#as you can see i checked out the stamp videos. they are very fun

[taiyotyow]

birdtime

why is fusakin mad

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Yet another average day in Family Video:

"Hey. Remember when you said that you'd totally fuck Jonathan."

"When...? Oh, yeah. What the fuck that was literally a month ago why are you mentioning that now?"

"Because that was the same conversation we decided to get the matching tramp stamps. And trying to hide those from my parents is a literal pain in the ass. Pun fully intended. I can't even sit straight and-"

"I'd say you can't do anything straight"

"Not like I can do anything str- fuck you"

Steve swaggers to the back and takes out the whiteboard they purchased together - on ROBIN'S SUGGESTION may he add.

"Can't believe you're losing in your own game. About bad jokes. And being gay. Which are basically your two only personality traits."

Robin's side is embarrassingly empty. He sees it as cosmic karma for her you-suck-game during their scoops ahoy era.

"Alright mister little bitch"

"And yet, this little bitch is beating you in your own game"

Robin shows him the finger. Steve bites the finger because he is a little shit and things like boundaries and personal space have already lost all meaning between the two of them.

In this moment the front doors open. The elderly man takes one look at the scene before him and leaves without a word.

"Where did the Jonathan thing come from?"

"Dunno. I was bored. Thought it'd be funny to see you go through a gay crisis."

"Not much of a crisis if I already admitted to it."

"You're no fun."

"Really? That was not what my dad said three months ago. According to him I am a fucking joke."

"Coming from Harrington Senior that's honestly a compliment"

"Please remind me of that the next time I radio you at 3 am. Who is on tape duty?"

"I did it last time."

"Alright" Steve nods towards the small pile of romcoms they have pointedly not been reshelving for the last half an hour. "Enjoy your alone time in the romance section."

"Do you think it would be an invasion of privacy if we checked who returned all that? It was either an epic girls night of an awful breakup." Her voice gets fainter as she moves to the back of the store.

"Nah. We're in the land of the free or whatever. Wait, let me do it"

"You're only saying that so you can procrastinate asshole"

"Does that mean you don't want to know who took them? Because I promise you, you really really do."

"Don't ask if you already know the answer dingus"

"Guess"

"Ummm....power bottom."

"What?"

"Like with Jonathan. Would you rather he call the shots or the other way around?"

She makes a series of incomprehensible movements that are probably supposed to represent intercourse between two men.

"This is the reason god made you a lesbian"

"And thank him for that. Amen."

"Why are you so obsessed with Jonathan anyway."

"You're deflecting"

"Yeah sure, I am deflecting. C'mon, Buckley. Resume or later?"

"Who was the one who took all the romcoms?"

"If I tell you, will you tell me what's really going on?"

"Depends on your answer."

"I thought you weren't interested in my sex life? Every time-"

In this moment the door opens again. Two girls come in, arm in arm. One is wearing a look that can only be described as disgust, the other is clearly trying to hold in laughter with moderate success.

Over the course of many painful months of customer service (plus surviving an interrogation by the actual Russian secret service) Steve and Robin have developed the ability to hold entire conversations without speaking a single word. It is a very neat talent to have when they want to make fun of someone right in front of them. It is less neat when he is the target.

Robin raises her brows. C'mon dingus, tell these random ass girls about your sex life since you're so proud of it.

Steve frowns in response. Yeah, sure Mrs. Never Even Had A First Kiss.

Robin narrows her eyes. I did have a first kiss. Even if it was absolutely horrible.

Steve puts on his most insufferable expression. You yourself said that it doesn't count. No need to be so jealous Buckley.

Robin rolls her eyes. Alright, I want to see you trying to find a-

"Do you have ET?", Robin doesn't say because, oh yeah, they've got actual customers.

Steve solemnly informs them that ET is current out of stock, but that it should be returned in two days. Robin somehow manages to force her last two movies upon them. They leave with a dazed look on their face that Steve can relate to. Sometimes Robin will start talking and the next thing you know you have a tramp stamp.

"Tommy Hagan"

Robin looks absolutely disgusted. "Tommy Hagan?! You would kiss Tommy Hagan? And then you have the audacity to make fun of my taste in women?!"

"First of all: me and Hagan? Been there done that." Robin looks as if her entire worldview was just flipped upside down. "Second: probably not, he uses a bit too much tongue for my liking. I mean that Tommy Hagan was the one who rented all the romcoms"

Robin takes a moment to process this information. Then she dramatically falls to the floor and squirms around in laughter like a bug on its back trying to get up again. Truly a drama kid through and through.

"And thirdly: for your information, I super could make out with Jonathan Byers. Unlike you, I've got game"

"You don't mean gay-me?"

Steve rolls his eyes and takes out the whiteboard again. He is still in the lead.

"And also, excuse you, I totally could make out with Nancy if I wanted to, okay?! I'm just not a homewrecker unlike some other people"

"Excuse me? I was the one who was cheated on?!"

"I'm insulting your taste, dingus"

"Rich coming from you, since we apparently share the same one"

For a moment she looks confused. Then she thinks back to what she said. Steve can pinpoint the exact moment she realizes it.

"Is this the reason you want me to be into Jonathan so bad? Because you're into Nancy?" Steve feels like a smug cat when her entire upper body grows red.

"Shut up she's just pretty okay?!"

"And badass. Don't forget badass."

"Oh my god I know. Ever since I saw her shooting I haven't been able to get her out of my mind."

"Right?! And as if that isn't enough, she has to go and be smart too! Like, c'mon, she has to have some faults. Some downsides. Nobody is that prefect!"

"Oh my god I know! And-"

They continue like that for a while. Time runs away from them and suddenly Hellfire Club is over and Steve's kids (minus Max, he notes with a heavy heart) are barging into the place as if they own it, for no reason other than to be absolute menaces.

"And like. Robin. She was so hot in that moment. I swear to-"

"Who are you talking about?". Steve is used to Dustin being a rude little shit and automatically answers without even thinking about it. "Nancy."

He realizes his mistake too late. He looks up. Mike's eyes are wide in horror. "I hate you so fucking much" he says before turning around and leaving.

Robin sighs. "I guess that is the downside."

-> the tramp stamp conversation

-> gatekeeping 101

-> breaking out of a heteronormative mindset

[notablogtwiy]

Angela And Spencer

Hello, everyone. I'm new here, not just to Smosh, but a little bit to Tumblr as well. And I'm jumping right into the deep end, I guess.

Okay, the thing is I absolutely love the Angela and Spencer dynamic. As a friendship and an amazing duo. It's just important to remember that they are not fictional, they're real people, so I don't let shit get weird. Is the idea of them together appealing? Sure, it is. I just believe it's okay as long as no one is being weird, creepy, or obsessive about it, then having casual fun with it is cool. Just be respectful. That's one of the reasons why I was hesitant to make this post because it might come across as something more than what it is. Which is just me enjoying my favorite duo, having fun, and sharing that with others.

Okay, now that's out of the way…

Spangela. As I've mentioned, I love them very much and I feel like not a lot of people talk about them. Now, more and more people are seeing the light, though. I still feel like they're closer than any of us realize. I only found two awesome compilations of them on YouTube, which was very surprising to me as a new fan of Smosh, I thought for sure there would be more. The compilations are created by @fvckwluv and they are an amazing editor, go check them out if you haven't already.

And because I get very anxious and I don't know many creators here and I don't want anyone to feel weird about my request. I'm making this post with some of my favorite moments, hoping that someone will kindly volunteer and make a compilation and add just a few of these moments to it. @fvckwluv I'm looking at you. Kidding, kidding. No pressure, lol. But I'd still appreciate it if one or two of them happen to make it in your next video because your editing is awesome and you can make all the moments work together well.

Okay, now, I can't do all my favorite moments in one post because that will be even longer than this one. I know. But yes, this post can be even longer. So, I'm only gonna start with sweet and very subtle moments that I feel show they're close friends and know each other well, as well as moments where Spencer is just being sweet to Angela. And if this works out and someone makes a video, then I'll post my other favorite moments. I mean, they roast each other constantly and they quite literally attack each other in Don't Win Mario videos all the time, so that should be its own thing.

So, I'm not including popular stuff of theirs. For now, I'm simply focusing on the underrated, subtle, and sweet friendship moments. Mostly. I will also be adding time stamps as much as I can, so it would be easier for anyone who wants to check them out or if anyone just wants to make a video.

--------------------------------------------------------

(The Chosen Moose Master Multiverse):

I mean, that whole video is just incredible. Their interactions are fucking gold. But other than the obvious moments, I like the subtle ones. When they start joking about Spy Kids. At 10:28, Spencer says to her, "And you love traitors." I'm starting with this moment, so you can understand what I mean when I say subtle moments. Because this one shows that he knows her and I like that.

When Angela does her second finishing move. At 20:38, I love how Spencer goes, "Oh, my god, I just got chills."

At 20:38, when she mentions that they forgot a rule during their turn with the I don't want to get a boner joke. I love the way he's smiling at her, saying. "We can take it back." And she smiles, too. "It's okay, I just wanted to get it in there."

Also, the last like 6 minutes of the video where he's so impressed laughing and clapping while she annihilates everyone.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Do you pick your nose in public):

They were both hesitant and unsure about smelling good to others. At 19:54, when Angela starts talking, I just like the way he's looking at her, so that's nothing. Just a me thing.

And at 20:26, you can see them in the background nodding at each other reassuringly.

At 25:55, he jokingly asks Angela "So you're telling me if I come to you with a pimple…" I know Chanse answers him, too, but he was very clearly looking at Angela when he was talking, he also laughed at her chatGPT answer.

--------------------------------------------------------

Okay, look, I just love seeing how they progressed in their relationship over time. In earlier videos, you can so clearly tell that they're still trying to feel each other out a little bit, it's so sweet.

Two times there was a tie, and Spencer had to be the tiebreaker, and both times, he picked her. Again, it's nothing, but I like these videos. The worst dates ever? Video. Spencer joins at 30:43. And the Our Craziest Business Ideas so Far video, Spencer joins at 35:55, Spencer liked her idea there, as he should, it was great. And it was also really funny when they all leaned in to smell him because he smelled so good, apparently.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Don't Win Mario Kart):

This video was amazing, just because Angela won that shit, but also because Spencer was so hyped whenever she won, and at 8:57, he was like, "Oh my fucking god." And, 20:35, he goes, "Angela won again!" In like, an excited voice.

And when Chanse was teasing her and telling her that her hair smelled bad when she was dancing and celebrating, for whatever reason, Spencer says at like, 20:11 "Show us how you washed your hair." Which is just…a great thing to say for me to think about. Thanks, Spencer.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Is He Cheating? Reddit Stories):

I mean, the whole video is a favorite moment on its own. But of course, the 13:27 Nerfs are in the gun joke, the look he gives her after is one to dissect, for sure. The first time I watched it, I was like, "What's wrong with him? Why is he looking at her like that? The joke wasn't that bad." And then I thought, maybe it was an inside joke or something because his reaction was so…weird, but also really hot? But the slight smirk was just…yeah, it was something. I was confused, mainly. I love them.

And the exchange goes on for a while, too. After Shayne asks for clarification Angela explains, and Spencer turns back to her and says softly, "That's crazy." And then they both just exhale a little laugh while covering their faces. Yeah, I think about this a lot. But I also feel like it was just a moment with no explanation behind it.

At 14:07, When Shayne announces an update and Angela leans in excitedly with her mouth open, Spencer sees her in the monitor or screen thing. He sees her and smiles and then leans in with her, too, with an agape mouth. I liked that moment. Especially that small smile and chuckle he lets out when he sees her reaction before doing the same thing himself.

At 52:33, when Angela starts humming jokingly at the Reddit story and he joins, I love how long it goes on. She just keeps doing it while he's silently laughing.

At 53:42, when Spencer makes the uggo joke, and Angela laughs and explains it to Shayne, I think you can see him looking at the monitor again, smiling while she speaks. And of course, when they lean in together at the end of the video showing off their matching hats. Like, we get it, you're insanely cute.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Overcooked):

The glasses saga starts at 2:02. And from there, it's all hilarious and cute at the same time. But, an underrated part, is at 18:33, after Angela says "They're in my car." the first time. You can hear Spencer ask, "Do you want me to go get them?" And you can see Angela shake her head no. But it's very faint, though, you have to wear your headphones to hear him.

--------------------------------------------------------

Okay, now, live streams. Live streams are where they truly thrive and shine.

(Sharing YOUR SWORD AF fan art live):

Just one very small moment here and it's still a good one. People kept sending how sexy Angela is in the chat and how she is the sexiest woman alive, and I mean, they're so valid for that. Anyway, Amanda kept bringing it up to Angela because she wasn't wearing her glasses and couldn't read the comments. And then Spencer was like, "I told them to shut up." It was just so funny and so cute. The whole sexiest woman alive thing starts at 1:24, but the Spencer comment is said after the 2:32 minute mark conversation between Amangela.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Don't win Mario Party Charity live stream):

At 11:54, he helps with her controller.

At 15:53, he references the papa thing she did in the cards against humanity video, and then he does it throughout the stream, as they all do, consistently. But he does it a lot.

Side note: Spencer also clearly mentioned once that he was cracking up when Angela was doing that, but I can't remember which video he said it and it's driving me crazy. If anyone can remember, let me know.

At 30:08, Spencer got confused about winning/not winning and Angela kinda chuckled and touched and patted his arm and he turned to her smiling. Again, a small moment, but I live for those.

Like at 30:20, when Angela starts singing the words don't win loudly and Spencer just looks at her and smiles, and Angela just lightly smacks his arm. Yeah, these are my moments. Sigh.

At 33:24, after she tries to sabotage him and Shayne, Spencer's like, "You're not even playing. what if I fully put down the controller and choked you out?" And just joking about not realizing that she wasn't playing.

Another choking comment to Angela by Spencer.

(The other one was in the latest Don't Win Mario Party video when they finally got day at the races. Angela says that she almost googled Day at the Races that morning to see what it looks like. And Spencer just straight up goes, "I would've choked you out." Which is so unhinged. And I love him so much for it. Truly. Thanks, Spencer.)

Back to the stream, at 34:18, Angela almost spoils a video about who wins in it and Spencer goes"Shhhhh. They're not even gonna watch it now", and she's like, "They don't watch for the winners." And he replies, laughing, "I know."

But the cutest part is Angela still very softly whispers and apologizes to him about almost spoiling it at 34:37, and it's just so sweet and melted my heart, Angela is adorable. You have to use a headphone to be able to hear her, though.

(Her apologizing to him happened two more times, I believe. That latest don't win video, when they were both Mario and Luigi and on the same team. When they lost, she said, "I'm sorry, Spencer." And on Reddit Stories, she says I'm sorry after he teases her about the fact that she doesn't give him enough time to get to a joke.)

At 34:47, Angela screams about mini-games incorrectly and he, of course, laughs, and then at 34:56, he asks her if she's singing Taylor Swift and teases her and says, "Dude, you were down bad last night" and then I can't hear what he said after that, something Taylor Swift? Most likely, singing. And then Angela of course says, "Shut up." It was a nothing moment, but again, I live for those.

Since she gave her controller to Courtney, Spencer turns to her at 37:59 and asks, "Hey, do you wanna use my controllers?" Angela got confused about what he was asking and then joked that she was already playing and Tommy joined in, the whole thing was cute, okay? Don't judge me, lol.

45:48, Spencer suggests that they, "de-italian Angela and get her fixed." And they all joke about that for a while. But what I love is that When Angela agrees to actually do it at 47:11 because she's awesome, Spencer says "Okay, thank you." because he knows that what he suggested was a bit insane, and he should be grateful that she's just as unhinged as he is.

At 50:33, Spencer jokes about the cone again, "You know how it is with Angela, man, she keeps getting into the trash." I'm including this joke because Angela laughed so damn hard at it. I love her ability to laugh at herself so much. Nothing but respect for her, honestly.

At 52:25, Spencer makes a weird sex joke, and Angela's like, "Spencer…" And then he goes, "Look, okay, it's a work in progress."

(This could also be paralleled in the latest don't win Mario party video. When Spencer says, "I hope I don't come in my pants." Everyone laughs, and Angela says, "Don't laugh at that." You can see Spencer close his eyes briefly, shaking his head and smiling.)

1:01:56. Somebody in the chat suggests they fix Spencer for a certain amount of money. And Angela's like, "That's not gonna be enough." And he continues her joke, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

--------------------------------------------------------

(Boozy Painting Anthony For His Funeral live stream):

At 35:23, Angela excitedly asks him to paint something on her cast, and his response is equally as excited, open mouth and everything. I love that he tries to give her the same energy she gives other people. As he said on who meme'd it, it's the best part of Angela and you can tell he appreciates it so much and he tries to give her the same reactions to the things she says. I've noticed it a few times now. (For example, it happened in the Lego stream as well when she was talking about submitting options for her school mascot, he was giving her an Angela-type reaction to a very tame and normal story.)

At 39:38, after he messes up her cast, I just love that he wanted to try again and was like, "Let me draw something else." And then proceeded to lean over and just paint for quite some time on her cast until Alex had to be like, "Spencer get your elbow out of Angela's painting."

Also, I like the fact that Angela was the only one who knew Spencer was planning a Chanse and Angela show special because they'd already talked about it with each other before telling anyone else. Well, I assume Alex knew as well. It starts at 1:10:10.

17:06 - 17:23. After Angela posts coffee memes on Courtney's Instagram. Spencer says, "I gotta see these." And then you can hear him and Alex laughing, and then Spencer says, "These are awesome."

48:11, Spencer says, "The way Angela says day at the races is really funny." This bit might be more on the teasing side because he does say she sounds like Bobby Hill or Peter Griffin, but still lighthearted teasing.

59:16: This. This. This moment. This damn second. I have no idea what's going on here, but the way he just came up to her and touched her arm and both smiled and stuff was cute as all hell.

1:32:09, Spencer got so excited when Angela agreed to show her drafts. And then after Shayne reads her Call Me by Your Name draft at 2:12:12, Spencer says after they're all done laughing. "I would've retweeted that shit." It's extra sweet because she's been saying all stream that her co-workers never retweet her.

Also, I love how invested Spencer was in painting her face. Not only did he go over to her to take a picture of her on his phone, but at 1:19:36, he said, "Like, I need to see some red in there." And then Courtney is like, "Stop giving notes, Spencer."

Now this is speculation and not confirmed, but also I feel like it's obvious enough. Angela mentioned that she wanted her drawing of John Pork to be on set or something like that, and now it's on the Smosh Games set next to Spencer's one-ball picture. I can only assume that the director of programming is the one who approved to put it there, so yes, that is now a part of their lore in my mind. It's incredibly sweet and I just love seeing her drawing in the background in videos so much.

Now onto the best moment of the stream, at 1:25:00, Spencer sweetly asks her, "Do you need me to hold your jacket?" Like, I'm sure there are places she could put it away safely, but no, he asked if he could hold it for her. It was just so…I love him.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Smosh Does Arts and Crafts live stream):

At 43:57, Angela lights up when she sees him and says "Hey!" so excitedly. And then at 4:42, when she asks him the questions they asked Alex, he answers with "you." At the fancy party question. Though, he did answer with a bit of hesitation, lol. But that could mean anything, you know. The thing is his voice was kind of shy, yet a bit deep when he said it. This is just a Spencer thing, I love his voice.

At 1:08:50, Angela messed up the RumPum name and everyone was correcting her loudly, she was like, "I'm kidding, I got your ass." Spencer then chuckles and says, "You're gonna start doing that any time you get something wrong. Oh, I got you."

And then when Spencer told her at 1:21:46 to "Tell him–tell Shayne about your plan." I'm weird, I know, but again, I like the subtle moments that show that they talk to each other and are actually friends.

(Again, this could be paralleled in the latest Don't Win Mario Party. When Spencer says he wants to do an all-day marathon, Angela goes, "I pitched a meal train like churches do." While Spencer nods. Again, it seemed like she was the only one aware he wanted to do this and he already discussed it with her, along with Alex, probably. I also like that he clearly includes her in the creatives and stuff, and cares about her input.)

--------------------------------------------------------

(The Ultimate Staring Contest Live Stream):

When Angela was stone-faced and not laughing, and Spencer was like, at 16:25 "I think you brought that energy to TNTL one time." Like, wow, he remembers that! I don't know why that is so, so, so sweet to me. It was an old TNTL, too. The only hard mode TNTL Angela was in, I think.

And then at 16:37, talking about her dark place, he was like, "So, wait, what, what are you thinking about?" He was just really invested and maybe, just a tiny bit worried, I think. This whole stream felt like he was trying to be so attentive.

At 34:19, Angela talks about how she was on Spencer's computer and he had to go to a meeting, and then she, Shayne, and Amanda pranked him with a fart video. But it was her idea, I believe, and she was the one who gave it to him during the meeting. Amanda mentioned that people were clapping when she left the room. At 34:58. I just love knowing these things about them.

At 1:11:10, when they didn't agree on Angela's pitch, Angela was like, "I'm just pitching, that's all." Spencer went, "No, no, it was…." you can tell he felt bad that he said no. Even Alex felt a little bad and was like, "No, no, you can stand."

1:06:48, when Angela says she feels like she's been getting too much into a dark place, and Spencer goes, "Yeah, I'm legit w–yeah." I believe he was going to say worried. And it's so sweet and also kind of proves that it's not just me, he was being extra sweet that stream. Like, when he defended her against Chanse's joke about her being cross-eyed at 1:13:39. "I've never seen that Angela, don't believe him."

At 1:11:36, Angela pitches another idea again. And Spencer says "Yeah, mirror staring, that would be fun." But then, at 1:11:43 she says, "Everyone hates my ideas." And Spencer goes, "I just suggested your idea." Again, it's nothing, but I think he could tell she was a bit deflated and it was sweet that he was trying to make her feel better.

And finally, at, 1:17:16, he asks, "Was going to your dark place worth this food…meal you're about to have?" The entire stream, it just felt like he didn't like the fact that she went there. But maybe that's just me.

--------------------------------------------------------

(The Beopardy Charity Stream):

It's just another parallel of Spencer backing Angela up when she says some wild shit like she did in the family vlogging video. At 39:12, When Angela says they can play two truths and a lie with piss in the guns if they reach 20k, he sweetly pats her on the back, and then when everyone was laughing and Shayne was like, "Fuck. We can never allow Angela to pitch anything ever again." Spencer says, "dude, for 20k…" And Angela goes, "Thank you, Spencer."

Also, when Keith announced that she won the whole thing, Spencer looked so happy and excited as he clapped for her.

--------------------------------------------------------

(Reading Reddit Stories From Our Crew Live Stream):

At 50:15 Shayne starts reading a story, and in the story, it mentions the person is only a freelancer at Smosh. And Spencer jokingly says, "Okay, Angela." It wasn't her story, though. But I thought that was funny and cute, the way she just popped into his mind, I guess.

My absolute favorite part is at 1:10:07 when Shayne asks about what they're most excited to see at Anthony's funeral. Spencer says he's most excited about Angela reading the chats as the vessel. Because that was his favorite part during Lisa's funeral. And then he went on applauding Angela on not only reading and figuring out the chats but adding her original takes as well since she's still kind of new to Smosh. The way he talks about her with so much admiration and respect. My heart.

--------------------------------------------------------

(The Lego Competition Live Stream):

This Stream is a Spangela stream and you can't convince me otherwise. I mean, they all kind of are, but this one…

At 14:08, they joke about building a hot and beautiful woman, and Angela just reaches over to touch him. I simply really love that moment.

And when he brings up that they were discussing their favorite Angelaisms the other night, he looks at her before he actually speaks. It's subtle, but he does, and why do I like that? I don't know, but I do.

53:54, when they were talking about a possible fake belly button ring for the chosen, I love how Angela starts joking in a British accent and Spencer smiles at her sweetly and joins in, laughing. Felt like an inside joke and I just love that.

26:30, Angela asks, "Do you wanna see mine? John pork. " Spencer goes, "You're getting there. Never give up."

At 40:42, when Spencer reads a comment about Angela and Chanse or Angela and Shayne playing fatal frame 4, Angela jokes, "Please, I've been begging, I've been begging." And then starts coughing heavily, he goes, "Do you wanna water?" The bare minimum, I know. Still, it's sweet, okay? He's like, the only one who's asked.

25:30 he says that his favorite shit was when she teased Amanda about saying something to her about the necklace during the criminal minds episode. I also like the fact that he brought that up when Chanse said something about Angela not slaying every day. And Angela was like, "You guys are just gonna sit there and let him do that to me?" I feel like Spencer's thought process was like: okay, let me bring up this moment where you were funny and how it was my favorite thing.

At 43:31, the sudoku thing. I love that he wasn't laughing with everyone else when Angela was kind of being self-deprecating about the sniper chess video and learning how to play chess. And he tried to make it better, you know, didn't fully succeed, but he did say she was great in the video and was a star. And even though he brought up that she whiffed the last two videos, he was talking about them in a positive light and that he loved them. "The werewolf ending and the criminal minds ending were the funniest shit to me."

I very much love the way he tried to imitate her. "Whoever playing the unsub better wake up." It was so cute and funny. And then when Chanse asks you said that? or something like that. Spencer replies, laughing," Something Angela fucking says." Again, in such an endeared tone of voice.

At 46:02 when Angela shows Shayne her garden, Shayne goes "Actually, I resp–I actually like that. " I love that Spencer kind of calls him out on being patronizing towards Angela a little bit and mocks Shayne and goes "Oh, you know what? I'm surprised." But the funniest part was that Spencer used the word "actually" with her when she first showed them the garden. "Oh, that's actually kinda cute." Said the hypocrite, lol.

55:20, the X-Men question. This moment is unreal. Don't even get me started on the fact that he stares at her for like, 20 seconds while smiling and shaking his head. My favorite part is not once does he open his mouth to call her out on her lying, he's just so endeared by her bit and just stays quiet to let it continue. And that look again at 57:55. He's just so…amused? Perplexed and amused? It's a similar smirk to the one he gives her after the Nerfs are in the gun joke. And yes, indeed, he does know Angela. He knows that she's blowing smoke and shit up her butt. Oh, how far they've come.

Okay, I'm done. For now. I had to cut and edit some moments out of this post, so…

I feel like most of these would be great to edit because there are a LOT of parallels. For example:

"Do you need me to hold your jacket?"

"Do you wanna use my controllers?

"Do you wanna a water?

"Do you want me to go get them (her glasses)?"

Just Spencer making sure Angela's got everything she might need. You get the idea.

I would also just love to discuss these moments, were you aware of most of them or is it just me? What are your favorite moments?

[artfromsaturn]

Saturn’s Free CSP Brush Recommendations, CS Asset Store Edition

I may sell brushes now, but I still love me some free brushes & love to share them with people.  These are a bunch of cool brushes made by other people that you can use to build up a nice library of tools without having to spend any cash on, perfect if you’re new to CSP or are on a budget.  If you do download these, be sure to like them & give some love to the artist if you enjoy them. :D

How to find: type in the Content ID or Ctrl/Command + C & P (copy and paste shortcuts) into the Clip Studio asset store on the Clip Studio application.  I’ll add a link as a preview but copying & pasting the content ID is easiest.  I have automatic translation ON, so sorry if you read some weird names.   Feel free to reblog this with your own suggestions, there’s many brushes out there I missed. :D  Check defsiarte’s suggestions too, and if you want to see my recommendations for stuff on Gumroad/DA & other places, check this tag.

Large Packs

“An analogue art supply" - 1813808 Huge pack of everything, including acrylic, oil, watercolor, marker, pen, & pencil.  I like the markers and sometimes use the acrylics too.

Crm's Toolbox, Watercolors, Markers, & other treasures

Fantastic use of texture and some cute effects pens.  The artist has posted everything from quality painting & drawing pens to quality glitter pens for writing.

The Old Default Assets - 1842027 & 1841759 These aren’t pictured, but if you ever see an older tutorial or video showcasing some default brushes you never had, it’s because CSP reworked its default tools around version 1.9.  Fortunately they rerelased them so anyone can redownload them. The old ones are still good to use, they’re just not included.

Painters - With Texture

Thiccpaint - 1707517 Never leave home without it.  I riot if I don’t have them on my computer..  They have the right combination of texture, shape, & blend with great handling and great variety.

Icyannyou's Momo Sets - user:Icyannyou Super cute packs that give a lovely painterly look.  The Storybook pack is fantastic, and even if you don't draw cute you can still use these painters & blenders to give your artwork character. :)

Thick Coating Brush Set - 1683127 I like these for background work, but it's a big pack of thick textured painters with good handling & neat effects.

Marredae's Brushes - user:Marredae This artist has a knack for textured brushes.  Very high rec, fantastic library of wet & dry painting/rendering tools.

Roro Oil - 1820057 Rompi is another user I enjoy the stuff of, and I'll recommend a few more brushes from them in other categories by the time this post is done.  Check 'em out!

Suika chalk -  1760304 Very useful rough chalk.  Sometimes, that’s all you need!

Sprongle -  1935694 A simple round brush with a nice rough tip.  Slightly rough without being too rough, great for quick paintings.

Johnnie halloween pack & Brokenhearted brushes... - 1876075 & 1938786, user:EnjieLemon EnjieLemon has some nice brushes in general, but some are paid for.  Still worth checking out due to their cheap clippy price (and clippy can be obtained for free).  The Brokenhearted brushes have a nice texture.  The Halloween pack includes a cute pumpkin stamp along with some easy to use chalk, oil, & watercolor brushes.  Compact and easy to use!

“Watercolor marker and texture set” - 1682349 There's a reason this set is one of the most downloaded on the asset store.  It's one of the best looking watercolor replicas out there, and even if you don't use the brushes, you can likely still find a use for the textures.  Great for soft coloring.

Grunge Brushes, Soft | Heavy | Complex Brushes & Xenomorphius' stuff in general -  user:xenomorphius Xeno drops some cool natural looking brushes out every so often for painting, inking, and dry media.  Please check 'em out!  The grunge brushes create a fun, grungy look like it says on the pack, & the soft/heavy/complex set can be used for painting as well as lining.  

Oil-h5 trial -  1976418 These brushes are hard to explain.  They work with the dual brush setting, & push around a layer of paint on top of your regular paint, creating a cool, streaky look.  They're a hidden gem.

MYNQZO brushes - 1993875 A pretty darn good set for painting.  I really love rough brush 2, it's great for sketching & rendering.

Painting, non-textured 

(basic rounds & other shapes for smooth rendering)

Kiminie71's Brush Set -  1728687 4 simple rounds that are great for rendering!   https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1728687

CHIMAKA Set -  1747974 Heavy drag paint that highlights well & applies thickly.  Great for bold shading.

Choms Paint -  1910936 It just gets me.  No further elaboration.

Honeypen<3 -  1786787 Fits great in my paint hand.  Very slidey & blends like intended!

Wet flat marker -  1917678 Super blending brush, gives super soft edges to paint.  Blends great.

oil mushblendiw -  1918739 Another simple & easy to use roundbrush.

Paint - 1760641 This plainly named brush is a triangle brush that goes between heavy & light with pressure.  The creator, Puppsicle, also sells some neat brushes on Ko-Fi if you enjoy this brush.

"The Scarlet Knot Brush Set 2" - 1916125 I use the watercolor of thought out of this set, but they're all pretty good & easy to use. https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1916125

Sunday - 1825825 A round brush with a watercolor border that gives a nice, sketchy feeling. https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1825825

Marker Brushes

Marker Texture Brush -1809506 A very nice subtly textured brush.  Has a nice instructional guide on how to get the best results with it. :D

Mirre's Marker set - 1749822 Another good brush with a subtle texture.  Comes with its own blender!

Woody Marker & Pencil set - 1772987 I also love the pencil in this pack.  Nice woody feel, feel free to turn off multiply.

Pencils & Sketchers

SU-Cream Pencil - 1761353 no wonder its popular.  Can be used for lineart, sketching, and coloring, this versatile brush delivers a great smooth look with a gentle textured end finish on pressure.

Write BoruPenP - 1753435 Probably the best ballpoint pen on Clip.  Please check out Pharan's things, I love them.😊

“Pencil-like Brush for Lineart” - 1692270 Ok this is kind of a weird way to recommend something.  It's SUPPOSED to be a pencil but I use it like a paintbrush with the opacity & density on pressure control, & another copy with blending turned on.  Whatever you use it for, you're sure to get a good result!

Grease pencil/china marker - 1774978 Chunky brush for chunky sketching needs.

Muda muda muda - 1715496 A pretty darn good dark pencil.

REDSketch soft - 1907313 just a nice sketcher!  Good for shading too.

MUGZ BRUSH - 1861032 A set of dry chalk & brushes.  Gives a fun messy look when used!

T Spade Pencil - 1769208 A pencil that looks great for lineart as well as sketches.  Good taper.

Magipencil 2 - 1755940 Utterly good for textured and smooth lineart.  These pens get me.  Can’t recommend them enough. :)

Pens & Inkers

G-pen 6 - 1767809 A generic name but a good Gpen with character.  Organic without sacrificing too much smoothness.

"Flat thick pen" - 1826131 I call it the card games pen.  I think you can see why.  Solid at high pressure, a little bit of texture at low pressure, and pretty great for sharp angles.

Haggiben_Lineart_Color - 1770988 A nice triangle liner.

Gabu Pen - 1894713 Very slightly rough pen on one side, another nice triangle-like liner.

Aeridus - user:Aeridis All 3 of their pens give a nice result.

Pilot Pen - 1895049 A great IRL brush now a digital one!

Fude set - 1726964 & 1759205 Heavy, beautiful ink!  The creator has some more good ink pens too, take a look. :D  

Dimi - 1763877 It's a ga,l with a knife and a nice calligraphy pen.  Can't ask for more. Turn on >particles "change with brush size" in settings to keep the shape without chaning.  

New Cali A nice set of Calligraphy brushes.  They have smooth transitions between big and small.  

Blend, Fill, & Erase

Noise and texture blur - 1842730 If you want a more painterly look to your blur, get these!  They said they're supposed to be turned from free to paid, but the artist hasn't come back and done it yet.  Will they do it?  I'm not sure. :0

Textured Blending & Blurs - 1904941 & 1971444 They're actually made by me, my apologies, but it's hard to find textured blenders by themselves.  Most are included in a set or are something you have to pay for, so I released a few free stand alone ones due to it.  Normal solid round blenders & blurs are easier to find & even easier to create yourself! https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1904941 https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1971444

Unhelpful Eraser - 1798605 The terrible hard eraser that you had in school becomes digital.  Download it as a tribute.

Quick Lasso Fill -  1978471 Fills up a lasso'ed area.

Random Color Fill - 1707873 Picks random spaces to fill.  The picture in the demonstration shows it better than I can describe.

Scratchy Coloring - 1845677 A fun scratchy brush that can fill areas up.

Quick Lasso Eraser - 1875033 This and the next brush are both @pharan​ ‘s again.  This does the same as the lasso fill, but erases as you can tell.

Erase along Edge - 1800143 An eraser that takes advantage of reference layers.  The description explains it in detail.

"Create Solid-irregularity set" aka adding texture to black solid ink patches - 1768052 These distress the paper, making it look more textured.  Easier to look at than to explain, click the link for more!

Mirre Cross Hatch Brush Set - 1972956 I love the look the spaced lines give.  Fantastic set.

Overlap Hatching (…"a texan"???) - 1712720 One of the most popular Clip Studio Hatchers for a reason, easy to apply hatchers that you can just keep adding to for a sparse or dense look.

Dust hatching brush - 1966237 Simple light hatcher with dust particles around it for a dusty feeling.

Cross-hatching Blur - 1684830

I actually recommend all of  user:もの区 ‘s stuff they have posted for crosshatching.  There’s a whole bunch of great free brushes there for anyone who enjoy hatching!

“Rough and Solid” - 1874629 A ribbon brush that makes good borders.

“Coarse Solid Erase” - 1872105 For those who like to fill an area, then erase the light parts away.

chaos brushes - 1569895 A great marbler.  

"Dirty cross hatching_monochrome" - 1727346 A nice, thick, analogue hatch.  SB has some great material in general, but most needs clippy.

Creepy Lines 1 & 2 - 1405766 & 1707236 Get some spooky lines into your art!

Simple Retro Halftone - 1802041 A small set that's easy to use to add some halftone texture.

retro halftone brushes - 1852027 A larger yet still easy to use set with more specific brushes to use for each color.

Mar's Halftones -  1949506 A set with a lot of fun patterns!  Check out SpiralPuzzle's stuff in general, they post some unique brushes.

Pixel Art

Pixel Brushes by tsiox - (small) 1971800 & (large) 1969097 THE Clip Studio pixel set.  Has a ton of tools & textures to use.  The small set is better for slower internet connections & if you don't want all the patterns.

Studio Screen Tones - 1803496 If you like Flipnote studios or need more dithers, get this!

Pixel Foliage Brushes - 1883082 I apologize for promoting my own assets again, but I promise they're useful if you're doing anything with grass, trees, or bushes! ;w; My basic set - 1910804 Another lighter set with a few noise brushes that are useful at tiny size.  Did my best not to overlap with tsiox’s set while covering the basics.

Bonus: two blending pixel brush sets.   Mao Pixel (1779745) & Scummy Pixel(1782455). They’re not for exact pixel art, they’re more for playing around with & painting. :)

[niennanir]

There was, in my experience, two solid ways to find a zine in 1985. This was the year Back to the Future, Enemy Mine, and Coocoon all came out. Star Trek returned to prime time two years later. It was a seismic shift in which sci-fi went from being for dorks to being cool. It was a hell of a time to be alive. It was also when I first started publishing fanfic.

The first most effective way to find a zine to subscribe to was to flip to the back of your StarLog magazine. Anyone who was into Sci-Fi or fantasy subscribed to StarLog. Wild stuff went on in the back of StarLog because this was where the classifieds were.

If you are younger than 20 you might not know what a Classified Ad is. Back in the dark times, before the internet, the way you got information out to the world was to mail a couple of lines of text, about the length of a short Tweet, to your favorite newspaper or magazine along with a very reasonable ad fee. The editorial staff would then put your classified ad in the classified section where there were hundreds of other tiny ads. The ads could be for anything from a car for sale to someone looking for a date.

But in StarLog the ads were usually one of two things: Sci-fi Conventions and Zines. You would also see a lot of ads labeled 'fan club' these were targeted at a younger audience, but apart from the lack of racy art and erotica they were, essentially, just Zines. both fan clubs and Zines were cheap to subscribe to. You would take 4 envelopes, put a stamp and your mailing address on each of them then put them in another envelope with a dollar bill and mail that to the Zine address. If you had aspirations of being a published fan fiction writer you would mail your manuscript to the zine as well. You may or may not make it into the Zine. I was 13 so I did not get into a lot of Zines this way.

The second way to find Zines was to get on your bike and ride down to the comic shop, or maybe the video rental store (Not Blockbuster usually) and check the public bulletin board. You might find ads for Zines stuck to the board, or you might even find the zines themselves. Our local comics shop had a Zine of the month, you could come in, pull the Zine off the bulletin board, read it while sitting on the crappy couch in the back corner and then stick it back to the board when you were done. I got into a lot more of these Zines.

I started writing fanfic when I was still very young, 10 or 11 I think, I didn't know at the time that it had a name, I was writing because it was important to who I was then. I suppose I began publishing because the classified ad said "Do you have Star Trek Stories you'd like to share?" and I did and they asked nicely so I sent them.

I have no idea what my readership might have been, I don't know if they enjoyed my stories, or if they even finished them, I can presume that the editors who chose to publish my work must have liked it. Or maybe they were just desperate for something to put in the Zine, I don't really know. The type of validation we have now wasn't achievable then so no one thought of it.

But it was a fun adventure all the same.

[stampwithtami]

Celebrating the Eclipse with an Eclipse Card!

SLIMLINE ECLIPSE CARD In anticipation of today's astronomical spectacle, an eclipse, I found my creativity steering towards the cosmos. The event isn't just a marvel of the skies but a muse for my latest project—an "Eclipse" technique slimline card.  For this project, I dove into the soon-to-be-retired Stargazing Designer Series Paper, which proved to be the perfect backdrop for our celestial theme. The starry sky and space-themed patterns brought the vastness of the universe to the palm of my hands. The choice to use the Alphabet A La Mode Die set for cutting out "Happy Birthday" directly from this cosmic backdrop was deliberate, aiming to blend the celebration with the infinity of space. And of course, no starry night is complete without a sprinkle of sparkle, hence the addition of Rhinestone stars to mimic the gleaming cosmos. Crafting the Envelope: The First ImpressionThere are 2 paths you can take for the slimline card envelope. The traditional route with a business-sized envelope offers simplicity and convenience, but I can't resist the charm of creating a custom envelope. Matching the envelope with the card's Designer Paper, it sets the stage for what lies within, promising a journey through the stars before the card is even seen. Instructions & Video Tutorial: Guiding Through the GalaxyIf you're eager to recreate this stellar journey, detailed instructions, measurements, and a complete supply list are readily available in a free PDF in the INSTRUCTIONS section.  The Stargazing Suite: A Farewell to a Galactic CompanionThe core of this project, the Stargazing Suite Collection, deserves its ode. As it prepares for retirement, I can't help but reflect on the cosmic journeys it has enabled. From crafting astronauts to rocket ships and creating paper planets, this collection has been a gateway to the galaxy. Its galactic stamps, cosmic dies, and holographic paper have not just been tools but portals to crafting our very own universes. NOTE: THE STARGAZING PAPER IS GOING ON SALE TOMORROW 40% OFF WHILE IT LASTS Don't let the adventure end here. Dive into my Stargazing SERIES section below to discover more tutorials inspired by the Stargazing Suite. As we bid farewell to this celestial collection, let’s make the most of its remaining time, crafting our tributes to the night sky. Conclusion: A Cosmic ConnectionAs we look up at the eclipse today, let’s remember the beauty and mystery of the cosmos that we can capture, even in something as simple as a handmade card. Join me in this crafting journey and let's make connections that span galaxies. Happy crafting! Tami INSTRUCTIONS INSTRUCTIONS PDF ⬇ The guide provides detailed measurements and a sequential process for crafting this card, complete with a clickable list of materials. DOWNLOAD PDF SUPPLIES I USED SUPPLIES I USED TO CREATE THIS CARD⬇ STARGAZING SERIES TUTORIALS Click the thumbnails below for more free tutorials in my series. STAMPIN' UP! CATALOGS CURRENT SPECIALS PHOTOS A birthday "eclipse" slimline card For this project, I dove into the soon-to-be-retired Stargazing Designer Series Paper, which proved to be the perfect backdrop for our celestial theme. The starry sky and space-themed patterns brought the vastness of the universe to the palm of my hands. I used the Alphabet A La Mode Die set for cutting out "Happy Birthday" directly from this cosmic backdrop. I discuss how to do this technique with Foam Adhesive above in the tutorial. I used the Slimline Card Style The Rhinestones sparkle like stars in the sky Check out more awesome-ness in my Stargazing Wow Fun fold card series Want to save these ideas for later? Pin them to your favorite Pinterest board. Have you tried these designs? I love to see your creations! Be sure to share them on #shareyourcrafts post every Saturday on my Facebook Page    Read the full article

[quackiseok]

— sweet dreams

feral boys x gn! reader || headcanons

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing

summary : the feral boys' reaction to you falling asleep in their embrace or on them!

a/n : AYY HELLO!! i'm so sorry for the lack of content these last three days OTL but here's something i wrote, hope you guys liked it! ♡

song to listen to while reading :

— DREAM

let's say dream has just finished recording for his upcoming manhunt video and it was a chilly night

well, the solution? a gun CUDDLES!!! ♡

he's a sucker for cuddles and you love cuddling with him too, so why not?

the two of you plopped yourselves on the bed, warm blankets wrapping the two of you together

the first plan was to watch a movie, but the two of you ended up talking to each other and leaving the movie unwatched

he share many stories with you, letting you rest your head on his chest whilst listening to him. he would also put an arm around your shoulders to keep you warm and close to him 🥺

as time passes by, it was getting late. you felt really safe around dream, especially if you were in his embrace

your eyelids grew heavier each time you tried fighting it off and focus on dream's voice, which leads to you unconsciously falling asleep on his chest

after a few seconds talking, dream would realize your sleeping figure in his embrace and OHMYGOD

HE WANTS TO FREAK OUT SO BAD BECAUSE HOW CUTE YOU WERE—

lowkey scared that he might somehow crush you or something because you're the tiny little spoon in the current situation

man, he had to refrain himself from taking a picture of you sleeping in his embrace

and the fact that you felt safe enough to fall asleep in his arms makes him tear up (in a positive way!) 🥺

would slowly move you to a more comfortable position and carefully pull you closer to his chest, making sure that he doesn't wake you up

[hugs you tightly]

ALSO just like any other times, mans would secretly mark the date in his phone's calendar because OHMYGOD????? this date better be stamped on history books

after getting into a slightly more comfortable position, dream would just adore you— even only from looking at you, his serotonin level will always go 📈📈

would 100% whisper i love you's or other sweet words while looking at you

mans just smiling to himself, thinking about how much he loves you and adores you— and how lucky he is to have you in his embrace 🥺💞

after some time, he would start to drift away too and ending up sleeping while hugging you tightly in his arms 🥺

— GEORGE

the two of you were sleepyheads

like at the weekends? both you and george would just lazily lay on the bed and fall asleep together regardless what time it was

even at noon? NAP TIME

and today was one of those lazy days

you were laying your head on his lap, which leads to him to his habit of playing with your hair while joking around with you and talk about random things

he just absolutely adores your fluffy hair 🥺

he'd also learn how to braid hairs from youtube just so he could braid yours 🥺

AND SURPRISINGLY HE'S SO GOOD AT BRAIDING HAIRS 💞💞

the way he caressed your head was so comforting, which leads you to feel sleepy. you still wanted to talk with george so you tried fighting off the sleepiness but ended up falling asleep anyways

after not hearing a respond from you, he realized you fell asleep.

WAIT, YOU FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LAP AND THE WAY YOU LOOKED SO ADORABLE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL—

a blush crept up on his cheeks as he looked at your sleeping figure on his lap

ohmygod he absolutely adores this and 100% would plan more sleepy days with you just to see you fall alseep on his lap again

george would admire you shyly, his fingers still softly caressing your hair while making sure not to do it too hard since he doesn't want to wake you up 🥺

he looks at you > gets shy from how adorable you are and how much he loves you > look away > missing looking at you > back to the first step (put this cycle on repeat)

GOSH he just wants to pull you close to his embrace now but that's not possible to do since he doesn't want to wake you up ;(

as he secretly admires you, he would slowly feel sleepy too but he doesn't want to move you away from his lap

so this man right here decided to just sleep in a sitting position which he didn't mind too much since he could still lean his back on the stacked pillows

come on— he doesn't wanna ruin this adorable moment :( it's worth the back pain according to him 👍

and so with that, the two of you fell alseep peacefully 🥺💞

— SAPNAP

mans a whole ass tease @ you

mf would browse through hundreds of websites and collect the cheesiest jokes he can find to use them on you later 😳

also won't stop clinging on you for 24/7 but you don't mind since he's so adorable 🥺💞

and today was just the same like any other days, he clung on you and begged you to cuddle with him

how can you refuse such a sweet offer????

so here you are now laying on the bed with his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to him

the two of you would just joke and laugh at many things, just havin' a wholesome fun time 🥺

don't forget the fluffy blankets around the two of you (you adore soft blankets so sapnap bought you at least 3 blankets and you absolutely loved all three of them 🥺)

until at one point everything felt so comfortable that you didn't even realize you were drifting yourself to sleep

and the moment sapnap realized you fell asleep sweetly in his embrace?

[!(-?#?2@&&????? SCREAMS???? —NO, MAKE THE SCREAM SILENT SO IT WON'T WAKE YOU UP]

he can't help but let out a soft chuckle when saw your sleeping figure

oh man, he was gripping on the pillow tightly so that he doesn't lose control and pull you closer to him which could wake you up

100% gonna make you cuddle with him everyday until you fall asleep on him (mans just making it a routine now)

he would also have to refrain himself from squishing your cheeks while looking at you in awe 🥺💞

even though he's growing sleepy too, he won't give in so easily

like— hello??? a cutie pie just fell asleep in my arms, sleep can wait 🖐🖐

but then eventually he'll fall asleep anyways, but he swore he tried his best keeping his eyelids up and that's sweet 🥺

((would 100% unconsciously pull you closer and just hug you tightly in his sleep ♡))

— QUACKITY

we all know how much alex LOVES driving and mans really good at it (he knows what he's doing fellas)

especially with you 😳😳

the two of you would blast banger songs together while enjoying the road and the pretty view from the window 🥺

it was one of those afternoons again where the two of you went for a stroll with his car

both you and alex planned on only going for a short stroll, but ended up strolling around for almost 3 hours now

but neither of you cared, alex loves spending lots of time with you and same goes with you 🥺💞

the two of you wanted to get some fresh air for a bit after such a long drive, so you stopped by at the nearest field before driving back home

and man, the view was indeed beautiful

the two of you had moved to the back seat so he can get closer to you

as the two of you talked while watching the sun setting down, you started feeling a little bit sleepy

you shrugged it off at first and continued to talk with alex, but then you couldn't help but fall asleep with your head leaned on his shoulders eventually

and when he realized you has fallen asleep on his shoulders?

OH MY— HIS HEART WENT BRRRRRR BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE YOU ARE

definitely will plan on doing this in the furture but at home so he can just adore your sleeping figure for as long as he wants to

he has to drive back home but this moment is very important so he chose to stay there for at least the next 1 more hour 🥺💞

he just wants to kiss you on the forehead so bad but he's scared that he might wake you up :[

but then again, it was getting really late and he has to drive the two of you back home so he would carefully make you lay down on the back seat and he would put his jacket underneath your head as a pillow 🥺💞

and when the two of you arrived back home, he would carefully carry you back in and just cuddle you up for the rest of the night until he falls asleep too ♡

— KARL

karl jacobs has 2 moods : the wholesome mood and the cursed mood, no in betweens

he can either be very wholesome and send you the cutest hamster pics ever or just send you cursed, unexplainable images like macaronis boiled in gatorade

but even though he's in the cursed mood, his clinginess for you will stay the same ♡ (which you absolutely loved)

you loved both of his moods anyways since it's sweet and funny 🥺💞

today, he was feeling extra wholesome so he would just chill with you on the sofa in your matching frog hoodies and your head on his lap

((yes, he bought matching frog hoodies with you at christmas to wear them together 🥺👉👈))

the two of you would be watching cartoons, especially adventure time!! (it's superior cartoon, you can't change my mind)

then as time passes by, you felt your eyelids grew heavy but you tried fighting it back

yeah, you ended up falling asleep at the end 😔

karl noticed how you grew silent and when he checked on you only to see you sleeping on his lap?

yeah karl's never gonna leave his seat, 100%

mans just smiling to himself from looking at how cute you are in your oversized frog hoodie, asleep on his lap 🥺

GOSH this better happen frequently in the future because if not? he'll commit ARSON

he would try softly play with your hair, making sure his touches were soft so he doesn't wake you up

the cartoon is now long forgotten, his focus is just full on the sweetheart sleeping on his lap 🥺💞

he would constantly check on you and pull the blanket back up to your body if it moves back down, and make sure that he doesn't shift his legs too much because it might wake you up :(

will also try his best to not fall asleep because MAN, HE CAN'T JUST SKIP THIS HISTORICAL MOMENT

but he fell asleep anyways after holding back for around 40 minutes, which is impressive 😳

just like george, he doesn't mind falling asleep in a sitting position 👍 backpain = worth it

[shurisneakers]

harmless (xiii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, smidge of angst, guns, little bit of violence, obnoxious flirting, and kidnapping lol

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: welcome to chaos week >:) this is the first of three updates coming out this week (if i can finish the last one in time).  big thank you to my love @no-shit-sherl0ck for the kidnaped!reader idea, and that one anon who suggested the inator that’s used here. i know you wanted to see it in a zoo but i couldn’t really figure out a way to use that so i referenced it a bunch in previous chapters. oh and also @ginevranights​ for this specific imagery 

Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

Who the fuck kidnaps a villain in this day and age?

Saturday started normally enough.

Nat kicked Bucky’s ass in training, evening the score to 120 and 120. He blames it on the lack of sleep. She tells him that it’s his fault he stayed up late to binge watch 911 Lone Star.

He still thinks it was worth it.

The team’s sunshines and rainbows that morning. Someone had cooked up a batch of pancakes and fresh orange juice. Someone else burnt the bacon but left to feed his dog before anyone could complain.

Nat opened up the newspaper. Different sections went to different people until Bucky got stuck with the entertainment section. Fun, considering that he doesn’t even recognise half the names. He’d have to pretend to be interested until the next rotation.

He watches the orange juice levitate in front of him from the corner of his eye and just assumes that Wanda’s getting a refill even though she could have just asked him to pass it. He smells the next batch of bacon burning and figures that Clint is back.

Sam’s beside him, annoying him about how long it takes for him to read about which new celebrity relationship just ended and Bucky retaliates by reading even slower. Fuck you.

He’s on his second stack of pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup when the doors to the elevator open and Marie steps out, laptop in her hand.

An instant chorus of hello’s and invitations to have some charred bacon resound through the table. She politely declines them with a small smile, instead opening her laptop and placing it in front of Bucky without further ado. 

He looks at her questioningly, slowly swallowing whatever was in his mouth.

“An email for you.” She tuts her head towards it. “It has a video attachment of your friend.”

Bucky has plans to not watch the video in front of everyone, given that the content could range anywhere from you reading out fanfiction about him to a deep-fake of him singing a Whitney Houston song.

Both of which you have done before and would do again, without any hesitation.

“Aren’t you gonna watch it?” Wanda asks from across the table.

He slowly shakes his head no, cutting his stack into smaller pieces.

“If what’s in it is real, it’s important,” Marie stresses.

“What’s in it?” he inquires instead, hoping that the team would stop staring at him. If Marie was implying strongly that he needed to watch then something was wrong.

“Just watch it, man.” Sam’s statement has everyone agreeing with him. Bucky can’t refuse now, and if the team makes fun of him for the next month about how he looks good belting Greatest Love of All, he’s going to personally assassinate you.

He clicks on the email, noticing it came from a throwaway address. Probably untraceable, if the cards are played right. 

The video opens to grainy footage, which is stupid considering modern technological advancements. If this is one more of your stupid LARPing sessions, it could definitely wait till after lunch. 

But, he instantly recognises your silhouette strapped to a chair and suddenly the room feels very cold around him. His hand automatically clutches onto a bead from the bracelet you gave him that still remained tied to his left arm more often than not.

“Speak,” someone commands off camera.

“About what?” You sound annoyed, exasperated even.

“Why you’re here.”

“I’m here because you have unaddressed feelings of childhood insecurity.”

“I warned you to take this seriously.”

Bucky’s eyes widen slightly but his body relaxes the minute he reads the situation. 

The team’s crowded around him, he can feel it. His attention remains on the screen in front of him.

“Who even are you sending this to?” You don’t sound the least bit threatened. “My roommate’s not at home but my cat is and I don’t think she’d care.”

”You’ve made a complete joke out of villains everywhere. Fraternising with the enemies, the Avengers,” he spits the name with so much vitriol. “You’ve erased what it’s like to be truly evil. Turned us into a laughing stock.”

“If it takes one person to undermine your whole movement then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to begin with.” You look at someone outside the lens, face scrunching in distaste. “Also your costume’s ugly.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you trace this voice?” Bucky asks, receiving an immediate confirmation. “Figure out who it is.”

“On it.”

“Tell them. Tell them we are a serious threat and are to be feared.”

"No,” you say resolutely. “You’re an overgrown manchild. Go watch Teletubbies or something.”

“She does not give a shit,” Clint marvels at the situation, a piece of half eaten burnt toast between his fingers.

You didn’t. And if he knew you in the slightest, which he prided himself on at this point, you already had six different ways of getting out of there.

“She knows she’s going to be fine,” Bucky murmurs, returning back to take a bite of his pancakes. “She’s probably still there just to irritate him.”

He zeroes in on your wrist to see if the teleportation watch was still there but no, your wrists are bare. Guess you forgot.

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how a real villain does it.”

“A real villain- what are you, gatekeeping the villain community?” You scoff. “You sound like a fuckin’ incel.”

“Just send them a message,” the guy bellows, hitting a table.

“She’s going to frustrate them to death.” An accurate observation, Sam.

“Okay, jeez, fine.”

Bucky just knows that you rolled your eyes at that moment.

He had faith in you, or in your abilities at the very least. While every wisecrack could possibly inch you closer towards harm, you probably wouldn’t be making them unless you felt completely secure in your situation.

“Help, I’m totally kidnapped and in danger. Save me because I can’t do it myself. This man is too powerful and strong and sooo scary.”

“Do you think she has a strategy?”

“Definitely.”

“You’re not worried, James?” Wanda asks curiously. “I thought she was your friend.”

“She is my friend.” He reaches over to take the jug of orange from across the table. “That’s why I’m not worried.”

“Are you going to fight the Avengers?” you interrupt his endless tirade. “Because that’s a stupid plan. You get how that’s a stupid plan, right?”

“Let them come. I’m prepared.”

“With what? A stick you found outside? A Nerf gun? Man, you’ve tied my hands with fuckin’ zip ties, you can’t be serious-”

“Shut up,” he roared and the stand shakes slightly from where he stamps his feet. “Our army is enough.”

“Wow,” you exhale. “I wish I had your confidence, I really do. I want to study you under a microscope.”

“I have reinforcements.” It sounds like he turns to the camera to address it directly. “This is a warning. Your friends have an hour to find you or things are gonna turn ugly. This is what real evil looks like.”

“Evil dresses in a dollar store Speedo, apparently.” The man pays you no heed, instead picking up the camera. “Hey, sarge, if you’re watching this, don’t bother. I’m fine, it’s not even the real me-”

The camera cuts to black.

“When was this video sent?” Nat looks at Marie, eyebrows drawn together.

“About ten minutes ago.”

Bucky clicks out of the email, determined to get at least half his breakfast in him before he left to see what’s up with your situation. A notification pops up immediately.

evilkneival123@gmail.com just sent you an email.

A video attachment.

“We got another one,” Bucky informs the team, drawing their attention back to the screen from the informal conversation that had erupted between them about what they could do.

This time, there’s a subject line included.

Attack on the Clone.

"Ain’t that a Star Wars movie?" he asks, craning his neck to look at Clint.

"That's Attack of the Clones," Sam corrects. "Probably autocorrect."

Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion at him, jaw sliding outward before falling back into place. Enough times had Sam called him Fucky in the group chat and gotten away with it for him not to be wary.

“Or a code,” Wanda suggests, too many crime thrillers read and podcasts listened in her spare time. She occasionally brought them over to Self Care Saturday, introducing him to the world of true crime as a bit of light content while they snacked on chocolate chip cookies he baked. “Like the Zodiac.”

“For what?” Bucky peers over at her.

“All I remember from that movie is them rolling around a field together,” Clint mutters. “Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to save her.”

“I’m not saving anyone. Look at her, she’s fine.” Is he the only one who saw it?

When he’s met with skeptical looks and no other useful suggestions, he presses play on the video.

This time it's clearer footage. It hardly takes him a second to ascertain where it was.

"That's her lair." It showed the pathway leading up to the flat concrete building, exactly where the intercom should be.

There was a black Sedan parked haphazardly outside, engine still on judging by the sound of the radio blasting an AC/DC song. 

Within a few seconds, someone drags you from the entrance of the lair to the car, despite your very clear protests and opposition, shoving you inside before it takes off in full speed, tires screeching. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., track the car from that video. Check all the CCTV and surveillance footage from around the area that you can find," Bucky commands, taking a sip of orange juice.  

"Why would they send us that?" Clint pipes up. "They make their email untraceable but send us a video of the fuckin' abduction itself?"

"I don't know." Bucky shakes his head, setting his glass down. "She probably convinced them to."

It was an unusual scenario, he realised that. But his eyebrows lower in contemplation, his lip caged between his lip before a thought suddenly occurs to him. A laugh in disbelief almost escapes his throat ad he pushes it down with some freshly cut strawberries. 

"And they listened?"

"I don't think you realise how annoying she can be." He knows, though. He knows. "Bet they regret it, though. I should tell them to keep her for a little longer."

"Voice recognition registers voice to someone named Chad, better known by his alias Soul Crusher. Surveillance footage places the car about thirty minutes away. Exact location sent to your phone GPS."

Soul Crusher. That was worse than Dr. Strange.

"I can make that fifteen." Bucky shrugs, setting down his fork and knife. If his hunch is right, the team didn’t really have to get involved. “See you guys later.”

“Do you want any of us coming with you?” Wanda gestures to the crowd at hand.

“I got it.” He pushes away from the table, depositing his plate in the sink, dropping an extra piece of bacon on the ground for Clint’s dog. “She’ll be alright.”

They watch him trail out of the room briskly, heading up to his room to change.

“Is it just me or is he too casual about this?” Clint continues staring long after he leaves.

“Both of them are weirdos.” Nat pulls open the newspaper again, going back to the sport’s section. “Who knows what goes in their heads.”

“Can confirm that not a lot goes on in his.”

Without Bucky to retaliate or grumble, a Steve walking into the room, sweaty and shiny after training becomes the new subject of jokes that morning.

__

For the first time in months, he’s had to bring a weapon or two along with him. Two revolvers and a couple of knives kept out of plain view. He wouldn’t need more than that anyway.

True to his word, it takes only fifteen minutes to get there, thirteen if he didn’t stop for the chain of ducks that crossed the street.

He’s also dressed in a little more leather than he usually reserves for your meetings. A jacket that brings to act as a windbreaker and tightly laced up combat boots make him look like he either stepped off a runway, or more menacing than usual depending on who was looking.

The GPS points him to an old warehouse near a more subdued part of the city. It was abandoned by the looks of it, and had been for a while judging by the lack of upkeep. Prime real estate.

He pulls off his helmet, hanging it on the handlebar along with his backpack before kicking the stand into place. The bike’s a few metres away just in case they decide to blow something up.

Bucky looks up at the warehouse, assessing the most damage he could do to it if at all it was needed. That thing could barely stand on its own, a grenade would absolutely decimate it. That wasn’t good news for you.

He sighs once before putting on his death glare, straightening out his shoulders into a stature that screams stone-cold, and pushes the door open, gun raised.

A mini-army of people ranging from their early twenties to late thirties stood guard at the entrance, all with rifles pointed at him. He counts fifteen, maybe eighteen.

“Oh, hell no,” a voice erupts from the back, followed by the sound of his gun being thrown to the ground. “No one told me that he was coming.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, his death glare not shifting and Glock not lowering.

“I’m out.” The same guy raises his hands up to show he meant no harm, slowly brushing past Bucky as he squeezed out of the building.

“You got five seconds to leave before I shut this door,” Bucky gives the rest of them an ultimatum. Not like there was a point anyway. SHIELD was sending down some people to account for the one day rise in new morons. 

They all looked at each other, swallowing thickly before raising their weapons.

“I hope he’s giving you good insurance.” The second he finishes his sentence they all cry out in what sounds like a fucking war chant, launching themselves at him. 

______

“They’re here.” Someone presses his ear to the door as if the gunshots and screaming weren’t enough. 

“Brilliant. We’re ready.” Chad picks up the knife, running his finger along the sharp end. You try to see if you can use your Twitter-ordained powers of manifestation for a paper cut.

“How much are you asking them for?” You put forth a query instead, when it disappointingly doesn’t work.

“Asking who for what?” Chad stops his dumb intimidation tactic for a second. 

“You know,” you insist like it was obvious, “my ransom. How much did you ask them to pay?”

“We didn’t-” He looks around at the other people in the room for confirmation. “-we didn’t ask for any.”

“Because I’m invaluable?” Your head droops to the side in mock flattery. “Aw, you guys.”

“We didn’t think of it,” someone from the corner behind you speaks up, coming to the aid of their boss.

“Now that’s just rude.” You tut, shifting maybe an inch or two in your bounds to try and get more comfortable. “Leaving aside your lack of preparation, let’s just assume he bursts in here, desperate and ready to bargain. How much would you ask for?”

“Three million,” Chad says confidently, gathering a nod and sounds of agreement from everyone else.

“Are you serious?” Your jaw drops, a scoff escaping you. “That’s all?”

His self-assurance falters a little bit, you can see it under his 5 Minutes Craft mask.

“Three mill-” You stop mid-sentence. “With this wiring? Ridiculous. Make it ten, I demand it.”

“We’ll ask for fifteen mil,” Chad proposes, his teammates agreeing again, a little more delighted than last time.

“Ask for thirty, you coward,” you argued. “Thirty million and a jet.”

“You’re not worth that much.” The dipshit diagonal to you pipes up with his unwanted and, frankly, useless opinion.

“And you are?” You whip around the best you can. “Henchman number four?”

“Megedagik,” he informs, standing up a little taller now that he was given some importance. “It means ‘killer of many’.”

“Did you just say your name was Mega Dick?” 

“Megedagik,” he corrects.

You stare at him hard before turning away. “Alright, other than Mega Dick here, does anyo-”

A knife lands right next to your feet, driven at least an inch into the ground. You look up at the guy you managed to piss off within four sentences, his face now a beet red. 

“These are brand new, asshole,” you barked, shaking your shoes around. “You’re gonna pay if there’s even a scratch on it.”

“Permission to kill her?” Meg growls, casting a side eye at Chad.

The boss man looks at you thoughtfully, assessing the repercussions of what might happen. You raise an eyebrow.

“Slow and painful,” he settles. 

A small smirk makes its way onto your face. 

“Title of your sex tape,” you quip as the man in the corner storms towards you.

_____

It’s all a flurry, really. A bunch of inexperienced newcomers versus one of the most skilled assassins the world had ever seen? Ten minutes tops.

Bucky doesn’t do any serious damage. A couple of broken bones but only out of necessity, a lot of concussions, and maybe a bullet wound, or three, here and there. 

Most of the time he spends thinking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. He forgot to take his laundry out of the machine. There was a biscotti recipe he had been procrastinating on trying. His succulents needed watering but he could do that once he was back. Was he wearing his good combat pants or was it the pair that had a hole in the pocket?

His left hand thrust outwards to shove someone away while he stuck his right hand into his pocket to check if it had frayed away. The person he pushed slams into a wall with a loud groan and no, his pants didn’t have a hole in them. 

He stops to take a breather, assess what was going on. There are bodies scattered all around, mostly writhing in pain from minor injuries. Someone very bravely stands up, hands posed in front of him in a regular fighting stance.

“You sure about this?” Bucky asks, reaching for one of the concealed knives he hadn’t had a chance of using yet. It twirls rather nimbly between his fingers for something so dangerous, the hilt finally landing in his palm for a sturdy grip.

The man takes one look at the knife before sitting right back down on the ground. 

“Good choice,” his voice drops to an octave lower than his self-esteem. He’s tired of this old routine but it works like a neat little party trick, often getting him the result he wanted. “Where?”

A few fingers point down the hall to the only room whose door was closed.

He makes sure to step over everyone who was lying along the way, ears tuned in to even the smallest of noises just in case one of them decided to attack him from the back. It doesn’t come.

He doesn’t bother creeping down the hallway. With all the ruckus that just went on outside, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious that they had an intruder. 

Bucky kicks in the large steel door with ease, given that it was barely hanging on its hinges. His gun’s raised, muscles tight, and senses on high alert for any immediate threats. 

It lands with a large thud, reverberating through the room. He’s reminded of your first meeting with him.

There’s a chair in the middle of the room with a person tied to it by a mixture of rope and tape. Others found themselves slithering around on the floor in a similar fashion, trying to get out of their bondages.

“Hey, James,” you call out, drawing his attention to you. You were sitting atop a table, legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world, a blade in your hand. 

“You okay?” He tucks the gun into his waistband when he realises that none of the henchmen are going to be going anywhere soon.

“All good.” You hop off the table with a little spring in your step. “Did you bring your bike? I need a ride back to the lair. I think I left the TV on when I was, you know, getting kidnapped.”

“You coulda teleported back home before all of this even happened.” Bucky does a quick assessment of your body to make sure there weren’t any bruises or anything of the sort. “Avoided the whole thing.”

“Don’t have the watch with me.” Odd, since he knows you consider it one of your essentials but it just fuels his theory further. “Besides, if I just quit before we started, they’d keep messing with me over and over again.”

“Do you want me to punch someone’s face in?” He glances around the room at the ones wiggling about on the floor like fucking worms. “I’d be happy to.”

“Nah, I got a few in myself.” You rotate your wrist, other hand still holding onto the knife. “You know what, maybe I’ll have another go.”

He simply makes a noise in acknowledgement before he places a hand on the hem of your shirt, gently reeling you back. “I think you fixed ‘em up real good. That’s enough for today.”

“Fine but only ‘cause you said so.” You huff, looking past him and at the weirdos on the ground. “You hear that? This man just saved your life. Say ‘thank you’.”

A muffled chorus of what sounded like appreciation echoed through the room. Bucky awkwardly looks around.

“Damn right.” You walk over to the guy in charge of the whole event, bending down to his level. “If you ever try to fuck with us again...”

You stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. You hold up the knife to his Adam’s apple. Chad doesn’t dare to move other than the thick swallow.

You raise your finger and flick him in the forehead. “Get a better costume.”

The corner of Bucky’s lip quirks upward.

“Let’s go, sarge,” you announce, standing upright again and making a motion to follow you. “D’you have an extra helmet I could use?”

“Yeah.” He had brought one along in his bag, assuming that you’d need one once he noticed the watch was missing in the footage.  

“Yay.”

The only storage space on his bike was under his seat and it’s just enough for an extra revolver. Clint asked him if it was his way of flirting with someone, give ‘em a quick spin around the city and then show them his gun. If looks could kill, Clint would be 7 feet under. 

“You sure you wanna ride it, though?” He cringes immediately when he realises what it sounds like, waiting for you to smack the innuendo in his face. “We could wait for SHIELD.”

“Don’t really have another choice, Bucky,” you say absentmindedly, strolling out the room as you tossed the knife behind you.

He frowns at your indifference but turns around for a second to look at Chad. The man in question looks back viciously, his grandeur from that morning basically deflated and left to die along with his reputation.

“Might wanna reconsider the name,” Bucky remarks, doing a quick sweep of the area once more. “Soul Crusher.”

He waits until both of you are outside the cell and the door is shut on the ringleader and his circus clowns, handlebar twisted out of place so that they don’t escape for the time being.

“One second,” he calls, touch gently lingering on your forearm to stop you without even thinking twice about it. A famously uncharacteristic move for him.

"Hm?” You don’t even look like you notice his action.

“You sure you’re good?” he asks seriously, actual concern slipping through the question. “Do you need medical assistance?”

“They couldn’t hurt me anyway.” There’s something strange about the way you say it, almost assuredly. “I’m good.”

“Okay,” he concedes, his hand darting back when he realises it was still on your arm. His eyebrows furrow when he realises how instinctively he had reached out in the first place.  He didn’t touch anyone, ever.

“What are we gonna do about them?” you inquire, stepping over someone on the floor to get to the exit.

“Marie told Agent Hill. They’re sending someone over.”

“They’re sending SHIELD for these wannabes?” Someone groans in protest from somewhere and you elect to ignore them. “Ew.”

“Just to make sure confidential information isn’t compromised in any way.” There’s a large bang that comes from the room they just left. Maybe one of them shot their teammate by accident. They were more than capable of doing it.

“I would never,” you exacted a little more solemnly, pushing the door open with your elbow to let the sunlight flood in.

“I know.” He doesn’t realise how dark it was in the warehouse until he steps out into the noon sun. “I’m pretty sure this is more about the fact that you were abducted.”

“For me?” The smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way he kinda likes. Something definitely felt off. “I love being class favourite.”

He doesn’t reply, a small grunt as he twists the handle of the warehouse door upwards, effectively jamming it. 

“Can I drive?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently, disregarding the loud screaming that came from inside as those less injured probably regrouped for a last ditch attempt. 

“No,” he doesn’t hesitate in replying, handing you a helmet and buckling his own securely.

“But I just got kidnapped,” you complained, watching him swing a leg over the bike and straddle it. Okay then. 

“All the more reason for you not to drive right now.” He mentions for you to get on, squinting at the warehouse a few feet away.

“Fine, but next time I’m driving,” you grumble, climbing on the back.

“Do you even know how to?” His head is tilted to look at you from the corner of his eye, voice heavier on account of the obstruction on his face.

The door starts shaking violently and he knows for a fact that it won’t hold up for much longer. Some of those who he had knocked out probably had been shaken awake again for manpower. 

“I can learn.” You take a pause, mischief seeping into your next words. “You can teach me.”

“No.” He didn’t exactly practice what was considered safe, law abiding driving. He just got from one point to another and that’s all he cared about.

“Then I’ll do it myself.” You sound determined. “I’m going to leave a note for us in the lair.”

“You do that.” He revs the engine when something solid hits the metal door. As guessed, their usage of props to push it down faster was coming into play. “Now, can you hold on to something? We need to go.”

If only those idiots just realised that the windows covered by newspapers were right there, ready to be broken.

“Only if you promise to let me drive next time,” you say defiantly, drawing this whole ordeal out.

“Whatever,” he urges. “I promise. Now can we go?”

“Wait for it...” There’s a devilish smile on your face. “One.”

There’s a loud creak as the door finally gives way.

“Two.” The same people you left tied up in the room burst out, almost stumbling over each other in the process.

“Three,” he completes it on his own, not waiting for you to finish because God knows how long you’d stretch it out just for the drama.

Your excited screech of laughter as he narrowly misses a rod that gets thrown at him like a fucking javelin temporarily distracts him from the brain freeze he gets when your arms wind around his waist to hold yourself in place. 

There’s angry screaming and bullets that whiz past in an attempt to get him to stop but a swift turn around a corner, pulling the both of you out of their sight is enough to get rid of them. 

“We should get a few weapons and go back,” you yell over the wind rushing by, barely audible.

“You do that in your own free time,” he shouts in response, yanking you through narrower lanes and less popular streets.

“Maybe I will, you bore.” 

Still, you shut up for the rest of the ride, only grumbling when he stops the bike to tell you that no, you cannot let go just because you want to throw your hands in the air like in the movies.

You hop off when he finally pulls up on the street outside your lair, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. He waits patiently as you unbuckle the helmet, switching off the engine. 

“You gonna drop me off at my door too, now?” You snicker, fingers pulling off the helmet.

He looks at you for a second before dropping the kickstand into place and dismounting from the motorcycle.

“I was kidding.” You laugh, handing him your headgear that he shoves into his backpack. 

“You’re pretty capable of gettin’ abducted along the way.” An absurd notion, considering it’s a short path from the road to the door. 

“Oh, how chivalrous.” You let him tag along anyway, for his peace of mind. 

“My ma didn’t expect any less.” A couple of sharp lessons from Winifred Barnes and Bucky was nothing short of a damn angel. 

You knock on the door three times, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited. 

“Aren’t you the one with the key?” Bucky questions, one hand on his waist. 

The door swung open in the middle of his sentence revealing... you.

Another you.

“Nah, she has it.” Ex-Kidnapped-You raises your head in acknowledgement at Doorway-You.

“Ah.” He fucking knew it. An unnatural sense of smugness blossoms in his chest. 

“Hey,” the both of you said at the same time.

Doorway-You looked way more relaxed, a little less grimy and dishevelled but exactly the same.

“Buck, I see you met my other half,” the you from the doorway greets him. “Or other whole, actually.”

“Sure did.” He sends a glance at Ex-Kidnapped-You.

“You can go on in. Big first day, huh?” Doorway-You refers to the you beside him.

“You wouldn’t believe,” Ex-Kidnaped-You mutters, pushing past the entrance and disappearing inside.

“She gonna be okay?” His gaze trails after your clone.

“Oh yeah, just needs to recharge.” You turn around to make sure she’s fine. “She’s made of some pretty strong carbon, technically almost indestructible.”

No wonder ‘you’ said they couldn’t hurt you.

“Heya, sarge.” You draw his attention back to you. “Always good to see you.”

“Can’t really say the same about you.” 

“Ever the emotional repressor, Mr Barnes. I like this little leather show you got going, did ya wear it just for me?”

He shifts his balance to his other foot, feet slightly wide apart. “Take it that the clone machine finally worked?”

“I was in the middle of celebrating.” You sigh, recalling the events of that morning. “Teleported home for a second to get some champagne and when I came back she was gone.”

“Irresponsible.” He tsks, head shaking in disappointment. 

“Sorry I didn’t take amateur kidnappers into account for my risk factor analysis, Bucky,” you shoot back, pressing on his name for added annoyance. “Anyway, I did the responsible thing. I sent all the evidence I had to you guys.”

“Real clever.” Bucky looks at you in dry amusement. “Attack on the clone? Really?”

“Hey, always make time for a good pun.” You finger gun, lopsided grin on your face. “Did the team like it?”

“They thought it was a typo.” Or a code. He really had Wanda to thank for his big revelation. “Your video didn’t help either.”

“Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.” You laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.

He doesn’t reply, pursing his lip inwards in sympathy, but more so to conceal a smile.

The happiness drops from your face slowly, horror taking its place. “Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.”

“Good job, your machine worked,” he adds helpfully.

“C’mon, there were so many differences,” you whine, the success of your endeavour the last thing on your mind. 

“That is your literal clone,” he points out, only to see you- clone you- walk into the giant box in the corner of the room, bright green light emanating from it like a xerox machine.

“How could they not tell the original apart from a copy?” You look genuinely offended. Insane. “Not even Sam?”

“Guess you’re not unique enough.” A rise and fall of his shoulders signify his attitude towards this whole thing. “Think I like your copy better, too, actually.”

“You’re so mean.” You puff in disbelief. “I’m a 100% original. How many mad scientist teachers do you know?”

“Two.” 

“I don’t mean now, that’s not even the-” You poke at his rock hard chest. “You are so much more annoying than when I first met you.”

He thinks it’s good relationship development.

“I have to deal with you every weekend.” He watches your finger drop from his chest. “Picked it up along the way.”

“Boo hoo, talking like you don’t have deep, deep feelings for me.” You roll your eyes. “I see right through you, Bucky Barnes.”

“Can you see the part that couldn’t give less of a shit?” He gestures to himself. “It’s all of it.”

“You think you’re such a comedian, huh?” You narrow your eyebrows. “How did you know she was a fake then, huh?”

Busted.

“Probably ‘cause you didn’t talk as much today,” he dodges. “Actually had some peace of mind for a change.”

“You knew before you got there, you liar.” You push past his fabrications. “You figured it out before everyone else.”

“You literally put it in the title.”

“Yeah, but the rest of the team saw it too.”

“Rest of the team didn’t know you were building a goddamn clone machine for months.”

“You remembered that?” You pulled away, palm over your heart. “Oh, sarge, you paid attention to me.”

His nose twitches.

“You said it, like, eight hundred times.” He could use both his hands to count the number of references you had offhandedly made in the last three weeks alone.

“Why'd you go save me when you knew it wasn't real?” you continue to challenge relentlessly, knowing fully well that he was fibbing. 

“Because you fuckin’ peer pressured me. Had the whole team around me when you sent your little video during breakfast.”

“Just admit it,” you coo, ignoring all his justifications. “You noticed it was fake me right away but showed up anyway because you’re wildly in love with me.”

“No,” he says stiffly. 

“No as in you won’t admit it you have a crush on me, or no as in you didn’t know it was fake me?”

There was no winning this. 

“Good day to you.” He pulls the motorcycle helmet on to hide the expression that plain as day screamed the former of your two options.

“Also,” you bring up indignantly, “she even got to ride the fucking bike and I’ve been asking to drive it for months now!”

“We-” he chooses his words carefully. “-compromised.”

“Oh, you did?” Your voice lowers at the newfound information, interest piqued. “I’m gonna hold you to that then, whatever it is.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Absolutely does,” you huff. “A promise is legally binding. Blue’s Clues taught me that.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“You’re my knight in leathery armour,” you swoon, switching sides immediately, “Kinda.”

“See you next week,” he says in farewell, determined to leave before you made it worse. “Try not to get killed by then.”

“Why, so you can do it yourself? Protective much?” You pull him back when he starts walking away, laughing slightly. “Wait a second, you weirdo.”

He sighs, staying put anyway, arms crossed impatiently over his chest.

You pull out the pen tucked behind your ear and slowly tap him twice on each shoulder in a makeshift knighting ceremony. “For your sacrifice.”

He rolls his eyes at the ludicrousness, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.

You ignore his lack of enthusiasm, pressing your fingertips to your lips in a small kiss and then to his nose, given that it was the only part of his face you had access to.

“That was for your bravery.” You grin brightly at him and he sure as hell is glad he’s wearing the stupid helmet because he can feel his cheeks light up a bright crimson.

“Thanks.” His voice sounds gruffer than a second ago. He clears his throat.

“Now you’re my knight in leathery armour,” you fawn, nearly falling over yourself dramatically. “Let’s ride into the sunset together. I love you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he calls out over his shoulder, turning away to return to his bike. “I despise you.”

“But you don’t.”

He really didn’t.

also i managed to fuck my phone up really bad so all proceeds from my ko-fi go towards getting it fixed

Next part

[thewritetofreespeech]

MC + Cursed Toddler-fied Boys

prompt: All the boys suffer the same fate as Satan by reading ‘The Forbidden Book of Toddlerization’

Lucifer

You have to wonder why they kept so many cursed books around, just out like this. You would think, like any normal person, with this continuing to happen, that they would keep them locked up or something. But no. They just leave them out for anyone to find….

“I’m going to the meeting!” Lucifer yelled, stamping his foot. His face twist in a petulant frown. It would be rather adorable, if you hadn’t been arguing with him for the past 20 minutes

“Lucifer, we talked about this. You can’t go to the meeting. You need to stay here.”

“No! I wanna go to the meeting! It’s very important and everyone is counting on me!” His arms are wailing now as he stamped his foot more.

Of course, you couldn’t let him go to the first of the month meeting like this. His pride would be wounded beyond compare if anyone else saw him like this. But reasoning with him wasn’t working. You had to resort to more, unsavory tactic to win. “But the meeting was cancelled. Lord Diavolo called earlier to let me know.”

Lucifer stopped stamping his feet and waving his arms to look at you with a vacant expression you didn’t know he could muster. “Really?”

Gods help you. “Yes, really.”

He seemed to think about this for a moment before he beamed, “ok!” His mood instantly brightening. “I believe you, because [Y/N] would never lie to me.” ‘Forgive me Lucifer’ You think to yourself. “What are we gonna do instead then?”

“Why don’t we play a game instead to pass the time? Would you like that?”

“I know chess!” He exclaimed loudly. “Let’s play that.”

Of course, knowing and being good at it were two different things. In this state you were actually able to beat Lucifer several times. When he retuned to normal the day was ‘conveniently’ put away for sometime after.

Mammon

“Mammon. Please. I’ll just be gone for a minute.”

“Nooooooo!” Mammon wailed when you tried to get up again. Clinging to your waist tightly to keep you on the couch. “Onii-chan said you had to stay with me! Stay with me! Stay with me!”

After reading The Forbidden Book of Toddlerization, Mammon had, of course, reverted to the personality of a small child. His brother made fun of him, say ‘what’s the difference’, but Lucifer knew that this could be a disaster if he was set to wander free in this state across the Devildom. So he sat you to babysit him.

“Mammon, I promise I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get us some snacks for our movie.”

“Then let me come with you!” He whined, still clinging to you. In this state it seemed he had also taken on the personality of a baby duck. Imprinting on you and following you around everywhere you went in his room. He hadn’t left you alone for 5 seconds since he got this way. “I promise I’ll be good!”

“It’s not a question of you being good or bad Mammon-chan.” He liked to be called Mammon-chan right now. “It’s that you need to stay here. If someone sees you like this well…they could use it to tease you.”

“No…I don’t want to be teased anymore….” His voice was low, and sad. His bright eyes looking on the verge of tears, like kids do when they’re said, before he buried his face into your side. “Mammon-chan doesn’t want to be made fun of anymore. Mammon-chan also doesn’t want to be alone anymore.”

You sigh. Unable to argue with him when he was like this. Your hand lifted to pet his head, which he seemed to appreciate, before you text Satan to bring you some snacks. He was always reliable and would do it for you.

Once the affects of the book had worn off, Mammon denied any of this happening. The mere mention would cause his face to turn red and yell about how, “that didn’t happen!” You almost wish you had taken a video of it to show him. Guess you would just have to keep Mammon-chan forever in your heart.

Levi

You went to Levi’s room after class to check on him in his….condition.

Since he did remote learning a lot of the time, being an otaku, it was pretty easy to keep him away from people so they did see him in the current state he was in. Apparently as a toddler he didn’t like being around people either.

So, you had set him up comfortably in his room before heading to class. Promising to come back that afternoon to be with him.

“Levi! I’m back! How are you—what are you doing?!?!”

“Playing with my toys.” Levi replied, with an obvious expression, as a sea of toys stretch out in front of him where he laid on his belly on the floor.

Your brain stopped. Completely at a loss for words. Levi was going to kill you when he returned to normal, because toddler-Levi, left unattended, had unboxed nearly all of his figurines from their packaging. Some of which were incredibly rare, and unable to get anymore.

“I just…I mean…Why?? Why would you do this??”

“They’re my toys.” Levi replied with a pout. Sitting up. “I can do what I want with them. What’s the point in having neat toys if you aren’t going to play with them??”

He did have a point there. But adult-Levi was going to be so mad!

“Do you want to play with me?” The demon asked with a hopeful expression. “You can even be blue Ruri-chan.” The limited edition, color swap Ruri-chan from 1999. He was gonna blow a gasket!

“Yeah. Ok.” But then again, when were you ever going to be able to touch them again.

As expected, Levi totally lost it when he came to his senses. Of course, there was no one to blame but himself, in the end, so he just had to be upset and mope alone. Thankfully, none of them were broken or beyond just out of their originally packaging. He bought them all clear showcase boxes for his ‘ruined’ figurines. Some of them he could rebuy to replace; which seemed to make him happy to have two.

Satan

It had been hours since the affects of the book had taken ahold of Satan. You were starting to wonder if they would ever wear off.

Lucifer had left in search of another book, one that might help speed the process along, and left his younger brother in your care. Of course you were happy to help, but you were getting nervous you would never see the old Satan again.

“[Y/N]-chan?” You look up from your phone, waiting for Lucifer to text you back, to see the blonde demon looking timidly at you from around the corner. 

“What is it Satan?”

“Would you….read to me?” His hands holding out the small children’s book he had some how found in the piles of books covering his room.

You smile softly at him. Your heart warmed by his request. “Of course,” you tell him, and the demon scampered over to sit on the bed beside you. His long legs and body tucked neatly into you as he waited for you to tell him the story of a little lost chicken and it’s journey back home. “[Y/N] tells the best stories!”

After 3 stories, he had fallen asleep. When he woke up, Satan was back to normal. He doesn’t answer your questions on where the children’s books had come from, but you spot the red & gold spines on his book shelves sometimes.

Asmo

There was no denying that Asmo was fascinated by art and all things beautiful. He went on and on about it any chance he got. So you shouldn’t have really been surprised when his toddlerfied self just wanted to draw all day.

“Look, look [Y/N]-chan! I finished another one!”

“That’s great Asmo.” You praise. Just like you had done with all the other ones he had handed to you. “Wow! This is really great! Is that a….chicken?”

“No, silly! That’s the white horse for our carriage when we get married!” The demon beamed, then shuffled over on his knees to instruct you on his picture properly. “That’s you, and that’s me. That’s the princess carriage that’s going to ride us off into the sunset. That’s Solomon and Simeon throwing flowers at us. That’s my brothers crying because I got to marry [Y/N]-chan and they didn’t.”

“You certainly seem to have all the parts here.” You praise. Giggling at his enthusiasm and picture.

“I want to have a perfect picture of when we get married. Because I love [Y/N]-chan! And we’re gonna get married and live happily ever after.” He replied, with certainty, with a smile.

“Well, I’ll be glad for that. Why don’t you draw me our perfect house for after we get married?” Asmo scampered off and did just that.

When Asmo came to, and back to his normal self, he took all the pictures he had drawn and framed them. Forcing his brothers and Solomon to take a tour of his mini-art gallery. The piece ‘Marriage of Two Bonded Souls’ was met with some controversy.

Beel

Beel, in his younger days, seemed to have boundless energy. Or you at least had to assume he did, because ever since he had read that stupid book he had been running around.

Lucifer had told you to take him outside. Irritated at hearing his large feet clump around the house, but trying not to show it since it wasn’t his fault. He even let you both take Cerberus outside to help run Beel out. It would be good for the pup too. Get some exercise, he said.

That had been sometime ago, and it seemed baby-Beel and Cerberus were an even match in energy. They had been running around, chasing each other, and play fighting in the back yard all afternoon. You were tired just watching them.

“Beel! Do you want to come in? I think it’s time for a break.”

Both Beel and Cerberus pop their heads up, in a comical and adorable unison head tilt, before jogging over to you. “Break time means snack time right?!”

You chuckle a little. Somethings never changed. “I brought some apple slices & peanut butter for you, for now. We can get you something bigger when we go inside.”

Beel grinned and sat in the grass with the container. “I like apple slices!”

“You do hn?” You don’t think you’ve seen Beel eat an actual fruit on its own. It was usually attached to, baked in, or covered in something, to get him to eat it.

“Yep! They’re crunchy and sweet. Just like you! Though, I guess you aren’t crunchy. Do you want one of my apple slices [Y/N]?”

You blush a little at Beel’s bright, unwavering expression. How could he look so innocent while still looking like that?

He finished his apple slices, minus one, before asking if he could go play again. You let him, but then all of a sudden he spotted playing with Cerberus and stood straight up. Seeming confused on how he got out here and what was going on. “Did I eat an apple? I haven’t had one since….do you think we have more in the kitchen?”

Belphie

It was honestly hard to tell if Belphie was under the spell of the forbidden book or not. He’d been asleep for most of the time; which was not uncommon for him. Then he would wake up and whine a little about something; again, not uncommon for him. Then he would take another nap.

You had figure out that he was still under it’s spell by the requests he was making when he woke up. Juice boxes. More plushies. His ‘blankie’. Eventually it would run its course though, and Belphie would be back to his own sleepy eyed, grown up self. “[Y/N]?”

You walk over to the bed when the demon called your name. The boy half sitting up, but still tucked under his covers. “What is it Belphie?”

“I can’t sleep.” He stated. Which seemed ridiculous since he had been sleeping most of the day. “I miss Lilli. And Be-be. Can you sleep with me?”

You blink at little at the request. You supposed it made since. Kids often wanted someone to sleep with them, so they didn’t have bad dreams or could keep them safe. Maybe that’s why he had been sleeping so much. Because he hadn’t been sleeping well, just sleep.

“Sure Belphie. I’ll lay down with you.” The demon smiled softly, sleepy, before he scooted over to give you some space to lay next to him.

He slept for a while this last time. Clinging onto you in his sleep, with a soft smile on his face. When he woke up, it seemed he was back to normal. “Gosh [Y/N]. If you wanted to sleep with me, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to trick me with that lame book.”

[legend-of-zelda-voices]

Compilation Post

Caitlyn Bairstow

~~

~ Thanks to @squid-ink-personal, @shirebeast, @losswoods, @the-wicked-bitch-of-the-best, @novirp13, @crowndaz, and @soflashtastic for allowing me to use their art in my collage! More info at the bottom of the page. ~

~~

First Role as Link: Cadence of Hyrule

Other LoZ Roles: (None)

Main LU character: Cadence of Hyrule Link/Rhythm/Cadenza/Tempo/Beat/Treble/etc. (Not actually in LU, but there are multiple fanmade versions inspired by LU with various names)

Alternate LU Voice for: (None)

Some characters with the same voice:

Lucky (Super Lucky's Tale), Mary (Crypt of the Necrodancer), Suna (Mega Man: Fully Charged), Glitch (Spy Kids: Mission Critical), Miss Hiss (Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own), Mia (Lego Friends Holiday Special), Kobo and Shreya (Aegis Defenders), Cony and Bommbi (Line Rangers), Blue Bobbin (My Little Pony), Plink (Gigantosaurus)

...

In the game:

Cadence of Hyrule

Original Post

_______________________

Speaking

Voice Compilation (Various Voices)

She says a line as a boy character at 0:53.

Original Post

---

Lucky from Super Lucky's Tale

Some times are 0:52, 1:42, 2:39, 3:47, 6:56, 7:12, 10:10, 10:12, 10:49, 13:23, 18:00, 19:32, 19:34, 19:48, 20:50, and 21:49.

Times are 0:32 and 0:42.

Says "Come on!" in this video.

Original Post

---

Bommbi and Cony from LINE Rangers

Link to YouTube Video with Time Stamps 1:03 - 1:23

Bommbi is the one that explodes. Times are 1:04 and 1:18.

Cony is the rabbit with wings. One time she speaks is 0:38.

I think this is an episode that was made to promote an app.

This voice and the post before are the only "boy" voices that I could find by the actress.

Original Post

---

Caitlyn Bairstow the voice actress

An interview with the voice actress.

Original Post

_______________________

Singing

"Opposite's Days of Cosplay" (12 Days of Christmas Parody) from Youtube Channel

Used audiospeedchanger to see what the song sounded like when pitched down 4 semitones.

-3 semitones here

Original Post with Lyrics

---

"I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas!" in YouTube Channel Collab Video

Song is between 1:59:00 - 2:02:08, or see the video below

This is a duet between the actress and another person.

The other person tends to overpower her voice, so it's kind of difficult to hear her.

Some lines where you can hear her a little better are at 2:00:10, 2:00:14, 2:00:48, 2:01:00, 2:01:17, 2:01:25, 2:01:34, and 2:01:42.

Some lines where you can hear her a little better are at 1:09, 1:13, 1:46, 1:59, 2:15, 2:24, 2:32, and 2:40.

It was very difficult to find songs for this actress.

Original Post with Lyrics

_______________________

~~

Thanks again to those who let me use their art in the picture! It was fun to make and I found so many cool designs in all kinds of unique art styles!

If Tumblr ruins the quality of the picture as it tends to do, click on it to make it clearer. You can also check out the full pictures below.

Specific Pictures Used:

@squid-ink-personal [Here]

@shirebeast [Here] [Here]

@losswoods [Here] [Here]

@the-wicked-bitch-of-the-best [Here] [Here] [Here] [Here] [Here]

@novirp13 [Here] [Here] [Here] [Here]

@crowndaz [Here] [Here] [Here]

@soflashtastic [Here]

I used a picture from Linked Universe as the background

I also tried to edit a picture of LU Legend to look like Cadence of Hyrule Link (+Marin→Cadence) [Here]

~

These are some nice pictures I found too, but the artists didn't respond when I asked them if I could use their art / I found them after I already made the picture, so I'm not putting them in the collage: [Here], [Here] [Here] [Here], [Here]

Also, if there's a design that's not in here, I probably just didn't see it! Feel free to tell me about anything I missed!

~~

[imagintheworldaway]

Together

Anonymous asked: Hello! Can you do a Harryxfem! Reader where people see how Harry looks at the reader (calorie challenge- rematch (time stamp 27:17)) and the reader is so oblivious to Harry’s feeling for her because he broke up with his long-term ex last fall and she doesn’t want to read deep into it and just keeps telling people that they’re just friends even though everyone can see past the bull crap and keeps shipping them because they’re very similar and meant to be and after months of Harry pinning after her he tries to move on and go on dates (which fails but she doesn’t know that it’s not working out for him ) so she starts seeing someone and magically somehow end up together and become the “it” couple because of how blunt and honest they are. Sorry that was long! Hope you can write it thanks!

A/N Good gosh this is a long one. I hope you enjoy! Requests are open 

Sitting on the sofa next to Cal, snuggled in a mountain of blankets in Harrys apartment whilst the boys filmed a video was always fun. They were filming the 100,000 calorie challenge and it was JJ, Vik , Cal and Harrys turn to be eating the calories. We were sat watching JJ as he revealed he had absolutely failed the challenge to everyones surprise. The boys all started to complain as I giggled at the failure which was JJ right now. I felt a slight nudge on my side and Cal not so discreetly nodding towards Harry, I looked over at him and smiled but he averted his gaze from me and buried his head into the massive bear still complaining at JJ as it was revealed he had messed up the challenge even more by starting before the official time. 

After JJ’s little mess up they decided to make the fried mars bars, and I feel as though even saying it is cause for disaster. The boys were all crowded around the counter, just making a mess really, not much surprise there. I was happy in my own little world scrolling through instagram with the boys chatter in the background when I started to smell something burning and a mass amount of smoke from the boys. “Oh my god you idiots” I said matter of factly before grabbing the pan and holding it out the window, not wanting the apartment to stink of burnt mars bars as the guys tried to switch off the fire alarm. 

Once everything had calmed down I started to clean up as the boys ate the left over chocolates. “ you don’t have to clean up Y/N” Harry said to me as he bought over a plate to the sink. “Its ok I don’t mind, something to do at least” I smiled up at him. “You sure? I feel bad” he said scratching his shoulder and giving me an awkward smile. “I’m sure, go enjoy your food” I giggled pushing the boy away from me slightly. I finished up the washing as the boys chatted over their takeaways trying to figure out how many calories they were up to. I popped the remaining dishes in the dish washer and popped it on for the boys. 

Once they had finished Cal and I bid the boys goodbye and hoped in an Uber, we lived in the same apartment complex so it made sense that we shared rides just about everywhere. “Soooo” cal started tapping his his legs to the beat of the song that the Uber driver had popped on for us. i gave him a questioning glance as I sent my text to Harry, informing him I had popped the dish washer on and for him not to forget about it. “When are you two finally going to get together” Cal said peering over my shoulder and trying to take a peek at my texts with Harry. I just scoffed switching off my phone and turning my head to look at Cal. “Look he got out of a long term relationship not even six months ago, he just needs a friend right now, and that’s all I am, a friend, plus even if he hadn’t just gotten out of a relationship, well I don’t think he’d be interested in me anyway, like I said I’m just a friend” I shrugged to Cal giving him a half smile trying to cover the sadness which was evident on my face. “I don’t know Y/N if you ask me, or well any of the lads he looks at you like your a gift here gracing us all with your presence. like your some type of angel, he likes you, he really does, he’s just scared to ruin what you have” Cal stated as we hoped out the uber and made our ways into the lift. “Well I don’t want to sound rude, but I didn’t ask Cal, I don’t need my hopes being brought up just for it all to be speculation.” I stated matter of factly. “This is me, I’ll see you later yh?” I questioned Cal who just pursed his lips and nodded to me giving a small see ya. 

I really wasn’t trying to be rude but I had had my heartbroken so many times, and I don’t want to start getting my hopes up about Harry if it is just all speculation and some sort of narrative the lads were making up for themselves. I slumped down on my bed and posted a selfie on instagram asking people what they want to know about me. I wasn’t a huge YouTuber but I did have a large instagram following meaning the questions flooded in within an instant. There was the usual that I answered such as my favourite colour, what am I having for dinner, best place I had ever visited and so on. After a few more generic questions someone asked what my favourite picture was. I scrolled through my camera roll and found one of Harry and I at winter wonderland. we were both wearing Santa hats and he was giving me a piggy bag as I held onto a large teddy he had won me moments before. I captioned it ‘Christmas with my Bestfriend, look at how goofy he looks @wroetoshaw’ I giggled as I posted the pic remembering that day. it was a rare day off for the both of us and with Harrys break up still fresh I decided we should go to Winter Wonderland and just have fun. Which we did, it was one of my most treasured memories with him. He had taken his breakup so hard that I felt it was important that he had a friend around who could take the crying and emotions, someone to just cuddle with and forget about the world. And over the past few months I realised that my feelings for Harry had grown, but he was still hurting and there was no way that I was being any boys re-bound. 

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to blaring light through the blinds of my lounge. I groaned to myself before getting up and trudging to my bedroom to sort myself out. i looked at my phone and I had a few texts from Harry. I smiled as I read them. 

‘Thank you! Almost forgot, you are honestly the best Xx’

‘You alive???? Xx’

‘Good night Xx’

‘Like the insta pic’

I furrowed my eyebrows at the last text. It was sent only minutes after the goodnight text and it didn’t have any of the kisses we usually put on the end of our texts to each other. I also hadn’t got a good morning text from Harry, that was particularly strange because I have always gotten a Good morning and Good night text from him for the past few months with out fail. I just shrugged it off before replying, 

‘Haha no problem! I fell asleep as soon as I got home I’m sorry :( wanna meet up later? Xx’

I smiled at my reply before going to my bedroom and changing to look more presentable. I checked my phone and it was almost lunch meaning Cal was coming over to film a video with me. just as I re adjusted my hair for the a millionth time I heard a knock on the door signalling that cal was here. “Hello stranger” I smiled letting him into my apartment with the array of crisps and snacks he had in his arms. We were filming a British corner shop mukbang whilst answering twitter questions. As Cal settled himself in my studio I helped by opening the array of snacks and cans of drink that he had bought for us. “Hey really weird question but have you heard from Harry today?” I questioned trying not to sound so desperate as to the whereabouts of the boy. “Uh yh messaging me all morning, think he’s got something on tonight. He not told you?” Cal looked up from the array of junk raising his eyebrows at me as I just shook my head in disbelief that he was ignoring me. As we settled in our seats and I turned the camera on I sent Harry a quick text. 

‘Hey have I done something wrong?? :( Xx’ 

The video was going amazing. Cal and I just naturally bounced off of each other and the questions the fans were giving us were quite juicy. “Alright, alright, I’ve got one. Y/N has Harry asked you out yet or is he still being a melt? From @CalFreezy” I giggled at the question and raised my eyebrows at Cal. “These are meant to be from Fans” I retorted to Cal telling him off a little. “Yh Freezy is your biggest fan he’s always nattering on about you and talking about you moving in with them when Harry gets the guts” Cal defended himself causing me to burst out laughing. “Well we all know Harry and I are friends, I love him very much but that’s as deep as it goes” I replied to Cals previous question from Freezy, slight sadness barely evident in my voice. “Is that the only thing that goes deep” Cal stated before bursting out laughing at himself and falling back in his chair ultimately falling off of it causing me to laugh. “Well that’s it for today guys thank you for watching and thanks to this idiot for joining me” I smiled at the camera before shutting it off and helping Cal from the floor. 

“You really need to stop that you know? You can’t force anything to happen” I said matter of factly towards cal as he nibbled on some Pringles. “You see Y/N I’m actually Cal from the future and I’m just stating facts” he gave me a cheesy grin as I tutted at him and rolled my eyes. I was taken out of my trance by a text from my phone. “Alright ditch me for lover boy” Cal called after me. I opened my phone to see it was from Harry but it wasn’t what I was expecting. 

‘Hey Y/N, we shouldn’t hang out anymore it makes Belle uncomfortable.’ 

“Cal what the fuck is this” I shouted to my friend. I heard the thudding of his feet and turned around to show him the message I had just received. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Belle Belle Belle Oh Belle, her really?” Cal scrunched his nose up at me. “Ummm elaborate, who’s Belle?” I pressed for him to release more info to me. “Oh Harry went on a date with her like three weeks ago, looks like it worked out, well for them I guess” Cal shrugged piecing the different parts of the puzzle together for me. “Oh, wow, so he is just gonna drop me like that, like I’m, I’m nothing, like i wasn’t the one there for him when he was mourning over his last breakup. Well that’s a kick in the teeth” I said starting to sniffle, tears threatening to break their way out of my eyes and my mood instantly dropping to nothing. “Hey no don’t cry” Cal said engulfing me in a hug, which I gladly melted into. “If he couldn’t see what he had with you then that boy is more blind than we all thought.” Cal reassured me rubbing my back. “Plus your make up looks too nice to cry it off” Cal said catching a stray tear from my face and making me giggle a little. “Oh Cal why can’t we fall in love?” I questioned sniffing and straightening out my clothes. “Because that would be like fucking my sister and that’s weird” Cal stated making me giggle. 

I don’t think anyone could quite get their heads wrapped around the fact that Harry was with someone new, especially because that someone was not me. For the next month I got fans tweeting me asking if Harry and I had broken up or if he had gone crazy. I also got sorry looks from my friends. Always being placed in the furthest seat away from Harry, always given excuses as to why I couldn’t come to shoots. It sucked majorly. And the worst part about all of this is everyone felt like they had to tread on eggshells around me, as if I wasn’t a fully grown woman who could handle these situations. 

I knocked on Simons apartment door before he opened it replying to someone about something. “Oh Y/N you alright” he said quickly closing the door a little. “Yh Talia said I could pop round and grab my camera that she borrowed.” I said smiling at the lanky man. “Oh yh well um come in, just be careful yh” Simon nodded at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and just nodded at his comment following him through to the living room. And as soon as I saw the tall figure sat next to Harry with an unimpressed look on her face I realised why Simon gave me such a warning. “Heyyyy Y/N Is here” Ethan called standing up giving me a hug making me giggle a little. “Yh Talia knicked my camera again” I stated smiling at the girl who blushed a little realising she still hadn’t returned my device. “Oh so that’s Y/N” a snotty voice said causing everyone to quiet down and all eyes turning in her direction. “Yup, the one and only” I smiled back at her trying to be as nice as possible. “Belle right? Nice to meet you” I smiled back at her trying to make conversation in the silent room. I rocked back and forth on my heels for a while, Belle gave me a good look up and down, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips as if wanting to comment something. Before she could I saw Harry whisper something to her and she scoffed. “If I have an opinion I’m going to say it. And I have many about her” Belle said loud enough for everyone to hear whilst pointing at me. “Here I found it” Talia smiled at me handing me my camera before noticing the mood of the room. 

“Ok well, I will be off then, lovely to see you all and to meet you Belle” I stated the last part through gritted teeth before spinning around and making my way to the door. “Even worse from the back” I heard Belle try and whisper to I presume Harry. I stopped in my tracks and raised my eyebrows. The audacity of this girl, how dare she disrespect me in front of all my friends. I turned around to meet her eyes with a sickeningly sweet smile on my face. Before I could say anything though Talia butted in. “You know what, you do not talk to my friend like that, I have barely known you a month and I am so sick of you already, please leave before I do or say something I regret” she smiled at Belle joining me by my side and linking arms with me. Belle just looked around at everyone, with everyone just averting their gaze and waiting for something big to happen. All she did was huff, grabbing Harrys hand and storming out of the apartment with him. 

“Jesus Y/N what did you do to make him choose her, she’s like an angry controlling goblin” Ethan huffed as soon as we all heard the door close. “Hey, I got cut off a long time ago, ask him not me” I giggled before thanking Talia and leaving the apartment to go home. 

I was lounging around my apartment, Ethans words spiralling around my head. I decided tonight was for me. I popped on my favourite movie and rummaged through my freezer finding some ben and Jerrys and starting to scoff down the tub. This sofa must be super man or something because I had soon fallen asleep, I was only awoken by loud continuous knocking at my door. I regained my focus and gaged my surrounding before wrapping a blanket around myself and making my way to the door. As soon as I opened it I was pulled into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so fucking sorry, its you its always been you, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just needed someone to fill the void and she was ok for a week but I need you. You are all I need, all I want, please forgive me I love you” as much as I just wanted to melt into his arms I pulled my self back so that we were an arm lengths apart. “You best come in” I sighed. I finished the teas and made my way over to Harry, passing him his favourite mug of mine. I crossed my legs as we sat at opposite ends of the sofa in silence. 

“What about Belle?” I broke the silence, harry whipped his head up to look at me. “Look I’m so sorry she was a mistake and I should never have even given her shot. She’s so nasty and I could never forgive myself. This past month without you has felt like my heart was ripped in two. I’ve been so miserable and then when I saw you today I felt like I had been given a new chance at life. I get it if you hate me but I need you so bad and I cant live without you.” Harry opened his heart to me for the second time that evening. “You’re such a dummy Harry” I said with a sigh placing my mug on the coffee table. Harry looked at me as if he was broken by the words I just said. I just shook my head at him before leaning over and planting a soft kiss on his lips. The moment seemed to last forever. It was like in the movies when time slowed down and fireworks erupted around the couple who after all their trials and tribulations finally found each other. “I can’t help but love you Harry” I whispered only inches from his face as I pulled back for air, a sly grin on my face. Harrys arms snaked around my wait brining me into him for another soft kiss. i leant my head on his chest listening to his heart, thumping like it was going to break out and slap me in the face. “So what now” harry mumbled into my hair. I leant up so my eyes met his. “Well you will ask me on a date to a nice restaurant where we end up getting a little too drunk. Then we walk along the Thames, watching people walk by when at the perfect moment when the city goes silent you ask me to be your girlfriend and then we come back here and spend the night together. But with a little more physical activity than were used to” I grinned at him causing him to chuckle. “So you forgive me?” He said looking at me with pleading eyes. “God yes I forgive you, I could never be mad at you” I smiled at him. How could I? I did truly love him and it was as simple as that. 

After a few months, and the date Harry had promised, we told our friends and announced to our followers that we had finally decided to get together. apparently it was quite obvious as the boys had started taking bets as to when we would tell them about our new relationship. The fans seemed to love it as well, always receiving amazing and supportive comments on all of our posts and videos that we did together. Although we were young I think people saw how care free and happy we made each other. Most importantly how much we loved each other.

[tsuki-sennin]

We are now within the second third or so of Kamen Rider Revice! It's been a pretty wild journey so far, and I'm glad ya'll enjoy these liveblog/recaps/review hybrids, even if only mildly. I've only done something like this once before, when Chuggaaconroy remade his LP of EarthBound a few years ago and I gave my own thoughts/additional commentary as I watched along.

Because I don't know how to tag, they're basically lost in an endless sea of reblogs, so I can't find them, but I had a very fun time doing it anyway, so getting to do something similar to it again feels like a fun way to spend my time. And since these're weekly rather than daily, I can give myself a bit more breathing room! How bout that, eh?

Now, without further ado... Spoilers, I guess...

GIFU WILL BE REAL

IN 52 MINUTES

-Probably not the exact time frame, but comic book time is weird like that.

-And here we see Kudo eating a juicy steak. Yes, I finally remembered Lawyer Guy's name too, shush.

-Ohhhh, those girls are dressed like Aguilera-sama. That's... that brings up a lot of questions. Does he have a type for Japanese women in flamenco dresses?

-How does he select who is worthy to undergo Giftex process? I mean, aside from summoning the contracted demons, I haven't seen Olteca do much. Hell, Julio's been doing more underhanded stuff! Is it seniority?

-Dude, don't stab your steak like that, plates are expensive!

-Amahiko's like "Oh, fuck, I didn't sign up for that."

-HE'S EVEN MORE SCARED OF SAKURA I CAN'T-

-Ohhhhhhhhh, the Mammoth! I just thought they could directly summon it like they do with the Gifu Juniors, and even after we learned more about how they work, I just figured they stamped somebody directly. That's some subtle-ass foreshadowing!

-Hey, don't tell Hiromicchi to shut up, George. You just dropped that on him!

-Y'know, I'd tell you to smash the Gifu Stamp and be done with it but my years of experience dealing with cursed artifacts in video games and comic books made me aware that this is an extremely risky and terrible idea.

-I'm absolutely certain that George has worked for the SCP Foundation at some point, in which case that'd explain a lot about him.

-Oh my god, Commander Wakabayashi's literally doing the Jerma sus face. ...also, I love that extremely blurry Zero-One figure.

-See, this is why we double check our alarms and schedules Sakura.

-5 AM, JESUS CHRIST GEN WHAT KIND OF PANCAKES ARE YOU MAKING!? ...and more importantly, can I have some?

-No, don't run from the pancakes, come back!

-I don't really have room to criticize anybody's sleeping habits, I somehow always wake before at 7 AM and lie in bed struggling to get up.

-It's a lovely morning in the village, and you are a horrible Vice.

-Ooooooh, there he is!

-Ahhhhh, wow, that Kamen Rider Jeanne sure is cool, huh Sakura~? ...for some reason, I keep forgetting that Kamen Riders are like... actual superheroes in-universe in these shows. I never really got that vibe in Saber because of how few extras there were because of the pandemic, so I kinda just assumed that the Sword of Logos controlled all the media about them to keep people out of danger, or because it's Isaac, hog all the power of the Wonder Ridebooks to himself.

-"Yabai" indeed.

-I'm curious now, how often does a Kamen Rider find themselves on World Star Hip Hop? I know Tomoko became a Kamen Rider fan in Fourze by watching low-res recordings of the Showa Riders, there was a running gag early on in Saber about Mei recording and posting fights, Gaim was basically all about that for a while, Drive was on national TV during the Nira arc, and of course the Riders of each season inevitably end up all over the news for one reason or another, but...

-Like, is it possible that Eiji once intervened during a brawl at an influencer convention and then had to see himself trend on Twitter as "Transforming Asian Hobo"? Does Sento deliberately try to invoke this every chance he gets because he absolutely would. Is there like a whole branch of Kamen Rider-based cryptozoology and subsequently a whole genre of Creepypasta, YouTube clickbait, and pornhub tags? Do Trevor Noah and John Oliver dedicate whole segments to them? Is there a reason why I'm asking all the wrong world-building questions?

-Mmmm, public transit. Delicious.

-DON'T GRAB PAPA YOU DICK

-Don't worry Vice, sometimes I forget about important villains too. But no longer!

-I assume he just mopped those floors, he has every right to be pissed!

-Ah, so... does the glue on the eggshell shield last forever? Cause that's some powerful-ass glue if it does, it'd almost be too good for home projects.

-Wow, none of Sakura's friends have any faith in her taste in men. If I were her, I'd be mortally offended.

-WELL DON'T GRAB HER LIKE THAT!

-Oh hi, Wakabayashi. ...is it seriously only behind a hologram?

-You get the bag and fumble it, George gets the bag, flips it and tumbles it.

-Are you proud of yourself?! You made Hiromicchi cry!

-I'm sad now :(

-This show is heading to some really dark places, holy fuck. I... I feel uncomfortable, I think I'm gonna fast forward a little bit.

-Okay, Kudou, I'm sorry you've gotten cucked out of your hopes and dreams by the extremely unfair Japanese criminal legal system. But like... I'm still reeling.

-Y'know, you guys seem way too calm for an active school intruder situation.

-Yeah, punch that motherfucker!

-Jesus Christ, this show.

-Did nobody notice the weird mariachi guy walking around!? I think that'd be a lot more noteworthy than a random creeper like Amahiko.

-Nothing wrong with a fast lane life once in a while!

-Ooooooh, the shield can be used for the OsutoderuHammer50! That's cool!

-Kick his ass Sakura!

-YES! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!

-Oh my god, the Remixes can become one big abomination. ...I absolutely shudder to imagine what it'd look like when they all combine.

-Oh God, I almost forgot about Hiromicchi!

-YOU BITCH

-OH MY GOD I WAS KIDDING HE REALLY DOES MAKE A JERMA IMPOSTOR FACE

-Hiromicchi :(

-We were too late, Ikki-nii. Didn't help that George threw him the fucking stamp!

-Ah, so Chameleon Guy doesn't like his original body?

-Everything I learn about the Deadmans makes me wanna take a shower.

-It kinda surprises me how Olteca is the bigger asshole between himself and Julio, since Colonel Zol/Golden Wolf Man was a Nazi and Dr. Shinigami/Ikadevil was just some guy, comparatively speaking. I still don't buy into the idea that Julio wasn't in on Aguilera's role in the Giftex plan, given his past sadism and how he forced Amahiko into becoming a Phase 2 Deadman, but hey, maybe we'll get an explanation next episode.

-So, Aguilera's not the Great Leader, got it. On the one hand, we don't really have female main villains, so I guess I can get mad at Toei and Kinoshita for cucking me out of a #Girlboss final villain. On the other, this means that there's a chance we'll get a deeply compelling redemption arc or some kind of agreement between her and the Igarashi fam, or some sort of genuine self-sacrifice from Julio for her life that makes her re-evaluate her beliefs, or... something I'm not expecting, who knows?

-Wait, Final Showdown? Is the season over already? I'm absolutely kidding, but hey! Looks like I'm finally getting that nightclub fight I always wanted! Hell yeah! ...but at what cost?

[jensonsbuttons]

Hii Katie! Top 5 Sebson moments please? ✨

HELLO!! sorry it took me a while to respond but uhhh i hit the wrong button, closed out of this, lost my work, got distracted, etc. So. Take 3. Here we go. Anyway what follows are my absolutely dumb rambles on these two morons. They aren’t in order. All equally drive me up the wall and these two are absolutely terrible so its tough to condense this into 5 moments. But...by god we’re gonna try.

1. You gotta talk about the bowtie incident. Here’s a nice gifset to show you what the hell happened. But yeah essentially at the 2011 Autosport Awards they both had to give speeches and absolutely teased each other in the speeches. Jenson of course teased Seb for being a great competitor but not wearing a bowtie and just ??? took out an extra bowtie that i guess guys just have hanging out in their suit jackets??? And then seb retaliated saying he’d wear a bowtie when he was 30+ so just cute little banter and all that and it makes me hate them. Here’s jenson’s speech and the time stamp is around 2:25 for his bit. And then here’s seb’s speech and the time stamp is around 5:55 for his bit. Anyway i hate them both.

2. The second one has to be the paddock pass incident. Basically what happened was the day of the 2011 indian gp these two go to the paddock but what was different? Jenson rolled up with Seb’s credentials. He covered up the picture as soon as he swiped it but he leaves a little too early so we all saw a picture and name and hey surprise! is not jenson’s. Seb had his own pass too with a more official looking picture. There is...........a lot to unpack and a lot of questions but if i go into those, this post will never be done. Anyway!!! What morons!! Here’s a nice gif set where you can see the incident. I’ve never found video??? don’t know if anyone else has either so maybe its just lost forever. Sad day.

3. Moving right along to: “why? are you proposing?” seb’s goal in life especially in 2009 is basically to fluster jenson it seems and he does that perfectly in this moment. More stupid dumb banter between the two but essentially jenson is talking about how he’s gonna go enjoy the offseason and celebrate his championship and what does seb ask? “Do you marry now?” now...okay all right you can agree or disagree with me on this next point but most people would hear that and be ???? Jenson, god bless him for playing the game, feeds right back and says “why are you proposing?” leading seb to quickly catch himself and say “no no no i mean are you getting married” or whatever he said. It ends with jenson slapping seb’s arm but hey thats just guys being dudes. Anyway, check out the video of these morons here.

4. If someone asked me to sum up their entire “thing” i’d show them this gif set of a press conference for the 2013 japanese grand prix. Basically, jenson and seb have always chatted and made jokes when they shouldn’t (press conferences, podiums, anthems, etc.) and it is in full force here. The cherry on top of all of this has the be the last gif. Obviously, seb’s life goal is continuing and he passes test of flustering jenson at the worst moments. Its just...they’re so stupid oh my god.

5. “Who was that anyway?” honestly there is nothing more to this than just how cute it is and them clutching onto each other (cause they always have to be touching whenever they’re in each others area) its just more dumb stupid banter and i hate them 

Honorable mentions:

- whatever the fuck this was with seb just clearly staring

- they have inside jokes of making fun of each other’s winning celebrations as seen here and here 

- any interaction they have at any ROC just....yeah. go look it up. they’re terrible.

- that time that jenson was in an interview and they asked what other driver’s he’d want to have dinner with and he brought up seb sending him a “dirty” whatsapp and ??? it literally had nothing to do with the original question??? like he just...brought up the whatsapp and never said “oh sure i wanna go to dinner with him.” like...he just brought up seb.

- the fact that there are A LOT of pictures like this that could uhhhhh be taken a different way. like sincerely abu dhabi 2009 was not the only time pictures like this was taken. so. yeah.

- last gif in this set with once again seb very clearly uhhh doing as one would probably say “checking someone out”

and lastly whatever the absolute fuck this is:

ANYWAY THERE YOU HAVE IT. my top five and some of my favorite sebson moments. (sincerely though...all of it is great)

sleepover saturday?? sleepover saturday

[spytap]

That Time I Maybe Accidentally Slid Between Universes On The Lower East Side: A Modern Pizza Brigadoon

Okay, we’re trying this again. With the words. Let’s give it a shot.

I was telling this story over the weekend, and it struck me that it’s something I’ve never really written down. But I think it’s worth documenting - you know, for science.

I guess I have to preface this by saying that I’m not the type of person to accept the unexplainable. In the Mulder/Scully matrix of assumptions, I lean much more Scully, assuming that most things have a reasonable explanation once more data is uncovered or known. I say that just so that I can say that one time while on a business trip to New York, I’m pretty sure I drunkenly dropped back and forth between parallel universes Sliders-style while trying to grab a slice.

Right, so let’s set the stage of our merry little fever dream of a play, shall we?

It’s 1:30am and I am drunk.

Wait, let’s be clear: I’m not just “I’m in New York and let’s have some fun” drunk, I’m “we’re at a digital media event and it’s the late oughts” drunk. I think it was the Webbies, but who knows. It could have been social media week or any number of other things. But if you were in the DM scene at the time, you remember (or not…) that any event which brought together the weird crossover between tech, social media, and nascent web video had, at its intersection, going hard in the motherfucking paint, if you get my drift.

The late oughts were where SXSW got its reputation as an epic and riotous shitshow where long term memories went to die. Companies lived and died by the parties they threw way out in the wasteland that was “anywhere off of sixth street.” It set the scene for an arms race of irresponsibility that wouldn’t peter out until about 2012. And New York, being much larger than Austin and with a scrappy underdog of a tech industry, had a reputation to uphold.

So that’s how I find myself at my third after party, in a bar called (I think?) Ford’s, on the lower east side, surrounded by the technorati, glitterati, and all other manner of descriptive terms for young, pretty, newly and soon-to-be rich people, before we discovered that they were called “influencers.”

This bar is a proper dive. Not quite “you could destroy everything in here and you’d be out like fifteen bucks” but still well into “you’re gonna need more than a new paint job once the artisan cheese shops roll into this neighborhood.” Put in 2009 money, we were still getting five dollar beers in Manhattan, so do with that what you will.

Back to the story: right around 1:30AM, I’m thinking three things: 1) I would very much like to slam an inordinate amount of pizza into my mouth, 2) I probably need to use the restroom before I do so, and 3) The four or five people I’m with are probably feeling the same way. So I check in with my crew, tell them I’m gonna hit the head and then we’re gonna hit some pizza. First things first though: I gotta get some crucial info from the bartender.

I saunter up to the bar and ask where I can get a slice. The sole bartender, a man who is both younger and exponentially cooler than me, tells me “New York’s best pizza is two blocks up and one left.”

“New York’s best?” I clarify, because wouldn’t that be a coincidence?

“Yep, New York’s best pizza. Two blocks up, one left.”

Well, I know that everyone thinks they know the best pizza in town, but this dude looks like he’s a perpetual trend setter, so it feels like it has a higher-than-average likelihood of relative goodness. Besides, I’ve assaulted my sense well past the realm of good taste, so as long as it’s not cooked on a literal garbage can, it should serve it’s purpose. I pop the directions into the old memory banks, and wander off through the broken door that indicates relief (and, in retrospect, possibly tetanus.)

True to its dive bar requirements, this restroom is super classy you guys. Just above the pee trough (like an actual six foot long trough that horses would drink out of) (in other circumstances) there’s a mirror where someone has carved “Smoke Beer” - a particular exercise that I contemplate for far too long. Is this a flavor profile of some cheeky new porter? Are they suggesting you replace your bong water with Budweiser? Or is this an actual “get a beaker and some burners and let’s get high in the science lab” situation?

Regardless, my attention turns back to the core mission: Operation Pizza Face Hole Intersection. So I push away the culinary suggestion, zip up, and return to the main room to find…no one.

I don’t mean my friends were gone. I mean that when I left to pee, there was somewhere between 150 and 200 people in this bar, and now there were two. And I was one of them. The other one is a bartender, but very crucially, not the bartender I was just speaking to one or two or five hundred billion minutes ago. This is a new bartender. He’s older. And has a beard. This is very distinctly a different person, but I’m still hung up on the reality that there is no one else in this bar except for him and me.

I look at this new bartender. He looks at me. I look around to see if maybe my friends are hiding behind something, but this place doesn’t even have tables, let alone hiding spaces. I look back. He’s still looking at me. So I do the only logical thing to do in this scenario: I run away.

Outside, I pull out my blackberry (shut up) and call my friends. Voicemail. Every one. No one picks up. I text them “where the fuck are you assholes” but drunkenly, on a keyboard the size of a postage stamp, so they don’t write back, even to clarify whether I just had a stroke.

Something has definitely gone horribly wrong. I am very drunk in a strange part of a strange city. Everyone I know and several dozen complete strangers have been Thanos-snapped into the ether of the universe. I am alone and have no real understanding of how to get home from here. But, you know, I also still really want pizza. So I do the only thing that truly makes sense in this scenario: I start walking towards pizza.

One block up, things start getting weird(er). Now weird in nighttime Manhattan isn’t quite as weird as it used to be, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Venice Beach, so my weird meter is a little skewed compared to most people. But it’s as-near-as-matters-2am now and the streets of the lower east side are deserted, except for…

Look, there’s no way to say this without sounding like I’m writing a David Lynch spec, so I’m just gonna say it and you’re gonna have to trust me here.

Directly in front of me there is a group of a dozen or so seven to ten year old girls playing double dutch in the middle of the street. A totally normal sight at 2pm - less so at 2am. There are no adults here. Or anywhere. Except me. And right as I notice them, they notice me. They don’t stop their monotone chanting, they just continue to do so while swiveling their heads to follow me like a leopard follows a [whatever leopards eat - I’m not looking it up on Wikipedia right now.]

So once again: empty streets in the LES, except for me and a gaggle of girls wielding a pair of twin jump ropes. And chanting. I briefly wonder if they’re okay and why they’re out here all along performing what’s starting to sound more and more like some pagan ritual before I keep fucking walking because there’s no scenario in which any good comes from me stopping and hanging around. But I start thinking that I need a witness here.

The blessing of living in California and spending a lot of time in New York is actually time. More specifically, that you can call your girlfriend at what’s almost your 2AM and she’ll still be up and wondering what the absolute fuck you’re talking about when you open with “I hope I didn’t wake you but everyone disappeared and I’m kind of scared because there’s this creepy group of girls playing double dutch but I think it’s going to be alright because I’m walking to get pizza.”

We’d been together for a while at that point, so thankfully I’d build up a reservoir of good graces to pull from in moments like these.

Witness achieved, I told her precisely (ish) where I was, so the police could find my body, and continued my Epic Pizza Quest. Two blocks up, and one block left, where I found…

New York’s Best Pizza. That’s the goddamned name. Motherfucking hipster bartenders.

It’s open, for some reason, and empty for good reason, but after some back and forth that includes “well I don’t have any and I’d have to make a full pizza” and “I understand but I don’t want a full fucking pizza, I just want a slice” I get a couple slices and, for lack of anything better to do, decide to head back to Ford’s.

Now you might be asking yourself, dear reader, why I would march back through a fae revelry towards a crack in the universe, and that’s a very good question. The answer is that I was very drunk at the time.

So back I went.

The children were still there, still playing double dutch. (In my memory of this, they’re doing everything slowly and in a minor key, but it’s likely they were normal speed and tone, and I was just perceiving things slowly for chemical reasons.) My phone comes out again and I subtly (HA) narrate my way through this gauntlet to my girlfriend (and for the police report) and back towards the bar/Tardis.

Which brings us to our climax. See, there’s something even more disconcerting than leaving a restroom to find an erstwhile packed bar with naught but tumbleweeds, and that’s coming back to the deserted bar and finding it full again. Like packed full. Like normal full. Like Digital Media Event after party full. You know, like you remembered it pre-restroom (which is as weird a sentence to type as it is, I imagine, to read.)

I immediately run into my friends, who not only know nothing at all about the empty bar, but proclaim that they’ve been looking for me for “like an hour.” They’ve called and texted me, they say, which is ludicrous because I’ve been using my phone and I would have…

I looked at my phone. I had seven missed calls. A dozen texts. None of which were on my phone when I used it just moments ago, but all of which were timestamped over the past hour-ish.

I call my girlfriend again. Please pick up.

“Did you just talk to me and did I just tell you about everyone disappearing and the bar being totally empty and the weird creepy double dutch girls and getting into an argument with the pizza guy at New York’s Best Pizza?” I shouted into the phone, to the absolute horror of my friends (who were probably wondering what legal obligations they had to return me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.)

“Yes…” she responded, probably wondering what obligations she had to guide me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.

“Good!” I shouted, and promptly hung up, having proven my sanity, but really testing the depths of that aforementioned reservoir of goodwill. She would later tell me that somehow the second phone call was weirder than the first.

Moving past my friends, I stormed back into the bar. The bartender (the first one, the hipster one, the human one) clocked me coming in, but before he could open his mouth to ask what was probably going to be a very friendly question about whether I found the pizza place, or did I want to close out the tab I’d left open, instead got to be on the receiving end of me shouting “You sent me to a really fucking weird pizza place!” before marching out the door; thus cementing my reputation as a gifter of bizarre and inexplicable social interactions, and the probable punchline to someone else’s very different story.

For the rest of the week, my friends would swear up, down, sideways, sober, and drunk that no, the bar did not empty out; no, this was not a prank; no, they didn’t see me leave; and yes, they were in the very full and active bar the entire time I was gone.

It’s ten years later, and I don’t have an explanation for this event. I wouldn’t say it haunts me, but it’s definitely one of the weirder things that’s ever happened to me. And weirder still, in writing down this modern pizza-driven Brigadoon, I looked up Ford’s and New York’s Best Pizza just to see if I remembered their names right - and I can’t find any trace of either of them.

I’m still with the same girlfriend, and she still remembers the phone calls (vividly), but no one else was actually there, so no one else can verify the very weird set of events and circumstances that happened late that night, and into the early morning, across a series of overlapping universes.

Somewhere, out there in the ether of the multiverse, I imagine one version of me is still wondering where everyone went and yearning for a slice of New York’s Best Pizza.

[huearmy]

The Smell of Truth - IV

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 4781

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Some violent nightmares, nothing too bad.

Chapter I  Chapter II  Chapter III - Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

Jungkook was ready to fight.

After eating cake and tons of meat, taste coke for the first time and fall in love with it, you showed him another thing to love about his new life. Something exciting, entertaining and beautiful... He wasn't good at it at first, but seeing you doing it so well just motivated him to do better. Video games of course. All the sounds and colors made his eyes sparkle. The characters were so amazing too. You let him choose what game he wanted to try first, without much reference he didn't know where to start, using as a criterion the cover that most caught his attention and the little you said about each one. In the end he tested so many games that the order wasn't even important. 

You noticed that he avoided violent themes, like fight games, and he preferred the sports, adventure, or cute-looking ones. You came to that conclusion when you decided to show one of your favorites, Dead By Daylight, and before you could start a match he wanted to change to Plant vs. Zombie. At some point you both stopped by Mario Kart and that was the thing. One hour later Jungkook was better than you, throwing all the bananas on you, like losing wasn't an option to him. The bastard is competitive.

"AAaaaaah! nonononon noooooo!" You lose the control of your kart just before finish line as he passes you, crossing the line and winning for the sixth time in a row.

"Yeah!" He jumped from his spot on the floor, running circles arond the couch and you, who was also on the floor.

"That's not fair, half of an hour ago you didn't even know how the controls work..."

"Let's play again!" He seated beside you again, and then his ears perked up. "Can I eat more cake?"

He already ate almost half of the cake, and was clearly in a sugar rush. "Of course. The cake is yours."

With a happy squick he ran to the kitchen, sliding the new pair of white socks over the apartment's wooden floor. As you waited for hi to come back you once again searched your games, looking for any more he might like, and came to the conclusion that you have a very violent taste to games - you are a fervent Outlast fan, for example. You have never dealt with a hybrid so full of trauma so directly, let alone inside your home, so involved in your life, and despite having some sense of Jungkook's past, you don't know everything that torments him or how much, so making him one hundred percent comfortable in this new life is your plan. What you need is to pay more attention to the small details. And maybe you can start by letting him choose some lighter games himself in the online store.

Jungkook emerged from the kitchen, now walking slower, balancing two plates of cake in one hand, and a huge glass of coke, full to the top, in the other, taking care not to make a mess. Carefully he sat next to you again.

"I brought cake for you too." He gave you one plate and got ready for another round.

"Oh, that's sweet of you. Thanks." You played for another hour or so, Jungkook's victories proving that it was not beginner's luck but that he is indeed a fast learner. You were already more asleep than awake, as a result of bad nights and unregulated sleep in the last week, when he got tired of running and decided to change the game. "What is this about?" Jungkook asked, showing you another one. "Ah, is a remake of one of my childhood favorites. It's about a bandicoot who lives on an island in the south pacific, and a magic mask that flies around him, and has a big-headed villain. It's pretty fun." You yawned. "Let's play this one then." He excitedly stated. "Sorry, Jungkook. I'm really tired, and even if I'll work from home, I need to get up early tomorow... I'm going to bed now." You saw the disappointment in his eyes, his ears and tail falling, and added. "But you can keep playing without me." Jungkook looked around, clearly not so happy as before. "Ok. I will play another one that is not your favorite then. See you tomorrow?" He was pouting again, and you thought to yourself if you're going to be able to get used to it. Despite being upset, you could see that he didn't want to have a tantrum asking you to stay. "You are so cute." You said before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the hands for a hug. You rested you head on his chest and reasurely passed your hands on his back. You couldn't see right now, but the brightest smile settled in Jungkook's face. "See you in the morning. Sleep well, JK." "Sleep well, Y/N." _____________________________________________________________________________________ You took a fast shower, put yourself in comfy pijamas and dropped your tired body in the bed. In less than five minutes you were fast asleep. You are the type that has a heavy sleep, that doesn't wake up with anything, and if it happens it is not fully awake, easily coming back into slumber. Normally a lightning storm would not be enough to get you out of dreamland, quite the opposite, the thick rain hitting the window glass has always been like a lullaby. But for some reason, by two in the morning your sleep-pumping eyes were open and alert. Something was off.

You sit, checking your surroundings, listening. Everything seemed ordinary. You got up, looking for your phone, trying to remember where you left it last. You found it lying on the floor beside the bed, between your slippers, some social media notifications and messages that you didn't see before stamping the screen.

Opening one of the messages, a smile formed at the corners of your mouth, as you rubbed your swollen eyes. Still half asleep you played the audio massage, a male voice sounding low. "Hey sweetheart, I'm coming back already. If my flight doesn't delay, I'll be home in the late afternoon... Then I will see you before anything else ok! I'm missing you so fucking much it feels like dying... So..." Before you could finish hearing the message something else caught your attention. You were silent trying to hear again. A soft sound from the floor below. A cry. It brought you from the brink of slumber, zombie mode of yours, to full alert awake mode.

"Jungkook" You went to the door and, knowing the way even in the dark, did not even bother to turn on the lights in the corridor, or the stairs, to run to the hybrid who now lives with you. The closer you got, the more certain you were that the crying came from Jungkook's room, a tightness in your chest leaving you worried at every step without knowing what was happening.

You entered as quietly as you could, stepping inside on the tip of your feet, the room was lighter than the corridor you came from, because of the headlamp on. Jungkook was lying in the shape of a ball, his back to you, wearing silk pajamas that you bought him earlier, the cover lying on the floor indicating he was having restless sleep. He was crying, but still asleep, clutching the pillow as hard as if his life depended on it, his body shivering, from cold or stress, or both, you couldn't say. Regardless, the nightmare he was having must have been horrible. Sitting next to him on the bed next to him, you put your hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly.

"Jungkook, wake up." As if your touch had burned him, Jungkook's eyes snapped open, his body reacting defensively before you could do anything. In a second his hand was around your wrist, holding tightly at a sore angle, making you gasp in pain. For a moment it seemed that even looking directly at you, he didn't recognize you.

"Jungkook, it's me. Y/N. You were having a nightmare, but is everything ok. You are ok." You softly said, ignoring the pain in your wrist he was still holding, and reaching your other hand to his face, brushing the hair away from his sweaty forehead. "You are ok, Jungkook." "Y/N..." His lips quivered, small voice barelly reached your ears. Jungkook is a pile of muscles, much taller than you, bigger in every way, but at that moment, with scared eyes full of tears... you never thought he was so small. "It's, ok." You whispered, afraid that if you spoke a little louder it might scare him. "I don't know where you were, or what was happening... But now you are home, safe."   

He blinked a couple times, looking around, recognizing his own new room, his things, the smell of the surroundings. His tense, ready to fight body, relaxed as his breathing was soothing. He finally noticed his tight hold hurting you, released you and more quickly he sat against the headboard, moving away from you and your touch. The boy's pale face acquired a feeling beyond fear... guilt.

"So- sorry..." He weakly apologized.

It is not the first time he has had this nightmare. It is always the same, sometimes with small differences, but in short it is a ring, metal screens closing all sides and the ceiling, with electric barriers and poles, that if he tries to escape or fall out by accident the injuries will be terrible, that if he doesn’t die by it. There’s a white light on him, as if it were a show and he was the star, but it’s a show of horrors, the fans screaming loudly, from the dark, asking for blood, dozens of men without face wanting someone to die in front of them. Jungkook experienced this so many times in real life, that in a dream it shouldn't be so scary, but here comes the worst part... He's losing, this time he's the one going to die today. While the other guy is sitting on top of him, giving blow after blow he can't defend himself, he looks back, looking for his owner. Jungkook's owner is sitting in a deck chair in the middle of the audience, watching the fight with his eyes without emotion, he is not happy, and Jungkook knows why: he has not been a good boy, he is no longer valuable, and doesn't bring tons of money anymore... So the owner won't help him, he won't find a way to stop the fight to save Jungkook, because it's not worth it. When Jungkook looks up again and faces his opponent it is his own face what he sees, like a mirror, violent and empty... He sees himself as the scariest hybrid in the world.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... Y/N I'm sorry." He started to sob, bringing his knees close to his chest, turning into a ball again, to look smaller and not threatening.

Carefully you risked approaching him again, placing your hand on his knee in an attempt to make some comforting contact, without being too invasive.

"Shhhh... No need to apologize now." Seeing that he didn't withdraw from you again, you finally took his face in your cold little hands. "How are you feeling?"

"What?" A tear ran down his cheekbone, wetting your hand.

"I want to know if you are ok, JK." You smiled softly. He hurting you it's not ok, even if by accident, but that's a subject for another moment, now the focus is on him only. He sighed, closing his eyes and letting himself relax at your touch, feeling the soft tips of your fingers drying his tears. He took a deep breath once, twice, three times before nodding.

"I'm. I just need to go to bathroom."

"Ok." You let him get up, his well-built body looking so fragile as he walked out of the room, disappearing into the dark corridor. You got up yourself, to fix the bedding, get it ready for when he returned.

Jungkook washed his face several times, trying to get the bad impression he could still see when looking in the mirror. "When you're scared, laugh in the face of fear, he won't take you seriously and then he'll leave you alone." The child's voice rang in Jungkook's mind, making him give a weak little smile when he thought that this silly psychology has kept his sanity for years. He wiped his face with a soft towel, and then looking at himself in the mirror he made a funny face. And then another ... And one more. One funny face after another until he feels like smiling for real.

Your happy bathroom, with a nice scent of soap and cute plants, also helped a lot. The urge to cry went away much easier than at any time in Jungkook's old life.

Not really in the mood of trying to sleep again, he dragged himself back to the room, feeling the weight of the world on his legs, considering returning to playing video games and staying up all night... He saw you still on his bed, waiting for him, and stopped by the door, surprised.

"You still here..." You were zoning out, due to his delay in returning. His voice - now more peaceful - put a smile of relief in your distracted face.

"Do you want me to stay with you till you fall asleep again?" You suggested. Jungkook felt something in his chest, almost like a heartache, warm, when he heard that question.

"You don't need to..." He spoke before he could stop himself, regretting immediately, because it wasn't what he wanted to answer.

You left a warm laugh scape your lips.

"That's not what I asked, JK. Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes." You caring for him like this is like a dream to him, so, afraid of making a mistake that would make this moment end, he camly walked to you, lying on the spot you were invitingly tapping beside you, almost with his head on your lap. Almost... You covered him, taking care to wrap every inch of him with the blanket, to keep him warm, as you would do to a child, or at least, how you like to sleep when it's cold, like a comfy burrito. He felt loved. A few minutes went by, you patiently petting his hair. When you thought he would have fallen asleep, Jungkook opened his eyes to look at you thoughtfully.

"Y/N..." His voice was already sleepy.

"Hum?"

"Why aren't you afraid of me?" It's not like you're not expecting such conversation to happen sometime in the future, but at that moment the question took you by surprise.

"What do you mean, Jungkook?"

Jungkook had a hard time finding the right words. He didn't expect you to respond with another question, he wanted you to answer more objectively. A line of frustration formed between the boy's eyebrows as he thought hard on it. You just kept petting him, waiting for him to elaborate his thoughts. "I don't... know. Everybody does... I'm a pitbull and I was a fight dog... I've done so many bad and scary things, so everybody is afraid of me. The people that didn't want to adopt me, the employees of the shelter who beat me, even the doctor who saw me... She was so sweet to me, but she always saw me with a security guard in the room. Even my former owner was always armed when he came to talk to me..." He was frustrated and agitated when speaking. "He always told me that being a fighter is the only thing I good at... That I'm good at being violent. So why aren't you afraid?"

He could sense you getting dark feelings as he spoke. You were pissed, just thinking about what they did to his head made you want to punch someone. Making Jungkook think he deserves to be feared instead of being loved, pampered and adored every day of his life is unforgivable.

"First of all... Get ready because I'm going to give a speech here. Second: it is a protocol, standard procedure, to have support staff when treating new hybrids, especially when they have a history of abuse. It's not because the doctor was afraid of you, it's because she wanted to take good care of you." You paused for a breath, taking care not to be too harsh when speaking and it looked like you were scolding him, which was nowhere near your intention. You sighed and pulled a lock of hair out of his eyes. "Jungkook, you can't believe in any word your former owner told you. If he was always armed when he came to talk to you, it wasn't because he was afraid of you, it was because he wanted you to be afraid of him. He is very bad person. And he's in jail for all the evil he's done, for you and many other people ... And he's a liar. Nothing he has ever said or done to you can define your future or who you are. Can you believe me?"

"Yes." He said with a soft and vulnerable voice.   

He was crying again, with a little smile forming in the corner of his mouth, but still crying. And your heart can't take it.

"And the reason I'm not afraid of you...?" You raised an eyebrow and looked deep into his eyes, as if you were going to tell an incredible secret. "I recognize a cinnamonroll when I see one."   

At this, one laugh left Jungkook mouth, and you couln't think he is any cuter. "Seriously... Look at this doe eyes and sweet smile! You are a cutie pie, JK! The most precious one..." He let you squish his check with a blush taking over his whole face, but then he noticed the bruise forming in your wrist and his smile fell.

"But I did hurt you." He sadly took your hand in his. "Yes, but it can be fixed. It will heal, and it can heal even faster if I treat it right. And you can never do that again." You said logically. "How?" You pointed your index finger to the middle of Jungkook's forehead, and then to the middle of his chest.

"Healing yourself too. I know you're messed up, and that's ok. I'm here to help. We can start with therapy, you know..." Jungkook didn't like the idea of therapy at all, but for now he won't discuss it. You were probably right. "Ok." He said, snuggling closer to your leg. A very loud thunder burst outside, coming very close to the lightning, startling Jungkook, who reflexively grabbed the hem of your cotton shorts. You didn't refrain yourself from hugging him with your whole body, planting a heavy kiss on his cheek.

"Saw what i mean? You are too precious."

With his heat beating frantically he answered in a timid way.

"I don't like loud sounds... That's all."

"Is just loud, it can't hurt you." You said looking into his eyes, your nose almost touching his nose. "As long I'm here no one can hurt you." And there it is again. The smell of truth. The idea of someone as small as you protecting Jungkook from anything or anyone may seem absurd, but for no second he doubt your words, because each one of it smell like sincerity. Your eyes too, so intense as you said it, that made him want to protect you too.

"And what if you are not around when I need you?" He tested playfully. "Then you scream my name as loud as you can and I'll be there in no time!"

"Seriously?"

You seated straight, handson your hips.  

"Of course! I was on the athletics team at college. I'm super fast!" He was laughing, your work was done. "Sorry I woke you up... And thank you for saving me." Jungkook said it with so much affection it made you heart skip a beat.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I woke up to the thunder." You simply said, but he knew this one was a lie. _________________________________________________________________________ After the incredible conversation he had with you in the middle of the night, and the rest of the night well slept, Jungkook started the day very willing and happy. He could barely walk, instead it was as if his legs were jumping around the apartment by itselves. You were up hours before him, but waited to eat breakfast with him - you already had a liter of coffee by yourself anyway. Despite not being what you like to do with your life, and and having another job - running a chain of stores for your family - you have been working as a lawyer for a member office for a few months. Even working from home, you have soooo much paperwork to fill out and study, reports with deadline to deliver, to be a suuuuuper efficient employee. So after you finished eating your cereal bowl, you left Jungkook to play video games alone and locked yourself in your personal upstairs office to work.

He can hear you walking around as you talk on the phone, your voice sounding serious and professional. He was having fun by himself, such a good time with snaks and left over cake, but at the same time he was struggling on not gonna check you out. You strictly asked him to not interrupt you till lunch time. Jungkook spent an hour in this internal fight to go or not to see if you didn't need something or want a glass of juice, to maybe get scratch behind his ear and a smile from you as reward. Like... You were just upstairs and he miss you too much. He was so focused on the game and his own thoughts that he didn't even notice his steps down the stairs and into the living room.

"Jungkook. I need to sign some papers in the office. If anything I'm downstairs."

"Ok." Then you left the apartment. You were too serious. Too cold. Too focused on serious and adult things. A world-sized pout formed in Jungkook's cute face. It is only the third day with you in his life, but he already feels very used to it - your presence of light and warm hugs was able to erase all the years of loneliness that in which he learned to be alone and be satisfied with his own company. Thinking about it he decided to change his plans. He turned off the video game, stretched out and went on an adventure ... He was going to inspect every corner of the house. Field recognition.

He started in the kitchen. He found out where everything, utensils, different types of pots, foods, is kept, and with that he learned a little bit about your personality too... Everything is so methodically organized by category and size that it became very clear that you are a tidy freaky. No problem, learning to respect your habits and quirks, being clean, shouldn't be that difficult. The same style of organization also in the hall closet, and in the bathroom, and on the bookcase for games and movies. He did not enter your room or private office - although the door was open, and he could see a very large bookcase and a table full of papers and an open notebook - because he thought it would be too much intrusion. So the only place on the top floor that went through Jungkook's inspection was the terrace, where your plants are also very well cared for and categorized by type and alphabetical order - including name and scientific name signs. In the tool cabinet, he found gardening tools - as expected - and some useless things  or at least he hadn't imagined you'd have ... Like a neon pink pilates ball and an inflatable Santa Claus.

Jungkook lay on the deck chair on the terrace to sunbathe - few times in his life he had this luxury - and took the opportunity to take a nap. He woke up just before lunchtime.

"Y/N?" He checked on your office, and then in the living room. You weren't back yet, but since it was time for lunch he could finally go after you. Without hesitating he ran downstairs when he saw what time it was, escaping some steps to go faster, and without thinking, or rather remembering, that you probably wouldn't be alone in the office, Jungkook knocked twice on the door and went in before hearing an answer. So he froze by the door when he saw the two men from the other day with you in the room.

You were sharing the office chair with that hybrid - in fact he was practically sitting on your lap while you typed something on the computer, arms around him, both focused on the screen. The other guy, the human, had his back to Jungkook, hunched over the table, also looking at the same thing as you. It must be something important, because none of them noticed Jungkook's presence at first. Once again he felt that he was interrupting something he shouldn't be getting into - the little line forming between your eyebrows, while you read something on the screen in deep concentration saying it. With a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach he also felt that he should be interrupting for sure. No other hybrid should be on your lap while he is home alone. He was about to cough to get your attention, ready to make it very clear how unhappy he was with the scene, to let you know that your attitude was not cool, but the hybrid looked up from the computer, making eye contact with him. All of Jungkook's feelings are gone all of a sudden, leaving only the need to hide in a hole on the ground.

"Hi." The hybrid smiled at him, eyes turning into two crescent moons. This made you and the other guy see Jungkook too. The man, who today was dressed as a very stylish grandpa, turned around, sitting on the edge of the table and crossed his arms. JUngkook felt his face getting hot with all eyes on him.

"Oh, JK. I didn't see it's lunchtime already. Sorry." You said, checking your wristwatch.   

Jungkook couldn't answer, his voice stuck in his throat.

"We ran into each other in the hall yesterday, right?" The human calmly asked Jungkook, not really waiting for an answer. His eyes were so intimidating, a whole dominating vibe coming from him. "He's the one living with you?"

"Yes! This is Jungkook." You pridely said, giving a light pat on the hybrid knee, so he could let you get up. "And this is Taehyung, my friend who rents the studio across the hall. And this little cutie here Jimin he works for me as a counter."

"I like numbers!" Jimin said, cat ears excitedly pointed up. "Nice to meet you." Jungkook finally put some word out, still avoiding eye contact. You closed some folders, saved some docs... Finding it super cute that Jungkook was so shy.

"Let's eat." You stated. "Finally..." Teahyung and Jimin whined in unison. Taehyung out of nowhere lost his frightening posture, practically becoming a child right in front of Jungkook. A very excited child.

"Can we get hamburgers today? Last time Jimin chose, and before him was you..." He picked his shoulder bag and went to the door, stopping right next to Jungkook, who practically froze in place.

You followed suit, stopping on the other side of Jungkook, pressing a reassuring hand against the boy's back.

"I actually want to put Jungkook on a healthier diet. A regular meal would be better." You softly but certainly said with a smile, no room for debate. You wouldn't say that out loud, because it would be exposing Jungkook unnecessarily, and you don't know if he would like it, but his blood tests, done at the shelter, showed anemia, among other consequences of a poor diet, even though he is strong his health was not very good, and your plan is to take care of it.

" I think Jungkook could choose, since he is new." Jimin practically put everyone out to lock the door.

The silence that followed made Jungkook look up from the floor to see that the three were looking at him expecting him to say something he wanted to eat.

"Me..meat?" It was the first thing that came to his mind.

________________________________________________________________

Tag List:  @stayunderthelights  @deolly  @panconte @serendipityoreuphoria @madygswich @namjoonies-dimple @givebuckysomelove @imluckybitches @hoseokslefteyebrow  @yzkyzkuniverse @flaring-vibes @justpeachyjoon​

________________________________________________________________

If you want me to tag you, pls tell me. 

AND PLEASE GIVE LOVE TO THIS WORK OF MINE: Clumsy

[wjsns]

emily’s gif tutorial!

hi there! here is how i make a gif from start to finish!

1. Find and HD video

2. Download video 

3. Vapoursynth

4. Photoshop

1. Find an HD video to gif: I ususally do not gif something thats not 1080p or above, and preferably it is a video in 4k. For stage performances, I use .ts files from various sources. You kind of have to do some digging for these high quality videos, and sometimes this is the hardest part of giffing! But imo, it is not worth it to gif something low quality, as the gifs wont turn out as sharp or nice no matter what you do to them. For this tutorial, I am using this 1080p youtube video 

2. Download the video: I use a variety of sites and even other people’s google drives to download HD videos, but be careful and make sure you know the source you’re downloading from is reliable! You can download a video from youtube, vlive or twitter even! I recommend finding a .ts file for performance videos, however, which cannot be found on youtube (try sites like 4sashi, or if someone uploaded something on twitter)

3. Use Vapoursynth: I’m not even going to try to attempt to explain how to download vapoursynth (for mac, or avisynth for PC users) because it is a very in depth process. Please check here for all you need to know about downloading vapoursynth!

a. Drag the video file into the vapoursynth editor. You will be asked to select a time stamp in 00:00:00 annotation. Start with the time on the video that your gif starts, so for our example that is at 16 minutes and 13 seconds into the video.

Next, you need to enter the duration of the video you want Vapoursynth to capture, starting at the previously selected timestamp ^. I want about 3 seconds of video, (we will trim it better later, in photoshop). I want three seconds of video so here is what I enter.... (tip; I would not go more than 4 seconds, 2-3 is the sweet spot for gif duration)

b. In your browser, a window will pop up like this;

Select your desired sharpening settings on the left side (my preferred settings are already input in the photo). You can adjust the gif dimensions up at the top of the left side (reminder; tumblr only accepts gifs formatted in 540, 268 or 177 for width). You can pull and drag the box around the video loop to zoom in/out/up/down while keeping your dimensions as well. Copy the box of text on the right once you’re satisfied. 

c. Paste the box of text into Vapoursynth Editor (this application window should have popped up along with the browser window earlier) where indicated under #resizer content goes here. Then, go up to the top and select Script > Encode Video. 

d. A new box should pop up that looks like this...

MAKE SURE you select Y4M up at the header box, and then click start! Wait for the video to finish processing. After it is finished, you can upload the video (found in Finder as output.mov in the Output folder) into photoshop. 

4. Photoshop: 

a. upload your video into photoshop (File > Import > Video Frames to Layers). The first thing I do is trim the layers. 

b. Next I set the timing of the layers to either 0.05 or 0.04 depending on the gif. 

c. Then, click the Convert Video to Timeline button. Select all the frames on the right hand side, and click Filter > Convert for Smart Filters. Now you can sharpen the gif, I like to use smart sharpen, I adjust these levels based on the gif but here are my settings...

d. Now is the fun part! You can color your gif however you want. Using psd’s is fine, but if you’re a new giffer I encourage you to experiment and play around with the Adjustments tab yourself to really understand the basics and what you like! You can find psd files anywhere, my favorite sources are tumblr and deviantart. I never just upload a psd onto a gif and call it good though, you’re almost always going to make a few coloring adjustments and tweaks to fit your gif! This is where those basic skills come in handy. I can go further into coloring in another tutorial as well... 

e. Now the gif should be done! When you go to save it for posting, you need to click File > Export > Save for Web Legacy. Make sure your gif is less than or equal to 3.00M in size (this is indicated in the bottom lefthand corner of the picture below, where you can see my gif here is at 2.826). Tumblr wont support a larger file. You can shorten your gif to make the file smaller. 

Now you’re done! Repeat these steps with your other gifs. You can copy all your coloring from the first gif onto the next ones, so the process goes fast after you figure out your coloring on that first gif! Depending on lighting or scene changes, however, you might have to make a few tweaks to the coloring on a new gif. Experiment and have fun with this! Sometimes I make a few different coloring versions of a gif, save them into my drafts on tumblr and view them on my phone to decide which I like better! 

Here is the finished product of this tutorial :) I hope this helped you!