#at least this scene sort of had me thinking about how the wh characters would react to figuring out they are puppets
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I love the "existential dread of discovering you, your family/friends, and anything else you consider 'life', were created only for entertainment of someone else" topic in media!
Though with WH, we're not sure what Eddie's behavior is after making his 'discovery', I think it'd be interesting if we saw him tread that territory, maybe even confront Wally about it?
Reference photos below!
🐊.....🎊 !
#welcome home#eddie dear#wally darling#the amazing digital circus#pomni#gummigoo#wh eddie#wh wally#welcome home arg#welcome home fanart#welcome home puppet show#tadc pomni#tadc gummigoo#tadc#tadc fanart#making big assumptions w/what'll happen in WH in the future#but i liked the idea enough#at least this scene sort of had me thinking about how the wh characters would react to figuring out they are puppets#npcs...puppets....not being considered “alive” by our standards.....you know?#also as you can tell i got lazy with the last photo...but i still wanted to finish it....the struggle
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Yv  Acting AU PT 3
(this is pt 1)
(this is pt 2)
Slight NSFW warning⚠️⚠️
 Interviewer: this first question was submitted by @everything-redacted-and-others
(I answered the second question in the first part)
Interviewer: who forgets their lines the most 
Alphonse: Wow! What a tough question. I’m really going to have to think on this for a second….👀
Seth: Wh- don’t look at me like that!
Alphonse: Oh Kiss my candy ass! you know I’m right!
Seth: OK name one time! that I forgot my lines 
Sugarboo:  in the beginning of your birthday episode, when you and Alphonse were about to go beat the shit out of the goons and Charlie, almost All of the lines in the last episode of Campfire confessions WHICH YOU WROTE!
Alphonse: the conversation before I walked out of the bathroom in bittersweet, when you were in the recording booth for your werewolf special. Would you like me to continue? 
Seth: all right, ya pricks I get it 🙄
————————————————————————
Interviewer: these next questions were submitted by  @antipasto-the-theif
 Interviewer: Seth, what’s your favorite memory on set so far?
Seth: my favorite memory onset so far…..let’s see… OK I got one. it starts out Kind of sad. so basically.  our characters birthdays match our actual birthdays. and on my birthday Alphonse was out of town. You see He wasn’t supposed to be in my birthday video…so I was kind of upset…and all melancholy throughout most the day…until we’re filming and it’s the scene in the kitchen where sugar was supposed to be  the only one there and singing me happy birthday, and Alphonse just pops in!
Alphonse: did you honestly think I was going to miss my favorite cowboy’s birthday~
Seth: so somewhere, there is an outtake of me, spontaneously bawling my eyes out and running off camera to go hug Al 😅
interviewer: OK next question. So, Casper and Charlie, how many times was the prop weed just prop weed?
Casper: we are constantly high on set 
Charlie: like for real 
Casper: we both focus more when we are um…in the clouds..so Yuuri lets us
Charlie: and it’s not like smoked for six hours  before filming high..it’s more we split a special brownie at 5 AM and washed it down with a monster energy high. So we’re not like a danger.
Casper: but yeah, for the 420 video. yeah, that was real 
Charlie: BUT For my birthday, the brownies we were eating were normal brownies, and not special brownies because I was given some special birthday brownies, and wanted to eat them later after dinner..so I guess you could say those were prop brownies,
Interviewer: next question. Auron, the world wants to know the workout routine!
Auron: oh boy well I’m a father running after a toddler with a need for speed which pretty much replaces any sort of missed day at the gym. But other than that and other activities that may or may not involve my spouse…..it’s kind of embarrassing… when I was younger I wanted to be in the MCU and my mother had told me “well those kinds of actors have really strict workout routines. If you want to be like them, you gotta get that down”…… so after much research that’s what I’ve been doing since about 16 years of age…captain America I’m coming for your Brand
Interviewer: onto the next one. What’s the worst blooper you know of, Sugar-Boo?
Sugarboo: 😈 there’s a scene in bittersweet and it’s when Seth finds Alphonse about to essentially kill Charlie, and alphonse grabs Charlie’s face and…..he’s like really aggressive about it so when he grabbed his face, Charlie let out the most….porn star like-moan I have heard come from an individual…And we had to take a five because nobody could stop laughing!
Interviewer: onto the next one. Which cast mate is the least like the character they play??
Seth: I want to say Auron
Alphonse: yeah, yeah I can get behind that
Charlie: I mean, Finn swears like a sailor but other than that….yeah, I’d say Auron 
Seth: Yea Auron in real life is a very sweet man  with a Darlin spouse, and a daughter he adores 
Alphonse: yeah, nothing like the cold Dom boss that you see on the screen.
Charlie: he’s a real sweet guy and he takes time to listen to everybody and help everybody. He helps me with line delivery, helps Faust with costume designs, he helps Jackie with photography when it comes to these snazzy thumbnails we’ve been doing recently.
Alphonse: he’s a lot more like a really helpful and quirky art teacher versus a mysterious and dominant boss.
————————————————————————
Interviewer: the next three questions are from @oceanlue
Interviewer: what was rooks reaction during the shower part?
Rook: 🤭
Auron: you are a shameless Thot my dear~
Rook: A THOT is a Admirer without Action I AM A WHORE i act on my thoughts
Auron: here we go🙃
Rook: SO if you don’t know. I think this was mentioned before BUT…he’s my husband in real life 
Auron: I am. I am your husband
Rook: So when I saw him come out of the Dressing room in nothing but a towel….I Started Catcalling him like a construction worker🤣
Auron: IN FRONT OF EVERYONE no less
Rook: And Then Yuuri gave us the script for the shower scene and I Said OUT LOUD-
Auron: “AWOOGA!” quite enthusiastically…which I found odd because you see me like that EVERY DAY
Rook: Never gets old *Sips coffee*
Interviewer: did auron or rook trip on set
Auron: Yes I did! I completely tripped and fell into Alphonse And I’m so sorry for that!
Alphonse: IT WAS FINE. But that an’t the first time you tripped You also fell into the wall because you stepped on ya own Boot laces 
Interviewer: did auron actually cry in the car ride home?
Auron: yes that was the one time I cried in a scene that Didn’t end up in an outtake
Yuuri: I kinda felt bad too because I didn’t realize he was getting choked up until we finished and he asked for a tissue!
Auron: it’s not uncommon for me to get emotional during scenes like that. They’re lucky that I only got choked up. I would’ve full on sobbed if the scene went any longer. 
————————————————————————
Hope you all enjoyed 
Feel free to ask “interviewer” questions 
I do prefer reblogs and replies, but you can send an ask too if you want 
Make sure to check out pt 1&2 I love making these
I was not Abel to get to all the question I apologize for that🙏
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Heya! In which of the boys route do you think Yui was broken/hurt the most?
I always wanted to know which would be the worst scenario (route) for like.. an avarage girl irl . I know most girls would not survive there😅 but just wanted to know your opinion which of those 6 doors you would never open. Or 13 if we count all the characters.
// Since it's an otome game, it goes without saying that there will be a lot of plot armor and that the love interests can't really harm the heroine seriously throughout the route, regardless of what she does, because the plot would go nowhere like that. Most characters are jerks but not really that hard to handle, since they were known for scaring Yui rather than letting her get genuinely hurt. However there were certain Diaboys who were very scary, as it felt like they had no feelings of remorse or empathy.
Laito:
Can’t say that his HDB route is the worst thing Rejet has ever written (because it’s definitely not) but it baffled me how he was so okay with Yui breaking like that to the point where she lost all her will to live and only wanted to be set free from him. I mean, she literally tried to commit and he was just there not even intending to stop her bleeding veins despite being the one who cut them?? It’s true that in the Vampire Ending she doesn’t turn out that bad but after all, this is just because it’s fiction.
Kanato:
He was easier to understand than Laito because at least you were able to know that he had a soft spot for sweets and Teddy. Nevertheless, it was a bit too much how he kept stabbing Yui with the fork and a few chapters later, I’m pretty sure he stabbed Yui with a knife in more places as well. Still, it’s surprising how she turned out worse in his route, considering the fact that in the afterstory she kills innocent people—
Kou:
I love Kou but he was a literal demon in MB. I really hated how he made his fans bully Yui JUST FOR FUN. It wasn’t even any sort of punishment, he merely wanted to make her suffer. Another thing I couldn’t stand was how he kept putting Yui’s life in danger, only to make her prove her love. I understand wanting to test someone but it would have been way better if he actually saved Yui after seeing her do something dangerous. That way it would have proved that he cared for her yet he continued to watch her get hurt for him over and over again, without feeling any empathy. He was sorta redeemed at the end but yeah, most of his route was big yikes, especially since you wouldn’t have expected a cheerful and friendly idol like him to be such a wicked person.
Carla:
I like the Tsukinami family's desire to preserve their lineage but sorry, I must say that I find it repulsive that a 17-year-old would be forced to become pregnant out of the blue with strangers. I understand that Yui was partially to blame for Carla's anger and subsequent dungeon scene but that moment grossed me out sooo bad. She lost her will to live but Carla literally jumped on a depressed girl and was on the verge of rap€ing her, if his Endzeit didn’t kick in. He gets gradually better throughout his route but this scene left a sore taste in my mouth.
Kino:
Look, Kino is a great villain and a lot of fun, but his LE route was trash. Kino killed a child, mistreated Yui, abducted both Yui and Ayato, planned to sell Ayato to the church for execution, manipulated Yui and tortured Ayato. The pain he caused them both was immense and although I appreciated Yui calling him out, it's so sad that she was brainwashed. While it's true that Kino can be quite cute when he wants to, their romance was so rushed and forced because they didn't give us any reason why Yui would fall for him other than manipulation when Ayato, who was seen to care more about her than for himself, was right there. I wish they developed Kino’s feelings better, given that he straight up blackmailed Yui to become his, otherwise Ayato would had been killed, therefore Yui had no other choice but accept the situation. That’s why his CL route is way better.
I only mentioned 5 instead of 6 but that’s mostly because no other character came closer to them in terms of bad scenario. The rest of them felt decent in their routes for a game called Diabolik Lovers, lol.
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Farscape Rewatch - 2x07 and 2x08
Not my fave eps (in fact, 2x08 Dream a Little Dream is my least fave ep in the season and in my bottom three eps of the show) so not too much to say.
Home on the Remains 2x07
The start of D’Argo x Chiana, a glorious secondary ship.
I love the visuals of the pollen floating through the ship. I love that you can never feel entirely comfortable with Zhaan because underneath her calm, even good demeanor, there is madness waiting to peep out and the show never lets you forget it. Here it really manifests when she is in starvation mode and it’s scary and surreal and oddly beautiful. For Zhaan, like for many other of the characters, being good, doing good is not the default - it’s a conscious, hard-won choice and I love that. Second comment is that we get some glimpse into what Chiana’s life was before Moya, and why she was all spikes when she came on board. Her loyalty is manifest here as is her lack of self-worth: she is OK with whoring herself to get Zhaan a meal(!!!!!) (and I love how both John and D’Argo would much rather kill the guy). And so is her darkness: she kills the guy in a pretty gruesome way and doesn’t dwell on it for a second. I really do think she is the one who killed the Nebari keeper in the ep she first appeared. And also here is the start of Chi and D’Argo. I squealed at the kiss when I first saw it and get !!! on every rewatch. I loved how complicated this OTP was and how invested I was and how their flaws and strengths both intertwined into it.
And some of my fave quotes are here. I love Aeryn’s snide ‘I get to babysit the blooming blue bush and you get to play with your favorite little tralk’ and Crichton’s ‘you can eat anything if it’s fried’ is sort of a catchphrase in the Mousie household. I also love the scene with Rygel on the sled and Rygel biting John and John biting back. Yeah. This show was gloriously unhinged.
Not a favorite ep but enjoyable enough, which is more than I can say, with few exceptions for the ep that follows.
Dream a Little Dream 2x08
This is my most fast-forwarded S2 ep ever. Honest. Blah.
But even a truly bad ep has some glorious exchanges.
Anyway, this ep is largely a flashback by Zhaan about what happened to her, China and Rygel between end of s1 and start of s2. Zhaan goes crazy while being framed on planet of evil lawyers. Rygel and Chiana save her. Blah. End of flashback.
I’ve read someone say that the problem with this episode is that since it’s a flashback we have no tension. We know everyone will be OK. But I don’t think that is the case. After all, do we really expect Crichton et al to be bumped off at a random ep? No, but we still get excited about the eps (of course, DALD takes it further as we know everything will return to status quo we know now but still…) And we just a few eps ago had The Way We Weren’t which was largely set three years prior to the premiere episode and it’s one of the best eps of the season. For me, the flashback is not the problem. I think this is the ep that reiterated for me that while I find Zhaan and Rygel interesting in small dozes, an ep centered around them is not really my thing. And I love Chiana, but probably ditto unless she is interacting with someone other than them. Basically, my character order of preference goes: John, Aeryn, D’Argo, Chi etc etc. And an ep where my top 3 characters are absent (minus a very very cool hallucination) drags. The plot is also not scintillating. In fact, to call it simplistic with truly boring characters except for the regulars is to compliment it. Oh well, they can’t all be winners and Farscape had way less losers than most (after this ep, I adore every single ep until S4′s Coup by Clam - every single ep and that’s insane.) I do love Chiana and Rygel as trial lawyers, utterly hopped up and themselves in wiggle room exploitation. And the courtroom design is very neat. But that is about it.
Also, this is a small framing scene but I do love how, once again, John is the one who believes that talking it out helps. He gets more and more hardened but he still believes in talking it out, even if it’s now limited solely to those he loves (that is why in part the end of 2x22 DMD hits so hard - John lying there, agreeing to a procedure that will render him mute, because, as he says, there is nobody he want to talk to anyway and nothing to say. One of the worst times he’s been broken thoroughly; though he always manages to reassemble himself somehow.)
I do love Zhaan and John’s bond. I will always love Farscape for many reasons but one of them is creating all these powerful, complex women and not having them be love interests for the male lead. Crichton’s relationships with important female characters are varied - with Zhaan here she’s the older sister in so many ways - but except for Aeryn, they are never romantic, and very very rarely sexual (and if we remove Grayza where the sexual element is not by his choice, the rarity becomes even more pronounced) and I love that.
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finished natla!
mostly incoherent thoughts behind the cut. spoilers, obvi
overall rating: solid B, 7.5/10
alrighty, that’s done and dusted. overall it was pretty decent. if you’re on the fence about watching it, i’d say go ahead and give it a shot
let’s go with my complaints first lol
- the costuming kinda bothered me for some reason. like it was all very show accurate, but it just doesn’t translate as well to live action. it all looked like cosplay to me tbh
- sidelining sokka and katara for an entire episode was. a choice. i know they were sidelined once or twice in the og show but with such a limited amount of episodes i think it really took away a lot of what could have been used for further character development
- also not a fan of how they just offhandedly mentioned the other adventures but never showed them. i think a lot of my issues with the show will boil down to them simply not being able to fit everything in with their limited episode number
- and also that atla as a premise just isn’t good for live action. it’s just not. at its soul this show is a netflix money grab trying to piggyback off the success of atla
- i wasn’t a fan of the continued idea of “the avatar must work alone”. like bro that has never been true for any avatar. sure they carry the burden of being the avatar alone, but they aren’t supposed to work alone. all of the avatars before aang had friend groups!! let aang have friends jfc
- some of the spirit stuff was kinda goofy and not in a good way. idk it just didn’t hit the same way as in the og
- and my absolute biggest issue has to be with zuko not being saved by aang in the north pole. that is such a titular moment for zuko’s development and it was just thrown out. not a fan of that choice at all
- also i really hated sokka’s flashback scene. both because it doesn’t make as much sense continuity wise since ice dodging is a coming of age ritual and sokka wasn’t of age during that time, but also because hakoda would never speak about his son that way??? not the hakoda i know, at least
- as for smaller gripes: they made suki a nepo baby??? they almost killed momo??? appa really doesn’t feel like an actual character in this show, just a mode of transport
- the cave of two lovers plot was both put in book 1, and given to sokka and katara. while i love sibling relationship appreciation, they really shortchanged kataang in this show
- aang does like zero waterbending. in the og show he’s nearly a master at the end of book 1. in this show i think he’s only bent water in the avatar state. how can he move on to earth if he isn’t waterbending
- although i really enjoyed how they went about with sukka in this show, i feel like it could have been done differently to align more with the og. even though sokka is not sexist in this (which i don’t mind, it’s not nearly as much of his character as people claim it is), he’s still insecure about his ability to protect his tribe. i would have liked to still see him humble himself to suki, because he’s at first embarrassed to be beaten that easily but then comes to respect her abilities. they sort of tried to do that but without the humbling part, which i feel is an essential starter to their relationship
okay enough complaining onto what i liked
- i think the actors all did a great job with their characters
- the fight scenes were pretty great
- the bending also looked pretty good
- i think a warm hug from gyatso would fix me
- i know some people hated all the exposition stuff but i really liked it personally
- i enjoyed getting to see azula and her girls this early. also love baby face azula, it really adds to how fucked up the situation is because like. that’s a child
- i think the producers did fairly well in combining some of the episodes. it was interesting and didn’t feel too weird
- it’s fun that the producers also have all this extra atla universe knowledge now. there was stuff included in this that was only shown in the comics or in the kyoshi novels, which is very neat
- despite my prior complaints, like action sukka really did eat and leave no crumbs. i’m very excited to see more of suki, both because she’s my fav, but also because i think her actress did a really great job!
again, overall it was a fun, entertaining watch. it’s kinda like the atla sparknotes version. you get most of the plot, some of the charm. would i rewatch? i will rewatch episode 2 just because i want to see suki (and her milf mom). otherwise, eh, probably not, i’d rather rewatch the og
though i will be adding these three things specifically to my personal atla canon:
- oma and shu are lesbians
- the 41st division 🥺
- milkbending is a thing
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HELP. rewatching ep 3 and. was reminded of this post . and there was a bit of going off that happened in the tags but they felt unfinished so now we’re diving in all over again.
so the part latched onto (this time) happens before khonshu tells marc to take the kid to the ledge- when Marc wakes up after having stabbed Goon #1 & #2 is already down for the count and turns and sees The Kid (Goon #3) and he . he has his little panicked moment (‘…wh-what..? -oh my god- oh, god- steven, what did you do??’) and steven tells him to sod off it wasn’t him (really, marc- you’re covered in someone else’s blood and you immediately think it’s steven who had anything to do with your little blackout??) - and then The Kid/Goon #3 groans, and he groans loud- too loudly to be ignored and it’s Back To The Grind. Marc puts his Khonshu hat back on , he turns around. His hand is clenched around the knife’s handle. his eyes are narrowed and his brows are drawn- he’s readying for the next fight.
And then he sees it’s The Kid. he sees the kid as a kid. not as Goon #3. suddenly the khonshu hat is almost flung free of his head- you can see it in Marc’s eyes, in the way his movements slow, in the way he recalibrates, the way he reevaluates his options bc . he doesn’t wanna hurt a kid. hell, tbh i don’t think marc wants to hurt anyone , anymore, i think he’s tired of the blood. (u really get a sense of Marc’s hesitation via the gifs in the ref’d post , it’s heartbreaking. but gratitude for gif-makers bc over-analysis of character expressions is a fond pastime while we wait for season 2 rip)
(also uh quick aside: khonshu says this line, something like ‘I know you enjoy the work I have for you’. this .. never sat right. maybe before- … maybe. but this marc spector? he doesn’t seem to enjoy this very much at all. not like, the way I think he enjoys existing with layla, or the way one would enjoy a picnic or catching sight of a wishing star or little things like that . but then again, i don’t think marc spector quite knows how to enjoy little things just yet- im not quite sure he understands that not everything comes with a price, and certainly not true joy. that kind of happiness can come free if you know where to look. ok tangent over)
Back to the scene, it’s about 9 mins in- Marc turns, sees it’s the kid. and he drops the fucking knife.
there have been a few in-depth watches of this scene before bc we had been curious as to the way Marc uses weapons (hint: he fucking doesn’t this man uses his fists and that’s it in this particular scene at least). not sure why we glossed over this bit or why it hits hard(er?) now, but. no wonder jake took over, of course jake would leave the kid alive- he does it for more reasons than we can count but for sure we know he keeps the kid alive cos he knows it would kill Marc to have blood of that sort join the stains in their bathroom sink ya know?
It’s just, ironic that Marc still. ends up with that kids death on his hands . that Marc. cant be trusted sometimes, not with hands Jake Lockley is more accustomed to. tsk. anyways - TLDR marc is tired of the bloodshed, jake has to take over and fill in a lot more now than perhaps ever before (and it’s not going unnoticed anymore) bc of it, and now Steven’s gotten mixed up in the mess and it’s. it’s killing me all over again . bc marc does literally everything he can to like. not hurt this kid. and he still ends up with three dead goons anyways. sigh.
#sorry to go insane over the same things all over again but hey !! this time im forcing it on everyone#not just going over and over it in the brain ksjfkfhskff#moon knight tag but make it like. feral#moon knight#moon knight meta#(ish?)#scheduling this post for l8rs g8rs#so i don’t hafta think abt it any more lmao
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i watched legends of tomorrow 4.14 a few days ago and ive been dragging my heels on making a post about it bc i didnt quite connect with it in the way i expected to and im having trouble figuring out why. i think the biggest issue is that when mick commands gideon to fire, i just didn’t buy that as a decision he would make because i don’t think he’s that ruthless toward his team anymore. especially not after the self-actualization he experienced after coming out as rebecca silver. so because i didn’t buy that decision, i found it hard to become invested in his conflict with sara. although i really like the relationship between sara and mick and seeing how they clash, in this case their argument didn’t ring true to me because it was based on a decision i did not believe mick would make. so i had trouble connecting with it.
i did like that the waverider got stuck under a bunch of ice. reminded me of the star trek voyager episode where that happened. i think this plot in this episode was meant to showcase a very divided team learning to come back together, but that didn’t really work for me because the team hadn’t seem all that divided in the first place. so something about this storyline felt sort of hollow and false.
another function of this plotline was to reminisce on how much the team has changed and how far they have come. i feel like it’s the snart jackets that first hint at this, and i love that they wear these jackets, it gave just the right kind of bittersweetness. and then of course mick and sara discuss how they’re the last of the original members of the team and talk about how things have changed. i did think that was a sweet scene, i just wish it had fit better in the episode and felt more logical. and then they play cards to save the timeline (i want to play that game so so bad) and that also makes them reminisce. all this reminiscing makes sense in an episode that is toward the end of the season for a show that has big plans for the future, but it didn’t quite seem to fit in with the plot and characters for this episode. i wish the episode had been able to execute this better, but it ended up being kind of a flop for me.
i also was not a huge fan of the constantine plotline for this episode. it felt extremely predictable, and lazy in a way i wouldn’t have expected from this show. i get that the show needed to make constantine realize that he should stop sending magical creatures to hell indiscriminantly, but this was about the most cliche way they could have set about doing that. i think it’s to the actor’s credit that he was able to make me actually feel for constantine toward the end in the scene where the pooka heals him. i gotta admit i did love when he fell into hell to rescue ray. it’s interesting how constantine attemps self-sacrifice at both the beginning and end of this episode. but the first time it is out of desperation and a conviction that he can’t save ray, and the second time it is out of hope and the belief that he can save ray. the second one reminded me of snart sacrificing himself at the end of season 1 tbh. very hanged man of him.
i did enjoy the bureau plotline, i think it was probably my favorite of all of them this episode. gary with his demonic confidence was so creepy!!!! it was kind of fascinating to see. i liked the focus on mona as she investigates the conspiracy, i was reminded that she was a big x-files fan lol. i also liked the interactions between mona and nora, i think nora is especially good in comedy scenes. i’m glad the book club teamed up to defeat gary and his evil nipple. i also noticed that “cool gary” wore his hair differently???? at least i think he did. also i liked how mona was like “not to stereotype, but what if ava has been replaced by a clone???” now that she said that, i really really really want to see an episode where a clone impersonates ava. the suspense! the dramatic irony!
ummmmm the only other thing i remember from this episode was nate and zari having sex which was like fine i guess. i do think it’s funny that zari called him “dude” right before they had sex. i wonder if zari thought about that time when she overheard nate and amaya having sex in the library and she was so grossed out.
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now
Summary: “Now— do you like it?” Simon asked (still making jazz hands).
Oh, no, he liked it. But Simon had made a tiny mistake. And it wasn’t like he wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. It was just that… if he had a coin for every time Simon had made that exact mistake, he would have two coins. Which wasn’t a lot of coins; but it was funny it happened twice.
And there it was. Again. The infamous latticework pie.
AO3
Hello, friends! Obsi here. I want to start this author note by saying this fic is a birthday gift for Rita (@the-wee-woo-rita), a fandom friend of mine that I hold dear to my heart since the day they started to constantly appear in my notes and hasn't stopped since <3 Forgive me if I spent the rest of my time covering the birthday kid with invisible virtual kisses:)
Aaaah, Rita:') Feliz cumpleaños, amigue✨ I hope you have an amazing day and that you're reading this while your family and friends are giving you tons of presents and kind words <3 I gotta confessed that I noticed you almost since you entered the fandom bc you were always on my notes, so every time I saw your icon, I was like "Oh, Wee Woo is here <3". oH AND WHEN YOU STARTED YOUR FIC DKJFHKJFKJDF I wanted to read it since you started posting it, and when I finally could, it left me 💖💖💖. Not only because it's a super fun story, (go read it if you haven't, people) but also because I can tell you're writing from the heart and you're as invested in Hugh and Simon's relationship as I am skjdhksd one time I even cried because I felt so proud of you for writing it lol
I guess that you already know what this fic is going to be about. When you told me this is your favorite scene of these pair of idiots and knew I had to write something for you about it sdkjfhjksdf it came out really fluffy and funny, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did <3
Never stop writing. You got this✨ Enjoy your gift!!
When Hugh first started dating Simon, he didn’t know if he wanted to marry him. If someone had asked him, he wouldn’t have known how to answer, and everyone would have thought he was a dick, when in reality, he just hadn’t thought about that. He hadn’t sorted out his life yet.
Not like other people.
She had her life sorted out. At least most of it. Hugh certainly wouldn’t have been able to take care of a child when he was that age, but from the moment Adrian was born, his mom was there for him. She told him she was able to know if he was asking for food, if he needed another diaper, or if he just wanted to see her.
“But how do you know that if he cannot even talk?” he asked her.
“One just knows,” she answered. “If you ever become a dad, you’ll understand.”
And it sounded like a threat. Because at that age, Hugh also didn’t know if he wanted to have kids or not.
Simon, on the other hand, did. He was a mess in almost every single area of his life (like him), but he did know he wanted to have kids and to get married to someone. And it wasn’t like he was trying to scare Hugh the first months they started dating. Simon didn’t talk to him about his plans for the future until they had been together for more than a year. The only reason he knew about them was that he overheard a conversation Simon was having with… with Georgie, on one of the few occasions she was able to take a break from her baby.
At first, Hugh didn’t feel something particularly strong about what he heard. He actually kind of forgot about it for a couple of hours, until he went to sleep.
In his dream— or nightmare, which was a more accurate term, he was in the kitchen trying to bathe baby Kasumi in the sink, but she kept playing with the water and wetting his clothes, even when he tried to tell her to stop. Then, he heard Tamaya screeching his name and when he turned around to see what was happening, Evander (who was the only one whose age didn’t change, so he was a teenager bullying a four-year-old girl) was trying to pluck off the feathers of her wings, with all the intention of hurting her. Kasumi threw more water at him, so he grabbed her, all wet and everything, to try to follow Tamaya and Evander to the living room and stop them from fighting, but then, Georgie, who was at least 9 years old in the dream, pulled his hoodie, and told him:
“This is for you—” and pointed at a newborn baby she had just left on the floor.
Adrian.
Her newborn baby.
“No, that’s not mine, that’s yours,” he said. “That’s yours, Georgie, pick him up.”
She crossed her arms. “You pick him up.”
Then, Tamaya started screaming again, and Evander was freaking laughing, but he couldn’t leave Adrian on the floor, so he handed a crying Kasumi to Georgie, asking himself why the fuck Simon wasn’t around the house to help him with the kids.
When he bent over to pick the baby up, Simon decided it was a good time to appear, spank him and ask him: “Where are my cigarettes, goldilocks?”
And that was enough to wake him up.
It took him a couple of seconds to process what he was seeing. Georgie was sitting on the basement stairs, feeding Adrian and singing a song to him. Evander and Kasumi were sleeping under the same colorful blanket, while Tamaya was sitting on the side of the bed, gazing at her friend and moving her head side to side, as if she were singing too.
“Hey,” Georgie called him. “Are you ok, darling?”
He opened his mouth slightly and when he was about to tell her he had a nightmare, Simon turned around and grabbed him by the arm, still asleep.
It was cute enough for him to stop being mad at him for something he did in a dream. “Yes, I’m okay. Everything’s okay.”
Maybe it had something to do with age, but the thing was that Hugh didn’t dream that often anymore. One time he told Simon that, despite that, he still had nightmares in which he couldn’t move his body but he was aware of his surroundings, just as if he were awake. Simon frowned and said that didn’t sound like a nightmare, but more like sleep paralysis. Hugh thought it sounded a little bit psychedelic and told him he didn’t believe in those things, to which Simon reacted as if he just confessed he was an Earth-flatter.
He couldn't quite understand why Simon acted as if he were some sort of dream expert. Simon told him it was because he was a dream expert, or at least he was more of an expert than Hugh was, since he got a lot more sleep than he did, and it was true. Hugh couldn’t remember the last night he slept without spending two hours staring at the dark and empty room, while he heard Simon’s body rubbing the blankets from time to time.
“You know, I don’t think that’s normal,” Simon told him when they were driving back home from the Headquarters. “I think you should see a therapist.”
Simon said that a lot, too. It wasn’t bad advice per se, but for some reason, it drove him crazy every time he said it, even if he didn’t show it (or at least he liked to believe he didn’t). He remembered that occasion, specifically, because he had had a particularly bad day at work when they had that conversation about sleep paralysis. Kasumi and Evander decided that was a wonderful day to act as if they were the main characters of their new show “Dumb and Dumber”, trying to convince him to get couches for their offices with a slide presentation and everything, and Tamaya was acting like a particularly angry pregnant woman that hated everything that moved, especially if that thing was Hugh. He hadn’t gone completely feral with Kasumi and Evander (even if they kind of deserved it) and just told them to stop trying to kill the last brain cell they shared, but even so, they reacted as if Hugh had done something super offensive and if he were the one who was wasting everyone’s time. He had been even kinder with Tamaya because, yeah, she was being irrational, but at the same time, she was pregnant, and being a dick to a pregnant woman wouldn’t have been very heroic of him. Still, Tamaya didn’t even try to get her hormones under control and was actually devastated when he brought her the wrong kind of gyro from the store. She even cried and took the rest of the day for herself, which was something she had the right to do, obviously.
But anger is a bitch and one of those emotions that takes the best of you, so a little voice inside his head that took control of his consciousness every time he got mad at someone, was telling him that he should ask Simon if his therapist had told him that it wasn’t normal to wake up in the middle of the night to see if your kid was still breathing.
Because it didn’t sound normal to him.
He didn’t do it though. Maybe he was too tired.
Being angry took a lof a lot of energy.
He was still curious about whether Simon had ever told his therapist about that or if he had normalized it so much, that he didn’t think it was important to mention it. He had been doing that since the first night he met him when they were still a pair of kids. The first night they slept together, in Simon's basement, he woke him up in the middle of the night and sighed with relief.
“Good, you’re alive,” he mumbled. And then went back to sleep, as nothing happened.
Hugh thought it was quirky and funny. Now he believed it may be a real psychological problem.
His suspicion was confirmed that same night after having that conversation when he woke up at 3AM to go get a glass of water and realized that Simon had left the bed. He assumed he was at Adrian’s room, so he didn’t think too much about it and went downstairs, without bothering to turn the lights on. After all, he couldn’t die if he tripped with his own feet because his powers would protect him (and if he did, it would be the stupidest of deaths and he deserved it.)
He took a glass cup (because plastic cups were only for kids), filled it with water, and when he turned around to go back to his room, Simon flickered, and he could see him right in front of him, with his dagger in hand, as if he were about to stab him.
“SIMON, WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Simon flickered again and let go of his dagger at the same time he started crying and hugged him while mumbling he thought he was a robber that wanted to “kill everyone in the house and then himself.”
Hugh could only hug him back.
Simon didn’t try to stab him again, but he still had a weird sleep schedule. Hugh, on the other hand, was sleeping a lot better now that his psychiatrist had shown him this amazing invention called citalopram.
A week before their tenth anniversary, he was about to fall asleep when Simon entered the room, got under the covers, and hugged him from behind, pressing his body against his.
“Si, it’s 2AM.”
“How do you want to celebrate our anniversary?”
He asked that question with the same tone he used when he asked Max and Adrian what they wanted to do during their birthdays. Or when he asked Nova if she wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving with them, or when he tried to convince Kasumi and Tamaya to do something fun for Christmas that year.
And Hugh answered him the same thing the others did:
“I don’t know.”
He knew being ten years married to the same person was something that should be celebrated. And he also knew Simon didn’t mean any harm by asking those things, even if they may have seemed a little bit oblivious to the fact that life as they knew it had almost ended during the supernova. Actually, he believed he asked them that because he was completely aware of what had happened and, for instance, he was trying to fix all the things the burning stardust had destroyed, covering the ears of the people he loved, hugging them, and telling them that things couldn’t be that bad if they still could have a little piece of cake to celebrate even the smallest of events.
That gave him an idea.
“I think I just want to eat cake with you,” he mumbled.
“Cake?”
“I like cake. Except when it’s wet.”
Simon snorted. “Do you remember when Oscar invited Adrian to his birthday party and he gave him a pound of cake for him to share it with us?” he asked.
Hugh remembered that. “I do.”
“And do you remember you hated it?”
“It was more milk than cake.”
“Pastel de tres leches,” Simon said, with almost no American accent.
In other circumstances, he would’ve found that voice really attractive, but now the memory of that stupid cake was too much for him. “You know, I think there is where the fucking problem begins,” he told him. “What’s the need of adding three leches? One leche is more than enough.”
Simon tried to contain his laugh and failed. “Why do you pronounce leche like that?”
“It’s not natural, Simon,” Hugh insisted. “Cake is cake. And cake is supposed to be dry.”
“Well, I loved it.”
“You love everything. Even those who are unlovable.”
“Oh, sweetie. You’re not unlovable.”
“I know. I’m talking about the fucking cake.”
Simon stayed silent and Hugh laughed to let him know it was okay.
“So you want to keep it simple this year?” Simon asked him.
“I think that would be the most… appropriate thing to do.”
“All right then—” he pretended to use his finger to write on his back “—No tres leches cake… And keep it simple. Something else, your Majesty?”
“No, I think that’s all.”
“What about gifts?”
“I’m a simple man. I like blue, I like silver things that look like chrome, and I like myself. Go crazy.”
Simon gasped. “Or I could bake something for you,” he said. “I could make a little dinner for us… with your favorite cake.”
He couldn’t tell if Simon was being serious, but he hoped he did because— that actually sounded really nice. “What about the kids though?”
“Pssh, let’s just put them to bed early,” Simon answered. “Max’s bedtime is 9:30 anyways.”
“Are you—”
“Let me do something nice for you,” he interrupted him. “Please.”
Hugh sighed
“I’m being serious. I’m going to make your favorite cake,” Simon assured him, holding him closer to him.
And then it hit him. “Do you know—”
“Of course I know your favorite cake, love,” he giggled. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Hugh wanted to keep talking to him, but he started to notice his eyes were getting tired and that he wasn’t going to be able to keep them open a lot longer.
Simon kissed his shoulder. “Are you going to sleep now?”
“Yeah. But turn around,” he added. “I want to be the big spoon.”
The next morning, while Simon was looking for his mask before heading to work, Hugh realized he never told him what he wanted for their anniversary, so he took that moment to ask him. Simon just said that he would love anything Hugh got for him, which was honestly the worst answer ever because Hugh was the worst person when it came to guessing that sort of stuff, and needed to know specifically what they wanted so he wouldn’t end up giving them a shitty gift.
But then, he realized that it was a gift for their tenth anniversary. And when he gazed at Simon again, he noticed he was already looking at him through the small mirror they had hanging on their closet door, with a small smile on his face, letting him know that he had noticed the moment Hugh remembered what they did each year during their anniversary.
There was a tradition Simon heard about when they were planning their wedding, that it was all about giving a gift made of certain material according to the marital year. He didn’t tell him about it until a year later when they were talking about what they were going to do to celebrate that year, and for some reason, they ended up talking about when they met.
Unfortunately, Hugh could no longer remember when was the first time he saw Simon. It was like one day, he just walked into his life, laid down on a twin-size mattress, and just started to exist there without asking for permission because he didn’t know where he was yet. And Hugh was staring at the kid with brown skin, brown hair, and brown eyes, while hiding behind a big closet he kept there, thinking about how to tell him “Hello. What’s your name? I’d really like to know about you.”
Too bad he always stopped at “Hello”. Too bad it all happened inside his head.
When he was a kid, not a lot of people talked about prodigies in a positive light, so he grew up thinking that his powers were something he needed to keep a secret for everyone and that he had to blend in with the other kids in order to survive, and there was no adult in his life that told him otherwise. But during the Age of Anarchy, the whole Council began to know more prodigies from all over the world, who had different beliefs about what it meant to be a prodigy. During patrol, Simon told him about this old European lady he talked to, who was also a prodigy, and assured him she would be able to recognize every single one of them even without their superhero costumes. When Hugh said that sounded a little bit dangerous, Simon laughed it off and added that what she meant to say was that all prodigies were made of the same stardust and that it was always trying to find a way back to the space where it belonged, that was the reason why many prodigies were drawn to each other even if they just crossed paths by mere chance.
If it was true, then it explained why Hugh could tell Simon was a prodigy from the first moment he looked him in the eye. And it explained why he wanted to be his friend so much, even before knowing that piece of information.
Simon did remember when was the first time he saw Hugh. Or at least one of the first times.
“You were sitting on the ground and staring at a bug. like a beetle or something...” he said. They were walking through the neighborhood, holding hands, and Adrian was in front of them, trying to get the hang of his new skate shoes with wheels. He had asked his dads to give him his space because he had seen another kid at Headquarters using them too and he was sure he could teach himself how to use them. “ And you were really concentrated, completely quiet when an adult came and killed it.”
“Fuck,” he whispered. “Like— on purpose?”
“I don’t know, they were just walking,” Simon shrugged. “But you didn’t even say anything, just… stayed there. And a raccoon walked in front of you, and you decided to follow it to the trash can he lived in, and when you tried to touch it, he and his whole extended family threw themselves at you.”
Hugh probably looked worried or something, because Simon tilted his head and asked him: “You remember that, do you?”
And he didn’t. “It sounds like me,” he said, “I liked beetles when I was a kid. Not sure about the raccoon attack though because I’ve always hated raccoons and getting too close to trash cans.”
“And have you ever stopped to think about why you hate that so much?”
“Because trash cans are a focus of infection. Same as raccoons. I would never follow one of those rats with masks.”
“Hugh, when you were a kid, I saw you eating cereal out of a bucket, I don’t know why you’re acting like you’re better than the rest of us for not following raccoons— which you did.”
“I did not.”
“And you know what I thought?” Simon asked as if he hadn’t heard Hugh. “I thought—”
“You thought I was a poor kid who needed your help.”
“No, I thought you were the weirdest fucking kid I had ever met. And I walked away.”
Then he winked at him, letting him know he was joking. But Hugh felt really offended on behalf of his younger self anyways. “And why do you remember that but I don’t?”
“I was invisible. And I wanted to see what you were up to.”
Then, Adrian fell to the ground and screamed “DADDY!”. Neither of them was really sure of who he was talking to, so they just helped him get on his feet again and told him he should be more careful, ending their conversation there.
That year, he gave Simon a card he bought at the supermarket that he decorated with raccoon stickers he found on Adrian’s backpack, and he even used all his artistic abilities to draw a speech bubble that said “I love you”. Simon also gave him a card, but instead, it was decorated with hearts and flowers and looked a lot more like what a card for an occasion like that was supposed to look like. They gave each other cards because the first-anniversary gift, according to tradition, was something made of paper. He could tell what Simon gave him every single year, but some of the honorable mentions were the leather jacket he never used because Kasumi told him that buying things made of leather was unethical and “not green”, a wooden figurine of the two of them he found at a local flea market, and a pottery coffee mug he did himself when he and Tamaya took pottery classes, which Evander broke one day he went to the house.
So, yes, Simon always gave him nice things. And he kept every single one of them. The card was between the album photos and newspaper cutouts. The leather jacket remained in the closet not to be seen ever again. The wood figurine was in the living room (and will stay there even after he was dead because if Adrian ever dared to take it somewhere else, like he had tried to do before, he was going to haunt him until he put it back where it belonged), and eventually, Evander glued together the pottery coffee mug and gave it back to him, probably trying to make clear he was really sorry about breaking it, without really saying it out loud.
It was a nice tradition. Especially because it was almost impossible to fuck up and Hugh could come up with nice gifts for Simon too.
And now it wasn’t going to be the exception.
That year’s traditional theme was aluminum. At first, he was a little bit confused because the only aluminum he knew about was the aluminum foil they had in the kitchen until he spoke with Tamaya over the phone, and she told him there were a lot more things that were made of aluminum other than foil. She had stayed at her house ever since what had happened in the Arena. Simon told him and Kasumi it would be nice if they took turns to call her one time a day to check on her, and that day, it was Hugh’s turn.
She wasn’t mad at him, which meant she was having a less shitty day than other times it had been his turn to call her. She even gave him the phone number of a place where he could buy something for Simon, that was not so far away from Headquarters. Before hanging up, she reminded him to make sure Kasumi was eating during lunch breaks and made him promise he was going to double-check, just because that's what she would do if she were there. After doing what Tamaya asked him to do (Kasumi started to eat her salad as soon as he walked into the room, and he stayed there until she finished the whole plate), he called the store and knew exactly what he wanted to ask for.
It had been a little difficult to pick it up from the store because Simon was always with him, but the anniversary was on Sunday, so he said that someone had called him to go to Headquarters and headed out before anyone could ask for more explanations. He arrived at the store a few minutes before they closed and the owner told him he wasn’t sure if he was going to arrive on time. Then, he proceeded to show him the final product, and Hugh thought it looked exactly as what he had in mind. The daughter of the owner put the gift inside a box and decorated it with purple wrapping paper and a silver bow, and it was ready to go.
When he arrived at the house, Simon was already preparing dinner and the kids were eating ramen in the living room while watching a movie. He put the gift on the coffee table and told them it was time to get ready for bed.
Simon and Hugh had always been good at assigning each of them chores to do around the house. When Max was living in his quarantine area, Hugh stayed with him after Simon and Adrian went home. He bathed him, helped him brush his teeth, and then put him to bed. Meanwhile, Simon cooked something for Adrian, helped him with his homework, played with him for a while, and when Hugh went home, he helped him with his night routine the same way he had helped Max, while Simon prepared tomorrow’s lunches.
Adrian was a pretty calm kid during bath time (at least most of the time). He would dare to say he liked it, probably a little too much because he didn’t bathe himself until he was almost ten years old. Max, on the other hand, was a completely different story. It was a lot easier to control him when he was a baby, but the older he got, the more difficult it became to get him inside the tub. He tried to distract him with other things, made a lot of excuses, and even hid under the bed so his dad couldn’t see him. Simon thought it wasn’t a normal reaction and that they needed to make sure Max was alright, but Hugh didn’t believe Max’s behavior was weird because when he was a kid he threw even bigger tantrums each time he was told it was bath time. He screamed while he had shampoo on his hair, bawled while he was putting on his pajamas, and sobbed for at least ten minutes after he was tucked into bed. At the ripe age of four years old, he went as far as running down the street completely naked because he was already in the tub, waiting for his aunt to find a clean towel between all the mess they had around the house when he decided that wasn’t going to work out and just walked outside the house, without wearing any clothes. A minute later, he heard his aunt screaming “HUGH, YOU LITTLE BITCH—” and knew he was in danger, so he began to run as fast as he could until he tripped and he was taken back to the bathroom (while he screamed and kicked, like the demon child he was.)
“Well, I guess it makes sense why you acted like that,” Simon answered, “but I want to make sure everything is fine with Max. For my own comfort.”
Simon talked with Max the next day, and apparently, he came to the conclusion he was just someone who thought that bathing was a waste of time, like Hugh did when he was his age. His kid just showed it in a less… explosive manner. Because yeah, Max had never thrown a tantrum because of that. Not at least until the other night, when Simon told him to go take a shower after he spent the whole day outside with Nova and got his clothes all dirty. For some reason, Max got super pissed at the idea of his own father giving him a reasonable order, and after going to the bathroom and taking off his clothes, he started to yell that he was already clean and that he didn’t need to take a shower. Hugh and Adrian were in the living room talking about some mundane topic when they saw a naked and almost maniac Max running around the house, and a screaming and desperate Simon with a white towel in his hands, trying to catch him before he headed out of the house and the neighbors saw him.
Simon almost had a panic attack after that, when Adrian finally was the one to catch Max and convince him to go take a shower, because in his own words, “you smell like a dead dog, my friend” (Adrian knew what he was dealing with because he had done the same thing when he was a kid). And Hugh didn’t want Simon to go through the same experience again, especially that night.
“I was a well-behaved kid,” Simon told him, while they cuddled under the covers. “I almost never cried. And I most certainly never complained about bath time.”
“Everyone has a childhood story that involves running around completely naked because you didn’t want to get on the tub.”
“I don’t… think so.” Hugh scoffed in response. “Actually, I was so well-behaved, one time my mom closed the car door and smashed my fingers, but I didn’t even complain about it—”
“You should have complained about it,” Hugh said.
Simon didn’t hear him. “I think maybe Max is just going through a phase.”
“Or maybe our son is a normal kid and you are the Antichrist for not crying when your mother smashed your fingers.”
And he whispered: “Well— maybe, I guess.”
Luckily, Max was feeling nice and he followed the night routine without causing any more problems, and just asked Adrian to read him a bedtime story. Forty minutes later, Adrian went back downstairs and told them he was going to sleep too (but Hugh knew he was going to stay up late talking with his team.)
Simon took a few minutes after that to finish the dinner because the dessert was still in the oven. Hugh waited for him, sitting on the couch, eating the leftovers of Adrian’s ramen and watching whatever thing was on TV, when suddenly had the feeling someone was staring at him. He turned around and even though he didn’t saw anyone, he still said:
“Simon, I know you’re there.”
And he got no answer.
Then, when he decided to let it go and continue watching TV, Simon was sitting on the coffee table, with the gift box on his lap.
“Can you stop doing that?” Hugh asked him.
“No, it’s part of my charm—” Simon shook the box a little, like a kid would do on Christmas morning “—Is this my gift?”
“No. I bought it for my other husband. But you can open it, I guess.”
Simon shrugged and opened it. He gasped and covered his mouth with his hand, but he still could tell he was smiling. “Love—”
“You like them?”
Hugh had bought a couple of aluminum wine cups, decorated with a blue and purple stripe on the top. He extended his hand to turn on the lamp next to him and then patted the space next to him. “You wanna see something really cool?” he asked him.
Simon sat down next to him, holding one of the cups. Then Hugh grabbed him gently by the wrists and put the cup under the light, allowing both of them to see the hidden message written on the aluminum.
He couldn’t exactly read it because he wasn’t wearing his glasses, but Simon could.
“I’ll forever choose you,” he read. “It’s what—”
“It’s what I said during my vows,” Hugh answered, “and I still mean it.”
Simon leaned against him and Hugh took it as a chance to kiss him on the corner of his lips. “I’m going to kill your other husband,” Simon whispered.
“I don’t think you got it— but actually you’re the other husband.”
“I’m allowing you to make those jokes because I’m too happy to pretend I’m mad at you for saying them, okay? Just wanted to make that clear, so you don’t go around trying to push your luck.” He continued looking at the cup and putting it under the light to read its message again and again. “Can we use these cups? You know— are they made for drinking or are they just decorative?”
“I guess we can,” Hugh answered. “I don’t see why not. Cups are made for drinking.”
“Then it’s a good thing I brought us wine—” he got up with difficulty and grabbed the other cup from inside the box “—Are you hungry?”
He really wasn’t. Adrian’s leftovers were enough for him. But he still had a little space for more, so he nodded and took Simon’s hand before he got on his tiptoes and put his hands over his eyes. “Follow my lead.”
Even after arriving at the kitchen, Simon asked him to keep his eyes closed. He obeyed, and a couple of seconds later, he finally gave him the sign to open them, appearing behind the kitchen bar and waving his empty hands with a silly smile on his face.
Hugh covered his whole face with his hand to hide the fact that he was laughing.
“Now— do you like it?” Simon asked (still making jazz hands).
Oh, no, he liked it.
But even if he did, he could hear his own voice saying inside his head to make sure to sugarcoat whatever he had to say about one small detail that, unfortunately, was the first thing he noticed because he was that mean.
It was an amazing dinner. The main dish was chicken alfredo, and there was a small basket with bread from the supermarket they went every week to buy groceries (the same one Hugh didn’t go to anymore because last time he had almost hate-crimed a cashier because… reasons, maybe). He had lighted up some candles they kept around the house in case the power went out during the night and there was a white tablecloth covering part of the kitchen bar. Simon also took the time to look through the garage for the chinaware they only used for very special occasions and that Hugh insisted on hiding it in the garage since he didn’t trust his kids and believed they would break it at the first chance they got. And he didn't lie when he said he had bought a bottle of wine. Actually, he knew it was an expensive wine because it was the same brand as the one they drank during their wedding. It must have been an absolute hell trying to find it, considering that ten years had gone by since then.
But Simon had made a tiny mistake.
And it wasn’t like he wasn’t allowed to make mistakes. It was just that… if he had a coin for every time Simon had made that exact mistake, he would have two coins.
Which wasn’t a lot of coins; but it was funny it happened twice.
During the Gala, there had been a silent auction to replace some of the stolen drugs. Hugh was going crazy, trying to make sure everything was going according to plan, but Simon insisted that, as members of the Council, they needed to support the fundraising.
At first, Hugh didn’t notice what Simon had done. He had a lot of things going through his mind, like what if someone put a bomb on the ceiling and blew the whole building, if Adrian had drawn a callalily for every single centerpiece, or if Max had asked him to buy him more markers and construction paper since last week or last month. He also was trying to ignore how uncomfortable the suit he was wearing felt, which felt kind of tight when he raised his arms a little bit. Plus, the lights were too bright, the music was too freaking loud for a formal Gala, and for some reason, he was sure he could hear every single conversation that was going on there, at the same time he didn’t understand a single word coming out of those people’s mouths.
But suddenly…
Suddenly Simon grabbed him by the arm and said:
“I got this for you.”
“Huh?”
“I got this for you—” and he pointed at something on the table.
For the split of a second, he thought that Simon was referring to the chocolate cake that was right in the middle of everything, that was decorated with small pearls of white chocolate and a cherry on top. Which would have been a really kind and romantic gesture because chocolate cake would always have a special place in his heart.
But then, he noticed that actually, he was talking about the latticework pie that was right next to it, inside a little transparent box with a golden ribbon around it.
It looked nice; but the chocolate cake looked a lot better from his point of view.
“Simon—”
“Yes, I know technically I haven’t gotten it yet,” Simon said while jotting down his bidding number on a sheet of paper, “but I’m gonna win this and we’re gonna eat pie, like the winners we are.”
“Simon—”
“Do you wanna be a winner or not?”
“Simon—”
Simon finally looked at him, still holding the pen he had used to write down the bidding number.
Hugh had reacted a little bit too late.
So he just sighed, rested his chin on Simon’s head for a couple of seconds, and then asked him if also thought the lights were too bright (“No, but you can talk to someone and see if there’s something they can do about it. Just don’t go all Captain Chromium on them.” “That’s not a phrase other people use.” “Kasumi does.”)
Now, the Gala wasn’t a memory he liked to replay inside his head constantly because while they were there, their kids were risking their lives fighting against people they shouldn’t even be worried about. He felt guilty when he remembered that he was dancing with Simon in a small corner of the room, where they were sure no one could see them (not because they were embarrassed or scared but because Simon didn’t like to be surrounded by a lot of people, and honestly, Hugh wasn’t in the mood for dealing with that either). He was starting to think “Hey, maybe I’m having fun” and Simon was this close to kissing him, but one second after that, they were notified about what had happened to Max and had to rush to the hospital.
It had been one of the worst nights of his life. The last time he thought about it, was while reading Max a book they had just bought for him (“Tough Guys (Have Feelings Too)”). Max mentioned something about Adrian taking him to eat pie that afternoon and “going all Captain Chromium” on him for something he didn’t understand but sounded like normal sibling stuff, and suddenly Hugh vividly remembered the latticework pie Simon had put a bid on.
They never got to eat it.
Which was good because he knew that if he had gotten to eat some, knowing there had been a chocolate cake right next to it that they could have gotten instead of that freaking pie, his night would have been even worse.
Not like your kid almost dying was bad enough though.
���Keep reading the book, Hugh,” Max told him, pretending to be disappointed after he told him that story about the Gala. “Let’s keep the trauma talk for Therapy Thursday.”
(That was how Simon called Thursdays now. It was the day the four of them went to family therapy. Everyone thought it was a stupid way to call it, even Hugh, but he always told his kids it was an incredible way to motivate them, that Simon was trying his best, and that next time he heard them make fun about “Therapy Thursdays”, calling it “$200 Nap Thursdays”, he was going to tell the fucking shrink and they were going to go to family therapy two times a week.)
And there it was.
Again.
The infamous latticework pie.
But when he saw it, he didn’t feel anything else but the impulse to laugh out loud.
“I like it a lot,” he answered.
“You’re putting on the sugar jacket!” Simon exclaimed.
“No, I’m not!” Hugh told him, still laughing.
“No, I can see it!” Simon insisted. “You’re doing it, you always laugh when you do it!”
“What are you talking about?” He cleared his throat. “I’m way too good at sugarcoating, no one notices when—”
“I’m going to keep calling it sugar jacket,” Simon interrupted him, crossing his arms and staring at him with narrowing eyes. “Don’t use that tone with me.”
“And I’m going to keep making fun of you for it. Imagine me putting on a sugar jacket, Simon. It would have to be a huge jacket. The house would be infested with ants.”
But Simon wasn’t interested in the logistics of keeping a sugar jacket inside the house. “It’s like what you did last week. Oh, yeah, Simon, that’s so good—” He scoffed “—I know you hated that souffle because I hated it too.”
“But I liked that souffle! It was pretty good, I don’t know why you hated it.”
“The more you insist on that, the less I’m going to believe you.”
Hugh sat down on one of the kitchen bar stools and hid his face with his hands until he stopped laughing. When he finally did, he saw Simon smiling, even if he was trying to hide it.
“Si—” Simon raised his eyebrows as if he were saying “Hey” with them “—Can I get some wine?”
He thought about it for a second.
“Just because I love you—” and he began to pour it into one of their wine cups. Then, he walked towards Hugh, and with one hand, he took his wine cup, and with the other, he pulled Simon closer to him.
“And I love this,” he whispered. “I loved what you did for me, it’s just what I asked for.”
Simon’s smile got even wider. “I know I said we were gonna have cake but— I know you like pie a little bit more.”
Hugh took a sip of wine.
“Because… you do, don’t you?”
So he left the wine cup on the kitchen bar, grabbed Simon by the waist— and he told him the truth.
“I do now.”
Before Simon could ask him what he meant with that extra “now”, he leaned over and kissed him.
Now it was not the time to talk about that.
#renegades#archenemies#supernova#renegades trilogy#hugh everhart#simon westwood#the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree#sorry but i had to complain about tres leches cake#i reflect all my hate for that thing in my problematic son lol#plus the chicken alfredo is a reference to royal jewels#and there's also a hcttr reference kjsdfhksdfj#and the story of the naked kid running down the street... yeah parcially based on real events <3#one time i saw one of my neighboor's kid playing outside without any clothes on#it was so weird i had to ask my mom if she saw it too#and she told me a lot of kids do that so JSHDKJSJK#well now im going to stop talking-#tags are supposed to be used for useful things#dUDE I HAD TO LOOK FOR THE ENGLISH VERSION OF ARCHENEMIES BC A LOT OF SMALL DETAILS GOT LOST IN THE SPANISH VERSION#and i wanted to be as acurrate as posible x'd#ok im going to go now x'd#obsi's writs
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Back by literally zero request:
Once More, This Time With Feeling: Pt. 2
Rating: PG13 for violence and graphic descriptions, SFW
Ship: Ghost/Spooker
Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of intense panic attacks and dissociation, derealization, depersonalization, implied traumatic events, similarities to alters switching (Jimmy and Gregory, not intentional but is still there due to the nature of the scene), Graphic Descriptions of violence, Major Character Death (temporary) and probably more (please tell me if there is anything else that needs to be tagged!)
Summary: Ghost learns that watching someone die in front of you is a very quick way to find out how much you actually care about them - even if you're not quite ready to admit it just yet. (Contains lots of fluff with a decent amount of angst mixed in! Could be considered hurt/comfort)
Wordcount: 2634
Nothing can be compared to the sound of an axe splitting a head clean open. Ghost can’t move. He can’t think. This can’t be happening. He’s gonna wake up now...Now...Now.
But nothing happens.
He glances down, numbly, at Spooker’s lifeless body on the ground. Blood spills from the crevice in his skull. Ghost’s stomach lurches, so he looks back up at the doorway, wondering if he’s next. It barely registers that there is no enemy. Just an axe swinging gently back and forth on a rope attached to the ceiling. A trap. It was a trap all along, and they fell for it. Distantly, he wonders if brains can be repaired once they’re split open like that. He thinks, Probably not.
Ghost feels like his world is sinking, crashing, burning. Why isn’t he getting up? Billy’s powers should still hold up here - they’re well within range of the Acachalla house, so why?
He realizes he’s been staring vacantly at Spooker for the past who knows how long, and when he looks up Katrina is standing in front of him, staring at him from behind her mane. She gurgles, sounding somehow both sympathetic and smug despite saying no actual words, and Ghost wavers between collapsing to the ground and sobbing, and strangling her on the spot. Something twitches inside of him, vile and immoral, waiting for its moment to strike. He considers indulging it just this once; doesn’t get the chance to decide whether he really will because Katrina pounces, claws digging into his ribcage like she’s searching for something - and in his last moments of consciousness, he watches something pulse in her hand, once, before all goes dark.
Even in death, it seems he’s not allowed to rest.
As soon as his eyes close, they blink open. He can’t see anything, but he feels a doorknob under his hand and feels his mouth finishing the words, “--what about the others?”
Behind him, Spooker’s voice replies, without a hint of caution or worry, “No luck over he-Woah!”
The door hits the wall and Ghost’s eyes widen with fear. He hears himself stutter out, “H-Hey, you good?”
He mouths the words as Spooker says them, glad at least that the room is too dark for Spooker to see it. “Yeah...yeah, I’m alright, just caught me off guard. Let’s go.” He pivots, lunging blindly for where Spooker’s voice came from, tackling him. Something sharp nicks his cheek, and he feels a slight breeze pass overhead. They hit the ground hard, but Ghost decides he prefers that over the alternative.
“Ghost! Wh-What was that for?”
He fumbles for his emergency batteries and reloads his flashlight as fast as he can, knowing Katrina could appear any second. He shines his light towards the doorway, where the axe takes a final swing inwards, before disappearing behind the door for good.
“Holy crap Ghost, how...how did you know that was there?”
“Instincts or something, I guess…” He pants, out of breath.
His mind buzzes and whirs, and he can hardly think through it, but he can’t just lay on top of Spooker forever, so he forces himself to stand, peeking around the corner cautiously.
Katrina is nowhere in sight. His chest aches with how coiled his muscles are - ready to spring at any moment.
Spooker dusts himself off and peeks over Ghost’s shoulder, searching the room and finding the exact same thing Ghost did — nothing. Ghost just barely restrains himself from putting a protective arm between Spooker and the empty room.
Cautiously, he steps inside, Spooker close behind. The only sound is that of their boots clicking against the tile floor. Despite everything, he finds time to thank any gods watching that Spooker has been too distracted by the new surroundings to baby him about the second cut across his cheek. It’s only a matter of time though, he knows.
Glancing around cautiously, Ghost takes in the decrepit machinery dominating the room’s layout. Most of it has decayed beyond recognition. In the far right corner sits a row of industrial shelves containing what at first looks to be scrap metal and wires, but as they approach them, turns out to be an assortment of batteries and other miscellaneous electronics.
“Score!!” Spooker shouts, and by some miracle Ghost quells his roaring panic into a tense, “Spooker, be careful, we don’t know if the entity is nearby.”
Spooker appears duly contrite, so he lets it go this once, if only because he doesn’t fully grasp the peril they are in. Hell, even Ghost’s not sure what the bigger picture is. If that entity is truly Katrina, then what are her motives? And if it isn’t, did the others see someone else?
Spooker is currently loading some new batteries into his flashlight, so Ghost feigns at inspecting some old flip phones on one of the shelves near Spooker and asks hesitantly, “That girl earlier, you saw her too right?”
“The one with the sharp claws and hair all in her eyes? Yeah, why?”
“Hm. Interesting,” is all he can say.
So if it’s something pretending to be her to toy with him, why did everyone see Katrina, instead of their own illusions? Is it just another layer to the deception? Why bother?
What is the point?
“Is that Nokia particularly thought-provoking, or are you gonna tell me what you’re thinking about?” Spooker had apparently appeared over his shoulder sometime while he was lost in thought, and Ghost jerks around, slamming into the shelf of Nokias, now behind him.
A loud CLANG resonates throughout the room, reverberating off the surrounding machinery in ways that seem almost staged -- it’s hauntingly ethereal.
Spooker’s hands fly out to steady him immediately, a look of concern clearly written on his face. For some reason, despite all logic, the first thing he notices is how close they are to each other. The second is the pain in his back. He hisses.
Spooker’s hands flit about nervously, from Ghost’s shoulder to his face before he curls his fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms. “I didn’t mean to scare you like that -- okay maybe a little but-” Ghost’s mouth twitches upwards in amusement involuntarily. “-I didn’t think you’d startle that badly! Really! I’m so so sorry-”
Ghost realizes that Spooker could probably apologize all day if allowed to, so he cuts in, “I’m fine Spooker.” it’s mostly the truth, he’ll probably bruise like hell tomorrow morning, but other than that he’s okay. He’s been through much worse on a mission, so he tries to seem sincere when he smiles slightly and says, “Seriously, it’s nothing to worry about, I’m alright.”
Spooker seems placated for all of two seconds before he suddenly squints at Ghost with heavy suspicion. “Are you saying that because you’re actually fine, or because your pain-rating scale only has the options of ‘not bleeding out or missing limbs, so doing fine,’ and ‘currently bleeding out or missing limbs, might need assistance if the situation is truly dire?’”
Ghost glances away, he’s not exactly wrong - not that he’ll admit that. “It’s actually fine, just a small bruise.”
“Uh huh.” He doesn’t sound convinced. “Turn around, let me see it.”
“Wha-Why? I told you it’s fine!” He is not whining right now, that would be childish. He’s just...objecting loudly. Yes.
“Yeah, and I totally believe you. Turn around.”
Ghost eyes the space under Spooker’s arm, calculating possible escapes. “We have much more important things to do than play doctor Spooker. Like finding a way out of here perhaps? You can swaddle me in bubble wrap when we get out of here for all I care, but right now I’d like to keep moving forward.”
Spooker seems to debate this for a few moments before blinking a few times and replying, “Fine, but if you start struggling to keep up I’m not going to be so nice.” He moves back, letting Ghost slide past him and out from between the shelves. Ghost has to push aside the very strong feeling that he’s had that conversation before.
Ghost ignores the inexplicable heat in his cheeks and starts scanning the room for an exit. For some reason it feels like the temperature has risen quite a bit since they entered, maybe the next room will be cooler. It could be some sort of elaborate trap to slowly boil them to death without them noticing. Who really knows with ghosts.
The walls around the machines are solid grey concrete, smooth and uniform. Ghost searches for some sort of inconsistency, a flaw somewhere, and eventually he finds a small notch in the otherwise perfect walls, and moves to investigate.
As he starts to approach it the sound of something metal hitting the floor ricochets from behind the shelves. “S-Sorry! My...My bad....”
“You alright?”
“Fine! Fine! Everything is fine!” Spookers voice is an octave too high to be deemed truly fine, but Ghost chalks it up to being startled by the loud noise. He looks back at the notch in the wall. Suddenly, he realizes that engraved just above the notch is a long string of symbols he’s never seen before. He wonders how he didn’t notice the intricate carvings until now.
“ᚱᛖᛋᛏ ᛁᚾ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚨᚱᛗᛋ ᛟᚠ ᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᛋᛟᚢᛚ ᛁᛋ ᚱᛟᛟᛏᛖᛞ. ᛒᚱᛖᚨᛏᚺᛖ ᛁᚾ ᛏᚺᛖ ᚨᚢᚱᚨ ᛏᚺᚨᛏ ᛃᛟᚢ ᛋᚺᚨᚱᛖ. ᛟᚾᚲᛖ ᛏᚺᛖᛋᛖ ᚲᛟᚾᛞᛁᛏᛁᛟᚾᛋ ᚺᚨᚹᛖ ᛒᛖᛖᚾ ᛗᛖᛏ, ᛏᚺᛖ ᛈᚨᛏᚺ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛟᛈᛖᚾ.”
Squinting at it, he decides to call Spooker over. Spooker scampers up, yet again hovering just over his left shoulder. Ghost is starting to think he just likes being there. For some reason this doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t know why.
Spooker looks at the symbols for a few seconds like they’re familiar, before finally he exclaims, “Oh! I know what those are - Those are Nordic Runes - specifically Elder Futhark!”
“You just...knew that?”
“I’ve always been into occult stuff, y’know? Apparently people still use these for divination today! But it’s also a language - like right here...” He points at one that looks like a fancy M over Ghost’s shoulder, and he’s beaming so brightly that Ghost is pretty sure he’s found the reason it’s so hot in this room - the warmth in his smile as he talks could rival the sun. Spooker keeps talking, explaining what different runes mean and their individual names, and Ghost realizes he’s been staring at Spooker’s face instead of paying attention, so he looks back at the runes and hopes he hadn’t noticed. Spooker doesn’t mention it if he does, just keeps talking about runes and their meanings, and it settles a part of Ghost he hadn’t even realized was jittery until now.
Something in the notched section of wall clicks twice, and not a second later does the wall slide open in one smooth motion. Behind it lies a rather dull looking corridor, with plain, dark walls, and a sharp turn about twenty feet ahead. They both jump slightly at the sudden change, but just as quickly steel themselves and enter, unwilling to test how long it would remain open. “Do you know what opened it?”
Spooker’s eyes flick side to side like he’s debating with himself. “Well, the clue was really vague...So I’m not really sure..” He scratches his chin. He’s pretty sure Spooker is hiding something, but asking what the clue was when he probably said it earlier is practically announcing that he wasn’t actually paying attention, so instead he just replies, “Huh, weird. Well as long as we’re making progress it can’t be a bad thing. Let’s go.”
Spooker, for one reason or another, stays silent.
Oh. It seems he forgot where he was.
As they round the corner they are met with the one and only Katrina - or whatever it is that’s pretending to be her - standing about thirty feet down the hallway. Ghost could swear she’s smiling under her mop of hair. He wants to run, or scream, or just, at the very least, move, preferably somewhere where the blood red eyes piercing through her veil of hair can’t follow him. But he can’t. He’s stuck to the spot, like he’s been sautered to the floor. He feels a presence behind him - and it can’t be her because he’s staring right at her; so it must be Spooker hovering just over his left shoulder, just like always, and if he wasn’t frozen in place he might have cried with relief. He manages to drag a shaking hand backwards until it meets Spooker’s, intertwining their fingers with a bruising grip. Katrina observes this, before nodding her head in what looks like approval. She turns on her heel and shambles back the way she presumably came.
“Wh-” His voice cracks, forcing him to pause and gather himself. “What was that. Why did she-I don’t, I don’t understand. Why-Why would…I don’t understand-” The jittery fragment grows restless, feeding off of his panic. He doesn’t understand what it is, he doesn’t understand what just happened, he doesn’t understand anything at all.
The fragment is growing agitated now. He doesn’t know why or how or what it is. It’s hungry. It’s so hungry. How did he end up on the ground? When did he start laughing? There’s someone talking somewhere. They feel familiar, safe. Who were they again? He’s still holding their hand. A face has come into view, or maybe they lifted his head. He feels like he’s watching through a window. The face - so so familiar, yet completely unrecognizable - wipes tears from his cheeks. Is he crying? They look worried; it looks wrong on their face. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong--
It’s all wrong.
This isn’t happening. It can’t be. It’s not real.
Spooker - that’s his name - looks at him with a frantic, desperate, fearful look in his eyes. He’s still laughing, he realizes.
“I saw you die,” falls from his mouth, unbidden. He doesn’t know why. “The axe. It killed you.” He giggles hysterically, but it’s choked off by more tears.
“I know,” Spooker says in a soothing voice, like he’s talking to a caged animal, “I know, I’m sorry.” They’re still holding hands, even after all of this. He looks down to see that his nails have dug deep enough into Spooker’s hand to draw blood. He starts to pull away, but Spooker catches his wrist. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. You can hold on for as long as you need, okay?”
“Okay. Okay.” Everything is still so foggy, but the red haze is gone. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you okay?”
“But, normal....normal people don’t.” He swallows thickly. “Don’t do this.”
“No, no they don’t,” Spooker agrees.
“So why am I?”
“We’re gonna figure it out, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”
“Okay.” He feels very small. Vulnerable. Scared. He finds himself longing for a mansion he’s never seen before; tall and green and empty, so empty. Home.
He suddenly feels exhausted. “I-I can’t,” he blinks rapidly, trying to stem the drooping of his eyelids.
“It’s okay, you can rest. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
“Alright…”
The next time his eyes close, he drifts off into a dreamless sleep.
#jess writes#venturiantale#venturiantale pie#taleblr#ghost/spooker#ghooker#fred spooker soup#fred spooker#johnny toast#johnny ghost#chris colon ghostie#vt pie#paranormal investigators extraordinaire#fuck uhhhh#ill add more later prolly
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The Triumph of the Marginalia
Marginalia, n.:
1 : notes or embellishments in the margins (as in a book)
2 : nonessential items
-Troll OED
Is it just me, or is Nepeta and Equius’s arc the most slept-upon piece of brilliance in all of Homestuck?
A brilliance, might I add, that culminates in possibly the most triumphant, fulfilling emotional moment in the entire work:
https://www.homestuck.com/story/7928
*stands back and beholds its majesty while from the background comes the sound of James Roach brutally murdering ska*
No, but actually, I mean this 100% unironically, and by the end of this post, I think you’ll agree with me.
By now, I think we all understand the Act 6 double metaphor: the series of temporal loops and universes that Lord English commands is paralleled with, and in fact totally identical to, the narrative of Homestuck. Our characters’ lives exist within this context. They struggle to escape it, and are defined both by it and by the rejection of it.
Enter Nepeta.
The metaphorical meaning of Nepeta in Homestuck is irrelevance, and that’s why she’s the most relevant character in any discussion.
Nepeta was one of the characters killed off during the Murderstuck arc. Hussie argued that she was perfect for this role. In fact, I believe he said something like “Nepeta is sweet, but if you look up the dictionary definition of ‘expendable character,’ you’ll see a picture of Nepeta playing with a ball of yarn and looking very cute.” She’s an endearing combination of shipper girl and apex predator, but not one of your Vriskas or Terezis in being a driver of the plot. Hussie, it seems, created her just to round out the troll cast. He described one of his purposes in Murderstuck as being to axe some of the less necessary trolls to reduce the scope of his character list.
Except that didn’t really happen, did it?
Like a cat with nine lives, Nepeta just keeps coming back.
Equius is another addition to the troll cast who gets pushed away from the main action. He was a character-writing challenge: how do you make someone who’s gross, uncomfortable, and racist kind of likable anyway? I’d argue Hussie succeeded, in large part because of Equius’s relationship with Nepeta. By the time you finish with Hivebent, you’ll probably have a little fondness for their moraillegiance. And if that doesn’t do it, the conversation that serves as their swansong in Equius: Seek the Highblood will tear your heartstrings to shreds.
Because Equius dies, tragically clownmurdered. There was, at the time, some stink over this from Equius fans. Would he have really let himself be killed so easily? Hussie countered: yes, and it was the most in-character thing he could have done. He died doing what he loved: being asphyxiated erotically and horrifically by a superior. Truly, there could be no more fitting end to his character than that.
And yet.
No sooner did Hussie complete his self-appointed story cleanup challenge than he immediately began to undo his own work. It’s almost as if, in declaring his intention to own those who preferred more characters to narrative economy, he immediately had to own himself??
By the time we get even a little way into Act 6, we’re deep in the dreambubble landscape, meeting dead characters left and right. And who should show up there but Equius and Nepeta? Equius attempting to get it on with a bunch of Aradias, who dump him. And Nepeta, living out her romantic dreams as a representative of a timeline where she got together with Karkat. They both appear as symbols of this deadness, this irrelevance. Except that that brings them back into the story, into the spotlight – the opposite of where they’re supposed to be!
Like many bits of commentary, Hussie continues to incorporate the metaphor Nepeta=Irrelevance into Homestuck. Karkat’s remark on their journey that he would love to meet “FIFTY FUCKING NEPETAS” and embark on “NEPETAQUEST” alludes to formspring remarks to the effect that, no, Homestuck was not going to have much time for the minor characters. Except it clearly did.
Why couldn’t the narrative let the meowrails go? Was it that despite the economy of Murderstuck, something was still incomplete? After all, one of Equius’s charms was that he appeared to be growing into a less repressed, kinder person. In Seek the Highblood, we see him letting his guard down enough to roleplay with Nepeta for a change. Their love for each other: wasn’t that ultimately what could redeem Equius in our eyes? So his dying and thus failing to protect her–isn’t that something that should be addressed?
You could imagine many a Nepeta and Equius fan saying this to Hussie back in 2011.
But Hussie was already saying it to himself.
The duo come roaring back into the story in the Trickster mode arc, mid Act 6, thanks to Gamzee’s ridiculous resurrections. True, Nepeta is still reduced as part of Fefeta, the character formed from killed-off girls who never speaks onscreen. But doesn’t using that fact as a running gag kind of draw our attention to it? Doesn’t the fact that Fefeta talks to Roxy constantly offscreen inform us that once we get outside the frame of the narrative, Nepeta has a rich inner life and countless stories to tell?
And it’s here that Equius gets something he never got in his original “arc:” the chance to apologize to Nepeta. You’d be forgiven for missing it since there’s so much else going on at the time, but he does, while fused with AR. Here’s what you’d miss, though: he’s grown as a person in the afterlife. He’s come to regret that moment of weakness, where his fetish kept him from protecting his moirail. Impossible as it seems, he’s continuing his character arc.
The scene ends with Fefeta exploding (she’s also, after all, dealing with Eridan), but it leaves us with a tantalizing question:
Will Nepeta forgive Equius? Is there even a plausible time and space in that story when she could respond to his words?
Do you see what’s happening here? Instead of being erased, Nepeta and Equius are starting to slip the bounds of the story that killed them. They leap in and out of the frame, half-mythical figures. Marginalized, they write their own stories in the margins. They exist in complete defiance of the original logic of Homestuck.
Lord English is an alt-Author figure, a dark, brutal reflection of narrative control and narrative necessity. His world, in which horrible choices are necessary, in which the alpha timeline is a ticking clock leading inexorably to his manifestation, is one that beats down people not deemed important enough by his narrative. Which makes it identical to the one we’re reading. Throw all the unnecessary characters in the trash. Kill them off, if it suits my purposes. The world doesn’t need Nepeta.
Which is precisely why it does. Because isn’t defying Lord English the entire point? Isn’t it what Homestuck reveals as truly heroic?
What might Nepeta be capable of?
Let’s talk about two other victims of English’s forces of marginalization. Davesprite might be the most quintessential example. He teaches us what the alpha timeline is and how it works, by going back to fix a doomed timeline and submitting to being doomed himself. Except he merges with a bird and avoids that fate. Okay, but he clearly gets killed off fighting Jack in Jade: Enter. Except he comes back and hangs out with Jadesprite. Okay, but he dies in the planetsplode in the Retcon. Nope, he comes back from that, too. Huh. He keeps slipping the fate decreed for him by – who else? Lord English.
But it’s a struggle, clearly. He’s caught up in various cycles of guilt and shame. Over being “not the real Dave.” Over his feeling that he has to be a hero in the sense Bro demanded he be. Hussie describes Davesprite as fitting the “way of the unbroken sword:” his experiences have led him to believe in being strong and capable at the expense of all else, in contrast with the other Dave, whose belief in Bros’ toxic ideas is beginning to slip – the “way of the broken sword.” And where did Bro get his toxic ideas from? At least in part, the whispering voice of the soul of Lord English.
Now we turn to Dirk. Like Dave, Dirk has a marginalized, “less important” splinter self but it’s more of a pressing concern. AR shows Dirk’s darker side: exhibiting manipulative tendencies that human Dirk is trying to move away from. He’s also a copy removed from humanity, who feels an understandable amount of disillusionment about being removed from physical existence and his own identity. But as much as Dirk may splinter, like his dumb anime sword, he never breaks. What this means in the symbolic language of Homestuck is that Dirk lives fully, instinctually, in the way of the sword. He believe in a world of hard choices, masculine heroism, and necessity. Ultimately, this, too, is part of what makes Bro so harmful to Dave. In AR and Davesprite, we have a strange parallel: two splinter selves, both of whom are enmeshed in the logic of LE.
Except AR, unlike Davesprite…kind of is LE.
What is Lord English composed of? Well, there’s Caliborn, the most unrepentant shithead of all time. There’s Gamzee, embodiment of horrifying clownery. And then there’s AR, a version of Dirk even more removed from the person he wants to be.
And…Equius?
Allow me a moment to get really indulgent and take a big puff on my Homestuck scholar’s pipe.
The metaphorical meaning of Equius in Homestuck is: sort of growing out of being a creepy racist.
Or maybe let’s say: the opportunity to do that. We said that Equius was on the verge of being redeemed (even had been, in the eyes of many readers). What does it mean to stick him in with Lord English’s souls? It means two things:
1) Equius is a product of his society, which was shaped by Doc Scratch, aka by Lord English, both of whom are kind of him, but Scratch picks up on his traits especially. This is a recognition of that fact: the part of him that sucks is, itself, Lord English in a dizzying loop.
2) Equius’s story is a tragedy. It is the story of a kid who started to escape his society’s tendencies, but was sucked back in by the evil force behind them.
Although…maybe that’s not the whole story.
Because both Equius and AR aren’t really that bad. AR’s pretty understandable, and by no means beyond the possibility of goodness. And the combination of the two? Honestly, pretty harmless. They counter each other’s worst tendencies by devolving into a weird goofball. In fact, AR even says he wants to do something heroic: to sacrifice himself for something really important. He does, kind of, mustering a last-ditch robohorse assault on Caliborn. But at the same time, this is the substance of his tragedy. A hero whose defeat of a great evil forces him to become the substance of that evil. Which could not be a more fitting summary of how these characters function in their story.
But maybe that’s still not the whole story.
Enter Davepeta.
At first glance, the creation of Davepeta seems like Hussie’s most batshit troll move yet. I feel pretty confident in saying that even those who predicted either of these characters returning didn’t see that one coming. However, a few pages of Davepeta’s presence reveals a fundamental truth:
Davepeta is fucking amazing.
In them, Davesprite’s depressive moods are buoyed up by Nepeta’s upbeat optimism. Nepeta’s reclusive shyness is balanced by Dave’s tendency toward brash banter. Both of them gain confidence from being the new person they are. They quickly let go of ideas inherited from the world that kept them from self-knowledge and happiness. Dave, his toxic masculinity; Nepeta, her fear.
A great point I’ve seen made is how much Jasprose and Davepeta resemble fantasy selves for Rose and Dave: indulgent, technicolor manifestations of people they could be if they let go of inhibitions and limitations. But I think Davepeta is the most unambiguously positive of the two.
The metaphorical meaning of Davepeta in Homestuck?
Growth.
Not giving a fuck about what the world thinks. The world, aka Lord English. Because Lord English could never have predicted that his machinations would also spawn a confident, powerful fusion of two beings he had discarded as totally irrelevant.
They’re also a multicolored non-binary furry, so that’s even more points in the pissing off shitheads column.
They are someone Lord English never conceived of, never could have conceived of, but which lay as potential within his domain all along.
And if Lord English is a reflection of the author, of what Hussie feels one has to destroy or sacrifice, than Davepeta is an indulgence existing in defiance of all that.
And this makes Davepeta the most powerful person of all.
They are the light at the end of the tunnel. They are the person you could be, if you could get past your mental shackles and just grow. It may not be possible to ever get there as a mortal human, may only be for a godlike sprite, but striving to be like them matters, is purpose and fulfilment enough.
And they love ARquius.
Nepeta believed in Equius, believed he could grow, and was growing. So as much as ARquius traps himself in a Lord English loop of his own making – grown, perhaps, out of Dirk’s belief that there should be a loop, that importance is admirable—Davepeta pulls from him, in his last scene, his finest qualities. His love.
Equius asks forgiveness again, and this time, Nepeta’s able to give it. Davepeta easily accepts ARquius’s apology, an apology which never could have existed within the confines of a normal narrative. A reconciliation that both of them fought for by defying their narrative, by existing outside it. By being not the trolls who lived and died, but their broader, conceptual selves, who exist beyond lifetimes. Beyond the comic page. And they consummate that reconciliation with that most cherished and loving of gestures:
A hug.
And even as this is Equius and Nepeta’s reconciliation, it’s also Dirk and Dave’s. Which, I should mention, is also taking place, simultaneously and circumstantially simultaneously, just below. It’s a more difficult one, certainly, especially as filtered through the splinters of Davesprite and AR. Here forgiveness is not quite the right word. But – knowledge, and recognition, and a kind of peace. It’s Davesprite’s chance to reunite with the part of his brother he loved, while also being a person who’s grown beyond him. And it’s AR’s chance to be loved.
Oh, sure, the art is ridiculous, the pose absurd. But that’s what makes it sublime.
I mean, what did you think that Sbahj comic was really about?
A boy distancing himself from his feelings through irony, never acknowledging that the story he’s telling is about two bros who desperately want to hug each other, but don’t know how.
Here’s the hug.
I want to dip into Epilogues territory for a moment, but it’s territory which is fairly well implied by Davepeta’s statements and role in Collide. The Meat Epilogue, I think, only illuminates what was already there.
Lord English is uniquely vulnerable to Davepeta.
And why shouldn’t he be? They, like so much else in Homestuck, are a consequence of his actions spiraling far beyond his control. But it’s more than that. Davepeta is finally able to lay the unbroken sword to rest by following the “prophecy” about Dave defeating Lord English. On the one hand, that’s kind of what happened. But it’s also completely different from what English intended, antithetical to his desires and goals. Which makes the victory all the sweeter. But at the end of the day, Davepeta doesn’t fight for the reasons Davesprite did. They’re free of that, now. Instead, they fight from a place of genuine compassion. Because Davesprite, like Dave, knows the true meaning of being a hero: caring about one’s friends.
But the most important thing about Davepeta is that they know Lord English, on a level that perhaps neither he nor they recognize. Both AR and Equius are in there, and both are capable of redemption. It’s only Gamzee and Caliborn who are truly beyond it.
How does Davepeta defeat Lord English?
With a hug.
They wrap their claws around him, and carry him into the sun like a piece of garbage. It’s an aggressive hold, but it’s also effectively an embrace.
And I have to wonder: in those final moments, did they sense a connection there? Did Equius and Dirk stir somewhere within Lord English? Did they give him a moment’s pause? Resist him? Make it just the tiniest bit easier for Davepeta to do their work?
If so, then that, too, is heroism.
At the very least, it’s circumstantially simultaneous with the hug we see in Act 6, and so it carries the same message:
Redemption.
Not for the shitheads, but for those who wanted to be better.
And if this isn’t enough, there’s a third reconciliation here, too: between author and reader, or to put it in other terms, author and character.
If Lord English is a shadow of the author, what part of the author can be redeemed? Maybe not the destructive, antagonistic urges. But the part that plans and designs and philosophizes as Dirk does. That part of Hussie wanted Davepeta to be there, to strike that final blow, and made it happen.
Because, when you get right down to it, as much as Hussie pretends to be antagonistic toward his readers and the characters they enjoy, it’s the fans, the shippers, the furries, those whose hearts go out to a cute, shy cat girl that he most celebrates.
Hussie fucking loves Nepeta.
Nepeta and Equius are, sneakily, the best characters in Homestuck, because they understand its fundamental message: that to succeed in Homestuck is to defy Homestuck. They defy everything it throws at them, and somehow, improbably, come out on top.
All of this is there on that page, a whole edifice of storytelling culminating in that singular, grand, supremely indulgent expression, a feast of looping leitmotif and color and imagery and meme and sound. It’s all there, if you know where to look.
Nepeta and Equius love each other, and that’s pretty fucking great.
See? I told you.
<> Ari
#nepeta#equius#davepeta#homestuck analysis#arquius#meowrails#davesprite#hal#trying to get out ahead of hussie's commentary for a change#happy 4/13 :33#<3#stay tuned#feast of homestuck 2020
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America’s ass - Chris Evans x Reader
Title: America’s ass
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: You paired with your husband, Chris Evans, and friend and costar Chris Hemsworth during interviews for Avengers Endgame. You have a lot of fun but it all gets better when you play a game where you have to guess your costars’ body parts. As expected Chris knows yours right off the bat and once you instantly recognize his, which happens to be one of your favorites, you let everyone know just what you think and feel about his wonderful ass.
“We're gonna name that Avenger. Let's see how well you know the bodies of your fellow Avengers. We'll show you some extreme-”
“Extreme? Well, that won't end well.” you muttered, making the interviewer laugh “Are you sure you want to play this game while I am with these two guys?” you motioned to both Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth, who were already grinning and sharing looks that terrified you.
“We-well ye-yeah, I mean I guess? I-it's gonna be fun. We'll show you some photos and you'll have to guess, wh-what could go wrong?”
“Alright, don't say I didn't warn you!” you pointed at him with a grin “Plus, man I really should be with the rest of the girls or at least Scar for this, so that I can express myself freely!”
“Why? Can't you express yourself when we're around?” Chris, your husband, asked with a small frown and you looked at him with a grin.
“Oh hon, I sure can. But for one, there are some things you better not know yet and for another, I'm just scared that the things that come out of my mouth after this might cause you a heart attack. Especially given your age, oh you know the effect that can have on someo-”
“Alright, that's just mean now!” he cut you off, trying to look offended but unable to hide his smile anyway “You're barely 9 years younger than me, I'm not that old!”
“Sure you're not, baby. Sure you're not.” you patted his shoulder “Keep saying it out loud and one day you might believe it. Then, of course, you'll be even older but-” you shrugged “Oh well. Besides, you know what they say about older men?” you asked him with a flirty smirk and he returned it, same sparkle in his eyes as ever: one of pure love and adoration.
“No, but I would love you to enlighten me.”
“Alright!” Hemsworth said loud and quickly enough to be heard over anything you might say, cutting you off with wide eyes “Shall we start the game before this gets worse?” he glanced at the two of you with a grin “You don't want to bestuck in the middle of the storm of these two flirting with each other, trust me! So many years later and they seem to beunable to stop. I don't even think they want to stop.”
“Damn right, we don't.” you nodded your head. This time you placed a hand on his thigh, making Chris's smile even wider as a small laugh left his lips, as you winked at him. “'Sides, how can I help it? It's like this face is asking for it and I don't even have to try hard to come up with something to say.”
“And by that she means we've already used any and every pick up line known to the entire world so now we're improvising the heck out of it.” your husband laughed, shrugging “Some people would think it'd be over the first year after our wedding but nope! Honeymoon phase still going strong, eight years later! And will probably keep doing so for the rest of our lives, much to-” he chuckled, pointing to his friend whose eyes widened in utter horror and he pretended to choke on thin air “Hemmy's and everybody else's dismay!”
“Oh he's being a drama queen. Get over yourself Hemsworth!” you rolled your eyes playfully at your friend before looking back at the interviewer with a shrug, casually saying “I'm proud I got me this Chris and I like hitting on my man, sue me! Is that such a big deal?”
“No, no (Y/n). Believe me, there are a lot of people that would agree with you.” the interviewer nodded his head with a laugh “Alright, onto the game, and the first photo.” he flipped his tablet and showed you the photo “What is this? What's body part and who is that Avenger?”
“I don't even know what part of the body that is.” your husband leaned forward in his seat to look more closely “I don't even think I want to know.”
“Oh God.” Hemsworth mumbled, slightly turning away from it as you kept silent for most part, until you asked a question when you spoke up.
“What did Rudd say on this?”
“You're taking Rudd's opinion on this? Seriously?” Hemsworth asked you and you shrugged.
“Not his advice I just want to know what he said. I just wanna hear, something tells me it's gonna be worth it.” you said casually “I've got a vague idea about this but I jut wanna hear it before I take a chance.”
“Paul Rudd said-” the interviewer was already chuckling “Hulk's nuts. That- that was his answer.”
The second he said those words, you all burst into laughter. Your husband even clapping his hands and you exclaimed “See I told you it would be worth it! Wow how did he take Tony's beard for Hulk's nuts I have no idea, but that's forever sticking around I swear!”
“Oh yes!” the interviewer said with a smile, swiping to the next photo to reveal it was really him and that you had guessed it right.
“Wait- wait you knew this?” Hemsworth asked in surprise and you shrugged one more.
“Yeah, I figured it out from the first second. Looks like a beard, it's a goatee and Tony's the only one with that! 'Sides, don't you think I know how the beard I've kissed for six movies looks like?” you asked with a smirk, glancing at your husband whose smile fluttered for a split second. You saw a familiar look in his eyes and smiled even more. Thinking back to it, you had lost count of the times he'd gotten jealous of the scenes you had with Robert – and it wasn't as if he could do anything because your characters were a fan-favorite couple – and which had let to so many steamy nights, and mornings, and evenings, and noons and pretty much every time he got jealous, you either had to reassure him you were only his or he got so possessive that a heavy make-out session was the least you ended up doing.
“I'd like to-” he shook his head a bit, small frown on his face and his lips pressed in a line for a moment “I'd more like to forget that to be honest, honey.”
“Civil War number two here we go!” Hemsworth said with excitement, chuckling as you gave him a look before turning to your husband.
“Aw come on babe-” you always found it adorable, when he didn't have you begging for him that is “You know I prefer yours! I would definitely recognize yours too! Don't worry.” you patted his knee and kissed his cheek, which thankfully made him calm down a bit as the smile on his lips proved “It's the most irresistible one anyway.”
“Oh” he chuckled “Trust me, I do remember that!”
“Believe me, we all do! And we certainly want to forget.” Hemsworth said with wide eyes and you laughed, hiding your red face behind your hands “Never have I had five sleepless nights in a row like that before. Never! I'll tell you, Infinity War took the longest to film because of those two!”
“Oh come on, that's lies and you're exaggerating! Besides, sue me! He looks irresistible in a beard and I happen to have a soft spot for it!” you defended yourself as you grabbed Chris's chin and kissed his cheek once more “Infinity War will forever be in my heart for that!”
“I am guessing that's the reason why when you're not on set you don't shave huh Chris?” the interviewer asked him and your husband nodded his head.
“Oh yeah, definitely!” he exclaimed “The wife likes the beard? Then it definitely stays! Nothing I wouldn't do for her anyway, she's got me wrapped around her little finger.”
“Fair enough.” the interviewer nodded his head “Onto the next one we go.” and he swiped to the next photo.
“Oh that looks like-” your Chris started, blinking a couple times.
“It's well shaped. It's got- Looks like-” Hemsworth started trying but couldn't quiet put his finger on it.
“Loos like- Oh wait, it's an eyebrow! An eyebrow!” you clapped your hands “It's a woman's and it's- Oh oh it's Scarlett's eyebrow, or better yet Natasha. If- if we're going with characters.” you said after a few seconds of thinking.
“Yes!” the interviewer exclaimed in excitement, swiping the photo to reveal it was her “Two out of two, she's on a roll gentlemen and she's about to beat you at this!”
“Oh come on! That's just not fair, you've got some sort of secret or something? Someone's told you the answers?” Hemsworth narrowed his eyes at you and you chuckled.
“No, I swear! It's just that all it takes is looking at it for a couple seconds and I instantly know because I recognize it, plucked to perfect how can you not recognize that? Plus, do you know how many hours her and I have spent on these brows that you see? That and these?” you motioned to the photo and your eyebrows “Countless!”
“For real?” your husband asked a bit surprised and you looked at him, nodding your head.
“Yes, of course. Besides, what do you think we do when we have sleepovers?” you asked and he nodded his head in understanding, up to this day knowing very well of your monthly sleepovers besides your girls' night out. You went one anyway “We eat pizza, do beauty and talk about how you're in bed, baby.”
“Wh-what?!” Chris exclaimed so loudly, his eyes wide, that Chris Hemsworth nearly fell off his chair laughing. You couldn't help a chuckle or two of your own, truth be told. The look on his face was priceless.
“What?” you giggled “It's nothing personal, don't worry and don't be so shocked. And of course I tell my best friend and maid of honor about stuff like that, Chris. Girls talk either way, you know that honey. Not too much detail, though, don't worry. I keep some parts to myself... some... maybe.” you winked at him “Besides, it's all good things, don't you worry about that, babe.”
“I don't think I wanna keep going with this game anymore.” your husband said with wide eyes, laughing a bit albeit nervously “I don't think I can handle to find out any more news.”
“Oh man!” Hemsworth clapped his hands, still laughing his off at his friend “You're so done.”
“Oh no, don't think you're off the hook too Hemmy.” you pointed at him with a grin “Elsa tells us all about you when she's able to join!” you pointed out and his smile immediately vanished.
“Not laughing anymore, are you Hemmy?” your husband teased his friend who had a horrified look on his face now.
“I really think those sleepovers need to come to an end, like immediately.” he shook his head “I surely had not imagined the interview going this way. Had you?” he asked the interviewer who laughed and shook his head saying “No”
“Oh get over yourselves boys, it's a girls' thing, don't fuss so much over it. Besides, the damage has already been done you know so-” you turned back to the interviewer “Let's go on with the next one, yeah?”
“Sounds like a good idea!” he agreed as both Chrises shared a look anyway “And this, is what we've got.”
“Oh that's easy, shoulders!” Hemsworth said right off the bat until his smile fluttered “Whose though?”
“Ah that's the hard thing.” you nodded your head, arms crossed over your chest as you relaxed in your chair “They look female could they be... Scarlett Witch? Yes? No, I don't know.”
“Seriously you guys, that's not even hard. It's (Y/n)'s shoulders!” your husband said with confidence.
“Really?” you raised an eyebrow just as the interviewer swiped to the next photo and exclaimed “Yes!” and made you and Hemsworth look at it in surprise, muttering “Wow I don't even know my own shoulders.”
“You're right. Evans is right about a photo that concerns (Y/n), why am I not surprised?” Hemsworth asked with a laugh and probably a sly smirk and you giggled “You recognised that awfully too fast, you know that right?”
“Excuse me!” Evans exclaimed “Do you even think I do anything else in my entire day besides worship this woman? Hell no! Admire everything in her? Yeah, maybe that too. Think about her all the time? Sure, of course. Wonder how in the heck I am the luckiest man on Earth to have her? You bet! Plus-” he looked back at the interviewer “Have you see this woman?” he motioned at you with both his hands as you hid your burning face behind your hands “How could I ever even try to shut up about her! I can talk all day about her and not be anywhere near done. Because, yep, this is my gorgeous wife! And those are her wonderful shoulders which I can proudly say are way too hot for my old heart to take sometimes!”
“Chris, stop!” you grabbed hold of his arm and hid your face behind his shoulder as he laughed beautifully, kissing the top of your head “But wait- Seriously, is that why you can't keep your hands off when I wear a tank top?” the question was mostly rhetorical but the smile on his face was enough of an answer.
“Stop? Please, he's just getting started and we all know it!” Hemsworth said with a laugh of his own “I'd tell you to get married already but- you've already done that!”
“I've got one proud husband huh?” you peeked over his shoulder with a shy smile “Sorry for all this PDA guys, he literally never can stop. Doesn't help that he's also my biggest fan.”
Chris laughed when you pressed a couple kisses on his cheek, before he added “I sure am and I'm hella proud about it as well!” he smiled cheekily “But I'll tell you: there isn't a single part of hers that I wouldn't recognize in an instant but even more so those shoulders!” both Chris and the interviewer glanced at him as you were already grinning “What do you think I love to massage every night after we're done filming? Granted, I always started from her shoulders and ended up elsewhere but-” he grinned more when you giggled.
“Not like you didn't too eagerly offer to give me that massage, Evans.” you teased.
“Eh, not guilty.” he shrugged casually “But really-” he looked away from you “Every time. I swear to you, every single time it lead to more, so can you blame me for asking more of it? Nope. I mean, how do you think we already have a kid back home huh?”
“He just doesn't pull outta anything, that's how!” you pointed out and they all burst into laughter.
“Oh I always love to find out new things about you guys but I think that we're running out of time, so I'm going on with the next photo! Let's see who will figure it out first.”
“Oh oh that's...” Hemsworth tilted his head to the side “Looks like clothing. Could be a back o-or a chest? I don't know, is it? Probably Renner's.” he asked but he got a “No” in return.
“Come on that's probably the easiest you could throw at us and, even more, me!” you said with a confident smile, especially as you glanced at your husband to see he had a sly grin on his lips “And judging by the mere look on this man's face-” you pointed at him “Then I am not 100% sure I am 100% right.” you grinned widely “Not that I could ever like literally ever mistake that body part for anything or anybody else's. Nope. It's perfect and it's round just the way it should, it's soft and it's incredible. It's-” you could barely hold back your own laughter when Chris chuckled next to you “It's America's ass! More specifically, it's his ass.”
“Chris Evans's ass, you say. Chris, you seem to know the answer hm?”
“Oh yes, it's my tush.” he said cheekily and you laughed, nodding your head when the interviewer swiped to the next photo and revealed it was indeed Chris “It's my tushy, I told you.” lips adorably pursed he nodded his head “But you should take her word for this even more than mine, I'll tell you.”
“Chris is totally right.” you agreed “That's my hubby's ass right there and I know it better than anything in the world! It's one of the reasons I married him anyway.” you shrugged with a casual grin “Besides, where do you think my hand stays all the time, every time I'm next to this guy?” you pointed to Chris who was laughing and nodding his head “Grab it, hold it, slap it on the occasion, squeeze it for sure. You know, the whole-” you giggled a bit when both men were about to fall of their seats from laughter at your words “The whole package. Even if we're in public, doesn't matter. Gonna lay my claim on him and that tushy, as he calls it. Sometimes he could just be sitting and I'll go like “Hon, get up. I wanna admire and love your ass!” and you know what? He'll actually get up!”
“Hey man, can't say no to some lovin' from my wife, am I right?” Chris shrugged with a cheeky smile.
“Deep down I think I agreed to marry him just so I could do all that whenever I want to. Must admit, the ability to do that feels incredible up to this day and I sure as heck am not getting tired of it!”
“Something tells me you too could talk about his ass all day huh?”
“Or she could grab it all day too!” our husband pointed out and this time you couldn't hold your own laughter. You shrugged casually, as if it was so simple.
“I wouldn't have hesitated a second but I did because of the suit it's in. Granted, I'm more used to seeing it without clothes wether it be in out bed or the kitchen in the mornings but-” you paused when both men's laughter doubled “But I think I can recognize it with any sort of clothing from now on. Spent far too many hours admiring it all these years you know. Oh that perfect curve, nothing can compare!”
.
..
...
“Admiring it... with or without clothes?” Hemsworth asked with a smirk.
“What kind of question even is that?” you scoffed a laugh “Of course without! I try to get him naked 24/7 by hiding his clothes, duh.”
#chris#chris evans#chris x reader#chris evans x reader#chris imagine#chris evans imagine#chris fanfiction#chris evans fanfiction#chris one shot#chris evans one shot#steve#steve rogers#steve x reader#steve rogers x reader#steve imagine#steve rogers imagine#steve fanfiction#steve rogers fanfiction#steve one shot#steve rogers one shot#captain america#captain america imagine#captain america x reader#captain america fanfiction#captain america one shot
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GAAAAHHH OKAY
Let's talk about the Timephoon Episodes
This is such an old topic of discourse but after reading many fanfics, videos, and some posts on the subject I have found little divergent takes on the whole subject.
While commentators are of the mind that, for the most part, the punishment and execution of said punishment for Louie's actions were partially if not fully justified but how she went about it was wrong.
Some fanfic writers and some subsects of the fandom but they are much more critical and often in a more black and white interpretation. Which is valid for vent art. However, I find both these portrayals to be lacking in some nuance.
Specifically when it it comes to who's to blame for the next 3 episodes, and to me, its more than just Della (and Louie but there really isn't much discourse here).
Let's start with Timephoon:
This pretty much solidifies their relationship throughout the episode[Also sorry for no captions]. Multiple times Della is shown to have a very laissez faire style of parenting as she primarily wants her kids to enjoy being kids and having fun. This is probably in part to her personality in general - which is probably what Beakley assumes here - however it is also her want to be loved by her children and even more critically, she doesn't ever want them to suffer like she did. Above all else, she wants them to be happy and feel confident in themselves. We see this in all the previous episode with her and her kids - From Dewey and reassuring him that he doesn't need to prove himself to her [notably in this episode she only shows concern when Dewey himself is in danger, she doesn't give a shit when he almost kills her] to Huey and helping him to have the most fun he possibly can, to even Webby and making sure that she also feels confident in herself regardless in how she goes about things.
Bringing up all these adventures does raise some pretty damning hypocrisy. Della encourage Dewey's reckless behavior in his episode. The lesson at the end wasn't, okay maybe we shouldn't be going on dangerous adventures, it was its okay to be afraid and you don't need to prove to me that you're great I already know you are. Huey's message was similar, albeit more low stakes. Webby's lesson wasn't even that she shouldn't be trying to take such risks to find adventure in the future, it was just a lesson in not being disappointed when things don't work the way you want.
So why wasn't Louie's adventure treated the same? Well... let's look at some more examples of Beakley V Della this episode before we answer that -
This is right before the kids find Bubba, Beakley's reaction is what most people would consider to be parental as she is concerned for the safety of the kids running out in a hurricane. Again we see Della acting casual.
Once Bubba is inside and Huey geeks out about him, Beakley actually smiles bc she knows that something like this means a lot to Huey [keep this in mind for l8r]. She only gets serious after Della says it's neat without much after thought so she gives the lesson of the episode - "Small problems become big problems later if not prevented early."
Next we have Della's faux attempt at being strict with her kids. Letting the irresponsible thing happen as long as they are "safe". While also harkening back to her previous episodes where she also is shown to have this attitude that "the kids can do anything as long as they are safe with ME or Scrooge or another SAFE adult", it is also good to note SCROOGE'S expression here to her patting herself on the back for her parenting. Now he could just be confused as to why Della is taking this "lesson" as a win, but he could be noticing that she really doesn't know what she is doing but unlike Beakley doesn't make any attempts to correct this.
Another scene that people often forget when reviewing this episode, just like with all her other kids she at first takes LOUIE'S side and decides they should just roll with the punches like always. Which honestly is sort if valid because that's kinda Scrooge's whole MO; though he also had others to there to keep him afloat but we all know someone like Scrooge, Della, and the kids hardly see that. I also want to hammer home that, just like with the other boys, she doesn't shy away from displaying that she loves them ALL. A few seconds later, it's subtle but she is shown smiling and patting Louie on the head because like the other kids she just wants him to feel supported. If I was to be critical, I would say this is possibly because she likes the IDEA of her boys more than them but I mean - this is pretty much everyone's attitude towards kids. It might be amplified bc of her trauma but it's not unusual. But even still I would argue that she mainly does love the boys for who they are as she is excited to get to know them.
After Della figures that they are looking for a "master thief", Scrooge and Beakley immediately know it's one of the kids. Shocking her since she later states she is of the belief that her kids are too "good" to do something like this. I also want to bring attention, again, to Beakley smiling (ik im putting a lot of stock into expressions but animation tends to do stuff like this for a reason). She is smiling at whom she expects is Dewey for messing with time and space. Bc even if she planned to scold him, she knows it's just their normal. Scrooge seems to also be of the same mind. Later Beakley gives a really good line about "Even good kids can do dumb things. We got to make sure those dumb things don't turn into bad things like destroying all of existence!".
Mrs. B exists stage right
All jokes aside, this must have been a nightmare for all of them but especially Della. She had just finally admitted that she was out of her depth and made another mistake in parenting. But now it seems like she lost her chance to rectify that. Because for all she knows, Mrs. B will never come back. This is import-ALLRIGHTWEGETIT
Della is then shown explicitly worried about her family. Emotions, insecurities and fear obviously getting the best of her. We don't know exactly what she is thinking but we know she is terrified of the possibility of losing one of her kids. When she asks about Louie, she probably thinks he must have disappeared without her knowing. That she might have already failed more than she could know, because she wasn't there to protect him. She doesn't know - she is "Della Duck" and she doesn't know how to fix this. She didn't expect everything to go so horribly wrong, but that's her theme isn't it?
She is both relieved and understandably PISSED when finding that Louie was responsible for almost destroying the fabric of reality (let me say this again, nearly destroying the fabric of reality). She goes scold both herself and her son about the danger he put them in. Later we see Della, the last one leave and seeing almost everyone she loves vanish. We don't know how long each of the characters who left were in the past but we can assume it was long enough to have to change clothes. Yeah this was probably more of a visual gag but like, the other past characters didn't change their outfits when they came to the present so - (also Launchpad was specific about knowing how the world ends so he had to be there enough for him to understand it). Side note someones gotta write fanfic of these characters time misadventures. I wonder if Dewey and Webby ran into Agent 22.
[Last picture of the infamous scene, side note did anyone notice Launchpad NODDING his head when Della mentioned his time schemes could've cost them their future? He's the only one who knows what happened so maybe Louie's misadventure has more impact than we think-]
Anyways, yeah we know what was said here. But I think it's important to see the reaction the other adults (sorry LP, and Gryo i GUESS) have here BC this is basically why I made this post. What Della decided to do was unquestionably the wrong decision, at least her way of going about it and I will not absolve her of her many MANY mistakes. However, let's remember she wasn't alone in any of this. She was with other parental figures who KNOW more about her kids than she does.
After Louie leaves, why did they think it was good to encourage this course of action? Why did they think giving full parental control to a PTSD, trauma survivor who barely got back less than a month ago was a good idea? Sure it's one thing to not want to overstep your boundaries but are you telling me they wouldn't want to guide her in the right direction at least? We KNOW both Beakley AND Scrooge have their grievences towards Della's parenting strategy or lack there of. Beakley so far doing the most to try and put her in the right direction (which speaks volumes to the problems Scrooge has).
So why wouldn't they explain that, hey, maybe taking away the one thing your kid thinks he is good at ISNT a great idea? Why didn't either say anything about their two day vacation? Something that came up presumingly on a whim and might of prevented (although i doubt it) Louie from trying to steal w/ time? He might have considered pushing back time schemes at least 3 days later. While Mrs. Beakley might be less aware of Louie's insecurities and ambitions, Scrooge definitely isn't. He should have talked to her, and hey we don't see what happens before they leave so maybe MAYBE they did. But again, I doubt it. Seeing as how they all agreed with her at the end, I don't see them trying to meddle with her.
But they should've. They are both experienced guardians and they have nothing to say to her? Plus Donald (goddamn it i almost finished a post w/o him) have THEM responsibility to take care of the kids NOT Della. So they are obligated to help her. Really, the other option other than just well negligence would be not thinking this punishment was a big deal. I wish this aspect was also scrutinized just as much as Della and Louies role in this arc.
Beakley and Scrooge (more so Scrooge) are just as much to blame in what happens as Della if not MORE since they know of her situation in only a way that an experience adult can. There is no excuse for their negligence.
#god this was so long#i just need to rant#i hope im not alone on this feel free to comment or ask me about this crap i dont mind#ducktales#ducktales 2017#della duck#mrs beakley#scrooge mcduck#dt17#ducktales timephoon#discourse#i guess#this is misleading this was basically just Timephoon bc u ran out of space so part 2 maybe?
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“Wayward Son” — Is There Peace When You Are Done?
What we have here is an essay of sorts: a loosely organized mishmash of thoughts and opinions. Disclaimer that this is highly subjective, as it is based on my own experiences and expectations going into this novel :)
And, naturally, many Wayward Son spoilers below the cut! If you haven’t read it yet and are planning to do so, please do not proceed further. If you’ve already read it or don’t care about spoilers, c’mon in! Ain’t nobody here but me!
First Thing: I thought the plot was cool — I loved seeing the characters again, loved seeing the different magical culture within the United States as compared to the UK; all the geographical variety and how that impacted magical abilities and politics, the creatures and the nature of magic as it applied to people who aren’t mages, the syntax, and Shepard. All of that was fascinating. It felt organic and real, even though our main dude, Shepard, did drop a few exposition bombs. I loved it all.
The magical creatures touch on something that I think all the main characters learn and re-learn (and may be symbolic of their issues as a whole): there is no one way to do or be magic. The word magician can apply to any creature who is or practices magic. The UK’s mages have an expansive but selective history. They do not acknowledge people like Lamb (see Nicodemus), even though they are technically part of their world. I wonder if the UK vampires have something like what the Las Vegas vampires do — i.e. ways to feed without killing, ways of living without standing out so much, a hierarchal structure, their own historical narrative, etc.
Agatha coming into her own was fabulous, driving the plot with the vampires on her end; she wasn’t a character I enjoyed in the last book too much (I thought she was very real, even practical, she just didn’t appeal to me as a person), but in this? Loved her. And she figured out her own way to be, though there’s still a ways to go for her, I think …
There is no one way to be anything, and that’s a lesson everyone in this book needs to learn (and talk about with each other, please, please, please).
Second Thing: Dealing with Trauma — I do think this was what resonated most with me, as someone who likes it when things are not perfectly hunky-dory after severely traumatic events.
Simon is Not Dealing. He stopped going to his psychologist. He thinks about the Mage, but doesn’t fully process the impact of having killed him. He’s in mourning over his magic and the Mage and all of it, but he’s choosing to not digest it fully — every time he was happy on this road trip, I, like Baz, was thrilled, but I also knew that it was fleeting because he hadn’t really dealt with anything. The underlying cause of his depression and listlessness wasn’t being addressed. His bursts of anger, his heartbreak, his inability to let go of the wings … He goes back and forth a lot, as well, tormenting himself.
Baz is Not Dealing. Baz was suicidal in Carry On. Baz barely knows anything about vampires. He lives in fear of being a monster, and of being executed as one regardless of his actions. As much as I detest Lamb, he had knowledge: How to feed without killing your prey. How to live amongst people and blend in better. He looked physically healthier. Baz’s grey complexion is actually a sign that he is starving more often than not. Remember how powerful he is now, and imagine how powerful he could be if he took better care of himself. And how much more comfortable in his own skin he’d be, which would help with so many of his bitter self-recriminations.
Penny is Not Dealing. Wow, that break-up with Micah was rough. She has a few more moments of self-realization than Simon and Baz do, but she’s also completely caught up in her own magical world, culture, and plans for the future; she has trouble reconciling what Shepard tells her, and is still processing (accepting? Healing?) from not only that breakup, but everything else that has ever happened to her and Simon. Penny copes better, but still not necessarily well. Her can-do, will-do attitude is a huge boon, but when it fails? Yikes. I rather feel like she had overly-rationalized (maybe even over-simplified) every trauma she went through with Simon, and … the world isn’t rational or simple at the best of times. I really, really hope she can come to terms with that (and that we get to see it).
Simon and Baz Together Are Not Dealing. It goes without saying that these two NEED to talk. But their separate issues are a huge roadblock — I feel like the chances of misunderstandings occurring are high. Each is convinced that they are bad for the other. Baz is slightly better about it, but he’s so afraid of the consequences of broaching the subject, he simply won’t. And the thing is? His instincts aren’t wrong. Simon does want to break up with him. It’s based on the whole you deserve better than me assumption, but Baz is actually sensing correctly that Simon is on the verge of leaving him. They need to deal with their own, separate traumas, and they can do that together or apart, but they need to start healing in some capacity. I fully believe that they can be together, even with a break, but that break needs to come with communication? Point being, we all go through healthy and unhealthy periods, as individuals, as part of a family, as part of a couple. They are right smack dab in the middle of a rough, not-so-healthy part — however they cope with it, (TALKING AND LISTENING ARE MUSTS), we at least know that they love each other. Love alone is not enough, but it is a powerful, wonderful force in their corner.
The expansion on magic implies legion of ways in which to exist, and such is the case for coping with pain, sadness, regret, and all the other fun aspects of being humans who experience trauma in innumerable ways. Sometimes we choose things that are unhealthy as a stopgap, because we’re not ready for the work and pain that is healing. Y’all, healing sometimes is on par with the issues that made it necessary — in simpler terms, it can really, really suck at the start. Again, some of you may come from different perspectives, but this struck a chord with me.
I definitely went in with the expectation that all the issues would be laid out, and then addressed … We got the first half in spades … Did not get the second, nope.
Third Thing: The structure of this book implied right from the start that things may be unresolved, but, er, it was still a bit hard to deal with — having an epilogue at the beginning and a prologue at the end implies to me that this second book is a launch point. The prologue at the end is the start for the next (hopefully larger) narrative. That makes Wayward Son something like a sprawling behind-the-scenes look into these characters before we launch into their following, more detailed story.
But I didn’t feel too great about having been plunged so deeply into this ‘verse, only to not have a lifesaver tossed my way … Which is to say, it kept me breathless, and knowing that people survived allowed me a reprieve, but the core of this novel — the overall mental well-being of Simon, Baz, Penny, and Agatha — had me tight in its grip from the beginning and then just … kept right on squeezing at the end. Even tighter.
I don’t mind a plot-based cliff-hanger, but the fact that all the emotional and character arcs were left hanging as well? I felt like I got a decent resolution, or partial conclusion, on a few plot points, but next to no resolution for the emotional and/or psychological arcs. That I have a lot more trouble accepting. Particularly when I’ve spent an entire book with characters forced to live in each other’s space, in close quarters, and still not communicating. I wanted to rip out every beautiful thought Simon and Baz had about each other and throw it in the other’s face. Because they were gorgeous and wonderful, and for all that they are currently fractured and bleeding, they so clearly want what is best for each other. They are (mostly) selfless in their love (with a few selfish foibles, but they made sense to me).
I was also rather … not happy with the fact we got no mention of Lucy, of Davy, of them being Simon’s parents. I’m really, desperately hoping we get that in the next chapter of this series.
The positive thing I can take away from this point is that when we get to the next book (and I know there will be one — my copy literally has a number 2 on the spine, which heavily implies series to me), we will be firmly grounded in what is facing these characters both internally and externally.
The biggest issue that lies ahead is COMMUNICATION. I know (I hope like hell) this will be addressed in the next book, but I craved it so, so badly in this. Not just for Simon and Baz but PENNY. They are all sitting on shifting sand foundations now — their worlds have been completely overturned, over and over again in the past year or so, and they haven’t found firm footing yet. When Micah broke up with Penny, I very much thought that was the kick off for a road trip filled with introspection and epiphanies and finally, lots of talking about said introspections and epiphanies — I got half my wish. The latter half, I suppose, will have to wait until the next novel. I didn’t expect all the character/emotional beats to be acknowledged and resolved, but at least some of them, with room for others to be resolved in the next story, so we would have more (and more room) to explore in that novel.
As a result, Wayward Son, for the many things I loved about it, didn’t feel like a complete story for me. It doesn’t stand on its own quite as well as Carry On did. Maybe when the third book comes out, I will retroactively love it more, but for now I’m just sort of … floating along, waiting for that lifesaver. It did, honestly, feel a bit like half of a story. Half a good story, fantastic even, but still … Half.
In addition to these thoughts I’ve shared, here’s where I’m coming from, as a reader — we all come at these books from different places, different life experiences and wants and expectations.
One of my most formative reading experiences was Harry Potter. I read Harry Potter practically as it came out. I had to wait years between some of the books. By the time the last book arrived, the characters had matured about as much as I had. Because the middle books were so chunky and dense (and I loved them for it!), I was a little thrown off by how slim Deathly Hallows was in comparison, and that ultimately was reflected in my reading — it went by so quickly. While I loved it and sobbed all over the damn place, when I hit that epilogue … that’s the first time while reading that I did a full stop. All the pain and agony of that book, as quick as it had been, had been amazing, and it felt like it demanded some kind of … reflection and communication between the characters, and I thought after ten years of these books, we had a definite basis for an epilogue that could’ve added another third to this novel — maybe one that jumped through the years, showed us different characters at various stages of healing? Something involved and detailed to a degree.
Wayward Son had that rushed element to it … and I think part of that feeling was enhanced due to the lack of resolution to those character/emotional arcs — we were tumbling, running forward into a free fall and then were frozen right at that point before falling.
However, Wayward Son gives me more positive feelings than that epilogue in HP. Yes, it still feels incomplete, like half a story. But Wayward Son isn’t an end. Unlike Deathly Hallows, there is more to come, and that’s what I’m looking forward to most. It definitely has its flaws in my view, but I can reconcile them somewhat, as you’ve seen.
(There is also a whole thing involving the way these sorts of arcs would resolve in fanfiction versus the medium of a book intended for a broader audience, but that would be a whole other post, methinks. Let me know if you want me to discuss that, because I do have some thoughts on it, though they’re a little haphazard at the moment. Um. Assuming all this rambling isn’t wildly boring and/or awful for you.)
Final Thoughts: At the end of the day? I loved reading this book, even for all that I wanted to reach into the pages and knock the character’s heads together. I said, “Oh no!” out loud when I reached the end, but it was because I desperately wanted more right then and there. The fact that I want more means that, despite any flaws, I’m still on board for this universe and its characters — I still love all this magic, and this dragon boy and his vampire boyfriend :)
And now, 2000 plus words later, I am done, holy crap. If anyone actually made it to the bottom of this, thank you? Not too sure how coherent I was, but I hope some of this was of value to someone :) *many hugs*
Edit: Apparently I still had some things to say, so here is a sequel to this ramble — Simon and Baz Carrying On Like Wayward Sons.
#wayward son#wayward son spoilers#snowbaz#simon snow#rainbow rowell#tyrannus basilton grimm pitch#penelope bunce#agatha wellbelove#rants and ramblings
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RWBY V3E5: Never Miss a Beat
* PEEEEENNNNNYYYYYY * OH DIP is Penny on an actual team now?? * You guys know I love this show’s actions scenes but sometimes these characters do backflips for literally no reason
* See, like...This is a problem I’m noticing in a lot of these new female characters. There’s promise for a cool design there but they’re all made from the same model. They change the hair, skin, eye color, clothes, etc. but they all have roughly the same build and face. * Also I can’t tell who this girl is supposed to be but I’m sure it’ll hit me like a sack of bricks later * “Thank you for a wonderful time!” I’m headcanoning that Penny has a bloodthirst streak rn * Penny you can’t glomp people you way like 5000 lbs * I 100% do not have anything against Ciel’s voice at all but I think maybe her VA was a little too close to the mic? There’s a notable difference in her and Ruby/Penny’s audio quality * I’m going to throw my cards in and guess the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, maybe? I can’t immediately think of another character all about time management * “Like Weiss!” “Precisely!” I don’t know whether to be disappointed or amused that Weiss is still Salt Queen * Oh? I just kind of assumed everyone kind of knew at this point, my bad. I guess everyone thinks the multiple swords are her semblance? * And, like...is it? Is she like Pyrrha? * Missed opportunity for an “I played it off *cut to them totally NOT playing it off*” joke * Awww Penny noooo * Ruby and Penny: *important conversation about Penny’s role with Atlas* Ciel:
* Mm...it was a little short of a minute but I’ll give em credit * FREE-ZER-BURN! FREE-ZER-BURN!
* I have no idea when I got it into my head that Yang was like...EXTREMELY taller than everyone else and dwarfed Ruby and Weiss. (Unless Weiss is wearing heels) * “I think we can expect strict, militant fighters with advanced technology and carefully rehearsed strategy!”
* Weiss stop you’re walking into a trap stop feeding him * see, sometimes I’m conflicted about holding Weiss accountable for the Schnee Dust Company. Blake I feel was justified since Weiss was talking very proudly about how great it was despite its business practices, but in this case, I’m not so sure. Weiss wasn’t even gloating and he’s pulling the “You’re related to the person who wronged me” card * “Why don’t YOU? That’s what you sound like!” Wow! I hate her! * jowejowauehp I love how instead of Yang being angry she’s like “wh...huh?” * “where’d you get your hair extensions?” asks the girl that probably uses melted skittle juice to dye her hair * “...Top heavy.” * First of all:
* Second of all: Tops, by definition, cannot be top-heavy
* tfw you thuoght you were about to face some serious military-grade opponents but one’s just a smooth jazz player with a vendetta against your dad and the other is a :3 kawaii lol so random rawr girl who insults your teammate’s boobs out of nowhere * I figured the attack was going to be a sonic jazz blast * *INTENSE CARELESS WHISPER* * I wish the sound was like...actual music playing, at least. I know it’s supposed to be bad but like...my ears are bleeding.
* I’m very incredibly sorry to anyone that disagrees and/or loves Weiss but this is so far the dumbest, most humiliating way I’ve seen someone get hit in a match so far and I saw a girl break her ass on a skateboard * Sometimes the rainbow effect is fine but other times it’s not doing so great * Actual scene: high-action, gunfire, explosions The music:
* I can’t believe Yang might be beaten by Nyan Cat Beams * “Look! Now you’re bottom heavy too!” She always has been.
* don’t like that * The record scratch I’m love * Ngl I love that music transition into that sort of jazzy quartet style now that the fight is back on Weiss and Blow Job * “Too bad all that money can’t buy you skill!” Too bad having it be your only weapon on the battlefield can’t let you play the trumpet good for shit * There you go Weiss!
* I keep forgetting Oobleck actually has eyes and is kind of a bishounen behind them * Can’t believe that of all the things these people see on a regular basis it’s a guy becoming a rainbow quartet that gets the HUH???? reactions * “You are kind of pretty when you’re angry!” Okay now I’m just convinced this girl is thirsty and is flirting with Yang. * “I wasn’t saying you SHOULD go on a diet! I was saying you NEED to go on a diet!” Ooooor she’s just jealous that Yang has All That Going on For Her while rainbow girl has All...That Going on For Her
* Listen I don’t want to be a nitpicky butthole but didn’t these two just teleport over here just so he could see them? * Yang just go super saiyan already! She’s clearly maxed out your anger points. * There’s no doubt in my mind that people probably really love this rainbow girl but I spent my school years with like 4 “lol im so cewl and quirky im going 2 insult u all coy but then just straight up say wat i mean lolololol uwu” girls and she’s reminding me of every one of them * oh my fucking god she fucking dead * I am really, genuinely confused. Where did Weiss go???
* don’t like that * “Don’t worry about her! She’s easy!” Nah you just wish she was you thirsty bubblegum pop wannabe.
* YANG YANG YANG YANG YANG!! * GO FOR HER ROLLERSKATES! * Man Yang really did pull the cartoony “hold one end of the gun so it fires out the other thing” huh * Which reminds me I don’t think either of these characters had guns for weapons!
* OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE FUCKING DEAD
* Oh Weiss is there still * My heart being warmed by team FNKI actually being sportsmanlike and complimenting Yang and Weiss and Neon asking to hang out later is really confusing my body’s visceral response to Neon in general * oof. ouch. Okay. I’m sorry. But when Ruby and Blake are running to Weiss and Yang they just...shrink.
* Like it isn’t just me right? * Can I just go one damn episode without seeing the three stooges please * “What does that mean?” Mercury I hate you from the bottom of my heart but thanks at least for not just taking the whole ~mysterious evil line~ at face value * ...which is then followed by another ~mysterious evil line~ * Also, side note:
IF ANY ONE OF THESE STUPID KINDERGARTEN IDIOTS WHO OUGHT TO BE COVERED IN BAND AIDS FROM HOW MUCH THEY CUT THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWN EDGE GOES ANYWHERE NEAR PENNY I WILL TEAR OFF THEIR SINGLE PERSONALITY TRAITS WITH MY BARE HANDS
* “His heart is in the right place” Get it? Because he’s the Tin Man. Get it? Get it? Ge * “Sometimes I’m not even sure he has a heart.” GeT it? Get i T? Gte ti? ge t i ? t * “Ever since the day I met her, I had a feeling she would be the one” I am in fifty different states of confusion and anxiety right now * oh dear oh dear oh Pyrrha my dear what are you about to get into? * So as of right now I’m pretty okay with how they’re approaching the tournament arc. I was concerned it was going to grind to a halt and no plot development would happen but it seems that they’re at least taking 2-3 episode breaks to do that and even then, episodes that focus on the tournament do get at least some progression
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Rivalries || Tom Holland
Requested: @barnes-parker said: hiiiii! tom holland x reader where they’re on screen rivals (in the mcu films) and off screen (they ‘dislike’ each other). but what they didn’t know that they’re actually falling in love w/ each other? thank you!
*not my gif*
Your heals click against the laminate flooring as you walk towards your sworn enemy and fellow class mate. “Peter!” you sing as you approach him.
The boy turns to face you, recognizing your voice in an instant. “Olivia,” he disclosed. He grabs your arm and drags you off to a corner of the house. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh,” you laughed. “I thought I’d come to some popular kids party to blow off some steam.”
He rolls his eyes at you, not impressed by your sarcasm.
“I’m doing what my father should have done a long time ago. Killing you.”
“If you do that here, you’ll blow your cover, but more importantly -- mine,” Peter threatens.
You let out a devilish laugh. “You think I care if people know about Peter Parker being the Spider-Man? I don’t, and my father blew his cover last time he tried to kill you; people wouldn’t be very surprised to find out I’m bad too.”
You move your hand to reach into your back pocket, but Peter moves quicker. He shoots his webs at your hand, sticking it to the wall.
“What, Parker? A girl can’t check the time?”
He gives you a quizzical look.
“I’m not going to kill you, Peter. But I had you guessing didn’t I? I may work with my father, but I’m not going to do his dirty work. I thought I’d come out of hiding as a home-schooler and see what our class mates are like before starting school this week.” You pump an eyebrow at him before pushing past him and into the crowded house, your shoulders colliding.
“Shit!” Peter Parker exclaims.
“CUT!” the director yells.
You come out from behind the prop and stand next to Tom, waiting for feedback.
“That was amazing! Great job. Y/n, next time, make it more believable that Olivia is there to kill Peter.”
“Yes, of course,” you nod.
“Tom, that was perfect.”
A stupid grin plays across Toms face as he thanks the director.
“Okay, now. You two have an on-set interview in 30 minutes. Go get ready.”
Tom groans. “Another interview, with her?”
Your heart pings slightly, but you ignore it, playing it off with a scoff. You walk away from set and to your trailer without looking at Tom anymore. As the big characters for this movie, it would be expected that you’d have a lot of interviews with Tom, and you didn’t mind them so much. You enjoyed getting to know him. But it always seems as if he can’t stand you.
You reach your trailer, pull the door open, and let out a small cry. You hadn’t noticed the tears before. Usually, you wouldn’t care about weather or not a co-star liked you. Most of the time, you were just doing your job, but with Tom, it was different.
Taking off the heals, and your hair down from the annoyingly tight pony tail, you plop down onto the couch, taking deep breaths. It really didn’t matter. Or at least it shouldn’t. You are only working with Tom for about another week before you’re done with your scenes. Then you’d likely only see him again at the premier. Despite him being a raging asshole to you, he’s cute, he’s funny.
You decide to let yourself calm down a bit before you get ready for the interview. In doing so, you pull your knees to your chest and rest your head on them, taking deep breaths. You don’t know how long you sat like that because when there’s a harsh knock on the trailer door, you’re pulled from a trance you didn’t even know you were in.
“Y/n,” Tom says through the door as he continues to knock on it. “We’ve got to head to the interview in a few minutes.”
Standing from the couch, you open the door from your trailer, turning away quickly so Tom doesn’t see the state you’re in. You wipe the tears away on the back of your hand, sniffling.
“Why are you still in costume?” He laughs at you, which really doesn’t help your state of mind.
You take one last deep breath before turning to your wardrobe, unfortunately you have to face Tom in doing so.
“Whoa, whoa,” he says, his warm smiling falling from his cheeks. “Were you crying?”
“No,” you say, pulling something out of the wardrobe and looking down at it, avoiding his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Y/n, come on. It’s me. Talk to me.”
“’It’s me’” you scoff. “Do you honestly think I trust you, Holland.” You look up at him with hurt filled eyes, throwing the blouse you were holding onto a chair and looking back into the wardrobe.
“Why wouldn’t you?” Tom seems genuinely confused; you almost pity him.
“Maybe because you’re an asshole who can’t stand to be around me!” you shout, burying your head deeper into the closet.
“Wh-what are you talking about, Y/n?”
“Really, Tom? So you’re just going to act like you didn’t complain to the director about the amount of interviews you have with me when I was standing right there! You’ve got some nerve.” You grab a pair of slacks from the wardrobe and place them on the chair as well, turning and facing Tom. “I have been nothing but nice to you since we met! And what do I get back? Absolutely nothing. Nothing but you acting like I’m some rodent you can’t stand to look at longer than you have to on set. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Yeah, okay... You care about people, but you sure as hell don’t give a shit about me!”
You take your clothes from the chair and head into the bathroom. Tom follows, but you slam the door shut in his face.
“Y/n, come on,” he says through the door. “You’re being ridiculous!”
You scoff again but don’t say anything as you pull your set clothes off and put on the blouse and slacks for the interview. Looking in the mirror, you let out a big sigh, seeing you’ve had mascara running down your face the whole time. Tom saw the crazy bitch inside you. You wipe away the smeared makeup from under your eyes before opening the bathroom door and pushing past Tom.
“You know, Tom,” you exasperate. “I don’t know what I ever did to you to make you hate me so much, but I know I didn’t do anything to you that results in me deserving the shit you’ve been giving me.”
You throw your arms up, turning towards him. But before you could continue to curse him out, he gently grabs your cheeks in his large hands and pulls you face towards his. He connects your lips in a soft kiss that’s still filled with so much passion and pent up emotions. Your hands fall to rest on his broad shoulders, your lips moving in perfect sync with his.
You don’t really know what you’re doing, and you try not to think about it too much. He’s an asshole. You undoubtedly have some sort of feelings for him. And you’re sure Tom’s not the kind of guy to just kiss you if he didn’t have some meaning behind it. You want to let the kiss deepen, but your moral senses tell you that you need to finish talking to him before this happens, other wise you could just be a fling, or friends with benefits, and you know that won’t go over well.
You press your hands to his chest firmly, pushing him back a bit, but not too far, as you’re enjoying the closeness you’re sharing with him. He rests his forehead against yours.
“Tom...” you don’t know what to say as you let his name trail off your lips. You know how you feel, but you don’t want to put that out there when there’s still a slim chance of rejection.
“Y/n, I -- I’m sorry.” Tom’s hands fall from your face as he takes a step away from you. He puts his hands over his face, rubbing as if to wake himself up. “I’m so sorry.”
“What do yo--”
“For being such an asshole. I’m sorry. I wanted to keep things strictly professional, at least until the movie was over. And I wasn’t sure if you’d even want to -- want me. You’re just so kind to everyone -- you’re such an amazing, beautiful girl, and I could never do anything to ever deserve you. I knew keeping my feelings low was going to be hard once we starting filming our first scene. So, the stupid little boy inside me told me to push them to the side and be an asshole. Then maybe if you hated me I’d get over it. But I see now that even if you hate me, I’m still going to love you. Kissing you out of nowhere probably wasn’t the move, but I had to get you to shut up and let me talk.” He pauses for a moment.
You can’t speak as you try to process the words he just threw up.
“I--I love you, Y/n,” Tom sighs as if someone had just lifted the world off of his shoulders. He looks at you with hope filled eyes, but that hope fades when you’re left not saying anything, with your mouth slightly opened and a stunned look on your face.
“Oh, god,” he says, and his posture visibly worsens as if someone had just put the weight back on. “You don’t -- I-I shouldn’t have said any of this. God! I’m so stupid. I just ruined our easy work environment because you don’t feel the same and now this is going to be really awkward until we finish --”
Before he can word vomit anymore, before he can get himself too worked up or upset over this, you grab the back of his neck and pull him down into another kiss, this time more rushed, filled with need, yet still emotional. Tom is shocked for a moment, but calms, and settles his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him.
When you pull away for air, you look deep into his chocolate eyes. “I love you, too, Tom,” you say, your gaze moving from his eyes to his lips and back again.
A shit-eating grin grows onto his face, and he pulls back from you. He starts laughing, giggling, and you join in, though not really knowing why.
Tom turns back to you, wraps his arms around your waist, picks you up and swings you around. You squeal at suddenly being off the ground. He sets you down, and looks deep into your eyes. “I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Forgive me?”
You smile. “You’re forgiven.”
“Be mine?” he says, eyes full of hope once more.
“Yes, you dummy,” you laugh.
Tom pulls you back in for one last quick kiss before taking your hand in his. “We’re late for our interview.”
Laughing as he pulls you form your trailer, you catch a glimpse at the director, who’s eyebrow is arched at the two of you suddenly getting along. He shrugs it off and gives you a smile.
You continue giggling as your boyfriend pulls you towards the interview booth.
A/N: ugh part of this got deleted and I had to rewrite it. I hope it lived up to your expectations @barnes-parker !
#mcu#marvel#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x reader#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader
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Toilet-bound Hanako-kun: Chapter 9 - The Young Exorcist (Part 1)
Previously: we’ve dealt with the confession tree, and Hanako and Yashiro filled my heart with feelings. It was a mostly light-hearted chapter, with a lot of funny moments but that last scene we had with them was very sweet and a solid foundation for their relationship to keep growing. I’m glad that we could see that even if Hanako does have a very teasing nature, he actually seems to genuinely care about Yashiro and he can be serious when he needs to be.
Now onto the next chapter!
Ohhhh okay it seems we are shifting the focus onto the Minamoto brothers with a flashback (I’m guessing the Minamoto-senpai Yashiro had a crush on is Kou’s older brother because same last name and they do look alike (fun fact: I mistoke them from one another when Kou was first introduced because of their looks and because we don’t know the older brother’s first name, but then I noticed they had different colour hair. I guess I would have been more confused if I hadn’t been watching the anime)
Anyway, the flashback. It seems to be set when senpai (I’m calling him that until we get a name) was eight years old and he’s fighting a....thing....that will probably haunt my nightmares at some point....but yeah, they ones overseeing him point out that he’s very skilled for his age but that also is to be expected of him. So I’m guessing he must be a very well regarded exorcist now if he was THAT talented when he was a child....which makes me wonder why he hasn’t done anything about the aparitions around the school. Is only Kou in charge of it?
Look at this baby. Look at him, my heart, he’s so cute. Kou is one year younger than Yashiro, right? and if Minamoto is a second year in hs (if I’m remembering correctly), then he should be six years old here, right? Smol bean
He jumps to hug his brother but senpai doesn’t seem happy that Kou followed him to his....training, I guess? Since he seems to be surpervised by a couple of men. And it makes sense, they’re both very young and things could go wrong, especially if no one know Kou is there
And here we also see that Kou is very excited to follow up on his brothers footsteps and wants to be a great exorcist like his brother and it’s very on par with his attitude when we first met him and he tried to exorcise Hanako
But he then says “that’s what I always wanted, but...” and we cut next to him with his friends but looking back at Hanako in the hallway. And ah, the title for this week is “the young exorcist (part 1)”, so that means we’ll get a more Kou-centric chapter(s)? Exciting! That “but” and the cover page make me think that it’s very likely that he’s having doubts about the whole “beat all the supernaturals” thing since Hanako has been a pretty alright guy so far. If that’s the case, it could set up a good internal conflict for his character
This poor child is such a third wheel right now lol It’s okay, Kou, you’ll get used to their banter
But hey, it looks like Yashiro is trying to continue from where we left of last time when she decided she wanted to get to know Hanako better. Well, at least that’s what I think she’s trying to do with this compatibility horoscope
Okay, yeah, she’s definitely trying to get more information under the guise of the horoscope lol but Hanako doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. And I mean, it makes sense since I see him as someone who pretends to be carefree but doesn’t actually share important details about himself until he feels completely comfortable. After all the only reason we even know he killed someone is because Kou told us.
“If you wann do a compatibility horoscope, do it with one of your crushes. Like Minamoto-senpai or somebody” well, try not to sound so salty, mister
Kou is surprised by these news and Yashiro is saying that her crush on senpai is more akin to having a crush on an idol, someone you just admire from afar. And yeah, considerering how minimal their actual interactions were, and she realized that she doesn’t really know much about him besides what’s public knowledge
Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear lol He has the pretty boy sparkles and everything, huh? I can understand why Yashiro was so infatuated with him, he’s one handsome guy. Also if I was in this situation right now, I would crawl into a hole and die because that’s so embarrasing omg
We have a name! Teru Minamoto, okay, easy to remember. We have upgrade from senpai to Teru. And he’s thanking Yashiro for being kind to Kou, awwww
oH. That...that doesn’t look good..........that smells like trouble. Also the change from sweet older brother figure to that cold look he threw towards Hanako was quick and a bit terrifying ngl
He’s pulled Kou aside and now they’re talking and he’s reminding him that if he encounters any of the seven mysteries, he should expel them immendiately but Kou doesn’t look too happy.
Ohhh okay, Teru says that they are aware of recent change in the supernaturals’ behaviou recently and that they hadn’t acted because they hadn’t put the students in danger before. And we know that’s true if we think about the mokke and how they said that they had been living in peace with the humans at the school for a long time until their story changed and they didn’t have another choice but to do as the rumors said
He also mentions that the seven mysteries are the most powerful and dangerous supernaturals in the school. Which makes sense, since Hanako mentioned that the seven are the ones controlling the seven boundaries between this world and the spirit world.
Here we seem to get a glimpse of some of the others, but most aren’t really distinguishable. We have Yakko and Hanako, then at the far left I think there’s some sort of mask, then there’s two silhouettes, and then we have what seems to be a girl holding something in her hands and then a mirror besides her.
But yeah, Teru says that since these seven are the most problematic, they should erradicate them first and foremost. Which, from a logical point of view makes sense but since we’re privy to their behaviour and we know that we could change things if we change the rumors, I want to say please do not exorcise my baby, he’s trying to keep the balance
And it seems Kou agrees with me. Hanako still pisses him off but he admits that the little sassy ghost has been really helpful (and he even protected Kou during their escapade to the Misaki Stairs despite saying he wouldn’t). Teru really seems to disagree, though, and
oH. Again. It really seems like Teru has his mind set about this. Like, I guess it make sense, we saw that they were trained from a young age and they are part of a legendary clan that has been exorcising spirits for generations, so the history probably doesn’t have much to say in favour of the apparitions
He also answers the question I had before about why it was just Kou going after the mysteries: apparently he had thought it would be a good way to let Kou grow as an exorcist but he now sees it had the opposite effect since he’s feeling sympathy for Hanako.
“I’m taking you off the seven mysteries case” that’s-that’s really not good if his glare to Hanako earlier is anything to go by. “I’ll clean up this mess” yiKES
Oh, okay, it seems like Kou managed to buy himself some more time before his brother intervenes. And yes, here’s the internal conflict I was hoping for
He knows what his duty is but he also has grown to care for not only Hanako but also (and especially) Yashiro. So there’s not only the fact that Hanako has been helpful but also the fact that Yashiro clearly cares a lot for the ghost since she protected him the first time they met. Kou seemed like a really sweet guy and all this just reinforces that notion.
Okay, so now has make it his mission to find evidence to prove to his brother that Hanako is not a bad supernatural. And it’s not a bad plan, since he would need to keep a close eye on Hanako either way, so it works in his favour.
I.....Hanako, sweetie, why-what-
Okay, he’s clearly collecting things with the help of the mokke and putting it in the big sack he’s carrying. But yeah, it really doesn’t help his case when Kou is trying to prove he’s not suspicious
Pfffft Kou really needs to work on his sneaking abilities since he almost got discovered by a teacher and immediately after that Hanako found him. Although Hanako probaly already knew he was being watched
Also
The ghost child really has no notion of personal space, huh? It’s not just Yashiro who has to deal with him all up in her face
I really love their dynamic, they’re so silly together
Omg
Kou looks so distraugh here omg like “omfg please i’m trying to prove you’re a good guy why are you doing with all this stuff WH Y”
But Hanako is quick to point out that he’s actually collecting the things the mokke stole so he can give them back to the owners. And that this is happening because even though Yashiro changed the rumor, the mokke still feel the need to steal objects from people. And I hadn’t thought about it, but it makes sense since they’ve been doing it for so long and the rumor still technically says that they steal things from you even if now there’s a way to stop them from killing people
I just wanna head pat this cute child look at him.
Now Hanako is asking Kou to help him retrieve something that was stuck up in one of the towrs surrounding the school. My first question is why can’t Hanako float up there since he a ghost but it looks like Kou is asking the same thing and apparently he can’t float that high. Huh, okay. That kinda sucks and seems inconvenient but okay, good to know.
And Hanako is apologizing for making him go through all this trouble but he insisted because the item seemed like it would be important for somebody. He seems honest and Kou is once again hit by the feeling that Hanako is not really a bad supernatural. And yeah, it’s like I said earlier: there’s probably not a good record of supernaturals doing good deeds and that’s what his family knows after generations spent fighting spirits. But Kou is hopeful that maybe his brother wasn’t totally right and that, as Hanako has been demostrating, good supernaturals can exist.
OH
Oh no. While Hanako seems to have caught what they were looking for, he also slipped from Kou’s grasp and that’s not good....well...kinda. I mean, he’s a ghost, right? Like, this sounds horrible but he’s already dead, so he can’t get too hurt from this fall............right?
I feel like this chapter has been full of me just gushing about what a good boy Kou is and honestly? he is and I regret nothing
He’s so worried ahhhh but Hanako is okay and they remembered that the ghost was in fact a ghost so risk no greater than a couple of ghost bruises
AHHHHH
Just. This whole page. It’s so precious. Look at them sharing a laugh together because they were being dummies and then Kou finding out that the thing Hanako was working so hard to get back because it looked important was his earring ahhhhhhh that’s so cute omg look at them!! I didn’t even noticed his earring was gone! (I checked again and he had it when the three of them were talking but it was already gone when he had his talk with Teru. I guess the mokke he had on his lap took it. That was a nice subtle detail)
Awww and he’s made his decision. He believes that Hanako is proof that there are good supernaturals so he won’t exorcise him. Hanako looks shocked and is asking him what made him change his mind since Kou had himself said that he was “the evil spirit of a murderer”.
Kou says that he’s sorry because he didn’t know any better and that he’s sure that Hanako had his reason for what he did but-
...........He makes a fair point. Like, at this point we know very little about Hanako’s life and motives. The only fact that seems to be certain at this point is that he has killed someone when he was alive, but we don’t know any of the circumstances around it. He has had moments where he looked and acted with what appeared to be malice, like when he told Yashiro that crying wouldn’t solve anything, and when he pointed his knife at Kou during their first meeting and when he explained to them that scary experiences are the ones that stick in your memory the most. There’s been an underlying aura of danger in Hanako that’s impossible to ignore, there’s no denying that. But there’s still the fact that he has done everything in his power to protect Yashiro and now Kou in dangerous situations. So a part of me believes that there has to be a reasonable explanation for his actions; if we take the really angsty route I would guess that he did it as an act of self-defense or something like that. But yeah, “when is it right to kill someone?” is a very tricky question
............................ah. that underlying danger i mentioned? here it is again, back at full force.
But also the look on his eyes, while the swirls give off that crazy vibe, the wobbliness and his overall expression convey a very hopeless feeling, I don’t know, he just looks very distressed. To me it looks like he really doesn’t want to do this, but he also needs to prove his point to Kou
(゚д゚;) (゚д゚;) (゚д゚;)
Oh no (゚д゚;) (I stand corrected: I’ve spent only half of this chapter gushing about Kou, the other half I’ve been going “oh no” almost every time Teru appears)
And again: the quick switch from “pleasant charming” smile”to “I will destroy you” look is terrifying. This does not bode well oh man oh man next chapter is gonna be crazy and stressful
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