#at least 3 irl days apart
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smoknparade · 6 days ago
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🐻
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penisbilt · 9 months ago
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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thatdemiboymess · 7 months ago
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Can't believe I'm saying this as a certified rain lover but it has GOT to stop raining, man. 😭
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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Worrying I'm developing a case of senioritis, not in the screw-this-I'm-just-not-going-to-do-it way, but in the holy-shit-can-I-please-finally-just-be-done way
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no-one-hears-me · 1 year ago
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everything I do is for him
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amuyyi · 8 months ago
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warm enough .
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synopsis; recovering from an expected breakup, you find yourself drunk at a nearby bar, encountering an unfamiliar girl who happens to know your ex.
trope; non idol!ningning x fem!reader, uni au, fluff, a little angst, a little suggestive, strangers to lovers, feat. kep1er members :3
wc; 4.8k
cw; a little suggestive but not really
a/n; fun fact this happened to me irl ! figured i could use my experiences for stories ! everything from the breakup to the bar kiss is based on my personal experience so lol have fun. also its kinda poorly written because i wrote some of it while on the plane + in china while being very tired and i dont feel like proofreading so im sorry ^^'
The breakup was supposed to be a mutual thing. A smooth and easy agreement between you and Jimin. You guys met in a cafe when your soon-to-be-ex girlfriend finally dropped the bomb on you. 
“I still care a lot about you, y/n. But I want to focus on myself and my future… I think you should too.”
You wanted to speak up, say that you didn’t want to let go yet. Just… hold on for a little longer. Maybe it’d get better if you guys just kept it going for another week. Another month. Another day?
 “What I’m trying to say is…”
You always hated this part.
“I think we should break up.”
Despite the older girl being the one to initiate the ending of the relationship, you always knew it was coming. Jimin was sweet, and you definitely did enjoy the little dates you guys had been on through the past year, but there was something missing. Every time she looked at you, it seemed like she was looking through your eyes into her own. Her mind was always elsewhere whenever you two were together, like she was searching for something you couldn’t provide. She never seemed to smile around you, never laughed loudly or hugged you with warmth. 
You really tried to be the person for her, you really did; but it was apparent that she was trying to convince herself you were the one as well.
It was shown in the way she bought you endless gifts with things you said you wanted, but never kissed you, In the way she would allow you to hold her hand, but never reached out herself, how she couldn’t bring herself to say “I love you” out loud. Jimin was cold.
You agreed that this was the best path to take, how you felt the exact same way and that it would be good for the both of you, but the tears that nonconsensually left your eyes said otherwise. You still remember the last words you told her before you got up to leave.
“I really hoped it was you.”
There's a saying or the other. “Your body will know if someone is right for you.” You came across it while aimlessly scrolling on social media once, and you thought it was an interesting but ridiculous concept. Countless people would share stories about how their hair would fall out or how they would break out into horrible acne when they were with their past partners, only being relieved from this when single or with their “match.”
It was funny, and you didn’t believe one bit of it until it actually happened. The tightness in your chest that followed you every time you two went out together, the stress of wondering if she actually enjoyed her company, the way you couldn’t truly relax in her presence– it all went away. It all left when she walked out of your life, and you’ve never felt more at peace with a decision. At least, for a little bit.
The breakup was the easy part. It was the recovery that ruined you.
You were the one to establish a rule of no contact, even after you both expressed wanting to stay in touch. It was your only way to hold on to the last sliver of pride you had left after spending a year chasing after Yu Jimin. The rule was established to allow you some time to heal, and you hoped to return to the girl as friends once you felt ready.
With this in mind, you then proceeded to spend a month barely eating, barely sleeping, and not leaving your apartment unless you needed to for classes. It was difficult to be on your own after dedicating so much time to her, falling behind, hoping that she would see you the way you saw her; but after about a month, you slowly felt yourself regaining your footing.
You started going out again, talking with your roommate, taking time to actually care for yourself. It was nice. Perhaps your progress would have left you comfortable enough to move on if you didn’t decide to go out that day.
There she was. Yu Jimin. After an exact 31 days of no contact with her, you finally cross paths. Quite literally, at that– but she wasn’t alone. There was a girl on her arm. She was pretty. Blonde with bobbed hair and a soft smile that made it impossible to hate her. Jimin was smiling too. This is the first time you’ve seen her smile like that, smiling as if she found what she was looking for after all of this time. She doesn't look past her. She sees her.
Jimin holds the other girl by the small of her waist the way she used to do with you, and she kisses her. She kissed her. Just like how she used to kiss you, but not exactly. There's love in her eyes. A warmth you’ve never seen before. In her eyes, there is certainty.
And that was the day your world came crashing down on top of you.
You tried to act normal as you walked past. You really did. Your eyes remain glued to your phone as your knuckles turn white. Her eyes didn’t even meet yours as you walked by. Why wouldn't she look at you? Maybe she's wondering why you won't look at her. That must be it. You hold your breath. As soon as she passed by, you couldn’t help yourself. You made the mistake of looking back.
…Nothing.
As soon as Jimin was out of sight, you cried. You ran home, scaring half the life out of your poor roommate, Xiaoting, as you collapsed in your bed. Everything hurts. Why did it hurt? You wanted this. You felt better without her— the tightness in your chest was gone. 
Instead, it was replaced by an indescribably painful ache. One that felt so deep within your soul it would never heal. Quietly entering your room, Xiaoting says nothing as she sits next to your limp body on the bed, rubbing your back comfortingly. The gesture only makes you sob even harder. 
She's been with you through it all. From the beginning of your relationship with Jimin till the end, she was there. Xiaoting really was a good friend.
From then on, Xiaoting’s one goal was simple: cheer you up. She would cook at least once for you every day despite not being the best chef, and she would allow you to rant about the same things over and over no matter how overbearing it got. Honestly, you started to feel a little bad. She shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for you just because you’re a little sad.
So when Xiaoting announces that you will be joining her at the bar with her friends tonight, you couldn't say no. Both because she stated it, not asked you, and that it simply was the least you could do for her. Especially after everything she’s done for you. Before you knew it, you were dressed up in your best (slutty) corset top and cargo pants with some hoops and over exaggerated makeup to accent the look. Xiaoting, as your best roommate and friend, matches with you, and you two make a big scene out of getting ready together; blasting music, doing each other's hair, borrowing each other's clothes, and more.
Xiaoting’s girlfriend Yujin had made herself at home for the pregame, and your mutual friend Hikaru soon followed. With Xiaoting as designated bartender, the four of you mingle, laughing and cracking jokes as the warmth of the alcohol and one another’s presence left you with a warming buzz. Xiaoting was an excellent mixer, and in combination with the chasers Hikaru bought and the drinking games Yujin proposed, you were all ready to go. 
Xiaoting and Yujin led the way, hand in hand as you and Hikaru trailed behind, drunkenly singing into the cold night air as you trek to the nearest bar.
Being a Friday night, the establishment had been as packed as expected, and you all squeezed your way past other visitors as you’re guided to a nearby table. Xiaoting starts off strong, ordering shots for the entire group before utilizing her combined charm alongside her girlfriend’s looks to convince guys to purchase drinks for everyone as well. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way the duo would bat their eyelashes innocently at lone men for drinks– but at least it worked.
Lazily, your eyes wander through the crowd, the alcohol in your system making it a struggle to see straight. Despite your inability to see properly, you still manage to catch a glimpse of your friends from the corner of your eye, and easily spot Yujin attempting to very publicly make out with Xiaoting as Hikaru struggles to pull her away. You stifle a laugh at the sight, and decide to leave the three to their antics whilst you look for someone to talk to.
It's been a while since you last struck up a conversation with a stranger. The last time you had put yourself out there was before you met… 
You shake your head. No. You are not letting your stupid ex ruin your night. Knitting your brows in concentration, you scan the bar. There were plenty of pretty girls to talk to, but you were feeling a little intimidated. Almost all of them came with at least one other person, and you didn’t want to intrude on anything…
 Your eyes landed on a lone blonde at the end of the table, scrolling through her phone with alcohol flushed cheeks. She seemed approachable. Worst case scenario, she simply shoos you off. Taking a deep breath, you approach the blonde, deciding to pull out your best conversation starter.
“Are you chinese? You look chinese!!” You exclaim, suddenly switching to mandarin in the middle of your sentence as you ask the question. Smooth.
The blonde girl looks as if she would’ve been extremely offended at the comment if you didn't just speak to her in her native tongue halfway through your sentence, and she quirks a brow at you, an amused smirk on her lips as she leans against the bar. 
“Yeah, I am! What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this alone??” 
You feel your heart begin to race. So far so good. “I'm not alone!!! My friends are just busy making out with each other and the other is trying to stop them!!” You also lean on the bar, though not as alluring as the blonde before you. More like you partially collapsed and partially slid on it.
She chortles at your response, “well that's not fair to you, leaving you here all alone.”
The sweet and somewhat sultry tone of the blonde makes (non alcohol induced) blush appear on your face as you laugh, “it really isn't! But whatever! My name is y/n by the way!! What's yours??” You scream over the music, sticking your hand out. It was an unexpectedly polite gesture considering your circumstances, and perhaps it may have seemed a bit comical as well with how drunk you were.
She giggles at the response, grabbing your hand then pulling you in, her lips dangerously close to your ear as she yells over the music, “Ning Yizhuo. But call me Ningning! It's cuter!”
You grin. Ningning was a cute nickname. You decided at this very moment you could trust this cute stranger with your life story and personal information she didn’t ask for, and begin to slur out.
“My friends dragged me out here because I was sad over my ex who moved on from me a month after the breakup even though we dated for a year and she's a big jerk for that even though I wish only the best for her but also I hope she dies!!!”
None of the words you spoke just now came out clear, and they seemed to trip over one another when leaving your mouth, but it was enough for the other girl to go from extremely relaxed to suddenly very heated. She stands up straight as her eyebrows knit together.
“To be honest I don’t think she ever really liked me in the first place! I don’t know!! Whatever it doesn’t matter!!!” You continue on, sounding absolutely pathetic as you let yourself feel through the anger you didn’t even know you were repressing, “I was stupid to stay with someone who couldn’t even look me in the eye when saying she loved me!! She was stupid to do the same!! Whatever!! I don’t know!!”
Ningning cuts you off with a raised hand before you can continue, “what the hell?! I hate people like that!!  You're wayyyy too hot to be treated that way! Who is she? What's her name?? I might know her!!”
Against your better drunken judgment, you decide to name drop your ex within a university bar. Because that is always a good idea. “Yu Jimin!! She's a engineering major !!!”
Ningning’s jaw drops as she stares at you, almost as if she were trying to find the correct words for what she has to say next.
“Girl, I know her !!!” She screams out after a brief moment of silence,  “we shared a class together once!! Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't know she was like that!! You deserve BETTER!” 
Before you could even think of what to say in reaction to that heavy load of information, Ningning grabs your face, pulling you into a kiss. It was a very messy one, her lips almost missing your own during the exchange. Seems like she's not entirely sober either. 
Still, even in your drunken state you knew what to do. Your hands immediately find Ningnings hair as you pull her in closer, and you can feel her smiling as she grazes her tongue over the bottom of your lip. 
You open your mouth to let her in and the only thing that you can think of or even feel for that matter is Ningning and her tongue. She… was really good at this. Jimin never kissed you like this before. Her hands trail down your back to your ass before she squeezes it, smirking when you squirm against her touch.
She breaks the kiss, her face inches away from yours as she breathes out, “you deserve so much better…” Ningning gives you a quick peck on the lips before stepping back, taking in her work with a devilish glint in her eyes. You stare at her dumbfounded for a moment before whipping out your phone, fully talking in your appearance. Your hair and makeup were a wreck. How did all of that happen just now?
“Done by yours truly~” Ningning winks at you, quickly slipping your phone out of your hand and typing something in.
“Wh— Wait what are you doing?”
“Giving you my number, obviously. My girls are gonna wonder where I went.” She hands back your phone and looks at you with soft eyes through her drunken daze. 
“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Ningning kisses you one last time, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go. She disappears into the crowd of partygoers, a sly fox-like grin on her face.
“There you are!” 
You feel an arm land on your shoulder as you jump, twirling around and looking down to see a drunk Hikaru with a slightly less drunk Xiaoting and an absolutely hammered Yujin on her side.
“We should probably head back home!” Xiaoting screams into your ear, “Hikaru’s gonna knock out on the couch and Yujin will be with me!”
Her words barely make it through to you, the music and the alcohol and the adrenaline within your system muffling out every word spoken. Regardless, you still nod and trail behind your friends as you leave, not all too sure what just happened.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You lay in bed, eyes practically burning holes into the new contact in your phone. “宁宁<3” is what it said. 
So last night wasn’t just a dream. You really did just get a girl's number by doing nothing but spilling your secrets to a stranger. On top of all of that, your head was absolutely killing you, you swore you could feel your heartbeat within your brain. Still, that wasn’t important. Biting your lip, your fingers hover over the contact name. Should you message her? 
y/n [10:59]  — hey !! its y/n, the girl from the bar
y/n [10:59]  — thanks for keeping me company last night :)
ningning [11:06]  — i was wondering if u were gonna text me back
ningning [11:06] — and of course <3 jimin doesn’t know what she lost
y/n [11:08] — haha im flattered
y/n [11:08]  — but u barely know me??
ningning [11:11]  — that can change xx
Your eyes widen as you reread the text over and over again. Is she implying what you think she's implying? What if she's just being friendly? Can you even platonically make out with someone at the bar?
y/n [11:16] — are u asking me out on a date ning yizhuo ?
You wait. 
Oh god. What if she was just being friendly?
ningning [11:18]  — only if youll have me 
You feel yourself blush at her message, burying your face into your pillow as you squeal like a high school teenager in love. It was embarrassing in hindsight, but.. it felt nice to be wanted. 
y/n [11:19] —  of course
ningning [11:19] — perfect <3 
ningning [11:20] — dinner at my place tonight then? 
ningning [11:20] — If youre not too hungover.. 
ningning [11:20] — i got the best hangover cures ;)
you can't help but arch your eyebrow at the winky face she added at the end but brushed it off, more focused on the fact that your drunk hatred towards your ex landed you a date. 
You scramble to your feet and (metaphorically) kick down Xiaoting’s door, abruptly waking the girl from her nap as she screams out, “WO CAO!” She places a hand over her heart as she bolts up within her bed, immediately letting out a sigh of relief when she realizes it was just you. 
“Girl what the HELL is wrong with you?!” She hisses, laying back down and throwing the blanket over her head.
You, being the ever loving and best roommate ever, respond to this by jumping into bed with (on top of) the redhead and squeezing her as tight as you can while screaming “I HAVE A DATE!!!”
Xiaoting shoots back up, your arms still latched onto her torso as she looks down at you, eyes wide. “Wait, are you serious?”
You hear a low groan and a hand slapping your arm as you roll your eyes, slapping the arm back as the voice of Yujin grumbles out and shuffles deeper within the sheets.
Both you and Xiaoting look at one another and giggle before she quietly slips out of bed, quickly placing a kiss on Yujins head before grabbing your arm and leading you out of her room. Once outside, she firmly grasps your shoulders. 
“Okay, now tell me everything.”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You nervously stand outside of Ningnings apartment, bag clutched in hand as you look back behind you. Xiaoting sat within her car on the side of the road, keeping an eye on you to make sure this girl wasn’t going to kidnap you or the other.
The two of you (and soon enough Yujin and Hikaru) had spent the day giving you pointers on how to go about the date. They had thrown an ungodly amount of clothes your way as well as telling you endless conversation starters and compliments to give another person. By the end of it all your head was overflowing with information that you were going to forget as soon as you head out the door, and all of your closet was sprawled on your bedroom floor and in the living room. Still, the girls seemed quite proud of their work.
All of you had consecutively agreed on an outfit that was nice, but not too nice. You wore a plaid skirt paired with a simple tank top and an off the shoulder cardigan.
Holding your breath, you ring the doorbell. You really hoped this wasn’t a mistake. When was the last time you were actually on a date with someone? You couldn't remember. After a few moments of silence, you hear shuffling followed by the door unlocking and Ningning poking her head out shyly. Her eyes light up at the sight of you before opening the door completely, revealing her outfit.
She wore an oversized plaid button up, unintentionally matching with your skirt alongside baggy jeans and some bunny slippers you thought were incredibly cute. Her hair was tied up in a messy but charming bun, held up by a hair stick with small gemstones dangling from the end.
This Ningning was completely different from the one you had met at the bar last night. Though, you suppose you were a different person now as well.
“You're here! Come in come in!” She grabs your hand and guides you inside. Flustered, you spare a quick glance behind you, and you can spot the silhouette of Xiaoting throwing a thumbs up from her car before Ningning closes the door behind you.
“You look gorgeous today, by the way,” Ningning compliments, her thumb rubbing over your fingers as she walks you through her apartment. The gesture makes your cheeks warm, and you find yourself easing into her touch like putty. It was a touch that was loving. Kind. Intentional. 
Her home was cozy, with white walls paired alongside warm lighting and paintings and other wall art lining the interior. There was an appetizing aroma that wafted through the air, and you had remembered that Ningning had offered to cook for you.
“What have you prepared for us tonight, chef Ningning?” You ask, squeezing her hand as she grins, “Well it's not much, I'm not a really good cook but I decided to make us some dumplings! A little basic, but it's the only dish I feel like I’ve actually perfected.”
“I hope this is the hangover cure you mentioned” you comment lightheartedly, and you sense a playful energy in the way she looks back at you.
“You'll find out soon enough.”
You once again find yourself quirking a brow at her vague answers, but she simply smiles at you innocently and you find yourself smiling back. It was hard to not be amused by her.
Ningning guides you to the kitchen, which was cleaned perfectly for your arrival. On the center of the table were multiple bamboo steamer baskets, as well as a large tea pot and a simple glass bottle with various native wildflowers as a centerpiece. 
The other girl pulls out a chair for you, and you teasing grin at the polite gesture, “how romantic, Ninging~”
She rolls her eyes and giggles before settling down herself, instantaneously pouring you a cup of tea as she gestures at the baskets, “go on, dig in. I’ll be personally offended if you don’t.”
Chuckling, you open up the baskets, releasing clouds of steam before revealing multiple handmade dumplings with various fillings and differing folding styles. Your eyes widen, and you simply comment, “wow,” before taking the first bite of the food.
To say that it tasted amazing was an understatement– you practically felt like you were thrown back to the motherland with a single bite, and it wasn’t long before you were filling your plate with more.
The two of you had spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another more. You had learned she was a computer science major and going onto her third year of uni, as well as the fact she was from Harbing whilst you shared that you were from Shanghai. 
“Big city girl, huh?” Ningning amusedly comments, sipping on her tea as you roll your eyes, “yeah… But I'm not rich or anything before you ask.”
The blonde feigns rejection as she snaps her fingers, “damn. I was gonna ask you to buy drinks next time we head to the bars, I think you owe me. ” She smiles at you, and it's warm.
You liked this. You liked how easy it was to talk to her. It was never this easy before.
Soon enough you had ended up on Ningning’s couch, browsing through movies aimlessly as the hefty meal threatened to send you into a food coma. The blonde lay comfortably in your arms underneath a blanket, her eyes occasionally fluttering shut as you continued to search for something to watch.
“Hmm, what about… Velocipastor?” The name completely throws you off guard, prompting you to click on it, skimming over the description as you feel the vibration of Ninging lazily humming beneath you. 
“Oh that movie is really good, trust me.”
“... Really? Are you sure, Ning?”
“Yeah yeah…” Her eyes were already shut as she spoke, nuzzling in closer to you as you chuckle, putting on the movie as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her in closer. 
Honestly, the movie seemed to be an excuse for the girl to be physically close to you– maybe get a nap in? You weren’t even sure if she was watching the movie at this point. Still, maybe it was for the best. Velocipastor was definitely not well funded within its production, that much could be seen. Plus, you couldn't complain about having a cute girl in your arms.
“Does your head still hurt?”
Ningning’s soft voice rings out, startling you. Honestly, you were getting pretty invested in the film, you had thought she already fell asleep.
“Mmm, a little. I don’t think your hangover cure worked.”
“Oh, the dumplings weren’t the cure.”
Your head cocks to the side as you tear your gaze away from the tv screen, looking down at the girl nestled on your chest as she looks back up at you. There was that all too familiar glint in her eyes again.
“Then what is?”
A mischievous grin curls on her lips before she leans in, connecting her lips with yours. Still a bit sluggish from the night before alongside a hefty meal, her kissing was a bit sloppy, but it was soft. Much softer than before.
You feel yourself almost immediately sigh into the kiss, and you would have found it embarrassing if she didnt guide her hand up your chest, to your neck, and into your hair, soon deepening the kiss. 
Not expecting things to escalate so soon, you couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper as your hands landed on her hips, nails digging into her sides desperately as she laughs against your lips, pulling back. 
“You’re really cute, y’know?” She purrs, using her hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face, and you can see the hint of pink spread across her lips as she smiles, drinking in the sight of you.
Before you even have a chance to respond, Ningning tackles your jawline, trailing kisses down your face and onto your neck. You try to respond, but when she starts to nip the side of your neck, the words you wanted to say somehow managed to melt into complete mush.
“Mmhmmhgh…” 
The sound that escapes your lips allows you the chance to actually feel embarrassed, and you slam a hand over your lips, looking away from Ninging. Your response elicits another laugh from the blonde, and you swear you could listen to the sound forever. 
Her symphony soon quiets though, and Ningning looks you straight in the eye, her gaze softening as she opens her mouth, struggling to find the right words to say.
“Look, I know we just met…” she trails off for a moment, almost a bit shy to continue, “but if you want to give me a chance and see where this goes, I promise I’ll treat you so well.” 
Her eyes are filled with genuine desire for you, and you couldn’t help but feel… Isolated? Targetted? For the first time you feel like you’re seen, and you don’t know what to do about it.
She presses on, “I’d really like to see you again, and I know you’re going through a lot right now but I want to be there with you every step of the way. I want to see where this takes us.”
“I want you, y/n.”
Your face heats up instantaneously, and you swear your eyes were threatening to bulge out of your skull right then and there. You look at her in silence as you struggle to find your words, and after a few seconds you finally croak out,
“I… I want to see where this takes us too, Ningning.”
Her eyes brighten at your response, and she beams, pulling you into a tight hug on the couch before interlocking her lips with yours once again. You giggle into the kiss, and throw the blanket over the two of you as the movie on the tv buzzed on. For the first time, you found someone warm enough for you.
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newtkive · 1 year ago
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pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 1 - the gc birth
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in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends
or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28
__
THE GLADE
[ 7:45 PM ]
alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally
alby: Hello, guys.
minho: wtf is this
newt: uhhhh
tommy: hi :3
y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private
gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number
newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n
tommy: oh that’s y/n?
alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??
newt: yea
tommy: o.O
y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao
tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????
y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p
newt: lmao
minho: ik he smug as fuck rn
not u asking for a girls number lmao simp
newt: stop
y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it
plus you guys are friends irl so idk
it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh
minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n
we play games all the time
call all the time
we even send packages and shit
you’re very much considered our irl friend
y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺
tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️
minho: the heart eyes are crazy
but yes dude
newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you
minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO
but real ig
y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE
hahahahha
HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR
I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER
gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys
minho: gally sleeps in the corner
gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion
y/n: cherry blossom mansion*
gally: and you sleep in a shed
y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.
tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰
y/n: love you tommy <3333
minho: that’s actually nasty stop now
y/n: u mad ur unloved
i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((
newt: aw it is
minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord
alby: I’m done with Discord.
newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate
minho: mate 💀💀
british people so crazy
alby: Yes maybe..
I don’t want to make another.
y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to
minho: LMAO REAL
alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)
minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀
newt: minho admitting he’s jobless
minho: you work at a library be so fr rn
newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.
gally: LMFAOOOOOOO
minho: stfu :////
y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY
tommy: YAAAY!!!!
im going to text you guys all day
tell you every meal
every thought
every interaction will be meaningful and glorious
newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that
minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit
why not just do it before in the discord ??
tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..
y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy
newt: ok second thought that’s fine
minho: .
gally: that’s wild.
y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST
newt: first with what
y/n: say what u ate today
newt: didn’t say i’d do it.
tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333
you guys next
minho: that’s all you had bro..
y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D
minho: ??????? BRO
how are you guys alive
y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking
newt: please eat and drink water.
like for real and document it
y/n: ok wait
Tumblr media
there
tommy: yum!
minho: y/n..
newt: cereal does not count
y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY
im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare
newt: alright what do you want?
y/n: wym?
newt: like if you could pick.
minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it
i like it go on.
tommy: i want chick fil a
minho: i knew you hate the gays
tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????
y/n: ugh that does sound good
mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch
newt: that’s what you would order?
y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh
newt: ok
minho: that’s it?
i thought soemthing would happen
tommy: me too
like a spell! magic 🪄
y/n: sigh
my cereal tastes bad now
newt: well it is cocoa puffs.
minho: L cereal
y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG
minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L
newt: you're annoying minho
minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that
newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying
minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday
newt: ???
myself
and i paid for yours too
im the one with an income
minho: .
well i didnt think youd remember that well.
newt: it was literally yesterday.
minho: yeah but ur old
newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU
minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔
tommy: guys stop fighting
newt: we aren't fighting
maybe this gc was a bad idea
tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!
y/n: NOOOO!
tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl
y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was
y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.
wait there is a knock at my door im scared
newt: answer it
minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????
newt: well usually yes
y/n: no im not expecting company
newt: just do it pls
y/n: ok :D
minho: bruh..
i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt
newt: why would you want that
minho: bc she owes me money
newt: YOU owe ME money
minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux
tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE
y/n: :o....
tommy: Y/N?????????
OH GOD THEY GOT HER
minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got
tommy: clearly its a surprised face
maybe its not her
its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use
y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!
minho: me
newt: you literally did not
minho: shut up
y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt
newt: well
y/n: :(
newt: what why are you sad?
minho: im hungry too
y/n: u spent ur money :(
newt: you're hungry are you not?
minho: she's not but i am
y/n: yeah but..
i feel bad you shouldn't have
newt: just eat it or i'll be mad
minho: i think i want red lobster
newt: it's really no big deal y/n
y/n: thank you newt :(((((
newt: you're welcome
go eat and watch ur show or smth
minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving
newt: can you shut up
gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.
minho: thank god
newt: good
tommy: good
y/n: good
the food is good too <3
newt: good.
_
lmk if you want to be tagged!
424 notes · View notes
dilf-rot · 5 months ago
Text
Avoidant Attachment
based on Anon request :  could you do a fic of meeting Logan and wade in the void and joining the team? Logan and you are into each other but are kinda awkward hide behind being mean to each other wades so over it later on smuttt <3333
Word Count: 5841 
Tags: Wolverine x Reader, Worst!Wolverine x Reader, Logan howlett x Reader, Fem!Reader (kinda?), Wade is here too, Meeting in the Void, Deadpool 3, Deadpool and Wolverine, Laura is Also here, 5 people in a one bedroom apartment is a great idea, Althea is here briefly, dogpool mention, slower burn but like not really, mutual pining, Wade and Laura as wingmen, insults as flirting, eventual smut, One bed trope included, P in V, Riding
AN: This one took a lot longer than I was expecting, probably since I haven’t written Wade before and I didn’t want it to suck, and also because I was quite busy irl. Regardless, thank you for the request and your patience, Hope you don’t mind my interpretation of the prompt<3
If you enjoy my work consider sending me a tip at https://ko-fi.com/rotwrites (Not required by any means, writing requests are still free!)
MDNI 18+
—------------------
The Void. Boring as Hell, and yet somehow worse than hell. At least Hell would grant you company, shitty company, but better than the dust and trash here. You don’t even remember why you got put here. Probably some bullshit you weren’t even responsible for. You had a pretty lame set up, just a hole in the ground really. And you’d find garbage to shift through, look for food. You had managed to do pretty well on your own for a decent amount of time. Other than being lonely, and the occasional breakdown, things weren’t so bad.
The air was stale and unremarkable, as was the sky, no sign of oncoming doom or any excitement for the day. Or so you thought. 
Over the horizon of dusty dirt and forgotten garbage, appeared two silhouettes. 
As they approached, inching closer and closer you debated on whether you should interact or just ignore, they didn’t seem like they had been here long. 
You watched closely waiting for your moment to make a move. Listening to them as they approached.
Deadpool. Common, usually annoying. 
But the one with him. That’s a rather rare sight. You had never seen one of him before.
They seemed like they were on a mission, maybe trying to escape from here. If you could escape, maybe you could return to something approaching a normal life again. 
You decide to take the chance.
“Hello,” You pop out from your little shelter. Both men jolt into action, blades and guns drawn. The man in yellow, the interesting rare man, had blades coming out of his hands. “Oh no, not a threat.” 
They regard each other and then put the weapons away.
“Knew I smelt something,” his voice was rough and it added to his appeal for sure. 
“And you didn’t want to say anything? Some blood hound you are!” Deadpool spoke, punching the gruff one in the shoulder.
“Sorry, I know you’re a Deadpool. But you are?” You point to him. 
“Logan,” “Wolverine,” they speak out in tandem. 
“Right, so… what’re you doing this far out?” 
“Not telling you random dirt dweller,” Deadpool looked back towards Logan, and seemed to be weighing his options.
“Ok well, if you decide to be friendly I could offer my help.”
“You don’t look like you’d be of much help,” Logan retorted as he looked you over. You were obviously smaller and not as strong as either of them, but you had some tricks up your sleeve.
“Ouch, I would be offended if you didn’t have hair like kitty ears.” You pointed up at Logan’s hair and he seemed surprised by your response. “I’ve been in the void longer than you, I’m sure I know some things that would be useful to you,”
“Listen, Kid-”
“Yeah, me and Kitty Cat here are trying to get back at that bald freak show of a woman and escape this hell. So unless you know how to do that, I’d stay out of it, dust bunny.” 
You laugh and look at the state of them, confused but still combative, barely holding it together and hardly friends. “That’s a good one. Good luck with Cassandra then, Ketchup and Mustard.”
Deadpool gasps and Logan seems to have the inklings of a smile on his face but it quickly fades when you turn to look at him. You sit down on a nearby piece of rubble and watch as they take a few steps away and start to argue about what the plan is. You smile and wave when they look back at you.
“Ok, so what do you know?” Deadpool asks, rushing back up to you. And so you do your best to fill him in on as much as you know about the void itself and Cassandra. All of which seems to not be that useful to him as he just sort of brushes it off and continues, “Well as much as I’d love to have you on the team sunshine, seems like Wolvie over there isn’t too keen on it.” He points over to Logan, who turns away and kicks some dust and debris around. “But, between you and me, he’s just bad with girls. Especially pretty ones with quick mouths.” 
You blush a bit but return a quick retort, “That’s fine, not like I have anything to escape back to anyway. Good luck, random Deadpool.”
“It’s Wade.” 
“Right,” You wave as he runs back to Logan. You imagined it wouldn’t be that long before you see them again, mostly because you had planned on following them, or at least trailing them for long enough to find a new place to stay. 
—-----------
You meet them again at the safe house with Laura, she drove them here and plopped them down without a word. She had been very welcoming when you had wandered this way in search of food, and let you join them for a quick meal. You had told her that you saw Wolverine, and her interest had been piqued. She explained to you everything that had happened before she was sent here, and the two of you bonded over not having something to return too. Although now, with this Wolverine sitting in the same space, it seemed like her chances were looking up.
You figured you’d let them be once they woke up, and wait it out. By the time everyone had finished their speeches, you just stood behind them and waved. You didn’t have much to say, everyone else had much more valid reasoning for wanting to escape than you. You could hardly remember life before the void, if you even had one. Luckily, nobody ever bothered to press you about it, probably assuming you had forgotten for a valid reason. So when Deadpool- Wade, asked you for your input, you sort of just shrugged. Listening to them all plotting was entertaining at least, you were sure you would be of much use, maybe an extra distraction, at the very least you could cover them enough to get the job done. 
You noticed Logan slip out with a bottle of liquor in his hands. You gave Laura a nod before following him outside.
He had started a fire, and was sitting watching the flames.
“So how’d someone like you end up with someone like that?” You gesture back up to the house, as you stand against a tree, watching the fire flicker in front of him.
“It’s complicated.” He says taking a swig from the bottle.
“It always is.” Silence runs through the trees, nothing but crackling fire and the dead stale air of the void. “At least he seems fun.”
“Hah,” He breathes out.
“If that’s what you’re into.”
“No.” His gruff demeanor drops for a second, the bottle halting as he brings it down from his lips.
“No?”
He looks you over, before turning away.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll say a prayer for your liver,” You reference the bottle in your hand. He nods, and you walk back up to the house, passing Laura on your way in. She’d probably have better luck cracking him than you.
You wondered if you would ever have a chance to mean something to him, to be more than some small tag along he sniffed out in the dirt. If he would ever find you to be a friend, an ally, someone to talk to, depend on. But you hardly just met, and hardly discussed anything other than half baked insults and nihilistic opinions of the void and your futures.  
—----------------
Wade and Logan had somehow convinced the TVA after everything with Cassandra to allow you and Laura to stay in this universe, and you weren’t sure how or why they wanted you to come along. Laura made sense, he felt responsible for her, and to make up for losing her Logan, to make up for missed moments. 
You? You hardly had a clue why they wanted you here. Or why they offered to let you stay with them until you found something else. You were surprised that Althea would agree to having 5 people sleeping in a tiny apartment. You appreciated the shelter, you were just very very confused by the entire situation. 
“Hello my little floor sleeper, how were your dreams? You were moaning about something…” He slides up next to you in the kitchen as you're pouring a cup of coffee.
“Hi, Wade.” You sip from the mug, not answering his nonsense.
“So,” he jumps up to sit on the counter in front of you, “You gonna spill? Tell me all about your honey badger dream fling? I was surprised you didn’t just wake up and mount him right there on the floor.”
“Shut up, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, the three of us sleep in the same tiny space, I hear everything.” 
“I’m gonna steal the couch space from you if you don’t drop it.”
Laura had been given a space in Althea’s room since the boys figured she deserved it, and You, Logan, and Wade were stuck in the living room. Rotating between the couch and cheap air mattresses, usually you just stayed on the floor and let Logan and Wade fight over the couch space. Compared to sleeping on grass and dirt in the void, an air mattress was a definite improvement. As long as Mary Puppins didn’t lick you to death in your sleep, it wasn’t a bad deal. 
“Come on, just admit you like Loggie Bear and I’ll get you some alone time with or without the couch.” 
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Currently, no.”
You sigh, and walk towards the bathroom to change, locking the door behind you as Wade continues to ramble and try to get you to slip and say something about Logan. But you won’t, even if he is right.
There were many nights where you thought about climbing into bed next to him and pressing your face against his chest, breathing in his scent, being held close to him by those utterly ridiculous arms, having him place warm chaste kisses against the top of your head. But you wouldn’t.  
You hardly knew him, and what you knew about him led you to believe that he was not the kind of man to be interested in someone like you. Although he had become more pleasant after having been invited into Wade’s life. Some days he still was that gruff sort of emotionally unavailable man you met in the void, but other days he’s sweet and gentle and kind, usually whenever Laura’s around. It’s as if he’s been given a reason to live again and he’s navigating how to be a person again. 
After you get dressed, you grab your bag and head out, avoiding Wade and his nonsense. You told Laura you’d meet her after her class and go to a cafe she’s been wanting to try. It’s just down the street from the apartment, but the walk is nice and gives you time to get your thoughts back in order. Trying to keep Wade’s pestering from seeping in and getting you to slip up.
When you get to the cafe, Laura is waiting for you outside. You go in and are met with soft florals, sleek wood finish, and the overwhelming smell of coffee. It is so cozy and bright, a welcome break from the dim and crowded apartment. Laura orders something you didn’t know was a thing, and you opt for a simple latte. She finds this funny and smiles at you, “Don’t you want something sweet?”
“No, I’m alright.” You lean against the wall as you wait for your order.
“What’s with you and Logan’s hatred for sugar?” She asks as she slides over to stand next to you.
“I don’t hate sugar, I’m just not in the mood for it.” You shrug and stare at the counter.
“At least you get milk with your coffee, better than black like Logan drinks.” She laughs again and grabs your order when it’s called. The two of you find a nice table by the window and enjoy watching the people passing by. When a particularly handsome man passes by, Laura perks up and asks, “How about that one?”
“He’s alright, not really my type though,” You shrug your shoulders and take another sip from your cup.
“You’re right, I already know your type.” The grin on your face reminds you of how Wade greets you in the mornings.
“Oh yeah? What's that?” You look at her quizzically. 
“Starts with an L and ends with an ogan”
You groan, “Don’t I get enough of that from Wade?”
“I think everyone can see it but you, even Al.” She looks up at you from her drink, in a way you both know she’s right.
“Wow,” is all you can muster in response. 
“I don’t know why you won’t do something about it, and look if you’re worried about me, don’t be. I give you full permission to pursue my not Dad kinda Dad.” 
You quickly try to change the subject, and once your coffee's finished and you’ve loitered around, you walk back in a knowing silence. 
You do have some sort of crush on Logan, but you feel like it would be too ideal to expect him to share those feelings. Especially when you aren’t one hundred percent sure what those feelings even are. He is exceptionally good looking, and well built. If it weren’t for his confrontational attitude and lack of expression, you’d be so certain in your attraction. But there is something blocking you from fully admitting it to yourself.
Maybe it is simply your lack of self, having to build back an identity from nothing, that keeps you from knowing if He is it for you. Even though sometimes he is all you can think about. When you catch him playing dad with Laura. When you catch him helping Althea, a gentle smile plastered on his face as he speaks soft and gentlemanly. When he falls asleep on the couch with Mary Puppins in his arms. The images of the side he works so hard to hide, the soft domesticity he allows himself so rarely. That is what really sticks in your brain.
Along with the less than innocent images you have carved into your brain. Like that time he forgot you were home and came out from the bathroom only wrapped in a towel. The water clinging to his muscles and dripping from his hair. Or when he had his sleeves rolled up while walking around the apartment, the skin shiny from sweat, and all you could think about was what it would feel like to be held in place by them.
When you remember yourself, both you and Laura have made it back to the apartment. 
—-------
You were surprised that for once, everyone was home for dinner, and it wasn’t even a special occasion. Wade decided that it would be easiest to order some pizzas to avoid having to cook. You didn’t complain, even if you would have preferred a home cooked meal, pizza was fine. Of course he had gone to pick it up and left you with Logan, Laura, and Althea. She, reasonably so, had her spot already picked out in the armchair by the window. Logan and Laura were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, watching something on tv. All the while you sat on the floor, legs folded over each other, leaning back on your hands. 
“Why don’t you come sit on the couch?” Laura had asked, and you knew she already knew the answer, which was that you didn’t want to be so close to Logan that you would be touching. You had been cultivating a very specific environment with him, one where if you could just avoid any close contact with him, you could pretend like your heart didn't ache at the thought of him.
“I’m good here,” You didn’t bother looking away from the tv, which you weren’t even watching. 
“Come on,” Laura patted the cushion next to her. 
“Maybe I don’t want to sit next to the cat,” You looked over your shoulder at them. Logan was leaning back into the cushions behind him.
“I don’t want to sit next to you either,” His tone was only slightly malicious.
“Good.”
“Just sit on the couch,” Laura insisted. 
“No. He reeks, I think the animal dna gave him the scent too,” You waved your hand in front of your nose.
“But I don’t smell,” Laura sniffed her shirt.
“You reek too, ya know?” Logan pointed to Mary Puppins in the corner, “Probably cause you’re always sleeping next to that.” 
“Thanks. She’s actually a better roommate than you.” 
“You all stink,” Althea commented from her spot. 
As you stood up to walk towards the kitchen the door swung open. “PIZZA TIME!” Wade shouted, carrying the stack of boxes into the apartment. 
You ate mostly in silence, as Wade rambled on about something or someone that you had no interest in. Lately he was obsessed with those trashy reality tv shows were people all live in one house and things go wrong one way or another. You felt like you were already living in that, no need to watch strangers go through it too. It’s not that you felt like you were walking on eggshells, or that you weren’t welcome. More so that you were waiting for this whole thing to blow up in your face. 
—---------
It was late in the morning when you managed to roll out of your bed. Logan and Wade had already been awake and were trying their hardest to be quiet. Rather, Logan was quiet, and Wade was not. You didn’t hear what they were talking about, only that Logan mumbled something under his breath and Wade turned to see you sitting up on the floor.
“Good morning sleeping beauty! Pancakes or waffles?” He turned to you and you saw he was wearing one of those tacky ‘kiss the chef’ aprons.
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and stood up to stretch, “Whichever you’re less likely to burn.” 
Wade feigned offense, as you walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth and hair. “How do you manage to sleep so soundly down there?” Wade called from the kitchen as you walked back into the living room.
“I don’t.” You pulled out a chair and sat at the dining table, still groggy. “Which is why I need to get a job, and my own place.” 
“You’re leaving me?” Wade gasped, and crossed his hands over his heart. “How could you? What about the kids?” He started making a big fuss about it as if you hadn’t told him before that this had been your plan. “I can’t believe you would leave me alone with honey badger and the little ones! I can’t raise them alone.”
“Everyone that lives here is an adult, Wade.”
“Let her be,” Laura said as she slid into the kitchen and sat next to you. She smiled at you and nodded. 
Wade and Logan joined you at the table, sliding the plates of pancakes to you and her. They weren’t burnt, which was progress. 
—--------
You had spent the day job hunting, and apartment hunting, which was not as important since you kinda needed the money first. The cafe you had been to with Laura was hiring, though not having much of a resume due to the whole void and lack of a world thing, probably meant your chances of getting hired were slim. You submitted an application anyway, and to a few other shops and things in the area. Hopefully something would stick.
There really weren't many options in the area for apartments either, but when you ran into the building manager they had mentioned that one of the other units on your floor might be opening up soon. It wasn’t ideal to be in the same building as Wade and the others, but it was your only lead at the moment. 
When Wade got home, he had a sort of look in his eyes, which you had learned meant something was up. And when Laura came home with the same sort of look, you were even more suspicious. 
“What are you two doing?” You asked, approaching them in the kitchen.
“Well I thought I could do something nice for you,” Wade had his hands behind his back, holding something hidden from you. “And Logan,” he whispered but you still caught it.
“What?” Logan appeared from the bathroom, and leaned against the wall.
Wade handed you a piece of paper, “Tada!” You looked over the paper, it was a reservation confirmation for a hotel. “A magical getaway for you and the kitty cat to work out your differences at an all inclusive resort!”
“This is a Best Western.” The dates on the sheet were for tomorrow, Friday, until Sunday morning. 
“Did I stutter?” Wade stood with his hands on his hips.
“Who said I wanted to do this?” Logan asked, coming up behind you to look at the paper. He was so close you could almost feel his warmth against you. 
“Come on, you complain about the air mattress all the time,” Laura started, “This is your chance for a real bed.”
“Ok? So why do I have to go with her,” He was looming behind you, and the deep vibrations of his voice made your cheeks redden.
“It was cheaper to have two guests than one.” 
“Fine,” He walked away. You were also surprised that he would so quickly agree to something like this. As it was so obviously a set up. A plot against you.
“Perfect! Now go get packing!” Wade slapped you on the shoulder, and smiled. You knew this was all his idea. 
—-------
You were expecting this to be a set up, but when you opened the door and saw only one bed you knew it to be true. Logan walks in while you hold the door and he drops down onto the edge of the bed. You sigh as you drag your bag in and make a mental note to get back at Wade later. You turn the TV on to try to dispel the oppressive silence in the room, but all that's on the hotel cable is questionably written Hallmark movies. Logan shifts on the bed, and you hear it creak under his weight. You wonder what he would feel like on top of you, if he would crush you entirely.
 You sit in the chair that's against the wall, peering out through the cracks in the curtains to stare out at the parking lot, the sun is low against the horizon, and it’s surprisingly quiet. You can hear the fabric of the cheap hotel sheets rustling under Logan, along with the sound of his breathing, as he leans back into the bed, and you wonder how long you’ll be able to survive in a small room alone with him.
Despite having slept in the same room for the past few months, this is an entirely different situation. There’s no Wade, or Laura, or Mary puppins, or Althea. It is just you and him, in a hotel room, with one bed. Which was certainly a set up from Wade, in his quests to get you to admit your feelings for Logan. 
“Are you hungry?” You try to break the silence in the most mundane way possible, at least to save yourself from the discomfort.
“I could eat,”
“We could get room service?”
“Fine by me.” You toss him the menu and once you both decide on what to get you call it in. It was going to take a while, so you decided to take advantage of the luxury of a hotel shower. Telling Logan you wouldn’t be too long and to let you know if the food came before you were done. 
The shower is nice, clean white tiles, and a rather standard sort of set up. It is nice to have some time to yourself, despite Logan being in the other room, you try to allow yourself this time to relax. Letting the hot water soak into your skin and soothe your aches and pains. The sound of the water blocking out any thoughts or concerns about the current situation, letting you forget, at least momentarily, that you would be having to sort out the sleeping arrangements. The hotel soap is tropical, but gentle, not too overwhelmingly sweet or fruity. As you lather up you can barely hear the sounds of the tv in the other room. It is so still and unremarkable. It feels normal, but somehow you wonder if you can ever shake the loneliness of time in the void, if you can allow yourself to have a normal life again. As if you can build back something you don’t even remember. As if you deserve this space that has miraculously been carved out for you, for some reason unbeknownst to you. 
Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a knock on the door, and the noise of Logan’s steps going to retrieve the room service. You quickly rinse and towel off, wrapping up your hair and sliding into the hotel bathrobe. 
“Food’s here,” Logan calls from behind the bathroom door. You wait until you hear him sit back down on the bed before opening the door and returning to your spot in the chair. 
The two of you eat in silence, and you can’t help but notice his eyes on you. You wonder if it is just in your head, or if he is actually trying to steal glances at you from across the way. You tried to ignore him, to stare fully at the trash tv movie, or at the weird art on the walls. Anything but him. If you could just pretend like he wasn’t there, you could make it for the next two nights. 
Although being this close to him in a small hotel room was not the ideal scenario to make forgetting about him easy. His breathing was audible. His presence was palpable. Even the vague scent of whiskey, cigars, and sweat was radiating from his position on the bed. Every little detail filled your mind with a fog, and all that was running through your brain was him. Over and over. Logan was everywhere. 
“You want to sleep soon?” His voice cut through the haze and you practically snapped your neck to look over at him.
“Hm? Oh… uh yeah probably.” You couldn’t help but look directly into his eyes, and you felt like you should disappear so that he couldn’t make you feel so foolish. So utterly trapped by the idea of him. “I can Just take the cushions from the chair and sleep on the floor,”
“That defeats the whole point of Wade’s gift.”
“So?” You started pulling the cushions of the chair and throwing them on the floor.
“You can sleep up here in the bed,” His voice was commanding. It was no longer a polite suggestion. “I don’t bite.”
“Right but-” As you go to protest, he interrupts.
“We can face opposite ways.” 
And so that is how you ended up in your pajama shorts and a ratty tee shirt, in bed with Logan. Who, true to his word, had his back facing you, and you had your back facing him. You could hear your heart beating, and no matter what you told yourself you could not get it to slow down. His presence, only inches away, was consuming you. Your mind is unable to stop racing with images of him holding you down, touching you, eating you alive. Making you squirm beneath him. You squirmed and thrashed trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, but even with your eyes screwed shut you couldn’t.
“Stop moving,” Logan’s voice was low and rumbly. He turned towards you, and laid his arm over your middle, pulling your back against him. “Go to sleep,” He murmured, his lips against the back of your head. 
He was warm and solid behind you, his body pressed to yours gently. His grasp on you wasn’t tight, but the sheer weight of him kept you firmly in place. As you tried to quell your heart and steady your breathing, you finally managed to drift asleep. And stay asleep, the entire night. 
—-----
The hotel was so quiet and peaceful, and clean, compared to the apartment. You managed to sleep soundly, and stay asleep until late in the morning. You had nearly forgotten about the situation, until you were met with Logan’s arm still snuggly wrapped around you as you opened your eyes.
His lips were pressed to the back of your head, his muscular frame firmly pressed against your back. His grip had tightened in the night, and he had pulled you even closer to himself. As you tried to remove yourself from him, he grumbled against you, “Stay.”
“Logan-” You tried to protest, to escape from the growing embarrassment and heat building up in your body.
“Just a bit longer.” He groaned, and pressed himself further into you. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the growing bulge against your lower back. 
“Logan, please. Let me get up.” You pushed against his arm, and tried to pull yourself away but you were no match for him. 
“Why?” His voice was losing the grogginess of sleep, he was almost fully awake now. 
“Because-” You tried again to free yourself.
“Don’t you like me?” He sounded cocky, the question perhaps meaning to be playful but it stopped you dead in your tracks.
“I-” You stiffen, unable to react accordingly. 
“Then, stay.” Taken aback by his words and sudden clingy behavior, you realized that maybe Laura had been right, and everyone, including Logan, could see it. The way you had begun to feel about him, the almost immediate crush you developed as soon as you spotted him in the void, the way you felt thankful to have the chance at life again, simply because you wanted the chance to spend it with him.
You lay stuck in his arms for an unknown amount of time, the silence makes you a little uneasy, but his warmth and tenderness keeps you from leaping away. You didn’t imagine him to be someone so gentle, although you had glimpsed some of his more domestic behaviors when he thought it was just Him and Laura at home, and he would fuss over her like how you would want a good father to do. You felt safe and held by him, the frantic thoughts and anxieties being melted away into the warmth of him and his body against yours. 
As you nearly drift asleep again, he speaks, “Turn around.” And so you do, clumsily, but when you see his face those frantic thoughts and the racing of your heart begins again.  
“So pretty like this,” He murmurs, his face and voice soft. And before you can respond he closes the gap between you, his hand lacing in your hair and pulling you into him as he presses his lips against your gentle and steady. The brief taste of him makes you crave more.
As he pulls away to search your face for any signs of discomfort, you pull him back to you, your hands reaching up to his face to crash your lips into his. You whimper against him as his hands run down your spine and land on your hips, pulling you as close to him as he can. You can feel your arousal pooling between your thighs as he darts his tongue in to meet yours, twisting and tangling yourself with him as much as you can. The months of unspoken tension pouring out of you and dissipating as you desperately try to push yourself against him. You bring your hand down to paw at his bulge, darting your fingers across the fabric of his pajama pants. 
He smiles against you as he catches your hand with his and bring it under the waistband. You gasp when you realize he had not been wearing anything underneath his pants. Your fingers wrapping around him, the warmth and size of him in your hand making your head spin. 
His hands find their way to the edge of your shorts, pulling them and your panties down your legs as he breaks the kiss only for a moment to find his breath. His fingers trace up and down your thighs, pressing gentle circles into the skin before he pushes his hand between them, his palm pressing into you. The brief friction against your clit drawing a short moan from you. His hand rubs against you, the pressure making you grind down to meet him, craving more.
You whine as he pulls his hand away, only for him to grab your hips and pull you on top of him. His back against the bed as he brings you to straddle him. You kick your shorts and panties away, as he pulls his pants down further. His erection springing up against you. You can barely focus long enough to glimpse the size of him, too overcome with greed and arousal. 
You sink yourself onto his cock as his hands guide your hips. You moan at the stretch of it. He lets you catch your breath as you take him down to the hilt. His hands never leave you as he kisses and nips along your neck and shoulders, your head pressed against his shoulder as he begins to rock into you, whispering praises and filth against your skin. 
You grind your hips against his, the head of his cock dragging along that magic spot inside of you that causes the pleasure to build and the knot in your stomach to tighten. He growls in your ear as you tighten and pulse around him. You can feel the pressure building, making your head spin. He slips his fingers into your mouth and you greedily accept them, sucking and licking and kissing along them. He removes them and a trail of your saliva beads down them. He brings them between you to rub circles on your clit. The sensation dizzying, as he draws you closer and closer to the edge. Your moans are frantic as you practically pant against him, begging him not to stop, that you’re so close, so so close. 
With one steady thrust he snaps the last thread and you come undone around him. The feeling of you cumming around him bringing him to his limit, if he wasn’t so enraptured by you he might have been embarrassed with how quickly you’ve made him cum. His warmth fills you as you come down from your high, hazy and drooling. You smile as he presses you against him. You don’t mind staying like this, you whine when he tries to move.
“Alright, princess. I’ll stay.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
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wingsofachampion · 8 months ago
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OOC
I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not mad at anyone. I love the Pokemon IRL community, and I'm so so happy to be a part of it. And I don't plan on leaving for good anytime soon.
But. Look.
This is getting out of hand.
I've been here since November of 2022, and I haven't seen things being this bad in the community since The Incident.
I'm trying as hard as I can to hold things together, even when it seems like everything's falling apart. But it's getting really exhausting.
So that's why I'm making this post.
There's a lot of problems happening in this community, and I'm going to try to address at least a few of them in this post.
So, here we go.
Part 1: Anon Hate & Other Harassment
There's unfortunately a lot of this in the community. I've been a victim of it myself.
Anon hate is a serious problem that has led several pokebloggers to completely disable anon asks or even leave the community entirely.
I'm not sure how to combat this, unfortunately, other than blocking them as they come, but that's an imperfect solution.
There's also been direct harassment, too, not just through anon asks. I'm unsure how to tackle that either, but I'm spreading awareness just in case.
Part 2: Lack of Engagement
There's a ton of blogs that get little to no engagement, and not for a lack of trying. Pixelated made a great post on this already, so I won't rehash it much.
My main advice is to send asks. That goes both ways. If you see someone struggling to get engagement, send them an ask, brighten their day!
And if you're struggling to get engagement, send asks to as many blogs as you feel comfortable. That way, you put your name out there.
I know it can be scary to send asks, but if it helps, you can send one to me! I won't bite!
Part 3: "Cliques"
There's a lot of subcommunities in the Pokemon IRL community. Eebydeebies, Fallers, Blueberry Academy, and so on. And that's great! What's not so great, though, is how some of these can be rather cliquey.
Sometimes, it's hard to join a subcommunity. Sometimes they push you away, are just difficult to fit in a new blog, or something else.
I've been trying to remedy this in the eebydeeby subcommunity by having Gen send asks to every new eeby blog I can find, but I'm not in every subcommunity, so I can't do this for all of them.
What I suggest to remedy this is, those in subcommunities, reach out! If you see someone trying to join, reach out and welcome them in! Send them asks! Tell other people in the subcommunity about them! Let them know that they're welcome there.
Part 4: Lack of Warnings During MMM
This one is something that mostly just affects me personally, but Muse Mixup Madness has been extremely stressful for me because people keep completely changing up their blogs with little to no warning.
One of my worst triggers is post-apocalypse, and I've been jumpscared by this several times during Muse Mixup Madness by blogs that were previously safe.
Please warn what your Muse Mixup Madness stuff will contain, and please use content warnings, too.
Part 5: New Blogs Dying
This is one of the ones I'm saddest about. Almost every day, there's at least one new person trying to join Pokemon IRL, but 75% of the time their blog dies within a week.
I recommend supporting newcomers as much as you can. If you see a newcomer, send them an ask! Interact with them! Boost them if you feel comfortable with it! Don't let them feel so discouraged that they leave so soon.
I recommend checking the reblogs on realpokemon's pinned post every so often. It's a fantastic way to find new blogs.
Part 6: Exhaustion & A Call for Help
I've been trying very very hard to fix things, but I'm only human (as much as I wish I was a Meganium). I can't do everything by myself.
So I'm asking for help.
I have two blogs primarily made for boosting. @pkmnirlblogboosting and @tacklrnews. Former is OOC, while the latter is IC.
Pkmnirlblogboosting is for boosting blogs that either have less than 75 followers, or are less than a month old. If anyone wants to help me run it and boost blogs, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to pkmnirlblogboosting.
Tacklrnews is for reporting on events that are happening in-character. Its primary purpose is to boost stuff happening on people's blogs that they want more people to see and interact with. If anyone wants to help me with this, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to tacklrnews.
A caveat with tacklrnews: It's fully in-character, so you'll need to create a character for it to be a part of Pelipper's little news agency. It also writes articles on Pokemon RPC and Pokeask blogs, so to people in those communities, this offer is open to you all, too.
I hope these will both be helpful in revitalizing the Pokemon IRL community.
Part 7: Moving Forward
So, how do we move forward?
I think we should be more supportive towards others in this community. Less OOC anon hate and harassment, more engagement and boosting. Tell your fellow blogrunners how much you appreciate their blogs! Let them know they have people who care about them.
I love this community so, so much. I don't want it to fall apart and die. I'm doing everything in my power to keep it standing, but I'm just one person. I need your help, too.
Together, we can make this community better.
That's about all I had to say.
If you've read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read through this.
I'd appreciate any reblogs to spread this around, but don't feel pressured to if you don't want to.
I hope you all have a wonderful Pride Month.
-Bench
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another-supernova-girl · 2 months ago
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An Exercise in Control - Cooper Adams/Abbott x Fem OC
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* Part ? : A Winter's Interlude *
So...I am currently on day 4 of dealing with what I assume to be a cold, and since I'm feeling pretty wretched, and have no one to show me the slightest hint of care IRL, I thought I'd write a little something with Cooper taking care of my OC when she's sick. Slight spoilers, as this takes place after the main story (that is not yet completed). All you need to know if that Delilah has, at this point, found out Cooper is The Butcher, and she is living in her own apartment now. That's pretty much it outside of what is already in the posted chapters 1-3. Gif is mine.
CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3
(( word count ~ 1,700 ))
🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪
“Hey, man, she's not here today.” Cooper heard the words come out of the bookstore employee's mouth before he registered they were directed at himself, and he swerved around on the spot toward the younger man.
“Excuse me?” he asked, his expression neutral. Cooper had encountered the young man before, and didn't love the fact that he happened to be his girl's co-worker, but he knew he wasn't a threat.
“Delilah? You're lookin' for her, right?” the younger man clarified. “She called in sick.”
“Is that so?” Cooper replied, his hand digging into his pocket for his phone, seeing no missed messages or calls when he checked the screen. Is she was sick, it was news to him.
* * *
“I'm...I'm coming,” a hoarse voice sounded from inside the small studio apartment that Delilah resided in when she wasn't at work, or at Cooper's house. “Sorry, the app isn't updating, I guess,” she croaked as she unbolted the lock, dragging the chain away, and opened the door to a far more familiar face than she expected. “Cooper?” she whimpered, her voice barely recognizable, as she stared up at the looming man, a look on his face she'd never seen so transparently – selfless and full of blatant concern.
“Why didn't you tell me?” The Butcher asked as he began to reach a large hand out, his movements stilling as he was met with a crackling cough.
“It's not a big deal,” she mumbled, continuing to stand in the doorway, grasping the frame and the solid wood, blocking his entrance. “It's just a c-” she began to insist, but another noisy cough cut into her words, and her grip on the door in her grasp weakened, Cooper taking the opportunity to infiltrate the diminutive apartment. “It's just a cold,” she insisted as she pressed her body weight against the door, shoving it closed again after her failure to keep her boyfriend out of her living space.
“I don't care if it's just a cold. You should have told me,” he insisted, his tone commanding, as he glanced over his surroundings. He'd spent more hours in the little apartment than he could count, but he'd never seen it so disheveled. Looking back to his paramour, he realized he'd never seen her quite so disheveled either, as least not under circumstances that didn't involve himself, and his seductive control over her. Sex was the last thing on his mind, however, as he looked her over. “Baby, you should have told me,” he spoke again, his voice far softer as he strode the short distance between them and pulled her into his jacket-covered arms before she could vocally protest.
“Cooper, sto-” Delilah began, but another round of rattling coughs escaped, her face warm, her eyes glistening when he pulled away just enough to peer down at her. “I don't...I don't wanna get you sick, too,” she rasped, but The Butcher was having none of that.
“I'm not worried about getting sick,” he insisted, his eyes darting back to the door at the sudden sound of knocking.
“It's my delivery,” she mumbled as he abandoned his hold on her to return to the door, opening it to find a stranger holding bags of food.
* * *
Cooper took control of the situation, despite Delilah's protests, instructing her to get in the shower while he set to work, shuffling through her collection of medicines, and ordering up various caplets and cough syrups for another delivery. Making a quick sweep of the apartment, he gathered up used tissue boxes and overflowing bags of their previous contents, freezing for a moment every time he heard a series of coughs sound from the bathroom. By the time he stepped into the steam-filled room, Delilah had given up on standing, and he found her instead sitting in the middle of the tub with the hot water pulsing against her bare back.
“Cooper, I'm serious, I don't w-” she began to protest again when he pushed the door closed behind himself, watched as he began to strip off his security guard uniform, fold it up and set it on the corner of the sink.
“I told you,” he retorted as he stripped down to nothing, and shoved aside the translucent curtain to reveal the equally nude young woman inside. “I'm not worried about me getting sick...now, stand up, sweetheart, let's get you clean.” Cooper stepped into the shower and grasped her hands for leverage, caught her against his body when her feet nearly gave way below her, and felt her warm, wet frame collapse against his.
“Cooper...” she murmured as he set about cleansing her, applying shampoo to her hair and working it through as her hands clung to his shoulders, head handing forward, staring at their feet. Every part of him really was so much bigger than her equivalent.
“It's okay,” he answered, gripping the detachable shower head to rinse her hair clean. He repeated the process to re-shampoo, condition, and cleanse her body, his actions thorough but surprisingly chaste. “We'll have to do this again when you're feeling better,” he quipped, grasping her carefully by her waist and turning her around to rinse the suds away. She nodded slowly, content to simply stand in the moist heat and feel his hands on her. Delilah was visibly disappointed when he finally turned the water off. “We can't stand in here forever, sweetheart. Your hot water is already running low,” he noted, and she nodded but spoke no words. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes watering as he began to towel her off, and Cooper felt her arms wrap around his waist when he worked his way back up to towel at her hair. Despite the seriousness of their predicament, his cock began to twitch to life at the press of her nude body against his, and he let out a sigh.
“I must not look that bad,” she mumbled, lying her temple against his chest, his strong arms wrapping about her and holding her even closer.
“Of course not,” he whispered as he rested his chin lightly against her crown. “But you sound miserable, baby.”
“I feel miserable,” she confirmed, closing her eyes, the fatigue of her body and mind making her even more compliant to his wishes than usual. A knock at the door, however, drew them both out of their moment of peace. “What's that?” she mumbled softly, before a cough took hold of her once more.
“Medicine,” Cooper stated, and her eyes were even more bleary as she looked up at him. “You can't expect to get better on nothing but soup and expired cough syrup.” She could do little but nod in defeat.
“Sorry,” she whispered, and he shook his head slightly, lifting the towel back up to place it over her damp hair, massaging gently.
“Don't be sorry, baby,” Cooper uttered as he tended to her. “Just...let me know, next time. There's no point in you suffering alone when I'm a text away,” he continued.
“I'm just-” another cough cut her off, and Cooper placed a palm against the middle of her shoulder blades, feeling her rattle against him. “I'm just not used to asking for help.”
“I'm aware,” he murmured, and she glanced back up at him, a weak smile on her lips. “But you've gotten used to a lot of things, lately, right?” She nodded, and he continued. “And this is no different. I want you to come to me when you need me...not hide away because...why were you hiding this from me, anyway?” Cooper asked suddenly. “I know it's not just you thinking you don't need help.”
Before she could answer, Delilah let out a noisy sneeze, closing her eyes tight, covering her face with her hands as Cooper ripped off some toilet paper and pressed it into her palm. “This,” she mumbled before blowing her nose into the paper, hearing the sound of her congestion in her chest and behind her ears. “I didn't want you to see me, you know...gross,” she admitted. Cooper stepped back as Delilah padded around to drop the used paper into the wastebasket, and she was surprised to see a serene smile on Cooper's lips when she glanced back at him. “What?”
“Baby, you're not gross. You're adorable-”
“No, I'm not-”
“Yes, you are...even when you're a mucus-y mess,” his smile broadened when her face flushed more, shaking her head and turning away from him to grab another towel, hanging from the curtain rod.
* * *
The sun had begun to set by the time the couple reemerged from the bathroom, and Cooper collected the delivered bag of medicines from outside, as Delilah dressed herself in the set of pajamas her Butcher boyfriend had laid out for her. Re-heated chicken noodle soup followed, along with a cap of revolting cough syrup, and promises that the flavor was worth the results. By the time the sky had darkened into inky black, the couple found themselves cuddled up on Delilah's bed, oversized soup bowl in hand, watched a short-lived television series she'd seen a dozen times over, neither occupant invested much in what played on the laptop screen.
Tissues were massacred unendingly by Delilah's nose, but the congested coughs became less frequent to her relief from the hideous cap of medicated liquid. Her throat scratchy, and made worse from talking, Delilah became mostly silent as she lay against the heat of Cooper's chest, his large hands grazing over her thighs and arms for comfort. Despite Delilah's concern over passing her sickness on to him, he had budged not an inch in his resolve, content to simply hold her.
“Are you staying the night?” she murmured against his cotton shirt, her breath coming out in warm puffs against the fabric.
“Of course...are you going to take care of me when I get sick with whatever you have?” Cooper whispered as his hands continued to stroke her limbs, Delilah tilting her head to gaze up at him, and the calm comfort of his features.
“Of course.”
🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪
COMMENTS AND REBLOGS AND TAGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED.💙
tagging : @gissellec1 , @sashimeep , @callsign-fangirl , @hibiskooks , @jessy02 ,
@charliehoennam , @bleeding-heartz , @gt-rxn , @simplymurdock , @lucy-sky ,
@pinkflowerwombat , @one-of-thewalkingdead , @strangererotica , @the-butchers-baby , @pinastrihaven ,
@amethystblackkchaos
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tic-loud-tic-proud · 2 years ago
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10 Tips for people with klazomania (screaming tics)
1, and this is one that has changed my life: if you have very frequent shouting/screaming tics, DO VOCAL WARMUPS! I used to consistently lose my voice at the end of every day before I started doing this. There are plenty of short and simple warmup tutorials online- find one that works for you!
2, if you live in an apartment building, make sure to tell your neighbors. You don't need to explicitly tell them you have TS, but make sure they know you make loud sounds frequently so they're not concerned. Putting a sign on your door also works. Remember: in the USA it is illegal for landlords to evict someone solely because of a disability.
3, if you're heading off to college and plan on living in a dormitory you might want to request not having a roommate. If you are already diagnosed with a tic disorder, it should be easy to do this through your college's disability services office. If you would like to have a roommate make sure they understand your tics.
4, if you are planning on going out (to a restaurant, theme park, museum, etc.) you might want to call the staff of the location to inform them you have tics a few days before. I usually call ahead to restaurants to let them know about my klazomania and coprolalia tics and I've found that doing so makes it easier for both parties.
5, going off of 4, if you're going to a theme park or large museum and plan to suppress at least part of the time, get a map and mark off secluded places where you can safely let your tics out.
6, if you'd like you can bring a stuffed animal out in public with you: both for emotional support and to muffle the sound of loud tics.
7, if you're a middle or high school student, email your teachers to let them know about your tics. If you have moderate/severe tics it was very important to me that I gave a presentation to each of my classes at the beginning of each semester to teach them about my TS. Another accommodation that I got in high school was being allowed to zoom into my classes instead of attending in person: So on bad tic days I would stay home, and my teachers would broadcast the class over zoom for me.
8, drink lots of water and purchase a humidifier if possible. At the end of a long day drinking fluid and being in a more humid environment will help to soothe your voice. Herbal tea with honey or mild broths can also help soothe your voice!
9, have a good network of friends who understand and support you. This is no easy feat and can take years but it will have a huge impact on your quality of life. Join a support group (IRL or online) to talk to other people with tics who understand what you're going through, and find people who share your hobbies and interests!
10, remember that your tics don't define who you are! It is not your fault that you have tics, and you are not doing them on purpose. Don't feel guilty for something you have no control over. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life just like anyone else!
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silviakundera · 11 months ago
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Did a speedrun through modern cdrama Everyone Loves Me because I'm a fan of both leads. A fairly well constructed romcom for a specific trope, AND also one of the most valid examples of the critique that cdrama storylines are pointlessly over-extended. This would have been a great modern drama at 12 episodes. Unfortunately, it's at least 10 episodes too long. The literal gaming (characters interacting while playing videogames) is very light - it's an initiating plot device piece but doesn't consume much actual screen time. The real genre is IT workplace romance with Hidden Identity trope.
Do you like:
* Capable & ambitious female lead x male lead with a competency kink whose turn-offs are white lotus & green tea girls and turn-ons are brash ladies who can cuss you out; dressing up to impress is not required
* Romantic dynamic of equal partners (2 strong personalities, not active/passive)
* "We don't know yet who is going to be the breadwinner. My goal is to be a CEO."
* Low heat (just a few kisses),
* modern workplace dramas (so much working)
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[heavy spoilers below]
The actual set up & outline are:
* Online friend group who casually game together, in the last days of university. One of the guys starts catching feelings for the girl, our FL (let's call him Gamer Friend). FL isn't romantically considering Gamer Friend at all, because she has a crush on a guy from her uni.
* This crush is Gamer Friend in rl! 😮
* ML isn't open to being crushed on by anyone at rl uni, because he is already hung up on FL (as his online friend) 🙈
* FL asks for advice from her gaming buds on how to pursue her rl crush. Gamer Friend doesn't want her to succeed, because he wants to win her heart, so he keeps giving terrible advice to chase him by acting out the soft-spoken innocent maiden archetype (the opposite of FL's real boisterous & brash personality)
* This creates a comedy of errors where ML in rl is being pursued by the woman he's in love with, but he's shooting her down left & right. This culminates in her confessing and he publically rejects her in a harsh manner. When she comes crying (and vengeful) to the group, the guys all realize the identity confusion. Appropriately horrified, bros have no idea what to do. (This whole scene is gold tbh.)
* This plotline covers 7 episodes, but should have been dealt with in 4.
* Next 5 episodes (should have been 2!): Gamer Friend, toiling under karma, tries to be virtually supportive of his beloved while in person desperately making gestures to show remorse & have her less willing to obliterate his RL person. (this is all complicated by them both hired into the same company post-grad; there's a whole gaming dev & art design subplot - like in Lighter & Princess, the writers did the research so the setting is reality-based). This arc ends with identity reveal: she finally knows irl crush = Gamer Friend
* Next 6-7 episodes lead her from being (rightfully) furious and humiliated to them finally becoming friendly & supportive of each other. He waits to ask for more until he feels truly forgiven for the shakespearean hijinks that kept them apart. Includes work drama and fake-dating For Reasons. This arc, again, could have been 3-4 episodes.
* Final 5 episode arc is dating era and culmination of the gaming dev plotline. Heavy emphasis on work drama. Only 2 out of the last 5 episodes had significant romance material for the main couple, which was the major flaw in the drama. Avoided the separation cliche but also no marriage scenes at the end - we just see that they're still close, supportive partners a year later. Should have been 3 episodes ;)
The structure is right for a simple rom com set up of: one party pursues, gets rejected, then the other party pursues & corrects their mistake. The misunderstandings are logical enough; FL is assertive and we see evidence of her talent (not just told); ML likes her for herself & doesn't want a childish, obedient woman like the idol dramas represent; they are shown to make a good team & respect each other; the wronged party isn't a push over and their forgiveness has to be earned. It's clear why they like each other and that they work as a couple. (Though the emphasis is on compatibility & domesticity rather than sexual heat.)
The showrunner just needed to compress each arc and spend a lot less time on corporate minutiae. The way I engage with this type of drama is to binge, skip all 2nd couple scenes, and liberal use of fast forward ⏩⏩.
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cellophaine · 1 year ago
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Sad Girl (Part II)
Read Part I
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Warnings: Angst, not a happy ending.
Author's Note: Sooo, I severely overestimated how much free time I would have, and as it turns out, I have had not a lot and will have none free time for the next three weeks. My irl project is quite literally consuming me on top of the packing for an across the globe trip, so I won't be able to work actively on any writing project at all 🥲 I will be back to writing and posting in late fall/early winter! (hopefully)
P/S: I might write a part 3 to make up for the angst but uhm ... please don't come for me over the ending 🫣
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Judging by the sound of people and traffic outside, Matt knew he had slept in. Not that it mattered since it was a Saturday, and he had nowhere to be, especially after a night of going all out on a celebration with Foggy and Karen on the occasion of winning a big case for their client. With the new bonus lined in their pockets, Foggy gave a passionate speech about the grand plan of upgrading the office; Karen daydreamed about a proper heater for the upcoming winter while Matt zoned out, occasionally chiming in with a witty remark. He didn't enjoy his win as much as he should, as a part of him wished he could see you and tell you about it instead. He knew you would be happy for him and listen to every detail, just like you did whenever he told you about his day, when he wasn't in a hurry to leave.
The talking clock announced the time and date, and as Matt shifted back to the bed, a thought struck him. It had been three months since his last illicit affair with you. Matt sighed, pressing his face into the pillow at the thought of you. He had been thinking about you more and more every day. Matt blamed it on his coming to the acceptance that what you and he shared had long dissolved into thin air, becoming something that never was before you met. But the history was still there, at least for him. It didn't get to disappear. It stayed in his head, haunting him like a shadow at the edge of his conscience, waiting for a chance to occupy his thoughts whenever he found his mind strayed, and if he had to admit it, he didn't want to let it go. Matt replayed the last night he spent with you over and over, prying for little details of what had gone wrong, only to come up with none. You were curt with him, and the rebuttal he came up with was you were tired. You even said it yourself. Matt left you alone that night after that, and he even made sure that the two of you were okay. But he guessed it wasn't enough, as you completely shut him out afterward.
From time to time, Matt would stop by your place to check on you, to see if the wind chime returned, only to be disappointed by its absence. He would perch on the rooftop of your building, listening to the sound of your soft laugh alongside your favourite show. Matt was so close, yet so far away from you. He had gotten used to the silence, but he hadn't used to not seeing you, being around you. Even though a small part of him was crestfallen that you didn't seem to miss his presence, it made him happy to see you were still doing well. Even if it was without him.
Turning on his back, with his hand stretched over the empty space beside him, Matt couldn't help but wonder why you cut all contact with him, and why he had been so bothered by the fact. He could take the hint and accept a rejection, but he couldn't understand why your silence hurt him the most of all. Something was missing; Matt could feel it so clearly when he returned to his apartment at night after your arrangement was abruptly over. His place didn't have your scent, your candles, or even the overpowering aroma of the ointment you applied on him when he needed it. He even missed the coarseness of your fine cotton sheets on his too-sensitive skin. Yet, none of these little things could even begin to compare to how often he found himself missing your presence most of all. Your steady heartbeat and the way it quickened when he touched you. Your comforting scent when he buried his nose into your neck. The way your thighs found their home around his waist when he fucked you into the mattress, your bodies moving together in a desperate attempt at getting closer and closer until you were joined in one body made of flesh and bones. It wasn't just the sex that he missed. His heart involuntarily yearned for your laugh, your presence, being around you. He remembered how your apartment smelled like the tea you drink and how it would be cold by the end of his visits. He missed the way you seemed to know what he needed by paying attention to his body language and the way he conveyed his needs without words.
Matt ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. He needed to take a walk, to allow his mind to be uninhabited by you.
As Matt padded barefoot through the apartment, he was reminded once again of you by the soft floral fragrance in the sweater you left at his place. It was you he smelled, a warm and sheer powdery iris that he could never mistake for someone else, and a mix of his own scent, too. When he first noticed it in his closet, his heart fluttered when he realized what it was. Now, with its new place on the top of a dining chair, the faint floral was a reminder of what you were to him. He wished he could restore it to your scent and your scent only so he could hold onto you a little longer. Matt caught his stray thought and steered himself away from reminiscing. It was dangerously close to the territory he couldn't afford to enter. So he shut it out.
He really needed that walk.
The air was crisp and clear, which made everything around him stand out more. Matt took a moment to take in his surroundings. The neighbourhood felt lively amongst the aroma of coffee, steaming broth, greasy food and freshly baked pastries. The revving of a motorcycle passed by him, making his brows furrow over the loud noise and the waft of smoke it brought. He smelled more food, more body odour, but amidst all that chaos, something familiar arose. The scent reminded him of you. And once again, his thoughts strayed as if he couldn't help himself.
How could he have predicted the way things ended with you? Even if he knew beforehand, he couldn't prevent it from happening. It simply wasn't meant to be. You and him both knew what you were getting into, and it was nothing more than a casual exchange. And if his exclusion from your life was what you wanted, he would respect that. Still, Matt couldn't make sense of his desolation. It confused him, all the thoughts running through his head, all the ache wrapping around his heart like cellophane, circling around the truth buried so deep that he couldn't feel it for what it truly was. It was almost as if his heart already knew, but his mind refused to acknowledge it.
The iris scent got stronger, and Matt directed his attention toward it. His heart seemed to recognize it before his senses caught onto it, beating faster as it came closer, accompanied by the rhythm of a heartbeat he knew so well. It was unmistakenly you, your scent, your voice, as all the tangible signals drifted to him. He was aware that you hadn't seen him yet; his feet involuntarily picked up the pace, closing the distance between you. You were closer to him now, the closest in months. He listened to your voice as you chatted with your companion, unaware of him. And when you finally saw him, Matt could tell as the breath in your throat hitched. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to say hi, a soft smile on his face.
It was only seconds, yet it felt so long as your jacket brushed over his on the busy pavement; the brief contact ended before it even began. You kept walking further away from him as Matt's heart dropped in the realization that you didn't stop to acknowledge him. The familiar ache took hold of his heart and squeezed again. Matt brushed the feeling off by taking his own steps forward and away from you, only with less certainty and excitement. He was still close by when he heard it. The conversation you had with your companion.
"Hey. You okay?"
The woman's voice was full of concern.
"Uh, yeah, I'm … I'm fine."
There was a touch of hesitation in your voice.
"Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost."
A small chuckle.
"I feel like I did."
A brief pause and a small yet determined exhale later.
"Don't worry. It's nothing."
His heart dropped even further at your words; the pain grabbed and pulled at his heartstrings violently. What you said to your friend manifested a bitter taste on his tongue, making his stomach churn. You pretending not to know him and ignoring him hurt him more than he realized. How could you? How could you act like the ink on the pages of your story had washed away so completely that the history you shared became a blank book? Why did he become nothing to you?
Matt wanted to know the unbridled truth and get the closure he was owed. He deserved that much.
About a week later, Matt waited for you to return home at the front of your building instead of the usual spot at your fire escape. It was late, almost time for him to go back to his apartment so he could start the patrol for the night. But that could wait.
Matt buried his hands into his pockets to shield them from the wind nipping at his skin. Leaning onto the brick pillar at the bottom of the steps, he closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart rate, reminding himself that it was just you, the woman he had known so well. But his logic persisted. Maybe he didn't know you at all. He could barely understand himself these days. Who was he to say that he knew you for who you really were?
His heart picked up its pace again once he heard the sound of your voice neared. You were laughing alongside the familiar voice from last week; the slightest slur in your words was enough for him to know that you were tipsy. The uneven clicks of your heels on the ground became steadier as you made your way toward the entrance and stopped when you approached him.
Matt stood up straight, clearing his throat softly.
"Hi."
"What are you doing here?"
You wasted no time. Your voice was cold, and your demeanour was curt.
"I need to talk to you."
Your companion's voice interrupted him.
"Who are you?"
You pulled at your friend's sleeve, and after a brief pause, she released a small gasp and a soft "Oh". She then turned to him, her voice stern, leaving no room for any other interpretation.
"My friend doesn't have anything to say to you. So you can–"
"Mindy. I got this."
"Are you sure?"
Matt listened as the conversation wrapped up, with Mindy getting into a cab and you promising to call her if you wanted to talk. You closed the door, waiting until the taxi pulled away before returning to him, still keeping your distance.
"What do you want to talk to me about?"
Matt took a small step forward.
"About what happened between us."
"There is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened."
The blankness in your voice made him feel like his skin was pricked with needles. He scoffed, bewildered with disbelief at your outright denial.
"I wouldn't call cutting off all contact, out of the blue, without an explanation, nothing."
When you didn't say anything, he continued.
"Why did you shut me out? It's like our relationship meant nothing to you."
His words seemed to get to you as you snapped back at him.
"There was nothing between us. There was no relationship."
You enunciated your words, making your intention clear.
"I cared for you the same way you cared for me. Isn't that something?"
The harsh puff of air escaped from you was scornful, and Matt knew he was getting somewhere.
"No. You don't know what you're talking about."
"Of course I do. What do you mean by that?"
You stepped closer until you were inches away from him. You were so close that Matt could feel the tension in your body, the way your fists clenched into themselves, the way your heart pounded in your chest.
"You want the truth, Matt? The truth is I didn't want to set myself up for more disappointment, so I did what I thought was best for myself."
His brows scrunched together at the meaning behind your words.
"What kind of disappointment?"
You sighed heavily.
"The kind that came from knowing I could never be more to you. I thought you cared for me, Matt."
Your voice had gone quieter, so small that he felt like it took all of your strength to physically say it. He softened at that, and his hand reached out to find your cheek.
"I did. I still do."
But before the contact happened, you took a step back, avoiding his hand.
"No. You don't care about me like the way I cared for you. I was just your side piece that you could fuck whenever you–"
Matt was so taken aback by your firm conviction that he didn't register the latter part. He didn't care about the way you seemed to shy away from him and grasped your arms, pulling you close.
"You're more than that to me! You're my friend."
His chest heaved in exertion. He didn't know what else he could do to convince you. When you spoke, it was the way your voice shook that broke him.
"That wasn't enough for me, Matt."
Your hands came up to hold onto his arms, your grasp weak, but it gave Matt some hope. You swallowed hard.
"I lov– I liked you, so much that my heart hurts whenever you didn't stop by."
His heart rattled in its cage, wanting to break free at your confession. Your voice was so small, yet your words carried so much weight.
"I thought we could be more, but you confirmed that it wasn't in the cards for you, so … I did the best thing for both of us. I didn't want to waste anymore of your and my time."
Matt loosened his hold, his head dipped as he hoped you were looking at him.
"You knew what it would be like to be with me. I would go out and I might get hurt, and I didn't want to leave you by yourself worrying about me in case something happened."
You tore yourself away from his grasp, your voice raised in what felt like exasperation.
"You don't get it! I already went through those worries when we were still sleeping together. I was always worried about you when you got injured, when you came to my place just a little later than you said you would. I would be worried sick. So don't feed me that bull shit. I knew what I was getting myself into."
Matt fell silent, and for the first time, he lost his defence. So he returned to the start of it all.
"We agreed to be casual."
"Then why did you act like my boyfriend? Cuddling me to sleep? Making sure I was okay after a shitty day at work? I thought it was you showing that you cared about me more than just a fuck-buddy."
Your anger only intensified at his attempt at calmness.
"You're worth caring for. I didn't regret anything I did for you."
You chuckled, the sound bitter to his ears.
"Right. It doesn't matter anyway. You already have someone else waiting for you at home."
Confusion clouded his thoughts.
"What are you talking about?"
You scoffed in disbelief.
"I'm talking about Karen Page."
"What about her?"
"Don't pull that shit with me. I know you're together. I could tell by the way you acted throughout the interview and the photoshoot."
"You got it wrong. We used to date, but not anymore. We're only friends. Please, you have to trust me."
He could hear you moving toward him before feeling a jab of your finger at his chest; your face was closer to his for the first time in months.
"I don't care what the two of you are anymore, okay? It looked like that from my end. Do you know what it feels like knowing that you were made the other woman? I even defended you before my friend, saying that you actually loved me. I was so fucking stupid."
Your last words were dripped in a teary tone. Matt was speechless as you sobbed; the sound made his body throb with pain as if he was dealt with a thousand cuts. He noticed the way your heart thundered in your chest, but it wasn't out of dishonesty. It was out of the hate and love you had for him, both surging at once. Your heart thumped vigorously for him; your body burned with fervour because of him. He was too stubborn to see the signs for what they were: the affection and devotion you saved for him, reflected through the little things you did for him. You didn't have to say it. Your feeling for him was tangible and real, like the feel of your finger prodding at his chest. Real like the tears on your face at the expense of his unintentional ignorance.
Your hand fell to your side. Your anger subsided; now you were depleted, and Matt hated that he was the source of your distress.
"Please, understand where I came from. I didn't want to be a home wrecker. I just couldn't do it anymore."
He nodded. The silence stretched as the two of you let the confession infuse the air between you. Matt had asked for the truth, and he got it. Yet it was so suffocating that he felt like he couldn't breathe. All of your cards were laid on the table, and it was his turn to reveal his.
You sniffled, and your voice sobered up. But Matt could still hear the shakiness in it.
"Anything else you want to tell me?"
The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. He held his cards close, afraid to confront the aftermath. After all, he had so much to lose.
You took his silence for your answer. You trained your voice to be cold again.
"Right. I hope you got what you came here for."
You brushed past him and ascended the steps, leaving Matt where he was: at the front of your door, in the cold autumn wind, alone. Like he always had been.
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*Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!* Follow my side blog to receive notifications whenever I post! @cellophaine-archives
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the-insan1ty-clause · 1 month ago
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🌌 Intro 🌌
intro (condensed)
The first version was so long we apologize. Will be keeping it up but heres my version 🤭
Collectively, call us Orion. We go by he/him pronouns unless otherwise specified. (Sidenote for any irl friends who may receive the honor of our blog; Orion is our collective name specifically online. If u know us irl, you already know what to call us 🤭)
will be using the tag "The stars are talking" to indicate text we added either in reblogs or original posts
Sideblogs;
Interests- @the-insanity-clause-interests
Littles/syskids- @the-1nsanity-clause-kits
bodily a minor. Interact with care. (Just dont say anything weird, really)
we mostly post plurality and therian content.
plural; we're pro endo and mixed origin ourselves. The Orion Collective (or Constellation for funsies). We typically dont go by ourselves singularly, but here are some of the headfriends who may show themselves
Tomberlin; stole the name from the singer, lol
Angel; the most social
Beia; rambler (she/her preferably plus others)
Zebra; placeholder name, prob
Somber; i like lover's rock
Caban; sounds sarcastic but isnt i promise. Usually overcompensates for this (w a lot of hearts (🫶) and stuff). Likes to say bitch a lot but attempts to refrain
Jade; keeps everything in order inside
Pace (she/they) / Paisely (Xe/xem); separate but go hand in hand. Bit less positive folk but we love them anyway
therian/otherkin; we are horse, maned wolf, red fox, elk, deer, snowy owl, angel, elf, to name the more prominent ones.
No particular dni's but youll be blocked or at least ignored if youre rude or exclusionist around us.
we love and welcome interactions!! Please send us asks, leave comments and likes, reblogs, dms, w/e. We're here to be social with beings like us, or who are just generally different than the typical and acceptable. Since we dont get that experience irl. Tone indicators like /srs and /hj are helpful to some of us that arent great at discerning tone from text. But not required or expected!
please tag or put warnings on food related stuff when interacting !!
also forgive us but we're actively learning how tumblr works. We dont really know a lot of the etiquette and technical stuff. Apologies!
(free) commission info somewhere below the cut!
Extended Vers; extra info
We're psychologically therian, generally. Woof!
Lgbtqia- We're apart of this as well. Though i wont get into the details on that, haha
Interacting- the only rules are, no nsfw/explicit content, and do not ask for money or for us to promote you. Failure to follow this could result in anywhere between deletion, blocking, and reporting. Second chances rarely given.
We're diagnosed with a few things and undiagnosed/self diagnosed w/ others. Please refrain from talking too much about food and/or abuse without a tw or some sort of warning while on our blog. Things like asking our fav food or eating habits, while innocent, isnt exempt from this. Thanks :)
Now for the fun stuff!
We repost stuff about our interests (ex. Arcane, dai, etc) to our sideblog, @the-insanity-clause-interests
Our littles use @the-1nsanity-clause-kits as their sideblog
Rundown- our interests include Arcane, httyd, dai, pokemon, kipo, jentry chau, dead poets society, The Hobbit, studio ghibli films, wings of fire, the end of the fucking world, and many others. We absolutely WILL go on rants about any of these with the slightest provocation. Yall've been warned :3
on this blog, though, we mainly just post and reblog stuff related to any of our identities. Like stuff about being therian, plural, lgbtq, etc. As well as the other random tumblr things we find.
We do a lot of creative stuff. We do (nondigital & typically not colorized) art (our pfp is a drawing of ours), sometimes various crafts (for example, we made a mask of one of our theriotypes), we are in a local choir, and sometimes write music, poetry, and stories (though we've never really posted that stuff before). We do (free) commissions/requests if anyone happens to be interested. We're short on time these days, so it may take a while to get it to you, but feel free to send us an ask/message regarding it if youd like! (Note, if theres something you want, and its not listed here, just ask- theres a good chance we'll make it. Like alter packs, for example, cuz thats the only thing i can think of at the moment, HA)
Hope yall enjoy youre time here. Happy hunting, woof!
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moonstruckme · 9 months ago
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Okay sorry I don’t want to burden anyone I know irl so rant below ! Cw for anxiety maybe? Please feel no need to read, everything is fine in my part of the world :)
I’m graduating on Saturday and that’s already more scary than exciting unfortunately, but a couple of days ago I got turned down for the only position I wanted in the city I live in now, so I’ll officially be moving away at the end of the summer. The thing is, I have no idea where !! I’ve always wanted to move out of my home state so it was never the plan to stay here, but there was a weird sense of comfort in the idea that I could potentially just stay where I am right now, continue to hang out with my friends who are doing grad school, kinda sorta pretend to just still be in college for another year or so. Which maybe wasn’t the best idea, but the familiarity was like a security blanket. Now, I cannot stop thinking about how I have no idea what I’m going to do.
I really hoped I’d have a job lined up by now, but as it stands it seems like I’m going to be working 3 jobs until my lease ends in August and after that I have no clue where I’m going. Jobs in my industry are worryingly scant and while I’m trying to make my peace with working in like a coffee shop or a bookstore or something (which I think I would be perfectly content with, at least for a while) the amount of decisions that leaves me with is stressing me out so bad. I have to figure out where I want to live, get a job there, go and find an apartment with some roommates, make all new friends, etc, etc. I’m terrified.
I have literally one friend who isn’t going on to some kind of higher education and she’s already gotten her dream job after applying to two (2) places, and I’m genuinely happy for her but it makes me feel like such a failure that I’ve applied to dozens and not even gotten an interview. I want so badly to just do something I care about but I feel like soon I’m going to have to settle for whatever pays rent. I keep telling myself that that’s fine, because plenty of people live that way and I’m sure that so long as I keep writing and have some good people in my life I’ll be happy, but it’s so so scary to know that in a couple of months I’ll be leaving all my friends and family behind but have no idea where I’ll be going.
I’m really not trying to whine, I know that I’ve been extremely lucky to go to college and enjoy barely paying for anything the last few years (I have a scholarship that pays for most of my rent and my parents help me with grocery money). There are genuinely awful things happening all over the world right now, and I live in a country that affords me a good amount of safety and have parents who I know would step in to help me if I were literally starving. I’m just sort of coming to terms with this being the first time in my life that I’m completely on my own. I’m confident that I can find something to keep myself alive, but I’ve been very lucky to have great friends and a very contented life so far, and I’m both grateful for that and terrified it’s going to end soon.
I can sort of feel myself on the edge of a wee breakdown and that really cannot happen right now because my family and my long-distance bestie get here tomorrow for graduation so I’m going to have to be very smiley and confident for at least the next few days ! And anyone I shared this with would be taking on the burden of feeling some kind of guilt, which of course I don’t want to put on anyone. So yeah. Sorry to do this here, but I really felt like I had to externalize this somehow and you guys are my unfortunate victims!
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sb-essebi · 1 day ago
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Tag game - Get to know your mutuals!
Thank you for tagging me, @joyful-soul-collector !
What's the origin of your blog title? it's a play on a nickname only my best friend uses IRL.
OTP(s) + Shipname:  lately Jayvik (Jayce/Viktor from Arcane) is all I want to write about. But Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling from Sandman) and Kirk/Spock are still way up there.
Favorite color: Red and blue.
Favorite game: Dnd for board games. For video games it changes all the time, I'll go with Witcher 3 or Baldur's Gate 3.
Song stuck in your head: None right now! But until yesterday I spent three days with Zorra by Nebulossa stuck in my head.
Weirdest habit/trait? This is probably very tame, but for the past month I've gotten into the habit of eating breakfast just standing by the counter, something I've always considered unwell freak behavoiur until now.
Hobbies: Reading, writing, playing video games, watching tv shows, drawing.
If you work, what's your profession? I'm still a student, but I'm finishing my masters soon and already doing a stage so, in practice, translator.
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Writer. But, like, I'm paid a living wage to write whatever I want all day long kinda writer.
Something you're good at: Writing, I like to think! I'm also good at cooking.
Something you're bad at: talking to people, especially if I need to ask for help/clarification/advice.
Something you love: Writing... obviously :'D
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Any show or movie or book or game I like, honestly. Also, linguistics.
Something you hate: Rich people who hoard money and do nothing with it. I don't mean just billionaires, I mean my landlord who owns three apartments, evades a bunch of taxes, has a good job and still would rather die than spend 1 cent to fix the door.
Something you collect: I try not to collect anything anymore because I can't keep up with the expenses and/or cleaning. But I do still buy a magnet for each city I visit to keep as a memory. Forgot to say, I love travelling!
Something you forget: ........everything? Severe ADHD here. It'd be easier to say what I don't forget, which is mostly details about my friends' lives.
What's your love language? Quality time and acts of service.
Favorite movie/show: Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean 3 hands down. Show... probably Star Trek the orginal series.
Favorite food: french fries.
Favorite animal: WOLFFFFFFF
What were you like as a child? spent all my free time reading with occasional 16-hours bouts of video games. I was lonely, sheltered, largely unsupervised for as long as I can remember, then left home alone all day by age 11.
Favorite subject at school? Science!
Least favorite subject: Math. Still hate it.
What's your best character trait? Loyal, great listener.
What's your worst character trait? probably the aformentioned difficulty asking for help/clarification/advice
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? cure my ADHD.
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? idk man, I just wanna see dinosaurs. But I think it'd be neat to meet Tolkien if only to talk about linguistics with him.
Tag as many mutuals as you want: @ghostboyjules @softest-punk @avelera @blueberrymffn @wistfulchicken @yendarvis @wordsinhaled
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