#audiobook appreciation month
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AM supporting pride month
Day 122
#am ihnmaims#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims#ihnmaims am#shittyamdaily#allied master computer#allied mastercomputer#men’s mental health#pride month#lgbt pride#queer pride#happy pride 🌈#mens mental health#cancer survivors month#alzheimers#alzheimers awareness month#cancer#gun violence#gun violence awareness month#immigrants#immigrant heritage month#psa#antiphospholipid antibody syndrome#antiphospholipid antibody syndrome awareness month#audiobooks#audiobook appreciation month#cancer immunotherapy awareness month#immunotherapy#ptsd#june
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Audiobook Appreciation Month: Drama CDs and Other Forms
Drama CDs Japanese comics called manga are popular. In addition to buying volumes of manga, readers can get drama CDs. These CDs have voice actors who dialogue and sound effects from the manga. These CDs bridge the gap between audiobook and anime. There’s also audio dramas which can be side stories, parody stories, or a fusion. These may be stories that never appeared in the original manga or…
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#Apps#ASMR#ASMR Streamer#ASMR Streamers#ASMR Youtuber#ASMR Youtubers#ASMRtist#ASMRtists#audiobook#Audiobook Appreciation#Audiobook Appreciation Month#Audiobook Community#audiobooks#Blog#Book Community#Book Reading#Book Readings#Book Streaming#Book Streaming Service#Books#Books are Awesome#Books Books Books#Books empower us#Books should be accessible#CD#CDs#Drama CD#Drama CDs#Encourage Reading#Fiction
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June is Audiobook Appreciation Month! Check out Audiobooks with your Dorr Library card on your phone through Libby and Hoopla or stop into the library to check out CD Audiobooks!
#Audiobooks#audiobook#audiobook appreciation#audiobook appreciation month#libby#hoopla#hoopla digital#dorr township library
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i think in a celebrity au isabeau/mirabelle could be a singer duo while sif ghostwrites the lyrics for their songs
#my thought process for this was mainly: sif's narration is pretty poetic sometimes -> sif might have an interest in literature or writing#but sif doesn't like reading (rip siffrin you would've loved audiobooks) so they wouldn't be writing books or anything#so what other ways are there to show off that poetic side in a medium that isn't read by the viewer. oh yeah song lyrics#but sif doesn't particularly give singer/celebrity vibes to me#he's more like a cryptid who only posts on social media once every few months and it's just pics of his black cat making funny shapes#idk. so who is there that gives celebrity vibes. isabeau and mirabelle...?!?!#isa loves the attention I think. he's in it for the singing mainly of course but he likes interacting w fans too#meanwhile mira doesn't really thrive in attention as much as isa but she likes to share her singing and she appreciates that people like it#uh. I forgot where I was going with this. anyways hey cool au idea. I like to imagine theres a group chat between those 3#n whenever there's a huge event or smth mira and isa are panicking and sending 30msgs/min while sif is unbothered n sending pics of his cat#in stars and time#isat#siffrin isat#isabeau isat#mirabelle isat#my ramblings#i really just put the whole post in the tags huh. ell em ay oh
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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if I had money, I would pay someone to rewrite heaven official's blessing, but lesbian. if I was rich, i'd pay someone to turn it into a whole manga
#lee text#i want strong beautiful hot woman hua cheng. i dont find him *that* interesting now tbh. but if he was hot girl....#im still aroace i promise. i just appreciate pretty girl fhjdjjsksks#in general i find strong cool mysterious etc girl characters more appealing#and the whole story would be fun to see as lesbian. how would that play out hmmmm#imagine men flirt with girl xie lian and girl hua cheng just hot girls his way onto their throats#yeah im aroace but id want woman hua cheng to be my fictional gf. cool strong mysterious woman who can protect you#but is also a bit of a pathetic wet dog sometimes. why is hua cheng kinda boring to me but if you change his gender id love him 🤣#i dont get it. i think its funny. where was i going with this???? i was goijg to say something else and went off track and now i forgot#anyway im still waiting for someone to turn the last book (i think thats all thats left?) into am audiobook#the one i was listening to isnt finished. the person hasnt uploaded any for like 5 months. the only other ones ive found are not finished#or they are read by ai robot goofle translate sounding voice and i cannot stand that shit lmao#its impossible to listen to. why would anyone do that.#i just want to finish it. let me finish it!!!!! i dont have the brain power to read it myself so i meed to listen
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i've been through the fucking ringer the past few months. engine blew on my car, paid 5 grand to put a new one in only to have the transmission blow as well. i am likely going to let the bank repossess the car.
i need some help. i've been carless for the entire summer and my job is starting again.
Any help fucking unbelievably appreciated. i'm kind of stuck and i have to get to and from work...i can't keep bumming rides if i could get a couple hundred bucks extra i could up my budget from like 1,500 to upwards of 2 grand. my entire paycheck is 1538 so even a tiny bit of wiggle room would help me get a vehicle. But I ALSO need to pay $625 to the shop, need to pay for a tow, need to pay bills… needless to say I need some help. sooooo if you’ve ever wanted to buy a book/do the pay what you can PDF option I would be incredibly grateful
Downloadable PDFS
Pay what you can:
Paypal: [email protected]
Cash app: $jonnybolduc125
Venmo: @Jonny-Bolduc
Physical book:
https://www.amazon.com/.../Jonny-Bolduc/author/B085LRJ7WZ...
And to be honest, if you’ve read one of my books, consider hyping it up to friends. Make some TikTok’s, try to get my work out there. I’ve never needed help more.
Sending love
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My mother recently passed away after a long period of fighting several chronic issues. She was 84. I lived with her as caregiver while also running my bookstore.
That took rather a toll on finances because I often needed to close unexpectedly on short notice to care for her. Plus her final expenses. Everything will be fine in six months once estate is settled but right now, OOF, that is a cash crunch on me. It's basically drained all my savings so if one more thing goes wrong, keeping store running becomes difficult.
I've run this store for 23 years, come February 1st. While I carry all types of books, my specialty is queer books. That Pride flag flies year round!
So I could use some support right now and as all The Everything is happening.
Come visit me in person! I'm at 81 Greenwood Ave. (route 302) in Bethel, CT. 11-6PM Tuesday through Friday. 10-5PM Saturdays (exvept Sat. feb. 8th 2025) I'm also within walking distance of the NYC Metro-North train station, Danbury line. There's two other bookstores within walking distance, so you can spend a whole day looking at books!
If you're not local, but have friends in the Southwestern Connecticut or New York/Connecticut border area, please let them know I exist!
If you want to recommend me to a friend or family member in area that doesn't use Tumblr I also have a Facebook account and an Instagram. I also send out a weekly email with some featured books, events going on in the Bethel & Danbury area, and a featured adoptable pet. See a sample email and signup.
If you're not local, I have my inventory online and you can get lots of weird, out of print queer books from small presses. Order some books!
If you need audiobooks, I also have a Libro.fm account. I get a small commission when you get your audiobook downloads or subscriptions through the link. If you're doing a new subscription, you get two additional books through the affiliate link.
I also am on Bookshop.org if you want to buy new books that I don't have. If you go through the link, OR set me as your "local" store, when you buy new books I get a little commission.
I run the book club for Pride here and you can see the upcoming picks on either the front page of the store or on the Bookshop.org page with the club picks. We alternate fiction and nonfiction each month and do a hybrid model where you can either come to in person on 3rd Saturday of month OR do a text only chat on that 3rd Friday & Saturday via Bethel Pride's discord. For text chat, just hop in and post in bookclub whenever your schedule allows! and respond to other folks.
I also host a monthly plant swap with Pride here on the second Saturday. EXCEPT THIS FEBRUARY 8th. I am away at a conference for running Pride events! I am off working on the gay agenda! So plant swap resumes in MARCH.
For plant swap, you can bring plants or take plants. You can drop off without taking more home and pickup without having brought any. It's indoor plants only til May, and then its time to get wild with outdoor pals.
And I really appreciate reblogs! you never know where your followers live and this may make them shriek like a pterodactyl because they never realized how close by a queer bookstore was to them! ROADTRIP TIME.
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So
I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia last week. It explains a lot about the way I’ve been feeling lately. I’m on a gradual return to work schedule of three half days per week, and I intend to give it my best shot..but…
So far it really just sucks.
I’m absolutely wiped out after three hours of teaching and it’s a good 24 hours afterwards before I even feel up to making a phone call or leaving the house to walk the dog. And forget doing the fucking dishes or cooking a decent meal. i can throw something premade into the microwave or oven and splash some dressing on some mixed lettuce and that’s it.
I can work three half days per week at the expense of literally everything else in my life, including hobbies and recreation and interacting with my friends. i don’t even wanna watch tv or listen to audiobooks.
When people try to comfort me, they tell me that things will improve. That this will become more manageable, even if i won’t exactly recover from it.
But I would actually find it more comforting if someone could tell me, with convincing evidence, that actually, I would be okay even if my health stayed the same as it is now. That there would be some relief, some way that I wouldn’t be forced to work a job that has gone from ‘ok but challenging’ to ‘debilitating and miserable’, some guarantee of a roof over my head and a reliable income without utterly destroying myself. But the more I look at Australia’s various disability support services, the less hope I have that I’d be considered eligible for anything.
There’s very much a black and white ‘can do this,’ ‘can’t do that’ approach to recognising disability. If I literally could not work, I could probably get a pension. But I can work, a bit. At a great cost. I can work but it makes my life seem barely worth living. ( I don’t particularly mean that in like a suicidal way, but just. It sucks, ya know? It sucks so bad.) There doesn’t seem to be much space for accommodating that, long-term.
Honestly, if I had income and housing sorted out, this would seem manageable, even if I never improved at all. I could get by on needing to rest more and take pain meds, and I would probably have enough time and energy to do the things I needed/wantedto do if I wasn’t spending it all on work. The prospect of having a permanent disability itself doesn’t scare me, it’s the fear of being trapped in an unforgiving system being bled dry with no relief in sight that horrifies me.
I’m lucky that I have family who would put me up if I made the choice not to work anymore. So I am grateful for that. But it does come at the cost of my independence and freedom, and comes with its own set of stresses, so it’s also not an ideal option.
I don’t really have a big point to make here. I just… yeah. That’s where I’m at right now. I haven’t felt like doing anything creative or fun since I went back to work. And I probably won’t again for a while. If I’m not responding to messages, or seem kind of flat and detached in my interactions with you… I’m sorry and I want you to know it’s not personal. i’m just a little fucked up right now is all.
I appreciate the community and friends I have here, so much. I want you all to know that, even if I’m less present here in the coming months. Love,
CT.
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Skull appreciation post (jumbled thoughts bc I just binged listening to the audiobook version of Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood & Co. series)
I love how powerful Skull is. But first, some parallels (and differences) between the Luce&Skull and the Marissa&Ezekiel duos.
Marissa found Ezekiel when she was young. She adores him. But she also fears him. Tbh it kinda seems like he took advantage of her. They bonded. Maybe Marissa was always curious about what was beyond life, but Ezekiel's been hanging around her since she was a young child, and all the research she did? All the actions that led to the Problem? She did all that under Ezekiel's advice and guidance.
And yes, Ezekiel's a Type 3, and sure he's got a golden aura, and oh he's so special, but at the end of the day, it's all just appearance.
Yes, he's powerful, fine, he's smart too, but when compared to the Skull n Lucy combo, he's an insecure Type 3 ghost who was honestly kinda creepy and predatory and took advantage/really tapped into/maybe even developed Marissa's curiosity about the other side. He throws his weight around about being dead and knowing what to do to escape death, clearly calls the shots in his relationship with Marissa, and has developed a god complex of sorts in thinking that because he knows how to blur the boundary between the living and the dead, he's the strongest thing around.
Well, thank goodness there's Skull to prove him wrong.
I LOVE the Skull-Lucy relationship. My favorite part (which is very important) is that Lucy didn't free Skull because she needed him, she freed him because she wanted to. She made her decision after Lockwood had come and helped get things in hand. Even though she was confident things were in hand and didn't know just how instrumental Skull would be in staying alive, she freed him without any condition imposed on him.
She didn't free him so long as he helped her.
She didn't free him so long as he didn't kill her or any of her friends.
She didn't free him out of a tenuous trust that he'd be on her side.
Lucy freed Skull (I think) because something that had been dawning on her this whole time really clicked into place: considering the origins of agents, dealing with ghosts, capturing their sources, and just in general interfering with the existence of the dead (thank you, Big M, for all that), combined with the fact that she got a taste of Skull's existence what with being trapped in the other world (as Skull pointed out), Lucy's sense of empathy took over and she did what she thought was right. She let Skull go because he's got an existence of his own, too.
He's not an abstract idea or apparition, no, he's Skull, a thin, sardonic looking youth with spiky hair. He's someone who in life was awful, but spent so much time in death that he forgot who he was, despite being so stubborn about clinging to life, coming back as a ghost, and NOT crossing over fully to the other *dead* dead place.
He's got personality and endless ideas about murder. He kept Lucy company for the four months she was apart from Lockwood. He became her friend. He helped her in scrapes. He guided her back to life the first time she crossed over.
Maybe the difference in the Marissa&Ezekiel and Lucy&Skull is circumstance: Marissa met Ezekiel out in the wild. It ways in TEG at one point that there's an aspect of fear in their dynamic. His source list contained, unlike Skull. Ezekiel can cause so much more harm to Marissa than Skull could when contained in the jar to Lucy throughout the time they spent together needed to develop a relationship.
But that's not the main thing. Marissa depends on Ezekiel. Lucy is fond of Skull, but depends? No.
Marissa is basically in love with Ezekiel. Lucy? She's got Lockwood. She doesn't need Skull on that front.
Marissa is literally obsessed with golden ghost boy. Lucy sees the wider picture. She likes Skull, but he's not the end all be all.
But going back to appearances, well that's kinda what it's all about, isn't it? Marissa cares deeply about her image. And so too does Ezekiel. Why doesn't she keep Skull? He's rude. Ezekiel thinks him a criminal. Neither can see past his exterior, thus completely missing out on just how powerful he is.
And then there's Skull.
For all that Skull jokes about killing George and (honestly kinda understandably) dislikes him, he sees him for what he is - an effective researcher who doesn't judge anyone for how they look or behave.
Skull sees people for who they are. He sees right through Marissa's disguise as Penelope (side note, it is SO messed up that Marissa offed both her daughter and her granddaughter to keep on living, like his awful is that). He's perceptive. He knows about Locklyle even before they do.
But back to Skull's strength, which was the impetus of this long ramble. He gets out of his jar basically in disbelief. Because this is Lucy, the wretched girl who doesn't keep her promises to him to speak about his freedom, this awful living person who's left him behind time and time again.
But for every mistake she's made, she's also tried her best to right it. Every time she left Skull somewhere, she went back for him. He even got a heartfelt apology from her when she left him behind and Rupert got his hands on Skull.
This is the girl who looked past his rudeness. Who wasn't someone under the honeyed thumb of a different ghost. Who gave him a chance and let him out not because she needed him or hoped he'd be on her side. This is the girl who ket him out knowing full well Skull would do as he pleased and made her peace with it.
Because unlike Marissa and Ezekiel who are inextricably tied together and dependent on each other, Lucy is Lucy and Skull is Skull.
And when he does come to Lucy's aid, well, he's barely even exerting himself. I love him so much.
There.
#lockwood and co#the skull#lucy carlyle#lucy carlyle & skull#marissa fittes#marissa fittes & ezekiel#the empty grave#i fell asleep writing this#idk what the overall takeaway is supposed to be#anyways#skull <333
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DAY TWENTY-FOUR Emmet appreciation month (June 2024)
[book]
Emmet often finds he doesn´t have that much time to read anymore. Audiobooks still work perfectly fine, though.
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the hobbit (review)
Right, I know I am a million years late here (ok, more like 87) but jesus fucking christ I loved this book. I’ve been a fan of the Lord of the Rings films since I first saw them with my dad back in the early noughties but having never sat through an entire The Hobbit movie (soz) I didn’t know that much about the story of this one tbh. I knew there was a dragon? Some treasure? A group of dwarves and maybe one of them is gay and totally into Bilbo? (That may have been more tumblr’s version of events but I was willing to believe it and - guess what - still willing to believe it tbh.)
Some of my preconceived notions of course were accurate (ok, all of them) but what I didn’t anticipate was just how much I would bloody love it. Tolkien’s style gets a lot of praise, understandably so, but I wasn’t aware of just how much it would gel with me. Its almost satire-like humour was flawless, and it really gave me the impression of someone sitting me down to tell me a bedtime story; of course, this was exactly how these books were initially intended and it shows. But it works. I am totally of the opinion that this would make a fabulous audiobook, and I can’t wait to check them out in a couple of years once I’ve done my first proper read-through.
My favourite thing about this were the introductions we get to all of the different creatures, races and creeds in Middle Earth. The elves, goblins (orcs in later works) and eagles in particular were an absolute joy to read and get to know. Legoloas��� character in the films was always my favourite (my big queer crush on Orlando Bloom in a blonde wig may have had an influence there but we’re not here to talk about that…) so it was super fun to get to know some of the elves in this novel. I love the idea that the elves were fully just living their lives with Bilbo kicking about all invisible, making no noise whatsoever. The things he must have been privy to… I digress…
The eagles were a great introduction too. My partner and I watched The Return of the King on the night I finished this and I was so delighted to fully appreciate their significance at the end. A dear co-worker of mine (and HUGE Tolkien fan) has said they play an even more interesting role in The Silmarillion so I am really looking forward to reading that once I’m done with the original trilogy.
Everything in me wants to binge them now, but I have some big reading plans over the next few months so I am planning on doing one a month. Considering I read this in two days, I don’t think that is beyond the possibility of belief.
Well done Tolkien, you have impressed. 5 stars, obviously.
#books#bookstagram#fantasy books#books and reading#book review#books & libraries#the hobbit#j.r.r. tolkien#jrr tolkien#tolkien#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#thorin x bilbo#Legolas#Orlando bloom#review#the silmarillion#lord of the rings#lotr
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Audiobook Appreciation Month: Benefits of Listening to Audibooks and Other Narrations
Visually Impaired and Other Disabilities For those who are visually impaired, audiobooks can put them on even footing with their peers who can see. While they may also have Braille, there’s a certain learning period that needs to happen. So audiobooks can help them along and keep them on track with their peers either in their early years or even later in life. While there are those who have…
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#Academic Reading#Afternoon Read#Alluring readers#audiobook#Audiobook Appreciation#Audiobook Appreciation Month#audiobooks#Blind Readers#Blog#Book Addict#Book Addiction#Book Blog#Book Blogger#Book Community#Books#Books are Awesome#Books Books Books#Books empower us#Books foster better health#Books improve us#Bookstagram#Bookstagramer#Booktok#Booktube#Canadian#Charming Readers#Cozy Reads#Crafty Reader#doesn&039;t matter what you read#Don&039;t burn books
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Melanin in YA
Imagine a space where you can easily find the next YA book written by a Black author to add to your TBR list. Best of all, amongst that book are an endless amount of other YA books waiting to be discovered by you, all written by Black authors. In that same space, you can find out if any of these authors have a book event near you or will be attending a festival / convention near you. In that same space, you can find out their NYT bestseller stats, book to screen adaptation details, a list of Black audiobook narrators to listen to, a detailed list of Black literary agents to query, Black bookish social media influencers to follow, Black led bookish podcasts to subscribe to, Black owned bookstores to visit and so much more.
That space is Melanin in Y.A. A database for all things Black in traditional young adult publishing. It acts as a no excuses cross-referencing tool for industry professionals, press, readers, writers, students, educators, librarians, program administrators and more. It’s available to you 24/7 for free.
I, Melody Simpson, created Melanin in YA in August 2020 and have been running it entirely by myself from day one. I really want to hire an intern to help me out because maintaining and promoting this is a lot but I’m tapped out on funds and cannot afford an intern right now. Though I am in desperate need of one and would never ask anyone to do the amount of work that I need done without paying them. If you’d like to help in that regard, you can do so here (gofundme) and no donation is too small, thank you so much. If you’d like to help out in other ways, can you please do any of the following below to help amplify this invaluable resource?
1) Follow and/or repost/retweet Melanin in YA content on Instagram or Twitter
2) Shop merch at Shop Melanin in YA
3) Send the melanininya.com link to your English teachers / professors, librarians, favorite booksellers, colleagues, fellow book club members, anyone you know who loves books, anyone you know who values diversity, equity and inclusion, and everyone you think could use this resource.
Full transparency, when Melanin in YA first launched, there was lots of excitement around it. But it’s been quite the struggle to get people to talk about this resource and share this resource outside of moments in time, say other than Black History Month or when something tragic doesn’t happen to Black people and makes it to mainstream news. I appreciate your support 365 days a year. Especially during a time when Black YA books are being banned more than ever before. This resource is so necessary. Your support is so necessary. It means so, so much.
Thank you.
#books#yalit#melanin#blackgirlmagic#blackcreatives#blacktumblr#reading#writing#literature#publishing#blackcommunity#fortheculture#blackisbeautiful#library
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Hello. This is not a question I hope you don't mind I just wanna thank you for your art and your posts. I find your art extremely beautiful and your art has helped me through tough times. Thank you so much for your artistic creations and I hope you're having a good day. God bless you.
hey dirak-sea,
i don:t mind at all when people send me non-questions (though there:s a gamble sometimes where i:ll just read them and privately appreciate them and then delete them); thank you very much for the kind words--i really mean it each time i say it to someone who says they:ve enjoyed my writing or my art: it:s something i appreciate immensely to hear because it:s more often appreciation goes by quietly and my relationship to posting either art/writing is, too, very quiet--there:s not much expectation that it will be loved, and that makes it a surprise that it might be loved.
art, and blogging, is really tricky for me; my desire to output took a huge plummet when i forced myself to actively keep to myself for (just only about) a month and just that month of relative alienation taught me some (extremely boring) skills to self-soothe and appreciate depressions as they come, and as they go; and, without being as much of a leaky faucet for depressions, the desire to make art had been swept up with the bad habit of {loud helplessness} i'd been so reliant. and all of that is to say: that betterment i thought i learned had really just been some thin plaster over a rot of my character, as i:m lately finding myself incredibly depressed and in need to make art, and fearful of it as another contact-point for invisible hooks to be rent with; and all it leaves me with is this itch in my heart of a calm fear i must appreciate as an active chain or love keeping me in prayer, for the depression must be seen with awe and appreciation as a christian must see satan as part of god and christ (the dead process church would love that); to feel colorful moods and experiences needed for autofiction and dumb artworks; for myself though, i am mostly just recently and softly sad and appreciative of any kindness come my way--alone, and weak, i am trying to make paranoid drawings of blue cars that do nothing but be idol of a paranoia and breed to me more discomfitures of my own character to a simple'd paranoid skulked upon by blue and yet there, like a polyp in this world came from a hook piercing a fold in my brain that stood too tall, a blue car was in my drive holding a man in a blue shirt--and then all i can think of is making blue car drawings, and byproduct of my thought is all my thoughts are controlled by the blue car like a brain subjected to passions from music;
i finished In The Woods by Tana French (audiobook) yesterday, and it was a pleasant-mid-no-strong-feelings 3/5 listen; started Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (audiobook) this morning (seems alright after an hour); loving Wuthering Heights more and more--really i just hate the initial narrator the story is seen through, he:s a dweeby little poof;
take care; your humble servant
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You did good work today. I've been told that it's important for a supervisor to give praise. Oh. Well, thank you. What else do you appreciate about me? That you know when not to push your luck.
| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.02 - Five Minutes
These two and their pranks… This is something that started as a way for Lucy to get back at Tim for his tests, and has now blossomed into a love language between them… Into a little tradition of theirs : baby powder to celebrate her graduation to P2, booties to celebrate his promotion to Sergeant… At least, it's less messy this time!
The fact that only Lucy's mischievous smirk gives us a hint that something is afoot when Nolan brings out that Tim is now technically a rookie Sergeant is excellent. It makes the final reveal that much sweeter. Tim is looking so proud in the locker room, holding his new uniform, happy to be moving on with his career, even smiling… until he unlocks the door. The way his face falls once he sees all the baby boots and the sign… He looks already so done and annoyed. The only thing missing in this is Lucy witnessing his reaction… So having a follow-up at the end of the episode is perfect.
And that second scene just enhances the whole prank. It's full of flirting / bickering. Starting with Lucy tiptoeing her way back to his locker with more booties, before being busted… Or Tim trying his hardest to look stern despite the glimpse of a smile peeking through and giving him away… His dorky thumbs up, his discomfort at giving her a compliment and Lucy's face of disbelief, as if she's two seconds away from asking him if he's feeling alright… Tim admitting he was forced by Grey to 'give praise' more often, as if he's personally offended by the suggestion… Or Lucy immediately taking advantage of this and asking for more… This is them. Simple as that. She's being playful while he's pretending to be grumpy. The whole exchange comes off as completely good-natured, especially since he complimented her recently, when he was comparing Barnes to her or after her undercover op. And the second she is out of his sight, he can't help but smile and laugh… His little head shake at the end has such a 'she's driving me crazy but I love her' vibe. And her prank was flawless : it was a good way to get back at him for all the times he called her 'boots' and to celebrate his promotion in a fun manner that she knew would both irk and amuse him. She really took the time and made the effort to do this for him (not to mention the amount of money she must have spent). It also concluded beautifully this arc : Tim started his journey to become a sergeant with her. After the audiobooks, the turned-down promotion, they can now add the booties.
But this serves another purpose as well : with all the changes that went through since they stopped riding together, their dynamic needed to be reestablished. They barely interacted after her last day as a rookie, both being busy with their own lives… And then, there were those sizzling moments at Angela's ill-fated wedding and at Tim's place… Jackson's death… A three-month time-jump. A lot of things had changed so we needed to see where they were standing after all of this. They may not be there yet, still not completely fully aware of the implications of what may have happened or denying it… But their relationship is as strong as ever and they both are ready to fully embrace their friendship without the constraints of their former mentorship.
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