#at least i'm being myself and having fun lol
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We Could Leave The Christmas Lights Up Til January - S.R x reader
I am typing this authors note and feeling like the friend who's like "ITS CHRISTMAS" from the like. middle of the month forward when I'm actually the friend who reminds you how close it is to christmas or the new year bc I don't want to face that knowledge by myself and suffer well with others.
This was written as a through-the-years style fic. It'll have fifteen chapters which will correspond with the og fifteen seasons of criminal minds (I have not watched seasons sixteen or seventeen, please do not judge me lol) and three scenes per chapter, one set in November, one set on or around Christmas, and the last set at some point after it. The reader is also a fiber artist but if stuff relating to that comes up, I will make a note of whichever terms I need to.
Fic type - this is largely fluff!
Warnings - the reader in this has a slightly similar, but also somewhat dramatized version of my family dynamics bc I wrote this whenever the knit projects I was working on frustrated me and when writing the dynamics it just HAPPENED, but then I edited it so that the dynamics wouldn't hit SUPER HARD if I ever reread it. Otherwise, booze is mentioned a bit, and there is swearing present bc I apparently am incapable of writing a fic without dropping an f'bomb.
When you leave the office that night, it's half-past seven on a Friday in November. You and the rest of the team have the weekend off, and while Penelope and the others had gone out for drinks, you'd gotten back from a case in Miami that morning and had said no to the offer when she'd made it.
You had really just wanted to get home, if you were being honest. You told her you couldn't swing it because of plans already made with someone else, but Garcia didn't need to know that those plans were a glass of wine, Loops 'N Threads Classic Cotton and a crochet hook to work up some dishcloths in lieu of anything too expensive for your aunts christmas gift, or that the someone else you had plans with was your DVR so that you could catch up on the five episodes of Prison Break you'd missed because of the way that cases and work had been piling up.
She also didn't need to know that the wine your mother had given you would have a spot, or that after you were caught up with Prison Break you'd probably order and eat your way through an entire pizza from Antonios while watching a documentary about lemon sharks. Your Friday nights were your own, and even though you adored everyone on the team, you would seldom give up your Friday night ritual of doing a craft while watching whichever cable TV you needed to catch up on or whichever one the network of your choice had been running a marathon of, even if giving it up meant giving up dinner, drinks, and laughter amongst yourself and the rest of the team.
So, as you and Spencer are heading out—Spencer had declined Penelopes offer but hadn't specified his reasons as to why—he looks at you with a knowing sort of smile.
"Crocheting and Antonios?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow.
You nod once, lips pursing just a little while you mentally ready yourself for any oncoming judgement. "Mhm," you nod. "I have a bottle of red I wanna drink, so it'll be a tipsy crocheting night, I think."
"That sounds fun," he says. "Enjoy it."
"What're your plans for the night?" You ask. You've been with the team since six months after Spencer had joined up. You'd joined, under Hotch's wing, at the age of nineteen where Spencer had joined up under Gideons when he was twenty.
He shrugs. "I was thinking about calling my mom, seeing how she's doing," he says. "I try to call her at least once every so often and I do my best to write, but—it's just—"
"Maintaining those kinds of relationships isn't that easy," you nod. "I mean—my parents just live in my hometown so the circumstances are different, but I get it, even if it's to a lesser degree."
You don't really talk to your parents, and they don't really talk to you, and it's been that way since you went to the FBI Academy when you were eighteen. You came to DC after being hired by the BAU and they stayed in Maine, and things have been like that in the five years since you left the state.
"Your mom came around recently, right?"
You nod. "She was in town for a bit, but she came down while we were working on a case so I only got to see her a few times before she was heading back to Maine." She'd come up at the start of October, while you were working a case out of state, and she'd left six days after you'd returned from the case. In that time, you'd seen her at breakfast, lunch and dinner on three separate days. She'd left you the wine as a gift because she hated red and needed to pass it off, but you loved red wine so it was fine.
"Was it a good visit?"
"It was—well—it was fine," you laugh.
"That's the nicest way to put it?"
"Calling it fine is me being stellar," you laugh again. "Being kind, being gratiuitous, even. It was less than fine, but it could've been worse, and other visits of hers have been by miles."
Your relationship with your mother has been somewhat contentious since you were a teen, but she comes down once every few months and unless a case or something better comes up, you usually try to book Christmas off to spend it with your parents and sisters in Maine. This year, a bigger part of you than not is hoping that Christmas is disrupted by a case somewhere completely out of Maines reach, like Nevada or California or even the likes of Alaska, which has got to be some snowy hellstorm in the wintertime, though you can't say.
"You gonna go down for Christmas?" Spencer asks, laughing a little. He knows some of what your relationships with your family are like—knows that you and your mother have a difficult time finding common ground, knows that you and your father don't get along but have found some weird little middleground where you can exist without screaming at each other. He knows that you and your older sister are sort of friendly but only really mildly close, and that you and your other older sister don't talk often and see each other even less than the sparing conversations you have throughout the year—and he always looks at you kind of pitifully when your mother gets brought into the conversation, but there's been less and less pity as the years have passed, more sympathy.
"I don't want to," you laugh. "I really, really hope we get a case in Nevada or somewhere that even my mother wouldn't be able to justify asking me to drive down to Maine from. Like—I'd love it if we got a case in Alaska the day before Christmas Eve, honestly. I know it's not gonna happen, but—Christmas with them, my aunt, and my uncle? No. I can't subject myself to that without a whole lot of booze."
Spencer laughs, shakes his head a little bit. "You'll be fine," he says. "I won't hope that a case comes up at Christmas, but if one does, I'll buy you a victory tea."
"Why?"
"Because I know you love your family—you're hardwired to love them—but you hate Christmas with them, and I don't really like the thought of you being where you don't want to be because of family ties and guilt."
You laugh. "If it gets too dreary, promise you'll answer my call?"
"Yeah," Spencer nods. "Of course, but what if I call you first?"
"I will answer so quick," you laugh again, shrugging. "Seriously. Whether it's you or Hotch, I will take literally any excuse I can get to slip out from whichever room I'm in to the back porch just so I can talk to someone who isn't my aunt for a few minutes."
"Looking forward to that," Spencer says.
You smile, turning away as you do to hide it. It feels like an awesome ending to a mediocre day and you're grateful for that.
-
When your phone rings at five o'clock something along the lines of five weeks later, it's Christmas Eve. You've spent the last couple of hours alternating between cheap screw top rose and a jack and coke, occasionally swapping both options out for a hot chocolate that you spike with kahlua and a splash of baileys, and when your phone rings, the sound of it is a welcome reprieve.
You tuck a mug of boozed up hot cocoa into your right hand, answering the phone with your left as you dismiss yourself out to the back porch, standing amidst snow that's, by that point, a couple days old. A fresh coat is due to fall any day now, but by the time it does you'll probably already be back in DC.
"Hey," you greet. "How's Christmas on your end?"
"It's good," Spencer answers. "How is it on yours?"
"It's amazing."
"You've been drinking?"
"Jack Daniels, cheap rose, and the occasional spiked hot chocolate," you laugh a little. "It's making everyone more tolerable."
"Thats good," Spencer says. "Don't forget to drink water, though. It'll make you less hungover tomorrow morning."
"Yeah," you nod. "I've drank plenty of water—hangover headaches are fuckin' awful, and I don't feel like dealing with that tomorrow morning. A headache on top of dealing with my aunt? I couldn't put myself through that kind of torture."
"How've things been with you and your mom?"
"So far I haven't done anything to piss her off yet, which is surprising," you laugh. "Normally she's leaping down my throat the second I do something like use a tone that she thinks is amiss or defend my dad where she doesn't agree with him. I'll say something stupid and she'll yell at me before midnight though, I'm sure."
"Try to be a little optimistic," Spencer says. "I mean—just—take it easy. Don't do anything too nuts, okay? I know you well enough to know you have Prison Break on one of the DVRs in that house, and I also know that you know your own limits. Don't push yourself past them."
"I won't," you say. You know yourself well enough to know that you're probably lying, but you brought your needles and a skein of yarn so worst case you can just knit and keep your mouth shut, hopefully not miscounting any of your stitches in your drunken state. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I get in around ten on boxing day too, so—coffee?"
"Coffee," Spencer says. "Merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Merry Christmas, Spencer," you respond, hanging up the phone thereafter. You stay outside for another few minutes, drinking your hot chocolate, watching the sky and prolonging the time between then and your next interactions with your relatives.
Eventually, when you go back in, you're met with a sly look from your aunt and a suspicious look in your mothers eyes, while your father and uncle chat about current events and your sisters are busy in a game of Uno.
"You got a boyfriend?" Your aunt asks, her smile cheeky.
You grimace. "No!" You say, beelining for the kitchen and the bottle of Barefoot brand zinfandel. "No—it's—it isn't like that. A friend had planned to call and I didn't say no."
"Oooh, a friend," your mother teases. "That's quite vague, Y/N."
You nod, finishing the last sip of hot chocolate in your mug and rinsing it out, setting it in your favored corner of the kitchen counter and reaching for the wine glass you'd left in that same area.
"Intentionally so," you laugh. "You two are so nosy. I love you both to bits and pieces, but—it's not anything like what you're thinking. The friend is a coworker."
You reach for the bottle of zinfandel and pour an amount that just barely skirts the edge of avoiding being obscene, putting the cap back on and leaving it on the counter along with the rest of the alcoholic companions that will reside on the countertop until at some point tomorrow, when the drinks are switched out from booze and beer to soda and water.
"You two will be an item in five years, I guarantee it," your aunt says. "Seriously. You don't be vague about someone with your family unless there are feelings there, Y/N."
You laugh a little more, taking a sip of your wine and debating rummaging through the fridge to find the brownies that you'd hidden in the back of the fridge for when the drunken cravings kicked in.
"I've been vague with you people about women coworkers," you retort. "I've been vague about mentors who are older than Dad. I'm vague about lots of things."
"You should open up," your uncle says. "Nobody likes a closed off little snowflake who wants to appear mysterious."
"Trust is earned," the older of your two sisters retorts. "You have to trust people to want to open up to them."
"Do you not trust us?" Your mother asks, looking at you with pain in her eyes.
Not like I did when I was a kid, you think. "I do! I just—work life and family life are two separate things to me. If I were as open as you guys want me to be, telling you work stories and funny office anecdotes, you'd all want to hear less about my job."
"Being an FBI agent can't be that hard," your uncle retorts.
"You say that as a man who's never watched someone you love like a sibling get shot at," you retort. "You've never seen someones body missing parts, or seen someone who narrowly evaded a serial killer shaking with grief and with survivors guilt already starting to manifest. I love you all, but not one of you understands what it's like, and I wouldn't wish you did across a thousand lifetimes."
Nobody knows what to say, but the look in your eldest sisters eyes is clear—she's proud.
"Well maybe you should work in a different area," your aunt says.
"I wouldn't trade my job or my coworkers for anything," you respond. "The plus sides make up for the drawbacks tenfold."
Things go a little quiet after that, and you eventually grab the bottle of Zinfandel and retreat back out to the back porch, not caring how cold it is.
You stare at the sky for ages, drinking your way through the entire bottle of zinfandel as you do. You're half asleep when your phone rings again, and you pick it up as you make back inside, figuring the rest of your family had gone to bed as well.
"Hey," Spencer greets. "Just calling to check in again."
"Hi," you respond. "Everyone else has gone to sleep, I think—nobody is in the kitchen or the living room, and if I don't hit the hay I'll be dead on my feet tomorrow morning."
"Do you have any sports drinks around?" Spencer asks. "The elctrolytes in them will help replenish the potassium and the salt that you lose after a lot of drinking. Bouillion soup also serves the same purpose, and water is basically universally known as the one thing you should consistently drink between alcoholic beverages."
"My mother gets a twelve pack of the fruit punch Gatorade, puts it in the fridge and normally will make the drunkest of us chug a bottle before we conk out, so I'm gonna grab one and then chug it and head to bed. Thank you for calling to check in, Spencer. It means a lot."
You head for the fridge and keep to your word, opening it and grabbing one of the gatorades.
"It's no problem," Spencer says. "I've know you—how long now?"
"Four entire years," you laugh, closing the fridge and pressing your forehead against the metal door of the freezer on top of it. "Oh, God. Four years of working at the BAU. That is a surefire way to make me feel old."
"How old do you think you'll feel when you've been working there for a decade?"
"Absolutely, positively, ancient," you say. "Oh my God—thirty three? That is not an age I can picture. Asking me to picture that while I'm drunk feels like such a low blow, Reid."
"How about twenty-eight?"
"I'm starting to think you just like the sound of my voice," you retort, laughing a little as you compose yourself just enough to turn your phone onto speaker and set it on the counter. You lean against the counter and take the screw top off of your gatorade, sighing a little. "Are you asking me if I have a five year plan, Dr. Reid?"
"Yeah," he says. "Yes is the answer to both your statement and your question."
"Well, in five years, I'll be twenty-eight," you start. "I'd like it very much if I were still on the team, and if I am, that means nine years at the BAU. I'm going to get better at knitting and finally stop knitting things for people who don't offer to buy the yarn or otherwise compensate, I think. I make things free for ungrateful people too often. Maybe even adopt a kitten or take in a shelter dog. Fuck—Reid, I can't really even decide what I'm going to do in the next five minutes, let alone the next five years."
You chug the gatorade as you think about it—a bigger apartment would be nice, one that's closer to work would be nicer still. One with a good view of the city, maybe a library or a liquor store within walking distance, if not a Michaels or a Joanns.
You've always been more of a cat person but you have a ridiculously insurmountable softspot for greyhounds and pitbulls, so if you thought you could take in an animal in the coming years, you would have the knowledge and the background to give them a good home.
You'd maybe want to change up your hair color, if the drunken opportunity presented itself. A change in appearance feels like the sort of thing a person finds necessary at the age of twenty four, in the last year before the brain fully develops and stuff starts changing bit by bit.
"I think I'll still be on the team," Spencer says. "I know it. I love what we get to do everyday, Y/N. Helping people? Saving lives? We do good. We're good people."
"What else do you think about the next five years?" You ask, your voice quiet.
"I think I'll still be living in my same apartment, and that I'll still bicker and get into prank wars with Morgan," Spencer says. "I think I'll still play chess against Gideon on the jet home, and I'll still love to learn anything I can. I know for sure I'm still going to be trying to get you to watch Dr. Who with me, though I hope you agree to watch it after five years of attempts at cajoling you to."
You laugh, and the air takes on a somber kind of tone. "Maybe," you say. "Not likely, but maybe, Reid. Look—I'm going to go to bed so that I can just deal with tomorrows probable hangover head on, but thank you for calling me not once, but twice tonight. I really needed some company that wasn't a little bit of an asshole."
"Yeah, of course," Spencer says. "I—well—merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Spencer," is how you bid him adieu, hanging up the phone thereafter. You throw the gatorade bottle into the recycling and head off to the room you'd claimed, turning the tv onto a low volume and falling asleep with The Muppet Christmas Carol beginning to play in the background.
-
"How was everyones Christmas?" Garcia asks, practically buzzing with excitement as she comes out into the bullpen. Spencer is leaning against your desk, the two of you talking about nothing in particular when she comes around, and Garcia looks at you with a happy grin. "How was Maine?"
"It was Maine," you shrug. "Snowed. A lot. In turn, everyone in my family drank. A lot."
"Oh," Garcia shakes her head. "Too many people and too much booze is God awful."
You shrug. "My parents, my sisters, and my aunt and my uncle hardly felt like too many," you say. "And the amount of booze in which I indulged hardly felt like too much."
"You had a lot," Spencer retorts, looking at you skeptically. "I got a text Christmas morning, if memory serves—"
"A text to thank you for being so nice," You fire back, cutting him off. "Totally not asking you for hangover cures. I would never."
Spencer shakes his head, laughing slightly. You grin, taking a sip of the tea he'd brought you that morning.
"Yeah," he says. "I didn't get a text asking for the ultimate hangover cure-all. I guess I must've remembered it wrong."
Your grin widens, and you nod. "Guess so. How were things with your Mom?"
"They were great," Spencer says. "I had a good time."
"I'm glad," you respond. "Your mother sounds pleasant."
"She is," Spencer nods. "I'd hate to spend more than an hour with yours though."
"She's comin' here in June," you fire back, leaning back in your chair as your grin morphs from grin to smirk. "Be careful for the next six months, Reid, or I'll invite you to dinner with her, myself, and my father."
"That sounds like some form of mideval torture," Derek fires, laughing. Spencer shakes his head.
"Not if Y/Ns there," he murmurs. You take another sip of your tea to avoid seeming flustered to the rest of the team, and Spencer sighs when JJ comes around. You sit up in your chair, already anticipating her next words.
"We have a case," she says. "A series of deaths in Witchita. Briefing room in ten!"
You and Spencer exchange a look. There are only a few days left of it, but it looks like the last of 2005 is due to be a whirlwind.
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Occasionally a girl has to write a fic that she doesn't know how it will end for sure it's really just based off of vibes but what then?? What next?? Do I keep going or end it here?? Who even knows at this point
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you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
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Crash mutuals. N sane trilogy was $15 the other day so I am finally going to be playing it. :)
#ik it's not the True experience but the remakes were also how I played spyro and I really enjoyed that (even if I haven't started 3 yet)#tbh this was Not a great use of money I really should've used it to buy food or soap lol since I'm pretty low on both#but I think I can have a little treat since I'm at least working temp rn (though admittedly that is NOT enough to cover my living expenses)#(rent is due tomorrow and once I pay that I'm OUT of backup money)#lol. teehee :3#(<- nightmare world)#distracting myself with viddy game bc even poor people deserve recreation (<- thing I need to drill into my fucking head)#hey @myself: noooo buyers guilt rn okay?#(feeling double bad bc I've been wanting to make a dono post and now it's like. you spent $15 you didn't need to. you can't ask for money.)#(but whatever. it's okay.)#sorry for being really negative in the tags this was supposed to be a fun silly post#crash mutuals we are doing this -> 🤝#learning my roots (series the main antօn.blαst devs were inspired by / love to death)#roz posts
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I'm almost finished with this notebook with it's horrible paper, and I just finished the first page of my Big Project
#Oh yeah - it's all coming together#Hgggg I am so sick of this notebook! It's wack as fuck!#It has made editing a Chore for the past eight months >:0 Not fun or meditative At All#Even worse is that the paper feels good to draw on but the cleanup is just! Awful!#I've just been completely ignoring my non-lined homemade notebook because it feels bad to draw on lol#The rest of the doodles for this year - yes that's how far the queue is backlogged rn lol - are still on that paper#But at least I'm like ><this close to being done with it ugh#I've got two blank pages and then like three half-doodled on pages that I'm planning to just knock out#It looks so weird 'cause the pages are all out of order lol - the first page was in March and the last in November#But like the next page after the first is /also/ November lol#Like it's largely in chronological order but it jumps around quite a lot! It was an interesting experiment#I also think it's funny since the first page got some fandom stuff that didn't come back around until now but it Looks chronological lol#I think I'll do it again but with some modifications - if I run out of steam/interest/motivation then I can fill it in however I want#Keeping it on-theme is fun but I find myself pushing ideas when I don't actually have any :P That's no good#It's not Always bad - I like quite a few of my spacefiller ideas! But if anything that just proves that finishing things out to make room-#Well like I said it was fun lol#And! As stated! I finished the first page of my big behind-the-scenes project! >:3c#Man I haven't worked on a comic proper-like in uhhhhh#It's gotta be at least five years lol geez#It's been a weird rhythm to try to fall into lol I'm Way out of practice - but it's nice to see it come together!#Lotta steps to get it into the shape I want - hard to sustain - but slowly and surely I've got this one :)#It'll be good to finally have it Out haha
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It's amazing how much I ruined my own life lol
#I can't get a job. despite having so much promise and literally like 3 offers right out of college#I fucked myself over I don't have enough experience and have to start from the beginning wherever I go#soiled an unreal opportunity. from high pay to minimum wage#creativity and social and meaningful to... just being the extension of an inanimate object#scanner. sign pointing to where the bathrooms are. ride service#it will have been 3 years since I graduated. 4 until I'm 30. and I have literally nothing. I'm not even having fun with the ride.#I hadn't felt like that since before I got involved in the place I left lol#wish I could just kill myself. at least people would pay attention for a couple minutes#and maybe feel a little bad before forgetting again#babbles
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soooo insane how depression actually affects the way i talk/speak/my speech patterns/etc like not only have i lost motivation to even talk to myself and it's rotting my brain away but i also forgot how to talk to others entirely because it has become. exhausting for me. awesome
#i wanna cry HAHA.#the other day i was thinking about how i never had a good relationship with myself but at least i. used to like#take care of myself a little more by talking to myselc more and singing too . i put it in my to do list to sing more again#cause at this point i will do anything just to feel ok like i dropped so many things because i felt ashamed for being there for myself?#like i don't kbow how to describe it but i stopped doing all these things because i felt i didn't deserve to do things like that. to have#fun and to practice self love .. LOL . and now i can't even talk to peoole anymore because i also distsnced myself from making connections#for like YEARS and it has only gotten harder for me now . and it worries me#because why does everyone have it so easy when it comes to connecting with others even though they're also mentally ill in similar ways as#me. but i have an unbelievably hard time with connecting witv others#and the thing is i don't even know where to start ... with. you know. healing myself#it's all tooo much. so i do nothing and try to just survive through these days . i feel so. weird#maybe i jzst have to wait. but what if it stays like this forever . i'm scared#i wish i had more close friends it has always been like something i wanted but i just csn't. have . because of my mental state . sigh
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ok idk what the fuck is up with me today but I'm feeling really shitty so im gnna just spout some random shit here
what i dislike about my girl friends
have to explain football to them every time i watch
they're all stupid and i have to help them study
can't play basketball with them cuz they suck and are all short (same with volleyball)
they make me listen to their shitty songs lol
none of them can cook so whenever they come over i have to make food for them
i can't understand when they talk about girl shit
what i like about my girl friends
im faster than them
smarter than them
cooler than them
i don't have to match with them when they match clothes
when we go to a hot place they have to wear bras and i can be shirtless
they don't like when i smoke which is annoying but its nice of them i guess
they make me feel tall
what i dislike about my dude friends
taller than me
stronger than me
always call me a femboy
call me slurs
homophobic
racist
what i like about my dude friends
they're hot as fuck
#why am i gay it's honestly painful#being in love with men who'd hate me if they knew who i was#haha kinda like how i felt about my father#he's the reason i started smoking#i guess in a fucked up way i wanna be like him#i don't know why but i started smoking after he died#my only memory of him was where he had a cig#i was a toddler#how fun#i fuckin hate that sisterfucker#im getting off track#but#i am currently in love with a man who'd rather kill himself than attempt to pretend to reciprocate#i wish he was more annoying or more homophobic or SOMETHING#but i have a feeling that even if he was I'd still do this#I'm not worthy of love that has a chance#i guess ill just become a hermit#at one point i was sick of myself and the only person who messaged me was a bot#serves me right huh#ok#i wish i had someone to talk to but no one would understand#i guess that's why I'm doing this? i feel stupid#i feel like i think like chicks#maybe i am trans#i don't know#i just wish i could be normal.#because at least then it'd be expected for me to love him#yea ok ill just continue ranting for hours into my note to self#jeez that sounded so pathetic#sorry lol
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Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot
Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜
The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be.
"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again.
Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in...
He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this.
"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again.
"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower.
Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.
Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home.
I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me.
"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time.
"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut.
I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me.
"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that.
"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand.
"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes.
"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage.
"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire.
I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.
I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself.
I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...
After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.
I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already.
Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here.
I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them.
"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels.
"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed.
"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon.
"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.
"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure.
I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him.
He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads.
"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none.
"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer.
He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me.
"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips.
"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in.
It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light.
He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down.
I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.
"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.
He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.
The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment.
"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to the valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth making them wet. He places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth on the one in front of him.
Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit.
"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.
My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time.
"Someone's eager" he says against my lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin.
"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough.
I need more.
"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier.
He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations.
"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops.
"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his.
"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry.
"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one.
"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.
"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress.
"Jungkook please, please" I beg, my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight.
I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone.
He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.
"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact, making everything seem even more intense.
Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out.
I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now.
"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time.
After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. “I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up.
"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said.
I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state.
After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already.
"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that.
"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny.
"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just that it’s not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.
I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear.
"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.
"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right.
"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about.
"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked.
"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.
"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight.
My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.
Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no use.
He leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I’m granted with that same chuckle again.
"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back.
"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me material to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size.
"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him.
I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...
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1/3 Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you?
this is inaccurate no one perceives me
#hardly if at all#and if it is then that’s limited to... very specific people? i feel like the friends i consider closest#are the ones who have the least differentiation in perception#given of course they still have their own outside pov of me. i think i’d go insane if talking to people was like being in my own head 24/7#i guess that means i have a hard time considering anyone close but i can’t exactly blame other people when im the one affecting my attitude#or rather not even affecting but just... exaggerating#every time someone’s like ‘oh lol you seem so chill about everything’ i’m like ‘thanks i’m constantly so tired i want to cry’#or ‘i wish i had your confidence’ and im in my mind going ‘bitch what. bitch what. sorry could you say that again. that makes no fucking se#‘you’re so loud and crazy’ the camera cuts to me standing in a grocery store dead inside fending off madness as california girls plays#i mean i joke but it’s genuinely bizarre to me how 15 years of repressing rage turned into being fun at parties#if it makes people like me then like ? ? sure i’m flattered but god i just wanna fucking Lie Down. the turmoil of the unexpressed#i don’t even talk to people the same way i talk to myself it takes me kicking and clawing to get out my natural syntax if ever i can#hell i couldn’t even write THIS ask in it#(and i’m not sure what others opinions on me are but my vibe internally is just not all lowercase. like at all)#feel like most people i meet are like oh zach is this wacky dude!! and i'm like YEAH you're not wrong but#*insert the hAEUEGEHH inhale from the 'i lie to myself' skit*#least i’m pretty sure everyone has moments like those these days. the vibe is in shambles but we’re all a lil bit in shambles together#on this funked up planet earth there’s a ‘the rot consumes us all’ shrugging stock emoji in every one of us
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LORE | REKINDLED EPISODE 54 - BETWEEN YOU AND ME
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phew Episode 54 is finally here! I know it was only delayed by a week, but I swear it feels like it's been an eternity.
This episode was admittedly... really hard to get through. Not for any outstanding reason, just due to a lot of sudden IRL stuff that sort of piled up on my plate at the last minute and caught up to me. I feel bad for not doing more to avoid that plate from spilling over which resulted in this episode being delayed another week but I've been trying not to beat myself up for it too much. Thank you all so much for your patience and kind words while I worked through this hurdle. The good news is, I have an appointment booked this month for an ADHD assessment, so if all goes well, I'll hopefully be able to get on some medication soon to help manage the ADHD-side of my ND brain. It's been very unmanageable this past month and has led to a lot of careless mistakes and subsequent stress, anxiety, and depression that's been making it harder for me to have fun doing what I do, so I'm hoping things will go well on that front and at the very least take the edge off a little.
Anyways, that's enough personal dumping from me but I figured I owe y'all at least an update of how things are going on my end. Thank you so much for reading and for your patience through the delay <3 And of course, a huge thank you as always to @banshriek for being my creative other half in this project. As hard as it turned out to be to get through an otherwise very simple episode, it would have been even harder still to do it alone and so having them in my corner has been an absolute blessing to help carry the weight of it all and hold me accountable to boot. Now that the work is done, it feels great to see it finished, and has one of my favorite panel redraws that I've been looking forward to for ages in it (the scene of Persephone sitting on the rooftop!)
now ima go treat myself to some shitty bar food and play the rest of Dawntrail LOL
#lore rekindled#lore rekindled update#lore olympus rewrite#lore olympus redraw#lore olympus au#lore olympus critical#lo critical#anti lore olympus
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the one where Y/n and Lando used to hookup and then fell out... or did they?
lowkey inspired by the interview where Oscar talks about spending time with his gf and Lando goes "awww" cus it got my brain making up scenarios
yourusername Maybe I was too much but you could've been more and we both know it
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yourfriend1 Situationship survivor 💔
username1 Ah, she's posting half naked pics means they're done
yourfriend2 Girl I didn't cry that much over a 3 years long relationship
↳yourusername I'm not crying lmao
yourfriend2 We need to go on a girls trip
yourfriend1 I second this!!
username2 Lando's loss tbh
username3 Not Carlos nonchalantly in the likes 👀
↳username4 I can't believe he would take Lando's leftovers
username5 You two can chill, Y/n and Carlos have been friends, they're not gonna end it because of a failed situationship
username3 Exactly! Maybe they'll become something more...
username5 Carlos is Lando's best friend, he wouldn't do it to him
username3 I mean it's not like Y/n was his gf or anything, they were just hooking up
username5 Yeah maybe also say it was her fault she caught feelings after he did all the things mentioned on the 2nd pic
username6 How could he not wanna make it official with HER?
↳username4 He's rich and famous, he can have 10 girls like her if he wanted to
username7 It makes me feel better about being in a situationship myself knowing Y/n also went through it
↳yourusername Girl it's a sign to leave him, don't waste your time
username7 It's just for the plot 🤭
yourusername NOT worth it
username8 Stay strong, I promise it gets better and one day you'll find someone who'll truly care about you
↳yourusername Already did ❤️ @/yourfriend1 @/yourfriend2
username9 Well, I guess a relationship was a bit too much for little Lando Norris
landonorris Catching little feelings, thought we had arrangements
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username1 HOW DARE HE????
↳username2 I guess men just have the audacity 🥲
yourfriend1 When you act like you're in a relationship with her so she thinks you wanna be in a relationship with her 🙄
↳username3 That's Y/n's best friend right there 😭
maxfewtrell Drunk Lando is the worst Lando I've ever had to deal with
↳landonorris we both know that's a lie cmon
angryginge13 I forgot how fun it is to go out with you
↳maxfewtrell I swear something got into him lately, like sure he always loved to party but have you seen how drunk he was?
angryginge13 tbh I barely remember that night lol
username4 AHA so Lando is also going through it
username5 as 👏 he 👏 should 👏
username6 What's wrong with men these days? All I see are situationships, fwbs, ons, what happened to feelings? What happened to love?
↳username7 I guess dating apps messed up our perception of relationships
username6 This is sad.
username8 Well, at least Y/n isn't out getting drunk
↳username9 We can't be sure, we know all she wants us to know, her life can be totally different than what she shows on social media
username10 They had arrangements as he said, it's her fault she fell in love
↳yourfriend1 Oh will you all just shut up?
username10 Someone's mad lol
username11 So many people idolizing Lando just because he can drive a fast car in circles but in reality he's just your average brit in his 20s with commitment issues
↳username12 He's still young, he doesn't have to get in a serious relationship if he doesn't want to
username11 But it was wrong of him to lead Y/n on
username12 Just as someone said already - not his fault that she caught feelings. These typa things aren't for everyone. Or maybe she was hoping he'll fall in love or something
username11 Yeah? How is it that men these days want the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities?
username12 Did he force her into it? Nope. She could've said no it's not my thing bye. But she didn't. She stayed with him
username11 If you wanna have sex without commitment just pay for it, it's still a thing. You can't have stuff like this for free, at the cost of another person's feelings
A month later
yourusername Kisses to my exes who don't give a shit about me
view all comments
yourfriend1 I'm glad you feel better now ❤️
↳yourusername I feel so much more alive now
username1 They all slaaaaay
yourfriend2 Remind me, why haven't we done this kinda trips before?
↳yourusername Cuz we're stupid 🫶
yourfriend1 We're not stupid, we're sillymates
yourusername Fuck soulmates when you can have sillymates
yourfriend2 Stupid choices were made tho
yourusername Neither of you stopped me lmao
carlossainz55 Wasn't it a little too cold to sit on the balcony like this?
↳yourusername The wine warmed us up!!
carlossainz55 Text me if you're ever curious about other ways to warm yourself up *this comment has been deleted*
carlossainz55 Good to know you're having fun!🍷
username3 Carlos, everyone saw that comment you deleted...
username2 Where's the person who said Carlos wouldn't do that to Lando? WHERE?!
username4 Y/n should post to the song enough for you, particularly this part "cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else"
↳username5 Ngl I feel like most Olivia's songs would fit her situation right now
maxfewtrell That looks familiar...
↳username5 Nah boy, get the hell out of this comment section
username6 Wait, let him speak, maybe he has new information
username7 I need to know what stupid choices is Y/n talking about and what Max means 😭
↳username8 They're feeding us breadcrumbs and they know what they're doing
landonorris ice spice ❄
view all comments
charles_leclerc Ice ice baby 😂❄️
maxfewtrell The gossip pages gonna love this one
↳username1 So that's what Max meant when he said it looked familiar
username2 I'll wait for further explanation 😶
username3 I refuse to believe Y/n went through all the heartbreak just to hook up with him again in Finland
↳username4 Well, she liked this post so...
username3 She got the Stockholm syndrome or what? 😭
username5 At this point she deserves this
username6 @/yourusername I am very disappointed in your actions
↳username3 Bro casually tagging Y/n like she's gonna answer
↳username3 Btw it's not confirmed that they hooked up again
username7 Pls don't break her heart again
username8 I get a little heart attack every time Lando posts
username9 Guys it doesn't make sense, Y/n wouldn't go to Finland with Lando AND with her girls
↳username2 What if they went there separately and just happened to run into each other?
username9 Yeah, because there's no other places to go skiing. Someone had to arrange it or something, it cannot be a coincidence
username2 Look, the universe works in weird ways, do you know the invisible string theory?
username9 Oh no you're one of these people? 🤡
username2 All I'm saying is to me they seem like 'right people, wrong time' and maybe finally the timing is right for them
username7 No no no Y/n deserves way better, Lando is too toxic for her
username2 Do you know him? Maybe he was going thru something and it just wasn't the time for him to be in a relationship
username9 A delusional yapper is what you are
yourusername Back home with a new passion
view all comments
yourfriend1 You gotta stop feeding me these 😭
↳yourusername What, you don't like them? 🥹
yourfriend1 I love them, that's the issue!!
username1 And Lando isn't with her
↳username2 Why would he be?
username1 I think everyone thought they're together again after Finland
username2 They were NEVER together
yourfriend2 Can you get your asses out of here?
landonorris Looks delicious (the food too)
↳username3 DON'T GIVE ME HOPE
username4 Don't worry, it's just an average text from a situationship you'd get after weeks of no contact
username5 Usually followed up by "you busy tonight?"
↳username6 Ariana what are you doing here
↳username7 Man saw that comment Carlos deleted and decided to gatekeep
username5 Bet that's not the only thing he did when he saw that
username7 wdym 😭
username5 There's no way they didn't fuck
↳username8 fr a way to mark his territory
↳yourfriend1 She said she blocked you after Finland
landonorris She didn't😁
yourfriend1 I'll make sure she does now
landonorris She won't😌
username7 We need to know what happened in Finland 😭
username1 I wish he would share the secret
username2 Yeah, Oscar, don't be shy, share it with the class
username3 My bet is Y/n let Lando manipulate her again
↳username4 They're both adults like Y/n sweetie just say no it's that easy
username5 I'm gonna manifest Y/n and Lando announcing a relationship soon 🕯
username6 I mean have y'all seen Lando? I'm NOT surprised Y/n keeps coming back even if he's doing just the bare minimum
↳username7 He's average. The fact that he's famous and has money makes him more attractive
username6 Do you think he pays Y/n for... you know?
username7 🤷♀️
username8 Words cannot express how much this man gets on my nerves
↳username9 Same like man stop being blind and see that Y/n is gf material, not some hookup to be used and left
username10 I wish Oscar would've spoken😭
username11 Get your shit together Lando
↳username12 Well maybe Y/n doesn't mind
username11 It didn't seem like it
username12 People change 🤷♀️
username11 I wish Lando would've been the one to change 🙏
username13 Lando has NO RIGHT to speak on other people's relationships being a walking definition of commitment issues himself
↳username14 chill yo tits, I think he truly thought what Oscar said was cute
yourusername We turned out to like each other way more than we originally planned
view all comments
yourfriend1 I'm tired of you both already
maxfewtrell It's gonna be one of those "they still together?" kinda relationships
↳yourusername We plan on being an insufferable pain in the ass together just for you 🫶
maxfewtrell I see Lando is already changing you for the worse
landonorris the process began way earlier
maxfewtrell But you didn't have the balls to commit
↳yourfriend2 She deserves so much better
yourfriend1 Yeah @/yourusername deserves so much better, I wish she would've read the comments
carlossainz55 Congrats, you finally tamed him👏
yourusername I hate you both ❤️
↳landonorris wow, I love supportive friends
yourfriend2 Who said we're your friends?
yourfriend1 We have to tolerate your ass but it doesn't mean we're suddenly friends
↳landonorris You've been waiting to see this happen
carlossainz55 Of course, I've been telling you to get a girlfriend for so long now
↳username1 ekhm...
↳username2 We will never forget
username3 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM?
username4 Miss girl needs to share her manifestation techniques with us
oscarpiastri Don't have to thank me
↳landonorris Yup, you did nothing
↳yourusername Thank you Oscahhh
username5 I MANIFESTED IT 🕯
yourusername For our 6 months anniversary we forced our friends to go camping with us 🏕
view all comments
yourfriend1 It wasn't as bad as I thought
↳angryginge13 Worse?
yourfriend1 Oh definitely
landonorris I'm really surprised they got along
↳maxfewtrell What other choice we had?
↳yourfriend2 Anything for Y/n tbh
↳yourfriend1 Still doesn't mean we don't hate you
yourfriend2 Yeah, good friends will always say 'but she deserves better' (she really does)
maxfewtrell I didn't expect you to last that long
↳yourusername Excuse me? 🤨
maxfewtrell You know, it's Lando
yourusername I guess you're right lmao
landonorris Now what is that supposed to mean?
yourusername Nothing, don't be mad❤️
↳landonorris That's what she said
yourusername NO IT'S NOT WTF 😭
oscarpiastri What if I tag along the next time?
↳yourusername I'd be happy 🫶 if you bring Lily as well it would be perfect
username1 WAR IS OVER
username2 I love how winter break is always pure chaos and summer break is just fun and chill
danielricciardo When can I join you though?
↳landonorris I promise next time I visit you in Australia it'll be with Y/n
yourusername You didn't even ask me...
landonorris Well, do you wanna go?
yourusername DUH
↳username3 No cuz these pics have strong Danny Ricc energy, I'm surprised he wasn't there
username4 The friend groups were forced to unite, I'm afraid they're together for life (I'm manifesting🤞)
↳username5 I hope they are, I feel like Lando really matured with Y/n by his side
username4 He went from "I don't wanna mature, I'm happy where I am" to this 😭
username6 I wish all situationships would turn out like this
↳username7 World would be a better place
username8 Right people right time❤️
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#F1 smau#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris social media au
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𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─ PB⁵
౨ৎ ─ summary | paigey being your girlfriend - a list of relationship "headcanons"
─ warnings | in a bullet-point formatting, i hope you guys like it! fluff (lmk if yall want nsfw ones bc i can provide), paige being DOWN BAD, social media tingz, maybe alluding to being outed but not really, some angst but you can skip over it, paigey being protective (duh), nothing else?
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
─ ev's notes | THIS IS SUCH LONG MESS BECAUSE I'M HAVING PAIGE BRAINROT RN, but i hope y'all enjoy nonetheless LOL being in my paige era i've read so many of these and i'm sure you guys have as well, so i'm making this as unique (or descriptive) as i possibly can to make it because it's more fun to read (and write cus im a sucker for details)
PRE-RELATIONSHIP STUFF
when you guys first started dating, i feel like paige would be kind of secretive about it
maybe secretive isn't the right word but very... private but not secret type of vibe (at least irl)
not because she doesn't want to show you off, because believe me, she wants to (she's a bragger what can i say)
but just because she wants to keep you all to herself for a while
she knows that as soon as people find out about it, everyone will be talking about it and making assumptions and she just wants to keep you to herself
at least for a couple months
she doesn't care about the public's opinions but she wants to make sure that y'all are LOCKED IN before she makes it public on social media
but it's clear to paige that y'all are very much locked in after the first couple weeks
she's not new to relationships and she's had her fair share but she can tell that it's different now
so the whole "not sure if i wanna hard/soft launch her cus what if we're not a long term" sentiment turns into "i wanna keep this special thing to myself ONLY for at least a couple months"
and of course the entire team knows paige is down bad for you, they've never ever seen her this WHIPPED
because paige seems like she'd be nonchalant and SHE IS... for people she doesn't give a fuck about
so when she likes someone, she LIKES someone
she is extra what can i say
they tease her about it and in any other situation, she would be annoyed but she loooooooves it because it's like "yeah i'm in the best most awesome relationship with the cutest sweetest and kindest girl in the PLANET"
you and paige would've definitely known of each other since freshman year but like... she's kinda intimidating so you sorta tried to steer clear of her
you were really close with some of the girls on the team, specifically azzi so you saw paige kind of a lot
but sophomore year, azzi kind of pushed you guys to be close and since she knows you guys so well, IT WORKED!
you guys clicked so quick and that doesn't happen a lot with paige, it takes a lot to earn her friendship
but you practically ripped down all her walls within like an hour of talking to her
definitely the first one to catch feelings
at least... to her ;)
very much friends to lovers trope with lots of sexual tension cus who doesn't love that?
i feel like after 3 months of being really close friends, you guys would spend like a shit ton of time together
you guys were ALWAYS together
she even tried to convince you to come to practice with her but you said no cus... what the heck
everyone knows... EVERYONE knows that paige likes you
and it kind of becomes like cemented (for paige at least) after she realized you were her literal COMFORT PERSON
like after every terrible, long practice or after losing games all she wants to do is be AROUND YOU so she could forget about everything
especially when she gets injured, she's such a wreck and the only person who made her feel better was you
it wasn't even what you said or what you did, it was simply just you
and after going through such a bad time with you, she realized that she liked you and she can't keep pretending
and she asked you (yaya!) and you said yes cus you liked her back (yaya!) and everything is just YAYA
so it's safe to say she knows she's found her soulmate within a month of knowing you
but she doesn't wanna seem like she's love-bombing you or whatever so she pretended to be nonchalant
which of course FAILS because she's down bad
so she tells you she loves you within like a month of dating
i KNOW it seems bad but you guys both felt it because of the whole injury and spending every moment together
when you know, you know vibes
she told you she loved you after you were there for her through some of the worst times of her life and you said it back of course and it's all cutesy
paige's love language is TOTALLY quality time and touch
even before you were dating, she just liked having her hands on you whether it was like holding your hand while walking through a crowd, or braiding your hair, or putting her head on top of yours or something as simple as just HUGGING you
but she kept it cordial of course cus y'all weren't dating
yeah that was all thrown out the window as soon you became her girlfriend
hands on you at ALL times, it becomes so subconscious neither of you even know you're doing it anymore
so remember that whole secret relationship thing?
well... everyone kind of figures it out online after like 3 months of dating
it was because of paige, poor girl couldn't keep her hands and lips off of you after a particularly hard game and somehow 🤨🤨someone gets a picture and it was all over twitter and tiktok the next day
literally "paige bueckers girlfriend" trending after an hour of getting posted
but neither of you cared too much about it because A. it was totally worth it cus the kiss was 😫😫😫 and B. she finally doesn't have to turn off her girlfriend mode when she's with you at games
cus she has the prettiest and best gf in the world and she wants everyone to know that
the only reason she was slightly annoyed was because she couldn't hard launch you on instagram :( poor girl had potential captions in her notes :( cus she's our little drama queen:(
but that doesn't stop her cus she ends up doing it! (shameless plug right there hehehe)
now that she can freely touch you and just be herself finally, she literally doesn't GAFFF
of course nothing like over the top because sure she loves PDA to a certain extent and she's an athlete so she needs to keep it civil
RELATIONSHIP STUFF
we've already covered how paige is a physical touch and quality time girly
and paige loves spending literally all her free time with you because you just recharge her
but it isn't in like an overwhelming way
paige understand that sometimes you need quiet time (or vice versa) but the thing is she doesn't even need you to talk just being around you is enough
so idk if it's necessarily QUALITY time but just being around you and spending every free second she has with you tells you that she is in love with you
paige is the most protective person IN THE WORLD, not just with you like in general
it doesn't even have to be someone she knows, if she sees someone giving someone else a hard time SHE WILL STEP IN!
and with her friends, y'all have seen her... she does not back down and will literally murder anyone who comes for the people she cares about
so if that's with people she doesn't know, and her friends, you guys can imagine how crazy she gets over you
if somebody says something even slightly consendecing or mean, slap. someone looks at you the wrong way? slap. somebody breaths wrong around you, slap.
obviously she won't lay a hand on them first but likeeee would she back down, nope
she is actually your guardian angel
like at parties, her hand is always on you and she never ever leaves your side
you need to get a drink, she's coming to
if you need to pee? she'll wait in the bathroom for you
yeah don't expect her to leave your side
because even when she IS by your side, there is always a weirdo in your guys' ear trying to get with one (or both!) of you
but yeah she's not afraid to defend you when it comes to literally anything
and this doesn't only apply to strangers, if there is someone that you know (your friend, her friend, etc) she WILL stand by you and defend you
like she doesn't shy away from confrontation, she will say something but only if you want her to
and GOD HELP THEM if you shed a single tear, cus the next morning you bet she's saying something
like i said, paige is a confrontational person and that means she's the biggest communicator
if she has a problem, she will tell you so that you guys can fix it
but sometimes she can come off a little argumentative and like she's just attacking you
she uses a lot of "you" statements so it seems like she's pushing the blame all on to you
so that can be the root of a lot of your guys' arguments when paige is only trying to solve the issues
but of course paige doesn't back down so she will be arguing with you even if she doesn't even know why, she just hates being wrong
but she doesn't let you leave or go to sleep unless the problem is fixed (or at least on the road to being fixed)
she'll give you space, she'll go another room to take a breather but she will not let you leave until it is fixed
usually after the breather you guys can come to an agreement and then paige usually hugs all the anger outta you
cus who could resist her?
if the argument lasts a couple days (it usually doesn't unless it's something serious) paige will talk it out with her mom or her friends
and you'll usually do the same
and paige will force you to sit down and talk about it until it is FIXED because she hates not being able to talk to you
and when you guys do eventually talk about it, especially if it's a serious topic, it will end with tears with both parties
but you guys always make up and everything will be better
okay okay no more angst ... for now hehehe
i feel like paige's nervous tic would be braiding the ends of her hair so i feel like that would transfer to YOU somehow
she just likes braiding your hair!!!!!! or just running her hands through your hair, it would help her relax
and if you're like me, it will help you relax as well
if you're black/have braids, she would only touch your hair if you let her!
paigey takes pictures OF EVERYTHING so obviously that includes you
her camera roll consists of ONLY you atp, like... 20% pics of literally anything else, and the rest would just be pictures of you or something to do with you
and oh my gosh don't get me started on the damn .5's of you, some of them are HORRENDOUSSSS and paige uses them as reaction pictures sometimes
and you found out from azzi that she does indeed use them in the girls groupchat
but she argues that you just look adorable which you respectfully disagree
oh and don't get me started on her tiktok drafts, she has at least 1,000 (rip her storage)
and when y'all started dating she just makes cute relationship tiktoks but she never posts them
EXPECT the "you're spinning me around, my feet are off the ground one" cus she wants to prove to the world that she has muscles
and the tiktok girlies will cry but WHO CARES!
oh and if you're on the basketball team, they will started to fan-girl over you as well
HELLA TIKTOK EDITS
and paige will favorite, repost and comment on them
like the most down-bad, insane comments you can think of
"GET THE STRAP GET THE STRAP!" is one of many ✨✨
if you aren't on the team, trust the tiktok girlies will find a way and they will make edits of you
and paige will do the same
obviously you do the same for her, your favorites are just paige edits atp (mine too)
ESPECIALLY THE GET IT SEXY ONE OMLL
and everyone will make ship edits and cutesy things like
"omg the way paige looks at her" and like a slideshow of paige being like all 😍😍😍
after paige gets more comfortable with like the media knowing about you two, she posts you every five seconds
usually like stories and stuff and especially if you’re also a basketball player, she reposts ALL your stuff
she is a proud gf !!!
she also has a highlight FOR SURE, she loves
also she def has like 10 diff wallpapers of you and her, some are really cute and some are really… 🫣
also paige strikes me as the type to like be texting you ALL DAY
and girl doesn’t care if you reply, she will send you 8 consecutive messages of different things
“omg look at the group chat 😂 *insert screeshot*” “baby they ran out of fucking caramel at dunkin, how does that happen ?” “i ended up going to a local cafe why did this shit cost me 9$” “baby you’re coming to my game on saturday right?” “HAHA look at this meme 😂” “why haven’t you responded to my tiktok’s in 2 days?”
yes she 100% uses the laughing with tears emoji argue with the WALL
or skull emoji
she also sends you 20 minute snapchat vlogs and they’re so chaotic, especially when she’s at practice or something
kk will steal her phone and say hi then you’ll hear them play fighting for like 80% of the vlog
also she does grwm’s on snapchat too when she’s at away games and her morning voice is SOOOO SEXY CUTE
↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers#uconn headcannons#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#ncaa women’s basketball#women's college basketball#wcbb fic#wcbb x reader#wcbb
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ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)
this is a prequel series to lost in reality, however you don't have to read this one first!
pairing: rafe cameron x f!reader, (not au, both are early to mid 20's), slight jj & john b x reader (flirting & kissing)
word count: 3k
summary: a couple pogues find their way into a kook only party
warnings: drinking!!!!!, enemies to lovers (pogue!reader x rafe), mean/cocky rafe, use of the words 'whore' and 'slut', pushing/shoving & one punch is thrown, sexual tension but no smut, flirting & grinding on jj & john b, i made up a club name lol, ward is still alive (just mentioned), rafe gives reader an ultimatum
a note: idk if i slayed. i'm also trying to crank out a bunch of fics before i get too busy, so if you have any requests, please let me know! also, i wanted to try adding photo banners...lemme know if you like it.
please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧
You're not quite sure how JJ even got the tickets in the first place.
The Underworld was the newest club to open on Kildare, right outside the luxurious neighbourhood of Figure 8. It was supposed to be Kooks only, but JJ never backed down from an opportunity to party. You arrived just after midnight, the line already wrapped around the building.
After a long wait and getting your purse and I.D. checked (thankfully the bouncer didn't clock the boy's fake ones), you, JJ, and John B slid into the club. It was loud, the ground vibrating as you made your way to the bar. JJ kept his hand in the middle of your back to make sure you didn't wander off or get snatched by some Kook asshole.
You didn't belong there, but you were determined to have fun, at least for a little while. You just hoped that JJ and John B would behave themselves.
After downing a few cocktails (the Sea Breeze, mainly; vodka mixed with cranberry and grapefruit juice, the bar’s specialty), you drag John B and JJ towards the dance floor. Hollywood Undead's Everywhere I Go starts to play, and you squeal with excitement, the vodka already hitting you. JJ stands behind you, his hands on your hips as you grind up against him, while John B stands in front of you, his arms around you as he grinds against you.
You giggle as JJ grips your hips tighter, pulling you even closer to him. You bite your lip as you stare up at John B, his eyes going down your tank top. You're lost in it; the feeling of the alcohol running through your veins, the music and the vibrating floor, and the two boys you're sandwiched between.
JJ's fingers press into your hips, and you could feel his nails through the fabric of your miniskirt. He grinds against you from behind, his breath hot against your ear. “You're being a tease,” he murmurs, and you feel your skin flush with heat as he says it.
John B looks down at you. “He's right, y'know,” he agrees, his hands wandering lower down your back.
“I’m just trying to enjoy myself, and enjoy my favourite party song.” You say, your fingers intertwining into the hair at the back of John B’s neck.
“Are you now?” JJ's fingers slide up the skin of your stomach, pushing your tank top up. The feel of his calloused hands against you sends shivers down your spine, and you could feel his thumbs teasing the underside of your bra.
John B reaches up to grab your hair with one hand, right at the root. He grabs your hip with his free hand and pulls you closer, hooking two of his fingers into the waistband of your miniskirt. He tugs your head back, forcing you to look up at him. Your eyes are wide and slightly glassy, your lip gloss smudged from your drink. He smirks before leaning down to kiss you, keeping your hair in a tight grip.
You kiss him back sloppily, your hands falling onto his forearms. The vodka is making your head spin, and the way he tastes slightly of the mango vape he took a hit from earlier makes your knees weak.
John B smirks against your lips as he tugs on your hair again, kissing you roughly and forcing you to open your mouth for him. His tongue invades your mouth, tasting the lingering alcohol on your own. You can feel the metal of his rings against your hip as he pushes some of your waistband down. JJ's fingers tease the waistband of your skirt, his thumbs gently massaging your hips. He nibbles your earlobe, his hands trailing further up your stomach as the three of you grind together.
JJ and John B are caught up in their own little competition over you, and you're enjoying every second of it. You didn't care about anyone else in the club, your attention solely focused on the two boys you were with. John B's lips move from your lips to your neck, his free hand tugging up your skirt even more. He sucks at the skin on your neck, his mouth and tongue working to leave a mark. while JJ's fingers caress your stomach, occasionally slipping under your shirt to trace your stomach.
JJ's lips wander down your neck, his mouth leaving hot kisses on your skin. He could taste sweat and salt, and he couldn't get enough of it. One of his hands drops to your stomach, feeling the muscles there flex, his fingers dipping under the waistband of your skirt. John B looks up at you, his eyes dark as he watches you squirm. He tugs at your hair, yanking your head back again and forcing your breath to come out in a gasp.
Your head is swimming, lost in the feeling of JJ and John B’s touches and kisses. You don’t know how much time has passed, but you do know that you love the feeling of the vodka flowing through you.
You can't hear the yelling over the music, but you can feel when JJ suddenly goes flying, landing on his ass on the sticky bar floor. You're still a little tipsy, John B tugging you out of the way as Rafe towers over JJ. “What the hell are you Pogue fucks doing here?”
“Chill out, Rafe,” John B says, pushing his shoulder with one hand. “We paid to get in. We're allowed to be here.”
“I know you paid, but that doesn't mean you're welcome here,” Rafe says with a laugh. “The last thing I want is some disgusting Pogue trash spoiling my night.”
JJ pushes himself off the floor, ignoring the stares from the other party guests. “Last time I checked, I'm welcome anywhere I want, Kook,” he says. “Why don't you go find somewhere else to be a prick?”
“Nah, nah, you shitheads aren't allowed here,” Rafe says, his eyes drifting down to you. “No Pogues, and no whores. So get the fuck out.”
“Whore?” You ask, pulling away from John B. “You don’t even know me, asshole.”
Rafe turns his gaze to you, his eyes raking over you, taking in your dishevelled look. He leans down to your level, a smirk on his face. “I know enough,” he says. “You're hanging out with two white trash Pogue stoners, and with the way they're all over you, you're definitely a whore, too.”
“Leave her out of this, man.” JJ says, pushing Rafe backwards. “Your problem is with John and me. Not her.”
Rafe stumbles back a couple of steps before straightening himself up. He glares at JJ, shoving his shoulder. “So protective,” he drawls. “It's cute, really.”
John B steps between you and Rafe, his fists clenched. “Just leave us alone,” he says, trying to remain calm. He didn’t want to get banned from another club. “We didn't do anything to you, man. We’re just trying to enjoy our night.”
Rafe laughs, shoving John B back. “You're right,” he says. “You didn't do anything, but Pogues aren't allowed here. So why don't you take your whore and get out?”
“Dude, just leave us alone.” You say. “We were allowed in. There isn't anything you can do about it.”
Rafe smirks, stepping close to you, his eyes narrowing. “Are you sure about that?” he asks, lifting your chin with his finger. “Or maybe I could get my security friends to kick you all out.”
“We paid like everyone else,” JJ snaps, pushing Rafe’s hand away from your face. “Don’t fucking touch her, she’s never done anything to you. We're not breaking any rules being here, so cut your bullshit and go bother someone else.”
“Oh, really?” Rafe laughs. “You seriously think that just because you paid, and you followed the rules, you're welcome here? That's rich, considering you're a bunch of Pogue trash.” He looks down at you again, his smirk growing wider. “I wonder what Daddy will say if he finds out that his good little girl is hanging out with two stoner Pogue boys, getting piss drunk in the most expensive club on Kildare.”
“At least my dad actually cares about me,” You say, trying to lunge at him, but John B immediately grabs your arms and tugs you back. “You act all tough in the hopes that your daddy will even give you one second of his time.”
Rafe's face darkens with anger as the words tumble out of your mouth, his expression turning from smug to furious in an instant. “Don't you dare talk about my father, you little slut,” he says, getting up in your face, almost touching you. “You have no idea what you're talking about, and you have no right to make judgements about my life.”
John B grips you tighter, yanking you even further back as Rafe tries to get closer to you. You bark out a laugh, squirming in John B’s arms. “You don’t know anything about me or my family either, Rafe. Learn to take what you dish out.”
“I know enough,” Rafe spits, his voice dripping with hatred, although it isn’t entirely directed at you. “You're a piece of Pogue trash with no class and no respect. You don't belong here, and you never will. And the fact that you came in here with those two losers only proves that you belong in the swamp with them, whoring yourself out. So why don't you do everyone a favour and leave?” John B has to practically hold you back, his grip tightening on you as you writhe in his arms. He knew you could handle yourself, but that didn't mean that he wanted you to get yourself into more trouble with a guy like Rafe.
“I understand you're pissed at us, man,” JJ says, trying to keep his voice as even as possible as he takes a step in front of you, “but there's no reason for you to take it out on her like that. She didn't do anything to you.”
Rafe goes quiet, staring at JJ, his jaw ticking. The punch is swung so fast you can barely react before JJ stumbles back, bumping into you. Kelce and Topper, who had been standing behind Rafe and enjoying the show, move to grab him, both holding onto an arm as they yank him back.
JJ's lip is split, blood trickling down his chin. He swipes at it with the back of his hand, glowering at Rafe. “Real big man, picking a fight with someone for talking back to you.”
You’ve almost completely sobered up at this point. You grab the back of JJ’s partially buttoned up shirt, tugging him towards you. “Let’s just go. It’s not worth it.”
“Yeah, I'm not taking orders from you,” he mutters, but he lets you tug him back anyway. “And we're not leaving. We paid for admission, and I'll be damned if I'm leaving early just because some Kook has a stick up his ass.”
Rafe tries to lunge again, but Kelce and Topper easily hold him back. John B puts up his hands in surrender, trying to defuse the situation. “Look, dude, we'll just go. No trouble, alright?”
You tug on JJ’s arm, yanking him away as John B leads you out of the club. JJ scowls as you drag him away, but he doesn't resist. He mutters under his breath as you step out of the club, the cool night air hitting you in the face.
John B leans against the building, his head tilted back as he tries to calm down. The adrenaline and anger from the confrontation with Rafe is still pumping through his veins, and he takes a deep breath before speaking. “Jesus, JJ, you really know how to piss people off.”
“I didn’t fuckin’ do anything!” JJ says exasperatedly. “It was all Rafe. Fucking asshole.”
John B rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Yeah, a big Kook shithead, we get it. But you don't have to provoke him, man. You know he's always picking fights with us.”
JJ scowls at the comment, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I didn't provoke him! He was the one who started it!”
“Guys, come on.” You say, head already starting to pound. “Let’s just go.” John B and JJ exchange a look, their brief anger forgotten as they look at you.
“Yeah, yeah, alright,” John B says, shrugging his shoulders. “I'm still up for partying. You good, JJ?”
JJ eyes you for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I'm cool. Let's see what other shithole is still open.”
You head out of Figure 8, headed back towards The Cut.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧
Thankfully, your night wasn’t too rough.
You’re only slightly hungover at work the next day, the small desk fan blowing air back and forth as you sit at the counter, waiting for a customer while you scroll on your phone. Working at your dad’s bait shop was all fun and games until no one needed any bait. There wasn’t even really a door, just a big open wall lined with mosquito netting, overlooking the water that lined The Cut, the spot that normally holds your dad’s fishing boat is empty.
The sun is high in the sky, beating down on the docks and making the air feel thick and heavy. The wooden dock outside creak, the telltale sign a customer is coming. You quickly pocket your phone and stand up, rummaging through some random papers on the counter as you try to look professional and busy. You look up as the mosquito netting parts. “Hey, welcome to--”
It’s Rafe.
Rafe smirks as he steps into the bait shop, his eyes raking over you from head to toe. He can see the way you pause for a fraction of a second before your forced smile, and he can't help but find some enjoyment in it. He takes his time wandering around the shop, looking at the different merchandise and lures hanging on the walls. Rafe finally makes his way to the counter, leaning against it and staring down at you. “You look like hell,” he finally says.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, setting the papers down. “You don’t fish.”
Rafe laughs, his eyes never leaving your face. “I came to see how you're doing,” he says, his tone laced with mocking concern. “After last night, I was worried about you,” His eyes rove over you again, taking in your hangover and tired look. “I was worried I had broken you, but you look like you survived the night.”
You sigh, not in the mood to play his games. “Why are you really here, Rafe? Everyone knows you wouldn’t go into The Cut just to gloat.”
He feigns innocence, placing a hand over his heart. “I'm offended, really,” he says. “But you're right, I didn't come here just to gloat. I came to make you a proposition.”
You sit back down on the stool, leaning your elbows onto the counter. “Which is?”
Rafe leans onto the counter as well, his gaze flickering down, looking at the way your body moves before meeting your gaze again. “It's a little favour, really,” he says, his smirk growing wider. “In exchange for me not telling your father about the cute party-girl image you tried to pass off last night.”
Your jaw clenches. Even though you seemed blasé about it last night, you were worried about the effect it would have on your father’s business. “Go on.”
Rafe's smirk only widens at your tense reaction, enjoying the fact that he was the one in control here. He leaned closer, dropping his voice. “I want you to spend one day with me, anywhere I want. Do whatever I say, go wherever I say, and I won't tell your daddy anything about your little adventure last night. Think of it as payment for my discretion.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you.” You say almost immediately.
Rafe raises an eyebrow, looking almost offended by your assumption. “Whoa, slow down, I never said anything about that,” he says, holding up his hands in a mock-surrender. “I'm not that desperate, okay? No, all I want is a simple date. And if everything goes well, I won't say a word to your dear, ignorant daddy. You can still keep your little reputation.”
“Desperate?” You ask.
“Yes, desperate,” Rafe says, his tone turning slightly mocking. “Just because I'm a Kook doesn't mean I'd go around sleeping with every cute little Pogue girl just for kicks. I have standards, you know.”
You sigh, looking down. It seemed like a good deal; your secret would be kept, you would get a free meal, and you wouldn’t have to sleep with him. Your eyes meet his again before you nod slightly. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
Rafe's smirk widens, the smug look in his eyes only growing. “Atta girl,” he says, pushing off the counter and straightening himself up. “I knew you were smart enough to take a good deal when you see one. Let's say tomorrow, six o'clock. I'll pick you up here. Dress to impress.”
“Okay,” You say. “I’ll see you then.”
Rafe takes a moment to admire the sight of you behind the counter before he turns around, his hand pausing on the mosquito netting. “Oh, and one more thing,” he says, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Don't tell JJ or any of those loser Pogue friends about this, okay? I'm looking forward to having you all to myself for a night.”
You swallow hard when you feel something, warmth blossoming in the pit of your stomach. It renders you speechless for a second, and you have to shift in your seat and sit straight up before you find your voice again. “Okay. I can do that.”
Rafe watches the shifting in your seat, his gaze roaming over you for a brief moment as a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. He steps through the mosquito netting, the smug look still on his face. “Good. See you tomorrow evening, sweetheart.”
He exits as quickly as he came in, the dock creaking as he departs. You let out a shaky breath, standing up, and you watch him through the windows as he leaves. You bite your head before shaking your head slightly.
You couldn’t help but wonder what the hell you just got yourself into.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚*:・゚✧
★taglist: @ietss, @momoewn, @blairsblg (italics means i couldn’t tag you!)
part two is here!
#keikiwrites#f!reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron#obx#obx fic#obx rafe#obx rafe cameron#enemies to lovers#outerbanks rafe#jj maybank#john b routledge#rafe cameron fic
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Again its me again of the seraphim request😭
Can you do a part 2 of ‘The Cat’ (i dont know the name, rip💔) with Idia and Rook, Vil!
And do take your time writing this later if you’re busy with the other requests or irl things
Vil, Rook, Idia with 'The Cat'! Reader
hi! I'm pretty sure the cat's name is quite literally just 'The Cat' lol and thanks for waiting <3
Part 1 with Jade, Jamil, Azul
Vil Schoenheit:
Vil doesn’t tolerate nonsense, but your catlike, elusive nature is an exception he begrudgingly accepts. He knows you're always nearby, watching with those sharp, observant eyes, even if you’ve seemingly vanished from the room.
There’s a part of him that appreciates your ability to slip away from prying eyes—though he'd never admit it aloud.
"You really must learn to make an entrance properly," Vil remarks, not bothering to glance up from his mirror as you reappear, perched silently on a windowsill.
"And ruin the fun?" you reply smoothly, your voice lilting with amusement. "I thought you appreciated subtlety."
Vil's eyes narrow in the mirror, his reflection catching yours. "Subtlety is an art. Vanishing into the shadows is a parlor trick. Though, I suppose you have your charm."
You smirk, lazily stretching. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Vil sighs but can’t hide the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Don't push it."
Rook Hunt:
Rook finds your elusive and catlike behavior endlessly fascinating, like a puzzle he’s always eager to solve. The thrill of the hunt, of tracking you down in your hiding places or catching a glimpse of your vanishing figure, delights him more than he lets on.
“Ah, mon cher mystère, always slipping through my fingers,” Rook calls out theatrically, his voice carrying through the empty corridor.
You appear just behind him, your voice low and teasing, “Perhaps you’re not as sharp as you think, huntsman.”
Rook spins with that ever-present smile, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Oh, but the chase, it only adds to your allure! Each time you vanish, I find myself more intrigued."
You step closer, lips curving into a knowing smile. "Catch me, then."
Rook’s grin widens. "One day, I just might." But even he knows, deep down, that the game is far too fun to ever truly win.
Idia Shroud:
Idia isn’t exactly a fan of social interaction, so your tendency to vanish into thin air doesn’t bother him. In fact, he finds it kind of reassuring—after all, you’re never gone for long.
He’s used to the way you silently reappear, blending into the background, just like an NPC who pops up unexpectedly.
"You always show up when I least expect it," Idia mutters, eyes glued to his screen. He doesn’t look over, but you know he’s noticed.
"Surprise," you whisper from behind him, your voice almost purring. Idia jumps, then groans. "Do you have to do that? It’s like a horror game—except the jumpscares are real."
You chuckle, slipping around to his side. "I’m just keeping things interesting." He side-eyes you, hair flickering slightly. "Yeah, interesting, sure. You’re like, everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's... kinda OP."
You grin, leaning close enough for him to hear the smirk in your voice. "Better than being predictable." Idia gives a small, awkward laugh. "Touché."
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland#twst#idia x reader#idia shroud x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt x reader
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I absolutely love these designs! and was just wondering what inspired them? I'm curious of what the plot's about, since everyone's species swapped
why not answer this question with another ref sheet(?) :3
I’d like to say, first and foremost, thank you very much for the love 🫶 i love getting asks and requests, these sillies live in my brain and drawing them is their rent
Second, i’m probably gonna keep plot talk on the DL unless i decide not to make a comic! Sorry :,3
Last but not least, inspirations. hooo boy this is a doozy
Firstly i wanna say i was inspired to make a comic specifically because of older ut comic dubs (Christmas party, handplates, Aftertale, etc) along with Scott Pilgrim and @akanemnon’s Twin Runes comic! (check them out i love twin runes a lot!!!)
The idea for the au is really just “What if the humans were monsters and the monsters were humans?” or, also “what if the (former) monsters were on the surface and the (former) humans were underground?” Classic Overtale plot!
Going in order, starting with AXIS, he’s actually one of the newest designs! i made him in my german class last week („•v•„U ) I wanted Axis to have a design change but remain a robot, maybe being more humanoid due to being made by a human! Changed his pipes and light bulb into what resembles hair and his wheel into roller blades!
Next up, Ceroba! i’ll be honest, i really don’t like Cerobas canon design that much. Love the colors but the short skirt and boots are not it, especially if she’s intended to be a more traditional japanese character. Like she’s not a magical girl, she’s in her 30’s?? Anywho, i made her prominently orange instead of pink (again, magical girl) along with lightening natural hair due to age and stress!
Clover. Clover Clover Clover!!! what do i even say about this precious little pup?! :3
I guess i could start with them being a Kitsune, of course, being switched with the Ketsukanes. Seeing as Ceroba is a mother and is often portrayed as taking a motherly role to clover, i figured a kitsune would fit them nicely! Along with being a cute, fun to draw, and curious troublemaker! I always like to remind myself that Clover’s just a kid.
Next up, Star! or, in this au, Stanley Sterling, the performative sheriff of a humble little town! i decided to switch up his poncho a little, for the sake of changing his design, gave him chaps (i like to call em pantaloons hoohoo!) and teal tassels for days! He’d prolly know more about cowboys than canon Starlo because, yknow, he lives on the surface!
Ah Martlet, or now, Marlette! but most just call her Marley. She has ~4 different outfits planned, a cozy, aviator style one for “Snowdin”, a sleeveless shirt with her flannel round her waist and a bandana for “the Dunes” and that flannel over her shoulders for “New Home”! along with a tee and pj’s for the epilogue. Her outfit is easy to manipulate so it only stays the same so often. Also, talon boots! ;]
And Dalv! Poor fella stayed a monster for the plot 😿 but i changed his design so he’s got a jacket similar to the one he has in Snowdin in uty but a whole lot smaller lol, along with a Batty pendant, a red vest and shoes and carved down horns! poor fella :(
Feel free to ask questions about these guys i am more than pleased to talk about them
#undertale#undertale au#undertale yellow#overtale yellow#overtale#c!overtale#clover undertale yellow#ceroba undertale yellow#dalv undertale yellow#starlo undertale yellow#martlet undertale yellow#axis undertale yellow#Axis c!overtale#ceroba c!overtale#clover c!overtale#stan c!overtale#marley c!overtale#dalv c!overtale#artists on tumblr
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