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#attachment does not mean love au
crabbunch · 1 month
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wait. sorry. drags out my little wooden pedestal and stands on it again. could we get a little weirder about platonic relationships too ok thanks.
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He was so so right btw
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backinmyphase · 12 days
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Not your husband
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Summary: You are going to marry the Satoru Gojo. A dream come true right? Well when he doesn't even show up to the meetings to arrange your marriage, it becomes clear that it's more a nightmare.
Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.
Pairing: Gojo x reader, 3040 words
Next part Masterlist
Sane Geto AU (I am an Angst writer, but not like Gege. Please excuse any errors in my writing)
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The world of Jujutsu was never a world for you.
Born into a clan, which only saw your value in your technique. Born into a family, which only saw your mistakes. Born from a mother, who had the same problems but still resented you.
Born into a world full of curses but still being told you were the biggest of all.
"Don't daydream, you will make a bad impression. And you really can't afford that."
The woman in front of you isn't pleased. She isn't since she knew she wouldn't give life to boy.
It's hard as woman in a Jujutsu clan.
It's not about how your technique can help you, it's about how your technique could help your son at exorcising curses.
"Yes, mother."
She frowns as she looks at you. Displeased she fixes her posture a bit, signaling you to do the same. You obey.
"You can't afford to make any mistakes today. Just do as I told you. I can only hope you have learned anything."
As you nod you realize what all this means. The dress kimono you are wearing. The expensive tea that is ready to serve. The hairpin you have gotten from your mother, who did your hair today.
All of it becomes so real.
Your husband has been decided.
"You won't say anything, until you are being asked." The woman hissed. "And please keep a smile on your boring face, then it at least looks not so simple."
You never discovered your technique and what you could do with it. It wasn't easy. Knowing that everything you did would result in you being married of.
And as you sat here in this big room with your mother, you could only wonder.
Who would your husband be? Could it be someone who understood you?
Someone you could love?
As the door opened you saw your father who looked onto the ground as he spoke.
"They are here."
Your mother only nodded, as your father closed the door. Just a few minutes later the door was opened again.
And a beautiful woman stepped inside.
She smiled at your mother as she took a seat in front of her. But the smile was the same as the smile of your mother. And maybe the same of your own.
As she sat down on the opposite side, you served the tea. The best tea your clan could afford.
For a man that didn't seem to have come.
The woman gave an apologetic smile. "My sincere apologies, but my son... Well he is in a bit of a rebellious phase, which lead of him disappearing before this meeting."
Your mother's smile faded a bit. "Does he know of what importance this meeting is for our clans?"
The woman laughed. "Oh, he knows." She slightly eyed you before she spoke again. "He just doesn't care."
Silence flodded the room. It was like a cold hand slidded down your back as you realized.
"I hope the Gojo Clan will show more interest in our connection. We will be very disappointed if not." The smile of your mother was just as cold as the hand that seemed to choke you.
This was Mrs. Gojo. The mother of the strongest.
Gojo Satoru.
The one who seemingly stood above anyone. The one who jumped at every opportunity to mess with the higher ups.
Who will be your husband.
And he didn't even show up to meet you.
"Of course. He will learn." The woman sighed as she spared you a glance again. Then she smiled that smile again.
And you mirrored it.
"Your future husband isn't the easiest person." The woman sighed as she looked at you. "Even as a baby he knew what he wanted and how to get it."
Not knowing how to react you just nodded.
The woman laughed at that. "But no worries! Even though he is... Difficult, you will love him. He has that effect on people."
Your mouth dried up at the mention of love. How could this woman talk about love at the table your arranged marriage would be discussed? How could she talk about love when you didn't even have a saying in this arrangement? How, when you will marry the strongest?
Satoru Gojo?
"I really hope that he will learn." Your mother smiled while taking a sip from her tea. "He should know that his actions are what keep the Gojo Clan still important. He shouldn't throw that away."
The tension grew a lot, as Mrs. Gojo mirrored the smile and took a sip of the tea. "Well at least I brought him to our Clan. In the end that's the biggest thing a woman could achieve right?"
It was sick. We lived in modern times, but the Jujutsu Society was still so far behind, floating under the radar, with the excuse of making the world a better place.
"It's true." Your mother sighed as she lowered her cup. "The strongest really is the biggest achievement you could have ever accomplished. Being the parent of such a child... But I wonder..."
Your mother now didn't even try to hide her distain. "Why does his mother not have him under control?"
Klirrr
"Because." Mrs. Gojo's hand shook as it held the broken cup. The sharp shards cutting into it. "As a boy, he can have this freedom."
The black tea in your cup grew cold as long with the atmosphere in the room. Your mother stood up and left the room without a word. Her steps filled the silence in the room. And as she closed the door the woman in front of you sighed.
"Difficult woman, isn't she?" Mrs. Gojo let go of the cup shards while hissing. Her mask no longer in tact as she didn't smile anymore.
"Well who isn't?"
She looked at you surprised and then chuckled. "I guess you are right."
On the same day the arrangement was consolidated. It was official.
You will marry Satoru Gojo.
~~
"Suguru, how could this happen? To me?" Satoru whined as he complained to his best friend. "It all has to be a bad joke, right?"
"No, it sounds like a normal thing in jujutsu clans. I'm just confused why you didn't have any saying. You know, as the strongest." Suguru didn't look up from his book as his best friend groaned.
"That's what I'm saying! I don't give a damn about this whole clan thing."
As they were sitting in the park near their mission, they of course already finished not even breaking a sweat, the sun slowly set.
"It is a really bad system. How the clans only strive after power and never consider the lives of their toles." Suguru muttered as he turned the page.
"And now I have to marry a random girl I don't even know!" Satoru groaned again and buried his face in his hands.
"And she has to marry you." Suguru sighed.
Satoru looked at him slightly annoyed. "What do you want to say? Just say it."
"Well, I am sure, she is just as horrified as you at the sound of marriage. I'm just saying you could at least try to get to know her."
"I'm not going there." Stubbornly Satoru shook his head. "Never. I'm not giving them that satisfaction."
Suguru looked up at his friend and now he shook his head. "I pity your soon to be wife."
Offended, Satoru turned to his friend. "Hey! I'm your friend in need here!"
Suguru placed his bookmark gently in his book and then closed it. "Just promise you will show up to the wedding."
Satoru grinned. "Why? You scared of the higher-ups for me?"
"Not for you." He stood up as he looked down at his friend.
"For your wife. If an arranged marriage isn't going well, you know who gets blamed. And what you're doing is just cruel to her."
Gojo didn't say anything as he put on his blindfold.
~
"Do I look pretty?"
You didn't dare be louder than a whisper. "Mother?"
Her sigh gave you confirmation that she wasn't pleased. As she looked you up and down, her frown never disappeared. "As long you don't make that face, it's passable."
She stood up. "For a wedding you look... I just hope your husband will like you at your best."
"Soon to be husband." you corrected her quietly as you looked in the mirror.
"What?"
"Nothing."
She raised a brow but nodded slowly. Then she paced through the room impatiently. "That woman still hasn't given us any signs."
"Mrs. Gojo is probably seating the guests." a little part of you wanted to defend this woman. Your future mother in law.
"Or the groom makes problems again." your mother shook her head, like always when she spoke about the young Gojo.
After he didn't show up to a single meeting, she was sure that Mrs. Gojo didn't raise him right and that she as his mother should be blamed.
It was so pathetic. How you already felt his displeasure, his hatred towards you.
"Mother?"
"What is it?" she was annoyed.
"What was your wedding like?"
...
"Just like this one. It's tradition in our clan." her face was stone cold.
And you felt sympathy for her. She also had an arranged marriage. A wedding in which she didn't have any saying. A husband who she never chose.
"It's the bride's moment." The voice of Mrs. Gojo halled through the room.
Your mother smiled at you. You smiled back.
"Just don't mess it up."
~~
There were too many guests. Mostly people you didn't know. And all of them looked at you, while you made your way to the altar.
Under their stares you felt small.
But there was also this man. This guy with white hair, that stood at the end of your path. This boy that refused to even meet you before the wedding.
He gave you a glance and then continued to stubbornly look straight ahead.
As you stood before him, he didn't seem to be here with his thoughts.
And at this moment you knew he didn't want to marry you. No, you knew that before. But you knew that he would never open up or try to make this work.
And you didn't want that.
"I do."
No, you really didn't. And as he spatted the same words you knew that he was lying too.
~~
"Oh, you lucky girl!" The old woman, you didn't even know, said.
The after ceremony was not nice. All the guests wanted to talk to Gojo and some, not many pestered you. What really stung you was that they made more effort to talk to you than your own husband did.
"To marry such a handsome man." she looked at you and smiled knowingly.
"Of course it's an honor to marry Gojo Satoru as he is an important figure for the jujutsu society." Everything you said sounded like a broken record that lost any meaning.
She chuckled. "You can be honest with me. An heir will be on the way shortly, right?"
You hated this talk about an heir. Hated, hated, hated this people that keep telling you to hurry up and sleep with this man that didn't even look at you.
"We will see."
She laughed at that. And somehow you managed to excuse yourself from the conversation.
The rest of the evening was torture, but you somehow survived. Gojo didn't talk to you. He just disappeared at some point, leaving you alone in the cave of the lions.
His mother was right. He was a difficult person.
You hated that you had to ask around to be driven to his estate. Hated, that he didn't open the door, it was the personal chef that was going to leave. Hated, that you stood alone in this cold house.
He seemed to like to leave you alone. To just go.
You didn't want to sleep at this house. You didn't want to, but where should you go? Where could a place be, where you could hide?
Gojo had places. Not you.
You slept on the couch that evening. Your wedding dress was still on, as you didn't know what in this big house was to wear for you.
~~
"You're an asshole, you know that?" Satoru didn't like to hear that from his best friend, as he stood at his doorstep.
"I just need a place to sleep."
"I said to go to the wedding." Suguru felt like babysitting a toddler.
"And I did."
"Then why are you here? And not with your wife at your house?" Suguru slowly began to lose his patience.
"Can you just let me in, you ass?"
After shaking his head, Suguru opened his door wide enough to let Gojo in.
"Why are you here?" he wasn't going to make it easy for Satoru to forget he left you there.
"Had enough."
"You're such a child." Suguru shook his head. That's what ticked Gojo off.
"Stop it!" He threw his shoes on the floor.
"You can't judge me! Not when you don't know how it feels to have your future stripped from you just because you have been born in this family!"
Suguru kept silent this time.
~~
Your things were shiped to this mansion you should now live in. It wasn't a lot but your necessary clothes. Finally.
Finally you could take the dress off.
The clothing that reminded you that this was real. That your reason in life was already fulfilled and now you should just cease to exist.
No, that wasn't true, was it? You still had to bring an heir.
Will you ever get used to this new prison? You doubt it.
It was so big and cold. So many things but it didn't have this personal touch. It felt empty, unloved. Did Gojo even live here?
Well it seems like he wouldn't if you were here.
It was stupid. You didn't know him, just saw him yesterday for the first time in person. And still it was so clear he wouldn't make it easy for you.
You felt unloved.
"A letter, Mrs. Gojo."
The sudden voice blew you away from your thoughts. Another thing you wouldn't get used to. There were servants for the Clan leader. Like this girl. They were only needed in the kitchen, but it still felt wrong.
And something felt so wrong with being called this name.
"From who?"
The girl before you had a pitiful look. "Your mother." She cleared her throat. "She said, it's about your arrangement."
As you looked down at this paper, it felt like cursed energy was coming from it.
"Oh. Alright, thank you." Hesitating you took the letter.
The girl just nodded and made her way to the kitchen. The silence in this house was haunting.
Again you looked at the letter in your hands, and wished it was only paper. What should you do from now on? How would you spend your life?
Well obviously not with your husband as he wasn't even here.
And you would make sure that he didn't see the letters from your clan.
~~
"You're here." Satoru Gojo didn't seem pleased to see his wife in his house at this evening. Rather displeased, the way he frowned like a little child.
'Well.' you thought. 'That's to damn bad. He should have come to the arrangement hours.'
"Yeah. I have to be."
He didn't even look at you. Humiliation after humiliation. What would your child self say? Seeing that your own husband didn't even look or smile at you? The hopeless romantic would be crushed.
And now they definitely are.
"I see." His voice was barely audible. Oh, what a humiliation this must be for him! The strongest! Not even in control of his own marriage.
You really should pity him. Be understanding. Like the good wife your mother wanted you to be.
But you didn't have the strength to do that. No, you didn't sympathize with this man, that stood in front of you. The one who had the privilege of doing what he wanted till now just because he was blessed. Because he was born a boy.
And you were not.
"My things were brought this morning and Hina showed me around. I already-"
"Who is Hina?" Gojo sounded confused.
"The servant girl. The one who helps to cook?" you couldn't believe him. She even told you that she was working here since 3 years!
"Oh, yeah she. Continue."
You didn't like his tone, you didn't like his attitude, you didn't like that you didn't knew anything about him BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SHOW UP TO ANY-
"I already have my own room. I won't bother you." While trying to keep the bitterness down you started to whisper.
"What?"
As you looked up at him, your mind went blank. For the first time Satoru looked at you. With his big blue beautiful eyes, he looked at you. So mesmerizing that you almost forgot about your bitterness towards him.
Almost.
"I already have my own room. I won't bother you in any mean. We can also eat separately. In fact I would prefer that."
He snorted. "That's childish. Not even eating together."
And that broke the straw. The straw your patience was hanging on sooooo desperately.
"You." you poked his chest with force. "Can't tell me what's childish or not."
Your voice grew a bit. "You can't, not after not attending any meetings, actively trying to get away from me on our wedding day, leaving me alone for our clan people, leaving me alone for the night way to a new house I have to call home now!"
He kept silent. Like all the times you saw him.
"SO EXCUSE ME." You made your way to your room, shouting to make sure he knew what you said.
"IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL! AND IF I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!"
You slammed the door with force.
You don't think your husband will ever even like you. Or if Gojo would ever even be your husband.
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mingigoo · 5 months
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oh shit, are we in love? || Jongho (m.)
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🏀 pairing ⇢ cheerleader! (fem) reader x best friend/basketball player! Jongho
🏀 summary ⇢ you’ve called Jongho your best friend all your life. You were attached at the hip for ages, and even as you take on college together. With no other relationship experience other than with him, when you decide to go after a cute classmate, you look to Jongho for some help. Asking him to practice “things” with you seemed like nothing—that is, until kissing him made you think that you couldn’t kiss anyone else.
🏀 genre/au ⇢ best friends to lovers, college au, smut, fluff
🏀 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, unprotected sex, oral sex (male recieving), cum shot, Jongho is a virgin, also is a slut for y/n, drinking, mentions of knee injury, best friends to lovers, college love, cheerleader x basketball player
🏀 word count ⇢ 15.8k (so sorry I just couldnt stop)
🏀 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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When you were kids, Jongho gave you a ring—a ring made out of straw paper he kept after a trip to get milkshakes after school.
With the paper straw ring, he stuck it on your ring finger. The wrong one, but that didn't matter to him, anyway. He declared to you that he would marry you someday. Someday, whatever that meant to a young kid. With the ring already on your finger, you couldn't exactly decline his proposal, so you just shrugged and told him, “Why not?”
At seventeen, you went to prom together. Not because you liked each other, no. Because it was convenient, it made sense. How could you go with someone else? You wore a beautiful red gown, Jongho matching you with a patterned red tie. You had a great time, went home together, and nearly kissed at your doorstep—you didn't think too much of it. You blamed it on the atmosphere. So did he.
You sat at your desk in your cramped dorm room, your bed pushed up on the left side of the room and a mess of pillows and blankets covering it. 
Suddenly, as you were finally getting to the good part in your book, Jongho barged into your room, dropping his basketball bag onto the floor with a groan. He tossed his slides off, not even meeting your gaze before walking like a zombie towards your messy bed, throwing himself on top.
“Well hello to you too,” you blinked, losing your page in your book. “Get out of my damn bed, you're sweaty as fuck.”
He huffed, crossing his muscular arms across his chest, staring up at the glow stars you put on the ceiling. “Leave me be. My roommate is fucking some chick right now. I just need to lay down.”
“San seems like he gets around a lot,” you scoffed, picking up your book again. You were currently reading a very, very smutty book—although you were supposed to be studying your literature anthology text for the exam you had in the morning. You flipped a page. 
“Oh, he does,” Jongho sniffed. You looked over at him, his cut-off t-shirt revealing a good bit of skin on his side, his sweat gleaming on his body. “I mean, practice just ended. He had to have the damn girl in there even before he got back. It’s ridiculous.”
He sat up now, putting his back against his headboard. He winced a bit as he moved, his hand going to the brace around his knee.
You paused, completely forgetting the smut you were reading. “What is it? Is it hurting again?”
“Just a little, it’s no biggie.” Jongho offered you a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “Don't give me that look, y/n. I hurt it a while ago. It's normal for it to ache occasionally.”
Back in your senior year, he tore his ACL before the season, causing him to never have his final year of basketball. He was a mess, but at least he had you. He got surgery, had physical therapy, but yet, he still has pain to this day.
You met his eyes for a moment, sighing when that gorgeous smile of his poked through his lips. “Fine, fine. Just get outa here when you can. I got some…important things to do alone tonight.”
He furrowed his brows, confused. “What could you possibly…..oh,” he shut his eyes painfully. “Please, I don't want to imagine it.” He scooted back down on the bed and tossed your blanket on top of him. “My eyes, my eyes.”
“Oh, shut up, you pussy.” You set your book down, crossing your legs. “A girl gotta live out her fantasies somehow, alright?”
“La la la,” he repeated, trying his best to ignore the conversation. “I don't wanna hear it.”
You let out a chuckle, stood up from your seat, and tossed yourself onto the bed with him, tackling him as he thrashed from your grip.
“Stop it, stop it,” he groaned, wriggling away from your hands as you tickled him. He giggled, childlike. You giggled right along with him, not even caring about the damn sweat that coated his skin, his clothes. You tangled together under the blanket, and after a good couple minutes of a tickle fight, you grabbed your laptop to watch your favorite TV show.
Jongho stayed under the blankets with you, his leg strewn on top of your body, his head in the crook of your neck as you watched the show together. He let out a few snide comments—earning a slap from you, but he just chuckled and nuzzled closer into you.
And after a few episodes, he fell asleep on you, legs tangled in yours, your arm wrapped around him.
“Dude, you wouldn't answer your phone last night,” Wooyoung mumbled as he stuffed a couple of chips into his mouth. “Do you literally have a new bitch every night?”
You and your friends were sitting at a table in the dining hall, munching on some lunch before you had class. Wooyoung, San, and Mingi sat across from you and Jongho, all of them in workout gear—they were going to the gym after lunch.
“Listen, last night wasn't even that good,” San hummed dully, taking a sip of his protein shake. “She was too damn loud—”
“I thought you liked them whiny,” Mingi deadpanned.
San’s eyes narrowed on the giant. “Your point? She was loud, not whiny—there’s a difference.” San looked to Jongho now, a slight smirk on his pretty little lips. “Where’d you go? You could've joined us.”
Jongho waved his hands sporadically. “No, no, I’d rather not, thank you.”
San huffed playfully, eyes dancing to you. They glimmered knowingly. “Ah, you’d rather be in her bed, right?” he nodded his head towards you, earning a harsh glare from Jongho.
“So what if I'm in her bed, it’s not like we do anything.” Jongho’s eyes went frantic, and his fists balled. “We’ve always slept with each other—wait, that came out wrong—”
“What he’s trying to say is that we’ve slept in the same bed since we were little, that nothing is ever gonna happen,” you interjected, crossing your arms across your chest.
San laughed at that. “Ah yeah, that nothing’s gonna happen, gotcha,” he said, taking the last sip of his protein shake. I’m going to the gym if you guys are ready. Jongho, y/n, you coming?”
You shook your head, but stood up with everyone else, anyway. “I have class, but you guys have fun. I’ll walk out with you.”
As you and your friends left the dining hall, the cool, winter air breezed through you, sending chills down your spine. Your winter coat wasn't enough. You shoved your hands into your pockets, walking stiffly next to jongho, who simply—possibly even without thinking, tossed his arm around your shoulder, warming you up instantly. Your friends continued to talk and carry on, and you snuggled up into Jongho’s warm side.
Class was a bore. As per usual. The spring semester had just started, and the new classes you had were far from entertaining. Anything to get through school, though.
As you packed up your things, a phone fell from the seat in front of you, landing right by your feet. You picked it up, but when the person was no longer sitting there, you quickly tossed your bag over your shoulder to follow him.
“Hey, excuse me!” you huffed, chasing after the guy—damn, his legs were long. He moved way too fast for you. “Your phone….dude!” you finally reached him, tapping him on the shoulder, only for the most gorgeous man to grace the earth to turn around.
You forced yourself to keep your jaw from falling to the floor as you met his dark eyes. His hair was even darker, his lips a soft pink, curling up slightly. 
“I’m sorry,” you breathed, holding up the phone. “But you dropped this.”
The pretty guy blinked, smirking. The classroom emptied as you stood staring at each other, oblivious to the professor giving you a side-eye as he left.
“I don't think that’s mine,” he said blandly, but his eyes glimmered mischievously. He looked a bit older—definitely older than you, at least.
You furrowed your brows, looking at the phone in your hands. “I could've sworn you were the one sitting in front of me,” you wondered, confused. You pushed it forward into his chest. “Just take it I don't have time to find the owner if it's not yours.”
He smiled down at you, his thick eyebrows raising. “I won't take it.”
“Why the hell not?” your patience was running thin—you had to get the cheer practice. This stupidly pretty guy was not allowed to make you late. You were not running laps. Not today. 
You were about to just shove it into his pockets until his mouth opened. “Not without your number.”
You frowned. “Is that….is that supposed to be a pickup line?”
He shrugged. “If you want it to be, then yes.”
God, the smile this damn boy had. You were gonna crumble under his gaze like some schoolgirl, but you kept your cool.
His eyes were so bright, so clear. He was tall, much taller than you, much older. You watched as he looked around, away from you. “If not, then I’ll just take the phone back—”
“No, no,” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the phone in your hands. “You just…you’ll just need to unlock it.”
He smiled gorgeously. “I can do that.”
He took the phone, typed in a few numbers, and gave it right back to you. “What’s your name?” 
“y/n,” you hummed, forcing your blush away. This was the first time you had been asked for your number, the first time a guy other than Jongho or your friends had looked at you. “You?”
“Seonghwa,” the pretty boy smiled, a name now to the face. You couldn't help but grin at his expression—and the utter insanity that just happened. It was totally random; a pretty guy asking for your number? That’s never happened in all your years. Never. 
“If I ask to buy you a coffee,” he started as you fumbled on your phone number. “Would you say yes?”
“Depends,” you shrugged, unable to look up at him. “If you get me food, too.”
“Deal.” Goddamn, that smile, those teeth. “Tomorrow, after class? Before class?”
You bit your lip, handing the phone back to him. “Before, I have practice after class.” actually, you had practice like, right now. You probably looked crazy, eyes wide as you realized where you needed to be. “I gotta go—speaking of which—”
Before you could leave, he called for you. “Hey, where should we meet?”
“Outside the library?” you tossed out, hoping he answered hastily. 
He nodded, giving you that smile once again. 
“Perfect.”
You were in bed after practice, and Jongho was sitting quietly on your desk chair, slowly taking off his knee brace and hissing. 
“God, this thing sucks,” he groaned, the velcro tearing as he peeled it off. The brace was like a metal cage, going from his thigh to his lower calf, looking like a deathtrap.
“And it stinks,” you mumbled dramatically, staring up at your ceiling, hands folded on your stomach as your mind wandered. You sat up quickly, startling your best friend. 
“What? What is it?” he spat out, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “You just sat up like a goddamn zombie.”
“If, let’s just say, hypothetically,” you wondered, looking out into space. “That I got asked out on a date to a coffee shop, how would I dress?”
Jongho’s eyes widened. “You got asked out? You?” he asked incredulously.
You scoffed, looking over at him with a playful sneer. “Is that so hard to believe?”
He laughed, finally taking off his brace and setting it on the side of your desk. “Oh yeah—y/n, you’ve never once gone on a date in all of our years of friendship. It's shocking.”
You blinked at him, gripping a pillow from behind you and tossing it at him. Of course, he caught it. 
“I’m just saying—”
“Okay, but for real,” you groaned, shifting to get comfy again. “You’ve been on some dates, how did the girls usually dress for them? Did you ever go on a coffee date—”
“Who’s the guy?” he huffed out, completely ignoring your worries.
You flattened your lips. “Does that matter?”
“Uh, yeah. What if the guy is a scumbag?” Jongho leaned back in the chair, stretching out his arms. 
“He’s definitely not a scumbag,” you sighed, thinking of how dreamy he looked, missing Jongho’s worried expression. “Anyway, you didn't answer my question.”
You couldn't figure out the look on your best friend’s face. He knitted his brows, his eyes raising to yours. “Just dress normally,” he spoke softly. “When’s your date?”
“Tomorrow.” You hopped off your bed and walked towards your closet across from Jongho. He followed you as you moved and hesitated to look as you tore off your top, leaving you standing in your sports bra.
Jongho gulped but rolled his eyes playfully. “Why do you always undress in front of me?” His eyes naturally dropped to your hips as you slid off your sweatpants. “I am a man, too, you know.”
“Pfft, man, my ass,” you turned your back to him as he tried his best not to look. You grabbed a t-shirt—his t-shirt that you kept from a while ago—and tossed it on. You didn't even bother with pants.
Jongho gave you a look as you turned to face him. “My shirt? Really?” He groaned, mouth parted as he looked at you. “Where the hell are your pants?”
“I don't like pants.”
“Then put shorts on—”
“Is it a crime to sleep in my underwear? God, at least I have something on, dammit.” you walked past him and hopped back onto your bed. “I could be completely naked—this is my room, remember?”
Jongho didn't change his expression—he blinked at you while you sat on the bed, bare-legged, the skin up to the top of your thigh visible. He took in a gulp. “I, uh, I got an assignment due at midnight. I’m gonna head back to my room.”
You shrugged and shuffled into bed to get comfy. “Have fun with that, babycakes,” you said, giving him a wink, but he ignored it and left your room without another look.
Maybe it was a bad idea to wear jeans on a day like today.
A day when you woke up painfully bloated, bleeding, and aching from your period. Out of all the days, you had to get it today. 
You stood outside the library, your back against the red brick building. You wore a cute pink top with the flared jeans you were struggling with, and you added a cute little bow to hold your hair back.
You saw Seonghwa walk up to you. His lower half was also dawned in wonderfully-fitting jeans. They hugged his thighs, loosening a bit at his knees, and fell over a pair of sparkling clean white sneakers that looked like they were worth more than your car. 
The white shirt was also slim against his lean frame. You held back any reaction you had like a damn cat in heat. “Hey,” he started as he neared. “Ready to go? We can go to the coffee shop on campus since we have class coming up.”
You nodded, hoping to god the smile on your face was not grimace-like. 
“Yep, let’s go.”
You sat with your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers anxiously as Seonghwa waited for your drinks. You looked over at him, watching his figure lean against the closest wall, how his long, long legs looked in those damn pants, how his fingers tapped against his arm as he waited. You barely knew him, nothing much other than knowing his name and now his coffee order, and you wondered what it would be like to get to know him. 
When he sat down in front of you, he handed you your coffee, a bright, blinding smile on his face. “I pegged you as the type to like ridiculously flavored seasonal drinks….” he paused, smirking, as you froze mid-sip on your….seasonal drink. Highly, highly sugary seasonal drink. “Guess I’m a good judge of character.”
You swallowed the party of sugar and cinnamon before giving him a shy smile. “I’m a sucker for them, to be honest.”
You sat quietly for a good while, sipping on your drink, him sipping on his. The feeling was…nice. However, you were a bit anxious as he looked at you, at your lips, as you drank from the straw. 
“You’re a cheerleader for the basketball team, right?” He tilted his head slightly, looking at you. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere—besides class, I mean.”
You nodded. “Yep, I cheer for the basketball team,” you took another sip of your drink. “Do you play? I think I would've seen you before, though.”
“Actually,” he started, offering you a kind smile. “I just transferred in from another university. I start official practice today, but I’ve been to many games already.”
Oh, so he’d seen you and known that you were on the cheer squad even before he approached you?
Cute. 
“Oh, wow,” you smiled, leaning closer without realizing it. “So, will you be playing in the next game, then?”
“Yes,” he looked ecstatic, like he can't wait. “We’ll see how much playing time I actually get, though. Those guys are very good—”
“Oh, I know!” you didn't mean to interrupt him, but you would take any chance to brag about your Jongho. “My best friend is the point guard.”
“You know Jongho?” Seonghwa smiled, but it looked a bit weary. “He’s a great guy.”
“He really is.” you took a large sip of your coffee, meeting Seonghwa’s gaze as you did it. His gaze fluttered to your lips once more, and he licked his own. 
He tapped against the wooden table. “Would you….want to do this again?”
You raised your brows. “This? You mean, getting coffee?”
“Not exactly,” he blinked, letting out a little chuckle. “Anything, just…we can hang out more, if you're down with that.”
Your heart fluttered a bit. “Ah, yeah, I would like that.”
He smiled. “Good,” he looked at the clock on the wall near your seat. “We gotta get to class.”
“Class, yeah, that’s right,” you were lost in his gaze, not even realizing how captivating his entire being was. You followed him out of the coffee shop, walking next to each other, until you got to the classroom.
He took the seat next to you this time, and you were beginning to suffocate from the feeling of his body being so close.
“I think I’m doomed.”
Jongho, like always, is in your room when you come back from practice. He sat up from his lazy position on your bed, eyebrows raised.
“Why’s that?”
You huffed, tossing your cheer bag onto the floor next to your desk. “What if he kisses me? I’ve never kissed anyone, fuck, I bet I’ll look like a fish trying to gulp fucking water—”
“God, you’ve been here for not even a minute, and you're blabbing on like a maniac already.” He blinked, his face deadpanned as he looked at you. “Why are you so concerned? Did the date go well?”
You groaned dramatically, tossing off your sneakers, and balancing yourself on the back of your desk chair. “He asked me for another date, but I know damn well what that means, and I can't let him find out that I am a twenty-something-year-old virgin that’s only ever kissed books and my mother.”
Jongho looked like he was about to burst out laughing at your desperate words, biting the inside of his cheek. He managed to squeak out, “Oh, I think you’re a lost cause,” he giggled. Giggled.
“This is not funny. You're no help,” you groaned, tossing your head back as you walked to your closet—when a perfect idea came to you. 
“Wait a damn minute–”
“What is it now?” Jongho sat up on your bed, legs dangling off the side.
You turned around sharply, facing him, eyes wide with mischief. His eyes widened at your expression.
“Lend me your lips,” you said, walking up to him, but he leaned back in confusion, his arms holding himself behind him.
“What?” He scoffed, unable to meet your gaze. “The hell do you mean?”
You leaned over him on the bed, him unable to lean any further back without falling. You held yourself up on both sides of him. “Oh, come on. Just once. You can help me learn how to kiss. Who else could?”
He furrowed his brows. “You’re crazy.”
“I know,” you shrugged. “But I’d rather die than embarrass myself.”
“You do know,” He started, letting out a sigh. “That friends don't kiss each other? Or did you miss that memo?”
“I swear it won't mean anything,” you pleaded, knowing you were acting crazy, immature, whatever. 
Jongho huffed, leaning forward, but grabbing your shoulders to move you away. “Listen,” he sighed, meeting your eyes. “Why don't you go ask San or Mingi?”
“Because San scares me,” you shrugged. “He’d probably eat me. And Mingi is….Mingi….”
“What does that even mean—”
“For fuck’s sake, Jongie,” you grabbed his shoulders. “Is this asking too much? We’ve been best friends for so long. How would something so trivial as a kiss mess with it?”
Jongho looked like he had something to say—a lot to say, actually. But he stayed quiet, sighing, as he looked up at you from his seated position on the bed.  
“Okay, but if I have to kiss someone as filthy as you,” he huffed, crossing his arms. “What do I get out of it?”
You hummed. “Hmm. well, what do you want?”
He smiled mischievously. “Do my paper for me. For my lit class.”
“Easy, done,” you leaned forward. “Now gimme your lips—”
“Ah ah ah, slow down,” he scoffed. “You can't just toss yourself into the kiss. You have to lead into it.”
“Got it,” you blinked, looking into his golden brown eyes, noticing how…nice they were. “How do I do that?”
“Well, I bet he’ll try to kiss you first,” Jongho ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair, matching his eyes. You took note of it, too. He stood up, causing you to subconsciously step away from him. You both now stood in the middle of your dorm room, the room dimly lit by your desk lamp, the warm hue coloring the tanned skin of his face.
“Okay,” you nodded, almost freaking yourself out for noticing his details, the slight curve of his lips, the way his hair fell across his forehead. 
Jongho’s calloused hand slowly, hesitantly, moved towards your face. You watched his eyes as his fingertips brushed your skin, watching them scrunch, watching them focus on his movements. “Maybe he’d hold you like this,” he spoke softly, eyes jumping to yours, his hand twitching slightly.
“But what do I do?” you weakly jutted out, biting the corner of your bottom lip. “Do I…touch you—touch him, too?”
He shrugged, swallowing hard. “I mean, you do what comes naturally.”
He was so close. So close. It's not like you’ve never been closer to him, because you have, but something was suffocating. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to feel.
You stared into his eyes, those brown eyes, those….sparkling, pretty eyes. You swallowed as his hand slid down to your chin, tilting it up softly.
There was an unknown emotion dancing in his gaze. You were extremely aware of the spark that was setting off from his touch. 
He leaned in closer, and as he got closer and closer, you felt your heartbeat flutter in your chest. You heard it in your ears, felt your stomach tighten. 
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said hushedly. You noticed that the tips of his ears were flushed red, and a dusting of the color was across his cheeks. When he pressed his lips to yours, you widened your eyes from the feeling, then shut them to savor it.
His mouth moved across yours, you felt the warmth of his lips, the softness of them. His other hand—the one that wasn't holding onto your chin, rested around your hip, his grip tightening. 
You froze under his lips, unsure of how to do this. You moved your mouth against his, then, trying to move with his movements. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, unsure of what to do with them if you didn't do that. You felt a small smile in his kiss.
You pressed your body into him as his lips parted against yours. You felt the soft tickle of his shaky breaths against your skin—you could only imagine what you felt like to him.
He parted from you, only slightly, and took a sharp inhale. You still had your eyes shut tight, lips parted, as you got lost in the feeling. 
You opened them, meeting his gaze, meeting that heart-shattering look he had. His lips were red like his ears, like his cheeks. His eyes were hazy, his hands still on you. You felt your heart crumbling inside you. 
Without another word, you leaned back up to him, awkwardly wrapping your hand around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. He shut his eyes, and let out a pleasured sound, stirring something, awakening something inside.
You kissed him this time, even knowing that you had no idea what you were doing. You just trusted these instincts you were feeling, the emotions that were overtaking your mind. Your body told you to part your lips against his sweet lips, to savor the slightly salty taste against them. To lean into his body. You couldn't help but allow yourself to touch his waist, gliding your hand down his abs, his stomach, feeling his muscles tighten under your touch. 
He sighed into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist, his fingertips brushing the bare skin under your blouse. His lips felt so good, so soft, so electrifying. This feeling was unlike any other, you were beginning to lose your breath, your senses, your mind.
And when you let out a little moan—without intending to, you were shocked back to reality. You pulled away from him quickly, moving your hands to your sides, trying to catch your breath. Jongho was also huffing, begging for oxygen, as he stood in front of you. His lips were bright red now; his eyes were wide.
“Ah, um,” you cleared your throat, forcing out a laugh. “So, did I do a good job?”
Jongho blinked, still looking out of it. “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” He swallowed, nodded, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Mhm. For your first kiss, you did good.” 
Good? Good? God, that felt euphoric. Like you were drugged, high, out in space. You still couldn't get your heartbeat to slow. “Great.” That was all you managed to squeak out, now that you were suddenly aware of the ability to just kiss him again. You realized that the air was odd now, that something felt different. 
“You tasted like sweat,” you playfully added, letting out an awkward laugh as you gave him a shoulder punch. “Maybe I should've kissed San or Mingi instead.”
“I am a great kisser, I’ll have you know—” Jongho boasted, but you interrupted him. 
“Pfft,” you waved a hand as if you weren't just about to hyperventilate from his kiss, his touch. “You sucked, you’re a horrible teacher—”
“Oh?” he huffed, gripping your arms just below your elbows. “I’ll kiss you again, I’ll prove it, I’ll do you one better—”
“Fine! More practice for me, anyway.”
Jongho let out a grumble of incoherent words before grabbing you by the back of the neck and pressing his mouth to yours once more, his lips gliding against yours. 
You grabbed the fabric of his shirt, tightening your grip as he pushed his tongue through your lips, into your mouth. You let out a sigh as he did it, his fingertips gripping your hair on the back of your head.
After a long few minutes of eating each other, He pulled away this time. He let go of you, his hands falling at his sides. “There,” he breathed. “Now you know how to handle a kiss like that. You know, just in case.”
You licked your bottom lip, sparks still flying around your body. You tasted him still, the saltiness of his sweat. You smelled the woodsy cologne he used, the minty taste of gum. 
“Thanks,” you smiled, trying your best not to let these thoughts of him overtake you. “For helping me with this. You’re such a good best friend.”
“Ah, yeah,” he sniffed, forcing a smile. “I should, uh. I should go, I have something to submit before midnight, so,” He gulped, taking a step away from you. “But happy to help, of course. Now you owe me my paper.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” you scoffed, smiling playfully as he walked to the door to put on his shoes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he called out as he opened the door, leaving after you offered him a wave goodbye.
And once the door shut, you nearly lost your breath, falling onto your bed.
“Oh god,” you breathed, putting a hand to your mouth. “What was that? I—ugh!” you groaned, thrashing your legs around. “Why the fuck was he so hot? Get a grip, get a grip.” you ran your hands aggressively through your hair and gripping it. “Fuck I think my brain lost too much oxygen.”
You couldn't sleep one bit—not at all. Every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was Jongho, and all you felt was him.
A few days pass and you barely see your best friend.
It's not that he’s ignoring you or vice versa; it's that he had an away game a good distance away and was off campus for a good few days. 
While he was gone, you wondered if he was thinking the same way you were, if he felt something, too, or if it was just normal to have feelings during a kiss. 
Irritated by your stupid mind, you were unsure about the feeling in your chest when you saw Jongho in the library; his baseball hat flipped backwards over his soft brown hair.
You would look odd if you ran away, right? Right.
You strutted over to where he was sitting. He always loved the window seats, mainly to people watch. You sat down in the seat across from him.
“When’d you get back?”
He lifted his eyes to yours. “Last night,” he grumbled, flipping a page in the book in front of him.
“What are you reading?” you leaned forward on your elbows.
He reacted much worse than you thought, flying backward into his chair, a terrified look on his face. 
“Yo, I’m not gonna bite you, Jeez,” you raised a brow, moving your gaze to the book. “Oh, ew, anatomy. No thanks.”
He scoffed, picking off an invisible—or maybe an extremely small—piece of lint from his black hoodie. He didn't say anything in response, he just continued what he was doing.
“So,” you tried to continue the conversation with him without it turning to mush. “I’m gonna be going to Seonghwa’s frat tonight. There's a party or something.”
He looked at you with shock. “You’re going to a party?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” you rolled your eyes, leaning back to cross your arms around your chest. Jongho’s vision dipped to the movement.
“Well, given that you hate crowded places,” he trailed off, not really having another excuse. “I just can't see you going to—”
“y/n?” a voice softly murmured from your left, and both you and Jongho turned to see Seonghwa walking up to your table, a bag slung across his broad shoulder. His hair was pulled up in a half up half down do, little black strands framing his unfathomable face.
Jongho, in the corner of your eye, looked away from the tall basketball player, opting for the view outside the library.
“Seonghwa?” you smiled, uncrossing your arms to look less like a grumpy bitch. “What’s up?”
You didn't even look to see the irritation on Jongho’s face.
“I was coming in to study but then I saw you in the corner of my eye,” he smiled, beamed, really, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He then nodded to Jongho, offering him a smile, too. “Hey, Jongho.”
Your best friend managed to give him a smile back, although you knew his face all too well—that was a damn grimace. “Hey.” 
You looked between the two boys as seonghwa spoke again. “Hey, me and y/n are gonna be at the party tonight. You wanna come? The other guys on the team will be there, too.”
“Well, I can't imagine San missing a function,” Jongho scoffed, cracking his knuckles aggressively. “But I guess I’ll come, too.”
You nearly dropped your jaw onto the floor.
“Really?” you interjected, shocked. “I can't imagine you going to a party—”
“Anyway,” Jongho cleared his throat, ignoring you. “What time?”
Seonghwa furrowed his brows as he tried to recall. “Uh, I think ten? It goes till two, no later,” He looked to you then. “Do you wanna go for some lunch?”
You blushed. Jongho huffed. “Oh, yes. That would be nice,” you smiled, to which Jongho rolled his eyes in response. You stood up from your seat and offered your best friend a playful wink. “See you tonight, jongie.”
When you walked away, seonghwa slugged an arm around your shoulder on the way out. Jongho, still in his seat, tightened his grip on the textbook as he watched you leave.
And then he couldn't even enjoy people-watching when he saw you walk down the sidewalk with that string bean.
You didn't hear from jongho the rest of the day, and even when ten o’clock came, he was M.I.A. You shrugged it off, trying too hard to ignore the tug in your chest, the desire to go to his room and kiss him again. 
You made it to the frat house that sat on the end of the Greek life strip in town. It was a tall, skinny building that looked way too nice to be lived in by a bunch of boys. You made sure to wear your filthy Converse, knowing damn well whether booze, puke, or a plethora of other fluids would end up all over them. Despite not going to many parties in your lifetime, you still had common sense. 
You walked into the house, getting bombarded with tons of odd smells, some good and some bad. The interior was dark, lit with random colored lights that danced all over the walls, the people. 
Loud, ungodly music blared through oddly positioned speakers in the wall, and there was a sea of people talking and carrying on. You weren't sure how the fuck they could hear each other over the awful music.
You walked further into the house, making a B-line to where you assumed the alcohol was. There was a bunch of beer cans, and you grabbed one with ease, cracking it open and chugging it like a champ. However, the beer sucked ass, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. You must've made a face.
“Icky?” Seonghwa’s smooth voice envelopes you with comfort. 
You turn to him, offering him a sincere smile. He looked great, as always, with his hair growing even longer. “Very, but if it gets me drunk, I’ll handle it.”
“So brave,” he chuckled, standing closer to you by the second. Your mind wanders to the thought of him touching you. Would it feel as good as it did with Jongho? Would his hands be gentle? Would his lips taste as sweet? 
His hand on the small of your back interrupted your thoughts.
You needed to be drunk. Quick, so you can handle these stupid ideas.
“It’s good to see you here,” he starts, but you can't help but look at his lips. You weren't thinking about them—no, rather, you were thinking of Jongho’s. Would Seonghwa feel the same?
You took another sip of your drink to get the last drop before grabbing another. “Do they have something else? This shit sucks.”
Seonghwa looked at you for a long moment before nodding in a direction. “There’s vodka in the cabinet if you want it?”
You let out a sigh of relief, but still, you kept drinking the shitty beer. “Yes, god, yes.”
After you got ahold of the vodka, you regretted your choice against the beer.
You must've blacked out for a bit—you don't remember how you got in the living room, how you got onto Seonghwa’s lap, how his lips were on your neck. You delightfully craned your neck to feel it better, to feel his hot breaths, his hands on your waist. However, when you opened your eyes, you realized that you were imagining someone else under you.
You pulled away from him, but you didn't get off him. You looked into his eyes, seeing the desire drip from them. You were too messed up—blame that on your shitty tolerance, to care what you were doing right now. “Can I try something?” you fluttered your eyelashes, not meaning it in a sultry way, but it came out that way.
“Of course,” Seonghwa mused, a little smile prickling at his lips.
Lips that you wanted to kiss—not because you needed to, but because you needed to see something, feel something—have something to compare to that ethereal experience you had with your best friend.
And at his approval, you leaned forward, doing everything that you were taught, and pressed your lips to Seonghwa’s. He responded well, gripping the back of your head as he kissed you back, and you slid your tongue in his mouth, half expecting to feel something, anything.
But there you were, imagining Jongho, his smell, his taste, the way he cautiously touched you and held you. Nothing can compare, not even this.
You pulled away from him, eyebrows raised, mouth agape. He looked confused at your reaction but put on a sloppy smile. “Everything okay?”
You were going to say no. you were going to cry out and say that you were going to die because you kept thinking about Jongho. You couldn't even kiss a hot guy, a guy you wanted to date, without thinking how much better it felt with Jongho. Everything felt better with him. It was comfortable, unnerving, exciting, all at the same time.
You smiled, but with how drunk you were, you could assume that it looked like a grimace. “I uh, yeah, I just gotta….go do something—-bye,” you huffed out, offering him a little, awkward wave, before you ran out of the spinning room.
You ended up on the back porch, not sure how you got there, but the world was spinning. Your chest was aching. You needed air, anything, you needed to breathe.
The cool air hit you just right, enveloping your lungs, helping you breathe. Your skin was hot, flaming underneath your clothes, and you were sure your cheeks were bright red. After noticing a couple making out in the corner, you grimaced and ran back into the house.
God, what a shitshow.
You avoided seonghwa narrowly, making your way up the creaky, thin staircase to get your own space. You opened the first door you got to, tossed yourself in, and slammed your back against the door with a sigh of relief.
That relief didn't last long.
“y/n, what the hell?” Jongho nearly screeched, turning his body slightly as he stood over the toilet, zipping up his pants in a frenzy. “The fuck? Don't you know how to knock?”
You didn't say anything. You just took a deep breath, your gaze falling over him.
“y/n?” He repeated, standing a bit awkwardly on the other side of the room, leaning over to flush the toilet. He looked a bit rough around the edges as he washed his hands quickly, looking over at you as he dried them. He walked up to you now, hesitantly, unsure about your expression.
You fiddled with your fingers as the world slowed around you.
“Are you gonna talk?” He scoffed playfully, his eyes raking your body, forcing themselves up to your face. “Are you okay?”
“No,” you swallowed, shaking your head, the door behind you the only thing holding you up.
He gave you a concerned look, running a damp hand through his silky hair, and you couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be to rake your hands through it, too. “No, that you're not okay, or no, that you’re not gonna talk?
You blinked. “....yes.”
He sighed. His eyes looked hazy, not quite to the extent yours probably looked, but still, he was not in his right mind, either. You took a shaky breath, watching those brown irises fall to your lips, to your chest. 
You clench your fingers together, your body, dying to do something your heart would regret. You swallowed hard, sighing.
“Aren’t you acting like this because you have something to say?” He asked, his words dripping like honey from his lips.
You shook your head. “No.”
He looked like he was fighting a smile. “I think you are.”
“No, I’m not–I’m not acting like this because I have something to say.” Your mind was already screaming at you, begging you not to do anything. Begging you not to say anything. “Because I want to do something.”
The air was stuffy. The bathroom was filthy, the window was cracked open, blowing in a slight breeze, gently running up your arms, sending chills down your spine. 
Jongho tilted his head. “To do what?”
The vodka in your basically vodka-virgin body was bubbling under your skin, infiltrating your mind, your blood. It was taking control over your every move, every idea, everything. So when he asked you that, when he looked like the most beautiful person in the world as he spoke, with his pretty ass hair and his lips and his flushed cheeks, you knew what you wanted to do.
“To kiss you,” you didn't stutter. You stayed put against the door despite your words. “I just wanna do it again. Every time I look at you, I want to do it.”
Jongho’s eyes widened, but he didn't run away like you thought he would. He just stood there, breathlessly, his hands at his sides and his mouth parted. It’s like he wanted to do it too, with the way his fingers twitched as you spoke, with the way his lips almost curled up completely. 
You pushed off the door, taking a step towards him. When he didn't back away, you took another step. You were so close to him that you were able to feel the soft, hot breaths he was letting out against your skin. His breath smelled like that disgusting beer, but it didn't matter at all—actually, you wanted to taste it on his lips, on his tongue.
You reached out a hand, the room spinning around you. Your fingertips met his cheek, his hot skin. You felt a surge of electricity run through your body as you touched him, as you looked into his eyes. His gaze was unlike anything else you have ever seen. His eyes were zeroed in on you, shutting slowly as you rubbed your hand against his skin. He let out a soft breath, a content sigh, and his eyes were on yours again.
He took in a breath, eyes on your lips. You were too drunk to think about how the look on his face made no sense—friends shouldn't look at each other the way he was looking at you.
You leaned forward, and when he didn't flinch away, when he actually leaned forward as well, you smiled to yourself, and pressed your lips to his.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his body to yours. His hips knocked into yours, his mouth parting, swallowing you whole. He shoved you against the sink, the countertop stabbing the small of your back, but you felt absolutely no pain. You arched your body into his, as if it were instinct, and his hands ravaged your bare skin. He was desperate, trying to catch his breath as best he could while he kissed you. 
Your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers tightening in his brown hair. He let out a little moan into your mouth, his hands caging you in against the sink. Accidentally, his forehead bumped yours, causing you to bite his lip. 
You pulled away, but just for a moment, smiling at him, at the redness of his lips from your gloss and your bite. He looked breathtaking in front of you, so human, so perfect. So you leaned in to kiss him again, nose knocking into his, but it didn't matter if you were sloppy. It just mattered that he was the one you were kissing. 
“y/n,” he breathed against your lips, his hands now on your hips, one curving around your ass. “We shouldn't be doing this—”
“Shh,” you hissed, slapping his shoulder, keeping your lips against his. “I don't care right now.”
You deepened the kiss, and as he pressed up against you, you felt something hard press into you; you felt a deep rumble from him into your mouth. The pool between your thighs.
Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened. Mingi stood there, his jaw down to the floor, as he took in the scene in front of him. Jongho must not have heard the door, as his hands were still clawing at you like a goddamn animal, his lips on your neck now. You quickly gripped Jongho’s shoulders and pushed him away.
“What? You just said—” He took notice of where you were looking, turning his head to see Mingi’s shocked expression. “Oh.”
“Oh, dear god!” Mingi looked like he couldn't hide the smile peeking through his lips. “I knew it!”
Jongho took a whole century taking his hands off you, finally stepping away, leaving you cold, empty. “It’s not what you think—”
Mingi threw his hands up in the air, smirking. “Ay, I didn't see anything. Carry on.”
With one last look, Mingi shut the door, leaving you alone with Jongho. The feeling in the room was completely different from a moment ago.
“I….” he started, then sighed, unable to look at you. “I gotta go.”
“Jongho—” You went to move toward him, but he left the bathroom as quickly as he could, stumbling into the doorframe, and out of sight. You were left to your own devices, standing in the middle of the bathroom, hair a mess, lips bright and painful, and a mark on your neck from your best friend.
If you could call him that…
It’s as if he disappeared.
You haven't seen Jongho in days. You were even too nervous to go to his room this time, not knowing how to approach him after kissing him like that. After you felt the hardness of his cock against your stomach. The wetness between your thighs. Something you have never felt before.
After a few, empty, lonely nights in your room, you took the initiative to go find him at the late hour of midnight—To ask if he feels this intense craving for you just like you do for him. But when you arrived at his dorm, San told you he wasn't there.
“He’s been super sick. I thought he was with you,” He shrugged, confused.
“He’s sick?” your eyes widened. 
San nodded, messy hair from sleep. “Sorry, maybe he’s with Mingi?”
After your encounter with San, you made your way to Mingi’s dorm. But, once again, Jongho was nowhere to be found.
So you went to the only place you thought to look.
And there he was, under the bright lights, taking a shot at the three-point line on the courts near the rec center. He missed the shot and stood there a moment before going to grab his rebound.
But the ball rolled to where you were, as if it meant to. Jongho stood still as you grabbed the ball.
He stayed silent. You weren't sure whether to move closer or just pass him the ball back.
“Are you going to give me it?” He spoke blandly, sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold air surrounding him.
You sighed, putting the ball under your arm. “Jongho, it’s cold out here.”
He sniffed, his nose red. He didn't look at you. “Just give me the ball, dammit.”
You blinked, watching the cold air show as you exhaled. “Why are you ignoring me?”
He rolled his eyes, taking in a breath. “Dammit, y/n—”
“You’re doing it on purpose,” you began to dribble the ball—very sloppily, but it didn't matter. You dribbled past him towards the hoop, tossing the ball up, watching it go through the net. “Ignoring me, I mean.”
“No, I’m not,” he huffed, moving to grab the ball from your shot. He made his way back up to the top of the key, away from you.
“Yes, you are.” you walked up to him, putting your hand out so he couldn't shoot. “Just be honest!”
With a huff of cold air, jongho tossed the ball away, an aggravated look on his face. “For fuck’s sake, y/n, Yes. I’m annoyed.”
You blinked, standing only a few feet away from him. “Why?” you asked, probably stupidly, given the irritated look on his face.
He sighed, tightening his hands into fists. “...Because….because I’m a man, too, you know.” he started, running his hands through his hair aggressively, clenching his jaw. “ You change in front of me, kiss me, do everything that causes my brain to spin. I’m sick of acting like I'm okay with it.”
You stood there, frozen. The air felt even colder as winter wrapped its arms around your bare skin.
“Does that mean you didn't like it?” you wondered out loud, possibly too immature, too inexperienced. You had no idea what you were feeling, why you felt this way. All you knew is that you wanted to spend every moment with him, to kiss him, to lay in bed with him. Things you did normally, but things felt different. 
“Didn't like what?” He asked, his eyes wide.
“The kiss,” you looked into his eyes. “The kisses.”
Jongho stood tensely, unsure of what to do. You watched his eyes flicker up to the sky as little flurries fell, catching themselves in his hair.
“y/n,” he took a sharp breath in. “don't you get it? I can't kiss you. You can't kiss me. You can't….touch me like that, change in front of me, and not expect me to get flustered!” He nearly shouted the last part, and turned to the side away from you, aggravated beyond words.
“I….I’m sorry,” you spoke out, taking a step towards him. “I’m sorry that I feel this way—”
“Feel what?” he scoffed, turning back to you, a pained smirk on his lips. “You should be sorry for making me feel this….for causing me so many headaches, for god sake why the fuck am I out here when it’s fucking snowing, jesus christ you piss me off—”
“Jongho,” you interrupted his freakout, his word vomit. He stared at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “What are you trying to say?” you spoke in a small voice.
His eyes were frantic, going back and forth from eye to eye. “I…. can't do this.”
“Do what?” you felt the flurries dance against your skin, dance as they fell around you.
“I can't act like your friend anymore.” He bit his lip. “You have no idea what you do to me. What you’ve been doing to me.”
You took a step closer, but he backed away.
“I don't understand—”
“Just go,” He pleaded. 
“You do things to me too!” you groaned, finally done with his attitude. “Will you knock it off? You’re not the only one confused here—”
“Oh, I confuse you?” He looked at you like you had two heads. “I’m sorry, I only kissed you because you were trying to get another guy. I kissed you so you could know how to do it, but you want to know something?” He paused, suddenly right up on you, the space gone between you. “I haven't kissed anyone either. I just…you. It’s just been you! I didn't know what I was doing, either!”
“Is that so bad?” you pleaded, your eyes bleeding into his. “Is it so bad that you had to kiss me? Should I apologize for wanting to do it again? That I haven't stopped thinking about you since?” you frantically looked into his eyes. 
“Just…” Jongho sighed, his eyes a bit watery. “Lleave me be.” 
The look on his face was enough. You took a step back, and then another. 
“I won't apologize for my feelings, for whatever this feeling is,” you admitted. “But I am sorry I caused you trouble.” before you left him there, you looked up to him once more, snow falling around you. “Good luck at your game, tomorrow.”
You turned on your heel, not understanding a single thing that just unfolded, that was just said. He made no sense; you made none, either. It was just a bunch of words, unnecessary words, rifting your friendship. But one thing was for certain—you couldn't repair this without a few missing pieces. 
Jongho stood as still as a statue as he watched you walk away.
You sat on the bench in your cheerleading uniform, your heart beating a mile a minute as you watched the game unfold in front of you. 
It was approaching halftime. Jongho was sprinting down the sideline, limping slightly as he moved. He passed the ball beautifully to San, who was wide open for the layup. 
You couldn't focus on anything—didn't even cheer when San made the shot. You just sat and stared into space, your eyes following jongho, watching his wince as he backed up down the court. 
“He’s hurt,” you muttered under your breath, stomach tightening. 
Jongho continued playing his heart out, but you knew something was wrong. However, as halftime came, he walked away from the court just fine and into the locker room, not giving you a single passing glance as he walked past you. Seonghwa did, however, but you weren't even paying attention to that.
After a few long moments, the team came back out. You had to cheer, but your heart wasn't in it. Jongho, once again, walked right by you, and when you were about to jump up and ignore everything that was said yesterday to make sure you were okay, the buzzer rang. 
The game went on, the score going back and forth until the last quarter. Jongho stood at mid-court, calling a play, but the guy guarding him was aggressive. He tried to make a move around him, squeaking his sneakers against the hardwood, but it was no use. The defender followed him with ease, sliding his feet in perfect position.
The gym was in hysterics as Jongho pushed for the bucket, taking a side step into a euro step, but suddenly, oh so suddenly, Jongho crashed to the ground in a thud before getting the shot off.
The gym went silent. Jongho hissed in pain, his eyebrows knit tight. The athletic trainer ran out to see him as the game was put on hold with less than a minute to go. You stood up, not even realizing what you were doing. All you could feel was a pain in your chest as you saw him hurt, the intense feeling to take his pain away. You watched in despair as he was lifted off the floor, as he was carried out of the gym.
You swallowed hard, your ears ringing. Your teammates tried to get you focused, as the game was going to continue, but you jumped up and pushed through, making your way to the locker room desperately. 
“Jongho?” you panted, turning the corner to enter the boy's locker room. You sucked in a breath as you see him in pain, lying down on the bench, a few others around him as he nearly cried in pain. 
“Jongho!” you cried out, rushing to his side. His eyes were frantic, wide, a mess. The trainer took off his knee brace slowly as you approached. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Jongho met your gaze through his watery eyes, every other emotion gone other than…whatever this was. He almost let out a sigh of relief as he saw you. You knelt down next to him, gripping his hand, and he held yours tighter. 
“y/n,” he murmured, sucking in a sharp breath as the trainer surveyed his leg. “Did I…did I do it again? Please tell me I didn't—”
You looked at the man who was assessing his injury. “Did he tear it again?” you panicked, remembering how awful this was for him back then. How traumatizing it was, how horrible it was for him to gain his strength again. You couldn't stand to see him in pain.
“I…I don't know,” the man admitted. “It’s too swollen to tell. You’ll need to get this checked out—”
“Goddammit,” Jongho hissed, shutting his eyes tightly, and swallowing hard. That was when you realized that it might not even be the pain from the injury—no, it was his trauma. The memory of his hard work all down the drain. 
“I’m here,” you breathed, tucking his hair behind his ear and away from his face. “It’ll be okay.”
The buzzer rang, and screams followed. Jongho looked at you, not a care in the world other than that you were there with him, just like before.
“You’ll be alright,” you repeated softly, your heart aching at his pain. “This will be okay.”
“From the MRI, it looks like everything is still intact,” the doctor spoke with a tone of arrogance. “You did weaken your surgical graft, however. You’ll need some PT and rest.”
Jongho stared down at his leg, his hand still gripping yours. He breathed a sigh of relief but didn't say anything else. 
“I’ll write up a referral for that, so just hold on a moment.”
You were left in silence in the middle of the emergency room, Jongho sitting up straight on the bed with a big icepack on top of his knee. He was starting right at it, his lips downturned.
You wanted to ease his troubles. To make him feel better. Nothing felt worse than seeing him like this.
You didn't know what to say. You really couldn't say anything. You were so overwhelmed with the pain you felt as you looked at him as if it were your own. You hated his tears that begged to fall and never did.
“Hey,” you mumbled softly, squeezing his hand. It took him a minute to move his gaze to you, and when he did, his eyes spoke a thousand words. “See? It will be okay.”
He sighed, his face contorting as he fought his tears. “I…I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you weren't thinking of anything else other than what was in front of you. You rubbed your thumb against his knuckles, trying to soothe him.
“For how I acted.” He looked down at your hands, how yours was touching his, how his fingers were tight around yours. He didn't want to let go—neither did you. “I was just upset.”
“I know,” you nodded, swallowing. “I was, too.”
He looked into your eyes. “y/n, I…” he paused, the beeping of his heart rate speeding up in the background. “I just don't know why I acted like that I…I guess I got caught up in how I feel about you, and it confused me.”
You blinked. “How do you feel about me?”
He let out an uneasy laugh. “Isn't it obvious?”
You shook your head. “I… don't really know much of anything. Much of these feelings,” you acknowledged, biting your bottom lip anxiously. 
He let out a genuine laugh. “Me too.”
“So, how do you feel?” You tucked a piece of your hair that fell loose from your bow, suddenly aware of how much of a wreck you probably looked like. You were still in your cheer uniform, Jongho in his basketball one, and you were sure you had smeared mascara everywhere. “About me, I mean.”
He took in a sharp breath. “This isn't fair, I’m like, high from pain meds. I don't know what i’m saying.”
You smiled widely, feeling such immense love for the man in front of you.
Oh shit.
Are you….in love?
“All I know is that I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you,” He chuckled anxiously. “I don't understand why, and it's just increasingly worse after you keep kissing me, it's making my head spin.”
Jongho yawned slightly after his somewhat confession, his eyes fluttering. 
He was so pretty. So, so pretty. You wanted to sleep with him. Next to him, cuddle with him, kiss his face, his eyelids, his cheeks, his everything. You wanted him to do everything to you that you dreamed of.
Oh fuck, you definitely are in love with him.
“Holy fuck—” you paused, staring at him, wide eyed at your realization.
“What?” He furrowed his brows.
You tried to control your overwhelming thoughts. “I just realized something…” you met his gaze, holding onto it tightly. “Are we…are we in love? I mean, I think at least I might be—”
“Holy shit, we might be,” Jongho gulped, a knowing smile curling at his lips. As if he knew this, at least on his end, for much longer than you have. He looked at you, then at his leg, and back at you. “Are you in love with me?”
“I think so?” you questioned, your chest aching. Jongho’s heart began to beat faster and faster, as seen on the monitor next to him. You leaned towards him, blushing as his heart rate jumped over one hundred. 
Jongho let out an anxious laugh. “You sound super confident.”
You would've kissed him right then and there, prove to him that you loved him, if it wasn't for that awful doctor. 
You helped jongho hobble out of the hospital, his leg wrapped in ice and his arms wrapped around you. You were hyper aware of the smell of sweat, the light remnant of his woodsy cologne. You heard his breath hitch as your fingertips curled around his arm as you walked toward the street for a cab.
“God, standing up really messed me up.” he wobbled a bit. “I don't know what they gave me, but fuck, I feel wonderful,” he giggled, nudging his head into the crook of your neck.
There was a mix of comfort and chaos as you got in the cab, his head on your shoulder, his hair a mess. His arm was slung over you, his eyes closed, his lips parted against your collarbone. He felt comforting, yes, but also his damn lips started to move against your skin.
“Jongho,” you breathed, trying to keep quiet as the cab driver carried on. “Stop it—”
“Mmmh,” he groaned into your neck, kissing it again, trailing up towards your jawline. 
“The fuck, did they give you viagra?” you nearly choked as his hand that was around your shoulder fell to your waist, tightening on the curve above your hip. His hand moved lower, past your hip, meeting the curve right before he could reach your—
“Hey,” you whisper yelled, smacking his cheek lightly. 
He opened his eyes, those brown irises sparkling despite the dark car. “Oh, its y/n,” he smiled, meeting your gaze, but you watched it fall to your lips. “You look pretty.”
You scoffed. “You don't know what you're talking about right now—”
“Oh, I do,” he smiled lopsidedly, his hand now coming up to cradle your cheek. “I know what i’m doing.”
You smirked. “I think you’re loopy.”
“Maybe a little,” he shrugged, smiling, his eyes curving into smiles too. “But I know what I want to do.”
You tilted your head, raising your brows. “And what’s that?”
He smiled villianously, teeth barred. “Do you really want to know?”
You held in your laugh, but managed to nod.
He took in a breath, letting it out in an exaggerated sigh. “I want to fuck you so bad,” he huffed, his head falling right back onto your shoulder. “So, so bad. I’ve always wanted to—”
“Jongho,” you blinked. “You’re high from pain meds, you don't know what you're—”
“Oh, but I do know,” he sat up quickly, eyes dazed, hair a mess on top of his head. He reached out a hand, tucking your hair behind your ears with a boyish smile. He focused on your face, on your eyes, your lips. His expression changed, his smile falling. “I wanted to tell you about how I feel about you.”
You bit your lip. “You did.” 
He waved a hand, flopping it around. “Nah, I didn't.”
“Yes, don't you remember?” you scoffed playfully. “We just had this whole talk like twenty minutes ago—”
“Aye, stop it, I had something to say but now I forgot!” he groaned, tossing his head back against the headrest. He then turned his head to your direction. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?”
“You just did,” you smiled.
“Oh, that’s right.” he swallowed, looking at your lips. “Did I ever tell you that I want to kiss you? Like, all the time?”
You shook your head, giving up on the fight against his high ass. 
“Well, I just want to kiss you, over and over again, and then when you started kissing me, I think I went crazy,” he blinked slowly, eyes covering every inch of your face. He leaned forward. “You really fucked me up, you know?”
You frowned. “Did I?”
“Pfft,” he huffed. “Are you kidding? You would change in front of me, lay in bed with me, touch me, everything I….” he swallowed hard. “How was I supposed to react to your tits? Your ass? You think i’ve never gotten hard from it?” you wanted to shut his nonsense up, but he kept going on. “I’ve had to literally leave just to jack off so you didn't find out—”
“Woah, woah,” you rose your eyebvrows. “You’re a mess right now, youll regret what you’re saying tomorrow—”
“I wont,” he sniffed, eyes meeting yours. “I’m done with acting like I don't think about you naked—”
“Jongho, shut it, we’re not alone—”
“We should be alone so I can do everything I want to you,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple. “God, I want to do everything to you.”
You wanted to push him away. You wanted to tell him no—but…his lips, his words, his breath felt so good, so intoxicating. He pressed a kiss to your jaw, to the corner of your lips. “Can we fuck now?”
You closed your eyes, taking in a breath. “The hell is wrong with you? We’re in a cab—”
He ignored you, his lips continuing to find their way around your face. “When we get back?”
You looked down at his knee, how it was wrapped, how much pain it had caused him. “You just hurt your leg, and you’re not in your right mind.”
“Oh, i’m completely in my right mind,” he kissed your ear, letting a little breath of air tickle you. “I’ve wanted this forever.”
You sighed, your breath shaking, your chest tight. You had absolutely no experience—you’ve never had sex, never did anything with a man other than what you were doing now, and the little kiss you gave seonghwa. 
“I’m a virgin,” you whispered softly, embarrased. However, you felt the most comfortable with jongho. He was your everything.
“So am I,” he admitted, smiling. “We can learn together.”
“God, we’re so lame,” you breathed, smiling. 
Jongho, however, did not care about any words. He nuzzled into your collarbone, pressing a kiss there, over and over again. 
“So, does that mean we can have sex?”
You assisted jongho into your building, helping him into the elevator and pressing your floor while he leaned against the wall. 
The silence was deafening. You were sure he was able to hear your heart beat through your chest.
As the doors closed, you let a sigh out. 
“y/n,” he breathed. Behind you, his eyes were on you.
“Hm?” you hummed, afraid to turn to him, afraid of what you would do, what he would do. 
“I love you,” he spoke. 
You’ve both basically said it only an hour before. Only then, it didn't feel real. Now, maybe it was the fact that Jongho’s eyes have cleared up, his expression was raw. He looked nervous, he looked anxious. This was all new, all foreign—but Jongho wasn't new, wasn't different. He’s always been him, been by your side, your rock, your everything.
“I….love you too, dummy.”
When the elevator reached your floor, it took you a second to move. You helped him down the hall, and when you reached your door, you paused.
“Do you…want to…” you trailed off, unsure if that was only the drugs talking earlier.
When you turned to jongho, he had a sinister smile on his face. 
“You mean,” he nodded toward your room. “What I think you mean?”
“Well, jeez,” you scoffed, turning around to open your door. “As if you weren't the one all over me in the cab—”
A second later, you both stood in the entrance of your room, both of your hearts beating like crazy.
He entered the room after you, slowly shutting the door. The room was dark—you weren't even trying to turn the lights on.
You turned to jongho, watching him stand with his fists at his sides, his fingers gripping the fabric of his basketball shorts.
“How do we…” you took in a sharp breath, meeting his gaze. His eyes were wide, dripping with love, lust, with so much. You weren't sure if they always looked like that, if they looked at you like that. Those eyes….
“Let’s just, he winced a bit as he stepped closer. “Just stay where you are.”
When he got close enough, you saw the worry in his expression. The hesitancy, the love. He looked up, and his eyes spoke a thousand unspeakable words. His hand reached out, pausing at the hem of your cheerleading uniform. 
You let out an anxious laugh at his face, as he looked so conflicted. You didn't say anything though, and after a moment, he tugged your top right over your head, grinning like a goofball at the red lacy bra you had on.
“For me?” he murmured, his hand subconsciously drifting to run over your skin, his fingertips pressing against the thin fabric of your bra. He met your gaze, his jaw tightening.
You reached for his top now, the loose jersey easily pulling over his head—the jersey that was hiding the soft curves of muscle. You’ve seen him shirtless many times, an unimaginable amount of times—but this time, it was different. You ran a hand down the pane of his chest, across the mounds of muscle, down his soft but muscular frame. He was perfect, absolutely sexy, breathtaking, gorgeous. 
He shivered under your touch, meeting your gaze. He moved to take his shorts off, but winced. “Hold on, i’ll take them off—” but you both leaned down at the same time, crashing your heads together, causing a storm of laughter.
“God, we’re so not good at this,” He chuckled, smiling bright even in the dark room.
“No, not really,” you grinned, reaching down at his hips, pulling his shorts off, tugging a bit at the erection that bulged out. You held in your pride, the fact that he was already so turned on by just taking your clothes off.
His shorts fell down to his ankles, his underwear with them, leaving him completely naked, completely vulnerable in front of you. He looked at you with those damn eyes, those irises that held every emotion possible for you.
You took a second to take him in, his thickness, his length. You swallowed hard, suddenly aware that…that would go inside you, and it would probably tear your virgin self to shreds.
He then gripped the waistband of your skirt, tugging you to him. He was slightly taller than you, so when your body hit his, you felt his cock against your lower stomach, feeling a pulsing ache in your body. His fingers glided against the bare skin of your waist as he pulled your skirt over your hips, and when they fell, you were left standing in your mismatched underwear, begging him to take it off of you, too.
However, he just stood there like a deer in headlights, staring at the curves of your body, and the smoothness of your skin. His mouth parted, his eyes grew wide, and his hands twitched to touch you, to ravage you, to swallow you whole as if you were roadkill and he was a vulture.
An anxious vulture.
He reached around you, the heat of his body warming you, and his hands clasped around the clip of your bra. He fiddled with it for a good moment, and as he started getting irritated that he couldn't get it, you laughed. “Goddamn this thing has you locked up like fort knox—”
“Do you want me to get it—”
“No, no, i’ll be extremely embarassed, let me do it.” he continued to try to get it off you, and finally, it fell off you, onto the ground, and Jongho stood with a proud smile on his lips. “Fuck yeah, finally.”
But, right after his words of triumph, his eyes fell to your full breasts. His eyes widened, and he gave into his desires, letting himself grab one, calloused fingers gliding against your nipple.
“Oh, fuck y/n,” he breathed, both his hands coming up to cradle your breasts, to feel you up. He took in a breath, eyes unable to leave your body. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”
He dipped his head, taking in a breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue over your nipple. You felt your stomach tighten, felt your wetness pool at your thighs. He looked up to your eyes as he sucked, and when he saw your ecstatic expression, he quickly pulled away.
He didn't spare an extra second to claw at your underwear, satisfyingly watching them fall to the ground, leaving you both completely naked in the middle of the room. He looked at you, love dripping from his chocolate eyes.
And thats when you gripped the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I don't do this very well,” you admitted, twirling your fingers in his hair. He didn't seem to even hear what you said as his eyes remained on your lips.
“God, we cant be friends anymore,” he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, he hesitated, lips hovering over yours, his breath shaky, tangling with yours. “Definetly not, fuck.”
You tilted your chin forward, lips so close, so so close. His hands found your hips, fingernails leaving marks in your skin. 
And with one last look into your eyes, jongho sighed, letting go of everything. He pressed his soft lips to yours, taking you in like he hasn't kissed you before. Like he’s always wanted to. He breathed into you, moving his hands to cradle your face, to get as close to you as possible. 
You arched your body against his, bucking your hips into his, and he grunted in response. You fell backwards onto the bed, him on top of you, but as you fell, he bit your lip so hard you let out a little yelp.
“Oh shit,” he gasped, parting from you, eyes wide with worry. “Are you okay? Did that hurt? I didn't mean to do that—-”
“Shh, shut your face,” you patted him on the cheek, giggling at his reaction. 
He adjusted himself on top of you. “Here, make sure you’re head’s on your pillow, I want you to be comfortable.” he adjusted you, too, and he looked so sincere and serious it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?” he asked, but couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, too. “Stop, this is serious.”
You laughed even more. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really cute.” you watched his eyes twinkle as he looked at you. “And you look so pretty on top of me.”
He smirked, holding back his giggle. “Stop it.”
“I’m just saying,” you reached a hand out to wrap around his neck, tugging his lips right back down to yours, kissing him softly. “Mhm. I cant get enough of this.”
He smiled into the kiss. “Me neither, I cant believe you’re under me right now.”
You couldn't help the blush that heated your cheeks. You were suddenly aware of his dick against your thighs, of your skin against his. You looked into his eyes, looked at how they were looking at you, how he held himself over you. 
And then, after a look of utter love, he smiled and kissed you. This time, he stuck his tongue into your mouth, running over the ridges of the roof of your mouth. You opened your mouth wider, deepening the kiss, knocking your nose against his. 
His lips parted as he gasped for air, his chest heaved against yours. His hand delicately glided up your ribs, meeting the skin of your breasts. He gripped your breast in his hand, moaning into your mouth, hips bucking into yours. You couldve sworn you felt his heartbeat through his chest as he made out with you, as his hands covered you. He pulled away only to make sure you still wanted this, and when you nodded, he reached down to line himself up with you. The concept of sex always felt so difficult. So worrisome, so new. But with jongho, it felt like you've done this forever.
“If it hurts, tell me,” he whispered against your lips, kissing you gently. “I’ll take care of you.”
You literally couldve came at those words. You swallowed hard, and forced out a nod.
He pecked your lips, smiling, kissing them again. His hands hesitated, not knowing what to touch as his tip pressed into your cunt, his breath shortening, sweat dripping down his forehead.
You reached out, gliding a hand across his cheek, across his lips, smiling up at him.
“I….” he hesitated before entering you. “Are you wet enough? Should I spit?”
He looked terrified. Absolutely terrified. So you ran a hand soothingly through his hair, watching his eyes shut tight in pleasure, in delight. “Don't worry about anything and just do it.”
“Okay,” he mumbled, letting out a little laugh. “Okay, okay.”
And then, his eyes bled into yours as he tilted his hips, pushing his cock slowly into you, so gently, as if he was terrified of hurting you. You watched his mouth part, watched his expression change to euphoria as he filled you, every inch sparking a new feeling. 
He snapped his hips, his length fully in you, and you nearly cried out from the feeling. You moaned as he moved slowly, clawing at his shoulders, this feeling unlike anything else—your damn vibrator held nothing on Jongho.
He relaxed his expression, his eyes fluttering open, looking right down on you. You met his gaze as he moved in and out of you.
“Does it hurt, if it hurts, I can stop—”
“Shut the hell up and fuck me, jongho,” you grumbled, your hands finding a home on his hips, the feeling of them snapping under your hands sent you spiraling. You moaned as his dick reached a new spot, as you felt your walls tighten around him. You wanted to cry out, rip your hair out, tear at his skin as you felt the intense crave for him. The way he looked down on you fueled the fire in your hips, in your back. You felt an ache in your hips, slamming your head back, fighting the urge to claw the bedsheets.
But then you sae his grimace, and you frowned. “Oh my god, you’re knee, you’re in pain.”
He kept moving, but he was definitely in pain. “I-I think the meds wore off—”
Without thinking, you pushed him off you, making him roll over so now he was the one on th bottom. You straddled him, looking at his shocked expression, how his breaths quickened, how his cock twitched for you. To be inside you. 
You had an unimaginable amount of knowledge from all your smutty books, so you might as well try to use what you know, right?
“y/n, what are you—”
“Let me please you,” you breathed, and with a slow, calculative movement, you sat on his dick, sliding his length into you, once again gaining the extreme pleasure of his expression and the absolute desperation he expressed. He gasped as you moved up and down on his cock, and he watched you, watched him dissapear into you. He slammed his head back into the pillow, his face contorting, moans fluttering through his lips, his eyebrows knitting together in pleasure and a million other things.
“God, fuck,” his hands gripped your hips as you rode him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his breaths shallow. He gasped for air. “You feel so good, oh my god. So fucking good.”
You tossed your head back, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smoothness of it. He blinked up at you, a smile on his lips, completely in bliss.
He moved his hands with you, nearly lifting you up as you moved on his cock, moved on his body. You forgot how strong he was.
“You sure you’ve never done this?” he gasped, his eyes shut tight. “Because fuck, this is better than I ever imagined.”
You smiled down on him, giddy at his words. You moved even faster, causing him to moan, and moan, and moan.
You didn't even know what to say—you just enjoyed his little commentary as he took you in, his gaze dripping like honey.
“Godamn,” he hissed, eyes meeting yours. He looked frantic. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he seethed, hips slamming up into yours. “Fuck, you’re so hot, so so hot.”
You felt him twitch inside you, felt your walls collapse. You began to see spots in your vision as he moved his hips, too, just as you were. You felt so much pride as he looked absolutely pathetic underneath you, his gaze hazy, his lips bright red from your kisses.
“I love you, I…love you,” he hissed out. “I love you.”
You reached your climax just from looking at him, crying out in a moan, leaning forward over his body. His hands flooded all over you, sending sparks at every touch, every spot of your body. And when you came, when you felt the rush of cum, the rush of the high finally hit, you continued to move as he did. Then, suddenly, his eyes grew so wide, he lifted you off his cock hastily, gasping for air.
You leaned back on his legs, onto your heels, trying to breathe, trying to see, as his hands grasped his own dick, moving up and down before he came, his cum shooting onto you, over your chest, your boobs, your stomach. You watched him gasp as it happened, his lips curling up in an embarrassed smile.
“Oh, oops,” he laughed, looking absolutely delectable with the hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes wide with pleasure. “Totally meant to do that….”
Something burned under your skin, something foreign, something you never felt before. You’ve only read about this feeling, this moment. But now, here you were. You just had sex, sex with your best friend, and it was the best thing you’ve ever felt before. You needed more, so so much more.
“Please tell me we can do that again,” you breathed, falling onto him, sticking to him, feeling the beat of his heart as you pressed your ear to his chest.
“Oh, fuck yes,” his hand wrapped around you, holding you to him. He pressed a gentle, exasperated his to the top of your head. “You don't even have to ask that, i’m planning on doing that all night.”
You moved a bit so you could lay against his side, totally forgetting about the cum on you that now got all over the place. “You seemed like you knew what you were doing for a virgin,” you side eyed him. “You have to be lying.”
He smirked, a light blush on his cheeks. “Uh, well,” he swallowed, eyes looking all over your face. “I mean, I have been thinking about what I would do if I ever got to sleep with you.”
You furrowed your brows. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Well I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted,” he looked down at your lips, at your body pressed to his. “Because of my damn knee, but,” he pressed a kiss to your nose. “That means we have to do this again.”
“Oh, baby,” you pinched his cheek. “We’ll be doing this way more than we probably should.”
He smiled, that blush still on his face, across his nose. He looked so beautiful, so so pretty, it actually hurt you to look at him.
You kissed him, kissed his lips, his nose, his flushed cheeks. 
And you looked at him, at his eyes, the same eyes you’ve known forever. 
“I love you, Jongho.”
The next morning, you parted ways with a sleepy jongho, late for your early class. You couldn't stop thinking about him all day, that is, until you ran into Mingi and San in the library cafe.
Mingi grinned like the cheshire cat, an eye smile brighter than the sun. “Well, hello there, you.”
You rolled your eyes as the line for the coffee moved. San and Mingi stood behind you, giggling like little kids.
“So, Jongho didn't come back last night,” San started, and you quickly cut in.
“So? He always stays in my room, its not anything odd—”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mingi crossed his arms, grinning. “But it is odd.”
“Why?” you crossed your arms, too, facing him. San stood by with a little chuckle.
“Because he came back to the room before his class and his jersey was on inside out—”
“So? He likes to sleep shirtless—”
“His lips were covered in red lipstick—”
“I don't know what you were talking about—”
“Oh, and he told me that he had sex with you—”
You slammed a hand against San’s mouth, giving him a death glare while mingi giggled like a school girl. You grimaced, pulling your hand away. “Shut up, or i’ll make you.”
“Ooh, so scary,” San waved his hands in the air dramatically. “Anyway, are you dating him now? You better date him, he’s been dreaming of that for so long.”
You blinked. “I mean, we said we loved each other, but nothing about dating….”
Mingi smirked. “Welp, guess you better go figure that out.”
After class, you found yourself in front of Jongho’s door, a shake in your breath as you knocked. He opened the door, shirtless, a smile on his face the minute he met your gaze.
And then he grabbed you by the waist and planted a big kiss onto your lips, smiling into it, and then pulled away.
“Hi,” you smiled.
“Hi.” he tilted his head, looking you up and down.
“I heard you told San everything.”
He bit his lip. “Was I supposed to keep it to myself?”
You shook your head, smiling.
“Do you want to come in?” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Mhm,” you nodded, following him in.
The minute the door shut, Jongho slammed you up against it, swallowing you whole with his mouth as he kissed you. His hands gripped the side of your head, tugging at your hair, causing you to let out a hiss. He took the opportunity of your open mouth to shove his tongue into you, exploring your mouth with pleasure. He moaned into you, and you couldn't help but moan yourself.
His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you up, slamming your back into the door as he held you to him. He then started to walk towards his bed, but you realized his injury.
“Jongho, you’re leg,” you breathed with worry, trying to get him to put you down. “You’ll hurt yourself—”
“Shut up,” he spoke into your mouth, indeed shutting you up immediately. You sighed as he kissed you, as he touched you. He gently set you down onto his bed, and you went under his duvet since he kept his room like an icebox. 
He followed you suit, crawling on top of you under the covers, but you had a better idea. Once again, you flipped him so he was on his back, and with one quick look at the shock in his gaze, you kissed his collarbone, then his chest, down his sternum, over the soft muscle of his stomach. You slowly pulled his pants down over his cock, his underwear along with them.
You felt his muscles tighten underneath your lips, you heard his breath hitch as you moved lower and lower, until your lips met the soft skin of his hard cock. He gasped his hands searching for you under the covers, his legs moving in pleasure as you licked his tip.
“Oh my…oh…” he arched his back against your kiss, your hands holding onto his hips as you surrounded your mouth around his erection. He thrashed against you, absolutely liquid in your embrace.
But before you could take him fully, the door of his room opened, and in came san blabbing about god knows what.
You quickly moved, trying to lay flat the best you could to hide. Jongho sat up fast, pulling the blanket up and bunching it around his dick, making sure it wasn't so obvious that you were under there….and that he was literally throbbing hard.
“I ran into y/n earlier, she admitted to it!” san roared, and you assumed he was taking his shoes off considering the sound. “Good for you buddy, I know how long you wanted to tap that—”
“Ah, yeah,” Jongho awkwardly laughed. You wish you could see the look on his face, the embarrassment. Just how long did he want you?
You couldn't help but stroke your hand against his dick, causing him to gasp.
“You alright?” San questioned, now making his way to the other side of the room. 
You continued to rub him. Jongho gripped the blanket tight.
“Peachy,” Jongho grunted.
San didn't speak for a while.
“Are you gonna finally ask her out?”
You paused.
Jongho sighed. “Huh?” he was totally out of it.
“I mean, you’ve been in love with y/n for ages, you might as well make if official while you can.”
“Am I?” Jongho swallowed hard. “Am I in love with her?”
“Ah shut up, you know it,” San scoffed,and a bed creaked—assumingly his. You decided to continue to suck Jongho off, taking him in your mouth, causing him to jolt.
“I uh, i’ll ask her out later,” Jongho took in a breath. “But, um, do you think you could….you know, give me a moment?”
“A moment, why—”San paused, then gasped. “Are you beating your meat right now? Oh fuck man, my bad!”
You nearly cackled against Jongho at the way they conversed with each other, how normal it seemed. It made you wonder how often this happened, how often Jongho did this to himself, how many times he thought about you while doing it…
That turned you on even more.
The minute you heard the door shut, you tossed the covers over your head, meeting Jongho’s shocked, mind-boggled expression.
“Jeez, y/n, fuck,” he couldn't help but smile as he looked at you, as you sucked him. “You’re a freak.”
“Well, you should see the things I read,” you chuckled, and then licked up the column of his cock, causing him to take hold of your head.
He shoved you up and down on his dick, his fingers tearing into your scalp, causing you to choke on him. He groaned, moaned, hummed every note possible, and then without warning, he came into your mouth, his body going still, his eyes open wide as he watched you swallow his load.
Oh, he tasted better than you ever imagined. 
His saltiness still coated your lips as you leaned over to kiss him, his eyes lost in you. He looked so in love, so in lust, in everything.
“Are you gonna ask me out?” you asked in between kisses.
“Mhm,” he leaned into your kiss, not wanting to break apart. 
“Are we dating now?”
Kiss.
He blinked, looking up at you. His smile defined beauty, his lips desire. 
“If you’d like.”
“Of course.”
You kissed him once more, wrapping your arms around his neck, rolling around in bed with him. He chuckled, smiled, nuzzled his head into you. 
“I have practice,” you kissed his cheek, trying to get up, but his arms wrapped around you, holding you to him. “I have to go.”
“One more minute,” he mumbled into your ear as he nibbled it, then kissed it. “Just a minute.”
You smiled. “Okay, fine, I guess I can spare a minute.”
He held you, breathed in your scent, his scent on your lips. He didn't let go, even after the minute, and you hand to force yourself out of his hold.
“Meet me in my room tonight?” you raised a brow,
He nodded. “Of fucking course.”
You quickly tried to fix your hair up, tucking it behind your ears, before you gave your boyfriend a wink while you walked out.
And, funny enough, when you shut the door behind you and turned around, San stood there, smirking devilishly.
“Well damn, when’s it my turn?”
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My girlfriend requested this
Hazbin men trying the period simulator. Somewhat of a follow up to my period post so this is based on the reader having severe period pain due to PCOS/ENDO
Lucifer
The man is sweating before you even attach the simulator. He knows he fucked up. He only agreed to this because he loves you a lot.
He handles the first 3 levels ok. You tell him very few women experience that little pain and that usually 4-6 is the average.
Those levels make him tense. He's uncomfortable, but still pretty able to work and do normal things. 5 has him pausing to do deep breaths every now and then. (If this is the canon timeline where he birthed Charlie he compares it to bad kicks).
6-8 he's pretty much doubled over. If you tell him that's the level you experience, he will cry. Literally begs forgiveness since again, period and labor pain is technically his fault. He is so sorry. If he didn't have issues with his Dad before he does now because this is fucked up. God's fucked up for doing this.
He doesn't make it to 10, he's crying by level 9. This is labor levels of pain. He gets why all you do is sleep. Treats your period like a sacred ritual after that. Preps for weeks. He goes full Bible, sheltering you for the duration of it so you can have peace and quiet. Please never hook him up to this again.
If you wear it at anything from an 8-10 and tell him "It's close, but I've hurt worse" he's gonna sob and then try and fight his Old Man again. He'll settle for offering to have your bits removed for you.
Vox
Once again this man hates admitting he was wrong. And yeah he knows your periods are really bad, especially now he's witnessed it. But it's still a huge knowledge gap for him and he doesn’t really take the time to think about it.
He handles 1-5 well. He's mildly uncomfortable by 5, but thinks that if this is the average experience, then it's not such a big deal. Tell him the statistics on how many people with periods actually experience 6-8 because that's actually the majority, and he's just confused. How is the average pain level not the most common?
6-8 has him gritting his teeth and glitching, but he refuses to stop and keeps trying to work. Is starting to wonder how you went so long working with this level of pain without him noticing.
He makes it to 10, but by then, he's unable to move, clutching his abdomen and sparking and glitching. Tells you it feels like his entire insides are being squeezed. The fact that he can feel it in his groin. He's kind of afraid of period sex with you after that because of how much he felt it. And you said it's caused cramps from your ribs to your knees. He's like... genuinely scared of your period and pain tolerance.
He's going to snuggle the fuck out of you afterwards and apologize for not appreciating how much you still do for him when you're not feeling good. How he didn't see how hurt you were. He does a lot of research after that and not only does he spoil you by buying whatever you need for your periods and giving you time off, he looks into treatment options. Even if that means chopping the useless fucking things out. Sinners can't have kids anyway so who needs ovaries and a uterus?
He's more convinced you should just be rid of the damn things when you wear it and 8-10 is "Yeah, this is close, but it doesn't really cover how much of my body hurts".
Valentino
Is only doing this because he was dared to by Velvette. Or if this an au where he's trying to be a less toxic person. But really I think it's also to prove that you're all being dramatic. It's a perfectly normal body function and his employees are just trying to get out of work.
He gets all the way to 6 before he starts to realize he may have fucked up. Especially when it's explained that this is what most people experience.
By 10 he's gritting his teeth, chain smoking, clawing at things. He refuses to give in, but he can count on one hand the number of things in his entire life and death as a pimp and a whore that he's experienced that come close to this level of pain.
No one told him his dick was gonna hurt. Sitting hurts. Breathing hurts. He doesn't even try to eat. He won't ever admit to being wrong, but he does behave more leniently with his actors when they're on their periods.
If you put it on (and lets say he actually cares about you) and setting 8-10 is "Yeah, this an average day for my cramps. My bad days are like..5 or 6 levels worse" it's gonna rearrange his brain a little. He might be a little afraid of you and some of the other actors with periods because your pain tolerances are so high. It threatens his ability to control you and them. But on the other hand, that's kinda hot???
Alastor
Has never once doubted that people who experience periods undergo serious struggle and has nothing but respect for women (and trans people he just associates it with women more because of the time period and his mama) who work through it.
He is actually the one who heard about the simulator through Rosie and asks you to show him your experience. Just to better understand you. He knows you're the type to try and function through the pain (probably because society ingrained into you that your pain doesn't matter).
Initially, he wants to skip the lower levels and just have you set it to your pain level. You tell him that's a bad idea, and to be honest, you're not sure if this thing goes that high. He asks you to check and you set it to the highest setting and say, "It's pretty close. It's been worse, but this is a rough idea," he's a little frustrated but still tries it.
You agree to set it to 4 and tell him 4-6 is what most people report feeling. He acknowledges it, registers it as unpleasant, but otherwise is fully capable.
7-9 has his ears flat, his smile is more a snarl. This is uncomfortable. Not what he considers painful but certainly irritating. It makes sitting, stretching, and eating feel much more difficult.
10. There's static visble around him. His teeth grind. Actually painful. Not the worst pain he's experienced, but he hates it. He hates the way he feels it in his back and hips as he walks. He hates the way taking deep breaths (which for someone as dramatic as he is and with the transatlantic accent, breathing technique and posture is important) stings. He hates the way it causes his stomach to cramp and churn. He hates the ache in his thighs and groin that make sitting feel stiff and ackward. He can only picture how blood loss would make this worse. Tired, losing nutrients, the headaches, the increased moodiness. It's no wonder you sleep, so much, but he wonders how the Hell you sleep like this? He's snappy and short tempered because of the pain (and again he gets why you would be if you weren't sleeping so much).
How does this affect how he treats you?
Not much. He still expects you to know your body and your limits. He would never dare to presume otherwise. He still helps prepare whatever you need for your time of the month and still meal plans for you, though he perhaps finds ways to ensure you get all the iron and vitamins you need without cooking steak and other big, heavy meals, since he now understands how bad your stomach hurts.
The only really noticeable change is how much more protective of you he is. Your time of the month hits, and Alastor hates being more than a few moments from you. He growls, pins his ears, and his antlers grow when people get too close to you. He's more prone to letting you snuggle with him when you want, trying to comfort you.
Angel Dust
Another who volunteered. His girl besties insist he doesn't have to do this, he's got the pass. He still wants to do it though, for solidarity.
He also starts on 4 and handles it well. He handles all of the levels pretty well, even 10. By 7 it's obvious he's sore, maybe a bit more withdrawn, exhausted, trying not to move too much or eat too much. Just trying to find a comfortable way to exist. The sad problem is, Angel already has to do this after rough nights at Val's.
He's used to sitting being uncomfortable and aches in his groin and thighs, cramps in his stomach from muscles clenching constantly. 10 is the only level where he's visibly ill, hunched over, lower arms curled around his midsection protectively.
He and the girlies all curl up together and nap and chat and snack on easy to digest junk food and granola bars. He's the first one to say "I bet it's even worse for you gals, but I tried".
He gets it. He's one of the girls. Honestly, kind of becomes a favorite when the ladies have period problems. (If you're dating any of the others and Angel is openly your favorite after this it is gonna cause a lot of dramatic pouting, posturing, and tantrum throwing.)
Husk
I'm going full balls to the wall on Veteran Husk. This man has seen some shit and dealt with his fair share of pain. Like Angel he takes it the best, with very little outward reaction. He's used to stiffness and nausea. The pain in his crotch is a little off putting, but it could be worse.
He's more cautious how he moves, rests more, occasionally a cramp causes his ears to pin back or a small hiss. Overall he takes it like a champ.
Offers you endless amounts of supportive words for dealing with this as well as you do, for days on end. Also is deeply sorry you even have to put up with this shit. Offers all sorts of tips on how to do stretches that help with easing cramps and stiffness without pulling something. Tips of foods/protein drinks to keep on hand to make sure you're maximizing how much nutrition you get. Man's a whole ass survival guide.
He only offers advice if you ask, though. He's not mansplaining how to handle your own body. He genuinely wants to help you, and that's the best way he knows how.
When you're on your period and just want something soft and warm he doesn't even bitch about it, he just settles on top of you and purrs, offers a massage, maybe offers a sly grin and a "no man left behind" joke as he helps you through these dark times.
BONUS:
ADAM
Would only do this if you challenged him, he has to prove his masculinity. He is definitely nervous as fuck though because he's seen yours. You and Lute already forced him to sit through a whole PowerPoint on women's anatomy and shit. He remembers how shitty he was to Eve, even if hers were in comparison, not that bad, just scary and new.
You forcing him to learn about and acknowledge female health is making him scared of pussy. This isn't gonna help.
3 and 4 make him whiney. He's uncomfortable. His groin feels weird. This sucks. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T EVEN THE AVERAGE?!"
By 5-7 he's actually on his knees, curled over his stomach. He tells you getting stabbed hurt less. This is making him re-evaluate his entire view on women (again he knows about trans people, but because of personal history equates periods to women. Wouldn't hate if a trans person had a period, it would just take his brain a second to process). He whines that you and Lute shouldn't be more badass than him.
"I thought men were supposed to be tougher and stronger. This pain tolerance horseshit is a lie. You guys suck."
He insists on going to 10 because quitting is for losers. He may actually throw up at 10 though. Every time the stupid simulators sends out a pulse and his stomach clenches, he groans. He's in the featal position, there are tears. One hand clenches his stomach the other is cupped around his groin. He's apologizing so much and he doesn't even remember what he's apologizing for. At one point its just "I'm sorry...oh fuck this...sorry about...ugh just...just men?! I guess. Fucking shit ass. Men suck. Women are...fucking great. Aces. You do this shit every month? For like 5 days....what the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck."
You feel a little bad, but Lute is definitely filming this. Afterwards, he tells you you're a badass and any person shit talking people for bitching about period pain (Not that a lot of Winners do, but ya know, obviously they let some questionable people into Heaven if Adam and Lute got by) he's gonna beat the shit out of them. Like "Do you even fucking know, bitch? They're literally so much fucking better than you. Absolute queens. You try doing literally anything when it feels like your dick is falling off and your insides are trying to claw outside your body!"
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dollyyun · 10 days
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───── ⋆⋅☆ 1st batch of upcoming wips (oct-nov)
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SYNOPSIS ✧ getting blackmailed by an anonymous caller who clearly has the upper hand in destroying what you have worked for in keeping your identity as the renowned faceless camgirl as a secret is definitely not in your bingo card. but you cannot risk of having your side hustle as a camgirl to be exposed to the world, and so you find yourself entering the all-exclusive club upon invitation with the intention to complete your mission in seducing the four notorious figures on campus for some reason. unknowingly, as your irresistible allure serenades them like a siren to the sailors, you soon find yourself in a heady mix of lust and danger orchestrated by them, intoxicating you with their devilry charms and corruptions. PAIRINGS ✧ hyung line x camgirl!reader GENRE ✧ reverse harem, eventual poly, college au WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), mean!hyung line, explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, substance use, smoking, corruption, manipulation, coercion, perversion, toxicity, smut
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SYNOPSIS ✧ living under one roof with an omega whose pheromone smells progressively irresistible is getting impossible to ignore as they struggle to master self-control. they should not be desiring you, especially not when you're a haughty, spoilt brat who constantly never fails to get on their nerves, but they can't deny their primal instinct to claim you as their mate despite their possessive nature refusing to share you, even if they are best friends. all inhibitions are lost as soon as you plead with them to help you ease your pain in your most vulnerable state yet desirable in their ravenous eyes. just like that, they lose themselves in the heat, showing you how much you will always need them and claiming you as their omega for good. PAIRINGS ✧ alpha!hyung line x omega!reader GENRE ✧ reverse harem, eventual poly, alpha-omegaverse, enemies to lovers, slow-burn kinda, hyung line older than reader by few years WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), pissed-off alphas, bratty omega, explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, manipulation, coercion, perversion, angst, toxicity, filthy smuts
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SYNOPSIS ✧ marriage is not something heeseung wants to be fully committed to, especially when he values his singularity the most and wants no strings attached, but he also desires the position for the next-in-line succession and refuses to lose against his great nemesis, who turns out to be his own blood. so when the requirement for him entails marriage in order to secure his spot, dread hits him, but the solution comes to mind instantly at the thought of you. you are in the same friend group as him, which began in university, and despite not being as close as he is with the others in your friend group, he knows that you are a perfect candidate. so when he has made an enticing offer that is beneficial to you, you know you can't refuse him. hence, you agreed to be his wife until he attained his goal, but little did you know that your feelings eventually develop into something beyond platonic. PAIRING ✧ fake husband!heeseung x fem reader GENRE ✧ adulthood, fake marriage, friends to lovers, he fell first but she fell harder WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, possible violence, light angst, smut
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SYNOPSIS ✧ jay is your husband on paper just as you are his wife on paper, so you have long since acknowledged that he would never love you as a husband should. after all, your marriage is purely a convenience — one that jay got blackmailed by your father. jay despises your father with burning passion, so naturally, you assume that his cold detachment towards you is his hatred for you as well since you are your father's daughter, but that does not hinder you from developing feelings towards your feared husband, who is widely known as a heartless beast in the mob world. it is abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with you, and so you attempt to diminish those feelings, only to be taken aback when he finally shows you how much he values you as his wife more than you would have thought. PAIRING ✧ mafia husband!jay x fem reader GENRE ✧ mob world/mafia, marriage of convenience, morally grey character, grumpy x sunshine dynamic, jay is lowkey a softie towards reader WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, smoking, corruption, manipulation, coercion, angst, violence, blood, toxicity, smut
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SYNOPSIS ✧ for as long as you can remember, jake proposed to you as he had fallen deeply in love with you, yearning for you to spend forever with him, even after there was a long period where he mysteriously disappeared from your life. the two years of your marriage had been nothing but pure bliss, especially when he was madly in love with you just as you are with him. so when jake finally revealed his true colours to you right after succeeding his revenge against your father and annihilating the entirety of your bloodline as well as your father's clan, you were left with nothing, not even jake's love, which you thought was real. filled with despair, resentment, betrayal, and heartbreak, you can't go on any longer and plead jake to divorce you, but he refuses and continues to show you cruelty by keeping you by his side if it means that you will remain unhappy forever, as the thought of you finding happiness elsewhere angers him because you don't deserve happiness. he vows to make your life miserable and diminish your self-worth, not realising that tragedy will soon dawn in his life just as it did to his beloved parents. PAIRING ✧ mafia husband!jake x fem reader GENRE ✧ mob world/mafia, marriage, lovers to enemies to strangers WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, smoking, violence, blood, corruption, manipulation, coercion, toxicity, heavy angst, smut
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SYNOPSIS ✧ jungwon firmly believes that he is not destined to have a soulmate, and he prefers to stay that way as he cannot risk endangering his other half with his own presence. out of the seven princes, jungwon is cursed to be a bloodthirsty beast, even worse than any other ripper, and almost every supernatural fears him at the power and savagery he revels in. so when destiny leads him to you, he refuses you as his soulmate, especially when you're a human. he fights valiantly against his primal desire to claim you, fearing that he would hurt you, but with the enticing smell of your blood and your undeniable beauty, he knows that he is bound to have you in his eternal embrace. PAIRING ✧ vampire prince!jungwon x human!fem reader GENRE ✧ modern fantasy, supernatural, romance, soulmates WARNING(S) ✧ 18+ (mdni), explicit themes, profanities, alcohol consumption, violence, blood, manipulation, coercion, toxicity, violence, blood, angst, smut
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@sunpov @punchbug9-blog @ja3yun @yunhoswrldddd @woniefull
@melonvrs @lovekyr @lovzwoni @loljaeyunz @jaehoonii
@nshmrarki @emberuby @ivesti @cyjhhyj @yzzyhee
@nyxtwixx @criminaluvr @surrik-i @heeshlove @jungwonmeover
@roslayy @jiryunie @wonnienyang
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astonmartinii · 7 months
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it's got to be time travel | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem footballer!reader
face claim: jessie fleming (i'm a chelsea fan and i'm sad she left :()
they've got all the time in the world for each other, don't ask them where they got that time from though
note: we're also gonna pretend that the women's football and f1 seasons line up here lol
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | MY SMALL BUSINESS
charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, lewishamilton and 1,203,784 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: last sunday lunch before we both have to go back to work :(
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user1: ffs why do their ACTUAL jobs have to get in the way of my regularly scheduled charles x y/n content???
user2: i personally think that the fia should just give charles the championship and y/n the WSL title so they can just chill together :)
maxverstappen1: not on my watch
charles_leclerc: you don't even follow me? get out of my comments
maxverstappen1: you can't just get given the championship because you have attachment issues WE ALL HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES
charles_leclerc: me i get, but y/n doesn't deserve to win?
maxverstappen1: i never said that. y/n is girlboss slay queen
yourusername: too right i am
charles_leclerc: why are you peace and love with her and not me?
maxverstappen1: she's cool, you aren't
yourusername: can't disagree with that babe soz
user3: i have a feeling that these spats might get worse the longer charles is separated from y/n
user4: waa waa we're all sad their being separated but all i'm thinking is UP THE CHELS
user5: i need the treble right fucking now, a charles championship would be a bonus i guess
lewishamilton: will i get a formal introduction to y/n before we're teammates?
yourusername: YES, YES YOU WILL
charles_leclerc: i guess that answers that
lewishamilton: don't hate the player, hate the game
yourusername: i better see your ass at kingsmeadow at some point, it's fun, even if others think they're too good for it
lewishamilton: i'll be there 🫡
user7: can 2025 come quick.... PLEASE
user8: lol does this mean that charles has offered to take carlos to a game but he didn't go?
user9: ugh what a bore
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,402,667 others
tagged: chelseafcw
yourusername: excited for the new season back with the girlypops :))))))
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user10: treble or nothing I BEG
user11: it's their year for the champions league i've seen the script
alexalbon: no seatbelt ? way to set dangerous examples to your young audience
yourusername: if you're not careful i'm gonna teach my audience how to put their foot up the ass of those annoying her
alexalbon: ugh i hope you lose :P
yourusername: i don't have to hope, i know your ass ain't gonna be in q3
alexalbon: that's TOO far @charles_leclerc does our years of friendship mean nothing?
charles_leclerc: sorry buddy, i am y/n stan first, human being second
yourusername: as he should.
user12: so like... will we see charles in a y/n jersey again in the paddock?
user13: @ferrari stop being so annoying and let him wear what he wants
user14: i think i tasted paradise when they actually let him wear a y/n canada jersey in montreal
charles_leclerc: never seen someone make blue look so good
maxverstappen1: i'm right here?
sebastianvettel: did the homoeroticism of our challenge videos mean nothing?
danielricciardo: do not lie to yourself
yourusername: sorry sluts, you wish you looked this good
charles_leclerc: they'll never be you 🫶🏻
user15: i know the cfcw admin and pr department have a heart attack every time y/n posts
user16: the way she's out here calling three f1 drivers sluts with no repercussions
yourusername: can't be told off for telling the TRUTH
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f1
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liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,205,489 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
f1: couple goals! charles leclerc takes pole in bahrain while his girlfriend, y/n y/ln, scored the winner for chelsea women!
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user19: okay but i've never been in a relationship and am currently rotting on my couch... so who is the real winner here x
yourusername: my handsome boy is so talented :3
charles_leclerc: not as talented as you, pretty girl
yourusername: nuh uh at least my team is competent
charles_leclerc: errrrr
samkerr20: i think you broke him lol
yourusername: sometimes i think he's more loyal to ferrari than me
charles_leclerc: no!
scuderiaferrari: huh?
charles_leclerc: wait...
yourusername: i see :(
charles_leclerc: i'm LOGGING OUT
user20: charles is so lover boy stuck in his tortured poets department (ferrari formula one team)
user21: the way he's probably yelling down the phone to y/n about how much he loves her right now
samkerr20: he is and it's so loud the whole locker room can hear it
yourusername: but he's so sweet isn't he
niamhcharles17: i guess?
alexalbon: we heard it from his side... barf
yourusername: @lilymunhe are you being starved of romance?
lilymunhe: compared to you and charles YES
alexalbon: ummmm get out of my business y/ln
yourusername: you're ALWAYS in my business buster 🤨
alexalbon: NO! i am just passing down the ancient skill of communication?
yourusername: you're such a gossip girl alex
user21: i know they bicker like siblings, but i know deep down that there have been double dates
charles_leclerc: yes, but y/n and i are much better (no offence lily)
yourusername: did you log back in to restart the argument with alex
charles_leclerc: yes!
alexalbon: boo you whore
yourusername: don't talk to him like that 🤨
samkerr20
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 303,445 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
samkerr20: forced to hang out with the straights... they're actually kind of cute
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user22: you know the couple has to be real cute when even the gays think they're cute
user23: no one can resist the charms of y/n and charles
yourusername: these photos make me think that we are cuter
samkerr20: we are but i didn't want to hurt charles' feelings
charles_leclerc: consider them hurt
samkerr20: boo hoo
yourusername: noooooo i love you xxx
charles_leclerc: hehehehehehehe i love you too xxx
yourusername: i miss you, hurry up and win and come home to me
charles_leclerc: i'm doing my best :(
yourusername: you are the bestest boy
samkerr20: STOP THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE A DOG
oscarpiastri: when will australians stop being victims of this relationship
danielricciardo: this is your first season dealing with them properly, buckle up
oscarpiastri: i'm in a relationship but they make me feel so lonely
maxverstappen1: you get used to it after a while
yourusername: we're right here
landonorris: let us commiserate in peace
charles_leclerc: ??? do you or do you not get free football tickets out of it?
landonorris: yeha but when we go we just have to watch you cry when y/n inevitably wins another trophy
charles_leclerc: I'M PROUD OF HER AND YOU WON'T SHAME ME FOR THAT
user24: chelsea women players must be so confused when these grown men start arguments in the comments of THEIR posts
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,529,556 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: weekend off... you know what that means
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user25: i know there's over 1.5 million likes but how can i gatekeep y/n?
user26: for real
charles_leclerc: the best weekends are with you here
yourusername: i may have a love/hate relationship with this team, but the catering is banging (i may have to move to italy)
chelseafcw: NO MENTIONS OF LEAVING CHELSEA, NOT EVEN A JOKE - NOTHING!
yourusername: okay, sorry guys (the pasta was so good though)
charles_leclerc: not even for me?
chelseafcw: DEFINITELY NOT FOR YOU, WATCH OUT OR WE'LL BLACKLIST YOU FROM KINGSMEADOW
yourusername: okay, let's pedal this back. i'm not leaving london and we all still love charles, right admin?
chelseafcw: .... yes
user27: when you're in a who has attachment issues with y/n y/ln and your competition is the chelseafcw admin and charles leclerc
user28: no point even showing up
maxverstappen1: i for one am glad when y/n is in the paddock because it means i can sneak in without the cameras seeing me
yourusername: i am a woman of the people
charles_leclerc: she's such a star, everyone wants to see her
maxverstappen1: yeah i'll give you that
yourusername: we're also hot
charles_leclerc: don't you dare respond to that one max
maxverstappen1: 🫡🫡🫡
user29: patiently waiting for the hq photos of them 😚
user30: gonna print them out and put them in my heart locket
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charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,398,452 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: babe is top of the league (and top scorer)
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user33: get yourself a guy who flexes your achievements as much as charles does
user34: setting the example tbf
yourusername: my lucky charm, that hat-trick was for you xx
charles_leclerc: would mean more if you didn't score them every week 😭
yourusername: they hate to see a girlboss winning
charles_leclerc: wanna share some wins with me?
yourusername: you're doing great this season babe, not your fault that nasa decided to rebrand to red bull racing
redbullracing: adrian says thanks 😊
charles_leclerc: DON'T SAY IT Y/N
yourusername: you don't even know what i was going to say
charles_leclerc: ....
yourusername: @redbullracing you got a seat???
charles_leclerc: Y/N!!!!!!!!!!
yourusername: whoops
user35: y/n really out here trying to get charles that damn seat
yourusername: i'll stop when the horse team makes a championship worthy car that they don't break halfway through the season...
user36: add ferrari to the group of people who shudder in fear when y/n posts
chelseafcw: fine... we hope you enjoyed (no more italy jokes)
charles_leclerc: i had a great time, i always do when i watch y/n do what she loves (slay)
yourusername: awwwwwwwwww i love you charlie
chelseafcw: okay no need to make admin feel that lonely, damn
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,782,309 others
yourusername: finishing my best ever season with a big trophy haul :) now time to support my trophy husband in his day job
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user41: she really be out here doing it all
user42: i need her to win the Ballon d'Or Féminin PLEASE IT IS TIME
user43: with charles in attendance, first couples red carpet appearance YES, YES RUN IT TO ME PLEASE
charles_leclerc: unbelievably proud of you, mon amour, constantly inspired by you
yourusername: i love you so much, thank you for being there to support me through it all
charles_leclerc: it's the biggest pleasure in the world
yourusername: i'm all out of winning this season, your turn next weekend?
charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything
user44: PLEASE I NEED HIM TO WIN GOOD PLEASE
alexalbon: congrats i guess, you're pretty good
yourusername: thanks, since my boyf is so supportive, it's only natural that you have to try and humble me at every turn
alexalbon: you're more famous than us now, we need to keep you grounded
lilymunhe: don't worry y/n he cried nearly just as much as charles when you won the WSL
yourusername: I KNEW IT
charles_leclerc: i still cried more
alexalbon: it's not a competition bro, we all know you're both helplessly in love
yourusername: that we are
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,309,855 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: happiest when i'm with you (and whoever has decided to tag along), oh and winning a race helps as well i guess
view all comments
user45: CHARLES WIN I REPEAT A CHARLES WIN WE WON?
user46: the way y/n went just as mental as us, her and zecira jumping around the garage (and starting the champagne shower after the podium)
user47: really proving that y/n and charles really are each other's biggest fans
user48: thank the lord the WSL season finished when it did so y/n could be there for this win
user49: y/n would've ran to austria to be there i'm sure
yourusername: you know it 🫡
maxverstappen1: had to let you win so you could look cool in front of your infinitely cooler girlfriend
charles_leclerc: not even gonna bite, i'm too happy to care
yourusername: i'll bite - HIS TALENTED BEHIND SCHOOLED YOUR ASS
maxverstappen1: but i called you cool?
yourusername: i'll accept the compliment now, i had to defend charles' honour first
charles_leclerc: heheheehe i'm blushing
maxverstappen1: gross
user50: i need y/n to permanently be in the ferrari garage, they were on it today (i think out of fear)
landonorris: damn i thought i thirdwheeling lestappen was bad, but y/n and charles is a different beast
yourusername: we're both athletes, need to savour the time we have together when we can
charles_leclerc: sorry not sorry you'll get it when you're in love
landonorris: .... i guess i'll die then
fin.
note: i hope you enjoyed !!!! one last WIP to go and good lord the writers block is kicking my ass. but f1 being back should help!!! + f1 academy, much enjoyed it so far.
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boopshoops · 8 months
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KJNGDSKJGNSDKJGNSDKJ ITS FINALLY FINISHED!! ITS DONE!! AFTER 57 HOURS OF WORK!!!!
I am so so so so so happy with how this turned out. This is the official teaser comic for my fanfic, The Creation of a Villain, available to read on my AO3.
I have so much planned, and I'm gradually restoring a healthy relationship with my writing, and I'm very excited to share it.
For those who are interested, I've got a few more teasers on what I have planned in store. (Marked with * if it contains mild spoilers for TCOAV)
-Adding onto the established magic system.
-Adding onto established classes/lessons.
-*MC happens to be just as horrible of a person as most of the students here, resulting in some gradual changes to the canon that become more and more noticeable as time passes.
-It's an aged up AU where NRC is an actual college, so characters get mild additions to backstories (as well as some height changes).
-*Lots of possible headcanons for Royal Sword Academy, including a B/side plot with another MC that is a student there.
-Inclusion of canon events, as well as some I create on my own.
-I love exploring character development, so there's gonna be more of that :>
-*She does, indeed, get attached.
-A lot more!!!
Thank you so so so so so so SO much for reading. It means a lot to me. If you have the time, I would REALLY appreciate a reblog given this took so much time to make. If not, that's alright too. I appreciate y'all either way <3
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Expect more of this Yuu in the future! An official introduction post for her is planned and will soon be in the works.
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maskedbyghost · 16 days
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soulmate au where a device exists that shows a picture of your soulmate. simon has always avoided anything to do with fate or love, but Johnny persuades him to try it as a joke. reluctantly, he does—and when your image appears, something stirs in him that he hasn't felt in years. there's an undeniable connection, but Simon knows better than to let himself get too attached to an ideal. a few months later, you became a new member of their team, but you're nothing like he imagined. you're constantly grumpy, and you immediately make it clear you don’t like him. life works in mysterious ways, and your fate keeps pushing you together, forcing you to confront what the soulmate bond truly means.
(wym you don't like him girl???)
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myspacebrat · 1 month
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˗ˏˋ rafe and his it girl au ˎˊ˗
moodboard
summary: rafe sends you money to treat yourself with a mani and pedi while he’s away on some business, so to thank him you send him a picture like this.
18+ MDNI
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a ding and vibration goes off in your purse as you reach for your coffee the barista has just set down on the counter, you take a sip of the sweet foam before reaching for your phone. today’s been a stressful day for you and you just want a coffee and some self care to feel better. on top of that, your boyfriend’s away on business and you want nothing more than to snuggle in his arms after the day you’ve had, but instead you have to go home and unwind, alone.
you unlock your screen manually since the stupid thing can’t detect your face with your sunglasses on, just another minor inconvenience to piss you off.
your heart speeds up and butterflies flutter in your belly at the notification.
get your pretty nails and toes done baby, on me.
with an attachment for $350, thats been sent via cash app.
you exhale a deep breath, feeling like after such a long, fucked up day, you could finally breathe. you’re not surprised by this little gesture though, Rafe was always taking care of you, always showing you how much you’re on his mind and how much he loves you, but it never fails to make you giddy.
thank you daddy, I love you. you text back, before making your way to your car with the vigor you didn’t have before you got here.
a fresh set and pedicure always gives you a boost of confidence, and you were feeling yourself a little too much when you got back to you and Rafe’s shared condo. you took a bubble bath, shaved, lathered yourself in lotion and put on a sexy black silk nightie just for funsies, until another text came through.
did you get em done? let me see. daddy loves you too, princess.
you giggle at the text as a throb pulses between your legs, you went without panties so nothing was stopping you from bringing your newly manicured hand between your legs to rub on your little swollen clit. it’s so sensitive and you’re already so wet that you can’t help but gasp and moan at the slick friction.
you cry out Rafes name, wishing he were here to take care of you like he always does when you’re horny. the man spoils you with his fingers, his tongue and his big cock. so spoiled that getting yourself off just isn’t cutting it.
an idea comes to mind, as you grab your phone and begin taking pictures to send to your boyfriend, per his request. oh you knew these would drive him as crazy as you were feeling, at this point the low sexy rasp of his voice when he’s turned on would be enough to make you come.
you get your nails, toes and glistening pussy in the shot, taking a few as you try to get the best angles. then you take another, showing a close up of your new nails as you rub your clit, the angle and the full spread of your legs allows you to get your whole pussy, down to your puckered hole thats wet from your juices, into the frame. oh he’s definitely gonna lose it.
your heart is beating rapidly, as you select your favorites. Your finger hovers over the send key, for a few seconds longer than normal. once you finally click it, you throw your phone face down onto your bed and scream into your pillow as your stomach fills with more butterflies.
you bite at your plump lip and play with your new nails as you wait for a text back. you’re not sure why sending your boyfriend nudes always makes you so nervous but it’s a fun kind of anticipation. his reactions are always the best and you’re confident he’s gonna love these, but that doesn’t stop your heart from beating out of your chest.
a couple minutes of over thinking later and your phone begins to vibrate from the spot you left it, but it’s not a text notification. he’s calling, which means he’s alone and too worked up to text back.
“hello?”
“goddamn baby, had to lock myself in my hotel room when I seen those fuckin pics you sent.” his voice is breathy, low and raspy, just how you like it when he’s turned on. you giggle at how easy he is.
“yeah? you think it’s funny gettin’ my dick hard in the middle of a meeting? you gonna make me punish you when I get home, just watch.” there’s no bite to his words, they’re playful but fuck, if they don’t drive you crazy.
a wet slick, along with light smacks capture your attention in the background. you know exactly what he’s up to.
“mmm, are you stroking your cock for me, daddy?”
“can’t help it, those fuckin’ pictures. you look so sexy baby, wish I was there slurping on your clit, tongue fucking your tight little holes. fuuuuuck.” his groans have your fingers back on your clit in seconds, rubbing little circles at the thought of his head between your thighs.
“need you, daddy.” you whine, making Rafe’s slick smacking sounds pick up. you picture him lying on the hotels crisp white sheets, his cock haphazardly pulled out of the front hole in his boxers, fucking his fist with a heavy amount of lube, from the sound of it.
“i’m here, princess. play with that greedy pussy for me. fuck, what I would do to be in that tight little cunt right now.” he rambles, his noises only getting louder and spurring you on as the circles on your clit grow faster and sloppier.
“oh!” you moan, as two fingers sink into your dripping pussy.
“you comin’ already? tell me what you’re doing?” he demands as wet squelching gives it away before you can even open your mouth. “you finger fuckin’ that tight little hole of yours?” he growls like a damn animal into the speaker, the feral sound pushing you over the edge as he babbles about how hard he’d be fucking your pussy if he were there with you, and how he’s gonna ruin you when he gets back home.
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gremlingottoosilly · 5 months
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Now, Fallout!AU for Raider!Konig and fem!Reader...
Konig as a raider. Your typical one - wall of meat, muscles, mean motherfucker who doesn't really care who to kill and who to fuck after. It might be from one of the less drug-addicted gangs, most of the shit never works on him anyway. Might be radiation, might be mild mutation - no one cares. He isn't a leader of the gang, never good at working with people and commanding them - but he is good at shooting people and taking their stuff. He is good at spotting and sniping, despite people around laughing at his huge form scrambling behind a stolen sniper riffle. This is how he spots you, actually. A vault dweller - this much is obvious. You can lead him to your stash, a can deep in the ground. Filled with people, vault-dwelling rats - the ones that are too fucking good for this place. Konig thinks he hates them - but honestly, half of the wasteland does. You do look good in that tight suit of yours. Bright blue on the dry yellow of the ground below. he wondered who designed the suits - if people knew that every dumb underground rat would be spotted from at least 3 kilometres away in that bright blue thing. Works for him, though. He flips off the guy who didn't want to spot for his position. His rank in the gang is high enough to just get a guy by his neck and force him on guard duty - all while he is getting ready to catch the little rat. It was a while since he saw someone so pretty - honestly, only Vault dwellers can be considered pretty at this point. Clean skin, moderately clean hair. He knows that if he gets to smell you, you'd have this awesome stench of cleanliness. Would be lovely to push his nose into your hair as he fucks you on his bunk. Might even clean his room a bit so the underworld princess won't be too disgusted at the perspective of being chained to his bunk. A prized property. Pretty helpless thing.
Konig drags you to the compound with ease. You're too startled at the sight of a giant hooded man approaching you with a very mean gun on his hip - not even in his hands, since he is confident he can snap your neck with just two fingers. You whine like a brain calf being split in two at some posh casino far in New Vegas - he brushes his hand over your ass, gripping it. Patting it. You do have a weapon - he disposes of it now, just getting it to his pocket. You freeze when he takes your pip-boy off, snapping it off your wrist with ease. You mouth a little plead with your lips. Konig laughs. You have a Vault location in here - it's funny how such a silly thing is going to be the doom of your people. The gang leader would probably be sad they didn't get to torture you for information, but Konig is making sure the whole gang will be satisfied hearing your moans and cries the whole night. Everyone knows that Konig is a beast - and that if they try to get the leftovers of a pretty Vault girl, they will be used as a target practice next. You do smell good. Konig takes note of breaking into some abandoned building and trying to fetch water and cleaning supplies so you could continue to smell nice. Wants to doll up his pretty Vault snatch - even finds some old, pre-war dresses. Plays house as long as gang allows it. Some of the younger members give you a pitied look, hearing your little sobs every time Konig forces you to move. Some of the older members know that the moans you're letting out aren't the ones of pain. Konig isn't the one to share and to talk, so he never even brags about his girl. Just has her attached to his hip, clinging to his armor since he is the only one who you know here. At least you know him, somehow. At least you know he likes his pretty Vault rat too much to let you get hurt. By anyone but him, that is.
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withleeknow · 24 days
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wishful thinking. (7.5)
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chapter 7.5: limbo
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summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.
pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; minho's pov; non-explicit smut, kissing, grinding, implied unprotected sex; alcohol consumption, non-linear storytelling (jumps around a few random scenes before we get back to the present that picks up from the end of chapter 7), cursing, the final line :-?; not that unedited i am so so sorry lol word count: 5.6k
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / series masterpost / taglist
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Wishing fountains, we pray for change in the dark Moving mountains, we end up right where we start The world’s not falling apart But you and I, baby we are
Wishing Fountains - Bad Suns
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“What does it say?” Minho asks.
You sigh, your eyes trailing the words on the small piece of paper in your hands before you shove one half of the fortune cookie in your mouth. It seems dry; you look like you can barely swallow it.
“Bullshit,” you say simply, a little bitter before you hide behind a mask of indifference, turning to him as you ask, “Yours?” 
He breaks his own fortune cookie in half, pulling out a similar piece of paper that reads, “‘Jeg elsker deg’ means ‘I love you’ in Norwegian.”
You're both lying on a fluffy rug on the floor of your bedroom, with an empty bottle of rosé sitting somewhere near your head. “That’s... random,” you say, casting your eyes to the ceiling. “But I mean, at least it’s kind of educational. Now you know a phrase in Norwegian.”
“Sure,” Minho laughs, testing out the syllables in his mouth and butchering them in the process. “Who would I even say it to?”
“Impress your future girlfriend with your worldly knowledge. Or say it to Hyunjin, I’m sure he’ll swoon and blush like a schoolgirl.”
“That’s the last thing I want. He’s already clingy enough as it is.”
“Alright. Well, your loss then.”
He only hums in response. “You’re really not gonna tell me what yours is?”
“I told you. It’s bullshit.”
“Wanna tell me why the fortune cookie is evil at least? I’ll fight it for you.”
You roll your eyes, shoving at his shoulder with a playful scoff. “It just got me thinking, that’s all.”
“About what?”
It takes a minute for you to gather your thoughts into one semi-cohesive pile. 
“Just… reminds me how I don’t really fit into anyone’s life,” you start, your voice coming out a little small and timid before you seem to let the alcohol give you enough confidence to say what you want. “I don’t feel like I’m worth anyone’s time. Everyone’s going to outgrow me eventually, if they haven’t already. Their lives will only get bigger and bigger, and they’ll have to leave me behind at some point. All that space but none for me.
“I think I’ll be stuck like this forever, in this fucking… limbo. And I know it’s dramatic because we’re still young and we’ve got our whole lives in front of us and whatever else that people say. But it feels like wherever I go and whatever I do, my life will always be this small while you all move on. Chan and Jess, Seungmin, Changbin, Felix, even Hyunjin and Jisung when they’re not too busy being idiots. Everyone’s got everything all planned out, and they have other things to fall back on if those plans don’t work out. If I fall, I think I’ll just keep falling until I hit rock bottom.
“And you… you’re gonna do great things too. You’re gonna live your life and it’s going to be a good one, and you’ll forget about me too. A few years from now, when everyone’s already moved on, I’ll just be a girl that you used to know. I’m just a stop along the way.”
Then you pause, and the laugh you let out afterward is choked up and not at all sincere. You rub your hands down your face, groaning a little when you say, “Ugh, that was depressing. Sorry, it’s the wine. Forget I said anything.”
You have beautiful eyes, that’s what Minho has always thought, the kind that holds all the universe’s sparkles and all its sadness too, a bittersweet balance. The kind that makes one want to stop and admire for a while. He loves when they light up before the joy gradually spreads across your face, like watching the sun peak over the horizon before it colors the sky with ethereal pinks and purples and blues. You’re a wonderful sunrise, his favorite part of every day.
He even loves your faraway gaze when you’re here but you’re elsewhere simultaneously, hiding in your eyes musings that are privy to nobody else. You’d stare into the distance and he’d watch you the whole time, wondering if any of the thoughts that occupy your mind are about him.
Minho has an urge to take you into his arms and hold you tight and tell you that everything’s going to be okay. That no one’s going to forget about you because you’re not someone who can be forgotten so easily, let alone be forgotten by him. That he isn’t going anywhere if it’s not by your side, that he wants to be in your life until you decide you’re sick of him, not the other way around.
He wants to tell you he loves you because that’s the truth. He was gone the minute he saw you at that stupid party years ago when you had walked in shyly with Chan and Jess. You had tried to make yourself smaller in a roomful of strangers, but you’ve always been the only one Minho could find in a crowd.
Years and years from now, when he thinks back to his youth, the highlight reel that will pop up in his mind will be of his idiot friends and the good memories they’ve shared with one another. How they laughed and cried, how they fell and got back up together time and time again.
And at the center of it all will be you. Green grass, blue skies, his golden days and you, the focal point of his youth.
He loves you. Would it help, or would it scare you?
He doesn’t let himself debate that question for long. Regardless of what the answer is, now isn’t the right time. So instead, he says, “For what it’s worth, everyone’s just taking it one day at a time, even if they seem like they have it all planned out. You’re not falling behind. You’re going at your own pace, who cares about other people?”
You turn your head to stare at him, your cheeks flushed with a rosy tint from the wine you had shared and a pensive look on your face. He can’t tell what you’re thinking, but he holds your gaze anyway.
“And I can’t speak for anyone else, but you’ll always have me. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
A quiet moment passes. If Minho focuses hard enough, he thinks he might be able to hear the faint beats of your heart.
His gaze flickers to your lips for barely a second before it returns to your eyes, quick enough for it to escape your notice.
Then, you’re holding yourself up on one elbow and shuffling into his orbit until you’re right by his side. He doesn’t move a single inch; he only watches as you get closer, and closer, and closer until there’s no more space between the two of you. He blinks, and in that split second he misses the way you let your eyes shut as you lean down to press your lips to his.
He’s surprised, but pleasantly so.
You taste like rosé, like something he’s always known that he wants to chase.
It stuns him enough that he forgets to respond, his mind focused solely on the feeling of your soft lips on him, the scent of your jasmine perfume and how you’re so warm pressed against him like this.
Maybe it’s the stillness of his body that shocks you out of it, because you pull away after a few seconds with an instant look of mortification in your eyes, trying to scramble back to your original spot on the rug like you’ve just committed an unspeakable sin. Running away, he thinks, is your first instinct.
But Minho is just a tad quicker than you are. He doesn’t let you stray very far when he props himself up to cup your face with one hand and bring you back to him.
He’s kissing you again and for a brief moment, he feels like he could die.
You don’t break from him this time. Instead, you’re kissing him back just as deeply. You let him lower you back to the floor as he holds himself up above you, his tongue slipping past the seal of your lips while his thumb strokes your cheek softly, keeping you there in his loose hold so you could still run if that’s what you want to do.
But you stay with him, your hands trailing up the expanse of his chest to find purchase on his shoulders, your legs parting so he could perfectly slot himself into the space that you’ve allowed him.
When he rocks his hips into you experimentally, you bite on his bottom lip, a whining sound from your throat comes out muffled against his mouth.
He strays just long enough and far enough so he could look into your eyes, with your pupils blown much darker than they had been at the start of the evening.
He says your name, the gentlest sound in the world, then a question. “What do you want?”
Minho half expects you to overthink your answer and come back to your senses, to choose flight because it would be the easier option.
But you don’t. There’s a dazed look in your eyes as you lock onto him, and there’s something underneath the pool of lust in your gaze that leaves him breathless and wondering.
“You,” you say quietly, “I want you.”
And it’s with this simple answer that you pull him back to you again, not the other way around. You kiss him more fervently than before if that’s even possible. When he slides his arm around your waist, you let him pick you up to cross the few steps it takes to get to your bed, his lips never leaving you even after he has laid you onto the mattress. They follow the path where your jawline leads down to your neck, then where your neck meets your collarbone, and he savors every little whimper that you make for him even though he’s barely touched you yet. There’s hardly any patch of skin that he leaves unkissed, and when he reaches where your shirt begins to hide the rest of you from him, he only looks up at you, quietly asking for more permission.
You don’t give him a verbal answer. You take matters into your own hands, lifting your top over your head and flinging it somewhere on the floor.
Then your bra follows to join your shirt, wherever it may be. Minho assumes they’ve landed on the bottle of rosé, only guessing by the sound of the glass being knocked over and rolling around. He’s not sure but he doesn’t care about it enough to look, not when he’s got you right here under him, so beautiful and so willing that it makes his head spin.
He’s imagined this before, just a few times whenever he's drunk enough to let his mind wander without the guilt that comes with it when he’s sober. He has wondered before what it would feel like to kiss you breathless and have you kiss him back, to touch you in ways that no one else ever has, to taste how sweet you are and feel your warmth. None of it is appropriate, not at all platonic. He’s well aware of it.
It's been years, ever since Minho met you at that party when he was 19 and you had been too awkward to start a conversation. Years of walking with you in the rain after class, sharing umbrellas that are too small to shield the both of you but it’s okay, because he doesn’t mind leaving half of his body exposed to the harsh weather as long as the rain doesn’t get on you. Years of making sure you get home safely after nights out with your friends, years of insisting that he sees you walk inside your building and up to your floor whether it's 11PM or 4:30AM. Years of lingering glances, of pretending he isn’t bothered whenever Felix offers to introduce you to someone, of smiles sent your way that are far too endeared to mean nothing at all.
Years of loving you in silence because he’s your friend first and foremost, and his friendship with you means more to him than the feelings he has for you.
And yet...
He’s here in your bed, watching you with mesmerized eyes as you take off the rest of your clothes before helping him discard his, as you kiss him just as deeply as he’s wanted to kiss you for the longest time, as you keep pulling him into you even when he’s already as close to you as humanly possible. His lips on yours, his heart pressed against the other side of yours. His fingers intertwined with yours when he slips inside of you, and how your hands stay interlocked the entire time you’re wrapped together. You cling to him so tightly, as though it would hurt you if he were to ever let go.
It’s the way you look at him, like he’s the only person that exists in your universe. It’s the broken moans that you give him, the nonsense babbles that make his chest swell with pride at the knowledge that he’s making you feel so good that the only thing you know how to say coherently is his name. It’s the heaven between your thighs, absolutely divine and infinitely better than any fantasy that he could ever let himself indulge in.
Just for tonight, Minho can pretend that you're his, even though he knows that he’s already been yours since the first time you met. He’s been yours for as long as he can remember, even if you don’t know it yet.
Later on, when he’s collapsed next to you on the bed, there’s a safe distance between your tired bodies and a certain tension in the air that’s heavy with the consequences of your actions. When he takes your hand, the one that’s shaking as you grip the sheets between your fingers, it alleviates some of that anxiety.
“The fortune cookie, what did it say?” he asks, like you’re simply continuing the conversation from before.
You let out a nervous chuckle. “Seriously?”
He gives you a lopsided smile, rubbing his thumb over your skin. “Seriously.”
You purse your lips as you look at him for another second before you cast your eyes to the ceiling again, like you’d done just an hour ago. “It said ‘You’ll be loved.’”
You are, he thinks to himself. You’re loved.
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“Open wide.”
You give him a look, to which he only responds with a shrug and a sly grin. 
“You’re enjoying this too much,” you say, but you take the spoonful of chicken soup that he offers you anyway. You can’t focus on the taste but it’s warm and the relief you feel is instant when it soothes your throat.
You’ve practically been on bedrest for the past three days, slowly rotting away in your apartment with a bad strain of the seasonal flu until Minho came over and unleashed his inner mama bear on you. Now here you are, wrapped up like a burrito on the couch (Minho insisted; he wouldn’t have it any other way) while he spoon feeds you homemade chicken soup.
You were stubborn about it at first, as one could probably imagine. When you told the group chat that you wouldn’t make it to movie night at Chan’s place last weekend, you were adamant that you would be able to sleep it off and bounce back in no time, despite Minho offering to make you some food and bring over some meds and cough drops.
The symptoms worsened overnight though, and you developed a fever along with a cough that’s worse than any you’ve ever experienced. When Minho called you to make sure you were still alive, you could barely even speak.
He hates your cavalier attitude when it comes to taking care of yourself. He hates himself even more for believing in your nonchalance and not bulldozing his way over sooner.
“I’m enjoying this because I was right,” he says, feeding you more of the soup. “I told you instant ramyeon wouldn’t cure you.”
He lets his I told you so triumph go easily, even though he suspects that you have much more to bite back at him if you could get through half a sentence without wanting to hack your lungs out. You make a noise, and he isn’t really sure if it’s one of agreement or protest but it’s most likely the latter. He thinks it’s cute that you close your eyes after every spoonful, lazily eating like one of his cats back home whenever they’ve run out of energy. You’re probably tired and can’t wait to get into bed.
When the soup is finished, Minho fetches you your meds and a glass of warm water. He doesn’t know if the scrunched up face you make after every pill is because you hate the bitter taste or if the tablets keep dragging against your already sensitive throat on their way down, but he strokes your hair all the while you wash it down with water, a gentle hand on your head as if to say You’re doing well.
He tucks you in bed not long after, despite your weak protests as he carries you to your bedroom.
“Oh my god,” you had managed to croak out. “I’m not that helpless.”
“I know,” came his response and a teasing smile. “Just let me take care of you for once.”
You’re pliant once you’re laid gently on the mattress though, idly watching Minho as he wraps the duvet around your shoulders and fluffs your pillows just the way you like. This is awfully domestic, he notes, and he can’t help but lean down and press a kiss to your forehead, not when he’s absolutely endeared by the way your tired eyes try to keep themselves open just so you could look at him.
When his lips leave your warm skin, he thinks he might’ve imagined the blush that colors your cheeks.
But he blinks, and you’re still flushed, your lips slightly parted as you stare at him, mild surprise evident in your drowsy gaze.
Something passes over the two of you, a kind of silence that he isn’t accustomed to when he’s with you. It isn’t bad, it’s just… strange.
One beat, then another. “Want me to stay with you?” he asks.
He knows you’d say no, and yet he can’t help the disappointment when you tell him, “You don’t have to. Go home, Min. Thanks for taking care of me today.”
“You sure? I can take the couch. It’s fine.”
“I’m sure. Chan and Jess said they’re coming to check on me in the morning.”
Minho lets out a hum, and purses his lips.
“What?” you ask.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“But you look like you want to.”
“Just… y’know,” he starts, gauging your reaction all the while, for any signs of physical discomfort or otherwise, “I like you like this. You’re not hiding when you’re like this.”
“You like me frail and on the verge of death?”
He rolls his eyes, pretends to flick at your forehead. “You know what I mean.”
When you giggle, it’s immediately followed by a wince, like the movement is hurting your sensitive throat. “Do I hide when I’m with you?”
“Sometimes.” He moves his hand to caress your face, gentle fingertips tracing the apple of your cheek. Surprisingly, you let him, if only for a little while. “It feels like you’re always ready to leave.”
“Are you worried I’m gonna run away?” you ask, covering your hand over his to move it away, but you still let his touch linger when you only lower his hand to your neck, where he starts twiddling your hair between his fingers. It feels like you want him close, close enough that it matters, close in a way that still lets you have control over how it matters. “I physically can’t. I’m sick.”
“Does that mean you’ll run away when you get better?”
You seem to ponder the question for a moment. You’re holding onto his wrist and Minho is almost certain that you can feel his pulse. He would do so many things for you if only you’d let him.
When you answer him, you keep things light but your tone is soft, gentle in a way that tells him your sentiment means more than the words you cherry pick on the surface.
 “No, I have finals in two weeks.”
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The first time that Minho gets to wake up next to you, nothing feels real. Not the pleasant scent of your shampoo greeting him the minute he opens his eyes, not your soft breath fanning his bare collarbone where you lay with your head tucked into the crook of his neck, not even the feeling of you in his arms, safe and warm, as though this is where you’re meant to be. None of it seems like anything other than a dream.
When memories of the previous night come rushing to the surface, it also brings back the annoyance he felt watching Yeonjun openly flirt with you at the party, and the bitter feeling that accompanied the reminder that Minho couldn’t even really do anything about it but stand idly by. 
But you stir in his arms, and all of the annoyance and bitterness goes away. Because you’re here with him and not anybody else. There’s a certain ego boost knowing that he’s the one you kiss, the only one you allow in your most personal space. To know you is a privilege, and it’s one that you grant no one else but him.
Last night, something happened. Something changed, he felt it when you were the one who asked him to stay. You let him put his shirt on you, let him hold you as you slept, even welcomed his embrace and snuggled further into his body in a way that you’ve never done before.
How you kissed him just hours prior, how you looked at him… God, he thinks he could just spill all of his secrets if you did it again.
But when you open your eyes, Minho is already pretending to be asleep again. How would you react? He’s curious to know. Would you scramble away the second the realization kicks in that you let him break your rule? Would you leave his side and act all nonchalant about it when you inevitably have to face each other later? He’s willing to bet that you would.
But you surprise him again. He feels you watching him for a moment, then your touch ghosts upon his features. It almost makes him falter in his act, your gentle fingers tracing his temple, his cheekbones, the slope of his nose down to his lips. There’s a sigh that you exhale, and he misses your touch the very second it leaves his skin. He itches to bring you closer to him again.
So that’s what he does. Minho keeps the facade going, pretending like he’s now just waking up with his limbs stretching out. You stiffen when he hugs you tighter, but you soon relax after he starts stroking your hair. 
Nothing has changed for him, but can you say the same?
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“Dude!”
Minho flinches into action when a voice calls his name right by the car window, loud enough to startle him even through the thick layer of glass. When he turns his head, he finds Changbin’s face all pressed up against the window, struggling to hold three bags full of supplies that are threatening to spill out. “Help me with these!” his friend says.
It’s the week of Jisung, Felix and Seungmin’s birthdays; you lot tends to go all out for the quadruple birthday bash every year (Chan’s birthday is only 11 days later after all). Seungmin’s family has a lakeside cabin a couple hours from the city, that’s where everyone goes to unwind for a long weekend with plenty of food and even more drinks. This year, it’s no different.
Minho and Changbin are on drinks duty, tasked with picking up all of the alcohol and refreshments for the weekend ahead. He doesn’t really know what the rest are doing, just that you and Jeongin are babysitting Hyunjin to make sure the latter doesn’t deviate from the proposed budget and go way overboard when getting snacks and decorations. You sent Minho a text a while ago, a video of you facepalming and rolling your eyes before you flip the camera over to show Hyunjin and Jeongin bickering like children over a mega pack of chips.
Once everything is in the car – cases of beer safely loaded into the trunk, bottles of water and soft drinks set in their designated plastic bags in the backseat, Changbin comments from the driver’s seat, “You looked weird. You were smiling.”
Minho only stares at him for a moment, a neutral expression on his face as he blinks those typical Minho blinks, before he turns his head to the other side to lean against the window.
He was thinking about the first time your tradition started, the first year Jess had to drag you on the trip. She used to do it often; you were shy in the beginning.
He’s got a favorite memory of you, and it wasn’t you and him sitting together on the bank of the river during the sunset, while the others were in the water, splashing around and having the time of your lives (you two were the only ones who couldn’t swim, but it was okay, you didn’t feel like you missed out on anything because at least you had each other).
His favorite memory of you wasn’t running into you in the middle of the night when he went into the kitchen for some water and you were out by yourself on the adjacent balcony, sitting with your chin resting on your folded knees and the crescent moon for company. He stayed there for a moment, dazed, wondering if he was still dreaming or if it was just you. When Minho finally made his presence known, you told him you couldn’t sleep and he suggested that you break into Hyunjin’s secret ramyeon stash, because going to bed with a full stomach always made him feel better whenever he was restless. 1:58AM, you ended up almost burning your hand on the stove, too busy trying to keep your giggles down when he made a stupid joke.
Minho’s favorite memory wasn’t of you falling asleep on his shoulder on the drive back either, with you squished in the backseat between him and Felix, and your light snores reminded him of Soonie whenever the cat would doze off on his chest. It wasn’t any of these moments, even though he thinks he might’ve loved you in every instance.
His favorite memory of you was the evening before that trip had to come to an end, the last night you all spent together before you had to leave your safe little bubble. It was after dinner and some drinks, everyone was buzzed and the air was crisp, chilly every now and then. When you were gathered on the dock overlooking the lake, each holding a sparkler that Jisung had prepared, you were laughing. Everyone else was laughing too, but yours was the only sound Minho could focus on.
“Be quiet. I’m gonna take a nap,” he tells Changbin, ignoring the comment entirely as he closes his eyes. “Wake me when we get to Chan’s.”
The lights, and your friends, and the moon hanging high up in the sky like a guardian angel back then.
You were watching how it all reflected so beautifully in the rippling waters below. He was watching you.
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“You really don’t see it, do you?”
His question hangs in the awful silence as you stare at him. Minho can see your nails digging into your palms where your fists are clenched, your glassy eyes and the frown between your brows, like you’re trying your hardest to hold back tears. Why else would you be so upset?
He’s known about it for a while, or at the very least, he’s had an inkling of how you feel about him. He knows he isn’t in over his head when he says there’s a certain glow that radiates from within you when you’re together, a side of you that’s tender and at peace, one that he’s never seen you show anyone else. The way you look at him, it’s the same way that he looks at you even if you don’t realize it yet, or maybe you just don’t want to admit it out loud.
It hasn’t been one sided for at least some time now, he knows it.
But it’s frustrating to watch you try so hard to fight it. He’s the only one holding on, and you’ve been willing to let go at every turn.
“See what?” you challenge.
This isn’t how he planned to ever say these words, but the moment is here whether he likes it or not. It’s staring at you both in the face even if you are doing your best to hide from it.
Minho holds your gaze for a few seconds before he steps toward you again. This time, you stand your ground.
“You asked me if things changed for me and I said no. That was the truth, I never lied to you. We’re friends but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen you as something more from the beginning.”
He pauses there, watches your eyes and how you take it in. They soften a little, filling up some more as you process his words. There’s surprise in the look that you wear, sure. A little confusion, yes. But most of all, you just look sad. When you call out his name, he can tell by your tone that it’s a warning, that you’re about to run away for real this time if he presses on, and yet he can’t stop until he says his piece.
“If you want me to spell it out for you, I’ve had feelings for you since we first met. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for so long that I can’t remember what it feels like not to love you, and it drives me crazy that you don’t see any of it. The thing that makes me even crazier, do you know what it is? I think you feel something for me too, but you won’t admit it to yourself and you always resort to shutting down instead of facing your feelings. How much longer are you going to run away from me?”
When the first tear unintentionally spills over from the corner of your eye, Minho knows he’s struck a nerve. He wants to reach out and wipe away the tiny stream that rolls down your face but you beat him to it, wiping at your cheek in angry motions.
“You’re wrong.” Your voice is tight when you tell him, “I don’t have feelings for you.” It’s the only thing that you address.
Sometimes, he searches for your answer at the bottom of a glass, or on the other end of looks that seem to linger just a beat too long. But as he’s standing here, right now, he finds it in your hesitation to speak, in the lie you give him when you finally do.
It’s the answer he’s always wanted and yet, the knowledge brings him no satisfaction at all. It only lodges a lump in his throat, an overwhelming sense of dejection when he sees how hard you’re trying to fight this.
“I know you,” he sighs after a moment, a little defeated. “I know when you’re lying.”
“Maybe you don’t know me that well after all.”
You’re stubborn. You’ve always been stubborn.
Minho takes another step forward. It feels like it’s a step closer to the end as you both know it, because how else is your relationship going to come back from this? He sees the slight shake in your shoulders that you try to suppress, but he’ll always be the one to notice. 
“Tell me you don’t love me,” he says quietly, his final resort. A challenge but it sounds an awful lot like a plea. He doesn’t understand how it’s possible that things can take a turn for the worse in just two weeks’ time. The last time you both were here, you’d kissed his endeared smile and held him so impossibly close to you. Now, everything is falling apart, the seams coming undone one by one. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”
Minho meant what he said, about how loving you drives him crazy sometimes. Even when you’re breaking his heart, he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. A noticeable sting settles in between the cracks of his ribcage at the sight of your quivering bottom lip, your balled up fists and his own reflection in your glassy eyes.
“Do you want me to say it so badly?” you ask, and he can only stare at you when your voice comes out harsher than it was before, though it cracks toward the end as you try to keep up with the facade. “Fine, I’ll say it.”
It’s not what he asked, but it’s confirmation nonetheless. It’s acceptance but not how he wants it to be. Acceptance that you do love him, and yet, you say it in a way that he’s never expected to hear from you.
“I don’t want to love you.”
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 28.08.2024]
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seiwas · 4 months
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FICS FOR GAZA — SPONSOR A WIP
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hello!! this is my lil contribution to the wonderful fundraising initiative started by @ficsforgaza!! i've added a list of my wips that i'd love to work on in exchange for your donations to a vetted fundraiser!! most of them are relatively short to assure that i can work on them faster and hopefully post them as soon as possible!! i hope they appeal to you and enjoin you to donate!
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RATE: $1 per 100 words
INSTRUCTIONS: please donate to a vetted fundraiser and send me an ask with a screenshot of your proof of donation (please private your information) + the wip you'd like to sponsor! — example: sel! i'd love to sponsor your wip, 'grow on me like a dog loved fondly'! here's my proof of donation for [chosen fundraiser], thank you so much! [attached photo of proof] *i'll be sending the screenshots to @ficsforgaza for transparency and tracking + to ensure that proofs are not reused for other wips!
other additional information/faqs will be added at the end of this post, but i'd like to thank you in advance for supporting this initiative and choosing to donate! 🥹 there is absolutely no pressure to! even just a simple reblog can help spread the word 🥹 please do check out @ficsforgaza for more updates and a more extensive list of writers (sponsor wips writers) (request writers) who are also joining in on this initiative 🥹
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DATE UPDATED: SEPTEMBER 4, 2024
— WIPS
📍 TOTAL DONATIONS: 154.20 USD
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JUJUTSU KAISEN
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ಇ. grow on me like a dog loved fondly - kamo choso x reader ⚬ ongoing series. prologue / +++. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, non-curse!au, animal shelter employee!choso x flower shop owner!reader, slowburn, hurt/comfort + fluff.
summary: your regular to the flower shop is more than what he seems.
current wc: 1,014 / 15,000+ donated (goal) wc: 2,045 / 5,000 progress tracker: 0 / 5,000
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ಇ. i'll stay on this drive for as long as you'd like - fushiguro megumi x reader [FULLY SPONSORED; COMPLETE & POSTED] ⚬ event. mini series: by your passenger seat. part 1 / part 2. *this will be the 3rd part of the mini-series. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, non-curse!au, college!au, established relationship, hurt/comfort.
summary: megumi knows you a lot better than you think. prompt: acting like it's okay when you know it's too much.
completed wc: 3,229
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ಇ. do you know what love is like? - gojo satoru x reader ⚬ ongoing mini series: do you know what love is like?. happens before the ongoing main series: conversations on love. part 020 / part 021 / +++. *i have 6 parts planned for this, but i didn't write them linearly, so only part 021 is posted so far. the numbers represent the ages reader and gojo are during the events of the fic. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, canon-adjacent (reader is also a sorcerer), slowburn, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort + fluff.
summary: a series of almost's when you and gojo nearly get together, but don't.
current wc: 2,120 / 15,000+ donated (goal) wc: 0 / 5,000 progress tracker: 0 / 5,000
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BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA
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ಇ. can i get your number? (your bpm, i mean) - kirishima eijirou x reader [FULLY SPONSORED] ⚬ event. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, non-canon!au, gym fic, kind of meet cute, crushes and confessions, strangers to ???, fluff.
summary: being clumsy does have its perks; how else could you have found yourself falling into the arms of the cute, beefy guy who quite literally smiles like sunshine? prompt: going to the gym for yourself (and totally not for that cute guy who sometimes says hi).
current wc: 0 / 3,215 ❣️ donated (goal) wc: 3,215 / 3,215 ❣️ progress tracker: 0 / 3,215
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ಇ. three-part honesty - todoroki shouto x reader [FULLY SPONSORED; COMPLETE & POSTED] ⚬ sequel to two-part something. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, post-canon, aged-up pro-hero!shouto and assistant!reader, workplace romance, development of feelings, confessions, boss/assistant dynamics, co-workers to lovers (ish), fluff.
summary: honesty, you've realized, is shouto’s most cunning trait—a quality that's endeared you over the years now rendering you into a stuttering, fumbling mess like never before.
completed wc: 16,365
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ಇ. found you in my dreams (only to wake up next to home) - bakugo katsuki x reader [FULLY SPONSORED] ⚬ event. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, post-canon, aged-up pro-hero!bakugo, vulnerabilities, falling in love (and deserving it), established relationship, hurt/comfort + fluff.
summary: bakugo finds love seeping into the hours of his day. prompt: falling in love as part of your everyday routine.
current wc: 235 / 4,000+ ❣️ donated (goal) wc: 2,500 / 2,500 ❣️ progress tracker: 0 / 2,500
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HAIKYUU!
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ಇ. AITA (25M) FOR BEING TWO-FACED WITH MY GIRLFRIEND (24F)? I KNOW IT SOUNDS WRONG, BUT LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF. - iwaizumi hajime x reader ⚬ was supposed to be for a collab event by tallulah, who has now deactivated. i wasn't able to post it on time but am still very interested in writing the idea! ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, canon-adjacent, sexual themes, teasing, iwaizumi is a bit mean (mean = leaving you wanting), established relationship, fluff + suggestive.
summary: you haven't been giving iwaizumi much attention lately; is it wrong for him to want payback?
current wc: 29 / 4,500+ donated (goal) wc: 0 / 2,500 progress tracker: 0 / 2,500
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ಇ. this stays ‘till tomorrow - oikawa tooru x reader ⚬ event. ⌗ f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!reader, canon-adjacent, long distance relationship, vignettes, a few arguments, established relationship, hurt/comfort.
summary: you cling onto phone calls, hoping they'll one day be enough. prompt: falling in love as part of your everyday routine.
current wc: 0 / 4,000+ donated (goal) wc: 542 / 2,500 progress tracker: 0 / 2,500
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ಇ. you’re the reason (i got a weakness) - miya atsumu x reader [FULLY SPONSORED] ⚬ event. ⌗ f!reader, canon-adjacent, misunderstanding/arguments, atsumu and you are fighting (but you're still the prettiest he's ever seen), established relationship, hurt/comfort + fluff.
summary: it’s not that atsumu doesn't like you dressing up like this—in fact, he loves it. just not when you're fighting. not when he can't even call you 'baby'. prompt: making yourself look good to feel good (your partner has something to say to you).
current wc: 1,708 / 2,500 ❣️ donated (goal) wc: 2,118 / 2,000 ❣️ progress tracker: 1,708 / 2,118
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OTHER NOTES
i will not be publishing the ask you send me with the proof of donation, but i will be sending you an ask to confirm the receipt of the donation and to let you know that i'll be crediting your sponsorship!
i gave 3 wips each for each fandom, for variety! this is my first time doing something like this, so i'm also still learning as i go! please be kind!!
if you want to know more about a wip, you can ask me about it! a lot of these are low in current word count because i heavily outline fics before writing them, so these fics already have plot and dialogue points down, just not in full writing yet.
update schedule: every 3 days! i'll try to update as soon as i can (within a day) but if you notice that i haven't acknowledged your donation after 3 days, please send me a message about it again!
the progress tracker for each fic will track how many words have been written from the donated amount. i added a donation goal per fic to make tracking more organised! this is also so it doesn't feel as overwhelming to donate, especially for the bigger word counts.
writing schedule: i will write based off the order the fic is sponsored. i will honour the donated words regardless of whether the fic is fully sponsored or not. when i finish writing the donated amount, i'll update it in the progress tracker!
posting schedule: to manage expectations, i work full-time and have a few side hustles too, so i may take a while to finish writing fics 🥺 i also tend to exceed word counts, which may also affect how fast i finish writing! but, i am doing my best to write at least 500 words a day to keep myself accountable, and to hopefully get the fics up as soon as possible. i will only post the finished fics once they are fully sponsored!
boosts are appreciated!!
if you have any other questions, please let me know!
322 notes · View notes
lovewithmary · 8 months
Note
Okay I’m gathering all my brain power for these and repurposing my own aus in my head 😼
Anyways imagine Dutch princess reader x lando. Hear me out okay so imagine every year when they hand out the trophies in the Netherlands reader hands it out and she’s friends with max because of him being their pride and joy of the country. Blind item comes in to duexmoi (want the person to be anon but their tag is like orange land or something that plays off orange and the fact that lando has the joke that natherlands is like a second home race)(idk how to spell it I’m not a gossip follower) about a certain Dutch princess with a f1 driver and everyone immediately assumes max and reader. Lando could hard launch them being like wrong orange boy or they could just be spotted on winter break having a vacation together. Imagine they met at like a gp when lando podiumed there (im manifesting for this season) and like when she was visiting garages there he rizzed her up
Idk you could scrap everything and I would still eat it up 🫶😽
WRONG DRIVER — LN4
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summary: in which people think that you and max are dating, but lando is determined to prove them wrong
pairing: dutch princess!y/n x lando norris
fc: elle fanning
masterlist
notes: for my pookie @renarots 🫶 also not me saying i have writer's block and don't know when I'll post but when rena sends me an ask I 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ to write
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 1230223 others
princessy/n: thank you to f1 for inviting me and for letting me present the awards once again! and congrats to maxverstappen1, landonorris, and charles_leclerc for podium!
comments
user1: THE PADDOCK PRINCESS (LITERALLY) 🫶
user2: max and lando in the likes?/? ↳ user3: they literally got mentioned by Y/N???
user4: Y/N growing up attending gps to actually presenting in one is such a full circle moment for her
user5: Y/N you are literally the most fashionable person when you attend the paddock, please teach max 🙏🙏 ↳ princessy/n: i've tried, but he's too attached to being a walking-talking sponsor for his team ↳ maxverstappen1: says the one who's obsessed with a certain jacket 👀 ↳ user6: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
landonorris: 🧡🧡
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liked by maxverstappen1, f1, mclaren, and 9438143 others
landonorris: can't imagine being with anyone except you 🧡
tagged: princessy/n
comments
user1: lando saw people were speculating Y/N dating max and proving EVERYONE wrong 😭
user2: the hand placements in the photos AHHHHHH
user3: lando fr said wrong driver
maxverstappen1: now say thank you max for setting us up ↳ princessy/n: thank you max &lt;3 ↳ landonorris: thank you max 😄
princessy/n: THAT BIRTHDAY PHOTO IS A CRIME ↳ landonorris: no it's cute it's my lockscreen
maxfewtrell: the fact i've been present for most of these moments tell me i should hang out with you guys less ↳ princessy/n: don't lie max, you're just waiting for the perfect time to take lando away from me 😒 ↳ maxfewtrell: lando's always been mine, don't lie
user4: lando dating THE Y/N aka THE PRINCESS was not on my bingo card for this year
princessy/n: my love 🧡 ↳ landonorris: my princess 🧡
602 notes · View notes
deadsetobsessions · 8 months
Text
Listen, I know it’s not my usual thing, but I just re-read Dark Matter by mysterycyclone (iconic, so good, incredible, I’ve reread this at least ten times) and this newer work, Help Me, I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore by Astra_Nova_Kat (it’s off to a really good and fleshed out, very long start- it’s like 20k for the first chapter omg).
I just. Love?? Them??? They’re both, urg, so good. The writing style, the way the story moves, the natural progression of plot and their usage of tropes are so well done that rarely does it feel awkward. Amazing. Anyways, they inspired me to put my two cents into the proverbial offering hat and while this might not ever be a realized fanfic, here it is? This will have multiple parts.
Uh, I’m basing Peter’s personality off of the really tired millennial energy Tobey Maguire gives, the awkward but well meaning disaster vibes of Andrew Garfield, and the sassy acrobatic chaos gremlin of Tom Holland. All kind of mushed together with the hyper competence and maturity of both the PS4 spidey and pretty much most spider people. He’s 22, or something but that doesn’t really matter?? Background doesn’t really matter because I’m basically making my own spider-verse. Spider… past? Eh. New Peter!
Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.1
[Pt.2]
——
Spider-Man swung through the skyscrapers of his city, enjoying the winds and sounds of New York as he kept a sharp eye out for crime.
He remembered doing this without any of the fancy tech his suit had now, when he was dressed in less protective clothing. God, 100% cotton while crime fighting? The spandex was better but god ugly.
His spider-sense blared. Spider-man quickly shot a web to the top of the building, going towards the danger instead of away from it.
He goes in feet first, years of knocking common thugs to legitimate gods to the ground making short work of the people on the roof top. He flips out of the way, dodging a blast of crackling green energy.
“Heyyyy, common robbers! What’s up with shiny lasers, huh? Breaking and entering not doing enough for ya?”
Spider-Man dodges a couple more shots, flipping again to knee a guy in the face, gently. The man goes down in one shot.
“Stay still, you motherfucker!”
“Does that actually work for you guys?? Like I’m down to get killed but, man, I’m not gonna stay still to get downed by some two bit thugs?” Spider-Man kept his words light and mocking, webbing up a laser gun and yanking it out of the woman’s hands. He punches her in the face and knocks her out, using the laser gun like a mildly bulky baton.
“Eat shit, Spider-bitch!”
“Ouch! Oh no, my feelings! You’ve hurt them!” Spider-Man shoots a web at the lady who’d shouted and yanked, before smacking her straight down to the concrete of the rooftop. His hearing picked up two people coming up the stairway and Spider-Man tossed two web bombs, the metal mechanism attached itself to the wall, waiting for their unknowing victims.
Spider-Man ducked and weaved, downing goons as they piled on him while shooting bullets, lasers, and just charging at him with a bat or a crowbar. After eight years of pretty much this exact thing, Spider-Man had gotten the science of breaking up goon dog piles without hurting them too much to an exact measurement. He quipped at them until they got annoyed, which made them sloppy. Spider-Man sighed as another guy came at him with a crow bar and a gun that he was pretty sure was still stuck on safety. He crouched, kicking out their legs and dodging a swipe of a bat where his ribs would have been and webbed the guy to the floor. Yeah, he’ll wrap this up and end patrol. Maybe he still had Mac n’ Cheese at home, or he could stop by Angelo’s for a sub?
Huh. His options for dinner was limited.
“Take this!”
Even without the forewarning of his spidey-sense, Spider-Man would have ducked out of the way regardless.
“Shouting your sneak attacks isn’t actually all that sneaky, you know!” Spider-Man kept his voice cheery and mocking.
“Get him!”
God, why were there so many people trying to break into an insurance company? This definitely doesn’t smell like a regular B&E. With the shit he’s seen in New York, if it smells like a plot, acts like a plot, then it’s probably a villain with a tragic backstory with big, annoying plans.
Great.
Oh, speak of the devil!
“Spider-Man.” His senses blared.
He couldn’t move out of the way fast enough, not without risking the life of the goon he was currently fighting, so Spider-Man took the blast the punched the breath out of his lungs. The wide eyes of the goon made up for some of the pain.
“Ugh!” Spider-Man slammed into an HVAC, denting the metal. His suit, made special polymer blend from Wakanda that he saved for months to get, absorbed some of the shock. Shit, he hoped it didn’t tear. It would be a bitch and a half to dip into the back up stock he had in his hammer space.
The goons left standing quickly rushed him and held him down to face the new boss.
“You’ve been getting on my nerves, Spider.”
“Yeah,” Spider-Man coughed out, letting the two goons think they could hold him down on his knees as he recovered his breath. “I have that effect on people.”
“But you could be an asset, if you’d join me?”
“Uh, I don’t join or sign things without knowing what I’m joining or signing, my guy. My lawyer said so.”
The villain paused, helmeted head cocking to the side.
“You have a lawyer?”
“Yeah. Kind of? He does pro-bono work for the helpless cases. You know, like, a well meaning, crime fighting vigilante?”
“…Does he do cases against insurance companies?”
“Oh man, you too? Dude, this place sucks,” Spider-Man sighed.
“You’ve had trouble too? Then you must see why I’m doing this!”
This was a bit weird, but if there’s anything that brings people together, it’d be corrupt insurance companies. He’s almost tempted to let them break in, just to be extra petty.
“Nah, my neighbor? Sweet old lady. They’re screwing her out of her entire place. I totally get it, man. Hey, if you need a referral, you can tell my lawyer that Spider sent you. He’s real good.”
“How good?” The goons release him and Spider-Man stood up, stretching his limbs.
“Like, Dare Devil good.”
“You know Matt Murdock??”
“Sure do.”
“He… he’ll take on our cases?”
“Dang, all of you?”
“Yes. We can pool enough money to pay him for one or two.”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure he’ll take you guys on for free. But it wouldn’t hurt if you all went to meet him, just so he can decide which one of you has a higher chance to win in court?”
“We will. Uh.” The villain paused sheepishly. Well, not a villain, more like an unfortunately angry and poor decision making citizen. “Sorry about… you know, the blast.”
“It’s cool. I mean,” Spider-Man gestured to the rooftop, the bodies of unconscious people kind of laying around where he knocked them down. “You guys might wanna check on them, yeah? I’ll let you go for now, but if you commit a B&E again, I’ll leave you webbed up for GCPD to find.”
“Got it. Sorry.”
Feeling good about himself, and plotting corporate espionage, Spider-Man went to help pry some people from his webs.
And of course, because Parker Luck kicks in only when Spider-Man felt like life was looking up for himself, Spider-Man’s senses blared once more as he knelt down to pull at some webbing.
“Oh, shit!” He heard, right before a cold blast of something slammed right into his head, knocking him out.
And Spider-Man
F
E
L
L.
——
Larry looked at the the empty space where Spider-Man, the guy who took a hit from his boss’ blaster so he wouldn’t get hurt, used to be.
He twisted.
“Boss, what the fuck?!”
“Shit! That was accident!” Boss pulled herself up from the concrete, where she just ate dirt.
“Where did he go?”
“I don’t know, Larry! That was the experimental warped mode! Crap!” His boss scrambled with the controls, desperately trying to see if the magic gun her magician friend had handed her years ago had a reverse button. It didn’t.
“Why would you bring a test weapon into the field?!”
“I gave you all of my other ones!” She threw up her hands. “Fuck, I feel so bad.”
Larry paled. “Dude, Dare Devil’s gonna kill us.”
“He doesn’t kill!” His boss hesitated. “I think.”
Larry pointed to the empty space. “Yeah? He might start with us. Spidey was a cool guy and you just disappeared him!”
“I know!”
Larry buried his head into his hands and tried not to hate himself for the entire situation.
——
Spider-man woke up, laid flat on the grimy ground of an alleyway.
“Ugh. Just my luck.” He kept his eyes closed for just a beat longer to allow himself time before having to pull his shit together. Why was his voice high? And a bit squeaky? He pulled himself together.
“Okay.” He whispered to himself, before sitting up and taking stock of the situation.
First thing that hit him was that it stunk to high heavens. Gagging, Spider-Man looked to the right and- yeah, that’ll do it. He stood up on wobbly legs to try to move away from the overflowing dumpster.
That’s when the second, more important and decidedly more troublesome, observation hit him.
He’s short. Shorter. And his suit was hanging off of him.
He could tell he still had his normal by now physiology, with the speeding heartbeat and the feeling of super strength. But he’s shorter. With a mounting sense of equal parts dread and resignation, he pulled at the hidden seam by his nape, relying on his both his enhanced senses and spidey-sense to tell if anyone was nearby or looking at him. He pulled the Spider-Man suit off, blankly folding it neatly as he stared dumbly at his hands. They’re small too. Shit. He stumbled to a nearby mud puddle and stared down, seeing his younger face in the contaminated water. Double shit.
He’s starting to loose his composure. He’d gone through a lot of bizarre things over the last eight years. But getting accidentally Detective Conan’ed by a person he just helped was a new low.
The black under layer of his suit, a slash proof and fire resistant polymer Peter had designed himself in MIT’s lab, was in a similar state.
With one hand, Peter Parker numbly rolled up his sleeves and pant hems. Great. Okay. Now what?
Ah. Shoes. He did not want to walk around in his too-big Spider-Man boots. He looked around. Well, there’s the laces of what looked to be like a pair of dumpster shoes. “Yeah, no.”
Shit. Does he still have access to his hammer space?
Peter reached into his pocket, and tried to reach for a pair of normal sneakers. His shoulder slumped as he produced a pair. Fuck yes. He still has access! And shoes! They’re ones he took off of a power line for a well off kid who didn’t want it anymore. He was going to donate them to F. E. A. S. T. but he’s thanking the stars he procrastinated a bit on swinging by the center. He put them on. They’re a bit big, but it’s better than the giant-in-comparison ones he normally wears. You know, as an adult.
He hesitated with his mask. He should at least figure out where he is. He hoped it was still in the states. His mask blinked, the HUD in his lenses informing him that it was trying to find a connection. “That’s weird.” He paused, grimacing at the sound of his voice. But it is weird, because he had his mask automatically connected to the world wide satellites Tony Stark had sent circling the globe for citizens without internet access as a back up option. So either he was somewhere even the Stark Satellites couldn’t reach or…
Peter swallowed, his mask pinging as it found a connection to piggy back on. He clicked his tongue twice to activate the voice controls.
“Connect to the local maps. Where am I?”
His masked followed the order. [Gotham. New Jersey.]
Peter stared at the words, gut churning.
Good news, he was still in the States. Bad news? He’s shrunk, in a totally different state, and possibly in a different world because he’s not connected to the Stark Satellites he knew operated in New Jersey.
Peter Parker tilted his head back and allowed himself one verbal, panic level six and up, curse word.
“Fuck.”
He took off his mask and leaned against a slightly cleaner part of the wall before hyperventilating.
——
Half an hour later, Peter smacked himself on the cheeks and pulled himself together.
“You’re Spider-Man,” he hissed to himself. “Have a mental breakdown somewhere warm, you dumbass.”
Peter Parker was a champion, world class expert at compartmentalization.
He slipped his mask back on, and pulled up his “So You’re Stuck in an Alternate Universe” list he had made with Ned so many years ago when they were high school kids and going through comic books to make contingencies because Peter was a little idiot vigilante hero.
“I didn’t think I’d actually ever need this kind of thing.” Peter muttered. He slipped his black back up gloves on to connect to his mask’s display in order to type.
“Okay,” he glanced at the side by side screens in his lenses. “Money.”
Five things.
1) The emergency cash he’d stashed on him thankfull matched the pictures of cash he’d found on this world’s internet. Yay!
2) He had $1000 tucked away. Not yay. Not if this might be a long term stay before he got back to his own dimension. Not if he wanted a place to sleep.
3) Luckily, thanks to his earlier search of where the hell he was, Peter figured out that due to the high crime rates- “Dang, that’s worse than New York on New Year’s Eve,” he had marveled- Gotham was dirt cheap and that that meant 1k dollars could actually last him a while and he could afford a room for a month on $250. A whole ass apartment for $550. Peter seriously considered staying in this universe just for the rent prices. So what if there’s rampant crimes? He’d deal with it if the rent was that cheap.
4) Problem? He’s fucking tiny. Who would rent to a person that looked like child? Not anyone upstanding, that’s for sure. He’s more likely to get mugged. Counterpoint: he’s in a city where apparently shady people are all around. Also? He doesn’t have an identity.
5) If the fact that he couldn’t connect to the Stark Satellites didn’t convince him he was either in another universe or an alternate dimension, the visual graphics of the websites he visited would. It was like looking at Windows in the early way before Stark Co. bought them out and improved the design. Nauseating.
Okay, so, money’s not too urgent of an issue. Next on Ned’s list: Places of Interest.
Namely, libraries, homeless shelters, crime hotspots, and the like.
Peter snorted when he came across an opinions article talking about how Park Row became Crime Alley. And then he frowned, because that story was not painting this place to be even remotely nice. Then again, considering the crime rates and the various Rogues this place seemed to have in spades, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Peter marks the place in his new mental map of Gotham as a potential area he could either disappear to or get a new identity at. He then marked the libraries, Gotham City Public Library and its many branches all funded by generous donations from a Bruce Wayne, the Martha Wayne foundations’ shelters and charities, two supermarkets near the library, and a coffee shop he thought looked warm and cozy from the shitty pictures they have uploaded online. He needed coffee, dammit, and he needed it hours ago. Alas, he probably wouldn’t get to go to one until he secured his finances.
Well, it’s not like he doesn’t have practice being poor.
3) Which brings him up to Ned’s next, surprisingly reasonable for a teenager hoped up on a mountain load of sugar, point. Level of Tech.
Peter hid next to the dumpster, melding in with the shadows, as he continued his research.
Tech here was… well, he probably wouldn’t have to worry. The thought of not having a Starkphone, even his older model, was painful considering the new versions of these WaynePhones were really… behind. Peter doesn’t remember the last time he had buttons on his phone or let alone a touch screen that didn’t use facial tracking and biometrics or even have a holographic display mode.
“Ugh. Okay. Not the end of the world, Parker.” Peter muttered.
Now… People of Interest.
This was underlined three times with Ned’s red pens, with extensive subcategories.
Subcategory A? Villains, because “what if they put out a warning for a known villain and you get your butt kicked because you didn’t know about them, Peter? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”
He had replied, half focused on the list and the other on savoring the Millennium Falcon Lego set May had saved up for months to get him for his birthday, “I feel like if I was getting my butt kicked by a villain, I’d probably have better things to worry about than my utter humiliation, Ned.”
“True that,” Ned had snicked and jotted it down anyways.
And… well, Gotham had a lot of villains. The Joker (ew, that’s a crusty man in crustier face paint. This guy could learn so much from the cool mimes busking in Central Park. Like, how to do face paint. Or how not to be a massive murderous jerk. There’s Clayface, Two-Face, a bald guy in “Metropolis” (a name Peter couldn’t help but snort at because a city named city? That’s like na’an bread being bread bread. Or chai tea being tea tea) named Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow. He tabbed all of them and marked them for further perusal at a later date. From experience, he knew villains with a prominent M.O. and themes usually did more damage. Case in point: Rhino, and the million dollars of property damage the guy did everytime he escaped the Raft. Peter was seriously considering petitioning for the Raft to be placed further out just so he could have more warning the next time some assholes decided to free the prisoners and helped them escape.
He narrowed his eyes at the screen, his mask’s lenses following the movement. He’ll have to pick up a gas mask. Apparently bio-weapons are just a regular thing here and he really didn’t want to get dosed with this “fear toxin.” It’d be dangerous for everyone involved. Maybe if he gets his hands on a sample, he could build up tolerance and see how his immune system and metabolic rates affected the normal progression of the toxin. Ah, off topic. He’s gotta focus.
Subcategory B: Local celebrities.
“Why would I need to know local celebrities?” He’d asked.
“If someone came up to you and asked “Who’s Tony Stark?”, wouldn’t you clock that as super weird? You gotta blend in, Peter. Plus, you gotta keep up with the pop culture, dude. It’s important.”
“You just want alternate universe memes,” Peter grinned.
“That too. If you ever go to an alternate universe and come back, you’d better bring me a truckload of memes or I’ll never forgive you.”
Yeah. So. Wayne? Super important. Like Tony Stark levels of important. He found threads about them and the local vigilantes and their charity works. Peter’s brain instantly catalogued the info, all but memorizing the deluge of pictures he found of Bruce Wayne and his kids. Maybe the man had an adoption problem? Conspiracy threads and memes popped up alongside his research. He tabbed one on secret societies, because as Spiderman, he had fought a disturbing amount of secret societies that, on hindsight, had been theorized about on threads he’s read on his free time. Somehow, somewhere, somewhen, a conspiracy theorist could be right. Peter’s not about to dismiss that. He also saved like thirty different memes to send to Ned when he got back. If he got back.
Peter smacked that thought away. He’ll get back to his city or die trying.
Subcategory C, underlined and starred: Other Superheroes and Vigilantes.
Yeah, Peter’s excited about this one too. After Matt stopped being Dare Devil (but did he actually ever stop?) and Wade dipping in and out of NY, Peter’s gotten lonely as Spider-Man. He missed training with them. Of course, the fantastic four were still operating, but he doesn’t actually interact with them or the Avengers at all. Miles hasn’t been cleared (by his mom) to go out as Spiderman with near as many hours as Peter cleared a night. Peter stood behind that because he remembered how horrible it was to work as Spiderman and try to balance school on top of it. Also, he was terrified of Mrs. Morales and would never endanger her son more than he already does. He did wave to Black Widow from a rooftop once, spider to spider, and that was pretty much the coolest moment of his life.
So. Uh. The amount of vigilantes and heroes in this world? Amazing. In Gotham? There’s like, a whole team of them.
Batman, Nightwing (who, Username: Draken Draken had theorized, was the first iteration of Batman’s sidekick Robin), Red Hood, Black Canary, Huntress, Red Robin, Spoiler, the “day vigilante” Signal, the current Robin, and whispers of a “Black Bat.”
And their unfortunate “No Meta” rule with the singular exception of Signal. Peter figured their term of Meta was essentially the same thing as his world’s mutants. He’s not sure which term he liked more. Eh, he’ll worry about that later.
And there’s a Justice League! Which, to Peter, is just a bigger Avengers. There’s aliens on this world too. Superman. Martian Manhunter.
Peter grinned from his place crouched next to the dumpster. Yeah, this is awesome. He quickly memorized everything he could find, cross referencing posts and picking out the nuggets of truth or at least popular truth from the posts he viewed. Like, Red Hood operated in Crime Alley and was a crime boss with morals. Cool.
He’ll go down the spiral later. He mentally thanked Ned who was the best guy in the chair a teenage vigilante could ask for. He should really text his friend when he got back.
For now, he’ll head to the library and see if he could use their computers. He might need a card though… Peter quickly pulled up the search engine and found an Internet cafe. Ah, 24 hour internet cafes, the savior of his college days. There first, and then library, Peter decided. He memorized the instructions and pulled his mask off, tucking it away in the hammer space.
He walked out the alley and turned left, only to double take at his reflection in a shop window that was partially boarded up. Holy shit, he’s a baby. He’s like. 10!
Oh my god.
Peter twitched, tearing himself away from the window before the shop owner decided he was less curious and more potential mugger before promptly remembering that he looked less of a threat than ever. Mixed feelings.
Peter hurried his way to the internet cafe, paying the guy at the front a little extra so he’d ignore the obvious minor without a guardian thing Peter hasn’t gotten used to. Ugh. That was going to be annoying. He only paid for two hours and pulled up as many listings for a room as possible. By the end of it, he came out with $1 worth of fliers printed out and having funneled some billionaire’s offshore accounts into a new bank account he’d made by hacking into the bank servers. Does he feel bad about stealing? Yeah. But Peter’s a vigilante. He’s done worse than nabbing a monthly sum of a couple of hundreds from Lex Luthor’s off shore accounts. He’s not gonna get caught, and considering the guy’s rants on meta humans, Peter’s not feeling particularly guilty about it. He’ll do something good later to make up for it. Once he gets his footholds and can prepare his way back, he’ll even return to the rest of the money. Probably.
Peter left the cafe with his sheaf of flyers, stopping by an informational stand with free tourist maps and plucked one quickly from its plastic holder. He’ll pick something up from the food vendors on his way to the apartments. Peter began walking, taking in the sights of the gargoyles and-
“Nope!” He caught the wrist of a pickpocket. It’s a kid and he immediately felt bad.
“Lemme go. I ain’t done nothing to ya, ya Yorker tourist.”
“Okay,” Peter shrugged. “Don’t get caught the next time?”
The kid gaped at him. “Shi’, you must be really good at it. I’ve never been caught before.”
Peter wisely refrained from telling the kid it was due to his spidey-sense. He let go of the kid’s wrist and let a bit more of his accent out. “Why’d you need money anyways?”
“Food, duh.”
“Dude, I’m starving. Tell you what. You show me the best sub shop nearby and I’ll pay for your food. Deal?”
The kid stared at him, wide eyed. “You’re fuckin’ nuts. Why’re you being nice?”
“I’m hungry? Do we have a deal, kid?”
“… Fuck it. Fine. And don’t call me kid, shrimp. You’re like what, eight?”
Oh. Yeah. Peter’s a kid now. He shrugged.
“I’m older than you. I’m twelve.”
Peter blinked, frowning at how thin the kid’s wrists were.
“I’m Peter!”
“… Frank.”
He let Frank lead the way. Stranger danger doesn’t apply to him, he’s a grown ass man. In the body of a ten year old him, but still. A couple of minutes, four sandwiches and a load of chips later, Frank was watching wide eyed as he demolished three four dollar subs.
“Holy shit. Where are you packing that away? You’re a stick!”
Peter took a big bite of the sandwich as an answer. Frank looked down at his meal.
“Uh. Hey.”
Peter made a muffled noise of question, mouth stuffed full of steak and cheese.
“Sorry about. Uh. Trynna nick from ya.”
Peter chewed faster.
Frank continued, looking like he hated himself. “I wouldn’t… normally steal from shrimps like you but I was desperate and… really hungry, so. My bad.”
Peter finished chewing. “All good, dude. Eat your sandwich.”
Peter had the sudden urge to adopt Frank. Unlike Wayne, he’s not a billionaire, so he smacked that urge down. He could use a friend though. Now… how to be friends with a literal child!
“If you feel that bad about it, you could… be my friend?”
Peter took in the wide eyed gaze from the twelve year old in front of him. Abort! Abort! That was too direct!
“You’re fucking weird. But… okay.”
“That was easy.”
Frank scowled, kicking Peter’s shin.
“Ow!”
“Whatever, shrimp.”
Peter scowled. On his baby face, it came out as a pout.
Do not start beef with a twelve year old, Peter. You’re a grown ass adult.
“Hey, you know I’m new here, right?”
“Duh.” Frank took a bite of his food.
“Can you tell me which one of these are legit?” Peter handed Frank the flyers. He took them, an odd look passing his face.
“You’re looking for a place?”
“Yeah? Why?”
Frank stared at him. Looked back down. He instantly got rid of four listings out of the ten. “These are too close to the Alley. They’re probably traffickers.”
Peter hummed in agreement. Frank paused.
“You’re just gonna trust me on that?”
“Yeah? I can tell when people are lying.” Well, his spidey sense could, when he cared enough about the subject.
“What the fuck.” Frank shoved the rest the papers at him and guiltily munched on his food. “Are Yorkers all just like you?”
“Dunno? Probably not.”
“… Whatever. The rest of the places should work. They probably won’t ask questions.” Frank flapped a hand at Peter’s new situation. Yeah, the shortness was getting to him too.
Peter nodded. Obviously, they were the more expensive places, but considering the new found resources he’d… acquired during his time at the cafe, it doesn’t really matter.
“Cool! Wanna go see it with me?”
Frank immediately took on a suspicious glare. “Why?”
“I dunno? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought since you know your way around…”
“Ugh. Fine. But if there’s anything shady, I’m fucking dipping out.”
“Okay!” Peter grinned for the first time the couple of hours he’d been trapped in this new world.
——
They’d found an apartment with a landlord that got a weird, sad face when she was talking to them about the apartment. After like, an hour of walking around and Peter’s spidey sense screaming at him not to even go near the places Frank had left in the pile of maybe’s.
“We walked all the way here. Ya not even gonna go in?”
“The vibes are off. It’s a no.”
And because Peter’s a genius idiot with no self preservation, he’d marked the places to investigate later.
Frank had blinked at him, mildly offended and nonplussed. After a while of spluttering, he just gave up. Eventually, they got here.
“I don’t normally rent to kids,” the landlord lady said. Peter immediately liked her. “But I’ll make an exception if you’ve got the cash.”
“I’d like to see the unit first, please” Peter said. He’s not stupid, and Gotham’s renting scene is both easier and harder than New York.
They toured it. Peter? He’d seen worse. He’d lived worse. Also, it had two bedroom and was $620. Yeah, Peter was really considering just staying here full time and commuting to his New York when he wanted to be a vigilante.
“I’ll take it, ma’am.” The landlord and Frank both snorted, sharing a Gothamite look.
“It’s Georgie, to you, brat. You just need the first month’s rent, since I’ll wave the deposit for you shrimps. Utilities included. Your friend stayin’?”
“No-” Frank had started.
“Yep!” Peter beamed, interrupting his new friend.
“What?” Frank turned, gaping again at this weird little kid who had enough money to rent a place and then invited a whole ass street kid he just met to live with him. “Are you stupid?! What if I rob you? Huh? I don’t need charity!”
Peter slowly looked around the empty unit.
“Uh.”
“No, that’s not the point!” Frank pointed a finger at Peter. “That’s how you get yourself killed!”
“But that’s why you should stay! I don’t know my way around Gotham so…”
Peter looked up at Frank, using his shortness for maximum devastation. “Please?”
Georgie leaned back on the heels of her feet, silently laughing. It’s not every day she sees a Gothamite street kid get out stubborned by an outsider, but she knows better than anyone that Gotham is weak to genuine kindness. And this Peter kid, the one that reminds her so much of her own? He’s practically filled with it.
“Yeah, kid,” she said to Frank, snickering. “Look at him. He’s gonna get mugged two steps into the Alley. Or anywhere.”
Frank flailed, but eventually, Peter handed over the money to an amused Georgie who gave them two keys in return and a move in gift of a pot pie.
“I gotta. Uh. Go get my stuff.” Frank had mumbled, dazed at whatever the hell just happened.
“Okay! I’ll see if I can go get furniture!”
“And lift them with your shrimpy arm? You wish.”
“I can use a cart.”
And really, he could, because Gotham had a lot of abandoned carts laying around. Like a concerning amount.
“Can you even reach the handle?”
“I’m not that short!”
Frank snorted, Georgie’s own chuckles following a beat after. Peter scowled at them.
“Be right back,” Frank promised, holding the key like it was treasure. He had been homeless for two and a half years now, so in his eyes, that key was as good as gold. He had somewhere warm to stay. Trying to pickpocket Peter was the best mistake he’s ever made in his short life. But he didn’t want to take advantage of that, well, no, he did want to, but he doesn’t want to take the genuine kindness for granted so he’ll see if there’s any street furniture he could haul back on his way.
“Okay!”
Georgie watched him go and turned to Peter.
“If you need stuff, there’s a thrift store and a grocery store that way.” She gave him the directions.
——
As soon as Frank and Georgie left, Peter immediately left his new place (and holy shit, he really didn’t expect things to be this easy. In New York, he had to spend at least a week checking out places because he had to figure out whether the problem that cause subtle twinges with his spider sense was worth living with. Here? It’s too obvious.) to buy supplies. He had $400. Until his new card came in, at least. He’d put his new address into that bank account addressed to a “Anthony Benjamin” before ordering a “replacement card.”
Peter ran to the thrift store, hurrying before the last traces of the sun dipped below the smog of Gotham. A frankly absurd amount of blankets, towels, pillows, clothes, packaged boxers, socks and shoes around his size went into the cart. To his chagrin, Peter couldn’t actually see much over the cart. Why the hell was he such a short ten year old? He blasted through the store, also guesstimating Frank’s sizes. He tossed in curtains, a used set of glow in the dark stars, and a lamp.
He also grabbed mismatched mugs, bowls, a bundle of cutlery, and a dented microwave he casually pretended to struggle getting onto the bottom part of the cart. It’s like lifting grapes for him, but he looks like a ten year old so…
He, guiltily, bought a mildly fancy camera in a set, with two separate lenses, even if one was cracked.
Not bad, for $150 total. Peter is going to definitely seriously consider commuting to New York. They didn’t even care when he walked out with the cart! Well, that might be because of the cashier who gave him a pitying glance.
He stopped by a general store on the way back, parking his cart in a rapidly shadowy alleyway. He swung by the new section of the store that reminded him of a Dollar Tree and got cleaning supplies, toiletries, and two pans and a pot. He grabbed some canned food and a couple of frozen meals in the back. Seasonings, ramen, general pantry staples went in. A role of paper towel. Nice. Venom would have loved this store. With half of his budget blown for essentials, Peter quickly cut his spending off and
He quickly gathered his stuff and went back to the apartment, using his strength a bit to lift the full cart up the stairs at the front doors and into the elevator. It creaked like the first time they used it to go see the apartment, but it worked. Peter set everything up in the living room, pillow and blanket wise, and put everything in its proper place. The lamp was put up, giving more light than the old bulb in the ceiling light.
All Peter wanted to do was pass out, but since his dumbass took in a child, he couldn’t sleep until this place was relatively fit for a kid to live in. He also wanted to wait for
So, that’s what he did. Taking a sponge and the cleaning supplies he’d picked up earlier, Peter tackled the living room, scrubbing away at old stains and spraying mildew. He marked trouble spots- like that splinter worthy piece of floor next to the doorway leading to the hall between the bedrooms. Then the kitchen. By the time Frank cautiously peeked his head in from the front door, Peter had already finished scrubbing the over.
“Hey.”
Peter turned, grime on his face but grinning. “Hey!” I bought some stuff!”
Frank snorted at his face before glancing around the living room, eyeing the cart parked neatly on the side.
“So you did. Didn’t get mugged, did ya?”
“Rude. No, of course not.”
Frank gave him a… frankly… unimpressed look and dumped his bag next to the pile of blankets and pillows Peter had piled onto the floor. Sue hi’, they didn’t have beds yet.
“Got somethin’ for ya,” Frank said neutrally before dragging in…
“A coffee table!” Peter bounced towards Frank, hugging him before lugging in the heavy wooden table in. “You’re the best! Where’d you find it?!”
The tension, anxiety about Peter’s reaction, in Frank’s shoulders relaxed and the kid grinned. “Alley. Some asshole just left it there for anyone to hit with their car so I took it.”
“Nice! We can eat on this!”
——
When they were getting ready for bed, Peter insisting on showers for both of them, Frank had reared up at the clothes Peter bought for him. Peter pretended like he didn’t see anything and shove a whole tube of toothpaste and a new toothbrush at him.
“Ew. Do I have to?” Frank asked, wrinkling his nose but taking the items anyways.
“Yeah.” Peter said seriously. Frank gave a moment to wonder why he was taking orders from an eight year old before shrugging. He could brush his teeth in exchange for a roof over his head, food, and clothes. It’s not even a fair trade, for Peter, anyways. Frank was enough of an alley rat to take advantage of that.
——
When Frank passed out, Peter couldn’t sleep. He’s exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep.
So he took his new camera and climbed the fire escape to the roof top.
An hour later, he met his first vigilante.
“Hey, kiddo. I’m gonna need you to back away from the edge.”
“Woah!” Peter startled, jolting slightly off of the ledge he was balanced on. He twisted around to see Red Robin, hand outstretched and panicked look in his eyes.
“Dude. Warn a guy!” Peter said, even though his spider sense warned him of an approaching person that was actively watching him.
Red Robin held his hands up. “My bad. Would you- uh, not be on that ledge?”
“Yeah, sure. My bad, bro.” Peter obligingly stood up and stepped away from the ledge. Red Robin relaxed then did a double take. Peter frowned. Is there something on his face?
“What are you doing up here, kiddo? It’s late.”
Peter decided to scope out the vigilante. “Couldn’t sleep,” he held up his camera. “I’m taking pictures.”
“Oh. That’s cool! Can I see?” Red Robin approached warily, but relaxed when Peter didn’t spook and try to take a shortcut to ground floor.
“Sure! It’s a new, well, not new but new to me, camera so I haven’t had all that time to mess with the specs but the pictures turned out pretty good-”
“Oh, woah. This one’s great. That composition? Amazing. You caught the light perfectly,” Red Robin complimented. Peter brightened, knowing a photography fan when he hears one.
“Photography buddy!” He cheered.
They talked for an hour after that, but Red Robin quickly sent him to bed once he remembered the time.
“Ah, shi- crap. It’s like 2AM. You’ve gotta go to bed.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry if I interrupted your patrol, Mr. Red Robin!”
“No problem, kid.” Peter slipped back down the fire escape, not caring if the vigilante saw where he lived.
——
Up on the rooftop, Red Robin pressed a hand to his comm.
“Red Robin to Nightwing.”
“What’s up, Red?”
“Do you have a kid you don’t know about?” Tim said, bluntly.
“… What?”
“Oracle, can you share my cowl footage?”
“Copy. Oh, that kid…”
“Looks exactly like Wing?” Tim said, peering down at the empty fire escape. “Yeah. Talked like him too.”
“Oh my god, he’s adorable.” Oracle said. Tim agreed. That curly hair? Baby face? Adorable. A bean. “Did you get DNA?”
“Ah, shit, I knew I forgot something.”
“Do not break into his place and nab a hair,” Nightwing reprimanded, but his voice sounded distracted.
“Holy shit, you guys nerded out about camera placement and lighting for an hour?” Hood piped up.
“Get some rest, Red Robin. You’ve been working too hard,” Batman grunted through the comms. Awkward… but he’s been getting better at communicating his worry for his kids.
“Sure thing, B. Heading back to the main cave. Red Robin out.
——
Peter: lay low and get home
Also Peter: talks to a vigilante
None of them think Peter’s Nightwing’s yet. Peter will know before them… eventually. Once this world’s version of him gives up his memories to be absorbed by AU Peter.
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jihyoruri · 7 months
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 RICH GIRL kim chaewon x reader
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↳ warnings: idol au, 6th member reader, yn drives chaewon crazy
MOST GROUPS IN THE INDUSTRY had a good and sturdy relationship with their members and especially if you’re the leader, the foundation of a good relationship with your members is the best thing to have.
but that just wasn’t the case with chaewon and yn, well just chaewon.
she couldn’t stand her member yn the moment she walked into that practice room to prepare for debut and yn stuck out like sore thumb, her practice clothes looked too expensive for something to be sweating in.
yn was a rich girl but not just any kind of rich, she was the rich that will last generations, her family was huge in the country, probably the most privileged family in korea to exist.
and chaewon hated that. she didn’t understand why yn would even want to be an idol when she was set for life, why couldn’t she leave the spot open for someone who actually needs it to make money.
she also found yn very stuck up in her opinion, she was a diva and a brat and chaewon doesn’t understand how the other girls love her so much when all she does is complain.
like right now.
“you mean I have to get in the water right after I just straightened my hair?” the rich girl said, the look of the disgust was apparent on her face as she moves forward to take a look at chaewon from the backseat, “that’s ridiculous.”
chaewon squeezed her eyes shut as yunjin laughed and patted yn’s shoulder, “yn, I can’t control what we do in concept photos.”
yn pouted and leaned back in her seat and rested her head on yunjin’s shoulder, “I could control it.” she mutters softly to herself causing yunjin to shake her head knowing that yn’s words would trigger the leader.
chaewon feels something snap in her and she immediately turns to look at yn with anger in her eyes, “you can’t call your daddy for everything princess.” she says a vain nearly popping out of her head.
yn doesn’t even flinch at the leaders harsh tone, completely used to it and just lets out a sigh, “I would actually call my mother for your information.” she says before picking up her phone to look at herself in her camera, “and I look so hot too, oh my gosh this sucks.” she whines.
chaewon would’ve lunged at yn in the car if it wasn’t for sakura gripping her shoulder firmly so all she did was clench her fists and turn back around to the front.
this was gonna be a long day.
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chaewon stands with kazuha and yunjin as they waited for yn, eunchae and sakura to come out of hair and makeup to take the photos.
she heard loud laughs getting louder and louder and stopped herself from rolling her eyes, knowing immediately who it was.
she watched as eunchae and sakura waked in with arms linked while yn walked behind them with one of their managers holding his arm and laughing.
if there was one thing chaewon couldn’t stand about yn it was the way she acted with that manger, he was on the younger side the closest to their age and it was like yn was attached to him, all she did was hold onto him and laugh at everything that came out his mouth.
oh, how chaewon couldn’t stand it.
she tries her best to not roll her eyes and watched as yn let go of his arm and walked over to them, as much as she hated to admit it yn was beautiful and she looked even more beautiful in her outfit.
when yn made her way over to them she immediately linked her arm with yunjin’s and told the girl how amazing she looked.
what about the rest of us? Is what she wanted to bud in and ask but held her tongue.
all six girls huddled together as the photographer stood in front of them, “so we’re gonna do pairs first take a break and then do group photos.” he explained as the girls nodded.
“okay first we have chaewon and yn.” he calls causing chaewon to tense immediately, her and yn had fortunately never had to do something together alone.
why does she have so much bad luck?
yn walked over to the set and waited for chaewon who slowly walked up over, “hello! how about we do this today!” yn calls out sassily causing everyone including the staff to laugh as chaewon flushes in embarrassment.
she reluctantly walked over faster and stands beside yn waiting for instructions.
“okay, so yn i need you to get in the water.” he says and yn lets out a sigh and carefully gets in the pool, “and chaewon I need you to sit on the ledge.”
chaewon can’t help but smile at the look at the pout on yn’s face, the girl obviously not liking that she was the only one in the water
chaewon sits on the ledge and lets her feet dip into the water before waiting for the rest of the instructions.
“okay, now yn i need you to rest your cheek on chaewon’s thigh and look straight into the camera.” chaewon tenses at the instruction as yn rest her cheek on her thigh without a thought, following his instructions completely.
“great, now chaewon i need you to look down at yn and just hold that pose.” she follows the instructions and looks down at yn who looks straight and chaewon can’t help but think about how pretty she looks, its a shame she’s so insufferable.
“perfect!, okay now next pose, chaewon i need you in the water.”
chaewon reluctantly gets in the water and waits for the rest of the instructions, “I need you guys to tangle up together, wrap your arms around each other.”
chaewon immediately reddened at that instruction as yn once again without a thought in her head pulled chaewon close to her and wrapped her arms around the leaders neck before looking into the camera.
chaewon tried her best to follow yn’s lead but she felt like she was on fire, this was her first time being this close to yn and she had this weird feeling in her stomach the whole time like butterflies, but that couldn’t be right?
between takes yn whispers in chaewon’s ear, “why are you being more pissy than usual today?”
chaewon tries her best to not roll her eyes and whispers back, “maybe if you stopped flirting with our manager I wouldn’t be so pissy.”
yn opens her mouth to respond but the photographer called out that they were done and chaewon immediately pulled herself away from the arms and got out of the pool before walking over to Sakura who had a towel leaving the girl in the pool.
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chaewon avoided yn for the rest of the shoot, the feeling that she was getting around the girl was throwing her off completely so she ignored the girl for the rest of the shoot, hoping that she could also ignore at the dorms as well.
but when does things ever go her way?
chaewon heard a knock one her bed room and before she could ask who is it the person opened it already.
she let out a groan when she saw yn in her door way, the girl was in chanel pjs and had a sheet mask on her face with fuzzy slippers.
“you couldn’t knock?” chaewon asks but yn doesn’t answer and just walks more into the girls room.
“gosh , your room is disgusting.” she says scrunching up her face as she scanned the leaders room, “a custom made mirror would look good right here.” she says motioning towards one of the walls.
“what do you want yn? I don’t need suggestions from you.”
“everyone needs suggestions from me.” yn says as she picks up a dirty sweater off of chaewon’s floor and throws it on a chair, “but that’s not why im here.”
chaewon raises a brow waiting for the girl to continue, “I was thinking about what you said earlier about me flirting with our manager.”
“and?”
“and? I was wondering why me flirting with him would make you so mad but then it hit me.” yn said walking closer to chaewon’s bed, “I know why.”
“you do?” yn is actually self aware and knows how insufferable she is? chaewon asks herself.
“yep.” yn nods her head, “you have a crush on me!”
chaewon’s eyes widened so big they looked like they were gonna pop out of her head, “what?!”
“and it all makes sense!” yn continues, “you being so mean to me was probably a cover up for how much you’re in love with me.”
chaewon couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“me flirting with our manager was probably your last straw, how cute.” yn says flipping her hair, “right?”
all chaewon could do was look at yn in shock, this was the first time she was genuinely speechless.
“all you had to do was ask me on a date leader.” yn says teasingly before walking towards chaewon’s door. “I’d say yes” she winks before walking out of chaewon’s room closing the door calling out a good night.
chaewon’s is still staring in shock.
what just happened?
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