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lorainedoesthings · 7 months ago

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Coming on to say that chapter 5 is… a thing. I’m not even going to lable it, it’s its own thing. I’m very scared of it. It’s going in the opposite direction from which it started.

#hold on i still need you ttte fanfic #oh dear lord help me what am i doing #you guys are gonna suffer #emotional whiplash #i’m scared #I SWEAR I DIDNT MEAN FOR IT TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS #i just #asked a friend if i should add thing #they said yes #now i’m adding said thing and its skeery #kinda #i apologise in advance towards your feelings #chapter 5 is a right mess #that being said i still think chapters 8-12 are the worst

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dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it #already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus #he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans #like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects #like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend #pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years #with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to #realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia #from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h #he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is #giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he #because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough #that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing #damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b #stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons #are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou #his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause #it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his #friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus #cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken #that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go #you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a #condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin #they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing

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lucapizzelles · 5 months ago

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"Fame è il mio secondo nome."

I love when the non-english versions of the movie give me heartbreaking characterizations not as barebones apparent* in the original. what do you mean he's not just "definitely hungry." what do you mean he's hungry so much that he uses the phrase usually reserved for things you're really good at/often find yourself feeling/do a lot ("danger is my middle name" "pizza is my middle name".)

Am i reading too much into this? yeah 100% definitely. dooooooonnnt careeee.

*because tbh you don't need to do much analyzing or digging to come to the conclusion that Alberto likely has a lot of malnourishment going on, but this kinda pushes it to the front

(also, luca infantalizes himself in a lot of the dubs (a lot being the Thai and Italian one, I should check the Spanish one though since I actually know that language) which I could also talk about for a significant amount of time)

#on the luca thing #im about to put all my connections to use and ask my bi/trilingual friends if they wanna watch the respective dubs with me so they can-#tell me if he talks in a babyish way or refers to himself as such.#in the thai one i should add that the infantalization is really just him being polite bc (according to my roommate a while ago #so i may be-#-misremembering) that's just kinda how thai works. but my roommate did point out that he laid it on a bit thick so im running with that #once again debating if i should even tag this #once again going to #luca #alberto scorfano #luca 2021 #also “fame” sounds like “famine” to me so my little english brain did a double take when i first saw the word

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once-in-a-half-life · 5 months ago

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#half life #gman #art #my stuff #i love vandalizing my friends' mirror and whiteboard with gman lmao #for context i guess... the text is based on a song that she had stuck in her head ... y'know the one about ppl losing things and #and the guy singing telling them to check in their butthole #and the art is based on another gman fanart i saw and reblogged some time ago... had this really unhingend artstyle and depicted #depicted gman grabbing his ass. so yeah #i like that fanart so much in fact that i recreated it in gmod too lmao #anyway enough rambling about G-Man's ass #oh but i guess i should add that she asked me to draw gman grabbing his ass after i mentioned not having drawn gman on her mirror in a while #also she said i shouldve written 'did you check up MY butthole dr freeman'. so yeah lmao #artemis rambles

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fingertipsmp3 · 23 days ago

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Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who it’s for and I say it’s for me and the immediate reaction is “you should sell it” yeah… let me spend at least a week’s worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a £2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever 👍🏻

#i say maybe i did this to myself because historically i have gifted most of the items i have knitted #because the venn diagram of things i like to knit vs things i like to wear is actually 2 circles that don’t touch #i looove making hats. i HATE wearing hats #also i love making baby clothes but i don’t have a baby and i’m not going to have a baby #however lately i’ve gotten really into knitting socks and i really like to wear knit socks. it’s like the most affordable way for me to get #quality wool socks. and i’m going to be watching my shows anyway. the time will pass anyways #but it feels like people are deliberately making me feel weird for wanting to make stuff for myself and not profit off my hobby #and like i’ve made 3 pairs of socks to gift already because ‘tis the season or whatever. and i’ve started another pair for a friend whose #birthday is in january #genuinely it’s very weird to hear ‘you should sell it’ or ‘oh i want one!!’ about an item i’m making for myself. after 18 years of gifting #or donating basically everything i’ve ever knitted. like i’ve gifted 2 double bed size crochet blankets #everyone i’ve known who’s had a baby has gotten a cardigan or a blanket or hats or all of the above #i spent october making poppies for the church. i’ve never even stepped foot in my village church mind you. my neighbour asked me to help #do you know what i own? that i’ve knitted? a pair of mittens and a pair of socks.#you want some socks from me? alright. that’s anywhere between £6 and £10 for the yarn and that’s optimistic #i’m currently making myself a pair with hand-dyed yarn that cost me £18 including delivery #the needles i use cost me more than £10. time… let’s call it 24 hours per sock #i don’t know anyone with 18 years experience who makes minimum wage so let’s call it an even 600 for my time. tbh #DO YOU SEE how this isn’t a viable side hussle??? i physically cannot charge what my socks are worth #if i like you and you’re willing to wait; socks are free or cost whatever the yarn costs #if i don’t like or know you venmo me £620. and you’re still going to have to wait.#just pisses me OFF when people suggest i make an etsy page and they say it like they’re doing me a favour or giving me great financial #advice. like you’ve seen me sitting here all evening and i’m barely done with the cuff.. do you actually think selling these for £20 maximum #is going to help me out. i’m not selling them. they’re FOR me. i’m making them because i want them #also when my friend’s family was saying this to me and i was like ‘well the yarn cost a fiver’ and they got quiet and i was thinking yeah…#a fiver is the maximum you cheapskates would pay isn’t it. a fiver is cheap sock yarn bought on sale. or yarn that probably isn’t actually #good for socks. like don’t presume to give me financial advice when you’re this out of touch with the market please #next person who asks when i’m going to start selling socks is getting this whole rant in entirety tbh i don’t care anymore #personal #edited to add that i didn’t even get into etsy fees or whether i would even be noticed among the mountain of dropshippers LOL

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carnelianwings · 2 months ago

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I love telling coworkers “I voted the way you’d expect me to”. It’s a total non-answer that validates their beliefs/perception of me without needing me to put in more effort than I’m willing to give while at work and needing to be Not Offensive to coworkers.

The ones who barely know me outside of work could conceivably think I’d vote red, because “taxes and she gets paid well”.

But the ones who actually know me outside of work, the ones who know my favorite Gundam series is Seed and my favorite character is Cagalli and my favorite superhero is Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel, the ones who’ve seen me at locals early on making sure the one flamboyantly gay new guy (who joined the same time I did) didn’t get picked on, the ones who know I’m bi/pan - those are the ones who know I voted blue.

And the ones who’ve spent even 5 minutes getting me to talk about politics will realize I voted blue only because I’m compromising and settling for no progress (with the hope of a tiny incremental step forward) because backsliding is the worse option of all.

But what do I know? I’m just a(n overeducated, single, career minded) Asian woman who doesn’t know her place.

#Anzu says a thing #I’m tired so very tired #I’m tired from the election #I’m tired of all these stupid ass people voting to shoot themselves in the foot so those they look down on get shot in both #I’m tired and I’m angry and I wish there was a way to get real change and not just hope for change #I’m tired of being scared for my friends #I just want to be able to go to work and hang out with my friends and play card games and we can all laugh and enjoy life together #why is that too much to ask for?#I should add I live in a pink-ish area of a very blue state so I’m always the furthest left person in the room at work

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willel · 1 year ago

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"I'm too busy to discuss this with you right now and I'm totally not repressing my feelings."

#stranger things #willel #will byers #el hopper #lucas sinclair #mike wheeler #my content #I was going to add text but El and Mike's conversation didn't flow quite the same #basically I just now noticed that both Will and El blow of Lucas and Mike when they were trying to apologize or explain themselves #I feel like Lucas's apology came across a little more genuine #his face at the end breaks my heart #Will is SO obviously trying to play it off but #I think Lucas can see that he's hurting so he's like #'Damn... we really hurt him.'#'What should I do?'#I LOVE LUCAS SO MUCH #OENELNWETW #Seriously he is one of the best friends a kid could ask for #He makes mistakes but you can rest assured he'll do anything to make things right #I don't think Will is really upset at Lucas which is the root of why he didn't want/accept Lucas's apology #but still it's clear Lucas wanted to fix whatever was going on and he got walled out #i need lucas and Will scenes next season pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee #anyway #back to the willel parallels #I just find it interesting that when offered apologies #they blew them off #Will did it easily because Lucas could read the room and didn't want to push Will on the subject #El tried to blow Mike off multiple times because she didn't want to talk about it but he wouldn't let her leave #so she kinda unloaded on him a bit #though I'm sure if given the opportunity

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bastardcherub · 3 months ago

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DUDE YOUR ART IS SO STUNNING

AAAA THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!

I barely post it here but I swear I’m still making some HDBDJFKG here’s my newest muse, Sverre,,, cyberpunk/sci-fi setting they’re a robo mechanic who absolutely does have the hots for mechanoids hehehehhe…

#asks #wr3tched-guts #angel art #their proper ref is still a wip even tho it’s the first thing I drew of them bc I changed some stuff abt their design chbsjwjanejd #so have their torso/scar ref and some fun art of them soldering~#I should probably add a username on my art but at this point I just can’t be fuckn bothered HDBFNFKF #I barely post it anywhere anyways #most of the art I make I just share w the friends I’m playing with the ocs with LMAO

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deargravity · 2 months ago

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haiiiii sardini i hope youre weeell !!!!! dyou have any favorite/comfort media like movies or books or anythinf that changed your tastes 4ever !!!!!???

haiii i’m doing okay actually.. college is a horror but we persist. so firstly, i have a LOTTTTT of stuff i really enjoy and no real fixed tastes, except that i don’t like romance-centred plots. i love gothic literature and detective fiction mostly but i’ve been getting into memoirs too etc etc let me get into it

so, FIRST OF ALL i really like sherlock holmes. i grew up on it so it’s given me a taste for cozy mysteries in general and the occasional hardboiled crime/espionage novel. it’s my all-time favourite series but i also have quite a few adaptations i enjoy and return to

- Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle (the original canon, cozy detective fiction)

- Charlotte Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro (a young adult series with 4 books)

- the 1940s Sherlock Holmes movies with Basil Rathbone (all on youtube, btw, a great way to pass the time)

- Moriarty the Patriot (manga series, with 1 season of animation, one of my ALL-TIME favourite adaptation ever)

- Enola Holmes (the book series, but the movies are also really fun)

- Moriarty: The Devil’s Game & The Silent Order by Charles Kindinger (audible original podcast, a moriarty origin story with a refreshing change in perspective, where Moriarty is the heroic protagonist and Holmes is the villain antagonist, a lot of creative and original recharacterisation, it was so interesting just give it a chance)

- Sherlock & Co. (ANOTHER FAVOURITE. and a classic. a podcast too, set in the 21st century and by far, my favourite adaptation of the original stories and just wonderful)

OTHER THAN THAT:

- (book) Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë - got me into gothic horror

- (movie) Good Will Hunting - coming of age (?) movie about friendship, love, potential, and the power of vulnerability

- (movie) Jennifer’s Body - i’m not a horror fan at all actually but this was a horror comedy, iirc and it did give me a taste for evil women in fiction

- (book) Unquiet by Linn Ullman - a recent 4⭐️ read, a very intimate, vulnerable memoir of grief and memory that opened me up in a lot of ways

- (movie) Bound 1996 - lesbian noir film, god i love criminal / mafia lesbians

- (music, album) Folie á Deux by Fall Out Boy

- (animation) Arcane

and you may already know this but i’m also into Paradox Live, A3, Blue Eye Samurai and Mahoyaku. i’ll get into anything if it can promise me a good, fun time I don’t really have limits on the kind of media i can enjoy, except that maybe animanga is a little hard for me to get into.

#sorry for dumping so much i wanted to say more but that’d be too much #i love talking about books and movies especially. but really anything is fine #ro talks #if you’re reading this please feel free to ask me about / talk to me / recommend media to me i enjoy it #also if we like the same things. we should be friends #and if you’re not sure if i’m into something. feel free to ask. i will probably add it to a list if im not into it already #asks

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 7 months ago

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how do y’all move past the impulsive desires that come with existential crises?

#tonight’s meltdown brought to you by my crippling fear of nuclear war!#second night in a row. how cool!#and yes i know there are people actually living through horrible daily bombings as i type this #and i’m lucky and privileged in so so many ways #the desire to end what is happening in those parts of the world absolutely coexist with my fear of war spreading #this is not a ‘well it doesn’t matter until it effects me’ situation #anyway disclaimers aside it’s like.#hard to want to continue to live when it feels like you’re suffering short term only to live long enough to suffer even more down the line?#especially forcing yourself to do things like go to work in a job you hate and that doesn’t really add to the world in the way you want to #while at the same time being like. what if i just asked to kiss my friends?#because i want to and i want to be happy while i can #anyway this devolved into ‘it should be more socially acceptable for friends to kiss if they want to kiss’#and that actually makes me feel a whole lot lighter #thank u for coming to my existential crisis talk #personal

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elenadoeslife · 2 years ago

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your first love hits different