#at least i guess it's meta/analysis

[pesky--dust]

I feel like it's harder for me to express my thoughts lately, but I've been thinking a lot about Beverly Katz and I cannot stand being alone with my thoughts anymore, so I’m sorry. 

When Will was in Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Beverly was one of the few people who visited him there. She needed his help at work, but at the same time, we know that even before, without any hidden motives, she genuinely cared about his life. We also know she's the oldest child in the family. It is very common for the oldest children to feel responsible for their younger siblings.

I believe she feels the same sense of responsibility towards Will, like if he is her younger brother, which is why she tries to be there for him when he needs comfort. 

Beverly is in a few episodes, but I won’t write about every single of them. I'm going to focus on the things that support my thesis about her perceiving Will as her younger sibling.

In Amuse Bouche she asks him about his well-being, tries to joke with him (he had just killed a man, to protect an innocent person and himself!), teaches him how to hold a gun properly. 

In Coquilles she again shows concern about his condition and I have the impression that in this dialogue she speaks to him like to a child she doesn’t want to frighten:

In Buffet froid there is a lot of interactions between them. First, when panicked Will races out into the hallway, she stares at him and asks with a hint of concern “Will?”. When Will tries to reassure himself he didn’t kill Beth LeBeau, he calls Beverly and when she hears he called her,  because he is not entirely sure what he saw was real, the script says “That admission almost breaks her heart, but it doesn't show.”. She tells him that he is the subject of a lot of speculation at the bureau, since people speculating that Jack pushed him right up to the edge and now he is pushing himself over. Later in the same episode she checks Will for evidence that would tell he killed Dr. Sutcliffe and reassures him that there's nothing that would indicate he is the person responsible for killing Dr. Sutcliffe.

When Will is arrested for evidence suggesting he killed Abigail Hobbs, Beverly is unable to maintain complete professionalism and talks to him while collecting evidence from his body. She tells him she didn't want to find anything on him, but since Will always says he's interpreting evidence, he should do it now. She is angry, disappointed and she says, “You should have recused yourself from any investigation. (...) However far over the edge you were leaning, I was hoping that you wouldn’t fall.”

As I have written already — when Will is in Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Beverly is one of the few people who visits him there. They make a deal — he helps her with work, she tries to prove he is innocent and she is going to check Hannibal Lecter. We know how it ends for her — Hannibal kills her and Will is needed to resolve this case. Here is a piece of the script from this scene:

Later Will tries to kill Hannibal Lecter by proxy, because he is mad about everything Hannibal caused in his life; he knew about Will’s encephalitis, framed him for his crimes, killed Abigail Hobbs and Beverly, Will's only friend. 

However it turns out Will has to change tactic and he ends up falling in love with Hannibal, they are known as murder husbands! On the one hand, I imagine that because of that Beverly has to turn in her grave because she died trying to prove that Hannibal was guilty of crimes Will was accused of, and on the other hand, Will and Beverly really liked each other, and in my opinion, Beverly felt like his older sister, so I feel torn because I think she would, to some extent, enjoy Will's happiness anyway. One way or another, man, this whole situation is sick, especially if you look at it from Beverly's perspective.

[dreamytfw]

Not liking Cas because he let Sam out of the panic room in s4 and no one ever found out sure is... a choice. For a few of reasons.

a) Cas was under direct orders from Heaven at the time. He hadn't fully rebelled yet. And it was either carry out orders or be killed. Cas really didn't have a choice. And after he'd rebelled in s5, he didn't let Sam out of the panic room

b) Dean said he'd let Sam die in that panic room. He let Sam's hallucinations torture him. The detox Dean tried to do was cruel and inhumane, and can very easily be read as retaliation for Sam "choosing" Ruby over Dean (note: this does not mean it is the ONLY reading. And regardless of if you subscribe to the retaliation reading, the conditions Dean put Sam in were still cruel and inhumane). Hating Cas for letting Sam out of abusive, cruel, and inhumane conditions, but not hating Dean for doing that to Sam in the first place. Hm. Interesting.

c) This is a Doyalist reason rather than a Watsonian one, but it's still worth bringing up imo. From a writing perspective, I'm not sure who else was going to let Sam out. Demons can't open the door, so Ruby or even Lilith aren't options. iirc Dean and Bobby are the only humans that know Sam is in there, and they're not going to let him out because they've convinced themselves this is the right thing to do. Uriel's dead, and Anna's off doing her own thing. There literally was not another character who could have let Sam out. And the writers had to let Sam out to let the plot move forward. Like, if anyone can think of another character that was available, let me know. But just from a writing stand point, I literally cannot think of who else would have been able to let Sam out.

d) Blood freak Sam is extremely hot, so really, we should be thanking Cas for letting him be a feral little guy.

If people want to be mad at Cas, I can't stop them. But hating him for letting Sam out of the panic room in s4 is, imo, one of the dumbest and most inconsistent reasons. Dean was literally torturing Sam to death, but sure, yeah, let's be mad at the guy who was being forced under penalty of death to let Sam out. Like what kind of logic??

[xelasrecords]

Interpreter Richter's Tragic Endings

I find Vyn's character to be the most tragic in most endings (Artem's is a close runner-up) because no matter the outcome, he cannot win. He loses his freedom for Rosa or loses her for power or simply dies to protect her. What Interpreter Richter truly wants is the freedom that one can only have with power, so he accumulates it at all costs without moral scruples.

These are all from different endings:

This one hurts the most though, because he knew he'd be forever chained to the gang that he wanted to be free from if he helped Rosa, yet he did it anyway. All for her. And she didn't even realise.

[scrawlingskribbles]

3am now & i am literally nauseous with how tired i am but my STUPID BRAIN will not SHUT UP abt ashen nonsense just absolutely RACING with ridiculous crap and c3< ideas & i am soooo tireddddddd fr TTwTT

[sharoo]

The Flower-Seeker, the Robot, and the City without Faith

It's me again emerging from my mole's burrow to leave a thematic analysis piece and then bury myself again for a few more months.

Spoilers for Canto 7

CW for mentions of suicidal ideation and some death talk

Let's talk about Bari and her role in the world of Projmoon.

I think everyone who experienced LoR before Limbus was in the same camp as me upon the reveal of Bari.

Which is to say:

The chat was not normal.

But now I've had some time to cool off and actually think and Bari's position in her world is honestly kind of fascinating, especially as a take on immortal characters.

Because first and foremost, Bari has to be ancient. In a meta sense, sprites of the Book Hunter, as we knew her back then, date back all the way to Lobcorp. In universe meanwhile, she was already a long time traveller before she met Don Quixote senior and Sancho. She was there when the Associations were being established and competing for popularity. That was, on the low end, several hundred years ago. We don't know how long it took to construct La Manchaland, or how long that operated before everything fell apart and Quixote Senior sealed everyone away for 200 years.

All through this, Bari hasn't aged a day. My guess is that it's possibly thanks to the river of immortality Xichun mentions, or something else found outside the City.

And this is where we hit one of my favourite tropes - immortals passing time.

1. Remember that you will not die

One of the most interesting things to consider in fiction is the question of "What would you do if you were immortal? You'd have infinite time to do anything you desired - to travel, learn, rest. What would you do?"

Very often, humans who undergo this process in stories eventually begin to stagnate. They end up not doing anything, because internal motivation disappears. This is understandable, because, to get a little memento mori for a moment here, death is the biggest motivator we humans have - it's our time limit. You only get X amount of time to enjoy certain things, to achieve certain goals, so that at the tail end of it you'll be able to reminisce and hopefully smile before you expire. Add to it that age itself limits us, be it youth not allowing us independence or old age slowing us down and limiting us with weakness, and you can see how we are driven, at least in theory, to live life fully as long as we can.

To lose that - the constant dread of your body slowly, but surely, progressing towards failure, breaking down little by little, is to rob us of our inherent motivator. It is a very large part of being a human, really. A lot of our lives and cultures circle around this immutable fact that we don't last, and our questions regarding the why and the what comes after. Religion exists to answer most of those questions.

So... what does one do when they lose that, and become immortal without purpose?

They seek another. Or they disappear.

2. Faith (A Ruina tangent)

Before I get to Bari, it's important to examine her debut game, and the one person she interacts with (and believe me I have thoughts about it).

So, Angela. Our most beloved not-human with all the characteristics of humanity except a lifespan, and a perfect example of an immortal trying to pass time.

LoR goes to great lengths to show her desperation going back all the way to Lobcorp. It shows, quite clearly, first her inability to cope with the circumstances Ayin stuck her in, followed by her resignation to fate and a silent wish for the end. I will not mince words, Angela reads to me back then as silently suicidal, in that she's given up on any other solution to her pain but the conclusion of the play. Then, and only then, was she to be allowed to rest. She had no say in when the play would end so she could only hope it eventually would.

She yearned for death. But then, something changed. Netzach points out that indeed, though she wished for the end, she truly wanted to live. To exist, to escape her prison and to finally know this world besides the pain. That desire gave her enough humanity to manifest her own EGO.

All with the purpose of seeking the One Book that'd give her humanity, and, in her eyes, make her finally complete and able to live in happiness.

The most important part of LoR for this analysis is the Floor of Religion, and Hokma's view of faith. Honestly I'd recommend watching through all of these because it's so poignant. Or better yet, watch Hydrojoy's Angela video (the fact they've got so few subscribers with this level of analysis is a crime honestly).

Some lines I want to focus on, though, are these:

Things without purpose shall disappear. People without purpose will similarly expire.

Angela admits to herself that she doesn't know what she's doing. She's simply chasing some sort of meaning - revenge, freedom from her robotic condition, power, knowledge, anything that'll give her fulfilment.

And in the forgiveness route, she finally finds that in companionship of Roland and, I'd like to think, the Librarians.

But if she doesn't forgive, she ends up losing any purpose besides continuous revenge. There is no companionship when the Librarians turn on her for betraying them. There's no use in being human when it doesn't benefit her mission, and frankly just makes it harder because it makes her easier to harm. There's no point leaving the library when outside will not welcome her, it's much safer to stay inside forever.

There is no point to anything. Angela's revenge is hollow, really - Ayin is dead and no amount of sticking it to him will earn a response from a dead guy.

Enter the Book Hunter.

I will be honest in saying I don't fully understand what they both mean, with them speaking in sort of vague terms. It sounds like Bari was employed by Angela to kill other Book Hunters (perhaps in exchange for knowledge?).

What matters to me, though, are the final lines - the recognition of what Angela is and delivering death to the last librarian.

3. The Scholar of Meaning and the Reaper of the Meaningless

As the Limbus wiki points out, Bari is likely named after a Korean funerary goddess who sought both a healing river and a flower of immortality. But this influence strikes me especially in the context of her being an immortal who meets a lot of other (and often younger) immortals.

She's wise to the fact that all things need meaning to exist. They need an ambition, a wish, something to strive for.

So she attempts to give it to them.

This is shown not just explicitly with Quixote senior, but also with Quixote junior after Sancho gives up her memory, itself a form of death Bari guides her to. For 200 years, Bari made sure to visit Don Quixote and leave her letters so that this person who was once a dear friend may dream, may have meaning and a purpose in her immortal life.

Because you need something to drive you in life, be it becoming a legendary fixer, creating a place where Bloodfiends can live in peace with humans, or searching for a flower which grew from the mysterious rivers flowing through your world.

And if you have lost purpose and can no longer find one, if she cannot save you from that void, she will be there to put you out of your misery, for a meaningless eternity is its own sort of hell, and cruelty it perpetuates is nothing but needless.

In her own words - you must pursue your dream, even if it means wagering your life in the chase.

I think Bari's view of the Bloodfiends' illness and what Carmen describes as the disease humanity could be similar if not the same thing. Roland says in Floor of Religion's first episode that the City has no established religion - people focus on their immediate survival, suffering is everpresent, and the more organised religious-seeming groups are cults trying to exploit you.

The City has lost its purpose. People do not dream, or are not allowed to for long because those dreams are swiftly quashed. Carmen offers an out to suffering through becoming so unapologetically yourself you gain the power to enact your will on the world, for better or worse.

Bari seeks, I think, to give the same, but through simple companionship. Not cohersion, not magic, but through the same thing that has given so many people across this franchise meaning - having a friend to be there for you as you look for what drives you. Because to be alone in meaninglessness is the most cruel and difficult thing. I wonder if she knows that from experience...

I really hope we get more of Bari in the future so I can see if my analysis is more fanfiction than truth but with just the bits we have I have to say she's one of my favourite secondary characters in Limbus.

[rbtlvr]

anyways i was thinking about that one thing id5 said about sif not apologizing (except in act 6 ofc) (from this post)

and thinking about the times loop says sorry (genuinely, bc theres at least one time they say it . lightheartedly? i guess? when they talk to you in the clocktower in act 2 to tell you some more stuff about zoning out:)

BUT there are also a very very few times they say it genuinely such aaaaaaas...

in the loop hangout:

(ironically enough, they say they WONT say sorry later:)

(like, i guess thats technically true if youre only looking at the semantics, since they dont say sorry after that. but like. they already said it before so ummm)

at the end of their conversation in act 5:

aaaaand of course in twohats when they win:

(it could maybe be argued that that last one isnt Really genuine because theyre kind of manic rambling but like. to me that whole monologue really really reads as them trying to talk themself into killing siffrin

and idk Quite how to put it in words but that kinda makes me feel like it is genuine? like they dont want to. theyre trying to get themself to do it but they dont want to so theyre saying sorry because they dont want to but they feel like they have to. or something. shrugs)

anyways. i dont have a big long meta analysis on what those instances mean or something i just thought it was interesting. maybe something about how the only time sif really apologizes is in act 6 after hes really really hurt everyone and how all the situations where loop apologizes are ones where they are/have/are going to/are trying to/think they have really really hurt siffrin. idk

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok so I already think this is probably/definitely wrong but I wanted to expand on it a little because I guess it made me think of something.

There’s a game I started replaying, and a moment in it was kind of the impetus for me to start creating this post in the first place. In it, a character who has lost all the people dear to him expresses that he can no longer bring himself to love another, and instead, takes his strong capacity for love and extends it to all the people around him in a kind of shallow, evenly-split kindness without connection. He can’t open up, so he gives what he can to keep everyone around him a little bit happier and safer - because this is an acceptable form of love. His refusal to open up again isn’t solely out of the fear of more loss, but also because his love and grief has twisted and been tangled up with uglier feelings, like resentment and anger and hate. It would all come spilling out if he were to open up again, and that wouldn’t be fair to the person he, hypothetically, could love. Better to keep at a distance, he says. And while replaying, I thought, hey that. Kind of sounds a bit like Vash to me. (Now, the character has little else in common with him asides from this, but I digress. It also sounds a little like me but let’s not get into that.)

Vash’s entire personality and purpose of being revolves around him being helpful and compassionate and good. By contrast, his reputation and biggest fears are wrapped up in tragedy and destruction that he feels responsible for, and this is already with him constantly tamping down and trying to mitigate the more dangerous parts of himself.

When I say that Vash may fear wanting, I don’t necessarily mean the act of wanting itself, but more like - if I let myself open up, even that little crack, what else comes flooding out with it? All these things I might hunger for that I could never have. That I could never let myself have. What else comes seeping through the cracks with it?

Because right now, the love Vash has is of the distant, selfless kind. It fits snugly with the person he decides to be, the person he’d want to be if he actually, truly had a choice in the matter. It’s an even-split kind of love; a compassion he allots to everyone. But then there is the personal kind of love - the kind of love he had for Rem, and that is far more complex and messy than clean simple good will. It’s both the most selfless thing and also selfish. To love is to prioritize; to place certain people above others because they are special to your heart. Along with that kind of love comes powerful emotion - both positive and negative. Constructive and destructive. It’s wrapped and tangled with grief and guilt and rage and all the complex things he’s pushed down inside of him and probably hasn’t spent any time attempting to pull apart.

And there is undoubtedly some ugliness there that he does not want to let spill out. Any love he has for his brother is tainted by resentment for Rem’s death. He has a sense of retribution which fights in his head with the concept of second chances he wants to give everyone. His anger is terrifying. Moreover, he’s a big ball of rarely expressed pain, trauma, and messy mixed feelings that probably not even he fully understands - after all, a pretty significant part of his character is that there are things he does not actually know about himself. This is more in keeping with his being a plant and his unknown powers but I see no reason it wouldn’t also encapsulate the more human side of things too. If he lets himself want things, I wonder, is he scared of what might come out? What other ugly things might lie within? He’s spent his whole life being treated as a threat; he regards himself as a threat! If he opens those floodgates, do you think he fears releasing even more destructive and unknown parts of himself that would have remained dormant if he just pushed it all down a little further? Pushed a little further away?

Truthfully, if this really is a fear of Vash’s, I think it’d be pretty unfounded. I can’t see him honestly wanting much more than peace and comfort - lots of affection, probably; some nice food. Any “ugliness” would reveal itself over time and would be no less the end of the world than anyone else’s ugliness that he’s seen and exposed himself to for as long as he has. Importantly, it wouldn’t detract from the person he chooses to be - Vash is not a weapon by choice; he’s always forced into that role. Vash might not be human, but the emotions wrapped up inside him are painfully, recognizably so, and they can be handled with the same compassion he allots to others. People have hands made to handle such delicate, tangled things. They cannot do what he does for everyone on the planet, but they can handle him. He is not too much to bear, and sharing the load with another is not selfish. That’s the grief and guilt talking, bud.

But then again, that’s the nature of fears like this; many times they are somewhat unfounded, or snowballed from the context they originated from. Wanting is scary when your entire being revolves around not that. Opening up is unacceptable when you are not sure what might spill out with it.

Anyways. Please don’t take this as serious analysis. I can do a lot better than this usually and truthfully, I’m also doing some mad self-projecting here, which I am of the mind reduces my credibility as an analyst but oh well. Consider this as an interesting potential to think on. Maybe.

I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.

But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.

Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.

I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.

I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?

Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?

I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.

...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[retributory]

Thank you for the post saying Binghe wouldn't care if he found out Shen Yuan replaced Shen Jiu, I saw a post on that danmei confessions blog that was something like "Shen Yuan being compared to Helen of Troy is accurate bc they both bring ruin to those around them, since if people found out about Shen Yuan then Cang Diong would want Shen Jiu's body back for a burial (so they would basically exorcise Shen Yuan out of it I guess and he'd die again) and Luo Binghe would break up with him for not being able to trust him anymore" and that pissed me off so much bc like. Worstie how can you read the novel and be this wrong about everything in it. Personally I don't think people know Shen Yuan replaced Shen Jiu (except maybe Binghe) but if they found out about how he was forced to due to the System, like he was a hostage and cursed by some entity, they certainly wouldn't blame him or force him to leave. I mean literally the only person who would mourn Shen Jiu is Yue Qingyuan, and he likes the current Shen Yuan too! He wouldn't want him dead either. Idk how some people can misinterpret a novel's point this bad but I wish they'd stop talking about it as if they're facts

yeah idk the average user on that blog appears to be reading entirely different novels and you go in the notes and people are nodding sagely as if the posts make sense. like if the actual text of the novel disagrees with you i think you're just wrong lol.

and yeah they . . . pretty much have already guessed it isn't shen jiu anyways. like they don't know who it IS, or what exactly the truth of the situation is, because the system and such are out of their scope of knowledge, but they're quite confident in running theories like "qi deviation-induced amnesia and personality change," so they don't consider him the same guy anyways. they were actively shocked it WASN'T possession (though the possession theory is kind of correct. lol). it's also so weird to think that cqms would (for lack of nicer terms) give a fuck at all if sy DID maliciously possess sj. in the original timeline it's made pretty clear no one comes to sj's defense except yqy, because sj specifically desires that outcome. sj isn't some helpless baby at the whims of everyone around him - he specifically and intentionally seeks to ruin his own life and the lives of everyone around him, or at the very least make them as miserable around him as possible. thus, no one else likes or misses him at all, and in fact every peak lord at that meeting was jumping for joy that they got Other Guy instead of sj, which is a contributing factor to why they just decide to simply not call him out on it.

i also think (says guy who posts about svsss 3 times a day) people are like. taking it too serious. you're not supposed to be seriously considering lines of thought like that because svsss is a transmigration parody novel of xianxia power fantasies - whatever exists in the background exists purely to support the world of this satire. and while that certainly is a fun topic for meta - i enjoy reading posts like that! - it becomes irritating when the meta is framed as if somehow you are in the wrong for enjoying a novel the way it was intended to be enjoyed by the author, and that the only True way to enjoy it is through enlightened meta-contextual analysis that assumes all the characters are actually different people.

someone on that blog was like "why doesn't svsss expand on the lore and fights and characters!!!" because they don't matter to the story my friend. not every novel is lord of the rings. this is xianxia transmigration parody novel my friend. just read . . . an actual stallion novel. actually really do that because then you'll form a connection with sy because these things are written SO bad and then you'll understand him LMFAO

[makoredeyes]

So I heard you saying you can go into a full analysis of the Memory of Felwinter artifact... *settles with a cup of tea* I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! 👀💙

Aaah I wanted so badly to reply while I was sitting and waiting at the Pet ER with my damn cat (she's fine just... old with old lady problems) but my phone was nearly dead when I got this TT^TT I had time to (sort of) gather my thoughts at least. Sort of! My brain is glue. But here's a shot at it.

@zalia wanted some relic analysis too <3 Ya'll're teaming up on me I love it XD

I'm actually going to try really hard to keep my headcanons and exaggerations out of this, as tempting as it is to really lean into some of this stuff, and you'll maybe recognize how a fair bit of it has seeped into my writing...but today, I'm going to try and keep it mostly to what I can read about.

First some facts:

The Memory of Felwinter could be used to trade the player's super in exchange for an extra melee, extra grenade, and boosts to armor, recovery, and agility*.

In a way the imagery on the artifact actually somewhat describes what the artifact does! It is extremely militant, and at first seems a little contradictory, but I think is actually really insightful.

The crossed swords, when facing downward like this, symbolize peace, the end of a conflict, or even surrender.

The Laurel wreath behind them on the other hand, broadly refers to victory. (Laurel is also associated with the god Apollo, and while there seems a clear martial reference here, it is also used to reference competitive and collegiate accolades which I think I would be remiss in mentioning) That particular knot around the border is tougher for me to make out but it might be from my guess a Celtic Dara knot which is a symbol of strength, wisdom, and endurance as referenced by the mighty roots of the Oak tree it's meant to resemble. I admit I am far less placed to make a solid call here and will gladly be corrected but it seems fitting. So who do we have here? Someone who willingly gives up what one would suspect is his greatest power (super) to boost his more militant aspects: in this case specifically hand to hand combat and ordinance, as well as his defenses. He is stronger, faster, and better armored, and better equipped to pack a real hard hit up close and personal. What looks at first like surrender is actually a wicked tactical move straight for victory.

Now pair that knowledge with the stun aspect of Felwinter's Helm (**Reminder for other readers: this was not Felwinter's exotic. This was Felwinter's signature move, bestowed upon the rest of us through that exotic. "Felwinter's Helm" was just Felwinter's hat. But I have to describe it somehow so I'm doing it per in-game meta for the sake of my own analytical sanity...) and the stacking boost of eliminations with melee strengthens melee with Winter's Guile (...which we don't know for sure but can pretty safely assume were Felwinter's exotic of choice if you will) and all of this paints the picture of one pretty scrappy rough and tumble hands-on guy if you ask me. *As a complete aside: I love that there's a boost to agility too. All the brawling tendencies of a Titan and the speed of a Hunter. Dude spent his formative years playing Frogger dodging Warsats I bet he could outrun anything if and when he needed to.

[sunderingstars]

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CHARACTER LINES ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, somewhat a character study, elation!sampo

— word count: 4.6k (oh my god i am insane. he makes me insane)

— overview: (as of 2.4) an analysis of sampo’s character dialogue outside of quests!

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ INTRO ⌝

I’m putting this here because I wasn’t sure where else to put it, I just wanted to point out that his character intro describes him as someone who “travels freely” between two places (in this case, the Overworld and Underworld, but could also apply to multiple states of being) as well as saying he “acts” like he is everyone’s friend (performance) and is “enthusiastically humorous” (very similar to “infectious enthusiasm”). Being good at bantering also seems very Elation-aligned. That’s all!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ FIRST MEETING ⌝

Each character’s “first meeting” line is arguably one of their most important lines. Not only does it give you a baseline introduction to them and their personality, but it shows you how they present themselves to others (i.e. the aspects of themselves they choose to consciously, or unconsciously, emphasize when meeting someone). For Sampo, this includes all of the “perks” that come with knowing him. Business, chaperoning, conversation — these are all part of a “deal” to him, a transaction of knowing and being known.

I haven’t talked about this much in my previous analyses, but Sampo has a very specific mindset of viewing friendship as a commodity. This could easily be chalked up to his idea of business and transaction rubbing off on other parts of his life, but given the strange emphasis he places on “being friends” throughout his dialogue, I’m suspicious it might be more than that. It seems he either isn’t willing to or isn’t capable of seeing genuine human connection as any more than another deal, another façade to do business with. It may be his way of keeping people at arm’s length, or perhaps the Elation won’t let him view people as anything more than another joke, another transaction of language and Laughter to make at another’s expense. Whatever the case, he seems dead-set on including “friendship” in his package deal when doing business.

I also find it interesting how he isn’t wrong. For someone who has a penchant for distorting the truth on a whim, Sampo is, in fact, a “chaperone” and “problem-solving conversationalist.” (“Businessman” is a given, we all know how well that’s going for him given that he literally has an idle where he counts his big stacks of money.) Despite not really having to, Sampo goes out of his way on Penacony to take the Trailblazer around and show us the dream bubble — even if it’s not a “traditional” chaperone role, it’s clear he was trying to look out for us in his own way (same thing on Belobog with the smoke bombs). Additionally, he’s very adept at solving problems by sheer virtue of talking, as shown by being the archetype that’s able to talk himself out of a myriad of situations. So at the end of the day, I guess I’d have to agree with him: it is a pretty sweet deal.

However, arguably the most intriguing thing about this line is the meta aspect of it — the big picture of his selling point being multiple things “rolled into one.” I don’t want to read too much into it, but I can’t help but wonder if this “three-in-one” phrase refers to more than just his skills. After all, if a running theme of his character is being a businessman and a chaperone and a problem-solving conversationalist, who’s to say it doesn’t apply to him being a Masked Fool and an Emanator and an Aeon (or a part of one, or a creation of one, or an avatar of one — honestly, at this point I feel like we can mix and match). At the very least, it would match up with the rule of three. Food for thought!

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ GREETING & PARTING ⌝

The greeting here seems pretty standard — going into it assuming he’ll get paid, then waffling and thinking about backing out when he realizes he won’t. What’s notable here, however, is that he covers it up by stumbling out a “Not a problem!” and continuing on with us. I feel like this partially shows how much he values friendship (despite clearly still wanting a payout) while also not quite having enough spine to straight up say “no” to us. The only thing I’m not sure about is if the Trailblazer is special in this regard, or if Sampo would keep going with anyone else.

The parting is a bit more notable, especially the idea of “I’m not going anywhere.” It seems half-comforting, half-threat, like he’ll always be a constant in our lives, for better or for worse. In a way, he may be like a never-ending joke we just can’t get rid of no matter how hard we try. (Don’t worry Sampo, I would never think of getting rid of you 😌.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SELF ⌝

This line, despite at first seeming like a joke, feels more personal the longer it goes on. The first “I’m an easygoing fella” seems like exactly the kind of thing a shady businessman would say when trying to drum up clients: “I’m personable,” “I look out for people,” “I’m a community man,” etc. However, by the time the line ends, it very much sounds like he’s referring to something specific. The idea of getting “pulled into everyone else’s business with nothing to show for it” sounds like a passive aggressive dig at something or someone we don’t have the specifics for. Especially with the “tsk” at the end and the repetition of “easygoing,” it almost seems like he’s trying to vent his frustration about being constantly pulled into things he doesn’t want to be a part of.

Now that we know he’s an “old timer” within the Masked Fools, this line of thinking makes sense — he’s left behind his mask, meaning he may have gotten tired and fed up with getting roped into the Fools’ shenanigans. With how exasperated he sounds in much of his Penacony dialogue, I’m not surprised he said something like this.

Going a step further, this could even apply to an Emanator being burnt out at having to deal with the Elation, or even Aha Themself feeling the constraints of a compulsory existence. I feel like Emanator or Silhouette theories would work better for this particular line, although it’s possible that Aha could achieve this level of genuine exasperation through split/dual/separate consciousness.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CHAT: INTEL ⌝

Once again, Sampo shows how smart he is. He may be shady, yes, but he does know how to “maximize profit.” After hearing of Boothill’s run in with an Elation Emanator in 2.2, I can’t help but wonder if it was Sampo playing into this idea of selling information to multiple people — I definitely don’t think Boothill learning of the Emanator’s status was a coincidence, even if he says it was because he got it drunk. To me, this definitely reads as Sampo parceling out information in the right doses to the right people, “packaging” it in such a way that that person is none the wiser.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ HOBBIES, ANNOYANCES, & SOMETHING TO SHARE ⌝

Despite only being one line, “hobbies” sticks out to me as a potential revelation. First, there’s no mention of the passion or creativity often associated with hobbies, it’s just him stating what he believes — there’s no indication he actually enjoys it deep down (compulsory existence mayhaps). Secondly, “small talk brings big clients” shows how he focuses on the details and minutiae of the larger picture; he may not be one for flashy entrances like Sparkle (hell, his big entrance in Belobog was when he was literally surrounded by smoke) but he does know how to manipulate the odds to be in his favor. I also find “big clients” interesting. While it could just be a reference to his dealings on Belobog, I can’t help but wonder just how far this might extend. What kind of “big clients” has he brought in? Is he neglecting to mention that he’s a “big client” himself? Is he used to shmoozing in the big leagues? Only time will tell.

In comparison, the annoyance line is fairly standard. It’s a link to his shady side, the idea that he’s just a poor businessman, *sniffle,* and how could someone be so mean to such a nice fella? He’s operating in technicalities here, full well knowing why he’s considered a con-man but intentionally being obtuse about it. It is very endearing to me.

“Something to share” almost seems Robin-Hood-esque. At first, I thought he was talking about more “business” stuff, the idea of “sharing is caring, so you should share your money with me,” but the more I re-read the more I realized he’s probably getting at the wealth inequality in Belobog. He’s technically affiliated with the Underworld, after all, and his closest friends seem to be there too. Behind the fixation on profit and only doing things if it benefits him materially, there seems to also be a genuine want to share himself, to “make up the shortfall.” Even if the “sharing” isn’t coming from his own possessions, he still wants to get the Underworld the supplies and means to live comfortably, which is a surprisingly sweet sentiment. He has a heart in there, I swear.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ KNOWLEDGE ⌝

I feel like this line speaks for itself — the man is omniscient and he is toying with us. He knows way more than he’s letting on, even referencing the Astral Express as a “train” for shits and giggles. Your Elation is showing, king.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SVAROG & CLARA ⌝

I don’t know what’s funnier: the implication that Sampo has tried to strike a deal with Svarog before, or the implication that he, Sampo “I can talk my way into and out of anything” Koski, failed. He was probably aware his conversationalism wouldn’t work on a machine like Svarog, but damn if he didn’t want to try anyways. I would pay good money to see that go down. Too bad Sampo exists in another universe and can’t haggle it out of me.

Alternatively, his line about Clara is pretty sweet. Referring to her as “our little girl” shows how he views himself as part of the Underworld — even if he came from beyond the sky, even if he integrated himself into Belobog for a larger purpose, he still cares. He sees himself as one of them. Behind the gaud and the glamor, we can begin to see that silhouette, that want for connection in the periphery, staying in the shadows because it’s afraid to step into the light. Yet, despite him even realizing it, he’s begun to integrate himself. Begun to see himself as more than just a means to an end, an instigator or a jokester or a clown. He has, in a sense, become part of the collective — a healthy collective, one big found family, and Clara is just one part of it. Beyond his knowing, he’s gone from “I” and “them” to “us.” To “we.” To “our.” (And he is also still eternally confused over how the hell to communicate with Svarog.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT NATASHA ⌝

I like how naturally he describes the progression of their relationship here. While it may not be entirely truthful or accurate (who knows with Sampo), it at least seems like he views his and Natasha’s friendship as an easy progression from one stage to the next. Despite it being transactional, it doesn’t really feel like a transaction, just an evolution of something whose seeds were already planted. It’s also notable that he started with medicine — not intel, not materialistic wealth like relics or Shield, but medicine. His first establishing relationship with Natasha was literally bringing her life-saving medicine. It really reminds me of how he saved the Trailblazer’s life in The Moles’ hide-and-seek daily mission; it’s the things he does in the shadows that really count, really show that he does, in fact, care. Despite what he tells you, he still wants to help. “You know how these things work” is also so funny because it’s like… no, no the Trailbalzer does not know how these things work. (Also, “arrived” in the Underworld? Interesting word choice, bestie.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SEELE ⌝

I just think it’s really funny to imagine Sampo, either an Emanator or an Aeon or both, being constantly told off by some resistance fighter on a random snow planet. Like, Seele is really out here doing what 99% of beings can’t. (With Doll Theory, however, this is a bit… heartbreaking, especially “Can someone explain what I did to deserve her?” potentially hiding the deeper, more agonizing question of “Can someone explain what I did to deserve this?”. But I am choosing not to think about that right now for my own sanity.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT BRONYA ⌝

He really has no self-preservation when it comes to scoring big, does he? Despite how carefully methodical his endgame plans seem to be, his omniscience doesn’t stop him from throwing himself out there when he feels there’s something to be gained. It’s okay, Sampo, she’s nice. You don’t need to risk getting beat up just to talk to her, I’m sure you can arrange a meeting. (Also, I feel like this mirrors his “painful introduction” to the Trailbalzer at the beginning of the Belobog storyline — sure, Sampo had to put up with Dan Heng’s prodding and Gepard’s arrival, but he made the biggest score of all: getting to meet us. So, maybe it’s not just “throwing himself out there.” Maybe it’s all one big calculation on his part.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT THE LANDAUS ⌝

Gepard potentially triggering Sampo’s Elation instincts is hilarious to me. I’ll expand on it in a dedicated Sampard post, but it’s so in line with the Elation for Sampo, most likely a god in his own right, to find such catharsis in, what? Being chased around in the snow by a hot blonde guard? In terms of the wider universe, Gepard is literally just some guy. And yet here Sampo is, doing a little heehee haha and having the time of his life. It’s the little things, you know?

(On a more serious note, if we’re dealing with a Sampo who’s constantly felt like he has no control over his “enjoyment” of Elation — even a Silhouette or Doll Theory Sampo who is actively being harmed by “the joke” — then him gradually warming up to Gepard is surprisingly wholesome. Here he is, someone who has always found himself subject to Elation rather than naturally falling into it, finding a way to reclaim that enjoyment and find a genuine place for it within himself. Some sort of reconciliation, perhaps, a bit of happiness that’s his own and no one else’s, some part of a situation that he can control. The elation he feels here is not Elation, but rather a genuine feeling of connection, one not brought on suddenly by the punchline of a joke, but one that has gradually grown over time, matured, blossomed into something warm and real and comforting. Gepard has no idea, but he’s slowly mellowing out the “compulsory” of compulsory existence until it becomes nothing but a fading whisper. Anyways can you tell I love Sampard?)

I’m also interested in how Serval and Sampo used to be “good pals.” While Sampo’s idea of a “good pal” could be wildly off-base from what Serval experienced — with the likelihood that Sampo’s “we were besties” was Serval’s “he was an annoying guy who kept asking me for deals” — it makes sense to me that they might’ve gotten along at some point. Serval is a fairly casual and accepting person, so I could see her and Sampo being friends (although I don’t think she would have fallen for many of his scams). However, I definitely don’t think she’d agree with Sampo’s shady business dealings, so finding out from Gepard just how much of a criminal he is would definitely sour things. She would believe in giving the Underworlders the resources they need, for sure, but definitely not Sampo pocketing money for himself or scamming random people who’ve done nothing wrong. “Gepard’s bad word” probably wasn’t even that malicious, just a statement of fact.

(I, however, like to think that Gepard opened up about his crush on Sampo to Serval and her protective older sister genes kicked in. What Sampo is really registering is the change from “oh, you’re a chill guy” to “if you hurt my baby brother so help me god I will end your entire existence.” It is canon in my heart.)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT LUKA ⌝

This one is another tie-in to Sampo’s fixation on business and profit. I do wonder why and how Sampo missed out on making money here, though. Perhaps the timing was off, or he had bigger things to deal with, or Luka just didn’t want to work with him for whatever reason. Either way, it’s kinda funny that he knows Luka as “that kid I could’ve made money off of but didn’t”. I can just see him hanging his head dejectedly in my mind. It’s okay, Sampo, you’ll get ‘em next time.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ABOUT SPARKLE ⌝

Sparkle is a unique case, being the only other playable Masked Fool and having a direct connection with Sampo through the organization. He seems to have a pretty good read on her, which would make sense if his status as an “old timer” includes having a lot of experience dealing with specific members of the Fools. He’s basically reading her like a book, saying: She’s all over the place, and you never have anything truly figured out. There’s also the meta commentary of “outwit herself,” referencing the events of Black Swan’s companion quest and an Inception-like folding in of all her personas. It also seems like it might be a bit of a projection: “Think you’ve got her all figured out, don’t you?” I didn’t say anything Sampo, but if this “you” is in the room with us right now, it’s okay, you can just say it. Perhaps he tried to understand her at some point in the past and it fucked him over. (Just speculation!)

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ ASCENSION & ACTIVATION ⌝

Whoo boy, this eidolon activation. It’s definitely suspicious, to say the least. There’s a reason I chose it as my quote for my Elation!Sampo masterlist, and that’s because it encapsulates so much about his potential identity. There’s the fact he’s not being direct about it, phrasing it as a question where he speaks in second person, trailing off at the end; even now, he seems unwilling or unable to face the truth with his full chest. There’s also the phrase “colorful past,” which just makes me ask: How much of a colorful past are we talking? This could range anywhere from Masked Fools shenanigans to “oh yeah, I used to be an Aeon.” The fact he’s so indirect about it makes me more suspicious — it’s an extremely leading question, very smug and taunting, which makes my mind just go up and up and up the power scale list, much like “old timer” caused me to do the same. There’s just a quality to this line that basically screams, “There is something large and powerful and dormant inside of him! Be careful!”.

The ascension once again links back to money, and his trace activation is about the transactional “business” of friendship. The last notable thing here is his “max level reached,” where he expresses disappointment over… hitting max level? “That’s it? *sigh* I was just getting started,” is not the kind of thing even a regular Masked Fool would say. Again, we’re given a hint of almost incomprehensible power, the idea that the limit of the game, of the universe, isn’t enough for him. In a strikingly eldritch way, our “max” is simply a small drop in his bucket, an ant he barely even notices. He really isn’t beating the Elation allegations, is he?

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ TEAMS ⌝

Since there’s five different ones here, I’ll go through them fairly quickly:

Natasha — Reminds me of Natasha’s own voiceline where she says Sampo doesn’t like owing people things. It shows that he really does try to pay favors back as soon as possible, keeping them present in his mind so they don’t go unresolved for too long.

Hook — It’s interesting how he reacts to her in a similar way he does the Masked Fools: exasperation, but still a little fond. There’s some care, some nostalgia mixed in there, but at the end of the day he still knows that something is getting blown to smithereens.

Seele — On his best behavior. He really doesn’t want her to get angry at him, does he? 

Trailblazer — Interesting how he laughs at the beginning here. Interesting how he says, “Ha!” Interesting how this is only with the Trailblazer. Hm. That is all.

Sparkle — “Same rule as always” establishes a long-form relationship; it’s likely they’ve known each other for a long time, or at least long enough to have established “rules” for each time they fight or work together. The fact that the rule is “no backstabbing” is also fitting, seeing as Sparkle (and by proxy, the Masked Fools) are definitely the type to backstab at any given moment. The real question is: Is this rule simply a surface-level attempt by Sampo to stop from getting messed with, or does Sparkle actually listen to him?

It also sets up Sampo as at least pretending to be on the same power level as Sparkle — he’s in a position where he feels the need to be wary and on-guard around her despite occupying a potentially higher status.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ COMBAT & MISC. ⌝

Reading through these, I just felt like I was getting smacked over the head with theories. It’s like he was repeatedly hitting me on the back of the head with a baseball bat or something. Having each line side by side really makes certain patterns become apparent. Since there’s so many, I’ll go through them fairly quickly (feel free to ask me to expand on any of these if you want!):

Battle Begins: Weakness Break: “Fun” links to Elation. “Just” is downplaying the severity of a Weakness Break, reducing pain/danger to yet another joke. A somewhat callous view of life, similar to the Worm Fiasco.

Battle Begins: Danger Alert: Endless pursuit of entertainment and Elation — “the stronger the better.” Like Aha, it’s less about winning or losing, but rather the challenge and thrill of the fight itself.

Turn Begins: Line 1 — The idea of “friends” again, showing physical protection and aid to be part of the “transaction”; however “takes care of” seems less transactional and more genuine. Line 2 — More transactional with the idea of “business”; perhaps refers to violence as “doing business” with enemies, or helping the trailblazer as “doing business.”

Turn Idling: “Bring out” and “big guns” links to hidden or increased power, something that needs to be revealed. Since this is his turn idle, it gives the implication that he is “waiting” to bring out this power until the right time (though he is impatient about it).

Skill: Argument One — Silly goofy behavior. Argument Two (Delusional) — “Size” alludes to the physical changing of size between mortal and Emanator/Aeonic form.

Hit by Light Attack: Seems somewhat performative.

Hit by Heavy Attack: Seems to be overly protective of his “face” — or rather, the potential physical facade he puts up to hide his true identity from others. Doll Sampo may be overly concerned with “breaking,” while other theories may be worried about something being “revealed” if too much of his physical form is chipped away. (In a way, the avatar of “Sampo Koski” may be a mask in and of itself, able to be broken.)

Ultimate: Activate: Again with the idea of “waiting,” man is impatient.

Ultimate: Unleash: If we’re going with an Elation!Sampo theory, it seems like he may almost be alluding to Aha as “king” here, which would center themes of betrayal and switching sides. It doesn’t seem personal in this case, but rather a power/money/profit-oriented standpoint.

Downed: *Puts on tinfoil hat* Sampo could actually be referencing a “loophole payment” here; as shown in the Curio Hacker Occurrence, one of the curios given to us by the blue-haired man is “Organic Heart,” a curio that removes the golden (powerful) dice face for four turns, destroys itself, then grants two cheat attempts — if we take this as an allegory for Sampo’s existence, then he may be paying a “price” as an Emanator or Aeon to escape an unfortunate fate later on (or accomplish something impossible). In this way, “This price was too steep…” may refer to Sampo being trapped in mortal form (a more vulnerable state) and realizing the “price” he paid upfront for those cheat attempts isn’t worth it if he never gets to see the fruits of his labor.

Return to Battle: This may also link to the Curio Hacker dice faces, as a combat “turn” could also stand-in for a dice “roll” — he has been brought back to fight, and so he will continue to participate in the cycle until his cheat attempts are granted. (Also, it links to the cyclical nature of the snakes, going from one turn to the next, never able to truly die.)

Health Recovery: Another mention of transactions, debt, and “owing” — according to Natasha’s voice line about him, this is not a phrase he says lightly.

Technique: Laughter, plan and simple. The Laugher, even, if we’re feeling frisky.

Battle Won: Probably one of the biggest clues in his voicelines. “How’re you gonna win if you don’t take any risks?” directly implies a “risk” at the core of his being, some dangerous change he is making to make sure he gets what he wants. May somewhat detract from Aha theories in that Aha doesn’t seem to care about “winning,” however who knows if that mindset has changed or if Sampo simply thinks that because he is currently in mortal form. Either way, it once again links to him paying a “cost” for those later cheat attempts.

Treasure Opening 1: Good old cash reference.

Treasure Opening 2: Kinda sweet that he lets us keep it, even though it’s only because he doesn’t have any use for it.

Precious Treasure Opening: … And of course he immediately shoves us aside when it’s something he’s actually interested in.

Successful Puzzle-Solving: 1: Pretty generic.

Successful Puzzle-Solving 2: Reference to his businessman persona and how he’s made a career out of “solving others’ problems.” It may be that he’s trying to solve a problem for either himself or Aha as an outside entity (or perhaps even a different Aeon of Emanator, who knows).

Enemy Target Found: Sounds almost taunting; there’s no vocal recording in this post, but if you listen to his English voice acting it sounds goading, almost like he’s daring you to start the fight. “I dunno” is a bit more reserved, like he’s hesitating a bit, but I’m definitely on the side of “he can handle this, he’s just fucking with us.”

Returning to Town: Another third person reference! Obligatory business reference.

And whew, that’s all of it! Every single Sampo character screen voice line as of 2.4! My main takeaways are definitely the third-person references, as well as the fixation on business and profit. The lines linking to Curio Hacker especially stand out to me — “risks” and “prices” remind me a lot of Organic Heart. But I’ll save that for its own analysis! As for now, I hope this was a comprehensive-enough coverage of Sampo’s voicelines. In my opinion, this man definitely has some Elation-related shenanigans going on.

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for reading to the end!

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© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

What's yout opinion on these two Owl House analysis posts (sending them in another ask)

Thank you for the links. Just for future reference though, that blog blocked me awhile back for reasons I can only guess at so I had to find another way to read the posts.

My biggest issue with these kinds of analyses is how it really has to ignore how toh executes its themes and rely on historical and political realities and awkwardly tie it to the show.

Belos may be a metaphor for colonization and oppression but good luck finding anything consistent in the show to actually demonstrate that. Belos may have been inspired by fundamentalists conservatives and he may speak like one, but on a societal level, the Boiling Isles is not a good representation of a world run by a religious zealot.

There are no wild witches that are routinely persecuted; Eda is able to walk around openly (save for one episode) with no fear of being arrested, Luz is able to multi-track despite Bump's initial misgivings about the EC potentially withdrawing funding from the school (something that never happens) no one actually treats the Titan like a divine entity despite Belos' reign being founded on that very premise, and the citizens are allowed to openly defy the emperor's potential execution of Eda--despite being the living embodiment of everything the people of the Boiling Isles are taught to fear.

There is one rule in the isles: no wild magic.

Outside of that, witches are free to live as they wish. Joining a coven is seen more like choosing a career path and not something one must do or risk ostracization. Eda doesn't suffer because she's a wild witch. Not really. The narrative focuses more on her curse and how she isolated herself because of that and had to turn to crime to make ends' meet.

Because of this, it's difficult to really discuss Belos as a metaphor for colonization when the islands don't suffer or at least the show doesn't demonstrate why joining a coven is bad outside it being a requirement. So really the theme is freedom of choice rather than "the oppressed must overthrow the oppressor."

It's Belos' status as a Puritan that's doing the heavy-lifting in any kind of post that makes the claim that toh is about colonization. Which is why so many of these posts fall back on meta-analysis and tossing in historical references rather than what actually happens in the show.

As for Luz being an immigrant to the Boiling Isles....I mean I guess? The problem is that Luz never learns to appreciate the BI on its own terms because everything is handed to her; the issue of humans not being able to eat the BI's food is dropped early and the only threats she faces are scammers. A better depiction of a girl-going-to-a-fantasy world-as-an-immigrant metaphor is Amphibia, in which Anne learns the culture and customs of Wartwood and even earns the title of Frog of the Year because of her progress and growth. We never get anything like that with Luz because Bonesborough doesn't have a distinct identity like Wartwood does. We don't get to know recurring side characters outside of Luz's clique at Hexside. Luz doesn't even work as an immigrant in Gravesfield because her problem isn't framed due to her heritage, the focus is on her overenthusiasm for Azura. Camila doesn't struggle fitting in because she's Dominican (and no, letting her hair get curly again is weak because it's literally the only example of her possibly changing herself to fit in). Her struggle is tied to her daughter and the grief they share over Manny's passing. So there's no evidence of the Nocedas having to "submit" to the dominant culture of Gravesfield because we don't know what Gravesfield's culture is. There's no oppression and Vee gets along fine despite coming from another dimension.

Finally, as for Luz's angst over being like Belos--that her anger makes her like him. Yeah no, this is weak. First of all, this is the first time that she expresses concern over being like him due to her anger. In the previous two episodes, the concern was that she "helped" Belos find the Collector and is therefore responsible for his rise and the subsequent centuries of suffering. Then, she's worried about always making mistakes and how that leads to more people being hurt. Next, in her nightmare sequence, she fears her friends secretly hate her because she helped Belos and is the cause of all this suffering so she might as well be him.

But now, her fear is being like him because she wanted the Collector to blast him and that Belos' desire to save humanity is uncomfortably close to her own.

Sorry what?

Luz previously rejected Belos's stated goal of saving humanity in King's Tide when she called him out on his hypocrisy. At every encounter, Luz calls Belos out on his bullshit, why is it now does she seriously consider that his goals are similar to her own?

Oh, so the Titan can alleviate her fears, validate her by calling her a "good witch," and throw out all the recent development of Belos' character and motivations because don't worry, he's not genuine. He's just a Symbol so we can ignore the hints of his backstory making him a more complicated character. (And believe me, Belos' story is just vague enough that you could interpret him in any number of ways).

To conclude, I've noticed a trend in fan posts that develop a conclusion and work backwards from there, taking what they want from the show that fits to support their idea and ignore everything else. It's terrible analysis even if some good points are made.

[ficoandleo]

What, being willing to ask up front makes me bad at finding things out? 💔 Are u saying it's basic enough that I could figure it out myself? U want me to guess?

Ur relationship with ur fam is pretty bad. Like as bad as Kamurai's with his daddy(might be a Frostheim thing? Maybe ur ambition when u touched that mannequin was abt ur fam?) But ur kinda stuck with them even tho they don't like u right? Expectations or whatever. Could be abt getting away from them--it got u here right? And now ur stuck with the Institute unless u get the crown or whatever--or it's back to ur lil shrine with u💔

But I don't think it's that. Ppl who flirt like u do r all always abt escapism and stuff u don't have to think hard abt. And when you're a shame to your family you just want someone to say once that you did a good job and they appreciate you. Ur a lazyass who does all the work in his House. U left Frostheim around when someone else who could do more than u to help showed up

Ur totes a tryhard lol

But it isn't about that right? It's not about doing a good job. It's about not being Haku Kusanagi. It's about being literally anyone else, or no one at all, for a second. It's about proving people wrong without anyone saying 'wow, that's more than I expected from you.' Or maybe it's about not having that expectation at all. You don't wanna be thanked for what you do. You don't wanna be thanked or relied on so people don't start thinking different about you and don't resent you when you're a disappointment again. But you can always put on another mask and be someone else or no one else, right? No expectations, you could be the best or the worst and nothing will have to change.

Maybe you just don't wanna be you. That way you can come and go as you please, no matter how anyone feels about you or what they want from you. I bet it was something like that. "I wish I didn't have to be me all the time. I wish I could be someone else." Is that anything?

Fuck Marry Kill the (canon) vagastrom ghouls?

Kurosagi, Mido, Haizono. In the order presented.

[raayllum]

Hey, this might be a silly question but… How do you go about writing a full length meta? Like, what’s your process?

I’ve tried to write metas before but they take a lot of time and energy for me to write for some reason. I know what points I usually want to make too, but it can sometimes be difficult to go back and look through the whole series just to find examples that fit my argument if I don’t already have some in mind.

Aah, I don't know if I'll be much help in this because I think I construct metas in the opposite way (I have examples in mind and then the meta is "how these knit together and why") but I'll do my best! And if it makes you feel any better, my metas also take a lot of time and energy—sometimes longer ones can take like 3 weeks of steadily chipping away if not more, or if it is faster, it's because it was a very precise mad rush that leaves me exhausted afterwards in terms of mental energy (worth it, though). I also find I naturally do a lot of tracing, where if I think a thing about a character, I'll ask myself why and usually need at least 3 examples or reasons in-text for me to go "Oh okay that makes sense" and then I go looking for more just to like, make sure I'm still on the right track.

However, if you need help narrowing things down... if you're writing a meta about how the character reacts when in conflict, say an argument or impatience, going back to those specific scenes. For example, Claudia rarely expresses a lot of anger, so when she does (2x03 & 2x08 because of Soren, 5x09 at the trio, occasional impatience with Terry, etc) I can go back and rewatch those scenes to find what I'm looking for, if say I'm writing a meta on "why does Claudia get angry and how" because that can reveal interesting things about her psyche.

You also don't need to have a ton of examples. I think 1-2 would suffice for most people! But it is good to be able to generally refer back to stuff. I find it helpful since a lot of meta writing is, tbh, just identifying and then connecting patterns. A theme or character trait is only a theme or character trait if it's there repeatedly, and being able to give examples as to when it's there is part of the analysis burden of proof.

Some of this is also made easier by having practice in getting familiar with your text of choice. Like, S7's phoenix motif probably wouldn't have jumped out at me if I hadn't gone into season 7 associating dark magic with death for Callum. Then you had Ezran being king of ashes, Rayla being reborn, Aaravos literally being tied to a life-and-death rebirth cycle, and it just kinda fell into place?

A lot of my meta comes from little disparate pieces I've been thinking about independently for a Hot Second and then one day something or some new piece of canon makes it click and I go "oh, that's how it ties together." Like I already really liked S4's focus on restorative justice (Sunfire plotline) / forgiveness (Rayllum) for what it was and I thought it'd end up being relevant — particularly the tribunal plotline as a necessary "next step" in "how do we break the cycle?" holdover from arc 1 — but it was only when S6 had Leola's trial and forgiveness/rehabilitative justice was like the Theme of Season 7 that I was like "oh, that's why S4 did that, respectively" to set that stuff up well in advance.

So I guess:

Build up your pile of rocks about things you think are interesting about your chosen analysis subject. Let them sit, see what could fit together. Tracing your stuff and figuring out Why you think what you think by extension can make it easier to explain why you think what you think. 1-2 examples will usually suffice. Have fun!

[sharpth1ng]

"chatgpt writing is bad because you can tell when it's chatgpt writing because chatgpt writing is bad". in reality the competent kids are using chatgpt well and the incompetent kids are using chatgpt poorly... like with any other tool.

It's not just like other tools. Calculators and computers and other kinds of automation don't require you to steal the hard work of other people who deserve recognition and compensation. I dont know why I have to keep reminding people of this.

It also uses an exorbitant amount of energy and water during an environmental crisis and it's been linked to declining cognitive skills. The competent kids are becoming less competent by using it and they're fucked when we require in-class essays.

Specifically, it can enhance your writing output and confidence but it decreases creativity, originality, critical thinking, reading comprehension, and makes you prone to data bias. Remember, AI privileges the most common answers, which are often out of date and wrong when it comes to scientific and sociological data. This results in reproduction of racism and sexist ideas, because guess whats common on the internet? Racism and sexism!

Heres a source (its a meta-analysis, so it aggregates data from a collection of studies. This means it has better statistical power than any single study, which could have been biased in a number of ways. Meta analysis= more data points, more data points= higher accuracy).

This study also considers positives of AI by the way, as noted it can increase writing efficiency but the downsides and ethical issues don't make that worthwhile in my opinion. We can and should enhance writing and confidence in other ways.

Heres another source:

The issue here is that if you rely on AI consistently, certain skills start to atrophy. So what happens when you can't use it?

Im not completely against all AI, there is legitimate possibility for ethical usage when its trained on paid for data sets and used for specific purpose. Ive seen good evidence for use in medical fields, and for enhancing language learning in certain ways. If we can find a way to reduce the energy and water consumption then cool.

But when you write essays with chatgpt you're just robbing yourself an opportunity to exercise valuable cognitive muscles and you're also robbing millions of people of the fruit of their own intellectual and creative property. Also like, on a purely aesthetic level it has such boring prose, it makes you sound exactly like everyone else and I actually appreciate a distinctive voice in a piece of writing.

It also often fails to cite ideas that belong to other people, which can get you an academic violation for plagiarism even if your writing isn't identified as AI. And by the way, AI detection software is only going to keep getting better in tandem with AI.

All that said it really doesn't matter to me how good it gets at faking human or how good people get at using it, I'm never going to support it because again, it requires mass scale intellectual theft and (at least currently) it involves an unnecessary energy expenditure. Like it's really not that complicated.

At the end of the day I would much rather know that I did my work. I feel pride in my writing because I know I chose every word, and because integrity matters to me.

This is the last post I'm making about this. If you send me another ask I'll block you and delete it. This space is meant to be fun for me and I don't want to engage in more bullshit discourse here.