#ask ahoy! matey's

[panlight]

hi. i was wondering if you had any resources to recommend on where to find pdfs of stephenie's works (specifically bree tanner book, life and death maybe, AND THE ILLUSTRATED GUIDE) since for obvious reasons, i don't want to give that woman a single dime, but i want my 50k word fanfics to be fact-checked and to be semi-canon compliant at some point at least (there are so many tiny things about side characters mentioned there so i don't wanna miss out on those). thank you so much for being such an amazing twilight blog!!!

Unfortunately I . . . obtained . . . mine so long ago, that the place I got them from is no longer active.

I'm sure some kind folks in the notes could help out though!

Also would recommended checking your local public library, either in person or digitally! Many libraries use a service like Overdrive/Libby to offer downloadable ebooks and audiobooks, and while you wouldn't get to keep them forever, it's still a way to access Twilight books without spending your money (and supports your library!).

[hana-bobo-finch]

DO NOT THINK I HAVE ANY STREAMING SERVICE THAT HAS ADVENTURE TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, MATEYS

[columboscreens]

what do you use to get screenshots? i watch on tubi and tried to take a screenshot and it just gave me a blank screen

i have the entire series on my hard drive, which i always recommend for beloved media.

lots of streaming services these days will block screenshots. common workarounds include disabling hardware acceleration in your browser or using firefox!

[rock-eating-emo-girl]

Abby quick. Would you rather be a pirate, a cowboy, or a ninja??

A cowboy! Maybe I could fight zombies like the Prarie King!

But riding horses and having guns and saying "This town aint big enough fer the two of us" then spitting a tooth onto the ground is cool too

[quitethepirategal]

Compatibility Bingo! ( Accepting. ) ~ @shiningsilverarmor

" An 18 out o' 25, ay?... I've never really thought of ya that way, if I be honest Sterling... Maybe it's high time that I do? "

[flickerstim]

HELLO could i get a mermaid themed stimboard with a nighttime vibe? with underwater plants and animals, if at all possible. thank you!

Certainly~! You have been @'d on the post, and likewise here is the link :]

[cordeliawhohung]

In Limbo [Chapter 2]

mafia!141 masterlist | In Limbo masterlist | general masterlist | taglist | playlist

mafia!Simon Riley x fem!Reader

[cw: alcohol]

It was always better that way; when you didn’t have someone trying to look out for you. 

wc: 6k

It was always blistering hot in that damn restaurant.

Countless patrons packed tight into booths and tables throughout the building on that busy Saturday night, and the heat that radiated off of them was near suffocating. Sweat clung to every inch of your skin, especially in your armpits, and you had never found yourself secretly so grateful to be dressed in black because at least the evidence was invisible. 

Despite your discomfort, you performed your job to the best of your ability, per usual. You weaved between tables as you led your guests to their seats, packaged at least twenty to-go orders, and only got yelled at by the waitstaff once for seating a family of five incorrectly. Really it was no different from any other night you worked. Things were always chaotic at a restaurant as successful as Sapori, which made things stressful, but your pay as a hostess was at least manageable. And they turned a blind eye when your hours started hitting over the fifty mark in a week, whereas most other places would be finding ways to get you to cut back in order to not pay you overtime. 

It was always better that way; when you didn’t have someone trying to look out for you. 

Except someone was always looking out for you, which is why you shouldn’t have been surprised when you saw Row strut through the entrance with an obnoxious pirate hat on her head. Your first instinct was to grab one of the menus and hide your face as if it would disguise you among the backdrop of the crowd behind you. Row was much too perceptive for you to slip away without consequence, so you continued to stand at your station with only a slight grimace on your face as she approached. 

“Ahoy, matey,” she exclaimed, though with only half the enthusiasm you knew she could muster. 

“I don’t think Jack Sparrow ever said that throughout any of the movies,” you said. 

“Captain Jack Sparrow, mind you,” Row corrected. 

“Right, of course.” 

“I thought you would’ve remembered that better after you oh so ceremoniously dubbed me the name Sparrow after him,” she continued. 

The thing was, Row could go on for ages like that, bickering back and forth with you until one of you got sick of it and complained hard enough that the other was forced to stop. Judging by the excitement that pooled in her eyes and the playful way she kept messing with her cheap pirate hat, you knew she could go all night if she needed to. Instead, you sighed as you quickly glanced over your shoulder, ensuring things were still going smoothly behind you before you turned your attention back to Row. 

“What are you doing here?” you questioned as you fiddled with the stack of menus in front of you. 

“I’m here to pick you up,” Row responded as if you should have already known the answer. 

Just as you opened your mouth to question her further, the answer smacked the back of your head. Halloween. No wonder why she wore that stupid foam hat. Earlier in the week you had agreed to go to John’s club to celebrate the stupid holiday, and then completely forgot about it. Which is why you neared hour eleven of your eight hour shift. Usually you didn’t mind the extra hours, however, if you had remembered you would have been finishing your night off in a packed nightclub during a holiday, well… you would’ve been home attempting to recharge a long time ago. 

“You’re off soon, aren’t you?” Row then asked when your silence started to stretch. 

“Uhm, yeah,” you answered as your eyes flickered to the clock on your left. Five to ten. “Just give me five minutes and I’ll be good to go.” 

In reality, no amount of preparation could ever truly ready you for any sort of intense social outing, and you dreaded arriving at the club the entire ride there. You had only been to John’s club one other time previously for Row’s birthday, and that had been more than enough for you. Despite it being years ago, you could still smell the rancid alcohol and feel the bass of the music ripple through your chest as if it would turn your organs into jelly. Everything was too loud, too much, too close. 

But this was Row. 

So when the two of you stood outside of that hulking building that shook from the inside out, you tried your best not to complain. A deep throb began to gnaw at the soles of your feet from standing for so long, and a tension headache blossomed at your temples, but at least you were offered the solace of entering through the VIP section rather than the main door. Countless people stood outside in line for even the slightest chance of being admitted, which should have made you feel special being allowed through another entrance, but you knew that meant the inside was packed more than work had been. 

Except it got worse. Because it always got worse. 

You almost didn’t recognize the large figure that stood outside of the VIP entrance, but once those dark eyes landed on you, you knew it couldn’t be anyone other than Simon Riley. That odd, searing feeling that had plagued you the night you went to dinner at the Price’s quickly returned as his gaze meandered back and forth between you and Row. They were soft, inquisitive. As if he couldn’t quite comprehend why you were in a place like that. As if he knew you didn’t belong in a place like that. 

“Evenin’ ladies,” he greeted casually. 

Even if you hadn’t recognized him visually, his voice would have been more than enough to jog your memory. You could still feel his breath tickle your ear as he leaned over your back to guide your hands into place while playing pool. The sound of him  was a delicious baritone you were certain would haunt you in your sleep. 

“Stuck on guard duty tonight, Riley?” Row teased. 

“Somethin’ like that,” Simon responded. 

“Shame. Well, Chip and I-” Row continued as she put too much emphasis on your name while she threw her arm around your shoulder, “-are going to get wasted.” 

A slight smirk pulled at Simon’s lips and you couldn’t help but shake your head at Row’s triumphant claim. She could get wasted if she wished. You planned on trying to keep your wits about you best as you could in that foreboding place. 

“That so?” Simon asked. He said it as if he attempted to challenge your friend, but he still stepped to the side and gestured to the open door behind him all the same. “Cheers.” 

There wasn’t any time to glance over your shoulder before Row pressed onward, making sure to drag you along with her. Walking into John’s club was what you imagined walking into hell felt like. Thick, hot air threatened to singe your hair, and you instantly found it hard to breathe. Countless patrons surrounded the entryway, and it appeared that Row wasn’t the only one who felt festive as many of them wore masks, cheap costumes, or on the not-so-rare-occasion, straight lingerie. The cheering and chatting from the dance floor could almost be confused with the screams of the damned, and you found yourself taking deeper breaths than normal in order to supply your brain with enough oxygen to keep going. 

“Come on!” Row shouted. Even with her yelling right into your ear it was nearly impossible to hear her over the mess of music that poured through the speakers around you. “Up top! More room!” 

Despite the fact you were in the VIP section, it was still incredibly crowded. Whenever you thought of a section like that, you usually figured it would be a bit more sparse than that. Perhaps it was just that night, wild and full of insane antics, that caused the crowd to grow larger than expected, but there was slight reprieve to be found on the second floor. Though the elevation was higher, the air felt fresh as it had fewer bodies to attempt to weave through. 

After you and Row got your drinks, the two of you made yourselves at home at a small table on an overhanging balcony that overlooked the dance floor. Surprisingly, it was quieter there than anywhere else, which you realized must have been thanks to the fact you sat behind the speakers for once rather than in front of them. Still, even with the slight break from the usual bustle, you couldn’t help but mess with the straw of your mostly full drink while your foot tapped on the floor. 

“Well?” Row asked you expectantly. She said the word as if she had given you a question to answer, but it was the first thing that had been said between the two of you since you had sat down. “How have you been? Really? I feel like we weren’t able to talk the other night with all the extra distractions.” 

“Oh. Well, you know…” you started, but the words died in your throat. 

It was never easy answering a question like that. How were you supposed to twist your life into something interesting when you were anything but? All you had done since the dinner at her house was work, and if you weren’t working then you were sleeping with whatever free time you managed to scrounge up. No, the only things worth telling her were the things you couldn’t tell her, but it wasn’t like that was anything new. You had gotten so good at lying, you could almost convince yourself that you were just a very good storyteller. 

Almost. 

“Just work, mostly,” you excused. 

“Oh, come on,” Row groaned. She took a quick sip of her drink (rum, as she made sure to point out) before overdramatically leaning back in her chair. “You always say that. It really is just work with you, huh? Don’t you have any hobbies? Don’t you get out? Try to talk to people?” 

You nearly laughed at her questioning. Out of anyone in the world, Row should have known about your inability to really keep friends around. After so many years of knowing one another, those questions almost made it seem like the two of you were strangers. Maybe you were, in some way. 

“I think we both know that getting out is more your thing than mine,” you said, attempting a bit of humor. 

“It could be your thing too if you didn’t ditch me half the time I invited you somewhere,” Row countered, not as humorous. As if tasting her own venom, she sighed and leaned forward, face softer. “I meant what I said the other night. You are worrying me. More than a little.” 

In order to give yourself some time to think, you raised your cup off the table to take a small sip, only to instantly regret it. Your childish, as Row put it, vodka cranberry was about nine parts vodka and one part cranberry juice. For someone who couldn’t afford to drink all that often, it tasted worse than cough medicine on your tongue, and you nearly choked. 

“What’s there to worry about?” you asked. 

“What isn’t there to worry about?” Row countered. “I mean, you’re working yourself half to death, it seems like you never do anything for you- hell, I don’t even think you’ve managed to score a boyfriend, let alone make it to first-fucking-base.” 

“I think I’m doing just fine without a partner,” you interjected. 

“My point is,” Row continued, refusing to listen to whatever petty excuses you tried to muster, “I’m terrified you’re still trying to punish yourself.” 

It was difficult to believe that a place so full of life could fall so silent, and yet the only sound you could hear was the ringing in your ears. Tinnitus, the doctors said. Normal. Typical. Absolutely plaguing. There was nothing you could say in response. Her words stunned you, because unlike usual, she saw right through you. At least she put you out of your misery and continued talking so that you didn’t have to. 

“Look, I… know we’re not really family. It’s not my place to say stuff like this, but it’s… fuck.” Row cut herself off with a chuckle and a slight shake of her head. “I know I didn’t know you before everything happened. Hell, you could have always been like this. But it’s concerning all the same. I just don’t want you to blame yourself for surviving.” 

It must have been the alcohol. Surely. Row never talked about the accident, and neither did you. After all those years, a silent rule had settled between the two of you where you would never speak of it. Not when the anniversary of it came around. Not even when the events plagued your sleep. It was easy to pretend you were quiet about it for Row’s sake rather than your own; but really, you didn’t talk about it because you were certain the guilt would choke you on its way out of your throat. 

“It’s not your fault, you know. For surviving,” Row continued. 

You swallowed. 

“I know,” you lied. 

Row raised an eyebrow at you incredulously, and you quickly forced a half smile on your face before she could chastise you for your sloppy deception. Usually you were better at lying, but she had caught you off guard in what you could only assume was quite literally a plea to get your shit together. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever not feel guilty about it, Row,” you said a bit more truthfully. “That’s the kind of stuff that stays with you. But I know it’s not my fault, and I’m not trying to self-sabotage or anything but I’ll… try harder.” 

A bittersweet smile crossed her face and you found your eyes adverting to the cup of bitter liquid in your hands in order to avoid the sight of it. She was much too caring for someone who didn’t deserve it. 

“Well, good. I know it’s more complicated than I’ll ever be able to understand, but I just want to make sure that you know you’re not alone in this. You’ll always have me, no matter what,” she finished, but the words rolled off of her tongue awkwardly. As if she had expected more of a fight from you. 

An awkward silence fell between the two of you after her strange attempt at a confession, yet everything continued to pulse around you. The music that vibrated the very air, the patrons who jumped and danced below you like a heaving pile of flesh; it all continued. The only thing that had changed was the stale scent in the air. 

“Well, what a way to ruin the fun, huh? Alright, enough sappy talk for the night, I promise,” Row chuckled as she adjusted the foam pirate hat on her head. “I’m just about empty. Wanna come with me for a refill?” 

Just like Row had claimed, she spent the rest of the evening getting wasted, and it didn’t take her long to get there. In a matter of hours her speech was so slurred her words blended into the mess of noise around you, and she could hardly hold herself steady when she brought you over to the pool table for what she promised was going to be a quick game. Her inebriation got so concerning you had all but forgotten your anxiety and discomfort in favor of paying extra close attention to your friend, lest she pass out while standing up. 

Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that you had something to focus on other than the prying eyes around you. Despite how late into the night it got, the club only seemed to grow more packed by the minute, and you were certain the roof of that place would pop off any moment. Row seemed completely immune to any outside forces as she sloppily leaned over the pool table and attempted to make her shot. Your pool game had gone on for at least forty minutes; half in part due to Row missing a majority of her shots, and half in part due to her not being able to shut up long enough to focus on hitting anything properly. 

“This table needs to stop leaning,” Row muttered. 

“It’s not leaning, you’re just drunk,” you corrected. 

“I know that,” she whined. “Doesn’t change the fact it’s leaning.” 

Playfully, you rolled your eyes at her just as she flubbed up another shot. She straightened herself up and attempted to adjust her crooked pirate hat, only to make it worse, though, she didn’t seem to mind all that much as a grin crossed her lips. 

“Too bad Riley isn’t here to give us some pointers, huh?” she teased. 

There was something in the tone of her voice that sent a jolt through your body, and that familiar, yet confusing, heat coursed through your body again. Your skin recalled the way Simon felt against you, how his hands so carefully guided yours, how his voice rattled your eardrum so deliciously… 

“He seems busy with work,” you excused. 

Row’s grin quickly melted into something else at your comment. It wasn’t quite malicious, yet there was something off about it. Like she knew something you didn’t. 

“Shame,” she quipped. “The two of you seemed awfully comfy the other night.” 

Of course she would bring that up. Really, you had tried to forget about that event the entire week, but to no avail. No matter how much you distracted yourself, your mind would always wander back to his words and his warmth. The odd thing was, there wasn’t even anything lustful about it. It had just been the first time a man had touched you and hadn’t made your skin crawl. 

“He was just being helpful,” you claimed. 

“You know, you should just date him,” Row said, ignoring your comment. 

For a moment, all you could do was stand there and blink. “You’re being ridiculous.” 

“No, I’m being serious,” she slurred. “He’s a good guy, really. Quiet, too. Bit of an arse but I think you two get on well.”

“Row, I don’t think that’s-” 

“And you need someone to look out for you at home, too. Those apartments look like they’re falling apart at the seams, you’re gonna get fucking robbed one of these days.” 

“Really, it’s-”

“He also seems to be having a much better time following us around now that you’re here. He never seems this interested when it’s just me.” 

Ice formed in your veins at her comment, and you found yourself standing there dumbfounded. Following us around? You couldn’t even bring yourself to attempt to look around for him, you were stunned and in too much disbelief to even process it that far. As for Row, her words seemed to have the exact effect she had hoped for, and she didn’t even attempt to hide her grin from you. 

“What? You mean you haven’t noticed your little shadow?” she teased as she gestured to the area behind you. 

It was only then that you braved a glance over your shoulder, and you felt your throat grow dry at the sight of Simon. He sat at one of the small round tables in a chair that obviously didn’t fit him right. Long legs stretched out to the side in order to accommodate his height, and he slouched back something fierce as if he attempted to make himself appear smaller. Luckily his attention seemed to be absorbed by his phone, which casted a dull glow on his face. You weren’t sure you could handle it if you looked back at him just to find him already staring. 

“John likes to send him as a guard dog whenever I come here, since things can get a little crazy sometimes,” Row explained. “I promise he’s not being a weirdo. Not on purpose, anyway.” 

Things only got worse after that. Her teasing, her insisting that you try to talk to him, her drinking. Her words and insinuations made your mind spin more than the small sips of alcohol you allowed in your system, and your only saving grace was that John crawled out of his office half past midnight in order to wrangle her in. It was impossible to talk sense into her, it seemed. You watched awkwardly from the sidelines as John steadied your friend by her hips, trying to keep her from swaying too much. All Row could do was giggle as she pulled at John’s shirt in an attempt to kiss him. It was a miracle that she hadn’t gathered too much attention with the scene she caused, but you still found your eyes flickering around the area as if danger lurked just beyond where the light could reach. 

Though you got severe secondhand embarrassment from it all, there was something a little endearing about it all. John’s patience with her was unmatched, and you found him grinning at her more often than he chastised her. They acted as if they were the only two people in the entire building, and you wondered what that must have felt like. To not be so on edge that you felt and saw everything at once. To be so carefree that not even the hellish cheers coming from below could distract them from one another. 

“Wanna get some fresh air?”

You hadn’t even realized Simon had approached you until his fingertips rested on the wood of the pool table in front of you. Like a magnet, your eyes were drawn to him, but you tried not to stare too long, lest he read every thought hiding in your mind. 

“Huh?” you asked; not because you hadn’t heard him, but because you were somewhat perplexed by his offer. 

“Thought we could give the lovebirds over here some alone time,” he chuckled. 

Everything in you screamed no. Despite his apparent kindness to you and Rows - inebriated - trust in him, you still didn’t exactly know Simon. All he really was to you was a stranger. A kind one, but something unknown all the same, and following a stranger outside always seemed like a bad idea. Still, the air in that building had suffocated you since the very moment you stepped inside, and maybe you were a little too grateful to have an excuse to leave for a little while.

Toward the back area of the VIP section, there was a heavy door that led out to a terrace that overlooked part of the alleyway and the street below. Plenty of people still mingled about, though they appeared much more laid back than the people inside. Cold autumn air chilled your feverish skin as Simon guided you underneath a canopy of lights that hung above your heads and towards a thick metal railing. 

The cold iron felt nice in the palm of your hands, and it was only then that you realized how exhausted you were. Over ten hours of your day had been spent at work, slaving away on your feet, and instead of being able to pass out once you got home, you had been stuck at that cursed club. Of course you adored Row, and you would do anything for her, but going through all that work and effort just to watch her get wasted wasn’t exactly what you’d consider a night well spent. 

“You smoke?” Simon asked as he shuffled his hand into the pocket of his jeans. 

You watched him carefully as he took out a pack of smokes and started beating the bottom of the carton against the palm of his hand. Little hints of the tattoo’s that covered his arms poked out from underneath the sleeves of his shirt, and you tried your best not to stare. 

“No,” you replied while you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“Good,” he hummed. “Don’t start.” 

It didn’t take long for him to light the thing and start puffing away. The scent of it surprisingly wasn’t as strong as you expected it to be, and he was kind in the way he ensured to blow the smoke well out of your way. 

“So, what’re you dressed up as?” he asked. 

You chuckled at his question and stared down at your work uniform. It wasn’t anything special. Just a plain black dress shirt along with matching pants. Black was always the color of choice in the serving industry. It was easier to hide stains that way, be it from food or sweat. 

“Oh uh, a Sapori hostess,” you replied humorously. “Didn’t really have time to change before getting dragged out here.” 

He hummed again. “Sapori. Heard that place is pretty fancy.” 

“It’s up there, yeah,” you concurred. 

“They pay well?”

“Sixteen.”

“Not great.”

You shrugged. “Pays the bills.” 

A sharp breath of air sounded from Simon as he inhaled another long draw from his cigarette, and it was only then that you realized that was probably the longest conversation that you had with someone that wasn’t either Row or someone from work. Not even Marco could force a conversation out of you for that long. It was odd. Foreign. Yet you didn’t want it to end. It was difficult to explain, but talking to Simon came natural, even with the insane heat he sparked inside of you. 

“What about you?” you asked. “I know you work for John, but what do you do for him?” 

“Security, mostly. And whatever odd jobs he assigns,” Simon answered. “Usually end up workin’ nights. Same as you, I imagine.” 

“Yeah, though I usually am off by midnight most nights.” You laughed as you answered his question, and you weren’t quite sure why. “I’d be in bed by now if it wasn’t for Row.” 

“Row?” Simon repeated. “What’d she do to earn a nickname like that?” 

“I could tell you, but I think I’d have to kill you afterwards,” you laughed. 

“Ah, one of those stories,” Simon chuckled. There was another pause in the conversation as Simon finished off the rest of his cigarette before tossing it onto the cement at his feet and stomping out the embers. “Alright, what about your name then, Chip?” 

You opened your mouth to answer him, only for your lips to instantly seal shut. Really, the story of your nickname was probably more embarrassing than Row’s, or maybe it only felt that way because it was tied to you. Like every little thing about you was pathetic and something to be hidden. 

“A while back, Row’s grandma invited us over for tea. The cup she gave me was broken just a little bit on the rim. I was too… I don’t know, nervous I guess, to ask for another cup so I drank out of the broken one the entire time. When Row found out she laughed so hard and said it was like that little teacup from Beauty and the Beast, Chip. She’s called me that ever since.” 

A quiet hum escaped Simon as he fully turned to face you. Without the cigarette between his fingers to distract him, he was able to give you his complete and undivided attention. The way he looked at you was strange, and you weren’t sure what to make of the odd churning in your stomach. It wasn’t sickening, nor skin crawling, but it made your insides feel as if they were on fire.

“Cute,” he commented. 

“Riley!” 

Both you and Simon turned at the calling of his name, and it didn’t take long for either of you to find the source. John marched out onto the terrace with Row stumbling behind him. She had somehow managed to lose her hat since you last saw her, though she didn’t seem too heartbroken about it as she threw her arms around you the moment you were within reach. 

“I missed you,” she slurred, rum heavy on her breath. 

“I was only gone for a few minutes,” you laughed. 

“Too long.”

“Riley,” John repeated again, ignoring his wife’s antics, “would you take the girls home for me? Don’t want them trying to head home alone when she’s this drunk. Take the car, since I’m sure you probably took your bike here, yeah?” 

The man fished a set of keys out of his pocket before handing them to Simon, who shook them around a bit as if he liked the sound of the jingle. “I’ll take care of ‘em.” 

Getting Row into her car proved to be a difficult task, though it wasn’t nearly as entertaining as watching Simon struggle into his seat. The poor man proved to be significantly taller than Row was, and he managed to bash the side of his head on the roof of the car. After some quiet cursing from him, and merciless giggles from Row, he managed to move the seat back far enough that he wasn’t completely scrunched over, and he took off once he ensured both you and Row were buckled in the back seat. 

“This is what you get for being so tall,” Row teased. “I mean, really. There is no reason for anyone to be that tall.” 

“You know, your husband is only a bit shorter than me,” Simon retorted. 

“Yeah, but he puts his inches somewhere more important than height,” she muttered, just low enough for only you to hear. 

By the time you had pulled into the driveway, Row had managed to sober up, but only slightly. Still, Simon made sure to step out of the driver's seat and walk around to the back side of the car in order to help her out. Once she was steady on her own feet, Row turned around to look at you, where she pointed her finger at you as if in warning. 

“Stay,” she ordered.

Confused, you glanced at Simon awkwardly before looking back at her. “Aye, aye, captain.” 

Once you gave your confirmation, she slammed the door shut behind her and allowed Simon to lead her inside of the house. It only took her about three failed attempts to get the keys in the lock so that they could enter the dark and quiet house. Simon was going to leave then, as she had gotten into the house plenty fine. He knew that Row was more than capable of taking care of herself for the night, despite her state, but before he could even turn around, she turned to face him with her hands on her hips. 

“Chip,” she spoke, “I want you to keep an eye on her.” 

Dumbfounded, Simon raised a brow as he crossed his arms in the doorway. “Of course.” 

“I don’t just mean tonight,” Row corrected. “I mean, even after tonight. Every day or so if you can manage it.” 

Now, that request truly did confuse him. He had only met you two times, and you seemed plenty capable of taking care of yourself. You were a grown woman, after all, yet Row attempted to make it seem like you were some helpless creature. Then again, he had only met you two times; there wasn’t a whole lot he knew about you, and Row wasn’t one to be overly dramatic. If there was something about you that worried her, it was worth at least hearing her out. 

“She alright?” he questioned. 

“No. Yes. I don’t know,” Row sighed. She rubbed at her eyes as if she could remove the drunken haze that clogged her vision. “It’s difficult to tell with her. She’s really good at keeping things hidden, but I just know something’s wrong. I’d just… feel a lot better if you were able to look out for her.” 

Keeping an eye on what was essentially his boss’s wife’s sister wasn’t exactly how Simon imagined spending his time, but you seemed like a nice enough girl. Nodding his head, he shoved his hands in his pockets as he glanced behind his shoulder at the car you sat in. After all, there were only two things Simon Riley was good at doing; fighting, and protecting. 

“Consider it done.” 

Once Simon was done dropping Row off, his next objective was ensuring you got home. The drive to your apartment was much quieter than you had expected, but with it nearing two in the morning you were too tired to say anything coherent. Simon seemed to read this, and instead turned up the volume on whatever radio station Row had been listening to when she picked you up from work. 

You must have nodded off during the drive, because the next thing you knew, your door opened up and Simon stood with his hand stretched out for you to take. Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you took his hand and allowed him to help you out of your seat before you started digging through your uniform for your keys. 

“Thank you for the ride, Simon,” you said once you had them in hand. 

“No problem,” he replied, though he didn’t look like he was getting ready to leave. It wasn’t until he glanced at the old, somewhat dilapidating, building that you realized he intended to walk you to your door, just like he had done with Row. “Which floor do you live on?” 

Each step that you took up to the third floor was grueling, and you would have taken the lift had it not been out of order for the last two months. Your feet throbbed with every movement, and by the time you made it to your door you were ready to pass out. Your keys slid into the lock with ease, and with a simple turn of the knob the door swung open to reveal your studio apartment. A few dim lamps were the only light source for the area, but it was more than enough for you to function in to get ready for bed. 

As you turned to face Simon, ready to dismiss him so you could get some well earned sleep, you noticed his  attention had been drawn to your door. Everything in that building was near ancient, but your door and windows were probably the worst. Peeling paint, and rusting brass plagued the door, but he seemed more interested in the plating on the frame. 

“Find something interesting?” you questioned. 

“More concernin’ than anythin’ else,” he muttered in response. His fingers brushed against the old metal plating, and his nails scraped at the screws holding it in place. “How long ago were these replaced?” 

You shrugged. “I’ve no idea.” 

“I’ll get you new hardware,” he said as he straightened himself up. “Someone could sneeze on the damn thing and it would fall over.”

There were a million words that flooded into your mind on why he didn’t need to do that, and you were certain they would have left your mouth had you not been so exhausted. Instead of trying to deny his words, all you could do was yawn as you glanced towards your bed, which had been shoved into the far corner of the room. You were about ready to pass out in the spot you stood in. 

“Get some rest, yeah?” he prompted as he placed his hand on the doorknob. 

You turned to face him with a smile, and for a moment you were at a loss for words. The light of the hallway casted a dark shadow on his face, and yet his look of quiet concern still appeared so soft. A small smile graced your lips before you were able to stop it, and you gave him a curt nod. 

“I will. Goodnight, Simon,” you said, voice nearly at a whisper. 

Even though he was a tall and intimidating man, you did not feel the least bit of fear as you watched him stand in your doorway. Any other time, you most likely would have felt trapped if a large man blocked you from exiting your home, yet there was nothing insidious about Simon. Especially not the small smile that managed to tug at his lips as he began to shut the door. 

“Sweet dreams, love.”

[hogans-heroes]

Review of the digital/USB copy of Masters of the Air from Walmart (it's a wild ride)

So i was very curious when I found Walmart selling a USB drive with digital MOTA. It's not announced on physical copies anywhere? So I spent the $30 and waited.

It showed up in just a few days looking VERY sketch, literally a plain USB taped up in a piece of cardboard and bubble wrap.

At this point I was fairly certain this is “Ahoy matey-ed”🏴‍☠️☠️and with much trepidation I plugged it into my computer, with not very high expectation for the quality at best case scenario...

Lovely, this instills confidence.

All episodes are there, no idea what an .MKV file is but my usual computer media player can handle it. I click.

And

HOOOOOLY SHIT WOW IT WORKSSS!!!!????

NOT ONLY is the picture and audio quality really great (though definitely not as high definition as Apple TV), its easily navigable and HAS CAPTIONS in SO MANY languages??????

I'm seriously freaking out with excitement. The possibilities for gif makers and video editors and people who want screenshots is endless! These are all just files!

This is also fantastic news for people that don't have acess to Apple TV and having files on USB means there's no DVD region bs to deal with!! Power to the people!

Here's the link y'all. Christmas came early.

DISCLAIMER: Still seems suspicious and I'm not sure if it's 🏴‍☠️ or not, but then why being sold at Walmart?? Is there a company rivalry we're not privy to?

LAST NOTE: In case anyone can't get the USB for whatever reason, I have uploaded a "playlist" (wink) of my "favorite songs" that remind me of each episode on goog!e drive here. Quality isn't as good and no captions, but...in a pinch.

(Edit): It’s been brought to my attention that Walmart lets rando third party sellers sell under their name which BLOWS my mind and is ridiculous so order these at your own risk. You’re totally welcome to use the Google drive files or ask me to make you a usb from the files I have (which includes all the captions).🙌

[oddly-specific-ryan-ross]

just wanna say again ur my favorite ryan ross blogger ever. could u maybe post some pics of your PERSONAL favorite ryan ross fit?

first off thank you so much you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that !!!!!!!1!1!1!1!

now, my favourite ryan ross outfit.. I don't think you realise how difficult a thing you're asking me to choose just one but ......

it's this fuckass pirate looking one that he wore throughout shows around the end of 2006 (to my knowledge). how many letters in 'ryan ross'? that's right. ate the fuck down. did not need to slay this hard with this arrgh ahoy matey looking outfit.

VERY honorable mentions to:

- any of his pinstripe vest suit situations, they heavily influence my own style

- the pink suit

- this sort of purple rose jacket with white pants he'd always wear together

remind me to make posts about all of these

[starrclown]

☆ Redesign Time/Have Tea With Me: The Black Characters of Hazbin Hotel, The Radio Demon ☆

Note: Okay I kinda feel like a cheat because it isn't a whole redesign, it's just two sketchy headshots. Sorry it's not a full design. Sorry also it isn't my Stolitz Rewrite... but I have 10 followers now!! I know that's not alot but hey, it means people actually WANT to read these blogs and see my art. I'll take it!!)

Ahoy Matey's!! So there has been two controversies going on withing the Hazbin Hotel fandom. 1 has been long term while the other is semi recent.

Have tea with me while we talk about it 🫖🍵:

1. The black/people of color don't have any features of their race.

2. Alastor's voodoo symbols.

I will not be talking about Alastor's voodoo. I am a white boy and I am not educated enough to talk about Voodoo. What I'm here to talk about is that none of the poc look like poc. Let's play another game. What is the race of these characters:

Have your guess? Their black. Sera is black, Velvette is black, and Alastor is Creole. All are black and or mixed and none of them have any ethnic features. All of them are gray. (I'm just saying it's sad when me, a white boy that has 2c/3a hair, has curlier hair then people with textured hair.)

(Also, Alastor, who is not a good guy but is the good guy team, is light gray. Velvette, who is on the villains side, is dark gray. I'm not accusing Viv of being racist but I find it weird.)

The problem is so easy to fix. GIVE THEM ETHNIC FEATURES!! ITS SO EASY!! No one's expecting you to draw every individual braid or dreadlock but oh my god!! Give them textured hair! Or I don't know, NOT ASHY GRAY SKIN!! BLACK PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL VIV!! YOU CAN MAKE THEM BROWN ITS OKAY I SWEAR!! Sorry that got aggressive. Look, I just said that I am not a poc but there's no way they don't have black people on the SpindleHorse team. Hell, you can just ask people on Twitter or the black people you know!! Seriously, it's not hard to learn to draw ethnic features! It's really fun actually! I had so much fun drawing the second hairstyle!! Speaking if which!! (Drum noises)

Drawing these hairstyles were so fun yall. Andddddd, you get a sneak peak at what my Alastor redesign might look like! If you can tell what I'm going for then you get a cookie. Dude the second hairstyles was so fun. Like honestly. I do think I can do the first hairstyle, (I think I know the nameof this hairstyle but I don't want to be wrong.), better but thats for me to practice on my own time. Seriously I had so much fun drawing these. Hell I didn't even line them. Those are sketches with colors. These aren't final designs or anything, I still need to adjust colors and get his outfit planned out but I think I know where I'm going with this!!

The hairstyles I used:

It's just really sad seeing how SpindleHorse treats its poc characters. Textured hair can come in so many different types and hairstyles, you just wasting them making have straight hair with choppy waves. (Side note: Does anyone else like get excited when they draw new things? Like I was happy drawing Al's hair. I got excited learning how to draw my curls. I tried learning how to draw a hijab. It's really fun actually!! I highly suggest to challenge yourself drawing other types of hair types, races, religions, clothing. Seriously it helps your art and representation is important.)

There were other examples I couldn't list but I don't want this to be long. I want to get back to my Stolitz post but I HAD to draw Alastor with textured hair. Seriously Viv, he's Creole, at least make him look like it if your not even going to try and make him look like what he's described.

I have about 60% of the Stolitz post done! I encourage you to draw something new and to commit mass amounts of tax fraud!! Goodbye Matey's!!

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[athena-xox]

Okay lots of people don’t like Dizzie (Daring/Lizzie) and say they have no chemistry. Which is fair IN THE TV SERIES. but I’m a wonderlandiful world? Even tho Darings barely in it he still has so much chemistry with Lizzie. Maybe it’s just my theatre kid heart (hahaha) but like they’re so adorable.

AND WHEN LIZZIE KNIGHTED HIM.

Okay minor spoilers for a wonderlandiful world, I’m going to put some of my favourite Dizzie quotes from there.

“Now, kneel.”

Cedar was surprised to see Daring do so without argument.

Through some twist of magic, Lizzie’s butter knife had enlarged with him, now as big as a sword. She picked it up, solemnly touching its flat side to each of Daring’s shoulders.

“I knight you a defender of Wonderland, Sir Daring Charming. Heroic, loyal, fuzzy doom.”

“Yes, exactly like a pirate,” Lizzie said. “I would be much more comfortable speaking with you if you were a pirate.”

Briar put a finger to her chin, considering, and promptly glided to the ground, fast asleep.

“Arrr, Lizzie Hearts! Have ye killed Briar Beauty?” a voice asked from behind.

Daring Charming sauntered up and saluted her. He’d been so accommodating with her pirate request that Lizzie felt certain her mother couldn’t disapprove of their friendship.

“Aren’t you supposed to be racing?” Lizzie asked.

“No rush,” he said. “I always win. Even when I don’t.” He winked at her. “Ahoy, matey.”

“Daring swooped into a royal bow and said, “Be still, my heart! A fair princess has arrived!” And, strangely, he was looking at Lizzie, not Apple. Daring’s complimentary, showy stuff seemed to set the Ever After girls’ lashes aflutter, but Lizzie raised an eyebrow.

“If your heart were still, Mr. Charming,” she said, “then you would be dead.”

“Excuse me?” Daring asked.

“You said ‘be still, my heart,’ thereby commanding your heart to stop beating,” said Lizzie. “If your heart is obedient, I expect you to drop dead at my feet.”

Daring stared at Lizzie. He opened his mouth and seemed surprised when a chuckle escaped it. Lizzie smirked. She didn’t often hear Daring Charming chuckle.”

Off with its head!” shouted Lizzie.

Daring drew his sword with a flash of steel and an equally brilliant flash of a white-toothed smile.

“I’m just the prince for the job,” he said.

Lizzie smiled in surprise that someone was actually taking her seriously.

Daring winked

Lizzie lifted one hand, posing as she had on the amphitheater’s stage. “I

have returned, Boreas, wind-herder, to watch you writhing in the agony of age and death.”

Daring laughed heroically. “What a battle. Bards will sing of my deeds! Or perhaps a pop singer. Do you listen to Katy Fairy?”

“I do not!” Lizzie said grandly. “But I shall listen to her squalling posthaste as you are my friend, and friends recommend music to each other!

The audience gasped. Lizzie smiled. Maybe this strutting-about-a-stage business wasn’t so bad. She glanced at the anxious face of Headmaster Grimm for inspiration and decided to make up a few more lines. “I will not be the daughter who does nothing but watch her wrinkled father writhe with the agony of age and death, your voice slowly becoming more nasal and oddly high-pitched, as if you were being strangled by a possum or a really weak octopus or something.”

Daring pressed his lips together, valiantly attempting to hold back a laugh, and ultimately failing.

Darabella, Darise, Dapple or Farring could never. Also Dizzie technically got the beauty and the beast (well daring as a beast and Lizzie is always obviously beautiful) arc first. Even if it was sadly under developed.

Anyways Shannon Hale obviously ships Dizzie (well probably idk if she’s said anything on the matter) and it’s the best Daring ship. I suppose Kizzie (Kitty x Lizzie) kind of comes close but they just don’t have that romantic tension like her and daring do.

Anyways I think more people should appreciate them.

[duskstargazer]

[1997]

“Ahoy, matey!” Salty called. “Come in, come in, make yerself at home!”

Timothy smiled. He’d stayed the night at the harbour before, but it always felt odd entering a shed belonging to an unfamiliar face.

“So, ye’re seekin’ some refuge from those little rascals, are ye?”

Timothy chuckled. “You could say that.”

“They arguing again?” Rosie asked.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” The oil-burner sighed.

“Oh, I’d believe it. I’ve been putting up with them since I moved here.” She chuckled. “If we’re quiet enough, we might be able to hear them bickering from here.”

“I’d rather not focus on that,” Timothy admitted.

“Yeah no, I was joking. I’d be pretty upset if we could hear them from here. It’d ruin the peace.”

“It is quite peaceful out here.” Timothy agreed.

“You can see a lot more stars from here as well, especially when they turn out some of the floodlights. Wellsworth is nice ‘n’ all, but it’s got a lot of light pollution.”

“Aye. I think that up there might be the Big Dipper. Or is it the Little Dipper? I can never remember which one be which.”

Rosie laughed. “The Big Dipper has a straighter handle, and bends near the top. At least that’s how my driver explained it to me.”

"And its stars are farther apart, hence the names." Her stoker added.

The three engines chatted a bit more, their conversation drifting from stars and constellations, to shunting, to pesky yellow saddle tanks.

[gatoinside]

Ahoy, mateys! We are the Paw Pirates! Nice to meet you!

We are a pirate crew made up of more than 80 animals, mostly cats. Requirements to join? Seeking an adventure with friends!

The crew was founded by our two captains and our navigator on 2015. We sail the seas with our ship, the infamously adorable Fluffy Deck.

Our Jolly "roarger" is a paw. Remember that if you see it in a drawing (bottom right), it means that at least one of the characters is a member of the Paw Pirates.

We'll be introducing ourselves from time to time and we'll explain a bit of ourselves so you can get to know us.

Feel free to ask anything you're curious about!

~ All Likes/Comments/Shares are greatly appreciated ~

~ Follow for more cat drawings in your dashboard ~

[whumpninja]

Ask Me About…Pirate Whump!

Ahoy, mateys! This ask game be very late because Jack be a chowder-headed landlubber and forgot to post the scurvy thing! But shiver me timbers, we’re hoisting the black flag anyway, by thunder! Yo ho!

Wow, pirate speak is fun. Anyway! I’m not going to do a new ask game this week; instead I’m going to finally get the signups out for the custom ones and start work on those! But if you have any ideas for genres to do, I’m still accepting those for the poll!

And one more thing- every time I post one of these there’s a couple people that ask me questions from it. That’s so sweet and I appreciate it so much, but for these ask games it isn’t necessary! I usually don’t have OCs that match the genre, these are just for the community that might!

Now hoist the Jolly Roger and plunder these questions for yer piratical OCs, me hearties!

Warnings: these are whumpy questions, so they involve whumpy content!

Taglist: @sleepyiswhumping

QUESTIONS FOR A PIRATE WHUMPER

🏴‍☠️- what’s the name of your ship? Do any of your crew have piratical nicknames?

💰- what was your most successful moment of piracy?

🦈- have you ever encountered a shark/whale/sea monster/siren/other unusual ocean creature?

⚓️- do you believe in any pirate/sailor superstitions?

🥥- do you have a pirate stronghold/fortress/secret island/etc. to hide out at when you’re not on the water?

QUESTIONS FOR A PIRATE WHUMPEE

🗺️- where’s the rest of your crew/ship? Is anyone coming to help you?

🐚- what happened the last time you were hurt?

🐬- do you think piracy is a crime? Do you deserve what’s happening to you because of it?

🌊- where are you right now? If you’re on land, do you miss the sea?

🍌- do you have an escape plan? What is it?

QUESTIONS FOR A NON-PIRATE WHUMPER

⚔️- what’s your general opinion of pirates?

⛵️- what was the first pirate ship you ever encountered?

🥭- if you were captured by pirates, what would you do?

☠️- is there one particular pirate/pirate crew that you consider your archenemy?

🐋- have you ever survived a shipwreck or a storm?

QUESTIONS FOR A NON-PIRATE WHUMPEE

🧜‍♀️- how did you get where you are/how were you captured?

🌬️- what is your opinion of pirates? Has it changed?

🏝️- do you know where you are in relation to the rest of the world? Do you think there’s any chance of escape?

🦑- what’s the most frightening thing that’s happened to you so far?

🍍- who are you most afraid of?

[invisiblequeen]

Noe Bodi Gameplay: Day 28, Part 2

Where we last left Felix (@madfeary), he had just touched down in the Realm Of Magic, looking for his favorite teacher.

Who is NOT Simeon Silversweater, the Practical Magic Sage.

But it's "Talk Like A Pirate Day," and Felix loves nothing more than to rile up ol' Silversweaty, so this was a perfect opportunity to hit him with a nice, "AHOY ME MATEY!"

As expected, Simeon was not amused. But that was the point. :)

Then the Great Untamed Sage, Morgyn Ember, came up the stairs

....and Felix didn't bother waiting around for Simeon's lecture before going to them and giving a goofy bow!

And since Morgyn is Morgyn, they gave a goofy bow right back!

I think Morgyn was in an especially choatic mood today. There is no other reason why, when Felix asked for a new spell to learn, Morgyn would gift him "ZIP-ZAP," the spell that jolts electricity through another sim.

But Felix loved it. And promised to master it ASAP.

Meanwhile, Simeon was doing some potion work with--guess who?

HIMBO THUNDER (@occultradio)!

And when coming downstairs, Felix saw a double opportunity: to annoy Simeon and mingle with a cute occult, his favorite pastime.

"Oh I think he likes me."

And Felix even flustered Thunder by complimentaing his "strong arms."

Simeon in his head: little shit

With that mission accomplished, Felix wandered into the kitchen where L.Faba, the Mischief Magic Sage, was making herself some lunch.

If he hadn't been so obsessed with Untamed magic, Felix would have definitely been a star in L. Faba's brand. So she's his second favorite.

Hey, look who else is here? Ronan (@blackfern)! Just experimenting with the cauldron all by himself!

Felix gave him the same "Ahoy Me Matey" greeting as everyone else...

But I guess once they sat down and actually chatted, Felix got irritating and Ronan got irritatED.

It might have had something to do with L. Faba's clear fondness for Felix, when Ronan would want all that fondness for himself (AS A STUDENT! NOT IN THE OTHER WAY!)

Felix could obviously sense the jealousy because he was too peppy getting up from the table. "Ah, well, I must be off now, Ta-Ta!"

Ronan, in his mind: little shit

And the little shit went on home.

The sun hadn't set fully yet, so Felix enjoyed a couple of hours practicing the Zip-Zap spell. First with hands...

Then with his wand, whom he named Gazelle.

And I guess during practice, he accidentally misspoke and learned a whole new spell, Inferniate!

Congratulations!

The last thing he did that day was experiment on his cauldron. Nothing specifically came from that, but it gave his arms a good workout. Not like he needs it ;).

And then the Suave Snob Slipped Into Slumber. Today was a good day.

[previous] - [next]

[quitethepirategal]

tag fix.