#at least she helped me w some stuff so that was cool

[rekino2114]

I've got a few Lacey requests, if you don't mind! Could you do either: 6. or 20. for Jay with a male reader 12. for Lacey with an equally insecure transfemme reader. You can do any or none of them if you like! Thank you for considering!

Jay being your secret admirer

Pairing:Jay x male reader

A/n:Sorry, I don't write for trans readers just because I'm not trans myself and don't think I could write them well. Hope you still enjoy this. Also, I did this because I wanted to start writing for Jay and Maisie too to celebrate the lacey games trailer. Also, all of my lacey posts will take place in the same au where all of the main girls are dating their own version of y/n cause they need love.

Lately, you've been receiving some weird things on your doorstep. It's nothing creepy, quite the opposite, in fact, it's very romantic things.

It's mostly love letters in which the mysterious sender writes about how much they admire you and love everything about you. They describe everything about you in details and compliments.

The letters are always signed "your secret admirer" and are often accompanied by flowers, your favorite type nonetheless.

While the content isn't creepy in on itself, the fact that your dear friend Lacey had a similar experience with a stalker, which she thankfully managed to get out of, made you uneasy to accept the letters as actual love notes so you decided to talk to your friends about it.

"You have a secret admirer? Dude That's so cool"

"Is it? It kinda makes me uncomfortable"

"O-oh does it?"

"Yeah i mean, remember what happened to Lacey?"

"......yeah"

"It's not that bad, thankfully but still"

"Don't worry if you're ever in danger just tell us, we can help you"

"Thanks girls, you're the best"

"Don't mention it, it's the least we could do"

You all fist bumped each other and then you started talking with Jay, which seemed uncharacteristically nervous

"Hey Jay, wanna go skating today I know-"

"N-no it's fine I'll just hang out with Lacey and Maisie"

You looked at her a bit suspiciously but shrugged and left, saying goodbye to everyone. Jay breathed a sigh of relief seeing you go away, since she probably couldn't have kept a straight face anymore around her crush, but quickly got worried again as she saw her friends approaching her with teasing smirks on their faces

"Soooo when are you gonna tell him?"

"Eh? W-what are you talking about dude, I don't have to tell h-him a-anything"

"..............."

".....is it that obvious?"

"I mean........."

"It's a miracle he didn't find out yet"

".....y-yeah"

"Why didn't you just confess?"

"You have any idea how hard it is? I was sweating just writing the letter"

"But why? I'm sure he loves you too, you two basically always hang out"

"I don't think so, he probably thinks of me as just a friend"

"Why do you think so?"

"I mean I'm not girly like you two I don't think he-"

"Stop it there, Jay, you're amazing in your own way, and if y/n really loved you, then he'll do it because of who you are"

"Oh.....thanks lacey...i-i didn't expect you to say that"

"O-oh thank you, m-my partner says stuff like these all the time to me so......it just stuck I guess"

"Well did you hear her? Go and get your man, it's even valentine's day so it's perfect"

"Yeah! Thanks dudes!"

Jay said goodbye to her friends and quickly skated away to pick up another bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of the letters she had already written, then rang the doorbell to your house and took a deep breath to calm herself as she saw the door opening

"Hm? Jay? What's with......the....flowers"

"Hey dude, i-i mean y/n, so yeah I'm your secret admirer, please don't think I'm weird I wasn't stalking you or anything I just really know your face, a-and was too scared to confess. I want you to know that everything I said in the letters was true, I really, really like you.....a-and so....wanna be my boyfriend?"

"......I'd love to"

".....wait seriously?"

"Of course, I love you too Jay, I never confessed cause I thought you only thought of me as a friend"

"Really dude!? Me too! I thought I was way too boyish to be your type"

"What are you saying? I love tomboys and you especially"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're so cool, I love how boyish you are if anything, it makes you special and so I love that"

"W-wow that's great! So are we like a thing or something now?"

You smiled and hugged her, making her blush, then proceeded to kiss her on the lips. She loved your lips so much that she couldn't help but feel disappointed when you pulled back

"Does that answer your question?"

"D-definitely"

"OK so now wanna go skate? As a couple"

"Sure thing dude! I bet it feels so much better than skating as just friends"

"I'm sure it does"

[marsixm]

the only thing that sucked was it was my first night rly working w the new manager and she is kinda bossy and trying to be a perfectionist hardass about shit and its like damn. girl we work at the grocery store it is not that serious

[keeps-ache]

sigh. i think i just do not like dogs very much lol

[astrxealis]

i am so used to my pinned post i kinda don't want to change the format but i want to

[millersfinest]

untethered⁴ | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 11.3k

series: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four (you’re here!), chapter five

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: +18 CONTENT, lmao flip phones, r and ellie NOT beating the cheating allegations, more use of y/n then i would prefer, she/her pronouns, afab anatomy mentioned, vulgar language, some angst (not on ellie’s watch tho), fuckgirl!ellie (kind of), the millers, r is a writer (she doesn’t write much in this ch wink wink 2.0), r and ellie conspiring, more horndog ellie, porn w plot ig, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, r is still very jealous of cat, hella angst, ellie has a landing strip ;), emotional cheating (from ellie), maria doesn’t play w r, repressed emotions, SMUT (r and ellie fuck nasty), dryhumping (underrated af), fingering, tribbing/scissoring, oral (e! receiving), titty sucking, little bit of dirty talk (not much because i’m shit at it), sub!top!ellie (?), dom!bottom!reader (?), they flip flop you guys idk.

note: i swear i can’t write smut for the LIFE OF ME… but practice makes perfect, right? my brain stopped working halfway through writing the smut portion of this so… if you don’t think ellie is giving sub!top than… you might be onto something. anywayyy, i have sm fun writing the reader and ellie’s dynamic!!! hope you guys enjoy this lengthy freaky chapter <3 and to my new followers, i see you, i hear you, and i stalk your accounts. bisou babiessss x

After your father gently chewed you out for taking so long—must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed—him and Maria took Joel to see his surprise; little Sarah. They were gonna take care of the animal work this morning, while you showed Ellie how to manage the grocery shipments. The collection of the items produced on the farm: eggs, milk and fresh vegetables. All that good stuff.

“Please, be thorough because this is how we make our money, honey.” Maria said before she followed after the brother’s, out the back door.

You swipe the clipboard off the counter that they left for you, puffing air from your mouth. Ellie followed you out the door as you led her to a trailer that kept all the products that were packaged the night before. When you lived back home, you often did the morning chores, while they did the nightly chores—although, they helped you where they could in the mornings, because you had school.

They package the eggs, milk and vegetables, but it was your job to count everything—make sure nothing was broken or eaten by bugs or tainted by anything. It was a detail-oriented job. Then, you put everything in crates and prepare them to be taken to the local shops in town. Normally, your parents dealt with that part, but not this time.

The crisp air had smacked life into you once you stepped outside. And, it was a bit of journey from the house to the trailer. The first few minutes alone, walking toward your destination, was in silence. Partially, an awkward silence. Ellie dragged her feet behind you, feigning a level of coolness that didn’t exist for her. “So, what exactly are we doing?” She questioned, peeking over your shoulder.

You peered at her, raising an eyebrow. “We’re doing a count, and a quality check of the groceries we sell to the shops at the square…” You begin, handing her the clipboard. “So, basically, a bunch of boring shit. But, at least we get to ride downtown and deliver the stuff. It’s like a fun little field trip.” Shrugging your shoulders, you arrive at the temperature controlled trailer after several minutes of walking.

“Oh…”

“This is what you signed up for, Ellie… How does it feel?” You pulled the key from your hip, unlocking the door. Naturally, you hold the door open for her, letting her walk in before you, eyeing her slender frame hidden under her sweatshirt and jacket.

She sucked in a breath, wrapping her arms around herself. Freckled cheeks turning red from the cold temperature. “Shit,” Ellie looked to you, with her eyebrows bunched together.

“Gotta keep the groceries fresh. It’s even worse in the winter. Which is where we’re headed so… Good luck, I guess.” You place your hand on her shoulder, squeezing, gently. The other hand snatching the clipboard from her hand. Keeping your eyes trained on hers, teasingly.

Surprisingly, you composed yourself enough after what you pulled this morning. Touching yourself to the thought of your past lover—it was a filthy thing to do. But, it’s not like she knew anything; at least, you hoped she didn’t. If she did, she would’ve said something by now because she was a nuisance.

Ellie jutted her bushy eyebrows upwards, humming to herself.

“All right, so,” You began, rolling your tongue in your mouth as you read down the checklist. “We should have two hundred and fifty tomato’s, one hundred and seventy-five carrots, one hundred and ten Granny Smith apples and one hundred an’ forty honey-crisp apples—“

“Wait, I’m sorry… Are we hand counting all of these?” Ellie questioned, dumbfounded.

You chortled, placing a hand on your hip. “Uh, yeah, Ellie. This isn’t a factory.”

She scoffed, looking around at all the products around her. Cursing under her breath, pushing a piece hair behind her ear. “Continue…” Ellie sighed, squatting in front of one of the crates of tomato’s. Tossing one up in her hand, examining it. “These are some pretty sexy tomato’s.” She muttered, glancing up at you.

Rolling your eyes, you hummed, dragging your finger across the checklist. “Let’s just start countin’. After each, check the list to see if the numbers match up.”

You started counting the eggs and gallons of unprocessed milk, while Ellie counted the vegetables. Later joining her with the vegetables because she was, surely, taking her time. The apples is where she found herself confused—or feigning confusion. You weren’t entirely sure, but the way she blinked at you made you consider the idea.

Perhaps, it was poor thinking on your part; locked in the cold trailer, it was inevitable for the two of you to cling to each other… For warmth. The strictness of your parents had rubbed off on you, but around her you always loosened up. Ellie was like your other half—the yin to your yang. But it always began with a luring of sorts; on her part. That's what loved about her.

Her big, earthy eyes bored into yours—penetrating you, mercilessly.

“Did you forget how to count?” You snicker, glancing between her and the fruit.

“My minds a little busy at the moment…” She sing-songed, glancing at you from the corner of her eye. There was so much insinuation in her words—you knew immediately what she was referring to. Or you were projecting like all hell.

Truth was, in those moments from her knocking on your door, to walking out in the cold to the trailer; Ellie wondered why the fuck you haven’t said anything. About the kiss, that is. The borderline makeout session that happened in that bar bathroom. What if that woman never banged on the door? What would’ve happened next? She had so many questions and curiosities that she was intending to voice.

She wasn’t mad… Just overtly interested in your thoughts beyond nobody can know about this.

You weren’t projecting at all.

Carefully, you observed her, taking in a big, deep breath. “With…?” You inquired, blinking at her, fingering the round fruits in the crate.

Ellie turned her head, slowly. “Am I allowed to speak of it while the sun’s still out?” She lightly, teased. The corners of her plump lips rising.

“Don’t be a dick.” You chuckle, narrowing your eyes. “Nobody’s around… So— speak freely, please.” Your shoulders shrugging, faking a careless demeanor.

“If you promise not to hit me…”

“Seriously?” Your features pinched, leaning back on your hands in your crisscrossed position.

She chewed on her lip. “Too soon?”

Answering her with silence was enough for her to change the subject back to what was originally intended to be talked about: the kiss.

Quickly, she recovered. “I can’t stop thinking about you— the kiss. There! I said it.” Ellie admitted, eyes searching between yours for some sort of consolation. But, she was met with none other than silence. More silence. Sprinkled with a little bit of shock—it was written all over your precious face.

Your eyebrows were stuck in a raised position, lips parted as if you heard a stranger say a foul joke over the phone. “Uhm, it’s now your turn to say: Oh, my God, Ellie! I can’t stop thinking about you, too! Let’s run away together!” She furrowed her thick eyebrows, followed by a boyish chuckle. God, that made your heart swell, then shatter.

“Fuck, Ellie… Els…” Lips gaped like a fish trying to formulate your words. That was not how she was wanting to hear you repeat fuck, Ellie—wasn’t the plan at all. Her heart completely dropped to her ass. “I don’t… Break up relationships. I’m not that kind of person. I don’t wanna be seen as that kind of person.” You explained, looking directly into her shaking eyes. Pressing your lips together, gulping, you placed your hand on her knee. “Stop thinking about me… Stop thinking about that kiss— it’s never happening again. It was a mistake.” You gently told her, with a gaze that said the complete opposite.

A mistake. That struck her like an iron ton—or like one of those comical piano’s falling from the sky. Abrupt. Unexpected.

Her lips quivered and her shoulders shrunk at your direct words. “It didn’t feel like a mistake.” Ellie muttered, clenching her jaw. “Nor did it fucking sound like one…” She followed, throwing the apple in her hand into the crate, jumping to her feet.

“Okay, can you not bruise the apple—“

“Fuck the apple…” She spoke under her breath, shutting eyes in frustration. Ellie fought the pain in her chest, inhaling and exhaling, evenly.

You looked down, pitifully. “I’m sorry—“

“Don’t be.” Ellie interrupted, shaking her head with pursed lips. “Because I don’t believe a single word that you just said.” She added, shrugging her tense shoulders.

Making a bewildered face, you stand to you feet, pushing back one of the crates you were counting from. “Well, you don’t have to believe me. Just listen to me.” You face your palms toward her, leaning forward, slightly. “I’m trying to help you, Ellie.”

She sized you up. “You think your help is what I want from you?”

“It doesn’t matter what you want, because that’s all you’re getting from me.” You told, crossing your arms over your chest. “I am not a homewrecker.”

“There isn’t a home to wreck!”

“To you, Ellie! To you there isn’t a home to wreck!” You finally raise your tired voice, ending your rushed our words with your hand over your eyes. “She worries about you, she gets two bottles of champagne because I ask for it— I’m wrecking her home, and I can’t do that. Not with a clean conscience."

A beat of silence moves through the both of you, like an elegant ribbon dancing around your stiff bodies. Trying to pull the two of you together. Ellie was standing with so much distance between you, holding herself for comfort. Cold air whistled behind your ears as you waited for some kind of response. You watched her earthy eyes search around, lip moving as she gnawed the inside of her cheek in thought. “Ellie—“ You took a step forward, reaching a hand out to comfort her.

“Did you think about that… Touching yourself to the thought of me this morning?” Ellie let the words come from her slow and full of poison, taking her time to look you in the eye. Her feet began to move, meeting you in the middle. Face to face. Chest to chest.

Words got caught in your throat as embarrassment clouded your vision and mind. “W-- What?” You stammered, frozen in your place. She was the last person you wanted to hear that; it was an accident. It just happened. Similar to that kiss you shared together. It was in her character to bring it up--you fucking knew that much, but you didn't anticipate her bringing it up so harshly.

“How would Cat feel if she found out you were fucking yourself to the idea of her girlfriend—“

“It wasn’t like that.” You tried, averting your eyes. Eyebrows pushing together, swallowing the anger building in your throat.

“Wasn’t it?” A sickening smirk spread on her lips. Chest grazing yours as she stood tall. “I heard you… Whining for me— what we did couldn’t have meant nothing.” Her voice grew gentle, hand reaching toward a warm place on your neck. Still, internally writhing with embarrassment, you let her. Leaning into her cold hand, bracing yours at the divot of her elbow.

A sigh fell from your lips, meeting her intense irises. “I never said it meant nothing.” You mumbled, breath hitching. “It just shouldn’t happen, again. We have to think of the people—“

“Can you just think about yourself for once?” Her hand slipped closer to the nape of your neck, pulling you close like you did to her. Ellie peered down at your parted lips, nearly pressing her forehead to yours. She still noticed that hesitance in your demeanor—you were talking yourself off the damn ledge. Fighting the temptation that was Ellie Williams caressing your skin. Feeling you. Tethering to you for connection.

Perhaps, there was another way she could get you to stop restraining. In order for her to give in, she needed you to decide on your own accord. Your heavy breathing wasn’t enough for her. Nor was the stressed massaging of her forearm by your desperate fingers.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone—“

“Say the word, and I’ll do as you say. Say the word... And the kiss didn’t happen…” She whispered near your lips, breathing in the air you released—which couldn’t have been healthy. Even in the face of situational rejection, she breathed you in like fresh air.

Your hand found a way to cling to her sweatshirt, bunching the material hanging around her waist. Her lips pecked the corner of your lips, moving toward your cheek, then your jaw. You leaned into her touch, whining lowly. She was suffocating in the best way. For a moment, you believed you would actually go through with it. Unable to resist her, until you spoke. “I can’t…” You mutter, with your eyes fluttered shut. But as quickly as you said it, she pulled away from you. Arms, lips—fucking everything.

There was so much hurt in her eyes, but she swallowed it down. “Please, understand.” You pleaded, automatically feeling uncomfortably cold now that her touch was gone.

“Oh, I understand, all right.” Ellie bit, dryly chuckling. She was wilting before your eyes. Just like Dina had mentioned. This is what happens to her when you’re around, and you wanted to everything to make it better. However, your morals were clouding you. The moral being: Not appearing like something you weren’t. Not even, being a homewrecker—it was worse to be seen as one, than actually being one.

Your mind was occupied by the image of her in your dreams and while you were awake—you just fought harder against it. Ellie was the exact opposite of you. She fell into you the minute she knew that she could; it was worthy of your respect in some degree. But she wasn't yours anymore. “I’m gonna go pull Tommy’s truck around…”

She swiftly left the trailer, leaving you in your abrasive thoughts. The door shut behind her and you just blinked at it. Muttering curses under your breath, tears welling up in your eyes. Your memories flashing back to what it felt like to be kissed by her. It set your skin on fire—you’ve never been more in tune with someone in your life! It scared you to take a risk as grand as succumbing to someone who was spoken for.

The one thing Ellie told you about Cat was that she didn’t inspire her. And, from her first night on the farm, the artist was back engaging in her work again. Was it conceited to assume it was because of you? Clearly, something was off between the two of them. Enough for her to be looking to you for consolation. You were her muse; there were rights that you did have pertaining to Ellie. Plus, she was yours first...

Look at you, talking yourself up to resuming the treachery that was your blooming relationship with Ellie. That burning feeling you felt seeing her features drop at your rejection was like fire up the ass; a call to action. Ellie stole that level of control from you—the idea that you could succumb or pull away whenever you wanted to.

All of a sudden, you needed her more than breath itself.

Instead of waiting by the door for her like a mannequin, you finished up the counting with quickness. Checking off the list as you finished—all the products being accurately numbered.

Ellie had pulled the freight truck around, and quicker than you thought. It was as large as the smallest UHaul truck, and packing all the crates inside wasn’t much of a hassle. The auburn-haired woman stood inside the back, taking the crates from your hands to load the products inside. Fingers grazing every other crate, but Ellie made sure not to physically pay it any mind. She was playing a game that was only entertaining to herself.

She was a warm-blooded manipulator and a very good one. Ellie believed she was using her powers for good this time, though. For true love, she believes. Her gut told her that you felt just as insatiable for her as she did for you—she fucking knows it! It makes her sick that you can’t be forthright about how you feel without worrying so much. Yeah, she should probably break-up with Cat—and, mentally, she’s been planning to for months—but right now that wasn’t the priority.

She could only set her sights on two things at a time, and that was her art and you--two things that easily coincides with one another. Like mentioned before, she’ll handle the situation between her and Cat at some point. Whenever that will be.

Ellie could feel you chipping away with every chance of connection she took from you. Finger grazes. Intentional eye contact. She would flinch every time you tried to touch her, just like you did in that bathroom. Giving you a taste of your own medicine. It felt good, although, that pouty look on your face didn't let her fully revel in it.

You drove the truck downtown to drop off the goods—trading products for checks and money-orders. The drive being the worst fifteen minutes of your life. Stuck in a stuffy truck with a woman who was pissed at you. You kept glancing over at the freckled artist, hoping she’d meet your eyes just once. But her chin was rested on her fist as she looked out the window, keeping her eyes trained on the passing landmarks.

When all of the products were delivered, you started the engine with a loud huff. Disgruntled, well within your rights. But she didn’t pay you an ounce of attention until you released an exasperated sigh, halfway down the road.

“Fine, fuck, I take it back, Ellie!” You tap your thumbs around the wheel, trying to keep your eyes on the road.

She raises an eyebrow. “You take what back?” She wanted to hear you say it; a slight smirk spreading on her lips. It worked quicker than she thought it would—you must’ve wanted her bad.

You pull the truck to the side of the road, shifting in your seat to lay your eyes on her, safely. “I can’t stop thinking about you, either…” The confession pushed from your throat, leaking with solemnity. “Or the kiss— that fucking kiss.” You shut your eyes, re-living it in your mind before her.

“Well, I already knew that… I just needed to hear you say it.” She rolled her eyes, nonchalantly, leaning forward on her knees.

“Don’t get too excited… I have a proposition.” You hold your head up high, lifting your chin. Grasping for any semblance of control that you could muster. Ellie motioned her hand for you to continue, and you did. It was difficult to say, because that meant that it was real. Your sappy, horny and sickeningly romantic feelings for her were real. “I want you, and clearly, you want me, too. So… Why don’t we just get it over with?”

A grin cracked onto her face, followed by a giggle. Freckled cheeks turning a lovely shade of red. “Get it over with? Yeah, that’s totally something a woman wants to hear—“

“Ellie, you know what I mean.”

“Do I?” She raised a scarred eyebrow. The woman leaned back in her seat, sliding down, spreading her legs apart. Ellie was thinking with a subtle smile that couldn’t leave her face. She was excited and beyond. “You wanna fuck me, y/n?” The auburn-haired woman looked over at you, tapping her hand against the passenger seats handles. “Or… Do you want me to fuck you—? I’m down for either, really…”

You scoff at her words, shaking your head. “I wanna make sure that… We’re not acting like this because of the thrill of it all… Old flings, and shit. Get this out of our system.”

“So, this is a one and done type’a thing?”

“Depends. We’ll find out, I guess. I’m willing to find out.” You shrug, flickering your eyes across her stunning face. If only you could start now…Instead of harping, you turn back toward the wheel.

Ellie releases a joyful laugh under her hand; excited beyond measure. There was a thrill to sneaking around, but she didn’t need that to be with you. “Wait… You consider this,” She gestures between the two of you. “An old fling? We were together for two years.”

“Semantics, Ellie.” You chuckled, starting to move the truck back onto the road.

She sucked her teeth. “Semantics my tits— there’s nothing old flingy about us. I’m literally in love with you.” Ellie scoffs, glancing out the window before realizing what she said aloud. Pausing with her fist covering her mouth.

Warmth gathered in your face, gripping the steering wheel to keep a restraint. “Y— You… You don’t have to say it back, but… Yeah, it’s true. I am in love with you…” Her voice trembled as she spoke, eyeing the side of your face. “This isn’t a thrill for me. But if you need to make sure this isn’t a thrill for you… I’m okay with that.”

Your heart bloomed, beating rapidly in your chest. If you could attack her with your lips while manning the wheel, you would. Choosing to be selfish was hard, especially, in a situation as taut as this one. Nobody could ever understand—you had be okay with homewrecking; you needed to figure this out. You wanted to figure this out.

It was easy to know that you were doing this for more than the thrill. But, you just had to make sure this was worth the backlash that would come of this. From your parents, from Cat, from your friends, from Ellie’s friends. It all had to be worth something.

“So… What’s the plan for this thing we’re doing? Is it, like, a date?”

You snickered, keeping your eyes on the road. “I don’t count hookups as dates. We’re gonna treat this like a one night stand… For now, at least.” You take in a breath before continuing. “My parents should be in their rooms by ten-thirty, Joel by nine— correct me if I’m wrong…”

“You’re right.” Ellie agrees, nodding her head. Peering over at you with glimmering irises.

“I’ll come get you from the back porch at eleven-forty-five— no earlier, no later.”

“This sounds like we’re about make the greatest heist known to man.” She joked, chuckling to herself.

You hummed, glancing at her, briefly. “I mean, I am stealin’ you for a night, aren’t I?”

Her cheeks immediately blushed at your words, but she looked off to the door window to hide. Pupils dilating with excitement, chewing on her bottom lip. Planning to have sex was such a juvenile thing to do—something that you used to do when you were horny teenagers. Orchestrating around your parents, sneaking around, quickies left and right. It was silly, but it had to be done; according to you, at least. And who was Ellie to object? She would do anything to feel you again.

Pulling up to your house, you parked the truck in its usual place. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to get around Cat?” You question, loosely. Somehow without that guilt that’s been creeping up your bones, imbedding into your veins.

She ran a hand through her hair, nodding with pursed lips. “Oh, she’ll be easy.” Ellie shrugged, unbuckling her seatbelt.

Your lips pull into a tight, slightly stressed smile. The artist across from you narrowed her earthy eyes, taking your hand from where she sat, leaning forward. Ellie was prepared to say some uplifting words, but she forfeited that idea as soon as her lips prepped to speak. Instead, she stood up, pulling you to the back of the truck. Where the clear windows couldn’t expose the absolute crime that the two of you were—walking moral felonies.

Her hand clenched yours, coming to stop in the dark. Your hand creeped up her forearm, pressing yourself close enough to her to be irresistible. Ellie reached for your jaw, not wasting any time to press her lips against yours. Her lips were soft and longing; as if she’s been waiting for this moment her whole life. Your hands braced at her hips, pushing hers against yours—but, she still tried to take the lead. Tongue grazing your bottom lip as an ask to intrude your mouth.

Ellie wanted to make sure that you weren’t going to change your mind. She must've not have known you as well as you thought, because you most definitely weren’t.

The feeling of her fingers creeping around your throat made you pull away. Looking at her in the dimly lit darkness of the back of the truck. Pupils dilated, completely under her spell. And she thought you were the compelling one. “Do you have any resolve?” A smile spread onto your wet, shiny lips.

“Nope!” She grinned, leaning into you for more.

Turning your face, you laughed. “Save some for later, you freak.” Ellie kissed your cheek, then kissed it again; holding your face in her hands like a delicate object. “Ellie!” You giggled, holding onto her wrists. “We can’t camp out in this truck… They’ll start asking questions.”

“Ugh, I know…” Ellie finally pulled back, but she held onto your hand because she had to be tethered to you in some way. “Do you think we’ll have any time together before later?” She was such a romantic to her core.

“Probably, not. I have to help my mom prep some food for tomorrow… I promised.” You massaged her palm with your thumb, kissing her knuckles like it was something you did all the time. It was certainly something you wouldn't mind doing all the time. “Be patient for me, yeah?”

“I can try…” Ellie pouted, rolling her eyes.

“Eleven-forty-five… You’re all mine, and I’m all yours. Just a few hours. You can make it.” You finalized before walking back to the front of the truck to exit. But not without winking in her direction, leaving her in the dark. Stuck in a paralyzed trance: You’re all mine, and I’m all yours. Was this some sort of dream?

This was really happening.

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. You helped Maria prep her biscuit dough, and marinade for the ham. As well as cutting fruit for the pie Ellie and Joel were planning on making tomorrow. It felt domestic preparing things for her and Joel--just like you used to do. Sometime during that period, Tommy and Ellie took off to the butcher shop to grab some steak—because what was a Miller’s Thanksgiving without options?

And, weirdly enough, Cat joined you and your mother in the food prep. Which totally messed up your domestic fantasy of family cooking.

She snacked on the apple’s you chopped, leaning against the corner. “Have you ever tried her apple pie?” Cat asked, taking one of the other slices that you placed on a napkin in front of her. You were trying to be nice here. “Ellie is such a great cook.” She mused, dusting her hands on the fabric of her pajama pants.

You chuckled, rinsing off the bulk of the apple slices in the deep sink. “A long time ago… It’s pretty good.”

Maria chuckled, mixing spices and seasoning into her honey ham marinade. “Bug’s a harsh critic, too. So if she says it’s good, then it’s good.”

“She does the whole sugar crumble thing. It really sets it off.” You add, dropping the sliced apples into plastic tupperware to put in the fridge.

Cat hummed, pushing a piece of her slick black hair behind her ear. “Good to know. I guess I have something to look forward to— as well as your cooking Mrs. Miller.” She complimented, sharing a friendly smile. With your head still facing the fridge, you couldn’t have rolled your eyes harder. She was so sweet it made you sick. Champagne bottles mocking you as you emotionally rejected the girl in your kitchen.

“Is there anything I could help out with?”

“No, I don’t think—“

“Of course, hon. Would you mind taking that cornbread out of the oven?” Maria interrupted you, casting you a glare that only you could notice. Jutting your eyebrows up, you scoff under your breath. She hands her mittens from a drawer to aid in the removal of the glass pan.

Sighing, you watch her remove the cornbread—the one you were going to use for stuffing. “I’m gonna go take a smoke break…” You mutter, already pushing through the front screen door.

Soon after you pulled out your pack of yellow American Spirits, placing a stick between your teeth, your mother had followed you out. With her veiny hands on her hips, staring at you like you committed some sort of crime. Upon seeing her face, you lit the end of your cigarette, jutting your eyebrows up.

“What is going on with you?” She asserted, glancing at the cigarette between your lips with disgust. Maria never liked that you smoked; she knew how bad they were for you, but you didn’t have much of a reason to care. You didn’t care when you were young, and you surely didn’t now. For a brief moment, when you and Ellie were together, you smoked less. But, after that, you picked up like you never stopped.

You puffed the smoke away from her, holding the cigarette between your index and middle finger. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Uh, you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about? You think I didn’t hear all that heavy breathin’ in there?” Maria raised an eyebrow.

“Maria,”

“Don’t Maria me.” She inhaled, pointing an authoritative finger at you. “I can’t control who you like, but that girl in there is a guest in our home— and she will be treated with respect.” The blonde woman told as you leaned your head to the side like a rebellious teen. “All that sighin’ is for the birds.”

You pursed your lips, rolling your eyes. “Heard. Yes, ma’am.”

Her bright eyes softened, watching you take puffs from the stick between your fingers. “I know it’s hard to see. I understand that. But we’re not always gonna like everything— I’m sure you know that, though.”

“Yeah,” You breathe, peering at your mother.

“Why don’t you invite that Abby girl to dinner tomorrow? Ellie told us she took you home the other night.” She offered, nudging you, playfully. Record fucking scratch.

Why on earth would Ellie mention Abby to her parents? Where would she even find the time to do that? A deep sigh fell from your lips, but you covered it with a smile. “You know, what? That’s a great idea, mom. I’ll text her. See if she has any plans…”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “This generation and their texting— give her a call, honey. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

Maria squeezed your shoulder before dipping back into the house. You leaned your elbows on the bannister, hinging at your hips. Ellie telling your parents about Abby wasn’t going to put a damper on the plans tonight—however, she was going to pay for that. Stubbing out your cigarette, you snatched your cell from your hip. Decorative chain dangling from the headphone port.

Your thumb flicked open the screen, and you began to search through your contacts looking for Abs. Perhaps, you should call her—to really make the sentiment stick. After all, she was the one asking when she was going to see you again.

You clicked the call button on your keyboard, placing it on your ear. The line trilled and trilled, until a muffled sound signaled that she had picked up. “Abigail Anderson,” She greeted, as if she didn’t know it was you. But you could hear the smile in her voice.

“How formal, Abs.” She chuckled on the other end. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?”

“You mean on Thanksgiving? Yeah, I wouldn’t be in this middle-of-nowhere town if I didn’t.” She paused, shuffling on the other end of the line. Like she was shifting in her bed or something. “Why? You wanna do somethin’?” Her voice leaked with innuendo, and it actually made your stomach churn; like you were doing something wrong.

Sighing, you turned your back against the bannister. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow… My family and I aren’t gonna eat all this food ourselves— we could use a helping hand.”

“Meeting the parents? I don’t know…”

You chortled. “It’s not like that, and you know it.”

“I said I’ll help Owen’s family with food prep… But, I should have some time to stop by.”

Yes!

“Okay, just keep me updated if anything changes.”

“I’d never leave you hangin’.”

“Right… Buh bye.” You shut the phone before she has the chance to respond. Releasing a sigh of relief. Oh, and just in time for Tommy and Ellie to pull into the gravel driveway.

You peered over your shoulder, coolly. With your bare arms wrapped around your body for warm. You watch as Tommy and Ellie hop out the truck with paper bags in his hands and two packs of beer in Ellie’s—they don’t need that much beer. But, it was a nice sight to see them laughing together. “Where’s Joel?” You question, deepening your eyebrows.

“He’s picking up a new guitar for tomorrow!” Your father responded, approaching the porch. Ellie following close behind him, looking through her lashes at you as she stepped up the wooden steps.

“Hey, Ellie.” You greeted, pressing your lips into a smile. A no strings attached smile.

“Hey, y/n.” She dragged the hey a bit longer than she should have, passing you. Tommy pulling open the screen door, holding it with his foot. But, you didn’t let her pass. Stepping in front of her with a playful smirk on your lips.

Eyeing the packs of canned and glass-bottled beer in her hands. “I hope there’s some wine or coolers in that truck a’ yours…”

She nervously chuckled, causing the blond man to raise an eyebrow. Cheeks raising and blushing. “I only have two hands. There’s two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc in there. Door’s unlocked.”

You smiled, unintentionally ogling her as she stepped passed Tommy to go inside. By the time your eyes ascended, you caught his skeptical blue ones. “I’ll go get the wine…” You mutter, trotting off the porch.

And that’s what you did. Trotted off to get the wine from Ellie’s truck. She was right, there were two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc waiting for you, and a rack of wine coolers. They spoiled you. Shutting the door with your hip, you walked back inside the house to place the items on the counter.

You didn’t notice the sight of Ellie clinging onto Cat—or it could’ve been the other way around—until you gave the room a once over. Tommy was giving Maria a chaste kiss on the forehead, chuckling against her skin. And, Ellie had her arms wrapped around Cat’s neck, pushing her into her chest. Her tattooed arms wrapped around her waist, laughing into her. That should've been you holding her like that.

It burned like all hell. And, frankly, it pissed you off on the lowest degree.

Catching a glimpse of Cat’s dark, almond eyes, you flinched. They weren’t sweet anymore, they reflected a level of competitiveness you have yet to see from her. It was completely and utterly random. Has she caught on? Did Ellie say something? Worry bunched in your eyebrows, but you averted your eyes.

Suddenly, you felt the need to write. Work on that chapter you started the other day.

“Hey, I’ll be upstairs… Gotta get some words outta my head.” You tapped your father’s arm as you passed him to head upstairs to your bedroom. “Call me if you need anything.” The words rush out of your mouth, before jog up the slippery wooden stairs.

When you shut yourself in your room, you fell onto your unmade bed, screaming into your pillow. Clutching the feather-filled sack with so much vigor, it could've popped in your grasp. That one glance had made the actions you were planning to do make a lot more sense, and you didn't feel as bad. You didn’t care if you were perceiving it wrong. There was always an inkling that Cat wasn’t as perfect and sweet as she let on. Why would she ever add her girlfriend’s ex on MySpace, anyway? Was she crazy? Most definitely.

You pulled out your computer to do as you said, opening your developing documents. Instead of focusing on the possessive eyes of Ellie’s girlfriend, you focused on your work—because, above all else, that was most important.

Eventually, Ellie went back to the guesthouse. Leaving Cat behind, since she was having so much fun around Maria and Tommy. It felt weird leaving her behind in a house that wasn’t familiar to her—mainly because the house was yours. Ellie knew you didn’t like her, but she wanted to finish the portrait she was working on. And she could only do that when her girlfriend was either occupied with work, sleep or pure mindlessness.

She tied a oil paint-stained apron around her neck and waist, before sitting down before her easel. She flipped over the breathable sheet she hung over it to protect the identity of the model. Then, she began painting—filling in the deep colors of the shed, then adding highlights to your painted frame. You were the first silhouette she added color to on the piece.

Time didn’t wait for either you—slipping by like it didn’t even exist. It was around eleven when you began searching for something cute to wear for Ellie. For Ellie—that was such weird thing to think about. There was old lacy nightgown that you used to wear, but the hems showed that you wore it to the ground. After a lot of shifting through drawers, you decided on a lacy pair of cheeky underwear and no bra—you could never go wrong with that. And, of course, a pair of boxer shorts and a large gray t-shirt. It was no sexy set from Victoria Secret, but it would do.

Ellie had always been a simple girl, just as much as you. She preferred nakedness over anything, anyway.

For the next twenty minutes, you pulled your legs up by your reading nook, scanning the pages of a hardcover book. It was a classic—something you were obligated to read in high school. You always loved books like that. Victorian. Regency. It was all so romantic.

The next time you glanced at the alarm clock on your beside table, it was eleven-forty-one. Meaning it was time to make your way down the stairs, checking for any lingering presences on your way.

Just like you thought, Joel and your parents were in their bedrooms. The kitchen was completely down for the night. The only light that was on was above the clean, silver gas stove. Shuffling toward the back porch, you cut the light on to check if Ellie was out there—and she was. With her hands shoved into the pockets of her sweatpants, hoodie over her head to keep her ears warm. They were matching tones of a light gray.

Opening the wooden door, you pushed open the screen door, eyeing her slender frame hidden under all that cotton. “Is this your incognito costume or…?” A smile pulling onto your lips. She narrowed her eyes at you, walking in with a slight sway in her shoulders. Ellie was illuminating with the confidence of someone who was about to get laid. The skip in her step didn't go unnoticed.

“Everyone’s asleep?” She questioned, swinging her arms at her side, waiting for you to shut the doors behind you.

Shutting off the porch light, you turn back to her, nodding. “Yeah. Just like I anticipated.” You watched her pull off the hoodie, mussing up her damp auburn hair. Olive eyes looking for you in the dark, expectantly. You take her hand with both of yours, walking backwards toward the stairs. “Come on,” You whispered, sweetly. Voice honeyed with anticipation and excitement. Fucking hell! Neither of you could believe that you were doing this.

“Be careful. The old wood creaks.”

“I know…”

Ellie followed behind your steps exactly, as you were trying to evade all the extra cracking from the staircase. It wasn’t a perfect journey from the first floor to the second, as some creaks couldn’t be evaded. But, nonetheless, you pulled her to your bedroom. Her hand growing clammy in yours, but you didn’t care.

As you shut the door behind you, Ellie began to look around your room. Noticing how it hadn’t changed much since the last time she was in there. The posters may have been different, but they were still there, barely peeling from the dull pink walls. And, hell, the catwoman figurines on your dresser were still in place. Collecting dust just like the sum of her own collectables at Joel’s place.

When she noticed you staring at her, the heart in her chest began to wildly beat in her ears. Her cheeks flushing a bright red, eyeing your frame.

You harbored a level of nervousness, but you were ready. Thinking in a happy medium of logic and emotion, you wanted to feel her. It was borderline nostalgic to the first time you were with her so intimately.

“This feels so formal.” Ellie walks up to you, placing her hands at your hips. Feeling the ridges of the waistline of your boxers over your long t-shirt. “Worse than a one night stand…” She chuckles, inspecting your features with anxiety. The moment she’s been wholly desiring was within her fingers, but her nervosa was getting the best of her.

You pressed your lips into a smile, placing one hand over hers on your hip, and the other on her cheek. She nuzzled into your touch, searching for comfort. It wasn’t hard to find, either. Since your thumb caressed her freckled skin—palm exuding nothing but warmth. “It doesn’t have to…” You began, voice purring. “This can be whatever you want it to be.”

Finding the softness of her throat to be alluring, you waste no time pressing your lips against her jaw. “Whatever you want it to be, Els.” You repeat against her skin, trailing down to her neck. Slowly plotting your lips against her throat, pushing soft breaths from her. Fingers squeezing at your hips, pressing them against hers. It was natural for you to take the lead with her—she was so bashful at times.

She’d spend the day tempting you with big eyes and deep kisses, only to turn to absolute putty in your hands when you took it to the next level.

Her body trembled under your touch, but the more she leaned into you the more relaxed she became. Your hand began to imbed itself into her hair, tips of your fingers grazing her scalp. A shaky sigh, borderline moan, came from her parted lips, legs wobbling to keep her standing on her feet. Did Cat ever make her feel this way? You were barely touching her and she was already making so much noise.

Tugging at her sweatshirt, you eyed her. “Take this off.” You breathily commented, sliding your hands under it. Quickly, she pulled the sweatshirt over her head, leaving her in a tight tank top, shaggy bangs spreading over her face. You push the strands from her eyes, glancing at her lips. Ellie dropped the sweatshirt at her feet, locked in a trance.

Your eyes glaze over in awe at her flushed features and expanded pupils. Drifting your middle finger over the beauty mark under left eye, drinking her in. “You’re so beautiful, Ellie.” Your voice wasn’t any higher than whisper, analyzing her twitching features. Her hand reached for your wrist, pulling it to plant her lips up your forearm.

“Says… You…” She speaks between each kiss, looking at you through her thick eye lashes.

A giggle sounds from you, watching her worship your skin, leading all the way back to your lips. Wrapping your arms around her shoulders, you get as close to her as you can. Her tongue timidly entered your mouth, causing you to release a moan of approval and affirmation.

She walks you toward your bed. The end of the mattress catching the back of your knees, causing you to fall. Keeping your eyes locked with hers, you scoot back into the middle of the bed. Ellie dropping her knees onto the mattress, crawling up to meet you. She pushed your shoulders down, collapsing atop of you to meet your lips again. Slotting her thigh between your legs, pulling up your shirt.

Her cool hand grazing over your ribs, just under your breast that hadn’t yet been exposed. Hips rolling against your thigh, sweats bunching in her crotch. “Fuck,” She groaning in your mouth, clenching the material of your shirt in her hands. Her sexual frustration beginning to take over. “I need you so bad, baby.” She whines, lips trailing to your jaw, nipping at you skin with her teeth.

One hand latched onto her hip, the other bracing on the mattress as you flipped her over. Positioning yourself on top of her, straddling her boney hips. Her wide earthy eyes peering up at you, full of desire. Boldly, you crossed your arms to pull the loose top from your body, throwing it across the room. “You have me...”

Slender fingers gripped your hips as you began to grind yourself on her. Breasts moving with every roll of your waist. Ellie reached a hand up to grope your chest, pinching your nipple with her thumb and the side of her finger. Abruptly, she sat up to plot her lips across your warm collarbones. Leading to where she could wrap her lips around the same sensitive nipple she was playing with.

A low gasp fell from your lips, falling into her, gripping the roots of her hair. “Ellie…” You sigh, rolling your eyes back—finding yourself overcome by her touch. You were trying to tease her, rubbing yourself against her like an animal in heat. But, you were just as greedy as her.

“Keep going…” She muttered against your skin, gripping the front of your boxer shorts and underwear. “Please. You look so fuckin' hot like this."

Her words shot right to your pussy, urging you to grind yourself against her harder. “Fuck… Ellie.” You cursed with your face in her hair, smelling the sweetness you craved. Her lips spread into a smile, hearing the words she's been waiting to hear. She nips your nipple with her teeth, before laying back down onto her back.

Bracing your hands on her stomach, you increase in speed, whimpering from the lack of skin to skin contact. The both of you restrained yourself when it came to noise—this was still forbidden. Something nobody other than yourselves could bare to witness and experience. But the squeak of your old bed frame knocking against the wall gave it away to peeving ears.

The brushing of you against her clothed clit, made her pant for you. Holding onto your hips, making you go as fast as you possibly could—gripping the fat of your ass through your shorts. Watching you shut your eyes in concentration, using her; trying to reach a high that she wanted to be the reason for.

She flipped you over, causing you to let out some combination of a gasp and giggle. Sprawling your arms beside your head, laying over your pillows and stuffed animals. Her earthy eyes glanced at them, picking one up. “You sure you want ‘im here for this?” Her long fingers squeezed the stuffed teddy bear.

You narrowed your eyes, wrapping your legs around her hips. “Nothin’ he hasn’t already seen.” Taking the bear from her hands, you toss him over the bed, pulling her down with insatiable desire. “C’mere,” You purr, bringing her down to your lips. Sloppily, you merge your lips together. One of your hands pulling up the white tank top that clung to her toned abdomen.

She obliged to your movements, briefly separating from your lips to remove her top. Freeing her small perky breasts. Connecting her lips back to yours, she groaned at the contact of your skin. Finding herself more intoxicated by you the more to she felt you, touched you, tasted you.

Trailing her lips down your jaw, to your soft throat—nibbling and sucking—then, to your heated chest; her hand was her guide. Slipping down your body before her lips did, tugging at the shorts and underwear that clung to you. They had to go! Her determined irises looked up at you while she licked her tongue around your areola before sucking your erect nipple into her mouth. Ellie was really making a show of it.

“You gonna let me take care of you?” Her voice was silken, moving to your other breast to give her some attention. “Prove to you… How real this is?” Instead of continuing to tug on your shorts, she slipped her hand inside. Her soft touch making you jump at the feeling of the pads of her fingers, spreading your folds.

Locking your eyes with hers, furrowing your brows, you nodded, feverishly. “Uh huh,” You breathed, rolling your hips against her touch. It was like you could feel the effects of her spreading through your muscles—as they tightened and loosened. Wilted flower, she was no more, playing with your dripping core. Marveling at how wet you were; it was surreal.

Ellie pulled back, sitting up on her knees. Her fingers hooked into your bottoms, yanking both your shorts and underwear down. You pouted, clamping your legs shut. She completely missed out on seeing the only cute lace number that you had. “I wanted you to see those.” You whined, peering up at her with a pair of eyes that just screamed: fuck me!

She kissed both of your knees before spreading them open, chewing on her lips at the sight of your glistening cunt. “I’ll see ‘em later.” You were so appetizing to look at—naked as the day you were born, clenching and trembling for her. She couldn't care less about the lacy number that was separating you from her. Ellie faltered for a moment, unsure where to start. That confidence that shot through her like a syringe of adrenaline was already fading.

When it came to sex, she always knew what to do—it was simple. At least with Cat it was. But, this was you she was working with. Her first love who was managing to give her a second chance after fucking everything up—she couldn’t mess this up. “Tell me what you want from me, baby.” She told, voice, slightly shaking. “Please.”

You furrowed you eyebrows, finding her nervousness endearing. Taking her hand, while keeping her eyes embraced by yours, you place her hand over your throbbing pussy. “I want you here…” You release a breath that comes from your diaphragm. Adding fuel to fire, you began rolling against her palm. “I wanna feel you…” Taking your other hand, you pull her down to speak in her ear. “Inside of me.” You moaned, airily, getting lost in the touch that you orchestrating. Pushing your head back into the fluffy pillows lining your headboard.

Her arms weakened, falling atop of you. She situated herself, straddling one of your legs to keep them open. Scissoring your clit with her middle and ring finger, warming you up before she inserted a finger into your weeping slit. Exhaling, shakily, at the feeling of your tight walls gripping her middle finger—you basically sucked her in.

Plotting your lips along her jaw, you couldn’t suppress expressions of pleasure that trickled from your mouth. Moaning against her pale, freckled skin as she curled her fingers inside you at a sickeningly slow pace. “Fast— ah… Faster, Els.”

She locked her eyes with yours, ingesting that blissed look on your features. “I wanna take my time with you…” Ellie kissed your lips, savoringly. “Wanna remember every sound, every look on that pretty face…” She kissed you, again. Deeper and full of unbridled passion. You could’ve came right there, looping your arm around her neck, trying to find something to hold onto.

Her touch lit your body on fire, and still, tried to restrain the sounds you made because of it. Sweat beaded in the crevices of you body, but she licked it up like sweet saccharine fruit juice. Truly, you believed she’d be at your mercy, writhing underneath you—first, at that! But, the minute you guided her, letting her know that you really wanted her; she completely gave in. Making you the one to writhe and call out for her.

Her firm ministrations felt like hours, adding another finger, brushing that spongey place inside of you enough to cause endless shaking and trembling. Borderline convulsing. There was such love in her eyes, watching you yelp and whine for her. Not even her sloppy, filthy kisses could completely hide the sounds you were making.

Clenching her hair in your hands, you felt your walls clenching around her fingers. “Fuck, Ellie… Just like that.” You whisper, proceeding it with guttural moan against her skin. The sound of your wetness filling your ears, pushing you closer to that edge. “Jus— ah f-fuck.” You cursed, rolling your hips against her.

Focusing her olive eyes on your face, she rolled your clit with her thumb. Making you grip the pillow behind your head with one hand, while your other gripped her hair hard enough to cause her a bit of pain. She whined at your touch, unable to look away from you. Freezing the frame of your mouth parted, making an ‘O’ shape, as she made love to you.

When that knot snapped in the pit of your stomach, she jumped to swallow your loud moans. Still, fucking her fingers into you to ride out your high. Your free leg snapping shut, clamping her fingers between the strength of your thighs. She pulled her fingers from your cunt, leaning back from your lips to eye the slick surrounding her fingers. Licking from the base of them, she sucked them into her mouth.

You watched her in awe, rubbing your legs together, still throbbing for her. Ellie was an absolute pervert when it came do you—could you get anymore turned on? She had no resolve, just like she said. You smash your lips against hers, growling at the taste of yourself. Your fingers begin to yank at her sweats, with the remaining amount of strength you have. “Why are these still on?”

“Because you didn’t take ‘em off.” She panted against your skin, falling back onto her back.

You chortled, pulling the pants from her hips. Musing at the striped boyshorts that clung to her, ogling the wet spot that seeped through the cloth. Your fingers lightly rubbed over the spot, grazing her erect clit on purpose accident. Her hips bucked up at you, a soft sigh leaving her parted lips. “These are cute.” You say before pulling them down her legs, flicking them off the side of the bed. “That’s me acknowledging your effort. See how easy that was?"

“I did acknowledge your effort…” Ellie whined, feeling your soft lips against her chest leading to her breasts. When you sucked her nipple into you mouth, pinching the other, she gasped. You hummed against her, slotting your leg between hers. She couldn’t help but grind herself against your thigh, groping your ass in the process.

Switching to the other lonesome breast, popping the right from your lips, you spoke. “No worries, baby, I forgive you.”

Impatiently, she humped your leg, panting under you as you suckled on her. Slowly, moving down her toned abdomen—licking and nibbling on her freckled skin. As if she were some sweet dessert on a silver platter all for you; taking your time. Popping your lips from her, you pressed her hips into the mattress. Ceasing her needy thrusts. “It’s my turn now, Els. Gotta be patient f’me. Can you do that?” You look up at her through your lashes, grinding against her glistening cunt.

Similar to how one would dangle a treat before a puppy—to get them to do what you want.

Her scarred eyebrow furrowed, nodding her head, feverishly. “Uh huh... Yeah,” Ellie’s breath hitched in her throat, watching you trail your lips closer to where she really wanted you.

She spread her legs for you, as you kissed around her mauve pussy. Gripping her firm thighs, prolonging that feeling of anticipation. Ellie threw her head back into the pillows, groaning in frustration. But she knew she couldn’t rush you���you never liked to be rushed.

Leaning your head on the inside of her thigh, you ran a finger through her wet folds, snickering to yourself. Did Cat ever make you this wet? You thought, sliding her slick over her clit.

“Never…” Ellie responded, leaning on her elbows looking down at you between her legs. You paused, not realizing that you said your thoughts aloud. Her swollen lips pulled into a shit-eating smirk; she was egging you on. It was villainous, nefarious even, to bring up her girlfriend during this moment. That may have not been your intention, but Ellie couldn’t have cared less.

All she cared about was how your fingers played with her, dredging moans from the lowest parts of her stomach. Making her have to cover her mouth with her tattooed forearm--Cat never made her do that. Not often, anyway.

You slung one of her legs over your shoulder, pushing the other against the mattress—diving into her cunt with your tongue. She was just as sweet as your remembered, like tree sap, and you sucked her up as such. Switching between thrusting your tongue into her hole, and suckling her clit; popping it from your mouth like it was candy.

She writhed because of your touch, lifting her hips off the bed as if she wanted to get away from you—but both of you knew that wasn’t true. You just pressed harder into her, making out with her pussy. Time was nothing but a construct to you between her legs; you had all the time in the world to make her feel good. Fingers grazing the strip of auburn hair leading to where your lips met—a landing strip.

You couldn’t have been happier, pleasing her so!

Sweet, pitchy moans came from her, the ones that slipped from around the forearm she bit—trying to be mindful. But, when you slipped two fingers into her, keeping your lips wrapped around her throbbing bud, a high-pitched shriek released. You moaned into her pussy, fluttering your eyes shut at the sounds she was making. It was music to your ears.

Feeling her eyes on you, half-lidded and dark than usual, you look up. “S— So fucking g— good… Uh!” She stammered, breathing heavily as she neared her climax. Collecting spit in your mouth, you dribbled it from your mouth. A glob of saliva mixed with her cum falling onto her blushing bud. Ellie moaned your name in a way that sent chills down your spine. Curling your hips into the mattress.

Her inner walls tighten around your curling fingers, letting you know that she was close. But that’s when you pulled away, massaging her tense thigh. Ellie sobbed, banging her fist against the bed. “You’re being such an asshole, baby. Nothing's every straight forward with you." She complained, rolling her hips against nothing as you switched positions.

Baby, baby, baby… You loved when she called you that. Even when you were the one calling the shots.

“Am I really…?” You breath, crawling up her body. Intertwining your legs, your pulsating buds meeting at the center of you.

“Ngh…” She whined at the contact, looking between the middle of your glistening bodies. “You're fuck-- fucking insane... Uh...” Ellie pleaded, words breaking up as you began rutting against her. Her wide eyes looking up at you as a grin stretched onto your lips; riding her into next fucking week.

Gripping onto her thigh, juices mixing at the center of you. You lifted her leg over your shoulder, surprising yourself with how flexible she was. Sloppily, you dragged your lips against her calf, unable to hold the sounds of pleasure coming from your throat.

“F— Fuck, yeah… Yeah!” Her orgasm hit her like a ton, causing her to shake under your quick rutting. Ellie’s eyes squeezed shut at the overwhelming feeling of her climax, sucking in a taut breath—not realizing that you weren’t stopping.

She began to squirm under you, gripping your thigh, trying to push you off. Whining and sobbing, but when you leaned down, hooking her leg under your arm—pressing your chest against hers, delicately kissing her flushed freckled skin; Ellie held onto you. One hand supporting your rutting hips, the other gripping your hair; moaning and breathing into your ear as a personal boost.

Although, she was overstimulated, she begged you to kiss her. “Please, kiss me— I wanna kiss you, baby…” Ellie babbled, wanting that intimacy of skin to skin—she wanted nothing but your lips as you came undone; just like the first time.

The rhythm of your hips began to falter, hinting at your release. Inhaling, sharply, you whined against her lips. Finally slowing your hips down to a sensual roll. You released her leg, settling comfortably between her thighs—lazily making out with her. Her hands cradled your back, holding you with a sort of gentleness only she could harbor.

She began to pepper kissing at the corner of your lips, toward your cheek. It was innocent and full of… Love.

This wasn’t for the thrill of anything but reuniting with a first love again.

Your eyes were shut, melting into her sweet touch. “Ellie,” You chanted, furrowing your brows. Uh oh. “Ellie,” You repeated, trying to get her attention.

“Mhm.” She answered, finding your eyes with her round ones. Looking up at you like you were the only woman in the world. Despite all of what you just did, there was so much innocence in her deep, evergreen eyes.

Your features grew hot under her gaze, eyes welling up with hearty tears. Lips quivering, working a sob up in your throat. Crawling off of her, you stuff your face into your pillows—trying to cover up the embarrassment that was crying after sex.

The only thrill that was apparent was your love for her. She made your heart jump and skip a beat—nobody else could do that. You thought that hooking up would’ve made things easier, but it was the total opposite; things just got so much harder because now there’s so much more to hide.

“Woah,” Ellie turned on her side, reaching for you as you hid from her. Her hands massages your shoulders and caressed your skin to soothe you. “Sex with me is so bad that I made you cry?” She rasped, chuckling under her breath, joking.

You peer over your shoulder, sniffling. “What? No. No, Ellie, you were perfect— more than perfect.” Gaining some courage, you turned on your side to face her. And, Ellie couldn’t keep her eyes off you, or her hands.

Lightly, she collided the palm of her hand with the side of your ass, squeezing your warm flesh. “Then, what’s the problem? You know I don’t like seeing you cry…” She spoke, wiping away the tears that were staining your cheeks.

Seeing how gentle she was with you only made you want to cry more—sob into her actually. “It’s just… When you leave my room tonight… You’re going back to her— to Cat.” You mutter, holding onto her wrist that connected to your face. “I’m being selfish, Els— just like you wanted. I don’t want you to go back to her.”

She scooted closer to you, looping her arms around your neck. “I thought you were going to reject me, again.” Ellie chortled, placing a chaste kiss on your nose. You rolled your eyes, leaning into her arm. “You know, for your appearance and shit—“

“Ellie, shut up. I’m trying to be serious.”

That lovely boyish laugh came from her as she tucked her head into your neck. Clinging to you like a bear holding onto a stiff tree. Ellie had always been a bit of a cuddle bug. “I’m being serious, too. But… Go on, babe.”

You dragged your fingers along her back, causing her to shift a little bit. She was awfully ticklish. “I thought we were done for good after your seventeenth— I thought I stopped loving you because of it… I guess that isn’t true, like, at all.” You scoffed at yourself, nuzzling more into your touch. Squeezing your eyes shut as if she were going to slip from you. However, Ellie wasn’t planning on going anywhere—whether you were on top of her, beside her; hell, across the fucking room! She wasn’t going anywhere.

Tears began to well into your eyes again as you clutched her. “I’m so sorry for hitting you, Ellie. I’m so sorry.” You weeped into her shoulder, allowing her warmth to nurse you. “I shouldn’t have done it… I wish I could take it back." You couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if that never happened. Would the two of you still be together?

“It’s okay… I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. Listen, hey,” She pulled back to meet your trembling eyes, still finding ways to wipe your tears. “I know you like the back of my fucking hand. You would’ve never done that if I didn’t say what I said— I should be the one saying I’m sorry. And, I am very sorry.” She spoke from the heart, as your hearts held each other—chest to chest you were; skin to skin. It was all so intimate.

A smile spread on your swollen lips, pushing pieces of her hair behind her ear. “If it makes you feel any better… Joel adopting me is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.” She leaned in toward your lips, peering at them, entranced. “The other was meeting you.” Her lips met yours, kissing them languidly. You opened up for her, allowing her to explore your mouth with the utmost of trust. Running your hands along her scalp, tugging.

She was such a charmer. The truest of charmers—full of nothing but endearment.

“Are you gonna break up with Cat—?” You pulled back, only a few inches from her face. “That’s not a question, actually… I need you to break up with her.” The truth was, after this spontaneous little hook up, you’ve come to the conclusion of a fundamental truth: Ellie was yours, and you didn’t want to share. First dibs, right?

“I mean, now wouldn’t be the best time. But, I do plan on breaking up with her— how else could I spend more time with you?” She attempted to smooth her words over.

You stiffen, scooting back a bit more to see her. “Okay, so… Can I get a timeline, Ellie?”

The artist sighed, averting her eyes. “I don’t know a timeline, right now— after Thanksgiving? I don’t know.” A wrinkle formed between her thick eyebrows, responding to your charged words. Her tone leaked with defense and it pinched a nerve within you.

“You don’t know?” You questioned, weakly. Quickly, you parted completely from her, swinging your legs over your bed. This wasn’t going to be a mistress situation—you refused for it to be that.

She called your name, sitting up on her elbow and forearm. “Baby, don’t be like that—“

“I’m not being like anything, baby.” You mock her, standing up to walk over to the shirt you threw to the side. Ellie couldn’t help but ogle your naked frame, sitting up the bed. She even watched you slide on those lace panties she barely noticed before.

“Hey! I was gonna keep those!”

“You snooze, you lose—“ You pick up her clothes, tossing them in her direction. “Get dressed, Ellie.”

Your demeanor had completely changed; it hardened because of her uncertainty. Ellie had been planning to break up with Cat for a long time, but now the pressure was on. Believe it or not, she didn’t want to drop a bomb on her partner during the holiday’s—and they still lived together. Certain arrangements had to be made before she could just break it off. She wanted to be with you, only you, but there was still a lot to think about.

You stand with your arms crossed, raising an eyebrow. “Get dressed, please. We have a long day tomorrow-- actually, today.” You gestured you hand: Hurry up, after correcting yourself, glancing at the alamr clock. It was one-something in the morning. Ellie scoffed, shaking her head. She slid on her sweatpants, purposely leaving her boxer shorts behind—slyly tucking them under your pillow. Maintaining eye contact, she pulled her tank top on, attempting to do that thing she always did—lure.

“You can’t seriously be mad at me, y/n…” She pouted, meandering toward you. Placing her hands on your hips, pulling you flush against her. “You can’t possibly want me to break up with her on Thanksgiving.”

“I didn’t say to break up with her today, but an estimated time would suffice.” You assert. “I’m not some side chick, or— or some mistress, whore, or whatever.”

She nodded, pursing her lips, squeezing your hips as an affirmation of want. “You’re right. You’re not any of those things. But Cat and I live together and a good portion of my stuff is under her care— I can’t just break up with her all willy nilly."

“Wow, so now you’re being super thoughtful.” You roll your eyes, scoffing.

Ellie chortled. “I guess you could say… I got some things out of my system.” She leaned toward you, glancing at your lips. But you didn’t press forward, at all. You just stared at her with a raised eyebrow and a subtle smirk on your lips.

“Ha ha. You��re so funny— I’m dying of laughter.” You intone, pulling her hands from your hips. “I’ll walk you down. You have a girlfriend to get back to.”

She rolled her eyes, sliding her feet into a pair of slippers. Opening your door, you led her out of your bedroom, taking the same path down the stairs you made going up. Hoping that the creaking would cease for a moment. “This was supposed to help us, not hurt us…” Ellie whispered, slightly saddened, holding onto your hand.

You sighed, looking over your shoulder. “It didn’t hurt us. I’m just irritated, okay?” When you appeared in front of the back door, you turned on the light. Unable to leave her completely, you walked out onto the porch with her—hand still in yours.

“Don’t be mad at me.” Ellie tugged you close, placing her hands on your shoulders. Sliding up the softness of your neck and jaw. You responded with a shrug, reaching up to hold her wrists. Thumb caressing the soft thin skin, feeling the lumps of her pulsing veins.

The freckled artist leaned forward to plot her lips on yours again, but you spoke before she could do so. “Abby’s comin’ to dinner tonight…”

She paused, dropping her hands from you, immediately. “What the fuck?”

You ran your tongue over your lips. “Consider that me getting you back for; one, bringing her up to my parents, and two, not giving me a timeframe for your stupid breakup with Cat— you’re on thin ice, Ellie Williams. Thin. Ice.”

The auburn-haired woman scoffed, peering off into the dark. “What? You think I care about her? I don’t even know who she is.” She was too stubborn to admit the amount of irritation that boiled inside of her at the sight of that blonde bit--

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you were looking at her at the Tipsy Bison…” You told, crossing your arms. “The quicker you get rid of Cat, the quicker I get rid of Abby— simple.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. “You’re so childish.”

“I prefer to call it… Whimsy.” You sneer, sizing her up. “Goodnight, Picasso.” You turn to walk back into your house, but her hand reaches for your wrist.

“I love you… Okay?” It was spoken with an airiness that made your knees weak. Ellie was trying to words on her tongue, feigning confidence. Even though, she was still so unsure about how you felt. The slight, twitching furrow in her brow tugged at your swelling heart.

Your other hand grazed hers, comfortingly. “I love you.” The words came from you with certainty, caressing the exposed skin of her hand. “See you later, I guess. Since it’s morning.”

“Yeah, see you later.” She kissed your hand before hopping off the porch.

You watched her jog back toward the guesthouse for a few minutes before entering the house. Shutting the doors behind you, your body filled with giddiness the moment that you were alone, not realizing there was another presence in the dark kitchen.

On cue, he cut the lights on, standing with his strong arms crossed over his chest. Your breath hitched in your throat, freezing in your bare-footed steps. “I don’t wanna assume nothin'… So, I suggest you start explainin’ what in the hell’s bell’s is goin’ on here.”

Fuck.

taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt , @hopingforgoodblogs , @lia-winther , @macaroni676 , @tobiotruther , @anewkindofloove , @fatbootymuncher , @maiaska , @culuvr , @0phantom0 , @onlinelesbo , @bbnbhm , @lovelaymedown , @lamorenita , @scatapple (some of these weren't showing up but i hope i got everyone who asked)

[the-s1lly-corner]

SCRAMBLES IN-

Ive had Cotl Bishop relapse and stumbled across your one bed trope with them-

What if lamb catches on that something more might be brewing and lowkey ships it, so they just upgrade the already existing hut instead of building a new one.

And just a few headcanons as to how reader and bishops grow closer/realisation that their cult leader ships it?

(I think it would be funny if at dinner one time lamb just asks 'so when are you gonna ask them out?' and that sentence alone almost kills the bishops again /joke)

P.s would reader be allowed to be a cuddle bug?

P.s.s sorry if this a lot, feel free to pick and choose what parts of the idea you want to include or not. If you want to cut down on the amount of characters Shamura and Leshy would be preffered. ^^

Lambert playing matchmaker w/ you and the bishops

rubs my little hands- you guys ever make all your other followers to go sleep on holy day rituals but leave just 2 followers (that you ship together) alone so they can actually befriend each other and/or fall in love or is that just me notes: reader is gn, playing off of the one bed trope post , post game but not post final quest, short time jump so its at least within a few weeks of the respective bishop joining the cult, written on mobile cws: implied freaky stuff but like "lambert jokes about sending them and you to the mating tent to try to bring you two closer"

Leshy

He hardly needs the Lambe help to make his move on you, hes still got that god like arrogance... he sometimes pops out of the ground just to bug you while you're working... may attempt to drag you off to do something else

...it does sometimes take him a while to recognize the feelings as romantic, before he just loved how attentive you were to him.. it reminded him of how his followers used to fawn over him in godhood

Probably has the balls to scurry into your bed and ask to huddle up with you- it's too cold in this shelter, hes a bug! Hes cold blooded! Warm him up!! ..his moss.. leaves.. things... dont feel too bad.. and if it's too hot? The moss is cool to the touch! It's a win no matter the condition!

If he could glare at the lamb he would, the question of when hes going to ask you out doesnt make him falter... grumbles under his breath about the lamb being annoying and to go away... he cant see the smirk they're giving him

Finds himself working in the same areas as you- if you're chopping wood hes chopping wood.. and so on... not that hes actually going to do work, hes going to attempt to drag you off somewhere

Heket

Shes like her younger brother, shes confident enough to eventually make a move when she feels its right... she won't turn you down for a cuddle session even if shes not entirely a cuddler...

The lamb catches her beelining for wherever you're working to make sure you're not overworking yourself- and how she sometimes forcefully drags you to get some water or to take a break

She actually can glare, and the look she gives the lamb is enough to kill but they remain unphased and ask if she wants them to assign her to the same jobs as you

Super straight forward when she does ask you out, torn vocal cords make it hard to dance around topics- it may almost come off as a threat but that's just because of the growl and strain, her body language tells you shes trying to be tender

Kallamar

If he didnt feel humiliated from getting his ass beat twice by the lamb he would waste no time in trying to romance you- if he had met you later after hes been in the cult for longer, then itd be a different case...

Hes more subtle, testing the waters to see if you're receptive slowly getting bolder with time until hes basically flirting with you

Damn near inks himself when the lamb asks him when he plans on asking you out... would he like it if they sent the two of you to the mating tent to spend some time together? They say it jokingly but he nearly jumps on the offer... though he'd much rather the idea come from you

Subtly brags about his past accomplishments to try to win you over, regardless of if you know he was a bishop or not

Shamura

Slow slow burn, theyve never rushed into relationships so why start now? They want to know all there is to know about you before committing to you.... this leads to a lot of late night talks in your shared hut

Waits until you're both done with your work for the day before coming to you

To outsiders there doesnt seem to be any feelings on their end- but to their siblings and the lamb.. they can tell.. it also helps when at least one of those people can read minds

They don't give much of a reason to the lamb asking when they're going to ask you out- actually they answer honestly if theyve already decided when

Bonus they chirp/purr at you. Literally the only hint to you that they might have some attraction to you prior to asking you out- excluding them outright saying they think you're beautiful or a good companion to have or the longing gazes or how they guide your hands for a task or-

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

time for ur yearly halloween request from me >:3 so idrk if ur still super into pokemon sv (ik it’s on the list but still) but anyways. paldea gang + dlc friends go trick or treating, or to a haunted house, or maybe a halloween party! just some good ol fashioned halloween fun yknow? bonus if u add some funny ghost type shenanigans or make the reader’s bday halloween (i forget if u already did one w the halloween bday lol) -galaxy :3

Yesssss in the spirit of Halloween I shall deliver <3

Also happy birthday, galaxy!

.....

Haunted houses weren't exactly...the group's forte considering what happened with Pecharunt in Kitakami, but you were determined to help your friends conquer their fears of the spooky and unknown.

Plus, it was your birthday, which so-happened to fall on the same day as Halloween.

They couldn't say no, and eventually they all agreed to meet up at nightfall (after your earlier birthday celebration, of course).

Everyone wore their spookiest outfits and headed for the haunted house that was set up in Area 6, where there was also a mellow Halloween party for anyone who didn't want to experience the attraction.

Inside there were just a few generic Halloween decorations, and actors dressed up like the Hex trainer class with zombie motifs and their ghost/psychic/dark Pokémon trained to scare visitors, putting on quite a show.

Upon entering the house, you were able to very quickly put everyone on a scale from most to least brave: Arven, you, Penny, Nemona, Carmine, and Kieran.

Arven did jump at one or two sudden noises, but otherwise thought it was silly that any of this stuff could scare people....

Penny's seen enough horror movies to point out the tropes and make remarks on where the actor are likely to pop up--although one did take her by surprise and she almost dropped her glasses as a result.

Thankfully it was too dark for anyone else to notice.

Nemona genuinely thought one of the actors wanted to battle, and she almost sends out her starter--until you grab her hand and prevent her from wrecking the house, reminding her they're just acting.

She gets flustered and apologizes, and at the end she admits to LOVING the house, eager to go to it next year.

Carmine acts like she's tough shit and ready to defend Kieran....only to be startled and wary of every little noise the house makes.

She refuses to admit that, scoffing if you were to even remotely imply she was scared.

And Kieran is..well..still trying to recover from the "mochi curse" and hides behind you as often as he could (which makes him a prime target for the actors and their Pokémon to spook him), trying to assure himself it's all pretend.

You were worried it was too much for him to handle, but by the time you all get out, he reassures you that it was actually pretty cool.

He wouldn't mind going next year with you all, hoping it'll become a regular thing in this group.

[harrysfolklore]

since sarah n mitch are taking a break from the band, could you write a blurb abt babysitter!y/n?? like did she stay home or is she still on tour w harry??

nanny on tour

i really really really hope you like this ! let me know your thoughts

BABYSITTER!YN MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

Life couldn’t get any better for YN and Harry at the moment.

Even though they just celebrated their first anniversary together a few months ago, it felt like their relationship had been going strong for years, deciding to move in together after Harry’s Los Angeles residencies were done with the promise of a bright future.

However, not everything had been easy for them and they had to face a big challenge for their relationship in the middle of Harry's NYC residencies, when they had a pregnancy scare.

"Okay, let's not panic," Harry said when YN told him about her period being late after many days of feeling sick, taking her hand in his. "We'll figure this out together."

And they did.

After being by her side when she took the pregnancy tests that came out negative, he promised her that it would´t change their relationship, it would only make it stronger.

And now they were on their shared Los Angeles home where they were staying for a few days before embarking on the next leg of Love On Tour; Australia, New Zealand and Asia.

Harry was excited to say the least, not only because he was finally going back to playing for those crowds, but also because YN was finally going to be able to actually attend the shows, since Sarah and Mitch decided to step back from the tour life for a moment and focus on their baby son.

"I can't believe you're finally going on the road as my girlfriend and not Mitch and Sarah's nanny." Harry said as he watched her throw stuff on her suitcase from the bed, they were catching their flight to Australia early in the morning.

"I'm excited," YN told him, a small smile showing, "I'll finally have the full Love On Tour experience, huh?"

"And then some." he replied with a smirk on his face, and YN's packing up was long forgotten as he pulled her to the bed with him.

The next morning, they woke up early and headed to the airport to catch their flight to the first stop on the tour, Perth. As they arrived at their hotel, Harry watched as YN's eyes widened in amazement at the sights and sounds of the bustling city. They spent the day exploring together, trying new foods and taking in the local culture.

As Harry prepared for his first show, YN watched in awe as he rehearsed with his bandmates. It was a part of the show she rarely got to see since she was on the road working, and as she watched him command the stage and do what he enjoyed the most, she felt herself falling even more in love with him.

When the time to get dressed for the show finally came, Harry's nerves about YN being in the crowd and watching the show for the first time kicked in.

"You're going to be amazing out there," YN said, taking his hand in hers.

"I hope so, I don't want to disappoint you." Harry replied, his nerves still getting the better of him.

"Come on, how on earth could you disappoint me, lovie? You're Harry Styles, that's like, impossible" YN tenderly said, rolling her eyes with affection.

Harry couldn't help but laugh at her words. Even though he was one of the biggest stars in the world, YN had a way of making him feel like a regular guy, and that was one of the things that made him fall for her.

"I'm just a guy with a guitar," Harry said, pointing to his instrument.

"And an incredible voice, and cool outfits, and a nice arse too" YN added, standing up and walking over to him, making him laugh and pull her closer.

"I'm going to miss you while you're on stage," YN spoke again, her voice soft and sweet, making Harry melt, "But this time, I'll be right here when you get off stage and not all the way back in the hotel."

Harry instantly smiled at her words, excitement taking over her body, "I'm going to miss you too," he pulled her close and gave her a kiss, "I'll be thinking of you the whole time," Harry said, his forehead pressed against hers.

"Go make me proud, rockstar." and with a final kiss to her lips, Harry was ready to take stage

That night, YN stood in the crowd as Harry performed for thousands of fans. She felt a sense of pride and admiration wash over her as she watched him sing his heart out on stage for the first time as his girlfriend. When the show was done, Harry rushed backstage where YN was waiting for him, held her tightly in his arms.

"I'm so happy you're here with me, Nanny." he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm happy to be here," YN replied, smiling up at him. "I can't wait to see what other adventures we'll have together on this tour."

As they headed to the next city, Harry felt a sense of excitement and contentment wash over him. He knew that having YN by his side on this journey would make everything even more special, and he was grateful for every moment they had together.

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @noitsmebecky @abeanontoast t @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi i @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @itsgabbysblog g @theekyliepage @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @harrybabyyyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry @lomlolivia @itsgigikay @goldensstateofgrace @missmielyhoran @fdl305 @lightsoutstyles

[atlabeth]

shades of cool

pairing: javier peña x fem reader

summary: you come to javier in a last ditch effort to save your life after it all falls apart around you.

a/n: me when im addicted to angst... im sorry i cant stop hurting my r characters. anyways im watching narcos w my roomies and we all cannot stop thirsting over pedro so i had to write something. please do not ask for a sequel because i will not be able to control myself and i already have too much stuff on my plate!!! if i do write another part it will take forever so pls understand that i just wanted to write something short for javi and apparently i cant do that without adding backstory lmao

also! r is colombian but writing this whole fic in my shitty high school spanish would actually be a crime so just know they're speaking in spanish the whole time. thank you for your consideration

wc: 3.3k

warning(s): typical narcos stuff. angst, r's brother is dead and she's passively suicidal, javi is an asshole half the time and a sweetheart the other half so some hurt/comfort

Javier Peña was not having a good day. 

He slept like shit. His coffee tasted like shit. He’d run out of his favorite cigarettes. Some idiot bureaucrat broke his coffee mug in the office. And worst of all, it was like he and Steve had hit a wall in their chase. 

Every lead they went out into the field following turned out to be nothing but bullshit, and if they actually managed to get good intel, they showed up to nothing—one of Escobar’s thousand informants always tipped him off one way or another. 

Noonan was on their ass about their methods, and Carillo’s methods were giving Murphy morally cold feet, and Murphy’s wife wouldn’t stop pestering Javier about making sure he kept his partner alive.

Javier wasn’t heartless, and he wasn’t a fucking idiot. Steve might’ve annoyed him, but they were partners. He wasn’t going to leave him out in the dirt, no matter how much he might’ve wanted to. 

But it had been a very long, very disastrous thirteen hour work day, and all Javier wanted to do was sit down, tend to his budding alcoholism, and smoke a few cigs. But of course, in all the chaos of the day, he’d forgotten that he was out, so he had to stand up, put the glass down, and go to the corner store. At least it was a Friday night—he could always sweet talk the cashier that worked Friday nights into giving him a discount. 

He ended up getting more than a discount—she gave him three packs for the price of one, and all it took was a smile and some compliments. At least some parts of the world still worked in his favor. 

Javier was in a better mood on his way back. It wasn’t much considering how shit his day had been, but he tried to ignore it as he opened his new pack. He took out a cigarette and tucked the rest into his pocket. He was about to light it when a voice spoke up from behind him. 

“Are you Javier Peña?”

He had half a mind to pull his gun out on the spot. Usually people asking about him by name on the street wasn’t a good thing, especially in Spanish. 

But he didn’t. He stopped in his tracks and turned, immediately locking eyes with the source. He wasn’t expecting someone like you, standing stiff with crossed arms and hardened eyes. He wasn’t expecting a woman at all—especially one that didn’t look interested in him. He’d been propositioned enough on these streets to know you weren’t a working girl.  

Javier glanced away to light his cigarette and blew out the smoke before he finally looked back at you. 

“Who’s asking?”

You didn’t shift beneath his gaze. “Someone that needs your help.”

He looked you up and down. You weren’t dressed in any particular way, just a linen shirt and too-long cargo pants fringed with dirt. Definitely not a working girl, and you weren’t exactly rolling in it either. 

“I don’t run a charity,” he responded.

“I’m not asking for charity,” you said sharply. “But we can’t talk here.”

Javier raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re DEA,” you said. “You know better than anyone that the walls have ears.”

“You’ve got information?” 

“I’ve got a gold mine,” you said. 

Javier stared at you for a good, long moment, almost hoping he could read your mind if he looked at you for long enough. You didn’t waver, didn’t look away—just met his gaze with those sharp eyes of yours. 

He normally wasn’t this desperate. But right now, they needed any intel they could get—especially if it could get them through back doors. 

Eventually, he cursed under his breath and shook his head. “Fine. Follow me.” 

He turned and started walking, and he could see you following him in the reflection off a storefront’s windows. You caught up to him relatively quickly, and he passed another glance at you. 

“If you’re fucking with me—”

“You think I’m stupid enough to fuck with the DEA?” you interrupted. 

“I never know with girls like you,” he said. 

You scoffed. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Girls that track me down on the street and try to become informants,” Javier said. 

He saw your jaw clench in his peripherals. “Well, I’ve got a pretty good reason to hate Escobar.” 

Javier hummed and blew out another cloud of smoke. The nicotine had to ease some of the sharper edges in his mind. Was probably why he felt more agreeable to what many would consider a bad idea. 

The two of you continued the rest of the way in silence, though Javier noticed how you kept your head on a swivel. Eyes constantly darting around, focusing on shadowy areas like something was going to jump out at you, not going a minute without checking behind you. 

Not only did you not have a sense of humor, you were jumpy and paranoid. Just what he wanted in a potential informant. 

He suppressed a sigh. So much for a relaxing night. 

-

You grit your teeth as Peña patted down your body. The warmth of his hands against your bare arms was a shock, especially when you could feel it through your shirt—part of you expected him to be cold to match the rest of his demeanor. “Is this really necessary?” 

“Gotta make sure you’re not bugged,” Peña said. He moved to your sides, then your front and back. Your loose button-up didn’t give the opportunity to hide much, but he didn’t seem like the kind to take chances. 

“Why would I be bugged?” you asked wryly.  

“Because the head of a DEA agent goes for 500 grand,” he responded in equal fashion. His hands didn’t linger on your chest as he finished vetting your torso, at least, which seemed like a low bar to clear. “Besides— beautiful Paisa approaches me on the street, implies she has information on Pablo Escobar, I take her home? Sounds like the start of a bad joke that ends with me getting my head blown off.” 

“Nothing about this is a joke,” you said. 

“Well, I see people get their heads blown off every day,” he said as he crouched down, finishing up his inspection with your legs. “I try to keep the mood light when I can.” 

Peña stood up after he got to the bottom of your left leg, seemingly satisfied, and gestured at his couch with his head. “Sit.” 

“Are you finally done?” you asked mockingly. “Think I’m clean?”

“Don’t give me a reason to think you’re not.” He picked up a near empty glass from a side table and walked into the kitchen.  “Now do us both a favor and sit down and shut up.” 

You decided to meet him halfway as you took a seat on the sofa. “I never knew DEA agents were so mean.” 

“I’m being pretty nice right now, all things considered.” You heard the clinking of glasses and liquid pouring from the kitchen, but you didn’t look up. You just stared at your hands, trying to suppress the rising dread in your chest. 

A part of you didn’t really know what you were doing. Talking to a DEA agent was about the worst thing someone in your position could do. All it took was one bit of gossip in the wrong ear, one of your brother’s old friends to wonder what you were up to, and you were dead. 

But the worst case scenario had already happened. As far as you were concerned, you had nothing left to lose. 

You started at the sudden sound of Peña setting something down on the table. You glanced up to see a bottle of whiskey alongside two glasses—one filled with a finger of liquor, the other empty. 

“You a whiskey girl?” he asked. 

“No,” you said. “But I could use some right now.” 

He chuckled and filled the other glass, then pushed it over to you and set the bottle down. Javier picked up his own glass and took a sip, then leaned back in his chair. He looked every bit the ruminating agent as he stared at you. 

“So,” he said, “what the fuck has you asking me for help?”

“My brother worked for the Medellín Cartel,” you said. 

Peña's eyebrows rose. You guessed he probably didn’t expect you to say that. 

“He get fired?” 

You picked up the glass and downed a third of it, grimacing at the taste. You really weren’t a whiskey girl, but you preferred to focus on the burn of the liquor rather than the memory. You scraped your nail against the glass once it faded. 

“Killed.” 

“About the same thing for Escobar,” he said. He leaned forward. “You work with him too?” 

You shook your head. “I stayed as far away from all of it as I could. But all Marcelo saw was the money.” 

You could practically see him file the name away in his brain for future use. It probably wouldn’t get him far.  

“So your brother works for Escobar, takes a wrong turn, gets killed,” Peña said. “And you come to me because you think they’ll come after you?” 

You shrugged. “Marcelo had his cartel friends over all the time. They know me, know my face—know that my brother told me shit they don’t want repeated.” 

Peña tilted his head. “So you choose to rat them out rather than take his place.” 

You scoffed. “They beat him black and blue before his best friend shot him in the head. They left him in the living room for me to find. I’m lucky I’m here talking to you, agent.” 

“Well, what got dear Marcelo killed?” he asked. 

You gave him a mirthless smile. “He made one mistake and it ended up being the biggest one of his life. They gave him a target to take out. He failed, loudly and obviously in El Poblado. Escobar snipped the loose end.” 

Peña’s eyes widened. “Your brother was behind that botched assassination on Luciana Rodriguez?” 

You nodded. “The only thing worse than killing a journalist is failing to kill a journalist—especially one that’s refused dirty money. The mess was all over the papers the next day, and she was giving interviews the whole week.” A chill fell over your skin as your hand tightened around the glass, and you had to glance away. “Marcelo was dead before he could even try to plead his case.” 

“You truly have my sympathy,” Peña said. His eyes had softened, no longer looking like they were skeptical of every word you said. “Burying a sibling…” He shook his head. “It’s awful.” 

You shrugged. “It’s how it always ends, isn’t it?” 

“For those at the bottom of the ladder,” he said. “Why do you think Escobar gets everyone else to do his dirty work?” 

You tipped your head in recognition as you took another sip of whiskey. Much better than the shitty liquor you were used to—despite the money Marcelo started raking in from his cartel jobs, the two of you never really grew out of the bottom shelf. 

“I never actually got to bury him, though,” you said. “Soon as I found his body, I took what I could and ran. I wasn’t going to wait around for a bullet in my head too.”

“I’m surprised they weren’t there waiting for you,” Peña said. 

You chuckled wryly. “Me too. But I’ve learned to count my blessings when I can get them—they don’t come around too often for people like me.” 

A shaky sigh fell from your lips as you leaned back, taking a moment to compose yourself. You hardly knew Peña, yet you were telling him about some of the worst days of your life. 

“I stayed at some shitty motel for the past few days trying to figure out what to do,” you said. “I remembered hearing your name around some of the circles—a DEA agent who seemed to have endless amounts of informants. I… I mostly got lucky finding you.” 

“It’s very brave of you,” he said. “But why now? Why not in the middle of all this, when you had the most access to information?”

“I’m a selfish woman, Agent Peña.” Your gaze fell down to the amber liquid—it was easier than looking him in the eye. “I didn’t want my brother to get hurt, so I kept my distance and I kept my mouth shut.” You paused, shaking your head with a slight laugh. “No, actually. I told him a thousand times it was better to be poor and honest than rich with dirty money. But all we’ve ever known is poverty—Marcelo wanted more, and Escobar offered him a way out.” 

Peña offered a thin smile. “How do you think he gathered so much popularity so quickly?”

“Believe me, I know.” You huffed as you sunk into the cushions. “I still remember that day he came home after Escobar announced he was running for Congress—400,000 pesos, just handed to him. How could he not fall further in?” 

He raised an eyebrow. “And you’re sure you haven’t?” 

“Some of the money I took from the house is probably dirty but…” you shook your head. “But Marcelo gave them everything he had, and they killed him for it. Nothing could make me work for those motherfuckers.” 

“I do like a woman with principles,” Peña mused.

You huffed another mirthless laugh as you leaned forward, setting your glass on the edge of the table. “Can you help me or not?” 

“You want me to ensure your safety in exchange for the information you have,” he said. 

You nodded. 

“Well, my protection is pretty valuable,” he said. “How valuable is your information?” 

“Marcelo was a floater,” you said. “He did work for whoever under Pablo needed it. I’ve got names from Gacha, the Ochoas, even some of Escobar’s main men. And I know the names of some rats in the police department, even one in your precious DEA.” 

Peña frowned. “Who?”

“Maya Alberts. Gringa secretary from Utah.” 

By the look on his face, you gathered that you were right. “How do you know that?” 

“Just because I didn’t get involved in all that shit doesn’t mean I didn’t listen,” you said. “His friends saw me as lesser than them—idiots talked around me all the time.” 

“You have this in writing or anything?” 

You tapped your temple. “It’s all up here. You give me a pen and paper, I can get them all down.” 

He blew out a loose breath and shook his head. “You’re valuable.”

“I told you.” 

“Well, I didn’t know you were this valuable,” he said. “I have to run all this by Murphy and the rest, but if your names match up, you actually are a gold mine.” 

“And you better do everything you can to take them down,” you said. 

“We have to be careful about all this,” Peña said. “If Gaviria or Gacha or— or god forbid Escobar figures out that you’re running your mouth, you’re going to be their top priority.” 

“I don’t care,” you said honestly. “If my death is the price I have to pay to pave even one brick on the path to nailing Escobar, then I’m okay with that.”

Peña pursed his lips. “My informants aren’t usually so…”

“Suicidal?”

“Uncaring,” he decided. “The best informants are the ones that stay alive long enough to be informants.”

“I’ve lost everything, Agent Peña,” you said. “I want justice against the men that killed my brother. I don’t care what I have to do to get it.” 

Again, he stared at you. You don’t know what he thought it would do for him—if he believed he could tell whether you were lying or not by looking in your eyes, if he was trying to memorize how you looked in case he had to turn you over, if he just liked looking at people. But eventually, he sighed. 

“You’ve bared your soul and we’ve just met,” he said. “I think you can call me Javier.” 

You nodded. “You’d better take these men down then, Javier.” 

He smiled as he stood up. He actually had a pretty nice one. 

“Like I said, I have to go over all of this with my partner—maybe get Carillo involved too.” He looked at you. “It might take some time while we verify it all, but don’t worry. I keep my informants safe.” 

Your mind went back to the mangled body of your brother, sent as a message to Escobar’s people of what would happen if they crossed him. You could only think about how much he suffered in his final moments. 

Bile creeped up your throat, but the memory still burned more. All he wanted was a better life for the two of you. 

“All I care about is taking these bastards down.”

He shook his head. “You might not care about yourself, but I do. You’re staying the night here.” 

You frowned. “I have—” 

“You don’t have somewhere to stay,” Javier interrupted, taking the words out of your mouth. “You’ve got a shitty motel that’s probably already on the cartel’s radar. You go back there, you get a load of lead in your brain.” 

“Still.” You glanced around. “There’s got to be a better place than here.” 

Javier raised his eyebrows. “You don’t like my place?” 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you bit back. “It— it’s just your place. I don’t want to intrude.” 

He actually laughed at that, a genuine sound you weren’t expecting. “You’ve got the Medellín Cartel on your ass and you’re worried about imposing?” 

“Well—” your frown deepened— “when you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.” 

“Because it is.” He left you with that as you started to walk towards the hallway. 

You figured you would be crashing on the couch—it was pretty comfortable. Most things in Javier’s apartment were cheap, but this seemed to be one thing he splurged on—him, or the DEA when they outfitted the place. The plush cushions had just enough give to support you, stark contrast to the stiff state your body seemed to always be in these days. 

He came back holding a bundle of sheets, a blanket, and a pillow. He set it down on the chair he’d been sitting in and looked at you. 

“Are you going to get up?” 

“Those are for me, aren’t they?” 

“‘Course not,” he said. “You’re sleeping in my room. I’m taking the couch.” 

You scoffed. “You want to talk about imposing—” 

“It’s for your own good,” Javier interrupted again. He seemed to like interrupting. “If someone tailed you here, or somehow figured out you’ve come to me, then they’re gonna break in through the front door or the window. I’d prefer to be the first line of defense in that case.” 

“You can’t be serious,” you deadpanned. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Javier said bombastically. “You came to the DEA agent for protection, and now the DEA agent is protecting you? How in the world will you survive?” 

You scowled at him, but you stood up anyways. You took the chance to polish off the rest of your glass—you didn’t grimace as hard this time, at least. 

“Bathroom is on the left, kitchen’s right there.” Javier pointed his finger as he talked, which he then aimed at you. “Don’t move anything around. I’ll know.” 

Deciding to bite your tongue, you nodded. Javier Peña was, after all, doing you a ginormous favor. You stopped right before you could reach the hallway and turned back to look at him, already at work stuffing sheets in the cracks of his couch. 

“Thank you,” you murmured. “I— I appreciate all this. More than you know.” 

Javier paused at your words, and when he turned around he had an uncharacteristically soft look on his face. 

“...Course.” He nodded his acknowledgment. “Sleep tight.” 

Your lips twitched in the slightest smile. “You too.” 

As you walked down the hallway, you felt his gaze burning into you. You resisted the urge to look back.

[sinnabarmoth]

what kind of deres r the guys (+ explain?)

This is where being an anime nerd is finally helpful! (BTW some of these dere types usually are associated strictly with only women but I feel that is limiting so everything is unisex!)

Zayne: The best fit I could think of for Zayne is a Rindere. Rinderes are described as being this really reserved, dignified, and mature person who has a kind of cool and distant attitude. People look up to them because they're super calm most of the time but they do act more outwardly loving when with their love interest. And if that does not perfectly describe Zayne I don't know what does! Zayne is a very mature personality and he is always trying to be very dignified when talking to people. The only person he ever seems to show a more emotional side to is MC, even if he starts treating her cooly at the beginning he opens up more as the story goes on and has a playful personality in memories.

Xavier: I was actually stuck between w for Xavier. My initial reaction was to classify him as a Nemuidere. Nemuidere are people who are just super sleepy and only care about sleeping, their love interest is like the only person that can wake them up and keep them awake. It was just too perfect not to at least mention it for our chronically sleep guy. But if I had to pick a more serious one I'd go with a Dandere who are said to be very quiet and stoic characters who only come out of their shells and act more talkative and cute when with their love interest. Which given how in Xavier's anecdotes and stuff he's described as not being very social and keeping to himself a lot of the time also works for him.

Rafayel: I feel like I'm shitting on him a little bit but Rafayel is a Shundere. A shundere is known for being very sad when their love interest does not pay attention to them. Full on pouty and lost baby boy. They do not want to be alone and will give their love interest a very sad cute face to guilt them into staying with them. That's Rafayel to a tee! This man got upset when you didn't come visit him in the hospital sooner to the point he pretended to have amnesia because of it. He checked himself into the hospital over a sprained ankle just for the drama of it. He's also been waiting hundreds of years to be with MC again so yeah, he's gonna be really sad when not with his love interest.

Sylus: Sylus was actually really hard to place but in the end I had to go with my gut. Sylus is a freaking Smugdere if there ever was one. Like the name suggests smugderes are super cocky, they love teasing their love interests, and they have a signature smirk that they flash at their love interest just to get a rise out of them. They act super composed while teasing them and are more joking and sarcastic about it than actually feeling some kind of superiority or entitlement. Look me in my eyes and tell me that isn't Sylus. Sylus loves teasing MC and keeps up his composure while doing so but I feel like it is done out of humor rather than any kind of actual malice.

Yizhou: I simply do not know enough about this man to give him anything other than Osadere. Osaderes are the childhood friend who either always loved their love interest or grew up and realized they were in love with them. Yizhou gives me big, they were always in love with MC vibes but didn't say anything because he didn't want to jeopardize their friendship in case she didn't return his feelings. I wish there was more for me to say but that's really all I got for the guy.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 173 spoilers and thoughts but it's mostly just me getting tonal whiplash but not in a bad way i actually like this and more below the cut

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sorry i keep doing this (i.e. yelling about the very last panel of the ep instead of going chronologically) but i wanted to show this last panel first,,, idk how many alilloyd fans there are on tged-tumblr (tgedblr?) but i believe they'll be very happy about this panel and probably the next ep or so LOL

she's there for him again YAYYY YAYYYY but also what how did she get here WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?? HELP??

hopefully whatever happens after this will help alicia and lloyds relationship feel more balanced (rn its like fine but it definitely doesnt carry the same weight as llovier to me, simply bc we dont really see alicia and lloyd relying on each other in the same way javier and lloyd do - idk how else to put this but the "power balance" in their relationship feels different than lloviers if that makes sense, bc so often lloyd is doing things for alicia and that's just It yknow?)

anyway back to the top! we've got some really really nice panels of lloyd i just really like these in general,,, i like when he looks determined and serious and focused,,, it is cute

also explicitly mentioning this while also showing alicia IN the unfrozen time bubble with lloyd DOES make me worry a lil bit,,, what if smth happens,,, does fate still affect them when Most of the time across the world is frozen?? im scared,,, but also excited for more alicia lloyd scenes i can explain why in a bit,,, but also scared,,,

tyrant alicia looks cool as ever tho holy shit im VERY glad that the artist gave her a full set of armor and everything, so often we see fantasy stylized women's armor that really doesn't protect anything at all but alicia's armor is really nice and clean i like it,,,

also another panel of lloyd being cringe and javier being embarrassed,,, they're so stupid i love them . LET LLOYD BE CRINGE LET HIM BE FREE

this bit w artanis and the family was also super duper cute,,, little sillies,,, like treats,,,

seems like everyone will be safe for the time that they are frozen,,, thats good!!! at least i hope i am understanding this correctly

also thinking a LOT about these two panels bc,,, not only bc i really like how he looks in the second panel here, but also,,, well as i was reading this i hadnt realized that lloyd would be going off by HIMSELF to the mountains,,, i thought javier would go with him (bc he always does,,,)

i talked abt this when i reacted on twitter but like. javier asks if he's going by himself and lloyd goes "yeah it's fine" and javier doesn't question it, we don't see him objecting or anything,,, bc of course, lloyd will stay safe. that's what he says, so that's what'll be true. javier is also perfectly aware that lloyd can't be harmed by monsters, he's a sword master and has his singing. so the knight lets him go, bc this is a lloyd with a plan, and javier trusts his lord. but also it seems like javier doesnt really realize what exactly it is that lloyd is subjecting himself too. idk if he realizes that every time lloyd freezes time THATS whats freezing his heart; all the knight knows is that lloyd is dying, but the engineer has a solution so surely it's okay (it's not, lloyd is DYING IN THE COLD). jesus fuck

like i imagine if javier realized what exactly it is thats causing lloyd to Die is the exact stuff he's doing to stop fate and save everyone, he'd object immediately and try to find something else,,, but lloyd you fucking MARTYR u dont even say anything abt it and u GO OFF ALONE IN THE COLD WHAT ARE DOING WHAT ARE YOU COOKING. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!! MARTYRS ALL OF YOU!!!

also lloyd saying he's happy god fucking dammit. he has a goal and he's close to achieving it and all his loved ones are safe,,, that's probably the best feeling in the world to him that's the reason why he does like everything,,, it's just to protect what he cares about,,, this tiny lil smile i am going to shake him in a box

"lucky! this is perfect" AS HE'S DYING LLOYD YOU. YOUUUU YOU OYUU SHAKES YOU STOPP IT YOU FUCKING M. MARTYR!!!!

why is he like this. well okay i know why but like what the FUCK. i am pelting ten billion stones at him. risking his damn life AGAIN to protect everyone. leaving javier at the estate and not telling him what the deal is so that javier can be protected too bc thats where artanis is,,, all his loved ones in one place to keep them safe I HATE IT HERE /j

DOUBLY LOSING IT AT HIS FIRST THOUGHT, THE MOMENT HE GETS IN TROUBLE, IS TO CALL FOR JAVIER. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD TO THAT I JUST THINK THAT SAYS SO MUCH ABT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

"ah, im dying! the first thing i think is not how to solve this myself, nor is it of my parents or of my skills, but of my longtime companion who has always been there for me and thus will help me when i call for him! and i think of him immediately!" points accusatory finger LLOVIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i was gonna end the post there but i scrolled back up to review and realized i forgot to actually explain why i am excited for more alicia lloyd scenes so that's gonna go here now i guess LMFAOO

i really really hope that alicia and lloyd have a closer, more quiet moment to talk about their respective lives and history with losing loved ones and feeling isolated as a result. i WAS gonna talk abt that in a dedicated alicia post but i guess itll make a cameo here too lol

bc if u think abt it, suho and alicia both went through very very devastating losses. they both lost the lives of the people who cared for them most, and in very very tragic ways (suho's parents committed, and alicia's parents were slaughtered / alicia's brothers put her in a 'kill or be killed' situation). it's really unfortunate, it's life-altering, and it follows you,,, and then the isolation that comes after that makes it all even worse.

of course, we see suho very explicitly going through throes of isolation through endless work, endless school, and the sheer struggle to just survive to the next day by himself, with no family to support him. obviously, we don't see alicia explicitly having this experience, but i think it'd be reasonable to believe that after the death of her family,,, it was just her. she lost her parents and her brothers, and now she's the only one with the magentano name, and you can't exactly have an empty mantle now can you?

she probably didn't really have anyone to talk to about this. probably just a bunch of old coots on that board of nobles, who have to help her with this "being queen" thing, u cant exactly talk abt ur trauma to people who are technically working for u, who care more abt their status in the kingdom than anything else. and at such a young age, too... like yeah she's surrounded by people technically, but how many people around her actually care for HER, and not for her new status as crown princess? and then as queen? like no wonder tyrant alicia comes to be because of a betrayal from kyle, no wonder she's worried abt letting lloyd into her heart. she's probably been worried about betrayal from a loved one all her life bc of what her brothers did,,, that must be so isolating, and lonely.

so yes, i think alicia probably went through a long bout of isolation, too. and i think alicia and lloyd should Talk about it and have a heart to heart and go "jesus fuck we went through it,,, but we have found people we can rely on. and isn't that wonderful,,," and then alilloyd will have a wonderful leg to stand on yay

i WOULD go on longer about alicia in this rant but i wanted to save it for the post i was planning,,, i couldn't help myself this time though, bc it seemed relevant LOL

anyway i'll see u guys next week,,,!!! very curious to see where things go from here,,, pantara arc pulling shenanigans left and right!!!

[rekino2114]

Type of dates the p:e.g. girls like

A/n:here is the eden's garden fluff post hope you enjoy and that it's not too late to at least ease a bit of the trauma

Eva tsunaka

She likes board games date

She has a lot of tabletop games that she likes to play with you, and so she just invites you to her dorm, and you two do a board game night

She prepares snacks and everything so you can go on for a long while, and she's actually amazing at explaining the rules

Sometimes you also invite some other of your classmates to play together (mostly Damon because no one else wants to hang out with him)

Her favorite game is monopoly cause she knows all the strategies and doesn't mind how long it gets (it's more time she gets to spend with you) and her least favorite is uno simply because it brings out her more competitive and angry side like it does in everyone

"W-wait no that's illegal! You can't put a plus 2 on a plus 4....I'm gonna look it up!"

Cassidy amber

This one's pretty obvious but video games date

She has basically almost every video game in existence so of course she would share them with her lovers

This girl has a terrible sleeping schedule, so sometimes she'll just call you in the middle of the night cause she has this new really cool game she wants you to try

She likes playing co-op games most of the time because when she plays games against you, she absolutely destroys you. She lets you win sometimes because she loves you, though

Sometimes you also play together on stream and Cassidy's chat loves you

"Come on, babe, don't be upset that you lost. I'm the ultimate pro gamer after all, it was pretty obvious I would have won. Wanna do another round? I promise I'll go easy on you this time"

Eloise taulner

After watching her train, you two go take a walk in a park

The whole ambiance is really relaxing, and that's what Eloise likes the most in dates, especially after a hard day of fencing

You two sit at a bench, and sometimes she talks about what's on her mind, and other times, she just silently lays her head on your shoulder and relaxes

She likes to pet the animals she sees there

You often pick flowers for her along the way so that at the end you can give them to her, she always blushes but her heart just melts at how cute the gesture is

"O-oh are those......for me? T-thanks they look really pretty.......I love you.....t-them I-i meant I love them!"

Wenona

Shopping dates all the way

It's more like she buys anything you even look at while you just wander around the store

She already is basically your sugar mommy, and in her words, spending her money on you is the best thing she could use it for

Even with how much she reassures you that it's fine you still feel kinda guilty about using her money sometimes so you buy stuff for her too, which she appreciates

If anyone has anything to say about that or is just rude to you in general her attitude and a few comments about being able to buy the entire shop quickly shuts them up

"What's that y/n? Do you want that? Oh no don't worry, that's just pocket change to me"

Grace madison

She can't be bothered to plan a date so you often just follow her around for what she does for fun, which is mostly playing golf and working out

Working out with grace is kinda awkward cause she won't pay attention to you at all while exercising, and any conversation you try to strike up with her is mostly ignored

She does appreciate it when you help her though, like bringing her a water bottle or a towel later. If she's in a good mood she might even kiss you and then immensely go back to her aggressive self

She'll yell at you a lot if she catches you, staring a bit too much at her while she works out.....But she's not stopping you don't tell anyone that, but she actually kinda likes when you watch her. It's nice to know you think she's attractive

Which is the reason why she occasionally sends you gym pics when you don't come with her. If you dare mention it to her, she'll just call you a dumbass while blushing

"Oi, what are you looking at? Tch damn soybean, just go and get me my water or something instead of ogling me, idiot"

Diana venicia

Diana is down for basically any date you want to go together, she just really loves being with you no matter what you're doing

But if you ask her to pick a date, she usually resorts to very simple and cozy home dates

You stay and cuddle on the couch while watching some movie that fits the season. she usually likes corny romance movies cause she actually believes in true love, she has you after all

When the movie ends you talk about whatever you want, mostly about classes or your classmates or how much you love each other. Diana could rant for hours about how amazing you are

If you're OK with that she'd love to do your make-up, or just do her own make-up while you watch, she asks you what kinds look good on her (you think she looks beautiful with anything)

"So baby, what do you think of this? It's a new color I didn't try before. Awww, thanks so much. You look even better than me, hehe I love you so much"

Ingrid grimwall

Like Diana Ingrid doesn't really mind what dates you go on, she just likes being with you

She'd probably be into more thrilling dates like going to amusement parks or walks in the woods

If you're scared to go on the roller coaster she'll hold you the whole way through and that makes everything better

Even if it's not really a date she also likes to bring you to watch her work, especially if she's crafting something for you, she wants you to see how it's made with all her love

"So how do ya like it sugar? Is it good? I tried my best I really hope you like it, if ya want I can make another one for me so we can match"

[warriorlyy]

HELLO I JUST WANT TO INFODUMP AND ADVERTISE MY RAREPAIR!!!

this is like a commercial, my pitch, my selling point for this ship, irukawa or irumaki aka miu iruma and maki harukawa r girlfriends

Ok TLDR; miu make weapon, maki use then they kiss

In more words…..

Ok so miu and maki are both insecure in their own rights. Maki is confident in her talents and doesnt seem to think highly about anything else she is. Miu is very outwardly confident, especially in her looks and talent, yet shes also extremely insecure in these things, or at least, craves validation

Hence this hc i came up with one day that im gonna slide into a royal au.

Miu: “you know, you’re actually pretty gorgeous for an assassin, like fuck, you look hot as shit.”

Maki: “…yeah sure”

Miu: “Im not fucking around, and when youre not glaring at me like you hate me or some shit, or being all angry at me, youre pretty fun to hang with.”

Maki: “Hm, i could say something similar.”

Miu: “?????”

Maki: “when youre not being a loud, abrasive annoying and shouting crude things, youre actually pretty smart and tolerable to be around”

Miu: (flustered beyonf belief and dies idfk)

JUST UGGGHHHHHHHHHGHGGGH I LOVE THEMM

They bounce of eachothers insecurities so well. Miu learns that under makis walls, shes just a sweet, pretty girl. And Maki learns that Miu’s actually cool when shes not trying to overcompensate to get attention

I cant explain it well enough but theyre like that domestic couple that somehow *works*

Maki casually doing chores and/or cooking, Miu fixing stuff around the house and buying cute things for the two of them (and decorating their house)

Id like to think they both do small things in eachothers lives that makes everything run smoothly. From Maki making miu breakfast when she wakes up late from working until 4am, to Miu picking out oufits for makis days

College au, they help eachother with studying and its genuine help because they have respect for eachother cuz they both smarties and

THEY WATCH CARTOONS TOGETHER 🫶🫶

Ive got this postgame au where theyre paired w eachother in a room (essentially vr au, and the students r dormed with people they didnt have much conflict / relationship depth with in game) and maki and miu are paired together and learn the other isnt as bad as they seem and theyre both cool people when you get to know them

UGHHHH i love them

[fleouriarts]

remade the height lineup for jamie and co! it's been almost exactly 6 months since i made the original one, and omar and andre didn't even exist when i made it, so i figured it needed an update. also the original was made in one night (vs this being made in a week) and you can TELL

under the cut are individual pics for each of them with some design notes and such. tumblr also likes to crunch big images like this, for full size click here and here

originally finished 9-28-2024

JAMIE: biggest change is that im actually drawing him with a long ass linsang neck. i wanted him to be small so bad before that i forgot the most important linsang trait... this is also why he has gained 2 inches of height LOL

SANTIAGO: santiago got like 25% wider and his horns are more visible. i considered making a second unclothed ref for his look during the summer (all wool shaved except for the head), but i don't draw him like that very much. maybe later

JOHNNY: no changes. johnny is a perfect animal. i just finally have a full ref of her spots (at least from the front)

NULL: i completely changed their head shape to look like an actual siamese cat, and gave them 6 nipples like an actual cat. their original shirt had just a blue scribble (my usual shorthand when i'm drawing from a ref and don't feel like drawing a shirt design) but i decided they deserve an actual shirt design now. i tried a cat skull at first and then i thought to do cartoon fish bones instead and fell in love with it

ARGYLE: argyle's face spots became more pronounced, his mane is bigger, his bigass robe has only yellow stripes now, and i changed the colors on his pants a bit. a character change that comes with this is that he is now a journalism student instead of fashion. he was originally a fashion student so him, jamie, and santiago would all have to interact (since they're all in the arts at their college). however developing argyle more made me think he would care way more about comfort than looking good when it comes to his clothes. also the son of a lawyer and a history professor going into journalism just makes sense to me

OMAR: omar wasn't on the original lineup, but when compared to my first drawing of her, i just made her fatter with a longer neck. and now i have a good ref of his spots! i've also decided they have hyperestrogenism, no clue if it's caused by an underlying syndrome like aexs or not. either way she has gynecomastia and hypogonadism because of it

ANDRE: andre straight up didn't have a color ref before now cus i mostly drew her in my sketchbook. i just forced myself to figure out his markings and give him a "default" outfit (i really liked the one i drew him in here so that's his default now). also i have decided she does not wear wigs anymore she's just a cool bald bitch

overall i think i just got better at drawing furries ^__^ a lot of it comes down to just thinking harder about their anatomy. you may notice that the new drawing has the carnivorans (jamie null argyle and andre) as plantigrade at rest now instead of digitigrade. part of this is because i went and looked at my zootopia artbook to study it and that's how they do it. another part of it is that when you look at plantigrade vs digitigrade legs (unguligrade is here too i guess):

the entirety of the paw on a digitrade animal is homologous to just the toes on a plantigrade one. do you want to stand on your toes all day? does that sound fun to you? HELL NO!!!!!! unguligrade animals stand on their toenails but they're weirdos we don't have to talk about them

anyway enough of my rambling cheers to you if you read this far. if you're an aspiring furry artist you might find it fun to learn some irl animal anatomy to help you w your drawings, like looking at skulls/full skeletons and stuff. or maybe it'll just frustrate you. i'm a biology student so this is enriching for me. have a nice day

[skynight110]

Where It All Began

A small 5 year old child sat on a couch in the lobby, happily drawing from a photo her father gave her. It was a giant monster, with wings and a bird like face. Her father called it "Rodan".

Currently, the child was waiting for both her parents to finish up "adult work", whatever that meant, so the three of then could go home. She hoped to be home in time to watch her favorite TV show. Faintly, she could hear her mother through the door where they were with their boss.

"How long do we have?" She heard. "A month or 2 at most. The activity of the cocoon is rapidly increasing once again. I fear the same events will occur if left unchecked." She heard a man speak. She knew who it was, Mr. Serizowa, or Doctor. She liked him, he was very nice to her and helped her understand all the secret stuff other people wouldn't know.

She remembered him telling her about a monster that he currently studied, one that towered over city buildings, and could be heard from miles away. It looked similar to a dinosaur, the way he described it, and could even pre-date them! It excited her. Dinosaurs were cool, and too still have something alive that big survive the asteroid? Even cooler! She had yet to receive a photo of it though, of Him, she corrected to herself remembering Mr. Serizowa referred to it as a boy. Hearing the door open she quickly grabbed all her things and stood, excitedly running up to her father who scooped her up as she giggled. "Ready to go home munchkin?" He asked, and she nodded enthusiastically. "Hurry up! I'm gonna miss my show!" He gasped dramatically. "Oh great heavens no! Hear that mommy? We better hurry!" Her mother laughed with a bright smile.

When the family got home, she quickly got changed into pajamas and sat on the couch, watching her show. She could hear her parents bickering in another room, but she didn't care much. Until at least she heard her name being mentioned. "What will we do with y/n? We could hire a babysitter but..I don't trust anyone taking care of her knowing our job positions. They could find documents they aren't supposed to. And not to mention we'll be gone for at least half a year." She heard her mother. That made a feeling of dread shoot through her. Her parents were leaving? For half a year? She wouldn't see them for that long? She silently got up and tiptoed to where they were. "I understand the concern, m/n. I just don't know what to think of at the moment..." she stood in the doorway of the room they were talking, and spoke with a hushed, sad voice, startling her parents. "You'll be leaving me for half a year?" She could already feel the spur of tears in her eyes. Quickly, her mother crouched down and hugged her. "No, sweetie, no. We will not." She saw her father crouch to, a look on his face she couldn't describe. "You'll be coming with us." He said. Two gasps were heard, one of excitement and the other of shock. "Really?! Where are we going?" The girl asked, quickly wiping whatever tears had formed. "Janjira." She thought for a moment. "Where is that?" Her father chuckled. "That's not important right now, now you need to be going to bed." The girl huffed, staring her father down before trudging away, albeit slowly. "F/n, w-we can't possibly bring her with us-"

"It'll be fine, m/n. We'll have a hotel room for her, and she'll be with us if it is safe otherwise. Didn't you just say you didn't trust babysitters." The father argued. The mother sighed, rubbing her head. "Your a stupid man...." he just chuckled, walking close and hugging her. "Fine," she gave in. "But if anything happens, I mean anything, it's your head f/n l/n, do you understand me?" He kissed her head. "Yes ma'am."

•••

A couple weeks later, the family made the flight to janjira through a private flight, her parents said it was, and landed. She excitedly hopped out of the helicopter, her mother calling her from behind to stay close. They had left most of their belongings in a hotel in some city she couldn't remember the name of. But she had brought a small bag full of art to do. As she looked around, she caught sight of a familiar figure approaching. Smiling, she ran towards them. "Mr. Serizowa!" The man smiled as she came barreling towards him. "Hello, Chīsame no yatsu. What are you doing here?" The girl excitedly pointed towards her parents who were approaching. "Mama and papa let me come! I didn't know you'd be here too!"  He kindly greeted her parents as they came within range. "Dr. Serizowa, pleasure to see you again." "Likewise."

The girl ignored all the adult talk, instead butting in the conversation once she heard Serizowa mention a 'specimen'. "What's so special about this place anyway?"

"Ah, sweetheart-" "Come," Dr. Serizowa said with a smile, a hand on the girl's back. "I will show you." She excitedly followed along. Whenever Mr. Serizowa didn't explain what something was it either meant he was going to show her or it was something she wouldn't understand. Her question was answered when she was guided into a observation room, and peered out of the window. Her eyes widened in fascination. "Woah..."

It was...a massive cocoon? It's shape was odd, she didn't think it was the pretty titan moth. "What is it?"

"We aren't sure," Mr. Serizowa answered truthfully. "That is why we are studying it. To learn it." She nodded. "Does it have a name?"

He nodded, and answered.

"M.U.T.O."

•••

The next two months passed by, and the girl had become adjusted to her current living situation. She noticed that they wouldn't return to the hotel often, in fact, she recalled they'd only gone back three times now. She'd been busy, switching between exploring the facility to doing school work on her laptop, and doing what she was doing now. Sitting on the ground with a blanket, humming away to the music playing from her show on her laptop as she colored. In front of her, dormant, was the cocoon. She noticed that from time to time, it's red color would flash and glow, and that amazed her. She would draw the cocoon during its different phases and give them to the nice scientists, who would hang them on the walls of their offices. The one she was working on right now was for Mr. Serizowa, however she was almost done and had nothing to do after. She'd already explored everywhere she was allowed to, she had no more work to do, and her parents were busy. As she finished, she paused and glanced up at the cocoon.

It really was big, she'd never gotten to see one of the titans before in person. She wondered what it would look like when it hatched. "Will you have wings? Are you a butterfly?" She often would talk to the cocoon when she was bored, asking questions that couldn't be answered at the moment, or recapping her day because her parents were busy and she couldn't talk to them about it. Of course, there was never a reply, but she didn't mind. She remembered how it was to attend school and recieve odd looks from other students when she spoke her mind about her parents jobs and what she'd learned. Everyone would always call her a show off, and the teachers didn't know what to do with her when she excelled it everything they gave her for work, or when she started explaining in depth details about the titans she'd so far learned about because the other students couldn't process the information. She remembered telling one of her classes about Tiamat, how she was territorial and one time attacked a submarine sent in to observe the environment. The teachers had to stop her when she went into detail about how Tiamat destroyed it. Only few found interest in what she had to say. So she'd rather talk to something that wouldn't give her a response.

Huffing, she glanced down at her laptop that had turned its screen off. Tapping a few keys, she gasped when she saw the time. Her bedtime was ages ago! Now that she looked around it was dark out. Standing, she paused when she felt something was...off. It was like a huge amount of energy was being emitted, and like time was pausing. Feeling dread pool in her gut, the girl quickly walked away from the cocoon to go find her parents when something caught her eyes, or rather, someone. A man was inside a truck, seemingly locked up. He didn't look like he worked there, and that made her curious. What was he doing there? She couldn't think long on it, because suddenly a loud crunch behind her followed by a loud intense sound made her scream and looked back. She watched as the cocoon broke and fell to the ground, revealing...not what she expected.

From what she could see, it definitely was not a butterfly like she hoped. It's skin was grey, and it had piercing red eyes that seemed to have no pupil, just a red streak down the side of its head. She fell with a yelp as one of its odd shaped legs protruded out and smashed to the ground, causing a wave to flow over the entire facility. She whimpered in fear when everything was plunged into darkness. She could hear people all around her panicking. Quickly getting up, she decided to ditch her laptop and blanket and hope her parents wouldn't be upset about it. Running to the truck she saw the man in, she noticed he seemed disturbed by everything going on. Until he saw her. His fave filled with shock when he saw a little girl who seemed so out of place run up to the truck. He quickly got closer. "What are you doing here?" He yelled through the glass so she could hear. "I-im here with my parents, but I don't know where they-"

She couldn't finish as she had hoped to so the man could help her find them, as the lights turned back on and a loud roar filled her ears, making her cover them in an effort to make it feel like they weren't exploding. Everyone who had been outside with her panicked and ran, completely forgetting both her and the man. She tried to yank the door open as he pushed on it, but it didn't work. She dared a glance back. It was chaos, and she whimpered again when she caught sight of the large figure moving around just beyond the wires.

"MOVE!"

She glanced at the man, before looking up and seeing an object rapidly falling from above. She jumped back and crawled away, screaming as glass and shards landed around and on her. She quickly fixed herself when it was over to look back at the truck the man was in, now a few feet away and tipped over. The whole end was missing too. When she saw him emerge from it though she quickly ran to him and grasped his arm. "We have to go!" She urged and headed towards the exit. "My dad..." she heard him mutter as she walked as fast as she could. Before she could question him, they both paused as they saw a man standing on a catwalk when more metal crashed into it. It seemed the two men knew each other as they shared looks, before she watched in horror as it fell. "DAD!"

She couldn't help the scream that left her when she fully realized she just watched someone die, not in a show, not pretend. It just happened in front of her eyes.

Her scream was cut off by a loud warble behind her.

She and the man slowly turned to see the creatures appendages extend to reach the concrete, and pull itself up. She felt warm tears fall down her cheeks as a wave of emotions hit her, especially when her eyes stared into the blood red ones that seemed to peer right at her. It was big, real big. She thought back to what Mr. Serizowa said to her, that there was a titan that towered over city buildings. Was it bigger than this?

She would definitely blame this on her emotions later, but she could have sworn that the creature peered at her longer before a chirr like purr left it. She barely registered the man pulling her into the damaged truck and placing a breathing mask on her as she watched it extend wings and fly off, leaving death, destruction and horror behind.

She passed out not long after.

••

He knew from the moment he hatched that it's presence was nearby. While in his cocoon state, he wasn't entirely unaware. He could hear the weird roars and echos around him, the many chitters of smaller beings. There was one that stood out however.

A younger one, one that would stay close and chitter and sing to him.

When he finally hatched, he could hear the familiar sound of the hatchlings roar close. His hatchling must have been calling to him. It may have been an odd notion at first, but what other reason would a hatchling stay close to sing and wait for him if it weren't his own? Finally finishing his cocooned stage he wished to see his hatchling for the first time.

And there it was, as it let out another small roar. Yes, it was small, smaller than the other pesky beings all around, smaller than he was when he was a hatchling, but that didn't matter. If it was his then he'd love it no less. He wished he could take his hatchling with him, but it wasn't safe. Not yet. He wished he'd known he had a hatchling before cocooning to make a makeshift nest to keep them safe while they waited. But now he could go find his mate, and help her create a safe nest for both this hatchling and the others that would soon come. So, with every intention to come back and retrieve them, he crooned down to his hatchling before taking to the skies.

•••

Hello! Just wanted to add here that I went back and watched the movie, but for the life of me I couldn't find an exact date on when the m.u.t.o hatched so I just didn't mention one. Also, the understanding of how humans work and are vary depending on the titan. Here as you can see, the m.u.t.o has no idea that his "hatchling" isn't even really his species. He doesn't know that she is speaking a language, rather just chirring nonsense that any hatchling would do. Other titans, more so the ones exposed to humans more, will understand certain languages, and do understand that humans are their own species. For examples, Rodan can understand some English, but mostly Spanish. Mothra can understand mostly anyone due to her telepathy, but language wise she knows English, Japanese, Chinese, sign language, and a few others because of her exposure to the other titans. Godzilla understands English and Japanese.

And like I mentioned last chapter, that actual appearance of any titan in the current time part of the story won't be for a little longer, but I do believe with the way I have everything planned they will be mentioned more.

[captain-aralias]

someone commented yesterday on my 8th year mpreg that i didn't finish because i had a baby 2 weeks early (a year and a half ago!) (he's still alive - all is well).

and i thought, after reading this comment:

OK, it's time to put the bits that i didn't finish on the internet!!

because i will PROBABLY never finish this fic at this point. but who knows? but also probably not. if you are reading this fic and you would like to finish it, crack on. get in touch. i will help you!

here's the stuff i didn't finish. it's about a thousand words, some cut scenes from chapter 1 and a rough plan for the rest. 👇👇

Chapter 2: Second Trimester

SIMON

Surprisingly, Penelope agrees with Baz about the wedding.

“Magicians are always claimed by their families,” she told me after I’d explained what had happened with Baz. And his mum. And after she’d asked a lot of questions. (Fortunately, I’d already told her about the Humdrum, and that Baz and I had slept together, but it was still a lot to take in.) “There are loads of spells that only work for people with the same name,” she explained. “Magickal objects that only work if they’re passed down through the family. And of course, the Pitches would want to keep an eye on someone with their blood. A lot of magicians have historically been killed by their own relatives.”

“You mean, for power?” I suggested.

“Often,” Penny agreed. “But also, because no one can hurt you like your own family.”

She’s been looking into wedding magic ever since. Baz has been helping her. And then, once she’s finally gone back to her own room, he helps me with the investigation into his mum’s death. 

I thought that would be terrible, but it’s all right working with Baz. Good, even. He’s got an organised mind. And he knows I’m always hungry – especially now – so he brings food up from the kitchen before we start. Unfortunately, we haven’t got much further. We still don’t know who Nicodemus is or why anyone would want to hurt Headmistress Pitch, besides the obvious. But Penny’s made good progress. Last week, she qualified as a magickal officiant. This week, they chose the binding spells. 

She and Baz also decided where the wedding would take place. It has to be somewhere significant to both of us – and our relationship. I suggested our room. 

Baz disagreed. “You’re not even trying,” he told me, like he thought I should put more effort into our marriage of convenience. 

Neither of us wanted to go back to Lancashire, for obvious reasons. And Baz already rejected the Catacombs. So, I said it was fine when he suggested the Wavering Wood. At least, it’s close. 

I’m regretting it now. Now I’m standing outside in the middle of a forest at midnight – because, of course, it has to be midnight – freezing my bollocks off while Penny conjures an altar out of a rock. 

Baz is at my side, looking cool and unruffled. He’s dressed for the weather: in a long dark coat and leather gloves. It’s all very Sexy Vampire. I keep catching dryads sneaking looks at him, then ducking away when I scowl at them. 

“Will you stop fidgeting?” he hisses as I try wrapping my arms over my chest and shift my weight again. “You don’t want to be here. Message received.”

I sigh and drop my arms. “It’s not that.” 

Baz looks surprised. “It’s not?”

I shake my head, although admittedly I don’t want to be here. Now. In the Wood – I’d prefer to be in our room – but I don’t want him to think I’m upset about marrying him when I’m actually OK with it. It’s only a ceremony, isn’t it? We’ve already had sex. We’re already having a baby. 

When you think about it, this is basically a repeat of the time we became roommates. Well, except that this time, there’s a bit at the end where we’re supposed to kiss. I don’t mind that, though. I think I might even be looking forward to it. I think I’d have kissed Baz again before this if I thought he wanted me to. If he ever looked at me the way he did back in Lancashire, instead of sneering in a way that makes it clear that he has no idea how we ended up in this situation. 

He's not sneering now, though. He’s just confused. 

“I’m cold,” I tell him. 

Baz frowns. I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “You don’t get cold.”

He’s right. Or at least, he should be. I can’t really control my body temperature anymore. I keep forgetting. I borrowed a suit from Gareth earlier (I told him I had a funeral to go to) and I’m not wearing a coat. Now parts of me I doubt Baz wants to hear about are aching. 

“I think it’s a pregnancy thing,” I say, sort of grimacing because saying things like that makes me feel like an arse. I’m not even sure I’m right. I haven’t read any pregnancy books, I haven’t had time – I just wish my nipples didn’t hurt. 

Baz grimaces too, though kind of … sympathetically, I think. 

“I see.” 

He looks down at his hands and pulls of his gloves. At first, I think he’s going to give them to me – which wouldn’t help, even if they actually fit – but instead he tucks them under his elbow and brings his palms together.

“Here.” 

There’s an outraged huff from the trees as a small, hot flame appears between his hands. Dryads hate fire – this one will’ve gone right off Baz. (Good, I think. He’s about to be off the market, anyway.)

He holds the fire out to me. “Take it.” 

I stare at him. “Huh?”

Baz scowls. “It won’t hurt you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

It wasn’t. I just don’t know how to keep fire going the way Baz can. It either goes out or… it doesn’t. I might not be a fan of the Wavering Wood anymore, but I don’t want to burn it down either. Especially not while I’m in it. And Penny. And Baz is a vampire, he’s flammable. (Can Baz be burnt by a flame he started? I don’t want to find out. This baby needs two parents.) 

Before I can explain myself – Baz never lets me explain myself – he’s taking my hand in one of his, holding the fire in the other. I almost pull back. But … I don’t. I have to trust him. 

I let him drop the little flame onto my palm and it burns 

NOTES (what do they mean? in some cases, even i don't know, but i thought 'oliver' was a fun name for baby as it's simon's original middle name from fangirl without being an obvious reference like - 'davy' or 'jamie' or some ridiculous pitch bullshit)

Backstory – magic is too precious

telling Penny, she thinks its sensible. But weird. 

Baz spells it warmer. No actual ceremony. 

BAZ

Comes back from hunting. 

Sex

SIMON

Napping – Baz and Penny solving the mysteries 

BAZ

They work out the Humdrum hasn’t attacked. 

Carrying to bed

Actual husband / Simon, I am your actual husband.

Summon – backstory from Humdrum, your dad, Simon’s pumping magic into the baby 

SIMON

Confronting the Mage?

He’s like – Simon, this is weird, Malcolm Grimm just wrote to me about taxes, wants to help fight the Humdrum. Simon shouting at him. 

BAZ

“I’m going to be a terrible father.”

Baz tells him he was the Chosen One – wished for a way to end this.

Maybe more sex?

SIMON

Oliver.

cut scenes/different variations - usually i offer some editorial on what this is and why i cut it, but we're so far in the future now folks. again, who knows? i think i cut most of these because they were boring and facewithoutheart's eight months is all about being zippy

“You know when we––”

I nod. I don’t need him to say it, I was there. (We had sex. It was good, until it wasn’t. Until Snow realised who he’d slept with and what that meant for the relationship he actually cares about.)

“Well.” Snow’s looking at his feet now. At the ceiling. Anywhere but at me. “Something … happened after that.”

I imagine quite a few things did. I was kidnapped by numpties, for a start. And kept in a coffin for six weeks. (I doubt that’s what Snow’s referring to.) 

“I mean, because of that,” he says. “Also, the Veil lifted––”

“What?” This isn’t what I expected.

“While you were gone,” Snow says. “Your mum–– I wrote it down. But I left my bag in the hall, fuck. Anyway, she––”

He’s still not looking at me, so it takes him by surprise when I grab him and shove him back against the stone wall of the corridor. 

That gets his attention. His eyes flare with anger. “Baz.”

“What about my mother?”

“Let me go first,” Snow growls. 

I don’t have to do it. I’m much stronger than him and he would talk, eventually. I’ve riled him up enough that he 

//

I’m not going to do that.

Snow’s offering me everything I’ve ever wanted – or close enough. What’s there to think about? What am I doing here? 

I need to tell him I agree with him before he changes his mind. 

//

SIMON

Baz isn’t in Greek. 

That bothers me – although at least I know where he is this time. (Screaming into a pillow probably. Or throwing himself into the moat.) Obviously, I knew he’d be upset – why wouldn’t he be? But I didn’t think he’d be so upset he’d miss more school. He only just got back. 

I’m not expecting to see him in Magic Words, which is our next period, and I don’t. But he’s waiting for me outside the classroom door once the bell goes for morning break. 

“Finished processing?” I ask him. 

“Have you?” Baz retorts, but he doesn’t wait for an answer. (It would’ve been no. I haven’t finished. I’ve barely even started.) 

//

Miss Possibelf says it’s good to have him back.

“It’s good to be back,” Baz says. 

“What does that mean?” I say, even though I’m not in the conversation. 

Baz sighs. “What do you think it means, Snow?” 

But that’s just it – I don’t know. Is he just happy 

//

“Simon,” Penny hisses next to me. “Your magic.”

Now she’s said something I can smell it. Thick smoke. Suffocating. I can see other kids looking at me. Baz turns in his seat to look at me, too. For once he isn’t sneering. (He looks nicer when he’s not sneering. He looks nice. Too thin, but nice. We’ll have a really good-looking baby if it takes after him.)

Miss Possibelf asks me if I need to step outside. 

“No,” I say. “I’m good.” 

I can’t risk being thrown out right now. What if Baz gives me the slip after class?