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fallingdownhell · 2 years ago

Note

Hello!

Could I request headcanons of Diluc, Xiao Zhongli, and Ayato with a demonic water dragon s/o?

Her dragon form is huge, with a serpent-like body, covered in scales blacker than the night, has 2 pairs of horns (the top pair curve upward and the bottom pair curve downward), sharp fangs and claws.

I'm gonna be honest, I have never written anything like this. It's new, but I like to challenge myself, so thank you. Hope I could satisfy you with the way I went about it.

Characters Included: Diluc; Xiao; Zhongli; Ayato

Content: gender neutral reader; shapeshifting; established relationship (Diluc; Ayato); getting together (Xiao; Zhongli);

Word count: 2,5k words

Hope you like it and sorry it took me so long to write.

Diluc

he would be absolutely clueless

he thinks you're a normal human just like him, only that you are a little obsessed with water and always want to be close to a big body of water

It's a good thing that Dawn Winery is so close to a huge lake

he always knows he can find you there, sitting by the shore if he can't find you anywhere else in the mansion

today however, something was not right when he went looking for you down at the shore

he saw you sitting there, feet in the cold water of the lake, nothing unusual about that

but... was there something laying behind you? Why was is swinging side to side from time to time? And why did your head look kinda weird, too?

Diluc didn't know what to think or expect, but he went closer to you nonetheless, not wanting to assume

When he did get closer, he noticed that those things seemed to be attached to you

As he was pracitcally behind you now, he finally made his presence known and you immediately jumped up, scared out of your mind since you didn't notice anyone approaching you. You even let out a deep, warning growl until you realized that it was Diluc

You started to relax a bit, but as you saw how he was looking at you, you realized that you forgot about something very important

Before you could run away - which you were definitely trying to do just now - Diluc grabbed you by the wrist, silently begging you to stay

You reluctantly do so, expecting to be bombarded with questions, which... never came?

He was just standing there, taking in your half-transformed state and with each passing second, you grew more and more restless

Soon enough, the questions started to come, but instead of being all over the place, he seemed to keep his cool, asking you one thing after the other

He even asked to see your other form, but you declined that, not wanting to shock him any more than you already have. He accepts that, but deep down, he really does want to see it

Surprisingly to you, he doesn't seem too put off about that reveal. Sure he has to get used to the fact that you are... dragon? Half-dragon? Diluc isn't too sure, but he doesn't mind

After all, this detail didn't change anything about the feelings you both had for the other. So why would he change his views of you? It was just another aspect of you and he could understand why you kept that hidden from him

Not many people would react to such a revelation the way he had reacted

Does ask to see your full form from time to time, but never pressuring you. He's just really interested, he was fascinated by the color of your scales at that time already, he couldn't imagine what it would look like when your entire body was covered in them

When you finally agree, he is mesmerized by your sheer size and the colours, absolutely can NOT take his eyes off of you

Swears to protect your secret and falls even more in love with you when he learns that you can also transform into a half-half form

Overall a pretty positive reaction from him, which you would have never thought would happen, but you sure as hell aren't complaining about it

Xiao

Immediatley knows.. upon your first meeting he just knows that something is up with you

you are no adeptus, but you aren't a human being either

yet he can't seem to figure it out, either, and that bothers him

he is supposed to protect this land, yet how can he do that when he can't even pick out what exactly you are

would keep taps on you and your activities, trying to determine wether or not you would become a threat he has to exterminate

he follows you around for quite some time. In fact, it almost becomes a routine for him and he doesn't realize it but at some point, he also knows your usual schedule by heart

why does he want to smile whenever he sees you interact with the children of Liyue Harbor? What is this warm feeling inside his chest?

Panics when he realizes this and tries to keep his distance from now on, but he quickly learns that he can't seem to stay away from you for too long

there's just something about you that keeps pulling him in, wether he wants to or not... and he also still has to make sure you're not a threat.. at least, that's what he tells himself

if he were to be honest, deep down, he was already convinced that you're not dangerous, but he needs and excuse to come and see you

that is, until one fateful day

he was fighting against some demonic creatures at Yaoguang Shoal. There were many of them and they kept coming, his karmic debt starting to wear him down as well

he was threatening to be overpowered, not being able to control the pain any longer since he had been fighting for quite some time already, when a huge shadow appeared out of nowhere

as he saw this huge dragon form approaching, he mentally prepared himself for a fight, but also for the possibilty of his death... when suddenly, against his expectations, the dragon attacked the demonic creatures instead of him

stunned for a second, Xiao quickly recovered and joined the fight again, this time at the side of this unexpected ally

with the help, it was over pretty quickly, but Xiao kept his guard up, not being able to predict what would happen next

then, the form of the dragon started to glow, then began to shrink until it was as small as a human. The glow kept fading and then the next moment, he was facing you

Xiao was confused, the emotions for once being obviously displayed on his face as he looked at you, connecting the dots in his head

"There, now you finally know. Can you stop stalking me now?"

You said this, with a teasing smile on your lips, indicating that you were aware of him all along, but seemingly not minding it that much.

On the other hand, Xiao was mortified. Without any reply, he teleported back to Wangshuu Inn, where he tried to process what had just happened

He kept to himself for a few days, and probably would have done so for longer, if it wasn't for you, seeking him out to talk to him about all the things that had happened

from this point on would be where your relationship started to bloom, Xiao slowly coming to terms with his feelings for you

he is not bothered by your upbringing at all. In fact, this meant that you were "blessed" with a long life just like him, so he wouldn't have to fear losing you far too soon again

sure, he still has to get used to it, but he is fascinated more than anything else. Constantly asks you questions, wanting to learn all there is about you

would care deeply for you, and depending on your believes, would keep it a secret from others if you were to ask this of him

Zhongli

just like Xiao, he also knows immediately that something is up with you

but unlike the adeptus that watches over Liyue, Zhongli figures it out on his own rather quickly

after all, he spent many years as a dragon himself, so of course he would recognise someone of that species

but it still gets him thinking... because, dragons don't exist that largly anymore, especially not the ones with the ability to shapeshift

he really wants to approach you and talk to you about this topic, but he also knows that he can't, as it would probably come across as creepy, especially if he were to bring something like that up in broad daylight with people surrounding you all

so, instead, he invites you out for a day. You spend the entire afternoon and evening together, ending the little get-together with a walk around the almost abandoned harbor at night

This is when Zhongli decides to bring this topic up, having felt the urge to ask you throughout the entire day

when he does, your eyes widen, not having expected anyone to ever get behind your little secret. You were scared.. scared of what he might do to you and him telling everyone else

Zhongli on the other hand, only now realized why you were looking so scared. He wanted to assure you that he would not tell anyone, but he also knew that you were not likely to believe him at all. He had to prove himself somehow..

and the only way he could think of would be to reveal his true identity to you, as well

at first, you obviously don't believe him, because... who would? A random person, claiming to be the God of Contracts, watching over the entire nation of Liyue? Yeah, as if.

But then, you have no choice but to believe him when he transforms into a half human, half dragon state infront of your very eyes

you suddenly feel extremely connected to him and instead of saying anything, simply follow his example, revealing half of your dragon form to him

Zhongli is mesmerized by the beauty the colour of your scales take. He wants nothing more than to trace along them with his fingers, the urge almost too strong to resist, but he does

you two begin to bond over that shared experience, your connection growing stronger and stronger with each passing day

your identites are a secret to everyone except you two, which only helps in strengthening that shared bond

it's hard to say who falls in love first, but it's not like that matters. It happened and that's the only important thing, since it led to the most fulfilling and loved relationship you ever had

Zhongli was enamoured with you, willing to do anything for you. Plus, he was an expert at keeping things hidden from other people, so you would never have to worry about people finding out about you. At least if you don't want that to happen

Either way, Zhongli swore to always stay by your side and protect you, and he plans on keeping this promise....always

Ayato

he would be just as clueless as Diluc

sure, he and his people did make a background-check on you before Ayato started to pursue you romantically, but that didn't bring anything unusual to light

nowadays, you and Ayato were engaged, with you already living with him at the Kamisato estate

he loved the open affinity you displayed towards water. He could often find you sitting outside, looking out towards the sea, lost in your own thoughts

you never seemed to care about the weather. More often than once had he found you sitting outside at night, the cold not seeming to bother you at all

At times like these, he would go grab a blanket before he sat down behind you, wrapping you two into the warmth of the fabric as you lean back against his chest, still looking towards the ocean

you also once told him that you adored the fact he had been blessed with a hydro vision. According to you, it made him smell like the ocean you so adored, his touch cool and calming on your skin

at first, he was a bit taken aback by the statement, but once he thought about it, he couldn't help but seeing it as a compliment towards him

at some point, the guilt starts to build up inside you, feeling bad that you hide such an important thing about yourself

you feel like he should know before you guys get married, since it might change his view on you. And what if he someday finds out by accident and then accuses you of lying to him?

No, you definitely don't want that to happen, so you decide to tell him

You write Ayato a little note, telling him to meet you down at the beach where you two can talk in private

he is a bit concerned at this, trying to think if he did something wrong or if he might have upset you in any way

instead of meeting you after his work, he decides to abandon it alltogether, making his way to you immediately

you're a bit surprised to see him this early, but you also welcome it. This way, you don't have time to overthink things and just tell him

When you tell him that you want to share a secret with him, Ayato is perplexed at first. He thought that there was nothing kept hidden between the two of you, but he also didn't want to judge just based on this statement

so, he tried to keep an open mind and signaled for you to tell him. When you did, it was obvious he didn't believe you. He didn't need to say anything, his eyes were telling it all

so, with a deep breath in, you started to transform entirely, your form growing huge, scales as dark as the night decorating your entire body, until Ayato was a mere peck of dust next to you

He watched all of this happen, equally terrified as well as fascinated. He honest to god thought you were joking, that this was one of those pranks people like to play on their significant others

you, after having proven your point, transformed back, now looking unsure, not knowing what to expect of his reaction

he, in the most diplomatic tone ever, told you that he would need some time to think, which you nodded, understanding that request fully

so, you waited. And those days were the absolute horror for you. Luckily, it didn't seem like Ayato told anyone, the people of the estate still talking to you and treating you like they usually did

but you haven't seen or heard anything from Ayato at all

the first time he comes to you again is after five days. And what he does confuses you even more. He just comes up to you, kissing you on the cheek and greeting you good morning like nothing had happened

before you have the chance to ask him about it, he is gone again, so you wait until you catch him in a quiet moment

And when you ask him about it, he just shrugs his shoulders. "Well, you're still you. That fact doesn't change anything. You're still my spouse and I still love you."

You're beyond relieved that he's not bothered by it, having expected the worst already

Ayato on the other hand, doesn't want to admit it, but that little revelation made him even more whipped for you than he already was

But that's something that you don't have to know about...

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yanderes-galore · 8 months ago

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Also another yandere concept for Narancia because again Yandere potential

Sure! Just a warning, I started this late at night because I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wait, so spelling and grammar may be incorrect. Decided to cover overall behavior and tendencies more than an actual plot.

Yandere! Narancia Ghirga Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Anger issues, Stalking, Manipulation, Jealousy, Violence, Delusional behavior, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Threats, Blood, Murder implied, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Narancia could be considered a very clingy and volatile yandere.

He's had a tough upbringing and would definitely be overly attached to someone he likes.

His behavior and Stand bring up some things to consider with him being a yandere.

For example, he can use Aerosmith to stalk you by tracking your breathing.

Narancia doesn't even have to be all that close and the ability means you can't leave easily.

Narancia is a yandere you have to be careful around.

I say this due to his temper that can change rather quickly.

He most likely shares this trait with Fugo, but Narancia is more childish.

Narancia may be rough at times, yet he's endlessly loyal.

When obsessed with you he's determined to win over your attention.

Even as an adult in this concept he retains childish behavior.

An example of this is being temperamental and overly upset when jealous.

Due to his temper I wouldn't be surprised if he attacked someone for being too close to you.

It just seems to be his nature.

Narancia is often a handful for his obsession.

He values the bond he has with his obsession and is scared of possible betrayal.

Which makes him nervous that he'll lose your attention.

While Narancia is primarily an unnerving and terrifying yandere, he's so sweet with you.

Sweet to the point others wouldn't suspect a thing.

He's unnerving, threatening, and aggressive with others.

Yet with you he clings to you, all smiles and sweetness.

Even Fugo is perplexed when Narancia is around his favorite person.

Narancia may also be delusional with you, convinced you feel the same about him.

He works as either platonic or romantic, his core yandere is pretty much the same regardless.

Said core yandere is clingy, volatile, and manipulative.

He definitely acts childish when you have to leave him alone.

He often complains and pouts when you tell him you have to go.

Even when you leave he still sends Aerosmith to track you.

When you're away from Narancia, others notice him and see him not being as excited as usual.

He really is at his best (and worse) with you by his side.

Which is why he manipulates you into staying with him as long as possible.

His most terrifying factor is his violent nature.

He always has a switch blade on him and is rather quick to pull it out on people.

The moment anyone says something about you near Narancia, he listens.

Negative or positive, Narancia wants others to keep your name out of their mouths.

He may just cut their tongue out to prevent that.

The thing is, Narancia doesn't seem like he'd be a bad yandere.

But he is.

He's incredibly possessive.

It's to the point he'll threaten or even harm those too close to you.

He works in a gang, he's used to this sort of thing since he was young.

He can be terrifying to someone he doesn't like... then immediately come up to you all smiles.

Oh he adores you.

Finding blood on his clothes isn't new.

You just have to silently hope that he didn't kill some poor soul.

Although, if he wanted that to happen and you not to know about it...

He could always just use Aerosmith.

Fugo may confront Narancia about his obsession, but he only gets told off by his friend.

It's not weird...

Not in Narancia's eyes, at least.

It's dangerous out there, Narancia following you home is just to make sure you get there safely.

Same reason when he uses Aerosmith to guard you!

You just seem to... understand Narancia, which is why you're the one he clings to.

He doesn't seem like he'd kidnap, he seems more into following you around.

He wants you to have some freedom... you wouldn't like him otherwise.

Plus, anyone who gets too close usually ends up with an irritated Narancia confronting them.

Narancia is very needy when it comes to affection and definitely enjoys physical affection.

Things like hugs (alternatively kisses) are things he enjoys.

If anyone has an issue seeing him being affectionate with you, you can guess what happens.

So overall, Narancia is definitely a temperamental and childish yandere who clings to his darling.

He hates to share and will do anything to keep your attention on him.

No one can take you from him once he's attached...

Not unless they want a switchblade in the chest or a barrage of bullets through their flesh.

"Oi, where are you going!? Don't leave yet...! Please stay longer!"

#yandere jojo #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba #yandere narancia ghirga

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valenschmidt · 3 months ago

Note

I'm finding this seasons promos and interviews very interesting in regards to Eddie and Buddie. I mean, like with Tim's recent interview.

Like, Tim, buddy, pal, bro, friend, man, WHAT DO YOU MEAN by "Eddie's going to be left out in the cold, so to speak" bc like, I get Buck is probably excited to learn about this new aspect of himself and delve into this whole other world of dating he didn't really know was for him. I also find it funny how now it seems Tim is reversing their (Buck and Eddie) roles; Eddie perhaps being the jealous one and Buck being, I guess the best word would be oblivious (it's okay, we love him anyway).

I also think it's going to be interesting because, like, Eddie doesn't have Chris to hide behind anymore. Chris was a shield he had learned to use to divulge his personal feelings, deflecting what he felt onto his son, even when chris didn't feel the same (?). He was quite good at that, and I think Chris gave him a way to not look too closely at some things in his life. Some things *cough cough* that might perhaps scare him.

But now that Chris is gone and Buck is dating and exploring new things and not around as much (which is what I gathered from Tim's interview), Eddie is going to have to sit with these thoughts and feelings that have plagued him for a long time, I think, and he's going to have to take a deeper look into who he is and what he wants and feels without having someone to hide behind. And I think some things having to do with that Catholic guilt too are going to come out full force and he's going to have to reevaluate some relationships in his life. *cough*

As the days for the premier draw closer, I can't help but feel that something is coming about Buck and Eddie's friendship and the dynamic they have is going to change drastically. It might be worse for an ep or 2 - one might pull away from the other so much the team gets involved. But I have hope yet!

Hi there nonnie!!!! That is a very interesting and awesome observation you did there and I SO agree with you

I really believe this season Tim is circling back to that 7x04 jealousy dynamic but this time not only from Eddie's pov but ALSO Tommy is a boyfriend that is coming between them, not just a new friend. The fact that Eddie will feel isolated and left behind is probably gonna be because of the same reason Buck felt it before, because Tommy is a man who is kind of replacing him in Buck's life (which had never happened with his previous girlfriends) which is kind of odd if you think about it because if you were never afraid of the women in Buck's life, why does a man who is in that same position as those ex girlfriends threaten you... well that is because their friendship is a very close knit tight, co-dependent one that is VERY similar to a relationship but they don't know it yet. That is why both of them feel replaced when there is man between them. Because them having other friends and taking some distance from eachother is completely healthy and normal but because they have this weird friendship that is more closer to a relationship than friendship itself they feel replaced by a man getting too close so I feel we will see that shift in their dynamic because of it

That second thing is something that I was just talking to my friend about... Eddie is now without Chris and (not quite but it feels that way to him) without Buck so he really will need to have to sit with his thoughts and feelings for a while and it is time for him to do so because he needs to process everything that has happened. He needs to ask himself why he did what he did, why is he so attached to Shannon, his dead wife who literally was going to DIVORCE him right before she died and why does he keep their previous relationship so idealized... the reason??? Well Shannon is the only woman he has ever managed to have feelings for because she was his best friend, he cared about her and so he loved her. But he hasn't managed to replicate that feeling with any woman no matter how hard he tries...

And that is gonna mix with the fact that he's gonna be missing Buck and he'll realize how attached he is to him and maybe begin to connect the dots together and say "Oh. I think I'm in love with my best friend" because he is. Completely in love with Buck... he has been since the will scene at least, but he hasn't realized it because Buck isn't a woman. He hasn't realized that Buck literally has every quality that he looks for in a girlfriend (someone who loves Chris, who has his back, who understands him, etc.) And when he realizes it's gonna be HUGE

And then we will get everything about his sexuality realization, his introspection to every action he's ever done in his life and realizing the explanation to many of the things he's done and felt.

To finish, I think that the dynamic change you talk about it's probably gonna be cause by those feelings Eddie will have about Buck spending time with Tommy. He's gonna feel jealous, threatened, and when he's threatened he becomes petty and mean and that could make him say something that could drive Buck away (which he wasn't before with Eddie but he will be after he gets upset)

Wow that was a lot of talking 🤣

Thank you for sharing your thoughts anon!!!! Feel free to send them any time!!!

#buddie #eddie diaz #buck #evan buckley #911 on abc #911onabc #buck and eddie #eddie and buck #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tommy kinard #season 8 #911onabc s8

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sbi-au-ideas · 3 years ago

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Tommy is a prince. Dream, his older brother and the king, doesn’t make it easy. His location always has tabs on it, with guards following and examining his every move. He’s never been allowed a moment where he’s not playing the role of prince.

Until now.

It had been a mostly normal day, and with his brothers blessing, he was allowed into his garden for a whole 20 minutes. With only 3 guards by his side!

He had loved it for a good while, managing to restrain himself from climbing the singular tree, lest his brother bar him to his room for another 3 weeks.

And then the bandits came.

They made quick work of his guards, restrained Tommy just as easily, and swiped him away from the castle. He noted that they cut off a square of his formal blue shirt and left it. Must be a trademark or something.

Sure, Tommy was scared. Positively terrified even, but c’mon, he’s never been outside the castle! He’s barely even interacted with his own garden. So, naturally, he asked his lovely kidnappers if he could try to climb a tree.

They said no.

At first.

But Tommy didn’t have his Royal advisors out here, or his guards, or just about any eyes on the back of his neck! Which is an extremely rare, precious occasion. So he asked again, and again, and again.

When they finally asked why he wanted to climb a tree so desperately and he told them, they got this weird, pinched look on their face. So he told them that they looked funny.

And then he told them a lot of things. He couldn’t stop talking actually- because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for Tommy! And it’s lasted longer than 5 minutes! He tells them that too, just to be sure. He tells them just about every secret of the kingdom there is to know, and when he sees the brown haired guy start writing it down, he tells them some more, because by Prime does it feel good to spite his brother.

He also tells them that.

The pink haired one looks at blondy, the guy leading their adventure, with a funny face. They end up ditching Tommy and Brownie for a bit. Big mistake, because Brownie easily succumbed to Tommy’s request to climb a tree.

Turns out it’s really fucking hard. Brownie laughed at him- so of course Tommy threw his shoe at him, pausing when the slightly-damp dirt of the path touches his sock.

He rips his other shoe off immediately, and only briefly hesitates before taking off his socks too. It feels so new. He laughs harder than he’s ever laughed when he runs into a patch of grass that tickles his toes in the best way possible. He’s never been allowed outside without his shoes on. It feels like a dream come true.

Pinky and blondy get back eventually to find Tommy covered in dirt, grass in his hair, barefoot, and once again attempting to climb the tree- only this time Brownie is helping.

Tommy’s only a little disappointed when the ropes are put back on. He’s going to cherish this memory forever. Blondy looks constipated, glancing at Tommy every few seconds while he scolds “Wilbur.”

He also quickly learns that pinky is Technoblade, and blondy is Phil.

Technoblade brings out a weird kit, and a lock that isn’t attached to any door. Turns out during long trips on the road, he likes to practice his lockpicking. Tommy immediately demands they teach him that instant. He then goes on to say they aren’t allowed to hit him because they don’t have a degree in teaching. Technoblades face pinches at that.

Tommy discovers that lockpicking is super simple, but really hard to do unless you’ve done it for a while because of the intricate movements needed for all the little pins inside.

They leave Tommy’s hands untied so he can keep practicing on the road, even after Technoblade finished showing him the ropes. He doesn’t say it, but he’s grateful.

When they come upon a town Wilbur sends him into the brush to change his formal clothing. Tommy would never admit to being excited about clothing that doesn’t require 3 people in order to put it on- but from Wilbur’s look, he doubts he’s fooling anyone.

Tommy sees the people in town and drinks in the energy. Its wild, chaotic, yet somehow both fluid and natural. It feels like freedom. Tommy also takes a few minutes to examine the general posture of ongoers. His gaze narrows down to a group of boys his age, and he tries to pick apart their habits and appearance, applying it to his own. Gradually he transforms from holding himself with a straight back and level eyes, to slouching slightly and letting his eyes flick between things fluidly, attention wild and sporadic. He brings a bounce into his step and swings his arms slightly.

As they walk, he feels the changes become natural. Comfortable, even. He finds himself grinning constantly, unable to hold it back. It’s not like there are guards to watch him.

They reach an inn, and the crowded, homely environment brings out something new in Tommy. Oh, Wilbur, as it turns out- the volunteer to watch Tommy as Technoblade and Phil leave to do something- is an extremely chatty guy. He brings Tommy around the inn, talking and joking and boasting about skills they don’t have. Tommy tried to claim he knew how to play the lute. Wilbur claimed to have eaten 3 pounds of sand. Tommy barely even knows what sand is.

A group of women approach them and start to gush about how cute Tommy was, and he’s about to speak up and boast about his manliness when Wilbur laughs, interlaces their fingers, and pretends to gush with them.

When the women move on Wilbur doesn’t let go of his hand, and Tommy’s brain slowly fries. He keeps up the laughter and jokes easily- he’s been trained to hide things his entire life- but it doesn’t stop his brain from slowly melting inside his skull.

Speaking of things melting his brain.

The food.

It’s all so bright- it’s colorful, it’s messy, it’s creative- it tastes like Prime has personally blessed every piece of food this town makes. Tommy loves it. Even with his extensive lessons on never showing appreciation for anything, the cook smiles at him with mirth from his reaction and Wilbur laughs, the movement traveling down to their intertwined fingers, reminding Tommy of its presence.

When Phil comes by and claps Wilbur on the back, and their hands drop away from each other, Tommy smiles. He’s happy he got to hold his hand for so long.

Phil makes the mistake of asking Tommy how he’s finding the town, and is forced to listen to him rant and talk all the way to their room, Tommy’s face red with laughter and happiness. Phil looks at him with the same smile the cook showed him. Tommy wishes he could paint it and hang it up on his wall. It’d make sleeping with all the sets of eyes on him a lot easier.

Phil leads them to their room and Tommy beelines to Technoblade, who’s idly picking a lock on the bed. Except it’s a different lock. He spends the rest of the day learning how to pick different types of locks, struggling to not challenge himself to unlock them all. This- everything, is probably not going to last much longer anyway.

Tommy hopes it isn’t long. (It’s going to make leaving it behind so much harder)

He hopes he can stay for a bit more. (He wants to be happy for just a little while longer)

The night falls and Tommy can hear the guards marching out on the street. With how aggressive they sound, it might have something to do with Tommy’s disappearance.

He should go to them. Stop the hassle of searching for him.

…

He tucks the blanket under his chin firmly.

Like hell he’s gonna make it easy for them.

#tommyinnit centric #sbi fic idea #sleepy boys inc #sleepy bois inc #Royal au #royalty au

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fict1onallyobsessed · 3 years ago

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Now we live

Taskmaster x Reader /or/ Antonia Dreykov x Reader

Summary - Sometimes even the strongest deserve a happy ending

Not my GIF!!!

I need you to upload these files into Antonia," Dreykov walked into the room, throwing you a memory stick. You caught it with ease, nodding shortly before walking towards the Taskmasters training room, but also her living space.

You and Dreykov were the only people who knew who Antonia was. He had the nerves in your brain completely re-ordered and re-attached just so he could have full control of you. He thought that he had to have at least one permanently loyal widow he could order on missions just as he pleased. You were at his full disposal.

He trusted you. And only you. Which made you powerful. More powerful than him, even. So, when finally, finally, your nerves started going back into their original position, you couldn't let him know. You wouldn't let him know that you were conscious, thinking. Alive.

"Yes, sir." Your feet carried you through the room after pressing in the code on the door. One thing your severed nerves gave you was incredible memory, at least that didn't fade as Dreykov's control slowly did. You waved off the other guards, knowing they'd been informed to listen to you.

She immediately stopped training, standing up from her sitting position and walking over to her chair closer to the desk with the computer in. It broke your heart knowing Dreykov was using his own daughter for his power. His rules had become so strict with Antonia that she'd immediately walk to her chair when anyone would walk in, scared of a punishment.

"It's just me," You started, walking closer to her and seeing how her shoulder relaxed when she heard your voice. You crouched down in front of her, placing your arms on her thighs and your chin on your forearm to show you weren't under his control again.

"You can take it off," She hesitated at first, but eventually pressed some buttons to release the tight helmet off her face. To say that she trusted you was an understatement. You had given her the red serum days ago, hoping that in time, you'd manage to escape with her. She reached up, taking the helmet off and fiddling with it in her lap.

It was hard on her, the whole pretending to be under his control thing. But in order for you to make a plan for you to escape, both of you had to keep it together. That didn't mean that you'd stop being there for her, quite the opposite. The scar on her face was almost healed, yet some bumps and imperfections still remained, but it only made her more perfect for you.

You had gotten a hold of a drug that had helped her injured eye, making it look almost normal. Of course nobody was aware of it because no-one ever take off her mask apart from you and her. It was mostly for her, to make her feel better about herself whenever she saw her reflection.

You reached up, cupping her face and smiling gently, rubbing the skin on her jaw.

"Not long, I promise."

She sniffled, inhaling harshly to stop herself from crying. Her gaze connected to yours, but she soon looked away towards the ceiling, blinking rapidly.

"I don't know how long I can do this for," She whispered, trying to avoid eye contact. You didn't know what to respond with. You had apologised countless times for revealing her to the serum before you had a plan, but she assured you it wasn't your fault and that she was glad you did it so early. It was the training, and constant fear of someone finding out you weren't under control. The fear, once you escaped, of being found.

You could say, the only place you could be yourself is with each other. And you'd make sure that you'd escape with her.

"Did he send you in here? Why?" She asked, changing the subject while looking down at you with a frown. You only gave her a sympathetic smile before pulling out the memory stick, undoubtedly stored up with more training techniques.

She huffed, gripping her helmet tighter and lifting it to put over her head. Before she could though, you stopped her, taking the helmet and placing it beside the computer. Standing from your crouched position, you pulled her up, enveloping her shoulders in a tight embrace. It didn't take long

before she wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you closer. You already had to stand on your toes to reach up to her, now with her arms around you, she was almost lifting you up.

Gently, she leaned down enough for your feet to be reaching the ground and hugged you tighter, placing her nose into the crook of her neck. You wished you could stay like this forever, in a embrace, in a safety you lacked in your life.

"Promise me something," She pulled away, wiping the tears that had cascaded down your cheeks gently.

You nodded. "Anything,"

"If you have to choose between you and me...you'll choose yourself." You weren't expecting that, and you didn't know what she was talking about. You shook your head, brows furrowed in confusion.

"What? No- Anything but that- I- No."

She smiled, cupping your face delicately in her hands.

"Promise me. Whatever happens, you'll choose your life over mine." No. But you couldn't tell her that, because if you did she'd try and persuade you otherwise

"Okay,"

Of course that was a lie. You'd never do such a thing. She was so important to you. And maybe a part of you knew she could see through your lie, but the same part was hoping otherwise. You wanted her to be safe, that was all it was about from the beginning. Setting her free, like she deserved to be.

She nodded, turning to grab her helmet so you could put the memory stick into her head to install more fighting techniques. Dreykov would know if you didn't do it, so you had no choice.

He walked into the room. He'd usually say something, usually greeted you sarcastically, knowing you couldn't respond. Today, he walked in, staring deep into your soul with arms crossed. You felt your heartbeat quicken but your face remained emotionless. There was no way he would of known, right? Unless Antonia showed him and told him everything, there was no way he could know.

"My daughter..." He started, still staring at you. "Did you know half her face had healed?"

You didn't move, knowing you weren't allowed to respond.

"And her chemical subjugation had worn off." He walked closer, so much so that you could feel his breath on your neck.

"Have any information about that?" He gripped the back of your neck and you almost yelped with how hard he pulled you out the door with him. He was leading you towards Antonia's training room where loud yelps could already be heard.

You could two things. Continue pretending and wish for the best, or expose yourself now and try to kill him. You went with option one until you saw what was happening; Antonia sat on the floor, hands tied behind her back while a guard was kicking her stomach. She had her suit on, but it provided barely any protection.

She was hunched over in pain, grunting each time the guard connected his leg to her stomach.

"NO!" You jumped forward, out of Dreykov's grip in attempt to attack the guard but he was too quick, pinning you tot he ground as you tried to wriggle out of his grip.

"Leave her alone, take me!" Antonia groaned in protest, shaking her head as she tried to get up. The guard lifted you up, but in a moment of weakness, you kicked his feet from under him which made him effectively drop you and himself onto the ground. You punched his face, hitting him unconscious. You swiftly stood up, taking out your knife and cutting the ropes on Tonia's hands. She rubbed her wrists, both of you turning to Dreykov.

For once in your life you saw him second guess himself. He took a step back, holding firmly onto the edge of the desk where the computer was. He was quick to regain his composure, standing straight as if he remembered something he wasn't willing to share yet.

"You know as soon as you touch me, the alarm sounds and the widows will come after you, right?"

You scoffed, twirling the knife in your hand before starting to run at him. Tonia did the same thing, gripping her own weapon in her gloved hands. You ran until you reached him, the sudden adrenaline making you grip the knife that much tighter before it impaled his chest. But he stood there, as smug as

ever. It confused you. He was about to die, why was he happy? You got your answers a few moments later, when the knife got stuck in the air a few inches away from his body. Your brows furrowed, and you felt some type of force holding you back. Antonia felt it too, because something stopped her as well.

"What-"

"You see, smelling my pheromones prevents you from committing violence against me."

You grunted trying again but to no avail. His hand reached up and his finger touched your forehead, slowly moving downwards across your nose before he let his hand fall down back onto his side.

"Tell me, widow. How'd you get free?"

"Like I'd tell you shit,"

He let out a humorous laugh, walking around the desk to the other side. You followed, standing directly in front of him, the only thing between you and him was the desk. Antonia joined your side.

"Ah, my Antonia." He smiled at her. "I was so proud of you up until now-" Both her hands slammed on the desk; "Quit the bullshit,"

"I'm your father-"

"You'll never be my father..." She continued but you trailed off. It was so fucking obvious now. Your nerves. It wasn't the chemical subjugation that made it impossible for you to hurt him. It was the nerve in your nose. "...and if you think I'd ever consider you a father after this, you're so wrong-"

You didn't think twice. You placed both hands on the desk and smashed your nose into the wood. The horrid noise of bones cracking echoed through the room, both Tonia and Dreykov staring at you. You couldn't see her face since she was standing beside you but the look on Dreykov's made up for it. His eyes widened, the white in his eyes now very clear.

You inhaled through your broken nose, blood racing down your lips. It wasn't his cologne or his pheromones that you smelt. It was his fear. The dread he was feeling was almost satisfying, but the only thing that could give you the most content, would be punching it off his face.

"What did you do?" He asked, backing away from you.

"I severed the nerve." You jumped over the desk, landing a punch right in his jaw. The alarms sounded immediately, red flooding your vision but you didn't care. Just as his body fell, you fell with it, but just so your could hit him more. Your fists burnt from the impact, but it only seemed to want you to punch more.

"(Y/N), we have to go. The rest will be here soon," Your head snapped towards her voice. She was anxiously looking over to the door where dozens of widows would appear within the next minute. You looked back down at his body. He wasn't dead yet, but you wanted him to be. So, you stood, smiling down at his bloody face before kicking his jaw with your heel, effectively making him fall unconscious.

You and Tonia ran through what seemed like hundreds of red-lit corridors before you saw a door which lead outside. Problem was, you were thousands of feet into the air. You couldn't jump, but there was no other way.

"D'you trust me?"

You nodded, letting her grab your waist before opening the door and jumping out. Everything happened so fast; the wind hit your face and she cradled your head under her chin with her hand, the other hand secure on her waist.

It wasn't long before you reached ground. Tonia used the parachute that was hidden in her suit to land you to safety, which just turned out to be a massive field with no end.

"What now?" She asked, looking up at the almost invisible infrastructure hidden in the clouds.

"Now we live."

THE END

Taglist: @emily0013 \\ @xxromanoffxx \\ @emilyprentisslittlewhore \\ @d14n4ol \\ @marvel2024

#taskmaster #taskmaster fanart #taskmaster x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow movie #taskmaster x you #taskmaster imagine #task master x y/n #mcu fanfiction #marvel headcanons #marvel #antonia dreykov #antonia x reader #natasha x reader #natasha imagine

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cinnamonest · 4 years ago

Note

I’ve read most everything on your yandere Genshin chars but just got to Kaeya n the punishments and was pleasantly surprised by the back-door entry punishment and feel now safe to ask...

Are there other chars that would resort to this or maybe even be inclined towards anal? XD weirdly one of my biggest interests tbh besides breeding I don’t knooow whyy.

Oh same anon. It’s up there in my top kinks and I don’t talk bout anal enough it’s such a good kink, so I’m about to change that and give it appreciation, obvious tw for anal here

It's obviously a big thing for sadists of any kind. So basically, aside from Kaeya, Childe and Scara are both likely to get into it to some extent. Childe slightly less so than Kaeya, but both of them will use it as a form of punishment -- Childe is just slightly more prone to spanking than anal because it ignites our boy's weird fetish for violence a bit better. Whereas Kaeya's more of a horny bastard so punishments that have his dick in you in some way or another are the best.

Notably, Childe's more into actually warning you and making you squirm, listening to you beg and whimper and see you all scared, so he draws out the process before actually shoving his dick in. He's just mean about it, but he's big on verbal mockery to begin with -- tells you things like "don't worry, it only hurts a lot :)" or "it's ok, feel free to cry :)". Bastard. Also likes to hold you in positions so you can try to pull yourself off, that way he can just grab you and pull you back on.

Kaeya's more into it in a surprise sort of way, will just kinda get lube or cum all over your holes so you don't specifically know and kinda shove it in to your surprise. It's cute, your eyes go wide open and you squeal and scream and kick your feet and try to pull yourself off. He kinda forces you into positions where you can't move though, you have no choice but to just take it -- mating press, flat on your stomach, bent over and pressed against something so you can't move forward. He doesn’t mock you beforehand since he likes to catch you off guard, but laughs at your initial squealing and struggling and mocks you throughout, as well as after, thinks it’s cute how you can’t stand and how you hiss and whimper every time you sit down or move around.

Scara's similar but unfortunately for darling he'll also just fuck your poor ass at random too just because he feels like it because he likes watching you cry, or maybe is just mad and needs something to take it out on, which almost always ends up being you. He's definitely the roughest and the most likely candidate to pull the "yeah spit is perfectly acceptable lube" bullshit so it hurts the most. Also degrading about it.

Other notable candidates to actually do anal or get into it in some way, perhaps some surprisingly, would be Chongyun, Xiao, Razor, and Zhongli. The first three have a commonality where it's most likely an accident at first, fucking you too hard and accidentally slip out, try to shove their dick back in, and end up watching you squeal and pull back when their cock slips into the wrong hole.

Chongyun's is most likely during a manic episode, and only occurs during those episodes -- he's just fucking so hard and fast it ends up happening more than once. He apologizes afterwards, feels bad about it, but it keeps happening. Honestly it's something he genuinely likes, but his normal self doesn't want to hurt you, but the manic self is basically his "true" self without any inhibitions, so he doesn't hold back. He couldn’t really tell you why he likes it, it’s just hot.

Razor and Xiao are similar, it just is so so so tight and feels so good on their dick and once they've accidentally discovered it you'll wish they hadn't. Razor doesn't get the difference, will just kinda be like "oh, sorry" but keep fucking you. He just knows that it feels nice, but doesn't really have a preference, boy just needs his dick in a tight wet warm hole, and if it's in one or the other he's not gonna bother to take it out, just keeps fucking you. You’ll get used to it. Probably.

Xiao might do it intentionally, it just feels so nice you know? It wouldn't click in his mind at first to use it for punishment purposes, but eventually seeing you squirm and cry he puts two and two together and it clicks and he realizes it's a good way to punish. But he doesn't draw it out or threaten you, just kinda shoves it in if he's mad.

The most unfortunate part to both these boys is they don't get the difference so they fuck just as hard and fast and don't quite understand the concept of preparation and lube. They'll find some form of lube because they don't want to tear you (because then they couldn't keep fucking you you know?), but see no need to stretch you out beforehand.

And Zhongli might come as a bit of a surprise, but it's entirely punishment based and he's slower and gentle about it, but I mean, his dick is huge so no matter how prepared you are it's still gonna hurt like a bitch and be a very effective form of punishment. He has a unique form of how to handle offenses -- most come up with whatever they feel like on the spot, but he lays out early on a system of sorts, a mental chart of how different offenses are punished, scales of severity, basically "this offense is punished this way each time", very specific, right down to the number of spanks and the like. So you can't get out of it, because, well, you knew exactly what would happen, but you chose to do what you did anyway, so you should have been prepared for the consequences. Also, he gets really into plugs, especially ones with tails attached, probably has you wear one most of the time.

And finally Albedo gets super into it tbh and is the most likely candidate for lots of things. He's our gross boi. He's quiet about it, like the majority of his gross and sadistic tendencies, and this often, similar to Kaeya, results in you being very caught off guard and by surprise. Will literally just switch holes mid-fucking. If he *does* warn you, he's big fan of making you suck his dick and fingers to use it as lube beforehand. He does, thankfully, get a lot of it though, spits on your hole, likely uses actual lube a lot of the time, he likes the squelching and fluids. On the downside, since he's into all things gross or weird or less common, he gets into testing your poor ass's limits, seeing what the biggest size plug you can handle is, stretching you out, see how long you can hold things in. Also most likely candidate to get into weird things and shoving various objects in you - slimes, toys, inanimate objects etc. Also most likely candidate for painful things like figging or finding a way to make lube super cold, hot, tingly etc. And, finally, most likely candidate to completely cut you off from PIV for an extended period of time - instead of a one-time punishment, darling is looking at several days, even weeks of only anal. It's cute how you try to run away and all. And will definitely try to figure out a way to make you cum from it, too.

#lena's asks

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hwazzone · 3 years ago

Text

practise room

gen: smut

warnings: mirror sex, degradation, fingering, semi-public sex, !dom jacob! !sub reader!,

words count: 1367 words

back story: your boyfriend jacob is during practising for upcoming cb. cause of that he’s rarely at home. when he’s coming back, he’s exhausted and only thing he want is just sleep. you’re guys not even talk lately. you miss him so much..

it’s friday night. your boyfriend is still in practice. it’s the third day in a row when he’s staying these late on practicing. a small idea came to your mind about go to his company and eat something together. that’ll be a great occasion to finally spend some time with him. you start to search for remote control and turn off the tv. then you come to the bedroom to change your outfit to something that you can go outside and you left your house. when you’re on the way you came to a small restaurant that you and jacob eat very often and take his favorite food. thank god that you have his company near. you write a code that jacob gave you when you want to visit him in company. you go through the glass door and went straight to the elevator. you choose the right number and the door has closed. before you came to the elevator you had seen that nobody was there. even staff. it was 2AM but that was strange. when you arrived on your floor you could see the familiar arrangement of rooms and really big windows in offices. you go straight to the white door in front of you. you didn’t hear any voices or music. maybe he’s just finished, you thought. you take a deep breath and push the handle. The first thing you saw was a huge number of mirrors that always turns you on. you always want to try mirror sex with your boyfriend, but was scared what jacob will say. despite that you imagine yourself around jacob’s hands. his touch… you forgot how it feels like he’s touching you, like his lips are around your neck to mark. you forgot how he can perfectly fuck you and call you his little slut. you get wet just thinking of these things. you start to search for your boyfriend. he was sleeping on a big black sofa next to the laptop from where he probably was playing music. you walk through the laptop and closed him. then you moved to your boyfriend. you always loved watching when he was asleep. he's so perfect with his eyes closed. his jawline looks stunning in this light. the only one thing you have in your mind is just kissing his neck like there’s no tomorrow. you spot that jacob’s started to wake up so you move to food which you put next to the door.

‘oh, hi’ he said with his raspy sleepy voice. you love his deep voice.

‘hi, i’m sorry i didn’t mean to wake you up, but i was wondering if you like to eat together

‘oh, yeah. i’d love to eat with you’

you start to put boxes on a table next to the laptop. jacob come to help you.when you finally eat you put your head on jacobs shoulder to pay his attention. he didn’t look at you, he just took his phone and started to doing something. you feel pissed. you buy him food and he didn’t even respond to your action. you decided that you can’t wait longer so you push him against sofa and sit on his lap.

‘why are you like that?’

‘like what?’

‘during few last weeks, you acting like i do not exist. you don’t talk to me, you coming home very late. i feel alone.’

he looks at you with his caring eyes. he put his hands on your waist

‘oh sweetheart. i’m so sorry. i have a lot of work to do because of our comeback that i didn’t even notice my little girl needs attention. maybe you want to make up it?’

you don’t have much time to answer because you already felt jacob’s lips attached to yours. the kiss was passionate but also deep. you once again felt how much you missed him. he started to move to your jaw and neck. he tried to not missed the second inch of the neck area. you've felt he's marking you. mark, after mark. he took your shirt off and move to your chest. a small grown escape from your mouth. you put your head back because of the pleasure he gives you. he stops on your boobs. jacob decided to use one of his hands to play with your breast now. he started to squeeze them and lick your nipples.you started to grind on him. you began to bounce and grind on his lap. now the only thing you want, to him inside you. then you heard a deep growl escaped from his lips. you started to clenched around his voice.

‘jacob..’ you moan.

‘what baby?’

‘i want you’ you whispered.

he went back to your lips and this time he was kissing you hungrily. you could feel his growing bulge so you didn’t stop grinding on him. another moan escaped.‘princess, don’t tease'he started to unbutton your jeans. and now only clothes you have on yourself were just red thongs that you wear for him.

‘really? you’re that much needy slut to put my favorite underwear?’

he hit your thigh. now you could clearly see red mark of his hand. you gasp a little but you like it. his hand started to trail to your panties. jacob brings two fingers over your folds, letting them dig your underwear against your skin. his fingers slip past your underwear. he leaves a dragging touch on your wet folds and wastes no time in pushing his index finger into your tight hole. you moan his name.

‘fuck, you look so hot like that.’

then he returns to your hole and put two fingers deep inside you. you’re moaning for more, but jacob is to focused on your clit. you started to grind your hips over his fingers. it made your eyes roll back with each move. ‘you like that, don’t you?’ his thrust started to getting faster and faster.you scream, cause of your coming orgasm.

‘jacob, i’m gonna...’

‘cum for me, princess’

your walls clench hard around his fingers and you came. he removed his fingers and he lifts you up. he places you on the floor just next to the mirrors. ‘i want you to look how good i’ll fuck you.’ you didn’t even recover from your last orgasm, but you still want more. he started to take off his clothes and finally your panties laid on the floor. he position you just like you could watch him fucking you. he keeps his eyes on the mirror, watching your expression with each touch he delivers. ‘please fuck me already’ you beg.he trails you that you were behind him, but you could see him in the mirror. now you were in reverse cow girl. he guides his cock to your entrance. he slowly pushes into you, dragging the process out as much as he can just to see you squirm. and you do squirm. from the angle you’re at, you can clearly see his cock slipping past your folds and disappearing inside you. now, you could cum just from watching jacob’s expression contort with pleasure as he bottoms out in you. ‘shit, you’re so tight.’ he pulls out about halfway only to thrust back into you with greater speed and force than before. it has you crying out, eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure overwhelms you, and jacob moans so loud that the sound echoes through the room. ‘you look so good taking my cock like that’ he continuous pressure on your sweet spot brings you closer to the edge rather quickly. jacob offers a teasing bite to your neck and then started to mark you. the shockwaves of pleasure that follow cause you to curl your body and your orgasm hits then with his cock deep inside you. your walls clench hard around him as your lips part in a silent scream. it spurs him to reach his own orgasm. His hips halt against yours, and you faintly feel his cock twitching inside you a few times as you’re still rolling through the waves of your own orgasm.

‘i hope now you are satisfied with spending this time with me’ he smirked.

#the boyz #tbz #the boyz reactions #the boyz imagines #the boyz smut #tbz reactions #tbz imagines #tbz smut #jacob bae #jacob the boyz #jacob tbz #jacob imagines #jacob reactions #jacob smut #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #kpop smut

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illumilu · 4 years ago

Text

there’s only one bed” - illumi zoldyck x reader

a/n: a very stereotypical cliche for fanfics, but, yk what? cringe makes the world go round. so here, have my drabbling of what would happen if you were to spend an unwanted night in the same hotel bed as the adultrio. i feel like i may have made this way too long again, but who cares?? this time it’s with illumi! aka loml ...

summary: after a lengthy car trip, you arrive at the hotel with illumi, but to your horror (wink wink), there’s only one bed. including: you dreaming abt him when he’s literally right in front of you (embarrassing). this is part two of a three-part series, with the adultrio. hisoka is already written and chrollo will be coming soon!

warnings: no particular trigger warnings, lowercase intended, a lot of fluff! and cuddling! only on your part though, since illumi is basically awkwardness personified... no nsfw <3

illumi zoldyck:

- the trip to the hotel had taken 6 hours. 6 hours in which you had fallen asleep multiple times, cramped your legs, somehow made every sleeping position dangerously uncomfortable, cracked your neck and twisted your back, possibly to the point of no return.

- for mr zoldyck, or rather, “illumi”, as he had instructed you to call him, the trip was no problem. his upbringing, which consisted of mainly torture, included staying awake for as long as a fortnight at a time. 6 hours may as well have been a few minutes.

- “the silent son of the zoldycks” was his reputational nickname, or, rather, “lifeless koi fish”, as your friend, hisoka, enjoyed calling him. either way, illumi was not going to let a car ride tire him.

- when you had first met him, he had scared you. a lot. the entire “trained dangerous traumatised assassin” storyline was one that felt like a threat. you were undoubtedly taking a risk by working with him, but it was one you were willing to; it may have been twisted, but murder was your forte, and you were searching for a partner.

- over time, you had grown to be less intimidated by him.

- you were now colleagues with him, working on a new assassination.

- shockingly, planning murder took time, and who better to plan it with than the assassin himself? you had spent the past day on a “business trip”, paid for by illumi’s grandfather, where you sized up the area and familiarised yourself with yorknew.

- all for the big night.

- tonight was the day before the murder of the ten dons.

- illumi and kalluto would carry out the murder, while you made sure everything went smoothly, via a small mic attached to his clothes. the entire operation was based on trust, and would therefore be executed like clockwork.

- you had taken the necessary mental images and kept the targets in mind; all that was left was a night at a pre-booked hotel and then it would be go-time.

- you had assumed that the hotel would be high-class, with doormen, perhaps some marble flooring and pillars - it was the zoldycks who were paying, after all, and you knew they had money to spare.

- “we’re here.” illumi stated blankly, face reflecting in the window. admittedly, he did look a little bit like a koi fish.

- you nudged past him to look out of the window, leaning over to get a good view.

- oh.

- it seemed you had made quite the overestimation. it was a simple, plain building with a few stories. no doormen or extravagance could be sighted.

- you supposed keeping a low profile was important, but the depressing accommodation was somehow making you wearier.

- the two of you didn’t exchange any conversation on the way up to your room, but you were used to that.

- you and illumi had met around 5 months ago, and most of it had been comfortable silence. you hadn’t expected it to be like that - in all honesty, you had expected him to kill you - but illumi seemed... calm around you.

- it was probably because you shared such an odd passion with him; the logistics of murder. you assumed it gave him a chance to loosen his harsh demeanour and enjoy himself. the both of you had worked on multiple murders together, focusing on theory and planning, but this was a huge assassination. nevertheless, you knew he could pull it off; illumi was smart, you had to give him that.

- finally, you arrived at your hotel room, sighing from the lengthy stairway winding up to your unnecessarily high room. you assumed it was for safety purposes, but for god’s sake; why did safety have to be so enervating?

- illumi pushed the door open, and you walked in with him. finally, you could catch some rest.

- except, you couldn’t.

- a singular bed placed in the middle of the room.

- “why.”��you thought to yourself tiredly.

- you stood there silently, waiting for him to say something.

- then, you remembered that he was illumi. he obviously wouldn’t see anything wrong with the situation.

- the bastard.

- it didn’t help that he gave you no visible reaction when you stared at him with your face scrunched up expectantly, as if to ask what his plan was.

- “is there a problem, y/n?” illumi asked, his tone flat as usual.

- you took a deep, worn out breath, clearing your throat.

- after a bit, you shook your head. this was strictly professional. illumi wouldn’t do anything, because he was illumi. nothing would happen.this was an important night, where rest and a clear mind were essential. blame it on the fatigue, and nothing else. you were just exhausted. there was nothing else to it. nothing.

- “no. i’m just a little tired.” you dismissed.

- a silence skimmed past.

- “my grandfather... he often tends to be absentminded. occasionally, he forgets to do certain things, or plan them correctly, i suppose. you could say this is a prime example of such.”

- “zeno forgot another goddamn bed, hm?” you laughed nervously.

- illumi stared at you once again, blinking a few times, in a methodical manner, face neutral and robotic. you smiled awkwardly and remembered that he was not one to laugh at jokes. or anything, for that matter.

- you wondered if he laughed at bloodshed. or maybe hisoka.

- “i’m going to... go to set up my stuff now.”

- turning your back to illumi, you winced at the uncomfortable air. even after all your time with him, you never learnt to stop trying to lighten the mood. the mood was literally just always unnatural, in some way. that was another one of illumi’s specialties.

- after some time, in which you had finalized tomorrow's plan and each changed into comfortable clothes, you watched illumi tie his hair up from across the room.

- his hair had always fascinated you.

- you had always wanted to touch it. honestly, even when you had first met him, apart from his magnetic eyes, you had been drawn to his hair. you imagined it felt like silk sheets, caressing over one’s hands as smoothly as honey. you were glad he grew it out; in fact, upon seeing his teenage photos, you had laughed so hard you ended up getting a nosebleed from hitting your face. illumi had been left in confusion for a while.

- you realized how random you sounded. why were you reminiscing so much?

- shaking yourself back to your senses, you admired as he artfully twisted his hair into a loose bun, strands of hair cupping his elegant, pale face.

- what a beautiful koi fish.

- most people couldn’t compute that illumi had true, human feelings. after all, it would be hard to believe a man like him felt anything. but, of course, he did, unhealthily so. he channeled all his trauma and hurt into his villainy, and received happiness from his villainy, anger from his villainy and occasionally fear from his villainy. however, there was one emotion he could never grasp. he hated himself for it, but soon realised he could manipulate his hatred into villainy, too.

- illumi was a man who could manipulate anyone or anything he wished.

- except himself.

- internally, he had always felt at a loss whenever he confronted his emotions. but, after he had met you, something had changed. as he caught you staring at his hair through the hotel mirror, he couldn’t help but feel something small stir inside of his stomach. not evil, not happiness, not hatred, not anger. perhaps, friendship?

- this tinge of new emotion inside of him initially made him feel uneasy, but that worry morphed into giddiness, a childish high buzzing somewhere in his core.

- eventually, he stood up to face you and suggested going to sleep. you checked the time on the wall clock. 8 in the evening. well, illumi had always been particular. you agreed that rest was essential for tomorrow.

- you hesitantly took the left side, and, upon seeing your choice, illumi followed to lie on the right.

- after a few minutes, you looked back at him, noticing illumi fell asleep abnormally quickly. you furrowed your brow quizzically at the rock-like manner he was in. frankly, he looked like a plank when he slept. you almost laughed, but held it in for his sake.

- he had a very specific sleep schedule, as did the other zoldycks. he could go to sleep immediately at his own command, and stayed perfectly still as he did so. he woke up at 5 in the morning every single day, without fail, almost like he had some sort of alarm clock planted in his body.

- looking at him lying there like a block, you smiled softly. illumi was quite the conundrum to you. you often speculated whether he ever got what he deserved; love, affection, anything really. you knew about his past from when he had told you nonchalantly, within a few weeks of your acquaintance. you always hoped he’d find someone to love him, but doubted whether people would bother looking beyond his bleak surface, and into his excellent mind. lost in thought, you found yourself getting drowsier. you also fell asleep generally quickly, limbs aching from the stupid car ride.

- the night passed.

- illumi was the first to wake up at 5am, stoic and in the same place he had fallen asleep in. no surprise there.

- but you.

- that was the first thing he saw when his eyes opened.

- he did not expect you to be lying on him lazily, snuggling into his body, arm and leg comfortably wrapped around his side. you were breathing lightly, face burrowing onto the ridge of his chest.

- i suppose you didn’t expect to be there either, which he realized, but the point still remained.

- why were on you his chest.

- “y/n.”

- no answer.

- illumi could have pushed you away; in fact, he could have blown you 983 metres away (his personal record).

- but he didn’t.

- it wasn’t the thought of disturbing your comfort that stopped illumi from hurling you into oblivion. it wasn’t the fact that he explicitly enjoyed it, either. he remembered that the mission was today; if he were to wake you, and you hadn’t slept enough, you wouldn’t be at your upmost performance.

- the murder of the ten dons was his priority, right? yes. it was. there was no doubt about it. that was the only and final reason he wouldn’t wake you. end of discussion.

- so, illumi stayed there, waiting for you to wake up and get off of him. 30 minutes passed, and he watched you for every single one.

- hard as it was to admit, watching you rise and fall in sync with his chest made the spark of emotion in his core grow fervently. what had that foreign feeling been? yesterday, he had settled at friendship, but now he wasn’t so sure.

- you looked so peaceful while you slept. less confusing. he remembered the time you had accidentally complimented his hair when the two of you had first met. he had found that amusing. he remembered the time you got a nosebleed from hitting your face too hard - it was after laughing at his teenage pictures, which perplexed him greatly. he remembered the times you two had sat together, working and theorizing on missions, accidentally meeting eyes or brushing hands. one time, you had dipped one of his pins in ink and scratched his name on some paper “for fun”. you had handed it to him and, for some unknown reason, the scrap was still tucked safely in his wallet. your unrivaled intelligence, your idiotic sense of humour, your smile, your lack of common sense, your twinkling eyes that so ironically contrasted his, everything. everything crossed his mind while he lay there.

- illumi found it strange how people remembered the oddest things at the oddest times.

- why did he think of that now, as you were sleeping? even worse, on the day of a meticulously planned assassination. why couldn’t he manipulate his emotions to stop fluctuating around you so much?

- it all frustrated him.

- why had he let you call him by “illumi” so quickly? mr zoldyck would have been fine. and why had he been so lenient with your antics? no one else got to touch his pins. why did he feel like keeping you on his chest forever, and keeping you safe? most importantly, why was he thinking about you so much?

- his contemplation came to a halt when he heard you stir a little in your sleep.

- finally, you’d wake up and he could forget about this entire problem.

- he watched you, expecting you to get up soon.

- you began shuffling around, brushing against his chest, and soon your eyes fluttered open, hazy and glazed over. it almost seemed like you were still in a dream, in some sort of half-sleep.

- “huh?” you whispered quietly, still lying on illumi. you looked up lazily, meeting eyes with him.

- “oh... i get it...” you hummed quietly, falling back onto his chest.

- he furrowed his brows.

- “why are you here?” you hugged him from the side, softly laughing at your ridiculous dream. he tensed up at you embracing him, but soon relaxed after realizing what was going on.

- illumi looked at you, one eyebrow raised. did you... think you were dreaming?

- to be honest, he found it kind of entertaining, the way you were fawning over him. if he let you stay there, he could figure out a lot of things about his newly found emotion. it could be worth it. just not today.

- illumi came back to his senses fairly quickly; you were obviously awake now, so why couldn’t you get off of him already?

- “y/n.”

- “mmm? what? so serious all the damn timeee, illum-”

- “you aren’t dreaming. get off.”

- SHIT

- SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

- you jolted off him immediately, staring down at illumi zoldyck.

- the real illumi zoldyck.

- oh my god what. what. what. what.

- every nerve in your body began to panic, and, in the stress of trying to find the correct words to say, you just ended up making some sort of incomputable ��aaaahhh” noise and jumping off the bed.

- illumi had finally gotten up and was now staring concernedly at you.

- an awkward pause.

- “let me just start by saying i did not-”

- “y/n. we have more pressing priorities for today. i don’t care.”

- illumi zoldyck had lied. even to himself. he did care. and so what if he ignored it until it festered so intensely inside of him he couldn’t do anything but tell you? he cared about you. and he knew it.

- “ok. you’re right. you’re right! illumi. one question. was i like that the whole night?”

- “i don’t know. i woke up at 5 and you were there.”

- you looked at the clock. it was 6am? what had he been doing for an hour? you opened your mouth to ask but closed it soon after. you recalled your thoughts about illumi growing up void of affection, or love, or appreciation.

- some questions were best left unanswered.

- “how long was i... mumbling like that?”

- “a few minutes.”

- you gulped. there were a few things you had to come to terms with. shutting your eyes firmly, you apologised profusely, annoyed at yourself.

- “y/n. i don’t care.” he lied once again.

- “you’re right!” you rambled - “the ten dons are today! it doesn’t matter what i said... none of it matters, we can both just forget it!”

- you sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than anyone.

- “so all we need to do is go over the plan one last time, get kalluto, and then we’ll carry it out, and soon enou-”

- “stop it. you’re wasting time. just go and get ready.”

- you sighed and smiled weakly. on the inside, you were sure your soul had died a little.

- while you left to change, overcome by embarrassment, illumi lingered by the bed for a few seconds. he tried to push down whatever he was currently feeling, but it was no use. the feeling in his core had risen up to his throat, a burst of something waiting to leave his lips.

- for the first time in a while, illumi zoldyck smiled. not at murder, or at power, or fulfillment, or achievement, or even villainy.

- illumi zoldyck had smiled at the thought of you.

- let’s just say illumi had trouble focusing on his mission.

i am honestly so fucking sorry you had to read that whole thing. the way i am literally in love with illumi zoldyck and ended up writing 2857 words bye bye bye i’m so sorry!!! PLZ what?? anyways,, i feel like i heavily underwrote hisoka now, since i did such a prologue thing for this! honestly i feel like this one came out a little boring, im sorry again AAAAA just agh; chrollo should b coming when i have time but i have exams rn so idkkkk hh

either way, likes or reblogs or whatever are super appreciated, but don’t feel forced to or anything! either way, i feel like no one’s gonna see this with my reach LMAOO but anyways thank you for reading, if you made it here! feedback and tips for writing on here are always helpful :)

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bestruction · 4 years ago

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Aot boys as a type of ex

Warning: Slightly NSFW on Eren’s part, angst (maybe? idk lol).

Characters: Eren, Levi, Armin, Jean and Reiner.

A/N: I was listening to Hurt so good by Astrid S and this popped in my head god knows why.

Summary: One person can assume many titles in the lives of others. So what title would your boyfriend take on when you two broke up?

Masterlist

Eren - The ex, but never the ex in fact.

Eren is an intense guy (as I said before). With him are no halves or pieces. He would want you completely because he would also give himself to you completely, which would end up being a double-edged sword. On the bright side: He is there. It's literally impossible for you to feel alone when he is around. He would always make you notice him, make you feel him in every part of your mind and body. If you needed him, he would be by your side in a heartbeat and ready to do anything to help. He always made you have sure that he loves you. On the bad side: This intensity would not disappear or diminish when you argue. Big and long arguments for a not-so-important reason or not important at all are common for you two. He is also impulsive. So you could expect to be hurt after that. All of these discussions would undermine your relationship. It got to the point where you felt like stepping on eggs next to him, waiting for the next tears.

Sometimes he would apologize when he realized he was wrong but when none of you changed your mind thanks to pride or anger, you would end up trapped in each other's arms in some random room of the house without clothes and sweaty. Too breathless to continue to exchange barbs. All frustration is discounted in your body's movements and his. That would become a cycle of discussions and make-up sex. You always push each other away and met again. The last time you said you never wanted to see Eren again, it would be just before the next time you were on his bed or he on yours. You knew it wasn't healthy for either of you, that you had to stop at some point, but how?

Levi - The ex who leaves you before the relationship ends.

Getting close to Levi would be a difficult task since the beginning of the relationship. Thanks to all the traumas that he suffered throughout his life. He lost his mother very early, did not have a healthy childhood, was abandoned by the person he believed to be his father, and lost countless friends. Because of so many losses since a young age, he unconsciously relates the pain of losing someone with the act of building bonds. He would be afraid to connect with others, including you. In fact, especially you. You who more than anyone accepts and try to understand the man behind all his strength. You who makes his heart speed just by smiling. You, that just the idea of losing scares him more than anything. So the more he gets attached to you, the more distant he will become. It's like a way of protecting himself. It would be easier for him to say that he loved you if he didn't love you so much.

It would start with something simple, like not having time to see you, which would be understandable in the beginning due to his position. But with time, you would notice that he would not insist on leaving the room or coming to you, and when he did come to you, it would be as if there was a great wall between the two of you. He would always be distant even when present. So you would end up wondering if he really felt the same. And overtime feeling lonely. When you broke up, he watched you turn away and tell himself that things would be better this way. You would find someone better, someone who would be able to answer your affection as you deserve, someone who really deserves you ... But why couldn't that someone be him?

Armin - The ex who remains your friend.

Armin has always been a sweet boy. He always respected your limits, and before being your boyfriend, he would also be your best friend. You would talk about everything. Dialogue would be one of the pillars of a relationship with him. He would make you feel safe, but no matter how many times you two talked, his insecurity would keep him from feeling the same way. He was always comparing himself to others, and as much as he tried not to project it on you, it would end up happening. He would end up trapped in a web of thoughts like: "If I were as agile as Jean, I could protect you better" "If I were brave like Eren, you would be more proud to be by my side".

As I said, you would be friends before lovers, and that's why you would talk about it and come to the conclusion that the best thing for both of you would be the break-up. Armin knew he needed to take care of his own insecurities first. Before trying to take care of a relationship. He didn't want to let these things interfere with the affection for each other. So it was a mutual decision. Even after that, you would still be close, helping each other to grow as a person until you two are ready to be together again.

Jean - The ex who doesn't understand why the break-up.

Jean would be a perfect boyfriend. He would treat you well, he would communicate when he doesn't like something, and he would always try to make some simple gesture for you. The problem is that: He would believe so faithfully in "I'm a good boyfriend" that when you complain about something, he disregards it. Do you want to talk about an unresolved argument between the two of you? No, thank you. In his mind, it would already be resolved. So why go back to the subject? Why are you being so dramatic? He's always so nice to you.

So when you announce the end, tired of being the least heard. He'll look at you and ask you why, but even after listening carefully to each of your words, he still wouldn't understand why you chose to end it all. If nothing he has done so far has been enough for you, what else would it be? What did you want from him?

Reiner - The ex you never forget.

After years of relationship with Reiner, you would have learned a lot about the man behind that strong image and him about who you were when no one was looking. Of course, you would have arguments and disagreements like every couple, but nothing too serious. Nothing that would make you not want to look at him afterward. When your relationship started to cool down, there would be no culprits. It would just be an unexplained eventuality. It would not be as if all the affection you had for each other disappeared overnight. In fact, such your affection did not disappear even if the love was no longer the same. You would wonder why and so would he, but as I said before: There would be no culprits. No cheating. No jealousy. No hurts to count. The time you spent together would have been good for both of you, and unfortunately, it was over.

You always remember him with a smile on your face, and it would take time to relate again. After all, he would have left a high standard to be reached.

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mycrofts-gunbrella · 4 years ago

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Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part 3 (Mycroft Holmes x Reader)

AN- Thank you for the patience for this one! My little boy has been unwell so it has taken a little longer than I had hoped but here is the third instalment! It’s a little shorter than the others but that’s because I wanted to contain the angsty part in one chapter, the next ones will hopefully be longer..

This one is a little more angsty, a lot more emotional, but I’m quite happy with the outcome and I hope you are too! As usual, please let me know any thoughts/feedback! And enjoy!

Word Count: 2510

"Is it just me that finds Stephen Fry a bit.. sexy?" You spoke, watching the television as Young Ones' Scumbag College competed on University Challenge. "I don't know what it is about him. He's just.. got such a lovely voice, and he's so sodding clever and his CLOTHES- got much better looking with age, mind." Mycroft only hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Hmm.. He's not really my type." You laughed and petted his head fondly.

"You don't have to be gay to find another man attractive Myc." You mused. "Me and Greg talk about it all the time, though he fancies Hugh Laurie more, especially in Blackadder." You laughed, thinking back on the memory of Greg's fondness of George in the Blackadder Goes Forth series.

"I'm aware that sexuality and attraction are not the same, Y/N. I am comfortable enough in my own heterosexuality to appreciate another man's features. In fact, I very much agree with Gregory's view on Mr Laurie. Stephen, however, is not my type. The few people that did speak to me in University used to tell me I reminded them of him in the way I behaved but, and I quote, 'without even a lick of his humour, you miserable bastard.' Thus, I cannot look at him in that way." He laughed a little and you cleared your throat.

"Oh.. uh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Not the humour part though, you're actually hilarious and they missed out big time." You tried to avoid the point where you'd deemed Stephen Fry sexy in every way he was similar to the man who was laying in your lap, and just hoped he wouldn't bring that up.

"He definitely got the looks side of things though, particularly as General Melchett in Goes Forth, though I am not particularly fond of the facial hair." He screwed up his nose in distaste, you fighting every ounce of your control to not say he looked a bit cute. "And certainly didn't have the waistline that 21 year old Mycroft had."

"Speaking in the third person now, are we? Well, Mycroft, Y/N is comfortable enough in her friendship that Y/N thinks Mycroft can be sexy in his own ways too." You teased, partly embarrassed, but equally just trying any way to improve the man's confidence, even by a little. Mycroft choked a little on his own saliva and had to sit up to regain his own breath. Too far? "Sorry." He shook his head 'no' but didn't speak. In his moments of regaining his composure, Mycroft watched you. Processed in his head what you had said- 'was it a joke?', he couldn't read anything on you that would suggest that, though his eyes were glassy from the choking- watched as you panicked, then subsiding the panic to concern as you made sure he was okay. All these things, he thought, he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and reached for the television remote, pausing the show and settling back on the other side of the sofa. It had to be done now. Done while his brain was allowing it, before he got attached... before he got attached even more. He couldn't keep pretending it was okay, keep accepting your compliments and your kindness, couldn't allow himself to go any further in his.. attraction?

It was always unspoken between the two of you- your not so subtle hints to Mycroft over the last few years hadn't got unnoticed, Mycroft would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he felt the same way, though this was perhaps the most open you had been; he would always put it off, try to think of reasons why you shouldn't be more than whatever you are now- most of the time it circles back to work, your busy schedule at the Yard and his unpredictable working hours mostly, saying to himself that it would simply be pointless, that you wouldn't see each other. But he knew that was a lie- you see him as often as you can, even if it's just for an hour on lunch, and everyone knows he would do his best to move empires to have you over for dinner had it been a while, quite literally actually.

Then there was age, you were in your mid-to-late twenties, he in his forties, though that argument also fell flat after you had mentioned your last long term relationship had been with a man your elder, amongst many of your interests in celebrity males that you had mentioned being closer to his age than yours- and, on his behalf, it was usual for a Politician to walk into formal dinners with a younger woman on arm. In the end, it all went back to the real reason Mycroft put everything off, a reason he hated admitting to even himself. Mycroft was scared.

Having been the age he is with no sexual experience, no previous relationships, and not even many friendships, he was terrified he would humiliate himself and you would leave him completely. You were both adults, both clever, you both knew there was always 'something' there, but without you ever acting upon it, Mycroft decided to live his life keeping you as a friend rather than risk not having you at all. He felt guilty enough having you here anyway. He couldn't allow you to keep stroking his hair like that, or letting you sleep in his bed with him, hold him as he snored, when it was for completely other desires in his own mind, not without speaking to you. No, that wouldn't be fair- even if he didn't fully understand everything himself and was still incredibly scared. You needed to know the truth, about everything, and, if there were the slightest chance you'd forgive him, he had decided he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't put it off anymore, he wanted you to carry on doing those things, wanted to continue the nights you would stay in his bed. But Mycroft wanted it to change, he wanted to be able to start the night with a ghost of his hand on your hip, without waiting until you were asleep to bring himself to have that courage, to wake up next to you and not feel the awkward need to move so soon, just to stay a little longer. Christ, Mycroft wanted every cliché in the book with you, and it took him until yesterday to realise how much he wanted that, after nearly losing you. And he needed you to know, even if it risked it all.

"Y/N I-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I took it too far I was just messing about.. Not that I didn't mean it, I wasn't joking about you.. You are very attractive, but it was inappropriate.. I shouldn't have said it.. I just wanted to help.. though I don't think it did, might have made it worse, actually.. Didn't want to say anything and let you find out.. like that.. not that it matters.. because I AM happy JUST being your friend, over the moon, actually.. so I don't want you to think I ruined that... Because I know you don't feel.. like that.. and you're not saying anything which is scaring me a little because you're always talking.. Not that I don't like that.. I love you talking to me, you've got a lovely voice.. and.. and I'm going to shut up again.. sorry.. again.." You rambled, a lot, too much.. far too much. Mycroft tried to process everything, his eyes closing at every word. You were making this so much harder for him, admitting everything like that. Mycroft hunched forward in his position and braced his elbows on his knees, index and middle finger of each hand holding the weight of his head by his temples.

"No just.. Just stop talking for a moment." Mycroft snapped, cutting you off as your mouth opened to speak a little, the small jump back made his gaze soften. "Please." He spoke softer, apologetic. "I can't.. talk about that.. not yet. Not until you know.." You went to speak again but his head tilted, eyes containing a rare glaze of vulnerability, trying to stay in contact with your own but constantly dropping back to his lap- a silent plea to stay quiet, be patient and just give him a moment. And you did. Turning your body completely sideways, you crossed your legs on the sofa, hands resting folded in your lap as you encouraged him to continue with a brief nod of your head. "I fear if I don't tell you of yesterday's happenings in this very moment that I never shall, and that is far too selfish, even of me." He took a deep breath in. "But I just.. need a moment. A few, likely, throughout." You nodded your head again.

From there, Mycroft began to explain everything that had happened, told you of his sister, where she had taken him, Sherlock and John, what she spoke about, what she tried to get them to do. His voice cracked every so often, knuckles whitened as his fists clenches, creases formed in his trousers where he squeezed his hand on them, but you listened to every word and stayed silent- eyes welling with small tears. Mycroft spoke of the screen, told you of the snipers that were out there, targeting Ms Hudson and Molly. Your body stiffened as he added Lestrade to the list, feeling your throat tighten a little at the mere thought of losing Greg. Mycroft pressed on, told you about how Eurus tried to make Sherlock choose between him and John, told you how he'd tried to convince Sherlock to just shoot him, how Sherlock refused and threatened to shoot himself. His voice went breathless at the end of that, the idea of losing his brother so easily still fresh in his mind. You loosened your sitting position and leaned over, taking Mycroft's hand in your own and squeezing. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Please, don't." He whispered, trying to fold his hand into a fist to escape your embrace. You didn't let go and offered your other hand on his back in support as you watched a stray tear fall down his cheek. "I said don't!" He shouted, moving from your touch and standing up from the sofa, beginning to pace as his face contorted into more pain, another tear following the path of the last. You sat back, watched him, didn't take the anger to heart. "It was my fault! All of it!" He ran his hands through his hair and tugged, moving them after to wipe the droplets from his cheek.

"Myc it's ok-"

"It isn't okay Y/N! No part of any of this is even remotely close to okay!" He stilled now, posture going back rigid as he looked at you, eyes bloodshot and glassy. He told you of his Birthday present to Eurus- five unsupervised minutes with Moriarty- and started his pacing again. "A man died yesterday because of me. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly. They all almost died yesterday. You almost... you almost died yesterday." His breath hitched again, lip softly quivering at the end of his words. You tensed a little and frowned, confused and urging him to elaborate. "They weren't the only people on the screens, not the only ones with a red dot on their heads, Y/N." Gaze avoiding you now, turned completely to face the wall rather than look at you at all- giving him a chance to compose himself, steadying his voice. "I saw you, you were happy, just dancing and making tea, but at any moment you could have... and it would have been my fault. And I know I should have told you yesterday, it was selfish of me using you the way that I have without letting you know everything. You could have been gone before I could tell you everything, before I could explain how I feel about you, and it all came rushing to me the moment I saw your face on that screen. I’m so sorry, for everything, for ignoring everything, for being the reason you almost-" The last thing Mycroft had expected was the feeling of arms around his waist, the feeling of a head resting between his shoulder blades, soaking the shirt with tears. You sniffed, holding onto him tighter as you cried into his back.

"It's okay Mycroft." You spoke, voice croaking from tears. "They're okay.. I'm okay. And you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." The relief Mycroft felt from your words ran through his body as he slumped a little, left hand holding on to where yours joined on his stomach, his right lifting to his eyes where, in a very rare moment, he allowed himself to weep.

***

Neither of you were too sure on how long you stayed like that, Mycroft being held in your arms as he quietly cried into his hand, you into his back, but it was long enough that your feet were beginning to ache and Mycroft had become silent a short while ago. You attempted to loosen your grip but Mycroft quickly grabbed back at your hands, holding them to him again. You changed your tactic and instead circled round until your hands remained together on his back, you now at his front and you gave him one last squeeze before guiding him backwards to the sofa, taking your place next to him but keeping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." His voice was broken, quieter than usual. You shook your head and fought the urge to cry again.

"Don't." You spoke, sliding a hand down to hold his own that rested on his thigh. "Don't apologise Myc. You didn't do anything on purpose, you were just trying to be a good person.. a good brother. We're both still alive. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly, they're all fine, and I have no doubt that it was partly due to you that they are still okay- whatever the three of you did in there, it worked, and that's all that matters to me." Mycroft shifted, his eyes finding yours once more, scanning, searching, trying to find anything that showed you were lying, that you didn't trust him anymore, but he couldn't find anything.

"But I-" You placed a hand at the back of his neck and leaned forward slightly, your lips meeting his briefly for a few seconds before pulling back. It wasn't desperate, or longing, or out of lust- it was everything Mycroft needed. Everything that let him know that you weren't going anywhere, that you still wanted to be around him, to be with him. He relaxed but didn't speak, his hand beneath yours just turning to allow your fingers to lace together as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. You rested your head against his shoulder, smiling softly as you felt his own rest atop yours before falling into a comfortable silence.

#mycroft #Mycroft Holmes #bbc mycroft #bbc mycroft holmes #mycroft x reader #bbc sherlock #reader insert #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft holmes x reader smut

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sexyglances · 3 years ago

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The Ways in Which Hyejin Moves Forward and Dusik Steps Back

The spotlight is often on Hyejin and how she keeps drawing lines in her relationships with others, but what is also narratively noteworthy is that even though Dusik rebukes Hyejin for stepping back (and her seeming lack of compassion because of her sometimes biting or harsh words), it's the very same habits he criticizes her for are also often the same ones he engages in with her as well. But since he does it with an air of hapless helpfulness, he's easily forgiven, or not seen as prickly as her own defensiveness.

Dusik tells Hyejin to cross lines freely, yot always keeps his own boundaries in all his relationships with people. He accuses her of being narrow-minded in how she deals with people, yet he is always trying to tell her to do this the way he thinks is best (and his way of doing things is not always the best! For example, Hyejin was correct about giving Juri space away from her dad for the night). For all the times that he has admonished Hyejin for drawing the line when lines aren't necessary, he takes just as many steps back when she moves forward. Of course, she is obviously emotionally guarded as well, but she does have the courage to take the lead when it comes to her feelings. It's only when Dusik doesn't meet her back halfway that she falls back as well and has her own bluster about lines and boundaries that should not be crossed. She is reacting to his own guardedness in kind.

Another thing Dusik says is that one should be direct and "apologize for spilling milk rather than avoiding [the people it affected]," yet he deflects and comes up with (*ahem* the dumbest) excuses as to why he lied to Hyejin about their kiss. For all his bluster, he too, is used to creating space and distance between him and other people. He may be capable in many ways of practicality and usefulness, and he may be the person who other people turn to when they need help or are in trouble, and he may be the go-to person to fix any issue someone else has, but the issue he needs to learn to fix the most is his fear of his own vulnerability. And the first step to doing that is getting over his own mental block of allowing someone into his life where he might want to rely on someone else as much as they can rely on him.

Dusik's most overarching dichotomy is how wants to be a savior but cannot accept the possibility of being saved himself. He is incredibly uncomfortable when he is the one being taken care of and being put in the position of being reached toward rather than him being the one reaching forward. If he reaches forward first then he can set the parameters and maintain control of the situation. He has the control to draw back whenever he wants rather than being at the mercy of the whims and desires of another person. Since he can only control himself, he only wants to rely on himself. We see Hyejin reach forward over and over again, but the power dynamic in which she reaches forward has changed as well, as she goes from being someone that needs him (when she first showed up to town and needed help), to someone that wants to spend time with him (looking for him, creating situations to see each other and spend time together), to someone that requires more of him (needs him to verbally recognize his attraction to her), and because she is the one trying to move things along then that is where Dusik starts to falter in response. She's not just reaching forward, she's pushing.

Hyejin is the one that directly confronts their feelings and asks if he likes her, she's the one that kisses first, she's the one who presumably moves from the bed during their drunken night to be next to him (hence why she did not have her own pillow on the floor). Even when she literally reaches forward to wipe the sauce off his mouth, he is taken aback and uncomfortable. Not that she did anything wrong, but he has a complex about being taken care of. He'd rather pull every relationship back into transactional territory as a way of keeping himself from looking (being?) too emotionally attached than admit emotional dependence in any way. If everything he does is a favor or has a price or is transactional in any way, then he can live in his self-reliant fantasy. He obviously does harbor a lot of feelings because he is often passionate despite his clear desire to maintain a cool outer demeanor, but it's not something he wants the world to see. It's his main defense mechanism--to separate himself from others and deny any deeper feelines that can't be explained away with whimsicality.

If Dusik keeps himself from being too attached to anyone else then he can live in denial forever never recognizing his loneliness or acknowledging the fledgling desire for anything more. Again, he has this compulsion to be the one that is needed, and not to be the one that needs. Companionship, equality, dependence--they scare him. He wants to be an island of one, creating his own ecosystem of reliability, providing anything he might need for himself. But a healthy ecosystem cannot thrive without the symbiosis that others provide. A person needs real, reciprocal relationships to survive, but Dusik is in deep denial about that. So he creates artificial distance between him and other people.

And not only does he create these distances, he also creates unequal footing between them. Obviously, this is visually illustrated by Dusik catching both Hyejin and Sunghyun from falling, but also how he carried the grandma on his back when she hurt her ankle, and even how he usually wears an apron when he goes to the café so as to literally illustrate how he is hired to be there, even though not even the owner wears an apron while working. Dusik instinctually creates this separation as a way to shield himself from emotional attachment. Now, does this work? Of course not! He is absolutely completely emotionally attached to everyone in Gongjin and also already to Hyejin. You can see it in how he always shows up to help even beyond the parameters he sets, how he runs to the dental clinic when he hears about the creep, how he finds ways to help Hyejin make up with the townspeople, how he jumps on stage as an impromptu backup dancer with her. Being smitten isn't enough. He wants to believe it is enough. He wants to believe treading water and pretending icy exteriors don't exist is the key to a happy life. But both Hyejin and Dusik's subconsciouses are demanding more from their relationship with each other.

But for now, Dusik is asking for more of Hyejin than he is willing to put up himself. She may be hesitant, but she is trying. And she is actually so brave! She may be prickly like a hedgehog at first, but she DOES take people in. She steps outside her emotional bubble over and over again. She opens her home to Miseon and has her move in with her, she takes in the kids the hedgehog when they ask her for help, she has a very personal conversation with Juri and relates to Juri (and learns from Juri as well! She is not so snobby as to not learn an emotional lesson from a child) when Juri runs away from home. These are all things that Dusik would not do. He insists on living alone, he says he does not take care of living things, and he wanted to drag Juri home right away without listening to her. Yes, these examples above illustrate how he and Hyejin differ, but also show how he has his own ways of keeping himself closed off.

However, what this episode ilustrated the most was that human connections are important, and how forging those bonds and nurturing those bonds make one's life vastly more fulfilling. Every instance where someone faced a situation alone was greatly improved by the support of others around them. The entirety of the concert had people in the community hyping the people on stage and making the performances more fulfilling in doing so. And then once again someone was saved from falling onto the rocks, but this time it was Dusik being saved. Even the doesn't want to, he is going to have to face being vulnerable and a person that reaches forward not just to help someone else, but who has to reach forward for help in order to move forward in his own life.

#hometown cha cha cha #kdrama #meta #my meta #homcha meta #once again i am asking you to consider that hyejin is fucking fantastic #and also dusik is not all perfect either #also it's bc they are both imperfect which is why their story and how they are coming together is so compelling!

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hockeylvr59 · 4 years ago

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I don’t know if you remember writing this but would you consider doing a part 2 to the blurb you wrote about Sidney having a son and not wanting to be in the picture and he comes back 15 years later?

So I’ve been sitting on this message forever and I wasn’t sure that a second part was ever in the plans but uh...here you go. I’m not sure I love the ending on this but we’re going with it. (1,703 words)

~~~~~

It had started with a favor. One that you hated asking for. One that you knew was likely to come with strings attached. One that was solely for the sake of your son.

You remember sitting there with the number entered into your phone waiting for you to press the green call button for more than ten minutes. You remember the anxious feeling deep in the pit of your stomach as the phone rang. You remember hearing your name in that familiar deep dulcet tone.

“Hi, Sidney.” You’d breathed, your throat going tight already.

“I didn’t think you were going to call…” He trailed off. “It’s been...well months since I left you a message.”

“I...honestly I wasn’t planning on calling.” You admitted. “But I need a favor. Well, Charlie needs a favor.” Before he could say anything you continued, jumping right into it. “You have a personal gym here, don’t you? Charlie...he’s...he’s going crazy not being able to work out with everything in lockdown. Which means I’m going crazy because he’s going crazy and with trying to work from home it’s all just a mess. We’ve made it this far but I don’t think anything is going to open any time soon and he’s already hating being away from the rink this long…”

Before you’d been able to say anything else Sidney had cut you off.

“If you’re asking if he can use my private gym to work out the answer is yes.” You remember letting out a sigh of relief but also waiting for the other shoe to drop. When the line remained quiet after that you spoke softly once more.

“That’s it? Just yes.” You questioned.

“Just yes Y/N.” Sidney stated. “Did you really think I’d say no?”

You paused, pursing over your words. “I expected any agreement to come with a condition.” You admitted. You heard Sidney sigh over the line a few times.

“No condition. Would I like to get the chance to talk to him...yes. But I’m not going to refuse to let him use my unoccupied gym unless he does. I fucked up and I don’t think I’m in any position to be demanding anything just because you’ve asked for a small favor. Goodness knows you have a right to ask way more than this from me given everything.”

The brutal honesty with which he treated himself was only a bit surprising and you murmured soft thanks on behalf of your son who was going to be so excited to get to use a more proper gym. Not knowing what else to say, you made an excuse to end the call, your heart racing at having spoken with Sidney for the first time since he left.

A key with a short sheet of information had been left in your mailbox only two days later and while you had expected Sidney to keep his word, you hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Charlie had been thrilled when you told him and for at least an hour each day from that day forward you took your son over to Sidney’s gym allowing him to start training again even if he couldn’t go full throttle since mom could only do so much as a spotter.

Having spent months watching your teenage son struggle through quarantine, it was incredible watching him come back to life right in front of your eyes. At the same time, watching him like this brought all of the Sidney out in him and you fought back how hard it was seeing your son take more and more after his father.

___

Charlie had always had a large amount of respect for his father, at least as a player. And lately, it seemed like his respect for him as a person was growing.

All Charlie’s life it wasn’t articles about Sidney Crosby on ice that caught your son’s attention, it was the ones about how he treats people off-ice. Many times you’d discussed the hurt feelings your son maintained knowing his father continued to do so many things for other people while being completely out of the picture with his own son. You couldn’t pretend you knew how it felt for your son to see Sidney running hockey camps and playing with his Little Penguins or spending time with Alex Letang and Nikita Malkin. But you knew that it was hard for him.

But since Charlie had started working out in Sid’s gym, using Sid’s artificial ice, you could see some of your son’s hardened walls start to soften because for the first time his dad had done something for him and him alone.

So when Charlie came into your room around 10:30 pm on August 7th, you knew there was something important on his mind before he even opened his mouth.

“Can we…can we call him?” Charlie had asked. “I want to talk to him.” Charlie didn’t need to clarify who he was talking about, you were well aware. And at first, your protective instincts took over. The Penguins had just been eliminated from the play-in round of playoffs and it was Sidney’s 33rd birthday. The odds were very likely that Sidney would not be in a good mood at all and you didn’t want your son being subjected to the brunt of his frustrations.

Eventually, though, those light brown eyes wore you down.

“We’ll text him.” You agreed. This way if Sidney was in a foul mood he could just ignore it or say so without putting too much pressure on him.

Feel free to disregard this if you’re not up for it but Charlie would like to call you.

Chewing on your lip you hugged Charlie close while waiting to see if you’d get any response. You knew that he would understand if Sidney didn’t want to talk after that kind of loss but at the same time you knew it would hurt a little too, facing any kind of rejection from his dad.

After just a few minutes your phone lit up with a FaceTime request and you took a deep breath before answering it, Sidney’s tired face appearing on screen.

“Wow...someone is tech-savvy.” You murmured in greeting having not expected a FaceTime at all. You ignored the way you could tell his eyes were raking over you and instead murmured that you were going to let the two of them talk, passing the phone over to Charlie. For a moment you thought you heard Sidney’s breath catch as you left the room motioning that you would just be downstairs.

“So I’m not sure it’s been a Happy Birthday so far…” You heard Charlie speak as you moved to give them some privacy. Settling onto the living room couch with a pint of ice cream, you waited as patiently as you could.

It was nearly midnight when Charlie came downstairs with your phone in his hand, flopping onto the couch next to you after kissing your head.

“Thanks mom.” He whispered and you nodded snuggling close for a few minutes before sending him up to bed. You didn’t feel the need to ask about what they had talked about, Charlie would share in time if he wanted to. It made you a little uneasy but that wasn’t important.

As you slipped into bed, your phone buzzed with three small words.

Thank you Y/N.

____

After that first conversation, Charlie called Sidney every other week and the two of them talked for at least half an hour.

Sidney never tried to push boundaries though. He never tried to buy his way into Charlie’s life, he never demanded more than either you or Charlie were willing to give. But at the same time, you knew that he was now playing a role in your son’s life that Charlie had needed for a long time. Even if it wasn’t quite a father yet, it was certainly as a mentor and because of that Charlie thrived even more in the way he trained and the way he interacted with those around him.

For so long you had pushed Sidney out of your life but now he was slowly oozing back into it.

Even despite all of this, you were surprised when you walked into the living room to find Charlie rewinding a national broadcast hockey game. Except he wasn’t rewatching a play, no, he was rewinding an intermission interview segment with Sidney himself. You could see the tears in his eyes and as he pressed play you immediately understood why.

“So 1000 games. Three Stanley Cups, two Conn Smythe trophies, Hart’s, Art Ross’s, Leadership Awards, MVP awards...and that’s just your NHL achievements. You’ve done pretty much everything a player could dream of doing. Is there anything you would change about it all?” The interviewer asked.

Sidney paused for a moment as if he was thinking about all of those things.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess there is definitely something I would change looking back if I could.” He admitted, his eyes going soft and a bit watery on camera. The interviewer just gave him a look pressing for more information and Sidney chewed on his lip before speaking. “I guess if there was one thing I could change, it would be having a family by my side. Having my son by my side. I see Geno and Kris with their kids sharing all of these experiences and I could have had that all along if I wasn’t so scared. If I could change one thing, it would be that.”

The interview cuts out then, a broadcaster saying that the full interview will air on the channel’s youtube page after Crosby plays game 1000 with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Charlie quickly rewinds playing the segment for a third time before he realizes you’re there and he looks up at you crying steadily.

Moving around the couch you pull Charlie into your arms hugging him tightly and letting him cry. You couldn’t imagine what Charlie was feeling, hell you barely knew how you were feeling.

For the first time in 15 years, Sidney had publicly acknowledged his son’s existence and that acknowledgment had the potential to change everything.

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby blurb #pittsburgh penguins #pittsburgh penguins imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #ppenguins #Anonymous

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spinaroos-47 · 3 years ago

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Hunter Noceda AU: Venance

(can't digitalize these rn so you'll get the sketches for now)

So yeah, Golden Guard version two!

When Belos does find out about Hunter in YBOS, Hunter gets the bomb dropped about them being related (idk how yet). but Hunter obviously doesn’t believe in it. Until Hunting Palismen comes around and they find this small thingy, Venance.

(thank you @bernardo-draws-and-cries for the name. Its based on the name Venâncio, which means “the one who hunts”)

He is another grimwalker made by Belos, he’s 12 (yeah.) and way more stressed (Belos has gotten more iron fisted after losing Hunter). Someone save this poor child

- He’s just starting out as the Golden Guard (and he’s not a coven head. Kikimora is. And she still wants him dead too), he’s still getting the hang of it. He does act tough and serious, way more serious than canon GG/Hunter, no space for goofyness.

- So yeah, a duo Hunting Palismen thing would be fun. Haven’t sorted out everything here but I do think Hunter would also go with Luz because of no palisman reasons. And he hasn’t met Ven yet, he only heard Lilith talking about him and Luz and Eda dealing with him on Separate Tides (he was busy drowning in guilt and trying to help with the money situation in other ways), so when he meets Ven and when he sees his face and how similar they are (and how many scars that kid already has), he’s reasonably confused/upset, like “Oh, that creepy man wasn’t lying. This doesn’t make anything on this situation better”

- After the initial surprise/confusion, Luz and Hunter jokingly call him Ghaterer until they learn his name, then they start calling him Ven. At first Ven hates this nickname but ends up reluctantly accepting it.

- Even before Eclipse Lake he’s so scared about being replaced, and knowing about Hunter’s existence in the Boiling Isles makes it worse, now he’s super sure he isn’t as valuable to Belos anymore. So he hates Hunter

- Hunter: come here youre part of the found family now

Ven: NO

Hunter: too late *picks him up*

Hunter: If Luz taught me something is that if you didn’t want to get assimilated into my found family, you should have killed me when you had the chance

Yeah that’s their dynamic when Hunter learns a bit more about him

- Venance doesn’t have much respect as the Golden Guard yet. He’s small (like, maybe even less than 1,50m/4′11″), young, has just been starting out on this role, like, in the last few months, could easily be picked up like a kitty, so he has to fight quite a bit to be taken seriously. Which results on him being way more grumpy and short tempered

- So he doesn’t take it very well when hes made fun of by the scouts in Latissa. Not at all

- Hunter, who was joking around until then:…are you okay?

Ven: I AM! *barely holding the tears back*

Hunter:

Hunter: that’s it youre part of the family now

Ven: you can’t do that

Hunter: we’re two and you’re one, we have your staff and youre very light.

(he still would put up a fight, and it would take a while for it to end. And he bites hard, he has very sharp fangs)

- Scouts: Go home with your sibiling

Hunter: *oh. Oh yeah i forgot we have the same freaking face*

- They don’t know yet about the grimwalker thing. Well, maybe Ven discovers later but at the moment where Hunting Palismen happens, neither of them know anything besides them being related, Ven got told he is his brother, and that Hunter was taken away from the coven before he was born

- Rascal seeing Hunter: hey you’re cool, i kinda want to be your palisman

Rascal seeing Ven: oh heck this kid needs help

- I’m not sure if Hunter gets Lil Rascal. Because on one side, would be fun for him to have Lil Rascal and train doing magic like this, but also could be good for Ven to have some small support back at home, like how they are to Hunter in canon. So this hasn’t been decided yet. Hunter could either get Lil Rascal and Ven doesn’t get a palisman/gets a blue jay palisman, or Ven gets Lil Rascal and Hunter comes back also empty handed

- So I’m going with the no palisman for Hunter route for now.

- It’s a bitter moment for both him and Luz. He tries to convince her that it’s okay, that they’ll get theirs soon, but she still kinda feels like a failure about this. And he himself thinks it’s because they don’t have a magic bile sac, so it’s not a good time for them. Eda and King lift their spirits a bit about this, though.

- Either by peeking around or just flat out being told, Ven does learn about him (and Hunter) being grimwalkers. What does he do with that? He has a crisis about it, which raises even more the stakes for him in Eclipse Lake. He still wouldn’t know his purpose for the Day of Unity, but he would know that he was created for it and could lose his position if he didn’t prove himself worthy of it.

- He would explode at Hunter one day and end up telling the truth about them being Grimwalkers (after Eclipse Lake)

- Ven: Do you want to know what you really are?! You’re a clone! You’re just someone’s clone just like me! A replacement!

Hunter, trying to not freak out but freaking out anyways: ...are you okay?

Ven; WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- If Belos is searching for Hunter, on the grounds of him being a more mature grimwalker than Venance, Ven could end up resorting to sabotaging the searches, he doesn’t want to be replaced.

- And he’s making Ven convinced that he will be replaced, to pit both boys against eachother. He gets Ven more under his thumb and not risking Hunter making Ven change his mind. Which doesn’t work as he intented, Ven does get scared about it but Hunter ends up pretty quickly going “dude why do you think I want to replace you?” and Ven is quickly thrown into a loop because he can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to do that

- Ven: what do you mean with “I don’t wanna be the Golden Guard”? If you’re like me you should DESIRE IT SINCE YOU WERE BORN

Hunter: lol no. I dealt with my need of approval a year ago on therapy.

Hunter: Also being a cop sucks.

- This boy is a tense child always a few bad moments away from a breakdown/meltdown. And has anger problems. A lot of anger in a very tiny body

- There’s some more interactions between Ven and the Noceda duo, and he would rather die than admit that he’s got slightly attached to them

- Eda: Luz told me that Golden Guard is a uwu smol boi that needs to be protected, hell knows what this means

Hunter, who definetly came there too because FUCKING COOL ASS CAVE AND LAKE: i hate/love her

Ven: If i ever see that human again-

Amity AND Hunter: watch your fucking mouth

(definetly not how it would play out but very funny sdkdshdfsj)

- In terms of strength he couldn’t defeat Amity in a fight for the key, he would lean more on the blackmailing. He is a 12 year old but he’s still on a position of power on the emperor’s coven and he knows where the key is, it would put the owlfam on Belos’ line of sight again (if they even ever went away from it)

- That or he passes out, gets dragged out of there by them (he’s a lil shit but they’re not going to leave him there alone where Kikimora could kill him) and he falls asleep for 12 hours in the couch on the owl house. Which ends up giving him a day where he can be just a kid. He’s very weirded out by everything but he enjoys it a little bit at least. He would still try to get the key and would be torn apart by the guilt of thinking of doing this and the guilt of not doing this

- It wouldn’t take much to make him want to stay in the owl house. He’s starved for positive attention. It wouldn’t be easy but also it’s not as hard as for how Hunter is right now in canon

- I don’t think this could happen but I keep thinking about one day him and Hunter switching places so he can be just a kid for one day. Would be cool to see him sneaking into Hexside (or being dragged there, which is more likely to happen) and interacting with Willow and Gus

And that’s some of what we have for Ven right now! He’s a fun character to figure out :3

This took SO MUCH TIME to write

#toh #the owl house #long post #golden guard #hunter noceda au #au #toh au #toh oc #i guess?#alec talks #my art #venance

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perthshirecottage · 3 years ago

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I keep thinking about how differently T’challa and Peter grew up despite both being taken in by the Ravagers and the people they became. A lot of people are using this as an excuse to point out that this shows that Peter is a horrible person because look, all they did is change it to T’challa and suddenly all these people had wonderful lives! Yondu was a better father and Thanos learned the error of his ways and was also a better father! T’challa was space Robin Hood and helped people! The thing is that it’s not just one factor, one moment that literally changed the how everything changed. Yes, one moment was a springboard to change, but there were so many factors, so many little moments after that really and truly changed the course of history. It’s not a matter of who is the better person but it comes down to how each kid was brought into the Ravagers. It also makes a difference how they were raised before they were even abducted. And how they were raised after. All of these factors effect how the story unfolds. But the biggest factor is Yondu himself and how he, as the adult, chose to treat each of these kids. Some of this is speculation but it’s all based on evidence from the source material. I’m going to go through how each kid was raised so we can get to the bottom of how things turned out so differently.

Let’s start with T’challa.

T’challa was a kid who grew up with everything. He was a prince and therefore lacked for nothing. He was safe and had never had anything personally bad happen to him. He grew up in a palace with both of his parents and has not experienced loss. It’s good that he has never had to deal with these things but it means that he has felt more safe and comfortable in the world than Peter and T’challa has the confidence that kids brought up with all those comforts and safeties has.

T’challa is also specifically a prince. This means that T’challa is growing up with the absolute best tutors that money can buy. He has Wakandan tutors who are teaching about technology that is more advanced than other places in the world. He is taught about peaceful negotiating skills. T’challa grew up on diplomacy and learning what it meant to one day have to take responsibility for an entire country. And being a prince, the crown prince, it means that in the hierarchy of things the only people with more power than him are his parents. His parents have taught him to be humble and that he doesn’t have the right to lord that power over others That he is meant to serve his people and to take care of and love them. So he is kind and not a spoiled brat but it doesn’t change the fact that that kind of environment means that people treat T’challa with a certain amount of respect that is due to one in his position. T’challa expects people to listen to him. He expects people to respect him and to not push him to the side because this is how he was raised. Up until this point T’challa has not known loss and this will affect his initial encounter with the Ravagers.

And then comes the abduction. T’challa has just had an argument with his father. T’challa wants to go out and explore, to see the world. And suddenly T’challa is on space craft with real live aliens! This is so cool! He isn’t scared of all these strange looking aliens. In fact he thinks the whole thing is awesome. They haven’t hurt him or shown themselves to be a threat so he hasn’t had a reason to be scared. T’challa is looking around in wonder and awe and not the slightest bit intimidated. Yondu is upset that they got the wrong kid but he also sees a kid who was just abducted who isn’t scared, who is eloquent and talking about adventure. He is impressed by this kid and his fearlessness. So Yondu figures, hey, might as well give this kid a fun little adventure before I take him home, you know, to make up for this little mistake. And T’challa may be eloquent and have learned how talk to unreasonable people (I think it’s a natural skill T’challa has, but he was also taught to talk to people and that skill was nurtured in him) but he is still a kid who wants to go have some fun and not be burdened by his duties and responsibilities for awhile. So of course T’challa isn’t thinking about how his parents will be feeling when they wake up and see him gone. All T’challa wants is a good time and is thinking like the child he is. He will be home soon enough anyway.

And if Yondu gets attached and decides that he doesn’t want to return T’challa well, a little white lie might hurt for a bit but Yondu has always been a little selfish. And to make up for the lie, Yondu will treat T’challa really well, as if the boy were his own son. Yondu is caring and comforting when he tells T’challa that his whole family is dead and while it makes him uncomfortable to openly show his own caring side, it also eases Yondu’s guilt considerably as he hugs a sobbing T’challa. And to top it off he just found out what Ego was doing, and, well there’s no point in uprooting Peter Quill from his life cause Yondu isn’t working for that stupid planet anymore. He has T’challa and he doesn’t want any other kid. So T’challa is given a place of honor among the Ravagers as Yondu’s son. T’challa is listened to and given respect. T’challa is kind and calm and respectful and he keeps worming his way into Yondu’s heart. T’challa is well behaved and Yondu doesn’t even have to resort to threats to keep him in line. And T’challa trusts Yondu and talks to his father figure and works out any problems they have. They form a bond built from love, trust and respect. And Yondu protects T’challa from the rough crew. No one dares to offer up a harsh word towards T’challa because they all remember Yondu’s wrath the last time someone tried. T’challa was taught to fight on earth and Yondu is still impressed by how much T’challa knows and man that kid sure knows how to throw a punch. Yondu has so much respect early on and he has guilt about lying about T’challa’s family and all these factors affect their relationship as T’challa grows.

T’challa is raised by thieves so of course he becomes one himself. He was still young when he was taken (and it never feels like he was abducted. He was brought on an adventure and then offered a home when he lost his. The Ravagers are his family and the ship his home and there is nothing for him on earth but painful memories) so T’challa learns from the people who are raising him but he never loses the morals that were instilled in him from birth. So when T’challa gets a little older he starts to speak of the right thing to do and Yondu is touched by the words in a way he wouldn’t if he didn’t have to make up for so much red in his ledger. Which makes Yondu not want to listen. Yondu tries to ignore those thoughts of what he has done and he wants to continue going around stealing and living his life for himself and his crew as he has always done. He doesn’t want to change that much, not even for T’challa. But T’challa will not let up about the noble things they could be doing. And Yondu knows that it was a mistake to start out letting T’challa know he thought of him as a son so early in their relationship because when Yondu threatens to let the crew eat T’challa if he keeps going on about this nobility, T’challa simply laughs in his face. As if after all these years T’challa would actually believe that threat. As T’challa keeps talking about how they should be helping people, it upsets some of the crew. They don’t want T’challa and his morals in their ship and they don’t care if T’challa is Yondu’s son, the boy is trying to mutiny against their captain and they won’t stand for it! Yondu doesn’t take it well when Taser Face tries to throw T’challa out of an airlock. Yondu feels obligated to truly listen to T’challa after the whole fiasco. In the end Yondu tries to resist, but T’challa doesn’t let up and those words strike a nerve and Yondu dedicates his life to making up for those kids who were killed. He never does tell T’challa why his crew accidentally kidnapped him. Yondu knows he couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on T’challa’s face. Yondu is determined to be the best father he can be and he’s so glad he didn’t wait until it was too late.

And because T’challa and Yondu are on a crusade to help people, they specifically search out Thanos to have a talk about how crazy the man is starting to become. And it’s well over a decade before The Infinity War so Thanos isn’t quite as crazy as he will become and can still be reasoned with because someone got to him so early. (I still think this is a stretch cause the man was insane and you can’t reason with insane people but this is the only explanation I can come up with for why T’challa stopped Thanos with one conversation).

T’challa becomes such a big part of the Ravagers. He in fact becomes their leader in a way. Yondu is still the captain but the crew looks to T’challa as their moral compass. He helps to plan the heists. He figures out who is corrupt and that’s who they steal from. He figures out who needs money and he gives it them. When people ask for a name he remembers his noble birth and how he now lives among the heavens. And while he is not a king, or a prince, he is nobility and he answers Starlord. And so people spread tales of their savior and soon everyone in the galaxy has heard of Starlord.

And so T’challa grows up surrounded by love and support. He knows how to talk so people listen and this changes his dynamic with so many people and the galaxy’s destiny is changed.

Now to Peter. Peter is a kid from Missouri who lives in a small house and goes to public school and has absolutely nothing about him that makes him special. His mom works hard to provide for him but it’s just her because no one knows where Peter’s dad is. They don’t have much money but Meredith loves her son and he loves her. It doesn’t take the sting out when Peter sees other kids with their dads but Peter is grateful to have someone who cares. And then the person that Peter loves most, the person that his whole world revolves around is dying. Slowly and painfully. He has to watch her suffer for months, maybe years. Peter has to see his mom go from happy and healthy to withering away in a hospital bed. To see her mentally deteriorating and be completely helpless to stop it. Peter is suffering but he is still going to stick up for those who can’t fight back, like the poor frog those mean boys squished with a stick. His mom taught him to be kind and a good person, he just doesn’t know how to get people to listen to him. Peter has never been taught diplomacy and no one is going to listen to some skinny little kid who is vulnerable and a prime target for bullies.

And then Peter has to watch his mom die. Peter didn’t want to take his mom’s hand because he is scared and irrationally thought that if he didn’t take her hand, if he didn’t give her that permission to die, then she wouldn’t. He regretted it the moment her heart stopped and he would regret it until years later when he found a new family that helped him learn how to heal. Then Peter is shoved out of the room and everyone forgets about him and the grief and the fear and the guilt, it’s just too much and so Peter runs. He runs until he can’t and he falls to the ground sobbing.

And then comes the abduction. One moment Peter was on the ground and then suddenly he is on a spaceship, hurtling away from his home and his mom. Peter only needed to get away from that hospital room! He didn’t mean to truly leave! Everything feels too big and it’s completely overwhelming! And he is surrounded by large monsters who are scary looking and one of them is talking to him and he has blue skin and sharp teeth and everything is too much, too much and Peter screams! He screams and he sobs and he scrambles away from these terrifying creatures and he just wants his mom! He wants to go home! Where is his grandpa?! What is going on?! And then the creature threatens to let his crew eat him if he doesn’t stop making such a racket and Peter’s gaze catches those sharp teeth, gleaming, ready to tear a little boy’s flesh from his bones and he stops screaming, completely paralyzed by fear.

Yondu looks at this sniveling, snotty creature before him and he feels his ire rise. Stupid kid has only been on his ship a few minutes and he is already on Yondu’s nerves. So Yondu barks at the kid to shut up or the crew will eat him. The kid doesn’t stop crying but the screaming does stop so that’s a win in Yondu’s book. And there is a twinge of satisfaction when the men laugh at the whole scene. As if any of them would actually eat a child but it got the reaction Yondu wanted. The sooner this job is over the better. And then Yondu finds out that Ego has been killing his own children and while Yondu isn’t particularly fond of Quill, he is still a child and Yondu won’t be a part of killing another kid. There’s enough red in his ledger as it is. Anyway, Quill is small, he can fit in places adults can’t, is good for thieving. Yondu will make more money keeping the kid in the long run.

Peter is taught how to steal, how to fly, how to shoot. Peter is a rambunctious child who has a plethora of issues and loss and has to navigate the waters of grief by himself. No one holds him as he cries for the loss of his mother, his grandpa, his planet. There are no hugs or words of comfort. Just glares and sneers for a weak kid who is terrified of all the scary aliens he is now stuck with. Yondu has offered a few pats on the shoulder when Peter is feeling especially low, and sometimes Yondu will sit in companionable silence when no one else is around. Yondu keeps the crew from eating him (and Peter never grows out of this fear, not really) but Yondu doesn’t do a thing about the harsh looks and the harsher words. And whenever a Ravager takes a swing at Peter, Yondu allows it since it will toughen him up. And Peter’s whole world has crashed down around his ears and he has no support and whenever he plucks up the courage, Peter does what he can to cause some chaos for these aliens that have taken him from his home. While there is a part of Peter that doesn’t want to return to a home that no longer has his mom, Peter can’t forget that the Ravagers forced him into this life, and he is their prisoner. When he is old enough to escape Peter has been gone for so long that he doesn’t see any point in going back. All that’s left for him on earth are painful memories. So Peter learns to get good at stealing so that he can earn his keep and not end up as dinner. He learns how to protect his belongings so no one takes it. He learns how to be wily and to use his wits to fight and escape from those who are bigger and stronger than he is. He learns to look out for himself first and foremost, because no one else is going to. Peter sticks with the Ravagers because he has no where else to go. No one recognizes him besides a Nova Corp officer. No one knows his name because Peter has been lost in the shuffle as another Ravager. One day the Ravagers are hired for a huge score and Peter decides that this is the one that’s big enough that he can finally strike out on his own. People will know his name and his mom’s legacy of her Starlord will live on. And if Peter’s betraying the Ravagers, oh well, it’s not like they have ever given him a reason to be loyal to them anyway. And this does turn out to be the big score Peter was looking for, but it didn’t come in the form of money. Peter found the family he had been so desperately longing for since his mom died.

Yondu teaches the kid the basics. How to steal, and shoot, and fly. Yondu also teaches the kid how to fight because it’s rough out there and he needs to be able to defend himself. The kid has no idea how to throw a punch or block one, so Yondu lets the crew take some swings at the kid because man, if that kid doesn’t learn to fight then he’s as good as dead. And Yondu reminds the kid that he is protecting him from a crew that wants to eat him. At first it’s a way to keep Quill in line when the kid does something stupid (Peter does a lot of stupid stuff and why can’t the kid just behave?) but it eventually stops being a threat and becomes an inside joke between the two of them. As Peter gets faster and stronger and more skilled and less weepy and fearful, Yondu starts taking a liking to him. He doesn’t really let on because why should Yondu make himself uncomfortable by talking about feelings, he doesn’t owe Peter anything since Yondu already saved the kid’s life by not giving him to Ego. If anything, Peter is indebted to him whether he knows it or not. Yondu knows, deep down that he isn’t talking care of Quill the way the kid deserves but Yondu can’t just give the kid up (Yondu’s always been a little selfish). And nothing forces Yondu to confront his own feelings and own up to his mistakes until they’re about to blow up a planet and Peter’s about to die and this is Yondu’s last chance to make up for the way he treated Peter and what he did to those other poor kids that Ego killed. So Yondu finally steps up and becomes the father he should have been all along. He just wishes he hadn’t waited until it was too late.

In conclusion, the changes that were made were not simply from it being T’challa instead of Peter. It was so many factors. It was the initial introduction to the Ravagers, where T’challa wanted an adventure and got one. He wanted to go with the Ravagers and so it was fun and it was kind of his friends to let him stay after his family died. For Peter he had just watched his mom died and was emotionally vulnerable and the entire abduction actually felt like an abduction. It was traumatizing and nothing about it was fun. Yondu actively chose T’challa because the boy actually had a home to go back to. Yondu got stuck with Peter so the boy wouldn’t be murdered. Yondu had guilt about lying to T’challa and something to cause him to repent and treat T’challa better. Yondu could keep himself emotionally distant since he could reassure himself that he saved Peter’s life and didn’t owe the kid anything. T’challa was never given a reason to fear the Ravagers and so felt he could speak freely about his beliefs and change Yondu’s and the other’s minds. Peter spent his whole life worrying that he would mess up too big and be eaten so he tried no to bring too much ire on himself. T’challa was calm and had an extensive education and impressed Yondu from their first meeting. T’challa was respected and so therefore respected those who were raising him. Peter was brought in during the worst day of his life and already emotionally charged and a grieving kid was not something the Ravagers wanted to deal with. And Peter wasn’t equipped in anyway for the Ravager lifestyle and had to sink or float and I doubt anyone was that understanding when he floundered. Peter was a terrified and confused kid who sometimes acted up with his abductors.

Peter and T’challa were raised by the same person but they were also raised in completely different environments. It’s not fair to place of the weight of how either child turned out on their shoulders. They were children who had to deal with the world they were literally abducted into. And you can see that Yondu specifically treated T’challa differently than he ever did Peter. And it’s not fair to say it’s because T’challa was simply a better person because Yondu was the adult in the situation. They were children and they had no say in how they were raised. Yondu was the one who decided to keep them both. He was also the one who decided treat T’challa better. In gotg vol 2, Yondu was correct when he said he ‘didn’t do any of it right’. Yondu may have come to love Peter, but at the end of the day, Yondu was abusive towards Peter. Yondu wasn’t given an incentive to change his ways until the very end when he had to choose between Peter’s life and his own. It doesn’t mean that Yondu and Peter didn’t love each other in their own way. Yondu still raised Peter and took care of him, but it is canon that Yondu beat Peter and spent Peter’s whole life hanging the threat of being eaten over his head. Yondu wasn’t obvious in the ways he looked out for Peter. Yondu kept the Ravagers from killing him on several occasions, but Yondu never let Peter know he was protecting him until the last possible minute. In What If…there is not a single implication that Yondu ever threatened T’challa’s life or beat him or any of the other crap that happened to Peter. And gotg happened 26 years after Peter was abducted while the events of What If happened only 20 years later. So in far less time T’challa was able to accomplish more because he was better adjusted not because he was a better person. The whole conversation about Peter getting into a fight with some boys because he was protecting a frog shows his kindness and how he wants to defend those who can’t defend themselves. But Peter was raised in a place where he had to take care of himself because even in his 30s he was being threatened by Yondu (remember after Yondu pulled Peter and Gamora out of space and beat Peter up and pointed his arrow at Peter’s neck? Yeah that’s a pretty big threat and Peter isn’t surprised by it. Like this kind of treatment is normal). No one was looking out for Peter so he had to learn to survive his abuse and look after himself because he couldn’t count on anyone else until he met the rest of the Guardians. And T’challa was treated with worry and care. He was given support and understanding. T’challa has had a family since the moment that Ravager ship picked him up. The differences between these two stories has nothing to do with who was abducted, but with the how and why.

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