#assume they will anyways and just never post anything that isnt okay at work' which um............... idk i just think thats Dumb | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jbt7493 · 1 year ago

Text

(continuation of previous DF animalpeople post)

which you probably want to read first for context, but i made it a new post so i could put spoilers under a cut and because it is kinda a separate idea from that posts considerations. speaking of which, rather long post and also it contains dwarf fortress spoilers at the very end.

exclusively aquatic people - can't get them normally whether in fortress or adventure mode, but there's an interesting idea of having either an exclusively aquatic fortress or a separate section of your fortress with their own flooded workshops and beds and stuff (can they still use them though? would that even work?). the only reason they would be interesting despite this inconvenience and the possibility of them not even functioning, where amphibious people basically dont matter, is the species - sperm whale people are even fucking bigger than elephant people (5x more, jesus), and ?from what i can tell? cuttlefish, squid, and octupus people actually get the full set of limbs from the original animal plus 2 arms and 2 legs, so they have a ton of arms? but thats of dubious use since i think the main value draw of that is using more shields and its gonna be hard to field your aquatic-people as soldiers, lol.

anyway i mean idk how much of a benefit to productivity the extra strength of an elephant person is vs the value for combat, and even then, i would assume it plateaus long before you get to being 200 times the size of a dwarf. i guess maybe you could use dwarves for convenient surface work and then if a megabeast shows up you use forbidding to force them through an underwater path where a crack team of a dozen supersoldiers lay in wait. actually oh man that's interesting. if they're able to sleep and use training halls normally so long as you have a fully submerged area of your fort, and you dont care about them crafting (even better to ensure theyre as trained as possible), all you need to deal with is dropping meals and gear into the water for them, instead of worrying about getting items *they* craft out of the water.

a well equipped and trained dwarven squad can handle most megabeasts but some can still be a problem; assuming you can produce equipment for spermwhalepeople normally, i think even if your sperm whale people soldiers are only mediocre in skill, they will be larger and stronger than most megabeasts. a dwarf with good armor can take some serious hits from creatures far larger than it, but a spermwhaleperson with good armor? i think even when they take a hit it would barely do anything to them. maybe i dont understand the way damage accumulates on large creatures though, idk.

as for weapons, obviously a huge monster has just a lot of force behind their attacks, but their contact area for attacks are big and the material hardness isnt that high. the strength of a megabeast but using steel (or divine metal or adamantine) material characteristics, and the contact area of a weapon allowing it to do critical damage more often against any defenses. the only thing that would trump it in defensive capabilities would be procgen megabeasts with metal bodies, and even then, because of the contact area of a weapon vs natural attacks, they should fall. plus your soldiers have combat skills and also, masterwork gear is super effective so that narrows the gap a little bit. definitely still a risk, but i mean. metal procgen monsters decimate any normal fort unless you can permanently trap them or you use an atom smasher to kill them, and here we're talking about you might lose a couple soldiers in a frontal fight of one squad vs one megabeast. oh, also special attacks from procgen creatures. actually those matter a lot, your sperm whale supersoldiers are still vulnerable to syndromes.

SPOILERS AHEAD

but uh. I mean, okay, they're never fighting angels because they're exclusively stationed in their underwater tank and can't travel over land to a vault (also, that isn't a common occurrance anyway and history/mission combat works differently from combat in the normal game area such that (i'm told) a few well equipped and skilled squads can successfully take a vault even if they'd be annihilated by the same angels if the fight took place in the fort. but demons you fight in the fort have grand master combat skills and there are *tons* of them, whereas even with the terrifying prospect of the metal bodied forgotten beast or titan, there's only one of them vs your whole squad. plus against multiple demons its even more likely that the vulnerability of syndromes ends up fucking you over.

i would have sworn that demons and angels can also get a full set of divine metal masterwork gear but i think that might be only true for archangels and ?possibly also unique demons in spires?. in any case, that uh. rather closes the gap that was created by being able to use dwarven equipment, and even overcomes it, but those you only fight one on one so you have the advantage of numbers instead of like thirty HFS clowns.

also uh, despite all of this waxing on about the power of having soldiers that are literally *even bigger* than megabeasts (by fuckin 20%!!!), i think its worthy of consideration whether you could just, yknow, have elephantpeople instead. just seems a lot easier, theyre still goddamn huge, probably a hell of a lot easier to have a whole squadron of them compared to dealing with your second-fort-inside-your-fort and needing to like fenagle to get megabeasts to pathfind through the underwater chamber instead of just sending a squad to kill them with minimal effort. plus you could preemptively hunt down beasts in the caverns to make it safe for your dwarves to go down there instead of needing to react. and like, we know that number beats size from existing dwarf vs megabeast combat. so its pretty certain that 5 elephantpeople drastically outperform 1 spermwhaleperson.

0 notes

thoriffix · 2 years ago

Text

you're telling me he gets THREE boyfriends???

words: 4.6k

summary: cole's dad assumes the ninja are dating, which - as far as cole is concerned - is ridiculous. of course, it sends him on a bit of a feelings spiral, and maybe he does in fact have a few crushes he has to deal with.

some polyninja goofs! set vaguely in s2 idk when exactly but uhh theyre living on the bounty and lloyd isnt aged up yet thats all thats important. also im trying out posting full fics on here for the first time! this is also on my ao3 ill link it in the rbs

enjoy!

"So, how are the boys?"

"Ugh, Dad." Cole rolls his eyes. Every time he visits, his dad ends up trying to get him to talk about the other ninja, and he doesn't understand it. "They're fine, same as always. Busy training, probably."

"Shame they never come to visit," Lou comments, sipping his tea. "I really would love to get to know them better."

Cole squints dubiously at his father, who seems to be trying to appear nonchalant. "...Why?"

"Well, why wouldn't I? If my son suddenly came home with one boyfriend I'd like to get to know him, let alone three!"

What.

Cole stares at Lou. He puts his tea cup down and furrows his brow as he tries to process. Dad thinks- okay. Dad thinks the ninja are his… boyfriends? The ninja. All of them. Boyfriends?

"We're not dating, dad," he says, after a solid few seconds of confused silence. Lou tilts his head.

"You're not?" he asks. "None of you?"

"No, none of us!"

Why would he even think that? Do they act like boyfriends? Dad didn't even know he was gay until a few weeks ago. Why would he just assume Cole’s friends were dating him? Or each other, for that matter?

"Well," says Lou, frowning. "I must have misread. Sorry, son."

"That's okay, dad," says Cole. His head is spinning, though. Misread what? Normal, friendly, platonic interactions between four close buddies? How could you possibly misread that? "What, uh- why would you… what made you think that?"

Lou hums, taking another sip of his tea as he thinks about it. Cole finds himself leaning forward in anticipation, and immediately feels weird about it. Why is he excited to know? That's weird. Stop it, Cole.

"You were the happiest I've ever seen you," Lou finally says, and Cole feels his stomach flip. "When you were fighting, yes, but even more so when you were just with them. The way you looked at them, I… well, it reminded me of myself when I first fell in love."

Cole really, truly, has no idea how to feel about that. He stares down into his lap. This isn't exactly a conversation he'd love to be having with the father he's fairly estranged from, anyway. Maybe once they were closer he'd be willing to talk about his nonexistent love life, but apparently it's happening now, because apparently he looks at the other ninja like he's in love with them, which is- well, it's a lot to unpack.

"Why so interested?" Lou asks teasingly, after Cole hasn't said anything for a few minutes. Cole’s stomach flips again.

"I'm not!" he defends, though he can't really deny that he is. When he thinks about it his heart keeps doing these little flutters. Maybe he just has a heart condition. That's probably more likely. A rare heart condition that only shows symptoms when he thinks about the idea of dating his fellow ninja. The idea of boyfriends. Having boyfriends. Dating them. Maybe even kissing them! He-

Wow, that heart condition sure is a doozy.

"Well, I'm not going to sit around and tell you how it looks," says Lou. "I think you might need to work out how you actually feel."

"Unhelpful, dad," Cole grumbles. His father laughs, and picks his tea back up.

"If you say you're not dating, I believe you. But maybe I wasn't misreading your expressions?" He raises his eyebrows and sips his tea meaningfully. Cole can feel his face going hot.

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters. "I'm changing the subject now. How's the weather been lately?"

–

Later, on the Bounty, Cole can’t stop thinking about it. What the fuck did his dad mean about him and the other ninja? He spends most of the day after he gets home stewing about it, brooding in various spots aboard the ship and generally overthinking. It doesn't make him feel any better in the slightest.

Eventually the others notice, because of course they do, because they share a space of a couple hundred square feet at best. Kai corners him on the deck first.

“Hey, man,” he says, slapping Cole on the back and joining him in peering over the edge of the boat. “You doin’ okay?”

Kai’s picked up a habit of checking in on the others the moment they seem even a little off, and he seems scarily attuned to when they’re not feeling great. It makes Cole smile. He’s a good guy. Much more sensitive and caring than his cocky outward self would have you believe, and Cole’s lucky to get to see it. Lucky to get to see his face, too, cause he’s sure easy on the eyes. And-

Cole’s cheeks go hot. Oh, boy.

“All good!” he replies, maybe a little too squeakily. Kai narrows his eyes suspiciously. His stunning, deep brown eyes. Cole scolds himself mentally. Where is this coming from?

“You went to visit your dad today, right?” asks Kai, and Cole nods. “That go okay?”

“Been worse. We, uh, talked a lot."

“Hey, that’s a start.” Kai smiles lopsidedly and reaches out, covering Cole’s hand with his. His palm is warm and comforting. Cole smiles back. “Wanna come play some games with the guys? We got some time.”

“We should probably be training,” Cole says, raising one eyebrow, but it’s more of a tease than an actual protest. He’d much rather play. If nothing else, it's fun to watch Jay rage when he's losing.

“Eh, what Wu doesn’t know won’t hurt him. C’mon.”

Cole allows himself to be led the relatively short distance from the deck into their room, where Jay and Zane are already battling it out.

“Ah, hello, Cole,” says Zane, pausing the game and turning to smile up at Cole with that sweet, awkward smile he always has. “Are you alright?”

“I’m peachy, snowflake,” Cole replies, grinning as he sits down between them. Zane tilts his head in apparent confusion. “I’m good. No worries.”

“Good,” says Zane. Kai sits down on Zane’s other side and picks up a spare controller, passing Cole the fourth. Jay nudges him.

“Ready to get your ass kicked?” he asks, smirking, and Cole just smirks back.

“I’d be careful who you threaten, motormouth.”

“Ooh, fighting talk!” exclaims Kai. “C’mon, I wanna get into it already!”

Zane sets up a fresh game. Cole sits there, idly playing with the buttons as he waits, and smiles. He’s got the best friends.

–

It doesn’t entirely clear his mind, but digitally brawling with the other ninja certainly makes him feel a bit better, right up until Wu finds them and scolds them for shirking their duties. He finds himself in the kitchen with Zane, washing dishes as Zane starts to get dinner ready.

“Do not laugh, please,” Zane says shyly. Cole blinks at him, and then suddenly realises that Zane is bashfully tying his pink apron around his waist. He feels guilty immediately.

“I won’t,” he promises. “Sorry for laughing at you for it before.”

“That’s okay. I understand it is a little silly. It’s pink, after all.”

“No, it- it still sucked for us to laugh. You don’t look silly. You, uh- pink suits you.”

It’s nowhere near a lie. Zane looks great in pink. He looks great in anything, honestly. Most of all, he looks great wearing the pleased smile that crosses his face at that. It’s infectious - Cole finds himself smiling too, distracted and scrubbing the same spot on a bowl over and over. He snaps his attention back to the dishes. FSM, what is with him? His dad’s comments must have got in his head. He doesn’t remember ever noticing the others’ appearances this much before, nor feeling this fluttery when he thinks about them. But then again, didn’t he? Weren’t they always this handsome, now that he thinks about it? Maybe the butterflies are new, but they don’t feel out of place, exactly. When he casts his mind back, maybe he does remember feeling a little fluttery whenever Kai puts his hand on his, or Jay poorly trash-talks him, or Zane makes extra dumplings because he knows they’re Cole’s favourite. He stares into the soapy water, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Cole? Are you alright?” Zane asks, placing a cold hand on Cole’s arm and pulling him out of his thoughts. Cole nods.

“Yep,” he says, and it’s not a lie. He’s just… confused, is all. There’s no way his dad was right, right? Not about them dating, of course, but about his, uh… feelings. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing? His dad, who he barely sees, picking up on Cole having a- well, multiple crushes before it even crossed Cole’s mind. “Sorry, Zane. Just thinkin’.”

“No need to apologise,” says Zane. “And, um. Thank you for saying pink suits me. I rather like it.”

He smiles, and then makes a beeline for the stove to start cooking. Cole watches him move perfectly around the kitchen, each movement graceful and well-oiled. The water's long gone cold by the time he actually resumes doing the dishes.

–

Dinner is perfect, as it always is when it's Zane's night to cook. Cole devours his own helping and then a fair bit of Jay's, when he isn't looking. Lloyd watches him sneak food off Jay's plate from across the table, wide-eyed, and then utterly fails to do the same to Nya, who notices immediately.

After the meal, Jay and Cole end up on the deck together, trying to make the most of the time before bed. The sun's gone down, leaving them chugging along through dusky indigo skies, a few stars twinkling above them.

"Don't think I didn't notice you stealing my food all of dinner, mister," Jay says, and Cole grins, embarrassed. Busted.

"Well, why didn't you stop me then?"

Jay shrugs. "I figured it would mean that you owe me! Besides, I know you love Zane’s cooking."

Cole knows for a fact that Jay also loves Zane's cooking. They all do. He doesn't comment on that, though, just raises an eyebrow instead. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep!"

He doesn't elaborate. Cole chooses to assume he'll be doing Jay's chores tomorrow. He rolls his eyes, and leans over the side of the boat. The moon is so bright tonight, illuminating everything in a pale glow. He chances a glance at Jay out of the corner of his eye, and sure enough; beautiful. Damnit. Why couldn't he have less handsome friends? And kind, too, and funny. And caring. And-

Jay catches him looking and scrunches up his nose, sticking his tongue out. Cole feels his heart skip a beat.

God damnit.

He has three whole stupid crushes, doesn't he?

And that means his stupid dad was right, too.

Cole stares down at the distant desert below them, slowly passing by. This is stupid. Feelings are stupid. They're his friends - his only friends, not that he really likes to admit it. Well- he still has Wu and Nya and Lloyd, but still. They're his team, for another thing. How's he going to fight effectively alongside them when all of a sudden he gets butterflies looking in their eyes for too long?

Jay pokes him. "Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Just- stuff," says Cole vaguely.

"Ooh, mystery man, huh? Bet I can guess what you're thinking about."

"Jay, I-"

"Cake? Video games? The fact that it's your turn to mop the deck this week? Dragons?"

Cole should've known that vagueness would get him nowhere with Jay. Annoying, adorable little shit. Instead he just sighs and nods. "Yeah, uh, all of the above."

"Ha! You're so predictable, Cole."

I guess I am, Cole thinks, leaning on his hand and watching Jay's smug face turn to look back out at the clouds. He's only thinking a little bit about kissing him, which he's going to count as a win. He continues to think about it until they go to bed for the night, but it’s only a little bit, so. He’s doing well.

–

The next evening, Cole finally finds himself alone on the deck of the Bounty, having spent all day in the company of at least one of the other ninja, all of whom are suddenly the most attractive guys in Ninjago and he might be going a little bit crazy. Getting some time alone is rare under normal circumstances, but while dealing with this newest revelation it's nothing short of a godsend.

He begins pacing up and down the deck, debating just what he's supposed to do now. Right. So maybe, just maybe, he has three new crushes. Or, more like, he has three old crushes that he's only just noticed and is kind of kicking himself about in retrospect.

He has a few options, Cole supposes.

One, he tells them all how he feels. The idea of this one makes his stomach tie itself into twelve different knots and then throw itself off the side of the ship, so he's not really sure it's ideal. But then again, if it went well… he doesn't dare think about it. The odds of it going the way he'd like it to are so tiny that he doesn't even bother properly entertaining the idea. This option isn't really an option.

Two, he picks one of them to confess to and buries the other two crushes down deep and doesn't think about them ever. This one is more plausible, even if the idea of choosing between them seems impossible. Any time he thinks he's settled on one of them, one of the others will float into his mind and his heart will do the flutter again and he'll be back at square one. Besides, he doesn't even know if any of them would like him back. This option isn't ideal, but it's there.

Three, he buries all of them down deep and pretends they don't exist. This one, as far as Cole can see, has no downsides. Nothing has to change, no one has to get rejected or ruin any friendships or teamwork, and he can go on having fun with his best friends and never think about kissing them at all. Ever. It's the perfect plan.

Of course, perfect plans often have a little snag or two, which Cole discovers as soon as he marches proudly back into their living quarters and is met with three stupidly handsome and loveable faces.

For the next few days, Cole engages in what can only be described as the most miserable game of tag he’s ever played, in which he’s constantly running from his own gay thoughts attempting to catch him. Every time he sees the other ninja, his heart utterly betrays him by trying to thump itself out of his chest, and his brain betrays him even more by refusing to stop imagining them kissing him, or holding his hand, or even cuddling. Luckily, it doesn’t interfere with their ninja work too much, because Cole is a professional, and their well-oiled team is second nature at this point. At home, though? Well, those two days of performing arts school he attended are really putting the work in.

It doesn’t help that recently the ninja have become more affectionate than ever, constantly checking in on him and asking if he wants to hang out, and there’s only so many times he can turn them down without coming off rude or suspicious. He’s been hanging out with little Lloyd a lot instead. To be fair to the kid, he’s a lot of fun to hang out with, actually. Plus, as a bonus, the ninja don’t seem to be quite as affectionate when Lloyd, Nya or Wu are around, which Cole is putting down to them not wanting to exclude anyone from their little best friend group.

He’s hanging out by himself in the sleeping quarters, reading a book that Zane’s been trying to get him to read and eating a sandwich, when Nya pops her head round the door and says; “Hey!”

He glances over, brushes some crumbs off his chest, and sits up, putting the book down. “Hey.”

“What’re you doing in here? Everyone's up on the deck, training.”

She steps into the room and walks over to his bunk, sitting down next to him. Cole shrugs.

“I was tired?” he tries, and she laughs.

“Nice try. Wu will never let you get away with that one. Ninja never quit!” she says, doing a scarily accurate impression of Master Wu. Cole snorts, and then looks at his hands. It’s not that he doesn’t want to train. It’s more that Kai had bumped into him earlier and for some ungodly reason had reached out to brush a lock of Cole’s hair behind his ear, and Cole’s now worried that if he looks Kai in the eyes he might actually explode.

He’s not gonna say that. He just sort of shrugs instead.

Nya pokes his cheek. “What’s going on with you?” she asks, raising one eyebrow. Cole looks at her.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “You’re acting weird lately. Around the guys mostly. You feeling okay?”

Damn. Cole cringes slightly. He’s probably being very obvious, huh? He opens his mouth, fully intending to make up some excuse, even if he has no idea what would sound plausible, but what actually comes out is; “I think I’m in love with all three of the other guys because my dad thought we were all dating and it made me realise I really like them all and I have no idea what to do about it and I was trying to ignore it but that’s really hard and I don’t wanna ruin the team or our friendships or anything and it sucks.”

Nya stares at him.

“And also I’m gay,” he adds, belatedly realising he's never actually officially come out. He’s pretty sure they all know, but still. Worth adding.

She takes a second, looking almost confused, and then laughs. “Okay,” she says. “Lots of information there, Cole.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, smiling a bit himself. Her smile is infectious. She sighs, and then pats him on the shoulder.

“First of all, congrats on the coming out. I mean, I did already know, so. Y’know. Still congrats!”

“Thank you…?”

"Secondly, that's really cute. You should tell them!"

Cole stares at her. "Nya. You gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not! What's the worst that could happen?" She’s grinning at him, with a sparkle in her eye like she knows something he doesn’t, but he just frowns.

"Uh, I don't know. Everything? Breaking up the team for no good reason? Losing my only friends?"

"Pssh, that's nothing." She sounds cheery, but Cole's not smiling, so she sighs and pats his shoulder. "Right. Sorry. Unhelpful. But look, I really do think you should tell them. They're worried about you, y'know."

Cole blinks. "They are?"

"Yeah, of course. If nothing else, telling them will get you closure, right? Your friendship is stronger than you think, and they care about you, so even if they don't like like you back, is that really the end of the world?"

Huh. Cole looks down at his hands. "I guess not," he admits, frowning. It doesn't feel like it should be that easy. Admittedly, the idea of rejection does make him want to crawl into a cupboard forever, but Nya has a point. She grins again, toothily.

"I'm always right," she says, smug. Cole rolls his eyes and leans into her. She wraps an arm around him. "Oh, and I'm rooting for you, champ. I guarantee it’ll go better than you think."

“Why are you so sure?” Cole grumbles, and she opens her mouth, and then closes it again, shrugging.

“Just am!” she says, slightly sing-song, and he groans. Why is everybody he knows so smug?

–

"Hey," says Cole, and only Zane looks up. Kai and Jay are too busy intently focusing on the game they're playing, which, honestly? That's fine. Cole’s feeling pretty nervous, so the less eyes on him right now the better. "I need to talk to you guys."

"What's up, dude?" asks Kai, narrowing his eyes at the TV, and then groaning. "Oh, damnit, Jay!"

"Ha! Get good, loser!"

"Are you guys done?" Cole asks, feeling endeared and irritated at the same time. God, why'd it have to be these idiots? They pause the game, finally, and turn around to face him, nodding. "Okay."

"Are you alright, Cole?" asks Zane, looking worried.

“Yeah, I just- I have to tell you all something.”

“We’re all ears, bro,” says Kai, grinning up at him, and Cole’s heart flutters embarrassingly. Oh god. This is gonna suck. He takes a deep breath.

"I like you guys," says Cole. "Like, like like you. All of you."

There's silence. Cole resists the urge to squeeze his eyes shut so he can't see them all looking at him. This is terrible. His heart is pounding.

"...I thought we were all already dating?" Zane says, sounding genuinely bewildered.

“Yeah, I kinda- are we not?” asks Jay, putting down his game controller. Kai nods in agreement, frowning at Cole.

What.

Cole stares at them all. He’s desperately trying to see in their eyes if this is some weird prank, or joke, but they all look utterly baffled at the idea that they’re not all dating him. They all think they’re dating him? And each other? All of them?

This might be the weirdest turn of events in Cole’s life, and he once had an old man on top of a mountain ask him to become a ninja to help save Ninjago from evil.

“Wh- we are?” he says desperately, holding out his hands in confusion. The others make eye contact with each other and then look back at him, nodding. Cole’s head is spinning. “For how long?”

Jay shrugs. “I dunno, a couple of weeks?”

A couple of weeks? He’s saying that Cole could have been kissing all three of them for weeks? He must look shaken, because Kai holds out a hand comfortingly.

“How did I not know?” he asks. They look at each other again.

“I do not know,” says Zane.

“We just sort of assumed you wanted to take things slow?” explains Kai. “And we didn’t wanna push you or anything, y’know?”

Cole really does not know what to do now. He goes and sits on the floor between them all, and then suddenly has a realisation. “My dad was right,” he groans, dropping his head into his hands in shame. This is awful. Not only was his stupid dad right about his stupid feelings, he was right about them dating, apparently. And apparently, everybody was aware of this except for Cole!

Wait. “Wait,” he says. “Does Nya think we’re dating too?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna tell my sister, dude,” says Kai, and Cole groans again. Great. No wonder she’d seemed so sure of herself when he asked for her advice. He feels a hand pat his arm slightly awkwardly.

“Are you alright?” asks Zane, sounding concerned, and Cole nods into his hands. It’s not quite settled in yet, given that this was the exact opposite of the outcome he was expecting and all. It might be starting to, though, given the way his stomach is starting to fizz with excitement.

“So,” he says, lifting his head out of his hands. They’re all looking at him with eyes that are far too soft and gentle and beautiful. “You’re telling me you all want to date me?”

“Well, I thought we all were for several weeks, so I’d say yes,” says Jay, and Cole partially considers dropping his head back into his hands. He puts them down on his lap instead.

“What now?” he asks. He’s pretty sure he’s just mightily embarrassed himself, so he’s half expecting one of them to go well, actually, we don’t really like you that much anymore, Cole, sorry! Instead, Kai starts grinning and adjusts himself so he’s on one knee.

“Well,” he says, making eye contact with each of them. “Would all three of you do me the honour of being my boyfriends? Officially, this time.”

Cole might be dying. His heart rate would certainly suggest that he is. Beside him, Zane giggles, and Jay groans and rolls his eyes.

“You’re so annoying,” he complains, and then leans forward and kisses Kai’s cheek.

“I would be honoured,” Zane says, seriously, and leans in to kiss Kai’s other cheek. Kai raises his eyebrows at Cole, the cocky grin melting into something softer as he looks at him.

“If you’d rather talk about it first-” he begins to say, before Cole gets his courage up and all but jumps forward to plant a kiss directly on Kai’s lips. They’re soft, and warm, and he can feel Kai smiling against his lips. His heart hammers furiously against the inside of his ribs as he pulls back and grins awkwardly.

“Yeah,” he says, slightly embarrassed by the way Kai is smiling at him. Jay makes a noise.

“My turn!” he says, and pulls Cole into a kiss as well, their noses squishing uncomfortably against each other and teeth clacking slightly. He pulls away, slightly dazed, and Jay all but sparkles at him with the joy in his grin. Zane clears his throat politely.

“May I?” he asks, and Cole nods, his head spinning too much to answer properly. Zane leans in and kisses him, much gentler than Jay, and then pulls back after a moment and smiles. Cole’s tempted to pinch himself, just to make sure this isn’t some big self-indulgent dream. His heart is calming down, convinced that all is well.

“Glad we got that sorted!” chirps Jay, picking his game controller back up. “Cole, do you wanna join the game next round?”

Cole has to laugh. He feels a bit ridiculous. Knowing that he could’ve been happily with them all for weeks rather than tearing himself up inside trying to escape his crushes stings a bit, but at least he got this outcome instead of something worse. Honestly, this is the best possible outcome he could have hoped for.

“Yeah, okay,” he says, and grabs the spare controller.

–

Cole’s dad opens the door not ten seconds after he rings the bell, which suggests he’d been waiting by the door for Cole to show up, which is either quite sweet or a bit weird, he can’t decide.

“Cole!” he says, opening it, and then his eyes widen. “Oh!”

Cole grins, gesturing to the other three ninja, who have promised to be on their best behaviour and are dressed in their nicest outfits. “Surprise?” he says, and they beam at his dad. Lou looks utterly thrilled, clapping his hands together and grinning.

“Oh, this is wonderful! Cole never brings friends home,” he says, and Cole’s face goes a bit hot. He looks around at the other ninja, who smile at him encouragingly.

“It’s actually, uh. Boyfriends, dad.”

Lou’s face shifts through surprise, to joy, to smug understanding. He smiles at Cole, who rolls his eyes.

“Boyfriends, eh?” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Who knew?”

“Lay off it, dad,” says Cole. “Can we come in or not?”

Lou steps back to let them all pass through, waving them in with pleasantries and greetings, and when Cole passes him he pats him on the shoulder and smiles, his eyes gentle and proud. Cole smiles back, embarrassed. He’s still a little bit mad that his dad figured things out before he did, but honestly? He can’t be that upset, what with the way it all worked out.

Okay, maybe a little. But only because his dad is being so smug about it. Otherwise, he’s completely fine. After all, he’s dating the three best people in Ninjago, so what’s he got to be mad about?

Cole grins as he walks into the living room to find Kai and Jay mid-bicker already, with Zane attempting to act as mediator. They stop when they see him, all three sets of eyes lighting up, and his grin grows wider. Yeah. He’s doing pretty good.

#grays fic stuff #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago fic #i dont rly know how to post fic on tumblr aha #hope this is good #polyninja #cole brookstone #lou brookstone #kai smith #kai jiang #jay walker #zane julien #nya smith #nya jiang #fics

630 notes · View notes

shoezuki · 4 years ago

Text

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp critical #tommyinnit #dream #im puttin this in main tags took me too fuckin long to write for me Not to #death mention #ask to tag

69 notes · View notes

feelitstillmp3 · 4 years ago

Text

i was going to dump this into @time-and-space‘s inbox, but then it spiraled out of control and became super long. so im making it into a post. heres some thinking abt doctor who/torchwood/class/merlin parallels ! (specifically abt the parallels between tenrose/janto/charlie x matteusz/merthur) (keep in mind that my knowledge on merlin is not so good) (also feel free to correct me if im wrong or add anything on) (also this contains spoilers for ... all the shows. pls watch them, theyre good)

ive been thinking about the whole theme between charlie and matteusz where theyre like ?? scared to lose each other ?? and how it totally parallels to the other things like .... we have one character whos different and immortal and alien (not to mention the trauma they've been through-), but another who is supposedly "normal" and human. so, they work with it right ?

but then theres the ever-present danger of what they have to go through daily, and the fear that its going to leave them alone. i mean, they've already been left alone, but now that they've actually fallen in love, its different. its harder now.

consider the following lines:

"i think of it every day, and the only thing that stops me is you." (class, e6)

"i take it all back, but not him!"(torchwood, s3e4) (theres probably a better quote but no think, head empty)

"i could save everyone, but lose you." (doctor who, uhhh idk but i swear the doctor said something like it at some point, pls correct me if im wrong)

and yes, theyve felt this before, the pain of their entire race being wiped out, no one left but them, and everyone seems to leave them in the end. but for one second, they stop and actually think they have a chance for a while. someone who might stay.

ALSO it works as like .... the normal person is scared of the other, scared of what they can do and how they are ....

consider the following lines:

"im afraid of who you are, of what you're capable of, of what you will do" (class e6)

"you like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all." (s1e4)

"what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" (doctor who, s1e6)

the person who has been through so much is capable of doing so many things, and sometimes it scares the other one. but they witnessed genocide ! and theyre probably traumatized over it ! theyve probably done some terrible shit as a result of it ! both of them are so valid in being that way.

and another parallel i have just thought of, mentioned a lot already, but the recurring theme of killing off an entire race and how that affected the alien character ....

consider the following situations:

doctor who - the time war, in which the doctor participated, and eventually ended. // when 9 was planning to kill off the last of the daleks in the parting of ways, hesitating for a bit, knowing that it would end up destroying earth in the process, making them no better than what the daleks are

torchwood - jack's planet and how it got invaded, how his parents died as a result and why his brother did everything that happened in exit wounds. // ummm i think maybe how willingly jack was able to give the girl up to the fairies to save the human race, like hes seen what the fairies are capable of, hes seen what disasters mass murder can bring. he doesnt want to see it again.

class - well, the shadowkin invasion, both on rhodia and when it happens on earth (both times) but also the invasion with the flowers ? // how much he really wants to just kill the shadowkin like ! he even mentioned it once ("i want to murder the shadowkin. every last one ...." e6) and he just wants to do it out of revenge. but “we shouldnt avenge genocide with genocide” (we're not going to talk abt how the only thing stopping him is that he would lose matteusz in the process)

but yeah ! theyve seen first hand what it like, and when prompted to do the same thing themselves, they end up hesitating, eventually choosing the other option instead. (well... except charlie. he does it once at least.)

and finally, immortality. this ties in a lot w my first point abt losing the other person .....

doctor who - pretty easy to think about, the doctor has had so many companions over the years, and each time they end up leaving them. even after he meets rose, who wished to stay together forever ("how long are you gonna stay with me?" "forever.") but then she ends up leaving, the doctor is left to continue on for so much longer ..

torchwood - pretty same as above, jack never commits himself to a relationship, he knows everyone will leave him anyway. but then he meets ianto jones. and it all changes, he falls in love, which he said he would never do, and thats why he doesnt ever say "i love you," because once he says it then he cant deny it any longer. once he says it than he will have to admit that ianto, someone that he does love, is lost to him.

class - ok, charlie isnt technically immortal from what i know, but i am assuming he probably has a longer lifespan than humans (basing this off this line - "you want to know who would be the last one standing out of the five of us? i would." e6) so ! its mentioned a lot (and is the main theme, as i said earlier) that matteusz and charlie dont want to lose each other. i want to specifically point out the line “every day i think, please dont go where i cant follow.” (e8) because it just so implies that charlie is different. he can go places, live longer than matteusz ever can.

going to add this onto the end here, but i just thought that actually merlin kinda fits into this too !

loss - the loss of his father, of his one childhood friend (will?), the knights of the round table (pretty sure a lot of them die too, correct me if im wrong) and even arthur who leaves in the end. everyone around him just seems to leave or turn bad

fear - we all know merlin is powerful, right ? i mean i swear it says somewhere hes like ... the greatest sorcerer to ever live or smth. and yes, arthur doesnt technically fear him, but if we think about what would have happened if merlin revealed his magic earlier, when camelot was still under the rule of uther and arthur was still scared of ppl w magic .... idk abt this one ndjnsjd it works in my head okay

trauma - had to get some help from @a-confused-contradictory-mess here and she brought up some good points ! when he was younger, because of his magic, he never really fit in. his mother made him hide, because she feared what would happen if he found out. (i ... think?) imagine what that does to someone, having to hide something about yourself for so long.

immortality - after everyone leaves around him, theres kinda no escape. he has to live with it for all the years that his immortal life goes by. this ties in a lot w how jack and the doctor feel, with everyone around them making them left all alone.

tldr: losing the one person they always thought would stay, one being scared of the other's power, the trauma affecting one of them, immortality and the price that comes w it are all some really good parallels between these ships/shows and genuinely kill me inside

#no good content only incoherent ramblings #none of this makes sense !#i am fully aware #doctor who #torchwood #bbc class #merlin #yes theres probably only a few ppl out there who have watched all 4 shows but i am posting this anyway #it took me three hours #and for what #i am probably going to end up making a gifset of this .... we'll see

47 notes · View notes

theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years ago

Note

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

14 notes · View notes

macklives · 5 years ago

Text

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs92 #hs92 end #i wrote more than i should have but i had a lot to say #just you wait for those analogy/analysis posts

147 notes · View notes

petewentzisblack1312 · 3 years ago

Note

Hi… I wanted to ask this on anon so I didn’t ask on your personal, idk if this is too personal or anything to ask but

Do you have a problem with people saying they have a mental disorder if they don’t have a diagnosis? Like for me so… I have been diagnosed with anxiety but I am like 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And like I know you can’t diagnose me so I’m not going to go into depth with my symptoms but ever since I was like, 11, I used to get very depressed to the point where I contemplated ending it but then i would snap out of it and I think for me my manic phase are hypomanic bc ive never experienced like the full range of those symptoms but my depressive phases get very rough esp if I have external stressors but it will go through what I assume to be these phases like sometimes within the day esp if I have a stressor.

I am in nursing school and I work at a psych hospital so like this isn’t coming out of nowhere, I am very familiar with all mental disorders and it was actually during my psych nursing class and learning about bipolar disorder that I was like… hm… why does this feel like a mirror right now. I am aware I should get to a therapist and get an actual diagnosis (if I had money I would lol) but like idk. Idk if it’s worth going to my doctor at my physical and being like “hey I think I have this” I am lucky enough now that I am in a good place and can manage my symptoms but I am terrified I will go through a stressor again and lose it so idk. I mean I feel like I already know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway to see your take :/

Anyway idk as a future medical professional I think self diagnosis got a bad rep and it’s like idk I think for mental disorders esp you can tell if you have anxiety and it’s a persistent problem. You can tell if you have depression. I know bipolar disorder is harder to diagnose but idk I think since I’m in the field it’s easier? Idk I felt like a sense of relief with learning about it and finding similarities and being like “well maybe that’s why I’m like that”. But idk now I’m feeling uneasy bc I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t want to be like, stepping over people who were diagnosed. Thank you in advance if you read all this and yeah I’m sorry I know it’s a lot and this is controversial

ok this is a long post so im putting it under a cut but tldr, no i dont have a problem with it. it doesnt matter if you actually have an illness, it matters if you find a solution to your problem. if treating yourself like you have a certain condition makes it easier to go through life, then keep doing what works for you, you are doing nothing wrong. this all goes for physical and mental illnesses.

im a firm proponent of self diagnosis. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have the confidence to research mental illnesses and advocate for myself. as someone who is extremely familiar with the medical profession on account of being the daughter of a doctor and a nurse and spending my childhood running around a hospital, im extremely privileged to even have the knowledge and ability to do so, and i try to bear in mind the understandable hesitancy of people without this advantage. i know that you are well within your right to refuse medication that makes you sick, i know that you can complain about a doctor that isnt listening to you, i know that you are allowed and encouraged to be adamant about things you are told dont matter, and in addition to that, i have a VERY well known doctor and a nurse in my corner, and i am STILL treated as though i do not understand my own experiences enough to have any authority more often than i am not.

the reason self diagnosis gets a bad rep imo is because people have constructed this boogeyman of the worst case scenario, people collecting mental illnesses they dont have for attention as opposed to what it is, people doing research into their experiences and making theories on what they have so they can manage it. youll often see the take of "i dont hate self dxd i just hate people who do it for attention" and i think thats very irresponsible considering a symptom of many mental illnesses is thinking youre faking it and doing it for attention, nevermind the fact that attention seeking behaviour is literally a symptom of many mental illnesses people often dont want to empathize with. gatekeeping whos illness is real just keeps people who need help out. i could go into an anarchist screed about democratizing health, but basically, as someone whos life has been saved by my insistence on self diagnosis, and whos life has been made significantly easier by treating myself as though i have the conditions that i theorize i have, self diagnosis saves lives, and i, as an advocate for disabled people of all kinds on my island, will never put any conditionals on self diagnosis. it doesnt matter if you find the right name for your problem, it matters if you find a solution that works. i have yet to meet any of these fabled people who never try to receive a professional opinion, only people who literally cant.

as for feeling guilty, ill repeat how i opened this answer: it does not matter what exactly your problem is, it matters that you find a solution that works. in medicine generally, there will be a wide spectrum of problems with overlapping treatments, things which are similar but distinct, things which look identical but are completely different and at different levels of concern. it doesnt really matter which grab bag of bullshit your brain is reaching from, it matters that you know how to deal with what it throws at you, whatever that may be. dont worry about getting it right, worry about getting it working. okay?

for advice on how to deal with doctors, its helpful to pose it as a hypothetical as opposed to an absolute. when i bring up things im dealing with that i have a theory about i say "i think i have x" or "i think i might have x" or "i have a lot of symptoms of x". doctors are often egotistical and are easily challenged so it helps to pose it at a problem they can solve as opposed to one youve solved for them otherwise they get spooked. in my experience posing it this way leads them to actually interrogate this line of symptoms, and theyll ask you why you think that, and you can bring up symptoms that led you to that conclusion, and ones that give you trouble especially. for example, ive said "i think i may have autism or adhd? or both" to several doctors, and they either agree with me (i believe its been put in my file as a possibility now although i cant get an official test done due to financial and resource restrictions) or they ask why i think so, and i detail what i believe is due to my autism. its small, but this reframing helps a lot.

i think this covers all you said but my head is empty as hell.

#dils declares #mental health //#hospitals //#i hope i hit everything!!

3 notes · View notes

dazais-guardian-angel · 4 years ago

Text

Time for my feels dump thoughts on Diabolical Box...! y’all, this game. this game. I don’t think people give it enough credit for... a lot of what it does, despite the messiness of the plot reveals... but it’s so special and unique, in ways I’m only now appreciating. also this is gonna be really REALLY fucking long I am so sorry, but I have a Lot to say about the ending parts... i just love this game so much...... so i wrote a fucking novel bc of course i did.

also i played this in October, completely unintentionally, so that’s noice.

The amount of voice acting and cutcenes in this compared to CV is amazing, I love it so much, even if it is funny sometimes the dialogue they choose to voice and then abruptly cut off a few lines later.

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about Luke jumping on Chelmey and trying to rip his face off and it’s just the funniest fucking thing omg; Hershel in the background going “NO LUKE THAT’S HIS FACE” is comedic gold.

Will we ever know what Hershel was going to say when Chelmey asked him what Luke’s relationship to him was... dammit Luke why’d you have to cut him off.

Hershel calling the hamster “generously proportioned” is amazing. also “I’ve always said that helping rodents in need is among the duties of every true gentleman” Hershel... please tell me what other situations have made you say that... please...

Why is there an entire subplot about finding this Karen’s dog, just to make Chelmey look like even more of an idiot? if they needed to pad the game out more, they definitely could have done it with flashbacks or in places that I’m... ahem... emotionally invested in

Flora’s treatment in this game is so infuriating to me, like... why did they think this was a good idea? What was the point of bringing her into the plot for NO other reason than to be kidnapped and impersonated? Was it literally just because they needed a way for Hershel and Luke to run into Don Paolo and get the box back from him??? Why couldn’t, idk, Katia run into him in Dropstone and get the box from him and save Flora, that would still get the box to her and keep Flora in the group, and it would tip them off to Katia being related to all this even earlier, and Don Paolo could still be shown there if he absolutely has to make an appearance in each game. I know it’s because he has to be built up and then revealed, and because Hershel always has to have a dramatic point-n’-reveal every game, but whyyyyyy does it have to be at the expense of Flora. :))))) It would have been interesting to see her reactions to Folsense and Anton and everything, and not have Katia be the only female involved in all this; maybe she could, you know, actually have a personality!! hahaaaa who am I kidding...

beluga: “it’s already been a year since she passed away” me: whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

Anderson talking about Dropstone and the sacrifices made to found it and how it can’t die out like “other towns”... with the song playing... whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

The sheer coincidence of Katia going to Folsense on the same day that Hershel and Luke would end up in Dropstone and then there, and on the 50th anniversary of the town... not a likely one.

Didn’t some versions of the game come with a real version of the train ticket to Folsense? I want it D:

i also want a real Elysian Box, like can i commission someone to make one minus the whole you know actual gold, please, i’ll pay aNYTHING- *sobs*

LUKE HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT HERSHEL IS AN ARCHEOLOGIST, AFTER ALL THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SHIT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH

Hershel to “Flora”: “you’re as white as a sheet!” Don Paolo, minutes ago while the others aren’t looking: *furiously powdering his face mask or some shit*

Why was Anton’s diary lying in the street though... it doesn’t make sense that Katia or Beluga would have it, and they couldn’t open it anyhow. probably just a gameplay thing that should go unquestioned but I want to knowwww lol. Also wish Hershel and Luke had reactions to the entries.

Ilyana tho. Also bootleg Clive asdfghjkl

I LOVE THE TOWER OF HANOI PANCAKE PUZZLES

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the obsession with the tea set... like yeah it’s fun to serve tea when you actually get it right, but I’m stuck with like two recipes missing and getting frustrated just trying and trying countless ingredient combinations on end because some of the npcs are NOT helpful enough in telling what to make :))))

Obviously Katia can’t reveal anything or say anything about why she’s there at all to keep the suspense till the end, but it would have been cool to see her working together with them and making a plan to get into the castle and help Anton aka I just wanted more scenes with Anton being nice and not flying into a rage over a misunderstanding ugh

It’s honestly pretty impressive some of the deductions/connections Chelmey makes in this game, despite his... other incredibly stupid ones lol

“iSnT iT oBvIoUs?”

WHY DOES HERSHEL RISK KILLING LUKE (AGAIN) WITH THE BOX. And why tf does it not do anything to them since they assumed it would...?

The biggest mystery of the series is how Pavel gets where he does, truly

The music in the forest is truly one of the best osts, god I love it. I also adore the Herzen Castle ost now, I never really noticed it before but it is WONDERFULLY creepy and heavy and melancholic and just... idk, those harpsicords go hard. damn.

Opening the Elysian Box is the best puzzle in the series, because of the meaning behind it. Or at least, it’s my favorite for that reason :^)

Alright folks so I’m gonna be completely, unabashedly honest here, and reveal myself to be the superficial, shallow fucker I am lmao: Anton is super hot and I’m still attracted to him even now, and I hate that we get so little time with younger him dklslskdfkflssd I AM SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY. BLAME THE VOICE ACTOR, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SOUND SO UNEXPECTEDLY DEEP AND INCREASE ANTON’S HOTNESS LEVEL BY 1000%... just. god damn. damn. the dining room scene. the lighting. the way he puts his hands down and closes his eyes at one point. the way he says Herzen. the freaking sass with “chalk it up to my bad taste then.” the little clap. his entire design which just oozes Victorian era anime bishie beauty. kudos to the character designer who was like “well they said make someone cool and handsome and i wasn’t sure what to do but i tried and i guess it worked out” GOOD SIR BOY DID YOU SUCCEED. how dare this man turn me on so much, fUCK. And I know it’s super shitty of me to not like his old design as much!!! but just!!! why the beak nose.... why.... he was so gorgeous and then you give him the Bronev nose treatment..... i’m already so sad over the ending but you make him look so much sADDER, THE SADDEST POSSIBLE DESIGN FOR OLDER ANTON. It’s not that I mind him being old, I just wish he looked more like himself... there didn’t need to be such a drastic change. But I know I’m just being petty lmao. anyway stan Anton for most beautiful PL character always 🙏 Descole and Clive’s hotness have nothing on this man

*ahem* But to get back to serious topics, replaying this now when I’m older, with the ones after it in mind, I think I finally realize why this game stands out to me so much from the others, making it my favorite. To put it as best I can, Diabolical Box, to me at least, just has a different feel from all the other PL games. Yes, it’s still definitely a Layton game, you still investigate a mystery, there’s still puzzles everywhere, it still has a relaxing city or country feel to the atmosphere, there’s still lots of charm, but once you hit Folsense and the climax and the ending reveals, the tone sort of... shifts? Not drastically, but enough that’s different from any point in all the other games that I can remember; I feel like Last Spector might have the closest kind of atmosphere to Folsense at certain parts, but even then the plot of that game is nowhere near to having the same tone as this one. Diabolical Box, when you really look close at it and think about it, is dark. Dark in a way that none of the other games are, despite the darkness some of the others do have. And I think part of that is because almost every other game/movie is connected to the overarching story involving Hershel’s past and people involved with him, and so the drama and angst is very much grounded in London or other places Hershel would be/was, and in his time, but Diabolical Box is unique in that the story and characters in it have nothing to do with him. And to reflect this, Anton and Sophia’s story is based in the early 1900′s, the Victorian era, in a city so far separated from, again, everything to do with Hershel, that if you were to just watch their story by itself and take the professor and Luke out of it, and you knew nothing about the series, you could reasonably argue that it isn’t from a Professor Layton game at all. What I mean is that Anton’s story could be an entire anime all on its own surely it’s not obvious how badly I want that, nope, not at all, completely separate from this series, and it would work; it could be its own period era-esque drama series, still with all the supernatural shit intact later on. I can think of a few existing anime similar to what I’m imagining.

And I really do think it would be amazing, because like I said this story is terribly, terribly dark, and sad; as a PL game, like a lot of the other ones, it can’t go deep into the nitty gritty of what makes Anton’s story so fucking depressing, but just like... Imagine it. Imagine being alone, for so long in that castle, so long that you don’t even know how long it’s been anymore, with virtually no one, after having your heart broken and being abandoned by the person you loved the most, and who you thought loved you, and getting no closure about it. This long post goes a ton of detail about Anton’s character and things he was probably feeling/reasons for his behavior, but in short, Anton’s mother is never mentioned, so combined with how distant he was from his father and the fact that he feels alone in his role in society and that no one truly sees him as a real person, it’s quite possible that he clung to Sophia unconsciously as a mother figure, and, in general, she was the only person who made him feel seen, and loved. The only exception was Beluga, but Beluga leaves the town and Anton behind after quarreling with their father, so... It’s just extremely apparent when you read the diary entries and his dialogue (with the voice acting) that Anton was always alone and terribly insecure, and that Sophia made him the happiest he ever was - and so her leaving him was devastating to him. He was alone for fifty years (and who knows how long it actually felt, to him), in a lonely castle and emptying town, his entire family either left or dead, his body slowly aging without him even knowing it, while he had a daughter and granddaughter born without even knowing it, and all the while he’s left with the misunderstanding that Sophia might have loved someone “better” than him all along, never getting answers, having to live with all that grief and guilt and blame and jealousy and self-hatred over a situation that wasn’t even entirely true. Imagine what your MENTAL STATE would be like, jfc it’s a miracle he’s as sane as he is in the game!! Not to mention everything that crashes down on him within TEN MINUTES AT THE END. Yes, Unwound Future and the prequels very purposefully heap the angst on with Clive/Dimitri and Descole respectively, like “we are trying so hard to make you feel for this guy cry cry cry” and I fall for it like the trash i am love them too, don’t get me wrong, but Anton’s tragedy is much more understated but in my opinion is by far the absolute saddest of them all. I just... i’m crying y’all, this poor man. give him a fucking HUG. Anton Did Nothing Wrong 2k20; he doesn’t even hurt the people he lures in with his vampire scheme!! he lets them go without a scratch!!! what a guy... give him a hug and blankets please i love him so much, him and Sophia- *sobs*

and also as a side note, I honestly think Descole/Desmond would fit perfectly into this game for a lot of these reasons, in the trend of “trying to fit Descole into the first trilogy”; he’s got the right Aesthetic™ for one thing, but mainly just he and Anton have a LOT in common...! actually, now that I think about it, Randall and Anton do too, but I much prefer the notion of Descole and Anton interacting. honestly, I’m toying with the idea of an AU where Desmond and resurrected Aurora end up in Folsense and solve that mystery themselves instead of Hershel and Luke; i think it’d be fascinating.

However, by the same token, as much as I LOVE this game and characters for all of those reasons... it also makes no fucking sense ahaha. How the FUCK does the gas work. The illness that started killing people when the ore was first unearthed and is the reason everyone starts leaving, is THAT from the gas I assume?? but like why?? cause eventually it just turns to making the town appear as it was years ago and keeping people young, so...? ARE ALL THE TOWNSPEOPLE NOT ACTUALLY THERE, OR THEY ARE AND ARE JUST YOUNG LIKE ANTON; I’m still not clear on this!! because Hershel at the end says they’re illusions, and yet when you talk to the npcs so many of them complain about being tired and feeling old, so what is the truth!! It would make sense if newcomers see the town as it is in the pictures, but there’s no reason for them to not age... in fact, I don’t understand where the not aging thing comes from at ALL, since if the idea is that the gas makes what you think will happen happen, how tf did that even come about in the first place??? There’s no way everyone who inhaled the gas would think the exact same things and have the exact same hallucination. And if fifty years passed in reality, how long did it feel like to Anton/others; surely it couldn’t have been that long if they never questioned why they weren’t aging? If the gas in the box put Schrader in a coma, what was his theory about what would happen? Why does nothing happen to Hershel and Luke upon opening it when they clearly assume something will happen? Related to other things, how does the box become the source of a rumor, and how does Schrader even get it? Do people just assume Anton is dead or otherwise gone, or do they know/assume he’s still in the castle but don’t try to see him because of the vampire? Does Beluga know Anton is still there, if he does it’s pretty shitty of him to ignore him, and why does he think the box has to do with the fortune of all things if he possibly knew Sophia wanted it and knew it had something to do with her and Anton (seriously I don’t understand Beluga, I really wish they’d done more with him; he looks so shitty even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knew the least amount possible)??? Did Sammy know that the drugged flowers related to getting into Folsense? Did Katia know how to get into Folsense, and what was she planning to do if she never found the box in order to prove she was who she said she was? Why do some of the npcs act like they know the deep dark secret of Folsense and keep saying Hershel and Luke don’t need to know, and keep talking about the town being cursed, like do they really know the truth?? Or not??? LEVEL-5 I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I’M TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS. EVEN LAYTON VS. WRIGHT’S STUPID REVEALS MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THIS AAAAAHHHH

anyway DB best game anton hot Even with all the weirdness though that makes this game the most Layton the Layton series has ever Layton’d lmao, I still love Diabolical Box so damn much. I love it so much, guys. It’s not part of a huge narrative, it’s not connected to the main characters; it tells its own little story and it does that perfectly. It’s so unique from all the rest, like I said, the plot has so much depth I don’t really see talked about, Anton and Sophia’s story is so beautifully tragic and underrated on a mature level that none of the other games really reach, and despite how upset I am we don’t get to see more of them, their love story is so impactful and emotional just from what little we do see, despite some of the oddities of how it plays out... they’re so sweet together and I cry so damn much over them ಥ⌣ಥ Iris is one of the most beautiful and touching songs in the series, too, and my favorite. And I’m a sucker for the Victorian era and cute romance lmao, so it just gets me like nothing else does... it’s so wonderful. saddest PL game, I will die on this hill. Even if I seem to talk a lot more about some of the other games/characters simply because there’s more content to talk about and there’s more to say about the more flawed content. you can’t improve perfection *chef’s kiss*, deep down, I think, this game will always be my favorite. ❤️

#professor layton #professor layton spoilers #meta #'thoughts post' more like Dana Rants An Entire Novel of Feels #but what is tumblr for if not this amiright #anton and sophia utterly destroy me and they always will #there's not much shown but what IS shown is so goddamn devastating and painful and bittersweet #i don't ship much but they're one of my otps so u know they good :')#i wanted to say even more here but i felt so guilty for how fucking massive this post was alksdfkfl;ss i cut some of it out already #i can kinda relate to Anton though tbh.... not getting closure on a relationship ending is truly painful; it's one of the worst things ever #so i feel for him </3 #and i love him #protect anton herzen always #and stan DB always

18 notes · View notes

mochuelovelli · 4 years ago

Text

GAAAAHHH OKAY

Let's talk about the Timephoon Episodes

This is such an old topic of discourse but after reading many fanfics, videos, and some posts on the subject I have found little divergent takes on the whole subject.

While commentators are of the mind that, for the most part, the punishment and execution of said punishment for Louie's actions were partially if not fully justified but how she went about it was wrong.

Some fanfic writers and some subsects of the fandom but they are much more critical and often in a more black and white interpretation. Which is valid for vent art. However, I find both these portrayals to be lacking in some nuance.

Specifically when it it comes to who's to blame for the next 3 episodes, and to me, its more than just Della (and Louie but there really isn't much discourse here).

Let's start with Timephoon:

This pretty much solidifies their relationship throughout the episode[Also sorry for no captions]. Multiple times Della is shown to have a very laissez faire style of parenting as she primarily wants her kids to enjoy being kids and having fun. This is probably in part to her personality in general - which is probably what Beakley assumes here - however it is also her want to be loved by her children and even more critically, she doesn't ever want them to suffer like she did. Above all else, she wants them to be happy and feel confident in themselves. We see this in all the previous episode with her and her kids - From Dewey and reassuring him that he doesn't need to prove himself to her [notably in this episode she only shows concern when Dewey himself is in danger, she doesn't give a shit when he almost kills her] to Huey and helping him to have the most fun he possibly can, to even Webby and making sure that she also feels confident in herself regardless in how she goes about things.

Bringing up all these adventures does raise some pretty damning hypocrisy. Della encourage Dewey's reckless behavior in his episode. The lesson at the end wasn't, okay maybe we shouldn't be going on dangerous adventures, it was its okay to be afraid and you don't need to prove to me that you're great I already know you are. Huey's message was similar, albeit more low stakes. Webby's lesson wasn't even that she shouldn't be trying to take such risks to find adventure in the future, it was just a lesson in not being disappointed when things don't work the way you want.

So why wasn't Louie's adventure treated the same? Well... let's look at some more examples of Beakley V Della this episode before we answer that -

This is right before the kids find Bubba, Beakley's reaction is what most people would consider to be parental as she is concerned for the safety of the kids running out in a hurricane. Again we see Della acting casual.

Once Bubba is inside and Huey geeks out about him, Beakley actually smiles bc she knows that something like this means a lot to Huey [keep this in mind for l8r]. She only gets serious after Della says it's neat without much after thought so she gives the lesson of the episode - "Small problems become big problems later if not prevented early."

Next we have Della's faux attempt at being strict with her kids. Letting the irresponsible thing happen as long as they are "safe". While also harkening back to her previous episodes where she also is shown to have this attitude that "the kids can do anything as long as they are safe with ME or Scrooge or another SAFE adult", it is also good to note SCROOGE'S expression here to her patting herself on the back for her parenting. Now he could just be confused as to why Della is taking this "lesson" as a win, but he could be noticing that she really doesn't know what she is doing but unlike Beakley doesn't make any attempts to correct this.

Another scene that people often forget when reviewing this episode, just like with all her other kids she at first takes LOUIE'S side and decides they should just roll with the punches like always. Which honestly is sort if valid because that's kinda Scrooge's whole MO; though he also had others to there to keep him afloat but we all know someone like Scrooge, Della, and the kids hardly see that. I also want to hammer home that, just like with the other boys, she doesn't shy away from displaying that she loves them ALL. A few seconds later, it's subtle but she is shown smiling and patting Louie on the head because like the other kids she just wants him to feel supported. If I was to be critical, I would say this is possibly because she likes the IDEA of her boys more than them but I mean - this is pretty much everyone's attitude towards kids. It might be amplified bc of her trauma but it's not unusual. But even still I would argue that she mainly does love the boys for who they are as she is excited to get to know them.

After Della figures that they are looking for a "master thief", Scrooge and Beakley immediately know it's one of the kids. Shocking her since she later states she is of the belief that her kids are too "good" to do something like this. I also want to bring attention, again, to Beakley smiling (ik im putting a lot of stock into expressions but animation tends to do stuff like this for a reason). She is smiling at whom she expects is Dewey for messing with time and space. Bc even if she planned to scold him, she knows it's just their normal. Scrooge seems to also be of the same mind. Later Beakley gives a really good line about "Even good kids can do dumb things. We got to make sure those dumb things don't turn into bad things like destroying all of existence!".

Mrs. B exists stage right

All jokes aside, this must have been a nightmare for all of them but especially Della. She had just finally admitted that she was out of her depth and made another mistake in parenting. But now it seems like she lost her chance to rectify that. Because for all she knows, Mrs. B will never come back. This is import-ALLRIGHTWEGETIT

Della is then shown explicitly worried about her family. Emotions, insecurities and fear obviously getting the best of her. We don't know exactly what she is thinking but we know she is terrified of the possibility of losing one of her kids. When she asks about Louie, she probably thinks he must have disappeared without her knowing. That she might have already failed more than she could know, because she wasn't there to protect him. She doesn't know - she is "Della Duck" and she doesn't know how to fix this. She didn't expect everything to go so horribly wrong, but that's her theme isn't it?

She is both relieved and understandably PISSED when finding that Louie was responsible for almost destroying the fabric of reality (let me say this again, nearly destroying the fabric of reality). She goes scold both herself and her son about the danger he put them in. Later we see Della, the last one leave and seeing almost everyone she loves vanish. We don't know how long each of the characters who left were in the past but we can assume it was long enough to have to change clothes. Yeah this was probably more of a visual gag but like, the other past characters didn't change their outfits when they came to the present so - (also Launchpad was specific about knowing how the world ends so he had to be there enough for him to understand it). Side note someones gotta write fanfic of these characters time misadventures. I wonder if Dewey and Webby ran into Agent 22.

[Last picture of the infamous scene, side note did anyone notice Launchpad NODDING his head when Della mentioned his time schemes could've cost them their future? He's the only one who knows what happened so maybe Louie's misadventure has more impact than we think-]

Anyways, yeah we know what was said here. But I think it's important to see the reaction the other adults (sorry LP, and Gryo i GUESS) have here BC this is basically why I made this post. What Della decided to do was unquestionably the wrong decision, at least her way of going about it and I will not absolve her of her many MANY mistakes. However, let's remember she wasn't alone in any of this. She was with other parental figures who KNOW more about her kids than she does.

After Louie leaves, why did they think it was good to encourage this course of action? Why did they think giving full parental control to a PTSD, trauma survivor who barely got back less than a month ago was a good idea? Sure it's one thing to not want to overstep your boundaries but are you telling me they wouldn't want to guide her in the right direction at least? We KNOW both Beakley AND Scrooge have their grievences towards Della's parenting strategy or lack there of. Beakley so far doing the most to try and put her in the right direction (which speaks volumes to the problems Scrooge has).

So why wouldn't they explain that, hey, maybe taking away the one thing your kid thinks he is good at ISNT a great idea? Why didn't either say anything about their two day vacation? Something that came up presumingly on a whim and might of prevented (although i doubt it) Louie from trying to steal w/ time? He might have considered pushing back time schemes at least 3 days later. While Mrs. Beakley might be less aware of Louie's insecurities and ambitions, Scrooge definitely isn't. He should have talked to her, and hey we don't see what happens before they leave so maybe MAYBE they did. But again, I doubt it. Seeing as how they all agreed with her at the end, I don't see them trying to meddle with her.

But they should've. They are both experienced guardians and they have nothing to say to her? Plus Donald (goddamn it i almost finished a post w/o him) have THEM responsibility to take care of the kids NOT Della. So they are obligated to help her. Really, the other option other than just well negligence would be not thinking this punishment was a big deal. I wish this aspect was also scrutinized just as much as Della and Louies role in this arc.

Beakley and Scrooge (more so Scrooge) are just as much to blame in what happens as Della if not MORE since they know of her situation in only a way that an experience adult can. There is no excuse for their negligence.

#god this was so long #i just need to rant #i hope im not alone on this feel free to comment or ask me about this crap i dont mind #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #della duck #mrs beakley #scrooge mcduck #dt17 #ducktales timephoon #discourse #i guess #this is misleading this was basically just Timephoon bc u ran out of space so part 2 maybe?

32 notes · View notes

gay-yosuke · 4 years ago

Text

alright its time for me to post about sonic now. nobody asked for this.

personally. i think that the decline of sonic games is. well. nonlinear of course but its a combination of a lot of things that have been present for a while. i started thinking about this because i had knight of the wind stuck in my head while i showered and i thought “yknow i dont think the storybook games were that bad” and it evolved from there. readmore’d cuz its a longass post

first off. one of the things that was present in the games people consider “bad” is eggman NOT being the primary antagonist. i mean. fundamentally this makes sense. eggman has always been the primary antagonist in the games since the beginning, so suddenly introducing these throwaway villains is kind of a shot in the foot. what comes to mind is sonic lost world and the zeti because its like. sega wants us so badly to care about zavok and the rest of them but its just kind of difficult when theyre from yknow. sonic lost world and, fundamentally, throwaway villains. now i thought about this because. sonic lost world ISNT objectively a bad game i dont think. it has bad parts and i think those bad parts are mostly linked to the zeti being the primary antagonists. now this isnt saying that any game with eggman as the primary antagonist is good (ill get to forces later) but it plays a part.

now i couldnt entirely tell you when “eggman ISNT the primary antagonist” first turned up. i would assume sonic adventure because of chaos? which funnily enough links into my next point. the introduction of a secondary antagonist who either a) becomes a primary antagonist in the same game or a later game they’re part of or b) is meant to be some kind of counter to sonic. you could say it started in sonic 3. since knuckles acts as a secondary antagonist for most of the game. funnily enough though hes actually one of the only that stops being an antagonist in the same damn game. hes like “wait a second ive been fucking tricked” and turns to sonic’s side after seeing eggman doing his bastardly actions. so i’d say it actually started in sonic cd with metal sonic. he’s a reoccurring antagonist (the good kind) and was made with the sole purpose of Beating Sonic. in sonic heroes he becomes a primary antagonist in the true ending and whatever. in sonic adventure there’s chaos who becomes the primary antagonist in the true ending as well. now again. none of these games are BAD because of this aspect. sonic 3 is good, as is cd, heroes, and i think sonic adventure has its moments. but again this is just another piece to the puzzle.

the next thing i think thats sort of added to the decline is the fact that. well. corporations. yknow how it is with game design. as a game design student i know that theres fucked up shit going on in a lot of places and sega wanted to make sonic like mario. nintendo knows they have brand loyalty, just like disney does. nintendo slaps mario or pikachu onto something and it’ll sell and they KNOW that. sonic, less so, because hes yknow. got Controversy. sparks arguments about good and bad games. im particularly thinking about sonic boom here because that game had such potential that was stripped away not only by corporate greed (it being forced to be published onto the wii u, which, ill be real with you, i forgot existed) and hardware limitations, but by a lack of commuication within the actual company about WHERE the game was being published to. also dont get me started on how sega shafted the storyline. thats for another day.

overarching plot in sonic games is kind of fun in my opinion. i like a story i can get invested in. one that makes sense and like. you know. adds to the game. and this is the part where i talk about sonic forces.

sonic forces is kind of the culmination of a lot of these things. its a pander to the audience who loves classic sonic (as in, putting classic there for no reason as a nudge towards sonic generations), it features a secondary antagonist who attempts to become a primary antagonist (infinite needs work) and like. objectively id say that the phantom ruby is a bigger antagonist than eggman is. all the things that he does is down to the phantom ruby, and i dont entirely know how the phantom ruby even like. started existing. but we’ll just skip over that for now.

so eggman has infinite who he powers up with the phantom ruby and he becomes the metal sonic-esque character of the game. he’s meant to be sonic’s direct counter which is shown with infinite beating sonic at the start. but infinite just kind of. exists. as a throwaway villain. and the thing with throwaway villains is that infinite creates clones of some other villains (zavok, shadow (????) chaos and metal sonic) and that kinda confused me like. okay so you create fake versions of all these villains who turned against you for various reasons and also metal sonic??? who you could just create again??? but im going on a tangent.

the one thing i listed that forces didnt really feature was eggman not being the primary antagonist. i liked that he was the primary antagonist in forces. i just wish the story was better. and now i get to talk about story problems in sonic games. and as a writer, youre not getting spared.

ive talked abt sonic forces and story. i havent talked about other games and their story. sonic 06′s story was weak because it was trying too hard. the storybook games were good because the story was THERE. sonic gets put into this position of being a character from myths and characters we already know are filling the other positions. it was fun. sonic lost world, i dont really know cuz i never played it but from what i understood, eggman took the zeti’s planet and controlled them with a magic conch, and then the conch gets broken and the zeti fight back?? i dont know why the zeti hate sonic or why they roboticized tails but whatever.

fundamentally. sonic games are go fast. stop eggman. platform. of course eggman can be substituted for other antagonists like in adventure’s case where it becomes stop chaos. everything else in it is adding to the story (or in a lot of cases where its trying too hard, it detracts from everything) and like. adding different things is kind of fun sometimes. people didnt like the clunky controls of the werehog but i thought it was fun having the differences between daytime and nighttime levels. i think werehog had potential.

its less related but i also kinda wish they did what they did in sonic x and had sonic exist in a world with a lot of anthro animal characters instead of humans. i think forces did that okay. a lot of games have human characters like 06 and adventure, and it kind of blurs things. it doesnt make it a bad game if theres human characters but its still kind of. weird.

but anyway this wasnt clear or concise at all i just had some thoughts. i thought some of the marketing for sonic forces was funny like the welcome to the eggman empire video so you dont have to take anything from me.

#texty

2 notes · View notes

illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

Note

hi i hope you don’t mind me being nosey but i was wondering if i could ask a few things about u being aro? i kinda just wanted to know how u figured it out? and also do u still get feelings for people but choose not to pursue it? sorry if i’m kinda intruding i don’t mean to, just curious

i dont mind at all darl! (actually...lowkey i love when people are curious about it lmao so feel free to ask more questions) also this is going under a cut cause it got longer than i meant it to lmao

figuring it out wasnt easy and it took a lot of self reflection and like months of questioning and doing research and then worrying i was getting it wrong. Basically i first considered the idea that i could be aro when i was approaching my 25th birthday. A friend of mine (the only guy i’ve had any sort of a fling with) had announced he was engaged and i was completely down on myself wondering why i couldnt get a single date when he was off getting engaged (not that i even Wanted to get married i just would have liked some attention). I figured there had to be something wrong with me or something about me that was broken. And then i saw someone i followed at the time reblog a post about being aro. I’d seen the phrase a little before but never really considered it as fitting me but i’d also never really paid attention to what it actually meant.

I don’t remember what the post was exactly, it’s probably somewhere in the thousands and thousands of posts i’ve liked over the years but there’s no easy way to check so . Whatever it said it felt relatable enough that I went and googled aromanticism to try and figure out what it was and if it fit me. Because I was already in a headspace where I’d been thinking about my lack of a romantic history already, a lot of the stuff that i read had been stuff i’d been thinking about anyway. Like Reader said in Platonic when she was talking about how she figured it out, I’ve never had a proper crush. I spent months thinking about it after my friend told me he’d proposed. I have very vivid memories of literally deciding to have a crush on a boy in primary school because it seemed like i should (again, i included that directly in Platonic lmao down to the boys name and everything). And every guy I’ve had an interest in since has been either a brief physical attraction that i forgot about as soon as I wasn’t seeing him regularly or something that I deliberately manufactured either in an attempt to fit in with the people around me or because i was kind of bored. Even the cute music teacher at work last year like he was hot and i wouldnt have said no to a kiss or whatever but i just didn’t have any feelings about him beyond that.

While I was trying to figure out if I was aro I read a lot of websites. The AVENwiki has a page on aromanticism and I think also has pages on some of the aro-spec identities like greyromantic and demiromantic so that was a good starting point for definitions. Google also gave me a few different forums and stuff where aro people were talking about being aro. A lot of aromantic resources are tied up in the asexual community though because that’s where the language and everything was first suggested and what it evolved from. I don’t think that necessarily helped me feel comfortable using the term aro to describe myself because i’m pretty confident i’m not ace but the more I looked into it the more stuff I found from people who were allosexual but aromantic. Anyway, I spent weeks just googling “aromantic” and seeing what came up and rereading what i’d already read and resisting the fact that a lot of it fit me. Then I spent a while trying to find like a quiz or something that would just give me an answer. I found a few quizzes but all of them assumed at least one previous relationship so none of them were any use to me. But gradually I started feeling okay with calling myself aro. I think part of my hesitation was probably also because knowing I was aro didn’t feel like a solution it just felt my damage had a name. The other part is that romantic attraction is not easy to define which makes it hard to identify if you feel it or not so the part of me that wanted to be Normal kept being like ‘well if you dont know you cant call yourself aro’. But I thought about it a lot and I read any aro related post that crossed by dash and then ventured into the tumblr tag and found some helpful discussion stuff in there and then I started calling myself aro just quietly, only in my own head. It took a long time before I felt okay admitting that I was aro on my own blog but obviously i got there in the end lmao. That friend, the one who got engaged, he’s the only person i’ve told irl though.

as to your second question....

I don’t think I feel romantic attraction. Truthfully, as i said before, it’s hard to know for certain and there is a possibility that i could form a romantic attraction to someone one day but i think it’s very unlikely. Other forms of attraction are different though. I can be attracted to people physically and sexually. And I think I could possibly be attracted to people in a platonic “man i’d really like to be their friend” kind of way though it doesnt come up very much because im not really one to like meet people. I like my own company.

But i’ve never really acted on any sort of attraction or feelings for others. I was definitely attracted to CMT but I never acted on it because it seemed like too much work. The was a guy who worked at a pop culture collectables shop a few years ago who i thought was very cute and I did contemplate asking him out but it just never felt like a real option and I sort of just ignored it until he left the job. So yeah I guess I do get some sorts of feelings and then choose not to do anything with them, but they aren’t romantic feelings. But like right now I’ve got no interest in anyone (apart from ben and roger but i guess they dont really count lmao). None of the teachers at work interest me and i havent met anyone else recently and it really isnt bothering me. Theres a guy in IT who i could possibly see myself fawning over a bit cause he’s handsome and has an unusual accent but he’s got the same name as my brother so i’ve already ruled him out as a no go lmao.

Anyway, hopefully that answered your questions! If there’s anything else you want to know or you’d like me to try and explain something more fully my inbox is always open!

#Anonymous #about me

1 note · View note

mieczyhale · 5 years ago

Text

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post:: #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op

my tags on this post:: #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings

my tags on this post:: #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories.

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them

#a collection of my dumbass tag rambles about the umbrella academy #for the ever lovely #hellomyguru #im definitely gonna be thinking of more pride hcs tho bc... Gay.#oooo i should make a post about my gender/sexuality hcs for all the siblings maybe?? ive seen other people do that and like.. i wanna share #but i also dont want to be eaten by people who disagree so... mayhaps not.#idk.#anyway. i knew i typed a lot in tags but uh... i wasnt aware of how bad it was. whoops?#mytuaposts

12 notes · View notes

caps-clever-girl · 6 years ago

Text

thoughts on endgame.

fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.

unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.

• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.

• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.

• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.

• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.

• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.

• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.

• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)

• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)

• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.

• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:

• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:

• tony’s death.

there are two parts to this.

one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.

but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.

in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.

one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”

i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.

this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.

i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.

tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.

i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.

well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.

and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.

#thanos might have snapped first but now its my turn #endgame spoilers #marvel #avengers #thor #bruce banner #tony stark #squeak.txt #rant #avengers 4 #captain marvel #iron man

15 notes · View notes

michaelmilkers · 6 years ago

Note

what is it, exactly, that your 'friends' were angry with u about? i dont want to be invasive and u can ignore this ask, i just think that altho im leaning in ur favor i dont want to decide whether or not to continue supporting you without all of the data. i.e., you could be saying something wildly racist, or you could have insulted someones dog. obviously completely different things that merit completely different responses. i can message you if u dont want to share with the general public :)

putting it under a cut

this

i said in the blacklist chat about a month ago “is circumcision common in latinos” for a thing i was writing which was not only something i couldve googled (which i ended up doing) but also incredibly poor phrasing and i apologized

i was sometimes too open about sexual topics in the nsfw chat (which was 16+) because i was under the impression everyone was okay with it because no one ever really told me it was tmi (sometimes i put stuff in general that i didnt consider nsfw but other people considered nsfw but most of those times i deleted whatever it was i said/sent) (also for the record i had a general rule against sending irl porn in the nsfw chat and so i never did that aside from like the first few months of the servers existence where i was still trying to figure out how to go about having a server at all)

there was a “jewish” role in the server that some jewish people in the server asked for but apparently some people were uncomfortable with the fact that there was a jewish role but not roles for other ethnicities or minorities. people communicated this to me and i was going to make other roles but hadnt gotten around to it yet when everything went down bc spoons

i wasnt open enough about the reasons why i banned people (which only happened a couple times) so people assumed i was only banning them because they disagreed with me, which wasnt true

i have a habit of publicly (i.e. on the blog) responding to criticism with passive aggression or jokes, something im aware of and actively working on, and its something i dont do in private conversation because i dont think its productive, in fact one of my rules in the server was not to respond to disagreements or arguments or discourse with reaction gifs or emotes or memes or stuff like that.

and this is the biggest incident, tw for genital mutilation and nsfw discussion, and its a long one so bear with me:

basically in december i mentioned in the nsfw chat that i happened to come across a video of a woman essentially sewing her vagina shut. i did not send the video and did not describe it in graphic detail. i shouldnt have brought it up at all, but this was another case of me thinking something wasnt that bad but it upset a few other people. because of the nature of the video the most i will say about it is that it was not a permanent thing, it was done with sterile medical-grade stuff, and it was a masochism thing rather than like actually permanently mutilating the vagina. i was browsing around the internet going down various rabbit holes out of boredom and i came across this video, i did not search for this kind of thing, i just watched it out of curiosity.

anyways, some people were upset by it, i apologized for mentioning it and that was kind of that. but then the next day i received an anonymous ask calling me a freak whos into genital mutilation so i copied the ask in the blacklist chat (tagging it any time i mentioned the video in any level of detail) and basically what then happened that night was that i received multiple anons over the course of a couple hours calling me a freak and greatly exaggerating what happened. i would post the ask in the blacklist chat, me and a couple other people would talk about what was said, and then i would get another anon or two about it.

from the start i did not take the anons seriously because like, youre fucking liveblogging a conversation YOURE IN in my inbox, and i stated multiple times that if they wanted to have a serious conversation about it they could dm me or bring it up in the server because i was not going to entertain this back and forth bullshit.

i called the anon a clown and they sent clown emojis in response, which is when it kind of started getting out of control. me and a lot of other people in the server were making fun of the anon and joking about it calling them “clown anon” and stuff. and then the anon sent an ask containing the sentence “do u really want to be on the team of the guy who watches pussy sewing for fun!” (directed at everyone else in the server joking with me) and i thought the phrase “pussy sewing” was fucking HILARIOUS so everyone started making pussy sewing jokes and calling the anon clussy anon and saying shit like “pussy sewing sunday” (bc this was happening on a sunday night) and “pussy sewing club” and shit like that.

i said multiple times during this that i was not making fun of the video or the subject matter i was making fun of the anon(s) and their dramatic bullshit, but some people didnt believe me ig. at the time i was maintaining the opinion that as long as its all sterile and there is no permanent damage then stuff like that is fine and its none of my business what people do to their own bodies, which i still kind of agree with? im not super sure.

but anyway a few people thought i was a shitty person because of this, one of these people left and the other two said they were going to leave so i banned them, one person was very upset by the subject matter and wanted to take a break from the server, i told them sorry about the situation and to be safe. when one of my mods came online and saw what happened she was very upset about the fact that people had left and i didnt really listen to what she was saying (something ive apologized for since then) but said that for the sake of the person taking a break this was to never be brought up again. i agreed and asked my other mod to delete the conversation because i was low on spoons at the time, they said sure and deleted it for me (and during on the incident on friday this person told everyone that i “made them” delete the messages and that they were too afraid to say no to me and it was disgusting) and that was the last time the situation was brought up until this weekend.

i had actually learned from the situation, both about the things i bring up and also the content i look at even out of boredom or curiosity, and the ethics of that, and i have since then not looked at anything like that online. the people in my server were not aware of this because i was told to never bring it up again, so i didnt, and no one brought it up to me privately so i assumed people werent upset about it anymore. so they assumed i didnt care or i was still looking at shit like that and just wasnt talking about it. i had absolutely no idea people were still harboring bad feelings about this incident and if i did i wouldve apologized again and told them about how i had learned from the situation. i explained all of this on saturday and nobody seemed to care.

multiple times during the situation this weekend i said that their criticisms are valid and tried to explain myself and apologize and own up to what i did, but apparently because im mad about them bullying me and getting people to raid the server im not actually sorry?? according to them.

which is more of them just trying to gaslight me and manipulate me into thinking this is all my fault and i deserved it instead of that event being fucking bullshit.

one person said “your criticisms are valid but the way you brought them up isnt” or something like that in quotation marks in an attempt to mock me but like,,, yeah thats exactly what im saying lmao.

so yeah thats basically it? those are the main things. sorry this got so long.

#Anonymous

11 notes · View notes