#at a time where their actively trying to get people to stay off the road

[jedi-bird]

My new star wars books have been delivered, just as the rain is starting. They are currently sitting downstairs "decontaminating" so I can start reading them hopefully soon (brain has been refusing to focus on books lately which pisses me off). Family stuff is...shit again. I'm tired and stressed, so sleepy tea has been made and I'm just trying to relax.

[lumberrobot]

Summer's Serenity

kim minji x fem!reader

notes: long ahh summer jdojawjd

warning/s: ending is kind of ambiguous (idk, probs none)

genre: fluff

The first day of camp was supposed to be fun—exciting, even. But Y/N didn’t feel any of that. She sat in the back of the bus, arms crossed and earbuds in, pretending to be lost in the music. In truth, she couldn’t focus on anything except how much she didn’t want to be there.

This summer was supposed to be different. Y/N had planned to spend it with her friends, hanging out at the local café, catching up on shows, and maybe—even—getting a summer job to save up for something meaningful. Instead, her parents decided it would be “good for her” to get out of the house, to “experience nature,” and to meet new people at a camp in the middle of nowhere. So here she was, shipped off for two months like some sort of package that needed to be handled by someone else.

The bus bumped along the winding road, and Y/N sighed, glancing out the window at the trees whizzing past. The camp brochure had promised activities like canoeing, hiking, and bonfires—none of which excited her. She had never been the outdoorsy type. Give her a good book or a night out in the city, and she was content. But a whole summer surrounded by bugs, dirt, and people she didn’t know? That was a different story.

When the bus finally pulled into the campgrounds, Y/N braced herself. Camp Bunnies stretched before her—a sprawling patch of cabins, fields, and a lake that glittered in the afternoon sun. Kids her age spilled out of the bus, chatting excitedly as they lugged their bags toward the main cabin where registration was set up. Y/N hung back, dragging her feet as she approached the entrance.

“Hello! Welcome to Camp Bunnies!” One of the camp counselors, a tall, peppy woman with a clipboard, greeted her with far too much enthusiasm. “We’re so excited to have you.”

“Yeah… sure,” Y/N muttered, offering a half-hearted smile. She could already tell this place was going to be exhausting.

After registering and getting her cabin assignment, Y/N made her way to Cabin Four. Inside, it was as rustic as she’d imagined—wooden bunk beds, creaky floorboards, and the faint smell of pine. She threw her bag onto the bottom bunk and collapsed on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. Maybe if she stayed here long enough, no one would notice her absence from all the activities.

A soft knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. Y/N sat up just as the door creaked open, revealing another girl standing in the doorway. She had long black hair tucked behind her ears, dark eyes that sparkled with curiosity, and a soft smile that made her look approachable in a way that immediately set Y/N on edge.

“Hi, I’m Minji,” the girl introduced herself, stepping inside with her duffel bag slung over one shoulder. “Looks like we’re cabinmates.”

Y/N offered a tight nod. “Yeah. Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you.” Minji’s voice was cheerful, but not in the overly peppy way the counselors had been. She seemed genuine, just trying to be friendly, not force anything.

Y/N shifted awkwardly, unsure how to respond. She wasn’t in the mood to make friends, not now. She had resigned herself to spending the summer in solitude, waiting for the days to pass until she could go home. But Minji didn’t seem to notice her reluctance.

“You’ve been to summer camp before?” Minji asked as she started unpacking.

“No,” Y/N replied shortly. “First time. Probably last.”

Minji chuckled softly, sitting down on her bed and giving Y/N a curious look. “Not a fan of the outdoors?”

“Not really. This wasn’t my idea,” Y/N admitted, feeling a little more comfortable now that Minji wasn’t forcing small talk. “My parents thought it would be ‘good for me.’”

“I get that,” Minji said, nodding in understanding. “My parents think I need to ‘learn new skills’ and ‘get out more.’ So here I am.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem like you hate it as much as I do.”

Minji shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I try to make the best of things. It’s easier that way.”

Y/N didn’t say anything, but she noticed that Minji wasn’t like the other campers who seemed to thrive in this environment. She wasn’t loud or overly social, but there was something comforting about her presence. Maybe this summer wouldn’t be a complete disaster if they stuck together.

=======

Over the next few days, Y/N and Minji settled into a routine. Y/N remained hesitant, still holding onto the idea that she didn’t need to make any real connections here. She resisted the scheduled hikes and nature walks, and the team-building games that seemed to exhaust her more emotionally than physically. But each time she felt herself retreating into the familiar comfort of solitude, Minji was there, not pushing, but quietly bridging the gap between Y/N and the rest of the camp.

One afternoon, after a particularly grueling archery session where Y/N's arrows missed the target entirely, she found herself sitting by the lake, feeling the cool breeze ruffle her hair. It was a secluded place, tucked away from the noise of the camp, with a clear view of the water. The distant sounds of laughter and chatter from the other campers faded as she focused on the rhythmic lapping of the water against the shore. She hadn’t even noticed Minji approach until the other girl sat down beside her.

“You looked like you were about to murder that target back there,” Minji said, a playful grin spreading across her face.

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. “I hate archery.”

Minji nodded sagely. “Yeah, I could tell by the way you aimed at the ground three times in a row.”

Y/N chuckled, her tension easing a little. It was one of those subtle things Minji was good at—making her laugh, softening the edges of Y/N’s frustration without ever making her feel like she was being laughed at.

They sat in silence for a while, the sun beginning its slow descent toward the horizon. The air smelled fresh—a mixture of pine and water—and Y/N could feel the day’s warmth lingering in the gentle breeze. She didn’t mind the quiet—not when it was with Minji. There was something calming about her presence, like she didn’t need to fill every moment with words.

=======

One evening, after dinner, Y/N slipped away to her favorite spot by the lake, craving the quiet and calm after the day’s exhausting activities. Y/N sat on the edge of the dock, her legs dangling over the side, watching the ripples spread across the lake’s surface. The orange glow of the setting sun reflected off the water, painting the sky in hues of pink and gold.

She didn’t expect anyone to join her, but after a few minutes, she heard soft footsteps behind her. Turning slightly, she saw Minji approaching, a gentle smile on her face.

“Mind if I sit with you?” Minji asked, her voice quiet, as if she didn’t want to disturb the peace of the moment.

Y/N shook her head. “Go ahead.”

Minji sat down beside her, their shoulders almost touching as they both gazed out at the lake. For a while, neither of them spoke, content to just sit in silence, listening to the soft lapping of the water and the distant calls of birds.

“I get why you like it here,” Minji said softly after a while. “It’s peaceful.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, her voice just as quiet. “It’s the only place where I feel like I can breathe.”

Minji hummed in response, and they lapsed into silence again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that felt like understanding, like the two of them were sharing something without the need for words.

Eventually, Minji spoke again. “You know, when I first came here, I didn’t think I’d enjoy it either. I thought it’d be boring, and I’d just be counting the days until I could go home.”

Y/N glanced at her, surprised. “You? But you seem like… you’re good at this. The whole camp thing.”

Minji laughed softly, shaking her head. “Not really. I just learned how to make the best of it as I said. But honestly, I didn’t start enjoying it until I met you.”

Y/N’s heart gave a small, unexpected flutter at Minji’s words, and she quickly looked away, staring out at the lake again. “I didn’t think I’d meet anyone I could connect with here,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “But… you’re different.”

Minji smiled, a warm, soft smile that made Y/N’s chest feel light. “I’m glad we found each other, then.”

They stayed by the lake until the sun had fully set, the sky fading into a deep, velvety blue dotted with stars. Eventually, they made their way back to the cabin, walking side by side in comfortable silence, the quiet of the night wrapping around them like a warm blanket.

=======

As the days passed, Y/N found herself looking forward to the quiet moments by the lake with Minji. They became a routine—an unspoken agreement that they’d meet there in the evenings, sharing conversations or just sitting in silence, watching the world go by.

The more they spent time together, the more Y/N found herself opening up. At first, it had been small things—stories about her friends back home, the summer plans she’d left behind, or complaints about the camp. But as the days turned into weeks, those small pieces turned into more personal ones. She shared her favorite books and the characters she loved most, the songs she listened to when she felt like the world was too loud, and her constant feeling of being out of place at camp, like she didn’t belong with the other campers who seemed to thrive in this environment.

Minji, in turn, shared her own stories. She told Y/N about her love for music—how it had always been a way for her to express herself when words failed. She talked about her family, her school, and how she often felt like she didn’t quite fit in, either. Despite how effortlessly Minji seemed to handle camp life, Y/N learned that Minji had her own moments of feeling like an outsider.

One night, after a particularly loud and lively campfire, they sneaked away from the group, retreating to their secluded spot by the lake. The faint flicker of the distant flames barely reached them, leaving the two of them wrapped in the gentle embrace of the night. Minji leaned back on her hands, her gaze fixed on the stars above, her dark eyes shimmering in the moonlight.

“You ever think about how small we are?” Minji’s voice was a soft murmur, like she was speaking a secret only meant for them.

Y/N followed her gaze, staring at the endless stretch of stars above them. “Like, in the universe?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of overwhelming, but also… freeing in a way. Like, all the things we worry about—they’re so small in the grand scheme of things.” Minji’s voice was thoughtful, soft, and Y/N found herself hanging on every word.

Y/N’s heart tightened as she listened, the quiet vulnerability in Minji’s words making her feel both comforted and exposed. “I never really thought about it that way,” she admitted. “But you’re right. It makes everything feel… lighter. Like nothing’s as heavy as it seems.”

Minji smiled, her eyes catching the faint starlight. “Exactly. It’s like, whatever happens, we’re just tiny specks in a vast universe. It doesn’t mean our problems don’t matter, but… it takes the pressure off, you know?”

Y/N nodded, though something in her chest tightened. She hadn’t expected to feel this way—not just about camp, but about Minji. The quiet moments they shared, the way Minji seemed to understand her without her having to explain herself—it was all new and unfamiliar.

“Exactly,” Minji whispered, her gaze lingering on Y/N for a moment longer. “It’s like, in the grand scheme of things, it’s okay if we don’t have all the answers. We’re just... small specks in a vast universe.”

Y/N’s breath caught as their eyes met, and for a moment, it felt like the world around them had disappeared. It was just them—the two of them, under a sky full of stars, sharing something that words couldn’t fully capture. A quiet intimacy hung between them, and Y/N felt a longing she hadn’t been prepared for.

As Y/N shifted slightly, her hand brushed against Minji’s, sending a small, unexpected jolt through her. Neither of them moved for a moment, the light touch lingering between them. Y/N glanced at Minji, who was gazing out at the water, a soft smile playing on her lips. She didn’t seem to notice—or maybe she did, and just didn’t mind. Either way, Y/N felt a strange comfort in the quiet connection.

=======

Weeks passed, and their bond deepened. Sometimes, they didn’t need to talk at all. They would just sit side by side, watching the water as the sun set, the comfortable silence between them speaking louder than words ever could. Y/N found herself growing more comfortable, more open, with each passing day. With Minji, it wasn’t about fitting in or pretending to be someone she wasn’t. For the first time that summer, Y/N felt like she could just be herself, and that was enough.

Y/N had stopped dreading every moment of camp. Minji made things bearable—and maybe even enjoyable. The quiet, understanding way Minji navigated camp life, avoiding the overly enthusiastic campers yet still managing to find joy, made Y/N rethink her attitude.

During one memorable evening at the campfire, as they roasted marshmallows alongside the other campers, Y/N glanced at Minji, who was laughing at something someone had said. The warm light from the fire flickered across Minji’s face, casting a halo of golden light around her, and in that moment, Y/N felt a shift. It wasn’t just that Minji had made camp bearable; she genuinely liked being around her—more than she had anticipated.

A warmth blossomed between them, one Y/N hadn’t felt in a long time. It enveloped her like the heat of the fire, igniting her heart with a longing that felt both exhilarating and daunting. She caught herself entranced by the way the firelight illuminated Minji’s features, the way it highlighted the delicate contours of her jaw and the playful glint in her eyes. Each laugh that bubbled up from Minji’s lips resonated deep within Y/N, creating a melody of joy that danced in the air around them.

As they sat side by side, roasting marshmallows and sharing whispered secrets, the gentle warmth of their closeness ignited a flutter of something new in her chest, a tender feeling that made her heart race and her breath hitch. The way Minji’s shoulder brushed against hers sent sparks through her skin, igniting a yearning that had lain dormant for too long.

As they walked back to the cabin in silence that night, Y/N felt a flutter of something new in her chest—something that scared her a little. She wasn’t sure if Minji felt the same, but the connection they had built over the summer was undeniable.

The summer stretched on, transforming what had begun as an unwanted obligation into something Y/N never expected: a season filled with connection, warmth, and perhaps even the beginning of something more between her and Minji. The camp hadn’t been the adventure she had wanted, but maybe it was the one she needed.

=======

On the final day of camp, Y/N found herself back on the bus, seated in her usual spot at the back, watching the scenery blur past the window. She hadn’t anticipated feeling this way—reluctant to leave, unsure of what came next. Camp had been the last thing she’d wanted, but now, with the bus pulling away, she found herself wishing for more time.

She pulled out her earbuds, ready to sink into her music and let the world disappear, when Minji appeared beside her, just as she had on the first day. This time, though, there was no hesitation in Minji’s smile.

“Mind if I sit here?” she asked, holding up her own pair of earbuds, a playful grin tugging at her lips.

Y/N glanced at the empty seat next to her and nodded, her heart thumping in her chest. “Go ahead.”

Minji slid into the seat, and instead of putting in her own earbuds, she leaned closer, her shoulder brushing against Y/N’s as she held out one of her earbuds. “Let’s share,” she said, her voice soft but filled with something deeper.

Y/N hesitated for a second, her mind racing, but then she took the earbud, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. They sat together, shoulders touching, as the music filled the space between them, and the bus rumbled down the road. The first day of camp had been marked by solitude, but now, as the summer came to a close, Y/N wasn’t alone anymore.

As they shared the music, the lyrics washing over them, Y/N’s heart swelled with the weight of everything unspoken between them. The summer had been unexpected, filled with moments she hadn’t anticipated—but sitting beside Minji now, their shared silence more meaningful than words, Y/N realized she wouldn’t trade any of it.

As the soft melodies filled the air, the world outside the window faded into a tapestry of lush green trees and shimmering lakes. The bus rolled away from Camp Bunnies, leaving behind the familiar cabins and laughter that had once felt so distant.

Y/N stole a glance at Minji, who was gazing out the window, the fading sunlight catching the highlights in her hair and illuminating her features with a warm glow. Their shoulders brushed lightly—a small but significant connection that sent a flutter through Y/N’s chest.

“Can you believe it’s over?” Minji mused, her voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the serene moment.

Y/N shook her head slowly, her heart swelling with a mix of nostalgia and warmth. “Not really. I thought I’d be counting down the days, but…” She paused, searching for the right words. “This summer turned out to be… different.”

Minji turned to her, and in that moment, something charged passed between them. The bus wound down the road, trees dancing in the breeze as the golden light began to fade, casting long shadows that intertwined like their stories.

“I didn’t expect to feel this way,” Minji admitted, her eyes holding Y/N’s gaze with an intensity that made Y/N’s heart race. “I thought I’d just be here for the experience, but I found something more.”

Y/N felt a swell of emotion as the realization struck her: she wasn’t leaving camp the same person she had been when she arrived. The summer that had once felt like a punishment had blossomed into something beautiful and unexpected—a connection that warmed her heart amidst the wilderness.

As the bus made its way home, the quiet hum of the engine accompanied their shared music, wrapping them in a cocoon of intimacy. Y/N knew that with Minji by her side, she wasn’t leaving alone. The road ahead was uncertain, but the bond they had forged under the open sky felt like a promise—an adventure waiting to unfold.

Minji glanced at her, as if reading her thoughts. “You know,” she said softly, her voice carrying a quiet certainty, “just because camp’s over doesn’t mean this has to end.”

Y/N turned to her, surprised by the confidence in her tone. “You think…?”

Minji nodded, her eyes warm and steady. “I know it will. We’ll figure it out—together. This is just the beginning.”

With the last rays of sunlight filtering through the trees, Y/N leaned slightly closer to Minji, feeling the warmth radiate between them. The shared earbuds, their shoulders brushing, created a delicate space that felt alive with possibility. The summer that had once felt like a punishment had turned into something completely unexpected. Instead of the isolation she had felt on the way there, Y/N now felt a quiet warmth next to her—something that made her realize she wasn’t leaving camp the same person she had been when she arrived.

And with Minji by her side, Y/N wasn’t leaving alone.

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 23

Masterlist - Part 1, Part 22, Part 24

Warning! This is a SAGAU imposter au so this is pretty gory and not happy all the time. Plus yandere but that's the expected for SAGAU.

Xingqiu and Chongyun both showed muddled emotions at your words of leaving Liyue.

“That may be best for you…” Chongyun says first as he keeps his gaze on the floorboards.

“Yes, I agree. Although I never expected that you would have to leave Liyue so soon, it's clear that you aren't safe here.” 

Xingqiu’s words that were full of understanding still had disappointment sprinkled in.

“We can't do much to help you when it comes to Ningguang, but Mondstadt is a different story. Do you have the talisman on you right now?”

Chongyun takes a few steps closer as you lift the amulet for him to see. He rubs one finger on it, examining the symbol that appears at the action.

“It's still at full charge, good. The road to Mondstadt can either be empty or full of demons depending on the day. But once you get to Wangshu Inn, it becomes much safer.”

“Because of Xiao, right? Despite how the situation looked when I first met the Adepti, I'm on relatively good terms with them now.”

It was a bit risky telling them this, but they both deserved to know at this point.

“When are you planning on leaving? Is your meeting with Ningguang today?” Switching the topic, Xingqiu brings the focus back to the most pressing issue.

Nodding, you answer. “My meeting is with her today, but I'll probably have to leave either at midnight or early tomorrow morning. The sooner, the better.”

“Then I can offer you some help that should make staying in Mondstadt a bit easier.” Xingqiu grins as he takes out paper and some ink. “I happen to know someone-”

“Albedo, right?” Cutting off Xingqiu as you think back to his connection, you continue. “Together you made the book, uh what was the name again? A Legend of a Sword? It got pretty popular in Inazuma. I remember there was a whole festival on light novels that you both attended too.”

Once you stop, you notice Xingqiu squinting his eyes at you before replying. “That's really creepy, you know? If I didn't know you were the Oracle, then I would have believed you to be some stalker.”

“If I was, then I wouldn't be stalking you of all people.” You snapped back as he grins while shaking his head.

“But yes, I'll send Albedo a letter in advance so that he can arrange for you to be settled nicely over there. I won't mention the Oracle situation as the Creator didn't want you to be known widely like that.”

It's been so long since you last heard the title ‘Creator’ be mentioned despite the fact that all of your problems come from their supposed existence.

Only goes to show just how ingrained the Creator is in this world.

“Thanks Xingqiu. Albedo is the chief alchemist and well respected among the community, so I should be in safe hands.”

Xingqiu merely hums in response as Chongyun tugs the amulet closer to him.

“Just trying to apply a better talisman on it.” He mumbles in accordance with your stare as he settles himself closer to you.

He's basically pressed against your side, but you strangely don't feel uncomfortable to have him close.

As the pair focus on their own activities, your mind wanders off to Albedo.

Albedo, the chief alchemist and homunculus created by Gold, the famous Khaenri'an scientist. Khaenri'ah, which also held so much information that could be connected to Celestia…

It was a long shot, but you could try digging for information about Celestia from him. The deal that Celestia made with Teyvat still bothers you to no end. With the age of this deal unknown, you might even have to look into the primordial dragons if it's even older than the Archon war.

A light shining brought you back to the present and your eyes flickered down to where the amulet shined in Chongyun’s hands.

Once it died down to reveal a more intricate symbol than before, Chongyun nodded, satisfied with the final product.

“This one is a lot stronger and should last longer now. I know you can fight well, but the demonic energy in Bishui Plain and Qiongji Estuary has shown to rise around this time of the year.”

Carefully taking the amulet from him, you thumbed the symbol with curious eyes. “I get it, thank you. Does it activate on its own, or do I have to activate it with something?”

“It'll work on its own. Depending on the amount and degree of demonic energy around it, the workings will change.”

Motioning with his hands, Chongyun’s calm voice explains the working to you. At the end of the rather lengthy explanation, you nod and condense the information in your mind.

“And now that Instructor Chongyun is done teaching you, I'm happy to say that I'm done with the letter. Have been for a while, but I saw no need to interrupt the oh so fascinating lecture.”

Raising the letter, Xingqiu lazily waved it as Chongyun bristled but ultimately said nothing.

“I can send this once I get home. Unfortunately, neither me nor Chongyun will be available to accompany you through your journey.”

Xingqiu tsk’d at his own words while Chongyun turned his head away, visibly sulking.

“My family was just hired to check out Wuwang Hill and my attendance for this is mandatory. Xingqiu’s father is forcing him to stay and attend meetings with his brother for the week as well.”

All you could do was smile sadly in response.

Before long they were both forced to leave by Baizhu who insisted on total privacy for the reviewing of your medication and discharge.

Watching them climb down the stairs from the window in your room, you listen absentmindedly to Baizhu.

Changsheng still refused to see you. Something Tevyat was clearly displeased with, as the once sunny weather quickly turned cloudy. The cold-blooded creature must be huffing in annoyance by now.

“And this is the overview of medication and supplements to take, with the doses and dates to take them.”

Casually looking over the paper received from the shady snake bastard, you hummed for a moment before stuffing it into your bag.

“All of it is paid for by your special benefactor. And the drug you requested has already been paid with by your body, as we both know.”

‘Must he phrase it like that?’ You internally questioned as you snatch the medication and shove it into your bag.

“I'm glad for it. Maybe even more so if she didn't pin so many babysitters onto me.”

At your grumble, Baizhu’s smile wavered at the edges. Either he truly hadn't known why there was extra ‘security’ or he was a great liar. You suspect it's a bit of both.

“Then if everything has been covered, I’m happy to say that you're officially discharged as of-” He merely glanced at the sun still high in the sky before finishing. “1300. I sincerely hope that the next time we meet you'll be in a better physical state.”

“And I sincerely wish we never have to meet again.” The words you utter are full of sarcasm, something Baizhu simply chuckles at.

“Now what could I have possibly done to deserve your ire, dear Oracle?”

“It's what you haven't done. A little heads up about all the guards would have been nice.”

“Oh, but I did!” His smile seems a little sharper as he leans toward you, his glasses sliding down to the bridge of his nose. “Didn't I let you know early on that there were quite a lot of guards?”

With an annoyed scoff, you snap back. “You said it was due to the two temples nearby, not cause Ningguang wanted to keep an eye on me.”

Raising his hands with wide eyes, Baizhu tried to placate you. “I'm not part of the Millelith, how on earth could a physician like me know the true reasoning?”

Holding his gaze, you tried to discern what he was truly thinking at this moment. Malice? Amusement? Mocking kindness?

But at that moment, all you could see was genuine surprise in his eyes. It only served to confuse you further.

Was Baizhu truly innocent in this? Your instincts in situations like these were usually correct. Besides, what would Baizhu even gain from deceiving you?

Still, that didn't explain why Baizhu was always so damn shady, but maybe you should chalk it up to an unfortunate side effect of being contracted with a snake.

“Well, then let me reiterate my earlier words. While I still hope we won't have to meet again. I do wish for us to want to meet again.”

Baizhu lowers his arms while fixing his glasses to laugh, the sound is surprisingly tender. “And how do you expect me to tell when that would be? I’m no mind reader.”

Standing up, you stay silent as you slip your bag over your shoulders and move past him. The door opens with a creak as you tilt your head slightly to meet his eyes.

“To put it simply, I’ll want to see you when you discover whatever is hidden in my culture sample.”

The door clicks shut as you leave Bubu’s Pharmacy for good.

----------------------------

After a brief but firm pat to Qiqi’s head, you walk down the stairs casually. The slight rustling of the leaves, the fabric of curtains drawn, and the quieting of chatter are all brought to your attention.

Ningguang’s spies and the Millelith guards are all watching you like rabid dogs, waiting for you to slip up and give them an excuse to arrest you right now. 

Smiling without hesitation, you get to the last step and pretend that the forced conversations around you aren't scripted, and that the eyes locked on you are of a curious bystander and not the ones of detectives.

Bringing your attention back to the list you have clenched in your hand, you read the first errand on the list.

Return books to library.

Easy enough, and it's even easier when people seem to automatically avoid being in your path.

Is this what a day in Xinyan's life feels like? It's honestly not that bad.

At least you thought so until you got to the counter and waited for the receptionist to return.

Five minutes pass. Then ten minutes, which quickly turn into fifteen in a blink of an eye. You can feel your mood worsening.

Deciding to test something, you walk away from the library and turn the corner. Peeking around the corner, you watch as the ‘customer’ that was standing in the corner all those minutes gets to the counter. Almost immediately, a swarm of people return to it.

Sighing heavily, you ignore the weight of suspicious stares and turn the corner back into the library. Getting back into line feels humiliating, but it's just a quick errand, you tell yourself.

No one moves out of the way, but the quick glances they send you make them pale with each minute.

Not a soul dares to stand behind you.

It's finally your turn, and you place your books on the table with the last bit of patience you had. She doesn't meet your eyes and mumbles something.

“I'm sorry, what did you say?” Leaning closer, you try to catch her words, only for her to yell.

“It's lunchtime now so I can't accept any more returns or purchases. H-Have a good-d da-ay!”

Flabbergasted at the sheer audacity, you watch her flip a sign on the table and flee the area.

“Fuck this shit.” Colorful curses leave you as you drop all the books haphazardly on the table and storm away.

Crossing it off the list, you follow the main path to the next errand.

Collect reward from Guild

That commission should have given you one hell of a paycheck the last time you checked. Primogems may be worthless now, but you could use the Mora the commission provides.

Plus, you needed to let them know to change it to the Mondstadt region.

Lost in thought of all the technicalities and paperwork you would have to fill out, you weren't focusing on the fleeting whispers around you.

“Is that them?”

“Who else could it be?”

“What a monster…”

“-as long as we get paid.”

“Who cares about-”

“It's me or them.”

“As long as it's them and not me.”

Your experience at the guild was a much kinder one. Katheryne was the epitome of professionalism, just as you remembered her to be. Not that you expected much else from a robot.

After handing all the written work to her, you finally noticed the absence of a certain person.

“Where’s that grouchy Lan? She's usually here, isn't she?” Checking the vicinity, you try to spot the brown recognizable bob.

“The Branch Master Lan is currently undertaking a commission at this time.”

“About the unseen razor, right?”

“That can not be disclosed to unauthorized-”

“It's fine. I’ll see you later, Katheryne.” Turning around, you leave without another thought. Lan wasn't anywhere near the ‘threatening’ list you've created since you last saw her.

Pick up plushie

Crossing out the previous task, you look at the present one with mixed emotions. On one hand, you were happy to get a chance to see something related to Earth, to your world. But at the same time, you couldn't help but wonder if it would serve more as a distraction than anything else. The memories it brought up never failed to leave your heart troubled…

Remembering the money you spent commissioning it ultimately tipped the scales, and so you dragged your feet to the little old lady’s toy shop.

It was empty just as the first time you were there as she hummed. If she was a vision holder you'd guess Hydro judging by the tranquility she radiated.

Her eyes meet yours and a happy smile slips onto your face without much thought.

“Here to pick up the toy, dearie?”

“Yup.” Popping the ‘p’, you watched as she gathered a delicately wrapped box from under the other boxes and presented it to you.

“Enjoy the nostalgic memories a toy can bring.”

You politely thank her before taking the present and walking away. The weight of the box is heavy with dread, and you can only find solace in the fact she didn't refer to it as ‘happy’ memories.

Once sufficiently out of sight, you take to grasping the lid. But you couldn't bring yourself to remove it.

Too many memories. All of them are rushing in and filled with conflicting feelings that would surely crush you. The fear and selfishness of the broken promises and unfulfilled desires would throw you off your game.

With a little too much enthusiasm, you stuff the box of the cat plushie into your bag.

Most likely to stay forgotten and distant from the present you're facing.

Scratching it off harder than the rest, you get to the last errand.

Refill supplies

A smart and mature move considering how you used the whole Medkit during the chase. The soggy bandages and washed away ointment really hurt your heart and wallet.

Revisiting the same shops you went to the first time proved to be ineffective. Either they were completely sold out or no longer supplying them.

Forced to visit more stores, you had to walk around the city a lot more than you cared to. Each store had one of the two situations, and the skittish actions of everyone around you were just the cherry on top.

At one point you even tried to buy the individual items separately, and even that failed.

It's not like you could just wait till next week for the first shipment. You weren't even sure you would live till then.

Eventually, you found yourself sulking on the lower docks, turning the situation around in your head.

If only you lived in Liyue for a little longer, maybe you could have found some of the hidden shops. Befriend a store owner and get a hidden one.

Just who the hell would even go out of their way to get every medical first aid part when it's such a crucial item for so many people in this era?

A name finally comes to mind and your expression sours at the thought. Not that you’d let it show, Celestia knows how many guards are watching you at this moment-

A sudden, rapid series of taps on your shoulder has you spinning around in surprise.

A young boy stands before you. The clothes he wears has visible wear and tear as the fabric frays from the edges. Yet you can't help but think you might have seen him before.

Placing a finger on his lips, he uses his other hand to grab hold of your elbow and tug you along.

Surprised but not suspicious of the kid, you let him lead you deeper into the docks. The dark red of his eyes seem to glow within the shadows as his dirty blond hair acts as your beacon of light.

The smell of fresh fish turns rotten, and the dirt caked under his fingernails stains your clothes. The complete and straight planks become jagged and creaky as you follow him farther.

But you stayed silent.

You recognized a path to the seedy part of the city when you see it.

Instead, you examine the younger boy with a critical eye and finally connect the dots. He must be one of the kids you saved with Yiran.

A smirk creeps up your face. It seems you managed to use your time wisely in making connections after all.

Following along the twists and turns, you don't worry too much about the Millelith. Most of the guards probably couldn't even get this far. If you had to guess, it would only be the detectives who could keep up.

It's not like the hidden underworld of cities as popular as Liyue Harbor are any big secret to them.

Stalls and various shops fill the area as flickering lanterns and other extra lighting give you a wider view.

Multiple people call out to the boy as he silently waves to them. The gaze of the homeless and shady people around aren't warm, but aren't hostile either.

Not that you were exactly expecting a warm welcome, but at least you didn't have to worry about sudden personality changes.

Money could buy you information, but it wouldn't buy you trust in these parts.

He finally stops at a little nook in the corner of the area. The door is worn down with scratches and marks yet the light you can see under it is warm.

Silent as before, he points at you, then to the rows of shops in a sweeping motion before stopping at the door.

Pinching your brows in slight confusion, you chew on the gestures to understand it. High-pitched laughter that suspiciously sounds like children eases into your ears as the boy squirms in place.

“Did you want me to knock on the door when I'm done shopping? That you'll lead me back to the surface?”

It was the only thing that you can think of. And despite your hesitation, the boy nods, clearly relieved that you understood the message.

He must truly be mute, no doubt from whatever horrors he must have faced that lead to the scars poorly hidden by mud on his arms.

You were thankful either way. Just leading you here was great but getting an exit too was even better. Now you could avoid getting mugged and/or murdered on your way back.

“Thanks man, I'll be quick.” With that, you walk away, already following the invisible path to the shops that caught your eye.

As much as you would have liked to explore the various items and weapons they had, you didn't want to keep the kid waiting.

After having to buy a rather expensive medical kit, a minor downside to finding the first medical anything since you left Bubu’s pharmacy, you pick up a minor stitching case.

You could have really used one during your latest and probably not last chase. Stuffing it into your bag, as people eye the magical item with desire, you quickly find the home.

Getting to the door, you step closer than before and take note of the older voice. A woman that's chuckling, and a lingering sense of guilt invades your mind.

Quickly rapping your knuckles on the wood, you step away as the home goes dead quiet.

Multiple little eyes peer at you from windows below you as you lazily grin and wave. They all scatter as giggling resumes and the sound of playing returns.

But not the woman’s voice. You didn't expect it to. It's hard to face the only person you've poured your raw wounds from a child's death to.

The kid finally steps out with multiple clicks of locks echoing around the small space. Smiling, you take no offense to the action. You weren't here for trust, and they weren't helping you out of it either.

His crimson eyes glisten with interest at your bag. He wants his pay, and you're more than happy to oblige.

Stuffing your hand into the bag, you feel the familiar clink of Mora gathering in your hand. Pulling it out, you place an appropriate amount into the pouch he already has prepared.

When you drop it all, he takes it closer to him and picks up a piece. The first thing he does is try to bite it, and the familiar memory of you testing coins the same way makes you smile sadly.

Counting the Mora, he frowns, clearly displeased with the amount. He holds his hand out, and you can feel the other children’s stares digging into you.

“I'm going to give you two things that aren't Mora, okay? But you have to keep it a secret.”

He narrows his eyes, no doubt suspecting you of being a shady person. That's probably why he brought you here first and demanded payment before returning you.

Like this, he has back up and cornered you further into payment of his choosing.

“Do you have a cooking pot?”

He frowns in confusion before nodding slowly. Lifting one finger in a pause motion, before heading back inside his home.

He returns while holding a clean cooking pot. It doesn’t take long before he places it over the open fire you already started.

Small eyes follow your every step as you dig out ingredients from your bag. Mentally going over the ingredients you had originally prepared for your celebration feast if you survived tonight, you drop them into the pot.

4 ham, 3 crabs, 3 shrimp meat, and 3 matsutake potatoes are dropped in.

Turning around, you count to five as the boy gives you a confused stare. But you only wink at him before turning around to look at the pot, as his eyes widen at the sight.

Adeptus’ Temptation sits innocently in the pot as the rich aroma wafts around the area, drawing curious hungry eyes.

Leaning down, you whisper to the boy.

“Get your friends and bring the pot back into your house quickly. This food is blessed and safe as you watched the whole process. I suggest you let the sickly and injured children eat first.”

He looks between you and the pot with conflicting emotions. On one hand, he can't trust you too much, but even the smell of the food was clearly tempting him.

It's the shuffling of feet getting closer that makes him bang on the door, signalling for the other children to come out and help him bring it inside.

By the time the shabby adults come into view, it's just you and the boy ‘talking’ as they grumble and turn around.

The kid still looks displeased. You don't blame him completely, since how can he trust that the food you cook isn't spiked with anything nefarious.

You're not even sure if it can heal people that aren't acolytes. It doesn't work on you after all.

At least they'll all enjoy a hot meal, even if it doesn't work.

Sighing, you take out your last resort from your bag, sadly selecting it and pulling it out. The secret weapon you've been saving since your time in Inazuma.

The colorful assortment of candy wrappers makes the kid’s eyes sparkle with the childlike glee that was absent since you met him. Probably long before you met him.

“It's not just Liyue candy, some are even from Inazuma.” The thought of giving up your hard-earned candy hurt you, but you let it go. 

The candy you squirreled away during the Inazuma festival, and the discount ones you bought at cheap prices at Liyue’s markets, were both never going to be eaten anyway.

His hands reach out to snatch the candy greedily from you but you raise it out of reach at the last second. He stomps his foot in childish indignation as you chuckle.

“Sorry, but I need you to bring me back to the outside before you scam me out of any more goodies.”

Finally giving up, he grabs your elbow again and leads you back through the streets. You enjoy the sights as he leads you zigzagging through the stalls.

You can't help but wonder if any detectives are still watching your boring little interactions. Admittedly, you played into the kid's desires more then you had to.

But you couldn't stop yourself from doing so when all you could see in him was yourself when you were that height.

The sun comes into light as the dim lanterns fade away. Like this, you can see his features once more as the stomping of soldiers return.

His eyes scan the area at the sound, but he keeps his hands open for the sweet treats. Smiling, you drop the candy into his open palms before he rushes off with a beaming boyish grin.

Stretching as you walk up the planks to the surface, you finally cross off the last item and drop it into the nearby trash can.

You try to ignore how it disappears when you turn the corner.

------------------------------------

Time ticks down slowly, and you aren't looking forward to seeing Madam Ping just yet. Besides, you made a long-overdue promise to someone else beforehand.

Starting up at the somewhat hidden Funeral Parlor, you push the door open with a casual; “Hey, I'm here to meet up with the Director of this fine and totally not macabre establishment.”

The receptionist blinks at your sudden words before a cheery voice responds from behind her.

“You sure took your time, Y/N. I almost wondered if you up and died before I got a chance to have you purchase one of our very convenient and practical deals!”

Yet again, Hu Tao was right on the money about you being close to death. Idly, you wonder if you look half as dead as you feel.

The receptionist is more than happy to slip away as her boss bounds up to you with that elemental ghost hovering around her.

Flower pupils stare into your eyes, giving you a vague sense of unease as Hu Tao examines you from various angles. 

“Yup, yup! Just as I suspected. You are in desperate need of escape, and it seems the only way you'll be getting it is in death. My honest suggestion is that you buy a coffin from us and lead a hedonist lifestyle to enjoy the few years you have left.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” You dryly respond as she nods approvingly. 

“A business needs to be honest for it to succeed in the long-term. Trust of the customers is one of the biggest key factors.”

Not willing to argue on a topic you were admittedly clueless on, you follow her deeper into the Parlor.

“Then you got any good deals for a traveling adventurer like me who could be dead halfway across the world?”

She sighs, exaggerating it to the utmost while circling you. “I thought deeply on the topic and while the Wangshsng Funeral Parlor has grown enough to reach all of Liyue and a good amount of Mondstadt and Sumeru, we still haven't grown enough to pair up with each region.”

Passing by multiple doors, your eyes scan for a clue on where she was leading you.

“But considering you're the most eager customer I've had concerning their own death, I decided to present you with a special deal.”

“Wouldn't suicidal people also be enthusiastic in this topic?”

“They're usually more focused on the moment and their own afterlife, instead of the corpse they leave behind. Besides-!”

Whipping around to look at you with a knowing grin, she lays a hand decorated in rings on the handle.

“You aren't that far from being called a suicidal person yourself, Y/N!”

Before you can question her on those words, she swings the door open to show multiple rows of various coffins.

“The special offer I'm giving you is to purchase a coffin and I will personally escort your wandering soul to the border for proper peace.”

Tearing your eyes from the admittedly impressive collection of varying caskets, you have the sense to ask her a question. “So, what's the point in me buying a coffin if my body ends up in the waters of Fontaine? And how could I even trust that you have the ability to escort souls?”

From what you remember, Hu Tao should have no clue about your oracle status, so logically you should act oblivious to her connection with the border. Would you even be able to cross the border? It’s not like you were born on Teyvat like her other customers.

Unless Zhongli told her, but that would require more of an explanation on his behalf that he wouldn't want to do. 

“Very good question, dear customer!” She spins around to face you once more, her long twin tails swinging during the motion.

“Even if your body is irretrievable for whatever reason, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will deem your casket full after I guide your soul.”

The atmosphere visibly shifts after she speaks. The room darkens as the lanterns flicker, her back lowers in a familiar position as a cold phantom touch caresses your hand.

“You of all people should know why and how I'm able to guide souls. After all, I wouldn't expect anything less from an Oracle of the Creator.”

A crooked grin makes its way to your face as goosebumps raise on your skin. Hu Tao’s ‘threatening’ words of knowing your identity were like the sweetest song to your ears.

Finally, all your hard work in creating connections and stabilizing your identity has paid off. Acolytes you've barely begun conversing with already see you as an Oracle.

“Should I applaud you or something, Director? Or should I just accept the deal and make us both happy?”

Hu Tao laughs at your words as you take confident strides to stand by her side.

“I would appreciate the second option much more!” Signature flower pupils drink your smiling visage in with delight before her hand grasps yours in a tight hold.

“Now, if you will, I'll introduce all these amazing coffin and casket types for you to ask about and choose between.”

There's no time to protest, not that you would as she pulls you along excitedly as butterflies made of Pyro brush against your cheek.

------------------------------

Somehow you and Hu Tao had managed to look at every single coffin type in existence. A style, color and even additional design to it has already been decided.

You're just left with choosing the best wood for it.

Hu Tao wanted to stay with you throughout the whole process, but an important matter came up again, making her complain loudly as she left.

But before she did, she insisted on sending one of her employees to help you in choosing, as ‘the wood is a vital part of the process!’. 

So now you're left waiting in the absolutely quiet room, with only the sound of your own breathing accompanying you.

Looking down at the two coffins made of different wood, you waited for this employee. A small smirk played on your lips as you heard the door audibly click shut.

The thumping of shoes coming closer was silent, but the slight hitch of breath gave away how close your new consultant was.

“White cedar wood and Teck wood are both very fine choices. Though I would consider the Catalpa wood two rows down to be the best choices considering your position.”

Hot air fans your skin as the knowledgeable words spoken in that low timber light your nerves aflame.

Turning around, you look into amber eyes that remain steadfast on your face. His outfit is pristine and there's not a single evidence of the battle he was left to fight on him.

“If that answers your last question for the coffin customization, then would you mind stepping outside with me?”

Waving your hand, you dismiss his words without hesitation. “We can do so after I check out the Catalpa wood you recommended.”

Your head angles to the side to look at him with a teasing grin. “I know it's your retirement, but you of all people should know that rushing a job is never good.”

A long-suffering sigh leaves Zhongli as you walk away to the Catalpa coffin, before he follows you. 

More than happy to kill time like this, you feel the wood under your fingertips in a smooth stripe.

“Catalpa wood was and is still often used as an outer coffin for the jade inner coffin that Liyue officials were buried in. Not only can it be carved fluidly, but it is also very resistant to decay, unlike other ornamental wood. Its stability is quite underrated, with only the drying to be a tad problematic. And even that will be for us to deal with.”

Vaguely you wonder if this information was inserted into the game based off China’s own history or if Teyvat really did age throughout many years to build its own history.

“That’s why I recommended this type of wood to you. While you’re not officially a member of the Qixing or other affairs, your position of oracle is enough to warrant such a valued coffin.”

“Are you trying to convince me to buy it for your job, or are you trying to flatter me for your proposal?”

“You may see it as both, neither, or one of the two. I'm simply here as the consultant. I am to assist you with all of your decision-making inside this building.”

A huff of laughter leaves you before you tap on the casket. “Then I'll go along with what you want and take this wood.”

Zhongli nods, not bothering to write it down as his memory must be far greater than you care to imagine. 

His gloved hand is displayed to you in a silent question, but before you can move, he removes the glove.

Quizzically, you raise an eyebrow before placing your hand on his now bare one. Peering at his face from your place you note the slightest blush on his otherwise composed expression.

Smiling to yourself, you allow his fingers to intertwine with your own as he guides you out of the side door. Following him blindly up the staircase, past a set of rooms, another staircase till you finally arrive at the roof.

Zhongli squeezes your hand one last time, clearly relishing in the touch of your calloused fingertips before letting you go.

“I've waited patiently for you, Y/N. What is your answer to my marriage proposal?”

His eyes stare at yours with unshakable firmness. In a sense, it's endearing, and you make it clear by smiling widely.

“It's a no from me.” That resolute expression cracks and his mouth drops open before it's slammed shut at your bright laughter.

But even his poorly concealed embarrassed expression can't smother the blood rushing to his cheeks as his ears hang onto every addictive note that leaves your lips.

This has taken a long time. Like super long. I haven't dropped this series, just have lots of school work to complete and exams to study for. Like I literally have one tomorrow. My editor did me a solid and highlighted the parts that I had to fill in after I gave the mostly completed document for editing. When I have to write the next chapter, it'll take a bit as I gotta reread for recalibration. Taglist is open as always!

@vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @liansh3ng, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @shellofthewell, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zenith, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername

@zhonglisfruityass, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling, @emilymikado, @pix-stuff, @esthelily, @luxie963, @emmbny, @starsofabundance, @kbar1013, @xxblackroses623xx, @chxrlxtteee, @aludicpoet, @yandematic, @atrcclovsxoxo, @0lshadyl0, @esthelily, @t-rex-red, @ck123, @steadybreadbluebird, @118gremlin, @stratonia, @time-shardz, @farelady-fate, @valeriele3, @francisnyx, @byakuren100, @waveto-earth, @flyingpansaurus, @silverstarred, @iamapotatoe, @ghosthii, @beloveddroplet, @uchihaeirin, @ibelieveinsleep, @idk098, @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback, @toramune, @haaaaaades, @horologiumwise, @melovaaaa, @alittletiredcry, @aphxdea, @atsukawolfcat, @desirabletravel, @pinkpainc, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @yuyuzi-ling, @hyperfixationwhore

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[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.

Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!

Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.

Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.

You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).

Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.

I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!

BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.

I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.

I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.

Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.

I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.

He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.

I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)

What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!

He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.

Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.

Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳

If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.

With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.

Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.

That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.

That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.

He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!

I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.

Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.

And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.

Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.

[lnfours]

Helloooo prompt (maybe reverse) "i pictured you with other girls in love... then threw up on the street." With Lando x reader (she is a legal expert for McLaren) having a fight because he underestimate her job. So during a social event, after seeing her smiling and talking with Charles about her work activities, he gets jealous and afraid of losing her.

god anon, thanks for killing me! tom’s-gf has been found dead!!

this also got so long omg i’m sorry

10k celebration

lando felt sick. physically ill, almost like he was going to throw up.

“you okay, mate?” oscar asked his teammate and friend, worry etching his face. lando was unaware of his paleness, his eyes visibly sad as he looked over towards where you were standing with charles.

he had his arm wrapped around your waist, head leaning down towards your face so he could hear what you were talking to him about. you had a bright smile on your face and he could tell you said something funny with the way his friend’s eyes squeezed shut, both of your giggles almost loud enough to be heard over the noise.

“lando?”

his attention flipped back to the aussie next to him, shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows as he desperately tried to fight off the nauseating thoughts of you and his friend that snuck into his head. anxiety was a fucking bitch.

“yeah, i’m good. why?”

“you look pale,” oscar stated, “and you keep looking at y/n and charles with this weird look in your eyes, almost like you’re sad.”

lando shook his head, swallowing the sip of his drink, “nah, i’m good, mate,”

oscar quirked an eyebrow, “did something happen between the two of you?”

lando immediately was transported back to the hotel mentally, where a little over an hour ago the two of you had it out. he was frustrated, and he took it out on you, which he shouldn’t have done. and one thing led to another…

“seriously, lando, i don’t fucking tell you how to drive the car! why’re you trying to tell me how to do my job?!”

“i’m just saying that maybe you should try getting behind the wheel of a literal rocket before you complain about your job to me.”

he didn’t mean to sound like he was underestimating you or your job, he knew you worked hard for the company. he knew how many late nights you had pulled at the office to get extra work done and to stay ahead of things. he wasn’t entirely sure why he said what he said, but now he was really wishing time travel was real so he could go back and undo it.

lando’s silence was an answer, “mate, just go talk to her. i’m sure she’s over it by now, whatever it is. you know her, she doesn’t stay angry for long.”

oscar was right. you got over things quickly, only really needing twenty minutes before you moved onto the next thing. but right now, the anxiety was eating at him as he watched charles lean in closer to you for a photo. he just had this overwhelming feeling that you hated him and that this was it. it was the end of the road for the two of you.

oscar grabbed the glass from his teammate before shoving him forward, “my god, go!”

lando compiled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he concentrated on not letting his legs give out as he walked towards you two. your eyes landed on the worried looking brit, your eyebrows furrowing. your confused look caused charles to turn around.

“hey, mate,” charles said, “you’ve gotta hear about this story y/n just told me-“

“actually,” lando cleared his throat, “i was wondering if i could borrow her. i’ve got to talk to her,”

he sucked in a nervous breath as you responded, “yeah,” you grabbed your purse off of the bar behind you, looking over at the man next to you, “i’ll be right back.”

you led lando through the groups of people, the fresh air filling lando’s lungs as he desperately tried to feel better. you stood in front of him, searching his eyes.

“you look pale,” you frowned, placing the back of your hand on his forehead, “you feeling okay?”

his heart was going a mile a minute, his hand grabbing yours. your eyes met his in silent question, “i’m sorry.”

your expression softened, “lando-“

“no,” he said softly, “i’m sorry. i know how hard you work, and i had no right to yell at you or tell you that your job isn’t hard. i could never do the things that you do. you’re absolutely incredible and i’m sorry,”

you let him ramble on, waiting for the right time to speak, “you never complain and it was dick move for me to yell, just please…”

he felt like he couldn’t breathe. you frowned, knowing what was going through his mind all too well. a small tear dropped from his eyelashes and your heart shattered in your chest, “lando,”

he licked his lips, teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. his shoulders shook and you reached out to him as he let out a quiet sob. you wiped the tears away from his cheeks before wrapping your arms around his neck. he breathed in the smell of your shampoo, immediately clinging to you as he buried his head into your hair.

you rubbed his back, “it’s okay. i promise, it’s okay,”

he sniffled softly, “you’re just the best thing to ever happen to me, and i don’t want to lose you over a stupid argument. i’m sorry. so so sorry,”

you pulled away, meeting his glossy eyes and giving him a soft smile as you wiped away the fallen tears, “it’s gonna take a lot more than a silly argument to push me away.”

he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled, “there’s that smile.”

he rolled his eyes playfully, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, mumbling a soft, “shut up,”

you reached up and planted a kiss on his lips. his mumbling against yours when he pulled away to breathe, “i love you.”

“i love you more, handsome.”

[onyourhyuck]

Sin & Obsession. | L.MK

— Prologue: “I never knew you’d have such a slutty side to you, Y/n. What else are you hiding underneath that good girl façade?”

— Summary: You’re a faithful good girl. You attend church and you stay out of trouble. Mark is a guy that attends your church and what you don’t know is that he’s been obsessed with you for a while…

— Genre: Dark smut / Romance. Slight horror aspect (?) Mark Lee is a stalker. Mention of Christianity and faithfulness. Christian!Mark. Church mention. Mark is very much obsessed with Y/n. He stalks her. He has deep affection for Y/n but like super borderline I guess? Watching Y/n masturbate while he is hiding in her closet. Mark jerks off. Mark panty thief. Pantie sniffing.

— Notes: Part 2 anyone?

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You’re a faithful Christian. You’ve always been. You were born and raised in your cradle as a good faithful Christian who prides herself in your religion daily. You bring religion everywhere you go with you. One thing you like is that you do mid-week service and as well as attending every Sunday to the church.

You get along with everyone, you speak to everyone, and you try to get involved in your community activities.

However one thing you don’t know at all. You’re completely unaware of what people actually want from you. Mark Lee is a guy that goes to your church and he’s had his eyes on you for quite some time. He attended the church a little bit longer than you and then you moved into the area and started going to this church that he is going to.

He’s always lived in Canada. So when he heard you move from such a far away person to Canada to start a fresh chapter he couldn’t help but fall for you and your own words. It was love a first sight for Mark. You were beautiful, charismatic, there was something about you when you speak about God like he was your best friend. He genuinely thinks it’s beautiful, and he admired your religious side too. He was a faithful committed Christian too, himself. However you were slightly different.

You are a good girl everyone can see that when they look at you. You dress like one, you dress pretty good and wear what makes you feel great. At this point Mark thinks the clothes aren’t wearing you, you’re wearing the clothes. You make them look very good. He won’t lie.

When you come to church in a dress Mark would confess that he truthfully did take a look down at your breasts once or twice. He can’t help it. You wore to church in a white dress and what do you expect him to do? Not to stare down there? Mark thinks it would be very rude of him if he didn’t look down at your beautiful perky and busty tits. He didn’t speak to you much but only admired you from the sidelines. In fact you probably only spoke to him once and that’s when you started attending the church getting to know everyone.

Mark prefers to be mysterious and watch you from afar where you don’t realise he is actually watching you.

That day when you left with that white dress on, something within him has snapped. It’s been a good long few months since you moved into the area now. Probably five months or more. Mark couldn’t help but follow you that day when you left. It was very out of character for him. Mark knew he shouldn’t just follow you to your house and just watch you get home. He said to himself ‘I’m just following Y/n so she can get home safe, yeah.’ But that would also be half truth and half a lie. He just wanted to stare and admire you for a little moment. He wanted to know what area you actually live in: which turns out you don’t live too far from the church. You are down the road it seems.

And that’s what started the faithful Christian’s obsession with you. Mark’s obsession began the moment you wore that pretty white dress to church, and every Sunday whenever the church service ends he follows you home. Every Sunday. Every time he would follow you back home. You never seem to notice either and Mark starts to believe you’re not that great at self awareness. He took pleasure in following you and watching you when you aren’t aware of it. It’s like something within his heart was searching for that thrill, the adrenaline rush of stalking you and admiring you.

This went on for weeks and weeks. Sometimes even months. Mark never knew he would be so infatuated by seeing you walk home from church. Sometimes Mark even wonders when he goes home later in the week what you’re doing. At this point Mark has memorised your Sunday schedule off by heart. He never knew this could bring him such happiness to be close to you. Even though he can’t bring himself to speak to you because you’re shining alone in your own light.

He was afraid of messing up. He didn’t know how to approach you. In fact Mark never knows how to approach girls but you’re different from the other girls he knows. You’re a fair, beautiful, modest and humble. You’re mature and as well as religious. Mark knows that people who are devoted to their religion cannot be approach the normal way and so, Mark is fine with being in the sideline shadows watching you. He saw you come to your step and open the door unlocking it. Somehow Mark saw you forgot to lock the door it looks like you’re search for something. He couldn’t help but smile a little.

The urge to go in was there, so he follows it.

It wouldn’t hurt right? To go inside your house unannounced without you knowing it. Only for a minute, Mark said. He can allow a minute inside your house because he was getting greedy. He wonders what the inside of your house actually was like. When he enters it he wanders around the living room.

Mark can hear you in the kitchen actually, you seem to be shuffling the black trash bag. It seems like it was pretty big and you struggled. He would offer to help you but it looks like you can handle it and plus — he wouldn’t want to get himself caught.

It was pretty dark already. Mark couldn’t help but think you didn’t even notice anything strange of someone coming inside her house. Like you must really have some slow self awareness. He wonders if you’re just slow or maybe you trust the world too much.

‘There are some pretty weird guys out there Y/n…’ Mark thought deeply as he shakes his head. He would scold you and tell you to not leave the door open like this even if it was for a second and you’d be back to close it.

Furthermore the obsessive curiosity about wanting to get to know you more has irked some wrongful convictions. Heading up the stairs when you were in the downstairs bathroom, Mark took his time snooping around your bedroom now. Your bedroom smelled exactly how he imagined it to smell. Smell of you. It kills him knowing you sleep here where you are all alone without him because he has the deep feelings to hold you but he cannot do that. He doesn’t even speak to you. If anything Mark is pretty much all in knowing you would not feel the same way. Mark took this moment to heart observing your beautiful decorated room.

Fair lights were hung out against the windows and your bed frame. Your double bed looks so soft like a floating cloud in middle of nowhere in this space. You have a giant wardrobe and that instantly excites Mark. He saw that pretty white dress, and your shirts and tank tops. Mark took his time exploring your wonderful clothes. Some of them look so small on your nice curvy figure. You’re shaped like a hourglass and he freaking loves it.

Mark takes his time not to think of you so much like this. He doesn’t want to be known for only looking and staring at you because of your beautiful body and appearance no, he really likes you on the inside too. If anything Mark’s feeling were a form of an attachment because of your character and not your traits.

But when he came across your cupboard where you keep all your lingerie Mark feels something growing inside him. Something so dark and uncontrollable.

He didn’t know what to do when the sight of your beautiful perky bras were in front of him. They smell of wonderful vanilla and laundry washing. It was so soft and the smell was overwhelming like the starting of spring season upon the winter. It dissolved into his nostrils the more he brings the bra forward and he touched it.

Mark wanted to die of embarrassment honestly. He saw what he was doing. He was becoming a perv. He was perving on you in your own house and you don’t even know he was inside your bloody house but a part of him was even more thrilled somehow. Because you don’t know any of this was happening. Mark grew more and more undeniably into you. He grow stronger, his feelings for you grew even more and Mark cannot hold back when the pairs of panties he opens up to look at them. It was the final straw. Your panties. He takes the one that took his eyes most. A pair of innocent white panties. The soft fabric melts in his hands and he brings it back up to his face. The guy who wasn’t meant to be here in this place anyways, was now sniffing your panties like it was all he was created for. Mark groans against the fabric. He could just imagine them on you and it makes him grow by the thought down below.

Your name was running through his mind. He was just so obsessed with you at this point if you’re not his Mark doesn’t know what he will do. The way his nostrils flare when your scent mixing in with the laundry detergent makes him feral. Mark was a feral beast under the disguise of such a loyal respectful young man he shows himself to there told. Deep down he was a lustful sinner, just for you. Mark never thought that he was so unlucky to be a human. You’re wearing these panties everyday. He wished he could be the one you wear him around like this, Mark just wants to be so close to you that he’s under your skin. It was such a weird thought. But he’s always been into these weirdly true metaphors. He enjoys poetry, because you are poetry itself to him and his eyes. Mark should thank God for creating you.

Maybe you’re the one for him, Mark thought. Maybe you’re the one he was meant to be with and Mark pleads it is you. Because if another guy was with you that was not him, Mark doesn’t think he can accept that reality as real.

When the footsteps approach the door Mark was so caught up in his horny-thoughts because he was sniffing and caressing your panties while at the same time he has gotten pretty hard on for it. He almost forgot where he was. Your house. The man flinched to the nearest closet and stays hidden between the many jackets and clothes. Luckily it was dark but he could see a peak of light slap against Mark’s eyes. He was glad he could see you walk in. The minute you came into his view as he was hidden in your closet unaware of your complete knowledge; he smiles seeing your beautiful long hair and your legs and thighs. You wore such pretty tight shorts on at home. He never once thought to his living days he would see you wear this much less clothes on. He was not complaining at all. It’s already bad because Mark has your panties in his hands still. He happened to take them with him and he’s pretty rock hard in his jeans.

What happened next blows Mark’s mind. The guy only looks away for a second. Only a second and you’re on your bed spread nicely with your legs wide open. He never thought he would get to see this either but this truthfully shocks him. Mark is seeing you strip yourself off your clothes — he saw your bare back first which was enough to have him sweating in the closet as he was peaking at you. Your shorts slipped off the ground and you turned on your laptop. He could hear a few good moans coming from the video you’re watching.

Mark couldn’t believe it. He’s watching you pleasure yourself on your bed wide legs open with you pretty pussy out. He saw the way your hands were skilfully pressing on your clit teasing it. You look hella frustrated he won’t lie but Mark couldn’t agree more he wished he could be right there to eat you out. To lick you clean and clean you out off your frustrations. Mark wished it was him between your legs and not your poor hand now because you’re flicking your fingers forward and pushing your pelvis up for more freedom and pressure. The moans on the videos got louder but Mark was only paying attention to you.

You were with all his attention on.

“I never knew you’d have such a slutty side to you, Y/n. What else are you hiding underneath that good girl façade?”

He whispers to himself barely audible for anyone else. It was just words for himself and you were too busy to even hear him because your moans were overlapping with the video you’re watching with your eyes. You struggle and squirm now as your fingers became a faster pace for your clit to take even all the abuse you’re inflicting on it. Mark watches you intensely. He could tell you’re enjoying this so much, even though it must be very lonely for you, Mark enjoys watching you masturbate right in front of him and so he couldn’t handle it. The sounds of your moans were tempting him to do sin. Mark without any second thoughts he unbuckles the jeans and slips it off to the ankles letting his boxers fall down too. Mark tried his best to get a good view with his eyes on the peak on the closer. The darkness makes it hard to see the light. However he managed to get a good view again of your beautiful pink pussy that looks so wet and he likes to assume it’s dripping just for him.

He imagines what he could do. The stuff he’d do to you when he was there. If he was there pleasuring you. He would make sure you’d never forget the moment if he ever had the opportunity to pleasure you, Mark would make sure it’s one you cannot move from.

He was greedy and he was getting greedier by the sight of you in front of him. Mark slowly strokes his long hard length now to the sounds you’re making. The feeling of your walls fluttering open when your fingers curl inside you. You have on your mind a lot of things and these things aren’t something you can share with other people. You want to be fucked. It’s simple but it’s a lot harder because you cannot find the pleasure you’re seeking. You want to tell yourself to surpass this side out of you. However it gets stronger the more you ignore it. You arch yourself when you push out your hips now, they practical hump the air around it with force of your hips shoving out and your fingers continue to abuse your swollen clit.

Mark is clutching on his tip rubbing down the slit like it is a gown of sorts. He was watching you become a spilling mess. The gentle spillage of your water but you’re not exactly cumming yet. Mark can tell you are edging yourself because you don’t want this to end as soon as possible. You must be really frustrated. Mark wonders what goes inside that head of yours. He always thought you were someone who didn’t have these urges even though it was human nature to he strongly believed you had none of those. Mark wasn’t sure why. Maybe it’s because he only sees you at Church. He doesn’t necessarily know you well enough to speak to you. But he does like you a lot.

This crush he has on you is something more than a crush but at the same time it’s still a pretty new thing he’s experiencing. Mark never once went in a house that he wasn’t invited to and watched a girl get herself off. Never.

But he was glad it’s you. Mark can’t help but push down his hand even more in the length. Soon enough the two of you were pleasuring each other with the sounds. However, you were watching the screen of your laptop instead. Mark was wishfully watching you wanting to be inside you so bad. The sight of your pussy looking so tempting. As if it is taunting him to just fuck you right there and come out of the closet. But he knew he can’t do that.

He can’t explain himself to you if he was in your closet like this. You would definitely never want to see him again.

The panties he kept with him, Mark licks and smells them. He works his way with his tongue between the slant of your panties. They smell so good. They smell of you.

He loves them so much Mark doesn’t think he can give them back to you anymore.

Your eyes roll back from the pleasure when it became clear that you’re no longer able to hold back. He took the sign to faster his hands on his giant rock hard cock. Mark moves the hands against the slit and pushed down the thumb. He caressed himself quickly while he’s watching you so intensely now. Mark held in his hitch voice just so he could not get caught by the pleasuring noises he was having and making. Instead he just focused on your itching voice piercing the room by echos of your moans.

You sound heavenly when you’re panting after you finally orgasm. Mark could not put this moment above anything because this was one of the most pulsing and best orgasms he had. He lets out a wispy groan, “Y/n….” Mark came right on with you on his hand. There was a lot of seed in his palm. Mark never comes this big of a batch. He was surprised but this was thanks to you.

He saw the trembling thighs of yours as you close them holding your own sex as you roll over with a pausing high pitch moan. He loves when you’re stimulating yourself to the point you couldn’t touch your own clit again without flinching and letting out a pained out wince.

It’s attractive to see you torture yourself with the overwhelming amount of pleasure.

Mark was worried now, he just knew from the moment on this wasn’t going to be just a mere crush he has on you.

How will he confess to God what he has witnessed? Even if he did tell what he did was wrong. Mark loved it so much, he wouldn’t go back to change it. If he went back to the past — he would do it all over again…

Now he knew for sure,,

This is the beginning of the Sin & Obsession he has on you…

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu <3 Reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out.

[oneshotnewbie]

Could you write a one shot where there is a really bad storm hitting Seattle. Maya and Carina are stuck at the hospital and the fire station, and are trying but unsuccessful at reaching Reader. So they are both worried out of their minds. Then Maya has to go out on a call and find it was R who wrecked their car trying to get home before the storm hit. (Could be severe or non-severe injuries) R goes to the hospital with Maya in the aid car and Carina joins them in the ER.

Authors note: I heard the song "What the water gave me - Florence + The Machine" while writing this story. I would advise you to listen to the song as well while reading through this story to get the feel of a real Station 19 rescue mission like in the series. Of course it's not a must! ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

The sky over Seattle steadily darkened as pitch-black thunderclouds rolled in like a tidal wave. The wind began to howl as if playing its own somber tune, rushing restlessly through the skyscrapers of the city. Streets were quickly emptied as people rushed home for shelter. The trees bent under the force of the storm as if begging for mercy, but the storm was relentless. It thundered as if Zeus himself wanted to keep the crowds in their place while the rain fell in thick, large drops and threatened to drown Seattle. The sound of the wind, the falling of the rain and the thunder symphoned in a unique melody and conveyed a frightening atmosphere.

The telephones of the active fire brigade beeped in unison, a warning of the approaching storm that came in way too late. The tough captain of the fire department swallowed hard as she could not reach you, who worked just a few minutes away from her. But you did not answer, the connection was already disrupted, appearing to be off. "She wanted to be here fifteen minutes ago, Carina," both her and the brunette's worries grew with every minute through the phone as they imagined the worst possible scenarios without having any sign of life from you.

"Calm down, Bambina. There is probably total chaos on the streets. Fallen trees, flooding. Maybe she is just stuck in a traffic jam or an emergency came in."

The fire station was flooded with red alarm lights, while the walls shook from violent gusts of wind, preventing the young blonde from speaking further. Raindrops pelted against the roller shutter door, which opened more with every second, allowing the lightning strikes to break through their vision. -Fire engines 19 and 23. Ambulance 19 to Cedar Road Lane 6. Car struck by tree, person seriously injured and trapped.-

The firefighters rushed around, donning their suits and gear before grabbing their helmets. Like-minded, they rushed to the waiting vehicles, only Maya stopped briefly. „Please let me know if you hear anything from her. Stai attenta, bambina!" (Be careful, bambina!). She nodded, knowing that Carina could not see the gesture and hung up before hopping into the squad cars and starting the sirens. Pressing the accelerator, they raced through the whirlwind around them, trying to avoid the tree branches as much as possible.

Lightning flashed across the dangerous-looking sky, and thunder rolled at the same time like an angry demon. Maya clung to the steering wheel as she tried to keep her eyes on the wet, blurry road. They made their way through the flooded streets, branches flying through the air and trash cans tipping over and spilling across the sidewalk.

It was as if the world around her was collapsing in a chaotic dance of wind and water. "Listen guys, I know you want to help the person in the car, but first and foremost, think about your health and your life," the storm roared so loudly that it seemed like it wanted to tear the entire city apart and hardly anyone understood what the captain was saying over the radio. "This is one of the worst storms in years, a state of emergency has been declared and normally no one should be on the roads, so it is a mystery to me why anyone would be so dumb to be driving,"

Her team was clearly tense, the radios crackling in their ears, but they nodded to the captain as confirmation that they had understood the message. Maya did not want to lose any man or woman in her group to the storm. "We are approaching the scene of the accident. Be ready for anything, people. We can do this!" she said calmly and encouragingly while the fire engine´s sirens blared through the dark night.

When the team from Station 19 arrived at the scene of the accident, they were confronted with a dark and serious scene. The car is crammed in by a huge tree and is badly deformed, the hood of which is completely smashed and dented while some branches have pierced through the windshield and turned the interior of the vehicle into a field of rubble.

The fire team jumped out of the emergency vehicles and fought through the wind and rain to reach the car. But the captain remains rooted to the spot in front of the stern of the wreck, looking absentmindedly at the license plate, which was hanging askew. "Y/n.. IT IS Y/N!" she shouted unhindered amid the raging and deafening thunder and her team stopped their tasks in shock, Andy and Gibson focusing their gaze from the thick tree over to the woman in the driver's seat, who Warren was already trying to find vital signs on.

Maya lunged forward, her heart pounding with worry. Her helmet was almost blown away by the wind as she stepped closer, the flashlight shaking in her hand as she shone the light through the shattered window. Her heart seemed to skip a beat as she recognized the familiar features amid the devastation. She was confirmed that she did not have a number twist on the license plate, but that it really was you. Seriously injured and trapped in the car. “Y/n!” she cried, her voice filled with a terror she had never known before. Maya knew she had to stay calm now, that she had to be the professional captain, but her heart was screaming with fear and worry.

The other members of the fire department worked quickly and precisely. "Dean, Montgomery. Grab the hydraulic cutters! We need to get her out of here as quickly as possible. Her vital signs are at risk of plummeting!" shouted Warren. They used cutting tools to fight against the metal of the car on the passenger side and the resistance of the tree while Maya knelt next to the wreckage and held your hand, which was probably thrown out of the broken window after the impact and was now lying on the scratched paint of the outer door. "It looks bad in there! Be careful not to hurt her any further, approach carefully!"

Your eyes were dazed with pain and fear, but you were breathing, albeit weakly. Hearing her voice, you seemed to find some peace for a moment, your dull eyes glued to hers. Desperately wanting to say something, you opened your mouth from which blood began to ooze, but your crushed and injured lungs did not even let in air.

"Hold on, darling. Do not say anything, I am here. We will get you out of there, I promise." The blonde whispered, her voice firm to reassure you even as her own thoughts were caught in a chaos of worry and despair. The minutes stretched endlessly as her team struggled to bend the metal and free their captain's fiancée. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the metal gave way. Using their combined strength, Vic and Warren pulled you from the wreckage, carefully, yet as quickly as possible. As soon as they freed you, they carried you to the ambulance. Maya followed them, never taking her eyes off you. Your condition was serious, but you were still clinging to life. "Carina is coming. She is going to be at the hospital, she will be by your side the second you get there. But you have to fight now, okay? Fight for us."

The rain continued to beat down on you, the storm was still raging, but in the midst of this darkness and chaos there was a glimmer of hope- you were saved, and she would do anything now to help you fight through this storm. But it was hard to keep positive thoughts as the storm continued to sing its destructive song. She closed her eyes tightly as she rode in the ambulance and prayed, with your bloodstained hand in hers, that the next morning would bring a certain light to your health.

[thespiritssaidso]

some people do it by the book (but i prefer to go by feel)

Summary: Shawn and Lassiter are undercover at a high-end resort where all visitors get their own private cabin. All the two need to do now is settle in — and chop up some wood to make a fire, of course. 

Notes: okay, so I’m basing this place off of the Big Cedar Lodge (I went there one year with my family on a road trip). I’m not sure if there’s a resort like it in California, but oh well. Currently as I’m writing this, it is 3 in the afternoon and the internet at my job is crappy and won’t let me look at maps without taking forever and a half to load it up. And if anyone knows me then they know that my patience is extremely limited (part of the reason why I’m only good at writing one shots lmao) and I don’t really feel like taking longer than necessary to make sure the made-up place I am writing for the made-up people to stay at actually exists. 

TL;DR this place exists in Branson, Missouri, but I’m too lazy to make sure a place like it also exists in California. 

Anyways, enjoy!! I know we all love a good Shassie at a cabin au.

Flufftober day 8: Chopping and Piling Wood

—————

Lassiter grunted as he swung his ax into the block of wood, chopping it neatly in two. He leaned over and tossed the half still sitting on the block and tossed it onto a small pile that was slowly building up. After throwing the other half onto the pile right after the first, he reached up and wiped a line of sweat beading on his forehead. 

Currently, he and Shawn were undercover as a married couple to investigate a few disappearances that were happening at the Great Pine Lodge. 

The place was as fancy as a cabin in the woods could get. Full plumbing, air conditioning for when it got hot, heaters for when it got cold, a large king size plush mattress complete with expensive feeling sheets and covers. And that was just the cabin. 

About a stone’s throw from where they were staying was a large beautiful lake, with water so clear Lassiter could almost see the bottom. 

The other cabins people were staying at were a decent distance from their own, close enough to see but not close enough to hear the inhabitants if they were inside. 

A paved road — not a gravel road — sat in front of the cabins, shuttle buses on speed dial on the rotary phone sitting on the bedside table inside, so that visitors wouldn’t have to waste their own cars’ gas to go to the dining hall, or the gift shop, or even the arcade (yes, this place had an arcade). 

Lassiter had always dreamed of going here one day. It was the perfect vacation spot for him and Shawn; fine dining, a beautiful view, activities the both of them would enjoy. 

But now was not the time for dreaming of a perfect vacation (although hopefully there’d be some time left for them to do so). Now was time for investigation. Or more aptly, chopping firewood, in Lassiter’s case. 

Before chopping another log, Lassiter stopped to reroll his sleeves that were slowly unraveling themselves. At the moment, all he was wearing was the button up he normally had on under his jacket, the pants to match said jacket, and his work shoes. He probably should’ve put a little more thought into his wardrobe. 

Too late. He’d committed and now he had to stick with it. Lassiter was just glad that Shawn was still unpacking inside. He was always self-conscious about his arms, how much of a stick he looked when he wasn’t wearing something loose — like his suit jacket. 

He looked at his biceps with disdain. It wasn’t like he was weak and couldn’t lift anything. His muscles just never showed unless he flexed them, hiding like some kind of sleeper agent, or whatever they were calling it nowadays. 

Whatever. So long as no one was here to see him make an idiot of himself trying to chop wood. Lassiter was eventually able to cut them into halves once he figured out a comfortable rhythm, but the start was just godawful. His first swing into the first log didn’t have enough weight behind it and was at an awkward angle, so it had bounced away from the wood and left only a small dent. His second swing was too strong and split right between the log and lodged itself into the chopping block. 

But he was better now, after cutting for what felt like hours, though realistically it had probably been thirty minutes. 

After placing another log down, Lassiter prepared to swing the ax once more when-

“That is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Lassiter nearly jumped out of his skin. There, leaning against the door was none other than his boyfriend. From what he could see, it looked like Shawn made himself a mug of something warm, judging by the faint steam emanating from it. Tea? Coffee? Hot cocoa? Probably the latter, knowing his boyfriend’s taste for sweet things. 

Lassiter felt the tips of his ears warm, and he knew they’d gone red. “How long were you standing there for?” 

“Ah, time is irrelevant-”

“Shawn.” 

“At least ten minutes.”

Ten minutes. Ten minutes of just watching him swing an ax at wood. Lassiter had no clue what he looked like when he was cutting wood, but he was probably ridiculous. Shawn had probably seen every mistake he’d made. 

Lassiter turned back around, doing his best to ignore the way Shawn was staring at him and lifted the ax once more. He swung with precision and split the log neatly. “Don’t lie, Shawn.” He said, referring to what Shawn had said that startled him. “You know I hate it-”

“What? No no no! Carly, I’m being serious! Look, this is my serious face.”

He didn’t look, not wanting to see his boyfriend who was most likely holding back laughter. He didn’t say anything either, simply returning to the task at hand. Although now he knew he had an audience, which somehow made swinging an ax ten times harder than it was originally. 

There was quiet, uncharacteristic for Shawn. Only the crunching of dead leaves and the swish of grass told Lassiter that he was walking over to him. 

“Back up. I don’t want to accidentally hit you with the-”

“Carlton, look at me. Lemme see those baby blues.” 

At the use of his name, Lassiter turned his head to Shawn. The lack of a nickname and his tone told the detective that he really was being serious. 

And he was right. Lassiter couldn’t remember the last time the otherwise childish man looked this serious about something. He said nothing as he looked into Shawn’s eyes, grass green grounding him. He dropped the ax, a dull thud breaking the quiet. 

“I love all of you, Carly. Doesn’t matter how much you hate it, I look and see you. I don’t see flaws, I see the sexiest body a man could ask for.”

Lassiter couldn’t help the grin, or the tiny laugh that bubbled out at the last thing Shawn said. “Alright, if you say so.” 

“I do say so, and my word is law. You should know this by now, Carlytown.” Shawn stated matter-of-factly. 

This time, Lassiter let out a snort at his boyfriend’s statement. “Is that right?”

“It is.” 

“Mhm. By the way, did you finish unpacking our stuff?” If his calculations were correct, Shawn had taken all of twenty minutes. And from past experience Lassiter knew that it took him at least an hour to get everything perfectly situated for the both of them. 

“We can do that later, I know you have a specific way you like to have your toothbrush set up. Right now there’s a suspect somewhere that’s begging to get caught.” 

“I’m not sure any criminal actually wants to get caught.”

“Really? Because I’m sensing they’re at the arcade right now, writing a secret message in morse code at the game where you have to shoot down those rubber ducks.” 

“Are they, or do you just want to go play games?” 

“That’s neither here nor there. Point is, I’ve already called a shuttle to pick us up and take us to the main building. They should be here in about… five minutes?” 

Lassiter stared at him incredulously. “Five- five minutes? And you’re only telling me this now because why?” That just barely left him with enough time to get out of his sweaty button up and into something clean. It was just the arcade, but he’d prefer to go out without smelling weird in public. 

“Well, I would have told you earlier, but I just couldn’t stop watching you chop that wood. Seriously, Carly, you have no idea how hot you looked swinging that ax.”

“I- alright, fine. Could’ve used more warning time, but it’s fine. Where’d you put my clothes?” 

“In the dresser on the left of the bed, everything’s in the top drawer.”

—————

Notes: yeah yeah yeah, the name of the place they’re staying at is just a rip from the place I based it off of. Sue me. 

oh and the title is a lyric in C'mon Girl by Red Hot Chili Peppers, i couldn't come up with an actual title by myself, sorry

ao3 link

[lousypotatoes]

But They're Always Tryin' To Waste Me

Pt. 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt. 4

Song Recommendation:

Mary On A Cross - Ghost

"So what'd ya think?"

"I'm sorry, but what the fuck was that!?"

"You call that a commercial? Seriously what in the actual fuck is wrong with you!?"

Y/N and Vaggie glared at Alastor in anger.

Charlie and Vaggie were sitting on the couch, while Y/N was standing to the side, the three of them just finished watching Alastor's terrible commercial.

"Uh yeah, one note..." Charlie said awkwardly. "Alastor I mean - First off, thank you so much for making this, seriously amazing, but um maybe the tone is a bit...off?"

"A bit? He made the hotel look like a complete joke!" Y/N said.

"We want people to want to come here," Charlie explained. "This makes it look ummm..."

"Bad," Vaggie bluntly said. "The word you're looking for is bad.

Y/N nodded in agreement.

"Funny, I was going for hilarious!" Alastor said.

"It explained nothing about how we're trying to save these sinners," Y/N spat. "Which is the whole fucking point, by the way."

"Y/N is right, Alastor." Charlie reasoned. "The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them."

"Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show!" Alastor said. "The proper medium to express oneself! But you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement, so I had a little fun with it."

"Oh fun. You had a little fun with it?" Vaggie snarled. "Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel!"

"Instead, you're mocking us," Y/N added, her arms crossed. "No one's gonna come to a place where a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a fucking joke!"

Suddenly, Angel raised his gloved hand.

"What now?" Y/N groaned.

"If'n ya filmin' a commercial," Angel Dust said. "Can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?"

"Angel, you're a porn star." Vaggie said.

"A famous porn star!" Angel corrected. "I'll have the horniest sinners knockin' down these walls to get in!"

"For the last time, we are not filming you sucking another's guy dick as a commercial!" Isabell said tiredly, getting up and walking over to the bar, needing a drink.

"Why not? Sex sells, don't it?" Angel asked. "I swear if you film goin' at it with mister fancy talk-creepy voice here, you'd be rollin' in participants willin' to stay at this tacky hotel."

"Haha! Never going to happen!" Alastor laughed.

"What'll it be?" Husk asked, wiping down the counter.

"Literally anything that makes me forget about Alastor." Y/N groaned.

"Now you know how I feel," Husk grumbled, pouring Isabell a glass of scotch.

"Mmm, that's good," Y/N hummed in delight, finishing the whole thing. "Pour me some more, please."

"Alright," Husk said, pouring more into the glass.

"Hey, I have a question." Angel said suddenly. "If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?"

"Oh, trust me, I can!" Alastor said ominously.

"Why do you think I'm here?" Husk said. "You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fuck's bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcin' me?"

"I like being forced." Niffty said suddenly, making Y/N almost spit out her drink.

"Keep that to yourself, Niff." Husk said.

"What, you don't love being here with me, Whiskers?" Angel asked.

"Call me "Whiskers" again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat! Husk exclaimed.

"Kinky," Angel said suggestively. "C'mon keep talkin' dirty."

"Angel, please let Husk do his fucking job," Y/N sighed. "And no, we can't force sinners to stay here, they have to choose to."

"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid," Angel said. "We're in Hell, Toots. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?"

"Well, maybe it doesn't have to be." Vaggie said. "Just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible."

"And if you think it's stupid, why don't you just leave then?" Y/N asked.

"'Cause I need a place to crash and crack's expensive." Angel answered.

"Of course you would say something like that." Y/N scoffed.

"Vaggie! Y/N! Holy shit!" Charlie exclaimed suddenly.

"Ahh! What?" Y/N and Vaggie said at the same time.

"Get over here!" Charlie said, gesturing for them to follow her.

"What's going on?" Y/N asked as her and Vaggie followed Charlie.

"My dad just called. He said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. He asked if I could go instead." Charlie said, very fast.

"But-But the extermination just happened," Vaggie said. "What could they want this soon after--

~cue music~

Charlie: I can do this, somehow, I know it. I'll get Heaven behind my plan.

Vaggie: Charlie wait!

Charlie: There's just no way, I could blow it. Not this once in a lifetime chance.

Vaggie: It's just a meeting.

Charlie: To change their minds, and touch their hearts. Or whatever angels have.

Vaggie: This could be bad

Charlie: Cheer up, Vaggie, this could be swell. Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!

Y/N: Okay, hun, just don't sing to them.

Angel: That bitch is halfway down the street.

Y/N: Is she-?

Angel: Oh, she's dancin'.

Vaggie and Y/N: Ugh, no!

~end music~

"Oh, I really hope the meeting goes well," Y/N said.

"Yeah, me too," Vaggie mumbled.

"Is everything okay, Vaggie?" Y/N worried.

"Yeah, I'm just worried the angels won't listen to her,"

"I'm sure they will," Y/N smiled.

Sprawling herself onto the couch, Y/N thought of the best idea.

"Oh my God, Vaggie!" she said, sitting bolt upright. "I just had the best idea ever!"

Alastor, Husk, Angel, and Niffty were all sitting on the couch in front of Y/N, Vaggie standing beside her.

"Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something super important right now," Y/N paced. "So, while she's gone, we are going to make a new commercial. One that represents her vision and our goal here."

Angel lazily raised his hand, a smirk on his face.

"Angel, if you say anything about us making a porno for the commercial, I will cut you."

Angel put his hand back down, a small frown on his face.

"Any questions?" Y/N asked.

Nobody said a word.

"Great, now we need a camera, Alastor?"

Alastor snapped his fingers and an old-timey camera from the nineteen thirties appeared in Y/N's hands.

"I meant a video camera," Y/N grumbled.

Alastor hummed in disapproval, but snapped is fingers again, this time a modern video camera appeared in Y/N's hands.

"All right, let's go!"

Y/N watched from the sidelines as Vaggie filmed a scene with Husk and Angel.

"And...action!" Vaggie whispered.

"'Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?'" Husk read, the script right in front of his face.

"'I've been a bad boy, and I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place...'" Angel said, climbing up onto the bar. "'On the path to redemption."

'"Well you come-'"

'"Oh yes!'"

'"...To the right place.'"

"Cut!" Vaggie called out.

"Okay, Angel you need to be less horny, if that's even possible," Y/N criticized.

"And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?" Vaggie asked.

"I ain't no act, I can't memorize this shit!" Husk angrily.

"Well, we could improv this shit, baby cakes. Rawrr." Angel purred.

Husk then pushed off Angel off the bar, landing with a big thud.

"Whoops," Husk said.

"Husk, come on!" Vaggie said.

"Okay, we'll just come back to this scene," Y/N dryly said. "Husk, Angel, uh, just work on it a little more."

"I'm not makin' and promises," Husk said.

"At least try to work on it," Y/N frowned. "Please?"

Husk looked at Y/N not liking the frown on her face.

"Fuck, fine," Husk grumbled.

"Thanks," Y/N smiled.

"Niffty you're up!"

Niffty sat on the floor, trying to stab some cockroaches with a long, sharp needle.

"Alright Niffty," Vaggie said, trying to get Niffty's attention. "Niffty? Niffty!"

Niffty finally started to listen.

"Your line is, 'We have the cleanest rooms.'" Vaggie said gently. "Okay?"

"Got it! I'm ready!" Niffty exclaimed.

Vaggie started to record, Y/N watching the scene from behind her.

"Action," Vaggie said.

Niffty's face went black, her one eyeball staring into the camera.

Y/N, Vaggie, and Angel stared at her with confusion and a little bit of fear.

"Uhhh..cut,"

Niffty giggled. "How was that?"

"Niffty, sweetie, you have to actually say the line," Y/N explained. "Let's try this again."

"Okay!"

"Action,"

Niffty's face went blank again, making Y/N pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"You're doing great, Vagina," Angel whispered.

"Cut!" Vaggie snarled.

"Okay, um," Y/N mumbled. "Maybe we can fix it in post."

"Do you even know what that means?" Angel asked.

"Yes, I know what it means!" Y/N snapped.

"Uh-huh," Angel said.

Before Y/N and Vaggie looked at the tape, Y/N decided that she needed another drink.

It was her fifth drink that day.

"Y'know, you should really slow down," Husk said, pouring her some whiskey.

"Slow down on what exactly?" Y/N snarked.

"This whole thing your doin'," Husk grumbled. "Tryin' to please everyone. You're just gonna exhaust yourself."

"It's kinda my job to make sure everyone here is happy," Y/N sipped on her drink. "Besides, it's for Charlie, so I don't care what happens to me in the process."

"You should," Husk said. "That kind of shit is important."

"Maybe to other people, but not to me," Y/N mumbled. "I stopped caring about what happens to me a long time ago."

"Hm, been there," Husk murmured.

It was silent for a moment, Husk looking down and Y/N drinking her whiskey.

"I should probably get back to Vaggie," Y/N got up. "Thanks for the drink, and the advice."

"Uh-huh, anytime," Husk said, pouring himself a drink.

Y/N smiled to herself and walked off.

Y/N and Vaggie sat in the living room, watching the footage they recorded on the TV.

"This was the worst idea I've ever had," Y/N cringed.

Vaggie groaned in agreement.

"Seems like you two are having a bit of trouble there, hm?" said a voice suddenly.

"Ugh, este pendejo...why are you even here?" Vaggie said.

"For the entertainment," Alastor said, sitting down next to Y/N, making her scoot away. "I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly. Like you two are doing now!"

"Good job!"

Y/N picked up the camera and began recording. "Here's Alastor, a pompous piece of shit who-"

The video camera started to glitch and spark, making Y/N gasp and drop it.

"I wouldn't try that my dear," Alastor said sinisterly. "This face was made for radio!"

Y/N scoffed, not at all phased by him.

"That's it! I don't give a fuck who you are. If you're staying here, you're going to help. Because it won't be so 'entertaining' to watch over an empty hotel will it, asshole?"

"Fair enough," Alastor said. "I'll tell you what! Let's make a deal."

Vaggie laughed sarcastically. "Do you think we're that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you?"

"Not for your souls, just a simple deal," Alastor replied. "I do this for you two, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again!"

Y/N contemplated her what she would say.

"Or...Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing!" Alastor said smugly. "The choice is entirely up to you two."

Y/N sighed. "Fine. Vaggie?"

Vaggie nodded her head in agreeement.

Alastor took the video camera, making is disappear in a swirl of green smoke.

"Now then," he said, snapping his fingers.

Suddenly, movie cameras and lights appeared, shadow demons were behind the cameras. Everybody's outfit changed into something more like Alastor's taste, which was obviously from the 1930's.

Y/N stared at her outfit in delight, quite liking how it looked on her.

"Alright everyone!" Y/N exclaimed. "Let's make a fucking commercial!"

Vaggie and Y/N waited by the front door, while everybody else was sitting in front od the TV.

Finally, they heard the door open.

"Charlie!" Vaggie said, running up to her and hugging her.

Y/N automatically knew something was wrong when she saw the look on Charlie's face.

"How did it go?" Y/N asked. "Did they listen?"

"Oh, uhhh," Charlie listened. "They sure did...hear it! But, um..."

"Oh! Come here," Vaggie interrupted, grabbing Charlie's arm. "We have something exciting to show you."

Y/N followed behind as Vaggie pulled Charlie over to the couch.

"Alastor pulled some strings and it's about to air," Vaggie said, as Y/N stood next to Niffty.

"I pulled a few limbs too!" Alastor laughed.

"Wait, the commercial?" Charlie asked. "You all made a new one?"

"It was Y/N's idea," Vaggie said.

Charlie looked over at Y/N with the brightest expression on her face.

"Oh, don't give me all the credit," Y/N blushed.

"It was one of my better performances, if I do say so myself," Angel said.

"That's...that's amazing!" Charlie said, tears in her eyes.

"Shh, it's starting!" Angel said.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hot-" Y/N said on the TV before it got interrupted by a news broadcast.

"Are you fucking serious?" Y/N angrily shouted.

Everyone else besides Husk and Alastor had the same reaction as her.

Besides Niffty, of course, she was laughing happily and clapping.

"Breaking news in Hell today!" Katie Killjoy said. "We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is sooner than ever before."

Y/N's eyes widened in fear and disbelief.

"Do you know what that means, Tom?" Katie asked.

"No. What does it mean Katie?" Tom Trench replied.

"It means we're all royally fucked!" Katie said, climbing up onto the news table, her neck bending in a scary way.

The next show on the TV showed the extermination countdown going from three hundred fifty eight days down to one hundred seventy six days.

"Wait...what? Why!?" Angel asked in disbelief.

"This has to be some sort of sick joke," Y/N muttered in fear. "It has to be."

Everyone in the room (beside Niffty) all had a panicked look on their face.

They were all thinkin the same thing.

"We are literally going to die,"

IM SORRY THAT IS TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPLOAD

MY AMAZON PRIME LOGGED ME OUT AND IVE BEEN REALLY BUSY WITH MOVING IN AND PACKING

thank you for everyone who stayed patient :)

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

Taglist 💃

@mysticwitchcraftco @diffidentphantom @wendigonamecaller @barrythestrawberry041 @jx3-xd

@froggybich

[solcorvidae]

Modern Witcher AU: My Headcanons (part 2 of ?)

Jaskier was put in a ton of winter sports as a kid. He knows how to ski and ice skate very well. He can snowboard but prefers skiing.

Geralt, on the other hand, never learned to skate. He and Eskel have not been able to find skates that fit their boot size since they were teenagers.

Geralt likes yard work more than other household chores. He likes maintaining the garden and arranging a nice living space to hangout in and Jaskier is very appreciative.

Jaskier is usually super busy in the winter months. He attends get togethers, dinners, parties, etc. Geralt does the opposite. He and his family head home for some time to relax and catch up with one another after being on the road. They don’t often do big activities or social events, mostly staying in the house with each other for the duration of their stay.

Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert shared a room until Geralt started to get into his teen years. Their childhood room had a bunk bed for the two oldest boys and a single bed for Lambert. Lambert eventually took over Vesemir’s office and it was converted to his new room. Now, they each have normal bed frames that sit on the floor.

Geralt wears a dark brown, felt, pinch front cowboy hat. He is very attuned to the etiquette and superstitious beliefs around wearing one.

Eskel and Jaskier are the same height (6’0)

Geralt is 6’3 but often people assume he’s shorter. He slouches when he sits and tries to take up as little metaphorical space in the room as he can. When he stands up, his posture is straight as a board and this adds to the surprise many people feel when they see how tall he really is.

Eskel is the opposite. He has a large but warm and inviting presence when he enters a room. He makes himself known and takes up a lot of space with his big personality. People often assume he must be taller than he really is and are often surprised when they stand next to him and see eye to eye.

Lambert is 5’11 and bitter about it.

Eskel has textured, somewhat oily skin but shockingly left his acne struggles in his teen years.

Geralt was blessed with little to no acne most of his life—including as a teenager.

Lambert hasn’t quite grown out of it and still gets the occasional (relatively mild) blemish. They usually appear when his disposable razor starts to get dull and begins to irritate the skin--Geralt tries to get him to invest in a safety razor, to no avail.

All three boys share a bathroom at Vesemir's house and Vesemir has his own tiny ensuite bathroom. He doesn't care if they trash their own space as long as it doesn't start growing mysterious molds…

Everyone having different hair colours (especially Geralt) meant that it was difficult to blame each other for hair left in the bottom of the tub/sink. But oh did Lambert try.

They are banned from using Vesemir's bathroom unless they absolutely have to. The shower however, is non negotiable. It is off limits altogether.

The only exception to this rule is when any of the boys are sick. When one of them is ill, Vesemir sets them up on the floor with blankets and a pillow so they don't have to keep running to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It also helps that he can keep an eye on them and monitor if they start getting worse or need to go to urgent care—Eskel was particularly bad for lying about not being sick for a long time.

As a child Geralt would wake up every night in the middle of the night from the dead of sleep and be afraid to fall back asleep on his own. He always climbed to the top bunk where Eskel slept and he felt safe. If Eskel wasn't there or he didn't want to wake him, Geralt would walk to Vesemir's room to fall asleep in his dads bed where he felt just as safe. It took him a long time to grow out of this habit.

Even though his boys are all grown up, Vesemir would never turn them away from any sort of "childish" comfort, especially when they're going through a particularly hard time. If they ever needed a hug or wanted to fall asleep in his room, all they had to do was ask.

[Modern AU Headcanon Masterpost]

[mortuarywriting]

If I outline what the fuck i wanna see in my self indulgent au will it give me the kick in the ass to write it.

Obviously relative spoiler/high notes/plot points below

The premise is, so far, nobody has seen where Simon lives. As far as they- they being Gaz, Soap, and Price- know he has a flat in Manchester.

Well leaving base one night(ish, time negotiable), the road they were all taking in their separate vehicles is closed due to a nasty accident. Gonna be blocked for 24 hours kinda mess.

So Ghost offers to let them all stay at his place, if only for a bit or the night if they prefer

Everyone just kinda. Well this isn't what we were expecting but alright. So they follow his car, it's pissing down rain and you can't see shit before you but the tail lights you're following but they've committed and by the time they pull off the road they're fuckin nowhere. House is fairly isolated, separate garage building, coop in the backyard, and a thatch roof cottage. Whose Nan's attic is Simon living in???

Except, not a random old biddie. Just a random fat American?? It's obvious they're familiar enough with each other, giving each other shit and that there's a whole "you got back from a mission here is our you came home routine"

Whole mess. The group stays the night because now they're nosy and wanna find out what the relationship is. You both say roommates. They don't wholly believe that.

Simon and roomie sleep downstairs, he can't sleep in a bed yet after the mission and roomie makes sure there's enough background noise that he doesn't snap into combat mode everything is about to go to shit.

Next morning roomie and Simon team up to make a hodge podge of all kinds of breakfast food and between them all there are no leftovers. Concerns are had if everyone ate enough (and then biscuits and gravy settled).

Its back to routine and roomie goes out to grocery shop to stock back up on "i need to feed myself and a whole ass army dude" levels of food and snackies.

While Simon is trying to get Soap and Gaz to stop making excuses to stick around (all good-natured fun) there is a call. Roomie prefaces this with they're fine!!! But uh. They did get hit by a car. A bit. Enough that there has to be a report. Come get the groceries?

And this is the part where they find out Simon and roomie are married. Have been for y e a r s. Technically the town knows them under roomie's last name as a couple.

After the dust is settled and everyone is back at the cottage the explaining happens. Yes, they're married. Vegas happened. It's been a long time and they kinda glossed over the whole "he's a dead man" legal bit for it. Roomie still gets married rights. How do you think he has a lease as a dead man roomie legitimately wants to know. The cottage is in their name, his isn't on it to keep it all off the record if people come knocking for him.

(He does actually have a Manchester flat, though. Landlord takes cash payments however many months at a time and doesn't ask questions. Roomie gets mail from it every once in a blue moon.)

Relationship is largely "we're married but for tax benefits"esque because they're both some flavor of ace. If he's in town roomie checks on if he wants to go to the Saturday munches or not but that's sir not appearing in this fic.

But yeah. Just fun self indulgence.

Could go write the Vegas bit. Write work "being brought home". Bonding activities. List of things for when he retires. Potentially kidnapping. S o many fun options but I just. Gotta write it.

[linkeduniverse-writing]

General LU Headcanons Part 2

Here's part 2 of my general headcanons and how I see/write the boys! This one will have Sky Warrior and Wild!

Part 1 Part 3

Sky

Always sleep the exact amount of time needed to feel fully rested

He won't wake up before that, unless they're under attack of course

He's a really heavy sleeper and snores quite a bit

He doesn't know what to think of the fact that destroying his stuff has become kind of a habit now

Between Hyrule showing off, Wild cooking with explosives, of all things, and Time accidentally dropping his bag into a pit

He's not even upset about it, because they've all been accidents, and nothing valuable has been lost, but still

They always help him get his stuff back, but it just keeps happening for some reasons

He starts to think it's payback for Demise's curse

He loves getting lost in towns

It's a way of discovering a new place that he grew fond of, for some reason

Especially when he finds little places in towns that are clearly not visited often, it feels like he discovered a beautiful little secret

He feels special

He'll sometimes try to get or carve a little trinket to the others from places they've been to, as he's really into gift giving

He has a lot of composure when it comes to injuries, but he doesn't like the smell of it

He'll help if they need to, but he'd rather do the caregiving part than first aid

It's even worse with illnesses

He gets kind of paranoid, but at least that makes him really good at keeping a good hygiene, even in a not so clean environment

He won't be on babysitting duty if germs are involved, but he'll keep everything nice and clean to make sure no one else contracts it

Warrior

Light sleeper

He moves a lot in his sleep, and sometimes wakes himself up like that

He's one of the first one to rise up in the morning but always stays in bed late

He likes listening to the sounds of the world still peacefully asleep around him

Despite being a high graded knight, he doesn't easily trust the military

Or maybe it's because he's so high ranked that he can see how corruptible it can be

And after hearing some of the stories the other told him, he's even more on guard

He does trust his soldiers tho, and hopes his teammates will trust them too if they end up in his Hyrule

He always indulges in shenanigans when Wind is the one asking for it

Hyrule can wear him down too, but not as much

He pretends it's to keep an eye on them, but the guy loves his fun too

Very fond of old people

Will always help them carry groceries or cross a road or something

And always with a dashing smile. They reward him with candy sometimes, and he keeps it all to himself

He knows how to charm his way into getting answers from people, but he sucks at bargaining and can get scammed easily, which is why Legend comes with him whenever they need a supply run

He learned first aid during the War, and learned to improvise when he needed to, so he's the first one to start checking on everyone after a fight

He'll do a general check up on everyone, rank injuries by severity, and then get to work to tend to them

If at least two others are in good enough shape, he'll point them to where they need to help, so everyone can be taken care of before it gets too bad

Hyrule's composure and Wild's endless potion stash are his best allies in this situation

Wild

Nightmares

He swear they're more memories than nightmares

He rarely remembers them, to his endless frustration

He wakes up early most of the time, but often in a good mood

He loves making breakfast for everyone, but loves it even more when one of them joins him to help

He just likes sharing stuff he knows, so sharing knowledge about his favorite activity? Sign him up

He kind of stopped hoping he could teach anything about cooking to Hyrule tho, but he understands potion crafting at least

Wild makes most of them so they don't have to buy them

He doesn't know shit about traditional medecine tho, he runs on potions only

Very ingenious, but always in the wrong way

As in, he has a curious mind and good ideas, but it's always to do some fucked up dangerous stunt

Twilight tries to stop him most of the time, but he lost all of his authority on him the day they all learned he shot himself out of a canon on his first adventure

Wild has been on the loose since then

He often go on exploring trips on his own when they set up camp in a new place, he needs his alone time

He loves the group! But he got used to being alone for months, and sometimes being around that many people for too long can be too much

They don't mind, tho

Ironically, he hates seeing injuries, but doesn't mind scavenging monster viscera to make stronger potions

A broken finger? A deep cut? He's not looking

But butchering a bokoblin and carving out its organs with a rusty knife? Yeah why not

He wishes he had more time to craft more potions, or to go collect more materials for said potions

So he could just hand over the potions to everyone instead of holding onto wet bandages to stop the bleedings, or hold his friend down when his other friend puts bones back in place

It's gross. He's gonna focus on the potions

[raayllum]

I've been thinking about the two-headed snake from the beginning of the show, and the Law of Chekhov's Gun is telling me that it's going to be coming back and causing problems sooner or later. Thought/theories?

The soul switching spell is definitely one of the most interesting plot and thematic elements the show has introduced and it looms over most of the fandom's thoughts regularly, I think. So let's go over it:

Plot

Obviously the biggest question here is "did Viren use the soul fang serpent to successfully switch Harrow's soul with Pip?", which people have speculated for years with about the same information (s1-s2) until s5 recently kicked things up a notch in terms of like having something new to turn over. @kradogsrats has a great meta here in regards to what exactly we can glean from 5x02 and how it may re-contextualize what we already 'know'. I highly recommend giving it a read.

That said, two things are true to me regarding the "is Harrow in Pip" theory:

Something happened in that room

Harrow is not going to come back

With these in mind, it's important to note that we know that TDP develops its seasons in batches simultaneously. The team didn't go from s1 to s2 to s3, but instead developed all three around the same time. Obviously production and some stuff was going around in order, but the only decisions that have been noted as changing was 1) Callum and Rayla were decided upon being a couple when storyboarding 2x04 as it wasn't originally in the cards and 2) Ezran going back to Katolis at the end of S2 was a surprise.

I make note of this because season two is absolutely the last point in show where you could angle things so that a Harrow who survived in Pip could come back and it wouldn't be Fucking Weird, basically. This is for two reasons:

1) We spend a good chunk of the season worrying about what the boys will do when they find out and actively mourning Harrow, with only one episode (2x07) not touching on it at all. That is a lot of time to spend on a character death you're going to ultimately undo. Conversely, we get less episodes dedicated to Rayla's relationship with her parents (1x05, 3x03, 3x08) in the first arc because it is widely implied that she's going to get them back; no point seeing her heavily mourn them when that's going to get reneged.

2) Harrow coming back wouldn't have much of a plot or character standpoint on the bulk of the trio — Callum largely received his dad/family related closure back in S2 and it'd let Runaan off the hook, so his and Rayla's relationship would be easier, not harder — but it'd nuke Ezran from both an emotional and a plot standpoint. His main arc is intrinsic to being royalty of a prince-turned-king, pushing him to make more decisions and figure out how to manage the difficult road to peace.

If Harrow comes back, he'd either stay on as an advisor (but that'd still kinda take weight off Ezran's shoulders that's currently there and arguably should be) or step away, leaving his young son to shoulder it alone. The first lessens Ezran's emotional poignancy within the theme(s)/show, and the second makes Harrow like, a bad father in ways he absolutely never was in life.

As pointed out in Krads' meta, Viren is likewise surprised when he sees Harrow alive and well in his 5x02 dream, and we get this exchange:

While we could read Harrow's initial "Surprised to see me" (because if the show points something out in dialogue, they really want you to Know) as "surprised to see me [out of the bird]" the show itself quickly does away with that reading. Viren is surprised that Harrow's survived, period. That doesn't bode well for "Viren is 110% sure that he, himself, put Harrow 100% into that damn bird". But like I said, something had to have happened, and Viren's behaviour with Pip is real fucking weird otherwise if he didn't at least try for something.

[ Side note: I also think it's worth noting what, exactly, is happening in the initial stages of Viren's dream with Harrow. This is decidedly not real Harrow, but the Harrow Viren wished for: someone who would not only forgive him, but embrace his dark magic use (aka him) rather than reject it. Not only is Harrow here alive because of Viren, but this Harrow loves Viren for what he did, and accepts Viren's act of devotion not only as one of family, but reciprocates it: "You're not just a servant. You're my family. You're a brother."

And Viren, for his part, is giving the reasonings behind Harrow's refusal ("I was frightened" / "They were coming to kill you") on both ends, without actually addressing the dark magic elephant sized rift in the room, still citing that it was about circumstance rather than principle or perspective. Moving on. ]

Remember how I said S2 was the last possible point things could've been shifted to accommodate a "Harrow comes back in full" plotline (most likely)? Yeah, well the other side of that is that S2 is the last time the show could've accommodated a retcon of "Viren didn't do anything to Harrow, actually, at all" the way that fans have often implied, and it's largely because of this otherwise very unnecessary scene all the way in 2x09 (in which other changes, like Ezran turning to go home, and Rayllum's romantic route, had been more than well decided):

This to me is the singular biggest sign that something did happen, and it's something we will uncover in the future, because otherwise, there is literally No Reason to not have Pip in Katolis upon Ezran's return. If the writing team truly intended to fully nullify Viren and 'retcon' the Harrow-bird situation, keeping Pip in Katolis and having him interact visibly and non-life alteringly with Ezran was the way to do it. But Pip has been MIA since 2x09 and has not interacted with anyone other than Viren since 1x04, and so it remains a Mystery that, likewise, the 5x02 Harrow dream went to completely unnecessary stakes to remind you of Pip's existence in the first place.

Moreover, you simply do not have a main character who can Talk to Animals (a power that outside his connection with Zym has not been incredibly plot relevant in ways that couldn't otherwise be achieved since like... 1x08-1x09 itself) and then Remove an animal he could talk to unless you decidedly Do Not (or cannot) have that conversation happen yet.

Which reaffirms what I said earlier: we can be 100% sure that something happened, and we can be at least 95% sure that Harrow is not being fully brought back in order to not lose narrative weight to Viren and Runaan's responsibility in his death and in Ezran's series' long arc.

So what did happen?

One possible answer (that I've posited, of course there are many) is that Harrow's soul got split in two.

We've seen people be separated from what would let them 'go on' before (Sarai's last breath yelling no as her spear sinks into Avizandum's chest; the Moonshadow assassin troupe in TTM). This would allow for a part of Harrow to exist in his own body (since there's a hot second between the spell being over and when Runaan's binding falls, though that might just be linked to bodies > souls, but the Lotus flowers are clearly linked to souls, so...?) and for part to exist in Pip. Pip could offer a solace and goodbye, that part of Harrow ultimately needs to be freed (literally) and left to be at peace, which could be effective and tie in both Ezran and Callum's emotional needs about their father.

Of course, this is all speculation. Harrow could be brought back as an advisor after everything, helping but not telling Ezran how to rule because the new generation should pave the way; something else could've been put into Pip entirely that we just don't have the Star or Deep magic context for.

Thematically and symbolically though, I think a lot of the actual concept of "switch souls with somebody else" > actual Pip-Harrow plot line has been brought back somewhat in full already, so let's talk about it.

Theme / Symbolism

The switching spell is, textually, a warped collision of Callum and Claudia's brains, and we see it repeatedly echo throughout both their arcs from S1-S5:

Some of this is quick-paced and obvious, such as when Callum literally switches places later just this episode and says he's Ezran, preparing to die in Ezran's place. (This is one of the reasons Callum, Claudia, and Viren circle each other so closely in the series; not only are they our three primary mages; Viren and Harrow's rift happens indirectly on Viren's end, after all, because of Callum and Claudia's collision here.)

Some of this is more of a slowburn — Claudia, collapsing on the floor and clearly having done a number on herself to spare her brother; Rayla with Callum's scarf to make Sol Regem chase her instead; Callum, taking Finnegrin's deal that was originally to set himself free in hopes he'll let Rayla go — or taken onto the shoulders of other characters (Ezran and Viren's literal king exchange in 3x04) simply because the idea of Exchange is so intrinsic to the series and to dark magic use in particular. Sometimes transactional, sometimes selfless, occasionally necessary in the eye of the beholder.

However, in a more literal sense, it sets up the series' long association of dark magic with snakes, and all that comes with it (poison, losing your soul, knowledge, chains, etc):

When Callum does dark magic, he's crushing a snake's rattle tail, a literal warning sign. Claudia for the entire first arc has a literal (snake) chain on her wrist that she uses for dark magic. The fact that the series routinely uses Christian symbolism for its villains (Aaravos eating an apple, Viren dying and being resurrected, sacrificing your "only beloved son" etc etc) only heightens this more negative association.

We also get mentions from the Book 2 novelization that the true sight serum Viren uses to try to see the mirror is 1) inherited from Kpp'Ar, which never bodes well and 2) made from the venom of eyeless vipers under moonless nights by the Oracles of Ophidia, just to double down on the "snake shit obscures your sight with dark magic and madness" angle.

But at the end of the day, thus far, snakes are just a symbol.

The more interesting way the soul-switching spell has come full circle though, already, through the possession plotline. Case in point:

Aaravos sets up his pawns to suffer and take the fall for him in the past (Ziard) and present (Claudia). He's hidden within Viren's body before (3x07 siege of Lux Aurea). He takes this to be a more literal, threatening embodiment through his possession of Callum. His soul and will overtakes Callum's body. Callum asks to die so Aaravos can't use him; in this lens, Callum will be dying for not just Aaravos' mistakes, but Aaravos' choices. Aaravos will 'hide' inside Callum's body and enact his will through it, and it'll lead to bloodshed either of Callum or of Rayla (or both) inevitably while Aaravos, in S6, will presumably get off scot free. (To be clear, Callum's not going to die, but this is the idea/risk of the concept and one of the reasons why it's so terrible.)

Which makes sense, honestly. The soul switch spell is the first real dark magic spell we get to see the context for, as Ziard's 1x01 spell takes time (3x01) as well as the moral reservations against. It just makes sense that Aaravos, the 'originator' of dark magic for lack of a better understanding, would then take said spell to its natural conclusion in which case even the consent of the vessel isn't just violated, but completely terminated and disregarded. Because, y'know — dark magic is awful, and it always has been.

[obsolescent]

Times Like These

Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x GN!Reader

Author’s Note: A short oneshot for today! I got this idea while at the beach the other week. Leon gets to have a peaceful, relaxing time on vacation. Also trying out a new format, took some nice photos there. Enjoy!

Content Warnings: None, fluff, domestic bliss, gender neutral language for reader, Leon is trans but just his chest scars are mentioned.

September, in your opinion, is the best time to visit the beach. Not too hot and not too many visitors either, which is ideal for your boyfriend, Leon. He gets antsy around crowds of people, but due to his line of work, it’s understandable. 

You two prepared the car for the trip down to the gulf, bags and suitcases stacked in the back of Leon’s Jeep Wrangler. It takes around five hours to drive to your destination, a relatively comfortable, easy, and short road trip, the silence filled with Leon’s divorced dad rock music.

Arriving at the condo midday, you two settle in for the week-long stay, before making your way down the short boardwalk to the beach. Once you’ve finished setting up your canopy and chairs, you make a beeline for the shore, shell bag in hand.

Leon follows you, sitting further back to avoid the brunt of the waves. You sit on your knees, finding out quickly that it’s the optimum way to remain upright while the waves wash against you while digging for shells. 

Securing the net’s string around your wrist, you begin to dig into the sand, searching. Brushing against something, you wrap your hand around it, pulling up a lightning whelk shell, fully intact! “Aha! Look, honey!” You exclaimed, showing off your successful find.

“Oh, wow! Fully intact, too. Good job sweetheart,” Leon says, smiling at you. You grin back, going back to digging. As you move further in, the waves begin their assault against you, periodically a whap against your back while you hunt. Not paying it any mind, you continue, whereas Leon has taken notice.

“Baby, the waves are hitting you pretty hard, do you want to move up some? Get away from them?” He asks, concern lacing his voice. “No, I’m okay! They aren’t bothering me!” You reply back, slightly distracted by your current activity. 

“Well, why don’t we swim some? Your bag looks pretty full.” He was right. Glancing down, you hadn’t realized how many you had already found. You nod, cinching your shell bag closed, you bring it back to your spot on the beach. After dropping it off, you head back to the shoreline, Leon having gotten up already and wading into the water.

Following him out, you swim out where the water is up to your chest, beginning to float. You let the waves rock your body, a lulling rhythm as you lean back, closing your eyes and letting yourself float on the surface. 

You feel something brush against your back, startling you. Letting out a shout, your body jolting and beginning to move away, before arms encircle your waist. “Jus’ me, baby,” Leon whispers in your ear, having swam up underneath you, now cradling your body against his.

“Almost gave me a heart attack,” You mutter, relaxing against his hold. He chuckles, “Gotta keep you on your feet, don’t I?” He responds. You let out a giggle, squeezing his forearm that keeps you against him. You two float there, staring up at the azure sky. The sounds of seagulls flying overhead and the lapping of the waves creating a peaceful ambiance.

Leon sighs, closing his eyes and letting the burdens and stress float away with the current. “This is so nice,” You whisper, laying your head against his shoulder. “Yeah, it is. Even nicer with you here with me, baby.” He kisses the top of your head, smelling of saltwater and faintly of sunscreen.

You hum, nodding your head. Glad to have this time with him. It’s not often he’s allowed some time away from work, especially not for a week. But he was promised the entirety of his vacation wouldn’t be disturbed, allowing him alone time with you.

You two stay there, treading water, for what seems like hours. You begin to grow tired, knowing it wouldn’t be wise to fall asleep in the water, regardless if Leon is holding you up. You decide to swim back to shore, wanting to also take a closer look at all the shells you found. 

“I’m going to head back, okay?” You detach yourself from him, heading for the shore. “Don’t get tide get you!” You call out. “Don’t worry, if the current sweeps me out to sea, just collect the life insurance.” Him and his dry ass humor. “Leon!” You yell, snapping your head back towards him. He just laughs, amused at your reaction. 

Reaching land, you sit down on the towel laid out, dumping out the contents of your bag, assorting them from biggest to the smallest. Not long after, Leon joins you, body glistening from the ocean water, his chest scars faint against his skin. He begins toweling off his hair as he sits down on one of the beach chairs. As he works on drying his body, he begins watching you work, a content smile spreading across his features.

Your hands make quick work of organizing the shells, moving fast as concentration furrows your brow. Leon then notices the color washing over your features, turning to look at the sun bathing the beach in a variety of colors that leave him awestruck. 

You glance up at Leon, taking notice of him staring off into the eventide, seemingly lost in thoughts. His body relaxed, face serene. You get up and make your way over to him, holding your hand out. “Let’s take a walk along the shore,” You say, catching his attention. He grins up at you, grabbing your hand and pulling himself up. 

You walked alongside him, hand in hand. The sun begins to dip below the horizon, bathing the sky in hues of gold and orange. Something like this, so domestic, seemed far out of reach for Leon. He allows himself to fantasize, hopeful that one day times like these won’t last just a week at a time, but every day for the rest of his life, with you by his side.

[anneapocalypse]

Why Anders and Fenris can't be friends (in the game)

Recently I made a short post that was supposed to stay that way, but instead it took over my brain for several days so I'm going to expand on it. In that post, I said:

"Why can't Fenris and Anders get along? Why can't they see what they have in common?" Because it's a story about how people can be practically and philosophically correct about a specific thing, and also get so mired in their own pain and trauma that they can't relate to people whose pain and trauma comes from a different source and who are right about something else, especially if trying to reconcile those two things would threaten their sense of self. And that is, imo, both more interesting and more true to the human experience than if they simply looked past all that without any difficulty.

So, with that as our starting point, why don't Anders and Fenris find common ground by the end of the game? Wouldn't that be a strong character arc for both of them, and aren't both characters lesser for not getting there? Is this an oversight, rushed development, bad writing?

I think the answer to these questions lies in the journeys that Anders and Fenris are each on over the course of the game, and in this post I'm going to explore both of their arcs a bit, where they’re both going and why their paths are divergent in the game. Specifically I mean to argue here that they cannot find common ground during the game because Fenris spends the game finding safety, while Anders spends the game becoming progressively less safe.

Disclaimer time! This post is not meant as a refutation of anyone’s ships or headcanons! You do you. What I hope to explore here is why things go the way they do in the game itself.

I’m also aware that this game has been out for over a decade, that there is nothing new under the sun, that both of these characters provoke strong feelings in a lot of us, and that some fans are just tired of hearing about them in general. If the latter is you, please feel free to scroll right on by; no need to inform me.

This analysis will necessarily involve discussing both characters’ flaws as well as their strengths (as well as those of some other characters), but it’s coming from a place of love and appreciation for these characters as complex and multi-faceted. Please refrain from expressing character hate on this post.

Content warnings: discussion of slavery, the Chantry explosion, abuse and trauma generally.

Anders' Journey

It has been said that Anders' character arc in DA2 is a downward spiral while Fenris is on a slow road to recovery. And I basically agree with that, but I don't think of it as a downward spiral in terms of negative character growth, precisely. While I do think there are ways in which Anders becomes less able and willing to empathize with others over the course of the game, I consider that more of a side effect of what's happening to him than a sign of him being on some kind of moral downturn.

To me, the downward spiral is that Anders spends the entire game losing hope.

As an apostate in Kirkwall (and a possessed one at that), I think it is important to recognize that Anders is never truly safe. It seems likely to me that the only reason he remains free for so long is because he happens to befriend some very powerful and influential people in Kirkwall—most notably, Varric Tethras, who is known to pay people off to keep his friends safe from the city's various criminal organizations, and I don't think it's unlikely that he's payed off templars as well.

Even in his closest circle of friends, Anders isn't completely safe. And it isn't Fenris who poses the greatest danger to him! The one character who actively suggests they turn in Anders (and Merrill) to the templars is Sebastian in Act III—and it's Fenris who brushes him off, telling him to "work it out with Hawke." I don't think Fenris would lose any sleep if it happened, but he actively declines to be a part of it. While Fenris is not above turning in mages generally (he will rat out Emile de Launcet to the Knight-Commander if brought along for “On the Loose”), there's no evidence that Fenris has ever made an active attempt to turn Hawke's mage companions over to the templars; if nothing else, he has too much respect for Hawke.

There's another companion who we know has turned mages in. Aveline and Anders get off to a pretty sour start right in Act I when Aveline asks if she can "consult" with him, and Anders guesses (rightly, it seems) that she just wants information on how to fight and kill mages. Needless to say, he is not forthcoming with help. Their Act II banter begins with Anders pointing out that she isn't a particularly mage-friendly Captain of the Guard, where Aveline counters that she’s only turned “a handful” over to the templars. Between Act II and Act III, there is a mounting tension between the two of them, with Anders in the final act doing his best to nudge Aveline away from defending the templars. Not even ideologically—he knows that's a losing battle with Aveline—but by bringing up Meredith's overreach and the fact that even Donnic doesn't agree with the Knight-Commander. When explaining to Hawke why he hasn't included them in the Mage Underground, Anders cites Hawke's connections to the nobility and to the Guard. It's no mystery who he's talking about.

There are people among Hawke's companions who pose an actual danger to Anders—and Fenris is not at the top of that list, no matter how much they may despise each other. And I think Anders' interactions with Fenris are especially vitriolic, not in spite of that fact, but because of it. I'd say similar of Merrill, the other companion Anders arguably has the most acrimony with. Neither Fenris nor Merrill poses any true threat to Anders. They are both elves who do not benefit from drawing attention to themselves; Merrill is a blood mage and Fenris an escaped former slave. While both of them hold views that make them philosophically or potentially dangerous, neither has ever actually acted against Anders.

Now, Anders does argue with Aveline and Sebastian. Repeatedly. He's not shy about stating his opinions and questioning theirs. But notice how the way he argues differs with each character. With Aveline, he appeals to her sense of order and propriety. With Sebastian, he appeals to his sense of righteousness. We see this particularly in Act III, once things have gotten especially dire. And he does start out similarly with Fenris, trying to draw a comparison between mages in the Circles and slaves in Tevinter—a tactic which utterly fails to move Fenris, and Anders drops it pretty quickly.

I think Anders' dialogue with Fenris gets especially nasty a) because Fenris is a rival against whom Anders can afford to vent his anger with less restraint, and b) because Fenris's existence makes Anders feel threatened in an entirely different way than Aveline and Sebastian. Anders knows that the Captain of the Guard and the noble-turned-Chantry-brother are not on his side, and it is in his best interest to be persuasive toward them, but also philosophically they're opposed to him in a way that he finds easy to refute. He is very firm in his convictions that the Circles are unjust and that they are a corruption of what Andraste taught and fought for. He may have little chance of actually persuading Aveline and Sebastian, but he's also in no danger of being persuaded by them. In other words, they may threaten his physical safety and that of other mages, but they do not challenge his core beliefs, his sense of self.

But Fenris does.

Anders has spent most of his life locked up for being a mage, running away and being caught, and subject to profound abuses. Since his final escape and joining with Justice, he has found purpose and hope in fighting for the cause of mage freedom. If his cause is just, then it is worth living for and fighting for, what he has lost he can endure, and what he’s had to do for that cause is justified. If he admits to himself that magic is itself a power that can be abused, that magic has anything to do with the atrocities Tevinter, that calls his purpose into question. If the unchecked use of magic has the potential to create a society just as unjust as the one he knows, that unravels his present idea of justice, which is quite literally part of his identity!

And maybe if this were a different story, Anders' arc would be about confronting those challenges and deciding how to move forward with them. But this isn't that story, because this is a story set in Kirkwall, where the templars' abuses of power over mages are happening right now, right in front of him, and every effort he makes to change that is systematically crushed.

This is really critical to Anders' arc! He is not a character who has spent the whole game achieving his goals and then escalating those goals. Almost everything he has tried to do has failed. And it's really not due to any strategic failing on his part; the Circle is just too powerful. His attempt to save Karl introduces this theme right at the beginning. Anders does his best; he does everything he can. But he is up against forces he cannot stop. Karl is doomed by the narrative so that we can understand what Anders is facing.

And it does not get any better! There's another tumblr post out there about how every companion quest for Anders is basically you go to see how he's doing, and he's doing bad. And it's true! Because things just keep getting worse. His Act II quest "Dissent" gives us a firsthand glimpse of the abuses taking place inside the Circle. "Dissent" is sometimes read as an example of Anders' paranoia, because both the Knight-Commander and the Grand Cleric had rejected Ser Alrik's plan to make all mages tranquil. I don't fully agree with that reading. Anders knows that such a proposal has been drawn up, and he is absolutely correct about that. He just doesn't know it’s been rejected, and frankly from where he’s standing, he has every reason to worry it might not be. Furthermore, Anders tells Hawke that there are templars within the Circle, most notoriously Ser Alrik, who are misusing the Rite of Tranquility even by Circle standards and who enjoy torturing and abusing mages—and then we see exactly that firsthand with Alrik and Ella, so Anders was entirely correct in that case.

By Act III, the Mage Underground has been completely dismantled, the Knight-Commander has openly seized control of Kirkwall, and half of Anders' own social group will still barely admit there's a problem. His ambient dialogue as early as the end of Act II is "I can't go on like this." It's hard not to feel the sheer despair radiating off Anders by the third Act.

His attack on the Chantry is not something he was always planning and working toward. It's a last resort he undertakes because every other avenue has failed. In seven years, he has helped to free individual mages, but he has made no progress toward dismantling or frankly even improving the Circle as a whole; in fact, it's only gotten worse. Now the lives of every mage in the Circle are threatened as Meredith seeks the Right of Annulment for little more than suspicions of blood magic. Individual rescues are not a solution. His written appeals to the public have had little practical effect. If he wants to save Kirkwall's mages, he has very few options left.

And if you listen to the way Anders speaks—if you look at his face after the explosion as he waits for Hawke's response—he is not happy about this. He is not dancing on the ashes. In fact, he looks heartbroken. There is collateral damage from the Chantry explosion and Anders knows there will be and he does not take that lightly. This is foreshadowed very well in a piece of banter with Isabela:

Anders: There is justice in the world. Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people. Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice? Anders: Yes.

Anders accepts this justice. He leaves Hawke out of his plans regardless of whether Hawke would have supported him because he means to accept the consequences for himself. He accepts whatever sentence he is given without resistance.

Regardless of how you feel about Anders' attack on the Chantry (and I'd prefer not to fight with anyone about that here), I recount all of this to make the point that his arc in the game is a long slide into despair and desperation, and for what I think are very understandable reasons. And over these seven years, it's pretty clear that Anders feels increasingly alone in his efforts. He feels like everyone is against him. There are things he feels he cannot tell even Hawke, no matter how supportive Hawke may be, because of Hawke's connections.

These are basically the worst possible conditions for a person to be able to extend patience and empathy to someone of very different experience with whom they are ideologically at odds.

Anders straight up doesn't have any energy, or emotional bandwidth, or whatever you want to call it, left for that. When he says, "I am the cause of mages. There is nothing else inside me," he means it. He is drained—emotionally, spiritually, probably physically, in all possible ways. He is particularly caustic in the back half of the game, and at times says some truly mean and petty things to and about other characters and I will not defend those things, but it is so understandable to me why he gets like this, stretched absolutely to the breaking point and ready to snap.

Anders' journey in Dragon Age II is a tragedy. Depending on the choices Hawke makes, it may not be the end of his story; there is still the possibility that he lives to see a changing world in which he himself can begin, after all these years, to breathe easier, to heal. I think that's going to be a long process, but it is absolutely possible.

Within the timeframe of the game itself, I don't think it is possible for Anders to go on the journey he's on and also figure out how to get along with Fenris. In fact I think those two things are antithetical to each other. Post-game, the world is wide with possibility. But not in the game itself. "Learn how to play well with others" (especially others who are diametrically opposed to everything he believes in) is so emphatically not the story being told with Anders in this game, and the entire climax of the game is built on top of the story it's been telling us with Anders. Because of that, I cannot see "Anders and Fenris become friends" as what could have been or what should have been. It's not just an add-on in this case; it's a change that rewrites the whole story.

Fenris's Journey

Upon arriving in Kirkwall, Fenris's history does at first glance share a lot of commonalities with Anders: he is an escapee who's managed to evade his captors for a few years now, and in Kirkwall he finds reason to settle down, though he is not out of danger yet.

But their paths start to diverge pretty much immediately.

First, let's just acknowledge that Kirkwall is, objectively, a safer city for Fenris than it is for Anders. That's not to say it is truly safe; Danarius is still hunting for Fenris and has connections in Kirkwall, and no human city is particularly safe for elves. Fenris finds himself pursued at some point in every act, culminating with Danarius himself in Act III.

Fenris is, however, much more able to defend himself against hired mobs of slavers operating illegally in the south than a lone apostate is able to defend him against an army of templars who have the backing of the city guard should they decide to actually come for him. Fenris's pursuers do not rule Kirkwall, and they don't have the guard on their side; they do not have a base of operations just a short boat ride away, and they are not sending troops to daily patrol the streets and look for a person of his description.

Had Fenris stayed in Tevinter, that would be exactly his situation, and if Anders had fled north, the templars tracking him would likely have faced more difficulty apprehending him. But this story doesn't take place in Tevinter, it takes place in Kirkwall, and Fenris has some advantage here just by nature of have escaped to the south.

Is Fenris truly safe in Kirkwall? No, and that's the setup for his whole character arc. The critical difference is that Fenris's arc is toward finding safety, while Anders' is not.

Let us note also that there is no one in Hawke's immediate friend group actively threatening to sell Fenris back into slavery. The Captain of the Guard, while she needles him about squatting in Hightown, also does not take the side of slavers. Even the pirate is against the trafficking of people. The only one in that group who has the potential to do such a thing to Fenris is Hawke, and only if Hawke decides to recruit Fenris, pretend to be his friend for seven years (even rivalries are still fundamentally friendships, just more challenging and complicated ones), before selling him out for, at most, a sum that should frankly be an insult to Hawke at that point in their career.

Hawke’s mage companions feel like threats to Fenris, yes, because his life experience has led him to conclude that no mage is truly safe. Anders and Merrill in particular represent the additional dangers of abominations and blood mages, respectively. But Anders’ core convictions pose a particular challenge not only to Fenris’ worldview, but to the very sense of safety he has only just begun to have.

Fenris spent most of his life enslaved and subjected to profound abuses. Since his escape to the south, he has found a sense of safety in the black-and-white concept that mages are dangerous and only non-mages can be trusted. If this is true, it means that in a world where mages are locked up, he can be safe. If what happened to him is, even in a broad sense, not unique to a land ruled by mages, then it could happen anywhere. (And unfortunately, that’s true. The slave trade is alive and well in the south, illegal though it may be, as we see in our many encounters with slavers.) If he admits to himself that many mages are just like him–subject to profound abuse and deserving of freedom—that sense of safety he is building for himself as a free man in the south is shattered. While he is still on the run, actively evading capture, this is not a possibility he is emotionally able to entertain.

It may be said that Fenris’s arc is about learning to let go of his anger; I disagree with that reading, or at least I think it is a very incomplete one. For one thing, it misses the very important point that the person his anger is for is still alive and actively pursuing him for most of the game. It’s easy to take Flemeth’s remark to Fenris, “The chains are broken, but are are you truly free?” as like, a philosophical statement, but no! He literally is not truly free so long as he still has to live as a fugitive, always looking over his shoulder, always waiting for the inevitable. He tells this to Hawke right in Act I: he will never truly be free until Danarius is dead, and if Danarius doesn’t show up eventually, Fenris will go hunt him down himself.

He is angry about this. He carries a deep rage not only for what has been done to him, what has been stolen from him, but also that even now Danarius is still taking from him and fucking up his life. Listen to the fury with which he says, “I was a fool to think I was free,” during “A Bitter Pill” in Act II.

And he needs that anger. Right now, that anger is still protecting him. It gives him the courage, as he says, to “turn and face the tiger.” His hatred of Hadriana compels him to seek her out and kill her rather than running again. And killing Hadriana is absolutely the right decision! There is nothing to be gained from leaving her alive, she certainly doesn’t deserve his mercy, and taking her out of the picture eliminates one more tool Danarius can use against him.

Where this scene shows Fenris’s need for growth is when he then lashes out at Hawke, regardless of their response. His anger isn’t the problem; his anger is valid and necessary. The problem is that it sometimes targets the wrong people: mages generally and his own friends in specific. But until Danarius is dead, Fenris cannot let go of that anger because it is necessary for his survival.

If you’re a Fenris fan, you know that moment in Act III in the Hanged Man, when he’s come to meet Varania and he sees Danarius. The expression on his face when the camera zooms in is nothing like the way he looks at Hadriana, with unfettered rage. The look when he sees Danarius is pure horror. He’s been waiting for this confrontation for ten years, but I think in that moment we realize he has also been terrified of it. He remembers what happened the last time he had a taste of freedom and Danarius came for him, and though he knows he has grown since then, those emotions are still there—the horror of having turned on the people who sheltered him, the shame of realizing how deep his conditioning was, the revulsion at what Danarius had made him. Anger has kept those feelings at a distance, but now, with Danarius before him at last, he must confront them all over again. Only this time, with friends at his back, he will fight.

With Danarius dead, it’s finally over. And whether Fenris chose to kill or spare his sister, he is now forced to confront the person he’s had to be to survive until this point.

The point of Fenris’s restlessness and dissatisfaction following his victory isn’t that killing Danarius was wrong or pointless. On the contrary: we have seen throughout the entire game that there was no other way for him to truly find freedom. At the risk of getting too clinical here, trauma (which includes long periods of unrelenting high stress) tends to leave people with emotions and coping mechanisms that were necessary for their survival at the time but become maladaptive once they are away from their trauma stressors. We have already seen this with Fenris, in the way his anger sometimes targets the wrong people, and Fenris himself is aware of this, at least in his interpersonal relationships: on his own initiative he seeks Hawke out to apologize after lashing out at them. In Act II, I think we even see the early stages of Fenris beginning to extend his circle of empathy after “Dissent,” when instead of calling Anders a monster, he suggests that Anders realize his limitations, adding that it was a suggestion, not a condemnation. I think it helps in that moment that Anders seems to take responsibility for what he did, or almost did, to Ella, even if he understandably does not react well to Fenris’s “suggestion.”

And now that Danarius is dead, Fenris is beginning to realize that while his fight for freedom is over, his path to healing has really just begun. There’s a reason he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with Hawke until Act III, and it isn’t just that intimacy was triggering or the brief recovery of his memories upsetting. Until Danarius is dead, Fenris’s emotional growth really can only go so far, because he is still at least partly stuck in survival mode, and the anger and the blanket concept of “mages dangerous” are coping mechanisms he has developed in order to survive.

With Danarius dead, now Fenris can begin to let go. Now he can go further in examining who deserves his anger and who does not. Now he can begin to truly heal. And can he learn to sympathize with mages one day and stop seeing magic as the ultimate evil? I actually do think the answer is yes. But that’s at least a five-step plan, and his arc in the game is mainly concerned with accomplishing step 2. Step 1 was “Get out of Tevinter.” Step 2 was “make Danarius dead.” The next few steps are a lot less cut and dry, involving a lot of difficult emotional work. He has begun that process, but it’s a work in progress.

With friends to support his journey, I do think Fenris can still come a long way. I just don’t think he could possibly have gotten there before Act III.

Conclusions

Fenris and Anders are on very different journeys over the course of Dragon Age II. They cannot be friends or sympathize with one another in the timeframe of the game, not because they have nothing in common, but because neither of them are in a position to let their guard down in the ways they would have to in order to connect with each other. Neither of them have reached the level of healing they would need in order to do that, and it’s not possible for either of them to reach that point in the journeys they’re on during the game, with the stories the game is telling.

That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not possible for them to reach that point in the future. Under the right circumstances, both of them may have the rest of their lives to heal and to grow.

[scarabsinthestardust]

Better in the Morning // Ch. 11

MASTERLIST

Well, here we are. Time to meet the parents.

Word count: 7300+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Language; talks of depression, suicide, and anxiety; strained parental relationship; talks of crime, murder, drugs/drug cartel, running from the law, and minor talk of sex trafficking (nothing too graphic); mentions of death of a parent; injuries sustained from a shooting, blood, removal of a bullet, stitches (I'm not a medical professional and have zero medical training. I'm making it up as I go.); some probably really bad and vulgar Spanish retrieved per Google and Google translate (and I can't for the life of me figure out how to do the accents so we're just going to ignore that for now); I also might be tiptoeing real close to 'No Country for Old Men' fanfiction 😅

Two and a half years. Two and a half years, countless ups and downs, and I was finally taking the love of my life to see an important part of me, a part of what made me who I am. He was going to get to see where I grew up.

I don’t know what made me want to go back, but when I proposed the idea to Jake, he eagerly jumped at the opportunity. Soon enough, we were packed and on the road to Thomas, West Virginia.

It was about a nine-hour drive from Nashville. Jake tried to convince me to just fly, but I felt like I was due for a good road trip. We could travel at our own pace, and besides, Jake was good company for the drive. Richie had reached out to Vivian, an old family friend, arranging for us to stay with her instead of one of the shitty, middle-of-nowhere hotels (which were few and far between).

Vivian technically lived in Coketon, a coal-mining town just outside of Thomas that was almost abandoned. Mining activity flourished in the early 1900s, and the 15 coal mines in Coketon shipped out a million tons of coal annually. But by the mid to late 1950s, pretty much all underground mining had ceased. Most of the residents left shortly after that, only a few deciding to remain. Vivian’s family was one, not far from where Finn’s family had put down roots.

I spent a good chunk of my childhood at Vivian’s house. It was one of the “safe houses” my dad would drop us off at, Vivian being one of the few people he trusted. It was where I met my best friend, and where I lost my brother. There were a lot of bad memories associated with the place, but enough good to lure me back occasionally. Vivian could be… tough, a little abrasive, but she took care of us when our dad was gone and taught me most of everything I know. I mostly missed the horses. Jake expressed his unease at being that close to a 1,000-pound animal, more so at the idea of trying to ride one.

I smirked. “I will definitely get you on a horse before we come home.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

~

It was almost sundown by the time we turned down the dirt road that would take us to Vivian’s house. The trees on either side of the road loomed darkly, appearing much taller and thicker than the last time I was here. It had been almost five years, after all. Everything still felt so familiar, though, as if I was only here yesterday. The house came into view as we rounded the corner. It hadn’t changed a bit. The two-story brick house with its worn white molding and wrap-around porch had seen a lot, witnessed me and Finn grow up, and Luca not quite make it out.

“It’s a little creepy out here. Quiet.” Jake eyed the thick woods wearily. He had gotten so used to city life in Nashville. This was such a big jump from that.

“At least I’m not freezing my ass off,” I huffed.

“Sounds like a skill issue,” he joked. I narrowed my eyes and poked at his side, causing him to squirm away.

“I’ll remember that.”

As we unloaded our bags from the trunk, I heard the front door creak open. “Glad to see you remember your way here.”

“I wouldn’t ever forget it, V.” I gave her a quick hug. Jake stepped up behind me and I introduced them to each other. Vivian eyed him distrustfully, as I expected, but Jake didn’t seem put off by it and maintained his polite demeanor.

Vivian led us into the house and directed us to the spare room upstairs we’d be staying in. The inside was just as I remembered. A collection of paintings, created by Vivian, decorated the walls over gaudy wallpaper. The ugly blue carpet was still in the bedrooms, and even uglier striped, red carpet covered the stairs, which creaked under our weight. The innards of the house were worn, and needed some serious upgrades in my opinion, but it had good bones. The double bed with the brass headboard had a fresh set of sheets and a yellow floral blanket that was probably older than me. And as outdated and musty as the house was, it was home to me.

After dropping our stuff off and heading back downstairs, Vivian gestured up the stairs with a tilt of her head. “I’ve got one right now, so keep your voices down.” She offered no other information and Jake looked at me quizzically.

“There’s someone else staying here. I’ll explain later.” I pretended I didn’t notice the way Vivian narrowed her eyes at me. She would have been livid if she knew I’d told Jake anything. It was her secret to keep, too. And she didn’t trust him, not yet.

She set the table for dinner and took a plate to whoever was upstairs before we all sat down to eat. We took the time to catch up, her inquiring about Nashville and Richie, and asked after Finn when I told her he’d come to town for a visit. She asked Jake about his career, not bothering to hide the judgement in her eyes when he told her was a musician. All these people I grew up with seemed to think if it didn’t involve physical, manual labor, it wasn’t a ‘real job.’

“Oh, your pa’s gonna love that,” she said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, which earned me a scolding from her. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, girl.” I found it annoying that even as an adult, she still knew how to make me feel like a child that had done something wrong. Jake, on the other hand, was doing his best to hold back his laughter.

Exhausted from the drive, we decided to call it a night after dinner. I filled Jake in as we got ready for bed, keeping my voice down to a whisper. “Viv’s in the business of taking in girls, young women, that don’t have anywhere else to go, or got pulled out of some shitty situation. Chances are, they’re probably traumatized and terrified, a lot of times of men, if you get my drift.”

“Like, victims of sex trafficking?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

He exhaled a puff of air. “Your life just keeps getting more and more interesting.”

“Hah. This one is all Viv.”

“I don’t think she likes me very much,” he said as he got into bed.

I crawled in and snuggled up next to him. “Don’t take it personally. She doesn’t like much of anyone until she gets to know them. She’ll warm up to you.”

“You don’t think your dad would warm up to me eventually?”

I snorted a laugh. “No, because he’s just an asshole. It’s a good thing you won’t have to be subjected to that. At least during this trip.” That wasn’t true, but I didn’t know that yet. I had no idea how much Jake would learn while we were here, much less how much I would learn.

~

We spent most of the next day in town. There wasn’t much to do, but we checked out local shops, got lunch, and I took Jake to the Purple Fiddle Coffeehouse and Market, a staple in the town of Thomas. In the late afternoon, we took a walk around Vivian’s property, showing him all my little hangout spots and secret hideaways.

“That was Finn’s place,” I pointed out the small, now abandoned house. I’d never been inside and had no idea what happened to his parents. Perhaps that was for the best.

There were several pathways through the woods, some of them quite overgrown now. I can pretend I didn’t really know where we were headed, which path led to where, but that would be a lie. I grew up here, under the aspen canopy, weaving between these tree trunks like I was born for it. Maybe some sick part of me needed to see the place again, to remind myself that it was real.

Jake had been talking but he quieted when I stopped walking. “You okay?” He cocked his head.

I didn’t speak right away, worried that my voice might betray the peace of this place. The forest knew death. It had seen it many times over the course of thousands of years. I wonder if the trees remembered it, though, if they remembered his death, or if they heard my scream as it echoed through the leaves. My vision zeroed in on the spot. There wasn’t anything that stuck out, nothing that distinguished it from any other place in this vast expanse of wooded ground, but I knew it. I wouldn’t ever forget it.

“That’s where Luca died,” I whispered.

I heard a sharp inhale of breath from Jake. His hand gently rubbed my arm as he stepped closer to me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I just shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. Jake didn’t push. He guided me to a fallen log nearby and we sat, seemingly understanding what I needed without words. His hand didn’t leave mine. There we stayed, letting the leaves and the light wind do all the talking, us playing the role of mere witnesses, just bystanders.

As the sun sank lower over the horizon, casting deep shadows over us, Jake gently nudged me. “Do you know how to find your way back in the dark?”

It was a genuine question, but I laughed anyways. “Would you be scared if I didn’t?”

“I mean, we could camp out, but you might need to protect me from whatever cryptids live in these creepy ass woods.”

I nudged him back with my shoulder. “What do you think I was doing as a kid running around in the woods at night if not making friends with the cryptids?”

“I dunno, committing crime?”

“A little arson never hurt anyone.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, Josh.”

My hand came to my chest, and I feigned offense. “Well, I never,” I exclaimed with an exaggerated southern accent. Our laughter seemed to fill the empty air around us, drastically lifting my own spirits.

The porch light was on when we made it back to the house. I sighed contently. “She always left the light on for us.” I didn’t miss the scamper of footsteps running up the stairs when we came in the door. I didn’t get a good look at the girl before she closed herself back up in her bedroom, her safe space, I imagine. It was mine, too, on some nights.

~

“Oh, c’mon, he doesn’t bite.”

“That is a blatant lie, and you know it.”

I giggled, slightly menacingly, as Jake eyed the animal in front of him wearily. He reached out slowly to pet it but jumped back when the horse stomped and huffed at him. The stable hand holding onto the lead rope couldn’t hide his amusement. I shrugged and sighed from my spot in the saddle of another horse. “Guess I get to tell your brothers you were too scared to ride a horse with me.”

It was a low blow, taunting him like that, but it was the results that mattered to me. He glared at me. “You’re the worst,” he muttered, before moving to grasp the saddle horn and sticking his foot in the stirrup. He took a deep breath and held it, hoisting himself up and swinging his leg over the other side. When he was confident the horse wasn’t going to bolt or immediately buck him off, he exhaled. “Happy now?”

“Yep!” I beamed at him, ignoring his grumbling. The stable hand adjusted Jake’s stirrups and gave us the okay to ride.

Jake was fidgety and white knuckling the reins, but he started to relax as the ride went on. I’ll go so far as to say he might have started enjoying himself a little bit. I even caught him talking to his horse once or twice, little admonitions of praise.

“So, what do you think, grumpy gills? Think I could talk you into doing this more often?”

“I could perhaps be persuaded,” he said as he winked.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure there’s lots of places around Nashville we could ride. Maybe we can make it a regular thing?”

“Sure. And with enough practice I’ll be riding circles around you in no time.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “You’d have to catch up to me first.” I spurred my horse to run ahead, wondering if he’d be brave enough to commence the chase. After a few moments, he finally did, and I heard the patter of his horse trotting up behind me.

We slowed to a stop at the edge of a creek, and I laughed at the grimace on Jake’s face. “That is… fuck, that hurts.” He fidgeted in the saddle, adjusting to get more comfortable.

“Oh, just wait until after. You won’t be able to walk straight for the rest of the day.”

“Thanks for the warning,” he mumbled. At my smug look, he said, “Payback’s a bitch, babe.” I huffed in faux offense.

We took our time finishing up the trail, which looped around and led us back to the stables. I snickered as Jake attempted to walk, his legs and rear end sore from the saddle. I felt it, too, having gone so long without riding, but my stubbornness would never let me admit it to him. Before getting back in the car, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. “Thank you for making me come do this. I really did have a good time.”

~

I was woken up to the sound of a door slamming down the hallway. At the sound of cabinets being slammed downstairs I sat up, listening. Jake reached out for me and mumbled sleepily, “What’s goin’ on?”

I checked the time on my phone; it was a little after midnight. “I don’t…” I got out of bed and padded to the door to listen closer. I wasn’t hearing as much noise, but could hear Vivian’s voice, along with a man’s, a voice that was unfortunately all too familiar. “Shit.” I turned on the lamp and hurriedly threw on some clothes. Jake started to do the same and asked me again what was happening. I was suddenly very worried; I did not sign up for this. “I think my dad’s here. And if he’s here, then something’s wrong. Just… stay here.”

Vivian was bustling around in the kitchen gathering supplies. “Good, you’re up. You can help. My hands ain’t as steady as they used to be. Wash your hands.”

I didn’t argue or ask questions. I knew better than that. The living room light was on, and I silently prepared myself for what I might find.

My father sat in the light, shirt off, his arm awkwardly bent to hold a bloodied towel on a spot just below his left shoulder blade. His hair was longer, but he didn’t look much different than the last time I saw him. He also didn’t seem surprised to see me; Vivian probably already told him I was here. Whether or not she told him about Jake was still unclear.

“Mija.” He nodded at me. He never was one for heartfelt greetings or hugs.

I sighed, moving to his side and pulling away the towel to examine the wound. “Bullet?”

“Still there.” If he could take care of a wound himself, he would do it. But this was in a hard-to-reach place, so it made sense he would need help. The problem was that there weren’t a lot of people he trusted to help, so he would suffer as long of a drive as he needed until he reached one of his “safe spaces.”

“How long?”

“Four hours.”

That checked out. Infection was already starting to set in the edges of the injury, redness and inflammation spreading, but it wasn’t necrotic or life-threatening. Yet. Judging from the fact he drove all the way here (from wherever) and was still awake and alert, it was safe to say the bullet missed anything important. He was always lucky like that. I pulled out some of the supplies Vivian had already brought out and set to work removing the bullet. I’m sure the act of digging around with the forceps was painful, but he didn’t make a sound. He never did.

I was so focused on the task in front of me that I didn’t hear the creak of the stairs as someone came down, and I didn’t hear Vivian’s voice as she addressed them. I know I told Jake to stay put, but he either didn’t hear me in his half-asleep state or chose to blatantly ignore me. I’m gunning for the latter. Dad tensed up, and it wasn’t because of pain from the bullet I finally found and was carefully removing. I followed his eyes as they focused on the man he didn’t recognize, hackles raised and on guard.

“Can I do anything?”

Bless him. Despite the whole situation probably being unsettling, Jake was still here with me, offering his help. He got plenty of brownie points for not freaking out. With the bullet out, all I had to do was clean and stitch up the wound. “No but thank you.” I offered him a soft smile. Everything was under control. Except for the fact that Dad was staring daggers at him, and that was just how he handled strangers. We hadn’t even crossed the ‘discussing my relationship’ threshold yet.

“Dad,” I started cautiously. “This is Jake.” Bite the bullet, no pun intended, get it over with. “He’s my boyfriend, and I trust him. Jake, this is my dad, Antonio.”

Jake kept his distance, but wanting to be polite, as he usually is, said, “Nice to finally meet you. Wish the circumstances were a little different.”

“Give me one good reason I don’t gut you like a fucking trout.”

I was suddenly feeling very protective. I pressed my thumb as hard as I could into the edge of the bullet hole I had begun to stitch up. He hissed at the unexpected feeling and turned to shoot me a glare. “Knock it the fuck off,” I growled through gritted teeth. “You don’t get to show up out of the blue after however many years and be an asshole. Especially not to him.”

Of course, my father was incapable of knowing when to move on or walk away from a fight. And God forbid he actually apologize for anything. “Se ve como un imbecil. Pelegatos.”

“Yeah, real classy,” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “You can’t even insult him to his face, in English.”

“Que te la pique un pollo,” he spat at Jake. I’m sure he could figure out it was an insult, even without understanding Spanish, but he didn’t shoot back any retorts, which I was grateful for. It only would have exacerbated the situation.

I jabbed another finger close to his wound, careful not to mess up my stitch job. “I said knock it off. Unless you want to stitch yourself up. I love him, whether you like it or not. So, get over it. The least you can do is be civil.”

He mumbled something else, no doubt another insult, but I stopped listening, and cut him off with a frustrated yell. I stomped my foot, much like a petulant child, and jammed the needle into the next appropriate spot, leaving it there. “Viv! I need you to finish this before I kill him!”

She quickly took my place, shaking her head. “You two…”

“He’s the one acting like a fucking child!” Everything felt too confined, too bright, too loud. The air felt thick, and my chest tightened with anxiety. I needed out. I rushed out the front door without another word. Jake followed. I paced back and forth, my fists balled up tightly as I tried to focus on the wood creaking beneath my bare feet. “He’s so insufferable! Can’t even pretend to act like an adult for two fucking seconds! He thinks he’s so tough ‘cause he can go out and get shot! It’s probably his own fucking fault, probably was being reckless because he thinks he’s invincible or something. Then he shows up out of the blue with a bullet lodged in his shoulder and has the fucking audacity to talk to you like that? What gives him the right? What is he gonna do the next time he gets hurt? His luck will run out eventually. You’d think he’d be a little more conscious of the fact that he faces death every single day, that any one of these days will be the last time we get to talk to each other, to see each other. But instead of just accepting that and just, I don’t know, being happy for me, for once in my life, that I found someone that makes me happy, he has to act like a fucking animal!”

Jake reached out and grabbed my arms, forcing me to stop my pacing and rambling. “Hey, hey, just breathe for a second, babe.” He gently placed his hands on my cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away tears I didn’t even realize I’d been crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to meet him ‘cause I knew he was gonna be like that.”

“Shh. You don’t need to apologize. He’s an ass, but I don’t think that’s what this is really about.”

“He just makes me so mad, and-“

“I think you’re afraid of losing him.”

Well, that was absurd. “What? That’s not… what are you talking about?” I stared at him, blinking away tears as I tried to process what he was saying.

“You’re mad at him for acting like a dick, I get that. But is it possible that you’re upset he got hurt? I mean, he got shot. That’s a big deal. I… maybe that’s nothing new for you. If I had to take a guess, you’ve probably seen it a hundred times. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be worried about him.”

“You’re insane,” I mumbled.

“Am I wrong, though?”

He wasn’t. I always worried, it was just my nature. Every time Dad got hurt, I always worried if this would be it; each bullet, each stab wound, each broken bone threatened to be the one that would take him out. Life is never a guarantee, but death seemed to taunt him, dangling the thread of fate in front of his face as a warning. You’re next. Most children don’t think of death often, much less worry about it creeping up on them. We weren’t most children. I don’t remember losing my mom, but when it took Luca, I realized how close it was. Death rode our trail like the dust I kicked up on the dirt roads I ran down. Every time the phone rang, I imagined it was someone calling to tell Vivian “Antonio’s dead. He isn’t coming back for his daughter.” Realistically, there probably wouldn’t even be a phone call. He just wouldn’t come home, and we would know.

I fell forward, burying my face in Jake’s chest. “He used to be so good at it, whatever he did. And smart. Or maybe it was just dumb luck. But now it seems like every time I see him, he’s hurt again. And it scares me.” That last sentence I whispered. It made my heart clench. I pulled away and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “And for once I would like to have a nice conversation, without him threatening my boyfriend’s life.”

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle it.” He nudged me toward the door. “Go talk to him. Say what you need to say. I’ll give you some space.”

I sighed. “You know I hate it when you’re right.”

He smirked. “But you love me anyways.”

“I do,” I grumbled as I wrapped my arms around him again. “I really am sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not going to let him scare me off. Other than threatening to gut me like a fish, I don’t even know what he said.”

“And I absolutely won’t be repeating it.”

“Pft. I’ll get it out of you eventually. But for now, go talk to your dad. I’ll wait for you upstairs.” He planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Thank you, Jake.”

I led him back inside and gave my hand one more reassuring squeeze before parting to walk back upstairs. I waited until I heard the door shut to approach my dad.

He was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, while he spoke quietly to Vivian. They both went silent when they saw me. Vivian didn’t speak; she didn’t have to. She shot me a look that said, “Figure it out,” and left us alone.

I crossed my arms and looked around at anything other than him. In a perfect world, I’d wait for an apology, and we’d make up, but as I mentioned before, my father never apologizes for anything. And maybe it’s my inherited stubbornness, but I certainly wasn’t going to apologize to him; I didn’t do anything wrong. So instead, I would just wait for him to say something that would inevitably piss me off all over again.

“I don’t like him.”

“You don’t like anyone.”

“I don’t think he’s good for you, mija.”

“You don’t even know him. And how would you know what’s good for me, anyways? You haven’t been around enough to know I even had a boyfriend, and we’ve been together for over two years.” He seemed to ponder that for a moment. “Yeah, I haven’t seen you in over four years. Let that sink in.”

“It has to be like that, sometimes. You know that.”

“Still wouldn’t kill you to check in every once in a while, let me know you’re okay.”

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Clearly someone does!” I gestured toward him and his freshly stitched up bullet wound.

“It isn’t your responsibility, it never was. I taught you to take care of yourself only. And that also means not relying on some bastardo."

“It’s not about relying on anyone. I found someone that makes me happy, happier than I’d been in a long time. I found somebody that I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, and I want that with Jake. He sees me for me, not just some weird, damaged girl with a fucked-up childhood and without an actual family. Shit, even his family made me feel loved. His mother texts me more than you do! So, you don’t get to decide if he’s ‘good’ for me. I love him, dad. I know you know what that’s like because you loved my mom at some point, right?”

His jaw tensed and he avoided my eyes. “Don’t,” he warned.

“Don’t what? Is it so wrong of me to want to talk about her? My entire life you’ve done nothing but shut down when I try.”

“Let it go, Kya.”

“No! Stop fucking shutting me out! I can’t talk about mom; I can’t talk about Luca.” His breath hitched when I said my brother’s name. “I’m not asking you to be some perfect, therapeutic, emotionally available well of information, because I know that isn’t you. I just… sometimes I just want my dad. I know it hurts to talk about her, just like it hurts me to talk about Luca, but it feels worse to keep everything bottled up like that.” I rubbed my upper arms nervously. “Jake’s the first person I’ve talked to about Luca, outside of Finn or Vivian.” The fact that it was technically Josh I told first was irrelevant to this conversation. There was no need to introduce more strangers to my dad right now.

“Cuanto sabe el?”

He wasn’t just talking about Luca. He wanted to know how much Jake knew about him and his career. “Not much. Not enough for it to be a problem.”

“I don’t-“

“Trust him, I know. But I do, so just maybe you can trust me for now.” For some reason, I felt the need to reiterate, “I’m not a little kid anymore.”

He stayed silent except for the deep breath he took in. He never was great at handling confrontation, at least when it came from me. In his line of work, he could typically deal with it via some kind of violence. He would choose to die before ever hurting me in that way, so that option was off the table. I don’t think he had ever even raised his voice at me. Instead, he’d struggle to find the words until he gave up, shut down, and walked away, leaving me back at square one. I don’t know why I expected anything different tonight.

His expression was unreadable when he looked at me. “You should go get some sleep.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, so you can disappear before I wake up to avoid talking about anything. I’d bet money you won’t even say goodbye.”

It was then that I noticed how tired he looked. The dark circles under his eyes seemed more prominent than I remembered, and the air of arrogance and confidence he normally carried with him almost seemed completely dissipated. I tried not to dwell on it too much, blaming it solely on the late hour, his injury, and the amount of time that had passed since I’d last seen him. He stepped forward, held my face between his palms, and leaned in to kiss my forehead. “We’ll talk in the morning.” And with that, he walked away, leaving me standing in the kitchen, alone and dumbfounded. Did he mean that, or was it just another empty promise that would be broken by morning?

I’m sure it wasn’t for lack of trying to stay up, but Jake had fallen asleep by the time I made it back upstairs. I managed to get back into bed without waking him. I laid there in the dark, listening to his steady breaths until my thoughts finally quieted enough for sleep to take me, too.

~

Jake wasn’t there when I woke up, and the sun pouring in through the curtains seemed exceptionally bright. I checked the time on my phone and groaned; it was almost noon. I forced myself out of bed, and after a quick shower made my way downstairs.

“Well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence.” Vivian was bustling around in the kitchen, cleaning things up as she went. Jake was helping prepare lunch. He smiled sweetly and greeted me good morning.

“Sorry, guess I just really needed that beauty sleep. I… oh, hello.” I didn’t notice her at first, the unfamiliar face sitting at the table. She was quiet, and I imagine really good at making herself seem small. Dirty blonde curls hung messily in her face, nearly concealing her eyes. She couldn’t have been more than 14 or 15. She had significant bruising on her wrists and neck, giving me an idea of what she went through, and also letting me know she hadn’t been here very long. “I’m Kya.” I kept my voice low and movements slow as I introduced myself and sat at the table.

She didn’t panic and bolt up the stairs to safety, so that was a good sign, but she avoided my eyes. “Sara,” she whispered.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sara.” In my experience and based on all the trauma this girl had obviously been through, it was better to let her come to me and call the shots. She would talk when she was ready, and nobody liked forced conversation and small talk. I glanced around the kitchen and into the living room, not sure what I was looking for or what to expect.

“He hasn’t left yet,” Vivian said. She never missed a beat. “He’s outside, I think. After you eat, you can go find him.” I wondered if dad had said anything to her about our conversation the night before.

Jake waited until we had a minute alone after lunch to ask how things went last night.

“About as good as I expected, I guess. In other words, I got absolutely nowhere.”

“Well, he didn’t threaten my life when I saw him this morning, so maybe you made some progress.”

“I’m shocked,” I laughed and rolled my eyes. “He said we could talk more today, so I’m gonna go corner him and see if I can’t hold him to that. Before he disappears again.”

“You’ve got this, babe. And I’m sure Vivian will find something to keep me busy with.”

“She absolutely will,” I grinned, hugging him and stealing a kiss before venturing out to find my dad.

At the northernmost edge of the property, there was a trunk from an old oak tree laid across the ground. That tree had been there before any of us, like an ancient forest spirit watching over the land it casted shadows across. Then one night when I was eight, a storm rolled through. I remember being fascinated by the flashes of lightning and rolling thunder, harmonizing with the heavy pelting of rain against the windows. We lit a bunch of candles after the power went out. Most kids would have been afraid. Finn hated storms when we were kids; he would hide in the closet until it passed. But I thought it was beautiful. I liked to think the sky sent the rain to clean the earth up a little, and that it would wash away all the bad stuff that haunted us.

It was during that storm the oak tree decided it had enough, and it couldn’t fight to stay strong anymore. It shook the entire house when it fell, shook it so hard I thought there was an earthquake. The next morning, while we surveyed the damage, I studied the splintered wood and the torn roots sticking up from the soil, and I felt… sad. I remember putting my hand on the rough bark and apologizing like it was a person. “I’m sorry it got too hard.” I didn’t understand at the time how much I would relate that oak tree to Luca, and eventually my mother, too.

My dad was seated on the fallen trunk, like we did often as kids. Luca spent a lot of time there; I think the sounds of the woods quieted the noises in his mind. I took a seat next to my dad, waiting to see if it would quiet my mind, too.

“He has an accent.”

That was a weird way to start a line of questioning about Jake, but I’d play ball. “He’s from Michigan.”

“How did you find him?”

“He came into Richie’s shop.”

Dad let out an exasperated sign. “Don’t tell me he’s a musician.”

“He is, and he’s a very good one. He plays guitar for a band. They have three albums and play sold out shows all over the world.”

“That isn’t a real job. It isn’t stable-“

“And working for a drug cartel is?”

“Kya,” he started. “I only want you to be taken care of.”

“He takes plenty good care of me,” I huffed. My next words came out before I could stop them. “Did my mom know what you do, who you are? Or did you shut her out, too?”

The silence that followed was deafening. I didn’t expect an answer, much less any kind of explanation, but after what felt like an eternity, he spoke. “Yes, she knew everything. I never told you how we met, have I?”

I stared at him, wide-eyed and confused. Who even are you right now? “No, you never told me much of anything.”

“She killed a man.” I’m sorry, what? “A preacher that was hurting children.” I didn’t need any clarification on what that meant. “I was in custody when they brought her in. She fought them every step of the way. She wasn’t afraid, and she was full of fire. I was intrigued, so when I left, I took her with me.”

“How’d you get her out?” I’m sure the details were nothing good. Richie once told me that when my dad was younger, he would let himself get arrested on purpose, just to see how long it would take for him to get out again. It was all a game to him. At least, it was before he became a father, and everything changed. When I first read ‘No Country for Old Men,’ I swore Cormac McCarthy wrote it about my father. Even the names were similar.

To answer my question, he said, “It was a different time in a small town, and much easier than it is now.” And he was good at running from the law.

“Did you… kidnap her?” I asked through narrowed eyes. I don’t know why I asked. I know he had done a lot of bad things, but I didn’t really think he would have done that. He was a criminal, a killer, but he had some morals.

He chuckled, an actual laugh. This was so surreal. Maybe these years apart changed him somehow. “No one could make your mother do anything she didn’t want to do. You’re a lot like her in that regard. She could have left whenever she wanted, but she chose to stay.” He sighed sadly. “She was a good mother, and she loved you.”

Now why did he have to go and say that? My eyes welled up with tears and I looked away to hide them. “What happened to her? I’ve only ever been told she got sick,” I whispered, barely audible. The quiet that followed made me wonder if he even heard me. I thought I’d cut my losses and be grateful for what he did give me, but then he surprised me once again.

“She did, and I couldn’t… she was sick, like Luca.”

I didn’t expect that, and I was suddenly feeling extremely nauseous. “How did she…?”

“It doesn’t matter how.”

“Tell me.” I’m not sure why I needed to know so badly. Knowing the gory details wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring her back. But still I pushed him until he caved. This was the most progress I’d made with him my entire life; I didn’t want to give up yet. “Please, just tell me what happened to her.”

He took a deep breath and straightened his spine, steeling himself. “She drowned. Whitecap in Corpus Christi. She went out into the ocean and kept going, until she couldn’t get back. She let the waves take her.”

My head was spinning now, and I had more questions but couldn’t figure out how to ask them. As the quiet settled between us again, my mind started to wander down a darker path, one of anger. He knew. He knew mom was sick, he saw what it did to her, and yet he still abandoned Luca when he was in trouble. He let this happen, left me to deal with it alone.

“Did you see it happen?” I asked, not waiting for his response. “Because I saw Luca die. I saw it happen right in front of me and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop him. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t… why weren’t you here?”

“You’re strong, Kya. You always have been. You didn’t need me.”

“I was a kid for fuck’s sake! I was a kid who just watched her brother die, and who needed her dad! But you weren’t there.”

He clenched his jaw but didn’t respond. I didn’t expect him to say he was sorry or feed me some line of bullshit about wishing he could go back and do things differently. Every single choice he made in his life was thought-out and meticulous. It’s just that most of those decisions were made for him, not anyone else. I know he cared about me, on some level, in his own backwards way, but he made it so easy to be angry with him, to blame him for all the shitty, horrible things that happened to me.

The last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry. I spared him one last glance, one more opportunity to say something, before standing to walk away. I’d only gotten a few steps when he called my name. I stopped but refused to turn around and face him again.

“I am proud of you, Kya, who you’ve grown up to be. She would be proud, too.”

I squeezed my eyes shut to fight the onslaught of tears. It didn’t help, and his words did nothing to take the pain away. He didn’t try to stop me as I continued the trek back to the house.

By the time I made it back, I forced myself to stop crying but I’m sure I’d rubbed my eyes raw. Vivian was outside doing some work in her garden. She saw me as I walked by, but she didn’t say anything. She knew how conversations with my father usually ended; she was used to the tears.

I found Jake in the living room, seated on the floor by the coffee table, playing a board game with Sara. It surprised me to see her not only opting to sit in here with a man she didn’t know, but also letting herself have fun. It wasn’t lost on me that there was no way in hell Vivian would have left them alone if she didn’t trust Jake.

I watched them for a minute, how he seemed to connect with her so easily. She clearly felt some sense of safety with him, otherwise she wouldn’t be here. He made her laugh so effortlessly, like it came naturally to him. He’s going to make a good dad, someday.

When Jake realized I was there, he beamed at me. “Hey! Wanna join us for a game? We-“ His face fell once he got a good look at me and how red my eyes were. He pulled himself off the floor and came to me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” I offered a weak smile. Part of me just wanted to take a nap; I was emotionally exhausted. But I didn’t want to worry him, so I sucked it up and pulled myself together. “I’ll tell you later, I promise. For now, I’ll take you up on the offer. What are we playing?”

~

Things were bittersweet when the time came to make our departure. We were ready to get home, but I always missed West Virginia when I was gone. It was my first real home and would always have a special place in my heart, even when I was hundreds of miles away.

Vivian was never big on heartfelt goodbyes, so she made it short and sweet. “Drive safe. And don’t forget to come back one day, ya hear?” Even Sara waved her quiet goodbye from the safety of the porch.

My dad, of course, left sometime in the middle of the night. I tried to push down the hurt; he didn’t bother to tell anyone he was leaving. What a surprise. Our conversation was still fresh in my mind, creating newly opened wounds I would need to work through. But as always, I would push it down, and bottle it up, at least until I saw him again in a few years.

I gripped Jake’s hand as I said a silent farewell to the memories that filled this place.

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