#at least it exists on my tumblr page lmao

[captain-ghost]

Doing a games art course is crazy because you'll have a story idea for a character that lives in a dangerous, abandoned world that travels through the memories of someone presumably long-gone and watches the bright memories slowly being corrupted by the influence of the outside world as you discover more and more of their life complete with compelling design choices and horrific and threatening creatures and atmosphere, only to be told you have 6 weeks and have a tight brief.

[ineffable-suffering]

Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does. 

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao). 

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past,  and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden. 

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’. 

And he already gave him the coffee. 

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

[nedlittle]

it's that time of the year again! i read a whopping 135 books in 2024 and have collected the worst of the worst for your entertainment ft. homophobia, taylor swift, girlboss baba yaga, and mary shelley's nipples. i hope you enjoy these reviews to make up for the suffering i endured to write them.

a lethal lady by nekesa afia ⭐

A Lethal Lady exists in a series of nondescript beige rooms because there is no effort put into making them anything else. Your reader should not have to imagine scenery themselves because you cannot be bothered to craft any description apart from vague adjectives, which do nothing if they exist without context!

the good women of fudi by liu hong ⭐

It's like Liu Hong sat down and Googled "gay books" and read the first one that came up, then Googled "lesbian books" and did the exact same thing. And then she thought, What if I did that but worse?

the witch and the tsar by oleysa salnikova gilmore ⭐

We can't even have hags anymore. Because of woke. At least Marya Morevna is bisexual.

mary and the birth of frankenstein by anne eekhout (tr. laura watkinson) ⭐

If I were sent back to 1816, I could identify Mary Shelley by her nipples alone. I could pick her nipples out of a police lineup. Her nipples are going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Her nipples are more myself than my own.

a fatal crossing by tom hindle ⭐.25

The timeline spans five days but feels like five years. The chapters are relatively short, but the action is so repetitive that it becomes cyclical, dragging on like Hector's corpse around the walls of Troy.

five wives by joan thomas ⭐.25

The Governor General's Award is not a serious award, lmao. We have approximately five recognizable Canadian writers, so much of our publishing is just slop, so we have to reward everyone who can string two sentences together.

dear sylvia, love jane by erin hall ⭐.5

It's like oh wow queer found family! community! a spunky underdog protagonist! And then a woman is murdered off-page by her husband who is then iced on-page by the mob. And then we go back to found family.

late bloomer by mazey eddings ⭐.75

You could scroll gay Twitter for 30 minutes and have the same experience as reading this book.

the formidable miss cassidy by meihan boey ⭐⭐

The characters and dialogue were too twee for my tastes, and Miss Cassidy herself is Mary Poppins if she were a whimsigoth Tumblr witch.

maude horton's glorious revenge by lizzie pook ⭐⭐

The whole book lends itself to being read with only half of one's brain engaged; neither engaging nor forgettable, it's the sort of thing that vanishes entirely from your psyche the moment after you mark it as read.

[actuallyirradiated]

Something I’ve been thinking about is Beckett’s age. More specifically the ages given in Bloodlines VS the Victorian Trilogy. In the Victorian trilogy (specifically Madness of Priests, page 51) it says: "Beckett, who had seen a great deal in his one hundred and fifty years of undeath..." And in Bloodlines he says: "For three hundred years..."

And sorry for the math ahead lol, I’m treating the ages as exact bc it’s easier

The only given dates we have are 150 years of undeath in 1888 and 300 years of existing (kinda) in 2004. Going with the year 2004 for math reasons, some quick subtraction gives two dates: 1738 (for being 150 yrs old in 1888) and 1704 (for being 300 yrs old in 2004).

1738 (for being 150 years old in 1888), this is purely and plainly stated to be ABOUT how many years he’s been a vampire.

That means he's most likely been a vampire for ~266 years in 2004, and adding that convenient 30+ mortal years makes his “true” age at least 296 years old (also in 2004).

He's adding his mortal age, years of undeath, and rounding a little to get about 300 years in 2004. He also could be exactly 300 since it’s just an estimate too.

Ultimately, I'd say that 1738 is probably the most accurate date for his embrace! The “150 years of undeath” quote isn’t one I’ve seen on Tumblr yet so I thought I’d share it :)

I could be wrong, I haven’t rly double checked my math in a while. I have exactly 2 brain cells functioning rn lmao

[fizzbot]

1, 2 (you know who this is about), 3, 6, 7, 8, 16, 19, 23, 25 for the voiolence ask game :333

17 (Strinker), 23, 24 (Vox), and 25 (Stolas) for the other fandom ask game :333

YAYYYYYY I LOVE ANSWERING THINGS!!!!!!! :DDDDDD thanks babe ily!!!!!!!!! <33333333

violence ask game og post here!

1. the character everyone gets wrong i suffer from a disease called "im the only one with correct opinions about every character ever" so i kind of feel this way about everyone all the time HJKLSDFHJKL.......but maybe its just bc im so Him For Real, but i feel it a lot with blitzo????? i feel like hes the character where i see the most takes about him that i fundamentally disagree with. it doesnt help that his character writing is so shitty tho.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom I DO KNOW EXACTLY WHO ITS ABOUT. BLITZO. sjhkdfhjksdf kind of ties into the thing i said above and not EXACLTY what the question is asking but. that man is a SUB. i am being so so serious when i say that everyone who thinks he is/writes him as a dom and/or top doesnt understand him as a character. its partially bc stolitz's writing is so godawful, but like. its not even. subtext??? that this man is a sub/bottom??? its just text. its so obvious that they basically say it. YES he ACTS like a dom thats the FUCKING POINT. HES LYING. hes putting on an act and YOU ALL FELL FOR IT. this man is not emotionally vulnerable enough to let himself indulge in the side of kink/sex that he wants, so he never does. especially since stolas only wants him when hes acting like a top/dom. blitz rolls his eyes and drags his feet in sex because hes not getting anything out of it. again it doesnt help that he doesnt LIKE stolas but he would LIKE HIM MORE if they were on the same page in bed. AND LIKE??? the reason i say its not even subtext is because this is a preference blitz obviously has since SEASON ONE (see: STRIKER), but as stolitz develops romantically in canon, we can see stolas indulging him more. the only time blitz has EVER been aroused on screen is when stolas (and striker) is taking control. the one other time you could argue is at the end of truth seekers where AGAIN they practically STATE that hes not by showing that blitz is only acting this way in the bedroom for stolas. hsjkdfhjksdf if i keep talking about this im gonna start foaming at the mouth I HAVE TO MOVE ON

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr LMAO SJKDFLHJKSDFL there are too many. some of my (least) favorites include takes such as "stolas is introduced as a good father", "blitzker is more toxic than stolitz", and "husk is in the wrong during loser, baby". you are all so fucking stupid. i hope you get well soon

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? RADIOAPPLE. they are SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I HATE THEM. its one thing to have the worst shipping take ever but then theyre always the loudest and most un-based motherfuckers in the world. nothing quite makes me seethe with rage the way seeing that fuckass ship appear in EVERY TAG does. go on try it. look in any hellaverse tag right now and scroll 3 times. i guarantee radioapple will come up. i know because i HAVE THE TAG BLOCKED.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them? alastor :( i mean i knew it was coming. i LOVE LOVE LOVE our rewrite/""yarnsnake"" alastor so much but canon and ESPECIALLY fanon alastor is so fucking boring. they took out any intimidation from his character at all and made him just another guy who swears every 3 seconds and that only exists to be o.p and give cringey quips. and the fandom LOVES that for some reason?? as if the SHOW hasnt toned him down enough, all the fans either turn him into this weirdly sexualized dom character or this cutesy villain with a secret soft side and UUGHHHHJKSDFHJK SHUT THE FUCK UP. he would not fucking say that!!!!!!!!!

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about OOOHHH this is a good one. umm......kind of ties into the above answer, but i genuinely keep seeing people saying that they think alastor is gonna get a redemption arc/saying that he has a secret "good" side and loves the people at the hotel. yall. youre being manipulated HJKLSDFHJKLHJK. i see a lot of "lute was in love with adam" and vise versa too which. idk. its fine. im sure itll probably be canon. but im too obsessed with them being close friends with benefits that play cod together and otherwise have no attachments LMAOSHDJKFLHSDJKL. there are for sure more but im blanking, might revisit this later

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) ANOTHER REALLY GOOD ONE. stolitz instantly came to mind HJKSDLFHJKL just the whole ship. specifically the arc in the show. also huskerdust? not the ship itself but the characterization. its the same flavor of evil that stolitz is just without the power imbalance. vivzie wants sexual assault in all of her leading ships soooo badddd. i hate the fandom take (loosely based on canon) of husk being ""into it"" the whole time angel was harassing him. makes me fuckin GAG.

19. youre mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... STOLITZ BEING CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. omg critics usually HATTTTEEEE this shit!!!!!! and i totally see where theyre coming from. ""the circus"" was OBVIOUSLY just meant to humanize stolas/shift the ""blame"" onto blitz instead by making it seem like he initiated it/made stolas think he wanted this (which doesnt make it right but wtever). and the childhood friends (if you can even call them friends) IS so nothing......but im such a sucker for this trope. i actually think its really cute. IDKKKK i think it ties into how i genuinely think that stolitz couldve been good if they had lead with this. since he started off as a villain and had a very rocky transition into being """not a villain""" despite still being horrifically evil, the show is stuck in this weird place of trying to TELL us that stolas is good and worthy of redemption while SHOWING us that hes not. if he was a villain at the start, they shouldve stuck to their guns and kept him that way. if they wanted him and blitz to have a romance, then they shoudlnt have fucking started the show like this. its too late to go back and fix it and the circus is a very clear showing of them trying and failing to do so.....AND YET. i still think its sweet. it makes me yearn for a show where they remeet as adults and start reforming a FRIENDSHIP instead of a weird sex deal. it wouldve actually been cute and compelling to see them observe how the world has hardened and changed the other and finding out that they still love each other despite it. how they both were so deply hurt by the circumstances and yet still managed to grow in a way that left room for the other. AUGHHHHHH. << ripping my hair out

23. ship that youve unwillingly come around to sighhh. stolitz and huskerdust. <///////3 but ONLY our very specific rewrites of them. also honeymoon??? i was really NOT convinced about them at first just cause i didnt like bee but idk, ive changed my tune a little <3333 honestly ive kinda willingly come around for everyship JSDJHKF like chaggie/fallenstar??? CUTE. exceedingly boring in canon but cute.

25. common fandom complaint that youre sick of hearing i guess i dont really get that sick of fandom complaints......at least i cant think of many off the top of my head......this kind of goes for all fandoms but im very sick of hearing "UGH can everyone stop saying (insane take) 🙄" and the take is just something that no one has ever said. like one person has a sort of lukewarm opinion and 300+ people have to make a post bitching about it like its a real problem that exists. it doesnt. calm down.

fandom ask game og post here!

17. What's a book, movie, or show you think [Striker] would like? OOOHHHHH...........damn this is hard......i cant get into his head as easily as you (presumably) can.......shkdjfhjksdf he kinda strikes me as someone who would be a little snobby about literature tbh. he likes the classics <333 maybe especially classic horror <333 phantom of the opera came to mind which i think is fitting cause weve also established hes a musical theater guy <33333

23. Has your favorite character/ship changed over time? OH yea. i remember back in the Early Hazbin Days my fave was angel dust and my favorite ship was radiodust. i was thirteen so im gonna give myself a little slack here but i still shudder when i think about it JHKHSFJKHJK. now my fave hazbin character is probably vox or rosie <3 and my favorite ship is polyvees!!!! they are so evil polycule. to me. as for helluva, back in the day when i genuinely like the show it was only just starting out. i think my favorite character was robofizz? which is so funny now that ive got a user based on him JHKSDFHJKHJKSDF he is so nothing now </////3 i DID like stolitz but TO BE FAIR. that was in its crackship era. like when we were all like "imagine if they started getting serious about this LOL wouldnt that be hilarious". (it was not hilarious). now my favorite character is STRIKER by a MILEEEE. and my fave ship is blitzker/rewritten stolitz!! <333

24. What's your favorite thing about [Vox]? well. he gets Christian Borle points. we only hatewatched this show in the first place for His Voice. but i do also just really like his general little mannerisms :3 i like how he glitches when he gets flustered/overwhelmed, and how his smile raises and falls depending on who hes with/around. i actually think his body language is really interesting and fun to analyze!!! manipulative little shit. i hope he overheats and explodes

25. What's your least favourite thing [Stolas] said or did? where do i fucking start. there are so many things about this fucker i cant stand. the one that always comes to mind is the interaction at the beginning of LooLooLand. TWO things he says are SO YUCKY GROSS SLIMEY. these lines:

i hate that blitz had to ask. it makes me feel so gross. i know this was still stolas' villain era but it genuinely icks me out SO MUCH seeing how MISERABLE blitz is early on in their relationship. he is so desperate for this job that he would put up with being sexually assaulted/humiliated in public. im so sorry blitzy, one day soon youll find a cowboy who treats you right :///// the other one (from the same scene) that i HATTTEEE is this interaction with via he has right before

Stolas: I'll pay you.~

Blitzo: ...Pay me what?

Stolas: Money.~

WHY. WOULD YOU SAY THAT. TO YOUR UNDERAGE DAUGHTER. and hes so confused when she doesnt like him?? :/// this isnt even mentioning that he openly, sexually flirts with blitz in front of her both on the phone immediately afterwards and all day at the park. i think he should die for real actually. a few honorable mentions include the infamous murder family phone call, assaulting his imp butler, neglecting his daughter, and (intentionally or not) implying that he only wants blitz for sex post-ozzies.

Stolas: They want our money and our bodies.

Octavia: Our money, maybe...

Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess.

THAT TOOK SO LONG IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN READING ALL THESE THANKS FOR ASKINGGG :DDDDDDDDD MWMEMWEMWMEWMWEM <33333

[an-obsessed-cactus]

Ello ello ello!

honestly not sure yet what this page will be about(i do know i just don't want to admit to myself it'll be a random stream of consciousness à la James Joyce) but i thought I'd make a kind of introductory post about myself at least so here goes.(fandoms are listed at the bottom cuz at the heart of it tumblr is a place for obsessed freaks like myself). also I'm new to tumblr so its ways and etiquette are still unknown to me. but i will learn promise. anyway.

Name's Dorian/Bree(still deciding so take your pick and I'll see what sticks). I'm omnisexual aroace(went down the traditional pipeline surprise surprise) and go by she/her tho atm whole gender identity is kind of a mystery to me so that could change. edit: trying they/them rn to see how it feels

I'm finishing high school this year so my life'll be a bit hectic for a while(was for the last 4 years tbh). Cause I'm interested in one thing too many and can't make decisions to save my life and also cause I'm an anxious mess who can't relax, I'm taking a gap year. I'm planning on getting some rest to get back what remains of my mental health (which sadly ain't much but such is life). I'm gonna go travelling around a bit(rn pretty sure about Norway, UK, France & myb Japan) and honestly if I make any friends on here it'd be sick if someone joined me so that's always open.

Then next year, when I finish my soulsearching, I'll prolly go study sth cuz that's how the world works. I'd love to be either a writer or film director (or myb a therapist). My dream is to study film in UK(as a career writing and filmmaking is pretty much a tie, but filmmaking sounds just a tiny smidge more stable. Not giving up on writing in the least, but I feel like studying is more necessary for film than writing?) I love watching series and films not only because of the story, but because of the way it's told. I love to overanalyze the storytelling, the characters and different dynamics between them(and honestly just everything about the film) or read others' post overanalyzing it, so a film/series(does that exist?) critic sounds like an awesome job as well. But I'd like to be in the middle of the making and tell my own stories. Cinema's a bit sad in my country (non-existent more like) so studying abroad sounds like the only real option if I wanna make it in the industry. It's also an opportunity to meet more people interested in the stuff that I am so hopefully it works out. Fingers crossed 🤞🤞

Obviously, if one's obsessed with cinema, you can hardly avoid falling down the rabbit hole that are the fandoms. I'm currently fixated on Good Omens and would love to find some humans I can discuss it with cuz my irl friends(tho I love them with all my heart) just don't go temporary insane over fandoms the way I do.

I get random moments of revelation about other fandoms as well, so here's a list:

Good Omens

MCU(pls no spoilers post Wakanda Forever. I'm kinda runnin a bit late but I'll catch up I promise)

Sherlock

ATLA

MLB

Star Trek

TOH

Lucifer

Megamind

Umbrella Academy

BBC Merlin

Hannibal

Stranger things

Witcher

TVD(was my first real fandom so it still persists even tho I'm not really into it much anymore)

myb some more that I forgot

I'll prolly be adding stuff here as I figure out what I wanna talk about, but one of the things I'm working on is getting rid of perfectionism so this is it for now. I tried to keep it brief but that obviously hadn't worked out lmao. Could be worse(much, much worse)

[here2bbtstrash]

hey there<3 i'm sending this as an anonymous because there will be a lot of expressing emotions in here which i'm not used to doing.. so it's gonna be weird to me if i reread it again after you post it..🫶🏼

ahhh i don't know where to start honestly.. i've installed this app without knowing what's ahead of me.. especially getting to know new people, it was an unexpected thing. i thought i would be a silent reader, i've always been one.

the reason why i even installed tumblr is because i wanted to follow mimi - you probably know her. i had no idea how to use this app nor how this broken site works😭 but i never knew i would be so lucky💜

one day, i opened the app, and one of your works (a popular hobi fiction 👀) was at the top of the page. it had like 3k notes i guess? so i decided to read it and it was truly amazing<3 and that's where the journey began!!

and then i commented on one of your posts and then you were like: 'welcome', something like that. i mean you did welcome me and it was so nice of you!? that's when i knew that you're a very sweet person!<3 you gave a very good first impression 😏😊

i went ahead and took a look at your blog, everything about it. and when i knew that you identify yourself as queer, i smiled so hard😭 i mean i am straight, but something about queers hits different, i really genuinely love them. (and no please don't think i'm creepy 👀)

anyways, and that's when i decided to start reading your fictions!! i read 90% of them and if i started to talk about how good your writing is it would take hours to just describe the beauty of it. so let's just say it's perfect<3

your style of writing brings comfort to me, even if it's just porn. i really don't care if it's angsty, fluffy, smutty,... it just comforts me in a way that can't be described, at least by me because i suck at these things :')

you're the type of person who i wish i could meet one day<3 i didn't only read your fictions, i saw when you felt tired, unmotivated, sad, even confused in some asks and i wished i could hug you and make you smile. because i once was sad and you were there for me. i vented, and you listened.. you even said things to me that i will never ever forget in my whole life. i still look at them in my screenshots whenever i feel down and that one reason can truly show why i love you so much 💜

i still remember when you started the process of writing TSOYB, and then at some point you thought it was shit ☹️ but then it was drop day and i got to read a magnificently written fiction and it was obvious how much you had worked for it to turn out this way!! i was so proud of you (and i still am!💜) because you didn't fucking give up even when you felt it was trash. you trusted the process and i learnt a lesson from you. because i'm a perfectionist, so if i don't do something correctly at the first time, i start to think i'm literally useless and all of the overthinking shit starts again blah blah. so now whenever i even think to overthink 😭 i remember someone like you exists💜 i remember your words. you helped me em💜

ah i don't know what else to say.. there's still like too many emotions i wanna express but i just don't know how to do that.

god i just love you with all my heart, you don't even have an idea about my gratefulness towards you. and to god who gave me a chance to know such a wonderful person!!💜💜

like namjoon once said: "i wish there was a better word than 'love'. i really truly love you. please know that."

(and please please if there was any type of weirdness in this i'm so sorry it's 2:48! am!)

omg anon 🥺 this is so overwhelmingly sweet i don't even know how to respond!!!! i'm gonna stick it under a cut so this isn't a million years long hahaha 💜

i'm so glad you managed to find me - bless party on you for blowing up lmao 🙏 and glad you felt welcomed!! the more people that follow the harder it gets for me to keep up with everyone personally, but i do really try to make sure everyone feels welcome here 🥺 (except bigots 👹) - it's important to me to curate a safe chill space where we can all just read porn and have fun lmao!

LOL NOT QUEERS HIT DIFFERENT that's so fucking funny akhglksjrgsjfkg can confirm we do 😌

gahhhhh you're so kind about my writing thank you thank you 🫠 i think this is probably my favorite compliment to get, that people feel comforted by my work. it's brought me a lot of comfort to write and to establish this little blog, so the fact that i can share that with others is truly priceless!!

and omg 🥺 you got to see the process work in real-time!! that's so wild. i really do think i hit a bottom on pretty much every fic i write (sometimes i'm more vocal about it on tumblr, sometimes less) where i just feel like ugh, this sucks, it's never gonna be good, i should give up. and part of the writing process is just pushing through that - which is really hard for me because i am also a perfectionist!! but you're so right. sometimes you just have to trust the process and do whatever it is anyway, even when every word feels like a struggle!

this was such a sweet note to receive 😭 i'm sorry it took me so long to respond!! but i didn't want to half-ass a reply either since you took the time to share your thoughts and be so vulnerable. that really means the world to me! i love you a lot and i hope you're having a wonderful new year so far 💜 and i'm always here if you need me!!

[phoenixmosheh]

7/28/23

(Just in case you missed the first disclaimer)

Blog Disclaimer:

This is the true modern day story of what happened to the modern day Melchizedek (Children of God) in 2023 hi 🖐 . Let's see if it jogs the memory of people and bible scholars who worship their God. Can you hear Gods voice? We believe books of religion and faith such as Judaism, Hindu, Muhammad, Christianity and Buddhism all came from The Melchizedek Family Library of book genres. If this doesn't help try something more professional like The Phoenix Mosheh Linkedin page. (You hate our attitude?...well we are not like our brother Moses who split the red sea to free a bunch of slaves and abominations who later betray him because they did not know the difference between a lie and the truth. So sorry!

Everything on this blog and content by Phoenix Mosheh is FREE. DO NOT GET SCAMMED BY OUTSIDE SOURCES. ALL PRODUCTS SUCH AS THE Book by Phoenix Mosheh Have Been Discontinued. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Tumblr, LinkedIn & YouTube are the 3 platforms we have currently used to showcase our content. Phoenix Mosheh does not accept donations. Don't get scammed (catfished). Phoenix Mosheh is not going to jail or getting sued, just because you couldn't decipher between real and fake accounts. So just a heads up!

Sometimes Phoenix Mosheh is talking to specific people on this blog...think about when something is meant for you or someone else. 😭 maybe they deserved what is being said in this story mean or not 😇 .

If you are at least 18 years or older...you have the option of switching on your "mature" tumblr settings. If you do not turn on these settings you may miss some of the exposures of people who are praying you don't turn on your mature settings.

👇 You do realize by reporting readers on youtube (also found in our Godly Wives Reality TV show blog post) that you are causing them to awaken to the fact, that something fishy is going on (no shade Stephania)? They will eventually start asking questions like "why are they being reported now?"..causing them to look at other readers channels where the same story about you is being told... If needed Phoenix Mosheh can also use the so called "prophets" on youtube to get these messages across. As far as Phoenix Mosheh is concerned all publicity, is good publicity, even if it's coming from whorible (haha get it Stephania) enemies who hate us. Do you want to know why Samjaza (Satan) isn't answering your prayers and has abandoned you in the spirit? You are messy lacking in brain activity causing people to notice what he doesn't want them to notice. Thank you.

How do I know?

This blogs been reported several times prompting them to flag some blog post as mature. Which is why this blog post exist. Oh and I have no followers ...use your brain.

I told you to stay out of these readers comments idiots...lmao 😂

This is the true modern day story of what happened to the modern day Melchizedek (Children of God) in 2023 hi 🖐 . Let's see if it jogs the memory of people and bible scholars who worship their God. Can you hear Gods voice? We believe books of religion and faith such as Judaism, Hindu, Muhammad, Christianity and Buddhism all came from The Melchizedek Family Library of book genres. If this doesn't help try something more professional like The Phoenix Mosheh Linkedin page. (You hate our attitude?...well we are not like our brother Moses who split the red sea to free a bunch of slaves and abominations who later betray him because they did not know the difference between a lie and the truth. So sorry! Did they not teach you how to do your own research in school or something?

Do your research! And maybe there would not be people fighting wars for no reason because they believed a lie. (Pick up the phone and call them and help them believe in the truth...then maybe we can help.) Use code words like Phoenix Mosheh.

(Are you crazy! My grandma is not going to believe this! We know...example: We do have a Muslim younger boy who has seen this blog and his mother is unwell and this woman is all he has left. So he has tried to explain to this woman about our beliefs. Granted her trying to understand is an intention..and a good one.

How do you think God is going to give her an experience to understand that what we are saying is true. This is called witnessing... and witnesses manifest in their traits. When you manifest, you start to awaken to the truth about God. We are not saying its mandatory to take on our beliefs but we do believe if you have a government they are going to protect those people who believe what they do. You do not have to leave your belief system people. Free will. ) Hi, is she better? 🙂 Saudi Arabia. - From King Elias. (Keep it a secret (in your mind). This woman and her son both have a healing trait. (See what we think about modern day medicine on Linkedin).

There is a Jewish American girl who wants her brother back who has been enlisted into the war. He will come back due to an accidental discharge he will be paralyzed but have a miraculous recovery once he's back home. 😉Thanks for trying keep it a secret. (If you did your research, you know that God measures agr differently, you should also know if you have a brain little kids are not familiar with the word "accidental discharge" even I had to look that up... we are talking to young adults). 🙄

Jehovahs (Gods) Witnesses

Some of you consider yourselves to be "Jehovahs (Gods) Witnesses." If people study the background of what Jehovahs Witnesses represented you may think of the 12 disciples or students of Jesus Christ. I.e the Jehovahs witness did not believe in enlisting in other people's wars, especially if you could not live on their land without a dna test. They also didn't believe in celebrating pagan holidays probably because Jesus Christ revealed what those pagan holidays really meant. (Not all of this belief system we support, but we can definitely understand where the theology came from). (The Watchtower) Hi friends 🖐. Hispaniola!

The study of Necromancy and how people use it in secret to ruin your life.

👇 Phoenix Mosheh has put together a show/story to help you understand what the Melchizedek went through when they did not know that spellwork and witchcraft were a real practice by certain people. The Melchizedek share their story to teach others how not to fall into the same trap. We even have a surprise at the end for those who think they are too smart and good to fall into the same trap.

This story talks about freemasons, secret societies, secret covens who are two-faced, racist and con people out of their wealth, gifts from God and more, in order to support their own families and their lifestyles; in exchange many people being stolen from end up homeless not understanding what happend! (You don't have to read the story...we really don't care, but stop complaining "blabber mouth that" and mind your own business).

Don't come over here hating and mocking our work that we have accumulated from our experiences...and think you are just going to waltz on stage and start edifying your audience with lies. (Go ask God to have you go through an experience nobody wants to go through, that you yourself wouldn't survive...so you can hopefully have a story to tell...stop stealing)!

In this story we talk about how a witch went to someone worshiping an idol (offspring of Samjaza) to prevent two people (The Melchizedek Man and Woman) from coming into alignment and getting married. In this story, the Melchizedek woman is talking to people (witches, freemasons) who were watching this blog (in real time) to see what she would say, share or do. So that they could keep them from coming into alignment (marriage) with eachother as God intended.

The Melchizedek Woman was also communicating with her husband King Elias (The Melchizedek man) via this blog, in which she was trying to help understand why he was stagnated and under witchcraft. If you don't understand that huge freebie, we don't know what else to call you...(abomination category).

This story should help you figure out why God told Abraham to leave his family (wife (witch) and children that he thought were his but actually belonged to his brother while they leached off of Abraham's inheritance...meanwhile poor Sarai is his real wife in the land God wanted to show Abraham). Get it together people.

(Also...I don't think I still need to say this but not all freemasons are bad, if you look at how they are recruited and look into what they do many times people do not know they are being used behind the scenes just like...you know the 755k people at a certain church on the first page...).

Godly Wives Reality Blog (TV)

Game Intro:

Part 1:

Part 2:

(Private Godly Wives show coming soon with new readers)

End Game:

Overall Synopsis Video Below:

Because people have lives to live.

You may need subtitles for the video below (I love subtitles).

Tarot Reading/Entertainment Industry Disclaimer:

Phoenix Mosheh is not affiliated with any readers, music artist or the movie industry. Everything on this blog is used for learning purposes only im order to put together truths as a collective whole. Believe what and who you want at your own discretion...you have free will.

BLOG RULES: No cheating & No copying. OK? We care about your safety, until you give us a reason not to.

Physical Evidence Coming Soon: Phoenix Mosheh did not forget. However, your justice systems are just really slow at coming to conclusions and convicting actual criminals... which is why Phoenix Mosheh used energy readers (tarot readers) throughout this blog first to prove a point plus our enemies speak tarot better than English. These energy readers used throughout this blog have spiritual cia/fbi gifts/traits from God, any race of people can have them so chill... don't be jealous).

This Blog is full of surprises for our guest and made to enlighten and awaken your spiritual gifts as well...everyone is welcome to investigate this blog we are not trying to force any religious doctrine onto you, however Phoenix Mosheh believes being aware of what others believe in is always a smart move, just in case you run into an opponent or are invited to a Trivia party.

Look for Top Secret post like the one below throughout the blog and click for surprise logical arguments & theories. Remember DO NOT COPY OUR WORK ...Even if you think it's not patented or copyrighted it's still stealing. Use Your Brain.

Here we go again: Don't tell me you'll believe Eve ate an apple but not this blog. Stop it.

What time is it?

The Matrix Resurrections came out on 12:22

Hey that is code (biblical scripture) for The Woman and The Dragon in The Book of Revelation. Are the tribes doing their research or just sitting around listening to what people tell them, without doing proper research? There is scripture in your tampered with Bibles that says "Seek and you will find, not sit and you will find." Don't worry, it's not all false. Smile.

When God let's Humanity play "Are You the One?"

King Elias' real wife trying to understand the brain of his ex-polygamous bitter witch wife...

My favorite part in the Are You The One Réunion is when the host asked the guy "If you could choose one of these two women...which girl would you choose?" And the girl the guy chooses, low-key stops defending the other and becomes slightly flattered in knowing, she would have been chosen (analyzing facial mannerisms). Forgetting the experience they both just had where the guy had chosen both at one point and discarded both despite sexual intercourse or pretty privledge. Do you people have amnesia? It's not a compliment nor a competition. And the guy was right...it's not his fault you both keep getting played because you have false match amnesia 🍆 😝.

What really happened to Adam and Eve? (The untold true & modern day bible stories) ... Let's play some biblical catch up shall we?

If only both wives knew they should join forces with the knowledge they have obtained from both of their personal spiritual beliefs; all spiritual knowledge is an asset when going against a real opponent (Satan or The God of Spirits) even the study of demonology. Guys...riddle me this? How are you, supposed to extract a demon, if you know nothing about demons? How are you supposed to dodge your own backfired spellwork witches, if you know nothing about spiritual (biblical) history/law? Are these books going to attack you, if you open them? Do you have to become what you read or do you have free will? Instead of using spiritual knowledge to attack, judge and betray one another...maybe think of it as a significant page missing in the books given to you to keep you dumb.

But I agree with both parties....You are not holding my baby witch! And you are not coming in my home masquerading as a friendly bible toting guru whispering biblical exorcism in my child's ear pastor. You're all brainwashed, if you ask me (Did anyone ask? Lol)

Hi We Are The Melchizedek 🔥 (nobody cares you hoodlums)

How Elias overcame his Sex Addiction

Semen retention is the practice of avoiding ejaculation. You can do this by abstaining from sexual activity altogether, of course. Or you can learn how to orgasm without ejaculating. Although it may sound like some wild new fad, the practice is probably as old as humankind.

If you have learned anything from the modern day story of the Melchizedek ...it is that Elias ended up being tricked by a witch into marrying him over his actual wife from Heaven because he could not hear Gods voice.

If you can not hear Gods voice for yourself, you cannot hear God tell you not to put your seed in a witch or baby mamma who is unfit to be a mother or just someone you are now tied to paying child support for the rest of your life. Lol. 😉. Some of you are lucky and dodged a bullet.

God also believes in courtship, you are not supposed to spend all your life testing the waters with your seed...if you can hear Gods voice you are most likely guaranteed to not be wasting your time dating but investing into the person you are going to marry including preparing to have sex with whomever you are courting. It should not take your whole lifetime to figure that out.

God considers Elias and his wife (married already in Heaven, it was no different when they came on Earth). If you did the research you understand what we mean by this and think about who these books belonged to.

Self-Control - is vital. We do not believe that you should have no control over when you ejaculate (you are wasting seed and possibly accidentally spilling it into a woman you probably shouldn't have children with) . People should be able to orgasm without ejaculating, which would also help you last longer.

Another example:

if your wife is pregnant, and you plant your seed in your wife anyway...this will not produce another pregnancy...you are wasting seed (you lack control). You think orgasming and wasting seed is in the same category it is not. Being able to control when and where you plant your seed is natural contraception.

Women

Something women should think about how many eggs are you born with and how many children are you able to produce in a lifetime? At what age are you considered too old to reproduce? If God gave you so many eggs? Is it not weird for infertility to start at age 30 ish? Are you kidding? Why is it that around age 30 you are more likely to give birth to multiples? Why is it that you are more likely to give birth with Multiples earlier than if you were carrying a single baby? If you are preparing to have two babies, I don't think you should be going into labor sooner than if you were just having one. But at least you have modern day doctors to help you out. Thank you Modern Day Doctors (seriously, not a joke 🙂)

We are not saying, if you are married out of wedlock or having sex out of wedlock that you should feel like you have sinned. It's clear, The Melchizedek are not nuns. The reason we shared our intimate fantasys was because again, we were talking to a jealous witch that caused Elias to have erectile dysfunction; and his real wife was showing Elias she could heal that over a blog. Lmao. Just being honest. So yes, we do practice abstaining from sex, courtship and marriage, at very young ages and self-control. Try not freak out. (We do believe in you arranging your own marriage though...God can help you out but at the end of the day it's your choice).

https://youtu.be/6B8S1A8rD4Y?si=8ES8tiMwIl7lTl8T - Semen Retention Gives You Focus for Purpose - Gormeazy

https://youtu.be/UHyp8z2y8XA?si=WRY52Dx5o3UnTh61 - Connection vs. Chemistry - Jay Shetty ft Stephan Labossiere

What is your name? Based on the research you have done about the modern day story of the Melchizedek. How might the verse below still be vitally important for The Melchizedek today? (And honestly your own families as well).

New International Version

"But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live" Exodus 33:20

Clue: Social Media (Surveillance) , Selfies,

Remembering the good old days where they started you off with avatars ... so you wouldn't be suspicious when you graduated to profile pics...opinion I guess. For now blend in. I still have some social media profiles with profile pictures up. (Ask God (Omega) to show you what to do).

The 2nd Coming (Biblical) We Come In Peace = (Aliens). The Melchizedek (Peace) You definitely have Analytical Skills!!!🎉 😉

Well then...

There are TONS of research on this blog about our beliefs not yet claimed by artificial intelligence or google. You're welcome for spoon-feeding you all...try not to get fed up. No tip jars or collection plates are currently being passed around to fund the expenses of awakening you out of your delusional slumber.

Not a reader? Check out Phoenix Mosheh's YouTube Playlist to test your spiritual gifts and common sense.

Do you believe in Darwins Theory of Evolution? No, but I believe in Chaos Theory...(Anyone seen Jurassic Park DOMINION...how was it? I was too poor doing "free field work" to watch it. I did however, sleep on a bench outside a movie theatre once... hahahaha you just never know who you are surrounded by these days ).

How I Beat My Enemies (when you get beat by a homeless pariah (hobo).

You Should See Me in a Crown 👑 - Billie Eillish

https://youtu.be/iy1UzlJMHrI 🎶

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I just don't really watch much YouTube. I don't really like video formats. Or play many video games, so I'm only vaguely aware of FNAF in that. It exists.

I have a degree in writing and have been writing since I could put words together on paper. It's my one and only truest, dearest love. So...yeah, I do know a lot about it, because a huge part of my life is devoted to it and always has been.

Part One of YuuMori had a lot of mirrored scenes and mirrored characters and bookends and things repeated but in a twisted way. It's a very big theme of the series, and it's one that I'm generally very attracted to--that things are so similar but they cannot be identical, and using that to emphasize the small, minor changes. So I won't be surprised if we get something like that in part two, and I'll probably end up meta-ing about it, but I do also hope that it's not...too similar to part one, because I want to see new growth and new changes and not retread the same ground. Things are different after part one for all that many things are the same, and I really hope Miyoshi is going to build on that.

I just don't really watch much YouTube. I don't really like video formats. Or play many video games, so I'm only vaguely aware of FNAF in that. It exists.

I have a degree in writing and have been writing since I could put words together on paper. It's my one and only truest, dearest love. So...yeah, I do know a lot about it, because a huge part of my life is devoted to it and always has been.

Part One of YuuMori had a lot of mirrored scenes and mirrored characters and bookends and things repeated but in a twisted way. It's a very big theme of the series, and it's one that I'm generally very attracted to--that things are so similar but they cannot be identical, and using that to emphasize the small, minor changes. So I won't be surprised if we get something like that in part two, and I'll probably end up meta-ing about it, but I do also hope that it's not...too similar to part one, because I want to see new growth and new changes and not retread the same ground. Things are different after part one for all that many things are the same, and I really hope Miyoshi is going to build on that.

20 is definitely underestimating the age of many people in the YuuMori fandom on Tumblr, but historically there's been lots of teenagers here. For as strange and crossover to seinen as YuuMori is, it is a shonen series published in a magazine targeting the 16-21 age demographic. It's not weird to like a thing for teenagers as a teenager!

It just means people in their 30s like me have had more time to develop skills you might not have yet, like meta-ing and writing and analysis, etc. That's not a bad thing, it's just different!

I like The Birdcage although it's been quite a while since I last saw it. I do actually have a lot of media in my personal archive that I don't always talk about on Tumblr or Bsky lmao.

I dunno about "main" YuuMori blogger, but I have been a pretty good sized presence in this fandom for four years now and while I haven't looked at TVTropes in quite a long time (and I'm not going back), I had at least at one point written like 90% of YuuMori's page, and I was active on Twitter before I ditched twitter, too.

All of which is to say, weirdly, people I don't know know who I am, and that's kind of cool, and kind of weird and I'm not yet sure what to do with that information, but if/when I get published again, it'll happen a lot more, so really I need to adjust, I suppose.

And it's cool! I just wish people talked to me more lol.

in my eyes you're like the Yuumori Matpat that the fandom needs and deserves.

uhhhh.. random question because I dont just wanna leave the ask with only a semi-funny sentence:

What do you think would be the most clever and well written route to take in pt2 of Yuumori? Not most possible, but the route you think would be the most interesting.

I...I had to look up who MatPat was, and it looks like he's a Youtuber....? I've never heard of anything he's done or him so I'm not entirely sure what his vibe is so I dunno how to take this, honestly. Um, I think it's a compliment....?

Anyway, I don't think I have an answer to what would be the cleverest and most well written story for YuuMori Part Two. There's basically...four spectra to analyze a piece of fiction on:

Whether or not the writing/other artistic choices were more or less effective at telling the story the creators wanted to tell (I have currently no idea what story Miyoshi wants to tell with part two)

Whether or not the writing/other artistic choices were more or less effective at telling the story the piece of art is actually telling (which is...often not a perfect overlap with part on and sometimes is a venn diagram with a very tiny intersection).

What the hell story are all these artistic choices even telling? (You need to do this before you can do 2., but not necessarily 1.)

Whether or not the artistic choices and/or story the media is telling is one I like.

1 can be kind of tricky to tell if you don't know the authors, but it's also often possible to tell what story the author was trying to tell, more or less, from the artistic choices and if something seems wildly out of place or really not working well--they're still there for a reason, but they might have been an attempt that jived with 1. but not 2.

From what I can tell from the story, and from what little I know of Miyoshi and Takeuchi and their attempts at YuuMori part one, I think they got across the story they were trying to tell very well, and were extremely effective at telling the story they were telling. I also really, really liked the story they were telling.

But fundamentally, 4 is not a craft issue and it's entirely independent of how well written or clever a piece of media is. And how well written and clever a piece of media is depends entirely on whether or not the various choices made actually effectively tell the story it's trying to tell.

I tend to be relatively good, but far from perfect, at guessing what YuuMori is going to do at least on a thematic level. But the details are where I skew the most, because Miyoshi is telling YuuMori's story in a way I wouldn't have.

And that's what makes it so much fun. I get to learn from someone who is very good at what they do and very much not like myself.

So I'm happy to not know or guess and dissect things once I have something to dissect.

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 197]

Since I’m on my names kick, I’m giving myself this panel as a treat. This is the best panel in all of Bleach, my favorite panel. I mean, it really is just a good panel in general, but I **ADORE** the Viz version of this panel because of how incredibly deeply “Captain Toushirou” makes absolutely no sense at all. RENJI WOULD NEVER. I love it so much.

It’s funny because like, it seems like the easiest thing to do would be to simply translate the names exactly as they exist on the original page, but they do not, choices were made, this was a choice. And like, as far as the Viz naming conventions go, I feel like maybe they were trying to simplify things? Because this series has like 900 characters with complicated names, and then their swords have names, and their shikai and bankai have names, which is a lot of names. So I could see why they might want to streamline all that.

But this notion is undercut by the sheer lack of consistency to this madness. The names have never been more confusing, because two panels after this Hitsugaya is back to being Captain Hitsugaya lmao. BUT CAPTAIN TOUSHIROU. Title + given name??? What is this???

It’s also just funny to me because like... okay. I realize that you have to turn in your Regular Person card if you’re on Tumblr, much less Bleach fandom on Tumblr in 2022. We are beyond help. But I, at least, feel like we’re perfectly mutually intelligible, even as we’re all at liberty to refer to all of the characters by whichever name we want, and use whichever translations we want? Maybe they’re Vizard, or Vaizard, or Visored. Spiritual pressure or reiatsu, zanpakutou or zanpaku-to. Cero or DOOM BLAST (okay, no one calls it that. BUT WE COULD, AND WE’D BE BETTER FOR IT). Harribel, Halibel. Hitsugaya or Toushirou or Toushiro or Toshiro or Tōshirō. Vice Captain or Assistant Captain or adjutant or lieutenant. It doesn’t really matter what differences there might be between our personal preferences because we all get it anyway, and the (failed) attempt to simplify any of this is effort wasted on us.

Besides, if you’re a Regular Person reading Bleach, it’s not like you’d bother remembering any of the names. Oh look, it’s Ichigo, Rukia, and that Hat Guy! Heck, for the entirety of my high school stint with Bleach I called him Hat Guy, and I knew Urahara’s name. 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 304: The Council of OFA

Previously on BnHA: Hawks and Best Jeanist were all, “what up Todofam, we are here to apply for the positions of ‘son #4’ and ‘weird uncle’, respectively,” and then proceeded to insert themselves into the family drama without waiting for an answer. Hawks briefed Endeavor on the nation’s current status of “totally fucked”, promised to help him sort that out, and then asked him about OFA. Endeavor was all, “oh do you mean One For All, the mysterious thing that my intern Deku was apparently being targeted for?” and then we cut away, presumably before Endeavor could clarify that it never occurred to him to follow up on that, and Hawks was all “no of course not, why would it occur to anyone other than me to follow up on any of this super weird and ominously important shit.” Anyway so meanwhile Bakugou was all “LET ME SCREAM AT DEKU UNTIL HE WAKES UP” and the other kids were all “NO”, and then the chapter ended with All Might being all “I wonder what the vestige!me is currently chatting with Deku about.”

Today on BnHA: Deku drops in on the Vestiges, who are all “sup Deku, how do you like our fancy chairs.” OFA II and III are all “if you need us we’ll just be standing here silently in the corner pretending to be invisible and sparking endless discourse with our mere existence.” OFA IV is all “and now I will explain to you in a very convoluted way that you being quirkless was actually a good thing, since it means that you are probably not going to suddenly drop dead at the age of twenty. But also you’re probably going to be the last user of OFA for that very same reason.” Deku is all “that is wild. I’m just gonna stand here and stare at my hand.” Nana is all “so now that that’s settled could you please do me a small favor and kill my grandson for me”, because having just one topic to discourse about this week WASN’T ENOUGH, apparently. Thanks so much Horikoshi.

(ETA: okay so just a note before I start, this week’s RHA translation was a huge mess, so I followed up this chapter by reading a couple of other translations. the main one I’m using for reference is the one by @hanashimas​, whose weekly posts I highly recommend. anyway so you’ll see a couple of ETAs in this post in places where the initial translation was off.)

how many layers of bandages did they wrap this poor kid’s fucking hand in omg

jesus Deku. are you holding onto a bouquet of flowers under that thing?? or a tennis racket??

omg yes, finally

is he reading these names off a teleprompter lol. and if so, what has Jeanist ever done to slight you, Deku? “god bless Kacchan and Aizawa-sensei and Todoroki-kun and everyone else in the whole wide world... except for Best Jeanist. fuck that guy.” actually this joke would be funnier if half of tumblr didn’t legit feel that way lol but anyway

OH MY GOD

I NEED TO HAVE A TALK TOO. ABOUT, OH, EVERYTHING

I got immediate KHR vibes from ALL OF THIS. this is seriously such a Vongola aesthetic. “let’s use the luxuriously cushioned chairs with the seat backs that are ten feet high, and arrange all of the handsome ghost people in a big circle” like come on

that said there are also some slight LoTR vibes as well. “bring forth the ring, Deku”

I like how Six is sitting there with his feet drawn up all casual, but with his arms inexplicably sticking STRAIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF HIM and dangling over his knees like he’s doing some sort of zombie walk

apparently the Fourth wasn’t a big fan of shoes huh

interesting that All Might is the only one who’s still faint/indistinct, and and that Two and Three are fully visible

(ETA: the rest of my speculation about Two and Three has been moved into a separate post, the better to focus on the shit that’s actually happening in this chapter lol.)

and lastly, interesting that all of them are talking now, except for All Might (and I guess the Second and Third as well). to the best of my knowledge Deku hasn’t unlocked the Sixth’s quirk yet, so I guess the quirks don’t really have anything to do with it

oh and it looks like Deku’s mouth is still covered. I guess that’s convenient for the vestiges since we all know it’s hard to stop Deku once he gets going. but on the other hand it’s very inconvenient for people like me who wanted to see some interaction. alas

so First says that OFA’s power has grown a lot in the last four months (i.e. since Deku unlocked Blackwhip), and now the vestiges can communicate with each other as well as Deku

so even when Deku’s not around they can all just chill with each other. this is such a weird thing to me lol. like it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also strange as hell to know that you’ve got eight other people hanging out in your head spying on everything you do and having conversations with each other about it. it would be like if Dark Shadow had someone to hang out with other than Tokoyami. good thing you weren’t triplets, Tokoyami

First says that it’s become easier for the vestiges to interact with Deku ever since TomurAFO barged into the OFA Domain back at Jakku. huh

(ETA: apparently this is because AFO forcibly pulled out OFA’s power when he was trying to steal the quirk, so I guess that makes sense.)

okay thank you Banjou for addressing this concern which I initially brought up as a joke, but which was apparently real enough for you to reassure Deku about

“don’t worry, even though we’re awake and hanging out inside of you at all times, we’re definitely not secretly watching and making fun of every single thing you do” hmmmmm

(ETA: “not that you could do anything about it even if we were, since you’re probably going to be the last OFA holder ever!” I don’t trust anything this asshole says lmao.)

OH SHIT??

YESSS DEKU now you can hold them accountable for all of their bullshit! because I do not doubt that there will be bullshit lol but let’s see how that goes

oh damn

well okay then. you didn’t have to stand up and walk over to him and loom all threateningly like that but okay sir

this guy has kind of a Kimimaro vibe to him. remember? that bone-growing guy from Naruto? except I’m pretty sure he had eyebrows. and wasn’t twenty feet tall. speaking of which, that explains the chairs

why are you wearing only 3/5ths of a shirt

lol what

someone’s gonna have to explain this to me. is he just redundant or something lol, or is he strangely poetical or what

(ETA: apparently HE’S MAKING A PUN omg. I immediately gained +10 love for him lol. also it flows a lot better in Japanese. this is one of the things Caleb is usually good at, so we’ll see what he does with the wordplay.)

omg the hermit theory is true!!

“I’M NOT WEIRD, IT’S SOCIETY WHICH IS WEIRD.” lol whatever you say buddy. also love how Banjou tried to give him a big hearty slap on the back but Hermit Boy was not having it lmao

IS HE TRYING TO CAPTURE HIM WITH BLACKWHIP

AND ACTUALLY, NO, SIR, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE ARE NOT AWARE. SO SPILL!!

?!!?

okay my first response was LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT’S THE BIG SECRET!? -- and then it hit me what the significance of “died from old age... AT AGE FORTY” meant. at which point it was like “!!!!!” and then “OH, SHIT”

(ETA: there’s also an Iida joke here somewhere but I’m just too tired to make it.)

oh my god oh my god

did he somehow get a copy of the coroner’s report or something? like how does he even know that he died from “old age” as opposed to any number of other natural causes? ??

but anyway. so this is the quirk singularity coming into play then I guess. but then how come All Might is still alive and ticking?

(ETA: so this is one example of where this week’s translation is a mess lol. apparently the Fourth explains here that he didn’t know what the fuck he died from until All Might researched it. and it turns out there actually was an autopsy lol so there you go.)

so Fourth says he held OFA for eighteen years, and since he knew he would never be strong enough to defeat AFO on his own he basically just spent all his time punching rocks in the woods and training to power the quirk up

oh shit

is he implying that his body literally fell apart?? like that’s how he got the scars on his face? -- IS THAT WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO TOMURA, THEN. oh shit

DUDE

so you’re telling me that this quirk actively shortens the lifespan of anyone who uses it?? and my little boy here has had it now for a year already?? fuck me, I have immediately have a TON of thoughts about all this but let me save it until he’s done with his explanation

THANK YOU, DEKU

right?? how come All Might didn’t die then. even after he got injured. please don’t tell me he actually is dying still and is just being slow about it because I SWEAR TO GOD

what does this mean??

so what you’re trying to say is you all have NO FUCKING IDEA how long Deku’s gonna be able to hold this quirk before he SUDDENLY DROPS DEAD?! five generations ago this dude was able to hold it for eighteen years, and then four generations later All Might was able to hold it for thirty-odd years or so, and now Deku has it and you all have no clue which way it’s gonna go? actually this makes it sound like it really wasn’t OFA that killed the Fourth at all and you guys are just really bad at forming hypotheses. but since you’re making a big plot point out of it I guess it must be true

and don’t think I didn’t notice the part where you said you didn’t have OFA very long and then “died while fighting”, Firsto. I want to hear more about that. specifically who you passed the quirk onto before your death

and yes, if we are agreeing that OFA was the cause of the Fourth’s death, then the conclusion on this next page is the natural one to draw

so that’s a bit of a relief then, because Deku is quirkless too. so it means he won’t be able to hold OFA forever (and will probably have to find another quirkless person to pass it on to), but at least he won’t be randomly dying out of the blue next Tuesday or something

oh my god now he’s talking about OFA and AFO and user consciousnesses and all sorts of good theory stuff but it’s so much exposition. you’re really gonna make me read all this lol

wait what. why would All Might being quirkless have anything to do with the presence of his vestige in OFA Outer Space Party Land

but Deku is also quirkless and he’s clearly visible and chatting with you guys. so what gives. like how much of this is verified fact and how much of it is you guys just shrugging and making stuff up lol

SERIOUSLY, GUYS

BUT DEKU IS ALSO -- you know what, never mind sob. none of this shit makes any sense but whatever

(ETA: seriously, this all seems like an awful lot of speculation on their part. for Deku’s sake I sure hope they’re right.)

FSSKDJFLSKLKJLKJL ALL MIGHT IS FIFTY-FIVE?!

lol that’s a full ten years past my closest estimate, wow. but this pretty much confirms his age now at last! or at least confirms it within a couple of years, because we know All Might and Nana met when he was in middle school, and he presumably had the quirk by the time he took the U.A. entrance exam. so yeah. gonna go with fifty-five

so they think that because All Might was quirkless, OFA was better able to adapt to his body and became his true quirk, as opposed to being an extra quirk that stacked on top of the one he already had and overwhelmed him. ties in back to the whole “AFO used to bend people to his will by forcing quirks on them” thing, as well as the “Noumus are all mindless because of the strain of having multiple quirks”

Two and Three are really ruining the serious vibe of this scene here lol

they look like they’re doing the counting for hide and seek

and is this Deku talking now? I was about to get mad at First for implying that quirkless people are somehow freaks, as opposed to “normal” people jdslk

so in other words, don’t go giving it to your best friend all casually for shits and giggles, Deku. even if it would make a really cool climax for a movie. well shit. maybe that’s why they were so quick to nope back into Deku’s body afterward

so First says that because quirkless people are becoming rarer and rarer, the fact that All Might just happened to stumble upon Deku is “nothing short of a miracle.” which, yeah, that was definitely a stroke of luck there. being quirkless saved his life. but being quirkless is also part of why he was chosen in the first place, and we’ve always known that much

“in other words, kiddo...”

looks like there was some hurried clone stamp usage going on here lol. but props to RHA as always for putting this scan out so fast, especially given how exposition-heavy this week’s chapter has been

“anyways, that was the main topic” ARE YOU SERIOUS. there are like ten other topics imma need you all to get to here, people

(ETA: seems like this is a mistranslation; the line should actually read something more along the lines of “and now for the main topic.”)

FFFFFFFFF

“ENJOY YOUR CLIFFHANGER THIS WEEK.” dskfalkjlkjwlgkjl you really went and dumped this discourse on us yet again. fucking...

(ETA: forgot to mention, but as several people mentioned, this seems to be another mistranslation -- rather than asking Deku to kill Tomura as though it’s doing her a personal favor, Nana is asking “will you be able to do it.” in other words more of an “are you capable of doing it” type of thing. which is a very reasonable question to ask given that Deku is, well, Deku.)

anyways, and the answer is obviously going to be “no” of course. this isn’t going to end any differently than when the previous Avatars all told Aang to kill Ozai. but I guess it means we’re in for a fun conversation next week

so Nana looks pretty grim here though (nothing at all like the person who once taught All Might the importance of saving people with a smile), and I’m wondering if this means she believes that her grandson is already beyond saving. as in killing him would be a mercy, as opposed to him continuing to live with AFO bending his mind and body to his will. except if that is the case, I think she’s underestimating Tomura’s own will. and definitely underestimating Deku’s will to save

and also, just... I’m so fucking sick of AFO screwing the Shimura family over, honestly. this is exactly what he wanted. well fuck you, guy. you don’t get to have what you want. go out there and save Tomura, Deku. for his sake and for Nana’s. give them some hope. do your thing, boy. can’t wait for your big speech all about it next chapter lol

[aerltarg]

1, 3, 7, 14, 19 + asoiaf 👀 (go off queen 🔥)

1. What OTPs in your fandom do you just not get?

oh boi where to begin 😭

ok i really don't understand what's up w shipping your absolute fave w someone you don't like or straight up hate. bonus points if canonically these characters are not just indifferent to each other but hate the type like the other / is very dismissive towards the other. so you can't even get the love/hate spice from there lmfao, it's literally so bland and sad 😭 also the amount of twisting both characters need to endure to make this at least seem to work out!! what's the point even if in the end of such “ship” you get basically ocs w the names of canon characters?

and what's the point in such “shipping” if you only use the other one (literally the half of said pairing) to prop up your fave? does it really bring ppl joy to turn the whole fucking well-written character into someone else's accessory? relationship goals?? especially in cases when you just know they just have an agenda and want to hide another case of mischaracterizing of certain character.

literally who these ppl are lying to 😭 the funniest shit is that i can get the aggressive hetero shippers more than the ones who hide behind their faux activism shield. the first ones are at least not as hypocritical lmao

there also are some personal pet peeves of mine like smth from the kind of torturer x victim. tho funnily enough enjoyers of such problematic stuff more oft than not are actually very aware of this and are very chill. so while i don't ship this myself i am very cool w their shippers and don't feel any need to wage a holy war on them or smth lol. the same can't be said abt the certain crackshippers who feel the need to drag through dirt any possible “rival” to their *cough*very crack and very straight*cough* otp to “prove” the ~canonicity~ of the said ship. so in the end of the day i think the attitude of real ppl towards other real ppl matter more. i might not ship many things in this fandom and not get maybe as many but i am honestly so okay w them until they are self-aware and stay in their lane.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

in the fandom like this one? jfc of course 😭💀 it was mostly in the beginning though, now i know better and just don't hit follow button until i'm really, like 100% sure it's worth it lol. this fandom is the best in giving the trust issues i'm afraid

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

i used to be a total stark stan and then a martell stan lmao 💀 yes, i confess my sins. back in these dark days when i was young and delusional i enjoyed stark/martell supremacy iirc. what i think of this now? embarrassing 😭 i mean i still have enough warm feelings for canon starks and martells, i've just become extremely allergic to the ~northern independence~ and ~revenge power fantasies~ and all this stuff. bless their unhinged fanbases for scaring me off so fast w their anti dany sentiments (whom i've always dearly loved) and f&b for turning me into complete targ stan lol

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

the distinction between two sides is truly hilarious. there are many different subfandoms ofc but generally it boils down to having certain opinions abt certain characters, the main ones and the ones fandom made more relevant than they canonically are. and these opinions are really so, SO opposite that's it's just killing me 😭 how can two ppl look at the same page and see two completely opposite things? when one person is like 97% right and the other is SO TOTALLY WRONG ZERO READING COMPREHENSION DETECTED LMFAO

imho, meta culture has done unrepairable damage there. you realize this when you see some random ppl using quotes from mf fanfiction as canon proof in a discussion abt canon having NO IDEA it's literally non-existent in the books. yeah, bc they had read somewhere on quora or reddit or tumblr some “analysis” and never once fact checked. you also realize this when you see some total, like absolutely ridiculous crack posted as serious (or in some really lost causes “almost canon”) “theory” and taken as such by other ppl simply bc it looked like a serious essay. ppl buy into this confident tone and quotes in between (but still don't check these quotes even if they don't remember them in canon since they're so blissfully naive abt the certain parts of the fandom that absolutely and shamelessly can change canon quotes just to spread their agenda lol), ppl see bnfs blogs getting asks abt even tiniest details and these bnfs answering oh so confident as if they were grrm himself abt smth that can't even be taken as analysis simply bc of the lack of canon material on the issue. they step on the territory of pure fanon and headcanons but never change the tone and some ppl take this bullshit for granted without blinking.

so yeah my unpopular opinion. for such serious, interesting and complex book series, asoiaf fandom is fucking dumb and deranged and, unfortunately, many really smart ppl have left leaving us w this lot that refuses to use their own brains and that prefers to read some biased “metas” online than actual books and the hypocrites who boost their egos in this dead fandom, freaking out every time anyone tries to challenge them.

special cry out for those who still make this fandom bearable aka content creators whose gifs, edits, arts, metas (i mean real honest metas, not whatever bullshit clown colleges are eager to reblog lmao). despite being paid dust from local pretentious bitches, who forget who is the real customer there all the time, you are still w us and thank you so much for keeping this fandom alive!!! once you leave we will have only satansas' hallucinations posed as smth canon related and unfunny lame jokes 😭

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

hypocrisy and double standards. they're literally everywhere lmfao, can't even count. also some really weird shit like harassing real life pocs over headcanons abt fanon pocs lolol, but that's a whole another conversation lmao. but most of all i hate the lack of basic human decency. some ppl there can doxx, gaslight, lie, go running like cockroaches caught in 4k doing this all but never once apologize to the ppl they harassed and lied abt and still be cool for some fandom places while others will be automatically cancelled for shipping the wrong ship or stanning the wrong character. bc apparently for asoiaf fandom opinions on fiction matter more than the treatment of very fucking real human beings 🤡 how glad am i for seeing which ppl have their priorities straight istg

play with me in the salty ask game!

[sinnhelmingr]

MY FINDINGS ON THE LIFTED BAN:

posting tibby/nsfw alone in its own post: not visible on dash, visible on blog.

removing tibby/nsfw from a solo post: tumblr allows it on the dash, can detect out the gate now ig!

posting nsfw/tibby in a reblog: works like a charm. tumblr is still scared of booby cooties ig

my interest: piqued.

y’all know i’m not even someone who does nsfw all that much -- even when on discord it makes up the smallest amount of rps i have done in my entire career -- but i never understood the censorship for ads/investors when tumblr had a good community of users/traffic for such. i’m interested in how... idk sleek? the new nsfw bots or whatever they use feel. i think blocking this stuff from og posts/keeping it off posts that could go into a tag while still allowing it to be expressed in reblogs/to a core blog-by-blog audience could be the first step in the right direction, or at least meeting the users and investors in the middle. little billy can no longer stumble upon porn in larger tags, but billy can choose to ignore signs warning him about incoming nsfw and thus absolve tumblr of any puritanical bullshit.

edit: LMAO NEVER MIND AS I MADE THIS POST GOING ‘WOW IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE IT FLAGS ANYMORE’ IT FLAGGED MY REBLOG. LMAO NEVER MIND SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY. LITTLE BILLY’S PARENTS SHOULD BE MONITORING THEIR DAMN CHILD INSTEAD OF FORCING ME A GROWN ADULT MAKING CONTENT FOR OTHER GROWN ADULTS TO THINK OF THE NON-EXISTENT CHILDREN THAT VISIT MY PAGE.

[paranormal-romantic]

Hiya, this will probably be a throwaway post as I’m not planning on linking this in the directory but I have a few story ideas I wanna at least flesh out into existence before I forget them haha

So for story idea 1 it would be a reader insert/isekai since it would take place in the Legend of Zelda Universe- more specifically whenever Breath of the Wild takes place. So the story is basically the reader being dropped into BOTW to guide Link to the castle to defeat Ganon -yada yada except that you attempt to bring courage to the once courageous silent knight as he’s now terrified out of his mind about all this sealing darkness junk. As the games story goes you will visit each champions homeland, solve shrine puzzles, and now will also have more than just one companion as the descendants of said champions join along on your journey. That’s all I’ve really got so far because Sidon has my heart istg- oh and as for the Rito descendant (I can’t remember his name and I know they’re not all related but just go with it for the moment) with those that are already married he wouldn’t be included in what will become a sort of reverse harem because I don’t want to encourage cheating or anything of the sort! Though if & when I write this I may write him to be single lol.

That’s all I’ve got for that story thus far but if and when I write said story I’m not sure if I want Link to obtain the champions abilities, have the reader obtain them instead, split the abilities with Link, or better yet maybe the descendants could obtain them rather than the reader or Link. Anywho- moving in to the next story idea!

So for the next idea- this legit just popped into my head so it’s a very rough idea but it would be adorable if I were to write this out I think! So the story would be about a girl (or for tumblr sake/my own a reader insert) who stumbles on something she probably shouldn’t have as she sees a big foot- long story short it’s a meet cute(?) on a girl finding a Sasquatch/bigfoot that isn’t how they tend to be described. In this story I’d go into detail about how other mythical creatures such as fairies, gnomes, witches, etc. also live in the world without being found out by humans. Despite MC being human- bf decides to befriend said human and eventually this devolves into a cute little romance that eventually will overcome different obstacles that any mystical creature in love with a human would have to eventually face. Again- would probably be a very cute story that didn’t have a really clear ending and would eventually have a small happy ending that I’d later down the line consider either drawing or possibly publishing (saying this as if I know how lmao).

Finally- I’d like to apologize for being so inactive on this page- though I’m sure not many miss me I will try to be more active now that I finished my summer classes!! And for future note- if I’m ever inactive it’s probably because I’m either busy or lazy in all honesty. If I did worry anyone though- I do apologize. When I’ve slept and make it back home (at moms at the moment) I’ll probably write a small idea that I have for the UDDUP(?) story- sort of b-plot that has me in its clutches.

Currently is 3:35 a.m. so with all this said I bid whomever you are adieu and hope you enjoy the show :)

[illfoandillfie]

hi! it’s me the questioning anon again!

please if you ever get uncomfortable with these in your inbox or you’d rather answer them in dms, whatever please tell me 🤎

i guess i have another question: did you instantly feel comfortable with your label and feel like “oh that’s it”. because i also identify as bi and as you said that was easy for me. i heard about and was like oh that’s me.

but now that i’m considering if i might be asexual or aromantic or maybe both? i don’t feel comfortable with that label.

i’m unsure if it just takes more time or if i’m just sad because i don’t “fit in” in that way and that’s what makes me uncomfortable.

like always feel free to answer with whatever you want to 🤎

hi darling!

i definitely did not feel instantly comfortable.

I originally read about aromanticism on tumblr and was like ' some of that super sounds like me but i cant be aro lmao' but like it was enough to make me keep thinking about it even after i dismissed the idea. i used to get home from work and google 'aromantic' and pick one of the sites and read through things like i was trying to prove that it didn't fit me for XYZ y'know. I was constantly on the look out for a quiz that could confirm that I couldn't be aro for whatever reason. But of course a quiz can't tell you who you are (and all the ones i found wanted to know about previous romantic relationships of which i had none so they were super unhelpful anyway).

It took me at least a few months if not the better part of a year to sort of accept i was aspec. When i did i played around with a few different labels - greyro/lithro/demiro - but im personally not super big on microlables and i still felt really uncertain about where exactly i would fit, if at all, so i adopted questioning for a bit because it's so unspecific and then after a little while i switched to aro because it could be used as like a blanket term for basically the whole aro spectrum.

And it's similar with figuring out if I'm ace or not. Like I'm p sure i would probably be somewhere on the ace spectrum but i know some of my issues with sex come from other things like my anxiety but i don't know enough to work out which parts are which if that makes sense. So while i probably could call myself ace or at least ace-spec, I don't feel super comfortable doing so.

The thing is that while people have come up with all sorts of ways to name their experiences with romantic or sexual attraction, it is a spectrum and you're going to experience them differently to other people, even those at a similar part of the spectrum. So working out where you fit within these labels people have created to describe themselves can be tricky and uncomfortable and hard to think about.

But like I've said before, take your time and see what happens. Use whatever words feel best for you and change them as much as you want. If you feel comfortable with it you could also lurk around some aro/ace spaces (like tags on this site or youtube channels or forum pages), you don't have to interact with anyone but maybe reading what other a-spec people have to say would help you understand what you're feeling. And if you decide that neither ace nor aro are terms that fit, that is totally okay too! You might be bisexual and biromantic but feel sex/romance repulsed sometimes. sometimes people just don't enjoy those things even if they technically feel the attraction. sometimes there are traumas or events in someone's past that make it hard for them to be in romantic/sexual situations. there's a lot of different ways people exist on this spectrum and it can definitely take a while to feel comfortable with it or even just to work out what is effecting how you feel.

[selfcarecap]

okay so if Its okay i would like to take upon your offer about coming to your page and rant. i don’t talk to someone about this because its absolut absurd. So if you dont answer this, thats absolutely okay too, i guess im just glad i can get it off my chest. wird ne mischung aus deutsch und englisch haha, i hope thats okay. so recently im very angry about myself because my jealousy is increasing a LOT. like im so so happy for tom that he found a lovely girlfriend and that hes in love. but it kinda makes me sad/jealous because i see him as a comfort person (idk ob das der richtige begriff dafür ist aber Maybe you know what i mean) und obwohl ich weiß das die Chancen bei 0,0000 liegen das ich ihn überhaupt mal sehen oder treffen würd, it feels like losing him and i think thats the most ridiculous thing i have ever thought and felt in my live. same with the sweepstake, i spent (für mich verhältnismäßig) lot of money and even bought tickets for the livestream. und ich gönne es absolut denen die gewonnen haben but at first i was furious that i didnt win. idk whats wrong with me, i dont wanna be so jealous over things that are literally impossible to reach (like meeting him). and it fcking annoys me that i am feeling like and i absolutely dont wanna feel like this. i just just feel bad because i wanna be truly happy for him and his relationship because he looks so happy too….

- dont feel obligated to answer this, but thanks for letting me rant ❤️

i get youuuuuuuuu😭😭😭 jealousy is an ugly emotion but we all feel it at some point(s)!! it’s good and important to recognise that what you’re feeling is jealousy because when people don’t want to admit to themselves that they’re jealous, that’s when things get ugly and they start putting other people down to feel better even though it does nothing to help with their issues. so imo acceptance is the first and maybe even most important step!!! you should let yourself feel jealous because trying to push it away will only make it worse.

i get that jealousy is so shitty and you don’t like feeling it, i’ve been dealing with some jealousy too lately (not bc of tom but something else) and i hate it so so so much like ich könnte Stunden lang darüber reden wie scheisse sich diese Emotion anfühlt omgggg. but yeah i haven’t figured out how to deal with it either ahdkskw not entirely at least idk but trying to push it away is only going to make it worse, i know that for sure.

and also this sounds obvious but maybe just spend less time looking at tom + z content? even if it’s just a bit less, i’m not saying you can’t watch any interviews anymore but yeah distancing yourself and giving yourself a break kann nicht schaden i’d say?

alsooo for me when i’m jealous bc of shit on the internet, i try to really be more present in the real world? like while i’m at uni or out with friends and even after i really try to internalise those moments and try to realise okay this is the real world, this is what matters. celebrities might be real people too okay wkdjsjw but if i’m not on my phone then they’re just strangers to me and they don’t exist. or for me even if i’m just watching a film or something i’m usually on my phone at the same time (well depends on the film) and i’d try to avoid that too to truly distract yourself and get away from the internet, maybe even delete tumblr for a few days but at the same time i think coming back can be even more overwhelming.

idk if this helped but i’ve been feeling similarly lately so yeah those are just my thoughts lmao, feel free to add more if you wanna talk about it <3