#at least I amuse myself

[duchessofostergotlands]

I finished The Fall of the House of Usher or as I like to call it Poe-etic Justice

[oli]

A chicken ran across the road in front of me yesterday and no one was around to hear my joke

🐓

So I made the obvious joke to myself and still laughed. 😂

[elminx]

I'm pretending ***I*** just got called a snake oil salesman - maybe for trying to sell kindness?

So, thank you.

I will keep selling kindness.

I promise you it has the capacity to save the world.

[artistrybyarielle]

Me: *cracks open DVD case*

Me: 1999 was a good year.

[galaxyedging]

The Last of Us episode 9 spoilers.

Ellie's line, I'll follow you anywhere you go. Is a nod to the video game where Ellie does, in fact, follow Joel anywhere he goes.

[cowgirljedi1701]

The Dendrites had opportunity to conquer vast swaths of territory, if they'd only been bold enough, but ultimately they lost their nerve.

[isbergillustration]

Jonathan Harker’s Journal

(Kept in shorthand.)

30 June,

Get shovelled, idiot

[lloydfrontera]

javier, gathering every molecule of subtlety in his entire body and holding onto it for dear life and a deep desire to be trusted: and just so we're clear, i trust you. no matter what you say, no matter how crazy it is or how insane it sounds, i will believe you. you have earned my full trust several times over and i will follow you anywhere you go, in this world or any another. so you can tell me anything. whatever you want. no matter what it is. i will trust and support you. just so you know.

lloyd, absolutely keeping a secret that sounds crazy and/or insane and that has been eating him alive for several years now: what a funny and weird thing to say that does not concern or apply to my situation beyond the most superficial of levels at all. anyway. i'm so glad javier doesn't suspect a thing about me :)

[emptymanuscript]

Do-de-do (this is my impression of me just goin about my life, imagine musical notes) just forgettin about this whole little issue. Do-do-de-doo-do-dope-i-doo.

*ping* you've gotten a note from @emeraldincandescent

Howdy friend :) whazzup!? :)

wut

Emmy! How dare! I mean... just look at this face...

Who wouldn't trust that widgy ball of a baby-face??? Never done anything strange or creepy in their life!!

absolutely trustworthy, not off vibes at all. I mean, that smile:

I'm so lovable. Gentle. A man of the people.

Salt of the Earth. The common clay.

I'm shocked, Emmy, shocked. I'm so very normal.

I've been measured down to the last measurement and been found, in fact, completely normal. The best normal.

No toxic traits at all. I can't imagine anything about me that would cause anyone to think I might have the mere idea of a concept of religion that might be out of sync with the majority beliefs even one iota.

Why, I'm even technically ordained as a "CHRISTIAN" minister.

That's the good book in my hand in the first image of me that a google search would turn up. And, I dare say, I've always been like this.

Even back when the pictures were in black and white. It's just absolutely not a worry. I mean someone would surely DO something if I LOOKED like a problem, you know they document EVERYTHING now-a-days.

Nope, I think I am lost about this argument. But that's ok. I won't make a big deal out of it. I will act like what I am. A bona fide gentleman.

Yes, the less said the better. As a gentleman I always take the high road. So thank you for the suggestion but I think I reject this analysis. Let us be friends and just say no more about this patently ridiculous idea that I might have any amount of weirdness. Especcially in the facial region.

Cheers and all my best. Truly happy to have you back :)

...

Ok, it might have gotten just a teensy bit weird without you here... But I still don't think it's my face giving that impression.

Should I be worried that this the second time in a month that someone on Reddit has sent me a DM asking about how to sell their soul?

What the heck did I say implying that I knew the answer, let alone that I would tell it to anybody???

[curlicuecal]

I'm tired of Hades being the creepy one on the relationship

AU where Persephone is a zombie. She died too young and her mom couldn't bear to let her go and breathes a wisp of life into her every morning to keep her almost-not-quite alive by her side. This is a little uncomfortable for Persephone, but she's an adaptable type, so she rolls with it.

Hades kidnaps her because she's *already dead*, hello, did she get lost? It's an unkindness to leave a soul wandering. Turns out he wildly misread the situation and now he's got an annoyed and amused zombie houseguest causing all kinds of trouble while she waits for her mom to come knocking.

Also Persephone thinks the underworld is fucking awesome (*way* more comfy than being dead in the living world) and Hades is stupid-cute and pretty soon she's working out an elaborate plot to timeshare.

[tostmin]

ff7 but sephiroths widows peak gets taller everytime he shows up

[the-modern-typewriter]

"Now that you're out of retirement..." The operative twisted their fingers as they eyed the hero. "Have you considered, um."

The hero raised their brow with a glee that some might call malicious. "Hm?"

"Losing...getting back on the diet?" The operative finished weakly.

"No." The hero beamed at them. "I am like Jesus. I am made of bread and wine."

The operative opened their mouth. They closed it. They looked exceedingly uncomfortable.

The hero's smile sharpened. "Unless you'd prefer I didn't pull a miracle this time?"

"Miracles are good."

"That's what I thought, so mind your own damn business and stop being rude."

[notbecauseofvictories]

cute thing I have learned during this conference: a couple different players are working in the quantum computing space, and specifically working on encryption protection algorithms to defend against attacks---these algorithms are called "kyber" and "dilithium" respectively.

nerds.

[ovcii-doodles]

still not happy with my wash fc but I think I'm getting closer

[bleaksqueak]

While i work I've been listening to an LP of the Telltale Walking Dead Games (the ones with clementine, I do not care about the others lmao). Ages ago when I played these I was well aware/amused that part of season 2 takes place in Parker's Crossroads/Parker's Run because I grew up right next to it and the detail stood out to me. But I never caught the line of "We'll head to parker's run. It's just up the road from here" until just right now. So I had a sort of "wait, where the fuck are they supposed to be right now?" (search)

ARE YOU SHITTING ME LMAO So by process of elimination, since it's the only city with anything even remotely resembling a large home supply store, that would mean they're in my literal hometown. My tiny hometown in the middle of nowhere that's never in anything that barely anyone knows of. How in the fuck lmao

[demi-lancer]

'parry this you fucking casual' - Rand to High Lord Turak