#at no point did no one say 'wait this doesn't make much sense' 😭

[hokkienmee]

drop is insane because they have Osada Takuro (born in 1989, 34 years old) and Hosoda Kanata (born in 2001, 21 years old) play middle school students 😭 and expect you not to notice the age gap

[random-twst-things]

The Sweet Painter of Twisted things (Pt. 1)

Hi annon! Love the concept. It's no bother at all, I do love to write after all!! Ty for the request and I apologize for taking so long 😭✨🍬 (I hope you like it!)

Characters involved: Riddle, Leona, Azul pt.1 (Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus pt.2)

Pairings: Riddle, Leona, Azul pt 1 (Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Idia, Malleus x Female reader pt.2) (Separate)

Warnings: Mentions of eerie/gory paintings

Word count: 1,630

Notes: you know what? I'm just gonna post it now and finish the rest in a different post, I don't want y'all to be kept waiting any longer 😭✨🍬

More notes: I'll be posting Pt.2 whenever I have time! I will say though, I have no idea how to write for some of the characters in Pt.2 😀✨🍬

When you said you painted and wished to show him your art, Riddle had to admit he was a tad bit (a lot) excited to see

So, when you showed him your art he was absolutely bewildered.

You, the sweetest person he has ever had the chance in meeting, paints things that could cause nightmares.

Obviously, he isn't going to say that aloud, he has manners, but dear seven, how unexpected it was for him.

He's seen art before. He's been to museums by his mother to teach him strictly of the arts and the "rules" she put in place for them to determine how well a painting is.

It's been years since his mother taught him such things, and she only did it so often, and after time, those rules of art set by his mother have dwindled.

He's been able to go to museums before with Trey as a way to calm down when things are too much. Luckily, Trey was able to explain to Riddle how there are many forms of art and how it art doesn't necessarily have rules itself.

So it's safe to say he's a bit more well-versed in paintings now, even though he still finds it a bit difficult when there's no rules to follow (a habit hard to get rid of)

Now, his reaction all depends on what painting and image your showing him

He will ask you questions about why you would paint such uncanny things such as:

Why did you paint this? What caused you to begin painting such eerie things? What Inspiration were you given to paint this particular piece?

And many more questions about technique and practical things.

He can't say that he's a fan of these types of paintings, but he can say that he thinks you're very talented to be able to make such paintings

He'll praise how well done or real your painting(s) looks.

He's going to be a bit concerned about you, though, and he shows that by (trying to) subtly asking if you're okay

"What gave you the inspiration to draw this?" Riddle asks, the worry in his tone being quite evident even through his attempts in hiding it. "Have you witnessed such things for inspiration?" He asks again, his voice laced with even more worry than before.

"What? No!" You stand up from your seat to get closer to Riddle. "It's not like that," you laugh lightly, shaking your hands in the air. "I just happened to see a rotting piece of meat in the cafeteria kitchen one time while passing by."

Riddle breathes a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding in. Bro was stressing and worrying.

I say this in the nicest way possible to us all, but this man does not care but-!

Leona doesn't care in a sense like "I wanna show you something!" "Alright hurry it up and show me".

Maybe he's a bit smug that you're showing him something you like to do.

Anyways, when you said you wanted to show him your painting(s) he was being smug.

He didn't have any set expectations to what type of things you painted or what your style was.

Him seeing the eerie or gory painting didn't surprise him as much as Riddle either.

He doesn't have much to say, but this guy is still smug and is definitely showing it now.

Why? The guys got weird motives and definitions of respect and pride so we'll never know.

His does wonder how you acquired such Inspiration to paint like this.

He's not too curious about it to the point where he'll try to find out or becomes worried.

Again, he is smug and prideful but it's for you

He feels prideful FOR you. He's smug about you being able to paint such gory or eerie things FOR you.

(Bros so smitten with you)

You set your canvas/notebook down carefully against one of the plants nearby, careful not to get it dirty or damaged.

Leona lays there, back towards you, unbothered under the shade of a plant, but not for long as you bring your finger near his cheek and begin to poke.

Poke.

Poke.

PokePokePokePokePokePokePoke.

Leona swats your hand away, but not harshly. His tail swings left to right faster then he was asleep, another sign he's awake.

He looks at you, irked that you disturbed his so-called much needed nap. He glares at you, but his eyes lack the malice in them to even consider it threatening. You look at him innocently, hands behind your back as to show it wasn't you. (He knows better, only you would ever try to wake him up like that)

He sighs deeply. "What is it herbivore?" He asks as he shifts slightly to get into a more comfortable position to get a better view of you. You turn your body slightly to grab the canvas you set down behind you, careful not to accidentally show Leona just yet. "I wanna show you something," you beam, you're more excited then you thought you'd be showing him, for the first time, your most recent painting.

Leona's tail begins to swish even faster, thumping against the leaves of the plants nearby. His tail gives away that his curiosity has been piqued. Yet his face remains unchanged, besides the slight quirk of his eyebrow in questioning.

You turn the canvas around for Leona to see.

And there it is

The smirk

The smug

The eyes of pride *sound effects*

His smirk seems to widen even more as he looks at the painting and then back at you. "Looks nice herbivore, ya got anymore?"

You excitedly nod your head, "yeah, I do. Wanna see them?", you ask, gripping your painting, even more excited then before to show him.

Leona nods his head languidly while slowly closing his eyes, "sure, but after I finish this nap", he brings his arms down and begins to get comfortable. He softly pats his stomach, "Come, sleep".

Azul knows you paint, he knows it's been a hobby of yours for a while now.

How does he know? Doesn't matter. Does he know what exactly the contents of your paintings are? No

His curiosity has been eating away at him. He was so very curious on what his darling was capable of

So, when you first told him that you wished to show him your paintings, he was elated. His curiosity will finally be quelled.

He may or may not have a set expectations of what you paint. Something sweet, something calm or maybe something like he'd find at a museum of old paintings.

What he saw was the complete opposite to say the least.

He's not disappointed, no, he's just shocked.

He's amazed. He's taken aback. He's a lot of emotions.

.....would you be willing to, perhaps, sell these paintings? Many people out there would be willing to buy, and the profits would be even and-

Old habits die hard, I suppose 🤷🏽‍♀️

You led Azul by the hand to your room/drawing room, much slower than he would like as he wished to see your paintings as soon as possible.

"Azul, i can feel you twitching in anticipation just by holding your hand," you laughed lightly. He sighed, bringing his free hand to his temple to calm his nerves. "I'm sorry, dear, but it feels as if you're walking slower just to build up anticipation," "Maaaybeee~". Azul chuckles at your antics.

Finally, after Azuls definition of agonizing seconds. He visibly relaxed as he saw the covered canvas. "My, you really know how to keep me on my toes", ",I most certainly do". You left go of his hand and stand next to the covered canvas. "Ready?", you put your hands on the sheet. Azul held his breath and nodded.

You clench the cover and quickly pull it off. You turn to face Azul to gouge his reaction. That reaction was him frozen in place, still holding his breath (you'd begun to think how he still hasn't passed out) "Azul?" You try to call out to him.

He slowly walks up to your painting, still holding his breath. He reaches out and touches the edges of the canvas delicately, scared he we're to break it if he put too much pressure. You watch his careful movements. You watch as his eyes rake over your painting as if he could take the painting and store it into his memory box. "Azul?" You try calling out again, only this time he responds.

He let's out a shaky breath, "it looks -" he turns his head to fade you. "It looks magnificent, dear," his words were barely above a whisper. You stand there absolutely frozen and shocked. Nobody has ever quite thought this kind of painting would be 'magnificent' before.

"Really?" He turns his head back at the painting."Yes, the detail is vert intricate, and it feels so eerie. It's as if you were truly there." You stare at him bewildered, mouth slightly agape.

He puts his hand on his chin in a thinking position. The gears turn in his head. He turns to face you so quickly that you'd think he'd have snapped his neck on accident. "Have you ever considered selling these?" He asks, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Sell them?... No, I never really thought of that." You bring your fingers to your chin, now thinking as well. "Well, I'll say many would be lining up the door to buy these wonderful paintings!""Really?"

"Yes! With such talent and my business skills, we could -" and there goes the business man into his spiral of possibilities.

[nahoyasboyfriend]

Obedience & punishment

a/n: baby's first angst fic and my first time writing kit. hopefully this isn't too bad 😭 I tried.

warning: I don't think there's anything besides caning.

word count: 1.6k

sister mary had changed after she took over briarcliff. she wasn't the meek girl you'd seen from afar. She was cruel, outspoken, and authoritative. you happened to be the one chosen to do her bidding. so when she unexpectedly asked you to go fetch kit walker, it made you wonder what she wanted from him.

“if I may ask, can I know what you need him for?” you mumble, keeping your voice measured.

she glances at you, mouth flattening into a thin line, and then tersely replied, “he’s in trouble.”

nodding, you don't press it any further, and scurry off to go find him. you don't know why he's in trouble. you haven't heard any rumors about what he could've done, and nobody mentioned anything until now. you hadn't spent any personal time with him, but he seemed nice, or at least as nice as you could be stuck in here. he was cordial the few times the two of your paths crossed, and it was surprising that such a mild mannered man could do the horrible things he did.

surveying the bleak common room, your eyes hone in on him. even from afar you see how the asylum was wearing down on him. he was staring off into the distance, wholly out of touch with the real world. his spirit had dulled, emptiness filling the void where ardent desire to be free once burned. your heart aches simply looking at his despondent form. his eyes had grown heavy bags underneath them, his lips chapped. he looked a mess. you edged closer, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder, but he noticed you before you could, flinching away. it was a justified reaction so you didn't acknowledge it, “I need you to come with me.”

he eyes you cautiously, chewing on his bottom lip, “why?”

you give a weak shrug, “sister mary asked for you.”

it takes a moment for him to get up, but eventually he slowly rises from his seat. your eyes follow him up until he's standing in front of you. then you turn around and head straight to her office. she doesn't appreciate waiting. occasionally, you peek behind you to see if he's still there, feeling a sense of relief wash over you when you do.

once you reach her door, you shoot one more cursory glance his way before knocking. you hear a muffled voice, that you assume is telling you to come in so you do. you push the door open, holding it so kit can slip by. you go to leave, but you hear her say, “no, stay. I need you to do something.”

rather hesitantly, you follow him in, letting the door fall shut behind you. she gets up out of her seat, walking around to lean on the desk. the tension kills you, makes an aching pit in your stomach. it makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.

“confess,” she proclaims. he looks confused like he's unaware of what she's questioning him about.

“admit that you murdered those women,” she asserts, crossing her arms and cocking her head.

“I didn't do it,” he snaps, like he’s repeated many times before. you've heard those words so much they've started to become blurry. a muddled heap of truth and lies. it doesn't matter if it's true. nothing they say really matters in briarcliff but they say it anyway. usually because it's what they want to hear, what they need to believe to survive in this place. if you're guilty then you deserve it, and nobody wants to believe they deserve this.

sister mary lets out an annoyed sigh, a frown tugging at her features. she falls silent for a few seconds, then she looks at you, “go grab a cane.”

she barely spares him a glance as she says, “pull your pants down and bend over.”

she pushes herself off the desk, stepping to the side. succumbing to his fate, he obliges. there's no point in fighting a losing battle. you walk to the cabinet, and pick out a cane. you pick the one you think hurts the least, mainly for your peace of mind than out of concern for him. you attempt to hand it to her, but she shakes her head, “you do it.”

worms breed in your stomach. a heaviness settling on your heart. you thought about saying no, and running off with your last shred of morality. sensing your dread, she gives you a deceitfully warm smile. a silent threat. now wary of the consequences, you stayed. bearing witness to the atrocities that took place in the asylum was difficult, but you could get accustomed to it– you had. you hardened your heart, convinced yourself that these people are supposed to be treated like this. but you had never been the one to deal out any punishments, and when you do it just happens to be oh so respectful, awfully polite kit walker.

you shouldn't feel bad, you know that. he murdered and skinned those innocent women in cold blood, but as you peered down at him, you almost couldn't believe that he would do such terrible things. you raise your arm, and begin the motion to swing, but you don't make contact with his skin. panicked, your eyes flit over to her but she doesn't look annoyed, instead she looks amused like this is free entertainment.

with a dismissive wave, she urges you, “go on.”

you swallow down the lump in your throat, lifting your arm once more. you do make contact this time, and you see him jolt at the feeling. his head falls onto the desk. you strike him again. he manages to muffle his pained cries by biting his bottom lip and shoving his face into his elbow.

“tell me you killed those women, walker,” she asks again. like a stubborn child, he wildly shakes his head. she tuts, “three more.”

and you obey because it doesn't matter how you feel. all that matters is her word and the fact that he needs to be punished. tears roll down his cheeks, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

“admit it.”

“I didn't do nothin,” he grits out. his will power is commendable despite the circumstances, and it makes the weight on your shoulders heavier. she doesn't need to say it, because you're already hitting him again, four more.

“this could be over if you would confess,” she snaps, annoyed, and he lets out a watery chuckle.

“yeah, right.”

she isn't entirely wrong, this would end. although, it would be used against him in trial, ultimately leading to his execution. if it wasn't for that, you'd encourage him to confess too. though a sick part of you wished he would suddenly profess everything, save yourself from the heartache that you could be beating an innocent man. your arm aches, and your hand is throbbing from how hard you're clenching the damn thing.

he winces with every strike, though he tries not to. they’re measly attempts to cover up his weakness. stray tears intermittently slip down his cheeks, and there’s blood seeping onto his spit-shiny lip from all his biting. his ass is covered in raised welts and tiny specks of blood from the thin cane. It looks like the air simply brushing against it would hurt. in spite of all this, he remains resilient, taking each swat in stride. you've lost count on how many times you've hit him, or how many times he's had to repeat that he didn't do it. you can barely listen to her complaints, and her snide remarks about how he could end this.

when he still doesn't come clean, mary gets tired of him. quickly turning peevish and brooding. she goes quiet for a long while, until finally she lets up, ordering for you to stop. you try to brush off all of it just as one more smudge on your conscience, something else to keep you up at night, but the sight of him sticks with you. he looks so… broken. piteous little sobs leaving his pink lips, trembling through the pain.

“leave. now.” she huffs, and you can tell it's meant for the both of you. you wait behind to watch him leave.

he uses his arms to push himself off the desk, carefully tugging up his pants. you can see the way his eyes threaten to gloss over again and how his breath hitches from the pants rubbing against his welts. it must hurt like hell. you don't attend to his needs yet. not now, not under her watch, so you wait until he's out the door. you catch up to him in the hall.

“um, I can fetch you some salve to soothe the pain later.”

he doesn't seem too pleased with your presence because he flat-out ignores you, picking up the pace. determined, you match his pace. he scowls, shooting you a harsh glare, “don’t you have someone else to bother.”

“I just wanna help you.”

“I don't need it,” he remarks, continuing to walk away. accepting the fact that you're not going to make it through to him, you stop walking, allowing him to get further away from you. you feel a dull ache in your chest watching him step away. a hollow empty feeling. you just did something terrible to him, and you can't even convince him that you only want to help him. it's completely understandable on his part, but it still makes you feel helpless. so you retreat to your room for the day. you hope that he seeks you out and takes your offer. you don't know if it's the guilt or the genuine concern for his well-being that makes you desperate to help him, but all you can do now is pray that he comes back.

[suns-out-sleeps-in]

Listen I like Traum(a) actually for all it's flaws and frustrating battles but why was Mandricardo not included? He's part of the paladins story and it would have been great to see Besto Friendo's dynamic with everyone as our buddy.

Mandri being cautious and protective of Ritsuka while Kadoc is around

Mandri comparing his ruling style to Vlad, Konstantinos, and Charlemagne + being an adventurer like Don Quixote which brings out ALL of his insecurities which could lead to a heartwarming moment of comforting him like Atlantis!Mandricardo did for us so they parallel each other (I'm insane I know shut up)

Someone BESIDES Mash actually being worried about us getting kidnapped like to the point of trying to run off and 'storm the castle' as it were.

I know it's brought up but Astolfo and Roland actually seeing for themselves just how different Mandri acts with us. Seeing the meeker, softer Mandricardo than the little terror that they knew and teasing him about his feelings for us making him a better person than he used to be. Very 'old friends telling embarrassing stories to their friends' crush' kinda vibes (delulu I know but let me have my Mandri/Ritsuka moment)

Mandri and Bradamante angst PLZ that would have been so good.

OMG Mandri and Roland Angst! Especially after Roland sacrifices himself and maybe Mandri is given Durendal as a result of the sacrifice? Like Roland magically gifts Mandri Durendal like Hektor did in Atlantis?! And maybe Mandri is all confused like "why do I feel like something was lost to get this?" And UGH NO I WANNA CRY 😭 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY TOO MUCH

To bring things back up we could have a sweet moment when Vlad stuns himself and telling Mandri to look after '(Y)our Master' before collapsing. I can't tell if it would be sweeter to include himself in 'our' because Ritsuka is still his Master and considers Ritsuka closer to his child than his leader or if he emphasizes the 'your' because he doesn't know if he'll survive Kazliki Bey on his own body so he focuses on Mandri because he KNOWS Mandri will do whatever it takes to keep Ritsuka safe no matter what so that could give Mandri some extra worry and responsibility because of their promise to each other, man to man, pseudo father to pseudo son in law. (Yes I KNOW I'm delulu shush)

Mandri and Charlie having a moment post reveal of knowing they would do anything to help Ritsuka as Ultimate Friend Energy

Extra EXTRA delusional but maybe Mandri being with us when we face Kreimhild and seeing Siegfried have his romantic moment with her and we get Kadoc's disgust with Mandri's VEHEMENT embarrassment because he knows himself well enough that he would do the exact same thing if it was him and Ritsuka and just *dies* thinking of him and Ritsuka being married. (God I feel like @mako-neexu with how insane he makes me feel and that's coming from an edguda shipper but mandriguda is like my 2nd fave)

WAIT NO I'M SO INSANE ABOUT THIS but as Siegfried is rizzing up Kreimhild and explains to Kadoc and Mandri that Ritsuka knew if Kreimhild didn't immediately die Siegfried would fight with her against them, Mandri questions Ritsuka about it and a dialogue option could be 'wouldn't you do the same for the one you loved?' which insta-kills Mandri's sanity because he imagines Ritsuka(either F or M) in wedding attire (new mystic code maybe? hahaha jk not really) ((Habetrot Bride Senses LOCKED IN)) which spirals into domestic married life with Ritsuka until he finally gets triple-killed at the idea of Ritsuka saying 'i love you'.

It would be infinitely funnier if in the ensuing battle if you choose Mandri as a support or use your own that he has a 1 turn stun debuff of Charm until he kicks into gear in the 2nd turn and gets an unremovable strength buff for the rest of the fight. He could even have a little battle banner thing that basically says "Sorry Master! I got distracted! I'm good to go now!" before he dispels the charm stun and gains the strength buff for even more delusional hilarity.

The whole thing with Holmes and Moriarty at the end and maybe seeing Angry Mandri? Like he knows how much Holmes means to Ritsuka and Mash and once Holmes falls he turns to Moriarty and just full on rages at him. Oh I'd cry but it'd be so cathartic and good.

Also I know Moriarty is basically dying at the point but having someone besides Mash as a servant when we are at the bunker and basically just silently (or not 🤭) seething at Moriarty. Like literally a 'one wrong move and I kill you' kinda Angry Mandri idk if that's too ooc but God I would kill for that.

Funny thing is I started writing this as a confession to @grandorderconfessions before realizing I had too many thoughts about it so it's become it's own post. Like I said at the beginning I still enjoyed Traum for what it is but it did confuse me why it was focused on the paladins but Mandricardo was only briefly mentioned by Roland and Astolfo during the gala scene.

Just one girl's bonkers delusions of potential romance between the last hope for humanity and a sopping wet cat of a servant (affectionate).

[scoobydoodean]

ok so I deeply love and respect your thoughts on supernatural because the majority of them line up with what I've been thinking for years but you said something the other day that I keep turning over in my brain and it was something along the lines of carver liking dean more than sam - I know you're in the middle of rewatching s4 but I would love to hear you expound on that (if you have time) because I remember being in the fandom while carvernatural was airing and it was pretty much when the deangirl exodus started. in fact I think people tore into him worse than dabb even 😭

feel free to hold onto this until later when you start the carver seasons if you wish :)

<3 I'll go ahead and answer this one, because it's more of a "broad strokes" thing for me, and I've been rewatching very slowly (on purpose) so that could be a very long wait.

This is so funny because I can just picture Sam fans reading it and turning red and their blood boiling with the fire of a thousand suns but the TL;DR is that season 8-11 (Carver era) broad strokes to me are:

Sam sucks and is a worse brother and person than Dean.

Sam spends the first two seasons of Carver's run thinking he's a better person than Dean anyway and then the second two knowing he sucks, deciding to embrace his moral flexibility to keep Dean alive no matter the cost, and trying to mend things.

Dean is circled by many potential suitors who also in a sense represent Sam replacements because Sam sucks: Benny, Cas, Crowley, and Amara.

Dean knows that Sam sucks and part of him wants to get tf away from him very badly but another part of him feels guilty for wanting that. Family is suffering. Family is a chain around your neck keeping you tied to them via guilt. (Demon Dean represents the desire for escape, as does Amara).

Everybody wants to be with Dean, be Dean, and/or be loved by Dean. Dean is love. Dean is the world. Dean is the reason for existing. Everybody is lovesick about him. Sam is just there.

Sam needs to stop blaming Dean for so many things and learn to own his own choices.

That was fun to write down.

Longer commentary/explanation below the cut.

Season 8 (Carver's first season) literally begins with a Sam character assassination. It begins with us learning that Sam knowingly left Kevin to spend the rest of his life kidnapped and tortured without even telling a soul what happened to him. Not only did he abandon Dean and Cas as well but he didn't even look for them, and refuses to give a satisfying answer as to why.

Season 8 Sam's abandonment as distinct from previous behavior

I have had people this year who I love and respect tell me they don't view this as a character assassination and say they believe this is in character for Sam. I simply do not agree with that. I talk about this as it relates to Kevin here.

Sam has displayed selfishness and a big ego at many points in the series up to season 8. He's told a lot of lies (sometimes to the point of gaslighting), he's gone behind Dean's back to do things that affect Dean's life, he's taken traumatic experiences Dean opened up to him about and ultimately harmed Dean with them, he's shown resentments and anger, he's displayed jealousy, he's displayed a sense of superiority. He has never abandoned his brother to die without even trying. The Sam of season 3 would eviscerate season 8 Sam for this.

Sometimes Sam says and does things he shouldn't, but his crimes do not include "abandoning Dean to die without even looking for him" up to season 8. Many of his crimes happen at least partly because he really really doesn't want Dean to die or is desperate to save his life. He lets go of his anger at John and returns to make sure Dean is safe in 1.11. He refuses to give up and finds a way to save Dean in 1.12. In 1.22, he's willing to put John's life at risk for revenge, but in 2.01 he gets into an outright screaming match with John in the hospital under the belief that John's prioritizing the demon over Dean. Sam spends all of season 3 raging and angst-ing about not being able to save Dean to the point of considering and doing some shady as hell things/abandoning some of his more stalwart moral stances (3.05, 3.11, 3.15, 3.16). Dean's death and later, the desire to secure his safety/future, is one of the catalysts for Sam's descent into drinking demon blood (3.09, 3.16, 4.04, 4.09, 4.12). When he dies in "Swan Song", he urges Dean to pursue a normal, safe, life because he knows that at that point in time, Dean wants to get out but has always felt trapped (2.09, 2.10, 2.20, 3.01, 4.12, 4.16). Even Soulless Sam (who isn't the same as regular Sam) tried to look for Dean in 6.09 "Clap Your Hands If You Believe"—it was simply that when leads for the night dried up, he hooked up with someone because he had nothing more to go on and in soulless Sam's head that was the reasonable thing to do. But soulless Sam also certainly isn't representative of the real Sam—the fact that he doesn't care as much is supposed to point us to differences between him and regular Sam. Season 8 opens with Sam abandoning Dean in a context that makes him arguably worse than his soulless self.

(I talk about why Sam actually abandons everyone in season 8 in a very long post here).

Season 8 and 9 more broadly

So Carver has Sam abandon Dean to die without even trying. Then he has Sam refuse to give any kind of actually reasonable explanation that makes sense to anyone who was paying attention. Then he has Sam say that he's going to leave the life and Dean needs to get over it and accept that Sam's new life will not include contact with Dean (just like his life at Stanford didn't). While saying he's going to leave, he still wants to exert control over Dean's relationships and leverages the threat of leaving (as if he were going to stay) to get Dean to shut up about Sam abandoning him and then again to try and get Dean to cut ties with Benny. He wants to kill Benny before knowing a single thing about him. He assigns someone (Martin) who he knows is mentally unstable and has a more black and white perception of monsters to track Benny and gets Martin killed. He watches Martin knock Dean unconscious and chain him up in a room and doesn't stop it because he wants Benny dead that bad, but then has the audacity to act as if Dean sending him a fake text is worse than Sam literally chaining him up in a room to prevent Sam from killing an innocent person (someone Sam would normally—btw—defend based on episodes like 2.03 and 4.04 or even a few episodes ago with Kate in "Bitten"). He tells Amelia he wants to fight for their relationship then the moment Dan says they should leave the choice to Amelia, he leaves so that it becomes his choice, and then he returns for one episode just to be a homewrecker. He insists on doing The Trials while promising to survive them and giving a big speech about how he's going to save Dean from his own suicidal ideation and then drops the promise as if it never existed two episodes later. Sam loses confidence in himself to complete The Trials and then acts like Dean is the one who doesn't believe in him because Dean is caring for him and insisting he rest and this is an unforgivable offense. At the end of the season, he basically says he's going to commit suicide because Dean has friends besides him. He acts as if he deserves to be Dean's most trusted confidant after an entire season of him being an absolutely fucking terrible brother and acts like Dean is just a big meanie whose feelings are irrational.

After all of this, he has the audacity, in season 9, to suggest that Dean is a bad person who can't stand the thought of being alone. He tells Dean he's the worst person ever and they can only be work partners from now on because Dean is so so bad and evil for stopping him from committing suicide and then not telling him about Gadreel. At the end of the season he admits this was a lie. He just wanted to punish Dean (9.23).

I can see how—if you were watching live at the time (I started watching when season 11 was airing) you'd lose hope. You'd quit the show over all of this, because it seems to go on forever. It's like torture. I would drop kick season 8 Sam into a pit full of lava without hesitation so I get it. If I believed that Carver was actually saying "Yes so true Dean is The Worst™️ and Sam is morally superior <3" for two seasons straight I'd quit the show too. But that isn't what he's saying. We're supposed to read between the lines and realize how unbelievably full of shit Sam is—how deeply selfish and hypocritical he's being. How yes—Dean has made mistakes—but Sam is NOT a better person than him and has gotten away with some absolutely rancid garbage. And season 10 and 11 go on to beat you over the head with it if you didn't get it the first time.

Season 10 and 11

Season 10 opens with this dialogue from a demon:

I heard the rumors. I said "no, that can't be." A Winchester, one of us? But it's true, isn't it? Whatever soul you had; whatever boy scout code you cuddled up to at night; it's all gone. Leaving what? Look at you!

We're meant to think she's talking about Dean who just woke up with black eyes, but then the camera cuts to Sam torturing her, demanding to know where Dean is.

In 10.03, we learn that Sam talked a man (Lester) into selling his soul so he could use him as bait. Demon Dean ends up being assigned to fulfill Lester's deal (to kill his wife for cheating on him). Dean immediately clocks Lester as having cheated on her first and kills Lester for being an insufferable hypocrite... and while he's doing it, I'm pretty sure he's also thinking of Sam's flaming hypocrisy.

SAM: I never meant— DEMON DEAN: Who cares what you meant?! That line that we thought was so clear between us and the things that we hunted, ain’t so clear is it? Wow. You might actually be worse than me! I mean, you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul. Nice work.

NOTE: 10.03 also recalls 4.21—an episode Sam fans have always tended to emphasize as a "Dean crime" episode where Dean risks Sam's death to force a detox. Sam does the reverse—pumping Dean full of human blood here in 10.03 and explicitly risking his death.

Sam gets Suzie killed in "The Werther Project" while searching for The Book of the Damned.

SAM I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. SUZIE Lot of good “sorry” does me. Look at me. Look….at….me. [She points to her corpse.] There she is. The first casualty of your misguided mission. But what’s another human life to you? Anything’s worth it, as long as you two make it out alive. And how’s that search going? Any closer to a cure? SAM This isn’t real. You’re not real. SUZIE You think Dean’s the wild card, the loose cannon. But don’t you see? Making deals with witches, opening Pandora’s box down there? You’re the reckless one. You’ll do anything to keep clinging to that doomed brother of yours. How many more will die, Sammy? You know it. You have to be stopped. And the only one who can stop you is you!

A few episodes later, Sam orders Oskar's death for a spell to remove the Mark of Cain. I've seen hilarious posts before about how he had no choice but to do this because MoC Dean is so scawy and bad but that quite explicitly is not his motivation. They could have done so many other things. Throw him into space. Bury him in a really deep hole. Put him in something like The Cage. But Sam didn't like any of those options, because all of them meant being without his brother, and he's realized he doesn't want to be without him no matter the cost (10.18).

SAM So, awhile back, we had a chance to, um…close the gates of Hell. And in order to do that, I would’ve had to die. And, I was okay with that, and I am okay with that, but Dean was not. And so, he uh… CHARLIE He saved you. SAM Yeah, he saved me. CHARLIE And let me guess, in doing so, he did something you didn’t want, and that pissed you off. And you said something that hurt him? SAM Yeah, that sounds about right. [...] SAM You know, when Dean came to get me at school, I-I told myself… one last job, you know? One more job. And then when – when I, um…. When I lost Jess, I, again, told myself one more job. There’s always one more job, you know? And one more job, and one more job, and then I was gonna go back to law and – and to my life. CHARLIE You were the Dread Pirate Roberts of hunting. SAM Yeah. I guess I really understand now that….this is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…. CHARLIE I got it. I-I do.

This all culminates in 10.23, where a very mentally unstable MoC Dean attempts to reason with Sam about them both being evil and needing to take themselves out:

DEAN: Remember when we were in that church, making Crowley human, about to close the Gates of Hell? Well, you sure as hell were ready to die for the greater good then. SAM: Yeah, and, Dean, you pulled me back. DEAN: And I was wrong. You were right, Sam. You knew that this world would be better without us in it. SAM: No, no, no, wait a second. You're twisting my words here, Dean. DEAN: Why? Because we -- we track evil and kill it? The family business? Is that it? Look at the tape, Sam. Evil tracks us. And it nukes everything in our vicinity -- our family, our friends. It's time we put a proper name to what we really are and we deal with it. SAM: Wait a second. We are not evil. Listen... We're far from perfect, but we are good. That thing on your arm is evil, but not you, not me. DEAN: I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you --when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A-a good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world. SAM: You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way.

Dean is saying a lot of shady shit here, but some of what he's saying... isn't wrong?

Sam is willing to let The Darkness destroy the world, and he does, and then standing in the aftermath of a town being destroyed by the force he unleashed, Sam says:

SAM: I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it . . . to save you. DEAN: And I told you not to. SAM: And I'd do it again. In a second, I would do it again.

Thousands of people are dying and Sam says he would do it again. This post about Sam's actions versus Dean stopping Sam from closing the gates of hell is highly relevant.

Season 11 continues with Sam taking a little more responsibility for his own decisions, while praying for Dean to live (11.02):

SAM: So . . . I know it's been a long time, but . . . Dean and I, we've -- we've been through a lot of bad. But this is different. This is my fault, and I don't know how to fix it. And if I have to die, I've made my peace with that, but . . . Please. Dean deserves better. Dean deserves a life. There are people out there, good people, who are going to suffer because of me, and I am not asking you to clean up my mess. Hell, I don't even know if you're out there, but . . . If you are . . . And if you can hear me, I, um . . . We need your help, God. We need to know there's hope. We need a sign.

And then there's the VERY long-awaited apology:

SAM When I was with Lucifer, he, um... He showed me things. It was like a highlight reel of my biggest failures. DEAN Yeah, he was messing with you. That's what he does. SAM Give me a sec. I should've looked for you. When you were in Purgatory, I... I should've turned over every stone.

Family (Sam) as chains

While all of this is happening, we also have Benny and Cas and Crowley and Amara.

Benny is contrast—someone whose goodness and selfless loyalty only makes Sam's horrible flaws stand out more sharply in season 8. Under the influence of the specter, Dean says, "Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you have ever been" and Sam can't stand it. It haunts him so bad he tries to kill Benny, and can't get over it even after the end of the season when Benny is fucking dead. He is unable to accept that the contrast between himself and Benny is his own fault.

Crowley and Dean's flirtations begin in season 9, as Sam suffocates Dean, and at the end of the season, Crowley has literally convinced Dean to run away with him. In 10.01, there is a delightful phone call where Crowley rubs it in Sam's face that Dean is with HIM:

SAM I don't know how you did this, what kind of... Black-magic stunt you pulled, but hear me --I will save my brother or die trying. CROWLEY You know what tickles me about all this? It's what's really eating you up. You don't care that he's a demon. Heck, you've been a demon. We've all been demons. No, it's that he's with me and he's having the time of his life. You can't stand the fact that he's mine. SAM He's not your pet. CROWLEY My pet? He's my best friend, my partner in crime. They'll write songs about us, graphic novels. “The Misadventures of Growley and Squirrel." Dean Winchester completes me, and that's what makes you lose your chickens.

It's this cruel callback to Sam's jealousy of Benny and Cas in season 8—how Crowley convinced Dean to finally ditch his smothering, controlling brat of little brother who can't stand him having friends, and now Dean is having the time of his life howling at the moon. The problem is, Dean also feels a little bit like maybe Crowley wants to control him too, and that isn't working for him.

Amara in season 11 goes on to further speak on terrible brothers who think they're better than you, who leave you betrayed and diminished, who abandon you. She's raging against the concept of family as chains—she wants revenge... but all the while she's in pain because she still loves her brother. Amara's attraction to Dean is based on that commonality—what she feels is a shared experience and how she wants to cut the last remaining pieces of love she feels for her brother away so she can finally be free of the pain of him—and she doesn't care if she destroys everything—including herself—in the process. (See: Dean slowly losing his identity through the MoC arc). Sam and Dean's relationship is in rehab over this whole season though, and so Dean's role ends up being to convince Amara not to destroy herself—to instead do what Sam and Dean have done and make up and work on improving their relationship.

[moonswolfie]

Hi Wolfie!! I've been following you for a while now, and I absolutely adore your works! (I hope you don't mind having me here 😓) I was wondering if we could get our beloved Omi-Omi + 8 & 9 for your follower event, with fem reader :3 Omi's just a confused, silly little guy with feelings he can't really explain- and he's just so lovable nwjshiwjdksdhsjshwjw

(ohh, btw do you think it can be timeskip version, where reader is the manager for MSBY BJ/National's team? 😋)

That's all!! Take your time, take care and stay healthy!! 🫶

MSBY!Kiyoomi x manager!fem!reader

Ahhh choco you're so sweet you got me giggling in my room at 12 pm😭😭 i'm actually very excited to write this one in particular!! it's fine for you to follow me and like my stuff, don't worry

it feels a bit strange actually recieving this many asks, this must be how a popular blog feels ( •̀ ω •́ )

"Great. We're locked in." Sakusa sighed after pulling on the door handle, the door refusing to budge.

The thing you probably least expected to happen today is being locked in a room with Sakusa Kiyoomi, the one player in the MSBY Black Jackals who disliked you.

"Do you have your phone on you?" He asked, annoyance showing in his voice. You checked your pockets, quickly realising you forgot your phone on the office desk. You groaned, cursing under your breath.

He realised the same thing as you, also cursing himself out internally for somehow forgetting to charge his phone this morning.

"When do the others come back?" You could sense the impatience and discomfort in his voice, sighing silently to yourself. Of course, neither of you were happy to be locked in a room with no way out, but the fact that it's you he's trapped with must make it even worse for him.

Somehow, it hurts you immensely that the two can't seem to get along. You know that it's just like that with some people in life, but why Kiyoomi of all people? A player that you have to interact with a lot as a manager, a player who's... kind of hot...

No! This is weird! Why would you think that for even a second?!

"...Are you going to answer me?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!- I don't know!!" You stammered out, embarrased at your own thoughts even though you knew he couldn't read them.

He furrowed his brows at you slightly before sitting down on a chair in the room, making sure to dust it off beforehand. He muttered something under his breath that you vaguely registered as a curse word.

Oh, he hates you that much.

You swallowed your spit, not knowing what to do yourself. You sat down on the floor, placing your arms on your knees in anticipation of an uncomfortable time.

"Don't sit on the floor. Sit here." His suggestion surprised you, looking up at him to find him pointing to the chair next to him.

You did so silently, not wanting to make him annoyed or angry. God, this was the most awkward you've felt since confessing to your crush back in middle school. You glanced over at him, and he looked to be deep in thought.

You couldn't tell what his expression was like exactly because of his mask, and you had a feeling that you've been looking at him for far too long anyways.

"I'm going to regret this later." He said quietly, and before you could even question what he meant by that, he was sliding his mask down his face and pulling you closer by the waist. Wait... what?!

You had no time to think about what was happening because before you knew it, his lips gently pressed against yours. You made a noise of surprise, slightly muffled by his lips.

He pulled away far too soon, making you whine lowly. He looked away.

"I'm sorry. I usually think things through well, but I-"

"I liked it!!! I liked it a lot!!" That was the only thing you could say right now, still in a state of shock. But he hated you?! What in the world...

He simply hummed in response. He himself doesn't know what came over him there. He's always been distant towards you since you made him feel something weird, something new. He felt a little too safe and comfortable around you, despite you becoming the manager only a few short months ago.

And it bothered him to no end, considering his cautious nature. Up until now, ignoring it was the best route. But being trapped in a room with you for god knows how long made something snap within him.

It made the feelings he tried to desperately supress bubble up.

And you took it... well. Almost as if you felt the same way.

"Oh my god..." you groaned into your hands, feeling very overwhelmed with emotions yourself. And you're going to be trapped in a room with him... for how much longer?

Join the event HERE

Omi's hubby tag🍈: @melonnmiru

[somuchforstardust]

sorry for being unable to stop talking about this but it's actually insane that any of you can

literally seconds into the video when alexa asks the contrived would you rather question and john mayer is like "i'd much rather have a member of fall out boy sit on my lap 😐😐😐"

a second later he's pretending to be surprised that they're bringing pete out but the ten pixels of this video still clearly convey the completely dead look in his eyes

pete's smile gets wider when he's about to hug john mayer

the least sexy or intimate lap sitting i've ever seen in my life pete looks like a little boy sitting on santa's lap

genuinely talking in a baby voice when he says "all i want for christmas is john mayer's battle studies 🥺" HUMILIATING.

the way he's cradling that cd

the masculine alpha way john mayer grips believers never die and delivers his line in contrast

this one is a @lyekisses original: you can see on pete’s face when john is like “all i want for christmas is pete wentz…” he believed that and he fell deeper. he’s not good enough of an actor for it not to have been real to him

pete has one of john mayer's legs between his

john mayer moves over when pete gets off his lap and pete SCOOTS CLOSER TO HIM 😭

the amount of space between pete and john mayer and john mayer and alexa chung

crosses his legs

john mayer makes a stupid joke that possibly doesn't make sense but pete laughs with a sparkles in his eyes anyway he's so excited that john mayer is talking about his band

pete continues to lean in even closer he is genuinely living in a different dimension at this point his face is in his neck he's trying to mate

john mayer starts making fun of their titles while pete visibly leaks omega slick in front of the entire studio audience. at least when kanye did it it was in a verse 💔

alexa chung is trying to wrap up his part and pete is like "i'm done already 🥺"

pete telling people to buy the john mayer album so earnestly that he's stumbling over his words meanwhile john mayer told like 50 bad fall out boy jokes instead of promoting believers never die

everything pete says is so timid and shy if he's not silently giggling and blushing he's going "w-wait do i really have to go 🥺👉👈"

"i watch john write this record and it actually comes from the heart" i don't want to imagine what this might mean i'm sure it's depraved

[red-room-studi0]

WIR AU Introduction!!!! "ReinC̴̢̺̹̿̐̊͂̉Ȍ̸̬̘̭̬́̈Ḑ̸̯̫͔̝̋̎̓̏Ẽ̸̠̤̤̰͕̆͐͝D̶̹̜͆̒͜ AU"

(oooo spooky title)

Soooo uhhhh this is an Wreck It Ralph AU of mine that is also a self inserbut uh if u don't like that then uhhhhhh. Sorry.

ANYWAY! I'm bad at explaining things so just bear with me here! *Freddy Faz bear noises 🐻*

Oke oke- Sooo basically this AU is about this Girl "Annabelle" (my self insert teehee) who had gotten trapped in the Sugar Rush game somehow just by messing with the game cabinet while the Arcade was closed (spooky black magic shit ik). But later she finds some weird red glitchy blob by Cola mountain, she messes with it for a bit and then HOLY SHIT IT'S TURBO??? WHAT???!!! NO WAY! But Turbo is in his virtual form (like a ghost form of some kind, idk just keep listening to me yap) instead of his physical form (and oh boy is his physical form way more fucked up than his virtual form). Time goes by and Annabelle is Ruling Sugar Rush (yeah ik that doesn't make sense but just wait till I get to the lore part and as to why oke? oke-). So yeah she has been made to rule a literal sugar kingdom while she also has to be a playable character to NOT look sus to other game characters watching. (ofc this did not work cuz erm- what the sigma??? new girl??? where Vanellope???????)

LORE

OK! now for the lore and as to WHY??? AND HOW???

Sooo, Annabelle had move into town and then found out there was a cool arcade nearby where she was now living. Ofc that being Litwack's Arcade :3. For a little while she had been a daily visitor to the arcade and ofc Sugar Rush was her #1 favorite arcade game and played it EVERY DAY. She would play other games too ofc (Fix It Felix Jr would be her last resort game when all the other games in the arcade were Occupied).

Now as for Annabelle's personality? She is pretty nice and very fun to be around if you like her at first sight. She has a bit of an ego though, It pretty much started developing when she would win all the time in that Sugar Rush game. She had ALWAYS been the #1 person on that sugar rush leader board (I actually don't know if there even is a leader board in the game but NOW IT DOES >:]). Unfortunately that would change when a couple of assholes would come in and mentally put her down saying shit like uhhh "lol, ur so bad", "I could bet you in a race like that" (they're jealous lol). Ofc this gets on Annabelle's nerves and this makes her think she has competition (and she did) AND her way to cope and talk back at them with bs like this was to STROKE HER EGO (oh honey noooo D,:). Ofc this eventually gets to her when she starts fumbling in the game and is starts losing with every chance she gets (yes getting 2sd place means losing to her, sounds familiarrrrrrr ◉_◉). She has been losing her place on the leaderboard and eventually the Assholes find out and then they quite literally take a mental tole on her (ya wanna know what's really funny??? These assholes are literal teenage kids... Annabelle is literally fucking 20 like- HONEY THEY'RE KIDS STOP WORRYING 😭😭😭).

One night Annabelle hits a breaking point and NEEDS to be back on that #1 spot on the leader board BY. ANY. MEANS. NECISSARY.

Phhhfffttt- Oh nonono- she is NOT losing to a couple of kids that have been bulling her for the past couple of days! Hell NO! So what does she do???? Break into the Arcade overnight!!!! WhAt CoUlD pOsSiBlY gO wRoNg??? *screaminggggg and cryinngggg*

So Annabelle breaks in the Arcade, UNFORTUANTELY She had forgotten her quarters back at home. Sooooo she goes back home and doesn't bother✨ JK SHE DECIDES TO BREAK INTO THE GAME CABNET TO STEAL QUARTERS 💀 (mind u that Annabelle is UNAWARE that these game characters are sentient, so even if she did have her change on her and put them in... they would NOT be there) Annabelle rummages around and is suddenly hit with some powerful shock and blacks out (Nice one girl 😒). Annabelle wakes up and HOLY SHIT- WHAT THE FUCK??? SHE'S IN SUGAR RUSH???? WHAT THE HELLLLL?????? (ofc this whole time she thinks she's dreamingggg but the scary reality finally hits her eventually 😁😁😁) Annabelle Finds out about Game Central Station and oh my god it looks to scary for her- nope, She's staying inside Sugar Rush. And heaven forbid if one of them finds out she's human in the game world, they could probably kill her *🥲*. I almost forgot to mention that her physical appearance slowly starts to change the longer she's in the game world. Her skin starts to look paler and slightly grey; her eyes are tinted yellow and her eyerises are turning a darker shade of blue. And this is due to the exposure to the atmosphere of the game world. So it looks like she's dying but she's not. :,]

Anyway about this Red g̵̋͜l̸̯̾i̶̱̍t̶̩͒c̴̪̀h̸͖́ÿ̶̦ blob she found beside Cola Mountain~

After a while of her walking around and Exploring Sugar Rush (and to find a safe place to stay *sobs*) She sees a red glint in the corner of her eyes by the mountain and ofc goes to check it out (naauuurrrrrrr!!!!), She finds it, picks it up, messes with it for a minute and she's suddenly hit with a painful red shock that literally makes her fall to the ground. And with some spoooky electronic glitchy magic bs going on in front of her this blob takes in the form of... guys... You'll NEVER guess who it is!... It's Turbo! what a goddamn surprise! I bet u never guessed right hehehehehehe >:] jk (I just realized how long this is getting. I'm sorry to all my ADHD people 😭😭😭)

I'll try to explain this part really quick :,)

Turbo meets Annabelle in his Virtual form, Annabelle os freaked out about this shit cuz holy fuck what is that creepy ass glitchy tall shadow creature???? (yes his virtual form made him tall 🤭) So after some back and fourth talking and them introducing themselves and Turbo going on about his pathetic sob story as they why he's like this and all that bs talk, Annabelle asks if he could be able to take her home because of his coding abilities and all that stuff. He says he will BUT, in order to help her get "home" SHE has to do something for him first in order for that to happen. He NEEDS everything back that was all taken away from HIM and he need her help to get it all back just by Reincoding him back to his physical from (unfortunately for Turbo, his powers and abilities are limited when he's in his virtual form.). Annabelle agrees. (spoiler alert: There is actually no way she can get home, she's stuck in the game world forever. 🥲)

Now how this will happen is:

• Get inside the castle and enter the code room, Find Sour Bill and hold him at knife (ik, very dramatic and over the top but somethings gotta work) point. He will help her get into the code room with a rope to tie around her in order to stay safe and not float away in the black abyss of the code room (ofc he tells her the Nintendo code)

• He will be with her when this happens, Annabelle will need to destroy Vanellope's code and keep it away from all the other codes just like he did when he Ruled Sugar Rush. This will ensure that Vanellope will forget EVERYTHING (this means her memories about Ralph and everyone else she has befriended and her memories she has held dear)

• Turbo will teach her how to code a new character sprite for herself and put EVERYTHING in it that will make her Rightful Ruler. Annabelle gives herself the Name "Queen Sweetheart" Omori Reference???? (Turbo designed a dress for her, She found it pretty sus on how low the bust area is but whatever, she has other clothing designs for herself. Whatever works)

• Alright Vanellope is out of the way and now considered a threat once again and no one has NO memory of Vanellope and Annabelle is officially rightful ruler of Sugar Rush

• She will announce that there will be a big Racing event in THREE DAYS (ofc the whole part with the coins from the first movie is brought back to ensure that Vanellope CANNOT enter the race again.

• When that day comes Turbo will virtually go into Annabelle's body (It's painful) and then she will go racing with him virtually inside her.(Please don't get the wrong idea I couldn't think of any other way to say it 😭😭😭) She HAS TO WIN. If she doesn't then he will find her completely useless and not help her get back home. *😐*

When Annabelle wins that race Turbo is finally back to his physical form and 100% fully alive and will take everything back that has been taken from him. (sure Turbo, sure 😒)

Ofc there will be people getting in the way of Their plans cuz people want to know why there's suddenly a new character and "WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO VANELLOPE???" -Ralph probably 🤭

With the help of some people Vanellope eventually starts to regain memory. "How will Vanellope get into that Race? she has no medal!" Well Felix was nice enough to give him one of his to use, he was hesitant *raises eyebrow* but he had to do it for the sake of Vanellope.

I was gonna type in more but I think that would be spoiling some stuff so uh yeahhhh. I'll stope here for now! uhhhh Thanks for readingggg. (If u even read this far into my AU Lore and stuff 😇)

I'd love to type more story and lore but like the last bits are like the best parts so like- I'll save those for art hehehehe.

If you like this AU then YIPPEEEE!!!!! ✨✨✨

If not then uhhhh 😐😐😐

thx for reading anyway 🥲

Anyway uh I'll make ref sheet's for Turbo and Annabell/QS soon dw 😁😁😁

If u have questions about the AU, my inbox is open for asks!!! ✨✨✨ I'd love to answer :333

Oke uh Bye 💖

[rillils]

i hate my angst loving self so much sometimes

think about a confused and not-entirely-there bucky screaming at steve, asking him why he left him there on the snow, asking why he didnt come back for him, telling him how long he waited for him to come and save him

FINE HONEY, YOU WANTED ANGST, I'LL GIVE YOU ANGST. AND I'LL CRY ABOUT IT 😭

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, tw: suicidal thoughts, very mild gore, nightmares, post-catws, angst is definitely not my thing what am i even doing here asjdhsjdh wordcount: 3815 a side note: while the language here is used in accordance with steve's profound sense of guilt, it doesn't reflect the author's personal beliefs on the matter - aka IT'S NOT HIS FAULT SKDLKS MY POOR BABY 😭😭

It always starts off quiet, like the darkened hall of a theater in the split second between the curtain opening over the stage and the actor’s first line. Silence, please. The show is about to begin.

The scenery changes sometimes, but it’s the mountains Steve sees most often in his dreams: the soulless gray of stone, and the blinding white of snow coating everything, from the peaks, to the valley, to the copse of fir trees, huddled together like children in the cold. Just like he remembers from that day in the Alps. No one knows how to torture him better than his own mind.

The wind rises sharp and icy, lifting sleets of frost with it, and a chill rolls down Steve’s spine. It’s not the cold, though.

It’s fear, congealing like a dead weight in the pit of his stomach. The show is about to begin. And he’s watched it all to the end countless times before.

“Steve?”

His head whips around, and Bucky’s right there, like he always is. A fixed point, unchanged, unmovable, his boots sinking soundlessly in the thick layer of snow beneath them.

He looks so beautiful, so oddly alive against the backdrop of his desolate place; a man at the peak of his youth, the pink of his cheeks nearly glowing next to the deep blue of his uniform, his hair combed to a movie-star shine, parted neatly to the side. It’s cruel, how perfect he is. Preserved like a cherished heirloom in Steve’s mind, never fading, never aging; a living picture, soft and rosy-cheeked. He belongs in a dance hall, in a crowded street, in the cheerful chaos of the fourth of July, in the color and noise of fireworks, in the tangle of ooh’s and aah’s under the firelit sky. He doesn’t belong here. But he’ll never leave this place.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky’s head tilts to the side, confused. “You left a long time ago.”

“Bucky,” Steve tries to say, but the name dies on his lips.

The light in Bucky’s eyes dulls to a flicker, carrying a heavy gloom over his features. He looks so sad, all of a sudden. He never looked sad when Steve was around, Steve remembers that – and Steve never learned how to make it better.

He can never make this better.

“Steve.” All the color’s draining from his cheeks, quickly, leaving only the paleness of death behind. His eyes – they pierce right through Steve, empty and cold, so cold, and Steve shudders from head to toe.

“I waited for you for so long,” Bucky’s blue lips say, with a mournful lilt Steve used to hear in his mother’s voice when she would sing to him, all those heart-twisting songs about a home she’d never see again. “Where were you?”

Something dark spreads from within across the pristine blue of Bucky’s coat, dripping slowly from his shoulder, black like ink–

blood

– smothering the rich color underneath, reaching down, down–

he fell

– down along Bucky’s arm, until it’s streaking the back of his hand–

blood, it’s blood, he fell, he’s going to fall

– pooling ruby-dark at Bucky’s fingertips.

Soon the drops will spill all over the fresh snow, staining it red, too.

“You left me here.”

Steve can’t breathe.

“Why did you leave me here, Steve?”

Steve can’t breathe.

“I’m so sorry,” he gasps, and the next breath stings in his lungs, ice-cold and merciless, “I’m so sorry, Bucky, so sorry. It’s all my fault, all my fault,” he chants, hands clawing at his own chest. But what will it help? He can’t undo this. He can never undo this. “I should have held onto you,” he sobs brokenly, and it’s strange, how he can never tell when he starts crying in his dreams, but he always feels the tears streaming down his face, real as his grief is real, clogging up his throat. “I never should have let you fall.”

Bucky steps forward, dark blood trailing behind him on the ground. Steve’s heart jolts like a spooked horse, pounding loud and fast with adrenaline.

“Why didn’t you look for me?”

He sounds so gentle. So devastatingly sad.

“Did I mean so little to you?”

Steve shakes his head, No, no, no, everything, you meant everything, always, I swear, tears flicking off the edge of his jaw to be lost in the snow-packed wind. “I t-thought you were dead,” he sobs, like he’s still curled up into the blown-up flank of that train, like he’s still got his face pressed to the ice-burn of its metal and praying for everything to end, now, before reality can reshape itself around him and tell him that Bucky is gone forever.

Something mean slithers behind Bucky’s eyes. “And you would have left my body to the wolves?” he says, his voice dangerously sharp over the moaning wind. “You didn’t think I deserved a proper burial?”

It’s snowing on the outside, but it’s inside that Steve feels ice gripping at his guts.

“You could have sent me home to my folks.”

It burns.

“To my sisters.”

It burns so bad, the shame crackling under his skin.

“At least then my family would have had a body to cry over. But it never even occurred to you, did it.”

Steve’s tongue feels glued to the roof of his mouth. “I’m so sorry,” he pushes out uselessly, “I’m so sorry, I should’ve–”

“Or did you think that I was like you?” Bucky presses on, a cruel sneer forming on his white face. “Is that it? You fooled yourself so nice, you really thought I was like you? Like poor little Stevie? With no one left in the world who would miss me? No one who would even care if I was dead or alive?” He pauses, lips curling as though a new and amusing thought only just occurred to him. “Oh. Stevie, no. Did you think you were my whole world? Are you really that pathetic?”

“No,” Steve rasps, swallowing back tears and still drowning, drowning in them, “I never thought, I never– Please, Buck, I’m so sorry–”

Bucky’s silhouette blinks in and out of sight, and when he comes back, one moment later, he’s standing right before Steve, so close he need only reach out to touch him. His sneer is gone, but the depth of hurt in his eyes slices at Steve’s heart just as sharply.

“They took me, Stevie. You left me behind and they took me. Look,” he says, showing Steve the torn flesh where his left arm used to be – it was here just a moment ago, it was, Steve could swear it, it was right here – the bloody pulp of it, a frayed shard of white bone jutting out through the ripped muscle, sickening. His mouth, when Steve can finally look back, is curled back to show his teeth, the smile almost kind if it didn’t feel like a knife tearing at Steve’s own flesh. “This is all your doing. Isn’t it pretty?” Bucky tells him sweetly. “Tell me it’s pretty, Steve. Tell me it’s pretty.”

Without warning, Bucky’s hand darts up to clamp around Steve’s chin, gripping his face viciously. His touch is like ice, searing painfully into Steve’s skin, and Steve staggers in place, helpless but to look right into Bucky’s wide, desperate eyes.

“I was so scared,” Bucky whispers, hot tears spilling over his deathly pale cheeks. “I was locked in that place for so long, I couldn’t tell day from night anymore. It was so cold, and I was so alone, so alone without you, Stevie.”

His fingernails claw into Steve’s skin until they’re drawing blood, and Steve can only sob, can only take it, can only hope this will sate the hollowness he sees in Bucky’s eyes, if only for an instant. But it won’t, he knows it won’t. It never does.

If he could kneel at Bucky’s feet and beg for his forgiveness, keep him warm with the heat of his own tears, wash the blood away–

“I thought I was going to die. Every time they dragged me back to that table, I would tell myself, this is it. This is how it’s going to end,” Bucky tells him gently, nodding his head. “Sometimes, I even thought I should end it myself, before they could. But do you know what the worst part was? I didn’t die. No matter how bad I wanted it, none of the stuff they put me through ever did it. Hope kept me alive,” he snarls, soft through his bloodied smile. “That was my curse. I believed in you. I thought you would find me, save me. I told them you would come for me, and they laughed in my face, Stevie! They knew better.”

The sound that spills from Bucky’s mouth is the twisted, poisoned imitation of a laugh, emptied of all feeling, sharp like fingernails scraped across a blackboard.

“Don’t say that,” Steve whimpers, shaking his head, “please, don’t say that, no.” And he’d cover his ears if he could, lock that ugly truth out of his mind forever, but no muscle in his body will move until Bucky’s done with him.

“Do you know what happened then, Steve? You do know, don’t you?” Bucky asks, thrusting his face into Steve’s until only mere inches separate the tips of their noses – his eyes staring into Steve’s, a creeping echo of insanity gleaming from their depths. “They took my arm first, and then they took everything else.”

Hell. This is Hell.

“Because of you.”

This is what true torment looks like. No fire and brimstone, no howling souls of the damned, no blazing hail raining down upon him.

“It was always because of you.”

Just him and Bucky’s ghost, and a winter that never thaws.

“Bucky...”

The snowstorm rises against him with violence, angry, roaring in Steve’s ears, spreading frost over his chest, his arms, his bare face, freezing the tears caught in his eyelashes. Quiet, it demands. Don’t you speak to me. You have no right to speak to me.

But the yawning hole in Steve’s chest won’t stop screaming at him, starved for forgiveness, for a respite, for a mercy he never earned.

“Please, Buck... please...”

Bucky’s hand guides him down, pushing him to his knees. He crouches over Steve, gaze locked with his, heedless of the blood dripping dark and thick between his fingers; leaning in like he’s about to share a secret.

“I held out until I just couldn’t anymore. I tried to be strong, for you,” Bucky says in a harsh whisper. “But you never came.” His face, twisted by grief, wet with new tears. Steve cups it in his palms, but it’s no use: he can’t soothe this hurt. It’s too late now.

“Bucky, Bucky, sweetheart, forgive me– please, forgive me...”

Bucky’s grip on him relents; his fingers smear red over Steve’s cheek, four bloody streaks, and he strokes his knuckles over them, unbearably gentle.

“I waited for you for so long,” he says, mournful. His face is as cold as ice between Steve’s hands, stinging, burning. “Why didn’t you look for me?”

It hurts, it hurts so bad, so deep inside Steve’s heart.

“Why didn’t you look for me?”

The wind surges up around them, rattling Steve’s bones from within. The snow’s soaking into his pants, swallowing up his knees, colder, colder, the blizzard’s smothering him, blinding him, only Bucky’s eyes bright in his vision, crying, accusing, screaming, screaming, screaming–

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LOOK FOR ME?”

-

Steve jerked awake in the darkness, gasping for breath, a handful of sheets clutched dangerously tight in his fist. He barely even registered the soft, alarmed noise coming from the other side of the bed.

“Steve? It’s all right, you’re safe now.”

His eyes scoured the dark bedroom frantically, fighting through the chilling veil of ice still creeping at the edge of his vision. His heart hammered loud like thunder in his ears, pulsing so wildly in his throat, he thought for a moment that it would burst out of his body.

“Steve.”

Where was he?

The mountains–

“It was just a dream. You’re safe now, I promise. You’re home.”

His gaze focused on the only source of light: the faint glow filtering in through the blinds, the familiar orange hue of the street lights in their neighborhood, casting a striped pattern on the floor. A rug, there was a rug there – and a pair of slippers flicked just a bit too far from the bed.

“Come back to me, baby.”

The crumpled lumps of two discarded socks, that never made it to the hamper – oh, Bucky hated it when he did that.

“Sweetheart, can you look at me?”

A flicker of white–

– snow–

– Alpine, uncurling from her favorite spot and slipping soundlessly out of the room.

“Can you look at me? Steve.”

He turned his head towards the sound, staring wide-eyed into the shadows until finally, the outline of Bucky’s body emerged, sitting only an arm’s length away from him.

“That’s it, that’s good, Stevie.”

There was kindness in his voice, but his brow was creased with worry. His torso was half-twisted towards Steve, his body poised as though ready to reach out for him, but Bucky hadn’t touched him yet. Good, that was good. No. It hurt. That hurt.

Steve swallowed.

“Breathe with me, sweetheart. Can you do that? For me? Slow and easy, c’mon, with me.”

It was only then that Steve became aware of his own heavy breaths, the harsh sound of which filled up the room, gasp after gasp. He let go of the sheets and lay his hand on his own chest, where he could feel his pounding heartbeat, and tried to match Bucky’s calm, measured breathing as best as he could. He thought he was going to throw up.

“That’s it, just like that,” Bucky encouraged him.

Bucky–

Something flashed before Steve’s eyes; a fragment of a pale white face, with sneering lips and blood-stained teeth, taunting him with its cruel laughter.

You left me behind and they took me.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It was just a dream, it wasn’t real.”

Bucky shifted minutely on the bed, and a fleck of light caught the metal plates of his arm, a silver gleam darting quickly in the night.

Steve’s chin trembled. His throat closed up.

They took my arm first, and then they took everything else.

The tears came back before he could stop them, gathering hotly behind his eyes, pressing urgently to spill over.

“Bucky,” he choked out, and in the next moment he was crawling into Bucky’s open arms, curling his shaking body into Bucky’s sturdy frame. Bucky cradled him close, rubbing a soothing hand between Steve’s shoulder blades as Steve sobbed freely, pouring all of his anguish in the crook of Bucky’s neck.

“W-when you fell,” Steve stammered pitifully, clutching at the back of Bucky’s t-shirt with the desperation of a drowning man, “I should have come looking for you, I should’ve been there, should’ve– should’ve brought you back, I–”

“No, no, Steve,” Bucky rumbled, rocking him gently in his arms, “don’t do this to yourself. Please, baby, I’m begging you.”

Steve shook his head no, hiding himself deeper into the nook offered by Bucky’s neck, just beneath the hinge of his jaw. His chest felt too tight, too full – like a balloon filled with water and straining to contain it, the paper-thin skin tense to the point of bursting.

“I should have come for you, they – they never would have taken you, I wouldn’t have let them,” he stumbled on helplessly, “I would have died first! God, I would’ve... I would have died first, I swear, Buck, I swear...”

Bucky stroked his hand over Steve’s hair, kissing the spot above the shell of his ear, dark with cold sweat. Steve felt the dampness of it across his whole body, under the clinging cotton of his pyjamas, the unpleasant moisture cooling on his skin and leaving him to shudder in Bucky’s embrace.

“Look at me,” Bucky called softly. It was a simple request, laced with just the same gentleness Bucky would use sometimes to coax Alpine into his arms, but still Steve felt panic pool in his stomach.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t bear to look Bucky in the eye, not like this. Not when the truth – Because of you. It was always because of you. – was out at last.

What a scam he was. A whole lifetime spent preaching bravery, and the one time it truly mattered, he couldn’t even be brave enough to face the consequences of his own mistakes.

Please, don’t hate me, he sobbed silently against Bucky’s neck. You should. You have every right to. But please... please...

“Sweetheart, please, look at me.”

It took more strength than Steve had ever even known he possessed, but slowly, hesitantly, he let himself be pulled out of his hiding spot, and lifted his gaze to meet Bucky’s, if only for a fleeting moment.

Bucky’s flesh hand reached up to cup his jaw, working his thumb tenderly over Steve’s skin to wipe his tears away – a sweet, but fruitless endeavor, as more salty tears rolled down Steve’s cheeks, relentless.

“The truth is, neither of us could have known I would survive that fall,” Bucky said.

Steve shook his head, his eyes screwed shut against the flood of fresh tears. “I should’ve tried anyway, I should have come to you. I should have been there with you.”

Bucky grasped him by the arms, barely squeezing at all. The force wasn’t in his touch; it was in his voice, quiet to match the nighttime gloom, but firm nonetheless.

“What if they had taken you, too? What if they’d made you like me, what then?” he said, an edge of desperation coloring his voice, as if he couldn’t bear the very thought. “Do you think you could have lived with yourself, if you’d woken up one day to find that you had the blood of innocents on your hands?”

Steve’s head snapped up then, heat flashing fiercely in his chest. “What would I have cared, when you were there with me!” he cried out, panting heavily in the wake of that outburst.

Perhaps he couldn’t call this bravery; but when Steve could breathe again, their eyes finally met again.

If he’d feared he would see hate, or disdain, or resentment looking back at him, he didn’t find any of those. What he did find instead, staring at him from Bucky’s ever-familiar face, was the stubborn mark of love, shimmering brightly in Bucky’s eyes.

“Of course you would have cared,” Bucky whispered fiercely, cradling Steve’s face in both of his hands. “It would have killed you, and it would have killed me too. I could have never, ever forgiven myself, if they’d gotten their filthy hands on you because of me.”

His voice wavered, heavy with the weight of unshed tears. Steve could see the glossy sheen of them, threatening to spill over Bucky’s cheeks any second now, and felt his own heart split in two at the sight.

“Bucky,” he rasped, wetly, clasping Bucky’s wrists with his own hands to hold onto them, turning his face into those beloved palms to kiss them helplessly, one and then the other. Bucky never stopped holding him.

“Listen to me,” he said urgently, “listen to me now. We can’t change the past. We can’t, Steve.” A new sob ripped itself painfully from Steve’s throat, one he couldn’t have helped if he wanted to. “We can’t. It’s done, it’s there, we can’t take it back. And God, do I wish we could, believe me. But I want you to hear me when I say this: I am so grateful for what we have now. In the present. Our present.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath that rippled through his whole frame, as he openly struggled to keep his words clear and his voice steady. He was always the braver one, Steve thought, thrusting one of his hands out to grab a fistful of Bucky’s t-shirt, right over his breastbone.

“Steve. God, could you have ever dreamed that we could have this? I never even dared to hope for something like it, not even on my best days.”

He paused. Steve clung to him, his chest tight with emotion.

“The way we got here... Would I have chosen that? If I’d been given a choice, would I have wanted it to happen like that? No, of course not,” Bucky continued. “But if you asked me now, would I do it all over again, just for a chance to be here with you? I would say yes.” Steve whimpered, shaking his head, tears rolling down his face; but Bucky held him firmly, looking him right in the eye and nodding just as stubbornly, a watery smile on his lips. “Yes, Steve. Yes. A million times yes.”

He broke at last, and Steve lost what little control he had of himself. He tugged Bucky forward by his shirt and threw his arms around him, crushing their bodies together as if his life depended on it. Bucky returned the embrace with that same urgency, holding him tight as Steve muffled his sobs against Bucky’s shoulder, and buried his face in Steve’s hair in return.

The pinprick-like sensation of Bucky’s tears wetting his skin, as Bucky trembled quietly against him, felt like a bruise to Steve’s naked heart.

“Forgive me,” he begged, and he couldn’t have said what it was that he was seeking forgiveness for: if the pain he had caused Bucky now, or the one he couldn’t prevent so long ago.

“There is nothing to forgive,” Bucky murmured in his ear, his voice thick. “But I’ll say it, if you need to hear it.”

“Please,” Steve whimpered.

Bucky hugged him impossibly closer. “I forgive you. Always, sweetheart.”

The tightness within Steve’s chest unraveled, and in that moment, he breathed anew. Relief washed over him – and he cried, and cried, like a person cries when they’re gifted with kindness for the first time in a very, very long time, he cried until he thought he’d exhausted all his tears.

Bucky laid them both back against his pillow, chest to chest, shushing Steve’s hiccupping breaths with whispers of sweet nothings, never once letting him go.

“All that’s left to do now,” he said softly then, pressing a kiss to Steve’s brow, “is for you to forgive yourself.”

Steve burrowed deeper into his warmth, spent.

It would take a long time for that, and a tough, strenuous walk on the tortuous path towards that healing place. In the meantime, though, he could wrap himself into the safety of Bucky’s arms, and slip into a dreamless sleep for once.

[10underoot2]

I finally rewatched Queen of Tears Episode 16.

Its given me a lot of clarity on why I didn't like it all that much. The episode feels very filler like, reiterating what I already know, no development nothing to draw me in. So here's a list of thing I really like vs things I had beef with: 

The Good:

- Hyunwoo's understanding of what marriage is is very profound and beautiful. Really appreciate that bit.

- The employees in this corporate sector have been 10/10 throughout. I cannot with how much I love them to bits. Still not over 'I just want to see the rich argue' 😭😂

- Yangi's bond with Hyunwoo is absolutely 10/10 

- I like Haein trying to find the reason of their divorce. It's important for her cause why did two people who love each other want to divorce each other. But again I hate how this wasn't a main cause of comcern around epsidoe 7. Like don't brush over it fam. Don't you wanna know why the man you love and who loved you to bits wanted to divorce you?

- Those last 7-8 mins. Though I wish I had more of them. I needed a linear passing of time. Something like the Germany Montage at the start would've been perfect. But at the very end just 'Way home' playing, Hyunwoo seeing Haein as an angel to pick him up, the familiar happiness and love just spreading around them was beautiful to witness. Really got me teary eyed both times I watched it. 

The Bad: 

- I'm not even getting into the uselessness and bad execution of the whole Yoon Eun Sung plot line since episode 14. 

- Still have no idea why Mol Soo Hee she wanted Suwan dead? Like there's no rationale? Why not kill Hae-in or SeoCheol in all those 20 years as well? It makes no sense to me.

- the episode felt so unnecessarily dramatic. I get it he got shot and was in a car accident but I was so sure he'd be okay? Did not understand or appreciate the over dramaticness also those Yangi shots in that sequence were a little tooo dramatic for me

- I don't like Haein getting back her memories cause they said the hippocampus would be destroyed. It's my fault for looking for logic in the first place but can we please stick to what we established writernim. Also wasn't this the whole problem that she's not getting back ANY memories EVER?!

- The scene between the mothers at this point was also unnecessary. We could've gotten to this realization back in the episode this was brought up the first time. She knew the location and date I don't see how reviewing her album was the light bulb moment.

- I feel super bad for this one but for me even Hae-in's bedside speech, once Hyunwoo woke up, lacked sincerity. As much as she might realize she loves him. He's still a stranger. Who does she miss? Her husband who's love she has no recollection of? The man she loved but she has no idea how she loved him? Take out the loss of memories and it would've hit me like a truck. Like she's not even holding his hand as she waits cause she recently met him. What am supposed to cry over here? What could've been? The pre ep 15 Baekhong I dearly misssed at this point?

- More on the Hyunwoo hospital scene. When he says 'I had forgotten' As sweet as it is I already knew all of it. It was so ill placed I didn't have to see it here.  Also like what does she care? She doesn't remember if you forgot or not in the first place 💀

- The Yangi x Haeina acene in the hospital - what notebook are we talking about? Did I miss something? Did I fall asleep somewhere like what?! Also I feally do like Yangi but I thought all of the scenes with him were kinda forced this episode.

- The conversations where Haein tells Hyunwoo he's perfect. Is it just me or is Haein extremely expressive after the surgery? I can never imagine Haein telling Hyunwoo that he's perfect even if she think so. It was a little off putting for me being introduced to this new character in the last episode. I miss my inexpressible power girl.

- Just the voice over off what happened with Mol Soo Hee would've sufficed but I guess we had to see that SNU degree in action. 

- The turn in Da hye's emotion - as sweet as it was also felt forced. They just showed me earlier she didn't care for him and bullied him. Now you want me to belive she mistook her feeling okay sureeee 🙃

- This is what meant by killing the temperment. They start Hyunwoo's monolougue 'We forgave those who we used to resent and then we cut to this long scene of Aunt Beom ja. Then we have Hyunwoo, then we have his brother's scene. The editing was off here. I wish we had a monologue of just them. It all threw me off so much.

And here's why a sequence of Baekhong was so necessary cause remember the first episode we instantly fall in love and get curious because of that lovely montage of BaekHong Germany scenes. 

All in all good ending, horrible last two epsiode. Kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. It makes me long so much for the show I saw and fell in love with before. I have never felt this way about a last episode, I think I just expected better from this show. 

[poomphuripan]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally To Love, Take Care and Cuddle With Every Night

@bunnakit awww thank you for the tag 🫶 as an asexual i can't say i spent much time thinking about fucking anyone (so coming up with this list was really hard ;_;) but if any of these characters propositioned... i would NOT say no 😉

10. Phob (Something In My Room)

if there is an award for cutest ghost of all time in a BL series, i think Phob will take home easily. Phob deserves better sex. my meow meow friendly ghost Phob, i will tuck you in bed my ghost sweetie 🥺🫶

9. Shao Fei (History 3: Trapped)

my righteous cop with a strong sense of justice, i really love Shao Fei so much. Shao Fei doesn't beat around the bush and is really straightforward with his wants, I LOVE HE!

8. Khuafah (Sky In Your Heart)

Khuafah, the HOT CHARMING doctor that you are. i would volunteer to get sick every day just to visit him 🫠

7. Gene (Lovely Writer)

if Gene ever needs to write a straight romance novel, i'm happy to make out with him for research purposes 😉

6. Pisaeng (Be My Favorite)

most patient boyfriend who tries super hard to get you plushies? yea i would bang Pisaeng in a heartbeat, no doubt. in fact, i believe Pisaeng would be considerate and wait for me to be ready (Pisaeng babe i'm always ready for you 😉)

5. Tennoji Haru (Trillion Game)

while Trillion Game is DEFINITELY not BL, but Meguro Ren was in Kieta Hatsukoi so my boy should get a PASS 😤 Haru is confident yet humble, self-proclaimed selfish yet always selfless. god i love competent men *swoons* Trillion Game is out on Netflix, please check out my boy Haru and his boy(friend) Gaku and their start-up adventure together 🥺👉👈.

4. Charn (Laws of Attraction)

while i can't guarantee that i can give Charn a good time, i believe that as a fellow lawyer i can assist Charn with any case work he got. Like i said, i am a sucker for competent men 😮‍💨.

3. Tangmo (Great Men Academy)

you don't understand how obsessed i am with the og golden retriever, nation's boyfriend, Tangmo. it's been 4? years... i have not let him go... gentle soft boi but great at judo too? i think Tangmo and i should have our wrestling sessions ending up as makeout sessions.

2. Joe (My Stand In)

this is kind of a cheat but i've read the original novel for My Stand In (Professional Body Double by Shui Qian Cheng) and i can confirm Joe/Zhou Xiang is the sweetest soul, most precious, unluckiest gay ever (Ming, you are on sight, watch it sir or imma steal Joe away). i'm super excited for My Stand In because i hope i get to fall in love with Joe once again the way i fell super hard, head over heels for him when i finished this danmei novel within less than 24 hours. (was this shameless PR for Poom Phuripan's new BL series next year? yes, yes it absolutely was 🤗)

1. Khun Yai and Jom (I Feel You Linger In The Air)

if i don't have a gentle lover like Khun Yai Kritsada Palathip or a soft boyfriend like Jom Ravit Pittayanan then what's the POINT. i want both of them so BAD. also isn't it such a crime that Yai lives his entire life the rest of his live in celibacy, having fucked only ONE person (the love of his life) in his lifetime. LET ME IN. i will love both of you equally.

+ bonus: Chef Guy (Bake Me Please)

did you REALLY think i was gonna end my list without current loml, our resident sad boi, considerate and caring Chef Guy? 😅 Guy deserves a spot on here because well i'm absolutely feral for this man. Guy is just the nicest guy and i will literally do anything for him. Guy had me at hello but my heart truly broke when he comforted Peach saying he doesn't want to see Peach who's given him so much positivity, cry 😭.

oooooh that was soooo hard ;_; i love all these characters, maybe one day i need to start listing the female characters i'd totally hypothetically bang too because WOMEN ARE HOT 🔥.

[elysiumarchieve]

Scaramouxhe x mute reader? Headcanins before and after he became a 'god'

NAUR i think that honestly would be so cute😭 protective lover scaramouche who always knows exactly what you want and need MY HEART hc that he knows sign language

and PLEASE tell me if there is anything wrong, i tried researching more on mute people for this because i actually have never met anyone who is mute, so i tried my best😭

scaramouche x mute! gn! reader

warnings: fluff?? scaramouche isn't as much of a little shit in this as he usually is, he has a soft nonexistent heart, sort of 3.2 archon quest spoilers

✧ this is the embodiment of "they asked for no pickles" meme if you actually ask me

✧ scaramouche, although far more attentive when it comes to your needs, is still the same little shit you'd expect him to be. just because you're mute doesn't mean you're dumb and you understand him very well

✧ however, the difference lies in how he really treats you compared to everyone else - you're his beloved s/o and anyone mishandling you earned themself a nice warm place in whatever hell teyvat possesses

✧ scaramouche learnt rather quickly what you like and dislike and what things make you comfortable and uncomfortable. there is no need for you to even try and tell him you're feeling unwell, because he'll already be on his guard and leave at the slightest discomfort you might experience - he reads the room too well for someone who usually doesn't give a damn about human emotions and their needs

✧ there are people bothering you? the next day you find them on their knees, beaten up and bruised, begging you to tell your lover off and how they didn't know you were with a fatui harbinger (you didn't even know scaramouche found out about this)

✧ when accompanying him, he always makes sure you're 'heard'. he'd often say things such as "we're going this way" and waits for you to agree to it before continuing any further - it's all about you and what you think. you still have a 'voice', even though you can't speak to him like anyone else, but that's exactly why he puts you above everyone else

✧ a king of non-verbal cues. he's attentive to a point that it feels like his eyes are always on you, taking in every movement of yours and reading you like a book - there is no need for words in the first place. one unsure glance to the side and he'll be there, asking you what's bothering you

✧ while i doubt he knew anything about sign language before meeting you, he put in a lot of effort to learn it rather quickly for you. one, it would make it easier for him to know what you're trying to say and second, he doesn't need anyone to translate it to him nor do you need a notebook or anything else to talk to him

✧ tell him about your day! it doesn't matter how you do it, but he simply wants to see the excitement in your eyes when you go about what you did. he's genuinely interested in what you do

✧ after having received the gnosis and becoming a 'god' in that sense, you clearly saw him less and you were actually under the supervision of the sages who didn't even dare to say anything to you (i mean, your lover was literally becoming their god, what were they supposed to do?)

✧ staying with the doctor of all people wasn't an option either for you. who'd willingly stay with this madman in one room? not you unless you have a few screws loose

✧ if you came to visit scaramouche during his deification, he'd tell you about all the things he knew now - the knowledge he had gained, the things he suddenly felt.. except that he was still your scaramouche, being a little shit about everything

✧ fuck haypasia, his true first follower was always you, the person who was by his side even way before all of this. he had however to commend the sages for keeping you a secret from the traveler thus far. if they found out about you he would've been sure to try and hide you away from them (they could use his only weakness against him, but that would be low, even for the traveler)

✧ he allows you to sit down on these giant mecha hands to bring you closer to him and unless you're afraid of heights, is actually amazing. you look so tiny and vulnerable in his hands but he knows exactly that he can protect you even better now if you needed it (i'm thinking rn, if his arms copy every movement, can the mecha fingers too?? sign language mecha confirmed)

✧ if you manage to establish the same connection to him the way haypasia did, he'd definitely tries visiting you throughout the day, watching you from the shadows and making sure you're okay - this was his gift for you now that he was a 'god', his everlasting protection over you that he promises you

✧ besides that, he can read your thoughts now too, so your conversations would also be a little different from before. sometimes he'd just hold you on his mechanical hands and listen to what you have to say in your thoughts as he answers you whatever it might be

✧ in his eyes, you're beautiful on the outside and on the inside. he can tell from your mind that you're genuine about him and also his goals and it secretly reassures him knowing he has someone to actually keep true to what they promised him - in the end, all he ever wanted was to have a purpose, whether that might be through you or the gnosis he desires so much, he atleast knows that there is one more thing int his world to give him a purpose

✧ unlike any of the false promises made to him a long time ago, he'd make sure to keep them. as for now, he had become a god and he could give you everything you wanted if you just would be a little more patient for him

✧ he has everything he wants now, he finally has the heart he was designed for, he was finally the god he was always supposed to be and he had you, the one person who stood through it all with him up until this point

✧ he'd probably watch over you in your sleep - standing there with crossed arms right next to you, an endearing look in his eyes you would've never thought scaramouche could ever possess and a proud, small smile (he didn't care if anyone saw him, but the naked human eye could not perceive his form unless they were a special case like the traveler)

✧ to say that his ego grew with that realisation would be an understatement, and yet he'd make sure you're okay and that you're safe - even when that pesky traveler, his annoying flying creature and that child archon came to fight him, he'd be sure to make sure no harm would ever befall you and that you were secure and far away

[willowshimmer]

So I watched Fiona And Cake and I'm hooked...

First episode:

I love how it started with all the colors and how it felt! The voice acting was spot on and it felt surreal with the pastel theme.

"I don't wanna go to work......" Relatable... Especially since my school will start soon...

The way Cake is acting really true actually! Minus the ice... Also when cats ears and nose are cold that means they are healthy! If their hot then that means the cat is sick.

I honestly did not know Fionna's job was a thing....

When I saw Marshall Lee I screamed. I live for his DESIGN! And his personality.

Love Fern's hair. That's all I have to say.

Man Fionna's Boss is short I thought they were a kid.

Love Fionna's reaction from getting fired...And how she technically flipped of her now old boss.

PRINCE GUMBALL or should I say Gary...

Gary's so adorable! I would love to try the cookies he made! They look delicious and sweet and the latté there!

Fuck Gary's boss! He don't deserve to work with that short ass dwarf (No offense to anyone who's short) he deserves better!

When Marshall started singing I was just amazed by the voice acting again! Like such voice is amazing for him!

Oh the poor coffee...

Aw! Marshall likes the cookies! I hope he meets Gary some episode!

I don't trust this version of Lumpy space princess...

I LOVE HUNTER! They are so gentle and nice! I get a bit of gender enby vibes from them.

I LOVED THIS EPISODE!♥️

Below is the next episode review cause this is getting a bit long and cause I explore a few dark topics.

Second Episode:

I missed Simon so much!

I don't like how he's basically a human attraction to the citizens. I just don't feel comfortable with that cause of anxiety and I don't like getting asked questions in general.

I personally think that kid should've just left Simon alone and not talk about his past to HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!

I do think what's interesting about the trauma of Simon is that he's so traumatized from his past as the "Ice King" to the point he can't look at ice without freaking out. It's like soldiers who have been in wars and are so traumatized by loud sounds to the point they just at times attack.

I like Finn's new design! It matches well with now personality.

And I like how TV (One of Jake's kids) is with him.

So wait Jake's DEAD!?

Blindfolded into a forest... What could go wrong?

I really love the forest layout cause of colorful and bright it is! It blends in with the vibe it's going for.

I was at first like "Woah there's blood!" When Jake killed the fish but then it made sense cause Adventure Time came out year's ago and they now they're audience has grown since then so it makes sense.

I would love to hear more stories from before Simon was the Ice King.

"SUCK ON THESE NUTS!" YES!!

More things that I noticed about Simon when he was fighting the bear thing is that he's not a fighter, he's not violent, he's just trying to fit in the best he can but even he can't cause of how people keep reminding him about his past as the Ice King.

I know what Finn did was irresponsible cause he just blindfolded Simon and led him into a forest but let me explain. He's lost Jake. And when Jake dies he was probably and most likely devastated since he lost the only person he was mostly close to a that was like a brother to him. That's his way of coping with stuff! But he doesn't know alot about Simon so he tried to do the one thing that helped HIM! He tried.

I was so HAPPY to see Marceline and Bubblegum again!

I find it very funny that Bubblegum's skin sticks to the tattoo gun.

Love Marceline's new hair cut as well.

I just Simon to be happy with his wife! Is that to much to ask!?😭

Also I think I catched a Steven universe reference when Cake came out Simon's hair.

This episode was heavy and full of emotion to unpack and I think I like that!

I love the series so far and hope more of it soon!

Also I'M BACK!

[7ndipity]

I saw that ask and poll about who was going to marry first, and I immediately thought to that short period of time everyone was convinced Namjoon was married and had kids.

That's not the reason I chose him tho. I did because I think he'd find "the one" first. Or better said he will make "the one" out of the person he chooses. He'll be so madly in love with this person that he doesn't care anymore. He decides that they're the one rather than waiting for some sort of specific reason or sign of the universe. I think Tae and maybe JK would wait for such a sign. That's also why I think Tae specifically will be the last one to marry. He'd be very picky in who he chooses to marry? He won't date much either because he dates to marry, and not to break up. So if he doesn't see marriage potential, he's not putting time and effort in dating you. (I am totally not projecting here or anything 🙄😂)

Jk would also want to wait for a sign but I think he would feel it more than that it's a sign from the universe. Almost like an epiphany? You'd be doing karaoke at home and you'd be singing and he'd look at you and as if he was just punched in the face with his feelings realises you're the one he wants to mary and spend the rest of his life doing karaoke in the living room.

Jin I think would be kind of traditional in the sense it'd be just like the movies? He finds a partner, spends some time dating, can't really imagine his life with someone else, decides to go for it and propose. Be engaged for a while, have a wonderful wedding, and start the rest of his life with you. No fuss, it just happens naturally.

You wouldn't even be surprised when Hobi announces his engagement. He was always raving about them and was fantasising about marrying them early on the relationship. So no one bats an eye and just asks when the wedding is planned so they can keep the date free.

I somehow think people would be surprised to hear when Jimin is going to get married? I feel like he wouldn't make a big deal out of the relationship with you. Like he would casually announce he has a partner, and then casually bring them out for dinner to meet the gang. Everything is just kind of casual? Very romantic still tho. He'd pull out their chair at the dinner and have his arm on the back of their seat. It just looks like they've been together for forever. The engagement and wedding would have the same vibe.

Okay last but definitely not least. Yoongi would be a bit of a combination of Jin, Namjoon & Jimin? It's a very domestic relationship. Also not a lot of fuss, but like Namjoon, he'd decide that the person he loves will be the one for him. He'd ask for help planning the proposal because he wants to surprise you and be very romantic, some may even say cheesy. So that might be a big thing, but in the way that he'd have a picnic in the park with fairy lights from Hobi and Jin helped with cooking all the meals and the maknae line would make sure everything looks cosy and soft and warm. Namjoon would help with preparing a "speech" when Yoongi wants propose. During the engagement and the planning of the wedding he'd be the person to back everything his partner wants and he would glare daggers at anyone saying they can't have what they wanted. Also the only person not to be afraid or too intimidated to reign you back in with the plans or tell you no. As long as he gets what he wants for the wedding (ie have the boys be his best men and maybe have Holly as flower dog), he's good with anything you want. He's whipped like that

Omg I love this!😭

I agree with you on most points, except maybe on Tae being the last to marry? Mainly bc I kinda see him having a similar epiphany moment like you described with Jk where the two of you are doing something simple or domestic together, like having dinner and talking abt your day, and he would just sorta realize that this is what he wants forever. You and him, together in that moment, are his sign.

And although he loves the idea of the big, romantic proposal(and he might still do that later, once he gets a ring), I think he would end up just saying it, right then and there, while the feeling is still strong in his mind, just "I want to marry you."

[bonjas]

season 2 predictions:

I feel like I saw way more behind the scenes stuff that I never saw in the actual show, leading me to believe that either A. they already knew they would get a season 2 and filmed it at the same time or B. what was originally filmed was split up, hence why it feels so choppy. BUT probably neither of these things are true I'm just projecting 😩 cuz I still can't wrap my head around this season

I predict season 2 will bring us back to the original plot of Armando and Betty dating on the down-low and sneaking around behind everyone's back and that's how they reignite their relationship, and it's gonna end in another wedding for them.

there's sooooo much to talk about from the last two episodes but I'm too tired to really dive in, I can only think in bullet points lmao:

did I miss something? why did all of a sudden Hugo end the union/strike? that made no sense 😩

how did Mila and them even know about the papero and how to get there.....again did I miss something lol (edit: I forgot they're the original Ecomoda bodegas, but still they were acting like they knew exactly who he was, how lol)

the timeline was so fucked up. so you're telling me they ended the strike, Mila finds out that night about her mom and dads past, the next day Betty goes on the trip to cartagena and they're doing the fashion show at the same time? how did it get done so fast?! no one bothered to ask their president if they could do it, had the funds for it, bothered to ask her to come? HUH????? 💀 showing random shots of sewing and fabric doesn't do shit to show the passage of time 😭😭

the ADR by the beach sucked so bad it looked AI generated lmao. I'd rather have shitty ocean wave audio like in the original lol

Armando's lawyer continues to make no fucking sense as to why she even wants to be with him, it's a useless storyline with no context other than "of course she'd want to be with Armando Mendoza" and just serves as a "see, he's changed he's not hitting on other women" plot device

Betty's lawyer at least got to be cute and have actual interactions with her that help us make sense as to why she'd wanna make out with him 🤪 do yo thang girl

mila and nacho practically living together - huh?????? this novela is HORRIBLE at timelines, sense of time moving, days passing, literally without them saying that we would assume that was their second time sleeping together. bad bad bad.

mila going through the same betrayal as her mom - sorry I rolled my eyes at that one 😭 trying to wrap everything up in a bow having Mila discover the truth by somehow magically guessing his password, finding everything, spilling the beans during the meeting, all in one episode trying to have us connect to her heartbreak, girl we never fucking liked him lmao!!!!!!!! he was always ick as fuck u have horrible judgement 😭

glad her and Betty have essentially mended things but lmfao still have no idea why she was sent off for 5 years like that's not an insignificant time frame, 15 to 20ish is a HUGE stage of life and to have missed that??? like what?? but they depicted Mila so terribly I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop every time there was a "sweet" moment between them because they didn't give me any reason to think she was being genuine, I think that's a huge failing on their part cuz they never showed the love between them only Mila hating her, right to shopping and hanging out, there was a huge disconnect for me.

Mario you were fired, armando "rejected" your firing but what are you even doing here bro

Jeff and his relationship and their drama with Mila is so blah why is it even in this. Mila you suck for kissing him knowing he has a gf wtf? Also her hairstyle at the fashion show was giving Troll doll what did they do to you girl!!!

not letting Betty have a moment with her dad to actually talk about the diary is such a cop out, it could have been a beautiful moment in him confessing that he still failed her after trying so hard to protect her and she married the man that caused her the most pain and she couldve been like yeah it's pretty fucked up it's why I'm getting a divorce, after all that I feel like he still didn't accept us as his family~ or SOMETHING. crumbs, it's all I'm asking.

Ignacio being a sibling instead of a nephew is sooooooooo duuuuuuuumb lmfao literally serves no other purpose than to make people go GASP!!!! no purpose.

I FORGOT TO BRING IT UP BEFORE, WHY DID THEY MAKE BETTY FALL DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AT ECOMODA LIKE THAT A WHILE AGO LMFAOOAAO WE ALREADY KNOW SHE'S CLUMSY YOU MAKE HER DROP OR CRASH INTO SHIT EVERY EPISODE

[amethystfairy1]

Hii, I just finished the Traveling Thieves AU and needless to say i love it.

There's just one question that I had while reading it was: since the different storylines seem to happen around the same time, is it just a coincidence that so many hybrids get freed/end up with masters that don't treat them like slaves? or does this happen all the time?

Also, Jimmy mentioned he was relatively weak for an avian and he escaped pretty easily. Did he get lucky, or were they not guarding him that much because he didn't seem threatening?

10/10 fic, i honestly love all your AUs and can't wait for the next parts

Hello, hello! ✨

Well, considering this is a situation of...let's see what, 5 enslaved hybrids within to an entire continent full of them? I think it's just our own forced perspective because the stories all revolve around them ending up with kinder masters/escaping...but I'm sure there are plenty of other relationships out there like the ones we are seeing in the stories with our little groups! And plenty that aren't. That's kind of the whole big dilemma of this cruel dark fantasy world. 😭

Let me put it this way, Jimmy is most certainly weak for an avian. That is true. But no, he didn't get lucky. Avians are the powerhouses of this AU, they are terrifyingly strong to the point that they the only specific subspecies of hybrid who are not allowed to live freely in the old continent. Other hybrids could, it wouldn't be easy and would be dangerous and they'd be at constant risk of getting kidnapped and sold into the trade again, but other hybrids could legally live free lives in the old continent.

For avians that is forbidden, because they're just way to terrifying. Jimmy is still stronger than any individual human or hybrid he could possibly come across, in a one-on-one fight he'd beat anybody...it's just other avians he stands no chance against. Basically he's the weakest of the strongest, if that makes sense. He feels weak and inferior as an avian, compared to other avians, and he expresses that, but that doesn't mean he's viewed as weak or unthreatening by humans.

Thanks for coming by, I'm so glad you enjoy my AUs! 💖