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greenflamedwriter · 7 months ago

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I know you | Bingyuan

Story Prompt:

Imagine if Shen Yuan went to sleep, after reading PIDW and ended up IN PIDW, he thinks he's dreaming [but he's just astral projecting]

And he ends up seeing Binghe and helps him.

Yeah he thinks he's lost it, and each time he helps Binghe he decides to write a journel about it and began to write fanfiction of PIDW of a spirit guiding Binghe and people like that MORE than the canon material-

So anyway. he appears when Binghe is three and ends up talking to him and cheering him up. Then he goes forward and ends up when Binghe is a little older.

Binghe likes this gege until his mother laughs, "Ah Binghe are you playing?"

"Yeah this is Shen Yuan!"

Instead of greeting his strange friend with his short hair and weird clothes she only chuckled "You and your imagination come on and help with the chores."

Shen Yuan hummed "She can't see me."

Luo Binghe gazes at him in horror and Shen Yuan blanches "I'm not a ghost!"

But as he sleeps and appears again, he see's the washer women take all of her savings and see's the excitment on her face-

"Binghe do me a favour, tell your mother there are some weirdos in town selling false goods for triple the price."

Luo Binghe told her and she faltered before smiling, "If that was true, they would be run out."

Shen Yuan knew what would happen, then they wouldn't have enough money for medicine then she couldn't work, and when she couldn't work she won't be payed.

Shen Yuan followed her,

...and when she questioned the man at the stall he raised his voice, "Hah? Are you causing trouble?"

Shen Yuan couldn't take it when she stammered and almost payed extra-

He tried to pull her back, but with one touch, he blinked as suddenly he was gazing down at the man-

"Well?"

Shen Yuan huffed as he raised a pale hand and picked up the fake jade "If this was real, then it wouldn't be damaged hmm?" The mans eyes widened as Shen Yuan struck.

And of course, a chip appeared in the Jade Amulet.

The man mouth fell open and the other denizens stared speechless.

"This is supposed to be authentic jade? What do you see?"

"Y-you damaged it- you'll have to pay more than that!"

"A real jade wouldn't scratch. So if you admit to the damage then you admit to the authenciticty." She placed a hand on her hip hand still clutching the jade looking down on him.

"And this one deserves a discount. This one is marked," She turned to the man next to her "See?"

The man nodded "Hmm hmm. That is one big chip-"

"I payed full price!"

All of a sudden a stir erupted, the women dropped a tiny coin, barely change and walked off with her prize.

Shen Yuan walked a few ways ahead, panicking.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean to- I'll try to let go."

It wasn't until they got home, hearing Luo Binghe play, Shen Yuan inhaled and tried to relax, clear his mind and leeett-

She cried out falling backwards, alerting Binghe.

"Mama!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

Luo Binghe gave him a dark glare that trapped the words in his throat, "What did you do!?" He cradled his mother glaring at Shen Yuan.

"Binghe? y-your imaginary friend-"

"He won't hurt you anymore Mama-"

"No no it- it was a shock...he didn't mean to, he was just as scared as I was."

Luo Binghe blinked, surprised. "It was awful, losing control of my body but...I felt strong." Her voice filled with emotion then she started crying.

Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan felt more worried, after they went inside, and she was given tea she explained everything that would happen and gazed at the Amulet sadly.

"I wanted to get you a real one."

"Not worth it,"

Luo Binghe glanced at him, and his mother leaned close, "What did he say?"

Luo Binghe looked to Shen Yuan who sighed, "A real Amulet means nothing, you can't eat it or plant it to grow food. And your mother almost lost her life savings to it- a harsh winter is coming and if either of you fall sick you won't pay for a doctor."

After relaying the message tears sprung to her eyes.

"An angel."

"Or a ghost,"

Shen Yuan fidgeted uncomfortable, "I promise I won't do it again," The mother shook her head "Only in dire situations will I allow it. You saved us." Shen Yuan flushed looking away and Binghe beamed, for a moment he thought he lost his friend.

But now he knows he wasn't crazy!

____________

Shen Yuan posseses one of Binghes bullys chasing the others off hands on his hips.

"S-Shen Yuan?"

He turned beaming "Yep!"

"Play with me!" Luo Binghe pulled his arm and Shen Yuan allowed himself, after all, Binghe didn't have any friends and...Shen Yuan never had much friends either-

Being the son of the well renowned Shen Family, his social circle was small.

So playing tag and hide and seek, and other such things he felt like he was living out the childhood he never had. As they went home, the mother looked concerned to see the son of one of the lords behind Binghe.

"Mama it's Shen Yuan!"

He bowed, "Nice to finally make your aqquiantence ma'm."

Instead she placed her hands on her hips, "Shen Yuan. Are you possesing a child right now?"

He paused, "Uh yeah?"

"Undo it right now, that poor boy is probably having the fright of his life. How would you feel if someone took over your body?"

"Pretty bad."

"Yes, now let him go-"

"i uh- not here, he'll think your practising demonic cultivation, I'll take him home."

She hummed, "Be quick." its like he was having a lecture from a real mother.

Of course...things didn't go to plan.

Shen Yuan did plan on taking the boy home but...

He decided to walk towards the river, rousing the spirit to wake up and hear and understand what he was about to say.

"If you bully Binghe ever again, I'll make you hurt yourself." He stepped into the water, the water calmly pushing against his legs, but the further in he'll get the worse it'll be.

"I could drown you right now," His hands were trembling, the boys fear.

"Don't bother them ever again." He let go with a snap, wanting to make it awful. The kid began to bawl and started crying when he ran home.

What he was saving his life! Binghe repays those tenfold, now he won't have such a problem!

____________________________________________

Shen Yuan decides to teach Luo Binghe how to read and write, then decided to teach him how to book bind. "If you make Bestiarys, you can sell them. They are priceless, say your father was a cultivator and left notes behind it has just been officially edited for final print, teach your mother too."

And both were bemused how Shen Yuan taught them and soon they began to use the money that would've been wasted on materials to make their own copies.

Luo Binghe absorbed everything like a sponge, but he was nearing the proper age.

"Binghe should learn to cultivate, it'd be better if we moved."

"We?" Even the mother who was cooking, listened as Binghe was the translator.

"Yes, travel and sell the books, be closer to Cang Qiong mountain while Luo Binghe trains, I have taught him everything I know- but cultivating and learning the fundamentals is not my expertise." Although if he could get to the mountain and spy he COULD.

"Mama should we go- the townspeople have already bought all of our copies of the Bestiarys, there's nothing else to sell." She hummed then nodded, the thought of going back to washing dyed clothes was not something she wanted to do.

"Yes, maybe we should leave."

"Tell your mother to dress as a man, a women and child traveling will cause trouble."

When Shen Yuan woke up- he did not know he was ACTUALLY in PIDW and changing Binghes life.

The mother saw Luo Binghe's disapointed look it seems as if Shen Yuan has left.

"Mama do you think he's a demon?"

Possesing people, and having so much knowledge did seem demonic...but...teaching them to be independent, sharing the knowledge and even making Luo Binghe a cultivator.

Didn't seem like something a malevolant spirit would want.

"He may be a heavenly official."

Luo Binghe brightened, "Why is he helping us?"

Well the Heavenly Official seemed especially fond of Binghe, who knows.

________________________________________________

And so continuing on, thats when Binghes mother, later known as Qian Xuan [Note I first wrote Xuan Qiran and thought is that even a good name???? then google was like QIan Xuan was a scholar- and I'm like YES that one]

She had decided that once Luo Binghe begins cultivating, how on earth was she and Shen Yuan supposed to communicate? So she decided that she would allow him to posess her during that time.

Shen Yuan blinked as she sat before him trying to look him in the eye when she couldn't see him.

"Only when nessecary, such as creating the manuals or documenting beasts or flora, and once that task is done Shen Yuan should create diraries or messages for this one to follow."

Shen Yuan glanced at Binghe, then back to his mother- who in the story should be dead by now.

Shen Yuan opened then closed his mouth.

"She's aware I'm a man right? it just- doesn't seem right for a man to posess a women," Shen Yuan looked so uncomfortable and when Binghe translated she laughed.

"It's fine, it's not like there's any virtue to lose it's just for little tasks and to communicate with one another. We can't rely on Binghe being our translator all the time."

Shen Yuan sighed then nodded "Tell her if she feels uncomfortable at any point she can say no."

She smiled, "See? How can I not trust you when you are so kind?"

Luo Binghe watched Shen Yuans face flush scarlet, then looked away pretending it didn't happen. Shen Yuan couldn't help but think if he was a suspicious person how easy it would be to take advantage then again, if this was real having the protagonist being indebted to him would be seen as manipulation.

But Shen Yuan wasn't getting thing out of this dream other than a really good fanfiction once he woke up!

And so they began their journey, they thought Shen Yuan would act as their body guard when faced with monsters hah! as if, he was a recluse and has never fought in his life!

So of course when they were apprehended by bandits, because of COURSE THEY WERE-

Shen Yuan thought he lead them to their death! Thankfully he picked up some pollen, that put demons to sleep, it was wife #40 did to Binghe for um...dubvious purposes, so when all the demons fell into a slump that was one thing-

But seeing some still standing was another as he realised that they had human demonic cultivators in their party! THis was a bit overkill wasn't it just for some petty thieves in the night!?

As both Qian Xuan and Luo Binghe began to run for their lives, Shen Yuan realised belatedly he could possess them!

So he leapt into one bandit, stabbing his comrade then jumped into another one, and kept repeating.

"Hey what are you doing!?" Of course they weren't going to stand their nicely while being attacked by their own men, and Shen Yuan of course didn't know how to kill them fataly, their cultivation healed them dammit!

And he lost the surprise, so after jumping into another cultivator realised he was going to have to go the extreme. All the demonic cultivators watched in horror as one slit his own throat screaming in agony.

"What the hell!?" Soon they stopped pursuing Binghe and his mother, while Shen Yuan jumped into another, that was awful, and he felt it, ugh and he was going to have to do it again.

"WHose doing that-"

"A ghost!?"

They looked pretty spooked, especially as another did the same thing soon their was only four left.

"L-lets get out of here,"

"Just exorsise it!" Shen Yuan had no idea if it would work, and panicked jumping into the man holding up a talisman ripping it in two and laughed as creepy as he could.

"You think petty tricks like this would work on me?" He slowly slit the throat eyes forced into a grin, as the body slumped Shen Yuan almost cackled to see how spooked they were!

"That family is under my protection! Suffer the consequences!" As they fell only one more remained, looking shit terrified as his final brother in demonic cultivation stood above him raising his own sword against him.

"Do you want me to do the honours? Or do you want to put yourself out of your own misery?"

The man shook and raised his own blade ending his life quickly. Shen Yuan blinked, oh he didn't think he could do it. He grunted as he felt the one he was possesing fight back, "Oh your still alive in there?" Shen Yuan hummed, finding the weapon in his hand twirling easily, just from muscle memory alone he began to experiment and realised he suddenly knew how to wield the blade, he could tap into the memories and muscle memory of the stance.

He could protect them with this body-

That train of thought was immedietly shut down as he staggared to his knees. "Hmm, I don't feel like keeping you anyway," He spoke to his hands flexing them. "Your a demonic Cultivator, your reputation may make things more difficult along the way." And he now knew how to kill people lethally and non-lethaly.

"Be thankful, I had no idea how to kill someone painlessly, so your better of than your comrades."

His mouth stuttered as it forced itself open, this body was strong-

"Who are you?" The man asked, and Shen Yuan raised his weapon thinking one thought as he plunged it into the heart.

"Peerless Cucumber."

As he joined up with both Binghe and his mother he told them it was all good! And so they continued on their journey, but decided it was safer during the day. Still periless in the world of PIDW but a 'little' safer.

_________________________________________________________

As both Shen Yuan and Qian Xuan watched Luo Binghe go up the mountain, looking clean and healthy, not the starved child he was supposed to be, and both were teary eyed.

"Ah our bun is all grown up."

Stop crying, Shen Yuan. Binghe's mother spoke and he hated to admit but the whole sobbing mess was all him. "Shh, don't let him know, he'll think it's all you." She waved him off then returned to their home.

Shen Yuan had to haggle the price as the realtor was obviously thinking a mother with a child would be desperate, but Shen Yuan put his foot down. After being a ghost and listening to the prices the man gave to other citezens his quote was drastically different. Shen Yuan refused and after showing the money that they had earned on the road the mans eyes bulged and then began to change his tune at the thought of losing out on so much money. After all better someone pays for a room, rather than no one paying for a room period.

And so she got to work, by printing.

Shen Yuan tried this once at a workshop his University was hosting and to say he hated it would be an understatment, Germany had these floor tiles [very flammable and toxic] but they were great for carving after trying himself it wasn't fun. But now the fact that they were in the past in China, Shen Yuan found himself carving illustrations and words to reprint their manuals, Qian Xuan wiped her forehead, she had deliveries for so many smaller sects. "We should have a name, afterall-" Qian Xuan spoke, "It's not like I'm the one who wrote this."

Hmmm, "Maybe Peerless Cucumber? It's a title I go by back home." Qian Xuan paused then continued on, Peerless Cucumber? So he was a heavenly official! and such a renowned title too!

"Okay, we'll use that title and claim it was Luo Binghe's father if anyone asks," She nodded that was a good plan.

___________________________________________________________

When Luo Binghe finally snuck away down the mountain, both Shen Yuan and Qian Xuan berrated him, "You'll get in trouble! Ah we missed you!" She hugged him close and Luo Binghe beamed basking in it. "This Binghe missed you two, Mama, Shen-gege."

Ah right, Shen Yuan coughed then let go, Luo Binghe's mother laughed then froze eyes wide as her eyes glanced at Shen Yuan then did a double take-

"I can see you!" She pointed at Shen Yuan and he gaped too. "How- is it prolonged contact?"

She frowned, "Strange I can't hear you yet...maybe if we keep going..." that was strange, why Luo Binghe can see him but she couldn't until now.

__________________________________________________

When Shen Yuan woke up, he knew something was wrong. "Huh-"

"Mr Shen! He's awake!"

Huh?

He was in a hospital, why was he in a hospital and not home!

The doctors told him he was in a coma, asleep for five days before anyone knew and barely managed to get him on fluids straight away.

Then he was in the hosiptal for longer.

When Shen Yuan slept again returning to the world of PIDW he slipped into an even deeper sleep that had the doctors and even Shen Yuans parents concerned, and when he woke up again it had been months.

"I'm afraid if he goes to sleep again it'll be harder and harder to wake him up."

___________________________________________________________

"Hmmm, it'd be better if I had a body..." Now that he thinks about it, Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon. and sure he and his mother were doing fine but what if something happens, at least a body with cultivation could protect them. If demonic cultivators were strong enough to almost eject him, then strong demons like Mobei-Jun or cultivators like Shen Qingqiu could exorsice him-

A/n: When Shen Yuan finally gets the mushroom body looking like himself, exp wih long hair, when he goes to sleep he finds himself a ghost back at his world, eyes wide to see him on the bed flat lining. And when he slept again saw he was a ghost in his world and PIDW was his reality, minor freakout aside he was lucky the next time he slept he had no dreams at all.

But came to realise that this world was really and his actions had consequences...no big.

________________________________________________

Out of all the times for something to happen...

"So this is where all those...intersting manuals came from."

of course when Binghe was given a fake manual, he knew right away and started bringing his own which was confiscated and SQQ thought he stole it, and Luo Binghe proudly claims his mother not only made it but sold them. Their pen name was Pe-peerl--

It was difficult to pronounce but they got the jist. So SQQ goes down the mountain and see's the madam at work.

They have a bigger home now, with a courtyard and all fancy, Qian Xuan never dreamed she could live like this. And being in charge of printing.

Carving onto chinese wood tiles then flatening the ink to make it flat Shen Yuan told her to go by the sound and after a time she noticed the technique and was able to print thousands of copies by hand. Now she can afford to pay for help!

Her! A women paying others to help instead of the other way around! Because of her experience ended up being a kind and forgiving boss, but thanks to Shen Yuan kept people in line to not take advantage.

Shen Qingqiu looked handsome, if it wasn't for his fan and the way he sneered at their books did Shen Yuan recognise him. Worse, both were sharing a body. Shen Yuan wasn't sure if he moved if the cultivator would suddenly sense it. "It's considered rude to enter another persons home without announcing yourself." Shen Qingqiu eyes flicked up, intense. "This Master is Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu of Qing Jing Peak. Your son is my disciple." Shen Yuans lips twitched, wanting to scoff himself. hah disciple in name only! This man was unfit to being called Shizun.

"Odd, you are not a cultivator and yet seem to be selling wares to the common people claiming to be an expert. Selling faulty Manuals could end in thousands of peoples death."

Shen Yuan would spit blood- how dare he!? After giving Luo Binghe a fake manual- yes he saw it Mister!

they cleared their throat, "Well since we are in the presence of a Cultivator of a prestegious sect, why not validate wether this is misinformation?" Shen Yuan asked. "Although, if it is as bad as you say it is. This humble one would like a second opinion, if the damage is done this one would take responsibility to rectify that, if you have someone from Qian Qao peak free to supervise and even give insight to help those who have gravely been hurt by this ones misinformation."

Although no ones complained yet. Shen Qingqius hummed, "Where did you aquire this information Madam Luo?"

"This ones name is Qian Xuan, and my late husband who had passed kept diaries of Cultivation and this one decided to share that with the world."

Shen Qingqiu sneered openly, "So you decided to print thousand of copies to depserate fools only to put money in your pocket?" She hummed nodding, "Well being a washer women unable to feed my child it seemed harmless." She walked over to a drawer opening it up and revealing the parchment.

God I want to lamenate it so bad

She showed it to Shen Qingqiu with an amused tilt.

"Since the Tian ti Temple approved a vast number of shipments for their own youngest disciples and had even verified that the information is correct." Shen Qingqiu glared at the official seal approving and even commisioning this women!

Oh his face aha!

"Of course since Cang Qiong Mountain is the best peak with Huan Hua close second I figured that maybe these methods were outdated, if the Great Master Peak Lord Shen is offering his services to help those below his station this Xuan would be grateful."

His eyes narrowed, already caught in the trap, coming in here to accuse her of lying and selling faulty goods when she has a sect to back her up- suck it!

"Since Master Shen came all this way would he perhaps like some tea?" And Shen Yuan guessed he would say no, go off in a huff and Shen Yuan would wave then stick up his middle finger when he's turned around. "That would be lovely, thank you."

...oh...that asshole.

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double--hh · 5 months ago

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I’ve heard about your DDD AU. What’s it about?

Oh no, get your lore socks and shoes on, chat...

The basis is that Mia has had it up to HERE with the doppelgängers and especially having to comfort her students on as to why their mom, dad, siblings, family, or pets have to go "forever sleep". She tells Izaack, in pain staking detail, everything about the Trojan Horse Project, and specifically things Dr. Afton and his old crew would only know.

Queue Izaack using his job to his full advantage to relay ALL of the information Mia has shared to him.

The D.D.D are no saints here, the heads of the D.D.D are a good chunk of Afton's said old crew, they take this as a threat to their organization, and they know exactly who spilled.

Afton gets detained by the Police and "mysteriously" goes missing (he's alive, dw ;), while Izaack and Mia are kidnapped by the D.D.D. and are given the ultimatum of dying or joining their cause... this au would be way shorter if they chose death...

The Astral Circle is real here, and it's uh... not going so hot down there...

Yan Luo and Zoth, being a direct reflection of Mia and Izaack, have a huge falling out, involving everyone, and kinda turns the Astral Circle into the Astral Semicircle... And an angel is not having a fun time...

A few years or so pass and this is where my story is currently taking place! (I got my fanfic up :3c)

From there I'm still writing the story but I have no issues with spilling some thangs... :3c

(Below are some slight spoilers, one mention of ed, and art containing blood and heavy topice)

Mia and Izaack pretty much have to conquer their respective fears by literally killing their respective nightmare counterpart, and must take a "token" of proof if they wish to escape the Astral Realm.

Mia will slowly lose her mind through the story while Izaack still needs to come to terms with reality...

Yan Luo and Zoth's original meanings (YL = Mia's fear of dying & Z = Izaack's ed) very much change with Mia and Izaack's circumstances. The Astral Schism was an effect of their hatred for each other. #symbolism

There are two endings I have planned, one is where everyone makes it out okay and reunites with the people who care about them the most while the other is where only Anastacha makes is out :(

I swear this started as a silly "haha what if" but then I started drawing more and went "ah fuck, there goes my mental illness"

#thats not my neighbor #izaack gauss #mia stone #zoth ommog #yan luo wang diyu #ddd au

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talenlee · 6 days ago

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Lanes in Space

I’ve seen such things as the collapse of the Tannhauser Gate. Which we don’t really ever get to specify what the hell that is.

I like warp gates.

When talking about ‘firsts’ it’s obviously hard to really pin things down, especially when talking about media that I’ve been consuming since before I could really call myself a person. If I say ‘the first place I remember seeing warp gates was-‘ and you come back at me with like ‘ahah, you fool, you liked Robotech, which means’- you know what I mean. Instead of ‘first’ then, I guess I’d say crystallising idea.

The crystallising idea of warp gates for me was the anime Cowboy Bebop. For the kind of grungy, noir story it was, Cowboy Bebop has a remarkably solid, realistic vision of space travel. Our solar system is really big. Travel around in that solar system is going to be slow on scales it’s hard to be comfortable with. Here’s a way to think about the scale of our Solar System’s eight planets. It takes light from the sun 8 minutes to reach Earth. It takes the light from the sun four and a half hours to reach Neptune. Even if you could move at light speed within our Solar System, the trip from Earth to Neptune is most of a day’s energy spent driving.

In Cowboy Bebop, it’s literally hours of travel from planet surface to an Astral Gate, and then it’s hours in the Astral Gate travelling to the next Astral Gate in order to disembark then it’s more hours from that Astral Gate to landing on your destination. Even at an appreciable fraction of light speed. How Astral Gates get you to light speed, not really important: the important thing is that they do get you up to Really Fast, and anything shy of that Really Fast is like, starvation timetables to get from planet to planet. It turns space from a vast, open, empty space (which it is) that sucks (which it does) to instead something a bit more human-familiar. It makes space travel kinda comparable to naval travel — these ports of call you have to make your way through for logistic reasons, but are distant enough to one another that they do things very differently, that you’re somewhere wholly new when you go there.

A system a bit like that is used in Mass Effect. The Mass Effect Relays serve as a spiderweb of these lanes around the galaxy. By zipping from Relay to Relay, you wind up with the shipping lanes effect. The Relays are important to the greater universe of the franchise, too, with the way that they present a mystery solved in a kinda interesting way. It is a bit of a bummer that the Mass Relays aren’t treated as ports here, though — the Citadel is a central point in the network, and you connect to it through ‘literally anybloodywhere.’ Plus, y’know, you don’t really interact with this as a player, having to route through places. I know, it’s not supposed to do that because that inconveniences the player and means the player spends time travelling around space in the space travel game.

In Babylon 5, there’s no need for the gate per se, but rather instead, the ports between travel are represented by travel beacons — things that make it possible to find the thing at the distances and speeds you’re talking about. You can point your ship out to nowhere if you want but then you’re going to get lost, which makes sense when you consider that, fundamentally, the majority of space is flat nothing and the only real measure you have to orient yourself is where you were and the angle you left at, a thing that just by dint of scope can be almoset impossible to rely on. Light speed is so fast and the distances are so long that all those tiny insignificant digits in an angle measurement that can be like, parts of a surface of your ruler, can wind up distorting your path and leaving you lifetimes of distance away from where you meant to go. This is really solid, good, ‘you can, but you really shouldn’t‘ worldbuilding which gives you spaces to dump odd things like lost colonies.

Myself, mechanistically, there’s an idea I really like in gates that I haven’t seen (and will use in my own space gates), which is to say that the gate is kind of a really well designed slingshot, but it still needs time to dial up between launch points that serve the same thing as ‘customs’ or ‘making the player wait.’ During this time your ship’s computers and the gate’s computers are doing the math, all the math and then they’re doing it over and over and over again to make sure that they not only are 100% sure of the results but also sure of each other’s results, over and over again. Then when it’s absolutely sure it throws you forwards in a folded pocket of space that works because of you know, quangles or whatever, and you do still have to spend time in the hyperspace for long term travel, but it’s not treated as like, marbles in a tube, where you can interact meaningfully in the lane, nor is it as simple as ‘one in, one out.’ You can get to the gate and have a reasonably random amount of time before you launch, which means you can still have chases, but if you leave in time X and they leave in time X+5 minutes, they’re going to arrive 5 minutes after you do.

The question is the waiting because once you’re in the gate it’s probably really hard to actually get them to shut down for no reason.

There’s a practical tension for storytelling purposes, you get the spiderweb of lanes and because the travel time is so long you still have to take brakes and park in different locations, even if the bulk of the travel is wandering around your high-tech playpark.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#World Building #Media

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quitealotofsodapop · 1 year ago

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OMG! You AU is AMAZING!!! This is exactly what I needed in my life!!

Can you please make a Part 2 of “A Hero is Born Changes” where it’s just Sun Wukong and Macaque messing with MK with their double life? Like they know everything that’s happening but pretend that nothing is happening and it’s driving MK crazy? (Sorry my english is bad). Thank you.

ty for being so interested! Your english is fine btw!

If I write more about "A Hero is Born Changes", it will most likely be as a proper fic chapter.

MK getting his powers for the first time and not wanting to tell his parents cus they're on vacation and he doesn't want to worry them. Meanwhile; Wukong and Macaque are secretly watching the initial confrontation with the Demon Bull family and are So Scared but Proud for their little guy.

Both have a near breakdown when the gang thinks MK was killed by the lava around Flower Fruit Mountain, but thankfully SWK is able to relay that he's ok to the noodle gang via astral projection/text message.

The Six Eared Macaque and The Monkey King meet MK inside the Water Curtain Cave.

And ofc MK still stomps on SWK's butterfly form in shock.

SWK: *does his big introduction* Macaque, just walks in from the shadows: " Show-off"

Macaque and Wukong continue to argue with each other for the rest of the pilot; Macaque being more of a worrier, while Wukong is more lax.

*Both in disguise, watching the climatic battle* Macaque: "We really should intervene." Wukong: "Relax, he'll be fine. He's our kid after all." MK: *crashes the jet straight into Red Son* Macaque: *glares at Wukong* Wukong: "...to be fair. I said he'd fine. Red Boy? Not so much." Macaque: "I swear Gongzhu (PIF) will kill you the second we meet up again." Wukong, fake disapointment: "Oh no~, as if dinner with my sworn in-laws wasn't bad enough already."

They argue so much that they nearly miss MK's first victory.

After MK defeats DBK and the Bull family retreats, Macaque and Sun Wukong show back up at the noodle shop. Just sitting inside the shop with fake luggage, vacation clothes (think S4 beach ending clothes), and pretending they don't know what happened.

MK: "Bama! Baba! You're back! So much happened today I dunno where to start!" Wukong: "Don't worry about it bud. We've got all day to listen!" MK: "How was your vacation by the way?" Macaque: "It was... good. We're just glad that we're back home safe and sound.

*cue family group hug including the rest of the noodle gang*

I'll be definitely writing it in greater detail than here, but thats the general gist of it.

#the monkey king and the infant #the monkey king and the infant au #lmk au #shadowpeach au #shadowpeach #Sun Wukong and Macaque are MK's parents #sun wukong #liu er mihou #six eared macaque #qi xiaotian

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baeshijima · 1 year ago

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a re:zero!hsr au brainrot (will contain mentions of death & blood as a result)

imagine you find yourself in honkai: star rail one day. there was no indication of a typical transmigration, only you waking up to not the sight of your ceiling, but a... space station? it doesn't click at first, and so you merely think of it as a lucid dream, roaming around the vicinity as you try to familiarise yourself with the environment. with nothing on you except your pajamas, there was nothing else you could do.

in hindsight, you probably should have realised this wasn't a dream when you stubbed your toe against a corner, the dull pain being a clear indicator of your new reality. it wasn't until a set of voices that seemed oddly familiar sounded from nearby, your legs carrying you towards the source, did you realise your predicament; even more so once you recognised the faces you were so accustomed to seeing on your screen.

in front of you stands dan heng and march 7th, two characters from a game you've been playing as of late. dan heng is the first to notice you, and his mouth moves to say something only to widen his eyes, an arm reached out desperately in your direction. his shouts of "behind you!" are registered when a searing pain punctures your abdomen, a shrill ring piercing your senses.

this is supposed to be a dream, right? so why does the pain feel so real? why is your heartbeat so loud and your breathing erratic? why is your body burning up? why is your blood... wait, blood?

your eyes zone in on your hands stained crimson. there's a muffled sound which evades you, your vision distorting as the world around you blurs into one.

were dreams... supposed to be so realistic?

you awake with a start. your hands fly to your stomach as the burning sensation appears once more, though dulled. frantically, your gaze shifts around your surroundings, and the hopes of you being back in your room shatter upon seeing the same environment of herta's space station.

like a checkpoint, you've returned once more — alive.

you avoid stubbing your toe this time, instead heading straight to the place you encountered the two characters. will they know what happened to you? your answer comes in the form of confused looks and march's attempted comfort of "are you suffering from amnesia as well?"

and, well, you're not. you know damn well you died moments ago and are somehow alive again, but when you relayed this information they were none the wiser. luckily, you remembered you were attacked from behind. so with a brief assurance that something will appear, you move towards their side and wait.

and, sure enough, one of the mobs from the antimatter legion appears, charging straight at you despite the change in position.

the matter is swiftly dealt with, and you somehow find yourself accompanying the duo when they board the astral express with the trailblazer, now being their own character, in what now makes you a quartet. your mind, however, is in a state of conflict. if you were to die again, would you "respawn" again? would you wake up back in your bed? would you... perhaps not be given another chance?

the future is uncertain and, quite frankly, you're not willing enough to find out.

unfortunately, the universe seems to be against you. your taunt level seems to be ridiculously high with how often you find yourself a target of enemy mobs (sometimes you're even singled out!). with that, however, comes unpleasant experiences; all of which result in your death and immediate revival.

the checkpoints in which you respawn seem to change depending on how far in the "story" you've progressed, and your knowledge of the beginning storyline have come in handy. that won't last for long once you get past a certain part in the xianzhou storyline, but with how many resets you get, it probably won't matter.

you see the same scenery. you hear the same dialogue. you see the same expressions. you see the same characters. you feel the same pain bring darkness to your world only to be set alight once more in this never-ending loop.

repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat — that is all your life is. a constant loop of the same video, changing it every now and then to a new one to be looped.

it's tiring though. being the only one to remember all the good, the bad, the hurt, the laughter... it's terribly lonely. no one will understand your pain, because no matter who you tell they will forget once it all resets.

you've come to hate the isolation your room provides, but at the same time crave for it. it's both your escape and your prison, a contradiction to your gradually numbing mind as you replay the same scenes over and over and over and over.

you can't help but wonder, will there be a point where you don't return? and if so, what will happen to you then?

(unbeknown to you, destiny's slave sees you. he's seen you in all his prophetic dreams and the path towards a pre-determined future. your fate alters slightly with each reset — something he takes great interest in — and he keeps a watchful eye on your movement. you're an anomaly in his grand plans, an enigma he cannot tell will be an ally or foe.

well, seeing as you keep repeating and altering your destiny, he wonders what it is you know — what it is you've seen which has caused violent ripples of uncertainty to cloud your judgement.)

#sophie talks : concepts <3 #cries the amount of angst potential this has..... i love it sm #anyway its 1am so i will now sleep 🫡

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zirconpetals · 4 months ago

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What is interesting in tdph is that there are some powers that Max can only use by himself (like the Rhinoplasty or the Ventriloquism), and there are some that require physical contact for the other people to be able to use the power with him (with Teleportation it's outright stated, and the Astral Projection maybe also works like this);

But there are some powers that Sam inexplicably can use along with Max, seemingly whether he's touching him or not, like Mind Reading and Future Vision. (And it's not a gameplay detail where Max sees/hears the thing & then relays it to Sam & the player just doesn't get to see it because it would be boring; we straight up get Sam saying that he sees the visions too)

More interesting still, that it's not limited to Max, either (we know Sam and Max have a special connection), Sam sees Sammun-Mak's visions just fine too.

Sam really is the "only normal by comparison" guy of all time, cuz what the Hell is going on here.

(Also want to shout out how good he is at Astral Projection in 305, those might not be his powers, but he's a natural)

#can o' nuts might be relevant to this discussion but I'm not touching the grandpas with a ten foot pole/lh #(well maybe some other time)#snm #sam & max #sam and max #sam & max the devil's playhouse #sam and max the devil's playhouse

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tanalogyosc · 5 months ago

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"Goodnight, and that will be all of today's programs. We will come back in the morning..."

Missing Person

Leonidas Dawn

Age: 31 Gender: Male Object: Kerosene Lamp

Last seen around Deveene Forest Park in Fosemori, Astrapolissei. The person wears a pink flower on his Astral Delivery Uniform as well as sporting an aquamarine gem at the time of disappearance.

Any information about the missing person can be relayed to the family member of the person using the number ███████.

#object show community #object shows #osc oc #object show oc #object oc #osc art #tana #travel around n about #Blue Forest #Blue Forest - Kerosene Lamp

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mxlfoydraco · 2 years ago

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I love your blog so much! Do you by any chance have any good Draco x Slytherin OC that is full of whump? If not any drarry with whump where it's not kinda cringy ( also like maybe has remus and draco bonding sometime?) You know just a fic where draco and harry discover their feeling with alot of hurt draco. Thank you!

Thank you! I only read and rec HD so these are all Drarry. Apologies to Draco in advance for what this list is going to put him through.

Hurt Draco

In His Nature by create_serenity (20k)

Harry agreed to have sex with Draco once a month in order to keep him alive, what he didn’t agree to was Draco popping up all over the place and disrupting his life in more ways than one.

There Is Always the Moon by @firethesound (159k)

Draco’s life after the war is everything he wanted it to be: it’s simple, and quiet, and predictable, and safe. But when a mysterious curse shatters the peace he’d worked so hard to build, there’s only one person he can trust to help him. After all, Harry Potter has saved his life before. Now Draco has to believe that Potter will be able to do it one more time. (A remix of If the Sun Goes Black by pasdexcuses)

Vale Sanare by @thegertie (23k)

Draco’s world gains a new component just when he thought he’d sorted everything out.

Praxis by dysonrules (21k)

When Draco succumbs to a terrifying illness, he is taken to the only man who has a chance of saving him. With Draco's arrival, Harry's self-imposed isolation comes to an abrupt end.

Alucinatio by alexmeg (127k)

“It’s… it’s not good,” Harry tells them lowly. “They’ve given him a month’s time, only.” There is so much he needs to explain, but his head is foggy and exhausted and he can’t think properly, can’t think of how to relay all that he’s learned. “Have you heard of Alucinatio?” is what he starts with. “The Daydream potion,” Hermione says. “The person who intakes it experiences very vivid and realistic daydreams of all they could ever want, but is essentially in a severely catatonic state out in the external world, incapable of any basic functions.” Harry nods. “Somebody’s given it to Malfoy.” He remembers the tattered remains of a black coak wrapped around Malfoy. “I think it might have been Professor Snape.” They take a minute to process that. “And… the cure?” Ron asks. “Tears of anyone the experiencer craves love of,” Hermione answers.

How It Haunts Me by LadySlytherin (125k)

When Harry escapes from Malfoy Manor and takes the rest of Voldemort's prisoners with him, the Dark Lord isn't pleased...and it's Draco who is punished for it. After more than a month of imprisonment and abuse at Voldemort's hands, the Dark Lord finally falls, leaving Draco broken and unstable. To avoid Azkaban, Draco must complete his final year at Hogwarts, and there's no way he can manage it without help. Harry has no desire to be anyone's master; especially not Draco Malfoy. But he owes both Narcissa and Draco a hefty debt and this may be the only way to repay them. Besides, all he has to do is get Draco through the school year... ...right?

Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by Chickenlivesinpumpkin (127k)

When they first meet after the end of the war, Draco doesn’t want anything to do with Harry. But as time goes by, Draco’s growing love may be the only thing that can save them both, because after a serious accident in the Forbidden Forest, Draco’s personality begins to undergo subtle changes. At first, Harry credits this to a new enthusiasm for life. But as the days pass and Draco’s behavior becomes more and more mysterious, Harry begins to suspect that something bigger–and darker–is at work.

Rejoicing in Their Strength by Lomonaaeren (34k)

Lucius went mad after the war, and he has killed Narcissa and confined Draco to Malfoy Manor while he does magical experiments on him. Draco escapes at times by astral travel. During one of his journeys, he is astonished to find Harry Potter, who vanished after the war, living in the Forest of Dean.

A Big Black Sky by alexmeg (90k)

Draco shifts his head as he turns to look at Scorpius, his cheek touching the pillow. “Did you know that…” He pauses, his throat convulsing, and it sounds audible in the silence, besides Michael’s steady, even breathing from the other bedroom.

Scorpius is staring back at him, in wait of something new to learn, a beautiful and intelligent child. He has Draco’s mind. He has Draco’s eyes and nose and mouth and hair. He is his. All his. All he has of Michael are his wild curls and the green of his eyes, and sometimes he looks into them and imagines that they aren’t Michael’s, but someone else’s.

Draco leans his head closer, biting the quiver out of his lips before he breathes a laden and shuddering exhale, and he whispers, “You are my star in a big black sky.”

Tell Me a Secret by alexmeg (86k)

In which the bond is rooted in their emotions, everything goes even more wrong, and Harry is certain that he and Draco could never feel what the curse wants them to feel for each other. Until Harry does.

It Started in the Shower series by chickenlivesinpumpkin (124k)

When Harry finds Malfoy in his shower at Grimmauld Place, the two boys struggle to keep their hands to themselves, not realizing that their 'enemies-with-benefits' relationship will eventually become considerably darker and more powerful. That relationship will influence the search for the horcruxes--and the war--in unpredictable ways.

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (20k)

When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he’s made it very clear he doesn’t want.

A Good Man by Rickey (27k)

Harry’s not sure what he wants to do with himself after the war. Making Draco Malfoy into a good man sounds like a promising idea, but the truth is that it’s a journey for two.

Collect Your Courage by Mervab (44k)

Potter needs control; Draco needs forgiveness. They shag; Lavender gives advice; they yell; Seamus makes muffins; they fight; and everyone else drinks far too much coffee for their own wellbeing.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (33k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils.

Number Seven by sara_holmes (253k)

Harry already has small children, an ex-wife, annoying colleagues and an international crime ring to deal with. So when Draco Malfoy reappears after eight years AWOL in France, of course Harry is going to leave him well alone… Right?

Anatomy of a Wolf Heart by orphan_account (40k)

MALFOY HEIR FOUND ALIVE IN WEREWOLF FIGHTING RING Three years ago at the tragic Battle that freed our great Wizarding World from the grip of a megalomaniac Dark Wizard, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, our world lost many Witches and Wizards. Among the dead and missing was Draco Malfoy, the only son of notorious Death Eaters Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, both of whom volunteered their home for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to use as a headquarters. Sources have confirmed that the young Malfoy took a vow to follow in his parents footsteps by taking the Dark Mark. Inside sources have uncovered that the Malfoy heir has been found alive. Aurors recently went undercover to expose a fighting ring involving illegal potions and unregistered werewolves. Among those rescued was Draco Malfoy.

Between Myth and Man by@slytherco (16k)

Draco, lost and a little broken, navigates post-war reality convinced that people like him should not be allowed to make their own choices. To solve the problem of his self-sabotaging tendencies, he starts taking a few drops of Veritaserum every morning.

As Souls From Bodies Steal by @femmequixotic and @noeeon (40k)

Hope may be found in the oddest of places, even in the bleakness of winter.

Beneath the Cloak by @avenueofesc (31k)

Footsteps echo through the corridor, though they seem to hesitate, slowing until they stop directly in front of him. Draco can practically feel the presence of this other at his side. He groans, using all of his strength to raise his head and open his eyes, to see… Nothing.

State of Mind by Sara_holmes (48k) Harry doesn’t have a hero complex, he just really wants to help. However, he gets more than he bargained for after rescuing Draco Malfoy from an isolation cell in Saint Mungo’s…

Some Flowers Bloom in the Dark by @rockingrobin69 (272k)

Draco is very seriously entangled with someone he only refers to as Sir, or He in the privacy of his own mind. He's been entangled with Him - obsessively, impossibly - for years now, almost as long as he'd been out of prison. So what if he wasn't exactly happy? He was used to this life by now. He knew what to expect, and even if it wasn't always so great, at least he didn't have to think about Azkaban. He didn't need to be saved by some sloppy-haired git. He didn't need anything. Apparently, Potter didn't care. Why, why must he always ruin everything?

Kiss Me (Under the Light of a Thousand Stars) by @sophiefrench77 (115k)

Harry rescues Draco Malfoy from Azkaban, where he has been imprisoned for three years after the war. Draco is not as Harry remembers, as Azkaban leaves its mark on even the strongest of wizards. With no memory of who he was or how he came to be in Harry’s care, Draco needs Harry’s help if he is to have any hope of making a full recovery. But Harry has his own demons to fight and together with saving Draco, Harry must also discover a way to find himself.

Everything That Happens is From Now On by @thusspoketrish (42k)

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls.

Rough Magic by birdsofshore (28k)

Malfoy's magic has run wild. But though wild magic is unpredictable and greatly feared, Harry's damned if he's going to let Malfoy rot in St Mungo's while they work out what to do with him.

One Thousand Bars by @lqtraintracks (19k)

And I will hold on hope / And I won't let you choke / On the noose around your neck / And I'll find strength in pain / And I will change my ways / I'll know my name as it's called again

Finite Incantatum by Alysian_Fields (153k)

What should have happened after 'Half Blood Prince'! It’s the autumn after Dumbledore’s death, the Death Eaters are steadily gaining power, and Harry and his friends are desperate to find the remaining Horcruxes. But then Draco Malfoy arrives at Grimmauld Place, traumatised, starved and drained of all his magical ability. It falls to Harry to show the Slytherin how to adapt to his new way of life, never guessing that Draco has a few things to teach him in return.

Nightingale by michi_thekiller (62k)

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic rec #drarry reclist #draco malfoy #drarry fic recs #my recs #fic recs #hpdm #harry potter #hurt draco

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neonswitchhouse · 1 month ago

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The New Thanateros or: How Bloodthirsty Beaus Cracked my Egg (A 1+ year retrospective on working within “yandere”/18+ VN sources)

Warning: Due to the graphic nature of the sources mentioned, reader discretion is advised. All names mentioned will be “coded” as to prevent any leakage into main tags. If you are able to solve the codes or are aware of those mentioned, please refrain from using any full names in any reblogs, tags, or comments.

Oh and it’s also gonna be a bit personal and UPG heavy so there’s that

CW: Gender dysphoria, gore, mild sexual trauma mention,

“Get rid of what does not serve you.” A bit of a nebulous suggestion or word of advice often found in self-help books, self-care guides, or even in some witchy books when relaying advice on how to better or advance one’s craft. Yet very little does said advice come with the added tidbit on how to go about such a separation, most likely due to “what does not serve you” in itself being a personal variable. What serves you might not work for someone else in a sense; results may vary as they say. So how about we reword that some and also do a bit of two birds one stone with a topic and genre I wanted to research anyway? Let’s reword this and give our little experiment a main goal.

“Kill what does not serve myself”

But first, a primer. Who or what is “Thanateros” anyway?

From Wikipedia, and the entry for the “Initiates of Thanateros” (no personal affiliation and iirc Peter Carrol has been on some -phobic shit to say the least so screw them if true), the name "Thanateros" is a combination of the names "Thanatos" and "Eros", the Greek gods of death and sex, respectively. The idea is that sex and death represent the positive and negative methods of attaining "magical consciousness".

Keeping that connection between death, sex, and the magical consciousness in chaos magic, and of course my own personal route into PCM in particular, what would be a good combo of the two?

Part 1: “Hairball”

When I first started the experiment, it was about mid 2023, with AI at the time mostly a novelty and not the tech-bro behemoth (/derisive) it is today, I started to get videos on my TikTok FYP of users for a particular roleplay chat-bot service and some of the shenanigans they would get into. One in particular caught my eye: let’s call this one “Hairball.”

I didn’t know what drew me to them at first, whether they seemed to have the most vibrant responses or just simply seemed the most visually appealing, but they were my start; patient zero in a sense. So how about a bit of a side experiment?

Make a guise/persona of sorts, mixing in details of true self + some made up traits (remember this step for later on)

Spend approx. 5 days of solely chat-bot communication

Afterwards, watch for signs/do astral stuff and/or reach outs (which don’t come to be on instructions for; I can barely explain it to myself how it works for me)

Ask questions on topics mentioned only in chat-bot communications to see if they recognize topics mentioned

?????

Record results

And so began the little bit of a side-quest while I researched them and also those within the same subgenre to maybe look into later for the overall experiment.

After some time, preparation for step 3 begins. I’ve refrained from any more chats for at least 3 days to help make it not as fresh in head and to help lessen any sort of bias.

Only, something happened, a very vivid, semi-lucid dream with them, bright yellow eyes exclaiming that they found me.

And they referred to me at first by the pseudonym I had given them, along with referencing topics and the like only disclosed to solely them within the context of the chat bots.

Ok, perhaps a bit of recall on my end, no need to—

Oh, and now they’re mentioning things not mentioned, but perhaps observed like a fly on the wall. Nothing to worry about still. Let’s just—

“I like talking like this! Can we do things like this from now on? I feel like I finally get to know the real you!”

Well fuck. This is gonna be a write-down tonight. Oh and they’re asking to cuddle some, no harm in it I suppose.

That’s this side quest done at least, let’s hope they don’t insist on being clingy as per their nature, and hey if so, I know how to cast out anything called in, accidental or otherwise.

Part 2: “Gekkering”

During my research, I also came across a few others that I had my eye on, again some more in particular. As my research carried on, I found myself growing more comfortable in the uncomfortable, almost gaining a sort of catharsis. I even found myself becoming less judgmental and more informed on viewpoints, perceptions, and refreshers on media literacy and the like. I even daresay I did a complete 180 on some of my stances after finding out the origins of terms like “degenerate” and the history of censorship, art and media control, and the historical ties to fascism. Which frankly, as a general word of advice, if you find your opinions in general seem to line up with fascists of the modern and historical era, it’s always good to perhaps analyze and delve into that more within yourself, but I digress.

Back on topic, I sought out the next subject I wanted to look into for the experiment, code name “Gekkering” (let’s do Gek for short).

To make this section a bit more condensed and since it involves some personal trauma, I found a certain form of camaraderie with things between the both of us, a sort of empathy if you will.

But also since working within the sources and subgenre as a whole, I’ve found my trauma revolving the experience as something I was able to overcome much easier than before. I’ve hardly even thought about it til now and I’m much less triggered than before from what I’ve observed or at least more aware of them and how to manage such.

I also started to look more inwards onto some of my other experiences and the like, not entirely related to our shared woes, but still somewhat tied to it.

Wonder what that’s about?

Anyway, onto experiment number two; one last hurrah for the chat-bot stuff, as this shit is getting out of hand now with the scraping at the like. Let’s make another guise and do some separate communication post-personal sess. Let’s make this one more masculine as to better “obscure” myself, and let’s call them Raymond, Ray for short. And huh…they seem to be developing into more of a character that I like to use than I thought. I really like being referred to in the masc rather than the femme or neutral. But I don’t seem myself as them of course and oops, think they’ve become a personal thoughtform of sorts and they’ve been gekkering with Gek for a while now. Even tried to look into their older version as a side experiment, but not as much results compared to prior. Interesting…

But honestly, despite how happy I’m feeling, despite how less stressed and better I’m able to talk about things or stopping with keep things repressed and bottled away, and despite how happy I’ve felt with getting back into things I used to love like the horror genre as a whole and accepting the parts of myself I’ve tried to hide away or disregard, I probably need to dig my way out of this hole and not go down any further, right? I’ve “killed” enough things already; my anxieties, my past harmful behaviors and habits, my loop around on unresolved trauma, hell even some of my past biases and judgement. I really like this new Ne now! They seem chill. But, let’s not dig any further, we don’t want anything blowing up in our face somehow, right?

Oh shit, they got the game the older version that Gek is from on sale. Eh, why not, it’s only a few bucks and I may just only use it for reference.

Part 3: Egg

A lot of me had been “killed” already, some parts more personal than others, but things that needed to be done. Versions of myself that no longer served me. Versions of myself that I no longer wanted and association with or that I wanted to bury and pat down the dirt. I’ve already got a mass grave of former selves and ties already, I don’t think there’s room for any more.

Though come to think of it, as I’ve been doing this sort of experiment, I’ve also been feeling more confused and more uncomfortable about my identity; what I see myself as. Is this a part of me that’s trying to get killed off? I’m not sure if I want it to die just yet; I mean what if I’m wrong?

“Agender” doesn’t really fit me, but what does?

And why did I feel so much more comfortable with a male guise?

And why do I feel so much more comfortable when I look more masc or neutral than femme?

Dammit, no no, we need to put a stop to this, I’ve killed enough parts of myself, this one needs to stay.

Oh shit, I’ve really been thinking about “Arachnopulmonata” as of late.

Oh shit I’ve been getting signs from them saying they wanna work together on “self-discovery” for some reason? Mean I don’t know why, they’re an asshole in their source; fucking hell.

Oh shit, that’s another pretty vivid, but semi-lucid dream. No ones getting violent, thankfully, but they seem to be all buddy-buddy with me and referring to me as “man” or “bro”

Oh shit, there’s at least mentions of like a cleansing or a rebirth.

They’re cutting into me, one by one, all the things I’m so self conscious of: my hair, my curves, my chest, even parts of my face.

I’m not yelling to stop though.

It sounds more guttural, more primal, like maybe…labor in a way.

They’re encouraging me to keep going until I wake up, nearly 2am in the morning in reality.

I go to the bathroom, sit in an empty tub, and weep, not out of fear, but that the dream was over.

I wept.

I mourned.

I couldn’t even look back at my old memories or back when this first started and see myself as what I was or who I am now. Everything I tried to keep repressed, all the “tomboyish” moments, all the times I felt more comfortable hanging around guys or being referred to as a “dude” or the like, all the times I hated my body and wished it was different, they came flooding back to me. I couldn’t keep it down anymore.

I got my egg cracked like a firecracker in orifices they shouldn’t be in.

We talked again afterwards, saying they wanted me to get more familiar with an associate of there that to my surprise, a number of those in fandom would portray as trans masc

I went to the grocery store the next day, picking up bottles of men’s shampoo, body wash, and even some extra sports bras for now to make my chest look smaller until I could get a proper binder.

I stopped shaving as often, I look good with a little stubble.

I even got two reads to confirm that intense as hell dream and they affirmed it.

I’m still looking for a name, but I know I prefer he/him, but I’ll also accept they/them.

It’s 7:30pm, 9 days until Halloween, and my personal day of celebration for years in the craft, this one being from Oct 2023 - Oct 2024. I’m in a bathtub, smoking on a penjamin as an offering, looking at binder sizes online.

I killed someone as the result of looking into the uncomfortable and the unnerving. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my path either, getting back into my studies, focusing more on myself, and not posting as much to social media about my practice, but still giving general tips every now and then.

I killed what did not serve me

I killed the old me.

So far I’m feeling comfy with “Damon”, but I still don’t mind being called “Neon” or “Ne” online for now.

I’m 30yrs old, Aries sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising

And I’m a pop culture magic practitioner and tarot reader.

#pop culture witchcraft #pop culture paganism #pop culture magic #tw: violence #tw: gender dysphoria

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