#at least i no longer want to throw things! just throw myself into a lake. or the great pacific garbage patch perhaps.

[diniidjarin]

. .

[slytherizz]

Petulant - Sebastian Sallow x F!MC

Tags: Rivals to Lovers, Fluff, Slice of Life, First Kiss

A/N I'm trying to be kinder to myself when it comes to my writing. I usually share longer pieces but I have so many little bits of fluffy drabble and I'm trying to remember writing is meant to be fun and not every one-shot needs to be perfect.

Palms flat on the jetty Sebastian hoisted himself out of the water. Cursing violent profanities as he shook his hair out like a wet dog as he scrambled onto the dock. Shaking whether with rage or because the frigid water of the black lake had chilled him to the bone. She wasn’t sure. 

Not that she cared. 

Sebastian deserved it for being such a petulant pain in her arse. And little water never killed anyone; no matter how many unsavoury creatures lurked in its murky depths.

He’d practically goaded her into shoving him off the jetty. It had only been a matter of time before one of them retaliated against this little bonding exercise of Hecat’s. If he'd seen the opening first she'd be the one drenched and spluttering - she was sure of it. 

Having to endure sharing a potions station where they could use Gareth as a buffer was one thing. But being forced to spend her precious and most sacred Sallow-free hours, in the freezing cold catching Grindalow's as punishment was beyond the pale. All because they caused a teensy fire that was entirely Sebasitan’s fault when a duel had gotten out of hand. 

Really what had Hecate expected to achieve with this cruel and unusual detention? That they’d return to the castle thick as thieves? Strike up a newfound camaraderie that would want to make her do anything besides hex the smarmy git?

Impossible. Their professor was far too optimistic and this exercise had been doomed from the start.

“Enjoy your swim?” she sneered. Perhaps it hadn’t been an entire waste of time. At least now she could savour this mental image of him sopping wet and looking utterly ridiculous. 

Regaining his balance and rising to his full height, Sebastian stalked towards her. Face like thunder stopping mere inches away from her to glare down his nose. Droplets of water falling from his hair onto her cheeks. She swatted them away wrinkling her nose in disgust which only seemed to enrage him further. 

"You. Are the most immature. Insufferable. Petulant witch, I've ever had the displeasure to meet. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t hex you on the spot! Why exactly did you feel the need to throw me in the bastard lake?”

He was standing so close to her she should really step away but her feet were practically glued to the spot. Standing so close his hot breath ghosted across her cheeks. So close in fact, she could see his freckled skin through the shirt which clung to every inch of him. Sheer white leaving absolutely nothing to her imagination. 

How she'd never noticed quite how large Sebastian had gotten until he was impressing down on her was a mystery. A realisation that came too little too late as she’d turned their altercations physical. 

No matter where she looked there seemed to be more of him. Broad shoulders heaving with every laboured breath. Water beading in sparse hairs on his chest which peaked out from over his open-top buttons. Muscles in his jaw and neck twitching in agitation. 

Her eyes of their own volition had begun to meander down his stomach following the trail of hair wondering exactly how far they went before she caught herself. Wrenching them up again to his face, before she saw if the cling of his soaking tartan trousers exposed just as much of him as his shirt. Half terrified of what she'd find; the other half disgusted with her own desire to look. She didn't know what kind of feelings it would invoke but by the heat pooling low in her abdomen - she could hazard a guess.

“Have you got nothing to say for yourself?” 

She blushed wildly. Mouth flapping open and closing like a fish out of water. Trying to stamp down the unwelcome feeling that made her want to press her thighs together. 

He blinked at her. Dark eyebrows lowering sceptically. "You're staring."

"I am not!” she spluttered. Trying to recapture the feeling of overwhelming irritation she’d felt the precise moment she’d thrown him overboard. “An obnoxious idiot just happens to be shouting his head off in my eyeline."

"You're blushing." He smirked, voice giddy with amusement as if he'd finally cracked some impossible puzzle. Her hands snapped up to clasp her burning face to hide the evidence. His tongue darted across his bottom lip licking off water. Which only made her cheeks burn hotter.

"Is that why you pushed me in? Wanted to get a good look?"

"I wanted you to shut your mouth and stop whinging for five minutes so I could have some bloody peace. But it seems to have had the opposite effect - you're chatting even more bollocks than before."

"So this why you’re so insufferable all the time. This-” He gestured down to his dishevelled albeit to her utter dismay, not unappealing state of undress. “Is your idea of flirting?”

“Flir- Flirting? You must have knocked your head on your way down.”

“Merlin. This is rich - You’d be pulling on my pigtails if I had them."

"No. I. Wouldn't!"

Foot stomping hard on the rickety planks in frustration. Rather childish and definitely not her proudest display. It did little to prove her argument and instead to her dismay only seemed to make Sebastian grin wider.

"You fancy me." Not a question. He declared it like he’d won some imaginary battle. 

"I absolutely do not."

He leaned further towards her she could see the glint of triumph in his brown eyes. She swallowed hard eyes flicking towards his lips and back again. 

"Liar.”

Strong hands seized her face and knowing he’d won - Sebastian crashed his lips into hers. They were wet and cool against hers from his tumble into the lake as he kissed her. But so soft and inviting in a way she didn’t think anyone's flesh could be it made her head spin. His fingers tangled in her hair, mouth moving demanding against hers. 

Her knee jerked instinctively towards his most precious area but faltered, along with the last of her pride. She could not seem to find the will to pry herself away. Sebastian’s teeth grazed her bottom lip requesting access. She gasped in surprise and he slid his tongue past her parted lips. A shudder ran through her as his tongue flicked against hers.  

He groaned into her mouth, as her tongue matched his motions in maddening strokes. A sound under normal circumstances she would have mocked him mercilessly for only made her kiss him back more feverishly. Regrettably, her hands were just as traitorous as her tongue. Following the curve of broad shoulders, she felt the muscles underneath firm from years of duelling. Admitting defeat she dared to go further tangling in his wet hair. Pulling gently hoping it would elicit more sinful sounds from Sebastian. 

A deep well of desire now pooled in her gut all rational thoughts drowned in. She failed miserably to stifle her own strained moan as large hands encircled her waist pulling her flush against him. Skin practically burning despite the frigid temperatures.

A truly pathetic whimper of protest escaped her lips as Sebastian pulled away from their kiss. Leaving her breathless and dizzy even as the cold rushed in. No longer able to leech his warmth she shamefully realised how close their bodies had been pressed together from the chill of her damp clothes. 

He stepped back and if she was capable of forming a coherent thought she would have hexed the smug look off his ridiculous, handsome, infuriating face. 

"Now. I'm going to go and get out of these wet clothes before I catch a death," Sebastian said. As casually as if he was observing the weather and had not just spent the last five minutes snogging the supposed most insufferable witch he’d ever met. Turning quickly on his heels he began striding towards the boat house. Leaving her open-mouthed cheeks burning from the frigid wind lapping at the wet hand print on her cheek or with shameful unwanted desire she wasn't sure. Calling back over his shoulder. A roughish smile pulled on freckled cheeks. A devilish glint in his eye. "If you're ready to stop being such a brat - I'll let you help."

She groaned inwardly, legs following him across the jetty seemingly of their own accord. Powerless to stop herself and praying no one would see her shameless pursuit. 

She knew he'd never let her live this one down.

Not that she cared.

[the0doreslover]

hii ! i absolutely love your writing and i don’t really know if you do requests but if you do i have one for theodore nott.

it’s inspired by the song blue hair by tv girl. basically the reader is a metamorphmagus and has blue hair. this song can be interpreted in many ways and i absolutely love it for this so it’s really up to you. i personally see it as the blue hair would represent her childish side. how theodore and her have known each other since their childhood and been through every moment in her life, her insecurities when she asks him how to be funny or pretty. he loves this side of her. he’s always had a crush on her. but then he slowly sees her falling apart. maybe from other people’s jugement or she just matured. and she cut her blue hair or maybe decided to change her hair colour because of this and he just misses her old side.

feel free to change as much things as you want

xo

Thank you so much! it means so much to me when people say this, i absolutely love this request here you go x

Blue hair | theodore nott x fem!reader

You and Theodore had been friends longer than either of you could remember. The vibrant threads of your connection began in the earliest days of childhood, where laughter and whispers echoed through hidden alcoves. He was your confidant, and you were his. He saw you for more than the colors of your hair, something you were deeply insecure about.

He was there through some of the most important moments of your life (even the most embarrasing ones) like when you accidentally dropped an glass of water on the table while your family was having dinner with the notts and turned your hair purple out of sheer embarrassment. While your mother scowled, he pushed his own glass all over himself getting up and throwing a fuss, shifting the attention onto himself. It was something you would never forget.

As the years passed, your bond only grew stronger.

From the moment you entered hogwarts you were noticed, not in the way you wanted though.

"why is your hair blue?" a little girl asked while you were all waiting to be sorted

"why is yours blonde?" theo butted in for you watching as the girl stuttered before he put an arm around your shoulder.

Your unique ability as a metamorphmagus had always fascinated him. He loved how you could change your appearance at will, yet he could always see the true you beneath the surface. Your blue hair, which was what he sometimes saw as a representation of your childish side, only added to your charm in his eyes.

He would happily fight anyone who bullied you, and he did a few times

you had gotten one of the highest scores in your charms assignment and you were getting heavily praised which seemed to upset a few people,

"the chameleon got more than me?" you didn't even have time to see who had made the comment before you heard a loud bang, you turned around and saw theodore on top of seamus finnigan holding his arms down shouting at him to apologise.

After that incident no one dared to say anything... to your face at least.

One day, during your fourth year, as the sun set behind the castle's spires, you found yourselves sitting by the Black Lake. The waters shimmered in shades of gold, and the air was filled with the scent of blooming flowers. Your voice broke the peaceful silence, "How do i make myself interesting ?"

He turned his gaze towards you, increasing your heart rate as he opened his mouth to answer. "you don't"

"what do you mean?" you asked

"you're already the most interesting person i know"

"theo i'm being serious"

"so am i"

you dropped the subject realising you weren't going to get the answer you wanted and it quickly settled back into a comfortable silence

"You know that you're more than your hair right? more than anyone's judgment. you don't need to change a thing."

"yeah, it was stupid sorry" you said lying through your teeth

Over time, your feelings for Theodore began to shift. What once was an innocent friendship evolved into something deeper. You found yourself looking forward to your moments together, cherishing the way his laughter warmed your heart and his presence made the world feel a little brighter.

But life had a way of throwing unexpected challenges your way. As sixth year approached, the weight of impending reality and responsibilities pressed down on you.

The colors of your hair began to fade as you grappled with the complexities of growing up. You started questioning yourself, your choices, and even your appearance.

What even was normal? brown, blonde, black, ginger? why do you have to look the same as everyone else to be liked.

you stood before the mirror in your dorm room, your once-vibrant blue hair now a muted shade, it only ever shifted to murky colours now. You felt a pang sadness, your hair didn't glow like it used to anymore, You hated it, just as much as everyone else hated you for it, you weren’t ‘normal’

You grabbed the pair of scissors on the desk and brought it to your hair. You closed your eyes and once you opened them again you saw a chunk of 'normal' coloured hair on the ground.

Pansy came into the dorm a few moments later and saw you on your bed staring at the wall.

She helped you even out your hair while rubbing your back, she wasn't used to seeing you without some sort of colour tinting your hair but she stayed silent and instead stayed rubbing your back and wiping your tears.

a lot of people noticed the change in your hair... how could they not, your hair hadn't been a different colour for weeks

"your hair looks so much better like this"

"i love your hair"

"keep it like this"

"you look so much better now"

"why would you do that?" Theodore said slowly coming into the common room where you sat between your friends.

"do what?" you asked quickly waving at a new person who had taken interest in you after your change

"y/n don't act dumb, why would you cut your hair"

"i wanted to do something different"

"you wanted to do something different or you wanted to be someone different"

"i-"

"don't even answer that" he said storming up to his dorm

After a few days theo had apologised to you, which you happily accepted missing his importance in your life, he still made it very clear his views on your choice but decided to quiet down.

You wouldn’t admit it but you were slowly regretting your decision more and more each day, you missed the way you got to wake up every morning wondering what colour your mind had made your hair today, you missed feeling different and most of all you missed the way theo loved it.

"Theo?" you asked breaking the peace of your current predicament, which was you both under a tree while he read aloud to you.

"yeah"

"Do you think i'm pretty?" The words tumbled out before you could stop them.

He set his book aside and scooted closer to you. "i've always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world."

“even without my colourful hair?” you pressed

“of course, it made me sad you thought you had to cut your blue hair off in order to become liked but you did, and i can’t change that… i don’t love you any less”

You sighed, feeling the weight of your insecurities pressing down on you.

"But Im not pretty anymore right! i used to be funny, didn't I? And my hair... It used to be... I thought maybe it's time to grow up. My hair was childish"

Theodore reached out, placing a hand on yours. "Your hair was, or should i say is, a part of who you are, you're allowed to change, but sometimes it's best to keep the most amazing parts of you the same. Your blue hair was never a sign of childishness; it was a testament to your uniqueness and your willingness to be yourself."

Weeks turned into months, and as the final week of your sixth year drew to a close, the future loomed before you both. On the eve of your last day, you stood on the Astronomy Tower, gazing at the stars.

Your hair had slowly been returning to its colourful hue, but you knew that this time, the color was more than just a physical trait.

Theodore stood beside you, his presence comforting. "It's a big world out there," he said softly. "But no matter where life takes us next year, remember that you'll always be the girl with the cool hair to me, as much as you hate it, you're my girl with the cool hair"

you smiled and leaned against him

"i love you" he said confidently "i love you for you and that's not going to change. Even when your hair goes back to it's normal colour i'll still love you more than i will ever be able to express"

“you think my hair is going to go back to it’s normal colours?” you asked hopefully

“i know it will, i’ll personally make sure it does”

"i love you too"

and despite the fact you couldn't see it, theodore pulled you into a tight embrace looking down on the new blue hairs that had just begun glowing.

[skaruresonic]

Remake!James is such a prick, I hate him so fucking much.

In the In Water ending, his justification for driving his car into the lake isn't that he no longer has anything to live for without Mary, but that he can't forgive himself for what he's done.

That in and of itself wouldn't be so bad---a lack of self-forgiveness is also implied in the original version of In Water. But the real odiousness lies less in what James says and more in the implications underpinning his sentiments.

Bloober cut the original dialogue between Mary and James - the scene where he admits his mixed motives, that he both hated her for taking away his life and that he also wanted to end her suffering, and where Mary notes that he looks sad despite his shame - and instead has James monologue at Mary's corpse.

What was originally a dialogue between two parties - or, more figuratively, two sides of James making equally valid points - becomes, instead, a one-sided soliloquy where he prioritizes his wishes over those of his dead wife because "you're dead anyway, what do you care."

And no, I am not kidding. Bloober has removed most metaphorical and figurative exchanges in this game in favor of a more literal, "realistic" interpretation of events.

Here, James is quite literally talking to Mary's corpse in the back seat when he says:

...and everybody clapped because omg "'Mary's corpse was rotting in the back seat the whole time' theory confirmed, In Water must be the canon ending now." shoot me.

"I tried. I really did. But I can't... I just can't go on without you. I can't forgive myself for what I've done. I know this isn't what you'd want. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. You... You're not here. Are you?"

So Mary's wishes would only matter to you if she were alive to protest, huh, James? You wouldn't abide by them out of honor for her memory or on general principle because you, idk, loved her?

You know for a fact that she wouldn't want you to kill yourself, so you're not even going to try? Your wish to die matters more than her wish to see you live? Because you didn't exactly give her a choice in the matter, either.

In fact, I'm sure Mary would be pretty angry to hear how you value life so little that you're just gonna throw away yours out of an inability to deal with your guilt. You should feel guilty, and you should have to live with that guilt and find a way to work through it, because you murdered her.

This would be a shitty thing for James to say even if Mary had died naturally, but the fact that he murdered her makes him saying "well you're not here anymore, so fuck it" a hell of a lot skeevier. He is not going to even attempt to own up to his guilt aside from a token "sowwy, I can't fowgive myself uwu"; he can't even admit the truth, that he might have done it at least partially out of resentment. The original's nuance is eroded in favor of making In Water seem more like a classically "bad" ending, when it reality it should only be one plausible ending among multiple.

There's a reason we don't just toss people into ditches once they kick the bucket because "they're not here anymore lol." Have some fucking decorum, James, you selfish bitch.

And if you, dear reader, are thinking I'm being inordinately vitriolic towards James, I'm really not, because he maintains a self-centered attitude to the various deaths he witnesses.

He has nothing to say, zip, about Maria's first death or Eddie's death. Can't even be bothered to drum up the basic decency to offer a perfunctory "Damn, that was fucked-up."

At least Original!James was horrified at the prospect of murdering a "human being" in Eddie, a horror which jostled him into wondering whether Mary truly died three years ago (hence why the letter's writing disappears from the inventory; his delusions are slowly fading away). At least when Maria died in Brookhaven, he lamented that he "couldn't do anything to help."

The way he speaks in the remake, on the other hand, centers everything around him. It's all about his image, his ego, his feelings, and rarely, if ever, about Mary, let alone others.

This is not the first time Remake!James flaunts his ego, but it is exemplative of his attitude throughout the game. Bloober characterize him as an egotistical jerk via his dialogue and general attitude, and sometimes in the things he chooses not to say even when he should. And I cannot figure out for the life of me whether that was intentional, to push some gender-essentialist Men Bad(tm) message, or if Bloober are so shit at writing that they don't realize they've made him 100x more unlikable than before.

[boldlyvoid]

find me at midnight.

Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Summary: Steve finds himself in a wanted man

Warnings: first times, sexuality questioning, blow jobs, anal fingering, anal sex, top eddie, bottom steve, falling in love at the worst time

word count: 4.3k

Lying to Robin isn’t something he’s good at, he’s never been able to because he didn’t like to lie to her. So when she asks where he’s going at midnight, all alone, when there’s a murderer from another dimension on the loose. 

“I’m just going to get myself some new clothes and things from my house, maybe even shower— you stay here with Nancy,” he points at her knowingly, “you don’t need to come with me, I’ll be fine.” 

She sighs. “Fine, but can you also bring my sleepover bag back with you?” 

That’s the least he can do. 

He slips out into the night, driving the empty roads to his house first because he can’t come back without robins things… that would make it weirder. He showers quickly, changes into something comfortable, and grabs a new pair of underwear and a shirt for Eddie if he wants it. Cause that’s where he’d going... to Eddie.

He throws her things into the backseat of his car and takes a deep breath, he promised Eddie he’d come back to Rick's house so he could actually get some sleep tonight. It took a lot of guts for the big brood to ask for help but from the look in his beautiful doe eyes… Steve couldn’t say no. he didn’t want to. 

He wanted to go protect him. 

It takes him a lot longer than he thought it would, he doesn’t turn onto Lover Lane until 12:23 but when he does, he turns his headlights off. He drives slowly so he doesn’t alert anyone in the neighbourhood and draw attention to the house in the back… it was supposed to be abandoned while Rick was in jail.

He parks about a block from where he’s going, he grabs everything he needs and quietly makes his way around to the backdoor that Eddie broke open. He reached through the broken glass and twists the door open, he kicks off his shoes and squints as he looks around. He can’t turn the lights on, obviously, and he didn’t bring a flashlight…

“Eddie?” He whispers as loud as he can, walking through the backroom and into the kitchen. 

“You’re late.”

“Fuck,” Steve drops everything he’s holding to grip his chest, “you’re a menace.” 

“That I am,” he hops off the counter and helps Steve pick everything up. “What’s all this?” 

“In case you wanted to change or got cold,” he explains, feeling stupid now that he said it out loud. 

“Thanks, I needed new underwear and socks… Rick only wears tighty-whites,” Eddie complains, holding up the dark blue checkered boxers that he thinks are black from how dark it is inside. 

He disappears to change leaving Steve in the living room, the big windows overlooking the lake. The moon and the stars are mirrored in the water, glistening and distorted from the current. It looked cold yet lovely. Inviting, even… he hasn’t gone on a spring swim in years. 

“Whatcha looking at?” 

“Jesus fucking christ,” Steve jumps out of his skin for a second time. “Can you stop it?” 

Eddie snickers, places his hand on Steve’s shoulder, and smiles, “sorry, it’s too easy.” 

“You’re handling this a lot better than I thought you would,” Steve compliments, returning his eyes to the lake. It’s easier to talk to him when he’s not looking at him. “Not that I thought you were weak or anything just when I first saw everything I lost it.” 

“but you fought,” Eddie sighs, feeling like a loser for running. 

“Oh, I ran,” Steve gives him a glance, watching his face light up. “I ran to my car and I stood there while the lights flickered and Nancy screamed for the thing to get off Jonathan and I— don’t tell anyone I said this, but I thought about letting it get him and then realized I’m the biggest cunt int he world, he was trying to find his bother not steal my girlfriend… so I went in and helped.” 

“And then he stole your girlfriend—

“You can’t really steal something that didn’t belong to me,” Steve cuts him off. He takes a deep breath and sighs. “Nancy is well, she’s Nancy. She belongs to herself and she knew what she wanted and it wasn’t me and I had to accept it. And honestly, as much as it hurt, I’m kinda glad it threw me into this shit, I can’t imagine if I wasn’t there what would’ve happened to Dustin.” 

“I always wondered why Dustin adored you,” Eddie admits, moving to take a seat on the couch, leaving Steve by the window. 

“He doesn’t adore me,” he laughs it off, joining Eddie and sitting on the recliner opposite him.

“He loves you like you’re his cool older brother who lets him tag along all the time,” Eddie smiles. 

And it’s a beautiful smile. His eyes glisten even in the dark. 

“Well… I mean, I kinda am?” 

“He adores you,” Eddie assures him. “I get it now… at first I thought it was a pity thing like you felt bad for being a dickhead for so many years that you wanted to join the big brothers/ big sisters of Hawkins… but this makes a lot more sense.” 

Steve's stomach turns remembering all the shit he put every kid through just to be cool. “Can I just say—

“Don’t,” Eddie waves it off. “It’s fine, you weren’t too bad to me, it’s all old news anyway.” 

“Still sorry,” Steve slips it in any way. “You’re the kind of person I should’ve been friends with, not Tommy or Carole. They were so fucking mean for no reason and it was like I didn’t have a personality until after they left, and I’m still trying to find all of me, but I know I would’ve preferred having you and Robin and Nancy in my life sooner.” 

“God permitting… we can be friends when all of this is over?” Eddie suggests. 

Steve wants that too, “why can’t we start now?” 

Somehow they feel too far away from each other, so Steve moves over to the couch, they face each other with their knees bumping, staring at each other's lips in the dark, “I don’t really want a friend tonight…” 

Steve feels his heart in his throat, he knew this is what he meant when he said he hadn’t found all of himself yet… and he has a feeling he might find it here. With his lips pressed against Eddies. 

So he leans in. 

Eddie’s hand meets his cheek first, holding him back from the kiss, he runs his thumb over the skin, “don’t do it out of pity.” 

“What if I do it to show you what there is to live for?” He whispers. “Cause if I find a piece of myself right here, right now, I’m not throwing it away after.” 

Eddie doesn’t mind being an experiment, not when he doesn’t know what tomorrow looks like for himself. So he leans all the rest of the way in, eyes closing as his lips meet Steve's. There’s a buzz, a small electric current that rips through their bodies as the kiss lingers. 

It’s Steve who comes in for another, and another and then they don’t stop. Steve's hands are in eddies hair as he pushes them back against the couch, hovering over him as their tongues make acquaintance with one another. He tastes like honeycombs and cigarettes, he smells like Irish spring and something woody… his hands are soft, his lips are softer. The sharp chill of eddies rings slides down his cheek, brushing his neck and then Eddie’s hands on his sides, pulling Steve down flush against himself.  

One of eddies knees slips between Steve’s, spreading his legs so he can rest against his thigh… it makes Steve’s knees weak. He’s never usually this desperate after a bit of kissing, but there’s something about Eddie that gets his motor running and he doesn’t ever want it to stop. He grinds against eddies thigh, sucks on his tongue and gets the sweetest sound out of Eddie as a reward.

His hands slip under Steve’s shirt and his lips move to Steve’s neck, he sucks right on his pulse point which makes Steve’s eyes roll back while he holds in a groan. He was embarrassed to be loud, but it was starting to feel too good to care. 

“What are we doing?” Eddie mumbles between kisses all over his neck and under his ear. 

Steve redirects his face to look at him, stealing a quick kiss that becomes two and then three and he has to pull back with a smile, “I want you.” 

“Yeah?” He smiles, taking a hand out from under Steve’s shirt to brush his hair back. 

Steve nods, “is there a bedroom here?” 

“There is,” he says, pulling Steve down into another kiss only for him to kiss eddies cheek and tug his head to the side so he can kiss his neck this time. He hums, tilting his head back as much as he comfortably can so he can get as many kisses as Steve wants to leave. 

His hands roam Steve’s back over his shirt, over his jeans and into his back pockets where he gives his ass a squeeze. His lips feel so good on Eddie’s neck, he closes his eyes and gets carried away in the feeling, rock hard under Steve as he grinds down against him. 

He lets out a sweet little moan of encouragement, “Steve…” 

“Yeah?” He breathes against his neck between kisses. 

“You feel so good, baby,” he praises and taps his ass a few times to signal he wants him to get up, “but I’m not giving it all to you on this couch, come on.” 

He groans but sits up, the two of them doing everything in their power not to stare at the others bulge in their jeans… but the moon shines in perfectly over the light blue fabric and makes Eddie’s mouth water. He takes his hand and all but drags him down the hall and into Rick's room. 

He pushes Steve down against the bed and drops to his knees on the floor between them, hands on Steve's thighs to steady himself. Then his hands go higher, towards his belt, all while he keeps his eyes on Steve’s. 

He nods, “it’s okay,” he whispers. “Do it.” 

Eddie’s quick to take his belt off and unzip his jeans, he pulls them down to his ankles and palms over his underwear, “I’ve never done this…” 

“Oh,” Steve’s honestly surprised. “It’s pretty self-explanatory… just imagine what you’d like done and do it I guess… oh shit you’ve never had one either?” 

He shakes his head, “no, but I get the gist…” 

His fingers play with the elastic hem of his boxers, he’s nervous but not enough to die a virgin. His eyes widen as he takes him out and sees just how much of Steve he had to work with. And Steve notices, he runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair and leans forward, “so pretty when you drool over me.” 

“Shut up,” Eddie can’t help but laugh, he wasn’t drooling… but he wipes his mouth anyway, stroking over Steve’s length gently. 

He bites his lip and rests back on his forearms, giving himself enough leverage to watch as Eddie leans in and drags his tongue from base to tip. Steve hisses as his tongue flicks over the head of his cock, and then Eddie places a kiss on the head, it's gentle and soft to make up for how he immediately taps his cock against his tongue. 

It's fucking sinful.

In one fell swoop, Eddie takes him into his mouth and attempts to go as far as he can, jerking off what he can't fit in his mouth, he starts to bob. Steve drops flat against the bed with his hands at his sides, gripping the sheets like his life depended on it… Eddie's hot mouth is too inviting, if he doesn’t hold the sheets he’s going to grip his hair and thrusts into his throat and he knew this wasn’t about him… Eddies exploring just as much as Steve is.

He pops off his cock with just a trail of spit connecting them, he works his hand over his length and takes one of his balls in his mouth. Spreading his legs a little bit more, he presses two fingers against the skin behind his balls, making him incredibly nervous he was going to touch his hole… but he doesn’t. He applies some pressure, playing with his prostate from the outside. 

It’s such a new feeling, Steve makes the most whorish moan as his back arches, “ed- Eddie, holy fuck,” he panics, reaching out for him, “I don't want to cum yet.” 

“Okay,” he smirks, standing up with the crack of his knees and a groan. “God, I feel 800,” he complains, reaching for his belt and working his way out of his jeans. 

Steve rips his shirt off and kneels on the edge of the bed, reaching out for Eddie as soon as his jeans are off. He takes his shirt by the hem and helps him out of it, pressing their naked chests together, he places a hand on Eddie’s cheek, “you’re so handsome.” 

“You really think so?” He asks, and Steve can tell it comes from a place of deep insecurity. 

He nods, running his fingers through eddies hair and holding the ends up with a smile, “I watched you grow all this, it took forever… the first time I thought you were really cute it was no longer than mine but super curly.”

“That was in freshman year,” Eddie’s shocked, “really?” 

Steve nods with a sly smirk, “oh yeah… mullet Eddie was hot too, but I think this is my favourite version of you— and not just cause of the hair, you’re really cool. Like the coolest and you’re nice, and Dustin loves you, and you know about all this, so everything about you is everything I’ve wanted.” 

“Don’t get sappy on me, Stevie, I still want to fuck you,” he teases. 

“O-okay,” he melts, the idea making his stomach flip and his cock twitch. 

Eddie smirks, “really, you want that too?” 

He nods slowly, “I mean, I’ve thought about it before— not you, I mean, sometimes, but just like the act of being fucked itself, I’ve thought about that.” 

It makes him laugh, “you’re really cute when you’re nervous… I didn’t think I could ever make king Steve nervous.” 

“Don’t call me that,” he begs. “Not when we’re going to do this…” 

“I’m going to have to work you open, you know that right?” Eddie assures him, “or do you want to do that part?” 

“You can,” Steve is quick with his reply. He really wants him to. “I uh, I kinda showered before I came for this exact reason…” 

Eddies practically growls with excitement, “oh, Stevie, you’re like a dream come true.” 

“Do you think there’s lube here?” He asks, voice timid and shy. 

“Definitely,” Eddie laughs, breaking away from Steve to look in the night table beside the bed, but it's too dark in the room to see anything. He searches for his pants, digging out his lighter he flicks it open, infighting the flame and lighting the way. 

Besides a pack of condoms and lube there’s a pack of a dozen tea light candles too… “these wouldn’t cause too much light right? No one will see these?” 

Steve looks around the room, “I don’t think anyone could see into this room anyway?” 

“Thats enough for me,” he shrugs it off and lights a few candles, handing them to Steve to place on the other night table and on the dresser across from the bed, it lights the room up quite nicely. 

If either of them dies at the end of the week, this is one hell of a way to go out. 

With lube in hand, they crawl back into bed together, Eddie straddles Steve’s thigh and wraps his arms around him and pressing their chests together. Steve smiles at him, brushing his hair back behind his ear. He runs his fingers through his hair, gripping it slightly as he pulls Eddie back in for another kiss. 

There’s a lingering saltiness that Steve recognizes as himself, he loops his tongue around eddies and sucks on it gently, making him buck his hips against Steve’s with a moan. Steves one hand trails down his back to hold his lower back and cradle his head as he flips them over to be on top. 

Eddie lays back breathless and surprised and incredibly turned on by how Steve was able to do that. He runs his hands over Steve’s thighs, admiring his beauty in the candlelight, “you good?” 

He nods, “are you sure you still want to do this?” Steve asks as he reaches for the bottle of lube

“More than you know,” he replied, pulling him in for another soft kiss. 

Eddie took the lube from Steve and popped the cap, running it across his fingers before reaching between his legs. He spreads his cheeks with one hand and circles a lubed-up finger around his rim. Steve tossed his head back at the feeling and gripped Eddie’s shoulders for support, leaning in more to press his forehead against Eddie’s and stretching his ass out.

Eddie pushed one finger in past the rim, making him cry out in pleasure with hot breath against Eddie’s face. He pumped in and out of him, over and over making Steve feel more euphoric than he has with anyone else. He added a second finger after a minute and a third, till finally, he pressed against his prostate, making his hips jerk and his breath hitch. He grips eddies hair tighter, moaning in his ear, it's so fucking hot Eddie could cum just listening.

He pulled out and wiped his fingers against the fitted sheet on the bed. Steve sighs and pulls away enough to grab the condom and rip it open, he moves back enough to roll it over Eddie’s leaking, glistening cock with a smile. He lubes him up, grips him at the base once more and leads him inside. He pushed in, inch by inch till he bottomed out, sitting lightly on Eddie’s hips. 

It’s so intense, Eddie’s mouth opens in a silent gasp and his eyes widen at the feeling. His grip tightens on Steve’s hips, helping him stay in place as he adjusts. Steve looked him in the eyes once more, the beautiful brown orbs that he was beginning to love so dearly, stared back at him softy. He tilted Eddie’s head up and leaned into another kiss before moving his hips slightly.

Eddie moaned against his lips, they weren’t really kissing anymore. The more he moved his hips, the more Eddie moaned causing Steve to press his open mouth against him as they panted together with the friction. 

Eddie finally pulled him close, gripping his back as he flipped them over, pushing Steve’s legs up to his chest and fucking into him deeply. Eddie fucked into him again and again, hitting all the right places as he did so. 

The two of them moaned together, chanting words of praise and appreciation for the moment. “My god,” Eddie moaned into his ear, “oh fuck, you feel so good Steve.”

Steve moans right back, holding him so tight so the moment never ends. Just then, Eddie slows his thrusts and leans in gently to kiss Steve on the forehead. He abandons his grip on Steve’s thighs, letting his legs fall to the mattress before Steve wraps them around his waist. 

He reaches forward for Eddie, gripping onto his back. “Please?” 

“Please what?” Eddie smirks, thoroughly enjoying the way Steve was completely wrecked for him. 

“I uh,” he swallows sharply and doesn’t know how to say it. “Can you change the angle a bit?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course, baby,” he stops completely and reaches up for a pillow, slipping it under his hips quickly and thrusting in a few more times. “Like that?” 

Steve bites his lip and closes his eyes, nodding as he relaxes into the pillow, “mhm, fucking amazing.”

Eddie leans back down, hovering over him as he keeps thrusting. He kisses Steve’s cheek, his jaw and then down towards his neck again. Holding him close, he reaches between them to grip Steve’s weeping cock and jerk him off, matching the speed of his thrusts. 

Steve knows he’s close but all he can say is the word please, he grips Eddie’s back and trembles under him. His legs quake, and that iron-hot feeling in his gut spreads through his body as he releases into Eddie’s hand and all up his chest. Eddie’s hips sputter against him, thrusting in one last time with a guttural moan in Steve’s ear. 

The both of them are breathless, chests heaving in the wake of their orgasms. Limbs go limp, and Eddie gets heavier, but Steve likes the weight on top of him. He runs his fingers over eddies back gently as he starts to calm down, and leans his cheek against Eddie’s forehead. 

Content, not a single regret in him, this is all he wanted. 

“You okay?” Eddie whispers. 

He nods, “perfect.” 

He sits up slowly, pulling out which felt so weird and emotional which left him feeling empty and self-conscious. Even more so when Eddie gets out of the bed and runs off into the other room for a few minutes. He can hear the faucet running, he takes a few minutes and then returns with a facecloth in hand. 

With a shaking hand, he sits on the edge of the bed and makes careful eye contact with Steve. He sits up a bit, nodding cause he knows what he wants and so Eddie leans forward, wiping the cloth over his messy chest to clean him up. “There, all pretty again…” 

Steve takes a hold of Eddie's wrist before he can pull away and uses it to pull him back in for another kiss. Meeting him halfway, he cups Eddie’s face in his hand and holds him there. Breathing him in, he hopes every feeling he had transferred over to Eddie without words because he wasn’t even sure he could find the right ones for these feelings. 

He rests his forehead against Eddie’s as the kiss ends, coming up for air, they don’t move. They don’t talk. They just stay like that. 

Eddie pulls back first and kisses Steve on the forehead, “thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me,” Steve doesn’t want to think about it… why they did do it. “Do you still want me to stay while you sleep?” 

He nods, “if you want to?” 

“Yeah, come here,” he pulls back and the two of them hurry to get under the comforter and cuddled up. 

Steve rests his head on Eddie’s chest, lightly drawing his finger over his tattoo in the near darkness. He wants to talk, he wants to ask Eddie a million and one questions but he doesn’t know how to… and Eddie’s in the same predicament. He stays quiet so he doesn’t say anything stupid. 

But it’s not stupid… it’s love. 

Eddie falls asleep eventually, Steve watches his breathing change and feels his hand still on his back before it slides off with his weightless slumber. He doesn’t snore, not necessarily, but he has this cute little whistle sound he makes when he breathes. Steve smiles as he listens, he’s somehow the happiest he’s ever been when he knows it can’t last long. 

—

He slips out of bed just before the sun starts to rise, he carefully gets dressed and kisses Eddie on the forehead before he sneaks out the back door. His sneakers slip on the dewy grass, it’s absolutely fucking freezing compared to being under the covers with Eddie, he shivers his whole ride back to the Wheelers. 

He gets back into Nancy’s house through her window, he peaks his head out her door and listens for her Fathers snoring… and it’s there. He quietly tiptoes past Holly’s door and takes the stairs just as cautiously. They creak a bit, but nothing too bad. He slips past the kitchen and down the basement stairs to see everyone asleep and Max at the workbench, still awake and writing. 

Well, he thought everyone was asleep… Robin grabs him by the scruff of his neck and hauls him into the laundry room, away from the sleeping kids, “where were you?” 

“None—

“Is that a hickey?” She points at his neck, “you left in the middle of all this shit to get laid? Are you fucking kidding me, Steve? Max is in real danger, you know that right?” 

He’s not sure why he starts to cry but tears well behind his eyes as he nods, “yeah, no, I know… but it’s not what you think… or who you think.” 

“What?” Her demeanour changes when she realizes he’s upset. 

“I uh, I went to see Eddie and let him sleep a few hours without having to be on guard,” he admits and then swallows sharply. “And you remember what we talked about? About different sexualities and shit?” 

“Steve,” she softens, “oh my god?” 

“We can’t let this ruin his life, I can’t lose him already,” Steve cries, the feelings he’s been holding onto for the last few hours just tumbling out of him. 

Robin pulls him into a hug, rubbing his back, “we won’t let that happen.” 

He cries it out with her in the laundry room, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.” 

“cause you found yourself,” she whispers, proud as ever. “Hi Steve, I’m Robin, it’s nice to meet you.” 

He laughs, wiping his tears off his cheeks and gives her a small smile, “hi, Robin… thank you.” 

She pats his arm, smiling back, “always, buddy.” 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @wroteclassicaly @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @eddiemunson-rp 

Steddie

@nosaladallowed-ao3 @maya-custodios-dionach @wifeyreid @girl-with-an-orange-cat

[howdoiliveanymore]

7/28/23 3:17 am

it never feels like enough it never feels like it will be enough for how i am to be justifiable no matter how many professionals (2LMAO) or meds basically tell me otherwise i must have been weak from the start a weak mind everything was too much. i’m on prazosin now it works wonders i no longer am having nightmares (being tortured etc.) or ‘bad dreams’ (normal nightmares for normal people) i barely remember the dreams now it’s nice sleep feels more refreshing it’s weird i want to scream that you people have lived like this i swear to god i mean you think you know until you’re there and it’s wonderful and good and so much better. it’s like when i got my anxiety meds and everything got better and easier. it’s still hard to sleep i keep thinking i’m back /there/ her house green or other just not here i’ll be gone soon 36 days till i’m with her it’ll be amazing awful tiring flashback inducing awful awful freeing the most free i have ever been i’ll be flying i’ll need to learn how i’ll throw myself off the tree again and again until i fly if i fall too far it at least i’ll have tasted the wind i feel so pathetic and stupid and dramatic i can’t wait to be out grandpa died there’s family drama a little bit it’s being run by someone who needs to be in a dementia care center like her husband was but she’s so stubborn and hard headed you can only chip at her she’s floaty. i see myself in all the women i try to be the least like i feel like it’s a cyclical curse i’ll always come back to it i’ll always be her. this would be too me heavy and not enough woe heavy if it wasn’t a diary basically i wasn’t close to him much dads side was never close in the traditional sense still isn’t. there’s too much chnage i want to run and hide and bury deep underground but i keep reading it’ll get better things get better people usually find peace and comfort i have a sick feeling i’ll get to a comfortable place far away from everyone and it’ll all be ripped from me and it’ll happen every time again and again and again i know it’ll happen i hate the future i hate the uncertainty i hate not knowing the right choices i hate not knowing if i’ll end up on the streets if i’ll end up happy if it’s better to cut my losses now i can’t imagine a happy future. i don’t think it exist and the trick is when i finally do truly believe it’s better life is better life is great even see past self you worried for nothing you have all these things it’ll be ripped by whatever gone forever you fucked up lay in your bed it’s gone it’ll happen. i’m actively repressing i’ll see something pop up and i’ll mentally imagine popping that shit in box and locking it and shoving it deeper and deeper it helps me live my day to day life even if it is a burden on my brain idk but i can feel the heaviness of it always it’s like a lead weight in a lake i just have to push it to the furthest end and i’ll reel it in when i can but for now i need it to be gone and be normal and okay. i went through an ounce of weed in a week and a half it was shitty weed but fuck i need to pay my psych

[juviaafullbuster]

IN EVERY UNIVERSE

"JUVIAAAA"

He should have known. He should have seen it coming the moment he heard that blue cat call out her name. Of course nothing good would come from this. That stupid cat, exceed, whatever he is, was raised by Natsu after all.  But he didn't think much of it when he saw him flying towards Juvia, who was currently sitting with the other girls and landing in the middle of their table.

"Yes Happy?"

"Remember what I told you when we came back from Edolas?"

Happy was wiggling his tail excitedly, while trying to hold back from spilling the information immediately. After all, he lives for the drama. Juvia on the other hand was just looking at him, confusion written all over her face.

"Juvia isn't following.."

"You know, about the Juvia in Edolas and how the Gray there is obsessed with her.."

"Oh yes! Of course Juvia remembers that! The other Juvia is very lucky.."

"Yeah, and guess what? She got even luckier. Turns out they've got-"

"HAPPY!"

Gray had to stop him before he spilled too much. Why were they on the other side of the hall anyways? Juvia was always stuck to him whenever he came back from a mission. Why did she have to abandon him now of all times?

"What is it Gray? I'm busy delivering information."

"If you don't shut it that's the last information you'll ever deliver."

At that Happy visibly gulped. Gray was sure he was considering whether it was worth taking the risk. He probably still remembered the incident where Gray had declared him his enemy. Gray himself didn't remember much of what happened, just that it wasn't his proudest moment when he woke up half naked on an island surrounded by strangers. Now however, he was glad it had happened. At least that cat knew what he was dealing with and wouldn't dare to finish that sentence.

"Hey popsicle, are you threatening Happy?"

This just keeps getting better. Of course Natsu had to get involved as well. All he wanted was to enjoy being back home and spending some time with Juvia. And he wasn't doing either. Really, the last thing he needed was Natsu and his damn cat to ruin things for him.

"I don't threaten anyone unless necessary. So if you want to save him from trouble, tell your cat to back off."

"I'M AN EXCEED!"

"Like I care. Point is, shut up."

"HEY, DON'T TALK TO HAPPY LIKE THAT!"

"Stay out of it, flamebrain!"

"IF HAPPY IS INVOLVED, I'M INVOLVED."

"Whatever.."

He just needed to get to Juvia. There was no need to participate in the conversation with Natsu. Not that you could actually hold one. It would always end in a fight and if that idiot doesn't shut up soon, Gray was sure that this will be the case today as well. So he decided to be the bigger person and ignore Natsu, no matter how much he was provoked. However Natsu didn't get the message.

"What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're being weird lately. Happy noticed too, right Happy?"

"Aye!"

"I'm not being weird, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I think it's because he's jealous of you!"

"WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF NATSU?"

"He did tell me what happened.. is it because he has more woman than you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, that snow woman. He had quite a lot on his side, you however just had-"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Like it wasn't bad enough that he was going to tell Juvia about their Edolas counterparts, she really didn't need to know about that whole woman in the depth of his heart thing.

"You're jealous of me?"

"Who's jealous of who?

"Gray is jealous of Natsu."

"Seriously?"

"NO!"

That's it. He's going to kill that cat. But first he'll have to deal with Natsu because he was costing him his nerves as well. So next thing he knew, they were throwing fists at each other until Erza forcefully stopped them.

"What is this about? Explain yourself before I pull out my sword."

"Grays being mean to Happy."

"That's because Happy is stupid! Probably got it from you.."

"SILENCE! Happy!"

"Yes?"

"Explain!"

"Well, Gray is being mean to me just because I wanted to tell Juvia about what we saw in Edolas. I don't see why he's so worked up over it, I mean I was just going to say that they're married."

"Who's married?"

"Gray and Juvia!"

Silence. The whole guild went silent. Well, except for Happys snickering. Gray could swear he felt his soul leave his body. He was certain he would never hear the end of it. After all, he could already feel the eyes on him.

"Gray and Juvia are married in Edolas?" It was Juvia who decided to break the awful silence. Happy nodded eagerly in response to her question.

More silence. Or as Gray would say, the calm before the storm.

"Is that true?" Juvia was looking at him with wide eyes. He knows her well enough by now to know exactly what was currently going on in her head. He could tell her imagination was going wild with wedding pictures. But she was clearly holding back from squealing, instead she kept staring at him, desperately waiting for an answer. Gray sighed.

"Yes.."

And then all hell broke loss. Mira was cornering him trying to find out as much as possible, while Cana kept adding her inappropriate comments. Elfman starting shouting something about marriage being manly, whatever that meant. By the time Gray had managed to escape from them Juvia was no longer in sight.

"Juvia?"

"She went outside, said she needed to cool down."  Lucy smirked proudly, making Gray fear her next sentence. "Good thing you're an ice wizard. Who else could cool her down?"

"Hilarious. I'm going outside."

"Of course you are."

Gray didn't bother reacting anymore. Instead he went to search for Juvia. The cold air outside hit him in the face. It wasn't until now that he realized how stuffy it was in there.

He distanced himself from the guild hall while keeping an eye out for his bluenette. He really had missed her during his mission and now that he was back, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. After all, he had finally acknowledged his feelings for her and after seeing their counterparts in Edolas and that vision he had been trapped in, it just made him long for her more.

Those feelings still freaked him out somehow. He wasn't aware that he was capable of feeling this much for someone. But Juvia had really broken down every single one of his walls. And he was really grateful for that. She was the one who kept pulling him back whenever he was close to the edge. She's his power to live, even though having admitted that so bluntly in front of her still got him all embarrassed. And her teasing didn't help one bit.

"Juvia!" He spotted her on a bench near the lake. She seemed lost in thought. When she heard his voice however, she immediately spun around.

"Graysama! Juvia is sorry for leaving so abruptly.."

"Don't worry about that. Are you okay?"

He sat down next to her. Usually he would leave a space between them, not wanting to give her any ideas. But things changed. And now here he was, sitting as close to her as possible, longing for her touch. Juvia smiled at him.

"Juvia is very happy that you're back."

"I'm happy to be back too. I.." He cleared his throat and looked away shyly. "I missed you."

"Juvia missed you too. Juvia was wondering whether you were doing alright, if you manged to stay dressed and whether the others bothered to pick up the clothes you discarded.." she kept talking but Gray was too focused on her beauty, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky having someone like her in his life.

"I want what they have as well." Gray had blurted out the thought before he could realize it.

"What who has?" Juvia questioned him. He could go back on his word, pretend he never said it. But what's the point? He was just making himself suffer by prolonging it. And he had promised her to be clear with his intentions once he got back, not that he got to finish that promise before he was swept back to Elentir. Point is, it was time for him to be honest.

"I want what Edolas Gray and Juvia have.."

"You want.. you want to marry Juvia!?"

"What? No!"

"No?"

This wasn't going the way he wanted it all. Gray sighed.

"One day."

"One day?"

"Yes, one day I'm going to marry you. But I think it's still a little early for that. To be fair, our counterparts in Edolas are older.."

Juvia just kept looking at him in disbelief. He couldn't blame her. It wasn't exactly his style to be so open and honest. They didn't start dating yet and he was already talking about marriage. Juvia had really impacted him..

"Listen. I want to be with you. Like Edo Gray is with Edo Juvia, like Fairy Nail Glen is with Fairy Nail Juvina.. I want Earthland Gray to be with Earthland Juvia as well."

"What's Fairy Nail? And who is Juvina?"

"That's a long story.. point is I want to be with you. I'm sorry I'm not as clear with my intentions as the other me. But that doesn't mean I want you less than he wants his Juvia.."

By this point Gray was a blushing mess. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, too afraid to see her reaction. He had literally just run her over with emotions.

"Graysama doesn't have to be sorry."

"Huh?"

"For not being as clear with his feelings. I feel in love with this version of Gray, the Earthland version. Juvia wouldn't change a thing about you."

Gray smiled at her. She was truly too perfect. How did she always know what to say? She seemed so calm and collected while he was literally trying his best not to freak out.

"And Juvia would like that very much as well. Earthland Gray and Earthland Juvia being together.." she was looking at Gray sweetly and he couldn't help the smile that took over his face.

"I promise to be the best version of myself for you."

"You already are."

They smiled at each other and Gray tucked behind the hair that had fallen into her face. He found himself leaning closer and he saw Juvia doing the same. He had just closed his eyes, just a little away from finally kissing her after thinking about it for so long, when a voice interrupted them, making them jump apart.

"Gray loves Juvia!"

"Quiet Happy!

"They are so cute together."

"About time he made a move."

How had he not seen them hiding behind that bush. He'll admit Lucy, Wendy and Charles were hidden pretty well, but Natsus pink hair and Happys blue fur were visible to everyone. And Erza hadn't even bothered hiding. He must have been too focused on the girl in front of him to notice. Said girl was now blushing furiously.

"I'm going to kick their asses.."

"Juvia thinks it's sweet that they're so supportive of you. You have a great team."

"How are they a great team? They literally interrupted a very important moment."

"Juvia knows.. but Juvia is very happy already."

"So you don't want me to kiss you?"

"Juvia didn't say that!"

He was truly enjoying teasing her. So much, he was able to ignore his friends presence. So instead of letting them ruin their moment, he leaned in and finally, after so long, kissed her. It took her a moment to react, but once she did, Gray felt like the luckiest person in the universe. He was never going to let her go.

"Juvia loves you very much."

"And I love Juvia very much."

He kissed her again, already addicted. His friends were cheering, probably happy that he finally made a move. He couldn't blame them, it took him long enough.

"All that because I told her about Edolas Gray and Juvias marriage. Imagine what she'll do when she hears about Greige.."

"Who's Greige?"

"HAPPY!"

♡♡♡

Here you have it, my contribution to Gruvia day! I hope you like it, let me know what you think :)

Also, I'm still fangirling over the drawing we got today. Maybe I'll write something about that too one day..

Anyways, happy Gruvia day! ♡

[startanewdream]

Written for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily Prompt #7 (Ice cream + "I don't want anybody else touching you like I do).

Tumblr exclusive at the moment because I don't have a title and the 'happy ending' part of the 'angst with a happy ending' was lost somewhere.

Rated M.

I will love to hear your thoughts about this!

_______________

I.

She is at the end of her round, going towards his cabin—her friends’ cabin, though Lily knows exactly who she is hoping to meet there—when she hears it.

‘—and Potter, what a waste. He won’t ever join him.’

‘We should just wipe him away. Blood traitor, muggle lover—’

‘You mean mudblood lover, Severus?’ Avery’s voice is tinted with malice and there are snickers around. ‘Potter and Evans seem pretty close nowadays. Do you think she gives him everything she denied you?’

‘I would never filth myself,’ comes Snape’s cold reply. ‘If he is tainting his blood, all the worse for him.’

Taint his blood. Is this what Lily’s presence does to James? Is she putting him in a danger he didn’t need to be just by being closer to him?

It’s Snape’s words and she shouldn’t listen to him—the days where she would hear him, would admire him, are long gone—but when she finally reaches the cabin (when James grins at the sight of her, bright and warm, and her heart skips a beat and Lily has to smile back), she sits away from James.

‘Anything wrong?’ he asks, familiar enough to read the tension on her face.

‘No, all normal,’ Lily says, and it’s the first lie.

______

II.

It’s summer and everyone is out of age now and apparating makes things so easy that Lily finds herself less and less at home during that break.

She tells herself it’s because she is avoiding the presence of her sister’s annoying fiance; she blames the fact that Dorcas has a beach house and it’s so much better spending days swimming and tanning; she even goes introspective to blame the pressure of the war looming over them in a way that means she needs to enjoy the last summer break before real life gets them.

But she knows the reason is James.

She finds herself gravitating towards him, unable to resist that attraction even as she knows how dangerous it is for him. Once or twice Lily thinks of telling him about it, of warning how he is stupidly raising his stakes by being near her, but she gives up only for the fact that this (might drive him away and she doesn't want it, not really) would probably just make him want to be even closer to her.

And they are already alarmingly close.

Once Lily would have been repulsed by that idea, but one year later everything has changed—James has changed—and everything about him appeals to her. The way he cares for everyone around him. The way he smiles patiently whenever he is explaining something. The way he grins as if to invite the world to share a great funny joke with him. How he runs his hand through his hair when he’s nervous. How he is so expansive that he seems to occupy any room he is in. How he loves flying, even more than Quidditch, and how relaxed he seems when he is on a broom. How he talks to her, taking it seriously when she needs to and making a joke when things get too serious. How he opens up about his own life and doubts and listens to her.

That would make them friends, really good friends, but then Lily’s heart would not stop racing when he’d touched her hand, or when their knees would bump while sitting closely in the library and then she was forced to note all the physical aspects—the muscles of his arms, the shape of full lips, the line of his jaw, the hazel kaleidoscope of his eyes and how fit he was—and give up any belief her feelings were limited to a friendship.

She fancies him, okay.

Except it’s not okay, because it’s dangerous and by now Lily is positive that James knows it too. Everyone knows it.

They end up together, just the two of them, a lot during that summer. It takes Lily a few days to realize it’s not a coincidence that her interests never align with those of her friends—if she wants to swim, somehow it’s only her and James in the sea; at night, even though it’s still so warm, they are the only ones who venture into the pool for a midnight swim, while the others stay stubbornly indoors.

When Lily suggests going to town to grab an ice cream, somehow James is the only one who is in the mood for it, despite the heat.

It’s not on purpose from his part—at least that’s how Lily sees it—but he isn’t refusing her company either and neither is she refusing his, so James’ boldness flourishes that summer. It’s not cocky as it once would be, it’s just a quiet acceptance that something is finally happening between them as if he never stopped believing it would be possible. Lily feels it when he throws his arm around her shoulders when they are sitting close, almost absently, almost not noticing when Lily lays her head over his shoulder; it’s there when he openly gawks the first time he sees her in a swimming suit, only to be nudged in the ribs by Sirius and then complimenting her ('good thing you wear robes at school, Evans, or there wouldn’t be much schoolwork done'). It’s definitely there when he intertwines their hands, pulling her to the sea with him.

And it’s there when they are sitting closer than they would need for a bench so wide, watching seagulls flying over the sea, each one holding an ice cream.

‘Chocolate chips with chocolate cover and chocolate sprinkles,’ James teases. ‘I think you have an addiction, Lily.’

‘Guilty,’ she replies, not ashamed at all, proving her ice cream and very aware of how James is staring at her. ‘It’s better than asking for vanilla ice cream.’

‘Hey!’ He would look deeply offended if not for the grin on his lips. ‘I’ll let you know vanilla is the best flavour.’

‘Never took you for a vanilla guy, James.’

‘What would take me for? The adventurous gorgeous type?’

Lily laughs, but she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t want to lie to him and deny it.

‘Attractive mysterious type, then?’ he insists. ‘Handsome scoundrel?’

‘I notice your beauty is enhanced a lot.’

‘My beauty? So you admit that I’m beautiful, Evans?’

‘Do I need to? You seem to already know it.’

‘I enjoy hearing you saying all the same,’ he says, and though James shrugs easily she can sense the shift in his eyes, the nervous glint there. ‘That means we would make a beautiful couple.’

‘We would,’ she whispers, still not wanting to lie.

She turns back her attention to the ice cream, already melting under the scorching sun. It makes a mess, and James laughs as she tries to lick the ice cream out of her hands, but then his laugh dies and she watches him swallow slowly, reacting. He always reacts to her.

She licks her lips now, and he also watches this movement, the grin on his face replaced by concentration—no, determination, a fierce look and Lily knows what James will do even before he raises his hand to slide his thumb at the corner of her mouth.

‘You missed here,’ he says, and though he must have wiped off the ice cream already, his caress remains.

His eyes are dark now, even under the sunlight, and he registers how Lily hasn’t stepped back, how she raises her head just the slightest to get closer to him. His gaze strays to her lips, Lily blinks, and then James looks back at her.

‘Lily,’ he says, and it’s a question.

‘James,’ she says, and it’s the only answer she can give him.

His lips find hers and in the bright darkness that surrounds Lily when she closes her eyes, she can see everything in colour. The white of his taste of vanilla. The green of his perfume that reminds her of early mourning in the woods. The brown of his skin as he pulls her closer, one hand holding the back of her neck and the other hand finding hers, locking their fingers together. The red of her blood pumping furiously through her veins, so loud and unstoppable.

And she sees him, messy dark hair, hazel bright eyes, her own sun.

But when they break apart, when she watches him keeping his eyes closed a second longer—savouring it, remembering it—, all that comes to her mind it’s the warning.

Taint his blood.

Her smile falters.

‘James,’ she whispers, all warmth of the day gone, hating everything but herself so much more when he opens his eyes and they are filled with hope. ‘This doesn’t mean anything.’

And this is the second lie she tells him.

___________

III.

Summer is over as far as Lily is concerned, but they still have two weeks in which she forces a smile up to her lips that doesn’t fool anyone.

Everyone knows something happened, though no one knows exactly what, and Lily feels too tired to pretend everything is normal. James barely acknowledges her when they are in the same room, and in the few occasions their eyes meet, there is nothing of that familiarity that he once thrived to share with her. He looks confused and hurt.

Lily could deal with the confusion but she is powerless against the hurt. She is the one who damaged him after all.

Their friends are mostly adamant in letting them deal with the situation, one notable exception being Sirius Black, but Lily didn’t expect anything less from him. He watches her rather resentfully in the first days, and Lily starts looking for excuses to avoid attending the events she had carefully arranged with them (with James, sitting by the edge of the lake, holding a scroll against his back as they wrote everything they would do, laughing and planning and hoping).

The summer days are hot, unbearably hot, and the breeze that comes through the window of her room isn’t enough. She could cast a Cooling Charm, but her wand is far away and the fact that she can cast spells outside school has lost its appeal now. She doesn't even celebrate when her school letter comes with a badge attached to it.

Most of the time Lily just stares at the ceiling of her room, finding patterns in the painting that aren’t really there, too strained and too tired to avoid being even more strained—her mind keeps replaying the moment James leaned closer, the brief moment his breath tingled her skin and the softness of his lips over hers, and Lily has no strength to avoid it. She is addicted to it, to the one thing she had a taste of and cannot have again.

Five days into hiding (she is hiding, Lily won’t deny it), her sister knocks on her door to tell her unceremoniously that one of her freak friends has come to visit her.

‘Hurry, I don’t want Vernon finding him when he arrives,’ Petunia tells her, and Lily ignores her completely.

Him, she said. Him, Lily thinks, and her mind conjures James sitting on the couch of her parents’ living room, a grin on his lips as he charms his way with her parents (he charmed her, Lily doesn’t see what challenge her parents would present), accepting a cup of tea and looking around trying to understand all the muggle contraptions in that muggle house—

Muggle lover. All the worse for him.

She rushes downstairs, her heart pounding on her head, her mouth dry with the excuses she will have to present (go away, just go away) but it’s not James after all.

Sirius looks even more out of place than the James she imagined inside her head, standing with his arms crossed in that pastel living room, and with an unhappy grimace on his lips. He turns at the sound of her, his grey eyes burning disapprovingly—and then, as he stares at her, his expression shifts.

‘You are a mess, Evans.’

Self-consciousness washes over her, and Lily runs her hand through her hair—or tries to, because it gets stuck in the knots of her messy braid. She knows she hasn’t changed clothes ever since she woke up, though it’s nearly midday, so she does the only thing she can: she presses her lips, crosses her arms and tries to look unfazed.

‘I wasn’t expecting a visit,’ she says. It’s summer break, she can do nothing all day.

‘I didn’t even mean your appearance. It was more your… aura.’

‘Aura,’ she repeats, a tiny part of her finding this amusing, but Lily can’t muster strength enough to break a smile. ‘Very mystical, Sirius.’

‘That’s me, master of occult arts. But in this case, I just needed to look at you. You—you look miserable.’

‘Thanks. If that’s all you wanted to say—’

‘Oh, no, I came here to give you a piece of my mind about how you broke my best friend’s heart, but you look somehow worse than him. What’s going on?’

Lily shrugs. ‘Nothing.’

‘So you just decided to play with his feelings and ditch him the moment he corresponded?’

His words are a poison that crawls through her skin, entering it slowly but certain; Lily feels it reaching her bloodstream, spreading through every part of her body, until the poison finds her heart. She thought she was oblivious to pain after the last days, but she was wrong.

‘I wasn’t playing with his feelings,’ she whispers, her voice hoarse, so close to breaking.

‘Then what? I thought—everyone thought—you fancied him too. Merlin, Evans, that boy was in love with you.’

The worst part is that Lily knows it. It was not a play to James, it never was. She saw it in the way his face lighted up at the sight of her, how eager he was to become friends once Lily first extended her peace flag. She saw how his eyes always looked first for her in any room he entered, how he’d find any reason to stay closer.

And she saw everything because she was paying attention.

Of course she was. One does not fall in love also if not paying attention.

‘I don’t know what to say, Sirius,’ Lily says truthfully. ‘I am sorry for all the confusion I’ve caused.’

‘Sorry is not enough.’

‘I know.’

Sirius watches her with something that borders on disappointment now. ‘You better find a way of fixing this, Evans.’

‘I—I don’t know how. I’m trying to keep my distance—’

‘And how is that helping you two?’

It’s not, Lily knows, and that’s the point. She can’t explain to James what is the problem and she is afraid that if she sees him again, if her determination falters her for one second—

‘We are going to have a party tomorrow night,’ Sirius says, his voice leaving no room for argument. ‘Dorcas’ house. It’s a goodbye party, we even invited the muggle neighbours. You’ll come, you’ll find James and you’ll talk. Fix this.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You better find a way, Evans, because that thing of keeping your distance? Well, Hogwarts letter came yesterday. Let me guess, you are Head Girl.’

Lily nods, not understanding where Sirius is heading with this.

‘Guess who’s Head Boy this year?’

____________

Lily hears the music as soon as she disapparates near Dorcas’ house. People, young people around her age, are walking towards the house and she joins the flow letting herself get lost in that stream of people, hoping it’s enough to not draw attention to her presence.

It’s useless. As soon as she crosses the doorway, Dorcas cries for her, her voice louder than the music, and then people look at her curiously.

‘Merlin, Lily!’ Dorcas cries, ignoring everyone in the room to whom that sentence makes no sense. ‘I thought I would need to invade the Prefect’s Cabin to see you again.’

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Lily says, accepting Dorcas’ hug, and using it as an excuse to avoid looking around. ‘I had stuff to do.’

It’s vague, it’s almost a lie, and Dorcas is on the edge of discussing it when Lily says she is going to get a drink, leaving the room.

When she reaches the kitchen, Lily considers that having herself questioned by Dorcas was preferable, because of course she runs into James at the first opportunity.

And of course he already has a company.

He is with his back to her, holding a bottle of beer in his hand while he talks with a pretty dark-haired girl. In another time Lily would find amusing how James obviously has no idea what he’s talking about—muggle rock bands, a subject that Sirius would fare better—, but she can’t break a smile right now, because she sees that James is trying.

That’s what he is doing with that unknown girl. He is making a real effort to keep a conversation, trying to understand what she is saying; he is trying to look interesting, to gather her attention.

Ten days, she thinks selfishly. We kissed ten days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it and you are flirting with another girl.

He must sense her staring; he turns around, and his eyes find her for a brief second before Lily bolts through the door (she is running, and she won’t deny it), grabbing the first bottle she sees on her way out.

Sirius must have lied to her (you broke my best friend’s heart), because James looks normal. Not hurt anymore, just… normal. Not like he used to like her in those first glorious days of the summer—bright and hopeful and awaiting—but as if she is just anyone else. Ordinary.

It’s fair, all things considered. She couldn’t expect him to remain in love with the girl who kissed him then rejected him. But she sees it, clearly as day, what the future holds: James will move on whatever he feels for her (that boy was in love with you) and then he will do with someone else everything he used to do with her—that inviting grins, the glint in his eyes, throwing his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer, so… intimate. Familiar. Hers.

He will share with others what used to be hers.

She leaves the house, in search of a quiet place at the beach to sit on, and looks at the bottle in her hands. Wine. Not good. She will take forever to get drunk on wine and afterwards the headache won’t even be worth it.

But it’s all she has and James is somewhere in that house flirting with a girl (that’s not her) that didn’t reject him and he has every right to do it. Even if it’s a muggle girl. Even if the reason Lily is not with him is that she is muggleborn.

It’s ironic and it’s sad, but it’s not the same. This is a one-night thing. It’s the end of the summer, he’s probably just looking for the last bit of carefree summer adventure as the single guy he is. They will just dance with each other, close together, enjoying their freedom, finding a secluded room, and he will touch the corner of her lips, asking, and she will say yes because that’s the only answer she can give him.

It won’t mean anything, but this time it will be true and this time James won’t get hurt by it.

Maybe Lily should do the same. Not to get even, but to start her own way forward. She can’t be harbouring her feelings for him—wasn’t that the point of not advancing things? Wasn’t that why she lied to him? (That kiss had meant everything)

She takes a sip of the wine, then another and one more for good measure, and she rises, almost colliding with him. Of course.

‘Hey,’ he says awkwardly, arms extended to steady her. It lasts less than a second, but his hands over her arms burn all the same, stronger than the heat any day of that summer.

‘Hi.’

He is looking at a point over her head, unable to meet her eyes, his hand lifting the hair at the back of his head and Lily remembers running her fingers through the strands of his hair while they were kissing, enjoying the fact that for once she was the one messing it.

‘Look, I’m just gonna say it, okay?’ James says in a rush, not as when he is excitedly talking about something he finds interesting. ‘I’m sorry for—for everything.’

Everything. What does it mean?

‘I am too,’ she answers carefully. He takes a deep breath.

‘I heard we are going to be Heads this year—I don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking, really—and I don’t want things to be weird between us.’

Weird. Things were never weird between them before. They weren’t friends, then Lily barely stood him, then they were acquaintances, then they were friends, then they were flirting with each other and then they were so close to something.

But never weird.

Somehow this notion helps to clear the fog in her head.

‘I don’t want it either,’ Lily says, and there is no doubt in her voice. James seems to breathe again with her words.

‘Good.’ There is a moment of silence. ‘Can we forget everything and go back to being just friends?’

Lily steels herself. She takes a look at James’ face—his eyes are on her forehead now, almost meeting her eyes but not yet ready—, one last look to admire him in the darkness of the beach and she is not lying when she says: ‘We can.’

By the end of the night it will be a lie, though, and that’s number three.

___________

They are trying and because no one tries better than James Potter, they are almost achieving it.

They go back to the house, keeping a safe distance between them so no one could misinterpret it, but whatever their friends see in their faces seems to relax everyone. Lily and James are fine, they believe, they are over that weird thing between them, and Lily starts believing it too.

She can do it.

A bottle of gin finds its way towards her group and the music is exciting. It’s a party, she is on a party, and it’s easy to join Dorcas in the middle of a dance, and it’s even easier when Dorcas is replaced by a cute muggle boy who doesn’t look anything like James (that’s why it’s easier—it takes only one second for her to look for any similarity and find none and it’s so easy).

She wonders if that’s why James was talking to that dark-haired girl. If he was avoiding finding Lily in someone else too.

But that’s a bad thought, it’s not a thought of someone who’s trying (and Lily is, she swears), so she accepts his arms, let who-knows-his-name twirl her around the room, but when he leans in to kiss her, she laughs and diverts—she is trying, but it takes small steps, so she says something about getting another drink and goes to the next room.

That’s a mistake.

A big, big mistake.

She finds them sitting close together on a couch that should only fit one, joining some silly drinking game. His arm is around her shoulders, holding a glass that’s nearly finished; they are laughing and as Lily watches it, the girl leans closer to speak something in his ear, her hand playing with the curls of his hair as she speaks. It takes a full second, but he grins, turning to her and winking.

It could be nothing, it could be just some joke, but it’s not harmless, Lily knows it. It’s a flirt, and James has every right to do it; he is free and Lily has just told him they can be friends. Friends don’t get jealous. Friends don’t get their hearts ripped out with the sight of the other smiling happily at someone else.

Lily can’t do it at all.

So she turns away and runs once more (she’s getting quite good at it by now), sprinting upstairs in search of an empty room, somewhere where she can rest until she can breathe again, until she can rearrange her expression into something normal enough for her to come back to the party, find that blond guy who is not James and enjoy her summer break as he is doing right now.

Until she can pretend everything is normal.

‘Lily?’

His voice breaks the silence of that room—though Lily knows she would have heard it anyway—and it sends a wave of panic through her body. She is not ready. She can’t look at him and still keep her promise.

James doesn’t know about her troubles—he is trying after all, and he is so much better at this than Lily will ever be—so he walks towards her, takes a look at her face and kneels in front of her.

‘Are you okay?’

‘No,’ she says, unable to lie. He would see through her anyway.

‘I saw you leaving—what happened?’

‘I need more time. I can’t...’

‘Can’t what?’ She doesn’t answer. James sighs. ‘Are you drunk? Come on, rest a little, I will bring you some water—’

‘I’m not drunk,’ Lily says. Another truth. ‘I just need—I want—’

‘What?’

In answer, she raises her hand and lets her fingers comb his hair. He shivers, his breath catching, his eyes widening and he holds her arm to stop the movement. Nervous. Insecure. She can’t fault him. They’ve been there before, at the edge of something, and she accepted only to turn him away a second later.

‘What are you doing?’

It’s a demand more than a question, and Lily attends it. ‘I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do. It’s mine.’

Her voice is ferocious and unfair and Lily waits for his cold reply, the one she deserves—she has no right to claim any part of him—, but it never comes. Instead, James blinks.

‘Then take it,’ he challenges. Lily does.

Her lips crash over his, and this time is not soft or patient. It’s desperate and when she tastes the whiskey in his mouth, she understands the difference and gladly accepts it. His hands are everywhere—holding her waist, climbing under her skirt, running through her hair to pull her closer—but what somehow stays with her it’s the moment he closes the door and then they are alone and the darkness is their friend.

The darkness makes it easy, embarrassingly easy, for her to break the kiss enough to lift his shirt and for him to slide her dress down and for them to find their way to the bed. He holds her, his lips incessantly, and a part of Lily wonders if he doesn’t want to break apart for fear of what happened the last time he did it.

But the majority of her is too wrapped in the feelings he is bringing to worry about anything. She accepts him, accepts every caress he distributes openly, and returns it eagerly. She tastes the saltiness of his skin, feels every muscle of his chest—the ones she has memorized after so many days at the beach though she had only imagined how they would feel under her fingers—, presses herself closer to him. His hands are exploring her—he saw her at the beach too—and then his mouth replaces his hands and the moan that escapes her lips is true.

She pulls him up, tasting her own sweat on his lips—it was a warm day and it’s a warmer night—and her hands work on the button of his jeans. There is a moment of hesitation—he breaks away, his eyes boring into hers even as the darkness barely allows them to see each other—and then it’s gone. He pulls her last piece of cloth then stands up long enough to take out his last one and then there is only them.

Only Lily and James, except they don’t feel like two anymore. They are one and in the darkness, Lily sees those colours that are so James once more, fireworks whose sounds are moans and short breaths and names whispered so low that the other could pretend they didn’t hear.

But Lily hears it and it’s hers. He is hers for that moment and she is his.

She lied before (and now she knows it). She can’t forget him. She can’t be just friends. James is bright sunny days, cosy cold nights and she longs to share it all with him (she couldn’t, but her mind can’t recall why right now). She locks her hand with his, her nails burying into his skin, and Lily doesn’t want to let go.

He holds her hand, pressing it so hard that she can’t feel circulation there anymore, and then he cries her name, this time impossible to deny it. He called her.

It’s not the last time he will do it tonight. He presses another kiss to her lips—it’s feverish and urgent and somehow even more desperate than the first one—, rests his forehead against her catching his breath and Lily enjoys the moment, enjoys that pleasure and soreness that runs through her body, enjoys how her chest brushes against his as she breathes, slower each time, recovering.

Recover. As if she could.

James breaks apart, rolling to the side and for a moment there is silence, the music distant, the world distant until it’s not anymore, until the world seems too close and the air too heavy, not one breeze to refresh it. Lily thinks of opening the window—it’s already opened, the wind bringing the smell of the sea to the room—when she realizes it’s not the air that feels wrong.

It’s them. No, it’s him.

‘James,’ she calls, panic and fear trembling her voice, coldness spreading through her skin in a way that it should not be possible, not on this summer day.

She can hear him rising from the bed, grabbing his clothes.

‘Lily,’ he answers shortly, opening briefly the door and she can’t see his face. ‘I know, it doesn’t mean anything.’

And that’s James Potter's first lie.

[sereisstuff]

ɪɴꜱᴛᴀɴᴛᴀɴᴇᴏᴜꜱ ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇꜱ

noun

plural noun: curses

1.

a solemn utterance intended to invoke a supernatural power to inflict harm or punishment on someone or something.

Tale of the story: Jungkook; a demigod. Fell in love with a mortal, in most stories the mortals die. What makes you think this one is any different.

Plus size reader (Not implied, but I only write for plus size readers so any, and every story on my page that I’ve written is implied, plus-size reader)

Warnings: self-inflicted harm (not intentionally) mentions of blood. Swearing? very rushed. Little dialogue at times. Angst! Fantasy.

Inspiration was when I was staring out the car window like four hours ago, so do what you will with that information. Song's I recommend is a runaway from aurora and the seed.

Not proofread

Your hair bustled in the wind, mimicking the waves before them. A deafening shriek, melodiously flowing through the air as the heavy roars of Poseidon fell before you. Oh, how you wished this day could end, it was all due to your imaginative stupidity which led you to your untimely decisions. Your curiosity piqued a much greater meaning as you stumbled upon something you shouldn’t have, something so tender that not even your callous human hands could grasp.

It was a warm day when you stumbled upon Jungkook bathing under the waterfall, by far the most exquisite figure you’ve ever laid your eyes on. It was odd, he was handsome, so handsome your mind couldn’t comprehend his features. So defined in the most perfect places but even his flaws held beauty. Something you wouldn't ever say to yourself, you were so busy lost in his exotic features that as you examined him, your once starstruck eyes turned into shocked ones.

His feet replaced by fins connecting his toes, strong legs glistening under the water almost gloss like. If you hadn't gasped aloud, you wouldn’t have caught the creature's focus. His charismatic eyes faded into anguish and he held his breath as if you would slowly forget him, which you wish he implied on you at this moment.

Jungkook was a rather charismatic being, so full of life. He told you many things, the beings he encountered, his descendancy and you were absolutely enchanted by it all. Jungkook went from being the eye that captured you to the person you needed the most. So much had happened that the dangers you encountered soon became normalised. He wasn’t a god nor was he human, he was a demigod.

And you can recall the very moment he told you…..

“You know, I’ve known you for a while now. Yet, you still can’t give me a direct answer as to what you are? Who you are? You know so much about me but I know nothing about you” you asked, it was very true. You often got lost in your rambles that by the time he watched you walk into the night back to your residency, you no longer had time to ask him who he truly was, it was almost like you forgot. Every. Single. Time.

Jungkook stared at his reflection beneath him, toes curling just before the water and he wondered. Was it truly something he wanted you to know, did he no longer honour his people's secrecy, it was as if the water would always be a part of him and just like the tides. He was pulled from his desire to feel ‘normal’, that the other part of him wanted nothing more than to run from the ocean.

“I don’t know what I am either” he spoke, voice tough in correspondence “I’m many things, to many beings. I’m a prince to countless, an heir to others. A beast of life to some, but to you and your people, I am a demigod. A halfling cursed with humanity, I’m telling you this because as we’ve ventured, I’ve given you my trust and you’ve done nothing to betray it” Jungkook's voice was soft, as always. His curious gaze lifted from beneath his fallen hairs, strayed from their roots and moved like silk from his eyes as the wind touched his bristles.

Your bottom lip curled between your teeth in thought, it wasn’t hard to believe because at this point in time. This was the least likely to be the most unbelievable.

“If you're a demigod as you say, and your source correlates with the water. Does this mean your father is….poseidon?” came your question, your needy eyes now meet by his doe ones. His brows furrowed in response as if it was hard for him to communicate.

With his intense gaze, he nodded, ever so slowly. It was a painful nod, one stricken in fear. Jungkooks charisma faded into his clouded mind and you led him astray from his defences. He didn’t enjoy this, his shared vulnerability felt unnatural, it wasn’t the way he was taught. His humanity was often correlated with Beastiality by his people and the emotions that flooded his mind felt so distant to him. It wasn’t like he feared his people, he just feared their intentions with those who they didn’t deem worthy of knowing of them.

“Then why do you seem so human-like, is this my perception of you? Am I meant to know of your existence because if that’s not the answer, must I fear for my life” you asked slowly, making sure every word you spoke made it through to him, your tendency for empathetic traits seemed to come into play and by the looks of it? It seemed sickening to him.

The sun was led astray by the clouds and your moment was soon to end, the lake he visited you was by the ocean. Covered in a deep forest with a subtle pathway of dirt to lead you back home.

Jungkook let a giggle escape his mouth towards your idiocy “You don’t need to fear for your life as long as I’m here. My mother presented herself as a human during the time she met my father, a woman with such beauty had grasped his attention. It’s hard to say why I’m like this because she herself wasn’t a human. My father says it’s because the moment they collided was what I was imaged after but these days I don’t believe much from his mouth” a slight husk to his tone deepened at the mention of his father.

“As long as you're here aye? What are you, my protector? My guardian? Jungkook my saviour” you cooed falling helplessly on his hooded chest to lighten up his dampened mood. The information was enough to suffice your curiosity, just enough to vanquish your questions and you didn’t want to risk his sadness for your rambling mind.

Jungkook lifted a ringed finger, resting it on your head in a comforting motion. Surprising you. You sat awkwardly, legs laid upon each other as you laid on his thighs unintentionally “Protector has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” He asked, his childish tone was back once more letting the serious resonance fade into the abyss of his mind once more.

“More like Jungkook the fish, when have you once protected me, it’s always me protecting you. Like that time a kid tried throwing water at you and I pushed you out of the way” You continued, feeling the heat of your cheeks fire in adornment, he never held you this intimately. Only a peck to those plush cheeks of yours and a hug, usually you were doing the hugging...

“You didn’t need to, I’m not a mermaid. A tale isn’t going to spontaneously pop out of my ass, you just made us both look like idiots” He laughed, sending you into hysterics “Let me have my saviour moment dammit, in my mind that was quite heroic of me don’t you think” you tried lifting yourself from his thigh but his grasp was too strong, that not even your head moved from his stoned hands.

“Not at all, heroism can’t even be the definition of what you did. Maybe embarrassment? Or, even better. Dumbass?” you shot up from his hand, defying his strength. Planting your hands to his side so your face was merely away from his face “I am not a dumbass, I did what I thought was right at the time, I should have let the water hit you, very very ungrateful if I may say so myself” you didn’t really notice the proximity at first, to fired in your own mind to notice Jungkook's doe eyes widen at the mere feel of your breath heating his cheeks.

Your ramble continued as he gulped, heated in nervousness. His eyes turning a pale blue, covering his chocolate brown eyes with a slight desire but mostly fear of his actions.

“Ah, y/n” he tried but you continued over him “-remember that time your fingers started doing that sticking together thing like a fin and I took my gloves off, mid-winter to cover yours which by the way. You never gave back, I don’t care because you can keep them but living under the water and all, I feel like I should have given them my final wishes at least”

Jungkook coughed, staring into your eyes, placing a soft hand onto your hips in hopes of it grasping your attention “By the way, were you trying to make a mako mermaid reference and I’m only just getting it now because that would make me feel like a dumbass, which I’m not. I’m not implying that you are either because you're smart but you're also a dick” Your words were switching so fast that he panicked and planted a kiss onto your soft plump lips.

Oh, how warm they felt, your eyes widened in shock. Feeling his soft lips move rhythmically against your own, unable to comprehend his movements as you stared at his thick lashes coating his lids, finally sinking into his tender touch.

Jungkooks fairly large hands are planted on your wide hips, his touch so tender in fear of hurting you. Even his kisses lingered on your lips as he struggled to move from their enchantment.

From that moment onwards you both lingered on the thought of it, treating the other more softly. Graciously, he treated you like a porcelain doll in fear of losing you. He always kept one hand clasped to your own, for what he called his mystical rope.

But moments like that also end in tragedy because even if you found love. Your demise soon followed you to your meeting place, in hopes of seeing him by the dock you awaited. Staring dreamily at the moon above you, your eyes playing with the stars surrounding it and your heart warmed at the tranquillity falling before you, everything seemed to be so full of majesty.

You were so lost in a daze that you didn’t notice the feet pandering behind you, a hooded figure stood before you, lips uncovered but eyes hidden in disguise. This moment wouldn’t have scared you, unmatched to yours and Jungkook's odd adventures, still, the knife they had in their hand glistened under the moonlight and that made your heart race scarcely.

“Y/n?” they asked, voice full of femininity.

You nodded, eyes in search of their own. “Lighten up, I’m not here to hurt you” they laughed, removing their hood painfully slowly, revealing a young woman. Mid-fifties with healthy skin and strands falling down her face with the colour of lightning streaks befalling them, her doe eyes and thin brows reminded you of something but as you gazed into her eyes, you felt the fear vanquish.

“Who are you?” you asked, it seemed as if you’d been doing that often nowadays.

The hooded woman sat beside you, her large, golden streaked blanket resting on her slender shoulders fell like a pool surrounding her due to its thickness. It seemed warm on the inside. “I am no one.” she gave, wisely making you roll your eyes “no one? Everybody's someone” you replied, disliking the ungiving answer she so happily gifted you.

Her slender jaw spread as she released a mocking laugh “Darling, some want to be perceived as someone. I am the embodiment of no one, by now I know your shock is an action of acting. I know of your adventures, I know of your discovery. So take me as I am because I may come back in a different form next time around; the concept of matter is how you mould it, when you are matter, you are anything.”

“You are no one” you repeated in hushed whispers, to which she hummed in reply “-yes, I come as a heathing warning for you my dear” her long black hair swished like magic around her but she was so unfathomed by it, by everything. You couldn’t even feel her energy, her being was untraceable, it was almost like she was a concept of unperception “a warning? First, you stand before me with a knife, then you lecture me on matter and now I’m receiving a warning for something I may not have even don-”

“No, not of what you have done. What you’ve meddled in, as you may know. The prince you're waiting for” she was cut off by you immediately “How did you kn-”

“I’m speaking” she demanded, she flicked her slender fingers in the with fast-paced movements, the advancement made your posture straighten and your mouth shut, ziplocked “I heath a fate made warning; A prince will someday meet his demise, secrecy is leaked and unfathomable death may plague all lands unless the loved are sacrificed. Unlike many, whom may not understand that. I come to you in the form he was conceived in, despite never appearing before him. I have come to you, I have deciphered the riddle for your understanding. Jungkook has always been the son of the cursed. Unless you sacrifice yourself for him”

“I know your love for him is prudent and rooted in for all of eternity so I ask you this? Is your love so strong that you're willing to lay down your life and wait for him in the next? Or are you so obsessed with what he is that your love is a manifestation of your unlived fantasies' ' she spoke with such anger, your breathing elevated as the moon disappeared within the clouds and her eyes turned a bright blue with black surroundings. Her hair floated in the air and she once more reversed her curse she placed on you, watching you fall to the floor, coughing from the unused air within your lungs.

“What’s it to you? Yo-you were never there for him. He grew motherless, your sudden support seems awfully unwilling” you screamed, her power raised the winds and the tides grew with it. “You know nothing of magick my dear, scream all you want but what’s set in stone cannot be changed by faith. I protect him from the shadows and nurture him from afar. He doesn’t need me, he’s a prince, a son of a god. He can handle himself.”

She stood, using her power to light up the sky around you in an array of lighting. Strong her movements were, the tips of her fingers swirled as a barricade of wind surrounded you both, blocking the outside world off, the anger rising around you couldn’t be heard from your standing point and your fear suddenly grew. Was what she said true? Were you merely going to be a sacrifice in fate?

“Do you love my son?” she asked, this time. Her hands placed on your cheeks, warming them and disclosing your fear. You didn’t hesitate, nodding your head almost immediately, causing her saddened doe eyes to close, squeezed shut in thought. Her cries kept from her throat and she apologised “I’m so sorry for this.” She whispered. Suddenly, her hands lit and your mind eradicated into an unfathomable pain, but just as it arrived. It also left and instantaneously you felt trapped.

You watched from within your eyes, as she gifted you her golden knife. Placing her soft forehead against your own, whispering sweet nothings until she backed away and looked atop into the sky before slowly disappearing into the air like ash.

“No, no, no” you repeated watching as you unleash a cut on your skin.

It was a quick, swift moment. The knife pierced at your skin and sliced your innocence, it was damn near painful but your mind was so overrun with memories that the pain you inflicted upon yourself felt no less painful than the crack in your heart. It was a damned ending from the beginning but just like most, happy beginnings end horribly because it’s too good to be near true.

You were mortified by what was to come but just like the pain of birth, the pain of new beginnings and the entrance to humanity. Death could mimic its transition and your boat was rocking. But you didn’t regret any of it, you knew the moment he told you of what was to come that this was your sacrifice, your tears watering the board creaking beneath you as the raging waves swindled the currents beneath you, at this point. It no longer felt like you were endangered by anything, your trapped consciousness merged into one and you walked to the edge of the dock.

Rivers of blood trickled down your arms and you cried from within, just a moment ago you awaited your love’s arrival but now you’ve become his only path of living. It was all unfair.

But just like that, your will vanished and you fell. The drop wasn’t too far but you did, your hair sunken into the water, the tides pulling you further beneath its weight and you felt weightless. It felt serene, the suffocation of your lungs was unkempt but then again, you couldn’t feel anything. Not even the siren screamed before you as Jungkook saw your floating body and silken blood dragging from your arms like leashes. The gash inside of your belly was doing its unholy work.

He had you in his arms, strongly wrapped behind your head and your waist as he stared at you, eyes stricken in fear and pain, shooting from the wanted with you in his arms, landing on any near-surface. Using his arms as a shield from your pain, he couldn’t understand the sudden change in environment but he knew of whom when he saw your floating body.

All he saw was red.

The rain began to fall from the sky, masking his hefty tears from his eyes. He couldn’t see your breathing so he reached a hand above your mouth, whispering incantations as his tips felt the water pile, lifting from your purple lips and a cough escaping your mouth.

“Come on, y/n. You can’t do this to me, not now” He cried sullenly, “please” he pleaded, resting a head on your cheek, the once tender warmth released with thin streaks of breathing and ice-cold skin, his cries mimicked the thunder as he rested his hand against your stomach praying to the ocean for strength, he no longer cared about himself because in a world without you, there wasn’t a world of hope. Of adventure, of love. He couldn’t bear the thought and if you left, he would too.

He screamed a growl like one as his hands lit in blue, heavy harshed breaths escape his mouth and his heart patterned. He didn’t care for the wind prickling at his raised hairs, the lightning striking before him because if he could save you, he couldn’t save himself.

“Please, breath baby. Please.” he sobbed.

The wounds barely healed as he leant an air against your chest, unable to hear your lively heart. Breaking him further “Why, why her out of all people. Why not me, out of all people you took the one person willing to love me” He wailed into the sky, falling against your corpse body. His tears falling against your salty face.

“Just five more minutes would have felt like an eternity more if you gave me the chance.”

He curled up beside you in the rain, ignoring the storm happening around him. His arm wrapped around your flat body as he sunk into your neck with loud sobs. His smile broke from him and the strings to his heart no longer played its serene melodies as he saw you, riddled with death.

It was churning, moments ago you awaited his love. His oddly cold warmth he provided and now you laid in the eye of all rage. Your thoughts are alive once more, but faintly. Just like the faint beat of your heart that caught the attention of your lover. His weakened hands pushed his body up and laid an ear against your heart, the strum of your strings beating once more gifted him something more, life couldn’t leave your body just yet.

His tears stuck to your face and the magic within them, secured into your veins and simultaneously he watched your wounds turn into sigils of protection, scarred into your body. Your breathing returned as Jungkook hovered above you, his fin-like hands placed beside your messy strands as he tucked the swindled roots behind your pierced ears, awaiting for your eyes to open once more.

“Am I just that important” you whispered barely, the movement of your lips made him laugh in joy. His breathing heightened as his chest pumped in and out.

He gripped your cheeks making you hiss in pain “shit, sorry” he muttered, still eccentric in glee. Just like the sea, you wanted to continue living so you fought fate. The comfort of your lovers' hands against your stricken features was extremely comforting and just like that, the heavy rain turned into hushed whisps.

“I promise to never leave your side again, never” he promised as he straddled your head within his strong arms.

“Fine by me” you coughed, voice still weakened by the taste of death.

Jungkook laughed, staring into the sky with hatred. One day he would get his revenge but for now, his focus was solely on you, and only you “I should have known better, I’m so sorry” he apologised frantically, you placed a hand on his naked arm, shocked that all this time he wasn’t clothed “It’s okay, Jungkook. It’s not your fault”

“You're wondering if I’m cold, goddamit y/n. You were dying and you're worried about me”

You shoved his head weakly “leave me alone, it’s hard not to worry about someone you love”

Jungkook pecked your cheek, tiredly “I love you too”

[stuckwith-harry]

cried out to you alone

“It becomes a part of who you are”, Harry says, some sort of clarity coming to him. “Death, I mean. Grief. It doesn’t have to swallow you whole, but there is a little bit of it in every part of you.”

Impossible, is the only thing Harry can stand to think. That there is still sunlight in the world after everything.

Still, it pours out over the Burrow’s kitchen table in bright, luminous yellow, warming the veined wood. Harry and the Weasleys watch it creep over the tabletop, sitting elbow-to-elbow. Molly and Arthur are touching shoulders and brushing through hair as they pass around steaming mugs of tea, as they pour milk and stir in spoonfuls of sugar, the bags under their eyes swollen and purple like figs.

When Harry tries to open his mouth, to offer help, Molly quickly shakes her head at him; pleading. Like she wouldn’t know what else to do with herself.

So Harry stays, cramped between George and Ginny, and lets her place her palm on his back as she places his tea in front of him. Through the open window, a sweet-smelling breeze comes pouring in, the smell of warm soil and flowers and summer rapidly approaching, which seems impossible, too.

Tomorrow morning, they’re going to get out of bed and make breakfast. They’re going to feed the chicken in the yard, do the dishes and read the newspaper. Still, the sun is going to come up.

For a moment, he catches Ron’s gaze; Ron, whose face is oddly contorted and whose eyes are glassy and bright red. Harry can’t bear the sight of it: he stares at the old mug in his hands, examining the faded red dots, hand-painted. Anything that soothes.

Poppies, he realises. On the inside, near a chip at the rim, he can make out the small letters spelling out Ottery St. Catchpole, and below that, half-drowning in sweet tea: Flea Market, 1988.

A memory, then. One he wasn’t a part of, but one he can envision, anyway, the bright red summer day, the bustling and shuffling of the little village, the shrieking of children, strawberry ice cream rapidly melting and dripping on bare knees; a younger, happier Ron –

The scraping of a chair yanks him back, as Ginny abruptly gets to her feet and walks out without a word. No one tries to stop her, and the small, pathetic sound of her bedroom door closing from atop the stairs sounds down to them as though she slammed it.

After that, only silence. No pots stir in the kitchen sink, no footsteps thunder from several floors above, and no chatter, no yelling, no laughter holds the walls of the house together. No explosions sound from the twins’ room.

Death is an awfully quiet affair.

One by one, as the stripes on the tabletop grow long and orange, the Weasleys crawl into their hiding places. Harry knows he’s intruding, so he wanders outside, following the soft clucking of the chicken pecking away at the dirt behind their wooden fence, the only things alive and making a sound.

The solitude is a relief: he has never wished to flee the walls of the Burrow so desperately, only stayed long enough to change out of the black funeral robes and into an old Quidditch jumper. Then he pushed Ron’s bedroom door open far enough to slip out and disappear, and mercifully, Ron didn’t try to stop him, either.

The jumper is Ron’s, technically. It feels like being held, Gryffindor red and worn and entirely too large for Harry. Somehow that only makes him feel worse.

The Weasleys did not hesitate to take him home with them after the battle, because that was their way. They put up the old camp bed in Ron’s violently orange bedroom like they always had, and Ron silently handed him a pile of hand-me-downs so Harry would have something to wear other than the clothes that still reeked of the tent, of sweat and of blood.

Harry props his elbows up on the weathered fence and buries his face in the soft sleeves, breathing deeply. For a while, he simply listens as the hens, who do not know or care about anything, cluck away happily, as the urge to slip under the invisibility cloak, to disappear and never make a sound again, keeps on rushing over him.

“Hi.”

His heart jumps painfully into his throat at the quiet greeting and the sound of footsteps on dry grass that preceded it, and when he turns around to face it, he’s looking at Ginny. She’s changed out of her black dress robes, too, back into worn-out denim dungarees and a striped t-shirt. Scarlet and yellow. Her hair has come out of the braid from earlier and falls wildly to her collarbones again, no longer to her belly button, like it used to.

“I couldn’t stand the silence anymore”, she says, voice oddly throaty.

Harry wants to say, you don’t have to explain, but before he can, she pushes out: “And then I was in my room and it was just as fucking quiet, and I just – I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

She looks older, Harry thinks wildly. He hasn’t let himself look at her, not really, doesn’t even know why, just that he’s been avoiding her most of all. Ever since May 2nd, the quiet between them has stretched and stretched over miles and oceans and continents of wasteland. Harry knows it’s his fault, that he should say something, but he has no words, no words at all.

The first morning after the battle, when he came stumbling into the common room and found her there, they just held each other, and he had no words then, either. There was sunlight there, too, he remembers suddenly, poking through the shattered windows and lighting up every particle of dust floating around the empty room.

“Can we go somewhere else?”, she asks, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Anywhere else?”

Harry nods, mouth dry. For a moment, her eyes seem to linger on him, but then she turns away without another word, and he follows her lead without question or objection. They don’t speak again until they reach the old broomshed, and Ginny suddenly turns to look at him again, face unreadable.

“Any chance you wanna go for a fly?”

“Wh-What?”

She shrugs. “Do you?”

It’s a strange time capsule, the shed. Ginny pushes the wooden door open and sends flurries of dust into the air, catching sunlight; Harry, who is standing behind her, catches a glimpse of Arthur’s old Muggle trinkets and the old brooms lined up against the wall. Ron and Ginny’s are closest to the door; the twins’ brooms are up on a shelf opposite the square window.

For a moment, Ginny is perfectly still, and Harry knows she is looking at them, too. Then she reaches for her broom and silently pushes past him. Harry grabs Ron’s and closes the door of the shed behind him, and together they wander away from the Burrow, over the hills that surround it, where wild poppies are peeking through the unkempt grass and weeds.

Harry thinks he knows where she’s going: their makeshift Quidditch pitch hidden between gnarly old trees from summers long lost, where they used to chuck apples and tennis balls at each other, during all those afternoons spent playing Quidditch two against two.

Tall, sweet-smelling yarrow brushes along their bare shins as they walk, and pink clover, the soft heads bending back to the earth under the weight of bumblebees passing by, thick dandelion leaves spread all across the ground amidst the weeds; and everywhere poppies, peeking through the tall grass, the paper-thin petals fluttering in the breeze.

Tucked behind another hill, Harry remembers, a few minutes on foot further north, is the lake where they whiled away happier summer afternoons than this. The image comes to his mind in bright, sunny colours, Ginny’s wide, toothy grin as she sneaks up on Ron, the thundering splash and Hermione’s piercing shriek, and Ron, emerging, spluttering and yelling, his sopping hair plastered to his face.

But that was centuries ago, and their full-bellied laughter seems miles and countries away already. Here, only silence. Harry wants to ask, are you okay?, or say, it’s going to be alright, but what good would it do?

The poppies are early: they’re not supposed to bloom for another month. There’s no end to them, no matter how far they walk, a sea of red stretching out all over the soft hills. Harry can’t tear his eyes away until the first beech trees they used to climb, black pines and yews throw cool shadows over their heads.

Strange, that it looks the same. The leaves up above their heads rustle softly as they mount their brooms, and Ginny shoots into the air, a quiet cannon. For the better part of an hour, they zoom in circles through the rapidly cooling air, chucking an old Quaffle back and forth at each other. Ginny’s throws are hard and unrelenting: they’re not keeping score, but she’s playing like it’s the last game of the season, like the House Cup depends on it, so Harry lets her exhaust herself. By the time they sink back to the ground, the sky over the meadow is dotted in shades of pink and red.

Ginny hits the ground with such force her knees buckle under the impact and hit the dry grass. Harry gasps, but she is already getting up again, brushing off the dirt without comment.

They find a spot at the outer edge of the pitch and slump into the tall grass with their backs leaning against an oak tree, where they can see the sunset falling on the soft hills and the Burrow in the distance, bright red like poppies. Ginny’s hands are uselessly holding her ribs, her warm eyes staring off into nothing.

“Feel any better?”, Harry asks after a while.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

She shifts next to him, tucking her scraped knees to her chest. They look like she’s spent all summer climbing trees and rolling down the grassy hills around the Burrow and crashing her broomstick into her brothers in a spectacular grab for the Quaffle.

“At least I feel a little less like I was buried with him”, she mutters.

I’m sorry, Harry wants to say, but that seems useless, too.

“I wanted to leave, too”, he says finally. “It was so quiet in there.”

“I hate it”, Ginny says softly. “It doesn’t feel anything like home when it’s like this.”

“I’m sorry”, he says despite himself, for what feels like the thousandth time since everything. “I shouldn’t be here.”

Ginny's brows furrow slightly, as if to say, yes, you should. “If you weren’t, I’d still be shut up in my room right now. Going mad, probably.”

After a short pause, she adds: “I wouldn’t know who to talk to.”

It strikes Harry like lightning: she was looking for him.

She looks over at him as though searching for something. Her brown eyes glow golden in the warm light, like honey, her whole face painted in reds and oranges and pinks.

“How do you do it?”, she asks finally, voice quiet, but steady, as the soft breeze continues to rush through the trees. “How do you lose everyone you’ve lost – and go on living? How do you live with the dead?”

Harry looks at her, the way she sits cross-legged and hunched over in the grass next to him, arms hugged to herself, and it sinks in, what she’s searching for, what she’s asking of him.

“It’s not the same”, he says softly.

She scoffs quietly. “How is that not the same?”

Harry looks around their hiding place. Maybe it’s the creaking of old branches around them, almost a murmur, the smell of the trees, that brings them back: his parents in the Forbidden Forest, walking towards him, Sirius’ bright grin, Dumbledore at King’s Cross Station.

The thought of them cuts through him, every beat of his heart sharp and stinging as they remain dead and he does not.

“Your speech”, he says finally, and watches her jaw clench. “I couldn’t have said anything like that about my parents – or Sirius …”

“I can’t believe I wrote him a fucking eulogy”, Ginny mutters, staring at the weeds to her feet, the patches of moss creeping across the earth under the wild, entangled grass. “It makes it feel so fucking final.”

“You did really well”, Harry says. “It was beautiful.”

She merely shrugs, and he doesn’t blame her.

“I’m glad I got to say something, I think”, she says after another stretch of silence. “But, Merlin, he was walking and talking and making jokes just a week ago, and now he’s six feet underground and I’ve written a double-sided page on how sorely he’ll be missed.”

She wipes her nose on the back of her sleeve.

“Up until today, I really thought he might jump up and laugh it off and make fun of us for falling for it.”

You made it feel like that today, he wants to say, but doesn’t.

“I’m so sorry, Ginny.”

She read it out with a completely steady voice, both fists clutching the slip of paper in her hand. She did not bother to find a silver lining this time, or to look for meaning at all; but every word seemed to bring Fred back to life a little, even earning a few teary chuckles from the other Weasleys. Every anecdote and every prank she recounted was a testament to the fact that Fred Weasley had been alive, that he had mattered, that he had left an impact on her, on all of them.

“You know my Mum had brothers”, Ginny says suddenly, looking over at Harry’s hands. “Fabian and Gideon Prewett.”

She points, and Harry realises what she’s really looking at: Fabian Prewett’s battered old watch on his arm.

“They died in the first war. Bill, Charlie and Percy say they remember them a little, but the rest of us just grew up hearing stories.”

She picks at the shallow wound on her knee, where droplets of bright red blood have pushed to the surface through the cracks in her freckled skin. “It’s why Fred and George are named after them. A little bit, anyway – you know, Fred and George … Fabian and Gideon … Mum was pregnant when they died.”

Harry swallows. “I didn’t know.”

Ginny smiles sadly. “I liked the idea that they got to live on in the twins a little. I never thought to ask Fred and George how they felt about it, actually. I can’t imagine … how Mum feels.”

Harry watches her wrap her arms around her legs, watches the strawberry blond hairs on her shins stand on end as the air cools around them. She looks tired, but her eyes are dry.

“I never made that connection”, he says softly.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you”, she says. “It seemed important.”

Even over the rustling of the trees, the chirping and creaking all around them, he can hear her clearly, her voice steady, unwavering.

“Do you miss him?”

“Yes.”

She looks around at him. “Do you not miss your parents?”

“I don’t know how”, Harry mutters. “Your speech … it was full of memories.”

She doesn’t respond, understanding silently. Then: “What about Sirius?”

Harry shrugs. “He never really got to be my godfather, did he? Not the way he was supposed to, anyway … there wasn’t time. And I don’t remember when my parents were alive – I’ve never known anything else.”

He looks at her, the way she’s quietly watching. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you were hoping to hear.”

Ginny dismisses it with a half-hearted gesture, lost in thoughts somewhere else.

“Do you think grieving someone is the same thing as missing them, then?”

“No … do you?”

She seems to consider it for a moment, then shakes her head.

“I just – I just want to talk to him and tell him what’s going on, and I think about how long it’s been since I’ve talked to him and how much I wish he were here and how I’m not gonna get to talk to him –”

She pauses mid-sentence, as though looking for words, and doesn’t find any.

“And then I think about the fact that he’s dead. That his life is over. And that I helped bury him today. And they’re both – awful, but it’s different, I guess.”

Harry nods, more to himself than to Ginny this time.

“And now, I just – I need to know what to do. So it doesn’t swallow me whole.”

Harry is still watching them walk towards him before his inner eye, his parents in the Forbidden Forest, his mother’s hungry face.

“I forget, sometimes”, he says. “For a moment, I think I forget they’re gone. Or I’m – I don’t know, distracted, and I’m not thinking about it – it slips away, and then it hits me again.”

Ginny’s teeth dig into her bottom lip. “I … honestly can’t fathom it right now.”

Harry looks over at her, the way she sits next to him, curled into herself, her hands still uselessly holding her ribs. Like it is physically hurting her.

“I dunno. Maybe forgetting is the wrong word. But when it happens, it always feels like it’s happening to someone else, like I am someone else.”

Ginny watches him intently as he stumbles to the end of his sentence: it feels pathetic already, having said it out loud like that.

“Like you are who you would’ve been if they hadn’t died?”, she asks, in that quietly remarkable way of hers, where she doesn’t treat him like something delicate, but she doesn’t ask for more than he can give, either.

“Yeah, I reckon. But I don’t recognise him at all.”

Ginny hums in understanding. She leans back against the bark of the tree and pulls her knees to herself again. “You would’ve been happier, anyway.”

Harry turns away at that, suddenly not trusting himself to speak.

“I know it doesn’t make sense or anything –”

“No, it does, Harry.”

“I mean, I know they couldn’t have lived. Everything would have to be different. We probably wouldn’t be here.”

Ginny sits in silence for a while.

“Do you ever wonder?”, she asks finally. “What you would’ve been like?”

“I guess … more like them. In ways I can recognise, anyway.”

He gestures helplessly at nothing, and Ginny takes that as a sign to push no further.

“I don’t recognise Ginny a week ago, either”, he hears her say, and the muffled sound of her voice tells him she’s wiping her nose on her sleeve again. “Every time something terrible happened, I guess I didn’t. It’s like remembering an old friend. One whose address you lost or something.”

“It becomes a part of who you are”, Harry says, some sort of clarity coming to him. “Death, I mean. Grief. It doesn’t have to swallow you whole, but there is a little bit of it in every part of you.”

“Cheery”, Ginny says in a hollow voice.

“It gets less all-consuming”, he says softly.

“Good”, she mutters. “Right now it’s pretty fucking all-consuming. It’s there when I wake up in the morning, and it’s – in my tea, and on all my clothes, and it’s in everyone I talk to and everything I say.”

Harry stares at the sky overhead, the red rapidly paling. Still, there is that whispering in the treetops, the feeling of being transported back into the Forbidden Forest. Still, his parents, reaching out for him.

“I’m sorry”, he says truthfully. “That’s all I’ve got.”

Ginny shakes her head. “It’s all I needed.”

He watches her tug at a poppy near her feet, struck by how long he’s managed to stay away from her, when her company is so comforting. The resolution comes to him all on its own, that he’s going to tell her everything. The Forbidden Forest. King’s Cross Station.

“Do you want to head back yet?”

Ginny looks at him, and she seems calmer somehow. For the first time since they got here, she doesn’t seem to be searching for anything – just looking.

“In a little while”, she says.

Harry looks back at her, really looks at her, and for a long time, neither of them speak, having arrived at some quiet understanding. Still, there’s a murmur in the trees around them, but they pay it no mind, and they don’t turn to look.

[blossom-hwa]

Skipping Stones - KEVIN

This was the second full scenario I ever finished for The Boyz and I think it was pretty nice to start with some soft Kevin :D THANK YOU KAI FOR LETTING ME YELL TO YOU ABOUT THIS ONE I HOPE IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 

Anyway! Happy (slightly early but only by a couple hours??) birthday to one of the best boys in the world, the one and only wonderful beautiful lovely Kevin Moon! I hope you all enjoy this <3 please reblog if you did!

Pairing: Kevin x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, teacher!au

Triggers: cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 7.8k

Falling in love with you, Kevin thinks, is a bit like skipping stones. 

Alternatively:

Five times Kevin felt himself falling deeper in love with you, and the one time he knew he was gone.

TBZ Masterlist | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live

prelude.

Kevin knows he exists to be clowned. His sister says it’s something about his face – there’s something undeniably meme-y about his reactions, apparently, that makes him very clownable. His students tell him it’s in his demeanor – he comes off as pretty chill, according to them, which makes him easy to tease because they know he’ll react in some hilarious way, but it won’t affect him too deeply.

(Changmin just says he’s stupid, which makes him clownable to the highest degree, but Kevin refuses to take information from the teacher who still scares him every other week with whichever horror movie mask has recently caught his fancy.)

So Kevin knows he’s just a clownable human being, and he’s resigned himself to that fate for the rest of his life. But around you? His calm, collected, hilarious, wonderful partner? He expected a little less clownery and a little more loving.

“Oh, come on,” you laugh, trying to get Kevin to turn around. Honestly, he’s already feeling the effects of withdrawal from not seeing your smile for more than a few minutes, but he refuses to budge, lips curved downwards in a semi-permanent pout. He knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long (he’ll miss looking at your face too much, and really, he can’t be mad at you about anything), but he can make a scene. “Kevin!”

“You’re so mean,” he whines, still resisting your efforts to make him look at you. “I just poured out a very embarrassing part of my childhood to you and instead of comforting me, you laugh?” His pout deepens. “I don’t know why we’re dating.”

Your hands leave the back of his shoulders. For a second, Kevin thinks you’ve given up and he’s about to start whining about that too, but then you appear in front of him, fingers clasped placatingly. “All right, all right, Kevin.” Still grinning, you grab his hands. “I won’t tease anymore. But seriously, how could you expect me not to laugh my ass off when you told me you learned to skip stones for the –” you make jazz hands, presumably to emphasize your point – “aesthetic?”

Kevin sticks his lip out childishly. “I didn’t think it was that funny,” he mumbles.

“It’s not, not really.” You squeeze his hands. “But it’s a move that’s got Kevin Moon stamped all over it.” As if to accentuate your point, you snort. “Of course you’d learn to skip stones for the aesthetic.”

“Y/N,” he whines.

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Your teasing grin melts into an eager smile. “Hey, teach me?”

“Right now?”

“Why not?”

It feels like Kevin’s physically crumbling to pieces with the way your hopeful voice and sparkling eyes just attack him from all angles. Grudgingly, the deep pout on his lips stretches into a smile, the starstruck smile that all of his friends like to tease him for. “Fine, let’s go.”

He spends the rest of the afternoon stepping around small children and younger couples, trying to find suitable rocks for skipping and teaching you the right angles, the right stance, the right way to hold the stone in your hand before sending it into the water. You learn fast, something he envies – where it took him at least a couple of weeks to perfect the art, you (mostly) pick it up in a matter of hours – but he can’t feel too jealous or too bad when you look up at him after your stone skips once on the water. “Kevin, I did it!” You shake him slightly. “Did you see that?”

The softest smile spreads across Kevin’s face as he kisses your forehead softly “Yeah, I did.”

When he pulls away, you give him the brightest grin before scrambling away to find more stones to skip. Kevin just watches, taking in the way your figure looks against the setting sun, bright gold and pale pink light streaming over your body, almost making you glow.

This is why he fell in love with you, he thinks. Your character, your tenacity, the way you throw yourself into every task you’ve been assigned so that you can complete it as best as you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to treat a new cancer case at the hospital or trying to skip a stupid rock across the water. You always give it your all.

Idly, Kevin picks up a stone of his own. With a practiced flick of his wrist, it goes sailing onto the lake, skipping three, four, five times before sinking beneath the surface.

Falling in love with you is a bit like skipping stones, he thinks, watching the stone disappear from sight. Someone had to force him into that first blind date with you, much like making the first toss of the stone into the water, but every skip after that was quick, effortless, the way he felt himself falling for you, step by stumbling step, until his heart finally gave in and sank below the waves of your warmth.

It’s hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with you, even though such a time did at one point exist. But the way you make him feel with the smallest things you do – the way you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, the way you rest your chin on your hand in thought – it feels like he’s known you for an eternity and loved you even longer, loved you before time existed.

Your stone skips twice across the water and you shout with joy, racing up to Kevin to celebrate. He catches you when you leap at him, arms wrapping around your waist automatically, smiling into your shining face. Yes, he thinks, he’s in love.

He’s so in love with you.

. . . . .

i.

Kevin, by all definitions of the word, is panicking.

He’s been dreading this blind date for almost a month now, circling the day on his calendar and marking it D-Day, begging Jacob and Changmin to come along and hide in case he needs to be bailed out, relentlessly praying that he’ll be able to leave the stupid date in one piece.

(Look, as much as he appreciates Mrs. Park’s kindness and her brownies, she can be… a little overbearing. To say the least.)

Just a few hours ago, he was putting on his yellow sweater and bemoaning the existence of his pushy coworker. Just a few hours ago, he was lamenting his fate to his two friends (friends is a term he will use loosely for today – all they did was laugh at him). Just a few hours ago, he was cursing the existence of Mrs. Park and her brownies for getting him locked into this date with her sister’s kid. Wait, was it her sister? Or her brother?

(“Yes, her sister,” Changmin says, rolling his eyes. “Pay more attention, won’t you, Kev?”

Kevin groans. “Why couldn’t either of you be chosen by Mrs. Park, huh? Why me?”

“Because I have a partner and Jacob is good at disappearing.” Changmin grins that evil, evil grin he always has on just before he’s about to execute a prank on someone (usually Kevin).

“More like the two of you are good at leaving me to fend for myself against Mrs. Park, even though you know I can’t say no to shit,” Kevin grumbles.

“Give up her brownies,” Jacob suggests.

Kevin gasps. “No way in hell.”)

But now, he’s actually sitting across from you in a café not too far from his apartment, holding a cup of coffee between his (visibly shaking) hands. And he can’t even think of why he was dreading this date so much because you’re just… really, really perfect.

Why are you so sweet? he’s screaming inside. Why are you so funny? Why are you literally the perfect mix of snark and kindness and just – everything?

“So my aunt told me you work with her,” you say, seemingly oblivious to Kevin’s jitters. The smile on your face is really sending electricity racing through his heart. “I know the children must be fun, but I know she can be a bit… overbearing.” There’s a hint of apology in your eyes, like you know your aunt must have pressured him into this and you’re sorry that he had to come on a date with you.

Kevin’s stomach flip-flops. Okay, so Mrs. Park maybe did severely pressure and sweetly blackmail Kevin into a blind date. But Kevin also doesn’t want you to feel bad for it because it’s not your fault at all, so as usual, when he finds himself in a tight spot, his mouth decides it’s time to run.

“No, your aunt is really nice,” he starts. “I really mean it – she’s always very kind to the kids and to the rest of us teachers. I’m still kind of new compared to the rest of them – I’ve only been at the school for a few years now – but she helped me feel welcome that first year when I was still figuring things out. And she also likes Beyonce! You know, the greatest female artist there is? She let me play my entire playlist of Beyonce songs for her last year and she liked every single one of them!”

Kevin’s babbling now. Rambling. Whatever he wants to call it. His brain is screaming for him to stop talking but his mouth won’t stop running because this is what he does when he’s nervous. He talks. Endlessly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the table where Changmin and Jacob are situated in case they need to rescue him from mental or physical harm. The top of Changmin’s head is barely visible behind a huge menu so Kevin can barely see his friend, but somewhere in his babbling haze, he notices a phone camera poking out from behind the menu.

If he wasn’t blushing before, he definitely is now.

Finally, his mouth listens to his brain and he trails off on his last thought on why Beyonce is the best artist in the entire world. There’s a second of silence.

“Sorry,” Kevin finally squeaks. “I… tend to ramble when I get nervous. Or when I talk about Beyonce.”

Your smile flashes even wider. Kevin is torn between wanting to melt into the ground out of embarrassment and staying upright to keep seeing that grin on your face. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you laugh, fiddling with your cup of coffee. “I thought it was cute.”

Kevin’s face burns so much that he misses what you say next. “Sorry?”

You grin. “I’m always interested in hearing about a new artist to add to my playlist.”

Kevin lets out a theatrical gasp. “You don’t have Beyonce in your music library?”

A sheepish look spreads across your face. “… No?”

“Oh my God.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “Okay, I’m about to educate you on the artist of our time.”

The afternoon, then, passes in a flash. Changmin and Jacob eventually just up and exit the café (presumably with enough blackmail to last the rest of Kevin’s life – he knows he was acting like a complete fool, but luckily, you didn’t seem to care), leaving him alone with you. Under any other circumstances, he probably would’ve started crying, but you’re so sweet and so interesting that Kevin thinks he could stay and talk to you in this café forever.

He learns you’re an oncologist at a nearby children’s hospital, that even though the work is hard and tiring and sometimes overwhelmingly depressing, the strength of the children and the families you work with inspire you to keep going every day. He learns that you don’t have too much of a sweet tooth (though you won’t say no to ice cream or cheesecake, both of which he notes in his head), he learns that you love coffee, and he learns that you like to take walks in the park whenever you have a little bit of free time.

He also learns that you’re snarky, intelligent, driven, hardworking. He learns that you’re something far beyond the beauty of your face – that underneath your skin, there’s a heart that’s warmer than the sun.

Kevin understands that this is only the first date and that he maybe shouldn’t be making judgments so quickly. But he’s been told that he’s a relatively good judge of character, and the genuine look in your eyes when you talks speaks volumes about the person deep inside.

Even though you live further away, Kevin takes the bus with you to your home, citing that it’s only polite to walk one’s date to the door (in reality, he just wants to spend a little more time with you). As the bus rattles along the road, Kevin lets you listen to the songs on his phone, delighting in the way your head bobs to the beat of his favorite tracks.

Kevin’s a bit sad when you reach your apartment, sad that your time together is over for the day. He lingers outside the building for a moment, trying to work up the courage to ask about a second date.

Suddenly, you lean forward. Kevin jerks back – he briefly wonders if you’re trying to kiss him – but you just pat a spot on his sweater, frowning slightly at your fingers. “Is that… paint?”

Oh my God.

Kevin tugs the material of his sweater forward so he can see the spot you’re pointing at. Sure enough, there’s a small patch of red paint on the yellow fuzz. He groans. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Well, that’s what people like us get for working with children.” You roll your eyes comically, and Kevin bursts into laughter that’s definitely too loud for the small joke you made. Then silence falls again.

You break it. “Listen, Kevin.”

He perks up. “Hmm?”

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this date because my aunt has been trying to set me up with people my age for several years now.” For the first time today, you look shy. “She was probably really pushy with you too, so I’m sorry about that. But I really enjoyed this afternoon.” You meet Kevin’s eyes. “If you’d like, I’d love to go on a second date.”

Kevin’s heart explodes. It really does. Sheer excitement courses through his veins, and he has to stop himself from smiling widely enough to mimic a god damn clown. “I’d love that,” he says trying to hide how eager he really is. “Um, I’ll say that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this either, mostly because my experience with blind dates has had… limited success. But I’m really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person.”

Your smile grows wider at Kevin’s admission. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful too.”

“Do you kiss on the first date?” he blurts out because his brain has no filter. Then he backtracks. “Um, it’s totally okay if you don’t, I was just asking, please don’t think I’m a creep –”

You briefly press your lips to his. Kevin shuts up.

When you break away, Kevin honestly thinks you’re glowing. “Does that answer your question?” you ask, bravely trying to hide something – is that embarrassment? Whatever it is, he thinks it’s adorable.

Kevin blushes. “Yes.”

People probably think he’s insane with the way he’s smiling on the bus ride back to his apartment. He can’t help it, though – the tingling touch of your lips, gentle against his, plays over and over in his mind, along with memories of your lovely voice and your lovely smile and your lovely, lovely disposition. Some people are giving him weird looks, and Jacob and Changmin are sure to tease him to no end when he comes in to work tomorrow.

But who cares? Kevin’s got a second date in the works with one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.

In his mind, he’s on top of the world.

. . . . .

ii.

Usually, when Kevin gets lucky and scores a second date or a third, he suggests taking his date somewhere with children to gauge how they feel about small toddlers tearing up the place. Children are a huge part of Kevin’s life – he teaches elementary school and knows he wants kids when he gets a bit older – so one of the silent standards he’s set for potential significant others is that they have to like and be good with children.

You work at a children’s hospital, Kevin knows, so you must at least be good with kids, even if you might not like them (hey, it’s possible – Kevin has known many people who are good at things they hate). That fulfills half of the standard. He just needs to gauge the other half.

There aren’t many events at the school coming up, though – no plays, no art exhibitions, nothing he can really invite you to. He’s racking his brains for a third date somehow involving children when you unexpectedly call him about an event at the hospital.

“I know it’s last minute,” you apologize profusely, “but the guy who was supposed to come today for the kids’ music hour called in sick. I don’t want to cancel the event because they always look forward to it and I know you play the piano – would it be possible for you to fill in?”

It is possible, it turns out. He may not be able to pack his Yamaha upright into the back of your car, but he does have an electronic keyboard that fits into your trunk. The whole way there, you’re apologizing, but between reassurances that it’s totally fine, Kevin can’t help but anticipate how you’ll act around the children once the two of you arrive.

Setting up takes more time than he’d like (the extension cord that comes with his keyboard is too short, so you disappear on a twenty-minute manhunt for a longer one while Kevin just stands there awkwardly), which makes him feel slightly like a burden on the rest of your coworkers. They’re so polite, though, so genuine and kind, that Kevin eventually starts to feel more at ease.

(He’s still endlessly grateful when you return, extension cord clasped victoriously in one hand.)

Then the kids start trickling in, and Kevin’s heart immediately both breaks and melts. Some are in wheelchairs, others have lost their hair, but they’re all smiling with so much excitement, chattering to their parents and the staff around them as they settle on beanbags and pillows on the floor. Several look at him curiously and he smiles at them, prompting several questions about who he is, why there’s a keyboard and not a guitar, and why the normal guy isn’t here.

“The usual guy got sick and couldn’t come,” Kevin says to one sweet girl with chubby cheeks and shining eyes. “I’m just here to replace him for a day.”

“Do you play the piano?” she asks, shyly pointing at the keyboard, which more than a few curious souls are standing around.

Kevin smiles. “Yes, I do.” He would say more, maybe offer to show her the instrument a little, but then you’re walking over, and her eyes brighten. “Dr. L/N!” she cheers.

With a loud laugh, you swoop her up carefully, cradling the girl against your shoulder. “How are you, Daeun?” you ask, lips spread in a smile that Kevin knows can’t be faked.

The girl – Daeun – grins. “I’ve been good!” she announces proudly. “Are we going to start soon?”

You laugh again, settling her back down on the floor. Kevin thinks his heart melts with the way your eyes sparkle. “Yes, we are,” you say. “I see you’ve already met Kevin?”

“Your name is Kevin?” Daeun looks at him curiously. “Your name is strange.”

Kevin has to force himself not to coo. “I was born in Canada,” he says. “My Korean name is Hyungseo.”

Daeun’s nose scrunches. “I like Kevin more,” she decides with finality.

Kevin feels brave enough to pat her on the head. “Then you can call me Kevin.”

“All right, Daeun. Go find your mom, okay? Kevin and I are going to finish setting up, and then we’ll get started.” With a soft kiss on the forehead (Kevin makes a sound he really hopes you don’t hear – the scene is just too adorable), you send the small girl off, turning back to Kevin. “Shall we get started?” you ask, grinning widely.

It may only be the third date, but he’s falling in love, Kevin thinks, falling in love with your shining face and sparkling eyes, with the way you shower love upon the children you’ve placed under your care. Right now, you’re everything he’s ever wanted in a future partner – beautiful in character, kind, gentle, fiercely loving.

His heart pounds a little faster.

Belatedly, Kevin realizes you’re waiting for a response and nods quickly. “Yeah,” he breathes, eyes glancing over the sea of children waiting (somewhat) patiently. A smile to rival yours spreads across his face. “Let’s get started.”

. . . . .

iii.

Kevin loves the last Friday of every month, he really does. It’s been tradition for several years now to go out with Changmin and Jacob on what he calls nights for “the boyz” to eat cheap food and get drunk. And no matter how much the others complain about the stupid name (Kevin will admit it sounds stupid now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll change it), he knows they enjoy the nights all the same.

Sometimes, though, Kevin just wishes he had more of a filter on his mouth. If not that, then maybe his brain could stop remembering every single dumb thing he said or did on drunk nights out. It would make his life a lot easier if he could just forget being stupid.

But no, God decided to be mean when making Kevin Moon. So Kevin, as a result, is an emotional drunk. He cries a lot when he hears about sad or adorable things, he says a lot of stupid stuff to (badly) express his overwhelming feelings, and worst of all, he remembers all of it when he wakes up hungover the next morning.

(None of this stops him from getting drunk anyway. Kevin Moon doesn’t learn lessons when it comes to alcohol. When he falls on his face (sometimes literally), he just gets up again, even if it’s with a bloody nose.)

Luckily, the night doesn’t end in chaos. Even though Jacob, who’s half of Kevin’s impulse control, leaves after an hour (he’s meeting with his family the next day, so Kevin is obligated call him a noob – it’s like a law of physics or something), Changmin doesn’t seem to be in the mood to do weird things without Jacob there to stop him, so the night passes relatively smoothly without Kevin throwing, like, a tantrum or anything.

He gets close, though. Because damn, if Changmin isn’t so fucking adorable when talking about his partner. Buried in his purple hoodie, black hair peeking softly over the top, it’s impossible for Kevin not to tear up when Changmin begins gushing over his beautiful, amazing, wonderful significant other whom he just compared to stardust.

Stardust.

Kevin wants to scream, that’s so romantic.

When you come to pick him and Changmin up, Kevin can’t resist relaying all of this to you as soon as he gets in the car. Vaguely, he thinks he should be worried about Changmin hearing it and hitting him, but the boy is mostly asleep in the back, eyes only fluttering slightly when you go over a bump or something. After Changmin gets dropped off at his apartment, Kevin turns the gushing on full force.

“Y/N, the love of my life, he called her stardust,” he’s still babbling even as you strongarm him up to his own apartment. “He’s so adorable. Changmin is so adorable. Oh my God.”

He thinks you snort. Probably. It would be a normal response. “Didn’t you call him the spawn of Satan just a few days ago?”

Definitely a snort, Kevin thinks, but he’s too invested in Changmin’s loveliness to whine about you making fun of him. “Y/N,” he pouts instead, “listen to meeeeee.”

“I’m listening, I’m listening.” You grunt, catching him just as he misses the next step and almost falls forward. “Hey, be careful.”

“’M trying.” Kevin manfully does his best to stop the world from tilting on its side. “But Changminnie.”

“Yes, yes, Changminnie.” Even drunk, Kevin can make out the playful exasperation in your voice. “Keep going.”

“Thank you, love of my life.” Kevin tries to give you a kiss but his lips hit air instead of your cheek. “Heck.”

You burst into loud laughter. “Kevin Moon, you never told me you were this adorable when drunk.”

“Changminnie,” he says more insistently.

“Okay, yes, I’m listening.” You kiss his cheek instead, and Kevin almost topples over right then and there. “Hey, you can’t fall over whenever I kiss you. Tell me about Changmin.”

Kevin starts flailing his arms around as best he can. “He’s so cute!” he half-yells. “He told me his partner was like stardust because she’s so perfect and warm, but she’s also like stardust because… because…”

His lip juts out.

“Oh, no, don’t cry, Kev.” You stop moving, then Kevin registers you bundling him into a hug, patting his head. “I know you’re a sad emotional drunk, but don’t cry.”

“Not crying,” Kevin protests, visibly crying.

“Mhm.” You pat his head one last time before letting go. “Hey, give me a second, I’m going to unlock your door.”

There’s some fumbling and a quiet snick, then Kevin obediently follows you through the door of his apartment. Once inside, you press a thumb to the side of his face, brushing a tear away. “Tell me what Changmin said to make you sad.”

“Changminnie said he’s afraid she’ll… she’ll… slip away between his fingers. Like stardust.” Kevin feels like he’s going to start sobbing any moment now. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him eventually because she’s too perfect and he’s not good enough.”

“Oh my God.” You sit down on the couch. Kevin follows suit, albeit a lot more ungracefully as he collapses onto a cushion in a tangle of limbs. “Oh my God, that’s so sad and cute at the same time.”

“I said he should call her his star,” Kevin mumbles, turning slightly so he can burrow into your side. “Because stardust. Texted them about it. Both of them.”

Your laugh sounds like music even to the drunken haze of his brain. “Wonder what they’ll think when they see a drunken keysmash on their phones first thing tomorrow morning.”

The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Kevin feels his eyes beginning to get droopy, and he almost falls asleep before a thought strikes him with lightning force.

“I need to give you a nickname!” he almost yells, sitting bolt upright. The movement makes the room spin, but he doesn’t care. This is urgent. “Changmin’s going to call her his star, but I haven’t given you a nickname yet!”

“Kev, Kev.” You hold him by the shoulders, and he relaxes a little. “You can come up with a nickname for me in the morning. Right now, I think you need to sleep.”

“No,” he whines, shifting in your grip. “This is important. You need a nickname.” He sinks into deep, drunken thoughts, the kinds of thoughts he has when he ignores everything around him in favor of getting philosophical after having drunk too much alcohol.

Then it hits him.

“Oh my God,” he gasps. “Oh my God.” It’s his turn to grab you by the shoulders, now. “Oh my God. You’re the sun. Because I’m the moon. Get it? Kevin Moon?”

Through his drunken haze, Kevin thinks he sees you smile, maybe. It looks like a smile.

Your eyes are sparkling. You look happy.

Probably a smile.

“I’m a genius,” he whispers. A genius for coming up with the nickname and for making you happy.

“Sure, Kevin.” You grunt a little as he shifts his weight. “Come on, get up. We’ll see if you’re still a genius tomorrow if you wake up and remember all of this.”

Kevin doesn’t register much for the rest of the night, just remembers falling into his bed and forcing you to lie down next to him. The next morning, he wakes up with a throbbing headache and the vague, ever-present worry that he said something stupid last night.

You’re not in the bed with him anymore. Kevin blinks once, twice, before trying to sit up so to figure out where you went. Then he remembers you don’t live here. You probably went home.

Which is why he nearly goes into cardiac arrest when you appear in his doorway, holding a mug of coffee and a glass of water.

For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. Kevin’s not sure what thoughts are running through your head, but he knows he’s trying to piece together what happened last night, and whether or not he should be hiding under the covers out of embarrassment.

Then it hits him.

Sun.

Moon.

Genius.

Oh, God.

Kevin wants to die.

“Morning, sunshine,” he says, using your new nickname in the desperate hope that it’ll distract you from remembering the rest of what he said last night.

A catlike smirk curls your lips as you walk over, pressing the glass of water into his hands. A feeling of dread fills Kevin’s heart as he takes it.

“Morning, genius,” you say with enough evil delight to power Changmin for a year.

Kevin groans. “I was drunk.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Your teasing smile melts into something gentler as you place your mug on the bedside table, turning to bring the glass of water in his hands to his lips. “Coffee’s mine, don’t touch it or I’ll break a bone. Drink the water. I made some breakfast, so come into the kitchen whenever you feel up to it. After you’ve brushed your teeth.”

Warmth courses through Kevin’s body, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol from last night and everything to do with how you’re here in body and mind, sweetly helping him recover from a stupid hangover even when it’s definitely not your problem to take care of and you probably have better things to do. His heart thumps, loud enough that he thinks you could probably hear it.

In this moment, Kevin doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for anything than you coming into his life.

“Got it.” He awkwardly tries to salute, but he does it with the hand holding the glass and the water nearly spills onto the bed. As his cheeks flush, you break into snorting giggles.

Even though it’s at his expense, Kevin thinks he would do anything, anything in the world, to keep that wonderful smile on your face and that musical laughter in the air.

. . . . .

iv.

Only when you move in together does Kevin realize just how taxing your job is. He had an idea from when you sometimes had to cancel or move around dates, but when you did meet up, you were usually energetic and cheerful. Of course, there were the token dates where you just came over to Kevin’s apartment or he came over to yours and you just flopped around for a few hours. Outside, though, you always showed a bright face.

But that was because dates were mostly on your days off or when your hours were short, and as a result, you felt good enough, energized enough to show Kevin your brilliant smile. When you first moved in together, Kevin felt a bit surprised – well, maybe not surprised, but saddened – that you didn’t have the energy to smile as brightly as he saw before.

It’s fine by Kevin, though. You smile often enough, and if your teeth don’t show as much as they used to, there’s something beautiful, something calming and sweet in the slower curve of your lips, the gentle, lethargic way you lean up for a kiss. After all, Kevin has enough energy to compensate for when you might lack some of yours.

(It helps that he can cook, he thinks. Even when the kids at school sometimes wear him out, the brief sparkle in your eye that spreads across your lips when you walk through the door to see him stirring something on the stove is more than enough to make up for it.)

You’re cute, too, when you’re tired. Though Kevin loves it when you’re energetic and ready for whatever the day has decided to throw in your path, there’s something so peaceful, so pleasant about feeling you lying lethargically against his side on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book or just resting, doing nothing but breathing softly. Kevin cherishes those small moments, the soft atmosphere where he kisses your hair and you smile, reach up, and press a kiss of your own to his cheek.

Tonight is one of those nights, a night of soft, comforting silence, words few and far between. It’s been a bit warm lately, so Kevin’s elected to wear one of the tank tops he keeps for the warmer months instead of his usual sweater.

You sit next to him on the couch, back pressed to his side as you send off emails on your phone. Kevin’s working too, inputting grades on his laptop. He hums a little under his breath to take his mind off of the monotony of his task.

At some point, you finish, putting down your phone with a sigh and slumping into his ribs. Kevin starts at the sudden movement. “Sunshine,” he whines, even though he could really care less.

“Moon boy,” you parrot in the same tone of voice.

Kevin’s attention turns back to his laptop, so he barely registers you shifting on the couch to a new position. He does notice it, though, when your fingers start trailing along his skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his tank top, because your touch tickles.

You completely ignore his resulting twitch of surprise, only keep tracing the skin of his rib cage. Kevin looks down, confused as to what’s caught your attention.

Oh. His tattoos.

“Sunshine?” he asks softly, watching your fingers shift along his skin.

“Mm,” you hum, eyes still fixated on the ink decorating his side.

“Sleepy?”

Slowly, you shake your head, fingers paused on the image of Mickey Mouse. “Not yet.”

He goes back to inputting grades, all the while still aware of your fingers tracing the lines, the curls, the swirls of black ink along his side. When he finishes, he looks over before closing his laptop to see your eyes still focused on his skin.

Something in his heart explodes, spreading a tingly, comforting warmth throughout his body. It’s a feeling he’s come to associate with your presence, a feeling of absolute security, absolute trust, absolute warmth that comes with falling in love with you.

You look up, noticing his lack of movement. “Finished, moonbeams?”

“First moon boy, now moonbeams?” Kevin teases you lightly, picking up the hand you were using to trace his skin and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Just like every other time he’s ever done it, a wide smile spreads across your face and a shyness sparkles in your eyes, as though you still can’t believe the bliss of the moment.

(At least, that’s what Kevin feels every time you do something to remind him that he’s yours.)

Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Can’t call you moonshine, that’s an alcohol.” You shrug as best as you can in your stretched-out position. “Moonbeams, moon boy… whatever feels right.”

Kevin puts his laptop on the coffee table. As he leans back into the couch, you curl up into him, one hand still lingering against the Mickey Mouse tattoo on his side. “Tell me about these?” you ask, pressing your fingers a bit more firmly against the ink.

His tattoos are personal, serving as reminders of the past and inspiration to keep moving. Rarely does he share their meanings with anyone (not that people usually ask, because the tattoos are mostly covered by his clothes), and only with those who mean the world to him.

Kevin thinks you qualify as one of them.

Touching your shoulders, he turns you around slightly, just enough to press a short, sweet kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sunshine.” He smiles, gazing into your eyes, feeling the warmth of your love travel through his limbs. “Which one first?”

. . . . .

v.

Kevin Moon, for the majority of his life, has hovered in between being classified as a morning person or a night owl. Yes, he gets up at six in the morning for a cup of coffee, but he also stays up past midnight doing… stuff. Grading, writing reports, watching cat videos, wasting time.

(When Changmin judges his lifestyle, Kevin just reminds him that he fell in love with his roommate’s hookup and is on a dance team with the parent of one of his students.)

Honestly, if Kevin didn’t remind himself every so often that he’s currently a full adult, his lifestyle would make him think he was still in college. He certainly still acts like it when he isn’t working. Procrastinating? Check. Crying over reports he needs to submit at three a.m.? Check. Flopping around on the floor when life is going badly? Check.

And most importantly: nonexistent sleep schedule? Check.

You put a stop to that real quick when you move in, both directly and indirectly. Directly, you make an appointment for him at a sleep clinic after figuring out his shitty sleep patterns, and Kevin finds out he probably has mild insomnia. The aftermath is horrible – you put him on a strict sleep schedule and all but ban caffeine from his diet (goodbye, morning coffee) – but it helps, after a couple of weeks. He sleeps better. Perks of having a partner who works in medicine.

Indirectly, though, you probably make a bigger difference.

See, the way Kevin thinks about it, he just never had a lot of reasons to stay in bed very long. Even though he appreciates sleep, really appreciates it on long days, it’s just that he can’t really force it if it doesn’t want to come. He’d also rather be doing something productive (or not productive, depends on the asker’s perspective) than lying awake for hours, anyway.

But now that he’s waking up to a face he loves?

Well, even if you sometimes disappear before he wakes (hospital hours are whack as hell, but sadly, you can’t ignore your job), Kevin will just say your warmth is a powerful incentive to stay huddled under the covers, even if he can’t fall back asleep.

He still wakes up every morning to grey light beginning to peek through the window. No matter how hard he tries to sleep in just a little longer, his body can’t seem to stay unconscious past six in the morning, so both of you have just resigned yourselves to the fact that Kevin will always be an early riser.

Before you walked into his life, he would’ve rolled out of bed almost immediately, stumbled to the bathroom (and maybe knocked his knee against the doorframe, who knows), then started brewing coffee in the kitchen to start the day.

Now?

A drowsy smile begins to make its way across Kevin’s face, soft as the morning light, when his brain catches up to the present and he registers your warmth under the covers. Sleepily, he blinks, taking in the sight of your peaceful face buried halfway in the sheets.

You shouldn’t look this beautiful, Kevin thinks, not with your hair strewn all over the pillow, blankets rumpled around your shoulders, arms outstretched so that one sort of curls over his body while the other is held up to your chest. It’s the morning – no one should look pretty and put-together. That isn’t natural.

(Unless you happy to be Kim Younghoon, but that’s another story.)

Yet you somehow look like a sleeping deity in Kevin’s mind, even with your hair a mess and drool drying on the pillowcase. As the drowsiness clears from his eyes, as the light from the window grows brighter, Kevin can barely even think of moving, of disturbing your peace.

He dislikes your alarm. It’s loud, annoying, and hits him with a jolt when he’s just trying to take these stolen morning moments to admire your beauty. When he complains about it the first time, you tell him to serve as the alarm, to wake you up himself.

Kevin counters that he’s an artist, that he needs peace and quiet to give beauty of such a degree the respect it deserves. You just roll your eyes, telling him that if he isn’t going to wake you up, the alarm’s going to have to take that job. The smile on your face, though, and the brief kiss you press to his lips right after, speaks volumes for the emotions Kevin’s words make you feel.

(He loves flustering you like this, even if you pretend his words don’t make you feel some sort of way.)

So eventually, you wake, eyes fluttering as the alarm brings you back to the conscious plane. Kevin’s heart feels like it’s bursting when your eyes fully open, blearily blinking at the world.

“Morning, sunshine,” he whispers, running one hand through your hair.

You lean slightly into the touch, the corners of your lips twitching up. And every day, as he stares into your sleepy eyes, lips curling as you whisper a quiet “Morning, moon boy” in reply, Kevin knows he’s falling, falling in love with every part of you.

. . . . .

+i.

Kevin’s waiting in front of the school when you pull up at the curb. Smiling apologetically, he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek as you step out of the car. “Sorry, sunshine.” He gestures at the two small boys standing beside him, absorbed in their own world. “Their uncle’s running late and Changmin and Jacob have things to do, so I need to wait for Sangyeon to pick them up before we can go.”

“No worries.” You return the kiss, smiling as bright as the sun. Kevin feels a flash of pride for coming up with a nickname that fits you so well. “We have the whole afternoon, don’t we?”

“That, we do.” He grins, squeezing your hand.

“Mr. Moon, who’s that?” a small voice asks closer to the ground. The two of you turn to see Sunwoo and Eric trotting over, curious looks on their faces.

Kevin looks over at you, but you’re already bending down to get to eye level with the two boys. “Oh, hello!” Your grin, if possible, grows wider. “I’m Y/N, Kevin’s significant other. What are your names?”

“I’m Eric,” Eric pipes up. “This is my brother, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo just stares with round eyes. Well, he’s always been the shyer of the two.

“Those are lovely names,” you reply smoothly, giving Sunwoo an encouraging smile. Kevin feels his heart melt completely at how well you interact with the kids. “I’m just going to be waiting with Kevin until your uncle picks you up, is that okay?”

The two kids nod and immediately go back to babbling in their own little world. Kevin notices the fond smile on your face, and his heart melts even more.

“They’re so cute,” you whisper to him.

“I know, right?” Kevin clutches his heart dramatically. “Can you imagine teaching them every day?”

Just as you’re shaking your head in comic disbelief, another car pulls up behind yours. A harried-looking young man quickly exits and Eric and Sunwoo cheer, distracted by the arrival of their uncle.

“Sorry about this,” Sangyeon says, absentmindedly patting Eric’s head as the boy hugs his leg. Sunwoo seems to be attempting to climb onto his uncle’s back. “Traffic wasn’t the kindest when I was getting out of work.” Then he notices you. “Oh, hello. Are you Kevin’s partner?”

“That I am.” You stick out a hand. “I’m Y/N, and I’ve been told you’re Sangyeon?”

Sangyeon nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you. And to see that Kevin’s found someone to deal with his antics.”

Kevin blushes as you laugh. “Hey,” he complains. “No jokes at my expense, please.”

“Sure, moonbeams.” You roll your eyes, then turn back to Sangyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Your nephews are adorable.”

The smile that Sangyeon gives the two boys clambering around him says it all. “They are, aren’t they?” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. My sister’s expecting us back soon, and I’m already a bit late.”

Kevin breathes a sigh of relief. No more teasing at his expense from Sangyeon, at least, though there’s no guarantee from you. “Nice seeing you, Sangyeon. And have a good day, kids.”

A small chorus of “You too, Mr. Moon!” sounds, and Kevin expects that to be the end. Sangyeon will herd the boys into the car, Kevin will follow you into yours, and then you’ll go your separate ways. What he doesn’t expect is for Sunwoo to look out at you from behind his uncle’s leg, round eyes cautiously curious, and ask you a question.

“Y/N?”

Immediately, you turn around, teasing smirk melting into a gentle smile for the small boy. “Yes, Sunwoo?”

Sunwoo’s eyes dart between you and Kevin. Then, softly, shyly – “Do you love Mr. Moon?”

Time seems to stop as Kevin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sudden question, but you only look back at him, eyes soft and sparkling in the sunlight. 

Your answer glitters in your gaze.

Though you’re supposed to be talking to Sunwoo, your eyes stay fixed on Kevin, strong and unyielding, yet gentle and affectionate, as you answer. Your voice is soft when you reply. “Yes, Sunwoo. I do love him.” The smile on your face grows wider as you turn back to the child. “I love him very much.”

Indescribable warmth floods Kevin’s chest and tears prick his eyes. And as Sangyeon hurries his nephews away, as you turn around to unlock your car, one truth burns with absolute, crystal-clear certainty in his mind.

He isn’t falling in love with you, not anymore. No, he’s far past that stage.

Kevin Moon is completely, wholly, irrevocably in love with you.

“Kevin?” You look at him from the other side of the car. “You coming?”

A wide grin spreads across his face as he meets your sparkling eyes. Love blooms in his chest.

“Coming, sunshine.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s whipped ass ksjdkgsdhjk)

[oldtowrs]

˗ˏˋ LOVELY PRESENCE; obi-wan kenobi x handmaiden!reader

SUMMARY - the reader, a handmaiden and obi-wan’s love, visits the jedi temple to spend a last evening together before obi-wan is sent on a mission to corellia, and finds him in the middle of training. needless to say, obi-wan throws caution to the wind and shameless fluff ensues

WORD COUNT - ~4.3k

A/N - ayyy... its more of my golden boy, haha. i don’t know what you all expected really. this is really just shameless fluff for fluff’s sake. i hope you all enjoy. and please i don’t want to get any comments saying ‘they could’ve gotten caught, blah blah.’ yes i know, that’s the point. i said shameless fluff did i not? small font and no caps is intentional. and for the story’s sake, just pretend that no one saw obi-wan and the reader, okay? okay. also i’m going to tag @obaewankenobis and @karasong / @hellotherekenobi bc they liked the excerpt i posted from this piece. here’s the full thing enjoy :)

WARNINGS - obi-wan in a tank top. i said what i said. 

coruscant shone golden in the last rays of the setting afternoon sun. the buildings, huge pillars of metal and glass, reflected the golden light every which way, illuminating the many hovercraft that flew through the coruscanti airspace, looking like little trails of stardust in the sky. the sky, with its painted gradient of vibrant hues, and clouds which interrupted the color in such elegant ways, acted as a beautiful backdrop for the gleaming city.

as padme’s advisor and handmaiden, you had seen many beautiful sunsets and sunrises, the sun rising from or melting into one of the many beautiful lakes of naboo. but none of them could’ve paralleled the gleaming grandeur of coruscant, the seat of power of the republic, in her final golden hour.

but even as you admired the beauty of the city-planet, you knew there was a beauty more divine than that of naboo and of coruscant and of the whole inner rim combined: and he was standing before you in the gardens of the jedi temple,wielding his lightsaber in preparation for the mission he was to depart on come morning. his auburn hair fell into his slightly freckled face, into his beautiful blue eyes that shone like a thousand stars, as he moved. his jedi robes had been laid upon a stone bench, discarded in the heat of training, leaving him in nothing but his dark trousers tucked into his leather boots, and a black, sleeveless undershirt. the shirt revealed his freckled shoulders and muscular arms as he swung his saber in arcs about him, and the sun seemed to both seep into his skin like honey and glow upon touching the lovely freckles surface. every part of him was awash in gold as the sun kissed his skin and danced about his beard and hair, turning the auburn strands into warm, roughspun gold.

he was beautiful in all that he was, strong and dedicated and driven by peace and focus, as a high ranking jedi master and general should be. he was a honeyed, shining golden in the brilliant sun. and he was all yours.

obi-wan.

then, in a moment he had turned to face you, his lightsaber spinning in a wide, elegant arc until the hilt came to a halt by his head, the end of the saber outstretched, opposing hand pointing directly at you. those beautiful blue eyes that you so dearly loved seemed to shine with the light of a thousand stars as his gaze met yours. a smile immediately lifted the corners of his lips. he hurriedly began to make his way towards you, dropping the saber to his side, the blade withdrawing into nothingness as he forged his way through the gardens.

‘darling!’

the endearment was almost a sigh of relief, of comfortability, as it passed his sweet lips and graced your ears with its soft tenor and lilt of his elegant coruscanti accent.

he clipped his lightsaber to the leather utility belt about his hips, before taking your face in his hands and placing his lips gently on yours. his thumbs traced delicate circles on your cheeks, and you felt him smile into the kiss as your heated blush rose to meet his touch. he smelled of his soaps and colognes, of his soft linens, of the garden, of him, of home and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss happily.

panic filled your heart as you suddenly pulled away from him, hands delicately wrapping around his forearms, as you tried reluctantly to pull out of the kiss that had you falling faster and faster into his lovely orbit.

‘obi-wan! someone might see!’

obi-wan's eyes turned soft, the stars in his eyes dimming only so his love could shine through. he pressed a kiss to your forehead, and while you were still worried about being caught kissing a jedi, risking everything obi-wan had ever known, you couldn’t help but melt into the kiss, into his touch. your hands, significantly smaller and more delicate than his, slid gently up his bare arms to cover his as they continued to caress circles upon circles of his love into your skin.

‘don’t worry, sweetling,’ he murmured, the words gentle against your forehead as they graced the space-though it was limited-between you two. ‘there’s no presence but yours for at least the next several hundred yards.’

it was true. what with the galactic war, the jedi order had been spread thin. even the jedi council hadn’t had a meeting at which all members were present for months; or at least that was what obi-wan told you in the quiet hours of the night in which he returned, from long days of maintaining the order of the galaxy, to his chambers-to the image of you tucked delicately beneath his linens or your silks. those were the hours before his words turned sugary sweet and more intimate and began to accompany a plethora of gentle kisses.

obi-wan, being the powerful jedi he was, would be able to sense the presence of another being as they moved through the force; and if he was comfortable enough to bring you close and pepper your face with butterfly-like kisses, then you supposed you could allow yourself to relax into his touch.

‘and as lovely as your presence is, darling,’ obi-wan began, his callouses gentle against your skin as he moved to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. ‘whatever are you doing at the jedi temple?’

‘i was sent on official business by senator amidala,’ you said, raising your chin into the air haughtily, a note of pride taking hold in your voice.

‘and what might your business be, my lady,’ obi-wan said, drawing ever near as his hands drifted down your arms and the elegant silks sleeves of your dress until his fingers found and wove themselves between yours. his thumbs continued their circular escapades on the surface of your skin-which you now realized was growing just as honeyed as his in the afternoon light.

you’ve bewitched me, master kenobi.

‘to admire and oversee the activities of a certain jedi master who’s lovely presence i will miss dearly after he leaves my side to go hunt down clues of the sith and of battleships and criminals on somefar off planet,’ you said, admiring the way the deepening wrinkles at his eyes gathered beautifully as a smile grew upon his lips-those soft, pillowy lips that you could drown in forever.

‘admiring a jedi?’ obi-wan laughed heartily, the sound of it rich and loving against your ears. ‘on such sacred grounds as these? you must have some courage, darling.’

‘if i remember correctly, master kenobi,’ you hummed happily, his title and reputation falling sweet like rose petals from your lips, ‘it was you who just kissed me on such ‘sacred grounds.’’

and there he was, again, leaning in close, slanting his lips against yours as though it would be the last time he would get the chance to kiss you, to take your breath away with such a simple action, to make your heart melt beneath his gentle touch--like he needed the constant reassurance of your kiss to weather the cruelties of a galaxy at war. and when he pulled away, absolute adoration lingered there in his baby blue eyes, as though stars had imploded along the lines of your lips as he kissed you, and their stardust had collected in his shining blue irises so that they may always remember your beauty and the stars that danced about your skin like little shadows.

‘my stars, darling,’ he sighed, ‘i would kiss you for eternity if it meant the first thing i would see when my lips parted forms yours was the sweet beauty of your face. i would kiss you for an eternity and longer if it meant i got to be in your lovely presence for always and forever.’

‘obi-wan, love, you’re making it really hard not to dread your departure already,’ you sighed, pouting ever so slightly in the way that you knew would pull at obi-wan’s heartstrings.

‘don’t worry, little one. i’ll come back to you, whole and in need of your sweet kisses,’ obi-wan hummed, pressing another kiss to your forehead. ‘and it just so happens that i have been relieved of my duties for tonight to ready myself for the mission.’

‘and what might that preparation include, master kenobi,’ you asked teasingly, and watching him preen under your endearment. his station was something to be proud of, to have worked so hard, to have come from nothing and to now be a jedi master and general, and the best negotiator and diplomat the order had. he embodied all the code stood for: compassion, patience, discipline. and you knew that deep down, somewhere, hidden away with his immense love for you was a mild sense of pride at all he accomplished-though he would never let it show.

‘i was thinking of spending my time with a handmaiden i rather enjoy the presence of--a handmaiden i have formed quite the attachment to.’

‘she must be a very lucky woman then, to have the affections of someone as accomplished and as endearing as you.’

‘oh, but i am the luckiest man in the galaxy to love her and call her mine.’

your heart swelled at his words. his?

obi-wan leaned down to kiss you once more, this time his hands finding purchase in the cotton and silk that made up the back of your dress, splaying themselves about your back as though he were cradling you ever closer to his chest in an almost protective manner.

‘yes, darling.’ he managed in between the soft pillowy kisses he pressed to your lips, the tip of your nose, your cheeks and forehead, any part of you he could reach with those wonderful lips of his. ‘all mine.’

your hands rested against his chest, the thin material of his undershirt allowing you to feel the muscle which rippled beneath his beautifully freckled skin from years dedicated to his training and to the order. the fabric was soft as your fingers trailed down his chest, to his hips where the cool metal of his saber kissed your fingers.

‘teach me,’ you murmured, lips brushing against obi-wan’s as the words left your lips. confusion drew his eyebrows together, a small crease forming between them in a way you couldn’t help but adore.

‘teach you what, sweetling?’ he asked, voice velvety and soft against your ears.

‘teach me how to use a lightsaber.’

a smile took over those soft lips you so dearly loved, and a laugh erupted in the evening air. he was beautiful when he laughed, color painting his cheeks and his hair falling out of his face as he leaned his head back in his laughter. you would’ve admired the lovely sound and the way his eyes wrinkled at the corners had your words not been cause for it.

‘why are you laughing at me? i’ve fought to protect senator amidala on many occasions with both a blaster and vibroblades. why not a lightsaber? or did you forget i’ve been trained in close combat as well, master kenobi.’

‘i never said no, darling,’ obi-wan sighed, coming down from his laughter to press a gentle hand to your cheek, thumb tracing circles into your skin. ‘however, the thought of you with such civilized technology is quite a fearsome one indeed.’

‘please, obi-wan?’

obi-wan’s gaze softened, knowing in his heart that you meant too much to him to deny you any one of your many requests.

‘i suppose,’ he sighed, worry mingling with the warmth in his crystal blue gaze, as he begged of you, ‘just promise me you’ll be careful. i hate to even think about harm coming to you, much less see you harmed by my weapon and under my supervision.’

‘i promise.’

its then that his fingers find the palm of your hand, guiding it into his strong, calloused, yet gentle grasp, as he pulls you from the sanctuary of the temple and into the wild delicacy of the gardens. a soft click sounds and the cool metal of obi-wan’s saber kisses the tips of your fingers as he pulls you close and presses the saber into your delicate hands. he wraps your fingers around the hilt, and raises your hand to kiss your knuckles, his beard tickling the skin there.

‘this weapon is dangerous as it is beautiful, darling. do you understand?’

‘yes, my love.’

he pulls you into the clearing in the center of the gardens, stone tiles sturdy beneath your feet. soon his figure is wrapped around your, your back pressed firmly against the strong musculature of his chest as his strong, star-freckled arms wrap around your own, guiding your hands and body into a stance he deemed worthy of training in.

‘you must always be aware of your body in position to your saber,’ he explained, his voice low in its velvety depth as he buried his lips in your hair, the top of your head grazing his delicate cheekbones. ‘you must always be aware and precise in your movements. one wrong move could prove fatal.’

as much as you wanted to focus on his words, his close proximity was very distracting. the heady, musk of him overwhelmed your sense in the most pleasantly soft manner, and the delicate brush of his skin against yours was enough to set your nerves alight in blissful agony. you wanted to melt into him, to meld into the softness of his heart, the warmth of his being and voice. there was so much of him that you loved, and it was just so close… he was just so close.

‘focus your thoughts, darling,’ he chuckled sweetly, the deep tenor of his voice rumbling softly in his chest as he pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, into the softness of your hair.

‘sorry,’ you said sheepishly. sometimes you forgot just how strong his connection with the force was, and how he could read you like an open book. of course, you’d given him permission to do so--convincing him that you were okay with having his loving presence in your consciousness, that it wasn’t an invasion of your privacy. you had had to convince him that having his warmth in the corners of your mind was one of the most comforting feelings you’d ever known, that is wasn’t a burden or an overreach or a breach of your trust.

‘it’s okay, sweet one,’ he hums sweetly. ‘just focus on my movements.’

his hands wrapped around yours, pressing them into the hilt as he tilted the end of it away from you. blue light filled your field of vision as he ignited it.

‘this is called a low guard. it's a good place to start dueling, as you can move any which way from this position’ obi-wan explained, the passion for his practice and the dedication to his order seeping into the softness of his voice, turning the tone sweeter than honey. ‘focus on fluidity, and precision, darling. yes, perfect. now bring it down to your side, and up in an arc.’

obi-wan’s praise was enough to send your head spinning, and your heart reeling with contentment. there was nowhere else in the whole galaxy you wanted to be than in obi-wan kenobi’s arms, the callousness and softness of his hands pressed firmly into your own as he guided your hand down into a steep arc before bringing it down to the opposite side. his arm crossed over your body in a way that was reminiscent of the way he would wrap his arms languidly about your waist so as to hug you in the way he loved to in the early hours of the morning in which the two of you woke in the others chambers as the sun’s rays just began to kiss the clouds high above. your heart fluttered like a thousand butterflies pushing against the limits of your lungs in a campaign for freedom-a freedom to press your face into his chest, to give him a kiss for every star-freckled blemish upon his skin.

‘and that would be a basic defensive maneuver,’ he hummed, interrupting your wandering thoughts before guiding you through the motion a couple times to work it into your muscle memory. his tutelage continued on like this until the sky was only lit by the last remnants of the sunset.

‘let me try,’ you whispered into the small space between you. he let go, his skin leaving its precious contact with yours as your nerves almost screamed for him to come back.

you tried some of the maneuvers on your own, getting a feeling for the balance of the elegant weapon in your own hands. it was similar to its dagger analog, a defensive art you had learned upon padme’s admission into the senate. a smirk pulled at the side of your lips as an idea formed in your mind. just beware of the blade, obi wasn’t voice echoed in your memory.

quickly, you began the maneuver, turning around and wielding the blade in a flourishing so that it came to rest by your head in the way obi-wan had done upon your arrival to the jedi gardens.

mild panic and pride mixed beautifully in obi-wan’s face, pulling at it in ways that gently tugged at the light wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. obi-wan would be lying if he said that his heart did not jump into his throat in fear that something would go wrong, that you would hurt yourself in your playfulness. however, when he saw you, alive and unscathed, pride gleaming in your eyes as the flourish put him in a position that would’ve won you a battle, he couldn't have been more proud of you-his love wielding his lightsaber as if it was what you were born to do.

‘how’s my form, master kenobi?’ mischief dripped from your words, his title slipping off your honeyed tongue so elegantly that it elicited a delicate warmth in his chest, and a heated redness to his cheeks.

with a flick of his finger, the blade disappeared into the hilt, into nothingness, under his deft manipulation of the force, before he reached for you, pulling your small, delicate form into his. his arms wrapped around you, the silks and chiffons of your simple dress kissing his arms as he pulled you into him and placed his lips sweetly-albeit a little forcefully-in a kiss that melted both your heart and his own.

‘and when i thought you possibly occupy and melt any more of my heart, you’ve found a way to prove me wrong.’ he hummed into the small space between you, the vibrations and soft brushes of the suppleness of his lips delicate and heartwarming against yours

his heart felt as though it collapsed like a dying star before being reborn again as you buried your face into the warmth of his chest, his exposed skin soft against yours. one hand found purchase among the soft strands of the hair at the back of your head, as the other wrapped around your waist and pulled you ever closer against him. he pressed yet another kiss to your forehead, pushing his feeling of pride and love to you through the force.

‘it was utterly perfect, darling,’ he hummed sweetly, before pulling you from his chest and reclaiming his lightsaber from your deadly, yet delicate hands. ‘i knew you would be a terrifying force to be reckoned with, but i didn’t know you would look so beautiful doing it.’

at that, your heart swelled with pride, a smile tugging at your lips and a blush rising to consume your cheeks and tips of your ears. obi-wan couldn’t help but smile down at you-- the warmth which radiated from your heart and your soul and into the force for him to perceive was too sweet not to.

‘oh, obi-wan,’ you sighed, ‘i don’t deserve your kind words.’

‘you deserve the universe and more,’ obi-wan cooed, his delicate touch finding its way to your heated cheek as he moved to cradle it in his large, gentle palm, heart melting as tears of pure happiness stung your eyes as you melted into his touch. ‘my high praise is the least you deserve.’

‘obi-wan, will you spend the night with me? or can i spend the night with you? i don’t believe i can bare to part with you right now.’

‘i wouldn’t miss the chance to be in your lovely presence for the whole corellian system, darling.’ obi-wan hummed, thumb tracing its familiar patterns once more.

‘obi-wan,’ his name was soft-barely a whisper- on our tongue as you said it: the name of the jedi master you loved so dearly. ‘must you make it so very unbearable to part from you every time the war leads you away from coruscant… away from me?’

obi-wan’s gaze softened into sadnesses he dropped his gaze to his hands as they moved to hold yours, to feel their softness once more. he knew you missed him when he had to leave on these missions and risk their unknown circumstances. he dreaded the moment when he finally boarded the transport, slipping out of your sight as you watched from some hidden place in the jedi temple or the senate buildings. he could feel the pain your heart brought you in those moments as it radiated through the force. he would do anything to kiss away the tears that would form in worry at the corners of your eyes, to comfort you in his warm embrace, to wrap you up in his cloak and hold you close for eternity.

but he couldn’t. the many walls of steel, glass and space that separated you from him were too great to physically abound. so instead he would send you a sweet message of comfort over your commlinks, and press his thoughts and feelings into the back of his mind, into the depths of his heart. he would miss you, but his feelings would always act as his motivation, and he would always come back to you. obi-wan had lost so many people in his own life. he would never willingly put you through that pain of losing him. so he would fight valiantly and efficiently, cutting down the enemy or gathering intel in the manner that would certainly return him to you in the quickest and safest manner possible.

‘i promise i don’t do it willingly, my sweet’ he sighed, his voice soft and as comforting as he possibly could--though you didn’t miss the note of sadness that lined the edges of his words. gently, his hands pulled you close to him, so that there was barely any space between the two of you. one left your grasp to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with great care and delicacy before resting his forehead against yours. your eyes fluttered shut in tandem with his, as to let the soft sensation of him so close to you overwhelm your senses.

and then his voice was warm and pleasant as it formed in your mind, as clear as your own.

i swear to you, my darling, for every time i leave you behind, i will always come back to you. i will not leave you alone in this galaxy by yourself. not ever.

your eyes fluttered open at the formation of the words, only to find his beautiful blue eyes staring sweetly into yours, into your heart.

‘and i’ll always be waiting for you upon your return, my love.’

‘i know, darling,’ he hummed graciously. ‘i know.’

and then, as the sun’s rays faded and the dark of night began to set in, in the safety and sanctuary of the verdant gardens about you, obi-wan kenobi kissed you, soft and sweet as his hands found the curvature of your cheek and the warmth of your body with his own. he kissed you, stardust dancing about your lips at his gentle caresses, in the safety of the gardens, where no one could separate you from him, where he could show you a small fraction of his love for you without the burden of the galaxy’s prying eyes.

‘what do you say i gather my things aboard the transport, and i’ll meet you in your chambers in, say-half an hour?’ he hummed, brownish auburn eyebrows tilting upwards as he gazed lovingly into your eyes, asking for your permission to occupy your time with his own sweet and lovely presence.

‘i’d like that very much,’ you smiled, revelling in the way a boyish grin covered his now slightly swollen lips. he parted from you to gather his robes hurriedly before returning to your side, to press three quick kisses, to your cheek, your forehead and, finally, your lips.

‘half an hour, then, my darling.’

and sure enough, there he was, standing in your doorway half an hour later, ready to scoop you up in his strong arms and spin you about with pure, love-filled elation. his lips would cover your face, your neck and collarbones, your shoulders-anywhere his lips could find the sweet pleasure of your soft exposed skin.

and for the rest of the night, he was yours-nuzzling his face into the comforts of your stomach as he cuddled into you, wrapping his arms around you in the most loving way, kissing you like you were the oxygen in his lungs, the blood in his veins, and the stardust which made up his being.

and when he left on the transport the next morning, your heart ached at the loving smile that pulled at his lips when his eyes met yours. and somehow you knew, all would be alright, that he would return to you in three-cycle’s time to kiss you and love you all over again.

i will come back to you, my lovely darling. i promise

[thewatercolours]

38 and/or 46?

NUMBER 46: SHIMMER

Maddy dipped a toe into the shimmer of moonlit algae on the water’s surface, cringed, and swept it back up onto the safety of the rickety pier. She let the silence hang a moment longer. Then she sighed and asked the question he’d known she would ask since she’d spotted him here by the lakeshore. “But – why not Daventry?”

All Graham's jumbled answers of the last few days spilled out at once. “Because, well, it’s like at least four days travel from here, and since Anisette’s leaving, it would just be you and Mom, and the farm’s already too much for the three of us! And Daventry’s too small – it hasn’t got any earls or counts or anybody to take service under except the king himself, and he could have any knight he liked!”

“Like you, for example.” She managed the squeeze the remark when he stopped to breathe.

“Not really. Not likely. King Edward was kind of a hero himself, and he’d probably take only the really top-notch knights.” His sentences sped up and got louder, but he couldn’t quite seem to reign them in. “And, and do you know how many times I’ve been turned down already since I graduated? I should have known better – my final results from the Academy were awful - ”

Maddy laid a hand and his shoulder and gave it a slight shake. “Graham – your professors passed you with distinction, and the headmaster literally wrote ‘Saved more lives in the course of three years than I did in my knightly career’ on the top of your evaluation.” She raised her eyebrows as though to say, “Answer that one back if you can.”

Graham looked back down into the spinning kaleidoscope of algae. “Yeah, but a lot of that was on … loopholes and stuff… And everybody knew I was too clumsy to get very far outside a practice situation. I wasn’t even allowed open the supply cupboard of bow and arrows after the thing with the jujubes. If I did get a job as a knight I’d probably shoot myself in the foot the first day. Literally. If it was even my foot I shot and not my lord’s - ”

“Graham.” Maddy clapped a gentle hand over his mouth.  “You’re catastrophizing.”

He stuck his tongue out to make her move her hand.

“Augh!” She flinched back and dove her hand into the water. “That’s disgusting! Brothers.” She shook the water off, and half of it sprinkled on Graham.

“Hey! That’s lake scum!” cried, throwing up his hands in front of his face. She stopped, but he pulled his green hood up defensively nonetheless.

“Turnabout is fair play.” She smirked, but a wistful look came into her eye. “If you ask me, the fact Daventry is small makes it worth considering. Probably not so much competition, easier to rise through the ranks in a smaller court. They’d get to know you more quickly, probably trust you sooner with important missions or what have you. And you love Daventry.”

Graham drew his knees up to his chin thoughtfully. “I’ve never even been there.”

“You’ve read all the writing out the guidebook.”

“Yeah – but guidebooks always make you look at things with rosy coloured glasses.”

She turned her body to face him, but he only saw her in the periphery. He was looking out at the moon, and the stars twinkling round it. A very clear night for this part of Llewdor.

“Nothing wrong with rosy-coloured glasses,” said Maddy. “That’s Mom’s motto, and it’s always worked for her, hasn’t it? Who knows? Maybe glasses are all you need to right that aim of yours. Say.” Something seemed to occur to her. “Is it because it’s not just an application to get in with Daventry? They’ve got a tournament, right?”

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“And that’s what’s eating you?”

Graham closed his eyes. “Not… exactly. I’ve won a couple of mock tournaments anyway. It’d probably be the usual kind of thing – races, one-on-one duels, that sort. I’m decent at them. But I just – don’t want to have to prove myself again. Start at the bottom and have to make them all see.”

Maddy considered a moment. “That’s fair, but what if this was the last time you’d have to do that? Win this once, and have your place secured? And even if you lost – hey, at least you’d get to visit your favourite place. I wouldn’t mind seeing that Floating Island in your shoes. And don’t worry about the farm – the only reason we have so much work is because we can’t keep up with how fast you eat everything we raise!”

He shot a smiling glare her way.

She ignored it. “Seriously though, Graham, you have worked so hard for this. What’s one more shot? Or, er, one more try?” She stole a sister arm round him. “If you set out first thing tomorrow, you’ll make it before Tuesday.”

Slowly he nodded, and smiled again, this time without the glare. “Well… Four days really isn’t that far a journey, I guess.”

[awkwardspontaneity]

The Day I Loved You

Part 7 of Memories of You

BOTW Link x GN!Sheikah!Reader

Prev | Next

Coming home from a visit to Death Mountain and its resident Champion, Link and Y/n finally admit the truths they have been hiding.

An: I realized this title sounds lowkey sad but I swear this is a happy chapter. Things are moving along and we’re finally getting to the ~romance~ right near the end of the story. Anyways Enjoy!

Link kept a steady pace as he walked down the trail from Death Mountain. Y/n walked a few paces ahead of him chatting on about how cool it would have been to have a shield ability like Daruk.

“I’m just saying, It’s great being able to run super fast and quietly, but it would still be nice to not have to worry so much about dodging. Not that I’d stop dodging all together if I could make a shield. It’d just be nice to have that extra protection y’know!”

Link chuckled with a nod. He understood how they felt. Spending all your time in battle trying to see the enemies next move could be exhausting on the mind. It would be nice to not have to worry so much.

“Oh who am I kidding,” Y/n fell into step beside him with a grin matching the humour in their eyes “If you had a shield you would never dodge at all.”

“That’s not true!”

“If you could use Daruk’s Protection one time, you would use it to go extreme shield surfing.”

He flushed at this. That was something he would do if he had the assurance he wouldn’t get hurt. Between the two princesses and Y/n, Link would get an earful if he ever went through with something so reckless.

Link smiled sheepishly at his partner and they huffed out a chuckle at him. They knew him too well so of course he wouldn’t be able to hide from them. Not that he wanted to anymore. It was nice having someone he could let loose with and not have to uphold the ‘Hero of Hyrule’ title around. He found himself missing the Shiekah whenever they would have to split up for missions, or even when they parted ways at the end of the day. They were a staple in his life just as he was in theirs.

Y/n came to a stop beside him, streatching their arms with a groan of relief. They had finally gotten far enough from the Goron Region that the scorching heat was no longer assaulting them. It was just in time too. The fire resistance elixirs they had taken on their way back down had starting to wear off leaving the duo to feel the effects of the volcanic heat.

Y/n leaned forward with a sigh as the breeze swept through the trees, blowing their white bangs gently around their face. Link closed his eyes as well, taking in the cool air. At least it felt cool compared to the appropriately named Death Mountain. His blue eyes fluttered open just in time to see Y/n begin to tumble forward and with a panicked gasp, he leaned out to grab onto them. Unfortunately, he lost his balance as well resulting in the pair of Champions tumbling down the hill. He thanked Hylia for how soft the grass was in this area.

They rolled to a stop at the bottom of the hill, Link laying on his side with Y/n tucked closely into his chest. His arms tightened around their waist when he felt the slight tremor. Had their elixir run out earlier than his? Was it the Champion scarf they wore? He had thought Zelda had said they were imbued with magic to help each champion withstand any temperatures slightly better. Panicked thoughts ran through his head as he pulled the blue hood that had fallen over their eyes back. He rolled the Sheikah over onto their back, situating himself over them so he could examine them better.

Ruby eyes blinked open and met his gaze with a giggle. Their shaking had been… laughter?

“Relax there Hero.” Y/n placed a hand against his cheek and with a sigh of relief he pressed his face further into their palm. “I didn’t mean to drag you down with me there. I was relieved to be out of the heat.”

“So you threw yourself down a hill?” Link had opened his eyes by this point, staring into their eyes quizzically.

“I didn’t throw myself.” Y/n snorted when they met his disbelieving gaze. “I didn’t! The grass is always mossy and soft here, I thought it would be fun. Plus I’d get to lie down at the end of it.”

Link dropped his head the Y/n’s shoulder in disbelief. They let out a light shudder when the breath of his laugh hit their neck. The hand that had been on his check moved to run through his golden tresses. Even after the running around and scorching heat, his hair was soft. Y/n brushed through tangles for a while, enjoying the pressure of him being this close.

Eventually, Link built up the courage to nuzzle his head closer towards them. Y/n let out a hum, encouraging him to make a move. He would move slowly. There was nothing he would ever do to make them uncomfortable.

Carefully, Link lifted his head, meeting Y/’s eyes. They smiled warmly at him and he gently pressed his forehead against theirs. Y/n whispered a tiny hey at his closeness, but they didn’t waver in their smile.

Link kept his eyes licked on theirs as he brought a hand up to hold their face as gently as they held his.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” He could see the encouragement in their face. The way they never pushed him away. All the times they fought together, and Y/n would come to him first after battles no matter what. How they made him feel normal while still reminding him he was a Hero. Even when he made mistakes. They stood by his side.

“I love you.”

Y/n smiled. A smile that lit up their face, and reflected the light in their eyes so bright he knew the sun would never be the same to him.

“I love you too.”

And he sent them a smile too. It may not have held the same luminescence Y/n’s had, but they swore their heart couldn’t decide if it was supposed to be racing or stop completely. If Y/n was the sun, Link was the moon. A bright light in the darkness, calm as the lakes with the force of the tides. He was beautiful in a serene way no one else could match. Once Y/n had promised themselves they would make Link smile more, now they swore they would never let him forget this happiness. As long as they lived, the hero would never be alone.

Link leaned forward, bumping his nose against Y/n’s. They laughed softly, bumping back and with another heart stopping grin, softer yet just as beautiful. Leaning into each other, they kissed. It was soft and spoke to their dedication. A promise neither would part from the other. They would stand together as long as this world would let them.

They remained like that. Whispered I love you’s and butterfly kisses. Time seemed to mean nothing and everything all at once when they were together.

And despite their complaints about the heat earlier, neither one moved. This warmth was comfortable.

[rikalovesrice]

Brother

A ficlet inspired by this thread on Twitter, some “Douxie During Trollhunters” stuff I was working on a while back, and my love for Douxie and Jim being best bros UwU

@aaronwaltke and @biancasiercke if you guys ever wanna give this a read (Absolutely zero pressure! Just sharing💙)

Also a big thank you to my good friend @nikibogwater for proofreading for me! ^_^

Please enjoy!

~ ~ ~

Douxie still remembered the day a seven-year-old Jim Lake Jr. came through the door to Benoit’s, tugging his mom in after him by her hand. His big toothy smile when he exclaimed that it was his mom’s birthday and that he was paying for all of it, even the drinks.

“Are you now?” Douxie asked, handing the pair of them menus. They’d chosen a two-top right next to the windows, the backdrop of Arcadia under a soft orange sunset in full view. 

“I helped mom clean,” Jim said. “Like a lot. So I have lots of money.” He crossed his arms, throwing his mom, Barbara Lake, a cheeky grin. His black hair was on the long side and messy, sticking up and flopping in various places including over one of his eyes, though it did virtually nothing to hide his pride and excitement.

“Can you believe he wanted to spend his whole allowance on me?” Barbara said.

“Uh yeah! You’re the best mom ever!” Jim leaned towards Douxie, feigning a whisper. “She’s the best mom ever.”

Douxie chuckled. “I’m sure. And it looks like she’s got a great son to match.” Jim beamed, though a hint of shyness bloomed on his face.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name?” Barbara asked.

“Oh, quite alright. You can call me Douxie. I’ll be your server tonight.”

“Well thank you, Douxie.”

“Mom, can I get a milkshake?”

“Why are you asking me, little man? You’re the one paying.”

“Oh yeah.”

One shared entree of well done steak, a milkshake, and two free slices of cake (accompanied by Douxie’s acoustic guitar and a birthday song) later, Jim caught Douxie by the hem of his jacket after he’d set their receipt down. 

“Wait, Mister Douxie I uh…” Jim dug deep into his pockets, rummaging with a look of determination.

Douxie smiled, kneeling down beside him. “What is it, little man?”

“Um, wait, wait I need to...Oh!” Jim smiled big as he pulled a single coin out of his pocket. He held it straight out to Douxie, his eyes seeming to sparkle. “This is for you! Mom said that you should always tip people.”

Jim placed the coin in the center of Douxie’s palm. It was a nickel, a small bit of rust darkening ol’ Tommy’s profile. Douxie glanced over at Barbara, who was gazing at her son with an expression nothing short of pure endearment, glowing with pride. Douxie closed his fingers over the nickel and held it to his chest.

“A fine tip, indeed,” he said with a soft smile. “Thank you very much, Jim.”

Jim beamed. Then he was springing out of his chair, giggling as he gave Douxie a hug. How long had it been since he’d been smothered by someone who wasn’t Archie? Maybe long enough, because Douxie’s brain stopped working at the gesture, as did his arms. It registered more with every second that passed, the feeling of Jim’s small arms wrapped around him and his head on Douxie’s shoulder. Even without seeing his face, Douxie somehow knew Jim was smiling into his jacket. Something welled up in his heart, warm and touched. Douxie hugged Jim back, one hand on his back and the other gently holding his head.

“You’re awesome Mister Douxie!” Jim said as he pulled back, his hands still on Douxie’s shoulders. “Mom was really happy.”

“Hey now, I’m not the one who bought her dinner tonight.” Douxie ruffled Jim’s hair.

“Alright, Jim, Mister Douxie has to go back to work,” Barbara said softly. Jim’s expression fell and he began to wring his hands.

“No worries.” Douxie gave Jim’s shoulder a squeeze, tilting his head to look Jim in the eyes. “Chin up, buddy.  Next time you come in, I’ll still be here.”

Jim beamed. “Cool!”

“Go on, then.”

Jim hopped to his mother’s side, taking her hand. When he was distracted by one of Douxie’s co-workers wrestling with a malfunctioning blender, Barbara reached into her purse and pulled out a bill. She slipped it into Douxie’s hand, silently mouthing a thank you. Then the pair were off, stepping back out onto the streets of Arcadia under a pleasant evening. 

Douxie unrolled the bill.

Twenty dollars.

His eyes shot to the window in disbelief, catching Jim giving him one last wave goodbye. A deep breath turned into soft chuckling. Douxie waved back.

See you, little buddy.

~ ~ ~

The morning Archie reported Kanjigar’s death, they’d booked it to the canal. The last thing they wanted was for the Amulet of Daylight to wind up in the museum or in some kid’s backpack. Douxie would pick it up and then head right back to Arcane Books. So a brisk ten minute walk later, they were peering down the deep slope of the canal and spotted what must have been the remains of the Trollhunter. A heap of broken stone, just out of reach of the shadow of the bridge. Douxie closed his eyes, taking a moment to honor the fallen Protector of Trolls and Man. Wondering if, somehow, Merlin was doing the same.

“Alright Arch, let’s go — “ Before they could take another step, what looked like a boy on a bicycle suddenly launched over the other side of the canal, suspended in the air before diving back down and landing on his wheels. The boy skid to a halt and turned to holler behind him, up from where he’d come.

“Jim?” Douxie whispered, recognizing that head of black hair and those skinny legs. “A bit late for school, isn’t he?” Then Douxie felt a pinch of panic seize him. He prayed the kid would stay away from that odd pile of rocks.

“Come on Tobes!” Jim hollered.

And not a second later…

James...Lake.

A deep, echoing voice rumbled out into the atmosphere, buzzing in Douxie’s ears. Shock and disbelief struck Douxie like a manticore’s tail. He and Archie shared a look. The panic spiked.

Douxie watched, his heart beginning to pound harder and harder, as Jim faced the stone rubble, slowly removing his helmet. Another familiar face, Toby Domzalski, came struggling down the canal, falling onto his face as Jim passed under the bridge and approached what was left of Kanjigar.

“Do you think he heard the voice?” Archie said.

“No...It can’t be…He’s not…” It couldn’t be. Jim wasn’t a troll. Jim wasn’t a troll. And yet —

James Lake.

The voice rang out again. Jim yelled and fell backwards in surprise. 

“That pile of rocks knows my name!” Jim exclaimed, scrambling closer on his hands and knees. Douxie stared, mind still suspended in shock but gut starting to sink with dread as Jim dug around the rubble, eventually unearthing the Amulet of Daylight, its distinct soft blue glow ever hard to miss. 

Everything in Douxie wanted him to somehow swipe it from Jim’s hands. 

Because not him. 

Not Jim.

But Douxie also knew better. 

“What should we do, Douxie?” Archie asked. They ducked behind a tree when Toby started shouting for someone to reveal themselves. Made sense he would think it was a trick. Only magical beings or the chosen could hear the Amulet.

Only magical beings.... Or so Douxie had thought. Jim slipping the Amulet into his bag was a nail in the coffin.

“Well...we can’t take it now,” he said, eyes still trained on the boys. “The Amulet... seems to have made its choice….”

In the distance, the school bell of Arcadia Oaks rang out. Jim and Toby hurried back to their bikes, quickly mounting and taking off. When they were long gone, Douxie stepped out from behind the tree without a word, sliding down the canal and standing over the pile of stones. He stared off in the direction the boys had left, his mind reeling like nothing else, trying to comprehend what he’d seen and what it meant. 

Why it had to be Jim.

Archie joined him, climbing up on and inspecting the rubble.

“I know...the Amulet doesn’t make mistakes,” Douxie said quietly. “But...a human Trollhunter? And he’s only a child…” His voice quivered, pangs of worry and dread striking his heart.

“It’s...certainly a first,” Archie said, leaning a paw on Douxie’s leg. “I’m not sure what to make of this myself.” There was a long beat of silence before Archie spoke again. “What do you want to do, Douxie?”

What could they do? Was there anything to be done now? That and there wasn’t anyone he could discuss this with, at least who would know more.

If only you were here, Master… Douxie thought, one hand balling into a fist. He stewed in his thoughts for a moment longer before scooping Archie up onto his shoulders and heading back up the slopes of the canal.

“Douxie?” Archie said.

“We’ll keep doing what we’ve always done,” Douxie said. “Watch...and protect.” He didn’t have any answers. But it was done. The new Trollhunter had been chosen. 

Something stirred in Douxie’s chest, growing stronger as he remembered the smiling face of a seven-year-old boy who’d tipped him a nickel. Stronger still because Douxie knew. He knew what it was like to be so young and have so much, far too much, thrust upon him. Having his hand and the growth of his strength forced. The secrets that had to be kept, even from the ones he loved most, for their own safety. Pain he hadn’t known was coming. 

The loss. 

The loneliness.

The weight of the world.

When Douxie retired to his cot that night, he approached the small shine of silver on his nightstand. No, he didn’t have a clue what any of this meant. But what Douxie did know was that he’d be Jim’s greatest ally.  

He picked up the nickel and held it tight, a promise burning deep within him.

I’ll protect you.

~ ~ ~

Author’s Notes :

So I imagine that Jim and his mother ended up not frequenting the diner as much since Barbara was always so swamped and Jim was learning how to cook more at home. So Jim eventually just forgot about his first meeting with Douxie. But Douxie of course still continued to look out for him as best as he could. And I believe this is why Douxie saw Jim as family, even though he seemed to have only known him for a short time. In reality, though, Douxie always loved the kid💙

God bless and thank you all so much for reading!💙

[random-imagines-blog]

Teenage Queen {Viktor Krum x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2835 Summary: Related to one Champion, ex of another and the budding love interest of a third. It’s one weird year.

Your final year at Hogwarts was not turning out to be as perfect as you had expected. You were just hoping that everything would go as normal; no deadly and dangerous adventures for your little brother Harry and his friends, no fighting with your boyfriend Cedric. Just a perfectly mediocre year where you focus on your studies, get good NEWTS and move on to train at your dream job. And then along came The Triwizard Tournament. Well, at least it was for Seventh Years only, and you had no intention of entering - and your fourth year brother certainly wouldn’t have a part to play in it, would he?

You couldn’t have one simple year at Hogwarts, could you? Not that you blamed your brother but ever since he had come along in his first year, things have been going wrong left, right and center. First, your boyfriend Cedric had been chosen as the Hogwarts champion, which he didn’t even tell you that he had entered. You were mad about that, but then when it came to the interviews and Rita Skeeter poking around, you had enough of it. Even his friends were coming along and asking questions about your personal life, since he was the only one of the FOUR champions to have a partner. This ended up in you breaking up with him, because he didn’t see the big deal about all of the intrusive questions. It was mutual, eventually, but you had to wear him down in order for him to see that it would be better if you spent some time apart.

And then Harry, sweet little Harry Potter who couldn’t catch a break, was chosen to be the Fourth Champion, which was entirely unheard of. You had charged into the room where the champions were and you gave Dumbledore a mouthful of words, as well as the Minister of Magic, but the rules were the rules and he had to compete. You tried throwing back that the rules had stated that it was only for Seventh Years, and that there was only to be one champion per school, but they claimed that their hands were tied. After that, you took Harry’s hand and pulled him out of there so the two of you could talk alone.

You were devastated. Especially in the coming days when it became apparent that a lot of people, including his best friend, thought that he had put his name in the Goblet of Fire. It was completely far away from Harry’s personality, and you vowed to help him through everything, studying your ass off on his tasks on top of your school work. He still had Hermione, though, and that was a relief. You were more worried about him than you had been about Cedric, whom you were convinced would do absolutely fine in the Tournament, and probably didn’t need your assistance.

-

You were sitting by the lake one day, doing your extra-curriculars. You took just the necessary classes this year, having dropped Divination and Arithmancy so you wouldn’t have to study as hard. But you were doing studies of your own, particularly in Russian. You wanted a job in which you got to travel the world, so you decided that taking languages, a course only done through talking books, was a good way to go. You were fluent in French, and learned more about pronunciation through the Beauxbatons students, but you didn’t know much Russian, so you decided to take that up so you could communicate with Durmstrang as well.

You were coming along pretty well, though your pronunciation needed some work. You were practicing in the weak sunlight of the Scottish Autumn, muttering to yourself. “Ya chuvstvuyu-” You started to pronounce, then realized it didn’t sound right, so you tried again. “Ya chuvstvuya,” You put more emphasis in, “-tvoyu lyubov segodnya.”

“Ochen khorosho!” The book praised back to you. You smiled, the romantic phases being something that you wanted to master. Okay, so maybe you weren’t entirely over the break-up with Cedric. It wasn’t him in particular, it was just having someone to care about, someone to care about you that you missed.

“Who var you talking to?” A puzzled voice said. You looked up from the speaking book to see that there was a student in front of you. You were so into your book that you hadn’t even noticed anyone approaching. The sun was behind him, casting his face in shadow, though the robes showed Durmstrang.

“Myself,” You said, then held up the book to show what you were doing. “Practicing Russian. I’m on the chapter of romantic phrases.”

The student looked delighted, and much to your surprise, he sat down with you, looking over the pages. It was only as he leaned over to take a closer look, his finger running across some of the words, which made the book giggle aloud, that you realized exactly who it was. You turned red at this realization - because it was nonother than celebrity champion Viktor Krum, who you had just seen at the World Cup. You remembered the way that Cedric had gushed over how good of a seeker he was, and how amazing his flying techniques were.

“This one good-” He said, pointing to a certain phrase and then said it out loud. You read along with it, your eyes following his finger, but he added more to the sentence, words that you weren’t sure of.

“What does that mean?” You asked, realizing that you were still as red as a rose at his close proximity. You tried to tell yourself to act natural, pretend that it wasn’t a celebrity - a very handsome celebrity - that was this close to you, but you found it impossible. It wasn’t everyday that someone came into your space like this. The last person had been Cedric, but the two of you didn’t spend any time together since the break up. Just nods in the hallways, and awkward grins if you had a class together. You haven’t tried to date anyone else since, though Rita kept coming up with stories about you cheating on him with other boys. You hoped she wasn’t snooping around now with that damn quill of hers.

“You var my paradise,” He said, in his heavily accented English. That part was in the book. “-My...” He looked around, as if having trouble with translation. He pointed up at the sky, and then did little flapping motions with his hands. When you gave him a puzzled look, he put his hands above his head, his index and thumbs together to make a circle.

“Heaven?” You asked. He shook his head so you took another guess after piecing it together. “Heaven?" He nodded, with a smile and then continued to look around. He then pointed straight towards the sun, which was hiding behind clouds. “Sun?” You guessed once more. He nodded again.

“You var my paradise - my heaven - my sun.” He said, looking quite proud of himself. And he was saying it while he was looking right at you, which just made you feel all the warmer. You hadn’t really given anyone attention since Cedric, and since most of Hogwarts thought you two were the dream couple, no one else had tried to hit on you. But here was Viktor Krum, reciting such lovely things for you in a language that you were only beginning to understand.

“Beautiful,” You muttered in his mother tongue, and he beamed as he recognized the word. Until it was no longer light enough to study, and you had to conjure up a light and keep it in a jar - thank you Hermione for that idea - in order to see anything, he helped you along with your studies. And yet, you never seemed to get past the chapter of romance. He introduced you to new phrases, and would practice with you until you had the pronunciation down perfectly. The book had been quiet for a while, having no critiques for you, you were doing so well. “Thank you so much - you taught me a lot,” You said, getting onto your feet.

“You’re velcome,” He said, bowing his head respectfully, jumping up effortlessly. You scrambled to put your book into your bag, and he helped you, holding your bag open for you. “Maybe you can help me,” He suggested. You tilted your head, questioning what this man could ever want help with. The first task had gone swimmingly for him, he was a Quidditch star, he was handsome to boot. “With een-glish.”

“Oh, of course!” You said with a grin. “I would love to help. Why don’t you meet me in the library on Saturday?”

-

Four different boys asked you to the Yule Ball, and you had said yes to only one of them - sort of. Unfortunately for Harry, it wasn’t his best friend Ron who just seemed desperate to go with anyone. When you told the two boys that you already had a date, your brother kept questioning who it was. He seemed to have a theory that you were back with Cedric, which couldn’t be further from the case. You just left them guessing, looking forward to seeing their faces when you appeared.

Thanks to the small fortune that your parents had left for you and Harry, you were able to afford a stunning dress. And with some small alterations, you could probably make it last forever. It was your favorite color, floor length with see-through sleeves and a pinched waist to really bring out your body shape.

That, along with your confident smile and you were ready to go.

Your date wasn’t in your house, in fact he wasn’t even from this school. You flushed as you remembered exactly what Viktor had done in order to ask you, and you had to applaud his trickiness. He had written out ‘Will you go to the ball with me’ in Russian, and asked you to translate it. You had done so, thinking that perhaps he wanted to ask out one of the many Hogwarts girls who had fawned after him throughout the hallways, but instead of repeating it back to you, he had said ‘Love to.’ It took you a minute to realize what he had done, and you couldn’t stop laughing once you had it figured out. You agreed with that, and your date was set.

You were going to the Yule Ball with a champion. That was what worried you the most. The attention that you were going to get since you and Viktor had to participate in a dance in front of the student body. He hadn’t had the time to practice, since his own Headmaster was keeping him busy with studying for the tasks, but you did have another willing partner. Your brother Harry. It was easiest with him since he had to do the same dance at the same time.

As you walked down the stairs with a couple of other girls who were meeting their dates, you were nervous to see if all of that practicing had paid off. You caught your brother’s eye as he went down the stairs and gave him a confident wink. He had asked out one of the Patil twins, you had heard, and you were very much looking forward to teasing him about it after all was said and done. Your date wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs in the herd like many of the other males, but further back, trying not to bring attention to himself. He stepped forward when you reached the foot of the staircase, maneuvering expertly through the people in his red suit, and held his hand out to you. You took hold of it, making many in the crowd gasp.

“Krum?” You heard your brother and his best friend say in unison.

You gave a teasing little wave to them as you were lead into the Great Hall, which had been transformed into a beautiful ballroom for the occasion. It looked like a winter wonderland in here, and it took your breath away. You were given a grand entrance, where Viktor, Fleur and Harry were also introduced, before taking part in the dance. You couldn’t help but notice that you were also getting looks from Cedric, who was here with Cho Chang, a pretty Ravenclaw.

You ignored all of those looks, focusing on Viktor, and Viktor alone. He remained the stiff, very concentrated man that you had gotten to know through your studies, though once in a while, when no one was looking, he smiled. The dance went off without a hitch, which was amazing considering he had to lift you. That’s the part that you were nervous about, but his strong arms managed to do the task and you felt safe throughout. You did feel a little better once both feet were on the ground.

Once the dance was over, and the band began playing something less traditional and upbeat, you were able to blend more into the crowd. “I get us drinks,” Viktor winked, giving you a thumbs up as he departed from your side for the first time of the night. You felt even more flushed by the wink than you did by the dance, so you leaned back against one of the columns and took a glance to see who had brought whom.

You smiled as you watched Harry and Ron sitting, refusing to dance with their dates. An older Gryffindor had asked Hermione, and the two of them were out on the dance floor. For the first time, it seemed like the school was entirely at peace. Houses with other houses and schools with other schools. You couldn’t help smiling as Hagrid danced with Madame Maxime. Even Dumbledore had a turn on the dance floor.

“May I have a dance?” A familiar voice said from next to you. You turned to look into those honey colored eyes that had made you swoon the year before, but now - now you just felt nothing. And it was great to just feel nothing.

“I don’t think so,” You said, smiling through your rejection. “Viktor will be back any minute with some drinks. I’m absolutely parched.”

“He wouldn’t let you dance with an old friend?” Cedric asked, raising an eyebrow. You saw through what he was doing, unfortunately. Playing the nice guy. You realized that him seeing you with Viktor must really have gotten under his skin.

“I’m sure he would,” You said, demurely. This was like something right out of a book for teenagers. A love triangle - but you weren’t going to let it be that way. That required feelings for the third person, and you no longer had that. Still, you felt like some sort of Queen with all of the attention that you were getting. “But I honestly just want to save every dance for him. He’s a wonderful dancer, must come with being a professional athlete. Did you see him out there?”

“I did,” Cedric conceded. “And I saw how happy you were - so I’m happy for you, y/n.”

“I’d hope so,” You said, spotting Viktor coming forward. You excused yourself from Cedric, and went to meet him, taking the glass of punch from his hands. You noticed that for the first time in the night, he wasn’t looking at you, but was scowling over at Cedric. You had told him about your past with Cedric, and about your brother being Harry. It hadn’t worried him at all that you were close with two of the other contestants, or at least it hadn’t until now. “Thank you,” You said, laying your hand upon his arm as you took a sip from the glass goblet.

“Vhat did he vant?” Viktor asked, pointing his chin towards Cedric, who was still standing by the column, looking at you solemnly. You shook your head as the ugly beast called jealousy made an appearance.

“He wanted to tell me that he’s happy for me, that I’m here with you,” You said, smiling, since it was a truth, though maybe not the whole truth. “And I must say, I share the feeling.”

The stoic look remained on Viktor’s face for a moment more. You didn’t like it. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. You leaned in and pressed a kiss onto his stubbled cheek, and grew excited as it seemed to light up. He was finally smiling once again, and you both turned so your backs were towards your ex. “Vant to dance?” He asked, draining his own cup.

“With you?” You said, leaning in so you could rest his head on his broad shoulder. “All night long.”