#au jemily

[5ivebyfive]

jemily + "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" (bonus points for ANY other BAU team member facepalming at them both)

Jennifer Jareau was sitting at the bar with Derek Morgan. They’d had a very long day and just needed to take the edge off. They were partners in the FBI, both working hard and paying their dues. They weren’t talking at the moment. They didn’t need to. They had been partners for so long that words just weren’t needed most of the time. JJ sipped her glass of white wine and turned to Derek, opened her mouth to say something, and heard a voice behind her.

“Hey there, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” With a frown JJ turned to face the voice and saw a very pretty brunette with a cute, pointed nose. She looked very proud of herself for the line. JJ frowned. Behind her Derek rolled his eyes and shook his head.

JJ had never met this woman before so she didn’t exactly know how to take the…extremely terrible line. She subtley looked the woman over before speaking. “I hope you didn’t think about that one for too long,” she said. “Because I’m no angel.” The woman nodded approvingly.

“Then you sound like my kinda woman.”

JJ narrowed her eyes slightly. “Does this work for you?” She could hear Derek snickering behind her. The woman faltered.

“Usually, yes.”

Nodding and raising her brows, JJ lifted her glass to her lips. “Not tonight.” She sipped her wine.

“I could go and come back with another one.” The woman stepped closer. “Make it worth the wait.” JJ looked at her again. She was smirking as if she already knew she could win her over. It was…cute, actually. JJ wondered…how many times would she try?

“Yeah…” JJ said slowly. “Try again.” When the woman left, Derek nudged JJ in the arm.

“You really gonna fall for that?”

JJ let out a snort. “No, I just want to see how many pickup lines we get to hear.”

Send me a pickup line and one of my otps and I’ll write something.

[lillaberry]

Spencer and Penelope were in Caltech the same time?!?!? She dropped out at 18 and she’s 3yrs older than spencer? I cant stop thinking about college au where angsty emo penelope meets this scrawny 15 yo kid and they become unlikely besties to siblings????? Uggghh can someone please write it😭😭

[manhattanminute2]

Jennifer Jareau legit played soccer, and they're still trying to tell us she's straight.

[cargopantsprentiss]

First drawing of the year had to be my favourite au 🥰 (please do not repost 🩷)

[pzyii]

Lesbian moms and their mentally ill son (and their daemons

[starrywafflesnight]

if emily and pen were friends in hs they would’ve traded goth makeup and 100% have been each others gay awakenings!

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Emily: My ex got into a car accident today-

JJ: Bitch don't smile

Emily: My ex got into a car accident today

Emily: and I was going to ask if he's okay but then I remembered

JJ: You Remembered what?

Emily: that I don't give a fuck!

[ohlittlearchie]

little drawing of modern college jemily :) emily’s clinging to her goth phase, jj’s a lululesbian. i know emily doesn’t look Super accurate, but yk. i tried please be kind to me

[piqtescue]

Jemily of The Wasteland✨

[alexblakegf]

jemily instagram posts

taglist 🏷️:

@villaneve4life

be added to my taglist here

[criminalmindsfanantic]

*Criminal Minds High School AU*

Emily: JJ’s first detention, I'm so proud.

Reid: Whoa, back up. Why did she get detention?

Derek: Because she’s a useless bisexual.

Penelope, terrified: They can do that??

[leaveitalonesky]

I thought about Criminal Minds Vampire AU where Emily joins the team (although she's not a vampire, so she needs to have a reason for it) and ends up having a thing with JJ and/or Tara, who are vampires

now someone write it because I'm 100% not going to write it; I just want to read it

let's not talk about how I came up with it, thinking about JJ and Tara fucking Emily in front of a mirror where they don't show up lmao

[neve-gallus-girl-detective]

Jennifer Jareau resigned herself to Hell a long time ago. Everyone is born a sinner, but she thinks she was born filthier than most. From the moment she takes her first breath, JJ knows that she's going to die. She's going to Hell. She can never bring herself to care.

[pzyii]

Yk I will always love me a daemon au kept Sergio as a name bc, like he’s already a black cat in canon, Sergio the daemon is just… bigger. Jjs a stereotype having a golden retriever but it fit her vibe (football/ soccer player…. And it just fits the like, Public Figure of the bau ig, it’s a good image for the liaison)

[jareauwalker]

jemily how to lose a guy in 10 days au

penelope, jj's best friend, is constantly getting ghosted and is sure it's because the guys she's seeing aren't attracted to her. jj's like "actually that's not true, you're gorgeous however you're also a little nuts babe". penelope asserts that jj doing the same things wouldn't drive someone away, and jj's like okay bet.

emily is, to put it bluntly, a fuckboy. her coworker & singular ex who she managed to stay friends with, tara, bets her that she can't stay with the same woman for more than a week. emily is like...care to wager & they agree that if emily wins she gets to move into tara's cutie corner office with all the windows and tara has to move into emily's cramped little office near the copy room.

jj & emily end up at the same bar that night, sparks fly and they both decide that this is who they're spending the next week with. jj's doing absolutely everything she can to make emily regret ever talking to her, emily's suffering big time (jj adopted her a fucking cat???), and tara and penelope are honestly just giggling bc this is the funniest thing they could've possibly done.

"you're already falling in love with me" "i'm going to make you wish you were dead"

[baunitchief]

[somewhere a clock is ticking; or the 'Pacific Rim' AU no one asked for.] [+LISTEN]

tracklist;

(1) somewhere a clock is ticking by snow patrol / (2) the beginning is the end is the beginning by smashing pumpkins / (3) war by linkin park / (4) fight like a brave by red hot chili peppers / (5) diane young by vampire weekend / (6) kashmir by led zeppelin / (7) the kill by joy division / (8) keys to the kingdom by linkin park / (9) sooner or later by breaking benjamin / (10) god's gonna cut you down by johnny cash / (11) change [in the house of flies] by deftones / (12) feeling a moment by feeder / (13) there is a light that never goes out by the smiths / (14) passenger by deftones / (15) heavy is the crown by linkin park / (16) love will tear us apart by joy division / (17) run by snow patrol / (18-19) black by pearl jam / (20) the ghost of you by my chemical romance / (21) meant to live by switchfoot / (22) heroes by david bowie