#it was only a half success
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I have this tea cup I made in highschool (it’s really cute and was designed more like those Japanese ones without a handle than it was those fancy English style with even more elements to them) but I never actually asked if the glaze we used was food safe (we all used the same glaze on those cups specifically because the teacher glazed those ones in particular and I don’t remember checking. I glazed and painted every other project but only one of them was something you would use for food and that thing broke a few years ago and was honestly more decorative) and this has haunted me ever since. It’s a super cute cup and I adore it, but I have no idea if I can use it for its intended purpose and while I could buy a lead testing kit I’m not sure how I would check for anything else that might have been in that glaze. I know the color used but not the brand, so that’s not really a help either. The teacher I had left the district after that year because our school district paid art teachers a shit wage and we rotated through them like elementary school kids needing new shoes every year. I’m not entirely sure how I would contact her, but even if I did track her down (something not entirely impossible from what I know about her life outside of teaching us for a year, I would feel slightly weird about it though, even though she was my favorite art teacher) but I highly doubt she would remember something like the glaze she used on one project her students made at a school she taught at for one year. I’m not sure what other testing kits I would need besides lead to confidently say it’s safe enough for my personal use, and it’s annoyed me for several years now.
#emma posts#it was peacock. peacock green I believe#and do you have any idea how many brands produce a peacock named glaze?#I could maybe narrow it down by looking for one that tended to be more forest green to dark blue#but that’s not really a great way to get a definitive answer#I also wish i could make more ceramic stuff right now! I’ve been hooked ever since yhat class#polymer clay sculpting isn’t quite the same (though better than nothing) and air dry clay often feels crumbly#neither of those could be used for cups and stuff#but even just making clay sculptures (my favorite) hits different with clay#I miss the smell and the feel and the way it worked#the closest I’ve gotten to the experience was digging up clay near my parents house and trying to fire it in the bonfire#it was only a half success#I tried to learn how ancient people made stone wear with raw clay and other materials added#but i just can’t seem to fire it the same way and it ends up slightly ashy on the surface from the soot#it’s also a bit more prone to cracking and I know I can’t expect the same as what it’s like working with the good stuff#and I know the clay on the farm is at least decent but not modern quality#also it doesn’t get fired all the way so if I get water on it it starts to dissolve a bit again#I should try to study ancient clay methods#it would be really fun to try to recreate some stuff in the area behind the lilacs#but it isn’t as good as modern clay#I’m getting really side tracked though#art problems#I wish I had an actual studio. I don’t see that happening any time soon though#my dream is to live on one of those houses in the woods north of town and have an art studio and room for more pets and gardens#i don’t think that’s ever gonna happen though#right now I’m just trying to figure out the local buses and stay in government housing#I can’t drive. I dropped out of college because of health problems. I’m living on disability and foodstamps. my health inssues make my#schedule and availability unreliable for a regular schedule#keeping up with the dishes is my worst enemy (aside from everything else)#i just don’t see myself doing much outside of my desk in the corner of my small living room any time soon
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At the end of the day, they're still just little kids making noise outside his office.
#I am unwell#the sibling moments here were so strong and like. its because they've never really grown up. it's a game. king of the hill. kendall loses#and like a little boy he shouts and begs and bullies. but it's time for the grownups to talk now. and he just isn't one. they're all#bullshit. they're not serious people#and romans the only one to even kind of realize that. he's literally dressed like a kid for half the episode. he knows its all fake and tha#means he's the closest to actually moving on#kendall roy#shiv roy#siobhan roy#roman roy#logan roy#succession finale#succession season 4#succession
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Me when Ashton Greymoore is denied honorable and meaningful self-sacrifice, and now must face the reality that they MUST keep living after it’s All Over
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#ashton greymoore#bells hells#cr ashton#like#Tal and Ash were both so clearly ready#for Ashton to sacrifice themselves. and comparing that to Ashton’s backstory#to Ashton being left behind as a sacrifice. and becoming bitter(er) and lonely and denouncing ever growing close to someone again#to meeting letter. and learning from letters. and so much about telling letters not to self sacrifice.#but then letters does. and Ashton is ready to go to. he’s prepared to go out to save everyone#and he was so prepared for that to be where his story ends#but he doesn’t. and not through failure but through success#and now (though more trials still await) they must face the reality they must keep living after it all#and face the reality that they will not survive alone.#that they have come out the other side. alive but changed. but not in some miraculous way.#they are not healed. they did not go out protecting those they loved. and they are forced to contend#with the fact they will continue to walk this earth. as it is changed. but not miraculously fixed. but not sacrificed#and like. Ashton having to contend with the change. that the Thing is over. but they are not alone#they are alive. and have friends and a love. and a world familiar and new to love and learn#that they have a connection to but not an ancient force they are upholden to#that they and the earth will learn together#I’ll be honest only the first half of these tags was planned when I started typing about ash being forced to contend with having to live#having to live despite it all. that there’s no big change. no miracle. good or bad. but you must keep going. and how beautiful that is#for Ashton’s story and just in general for people who would resonate with him#but then like I remembered they’re gonna scare off the gods and so exandria is totally gonna change but like#consider my initial point and how beautiful it is#and how I managed to shoehorn it in to still make sense#babblestar
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let's all think about roman literally on his knees at gerri’s feet, begging to be saved. but you can’t be saved from Logan, that’s the whole point, he is a planet of a person he’s a black hole he is every decision already made. gerri tries to get him to see this — there’s no way out, no move they could possibly make against him, because Logan. always. wins. maybe if roman could give her one reason to fight for him, but there aren’t any. it’s pointless. it has nothing to do with roman, really, and everything to do with the harsh reality that Logan is the center of their universe. but all that nuance is completely lost on roman, because in that room he is seven years old again and always. and when she asks how it serves her interests, what she is saying is show me a way out, but what he hears is that she doesn't care about him. and maybe she never did.
#that was their real relationship shattering moment imo. can’t come back from that one if you never ever talk about it again#succession#romangerri#to be so clear: she cares. she cares so much it makes her look stupid. but she Is her job and that is her priority#but ALso when she says how does it serve my interests. we could also count him as one of her interests.#and how would it serve either of them if she gets fucking decapitated and frozen out and left to die. how could she do ANYTHING from there.#like yes i do think that she is also saying the plain text version of it - how does this benefit me personally. because it sure doesn't#but the power of the unconscious unspoken 'what benefits me includes you' whoooo now that. is crazymaking#if half of your two-person team just got financially and professionally obliterated. i probably would not follow him off that cliff#i think i would probably say wow your son is craaazy i totally support everything you're doing from a business angle.#even if it's a terrible interpersonal move and you WILL die alone.#like she could be (almost) completely honest and still keep his trust and her position. and then he's dead and who's next?#Gerri has a better understanding of Logan's impending death than maybe anybody. ESPECIALLY Logan. easy hill to die on because it is textual#she also doesn't grieve him at all and there are many reasons for that! but i think mostly it's that she saw it coming#only girlie besides tom who understood the concept of succession but like for real#okay done typing now#sp#i love my freakies okay leave me alone
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the most insane thing this year to me is that Tears of the Kingdom came out and was the only thing anyone could talk about and play for months. it was an engineering marvel and made all of us try to figure out how the fuck the programmers did it all. we made giant mechs and could fly across the map. you could glue shit together and hit stuff with it. the goat man was sexy. the world was huge and had three whole layers and a hundred hours of gameplay easy. it was slated to be regarded as one of the best games of all time and sold 18.5 million copies.
and it wasn't game of the year. it barely won anything. and all because of that cunty vampire.
#tears of the kingdom#totk#botw#legend of zelda#loz#loz totk#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#ive pointed this out to several people as the game awards and whatnot were happening#and half the people i talked to FORGOT...... ABOUT TOTK........#THEY FORGOT IT WAS THIS YEAR. IT'S ONLY 7 MONTHS OLD#don't get me wrong it's very refreshing that a smaller and much more niche studio got the recognition and attention it deserved#it's just absolutely crazy that it swept across the board DESPITE a major and VERY successful zelda release#to the point where people FORGOT!!!!!!!!!#mine
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(Sometimes, the best way to express your appreciation for a piece of work is by doing some House of Leaves-shit. This posts features unreality, click the link if you are confused, intrigued or both.)
Source for all images: videography of Marissa Marcel
-------- Sources for the poem: Wikipedia articles used: Sculpture, Carving, Public art, Stone sculpture, Pottery, Glossary of Pottery terms, Resist, Pygmalion (mythology), Galatea (Mythology), Agalmatophilia, History of the nude in art, Nude (art), Book of Genesis, Clay, Clay Tablet. Songs: The Doll People by Sofia Isella, The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives, Catharsis by AlicebanD and Metaphor by The Crane Wives. --------------
#this is VERY different from what i usually post I know. I considered making studies of the screenshots but then it would be too cohesive.#ambrosio#minksy#two of everything#two of every thing#half mermaid#marissa marcel#immortality game#immortality 2022#webweaving#poetry#immortality (2022)#okay ill drop the unreality stuff. PLEASE PLAY THIS GAME ITS SO FUCKING GOOD#im on my hands and knees begging. (i mean mind the content warnings youre not playing a witch in the alps/ref)#webweaving felt like the best way to distill the absolute insanity it wrought in me#i hope i didnt spoil it too much#i just couldnt resist#is this a poem? is this a playlist? Would I have made it a gifset if i had the skill?#And is it technically visiual art enough to post this on this blog and not my personal one?#damn is this a men's bathroom. Because im feeling like Duchamp#EDIT i tried to fix the crunchiness of the gif and had only partial success#gifs are hard how to the gifset makers do it?#anyhoo i did my best.
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Finally.
#cultist simulator#apostle entheate#video games#only took like half a dozen restarts#and the endgame ramp-up is HARROWING#what do you mean i need to summon seven maids in the mirror one after another#(one of them ate Ysabet :[ )#and if you delay more than a short time in between them your witnesses will decay#i consider it relatively well-executed that it only ended up taking me eight#annoyingly both this attempt and the successful minor Lantern run before it had stupid character names because i got tired of restarting
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co-high kings galadriel & celeborn
since elrond doesn't want the kingship, galadriel & celeborn are the eldest in middle-earth of the lines of Olwe and Elmo respectively. olwe is older but hes the king of the teleri not specifically doriath sindar so there might be some dispute between which line the sindarin high kingship jumps to, but they very conveniently happen to already be married and so can skip all that and just be twice the headache for sauron
#silm#silmarillion#galadriel#celeborn#doriath#they picked yellow (like the mallorn leaves) as their accent color in place of melians pink#imagine if this was their backup plan if the aragorn distraction failed#oops the first long-lost heir claiming an ancient kingship wasnt enough to draw saurons attention away from mordor?#how about TWO not-so-long-lost heirs claiming one and a half ancient HIGH KINGSHIPS#now i wonder what would be the plan c after that#elrond agrees to claim the kingship for the good of middle earth and then promptly throws the crown away finrod-style the moment they win?#give arwen the noldorin high king/queenship and a really big dog?#let the twins share?#wait what would be the line of succession for the sindarin kingship if elrond doesnt want it#of the line of olwe galadriels the only one of the grandchildren left in middle earth#celebrian would be next or possibly gildor if hes actually finrods son#of the line of elmo celeborn and possibly thranduil (if oropher is celeborns brother) are still around#celebrian also goes next on this line and legolas on thranduil's side#and cirdan is floating around somewhere in the vague realm of 'kin of thingol'
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TURN YOUR WOLF'S EAR TO ME NOW okay you're listening? i made a jirv playlist. wait where are you going did you hear me i said—
(*rambling about the playlist in tags)
#the terror#john irving#this was mainly because i was going insane#and also because someone said jirv's playlist should've had mumford & sons on it#and also because i saw jezebel iron & wine and i was thinking of the trapeze swinger#so here. it's mostly choices from my liked songs that are inexplicably christian and songs that i've always thought was very gay coded#i tried to put them in a narrative order but also in a way that the music would work together. i think i'm only half successful at both#listen man i love making playlists but i didn't say i was particularly good at it#tell me if you listen to it 👉👈 say hi#Spotify
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You’re definitely also fin
I did once try to make rainbow fire in my backyard for an assignment in hs after my teacher specifically told me not to because it was "too dangerous" or something equally ridiculous...
#quil's queries#nonsie#so make of that what you will#it was half successful but I didn't have all the proper supplies unfortunately#(also for those who need it: no I'm not fin. this is a joke. this is my only blog in the keeper fandom)
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can't believe an actual duck had to literally play cupid for lishu and single-dad basen the mother of jofu
#jofu >>>>>> all the jinmao shippers in the story itself#jinmao-ers learn from jofu and its 100% success rate#only took her like half a chapter#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries#basen#lishu#jofu#light novel#knh text
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the reality is I need to get the hell off of pinterest, because my apartment is lovely and uniquely put together and everyone who enters it compliments it on its decor (yes, yes I am going to hype up my humble, small apartment) and YET I look up after scrolling The Feed and immediately think "I need to change absolutely everything"
#frankly the fact that I've only just now bought a new piece of furniture...#(with everything else being from my childhood bedroom or hand-me-downs from relatives)#...speaks to my decor swag. I got compliments with a horribly abused bar table from my cousin. hashtag success.#HOWEVER my decor is..... penguins heavy. at least half penguins. maybe.#luckily my friends are also mostly pens fans who respect the aesthetic movement I champion (sidcrosbification)
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Sometimes I still can’t help thinking about how Pei Xiu’s revised backstory makes him feel similar to HX (kind talented young man with abysmal luck working his hardest to save his family and things getting worse at every turn. And his family was already dead for years before he found out.)
(And of course the Shi Wudu parallel is still there, sacrificing others to save your loved one)
#except swd is actually successful#tgcf#pei xiu#he xuan#shi wudu#I still prefer the original for banyue childhood friends though#but he is much more sympathetic and tragic and the revised ver#pity he stops being a character after we hear this backstory#but I really wish he had more interactions with the bw arc trio#these thoughts are also going in a peixuan junior direction but I’m still half asleep to think it through#(but also considering he’s only met banyue like 3 times before her death in the revised ver)#(it somehow makes his attachment to her feel even stronger)#(and also makes for a fun parallel with Pei ming and his relationships with xj & ysh)
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powder keg (full under the cut)

#wip success story!!#for a bit there i expected it to be a wip failure but i think we turned it around boys#arcane#arcane jinx#isn't it kinda cool how vi and powder don't. have last names. do vander or silco have last names#this thing has 49 layers and 1 of them is completely unrelated#approximately 8 of them are lineart#so it took 40 layers to color this.......#most of them are hidden too it's cuz i am so indecisive and afraid of messing stuff up so i just duplicate the layers and keep going#this is not a great art philosophy but it is what it is#eyestrain#my eyes got fucking STRAINED while working on this#but i love bright colors </3#the evidence of duplicating layers is in one of my shading layers called Layer5-1-2-1-1-1-1-1-2-2-1 or something like that#i went into overdrive lowkey bc i was like this Has to be finished before arc 3 (uhh very mild act 3/trailer spoilers to follow ig)#bc i Know her look changes and god knows i was NOT gonna erase those braids i painstakingly outlined (over a year ago)#it's the principle of the thing. i basically redrew half of it anyways but only because i could not stand it if i did not#i was already feeling like euhhhhhhhhhh abt the whole composition bc when i originally drew it it was kinda half based#around her league personality#so working on it now felt like it was just. Quite ooc for our current moment in the canon timeline#well. whatever. i think she looks cool enough. character notwithstanding. i just hope she is happy after saturday </3#jinx#jinx league of legends#felt like i should tag that on bc the personality thing lol.... lol#i just went through the jinx tag and reblogged a whole stream of super sentimental and super angsty jinx stuff#and now i am posting what i post best. moderately cool poses and mildly affective expressions :)#my art
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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#it's been in a constantly jostling plastic baggie for like half a day now#AND it just smacked against 2 hard surfaces in succession#sorry theres bigger things to be worrying abt re this update. but i gotta look out for the little guy#<- patently unwell#someone else in the discord said Mayhaps it'll instantly be reborn into bayview's sea and i can only pray for that future#pnat
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