#asked at 3 to come at 4:30. bitch excuse me??????
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Ppl really start acting entitled as shit once they make an offer to buy the house you live in
#thereâs this woman whoâs made an offer to buy the house which includes the apt Iâm renting for one more week#and first of all. sheâs really been pushing it with giving notice when she wants to look around#law says 24h but Iâve been pretty lenient with that throughout this whole process#as long as I find out the night before itâs fine#but the last time she came (Monday) she gave 90 minutes notice???????#asked at 3 to come at 4:30. bitch excuse me??????#and then the house inspection was gonna be Wednesday morning but got cancelled#but then Wednesday evening they tell me itâs Thursday morning and Iâm like what??????#prepping for a house inspection is a TOTALLY different beast than prepping for a showing bc I need to be out with my dog for a good 4h#AND THEN. yesterday morning I look out my window and thereâs a guy????? walking around on my porch?????#my porch is around the back of the house and on the second story so itâs not easily accessible#when I go out to be hey man can I help you????? he says oh [buyer] is down in the yard. oh okay heâs a roof inspector. fine. whatever#notice would still be nice????#and then the final straw was THIS MORNING#I was woken up at 8:30am ON A SATURDAY by people banging around on my porch#the porch is on the other side of my bedroom wall.#like. come the fuck on are you serious??????
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Can we get riki x reader argument with happy ending pls we love angst guys đ
HI ANONNNNNN im currently on a break (or we could say inactive lolol) rn, but i could push this in!!!! I love angst too btw MY BIAS YALLLLL
+ school just started again sooo ive been really busy
ARGUMENT / n.rk.
PAIRINGS bf!riki x reader
GENRE requested, angst, fluff YUHHH
ABOUT you had an argument with your boyfriend.
WARNING swearing, argument. Reader is a bit possessive. All of these are a work of fiction. Ignore the cringe ass usernames in Twitter đ°
It was 7:30 pm. You were up scrolling thru twitter, frowning at every post that bitch made. Why the hell is she acting like Riki is her boyfriend?
You had a scowl on your face. 'Why are u so cute'.
They went on an arcade together. You audibly scoff. He declined your offer to go out with him just to be with that?
Honestly. That's ridiculous. Maybe I should unfollow her. She doesn't deserve my follow.
While you were thinking about ways to murder her, you were unaware that someone just arrived home.
"Hey, Y/N. " you jolt, nearly throwing your phone in the air.
"What the fuck.. " you curse out, placing your hand on your heaving chest. "Don't you know how to knock?" Your eyes widen. You didn't expect to sound so harsh.
"Oh, sorry if I surprised you." He rubs the nape of his neck. Your frown deepens. That's all he has to say? Ugh.
"You went to the arcade with Lei?" You crossed your arms, still with frown displaying your face.
He doesn't answer for a while, he was pulling out the tickets he earned from playing. He got a cute plushie too.
"Uh . Yeah." He casually says, still not giving you eye contact.
"Riki, look at me."
He looks at you with a confused look. "Why do you sound mad? Did I do something wrong?"
"Yeah. You did." You roll your eyes. Wow, does he really not see what's going on?
"What did I do?" He approaches you. He places his hands on your arms. In attempt to soothe you.
You backed away, causing him to let go of you, while your arms remained crossed. "You chose her over me."
"What do you mean?" He asks, with confusion. "Are you jealous I went out with her?" He shoots you a playfull grin, that was quickly removed by your hard glare.
"I'm not joking, riki." You cross your arms. Can't he read the room. You were genuinely upset, and it made you more upset that he failed to notice it. He doesn't respond, and stashed his tickets in a drawer.
"Hello???" You call out, peeking over to what he's doing. "Stop ignoring me asshole."
"What? I'm the asshole?" He glared back at you. Your eyes widen.
"Oh! So you're the one who's mad now." Your tone was a bit higher and harsh. He turns to you, mimicking your actions from earlier, crossing his arms.
"Literally, give me a break Y/N." He says, "She's just a friend. Why do you worry so much?"
"Excuse me? I'm no way near 'worried'." You retort, making air quotation marks with your fingers. "I'm just upset you declined my offer to go out!"
"Oh, then fucking swallow your pride and accept the fact I said no to you! You can't stand it it when someone refuses you, can you? You're being all bitchy to me this late at night." He raises his voice, his tone now also becoming harsher. "She's just a friend. Please don't make me say it again.." He walks away angrily. Leaving you in shock. You didn't mean it that way.
You're just....
"Riki! Come back here!" You shout. He doesn't reply and slams the door behind him. You feel water start to form around your eyes. You never seen him this furious to you.
Now you worry how you're going to sleep at night without his warmth radiating beside you on your bed.
You could barely sleep at night. Why?
Well...
1. You couldn't sleep without him
2. You feel guilty for being a total bitch last night.
3. You are worried of where he might have gone. Did he go to his friend's place? Where did he sleep?
4. Your worried on how your going to talk to him the next day.
This is bad.
Maybe I should text him?
You open your phone, a bit hesitant to text him. You were really ashamed of what you did last night.
Maybe I should just talk to him in school.
You arrived in school, nervously tapping your foot on the smooth marble floor.
Your eyes searched for him.
"Oh riki..." you whisper, your tone being impatient.
After a few minutes of waiting, you finally spotted him, walking with his older friend, Jungwon.
You suddenly feel shy to approach him, the image of his angry face still stuck in your mind made you feel so guilty and ashamed.
You realized your mistake. You shouldn't have been too dramatic yesterday. Riki can hangout with anyone he likes.
But to admit, his words kind of hit you too.
You gave up the idea of talking to him. You feel to ashamed to face him.
Riki on the other hand, is dying to see you again. He misses your embrace and your kisses.
He felt really bad for what he said and he wanted to apologize. He saw you earlier, you looked somewhat nervous? He was going to approach you but you just suddenly left. He thought you didn't want to see his face.
"Yo Riki!" He turns to see who called him, it was jake.
"Oh hey hyung." He said. Jake raises his brow, a bit confused with riki's unusual attitude.
"Hey, what happened?" Jake asked, caressing riki's back slowly.
"I.. I had a fight with Y/N. I said really mean things to her and now I don't think she wants to talk to me," riki says so nonchalantly, but in actuality, he wanted to scream and cry right on the spot.
"Well, you should talk to her," jake says, and riki rolls his eyes.
"Are you serious? I literally told you she didn't wanna talk to me."
"Nuh-uh! You said 'I think'. So means you're not sure if she wants to talk to you or not."
"It's just that... It could've gone a different way. Maybe If i didn't scream at her then maybe she wouldn't be mad at me?" He says unsurely, not knowing what to do. He misses you so much and just wished he was hugging you right now.
It was lunchtime, you said to your friend that you can eat alone. You placed your food tray with a heavy heart.
Sigh.
"Gosh, this day can't get any worse." You mumble, feeling no apetite to eat your food.
While you were busy playing with your food, you didn't know that someone sat infront of you.
"Hey, y/n. " you removed your gaze from your food to look who just sat infront you.
"O-oh! Riki..what you doing here?" You say trying to act casual, but he was able to see right through you.
"Why? Can't I sit with my girlfriend?" He playfully smirks at you, once he saw your red and flustered face.
God, y/n. Why are blushing at that?
"You've been playing with your food," he points out, "why don't I feed you, hm?"
You knew by his tone that he was teasing, and decided to play along.
Finally, he's yours againâ I mean-! He has always been.
..
The end
#enhypen x reader#enhypen angst#enhypen scenarios#enhypen#enhypen fluff#riki nishimura x reader#niki imagines#nishimura riki#i love angst too đ
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tag game: get to know me!
thank you so much for the tag @svintsandghosts ! â„
~~~~
1. Birthday? 22nd oct
2. Favorite color? green or purple, depends on the shade
3. How tall are you? about 5â3
4. How many pairs of shoes do you own? id say about 12 but i only wear like 3 pairs lol
5. Favorite song? currently it's regular by nct 127 buuuut don't ask me my all time fave coz like... i couldn't choose. it would probably be an mcr or green day song lol (or treasure by ateez)
6. Favorite movie? um well i love edward scissorhands and the lotr trilogy. oh and the harry potter movies too! school of rock... horror would probably be the descent part 1 only... ahh don't make me choose seriously i could list so many đ©
7. Who would be your ideal partner? idk... just someone who loves me for me and is kind, loyal... accepts the fact that i have many kpop boyfriends who will always own my heart đ
8. Do you want children? not really but i'd definitely compromise if i met the right guy and he wanted one
9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law? nope
10. What color socks are you wearing? none
11. Favorite type of music? pop punk/post hardcore/"emo", and kpop lol
12. How many pillows do you sleep with? ok so 2 for my head, 2 on the other side of the bed, my boomerang pillow and a big square/european one as well... so 6 lol
13. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my side but when im just chilling in bed i can lay on back too for a bit
14. What donât you like when youâre sleeping not having the fan on, i don't care what temperature it is. my fan stays on. (im keeping this answer cause same 100%)
15. Have you tried archery? nope
16. Favorite fruit? watermelon, blueberries and mango
17. Are you a good liar? no unless it's at work and i have to come up with an excuse to get out of going to another store or to not send one of my staff to another store... then im a brilliant liar. oh im also really good at lying about why i can't hang out or go somewhere if im not feeling up to it (which is most of the time lol)
18. Whatâs your personality type? istp. im very shy and the biggest introvert unless im comfortable around you, and awkward as fuck lol
19. Innie or outie? innie
20. Left or right handed? left
21. Favorite food? sushi. japanese good in general is just đ€ delish
22. Favorite foreign food? oh well i just answered that in the question above? japanese. chinese, thai, korean and vetnamese are amazing too!
23. Are you clean or messy? both but trying to fix bad habits and keep my room clean and organised but it's hard when your mental health sucks sometimes
24. Most used phrase?
probably what the fuck and the word cunt in general. oh if you ask sandra my 2ic it would also be i don't care đ
25. How long does it take you to get ready depends but if its for work about 30/40ish mins
26. Do you talk to yourself? of course
27. Do you sing to yourself? yes lol
28. Are you a good singer? hell no
29. Biggest fear? this is stupid and lame but spiders/insects/bugs/creepy crawlies... just all of that đŹ
30. Are you a gossip? not really, maybe a little at work but it's more just complaining and bitching about our shitty area managers lol
31. Long or short hair? for me? long hair. but i like both on other people
32. Favorite school subject? um... none? lol like i didn't have any one subject i was really good at compared to others i was just kinda average in everything but really really bad at maths and science
33. Extrovert or introvert? introvert
34. What makes you nervous? yeah people, public speaking... there's more but ill leave it at that
35. Who was your first crush? his name was matthew it was in year 3. i found out he passed away a few years ago and he had a wife and kid so that was sad
36. How many piercings do you have? just my ears (which have kinda closed up lol) i used to have my lip done too many years ago
37. How many tattoos do you have? one but wanting more!
38. How fast can you run? no â€ïž (lol same)
39. What color is your hair? purple atm but it's faded so i need to redo it
40. What color are your eyes? hazel
41. What makes you angry? so many fucking things. work makes me angry (not my team in store but mostly everyone else) i could rant about my workplace for a whole fucking month i swear. when i see people talking shit about people/artists i love. people who play games and toy with other people's emotions and use them... im gonna stop but i could list a lot
42. Do you like your name? yeah
43. Do you want a boy or girl as a child? none but if i were to have one... i guess a boy... idk
44. What are your strengths? um im friendly and welcoming, kind. i think overall im a good person and that's a good thing... lol
45. What are your weaknesses? shy, ignore red flags and forgive people too easily. scared of confrontation due to being shy so i don't speak up as much as i should especially when it comes to my beliefs and i guess in that sense i can be a bit of a pushover... but only in certain scenarios. i definitely need more confidence
46. Whatâs the color of your bedspread? black and white atm
47. Whatâs the color of your room? black, grey and white wall paper on one wall then just a neutral, off white colour the rest
~~~~
Tagging but no obligation; @alphadisaster @septicrebel @jin-neck-shaft @hyuckilstan @saynofakke
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I posted 5,874 times in 2022
1,359 posts created (23%)
4,515 posts reblogged (77%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@firesnap
@thespoonisvictory
@surreal-static
@geoguessbur
@snailsnfriends
I tagged 3,314 of my posts in 2022
Only 44% of my posts had no tags
#asks - 426 posts
#d20 - 182 posts
#acofaf - 168 posts
#fav - 127 posts
#exu:c - 54 posts
#critical - 50 posts
#spoon rambles - 39 posts
#prev - 34 posts
#^^^ - 31 posts
#neverafter - 30 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#like yes niki enjoys a good drawn out seagull eating bit and phil will do unhinged tts but who else would rp being stuck in a public library
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
ok fine Iâll say it. a good portion of dsmp streamers donât care about the story and maybe arguably they never understood the enormity of what certain people on that server were trying to create, the integrity they were trying to maintain in it. they see clicks, engagement, and an endlessly appeased fanbase that will accept infinite promises and excuses, and as long as you still click on that stream they arenât going to care. the farthest a good half of them got was âthis seems coolâ and then they streamed it and we took that and wrote fun analysis and did fanart. and as long as we all know that and accept that george and sapnap do not care or even understand why tommyâs house is so important, thatâs fine. as long as we get that certain streamers only bring it up to promote merch and others only bring it up to pull attention back, and we agree to watch anyway because itâs fun, thatâs fine.
but it breaks my heart seeing fans confused and heartbroken because they have to keep realizing that the vast majority of these guys donât care about this server in that way anymore
1,528 notes - Posted June 27, 2022
#4
the manburg arc being set during the transition from fall to winter like ok you hadestown over the garden wall bitch you really thought of everything didnât you
1,850 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
#3
I enjoy period accurate costuming but people who get mad at inaccurate but absolutely intentional choices in period pieces drive me up the wall
2,773 notes - Posted April 2, 2022
#2
the new minecraft lore is like:
there are no mobs in the cities. something is stopping them; something is either killing them or maybe even they know not to venture down there, that itâs too dangerous.
but down there, there are candles. there are wool pathways. there are redstone lamps. whatever civilization lived down there was smart, much more advanced than villagers. they had thick walls, and figured out that wool kept Wardens away, and made enchantments to allow them to run quickly and quietly. they had nether blocks, basalt and soul fire, and their buildings nearly resemble nether fortresses, or bastions. there were whole communities that thrived in spite of the threat, until they didnât, of course.Â
did they live in fear of the Warden? if so, why didnât they leave? could they leave? did they try to make a portal to do just that? their cities are intricate and their floors are lined with wool that children could run across and stumble over without worry and did they whisper, constantly? did they teach children legends of the beasts that would come if they didnât quiet down? did the children believe them? did they make candles on holidays and dare each other to set the skulk sensors off with small dripstone pieces? did they keep bees, or did they ration their wax carefully, trying to learn the secrets of redstone and soul fire to keep their lanterns burning before they ran out? how far did they get in their knowledge? why didnât they leave? what were they staying for, what were they trying to find with that portal?Â
why didnât they leave?
5,025 notes - Posted February 18, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I just. maybe I should be mad but Iâm not. Wilbur Soot is a cunt and this was a story about suicide and blue sheep and sunrises and utah and I love that he took a deliberate move to make it campy and insane and like all of the most memorable bits from this stupid server it is full of heart! his mom is a fridge! he fucked a salmon! tragedy and grief render everything around them obscene and hilarious and the fact that this story ended in such a silly way is the ultimate fuck you to c!wilburâs mindset that he is some ultimate dramatic evil. the world is ridiculous! you have to forgive yourself! suck it green boy!Â
7,567 notes - Posted September 3, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review â
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đ€đƧđ đêđđđœđđ„! đđ ïœđđ đđœđ đšđ”đđ§đ©đČđđ :
my favorite lines from my top 50 songs in my 2022 wrapped. youâre welcome. (if i feel inspired enough i will do pt. 2 with the second half of the playlist) bonus points if you know the songs!
1. âi love you but itâs confusingâ 2. âdude, sheâs just not into youâ 3. âyou can hurt me to the coreâ 4. âiâm outclassed and itâs outrageousâ 5. âtake a jab at my insidesâ 6. âflush your cheeks before he sticks to your breath and leaves you on your ownâ 7.  âcause all you've ever done is been a noose to hang on toâ 8. âyou tried to hide from meâ 9. âand i might be part to blameâ 10. âmaybe itâs just my mind driving me this whole timeâ 11. ânow despite my fears i dance for youâ 12. âhow long before you tell the truth?â 13. âi donât have a way to cure it, only band-aidsâ 14. âwell now itâs midnight and i want youâ 15. âyou say youâre chasing a dream?â 16. âiâve been in love with loveâ 17. âwhyâd you have to have such a damn good taste in music?â 18. âcause i know that i could not be in a place thatâs filled with liesâ 19. âdo you really think iâd leave you?â 20. âthereâs way too many vultures in the roomâ 21. âi say fuck it cause iâm still youngâ 22. âhold on tight let me blow your mindâ 23. âplease donât let me go crazyâ 24. âi donât know if that time is coming to an endâ 25. âsometimes i ask myself, what am i doing here?â 26. âyouâre an ice cream sundae with a cherry on topâ 27. âi thought you grew, but youâre still a kidâ 28. âwaiting for the text from my exâ 29. âi donât trust them and i donât trust the newsâ 30. âoh please, give me a breakâ 31. âitâs a human sign when things go wrongâ 32. âit kills to know that you have been defeatedâ 33. âfunny how you treat me like iâm new to this shitâ 34. âi got a mind like the weather, it always seems to changeâ 35. âyou said, it was like fire around the brimâ 36. âgood enough just doesnât make itâ 37. âiâm somewhere between a priest and a pimpâ 38. âi canât really play the guitar very well... or singâ 39. âeverybody grows up too fastâ 40. âif youâre so smart tell me, why are you still so afraid?â 41. âi need someone to hold through the wintertimeâ 42. âit all comes down to whether you love me anymoreâ 43. âiâm sweet then iâm sourâ 44. âwhen will it end?â 45. âi got no excuse, just a lot of painâ 46. âstill ignoring adviceâ 47. âyou say the whole worlds ending, honey it already didâ 48. âweâre all stuck in the machineâ 49. âtell me what youâre running from, you wont get farâ 50. âmy high school teacher said iâd never be shit, tell that bitch that i turned out just fineâ
#ɎᎠsÊáŽáŽáŽ áŽÉȘÊÊ ÊÊáŽáŽáŽÊÊÉŽ â„ mun things#feel free to use this for yourself :)#Ëąá”â±á¶á” á”á” á”Ê°á” Ëąá¶Êłâ±á”ᔠ†memes
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bound to you!!
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre: high school au, fluff, angst, crack, smau with some written parts.
synopsis: y/n is the new girl in town, she would like to escape from her past and begin a new life without any romance drama, but what happens when she caught the attention of a certain boy who happens to be one of her brotherâs best friends.
warnings: cursing (sometimes), mention of depression
a/n: hiii, this is my first smau, hope u like it (if someone actually sees this lol), i do this for fun :)), feel free to give me feedback, thatâs all for now.
iâll try to update everyday!!!
reply or ask to be added to taglist!!
status: completed
playlist!!!
profiles:
collective brain cell | sunghoon fan club
MASTERLIST:
1. forgive his behavior
2. you have nothing to worry
3. you are doing my homework
4. and i quote...
5. are you guys married
6. you know you are a bitch
7. i am blind okay!
8. I AM NOT THAT SHORT!
9. i hope you step on a lego
10. why aren't you intelligent?
11. itâs spanish you dumbass
12. excuse me????
13. why didn't you tell me
14. I am crying and it's your fault
15. you are a child
16. dont even know what that means
17. you sound just like adrien agreste
18. i tolerate him
19. keep lying to yourself
20. not like that you pig
21. he wants waffle fries
22. donât bother coming home cheater
23. it took you forever to get here
24. i will (eventually)
25. YOU ARE ALREADY CRYING?!
26. didnt we already know that?
27. keep posting them bestie
28. that's it?
29. achicopalado
30. if you want to be noticed you have to be late
31. get your ass back here
32. stay away from the mojitos
33. has anyone seen my sister?
34. what if i do?
35. blink twice if you need help
36. i already have
36. (bonus) are you hiding something?
37. he was abducted
38. you call this cooking?
author's note
#bound to you đ§đŒââïž#heeseung#enhypen smau#enhypen social media au#kpop smau#enhypen au#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#heeseung x you#enhypen fic#heeseung x reader#enhypen high school au#non idol au#enhypen fluff#enhypen crack#enhypen angst#lee heeseung#yang jungwon#jay park#sim jake#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#nishimura riki#enhypen siblings au#enha smau#enha au#heeseung au#enhypen heeseung
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Six Times He Met Her
Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, guy taking advantage of a minor in first chap, mention of underage smut in fourth chap, making out?, violence, mentions of blood/injury, main character death, adult language, angst
A/N: First thing Iâve written on Tumblr!! Tell me if anybody likes it, or if I broke your heart. And yes, I know Iâm evil.
1-
The first time he saw you was around 2:30 in the morning. Jason was squatting on the edge of a rooftop in Gotham, surveying the dark scenery below him.
Somehow, there was still plenty of traffic on the dirty streets, plenty of cars honking and driving around. Jason always wondered who the fuck needed to be somewhere at 2 am.
He fiddled with a loose seam on the Robin uniform he sported each night, hunting down the assholes of Gotham (pretty much 70% of the city) and putting them in jail, where they belonged.
At 16, Jason Todd technically should have been in bed, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and doing some rich kid shit during the day. Of course, his adoptive (long story) father, Bruce Wayne, richest playboy in Gotham, employed him to be his little tweety bird sidekick at night, so here he was, at the rendezvous watching the streets. yay. A scream came from an alley nearby. Jason stood, stretched his legs, and leaped down from the roof onto the ground. He pinpointed the alleyway where the noise was coming from and raced into it. A girl, about his age, had been cornered by some bitch dude who thought he could take advantage of this girl. Not on Robinâs watch.
Before the girl could scream again, the guy was on the ground and Jason was helping her up. She shakily took the hand he offered her and looked him in the eye. Shit, she had gorgeous eyes. Jason froze for a second, lost in her beauty, before clearing in his throat.
âHi. Iâm Robin, uh, you probably knew that. Are you okay, maâam?â
He hated the squeak that came out of his mouth. He sounded like a fucking 5 year old. The girl raised her eyebrow. She had recovered rather quickly. âYou donât have to call me maâam. Iâm not some rich-ass royal whatever from Britain.â Jason liked this one. Sassy, but just so. He inquired where she lived, and she gave him the address. With his grappling hook at the ready, Jason pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the sudden closeness, but seemed to enjoy it. Maybe? He didnât know shit about girls.
Jason shot the hook, propelling them up in the air, and landed on a rooftop. They continued this routine until he got in front of her house. It was still several seconds before he released her waist.
She started to walk towards her door, before stopping.
âY/N. Y/N Y/L/N.â
âSorry, what?â Jason blinked.
âI thought you were smart, Robin. Its my name, dumb ass.â
Then Y/N disappeared into her house. Jason stood there foolishly outside on her front lawn for a while, thinking about the girl he had just met. She was unlike anyone he had ever met, and he realized 10 minutes later that he had forgotten to ask about where her family was and everything.
Oh well. Bruce would be expecting him anyways. Jason shot his grappling hook and started home, still dazed from the encounter.
2-
The second time you guys met was two weeks later. Jason was just Jason Todd, a normal 10th grader living in the shadow of his (adopted) older brother Dick Grayson. Nobody paid much attention to him, and he didnât really mind. Mostly Jason focused on getting Aâs in class and then retreating into the library until Golden Boyâs after school clubs were over.
That is, until you walked in. It sounded as if you had just moved here, and for a minute, Jason felt a little sorry for you. I mean, Gotham wasnât the greatest place to spend high school, or any grade, in his opinion.
You looked at your schedule from across the hall and then up at the locker next to him. For a second, your eyes met his and Jason was content. Lost in those brilliant colors. And then you looked away and started walking towards him. He realized just in time maybe he should stop leaning over your locker as you stopped next to him.
âHi. Y/N. Just moved here. Looks like weâre locker neighbors.â
Jason was about to reply with âI knowâ but restrained himself. âJason. Nice to meet you. Congrats on moving to this shitshow.â
He managed to not grin like an idiot as you laughed. The sound was music to his ears, like beautiful bells. God, he was being sappy.
âItâs not much of a shitshow when youâre here.â Ooh, she flirts too. Jason smirked as you opened your locker and dumped your stuff inside, pulling out the things you needed for your first class.
The first bell shrieked just as you closed your locker. âSee you around, Jason.â
The small smile you gave him made his day, and he almost forgot to get to class. Yes, you were certainly one of a kind, and yes, Jason wanted you. The question was how to get to that point.
3-
You guys had a couple classes together, and frequently sat at the same table during lunch, so it wasnât long before you were quick friends with Jason. However, the next notable time you met was a little while after he got your number.
Jason was laying on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tumblr as he thought about ways to ask you out.
Y/N, would you grant me the honor of going out with me? No, too Romeo and Juliet.
Hey, want to grab ice cream? He had to make it clear what his intentions were. Then it wouldnât be weird if he kissed you, right?
Oh, god, if he fucking kissed youâŠ.what would that be like? Before Jason could start fantasizing, his fingers were flying across the keyboard and he had sent a text to you. What did he do, what did he-
Hey, I was wondering if youâd like to see that new movie this weekend. It seems like something you would enjoy.
Hm. That was actually pretty good. Where did he come up with that?
Jason had just started inspecting his fingers for some kind of sign of being possessed by smooth-with-girls-syndrome when you responded. He looked up and read it quickly.
Sure, Iâd love that! Thanks for thinking of me â€ïž
A heart. You had put a heart at the end of it. Did that mean you knew it was a date?
Jason sighed. He certainly hoped so.
4-
The weekend date went good. By the end of it, Jason was sure you knew it was a date. The second one passed, and then the third. The third one was when you hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. The fourth was when he kissed you actually. It wasnât a long kiss, but it was just enough for him to take you on a fourth date. An actual âwill you go out with me on a dateâ kind of thing.
He took you to a restaurant in the fancy part of things. You two ate food that two broke 16 year olds technically shouldnât have been able to afford, but Bruce helped Jason out.
Jason drove you home afterwards and discussed the topic of the upcoming summer during the car ride. What you were doing, where he was going. The entire time, Jason had butterflies in his stomach. He wasnât sure how to act. Was he messing it all up, or were you actually into him?
Once he parked in front of your house and walked you up to the stoop, you looked at him. He noticed you were biting your lip nervously, and god, why did he think that was so hot? âMy parents arenât home.â It was the softest Jason had ever heard you speak, but he knew what you meant. He smiled gently, and kissed you again. This one was destined to last longer, and before either of you realized it, you had opened your door and you were leading him to your bedroom.
That night was one neither of you would forget, and by the end of it, Jason had officially asked out successfully.
5-
You and Jason spent a lot of time together after that. You met his older brother, Dick (who was very happy for Jason, too happy in his opinion) and his dad, Bruce Wayne. Bruce was cool, but very busy all the time.
By two months, Jason still hadnât told you his identity as Robin, and he was running out of excuses. One day, you confronted him, assuming he was cheating on you. He tried everything, but he had to go out on patrol.
Jason left that night assuming you were broken up. The entire patrol, he wasnât himself. Truth was, he loved you so much he was afraid of losing you. That had become his greatest fear. It was that night everything went wrong.
6-
You were out taking a late night walk. Down by the pier, a cold wind was blowing, and as you walked past warehouse after warehouse, you pulled your coat tighter.
You were affected as well, and confused about where you and your boyfriend stood. Did you guys just breakup? Did he love you? Didâ
A scream echoed from one of the warehouses. You turned, afraid of stepping closer but afraid of leaving the person. Eventually, your curiosity won over and you climbed up several crates to peer into the window.
What you saw inside almost made you scream yourself. Robin, the hero everybody talked about, lay defenseless and bloody on the ground as a tall man-the Joker- whacked him over and over again with a crowbar.
You gasped, wanting to help, but you knew that would be foolish. You would just get in the way for a minute. Tears started to form in your eyes as Robin weakly cried out from the pain. He looked soâŠhelpless.
Joker relentlessly beat him with the crowbar, and Robinâs mask began to come off. You rubbed the tears from your eyes just as the mask fell to the ground.
âNo.â was the only thing that you could muster. Jason lay on the ground in the bloody Robin suit. Jason fucking Todd. There was your boyfriend, being beaten to death by the asshole of all assholes. That was why he kept disappearing at night, because he fucking protected the city!
You were mad at yourself for being so cruel to Jason without knowing what was really going on. You barely paid attention as Batman and Nightwing suddenly burst through the windows.
Joker laughed, and said something you couldnât hear from the outside. Probably taunting Batman as he watched his apprentice get beat to death.
A fight broke out, Batman lunging at Joker as Nightwing rushed to Jason, laying broken on the ground. You had just enough time to duck as a Batarang came swooping out of the hands of the Caped Crusader and straight through the window you were looking through.
It was then you realized how close Jason was to death, and what you needed to do. The window pricked your jacket as you jumped through it, but you didnât care. Gymnastics back in 6th grade helped when you landed awkwardly. Nightwing spun around, and it wasnât hard to figure out that was Dick, which meant Bruce was Batman.
However, none of that mattered when Jason was half dead in front of you. Nightwing- Dick- made no effort to stop you as you knelt in front of Jason. âNo, no, no.â You cradled his head in your hands, trying hard not to recognize how limp his body was, and how his chest barely moved as he struggled to breathe.
Jasonâs eyes were closed, tears running down his face silently. You were crying as well, mumbling curses and things that made no sense.
âPlease, donât be dead. Please, I-I love you.â
You watched Jason make no acknowledgement he could hear you, watched him breathe once more. His chest rose and never fell.
You screamed and buried your head in his costume, not caring about getting blood on your face. Dick pulled you away wordlessly, out of the warehouse. You barely registered that the warehouse exploded behind you a few seconds later.
Dick let you sob into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Him and Bruce exchanged a short conversation, both riddled with grief.
Six times you and Jason had met, and that was the last.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd angst#jason todd smut#jason todd fluff#dc comics#robin!jason
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DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD Vol.01 Sakamaki Ayato [TRACK 5+6]
Original title: éŠèŒȘ & ć«ćŠŹ
Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 1: Sakamaki Ayato [CD not owned by me]
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru
Translatorâs note:
Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10
â Â LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!
TRACK 5: COLLAR
*Cling*
*Rustle rustle*
âUgh...Haha...Itâs stranglinâ you, isnât it? This is your penalty for disobeyinâ me...By tighteninâ the chains almost to the point of suffocation, it makes the blood gush out more vigorously as well...When that happens, Iâll be so nice as to drink it. I bet you donât dislike this either, do you?â
*Rustle rustle*
[00:35] âIs it hard to breatheâŠ? Haha...Suffer more then! ...More and moreâŠ! ...Regret the fact that you betrayed me!â
You protest.
â...You didnât betray me, you say? Then how do you explain their scent all over your body? Aah!?â
*Cling cling*
[01:04] âAhaha...Did they mark you like some dog would, perhaps? Puttinâ their scent all over you to show that you are theirs. HahahaâŠ! That would be kinda funny.â
*Rustle*
âCome on, if you donât answer me, Iâm only gonna strangle you more. You already seem to be strugglinâ to breathe quite a bit?â
*Rustle rustle*
[01:32] âYou look pathetic, like a goldfish out of water gasping for air, hahahaâŠWell, I donât care if you die or whatever. ăŒăŒ Iâll at least savor your delicious blood to my heartâs content. Hahaha. Guess Iâll go for this place next.â
*Cling*
âChichinashi. Iâm gonna suck from your shoulder now. Iâd say this is a pretty convenient choice while Iâm stranglinâ you. Fortunately, thereâs none of their marks left behind here either.Â
You writhe around.
[02:15] âWhat are you squirminâ for? Do you want me to hurry up? Hahaha. Sure thing.â
*Sluuuurp*
âHah...Iâm starvinâ today. Iâm hungry.â
He bites you.
âMm...NnâŠâ
*Gulp*
âDeeper...MmhâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âHah...Mmh...NnâŠHah! HaahâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
[03:06] âHah...Delicious...Iâll plunge my fangs down to the core...Iâll taint even the places they could only dream of reachinâ...MmhâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âNnâŠMm...Hah...MmhâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âItâs hot...Scorchinâ...â
*Cling cling*
[03:45] âHahaha...Ahaha! You finally stopped cryinâ thanks to these chains, huh? Chichinashi, you like this new collar I got you, donât you?â
*Cling cling*
âIf I knew this would happen, I wouldâve kept a chain âround your neck the whole timeâŠHahnâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âMm...Nn...HahâŠâ
You start to grow dizzy.
[04:26] â...Oi! Get a grip! You can still keep goinâ, right? Haah...Iâve gotten pretty heated as wellâŠâ
You beg for mercy.
âHahahaâŠâForgive meâ? For what? I thought you said you didnât betray me earlier?â
You explain.
âHah? It hurts? Of course it does.â
*Rustle*
[05:02] âIâm makinâ it hurt after all.â
*Cling cling*
âYou love how I push you to the very edge, donât you? Hahaha...Iâll make them even tighterâŠâ
*Cling cling*
âHahaha...How pathetic. Close your mouth at least. Youâre makinâ a dumb expression. Ah. But I guess you canât breathe if you do.â
*Sluuuurp*
[05:39] âI love that look on your face. Look at you droolinâ from pure bliss...Guess youâre really no different from a dog now. You bitch! (1) However, I canât get enough of your blood when youâre like this. MmhâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âNn...MmhâŠâ
*Gulp*
[06:10] âHaah...This is bad...The taste of your blood has gotten richer again...Stop reactinâ in this way...This taste...AhăŒâ
*Sluuuurp*
âHahn...MmâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
[06:36] âHah...Itâs hella sweet...Seems like youâre enjoyinâ it more than usual today...I can easily tell how you feel, just by suckinâ your blood. Didnât I tell you earlier? I really donât need to ask for your innermost thoughts. HahnâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
[07:06] âMm...NnâŠHahn...Mmh...HahăŒ! Haah...Hahaha...Your shoulderâs covered in holes. Now if I brand you with my mark here, I might just feel satisfied.â
TRACK 6: JEALOUSY
*Rustle rustle*
âFufufuâŠâ
*Cling*
âThere. I loosened the chains.â
You gasp for air.
âSeems like youâre completely worn out. What a turn off. ...Well, not that I was expectinâ any kind of appeal from a Chichinashi.â
You protest.
â...Aah!? Excuse me? Try sayinâ that againâŠâ
You repeat yourself.
[00:39] âMe? Jealous? PfftăŒ Ahaha...Hahahaha! Are you dumb!? Guess youâve finally lost it âcause of them, huh? ăŒăŒ CUT THE CRAP! How many times do I have to tell you that I wonât let myself get pushed âround by some kiddie feelings!?â
You flinch.
âIâm pissed offâŠâcause they had the nerve to take my prey. Thatâs all!â
*Cling*
[01:17] âChichinashi. Seems like you havenât experienced enough pain just yet, seeinâ as you still have the time to make those kind of cheeky remarks. In other wordsăŒăŒ Youâre just trying to catch my attention, arenât you? Hahaha...Sure. Iâll play along. I wonât show any mercy todayâŠâ
*Rustle*
âNot until you admit that youâre my prey.â
*Cling cling*
[01:49] âHmph. You look hopeful. I get it. You seem to believe that youâve fallen head over heels for me, but thatâs a misunderstandinâ on your part. HahaâŠâ
*Rustle*
âShall I teach you? Who you love isnât me. ...Itâs these bad boys.â
Ayato bites you.
âHahn...Mmh...NnâŠâ
*Gulp*
âHaah...MmhâŠNnâŠHahâŠâ
*Rustle*
[02:45] âWell would you look at that? Youâve got that dreamy look in your eyes again. You just love these fangs to bits, donât you, hm? HahnâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âMmh...NnâŠâ
*Gulp*
âHah...NnâŠMmh...HahăŒ!â
*Rustle rustle*
[03:16] âI figured that one out long ago. So you really are a traitor after all, Chichinashi.â
*Rustle*
âHahn...MmâŠâ
*Gulp*
âFuckâŠ! The blood turned foul all of a sudden! ...Whatâs wrong, Chichinashi? Doesnât it feel good, huh!?â
*Rustle rustle*
[03:49] âYour blood doesnât taste good unless you enjoy it.â
You frown.
âAre you actually hurt by my words? HahahaâŠâ
*Cling cling*
âOh well, whatever. As soon as I plunge in these fangs you love so much, youâll start feelinâ it in no time.â
You protest.
[04:18] âHuman âsentimentsâ are only worth that much after all. You give in to momentary pleasure so easily.âÂ
*Rustle*
âItâs startinâ to get to me as well...My headâs spinninâ...Hahaha...But you know. I still want more of your blood. No matter how much I suck, thereâs always room for more. Is this their trap? Are they tryinâ to numb my senses and have me kill you? HahahaâŠâ
*Rustle rustle*
[05:08] âGuess theyâre hopinâ Iâll violate your body all over with these fangs of mine...Hahaha...That sounds like the kind of plan a bunch of shitbags would come up with. ăŒăŒ I donât like it. However, even though I know their intentions, I just donât quite feel like myself...My desires are overflowinâ...They must have drugged me in some way as well! ...Haah, haah...I canât stop myself!â
He latches onto you once more.
âHahn...Mmh...NnâŠâ
*Gulp*
*Sluuuurp*
âHahăŒ! ...Mmh...NnâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
[06:15] âHaah, haahâŠItâs like Iâm beinâ controlled by them...Fuck! Why are they doinâ this, for realâŠ!? HahnâŠâ
*Gulp*
âMm...Hah...Haah, haah...Oi, Chichinashi. Open your eyes.â
*Smack*
âCome on. Look at me.â
You slowly open your eyes.
[06:53] âLook at that ecstatic look in your eyes. You can act as vulnerable as you want, I can see right through it. How many times do I have to tell you? ăŒăŒ The way you taste speaks louder than a thousand words. HahahaâŠâ
*Sluuuurp*
âItâs oozinâ out of the wounds...Aah...This wonât do...Itâs not nearly enough!â
*Rustle*
[07:30] âOi, Chichinashi. Have you lost the energy to respond? Makes sense, I guess. Those guys already got a taste of you before me after all. How many of them were there? About four of them, right? Hahaha...Thatâs pretty amazinâ ChichinashiâŠâ
*Rustle*
âDid you think I wouldnât notice? But I can. Youâre covered in marks which arenât mine after all. Hahaha...AahăŒ Iâm so pissed off, itâs makinâ me laugh. Hahaha!â
*Cling cling*
[08:21] âI canât believe I still crave your blood, even though Iâm this mad...Fuck! I know that Iâm playinâ straight into their hand, yet IăŒăŒ Kuh!â
*Rustle*
âHaah...I still want moreâŠâ
ăŒăŒ TO BE CONTINUED ăŒăŒ
Translation notes
(1) He just says âyou dog!â (inu) in Japanese. However, since I just used âdogâ in the previous sentence and a female dog is called a âbitchâ in English, I decided to switch it up. It definitely sounds more degrading this way as well.
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#ayato sakamaki#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers more blood#diabolik lovers drama cd#drama cd
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Heyo! I heard you were open for requests, so I thought if I can ask for a fluffly prompt of 18? Like Jon kent x batsis? ( I noticed this dude don't get much love at all.) Maybe it has like a tiny (big) crush on batsis, and accidentally ends up following her. But don't rush your self, I know you got alot to do. I'll wait! Ty! (This is alot of reading, sorry.)
Pairing: Jon Kent x Fem!reader
Prompts: Prompt list 18-âCare to explain why youâve been following me for 6 blocks?â (Apparently âcare to explain *inster text here*â is a common prompt theme on my list)
Summary: Jon Kent meets the one and only batsis (thatâs you) and being the idiot he is, falls madly in love... naturally.
A/n: Ok so this took a while and i didnât like where it was going for a while but after some editing i actually really like how this turned out! (Also sorry this took so long life hit me like bitch this past week) And Jon and the reader are about 15 16 ish here which makes damian 19ish. Masterlist
Word count: 1.5k itâs not a super long thing but iâm pretty pleased with that number
Code: y/n=your name
Not So Super Stelthy
Jon Kent floated in a small circle about 4 feet above the ground, trying his best not to fall asleep. He had been watching Damian watch security footage on the batcomputer for 30 minutes and he was bored out of his mind.
âWhat are you even looking for?â Jon asked, letting himself land and walking over to the computer.
âProof.â Damian replied, too focused on the tape to give more than a one word answer.
âRight, of course the proof,â Jon nodded his head before pausing awkwardly.
Damian sighed and paused the video. âYou have no idea what iâm talking about.â
âNope.â
âAnd youâre extremely bored.â
âYup.â Jon rocked back on his heels, dragging out the Y sound.
âFine then, you can look around the cave but donât touch anything. Got it?â Damin said sternly, knowing that if he didnât give Jon something to do he'd start asking questions nonstop.
âReally! I can go explore by myself!â He exclaimed, instantly more energetic. âI promise i wonât break anything!â He called flying swiftly out of the room before Damian could change his mind.
He walked down a random hallway looking at the various souvenirs on the walls. He heard some grunting and the sound metal against metal coming from a room down the hall. He made his way toward the sound using his super hearing to try and figure out who it was.
âThat was so not fair!â An unknown female voice exclaimed.
âTechnically thatâs not stated in the rules.â a smug voice shot back. Jon recognized it to be Timâs but he still didnât know who the other person was. He kept walking towards the sound until he found a large open room with weapons on the walls and mats on the floor.
In the middle of the room he saw two people holding metal bow staffs and walking around each other.
âWell it was implied.â The girl said before charging Tim. She swung at his left but he blocked and twirled the bow staff around to hit her in the side. She stumbled back but quickly regained her balance and came at him again, this time faking a hit to the right before sweeping his legs out from under him so he landed on his back. His staff rolled away and it was very clear that he had lost that fight.
âYES!â The girl cheered âI win and you owe me 20 bucks.â She boasted in a sing-song voice, reaching out her hand to help Tim up.
âYeah yeah I get it.â Tim grabbed her hand and hoisted himself up sounding annoyed at his defeat. The girl turned around and walked towards the bench where a plastic half empty water bottle sat. That was when Jon saw her face for the first time, that was also when she noticed Jon.
âOh hey Superboy.â She said, sounding slightly confused as to why the Metropolis hero would be in the batcave.
âJon?â Tim asked, turning towards him. âWhat are you doing here?â He smiled and walked over to rest his elbow on the girl's shoulder.
âHi sorry i didnât mean to bother you I was just uh exploring.â Jon said, semi awkwardly. âDamianâs doing some research on the computer and I guess he didnât want me distracting him.â He pointed sheepishly towards the room where Damian was still watching security tapes.
The girl laughed and shrugged Tims arm away. âWell definitely donât take that personally. Damianâs not really one for conversation. Iâm y/n by the way.â
He remembered Damian mentioning her here and there but heâd never met her before. âIâm Jon, but you know that already.â
She laughed again which made him smile. âWell Jon itâs nice to meet you.â
âThere you are.â Damian rounded the corner. âI have the proof but we need to hurry if weâre going to get there in time.â
âYou better get going before Damian pulls a kryptonite katana on you.â y/n joked waving over at the very grumpy looking teenager.
âYeah,â Jon laughed. âWait? Does he really have one of those?â his smile was replaced with slight concern for his own safety.
âSuperboy. Letâs go.â Damian sounded impatient, although he always sounded like that.
âSorry iâm coming.â Jon began flying over to him. âBye y/n!â he called before turning the corner and disappearing.
âBye Jon.â Y/n leaned on the door frame and watched him fly off, a small smile on her face.
âUmm what was that?â Tim asked a very confused look on his face.
âWhat was what?â she turned around
âOh I don't know, maybe the whole âoh hi iâm y/n nice to meet youâ thing?â
âOk I know you donât talk to people very often but typically when you meet someone new you introduce yourself.â
âWell your starry eyed stare might have been a bit too much.â
âStarry eyed?â she scoffed in response âI was in no way starry eyed.â
âUh huh sure.â He said in an over-protective-older-brother voice.
âShut up.â y/n tossed a bow staff to Tim and got into a fighting stance with her own.
àŒ»đ„žàŒș
After a mission went wrong, Damian demanded Jon train in the cave at least twice a week to make him, in Damians words âSomewhat competent on the fieldâ. That meant Jon would spend more time in the cave and saw more of y/n.
Whenever Jon and y/n got a chance to talk it felt like theyâd known each other for their whole lives. They had inside jokes and about 2/3âs of a secrets code memorized. Sometimes they would just sit next to each other, completely comfortable in the silent company. Jonâs heart started to beat faster when she was around and his cheeks would heat up when she smiled at him.
He got distracted whenever she came into the training room which resulted in a very hard kick to the stomach on more than one occasion. One day while Jon was on his way home from the manor, he spotted y/n walking swiftly across a rooftop. He hadnât seen in the cave that day but Damian said she was at a friends house.
His exact words were âSheâs at her friends house studying, now if youâre done being completely in love with my sister can we run the training again?â
Of course Jon responded by saying âI am not in love with her!â but it was clear that Damian didnât buy that and at this point Jon wasnât sure he believed it either.
âWhat is she doing out?â he thought while silently ducking behind a nearby billboard. Jon let her get about three rooftops away and used his super senses to keep track of her. She turned left, then left again, then right, then another left, and finally stopped on top of a random building.
Y/n turned to look at the city and let out a sigh. âYou know,â she spoke softly with a hint of a smirk in her voice. âFor someone with Superpowers youâre shit at staying hidden.â
âBustedâ
âHow could you possibly have seen me?â Jon came out from his apparently not so good hiding place and landed a few feet away from her on the roof. âI was in super stealth mode.â
âWell darling Jon i was raised by Batman. Noticing things is kinda, well my thing.â She laughed. âNow, care to explain why youâve been following me for 6 blocks?â
âW-well i have a perfectly reasonable explanation for that and it is because,â he said slowly trying to come up with a good excuse as to why heâd been following her. The truth was he didnât know why heâd followed her. Although he had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with his not so small crush.
âItâs because- Hey wait a second youâre not even supposed to be out here.â Jon cut himself off by changing the subject. âDidnât Batman like, ban you from being a crime fighter?â
âWhat Batman doesn't know wonât hurt him.â She walked over to him so they were now about 2 feet apart.
âHeâs Batman! He knows everything!â Jon exclaimed as if it was obvious.
âWell iâm not going to tell him.â She paused leaning closer to Jon so they were mere inches away from each other. His heart speed up and he felt his cheeks turn pink from how close they were. âAre you going to tell him?â
âN-no?â It sounded more like a question then an answer but it was good enough for y/n.
âGreat!â She leaned away again, her smile returning. âNow that iâve confirmed you wonât be snitching on me, we can go get some food. I am starving and thereâs a great taco truck just around the corner that makes the best nachos. That is if you want to?â
âWant to? Yeah iâd love to!â He smiled happily at the idea.
âPerfect, then itâs a date.â
#shitty fanfics#dc x reader#dc comics#jon kent x reader#jon kent#superboy#fluff#fluffy#prompt#fanfics#superboy x reader#batsis#batsis reader#x reader#y/n#batfam
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⟠Pairing: Kuroo TetsurĆ x F!reader
⟠Warnings: this shit nasty fr 18+, also CEO!Kuroo bc thatâs sexy,
⟠Authors note: In honor of my husbands birthday, I decided to write this nasty ass shitđ. See, ion know what demon POSSESSED me to write this but...đ§đŸââïžanyway, Y/n is implied black, but if youâre not black itâs ite!! There will be some use of AAVE on Y/nâs part tho, and she not finna be one of them âI-I-...b-but k-kuroo!â Shy bitches NONE OF DHET. She a bad bitch and thatâs on prd. (Shy bitches still bad doe!!) is this self indulgent? Yea idc đđŸ
⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠⣠âŁ
It was officially November 17, your husbandâs birthday. When you had woken up, kuroo had already left for work, so the bed was empty. For the past week and a half youâve been contemplating what to get him. You see, for your birthday, kuroo always showered you in gifts, money, clothes, anything you wanted. That was exactly the problem. Kuroo had the money, the expenses and the power to get anything either you or him wanted, what could you possible get him that he couldnât already afford himself. For the past couple years yâall were married, you two always went to some fancy restaurant to eat, then went to a hotel to have some casual birthday sex. This year, you wanted it to be different, you wanted it to be special.
You walked into your local bar in a thin, golden bodycon dress, with a black, expensive fluffy jacket, that just made your skin pop. You just looked like walking money. And ofcourse kuroo had to have his girl walking around with that Hermes Birkin 30cm Himalayan with diamond hardware. You looked around the bar before you saw kiyoko waiting at a table. âHeyy shimizuâ you gleamed, sitting down at the empty seat across from kiyoko. âHey, Y/n-Chanâ she replied, passing you the drink that was preordered.
âSo.â You sigh.
âSo? Whatâs wrong?â Kiyoko questioned.
âI donât know what to get tetsu for his birthday...â you replied, taking a sip of your drink.
âIâm sure heâll like anything you get him.â She reassured.
âGirl, but listen...This man got 4 cars, 3 houses, a visa black card, and a bad ass bitch. What more does he need...wtf do you be getting ryĆsuke for his birthday??â You questioned
âWell, he usually likes anything I get him. Itâs all about the thought y/n. You love him right? Any gift from your heart, heâll like.â Kiyoko answered.
âGirrrr....you right, you right. Matter ah fact, I have an idea.â You grabbed your lil birkin bag and started to get out the chair âthank you shimizu! Make sure you get to the party at 7:30, tetsuâll be back at 8!â You said as you rushed out the bar.
You made your way to the expensive lingerie store that was right next to the penthouse you live in with your husband. You quickly entered the store, looking around for something sexy, but cute, but nasty. Kuroo would never admit it, but he gets flustered easily. When you bend over, when you lean down infront of him and he gets a nice view of your tits, when your skirtâs a little too short, when you call him in the middle of a business meeting, and he has to excuse himself so he can fuck his fist to your moans and cries over the phone. You knew exactly how to rile him up, and thatâs one of the things he loved about you.
Youâve been browsing the lingere sets at the store for a while, before you see it. A perfect thin, red, sexy, lingerie with garter belts. Not to toot your own horn or anything, but this would just make your skin pop. You quickly grab the set and pay for it, making your way back to the penthouse after.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
It was currently 7:58. Kuroo was expected to arrive at 8. Guests were under the table, hiding behind chairs, any possible place a person could squeeze themselves into. You were hiding under behind the kitchen counter with kiyoko. âPsst. Shimu,â you whispered.
âIâm right here y/n..â she replied.
âRight... anyway, guess what I got tetsu for his birthday.â You asked eagerly.
âYour love and affection??â She answered.
âGirl no...well yes...but no.â You said.
âThen what?â Kiyoko questioned.
âI got đżđŸđđđđđŸđ.â You replied
âYouâre making him wear lingerie??â She said.
â...đâ You smirked
âIâm kiddi-â
*clack*
The door to the penthouse opened slowly and everyone let out a big
âSURPRISE!â
Bokuto ran up to kuroo and gave him a big bear hug âHAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!â he exclaimed. Kuroo went around greeting everyone, and thanking them for showing up. You were still talking with kiyoko before he started to approach you. âI should leave you two alone.â She she said before walking away to talk with her own husband.
âYou planned all of this for me, baby?â He cooed as he took you into his arms for a hug, âyessuh, anything for you.â You said nuzzling your face into his chest. He started to place small kisses down your neck âfuck...I missed you...â His breath was hot against your skin ânot here...letâs wait till the partyâs over okay, babe?â You wanted to, you wanted to so bad... but one thing about kuroo is he goes feral when you make him wait
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
11:00. The last few guests had left a while ago, and kuroo had just got done finishing his shower after you had yours. He walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, his chiseled chest on full display. This man was always so damn fine, like whew fuck itâs getting hot in hea fr. He sat next to you and started kissing ur collar bone, slowly removing your robe from your skin.
âYou donât understand how bad I wanted to fuck you,â He whispered into your skin. âI was hard the entire night...â
He completely removed the robe from your skin. âOya? Whatâs this, baby?â
âSurprise.â You moaned slightly as he slid his hands to grip your ass âtonight, Iâll let you do anything you want to me..â
He halted in his movements âanything?â
âMhm~â you reassured
You reach down to palm him through the towel, âsomeoneâs really excited.â You say as you stroke him slowly. âThatâs because my girl looks so damn sexy right now...and sheâs letting me do whatever I want tonight.â Kuroo reaches down to rub circles on your clit.
âMm~â he stick his tongue down your mouth as you let out your moan. âYouâre so wet...itâs seeping through your panties and spilling onto my fingers..â he grins âonly for you, daddy..â you say.â
âFuck..the whole day I was thinking about coming home and fucking you... I even jerked off to the thought of you at work today,â He flipped you over onto your hands and knees, âNow youâre here...all sexy for me.â The towel slid off, and so did your panties as well. âIâm gonna fuck you so good baby, you wonât be able to walk or talk after..â he cooed, rubbing his tip along your folds
âW-wait tetsu, you just not gon prep me or n-fuck!!â He slammed his cock into you with a deep groan.
âJust Shutup and t-take it... fuckk...youâre tight.â He moved in and out of your cunt at an agonizingly slow pace.
âFaster daddy..â you moaned out
âYea? My babyâs feeling good?â He picked up his pace and started jamming into you harder. You lifted your body up slightly. âStay the fuck down.â He growled as he grabbed your neck, not wanting to mess up your hair. âFuck, you feel so fucking good baby.â He was picking up the paste and hitting that one spot he knew you liked. You were moaning loudly into the pillow before he flipped you over onto your back.
âI wanna see that pretty face when I fuck you.â He started fucking you slowly in mission watching his dick get covered in your cream as went in and out. He then took your hand and put it on your lower stomach. âYou feel that baby?â He picked up his pace slightly. âYou feel how deep I am? Fuck.â His eyes were tainted with lust, and cheeks painted with blush. Your hand felt each and every thrust he was putting into you.
âF-fuck tetsu, youâre so big..â you whimpered. Kuroo was always a sucker for praise. âYea? Look at you, youâre such a good girl taking all of it.â He groaned out.
âOpen your mouth baby.â He stuck two fingers in your mouth coating them in saliva, then slowly sheathing them into your other right hole. You whine out at the stretch. âI want both of my kittenâs holes to be filled tonight.â He let out as he stretched your ass.
âShit, relax baby, youâre so tight youâre gonna cut off my circulation.â
âF-feels sâgoodâ you moaned as he continued to satisfy both your holes. âCâmere baby.â He pulled you into the reverse cowgirl position. âYou knew what you were doing naughty girlâ he groaned as you bounced on his dick âshit...dressing up...fuck...like that.â You were squeezing him so tightly and it just felt so good.
âYes, I knew..mm~â there was no point in lying, you knew exactly how kuroo would react. He landed a smack on your ass âIâll have to punish you princess,â you heard a spit noise come from behind you, then felt a warm trail of saliva roll down onto you right puckered ass hole. Kuroo massaged the liquid around the hole âfuck, you think my dick would fit in here? My cum dripping out of you pussy and you ass? Thatâs so sexy..â you winced as he stuck his thumb inside. âShi.. does it feel that good? You like that? Youâre squeezing so tight, fuck.â He groped your ass, letting out a low moan.
âSuck your cream off my dick baby.â
âYes daddy.â You replied getting off of him and on your knees. You take his girth cock into your mouth. You started bobbing your head quickly, tasting yourself on his dick. He place a firm grip on the top of your head. âY-yes, just like tha...mm.. fuck.. your so good to me baby.â His hips started bucking into your mouth roughly, you could tell he was close âfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.â
He grabbed your head halting you to stop. âI wanna cum inside you..â
âThen do it daddy, cum inside me...â
âFuck. Get on your hands and knees.â
He slid back into you once again letting out a deep moaning after regaining stimulation âhow are you still this fucking t-tight...no matter how hard I fuck you...fuck.â He leaned forward and stuck his fingers in your mouth while pounding you into the mattress.
âMm~ tetsu Iâm close~â you whined out
âYeah? Cum for me baby, milk my cock, Iâm gonna stuff you so good.â Ah yes, an even more feral kuroo...truly delicous. âIâm gonna fill you up with my kids...fuck what if you get pregnant.â He groaned. âYouâd look so cute with your tummy swollen.â He started picking up his paste, pounding into your sweet spot even harder. âTetsu, Iâm- nngh~ fuck.â Your orgasm washed over you, you were completely fucked out, but he still kept pounding into you.
âFuck. Thatâs right, cum on my dick.â One of his arms were on the headboard while the other was wrapped so comfortably around your neck. âCâmon baby. Cum for me one more time. I know you can do it.â He grunted
âI c-cant tetsu.â Your body was still shaking in ecstasy. âYes you can, câmonâ The hand around your neck reached down to rub your wet clit rough and fast. Needless to say he had you cumming in no time. âFuck fuck fuck tetsu-â
âShit, Iâm almost there baby, just hold on for a littl- fuck.. bit more.â His thrust started to grow sloppy. âFuck, Iâm cu-uh..nngh.â He let out the most deep and beautiful moan as he spilled his seed into you with one last thrust. You fell onto your back and kuroo right on to of you.
âFuck baby, that was the best birthday present ever.â He huffed, still out of breath
âMm~ tetsu! You went too rough..now Iâm finna be aching all day. My entire body hurts.â Yo complained.
âAtleast your sexy and in pain.â He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.
âStfu.â
Fin.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
Did I proof read this? Nođ§đœââïž anyways I wish kuroo a happy birthday mwah đ„°
Me writing plot: đ€źđșđ€ąđč
Me writing sex scenes: đđđđ„°
#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader#nekoma#nekoma smut#haikyuu smut#haikyuu!!#my writing#haikyuu x black reader#kuroo x black reader#kuroo fluff
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Dating Jungkook [2] || Jeon Jungkook
Author â J-aebumssÂ
Pairing â Shin Won & Jungkook Â
Rating â PG-13Â
Word count â 808Â
Summary â âItâs you, and itâs always been you.âÂ
Other chapters â Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 |Â
~School~Â
Jungkook jogs towards me and hops over me as I usually do to him sometimes, but he still weighed himself not to tip me over.Â
âIâve got exciting news for you,â Jungkook exclaimed.Â
âYouâre hea-heavy.â I playfully acted in agony. He stands, fixing my crease bloused. âSeolhyun and I are together.âÂ
My heart sank, and I gulped my saliva. âWhat?â My jaw dropped. Did I hear that clearly? They arenât together, right? Iâm just hallucinating. Is this a nightmare? God, wake me up, please.Â
âHey...arenât you happy for me?â Jungkook snaps me back into reality. I constrain myself to smile. âOf course, I am...why wouldnât I? My best friend finally got a girlfriend! Iâll be happy, of course.â I hit his arm softly.Â
âOppa~â Seolhyun vocalizes his name, and he unknowingly steps aside from me like weâre strangers. My smiley expression dropped deep inside.Â
âDid I keep you waiting?â He asked and got her bag from her grip.Â
-Â
I roam home alone while punting a pebble. Jungkook never asked me if I waited long for him. He never assisted me with my items, not even when I was striving. Perhaps I was expecting too much just to be with him.Â
~Next day~Â
I waited for Jungkook so we could go to lunch together like we always do. Fifteen minutes later, he wasnât even passing by my classroom. Is there no more space for me?Â
Maybe he and Seolhyun are eating together? I mumbled and walked myself to the cafeteria. There they are eating merrily together. I walked to their table to eat with them.Â
âE-excuse me...can I eat lunch with you.â I stuttered a bit.Â
âSur-â Jungkook wasnât able to finish his response when Seolhyun kicked his legs under the table.Â
âMm...I guess Iâll just eat somewhere else. I donât want to interfere with your date, either.â I turned my back, then fled.Â
-Â
Days have passed by, and itâs still the same, Jungkook doesnât have time for me even just for a moment or to walk me home. He did change a lot, and it is too noticeable it keeps bothering me.Â
âWhat does he truly see in her? She is not even attractive. Sheâs just a huge brat.â I sliced my meat fiercely, visualizing it was her. Immediately my hair was yanked by someone. âWhat did you say? Iâm a brat?âÂ
âSeolhyun unnie.â I breathed out, and I was squealing in anguish. She smirks, âHuh! You feeler...I donât want to hear my name come out of your mouth, and donât call me unnie cause I am not an ugly bitch like you. You disgusting bitch.â She tugs my hair more. When she heard footsteps nearing, she spontaneously ruined her hair like mine and got a glass of juice then spilled it onto her outfit.Â
âWhat are you doing!?â Seolhyun handed me the glass, and I automatically allowed it.Â
âBabe?â Jungkookâs voice made me stiff. Oh...shit! Heâll believe I spilled the juice on her. I immediately put the glass down on the table.Â
âWhat happened?â Jungkook runs up to me. âWhat the heck did you do, Shin Won?â He elevated his voice at me, and it was because of an undeserving person.Â
âCâmon, letâs clean you up.â Jungkook protects his arms around her, and they left the cafeteria. âIâm sorry about her.â Seolhyun glances at me, smirking with her eyebrow twitching. Jungkook oppa is mine, only mine. Jungkook left her in the restroom to do her thing, and he went to confront me. âWhy did you spill the juice on her?â He tried to calm himself.Â
âI didnât...she-âÂ
âAnd what? She did it on her own? Donât you ever go near both of us.â Jungkook cut me off. I was taken back by his threat. Felt like my heart has been stabbed a thousand times. The pain in my chest gets worse. The sweet Jungkook I knew is no longer here. I was totally done, done with him and his bullshit. Hearing that made me somehow undeniably hurt.Â
âJungkook, donât you realize that Seolhyun is changing you. She has your undivided attention and time, but what about me? I have none of that. All you do is hurt me, and you are too blind to see that. All I wanted was you to be my best friend, but I guess I lost him. I donât want to be friends with you if you are going to behave like this.â I tried to sound brave, but I was hiding behind a mask of bravery.Â
I was confused, and I was hurt. I told myself I wouldnât be in Jungkookâs life anymore, but my heart says otherwise. I love him. I really do. I couldnât resist his affection, his hug, and his warmth. We always had each otherâs back. Had.Â
#jeon jungkook gifs#jeon jungkook bts#jeon jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook details#jeon jungkook headers#jeon jungkook lq icons#jeon jungkook writing#jeon jungkook edits#jeon jungkook romance#jeon jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook icons#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x you#jeon jungkook#jungkook headers#jungkook jeon#jungkook details#jungkook fluff#jungkook fiction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook gifs#jungkook kpop#jungkook writing#JungKook edit#jungkook editing#jungkook romance#jungkook imagine#jungkook x reader
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Lord God Savior of All Ryu, I ask for but one noble request. lol i just wanna see all your AUs. Like, I always here about them in replies and stuff but I've almost never seen what they actually look like. So if you could just tag pics of them or doodle (they can be super bad 30 sec doodles too, it don't matter to me) them, I would be the happiest, most joyful little shit ever.
Anon!! Thank you for being so interested in our AUs and wanting to learn more about them. It was a very good excuse for us to go through the list of the AUs, doodle them, revisit some of the older ones, etc. So yeah, your wish is granted lol
Hereâs the majority of them, we decided not to include those that weâve barely talked about and thought out... Iâve put tags for those AUs where we have at least something posted. Most of them are something we havenât even talked about at all and they donât have a single sketch, but I liked drawing chibis for them way too much. Sorry, I used your ask lol
We have a general tag for our aus and specific ones for some of them, but sometimes an au from here is not tagged separately, so you might have to use this general tag...I tried to fix it, I donât think I missed anything, so it should be ok now! ;w;
1. Space AU. Itâs a story about a space expedition.. which turned out to be not exactly what everyone planned thanks to Erwin. What a commander!Â
2. Tribal AU. Itâs a story about Eren becoming a part of the tribe where Erwin and Levi live.Â
3. Babysitter AU. Levi is a babysitter to Eren and Zeke, unfortunately for Zeke, whoâs 17 and not exactly thrilled about being babied. Sometimes thereâs kid Erwin too. Weâve never posted anything related to this AU, I think, and I donât think we will. Thereâs another AU related to this one, but 19yo Eren from the paths (he has the memory of the manga events) keeps kid Eren company as an invisible ghost, while others think that kid Eren is cursed or something.
4. SnK AU. A classical one, where Eren has dreams about the plot of SnK, but when the story stops progressing, he decides to kidnap Levi to make the plot go on. Erwin finds out later... and keeps Levi in the basement because he wants to know the ending too lmao plus itâs hot.
5. Mines AU. Erwin gathered a team for his wonderful plan to find a treasure, but itâs not like the rest of the team needs to know where theyâre really going. Zekeâs particularly terrified to find that out. Despite its name, they spend the majority of time in the forest. Also, thereâs a timeskip of 11 years.Â
6. AU with Neetwin whoâs a history teacher. We donât tag this one though, itâs not like itâs our AU. So now itâs a Neetwin tag, although one of the drawings is with adult Levi... eh, who cares.Â
7. CC AU (cleaning company). Levi works in a cleaning company and cleans up Neetwin and hobo Erenâs apts. They need a lot of work. Yes, they make their apts even dirtier to make Levi spend more time there.Â
8. Prison AU. Damn this one is good... we came up with it before reading the timeskip in the manga, so Erenâs appearance doesnât really match his age, heâs 17 lol Levi is a mafia member who goes to prison because he need to kill one of the inmates (who later became Zeke) on Erwinâs (Leviâs boss) request. Erenâs his personal guard, although Eren works as a regular guard too.
9. King Kong AU. Itâs an AU where the Beast Titan is King Kong lmao Zeke is having fun killing dinosaurs... Levi, not so much. Thank Erwin for his wonderful plan of going to this island.
10. Rus AU, basically just characters living in Russia. Because ofc we will have this type of a setting... Damn, I thought we drew this one more often, huh.Â
11. Sea AU. Mainly our modern AU, we use it as a base for other modern stuff for the most part. Leviâs getting two boifrond rings, he lives with Erwin, Eren visits them often, Zeke bitches a lot, fun times with and without Zeke, stuff like that. Thereâs also a subplot (11.5) where Eren gets âkidnappedâ by a witch, so Zevi have to find him and bring him back. Titans exist in this AU, Eren and Zeke are titans, and all of them have military training, but Erwin and Levi retired some time ago. We donât have a tag for just a modern setting, though.Â
12. Cult AU. Eren lives on a farm and has a whole village of his followers. He also has cursed animals... and I think weâve told about some of the plot points in replies. Erwinâs really into all this cult stuff because it affects reality for real, so he asks Levi to follow rituals, although Levi came to ask Eren to go back to normal life and finish the fucking school.Â
13. Serial killer AU. Erenâs a serial killer, duh. Never posted anything with this one, unfortunately, but Eren got disappointed in the police when he was a child, so he decided to fix the situation himself, while Erwin and Levi, as a part of a special department, investigate his âfixingâ. It also has a time skip. I really need to redraw at least one sketch...
14. Hospital AU. Levi gets into Marley trying to make Eren go back, but itâs not that simple because Eren doesnât want to lol Basically canonverse with this small change.
15. Hobo AU. Eren and Levi are hobos, Zeke wants his brother to stop living under a fucking bridge. Later Erwin takes both of them under his roof because he really likes Levi, but he canât leave Eren alone.
16. Doggies AU. AU where Erenâs a wolf and Erwinâs a doggo. Levi got Erwin because he was a retiring trained dog and sniffed enough drugs in his life, and Eren... his âownerâ found him on the streets and lied to Levi about Eren being a dog. Later Eren turned into a magnificent beast and now he doesnât want to leave. Thereâs also Zeke, but he belongs to Xavier.Â
17. AU where Eren wants to become a mangaka. The first post is self-explanatory, although Iâd probably make some changes now if I cared enough. Thereâs also a time skip where Eren ditched his manga and became hobo!Eren. His editor was pissed lolÂ
18. Scolopendra Eren AU. You know the drill, and Iâve talked about the plot in some of the replies.Â
This post doesnât show up on the tag for some reason.
19. Ghost Eren AU. I shouldâve named it combini AU... Anyway, Iâve talked about this one a lot, although poor Erwin gets neglected a little bit lol itâs hard to compete with a ghost when youâre just a mere stalker... but a very invested one. Eren likes Erwin here, theyâre vibing on the same malicious-towards-Levi wave.Â
20. Shark Eren AU. Itâs just for us for funs, Erenâs a shark, and Leviâs there to help him fight depression. Eren later escapes into the sea.
21. Midsommar AU. Levi and Erwin get an invite to go to the village from Yelena, Erenâs a part of a cult who is kinda attracted to one of the newcomers... Such a good movie, we need to draw them properly. Both Yeagerists and Eldians are a part of the cult, they donât have any specific rules by which I categorised them... Although not all characters are present, and some of them (Jean, I think) are newcomers who will join the cult later. Sorry, I donât remember much.Â
22. Silent Hill AU. It started with Erwin peeking into Leviâs apartment, but now thereâs Eren too... We havenât thought out this one, Iâm bad with Silent Hill AUs for some reason.Â
23. House Eren AU. Erenâs a house, and weâve explained how it works too, so just check out the tag. Levi actually lives there with Erwin, but I donât remember if weâve mentioned it or decided to skip this info.Â
24. Eren pack AU. Itâs an AU where Erens of all ages (6 of them, I believe) are a little bit feral, and they have wolf ears and tails, and they live in a specific place and Levi visits them every day and takes care of them. They love Levi. Hereâs the only post that survived, and hereâs a link for a twitter post which I never got back on tumblr after it got deleted.Â
25. Trailer AU. The story is about Levi who has to live with Zeke for a month as his slave because Erwin lost him in a game of cards lol To be fair, Erwin lost a lot of money and their whole flat, and Zeke gave them a choice between that and Levi (heâs horny ok), and Levi agreed. Zeke even put Levi on a chain, although Levi doesnât even try to escape...
26. Flower shop AU. Erenâs a plant, and he brings death to the whole planet. He keeps Levi alive though, as a treat for himself. Weâve explained some of the stuff in the replies.Â
27. Blair Witch AU. Itâs pretty much explained in this post, and if you saw the movie, thereâs nothing for me to tell you. Everything thatâs different from it is in the post lolÂ
28. Corpse AU. Erenâs a corpse, Leviâs a pathologist who works on difficult and mysterious cases alongside the police. Eren later comes to life along with a couple of other bodies...
29. Antichrist AU. Zevi adopt baby Eren, but Erenâs a fucking satan. He loves Levi, but Zeke... not so much. Zeke loves Eren to death, though. Eren would love to organise that, but first he needs to grow up a little bit. It doesnât mean that he wonât torture his parents during his journey. And everyone else who interact with them.
30. This one doesnât have a title, but itâs an AU where kid Eren went missing, and Levi goes into the forest to find him. Levi owns Erwin whoâs a good doggo and helps him find Eren. It turns out Eren killed two adult dudes, and he has paths!Eren telling him what to do and how to do it... Paths!Eren has the memory of the canonverse.
31. Zombie apocalypse AU. Thereâs only one drawing with it though, but basically Levi builds himself a wonderful place to survive the apocalypse, and he keeps Zombie Erwin in the basement in hopes of Hange finding a cure. Then Eren joins just because he can and because Leviâs very awesome. Eren has a boner for the apocalypse and enjoys every second of it.Â
32. No title, but Eren was casted away from the canon universe for the rumbling, and now heâs a mythological giant wolf who lives in a deep very old forest. He was very surprised to find out Levi exists in this universe... So he kidnapped him â€ïž
33. Halloween AU. Youâve seen this one, itâs a story where Jean, Connie, Sasha and Eren get into the wrong house and find a ritual instead of a Halloween party... So after saving the child who, as it turns out, is not really a victim, they decide to ditch him at Eruriâs place.
34. Okusan AU. Leviâs a housewife, Erwin is a cuckold whoâs really into adultery. He invites both Zeke and Eren from time to time to act as Leviâs husbands, and they (Levi and Erwin) almost get caught because the âhusbandâ suddenly came home... Sorry, weâve read too many doujinshis lol
35. Island AU. Erwin loves sending Levi to dangerous places to get souvenirs for himself, and now itâs time for Levi to get a crystal from a very isolated island full of strict rules in terms of interacting with outsiders. We have a cool idea for a two part drawing (like with our flower shop au), but itâll take us ages to complete anything at this rate... I have like two sketches on Patreon for now, but damn this AU has so many cool visuals we wanna draw... Itâs another cult AU with people living on Paradis (more like one village in the middle of the island), isolated from the rest of the world. They donât welcome strangers, and Levi has three months to find and steal that crystal, although itâs not that simple.
36. Erewan. Not exactly a full AU, but Erewanâs a cursed animal plushie who kills people and loves Levi a lot.Â
37. Cat AU. Everyoneâs a cat (duh). Not really our AU, but it has its own tag, and itâs only asks.Â
38. Tiny founder Eren AU?? Again, not really our AU, but now it has its own tag.Â
Iâve also found the reply where I talk about how charactersâ relationships work in some of the AUs, you can check it out too. I thought it was fitting for a master post.Â
#replies#our aus#ghost!eren au#scolopendra!eren au#zombie apocalypse au#halloween au#sea au#babysitter au#erewan#neetwin#tiny founder#cat au#serial killer au#blair witch au#space au#tribal au#mines au#cc au#rus au#cult au#mangaka!eren au#doggies AU#midsommar au#flower shop au#antichrist au#silent hill au#trailer au#house!eren au#eren pack au#island au
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dear... whoever | b.b.
summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.Â
WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing:Â bucky barnes x fem!reader word count:Â 9.5k
a/n: written for @softbikerâ and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbuckyâ with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!
July 31/20
DearâŠ
Whoever is going to read this. So⊠me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.
Is it too clichĂ© to say dear diary? I donât know. After all, I donât WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because itâs mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks itâs necessary that I write down my feelings and show that Iâve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tonyâs stupid R&D department.
Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.
Cute.
Anyway, I donât know what to write. Currently, itâs 4:23AM. The only reason Iâm awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.
What the hell is he even doing?
To be honest, Iâve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because heâs the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. Iâm not saying itâs not, considering his history, but you know.
I think Iâm a friendly person, and Iâm bored. Heâs eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.
Not that Iâve been working here for years, but whatever.
Iâm really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.
Fuck it.
Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, youâll know why.
.
Aug. 1/20
Dear Jane,
I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things thatâve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.
One: Barnes said he doesnât really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didnât mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think heâs just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. Weâll see how it goes.
Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didnât even know he had a cat but itâs a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. Itâs adorable. Heâs super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.
Three: Barnesâ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.
Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldnât sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didnât want to say âDear diaryâ
âWhy donât you just give it a name?â he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of âWhich name?â
Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.
Six: We said weâd meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my sâmores dip recipe.
Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I donât get murdered.
Eight: I think I might be in love with him.
Bye.
.
Aug. 5/20
Dear Jane,
In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. Heâs super old fashioned, but thatâs a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, weâve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and Iâm left fanning myself because itâs so sweet and heâs so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.
This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, canât stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.
AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because heâs just the loveliest person.
Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks heâs just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. Heâd look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.
Weâll see. I am considering it.
What else happened? Iâm drawing a huge blank.
As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my sâmores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. Thatâs how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If itâs really important, sheâll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tonyâs big Christmas party even though thatâs MONTHS away.
But, you know. Weâre so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.
As head of R&D, itâs vital to me that this goes well because theyâre fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they donât. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.
I think thatâs it.
If thereâs more to follow, then Iâll just come back but there really isnât.
Oh, Alpine found my room. Heâs in here right now and he snores. Itâs cute, just like his owner.
Okay, goodnight.
.
Aug. 7/20
Dear Jane,
Sam, James, and I went swimming.
Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.
Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.
Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and thatâs coming from me.
Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said weâre just friends.
Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.
God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.
Itâs not stupid.
Itâs really, REALLY cute he researched it.
This sucks.
.
Aug. 11/20
The worst day ever. I donât want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.
.
Aug. 15/20
Dear Jane,
Sorry, Iâm dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.
Letâs just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.
I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.
EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?
Iâm not even mad. Iâm just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.
I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. Iâm just the insanely jealous type.
No, Iâm not.
God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.
I never get crushes and the instant I do, itâs for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.
Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. Thatâs the only good thing.
Thanks, universe.
.
Aug. 16/20
Dear Jane,
So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.
James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.
Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.
.
Aug. 19/20
Dear Jane,
Whatâs the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?
James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, heâd know I feel like throwing up whenever heâs around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.
I told him weâve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about âintuitionâ and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.
I shouldâve been a shrink.
At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.
Maybe Iâll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, Iâm catching feelings willy-nilly these days.
See you on the plane, Jane.
.
Aug. 23/20
Dear Jane,
On the quinjet, itâs fairly quiet. Itâs one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought Iâd write. Iâm getting the hang of this, I think.
There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and itâs not that I canât handle it, but that I couldâve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.
Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.
Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. Iâm not stealing anyoneâs man because girl code, but he wonât even let me just stand near him anymore. Itâs like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and itâs just weird.
I donât know.
Before I left, he said heâd miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I wonât forget him.
So, you say those things but you wonât even let me even hug you?
Youâre a manipulative asshole, Barnes.
.
Oct. 20/20
Dear Jane,
I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.
In hindsight, Iâm a fucking idiot.
I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.
James offered to help, and he seems normal again.
Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.
In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didnât, trust me. Iâm just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didnât like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because heâs a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.
It was FINE.
Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.
James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because sheâd be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks weâll get along swimmingly.
He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.
I said yes, to be polite.
Hereâs to hoping sheâs a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.
.
Oct. 22/20
Dear Jane,
I met her. Sheâs small and pretty and mature and normal.
If I wasnât stupidly in my feelings about James, Iâd love her, too.Â
Sheâd treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.
Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.
.
Oct. 25/20
Dear Jane,
God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.
Jesus isnât even taking the wheel on this one.
Itâs a fucking disaster.
I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I wonât, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)
Girlfriend (his girlfriend. âGirlfriendâ is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because âcouples goalsâ or whatever.
I wouldnât know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steveâs not dressing up because heâs more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.
Tony is⊠Tony. Iron Man and all that.
Anyway, Iâm out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but Iâll be back in New York on the 30th so Iâll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.
He called me his best friend again in his latest email.
Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.
.
Nov. 1/20
Dear Jane,
Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because weâre that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.
I dunno. I didnât mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.
It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.
Wish me luck, not that I need it.
Why do you think Tony hired me?
.
Nov. 4/20
Dear Jane.
Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.
Note to self: Donât smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.
Note to note to self: I canât. He just makes me smile whenever heâs around and heâs always around. Thereâs no simpler way to put it.
Iâm gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. Weâll see how it goes.
.
Nov. 13/20
Dear Jane,
Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.
Weâre scheduled for a mission together, and weâre leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.
Well, glad to know this didnât work.
.
Nov. 15/20
Dear Jane,
Guess who just got fucking shot!
ME!
Guess even scumbags canât take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.
James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.
He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.
Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?Â
Iâve never fallen in love before.
Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like Iâm crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.
Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think Iâm going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.
God, heâd never love me. Weâre just friends and even though we have a lot in common, heâd never. Itâs just too much of the past in the present or whatever.
Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a âone of the boysâ type of girl whoâs a bitch to one of the boyâs new girlfriends, but I donât know. James told me they donât really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.
In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.
More on that later. Iâm tired.
God, why him?
I HATE THIS.
goodnight.
.
Nov. 16/20
Dear Jane,
James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.
I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.
He said he did, too.
I donât know why I think heâs lying. No, I do.
Itâs because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks sheâs relevant to society.
That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.
P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.
.
Nov. 17/20
Dear Jane,
Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothingâs left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.
I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. Itâs hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.
Itâs 2:32AM. Iâm wondering if heâs in the kitchen but Iâm confined to bed rest so I donât know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I donât want to bother her.
Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.
.
Nov. 24/20
Dear Jane,
Sorry we havenât caught up in a moment. Workâs been hectic and Iâve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days Iâm in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.
James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.
He broke up with his girlfriend, too.
Guess thatâs why he was being weird about it.
I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didnât want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldnât be for the company because when Iâm in work mode, I just donât talk and he knows that.
He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.
I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.
Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and Jamesâ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.
I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didnât.
Girl code.
Itâll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas seasonâs coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.
Yay, me.
.
Dec. 4/20
Dear Jane,
Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like âYou boyfriend?â But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.
Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I donât care if sheâs the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.
On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said Iâd think about it. Normally Iâd just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.
Might just go alone. I donât know.
Pep said I should take James, but I donât really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said heâd find me a date if I couldnât.
Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.
He knows me so well. Iâm thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and Iâll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.
I cannot wait.
.
Dec. 12/20
Dear Jane,
I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.
Thoughts on black and gold?
I think itâs beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. Weâre having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so thatâs exciting.
James asked if we could meet up tonight.
I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.
I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like weâre fine, weâre best friends still, but somethingâs changed when no one was looking. Heâs single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.
I donât exactly mind but itâs not ideal either. I miss summer. Itâs much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.
Summer: thereâs just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.
Look, I love winter. Itâs my favourite season. Itâs quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and Iâd rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where itâs warm and toasty.
I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.
Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.
.
Dec. 16/20
Dear Jane,
T-minus nine days until the party.
No date in sight.
Maybe Iâll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and heâs nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. Iâll head down tomorrow and ask.
Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.
.
Dec. 17/20
Dear Jane,
Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tonyâs Christmas Party failed. Granted, it couldâve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.
I wish I meant Sam.
Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.
Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didnât have a date either.
He doesnât know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.
Notice how I said âdidn'tâ have a date.
Guess whoâs going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?
Me.
Yippee.
.
Dec. 18/20
Dear Jane,
Itâs 3:42AM and Iâm in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.
I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and itâs making me smile like an idiot.
Oh, shit, he knows Iâm in here. Heâs making milkshakes.
I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.
Goodnight, Jane.
.
Dec. 24/20
Dear Jane,
Iâm not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.
This is a resolute promise. An early New Yearâs resolution.
.
Dec. 25/20
Dear Jane,
Merry Christmas!Â
In between jovial festivities, Iâve finally found a little nook thatâs quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, Iâm exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.
Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said âOpen When Aloneâ and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. Itâs gold and thin and it feels wonderful. Thereâs a little cat paw charm on it and itâs so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.
Itâs just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.
Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.
Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: weâre just friends. Iâm not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. Thatâs just gross.
You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. Itâs all very depending on how this night turns out.
.
Dec. 26/20
Dear Jane,
Fuck.
P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.
.
Dec. 27/20
Dear Jane,
I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.
I am SO GLAD we havenât gotten called in because James doesnât leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.
Heâs a good kisser. His lips are soft.
Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.
God, this is a dream come true. He doesnât even question it, he just
Itâs like Iâm a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and itâs like heâll do anything I ask. And we act like itâs normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.
Best Christmas ever.
.
Dec. 28/20
Dear Jane,
I feel like Iâm ignoring you but Iâm also having the best sex of my life. Heâs just⊠so fucking good and itâs a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.
Love at first meeting isnât real.
Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.
.
Dec. 29/20
Dear Jane,
It isnât just the sex, you know? Itâs the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each otherâs presence. Itâs enough like that, you know?
Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but Iâm too lazy to look it up. Jamesâ head is in my lap and heâs just reading while Iâm writing and everything seems perfect.
He doesnât ask what Iâm writing because he knows itâs private and I trust him.
This is perfect.
I think I really am IN love with him.
.
Jan. 1/21
You know that clichĂ©/tradition of New Yearâs kisses?
WELL THEN.
Best (and worst) New Yearâs ever. Iâll explain more later. Iâm too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.
See you when Iâm not hungover.
.
Jan. 5/21
Dear Jane,
Iâm finally stable enough to write.
In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Yearâs Dayâs events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasnât a fight but then it became one and I donât even know how it happened. I wasnât even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.
Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.
Tony came into my room and didnât say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I donât know how he knows, but then again, itâs Tony.
He just said loveâs tough sometimes.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Iâm thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.
.
Jan. 6/21
Dear Jane,
James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if heâs going to come up to me. Weâll see.
Iâm only writing this so it seems like Iâm busy. Iâm running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? Whatâs the point in staring like that? Whatâs the point?
I could ask myself the same question. Whatâs the point in loving someone whoâll never love you? Yeah, heâs sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like heâs allergic to intimacy.
It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.
Maybe itâs something to do with me.
I donât know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I wonât. Iâm not gonna let him win.
.
Jan. 6/21
He didnât. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.
I donât think either of them knows whatâs going on, but they have a notion.
.
Jan. 9/21
Dear Jane,
He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.
I told him Iâm going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.
It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.
Shit.
.
Jan. 14/21
Dear Jane,
Switzerland is lovely.
No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weatherâs supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.
No other comment.
.
Jan. 21/21
Dear Jane,
I lasted all of a week.
Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.
I dunno. Iâm over it. We donât apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didnât want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.
Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.
He said, and I quote, âBucky? When did I stop being James?â
I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.
I guess if heâs still James, that must mean Iâm still special.
Thatâs the Tony-inherited ego talking.
But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that Iâm special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesnât really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I canât complain too much.
Weâre going home in a few days.
Iâll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steveâs shield that I do.
.
Jan. 24/21
Dear Jane,
I get three Steveâs shields because I was right every single fucking day.
Heâs like a habit I canât quite kick and donât really want to.
We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.
Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think weâre being mutually exclusive right now, so itâs almost dating.
I dunno. I donât mind it anymore. Itâs better than nothing.
.
Feb. 2/21
Dear Jane,
Iâm absolutely miserable.
Iâm still getting laid, but thatâs not related. Correlation and causation or something.
Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?
I donât know. Winter is ending and now itâs in that awful transition phase between seasons and itâs mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so Iâm gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.
He doesnât like the muck either. Thatâs not really relevant, I guess.
.
Feb. 14/21
Dear Jane,
I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense Iâve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.
What a wretched holiday.
Yours truly.
.
Feb. 18/21
Dear Jane,
Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.
Not James.
He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.
No other observations.
.
Feb. 25/21
Dear Jane,
It was Morganâs birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretaryâs birthday party and the team doesnât really know whatâs happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.
I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.
Iâm lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.
It occurs to me that Iâve been in love for a pretty long time and Iâm not even in a relationship with the guy.
Energy couldâve been devoted to so many other things and Iâd hate being in love if it werenât for the fact that itâs James.
Again, love making me sappy and all that.
.
Feb. 28/21
Dear Jane,
Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.
I wonder if James knew that.
.
Mar. 10/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs Jamesâ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. Iâm excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but Iâm gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.
I think, ordinarily, Iâd be in knots because itâs Jamesâ birthday and I love him and heâs my best friend, but I just donât know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.
.
Mar. 20/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs raining and doesnât feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because heâs not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and heâs on antibiotics. Poor boy. Heâs sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think Iâll just work from my room for a bit until heâs feeling better.
Nothing much to report, which is why I didnât write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesnât work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isnât the same.
.
April 1/21
James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasnât though. In true April Foolâs tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where youâre so exhausted youâre wide awake.
James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.
Who am I to say no to celebrating?
He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didnât understand anything he said at first.
He told me he loved me.
I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Donât ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I donât know.
I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.
It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.
Or, the sickest practical joke.
Consensus not yet reached.
.
April 2/21
Dear Jane,
I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.
He did not.
Sickest practical joke confirmed.
.
April 9/21
Dear Jane,
Iâve been avoiding writing because Iâve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and Jamesâ confession is all I can think about. Tonyâs on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.
Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.
I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldnât be in this situation where Iâm stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom Iâm in love with. Minus the drunk part.
Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until itâs finished so weâll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.
.
May 1/21
Dear Jane,
It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.
Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isnât.
Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.
Iâm going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.
Felt weird considering we arenât a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.
The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.
.
May 6/21
Dear Jane,
For context, itâs 5:23AM.
Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head itâs still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like weâre the tabloidâs biggest scoop.
We werenât even holding hands, but I guess itâs just another reason why we shouldnât be TOGETHER together in public.
We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if heâs pursuing other options, because Iâm not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didnât want to ruin the vibe.
He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I donât ruin it. He thinks I donât notice but how do I not notice? Heâs my best friend.
I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.
I guess that means something.
.
May 17/21
Dear Jane,
In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragonsâ new album. It wasnât too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it couldâve been better. Whatever.
.
May 22/21
Dear Jane,
Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.
I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.
Thatâs how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.
She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it mustâve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.
I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and thatâs going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.
Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.
Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.
.
June 3/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs starting to dry up consistently, now. Itâs getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.
Itâs nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesnât have to worry about how to tell the guy sheâs in love with that she loves him.
Oh, didnât you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.
And Nat is scary when not listened to.
Much to brainstorm about.
.
June 14/21
Dear Jane,
Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought Iâd preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Workâs catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. Iâve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.
Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Havenât thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.
.
June 20/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.
So much for simplicity.
In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but heâs never a bother.
Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. Thereâs nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two peopleâs summers are going well. Bully for them.
Didnât really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didnât feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.
Iâll make it work somehow.
.
June 22/21
Dear Jane,
I got my wish and didnât at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.
In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.
What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.
He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that âno, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.â
He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know heâs just trying to avoid me.
God, how am I so stupid?
.
June 25/21
Dear Jane,
I havenât seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out heâs out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I donât know.
I wasnât assigned to that op so the details werenât shared liberally. Sam just said itâd be a while during the ambassadorâs entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.
I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I donât know how heâs focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.
I love you.
Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I mightâve just irreversibly messed things up.
.
July 12/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, itâs because I am indeed crying while writing this.
James was medically evacâed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.
There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.
Holy shit, Iâm so scared. Iâve never been so scared in my life. Itâs like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and heâs squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.
I just want to hold his hand but heâs so high risk no oneâs allowed to see him right now.
The waiting room is too quiet. Steveâs holding on to Girlfriendâs hand so hard I think her bones are broken but sheâs taking it like a champ. Natâs pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who sheâs carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.
Itâs too quiet.
Iâm so scared.
.
July 13/21
They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and heâs stable now.
Itâs really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so Iâm just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.
When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was âIâm an idiot.â
Granted, heâs right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.
I feel sort of guilty.
Itâs partially my fault, isnât it?
I think Iâll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.
.
July 14/21
Dear Jane,
James woke up today. Heâs still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but heâs conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldnât, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.
I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.
Heâs so fucking romantic, even when heâs lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.
Oh, and he kissed me. I donât think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.
I donât know how to describe the feeling in my chest. Itâs a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.
.
July 18/21
Dear Jane,
We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesnât say anything about it. Weâre best friends, after all, but I think theyâve known for a long time that thereâs something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.
I wonât have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.
I donât care. Iâm just glad heâs home.
Heâs kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where heâs dozing, curled up underneath Jamesâ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure heâs okay.
Iâm going to go kiss him now.
Be right back.
.
July 21/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs almost Natâs birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and Iâm helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, heâs still super banged up, so itâs better safe than sorry.
We had a really long talk about love and stuff. Itâs good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.
We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when heâs bored or itâs a commercial break.
It feels very natural.
I am very much in love with him.
I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesnât have to say it back (I tell him that thereâs no pressure) and heâll get it through his thick skull eventually that heâs now stuck with me.
.
July 25/21
Dear Jane,
We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didnât run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).
While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you donât deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.
He smiled a lot more after that. I guess heâs just glad I get it.
One day, Iâll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.
Until then, Iâll just keep trying.
P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.
P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.
.
July 26/21
Dear Jane,
In summary of today:
Happy birthday, Natasha.
James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.
He knew. âIntuitionâ and all that. He also said I looked âlike a royal dameâ in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.
I love him and thatâs the only reason it works.
Back to the festivities.
.
July 27/21
Dear Jane,
Good morning to you and to James whoâs still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.
Progress. Now, back to sleep.
.
July 27/21
Dear Jane,
Itâs now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.
He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now heâs upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.
He is exceptionally cute when heâs pouting.
I think weâre officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but weâll work out the semantics on that later. For now, itâs another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.
I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our âthing.â I canât stop smiling like an idiot.
Massive progress.
.
July 28/21
Dear Jane,
He told me I was the only one for him.
Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled âFINALLYâ and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.
For a day: 10/10
.
July 31/21
Hey Jane,
I think Iâm happy.
Iâm sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.
James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said itâll take the whole day so I thought Iâd get this entry in the morning. I dunno. Itâs really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.
Weird, but itâs a good weird.
See you in a bit.
#fic: dear... whoever#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky fic#bucky imagine#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan fic#sebastian stan imagine#my writing#25 things challenge
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me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE
did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.
me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid
They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.
Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.
Not a lot a lot. But a lot.
Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?
this is adorable
âI heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,â David chuckled.
yup that's jace
âWe have to pay to talk on the phone?â Max asked incredulously. âI thought it was free.â
âOf course it isnât free, Max!â David chuckled. âWe have to pay for WiFi too.â
âThis is ridiculous!â Max said. âNext you will say we have to pay for electricity.â
âUm, we do have to pay for electricity,â David chuckled again.
we pay for water too
but max you didnt know-
âDonât let them guilt trip you!â Max had chastised. âThey like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like itâs their form of therapy. They need this.â
cant relate nope
âI donât know,â Max groaned. âMy family is so dramatic.â
the lightwood-banes in one sentence
THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN
âWell, too late!â Max announced. âThis date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.â
In retrospect, he really shouldnât have said that.
nah its gonna be great
âPerhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.â
yes that is what they keep in libraries
OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS
HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL
His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.
But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.
well-
you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did
i blame my sleep deprivation
shit i feel sick
you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...
ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental
there is something going on
âI thought dragon demons were extinct!â Max yelled over the commotion.
well-
ANJALI
âMan, fuck the orders!â Max said in frustration.
if you get hurt ill kill you
oh it's not her
well fuck
âThat was an Armani, you piece of shit!â Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.
THE AUDACITY
It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.
well that's nice to know
FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???
ok what is going on
âSay the thing!!!â
âIâm not saying the damn thing, you maniac!â
âSay the thing!â
Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.
âIâm not just a shadowhunter,â Rafael said through gritted teeth. âIâm Magnus Baneâs son.â
LMAO THEM
âWell, demons are stupid,â Max pointed out.
âYeah, that makes sense,â Rafael said with a mouthful of food. âYou are half demon after all.â
Im so sleepy i cant even react to this
but THEM I CANT-
WHERE.IS.ALEC
Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.
MUST BE PROTECTED
Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldnât stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.
Also, maybe the naked chest.
AHEM
OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE
we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY
alec...
on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH
âBut it tastes so good when itâs from your plate!â Max said with a mouth full of food.
âOh, you want my food? Here!â Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.
Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. âThanks, bro!â
âYou little s-â
HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH
âAnd no fighting over chicken!â Bapak pointed out. âWe can always summon some more.â
âOrder,â dad corrected. âWe donât summon. We order. And then we pay.â
âHow do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?â Max asked.
Max has a point y'know
âThatâs rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,â Max stuck out his tongue.
âIt was a gift!â Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.
âDoes that mean Bapak is a capitalist?â Max asked.
LMAO
Max: What even-
Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol
CAN THEY???
David: Mr Herondale yelled âYes! Two out of three!â
MOOD
PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"
SAME THOUGH
âDavid is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.â
STOP NO
âOh,â Max said. âUh, David and IâŠWe are dating.â
Dad choked on his coffee. âExcuse me?â
Bapak chuckled next to him. âOf course you didnât know.â
âYou two are dating?â dad demanded. âSince when? Who else knows about this? Why didnât you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?â
âThere you go!â Max yelled triumphantly. âThatâs the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!â
There's alec. Yup
OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK
good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-
âKissing?â dad gaped. âOn the mouth???â
âUm, where else would we kiss?â Max asked incredulously.
âWell, actually,â Bapa cleared his throat. âThere are many ways you can enjoy-â
IM CACKLING
And thatâs how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.
Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer
âYou guys know we have something called the internet, right?â Max demanded.
âWell, the internet can have mixed messages,â Bapak sniffed. âWe on the other hand have real life experien-â
âMagnus!â dad looked red in the face.
âFine,â Bapak sighed. âNow moving on to the importance of lubrication and-â
âIâm begging you to stop,â Max groaned.
THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM
âIâll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.â
HE'S SO DRAMATIC
âWell,â dad said carefully. âDavid isâŠâ
âFrench?â Max asked.
i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this
next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system
Max honey...
listen to him
i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols
oh he's finding out about the incident
that's what i call it
Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.
oh yeah...
shudder
They called it The Jem effect.
AYYYYY
It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. Itâs how he had found he was bisexual.
very very valid. have a good day sir
AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH
you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...
pls send help
ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD
âCan we not talk about my boyfriendâs sperm, please?â
im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out
BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO
SUGGENS MINA
âIâm hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,â he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. âIs Magnus here?â
âJust the spawn,â Max called back.
THE SPAWN BYE-
âHe is married to the Consul!â Tessa chuckled. âAnd one of his sons is a shadowhunter.â
âItâs still very bad for our reputation,â Ragnor grumbled. âHe is too close with shadowhunters.â
âYou are the headmaster of Scholomance!â Catarina said incredulously. âYou teach nephilim! Even though you donât need a job!â
âI was coerced!â Ragnor huffed. âManipulated by the children of the angel.â
really ragnor?
The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarinaâs shoulder. âI canât go through this again, Cat! Not again!â
âSo much for not taking up after his father, huh?â Catarina chuckled and looked at him. âThatâs nice, Max. We are happy for you.â
âWe are not!â Ragnor said in a muffled voice.
RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB
OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE
a kind of endless love...
dont make me cry
âI know you are worried, love,â Tessaâs voice was a whisper. âYou are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.â
my eyeballs are too tired to cry
stop it
THEY SAID I LOVE YOU
I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM
bitch you hate children wtf-
Max laughed. âIâm going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!â
better get it done now
HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER
dont do this to me at 4 am
âYou should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,â Max suggested with a smile. âMaybe you can bond over archery or something.â
âIâm pretty sure he would use me for target practice,â David mumbled.
âDonât be ridiculous, David!â Max said incredulously. âMy father doesnât need target practice!â
At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED
âI got it all planned,â Max said â for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.
me throughout life
max Rafael isn't the one smoking-
OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP
âAlso tell him to stop smoking!â Max pointed out seriously. âItâs not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.â
âI know, Max,â dad sighed heavily and blinked. âI mean, Iâll talk to him. For sure.â
Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell
âI donât want easy,â David smiled. âI want you.â
IT'S 4 AM DUDE
AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET
CELESTIAL PALACE
âDad? The Consul? That dad?â David looked surprised and relieved all at once. âOh my god, he doesnât hate me!â
âOf course he doesnât hate you!â Max chuckled. âBut he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you donât bring me home by 11.â
of course, he did
oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.
this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH
the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE
Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.
Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting đ
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How to say âI love youâ without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say âI fuckinâ love Ian Clayton Gallagherâ.
1. Kiss me, and Iâll cut your fucking tongue out.
2. Iâll meet you there in 20.
3. You say that again, Iâll rip your tongue out of your head.
4. Take your hand off the glass.
5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?
6. Fuckinâ tough guy, huh?
7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?
8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but Iâm doing a lot of people a favor, including you.
9. -I missed you-  You did? -Yeah, man.-
10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?
11. Donât know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.
12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?-  God, no. -Wise choice.-
13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.
14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.
15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? Iâm gonna chase after you like some bitch?
16. -Donât.-  Donât what?  -JustâŠ-
17. -You seen him?-  Why do you care?  -Donât.-
18. You heard from Gallagher?
19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.
20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.
21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?
22. You wearing cologne?  -No. Itâs Kenyattaâs perfume soap shit.-
23. I gotta take care of something important.
24. No, Iâm not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.
25. You coming back?
26. Iâll do it.
27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, Iâm gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.
28. Together.
29. That all you think he is? Some twink?
30. Probably best if you donât, tough guy.
31. Of course we are.
32. You want me to go? -No, I donât want you to go.-
33. Iâm not lying to you.
34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.
35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.
36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybodyâs attention, please? I just want everybody here to know Iâm fucking gay. A big old âmo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?
37. Fuck you! Donât worry about it! Iâve been staying at Ianâs since youâve been in the can, bitch! Guess what weâve been doing, daddy! Weâve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.
38. Youâre a fucking dick. Yeah, there. Thatâs what you get.
39. You love him?  -Maybe. I donât know.-  Because he has a real penis? -Yeah, I guess.-
40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.
41. Yo, sleepy-face.
42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?
43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?
44. Ian, are you high? You take something?
45. Fuckâs wrong with him?
46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. Heâs staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I canât keep up with him.
47. No, no, look. Heâ heâs low⊠We cheer him up.
48. What do you mean, hosâ Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! Heâs staying here.
49. I canâ I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until heâs better.
50. Donât fucking tell me whatâs impossible! Weâre taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.
51. Heâs not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. Heâs staying with me.
52. Iâll be there. -Better be.-
53. All right. I guess Iâm going with you.
54. Sheâll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.
55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.
56. Whatâs your type? -Redhead.-  I am downstairs. -Batshit crazy.-  Check. -Packing 9 inches.-
57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.
58. Iâm worried about you.
59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?
60. At least heâll be getting some kind of fucking help.
61. Relationship to the patient? -Sister.-  -You?- -Uh, boyfriend.-
62. Hey. Sorry Iâm late.
63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.
64. Hey, itâs okay. Itâs all right.
65. Heâs not a fucking lab rat.
66. Heâs got me.
67. Hey, Ianâs sleeping in there.
68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.
69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.
70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.
71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and youâre going to have diarrhea real bad.
72. I didnât know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.
73. The hell happened to your hand?
74. Did a doctor take care of that?
75. You canât go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.
76. Your hand, man.
77. No, no. Look, youâre not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You canât-
78. You look like a fucking wet rat.
79. Weâre going on a date.  -Fuck, yes, we are.-
80. Where the fuck are you?
81. Where the fuck you been?Â
82. You okay?
83. It means we take care of each other.
84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.
85. You look good.
86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.
87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?
88. Will you? Wait?
89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.
90. Look, Iâm, um Iâm getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.-  Wow. -You should come.-
91. Thought a lot about you inside. Youâre under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?
92. Knew youâd come.Â
93. Come here.
94. Iâm gonna see you again?
95. The fuck you looking at?
96. Itâs what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.
97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!
98. You never fucking visited me.
99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.
100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?
101. Fuck, I missed you.
102. What the fuck is that? I donât want your fucking money! I want you to come withâ me.
103. Donât do this.
104. Fuck you, Gallagher.
105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?
106. No, I just did it âcause it was the right thing.
107. Would you be fucking happy? -Yes, fuck, yes!-
108. I guess I need some advice. Itâs about my partner, Ian.
109. Youâre not throwing your fuckinâ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.
110. You donât belong in here, Gallagher.
111. I shouldnât have asked you to stay.
112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.
113. You seen Ian?
114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.
115. Eat your Szechuan beans.
116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.
117. Letâs get out of here, get some Pinkberry.
118. No. No. Iâm not running. I need to protect him.
119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?
120. Fuck it. I do.
121. When you know, you know. You know?
122. No, just saying you donât love me enough now. And thatâs fine. Itâs cool.
123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. Iâll marry you. Of course Iâll fucking marry you.
124. You must really love cock.  -I definitely love one.-
125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, Iâll fuckinâ murder you.
126. Hey, I like the blue ones. -Yeah?-Â
127. You sure you still wanna go through with this? -Yes. Why?-
128. Youâre a sneaky bastard.
129. -Take your meds?-  Yes.  -Good.-
130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.
131. Well, thereâs plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. Iâm sure we can pick one up for cheap.
132. Yeah, well, at least I donât have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.
133. Damn straight, Gallagher.
134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish you till death do us part.
135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?
136. You hungry?
137. You wanna go again?  -Absolutely.-
#ok i'm pretty sure this was legit#sorry yall#i had to#i know you're definitely gonna read all through this#even though yall know every word by heart#we deserve this#shameless#shamelessus#gallavich#gallahitched#gallavich wedding#ian x mickey#mr gallavich#mr millagher#shameless 10x12#Ian Gallagher#mickey milkovich#Shameless season 1 to 10
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Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History
I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.
Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??
There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.
Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"
Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"
Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"
no mike she is not.
I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: âIâll just have to endure itâ ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.
I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.
âHOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRLâ Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.
Bella accusatorily saying âyou were goneâ to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????
Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:
âYouâre asking me about the weatherâ HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DONâT KNOW EACH OTHER
âhey did you get contactsâ WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?
and of course; âitâs the fluorescentsâ [RUNS AWAY]
Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.
Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out
âyouâre not gonna let this go are you?â ânoâ âthen I hope you enjoy disappointmentâ [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS
âI had an adrenaline rush, itâs very common you can google itâ contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.
Edward saying âif you were smart you would stay away from meâ AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]
Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didnât catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance
I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far
âyour hand is so cold,â WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???
SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?
The âyouâre impossibly fast & strongâ monologue is so bad I want to barf
âIâve killed people beforeâ âdoesnât matterâ BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
âMY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROINâ IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.
âAnd so the lion fell in love with the lambâ YOUâVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CANâT WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS
Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? ITâS SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT
The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).
I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!
Esme is too pure for this world I canât deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies
Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping
Esme talking to Rosalie âClean this up..nowâ I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM
Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires donât sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is âno bedâ girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....
WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM ITâS HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought âwell I could always make youâ was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.
âhold on tight spider monkeyâ excuse me while I VOMIT
Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever
THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE
THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM
The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN
WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:
Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.
A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isnât long enough
âMy monkey manâ might be the worst line in this movie, Iâm so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.
Bella's defeated âI canât hurt himâ breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlieâs poor little broken sounding âI know Iâm not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff togetherâ & âI just gotcha backâ LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION
I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didnât find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???
This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.
Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.
If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THEREâS A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???
Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)
Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much
CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!
The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.
Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????
Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point
Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.
I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.
#I had a lot more but I cut it down#a lot of my extra stuff was just talking about RPatz slipping inexplicably into a Spanish accent from time to time#no one seems to notice#but I fucking do#I hear the way he says 'so you're worried' and want to caCKLE OUT LOUD#I'm not nearly as funny as I think I am but ask me if I give a fuck#baby I will subject you to my poor humor#Twilight#Twilight Saga
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