#ashi tries to art

[miss-ostrich-art]

I haven't drawn in forever but the "how do you spell chauffeur" sound on tiktok is so APH Romano and APH Germany coded so I couldn't pass it up.

[Tiktok]

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I have this tea cup I made in highschool (it’s really cute and was designed more like those Japanese ones without a handle than it was those fancy English style with even more elements to them) but I never actually asked if the glaze we used was food safe (we all used the same glaze on those cups specifically because the teacher glazed those ones in particular and I don’t remember checking. I glazed and painted every other project but only one of them was something you would use for food and that thing broke a few years ago and was honestly more decorative) and this has haunted me ever since. It’s a super cute cup and I adore it, but I have no idea if I can use it for its intended purpose and while I could buy a lead testing kit I’m not sure how I would check for anything else that might have been in that glaze. I know the color used but not the brand, so that’s not really a help either. The teacher I had left the district after that year because our school district paid art teachers a shit wage and we rotated through them like elementary school kids needing new shoes every year. I’m not entirely sure how I would contact her, but even if I did track her down (something not entirely impossible from what I know about her life outside of teaching us for a year, I would feel slightly weird about it though, even though she was my favorite art teacher) but I highly doubt she would remember something like the glaze she used on one project her students made at a school she taught at for one year. I’m not sure what other testing kits I would need besides lead to confidently say it’s safe enough for my personal use, and it’s annoyed me for several years now.

[jwanniie]

Can u do gp assassin minji x reader where minji was tasked to take down an important person but as she was observing he

Pairings: G!p Assasin Minji x f!reader!

Warnings: dub-con, somno,slight non-con at first, Assasin minji, knife play, degrading, pet names, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), slight breeding at the end, cervix fucking, mention of pregnancy, kinda kidnapping at the end, not proofread, just filthy smut!!

Word count: 1,6k

Jwans note: huh😮‍💨 after a month of not posting, it was difficult to actually start writing and I felt ashy and dry.🫣 but my long ass summer break started, so I will be posting more (yayy), I’m going to a trip with my friends in few days so YIPPEEEEE😍😍I’m so excited (uwu)👁️👅👁️

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Minji was good at her job, or that’s what she could say, extremely good. Don’t you get fooled by the sweet plump lips, gorgeous smile that made everyone forget about their worries or the eyes that stared at you so delicately. To say that at first when you meet her you’d think she’d work on those cat cafes, kindergarten teacher or a major that inquired art would be an understatement.

The plot twist is that the most innocent and dreamy looking people turn into the most twisted and full of secrets individuals. The ones that you’d look at and think ‘no way they would do that?!’. But like the famous George Eliot said “don’t judge a book by its cover.” applied in most situations.

Minji worked as a professional assasin, she took 47 people down without an ounce of effort, the police tried to investigate those cases, but the outcome would always be a hair gripping disappointment. Nonetheless the only hope the police always had was the small ‘Mj’ that was slowly tatted into the victim’s skin with probably a dagger or an extremely sharp blade. They tried to see possible nail scratches, DNA, fingerprints, they even tried to look at the security cameras but there was no sign of anyone entering or leaving, it was like she appeared out of nowhere and disappeared into thin air.

Minji did not like the idea of being under someone's authority or taking orders from anyone. She preferred to work for herself and to be her own boss. However, on occasions, she would consider offers that came with a filthy payment. And that’s what happened with you.

There was this guy who came to Minji and told her he will give her a horrible amount of money if she can take you down. From what she heard from that guy is that you were some really famous and wealthy man’s daughter, and an only child. Your father had a company and by that company he hid his illegal business like money laundering, drug producing, tax evasion and bribery. And to what she also heard is that your dad had stolen money and refuses to give it back to the guy who came to her and that’s why he wanted to get a revenge from your father.

Minji has figured out your schedule with her ways and planned a day when you'll be very busy and tired, so you'll go straight to bed. This will make Minji's job much easier.

Minji wore baggy jeans and a long sleeved black shirt to avoid any suspicion. She let her hair loose to make her features appear more unrecognizable and she had black mask in her black tote bag to wear once she’s in your apartment and in case you’ll wake up.

She tip toed to your apartment building. The building was very minimalistic compared to what she heard who your dad was and how filthy rich you are. She expected a whole apartment building just for you to live in. But it turned out that you lived in an apartment which had families, students and office workers, like any apartment.

She pressed the elevator button and soon she stepped inside. She looked for number ‘12’ and soon she found it. The elevator was pretty fast and it wasn’t long till she was in her desired floor.-Her eyes traveled to all of the doors, in search for the apartment ‘47’. She later stood in front of the door, the lock getting destroyed by her and the door opening. A dark hall getting exposed to her eyes. She timidly and slowly walks in, taking in every little detail.

The hall was soon done and she was met with a closed door by her right, this was where your room could be since all of the other doors of the apartment were open and this was the only door closed.

She quietly opened the door being met with a laying figure, blanket draped over your thighs and lower abdomen while your upper body was exposed to cold air. The moon shining through the window making a dainty and delicate silhouette appear on the wall.

You were in a deep void, so out of this world, too deep in sleep to wake up anytime soon. Your breathing was soft and almost soundless while your chest was inhaling and exhaling slowly.

She was so fascinated by the sight she almost forgot her mission, she felt a rush of blood down her member, her pants feeling way too tight for her liking. She was ripped back to reality when you changed your position, now laying on your back.

She walked closer to your bed, admiring you now from so close. Taking in the little details, she couldn’t adore from far there. She noticed how the cold air made your nipples poke from your silky black night gown. The way the blanket was so down that your thighs were bare till the knees.

Since she already came all the way here, why can’t she have you at least once or maybe twice and then murder you? It would be fast and beside who can stop her, you are asleep and even if you did wake up. Would you fight her back? You can’t. She can just end you with a second. You were basically under her mercy.

She placed her bag on the nightstand before hovering over you. Her legs straddling your thighs. She slid down her slacks before tossing them across the bedroom. You had easy clothing, fast to remove or even rip. She took the hem of the night gown and lifted it till your breasts. She groaned at the sight, you had no panties on, just so easy and beautiful to use. Your perky mounds were soft and so plushy begging to be sucked and worshipped. While the hips to waist ratio was absolutely perfect.

Fuck, she had to kill such a precious and beautiful doll.

Her length was at this point so upwards, the tip angry red while spilling creamy white substance and her balls heavy and almost purple-ish.-Without any prepping or anything she slammed herself in, immediately groaning at the suck of your cunt. Your walls hugging her so tightly, almost too hard to move.

Her both hands went to your breasts, cupping them, while the pad of her thumb started toying with your nipples. Twisting and squeezing the hardened bud.

Your cunt got wetter with every thrust of her hips which made her pace pick up even more, her tip kissing your cervix with every single thrust.

The uncomfortable feeling in your lower region made your eyes flutter open, slightly contemplating is this a dream or the reality. But with every passing second the feeling got even more real and you were getting conscious back again.

When you were fully aware. You were going to let out a bloody scream but before you could even open your mouth, her hand found it way above your mouth. She didn’t stop her hips movements instead, getting even more faster.

Her other hand went to the nightstand, she was rummaging through her back and you were trying to see what she was trying to find. Your curiosity was soon replaced with fear when you saw what she was looking for.

She was looking for one of those kitchen knives in every typical horror movies.-There was soon a sinister evil smile across her face. Her dark eyes looked at your fear full ones.

“I’m not stopping doll, so you better also enjoy this, don’t cause me trouble and if you do..you know your faith.” She said while the tip of the knife was running across your skin. Hard enough to make a small scratch, but not hard enough to let out blood.

Her movements were in halt but soon she started again. She was ramming your insides, you hated to admit that it felt good, way too good.

She was pounding you like there was no tomorrow, well it kinda is true. Her hands let go from your mouth and you wish she didn’t. Now she has to hear the sounds you let for her. Then she thinks you are enjoying this.

With another hit of her tip on your cervix, you let out a loud moan, a pressure on your lower abdomen lingering there.

She chuckled darkly at the sound her tip taking the knife in her grasp.

“Turned out you were enjoying this, huh? Such a pretty little slut!” The sharp blade was running across your inner thighs the fear turning into pleasure. She slightly made the blade sink into your skin, a small bloody cut was now on your inner thighs.

The pain turned you even more on. The pain making your walls clasp around her uncontrollably. Nonetheless she continued her ramming, her tip was completely out before slamming with full force in. The cycle continued.

With the last womb fucking of her cock you reached your climax. Pleasure running through your body while squirming now underneath her.

Your pussy was squeezing her cock after your release and that made her reach her own high, she fucked you faster and with more passion now that she was close.

Without warning her essence painted your walls white, splashing right into your womb. She fucked harder through her high, you were whining and moving under her, the overwhelming feeling of overstimulation hitting you harder than ever. Her cum was now deeper, leaving you with a risk of pregnancy.

“Maybe I should keep you and just tell them I killed you? You would be my personal fuck doll!” She said before wrapping a tape right on top of your mouth, not even waiting to hear your answer.

[megalony]

I Need To Help You

This is a new Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by @heart-35 I hope you like how it turned out.

I would love to do a follow up if anyone is interested/ has any ideas.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @senjoritanana

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: (Y/n) hasn't been feeling well lately, and when she gets worse while Eddie is at work, Chris has to call him to come home and help.

Enjoy.

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A headache began to cloud over behind (Y/n)'s eyes and churn in tandem with the storm raging in her stomach. She felt like she was going to be sick. She felt like her brain was going to shut down and go unconscious at any moment.

Her head tilted down to press into her hands and each shallow breath she took fanned against her palms and blew hot air right back at her. But something about it was calming. It was soothing to feel each breath and try to control the state of frenzy she felt like she was going into.

But with her head bent forward into her hands and her back arched over, (Y/n) could feel herself beginning to slip. Her head was leaning down more and more until her body was on the verge of falling off the armchair.

All she wanted was for the sickness and the unease to go away. She didn't need this right now. She didn't want this now. Not considering the amount of migraines she had been getting lately and the two sickness bugs she had gotten last month, curtesy of Chris who seemed to always pick them up at school.

The doorbell jolted (Y/n) out of her wallowing state and acted as a restart button in her system. Suddenly, after the bell chimed, (Y/n) could hear the tv softly playing the music channel in the background. And she could hear Chris singing in the dining room as he did some arts and crafts. And she could hear the shower vaguely in the background and the Queen anthems blasting from the bathroom where Eddie seemed to be having his own private concert.

Everything came flooding back to her in waves and she allowed herself to slide down off the chair and down onto her knees so she could restart her body.

The doorbell chimed again and she quietly groaned, using the chair as leverage to get herself up and moving towards the hall.

It was too early to be Buck coming round to pick Eddie up for quiz night. It wasn't likely to be Maddie. (Y/n) was sure her sister was on shift today and Chimney would be home with Jee.

She couldn't think who it would be as she shuffled towards the door on unsteady feet.

(Y/n) took a deep breath and tried to hold her chin up and straighten her shoulders as she unlocked the door. Greeting anyone while she was doubled over and looked like she had just woken up from a thousand year nap wasn't going to give the best impression, no matter who was on the other side of the threshold.

"Hello?" Her smile contradicted the confusion and unease in her voice when she looked at the woman on the doorstep.

(Y/n) didn't know her.

The woman had long flowing brown hair and a fringe that was long enough to cover her brows and almost curve right into her eyesight. Her hair settled nicely across her shoulders in long chocolate waves like a river and her eyes matched the colour of her hair. But there was something almost scrutinising behind her eyes that set (Y/n) on edge.

And she wasn't too sure about the woman's smile either. It was a tight smile, as if smiling any wider or relaxing any further would cause her to fragment into pieces.

She had one hand around her bag on her shoulder and her other hand was nervously rubbing across her hip like she had too much energy and didn't know what to do with herself.

"Can I help you?" (Y/n) did her best to smile again and she tried not to let all of her weight lean on the door in case her knees buckled beneath her.

She leant her cheek against the door and clung to the handle while her weight shifted from her heels to her toes.

"Oh, I… I was looking for Eddie? Eddie Diaz?" The woman took a daring peek behind (Y/n) to try and see into the apartment. To try and catch any glimpse of Eddie and assure herself that she had come to the right house and found the right person.

And (Y/n) could understand that. She could understand how much courage and nerves it took to go to a strange place and wonder if she had the right address and wonder if she would be welcomed or shunned. But as nervous as the woman looked, she also seemed determined and maybe not like she was in a rush, but like she was impatient for something.

"He's just in the shower, he'll be out soon." (Y/n) took a deep breath and rolled her lips together before she tried to form a bit of courage and make sure she didn't sound too rude. "Um, who should I say is here?"

She snook a glance over her shoulder, but she could still faintly hear the rock music blasting all the way from the bathroom at the back of the house. If the music was still playing, Eddie wasn't out yet. (Y/n) didn't feel okay with welcoming a total stranger to wait in their home. She didn't know this woman and until Eddie came out and helped this situation, (Y/n) didn't want to let her inside.

"I'm Shannon. Who are you?" Her smile started to dampen around the corners, giving away her thinning patience.

Something sharp clawed at (Y/n)'s chest and made her stomach squeeze uncomfortably when realisation set in.

This was Eddie's ex-wife. This was Chris's mum. This was the person Eddie hadn't seen in four years, even when he got divorced, he never saw Shannon face to face. All of that had been done through the divorce lawyers, without fuss, without contempt.

(Y/n) never thought she would get to meet Shannon, and a big part of her wasn't sure she was too happy to meet her either. This was the woman who had so easily walked out on both boys. She left Eddie and walked away from Chris without looking back. And (Y/n) was an understanding person. She could sympathise and agree and understand a lot of different perspectives.

She could understand that Shannon needed a break. She needed to be with her family, she was at her breaking point. All of that was understandable, but walking away and never looking back was unfathomable. How she could leave without saying goodbye. How she could go every Christmas and birthday and not send a card. How she could so easily turn a blind eye and not have the decency to call and ask how Chris was. That was something (Y/n) couldn't come to grips with.

She had come to think of Chris as her own son and even the notion of going one day without knowing how he was made (Y/n) feel paranoid and sick to her stomach.

Shannon left four years ago and she didn't look back. She cut all the ties and connections she had with them and left Eddie to explain and pick up the pieces and try to tell Chris that it was nothing Chris had done that made his mother leave.

"I'm Eddie's wife."

(Y/n) rolled her lips together into a thin smile that showed unease and discontent and a small bottled up token of rage that she couldn't unleash.

She found herself standing up straighter and moving onto the doorstep so she could pull the door until it was open only by a partial gap. She didn't want Chris to hear and find out who was at the door. Not when (Y/n) had no idea why Shannon was even here.

How would Chris take this if he found his mother on the doorstep? He would think this was a sign that she was coming back to him. And if she left again, (Y/n) and Eddie would have to deal with the aftermath. They couldn't let him get hurt a second time. They couldn't take that risk.

She could see the anger that swirled in Shannon's eyes and the resentment that was plastered across her face when her upper lip curled and she was at the point of baring her teeth.

"He- he's married?" She huffed and moved both hands to her hips, leaning back at an angle as if she had been shoved off balance. "Typical." Shannon let out a small, cynical laugh and moved her hand to run her thumb across her lips. Her head tilted to the side like she was looking to God or to somewhere unknown for a source of strength and a group of answers she needed.

"I'm sorry? You're divorced, did you think he wouldn't get into another relationship?"

They had divorced, they were legally cut from one another, no more ties connecting them to reopen the wounds that had taken years to heal. Did Shannon believe Eddie would never get into another serious relationship with someone else? Did she think he was wrong for finding love again and marrying (Y/n)?

It wasn't as if he had left Shannon a few months ago and had quickly moved onto (Y/n). It had been four years since they split up, not four months.

"I didn't think he'd get married again, considering he only married me because I got pregnant. Is that what happened with you?"

"No, it wasn't. I guess I didn't need a child for him to commit to a relationship with me. Now what do you want?"

Her headache was coming back. She felt like she was going to be sick. She wasn't standing here getting insulted on her own doorstep. If Shannon was here to pick a fight, she had made a wasted trip because (Y/n) wouldn't indulge and she was sure Eddie didn't want to fight with her either.

Before Shannon could come up with an answer, they both heard a faint, low voice coming from the hallway.

"Mi amor, who was at the door?"

(Y/n) was surprised Eddie had heard the doorbell considering the volume he'd been playing his music at. But then again, there was a door chime plugged in the hallway and one in the back hall near the bedrooms so they could hear any calls during the night and around the house.

She leaned back into the door and pushed it open, glancing over her shoulder towards her husband.

There he was, just walking out of the living room. Eddie had one hand rummaging through his curls that were sodden and glued to his forehead in such a messy way that it made (Y/n)'s heart skip. He was barefoot, padding around with just a pair of sweatpants on that were hung very low on his hips, showing off the top dip of his hipbone. And it made (Y/n) wonder whether he was wearing boxers or not.

"It's for you," Their eyes locked while (Y/n)'s quiet voice gave away how nervous she felt.

Her voice set Eddie on edge as his hand dropped from his hair and he picked up the pace to reach the front door.

One hand found (Y/n)'s hip and the other held the door which he curved his head around to see who was outside. It couldn't have been Buck or else (Y/n) would have already invited him in and Chris would have been all over him by now.

The way Eddie's nose crinkled and his lips parted like they were melting made (Y/n) shiver. It was as if he was made of wax and his composure was starting to melt away. She could feel his hand tightening around her hip while his other hand clenched around the door that was giving him splinters from how deeply his nails were puncturing into it.

"What the Hell are you doing here?"

Shannon scoffed. Clearly, that wasn't the welcome she was looking for, although (Y/n) wasn't sure what she had expected after ghosting them for years and then suddenly appearing out of the blue without so much as a warning.

(Y/n) could feel Eddie's chest tensing behind her and the way his shoulders rose like he was growing and re-shaping right there behind her. His hand stayed on her hip and his thumb brushed up and down her skin while he leaned against the door, waiting for an answer from his ex-wife.

"I came to see you… I wanted to talk." Her eyes kept dithering across to (Y/n) as if she was some stranger listening in on their conversation.

The look she gave (Y/n) made Eddie's jaw clench and he didn't move from his spot leaning against the door. Not allowing (Y/n) to disappear back inside and hide away. She was his wife, she lived here. She had a smuch right to be a part of this conversation as the rest of them.

"It's a bit late for that." His eyes glanced down at his wrist as if there was an invisible watch strapped to his wrist telling him exactly how long Shannon had disappeared for.

He used to keep track of the time. He used to count the days which turned into weeks and then he'd notice each month that slipped past while he was left on his own to care for their son. But when (Y/n) walked into his life, that clock stopped working and it stopped mattering to Eddie. Suddenly he didn't care how long Shannon had been gone for, because he didn't want her to come back any more. He stopped begging for her to come home and started wishing she would never return.

He had Chris, he had (Y/n) and they both took care of Chris and loved him to the end of the Earth. This little family right here was all that they needed.

"Eddie please, we need to talk. Alone."

Her eyes made another burning wave towards (Y/n) and it was as if Shannon had hit her. The look sent another wave of dizziness through (Y/n) and she found herself leaning back into Eddie, trying to soak up some of his strength and energy.

She knew Eddie could feel her resolve fading away, but when (Y/n) tried to turn and excuse herself from the conversation, Eddie had other ideas. His hand left her hip so his arm could bind around her waist instead and he pinned her protectively into his chest.

"Whatever you wanna say, you can say to both of us." He tilted his head down so his lips could smother the back of (Y/n)'s head which started to turn warm and fuzzy beneath his touch.

Eddie didn't want (Y/n) to feel like she had to go inside. She was his wife, she was part of this and Eddie wasn't going to reitterate everything back to her. He wasn't going to let Shannon make (Y/n) feel out of place in her own home.

"Mum! I need help, it's broken again!"

Chris's soft voice travelled through the hall and distantly reached the three of them out on the doorstep.

His words made panic pool in (Y/n)'s stomach, caused Eddie to tense and brought out a dangerous look across Shannon's face. It was as if all the anger was physically bubbling up inside of her and her skin started to turn a dark shade of rouge while her hands balled up into fists at her sides.

She wasn't stupid. She knew Chris didn't know she was here on the doorstep and if he did, that wouldn't be the first thing he called out to her. He was asking for (Y/n). He was calling (Y/n) his mum. It was as if reality came crashing down onto Shannon and showed her just how much time had passed since she last saw her son. Time was telling her that there was always a deadline and she had far missed her deadline by a few years.

(Y/n) had stepped into the role Shannon had left behind. She had become Chris's mother and he was thrilled to have her in his life.

When Shannon leaned forward, Eddie twisted to the left. He turned (Y/n) in his arm and nudged the door open so she could head back inside and go see Chris before he came out here and realised who was on the doorstep. They didn't need Chris to witness this or know that Shannon was here; Eddie wasn't having this bombard him today, out of the blue.

She quickly slipped back inside, feeling Eddie's hand linger on her waist and his lips against the top of her head before they parted and he pulled the door closed behind him. Effectively cutting Shannon off from his family who he wanted to protect at all costs.

"No. No! Eddie I am his mother-"

"What kind of mother disappears for four years at a time Shannon? Just go-"

"She's not his mother. I had to leave, you know I did but I thought of him every single day."

The tears in her eyes almost made Eddie feel bad. Almost. But he couldn't fall back into the argument again. It was the same every time. It ended with Eddie having to argue his own wrong-doings and justify himself. When Eddie went in the army, he always came back. He had a set date for coming back, he never left with the intention of walking away and leaving his family behind. That was the difference between them.

Eddie went away with a day set to come home. Shannon walked out without the intention of returning. And Eddie always kept in contact. He was thousands of miles away in a war-torn zone and he tried. He tried to video-call and message and ring and send letters every day. Shannon didn't send so much as a text.

"And while you were thinking of him, (Y/n) was taking care of him. She took him to school, she sat with him when he had nightmares, she patched him up when he fell and she's adopted him. If Chris wants to call her his mum, I sure as Hell won't stop him."

(Y/n) rolled her lips together and tilted her head down when she heard the front door slam.

A nagging thought in the back of her mind wished she could have focused her hearing and made out the small, one-minute argument happening outside before Eddie came back in. But she pushed the thought aside and tried to concentrate on holding the two wooden pieces together.

Chris had a new craft project, making a figure from a movie out of wooden sticks and cuttings. It was going well, but the glue took a while to cement and the pieces kept falling apart every now and then.

Her arms dug uncomfortably into the back of the dining chair next to the one Chris was sat in. She had her lower back arched out to see if it would relieve the tension in her spine and make her feel any better. But with her head hung forward, she just wanted to slip down to the floor and go to sleep.

"Here you go baby." Her voice wobbled as she handed the newly glued pieces over to Chris.

She barely managed to kiss the top of his head before she made a beeline for the kitchen. Straightening up made her lower back twinge and made her stomach feel like it was stretching too far so she settled for walking doubled over with her arms around her waist.

Her arms stretched out and her trembling fingers curled around the rim of the sink just in time to throw up.

Her chest slammed into the counter edge and sent shockwaves through her while her stomach twisted and burned and her knees pressed uncomfortably into the kitchen cupboard. Everything started to shake and a hot flush crept across her skin as she threw up her lunch.

Sparks fluttered beneath her skin when she felt a pair of hands glide around her waist and a bare chest mould over her back. She could feel Eddie's wet lips pressing softly against the base of her neck and towards her shoulder while his thumbs stroked across her waist softly.

"Is this nerves, mi amor, or are you getting sick again?" The concern was dripping from Eddie's quiet, gravelly voice and it made (Y/n)'s stomach jump again, but in a different way this time. If she didn't feel so sluggish and sick she would have swooned at the tone of his voice.

Her heart almost gave out and her vision sparkled with white dots when Eddie pressed himself against her so he could reach his left hand around her front. He kept hold of her hip while his left hand pressed against her temple, feeling how hot and flushed her skin was.

"Sick," She murmured quietly, pulling back from the sink when she knew for sure that she wasn't going to throw up anything else.

She hated being sick. She hated feeling this down and low and the way her stomach would twist and cramp and how her spine felt like there was a brick resting heavy against each column. This would be the third time (Y/n) had gotten a sickness bug in less than three months and she felt worse this time.

Why couldn't she catch a break?

"Then we need to get you laid down. Me and Chris will look after you."

She barely had time to turn around in his embrace before his hands were on the back of her thighs and he was lifting her up. Her legs settled around his torso and her head fell against his shoulder, humming against his neck while he carried her out of the kitchen.

***

Tears traced down the bridge of (Y/n)'s nose and trickled across her lips that were meshed tightly together to stop herself from screaming.

Her arms bound tighter around her waist until she was almost sure that her circulation was being cut off to her torso. And when she brought her knees up to press against her arms, her eyes closed and her forehead pressed down against the top of her knees.

She didn't feel well.

No, she was in agony. What was she supposed to do? She was home alone with Chris and it was almost nine o'clock at night. Eddie was out on a double shift that started at lunch time and wouldn't finish until eight o'clock in the morning. (Y/n) couldn't wait that long. She couldn't go another eleven hours in crippling agony like this, but she didn't know what other options she had.

Could she call Maddie? Was her big sister at work, surely she wouldn't be, Maddie didn't often do night shifts. She couldn't call herself an ambulance and risk frightening Chris and dragging him along to the hospital with her. She couldn't drive herself anywhere in this state.

Maybe she would have to call Eddie and see if he could come home. But did she want to risk getting him into trouble and worrying her husband when she didn't know what was wrong?

Yesterday after Shannon left, (Y/n) chalked this down to a sickness bug. Last night when it felt worse, she thought maybe it was her period. That would explain the stomach cramps and the back ache, but every time she went to the bathroom she was shocked to see it wasn't her period.

When another pain tore through her stomach, (Y/n) wasn't sure whether she was going to pass out or be sick.

A choked moan spluttered past her lips and into her knees as she began to rock herself back and forth on the bed.

All afternoon since picking Chris up from school- something she had barely managed without collapsing on the way home- (Y/n) had been sluggish and had to hide her pain from him so she didn't worry her boy. They had spent most of the afternoon watching movies in the lounge until (Y/n) retreated to bed and Chris went to his room to play video games with his friends online.

This was the easiest option for them both. This way Chris could play and entertain himself and wouldn't have to see (Y/n) in pain and she wouldn't have to keep feigning a brave face and pretending she was okay when she wasn't.

Spots danced in front of her eyes when she lifted her head from her knees and allowed a small sob to escape her lips.

Her arms loosened from her legs which dropped down to the bed and she shuffled across until she flopped down onto unsteady feet. Why didn't she feel like this last night when Eddie was home? Why did the pain have to get worse after he left for his shift? He asked her if she would be okay and she stupidly told him yes, not wanting to be a pain.

Now she wished she'd asked him to stay home with her because if he was here, he would know what to do. Eddie would know how to make this better and what to say and how to take the pain away.

She wobbled out of the bedroom, walking with her body hunkered over until her chest was almost meshed into the top of her thighs. And her arms stretched out in front of her as she hurried to the bathroom.

Once the door was safely closed and bolted shut behind her, (Y/n) allowed herself to drop down to her knees on the damp bathmat. Her face smothered against her bare knees again and her arms pinned to her stomach as she knelt like she was praying and in a way, she was. She was praying for the pain to stop or for Eddie to magically know what was going on and come home to help her.

Tears soaked into her knees as muffled cries vibrated against her legs and her body started to rock back and forth to try and calm herself down. It wasn't working.

She could feel the tears getting worse as spasms rolled through her body and she shuddered against the floor.

Straightening up didn't feel like the right move, but (Y/n) knew she had to try and move around and do something to help herself. Somehow. Her hands clung to the edge of the bath that she used as leverage to sit up again while shivers coursed down her spine and she trembled back and forth like she was sitting in the Arctic.

She moved round to use the sink instead to get herself stood up, but she couldn't do it. Her knees started to buckle and her arms flopped against the sink as she crumpled over like a scrunched up piece of paper. Her knees bashed into the base of the sink and her elbow clocked the black and white speckled pot that held all the toothbrushes on the edge of the sink.

(Y/n) barely heard the sound of the pot falling into the sink basin or the way it broke apart on impact and split into fragments. All she could hear was a horrid ringing in her ears which her cries couldn't break through.

A frown appeared on Chris's face and he tilted his head to one side, looking around the hallway.

He was aiming for his parent's bedroom but he paused mid-walk and looked to the left towards the bathroom.

What had his mum broken in there? Why could he hear her crying?

Unease flooded his chest along with a dreaded slither of panic that grew and grew with each passing second when he heard more cries coming from the bathroom. He knew (Y/n) hadn't been feeling well lately and it was clear she hadn't been well when she took herself to bed two hours ago. They would usually stay up and watch a film together in the evening before bed.

Not that it had been too unsettling for Chris, he had been allowed to play his video game with his friends online and chat to them even though it was after tea time. He was happy enough to play his game, but he knew it was bed time now. He knew it was time to turn off the electronics and get ready for bed.

And he never went to bed without saying goodnight to his mum and dad.

"Mum?" Caution flooded Chris's voice and he tenderly knocked on the bathroom door, shifting his gaze down to his bare feet while he waited for a response.

His body jumped back and he gasped when he heard a loud bang. It sounded like (Y/n) had fallen ir in the very least, knocked something over.

His hand curled around the door handle but he whimpered when he jiggled the handle and realised it was locked. What was he supposed to do? Was his mum okay? Did he continue banging on the door and hope she would open it soon? Did he try and get some help? Did he go back to his room and wait, just in case (Y/n) was alright and just throwing up or being a bit clumsy? He had no idea what kind of situation this was, whether it was one that called for alarm or one that could be easily rectified.

"Mum? Mum!" His voice turned to loud whines and he continued to hit the door when he could still hear (Y/n) crying.

"C-call your dad."

That was the sign Chris had been waiting for. That was the signal that this was a bad situation. If (Y/n) wanted to call Eddie while he was at work, that told him that this was an emergency and something bad was happening.

Chris patted his hand against the wall as he hurried back to his room, stimming along the way with his head nodding back and forth and his fingers clenching and curling.

What if his dad didn't answer? Who was he supposed to call if he couldn't get hold of Eddie? Who was the next in line for this kind of situation?

He flopped down on his bed, tapping his toes against the floor as his body swayed back and forth and he pressed his phone to his ear. While his free hand scrunched up in the cover to steady himself and give him something to focus on. Each dial the phone made caused Chris to rut his jaw from side to side and make little clicking noises. He needed help. He needed Eddie to answer the phone. He had to be told what he was meant to do.

"Hey buddy, you okay?" Confusion was woven through Eddie's words as he tried to prevent a yawn from escaping his lips.

He slouched back in his chair and propped his feet up on the chair next to him so he was reclined with one elbow leant against the table. It had been a while since Eddie did a night shift and he was already tired when the night hadn't truly begun yet. He hoped to God this wouldn't be another full moon night where they had call after call and dealings with strange cases. He couldn't be doing with that tonight.

And he wasn't sure why Chris was ringing him either. Sometimes (Y/n) would call when he was on a night shift so Chris could say goodnight before he went to bed. But they hadn't done that in a while. Eddie knew it was around Chris's bedtime, but he'd never had Chris call him while he was on shift before, it was always (Y/n).

"Dad!"

"Chris what's wrong?" He dropped his legs from the chair and sat up straight as goosebumps covered his flesh and the hairs on the back of his neck started to stick up on end.

"Mum's crying… she- she won't let me in. Dad do something!"

The panic was evident in his son's voice and Eddie knew if Chris was sitting in front of him right now, he would be stimming away. He sounded like he was about to cry and that made Eddie's heart go ten to the dozen in his chest.

Where was (Y/n)? Why was she crying, was she being sick again? Had she gotten worse since Eddie left her at lunch?

"Where is she? What's going on?"

"Bathroom, door's locked. I think mum's hurt…" Chris dared to venture out into the hallway again and tapped his hand on the bathroom door. He was close enough now that Eddie could hear the clattering about coming from the bathroom and the quiet cries that crackled through the phone.

"Fuck! Fuck I'm coming home now okay? Go back to your room buddy and wait for me and uncle Buck to get there. Don't go near the bathroom, just leave your mum in there. It's okay, I'm coming."

Oh God, what was happening back at home? Why did he come on shift today? Why didn't he go with his gut and stay home to look after her? Why did this have to happen when he wasn't home?

What was he going to go home to?

***

"Eddie, what do you need?"

"Do you want the gurney or just a medic bag, or we can-"

Eddie held his hands out in front of him and shook his head that was already on overload without all their voices bombarding him at once. He could feel his weight swaying back and forth from his toes to his heels as he tried to find his sense of balance and prevent himself from collapsing. That was the last thing he needed right now.

The cold night air whipped against his skin and had him shivering since he had forgone his jacket back at the station in his hurry to get the team to help him. But the brisk temperature helped to liven him up and keep him alert; that was what he wanted right now.

"Bring the kit but don't- I need to find out what's happening first. I need to see (Y/n) first. Buck I need you to sit with Chris."

It was a silent agreement that Eddie was taking the lead on this one. This was his family, his case and his surroundings, they would follow his directions here. Bobby had already contacted dispatch to alert them that they had a personal call they needed to be on just in case they tried to redirect them anytime soon.

Hen and Chimney placed a medic bag on the gurney and wheeled it after the team.

Eddie led the way, using the spare key to let himself in since his keys and wallet were back in his locker at the station. He stormed into the hallway with Buck hot on his heels and Bobby behind them. He didn't want any of them coming too close and seeing (Y/n) until he knew what was going on and what kind of medical emergency (Y/n) was having.

The last thing she would want or need was the team gawping at her and trying to bustle in. Eddie had to see her first.

His boots thudded against the floor and echoed off the walls and when they got into the corridor, he pointed towards Chris's room. When Buck bypassed him and headed inside, Eddie peered his head around the door so Chris would know he was home and trying to get a handle on the situation.

With Chris now comforted and safe, Eddie turned his attention to the bathroom. The bedroom door was wide open and empty so he knew (Y/n) hadn't come out of the bathroom in the time it took the team to get down here.

"Baby? Baby it's me." He tried the handle but it was still locked, he couldn't expect anything else. If he himself was ill or in a state he wouldn't want Chris walking in and seeing him like that.

He waited. His forehead was almost touching the door and his hand stayed fisted around the handle but he could feel the panic growing when he didn't get a response and the door didn't open. He was here. He was home. (Y/n) needed to let him in so he could see what was going on and try to help her. He could feel the eyes of the team watching him as the three of them stood with the gurney at the end of the hall.

They wouldn't come any closer until Eddie gave them the signal and told them what he needed.

"(Y/n) open the door." He rapped his knuckles on the door, trying not to punch an indent into the wood, but he couldn't quite restrain himself. She had to let him in.

"I… I…"

"What? Baby, open the door please. I need to help you." Eddie's free hand dug into the doorframe while he rested his arm against the door and pressed his temple against his arm.

He could of cried when something along the lines of 'I can't' whimpered past (Y/n)'s lips. Either she was somehow incapacitated and couldn't get to the door or she didn't feel able to open it. Either way, this wouldn't do. Eddie was going to have to break it if she couldn't get it open and let him in.

"Then stay back because I'm gonna break it."

With his hands braced on either side of the door, Eddie took a step back and leaned his weight backwards. He balanced on his left foot and rammed the heel of his boot into the door beneath the handle, swiftly breaking the bolt that kept it locked.

The door swung open so far it collided with the wall and almost rebounded back into Eddie.

He didn't know where to look.

The sink was littered with broken glass. Bottles and creams had been knocked from the stacker by the bath and had scattered across the floor and fallen in the empty bathtub. At least four different towels were laid around the floor in various ways. Some wet, some dry and scrunched up, and some were lathered in blood.

But when his eyes locked on his wife, curled up in the corner of the room beneath the window, Eddie's heart faltered in rhythm and his lungs squeezed and made him choke on his breath.

"E-Eddie…"

"Oh God."

He broke out of his frozen state, kicking the towels out of the way until he could crash down on his knees in front of (Y/n). And again, he wasn't sure where he was meant to look.

Did he concentrate on her eyes that were blown wide and barely able to focus on him? Did he look at her chest that was rising and falling so light and quickly that she didn't seem to be breathing at all? His he focus on the way she was slumped back against the wall with her knees half propped up?

Or did he look at her hands that were trembling, holding a baby between her thighs?

(Y/n) could barely get any energy into her arms that felt so weak she couldn't even register if her muscles were moving and flexing or not. Her hands and arms began to jutter up and down as she held the baby out towards Eddie with tears tracing down her cheeks.

She was relieved when Eddie reached out and took the baby from her. She couldn't hold them any longer, she could barely keep her eyes open.

All of her energy had been directed into pushing when she realised- far too late- what was happening to her.

She'd had a baby.

She and Eddie had a baby.

(Y/n) didn't know she had been pregnant. Let alone that she had been somewhere around eight months pregnant, judging by looking at her baby.

Her feet skidded against the floor and her legs finally dropped down, soothed by the cold tiled floor that felt lovely against her skin that was burning up. She let her head loll to the left and her eyes tried to keep watch over Eddie. She had always envisioned him with a baby. Wondered what he looked like when he had held Chris for the first time. Wondered how small a baby would look in Eddie's strong arms.

(Y/n) wondered what it would be like for them to start a family, but she didn't think it would start like this. She imagined coming up with all sorts of ways to tell Eddie when she became pregnant. She thought about telling him and seeing her body change and grow and feeling the baby move and going to appointments.

They'd had none of that.

All the little signs over the last few months, (Y/n) had misread them all. The constant sickness bugs she had been getting lately might not have been bugs at all. The back ache was clearly from carrying a baby around with her. Whatever odd, spotting periods she thought she had been having clearly weren't periods either. The little changes she noticed in her moods and appetite and how she was feeling, there had been a reason for it all. And that reason was laid out in Eddie's arms.

"Hen! Get in here I need help!" Eddie glanced over his shoulder before he looked at (Y/n), and then down to the bundle in his arms.

He glided his knuckles across the newborn's chest and then pressed a finger against their lips to check that the airways were clear.

He almost jumped when he felt a small movement and a subtle, croaky breath finally passed the newborn's lips. How had he missed this? How had he not realised something like this was happening? How had he left (Y/n) today and not been here when she went through this trauma alone?

"Oh- oh!" Hen looked something between delighted and horrified when she crouched down beside Eddie and took in the scene in front of her.

She rummaged around in her medic bag until she found two clamps and carefully leaned over Eddie to clamp the cord. Once it was cut, she tried to smile at (Y/n) before moving to check the placenta was in tact.

"Switch." Eddie mumbled quietly, offering out his daughter for Hen to take instead so he could assess his wife.

His arms felt oddly empty when he passed her over to Hen who immediately started checking her vitals and listening to her breathing. There were hundreds of complications that could happen or go wrong with the baby since (Y/n) had clearly had no antinatal care. Hundreds of things could happen to (Y/n) now that she'd gone through this.

Static buzzed in (Y/n)'s ears and she jumped when Eddie was suddenly leaning over her.

One hand curled around her arm and the other cupped her neck while his chest was so close that she could feel each breath he took as he hovered over her. He pressed his fingers to her pulse and counted the beats while his thumb traced her jawline.

"Talk to me, mi amor. How do you feel?" Eddie could guess a million ways (Y/n) would be feeling right now, but he needed to know if she was in pain. He had to know if she was having cramps or stabbing pains or chest pains or difficulty breathing in case there was something he had to worry about.

"Sick…" (Y/n) dropped her head down before Eddie firmly held her chin and leaned her head back again. She let her head turn in Hen's direction and tried to look down at her baby.

She had been so shocked and frightened that she didn't take much time to assess her baby. All (Y/n) could do was hold this new, terrifying life and wait for Eddie to come in and help.

"Is s-she okay?"

"Heartbeat and breathing are good, she's reacting well… you didn't know, at all? You didn't even suspect you might be a few months pregnant?"

(Y/n) hummed and shook her head. If she thought she was she would have gone to the doctor and shared her thoughts with Eddie. They wanted a baby, but not quite in this manner. A little forewarning first would have been good.

"I'd say she's about eight months, but the doctors will check you both over." Hen placed a gentle hand on (Y/n)'s knee before she turned around. "Chim, bring in that gurney, we need to go."

Eddie took the stethoscope from Hen and listened to (Y/n)'s heart before he carefully eased her forward. He let her lean on his left arm and took the time to kiss the side of her temple while he leaned over her and pressed the scope to her back so he could check her breathing.

He switched the stethoscope for a blood pressure cuff and slid it up (Y/n)'s arm. A frown pulled at his lips and he growled when he saw how low the numbers were going.

"BP is crashing. Jesus Christ, mi amor. What am I gonna do with you, hm?"

He managed a soft smile when (Y/n) tilted her head forward onto his shoulder and reached her hands out to curl around his arm. She mumbled something into his skin but he couldn't make out what she said.

He took a look between her legs, scrunching his nose at the blood caked across her thighs which had formed a small puddle beneath her. It looked to have stopped, but Eddie wanted to make sure she didn't haemorrhage again. He found some clotting medication in the medic bag and eased (Y/n) against his chest since she clearly wanted and needed some comfort right now.

She didn't grumble or even wince when he lifted her shirt and injected the medication into her stomach. That told Eddie that she was clearly going into a state of shock or about to pass out because she wasn't good with needles.

"Oh my God, what happened?"

Chimney and Bobby wriggled their way into the bathroom which was now full to the brim and felt like they were all sardines squashed in a tin.

"A surprise baby happened, let's get them in the ambulance." Hen backed up near the door with the baby so it would be easier for them to get (Y/n) on the gurney. They had to go now and get (Y/n) admitted and sorted out, she had been in enough pain and trauma for one night.

"I'm s-sorry-"

"No, I don't wanna hear that." Eddie's voice was sharp and firm while he busied himself looping (Y/n)'s arms around the back of his neck. "Let's get you both down to the hospital and sorted out. Then we can talk about you deciding to surprise me with a daughter, hm?"

He curved one arm around (Y/n)'s waist and slipped the other beneath her thighs. He felt Chimney hover beside him in case he needed help but Eddie easily laid (Y/n) down on the gurney. It took him a few moments to unlock (Y/n)'s arms from his neck and he tilted her head back so he could press a sweet kiss to her lips before he jogged out of the room. He needed to check on Chris.

"Chris-"

"Is mum okay?"

The nine year old shot off the bed where he had been sitting with Buck's arm around him, reassuring him everything was going to be fine. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and looked up at him with such a pleading look in his eyes that made Eddie feel like crying.

He held Chris's arms soothingly and crouched down to be level with him, trying to smile so he knew everything was alright.

"Buddy, I gotta take mum to the hospital, but she's okay. She's gonna be just fine… she's had a baby." His eyes couldn't help but flicker over to Buck who's brows furrowed and his lips parted in confusion.

Since when had (Y/n) been pregnant? Eddie never mentioned anything and this was something that surely would have come up in conversation. And by the look on his face and the tension in the air, Buck couldn't imagine this being a premature birth. The team would have ran off to the ambulance if they had a preemie baby to take to the hospital.

"A baby? Now? But, but you didn't say mum was having a baby-"

"I know, I know… buddy I promise once mum's safe at the hospital I'll explain and you can see her and your new sister. And then you can help me get everything ready to bring them home, okay?"

When Chris nodded, Eddie reeled him in for a tight embrace. He couldn't explain now, he didn't have the time, let alone the words.

Chris wasn't stupid, he knew it wasn't normal to have a baby out of the blue like this. He knew his mum didn't look pregnant and if she and Eddie hadn't mentioned it before now then it was clear they didn't know.

They had nothing here for a baby. No clothes, no nappies or a carrier, no crib, no bottles or food or anything that they would need. The spare room was technically a study which would have to be sorted out quickly now that a baby was already here.

He placed a sloppy kiss to the side of Chris's head before he looked over at Buck.

"Can you watch him?" The silence behind his words was clear. He didn't want to have to take Chris to the hospital and have him watch all this mess.

He didn't want Chris to see (Y/n) in this state or watch them admit her. Everything was going to be hectic. Eddie would have to keep an eye on (Y/n) and help get her onto a ward because he knew she hated hospitals and she was almost passing out. He had to make sure she was okay. And he also wanted to keep track of his new baby girl and make sure she was okay and being looked after. That was no place for Chris to be, especially not this late at night.

Buck nodded and gave Chris's shoulders a squeeze before he exited the room and headed over to Bobby.

"Cap, if uh, if Eddie goes in the ambulance with (Y/n), am I good to take Chris back to the station with me? I mean, my shift finishes in an hour and going to the hospital might not be a good idea."

"Course you can, go get him in the truck."

Eddie watched Buck carry Chris towards the front door, he would take him to the station so Buck could get changed and get his keys. Then he would come back here and stay the night here with Chris. It would be easier for Chris to be in his own bed and be somewhere comfortable, and Buck had a set of keys anyway. He knew he was welcome to stay and watch Chris here.

Once they were out the door, Eddie turned to the gurney that was in the hall and let (Y/n) deadlock her hands around his wrist. She pulled his arm close and kissed his wrist while she rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

(Y/n)'s eyes danced down the hall where Hen was walking with their newborn in her arms, ready to get in the ambulance. And when she looked back up at Eddie, she found his lips smothering her temple.

"We've got a baby."

She could feel his lips curving into a grin against her skin and she could feel the love radiating off of him, despite the adrenaline and panic he was also feeling. Because one thought was overriding everything else going through his mind.

He now had a little girl.

[13thdoodle]

[ EctoberHaunt 2024 Banner ]

Hi hiii~ I get to draw the banner again for @ectoberhaunt this year~ It was a lot of fun :DD

I wasn't sure how to incorporate the gold and silver at first but I think it turn out pretty good

Also thank you to Enn for helping me with the flats I would've pewished ksjadnaksj Sketches and some ramblings under cut

Here's the initial sketch for the banner. I tried my best to keep it close to the sketch or at least have the same energy (hopefully qwq)

As you can see, I drew Sam and Tucker riding a scooter bike originally. But the banner, I try to get as close to canon design as possible. I could not for the live of me remember what episode has the scooter bike. And.. turns out I might've just misremembered the scooter as a motor bike? so I just draw the scooter lol

(This is from the Killer Garage Sale episode btw. I couldn't find the scooter's pict on the wiki so I gotta screenshot it from the episode)

Also speaking of couldn't find reference pictures in the fandom wiki,

I couldn't find pictures of the college trio full body screenshots there. Only the Vlad leaning into the portal while Maddie and Jack looked away. Very useful references, yes.

I used to think that Jack was the worst one here about lab safety (considering he was the main reason the portal exploded on Vlad's face), but Maddie is no better after watching the episode again. Girlie wear big round earrings and leg warmers in the lab. Pretty sure that's... not very safety. Vlad is not better since he does lean very close into the radiation portal so... lol

Anyway, I tried to incorporate their dynamics in the banner. Jack the very excited one and leading the ghost hunt, Maddie following along with more ghost gears, and Vlad... well, I was thinking Vlad could be the 'rational' of the trio and like brings stuffs the other two wouldn't have thought to bring out of excitement (i.e. flashlights in case they need to go through pitch black tunnel so they don't fall off etc etc)

But... you know, that's giving Vlad too many points than he deserves lol. So, I draw Vlad still bringing the bag of extra stuffs, but it's not fully closed so some stuffs fell off on their trails. They all should share braincells and Vlad does not get a turn lol

Also changed Maddie's clothes and give her the teal suit to match Jack and also looks better when she's running

There's not much I can say about the main trio process? I mostly just want Sam to be the one driving the scooter while Tucker handles the navigations or sth. They get to ride scooters to catch up with Danny~

Danny and Tucker's colors a bit ashy bc I color picked them from low res screenshots askjdnaksj I fixed em on the final tho so yea

O yeah, I don't know if it's visible on the final art, but I initially try to give the kids warm shadings and cold lighting (Silver), and the college trio cold shadows and warm lighting (Gold) to fit the themes.

Also the light source.. sorta? The adults has the light source from behind them bc they are in past/past the age in the drawings? And the kids has their light source from in front of them, going into the future and the many things ahead of them kajsdnaksd

[sundew199]

Times Two

a/n: good lord this is long and filthy. If you prefer to read it on AO3, it'll be linked. I've also never written a threesome before and tried my best, hopefully it isn't too horrible :)

words: 8,180

tags: Reiner x Jean x F!reader, rough sex, rough oral sex, Eiffel tower position, slight panty kink (Reiner), cum eating, Reiner and Jean are Bisexual, College AU, Reijean if you pay attention or care lol, pet names

What was it about Reiner and Jean that had you constantly glued to their hips? If you’re friends were to ask they’d say it was a double crush you were denying. If you asked your family their answers would vary from underlying crush, to enjoying being the center of attention or a close friendship. You personally didn’t think you were attached to their hips at first, but the more people started to whisper and theorize, you started to ask yourself the question. In reality, Reiner and Jean were your closest and longest friends, surviving multiple friend groups and growing up. You met Reiner in grade school, sat next to him on the first day of fourth grade and throughout the whole year due to the teacher’s assigned seating. The two of you might as well have been siblings, walking home together, eating dinner and playing at each other's house, even his mom and your parents were close after a while. Jean entered the scene later, seventh grade to be exact when he transferred mid year and as luck would have it the three of you shared almost all classes together. Reiner was the one who sought out Jean’s friendship and you became friends by proxy and from then on all the way to college the three of you were tight knit. 

Attending the same university is what you think further solidified the glue between the three of you, swearing to everyone it wasn’t intentional to attend the same university together. Some believed you and others didn’t, but you really didn’t care. Thankfully rumors spreading about you being in a three way relationship with them ended going to college, high school was rampant. You’d admit that it did bother you, because why couldn’t you be really good friends with two guys? Why did everyone have to make it seem the other way around? Reiner and Jean never hesitated to defend your honor against the rumors, landing themselves in suspension once or twice when defending you turned physical. Even when you tried to blame yourself, they never allowed it. 

Now when people questioned what the true nature of your friendship was with them, you’d play into the bit and come up with wildly different answers on how the dynamics of the relationship worked. Reiner and Jean both got a kick out of it as did you. 

Junior year of college is what changed things for the three of you. Since you couldn’t room with them in the dorms since they were guys, all three of you decided to rent a condo off campus. You’d spent almost all your life with both of them so there wasn’t any harm in living with them, besides all three of you were just friends. 

Towards the end of the first semester of junior year already and finals quickly approaching, you were buried in your books, studying like a madman to keep your GPA around or above a 3.5, needing the best possible grades to earn the degree you were working towards. Jean and Reiner had it easy in your mind, ashy haired man working towards a degree in Art History and the blonde meathead shooting towards that finance degree. In hindsight, they didn’t have it much easier than you, but they were also stupidly smart in their own respective studies. You envied them in a sense. 

It was chilly out, keeping two blankets wrapped around you sitting at your desk and scrolling through the notes you took the other day to refresh your mind for the practice test on Monday. As much as you wanted to deny it, you need a mental break from school but wouldn’t allow yourself to take it, not when so much was riding on the line. 

“Hey.” 

Jumping in your chair at the sound of a gruff voice at your bedroom door, blinking and rubbing your eyes from staring at the screen for too long. Swiveling to face whichever one of them it was, you wrapped the blanket around you tightly. 

“Yea.” 

“Are you still planning on watching the season premier of the show later?” Reiner asked, tapping his knuckles on your doorframe and leaning into it. Your eyes refused to focus on his face and instead on the bulging bicep through the fabric of the long sleeve shirt he wore. Since when were his arms that big? I mean fuck you knew he worked out but you’d never noticed how ripped his arms alone were. 

“Yeah if I finish going through my notes.” 

Reiner scoffed, rolling his eyes and approaching you, reaching over you to slam the laptop shut, deciding for you if you were going to look over the rest of your notes or not. 

“Reiner-” 

“You’ve been holed up in here for almost two days. I know finals are important but I’ll bet your brain is fried to a crisp.” Defiantly declaring, crossing those beefy ass arms over his chest and waiting for you to give in like he knew you would. 

Whatever. The premier of the new season of the show the three of you watched would only be an hour, and then you could return to forcing yourself to absorb as much information as possible. Sighing dramatically for effect and throwing the blankets off of yourself, you uncross your stupidly numb legs and ignore the sharp tingles running up from your foot as you stride over to the small closet to put on a sweatshirt. Reiner didn’t bother leaving as you tossed your t-shirt and bra from where you stood partially out of view to pull the sweatshirt over your head. 

“Jean is picking up food and drinks - is that my sweatshirt that I haven’t been able to find?” Sounding hurt and accusatory as you brushed past him out of your room, looking back to nod with a smile, because yes it was his and it was his fault for mixing it in with your laundry. He muttered down the small hallway to the main area of the condo all three of you shared, pinching your shoulder when he purposely knocked past you, hearing the muttering replaced with chuckles. 

One of them had taken the liberty to find all the blankets that were supposed to already be in the living room and tossed them all over the couch, setting up for the three of you to comfortably watch the premier. You could hear Reiner in the kitchen that flowed into the open concept living room, making a whole bunch of unnecessary noise in trying to find whatever it was. If you were being honest, living with your closest friends was turning into living with siblings, getting into pointless arguments and doing everything to get on each other's nerves. Would you change it to live with a regular roommate that could be a hit or miss in how well you got alone? Hell no. 

Finding a spot on the couch while waiting for Jean, you decided to look through all the notifications you missed while studying for hours. Some of your classmates were checking in, or asking questions about the notes, contemplating on whether you should respond. They could wait, Reiner was probably right when he said your brain was fried at this point. Checking social media quickly turned into envy seeing some of your other friends enjoying the holiday break, done with their finals and celebrating by jumping from parties to bars or wherever they sold cheap alcohol. If only you were done with finals so you could actually destress, but that just wasn’t in the cards. 

Jean came through the door after barreling through it, hands full with food and drinks. From the strong aroma, you knew he went to go get wings, always choosing the messiest option somehow. 

“Damn out of your room finally? Swore you died or something.” Commenting with a smirk as he passed by the couch to get to the kitchen where Reiner was snickering at his comment. Rolling your eyes instead of lashing back, you joined them in the kitchen to plate some of the food and momentarily forget about the weight of finals. 

“Please tell me you didn’t just get beer.” Approaching the center island of the kitchen, noticing the familiar white box in one of the bags that happened to be Jean and Reiner’s preferred drink of choice. If they wanted to give you a break, they would’ve at least gotten drinks that didn’t take four or five to actually start to feel the buzz. 

“No, I got you those lemonade drinks.” 

Ugh you could kiss him. As much as you loved Jean as a friend he had a tendency to forget to grab whatever you needed when he went out, always having to send you or Reiner back to the store to go grab it. Taking the glass bottle and popping the lid, the tingling fizzy drink left a slight burn as it went down your throat, just the right amount for you to down an entire six pack in a night and not regret your life choices in the morning. 

“Shows about to start.” Reiner announced after checking his phone, taking his plate with him to the couch. You and Jean did the same, grabbing the drinks as well to keep from having to get up and get another if you wanted. 

Sitting next to Reiner at a reasonable distance, Jean plopped down next to you and ended up sandwiching you between them. They were doing the absolute most to work every single one of your nerves, but you didn’t want to lash out again like you did earlier this week when one of them accidently ate your leftovers in the fridge. Tucking your feet under you as Reiner found the streaming service the show was premiering on, you actually didn’t mind being squished between them, their combined body heat doing more than the blanket over your lap would warm you up. 

The host for the show gave a quick recap of last season, breaking down the drama and how it might affect this season. This dating competition game that you had started watching out of boredom surprisingly took the guys interest, somehow watching it with you when it was on to turning into offense when you’d watch the latest episode without them. Despite the show being corny and scripted and at times unbearable to watch, it was nice to do something like this with them. 

“I swear to god if Jodi and that dick Preston aren’t broken up I might not watch the show anymore.” 

Jean hummed in agreement with Reiner, guzzling down the rest of his first beer and reaching for another. “I know, he’s so fucking annoying and Jodi is either dumb or desperate if she hasn’t left him yet.” 

Biting back a laugh as you took a bite of one of the wings, you looked at both of them to see they were being completely serious, so engrossed in this stupid show. The premise of this variant of a dating show was two people are paired up as a couple in the beginning and go through a series of challenges to see if they’re right for each other. Couples who continuously didn’t work together could get voted off or petition to break up with their partner. The downside was if there wasn’t another couple trying to split, you could be left without a partner and voted off, ya know all those stupid dating show rules that make you question why anyone would sign up to do it. 

Finally beginning to destress while nursing your vodka infused lemonade, it all went to shit when the couple you were rooting for petitioned to split. 

“Oh my god no! Why?! They were so good together!” Exclaiming and throwing your arms up, throwing your head back into the couch and pouting like a child. 

“Man that sucks, but he did fuck Serena last season so I’d leave him to.” Reiner commented, grabbing your attention even more, failing to recall that important detail. 

“Really?” 

“Oh yeah, they were getting each other off in that hallway, remember? Moaning so loud it's a shocker no one heard them.” Jean answered, laughing a little as he recalled the scene you’d clearly missed. 

“Yea! She was standing there going ‘oh josh faster! I'm going to cum, oh my god I’m so close!’” Reiner took it upon himself to imitate the moans one of the contestants were making, and you wouldn’t have felt as uncomfortable if it wasn't for that throaty laugh he let out there at the end, turning your cheeks flush with pink and throwing back the rest of your drink to hide it. Jean found Reiner’s imitation hilarious, laughing a bit harder than you’d imagine he would if he wasn’t finishing his second beer already, grabbing another and throwing his arm behind the couch and slouching, lifting his hips in the air trying to get comfortable. 

Suddenly the short commercial playing on screen was so interesting, taking small sips of the second bottle of lemonade and trying to drown out the sounds of their talking over you. Studying your ass off for the last couple of months left you little to no time to snag yourself a quick one night stand. You’d been able to ignore the urges and pour everything into your notes and reviews, but fuck it was harder than you expected. Espescially when you pick up on conversations between Reiner and Jean on their nights out, the girls they sometimes went home with and wishing you were getting fucked into the next semester. When all three of you moved in here, everyone agreed not to bring anyone home, unless clearing it with the other two that they’d be gone for the night. It hadn’t happen yet (that you were aware of) and you were glad, unsure how you’d feel knowing one of your best friends was getting their dick wet and having to listen to it. 

Regular programming returned and tried as you did to focus on what was unfolding, you just couldn’t. Replaying Reiner’s laugh in your head and Jean’s hip motion, turning you warm all over and settling something funny yet familiar in your abdomen. You wouldn’t lie and say you haven’t though about fucking one of them, mostly they were just passing thoughts and that was it, but now? Jesus fucking christ your head was a mess. This what you get for turning down outings with other friends to study, leaving you hornier than a motherfucker. It’d be fine, the show only had about thirty minutes left and then you could go back to studying and rub one out if you really needed to. 

“I wonder why there aren’t any same sex couples? I’d like to see how that plays out.” Jean’s words had a slight slur to them as he spoke, now reclined completely with his feet propped up on the coffee table. 

“Wasn’t there one last season?” Reiner asked, in a similar position as Jean, one arm behind his head and his half drank beer between his thighs. 

“Mm no, I think Zach and Marco made out on a dare but they weren’t a couple.” Giving them an answer after searching through your brain for that jaw dropping scene from last season that had everyone talking about on social media.

“Oh yea I remember that, that was hot.” Jean slurred, heat dripping in his words and causing you to raise an eyebrow. Maybe it was because he was drunk, that was what you told yourself instead of questioning how your friend really felt about that scene unfolding.  

Every little movement either of them did drew your attention, watching as Reiner drank the last of his beer, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, only to be pulled away by Jean’s groans as he adjusted on the couch. They weren’t doing it on purpose and you were tipsy so that explained the clenching of your thighs to ease the throb, not because you were getting turned on by them. 

A preview of next week's episode played at the end of the premier, taking the liberty to watch it before getting up and heading back to your room to get your mind out of the gutter. But as you walked away, Reiner grabbed your wrist, pulling you back towards him lazily. 

“Leaving already?” 

“I said I’d watch the premier with you guys and then study before going to bed.” Ignoring how large his hand looked around your wrist and how warm it was on your skin, taking in a sharp breath. 

“It’s Friday though.” The blonde whined, the slight inebriation turning him a bit sappy. 

“Play a game of cards with us and then go, please.” Jean chimed in, fluttering those hazel eyes at you, begging to spend just a little more time together. 

Not giving it much thought, you let out a sigh and walked to the media console below where the T.V hung on the wall to grab the deck of cards. Surely there was a quick game the three of you could play that wouldn’t send your mind further into the gutter or put you in a compromising situation. Jean managed to get up and grab some water for everyone, tossing one to you and Reiner as he sat down on the floor behind the coffee table, leaning back into the couch for support. 

“One round of B.S, alright?” Shuffling the cards between your hands and the table, repeatedly doing so that way everyone played fairly. 

“Lame but alright.” Jean agreed, chugging some of the water and sharing a look with Reiner that you didn’t understand and didn’t care to acknowledge. 

Dividing the entire deck between the three of you, now waiting for one of them to put down the ace of spades to begin the game. Reiner ended up having it and motioned towards you to go next. This game used to be a staple for you guys, playing every chance you got and getting into heated arguments whenever someone suspected someone else of putting down the incorrect card. 

The game went quietly in the beginning, until you picked up on Jean and Reiner putting down cards that they ‘supposedly’ had, smiling behind your deck every time they called out cards that were in your deck, the only thing keeping you from calling them out was waiting until the deck got a little thicker. 

“Two eights.” Reiner called out, looking at you to go next. 

“Bullshit.” 

“Ha! You sure? Cause I promise you I just put down two eights.” Reiner laughed, encouraging you to rethink your decision but also egging you on to check in hopes of watching you take the entire deck. 

“Check it.” Jean motivated from beside you, pushing his shoulder with yours. Reiner still had that confident look on his face which did end up making you regret your call out a bit, second guessing if you were right to call his bluff. No matter what since you called B.S, you had to check and you were going to livid if it actually was two eights. 

Reaching forward and thumbing apart the top two cards from the rest of the deck, you snuck a peak and saw what you didn’t want to see; two eights. 

“Nevermind, I take it back.” Knowing that wasn’t how the game worked but hoping you could worm your way out of it. 

“Uh uh, check.” Reiner insisted while standing up, coming to lean over you from behind, taking your arm and trying to force you to check the first two cards so the entire deck would go to you. Doing everything to resist, laughing as the man behind you snarled and laughed in your ear, still trying to force you to check with his hand over yours. Jean was leaning over to help, slipping an arm under the one that held your deck in the other hand, sandwiching you between them for the second time that night. 

“Just check, it’s okay if you’re a loser this round.” The taller of the two sneered in your other ear, brushing his lips over the shell and letting out a breathy laugh. You instantly shivered and became much more aware of your position, Reiner pressed into you from behind and Jean from the side. Heat rose in your entire body, refusing to let yourself enjoy the firm muscular bodies rubbing against yours. 

Resistance faltered completely as you got caught up in the overwhelming thoughts and sensations coursing through you, Reiner succeeding in getting your hand to flip over the top three cards, chuckling directly into ear. 

“Now was that so hard?” So close to the side of your face, you couldn’t help but turn and meet him. His eyes were still a bit hazy from the alcohol but not enough for you to feel guilty for leaning in and pressing your lips to his. 

Reiner gasped softly, giving into the feel of your soft plush lips on his and parting them when he felt yours begin to. You had absolutely no explanation for what spurred you to lean in and kiss what you considered your best friend, but you did and fuck did it feel nice. Reiner’s lips were surprisingly soft and the lingering remnants of his beer on his tongue kept you latched to his mouth. 

Behind you, Jean watched intrigued, though not entirely shocked. He would feel left out if he weren’t enjoying his two best friends making out on the floor of the living room, noticing how his sweat pants turned a little tighter. He smirked when Reiner peeked an eye open, a silent invitation to join in while pulling away from you. Jean wasted no time grabbing you by the back of your neck and slotting his lips into yours, sighing delightfully and wasting no time moving them with his. 

There wasn’t enough time for you to process that it was Jean you were kissing now, your other best friend, letting out a small moan when his tongue dipped into your mouth. He was slightly more insistent than Reiner was, moving faster and with a purpose but still reeling you in as your mouths stayed locked together. 

Coming up for air, not even wanting to think about what had just happened, you stood quickly. 

“C’mon,” Nodding towards what you think was Reiner’s room, knowing that if you gave yourself a moment to consider what you were about to do, you’d back out and hole yourself away in your room and never speak of this again. 

Both of them were quick to follow, smiling victoriously behind you. The door shut and you sat on the edge of Reiner’s bed, looking at both of them and debating on how this should continue to carry out. Consequences could come later, right now you’d gotten a taste of what you’d been actively avoiding for the sake of a GPA and needing so much more. 

“However you want to do this, I’m down.” Voicing your consent and ultimately putting all of your trust in both of them. You would admit this could be smoother sailing since you’d known both of them since childhood basically, but just not like that. There wouldn’t be much need to worry about keeping them in check like you would if it were someone you went home from the bar with and part of that excited you. 

Out of the two of them, Jean approached first, standing between your legs and grabbing your face and kissing you again. Slowly as your mouths returned to motions from minutes ago, the taller man began to push you back into the bed, holding himself above you with his hands beside your head. The bed dipped in the sudden weight of another person, knowing it was Reiner. 

Slender hands slipped under your sweatshirt, roaming around your skin and littering it with goosebumps. You gasped when the lith fingers brushed the underside of your breast, remembering you weren’t wearing a bra. Jean chuckled into your lips, humming as he dared to cup the flesh, sighing pleasantly when brushing his thumb over your nipple. 

Abruptly his mouth left yours, leaving you dazed and sitting up to search for his lips, only to see hands that weren’t Jean’s pulling his shirt off. Reiner stood on his knees just behind your head, tossing the shirt to the other side of the room and giving a playful smack to Jean’s pectoral. 

“Sharing is caring by the way.” The blonde rumbled behind you, scolding Jean and pinching his nipple teasingly, hearing Jean hiss softly before Reiner slipped his arms under your armpits and hauling you to face him. He was in nothing but his boxer briefs, the faint imprint of his half hard cock catching your eyes and widening at how big it looked beneath the fabric. Fuck you hadn’t even thought about how big either of them were, both impressively fit and no doubt having a dick to match the rigid muscles rippling over their bodies. 

Falling with Reiner as he leaned back on the bed, you threw your legs over his torso and smashed your mouth to his, feeling another set of hands from behind you lift the hem of your sweatshirt until you were bare from the waist up. The man below you groaned when you sat up on his abdomen, running his hand across your stomach. Acquainted hands from earlier snakes around to your chest, Jean cupping both of your tits and softly kissing down your neck while circling his thumbs over your nipples. 

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed from below, raising his hips as he watched Jean tease and stimulate your nipples in to pert buds. Mindlessly, you began to scoot down until you came in contact with the bulge beneath Reiner’s boxers, grinding in time with Jean’s circling thumbs. The blonde groaned again, bringing his hands to your hips and encouraging you. 

“Eager huh?” A voice teased, pinching both nipples harshly and sucking the side of your neck. You couldn’t think of anything but the rising heat in your body, the teasing from Jean and the quieted groans from Reiner below. Maybe you were stupid for never giving this a shot before, both seemed eager and willing to please and show you what a good time looked like. 

“Are these my sweat pants?” Jean asked, pulling off of your neck and slipping one of his hands to the waistband of said sweats, snapping the band against your skin. 

“Mhm.” Unable to give any other answer as Reiner started rolling his hips up to yours, matching the roll of your own. Wasn’t intentional to wear either of their clothes but seeing how it looked now only made you more desperate for them and if that got you what you wanted, then where was the harm. Reiner began to tug at the waistband, sitting up on his elbows after hearing the short conversation between you and Jean, aiding him by lifting your hips and no longer straddling his waist. 

Enough teasing, you decided, pulling down Reiner’s boxer briefs after he tossed the sweats aside, gripping the base and watching his face contort at the contact. He was thick from the base up, intimidating you from the sight and size alone. Jean chuckled, moving to lay beside his friend, cupping the side of his face and hovering above his lips. Interesting to see there was no resistance from Reiner when their lips slipped together, craning to reach the ashy haired man like he was desperate for his taste. Smirking while the two of them made out, you flattened your tongue over the top of Reiner’s cockhead, fluttering your eyes at the delicious groan that Jean swallowed from Reiner. It’d take some working up to taking his dick all the way down, girthy enough to know your jaw would ache when it was all said and done. 

Sucking around the head and moaning when Reiner’s hand reached down to grip Jean’s dick still shielded by the fabric of his briefs, seeing his hand move up and down. Had they done this before? You couldn't help but wonder the more you took Reiner’s dick down seeing how they were both so comfortable with each other’s touch, and the slight jealousy of being left out. Jean’s hip rutted into Reiner’s hand, breaking their make out session to finally pull his briefs off and give you a look at what he was packing as well. It was slightly longer than Reiner’s, by an inch or two but not as thick, pausing your bobbing head to stare between his legs. 

“I think she likes it.” Reiner hissed, bringing a hand to your head, pushing you further down his dick and letting his head fall back when the tip brushed the back of your throat. 

“Haven’t met anyone who hasn’t.” Jean quipped back, moving off the bed and coming to stand behind you. You watched Reiner’s eyes follow him, a sly smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Warm hands massaged your ass cheeks, gasping around the cock still deep in your throat when two fingers swiped over your clothed pussy. 

“Fucking soaked.” He commented behind you, Reiner groaning approvingly as he still guided your head up and down on his dick. Jean then pulled your panties down, tossing them over to Reiner who shamelessly brought them to his nose, listening to him mutter a few words and pull you off of his dick to give you a break. Jean then took to spreading you apart, licking a strip from your clit to your entrance, squeaking out a moan and falling forward onto Reiner’s abdomen. The blonde pulled you forward until your tits dangled in his face, taking one into his mouth. 

“Holy shit-” Gasping at the double stimulation, forgetting all shame and grinding back into Jean’s face, who appreciated the gesture with a firm slap to one ass cheek, dipping his tongue inside you, slurping obnoxiously. You were shaking, struggling to hold yourself up, moaning like the whore you felt like. Reiner managed to keep you steady above him, holding you so he could bite and suck at your over sensitive nipples. You knew both of them were experienced but fuck, they were intent on making it impossible to make any future hookups impossible to enjoy, hoping this wouldn’t be a one time thing. 

Reiner suddenly bit down hard on your nipple, pulling off it with a tug and causing you to wince at the slight pain. Unsure of what would cause him to do that, you turned around to see one of Jean’s hands between your bodies, languidly stroking the blonde’s spit coated dick. This wasn’t exactly the right time to question the nature of your two friends' relationship, but the way Reiner was moaning and struggling to return to the task at hand, it continuously flashed in the back of your head. Jean was still buried in your pussy while simultaneously jacking Reiner off, pressing your forehead to Reiner’s and practically synchronizing your moans. 

“Fuck, have you two done this before?” asking the man below you, watching his slow nod come before his answer. 

“Yea - fuck - every once in a while.” panting as his hips grinded into Jean’s hand, and sitting up enough to where he could pry the man away, seconds away from cumming. 

Jean took the hint, also pulling away from your pussy and stroking it affectionately. You winced at the final slap he gave to your ass, coming back to lay beside Reiner, taking the side of his face and turning it towards him. 

“Pussy tastes fuckin’ devine.” 

“Oh yea?” Bolding swiping his tongue over Jean’s bottom lip, speaking as if you weren’t there listening to them talk. You watched as they kissed again, yearning for the combined taste and chastising yourself for not noticing the signs for whatever they had going on sooner. 

“Think I need a better taste for myself, lay down for me baby.” Reiner instructed, already moving to get out from under you. Jean chuckled deviously, pecking the side of your mouth and moving to the very back of the bed, reclining against the headboard, patting his inner thigh. Reiner immediately knew what he was wanting and waited until you were sitting between the other man’s legs to center him between yours. 

“Keep’em spread for me.” Glancing up to the other man, running his palms over your inner thighs. 

You were already so sensitive from Jean eating you out minutes ago, you were afraid you weren’t going to last much longer. Nevertheless, you let Jean hook your legs over his and watched on baited breath as the blonde examined your slick and puffy folds. 

“Fuck, such a pretty pussy.” His voice so airy, breathing over your cunt prior to latching onto your clit. Your back arched off of Jean’s chest, whining at the intentionally harsh sucks. The man behind you held you down with an arm around your chest, chuckling right beside your ear. Reiner looked up, smiled against your tingling flesh and flicked his tongue over your clit while he continued to suck. 

Jesus fucking christ, it was too much, you were already starting to feel yourself cum when Jean’s hand tipped your head back. “Don’t cum, not yet gorgeous.” 

“Jean, I can’t.” Mewling pathetically, feeling the beginnings of tears at your waterline from the overstimulation. 

“Sure you can.” Giving a slow grind of his dick on your lower back, the promise of a silent reward if you did what you were told. Keeping your head thrown back on his shoulder you shamelessly moaned and whimpered as Reiner alternated between sucks and swirls of his tongue, listening to his chuckles as you writhed against Jean. He finally pulled away only to shove his middle and ring finger inside, pulling you too look at him by your chin as he sat on his knees between your legs and furiously fingered you. 

“Fuck look at you, so pretty baby.” He cooed with a smirk, running along the spongy part deep inside of you and giving a small tilt of his head, knowing you would take it as your indicator to cum. 

You came on a broken cry, arched off Jean’s chest and pulsating around Reiner’s fingers. Both of them laughed endearingly at their combined success at getting you to come. Reiner pulled his fingers out, locked his eyes with yours and sucked the two digits clean. Jean was the one who moaned behind you at the act, dick still grinding into your lower back subtly. 

“Think you’re okay to take one of us?” One of them asked, still delirious from your orgasm to tell who was asking. You gave a nod and sat forward, not really caring how but still feeling the ache in your cunt for more. 

“Alright hands and knees then princess.” It was Jean instructing, hearing his voice vibrate in his chest that was still pressed to your back. 

On shaky legs you sat on your knees, watching them move around as you positioned yourself on all fours. Reiner was still behind you, massaging your ass cheeks and letting out huffs of appreciation at your puffy wet folds, his and Jean’s handy work. Jean sat on his knees in front of your face, running a loose fist over his angry cock, using the pre-cum leaking from the slit to lubricate his motions. 

“If it’s too much, pinch my thigh or kick the brute behind you.” Jean swooned, holding your head up to look at him as he spoke, stroking his thumb over your bottom lip, watching the anticipation blaze in his irises. 

“We’ll take care of you angel,” Reiner pressed himself into your back, lips brushing against the shell of your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, witness the shared glance between both of them and wait on pins and needles. 

The fat head of Reiner’s cock started to slide between your folds teasingly, wetting the tip and making it hard to focus on your gentle kisses you were giving to Jean’s. It was good they were both aware of their size and knew they couldn’t just shove themselves in disregarding you completely, but holy shit, if your weeping cunt wasn’t enough to entice Reiner to slip inside you already then you weren’t sure what will. 

A hand held your jaw when you enclosed your lips around the tip, sucking long and slow, tasting the salty pre that continuously leaked out. Jean’s head was thrown back, the defined muscles cascading over his body clenching the more you took in his cock more. You could hear Reiner chuckle on a low breath, pushing just the tip inside of you and giving a full body shutter. If their goal was to drive you insane with their pace, it was working, taking things into your own hands and pushing your hips back into Reiner until you were flush to his pelvis. 

He choked, dug his fingers into your hip and somewhat growled with the ragged breaths he was taking. It was Jean’s turn to laugh now, the sound so disgustingly seductive you could feel yourself grow wetter around the cock you shoved yourself on. 

“God you’re fucking tight, feels so good.” The blonde breathed out, pulling his hips back nearly all the way, returning the favor by thrusting forward and sending Jean’s cock deeper down your throat. The hand not holding your chin tangled harshly in your hair, looking down with parted lips and hooded eyes at the sight and little reaction you gave. They may have known you all your life but they didn’t know how well you could take dick, letting a small amount of pride surge through you at their astonishment.  

Their rhythm synchronized quickly, settling somewhere in the middle of not too soft and not too rough, letting you adjust to their respective sizes. You knew it wouldn’t last before they abandoned it all and used you to find their pleasure, just from radiating restraint coming off of them, eventually fucking your throat and pussy like you were nothing but a hole to be filled and that thought alone was exciting. 

“Shit, do that again.” Jean breathily exclaimed, enjoying the method of your tongue swirling around his shaft as he plunged in and out of your mouth, tipping your head back with the hand still in your hair. Giving him a hum, you repeated the action, felt your stomach flip in on itself as he moaned prettily. 

There was a slight hitch in breath from the man behind you, faltering in his thrusts and seemingly regaining his composure. Something about Reiner experiencing the same surge of arousal as your were at Jean’s expression and action thickened the lust hanging in the air around you. He didn’t resume his pace like you were expecting him to, but yanked back into focus on Jean tightening his grip in your hair and pistoning his hips forward, fucking your throat with vigor, something snapping inside him. 

“There you go, gorgeous.” Growling, inhaling sharply through his nose. Your eyes were welling up with tears, the ache in your jaw beginning but you didn’t want to stop, not until his cum was trickling down your throat, leaving you no choice but to swallow. Reiner palmed both of your ass cheeks, spreading them far apart and slamming into with the same force Jean was. This sudden switch up had your legs nearly buckling, tears rolling down your cheeks and pathetic whines and whimpers muffled. Your pussy fluttered around Reiner everytime Jean thrusted down your throat, the wet squelching noise turning obscene, your gummy walls sucking the blonde back in over and over, like your pussy craved to be stretched and fucked on his thick cock. 

“Fuck she feels so good, so wet,” Reiner groaned, talking to Jean, again like you weren’t there. 

“Mm, she sucks cock better than you.” Jean groaned back at the mental image his friend was painting, acknowledging your mouth felt just as good as your pussy probably did. 

“Not my fault, you barely give me a chance before trying to get me inside you.” 

Their banter of a conversation sending you into a new wave of arousal, images of their bulky bodies fighting over who would fuck who and never in your life did you think something like that would turn you on. Despite it being your two best friends fueling these fantasizing images, you couldn’t help but want to be in the middle of that from here on out. From the way both of them fucked you, there wasn’t any desire to look for anymore hook-ups, not when the two perfect candidates were right here. 

“Gonna cum princess, be a good girl and swallow it all for me.” A husky voice drawing you back to reality, doing your best to give him a nod and look up at him with doe-like eyes, a trick that worked on just about every guy. 

With a slow drawn out groan, Jean pushed the entirety of his cock into your mouth and down your throat, pressing your nose to the happy trail below his belly button. Hot ropes of cum shot down your throat, feeling him ease up and pull out of your mouth so he wouldn’t accidentally choke you with his cum. He gave you a lopsided smile, wiping away the milky liquid from your bottom lip and the corner of your mouth with his thumb, shuffling over to Reiner who was still fucking your pussy absolutely raw. You could only assume the blonde cleaned off the cum smeared thumb Jean presented him, based on the hiss and brief collision of mouths. 

A heavy palm landed on the center of your back, forcing you off of your elbows holding you up and forming a deep arch in your back. From this angle, Reiner was able to sink so much deeper inside you, splitting you in half on his thick cock, crying out with a moan. 

“Glad I held off, been dying to hear those pretty moans again baby.” He chuckled, putting more of his weight into the hand on your back, forcing you to keep the arch. 

“Fuck Reiner, don’t stop.” Gasping, twisting the bedsheets in a tight fist, the tears welling up in your eyes again. 

“Don’t plan to, sweetheart, I want to see you leaking by the time I’m done.” 

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, unable to stop the constant moans and incoherent noises leaving your lips. Jean had come back into view, partially laying down beside you, keeping your hair out of your eyes and giving you a look of endearing smugness, like watching you getting fucked by Reiner was better than fucking you himself. 

Skin slapping on skin echoed in the bedroom, your body coated in a layer of sweat and your limbs so weak that if it weren’t for Reiner holding you by the hips now, you wouldn’t be able to keep yourself upright. Your spongy walls clenched repeatedly around him after another orgasm, unsure of how many at this point. 

“Doin’ so good, doll.” Jean cooed, pinching the nipple he had been messing with and muffling your broken squeak with a soft kiss, keeping you occupied. Reiner grunted, beginning to break his steady harsh rhythm and fucking into you furiously with abandon. His breathing turned into short gasps, letting out something of a whine, tipping his head back with two final slams of his hips before cumming inside of you. 

A familiar warmth filled your pussy, moaning weakly into Jean’s lips, giving up on holding your position. Reiner pulled out slowly, groaning as he watched a glob of his cum drip from your hole. You collapsed on the bed, forcing yourself to turn over and lay on your back, placing your hands over your eyes to ease the dizziness you were experiencing. 

Just when you thought all the nerve endings in your body were shot, you sprung forward when a flat tongue glided over your folds, seeing Reiner lap up the mess he made between your legs, smirking and moving out of the way so Jean could do the same thing. 

“Fucking filthy.” Muttering at the sight of them both taking turns cleaning you up, your legs twitching and tingling from sensitivity. They both looked at you guiltless, even though you were shaking with overstimulation that didn’t stop you from pressing Jean’s head into your folds, watching as he eagerly lapped at Reiner’s cum. They switched again, Reiner being gentler this time, only running his tongue across your messy slit twice before using his middle finger to shove some of it back in. 

Reiner moves out from between your legs to lay beside you, cradling the side of your face for the sole purpose of giving you a taste of his cum. You were just as shameless, moaning into the kiss and running your hand through his sweaty hair, feeling him smirk against your lips. He pulled away, grabbing Jean by the back of the neck and slotting his lips between his, kissing him rather tenderly. 

With zero strength to make it to the bathroom, let alone your room to grab a change of clothes, Reiner and Jean took the liberty of taking care of you. Both of them pulling on their sweats thrown around the room, Reiner cleaned your inner thighs while Jean went to your room to grab you some underwear after tossing you one of Reiner’s sweatshirts. All three of you situated yourself into Reiner’s king bed, you of course in the middle of them both. There was so point in going back to your room and studying, not when you had several unanswered questions. 

“So how long have you two been dating?” They both froze beside you, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

“We’re not dating, we just fuck occasionally.” Jean answered, Reiner nodding to further reaffirm the statement, but you weren’t buying it. Their chemistry in bed was enough to convince you they’d been hiding a relationship from you. 

“You just fuck? No feelings attached?” 

“There’s obviously feelings when we’ve been friends this long, but we’re not exclusive.” Reiner responded, propping himself up on his elbow and looking in the direction of you and Jean. “We didn’t tell you because there wasn’t anything serious between us.” 

Okay, that made more sense than you were expecting too. But experiencing what you just did created a longing inside of you, one that might’ve been there that you didn’t want to acknowledge before now. Jean and Reiner were your best friends without a doubt, but they were also so much more than that and in order to not ruin the friendship, you shoved that deep down inside of you. 

“But,” Jean’s hands from behind turned you to look towards him. “We’re also not opposed to the idea of you being a part of this situationship.” 

“You’ve talked about this?” Surprised to know this wasn’t a coincidence happening, sounding like they planned this in a way. 

“Of course we have, do you know how long both of us have had a crush on you?” Reiner laughed, sending your mind into a flurry of confusion. They liked you? Like holding affectionate feelings beyond friendship for you? 

“Huh?” 

“Since junior or senior year of high school. We didn’t know we both felt the same way about you until after we had sex for the first time six months ago, agreeing that if it ever came to the point where you chose one of us over the other we would be okay with it.” Jean was speaking now, softly and almost lovingly, sending a blush to your face. 

“And we’ll never ask you to choose, if you want only one of us that’s fine and if you end up wanting both of us, that’s fine too.” Reiner spoke with the same inflection Jean did, softly smiling and looking at you endearingly. 

“I want both of you.” Blurting out without even thinking twice, hearing them laugh. But you knew you would rather have both than just one, it's always been the three of you. 

“Don’t decide now idiot, we’re being serious.” Jean pinched your shoulder with a frustrated grunt, rolling his eyes while Reiner just laughed softly. 

“We can talk about it more tomorrow, it’s late.” Reaching over to turn the lamp off on his bedside table, pulling you down under the comforter into his arms and kissing the top of your head. Jean shuffled behind you, pressing his chest to your back and kissing your cheek. 

For a few moments you refused to close your eyes, trying to break down all the new feelings and emotions you were experiencing, from earlier when you were at their mercy, to the confession from them both. It was in a way exciting, and whatever ended up happening between the three of you, it would work out in the end.

[krisokiii]

i have a bunch of nightmares human designs i made and i dont like every single one of them, tried making another one

i think i like this one, just not the clothes (idk why but his clothes are always the most hard thing for me to think of)

and in addition, i also drew dream:

the ones in reference are my early 2023 designs (idk why are they so pale, like i usually have the ashy colors in my art but their skin is GREY???)

also sorry for making them twinks

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip Whenevers

Got tagged by @sulphuricgrin <3 Editing to add @sanza-17 Thank you for tagging me!!!!

Going to tag @skyrim-forever @firefly-factory @dayundying @nyarevar @snowy-weather @archangelsunited and anyone else who's interested.

Posting writing and art today. We have one third of Joshi's hair and Sydari's pov from Serious Mistakes 18 which is almost finished.

Ya boi is pretty and almost done. I just need to finish his hair, do some layer magic and some finishing lighting.

Anyway, Josh left a party and Sydari runs into him afterwards. Under the cut for length. Featuring Joshi's Skaal fur coat and his special interest in Dwemer.

Sydari had seen what looked like a well-worn path that weaved into the forest not too far away from her tent and decided to explore it, hoping that the walk would clear her head and wouldn’t be too strenuous. Getting to Brodir Grove felt like scaling the side of a mountain though to her relief, the path was mostly downhill. The air was crisp, and the wastes were silent as she wandered the twisting path, the lantern in her hand the only thing aside from the waxing moons that lit her path. It was as she descended what looked to have once been a set of stairs carved into the earth that she saw a faint spark of red in the distance. The orange glow almost bobbed in the air, a tiny pinprick of light in a sea of inky black shadows and glowing dunes.

She cautiously approached, her other hand reaching for the hilt of her Razor just in case. Then she smelt it on the wind, the distinct smell of burning tobacco. She lowered her hand just as the silhouette of a tall, lean figure came into view.

“Didn’t think I’d see you around.”

Sydari stopped just as the light from her lantern illuminated the figure, leaning against a boulder, his thin frame swamped in a silvery fur coat.

“Didn’t think I’d see you either, Sero.” She sighed, raising her lantern a little higher to better illuminate the space around them. He’d wiped some of the ash paint from his face, a crusted, white border framing his blue-grey skin. His dark hair fell around his shoulders, messy and coarse as it usually was. He seemed tired, then again, he always seemed tired. He sighed as he flicked the end of his cigarette onto the ashy ground and crushed it with the toe of his boot.

“Yeah, well I—”

“You left the banquet,” She cut in before she could stop herself. He seemed a little taken aback, stepping away from the bolder, cane in hand as he approached what looked to be a sheer drop. He stopped a few paces from the edge and sighed. His grip tightening on the handle of his cane.

“Yeah, I did.” He stated bluntly. Sydari moved towards him, only stopping as he held out his free hand, “I needed some space.”

She swallowed, her heart beating faster at Teldryn’s statement. She watched as he turned a little, facing her as he spoke. His voice was small, melancholy. She wanted to reach out to him.

“I ah, I needed some space and like I told you before…” He sighed and scratched his nose, his gaze moving away from her and back towards the edge of what now appeared to be a sunken Dwemeri ruin. He started rubbing along the outside of his upper thigh, his teeth clenching as he looked back at her, “Needed to deal with shit that’s obviously my fault.”

 “I’m sorry about that,” She apologised with a sigh. She lowered the lantern a little, no longer illuminating Teldryn’s face.

“You’re apologising?” He tilted his head, his hand reaching for his pocket, “I um… ah—”

“I know you can’t control how that thing reacts,” she tried to explain, her voice a little panicked, “I um, I’m not sure why I lashed out at you like that.”

“Coz you’re mad at me for the other day, yeah?” Teldryn replied, his voice breaking a little, “Kinda figured you’re barely tolerating my shit as it is,” He nodded at his hip, “This thing being a fuck-up probably was the last thing you wanted to deal with.”

She sighed, choosing to take another step towards him, noting that he didn’t ask her to stop, “I still shouldn’t have rubbed it in your face.”

The corners of Teldryn’s lips turned up slightly, his gaze still trained on the ruin below, “Apology accepted, sera.”

She closed the distance between them, moving to stand by his side. She looked down into the pit below, its edges expertly cut and smoothed into a sheer drop. It made her feel a little sick, and she took a step backwards. Teldryn reached for her shoulder, his gloved fingers brushing against the fabric of her coat.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a drop,” He smiled, taking a step with her, “Would you believe me if I said I’m not a fan of it myself?”

She bit down on her lip, glancing over at him as he let go of her, “Then why were you standing on the edge?”

Teldryn shrugged, the fur on his coat rippling as he moved his shoulders, “Curiosity, there’s a lever down the bottom of the tower that I’ve been trying to figure out. There’s a key slot but it’s not one of the puzzle locks that you usually find on these things. Looks more like some of the shit you find in Chimeri structures that used to facilitate teleportation. So, I’m wondering if there’s a connection since the ruins look like they’re First Council era an—”

“Teldryn, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sydari cut in. Honestly, she hadn't the first clue about these kinds of ruins outside of what one might be able to loot from it, and considering her experience chasing Mercer Frey through Irkngthad, she wasn’t quite keen to delve into one again.

She’d leave those jobs up to the more eager recruits.

[miss-ostrich-art]

Back at it again with another comic from that one tiktok sound. It's just full of so many canon hetalia character interactions!

Tiktok version

[sageofgrief]

i can't remember your rules but i would like to request krisis getting flustered? thanks. i will llose my mind 💛

from brisquad-unit-4402

flustered krisis!?

︱ gn reader , teasing reader , flirty , established relationship with wilson

divider by cafekitsune

art by papercider (twt)

vezalius bandage

you and zali throw around flirty remarks at each other all the time, whenever one of you tries to catch the other off guard with it, the other just hits you with one right back, its definitely an amusing relationship for an observer.

zali was tending to your wounds after you trip and fell and took a pretty good bruise on your knee caused by the rocky ashy road. "you really need to be more careful, my dear.." he said as he laid the bandage on your soft skin, to which he noticed. despite being a medic healer, he's never had to heal you that often since you were really a careful person, which is why youre confused how this even happened. "your skin.." zali noticed "..what? whats wrong?" you looked at zali then down at your knee, which now was a better sight to be seen than before. "..nothing, it's..so soft" zali caressed the area around the bandage, you chuckled softly as you thought this was another one of zali's flirtatious gestures he was trying to pull on you to finally see you blush. you put a hand on top of his hand and it felt...warm. "youre warm, zali" you took notice, looked back at him and smiled, a smile that stung his heart and the memories of it ringing, bouncing back and forth in his head. he thought of all the happy memories you two had with each other up until this moment and started to form a faint blush on his cheeks. "zali?" "hmm?~" "youre blushing." you said, "am i now? well thats unfortunate now is it?" he chuckled softly, zali didnt care now that he technically loss their little game 'cause all he wanted is to tell you how he was really feeling, and by the look of it, it looked like you felt the same way.

vantacrow bringer

vanta always act so tough but this man will melt if he stares into your eyes for even 5 seconds, maybe even less. you knew this was his one weakness so you decided to challenge him to a staring contest.

"hah! i win once again!" vanta cheered as he released his arm from yours, you two were having an arm wrestling contest, you already knew you'd lose so you just gave up. "what should we do next? ive been winning every challenge so far~" vanta teased you, "how abouuut.. a staring contest?" you suggested. "easy!" he confidently obliged.

you two sat down on a chair across not that far from each other and began. you stared into his purple eyes that windowed into his inner soul. you were doing great, but vanta's eyes seem to be shaking? "why you shaking, bringer?" you asked, "...im not shaking youre shaking...." he nervously murmured.

the man eventually blinks and you declare your victory, but just before you said so, you take a look at vanta who broke the gaze and it looked like the man was out of breath from running a marathon. he had a hand on his chest, he was blushing, and he was sighing. "looks like i won.." you declared. "y-yeah.. you win" he admitted defeat and looked back to you, "are you blushing?" you tilted your head to the side. "uhhhhh..." he tried to come up with an excuse before looking down at his phone, "hey zali's calling, lets meet up with him...!" vanta quickly whipped up a quick excuse just to get you to stop teasing him about his flustered state. while walking though, you could tell that he was still thinking about that moment by the way he smiles randomly from time to time.

yu q wilson

he's a simple boy. just hold his hand and you'll have him hiding his face from you. he also enjoys when you ruffle his hair, when you sit on his lap, oh he also loves when you give him nicknames.

you were in the drivethru at a local fast food restaurant, you were in the driver seat, wilson being your passenger princess. you pulled up and requested your order to the worker, "that's it for me.. you want anything, yu?" you asked wilson if he wanted anything, he told you his order and you told it back to the worker. you decided to pull a little prank and call him your husband instead of your boyfriend. it's a silly prank that you saw on the internet and you knew instantly that you had to try it on him "my husband just wants fries" "HU- hus..band...?" he nearly yelled but covered his mouth before doing so. "yes, thank you" you thanked the lovely worker and drove away from them. you drove up to the window and waited for your order, you decided to look back to wilson and he just had the most confused smile on his face with the most obvious blush on his cheeks. "whaaat?" you acted clueless. "HUSBAND?...husband???" that time he yelled to which you just laughed. right before the worker opened the window to hand you your order, wilson pulls you into a kiss that nearly turned into a makeout session in the car...you freaks.

im SO sorry this took so long 4402!!! but at last, i deliver

intro • masterlist • general rules • detailed request rules • main acc @sageofgrief • nsfw acc @sageofmarionette

[creatingblackcharacters]

I also want to vent about Elder Scrolls for a second— they have multiple “human” races, and for some reason, they made one pretty explicitly Black

IMO all the “races” should be able to be Black, but that’s not the main point here

In the past games, they gave them these (mostly) rich skin tones, Afrocentric features, and textured hair

(from 1998)

Morrowind (2002)

(appearences in Oblivion in 2005— a game not known for how good its character models look, but at least they tried?)

None of them are perfect by any means (except for maybe Oblivion’s concept art), but GOOD LORD then we jump to Skyrim

???

SIX YEARS LATER, they reverted to ashy brown paint bucket, and sometimes not even that

Like what happened?

I'm laughing bc I was scrolling through the pictures like okay, okay, that's nice, I like that, i- OH. well. Yeah those are ass lmao and isn't Skyrim the most popular one? I don't get it. They were all really nice beforehand 😅 they fired all the Black people at the studio or something 😭

[zoetheneko]

Now that the new Avatar movie has been announced and that concept arts were dropped along with it, i will now throw on how these artwork on the new Na'vi tribe we'll be seeing may have confirmed my assumtions skin tone wise.

I took a sample of that one Fire Na'vi woman's skin tone (on the first image) as well as the Omaticaya and Metkayina clans' for comparision (i could be incorrect on the first two and if yes my bad i tried to pick up midtone colours).

I theorised to myself, with the little help of outside opinions, that the blue skin tone of these Na'vi would be a ashy/desaturated shade of blue. The sample i took resemble a dark blue gray (or it might be lighter because there's a bit of shadow on where i picked the colour), so this theory could be most likely be true.

[notchainedtotrauma]

The Revolution Will Be (Black) Life: How I Write The Complexity of Abolishing The World

I have never done that. Never. I have done posts aggregating Black poeisis and Black thought and Black art in order to put people's minds together. But I don't remember ever having done that kind of post...with my own work. So there it is. And yes, I wrote all the poems below.

Ode to the Black Girl Breathing The Party as She Goes

Which corner stores are required for the hand

to leap,

a globe of perspiration and swallow

a forever memory within the ineptitude

of fleshy concrete,

and what can she do with that ?

If she parts her hair, still,

the rock and sway of her scheme

and the merging of all the voices demanding she do her dance.

Illusions don't propel the airy girls on the ice

don't brace them with keys 

and offbeat songs,

don't whirl them against the wrongness of a blade

and their head,

a bubble in mourning

a piece of gum on an ashy knee.

Say what you want about all that gossip,

the walls remember the undoing of her bones

and her pacing teeth.

She doesn't attach herself 

to the begonias down the street

to repetitive devices, 

sheathed with sallow;

she hums her cordoned sentimentality,

a breast remains

sugar for the horizon

a sprouting eye around her renamed waist.

It's never been about weaving leather

about butterflied dust

and rippling blood;

the party always collapses into

faux furs earmuffs

and hobbling backgrounds.

Nobody needs saving, 

but all need a good sermon,

the pastor grand and golden,

the cars piling up around vigorous bodies

and secular kisses.

The wan girls on the burred couches

their hands a swarming breath

the rope blossoms from their stripped knees

and still 

she severs them cotton candy full

remand their tangled mouths 

acts as judge and jury,

holds the lawyer in her mouth,

his flushed indifference.

No bed suffices for the layers of bad sex

birthed from the courtroom.

Pear trees and verdant muck 

a short history of early drives and 

giggling proximity;

outside supplies psych wards

and paper boxes 

while people twist themselves into a curl of boredom.

Her leaning towards every sorrowful crushed bird

rushes her kneeling to bare rooms

full of bright coral light

and her sweltering voice.

But Who Will We Feed Next ? (* The entire poem turns on Nope by Jordan Peele)

As one image dissolved and another appeared, her heart raced.

from Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments by Saidiya Hartman

The music tethers what I thought was a baptism to the ground

I wake up to the sourness of cracked mud around my throat

I remain enmenshed in the slowness of honey, waiting for victory

I am spectator and victim, parting the manufactured sky with a paring knife

There is so much blood I wait to be slewed inside uncessing rooms

The geometry of my heart is something I remember sharp and shallow

I quiet down when through the dripping egg yolk of a blinking breath

What do you want to know now that I lay with an eye in my mouth.

I guess unsettling ache wasn't enough to crash the car home

I sit there and boil the bark of a cinnamon tree, hoping for redress

I drive the camera into my throat, a relief

The light can be so pale and so still I curl up to the side of my bed

He sat there and tried to whisper sweet things as the whiskey grew bitter

I tore the last silk dress I could find in a crumbling cabinet and let myself smile

I seek the comfort of hurt in the dust of every sloppy merry-go-round

I don't hunger for the hatchet or the camcorder and my brother holds my hand

The Pearl We Buried Into Our Sanctified Flesh

In a black episteme, radical spiritual practices gave release to alternate forms of being and selfhood. Ecstatic enactments of communion, often practiced in all-women prayer bands, produced realms generated in what we could call ecstatic time.

from Black Utopias: Speculative Life and the Music of Other Worlds by Jayna Brown

We're very sorry our bodies 

are burning

quashed against the wall.

We're minutious with it

a necklace of wails

glassy abundance 

a boredom so sharp it never hurts.

What do you see amidst the white robes,

music like,

a story about your nerves,

your sliced breast.

Nobody knows about the cigarettes wrapped around our wrists,

our delicate day dreaming

the scars across our sweet

when we pleasure ourselves with the breach in wooden surfaces.

Maybe we were always unprepared for this,

this escalator widening our mouths 

the metal cool and glinting against our jaws.

We want to hold everybody

with a knife in our hands.

We hurled our brown bodies across the length of the room

where there was no room

an eye, a building

erected through our smooth lower half.

We were prepared for this, though:

our hands rippling with the mud

we chewed on earlier

hoping for flight, for a slow erosion,

for a miracle bonding us to the walls and the walls and the walls.

We wake up with one mind,

clouded with pain,

we say everything but forget the soft of our hands

the ghost of our mouths.

Our teeth are white like nobody is around us

a pearl we can open

as it breaks us.

Surely you must remember the blood

we poured into your expectant throat,

the dull of your gaze

quartered and verdant

flowers huddled across

the small of you.

We sing and you cannot hear us,

buried into yourself.

Is that you, rolling off our prayers ?

We marry your silence

circled around you, sorrowful and glad.

When done, we sit at the forefront of burnt churches,

seek the cross to lay down through it,

embrace crumbling walls,

dusky and bitter.

We always carry between us a jar of liquid ash

forgive all our tremors

parry your slow walk

force into your throat the meaning of our grace.

We are nothing if sorrowful, which means sweet, which means

raw fish into your hands,

flailing as it tears.

What we eat doesn't sever our sweat from our spit:

when exhausted we strip away a car,

let the machinery soothe us

dip our hands into the motor as it if could save us

and it can.

We lay on puddles of leaves, dark green and itchy

we examine twisted valves,

we call out to the blurry road,

resting at last.

Skyrise for That Little Black Girl Nodding Along Her Own Hum

"I’m connected to legacy. This is more than just trying to build a watch. This is about building LEGACY."

from Aldis Hodge's Path to Purpose by Aldis Hodge

We well up against the mainspring

or we are the mainspring;

a smile smears blood across the border

between our empty

and that mouth, black,

thick,

a bowl of smoke.

We are the mainspring, I say;

a narrow bone 

grown from nowhere,

our collective body in flight from

ourselves.

We require no explanation when the light blooms so bleary

a man knots it across his face,

carves a river of glass and metal,

drags his knuckles across the grease of 

an acrid morning.

The morning is something only our children

remember;

cool with ease, playing games they made out of

dusk and orange peel,

they're buildings all over again.

The children, knitted through the amber sky,

liquid and gorged, 

draw an arc beneath their ripe breaths,

jolting lines laced with sleek skin;

tomorrow they bring cities behind their teeth.

Nothing feels good besides so many wheels;

when her husband, she boils sugar and cherry bark,

holds a finger to the door,

sticky with endings.

Everyone said hello after the first few nights

of splattered eyes

and peculiar bracelets.

Now everyone's made it, which is to say, everyone's died.

Who saw Harlem in flight ?

Who handed a fleshy tongue to white paint

and scorched concrete ?

The little girl we lost in the fire,

whistling rainbows on abandoned tree trunks,

a braid cloudy and undone:

but look how glistening,

the kind of grace her skipping knees

sway.

Tomorrow

she brings eternity in her teeth.

When we wake up

our children;

our spines curled to sleep.

It doesn't matter;

anyone can be bird 

or air.

Notes: 

1. I cite Garrett Morgan, who invented not only the three-position traffic signal, but a breathing device that would serve as a blueprint for the creation of the gas mask. 

2. I cite Marie Van Brittan Brown, who invented the first home security city system.              

3. I also cite Black feminist educator, poet, children books author, playwright, essayist and self-taught  urban designer June Jordan, whose unrealized urban planning project Skyrise for Harlem, created in collaboration with Buckminster Fuller, showcases her interdisciplinary radical and transformative vision. The title of the poem models itself upon the title of her architectural reimagining of Harlem.

The Spilled Skin of a Luminous Sunrise (This references the Lake Lanier)

All water isn't good water;

we kneel in a fistful of muddy rust, our voices ache.

We unearth jagged walls, charred glass;

our spines limp, undefined. As if a noose blooming

from our back; a small mouth, 

sated and bitter.

When we woke up, a hand between our thighs,

we saw streaked dusk, 

a wisp of chain-link fences

twisted around 

our doors.

In the vast empty rooms, sunlight thick as sugar cane;

often, I ask for forgiveness, drink the heat on the ground.

Can I be slick flesh, lithe marrow ?

Hands and knees always burn in the frosted evening;

I remember a scar between my teeth.

The knife becomes an exercise in longing;

wrists scooped from crumbled soil,

a voice floats in a cocktail glass,

a tear across the hours.

Between the charred sky and a foamy church

sinking into a pool of salt 

and tar

the glisten of a sheathed leg,

soaring.

We grin with smoke in our mouths; 

no longer 

are we scattered mist

a dismal shadow

through which

a hand reaches 

for some relief.

Blood comes easy when wrung

from gravel;

rivulets of dreamy history

a soft body left to rot.

Maybe or maybe not; some houses unraveling,

a wall black with grease.

Somewhere, I sip white roses. Sandalwood.

Knead flesh into prayer.

I come for the flood, stay for blasphemy.

The wawering windows spit liquid static, 

rupture the blurry light

a wound remains.

The Sweetness of Black Girls Driving Themselves Away

Something bigger than the two-plus-two way everybody else lived from day to day was going on and she was right there and part of it. Whatever it was that had fallen away was showing her another way to be in the world.

from The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara

Out of hunger, the road, slick black ice, 

a tongue, flickers; 

every window swallows a dust covered melancholy,

a sack of tears 

slid down the throat 

from which, fraying at the edges,

a clogged voice.

The afternoon descends like a rusted blade,

a fucked up smile

whose fat lip feeds on air.

Somehow, the trees blend in with the background of bleary

glimmer and brown matter; 

a faceless empire of fallen cackles, 

a crushed orange

whose grainy skin keeps rupturing 

at the center;

and everyone's sticky and worn out and fed up 

with the sluggish movement of 

overheated metal

and rank leather.

Popsicle red stains the foam capped borders of damp dresses,

arms drifting across bare clavicles,

lenghtened necks,

as if to say "let's play";

the hand gliding down the suddenly empty trail,

the severed hip 

signal more than casual boredom,

more than the ease

of the overfed

subject.

The breathing has grown

ragged

and rawboned.

There are men somewhere, in the constant ebb and flow

of a dreadful and swollen light;

an offering of hands around yielding flesh, 

breath like vapor

besides a pair of legs bent in gleeful prayer. 

The sea remains everything they haven't

touched,

an oily horizon of debris adorning their 

fractured guts;

a bracelet of nails across their

ankles.

A kingdom of brown legs 

spiked 

with hazy bruises

stretched against a background of trees burning like men

rose water sprayed against 

a lipsticked mouth;

bitter honey gets smudged through a mound

of droopy flesh, 

a slight opening. 

When the sobbing comes,

no sound.

The night comes out liquid and suffocating, 

a lava crusted bulb of

pallid light

they can reach and pluck,

like a rotten fruit,

full and ready to explode.

Black ice turned to sludge, a muddy field

wrecked by the innocuous

scent of menthol cigarettes mixed with sweat,

the bare bones

of bodies

to go alight, 

to stay unaccounted for.

[megalony]

You're Not Leaving

As promised, this is my new Dark! Evan Buckley imagine, requested by anon. Thank you for this idea I loved it and any dark Evan requests I'll happily try and write them. Let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @gillybear17 @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Dark! Evan Buckley Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: (Y/n) tries to walk away from Evan, she knows his obsessive nature is out of control. But after a drunken night, she finds her way back to him and realises leaving a second time isn't going to be easy.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you want, pal? You've been following me for the last five blocks."

Simon turned to look over his shoulder, hunching his shoulders up as his lips crinkled in distaste and panic.

Who was this guy? Why had he been following Simon since he left that bar? If he was looking for a hook-up, he had the wrong person in mind. And if he was looking for a fight, Simon wasn't the type to go round brawling with strangers.

It didn't help that the moon was barely visible behind the shimmering clouds and the street lights were as dim and helpful as a single match.

The man continued to stalk over until he was one foot away from Simon. He had broad shoulders that seemed to expand for miles and his arms were almost ripping through the thick denim jacket he wore that wouldn't even button up around his chest, he was that heavily built.

He had a heavy frame that made his shoes bash and stomp against the pavement, announcing his presence to anyone within listening distance. His hands were stuffed into his jean pockets. His face was freshly shaven, giving him a youthful look and his hair was perfectly cut into short strands that were just starting to curl and crimp at the ends. He didn't look as if the midnight air toussled his hair or touched him at all.

His eyes were the worrying factor. Simon couldn't tell what colour they would have been in the bright midday sun. But here in the darkness of the clouds, the man's eyes were raven black with tiny, glimmering flecks of white like miniture moons captured within each eye.

He looked manic.

"I want to give you a warning." His voice was smooth like velvet, with just a tiny frayed edging to it that cut through the air as sharp as a blade.

He took a step closer, hunching his shoulders higher and tilting his head down due to the height difference. The stranger was easily over six foot and he towered over Simon like a bad omen of death, here to take him down to the underworld.

"What?"

"You need to leave (Y/n) alone."

(Y/n).

The girl Simon had just been on a date with? The girl he had just parted ways with at the bar only ten minutes ago?

Why would this stranger need to give Simon a warning about (Y/n)? Why was he warding him away from her?

She was the one who had asked Simon out again tonight. They met in a cafe two weeks ago, went on a date last week and had been on a second date tonight. She was the shy type. The type of girl who had her face buried in a book and her soul hidden behind protective layers that took time to scrape through and see the girl hiding beneath. Who was this man, to her?

"I don't understand-"

"Then I'll simplify." Evan latched his fingers around Simon's throat before he could finish his sentence. He dug his short nails into his neck, pinched his thumb over his pulse so he could feel the artery in his neck throb and ignite with panic.

His left arm moved to pin across Simon's lanky, thin chest and with very little effort, Evan shoved him back against the brick wall behind him.

He squeezed his throat just tight enough to have tears welling up in his eyes and cause his lips to part in panic. He struggled for breath, gurgling and gasping as Evan pinched his throat so he only had partial use over his airways. He needed him frightened and compliant. He needed Simon to listen to what he was going to tell him and to heed his warning carefully.

"On your next date with (Y/n), you tell her you don't wanna be with someone like her. She's not your type. And you leave her the fuck alone."

"W-why?" Simon's voice was nothing but a gargle, a cat mewling in the midnight air. Begging for someone to walk past and see this altercation and help him. To get this freaked stranger off him before he crushed his windpipe or strangled him to death.

"Because she's mine."

Those three little words were as dangerous as a gun being aimed in his face. They were fire and ice, life and death, sun and moon all combined together in one big combustion.

(Y/n) was his. She was Evan's girl.

And he didn't care if she instagated this date or not, another one wasn't going to happen. He wasn't allowing this guy to take his girl away from him.

She wanted a break. She took a step back from her relationship with Evan, but he knew she would come running back to him when she realised how deeply he loved her and what their relationship meant to them both. She walked out of their flat and had been living with a friend. She didn't know Evan was still checking on her, making sure she was okay, that she got home from work safely, that she wasn't meeting strangers and getting herself into trouble.

He had left everything in their flat the way it was, he didn't move her clothes or their pictures or her hairbrush or anything in the bathroom. He was wating for her to come back. She hadn't taken a lot of her stuff with her and she hadn't come back for the rest yet, clearly she wasn't finished with their relationship like she pretended she was.

"After you break things off, I don't want you near her again. If you so much as look at my girl… well, I'll have to get creative."

The smile that formed on Evan's lips was more than frightening, more than sinister and much worse than pure terror.

(Y/n) was Evan's girl; his one and only. She was the one for him and he wouldn't have anyone else trying to hurt her or take her away from him. This guy needed to stay away from her for his own sake, or Evan would have to take more drastic action to make him pay attention to the rules laid out before him.

When Simon started to bash his hand down on Evan's wrist and then his elbow to try and gain some air, Evan obliged. He loosened his grip enough to let strangled gurgles leave Simon's lips as he gasped for breath.

"Understand?"

"Y-you're derranged-"

With a shake of his head and a chiding click of his tongue, Evan grabbed the hand that was about to land a very frail attempt at a punch on his jaw. In one swift motion, Evan bent his index and middle finger back until the tips of his fingers were touching the back of his hand, earning a howl from Simon at the same time as a sickening crunch tore through the air.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes! Fuck! Yes, j-just let me go." Tears drenched Simon's face as he pleaded and nodded his head until his neck ached and felt like his head was going to drop off.

He understood. He was listening. He knew his orders. He would stay the Hell away from (Y/n) if this guy was going to be hovering around her like a bad omen. He would stay away from her. He didn't need this kind of trouble and he wasn't getting involved in whatever mess she had going on here. This unfinished business had nothing to do with Simon. He wanted nothing to do with it.

Evan said nothing, but his smile was satisfactory. He took two steps back and watched with a grin as Simon slumped down to his knees like he was praying to the Devil himself.

He seemed to have learned his lesson.

Now all Evan had to do was stand back and wait. He knew (Y/n) like the back of his hand. She would come back to him in no time, and he would be waiting.

***

Swaying on her feet, (Y/n) leaned forward until her left shoulder banged into the familiar doorframe. Her right hand wavered and made the keychain hooked on her thumb jingle out a strange tune.

She tried her best to fiddle with the keys, but the chain wouldn't unhook from her thumb and her nimble fingers were trembling too harshly for her to find the right key. She had too many on the chain. Why did she even keep the key for the apartment in the first place?

This wasn't her home anymore.

She hadn't been back here in almost a month. She hadn't stepped foot inside, not to collect her clothes or her books or her jewellery or the little nicnacs she had made and was rather proud of. (Y/n) was too afraid to come back and bump into Evan in the process. He would make it harder to leave, and walking out with a small bag of clothes had been the hardest thing she had ever done in the beginning.

A groan tumbled past her lips and she slumped her forehead onto the cold wood, relishing in the way it cooled down her burning skin and relieved the headache pounding in her temple.

The chain finally unhooked from her thumb and when the metal sang as it collided with the floor, (Y/n) bashed her hand limply against the door.

"Evan?" His name trembled past her lips like a song she was too afraid to sing in fear of the consequences it would ensnare.

Evan loves you. That's why you're here right now. He's going to take care of you.

It was all (Y/n) could process.

If she wasn't drunk to the point of passing out, (Y/n) wouldn't have come back here to the place that still felt like home. The place she had moved into after only two months of dating Evan.

If she weren't drunk as a skunk, (Y/n) would have told herself some cold, hard truths that would make her turn around and go home.

Evan is obsessive.

He checks your phone. He won't let you go out alone without him. He won't let you take a phone call in another room.

He needs an exact schedule of your day, your week, your month so he knows every movement you make. Keeping you safe is his priority, but smothering you is the cost that comes with it.

He thinks you're the one for him and if you leave, the world will end. He is always anxious about you leaving him, it fuels the fire burning inside him and makes him controlling.

Give me your phone! Where are you going? Why don't you want me to go with you? Why won't you tell me where you're going? Can't you see I need to look after you? I need to keep you safe! Too many people get hurt in this world and I have to protect you. I can't let you leave. Why won't you let me look after you? Where are you going?!

The alcohol blocked out all of those thoughts. The vodka made them blurry, the shot of whiskey watered them down. The cocktails turned them into sludge and washed them along the river. Everything drained out of her head until the only thing left was the one truth (Y/n) could conceive. Evan loved her, and she needed some love tonight.

"(Y/n)- hey, you okay?"

When the door opened, (Y/n) didn't realise how much weight she had leaned onto the door, or how heavy her head was. Until the door opened and her body slumped forward like a pendulum.

A broken gasp broke past her lips but her head met with a hard, familiar chest that smelled like leather and pine. Her wet lips pressed into a cotton shirt that felt like the softest cloud beneath her skin and she almost started to kiss it. Her arms curled around a familiar waist that was broad and large and stocky. Her very own weighted comfort.

A large hand softly planted down on her back between her shoulder blades and the chest took all of her weight for her as if she weighed nothing more than a bag of sugar.

"Hi,"

It was clear the moment (Y/n) tilted her head back and pressed her chin into Evan's chest that she was drunk. Her eyelids were halfway over her eyes which were blown wide with pupils that were dancing around like stars. Her lips spread into a wide, lopsided grin and the soft, laboured breaths she took showed how drunk she had gotten tonight.

Saying nothing, Evan pressed his lips to the top of her head and let go of the doorframe so he could take a step back. He kept his arm curved around her waist and let her slump against him and stumble inside their flat.

Once the door was closed, Evan made quick work of bolting it shut and drawing the chain across before he looked down at the girl in his arm who melted his heart.

"Are you okay?" Evan's voice was as soft as melted butter and it made heat rise to (Y/n)'s cheeks and had her smile turning cheeky and flushed and embarrassed.

He did care. Evan was the only person in the world who cared about her. The only person she could rely on, despite his obsessive, protective tendencies that frightened her. What was fear compared to the love he made her feel?

"Can I stay with you? I d- I don't wanna be alone… or with Lacey." (Y/n) hiccupped through her words but her arms tightened around Evan's waist until he took a sharp breath. His eyes were enamoured by her and he took the time to drink in every inch of her that he could. He drank in her plump lips that looked even softer and thicker than the last time he kissed them. He was having withdrawal symptoms every day just thinking about those lips.

He raked his eyes over the dress she was wearing. Dark blue. His favourite colour. Did she dress up just for him? Did she know that off the shoulder look was going to aggravate him into wanting to rip that material off her arms and ravage her right here in the hall?

Did she know that it started to flutter around her thighs and stick to them when she started to sweat? Did she know not wearing any tights just gave Evan a better view of her plump thighs that he wanted to lay between until the world ended?

(Y/n) didn't want to go back to Lacey's apartment where she had been staying since she left Evan.

She didn't want to go there where her friend would already be in bed and she would be alone with her thoughts and the drowning knowledge that nobody wanted her. Simon broke it off with her. Two dates was all it took for him to say she wasn't his type. She seemed clingy. He couldn't get into another relationship right now. He wasn't ready for that. For her.

The only place (Y/n) could think to go that would make her feel comforted and loved was here. Her old home, with Evan. With someone who worshipped the ground she walked on and would love her like she depended on him to breathe.

"Then you'd better come in." Evan's voice was comforting and quiet and rolled in one ear and out the other, but in a good way.

He slid her bag off her shoulder and slung it on the second hook on the wall that still had her denim jacket and her raincoat hung up. He curved his arm tight around her waist and dug his fingers lovingly into her hip while he leant down and slid her high heels off her aching feet.

When she got drunk, her mind would wander. She sought the reassurance she couldn't get the courage to find when she was sober. She clung to Evan like her world, her life, depended on him. She kissed him and attached herself to him and became clingy and needy in such a way that made Evan feel like he had taken a dose of ecstasy and was on top of the world.

He knew he was needed when she clung to him and kissed him and ravaged him and begged him to tell her everything was okay. To tell her that he loved her.

He guided her towards the kitchen until (Y/n) turned to face him.

Her arms bound tight around his waist until her hands were on his upper back and he could feel her nails scratching through his shirt. She tilted her head down and suddenly smothered her face into the centre of his chest, squishing her nose against his sternum and fanning her hot breaths against his skin that was getting flushed already.

"Missed you." She murmured softly into his chest, so quiet that Evan almost missed the words. But they made him grin.

Simon had done as Evan had asked. (Y/n) had come back to him. Evan wasn't going to let her leave again.

"I missed you too, baby."

Evan kept his right arm around (Y/n)'s waist and moved his left hand to cup the back of her neck. His head tilted down until his lips and nose were smothered in her hair and he breathed in the scent of her lemon shampoo that drove him wild.

He swayed them both from side to side, feeling the way (Y/n) grinned into his shirt and he was sure she was starting to kiss his chest too.

"Don't wanna be alone…" Her voice was as quiet as the evening breeze drifting by outside. And Evan felt each word vibrate through his chest and into his heart. She knew he would never let her be alone. He would always look after her and shower her with love and show her exactly how much she meant to him.

That was why she was here. She was here because she didn't have the strength or the willpower to stay away now she was drunk. Her defences were down and she couldn't fight herself to stay away from Evan. She wanted to be loved and Evan was more than ready to do that for her.

"You're home now, you're not gonna be alone."

Moving his hand around from her neck to her face, Evan gently pinched her chin between his thumb and finger and lifted her head up from his chest. He wanted to see her. He wanted to look down into her eyes and see the stars that twinkled within them. He wanted her to look at him like she always used to; with love and adoration and wanting.

His thumb brushed across her lower lip and he tugged it down, noticing the dark patch in the corner where she had anxiously bitten a layer of skin off.

He couldn't resist any longer. He crashed his lips down against hers, tasting the infusion of vodka, whiskey and all sorts of alcoholic combinations on her sweet lips. His tongue battled against hers, winning the fight easily and stealing the gasp she elicited into his mouth.

His fingers crushed down around her hip as if making sure she wasn't a figment of his imagination trying to tease him.

Their lips parted for all of a second, just enough for (Y/n) to draw in a sharp breath to push away the dizziness in the front of her mind. And then his lips were back on hers, savouring her taste, drinking her in, swallowing her whole and consuming every inch of her that he could get.

When he walked her back, (Y/n) stumbled along, letting him drive her in any direction he wanted until her back collided with the kitchen wall.

A groan bubbled up in her chest but Evan swallowed it down, crashing his teeth against her lower lip until the metallic taste of iron trickled onto both their tongues.

Her heels scraped against the floor to keep herself upright and a dull ache throbbed in her shoulders and the back of her head when Evan kept her head tilted back and pushed into the wall. But he kept her pinned in place with his hard chest that collided with hers and crushed her between him and the wall.

His fingers roughly let go of her chin to glide back round and cup the back of her neck, curling his fingers into her hair so he could give a sharp tug and tilt her head up to be more at his level.

(Y/n) finally found some control over her limbs and wiggled her arms out from around Evan's chest so she could loop them around his neck instead. Her fingers dragged over the back of his neck and raked up, scratching against his skin until she felt him shivering against her and groaning into her mouth.

"Evan…"

She wasn't sure what she was asking him or trying to convey, but it didn't really matter. Evan seemed to have complete control and (Y/n) was more than willing to surrender to him.

Her heart rocketed in her chest and she felt adrenaline pooling in her stomach and travelling down her limbs when his hands moved. He let go of her neck but the way his chin pressed into hers kept her head tilted at just the angle he needed her in to keep devouring and biting her lips.

One hand travelled down until his fingers were splayed out in the middle of her back, pressing her chest fully against his so there wasn't even a membrane of space between them. But it was his other hand that (Y/n) started to focus on. His fingers scrunched up in the hem of her dress that had already ridden up her legs and became glued to her thighs.

With one sharp tug, Evan raked her dress up over her thighs until it was bunched over her hips, exposing her black laced underwear.

She gasped for air when Evan finally released her sore, bruising lips and though her fingers stayed curled around the back of his neck, she watched him tilt his head down. His chin pressed into his chest and his head leaned to the right so he could get a look at the underwear she was wearing.

The smile that formed on his lips was devilish and made his blue eyes darken three shades.

He hooked a finger into the lace and pulled it back, watching with glee as it snapped into (Y/n)'s hip and made her jump forward against him.

"Come're." His growl made (Y/n)'s knees go weak and she could feel herself about to slide down against him into a puddle on the floor. But his hand secured around the back of her thigh, dangerously close to her underwear and he gave a sharp pull. He lifted her leg until she hooked it over his hip and when he pulled, (Y/n) took the hint.

She lifted her right leg over his other hip and let him hoist her up onto his torso. Her arms bound tighter around his neck and she took the opportunity to smother her face against his neck while his fingers dug deeply into her thighs which would leave bruises in his wake in the morning.

(Y/n) let her hazy eyes fall closed and breathed in Evan's scent that felt like another wave of alcohol washing over her, intoxicating her to the max. Her wet lips started to create hollow kisses up and down from his shoulder up towards his jaw. And when she grazed her teeth over his skin, a dark hum vibrated through Evan's chest and made her stomach jolt.

She realised he was walking out of the kitchen and he lifted her higher on his hips so he could make quick work of climbing the stairs.

(Y/n)'s head started to spin and she opened her eyes, watching the light fixture spin in clockwise circles above her when Evan laid her down on the bed. The alcohol was starting to take a different kind of effect. She didn't want to keep her eyes open but the room continued to spin even when she closed them.

She could feel her hands trembling against the back of Evan's neck and she clung to him tighter, breathing through her nose to clear her head.

She almost whimpered when he unhooked her hands from his neck and started to retreat down her body. She thought he was leaving her. Maybe Evan thought she was too drunk and was going to let her sleep it off.

Electric sparks flickered through (Y/n)'s thighs when Evan laid on his chest between her legs and started to place open-mouthed kisses along her inner thighs. She felt his fingers hook into the top of her underwear and her head spun faster when he slowly dragged them down her thighs and flung them somewhere in the room.

"I'm glad you came back, baby." Evan was more than glad, more than relieved, more than grateful that she was back.

And he wasn't going to let her leave again.

***

Oh God, what had she done?

(Y/n)'s limbs felt like bars of gold when she brought a hand up to rub across her eyes and try to open them properly. She was thankful for the blackout blinds in the bedroom. They stopped the light from blinding her this morning and showing off her shame.

She could feel her heart rocketing up into her throat, closing off her airways when she looked down at her chest.

It wasn't a dream. Nor was it a vague memory. She had slept with Evan last night. The proof was Evan himself, wrapped around her like a blanket.

His head was laid comfortably in the middle of her chest, his nose tickling her skin and his sandy curls swept across her collar bone. He had both arms curled around her like she was a teddy he was clinging to in his sleep and his body was resting comfortably between her legs. Well, Evan seemed comfy. (Y/n), on the other hand, was aching. Her hips were bent outwards to accommodate him resting between her legs and from how stiff her joints felt and how accustomed she now felt to him laying on her, (Y/n) guessed they had been like this all night.

She didn't mean for this to happen.

(Y/n) didn't want to end up in bed with him like this. It wasn't what she planned. Hell, she didn't even plan to go back home with Simon after the date they were supposed to have last night.

Crawling back into bed with Evan only made this sticky situation worse because it made it that much harder for (Y/n) to walk away from him for good.

(Y/n) dropped her hand from her face and let her palm rest on Evan's shoulder and the touch made him groan into her bare chest.

He was always a light sleeper. (Y/n) could never walk out on Evan during the night because he woke at the slightest sound. If she moved in bed, his arm would suddenly secure around her and bind her to him like fate keeping them together. If she tried to get up before him, he would wake up and pin her down to the bed.

Trying to make a quiet exit this morning would be impossible with him laid on her like this, and something told (Y/n) this was part of the plan.

"Morning." Evan's rough, gritty voice sent shockwaves through (Y/n)'s system and woke her up immediately.

She stayed perfectly still as Evan moved his arms so his hands were planted down on the mattress either side of her arms and he turned his head to kiss her collar bone delicately. His lips worked their way up her skin, making their own path along her neck as he crawled up her body and hovered over her.

Hovering over her like this allowed (Y/n) to take a proper breath, but it also let her feel every ache and bruise she now had. Her shoulders were tense, her thighs were aching and surely bruised and she didn't want to look and see what marks Evan had left down her neck and across her chest.

"Here, take these for the headache."

(Y/n) didn't see him move and she stayed still as Evan pecked her lips and dropped a packet of painkillers on the pillow beside her from his bedside drawer. He knew exactly how rough she would be feeling and she figured she didn't look her best self either.

Her eyes followed him as he slowly climbed off her, shrugging on his boxers before he headed downstairs to the bathroom.

She didn't want to move. Her head was still pounding and when she sat up, the room tilted at an angle and sent her head swaying from left to right.

She had to leave.

(Y/n) had to be quick and leave the room before Evan managed to keep her here. He was the kind of person to pin her to the bed and distract her or he would wrap around her and sweet-talk her until she gave in and stayed here with him.

It was for her own safety that she had to leave.

Her legs trembled when she slumped off the bed and took a look around. Wearing last night's clothes wasn't an option today. (Y/n) had no idea where Evan had thrown her bra or underwear last night. And when she leaned down and picked up her dress, her lips pressed into a thin line and she dropped the material back down to the floor.

Evan had ripped it. As she tried to think back, (Y/n) had a vague memory of his hands roughly yanking the straps off her arms and tugging it down her waist. If she closed her eyes, she could hear the material shredding and the threads pulling apart.

"Thanks, Evan." She huffed to herself and shuffled towards the wardrobe in the corner of the room.

Everything was still in its place. (Y/n) thought Evan would have bagged everything up when she walked out. She thought he would have binned her things or bagged them so she could come and get them later. But she should have realised he wouldn't move anything. He wouldn't get rid of her things because Evan wanted her to come home, he would leave everything as it was because he didn't take no for an answer and he didn't believe their relationship was over.

In haste to try and make a quick escape, (Y/n) shrugged on some underwear, a bra, a pair of jogging bottoms and one of Evan's shirts. Somehow, despite all of her clothes staring her right in the face, she picked Evan's attire.

It's easier. It's quicker. Getting dressed in his clothes was quicker than fiddling with one of her shirts or dresses or fighting with a pair of tight jeans.

Her hands shook and her head pounded as she ignored the painkillers Evan had found for her and hurried down the stairs. Her eyes cast around the room to try and find her purse. She wasn't sure where she left it last night, or where her shoes were. Walking home in high heels was going to be a killer.

"What's the rush?"

His voice rattled (Y/n) down to her core and she spun on her heels to find Evan stood leaning against the wall in the hallway.

"I- Evan I'm sorry… I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have come round last night-"

"Yes you should. You came home."

She couldn't help but cringe at his words. Technically, (Y/n) did come home. This was her old home. This was the only home she had so far, she hadn't gotten around to taking her name off this flat. Her post still came here, her job still thought this was her address and she hadn't found a new place to rent on her own.

But (Y/n) couldn't stay here. She couldn't get back into this predicament of telling Evan where she went every time she had to leave the flat. She couldn't handle the constant messages and calls and how he would glare and push her behind him if anyone tried to talk to her that he didn't know.

She couldn't handle his obsessive nature that was getting out of control. She turned into his possession instead of his partner. She felt like someone under twenty four hour observation who couldn't take one step out the flat without Evan knowing where she was going and who she was going to be with.

"I'm gonna go-"

"No, baby, you're not. You're not going anywhere, you need to stay with me."

Evan moved within the blink of an eye and a croaky gasp left (Y/n)'s lips when his hands found her waist and her back suddenly hit the wall. Her eyes snapped closed and she couldn't bite back her whimper when her already aching body pinned into the wall.

"Evan I can't." Her voice was feeble and she knew he didn't believe or listen to her words. And when his lips attached to the side of her neck, (Y/n) pushed her arms into his chest and scrambled out of his grasp towards the door.

It was locked. Her fingers shook as she unhooked the chain across the top of the door but when she flung her hand in the dish on the side cabinet, she froze. The keys weren't there. Evan always kept his keys in the dish so if he had to leave in an emergency or for a last minute shift, he could always get out on time and as fast as possible.

Where were her keys? She still had her key to the flat on her keys- oh no. She dropped them last night. She didn't unlock the door, Evan had unlocked it last night to let her in.

"Where are the keys? W-where's my bag?" (Y/n) darted her eyes around the hallway but she could feel her heart dropping down to her stomach like a stone sinking into a lake.

She couldn't see her bag, she knew she had come over with her bag because it held her phone, her purse, her ID, her work ID badge. Everything important was in that bag and she had it on her last night when she went out. She must have come over here with it. She knew she did. What was Evan up to? What was he doing?

"Evan… what are you doing?" She was almost too afraid to ask.

Her eyes followed him as he pushed off the wall, dragging one rough hand across his lips and down his chin and jaw. The action was so slow and methodical that (Y/n) couldn't help but shiver. She watched him stalk closer to her, his hair askew in all directions, his muscles tense and free on display. The only piece of clothing on him being the boxers hanging dangerously low on his hips.

"I told you you're not leaving." Evan's hand was unusually soft as it curled around her upper arm and he slowly dragged her away from the door. "The only way that door will open, is if this relationship is patched up again. Otherwise, you're staying exactly where I can see you."

Bile rose in the back of (Y/n)'s throat and she shuddered as his words started to sink in.

He wasn't going to let her leave.

He had locked the door and hidden the keys. He had plugged her bag away somewhere in the flat so she couldn't find her phone and call for help. Their apartment was on the fifth floor, (Y/n) couldn't climb out the bedroom window or get out onto the balcony and find her way down to the ground without risking her life.

The only way she could leave was by finding the keys and risking making a break for it. Or by agreeing to work things out and getting back into a relationship with Evan.

(Y/n) took a step back but when Evan stalked closer, he looked just like a demon coming to claim her soul. The light from the balcony windows shone across on him and created a halo of light around him while his face and chest basked in darkness.

He advanced towards her, following her as she moved past the kitchen and stumbled into the living room. Her eyes swept around frantically, trying to search for anything she could use to either defend herself or break the lock on the front door to get out. But all she could focus on was the photos littering the apartment.

Dozens of them. Evan with his arms wrapped around her. (Y/n)'s cheesy smile as Evan rested his chin on top of her head due to their height difference. A picture of them both with Chris and Eddie on a day out to the zoo. A picture of them at Christmas. One of them with the team at the summer party a couple of months back.

Each photo showed how strange their relationship could twist. In half the photos on the walls, Evan simply had an arm around (Y/n) or his hand on her back. But in others, he was wrapped tightly around her like a predator trying to squeeze the life out of her and keep her safe and secured to him. No one else would be able to notice, but (Y/n) could tell which photos showed Evan in one of his manic moods.

His eyes always gave it away.

"Evan… baby, please don't do this. I was wrong to come over last night… I stayed the night and I hurt you-" (Y/n) cut herself off when she saw the way Evan's expression changed.

"You came home. Come on (Y/n) you admitted you missed me and I know you still love me. Let's talk."

Biting her lip, (Y/n) found herself nodding and she backed up towards the sofa and slumped down just as her trembling knees started to give way beneath her. She coiled her arms to her chest and flopped her head back on the sofa, but her heartbeat quickened when Evan sat down next to her.

He sat so close that their knees were touching and when he laid a hand on her thigh, she didn't have the nerve to pull away.

The way he tipped his head back so casually almost made (Y/n) feel like they had gone back in time to when they first bought this flat almost half a year ago. Back when (Y/n) didn't feel like she was smothered, like she was someone's possession and when she thought Evan's expressions of love were the best things in the world and life couldn't get any better.

"I never said I didn't love you," (Y/n) spoke quietly, her eyes focusing down on her hands that stayed rigid and frozen on her lap.

Her words seemed to have the opposite effect, although (Y/n) wasn't sure what kind of effect she was hoping for. But his hand on her thigh wasn't it. She felt like shrinking back and disappearing, but her body stayed motionless even as Evan leaned closer until his face was inches from hers.

"I want you to stay." He spoke as if (Y/n) didn't know that. She knew he wanted her to stay here, stay home, stay with him. The locked door gave that message away loud and clear. "You belong with me, you know I love you and I'd do anything for you. Anything."

Anything but let her go.

His lips attached to the side of her neck and when his chest merged with hers, (Y/n) couldn't stop him from leaning his weight onto her. She let him carefully push her back into the sofa and pin his hands near her head and the other next to her hip. Caging her in beneath him. Binding her to him.

"Tell me you'll stay. Tell me you'll come home to me." His words sounded like a command, something (Y/n) didn't want to disobey in fear of how he would react if she said no.

What choice did she have? She couldn't leave if she didn't agree, Evan wouldn't let her. She couldn't say yes and then disappear, Evan would find her. She couldn't start a new life without him, he wouldn't allow it to happen. And no one else seemed to want to be around her or in a relationship with her.

Evan did. He was here, he loved her, although he loved her far too much for his or her own good, he still loved her unconditionally.

When he worked his way up to her lips and stole a gentle, tepid kiss, (Y/n) watched his face hover over hers. She locked her eyes onto his blue orbs and felt his nose nudge against hers. She felt his breaths entwining with hers, his lips tickling hers as they barely touched, barely parted. His fingers dug into her waist. His chest pressed down on hers, his heart beating rapidly in tandem with hers.

"Tell me," He murmured against her lips, stealing another kiss. Then another, and another until (Y/n) felt positively drunk again and she couldn't think straight.

"I'll stay."

[randomspagetti]

[Light & Regrets] (Curse!Au)

[Chapters] (Next)

I LIED! muahahaha this was actually a plot to put five pages out! But yeah anyway-

Some things I wanna address rq:

-GODDAMN, I did not realize how ashy Choco and Cacao were. I use a really dark screen to conserve battery so I guess I never picked that up 😭

-This is not excusing Cacao's actions as a parent. I feel like this has to be addressed given some Cacao Apologists. I am a Cacao Apologist, but torwards the stuff with his kingdom. Not his son. Choco was severely neglected, end of story.

Don't get me wrong I love Cacao, but I feel like devoiding him of blame takes away his character. He's made a lot of mistakes, and I feel it just makes him more realistic. I do usually hc him with a terrible childhood/past, and that affected how he raised his son, but it's in no way an excuse or used to lighten his actions. In this comic I've tried to show that and will continue to do so through the story. Just had to get that one out there.

Anyways- haha no twink pv for you. He's oldd (just like they all are)

You may notice the change in some things. My art will change from comic to comic and how I draw them as I evolve. This comic is a testament to how my art will grow and change as I do.

[robo-milky]

“Hey, Carrots!

No need to look so offended, I’m not here to cause any trouble, you know~. No favors to ask of either. It’s your special day, isn’t it? It is! So I came by to give you a present.

…Yeah, okay, it’s not really much, but it’s a gift nonetheless. Coupon for a special pop for the birthday girl~. You have a favorite flavor or something? I’ll try making it into a pop for you. A dozen for free! I’m real kind, I know.

Oh, and before I forgot. You know Ashi, don’t you? Poor girl couldn’t make it today, so she asked me to hand you a gift bag in her stead. Proves my trustworthiness, doesn’t it? Heh.

No need to worry, I didn’t peek at it… Hold some higher standards for me, would you?”

Niko hands over the bag. It’s a cute, pink, petite bag with cat decorations on it. It holds some resemblance to the feline holding it herself.

Grabbing what’s inside, there’s a little drawing with a note attached. It’s written with words and symbols that seem impossible to verbalize, but somehow it’s easy to imagine a certain brunette bringing life to them…

Clochey! HBD fam!~ Super bummed I couldn’t make it, but I hope this prezzie has enough of my energy baked into it that it feels like I’m there! LMK ASAP ☆

I wanted to send you a cute lil’ message ‘cuz I’m real thankful for us being friends, YK? Even tho we aren’t super buddy buddy, I still totally enjoy your company. Eppy tells me enough about you that it basically feels like I’m hanging with you myself!

Anyway~ I wanted to gift smth more personalized for you, so I drew up a little drawing! It’s kinda like a postcard, but I tried putting one of your fave things on it ♡ I hope you enjoy!~

We should SO get talkin’ again soonsies! Wishin you a happy birthday and many more with a certain huntsman <3

Sincerely, Ashi ♪

Cloche hears a chuckle after she’s done reading the note.

“Wow, Carrots, your face is a little red… Wonder what Ashi stirred up for you to get you, the cold clawed kitty to get lookin’ like that. Well, privacy is privacy. Guess that’s my cue to leave.

Here’s hoping you catch a break from all the trouble around campus, hm? Enjoy your day~.”

HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DAY AND WEEK AND TBH MONTH IS SO BANGER. ITS SO DESERVED!!!!!!! 🫶 it’s been SO nice being your moot for like?? WHAT??? TWO YEARS OR SMTH??? TIME IS SO CRAZY. it’s been such a treat being able to interact n talk w you since the beginning!!! I GET SUPER HAPPY WHENEVER I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS <333 HBD again and I hope life treats you well!!!!! 🙏 blessing your pulls and turning them into pomepulls……….. tehepero

[Cloche’ Birthday Bash] *them referring to our dear freshmen

Okay first of all… ASHIIIIIII YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME I SWEAR !!! THE FACT THAT YOU SENT THIS SO EARLY??!?! THE INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING! I JUST LOVE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT SO NATURALLY- Fr, Niko just waltzing into Ramshackle then dipping- aND THE GORGEOUS GORGEOUS ROOKLOCHE ART- LITERALLY SCREAMING OVER THE POSE AND DETAILS- YOU SERIOUSLY OUT DID YOURSELF FOR THIS ONE! Rook carrying her and Cloche grabbing on to him to get closer- SAVANACLAW ROOK MY BELOVED- Muscle man frrrr- Ashi really caught on to the cat maid’s staring during Chapter 7 huh. AND THE DOODLES ON RHE SIDES ARE TOO CUTE- 😩

Epel yapping on about Cloche and totally not suspiciously asking Ashi about her roommate- Ashi internally sweating bullets when Epel doesn’t realize that everything he describes is the cat maid making up excuses to avoid him-

Also take this… Cloche walking up to Niko days later and asking for a bone marrow pop, and it takes Niko a few seconds to realize it was a joke 😭😭 Slow burn friendship trust-

Really, it’s so wild that it’s been 2 years- So glad to have you here and to celebrate with you again !! I think you really blessed my pome pulls with this one- seriously- man came on the 30th pull twice- Ilyyyyy If makes me super happy to see you in my notifs as well and may we continue to interact in the future!