#at least he got a hug out of all this
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i want us both to eat well
#more g4g art !#he tries So fucking hard for jl . so hard#i dont know if there are many moments of reprieve during jl’s childhood but i think#he thinks of what his sister did for him and his brother and he copies that . slowly slowly like hes worried he’ll mess up#and i think he hums jl to sleep and then bawls his eyes out every night#i thought a lot about how young he was post war pre canon#when i was drawing this#and i think . hes such a good parent#i think jl looks back at his childhood and thinks that he was happy . that jc made sure he was happy#and he only realises later that when jc was so silent and stared into space before baby jl ran up to him and jc smiled#small but a smile#that he was struggling so bad . but he tried so hard to keep jl happy#and i think jl goes up and sits with him quietly now because at least if his brother doesnt want to come home to hug him jl can#hug him just as tight#so what if theyre a family of two theyve got each other#ough . they make me all weepy and miserable#UMMM DETAILS the ribbons on the tree jcs eyebags and black nail polish#ok the end💥#allcheng gotcha for gaza#art tag#mdzs#jiang cheng#jin ling#jin ling and his jiujiu#mxtx#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#cql#the untamed#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ; - ;
This is so good!!!! I didn’t expect it to be this long- and with fancy line breaks, even!!! waaaa thank you!!! <3 This is amazing!
Gift "Drabble"
For @hiding-in-the-vault
TW: Prison Arc + Post Prison, references to torture and eye removal
Summary: Eventually, Dream found a cave and hunkered down. He didn’t dare making a fire pit, didn’t know whether he could, but it would surely reveal his position. Instead he curled up in the warmest, most wind-safe spot he could find – and slept.
Or
Dream doesn't escape unscathed – mentally or physically.
The red stone pistons fired, the deep grumble distinctive from the ever present hissing of the lava. Dream didn’t dare lift his head or move his cheeks from the grimy, sticky floor of his cell.
Rule number whatever: Either be on your knees head bowed, or you better not have moved from the position Sir left you in.
Was Dream slightly bitter that even thinking Sir immediately called up an image of Quackity and tides of fear and anger? Yes. Would he show that bitterness? No. (Maybe Quackity would think he’d finally broken Dream but he hadn’t. Dream wasn’t quite broken yet, just brittle and fractured. If – when he got out, he’d just pour gold into all those cracks.)
Faintly, Dream heard it – the rustle of small feathers that could be crushed so very easily, the tapping of fingers against the wooden handle of a tool or weapon and a slight hum, the hum of a song Sap had loved. The lava curtains gurgled – please, red stone, fail, a moment of weakness gave itself a voice – before it fizzled out.
Sir bounced into the cell.
“Hullo, Dreamie, how are you? Comfy?”
Dream knew better than to answer. Quackity didn’t care, he just loved the sound of his voice too much. If Dream was lucky, Quackity would gloat, maybe kick Dream a couple of times and leave. That, Dream could endure, he could endure anything, anything but –
Fingertips stroked along the curve of Dream’s face, the one not pressed against crying obsidian and sticky maroon, and it was only the terrors of existence that prevented Dream from flinching. But nothing could have prevented Dream’s throat from releasing a whine when Quackity gently carded through Dream’s hair, almost petting him like a beloved dog.
“Awww, you’re doing good but being greedy, I see.”
Fuck you. Fuck you, Quackity, Dream thought as his head leaned into the comforting touch Sir was offering. It was his body seeking comfort, not Dream. It was his body being pathetic, wanting his torturer to be gentle. It was his body. Not Dream.
“You can be cute. But that’s not why I’m here, not today, puppy!” Don’t call me that. “I’m giving you a gift, look –“
Quackity burst out in little giggles, giggles Sapnap used to gush about. Sapnap had called them more adorable than a baby piglin. Dream had teased him about that, by that time already missing George pressed against his side and joining in on the fun. Teasing his brother had always been one of Dream’s favorite things and George loved to needle Sapnap, too.
A sharp of burst ripped through Dream’s skull as Quackity’s hand grabbed his hair tightly and pulled Dream up until Dream’s scalp was burning. “Listen to me.”
“Yes, Sir.” Two, three seconds more and Quackity let Dream’s head fall, huffing.
“And here I was about to clean you up, wash you, but no. You had to be bad. A bad puppy.” Dream flinched and Quackity’s laugh was more than delighted, echoing between obsidian walls. “Anyway, here you go, you’re going to need this.”
Something cold settled on Dream’s face and – comfort washed over Dream as he realized it was the cold porcelain of a mask, a mask Dream knew quite well. Greedily he sucked in some air and through the stale scent of copper coils and bracken water and burnt out embers, he caught a whiff of earthy flowers.
(��Earthy flowers? Are you serious?” Dream had laughed, pressing his shoulders against Sapnap’s. George had already been snoring, his legs hanging over Sapnap’s lap and his head nuzzling Dream’s stomach.
“Man, you asked me how you were smelling. Earthy flowers. Deal with it, it’s sort of disgusting.” But the tips of Sapnap’s ears had been a brilliant red.
“Someone’s lying~ But that’s ok. I like your hearth embers and George’s bark and petrichor, too.”
“Pe – tri – chor,” Sapnap had mocked. Yet he had relaxed into Dream and – they had slept, together and bonds untorn.)
It was Dream’s mask, not a replica, but his own.
Despite this meaning nothing good, Dream sank into old comfort. The safe feeling was soured by Quackity once again running his hands through Dream’s hair. “Things are going to get exciting,” he crowed, no, that’d be an insult to the death goddess and her harbringers, Quackity quacked. “Better to keep a few things mysterious, right? I’ll be generous and let you rest up.”
Dream didn’t know what Quackity meant until the next day when the pistons fired up and someone swaggered over the bridge. The bars slammed down, Techno grunted as he sprung the trap and it clicked in Dream’s mind.
Time passed.
Sir didn’t enter the prison.
How Techno didn’t realize one tiny but largely important fact was beyond Dream but he couldn’t help being grateful.
How Dream managed to escape with Technoblade was also beyond him.
(Sir had managed to shatter Dream – after Technoblade vanished. Sir had not only dug into all the cracks he’d made but also ensured that not even respawning would ever give back Dream’s sight. There had been a slight, incredibly miniscule chance that Dream could have regained his eye sight but… hard to do that without the vital part of eye sight.
Sir had left Dream cold and raw and – there had been moments.
Dream had even hallucinated at one point, must have imagined trembling hands cleaning him up, a lullaby he hadn’t heard since he was ten being sobbed against his ears and a determined vow being seared against his temple. The voice had sounded like Bad, but Bad hated him, guarded him even, offered suggestions like Dream’s loathing of being alone in the dark to Sir. )
“I refuse. You have done more than enough, he can look after himself now.” The coldness in Philza’s screech was more than biting, was cutting when Technoblade didn’t refute his statement.
Once again Dream’s weakness took over and he wasted a minute on hope, begged Technoblade without the right words or gestures but surely, surely Technoblade picked up on it – “See ya later, nerd, stay safe.”
I’m not seeing anything, settled heavy on Dream’s tongue but – Philza was there, feathers scraping against wooden planks. He must be flaring his wings before refolding them. Rinse and repeat.
It wasn’t pride stopping Dream from saying those words. It was Caution. Philza already was irritated with Dream – Dream, objectively, had harmed the man’s family greatly and in various ways. And in an altercation, there was no world in which Technoblade wouldn’t side with Philza.
So Dream bowed, once, the proper Admin way, and darted off into the forest, barely hearing a sudden intake of breath behind him, probably Philza’s. Technoblade wasn’t an Admin, he wouldn’t have known what Dream’s bow had meant.
They didn’t chase after him, anyways.
That first night Dream almost died five times.
The server refused to reconnect to him – a weak Admin was something no World wanted, vulnerability was undesired – and so Dream had to trust his ears and nose, rather than an innate sense of the World.
Twice the rattling of Skeleton bones was barely enough to get ready for the screeching of arrows flying through the air and aiming directly at Dream’s heart. Muscle memory was, thankfully, enough for Dream to land crits against the Skeletons, even though his own frame didn’t differ much from the Skeletons.
Once a zombie almost ripped into Dream’s leg and would have infected him. Dream was already on the ground, having tripped over a root and landing on a patch of ice that sent him careening through the snow. He’d been contemplating just curling up and sleeping when the zombie fell over him. A kick and crit had taken care of the zombie.
Twice, the environment itself, the World – hadn’t that smarted – had turned against him, giving him no warnings as ravines opened up in front of him. Only hearing the echo of stones crumbling and falling, falling, falling before the unbreakable hit the bottom and shattered into a thousand pieces not even gold could glue back together had warned him.
Eventually, Dream found a cave and hunkered down. He didn’t dare making a fire pit, didn’t know whether he could, but it would surely reveal his position. Instead he curled up in the warmest, most wind-safe spot he could find – and slept.
That first night ended and his first day in freedom dawned – judging from the birdsong sneaking through the tree leaves and into Dream’s cave.
Dream didn’t have the energy to stand up.
More hallucinations haunted his sleep – if it was sleep. His body felt too heavy, his thoughts too hazy for him to be sleeping but – at one point, the hallucination of Bad took root in his mind. Dream heard Bad coo, felt Bad heave him into a bed that Dream certainly hadn’t made, cried while Bad tucked him and drew covers tight around him.
“Sleep tight, good dreams will arrive, cupcake,” the hallucination’s voice quivered as rough, scarred fingers slipped underneath Dream’s mask and tugged it off. The hallucination wanted to card through Dream’s hair and it did, detangling the knots, casting Dream’s drifty mind back to the days of happiness and – “Shh, Clay. I’ll protect you, don’t worry.”
Dream wailed, his throat giving out on him. All the while, the hallucination kept touching him, gently, like Bad loved him, like Bad was here, like Bad cared.
(Love and care were two different shoes. Surely, Sapnap and George still loved Dream but they had shown that they didn’t care for him.)
(Dream was forgetting something. Or someone. Heat was lancing through his brain, pain a deliberating force on everything that was him. How his mind still had enough force to call upon a hallucination with the ability to mimic the sensation of touch he didn’t know. But there was someone else, an agenda, Dream was forgetting.)
(Clay hated getting sick, not only because he couldn’t play with Pandas but because he couldn’t help demanding attention. To be fair, Bad would always give it to him.
“I’m dying,” Clay sobbed, writhing against the covers Bad had forced him under. “It’s too hot, it hurts, I am dying!”
“Shh, you silly, silly cupcake.” Bad chuckled, gently stroking over Clay’s head. Those fingers were so good, they spanned half his head and… Bad was starting to mindlessly but gently tug at all of Clay’s knots, tutting whenever another appeared in the long locks of Clay’s hair. “You’ll be ok, I’m here.”
Whenever Bad acted like this, Clay could pretend that Bad wasn’t only Pandas’ Dad but also his own, and fierce, fierce love wrecked Clay’s body together with the many illnesses he suffered.
One day, one day Clay would create a server for them, for Bad and Pandas and himself and anyone else he loved. He knew he was strong enough, as were his convictions and dreams.)
Energy trickled back into Dream, day by day. The hallucination stayed, far longer than Dream expected it to, offering comfort and safety and the weakness was too strong. Dream, shamefully, gave in.
Until one day the rustle of wings, the wind whistling through feathers just outside his and his hallucination’s cave broke the spell.
“Mate?”
Not Sir, not Sir at all but –
“Get out.” His hallucination growled and the air pulsed with heat and old power – and there was no way that Dream’s stitched together mind could have replicate Bad’s aura when he was pissed and protecting someone. (Someone, not something, an important distinction.)
“Bad Boy Halo, I –“
“Leave before I make you leave. You offered no help, worse, you rejected sanctuary.”
“I didn’t know.”
Bad snorted and responded. Philza said words as well but – Dream had already lost the thread, his mind fuzzy with realizations and too full, too broken to comprehend anything. Until –
“Had I known he was blind and a baby Admin, he wouldn’t have left my house!” Feathers hit the stone walls. Or did feathers scrape along obsidian, crying in sync with the dripping walls? Sir was back, wasn’t he –
Scarred hands cradled Dream’s cheeks and a pair of leathery wings sneaked around and under Dream’s frame. The hands didn’t move. They just held his face and provided an anchor for his mind.
“Bad…” How to say the things he had to say, how to ask questions, how –
Dream’s head is pressed to a dark throat and his breath hitched. Too often Dream had been in this position whenever the world got too big, or he got too big for the world and it bared its fangs at him. Being settled against the thrum of Bad’s heart hadn’t rightened all the wrongs in the world but it had always – always – made them manageable.
“I’m here, Dream. Don’t you worry.”
Dream believed him and let himself fall into trust.
One more time.
#WAAAAA#fic#faves#baby admin hehe#dreamie my dreamie#hes SAADD#and now im sad!!!!#but also happy because i got a fic :DDDD#ouughh poor Bad hes trying#<3 <3 <3 <3#angry dad!!!#at least he got a hug out of all this#the flashback part still makes me ssooo ssaaadddd#aaaaaaaaa#he can put himself back together I BELIEVE#*cries*
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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Let him dad her!! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Fionna Campbell#Simon Petrikov#I cannot BeLieve that they didn't hug at any point - illegal. One million years dungeon#She slapped him (deservedly) but they didn't hug by the end??? I had to fix it#Jerry is my favourite episode so that at least was an easy choice lol#If anywhere would be a good place to cross that line it would be to comfort her! I can't imagine he'd initiate tho haha#She's just seeking comfort so badly <3 I know she's at least legally considered an adult but she's still a kid!#And Simon just keeps adopting kids lol#He's a good dad :) Not a perfect one but y'know? He helps where he can#Sometimes all we need is a parent figure giving you a hug and saying ''You know what? You're right - this sucks. But I see you''#Fionna's quite interesting 'cause like - she's meant to be a Finn but there are a lot of differences between her and quite a few Finns!#A lot of that is Because she lived in Simon's head for so long but I wonder - most Finns have decent support systems and she seems a little#Well not lacking Exactly but her fallbacks aren't as numerous - and she's not able to fulfill her life's purpose so she's just kinda wayward#Seeing that kind of Finn finally able to spread their wings but still have a lot of Finn trappings like naivety and impulsivity ♪#She's interesting! I quite like her :D Plus it's cool to see her natural EQ when she calls out Simon later in this episode unknowingly haha#I stopped at episode eight for a while but year her line about ''Then you got on the bus right? :D'' and him refuting it#Hmmm ♪ It was certainly interesting - I'm glad they addressed it :)#Plus she's fun to draw haha ♫ Her bunny ears! And the jacket she took from Martin </3 She has a fun design#And as always Simon is fun to draw :) Especially piecemeal here haha - just his mouth or just his eyes ♪ Cute :)
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“I’ll be disqualified!”
#these aren’t the best but#:((((((#How he apologized😭#My son#Is that chest hair?#His lips are so plush#We didn’t get to see the others feelings about the situation much#But at the very least Bobby and Johnny should have ran out holding hands idc#I wish they all got away quicker#bobby brown#the karate kid#I love them sm#And Bobby deserves to have his red riding leader as much as Daniel deserves Johnny#let him make out with him sat on his bike with those nice lips. Better yet let him get a hug and smooch from all the Cobras#ot5 bc I know they got an apartment all together in another universe and they understand each other and nothing hurts
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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Saejima and majima are so guys that walk around the city for hours and then ask okay where are we going / idk i was following you / but i was following you
#Yakuza loveblog#their desire to hang out transcends common sense. thats my belief#i think that two guys who got separated for a long time and thought of each other daily deserve to be permanently reunited#oh i just looked it up and saejima has no karaoke songs. he songs baka mitai and machine gun kiss#thats kiryus songs. why are they the same person#kiryu and saejima will just be equally matched in strength and have the same music taste. like whats up with that#majima loves guys who can sneeze whilw hugging him and break his spine#do you think its a bit crazy that saejima has such a relationship with majima that he took like five seconds to be upset that majima died an#then was like okay whatever he deserved it. and then went on a hunt for majimas killer to find out his last words#and when kiryu heard that majima died he got mega pissed off and needed to punch something and possibly scream as loud and long as possible#at least thats how i saw the car honking scene he was punching the honk and yelling because he was fucked up over it. then he just ent home#im so fucking redundant btw i have literally said all this before. i just adore the thought of majima coming home to these two ns theyre#discussing things like. sports and. workout routines and hes like oh god theyre the same
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okay so i am once again in a bit of a pickle due to the fact that i never learn from my mistakes :)
#there's this guy at work that i kind of fancy right?#not the guy from a couple of years ago this is another one and tbh i like him way more like we really vibe#and a couple of months ago we kind of started flirting as a joke? like at first it wasn't even flirting we just paid each other compliments#but it. kind of got out of hand? like now we're DEFINITELY flirting and we hug every time we see each other and so on#and like today he kind of asked me out?? like he asked when we're gonna go out and i generically said whenever he wants so uhhh#i bought some time but also i basically said yes OOPS#like ive been thinking i need to chill and slow this down until i figure it out but then i apparently can't stop running my fucking mouthhhh#the thing is. before the summer i did this whole thing to kind of reconnect w my ex#and things seemed to kind of work even though we didn't get together and also she's gonna be out of town for at least another year#but it's not like i have any certainty that when she comes back we're gonna get back together or anything#it's just. she's the love of my life and half the time i think there's no point in dating other people#and then the other half i think i really need to get over it#but the thing is i really care about this guy. i don't want to end up hurting him at all which is probably gonna happen if i keep doing this#I ALWAYS DO THISSSSSS#I ALWAYS JOKINGLY FLIRT W PEOPLE AND THEN IT GETS REAL AND IM OH SHIT NVM DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT
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the sheer number of incredibly intricate worlds and characters that i have created with people who i am no longer friends with so that i can no longer talk about those characters or use those settings. i only got half the dog in the divorce do you know what i mean
#i have all these characters but they're missing their FRIENDS and their ORIGINAL CIRCUMSTANCES#people will never understand roleplay with original settings and original characters.#imagine if you played dnd purely by talking about the characters and their relationships with each other and their themes and motifs#and did all the little roleplay scenarios but wrote about it. and then made a bunch of supplementary material for your characters.#and then like. instead of one character you've got like three of them and they're all Part of this collaborative world#mourning the group of like. dkjfghs. nine friends from a fantasy world. i only have claim to like three of them#the rest... again. only half the dog#i WILL use prydwen elsewhere. because i'm in love with him and that's important in a character. he's literally my silly rabbit#but GOD i want to get my fucking hands on people's intellectual property sometimes#i was the ONLY one doing cool shit with the fantasy sci-fi world this one person created and i WANT to do more with it!!!#and like. how am i supposed to use zephyr without stealing the incredibly specific circumstances that they were created out of#anyway. frustrating. at least i have prydwen. hugging him like a teddy bear#yeah girl i have ocs except i don't talk about them on tumblr i'm in my little roleplay servers that i created the ocs for dskfgh#honestly i have probably talked about faedren more than any actual character of mine from like. Writing.#also my fault for not having any actual wips. long form or even short form fiction is not my strong suit nothing rlly sticks#WHATEVER. feel like shit just want her back (all of the characters that are inextricably intertwined with someone else)#valentine notes
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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i needed that episode to last at least five hours longer wtf i can't process anything
#911 fox#i'm having a terrible‚ terrible feeling about that buckley han storyline#the buckley parents are on their best behaviour and for what? to be bitches later? all the forced politeness is getting on my nerves#the tension between chim and albert... it's very fascinating but also i'm in pain#i want it to continue for like 6 more episodes and also i want them to hug it out immediately#also bobby is in a worse place mentally than i expected i thought he'd be bad but he's really really bad#at least we had that very sweet moment bw him and buck#buck thinking about what it'd be like with daniel i'm🥺#also i was so upset when margaret brought up buck being a miracle baby like no no you do not get to do that. you do not#oh and finally the long awaited lightning strike#i thought eddie would pass out but like he barely got a scratch lol he's good enough to drive?! oh he's gonna violate so many traffic rules#but also. him screaming buck buck buck again and again i was shook. i mean poor man#chim so aggressively working buck's heart to restart it i'm🥺#also yeah he's in full cardiac arrest?! like shit?! i do get that they were hurried and worried but i wish they'd taken a moment to linger#on everyone's reactions to his heart just straight up stopping#aahhhh and that last shot. his helmet just lying there. it's fine i'm completely fine🥲
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By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pyramid Head#The Captain#Blood#The cuts themselves are just black and white because I'm controlling myself lol - clearly not That much with the rest but hey!#Still it is a very nasty cut for how nonchalantly I've drawn them all haha - ZEX's back too he's just facing forward#I also momentarily forgot that he was in his uniform it's fine don't worry about it lol#All these speculations on where and how about the injuries and then just - What Uniform That I Am Enamoured By? Haha#I've done the same thing with DAX I keep forgetting about his poor ankle and then it comes up and I'm like ''Oh yeah haha I knew that''#How are some details so sticky and others so smoke-like! Some stay in my brain and others - pffbtl how silly#All the same it's still the Funnest Fun <3#There's something so Extra delightful to have Seen a setpiece - an object - an idea - and then get to interact with it <3 <3#Hitting Pyramid Head with Zelnick's frying pan! Forget PH I can't believe we had the budget for the skillet's appearance fee ♪♫ Hehehe#No but honestly Pyramid Head was incredible ✨ Wonderfully scary and distressing and tense and full of fallout! Terrible things!! ♪♫#I've never drawn him before so it was interesting! :0 His appearance in SH2 looks all squished#Like his belly is jutting out across from a broken spine! Quite spooky#I don't think I fully managed to capture that - kinda just looks like his hip bones are very prominent hehe - but maybe some other time :)#I hope they don't run into him again - for their sake tho haha ♪#DAX continually pulling ZEX behind him to try and protect him (and failing) was something I really Had to put to paper <3#As well as snuggles!! Even before they got Really hurt I was like Oh everyone needs hugs so bad :'0 And they do!! They need so many hugs!#Maybe especially Zelnick poor Captain :'0 Give this boy a break#The injuries are more of a self-guide hehe I'm not sure how accurate they are - they Feel accurate based on handedness et al#I was the least sure for Zelnick since he got tossed (poor thing!) but at least bruises are always fun to draw hehe#The return of my rainbow bruises lol - I only use three colours they're just so vibrant!#DAX trying so~ hard not to be taken in hehe what could these feelings be! Familiarly repressed? No surely not ♪#Be nice ♫
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actually i have discovered the only true and correct reading of md/zs: wgxn are the true Evil Men of mdzs. just look at how they’re dealing with lxc post-guanyin
#'how' = not at all.#it's almost unbelievable how little wwx cares about lxc now that the whole case is over#it's just a fun puzzle for him to solve which isn't necessarily a criticism of him as a character because boy howdy do i Know that he's not#some kinda bleeding heart. but he just... basically explains everything at the end like a triumphant detective in a classic mystery novel#and you have lxc. having JUST found out that jgy was Obviously provoked into violence and that the only reason he went to the temple#instead of making a beeline to the nearest port was to pick up his mother's remains. he's heartbroken and confused#and even the narration is almost cruel in its 'well if jgy's best friend doesn't know then how could the others know?' and then wwx goes#'welp! gotta call people and take care of this coffin mess i think!'#AND THEN wgxn just casually decide not to reveal the VITAL (for lxc) information about jgy to him. because it would make him look#sympathetic. just tell him if he asks lz! i'm soooo tired of this bullshit u_u#what is he supposed to ask about you soggy banana. 'hey didi is there something you didn't tell me about jgy?' like this? like this?#bastards BASTARDS i say. and then they go on to fuck in the bushes without hearing the boring and annoying gossip from the jianghu!#brother? ah forget him. wwx's butt won't fuck itself we've got a busy day ahead#hashtag wgxn hateposting i do what i want it's my blog#like. i understand Dignity and stuff and lwj probably couldn't and wasn't even the type to hug his brother in public and go 'there there'#but he doesn't. he doesn't do a thing. at all#the only thing he says to lxc is 'jgy's killing intent.' that's it. at least in cql he leads him out of the temple and#physically supports him. here? nothing. lxc is repeatedly described as 'not realizing what had happened' 'lost in thought' 'startled'#and even 'in normal circumstances zewu-jun would have immediately understood it'. he is Mentally Unwell. but that's his problem because#he liked the guy we decided was a villain. 😬#shut up shrimp#(i know the bushes of love didn't happen /immediately/ post-guanyin (imagine that though.) but they're fucking haunting me)
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Out of just random horrible happenstance, somewhere around the age of 35 my mother's brain just started. Dissolving. And it wasn't diagnosed until like 18 years later. She just died very young after going through years of tortuous dementia, that was just random fluke. Beforehand she had been a super active and fairly health-conscious, and was a literal genius.
Disability can happen to anyone. It will happen to everyone who lives long enough. Respect disabled people; which means respecting every random stranger, too, because you never know what someone is going through.
Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription
Me: My pills make me not want to die tho
They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal
Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills
#we were pretty lucky that pretty much everyone who met my mom in the last few years were super kind#she got super affectionate and would be happy to see literally anyone and want to give them a hug#and folks were almost always kind and would give her a hug and be real sweet#her and dad made a lot of friends just out and about#it was real hard for him when she died and he had to go so many places they frequented to tell them#I was there when he told our usual ihop waitress#she's such a wonderful lady and I felt so bad when she cried#when they met mom just. got all excited to see her and thiught she recognized her and wanted a hug and she was so super sweet about it#and treated my folks real sweet and became a good friend#anyway point is that a lot of people suck but also a lot of people are super awesome#cause honestly most folks get it#so at least there's that#mom's disease was the literal worst but I'm so grateful for the random folks that made her happy
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every day i wake up abd i see your yakuza posts and its like a daily occurrence
the sun is shining so nicely today :) and i open my phone is the furst thing i see is “i wish kiryu would let me suck him” abd i feel fulfilled
this blog is how i learned about yakuza and i want nothing more than to see it from you
You guys are literally so nice to me... every day i think to myself maybe i wont be so horny to spare my followers from the whorrors and then i open tumblr and immediately type some shit like i wanna strap metal bands to his ankles and deglove his legs with electricity and hit post without even thinking maybe i should give the keyboard a rest today ... i hope every day after this one is beautiful for you .... grins
#Thanks for the ask !#you got me down so well like yeah i do wish kiryu would let me suck him#but if he doesnt then ill just have to do it within a split second so that he doesnt notice#like a lightning strike on his groin. quick attack on his inner labia. one suck and i have his pants back up whistling innocently with my#hands tucked into my pockets and he regards me with suspicion before he unzips his pants to see and ive left him a small box of chocoates#and a love letter and he reads it with one hand while i hug his other arm and blink wetly at him like a seal and then he says sorry i just#dont feel the same way. and i say at least keep the chocolates ..? and he thinks for a moment before going no thank you#and he walks away and then when he rounds a corner he drops my beautiful handcrafted letter into the bin and the camera zooms in on it and#it just says any1 up? who wants 2 suck me#kiryu sees me around often and he approaches me one day like hey are you my new neighbour ? and i go im your stalker#i will catch sight of him coming down the street then i will start squealing and giggling and running back to my house to sift through my#belongings and bring a cinderblock out to the balcony so i can throw it directly at his head then call the ambulance so i can ride inside#with him and watch him concussed as hell with his eyes rolling in his head and i go it will be okay kiryu !!! and he goes mfrrgh#im crawling into the hospital bed with him so i can hug his arm and kiss his shoulder all day and he mumbles that he needs to go to the#toilet and i nod in understanding and kneel at the foot of the bed with my mouth open and he gets angry at me#how nice would kiryu be to hug he is so big and burly and so much space on his beautiful skin for kissing and bite marks. he lifts up his#hospital gown to piss and ive already dove between his legs and started sucking the goop straight out the cervical tap. im jumpscaring him#its like a majima everywhere event but instesd of fighting him i crawl out the sewer and attach my teeth to his ankles and dont let go no#matter how much he shouts at or kicks me because im giggling and so happy we are hanging out#i say all this but if i knew kiryu irl he would be my sweet baby boy who i would go out of my way to give massive discounts to (i work at#the m store and always throw in some free hair gel for him)
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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