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phyltopia · 1 year

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The Miracle of Mundanity

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

~Tennessee Williams

Upon arriving at the seminar, I immediately felt out of place. This is not a rare occurrence for me- I feel out of place pretty much all the time, regardless of circumstance. I’m autistic, so I often don’t understand social cues, I struggle to make friends, I struggle with overstimulation and processing emotions, and I absolutely hate eye contact. I often describe it as feeling like everyone else is in color, while I exist in black and white.

I was able to settle down once introductions turned from one large group discussion to several small groups, to one-on-one dialogues. I felt a calming energy from my partner which lessened my anxiety and allowed me to focus on just her. I don’t recall the context, but I mentioned a quote from Einstein, who said, “there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” It may seem mundane, but it’s a miracle that we don’t have to tell our lungs to expand and contract in order to breathe, it’s a miracle that we don’t have to tell our heart to beat… beat… beat. It’s a miracle that any one of us was in that room at that time, let alone all of us, and it’s a miracle that my partner sat next to me. I get an email blast every day with a bunch of readings and quotes, which I usually read first thing in the morning, but due to a different schedule I didn’t read them until I was done for the day. One of the quotes was the Einstein quote I had referenced in the morning. That could be considered a coincidence, or simply a miracle of the mundane. I wrote her a thank you note for our talk.

From there I was able to focus on the program and took a lot away from the overall seminar. I found things I can use in my own work, from the dissertations on the God Box, Friendship, and Identity to exercises in Lucid Dream Reframing and Embracing the Void. I decided at that point that I want to be up on that stage presenting my research, whatever it turns out to be. I have references in my notes to finding the “plane of bliss” by silencing the mind, either with meditation or substances, and the Eight C’s of Self. I learned more about the nuts and bolts of the school and the program, but I still ate alone, kept mostly to myself, and focused on who I am not rather than who I am. I felt like everyone spoke with an elocution of such earnestness and compassion that it almost felt like flirting (Editor’s note: this feeling may be the result of the author’s Narcissistic Confabulation Dysmophia[1], in that he believes everyone either is or should be always flirting with him), which is a language I’m certainly not fluent in. I am not a person who wolf-howls, or beats drums, or practices much in the way of ceremony or ritual.

The coolest people I’ve ever met have the most colorful pasts, they’ve lived lives of risk, made bad choices, learned lessons, explored, and they’re not afraid of being real. Tattered tapestries woven of similar threads, they’re my kind of people. My favorite shade of crazy. ~Stephen L. Lizotte

It wasn’t until Sunday evening when I truly felt at home in the program and in myself. I found myself eating vegan butternut squash and mushroom enchiladas with a coach from Texas, a therapist from Australia, and an Ayahuasca guide from Lebanon. And at the time it felt completely normal- four peers and, dare I say, friends, enjoying a meal and each other’s company. But once back at my hotel, I found myself thinking, how did I get here? I saw the miracle for what it was. How many circumstances, good, bad or seemingly indifferent had to fall into place for me to find myself in that room at that time, with those people? How many circumstances had to occur for each other person to find themselves in the same place, eating with a socially awkward if extremely attractive man from Central California? And what kind of brilliant sanity did we experience just by being together? Taking all of that into consideration, I felt grateful that I had the opportunity to enjoy their company. I felt like I was in color along with them, and I didn’t feel the need to write more thank you notes. Because we are all unique in our weirdness, beautiful in our flaws, and perfect in our authentic selves. We are all a special kind of crazy, and we are all a miracle in our own right.

The final day I felt at home, and I truly saw my peers for the first time, all of us in color. Before I started the program, people would ask me what Transpersonal Psychology is and I would say, “hell I don’t know. That’s why I’m studying it.” Now, I still can’t articulate it except to say that it feels like home. It feels like exactly what I’m supposed to be learning, exactly when I’m supposed to be learning, it, surrounded by exactly the people I’m supposed to be with.

Driving back to my house, I found myself wishing that I had shed my protective layers earlier, but I realize that wouldn’t have ever happened, because that’s not who I am. I come to things at my own pace, and I accept that. Mono No Aware is a Japanese term which refers to the beauty of things passing. So instead of regretting what wasn’t, I choose to relish in what was, and am excited to return and I can’t wait see and experience my new friends again, because as David Byrne said, “home is where I want it to be” and I’ve found my home.

[1] Narcissistic Confabulation Dysmorphia almost certainly does not exist, but every disorder must start somewhere.

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dailyrecaps · 2 years

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Talked to dad. Package at his house. Text address 2nd time.

Finished 1st half vocabulary book.

Was going to rest 15min, but got up, no rest. Straight into preparing enchiladas until done.

Dishes. *Contemplated the upgrade for more balance- I cook, you cook. I folded your clothes, you fold mine. Everyone gets a daily turn at all the chores.

Ate, rootbeer.

Then laundry to dryer.

Clothes folded. *Hire out to free me up; I'd be doing? 1/2 brownie.

Napped.

Instead of settling for watching youtube vids- 2015 W.B. Letter

Other 1/2 brownie

Will to work; informs Patricia he's leaving ✔️

Bed by 10 :)

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gayonetta95 · 2 years

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Henry Cavill X Male Reader Part 3 of ???

Title: Master Chef

Summary: it is officially day three of you and Henry knowing and spending time with one another, Y/N invites superman himself to try out the food you learned cooking while growing up, will the big man like your food......

*Y/N is cooking and making both Enchiladas AND white rice with broccoli, shredded chicken and melted cheese in case Henry doesn't like one of them, a knock is hear at the door, now it's time for the judge to....well judge your plate

Y/N: hi henry come on in the food is almost ready

Henry: Mmmm smells good, what did you make

Y/N: well if i spoil it it won't be a surprise now would it, oh it's ready

*You bring out the food to the table and serve Henry his dish, you are a bit nervous of the big man not liking your food so you began to prepare for the worst......Dramatic looking ass

Henry: oh this is new, what is it

Y/N: this dish right here is white rice with chicken broccoli and cheese and well im sure you have had enchiladas before....right??

Henry:(smiling) yes i have but im sure not like yours

Y/N:(blushing) oh please, you are too kind. Oh um i don't know what you like to drink so i got us coke and Dr. Pepper

Henry:(smiling and laughing) i um much prefer drinking um a bit of champagne

Y/N: oh of course i um....let me just run to the store An......

Henry:(grabbing your wrist before you got up the table) no it's fine, in the end it's the thought that counts

Y/N: you sure, i mean had i known i would have had champagne....i just wanted to make feel um comfortable i guess

Henry:(smiling) im 100% sure and comfortable, now lets try this white rice with chicken, broccoli and cheese

*as Henry got atea spoonful of your white rice, his eyes began to widened

Y/N:(nervously) so um how is it and be honest too please

Henry: oh so you want me to be honest then huh...i guess prepare yourself because this dish........IS FUCKING AMAZING, MY GOODNESS....You sure this food with love didn't you

Y/N: are you bullshitting me right now

Henry: HA NO im serious i have NEVER tried this dish and it's DELICIOUS, but i as i can see i almost had you,you seemed really nervous

Y/N:well yeah i mean i didn't want my neighbor to be grossed out

Henry: not at all, niw if you don't mind ill serve myself up some more white rice with Enchiladas

*as both you and Henry ate, nightfall came so Henry wanted to stay a bit longer so he suggested on the two of you to watch any movie of your liking so you chose your favorite comedy movies....Scary Movie 1-3. You both managed to get through two movies but only managed to get through half of the third one. By now both you and Henry fell asleep through the movie, without you two realizing,your head was resting on his pecs while one of his arms was around you........

#henry cavill #henry cavill x male reader

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stressandstarvation · 3 years

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morning shift 1/5

breakfast was over night oats (45g of oats, teaspoon of honey, tablespoon of smooth peanut butter, a tablespoon of chia seeds, half a cup of almond milk) and peaches

morning tea I ate my sandwich because gluten free bread and vegan cheese doesn’t always keep great. Had relish, vegan sour cream, lettuce, vegan cheese, smoked chicken, capsicum and carrot

lunch I had a small mocha with almond milk and I ate a bit of ginger crunch at our morning meeting and a hazelnut cadbury rose at staff meeting

dinner was more enchiladas and Mac and cheese im so sick of eating it

then I had some ice cream. i am super full but my brain wanted something sweet

rating: not the best not the worst. I wanna binge so bad but am trying my hardest not to bc im physically so full

#food diary #cw disordered eating #anamia #anorecsick #not pr0 ana #ed bllog #just ed shit #tw ed thoughts #b1nge #an0r3xic #an0rexya

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hailhydra920 · 4 years

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That’s Not A House; That’s an Abandoned Shed Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter 1: Oh, I Wanna Kill Barnes

Summary: You and Bucky get sent on a mission together. You HATE Bucky and he hates you.

Warnings: None

You shoved clothes inside of your bag with anger. You were going on a mission with Bucky. That's right, Bucky! Of all the insufferable, it had to be him! Why couldn't you go with Steve?! Steve was so much nicer! You ripped a few shirts off some hangers and threw them in your bag.

"Barnes might be dead by the end of this." You growled.

Bucky wasn't happy about this mission either. He didn't want to go on a mission with you! Heck, he hated even being in the same room as you! Bucky grabbed some jeans from his drawer before tossing them in his bag. He grabbed a few knives (more like 10) and slipped a few on various places of his person, then put the rest in his bag. He looked for his knife sharpeners in his top drawer, only to find them not there. He frowned.

"I could've sworn I put them in here." He muttered. "Nat might've borrowed them. I'll ask her."

You grabbed some of your knives and did the same as Bucky. No doubt Bucky was bringing a whole suitcase of weapons. You held up his knife sharpeners and smiled.

"He'll be looking for these." You laughed before slipping them in your pocket. "Now where is my pepper gun?"

Okay, so Nat didn't have them. That only meant you did. Bucky saw that coming. Good thing he thought ahead and stole your pepper gun. Although, he was a bit wary of touching it because of what happened last time.

~Flashback~

"What's this?" Bucky asked holding up the tiny gun.

"Put it down, Barnes." You growled.

"I just wanna know how it works." He spat.

He started moving it in his hands, before accidentally shooting himself in the eyes. The pepper spray that emitted from the gun burned like the flames of heck. Bucky cursed before stumbling backward, dropping the gun, and yelled in pain.

"I told you to put it down." You said before walking toward him. "Let me see."

Bucky hissed. "Get away!"

"Fine. It's your own fault." You said grabbing you gun from the floor before walking away.

~End Flashback~

Bucky shivered at the memory. Bucky would never admit it, but it was entirely his fault. You both met at the Quinjet, glares and insults being shot at each other. Steve had unfortunately been caught in the crossfire.

"Can you guys just be civil for once?" Steve said before shaking his head.

~~~~~~~

"That's not a house; that's an abandoned shed." You said looking at the worn down "house" with disgust. "I have no doubt that a serial killer is in that house sleeping with 5 dead bodies."

Bucky scoffed. "Scared are you? What happened to the all tough Y/n?"

You glared at him. "I just don't want to die, okay? That place is practically falling apart!"

As if on cue, half the roof caved in. Huge clouds of dust and dirt rose into the air.

"Alright guys, be back in two weeks!" Steve called before flying off in a hurry.

"You get that half of the house." You said as Bucky grunted.

You and Bucky entered the house, quickly surveying the area. What you saw next made your heart stop.

"Bucky!" You squeaked. "There's a serial killer in the living room!"

Bucky hurried over to where you were, only to frown. There was a man, a long yellow beard attached to his ugly face, and surrounding him were cereal boxes. Each one had multiple stabs in them with cereal pooling out. Butter knives scattered on the floor.

"See! Serial killer!"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "That's a cereal killer."

"That's what I said. Serial killer!" You refuted.

Bucky rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. "Let's just get him out of here."

Bucky nudged the man with his boot, and the man stirred. He opened his eyes and gasped when he saw Bucky.

"Cereal Lord? Is that you? Have I finally killed enough cereal to please you?" The man asked wiping his face with his beard briefly. "Have I truly become a Cereal killer?"

"Can I kill him?" Bucky asked turning toward you. "He's obviously not okay."

"Look, dude, get out or we're gonna kill you." You said pulling out your pistol.

The man quickly got up, collecting his butter knives, before scurrying out the door.

"My hunch was right, there was a killer in here." You said as Bucky grunted.

You stared at Bucky unamused. "Is that your favorite thing to do now, grunt?"

Bucky growled this time as he pushed past you. "I gonna take a shower."

"Aren't you going to help me fix the other half of the house?" You asked.

"No." He said before closing the bathroom door.

You huffed. "Fine then. It's not like I need your help."

~~~~~~~

You wiped the sweat from your brow and dusted your pants off. You beamed at your work. The half you fixed looked better than the other half and thanks to your talent of nature, you were able to fix the house in a decent amount of time. You heard the bathroom door open and turned toward it with a glare.

Bucky walked out of the bathroom, no shirt on, sweat pants hanging on his legs. He was drying his hair while looking down with a white towel, ruffling it against his long wet locks, and you had to admit he looked pretty hot. No, you couldn't fall for him.

"How's it going?" Bucky asked, not looking up, as he was still drying his hair.

"Buck, wow, I didn't think you were still here, because, you know, you took THREE AND A HALF HOURS in the shower!" You said glaring daggers. "You sure you got everything clean?"

Bucky tossed his towel on the couch and smiled.

"Sorry, mom, I didn't think taking a long shower was a crime."

You scoffed. He was smirking and you knew he was not sorry.

"Whatever, Barnes. I fixed and cleaned the house while you were at your day spa, so I hope you're grateful."

"Wow, day spa was the best thing you could come up with? I thought you were better than, doll." He said emphasizing the doll.

"Look, can you just start dinner while I take a shower? I'm exhausted from the day." You said grabbing you clothes. "And for Pete's sake, get on a shirt!"

~~~~~~~

You walked out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and ready to eat.

"Wow, thirty minute shower. Nice." Bucky said as you grabbed a plate. "Well, thirty minutes and 47 seconds, but who's counting anyway?"

"You can keep time? Who knew?" You said putting an enchilada on your plate. "Thanks for dinner."

Bucky stumbled back dramatically and placed a hand on his chest. "Did you just thank me? Oh my gosh, I wish I would have gotten that on recording."

You rolled your eyes and took a seat at the table, Bucky not far behind you. You guys ate quietly, well, for the first 7 seconds.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look stunning under a dusty light bulb hanging from a rotting roof?" Bucky said before scooping a forkful on enchilada in his mouth.

"Can't say I have, Barnes."

"Well, you do. The dust particles floating around complement you quite nicely."

"Thanks." You said sarcastically. "And that musky smell that is so thick in the air must be radiating off you. As much as I do love disgusting smells, I really must say you need another shower. I guess you didn't wash everything."

Bucky chuckled. "You are a wonder, you know that, doll?"

"Yup." You said popping the "p" with a smile.

This was gonna be a long two weeks.

#bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #marvel fanfiction #humor #frenemies #bucky fandom

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wellpersonsblog · 3 years

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Best Healthy Walmart Snacks

Looking for the best healthy Walmart snacks? Here are some ideas for everything from chips, crackers and granola bars to protein and frozen snacks.

Hi friends!

We’re continuing our snack series with the best Walmart snacks. You can find the best Costco snacks here. Or for a more general list, check out 60+ Healthy Packaged Snacks for kids.

Walmart Best Snacks

So what are the best snacks at Walmart? As a Registered Dietitian and mom of 3, here are some general guidelines I try to follow and recommend:

I try to choose snacks that have at least 2g of both protein and fiber most of the time.

I focus on making sure snacks include protein so if I have a snack like crackers or cereal, I pair it with a protein like yogurt or turkey etc.

I try to limit added sugar to 6g or less whenever possible. Occasionally 7-8g, but snacks with 9+ grams of added sugar or more are more like treats than snacks in my opinion.

I check the sodium content but it doesn’t always make or break my choices. Remember that 140mg or less of sodium per serving is generally considered low sodium.

With that being said, here are some of the best Walmart healthy snacks, in my opinion. I’ve tried to include some name brands as well as some of their Great Value store brand.

Walmart Snacks Chips

If you’re looking for crunchy/salty snacks like chips and crackers, here are some ideas:

Ritz Toasted Pita Chips

Goya Plantain Chips

New York Style Bagel Crisps

Crunchmaster’s Multi-Seed Crackers

Great Value Vegetable Chip Mix

Terra Sweet Potato Chips

Orville Redenbacher’s Popcorn (made with avocado oil)

Great Value Thin Wheat Crackers

Great Value Woven Wheat Crackers

Late July Sea Salt Thin and Crispy Chips

Whisps Cheese Crisps

Simple Mills Almond Flour Crackers

Great Value Mountain Trail Mix

Great Value Shelled Pistachios (are any of their nuts!)

Triscuit Thin Crisps

Reminder to pair crackers and chips with some extra protein if possible!

Walmart Protein Snacks

If you need protein-based snacks:

Stonyfield Organic Kids yogurt cups

Stonyfield Organic Whole Milk Vanilla Yogurt

Great Value Plain Greek Yogurt (Walmart doesn’t have many good lower sugar yogurt options so an easy solution is to mix plain and flavored yogurt together to reduce the sugar content!)

Breakstone’s Cottage Doubles

Great Value Cheese Cubes

Frigo Combo Pack – Colby Jack cheese & turkey sticks

Chobani drinkable yogurt

Great Value frozen edamame

Lorissa’s Kitchen jerky

Great Value Hard Boiled Eggs

Horizon Organic shelf stable milk

Great Value cheese sticks

GogoSqueez Morning Smoothies

Oscar Mayer Natural turkey breast

Walmart Fruit Snacks

Ideas for snacks involving fruit:

Great Value Dried Apricots (or any other unsweetened dried fruit)

Great Value Triple Berry Blend frozen berries (mix with milk and spinach for a quick smoothie!

Great Value Banana Chips

Great Value Bursting Berry fruit pouches

Freshness Guaranteed Mild Guacamole (great with plantain chips!)

Wymans Just Fruit & Greek Yogurt Bites

Mamma Chia Squeeze

Great Value Unsweetened Applesauce

Great Value Diced Fruit in 100% juice

Remember fruit are a carb source so pair with protein or healthy fats for a more filling snack!

Walmart Granola Bar Snacks

Ideas for the best bars Walmart offers. Many of these contain nuts so if your school is nut-free you might need other options:

Nature’s Bakery Baked-Ins

Belvita Soft Baked Cookies (a little higher in added sugar but also have some protein and fiber)

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Date & Nut Bars (very similar to Larabars)

Happykid Bars

Bear Naked Granola (add to yogurt for a parfait!)

Safe & Fair Birthday Cake Granola (top allergen-free!)

KIND Dark Chocolate Chunk Bars

KIND Nut Butter Filled Snack Bars

KIND Peanut Butter Breakfast Bars

Kashi Chocolate Almond Sea Salt Bars

Larabar Minis

Simple Mills Dark Chocolate Almond Soft Baked Bars

RX Kids Bars

Here’s a list I made of Healthy Storebought Granola Bars for Kids.

Walmart Carb Snacks

Some healthy carb sources for snacks:

Cheerios

Dave’s Killer Bread Thin-Sliced

Dave’s Killer Bread Raisin’ The Roof

Thomas Whole Wheat English Muffins

Aladdin’s Small Pitas

Great Value Quick Oats (oatmeal or overnight oats make a great snack!

KIND Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal – if you want pre-flavored packets

Quaker Fruit & Cream – these are a little higher in sugar than I’d like but occasionally fine (I ate them all the time growing up

Nature’s Own 100% Whole Wheat Bread (for sandwiches, french toast etc)

Great Value Rice Squares – here are more Lower Sugar Cereals for Kids

Walmart Individual Snacks

At Walmart P3 snacks and other convenience snacks like them are readily available. While these are fine occasionally, I highly encourage you to make your own to save money. You can easily buy a bag of cheese cubes, some nuts and dried fruit, a box of crackers and a package of lunch meat and recreate all of these for much cheaper!

Walmart Frozen Snacks

If you are looking specifically for frozen snacks here a few ideas:

Ian’s Fish Sticks

Great Value Edamame

Amy’s Frozen Burritos/Enchiladas

Tyson Chicken Nuggets/Patties

Red’s Chicken & Cheddar Burritos (a little higher in sodium than I’d like)

Siete Almond Flour Tortillas (to make quesadillas or tacos)

Kodiak Power Flapjacks

Walmart Diabetic Snacks

And in case you’re looking for the best Walmart snacks for diabetics specifically? I wanted to share a few that might be chosen by my husband who is a type 1 diabetic:

Simple Mills Almond Crackers

Great Value Cheese sticks

Great Value Nuts

Jerky

Hard-boiled eggs

Turkey sandwiches

Crunchmaster crackers

Triscuit thin crisps

Orville Redenbacher’s popcorn

Simple Mills Soft Baked Bars

Whisps cheese crisps

Did you find any new ideas?

Enjoy! –Lindsay–

First found here: Best Healthy Walmart Snacks

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fanartsarahtregay · 3 years

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The Boys in Quarentine

Jamie on his own:

He probably wouldn't do well

He's a people person and isn't used to not seeing and talking to people every day

To fill the quiet, he plays music at all times- from his phone, laptop, on Spotify, iTunes, you name it

He also send Mason sooo many texts and he calls him a lot as well

That, or they Facetime for the entire day

No, that's not an exaggeration

If he were going for his graduate degree, he'd hate having online Zoom classes and there'd be a 50/50 chance he'd either get distracted by things in the room around him or get so absorbed in the class that it would be over in a second

If he got a job as a graphic designer, he'd adapt to working from home fairly quickly

With all his free-trapped-at-home time, he experiments with different art mediums to see what else he likes, what other techniques could help him achieve what he wants for projects, etc

The only problem

He sometimes gets hyper-focused on the new projects and will spend hours on it, completely forgetting about everything else

Yes, even food

Mason has learned the signs of days like this and is the only one who's able to snap Jamie out of it

It takes two phone calls going to voicemail before Jamie even hears it, and he answers on the third

When Mason doesn't get a text from Jamie in over 3 hours, he knows he's focused on his art, and he calls to make sure Jamie stops for water and food

Sometimes these calls take place at 11 or 12 at night when Jamie last ate at 1 or 2

With those calls, Mason's sad and worried expression always has Jamie stopping to eat, no matter how invested he was on the project

Overall, Jamie misses Mason like crazy and always says he can't wait to see him in person again

As soon as they're back together, Jamie bear hugs Mason and doesn't let go for at least five minutes

Mason on his own:

He would be fine

He's not big on interacting with people face to face, so being home all the time wouldn't affect him as much as it would Jamie

What gets to him most is not being able to go outside where he can walk around in the sun and fresh air

Unless he has a balcony, in which case he would spend most of his time on it

If he were in school for his graduate degree, he'd occupy himself with schoolwork and personal reading

His carefully organized layout slowly spreads to take up more and more of his apartment until work can be found in every single room

If he wasn't in school, the job he has wouldn't be able to be done at home, leaving him with hours of nothing to do for once in his life

Jamie's non-stop texts do help him fill his uneventful days

The biggest difference between before and after quarantine is his books

His shelves would fill quickly as he orders in new books to read

It's when he gets into the book he's reading that time passes quickly, and it's usually on those days that Jamie doesn't eat without Mason's attention to keep him tethered

Mason also orders puzzles online for him to stimulate his brain to keep himself from turning into a couch potato, but also because he likes the challenge

While he doesn't become a couch potato, Mason does beat every game he has, maxing out his high scores to unreasonable heights

With his time not sitting for games or reading, he tries to stay as active as possible

He can't go to the gym when it's closed, so he sets up a workout station in his living room

It has a lot of natural light from the windows and he likes the breeze when they're open

One thing he likes about working out from home is being close to his kitchen, where he can make smoothies and protein shakes

He also cooks more and starts baking

With every dish, he sends a picture to Jamie to comment on, most of which are drooling emojis and 'I WANT' texts

Not to brag, but he becomes a pretty good chef and once he and Jamie can hang out again, Jamie has him cook for him most days

The boys together:

Non. Stop. Cuddling.

Jamie's constantly draping himself over Mason, wallowing about not being allowed outside while Mason hugs him and kisses his cheeks

Jamie works on his art projects- either on his own or for his job- and shows them all to Mason for his appreciation and validation

Other mini projects that he does just 'for fun' he gives to Mason

Those conversations are usually just Jamie saying, "Here, I made this. It's yours now."

Jamie also talks Mason's ear off when they're in the same room

He can't help it

With no one else to see or talk to, Mason receives the brunt of Jamie's thoughts and ideas

That's okay because Jamie also gets talked at by Mason

Also because they love each other and love listening to the other talk about anything

They've gotten into the habit of stopping any and everything as soon as the other says, "Kiss?"

From there it ranges from quick kisses to full on make-out sessions

They rarely fight, but when they do, it's about something petty and small and they've made up before an hour is up

Usually it's about what to get from the designated weekly grocery runs

They take turns leaving the apartment and typically have a different set of lists

Jamie likes more snacks and treats to have throughout the day and wants cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc from the store while Mason insists they need full, flavoured meals like enchiladas and lasagne

They always compromise and get the other what he wants even after saying he won't

The way Jamie perks up when Mason pulls a box of Drumsticks from the grocery bag makes up for the argument they had before he left

And even though Jamie doesn't understand why Mason likes making different types of bread- a process he considers to be too long and boring- he still loves watching the little, satisfied smile Mason gets whenever he pulls his newest creation from the oven

#Fan Art #Sarah Tregay #Jamie Peterson #Mason Viveros #Jamie and Mason #2020 #covid 19 #quarentine #coronavirus #corona pandemic #global pandemics

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winryofresembool · 4 years

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 11

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Domestic moments, part 1

A/N: This chapter is the beginning of a few chapters long 'arc' where Leo and Calypso mainly just do domestic things such as cooking while they learn to know each other better. I know, why several chapters about cooking? Because I can, and because I wanted some fluff before some angst ensues (yes, some of that is coming soon too).

I hope you guys enjoy, and remember that I love hearing what you think!!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo

Words: 2277

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

Calypso often ate at the university cafeteria instead of her flat whenever Annabeth, Piper or some acquaintances from her history lectures joined her, but today everyone had been busy and she decided to make something herself. She quite enjoyed cooking but it was different to cook just for yourself compared to a bigger group of people. The packages grocery stores sold were often huge and eating the same leftovers several days in a row wasn’t something Calypso wanted to do constantly. This time, though, she considered asking Leo to join her. There was one ‘but’, though.

After the ‘therapy session’ and meeting Jo and Georgina, Calypso had felt a bit weird near Leo, but she didn’t understand - or want to acknowledge - why. She definitely didn’t hate him anymore, having realized there was much more under that snarky and carefree cover than what she had first thought. But she found herself wanting to avoid talking to him, a change that hadn’t been left unnoticed by Leo, who had tried to start a conversation with her several times in the past few days and only gotten short answers before she had come up with some excuse to leave.

What Calypso didn’t want to admit to herself was that the butterflies that she felt in her stomach when near this boy were all too familiar to her. Back when she had done online dating, because there was no way her dad would have let her go on actual dates on her own, she found herself crushing quite easily on the guys she chatted with, only to get disappointed each and every time. The last time had probably been the hardest. The guy, Percy, had genuinely seemed nice, respectful, and caring. They had even managed to organize a short meeting behind Calypso’s dad’s back, only for Percy to tell her that he was sorry but he had started realizing that he had feelings for a long time friend. Calypso did appreciate the honesty but she wished that Percy would have realized that a bit earlier instead of giving her false hope. After that experience she had quit online dating and decided that she would not let herself get hurt again. Especially not by her new flatmate. Things would get really awkward if they… no, she didn’t want to let herself even consider that option.

However, she didn’t think her avoidance tactic was working so the second best option was to simply try to get used to being as neutral as possible in Leo’s company. That’s why she finally decided to brace herself and ask Leo to join her for her cooking session. Knocking on his door, she shouted: “Valdez!” and soon it opened, revealing Leo in his work attire (oily overalls and grease on his cheek. See, Calypso, not attractive at all, she tried to tell herself). He gave her his annoying (cute) trademark lopsided grin and for one - just one - second Calypso forgot what she was supposed to ask him. When he continued looking at her questioningly, she finally blurted: “wannacomecookwithme?”

Leo’s eyebrows disappeared under his curly fringe.“What? Sorry, Sunshine, I have many talents but gibberish isn’t one of them.”

“Uh, would you want to come and cook with me? Also, why do you call me Sunshine?” she managed to ask a bit slower, blushing of embarrassment.

“Oh, I thought you usually eat at the university. But since you asked… I have to finish this one part before I can have a break,” Leo gestured at the stereos he was fixing. “But if you help me, I’ll get it done faster and then we can cook. And about that nickname,” he added cheekily, “clearly it’s because your presence warms me up like the sun.”

Calypso wasn’t sure if she should feel honored or offended. “Don’t try to mess with me, Valdez. That won’t work. But fine, I can help you as long as you don’t say things like that again.”

“Not sure I can promise that.” Leo waggled his eyebrows, causing Calypso to roll her eyes. “But I can try.”

“So…” Calypso said, starting to inspect Leo’s room. She hadn’t seen it that closely before, and she had to admit she was kind of curious. As she had expected, Leo wasn’t the cleanest of people. Sure, he had made his bed, and there wasn’t dirty laundry on the floor like she had half expected, but his but the area surrounding his workbench was a mess. The waste bin was overflowing with abandoned blueprints (some of them on the floor), there were bolts, nuts and nails everywhere Calypso turned her eyes to, and an oil stain on the floor that Leo had tried to rub clean but failed. “What can I do?”

“Uh,” Leo rubbed the back of his head. “My floor could probably use some cleaning. Can’t have Festus eat any of those.” He pointed at the fallen parts.

“When is he coming here again?” Calypso asked as she started picking up the nails.

“Not quite sure yet but Jo and Emmie are planning to visit a friend in another state soon so he needs someone to look after him while they’re gone.” Leo shrugged.

“Good to know. You know, I’d like to learn to know him better.”

“Oh? You would?” Leo asked, surprised.

“I’ve never had a lot of animals around me but I think I’d learn to like them if I spent some time with them,” Calypso confessed.

“In that case, it’s a date!” Leo said happily, not noticing that Calypso’s face went red because he was busy with his work.

“It’s a… what?”

Leo must have realized he had said something weird because his ears also started burning. “I… I meant with you and Festus, of course! You’re allowed to hang out with him as much as you want.”

“Right. Of course.” Calypso nodded, trying to look as calm as possible. Why was this so hard, she cursed to herself. They were only talking about Leo’s dog and even that seemed to make her act weird.

“Can I ask you something?” she broke the silence after a while. “What kind of food do you like?”

The question seemed to amuse Leo. “To be honest, all kinds. But I eat a lot of Mexican food that my mum used to make us. You know, the basics. Tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas, nachos… I love it all.

“Then you’re in luck because I was thinking of making tacos,” Calypso said, not taking her eyes off of the items she was picking.

“I like the sound of that!” Leo nodded approvingly. “I’m a taco sauce pro, just sayin’.”

“Is that so?” Calypso asked. “You’d better be good because I don’t eat just any taco sauce.”

“Picky one, are you? Well, don’t worry because Leo Valdez’ sauce supreme has been approved even by the principal of our university,” Leo said smugly.

“The what?” Calypso wasn’t sure if she had heard correctly.

“The principal,” Leo repeated. “He happens to be my friend Jason’s father. Jason and he don’t really communicate that much but the only time he visited us here in this flat I happened to be making tacos and of course he wanted to get to taste them, because who wouldn’t… and he didn’t hate them so it was definitely a win.”

“Oh. I see,” Calypso replied, unsure if she should be amused or not.

“But hey, in the name of solidarity, since we’re making Mexican food you could add something Greek into the mix so you won't be completely overshadowed by my awesome-sauce,” Leo said.

“Such confidence. You must be incredible,” Calypso said sarcastically and half expected Leo to say something like ‘heck yeah I am’ in return, but instead she noticed his smile had started fading a bit. Maybe, a thought occurred to her, he really wasn’t as confident as he made himself sound. Maybe the humor was his way to hide something. But what, she didn’t know yet.

“That’s what they say,” he finally answered but Calypso thought that if you paid attention to his tone he really didn’t sound as enthusiastic as a moment before.

“Truth to be told, I’m not that amazing at cooking Greek food,” Calypso admitted. “My mum and dad got separated around the time we moved to the USA and dad mostly ordered takeaway to our home, but I do know the basics. A Greek salad would be fine, right?”

Leo still seemed a bit distracted. “Uh. Oh. Right.”

“Okay, it’s a deal then.” Trying to think of something that would get Leo back to the usual cheerful self, she asked then: “Hey, do you think we could invite Piper and Jason over? I may have bought too many ingredients again so some extra eating help wouldn’t hurt. And I’d like to meet this Jason who used to live in my room.”

Leo seemed relieved by the change of topic. “Sure! Although you might regret it because Jason is quite a gluttony. He’s a decathlete so he spends his days practicing and he’s hungry a lot…”

“I think we can handle that,” Calypso laughed.

Leo claimed that the reason why the stereos he was trying to fix were not working was because someone had poured a drink on them at a party. Apparently he was very tempted to make them play ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ by Rick Astley nonstop instead of the songs the owner wanted to hear (“You can do that?” Calypso asked with surprise). Luckily, she managed to talk him out of it.

Calypso didn’t understand that much about the inner mechanics of the stereos so she was mainly giving Leo the tools he wanted while he worked, but she did find it pretty fascinating to watch. Leo was so different when he was working on his projects. He was more focused. Calmer (yet still fast and effective). He knew exactly what he needed to do and where everything went, and it all seemed so effortless, even though Calypso knew it was actually way more complicated than it seemed. In a way his determination to finish his project reminded her of herself when she decided to finish a piece of clothing or a carpet or whatever she wanted to make to forget…

Yet again Calypso started wondering what exactly Leo was hiding from her. She hoped that one day they’d trust each other enough that he’d be able to open up… and maybe she’d be able to open up too.

“Okay! Done!” Leo exclaimed, snapping Calypso out of her thoughts. He seemed happy about the result despite saying: “I still think these would be better with some Rick Astley, though.”

“I have to make a mental note to never break any of my machines if that’s how you want to treat them,” Calypso said.

“Trust me, the owner of these guys would deserve it. He’s an ass, I dunno how he made it to the university when his main goal is to throw parties every night.”

“And have you ever been to any of those parties?” Calypso asked, remembering Jo’s vague hints about Leo’s earlier bad habits.

“Once. It was not worth it. The chicks were pretty,” he noticed Calypso’s expression so he decided to change his approach, “uh, but it isn’t fun to be the only sober one there.”

“So, you don’t drink?” Calypso asked, not wanting to sound like she knew more than she should. “Not that it’s any of my business…”

“No, not anymore,” Leo admitted. “I… had it kinda rough before I moved to Jo and Emmie’s and I promised them I wouldn’t… And it’s a promise I am planning to keep. Besides, my ADHD and alcohol don’t mix well.”

Calypso realized it was the first time he mentioned his ADHD, which confirmed what she had already suspected. “Yeah. I understand. I don’t really care about that stuff myself.”

“Then I guess there’ll be two sober ones in case we ever go to a party together.” Leo smiled at her, but it wasn’t the usual mischievous grin, instead a much softer one. Calypso felt something weird in her stomach and a sudden urge to get any kind of physical contact with him, take his hand, touch his shoulder, that smudge on his face…

She had to shake his head to get rid of those thoughts, and that seemed to burst the weird bubble that had developed between them. Leo noticed it too, so he quickly said: “Um, I think we should test that this works. Don’t want Mr. Douche… I mean Dion to complain that I did a bad job.”

“Right,” Calypso said. “Anyway, I should probably go and get things prepared for the dinner. Will you contact Piper and Jason?”

“Will do. Any background music wishes?” Leo asked when Calypso was already out of the room.

“Anything as long as it’s not Never Gonna Give You Up,” Calypso joked, suddenly realizing that she had certainly started doing that more since moving in this flat.

“As you wish, Sunshine,” she heard the answer from Leo’s room. Soon a song she recognized from her childhood started playing. It was ‘Mermaid’ by a band called Train. She had loved all things sea related back then so it wasn’t a surprise that she was weirdly fond of that song too. Glad that Leo wasn’t seeing, she started jamming and humming the song quietly in the kitchen as she searched for the ingredients they’d be needing.

Thinking about the lyrics of the song, maybe her life really had started becoming more like a holiday lately. For various reasons, one of them possibly the curly haired mechanic next door.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #caleo uni au #my fics

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soysaucevictim · 4 years

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Week 2 & the 2020 DARETREE Event is done and dusted...

Dec. 5

I woke up after 1PM.

After some chatting and doing some dishes, I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 20 pike push-ups with EC. Tough and a bit sloppy, but good enough for me.

Second, Day 5 of the ‘20ACC. 3x5 tricep extensions, one super-set. Definitely tougher to manage after those push-ups.

Third, Day 7 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Lotsa kicking. Aerobic and worked up quite a sweat! I enjoyed myself and mixed up letting foot drop and doing balanced variations there of. Lunge+crosses weren’t quite as fun - because lunges. But overall, good experience!

Last, Day 5 of the FCP. Core Control Day. Level 3, no rest. Pretty breezy work, all told.

After updating my fit log and doing some browsing, I made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Corn & poblano chowder.It was pretty tasty - I mostly like the bulk and thick consistency to it. That part was comforting to eat. Don’t know how I feel about Old Bay seasoning blend, but there’s bits I appreciate from it (might be just the fact I’m not a huge fan of celery, especially if it’s too intense a note in a dish.)

Did some dishes and chatted a bit before writing up a timeline for the iZ!AU.

I went to bed a bit earlier than yesterday.

Dec. 6

I woke up before 11AM.

Spent time chatting and sharing a timeline of iZ!AU with friend.

Got my exercise squared away early too.

First, today’s DD. 50 shoulder taps with EC. Doable.

Second, Day 6 of the ‘20ACC. 3x6 jumping lunges, one super-set. Again, debated on breaking it up, but chose not to. Pretty aerobic and high impact. But I dod my best to be mindful of how I was executing it.

Third, Day 8 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. For exercise transitions - I did plank walk-out/ins instead of jumps. Did maintain the plank for the shoulder taps > push-ups > raised leg push-ups. Push-ups were a bit sloppy and I did feel a bit of built up fatigue, but I’m happy it was just 5 sets of that.

Last, Day 6 of the FCP. 50 squats, done in one go. Pretty manageable work, definitely well within my condition.

Spent some time chatting and watching the third Back Too The Future movie . Then spent rest of night on the usual fair.

I went to bed a bit earlier than yesterday.

Dec. 7

I woke up after noon.

Spent a bit of time writing an e-mail about my jury summons and then browsing a bit before today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ tricep dip hold with EC. Watching DWIT was helpful. Did note back pressing against chair increasingly after the first minute. But I did my best to keep the position for the full duration. Intense exercise.

Second, Day 7 of the ‘20ACC. 3x7 push-ups, one super-set. I thought about breaking it up as directed, more just to put more emphasis on my form. But then I just wanted to get it done fairly quickly & knew I could knock out 21 in one pop pretty easily (if somewhat sloppy, but what else is new).

Third, Day 9 of the FhP. Ab Day. Level 3, 1‘ rest. I feel like I could’ve shortened the rest periods a bit more than that - but ah well. It was overall very manageable and fun. I do so love sit-up punches! =w=

Fourth, Day 7 of the FCP. Endurance Day. Managed Level 3 by the skin of my teeth. Had some doubts I could go for whole 12 minutes keeping the arms up and moving. They did droop from fatigue and my pace had to slow to be able to sustain things. Watching DWIT/SaSi is always a great distraction for brutal endurance work. My arms = dead. :,D

Last, I started getting in reps for my ornament on the DARETREE, this year. After some debate, I chose to work toward an emerald one. That involved 1k jumping jacks. In less than an hour, I did half of it in 5 sets of 100. Was pretty blissed afterwards - despite my calves complaining a bit about the load.

Made dinner and spent rest of night on the usual.

I went to bed obscenely late, Didn’t anticipate a mistake I made would mean i was not going to have much sleep to work with tomorrow.

Dec. 8

I woke up a bit after 11AM, to the sound of a car honking outside.

I quickly realized I miss-scheduled a trip reservation this week - it was supposed to be for Wednesday (though I would have to cancel that because I had a jury summons on my lap.) Anyways - decided to just go with the driver’s intended route. Spent some time to go grab some convenience store snacks and waited to get returned home.

Pretty much once I got back home, I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ raised leg hold with EC (supine). Deep breathing was helpful. But neck strain happened predictably enough - not so fun.

Second, Day 8 of the ‘20ACC. 3x8 lunges, one super-set. Manageable.

Third, Day 10 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. It was pretty funny rewatching FWSA as background noise - chuckled a bit while I was doing my punches/kicks/strikes. Definitely made that much more fun (and combat work is already fun.)

Fourth, Day 8 of the FCP. Cardio Day. Level 3, no rest. Nice low impact work. Energy levels were also happy with the relative chillness of this workout.

Last, I finished getting in reps for my ornament on the DARETREE, this year. I wound up approaching it the same way/pace as yesterday. Definitely a lot harder, given how exhausted I was getting. (I was watching POF again during this part of things.)

Chatted a bit before doing some dishes, taking a shower, and organizing stuff (bills/etc..I basically had to drag myself to get through all that - I was so exhausted. (Learning that my brother had a person in his circle test positive for COVID was also peachy. Brother scheduled for a test for himself later this week.)

I managed to get to bed in the green zone, tonight. I just hit my wall at that point.

Dec. 9

I woke up after 9AM.

I was pretty agitated on Twitter and in my chatting this morning over the Jury summons. Once at the courthouse though, I learned that I was no longer needed to be present. That was a relief.

First, today’s DD. 40 bridge taps with EC. This was pretty manageable, just happy the jury summons issue appears to be resolved. Mostly.

Second, Day 9 of the ‘20ACC. 3x9 calf raises, one super-set. Fairly breezy work. Calves were pretty okay after all those jumping jacks. Achilles and knee needed a bit of TLC, but doable.

Third, Day 11 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. No plank jump-ins/outs. My sore delts made things a bit more challenging to get through. Still doable, might’ve gotten away with shortening the rest periods a bit more, but I just decided to commit to that.

Last, Day 9 of the FCP. 3′ wall-sit, managed it in one go. I decided to rewatch Embarrassing Phases to distract myself from my thighs screaming at me.

After chatting and whatnot, I made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Tex-Mex beef & poblano enchiladas. I thought it was just okay. Lack of saucy consistency/binding in the filling gave things a dryness (especially on reheat in the cases of dad and brother’s portions - they ate later than me.)

After some more of the usual - I felt inspired again to get more writing done (iZ!Prinxiety stuff, friggin’ dorks.)

Back to getting to bed in the red zone...

Dec. 10

I woke up after 10AM.

After a bit of the usual, did today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 lunge step-ups with EC (20/20). Manageable work.

Second, Day 10 of the ‘20ACC. 3x10 wide legged squats, one super-set. Did contemplate on breaking it up, but eh, this was very

Third, Day 12 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Back and core work - bridges were more fun than the planks, but doable. Did think i could’ve extended my counts a bit more. But nevertheless, reasonably challenging!

Last, Day 10 of the FCP. Agility Day. Level 3, no rest. I do so enjoy bouncing/hopping stuff and it was fun shifting into each exercise with continued momentum. I only stopped in between sets long enough to markdown completed sets.

Spent rest of night chatting, browsing, and making soup for dinner. I did also get some writing done too.

I got to bed around the same time as yesterday.

Dec. 11

I woke up after 11AM.

After a bit of browsing, listening to music, dog grooming, and getting dishes taken care of - I did today’‘s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 1′ chest squeeze with EC. Arms definitely got to trembling throughout this hold. Did try to mind how much recruitment was happening so I wouldn’t pull something. Mission successful.

Second, Day 11 of the ‘20ACC. 3x11 up/down dogs, 30″ rest. Finally met a day of this challenge that I couldn’t get through in one superset - this pacing//load was tough enough as it is. Got pretty bushed.

Last, Day 11 of the FCP. Tendon Strengthening Day. No sets. Just about manageable, took a bit of digging though.

I spent rest of night updating my logs, chatting, configuring computer stuff, browsing stuff.... and binge-watching Season 2 of The Umbrella Academy. (I enjoyed it!)

Went to bed obscenely late because of that.

#adventures with fitness #adventures with hello fresh #covid mention/#(so far my immediate circle/family are ok - just we had a potential means of exposure to investigate/mind)#(was too overtired yesterday to post ithis update then

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pvccblog · 4 years

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Spam Side Right Sunday!

Hello everyone, we had a super day today! We started the day off right with a breakfast of champions - Spam, eggs and rice!

Then we headed over to Community of Grace Church for a full house Sunday service! It has been a blessing and a true honor to be a part of seeing and experiencing what God has been doing here over the years. The music was full of energy and Brody gave a great sermon as they are studying the book of 1 John. It was fun to meet new people and reconnect with old friends.

After church we headed back to the house for lunch. We had some extra helpers today as we made some signs for canvassing the neighborhood. We all went out together and held up the signs at an intersection and passed out fliers. We got a great response from most of the drivers!

Then (because our day wasn’t full of enough eating), we had an amazing chicken enchilada dinner thanks to Grayce! We sang a couple worship songs together and prayed together before heading out to BARF Night.

BARF Night was stupendous! This particular BARF Night was a bit “undercover” because we didn’t really advertise it. Peeps showed up! Dennis, Kylie and Grayce led some worship after and Isaiah shared a bit of his testimony (to be continued later in the week.

We were once again overwhelmed with love for these people, this town, this community. At our family time afterwards, we ate more enchiladas (of course) and shared some meaningful experiences we’ve had over the years, tonight included. At the end of family time, the Browns and Mr Bill showed up! Our team is now complete! We are looking forward to a full day of ministry tomorrow as we begin our sports camp!

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wantstoflyafraidtofall · 4 years

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Chapter 2: New Old Thoughts

***TRIGGER WARNING*** Mentions of homophobia/homophobic language and past self harm

---

Dean wakes up in a cold sweat yet again. The black shadow he saw thought he saw plagued his dreams every night since he's been there. Which was odd. He usually doesn't dream at all.

He rolled out of bed and peeled off his boxers and shirt, both damp with sweat, and turned on the shower.

The warm water -- with amazing water pressure, dare he say -- soothed his nerves. He would have to search up if frequent nightmares were normal for people moving into new houses later.

After getting dried off and dressed, Dean went downstairs and turned on his old coffee machine. He watched the dark coffee drip down into the pot.

The deadline for unpacking really helped speed up the whole process and the amount of sleep he was getting helped to.

By what Sam had said about Cas, he sounds ok. Just a quiet guy who's fresh out of college and needs a place to stay for a bit.

Dean had finished unpacking the rest of the boxes yesterday. He had saved the library for last and the whole time his knee was a bitch. But he had to say, now that it’s done, It looks really nice.

He poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot and went out into the large, mostly empty sunroom. He was going to have to get some furniture to fill all the floor space so they could sit and read or watch TV in here. Maybe a bean bag and a couch.

The morning sun shone brightly through the windows of the room, casting soft shadows in corners and the shelves. The backyard was really nice and big but over grown. The stones in the fire pit had weeds growing out the cracks and the fish pond would kill any fish that would dare swim in it. The grass was almost knee length and would be a complete bitch to mow. Maybe he could get Cas to do it. Complain about his knee hurting or something.

Dean went back in the kitchen and poured himself a second cup of coffee. He checked his watch, 9:34am. Sam had told him Cas would be there around 10:30, which left Dean almost a full hour to do whatever he wanted.

He does enjoy his time alone but is quite excited for a housemate. He would never admit it to anyone but the house was getting a bit lonely and now that he has everything unpacked, he would guess it would be boring as well.

Bubbles covered Dean's hands as he washed the few dishes remaining in the sink. He wanted to make a good first impression on Cas by having the house clean and was using it as a pass time to cool his nerves.

He’d just put the last plate in the cabinet when the doorbell rang. Dean quickly walked over to the door, running his fingers through his hair before opening it.

Dean was surprised at the man he saw standing outside. He was wearing a tan trench coat over an ill fitting suit with a messily done blue tie. His hair was dark and messy, as if he had just rolled out of bed. A 5 o’clock shadow adorned his sharp jaw. Dean’s eyes moved up his face, and met a pair of eyes that were more blue than the deepest parts of a sunny sky.

Cas cleared his throat before asking, “Are you Dean Winchester?”

Man, that voice . It was deep and sounded as if he had been gurgling gravel every day since he was 12. Dean quit his staring and smiled at Cas.

“Yup, that's me,” Dean beamed, “And you must be Cas.”

Cas squinted a little harder and tilted his head slightly to the side at the use of the nickname.

Dean took a step back, opening the door wide. “Come on in, you have 3 choices in rooms but I recommend up the left stairs at the end of the hall.”

“Thank you.” Cas said as he passed Dean and began walking towards the stairs, his suitcase rolling behind him. The man glanced around as he walked, carefully observing the wooden structure of the house.

Dean closed the door and went into the library and grabbed Soul Enchilada off his shelf of favorites. He laid out on an old love-seat in front of one of the windows and began to try and read.

He read a few lines before starting over. His mind was wandering elsewhere, to his handsome new housemate that would be living with him for who knows how long, how that deep, rumbly voice had said his name earlier, eyes of azure, streaked with cruelan and sky blue.

He thought back to how when he met those eyes, they seemed to stare deep into his soul. The small twinge of annoyance when Dean had used the nickname ‘Cas’ and how he had tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, his plush, lightly chapped lips barely parted. They looked so soft, so kissable. It would have been so easy to have just- NO.

Dean caught his slipping thoughts. Internally scolding himself for not only falling for his new housemate, but a guy.

After closing the book and placing it back on the shelf, Dean went upstairs to his room, into the bathroom, and locked the door behind him. He lifted his arms in front of him, using his right hand he nudged the sleeve of his flannel back and felt his thumb drag over the small, criss-crossing scars on his forearm.

He released a shuddering breath. He is such a disappointment to his father. It was wrong for him to love another guy and no matter what he did he couldn't stop. No matter how many times Dad had taken out his anger on his “disgusting faggot of a son” he couldn't stop the thoughts.

Dean pulled his sleeve back down and looked into his own green eyes in the mirror. He could almost hear Sam's voice saying it with him as he whispered to himself, “Dad was a bastard and a terrible father. You can love whoever you want, Dean, It’s ok.”

Dean had been so careful to hide the scars from Sammy, but one day at Bobby’s place he had his sleeves pulled up to his elbows so he had better access inside the car and little, 13 year-old Sam saw the scars and asked what they were about.

It wasn't until a few months before Dean was leaving for the military that he had told Sam why he had those scars. And Sam just hugged him and told him that it was ok and that he would always love him. Damn, he loves that kid.

Dean sighed. No hitting on hot roommate dude. He could be straight and Dean isn't going to 1) Make him uncomfortable while he stays here, and 2) Get in a relationship with… well, anyone. Not like anyone wants to be in a relationship with someone as broken as him anyway.

When Dean made his way back downstairs, he saw Cas standing in the library examining the books with curiosity.

“Hey Cas,” The sound of Dean’s voice caused the man to turn towards him, “I'm going to go on a grocery run. Is there anything you want?”

He stared at Dean for a moment before replying, “The ingredients for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is all, Thanks.”

Dean chuckled, “You know, you're out of college now, you can eat some actual food.”

“I'm not a good cook in the slightest and I'm sure I will like some of the stuff you buy.”

“K then, see you later.” Dean grumbled, grabbing his keys and closing the heavy front door hard behind him.

He walked down the steps and started Baby, Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive pouring out the speakers. Dean turned up the music and drove down the driveway.

The trip to the store was short and uneventful. He grabbed the stuff Cas asked for along with some stuff to make dinner for the next week(He also got some greens because Sammy would give him another 3 hour lecture on his diet if he didn’t).

Kevin was working again today, somehow looking even more bored than last time. He scanned Dean's groceries while Dean asked about what classes he was taking.

Kevin had told him he was going to be a freshman and was studying computer sciences so he could make enough money to support himself and help support his mom.

Dean said goodbye to Kevin and loaded his groceries into Baby's trunk. The ride home was smooth and fast. Cas was nowhere in sight when he got home and Dean guessed he was probably in his room.

After unloading all the groceries, Dean pulled out two plates and began making lunch. He decided to keep it simple with some PB&Js and some potato chips. He put Cas’s plate on the island with a glass of water and made his way up the stairs to his door.

He knocked on the wood. “Hey Cas, I made some lunch for ya. It’s in the kitchen if you want it.”

There was no reply but he heard a faint shuffle of movement on the other side of the door. Dean went back downstairs and took his plate outside to the small shed in the backyard. The door was unlocked and swung open when Dean pushed.

Inside there was an old workbench pushed against the back wall. Gardening tools hung on hooks drilled into the wall and a slightly rusty lawn mower sat in the corner. He brushed some dust off the workbench and placed his lunch on the wood before checking out the mower.

It looked functional but in need of some repairs. Nothing that Dean couldn't fix himself with the right tools. He checked the drawers of the workbench and found the things he needed to fix the mower and began to work, eating his sandwich as he did.

Dean was so focused on sharpening the lawn mowers blades that he didn't hear Cas’s footsteps approaching from behind.

“Dean?” Cas called?

Dean jumped, startled by the sudden noise.

“Sorry for startling you Dean. I wanted to thank you for lunch.”

“Yeah, no problem buddy.” Dean replied, “I'm making chicken for dinner tonight if that's good with you.”

“Yes that's fine. Thank you.”

Cas left and Dean finished sharpening the lawn mower blades, leaving them on the workbench to attach tomorrow. He picked up his empty plate and headed back inside and dropped it in the sink.

Dean took a package of chicken breasts out of the fridge and placed them in a bowl. About 10 minutes later, the chicken was breaded and in the oven and he began to prepare the potato salad.

He loved to cook. When he was young, his father would drag Sammy and him from motel to motel. All they ate was take out or greasy diner food. Dean does love some good greasy burger and fries and a beer every once in a while but nice home cooked meals were always better.

Once Bobby took them away from John and his abusive parenting style, Dean learned to cook his own food in an actual kitchen. He would wake up early to make breakfast and insist on making lunch and dinner as well.

Dean pulled the chicken out of the oven and set some plates on the counter. He jogged up the stairs to Cas’s door, careful to be light on his bad knee, and knocked.

“Dinners ready!” He said before making his way back to the kitchen and filling up his plate with potato salad and sweet corn. He could hear Cas enter the kitchen and grab the other plate.

“It looks great, Dean,” Cas observed, “Thanks again.”

Dean set his plate down on the table and grabbed some cups from the cabinet before replying, “Yeah, it’s no problem, really. Do you want anything to drink?”

“Just water please. I haven't had anyone cook a proper meal for me since high school and I could never make one for myself due to my inability not to burn the food.”

Dean chuckled, “After my mom passed I didn't get a good meal till I was around 15, and those I would make myself.”

Cas stared at him, “Oh, I’m sorry.” He took the water Dean held out to him.

“Nah man, it’s fine. It was a long time ago.”

They continued to eat in silence for a while till Cas asked Dean, “You were only given 3 days notice that I was coming, yet you have the entire house unpacked and cleaned.”

“I, uh, didn’t sleep much. I wasn’t sleeping well so I made the best of a bad situation and used the time I was awake to finish unpacking.”

They both finished their meal in silence. Dean placed his dishes in the sink and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He sat back down at the table and looked over at Cas.

“So, tell me a bit about yourself.”

Cas’s blue eyes meet Deans. “I am 23 years old. I have an English major and plan on becoming a journalist. I have 6 siblings, 4 brothers and 2 sisters. I grew up in Colorado but moved to California for college, where I met your brother.”

“Hold on. You have 6 Siblings?” Dean gaped

“Yes, Dean. Micheal, Lucifer, Uriel, Gabriel, and Naomi are older and Anna is younger than me.”

“Man sibling rivalry must have been intense.”

“Our arguments were like war backed with all of heaven's wrath.”

Dean bursted out in laughter at that and took another drink of his beer. Cas stared at him with that adorable little head tilt squinting at him as if confused by Dean laughter.

“What about you?” Cas asked

Dean stopped laughing and looked at Cas, “My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women,”Cas stared at him for a moment before Dean continued, “My mom passed when I was 4. I lived with my Dad if you could call what we did living for about 10 years until I was taken in by Bobby and Ellen. I worked as a mechanic with Bobby while Sam went to college until I decided to go to the military. I was there for 5 years until my knee got messed up and I was sent home.”

“Sorry, that must be horrible.”

“Nah man, it's fine. You get used to it and move on.”

“Is excessive drinking part of moving on?”

Dean stopped smiling and looked away from Cas. They sat in silence for a moment before Dean said, “Well I'm a bit tired, gonna head to bed.”

“Ok, Goodnight, Dean. I will clean up.”

He stood and left the kitchen. He was looking angrily at the ground in front of him as he went up the stairs. He didn't look up until he heard a quiet hissing in front of him.

The blood rushed out of his face and fear coiled in his stomach. It was back. The dark shadow was standing in the middle of the balcony. Dean couldn't get his legs to move. He was stuck. The shadow began to slowly glide towards him, reaching out a long arm-like appendage. He wanted to shout, to cry out for help but his mouth was just as stuck as his legs.

A rush of frigid air washed over him as it drew nearer. The black tendrils of its translucent arm reaching to his side, like it was going to push him over the railing.

“Dean, do you have any tupperware for the extra food?” Cas called from the kitchen.

Dean blinked and the shadow was gone. He shivered as the air began to warm up around him. Dean cleared his throat before replying “In the drawer by the fridge.” He ignored the slight shake in his voice.

When he tried to take a step forward, his feet moved like nothing had happened just seconds before. Dean went into his room and locked the door behind him.

Sleep. That's what he needs. He's just tired and that's making him see things. Everything will be fine tomorrow.

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