#at least i dont talk to him in my head every minute of every day anymore.

[g8d]

i dreamt of my ex like a week ago and hes been on my mind ever since. i picked up so many mannerisms from him. it feels like part of him will always live in my body. i make faces he used to make. i have a look in my eyes like how he used to look at me.

[hoekyeom]

bruises | k.mg

street fighter bf!mingyu x afab!reader

established relationship, porn with some plot, minghao cameo cuz i love him, mentions of injury and blood, fighting, make up sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, one joke of mingyu being a masochist, one mention of death, creampie, oral (m receiving), skull fucking, daddy kink, breeding kink, dirty talk, recording, cum swallowing, cum eating, praise, muscle and size kink if you squint but that’s guaranteed in a mingyu fic 😭😭

summary: you and mingyu get into a fight over his bad habits, angst and smut ensues

wc: 2.7k

you’ve always hated the fights mingyu got himself into. he’d come home almost every week, with cuts and bruises littered all over his body. this time wasn’t any different, it was past midnight by this point, and you were curled up on the couch watching a random movie in an attempt to distract yourself from your growing worries. mingyu is usually home by this point.

a few more minutes go by and mingyu stumbles through the door with more injuries than usual. he sets his key down as you frantically walk towards him, noticing the way be avoids your eyes, “gyu.. your face, your bleeding everywhere.” he gives you a cold stare, his face battered and bloodied, and he brushes past you, going towards the bathroom where your med-kit usually was.

“yeah that’s the whole point y/n, it’s called street fighting for a reason.” you knew he wasn’t actually mad at you, just pent up anger from years of fighting, and especially tonight. scanning his whole body, the bright bathroom lighting allowing for you to see all his cuts and wounds more closely.

he slipped off his shirt, a huge bruise starting to form on the left side of his torso. “..you sure you didn’t break something?” your hand coming up to lightly stroke his ribs, mingyu’s anger blinding him from leaning into your warm touch.

“no, and why do you care so much anyway? it’s not like this is the first time.”

you tipped your head to the side, a ‘what’s that smell’ expression laid on your face, “what kind of question is that? i care because you’re my boyfriend, of course i’m gonna be worried.” your voice was nothing short of angry, your eyebrows almost meeting in the middle due to your frustration.

“you shouldn’t be.”

“uhh? yes i should, i’m tired of seeing you walk in here everyday with new cuts to clean. and your ribs.. mingyu you need to go see a doctor.”

“look y/n, i’ve been doing this for years—“

“well i think you should stop.”

it was deathly quiet, and mingyu’s hand holding a cotton pad paused in the air as he stared at you through the mirror. only the whirring sound of your ac being heard to combat the july heat. mingyu looked at you for a bit, chuckling to himself as his tongue poked through the side of his cheek, grabbing the gauze out of the med-kit and wrapping it around his knuckles.

“what’s so fucking funny?”

“oh nothing just that fact that you think you can tell me what to do.”

“yeah i’ll you what to do if it means not having you die in some alleyway.”

“please y/n, it never goes that far.”

“look at yourself! you basically limped in here, and i tried to help you but now you act like i’m a bitch for being worried about you?” you yelled.

mingyu finished up the gauze as he dropped everything and grabbed his shirt, walking towards the door. he left with a slam, not even caring to bid you goodbye, or kiss you and say ‘i love you’ like he always does.

the post-anger tears started streaming down your face. you knew he was probably gonna go crash at minghao’s, yet even with how frustrated you were, you still couldn’t help but worry and think about mingyu going to sleep untreated.

-

9:02 PM

(5) missed calls

gyu?

mingyu im sorry

are you okay? did minghao get you painkillers?

please dont fight again, at least take some time to let ur body rest :((

a full day had gone by. guilt stirred in mingyu’s stomach as he stared at his phone screen. he was the one who should be apologizing, not you.

he sighed, shutting off his phone and getting up. he knew he had to face you at some point.

“you leaving?”

mingyu hummed, shuffling into his shoes and heading out the door as minghao yelled out a goodbye. mingyu hopped in his car, letting the silence engulf him.

when mingyu walked into the apartment he noticed how dim it was, assuming you were asleep. he took his shoes off as quietly as possible, making his way to your guys’ shared bedroom. he heard a muffled voice, noting that the door was only half closed, peeking into the crack.

he saw you, adorned in one of his hoodies that was much too big for you, sleeves bunched up at your wrists and the hem coming down to your mid-thigh, naked legs on full display.

you paced around the room and it looked like you were on the phone with someone, the voice being hard to identify.

“did he say anything to you when he left?”

“nah, he just walked out.”

oh. it was minghao.

“shit, um, he didn’t even mention where he was going?”

mingyu heard the panic in your voice and the way your forefinger and thumb came to rub at your temples. he walked in as your eyes shot up to look at him, not hesitating to hang up on minghao, throwing your phone on the bed and running to jump into mingyu’s arms.

“oh my god mingyu!” you looked up at him and immediately started hitting him, “stupid! stupid! stupid! i hate you!” each hit enunciating your words, feeling like nothing but weak taps to mingyu. tears spilled out of your eyes, as mingyu only hugged you closer, hand coming up to pet your hair as the other cradled your head into his chest. he heard your muffled sniffing, his heart breaking at the stress he caused you.

“shhh i know, i know i’m stupid. i’m sorry baby.”

“you’re so mean! why didn’t you at least text me back? do you know how scared i was?” your voice broke, looking up at him with swollen eyes.

“i ..” mingyu paused, his hands coming down to hold your face, “i know i fucked up, i was too embarrassed to face you, afraid that you’d end things with me, which i would’ve probably deserved. i’m so, so sorry angel, i know no amount of apologizing will take away your worries, and i know i should’ve stayed and talked things out with you”

his thumb came to wipe away your falling tear, your hands hooking around his neck and pulling him down to kiss you. he instantly reciprocated, hands traveling down to wrap around your waist, pulling you close so that your bodies were flush against each other.

“i forgive you, i’m sorry for raising my voice at you.” you mumbled into his mouth, mingyu backing away to confusedly look at you.

“why are you apologizing? don’t say sorry baby, you should’ve slapped me as soon as i walked through that door.”

you giggled, looking down as you felt something press into your stomach, “you’re hard? really? got hard at the thought of me slapping you?” you teased.

“loooook..” mingyu looked away bashfully, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

“ew, you’re such a weirdo.” you said, slipping off mingyu’s hoodie to reveal a white tank top, your hard nipples poking through the thin fabric. you dropped down to your knees, fingers going straight to work untying your boyfriend’s sweatpants and pulling them down, along with his boxers, to his knees.

“oh, shit, hold on— you don’t have to do that baby.” mingyu hooked his hands underneath your armpits, attempting to pull you up being cut off by you stroking him.

“please, i want to.”

mingyu hesitated but was soon slapping his tip against your cheek, cooing at the way your head followed to try and get it in your mouth. finally he put it where you wanted, circling your tongue around the sensitive head. mingyu’s head lulled back, letting out a groan.

you took all of him into your mouth at once, his tip consistently hitting your uvula as you bobbed your head, twisting your hand on the base of his cock.

“fuck juuust like that baby, shit, h-have you been practicing on other guys or something?”

you laughed, only causing you to choke on his length, hitting his thigh as punishment for making you laugh while doing something that literally constricts your airflow.

“okay, okay, no more jokes, got it.” mingyu snickered, his gauzed hand grabbing your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

you came off of him with a pop, wiping off the drool dripping down your chin with the back of your hand, “gyu, u-use my mouth.”

mingyu smiled smugly, wordlessly grabbing ahold of your head with his other hand before shallowly thrusting into your wet mouth.

it wasn’t long before his length was ramming into your throat, breathless fuck’s and just like that’s leaving his cut lips. he was scared to even look down, afraid that if he saw your fucked out face he’d cum too quick.

you’re eyes looked up at him, tendrils of hair slipping past mingyu’s hold due to the sheer speed at which his hips slammed into your mouth.

“christ y/n, you look s’pretty like this, gon’ let daddy take a picture?”

you moaned at the label he placed on himself, nodding around his cock, eyes never leaving his sweat and scab covered face. mingyu pulled out his phone, angling the camera at your face. a red box with white numbers ascending appearing at the top of his screen.

“it’s a video baby, you don’t mind do you?” mingyu laughed when you attempted to hum a nuh-uh, only a string of muffled gags being heard. you were so wet, clit aching to be touched. you inched your hand down to touch yourself, drawing quick, fast circles.

“of course you don’t, so perfect, take my dick so well”

mingyu realized what it was you were doing to your lower half, “y’touching yourself? don’t worry daddy will fill y’up nice and good after this, j-jus’ let me cum in your mouth pretty.”

with a few final thrusts, and the erratic spasming of mingyu’s hips, you felt his hot cum travel down your throat, hollowing your cheeks as you slurped every last drop.

your knees ached as mingyu pulled you up, ending the video and hastily putting it in his hidden folder. he pulled you into a kiss, “did so good f’me baby, you always know how to spoil me.” he spoke into your mouth, tasting his own release.

“w-wanna ride you,” you huffed out, breathless. mingyu grinned, the right side of his face being the only indication of it, while the left was so mangled you couldn’t tell what expression he was even making. whoever he fought got him good.

“you sure? don’t tire yourself doll.”

“i’m sure!” you said grabbing mingyu’s hand, dragging him to the bed.

“whatever you say cutie,” mingyu let out a strangled breath while lowering himself down onto the bed, his torso still extremely sore, and his head perched up against the headboard. you quickly pulled down your shorts and panties as you swung your leg over his thighs, leaning down to kiss him.

you hand raked over his chest and chiseled abs, fingers dipping into each and every crevice as mingyu’s tongue explored your mouth. you pulled back and grabbed a hold of his flushed cock, rubbing it along your folds as your slick dripped down his length, a whimper leaving your lips.

“shit.” he hissed, staring intently as you paused your ministrations to line yourself up, slowly sinking down. you stared down at where you were taking him in, brushing the hair out of your face to get a better look. mingyu’s mouth fell agape, “you’re so fucking tight,” watching as a bulge slowly formed just below your belly button. even after the countless times you and mingyu had had sex, he was always just so big, your tiny pussy barely taking him in each time.

you finally looked up, mingyu’s eyes meeting your own. “jus’ gimme a sec gyu, you’re s-so big,” you said breathlessly.

mingyu smirked cockily, “take your time gorgeous.” his hands soothingly rubbing you’re plush thighs.

you bounced slowly, feeling each vein of his cock drag against your walls, tiny gasps leaving your lips. mingyu let you control the pace for a bit, allowing for you to adjust to his size. but he was getting impatient, his hands coming down to grip the sides of your hips, his four digits digging themselves into your ass before lifting you up and slamming you back down, the movement knocking the wind of you, making your jaw go slack.

“fuck!” your head hung low, hands coming up to grip his broad, muscly shoulders for support, watching out for any bruises.

“that’s it baby, just hold onto daddy and let him make y’feel good.”

mingyu’s pace was animalistic, his hold on you hard enough to leave an imprint. you were shocked as to how he had this much energy considering what his body had endured a night ago.

tears welled up in your eyes, feeling his tip kiss your cervix with each thrust. the curve of his cock aligning just right with your g-spot. “oh my fff-fucking god! mingyu please, ha-harder!”

you didn’t even know if it was possible to go harder, but mingyu managed to slam you down with even more force then before. a bead of sweat ran down his tan neck, his bangs sticking to his forehead as he stared up at you with hooded eye. his hips thrust upwards to meet you halfway, causing you to let out mangled gasps and moans. you were sure he was puncturing your lungs by this point. no inch of your pussy was left unexplored, squishy pink walls molded perfectly to hug his cock.

“jus’ like that gorgeous, your pussy was made f’me.”

“s-soo deep daddy, feel you in my tummy..” you whined out as you saw mingyu grin, canines on display, his hand coming up to grab yours, placing your hand on the bulge on your stomach, almost cumming right there when you felt the bump.

“fuck, you jus’ got so tight, y-you like when daddy pokes your tummy like that?”

you nodded frantically, tears flowing down your hot, pink cheeks, “i-i’m gon—na cum, g-gonna cum!” you struggled to get the words out, mingyu understanding you nonetheless.

“cum with me baby, gon’ let daddy cum in you?”

“fuck, yes d-daddy, want you to fill me up so bad, p-put a .. a baby in me,” mingyu loved how dirty your mouth got every time you were close to coming. his right hand pressed onto the small of your back, causing you to arch into him. his mouth was at perfect level with your nipples, taking your tit into his mouth and circling the hard nub with his tongue.

the pleasure was all too much, and with a few more hard thrusts your hole was spasming around his thick base, clenching and unclenching, mingyu’s mouth detaching from your breast as he looked up at you, his eyes shutting tightly as hot cum shot into your pussy.

“shiiiit, you’re milking me baby.” mingyu said, still grinding your hips onto him as he rode out both of your orgasms.

you reluctantly lifted yourself off of him, feeling some of mingyu’s cum drip down your thigh, scooping it with your index and middle finger and licking it off as you cuddled into his side, his arm laid across your shoulder.

mingyu watched as you cleaned him off your fingers, smoothing your disheveled hair. “such a good girl, not letting any of daddy’s cum go to waste.” he said as he booped your nose.

you giggled, “you okay though, gyu? d-does it hurt anywhere?” you asked, still breathless from your fresh orgasm.

“don’t worry about me doll, are you feeling okay? did i go too hard?”

“mm-hm, just a lil’ sore,” you snuggled closer.

“a shower should help ease y’up,” mingyu swung his feet over the bed, getting up as he reached his hand out, “think you can walk?”

“nooo i need my big, strong boyfriend to help carry me,” you joked, climbing into mingyu’s arms as he threw you over his shoulder, landing a playful slap on your ass.

“asshole! i’m not helping you replace your bandages.” mingyu could hear the pout in your voice, laughing as he made his way to the bathroom.

@hoekyeom | thank you for reading!

[sunarinscat]

(s/o with sensory overload)

“Waves”.

He was the first to notice.

You have always struggled with sensory overload. It’s noise, lights, texture, temperature, movement in your line of sight… It just builds up and you can’t help but break down. It’s embarrassing honestly. You aren’t even sad but you’re sobbing and heaving for air. What? Because some silly flashing lights were too bright for you? You hide away in a corner or a bathroom and wait for the waves of panic to wash away. Then you clean yourself up and face the world again. Nobody was ever any the wiser.

He noticed. He saw when your breath began to quicken. You stopped making eye contact with people and glued your gaze to the floor. He tipped his head to the side as your trembling hands grasped the nearest surface. You slipped outside into the cold night air and he followed.

As you slumped against the wall and let the tears wrack your body you heard the door creak. Shoes scuffled against the pavement and you hid your face in your arms, away from prying eyes.

“Hey baby, are you doing alright?”

He slumped down beside you, leaving a gap between your bodies.

You tried to keep your voice even as you spoke but it cracked and trembled.

“Yea-h I’m ju-ust P-peachy!”

You hiccuped.

“Do you need hug?”

“N-no!”

His hands which were reaching to comfort you returned to his sides.

“No, it’s just a lot righ-ght now I can’t h-handle anyone touching me.”

Oh. He was starting to understand.

“What can I do sweet heart?”

You swallowed hard and took a breath, removing your hands from your tear stained face. You offered him a small smile as a tear slid down your chin.

“We could just talk quietly.. it helps distract me sometimes.”

He grinned back.

“Okay, okay. Eyes on me.”

He pointed to his eyes.

“I want you focused right here.”

You turned your body to face him and he did the same, sitting cross legged.

“How’s your day been? Tell me your favorite and your least favorite thing that happened today.”

And you sat like that for fifteen minutes. The tears receded and the sobs turned into soft laughter. When you pulled yourself up from the concrete you grasped his hand. You turned your eyes to the floor again, this time bashfully.

“Hey can I have that hug now?”

It was barely a whisper.

He turned around and wrapped his arms around you. He just held you. Your body relaxed and you let out a sigh. If you ever had a home it was this.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me honey. I love you. I will always be here, whatever you need.”

Sugawara Koushi, Tetsurou Kuroo, Hajime Iwaxumi ,Keiji Akashi, Osamu Miya, Daichi sawamura, Eijiro kirishima, Shoto todoroki, Albedo, Diluc, Al Haithem, Kazuha

author’s note: as someone who struggles with these issues I hope this made you feel seen. I haven’t been on this blog in awhile but I am back to give it a little TLC, !Friendly reminder that my asks are open! Dont be shy to send something my way, I want to hear every detail..

[allmyn1ghts]

Can I pls have Dominik Mysterio x Fem reader where they confess their feelings for each other in the rain with the prompts "I didn't know people like you existed" + "I wasn't expecting you to change my life... but you did"? Make it fluffy!

confessions in the rain ༘⋆✿

Dominik Mysterio x fem!reader

synopsis: you and dom finally confess those hidden feelings :)

warnings: none! just fluff and some cursing

wc: 871

a/n: thank you for this super cute request, I hope I did it justice! enjoy, love! <3

Dominik was your best friend and the man you've been swooning over the past year. 

A year ago you couldn't stand the thought of him or the rest of The Judgement Day. You felt that their presence every Monday night was just… annoying to say the least. But, After many many many attempts at getting you to join, you finally gave in. Rhea was the one who convinced you. 

“C'mon y/n think about all the opportunities we could get you! You could be the next Women’s Champion. I've seen how hard you've been working for that opportunity. Let JD help you.” 

"Fine, but if you guys screw me over, it's not gonna be pretty"

"Now why would we do that y/n?" she says with her signature smirk

So here you are now, the women's Champion, with the four people you now consider family. Shortly after joining, you realized that they weren't that terrible after all. And that's also when you stopped seeing Dom as a nuisance and saw him as the sweet and caring person he truly is. Out of everyone, you and Dom were the closest. The two you just clicked, always together, whether it be ringside supporting each other or just chilling, y'all were inseparable. Your little crush on Dom didn't go unnoticed either. The group often teased you when Dom wasn't around.  

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Shut up Preist, I wasn't even looking at him”

“Sure”

or

“Finn, have you seen Dom? I gotta talk to him before his match”

“Nope, I haven't seen your little boyfriend, I'm surprised you don't know where he is.”

“Ha ha very funny, thanks for your help.”

“Anytime love!”

-

Each day your feelings for him grew and you only hoped he felt the same. Telling him the truth was always on your mind. Could it possibly ruin the friendship you have with him? Maybe. but, you never know unless you try… right? Yeah, that wasn't an option at the moment. 

After an eventful Raw, it was time for everyone to get back to the hotel. Everyone seemed to have left already except for you and Dom. It was weird, the five of you guys usually always left together. “You whipped some major ass out there!’ you complimented Dom as the two of yall packed up. “You think so? Felt like I didn't give my best tonight.” he shrugs. “Dom you always give a good show, dont doubt it.” He smiles at your comment. “Now cmon, I think the cab is here” You wrap an arm around his neck and head towards the exit. What you didn't know is that one, it was raining, and two, once you exit, you can't get back in. 

“Oh shit! I didn't know it was gonna be pouring out here,” you said running toward the door. You attempted to open the door. “What the…” you tried again. “Dom I think we're stuck out here…” You begin to anxiously laugh at the situation. “You know this is your fault right” You look at Dom like he has two heads. “My fault?! How was I supposed to know it was gonna be pouring out and-” “Relax y/n, I'm just fucking with you” he laughs at your mini outburst. 

“You're an asshole, you know that right?” the uncomfortable feeling of being wet starting to sink in.

“An asshole you looove”

“Yeah right, in your dreams” 

The two of you laugh and settle into a comfortable silence.

Dom notices you start to shiver. “Here take my jacket” He handed it to you and you put it on quickly. “Thanks” you smile to yourself. Little acts like this is what made you fall in love with him, if only you could tell him that. Minutes pass by still waiting for transportation, and the two of you switch between looking at your phones or watching the rain fall peacefully. Dom decides to break that comfortable silence. 

“Y/n can I tell you something?”

“Of course, what's up”

He turns to look down at you. “I don't know why I have this sudden urge to tell you this but fuck it,” you look at him confused. “Y/N I like you, a lot." Oh? Oh. "Even before you joined JD, when you hated my guts. You're- you're just so perfect, and funny, and beautiful and I can't explain what you do to me, but I love it. I didn't know people like you existed. You mean a lot to me and I don't even know if you feel the same b-” You cut him off, putting your hand on his wet cheek, and smile. “Dom, I've had the biggest crush on you for months now. I'm surprised you didn't notice! He stares at you baffled. "You're lying" "I swear!" Laughs come from both of you, he leans in, kissing you softly. He's the one to break the kiss. “I wasn't expecting you to change my life... but you did" You give him the biggest smile, and as you begin to respond to him, you are interrupted by the sound of a car horn. It's Rhea, Finn, and Damien all smiling at the two of you from the car.

“About damn time!” Damien says. 

i hope you all enjoyed! pls comment and reblog! <3

request - masterlist - about me - who I write for

[roomsofangel]

LOVER, PLEASE STAY

chapter four

synopsis you and wooyoung have been best friends for as long as you could remember, always overcoming everything in your friendship even after a few bumps in the road and confessions in the past. you could always trust that no matter wooyoung will always be there, right?

wc 4.3k

chapter warnings mentions of drug usage, wooyoung and yn have an argument / wooyoung breaks down

a/n the fact i update this either everyday or every other day… but hope you guys dont mind </3 the next update will be a little slower due to work and trying to bag these ateez tickets with my partner 🙁

if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ♥️

“something’s wrong with wooyoung," san mentioned one morning while handing you a dish from beside you that you started washing. you shifted your gaze away from the sink and water and towards him as he leaned against the counter. his side pressed on it a bit more as he continued, "i don't know... but, you notice it, too. don’t you?" his breath came out in an exasperated exhale as he waited for your response.

you gazed down, wanting nothing more than to just focus on how the warm water poured on your hands. the moment was quiet for a few minutes, and your mind raced with all kinds of thoughts. the uncertainty, the silence, and the tension between you and wooyoung recently that was becoming more apparent with every passing day. the strain was starting to wear on you, and that was obvious to everyone around you. “it’s hard not to.” you finally answered after a few minutes of silence, and your voice was solemn and tired.

san frowned at your response, and his expression became more concerned. you could sense the distress in his voice. "do you think we should intervene? what if he ends up like—?“ he started to say, but you interrupted him.

"don't." you said, and your tone was firm. you knew what he was going to say, and you didn't want to hear or think about it. your mind was already spiraling enough, and you didn't need him adding more to it.

san remained silent, looking at you with a mixture of concern and confusion. "but what if..." he began to say but stopped himself, realizing that you already knew. you had already considered that possibility, and it was not something you wanted to think about any further.

“just drop it, okay?" you said, your voice more firm than before as you tried to stop the spiral of thought that was quickly starting to take hold.

san sighed, and the silence that followed weighed heavier than before. "i talked to seonghwa too, you know," he mention. the statement felt somewhat out of place and sudden, and it only added to the tension that surrounded you both. you could sense the strain and stress building up in his words, and you wondered what else he knew or had heard.

"he's worried," san continued, "and so are the rest... they know something's up too. all of them do. but if they ask me, i don't know if i should tell them or not. i mean, it's wooyoung’s own business. i can't just let the secret slip, but.." his voice trailed off, and he let out a long, tired exhale.

"...that’s exactly the problem," san continued, "it’s his own business, but we're all worried about him. i mean, he hasn't been himself for a while now. he’s more reserved, more distant, and there is this strange tension between him and the rest of us. like he's hiding something, or he's just... not there. not fully there."

when you finally became aware of your grip on the dish, the dishes in front of you had already become clean. you were so lost in your thoughts, your head overflowing with memories and worries, that you had failed to notice the mundane task you were supposed to be doing. "i know.." you whispered, because you did. and it pained you that you couldn’t do anything but watch wooyoung destroy himself, or at least that's what it felt like.

"and... and it hurts," you continued softly, as if the admission was too painful for you to keep silent any longer. "it hurts to see him like this, to see him become something... someone that he's not. to see him shut himself off from all of us, to close himself in his own world and not let anyone else in. it’s painful and exhausting."

"he’s like a shell of himself," you went on. "i mean, he's still wooyoung, but... he's not at the same time. and i know i shouldn't say this... but it feels like we've lost him. like the wooyoung we all knew is gone, and there's just... this shell of a person left."

san nodded as he listened to you. he saw the pain and worry in your eyes, and he knew that you needed reassurance. so he held his arms out for you, inviting a hug. "it’s gonna be okay," he tried to reassure the both of you, but he didn't seem so sure himself. it was clear from his tone that he was just as worried, just as unsure. but he needed to remain strong, he needed to believe that things would work out. after all, it had to.

you laid in your bed, staring up at your ceiling and reminiscing over memories. they were just that, memories. it felt like ages ago, it felt like a whole different world. you were weeping over someone who was still alive, and it made no sense. how did you mourn for someone who was still standing in front of you, with a heart still beating? with a breath still being taken at regular intervals? with thoughts that were still running through their head, and feelings that were still taking place in their veins?

you tried to ignore the tears that were threatening to pour at any moment. everything in your room was a reminder of wooyoung and who he used to be. you could see him across the hall in his own bedroom, but...was that really still him? his demeanor seemed to have changed so dramatically that it no longer resembled the person you fell in love with initially. he was becoming someone else, someone you didn't recognize. and you didn't know if you could handle it anymore.

hearing your phone buzz, you shifted to your side to grab it and take a look. it was hongjoong’s text, asking if you wanted to come to see a movie with him and seonghwa. you recalled the last time you spoke with him, and remembered the intensity of the conversation. sure, he was deeply worried about you and was telling you things you needed to hear that night. but it only made you want to hide more since it meant you had to acknowledge more that you and wooyoung were no longer the same.

you wanted to continue living in the blissful bubble you had created where the two of you were fine, and nothing had changed. but the more time you spent in that space, the more the realities of the situation began to sink in, and the more the cracks in your bubble started to appear. so you avoided talking about the truth for as long as you could, until it got to the point where you could no longer deny it.

“that’s your problem, yn!” hongjoong looked at you with a concerned expression as he stood in front of you with san and seonghwa who matched the same energy. they had seen the situation unfold before enough times to know better than to intervene or get in the way when hongjoong was like this.

as he continued, he spoke louder, like he was trying to get through to you. "you give yourself away to people who keep shoving those parts of you back into your hands," he ranted, becoming more frustrated with each word.

you looked at him with teary eyes, knowing the truth but not wanting to face it. “i know this isn’t what you want to hear but you need to hear this, yn. because i don’t know if you know this but putting a light inside the house your soul died in will not stop it from haunting you.” hongjoong looked at you and his words hit deeper than you expected

"you need to let that light go," he continued, his voice becoming even more impassioned. "you need to let go of the pain, the anger, the sadness, and the guilt that you've held onto for so long. you need to come to terms with the fact that the house is empty, the light is gone, and it is time for you to move on."

when you stopped denying the truth, you began to see things clearer. hongjoong was right, you knew. "you need to let that light go," he had said, but the light he was referring to wasn't a literal one. it was... wooyoung. your best friend was the light you needed to let go of, to come to terms with the fact that it was gone and that you would never get it back.

"you’ve been hiding behind it for too long, too scared to let go," hongjoong persisted, "because if you let go, you would have to face the darkness that has clouded your mind, the feelings that you've been avoiding and refusing to acknowledge. it will be painful, it will be difficult. but it's the only way for you to truly heal."

you remained frozen in silence as hongjoong continued to speak, his words hitting home and piercing you with a truth that you had been actively avoiding. he was right, everything he said was true.

"hongjoong, that's enough," seonghwa’s gentle voice cut through the tension, calling for the confrontation to end. you glanced up and saw his reassuring hand placed gently on hongjoong’s shoulder.

"she’s dealt with enough," he continued. "she doesn't need to hear more, nor does she need to listen to any more harsh words."

as you spoke, your voice became thick, choked by the lump in your throat. "i just... don't want him to think i gave up on him."

"i don't want wooyoung to think i didn't give it my all..." your voice trailed off as you began to choke up. "but i..." you stopped, unable to continue as your tears continued to flow. "i just," you sighed, "i can't give up on him."

your voice cracked with every breath you took, and the tears continued to flow as the pain of realizing how impossible the situation had gotten began to sink in. "i know... i won't... give up on him," you whispered through your sniffles, your throat tight and your heart heavy.

later that night, you were cleaning up around the living space when you saw wooyoung stumbling in, clearly just waking up. you spoke softly to show that you knew he was there, and he grumbled in response. you exchanged a glance with him, noticing his disheveled appearance, and the dark circles under his eyes.

"are you alright?" you asked softly, his response was a grunt, followed by another grunt as he proceeded toward his room without a word. you followed him with your eyes, feeling guilty for asking him anything at all.

you watched as he stumbled back into his room, and a pang of guilt stabbed your heart. you knew he was going through a difficult time, and here you were asking him if he was okay. of course, he wasn't. and you knew that. but what else could you have done? you wanted to speak with him, to see him, to try and be there for him. but he didn't want to speak with you.

after he went into his room, you slowly continued cleaning up the shared space. you couldn't quite bring yourself to go to bed yet, even though you were exhausted. you took care to make sure things were as tidy and clean as they could be, despite the mess that was in your mind. your heart continued to ache with guilt and sadness for your best friend, and you wondered if there was anything you could have done to help him.

you decided to try one more time, gathering your courage and taking your time to slice his favorite fruits like you always did in the past when he was sad. you made your way into his dark room and saw that it was a mess, but you ignored the clutter and scattered clothing. you simply placed the plate of fruit on his bedside table and made a quiet retreat, just leaving the plate of fruit with him and not trying to talk to him again.

as you prepared to exit the room, your eyes scanned the entire space. your heart skipped a beat as your gaze landed on the small ziplock baggie in the corner. you tried to ignore it and pretend as if your mind was playing tricks on you. but you knew that it was real. you saw the tiny powder-like stains beneath the baggies, and you knew that it was more than just a reflection of the light.

you couldn't ignore the small pile of bags on the nightstand. instead, you found your eyes drawn to them, watching the glint of light off the powder-like stains beneath them. you knew what this was, and a chill ran down your spine as you finally accepted the truth. wooyoung's struggles were evident in the things he kept so hidden from you, the substance he kept close by.

it suddenly became very clear to you why wooyoung had been acting the way he had lately. his secretive behavior, the late nights, the withdrawn attitude. everything made sense now.

the truth hit you like a wave of ice-cold water. wooyoung had been using drugs. you had been blind to the signs and the warnings, but this was the confirmation you had been avoiding. and now, you couldn't avoid the reality anymore.

the shock slowly turned into sadness, like a weight settling in your stomach as you stood there, staring at the baggie of drugs on his nightstand. you were numb, frozen on the spot as you processed this revelation. wooyoung had always been so responsible, so sensible, so protective of you. never in a million years would you have imagined him turning to drugs to cope with his problems.

as you were about to leave the room, you were caught off guard by the sudden sound of wooyoung's voice. "you're... not supposed to see those," he rasped out, sounding exhausted and annoyed. you jumped a little at the sudden sound and his harsh tone, feeling like you'd been caught red-handed even though you knew you had every right to go into his room.

he sighed and sat up slowly, the mattress squeaking beneath his movement. "they’re just for me," wooyoung said in a low voice, his tone turning defensive. "they... they help me... cope," he continued, his voice trailing off at the end as he looked away from you. you noticed how he avoided your eyes, instead focusing on the floor below.

wooyoung’s words hung heavy in the air. they were clearly a crutch for him, helping him to cope with the pressures of life. but it was clear that they did little more than numb him. you watched as his eyes darted around the room as if he was nervous about something. his eyes flitted between the zipper bags on his nightstand, and he seemed like he wanted to say something more, but he stopped himself.

the tension in the air was palpable, and you could sense the heaviness in his breath. you couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind, what he wanted to say but couldn't.

“i can't let you keep destroying yourself, woo”, you said, your voice soft and compassionate. you didn't want to lecture him, you just tried your best to help him see the harm he was doing to himself. but he resisted your words, pushing back with his own defensiveness.

"please, just... let me have this," wooyoung said, a sharp edge to his tone. "don’t try and take this away from me, don't try and protect me. i’m fine, really. i can handle this," he snapped, his tone growing more frustrated. he didn't want you to interfere, didn't want you to try and protect him. he wanted to handle it on his own.

as you watched him, your heart broke even further. he wasn't fine, he wasn't handling it, he was using drugs to cope with his pain. and you were afraid of what would happen if he continued this way. wooyoung's eyes met yours, sharp with his anger, as he continued to resist your words. "don’t you trust me?" he said, suddenly looking more fragile than before.

"don’t you dare say that." you glared at him, feeling your anger rising as you struggled to control yourself. "you know i trust you, but i don't trust that..." you gestured to the baggies on his nightstand, your words heavy in the air. you could feel his defensiveness intensifying, a wall of bitterness rising as he felt he was being accused.

"you’re going to preach to me now, aren't you?" wooyoung glared at you, his frustration clear in his words. "tell me all about how drugs are bad, how they hurt our bodies, how they damage our brains, how they can't fill the void inside of us... is that what you're gonna say?"

wooyoung's glare was intense, his words dripping with hostility as he began to lash out. he knew how he used drugs to cope had been irresponsible and harmful, but he didn't want to be lectured about it. he felt defensive and angry, and he was not going to back down from this argument.

"so you just go right ahead and pretend as if it's not a problem." wooyoung continued, his frustration growing as he glared at you. "you know damn well that they help me cope, that they fill the void i feel inside of me. they make me feel numb, but at least i don't feel anything at all when i’m like this. so just let me have this, and stop trying to interfere."

you could feel your shoulders shaking, your eyes growing damp with tears as you looked at him. "what the hell happened to you, wooyoung?" you choked out the question, your throat clogging with emotion as you struggled to hold it together. you wanted to understand... you wanted to help him.

you saw his expression harden even further as he looked at you, his eyes no longer filled with anger, but rather something closer to contempt. as you choked back your tears, you realized that he seemed to think you were being dramatic. he didn't see the severity of his situation, didn't want to acknowledge that he was falling apart in front of you. your throat tightened as your eyes burned from the fight and the tears that were starting to fall.

you felt something growing inside of you as he stared at you with contempt. anger? hurt? you were feeling these emotions clash with one another as your eyes blurred with moisture. you wanted to yell that you cared about him, that you were just trying to help... but you knew it would fall on deaf ears. instead, you stayed silent, trying to hold back your sobs. it was like he didn't trust you anymore.

"oh... you're crying now, are you?" wooyoung said, his tone cutting and cold. "so you really do enjoy drama then, don't you? you want to try and make me feel worse than i already do, huh? well, you're not going to succeed, so save your tears for someone who cares."

his words stung, hitting everything that was vulnerable and painful inside you. you knew he knew what to say, which string he needed to tug on in order to hurt you the most. you tried to speak, but your voice shook and came out in a whisper. "stop." you tried to be stern, to defend yourself, but you knew that your defenses were crumbling away.

wooyoung smirked at you, and you wanted to slap him for the cruel way he was behaving. he seemed to be taking pleasure in the way he was hurting you, in the way he was tearing you down. he wasn't even hiding the fact that he knew exactly how to bring you down and tear you apart. he seemed to be enjoying it.

there was no holding back now, no restraint. your voice shot up in volume even as you tried to bite it back. "what have i ever done to you?" you looked at him, your eyes burning and your heart racing wildly. "what the hell have i done to deserve this?"

wooyoung stared at you, his eyes narrowing. he seemed to be considering the weight of your words, trying to decide if he wanted to answer honestly. after a moment, he seemed to just decide to be blunt with you. "you’ve never done anything to me," he finally replied simply.

"that's the thing," wooyoung said, his attitude finally starting to soften. "you haven't done a damn thing to me." he had finally stopped fighting back, and his tone had changed from one of anger and aggression to one that was just... tired.

"you’ve just... been there. being my friend. caring for me.. loving me." wooyoung’s voice cracked at the last word, and he seemed to be trying to control himself from breaking down.

"and what do you get out of it?" he took a deep sigh and rubbed his eyes. "me falling apart on drugs, making you cry, treating you like crap? is that what you deserve from your friend?"

he quickly cut you off when you began to open your mouth, stopping you from making any excuses for him. "don’t you start with the whole excuses for me, yn," he said. his tone was harsh, like a snapping order. he seemed to be trying to hold on to the last shred of his composure.

"please." his voice cracked on the last word, and his eyes suddenly filled with pain and sorrow. you could see the pain of his life finally coming to surface... the sadness and hopelessness that had been buried under the drugs and the denial finally coming back to haunt him.

he was so vulnerable, so fragile in this moment, and you couldn't help but feel heartbroken for him. the thought of him hurting like this, of him being so miserable and lost and alone, all because of the drugs and the denial, was unbearable. you wanted to reach out and comfort him, to hold him close and wipe away his pain, but you didn't know how.

"i know i’m not perfect, i know i’ve done things... i’ve hurt you..." wooyoung’s voice cracked and he paused, trying to collect himself. "i just... i’m so tired. i’m so tired of fighting, of trying to keep things together, of being in pain..."

he looked at you, and his eyes were filled with raw emotion.

"i don't want to give up on us," he continued. "you’ve been here for me... through everything... please don't give up on me."

wooyoung seemed to be opening up to you again, letting his walls down and showing you the real him. the one who was tired, scared, and scared of losing you. the one who was afraid of being alone. he looked at you, begging you to stay with him, not to give up on him like everyone else. he needed you.

“i can’t give up on you even if i tried,” your voice was quiet as you spoke this to him

"i know you can't give up on me, but i just don't know if i can... keep on like this." he seemed so miserable and exhausted, like he was on the brink of collapse. "i’m so tired," he continued, his voice shaking. "so tired of all the stress and anxiety and the fear of what's to come... i just..."

he paused again, as if trying to find the words to say all the things he was feeling. "i just don't have the strength to do this anymore," he finally admitted. "i’m tired of carrying all this weight on my shoulders, of pretending like everything is okay, when it's not... i’m just... i’m so fucking tired."

the words were pouring out of him, as if he had been holding them inside for a long time. the exhaustion and the pain, the weight and the worry, the fear and the grief... it was all finally coming out. his voice cracked, and he seemed to be fighting back the tears that were welling in his eyes.

wooyoung broke down finally, sobbing as his arms tremblingly folded around his torso. his body was racked with a mixture of sadness and pain, as he let the weight of his emotions finally take over. "i don't want to drag you down with me," he said, his voice trembling. "but i’m so damn selfish. you see, i’m so selfish that..." his words were beginning to be muffled, and he seemed to be struggling to continue.

"i don't want to lose you," he suddenly mumbled, his cheeks soaked with tears. "i’m so selfish that i don't want to let you go, that i keep dragging you down with me even though i know it's destroying you too... i know it's wrong, i know it's so damn selfish, but i can't let go..."

wooyoung was crying hard, openly and unapologetically. he was a mess of emotion, of hurt and fear and sorrow and pain. he didn't like the way he was hurting you, but he didn't know how to stop. he was stuck in this cycle of self-destruction, and he couldn't see a way out.

previous . . masterlist . . next

taglist @special4u @vampzity @jwone @dulceeed @fantasy2wonderland @fixedonlove

[td-scenarios]

Request: Confessional about s/o for Cody, Scott, Justin, Heather, and Lindsey? Have a great day!

(I hope u dont mind if it's pre-relationship! u didn't clarify, but i thought them talking abt their crush on reader would be cute :] )

__________________________________________

Scott

He looks slightly disturbed being here. A shifty look in his eye, almost as if he was nervous to look directly at the camera. Every time Scott had been in to make a confessional up until this point was to explain whatever he had been planning for the competition, so this was unsettling for him to say the least.

"So, Y/N, am I right?" He started before the camera fizzed out and came back to him in a different position. "Nevermind this is stupid."

It would take a while until Scott would brave the confessional again. This time, he was gripping his head like a madman. Slowly, his head tilted up until he was holding onto his face with his eyes framed by his fingers.

"I can't take it anymore. They're perfect! My schemes can't touch 'em!" His hands had left his face and he was gesturing wildly. "I don't think I even WANT my schemes to affect them. Woah. I never thought I'd say that."

Scott blinked dumbly at the camera before a scowl took over his expression.

"Y/N I'm comin' for ya."

-

Lindsay

"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay twirled a strand of her hair around her finger as she stared off into the distance past the camera. "Do you guys think that Y/N likes me? 'Cause I toooootally like them. Like, I like-like them." A dreamy smile plastered on her face as she kept talking. "I hope they like me back. Like who wouldn't?"

She thought about what she said for a second, her expression a bit grave as it finally focused on the camera.

"People like me, right? Yeah, they do. That means Y/N has to like me." A pause. "Ooooooh, but what if they don't?" Lindsay tapped her chin in thought at the idea. "Whatever! They're really cute and like smart and amazing!" The blonde finally stopped talking and just sat there with her head resting on her hands as she let out a wistful sigh. This pause continued for about a minute before she finally perked up and tilted her head at the camera.

"Wait, is this still going?"

-

Justin

The model tapped his finger on the vanity as he was thinking about what he should say. He finally looked up and fixed his hair in the mirror as he started talking.

"I never thought I'd meet anyone as gorgeous as me. And I haven't. But Y/N comes pretty close and that's dangerous. They're stunning and their wit is unmatched." His lips puckered in defeat since his hair wasn't falling the way he wanted to. Ultimately, he gave up on it as he kept talking.

"Maybe I should go for an alliance with them. The thought of getting Y/N voted off just...doesn't sit right with me. But I also can't have this sort of competition."

Justin sat there with a frown, not really knowing what his plans would become at this stage. He sighed before he shot a smirk back up at the camera.

"I need to stop with all this thinking, it's making me ugly."

-

Heather

"They're insufferable!" Heather growled, folding her arms across her body while glaring off to the side. "All they do is be stupidly kind and have a dumb face and...and...and well they piss me off!"

"I need Y/N out of this game. Pronto! If I am to keep my game face on then Y/N has to go. They're totally messing everything up!"

Heather huffed and continued stewing in her anger. Eventually, she kept sputtering on some anger fueled words before letting out a frustrated groan.

"I can't believe this is happening..." She grumbled, scrunching in on herself more.

Before the camera fizzed out, a slight smile was seen on Heather's face as she let out a dreamy sigh.

-

Cody

"Wow. Y/N..." Cody sat there, staring at the camera with the most overjoyed look on his face. "They're probably the first person I've ever found attractive that is actually giving me the time of day! This is great!!"

Cody silently cheered, raising his arms in the air with a big smile on his face. Once his tiny little self-contained celebration was over he finally began speaking once more.

"I really really hope they like me back. Wouldn't that be awesome?" He got a bit closer to the camera, a smile on his face.

"I mean, they don't push me away, they're not mean to me, and they actually laugh at my jokes! I think that the Codemeister has finally done it." His ecstatic boy-ish demeanor quickly replaced with a more smug one.

"Or, at least, I hope so."

[hawksredfeather]

Hawks | The Blood On My Hands

▸▸▸ HAWKS/KEIGO TAKAMI MASTERLIST

▸▸▸ SUMMARY : Hawks forgot to save everyone else but you, officially getting written up by HR and yourself.

▸▸▸ DETAILS : Angst, fem!reader, quirkless!reader, Hawks is your boyfriend, argument frfr, fluff and praise if you squint

▸▸▸ WARNINGS : Smut

▸▸▸ AUTHOR NOTES: dont forget to like >:>>

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

"Y/n, come on, look at me. I said look at me," Keigo says firmly. "You don't understand what this job is. Sometimes you have to make these choices."

You glare at him with glossed-over eyes across the shiny kitchen counter.

"There were people, Keigo. You could've saved so many people, and you chose to save me. You made that decision on your own without asking. You're supposed to save as many people as you can." Your voice is quiet compared to his. None of you want this argument to transform into a fight, having both been through a lot in the past twelve hours.

The tiny cuts on your hand from holding onto a worn-out piece of wood for at least fifteen minutes earlier started to prick as you absent-mindedly poked at them.

"I don't expect you to understand."

"You're right, I don't."

"Right, no, you don't. You don't fucking know what it's like. I don't give a shit if you don't understand, you have no right to be mad at me for saving you. You not having a quirk in this society makes you entirely defenceless. What the fuck did you want me to do, huh?!" Keigo's voice picked up in volume and anger, shouting at you in desperation for a hint of comprehension. "Just stay back and watch you die?!"

You looked away. "No, don't fucking look away from me, look at me." Keigo had a big thing for communication and eye contact, always searching for your gaze to understand your feelings. For you to understand his. "Would you have really preferred for me to let you die in front of me?"

"It's not about me Kei... It's about everyone else. They also deserved to be saved."

"You don't think I already have blood on my hands? I know you don't think it's fair. I know that." The hero's calloused hands grasped the edge of the counter, sighing. "I can't do my job if you're not safe," he continues. "There's nothing in this world worth saving if you're not here with me, (Y/n). Literally nothing. I do this job because I want to keep people safe ― which includes you by the way ― but also one day, truly live in a society where heroes actually have too much time on their hands, like the people say. So I can spend time with you, and be an active part of our life together instead of coming home at three in the morning while you're already asleep. Or having to plan a month in advance for a single date because of all the paperwork I have to fill out just to take the night off."

His voice picks up again. "Fucking look around, (Y/n)! Everything I fucking do is for you! This place? For you. My job? For you. I intend to keep you safe until my dying breath. Until someone takes a spear to my heart. I don't give a fuck if you don't approve of how I do it."

Keigo's large wings, extending outwards in a threatening way, showed the extent of the hero's feelings. A sincerity you can't fake, a vow you can't disprove. He looked like an angel from the other side of the counter, an angel with red wings and worn-out eyes, courtesy of the duty he felt he had to fulfill.

The hero lowered his head once again, his wings faltering. "I just... I can't lose you (Y/n). You're all I have left."

He knew you didn't mind him crying around you, but he always wanted to seem stronger than that. He had weaknesses but never owned up to them. This time, it was different. "I would repeat what I did a thousand times over if it meant us having this argument right now... if it meant you were sitting at the other end of the counter, safe and strong enough to talk back to me." Keigo looked up, tears brimming his eyes. His voice was shaky and uneven, finding cracks to seep through every now and then.

You frowned. You felt bad as Keigo described you as "all he had left". Although you didn't want him to extend favouritism towards you, you knew he wasn't capable of it. He would choose you over any group of people. Over Japan.

Over the entire world, if it came down to it.

And here you were, as he felt you were rejecting everything he's ever offered and will ever offer. He felt you were rejecting him.

"You have to understand," Keigo walked around the counter towards you. "You have to understand you're the reason the world even has Hawks. You're the reason they still have..." he inhaled a sharp breath, "...Keigo Takami. Without you, there's none of that hero shit. I'm yours first, hero second," he said like a guilty child. He was vulnerable.

You extended your hands to meet his stubbly face, chasing away his tears with your thumbs. You didn't mind seeing him cry, but that didn't mean you liked it either.

There was so much guilt, so much self-resentment, distress and loneliness inside of Keigo. You made him feel human and alive like he no longer had to be a shell of himself to exist around others. He was aware he was dropping that responsibility onto you, and that it wasn't fair to keep pushing you to accept him and all his baggage, but he knew that you would, selfishly hoping that you would never change your mind.

"Kei..." you spoke softly and sighed. "I just want you to do the right thing."

"I will," he says, knowing you both knew it was a lie. He would continue to pick you over everything if he was given the choice.

Keigo kissed you. Not just a quick peck to settle the argument, no; he kissed you until he couldn't breathe. He was yearning to capture the tiniest bit of your love for him, of your affection, just to satiate his sick mind.

You kissed back, but it wasn't enough for the greedy hero. Keigo grew needier, moving his hands from your face to your torso, caressing your breasts as best as he could through the fabric of your shirt and your bra. He needed you. He needed you to be all over him, a mess, so he could forget his mistakes and feel good.

You started to slowly give in, pushing your bodies together until Keigo was between your thighs. His feathers rustled together feeling the contact from his clothed dick to your crotch as he grinded on you gently. The attention he was giving you was priceless, and you felt adoration from every touch of his fingertips.

"I need you baby, come on, give it to me," he muttered against your lips, trailing them from your mouth to your neck. He wanted you to want it as much as he did before he did anything. Keigo was a gentleman after all.

He elicits gentle moans from you as he sucks on your neck, having slipped one hand under your bra to play with your breast as the other one rested on your thigh, holding you in place while he rocked his lower body against yours. "Please," he pleads once more.

"Kei, come on, you're teasing," you whined as his index came in contact with your nipple. He smirked. Your tone, your now needy body, your flushed face, your words... could raise his ego to the heavens way more than his hero status. Every time. Without fail.

Keigo picked you up from your waist placing you on the table. "You want it babybird? Hm? You want me fucking pounding your little cunt until you can't form a sentence? Is that what you want?" Even though his dirty talk was engulfed in lust, it was simply to rile you up, to make you as desperate for him as he wanted. In reality, his words were dripping in love, a different tone than when you're casually having sex.

"Answer me, hm? Tell me, love, is that what you want? Is that what your pussy needs from me, baby?" he continues, holding your jaw tightly to force you to look at him. Just like in arguments, he's very strong on eye contact.

"Yes, please, Kei, you're making me wait."

Keigo chuckled softly. "Yeah, I know... I know baby," he said as he felt a wave of sadness take over him. He removed your top first, following with your bra as you pawed at his shirt, silently asking for him to take it off which he did. He knew skin-to-skin was important to you. Keigo followed with your bottoms and the last remaining piece of your underwear before discarding the rest of his own clothing, all while keeping his mouth on yours. He was mixing up sadness and desperation in his mind, as well as relief, pain, love, and care.

How dare he call himself a man. How dare he call himself a hero.

Holding back his tears, he kept your legs open around him and his hands firmly placed on your hips to stop you from wriggling, entering you with full intent. You could sense something was wrong judging by his emotionally pained expression and by his sudden change of tone and pace. Keigo needed this, truly, but felt he would break down any minute now.

"Baby," you spoke up, but he just shook his head.

"No. Shut up, I'm fine, just let me have this, please," his voice cracked. He was not fine. But he wanted this.

Keigo began to rock his body against yours, jaw locking at the pleasure. His sadness transformed into anger, not towards you, but towards himself. His hips snapped against yours, pathetic moans and whines escaping your mouth with every one of his movements.

He felt okay shortly after for the first time in the night. He was in his own personal heaven, there, right between your legs, making you feel good, making you writhe under his touch. He could die happy knowing he could make you feel this good.

You clawed at Keigo's back, right under his wings so as to not hurt the more delicate feathers of them. He was in too much bliss to talk and knew you were too. The way the head of his cock hit your cervix just right, and your spongy walls throbbed against his length drove him insane. A throbbing, shaky, moaning mess under him, and the sight alone could make him cum anytime.

Keigo reached a hand down to play with your clit, making slow circles around it. He didn't want to overstimulate you, just bring you close to his orgasm.

"You gonna cum baby? Y-You gonna cum all over my cock? God, you feel so fucking heavenly," he whined and moaned. He was twitching inside you and was waiting for you to be close to release.

"Mh- K-Keigo- I-"

He smirked and shushed you gently, his mouth next to your ear with his body slumped over. "C-Cum for me princess, my pretty baby."

Keigo's thrusts became irregular as he felt you tighten around him and the slick from your orgasm drip down in between his thighs, the feeling making him cum as deep as he could, holding you close with his arms. He mumbled through his high.

"'Gonna protect you. 'M gonna offer you the world babybird. I'll make it worth it. I'll make it worth it..."

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

[bubblegyu00]

ZB1 LEGAL LINE AS FRAT BOYS

a/n : i lost the ask 💔

tw : mentions of drinking, drugs, sex (?), suggestive content, cussing, nsfw

mdni !!

• jiwoong

- the biggest asshole out of them i don't care fight me 💔

- will obsses over you at basically stalker level until you sleep with him cus he's delusional

- but the minute he gets you in bed he'll act like he doesn't even know your name — or he genuinely forgets a day later

- he probably doesn't remember half of the times he's ever fucked anyone cus it's not a big deal to him he was just horny

- has multiple girls thinking " guys i slept with jiwoong last night i think we might get together!! " but he's doesn't even remember what you look like 🙁

• hanbin

- a literal girl magnet

- like he could just sit there drinking and he'd get like three girls numbers in the span of an hour

- has a girlfriend for everyday of the week ( @lunicho is friday 😛 )

- he just has this certain charm to him that all the girls want a piece of him

- he's not as outgoing as the others, but he gets a good fraction of the girls

• zhanghao

- born to be valedictorian forced ( by ricky ) to be a man whore 🙁🙁

- no but frl i don't think he knows how insanely attractive and alluring he is — which is hard cus he lit has one girl on his lap, one girl under each arm, and like six other girls in the room wanting to talk to him ??

- but zhanghao is also rlly wanted because he is a man of mystery

- once you get into his pants ( which is a rlly hard thing to do — you go girl ) he's never speaking to you again

- like the minute he cums, he won't even look at you. like he'll literally go make a sandwich or something ??

- but out of all the ( 7 ) girls he's slept with, they say he's they best they've ever had. so now EVERYONE needs to experience zhanghao

• matthew

- DONT FALL FOR HIS TRICKS ‼️‼️‼️‼️

- has fucked the most girls.

- he likes to trick people with his sweet and caring demeanor, but really just wants his dick sucked 😛

- i feel like he'd be the only one to actually take you out on a date before he fucks you and then ghosts you 🥰 ( my standards are low..... )

- he's the most heartbreaking one cus he actually seems like such boyfriend materiel before he leaves you on read until he wants head again 💔

- but the girls always come back because he's literally in watch mojo for top 3 pussy eaters in the world

• taerae

- HE DOESNT GHOST YOU AFTER YOU FUCK 🎉🎉🎉🎉

- oh but he does fuck like twenty other girls while he's " dating " you

- he dates bunches of girls at the same time and they're all aware, but at least they're one of kim taerae's girlfriends ⁉️

- will take you on really good, perfect dates, but he's doing it to nineteen other people so it's not special 💔

- basically rotates girlfriends every two months, so that's sixty girls he's dating per year... you go rae 🥰

- his schedule is honestly so serious for him so the minute the two month mark hits you're cut off.

- but he's a good guy besides all that 🤗

• ricky

- is basically the leader of the fraternity like idk 🗣️🗣️

- the longest he's gone without taking a girl home is like.... three days ( i was last tuesday 🥰 )

- has fucked like every girl on campus like it's not even an exaggeration at this point

- kind of an asshole but it's okay i love when they're hot and toxic 🥰 ( can you tell i have relationship trauma )

- SUCH AN ASSHOLE WAIT CUS NOW IM THINKING..... he'd like flex his rolex while taking a picture on his family owned yacht that his rich ceo mom bought for him while wearing gucci....

- he's honestly such a smooth talker?? like he could def get you to sleep with him in under ten minutes of speaking, that's how good he is

- professional frat boy 😛

• gyuvin

- he's actually insane

- like he's going around snorting cocaine from girls' tits kind of insane

- he's the person everyone is chanting " CHUG! " for like ??

- LIFE OF THE PARTYYY

- if you show him any signs that you want to fuck he'll pull you into the nearest closet cus he'll buss it down anywhere

- NO BUT THE THING IS, HES SUCH A GOOD STUDENT NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO REPORT HIM FOR DOING DRUGS CUS THE TEACHERS WONT BELIEVE IT

- he's honestly the nicest cus he's actually such a fun guy to have around

[stxrvel]

not my one

summary: bucky was in love with you, from the bones to the tips of his hair, and life would be perfect for him if it weren't for the fact that you had just gotten engaged to Steve.

pairing: (bucky barnes x) f!reader x steve rogers

words: 4k

warnings: some bad words, bucky regretting a lot of things, bucky suffers a lot, reader is not aware of anything, miscommunication, bucky can be unfair to those around him. love triangle?¿ also angst. like i said before, there's no happy endings in this account.

note: hi! i had this in my drafts too for days until my inspiration strike again, and also only by leehi was playing on repeat on my headphones while writing this. if you want a full experience, i highly recommend you to listen to that song while reading. there's something in using a love song to write a heartbreaking story. anyway, i hope you all like this!! and i dont know when ill see you again so i really hope you guys enjoy this one. feedback is always appreciated! <3

So… Bucky knew it was wrong. From the beginning, from the first furtive glance, from the first unexpected, not at all reciprocal, brush. Bucky knew it was very wrong. His moral compass was shot when his thoughts, his intentions, went south and he couldn't stop them, or just didn't want to. At first it was hard to stop them, but at least he knew he intended to. After a good while, Bucky couldn't be sure he was really trying to stop it at all.

His gaze wandered in the crowds, among familiar faces, but only one that really cheered his soul. Guilt followed him, too. Maybe he had stopped fighting the feeling, but that didn't make it any more bearable. Seeing those two faces, smiling at them like it was nothing, asking them about the ring as if it were casual small talk while his heart contracted, made him feel like a traitor every day, and that guilt hung on his back like a bag full of stones. He carried his own sin like the unworthy one he was.

Still, he loved carrying those little moments in his heart, as if they really meant something, as if he didn't feel like he lost something every time he did it, as if butterflies flew around him when they did and everyone around him got as excited as he did, as if all the love songs came true in a single moment. As if saying I love you was as easy as breathing.

“Bucky, what do you say?”

But that was all just in his head.

“I'm with Natasha this time.”

The whole table was filled with shouts and boos. Bucky felt like he could shrink back in his seat and disappear.

Your face was right in front of his, a huge smile made your eyes sparkle. Everyone he knew was gathered and there were so many places Bucky could look, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the curve of your lips. It was electrifying the way a simple distant gesture could ignite his body like that.

And it was shattering the way he had to remind himself that he couldn't stare for that long.

Not when the first person you saw after laughing was Steve. Not when the first hand you held was his. Not when those sparkling eyes were only for him. Bucky had to remind himself that he couldn't stare at you too long because you were his, for Steve, even though Bucky felt like he was eternally yours.

Bucky could remember the first time he'd seen you because it had been the first time he'd felt alive after so long living in the shadows and dust.

He was fixing his motorcycle, as he used to do countless times, instead of having gone out with his friends to the dinner that night that Wanda had scheduled. Every month they had an outing and one of them had to organize it. That was how they'd basically managed to stay in touch after so long after being out of college.

Bucky knew everyone was going to hate him for canceling at the last minute, but he really didn't feel like going out. So he sat outside his garage with his motorcycle looking for any slightest mistake he could fix or any scratches he could paint while he spent the entire day just there. That was his plan. But everything changed the moment you suddenly appeared in front of him, in a white flowered dress that he could still remember, that you actually still wore, and asked him if he could help you. With those doe eyes and a pout Bucky couldn't have escaped you, even if he wanted to.

“Excuse me, hello,” Bucky heard your voice for the first time and raised his head as if he knew what was in store for him.

Seeing you for the first time was very pleasurable, Bucky truly thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. The tool in his hand was halfway through fixing something on his motorcycle when his hand froze and his lips remained pursed. When he thought about it from time to time, Bucky thought he must have looked like an idiot.

“I don't want to bother you. Uhm… I'm Y/N. I just moved into the house over there,” you moved to point to one of the houses in the neighborhood that Bucky had seen for sale, being so far inside his own head to even realize that someone actually moved in there. “I wanted to know if… Well, it's just that I see you fix things and I- My car broke down. I don't know what's wrong with it, but it won't start with anything. I don't know anybody around either and only you were around, could you help me?”

Bucky had never heard a person ramble on like that. Rather he could say he had never heard such a melodic voice nor had he ever found a person who just rambled so tender and entertaining.

He took a moment to look behind you, where indeed there was a black car parked near the approach with the hood open. Returning his gaze back to you, he found you anxiously waving interlocked hands and a slightly frowning brow.

“Sure,” was all he said.

The smile you sketched for him felt like a reward.

“Thank you! Really thank you so much.”

Bucky could only nod as he picked himself up off the floor.

At that moment, your gaze lowered and met the bare chest of a man who spent every morning looking for something to fix on his perfectly good motorcycle. Bucky didn't think it was ever possible again, but he felt his cheeks redden.

“I'm going to-” Bucky motioned pointing to his house and then to his bare chest and then disappeared behind the door leading into his living room from the garage.

As he entered he had leaned against the closed door and berated himself for acting like a teenager and not a responsible adult who paid his taxes on time.

He came back out a few minutes later wearing a dark shirt and found you circling around his bike, looking at it as if you were in a museum. When he approached, you straightened up in embarrassment. Bucky wondered what you could feel embarrassed for when your very existence was worthy of being admired like that in a huge museum.

“Is that your car over there?” he asked stupidly, pointing to the only car parked along the road.

But as if that hadn't been too obvious a remark, you nodded animatedly and started walking in the direction of the vehicle. It looked like that huge grin wasn't going to disappear from your face since he agreed to help you, and Bucky felt like he was going to get in trouble for it.

“It came out of the garage very normally and I parked it here. I turned the engine off and went inside to get some stuff out and when I came back it just wouldn't start,” you explained with a cute frown, as you moved closer and closer to the car, that he couldn't stop staring at as if that was what he had to fix.

“Okay,” he almost whispered, and was startled as you moved closer to him to hear what he was saying. “You can stay in the seat and turn it on when I tell you.”

You shook your head animatedly again and went to sit down to wait for his direction. Bucky lingered for a moment processing the delicious floral, sweet smell, and the vanilla that your perfume gave off. He felt it wouldn't be long before it became his favorite scent. The lavender and vanilla. Bucky wasn't even a fan of ice cream or flowers.

He reluctantly looked down, letting the scent escape into the air. He quickly spot the problem and, after a simple motion, reached up to lower the hood.

“You can turn it on now.”

Bucky watched your surprised face, eyebrows raised and lips curved in a circle. It startled him how fast you were making his heart move in such a short time. How was that even possible?

It was even better when you moved the key and the car started without a hitch, with that giant crescent smile that almost hid your eyes completely. By the time you got out of the car, any trace of discomfort or nervousness in you was gone.

“Thank you very, very, very much. You don't know what you just saved me from…”

Bucky stared intently into your shining eyes, as if in the midst of a trance, as if he had to do it to live. He became so immersed in his introspection that he almost didn't notice that you were waiting for him to give you his name.

“Bucky.”

“Bucky…”

He almost melted at your melodious voice repeating his name as simple as butter, as if that's the way it had always been.

“Thank you so much, Bucky.”

He nodded, barely curving his lips into a half smile, and that also served as a farewell.

Bucky didn't know, or maybe he did, that from that moment on he wasn't going to be able to get you out of his head. And even if he tried, doing so would be more painful than simply leaving you there growing in his thoughts like ivy.

--

Bucky had spent many nights thinking about what had gone wrong. He replayed conversations in his head endlessly, like a broken record he replayed his own words, thought about what it all would have been like if he had done something different, if he had said something different, if that really would have been a relief to his heart. Bucky had already thought of everything, but really the only answer is that you were not meant to be together as he'd imagined.

Nothing was ever reciprocated. Any spark, any friction, it all had to have been inside his head because there was no other explanation.

And everything changed that night.

He had talked to you too many times since your car thing, even though it was hard for him. You had been to his house and he had been to yours almost countless times. You would meet in town and drive back together. You walked early on weekends. You brought him the best dishes he'd ever tasted in his life to eat together….

And he decided to take you to meet his friends. Even before he took you on a date. Before talking about what you had. Before a kiss. Before sleeping together.

For Bucky there was nothing more important than you meeting his friends. That's how big his love was, even if sometimes he lied so he wouldn't see them. It was his way of loving.

Every day of his life he regretted that decision because that night it was all about Steve and you. That night he felt like the world was falling apart on him. Everyone was talking about Steve and you. That you had so much in common, that you would make a cute couple, that your children would be beautiful. Bucky loved his friends, but that night…

After that everything went to hell.

As if you'd never met him, your days began to fill with Steve.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh. I'm going to meet Steve. We have a reservation.”

“Ah.”

Every day. There wasn't a day when he didn't hear his best friend's name come out of your mouth, sentencing him to eternal agony, because Bucky was never able to tell him that he loved you first, that he fell in love first. He couldn't do that to Steve who in so many things had been with him and had gone through so much.

“Are you free tonight?”

“No, Buck, I'm sorry. I'm going out with Steve.”

“Oh, sure. Is he coming to pick you up?”

“No, I'll take a cab.”

“At this hour?”

“Don't worry. I'll text you when I get there.”

And you did. But you wrote him too much. You told him how amazing the date had gone. You described how good you felt around him. And you confessed to him that you'd kissed.

Bucky thought about moving out after that.

“Hi, Bucky!”

But he also thought about how hard it would be to be so far away from you. Maybe it was worth it to avoid a broken heart, but…. No, it was too late for that now.

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

He lifted his head so fast he felt a whiplash of tension run down his back.

“No. Why?”

Could it be possible that…?

“Then you are cordially invited to a game night at my house. Sincerely, Steve and I.”

Steve and I.

Bucky shouldn't have been disappointed because he knew he shouldn't have felt hope in the first place, but he didn't expect to feel the anger bubbling in his chest either. You walked away like it was nothing after that, with a huge smile on your face, the one that made him fall in love with you in the first place. You walked animatedly as if you hadn't just stomped his heart to smithereens. You walked totally oblivious to the overwhelming guilt that grew from the pit of his stomach to plant itself in his chest for the first time.

You didn't even know anything. There was no way Bucky could blame you. Not even Steve. He had only himself to blame. For not speaking up first, for waiting so long, for not taking the risk.

Bucky didn't go to that game night.

Not the next one, not the one after that, not the one after that, not the one after that, not the one after that either…

Bucky stopped going to his friends' monthly meetings. He always said he had too much work. And yes, he dragged out his own work so he wouldn't even risk thinking about all he had lost.

At least five months passed and it was a year to the day since that night when Bucky made the worst mistake of his life.

That night he was surprised to find Steve outside his door.

He had just come home from work. It was close to ten o'clock at night. His face was cold from the weather and from not wearing his helmet since entering his residential area.

“Steve,” was his greeting.

“Bucky,” his friend reciprocated as he parked the bike in his garage.

Reluctant to any kind of conversation that might come up that night, Bucky tried to find any possible excuse to get Steve to leave. But he took too long.

“We're neighbors now,” was all Steve said, once Bucky got off the bike and turned to face him.

“What?”

“I moved in with Y/N today. I live with her now.”

Like a hundred broken panes of glass Bucky's heart sounded every time it pounded. His friend's sparkling eyes were telling him, screaming at him to say something, to congratulate him, a few words, but his breath caught in his throat and he didn't even feel like he could trust his own legs at that moment.

You had moved in together.

You loved Steve so much that you'd asked him to move in with you.

“That's good, Steve.”

Not even great, just good. The words came almost slurred out of his mouth, and yes, his own head ripped the words out of him before it became too awkward and suspicious a silence.

“We tried to call you to come by after work. We had a little party.”

“I had my cell phone on silent.”

Bullshit. Bucky had seen every call, even yours, along with your messages, and had spent a good while just staring at the screen wondering what it could be about that both of you at the same time wanted to contact him.

“I figured.”

Steve sighed, and for a second Bucky thought he had figured it out. From the look on his face, Bucky figured he'd tell him to stay away from you and not try to get close because he'll have him between his eyebrows.

“You can stop by tomorrow at breakfast, if you want.”

Somehow, that was worse.

“No, thanks.”

“Buck-”

“I'm leaving very early for work.”

“Bucky-”

“I can't, Steve, I'm sorry.”

“Bucky, we haven't seen you in months.”

The aforementioned stood halfway through opening the door to his living room, almost completely forgetting that had he gone through to the other side he would have locked his best friend in his garage and, for a moment, that almost didn't even matter to him. The thought scared him.

“It's been about four months since I've seen you in person. I figured you were going through something and needed time, but hasn't it been a long time already?”

“Five.”

“What?”

“It's been five months,” Bucky turned to look at his friend unhinged face and guilt washed over him once more, as strong as the first time, a great wave breaking the sand. “Come in. So you can go out the front door because I already locked that door and it's electric and very slow and…”

The sympathetic expression on Steve's face didn't please him, he decided he didn't like it. It looked like he was looking at him with sorrow, with pain, but he didn't understand, he wasn't going through half of what Bucky was feeling everyday, he didn't have the slightest idea. He was going to a warm bed after this, at least, and Bucky would get to the great solitude of his thoughts.

No. Steve didn't understand shit.

“Don't look at me with that fucking face,” he exclaimed before he could stop himself. “Just leave.”

Bucky thought about that hurt expression on Steve's face for several days.

--

Two months later, somehow, you had convinced Bucky to attend one of your monthly meetings. It was so hard and yet so easy to make that decision, because you had gone all the way to his house and knocked on his door and asked him to come so many times that he couldn't say no just to avoid seeing your disappointed face.

And so it had come to that moment. That moment where everyone was booing Natasha and Bucky could tell by your huge smile that he hadn't gotten over you one bit. Two months without seeing you had been for nothing. That zero contact method surely only worked with teenagers.

As the laughter dissipated, Bucky thought about all he had been through and all he had suffered in silence. He hated that he couldn't hate anyone because everything that had happened was his fault. He hated every time he logged on to his text app and had to find himself in the group chat various messages about how Steve and you made such a great couple that neither of them could wait for you to get married.

Maybe Bucky complained too much.

Because the next thing he knew, everyone gathered around the table and you announced your engagement to Steve. When the table was again filled with shouts and applause, Bucky couldn't take his eyes off the giant ketchup stain on the table that Natasha had caused by getting too excited about the news. The envelope had been crushed by her hand, splattering its contents on that piece of the table and even on the shirts of those nearby. But no one really cared, because you and Steve were getting married. No one except…

... Bucky's weak and bruised heart, which despite the months could never stop beating just for you. Even though he tried, for his sake, for the sake of your friendship, for the sake of being happy for his best friend, he simply could not. It was a losing battle for him from the start. Ever since you showed up in his front yard in that blessed white flowered dress you were wearing now to deliver that news, and you smiled gratefully at him with the same smile you had now as you were encircled by Wanda and Tony's arms.

Bucky wanted to say that he'd grown accustomed to the pain that accompanies a broken heart, but the truth was that it never got easier. Every time he felt that pain, he prayed he wouldn't have to feel it again, because the pain that followed was so much stronger, so much so that he felt it suck the air out of him and a hollowness made its space inside his chest.

Bucky was really struggling to keep his composure at that moment.

But when he looked away from the large ketchup stain on the table, he met Steve's eyes, and somehow he knew. Bucky knew that he knew. However it was, coincidence or fate, Bucky realized that Steve knew what was going through his head.

And, for some reason, Steve didn't look angry.

But Bucky wasn't taking that pressure. Feeling invisible hands suffocating him.

So he barely mumbled an apology to him and ran out of the house.

His intention was to make it to the safety of his house, but his legs only gave out until he found his motorcycle parked in front of the future husband and wife's house.

His breathing was heavy, rapid and ragged. Of all the heartbreaks, that one was perhaps the most painful.

“Bucky?”

Hearing your voice behind him as he tried to fight the anxiety of not crying, not that moment, not in that place, not when it could be so obvious to you, was like a bucket of cold water. He suddenly felt alert, uncovered.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Why?”

“You ran out of the house.”

Although he tried to avoid it, the first thing he saw when you stepped around him to face him was the large ring that was now part of you. It was beautiful and delicate, Steve had made a good choice.

“I was overwhelmed for a moment. The screaming and stuff,” he gave you a lousy excuse, but it seemed to convince you enough.

“Oh, sure, I'm sorry. Do you want me to make you some tea? I've got a soothing one.”

“No,” Bucky shook his head quickly. “No need. I'd better go to my place.”

“So soon?”

Bucky looked into those deer eyes he loved so much and it hurt so much to think that would be the last time he saw them.

“Yeah, I'll feel better there. Don't worry.”

“Text me if you need anything.”

“Sure,” he wasn't going to. “Ah, congratulations on the engagement.”

Bucky was going to leave it at that, at a few simple words he tried to say with his heart in his hand, but you went further and jumped in to hug him by wrapping your arms around his neck. He felt dizzy for a moment.

“If it wasn't for you I never would have met him. Thanks, Buck.”

Bucky swallowed hard to keep from collapsing right there in your arms.

“Sure.”

“And to think I thought I'd end up with you,” you blurted out with a chuckle, as if it was nothing, as you backed away from his body, as if you hadn't just dropped a bomb on his face.

Bucky went cold.

“What?”

You laughed again, as if it was nothing more than a funny anecdote from adolescence or college. His chest heaved from the pain, his heart pounding so hard he felt it behind his ears. Hands sweaty, he didn't feel ready to listen to you.

“When we first met I liked you, Bucky, and I thought maybe we could work something out… But then I met Steve and it was… Wow, like fireworks.”

“Ah.”

“I guess things really do happen for a reason.”

“Yeah, right,” Bucky replied on automatic, afraid that any distraction would give him a glimpse, trying to even out his breathing.

“Well, you know, text me if you need anything.”

“Yeah.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“See you at the wedding, huh.”

“Sure.”

Bucky followed you with his eyes as you walked back to your driveway, where Steve was waiting for you. His gaze lit up as much as yours every time he saw you and the lump in Bucky's throat kept getting bigger and bigger. He couldn't be one second closer to that house.

But then you walked into the house and Bucky met Steve's gaze.

He started to get on his bike as his best friend started walking towards him.

“Why didn't you ever say anything?”

Bucky remained sitting on the bike, helmet in his hands.

“I'm not going to talk about this with you now, Steve.”

“No, Bucky, you're not going to do this again. Answer me.”

“Steve…”

“Answer me!”

Bucky turned to see his friend's contracted face and knew where his anger was coming from. It wasn't against him, it wasn't against his feelings.

“I just… I couldn't do it.”

“And that's all?”

“Yeah, that's all,” Bucky started the bike. “I couldn't say anything when I saw you smile for the first time in months. Not when you actually looked happy after everything you went through.”

“What I went through? What we went through, Bucky! We both suffered through it and you… you…”

“Whatever it is, Steve, it's over. The time is past. It's all behind us.”

“Bucky…” Steve slurred the words, incredulous, pained to see his best friend allowed to suffer like that. In deep pain because he knew if it had been the other way around he would have done the same.

“I'll be fine. Send me the invitation to the wedding. I promise I'll be there, if you want me there. And I'll be fine by then. I'll be fine.”

Bucky finally put on the case and without waiting for final words from Steve, he took off riding to an aimless destination.

He didn't know if he would be better by the time the wedding happened, because thinking about it at that moment made the tears run desperately down his cheeks, even though the wind dried them very quickly, just as they were replaced by others and others.

Bucky had no idea if he would ever be well again, but he had to try. He had to try because at that moment he felt like he would die.

[the-s1lly-corner]

uh, hi i’m pretty new to this but can you do a tadc headcannons for a reader who constantly wears a box and/or paper bag on their head because they don’t like how they look?

i’m not expecting you to see this! i’m just curious

TADC cast x reader who wears a box on their head due to their looks!

sorry it took me so long to get to this! my feelings have been in a bit of whirlwind lately and my motivation has taken a nose dive and i may or may not have stopped answering requests chronologically in favor of answering the ones that are easier on my brain </3

CAINE:

assuming he knows you wear it because you feel insecure, i think he would do his best to try to uplift you; especially if you guys are friends and/or partners! he cant stand the idea of you not liking yourself as much as he likes you, you know? makes it a point to tell you that he thinks youre attractive, as well as giving you extra affection... kind of goes overkill, will likely do way too much to try to cheer you up. like im talking he probably dedicates a firework show to you or puts your name in lights, stuff like that to let you know that he cares a lot... but hes got good intentions, i promise!

POMNI:

i think she would find out about the reason behind the box after you open up to her about it. she always just assumed that it was a part of your digital body... and it very well could be, just detachable, like how zooble can take parts of themselves off... not the best at comforting you and telling you youre pretty, but i think her awkwardness and stammering makes her words more sincere. they dont sound rehearsed and scripted, you know? it sounds more natural and earnest. you cant help but believe her when she says she thinks youre pretty, if you decide to show her what you look like under the box

RAGATHA:

also very sweet about it. does not ask for you to take off the box, but she does express that you can unwind around her... very reassuring whenever its brought up, in fact i dont think she wound bring it up unless you did, fearing that she would make you feel pressured to take it off. little scenario but i do think that if you took the box off around her for the first time she kind of just. doesnt notice for a moment before actually paying attention and she kind of just stands there and stares, before simply saying youre beautiful. doesnt make a big stink of it, you know?

JAX:

has probably drawn on your box at least once or put something on it (gum, stickers, slime, ect) but i dont think he would keep doing it when he finds out why you do it... though.... he does purposefully break gangles mask/steps on it so im not... actually sure about that. hmm... i think he would try to play it casual when you bring up your thoughts of yourself to him, though it may come off as him minimizing your feelings. to put it simply jax doesnt think there should be a huge fuss about it. i mean its not like its your real face... might lead to some conflict due to him not having much empathy, for you.. apologies to the jax enjoyers but i do think he would steal the box to try to prove that its not that deep

KINGER:

also thinks that the box is just a part of you before you fill him in on the reasoning around it. displays some brief curiosity before apologizing for prying. i think he would have a similar scenario to ragatha where he wouldnt realize that you took the box off around him for a minute... though unlike ragatha, he doesnt just say youre pretty. i think he would pick apart every part of your face and complement it.. though, i think he generally complements every aspect of you, face or not... you know? not quite as bold as caine, but just as much of a sap, you know?

ZOOBLE:

kind of understands, since theyre a little... complicated and they like switching out their parts to fit whatever feel that want to have that day. but im not sure how deep their feelings would go, because i can kind of see them being similar to jax in this scenario, but less of an asshole. they wont take your box, nor will they write off your insecurities because they actually hold some understanding to them. i think they would offer to help you find a look that you feel comfortable with, sometimes a little something can change a lot of things, you know? but if its something more deep rooted, they would let you talk about it... doesnt speak much on the box since ultimately thats youre business. though, you cant help but notice them complimenting your skills and talents more now that youve opened up to them

GANGLE:

i think she would relate to it. i recall seeing someone say that gangle isnt actually more confident and happy with her comedy mask, rather its a false thing to pretend theyre happy. and honestly, i can see it. id tag the person but i saw this a while ago and i failed to save it </3

moving on, i think she would find some kind of relatability in you. like sure, its not the exact same thing, but you guys are both hiding aspects of yourself behind an object. she wouldnt ever dare make you feel pressured to take it off around her. i think out of all the characters, asides ragatha, shes the best with making you feel comfortable. you can take it off around her when youre ready. i dont think she would flood you with compliments, but i do think she would do her damndest to make you feel good about yourself. leaves you lots of notes reminding you how much she values you + little doodles

[emerxshiu]

FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3

I AM SOOOO BACK

I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.

I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.

ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?

you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver

Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade

some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see

silly :3

fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it

thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)

also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day

Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk

ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned

background cuz i think it came out really pretty

doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...

also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing

I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything

Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol

I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual

Jambuhbye!

[mykelneedssleep]

I had the realization today that I dont think I’ve ever spoken about my son on here and since a lot of you know me for podcast content this needs to be rectified immediately so I present to you my first born son: Nureyev

Yes, as in Peter Nureyev. Hilariously this is the most accurate name I have ever chosen for anything because this little bitch has such Peter Nureyev vibes it’s actually crazy. I present a list of random facts about him that I can think of off the top of my head:

1. Literally the first day I had him one of the first things we found out about this tiny little baby was that if there’s a dead cricket in his tank you bet your ass he’s not eating it. This bougie ass bitch only eats live prey. You physically don’t understand how often I have to buy him food because god forbid it dies before he kill it, he’d actually rather starve than eat a dead bug. I can attest to that because one time there was a cricket shortage in my area because it was so cold that all the crickets were dying in transport and this little bitch actually went days without eating because he wouldn’t eat the dead crickets (I finally got him to eat by pushing them around with a clear plastic spoon to make it look like they were moving- lying to your kids works folks)

2. He makes regular attempts to escape from his tank by climbing up the glass. Despite 4 years of trying it still hasn’t worked once but he’s determined he’s going to do it one of these times

3. My mother who typically lovingly refers to him as Nev (“his name is longer than he is, I’m giving him a nickname” -my mother approximately 10 minutes after his name was chosen, took her 3 more days to come up with Nev) will often refer to him as Pete if he’s doing something bad (see above escape attempt). This is particularly funny in the presence of people who are unaware of this nickname but aware enough to know the names of all the animals in our home because they become very confused

4. “The thief is on the prowl” is a very common phrase in our home, this typically means someone has to feed the boy because he’s stalking around the tank looking for living creatures to torment and finding none

5. He regularly sticks his entire head into his water bowl and just leaves it there for a little bit until I become quite convinced that he’s going to drown and then he will just get up and walk away like he didn’t just give me a heart attack

6. If you’re holding him he will climb all over you and somehow find a place to randomly jump off from (again, heart attack every time). Hearing “Nureyev!” said loudly in a concerned but sort of exasperated way is very common

7. If one of his water bowls is empty he will lay in it to get you to pay attention to the fact that it has no water in it but will then refuse to move when you go to put water in it and will become very upset when you eventually give up and just pour water onto him (the above photo was taken directly after I deep cleaned his tank and before I put the water back in, shockingly he looked quite cute instead of seriously pissed off like usual)

8. He likes to have the high ground (he likes to climb on top of people’s heads and just sit there and watch the world as you walk around and continue what you were previously doing. Luckily he has never attempted to jump off someone’s head before)

9. Very dramatic sleeper. I’m talking will sleep in the weirdest positions but like you do you king, if that’s comfy I endorse it

10. He regularly hides in any available nook and/or cranny in the tank. This is yet another cause of great stress for me when I cannot find him

Bonus fact: This bougie bitch was approximately half of the inspiration behind how I play Lizzie (shoutout O!ASKAP enjoyers, this one’s for you). If you’re wondering the other half is simply my penchant for playing the least helpful character I can possibly get away with

[sawturn77]

𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑬𝒀𝑬𝑺 (𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

02: somebody I used to know.

MASTERLIST.

january 1st, 2018.

----

suguru saved me from the awkward silence and wiggly eyebrows from satoru. "y/n! come help me set up the table, please!" "coming!" i bolted out of there. phew, at least im free from embarrassment now. . once i got in the kitchen, yuji and nobara were arguing about who was going to eat the most food. suguru handed me the utensils that went on the table. i realized hadn't talked to him since i got home. he gently patted my head instead of ruffling my hair like satoru. "how was your visit to the ice rink?" he asked, gently smiling at me. "It was good, until i hit my head and fell on my butt." suguru chuckled at my defeated tone. i started to set the table, placing the chopsticks, spoons, etc in front of every seat. i watch as yuji and nobara approach him, talking to him comfortably. i didnt know they were friends with megumi. he seems like the closed off type, especially now.

----

soon, shoko arrives and everyone eats. i have to admit, my brother sure can cook. im starting to think hes like satoru's malewife..anyways, after everyone finished eating, we had a drawing, and whoever drew the short stick had to wash dishes while everyone else got to play uno. God was NOT favoring me today. there were two short sticks, and guess who got them! me and megumi. FREAKING MEGUMI. you know what? it cant get more awkward than this.... right?

wrong.

here, we stood right beside each other, shoulder touching shoulder, leg touching leg. i wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. the worst part was, he wasn’t even bothered by it! he didn’t even acknowledge it! surely, if i was him, i’d at least be stealing glances! oh, well, maybe he isnt that kind of guy. he was never interested in stuff like that. the two of us stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. the entire time, i was wondering how to start a conversation and barely got anything done! megumi had done most of it. now he probably thinks im useless! he’ll never associate himself with someone so unhelpful. “so,” i started, lips trembling. he glances at me. how come his eyelashes are so long? does he use mascara? “how..how have you b-been lately?” i wanted to curse myself. who the hell stutters nowadays!? “alright. what about you?” i could feel my shoulders tensing. i had heard his voice earlier, but now, im really paying attention to it. just thinking about it makes my stomach do axles. “good, actually.” i smiled, desperate to keep myself from squealing. minutes past, he hasnt said anything after that. okay, you dont wanna talk to me, cool. fine. whatever. (squealing) part of me wanted yuji and nobara to come in and start being annoying to break the ice. hell, maybe even satoru would do. after what seemed like decades, we finally finished washing the dishes. i sighed in relief, but i couldnt have a moment of grace before my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. i felt a napkin on my cheek, wiping soap off my face. “sorry,” he muttered. kill. me. please. “you had soap on your face.” i laughed awkwardly while he just looked at me, “really? i-uhm, i didn’t know! thanks.” what the hell, y/n?? what is your problem??

yuji and nobara ran towards me and megumi, bombarding us with a fury of words i didnt understand. something along the lines of, “guess what?? i won against mr. gojo!” “no, kugisaki cheated!” “the hell? i didnt cheat! all of you just suck!” “cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!” “grow up!” megumi frowned at their antics. “idiots” he muttered.

an: hey guys sorry for the short chapter😔i kinda rushed bc i have to gts early bc i have school tmrw. but i will be posting tomorrow or the day after that! it normally takes me two days (4 hours total) to write this much anyway

TAGLIST: @fillmeup6969 @morgyyyyy @kasumitenbaz (OPEN)

[gayfanservice]

Hello! I have a request for you but please take your time there is no rush!

Can you please to Ushiwaka (Tendou’s nickname for him) with a male reader who loves physical touch but in public places get super overwhelmed? Like something i find really cute and something that i find special is when im overwhelmed ill lock pinkies with my partner. Nothing more nothing less just our pinkies. It feels extra special to me because its like you just are pinky promising to stay together forever but you guys are also giving each other physical touch.

Sorry if this is really long! Thank have a good day! :)

It’s not long at all! Perfect length, if I do say so myself. There’s only a couple of requests that are too long for my liking (like the twins + older brother, please don’t make requests this length. Please.)

*********

Chatter and sounds of utensils filled the cafeteria air as Wakatoshi and (Y/N) comfortably sat beside each other. The quiet pair barely chatted, merely basking in each others presence as they occasionally glanced at each other. The comfortable silence broken by none other than Tendō, Wakatoshi’s school best friend, dropping his poor tray onto the table as he quickly sat down, Semi following suit.

“Ushiwaka, (L/N)! Good morning!” The brightly haired fellow basically yelled, a smile on his face as Semi looked semi-dead. Poor man must’ve not gotten enough sleep to deal with Tendō’s shit this early in the morning.

Wakatoshi acknowledged them with a simple ‘Morning,’ while (Y/N) let out an inaudible hum. He loved hanging with friends, but the cafeteria was always his least favorite place. The loud people, buzzing lights, and all around noises were too much for his brain to handle. The only reason he actually shows up is because he needs food, and Wakatoshi, who also needs food. He’d only been in there for close to twenty minutes and his brain was already feeling foggy. It was beginning to be too much.

(Y/N) listened to three different conversations; some girl talking about a bad break up, a group of friends talking about what to do for the upcoming weekend, something about murder, which is probably about a video game. Probably. The clashing sounds of lights and chatter were getting to his head, no longer able to listen to Tendō’s hyper-fixation ramble on his newest manga series. His breathing quickened, chest feeling cold as his head slightly twitched every which way.

Wakatoshi glanced over at (Y/N), noticing the spaced out look on his face and his subtle twitching. He linked their pinkies with a squeeze, a subtle question wondering if (Y/N) was fine. He quickly settled his gaze back onto his tray. He felt (Y/N) squeeze a couple times; a special thing they did together instead of saying words was tapping or squeezing whatever they held of the other. One for no, two for yes, and three for ‘I love you’. It was perfect communication between two non-sociable human beings.

(Y/N) felt better, knowing someone he trusts is with him. His chest felt warm as he thought about how much Wakatoshi cares about him. (Y/N) could make it to the end with him.

Wakatoshi finished his tray as well as (Y/N), deciding it was time to head back to their dorms and away from people. The two stood, waving goodbye at Tendō and Semi, and placed their trays in the respective area before they made their way back to whoever’s dorm popped up first, pinkies intertwined once again.

The walk was quiet, neither really speaking as they walked through the long hallway filled with different doors. Wakatoshi’s door eventually came up. The two settled inside, the morning sun dimly lighting up the room through Wakatoshi’s curtains. As soon as the door closed (Y/N) wrapped his arms around Wakatoshi, chest to back. His cheek coddled into Wakatoshi, instantly feeling better as Wakatoshi held his hands. The two didn’t talk as they embraced, gentle smiles on both of their faces as they relaxed into each others, and only each others, presence.

*********

Bet you dont even remember making this request lmao

[hollowhearts-and-espresso]

on an outsiders kick so heres the main gang as things me and my friends have said

Soda: Your wish is my command. Be gay forever

Steve: I'm still straight but I'd fuck you now

Soda: Not that gay

--

Darry: I dont really like you. Why are you always hanging around?

Dally: I ask myself the same thing every single day

--

Pony: I know we're supposed to be saying embarrassing things about ourselves but before we talk about me i'm really upset Two-Bit didnt mention the fact that he was in love with thomas the train

Two-Bit: i watched ONE episode when i was FIVE go fuck yourself

Pony: You have a shrine by your bed

Two-Bit: irrelevant

--

Johnny: I'm not really scared of anything, no

Johnny: but cats freak me out. and so do dogs, sometimes, but mainly cats. and especially ducks. oh, and needles, and doctors in general. also loud noises, sharp objects near me, any sort of projectile, and stoves. but like, thats not that many things

Dally: I understand so much about you now

--

Pony: I'm going to write a novel and all of you are gonna have characters based off you. Any questions about it?

Two-Bit: Am I hot?

Pony: No. Next question

Darry: Am I going to regret reading this?

Pony: For sure. Next.

Johnny: Please dont make me a crybaby

Pony: You shouldnt read this. Next

Steve: Can me and Soda date?

Pony: You already are. Next

Soda: Can me and Steve not date?

Pony: Too late. You know you love him. Next

Dally: You're going to make my character really deep, arent you?

Pony: Possibly. Havent decided yet. Anything else?

Johnny: Is Dally as hot in the book as he really is?

Pony: I'll no longer be taking questions because I'm extremely uncomfortable, but on second thought, you might really like this book

--

Two-Bit, upon walking in on Steve and Soda cuddling: I leave for FIVE minutes and i'm left out of fucking everything. all the fucking time. i hate everyone in this house

Steve: Do you want to lay with us?

Soda: Yeah, come lay with us

Two-Bit, practically dropping himself on them: I'm still mad at you

--

Dally: For some reason Ponyboy is really obsessed with the idea of me being really soft inside and just not showing it so I dont get hurt. I think he wants me to be narrative foils with our other friend too

Dally: How do i tell him i'd change the narrative doom him if i could and feel no remorse without crushing that hope in him

--

Pony: I like to think its a secret but me and everyone around me knows im writing a slowburn, hes only soft to him trope, slight enemies to lovers fanfiction about Johnny and Dally in my head

Dally: the term fanfiction implies i have fans

Johnny: i'm a fan of you

Pony, whispering: they practically write it themselves

--

Dally: Here, i stole this. dont ask questions, just take it

Darry, taking the sleeping pigeon that Dally just handed him with a mildly horrified expression: where did you get this?

Dally: i told you i'd bring back souvenirs from my field trip. no more questions

--

Johnny: Not many people like me.

Johnny: its probably because im kind of a pussy, but i like to tell myself its because i'm annoying because at least then im not calling myself a pussy

Dally: Wait, wait. Who doesnt like you?

Johnny: Huh? Why does it matter?

Dally: No reason. Just, like, give me an example

Pony, in the kitchen and hears all of this: *puts the knives in the cabinet where Dally wont look for them* I dont really want to have to bail anyone out again

--

Soda, to Darry: I think Steve is kind of in love with me, but I really dont want to have to break it to him that I dont feel the same

Steve, with Soda in his lap: *stops playing with Sodas hair* What?

Soda: Nothing, baby, you're fine

Darry: I will never understand you

--

yes, one of my friends did bring a live pigeon back from a field trip. it slept a lot, and we'd hold him all the time while he slept and he'd stay asleep when we passed him around because we had to move. i hope he wasnt sick and is doing okay

[paingoes]

Destroyer VIII

(Masterlist)

(Part VII)

(Content: fainting, nausea, overexertion, alcohol, crying) 

Tags: @catnykit @indigoviolet311 @snakebites-and-ink

dont tell the others, but this is my favorite chapter by far

==================

Things were ramping up quickly. The missions now came almost back to back, the temporal limitations of space the only obstacle to their continuity. Delta was out in the field at least once a week. Not every job was as dramatic as the deadly laser light show had been, but they were hitting critical targets for the Empire. After the display at the mech site, money suddenly flowed in. Life aboard the Thorn grew a bit more bearable for the soldiers, now getting reacquainted with the affluence that followed the Empire. Simon had been given better tech to train with and was putting it to good use. Delta snapped the heads off of the dummies without a second thought, perhaps dangerously overtrained in his responsiveness. All the excitement was getting to him. He clenched his fist to destroy the next test-dummy and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor.

“Alright, that’s enough for today,” Simon tilted him onto his side, in recovery position. Delta winced as the shock wore off, a dull headache replacing it. Once his head had stopped spinning uncontrollably, he carefully sat up, trying not to vomit from the exertion. Simon sat cross-legged beside him, offering him a juicebox and some crackers. Anything heavier would’ve just added to the nausea.

“How are you feeling, champ?” Simon asked, nudging the juice closer to him, “Feels like we’ve hardly had time to talk recently.”

“I’m okay, sir,” Delta murmured. His head was between his knees, waiting for the rest of the vertigo to drop off, “It doesn’t hurt.”

“Yeah, but with all the changes, y’know. I wanted to check in on you,” Simon leaned in, trying to study his expression, “Emotionally, I mean. See if you were adjusting okay.”

“I’m stable,” Delta said. This was always the answer that got doctors to leave him alone. They’d pry, sometimes, trying to get a more detailed picture of his mental state. It was all just to evaluate his fitness. He would never give them reason to doubt it. He was stable - and you didn’t have to worry about him breaking down or going postal or anything like that.

Simon looked disappointed. He pulled his bag closer, retrieving a medium-sized paperback from it. The cover was a deep red. He offered it to Delta, who immediately began to flip through it.

“It’s a treatise on empire and succession. I know it’s not what you’re usually into, but it seemed relevant, with all that’s going on right now. I thought you might appreciate it,” Simon shrugged, “I have more once you’re finished with that one. I know you read fast.”

“Thank you, sir,” Delta said softly, placing the book beside him. His eyes flitted up, sensing movement from the balcony. A few people had entered, he didn’t know how long ago. They were watching him. Simon noticed too, a tired grin appearing on his face.

“Just some seniors. Probably want to see what all the fuss is about. Finish your meal, kid. We’re not giving free shows.” Simon patted him on the back. Delta flinched at the touch, then felt ashamed at having done so. He sipped at the juicebox pensively.

============

Delta waited outside of Paris’s door. It’d been a minute with no response, but he heard motion inside. He lightly rapped his knuckles against the steel door, stepping back just in case. 

This time, Paris opened it immediately. “The fuck do you want?” 

There were other people in the room with him, talking loudly amongst themselves, laughing.

“You said-“

Paris didn’t even wait for him to finish, “I’m busy. Take the day off.”

The door slammed shut in his face. 

============

This was fine, really. It gave Delta a chance to rest, catch up on the books he’d been reading. But he found himself strangely restless, wanting to pace along the floors of the ship. It was so much busier than it had been a few weeks ago. When he stepped into the central hub, a wave of déjà vu washed over him. There were the Emperor’s old generals and commanders, each of them orbited by their respective factions. He hadn’t seen most of them since his childhood. He was surprised Paris had even allowed them onboard. 

Delta was content to observe from the shadows. Most people went out of their way to avoid him, but with his hair tied up and baggy clothing on, he was not so immediately recognizable. He hovered close to the group that belonged to the General Nezu. Though he wasn’t present himself, Delta recognized many of the staff’s faces. Nezu had worked particularly close with the Emperor, especially towards the end. His people had been spread out across several tables, but as their lunchtime drew nearer, they began to disperse. They localized closer and closer to the leftmost exit of the workspace. Delta noticed the laptop left unguarded.

He didn’t know why he did it. He’d never considered himself particularly sneaky, but then again, he’d never really been given the opportunity. With nobody looking, he used a soft aura of telekinetic energy to slide the laptop off the desk and into his hands. He hid it on the inside of his hoodie, then walked silently and swiftly back to his room. He propped up his chair in front of the door so that it couldn’t be opened from the outside. He put out a little pulse, searching for hidden cameras, making sure none had been installed since the last time he checked. Nothing. He knelt down beside the bed and opened the laptop hinges up, just a little bit, enough to tape up the front camera. Then he opened it up completely. 

It hadn’t autolocked in the time it took to reach his room, thank god. The first thing he did was to disable the passcode lock. He’d never been able to use a personal computer before, but Simon had shown him how it worked when he was curious. He’d even given him books on it. Delta sat up abruptly, moving over to his desk. There was a small flash drive in the bottom drawer. He had nabbed it a few weeks ago, but he hadn’t been able to see what was on it until now. He took the compsci textbook out of its pile, sending the others in it crashing to the ground. He startled at the noise, but rushed back to the laptop to finish the mission. He slammed the drive into the USB port, but it didn’t enter. He flipped it over, trying the other side. Still nothing. He flipped it a final time and it slid in smoothly.

The flash drive itself was mostly empty. There were a few folders he would check out later, but for now, he was focused on copying everything the laptop had onto it. It gave him an estimate of 45 minutes. While he waited, he looked through the windows already opened on the screen. One of them was the Empire portal. Another, the site of one of their ship venders. The last was an email inbox with a financial spreadsheet pulled up. Delta ripped out one of the blank pages from the textbook, jotting down the username and passwords of the websites that were open. He saved the email and the password. Then, he clicked around on the browser, searching for other websites with info he could scrape up. But he didn’t know how to navigate the browser intuitively and began to get scared of triggering some alarm. He looked anxiously at the countdown, waiting for the rest of the files to load. 

Delta ejected the drive, taking a deep breath. He hid it back in the drawer, then turned the laptop off. He flipped it over, feeling the device with his hands, letting his powers give him a sense of the small mechanisms inside of it. He was now glad for the precision practice; it let him swiftly unscrew the bottom of it and begin to disassemble the computer’s guts, searching it over for any signs of a location tracker. When he found none, he gave a sigh of relief, disconnecting the laptop’s battery. He stored them separately, hiding them in a bag beneath his mattress. Then he sat on the mattress, innocently, trying to look calm. It was enough for one day. His hands were shaking too bad to even type, he wasn’t going to push it anymore. He took the book Simon had given him, rolling onto his side to read it.

============

It was well past dinner time when he finally looked up, remembering where he was. Though he wanted to stay in his room, he figured he should probably go eat something before tomorrow. They sprang missions on him all the time now and they were a lot more miserable if he was undereating the day of. He removed the chair from the door, slipping out into the hall.

He was just outside of the kitchen when he heard a soft sobbing. He did a double take, looking down the hall. In one of the offshoot corridors, all the way down by the end, a figure was collapsed against the wall and crying into their hands. With a start, Delta realized it was Paris. He was piss drunk. 

Delta kept walking. The institute he’d grown up in had nurtured certain traits in its students, and empathy was not among them. Nor was excessive emotionality valued in the empire. He filled up his bag with fruit and granola bars, ready to hide out in his room the rest of the night. But as he exited and saw Paris quiet, now toppled over, he felt a small twinge of concern. He hesitated, weighing over the options in his head. Nobody would know if he left, least of all Paris. He wouldn’t even remember any of this in the morning. But it wouldn’t do good to have the prince passed out defenseless, on a ship swarming with his enemies. Delta rolled his eyes, readjusting the bag on his shoulder before heading down the hall. 

“Your Highness?” Delta bent down beside the still form, prodding him gently, “Paris?”

Paris groaned. His face was puffy with a drunken blush. Tear tracks were still visible. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

“Leave me alone,” he whined.

“Alright,” Delta stood up.

“Waitno. Please,” Paris said, his speech slurring. He sounded so sad. “Mm sorry. Don’t go.”

He reached a hand out to grasp Delta’s sleeve, but it wasn’t demanding. It was pleading. He looked like he was going to cry again. Delta gently removed his hand.

“C’mon. Stand up,” he offered both hands to Paris, who took them cautiously. Paris stood up shakily. He was both taller and heavier than Delta - and much stronger, even when he wasn’t trying to be. Delta nearly fell over as Paris leaned on him.

“Wherewe going?” He mumbled.

“Bed,” Delta told him. Paris let out a small giggle, before remembering how miserable he was.

“They fucking left meee,” Paris’s voice was both high and raspy. Delta walked him down the hall. He took him into the elevator, confident they would not make it up the stairs. Delta shushed him, which did not work.

“They’re all juss snakes and vipers. They don’t have feeeeelings. None of em care.” His voice was weepy and without venom. “Nobody care. How am I supposed to save this? Is ruined. I can’t.”

The elevator door dinged open. Delta half-pushed, half-carried him out. Paris took the wall for support, which was a great help. They managed to stumble down the remaining length of the hallway until they’d arrived at Paris’s room. Delta had to scan the keycard for him; he was looking at it like he didn’t know what it was. Delta fumbled for the lightswitch, throwing Paris off in the general direction of the bed. Delta shut the door, looking around the room. It was totally trashed, even worse than usual. Bottles laid everywhere, as well as various loose articles of clothing, makeup and face paint. He pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing he’d be the one to clean it up in the morning. Paris was crumpled up on the bed, still fully dressed. 

“Do you want to take your shoes off?” Delta asked him, keeping a considerable distance. Paris kicked them off with real signs of struggle, even worse when he had to remove his jacket. With a sigh, Delta unbuttoned the front for him, peeling it off his shoulders. He was slick with sweat and grime. Not seeming to care, Paris collapsed back down on the bed, at least this time managing to get his head on the pillow. Delta moved to bring him a glass of water from the bathroom sink.

“Thank you,” Paris said sweetly as he placed the glass down on the nightstand.

“Don’t mention it,” Delta rolled his eyes. He jumped when Paris reached for his wrist.

“Stay?” Paris begged, “Please stay.” 

Delta wrenched his wrist away. “Absolutely not. You’ll beat the shit out of me if I’m still here in the morning.”

“Nuh I won’t,” Paris promised, “Please stay.”

“Goodnight, Your Highness,” Delta backed out the door, flipping the light off.

(Part IX)