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sweetbillwriting · 2 years ago

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This Is Bad, Billy -

Part 1 - Like In The Movies

Description: 1961. Joanie is a dreamer. She dreams of Hollywood, fashion and handsome men. Her favorite is the actor Billy Skarsgård. When she works as a volunteer at the hospital she meets him in an unexpected way and comes closer to him than she thought was possible.

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s L.A and a smaller town close to L.A.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse, drugs, religious themes, sexual themes.

The darkness of the movie theater was like a second home to me and I only left when I was forced to. It started with me and my father going to the cinema when my mom traveled away to help my older sister through her pregnancy. My dad and I didn't have so much to talk about so sitting in silence in a movie theater was perfect. We started out watching classics like The Wizard of Oz and Snow White but with time we started to watch the newest dramas and even some adventure movies. When My mom's travels to my sister became less and less my father's interest in the movies decreased but I was stuck. I couldn't just stop because I lived as much in the movies as I did in real life. When my father chose to do more important things than be with me I continued to go to the theater. My mother wasn't happy that I went by myself but after I graduated from high school I had time to go to the early showings and choose the darkness instead of the light of day. After I had celebrated my eighteenth birthday I could start watching all the movies I had just dreamt about and it was then I found him, Billy. Billy never played the good guy, he wasn't that dreamy perfect date Audrey Hepburn chose to kiss, Billy played the bad guy. In horror movies he played the murderer and in thrillers he was the rich guy you shouldn't trust. My fascination for him maybe sounded odd but right in that moment Billy was one of the more interesting actors and many girls dreamt about kissing his full lips. He was still so young, in his mid 20s, but already with a mysticism and poise as a man. But there was little information about him, probably because of his Swedish background and I wasn't even really sure how old he was and the tabloids seem to have the same problem. Billy was a mystery but became an even bigger mystery for me after I saw him on the psychiatric ward. Maybe it should have scared me seeing him there and having the cops all over him. He must have done something really bad for the police to treat him like that. Maybe he was a murderer just like the characters he played?

When I got home in the early morning after my shift at the hospital I took out the shoebox under my bed and looked through all the articles about celebrities I've saved. Even if Billy was my absolute favorite there weren't many with him. He wasn't the biggest name in cinema but it also seemed like he didn't want to share much about himself and on several questions he would answer "no comment". I had always seen that as proof of his star qualities but had now realized Billy probably just had things he wanted to stay in the shadows.

I wondered if I would see him again and when I slipped into bed with my curler in my bang and long sleeved nightgown I fantasized about meeting him again and how it all was a misunderstanding I could solve and as a thank you he would kiss me deeply like he kissed girls in the movies. I blushed to myself when I thought about his hand under my blouse but dragged a hand over my chest to feel how it might feel to let a boy that close.

My mother could never learn to let me sleep in after a night shift and woke me up at nine a clock, after just three hours of sleep.

"You can't sleep away the whole day. Do you want scramble eggs for breakfast?" She asked after she had dragged me out of bed and then she began to make my bed. I whined loudly and thought about my weird dream about Billy Skarsgård. That he was a patient in the psychiatric ward. I stood tiredly in the middle of the floor while my mother laid out a dress for me on the bed as if I were a kid. She had chosen the yellow one I hated because it was much longer than my other dresses and I didn't even show collarbones wearing it. It was a dress for a high school girl, not a grown woman like me.

While putting on the dress and doing my hair in a high ponytail I thought back to the dream and realized it actually wasn't a dream. The odd experience had actually happened. Earlier it had felt like a pain to go back to the hospital with all the jealous girls and grumpy doctor's but now I looked forward to it and started to plan how I would be able to go back to the psychiatric ward. Maybe I was just as insane as the patients there but I just thought about Billy's smile towards me and his broad back clad in black leather.

This could be an adventure of a lifetime. Just like in the movies.

×××

The reception room at the psychiatric ward looked the same as the night before, just as empty and silent but this time there was a younger woman sitting at the desk. Also she read, but a novel this time. It looked like something cheap and romantic, a book my mother would never let me read.

"Excuse me, is Mrs. Larsen here tonight?"

The woman looked up at me with an embarrassed face and I couldn't stop wondering what she actually just had been reading.

"Yes, if you sit down I can get her for you?"

I smiled and waved a little with the striped apron I had on.

"I work here so I can look by myself?"

"Okay. I mean, yes. I think she is in her office, it's past the staff room." The woman said while she stood up from the desk and locked up the door to the ward's long corridor.

I smiled a little and tried to look more confident than I was when I walked into the corridor. In my head I repeated the same two words over and over to feel more sure about myself:

Doctor's daughter. Doctor's daughter. Doctor's daughter.

Nothing bad would happen to me because I was the doctor's daughter.

×××

Last time I was in the corridor for the mentally ill all the doors to the patients were closed but tonight one door was open. I was forced to go by it to go to the staff room but instead of getting nervous or scared I felt excited. It must be Billy's room. My thought wasn't logical but right then and there, there was only one patient at the psychiatric ward for me. I looked in through the door while walking by and saw two male caretakers talking loudly and irritated to someone.

"No, time to sleep!" Said one of the caretakers and pushed down a person onto the steel framed bed. I thought back to the night before and became even more sure that it was Billy. It must be him that the caretaker got that irritated with. I stood and looked in through the door as if it were some sort of performance I was watching and just hoped to see Billy's face but when the caretaker moved away I saw it was an older woman. Tears streamed down her wrinkled skin while she muttered something to herself. She tried to push the caretakers away but they just continued to push her down in bed.

"Who are you?" Said one of the caretakers when he found me staring at them in the doorway.

"Excuse me, I work here. Just going to the staff room," I said with flushed cheeks and showed off my striped apron like it was my golden ticket. The caretaker just nodded and then took a hold of the old lady's wrist in a vise grip. She yelped in pain and I swallowed hard by seeing her pained expression. Why did they handle her so roughly?

I had a bad feeling when I walked away from the lady's room but tried to think about why I was there. Billy. I walked into the staff room that was much more welcoming than the rest of the ward. There were floral curtains on the windows, crochet table cloths and colorful paintings. I put on my hat and fixed my apron before knocking Mrs. Larsen's office door. I begged silently to myself that this would go well.

Mrs.Larsen opened with a wrapped sandwich in her hand and covered her full mouth with a hand.

"Oh, Ms. Woods. Can I help you with something?"

I gave her a puzzled look and looked around confused. All an act like I'd planned.

"You said yesterday that I should come tonight too?"

Mrs. Larsen swallowed dryly and brushed away some crumbs on her top lip.

"Did I? I'm sorry, I don't remember that. I guess I must have been tired."

I looked at her with big eyes and played with my fingers in front of me and my sweet way seemed to charm her.

"Oh well, we can probably find you something to do tonight too," she said with a smile and moved away from the door so I could walk into her little cramped office.

×××

Annike let me put the breakfast together with two nurses with kitchen duties. In the other wards the patients could write down what they wanted and then it was served in their rooms, this was not the way here. The food was prepared lovelessly and was put up in big serving dishes. I didn't even see them put butter on the bread. As soon as the clock turned five it was time for us to serve the food. I felt ashamed looking at the tired food presented as a buffet in the dining room and I guess the oldest of the nurses, Connie, saw what I was thinking and gave me a look.

"Many of them don't even know what they are eating. I don't think they can even taste things," she said while I looked down at the floor. It sounded just like an excuse, of course they could sense taste.

"Time to wake them up! Go and help the caretakers!" Said Connie with a strict voice and almost pushed me away. I hadn't believed I would come so close to the patients and got a bit nervous. In the corridor I could see one caretaker walk around and lock up the doors while the others went inside to help the patient up from the bed, or I guessed that was what they did. Just to do my part I opened a door and could see a girl my own age sitting in the bed. She was heavily pregnant and rubbed her eyes from sleep.

"Breakfast?" I said and she gave me a confused look but then she nodded with a smile.

"Thank you for…" She didn't say anything more because a caretaker looked into the room and she started to put on a green ragged cardigan. l smiled a little and then took the next door and opened. In the middle of the floor stood a man who looked around confused.

"Hey?" I said carefully. The man didn't seem to hear me so I took a step into the room.

"Hello?" The man looked at me with tired eyes but then started to laugh. Just when it started to feel scary a male caretaker dragged me out of the room.

"You shouldn't be here! If you want to help you can wake up the patients in the beginning of the hallway!” He screamed at me while he closed the door in front of the male patient's face. I stood quietly in shock but then felt a mix of panic and relief when I heard the male patient hit and scream against the other side of the door.

"Go! "Now!" Said the caretaker angrily and with my heart in my throat I ran to the first door in the corridor and opened it quickly with adrenaline in my body.

"Girl, girly!" Said a man in the room. "I'm naked!" He said at the same time I had realized the fact he had just given me. A long manly body laid stretched from head to toe in the bed and I panicked and turned around so fast I hit the wall. Behind me the man chuckled a little.

"Sorry… Are you okay, honey?" He asked when I covered my jaw after I had hit in the wall. I didn't say anything because I was a bit annoyed in the middle of my embarrassment. He was laying naked in a psychiatric ward but laughed at me because I had walked into a wall. He was insane for real.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said with a trembling voice and rubbed my jaw as I thought I could wipe away the pain.

"Is it breakfast?" He said in an almost happy tone and I wondered if I needed to be afraid of him too.

"Yes," I said embarrassed without turning around. I hadn't forgotten that there was a naked man behind me. I didn't want my first experience seeing a penis being together with a patient in the looney bin.

"Oh I'm so hungry… Ehh… Will you release me?"

I furrowed my brows and looked down at my white pumps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they said to you to wake me up for breakfast?"

"Yes?"

"Then you must release the handcuffs."

I looked up from my shoes, up at the wall. There was something in me that wanted to turn around and look at what he meant but all I could see in my head was my own imagination of what manhood looked like. My sister had said that they are really different at daytime and nighttime and I couldn't understand at all what she meant with that.

"Hand… Handcuffs?'' I said carefully. At that moment it suddenly hit me that I recognized the voice of the man. Was it actually Billy Skarsgård who was lying naked behind me, cuffed to the steel frame of the bed?

"Handcuffs," he just said and moved his hands so I could hear the metal of the handcuff slam against the bed frame.

"Bill… Bill, Billy?" I stuttered. I couldn't stop my impulses and now the craving was bigger of knowing if it was Billy behind me than the need to be a good girl.

He laughed silently.

"Yes. I'm Billy… What's your name, honey?"

My heart beated in my chest loudly and I forgot every important thing when I understood who I was talking to so with a hammering heart and eagerness I turned around even if he was naked.

"Oh my god!" I first said excitedly then I saw his naked body. The broad chest, the long, hairy legs but also his sex lying soft against his thigh surrounded with dark pubic hair.

"Oh my god!" I said again and turned around again horrified. There was so much naked skin. The only human I had seen that naked was myself. I heard Billy laugh again.

"Do you have the keys?"

I ran out of the room. I didn't have any keys but I was also terrified of seeing a naked man like that. Billy Skarsgård naked. I felt some sort of anxiousness by seeing it but it got even worse when I realized I wanted to see it again. Especially his manhood.

I stood in a blushing mess and stared into the wall opposite of the door to Billy's room and I could hear a male caretaker walk into him.

"Have you traumatized the girl for life now?” He said with a natural tone.

"With my naked body? I think my body is extremely normal," said Billy. The caretaker sighed deeply.

"Right.. So the question is what you do with all those girls… How you're able to destroy them…" said the caretaker lowly but with a hint of annoyance.

"I don't know. Can you take off the handcuffs now?" Billy said beggingly and his tone made me turn and look in through the doorway. I could just see his naked legs and feet. Everything passed the middle of his thigh, was covered by the caretaker's body while he stood in front of him. The caretaker laughed unamused and shook his head.

"If I could I would let you rot in this bed. Someone should do an exorcism on you instead of just drugging you…"

I swallowed hard and tightened my fist in front of me so hard my nails wounded me. Was Billy a rapist? Did he have a sexual deviation? Nymphomania? Or was he actually in contact with the devil?

I had never believed in the devil but standing there, hearing a grown sane man talk about an exorcism I didn't know what to believe.

"Can you just release me now? I'm really hungry."

I looked at the caretaker's back while he unlocked the handcuffs and then I moved to the side of the door, afraid that I would be seen eavesdropping or seeing Billy naked again.

"Dress and change sheets before breakfast, bedwetter," Said the caretaker before he left the room.

Luckily for me he didn't seem to notice me next to the doors opening and when he had left l looked into Billy's room again. He had put on the ward issued gray sweats and stood with his hands over his face. His shoulders bobbed as if he cried.

"Bill… Billy? Are you okay?" He exhaled deeply and wiped his eyes before looking at me. His eyes were red with tears and I felt a mix of sadness and nervousness seeing him like that. There must be something wrong, a mistake. Billy was a happy, talented, smart man. He wasn't a maniac.

"Yeah.. Yeah…" he said and smiled through the tears. "What's your name?"

I smiled a little, forgetting where we were and just saw handsome Billy in front of me. He was so tall but had an ugly wound over one of his brows and down his cheekbone.

"Joan, but everyone calls me Joanie."

"That's really pretty…" he smiled and started carefully taking away the sheets from the bed.

"Do you need help?" I asked as I walked into the room.

"Ehh…" Now he looked embarrassed and even got pink in the cheeks. He was so cute. "I laid in handcuffs here the whole day so I… I needed to urinate.."

I smiled calmingly towards him.

"I've cleaned worse things doing this job," I said and started to help him remove the sheets. He smiled big towards me and dragged a hand through his greasy hair.

"Thank you," he said and looked me deep in the eyes. I blushed and shrugged.

"I mean, Joanie?"

I looked up at him again, deep in those big green eyes.

"Thank you for treating me as a human."

×××

When Billy went to the canteen to eat breakfast I stood frozen in the hallway with his dirty sheets. He had smiled beautifully at me and dragged a hand through his hair in that sexy way he did in the movies. It affected me so hard that I was stuck standing in the hallway with a stupid smile on my lips while I imagined myself riding in a muscle car with him through floral fields.

"Joanie? Are you still here? I thought your shift ended an hour ago," said Annike and looked at me worriedly.

"Oh, yeah…" I said with a dreamy tone.

"Has something happened?" She laid her hand on my shoulder and looked at the sheets in my hands.

"I'm just tired," I smiled a little.

She nodded and released my shoulder.

"I hope you tell me otherwise… Dr. Woods…" She started the sentence but then looked at me with a careful smile.

"Just tell me then but if you want to you can come back here. When is your next shift?" I smiled big and imagined Billy's beautiful eyes in front of me.

"Next week on Tuesday. 10 am to 7 pm."

Annike nodded with a smile.

"I will talk with Dr. Fredricks. It's really nice to have you here," she said and once again laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Mrs. Larsen." I smiled sincerely because it was actually nice working at the psychiatric ward. No stupid Doctors, no jealous girls and instead of boring patients with a broken leg or fever there was actually a Hollywood star here. A Hollywood star who smiled at me brightly and I had even got to see him naked.

×××

My mother stood in the kitchen when I got home. It was silly really, how she could get up at 5 am just to prepare what we would eat for dinner twelve hours later. That was my mother's picture of the perfect wife, the dream for a woman to be, the dream for a man to have. If she knew I dreamt about Los Angeles, short skirts and now, also, an actor's penis she would have been horrified. She even thought the image of me as a working woman was horrible, me becoming an actress was almost as bad as prostitution.

"I'm going to bed…" I said without saying hello and walked with tired steps towards the stairs. My mom looked up at me and shook her head.

"I'll wake you up in a couple of hours, you must help me bake bread today."

I closed my eyes and walked up the stairs just by memory.

"The Dawson's are coming to dinner tomorrow," she continued and I whined loudly. My mom wanted me to meet their son, Jacob. She had shown me pictures of him and tried to impress me with the university courses he had taken. I asked as a joke what kinda car he had but that made my mother irritated for real. I was hopeless in her eyes and she wondered how I could become that way when my sister was such a good housewife. I wonder the same thing sometimes. Maybe it was my lack of friends or it was the movies I've watched but something in me believed there was something more than becoming a housewife like my mother. I was far too special to just have such a boring life.

I laid down in bed when I had put on my nightgown and thought about Billy again. I wanted to give him something. A gift. And maybe a pink letter with splashes of my perfume. I giggled and rubbed my cheek against the pillow in embarrassment when I thought about giving him my flower. A picture of his steel bed in the ward flew by in my mind and I shook my head to myself. We would do it somewhere else. Maybe on that floral field after we had cruised through it with his shiny car.

×××

Do young, cool men really wear bowties 1961?

Jacob Dawson did. A green plaid one that clashed with his blue striped suit. He looked like a little old man but my mom looked at him like he was the most charming boy.

For once I had done my hair in another style than a ponytail and it laid down over my chest with perfect bent tips. I felt pretty in my newest dress, a lime green dress with a shirt collar. It actually ended over my knee and I felt daring and like I had some spice. Jacob looked at me with big eyes while our parents spoke. I was far out of his league and just felt uncomfortable when he smiled at me.

"What… What do you like to do? When you don't work at the hospital?" He asked carefully and wiped the sauce in the corner of his mouth on his jacket sleeve. Charming.

I wanted to tell him the truth; Movies, Hollywood, music and fashion. But my mother hated all of those things and she sat and looked at me intensely.

"Oh, I read… I bake? And I take long walks."

My mother looked pleased and everything except the baking was true. And the walks were often just a way for me to escape and pretend I wore high end fashion and flirted with millionaires.

Jacob smiled at me and nodded. I didn't ask him back because I wasn't that interested but as most men he didn't seem to need a reason to talk about himself.

He talked about books he had read, lectures he'd been to and also the course he had taken to become a good husband. He was such a snoozefest that if my dress hadn't been sitting so tight I would have fallen asleep.

As a doctor's family we didn't have the luxury to ignore the phone while eating. My dad's job was way too important so when the phone rang my mother, as the perfect little housewife she was, walked to the phone to answer. The odds that it was to her was small but she wouldn't let my father do any unnecessary movement when he was home and now he also was in a deep conversation with Mr. Dawson about useless secretaries and stupid elevator staff. When my mom came into the dining room again she waited for my dad to look at her before talking.

"It's Dr. Fredricks on the phone but…" she turned to me and I looked at them confused. "He wants to talk to Joanie."

My dad looked at me then at my mom.

"Well let her then?" He just said and then turned to Mr. Dawson again. I looked at my mother to get her approval too. She gave me a worried look but showed with her hand it was okay for me to leave the table and take the call. I didn't know if it was what I wanted. Mr. Fredricks was bad news and it didn't feel like he could say anything positive. On nervous legs I walked to the kitchen where the phone stood on a side table.

"Yes, Dr. Fredricks?" I said politely and felt the nerves in my hand.

"Hello… Lovely Joanie," said a smooth manly voice. Not at all as Dr. Fredricks.

"Hello?" I said confused and looked around in the kitchen for an answer. The man laughed sweetly on the phone and exhaled deeply.

"It's me, Billy… Skarsgard."

"Billy??" I was surprised before I realized I probably should pretend like I was speaking with Dr. Fredricks.

"Yeah. I have some friends here that have helped me with some things… Do you want to take a ride? Now? Tell your parents that you have work and meet me at the parking lot on the north side of the hospital."

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #clark

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notinthecrowd · 5 months ago

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Seen Two Of Audrey Hepburn's most Famous Films

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1.5/5)

This film was on my bucket list of movies to see. It should of stayed on the shelf.

There was a reason why I kept putting it, but I could never remember why, then when the opening credits rolled, I remembered... It was Mickey Rooney's racist depiction of a seemingly Japanese man. It was heartbreaking and disappointing to see a actor that I believe to be funny and talented lower himself to ugly and unnecessary character.

For another else that has seen the movie, you know that if Mickey Rooney's character was not in the film, the movie would of been the same.

The racism wasnt the only thing that made me uncomfortable; without spoiling anything, there was a conversation of child marriage... yeah....

I feel the movie was written by people of there time and it was a excuse to have Hepburn walk up and down New York in pretty outfits. The two lead characters are written well, however their efforts to hold up the rest of the shoehorned chaos and drama falls flat.

The cat is the best character.

Funny Face (3/5)

The movie takes place it was seems like a late 1950's New York. The colors are vivid and bright, with well-tailored choreography and musical numbers, (Pun intended).

I was surprised it was a musical, but the pacing of the movie quickly makes you absorb the idea of its structure.

It stars Audrey Hepburn as an unwilling bookstore employee who is whisked away into a fashionista adventure on the advice of photographer Fred Astaire, who, on their first meeting, sexually assaults her by kissing her right on the lips and leaving. She sings a song about being infatuated... This was a movie of its time.

In the beginning, the pacing is very fast and things come together quickly. I had wished that they made Audrey's character get to know Astaires character before kissing a stranger.

After that, we quickly go to a beautiful and lively Paris, France. Paris is the main star of the movie.

It is a truly escapist move as you feel you are taking a trip to the city yourself.

As in 'Breakfast at Tiffany's," I feel this movie was an excuse to have Hepburn in beautiful outfits, but it works here as the movie is centered around fashion.

While I do feel Fred and Audrey have great chemistry, their drama and arguments in the film seemed forced and made them both come off as rather childish.

If there's nothing else on while traveling, I might give it another view, but rewatching it on my own, I wouldnt.

My all-time favorite movie of Audrey Hepburn's (So far) is 'My Fair Lady' if you haven't seen that one, give it a watch.

#audrey hepburn #breakfast at tiffany's #movies #funny face #paris #new york #my fair lady

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cryptidsolo · 2 years ago

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thats fuckin obi-wan kenobi!!!

#he was SO NICE #audrey’s adventures in meeting actors

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richincolor · 3 years ago

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We're wrapping up the year here at Rich in Color, and that means it's time for our bloggers to pick their favorite 2021 releases!

Picking your favorites every year is never easy, but after a significant amount of agony, I've narrowed my list down to just four. This isn't a definitive ranking but rather reflects the order in which I read these books. Are any of them make your favorites list this year?

Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley Henry Holt and Co. (BYR) || Group Discussion

As a biracial, unenrolled tribal member and the product of a scandal, eighteen-year-old Daunis Fontaine has never quite fit in, both in her hometown and on the nearby Ojibwe reservation. Daunis dreams of studying medicine, but when her family is struck by tragedy, she puts her future on hold to care for her fragile mother.

The only bright spot is meeting Jamie, the charming new recruit on her brother Levi’s hockey team. Yet even as Daunis falls for Jamie, certain details don’t add up and she senses the dashing hockey star is hiding something. Everything comes to light when Daunis witnesses a shocking murder, thrusting her into the heart of a criminal investigation.

Reluctantly, Daunis agrees to go undercover, but secretly pursues her own investigation, tracking down the criminals with her knowledge of chemistry and traditional medicine. But the deceptions—and deaths—keep piling up and soon the threat strikes too close to home.

Now, Daunis must learn what it means to be a strong Anishinaabe kwe (Ojibwe woman) and how far she'll go to protect her community, even if it tears apart the only world she’s ever known. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

The Forest of Stolen Girls by Jane Hur Feiwel & Friends || Audrey's Review

Hwani's family has never been the same since she and her younger sister went missing and were later found unconscious in the forest, near a gruesome crime scene. The only thing they remember: Their captor wore a painted-white mask.

To escape the haunting memories of this incident, the family flees their hometown. Years later, Detective Min—Hwani's father—learns that thirteen girls have recently disappeared under similar circumstances, and so he returns to their hometown to investigate... only to vanish as well.

Determined to find her father and solve the case that tore their family apart, Hwani returns home to pick up the trail. As she digs into the secrets of the small village—and reconnects with her now estranged sister—Hwani comes to realize that the answer lies within her own buried memories of what happened in the forest all those years ago. -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

From Little Tokyo, with Love by Sarah Kuhn Viking Books for Young Readers || Audrey's Review

If Rika’s life seems like the beginning of a familiar fairy tale–being an orphan with two bossy cousins and working away in her aunts’ business–she would be the first to reject that foolish notion. After all, she loves her family (even if her cousins were named after Disney characters), and with her biracial background, amazing judo skills and red-hot temper, she doesn’t quite fit the princess mold.

All that changes the instant she locks eyes with Grace Kimura, America’s reigning rom-com sweetheart, during the Nikkei Week Festival. From there, Rika embarks on a madcap adventure of hope and happiness–searching for clues about her long-lost mother, exploring Little Tokyo’s hidden treasures with a cute actor, and maybe…finally finding a sense of belonging.

But fairy tales are fiction and the real world isn’t so kind. Rika knows she’s setting herself up for disappointment, because happy endings don’t happen to girls like her. Should she walk away before she gets in even deeper, or let herself be swept away? -- Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Year of the Reaper by Makiia Lucier Clarion Books || Audrey's Review

The past never forgets . . .

Before an ambush by enemy soldiers, Lord Cassia was an engineer's apprentice on a mission entrusted by the king. But when plague sweeps over the land, leaving countless dead and devastating the kingdom, even Cas’ title cannot save him from a rotting prison cell and a merciless sickness.

Three years later, Cas wants only to return to his home in the mountains and forget past horrors. But home is not what he remembers. His castle has become a refuge for the royal court. And they have brought their enemies with them.

When an assassin targets those closest to the queen, Cas is drawn into a search for a killer…one that leads him to form an unexpected bond with a brilliant young historian named Lena. Cas and Lena soon realize that who is behind the attacks is far less important than why. They must look to the past, following the trail of a terrible secret—one that could threaten the kingdom’s newfound peace and plunge it back into war.

#weneeddiversebooks #firekeeper's daughter #the forest of stolen girls #year of the reaper #from little tokyo with love #book lists

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Syntax6

Syntax6 has 17 stories at Gossamer, but you should visit her website for the complete collection of her fics and to see the cover art that comes with many of the stories (and to find her pro writing!). She's written some of the most beloved casefiles in the fandom. I've recced literally all of them here before. Twice. Big thanks to Syntax6 for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I’m delighted but not surprised because I’ve written and read fanfic for shows even older than XF. Also, I joined the XF fandom relatively late, at the end of 1999, so there were already hundreds of “classic” fics out there, stories that were theoretically superseded or dated by canon developments that came after them, but which nonetheless remained compelling in their own right. That is the beauty of fanfic: it is inspired by its original creators but not bound by them. It’s a world of “what if” and each story gets to run in a new direction, irrespective of the canon and all the other stories spinning off in their own universes. In this way, fanfic becomes almost timeless.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

(I feel these are similar, at least for me, so I will combine them here.)

First and foremost, I found friends. There was a table full of XF fanfic writers at my wedding. Bugs was my maid of honor. I still talk to someone from XF fandom pretty much every day. Lysandra, Maybe Amanda, Michelle Kiefer, bugs…these are just some of the people who’ve been part of my life for half my existence now. Sometimes I get to have dinner with Audrey Roget or Anjou or MCA. Deb Wells and Sarah Ellen Parsons are part of my pro fic beta team. I have a similar list from the Hunter fandom, terrific people who have enriched my life in numerous ways and I am honored to count as friends.

Second, I learned a lot about writing during my years in XF fandom. I grew up there. Part of this growth experience was simply due to practice. I wrote about 1.2 million words of XF fanfic, which is the equivalent of 15 novels. I made mistakes and learned from them. But another essential part of learning is absorbing different kinds of well-told tales, and XF had these in spades. Some stories were funny. Others were lyrical. Some were short pieces with nary a word wasted while others were sprawling epics that took you on an adventure. The neat thing about XF is that it has space for many different kinds of stories, from hard-core sci-fi to historical romance. You can watch other authors executing these varied pieces and learn from them. You can form critique groups and ask for betas and get direct feedback on how to improve. It’s collaborative and fun, and this can’t be underestimated, generally supportive. The underlying shared love of the original product means that everyone comes into your work predisposed to enjoy it. I am grateful for all the encouragement and the critiques I received over my years in fandom.

Finally, I think a valuable lesson for writers that you can find in fandom, but not in your local author critique group, is how to handle yourself when your work goes public. Not everyone is going to like your work and they will make sure you know it. Some people will like it maybe too much, to the point where they cross boundaries. Learning to disengage yourself from public reaction to your work is a difficult but crucial aspect of being a writer. You control the story. You can’t control reaction to it. It’s frustrating at first, perhaps, but in the end, it’s freeing.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I participated in ATXC, the Haven message boards, and the Scullyfic mailing list/news group. For a number of years, I also ran a fic discussion group with bugs called The Why Incision.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I started reading XF fanfic before I began watching the show. I had watched one season two episode (Soft Light) and then seen bits and pieces of a few others from season four. I’d seen Fight the Future. Basically, I’d seen enough to know which one was Mulder and which one was Scully, and which one believed in aliens. An acquaintance linked me to a rec site for XF fanfic (Gertie’s, maybe?) so that I could see how fic was formatted for the web. I clicked a fic, I think it was one by Lydia Bower dealing with Scully’s cancer arc, and basically did not stop reading. Soon I was printing off 300K of fic to take home with me each night. I could not believe the level of talent in the fandom, and that there were so many excellent writers just giving away their works for free. I wanted to play in this sandbox, too, so I started renting the VHS tapes to catch up on old episodes (see, I am An Old). After a few months, I began writing my own stuff.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to The X-Files. I’m not a sci-fi person by nature. I think my main objection is that, when done poorly, it feels lazy to me. Who did the thing? A ghost! Maybe an alien? I guess we’ll never know. You can always just shrug and play some spooky music and the “truth will always be out there…” somewhere beyond the story in front of you. You never have to commit to any kind of truth because you can invent some magical power or new kind of alien to change the story. I think, by the bitter end, the XF had devolved into this kind of storytelling. The mytharc made no kind of sense even in its own universe. But for years the XF achieved the best aspects of sci-fi storytelling—narrative flexibility and an apotheosis of our current fears dressed up as a super entertaining yarn.

What eventually sold me on the XF as a show is all of the smart storytelling and the sheer amount of ideas contained within its run. At its best, it’s a brilliant show. You have mediations on good versus evil, the role of government in a free society, is there a God, are we alone in the universe, and what are the elements that make us who we are? If Mulder and Morris Fletcher switch bodies, how do we know it’s really “them”? The tonal shifts from week to week were clever and engaging. For Vince Gilligan, truth was always found in fellow human beings. For Darin Morgan, humans were the biggest monster of all. The show was big enough to contain both these premises, and indeed, was stronger for it. The deep questions, the character quirks, the unsolved mysteries and all that went unsaid in the Mulder-Scully relationship left so much room for fanfic writers to do their own work. As such, the fandom attracted and continues to attract both dabbling writers and those who are serious craftspeople. People who like the mystery and those who like the sci-fi angle. Scientists and true believers. Like the show, it’s big enough for all.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I look at it like an old friend I catch up with once in a while. We’ve been close for so long that there’s no awkwardness—we just get each other! I love seeing people post screen shots and commentary, and I think it’s wonderful that so many writers are still inventing new adventures for Mulder and Scully. That is how the characters live on, and indeed how any of us lives on, through the stories that others tell about us.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I ran the Hunter fandom for about five years, mostly because when I poked my head back in, I found the person in change was a bully who’d shut down everything due to her own waning interest. A person would try to start a topic for discussion, and she’d say, “We’ve already covered that.” Well, yes, in a 30-year-old show, there’s not a lot of new ground…

Most other shows, Hunter included, have smaller fandoms and thus don’t attract the depth of fan talent. I don’t just mean fanfic writers. I mean those who do visual art, fan vids, critiques, etc. The XF fandom has all these in droves, which makes it a rare and special place. But all fandoms have the particular joy of geeking out over favorite scenes and reveling in the meeting of shared minds. It will always look odd to those not contained within it, which brings me to the part of modern fandom I find somewhat uncomfortable…the creators are often in fan-space.

In Hunter, the female lead joins fan groups and participates. This is more common now in the age of social media, where writers, producers, actors, etc., are on the same platforms as the rest of us. Fan and creator interaction used to be highly circumscribed: fans wrote letters and maybe received a signed headshot in return. There were cons where show runners gave panels and took questions from the audience. You could stand in line to meet your favorite star. Now, you can @ your favorite star on Twitter, message her on Facebook or follow him on Instagram. In some ways, this is so fun! In other ways, it blurs in the lines in ways that make me uncomfortable. I think it’s rude, for example, if a fan were to go on a star’s social media and post fanfic there or say, “I thought the episode you wrote was terrible.” But what if it’s fan space and the actor is sitting right there, watching you? Is it rude to post fanfic in front of her, especially if she says it makes her uncomfortable? Is it mean to tell a writer his episode sucked right to his face?

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I own the first seven seasons on DVD and will pull them out from time to time to rewatch old faves. I’ve shown a few episodes over the spring and summer to my ten-year-old daughter, and it’s been fun to see the series through her eyes. We’ve mostly opted for the comedic episodes because there’s enough going on in the real world to give her nightmares. Her favorite so far is Je Souhaite.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don’t have much bandwidth to read fanfic these days. My job as a mystery/thriller author means I have to keep up with the market so I do most of my reading there right now. I also beta read for some pro-fic friends and betaing a novel will keep you busy.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I read so much back in the day that this answer could go on for pages. Alas, it also hasn’t changed much over the past fifteen years because I haven’t read much since then. But, as we’re talking Golden Oldies today, here are a bunch:

All the Mulders, by Alloway I find this short story both hilarious and haunting. Scully embraces her power in the upside down post-apocalyptic world.

Strangers and the Strange Dead, by Kipler Taut prose and an intriguing 3rd party POV make this story a winner, and that’s before the kicker of an ending, which presaged 1013’s.

Cellphone, by Marasmus Talk about your killer twists! Also one of the cleverest titles coming or going.

Arizona Highways, by Fialka I think this is one of the best-crafted stories to come out of the XF. It’s majestic in scope, full of complex literary structure and theme, and yet the plot moves like a runaway freight train. Both the Mulder and Scully characterizations are handled with tender care.

So, We Kissed, by Alelou What I love about this one is how it grounds Mulder and Scully in the ordinary. Mulder’s terrible secret doesn’t involve a UFO or some CSM-conspiracy. Scully goes to therapy that actually looks like therapy. I guess what I’m saying is that I utterly believe this version of M & S in addition to just enjoying reading about them.

Sore Luck at the Luxor, by Anubis Hot, funny, atmospheric. What’s not to love?

Black Hole Season, by Penumbra Nobody does wordsmithing like Penumbra. I use her in arguments with professional writers when they try to tell me that adverbs and adjectives MUST GO. Just gorgeous, sly, insightful prose.

The Dreaming Sea, by Revely This one reads like a fairytale in all the best ways. Revely creates such loving, beautiful worlds for M & S to live in, and I wish they could stay there always.

Malus Genius, by Plausible Deniability and MaybeAmanda Funny and fun, with great original characters, a sly casefile and some clear-eyed musings on the perils of getting older. This one resonates more and more the older I get. ;)

Riding the Whirlpool, by Pufferdeux I look this one up periodically to prove to people that it exists. Scully gets off on a washing machine while Mulder helps. Yet it’s in character? And kinda works? This one has to be read to be believed.

Bone of Contention (part 1, part 2), by Michelle Kiefer and Kel People used to tell me all the time that casefiles are super easy to write while the poetic vignette is hard. Well, I can’t say which is harder but there much fewer well-done casefiles in the fandom than there are poetic vignettes. This is one of the great ones.

Antidote, by Rachel Howard A fic that manages to be both hot and cold as it imagines Mulder and Scully trying to stay alive in the frosty wilderness while a deadly virus is on the loose. This is an ooooold fic that holds up impressively well given everything that followed it!

Falling Down in Four Acts, by Anubis Anubis was actually a bunch of different writers sharing a single author name. This particular one paints an angry, vivid world for Our Heroes and their compatriots. There is no happy ending here, but I read this once and it stayed with me forever.

The Opposite of Impulse, by Maria Nicole A sweet slice of life on a sunny day. When I imagine a gentler universe for Mulder and Scully, this is the kind of place I’d put them.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Bait and Switch is probably the most sophisticated and tightly plotted. It was late in my fanfic “career” and so it shows the benefits to all that learning. My favorite varies a lot, but I’ll say Universal Invariants because that one was nothing but fun.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I never say never! I don’t have any oldies sitting around, though. Everything I wrote, I posted.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I write casefiles…er, I mean mysteries, under my own name now, Joanna Schaffhausen. My main series with Reed and Ellery consists of a male-female crime solving team, so I get a little bit of my XF kick that way. Their first book, The Vanishing Season, started its life as an XF fanfic back in the day. I had to rewrite it from the ground up to get it published, but if you know both stories, you can spot the similarities.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

The answer any writer will tell you is “everywhere.” Ideas are cheap and they’re all around us—on the news, on the subway, in conversations with friends, from Twitter memes, on a walk through the woods. My mysteries are often rooted in true crime, often more than one of them.

Each idea is like a strand of colored thread, and you have to braid them together into a coherent story. This is the tricky part, determining which threads belong in which story. If the ideas enhance one another or if they just create an ugly tangent.

Mostly, though, stories begin by asking “what if?” What if Scully’s boyfriend Ethan had never been cut from the pilot? What if Scully had moved to Utah after Fight the Future? What if the Lone Gunmen financed their toys by writing a successful comic book starring a thinly veiled Mulder and Scully?

Growing up, I had a sweet old lady for a neighbor. Her name was Doris and she gave me coffee ice cream while we watched Wheel of Fortune together. Every time there was a snow storm, the snow melted in her backyard in a such way that suggested she had numerous bodies buried out there. How’s that for a “what if?”

What's the story behind your pen name?

I’ve had a few of them and honestly can’t tell you where they came from, it’s been so long ago. The “6” part of syntax6 is because I joke that 6 is my lucky number. In eighth grade, my algebra teacher would go around the room in order, asking each student their answer to the previous night’s homework problems. I realized quickly that I didn’t have to do all the problems, just the fifteenth one because my desk was 15th on her list. This worked well until the day she decided to call on kids in random order. When she got to me and asked me the answer to the problem I had not done, I just invented something on the spot. “Uh…six?”

Her: “You mean 0.6, don’t you?”

Me, nodding vigorously: “YES, I DO.”

Her: “Very good. Moving on…”

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My close friends and family have always known, and reactions have varied from mild befuddlement to enthusiastic support. My father voted in the Spookies one year, and you can believe he read the nominated stories before casting his vote. I think the most common reaction was: Why are you doing this for free? Why aren’t you trying to be a paid writer?

Well, having done both now, I can tell you that each kind of writing brings its own rewards. Fanfic is freeing because there is no pressure to make money from it. You can take risks and try new things and not have to worry if it fits into your business plan.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 15, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #syntax6

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songtoyou · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 1: The Pope, The Rabbi, and The Gypsy

Tolerate It

Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).

Word Count: 1,795

Warnings: Talks of sexual content.

Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.

A/N: I was very pleased with the positive reaction to the prologue of this fic. I am glad that some of you are liking it. For this chapter, we learn a little more about the OC, and how she will meet Tommy. We also learn about the owners and some of Excelsior's clientele, the secret exclusive club in downtown London. Tommy looks for a new girl now that Lizzie is gone.

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people actually like this fic. I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Excelsior was an exclusive invite-only club located in downtown London. Members included high profile men from actors, musicians, politicians, and business moguls. The activities that occur at Excelsior were top secret. Members and workers at the club were bound by a non-disclosure agreement to ensure nothing was made public. Excelsior was merely a very high-end gentlemen's club to the unassuming public, but underneath, it allowed members to succumb to their deepest desires.

Owned and run by "Duchess" Izabella Petrovna and her niece, "Princess" Tatiana Petrovna, the club was steeped in excess and glamour. No suspecting individual would ever think to confuse the establishment as an underground sex club. While the Duchess ran the business side of the operations, the Princess recruited the women. There was a certain criterion that the Princess enforced when it came to employing. First, the women had to be between the ages of twenty-one to thirty-five. The women underwent an extensive background check, along with a psych evaluation. Many of the employees found it hilarious that the Duchess and Princess required a psych evaluation considering that they themselves were equally eccentric…or insane, to put it mildly. Birth control was a non-negotiable requirement the women had to abide by. The women at the club had to partake in monthly STD tests to ensure they were clean and healthy.

While the Duchess and Princess were an oddball pairing, there was no denying that they cared for their girls and valued the work they did for the members. Their business endeavor allowed the Petrovna's to continue to live in luxuries that Russia no longer was able to provide. They paid well.

It was how Rose Turner provided a decent life for herself and her son, Louis. Rose had been working at the club for six years and in that time had garnered quite the clientele. However, it would be three men who would have a tumultuous impact on Rose's life. She referred to them as the Pope, the Rabbi, and the Gypsy.

The Pope was Luca Changretta, an Italian man from New York. Luca was a prominent businessman whose family still resided in England. While Audrey Changretta was a former school teacher, her husband Vincent, and youngest son Angel, owned restaurants and bars from Manchester to Birmingham, to London. They also dabbled in the real estate business and owned numerous high rise apartment buildings. The Changretta family was viewed as a rival to the Shelby clan. Both have tried to partner on business ventures with no deal ever emerging. The two families did not trust one another.

With Luca stationed over in the States, he would visit his family throughout the year during holidays, for birthdays, weddings, funerals, openings of new Changretta establishments. Time home also allowed for Luca to engage in his pleasures. His visits to Excelsior were always a big deal. Everything had to be perfect, according to Izabella. Tatiana assigned Rose to Luca.

"You are his type, no," Tatiana would say. "He likes the way you look. That innocent and doe-eyed look. Hooker with a heart of gold, they say, right."

Rose did not question Tatiana. She read through Luca's file to find out more about her new client and what he liked. The man was noticeably big into role play, especially in a religious aspect. He loved playing the part of a holy man while Rose played the Catholic school girl or nun. It was how Luca got the nickname, "The Pope." The man thankfully always managed to be a gentleman. He respected the rules of the club and never went overboard. If Rose was uncomfortable with acting out a scene, she knew it was okay to voice her worries. Luca never tried to fight her or manipulate her into partaking in a scene. He respected Rose's boundaries. She was one of his favorites at the club.

Alfie Solomons was nicknamed "The Rabbi" and another important client at Excelsior. He had his fill of women during his time at the club. So much so that the girls would talk openly with one another about his particular habits. For instance, Alfie never partook in actual intercourse with the women. Instead, he relied on toys such as dildos or vibrators to bring pleasure to his women. He would also make sure to wear black latex gloves while touching the women. Many assumed it was to keep himself clean and pure since he participated in activities that would be deemed excruciatingly unholy. Alfie made sure that Tatiana only gave him gentile women.

"No Jewish women, love. They are holy creatures and should be remained as such, okay," Alfie demanded.

When Rose saw Alfie for the first time, she was intimidated by his big stature. However, Alfie proved to be one of Rose's favorite clients. The man knew how to pleasure a woman. He always made scenes fun and intense. Some women would even fight over who got to be with Alfie on certain nights he was at the club. They all loved him.

As the son of a Russian Jewish woman and working-class Londoner father, Alfie worked his way up in the world. It would be the distillery business where Alfie would make his fortunes. From rum and vodka to gin, beer, and cider, Solomons & Sons was the top distillery company in the United Kingdom. It did not take long for the Shelby family came knocking on Alfie's door to partner with on business endeavors. While Alfie would continue to remain skeptical about the Shelby family, he knew the business deal with them would be too good to pass up. He loved having a go at Tommy Shelby from time-to-time to see how far he could push the Birmingham lad.

In fact, it was Alfie who told Tommy about Excelsior.

"You go from whore to whore with no care in the world. It is like you got a death wish. Seriously, don't you ever worry about getting the clap? I'll tell ya what…let me talk with one of my associates about inviting you to join this club I frequent. It will have everything you ever wanted and more. Trust me," Alfie shared with Tommy at one of their business meetings two years ago.

Tommy merely scoffed as he took a drag of his cigarette. "Trust you. Not likely, Alfie. As I recall, it was because of you that the deal with the Changrettas fell apart. Something about mentioning how my brother John got into a fight with Angel Changretta over a girl they both were seeing at the time."

With a shit-eating grin, Alfie replied, "I am a beacon of truth, eh."

"More like a pain in my ass," Tommy smirked.

As promised, Alfie talked with Tatiana about inviting Tommy to the club. She was adamant about meeting with the self-made millionaire. The Princess wanted to make sure he was suitable to partake in her establishment. If Tatiana had the ability, she would have kept Tommy all to herself if she could.

"None of those whores deserve you, Thomas," said Tatiana as she laid in bed next to him.

"No, they deserve better. Better than me, that is for sure. But…they are all I got. So, I need your help in finding the best one for me. One that I can take out in public if need be. One who can be presentable to society at certain functions I have to attend. That way, I can keep up the appearance of a family man who still grieves the loss of his wife while trying to move on with my life."

Lizzie Stark filled that position for two years before her sudden and unexpected departure at Excelsior. Now Tatiana had to find a new girl to assign for Tommy, which was no easy task with his certain expectations. The man was rather picky, to say the least. Perusing her girls' files, she realized that there was only one who could meet the requests of Tommy Shelby.

"Rose Turner," announced Tatiana and handed Tommy her file. "She has been with us for a couple of years. She is considered top-quality—good reviews from our top clients. As you can see, she is beautiful, no. She can be elegant if need be for your functions. Adventurous…flexible, if you know what I mean. She'd be perfect for you. What do you think?"

Tommy looked over Rose's file. Her birthdate indicated she was in her early thirties and from Blackpool, a seaside resort town on England's Irish Sea coast. It was England's very own Coney Island. Ada took Karl and Charlie there for a weekend getaway not long after Grace died to cheer up her nephew.

"How many men does she see regularly?" Tommy asked.

"Rose is considered top quality. Her clientele is small. She has no more than four regulars. One does not live here full-time. He only sees her when he visits family. The others…well, they are people from your circle of business partners."

"Is that so. Who would these men be?" Tommy inquired as he continued to look through Rose's file.

"I am not at liberty to tell you such vital information…"

"Well, Tatiana, let me take a guess. Could Alfie Solomons be one of Rose's clients? How about Darby Sabini? Is he on the list? Billy Kimber before his untimely departure on this Earth?" Tommy took a drag of his cigarette and tossed Rose's file on Tatiana's desk. "Set up a meeting for me with Rose. Not here, though. Tell her to meet me at The Savoy Hotel this Saturday night. Give her this as well," Tommy handed Tatiana an envelope she assumed had cash in it. "Tell her to buy something nice for the occasion. The two of us can talk over dinner, and if all goes well, we can end the night on a good note. Just know this Princess, if all goes well, then Rose becomes mine. Her other clients can fuck off for all I care. I am not one to share what is mine."

So here Rose was, at one of London's top boutiques picking out a dress for Saturday night. Tatiana explained the possible arrangement with Mr. Shelby, and if things went well, he would be Rose's main client. Meaning he would become Rose's only client. She had reservations about it until Tatiana shared how much Mr. Shelby was willing to pay. It was more money than Rose originally would make. Tatiana shared that Mr. Shelby would provide Rose a weekly allowance on top of her services' standard fees. The deal with too good to pass up. However, Tatiana was adamant to Rose that meeting Tommy first would be wise before agreeing to any deals.

All Rose knew was that she had a date with The Gypsy.

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby fic #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic

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justforbooks · 4 years ago

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Sean Connery, Oscar Winner and James Bond Star, Dies at 90

Sean Connery, the Scottish-born actor who rocketed to fame as James Bond and became one of the franchise’s most popular and enduring international stars, has died. He was 90.

Connery, long regarded as one of the best actors to have portrayed the iconic spy, was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 2000 and marked his 90th birthday in August. His death was confirmed by his family, according to the BBC, which notes that the actor died in his sleep while in the Bahamas. It’s believed he had been unwell for some time. His last acting role had been in Stephen Norrington’s “The League of Extraordinary Gentleman” (2003).

Connery was an audience favorite for more than 40 years and one of the screen’s most reliable and distinctive leading men. The actor was recently voted the best James Bond actor in an August Radio Times poll in the U.K. More than 14,000 voted and Connery claimed 56% of the vote. Global tributes poured in for Connery on Saturday following news of his death.

In a statement, Bond producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli said Connery “was and shall always be remembered as the original James Bond whose indelible entrance into cinema history began when he announced those unforgettable words, ‘The name’s Bond… James Bond.’

“He revolutionized the world with his gritty and witty portrayal of the sexy and charismatic secret agent. He is undoubtedly largely responsible for the success of the film series and we shall be forever grateful to him,” said the producers.

However, Connery — who made his debut in the first Bond film, “Dr. No” (1962) — also transcended Ian Fleming’s sexy Agent 007, and went on to distinguish himself with a long and mature career in such films as “The Wind and the Lion” (1975), “The Man Who Would Be King” (1975) and “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” (1989).

His turn as a tough Irish cop in Depression-era Chicago in Brian De Palma’s “The Untouchables” (1987) brought him a supporting actor Oscar.

Even as he entered his seventh decade, Connery’s star power remained so strong that he was constantly in demand and handsomely remunerated. In 1999 he was selected People magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Century, and from his 007 days to “Entrapment” (1999), opposite the much-younger Catherine Zeta-Jones, his screen roles more than justified the choice. Age seemed only to intensify his sex appeal and virility.

In his early career, his physique was his main asset as he modeled and picked up acting jobs where he could. In 1956, he landed the role of a battered prizefighter in the BBC production of “Requiem for a Heavyweight.” Good notices brought him to the attention of the entertainment community, and his first film was “No Road Back,” a B crime movie in 1956. He seemed doomed to play the hunk to ageing leading ladies, as he did opposite Lana Turner in “Another Time, Another Place,” or roles that stressed his looks such as “Tarzan’s Great Adventure” in 1959.

It was easy to dismiss him in films like “Darby O’Gill and the Little People,” but his Count Vronsky to Claire Bloom’s Anna Karenina on the BBC brought him some respect and the kind of attention needed to raise him to the top of the Daily Express’ poll of readers asked to suggest the ideal James Bond.

After an interview with producers Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, he landed the role without a screen test, according to Saltzman. It was a controversial choice at the time, as Connery was an unknown outside Britain. But 1962’s “Dr. No,” the first of the Bond films, made him an international star.

His stature grew with the ever more popular sequels “From Russia With Love,” “Goldfinger” and “Thunderball,” which arrived over the next four years. Bond gave Connery a license to earn; he was paid only $30,000 for “Dr. No” but $400,000 for Alfred Hitchcock’s “Marnie” and was soon getting $750,000 a film.

His initial efforts to break out of the Bond mold, however, proved fruitless. Films like “A Fine Madness,” “Shalako” and “The Molly Maguires” were well-intentioned attempts that did nothing to shake Connery as Bond from the public consciousness. After 1967’s “You Only Live Twice,” he left the Bond franchise, but he was coaxed back for 1971’s “Diamonds Are Forever.” He looked old for the role, and the series seemed tired, so with that, he left Bond behind — though money would tempt him back once last time in 1983 for “Never Say Never Again.”

He took a major misstep with sci-fi film “Zardoz,” and his career seemed to be foundering.

But he bounced back in 1974 with a supporting role in “Murder on the Orient Express” and the following year with “The Wind and the Lion” and “The Man Who Would Be King,” two bold adventures featuring a mature, salt-and-pepper-bearded Connery. “Robin and Marian” (1976) opposite Audrey Hepburn was not a popular success, but critics embraced it, and the film cemented Connery’s reputation as a versatile, serious screen actor.

In the late 1970s, there were more missteps such as “Meteor,” “A Bridge Too Far” and “Cuba.” But he scored in Terry Gilliam’s “Time Bandits.” It wasn’t until after his last Bond film that his standing as a box office star caught up to his critical reputation, thanks mostly to two huge worldwide hits: “Highlander,” which was not a big hit in the U.S., and “The Name of the Rose,” which was also much more popular abroad.

BAFTA gave him a best actor award for “Name of the Rose,” and he received his Oscar for “The Untouchables.” After that, he was an instant greenlight any time he agreed to take a role even if some of them, such as “The Presidio,” and “Family Business,” were not so hot.

Pairing Connery and Harrison Ford as father and son in the third “Indiana Jones” film was an inspired move, and the film grossed almost half a billion dollars worldwide.

Meanwhile, “The Hunt for Red October,” in which Connery played a defecting Soviet sub captain, was also a major hit in 1990.

By the 1990s, he was so popular that his uncredited cameo as King Richard in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” became one of the film’s highlights.

He was still a force to contend with in the foreign market, as “Highlander 2,” “Medicine Man,” “Rising Sun,” “Just Cause” and “First Knight” proved over the next several years. His salary was regularly $5 million and above.

One setback was a bout with throat cancer in the early 1990s, but Connery rebounded with a burst of activity. He starred with Nicolas Cage in 1996 actioner “The Rock,” playing a character that drew more than a little on his history as James Bond. In 2000, he essayed a very different role and received positive reviews for “Finding Forrester,” playing a reclusive writer who bonds with a young black basketball player who’s an aspiring scribe himself.

Nevertheless, he continued with action roles well after his 70th birthday, playing the legendary adventurer Allan Quatermain in 2003’s “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” He announced his retirement in 2005. He voiced a James Bond videogame the same year, and he subsequently did some other voice acting, playing the title character in the animated short “Sir Billi the Vet” and reprising the role in 2010 for “Sir Billi,” which he also exec produced.

Thomas Sean Connery was born of Irish ancestry in the slums of Edinburgh on Aug. 25, 1930. Poverty robbed him of an education, and by his teens he’d left school and was working as an unskilled laborer.

At 17, he was drafted into the Royal Navy, but he was discharged three years later due to a serious case of ulcers.

He returned to Edinburgh and worked a variety of jobs, including as a lifeguard. He took up bodybuilding and placed third in the 1950 Mr. Universe competition.

After moving to London, he learned of an opening in the chorus of “South Pacific.” He took a crash dancing and singing course and, surprisingly, landed the role, in which he stayed for 18 months. He was “hooked,” he said, but spent several years paying his dues in small repertory companies in and around London before anyone else became hooked on him.

Connery was devoted to his native Scotland and used his stature to press for the re-establishment of a Scottish parliament. When the body reconvened in 1999, 296 years after its last meeting, Connery was invited to address the first session, where he was greeted with a thunderous ovation. The next year, when he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II — an honor he called “one of the proudest days of my life” — he asked that the investiture be performed in Edinburgh.

Connery published his autobiography, “Being a Scot,” co-written with Murray Grigor, in 2008. Besides his knighthood and his Academy Award, he received many kudos over his long career, including the Kennedy Center Honors in 1999 and the American Film Institute’s lifetime achievement award in 2006.

Connery was married to actress Diane Cilento from 1962-73. The couple divorced in 1973 and Cilento died in 2011. Connery is survived by his second wife, painter Micheline Roquebrune, whom he married in 1975; his son by Cilento, actor Jason Connery; and a grandson from Jason’s marriage to actress Mia Sara.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Sean Connery

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whindsor · 5 years ago

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So at the start of 2019, I made the resolution to read more books! I used to be a voracious reader as a kid, but between college and grad school I kind of...forgot how to do that? So I got myself a library card (clutch, tbh) and spent the year enjoying free books and audiobooks!

Below the cut are the books that I read with short reviews about them. They aren’t the only books I started, but the cool thing about a library card is that since the books are free, you don’t feel bad about not finishing them if you don’t like them!

Take a gander, maybe you’ll find your next favorite read!

Brief summary, meaning my favorite books of the year: An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir, Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, and An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green!

As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of the Princess Bride by Cary Elwes 7/10 IDK if I enjoyed this because of nostalgia or because it was the first book I borrowed with my fancy dancy library card but either way it was nice to read a first hand account of one of my favorite movies, written by an actor that obviously feels a lot of affection towards it. Snaps to you, Cary Elwes.

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo 7/10 I read it because it was Wonder Woman! She saves a girl who washes up on the shores of Themyscira and goes on an adventure to save her from ancient magic forces. TBH it wasn’t anything earth shattering but it was a fun, adventurous read and an entertaining story. Minus two points because Leigh Bardugo got paid to write fanfiction and I haven’t achieved that yet.

The Selection by Keira Cass 6/10 It was interesting enough to finish the audiobook, and I continued it because I was curious as to what would happen. It’s almost like a medieval AU of The Bachelor. But then the dreaded love triangle came up and I didn’t like where it was going so I didn’t finish the sequel. Entertaining enough, but not one I would go back to.

Wicked Appetite / Wicked Business / Wicked Charms by Janet Evanovich 6/10 Again, juuuuuuuust interesting enough for me to finish the audiobooks. It was the first audiobooks I got with ye olde librarie carde so that’s probably why I was so attached to finishing them. Also it’s about a girl that has magic baking powers, which is also probably why I wanted to finish it. She has to track down dragon balls or something I can’t really remember but it wasn’t bad.

Outlander / Dragonfly in Amber / Voyager by Diana Gabaldon 8/10 I LOVED Outlander, loved Dragonfly in Amber slightly less, and could barely finish Voyager. The series is about a British WWII nurse who gets sent back in time to 1793 Scotland and has to navigate all that mess. Jamie Fraser and eventually Fergus are the crown jewels of this story. Outlander was fantastic to me, it was interesting and funny and saucy and all in all a good story about time travel and the repercussions. There’s like, five more books in the series but again, I lost interest. I’ll probably go back and see what happens though cause I think Gabaldon brings in new characters.

The Lost Girls of Paris by Pam Jenoff 8/10 A book about women spies in WWII France?? Fighting the Nazis and falling in love and being heroes?? Loved it. The characters were real and the fear palpable. Minus two points cause the love subplot was a touch underdeveloped but who knows man war changes things.

A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab 9/10 The third in the series starting with A Darker Shade of Magic. I loooooooved the characters in this story, the plot twists were exciting instead of annoying, and the way that she uses magic and secrets and reveals were perfection. And I actually really enjoyed the ending, which is surprising. Would read again.

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green 9/10 A super interesting story about a mysterious sculpture that appears in New York and the subsequent fallout of crazy things that happen. I listened to the audiobook and the narrators were perfect, the story is fast paced and has good twists and the characters are super real and relatable and fallible. TBH I read it cause it’s John Green’s brother (I assume, I didn’t fact check) and he did NOT disappoint. Minus one point just cause I can’t bring myself to give out 10′s a lot.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer 8/10 Honestly? People shit on this book but I really enjoyed it. It’s fun and heart wrenching and an interesting take on the Cinderella story. One of these days I’ll finish Scarlet which is the sequel.

The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger 6/10 Holy shit this was way more intense than I anticipated it being. It was a really good take on time travel and the way it affects people. Truth be told I never saw the movie, but this book was crazy and saucy and super interesting. I didn’t give it a higher rating just cause the time traveler knew his wife since she was six and that doesn’t sit well with me.

Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli 7/10 Both the movie and the book were good, with all the drama and heartache of 1) being a teenager and 2) coming out to the people around him. Very poignant and emotional. Didn’t give it a higher rating just cause it wasn’t super memorable to me? But then again, that’s cause I’m a twenty-something woman and not a teenage gay boy so while it was beautifully written and definitely a very important book, it just wasn’t one of my faves.

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly 7/10 More women in WWII! Now with all this boss historical fiction coming out I can definitely see why guys are so obsessed with WWII. Then again, I think I would be obsessed with any stories detailing how badass women are during the war. It covers stories from all sides of the war - including the Nazis - and makes it seem so much more real. I started reading the sequel but it wasn’t quite as interesting.

The Diviners by Libba Bray 8/10 A fun fantasy mystery set in 1920′s New York! With ghosts and demons and magic powers and flappers! I really enjoyed it and am currently working on the sequel. The jargon is what really gets me like it’s so Great Gatsby but better. Would recommend.

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi 7/10 A patient recommended this to me. It’s about a girl imprisoned because she has powers and that is Dangerous. It’s of course a post-apocalyptic military state situation, and she’s trying to escape and low key start an uprising. A really good story with a really interesting voice to the main character. Like, this writing style was SO DIFFERENT and amazing, I’ve never read anything like it. I didn’t continue the series just because the voice was SO good and in tune that it kinda stressed me out.

Time After Time by Lisa Grunwald 6/10 An A+ concept about a ghost in the New York subway and the man who loves her. It’s an interesting take on a lil paranormal romance. I loved the lore and the historical setting (it takes place in like, the 40′s) and really paints a fantastic scene!

Berserker by Emmy Laybourne 8/10 Listen, this book was not something historians will be talking about for years to come. But it’s about a family of siblings who have magic Nordic powers and have to escape Norway and come to the US (which is in prime Old West time) to find their uncle. And they meet a COWBOY. It’s a story about family and love and also occasionally killing people because you have the blood of Odin or some shit and honestly? Catered directly to me.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson 8/10 A fun and cool murder mystery set in a special fancy boarding school. Maureen Johnson has been one of my faves for a long time and she did not disappoint with this! It’s about a girl obsessed with a murder at the school, and she transfers in so she can solve it. And the TWIST at the END? Great!

An Ember in the Ashes / A Torch Against the Night / A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir 9/10 Another 9 because I can’t bring myself to give a 10, though if anything this series would get it. The voices that Tahir writes with are INCREDIBLE and the story is nuanced and compelling and so good. It’s about a teenager trying to save her brother from prison, as well as a guy graduating from assassin school. I don’t wanna say too much cause I don’t want to spoil if anyone reads it but tbh if you only pick one series PICK THIS ONE. If you like fantasy and stuff of course.

The Huntress by Kate Quinn 8/10 Listen. Mystery solving New York girl, post war. Men hunting former Nazis. Bicon Russian girl who was in the Russian Air force. Do I really need to say more? A phenomenal story that takes place before, during, and after WWII, and the wide variety of stories happening during that time. Great if you love historical fiction!

Sourdough by Robin Sloan 8/10 Just like Berserker this book probably isn’t something they’re gonna teach in English classes. But it’s about a girl who works in robotics on proprioception (!!!) and then?? Starts baking bread??? AKA everything I love in life so, you know, once again a book catering specifically to me.

Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer by Rick Riorden 7/10 As always, Riorden delivers a phenomenal story with phenomenal characters. And it includes populations that aren’t often the main characters in literature - a homeless teen and a Muslim teen, to name two. I haven’t continued the series just cause I got distracted with other things, but I totally want to.

I’m Not Dying with You Tonight by Kimberly Jones 7/10 A grand adventure that takes place over the course of one night in Atlanta. When a riot breaks out, two girls who haven’t spoken or really know each other are pushed together and spend the rest of the night trying to survive and make it home. It demonstrates two sides of life, and how they’re the same and how they’re different. I listened to the audiobook, which had phenomenal readers.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee 8/10 A story about a spoiled rich bi boy who’s going on one final tour of Europe before he has to settle down and run his family’s estate. His best friend and his sister are with him, and of course everything goes to hell in a handbasket. But it’s a crazy journey and an excellent coming of age story.

In The Woods / The Likeness by Tana French 8/10 AMAZING murder mysteries! The first is about the murder of a kid in Ireland, and the toll it takes on the investigators and people around them. It has an amazing twist at the end, and even though it takes a while for them to solve the murder, it never gets boring. Same with the second one! It’s a crazy situation that would never happen in real life, but she writes it SO WELL that i don’t even care! I will probably skip the third one cause it’s about a character I don’t really like and also takes place in the past before all of this, but I do want to continue reading these!

Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark 8/10 A great book of essays written by the voices behind “My Favorite Murder,” which is a hilarious and semi-informative true crime podcast. But they talk about more than just true crime in the book - in fact, it’s more about things that they’ve learned throughout their crazy lives. Super eye opening and also really entertaining, and I actually listened to it before I even listened to the podcast, so I feel like that’s saying something!

#whindsors reviews #book reviews #2k19 books #reading recs #book recs #let me know if you read any of these!!!!#(also does anyone wanna be in a book club)

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pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc · 5 years ago

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Hi could I get a ship? ❤️ I’m tall and chubby. I have medium length dark brown hair and green eyes. I’m a shy person when you first meet me and can some times come off a little rude but I’m usually just nervous and blunt. I’m super bubbly- almost childish and love situations where the mundane can become an adventure. I am an introvert and like having a close few who makes those situations happen. I love acting, writing and psychology and am a sucker for horror. Thank you!❤️

i’m in class right now, so this might be kinda brief, but i ship you with rory!

you’re just as tall as him, which doesn’t intimidate him at all

if anything he likes it because he can be the little spoon for once

he’s totally cool if you’re shy, or even come off a little rude, because have you met him? he’s a little obnoxious

also he’s made it his personal mission to get you to open up

but he would for sure not pressure you into social situations if you’re nervous

they say opposites attract, but similar personalities do too

you’re both kids at heart and will go out and do childish activities together

like this one time you went into the forest and just picked up some big sticks and went on a hike together

you would totally have a MASSIVE energy high and literally bounce off the walls until you both pass out

he also LOVES tickling you and making you laugh it just makes him melt

he’ll introduce you to the cast of my roanoke nightmare, and they fall in love with you

he actually gets a little jealous when he sees you hanging out with shelby, audrey, and matt

he loves that you’re passionate about acting and writing because hello? he’s a popular actor

he’ll totally bounce his lines off of you because you know what you’re doing

he thinks you’re really talented actually and he’ll try to get you a role on any projects he hears about

since he was on a horror show, i think it’s safe to assume he likes horror movies too

he’ll make a date for every friday to go on netflix and watch a scary movie with you

it may or may not be an excuse to cuddle you... who knows?

he loves your spirit and childish wonder

he’s defo gonna put a ring on it sometime soon 😳

#rory monahan #ahs roanoke #ahsfx #american horror story #ask response #ships #pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc answers

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arnoldmcguireworld · 5 years ago

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A list of characters that should have showed up in the last 2 Descendants movies.

All for fun of course. Let’s begin. For their parents, All of them are reprising their roles from Once Upon a Time, but without even remembering their adventures in the show.

Descendants 2

Asher Angel as Joseff, son of Anna and Kristoff, nephew of Elsa

Elizabeth Lail as Princess Anna, mother of Joseff

Scott Michael Foster as Kristoff, father of Joseff

Georgina Haig as Queen Elsa, aunt of Joseff

Descendants 3 (the aforementioned characters I mentioned from 2 return in 3)

Olivia Rodrigo as Melody, daughter of Ariel and Eric (Appears at the end of “You and Me” on Descendants 2 before fully debuting on Descendants 3)

JoAnna Garcia-Swisher as Princess Ariel, mother of Melody

(Since I don’t know who played Eric in Once Upon a Time I’ll just assume said actor reprises his role in Descendants 3.)

In the 2nd movie, Joseff has the B-plot of having a grudge with his aunt Elsa due to most of Auradon believing she saved Arendelle, not Anna (Anna’s act of true loved stopped the eternal winter there, before it becoming part of Auradon), and getting in trouble at Auradon prep whenever the students mention this false fact, which sends him angry and getting a fight with them. After King Ben still refusing to believe that Anna saved Arendelle after showing Ben the evidences, he ends up joining Uma and her crew out of revenge to all of Auradon. (It was later revealed he and Uma knew each other as kids when he ran away at one time to the Isle of The Lost, for the same reason.) He would later become a big brother figure to Dizzy Tremaine after seeing her bullied by Harry Hook. Throughout his time with the Lost, he and Uma end up falling in love with each other, in a somehow attempt to be like Ben, but in the other way.

In the final battle, he lost to Mal’s dragon form after Uma breaks up with him during the battle and abandons him, and ends up sinking to his death, but Mal saved him. However, once he regained consciousness in the same boat, out of anger, He immediately tackles Mal and tries to kill her by punching hard on her right chest (believing if he did this, her heart will stop beating and will die immediately) because “Everything was taken away” from him (His relationship with Uma, Dizzy’s chances to go to Auradon and he truth never believed by those in Auradon about Anna), but fails after 12 attempted punches and ends up sobbing because he lost it all. However, Mal and Ben promise to help Joseff find a way to start all over and bring the truth to all, which helps him turn to good once more, get Dizzy to Auradon and finally having all of Auradon recognize that Anna saved Arendelle. He also ends up meeting Melody and being her date in the Cotillion.

It was found out after a string of events that finally gave Anna her hero status known to all of Auradon, a commoner suitor of Elsa did this false story after rejecting him, ending with the said offender that cause Joseff’s anger for years being locked up for his deceit, but not without Joseff punching him first out of anger. Also, Dizzy ends up living with Anna, Kristoff, and Joseff as the daughter they never had, allowing her to live in Auradon. In fact the family personally picked Dizzy up themselves once she got her invitation and Anna thanks Joseff for giving the family a daughter they can make a part of their family.

For the 3rd movie, He joins the VKs to stop Audrey, but this time Melody ends up joining with him. Along the way Melody has feelings for Joseff but she never got a chance to tell him throughout the story due to the events happening too fast, making her shelve them until the problem is over, but she was the catalyst for Joseff and Uma to make up and be friends again, meaning she had no grudge with Uma despite their mothers being sworn enemies, but also out of worry for Joseff. She even ships Uma with Harry. in turn, Joseff thanks Uma for bringing him and Melody together and closer than ever, leading to a mashup cover of “Do You Want to Build a Snowman”, “In Summer” and the reprise of “Part of Your World” sang by Joseff and Melody to Uma, allowing the two of them to finally tell each other how they feel about each other. In the final battle with Audrey, Joseff and Melody end up riding on Dragon!Mal, to help her defeat Audrey. An “Act of True Love” from Melody helped them win the fight as it helped Joseff’s Ice Amulet to turn Pink and allowed its power to augment Uma and Mal’s power to beat her. After Hades left the place after healing Audrey, Joseff and Melody thanks Mal for everything, and Mal hugged the two.

Once the barrier has been disabled, Melody and Joseff ended up getting their True Love’s Kiss for the first time, with both of them thanking Mal and Uma for this to happen, and they are now Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Melody even gets to have Squeaky and Squirmy as her adopted younger brothers and Joseff gets to have another younger sister through Celia whom he bonded throughout the movie as well. (To be clear, Dizzy, Celia, Squeaky and Squirmy live with them (not fully adopted) but gets the sons and daughters treatment from their live-in parents (Anna and Kristoff towards Dizzy and Celia and Ariel and Eric towards Squeaky and Squirmy)) During the end credits, Anna and Ariel comment on the events of both movies and Anna says, “If it wasn’t for Mal, maybe Auradon would still be worst off.”

As for the 5 Disney Heroes I mentioned? Anna, Elsa and Kristoff do play a role, with Anna and Elsa being on Mal’s side and asking her to save Joseff in the 2nd movie. They even help Joseff meet Melody at the end. The trio joins Ariel and Eric as a side plot to find a way to beat Audrey, and even getting to meet up with the VKs and AKs at one point after all the VKs and AKs of the story have gathered up. The reason they survived being asleep or turned to stone was Elsa did an ice barrier that allowed them to teleport out of Ben’s office (When the ice shattered, they were gone). They were even there at the last scene when the barrier was removed, as well as the aforementioned end credits scene.

(EDIT: Did some tweaking after finding some spelling and grammar errors.)

#Disney Descendants #Descendants 2 #Descendants 3

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mygreatadventurehasbegun · 5 years ago

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4, 8, 17, 30

4. Favorite onscreen outfits

There are so many!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I want every single thing Olivia de Havilland wears in The Adventures of Robin Hood

But other favorites include: Anne of the Thousand Days, Notorious, Funny Girl, Ever After and Meet me in St. Louis!

8. Best looking actor

Again, SO MANY!

17. Favorite ending to a movie

I know it’s not Old Hollywood, but I LOVE the ending to the movie Parenthood. That montage always gets me right in the feels.

Otherwise, I’d probably pick the ending to The Heiress

30. Actors you wish you could be friends with

I’d probably go with Audrey! She seemed like she’d be fun to hang out with….definitely a great shopping partner!

And I feel like Claude Rains would be the kind of friend you’d sit down with and have very intellectual conversations with.

#claude rains #audrey hepburn #olivia de havilland #errol flynn #Marlon Brando #paul newman #the heiress #the adventures of robin hood

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ultralifehackerguru-blog · 5 years ago

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New Post has been published on http://lifehacker.guru/the-55-best-romantic-comedies-of-all-time/

The 55 Best Romantic Comedies of All Time

There is no “best” romantic comedy. Something is funny when someone laughs, or romantic when their heart swells, for better or for worse, and we have no right to say why one of these should top another. Your uncle, or cube-mate might say, “That’s stupid. Breakfast at Tiffany’s is obviously the best rom-com of all time.” And they may not be wrong. But maybe you have some reservations about the horrifyingly racist overtones in some of that movie’s scenes, even though you can’t help loving Audrey Hepburn. Maybe it’s the best for a certain time period. It’s tough. Comedy is subjective. So is romance.

It’s for this reason that we had such a good time making this list, at least initially. And lots of help. People keep a special place in their heart for romantic comedies. They talk about them differently than other movies, and they like to talk about them a lot. When the call went out, we heard from writers, editors, friends, moms, therapists, bartenders, people we hadn’t talked to since high school; the list goes on. The initial gathering of candidates was great fun; the subsequent reaping less so.

First, we had to limit the category. We love Dazed and Confused and it contains plenty of romance, and comedy, but we can’t be sure it’s a romantic comedy per se. Same with Secretary, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, My Girl, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and about 500 other films. We don’t have enough space here to get into exactly what makes a romantic comedy, but let’s agree that the fact it is not a tragedy or a history is not enough. Somewhere we have to draw the line between the actual rom-coms and the coming of age movies, or mysteries, or adventures.

It’s for this reason we need to apologize in advance: A number of your favorite romantic comedies will not be on this list. Some of them didn’t fit the mold. Others—and this part got a little heated—we just couldn’t get on board with. Decisions had to be made. Hopefully, as a benefit to any disappointment of missing favorites, you’ll find some new ones you didn’t yet know you liked. After all, that’s the message from Pretty Woman, right? It’s important to keep an open mind. Otherwise, you could be making a big mistake, big, huge.

These are the best 55 rom-coms for every situation. We hope you love them.

The Best Rom-Com . . .

. . . to put your one-night stand in perspective:

Obvious Child (2014)

Photo: Everett Collection

The hardest you’ll ever laugh about abortion. That’s right, abortion. Talk about playing with fire, but this tender, deeply human comedy from director Gillian Robespierre finds entirely new ways into the story of losing Mr. Wrong, then Finding Mr. Right (by having our hero, a struggling comedian—played by the irrepressibly honest and infinitely endearing Jenny Slate—get drunk with Mr. Right, sleep with Mr. Right, get pregnant by Mr. Right, and then deal with the consequences). While riotously funny, Obvious Child set a new standard for intimacy, and Robespierre’s ribbed, tone-perfect writing and Slate’s raw but intelligent performance managed to shape a millennial mirror more reflective than anything Girls could put forward in six seasons. And give us the abortion comedy we didn’t know we needed.

. . . to deal with your workplace crush(es):

Broadcast News (1987)

Photo: Everett Collection

In the mid to late ’80s, there was nothing bigger than TV news and James L. Brooks, and Broadcast News was their meeting ground. After the slaphappy, very silly, and very male comedies of the late ’70s and early ’80s (think Animal House, Porky’s, and Revenge of the Nerds), and alongside the epic big-budget projects like Ghostbusters and the original Indiana Jones, James L. Brooks continued to redefine what rom-coms could be with this sprawling, occasionally dramatic but never self-serious, workplace comedy. We root for Albert Brooks’s Aaron Altman, the brainy, nervous, serious journalist who competes for the affections of neurotic producer Jane Craig (Holly Hunter) against the impossibly polished (and intellectually inferior) Tom Grunick (William Hurt). Brooks is the producer behind films like Bottle Rocket, Say Anything . . ., and Big, and TV series like Mary Tyler Moore, Taxi, and The Simpsons. No one knows how to get at our hearts—thoughtfully, gracefully, and with humor—like James L. Brooks. And this is him at his peak.

. . . to see past a gruff exterior:

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

©Buena Vista Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

“Tale as old as time . . .” It really is. Lonely, powerful dudes have been making off with damsels and then hiding them away since at least Greek mythology and probably before. Where Disney scored with its animated musical was in—pardon the pun—reanimating that classic story line in a way that was appealing to our eyes and ears, and that of our kids’, while maintaining some real danger in the narrative. It’s a triumph they repeated with Aladdin and The Lion King, but is especially notable with a romance—making the stakes high enough—and real, even when accompanied by singing teapot—that we root for these characters to end up together.

..for when you’re in the mood for first love, Wes Anderson-style.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

“I will meet you in the meadow,” writes bespectacled Sam (Jared Gilman) to serious Suzy (Kara Heyward) as they prepare to run away together. Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, a whimsical tale of a romance betwixt a pair of wise-beyond-their-years 12-year-olds (beautifully art-directed and accessorized as always), is a tonic to the jaded palate. The children, with their barely sexual, pure-hearted affection for each other, could teach the misbehaving adults around them a thing or two about love. Who wouldn’t want to dance on the beach in their underwear to Françoise Hardy?

. . . to get you over getting over your ex:

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Courtesy Everett Collection

The credits of The Philadelphia Story read like something out of a dream: Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart vying for the love of Katharine Hepburn. It’s produced by Joseph L. Mankiewicz (writer of All About Eve and Cleopatra), and directed by George Cukor (who made 1954’s A Star Is Born, Justine, and My Fair Lady, and once told Marilyn Monroe, “That will be just fine, darling” when, about to film a skinny-dipping scene for Something’s Got To Give, she expressed her concern that she only knew how to dog-paddle). The Philadelphia Story relies on some dependable tropes—lovers who’ve fallen out; will-they-or-won’t-they-get-back-together—that have provided romantic tension from A Midsummer Night’s Dream to Crazy, Stupid, Love. But it’s Hepburn, aiming for a comeback following some serious bombs, and her witty repartee with her two love interests, Grant (her yacht-designing reformed bad boy of an ex-husband) and Stewart (a tabloid reporter), that is the movie’s bread and butter. The Main Line has never been so well represented.

. . . to take on a trip:

Lost in Translation (2003)

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There was never any doubt that Scarlett Johansson was going to be a mega star, but Sofia Coppola’s movie—about the lonely wife of a photographer who befriends an over-the-hill movie star (Bill Murray) while visiting Tokyo—is what made the world stand up and realize we were dealing with a serious actor. Like many of the films on this list, Lost in Translation takes place in a bourgeois universe, where the greatest thing at risk is someone’s heart, or future emotional happiness, but few films have so effectively crystalized the alienation of both travel and marriage, as well as the difficulties of postcollegiate, and then midlife, malaise. The older man and the younger woman don’t so much meet-cute as crash into each other, picking up each other’s pieces, redeeming each other’s lives as they navigate their surreal setting. It’s a match made in heaven—and without spoiling anything, their goodbye scene is among the best in Hollywood history.

. . . to reevaluate your checklist:

Clueless (1995)

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The motherless daughter, caring for her father and looking for her prince, is a trope that goes back to the fairy tales, but how Alicia Silverstone (who plays our hero, Cher) and writer-director Amy Heckerling contemporized that narrative is what made what could have been a silly teen flick into an instant classic. They imported a Jane Austen story line of a meddling would-be matchmaker (Emma) into a bright pink, plastic, kids-are-adults world of Beverly Hills privilege populated by overly dramatic in-talk (“Whatever!”; “As if!”), lunatic high fashion, and decidedly un-relatable problems. At the same time, they maintained a storybook sensibility, and somehow kept our sympathies with the lovelorn Cher, whose insipidness is overshadowed by her charity, loyalty, and genuine goodwill. We believe she deserves love, and if she gets smart enough to stop looking for it in the “right” places, we want her to find it.

. . . to help you sort out what to do with the rest of your life:

The Graduate (1967)

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This is the film on this list that is least certainly a rom-com; it caused a bit of a row, in fact. Some of us believe that this movie is ultimately too sad to give the viewer the warm fuzzies they depend on this genre for. Others argue that this line of thinking may confuse what’s depressing with what’s complicated. The story of the listless Benjamin Braddock, recent graduate of Williams College, who begins an affair with his father’s partner’s wife, and ends up falling for her daughter, did more to advance the critical value of comedy than perhaps any other film. (Not to mention the sexual viability of Williams grads.) There may be no more iconic line than Dustin Hoffman’s “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce” but this movie is so much more than dialogue. (Note: Hoffman might have been playing 21 when he said this line, but the actor was 29; Anne Bancroft, the supposedly senior Mrs. Robinson, was all of 35.) Oft-quoted, ripped off, referenced, and discussed, Mike Nichols’s 1967 romp through Braddock’s postcollegiate uncertainties was released a few months after the Summer of Love, as the counterculture had peaked and what Hunter S. Thompson called the “high and beautiful wave” was getting ready to roll back. Young America was, and to some extent still is, Benjamin Braddock, which reveals the power of this film.

. . . to ask for assistance in the ol’ love department:

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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Tom Hanks had been responsible for some ’80s hits—Splash and Big—but with Nora Ephron’s 1993 film about a widower whose son calls in to a radio show in an attempt to find him a new wife, he cemented himself as America’s favorite, well, person. Meg Ryan, his competition for that title (at least in the ’90s), plays an unhappily engaged Baltimore Sun reporter who writes Hanks’s character on a whim, asking him to meet her at the top of the Empire State Building (cue: An Affair to Remember) on Valentine’s Day. Utterly contrived, but utterly charming, this quick, silly, funny film is pabulum superfood for anyone who believes in second chances and true love.

. . . to leave the past behind you:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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No one has stolen more hearts than Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn). Based on Truman Capote’s 1958 (harsher) novella of the same name, Breakfast at Tiffany’s—the story of a friendship struck between a rarely employed writer, Paul Varjak, and his neighbor, the naïvely beautiful Golightly, a freewheeling party girl whose lifestyle is paid for by the rich suitors who surround her—is a building block of our Hollywood romantic fantasies. It has the unclassifiable, magnetic object of affection, the reliable underdog who pursues her, expectations dashed, new friendships formed, true selves discovered, and an undeniably racist portrayal of an Asian landlord (by Mickey Rooney). Yes, it was a different era, but this detail can be difficult to ignore. That said, there are generations of viewers who consider this the greatest rom-com of all time.

. . . to get past that one little (or gigantic) flaw:

Moonstruck (1987)

Cher plays a widowed bookkeeper in Brooklyn Heights confronting her parents’ infidelity (and fallibility) who—whoops!—falls for her fiancé’s younger brother (Nicolas Cage), who sports a prosthetic wooden hand after an accident with a bread slicer. Their first night together produces one of the great moments in the annals of rom-coms: When Cage tells Cher he loves her, she slaps him, saying “Snap out of it!” The film portrays a New York that doesn’t really exist anymore—for one thing, Brooklyn Heights is full of bankers now. It’s a window to another time, when marriage meant something different in male-dominated second-generation immigrant families and the challenges Cher’s character places against the social order are both important and revelatory (she won an Oscar for her efforts). You end up cheering not just for her romance, but also for an entire insurgency.

. . . to put the fuckboys behind you:

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

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Hollywood does this silly, shitty thing when they want to make it clear that a woman is “funny”: They make her clumsy. “Did you see that? She fell down in front of the boss she has a crush on while carrying many things! What a wit!” Thankfully, this film is actually funny, and so is Renée Zellweger, the titular Bridget Jones, who is 32 and a bit clumsy, and believes herself to be both a tad overweight and running short of romantic options. She confesses to her diary her feelings about the men in her life: her caddish colleague, Daniel (Hugh Grant), and her pill of a childhood friend, Mark Darcy (if that surname sounds familiar from one of your favorite literary comedies, that’s not by coincidence), who begin vying for her hesitant affections in their respectively charmless ways. Who will win—the nice guy or the jerk? The clumsy, funny, openhearted girl, of course! The story has a classic but important lesson to share: First impressions aren’t everything (and a fashion-related takeaway—never judge a man by his Christmas sweater).

. . . to make you even more neurotic about your love life:

Annie Hall (1977)

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Like Breakfast at Tiffany’s, this is one of those movies that any list of top rom-coms would be remiss without. Yes, Alvy Singer’s (Woody Allen) story about how he met, and then lost, and then maybe regained, the love of his life, Annie Hall (Diane Keaton), is a wonderfully funny underdog-meets-girl story. But Allen’s uniquely observational humor also introduced some pioneering tropes and storytelling devices to the annals of rom-coms. The moment his grade school classmates stand up and give short peaks into their future (“I used to be a heroin addict; now I’m a methadone addict”). Or when Alvy interrupts a pedantic professor in a movie line—lecturing his date on Marshall McLuhan—by bringing the actual Marshall McLuhan out from behind a sign to set the man straight. These established entirely new directions for comedy. Moreover, Allen’s confessional style and the monologue with which he begins telling his warts-and-all fictional tale established a new paradigm for romantic storytelling, one that continues to influence rom-coms today (same for Diane Keaton’s outfits, but that’s a topic for another list).

. . . to get you pumped up:

Bring It On (2000)

This is the pregame of romantic comedies. It’s a love story—between millennial hotties Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Bradford—packed into 98 minutes of jokes, rivalries, teen romance, and ridiculous cheers. (“Hate us ’cause we’re beautiful—well, we don’t like you either. We’re cheerleaders. We. Are. Cheerleaders!”) Some of us have defended this movie since it bowed (and then cartwheeled into an aerial walkover) in 2000 as a sharp appreciation of teen culture and teen cinema, both devoid of cynicism and long on wordplay. If you agree, welcome to the squad. If not, please keep in mind, “This is not a democracy; it’s a cheer-ocracy.”

. . . to take an break from yourself:

Roman Holiday (1953)

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There’s a wonderful moment in Roman Holiday—the story of a European princess, played by Audrey Hepburn, who tires of her duties and runs away from her handlers while visiting Rome—when Joe (Gregory Peck), a reporter showing her the city, puts his arm in the Mouth of Truth (a statue that supposedly bites off the hand of liars) and removes it with his hand missing. The princess screams—Hepburn was apparently not acting here—and then recovers. It’s a metaphoric yawp for all that a romantic comedy should be. It’s being taken by surprise, taken by a stranger, the discovery a new side of oneself while falling for someone else. And that’s just one moment!

. . . to get him into rom-coms:

The Princess Bride (1987)

“Is this a kissing book?” Fred Savage’s little boy asks his grandfather, at his bedside to read him The Princess Bride when he’s home sick from school. Sure is, but it’s also a tale of swashbuckling, cruel kings, giants, swordsmen, poison, monsters, rebels, and knights—without a dull or unfunny moment. The kid, and the viewer, is quickly on board. More than anything, it’s a tale of true love, and fantastic as it might be, the adventure that leads the stable boy, Westley, back to his mistress, Buttercup (played by an impossibly beautiful Robin Wright), has left few hearts unmoved, and few faces without with smiles.

. . . to consider what you could have done differently:

Groundhog Day (1993)

One of the few rom-coms that comes with both a stamp of approval from your philosophy professor and the Tony reaches of Broadway. A cynical Pittsburgh weatherman (Bill Murray) is sent to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, with his producer, Rita (Andie MacDowell) on a dead-end assignment: to cover Groundhog Day. And boy, is it a dead end. Murray gets stuck there, not just in a snowstorm, mind you, but in a continuous loop where no matter what he does—including suicide—he wakes up in the same hotel, on the same day. At first, the weatherman is predictably bummed, but eventually he uses all the information he’s picked up living the same day over and over to better himself and the lives of those around him, eventually impressing Rita with his change of personality. Watching Bill Murray is fun, watching Bill Murray struggle is really fun, and watching Bill Murray caught in a space-time logjam, wrestling with moral philosophy while pursuing Andie MacDowell is the most fun.

. . . to find “our song”:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008)

Entertainment Pictures / Alamy Stock Photo

There’s something almost quaint about Norah’s search for her orgasm. The high schooler, played by Kat Dennings, is demeaned by her fellow classmates for having yet to experience the big O. It may sound tawdry, yet this plot point harkens back to a sweeter, John Hughes–era teen comedy (with a few switches flipped) wherein the search for a simple sex act was enough motivation for a number of scenes, if not an entire film. Norah’s lack of fulfillment isn’t what moves the action here; instead we’re on a search for her best friend and an oh-so-cool band’s secret show, with Nick’s (Michael Cera) hapless band, in his hapless car (a Yugo), through downtown New York City’s music scene. It’s a good-time flick, with cheerful performances and the kind of supporting cast (Ari Graynor as the beyond-drunk best friend) that make 90 minutes seem like a brisk 30. One of these is Alexis Dziena, who plays Nick’s very recent ex-girlfriend: She toyed with him and never appreciated the music mixes he made for her (spoiler: Norah loves them). Her “sexy” dance, in the glaring light of Nick’s high beams, to Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” is one of the great falls from grace, and worth the price of admission.

. . . to inspire some big changes:

Pretty Woman (1990)

Is there a rom-com list that doesn’t include this movie? What’s left to say about the 1990 tale of the beautiful, charming prostitute and the Wall Street corporate raider who meet and fall in love? Here’s director Garry Marshall’s (and Julia Roberts and Richard Gere’s) genius with this film: They make us forget about the various horrors of sex work and instead convince us the whole thing is kind of a lark. This film takes place in the late 1980s; a high-water mark in terms of the HIV crisis. Those things aren’t on our minds when we watch this movie (barring an early scene discussing methods of birth control); we think about stomping divots and Richard Gere conquering his fear of heights. So what? The Great Escape doesn’t exactly feature the horrors of World War II. That’s not the story they’re telling. Exactly our point. That’s how delightful this movie is.

. . . to make your arguments a little sweeter:

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

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Here’s how cute rom-coms were in the 1930s: The entire plot rests on a dog burying a bone of a brontosaurus. Katharine Hepburn, whom the movie was written for, plays a whimsical, adorable socialite who has become besotted with an otherwise engaged (literally and figuratively) paleontologist, played by Cary Grant, and is trying to keep him around so he won’t go marry some pill. Her strategy for doing this is to invite him to her house so that he can help her bring a baby leopard to the city. (Later, the dog and the leopard wrestle.) This is what we call a screwball comedy. It’s also priceless, with Hepburn peppering Grant in her sweet, Gatling gun style, and Grant, playing stiff, as if any man, never mind a mild-mannered paleontologist, could ever resist such wiles.

. . . to make it a girls night:

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Why is there no actual Shakespeare on this list? Because often a three-hour production: (1) is rarely funny, and (2) doesn’t really fit into a modern romantic comedy structure. Instead, we have movies that are actually fun to watch, like Shakespeare in Love, and this one, a teen-ready take on The Taming of the Shrew. There are some cute turns from youngsters Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Julia Stiles, and Larisa Oleynik, but ask most women and the performance that sticks out is Heath Ledger’s, whose thuggish Patrick Verona made many of us weak in the knees. Like Bring It On, and unlike most films, especially teen films, this one is female focused. They’re the moral centers. The heroes we cheer for. And they are active in as much as the narrative as they are subject to it (rare!).

. . . to better understand your parents:

Beginners (2011)

“The History of Sadness” is a sketchbook drawn by Ewan McGregor’s Oliver, a graphic designer who is dealing with the recent coming out of his septuagenarian father, Hal (Christopher Plummer—who won an Oscar for his performance). Hal’s new openness about his own life inspires Oliver to reevaluate his own sadness and pursue a lovely French actress, Anna. It’s an incredibly touching, difficult story, told mostly in flashback, that involves Oliver coming to grips with his father’s past, his parents’ relationship, his own choices, and his art. But it’s ultimately a love story. A story about how our parents love us, and each other—despite the difficulties imposed society, time, and work—and how in turn, we learn to love, or not. We’re all beginners, in all our loves, and to think otherwise is foolhardy.

. . . to freeze some already cold feet:

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Millennials might not realize from Adam Sandler’s recent descent into perennial schlock (some of it racist and sexist)—like The Ridiculous 6, Blended, Jack and Jill, and Grown Ups—that his movies were, at one point, very funny. Billy Madisonand Happy Gilmore are ’90s classics, and The Wedding Singer, his only rom-com from that era (there’s some debate over whether P. T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love, released in 2002, qualifies as such), is a hilarious, touching ode to traditional values. Set in the ’80s, Sandler’s Robbie Hart is a wedding singer (and hopeless romantic) recently left at the altar who helps Drew Barrymore’s Julia plan her wedding to the wrong man. Sandler and Barrymore’s chemistry is off the charts, and this film—not Mad Love, sorry—established the actress as rom-com gold (see Never Been Kissed, 50 First Dates, and Fever Pitch). The romance is great, the jokes are great, the costumes are great, and not to ruin anything, but Billy Idol is pretty great too.

. . . to get you singing and dancing (and maybe moving to L.A.):

La La Land (2016)

The highway scene. Ryan Gosling hunkered over the piano. Emma Stone embodying “irrepressible.” His dance on the boardwalk. Her spins. The way she pulls at her dress. The way he grins while he smolders. Their love. It’s a panacea for the reasons we go to the movies. At no point do we believe they won’t end up together, but we stay transfixed, in fact we tap along. For younger viewers—those of us who might not have drank down the moving magic of Singin’ in the Rain, West Side Story, or Gigi—Damien Chazelle’s La La Land forgives those lapses. It embraces their greatness as it embraces us in its giant, vibrant arms. We lean closer to the screen, not to learn but to feel for the whole experience of youth and performance: all that hope, drive, sweat, and love. Can’t forget love.

. . . to kick-start your career goals:

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

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Here’s the thing: You’re not really allowed to like La La Land if you don’t like Singin’ in the Rain. Or, you at least have to watch it; it’s the original musical about making it in Hollywood. The story of a sellout leading man (Gene Kelly) who falls for the chorus girl (Debbie Reynolds) who might just change his life (and he hers), this 1950s romp through 1920s Hollywood really has it all: singing, dancing, and bedrock songs like “Make ’Em Laugh,” “Good Morning,” and of course, “Singin’ in the Rain.” It’s cute as hell and tap-happy to the extreme.

. . . to unplug from the office (and get your due):

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

The movie that inspired 90 percent of vacation hookup jokes since 1998 (but seriously, we need to talk about Taye Diggs in a puka shell necklace; the man can make anything look good). Workaholic executive and single mom Stella (Angela Bassett) finds more than she bargains for when her best friend, played by Whoopi Goldberg, convinces her to take a much-deserved Caribbean vacation. Cheeky, subversive, and sexy as hell, this movie turned the tables on so many male-dominated rom-coms (courtesy of one very hot and heavy matchup between Bassett and Diggs, playing some 20 years her junior)—and passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. One of the very few rom-coms to do so.

. . . to get dressed up for:

Tootsie (1982)

Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is a New York actor who is such a perfectionist, no one wants to work with him. So he does what any rational man would do: He dresses as an entirely different person—an older woman who goes by then name of Tootsie—and lands a role on a soap opera where he becomes a sensation. Problems arise when he falls in love with his costar (Jessica Lange) and a fellow castmate, an older man, falls in love with him. It’s madcap and zany but also profoundly funny, with insights aplenty—it sends up television, sexism, and New York society—and performances that were Oscar-worthy (Lange’s in particular—of Tootsie’s 10 Oscar nominations, she’s the only one who walked away with a statue).

. . . to reevaluate the nice guy (and the bad boy):

Something Wild (1986)

Before Johnathan Demme decided to win an Oscar and scare the pants off an entire generation with The Silence of the Lambs, he was an ’80s funnyman. And this is his best work. It’s the story of a mild-mannered exec (played by Jeff Daniels), whose sedentary life is turned upside down by the wildly adventurous, somewhat grifting Lulu (Melanie Griffith)—whose checkered past includes a roustabout, criminal ex-boyfriend played by Ray Liotta. The idea of a “crazy” girl coming in and turning a straight man’s existence topsy-turvy is repeated countless times in this genre, from Bringing Up Baby to The Girl Next Door. Demme’s alchemy here is to infuse the trope with unpredictability. The comedy keeps us on the edge of our seats by compounding the will-they-won’t-they question with sudden breaks into violence, threats, or chase. Rom-coms don’t get more exciting than this.

. . . to escape it all:

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Sony Pictures Classics/courtesy Everett Collection

The love story here is as much between writer-flaneur Gil Pender and Paris as it is between Gil and any of the women in this film. While visiting the French capital with his uptight fiancée, Inez (a sublime Rachel McAdams), and her parents, each night Gil goes walking and finds himself in the City of Light of the 1920s, complete with Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, the Fitzgeralds, Man Ray, Josephine Baker, Cole Porter . . . and a beautiful woman named Adriana (Marion Cotillard). It’s a writer’s fantasy made real (Stein volunteers to read his novel), but it’s also Woody Allen at his most effective: taking the vicissitudes of relationships and turning them into a mirthful, if neurotic, journey. This one just happens to also navigate through another time and place as well. And a beautiful one, at that. There’s a reason this is Allen’s highest-grossing film of all time.

. . . to escape the friend zone:

When Harry Met Sally. . . (1989)

If this list were a top 20 instead, this film would still be on it. Same with top 10—and five. It’s in the running for the best rom-com of all time because it is sassy, sultry, snappy, cinematic perfection, thanks to words from Nora Ephron and direction from Rob Reiner. It’s something of an epic of the genre, spanning over 10 years of the kind of friendship (between Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal’s characters) where no one can help but ask, “Why aren’t those two together?” Should friends ever sleep together? If they do, what happens next? This movie should be watched by every college student on the planet. Bonus: Watch this movie with a boyfriend, and pay attention to what happens to his face during Meg Ryan’s most famous scene, in which she illustrates just how easy it is for a woman to fake an orgasm.

. . . to unite with your crew:

Bridesmaids (2011)

Who ever thought getting food poisoning in a wedding dress could be so funny? Bridesmaids is as much a buddy comedy (think Old School or Twins) as it is a rom-com, proving that female actors can be just as bawdy and into gross-out humor as their male counterparts in The Hangover. This is about the love between friends, yes, and the agony that comes with maturing at different paces, but what ultimately drives the film is the desire of Annie (Kristen Wiig, who also wrote the script, with Annie Mumolo) to catch up. This movie isn’t as much about what we have as about what we’re missing, and how a wedding can bring that to the fore. Along with nonstop laughs, we get a powerhouse performance from Wiig—even as Melissa McCarthy steals the show.

. . . to remind you that guys will try anything:

There’s Something About Mary (1998)

Before we had a president who bragged openly about grabbing women “by the pussy”, this is what qualified as a gross-out film. Amid scenes of semen being used as hair gel and testicles jammed in zippers, the Farrelly Brothers managed to concoct an amiable story about a nerdy Ted (Ben Stiller) hiring a private detective to find Mary (Cameron Diaz), the object of his unrequited love in high school. Despite the over-the-top locker-room gags, the movie has virtually no sex, and manages to emerge as hilarious, sweet, and satisfying.

. . . to make up your mind, dammit:

Manhattan (1979)

Elephant in the room: Yes, this is Woody Allen pursuing a high school student (a luminous Mariel Hemingway). It was also made in 1979, and that didn’t carry quite the same connotations as it does now. The year is important, because as the film’s title suggests, this movie is as much about New York as it is about the lovers who collide inside of it (Allen’s character, Isaac, begins the film dating the high schooler, but leaves her for his friend’s mistress, played by Diane Keaton). In the mid-to-late 1970s, New York was a bit of a cesspool: Crime was out of control, repeated requests for federal aid were denied, and the city was on the edge of bankruptcy. It’s in the wake of this tumult that Allen pens his black-and-white love note to his fair city. The film opens with a montage of New York’s skyline and street scenes, revealed to “Rhapsody in Blue,” and Allen’s voice-over as Isaac, writing about his romantic love for the city. That’s where he gets us with this film; Allen crystalizes the outsize feelings that can swell with romance, despite any and all evidence that should temper them. It’s a movie about indecision, bad choices, and falling for the wrong people, but it celebrates the impetus for all of these. We love the things we shouldn’t. That’s life. That’s Manhattan.

. . . to know if he’s worth the trouble:

Say Anything. . . (1989)

If for no other reason, you need to see this movie so you’ll understand what it means when someone holds a ghetto blaster over his head outside the window of the woman he loves. Like most of the teen romance flicks on this list, Say Anything. . . doesn’t end at the Big Dance. This movie, from director Cameron Crowe (and produced by James L. Brooks) is far too sophisticated for such a middling finale. It’s too busy diving into the angsty, all-consuming, awkward challenge that is young love, as embodied by consummate underdog Lloyd Dobler and his attempts to woo the beautiful valedictorian Diane Court.

. . . to get him back:

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

If The 40-Year-Old Virgin was evidence that Steve Carell could be a romantic lead, this was the proof. Alongside Julianne Moore, as the cheating wife he wants to win back, and with Ryan Gosling, who plays his cad coach, as well with a terrific performance from a teenage son who loves his babysitter, who in turn loves his nice-guy dad, Carell is well matched. Throw in Kevin Bacon as a romantic rival and Emma Stone as a law student just out of Gosling’s reach, and we’re ready to go. It’s a comedy that’s as much about accepting the facts of life—be they middle age, the people we can’t have, or the people we don’t want others involved with—as much as it is about a pursuit, or any one relationship. It’s about how love really is, sometimes, which can be romantic in its own right.

. . . to fall in love with literature:

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

People forget about the competition Shakespeare faced, and we don’t mean the other plays. In the late 1500s, one could go to the theater, or one could go watch some people be executed or a bear be torn apart by dogs. That’s how entertaining Shakespeare’s work had to be! In 1998, this film competed with Saving Private Ryan, Elizabeth, and Life Is Beautiful for Best Picture and managed to come out with the Oscar. What drew the academy to the fast-paced mash-up of Romeo and Juliet with a very loosely interpreted history of William Shakespeare’s life was the film’s ability to capture exactly what Shakespeare did back in his day: the urgency of love and the power of its expression—its ability to consume us and change lives.

. . . to tell your real friends from the sham ones:

Muriel’s Wedding (1994)

Everett Collection (13649)

Muriel (Toni Collette), a daydreamer and the target of the bitchy girls she considers her friends, wants nothing more than to get out of her small town and away from her awful father, move to Sydney, and get married. When she makes off with her parents’ savings, reunites with a fellow outcast from her town, and is offered the chance to marry a gorgeous South African swimmer who needs a visa, she can make her dreams come true. As much of a coming-of-age story as a rom-com (Muriel may be in her 20s, but she has much growing up to do), this film does a brilliant job of cutting the legs out from underneath our expectations by giving us exactly what we’ve always wanted, and tying us up in the strings attached.

. . . to relive high school (or what you wish high school was like):

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

Netflix’s most popular entry into the rom-com genre (based on the novel by Jenny Han) was for many an instant classic—not least for blessing the world with Peter Kavinsky (Noah Centineo), the Jake Ryan of the Internet era. Lana Condor stars as Lara Jean, a quiet high school kid who relieves her romantic pressures by writing never-to-be-mailed love letters to the objects of her affection—including her older sister’s ex-boyfriend. Until, of course, one night they get sent out. Hijinks—and a fake turned not-so-fake relationship—ensue.

. . . to remind you how much better it gets after high school:

American Pie (1999)

A teen sex comedy with a heart of gold, this story of four high school friends determined to have sex before they graduate was the surprise hit of 1999. But underneath all the masturbating with pastry and accidentally ingested semen cocktails, there’s real sentiment to the adolescent boys trying to find their way with women, and vice versa. The reason we can safely call this a rom-com is that, while it doesn’t exactly pass the Bechdel test with flying colors, the objects of the guys’ affections are far from just objects. They have goals of their own we’re brought on board with. The girls aren’t just out for the boys, they’re out for themselves—as disappointingly rare in a rom-com as it is in a teen comedy, and the reason we love this one.

. . . to learn how far to take it:

Rushmore (1927)

This is Wes Anderson’s most completely stylish movie, and perhaps his best, made before stylized fuckery got in the way of things like writing (like all his best work, this was cowritten with Owen Wilson). Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is a scholarship student at a private school. His academics are dismal, but he’s game for any and all extracurriculars, especially the over-the-top plays he produces and directs. He gets into a contest for the affections of a widowed first grade teacher with local industrialist, and his newfound mentor, Herman Blume (Bill Murray). Several phenomenal executions come together in this film, including the ensemble cast, the just-on-this-side of believable production design, and an absolutely killer classic rock soundtrack. But what pushes it above the rest is the utter drive of both Max and Herman, as love and competition gains primacy over every aspect of their lives. They’re both willing to burn the village to save it, which is simultaneously hilarious to watch and cathartic to anyone who’s ever had a crush.

. . . to locate your other half:

Jerry Maguire (1996)

Cameron Crowe has a couple of films on this list (Almost Famous was close, but ultimately more coming-of-age than comedy) with good reason: He understands people and how they tick. Despite its memorably demonstrative, over-the-top lines, like “You complete me,” and “Show me the money,” this is ultimately a movie about how people really fall in love. Sure, Renée Zellweger loves Tom Cruise from the beginning—it’s a movie after all, and he is Tom Cruise—but what Jerry Maguire gets to is what happens after that first kiss, after the honeymoon period, when we have to learn about the other person as a person, and not just see them and their adorable puppy (or in this case, an adorable son, played by Jonathan Lipnicki) as an escape or alternative from our own lives.

. . . for a dose of realism (and Paris!)

Two Days in Paris (2007)

For sheer hilarious, messy, complicated realism, Two Days in Paris takes the prize. The brilliant and surprising Julie Delpy writes, directs, and stars as Marion, a young Frenchwoman who has brought her American boyfriend Jack (Adam Goldberg) to her hometown en route from a trip to Venice. They struggle through misunderstandings, language barriers, cultural clashes, encounters with Marion’s many ex-boyfriends, and her unruly parents (played by Delpy’s real-life mother and father, actors Marie Pillet and Albert Delpy,) and barely come out the other side. The moral, as Marion paraphrases Jack: “It’s not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage.” It may not be easy, but it’s highly entertaining to watch them try.

. . . to get you through the holidays:

Love Actually (2003)

Is this? Not really. But that’s not why we go to the movies. Love Actually is, actually, a rather clichéd Christmas rom-com, but jeez, we love it anyway. How can we not, with this ensemble cast of British romance all-stars (Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, and Keira Knightley, among others)? The prime minister (Grant) falling for a junior staff member? A quiet suitor in love with the new bride (Knightley) of his best bud (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who is apparently one of three people of color in London? A cuckolded boyfriend (Firth) rebuilding his shattered life with the help of his shy housekeeper? Balderdash. All of it. But it’s irresistible. Come on, what are you, made of stone?

. . . to fall for his funny bone:

Top Five (2014)

Think of it as Before Sunset meets Funny People, with New York taking the place of Paris. If that notion produces a little eye roll, get those peepers back down, and then on to the screen before you miss some laughs. Rosario Dawson plays a New York Times journalist tasked with interviewing a hugely famous comedian, played by Chris Rock, who is attempting to take his career in a new direction (courtesy of an ill-advised serious film about a Haitian revolutionary). Like Roman Holidaybefore it, this is a film rooted in our society’s placement of, and expectations for, certain figures (a celebrity and a princess, respectively). In both cases, the journalist finds the human being inside of their famous subject, falling for them while trying not to fall for their shtick, or what they represent. As the pair make their way through Manhattan—with visits from Jerry Seinfeld, radio hosts Opie and Anthony, Whoopi Goldberg, and a fantastic supporting job from the ageless Gabrielle Union, playing a reality TV starlet—we can’t help but get on board with their journey.

. . . to look past his neurotic, potentially mentally ill exterior:

As Good as It Gets (1997)

There are few actors who can go toe-to-toe with Jack Nicholson. Director James L. Brooks found a suitable sparring partner with Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment and struck gold again nearly 15 years later with Helen Hunt. Hunt plays a waitress with a sick child for whom Nicholson—a mean, racist, homophobic, obsessive-compulsive writer and her regular customer in the restaurant where she waits tables—has some affection. Bring in Nicholson’s neighbor, a gay artist (played by Greg Kinnear) who has to lean on the Nicholson’s character for help (beginning with care for his adorable dog), add a road trip, and you’ve got yourself one of the most delightful, well-thought-out comedies of the ’90s. The movie takes it time, but it’s to our benefit—Brooks allows us to get to know each of these people, and them each other, intimately, which means when the jokes, and the romance, land, they land hard, and then stay around. (Plus, who among us could resist Nicholson growling, “You make me wanna be a better man”?)

. . . to confirm that, yeah, he’s probably cheating:

Shampoo (1975)

Courtesy Everett Collection

There’s a lot going on in Shampoo—the story of an L.A. hairdresser (Warren Beatty) who is sleeping with, well, everyone (including Julie Christie, who plays a prime target of his affections)—which, at first glance, could just be another ’70s sex comedy. Keep in mind, it’s directed by Hal Ashby, the king of thoughtful, offbeat romances, and was both written by and featured, Warren Beatty, a major voice of the Hollywood Left in the 1970s. The film, released a year after Nixon’s downfall, takes place during on the eve of Nixon’s election in 1968, so there’s a good deal of interplay between the politics and the sexual politics that were in the air as the counterculture died, the pill became mainstream, and the country saw itself in a whole new, darker light. That said, Beatty’s portrayal of the harried, discursive, libidinous George is irresistible even without context, as is the performance given by a young Goldie Hawn, who illuminates every frame—and perfectly counteracts Beatty—with blonde California light, and a heart-melting, downy innocence.

. . . to get you on board with AI:

WALL-E (2008)

There are more epic Disney romances (one of them is on this list), but none more thoughtful. What we love about this futuristic tale of a little trash compactor, WALL-E, who falls in love with his technological better, EVE, is the considered environmental, anti-consumerist message that suffuses the dystopian love story. With barely a word, only whirrs, between them, EVE and WALL-E convincingly fall in love. His efforts to save her, once the megacorporation Buy-n-Large (their maker) comes for her, is as authentic as Hawkeye’s return for Cora, or Jack’s sacrifice for Rose. Forget Finding Nemo, this is writer-director Andrew Stanton’s Pixar masterpiece.

. . . to justify your May-December romance:

Harold and Maude (1971)

Courtesy Everett Collection

There’s a question that lingers throughout most of Harold and Maude—the story of a death-obsessed young man (he enjoys driving a hearse, attending funerals, and faking his suicide) who falls for a much, much older woman—are these two going to get it on? It sounds sophomoric, but it’s actually essential. Harold and Maude are separated by approximately 60 years; for the movie to hit home, for us to believe that love is truly about what we share, not what we look like or other aesthetic values, we have to believe a genuine attraction has formed. No one prodded existentialism (especially in films deemed “romantic”) like director Hal Ashby, and Harold and Maude is no exception. The darkly funny tale will leave you questioning just what is important to you in your own conception of love—and, moreover, in your life.

. . . to give comic books their due:

Chasing Amy (1997)

A comic book artist (Ben Affleck) with an inseparable best friend (Jason Lee) falls for a beautiful gay girl (Joey Lauren Adams)—who then falls for him—only to discover he can’t handle it. Comic books? Lesbian conversion? Best buds? Sounds like a romantic comedy made by men, for men. And it is! But Kevin Smith also managed a somewhat nuanced exploration of friendship and art, as well as of contemporary romantic standards in his rejiggering of the love triangle. Simultaneously, at a time when every other joke on Friends involved gay panic, he was portraying three-dimensional concepts of lesbian identity. What could be identified as a typical male-driven fantasy could also be seen as a ’90s Torrents of Spring.

. . . to make you fall in love with your friends:

Reality Bites (1994)

In what was then a cult hit and is now a piece of ’90s nostalgia catnip, a post–Edward Scissorhands (and post–Johnny Depp) Winona Ryder plays Lelaina, an aspiring documentarian assisting an obnoxious TV host in Houston. She and grungy, Generation X friends—played by Steve Zahn, Janeane Garofolo, and a simmering Ethan Hawke (who may be more than just a friend)—are just trying to figure out who they are, and what they want in life. In Ben Stiller’s feature directorial debut, he also plays a TV executive whose budding romance with Lelaina and interest in her work brings the real world crashing into their postcollegiate hipster existence. Aside from a nonstop ’90s fashion buffet that is Winona’s wardrobe (mom jeans, crop tops, baby doll dresses, cardigans, men’s shirts, blazers), there’s also love and heartbreak, sex, betrayal, Lisa Loeb, Dickies, pizza, and lines like “He’s so cheesy, I can’t watch him without crackers.” What else do we want, really?

. . . to dance your troubles away:

Grease (1978)

The ’50s nostalgia of the 1970s culminated with this unreal musical about the return to high school for summer lovers Danny Zuko (John Travolta) and Sandy Olsson (Olivia Newton-John). It’s hard for current viewers to understand just how big John Travolta was at the time; the year this film bowed, 1978, the two top-selling albums were the soundtracks to Saturday Night Fever (another Travolta film) and this one. And that was in a year when the Rolling Stones released Some Girls and Bruce Springsteen dropped Darkness on the Edge of Town. In this irresistibly playful film, Travolta embodies the bursting sexuality of the newly emerged teen culture, but at the same time, he’s a tampered-down throwback—we buy him drag racing cars and singing with his gang, the T-Birds, whose rivals are the Scorpions, and making clumsy moves at the drive-in. Similarly, the Pink Ladies, a popular clique headed by Rizzo (Stockard Channing), deliver their wiseacre lines with a fair dose of irony. These skirts know what’s up, and that’s what makes us interested, and invested, in their outcomes. We’re locked in from the first frame: There may be better musicals, but none more fun.

. . . to get you through wedding season:

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

For anyone who’s ever been encumbered by the beautiful, annoying, expensive ordeal that is a wedding, how can we not love a wedding movie whose first pages of dialogue are just the word Fuck? As much as we commiserate, this is ultimately Hugh Grant’s movie. And a little Andie MacDowell’s movie. But mostly Hugh Grant’s. It’s the film that introduced us to his stumbling, bumbling, yet confident Etonian charms and wit, which we’d witness again and again in Nine Months, Notting Hill, Music and Lyrics, About a Boy, and more). The story of Grant and his friends attending their friends’ weddings—and one funeral—perfectly captured the romance of nuptials as well as all the stress, commitment, and emotional . . . what do the British call it? . . . oh yes, bother that comes with that period in your life where your friends are tying the knot. The question this rom-com dares ask is this: In all this wedding madness, can you be the odd man out and still be happy?

. . . to find your prince:

Coming to America (1988)

It’s unfair that Eddie Murphy only has one entry on this list. The guy ruled the ’80s and made some of the era’s great comedies—Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hrs.—but this is really the only one where the romance narrative rules supreme. In short: Murphy plays the prince of a fictional African nation who is unsure about his arranged marriage, and so heads to what he suspects will be greener pastures in search of his queen. So where better to start that Queens, New York? Essentially slumming it with his best friend (a terrific Arsenio Hall), Murphy’s character finds work at a McDonald’s-type restaurant where he falls in love with the owner’s daughter, a woman who just might fit the bill. It’s a super simple story that elicits big laughs in every scene, but it’s also a clever send-up of class and race that simultaneously owns itself as perhaps the ultimate Reaganite comedy: If you are rich and follow your heart, you can be even richer!

…remind you that life doesn’t always go as planned, but sometimes that’s okay.

Juno (2007)

Life’s not perfect, but it can be most endearing— that’s the takeaway, anyway, from Jason Reitman’s nuanced teen comedy, Juno. Ellen Page gives her breakout performance as the titular pregnant-by-accident teen who soldiers on through high school while preparing to give her baby up for adoption to a painfully needy rich couple (or “baby-starved wingnuts,” as her father calls them.) Juno’s honesty and her backward love story with the adorably nerdy Paulie (Micheal Cera) reminds us of the true meaning of being cool, and that heartache can resolve itself into a tender, resilient future.

. . . to get your boss’s job:

Working Girl (1988)

First, consider the cast: Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford—who owned the ’80s in Hollywood and made this his only rom-com—Sigourney Weaver, Joan Cusack, Oliver Platt, Alec Baldwin (at his douchiest), and Kevin Spacey. Next, look at the director: Mike Nichols—if there is a pantheon for romantic films, he probably has Zeus’s seat. Finally, the shoulder pads; my god, the shoulder pads. Were doorways made wider in the 1980s? Adventures in Babysitting aside, this movie is really as feminist as mainstream movies got in the ’80s. Melanie Griffith plays Tess McGill, a wily business school graduate working as a secretary at an investment bank with such memorable one-liners as “I have a head for business and a bod for sin.” When her boss (Weaver) steals her idea for a merger and then ends up out of commission (temporarily bedridden after a ski accident), Tess rises to the occasion: scheming with the support of her friends and maybe-lover (Ford), conniving, flirting, and using some good old-fashioned elbow grease to outwit her superiors, beat the boys, and claim the position she’s rightfully earned. Griffith is miraculous (one critic compared her to Marilyn Monroe; younger viewers might see a mold for Alicia Silverstone’s Cher), taking a role that could have just been “cute” and elevating it to nuanced and beguiling. That’s what this film is—so much so, we’ll forgive you if, after watching it, you suddenly have a soft spot for shoulder pads.

(C)

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