#assworth

[cocksley-and-catapult]

hey man check out this new comic it’s called uhhh assworth and mangonel

[aceattorneyheritageposts]

I hc the reason that Edgeworth always has his hands in his trouser pockets is an act of defiance against Manfred. Because mfvk is so strict he probably would have taught miles to never put his hands in his pockets because a) it’s bad form traditionally because it stretches the fabric and b) lawyers are often scolded for having hands in their pockets. So miles keeps his hands in his pockets as a invisible ‘fuck you’ to von karma

I like this headcanon. Like "fuck you von Karma, now everyone knows my ass is incredible, unlike you with your flat ass baby ass man ass ass."

[disc0dild0s]

Oh my God I am GAPING

Discovered some forgotten doodles on my laptop from when my tablet was MIA anyway enjoy Phoenix Ass

[hahafunyfungusman]

a compilation

[screamingaboutaceattorney]

Hello there. I am playing AA1 on my switch and Y’know when the camera zooms out so you see the judge, edgeworth, Wright AND the witness stand … if u look at edgeworth’s… behind….. why is edgeworth so thicc

Bro, that's nothing. Have you seen the figurine where he has his hands in his pockets? Miles is packing CAKE

[thought-i-to-myself]

Since you're absolutely brilliant, Id love to hear your opinion and break down on the ending bickering scene and the development of Ann "This is my life now, piss off good sir" Walker because what an icon. I can only hope this little cute skirmish brings on many sweet and funny moments between the two. 💞

YES I THINK IT SHALL.  Ann Walker was on fire this episode, except for that moment when it was her drawing of Anne that was actually on fire which was devastatingly tragic.  BUT YES.  We have known all along that Ann had some fight in her so it was absolutely thrilling and inspiring to see her stand up for herself, by herself.  Let’s recap:

In 1 x 02, Anne finds out that some members of Ann’s idiotic tribe are totally taking advantage of the fact that she is $$$ loaded, and she helps her compose a strongly-worded letter as a means of defending her and her cash.  And Coach Anne says that she’d be willing to come back next time and dictate another, but like all great coaches, she hopes instead that Ann will be able to do it herself in the future.  Teach a woman to fish, and all that …

In 1 x 05, we see some sparks of Ann’s fight, particularly when it comes to Ainsworth.  First, Anne again helps her write a letter telling that wretch off (lesbians love writing letters, if you didn’t know) and then Reverend Assworth has the nerve to come right the fuck over anyway.  Ann sticks to her guns and tells James (“Yes, thank you James!”) to send him on his merry way, and to remind him that she JUST SENT HIM A FLIPPING LETTER TELLING HIM TO BACK OFF.  But I think it’s important to note that Anne is in the room here, she’s literally in Ann’s corner so to speak.  [Also is it just me or does anyone else say “Yes, thank you James!” in Ann’s perfect voice every time you see James on screen? Just me? Ok whatevs.]  Secondly, there’s a part later in this episode where Ann has sent word that she’s not feeling well and instructed everyone to leave her alone, and ELIZA this time comes right the fuck over anyway.  What is it with these people?  And Ann has a great little scene (that I know I still need to gif for @nikkupsticks, sorry friend) where she says she didn’t hear the doorbell ring and Yes-thank-you-James tells her that Eliza came around back.  Ann groans (the hbo caption actually says “[groans]”) and tells Miss Parkhill snarkily that “she sneaks in,” and that people show up anyway even when you ask them not to.  Then she tells Miss Parkhill that she might head back upstairs, and though this is kind of a throwaway line, to me it’s signaling that Ann does have that fight-or-flight instinct within her somewhere, it’s just buried under layers of civility.  But she’s well on her way to reaching her breaking point.

In 1 x 06, Ann tells Anne that when she’s with her, she feels like she could take on the world and boom, it’s like by saying it outloud like that Ann has totally jinxed herself because OF COURSE now she’s gonna have to learn how to take on the world without Anne first before she gets to be with Anne.  And throughout episodes 5 and 6 we see several moments where Ann is so sure of her feelings for Anne when they’re together in the bedroom or behind closed doors but then 180s in the light of day, faced with her family and the jeering eyes of society.  And the difference in all those instances is Anne: when Ann has Anne as backup, as her coach, her teammate, she is willing and able to fight for what she wants. That is, until Ann - sweet cinnamon roll Ann who has been sort of cast aside and dragged around by her family her whole life - has to go to Scotland to be with big sis and big sis’s disgusting human of a husband because family always knows what’s best (???) and birthing children solves all a person’s problems (???).

UGGHHH that brings me to the heartbreaking scene in 1 x 08 where Ann is so sad and downtrodden - she doesn’t know yet that Anne’s written, that Anne still cares for her -  that she’s basically resigned herself to think maybe she should go be with whatever poor schmuck Capt. Sutherland wants.  I mean this is the product of years of abusive behavior by her family which has led Ann to believe that she’s worthless.  And with no signs of life from Anne, Ann’s spark is all-but-extinguished until big sis ELIZABETH swoops in because big sisters are fucking awesome and girl knows that it’s SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS and CHICKS BEFORE DICKS and that friendships between women are literally the most important thing in the world full stop.  So Ann Walker hears that Anne hasn’t let go yet and the flame is reignited and whatever idea Ann had tried to convince herself of that being with joe schmoe might actually be bearable is struck down by Elizabeth’s lightning rod words that you should do what who makes you happy and if that’s a coal pit-sinking brunette in a greatcoat and a tophat with a killer smile and eyes that make you go weak at the knees then go for it little sis because gal pals like that don’t come along every day!!!  Is that not what she said? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.

So you know what comes next, Anon: it’s “I’ll deal with it,” and “bye bitch, thanks for having me, see ya never!” and “everything that has to do with me is my choice.“  And yeah, ok, so she’s got Eliza and Eliza’s hubby there and Elizabeth is secretly on her team too, but she’s standing up for herself because she’s finally reached her breaking point and come to the conclusion that letting other people decide for her is not working, civility be damned.  Remember how joyfully Ann talked about “my sister, Elizabeth!!” in episode 2? Go back and watch it, she says it like that 3 times in the span of 10 minutes.  And now here we are, however many months later it is, and Ann is staring into the face of her older sister Elizabeth who is revealing that she’s actually miserable and intimating that husbands and babies aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be.  So I think that for Ann, she sees in her sister’s eyes what her world will look like if she goes down that path and that fight-or-flight kicks in.  And then there’s Anne.  And there’s that feeling, that deep, indescribable thing in her bones that Ann feels when she’s with Anne. That thing that turns her into Ann “I’d love to paint you” Walker and Ann “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you” Walker and Ann “it’d be like a marriage”/“like a wedding?”/“is it not the same as a proposal?” Walker.  And that thing wins out.  Because that thing is real, and Anne’s real, and because “often a good friendship [with a woman] is better than a marriage [to a man].”  And if a good friendship with a woman is better than a marriage to a man, then what could be better than secretly marrying that good friend who is a woman and living as secret wives gal pals for the rest of your days.  Not a damn thing, that’s what.

The wifely witty bickering at the end of the episode is just icing on the (wedding) cake.  These two have gone through the gauntlet of emotions, both together and apart this season, but this idea that they’d make a lasting commitment to each other and solidify it with some sort of symbolic gesture has been lingering between them for months at this point.  But now there are no more words.  No more yes’s or no’s. No more “I can’t.”  No more “you came so close.” Exchanging rings in the carriage, sealing it with kisses, taking communion together, That Finger Graze, smiling on the way out of the church - all of it was wordless.  They didn’t have to say anything.  They knew how serious it was for each of them. They understood the gravity of it all, the weight of what they were doing, what it meant, and what it cost. And so by the time they got back to the alleyway, they had taken the sacrament together and were wearing rings on their fingers, and there were no more questions about what they were to each other or what they’d be in the future.  It was done.

So the last scene, the playful back and forth - that’s totally what marriage is, isn’t it?  It’s a comfort thing. Anne can joke with Ann about her being morethan a pretty face because she knows she’s not going anywhere.  Ann can stomp all over Anne’s plans, or boss her around (please god yessss) and order her to put away her pocketwatch because she knows Anne won’t leave her. And those all just words anyway, you know?  And now, our Ann(e)s, our beautiful, remarkable, perfect Ann(e)s are married. And that is so much bigger than words.

This show is fucking perfect.  

[ushas42]

vvvvvvyeah replied to your post “I had a dream the other night that I saw a woman out driving with the...”

All your furniture was gone but you clearly had your priorities straight and was worried more about the assworth figurine

This hussy stole my man and bolted him to her shitty white car!

[theshmeepking]

emotes from the gumshoe army discord server

part 5 of 7

[lullabydust]

new term: assworth, used to describe a very small amount of something, as in "I didn't get an assworth of work done today"

[screamingaboutaceattorney]

Have you seen that scene in the anime where they literally focus on Bratworth's arse??? That dude has a very thicc one....

Holy fuck, yeah. I forgot about that for a minute, thanks for reminding me, I need more of that in my life.

[mxdgrl]

is the boxing on TV there?

probably on one of the Sky Sports channels or something but I'm busy watching a show about Thai ladyboys

[onlinepolice]

sideshowknob replied to your post: assworth liked your post: i ate too much prawn...

assworths kind of grown on me i dont know why

get your coat assworth you've pulled

[flumpp]

assworth started following you

EMILY

[mxdgrl]

Hi ya....watching boxing from Manchester right now....Ricky Hatton is boxing.. Just a hello. Made me think of you!

I'm flattered assworth