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therepudiatedimmortals · 5 months ago

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Ok I wasn't gonna but the novel did get to me and if I keep it just in DMs I might just lose it

Cw for incest and abuse discussions, spoilers for malcatras' maiden and its ending

I don't know how to format these properly, but I think I'm gonna do the simple thing and begin with the important question:

Are the puppy girl ears diegetic?

Malcatras' maiden has a very heartfelt and powerful depiction of an abuse victim who justifies their own abuse. To this end, the vn employs plenty of tricks to show the mental disorientation that comes with making such leaps in logic to do so, not just on Lilliana and the narrative she presents, but rather in how it's presented at all.

The game starts in a punishment for Lilliana, a young adult maid, for messing up in a simple task. This comes in the form of a spanking, from a motherly figure, who reassures her it's for her own good, and comforts her afterwards, praising her dedication even if she did mess up. This set up is very important at establishing the tone for the rest of the game, not just at cementing Lilliana's position in the house, but also at the sort of expectations the audience is gonna have when entering these scenes. The selling point is eroticism, the fantasy of abuse after all, right?

The question of what is and isn't diegetic comes to mind many times through our reading of the story. The distinction between Francesca and Lilliana's dynamic as a submission fantasy in a novel and what that would entail in real life is brought to the spotlight time and time again.

Cracks constantly show up in Lilliana's perspective, not just in the form of her own anxieties obscuring the very simple fact that the maids around her think the world of her, or at the very least enjoy her presence, but also in the basic facts of world building she establishes.

An early scene with Shana, another maid, is the very key to beginning to unravel fantasy from reality, and I like how well positioned it is in the story. Very basic aspects of Lilliana's fantastical narrative, not just of her being a good for nothing maid who deserves to be punished at the slightest of failures, but of her being impossible to be around or interacted with, only allowed to exist for the purpose of serving to the best of her abilities, are called into question as Shana not only invites her to do a task together she could've easily accomplished by herself, but also when she breaks something and Shana simply tells her to replace it before the meeting without berating her for it.

As we keep going, Lilliana shows more and more cracks in her narrative, showing how difficult her day to day life is, in a constant state of alert not just as a bodyguard, but as someone whose purpose and humanity can be questioned at any given time. The promised land that is the malcatras state is making her miserable, and no matter how much she tries to justify how good she has it, how she's been fed and clothed, how she's been given everything and she should be satisfied, she knows there's something wrong with this life, but then again, she can only see the wrong in her and not the wrong around her. This safe haven from the outside world must be protected at any cost, by any means.

Even so, the mask of kindness and compassion in Francesca seems to slip, and just as Lilliana seems to win her favor more and more, earning privileges thanks to her self sacrificial acts and loyalty to the cause, we, the audience, begin to puzzle out a clearer image of who she really is, what this all really is, even if Lilliana is blinded by this sudden burst of attention and a self worth so fragile she can only justify her existence through servitude.

The truth reveals itself as a car crash, a sudden intervention on Lilliana and the viewer. None of this is right. There is no grand narrative that justifies this submission, Francesca isn't some grandiose Madonna of yore, beyond reproach. It's all just wrong. She's been using you, both literally and figuratively, for the sake of her own ego, her own existence.

In this moment, the nature of what exists in the story as an erotic fantasy and what exists in its reality are called into question. What is really the truth? In this story with highly fantastical elements, very abstracted from mundane reality, there seems to be a constant clash with our grounded day to day life, and as they come to a head, we are made to question if all these aspects, such as a girl with dog wars, were simply put there to distract us from a very simple reality.

And so it does.

In the end, in this fantasy world with abilities beyond our mundane reality, it's not some supernatural power that keeps Lilliana trapped, it's the very foundation of the family that enables her own abuse. Even if the fact it's family betraying the family, and not some ethereal stranger invading the sanctity of it, it remains that the family must be protected at all costs.

What starts off as something that fetishizes the idea of the family and the abuse within it turns itself around into not just a heavy condemnation, but a deep dive into the sort of life the person that justifies this abuse to themselves has.

In the end, shame, anxiety and guilt are such strong motivators in this person that they will do whatever is in their power to justify her own existence, even at the cost of a very real possibility of getting what they really want. No one else can do the job of unpacking all of this for them.

Malcatras' maiden carries us through a painful path and conclusion, one where if you don't stand up for yourself, where you accept your place beneath others, and simply let them continue to control you out of fear of what lies outside this cage, you will lose everything and it won't even be your choice.

Overall I really enjoyed how much the expectations were played with, not necessarily being a "twist" the place it was heading, but playing with what type of game it's supposed to be definitely messes up how easily you can figure out what's happening and where it's going.

Also I enjoyed the art a lot, both for conveying pretty quickly what type of character they are from designs alone as well as the general aesthetic to it.

I will admit I'm not well versed in vns a lot so I can't say how much of it was the fact I'm enjoying a new medium or it's something that's kinda basic to the medium that I'm finding special due to my lack of exposure, but I liked the transitions between backgrounds and scenes and in general the art design for the whole novel. Even the stock backgrounds for the hotel visit give it a good contrast with the backgrounds of the mansion.

Overall I can't complete this yet because we still haven't gotten around the epilogue, but I am very pleasantly surprised that this story we picked up as a fun thing to spend the time with turned into a very rough but heartfelt story.

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l-1-z-a · 2 years ago

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Emergent narrative in The Sims 2

Matt Brown at AIIDE 2006

Notes from Matt Brown's (EA/Maxis) invited talk at AIIDE 2006, entitled "The Power of Projection and Mass Hallucination (Practical AI in The Sims 2 and Beyond)".

The general gist of it is that The Sims 2 is a sandbox world that provides some small bits of narrative-promotion to try to encourage emergent narrative sequences to actually emerge, by matching them against pre-authored snippets that seem desirable. In general, Matt Brown has a very AI-minimalist style of AI design.

Some points and claims:

Perception is key: how to seem intelligent, not how to be intelligent ("Big A, little i")

Complicated behind-the-scenes computation is usually interpreted as random behavior by the player, so don't bother

Players have short memories and quickly move on, so your AI should too

Correlary to the above: Local intelligence is good enough, at least for something like The Sims. Just focus on making sure everything makes sense in relation to what comes immediately before and immediately after, and players will fill in appropriate long-term stories themselves.

Consistency leads to player storytelling and ascription of personality

Some randomness helps avoid brittleness; keeps you from getting stuck in repeated or easily exploitable weird behaviors

The Sims/NPCs react to player-driven momentum, rather than initiating much of anything

Much of the local behavior is organized around story trees

Story trees are explicitly authored bits of story, very short

In their experience, the important thing here was the authoring tools, not the AI: given good tools, a few human authors can quickly create and maintain lots and lots of story trees. Important features were sorting of story trees by roles, easy searching/comparison/etc., batch creation/edits, and variable bindings.

He was pretty adamant that it's much easier to write authoring tools to make writing extensional definitions of "good story" feasible than it is to build a generative system with an internal notion of good story, since you'd have to do a lot of manual fiddling on the latter anyway.

Events are matched against all tree prefixes simultaneously, and of high-matching trees, the events that that tree says would come next in its story snipped is scored against a model of player interest ("player likes [x] events") and personality of the NPC, etc.

Players find it easier to give specific outcomes rather than traits — answering "likes hiking (y/n)?" is easy, while "x/10 for extrovert?" isn't.

Focus the player on the details you will actually use; in character design and personalities, don't try to faithfully model things that don't matter very much to your game

Anecdote: They had a complicated model for which urinals Sims would use: if there's 3, and someone's at the leftmost one, the Sim is supposed to use the rightmost one, not the middle one, unless they have some sort of weird personality. It wasn't reliably getting the responses they wanted, so they ripped it out and replaced it with a random-number generator, which people were just as happy to make up stories about and ascribe personality to.

A bit of an admission in the conclusion: As a sort of aimless "sandbox game", The Sims only really needs to make sure something interesting happens, but it hardly matters what. The player is responsible for making up stories (this is their sandbox after all), so the story-AI part of The Sims is only intended to provide some prompts and play off what the player does. That might not be the case in other types of games.

Follow-up: Maxis ended up deviating significantly from this view of Sims narrative with The Sims 3, bringing in Richard Evans to do a less AI-lite version of the AI, which included longer-term planning rather than purely emergent narrative. Evans has given a number of talks on that, which I unfortunately don't have good notes on, but here (archived) is a brief writeup someone else did of his AIIDE 2007 talk.

Mark J. Nelson, 2006-06-21.

Comments welcome: [email protected]

Many thanks to @andrevasims for searching in this post:

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ambriel-angstwitch · 1 year ago

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From Eden through the Lens of Merthur

Babe There's something tragic about you

Merlin is ultimately a tragic character, he constantly tries to stop things and in all his efforts he just makes it worse.

Something so magic about you Don't you agree?

But there’s also magic to Merlin. And not just in the clear obvious way but he naturally draws people in. He gains adoration and interest so easily. (Also these two first parts juxtapose something typically bad with something good)

Babe There's something lonesome about you Something so wholesome about you Get closer to me

Once again there’s that juxtaposition. Now this line comes off as more about Arthur but it can be either way.

Arthur was a very lonesome character before Merlin. He never had deep connections with anyone because people were always to scared and respectful towards him since he was the Prince. But then also Arthur is so loyal, kind and honorable, he wants to help people and would die for those he loves

Then there’s Merlin who told Arthur “I just didn’t fit in anymore. I wanted to find somewhere that I did.”. Merlin who’s the last of his kind (dragon lord). Merlin who’s magical but not part of the community. Merlin who’s immortal. But Merlin also came to Camelot with bright eyes and quick wit. Merlin also didn’t like the idea of killing animals. (So this line also can apply to Merlin)

No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me

This line is the realization in the last season that they’re missing the key prices of their relationship the witty banter, the feigned annoyance. Instead it is replaced by the feeling that they both seem to be putting other things first (though Merlin is actually just trying to save Arthur’s life)

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago

There’s something familiar about eachother after all they’re eachothers’ other half. They just fit so well together and mirror eachother (born magically but powerless vs born naturally but full of magic I could go on). But there’s also a sense of nostalgia to their relationship especially later on as they are the only constants in eachothers lives.

Idealism sits in prison

Not really Merthur related but Lance is who picture as idealism (in this song at least). He believed in Merlin, he believed in Arthur, he believed in the ideals of the knights and what they were supposed to be. That landed him in prison for impersonating a noble, that killed him, and he was brought back only to land in prison again (then he died again).

chivalry fell on its sword

Chivalry is Arthur and well I think you guys know what this means. Arthur was always ready to die for Camelot and in the end he did by a sword fashioned in the same way as his own,

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know

This is the Merlin line. He was innocent when he came to Camelot, he had yet to witness an execution, he didn’t know what destiny had in store for him, and he had yet to kill anyone and maybe not even anything since he seems to dislike hunting. But that all ended he was forced to take up a mantle, he had to kill, he was tortured, he could have been killed and in the end it all came to naught.

I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

What is really interesting is the wording of slithered because that is the snake the inciter of evil. Merlin is something seen as inherently evil by the kingdom he came to. He risked his safety (Eden) to stay in a kingdom which would have him killed just to be a foot note in Arthur’s story. We know Merlin’s importance but Merlin didn’t expect recognition he stayed in the shadow saving Arthur’s life and dealing with his clothes.

Babe There's something wretched about this Something so precious about this Where to begin?

They’re relationship would have been seen as wrong for many reasons, but they held it preciously, it was the best things in their lives. They are eachothers’ everything so they wouldn’t even begin to be able to express what they feel and would do for eachother.

Babe There's something broken about this but I might be hoping about this Oh, what a sin

Once again touching on how their relationship would have been interpreted as wrong. In the later seasons their relationship is falling apart they’ll argue and not in the joking way they would before but they wanted things to get better. They were doomed but Merlin was always trying to change that.

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

So picnics were a romantic date the Arthur and Gwen had on multiple occasions. So I imagine while Merlin is happy for them he also is sitting on the sidelines wishing it was him. But Merlin also knows that he’s the other man destiny says Arthur and Gwen are meant to be married. He knows that should Arthur find his magic he might just end up hanging.

#Spotify #merthur #hozier analysis #hozier #merthur analysis #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #king arthur #bbc merthur #song analysis #song interpretation

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regalokitchens18 · 2 months ago

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Modular Kitchen Design Essentials For A Modern Lifestyle

Source of info : https://www.regalokitchens.com/modular-kitchen-design-essentials-for-a-modern-lifestyle.php

Introduction

A modular kitchen design is an important part of a modern lifestyle because it is a perfect combination of style and functionality. This creative method of designing a kitchen plan makes it possible to customize it and provides that every square inch is used properly. Your cooking space becomes a stylish and useful room with a customizable kitchen's stylish cabinets, smart storage options, and modern aesthetics. As the best kitchen brand in India, Regalo Kitchens provides a large selection of customizable kitchen designs that fit a variety of demands and tastes. With a modular kitchen that fits your modern lifestyle, you can improve your house.

What is a Modular Kitchen?

It's important to understand what a modular kitchen design is before getting into the specifics. Already assembled components or modules that can be used to create an entire kitchen make up a modular kitchen. Cabinets, shelves, drawers, and other storage options are included in these units. A customizable kitchen's adaptability and customizability are what make it so beautiful. The kitchen can be designed to fit your demands in terms of functionality, size, and style.

Why Choose Modular Kitchen Design?

1. Customization

The degree of customization available with modular kitchen design is one of its main benefits. A range of materials, finishes, and layouts are available for you to select from to fit both your own style and the overall design of your house. The kitchen modules can be customized to fit your needs, whether you want a more traditional look or something modern and simple.

2. Effective Use of Space

The design of kitchen modules prioritizes efficiency. Even little kitchens are practical and well-organized as every available inch is used. You can maintain a clutter-free kitchen by using clever storage solutions to make sure that everything has a home.

3. Ease of Maintenance

A modern kitchen is very simple to maintain. Stainless steel, laminate, and acrylic are among the materials utilized in modular kitchen design that are not only enduring but also simple to maintain. This helps ensure that your kitchen looks brand new for many years to come.

4. Fast Installation

Kitchen modules install more quickly than traditional kitchens, which can take weeks or even months to finish. The already assembled nature of the modules allows for on-site assembly in a few days, causing the least amount of interruption to your daily schedule.

5. Cost-Effective

Modern homes can save money by installing modular kitchens. The cost is frequently less than that of a custom-built kitchen since the design is common and the units are produced in large quantities. Furthermore, you don't have to completely remodel the kitchen to update or replace particular modules.

Key Elements of a Modern Modular Kitchen Design

A modular kitchen must have a few important elements in order to fit into a modern lifestyle. Let's examine these crucial elements:

1. An comfortable layout

A modern layout is important for a kitchen that works. The L-shaped, U-shaped, and island kitchen designs are the most popular modular kitchen layouts. Cooking is made easier with these arrangements that make sure the work triangle—the space between the refrigerator, sink, and stove—is functional.

2. Effective Storage Options

Any kitchen needs storage, and kitchen modules are excellent in this regard. Everything from groceries to kitchenware can be easily stored with the help of pull-out drawers, corner units, and tall cabinets. To optimize storage, think of including room-saving features like pull-out pantries, concealed shelves, and drawer planners.

3. Modern Appliances

Appliances from today are required in a modern kitchen. Dishwashers, induction cooktops, and built-in ovens improve the look and feel of your kitchen in addition to increasing its convenience. Make sure these appliances have enough room in your modular kitchen design , along with the right plumbing and electrical wiring.

4. Strong Materials

Making the right material selections can help your kitchen last a long time. Not only are materials like quartz countertops, stainless steel, and marine plywood strong, but they also withstand heat, water, and stains. These materials are perfect for kitchen modules since they are long-lasting and functional.

5. Lighting

Your kitchen can get a completely new appearance and feel with the right lighting. It is advised to use natural, task, and accent lighting in a modular kitchen. Functional and aesthetically pleasing kitchen lighting options include recessed ceiling lights, light bulbs over the island, and under-cabinet lighting.

6. Ventilation

Although it's sometimes disregarded, adequate ventilation in a kitchen is crucial. In order to keep your kitchen fresh and clean, a decent chimney or exhaust fan may assist remove smoke, aromas, and grease.

7. Color Palettes

Your functional kitchen's overall ambiance can be strongly affected by the color scheme chosen. Modern kitchens are often decorated with neutral colors like white, grey, and beige because they provide a polished and uncluttered appearance.

8. Eco-Friendly Options

You can include current concerns about sustainability into the design of your kitchen. If you want to lessen your carbon impact, go for energy-efficient appliances and cabinetry made of hardwood or salvaged wood. It is possible to create customized kitchens that are both environmentally friendly and fashionable.

Why Regalo Kitchens is the Top Choice for Modular Kitchen Design in India

Regalo Kitchens is undoubtedly the top brand in India when it comes to modular kitchen design. Regalo Kitchens has years of experience and is dedicated to providing high-quality kitchen designs that meet the expectations of modern homeowners.

1. Superior Quality

Regalo Kitchens ensures that your kitchen is not only fashionable but also long-lasting by using only the best materials. Every component of a Regalo Kitchen, from premium finishes to plywood of the highest quality, is expertly constructed.

2. Extensive Selection of Designs

Regalo Kitchens offers multiple kinds of choices to suit any style preference, from stylish modern to more classic. Together, you and their talented designers will build a kitchen that fulfills your practical requirements and captures your sense of style.

3. Customization

Personalization is essential at Regalo Kitchens. Because every property is unique, we offer customized options to make sure your kitchen is perfect for your available space. You can design a kitchen that is exclusively yours with Regalo Kitchens, from picking the perfect color plan to choosing the perfect finishes.

4. Superb Customer Support

Regalo Kitchens is famous for providing outstanding client service. Our staff is committed to ensuring a seamless procedure from the first consultation to the last installation. We communicate closely with you to make sure your concept is realized.

Conclusion

Modern living requires a modular kitchen design. that provides a perfect combination of functionality, simplicity, and use. You can design a kitchen that is functional and stylish by paying attention to important details like layout, storage, and materials.Regalo Kitchens is the leading brand to take advantage of when it comes to customizable kitchen design in India. We makes sure that the perfect kitchen will come to pass with their dedication to quality, personalization, and client happiness.

#regalokitchens #modularkitchen #kitchendesign

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saritha-sri-2012 · 3 months ago

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Master the Art of Baking

Baking is a journey to perfect pastries and comforting breads. Baking is a magical process. From the rich aromas wafting through the kitchen to the satisfying first bite of a warm, flaky pastry, there’s something inherently comforting. Whether you’re an experienced baker or an amateur, here are the best baking hacks that make your experience in the kitchen as enjoyable as possible.

Foundation of Baking

Quality Ingredients and reliable tools make the basic foundation of any baking process. Finest-quality baking ingredients are important for baking, as they can greatly impact the taste, flavor, and overall quality of the final output. Whether you are making simple bread or a complicated cake, the ingredients you use will play a key role in determining the desirable. Tools and equipment are very important in baking. They contribute to the efficiency of the baking process. It makes it more enjoyable. Tools like mixing bowls, measuring cups, whisks, spatulas, rolling pins, pastry mats, blenders, and baking pans make the baking experience cherishable.

Science behind Baking

Understanding the science of baking is also equally important. Baking is a perfect combination of chemistry, biology, and physics. Chemistry, as you mix different edible ingredients to create dough or batter with small air bubbles trapped inside. Biology, as the culture of yeast releases carbon dioxide to make your bread rise. And physics, as the trapped gases expand and give rise to the bakes. Perfect baking temperature, precise quantity of leavening agents like baking soda and baking powder, and gluten development in flour help you get the best bake every time.

Baking skills

The five important skills of baking are

Organization

Attention to detail

Coordination between eye and hand

Patience

Creativity

Baking Tips

A simple baking tip that most people tend to forget. Room-temperature ingredients blend more easily and evenly, resulting in a smoother batter or dough texture. For recipes that call for ingredients like butter, eggs, and dairy to be at room temperature, plan and allow these ingredients to sit out on the counter for about 30-60 minutes before baking. Room temperature buttercreams more easily with sugar, while room temperature eggs incorporate better into batters, yielding lighter and fluffier results. Using cold ingredients can lead to uneven mixing and dense baked goods, so be patient and let your ingredients come to room temperature before baking.

Measure ingredients accurately, preheat the oven, follow recipe instructions carefully, use the right baking pan, rest the dough thoroughly, and last but not least, allow proper cooling before the final touch.

Secret of Baking

The only secret to perfect baking is using fresh ingredients.

It's tempting to use up old ingredients like spices, chocolate, and flour, but the result will be lackluster or off-flavor. Using expired leaveners like baking powder, baking soda, and yeast will also hurt the rise and texture of breads and cakes. Throw them and replace them with something fresh.

Conclusion

A symphony of flavors, crafted with love and precision. Baking is therapy, and the result is pure happiness.

#baking #cooking

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itnseo101 · 3 months ago

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Modular Kitchen Design Essentials for a Modern Lifestyle

Source of Info: https://www.regalokitchens.com/modular-kitchen-design-essentials-for-a-modern-lifestyle.php

Introduction

What is a Modular Kitchen?

Why Choose Modular Kitchen Design?

1. Customization

2. Effective Use of Space

3. Ease of Maintenance

4. Fast Installation

5. Cost-Effective

Key Elements of a Modern Modular Kitchen Design

A modular kitchen must have a few important elements in order to fit into a modern lifestyle. Let's examine these crucial elements:

1. An comfortable layout

2. Effective Storage Options

3. Modern Appliances

4. Strong Materials

5. Lighting

6. Ventilation

7. Color Palettes

8. Eco-Friendly Options

Why Regalo Kitchens is the Top Choice for Modular Kitchen Design in India

1. Superior Quality

2. Extensive Selection of Designs

3. Customization

4. Superb Customer Support

Conclusion

#regalokitchens #kitchendesign #modularkitchen

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bilalraees354 · 3 months ago

Text

Modular Kitchen Design Essentials for a Modern Lifestyle

Source of Info : https://www.regalokitchens.com/modular-kitchen-design-essentials-for-a-modern-lifestyle.php

What is a Modular Kitchen?

Why Choose Modular Kitchen Design?

1. Customization

2. Effective Use of Space

3. Ease of Maintenance

4. Fast Installation

5. Cost-Effective

Key Elements of a Modern Modular Kitchen Design

A modular kitchen must have a few important elements in order to fit into a modern lifestyle. Let's examine these crucial elements:

1. An comfortable layout

2. Effective Storage Options

3. Modern Appliances

4. Strong Materials

5. Lighting

6. Ventilation

7. Color Palettes

8. Eco-Friendly Options

Why Regalo Kitchens is the Top Choice for Modular Kitchen Design in India

1. Superior Quality

2. Extensive Selection of Designs

3. Customization

4. Superb Customer Support

Conclusion

#kitchendesign #modularkitchen #regalokitchens

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itnseo87 · 3 months ago

Text

Modular Kitchen Design Essentials for a Modern Lifestyle

Source of info:https://www.regalokitchens.com/modular-kitchen-design-essentials-for-a-modern-lifestyle.php

Introduction

What is a Modular Kitchen?

Why Choose Modular Kitchen Design?

1. Customization

2. Effective Use of Space

3. Ease of Maintenance

4. Fast Installation

5. Cost-Effective

Key Elements of a Modern Modular Kitchen Design

A modular kitchen must have a few important elements in order to fit into a modern lifestyle. Let's examine these crucial elements:

1. An comfortable layout

2. Effective Storage Options

3. Modern Appliances

4. Strong Materials

5. Lighting

6. Ventilation

7. Color Palettes

8. Eco-Friendly Options

Why Regalo Kitchens is the Top Choice for Modular Kitchen Design in India

1. Superior Quality

2. Extensive Selection of Designs

3. Customization

4. Superb Customer Support

Conclusion

Modern living requires a modular kitchen design. that provides a perfect combination of functionality, simplicity, and use. You can design a kitchen that is functional and stylish by paying attention to important details like layout, storage, and materials. Regalo Kitchens is the leading brand to take advantage of when it comes to customizable kitchen design in India. We makes sure that the perfect kitchen will come to pass with their dedication to quality, personalization, and client happiness.

#regalokitchens #kitchendesign #modularkitchendesign

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thatforgottenbasilisk · 1 year ago

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Elias Bouchard: Post-Mortem

Chapter 2 (AO3)

Jonah knows that there’s going to be trouble. There usually is, with this kind of situation, but the eventuality still necessitates proper preparation.

The issue is, the board still has yet to notify him of his appointment to the role of Institute Head, even though he is fully aware that he put the correct checks in place to ensure that he oughtn’t wait as long as he has so far. They’re going to have to do so, sooner or later, because the Institute cannot properly function without its Head, it cannot be run by bickering shareholders, no matter how much those shareholders want to insist to the contrary.

Even so, he’s going to need the support of the Department Heads, in order to keep the Board from appointing one of the others instead of himself, because technically speaking, they are not in any way forcibly obligated to honor a supposedly dead man’s wishes, no matter how much effort he put into making sure that they did.

He isn’t entirely certain which of the other Department leads (and it grates at him to be on the same level as his employees, these children compared to him) would be best to start with- probably not Michael from Research, considering Bouchard’s work ethic had been… lacking, and Michael would have been the one most primed to know about it.

Not Gertrude, not first, because she's always been a little too observant in all the wrong ways. Artifact Storage is out, because historically, each and every one of those Departments Heads are unilaterally the exact sorts of people that survive Artifact Storage for long enough to become the Heads of it- so, again, like Gertrude, too observant in all the wrong ways.

That doesn't leave very many options left over, and Jonah is suddenly tempted by the idea of testing the waters on Gertrude. If she doesn't realize that it's him and not the real Elias, then he may be able to more easily get her on his side; and where Gertrude goes, the rest of the Institute follows, whether they like it or are even aware of it or not. His Institute does need its Archivist, and Gertrude may not necessarily fill that role to the point that he would like, she is still functional, and thus is the second most important person employed, aside from himself. If she does notice anything amiss, she won't be given the time to investigate it fully, and he can sway everyone else before circling back to her.

Deciding that this "investigation," this test of sorts is what he shall do today, he gets dressed in Elias' least-stained button-up. He's slowly replacing them, but he can't be too sudden about it lest someone start asking questions; he's no Stranger, after all, so there's nothing he can do to keep someone from noticing something amiss. Thus, his choice in dress today is intentional, since he can't guarantee that Gertrude's noticed this slow replacement, making himself seem as close as he can to the original Elias in both appearance and in attitude is optimal to avoid suspicion from the most suspicious woman in the Institute.

He tucks the key under his shirt for good measure; he's been wearing it everywhere since he found it, as a lucky charm of sorts until he can find out what it unlocks. He's sure that it's nothing at the Institute, at least, because he knows all the locks and their associated keys, and none of the keys that were on James Wright's keyring match the one that is now hanging on the string around his neck. Other than that, he doesn't have any clue about what it could possibly be to. It may be to something that either of Elias' parents may have owned or bequeathed to him, but Elias Bouchard was an orphan by time he died; if it belongs to anything that he does not currently own, then it may as well be useless, as the new owners would likely have changed the locks by now.

-----

The Archive is exactly as inviting as it always is, which is to say, not inviting at all.

A basement is always a basement, and it's impossible to mistake it for anything else. The human body always has a sense for when it's underground, a sense of not-quite-claustrophobia, a sense that it is almost toeing the line of taunting that which it should not taunt. The Buried has a very tepid grip on the underground parts of buildings, and very rarely uses this grip on anything unless it's several stories below ground level. Still, Jonah is aware of it every time he walks down to his Archives, though the feeling vanishes the moment he reaches the bottom of the stairwell and is back inside of his own seat of power.

He doesn't expect anybody to greet him right away. The Archives are a winding underground library, where visitors aren't immediately visible, so of course it would take a bit of time for somebody to notice an interloper. That's what he thinks upon reaching the bottom of the staircase; to his surprise, this is inaccurate, as Ms. Robinson herself immediately comes out of her office the moment it's within his immediate field of vision.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, Elias! You are not to be in these Archives without several days' warning, my express permission, and somebody to hold you accountable for any Statements you take out of this room!" She reaches a volume that she never had with James Wright, and immediately begins in attempting to physically shoo him out.

Jonah takes a few steps back, mostly out of surprise, and allows himself to ask- but not Ask- "Why am I being so forcefully thrown out? I'm just standing here! I haven't done anything!" He puts more indignation, more emotion into his voice than he normally would, because Elias Bouchard was a rather emotional man. He clearly allowed his nerves to get the better of him more often than not, considering how even some of his donors noticed how jumpy he was around them, and besides, he was on the younger side. Younger men tend to be more emotional.

Gertrude stops and levels him with a glare that he's sure has put the fear of God into more ungodly creatures than could have ever crawled out of the pits of hell. He's even a little cowed by it, though he's been on the receiving end of quite a few of her glares, so he's at least a bit inoculated by now. "I will not have you coming down here and stealing more Statements. I am missing seventeen by my last count, all of which vanished when you were allowed in here unsupervised. Go back to your finances, and make certain you don't try it with Artifact Storage. Johnathan is well aware of your tricks with the Leitners by now." She spits, as though being a thief of Statements and Leitners is the most vile thing a person could possibly be.

... Wait. Elias was stealing Statements? Leitners, too? Where would he have put them? There was nothing unnatural or Fear-related in his flat, Jonah's checked more than thoroughly, and though he may not have been paying attention to Elias before, he's quite sure that he'd have known the moment Statements started being destroyed. Leitners, no, but Statements would have definitely tipped him off to something untoward happening immediately. They couldn't possibly be anywhere in his desk or office- to whatever degree that closet counts as an "office"- because Jonah's been carefully monitoring that space since before Elias met his unfortunate end.

He doesn't doubt Gertrude, though. The woman is observant, and she is the Archivist at the moment, meaning that she would naturally be a bit more sensitive to thieves than he would. Jonah doesn't tend to pay much attention to displacement, as long as there's no damage or destruction he supposes quite a bit of Statement theft would go unnoticed by him. Perhaps that ought to change in the future.

"Please, I'm not here for any kind of theft." Jonah puts his hands slightly up in a sort of surrender, and Gertrude does not continue pushing him out. He avoids directly addressing her, because he's not quite certain if Elias had called her by her first name or by the more respectful address of Ms. Robinson and it had slipped his mind to find the information before coming down here, as he was a bit too caught up in the excitement of seeing his Archives again.

After a moment of silence, where Jonah supposes he's being silently prodded to elaborate, he continues. "They haven't appointed a new Head of the Institute. It's been months since Mr. Wright passed, I'm not sure if he'd picked anyone but it has to have been one of us, right? The Department Heads, I mean. So if someone from the Board tries to step in instead..."

"Nobody's going to be happy about it." Gertrude finishes seamlessly. "Of course you're not vying for the job, knowing you, but most of our peers have their heads stuck in places they shouldn't be or else are too busy with their own Departments and can't find a replacement any time soon."

Jonah nods. It seems like she's on the right path of thinking, in that Elias may be the only option for the next Head that won't cause riots within the rest of the Institute. He's not offended by the accusation that he's not ambitious enough for the top position, because Elias truly wasn't all that ambitious. He was happy with his place as the Head of Finances, comfortable in having just enough power not to feel like some kind of disappointment, but still not having too many expectations that he needed to meet. "Johnathan would be good, I think, but the turnover's too high in Artifact Storage. Michael hates paperwork, and that's all being the Head is, I'm fairly sure." Jonah puts in his two cents, and Gertrude nods along.

"I refuse to leave these Archives to become the Head of anything. That's all something for the rest of you to figure out." Gertrude declares her neutrality, which is both helpful and not. At least he won't be in opposition to her or any of her actions, because she doesn't seem to care- and why would she? She's got seniority over the other Department Heads, so whichever one of them claws their way to the top- himself, of course, because when the Board inevitably fails in their scheme then he is their next best available option- is bound to pay their due respect to her, and not try to mess with her and the way that she does things.

The statement also seems to be a dismissal, so Jonah- painfully awkwardly, but he still has to be believable- says, "It'll have to fix itself eventually. I suppose I should be heading back upstairs?"

"I suppose you should." Gertrude replies sternly, and Jonah tries to awkwardly laugh, like a child being caught by a teacher, which he supposes Elias would likely feel like in this particular scenario. He turns around and starts walking back upstairs, more questions in his head than any kind of resolution of any kind of problems.

Seventeen Statements, and who knows how many Leitners. They couldn't have been destroyed without his knowledge, so they have to have been stored somewhere. But where? Nowhere immediately obvious comes to mind, at least, nowhere he hasn't already thoroughly checked and not been surprised by the sudden appearance of unexpected stolen goods. The only thing that he can think of that could possibly provide answers would be the key that suddenly feels just a bit heavier around his neck.

If he'd known that Elias would turn out this interesting, Jonah may not have killed him; or, at least, he would have delayed it by quite a while. A key is a very broad question, and merely asking Beholding where the Statements are would yield an address and little else, not even a confirmation of that place corresponding to the key or not. For all he knows, they're being held with an associate while the key is to something entirely different, and Jonah's not going to know any more unless he gets his hands dirty and directly investigates things somehow. Dead men are much more closed-lipped than their living counterparts, so Jonah has to do the digging on his own.

-----

The answer comes from a stray post-it note, of all things.

It's wrinkled, as though it was crumpled with the intent of throwing it away, and he finds it underneath a bookshelf. The bright pink piece of paper has an address scribbled on it, along with the words, "Mum's favorite summer home." The address, Jonah quickly finds, belongs to a vacation home in Bournemouth that was bequeathed to Elias Bouchard upon the passing of his mother.

He goes there on a Saturday morning, driving the car that Elias never used, didn't even know how to use, and Jonah still takes a little more pride than he should in being able to drive it. He'd learned how in a time when many had never even seen an automobile in person, and kept up with the habit in the years since. Right now, Elias Bouchard does not have a driving license, but he can easily fix that as soon as he's back in London and can take a little time off during business hours so that he can jump through the necessary bureaucratic hoops. He hasn't yet because he hasn't wanted to take any time off yet; just another thing that's waiting for his reappointment to the correct position.

The building itself looks neglected, as though nobody's been there for a matter of months; which, at this point, he cannot rightfully blame Elias for, because the man has been dead for a matter of months and thus can't have possibly provided the place with consistent upkeep during that time. He takes the makeshift necklace off and tries the key in the lock; unsurprisingly, it fits perfectly, and Jonah can finally see the place that Beholding was telling him was oh-so-very important.

The Statements are here, he can sense it with the same kind of certainty as if he were looking at them. No Leitners, though, and Jonah suspects that if Elias could have destroyed them, he would have, and therefore likely did.

He looks around every room. Everything is neat, uncharacteristic for Elias' cleaning habits if his flat had been any indication, and every crisp line and organized shelf is covered in a thin layer of dust. Considering the look and feel of the place, he's more than a little surprised that no Entity has snatched it up by now, but perhaps the presence of the Statements cemented it as a place for Beholding before anything else could take root. Even the soft furniture, the couch and the beds, they've all gathered up dust despite the perfectly tidy state that they were left in.

There is only one room in the place that looks like it was used by anyone. It's the last room that Jonah enters, and he immediately sees the wrinkled bedsheets and opened drawers of the smallest bedroom in the place. There's a tiny part of him that's relieved that there actually was human life in this place, but that part is drowned out by mild exasperation at just how much of a mess the person attached to this body was.

Then, he steps fully into the room, and sees the corkboard completely full of notes, papers, and red string.

It's... an intricate web, Jonah deduces as he slowly walks closer. All of the missing Statements are there, each one either connected to another, a note, a photograph, or some combination of all of those. There's a Statement of the Lonely connected to a document on the donors to the Institute, with the Lukas family highlighted so intently that some of the paper must have flaked away; another, with a Vast Statement connected to another copy of the same document, this time with the Fairchilds highlighted with the same intensity.

As Jonah looks at the connections, it becomes more and more apparent that Elias Bouchard figured out the theory of Smirke's Fourteen, and likely made some half-decent guesses as to the nature of the Fears. How very interesting indeed.

It seems that Jonah had underestimated him, loathe as he is to admit it. He'd believed that Elias knew nothing, and even if he had a part of the puzzle, he'd never be smart enough to put any of the pieces together; now the evidence is plain in front of him that he was wrong.

A few things are incorrect, of course, but considering that this was likely made without anybody else's interference, it's to be expected, and no less impressive. There are connections placed between all of the Fears, blurring them together more than the rigid boxes that Smirke's theory put them in, in some parts of the corkboard even making it seem like they all may be blended together. There are old newspaper reports, most pertinently, covering the fallout of some of the rituals that never succeeded; upon these articles are notes attached, with vague notes about why Elias clearly believed that they failed.

"Collapsed in on itself; no Loneliness without a taste/fear of connection," written on a document of the last failed Lonely ritual; "No fear of being Known without memory of privacy DARKNESS," written on a neat and modern piece of copy paper, upon which is copied only the barest hint of the failure of the Watcher's Crown. There are more like this, implications that each and every ritual must fail, is destined to fail before it even begins.

In the center of this web is a single piece of notebook paper, haphazardly torn, out of what seems to be a small notebook. Upon it, several times over in bright red ink, is written in all capitals:

THERE CAN BE NO FEAR IN ISOLATION

ALL IS ONE

EVERY FEAR MUST BE BROUGHT IN TOGETHER

ALL AT ONCE

Jonah stares at the note, and he thinks. Every attempted ritual in recent memory was thwarted by Gertrude, but what about the ones before her? The Watcher's Crown was not interfered with, he'd simply thought that there was a problem with his own design; there are others who he'd once thought quite competent failing at their own rituals, of their own accord; is it possible that this idiot, this miserable stoner, knew more about all of this than millennia of dedicated worshippers? More, perhaps, than even Jonah himself?

It makes sense. It makes far too much sense, and besides; the time for the Watcher's Crown is coming up again soon. Perhaps he can test this theory with his next choice in Archivist.

#tma #tma fic #my writing #elias bouchard: post-mortem #elias bouchard: post-mortem fic

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don��t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

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regalokitchens18 · 2 months ago

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Modular Kitchen Design Essentials For A Modern Lifestyle

Source of info:https://www.regalokitchens.com/modular-kitchen-design-essentials-for-a-modern-lifestyle.php

Introduction

What is a Modular Kitchen?

Why Choose Modular Kitchen Design?

1. Customization

2. Effective Use of Space

3. Ease of Maintenance

4. Fast Installation

5. Cost-Effective

Key Elements of a Modern Modular Kitchen Design

A modular kitchen must have a few important elements in order to fit into a modern lifestyle. Let's examine these crucial elements:

1. An comfortable layout

2. Effective Storage Options

3. Modern Appliances

4. Strong Materials

5. Lighting

6. Ventilation

7. Color Palettes

8. Eco-Friendly Options

Why Regalo Kitchens is the Top Choice for Modular Kitchen Design in India

1. Superior Quality

2. Extensive Selection of Designs

3. Customization

4. Superb Customer Support

Conclusion

#regalokitchens #modularkitchen #kitchendesign

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multimetaverse · 3 years ago

Note

apparently larry, joe, and mark are missing from the HSMTMTS cast lineup

Looks like it anon. It's been a week but there's been no further clarification regarding them being in S3 and they haven't been spotted on set yet (nor are the new season regulars following them on insta when they do follow everyone else mentioned in the S3 cast list). It does make a certain amount of sense why there are two new season regulars and Lily apparently being promoted to regular if they’re replacing Seb, Big Red, and Mazzara. I do think it’s likely that we see them briefly, if just over facetime, but it will be jarring if they just vanish for a quarter of the series and then pop back up in S4. And of course, with Seb potentially being gone we lose the only same-sex relationship on the show and half of the lgbtq rep which would be a horrible step backwards from the very real progress the show made in S2. I’ll use this as a jumping off point to share some half baked thoughts I have about S3, in no particular order:

- Will the events of S3 end up mattering very much? Let’s say that S3 is just the change of pace the series needs and that the new characters are well received by the audience. Are we ever going to see any of the new regulars or guest stars after S3? Will they be able to keep any momentum going from S3 into S4 when there will be a six month time jump?

- If they have dropped Seb, Big Red, and Mazzara it’s much more likely that EJ does get dropped in S4, or at least that he only appears sporadically

- Val is obviously a foil for Gina. I don’t think EJ dumps Gina for Val but I do think Val being a college student will make Gina insecure and lead to Gina and EJ mutually breaking up near or at the end of S3 after agreeing that they’re in different stages of their lives. The most important thing about Val is that she keeps Ricky’s hands clean of any role in the Portwell breakup. There’s a slim chance that Val just ends up strengthening Portwell but Tim will easily sacrifice them so he can explore Rina

- A default Rina endgame is looking much more likely as it’s now clear that Olivia and Joshua are not even on speaking terms. The chances of one or both of them simply refusing to film a romantic Rini get back together in the S4/series finale is something that Tim will have to keep in mind. It also means that if there is a Rini endgame then it will be very last minute and probably fairly low key

- A lot of people were surprised that Olivia Rodrigo is back but it never made sense that Disney would let one of the most famous pop singers in the world just walk away from her 4 season contract. It’s also important to keep in mind that Disney doesn’t pay their stars all that well and that her salary would have been negotiated when she wasn’t very famous so Disney is getting quite the bargain of using her popularity to boost the show while paying her a pittance

- The show’s original flaw is that Tim wrote the core 4 as being in three different grades. It’s a flaw that has caused a lot damage and may yet end up wrecking the show. The basic problem is that the show was originally built around Ricky and Nini which is why they’re the same grade; the logical end for the show is them graduating and getting back together at the end of their senior year. But now with the personal drama between the actors the original plan may no longer be feasible. EJ was just meant to be a temporary obstacle to Rini which is why it didn’t matter that he was a year older. And Gina was just meant to be a minor obstacle to Rini which is why Tim was surprised that they had chemistry because he never expected or needed them to, so it didn’t matter that she was a year younger. Relatedly it was also the logical move to pair Portwell together after Rini got back together and they were no longer needed as plot devices.

Now though with EJ graduated the Portwell age gap is a big issue and Ricky and Nini may never be able to get back together due to the actors personal enmity. Which leaves Rina except that Gina will still be a junior when Ricky graduates which leaves them with the same life stages gap issue that Portwell has. I think Tim is aware that he needs at least some of the core 4 to end the series in a relationship otherwise the ending just won’t work. If Tim does decide or is forced to go with a Rina endgame then he should lay the groundwork in S3 and just retcon Gina’s age so that she will be a senior in S4 just like Ricky. That way he can just graft her onto the original last semester plan for Ricky and Nini.

- Are we getting new writers? Tim is ultimately to blame for the messy writing for S2 but since he won’t be fired is he at least going to make changes in his writer’s room?

- If Big Red isn’t in much of S3 that probably means that a fair bit of Ricky’s time is spent with Lily. I think they’ll inevitably be sunk by the end of S3 but I do think it’s likely that intentionally or not we’ll get some good development for Rily that will actually win over most of the audience

#High School Musical: The Musical: The Series #HSMTMTS #Rini #Rina #Portwell #Ricky Bowen #Gina Porter #nini salazar-roberts #EJ Caswell #HSMTMTS Asks #Asks #Answered

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emblemxeno · 3 years ago

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JP vs. Localization in Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation

(Okay, for real this time lol)

Again, here’s a link to my sources post.

Fortunately, this route follows suit in terms of good localization quality after Conquest. It’s the shortest out of all the posts, since I don’t really have a lot to talk about. Mostly subtle line changes, references and a few key points of information that were cut out. I also went through Hidden Truths and Heirs of Fate to see if I could add stuff from those on here, but there were no big problems that I found.

Once again, the main part of this post will all be put under the cut. If a chapter isn’t covered, it means I didn’t think there were any differences worth talking about.

I’ll use localized names for characters and locations, unless I feel the need to do otherwise.

I’ll be using she/her when referring to Corrin in this post. (I flipped a coin to decide the gender lol)

Also, note that after Chapter 14, the translation of this route on Fateswartable ends, so I mostly relied on the English patch done by Serenes at that point forward. (I also used PegasusKnight.com as a reference to fall back on if I needed it)

Chapter 7

-A minor gripe I have with localization. The JP version compares Touma (Valla) to hell constantly. To jump ahead a bit, I believe in the JP versions of the End of All Sky/Land/Below tracks are even called The End of All Roads Heaven/Earth/Hell. The Vallites are also often called demons in the JP version, and Anankos himself is known as the ‘Invisible Demon Dragon’.

Another cool thing I just thought of too, is a connection to a popular Japanese short story. Zelda fans might be familiar with the story, “The Spider’s Thread”, which inspired the Ancient Cistern dungeon in Skyward Sword.

The beginning of the story has Buddha walking through paradise (heaven), before coming across a pond. The pond is filled with crystal clear water, and covered with water lilies/lotuses. As Buddha gazes further into the pond, he begins to see the depths of hell.

Sound familiar? “Azura is walking through Hoshido, before coming across a lake. The lake is filled with crystal clear water, and when she gazes into the lake she sees the fallen kingdom of her birth. Valla, the kingdom associated with water lilies/lotuses in the game, has been turned into hell itself.”

This association loses its meaning a bit when the comparisons to hell are a bit toned down, as well as when the Buddhist inspirations were kind of supplanted in favor of Greek renames. It’s not supremely important to the plot as a whole, but it’s something interesting I wanted to bring up.

-In the JP version, while explaining what happened in Valla, Azura eventually says “Using the art of manipulating people’s souls, he (Hydra/Anankos) made the people kill each other.” This bit of the people killing each other was cut in localization.

Chapter 12

-In the JP version, when Corrin asks Flora if she knows anything about dragons, Flora says “Sorry, I don’t know…The ancestral dragon of the Ice Clan has already perished and isn’t part of the legend. I don’t know what role it plays, sorry…” Localization makes her response “I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything... They've been gone so long that we don't even have tales of dragons in the Ice Tribe. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more assistance...”

So, the JP version explicitly says the Ice Dragon is dead (I believe Fates’ second artbook mentioned this as well), whereas the localization only says the First Dragons have been gone for a long time.

Chapter 16

-There’s not really much of a problem that I have with what Ryoma says about Corrin “having leadership qualities at a young age” but I wanted to do comparisons regardless cuz the word choice might lead one to different conclusions. In localization, Ryoma says this:

Ryoma: Huh... So she told us the same thing... I don't think it's in Corrin's nature to lie. And there's a leadership quality about her that just attracts followers. I remember being jealous of her as a child, in fact. Even at such a young age, she displayed the characteristics of a ruler. Silly to be jealous of her, right?

In the JP version, Ryoma says this:

Ryoma: Oh... So, she told you the same thing. …Corrin isn’t one to tell lies. She’s been like that since childhood. She’s always genuine and honest... She has this mysterious appeal that draws people to her. Seeing my younger sister with the qualities of being a ruler... Honestly, it makes me feel envious. …What a ridiculous thing to say, right?

Again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with how it was localized, but some might. The localization version might have people think that Corrin somehow was a fantastic leader at such a young age, but JP is more clear that it was about the qualities she had at a young age that would be valuable as a leader.

Chapter 19

-A minor gripe. In the localization, Azura says that Anankos uses his magic to send Vallites to Nohr and Hoshido to stir up conflict. In the JP version, she says he uses magic, along with the help of a body of water. That’s why whenever you fight Vallites outside of Valla proper, there’s a body of water nearby; Hoshido’s lake (and the ponds shown in Hinoka’s CQ battle which are in the capital) for Chapter 5, the sea for BR chapter 11, the burning falls for BR chapter 21, and the city for Rev chapter 13. Similarly, the consequences of being a victim to the curse are described as “turning into sea foam” in the JP version. Localization as a whole kind of toned down how much water has an influence on the story.

Chapter 23

-Probably the pettiest gripe I have lol. As Arete is fading away from Azura’s arms, Azura has a different reaction in localization and Japanese. In localization, Azura says “Mother? Mother!” while a voice clip of her in-battle pain cries plays. In the JP, she says “*Sob... Sob*…! Mother... Mother...!”, while a voice clip of her crying plays. Her crying voice clip I don’t recall hearing anywhere else.

This is one of the few times in the you get to see Azura express a heavy and heartfelt emotion, since her rough childhood caused her to remain guarded and stoic around everyone. The equivalents to this scene in other routes is her death scene in Birthright, and her crying with Corrin over Ryoma’s death in Conquest; a normally unflinching and aloof character breaking down is a rarity, and indicates that the cause of it is something to take note of for the character as a whole. Localization softened this aspect, and I take issue with it, despite it probably seeming trivial to most other people.

Chapter 24

-When Corrin is questioning the phantom Mikoto, an exchange happens. In localization, part of it goes like this:

Corrin: But this can't be... Are you truly my mother?

Mikoto: I am. Even as a puppet of Anankos, my spirit at least remains my own.

Corrin: I... I believe you.

In the JP version, it goes like this:

Corrin: It can’t be... …Are you really my mother?

Mikoto: Yes... I became an Invisible servant, controlled by the Invisible King... Even so, I am your mother.

Corrin: …………

Again, a minor thing that I don’t personally have issue with, but replacing Corrin’s silence with an admittance of belief could make some believe she has “reverted” back to being too naïve.

Chapter 26

-While Gunter is relaying his past, an exchange happens. In localization, it goes like this:

Gunter: I ask myself that, every day. I cannot understand the minds of royals. To you all, we commoners are little more than pawns in your schemes... Or weeds to be killed on a whim.

Corrin: That's not true...

Xander: Is that how people view the royalty?

Ryoma: Such an impression would easily breed powerful resentment...

In the JP version, Corrin, Xander and Ryoma don’t say anything. They just remain silent.

Endgame

-Not a major problem so much as a general thing about the game, but I can think of like... at least three memes that Treehouse inserted into the localization. Now I like memes, but there is no better way to date your media nowadays. One of them was Kana’s “That’s dragon for I love you” which tbh, is kind of cute and isn’t the most well known meme so I guess I can let it slide. Another is Felicia saying “I had one job!” when she messes up in the dining hall, which isn’t that big of a deal since the dining hall is very optional.

The last one I can think of is why I put this specific grievance here, and it’s during Corrin’s speech before facing Anankos.

Corrin: We won't back down! This is my... This is our destiny! Ready your weapons! Fight for your friends! With the Seal of Flames... With the Fire Emblem on our side! We fight for our world!!

Yeah, she says “Fight for your friends” which is everyone’s favorite Ike line from Brawl. Now, this isn’t even a totally inaccurate translation either, but it kind of just... makes the moment funny for the player when it’s supposed to be commanding and serious I guess.

But yeah, not the most important issue by far, but something I’d thought to mention. Hell, it’s not even that bad compared to how they made Peri’s, Effie’s and Hisame’s quirks into exaggerated and tired jokes. And the Beruka-Saizo support. Never forget.

-When Azura and Corrin are by the lake and discuss the latter’s plans to rule, Corrin says this in localization:

Corrin: I'm going to make Valla a wonderful place! In honor of the true last king and for Queen Arete. And everyone who fought... I promise to make them all proud.

In the JP version, she says this:

Corrin: I’ll make the Invisible Kingdom (Valla) into a great land. For the previous monarch, Queen Shenmei (Arete)… And for all of my allies who fought beside me. I promise.

So, JP version only mentions Arete as the reigning monarch of Valla. Which makes sense, cuz unless there was some wild “keeping the bloodline pure” shenanigans in Valla, Arete being the Queen keeps in line with what we know about the rest of Valla’s history. Arete was royalty from birth, as was her sister Mikoto. Arete is the one who passed down Lost in Thoughts and the pendant to Azura.

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kuroopaisen · 4 years ago

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tiny love || v

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. but that was a year ago - things are different now. and you have other things to worry about. things like moving halfway across the world for university; and moving in with the very boy who’d broken your heart.

warnings: f!reader

wc: 4.3k

m.list | ch. 4 ↞ ch. 5↠ ch. 6

Life moved too quickly.

That was the only logical conclusion you could come to after the past few weeks. One minute you’re finding out you’ve got a scholarship to a university overseas, the next you’re spending as much time with your friends as you can without burning out, and then suddenly you’re standing at the airport, suitcase in hand and loved ones lined up in front of you like this is some fantasy RPG and you’re about to go into the final battle.

Your family had said goodbye before, but that didn’t seem to make it any easier. You’re the youngest, after all. The baby.

“Remember to call if you need anything, okay?” Your mother said, smoothing a hand over your hair.

“I know, mum,” you smiled. “I love you.”

She sighed, pulling you into a hug. She said nothing more, letting the slight tremble in her arms say all that was in her heart.

Your father was next, ruffling your hair with a certain melancholy. “Be good, you hear?” He chastised. “Don’t talk to boys.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning. “Dad…”

“I’m just saying, there are more important things to focus on,” he nodded sagely. “And don’t go causing any trouble.”

“I won’t,” you nodded. “Promise.”

Kaori was next, a certain mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Send me a photo of every pigeon you come across,” Kaori said.

You grinned at her. “Really?”

“Mhm,” she nodded. “That way I’ll know you’re alive every day.”

You stuck your tongue out at her. “That’s a terrible plan.”

“Is it so wrong for me to want to check up on my little sister?” She teased. “I just want to make sure you won’t forget about me.”

“I won’t,” you laughed. “I’m sure you won’t let me.”

“Too right,” she grinned.

She gave you one good, tight hug. She, more than anyone else in your family, seemed to be the best at swallowing this whole situation. It was a relief to know that someone would be there to console your parents.

Finally, Amaya. She pouted at you, pulling you into a rough hug.

“Don’t forget to text me, okay?” Amaya mumbled, her arms tight around her shoulders. “Or I’ll knife you.”

“I know,” you chuckled, squeezing your grip on her waist. “I’ll keep you updated on everything, don’t worry.”

“You better,” she huffed, pulling away slowly.

Once, you might’ve dreamed of going to the same university together. But life had a funny way of taking your plans and crumbling them to dust in the palm of its hand.

But you were sure that no matter what, your friendship would hold steadfast. Amaya wasn’t the type of person to let things die so easily.

You couldn’t delay any longer.

As you walked through the gate, you wondered if Tooru had felt like this. If he’d been hounded by this unrelenting fear, doubt, and anxiety. If he’d also felt like throwing up. If he had, he’d covered it up well.

That thought didn’t do much to quell the lurching in your stomach.

Tokyo had once felt unbelievably far away. But California? That was a different beast.

✧ ✧ ✧

After a twenty-hour plane ride and two stop offs later, you’d come to the conclusion that airports, in fact, were the most unholy places known to man. Whose fault was it that airports were labyrinthine hellholes which were impossible to navigate?

By the grace of God, or perhaps as an apology for the godforsaken pilgrimage that was your flight, you managed to find the luggage pickup area with relative ease. By the time you managed to haul your suitcase off the baggage carousel you were ready to take a nap for the next three months.

You sighed, looking up at the clock hung high on the wall. 5:21 AM. Ew.

You felt a touch of pity for all the workers rostered on at such an ungodly hour.

Oh, and whoever was responsible for escorting you to your new ‘home’.

As you trundled through that godforsaken place, suitcase trailing behind you and carry-on slung over your shoulder, you were too tired to think and too tired to worry about who might be waiting for you.

That clawing anxiety had gripped you for the first hour or so of your flight, but it’d been completely replaced with other worries.

There’s only fiberglass separating you and an absurdly high fall… what happens if the plane goes down? What happens if one of the wings caught fire? What if one of the doors inexplicably ripped off mid-flight and sucked you out through a vacuum?

Regardless, you’d landed with your soul very much attached to your body – although that in itself presented you with a host of new problems.

You glared at the signs pointing in every conceivable direction, praying that your English was good enough to decrypt this mess for you.

Arrivals. That sounded right.

You dragged your feet in that direction with a big yawn, decorum be damned.

A thin crowd was gathered at the gate, waiting to greet the ragtag group of travellers who filtered through. Mothers, daughters, beloved friends, lovers…

You scanned the crowd with narrowed eyes and the hope that you’d catch sight of some familiarity.

Oh.

There was your name on a placard, written in hiragana.

And holding it…

Shit.

Iwaizumi Hajime. He was glancing around the airport, seemingly a little bleary-eyed.

Your flight-or-fight response was well and truly activated. Had he really shown up at the airport at five in the morning just to pick you up?

Oh no. Oh God. That’s… not what you were expecting. Sure, you’d been told you’d be “picked up” from the airport, but you’d just expected some taxi service or something. Your mum had sorted that all out anyway – she’d insisted that you let her do that, at least, to give her some peace of mind.

But she hadn’t told you it would be Iwaizumi picking you up. Were you supposed to have assumed that? Fuck.

With the inside of your cheek trapped between your teeth and a sinking feeling in your gut, you dragged yourself towards him.

Each step you took towards him just seemed to make him look even hotter. He was wearing a loose white shirt, but you could tell that he was built. Even more built than he’d been when he left. He hadn’t done his hair in that spiky Godzilla style he used to, and it’s longer than when you’d last seen him. He’s gotten a tan, too – an unfairly flattering golden tan.

And he was wearing a pair of fucking grey sweatpants.

I’m going to die, you thought. It’s official. I am the world’s biggest idiot, and Iwaizumi Hajime will be the cause of my death via cardiac arrest.

Was it too presumptuous to text your family your goodbyes?

He caught sight of you.

You made eye contact for the first time in a year.

What do I do? Your thought, cursing yourself out for being so… so like this.

But Iwaizumi just waved at you with a small smile on his face.

You closed the distance between the two of you with trepidation, scouring your mind for what to say to him.

Hi? How are you? It’s good to see you?

None of those felt quite right. You were much too tired for this. And he was much too hot—

“Hey,” he smiled, dropping his hand to his side.

“Hi,” you nodded, resisting the urge to bow. Should you bow? He is your senior… but this isn’t Japan. But that didn’t change the rules of etiquette, did it?

“I can carry that, if you need,” he said, nodding towards your luggage.

Under normal circumstances, you probably would have refused on the basis of pride alone. But you’d just flown halfway around the world, and you were doing your best not to drool at the bloody Adonis standing before you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, handing him your carry-on. You managed to finish the hand off without your fingers brushing, much to your relief.

Iwaizumi observed you for a second, a touch of concern in his eyes. “You okay?”

“Just tired,” you smiled at him weakly. Surprisingly, it wasn’t a lie.

“Understandably,” he chuckled, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket.

You frowned as he jangled them around one finger. “You drive?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I got my license back in Japan. Managed to transfer it over.”

“Huh,” you said. When had he learned to drive? That’d been happening right next door and you’d had no idea?

“You ready?” He asked, looking at you over his shoulder as he turned around.

You nodded, tugging on the handle on your suitcase.

The two of you made your way to his car, which turned out to be a dingy-looking thing cobbled together with dull navy metal and rubber.

You said nothing as you packed the luggage into the boot, Iwaizumi doing most of the grunt work. Part of you felt bad, but you knew full-well that he had more strength in his right middle finger than you could ever dream of having.

He strolled around to your side of the car before you had time to remember which side of the road Americans drove on.

“Here you go,” he said. The asshole just had to open your door for you too, didn’t he?

You nodded your thanks, settling into your seat with a little more frustration than feasible.

He’d slipped into the driver’s seat as you finished buckling yourself in, and before you had time to take much of anything in, he was backing out of his parking lot.

You watched him from the corner of your eye.

He looked so… casual, doing this. The Iwaizumi you knew had never been behind the wheel of a car. And yet now, he’s moving like it’s second nature.

How much had you missed? So much must’ve happened while you were out of contact.

“Hey, uh… Iwaizumi?” You mumbled, clenching your fists in your lap.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for picking me up,” you said, chewing on your cheek. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“No problem,” he chuckled.

You felt like you should say something else. But you’re weren’t sure what. He seemed relatively calm, given the situation. Saying the wrong thing could potentially fuck that up.

“How was your flight?” He asked, gently making his way through the car park.

“Uh…” Was there a polite word for ‘awful’? “It was fine.” You shrugged. “I made it here in one piece, so…”

Iwaizumi chuckled. The sound made your stomach flip.

You leant back in your chair, closing your eyes with a sigh. You didn’t know how far away your apartment was. Fifteen minutes? Ten? An hour?

Your brain reeled with potential small-talk topics. There might be a lot of time to fill.

“Take a nap if you need to,” Iwaizumi said.

“Thanks,” you hummed.

Maybe he was aware that he was giving you an out. Maybe he had no idea.

But you were more than happy to take it regardless.

✧ ✧ ✧

A pre-made bed was waiting for you in your room. You blinked at it a few times, the brain-fog of a long flight still clouding your mind.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Iwaizumi said, leaning against your doorframe. “I just got you some sheets because I didn’t think you’ have the energy to sort all that out today.”

You’re going to cry. Cry, and then die.

“Do you need help unpacking?” He asked.

You turned around sharply at those words, waving your hands about. “Oh no, no… I’m fine.”

He looked at you for a moment longer, as if he was appraising you. He simply nodded. “Well, call out if you need me.”

“Yep!” You offered him an unbearably stretched smile.

“Alright,” he said. With that, he was gone.

You sighed, turning to your suitcase. It was laid on the floor, unopened.

Shit. This really was a big move, wasn’t it?

And, you’d moved in with Iwaizumi. Something you’d never expected – not like this, anyway.

Shaking that thought out of your head, you kneeled in front of your suitcase. Something about it felt more reverent than it had any right to. You unzipped it slowly, pushing back the battered red lid to reveal your belongings.

You bit the inside of your cheek, starting with the first layer. You’d packed your pyjamas on the top – a move you’d like to thank younger you for.

As you placed it in your lap, you gazed at the rest of your belongings crammed into your suitcase.

You hadn’t brought all that much. Mostly clothes that you thought would be appropriate for the Californian weather, a few knick-knacks and keepsakes that you felt particularly attached to, a handful of your favourite books, your polaroid camera…

So much had been left behind. You didn’t mind that, for the most part; but it still felt like you were abandoning a part of yourself. Everything you’d accumulated over the past nineteen years, just…

Maybe your parents would hold onto all your things. But it wouldn’t be remiss for them to throw them away.

It’s all just part of growing up. That’s what you told yourself – you had to change, move on and get over it.

If Tooru could do it, you could to. You had to.

But now it felt like his shadow was hanging over you darker than ever. Part of your own journey had been dictated by him; if he hadn’t recommended you live with Iwaizumi, where would you be?

What was Iwaizumi even like now? Was he a good person? He’d been very nice and polite ever since you’d seen him at the airport, but…

Was he trying to be warm? Or was he keeping you at an arm’s length? Could your ‘friendship’ ever recover from… that?

You swallowed, running a hand over one of your dresses.

Honestly, you just wanted to go to sleep.

You didn’t want to leave the room because that meant you might bump into Iwaizumi. You didn’t want to unpack because you had the sneaking suspicion that it was going to make you feel like crying. You didn’t want to call anyone because you knew you didn’t have the energy to do so.

There was only one thing to do, then.

You managed to drag yourself towards your bed, hoisting yourself onto it with a grunt. You curled up on top of the sheets, wrapping your arms around your knees.

The ache in your eyes didn’t subside as your closed them, but there was nothing else to do.

Attempting to rest was better than nothing.

✧ ✧ ✧

A knock on your door.

You bolted upright, startled out of your uneasy slumber.

“Hey.” Iwaizumi’s voice was distant but distinctive.

“Hm?” You didn’t trust your own voice to hold up.

“You okay?”

You bit your lip. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine.”

It wasn’t your best lie,

A long pause followed.

“No, you’re not.” His voice was soft, gentle. Not like what you’d expected.

Although, you weren’t even sure what that was.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“Uh…” You swallowed roughly, crossing your legs. “Yeah. Sure.”

He needed no more prompting, letting himself in and leaning himself against the wall.

There was good distance between the two of you. You’re grateful for it.

“What’s wrong?” He looked genuinely concerned. Why, you didn’t know.

Nor did you know if you should actually tell him. There was admittedly no reason to; at this point in your life, he was just a roommate.

“It’s just…” You sighed, your mouth moving before your brain. “It’s a big move, you know? I don’t think I’m ready for it.”

You’d had this conversation over and over again, both with Tooru and with Amaya. I’m not ready. I’m not ready. I’m not ready. It was the one thought you couldn’t escape, no matter how hard you tried to justify this whole thing to yourself.

“You’re more ready than you know,” he said softly. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. “I guess…”

“It’s not easy, but you can do it.” His tone was resolute, not harsh but firm. It almost makes you feel like he’s right. Almost.

“And…” He swallowed, his gaze flicking to the ground. “I’ll look out for you. You’re not alone.”

You weren’t quite sure what those words made you feel.

“Thank you, Iwaizumi.” Your voice is quiet enough to go unheard, but he smiled. It was only a little smile – one someone who hadn’t known him for so long might’ve missed – but it was genuine. You couldn’t tell if that was a good omen or a grim portent.

“You shouldn’t be thinking about this tonight,” he nodded, standing up straight. “You’re already exhausted, so you’ll only make it harder for yourself.”

You pouted at him, much to your own surprise. Unfortunately, he was right.

“Give me a moment,” he said suddenly, disappearing.

You sighed, lying back on your bed and closing your eyes.

It felt like you’d entered the Twilight Zone.

Maybe things would improve when you started uni. Then you’d have something else to think about that wasn’t just ‘oh God, I moved in with Iwaizumi Hajime and that was stupid, dumb, and a colossal mistake.’

Your instincts were begging you to book a flight and go straight home to Japan. Surely, you might be able to get into some university – sure, you missed the entrance exams, but perhaps…

Were you already chickening out? Tooru had moved halfway across the world entirely on his own, but he’d never once thought about turning back. And yet here you were, lying in your bed feeling like you were about to disintegrate just because your roommate happened to be someone you used to have feelings for.

God, that was pathetic. It was only day one.

“Here you go.”

You flinched, sitting up suddenly.

Iwaizumi stood at the side of your bed, holding a mug out to you. You hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Oh, thanks,” you nodded. As you took it from him, you peeked at the tea bag.

Your favourite. He’d made you your favourite tea. You took a tentative sip.

Shit.

“I hope you still like it that way,” he said, a touch of pink to his cheeks.

It reminded you of winter back home.

“I do.” You looked up at him, giving him a genuine smile.

He smiled right back, his face softening in that rare but stunning way you remembered.

You were a little proud of yourself for keeping it together.

“I, ah…” Iwaizumi cleared his throat, taking a few slow steps away from the bed. “I’m going to go to bed. I’ve got practice early tomorrow, so…”

You nodded.

As you watched him leave, closing your bedroom door on the way, you wondered if you should’ve asked him what his training was for.

But you just sipped your tea.

This really was going to be difficult, wasn’t it?

✧ ✧ ✧

By the time you woke up in the morning, Iwaizumi was out. That was something of a relief. Iwaizumi not being around meant you could explore the apartment without the fear of bumping into him.

So, you took the opportunity, sneaking out of your room and taking stock of the layout of your apartment. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room attached to a kitchen… it wasn’t big, but you weren’t about to complain.

It’s quite a change from the family home you grew up in, but the change is a little exciting. It’s certainly liveable, and you know your parents are grateful for the fact rent was affordable enough.

The apartment was well-tended and clean. You weren’t sure if he’d cleaned it up before you’d arrived – which wasn’t unlikely – or if he usually kept it this neat – which also wasn’t unlikely.

A few photos hung on the wall, some with people you knew, some you didn’t. There were a few photos of the Seijoh team, exhibiting various degrees of chaos. Some others included people that you recognized as his friends from high school, and there were several of himself, Tooru, Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Other photos were a total mystery, though. Probably friends from university, a mix of men and women you didn’t recognize.

You didn’t let yourself look at them for too long; your mind was concocting too many questions, too many narratives that made your gut feel all funny.

The only other thing of particular interest was the television and the DVD stand next to it, stuffed full of both Japanese and English movies. Most people streamed these days, but Iwaizumi had always been a bit of a traditionalist when it came to technology.

Regardless, the small size of the apartment meant there wasn’t all that much to explore.

You slunk back to your room after a close inspection of the bathroom, which you decreed as ‘clean enough’.

By the time you passed through the threshold of your room, a quiet blanket of exhaustion settling over you. Jetlag really was a piece of shit.

You tossed yourself on your bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe you could call someone. But you weren’t sure how the time zones lined up. Your parents wouldn’t be happy with you if you woke them up at some ungodly hour, and Kaori needed the rest. Amaya might be up, but you didn’t want to stress her out…

Tooru was an option. He wasn’t that far away in the grand scheme of things, and he might’ve been able to offer some advice…

But he was probably busy. And you’d already bothered him enough.

God, why were you so frustrated? Was it exhaustion? Anxiety? How difficult it was to wrap your head around the situation? You just wanted to sleep for a week.

Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered closed, and you drifted into an uneasy nap.

✧ ✧ ✧

A firm, steady knock cut through your barely conscious mind.

You blinked rapidly, frowning. Shit, did you have another nap? That better not become a habit.

With a groan (and a great deal of strain) you managed to get off your bed, dragging yourself to your door.

You opened it with trepidation.

Iwaizumi stood on the other side with a glass of water in one hand and a bowl of yakisoba with chopsticks poking out of it in the other.

“Uh,” he cleared his throat, eyes flicking to the ground, “you didn’t come out to eat, and I didn’t see any dishes in the sink, so…”

“Ah,” you swallowed. “Right.”

You hadn’t eaten yet. All day.

“Thanks,” you nodded, taking the bowl from him. To his credit, it looked good; plenty of vegetables, and nothing seemed to be burnt. That might be a low bar, but you digressed.

“Would you like to eat at the table?” He asked.

You resisted the urge to stare at him.

Eat at the table? Like… like… a family? Did roommates do that?

“Sure,” you nodded. You’re not really sure why – some fear of hurting his feelings, probably.

But you tottered after him, hoping to God that your stomach would settle enough to allow you to eat.

Iwaizumi settled himself down at the table, his seat already prepared with a glass of water, a bowl, and a pair of chopsticks.

He set the glass of water in his hand down opposite from him, in what seemed to be your designated spot.

You slipped yourself into the seat, taking note of just how uncomfortable it was. Affordability over comfort – a student mantra, apparently.

“How was practice?” You asked. You just wanted to fill the silence. Once upon a time, silence between the two of you wouldn’t have made you feel like crawling out of your own skin.

“It was good,” he nodded. He didn’t seem like he was trying to be terse of anything – Iwaizumi was just a man of succinct, short sentences.

“I’m assuming it’s volleyball?”

He chuckled. “Yeah.”

You took a small bite of your yakisoba. It reminded you of home. “Are you still a wing spiker?” You asked.

“Mhm,” Iwaizumi nodded. “Although there’s a fair bit of competition for the spot.”

“Really?” You asked. You couldn’t imagine a volleyball team where Iwaizumi wasn’t heralded as a magnificent player.

“A lotta guys wanna be the ace,” he grinned.

You smiled. That made sense.

Silence fell over the two of you for a moment as you both focused on your meals. Your appetite was voracious, now – you hadn’t even realised how hungry you were until you’d started eating.

“Did you leave the apartment today?” Iwaizumi asked, making you jump.

“Ah, no,” you shook your head. “I was worried about getting lost.”

“Fair.”

Another silence settled over you, a more pensive expression taking over Iwaizumi’s face.

He was completely unreadable. Probably because you knew nothing about him. Not anymore.

“Would you like me to show you around tomorrow?” He asked.

You blinked at him, completely blindsided.

“We could get lunch,” he offered.

You stared at him for a long moment, trying to process the muddle of feelings inside you.

What on earth was going on? Perhaps he was just reaching out a friendly hand. And, chances were, he felt some kind of duty to protect you.

“Sure,” you smiled. “Sounds great.”

You weren’t stupid enough to push away the only ally you had in this strange new world. Hopefully, other friends would come. But for now, it was just you and Iwaizumi in this little apartment, trying to make this arrangement work.

You had to make it work.

You’d find a way.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: aaaa thank you for your support so far! sorry this one’s a bit choppy, but i think you’ll enjoy chapter 6 (i hope sfdlkdfj)

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #tiny love

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