#at least I think I did? when I first got into Star Wars I read a shit ton of legends books when I was like 8 years old

[galactic-magick]

Besties is it better to read the Thrawn books or listen to them? Cuz I’ve heard the audiobook version is extremely good but I also don’t mind reading an actual book

[olderthannetfic]

Ok. Dumb question incoming, but I'd much have a 'conversation' than try to read fanlore or watch video essays or something because I want to hear individual people's contributions.

Why Star Trek?

Don't get me wrong - I like the franchise! I'm not super duper familiar with it, but I do enjoy the bits and pieces that I do know. But I am wondering why that in particular is hailed as the grandmother of all fandoms? Obviously people were fannish before Trek, but I don't think anyone can deny the impact that OG Trekkies had on fic, zines, and eventually on the internet.

I know that it's always been popular and well-liked, but it's not as if there was NO SUCH THING as popular culture/fan culture before that (I mean, come on, the term "parasocial" predates the first Star Trek episode by 10 years!) . Was it just a perfect mix of timing + popularity + etc? Is there something in particular about ST that "hit different" than other series at the time? Or is the fandom really really just that mighty and it's almost "luck" in a way? I guess I'm wondering what particular dominoes cascaded in a line in order for Star Trek to have the impact on fandom that it does today.

or am I wrong? were there just-as-big fandoms before and I simply overhype Trekkie power in my head / happen to see more talk of that than I do of other fandoms? It could definitely be a social circle bias thing.

Ugh. Asking OTNF why Star Trek is so important to fandom history feels very much like asking a Russian History major why War & Peace is so important to literature - hence why I warned you that it'd be a dumb question! But I am just so damn curious what sort of crack was in early ST fandom that made it SO widespread and SO strong.

Like, I guess the TLDR is: what was particularly 'different' about Star Trek, either as a fandom or as a franchise or both, that made it Theeeeee OG fandom, rather than something, like, i dunno, LOTR or the earliest versions of Marvel/DC comics or General Hospital or something else like that?

--

I await the hordes of angry Man from U.N.C.L.E. fans eager to prove that they were first.

And, no, it wasn't that popular. Hence the aggressive Save Our Show campaign and explosion of fan culture when it ended after three seasons.

Part of the answer to your question is that there were like three things on TV at the time. What big fandoms? 'Parasocial' was about non-subculture people feeling warmly towards news anchors or hosts of variety shows or something, wasn't it?

LOTR got rediscovered in the 60s or 70s from what I hear, but science fiction and fantasy books were for fringe weirdoes. SFF was not mainstream for the most part. There are a bunch of History of Book SF Fandom things on Youtube, and you should consult them on the complex role of LOTR in that space. LOTR wasn't a mainstream thing until there were live action movies a billion years later.

The key about Star Trek is that it was a hit with the pre-existing book SF crowd. They were an organized subculture. Some of their favorite writers wrote episodes. Other shit on TV was for people who did not form subcultures in that way. Other shit for SF fans had an audience 1/10,00th the size.

MFU was insanely popular. Illya Kuryakin was the heartthrob of a certain era of girl and inspired many a Russian major. (Seriously, there are soooo many Russia-boos of a certain age who probably still have a poster of him somewhere.) The actor set a record for fanmail. The show may have more influence on fandom history than we think now, but it also didn't rerun the way Trek did, at least in some eras, and it didn't have sequel series in a franchise. I'm always finding 2015 movie fans shocked that there's a still extant and semi-active fandom—or even shocked that the movie is based on something.

Starsky & Hutch was also hugely important and is the moment slash fandom and "Media Fandom" really split from book SF fandom. As Trek fans moved on to buddy cops, they were into a completely mainstream show but in a non-mainstream way. Trek was an awkward bedfellow at SF cons, but S&H just didn't fit at all.

Of course, while Trek is the grandma of AO3 type fandom, don't forget that a shitton of modern fans who are doing "research" just look at the same few sources. Enterprising Women is great and all, but even other fans of the same stuff are like "Oh, that was just X's friends. Where's [thing] and [thing] and [thing]?" Ditto Textual Poachers and the other scant early sources that people think have academic weight.

While Trek would still be central, the picture of what was going on in the late 60s-early 80s would look a bit different if you just found a bunch of 70-something nerds and asked them than if you regurgitate other people's research, you know?

If you want an idea of what else was going on in SF fandom back in the day, check out Galactic Journey, where they roleplay that it's 55 years ago and review SF things "as they come out".

If you want to understand MFU, here's a vid of Illya:

--

What say you, readers?

What have acafandom and fandom history and meta left out?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Weird Strange Warmth, Thailand

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Oh it’s fucking great. What a fantastic start! It’s a fun cast too. I adore seeing all of the familiar faces. This is a lot more fun than Kidnap (sorry GMMTV, do better). I mean both shows are serving the same kind of concept but with completely different energy. I love that War is playing phi in this series. I think it suits him much better. In fact. I really like these rolls for this pair. I think they’re gonna knock it outta the park. I am so happy this is good. I wanted it to be good. And it’s good!

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 8 of 12 - Oh no! He read the journal. No snooping! Well I guess they needed to get some tension for these 2 from somewhere, otherwise they are too good to each other. Meanwhile, I’m not sure about the sides in this particular series. I don’t hate them. The laundry jealousy moment was pretty well done. But I'm not sold, either.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 5 of 10 - I forgot that we were already on the ICONIC kidnapping section of the narrative. I miss Gu Hai's OBEY sweatshirt from the original. (Someday I will own that sweatshirt.) Hero should at least be wearing an OBEY T-shirt. Frankly I miss the harshness of the original too. Johnny Huang was just so massive, August doesn't have the physicality to carry this scene off. Nor does Thailand have the guts to push it into the creepy obsessive territory that made the first version so thrilling to watch.

The thing about the original kidnapping bit was we could feel Gu Hai's vibrating need to possess overriding everything else (including his sense of humor and frustration with himself). Gu Hai KNOWS kidnapping was an over reaction, he KNOWS he is being absurd, he just doesn't care. Because he doesn't just want to fuck Bai Luo Yin he wants to consume him.

We didn't get any of that from Hero. Hero, as a character, just isn't edgy enough to carry off a kidnapping, he's been softened too much in this new Thai form.

And then... An around the back of head not-kiss? Interesting choice. (Checks to see if BoomPeak are hanging out nearby.) Is that because the actor is under age? We in that head space for this whole show? (Pun intended.) Not sure how I feel about any of it.

It’s a much milder confession this time around, because it’s Thailand, but it’s still warped. So I’m still here for the weird strange warmth of this damn show. I did laugh a lot during this episode. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - Oh I am very much enjoying this.

"You’re the worst kidnapper I ever ever met" is an apt accusation.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - I kinda enjoyed the little side romance story (wealthy writer intellectual + poor local salt-of-the-earth boy = Love Seaing all over my damn screen). It came outta nowhere but... okay.

I honestly have no idea what’s going on with this show. But the kisses are nice. And I pretty much like all of the couples. It’s wild how disjointed it is but simultaneously how pretty. It’s like Star Hunter got hold of Mame’s budget and aesthetic. 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Boyfriend era to the max. Production is still ignoring the whole "dreaming the future" POINT OF THIS SHOW.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Jane is VERY COOL. Like tay-style cool… as it were. I like their dynamic when they're given one to play with. It’s the rest of this show I don’t enjoy. 

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 5 - It cute. Bit odd but cute. I like the language play, of course. It’s an interesting pair to watch flirt because it’s all language play so that's fun but otherwise, I'm not convinced.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - This BL doesn’t drink from the water bottle to show off its neck. It quietly hands you the water bottle and expects you to understand that is not an act of generosity but of polite distancing. It's about the delicacy of the messaging, and the way themes are conveyed with such nuance.

This story is entirely about the two of them figuring out about each other, and then trying to be what the other person needs based on that information. It means they (and therefore we) are on this journey of discovering affection together. It's brilliant.

I must talk about the physical acting of these two for a second. That scene where they’re fighting over the book and then fall into the pool. That was one take. That’s amazing. These two are really fucking stellar not only at acting but hitting their marks. And let's be clear, that is NOT the same thing. I bet they both have stage training.

Define irony: watching two abandoned kids counsel their respective parents through abandonment issues.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 6 of 10 - It is stupid cute and utterly charming. They are total boyfriends. It’s just that one of them wants to be and one of them assumes they already are. Actually, nevermind boyfriends, they’re married.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 12fin - It made me whimper a lot because they’re both hurting so much. But in the end it was... fine.

Summation

The compassionate story of a college kid going deaf and the one boy he can hear. I love this manga and was let down by the first adaptation (Silhouette of Your Voice), so I was expecting a lot from this BL. I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, and the were, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. The acting is great too. But the story? It was just fine. They spent far too much time on the build to a relationship, then wallowed in their separation and a problematic girl character, when they should have been showcasing Taichi's character arc and his capacity for connection. Perhaps Japan should pass this one off to Thailand, It's a soft story centering on "food as love" so they might do better with it. I am, yet again, disappointed. 8/10 but I want to give it a 7/10

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - It’s fine. it’s cute. I enjoyed getting some backstory. More of the sides, please.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 7 - Honestly, why don’t they just call this entire series The Cheating Diaries and have done with it? I’m only watching it because there’s basically nothing else from Korea right now. But I’m generally mad about it. Including the fact that everybody is so pretty and the acting is so good in the series, but the stories are so terrible.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF 

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI & Viki) 6 eps - Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, HoTae & DongHee, return for a spin off backstory show.

It started out fantastic. And it was a relief to have a good Korean BL finally back on my screen, even a high angst one. But I did spend a lot of time trying trying to figure out whether they’re going to rehash or reboot from the previous series. Are we in Between Us territory or Don't Say No or (heaven forbid) To My Star 2?

None of the above, it turns out.

This was a pure prequel about lost first love. As such, it has no real finale beyond what we got in ULS. Which, for this pair, wasn't satisfying. Putting my disappointment over this aspect aside, it is enjoyable on the strength of the characters, actors, and chemistry (if not story). Yes I said chemistry, the kissing is fantastic, sometimes KBL can do that. This one featured the "teach me to kiss trope"!!!! Plus language play. Both favorites of mine. It is all angst, ache, repression, and miles of subtext. It did fudge the ending by not skipping forward and over the events in ULS to depict what happened next (what, no year long time jump when we actually need it, Korea?) It's a worthy companion piece, but should be watched BEFORE ULS for maximum satisfaction, and even then you're going to be left feeling like HoTae & DongHee's relationship was never adequately discussed or depicted in order to achieve resolution.

The little cameo of my baby in ep 5 was much appreciated. But the motorcycle should’ve been set up a little bit more. Of course I wanted it to be about them getting together after the events in the first series. But this was all backstory from start to finish. And while it was good backstory, it wasn’t ultimately satisfying for these characters. Still it’s a good little series. 8/10 

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love for fabulous high heat and pretty pretty men.

Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and it’s reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out. Not doing very well on binging and catching up but it's on the docket...

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Sept 2024:

9/15 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) 15 eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Love a teach me to kiss, teach me to fuck, whatever moment. (I Saw You In My Dreams sides)

Not gonna lie. I laughed. Addicted.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[stra-tek]

Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:

Ro/Quark is a thing

A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody

You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg

A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew

Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)

There's a TOS book that's a musical

There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9

YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA

YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco

We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity

Janeway/Chakotay is a thing

Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.

Kirk was married between TOS and TMP

Her name was Lori

In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing

Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan

It's not great, tbh

The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff

We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged

Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet

What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in

Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay

George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701

Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons

Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet

They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"

There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise

Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth

Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible

Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside

Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.

Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.

It's very underwhelming, nobody we know

We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split

Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger

A Borg Cube eats Pluto

Janeway dies

Janeway gets better

At least one TOS book features a wizard

There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel

It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others

Whole book series about Section 31

Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations

One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works

Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?

Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?

Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated

Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.

Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe

One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor

Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise

Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies

Kirk gets better

They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room

The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora

The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.

There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode

Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion

Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time

There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits

Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid

Kirk beats up Worf

Kirk's child has superpowers

Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6

The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels

About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite

Just like the TV shows and movies, then

Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect

Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right

McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped

Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine

Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here

Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha

You get to watch all the 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy

[sy-on-boy]

My 2 cents on the plot / thematic relevance of Ch 95

This is not about advancing Plot B or showing Anya's school life (which is still true but has been discussed), but rather the overall theme of education and war. There was an excellent post about how Eden is at the frontline of the cold war and it is subtly shown through the innocent lens of the first graders (I can't find it now, would link it if I could). And I think that perfectly applies to Ch 95.

Quick recap on some references about education/students/war throughout the series (that I remember at the moment):

Sylvia gravely condemning the Berlint University Student Terrorists during the Doggy Crisis arc (Ch 20) and saying "did you learn nothing about war at your university?"

Henderson talking about his experience as a history teacher (Ch 27.5, Short Mission 4) and quote: "Yes, well, I have always maintained that there is nothing to be learned from the memorization of time lines. From the grand efforts with which our forefathers crafted society to the foolish notions that sent them racing to war, to not study the human element at history's root is to not understand history at all"

Note that Damian's best subject has been established to be history, and his family (father) has been involved in war, at least Donovan was PM during most of the war (established by Melinda in Ch 91). Donovan is also a graduated Imperial Scholar (Ch 64).

The Red Circus group started out as a peaceful student demonstration "advocating for peace and quality" (Ch 72) and "speaking out to protect the weakest members of our society". And Billy Squire said, "We were a respectable movement that fought for our cause with respectable means. It was the state that turned violent against us. So I'm not taking criticism from a member of the establishment (referring to Henderson, an educator). I'm gonna see to it that they reap what they've sown." Billy's daughter Biddy was killed by the state at a protest.

Less of a point, but Becky is the daughter of the CEO of a major military manufacturer. Despite their very likely involvement in military conflicts because they sell arms, the Blackbell cohort has been depicted positively so far: Becky being a kind, wonderful friend to Anya, Becky's father doting on her, and Martha again being kind and dignified (and also being an ex-soldier and acquainted with Henderson).

Eden Academy is a major setting for SxF and the themes of politics, education, and war are embedded in it. The students involved in protests/groups are older (the university students, Billy's daughter), but the political implications remain even among the youngest of the students— the first graders.

Hence, Ch 95. When mere first graders are shown to fight to gain connections, which can be political as pointed out by Henderson: "In the world of politics, dances serve as major social events". But of course, they are kids, so they see it more playfully and innocently, especially Becky with her shipper lens on.

Of course, there is also the aspect of getting to know other people better out of interest (the boys asking Anya and Becky to dance because they were impressed after the bus hijacking). But as people have mentioned, nobody mentions this to Damian despite him being equally involved in saving the class (all three of them got a star). The girls aren't interested in Damian as a person, they're interested in him as an asset because of his family and their power.

And I can see the teachers trying to diffuse the tension and create camaraderie with their friendly competition. To me, this reads as the teachers fully realizing "the battlefield of political maneuvering", and they want to remind the kids to have fun, to show good sportsmanship, to unite the kids, to operate as a class and be friendly with one another, and overall make it more lighthearted. It's nice to see the classes work together and get excited / win as a unit, especially compared to the more "individual" bits of fighting for a dance partner later.

We get a bit of comparison between Bill and Damian, with Bill showing good sportsmanship while Damian scoffs at him. But Damian ends up becoming ultra competitive and telling his classmates to not screw it up.

Like the Dodgeball chapter, Damian is clumsily attempting to lead the class by doing good in his quiz, while getting stressed and yelling at his peers when they don't succeed like he did. So he's not really a good leader. Like how him being good at history does not necessarily mean he is good at being peaceful (Short Mission 4 ends with Henderson staring in exasperation at Damian + Anya bickering with each other). But obviously, he is merely a child, and he is naturally immature.

At first Loid is all for advancing Plan B and analysed Anya's suitors in a rational (reductionist?) way by ranking them in terms of gaining intelligence, but he remembers this is just a dance, Anya is a kid, and she should do whatever she wants. Loid (and the adults) are very aware of the political side of the gala, but ultimately they want the kids to have fun and not worry / worry less about politics.

Because they're kids! They'll grow up and learn more and be politically active later, but right now, they're just kids. Kids who don't know much about the world but are eager to make the world a better place.

In the end, we get a panel of Anya and Loid "teaming up" to win Damian's hand for Plan B / world peace. The Damian-Anya dynamic is cushioned with the silly crushy feelings, but underneath it, Operation Strix continues to be a core motivation.

I find it interesting that Endo chooses to focus on the first graders and their innocent view of the world / politics. It's embedded everywhere and especially in a prominent school like Eden, but the kids don't really realise it / realise the severity of it. Heirs and heiresses are educated at Eden and grow up to have incredible influence and the power to shape the world. Our protagonist's best friend comes from a family that manufactures arms. Henderson mentions the importance of learning history to avoid making the same mistakes (ie. war).

So Ch 95 is a cute prom chapter. But I think it also helps to show the themes underneath the fun, bubbly interactions.

[psicheanima]

i got intrigued by the fact that you did a senior paper on the witches from madoka - can you please tell us some more about that? i love when academic work ties to personal interests.

I can do you one better. You can just read it. Screenshots as it’s from a website. This is the actual final. I can’t include my analysis portion in an image because there’s a ten image limit on mobile. So it’s under the cut. And please be gentle, because I wrote this when I was 18.

Icebox Cake

Icebox Cake is the alternate name for the pastry Charlotte. This is of course a reference to the witch Charlotte, who the poem is about. This story is a direct adaptation of Charlotte’s canon backstory as revealed in the Magia Record Game. Charlotte is the only witch in this collection with a concrete backstory, and the only one who we know the real name of — Nagisa Momoe.

Nivelles Charaxinae

Nivelles Charaxinae is a reference to both this witch’s namesake and her design. The witch this story is about is Gertrud, named after the saint of gardens, Gertrud of Nivelles. Charaxinae is a reference to the type of butterfly that is in Gertrud’s witch form. The names of her roses in her diary entries are names of saints. I wanted to give her roses human names to show they are the true ‘humans’ to her, but also maintain a degree of disconnect. I think like Gertrud’s namesake, saints are the least human human you can be.

In case your words are all that’s left of me…

In case your words are all that’s left of me… is the only poem with a completely made up title. Though I want the ending of what happened to HN Elly, the witch of this story, to be up to reader interpretation, her feelings of having no real presence besides her online one was something I wanted to make very clear, so that’s why I chose this title.

The usernames are all references to songs sung by Marguerite in Faust. Faust is a work with immense impact on Madoka, having numerous references both visually and story wise. Most notably, quotes from it are littered in every witch labyrinth. Keeping with the theme of this poem being the odd one out name wise, HN Elly actually has another name— Kirsten. This is after Dorothy Kirsten, who famously portrayed Marguerite, which is why I paid tribute to her role.

POESIE SCHMECKT GUT

I based most of my references off the real life women the witches are named after. It shows most in POESIE SCHMECKT GUT. The namesake of this story’s witch, Elsa Maria, is Elsa Asenijeff. POESIE SCHMECKT GUT was a publishing firm for one of Elsa’s books. The base storyline is based off of Elsa’s unhappy arranged marriage, and the religious and star theme was already there in Elsa Maria’s labyrinth.

Guernica

This poem is all about visual art from the point of view of a girl who doesn’t really understand it, so I was a perfect person to write this. All the references were surface level, sort of awkwardly shoved in ones to famous pieces and artists. The title is reference to one of Piccaso’s most famous pieces, an extremely meaningful and striking abstract about war. For this witch, who is named Izabel, who does nothing but copy others, I couldn’t think of anything better to name her story, because I knew she herself could never find value in Guernica.

It’s raining again today. How long will I continue to be unlucky for?

There’s not a lot to say about this one, but I think the witch that it’s about, Patricia, would like that. The story is pretty self explanatory, but it’s one of my favorites because of that. The title is reference to a line in her labyrinth.

2 parts Absinthe 1 part Brandy 1/2 part Gin 3 parts Vodka 1 part Crème de Mûres

This witch, Roberta, is pretty special. First off, she’s an adult witch, the only in the series. She’s said to be fond of alcohol, which I tried to portray in the lack of grammar and punctuation, like you’re listening to the incoherent thought stream of the intoxicated. The title is the ingredients to her namesake, the Aunt Roberta cocktail, which is the strongest drink in the world.

Source Title: Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Source Creators: Atsuhiro Shinbo & Gen Urobuchi & Shaft Productions

Year Published/Produced: 2011

Setting: The series mainly takes place in the fictional city of Mikakihara Japan, 2011. The rest of the series takes places in the otherworldly “Labyrinths”, dark mental landscapes based on the inner feelings of the witch they belong to.

Plot Summary: The series follows a middle school girl named Madoka Kaname, who is approached by a creature named Kyuubey to grant her any wish in exchange for becoming a “magical girl” and fighting against witches— supernatural creatures that kill humans. Eventually, it is revealed witches are fallen magical girls who fall into despair and that Kyuubey purposefully creates this magical girl to witch cycle to feed off their sadness, as his species uses said emotion like energy to fight otherworldly creatures far away, to prevent the destruction of the universe.

In the end, Madoka becomes a magical girl to wish for all magical girls to get happy endings— which erases witches from existence, including herself, as all Magical Girls eventually become witches. This creates a paradox through which no one remembers her anymore, except one person, the girl who had wished for her not to live a normal life more than anyone.

Key Character Descriptions

Charlotte— The witch of sweets, it is her nature to be tenacious. Charlotte used to be a ten year old girl named Momoe, who became a witch after falling in despair at the death of her mother.

H.N. Elly— The box witch, it is her nature to be covetous. Her labrynth and cards all imply that she was an internet addicted shut-in turned internet-famous idol, who cracked under the pressure of constant performance.

Elsa Maria— The shadow witch, it is her nature to be self-righteous. Due to her religious imagery, many theorize she was driven to despair after finding out the witches she slayed as a magical girl used to be fellow humans. However, I based my story on her on the life of her namesake, Elsa Asenijeff.

Gertrud— The rose garden witch, it is her nature to be distrustful. Nothing is known about her backstory, so I constructed my adaptation for her based on the info we do know about her, such as the fact that “she holds roses dearer than anything else” and that, “she loathes the thought of humans trampling her labyrinth”.

Patricia— The class representative witch, it is her nature to be an onlooker. It has been said she used to be a normal, serious girl who was overlooked by her classmates. In the show, her wish is for her school life routine to go on forever, which is what I based my adaptation for her on.

Izabel— The artist witch, it is her nature to be vain. In her prior life, she was an artist suffering from a creative block who yearned for others to notice her. It is said that every art piece she produced was something “that you have probably seen somewhere before”.

Roberta— The birdcage witch, it is her nature to rage. Before she became a witch, she was a party girl living a life of surface level relationships, specifically with men, but secretly, she was disgusted by all of them. Her wish was for friends who wouldn’t dislike her.

Cultural Themes

The fear of being alone is a major theme in Madoka Magica, as depicted through the struggles of various characters. Sayaka Miki's desire to win the affections of her crush, Kyousuke, despite his lack of care for her efforts, highlights her fear of being unloved. She becomes obsessed with trying to gain his love, ultimately leading to her downfall.

In a more subtle way, Mami Tomoe's yearning for companionship also highlights the theme of fear of being alone. Despite her cheerful and big sister-like front, Mami is revealed to be deeply lonely and craves companionship. She reaches out to other magical girls in an attempt to alleviate her loneliness, but her efforts are paid in dust.

And of course, the biggest example of this is Homura Akemi's refusal to let Madoka die. Homura goes to great lengths to protect Madoka, trapping herself in a time loop to prevent Madoka from becoming a victim of the magical girl system. Her actions are driven by her fear of losing Madoka and being left alone in a world without her, to the point where she would even let the universe itself be destroyed to save her love.

Through these characters, the series explores the visceral human need for connection, and the disastrous consequences that arise from the lengths we will go to to obtain it.

The central message I want to explore in my adaptation is the prior lives of monsters. Through these stories of monsters before they "became" monsters, I want to delve into the idea of how the creatures of Madoka Magica, framed as so inhumane the literal art style changes for them, used to lead extremely human, flawed lives before the show portrayed them. Using a simple, fairytale-like style of writing and multiple types of writing, like receipts, reviews, and diary entries, I want to portray the mundaneness of their lives, and just how involved in the world they were. That they were real little girls, with real lives that impacted the things around them.

Motifs

The most common motif in Madoka Magica is fairytale motifs, specifically Eastern European fairytales. Witches, little girls tempted by strange creatures, candy houses. One character, Sayaka Miki, even has her entire story based on the little mermaid. She loves a boy, he doesn’t love her, she sacrifices everything for him anyways and then turns into a huge, mermaid monster. I aim to invoke this through my style of writing, taking a simple yet whimsical approach.

Why Madoka?

I like almost everything about this anime. The characters, the love they have for one another, the Czech fairytale-like art style, and that despite the dark themes, the story never supports falling into the darkness yourself. One thing I dislike is that the short 12 episode length, while making the series very “complete” also serves to stunt the potential of a majority of the characters. As the series relies on the connections these characters have, it would have benefited very extremely from a longer run-time to show us the chemistry between the girls and their loved ones, as the lack of screen time can make these deep bonds seem rushed and superficial. I want to try to convey the importance of those deep bonds in my work, but like I said, it’s a matter of time, not passion, so my adaptation can’t fix this issue.

Adding sequels and prequels has, in my opinion, sullied the impact of the original work. Madoka Magica is an intensely popular brand, and thus, is extremely profitable. Making spin-offs for the short series seems obvious from a business point of view. But a majority of these spin-offs are just made simply from this business point of view, and nothing else. One example of this is the most popular spin-off series for Madoka, "Magia Record," which takes place in the same universe with a new, expansive cast of characters. The show feels like a cheap imitation of the original series. Instead of trying to explore new interesting themes or go into depth on the topics brought up in Madoka, it’s just trying to recapture what made it so special without truly understanding why it was so special in the first place.

One of the primary cultural fears explored in Madoka Magica is the fear of death, specifically the death of the ones you love. At the end of the series, it is revealed that Madoka’s aloof best friend, Homura, is actually in love with her and has been stuck in a time loop trying to prevent Madoka’s death, which proves unavoidable. The finale deals with Homura stopping the time loop and accepting her crush’s death, and that the world will move on without her, and so should she. The series tells us death is natural, it happens to all of us, and we cannot stop it. But we can honor the ones we loved and lost and step into the future as they would want.

[mischiefmaker615]

The Boy is Mine

Rating: R

Summary: Loki finds you after dark.. but who owns who? 

Note: Based off the song The Boy is Mine by Ariana Grande

Requester: @Laer111ee (wattpad)

*Insert slut song here First and play as you read LOL*

Your hips swayed from side to side as your fingers gripped the pole firmly to keep your balance. Shifting your weight as you swung yourself, arched your back and flipped your hair, all were the main ingredience to get the big bucks coming, especially with those regular fat cats in the audience that continued to gawk at you for the 5th day in a row. It paid the bills at least, kept your head away from other problems and.. you just really loved to dance.

Your hair was loose, make up was light but still captured a sexy look, you ditched the ridiculous high heels and just put on the shorter ones that almost said ‘sexy business woman’ and you had your favorite black outfit that almost resembled slave Leia from Star Wars.. or at least, that’s what that one guy shouted from the audience that one time.

As soon as your last song ended, you struck your pose and closed your eyes, catching your breath with a smile as the feeling of paper brushed against your exposed skin as people threw cash and cat called. After a moment, you collected it all after a corny bow and headed down the stairs for the next girl to take over.

‘’hey Y/N, some fella in curtain 5 paid for a private dance’’ your boss whispered before you could get to the back rooms. His grip on your arm indicated his usual ‘I’m telling’ not ‘asking’.

Your eyes glanced over at the closed curtain room, as if expecting to see the gentleman right there and glanced at your boss with a sigh. ‘’fine, then I’m done for the night.’’

‘’sure.’’ He waved off and disappeared elsewhere.

After placing your bag in your locker, tiding yourself up a bit and even changing into something similar, just with more exposed leg space for your usual lap dances and headed over. Ignoring the stares and cat calling as you pass people, you paused at the curtain and took a deep breath- knowing you’ve done hundreds but it was just to prepare for.. anything, and went in.

“hello darling, you’ve never mentioned about your little side business..’’

You stopped dead in your tracks with wide eyes and queasy stomach. Your body ran a cold shiver up your spine as you remained a deer in the headlights at who sat before you, manspreading and comfortable, rocking his perfect black suit and your expression was still.

Snake..

‘’what the hell are you doing here?’’ you managed to squeeze out, your voice not indicating any anger but more.. uncertainty as you glanced at the curtain behind you to make sure it was closed.

‘’don’t worry darling, I’ll keep your little secret’’ Loki smirked and laced his fingers together before him with a cross of his legs. ‘’but might I say, you do look ravishing, especially displaying your skillset and.. assets on stage’’ he smirked, trying to get a rise out of you.

So he had been there that long.. your eyes narrowed in challenge as you remained calm. At least on the outside. Loki has been your long-time crush for a long time, having seen him amongst the tower many times to share some playful bickering and knowledgeable conversation here and there. He was someone to keep things interesting, never boring and got your mind to always think- unlike the dull and self-centered males that also occupied the tower. Most of them anyway. Being an Avenger was also your job, but you just couldn’t give up your first job here when Stark offered you the position, so you worked both, this one obviously in secret- until now.

‘’how did you know I was here?’’ you questioned, crossing your arms as worry showed on your brow nevertheless.. for some strange reason you trusted he would keep your secret- it didn’t mean he wouldn’t use it against you though.

‘’the tower tends to get rather boring, and most of your Midgardian locations don’t suit my interest. But you do, you’ve always have..’’ his voice got dangerously low as he leaned forward as he spoke. ‘’so, I followed you. you tended to disappear every evening and I got curious’’ he smirked.

You looked away a little as he spoke, glad the dim lighting hid your blush you felt come to your cheeks as you took a deep breath. Were you really going to do this? ‘’..you know I could always refuse you right?’’ you challenged out of curiosity.

‘’true,’’ he shrugged, relaxing back on the couch as he watched you, his eyes slipping down from yours a few times. ‘’but I could tell a part of you actually wants to do this,’’ he smirked, his eyes flicking up to yours again. ‘’and I don’t even have to blackmail you.’’

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at each other, almost daring to see who would do what first, but unfortunately it was all you. he was the customer and you hated that he was right. He wasn’t just a customer; you had wanted him for a long time; there was no use in denying it. if you had to do this, you were going to take your time and take charge. You will not give him a chance to belittle or doubt, this was your job and you were good at it.

As if on que, the music had started playing again and you wished you had taken a shot of tequila while you had put your stuff away, because the way he gazed at you now was making it hard to focus. He was sat back, limbs loose and relaxed as if he had been drinking a bit himself. His legs were a bit more together now, his slender hands resting at his thighs as his eyes drank you in now. His expression was difficult to read, but you could tell by his deep breathing and how now and again he would shift a little, that he was aroused, and that made you extremely powerful to offer your own smirk.

Taking a small step forward to be more in the center of his room, you kept your half-lidded eyes on him as your hands gently brushed over your thighs, slowly swaying your hips in the beat of the music while they slowly rose and flattened a little at your covered center.

His chin tilted up as his eyes seemed to pry, almost as if trying to look right through your clothes themselves as he swallowed and remained his composure. Your body slowly turned, showing off as your hands slowly rose around your hips and brushed against your perfect ass with your cut dress covering your intimate parts before you slowly faced him again while you gripped your chest.

Your eyes closed then, as if your own touch alone could make you orgasm and your fingers traveled into your hair while your lips parted. While your eyes were closed as you moved to the music, Loki’s hands briefly brushed against his pants as he began getting antsy, his jaw tight but he remained patient as he drank you in. gods you were beautiful, and you both knew it. the fact that he also knew your personality form your encounters at home as well he felt you were all the sexier.

His breath hitched when you placed your hands on his knees, feeling him having no rejection as you leaned forward and he took advantage of the view of your cleavage. Feeling his tense but loose limbs, you pushed his legs apart, standing between them as you remained holding eye contact and you smirked, seeing a small flash of defeat in his eyes that he hated and loved at the same time.

You had the upper hand now.

You turned yourself and slowly, just ever so slowly to tease him- more- began grinding your ass on him. depending on the package, it could involve touch, but you still weren’t expecting your breath to hitch when you felt his slender hands rest at your hips, his finger tips lightly digging into your flesh as he used strained control to bring you harder again him. speaking of..

By the gods he was huge, and you could feel yourself getting aroused every time he pulled and you pushed your cunt against his hard cock. You almost felt like you could salivate as your grinded more into him, hearing him growl as his grip strengthened ever so slightly, as if to stop himself from slapping your ass. You had him where you wanted him and pulled away, his fingers hesitating to let you go as you turned around to face him and placed your hands on his shoulders with do-me-eyes.

Loki’s lips parted weakly as he remained himself to breath, his eyes looking up into yours as if silently begging for you to take him. you wanted to.. if you wouldn’t get fired. Though it didn’t mean you couldn’t tease him a bit as you got onto his lap, your thighs resting against his while your cunt began grinding itself again on his bulge.

His hands went back to your hips as fast as magnets, wanting to grope and touch but he was unsure if he was allowed. You felt him squeeze your flesh as he leaned forward, making you grip his shoulders more as he inhaled your scent with fluttering eyes closed.

This gave you the perfect opportunity to lean forward and run your tongue teasingly up his neck, making your body lift as his cock got impossibly bigger to raise you. his eyes shock open with blown, hungry pupils and his own cologne filled your sensed as you gazed at him. he gave you a frustrated breath, his hips almost thrusting up as if he forgot you both were clothed.

Just to add fuel to the fire, your hands ran down his chest and took his wrists, pulling them off your thighs to rest against your chest as he eagerly began to massage and knead. His eyes never left yours as he almost seemed to study you, admiration on his features as if he never thought this moment would be possible- and he was still trying to believe it.

his thumbs ghosted under the edge of your bra at the bottom-if you want to call it a bra. It was thin as paper, you might as well of not have been wearing one as his movements slowed, asking silent permission as his teeth grasped his bottom lip lightly. Giving a small smile with a nod, his thumbs lifted the bra forward enough to slip his hands in and he almost shuddered in pleasure as he grasped your globes. Your head almost fell back as you moaned, slowing your griding at his bulge to deep, long strokes and you felt a warm tongue run up your neck.

You pulled away just enough to give him a playful smile as he shared one, knowing it was a pay back tease before a hand left your chest to move to the back of your head. It moved it forward, his fingers lightly grasping your hair as he tilted your head up and began sucking at your neck. Your hands went to his shoulders, nails digging into his suit as your own body shuddered in pleasure. He left open mouth kisses below your jawline and ran his tongue to your collar bone.

‘’F-Fuck..’’ you breathed before there was a knock outside the room.

‘’hey Y/N, I’m not paying over time.’’ your boss called and you realized the music had stopped.

Loki pulled away and removed his hands to rest at your hips, looking up at you curiously as you both caught your breaths.

‘’..the songs over..’’ you whisper, your eyes breaking contact as you use his shoulders to help yourself off of him and he keeps his hands on your hips for as long as possible as he lets go and stands up.

His height reminds you just how different you both are as you brush and straighten your clothes before you feel his hand at your chin and lift it to look at him. his expression was gentle but deadly serious and seriously still aroused.

‘’what time are you off?’’

Your blush darkens and you could feel your arousal as your thighs close tight. ‘’now-‘’

He leans down a bit, his knees bending to accommodate his height as he holds your eyes hostage and your noses almost touch.

‘’then this is most certainly not over.’’

Tag List: @foxherder @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz

Note: Thank you for reading! it's kind of like a series~ you send songs, i write based off of them LOL More on my masterlist!

~Funny *on the subject*

[pinazee]

First season wrap up:

Okay, to start, i should mention my general opinion on first seasons for shows, especially cable shows, is not to read too much of it as canon. The writers, producers, actors- everyone- are all trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t, so i give them latitude, particularly when it conflicts with later seasons. That being said, i do enjoy jumping through the hoops to make it all fit haha

So heres a few leftover notes i had as i revisited the eps to rank them:

I bet part of Lassie was craving the father figure in Henry, since we find out later his own father passed away when he was quite young. I wonder if thats part of the reason why he became a cop, as they are portrayed as the protectors and in the 80’s they were mainly men (i don’t really remember if he states his reason later, i suspect he did and im just not remembering). So when Henry didn’t meet up to the expectation he had in his mind, i bet it hurt a little more as it reminded him of what he lost :/

I think the other reason Shawn plays dumb so much, besides hiding his genius so ppl believe hes psychic, or for laughs, is because its how he gets people talking. Like in Shawn vs. the red phantom, he purposely guessed the wrong room number so the boys would correct him. My apologies if someones pointed this out before, i haven’t combed through the internet for everyone’s theories 😬 i only now noticed. I’m not the quickest at picking these things up lol

If i had to guess, Shawn didn’t want to be a cop for halloween, he probably wanted to be something star wars related to go with Gus’s Lando. So i wonder at what age Shawn stopped trying to please his dad. But also, why didn’t his mother ever stand up for him?? I’ll come back to her later -_-

I somehow missed it the first time, but shawn clearly asked Gus to come to the dinner and Gus even points out that it was a big deal for henry to reach out. Soo, yeah, shawn obviously didn’t wanna be alone with his dad, and even henry seemed nervous about it as hes pretty drunk.

Shawn has a right to be afraid of pointy things, his dad hid his easter eggs under glass when he was 6! Not to mention he later gets stabbed 3 times! (Also its just a legitimate fear???)

So far the list of Shawns knowledge (things i wouldn’t expect an average person to know) includes (beyond the obvious observational skills, deductive reasoning, reading people (poker), and all things police (marksmanship, police codes, etc.)):

Incredible spatial and physical reasoning skills (knowing how much money could fit in the duffle bag, knowing to rotate the water pitcher to catch the reflection from the tv)

Kurt Vonnegut (well, I didn’t know who he was at least)

How to spell aggiornamento (and probably all words because of his photographic memory)

Handwriting expert

Casually spoke and understood german

Has every road he’s driven mapped in his brain, and likely all of Santa Barbara

Familiar with paint (enough to know to mix latex enamel for no messy drips)

Animal tracks (i went back and forth on this but ultimately decided he must have known what to look for)

And heres a list of Gus’s niche interests:

Forensics

Spelling bee

Safe cracking

Historic rifles

Comic books

Astronomy (even though he was going to the planetarium for the girl)

Law

Local tennis

Online poker

Lastly, Ive decided instead of ranking them, im putting them in tiers. I feel like too many of them are hitting at the same level and I can’t differentiate:

Sweetest, Juiciest Golden Pineapple Tier

Scary Sherry, Biancas toast (ohmygod i just got the biancas toast 🤦🏽‍♀️)

Blue Psych Logo Tier

Weekend warriors

Forget me not

From the earth to starbucks

Poker? I hardly know her! (Sorry @pineapple-psychic!)

Pepto Bismo Pink Tier

Spelling bee

Pilot

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me oops hes dead

Who ya gonna call?

Shawn vs the red phantom

Oops Canadian Flag Tier

Cloudy with a chance of murder

9 lives

Game set muuurder

Speak now or forever hold your piece

Woman seeking dead husband, smokers okay, no pets

[leaderpinhead]

Ace - Overachiever Syndrome

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial current prompt.

“You know this paper is only five hundred words, right?” 

The stack of books landed on the table with a heavy thud. Someone from across the library loudly shushed them for the noise. Ace ignored the shusher, as did everyone else, and groaned when Yuu opened the first book in the stack. “You’re not even gonna be able to read that before our next history of magic class!” 

“I’m done!” Grim exclaimed, earning them another “Sssshhhhussshhh!” Grim proudly held up his paper. “Trein’s gonna give me a gold star when he sees this!” 

Deuce leaned across the table and squinted at Grim’s wobbly handwriting. “The...Queendom...of...Roses...is...gi..gib?” 

Ace snorted on a laugh. “Those first-grade reading lessons are finally paying off.” 

Deuce’s cheeks turned red. “It’s not my reading that’s the problem! Grim’s handwriting is barely legible.” 

“What d’ya mean you can’t read my handwriting?” Grim flattened the paper on the table. His paw perfectly fit the inked paw print he had left behind on the bottom corner of the paper. “It’s perfectly readable!” 

“You misspelled big! The b is at the beginning.” 

“That is a b! You just can’t read!” 

While Deuce and Grim argued—the shusher interrupting with a few shushes—Yuu flipped through the thick textbook. Ace rolled his eyes and started balancing his pencil on the tip of his nose. “Are you seriously about to do a binge study session? We’ve got homework in three other classes to do 

“I’m glad you’re taking our assignments seriously,” Yuu said. She kept flipping through the book. Her speed would have impressed someone like Deuce, but Ace knew better. She wasn’t some super-genius with a photo memory who could skim a whole textbook in fifty seconds and retain everything. She was looking at all the pictures at the most. “So you understand why it’s important I do research for this assignment.” 

Ace groaned and let his pencil roll off his nose to bounce on the table. “Doesn’t that defeat the whole point though? Trein said the paper was to assess what we already know about the Queendom of Roses.” 

“That’s easy for someone like you who grew up in the Queendom of Roses,” Yuu countered. She was about halfway through the textbook now, and she paused on a photograph taking up one whole page. “Unlike you, I didn’t grow up in Twisted Wonderland. So how am I supposed to write five hundred words about a place I don’t know?” 

“Easy.” Ace twirled his pencil through his fingers and grinned. “Just write I don’t know anything five hundred times.” 

Yuu crumbled a piece of paper for the single purpose of throwing it at Ace’s head. “I think I'm going to do it my way, smartass.” 

Ace batted away the paper ball. “Suit yourself.” He pointed at the stack of books she had collected. “You know there’s, like, fifty books in that series, right?” 

Yuu’s eyes widened. “Fifty? Are you sure?” 

Ace nodded. “Yeah. War in the Queendom of Roses, right? It’s way popular in the Queendom of Roses even outside of school. Riddle quotes it at least once a day.” 

“Fifty,” Yuu repeated, her voice soft like she didn’t even realize she spoke aloud. She didn’t react to Grim flying across the table to tackle Deuce in the face. “I only saw these books on the shelves...” 

Ace shrugged. “Maybe the librarian put the other books in different sections. Not all of them are about history. One of them is a straight-up cookbook. Trey’s got that one in Heartslabyul’s kitchen.” 

Yuu stood from her chair. Her eyes shone with a new determination. “I need to find those books.” 

“You need to write your paper, so we can get out of here!” 

“I can’t understand the Queendom of Roses without those books.” 

“Do you not know how convoluted the history of the Queendom of Roses is? Riddle can’t even give you a timeline that’s 100% accurate!” 

Yuu punched the palm of her hand. “I’ll start with the Queendom of Roses and then move on to the history of the countries in the Shaftlands.” 

“We’re not even supposed to start on the Shaftlands until next semester!” 

Yuu completely ignored him and disappeared into the bookshelves. Ace groaned and slouched into his chair. “Man! If I had wanted a Riddle-study-session, I would’ve just gone to the dorm.” 

Deuce and Grim ignored him too, the two of them loudly wrestling on the floor. Whoever had been shushing them had given up, and Ace had the sneaking suspicion the librarian would soon be around to kick them out. He threw the paper ball at the back of Grim’s head just to be sure the librarian had a strong enough reason to kick them out. 

It took Yuu getting into a loud argument with a Scarabia student over War in the Queendom of Roses Vol. XLII for the librarian to finally expel them. The next morning, Yuu turned in a thick stack of papers for her assignment. When Trein only stared at the stack, Yuu shrugged. “The instructions were to write at least five hundred words.” 

Trein was very strict about the length of the rest of the assignments he gave them. 

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Star Wars doesn't need to let the dark side be more interesting.

Oh boy. Like I said in my last post about star wars. I live, breathe, and shit star wars its my favorite sci-fi.

Without watching the video and only focusing on the title is that the dark side is already interesting because of how mysterious it is. All the people who are naturally connected to the dark side of the force are all gone, and the now and day sith keep everything close to their chest. The dark side is called that because of how rarely people shine a light on it.

Now to the actual video... why does Lily have to be so mean about it? She brings up how people would like to see more Star Wars without the force involved to be able to see the galaxy in a bigger light, to which she says those people lack vision and that what we really need is more sith characters. 😮‍💨 just go watch tales of the empire then.

Something that Lily needs to know is that anger and hate aren't one in the same. She brings up Yoda's monolog but still doesn't understand it or the Jedi's thoughts about emotions and how they view them. For those who don't know Yoda's monolog goes like this

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

When he says that, it's supposed to make you think more clearly about your emotions to be mindful of them. The Jedi's main advice when dealing with negative emotions is to meditate, which is genuine good advice, and she would know that if she actually went to therapy. They aren't telling you not to be angry just to not let that anger consume you because that will make you do things you will soon come to regret, making you fall deeper.

Think back to when Anakin found out his mother was taken by the Tusken Raiders, and when he found her, he was too late, and she died in his arms. Now, he had a right to be angry about what they did to her. The Tusken Raiders was just another reminder of how much Tatooine had stolen from him how much he hated the planet. But notice how him taking revenge wasn't labeled as a good thing when he got back home with his mother wrapped up, in his arms and after she was buried he confided in padme that he was so anger that he didn't just kill the men responsible but the women and the children too that he was so consumed in his grief that he wasn’t even thinking and by the time he realized what he had done it was far too late and the whole tribe was dead. Or how about when Anakin thought Padme had betrayed him and he started to choke her out the dark side had twisted his mind into thinking and doing things he wouldn't do he might not have killed Padme but he was pretty close to it all because he was consumed with hate.

Part of me thinks Lily hasn't read the high republic or the old legends before the republic, and the Jedi order was corrupt the Jedi prided themselves as peace keeper and negotiators when a war was about to break out on a planet you sent or asked for a Jedi to help stop it before it happened for fuck sakes the first thing you hear in the phantom menace is people calling Obi Wan and Qui gon negotiators.

Can we also not use the death of George Floyd to make a shity star wars take??? Why did you have to bring up the real death of a police brutally that hadn't even hit the two year mark of the video? If you have to make a comparison to a real-world death, at least make it from ten or twenty years ago. We'll add that to Lily being an insensitive jerk tally board.

I was going to end the post with that, but as I continued to watch the video, Lily said something that made me stop in my tracks, and that was... Leia is technically a sith because she follows the sith code to a tea...

Bitch what?!?!

Leia, while being strong in the force and training with Luke, fought in the rebellion for the sake of peace she doesn't want people to die or another planet to blow up both her and Luke are what the Jedi once was. Peace keepers that want peace for them and everyone around them. Leia is, first and foremost, a politician and more over a freedom fighter she fights for freedom the sith have only ever fought for themselves.

Oh my God. I'm close to unlocking alcoholism. For the love of God, Lily, your sith, do not steal OC is not a good person either, but that's a post for another day.

[dramaticpandabear]

I have never written fan fiction before, but I got so inspired by this song that I just had to write something. So, this is my first one and I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think! It’s Hancock x f!sole survivor.

God Only Knows

“You’re still messing with that thing?” said Hancock, watching with amusement as his vault-dwelling companion kept turning the dials on a beat-up radio. They were holed up in an abandoned, yet cozy, Red Rocket in front of Sanctuary Hills. The vault-dweller insisted on going to her “little hideaway” before Preston could bombard her with another settlement that needed helping.

And so, the two of them sat with a reprieve they seldom ever get, relishing it before they have to get going once more. The machine in her hands switched from a chorus of static to classical music to Travis’ stuttering and back to static once again.

“I swear it exists,” exclaimed his companion. “I heard it playing when I found an abandoned cabin not too far from Sanctuary. Apparently it’s called the “Old Gold” radio, and it plays music from before the war. Reminds me of when Nate and I--” She paused.

Opting to distract herself than deal with her grief, she directed her attention to the radio in front of her, turning the dials every which way hoping to find the elusive station. Every day she spent around Hancock it became easier to let those memories slip, but even she couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence. Perhaps someday, but not today.

She could feel the ghoul’s eyes on her. The more they travel together, the better he gets at reading her every thought. Nevertheless, he decided not to push it as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, the eclectic sound of an accordion mixed with a hypnotic beat starts blaring through the radio’s speakers. Hancock jolted for a moment -- he’s only ever heard Magnolia’s songs and the music Travis was able to salvage for his radio. But this, this was something else entirely.

“Finally! See, I told you it was real,” she exclaimed as he turned towards her. He saw her misty eyes, squinting nostalgically as though she could see the actual sound waves projecting from the radio in her hands. The sound of sweet, dulcet voices filled the air as they sang:

I may not always love you, but long as there stars above you…

Hancock took in a breath, and was about to ask, when she beat him to it. “It’s the Beach Boys,” she said in a daze, mesmerized as though she couldn’t believe she was hearing a song from before the world burned before her.

…You never need to doubt it, I’ll make you so sure about it…

“God, I haven’t heard this song in years!” he smirked but just before he could make a quip, she hit his shoulder playfully. Although he could read her thoughts pretty well, she easily did the same for him.

“Don’t you start with that crap. I may be 210 years old, but at least I don’t have any wrinkles, unlike some people,” she started as she shot a mischievous look his way.

“You’re right on that one Sunshine,” he replied with a raspy laugh on his lips. “I guess being frozen for all that time works wonders on the skin.”

“Oh absolutely, dermatologists hate me,” she quipped as he lightly chuckled despite not knowing what the fuck a dermatologist is. Turning back to listen to the music before her, she steeled herself with a deep sigh. “Last time I heard this was the night before Nate was deployed to Alaska. He asked me if I could dance with him.”

As she spoke, Hancock looked at her -- really looked at her. Somehow the sun shined just right as it hit her chestnut hair, casting a golden glow as she faced the radio. Although her eyes dulled with melancholy as she reminisced, he still caught the way her body swayed ever so slightly to the music, almost as if she were living inside that memory.

For a while now, they’ve been dancing around each other, both knowing they were beyond friendship at this point. Hancock knew she missed her husband dearly, but she expressed long ago that she’s ready to move on. And yet, neither of them has made the first move towards something more.

As the song entered into a (from what he considered) quirky instrumental section, Hancock figured that it was either now or never. He stood from the couch and approached her with his hand extended.

“I don’t come close to the man he was, but, if you don’t mind this ghoul before you,” and the way his black eyes gazed so tenderly into hers almost made her heart burst, rendering her speechless. “May I have this dance?”

Blinking up at him, all she could do was nod as she placed her hand in his. They began to lightly sway, coming closer as instruments were joined by carefree voices. As the music swelled, Hancock twirled her around as more words surrounded them.

…God only knows what I’d be without you. If you should ever leave me…

He spun her around so that her back was pressed against his as they continued to sway. He listened closely to these words as he looked down at her pensively. Her eyes were closed, basked in that gorgeous glow of sunlight. She looked like pure sunshine -- his sunshine.

…The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me…

This enchanting song was echoing the words he held deep in his heart. Words he wished he could say to her, but never felt he could. After all, who would want to spend their lives loving a ghoul such as him?

And yet, here she was -- his sunshine nestled warmly in his arms. Dancing in this abandoned Red Rocket as though it were a slice of Heaven on Earth and that the Commonwealth’s troubles didn’t exist. Hancock never thought he deserved such bliss, and as he spun her to face him, her soft voice nearly swept him off his feet as he heard her singing along with the music:

…God only knows what I’d be without you…

Hancock basked in the sight before him. Her lidded eyes were peering right into his, and he could feel her light breath as she whispered those words. Now, he’s never sang in his life, but something about this moment gave him the confidence he needed to sing these lyrics that echoed the words in his heart. As the song slowed, he gave the main melody a try with a raspy voice that was slightly off-key. But every word echoed his sincere feelings for her, pure and utter devotion poured out for her. And it was music to her ears.

…God only knows what I’d be without you.”

The chorus of voices repeated these words, blurring together as the music surrounded them in a haze. Hancock slowly inched his face closer to hers until they finally met in the middle. Never did he taste such a kiss so sweet that it made Sugar Bombs sour by comparison.

As they embraced the music continued to swell around them as if it was the sound of their own hearts singing to each other. Hancock wasn’t even sure if he deserved her, but in his mind he was silently thanking these so-called “Beach Boys” for giving him the chance to finally have her in his arms. Their kiss grew deeper as he felt an ecstasy that no chem could come close to achieving.

Even as the song made its eventual end, the pair made no effort to stop as the radio played another melody. Who knew they could ever reach perfection in the middle of a wasteland?

[mak-be-ghouled]

i'm sorry but tou said that you want more about delta and phantom and i just thought about delta asking about phantom's scars and thinking that he added more. and i might be writing hurt/comfort about them because i think we all deserve fluff-

JESTER YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME IK WHATEVER YOU'RE COOKING UP IS GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE

(that being said don't feel pressured to write anything just bc I said more, pls only write what and when you want to)

Your quint characterization is maybe my favorite thing I’ve ever read and has ABSOLUTELY inspired my own writing and I cannot thank you enough for that. Hopefully it's ok that I ran with your lighting/scar ideas for this little ramble about Phantom/Delta bc I agree we all deserve some fluff.

I got a bit carried away here's 1.6k words of Phantom/Delta hurt/comfort under the cut

Not sure how I feel about the ending but were just gonna ignore that

Phantom who is so drawn to Delta despite being so terrified of the magic they're said to harness, it's no secret Phantom is a runt, he has the scars to prove it. Something not as obvious is that most of the scars he wears don't have heroic stories defending himself from entire ghoul packs or even from scavenging around alone hoping to get lucky enough for food and a safe place to sleep for the night. 

No, Phantom wasn't alone in the pits, not always in the physical sense at least. A particularly powerful quintessence ghoul had it out for Phantom fairly early on, a lighting quint at that. No one, not even Phantom really knows what happened during these run ins. 

Nothing to prove they even happened beyond scorched skin. wounds that never fully healed, not how they should have at least. Etching lighting bolts into delicate skin. Branding him. 

When Phantom was summoned topside he was indescribably drawn in by a particular type of magic. A type of magic that felt dreamlike in a way, familiar and yet so distant. 

The closer he got to the pack though, the more he longed to identify this elusive magic. He thought maybe it was Swiss, buried somewhere deep inside him, he was a multi after all.

Eventually Phantom began hearing rumors about another quintessence ghoul, one he had never met before, one that had changed elements, one that was connected to water. 

When Phantom and Delta first meet it's electric in every sense of the word.

Delta has tried his hardest to keep himself away from Phantom, to protect him. Phantom had gone through enough and all Delta did anymore was hurt. Hurt himself, hurt others. He couldn't do that to Phantom too, not after hearing all that the ghoul had been through, not at the hands of another lighting quint.

Phantom was entranced by Delta though, it was his magic he had been drawn to. Part of him was terrified of Delta, put off by this distantly familiar magic, but the other was so desperate for it, needed it like his lungs needed air.

For the first time since the transition, Delta can stand to be physically close to another ghoul. Not once does Phantom ever jump back in fear or hesitation or pain from his unruly element. 

For the first time in as long as he can remember, Delta is... relaxed. His mind slows its never-ending racing. The elements warring inside of him fall calm and peaceful in a way so foreign to him it almost makes him sick. 

Despite his better judgment, Delta can't resist Phantom, there's just something so special about the little ghoul that he can't deny. He's so scared of hurting him, but he's even more scared of losing him and he barely even knows Phantom yet.

Phantom and Delta begin spending more and more time together, so deeply lost in the galaxy that is the other. Stormy nights are especially special for them though, something about their connection to the stars and lighting, it's just...them in a way.

Tonight is one of those nights. It's been overcast all afternoon and just started storming as the sun went down. Through patches of darkness that can only be assumed to be storm clouds, the stars and moon just barely peak through. Almost as if they're revealing themselves just for them.

Delta had set up one of the greenhouses as a makeshift observatory, full of soft blankets and the pair's favorite snacks, made complete with the old vinyl record player Mountain insisted on having in the greenhouse for his plants.

Delta wonders if they would approve of his music selection. But truly it doesn't matter, all that matters is that he knows Phantom loves it.

Finally, Delta hears the creaking of the rusted door hinges and looks up to see Phantom’s radiant smile, his eyes shine brighter than the stars in the sky and Delta has never felt more at ease than he does in this very moment. 

"Hi lighting bug" 

Phantom says as he takes in his surroundings, crawling into the nest Delta has put together for them. Delta chuffs, pulling Phantom close to him. 

The pair lay in a comfortable silence for a while, just taking in everything. Watching as lightning lights up the night sky. Pointing out stars and constellations as they appear and disappear behind the clouds. 

Experiencing love they'd never had, loved they didn't think they deserved.

At some point Delta's eyes drift from the sky, settling instead on his own universe, the ghoul laying just beside him. Delta wasn't sure he'd ever be able to love like this, and yet, here he is.

Phantom glances over to Delta, only to be face to face with the most loving look Phantom has ever seen, at least the most loving face he's been the receiver of. Phantom is overcome with emotion, can’t believe he's experiencing this type of connection with another ghoul, he's not sure he deserves it but when he's quite literally face to face with it, he isn't so sure anymore, and his eyes well with tears.

"Can-Can I kiss you, Nova?

Delta asks acting fully on impulse, not thinking, just doing. He hasn't kissed anyone since before he changed elements, hell he's hardly touched anyone since the transition, but before he can overthink anymore the corners of Phantom's month pull up into a small smile and he gives a shy nod.

Before he knows it Delta's hand is cupping Phantom's cheek and their lips are connecting in the softest, most genuine kiss. 

Delta feels like he's floating, like nothing will ever matter again as long as he has Phantom. 

Just as Phantom goes to pull away though, just for a breath, smiling against Delta’s lips the whole time, to wipe the tears that had fallen, Delta is ripped back down to reality. 

All of a sudden Delta is hyper aware of the lightning bolt shaped scar slashing through Phantom’s face, the scar that he has been holding in his hand.

Delta rips his hand away from Phantom's face, looks into his eyes and sees tears.

Why was Phantom crying? Did he leave that scar? Is he the reason for the lightning bolt tearing through Phantom's face? Did he hurt Phantom? The one ghoul he thought was safe from his own pain?

Delta tries to get away, thrashes and growls and realizes he...can't? 

Somethings holding him down and he's back in the summoning room, he’s back being strapped down and used as an experiment, just to see if a ghoul really can change elements. If a ghoul can be tamed, be useful again.

Distantly Delta hears Phantom's voice calling to him, floating off somewhere into the void. Slowly the warring elements begin to calm again and Delta is looking at Phantom face to face again.

He hates himself. Hates himself for the scar he left. The damage he did to such a beautiful innocent creature.

Deta hurts everyone he touches, he knows this, has seen it happen. Why did he think Phantom would be any different?

"Delta. Love. Look at me. What's going on?" 

Phantom's trying to act calm, to bring Delta back to reality, but he's scared too, he's not sure what happened, if he did something wrong.

"I- Im- so- sorry." 

Delta heaves out between panting breaths, and Phantom's never been more confused.

"Delta, what?"

"You- your face- I"

Phantom grazes his hands over the scarred side of his face, over the lighting bolt, Delta flinches back again- and 

oh

Phantom realizes he's never really thought about that, never really considered the connection between Delta's magic and his scars, never considered why he had been drawn so strongly to Delta, to Delta's magic. 

"I- I need to go, I don't want to - I can't hurt you anymore"

Delta sobs out, stumbling and trying to stand.

"Delta, please."

Phantom calls out and he sounds so desperate.

Delta was supposed to be a healing ghoul, he can't just leave Phantom hurting now. 

Delta tries to call on his magic but he just... can't. It's like he's run dry. 

He heaves into the ground and his mind starts clearing once again, he becomes distantly aware of a hand rubbing up and down his back, he tries to flinch away but he doesn't have any more fight left in him.

Phantom just keeps whispering to Delta, soft and loving words, words he knows Delta doesn't think he deserves, but Phantom couldn't think of a more deserving ghoul, keeps a steady hand on his back hoping to help ground Delta, he'd use a bit of his magic too if he didn't think it would make everything worse, so instead he settles on only affecting the physical realm. 

Finally Delta comes back down to earth, Phantom is able to explain as much as he remembers from the pits to Delta, how he thinks he got those scars. How it wouldn't be possible for Delta to have hurt him like that because in the pits he was a water ghoul. 

Delta tries to accept Phantom's words, he does, but can you really blame him for being so scared? It's not like hurting someone he loves, even if on accident, was something he hadn't done before.

[wafflinglumos]

My Golden Trio Headcanons (some modern some not)

Harry:

Oddly good at beer pong.

One time caught the snitch in his mouth and almost died.

Is REALLY good at cooking(less headcanon and more actually canon)

Loves the rain, absolutely hates thunder.

Had American southern tea ONCE and never looked at Earl Grey the same way again (Hermione gets upset about it every time they get tea together)

Soap opera lover(he watches them with Ron)

Is really good at drawing birds specifically.

He’s good at pottery but can only make bowls and plates.

SPIDER-MAN FAN

Ron:

Chess lover, both magic AND muggle(that’s canon but I’m including it anyways)

When Harry tried American sweet tea for the first time, Ron got to try fried butter for the first time too, he promptly inhaled it.

He hates crabs.

He often has stare offs with Crookshanks which either end with Ron getting mauled, or Crookshanks getting locked out of the room.

Is a DIEHARD Beastie Boys fan, Hermione introduced him to them and he hasn’t looked back since.

His favorite color is the exact shade of brown that Hermione’s eyes are :)

Soap opera lover(he watches them with Harry)

Wears bright neon crocs, has worn them on dates with Hermione before, will wear them on dates with Hermione again.

Got a buzz cut one time and Hermione screamed in pure unbridled terror when she saw it(she did not speak for him for a week, he had to magically grow it back)

Bad at pottery but loves playing with the clay.

DEADPOOL FAN

Hermione:

Aroace spectrum(because I love projecting onto characters and it’s canon in my eyes)

One time tried to straighten her hair and both Ron and Harry got scared when they saw it(it did not work)

Knows ALL of the Elder Scrolls lore

Has played Skyrim to completion over 19 times.(that is not an exaggeration, she’s pulled various all nighters)

HORRIFIC sleep schedule

Will not read romance, UNLESS it’s completely historically accurate.

Bad at drawing, really good at pottery oddly enough.

While she’s good at pottery, she absolutely despises the feel of wet clay, and then the feel of dry clay on her skin so she doesn’t sculpt stuff without gloves on.

Hates the texture of pasta, it has to be made in a VERY specific way for her to enjoy it.

Doesn’t like being smooched on the temple because it’s too close to her eyes and she thinks it’s unsanitary.

Had a seafood boil one time and was out like a light for a full DAY.

Tried a vegan diet for like a year but she accidentally ate a wet piece of ham in a sleep deprived delirium.

Beans on toast FIEND.

One time had a five day mental breakdown over magic and specifically quidditch brooms not following the laws of physics.

Dinosaur nerd.

Dr Strange and Reed Richards fan

Golden Trio:

Codependent.

They have a book club, Ron’s favorite genre is a mix between really cheesy badly written romances and westerns, Harry’s favorite genre is murder mysteries and philosophy, funnily enough, Hermione doesn’t like murder mysteries because she guesses the plot/plot twists and they’re always correct, she usually only reads non-fiction but she occasionally likes accurate science fiction and she also enjoys biographies.

Hermione once sat them down to watch a bunch of muggle movies, some Harry recognized, while Ron was just utterly entranced by the television, occasionally shaking Harry’s shoulder when something happened on screen.

While Hermione was finishing her seventh/ “eighth” year she was sent at LEAST ten letters DAILY, from both Ron and Harry.

They shared an apartment for like two years and would quiet often all sleep in the same bed.

That habit followed them into adulthood, and they occasionally sleep in the same bed.

Both Harry and Ron, along with Ginny, will flaunt Hermione being the minister, often.

Harry has forced the other two to rewatch every Star Wars movie, more than ten times.

Ron and Hermione broke up one time in their relationship and Harry was more distraught than both of them combined.

[staticofthetv]

Take two!

Favourite frames from the new B-Side chapter, featuring some analysis because I have coherent thoughts this time 'round :D

Beware, spoilers below for the B-Side as well as the manga

@veiled-bird that goes for you too, you're nowhere near meeting this guy yet

First up, I love this chapters art. It reminds me of when I was little and asking my dad to help my brother and I beat the last level of episode 3 in lego star wars tcs

Also the chapter title? I have so many thoughts, they'll be discussed more in depth further down but they will be discussed /pos

Numbers weapon 1 mention!! I'm very excited to (hopefully) get more lore about it. Although I am curious if it's like a contact lens or something, I thought it was closer to a surgical implant or maybe some weird side effect from using numbers weapon 1. Mostly because I don't think he's been drawn with normal eyes yet in the manga (at least from what I remember)

Either way very much hoping we get some more numbers weapon 1 lore in this :)

This whole scene but specifically "what good does a test proving I'm abnormal do" hits so hard, especially as someone diagnosed with ADHD in my late teens. Having that feeling of there's something wrong with me for so long and being brushed off every time because I didn't act like the stereotypical 10 year old boy with severe ADHD (a psychiatrist literally told me and my mum i probably had adhd but she wouldnt diagnose me,) I did start to kind of give up on ever figuring it out.

Narumi was incredibly relatable to me in the main manga (not because I'm a badass, I'm very lame lmao) because of the behaviours he exhibits, hyperfocusing on games, constant dopamine seeking (through videogames and online shopping,) needing to be fiddling with something to better process the information being given out, etc.

Narumi is also incredibly smart, its stated explicitly that he got top scores in the entrance exam and I can't imagine those tests are anywhere near easy. It gives neurodivergent kid being told they just need to apply themselves to do better in school/make friends/just function in a neurotypical way in general.

This also comes from his being kicked out of several orphanages, and then even after joining the defence force (especially after being told by Isao that they take anyone that can show skills and results) getting kicked out by the second division and every platoon in the first until he ends up under hasegawa. Considering the title too this is 100% supposed to read as the classic "troubled kid" (many of which are neurodivergent) that not many are willing to put effort into helping. Isao is giving him a way out of the life of having no home to go back to, only to be struck with the threat of getting kicked out once again a year later. Narumi is a very skilled and capable fighter and no one in their right mind would argue with that and it once again all comes down to being labelled as too difficult, hard to work with, never paying attention

This chapter just hits so close to home with me

Baby Mina!! I know there's a decent amount if it in the manga but it's still weird to see her with short hair. I love her so much

There are many more words of appreciation I have but all thought went into dissecting Narumi's character lol

And so being kicked around by hasegawa begins

I love his face here, top tier expression

And here we see Isao solidifying the thought of skill and results being all that matters, there's no way Isao was going to let Narumi get kicked out, especially not after showing aptitude for handling numbers weapon 1. I like to think at this point he does also care for Narumi, I think he sees a lot of Kikoru (or what she could be) in him and especially he sees himself in Narumi. And even though he's only ranked captain Isao would clearly fight to keep Narumi on the force (he probably already had to for Narumi to get transferred to the first division instead of just being dropped when he didn't mesh with the second)

This is also the beginning of Isao and Narumi's mentor/mentee relationship, Isao knows exactly how to handle Narumi and his child prodigy-ness and help him reach his potential as a defence force officer. I think that's part of why Isao shows little care for how Narumi handles himself when off duty, it may be that he knows he can't change Narumi in that way, it may be that he himself just doesn't care for all the professional decorum, either way Isao plays the very important role of being Narumi's main support while he's in the defence force (until Isao dies anyway, whoops.) Narumi needed a space where he could not only be himself but be accepted for it and have the trust of his peers and superiors that he would get the job done when he needs to, and whether it was on purpose or not Isao provided exactly that for him.

This also ties back into the earlier ramble about Narumi being the typical undiagnosed neurodivergent "troubled kid"

(Also the origin of what Narumi says to Kikoru ~9 years in the future :D)

Omg jaeger is canon? Kaiju no. 8 and pacific rim crossover when? /j

Another interesting tidbit about Narumi is his self confidence, he knows he's capable and isn't afraid to tell people that. He says playing support is annoying but what I see is someone that knows he can do better placed somewhere else and has decided to take that into his own hands. He won't get kicked out of the defense force but I wouldn't be surprised if he gets into a shit ton of trouble for taking Isao's words to heart and disregarding his orders, even though I do think he'll be an asset to the battle and perform better being closer to the front lines.

Poor hasegawa has his work cut out for him keeping Narumi in check (a captain and vice-captain match made in hell)

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

Throughout the entire game, who do you think are some of the most underrated or under-appreciated characters?

stumbling into the askbox whyyy hello there!!! it had been a while!!

OKAY SO. let's start from one fact: every. single. character has something special about them. so like the easy answer is... anyone, lmao. truth be told we (the whole community) has been around for llke, 18 years (WOAH) and some sides are completely unexplored. even just from the idea that... have you guys ever noticed how little content there is around about nerds and jocks, for exmple? and i don't only mean art but also writing, analysis, metas, thoughts and such. not to mention the townies, the townies, when, having some of them been given some actually adult attributes, there would be a lot to unpack.

i feel like this is a) mostly for the nerds, that the rightful fisgust for the horrible thing they did to mandy discourages a lot from engaging with them as characters too, and b) because they are quite overshadowed by the fan favorite preps and greasers. which, i mean, very legit. but i think that they do have a lot of potential, again, in terms of characterization and themes, and i feel like we are collectively missing out on a lot.

and there's also the fact that, even with the fan-favorites, there is so little tapping into the more serious and sometimes mature aspects. i wouldn't say christy is neglected by the fandom, but it's not often that i read someone talking about her repressed anger that explodes whenever she feels too much, that heirloom of her father that of curse she doesn't have, she isn't a problem boy like her brother, what do you mean with that, i could use this tie to strangle you goddammit! or vance, that we all love as the sunshine jokester of the greaser and heartbreaker queer icon, but how come none of us ever mention him having a canonical addiction, and what if his messy dating habits have to do with that, too? what if he's running from something inside himself, rushing to next best thing just so he can feel something?

but this is just me rambling as an introduction oops. so, just trying to list a couple of my favorites:

thad carlson (& dan wilson) (putting them together bc they're intrinsecally connected and while i do stand by the fact that he's wildly underappreciated in the fandom i would hit dan in the face with a brick): i would lterally give my first born for these two. they are what they actually wanted to write when they wrote about cain and abel. i'm not sure what is the exact reason why they have different last names, and i don't wanna enter headcanon territory here. what it does unavoidably indicate, though, is that they were doomed from the start. like it was written in their names. so, picture this: they were in the nerds together. they suffered the bullying, the abuse together. the humiliation tasted like blood in their mouths and shone like the stars they'd see with their heads smashed in a locker, but at least they knew their brother would've been there to hold them. there's something very visceral about suffering together with a brother. like the blood they share creates somewhat of a shell, one that can protect them from what is outside, that can give them the comfort that they will never be alone. whether they like it or not, their brother will forever be with them; it's inside them. except that thad had the rage of a wounded animal; dan had the fear of a small prey. so, while thad kept standing tall and proud and chin high against his bullies, dan started training and morphing until he could be accepted in the jocks. dan wasn't the bullied anymore. he was the bully. while his brother was still on the other side of the war- the side of the eternal losers, that is. the side that, no matter how many battles they will win, they will always be at a disadvantage. so thad has got all the hurt of having been betrayed by a half of himself, like the phantom pain of a lost limb. and the hurt makes him angrier and angrier and when he wants to take revenge on the jocks his brother is the first target he wants, because, see, he is the victim, his brother is cain who has killed abel. but also dan has got his head on backwards to look out for enemies and for anyone who might uncover him as the fraud he is, the way he just thought- they are just bullying me for what i am, so what if i become someone different? except that it's not like he didn't feel like a loser anymore, he just feels like a loser with a football sweater. so at that point you look at the direction of that violence, at where the anger and the resentment lies, and you stop there and wonder. who's cain there? who's gonna be the victim, who the executioner? like nathaniel orion said, "i want to kill him sometimes. i think sometimes he wants to die". i love them ur honor.

otto tyler: i have no literal idea why there is so so so little about him. admittedly, content about townies is in gnereal harder to track down, since they have... no last names.... for the most part. but the otto tag is absolutely desolated. this boy is what you'd call too angry to be this young. his first response to anything is extreme violence and fantasies of it. playing his audios you will be met with die, kill, die, kill, kill, die, die. and all of his vitriol is poured on the school, like they have all come together specifically to hunt him down. and he's been canonically hospitalized, as well; when you walk in the asylum for the first time (galloway away i believe) he tells you not to "anger the watcher"- but who is this watcher? the composition of the scene seems to implies it is the statue in the courtyard; the most coherent correspondence would be the orderlies you will have to avoid as you walk past them; maybe otto himself has just been told not to anger the watcher by the people who are supposed to take care of him, but that are just playing with his mind to make him too afraid not to behave. which, incidentally, doesn't sound too different from what he might have suffered at school. otto will ask you if you have ever punched a wall. he will swear he hates everyone in the school, that everyone in the school hated him, he will threaten to destroy it. otto is a landmine, he's an unstable kid who just needed some ground to stand on, and instead they placed him all alone on a shaking earth. all is anger is desperation, it's having spent too much time without a support system, too much time bound -to a chair, in a cell, in a straitjacket- surrounded by people who couldn't understand him. who stifled his expression instead of channeling all the feelings he had all the time, exploding and intense in an overwhelming and violent way. i like to think of him as an artist. he mentions tattoos; i like to imagine he's learning to do them himself. that he's finding that as an outlet for his expression. and yeah overall. i am a lot fond of otto, and i think he would have a lot to say.

mr. wiggins: look, this guy is super unlucky. he's the only teacher with no class minigame; he's only ever walking around, and if you saw him you probably mistook him for the more familiar mr. matthews. but believe me when i tell you he's a real one. example 1: when someone snithces to him, he says something along the lines of "thank you, but i will never be able to trust you again". BRO. let me tell you, in 1968 this guy was OUT on his college campus and he was MARCHING and RIOTING with workers and students. he even mentions having spent a night or two in JAIL. he will walk into class and say the nastiest things about reagan while he keeps saying that as a teacher he will have to be politically neutral as if he didn't just have a fight with hattrick about socialism.