#at least I'll be able to tell my stupid father 'I told you so' on my goddamn DEATH BED

[rosaren2498]

I hope every single one of you fuckers that refused to vote and/or voted 3rd party are happy. He's won. There is no 'wait for a few days' he's got fucking 3 until he wins. Congratulations, you fucked all of us. When we die choking on our own blood and they turn on you before our bodies even cool, I hope you'll finally fucking understand how badly you fucked up.

I hate all of you.

[softstarlite]

The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 2

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javier is 40 and reader is 27), talks of baby loss, talks of pregnancy, angst, cheating, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Rating: +18 (not explicit)

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

A/N: here you go guys!! Second chapter is up!! I'm feeling so much better from my stupid cold. I would like to keep a schedule with posting, my goal is to post at least one new chapter every week but I had a cornea transplant less than 5 months ago (I still have 14 stitches on my right eye) so sometimes I need to rest my eye from screen time or the pain sometimes gets too bad and I need to rest in general, so I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal every week, sorry in advance. I hope you guys like this new chapter!! <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

Javier wipes the sweat of his hands on the front of his jeans for the fourth time in the last hour since he started getting ready to go to Maria´s house, he looks at his reflection on the mirror, he can feel fear engulf his body, fear of disappointing Maria, he wasn't the same man he was when he left for Colombia. That day…

His mom, Alma, had been diagnosed with lung cancer four months before it happened, when Lorraine had told him that she was pregnant, he was shit scared, how could he be a father? He didn't know anything about being one, he was only 27, he assumed that he had at least 5 or 6 years more before even thinking about having a family of his own.

He didn't hesitate to get on one knee and proposed to Lorraine, part of him was happy that his mom would be able to meet at least one of her grandchildren; the doctors had already prepare them for the worst, the cancer was very aggressive, and even if his mom was still young, only 44, they had detected it very late.

The night before the wedding Lorraine showed up at his parents ranch, crying her heart out. They were sleeping in different houses since it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. He got really worried, he didn't believe in that tradition, she had been the one very keen in doing it so it was already rare that she had showed up there unannounced but even more that she showed up crying.

“Lor? What happened?” he had been sitting on the front porch when she appeared, he got up from his seat quickly and headed to her putting his hands on her cheeks “What is it Lor? Is the baby okay?” he asked her with so much worry in his voice.

Lorraine only kept saying sorry and shaking her head no again and again. “Please baby, tell me what is happening, are you hurt?” he pleaded her.

“I'm sorry Javi… I'm so sorry… There´s no baby…” she said, not able to meet his gaze.

“What? Baby…” he could feel tears in his eyes already, he thought that she had lost it, he never would've thought that she had done what she did. He tries to make her look at him ¡. “Baby…Lor, look at me. Baby it's not your fault, we need to take you-” he was interrupted by her.

“No, Javi… There's no baby, there never has been a baby…” she took a step away from him, feeling shame in what she had done.

“What? Lorraine, this is not funny… Stop it” that was the only possibility in his head, she must have been pranking him, she would never hurt him this way, she loved him, right?

“I'm so sorry Javi, baby…” she tried to reach for him now but he didn't say anything and just walked inside without a word.

The next morning no one could find Javier, until his mom saw a little note on the kitchen table where he had written that he had accepted the job with the DEA in Colombia that the rest could be explained by Lorraine.

You were only 14 when you were sat down by your mom and Alma and got the news about her sickness, that was your first heartbreak, but definitely not your last. You loved Alma like a second mother, she was there when you said your first words, she had been the one encouraging you when you took your first steps… You couldn't imagine a life and a world without her, without her smile or her kindness… No, it had to be a mistake, the doctors mixed up some papers and they gave her the diagnosis of someone else, she couldn't leave you…

When Javier left, you weren't given the real reason from the adults around you, they told you that he and Lorraine weren't together anymore and he had to go work in Colombia, that was it. Obviously, living in a place like Laredo you heard the truth very soon, and felt heartbroken all over again for him, as big as your crush for him was, when you saw how excited he was when he talked about anything related with the baby in the weekly dinners your families shared, it filled your heart to see him just happy, so you couldn't understand how Lorraine had been able to break him like that, she said that he loved him and wanted to spend her entire life with him but then do that? How can you be so cruel to someone that you supposedly love?

A year later from Javier´s move to Colombia, Alma passed away, you only remember crying for three days straight without even sleeping. You remember your mom telling you that “Javiercito is coming for the funeral, he'll be here tomorrow morning”, then the next thing you remember is been dressed in all black, that made you think that Alma would´ve hate it, then not been able to see the casket through the tears and the last thing you remember of that day was how Javier had put his arms around you, caressing your hair and telling you how much Alma loved you and that would never leave you. It never did, you could feel her love everyday, in little things like the chirping of the birds outside, the warm sun, the little desserts you would bake with her recipes, etc…

That was the last time you saw Javier, when you were 15 and crying for the biggest lost in your life.

He parks his truck on Maria´s driveway and gets out with a nervous sigh. After he knocks on the door twice, you open the door with a big smile, fuck, he thought you wouldn't be here. He didn't have a problem with you being here, on the contrary, he was very happy when he saw you the other day, it had been way too long without seeing you. But the problem was that you had grown up… And fuck, did the years had treat you amanzingly. You were a full on woman now, and he didn't like that, because it made his body feel things that it shouldn't. If Maria or his own father could read what had gone through his mind since he first saw you a few days ago, he would definitely be six feet under.

“Hey! You're here!” you say with that big smile on your face. He doesn't say anything, just nods and gives you a tight smile back.

“Come in!” you move a little to give him enough space to come inside. “Mom is still cooking what must be her twentieth dish” you chuckle. He slips inside but you hadn't anticipated how broad his shoulders were so he bumps one of his shoulders into you.

“Oh, sorry” he apologizes and you can't help but feel a million goosebumps all over your body. “She shouldn't have trouble herself…”

You shake the feeling away, you weren't a stupid teenager anymore. “yeah, tell that to her” you smirk knowing he would never dare.

He walks to the kitchen with you behind, he remembers the way as if no time has passed, as if he hadn't gone through more than a decade without putting a foot in this house. When he makes it past the arch of the kitchen, he sees your mom, her back facing him, he can see the grey conquering her whole hair. For a moment he can almost see his own mom beside her cutting some vegetables.

Seeing his silence, you decide to clear your throat to make your presence known to your mom. She turns around starting a sentence that sounds like a question about who was at the door, but as soon as she sees Javier there, before her, her mouth shuts and she freezes. Knowing they'll need a moment, you walk around them to the stove to continue to stir whatever dish your mom is making now, so it doesn't burn while they catch up.

“Javiercito!” she almost screams, launching herself into him, a hand on the back of his head and the other arm across his back.

“Maria…” is all that he can get out of his mouth, apart from the biggest breath out that he has ever let out. He didn't even know that he was holding that breath for so long.

“Déjame verte bien mijo (Let me get a good look at you, my son)” she pulls away from him and pushes him a little back by the shoulders, then looks him up and down like she was examining that he isn´t missing anything.

“Ma, esta bien, no le agobies (Mom, he's fine, don't bother him)” you say from the stove, not even looking at them.

“¿Bien? (fine?) Have you seen him? Está demasiado delgado, gracias a dios que prepare suficiente comida. Siéntate, mijo. (He's too skinny, thank god i´ve prepare enough food. Sit, my son) I'll bring you some food right away” She says, patting his cheek and signaling with a hand to the kitchen table, then she goes back to the stove and replaces the place you were filling.

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief. “Do you want something to drink, Javi?” you ask him while opening the fridge to get a beer for yourself.

He talks again after feeling overwhelmed by the situation. “Sure, whatever you´re having” with that you pull out another beer for him and after uncapping them, you hand him one. “Thanks” he says, not meeting your eye.

You sit across from him on the kitchen table and take a sip of your own beer. Your mom puts a bowl of Pozole in front of each of you, and while you eat, she and Javier talk about a million things, how things around the house had been since your dad died, how you and her go to Chucho´s every now and then, how you help Chucho everytime the fruit trees need harvesting (which brings a blush to your cheeks when Javi asks if that's right and looks at you), and of course your mom starts to let Javi know about all the gossip he has missed in Laredo, which by his face, he couldn't care less to be honest but i guess your mom didn't want to pick that up. He just nods and hums while eating, while your mom tells him about how the girl from the Gonzalez´s was seen in the local theater every week casually talking and giggling with the guy working there; after a bit something pricks his ears, specifically when your name is mentioned.

“And you wouldn't believe all the commotion that it caused , pff, nos tuvimos que quedar en casa varios días antes de que ella se atreviera a enseñar la cara (we had to stay at home for a few days before she was brave enough to show her face)” she says while picking up both of your bowls to bring to the sink. You don't know where to hide in that moment, you couldn't believe your mom was telling him about that.

“Ma…” you say, trying to make her drop the subject. She obviously doesn't want to catch your desperation.

“What? Sorry i was lost in my head for a moment” he says not realizing that you don't want the subject to be brought up.

“Ay mijo, te estaba diciendo (i was telling you) about how she used to go out with the Lopez´s boy, Diego, and she heard from Doña Lucía about him and a girl, that no one knew, been seen in Jacinto´s ice cream shop, then she decided to confront him that same day, but she instead saw him and the girl on the town square just there,” she makes a dramatic gesture with her hands like she was physically pointing at them right there. “just sitting on a bench, muy acaramelados los muy sinvergüenzas (very lovey-dovey, those scoundrels). Doña Lucía told me that she just took the lemonade in the girl's hand and threw it to him, allí delante de todos, ¿tu te crees, mijo? (in front of everybody, can you believe it, my son?)” she shakes her head in almost disappointment.

“Well, if I'm honest with you Maria. Creo que le hizo poco, yo le hubiese dado un buen puño” you can see how his hands become fists, and his jaw becomes more tense. Javi feels a fire inside of him that he hasn't felt since he left Colombia, he already knows that if he crosses paths with Diego Lopez, he won't be exactly kind towards him.”Wait, he cheated and you had to hide at home?!” he asks, now looking at you.

“I didn't hide, she did” you say pointing towards your mom, who's washing the dishes, with your head. “I was just going through a breakup like a normal person” you shrug your shoulders to try to take some weight off of the conversation.

He nods, understanding now the situation. “Good, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, it's his loss” he huffs “He must be as stupid as he was when he was a kid” he says more to himself than to you, it makes you blush again.

“Javier Jesús Peña!!” your mom scolds him from the sink, turning her head towards him. Javi for a moment feels like a teenager again, being scolded by Maria and his mom for saying a bad word in the kitchen of Pena´s ranch while they make empanadas.

“What? No podes defender al desgraciado, hizo daño a nuestra vampirita (you can't defend that bastard, he hurted our little vampire” he chuckles sincerely now. You gasp at the mention of your old childhood nickname he gave you for being obsessed with the book Dracula when you were 9 years old.

“You don't want to play that game, Peña” you challenge him, squinting your eyes at him, but a little smile in your lips betrays your facade. He laughs with his whole belly now, throwing his head back. You decide right then that you like seeing him laugh sincerely a lot.

After some hours of more delicious food and banter, Javier informs you that he needs to go back to the ranch before his dad comes looking for him for leaving him all day alone with the chores.

You walk him to the door, his arms full of mountains of tupperware full of leftovers that your mom had insisted him to take for himself and Chucho.

You open the door for him since he has his hands occupied, those hands that you´ve been stealing glances to all day, you wonder how rough they would feel around your own hand, around your neck, around your- “Thanks for um… everything” he says interrupting your thread of thoughts.

“Don't mention it” you give him a shy smile, like he could´ve read what you had been thinking. Next thing you know, your mouth is working by it´s own mind, you ask without thinking.”Are you going to the barbecue at Doña Lucia's house this Sunday after church?” when you realize how eager your voice sounds about the prospect of seeing him again in less than two days you add “I believe she invited Chucho the other day, and i'm sure she did it in person with the sole purpose of having you at the barbecue and confirm the rumors of you being fully back home” you chuckle trying to play it cool, god you felt like you were 15 again, drooling for him.

His dad had told him about the gathering but he wasn't planning on going, but now, seeing the slight spark your eyes got when you asked him about his possible attendance, he couldn't think of a better plan for Sunday. “Yeah, my pops told me the other day. I take you´re going too?” you nod with doe eyes and he can't help his eyes for going down to where you tongue tips out of your mouth to wet your lower lip, he gulps and can feel a drop of sweat going down his spine; his mind wondering how you tongue and your lips might feel against his own, against his neck or his chest…

Your mom suddenly yells your name from inside the house. “Dani is calling you, mija!!” you both can hear her voice coming from the living room where the telephone is.

“Dila que voy ma!! (tell her i'll be right there mom!!)” you yell towards her, turning your head over your shoulder, then you turn towards Javi again. You guys keep looking into each other's eyes for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time until you decide that if you don't stop it, your mom will come over and ruin the moment even more. “I'll see you on Sunday then?”

He nods and then does something that makes you melt into a puddle of water into the ground, he kisses your cheek and with a breathy and deep whisper wishes you a good day to then turn around and walk to his truck on the driveway. You can't help but to stay right there frozen with your heart going way too fast and an almost shocked expression, watching how he puts the leftovers on the passenger side then gets behind the wheel and drives away; it isn´t until your mom calls your name again that you defroze.

Next chapter

[cloudysky-930]

So, I replied to this in a brief comment already

"Bullshit. The reason people shit on Sakura 24/7 is because of some shit she said when she was 12. People will hate on Sakura for being weak and then like rock Lee even when she trained just like he did to become better. Naruto tried to "reason with him" but would've done the same thing. And don't forget, sasuke tried to kill Sakura several times. If she didn't really love him, I don't fucking blame her. All he did was treat her like shit, with a handful of soft moments that she probably doesn't even remember. And then he left his family for nine years in boruto and tried to kill his own daughter 💀 father of the fucking year"

But I thought it would be important to actually post some evidence in order to support my claims so I'll start from the beginning

________________________

"Bullshit. The reason people shit on Sakura 24/7 is because of some shit she said when she was 12."

Incorrect! I can give you some reasons why I dislike her in shippuden.

Says shes going to save her teammates finally, but when the time comes just hides in the forest and does nothing.

Sai is the one that stops Sasuke from harming Naruto, not Sakura, for some reason. Isn't Sakura the one thats whole goal is to finally be useful? What happened to that?

She could've stopped EVERYTHING, but no! She hesitated and made the war SO MUCH WORSE. She couldn't even do this simple task!

She's stupid af for running at 4 tailed Naruto. Like what was she thinking? What would she even be able to DO.

Ran at madara with absolutely no plan, which was a stupid idea. She did this so she could impress "her precious sasuke-kun!"

The constant pining after sasuke for no reason other than his looks

She doesn't even try to understand his actions throughout shippuden

See! He doesn't even care when she gets hurt! And why would he? Not to mention, she didn't even acknowledge Naruto helping her at that moment.

I'll just copy and paste what I said in a pervious post

"Friends who care about their friends don't lie and tell them that they love them. What if it actually worked? If Sakuras plan worked and Naruto believed her, what did she plan on doing after that? Did she still plan to go after Sasuke, and let's say she actually managed to kill him somehow. Wouldn't that just break Narutos' heart even more? For being so smart as some people claim, she's really stupid."

Leaving her teammates who were trying to help her with her stupid plan unconscious and in the open where people can easily harm them.

Last but not least, We are only told that Sakura surpassed the tsunade, not shown it. For example, as shown in the manga and anime during the 4th Shinobi war, Sakura couldn't heal shikamaru, but Tsunade did it with one tap. If Sakura surpassed tsunade, wouldn't she heal Shikamaru faster than a tap?

Also in this frame above, she's dissing her TEACHER who made her go from a complete ZERO to above average in strength. Like Tsunade was doing CHARITY WORK by helping SAKURA, and she dares to put her teacher down???

There are more examples , but because of the image limit per post on Tumblr, this is it for this section.

______________________

"People will hate on Sakura for being weak and then like rock Lee even when she trained just like he did to become better."

Well, for one, Sakura was born naturally gifted with chakra control while Lee was born with no talent at all.

And two, Sakura has A LOT more screen time compared to Lee but does less in that screen time compared to him. Like, 4/5 times, Sakura is going to be useless when we see her, but for the small instances, we see Lee. He's actually being helpful.

______________________

"Naruto tried to "reason with him" but would've done the same thing."

Newsflash! Killing someone is very different than offering to die WITH them. So no, he wouldn't have done the same thing.

______________________

"And don't forget, sasuke tried to kill Sakura several times."

Every time sasuke tried to kill Sakura was after she tried to harm him or had plans to harm him first! So, Sasuke was more of a victim in these scenarios than Sakura.

______________________

"If she didn't really love him, I don't fucking blame her. All he did was treat her like shit, with a handful of soft moments that she probably doesn't even remember. And then he left his family for nine years in boruto and tried to kill his own daughter 💀 father of the fucking year"

Wrong again. All he did was treat her like shit? Are we watching or reading the same show/manga? Because he has been nothing but kind to her, and she didn't even deserve it. She's done nothing but hit on him for no real reason and tried to bring him back for her selfish reasons. Those "handful of soft moments" you claim that he gave to her weren't even deserved, considering she never cared for him as a person but about his looks.

Yes, he left for over 9 years, but why's that a mistreatment of Sakura on his part? Considering she was dying to get with him in the first place.

"Father of the fucking year" why should he want to be near a women he never truly loved and near a child he obviously only needed to have for plots sake.

Why don't you mention how shitty of a mother Sakura is? She uses physical intimidation to make sarada stop asking questions, which is a form of abuse! And those questions weren't even offensive. Her relationship with sasuke IS weird, and she should've answered her daughters questions accordingly.

She even chased after Sasuke for this life so no! She's NOT a victim this is EXACTLY what she wanted!

___________________

I would tag you, but considering how much you've been commenting on my posts, I'm sure you're going to come across this anyway.

Now we obviously share different opinions, and that's okay. But commenting on my posts isn't going to change my opinion because why would it? I have the evidence right here, and measly comments aren't going to make it go away.

[canon-vi]

What if? What if Tasya was a character in Sora? Oh yeah, thanks to TikTok for inspiring songs

--------------------------💠----------------------------

•

Also blames Dream for her mother's death, but doesn't show it, and no matter how much she blames him, she still stays close to him and loves him

•

Reaches out to Pallete, feels a resemblance to herself in him and sincerely believes him

•

Doesn't believe Lux, pretends to believe, but does the opposite

•

Says everything straight to your face with a stupid look (she understands everything)

•

While the original Taisiya is "I see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil, guys", this Taisiya is "I saw everything, I heard everything and I will tell you all"

•

She calls Nightmare not her father, but her uncle

•

This Taisiya is happy to wear all sorts of witch outfits, she always dresses as a witch for all sorts of events that involve costumes

•

She is trying hard to become a witch, she reads every book where witches are mentioned by at least some third generation of the author's great-grandfather's grandmother

--------------------------💠----------------------------

Dream:

Yes, he is guilty, yes, he is bad both as a husband and as a father, but I will still love him, he... He is trying, okay? Enough, just enough of all this...

Nadezhda:

Hope... Uncle told me that Mom is in heaven and what he did for her to go there... I think Mom really deserves to rest up there, and those who think otherwise - let them burn in hell

Ink:

Brother Pallete and sister Drop's mom... Well.. I don't know what I can say about her... But I see how she tries, really, it's just... I like Miss Killer's company more...

Nightmare:

Uncle often scolds dad and just as often talks about mom, and only good things, after his story about what he did to send mom to heaven, I started thinking about who loves mom more, dad or uncle...

Alphonse:

Brother Callisto, Brother Pallete, Mr. Merciless, Sister Drop, Miss Artemis, Dad, Uncle, Miss Killer... agh... well, EVERYONE says he's bad, but for some reason he treats me well... I'd rather trust everyone and not go near him

Killer:

I really like listening to her, she's very beautiful and her voice is very pleasant!! Well, sometimes the stories that Miss Killer tells me I already know, but it doesn't matter! I will listen to her forever

Cross:

He gives me free treats and who am I not to take them? And Miss Killer speaks highly of him, so I think he's a good guy

Reaper:

What Uncle did was horrible, but I hope Mr. Death knows it was worth it...

Geno:

I probably won't be able to look her in the eye with a clear conscience, after all, because of me Uncle tortured her daughter...

Angst (Dead):

I heard from Uncle that he's very annoying and... Dead child...

Callisto:

Brother Callisto is the best older brother, and anyone who disagrees can go to hell, because you can't go against facts, and the fact that Callisto is the best older brother.

Crescent:

I... I really try to go to church, it's just... I can't help my sensitivity, the smell makes me sick there...

Merciless:

Sister Lux's fiancé... I don't know him that well, we avoid each other, I don't know what to say about him

Lux:

"Did you know that if you cut your hair, it will grow faster??" If it weren't for Brother Callisto, I would have cut her hair, but I don't want Callisto to scold me for it... so I just nod, agree and don't do it...

Pallete:

I try to support my brother as best I can, maybe I'm not doing it well, but at least I try, the company of him and little sister Drop is much better than the company of sister Lux and loneliness, I hope my imposition will not make our relationship worse...

Goth:

I feel awkward looking her in the eye just like I did in front of Miss Geno, but what can I do? Brother Pallete is her friend, so we have to see each other

Drop:

Sister Drop is very cute! But I can't understand her love for Mr. Merciless, he's already taken, he's in love with sister Lux, but I'll still teach my sister some manners!

Bonus:

Albedo:

He dares to think that he can go against the king and my with Callisto will , I'd rather move to Miss Killer than to him!

PaperJam:

I have an uncle with Miss Killer and Ink instead of a mom, I get enough love and care, but she and her brother still continue their tirade about depriving dad of parental rights.

Gradient:

Only Brother Callisto and Brother Pallete can hit dad! He dared to hit a member of the royal family! In Uncle's time, he would have been executed for this on the spot! He should be glad that dad is mercifull!

Angst (alive):

He once brought me a book about witchcraft and such... I don't want to know where and how he found them, but I am very grateful to him!

Artemis:

I try to distract her from my appearance, I put on glasses, change my hairstyle, dress differently, I like to walk with her and cook

--------------------------💠----------------------------

--------------------------💠----------------------------

E. L. A. by pretty Rose 🌹 @anotherrosesthatfell

Sunflower in full bloom au by pretty Cherry 🍒 @cherriesandbonbons / @purplesunflowerz

[bee-bzz]

some Brazilian songs that represent some ppg couples because I think you guys are missing out on Brazilian music and I'd like to share.

(this is gonna be a long post so buckle up)

Blossick

"They tell me: the world is in your hands

I guess I let it go then

no, of course I don't love you

but in trying to forget you I'm already remembering us

and if I remember, don't answer me

I swear I don't love you, I just had too much to drink" - Não Te Amo (don't love you), Jão

"I won't talk about love, no

because I don't like anyone

if one day I did, what a shame

(...)

and I won't talk about your eyes

it makes me say the things that I'm afraid to

because they show me what I didn't want to see

and I won't even mention your mouth

I won't say I love you

after spending so long trying to hide it

and I don't even know what I'm talking about

every time I open up I give you an opening to fuck me up" - NÃO VOU FALAR DE AMOR (won't talk about love), Lagum

"Why did you never love me?

why did you hurt me

pretended, lied, never loved me

I wish I could tell you that I

never felt anything for you

I wish that I could uncry

the tears that already ran

and if it already ran (it'll dry)

and if it already dried (no one saw)

I will send it there, to the bridge that fell

this letter that doesn't say" Carta Que Nao Diz (letter that doesn't say), Mariana Froes, Rodrigo Alarcon, Ana Muller

Butchercup

"I like being immature with you

I like to give myself and get lost

I want to be able to nag you on your every manner

smoking anything, just to entertain myself

I risk my life just to see you

all of our youth runs through our veins

it's just, I'm weak, fragile and stupid

to talk about love

but if it's with you, I'll do it" Imaturo (immature), Jão

"The first time I saw you

something told me

"this is gonna end badly"

on the second time, I had the same impression

but I'm not one to listen

to my intuition

it's like something between chaos and stress

but that kind off messes me up

in a good way

baby, don't make me crazy

because I already am

it's just, there really should be a test

anything, a simulation perhaps

to avoid getting into a trap

instead of a relationship

you tell me you hate my outfit

and I really love your dress

when I have the chance to take it off

you tell me that you love me

and I hate you

in a strange way

because nothing is weirder than loving" - EU TE AMO (I Love You), Lagum

"Tell me you hate me

but say you don't live without me

I'm a plague

miss "no shame" from your garden

you're jealous

but you love to watch me dance" - Bem-Me-Quer (He Loves Me, like from the "he loves me, he loves me not" thing), Rita Lee

Boomubbles

"I made these blues for Bia

but Bia won't come and hear

I won't censor the beauty

it's in her nature

living loose around here

I composed sweet melodies

so she would be moved by them

I rhymed with melancholy

my day-to-day without Bia

but Bia doesn't care" - Blues Pra Bia (Blues for Bia) , Chico Buarque (he's like a father to me)

Note: translating this man's songs is almost sacrilegious. Please go listen yourself to at least feel the vibe a little bit. He's a master of lyricism.

"Whoever sees you walking past me like this

doesn't know what suffering is

having to see you in this way

always so pretty

contemplate the sun of your eyes

losing you in thin air

in the certainty of a love

thinking of myself as nothing

because without your kindness

I feel so alone

I drown myself in loneliness" Anna Júlia, Los Hermanos

"Love of my life

from here until eternity

our destinies were traced since maternity

cruel passion, unbridled

I bring you a thousand stolen roses

so you can forgive all of my lies

and all of my blunders

exaggerated, thrown at your feet

I really am exaggerated

I adore a crafted love" - Exagerado (exaggerated), Cazuza

[abloomingsunflower]

"Time to call it quits." pt. 1/?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Shinigami angst, implied Mercigami.]

[Story takes place in Surprise Ending]

Moonrise was hanging out with Shinigami once again. This grim reaper was always nice to him. Calm, mature, the right person to go to for comfort. The little boy enjoyed her company, and Shinigami didn't feel so lonely anymore..

"Look miss Murata, did I do it right?" said Moonrise, showing a flower crown made of daisies.

Shinigami glanced at the crown, placing a hand over her chin.

"Not bad, Moonrise. It's very pretty. You're learning and improving." she softly smiled, praising the little boy. Moonrise couldn't help but smile too.

"I have a good teacher. Making flower crowns was difficult at first.."

"I'm glad I was helpful..Why don't you show your mother when you go back home? I'm sure she'll like it."

"Good idea, miss Murata" Moonrise nodded, looking down at the daisy flower crown. He smiled thinking about his mother's smiling face when she would see it.

At afternoon, Shinigami accompanied Moonrise back to Lux's and Merciless' house. Afterall, it wasn't a good idea to let a child walk home alone.

"Thanks for walking me home, miss. It was nice spending time with you today" Moonrise said, looking up at the grim reaper.

"Awe...I appreciate you keeping me company, Moonrise. I'm glad I was able to teach you to make flower crowns today. What would you like me to teach you next time?" Shinigami smiled, kneeling down to be on the boy's level.

"Oh, um..Maybe next time you can tell me one of your stories? They're so fun, they sound like old fairytales!"

Shinigami's expression brightened, and soon it was followed by a nod.

"Alright. Next time we meet, I'll tell you a story about a fox priestess and a handsome emperor. I remember my father telling me this story when I was little, and I wanna share it with you!"

Moonrise's eyes glinted with curiosity, and the little boy nodded.

"Can't wait! See you next time, miss Murata"

"Bye! Tell your mama and your papa I said hi.."

"I will!" Moonrise said, and there he went! Shinigami watched him go into his house, and stood up. She took a deep breath.

Just as she was about to turn around and leave, she noticed Goth from the corner of her eye, coming out of Lux's and Merciless' house.

Huh. Perhaps she had gone to visit.

Once Goth noticed her, she immediately walked up to Shinigami.

"Good afternoon, Shin. How was your day..?"

"It wasn't bad. Today I spend some time with Moonrise, but other than that..Just another monotone day, honestly." Shinigami shrugged, glancing away for a moment.

"I see..Also, um..I have something important to tell you..." Goth mumbled "But you're not going to like it one bit."

Shinigami turned her head towards Goth, raising an eyebrow. 'Not going to like it one bit'..?

Plus, she just came out of their house. That could only mean that...

"Goth..What did you do?" Shinigami's eyebrows furrowed.

"I told them, I'm sorry..About you being Merciless' soulmate and all.."

"...."

Shinigami put a hand over her forehead and let out a tired, disappointed groan. Well, this wasn't good news. Goth deeply sighed and continued:

"Look, I had to! It's for your own good, you're suffering enough. Don't you think you deserve happiness?? You finally found your soulmate and you're giving him up too easily!"

"Because I have no choice, Goth. He loves her, not me. Look at them! They are happy and in love, and created a family together. Why on earth would I want to ruin that? This is exactly why I told you to not utter a single word about it, but you didn't listen to me anyway!" Shinigami scoffed, starting to get irritated.

"But you're so miserable because of that! I don't want you to die, Shinigami!"

"But it doesn't matter. Does it? It's bound to happen. I'm just a stupid ex-maid with dead parents, unhappy and with a stupid job as a grim reaper. I wanted to at least die without making Merciless feel guilty, but I can't even have that!"

"No, no absolutely not..I will not let you waste your life like this. There is a solution here somewhere, I'm sure.."

"I quit trying a long time ago, Goth. The odds are against me anyway."

"Shinigami.."

"Stop trying to save someone as hopeless as me..How the hell am I going to face Lux and Merciless now..? What do I tell them? I'm sure Lux will not like this one bit."

"Just stop trying to run away. I begged Lux to let Merciless go so you could--"

"No! Goth, you really need to stop putting your nose in other people's business. This is terrible!"

"I'm doing this for you!" Goth spoke up once again, still stubborn on her own.

"I know, but this isn't good for anyone! You're just ruining their relationship over my stupid feelings!" Shinigami spoke with a panicked tone in her voice. "I appreciate the effort to bring me and Merci together, but we are never going to happen. That much is guaranteed. I'm going to stick around a little longer if that's what makes you happier.."

Goth stood still, unable to form any words. Shinigami also went silent, thinking how to solve this. Thinking what to tell Lux and Merciless if they came up to her and asked.

Things were going to be so..awkward between them. She didn't want that..

"I'm sorry Shin," Goth sighed "I just couldn't stand the thought of losing my friend at some point.."

"..It is what it is. All you gotta do is learn to accept it. I'm sorry."

And with that, Shinigami turned around and started to walk away, telling Goth "Have a nice day" before disappearing into the distance.

Goth was going to chase after her, but..decided it was best not to. Shinigami was feeling down already, she probably needed some time alone to think after this news..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bonus:

Shinigami's designs- ^v^

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moonrise (MerciLux shipchild) belongs to @bloxyyjuli

E.L.A and all it's characters belong to @anotherrosesthatfell

Shinigami belongs to me <3

[generative-sorcery]

God, i'd do so well as the protagonist of the inn sanity game.

"Robin, I know we aren't supposed to be trusting anyone, but, you know, the old man nextdoor is completely chill, how about we invite him over? I know, food supply is already low, but you know just as well as me that we can survive without even for a week! And it's not like we won't have any food at all, have you seen how many supplies i found? We can't just let him rot in there i'm certain he'll start getting famished if we don't share, c'mon let's go"

"Hey, ghost lovely white lady my wife? I know we're in a rough position right now, me not remembering anything about you, but... can you maybe, please, tone down on the killing aspect? Don't you remember how much time we spent together on couple counseling trying to get you over murdering and me over my disgust for human corpses? we were both doing astonishingly good, that's what the therapist said! What do you mean you don't remember? What about the priest? Don't you remember that one evening after the sermon where... we... invited him for dinner, and he told the joke about... how jesus couldn't heal lazarus and had to resurrect him once he died because jesus was God born as man, and not a doctor? Wait... doesn't it mean that both of us have amneisia about ourselves? Oh, how wonderful it is that our love for one another has stayed! But please, can you not kill that priest guy, or can you maybe even help him with survival? He was always such a great friend to both of us, we can't just let him die!"

"My lovely ghost wife, i have wonderful news! I've just found out that our long-lost daughter, she... she's alive! Yes, i also didn't remember i had a daughter at first, but... just... just look at her! She has your... body curvature, yes! She said that i look just like her father, who she doesn't remember very well, since i left you... i'll tell you both about why i've done this, just... not yet, okay? I'm... i'm just so happy that you both are here, this is the greatest day of my life! All that trouble which caused me to leave, it's all over now, we can finally live like a normal family again! You, my amnesiac ghost wife, our astranged daugher, and me!"

(In case you think the protag couldn't bullshit to this degree, trust me, i fooled actual people who are not demented and stupid ghosts into thinking that i remember them and that i'm super glad to see them)

(As for the pale beast- well, the priest has a gun, right? If we gather our forces, there's four living people and a ghost who is at least not a hallucination that only a single person has, at least one spear can be fashioned out of chair legs, the razor and the duct tape found in the hikers' room, it might have supernatural strength and intense bloodlust but c'mon we used to be able to fell fucking mammoths wirh nothing but pointy rocks on long sticks don't you remember?)

[strawberrycriisiis]

@koraichalcum

... y o u.

.....YOU AGAIN.

DOWN IN MY DEN ONCE MORE.......DISTURBING TERRITORY......BRINGING IN MORE OF YOUR MISERABLE KIND IN.......EXPOSING OPENINGS FOR RIVALS TO ENTER-!

Anger made him careless on approach. The trees and brush had cracked away in his headlong fury so much so he could not stop momentum when she was in sight-! The blunt claws meant to swipe and crush her beneath his palm had just managed to graze her shoulder instead before he collided against a boulder in a burst of rubble and dust.

He shook it off with a pained hiss and turned to lock gaze on a NUISANCE.

WAS LIVING THE FIRST TIME DOWN NOT ENOUGH??? DOES THIS WRETCHED WARM BLOOD ENJOY TAUNTING THE VERY VERY THIN LINE SHE WALKS UPON??? DID SHE AND HER ACCURSED PACK OF APES NOT UNDERSTAND TO STAY AWAY??? THAT HE WAS THE LAW OF LAND ITSELF GIVING CLEAR ORDERS??

YOU LIVED ONLY BECAUSE I TOLERATED IT!!! YOU'RE ALIVE SOLELY BECAUSE I DECIDED IT, YOU INFERIOR WELP!!!

But he picked up her vile scent fresh in the restless bright caverns below. It was THEY who stepped into his territory AGAIN, disrupted balance and let new beasts in-!!!

I'LL KILL YOU-!!!

The Guardian of Paradise's roar shakes the air and cinder flares from his nostrils-

better make a move.

She entered Area Zero out of curiosity, for once. Going against her instinct, her fears, everything she chastised her friends for, she returned up there -- luckily, unknowingly to her, in a day where her father wasn't constantly vigilant, and wouldn't be able to follow her GPS in there.

She went down mostly because of that tree. She barely got a glimpse of it when she went looking for Terapagos, but there was... something about it. Something calming, in that death trap.

"Just a quick peek won't hurt", she told to herself, being sure to tell the guards at the entrance she had no intentions to cause trouble and checking if Miri was in for a ride down there before jumping in. Because being scared of a stupid giant hole was, in fact. Stupid.

...or, at least, that's what she thought. Until she delved too deep.

---

She just landed on the lowest level of Area Zero when she heard a rumbling coming from... way too close ot her. ...no, no that wasn't a rumble. Miraidon reacted just the same.

It was a growl. A growl she was way too familiar with.

"--no"

Why is it here. Why is it here?! It wasn't there last time she went in that god forsaken crater, she was sure it just-- went somewhere else, maybe to sleep forever or something! Taking some steps back, Fresa's heart started beating as fast as it could, bumping hard against her chest.

"No no no, w-wait--!"

The Apex roars, she screams in return, stumbling backwards and raising both hands in front of her face as it they could protect her from an attack she was sure was incoming-- --and then a second metallic roar echoes in those caves as Miraidon moves between her and the other Paradox, electricity running down its spine as it prepared himself to protect her, if necessary.

She might be paralyzed by fear, but he won't stand there and wait for another young human to have a piece bitten off from her!

[randomnameless]

Too late. But I saw your post about the Supreme Leader's family, and how we know more of Glenn than any of her siblings. I would also like to mention Raphael's younger sister, Maya, who, like Glenn, more is known than any of the her siblings. However, there's also Marianne, who I find outshines Supreme Leader in terms of family background loopholes.

It's funny how simple characters like Raphael and Ignatz have less of a problems than supposedly "interesting" characters like Marianne and Lysithea. But I think all of this falls under crests BaD.

Why no mention of Hilda anon? lol

TBH Lysithea is what I'd call here a "pétard mouillé", aka something that had some potential but ultimately ended up as underutilised/wasted.

I know it's because Adrestia 5evah, but the sheer fact Lysithea has nothing - no mention, no words in her useless and worthless support with Supreme Leader about, uh, papa Ionius being angry and sending dark mages to "test some science project" on her siblings, who died as a result, is completely bonkers - and we don't even have a weak "it's not daddy dearest who did it but the bald fatso who wasn't in power because the insurrection didn't happen yet but it's totes his fault daddy told me and if you question me more i'll stop pretending to give a fuck and ignore you" support, no, it's just... not touched.

Then you have the entire Solon/Tomas from House Ordelia thingie she only mentions in VW but goes "nope I'm not telling you" in WC which is completely, uh... ridiculous, and again, never called out. Heck, the game spends more time dissing Lorenz because his dad sided with the imperialists (to protect his people else they'd be Waldo'd) but not a thing is said about Lysithea who knew there was something wrong with Tomas/Solon since the day she saw him at the Academy and worked with the maniacs who tortured her family at the behest of the Empire! Lysithea saying this in WC would have destroyed Supreme Leader's "plans" in half, but w/c.

There are a lot of things completely stupid regarding Marianne, and I'm not even talking abou the Momo sobfest, but imo nothing concerns her biofam?

We could talk all day long on how she swallows Supreme Leader and Clout's nonsensical shit about "Church BaD promotes IsOlAtIoNiSm" when her own father managed to get fame and acknowledgment as one who can be part of the Roundtable because he's so successful in his trade with, uhh, foreign countries (tfw no isolationism?), or how she could tell Claude that sure a free market where goods and people could cross without any difficulties borders would be a good thing, if some people just want to trade goods and don't invade every saturday because I'm pretty sure if her dad managed to become "important" due to all of the trading he does it's also because the people he trades with don't set up raids for funsies once per week.

But instead we have... well, as the Nopes dev put it "cute girls" and apparently it's ok, because the "very serious (tm)" plot dgaf about how the world it depicted works and actually shits on said plot.

It's also too bad that for all the interesting aspects Ignatz and Raph bring as the new bourgeoisie in a world we're told is full of aristocrats who keep the non-aristrocrats down, nothing is ever brought up.

Some people already pointed out how much of a wasted opportunity it was for, say, Doro looking for a wealthy husband, not looking at the Alliance's bachelors who might not be nobles, but are rich as fuck, or my own favourite plotbunny that will go nowhere, maybe Ingrid's dad trying to set up a match between his daughter and... Ignatz. But no.

Instead they will both swallow the nonsensical "without church there won't be any nobility and the commoners will be happy and able to rise and fall on their own!!" - Raphael's fall not being dictated by his actions but by his parents fucking dying - when their own situation has strictly nothing to do with the Church or the so-called "Crust system".

At least I can write fodlan nonsense about Ignatz's nabatean radar or his wish to be a painter - aka an utterly useless job in a world that's only focused on the military, but maybe reveals that if Ignatz, a merchant's wealthy's son can dream to become a painter, then maybe the world isn't as "martial" and "crust obsessed" as it's supposed to be.

[likeafairytale]

“ You trusted him, over me? What did he promise you? ... WHAT DID HE PROMISE YOU?! TELL ME CALYPSO! ” – Malachai while shaking a crying Calypso

Calypso was shaken by her brother like she was just a rag doll. Never she saw him so angry, and Malachai himself never thought he would be, but he had every right too. Aeron aimed for his left's knee, the only injury he had that never healed. Because he never told anyone about it. Only his youngest sister knew it.

They were still young when that happened. Well, Calypso, at least. Their mother was dead, Ursula was exiled, the youngest was unconsolable. And it hurt Kai to see his beloved sister in this state. He wanted to make her smile, so they swam away, and found a remote beach where Malachai could walk on the sand and show her his power. She stayed in the water, looking at her big brother moving things, shaking a mountain. She was pleased, but he pushed too much and last things he knew, he felt as if his left knee was broken, and he cried, coming back to the water as soon as possible. He thought the water would heal his injury, but no, his fin suffered as much as his human knee.

Bad consequences always happened when you used your power too much for too long. He broke his fin, and hid it to his father, so did Calypso. On earth, he limped, and he had this unforgivable pain on his left knee that only Calypso knew. So when Aeron aimed especially his left knee, he knew. He knew he had been betrayed by his own blood. His own sister.

❝Nothing, Kai, I swear!❞ the princess finally was able to sob, avoiding her brother's red eyes. She tried to be as quiet as possible, they weren't in the room she was sharing with Aeron, for Malachai took her by surprise in the middle of her sleep to move her in another room, being sure no one will disturb them.

❝LIAR! How would he have known otherwise?! You're the only one to know that weakness of mine, Calypso!❞

He shook her until he got blind. The girl knew she wasn't a match for Malachai's skill, and blinding him was her only option right now. She did so, and he let go of her, she finally sat on the bed behind her, one hand on her mouth to hold her sob, and one immediately on her belly. Malachai, as for him, sat on the ground, he didn't realize how tired he was until he touched the floor, sighing.

❝You got played by your own stupidity again.❞ To those words, she realized, it wasn't her brother she had in front of her. It was her father. She could see every bit of Triton's cruelty and madness. She couldn't think futher tho, because something glittering in the middle of the night caught her eyes. The blade. Calypso's heart sank, while she looked Malachai playing with it.

❝W-where did you find it?...❞ She whispered, her voice shaking at the possibility of what he will do with it.

❝I told you I'll find it, didn't I? I came here, planing to use it on you. As revenge, if you will. Give me one reason why I shouldn't.❞ Kai's eyes, who were on the golden dagger before he looked at his sister, and he saw it, the fear, she looked like a little lamb, about to be slaughter. He didn't know how he felt about this, about knowing he was the one who was scaring her so much. No, not him, he rationalized, maybe to not admit he was becoming his father, she is not afraid of me, she is afraid of the blade.

❝Yes, I told him.❞ Calypso finally admitted in a whisper. ❝But I did that for my family!❞ She yelled when she saw him moving toward her, which stopped him. ❝He's my husband, you try to kill him every day! I cannot let that happen!❞

❝So I was right. You chose him, a Fae, a stranger of your blood, instead of me, your own brother... So perhaps, I shouldn't use this against you. Perhaps, your husband should be the one to have a nightmarish night.❞

❝He's no stranger of my blood, for I am bearing his child!❞ The words left her throat before she could even think of them. She was surprised, but not as surprise as Kai. ❝Yes, I told him your weakness, because I want my husband to stay alive in order to see his future child.”

❝So you wanted me dead. Admit it, Calypso, you wanted him to kill me.❞

❝No I didn't! Didn't you hear how delutional you are?! All I want is my family to be alive, ALL of my family! You want me to beg for forgiveness? Well, I won't. Because I am not ashamed of what I did. Protecting the man I love, so my child could have a father to be with. Did you forget how it is to grow up without a parent? Or didn't you love mother enough to care-❞

❝THAT'S ENOUGH!❞ The pregnant woman jumped to his words, and for the first time tonight, she didn't see anger, but pain on his face.

Maybe she was still too trusting. Perhaps she was just an idiot. But in any case, she used this moment of weakness to her advantage, coming slowly in front of Kai, knowing the possibility that he could stab her at any moment. She softly put her hand on his, and she noticed his eyes fixed on her belly.

❝I want my family to be safe, Kai. But don't you see it? I am in the middle of all of this. My husband fighting my brother. My two brothers fighting in opposite side. And I'm just waiting every day, praying the Golden Goddesses for not receiving bad news at the end of the day.❞

Malachai closed his eyes and sighed. He was now confused. He didn't know how to feel. Not only that, but he was just tired, to be honest. He just wanted everything to end, to not have to fight tomorrow. To have peace. But he knew his father wouldn't let that happen. Not until he had what he wanted, the sceptre, or the death of all Faes, either way he would be satisfied. The mermale finally looked at his sister's stormy eyes.

❝Who knows?❞

❝Aeron, you and Yasmeen.❞

❝Yasmeen knows?❞ Malachai's heart sank when he heard her name, and memories he tried to buried for weeks now came back to him. He tried to not show any emotion, how hurt he was, how jealous too, but he couldn't admit that. Not now.

❝She was with me when I learnt it… Soon after, she left.❞

❝What about Nathaniel?❞

❝I didn't have a minute alone with him. I don't trust anyone here.❞ The truth was that, she didn't want to admit it, but she didn't trust Nathaniel right now. He switched side not so long ago, she loved her brother with all her heart, but she wasn't sure, yet he won't tell Morgana. Or someone else.

❝Good. Keep not trusting anyone. If father knows…❞ Malachai stopped his sentence there. Not saying more. Once again, memories came back as a wave in his mind, and he had to close his eyes for a few seconds to keep his composure. ❝Father and Morgana are too dangerous. When they will know, because they will, they will use you and your child as leverage. You should be prepared for that.❞ He could tell, by her silence, and by her nod, that she already thought of it. She had much time to think of it after all. ❝When father will know, I can swear to you, Calypso, it won't come from me. I will never put your child at risk.❞

❝I know.❞ Here was she again. A few minutes before, he was threatening her to stab her with their father's golden dagger, he was screaming at her and shaking her like a doll. And now he was her brother again, and her trust was so easily earn. She has to blame Triton for that, love bonding her so often that she couldn't make the differences now.

❝You shouldn't trust me so easily after what I did earlier.❞ Malachai said, as if he could read Calypso's mind. ❝But to prove you my loyalty, here. This belongs to you now. If ever one day, you have any doubt about me, you can stab me with it.❞ Following his words, Kai handed her their father's blade. This gesture took her breath away, for she never thought she would be the owner of it. She slowly took it from him, threatened and relieved at the same time. ❝I promise I won't come to your husband anymore, if he does not come to me first. I'll let him be. Goodbye, little sister.❞ And on those last words, he kissed her forehead, making her close her eyes, before he left her alone in the room.

[rippedoffbandaids]

Short Writing Piece - how much pollen can a wilted flower give?

At some level, I understood that we can never bloom into flowers. We were never planted. I was a selfish germination of a false truth. I could never love the way that I had loved you when we met. 

The way your lovely coral curls bounced along as you spoke. The way you lit up the room once I approached you with the deal. The deal that I would forever, forever regret ever making. 

"You'll have three days to live." 

It struck me, but I could never show it. 

What kind of person actually believes in love at first sight? There was no way you did, you seemed too thick-skinned for such things. 

Those words ate at me like an amoeba. How could I lose someone as sweet as you? Do you think I sound obsessed? No, no, I could never do such a thing. 

When we found the carriage, and you convinced the old man to give us a discount, I was rather shocked, I would have willingly paid extra due to my size if needed. I'm used to those kinds of things, you probably aren't; you are angel-like. I hope everyone treats you well. 

I believe my least favorite part of the trip was the whole, seeing two of you, as much as I love your beautiful face, it is rather disconcerting to see a replica of someone. 

What was I supposed to do, you fell asleep peacefully on the carriage ride home. What am I supposed to do? What can I do now that the person who treats me properly is now going forever? 

I think you knew that it was coming; you aren't even sad about it. I guess it confuses me more than anything; if I were told I was dying, I would be telling my family my goodbyes. Maybe you don't have a family; how rude of me to assume. 

I don't want you to leave me, your skin is turning colder by the minute, yet you still have a smile on your face. I couldn't understand how you wanted others around you to be joyous even in your final moments. It is a quality I could never possess. 

You spoke to me every second, I should be the one reassuring you. Why am I crying over someone I've known for only three days? Oh, how three days can change your world with great magnitude. There wasn't anything I could do, I couldn't save you, I didn't even try. 

They tell me it's survivor's guilt; why wasn't it me? Why didn't I take the… death?  It's not like you shared the same feelings I did for you, so if I died, it would have never been a problem. Who am I to find love from now? 

I sound desperate. I don't know if I could even call it love; maybe it was some stupid crush because someone treated me kindly for the first time in a long time. I can't believe you're gone. I traveled far to bury you somewhere like your hat. I feel like you would have liked it. 

I had someone make a replica of your hat because I wanted something that reminded me of you, but I didn't want to take it from you. I think I was able to get over the initial grief, I can't feel much anymore. I went home after I buried you; deer was with me while I did. 

I don't know where deer is now, I didn't want to bring them back to my hometown. I told my mother and father about you, they thought you would fit in well with us. I think you made up for my quieter personality. My elder sister thought it was cute. I had a crush. I think it hurt her more when I told her you weren't in this world any longer. 

I don't even know why I write these letters, I doubt you'll ever see them, or, even if you do, you can't do anything about it. You're gone. I don't think I would contact a necromancer to bring you back either, I want to follow your wishes and let you rest. 

I don't think I'll love anyone else again. 

[firecaptainphoenix]

Dear mom,

Tw: emotional distress Bradley Romero-Sawyer saw his husband sitting at their breakfast bar on one of the bar stools. Walking up behind him he was careful about wrapping his arms around his waist, Phoenix was a bit too jumpy at times and a bop to the stomach would not end well with the current occupant. Kissing his cheek, he glanced down at the counter seeing a piece of paper with the words 'Dear Mom' written on the top.

"You know it helps if you hold a pencil, it won't write itself," he teased.

Phoenix let out a huff of a sigh, "This is such a stupid assignment, it's not like she'll ever see it."

"It's not about her, it's about you. Your therapist said this would be good for you. Get all your feelings about her out in the open."

Phoenix turned pulling Bradley into his arms, he leaned his forehead against his shoulder. "What if I don't want them out?"

"Then tell your therapist you weren't able to do it. But both me and her think it'll help. It's been a month since she assigned it to you, you really sure there's nothing you want to say?"

Phoenix sighed, going quiet as he just kept leaning against Bradley. Therapy was harder than even firefighter training had been, he didn't want to sit and talk about his feelings. It was easier to stay quiet and just wait out when things got to be too much. As if sensing his distress he felt movement from Bradley's stomach against his own body. Glancing down he smiled fondly at the small bump that had been growing over the last few months.

"Remember who you're working on things for, I love you. But when you go quiet like this it's hard to tell what's going on. Little J isn't going to know why you get like that."

Sighing Phoenix nodded as he pulled back enough to look at his husband. They'd taken to calling the baby J unsure of what name they'd settle on eventually. But Bradley had said he liked J names so Little J was a nice place holder. He looked at Bradley seeing nothing but love and sympathy, it was still hard to believe anyone could look at him like that.

"I know...I'll try," he said softly.

Leaning forward Bradley kissed him deeply, "That's all I'm asking for, that's all we're both asking for." With that Bradley headed off to a different room leaving Phoenix once again alone to work on his letter. Sighing he picked up the pencil and just started writing.

Dear Mom Ma,

I'm suppose to write a letter to you. About how my childhood felt or what my relationship with you is. Least that's what the doctor Bradley found told me to do. I don't know what to say to you, you were a mother with way too many kids. Honestly you barely mothered, you were more like a general in charge of her army. You kept us fed, trained, and ready for anything. Maybe that's how you showed us love. Maybe to you that's love. I don't know.

I'm scared to be a father. When Bradley told me he was pregnant, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I didn't feel excitement. I felt dread and anxiety. I was so scared that he'd look at me and say you aren't enough for us. The worst part is I can't even talk to you about this, all you said was 'You better not be a deadbeat. I didn't raise any of you to be deadbeats.' Thanks for that. Honestly I'm still scared, I didn't have a father, and I guess I didn't really have a mother either. So how the hell am I suppose to raise a kid better than you?

Maybe I won't, maybe I'll fuck it all up and one day they'll be sitting far away from home writing a letter to me that they won't send about how much I didn't cut it. I want to think that I'll do better, that I can be better but I don't know. Bradley keeps saying how important talking is to babies, that's never been my strong suit. It wasn't yours either.

Guess that's it then, I'll either fuck this up the way only a Romero can or turn it all around. Maybe this kid will be better than me, hard to imagine them being worse. Least they'll be half Bradley, he's good. Deserves better than me, but he believes in me. Says he believes in me enough for both of us. He's the reason our kid is even gonna be a Romero. Told him I was fine being the Sawyers but he insisted, said half of the kid is mine and he never wanted anyone to doubt that.

You're never gonna read this. I'll see you when we visit little while after the baby is born. I miss you. I love you.

-Phoenix Romero-Sawyer

[netegf]

FINALLY HOME AND READY TO READ!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷 been soooo eager but i really wanted to give it the time and attention it deserves and ikkkk this is gonna hurt so good <333 !!!!!

"I want to know more than this. I will learn, and I will work hard, and I will fight, but Vi, one day, you and me, we'll be free of this. Free to do whatever we want, free to spend our days like the humans in the movies, just happy and ourselves. Wouldn't you like that?"

from the get go, this has me so soft 🥺💖💖💖 first of all, neteyam putting his head in vi's lap is so ❤️❤️❤️ !!!!! [heart exploding] + the thought of them watching human tv and movies so so domestic and soft.. it is such a stark contrast from where they are today :(( also the idea that our human media brings them home is adorable pls.

You wondered if it was fate, or Eywa's doing, that O'i'en was the first person you ran into, even as you were trying to avoid any semblance of another soul, the guilt and sadness mingling in you with flashes of worst-case scenarios, ones in which your distracted mind led to deaths that you will forever carry on your shoulders, that you will forever blame yourself for, that you were sure other people would, too, ones which you were too scared to prove and too spent to disprove, so you settled for ignorance and denial, at least until you found your ikran.

STOP IM SO CONFLICTED bc i was so happy to see o'i'en back for this cameo!!!! but the context is so heart-breaking 😭😭😭😭 it felt like that "I don't even treat you that good, girl, why you smilin'?" drake meme 🤣🤣🤣🩷🩷🩷

seeing vi rush out of treatment while she's injured to find oare, knowing what's happened is so sad i can't :'((( poor baby

Your tears mingled with his own as they collapsed on your feet and on the grass, and you forgot for a second of your rule - no crying in front of people. You forgot this as you forgot everything else, even your own name pushed from your memory as it was flooded instead with images of her, of your sister, that you loved so much, that you cherished deeply, that you thought you’d be able to for the rest of your life, that you were now told was gone, taken from you, in spite of you… because of you. “No…Oare, no…” “She’s with Eywa now… I’m so sorry.”

i 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 am 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay 😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!!!!

“No, we’re not doing this shit anymore. My ikran is dead. People are dead, Neteyam. All because of us, because this stupid war, that you caused. That you started. I’m done with the games, and the mystery, and your stupid mouth staying shut. You don’t know? Figure it out. Now.”

i am so here for vi demanding answers and really needing neteyam to vocalize what he's feeling / BEEN feeling all this time !!!! she is legitimately a BOSS and i admire the way you write her so much andra!!! 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖💖 when i imagine the frustration and borderline numbness she feels at this moment... 😭😭😭😭 she is in so much pain and is not playing around!!!

"It meant everything! And my father fucking ruined it, and you ruined it. You ruined it, and I'll never, ever forgive you." the intensity behind his eyes, glistening with unshed tears that reflected the rays of the sun hitting his golden irises, the ones that put stars to shame and brought you to your knees, scared you. You came here to cry, and let it out. You came here to mourn. You didn't expect this. Didn't want this. But, for the first time in years, Neteyam was talking to you. Neteyam was telling you truths buried deep within his soul, deep behind walls you've tried to climb and pierce through longer than you wanted to admit to, and given the little crack of light you saw shine through, you knew you couldn't let this opportunity pass you by.

me gasping like LITERALLY every other word because this relay of dialogue was so fucking captivating and cathartic!!!! i literally LOVED seeing them both let it all out 😫😫😫😫🩵🩵🩵

He was rough as he pushed you until you tipped backwards, but his caress was gentle as he caught you and made sure you weren't hurt as your body hit the damp, soft grass. When he spread your legs and kneeled in between them, you knew you whatever ounce of self-restraint you had was swiftly thrown out the window, and you knew the relief you'd get to feel once he was done with you would be worth the regret in the morning - at least, it felt so right now. His fingers dug into your thighs as they massaged upwards, from your shins to your hips, and when both his thumbs caressed the sensitive spot at the edge of your loincloth, your breath hitched in your throat, silently begging him for more, hoping he wouldn't make you say words out loud you could never take back.

my stomach is in my THROOOOOOAATTTTT 💖💖💖💖 !!!!!!! the tension build-up, the candor from both of them, this release of feelings and emotions and urges is EVERYTHING!!

"It had to be someone who had no resemblance to you. It had to, Vi. Don't you understand? Because any time I looked at anyone, I saw you in them. Their eyes, or lips, their tanhì or stripes, even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

stop stop stop this is literally making my whole body melt 😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 i love this dialogue because it makes soooo much sense to me given the context of the story, but also because i imagine how vi would have interpreted this so differently in real time... like it would have just looked like neteyam wanted nothing to do with her anymore and that she's nothing like the girls he's interested in!

It was almost... domestic, the way he was asleep peacefully next to you, his breath so steady and deep, and so relaxed, it almost sounded like purring, his strong, muscular arms holding you close as you lay on your back, looking at the stars, bright, blurry orbs through the distorted lens of your tears, that couldn't stop falling, no matter how much you willed them away. The crash did come eventually, in the few hours since, and it felt like it broke all your bones in the process.

i love how we we end with this really domestic imagine, the same way we started the chapter with one 🥹🥹🥹 this fic is ART !!!!! so carefully crafted !!!!!😭😭💖💖💖

You and Neteyam rose and fell together, over and over again, your whole lives. A twisted carousel that wouldn't stop until one of you jumped off it, and with Oare's death, and the shame that followed it, you finally realised it had to be you.

+

“Ma Tsa’hik. I’m here to ask you to let me out of this arrangement. Please. I can’t do this, not with Neteyam. I’m done.”

ANDRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💔💔💔

i am in pain and my heart hurts but i also LOVE THIS ENDING bc it's so juicy and angsty 😫😫😫🩷🩷🩷🩷 i feel like she must be so overwhelmed in this moment so honestly i understand where she's coming from and i am SOOOO hyped to see how neteyam reacts to this next chapter AAAAAA!!!!!!!

incredible work as always i am in constant awe of your genius! 🥰🥰🥰

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀: 𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕖 𝕎𝕖'𝕧𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕕 𝔼𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙

Pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!Reader

synopsis: You and Neteyam finally confront each other, after a seven year war that left you broken and bruised.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), smut, strong language.

wc: 7k words

a/n: we're almost at the end, besties. i want to say a massive thank you for being patient with me, i have struggled with writer's block for a while now, and my life is incredibly hectic at the moment, but thank you for continuing to inspire me to write this story that has come to mean so much to me :(. i hope you enjoy this chapter, that i once again somehow feel weirdly insecure about hahaha, and i hope you'll find it was worth the wait. also this is only mildly proof read bc i am exhausted and i need to sleep ;((( i'll come back to it in the morning i promise x (also pls someone comment on the fact in the photo vi's looking up and he's looking down cause you know - rise and fall together and all)

pls don't forget to leave a comment or a reblog and tell me your thoughts, i loveee to hear from you so much!

na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, syä - bitter, tanhì - bioluminescent freckle, tewng - loincloth, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, yawne - beloved

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

I carved my name into your ribcage We talked of lands away from this cage

"Dad always talks about Earth as if it was a dying hole, but... I don't know."

Neteyam's head was positioned snugly in your lap as you both stared intently at the sky, trying to make sense of the shapes of clouds, and the way they passed you by like birds in the night sky, never to be seen again, just a memento of the present and how every moment was unique and precious, and needed to be cherished. You both loved doing that, in between practice sessions, or before, or after, a way to ground you and remind you there's still beauty in this world outside of what you were being taught, of how everything was in preparation for a grisly reality you both struggled to come to terms with.

"Yes?"

"The little videos we've seen, of the movies and shows Norm and Max and the other humans like to watch... and the books they make us read during English lessons and the music... it doesn't seem that bad, you know? It seems they were happy, and... good. It seemed they lived for more than just fighting and greed, more than this."

You thought about it for a while. He was right. Humans were... beautiful, in their own ways. They had love and heart and soul in a way you never thought possible - it seemed there was always beauty to be found even in the darkest of corners, even in the most unsightly of places, and that gave you hope.

"I want to be more than this, too."

Your eyes snapped from the sky to him, and his eyes met yours, boring into you with a vehemence that almost scared you. When he rose from his spot, he faced you, his face so close to yours you could feel his breath fanning over you, and your heart stumbled in your chest at the proximity and the way his smile always managed to take your breath away.

"I want to know more than this. I will learn, and I will work hard, and I will fight, but Vi, one day, you and me, we'll be free of this. Free to do whatever we want, free to spend our days like the humans in the movies, just happy and ourselves. Wouldn't you like that?"

"Yes. I'd like that."

You said, don't fret love, someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free Oh, but darling, did you mean Darling, did you mean free from me?

“O’i’en…” your voice was hoarse and barely there, a croaking whisper you hardly recognised as your own, but still there. You were still here, and at least for that, you were grateful. Because there was more to your life. So much more you wanted to do and see, so much you felt you were made for and deserved, so much you still have to repent and atone for. Your mind was scrambled with visions of your past, so many of them you’ve lost count, the continuous onslaught barely ceasing as you woke, and you still felt like in a liminal state of being, not quite dead, but not quite alive, either. In those dreams, images of your old Neteyam were intertwined with his face now, much colder, much wiser, somehow even more beautiful, and confessions of “I love you” mingled with hushed whispers of “why is she not awake yet?” and commotion beyond your understanding. You needed answers. The battle, that now felt like a lifetime away to you, also somehow felt like it had just finished, and you rose from your spot with only one thought in mind: Oare was hurt. She was shot, and you needed to find her. 

You wondered if it was fate, or Eywa's doing, that O'i'en was the first person you ran into, even as you were trying to avoid any semblance of another soul, the guilt and sadness mingling in you with flashes of worst-case scenarios, ones in which your distracted mind led to deaths that you will forever carry on your shoulders, that you will forever blame yourself for, that you were sure other people would, too, ones which you were too scared to prove and too spent to disprove, so you settled for ignorance and denial, at least until you found your ikran.

"Oh, Eywa, you're alive!" you were taken aback by his surprise, and by his pure, unadulterated relief and happiness as his eyes found your form, limping and bruised, with bloodied and torn garments and yet still... alive. You didn’t think O’i’en would ever want to see you again, much less acknowledge you or talk to you, but here he was, running, as much as he could, the gash in his leg preventing him from any true momentum, but still, he ran to you and enveloped you in a big hug, that you couldn’t help but reciprocate, melting into his all-too-familiar touch that’s always felt comforting and safe, and never bruising or cold.

You sighed as your mind, much as it always did, brought to its forefront another face, another body, another man that never ceased to pull you out of the moment and into whatever fantasy your mind concocted to replace reality with. As you tightened your arms around him, your palms flat against his back, you noticed your fingers being coated in warm liquid, and the feel of it, as well as the smell of metal that hit you immediately after, made you gasp and break the embrace, using whatever force you had to turn him around and inspect the wound you knew had to be bad enough, if so much blood was pouring out of it, but still couldn’t help be shocked when you were proven right. 

“Fuck, your back…”

“I know… I haven’t had the chance to go see the healers yet.” 

“You haven’t ha- are you serious right now? Come, let’s go now.” You almost forgot about the your plan to avoid people, too concerned for the ugly looking gash pulsating blood that trickled down his toned back, until it soaked in his soiled tewng. He didn’t let you move him, instead taking your wrists in his hand and holding you still. 

“You look like you’re about to collapse, how are you still so bossy? Besides… there’s people who need it more than me.” The purple twinge in his cheeks let you know this wasn’t quite the truth. Not the whole truth. O’i’en was the most selfless person you’ve ever met, and yet, this wasn’t the whole truth. You looked tired and broken, scared and forlorn, and yet, with all your might, you tried to contort your face into something you hoped resembled the way Jake would raise the hairs above his eyes in a clearly disapproving expression, and while you lacked the most important aspect of that whole stare, it clearly worked, because he winced and broke the look you shared, choosing a spot on the ground instead. 

“After… everything, I just didn’t know if I could…or should… go get help from the Tsa’hik. It feels like everywhere I look, you follow. I knew you were hurt as well, and I didn’t know if I could handle seeing you like that, or seeing you at all. But now that you’re here, I realise… I’m just happy you’re alive.”

You smiled, a small feat that felt like the hardest task you’ve ever been assigned, but still, you were glad to know there was still something salvageable about your relationship with the man you once thought you’d spent the rest of your life with. 

“Come, sit. I’ll clean the wound myself.”

“You shouldn’t-“ He stopped when he noticed your look. You were too tired to be trifled with, and he was smart enough to know that. 

You promised home, the kind I'd never known But here we are, skin and flesh and beating hearts And I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong

You worked in silence, as much as you could, the thoughts spiralling in your head, worse with each passing second, and although you didn’t want to ask, you knew you couldn’t avoid it any longer, not when he looked so sad and despondent, not when the gash in his back spoke to a battle fiercer than you wanted to picture, not when you couldn’t help wonder if it was all on you. With a sigh, you spoke, and watched as he went rigid with every word uttered.

“What happened, O’i’en?” 

“What do you remember?”

“Nothing. I remember falling… i remember Oare getting shot.” You wince at the memory, at how it was your unsteady, tired, distracted mind that made her a vulnerable target. 

“Nothing else.”

O'i'en's whole body stiffened, and your hand stilled midair, shivers pulsating in your body as dread enveloped it.

“What. Happened. O’i’en?” 

"After you fell... the battle... took a turn for the worse. A lot of Na'vi died, a lot of our mounts died, too..."

"The Olo'eyktan and Tsakarem tried their best, we all did, but without you and Neteyam..."

The guilt that was big enough to almost crumble you into a mess of sobs and broken shards on the ground dulled just for a moment while his words rang in your ears, echoing until they clicked, until you made sense of their meaning.

"Neteyam...? Where was Neteyam, why wasn't he fighting?"

His body turns to face you again, his barely patched-up wound forgotten in the moment that felt ever-lasting, but not like how time stands still as you're enveloped in a kiss, but like a nightmare you can't escape from, where a moment lasts hours, where every scream is expelled in slow-motion and the monsters get closer and closer with each breath that gets lodged in your dry, hoarse throat.

"He tried to catch you, but couldn't. I think he took you back to the village. He didn't return after. They say..."

"They say he hasn't left your tent since. We've all been working, trying to get everyone back, ready for the funeral, but he... he never left the Tsa'hik's tent."

"You're wrong." What he was saying made no sense. Neteyam has done nothing but wish for your demise ever since you were both nothing more than mere children. His hatred never diminished through time, and neither did yours. You both despised each other more and more each day, with every year passed, with every instance in which neither of you relented or found it in you to be better and take the high road. This whole ordeal, this whole nightmare that only started when you woke up, it was his fault. The fact that so many people died, that you were in this state, that Oare.... fuck. Oare.

“Where are you going? You need to take it easy.” 

“I need to find her. I need to make sure she’s ok, she’s probably in pain and suffering and I should be the-“

You stop when you notice his grieving grimace, his eyes fixed on the ground, tears falling at his feet, that you followed from his eyes to their demise as they splattered on the ground, the droplets hitting your ankles in the process. 

“No.” 

Silence. Dead silence. Death silence. Silence that you couldn’t help fill with a crescendo of denial, louder and higher pitched with every new attempt. 

“No, please. Tell me you’re wrong.” 

“I saw her… in the lineup.”

“The lineup?” 

“Of all the dead… dead animals and na’vi. So many of them, i lost count. She was there… I’m so sorry.” 

Your tears mingled with his own as they collapsed on your feet and on the grass, and you forgot for a second of your rule - no crying in front of people. You forgot this as you forgot everything else, even your own name pushed from your memory as it was flooded instead with images of her, of your sister, that you loved so much, that you cherished deeply, that you thought you’d be able to for the rest of your life, that you were now told was gone, taken from you, in spite of you… because of you.

“No…Oare, no…”

“She’s with Eywa now… I’m so sorry.”

You said, "Let's make ourselves our very own brigade, this love our shield, our blade" Oh, but darling do you see the cuts from which I bleed? It's me you've slain

"Have you seen her? Have you seen syä?"

"What do you mean, Lo'ak?"

"She's gone, bro. She's not in grandmother's tent anymore."

Neteyam felt the blood drain from his face and settle at the soles of his feet, trickling through and into the ground, until he was so empty he felt faint, he felt like he would never be the same again. So many emotions tried him, from ecstatic relief that he couldn’t even explain to himself, at the fact that you were awake, and well enough to walk, to paralysing fear that overwhelmed him, at the fact you were out in your state, that you were gone Eywa knows where, at the fact he’s now going to have to face you and talk to you.

Too many things have changed in such a short amount of time, so many things he couldn’t make sense of or understand, too many revelations and the possibility of more, of the truth, that Neteyam dreaded. A lose-lose situation, his dad would call it - either he confronted you and you told him his father misunderstood, that it wasn’t true, that you too loved him the way he loved you, which meant the last seven years of both your lives, everything you have put each other through would have been for nothing, or his father was right, and having a confirmation of your lack of feelings, which is what he thought fuelled your actions all these years, which was a truth he avoided knowing for a fact for so long, and that might be too hard to bear after all.

“We have to find her, grandma said she shouldn’t be walking around.”

“I know where she is.”

He’s always known where you were when you wanted to be alone. He’s always known because it’s a place that used to be his, his secret spot, his uncharted paradise. A place that he showed to you when you were both children, and that became a safe heaven for the both of you in time, that you took from him after your unfortunate fallout. Just one more thing you ended up taking from him in time. He couldn’t have returned to this place anyway, not with all the memories of you that plagued it, that might as well have been enclosed in a room stuck in a past that he never wanted to revisit. 

It took him no time at all to find you, his mind disassociating from the walk, until it was like he blinked and he was there, in the clearing that he dreaded coming to, where the last time he came, he took it too far, the memory of the words that you spat at each other, the way his anger physically manifested itself for the first time in his life, the way he lost control of his emotions and his temper, it was all so ugly and unsightly, it hurt him even thinking about it.

Your back was turned to him as you lay on the edge of the lake, one leg dangling mindlessly in the water, and Neteyam’s heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of you - your hunched shoulders, so far removed from the awe-inspiring, empowered stance you normally displayed to people. Your tail was thrashing furiously from side to side, ears pushed flat against your head that rested on your bent knee, braided hair tousled and unkept as it fell over your face, shielding you from view. Neteyam didn’t even know whether he should speak - if there was still a voice in his throat that could push sounds out, and as he tried, he heard nothing, the only sound in his ears one of muffled, panted breaths and thunderous, erratic heartbeats, that somehow drowned everything else out. 

"Leave."

Neteyam ignored your words, all of his senses focused on your voice, on the sniffles that accompanied it, and what they represented. Neteyam has seen you cry only a couple times in all the time he's known you, and not once since your fallout. He was sure you would have rather swallowed a poisoned knife's blade than show weakness in front of him. He gulped audibly when he realised that if you did, that means you knew... if you did, there was no escaping the wrath that was currently embedded in your soul, that he wasn't sure would ever leave you again.

“Why are you here? You should be resting.”

He heard you scoff, bitterness laced through your voice that normally was sweet as a yovo fruit on a summer day, that now felt spoilt, like it had been left rotting on the ground, with no one the wiser.

“Since when do you care about my wellbeing, huh? Last thing I knew I could be dead in a ditch and you’d probably throw a party and dance over my grave. Leave me be, I don't want to deal with you right now.” 

"Txepvi... Just co-"

"Don't you dare call me that. You have long forsaken the right to call me that. Just fucking leave, Neteyam."

He felt anger pricking at him like a dagger he was all too familiar with, that was dull and middling, but whose sting still hurt if pushed into his skin at the correct angle, in the right spot, where he was weak.

"I'm not leaving until you get back to the tent. Tsa'hik's orders." That was a lie, but one he felt at liberty to make, since it was quite certain his grandmother would want you back resting, and not galavanting in the woods, with a wound that almost killed you, that made you easy prey for the apex predators lurking in the thick foliage.

I didn't obliterate these walls for you to come and raid my home And here you are right next to me Ironically, I've never felt more alone

“Why did you stay with me?” 

Whatever anger he had immediately dissipated like droplets water of a hot day, replaced by the same fear that was plaguing him early, that not even the adrenaline coursing through his veins could overpower. What was he supposed to say? It's not like he had an answer to give you - he couldn't even conceptualise it for himself, much less put it into words that would make sense, that would ever satisfy your morbid curiosity.

“Answer me, Neteyam.” 

“I don’t know.” 

You rose from your spot on the edge of the lake, and when you turned to face him and your eyes locked, his breath lodged in his throat. You looked anguished, sadder than he's ever seen you, puffy eyes so red, it scared him, cheeks purple and stained, and swollen, wet lips opened to accommodate the heaved breaths and quiet sobs that you tried your hardest to push down, so that he wouldn't see.

It was too late, now. He could see. He could see it all, and it scared him, what you were doing to him, these feelings that were rushing down with enough force to make him buckle under their weight, just like a waterfall that crashed into the river below, warping it with its power.

“No, we’re not doing this shit anymore. My ikran is dead. People are dead, Neteyam. All because of us, because this stupid war, that you caused. That you started. I’m done with the games, and the mystery, and your stupid mouth staying shut. You don’t know? Figure it out. Now.”

I fell for you faster than I fell apart And I guess I'm the one to blame for letting myself fall too hard

"I don't fucking know, OK? I just needed to - fuck. I needed to make sure you'll live."

"Why?! Why the fuck would you care if I live or die? Why? You haven't cared for more than half our lives, and now, when you would have been more useful on the battlefield, when you could have prevented this mess that you caused to begin with, now you want to play the fucking hero?"

“That I started? Are you hearing yourself right now? I wasn’t the one that pushed, and pushed, and pushed until whatever thread it was that still bound us together turned from wool to steel and snapped, yawne. You made it your life purpose to ruin mine, at every turn, in every way imaginable, for years. I did nothing to you, damn it. I just stopped talking to you. I didn’t hurt you, or purposefully tried to make you ache or suffer, I tried to keep my mouth shut and go about my life, without infringing on yours. I didn’t do anything to hurt you, for fuck’s sa-“

“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam! You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that? Do you understand that you abandoned me? Me, Neteyam, the person who was always there for you, the person who always had your back. Your best friend, your confidant, your training buddy, your sister. I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."

"It meant everything! And my father fucking ruined it, and you ruined it. You ruined it, and I'll never, ever forgive you." the intensity behind his eyes, glistening with unshed tears that reflected the rays of the sun hitting his golden irises, the ones that put stars to shame and brought you to your knees, scared you. You came here to cry, and let it out. You came here to mourn. You didn't expect this. Didn't want this. But, for the first time in years, Neteyam was talking to you. Neteyam was telling you truths buried deep within his soul, deep behind walls you've tried to climb and pierce through longer than you wanted to admit to, and given the little crack of light you saw shine through, you knew you couldn't let this opportunity pass you by.

"What do you mean?"

He looked tired, you realised faintly. It was true... he did stay with you. His face was sunken and caved in, dark purple bags under his eyes, and you traced the tears that brightened his tanhì momentarily, as they caressed his skin, before falling down his neck.

"Tell me it's not true, what you said to him all those years ago. Tell me he didn't hear you right. That he misunderstood."

"Who?"

"My dad. I heard him... telling my grandmother that you'd never want to mate with me. Or be Tsa'hik. He said you said that. Tell me he was wrong. Tell me I was wrong for believing him. Tell me I was an idiot for not coming to you sooner, for shutting you out of my life. For letting this break me. Please."

Shock stilled you in your spot, replacing blood with current that electrified every ounce of your being. What? After all this time, so much time that kids were born and grew up, time in which you watched Tuk go from barely a babe to a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, beautiful girl, time in which you gained and lost your ikran, in which you gained a family and lost the future you thought you were always made for, next to the person you thought you'd always have your back... so much time has passed, and to hear it, the reason, was so unbelievable it didn't feel like it was real. You thought about the conversation that he was referring to, that you had with Jake in what feels like a completely life to the one you were currently living. He did ask you, and you did say...

"He wasn't wrong."

I ripped my heart out and put it in your hands in hopes that we'd put up a fight How paradoxical, since now all I can think about is when will we stop trying

You watched as the intensity on his face was decimated in an instant, his eyes blank and distant as all life seemed to drain from them as you spoke words that you spat without truly even thinking about it. Oare's death, still so fresh in your mind, hurt so much, made every fibre of your being scream in agony, and this new revelation, of the reason of her death being attributed to something you said as a little kid in passing, that he overheard and never bothered to fact-check, made what little sanity you had left to evaporate and what remained was a bitter precipitate of fury and pain, that you wanted him to feel, that you needed to inflict.

"This is why Oare's dead? This is why so many people are dead, because of one comment I made to your father seven years ago in passing? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Your teeth were bared as you spoke, and the emptiness behind his eyes was replaced with furious anger as he listened, as he realised you had no intention of putting his mind or heart at ease, as you realised he didn't deserve it. Not after everything that's happened, not after the way your soul crashed and imploded inside your body at the guilt that ate you alive, that churned and ground your bones into fine dust, guilt that will never, ever leave you.

“I was just a fucking child, don’t you understand that? Do you understand how insane it is to punish me for something that happened when I was just twelve years old?!"

“Well, you know what? I was also just twelve years old! And I loved you, Vi.” The break in his voice hurt you, like a shard of glass plunged in the soft of your skin, and you looked down to try to see if blood was coming out of the wound that wasn't there. There was nothing. Just emptiness, like the vast chasm that separated you, that always will, no matter the fact he was so close to you, you could feel his breath over your face, your scent in your nostrils, his glistening eyes big as planets, eyes you could get lost in easily, you could fall into as easily as falling asleep.

Seeing the unshed tears once more made tears gather in your own. The nickname, that you haven’t heard in all these years, that felt like a relic from a life long forgotten, long forsaken, knocked the air out of you, just as much as his vulnerability, that you weren’t used to seeing anymore did.

“I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“I had to watch you prove me right every day of my life. Watched as you fought every day to push me away from my own family, and my own dad, who obviously always found you better than me. Watched as you moved on, with no issue, and dated Na’vi after Na’vi, letting them touch you and kiss you, knowing I could see it, in practice, where I always was, I- “

“You fucking did the same thing! You pushed me away, you never talked to me. You abandoned me, without as much as a goodbye. Without any explanation. You fucked girls anywhere I could see, behind my tent, so I could hear you. You chose them all so they bore no resemblance to me, so I could know how much you hated me, every time I saw their faces. You ruined my relationship with the one person who loved me, who was good for me. You fu-"

All you do is blindside me, it's hard to be brave But when the night cuts into the day, it's your love I crave I must've thanked my lucky stars too much They left me sitting in too much dust

Your sentence was cut short by a pair of lips crashing into yours, soft and desperate, clinging on to you like his fingers were wrapped tightly around your throat, like if letting go was unimaginable, like it was too painful to envision. In your dreams, Neteyam's lips were bruising and calloused and cold, and no matter how fiercely you wanted to protest, no matter how much you hated yourself for it, they were the only lips you ever dreamt about. And yet right now, they were nothing like you imagined, nothing like you feared, and despite the hurt, and the pain and the anguish and the anger, despite it all, you couldn't help reciprocating, couldn't help the moan the left you as his other hand found your hips, holding you impossibly closer, while your own hands found the back of his neck and his hair, that you tugged on until he growled. When he broke the kiss and looked at you, hunger and ache clear in his bright eyes, that looked more black than yellow as his hand found your jaw, that he lifted to tilt your head back, pushing his thumb past your lips so you'd keep quiet, you let out a small whimper, and watched as his pupils dilated even more, almost overtaking his beautiful, molten irises.

"Just...Stop talking."

His lips found the place on your jaw where his fingers just were, and the feeling of him on you burned like molten lava, and you push your head back, giving him access to all of you. Your mind felt numb - a battle within itself as it was trying to come to terms with all the  crushing emotions that were fighting for dominion over your thoughts and your soul, each one more devastating than the last - from the guilt that you knew would plague you for the rest of your life, that you didn’t think you’d ever be able to overcome, to the grief of losing your spirit sister, to confusion over what you were doing, over wondering if this was a mistake, to the sadness at Neteyam’s confession and the knowledge he loved you, and you pushed him away without meaning to, to earth-shattering anger at the realisation that this whole ordeal started over nothing and could have been solved if he only ever talked to you and finally, to the hatred that still blossomed, even after all this time, and finally, the desire, pure, unadulterated desire to have him, to be owned, to know what it feels like to be wholly his. You didn’t know which one would win, but you could only hope there’ll still be something left of you when the battle found its victor in the midst of all the chaos. 

He was rough as he pushed you until you tipped backwards, but his caress was gentle as he caught you and made sure you weren't hurt as your body hit the damp, soft grass. When he spread your legs and kneeled in between them, you knew you whatever ounce of self-restraint you had was swiftly thrown out the window, and you knew the relief you'd get to feel once he was done with you would be worth the regret in the morning - at least, it felt so right now. His fingers dug into your thighs as they massaged upwards, from your shins to your hips, and when both his thumbs caressed the sensitive spot at the edge of your loincloth, your breath hitched in your throat, silently begging him for more, hoping he wouldn't make you say words out loud you could never take back.

As if he could hear your thoughts, he spoke, his hands stilling on the knot of your tewng.

"Tell me you want this. I need to know you want this, or I stop."

You hissed at him, conflicted beyond words and reason, because no, of course you didn't. But yes, you did. Of course you did.

"I hate you. I fucking hate you, Neteyam."

At your words, his hands dropped from your hips and in an instant, he was on top of you, his gaze stopping the breath in your lungs as he looked at you, his hand gripping your throat once more, the aggressive gesture at odds with the softness in his eyes and the way he was caressing your jaw in barely-there touches with his thumb.

"I hate you more. So much more. I still need an answer, yawne."

You stared daggers at him, and refused to talk, but as you wrapped your fingers around his cummerbund and pulled him in, until his lips met yours in a messy kiss of teeth and tongues, throbbing deep in you at the way he moaned in your mouth, you knew words were meaningless, and words couldn't convey the feelings that tormented you, anyway. You reached for his tewng and masterfully unwrapped it, feeling his cock spring free and slap against your abdomen, and the weight of it made you gasp, a smirk erupting from his face in response.

You needed him. You needed him to numb the pain the he created, that you created, you needed the emptiness that came from being filled to the brim, the fleeting peace that would come with the high that you knew he could provide, because it hurt. It all hurt, and you couldn't stand it. You reached your hand and wrapped your fingers around his length, your slick leaving a wet patch in the fabric, that was increasing in size by the second, just at the thought of how he'd feel stretching you out. He let out a small groan at the way you were caressing him, running your thumb over the slit, smearing the precum that was leaking, that you felt a sudden urge to taste.

"F-fuck!"

"Take off my tewng, Neteyam."

"For once in your life, you will not get to dictate how this goes."

Despite his words, he listened, and you winced at the weight of his body being lifted off you, instantly missing the contact and comfort it provided. But he wasn't gone long, as he removed your clothes, and you tried not too think of how good his gaze felt on you, how empowering the desire in his eyes as he took you in, how he had to lick his lips and swallow audibly, as if he was a starved man in a desert, and you were his fata morgana.

He took no time in attaching himself to you again, the thick head of his cock prodding at your entrance, and the velvety feel of him against your folds involuntarily makes you shut your eyes closed and your head push back, need heightening at the way he starts licking and sucking at your breast, leaving purple marks in the wake of his lips and tongue, that you want on every inch of you, that you wanted to cum on as he made your knees buckle and your vision spot.

His face finds a home in the crook of your neck as he slides inside you, taking his time to feel you, every inch of your walls, as they stretched to accommodate for his size, and it feels so good, too good, his cock in you, his tail around your thigh, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your skin, or gripping at your waist, his breath on your neck, his teeth sinking in you so he could stop himself from telling you all the confessions bubbling in his chest, all the ways it's all making sense to him now, that he's never hated you, he's just hated not having you, not being able to call you his. Still, as he bottoms out in you, he can't help some of them from spilling out, the dam of his heart slowly coming apart at the seams.

"It had to be someone who had no resemblance to you. It had to, Vi. Don't you understand? Because any time I looked at anyone, I saw you in them. Their eyes, or lips, their tanhì or stripes, even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You did understand. You understood too well. That's why you chose O'i'en. Because he was nothing like the Neteyam you came to know in the years you became an adult. Because his touch was warm and made you feel nothing. Because his eyes bore no resemblance to his, the glimmer of amber nothing like the green flickers that felt like were Eywa's inspiration for the forest that surrounded you; O'i'en's tanhì were scattered like light through the leaves and branches of the trees, unlike Neteyam's, which were like the star dust that created all life in the Universe, that shone brighter than any light post, that shone so brightly, they led you home every night when you were young.

The tears gathered in your eyes as he started a steady pace of his hips, conflicting feelings tugging at the string of your already broken and torn apart heart, whose heart beats felt dragging and echoing, different to the two sounds you were used to, instead pulsating three syllables throughout your whole body, enveloping you and taking over your mind, forcing you to come to terms with issues you thought you buried so deeply, you'd never have to see again.

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you, I hate you....

I love you.

"Neteyam..."

"I know. You're doing so well for me. So well. Fuck, you feel so, so good."

You moan at his words, the desire bubbling inside of you quickly reaching heights you wouldn't mind falling from, being pushed from, so you could feel the euphoria that came along with falling, without having to worry about the inevitable crash that would follow, at least not right now.

"I can feel you squeezing me. Come for me, yawne. I need to feel you come all over my cock."

For the first time since he's called you that, the term of endearment didn't feel ironic or facetious, and for once in your life, you had no problem obeying his orders - when you came, you came violently, legs shaking and back arched, whimpers and moans pushing past your lips unrestrained, and the sounds made his cock twitch inside of you, his own orgasm so close he could taste it. He lets you ride your high fully before pulling out of you, thick ropes of iridescent cum painting your abdomen and chest, that, in your fucked out mind, you almost wish painted your still-throbbing walls instead.

You know all my dreams, you were one, so it seemed And I love you but with you, it's heartache I breathe You gave it your all, just with everything you took from me

It was almost... domestic, the way he was asleep peacefully next to you, his breath so steady and deep, and so relaxed, it almost sounded like purring, his strong, muscular arms holding you close as you lay on your back, looking at the stars, bright, blurry orbs through the distorted lens of your tears, that couldn't stop falling, no matter how much you willed them away. The crash did come eventually, in the few hours since, and it felt like it broke all your bones in the process.

"You and me, we're meant to rise and fall together."

Those words, that became the overarching theme of your relationship, words that you never realised when you spoke them as a child that you would both take so literally, rang in your ears like a broken record your mind could no longer turn off. You were right, all those years ago. Even back then, you knew. You and Neteyam did rise together. From children to adults, from pupils to teachers, from toy soldiers to hardened warriors, rose you did, until you were so high up, the air was thin and suffocating. But nothing compared to your penchant for falling. You fell hard, from grace, from cloud nine, for the other's other schemes and plots, for your own compulsions, obsessions and greedy desires, and mostly, for each other. Your relationship was fire and ice, it was everything and nothing all at once, a war you fought and a war you lost, a war in which innocents had to die and lives were lost, a war you were finally tired of.

You and Neteyam rose and fell together, over and over again, your whole lives. A twisted carousel that wouldn't stop until one of you jumped off it, and with Oare's death, and the shame that followed it, you finally realised it had to be you.

In the early hours of the morning, after a quick wash in the cold lake, you found your way back to the village and straight to the Tsa'hik's tent. You were happy to see her, and nervous to talk, but you knew the quicker you got it out, the quicker it would be over. So with a deep breath, you spoke your piece, and hoped she'd listen.

“Ma Tsa’hik. I’m here to ask you to let me out of this arrangement. Please. I can’t do this, not with Neteyam. I’m done.”

Oh, my love Is this the end for us? Maybe we've had enough

taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia @afro-hispwriter @soleilmoon @crazy4books1 @bakugouswaif@randxmthxughts @xreadersstuff @sirezaya @kimberlyshailany-blog @gyuventure @jujudsmyst @kikookii @nxptury @nonniesworld @koing-slvt @bakugouswaif @isnt-itstrange @tpwkforevermore @alahamums @tallulah477 @gknj9495@aquamarine001 @itssomeonereading @yumimak@sweetbread-m@eqgroil @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @juneonhoth @yagirlheree @jackiehollanderr @legendarynoodlebowl @iameatingmyhair @justasimps-blog@hannabanana-09 @xylianasblog @misscaller06 @yeosxxx @myh3artttt @teyamsbitch@musicownsme @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @zoetrope1997 @itsmy-alteregohere @ntymavtr @curlszx88 @maki-z @riatesullironalite @baahsaama @luna-salem @teyamtesuli @koing-slvt @call-me-doll-face @puresirius-things @saturniac @call-me-doll-face @dreaming-of-the-reality @whorefortim

(sorry if i missed anyone this list is getting so longgg)

[thotfrnk]

jc couldve never abused jl, never. if jl showed even the littlest bit of fear towards jc, he would've lost custody a loooong time ago, jc should've never been granted custody in the first place as well. he was jl's MATERNAL uncle, he didn't have any true reason to be heavily involved w jl's life, let alone take part in raising him. plus his alleged sullied reputation that's constantly mentioned, the fact jgy called him a "mad dog" for holding onto chenqing, all the rumors of him torturing and killing etc etc. but he did, we don't really get to know how he got custody granted but he had partial, the fact jl is so much like jc also speaks to how much time they spent together, how jl says: "I'll tell my jiujiu about this!!" shows that jl trusts that jc will always protect him. so really, how could he abuse jl when jl doesn't even fear him but actively seeks out jc's protection?

do i agree with jc's way of discipline? not really lol. but this is ancient china and corporal punishment was the norm, I'm not gonna judge jc by modern-day standards on how to raise children, sorrrrrry.

there were three canonical instances of jc hitting jl, he never gave him a beatdown, but singular slaps, and for each time, jl was either putting himself in danger or did something stupid, but those instances never weighed out the many, many instances of jc coming to jl's aid, making sure jl is safe etc etc. also, jl himself said jc is all bark no bite, if jc was truly abusive towards jl, jl would never back-talk him or defy jc's words and orders, but yet we saw jl do exactly the opposite. interesting. jl doesn't run in fear away from jc, instead we saw when jl was crying on the boat and jc called out to him; jl flew to his uncle's side and jc didn't berate him for crying in such a way in public, we see him asking "who did this to you?" (mind you, that scene takes place after jc gave jl a slap for ignoring his orders).

UPDATE: needed to mention the one body slam that happened when jl was complaining to jc abt w.wx and lw.j leaving. this takes place POST ancestral hall + gc reveal, where jc was having a very public meltdown and asking ppl to unsheath suibian and was not in any sane state of mind. was he wrong to do that.... yes, he as the adult should've been able to control his emotions around a 14 year old. but I don't think this should make him abusive likeshdfehuddj

obviously you shouldnt hit children yeah yeah yeah, but like we're in a setting where corporal punishment isn't frowned upon lol like the punishments w.wx got when he was studying at cr??????? hello????? (and who gave out those lashings? l.wj but I digress). i think my only criticism is jc should've at least improved with his words, like I understand all he rly knows is the shit his mother and father told him, but ehhhhh. i like to think that he would try but jc doesn't seem like the type to heal his inner child.

maybe bc im indian and i got a good few lashes growing up, this doesn't rly phase me too much? idk, like I assume the ppl calling jc abusive are white lol. like I've heard my parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles recall worse abuse that they brush off as nothing (it rly was NOT), and it was nothing close to what jc did to jl, not in the slightest. i kinda see it more like "lemme hit u upside the head bc ur being stupid" and not "you fucking child let me show you who's boss"

[thecameronchronicles]

Retaliation

TW: Mentions of violence, mentions of domestic violence. Language. Smut. 

SUMMARY: This is what happens after Ward attacked you on The Coastal Venture…

WORD COUNT: 700

*REQUESTED*

@jules-cameron requested

Ok here me out, a rafe Cameron imagine where ward hurts you on the boat instead of Sarah and when rafe finds out he goes bat shit crazy? 

Retaliation

Rafe had been pacing back and forth for so long that he actually managed to perspire just enough to form a light sheen throughout his otherwise perfect caramel skin. But as he collected you in his arms, frustrated with how you'd frightened him with your absence, the sight of bruising left on your neck had been enough to still his aggression. Or at least redirect it.

"Which one of those fucking pogues was stupid enough to try and hurt my girl, huh? I swear if it was-" 

"It wasn't one of them..." You managed to confess beneath a raspy breathlessness affected by tears still present. 

"Someone on the crew? Just tell me and I'll take care of them, baby-" Your eyes widened at what he meant as you knew it meant bloodshed, but you were too horrified by the near death experience to do much of anything. 

"Please just hold me, Rafe..." 

He sighed but ultimately collected you, close enough to feel the jackhammer pulse of his chest against you. 

"Do I have to interrogate every single person on this ship to find out who's responsible for those marks, baby? Because you know I will..." 

"No...I-" 

"You've gotta tell me. You have to communicate with me-" 

"He's injured right now, I don't want-" 

"I don't care what he is. Asshole is gonna be worse off when I get my hands on him-" 

"Your dad doesn't-" 

"My...my dad?" His voice was suddenly hollow along with his expression. "MY DAD?!" 

"Please Rafe-" 

"It's bad enough he does it to me, God knows I probably even deserve it. But NOT you!" He charged towards the door as you were quick to apprehend his arm, but all this managed to do was make him turn this aggression to you. Your mind flashed to how this would go. You knew even if Rafe meant well for you, he would never be able to actually hurt his father. Not when he idolized him the way he did. And for that, you were trying to act in salvation to him to keep from him becoming lost to the regret that would swallow him afterwards.

"NOBODY touches you and gets away with it!" 

"Please, Rafe, just stay with me!" 

"Not until-" You silenced him with a kiss. As he tried to pull back, you kissed him harder. 

"Please. Just be with me." He wouldn't need to be told again as he would feel you take hold of his jeans and pulling them loose. In almost graceful moments you were undressed and pulled over him into a straddle as he prepared you for his penetration. But he would hesitate before offering it. 

"Nobody will ever hurt you again. I promise." He vowed while laying soft kisses on your bruised neck before sinking you onto his waiting cock. The slow penetration was newly erotic to what was usually, and even arguably, rushed. Even if you had spent hours making each other bend to sensual submission, never before had the insertion itself been this sweet and tender. 

"Nobody." He validated as you sucked a breath behind your teeth as he pulled you to such depths that he bottomed out, almost painfully, within you. 

"But me. In only the best ways." You nodded to his words before feeling him wrap your hair in a grip that would remain as he bounced you over his shaft. The welcome and hesitant release of each thrust was met with a chorus of groans and moans, pleas and the sounds of each of your names, until the deep pistons became manic poundings leasing to that mutual edge. 

For the love and passion he felt, you knew this in his possessive grip. And for the desire and need to protect, you felt behind each thrust. But it was the kiss to your lips as you whimpered against him, thay you felt it all. It pulled that rush of that orgasmic wave through your tribulations as he pulled you into a spin and onto your back before taking you for himself. Fucking you through that high, you watched him reach his own, adoring his features inflamed with lecherous need by your submission, before ultimately tensing and falling over you. 

"Come here..." He ordered as you were wrapped in his arms within your shared stateroom and falling off to sleep. 

You would awaken to the sound of the door coming open, the shuffling of your body having made him turn to face you. Your eyes would adjust in the nick of time, finding him moving in the direction of his father's room with the shadow of a gun in his hand…

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae

[unabashednightmarepizza]

ೃ⁀➷ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐒/𝐎 𝐈𝐬 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚/𝐘𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐳𝐚 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐈𝐭

ೃ⁀➷ Sano "Mikey" Manjiro, Ryuuguji Ken(Draken), Chifuyu Matsuno, Baji Keisuke

Warnings: Blood, fighting, stabbing, being shot, classic Tokyo Revengers dangers, mentions of sexual assault/r@pe

A/N: I was actually planning to write for more but I got carried away... If you guys want another part, please comment who you want! And damn, the amount of hardwork and patience I poured into this!

Sano Manjiro

• A baby at heart, a monster in gang

•Even though that's how he is known as, you knew for the better that it wasn't completely true. Ever since that one time he crawled on top of you after eating his dorayakis and dozed off, it was hard to take him seriously outside of gang life.

•Don't tell him this though, he will pout 'till you kiss him 🤫😜

• You really didn't remember how you got yourself into this whole gang/mafia mess again. One second you were happy that you finally got away from your family business, the next you're hanging out with Toman and dating their leader.

• Maybe it's a genetic thing 🤔

• Anyways, since your mother was the only daughter of a strong Yakuza family but wanted a somehow normal life, she married your dad who was another powerful mafia leader( huh, ironic isn't it 🤨), two families kinda united and BAM! Maybe, the strongest Mafia was created.

• And then, the ultimate prince/princess/ royalty was born!! The apple of their parents' eyes and the next one in the business. Jokes on your father, your mom threatened him with divorce if he so much so forces you to be a mafia leader.

• Jokes on your mother, you grew up with either seeing blood on your father after a fight or wanted to learn self defence. -Can't Imagine the smug look on your father's face 😏

• So, you became someone feared when your name was uttered. Your mask-which was to protect your identity- and weapons had been a nightmare to so many criminals.

• That was how the gang rules must be, at least to you. Don't hurt anyone, hurt who hurt innocent, never have mercy on them...

• Back to your chaotic life, it wasn't a surprise since you quickly befriended Emma, Hinata and Takemichi after your boyfriend and your bff introduced you to them. Hinata was the sweetest person ever, Emma was a bit obsessed(?) with Draken and Takemichi...

• There was something you couldn't put your finger on. The boy was sweet a minute, then cold the other. You didn't like it and even though you didn't want to question anyone, he was definetly hiding something.

•" Takemichi, you either tell me what's your deal or I'll never make my famous cookies to you and help you with your homeworks."

• Yep, that was enough reasons for him to tell you everything. You listened to every word, not believing him quite well. You put your hands on your knees and went up but before you could open, his next words planted you right there.

• "Your real name is L/N Y/N and you are a mafia leader but because you wanted a normal life, you never told anyone about your backstory. And you didn't tell this to anyone either so either I'm a spy who wants to kill you or what I'm saying is true. And we all know which one is the case... "

•He was right, absolutely right. So you stayed and listened to everything he had to say. How Mikey was a cold and merciless murderer and how almost all of the Toman was destroyed, how he and Draken argued and started to distance because of Pah-chin's stupidity to stab the leader of Moebius.

• After listening intently with knitted eyebrows in anger, you tched and got up, throwing your hands around.

•"That's bullshit! They're like brothers, there is no way they would split their ways like that!! Besides, Mikey? Murderer? I mean sure, he's childish and don't think before he acts but... but... How about me?"

•" Well, I don't know... We were never able to find anything related to you. It was as if... you disappeared..."

• Your mind was on overdrive, trying to think of a plan and not crying because you might be loosing your friends soon. And if Moebius was the trigger then...

•"Takemichi-kun... You said that Moebius was the trigger for the downfall of Toman, right?"

• He hesitantly nodded at you and widened his eyes at the crazy look in your eyes and wondered if he did the right thing by telling you.

•"But... If there is no Moebius, then there will be no fighting between them. I never loved those punk-asses anyways, I'd be glad to destroy them."

•"But, we can try to convince Mik-"

•"You can't. If Mikey decided on something, the chances of him changing his mind is low. Now, come with me so that we can make a plan."

• And now, Takemichi could only hope that you can really destroy this gang so that nobody would be hurt. Seeing Osanai in front of him and beating Pah-chin, he seriously thought you might die and even worse could happen.

•"The fuck you're staring at, punk?"

• And before he knew it, Takemichi heard a voice he knew. He gulped hard and hoped that everything would resolve peacefully.

• "I'd suggest you drop that hand, jackass!"

• All of the members of Moebius and others alongside Mikey looked at the source, only to see you, clad in all black and weapons with your famous mask. All of the Moebius gulped hard and sweated nervously but that wasn't the case for Osanai.

• " Who are you to call me that you bi- ARGGHH!!"

• What happened next is way too much and I don't want to traumatize someone lol. Basically Osanai was left with a broken arm and bruised balls. Seeing that Pah-chin was about to get up, you raised your voice and looked at him harshly.

•" Pah-chin, stay down and don't do some stupid shit! And you, Osanai!! I'm your nightmare and new leader! From now on, all of the remaining individuals of Moebius are mine!! If you don't believe, here. Look at this..."

• Everyone watched your men beat the shit out of every member and drop their now ex-leader. You put the phone away and kicked him for one final time.

•" Now, now~ How many people did you beat to death and how many women did you rape? I'll have to choose a different way to torture every single one of you~~"

• Takemichi did something he wasn't supposed to do in that moment, call out your name.

•When you heard your name and the sirens, you turned abruptly, not realizing the blade both Osanai and Pah-chin was holding. At their screams, you throw yourself away from Osanai and unintentionally stopped Pah-chin's blade. And after your mask being pulled off, Mikey and everyone else felt like they were thrown into ice.

• Mikey could feel a few veins popping out and damn, you looked hot but fuck, you were also in mafia? Why did you never say anything? And was that... your blood?

• You gritted your teeth in pain and looked at Pah-chin deadly which made him gulp. "Y-Y/N..." "Shut up and go away before I do some stupid shit, I'll deal with the rest." "But..." "I already avenged them and will make them pay but the police is coming and I'm the only one to stop them... Draken-kun! Take Mikey away from here and run!"

• Seeing the hurt look on your boyfriend made you look down and prepare your talk to him so that he wouldn't think you were gathering information about the gang and himself... Unknown to you, he was trashing on Draken's shoulders to reach you, not for the reason you thought but thinking that you'll loose more blood and get arrested.

• And Takemichi knew you changed most of the things and after you came back 2 days later, after dealing with that gang and police, you came to Sano house to all of the Toman and with their half-worried, half-not-impressed and you-better-tell-us-everything look, you gulped hard and for the first time ever since you got together with Mikey, entered the house with nerves.

Chifuyu

• I feel like he would already know, apart from him being smart when it comes to you, especially you, you were actually giving many hints

• Hint #1: Your never ending budget

• For some reasons, your money just never ended. He would always see you shopping, with your friends or alone. But honestly? You weren't even shopping for yourself. Emma's birthday was coming and since you saw her eyeing a necklace in the mall, you decided why not take out your black card?

• After getting everything you needed, you just wanted to spare some of your time to the bookshop near the end of the mall to see if they had anything new- which means manga for you and your boyfriend

• Which was a win for you because all the action and romance mangas you've been waiting for was there!

• What you didn't consider was seeing your boyfriend at the same aisle, buying mangas for you- basically the shocked pikachu meme-

• "Babe... What are you doing with all that bags?"

•" Fuyu! I bought all the mangas here for you 🥰"- Sugar mommy who?

•It's not like he doesn't like it, he does- he melts into that sweet and wide smile you give him whenever you'd gift something- but he's just worried for your family budget which earns him a playful wink and a noncholant "It's okay!"

• He just smiles warmly with a blush and thanks you, and offers to read them together in his room shyly which you squeal and hug him thightly- his mother is so close to scold you because you were buying so many gifts to them that she couldn't find anymore spare place

• Suspiciously thightly 🤔

• He knew you worked out a lot, and forced him to do the same, not as harsh at yours though and in the beginning he was worried you would hurt yourself but seeing you lift 350 kg with little difficulty, he wore heart eyes all around for a week straight- my lazy ass could never like wtf, how do people do that?

•"Y/N, are you sure your back is okay?"

•"Yeah, why not?" 😇

• Hint #2: Your Family

• I know I said he is smart but your family literally layed guns open around your house, not bothering to hide themselves and he was still like "Is it for self protection?"

• "Darling, love of my life-"🙄

• You weren't actively trying to hide but your mom? Your mom was making it hard.

• Pretty much Spy x Family vibes

•You were really considering just out right telling him but that would put him on not needed danger. Not that you can't save him but you would pretty much destroy the whole city if he was hurt- and you told him once, after your third date which he waved of as something nice coming from you...

• He didn't expect you to destroy a strong gang that was causing them trouble the next day.

• He was curious as to who did it and actually told you the whole story with his head on your lap, you pushing his blond hair away to smooch his forehead happily with your hands holding his softly.

•"I'm glad you liked my surprise! They talked too much shit about you, Baji-kun, Draken-kun and Mikey-kun! 😁"

• *cue the pikachu meme-d Peke J and Chifuyu*

•You weren't lying when you said you would do anything for him... How could you not when he was being the sweetest boyfriend to you?

• He would help you out with anything you suffered with, be it homework or your make-up, always try to lighten the weight on your shoulders by reorganizing your desk or helping you clean. Or sometimes, when you just needed the normalcy of a simple couple, you would choose a movie and watch with him with your cheeks full of popcorn.

• He would always smile and squeeze your cheeks, muttering a simple cute and kiss both of them which made you blush all. the. damn. time!

• You always felt... safe and home with him.

• For most, it seemed that you two were being dramatic but you were trully, unconditionally in love with this boy. Yes, your family was Yakuza and you were both safe and in danger but they weren't always there when you were a child, needing comfort more than anything...

• Chifuyu was your safe place for your inner child and you desperately clinged on him...

• So, when your late night date that was turned to a Toman meeting was crushed by some shitheads, you surely fumed with anger.

• You just wanted to give your gift to Emma and eat some dorayaki with Mikey, dammit!

• But for some reasons... These assholes seemed familiar, especially their "leader"....

• "Hey! Aren't you the pervert I refused who decided that causing trouble for my family was a good idea!?"

• "He did what?!" Chifuyu.exe has stopped working

• "I'm glad you remembered me, Y/N-chan~ But this time I'm not alone! And I came to get you from that twit!"

• Okay,okay so there are two mistakes he did. Mistakes that had him fucked up. One, assuming your were alone and two... Insulting your baby.

• "Did you just insult our son-in-law?!"

• Yeah, Spy x Family vibes... Remember?

• To sum it all up, Toman was shook, Chifuyu was shook even the bird on the tree is shook at the amount explosives and knives that was thrown around

• Chifuyu, on the other hand, was very worried about both you and your family. You made them all watch on the sidelines, much to Mikey's disappointment, saying that it was a family issue which resulted in with... fire.

•" Hahaha, Chifuyu you didn't tell me that your S/O liked burning things as well!"

• Baji could you please go and fangirl somewhere else? You're encouraging y/n-chan...

• He was shocked yes, but mostly flustered at both himself and your gorgeous form. The tattoo on your back, your hair flowing through the wind and your eyes shining when they met his...

• Stupid, Chifuyu! How couldn't you realize your own s/o being in mafia?!

• Even though his mind was on overdrive, he still noticed your happy form coming closer fo them with a huge smile... Why were you so happy though?? Like you almost killed a whole ass gang?

• "YOU'RE IN YAKUZA!? HOLY SHIT- WHAT THE FUCK! YOU NEED TO TEACH ME THOSE MOVES-"

•" YES, YES OF COURSE MIKEY! BUT YOU NEED TO TEACH ME THAT TRIPLE-"

• In the midst of all chaos, and excitement, you didn't see the same boy running at you at full speed with a very long knife

• But Chifuyu and Draken did

• "Y/N-CHAN, WATCH OUT!" "Y/N, MOVE OUT OF THE...way? Hell nah, I'm not dealing with this."

• Everyone screamed at you bit their voices died down when you lifted your leg high, making a perfect line with your other foot on the ground and roundhouse kicked him hard...

•"Ahh, my precious daughter! Always reminds me of her mother- CHIFUYU-KUN!? Y/N, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS DEAD! MY POOR SON-" -- ever the dramatic dad😒

• Widening your eyes and running up to him, not bothering with the blood on you, you slapped him to wake him up but unfortunately, all of this were too much for his poor heart and you just chuckled amusedly and gathered him to lay on your back...

• Now, you had three missions

• Mission #1: Wake your sleeping beauty up

• Mission #2: Gather all your friends and take them to your home to treat and have dinner with

• Mission #3: Prepare your tools to teach the perverted man and his family that no one messes with Yakuza

Baji

• THE BIGGEST SIMP ❤️‍🔥

• Really though, you never actively tried to hide who you were from him. He just didn't ask anything so where was the point of going to him and say "hey, y'know I'm a mafia leader, one that's so strong, and by the way my family wants to...meet...you?"

• Yeah, your nerves wasn't because of him meeting your family. It was more like, being scared of your mom's reaction at you dating a delinquent and you not telling the truth to your boyfriend.

• You sat down on the table, picking at your lips anxiously which made Baji raise his brows at you curiously before walking towards you, ruffling your hair.

• "'S something wrong, babe? Wouldn't want your pretty lips to be chapped,here. Use this."

• Like goddamn, this man knows every single product you use 😤 What a gentleman...

• Anyways, back to the headcanons.

• He could tell there was something very big and important going on with you since you were mostly carefree and don't give a shit for the most part. The nerveous eye twitching, biting lips, fidgeting on your seat... All of them indicated that you were pretty much stressed. But about what?

• He pondered a bit, thinking he forgot something or that... maybe something happened to your little kitten or or your parents!!

• Homeboy, don't show that you're a family man that much 🤭

• "Babe, you know you can tell anthin'. What got my beautiful so worried, hmm?

• If it wasn't that you were about to die, you could have melted right then and there. Arrrgghh, there goes the smooth yet raspy and sexy voice of him that makes my knees weak...

• You looked at him up and down and took a deep breath. "MYFAMILYWANTSTOMEETYOUBUTIDIDN'TKNOWHOWTOTELLYOUDON'THAVETOAGREEIFYOUDON'TWANTTOBUT-

• Well, that's... definetly an interesting way to tell your boyfriend...😅

• And now, you were walking hand in hand with him who was just chuckling at your expression while rubbing his thumb accross your knuckles delicately.

•"baby, you don't have to be so nervous. I know I'm not the brightest at academy or the perfect boy but I'll not back down from my feelings if they disapprove of me..."

•"Bitch, why are you putting yourself down when I'm the one who didn't come clean!?😤"

• Yeah, guess what stupid shit you have done? Come on, I'll give you a second!

• Thinking fucking out loud

•"huh? What do you mean? Is there something you didn't tell me?"

•"W-Well... haha, you see actually... yes, there is... BUT PROMISE TO NOT GET ANGRY!"

•All I can say is that he wasn't impressed. Like come on!! Can he even get angry at you?🤔 He didn't even get mad when you kidnapped his cats!! And don't laugh, that's a serious matter!!

•I swear, I'm not. Besides, how would I when you are acting all cute like that, he said.

• You fanned your face because you were feeling 🌠 THINGS🌠 Can you please do your simping later in the corner Y/N🤔🥲

•" You see... I never mentioned my family but there is something you-"

•" Is that the boy you were talking about, darling? He looks like such an amazing one!"

• Yep, your mother... was literally a blocker. And you didn't even realizd she opened the door and was looking at you both!

•"Mom! How did you open the door like that, it's heavy!"

•" I'm not a mafia boss for nothing darling!"

• Your boyfriend was shook, mouth open like a fish, looking between the woman in front of the porch, the guards and then at you...

•"You're in... mafia?"

• Well, after explaining literally the family history to your boyfriend, who was more like a giddy kid who was being taught how to bike, you waited for another reaction from him. Your father was sitting there with that scary scowl that made many die of heart attack and you didn't want Baji to be on the list...

• What you didn't see coming was that they bonded over their love for exploding things.

•" Honey, don't get me wrong, he's a very handsome, young boy who loves you a lot but... Couldn't you find someone who is not the replica of your father?" 🤨😑😐

• Yes, he was violent and enjoyed fighting a lot but if there was one thing he loved more... It was you.🥰

• You were the first girl that didn't run away from him when he was being extra violent or run after him for his good looks. You had seen a completely different, soft side of him when he was holding a few kittens between his large hands in the corner of the street, secretly playing with them.

• Those kittens, coincidently, were the same ones you would always feed before returning home. And after that, was history.

• His gentleness when it came to you, him leaving everything when you needed him, your late night dates that you hid from your parents, his warm hugs and soft voice when he was talking about you, always insisting to carry your stuff even though he knew you were capable, how he would always offer his jacket even though you could see the redness of his cheeks because of the cold...

•"No, mom, I couldn't... He's everything and even more I wanted."

• Your mother trully saw herself in you at that moment, remembering how she had fallen for your father and smiled cheekily when she caught the redness that started from Baji's neck up to his ear.

• "So, young boy... How long have you been sneaking my daughter out?"

• It could have ended with a disaster if it wasn't for the smirk your father was trying to surpass and your mother hitting his chest jokingly, telling him to not scare the young lovers. You didn't realize but Baji was holding your hand that was on his lap thightly with a lovesick smile.

• He made a mental note to kiss you as if there was no tomorrow and bring you gifts to show you how gratefull he was to have you in his life. And hot for being able to kick his ass❤️‍🔥- Your father definetly didn't give him the "break her heart or I'll kill you" talk, he rather said "Break her heart and she will break your bones" talk, which was the hottest thing he had ever heard about you.