#as u can see making short lists is very difficult for me

[lafcadiosadventures]

thanks for the tag, @sainteverge ^_^

rules: list your five all time favorite films and have people vote on which one matches your vibe. (gah. only five?! ok here goes:)

tagging: @saltedpin @squidsploitation @glamgothhobbit @flo-nelja @counterwiddershins +anyone who wants to do thisss

[catcze]

not particularly a request if u don't want it to be but as a fellow wriothesley enjoyer I wanted to share this idea

fontaine is based off of france right? so the thought of wrio being able to speak french and absolutely using that to his advantage to be a flirt has been driving me insane. he would be INSUFFERABLE (especially if his s/o isn't fluent) and I'd be loving every second of it

(also love your works <3 it's the main fuel that's been making me so horrifically down bad for him)

OH ?!!? MY GOD ?!?! HEHAKJDJ FUCK I HAVE TO WRITE THIS I CANT NOT !! It's a little short and a little sweet, but i hope you like it!

(Translations listed at the end! I used google translate, so if there's any mistakes, please feel free to correct me!!)

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

Wriothesley has started to say things to you on the regular— but for the life of you, you can't understand. It starts first on a slow day. You're lounging in his office, reading a random book you've plucked from his shelves. He's just looking through some papers, doing nothing too important.

Then, Wriothesley glances up from his papers, lets his eyes fall on you. "Tu me rends si heureux."

And you're furrowing your brow in confusion, staring at him. It's a phrase form his mother tongue, that much you know. But you're not sure what it actually means. The way his smile is a bit too mischievous, you don't think that he intends for you to understand, anyway.

"I'm... sorry?" You ask. What else can you say? You're pretty sure from his insufferably smug expression that he's not going to tell you what it means anytime soon. At the very least, you're pretty sure he's not shit talking you to your face.

Your eyes narrow.

Probably.

He can see the question on the tip of your tongue, the suspicious glance you cast his way. Wriothesley just chuckles and goes back to the papers on his desk.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart."

The next time, he does it as you're having dinner across from each other in the cafeteria. Your meal is halfway done, having been practically shoveled into your mouth. It probably paints an unflattering picture, but you're too hungry to really care. Resting on the table, he's stubbornly gripping your hand in his own, fingers intertwined. Even though it made eating much more difficult, Wriothesley would scowl and reach back for your hand whenever you tried to take it away, so you just considered it a lost cause.

Lost in filling your stomach, you're almost don't hear what he says.

"Je ne peux pas imaginer le reste de ma vie sans toi." Wriothesley mumbles, thumb stroking the back of your hand tenderly.

You narrow your eyes again, a silent question.

Wriothesley just smiles secretively and raises a hand to his mouth, miming zipping up his lips and locking it with a key, then tossing it away. He winks at you, and you roll your eyes. No answers today, apparently.

"Are you ever going to tell me what it is you've been saying?" you ask once you've swallowed your food.

"Mm. Maybe one day. If I feel like it." And he's grinning again— the cheeky one that he wears whenever he one-ups you, that showcases his dimples and his teeth. You kinda want to punch him, but it also makes you remember how handsome he is when he smiles.

"Fine," you grumble, sighing. You busy yourself once more with your food. "Keep your fucking secrets. See if I care." You do. A lot, actually. You're very curious now.

Wriotheley just smiles and lets you eat.

But he slips up, one evening. To be fair, it's late at night after a hard day's work. Both of you are exhausted— a tangled mass of limbs and sheets on your bed, both of you halfway asleep already.

Your head is cushioned on his chest, nose pressed against his collarbone, and his arms wrapped around you. Wriothesley's nose is pressed into the crown of your head, breathing in the smell of your hair. His breaths are deep and slow, and you can tell without even looking that his eyes are fighting to stay awake. You're no better, though.

Just before you nod off though, you can feel the brush of his lips against your hair. "Je t'aime. Je t'aime tellement," he says quietly, lips brushing the strands in affection. If you had just been the slightest bit more asleep, you might not have even heard it.

But while you may not be fluent in his language, may know little else aside from the most basic of phrases, you recognize that one. It's hard not to, when it's arguably one of the most popular phrases from his mother tongue. Je t'aime. I love you.

Something gooey finds its way into your chest, and the blood rushes through your body as you're overcome by the sheer sweetness of the man you're laying on. Slowly, you crane your neck up to face him, and can see the slight widening of his eyes, the quiet oh shit that runs through his head.

"Is that what you've been saying?" you ask, voice just as quiet as his. Wriothesley hesitates, arms tightening their hold on you.

"... generally, yes."

You smile gently, scooching up enough to press a kiss to his jaw, then to his lips, giggling when he leans down to make it easier for you. You bury your head into his neck then, resting your cheek against him. "I love you too, Wrio."

Translations:

Tu me rends si heureux. — You make me so happy. Je ne peux pas imaginer le reste de ma vie sans toi. — I can't imagine the rest of my life without you. Je t'aime. Je t'aime tellement. — I love you. I love you so much

[sun-stricken]

Man I am so happy I found your blog. Like it’s so refreshing to see a gray blog about, well, GRAY. Anyways id love to hear some more of your headcanons about gray, maybe ones on his demon slayer traits as well. If that’s ok with of course😅.

if u like my blog u should see my notes app, its almost embarrassing how full of him it is

i struggled with this ngl, single character (even when its ur fav) hc list r weirdly difficult for me

BUT I DID IT SO ENJOY!

Grays has a scarily good memory, he can see something once and be able to recall it in almost perfect detail even years later

amazing for molding, horrible for embarrassing or traumatic memories though

If someone needs something done, they go to him

He has a lot of people that owe him favors on standby, and no he will not say how those favor came to exist

he has a patch of natural white hair in his bangs, he got it from his mothers side

He has a brown cat named Catnip

shes his pride and joy

he has boxes full of letters, notes, and cards people have given him since joining Fairy Tail.

He’s really good at talking himself out of situations, as someone else said, hes a bit of a diplomat

if theres a fight or job that requires no magic hes one of the best for it

Some call it gaslighting, i call it being a lawyer in another life

Grays like, terrifyingly smart, he knows what to say, when to say it, and how

if other guilds/maybe the council did scouting, hes at the top of the list

nobody wants him as an enemy

ESPECIALLY after he got his devil slayer magic

speaking of

devil slayers are the embodiment of cute aggression

he gets the random urge to bite people

theres an 80% chance that he’ll try to head-bunt people now

if he gets too happy he’ll try to throw smth

he has ‘fangs’, really sharp canines and he probably has a self-induced tongue piercing from how many times he bit his tongue from them

the tips of his fingers are black, whether thats a demon slayer trait, or a product of having two ice magics, which makes him work in prime frostbite temperatures, is unknown, they just are

Gray collects siblings the way Natsu collects father figures

He also has a larger male following than Erza, but its okay bc she has a higher female following than him :)

he wears eyeliner. i just. i need to say it.

i want to add smth thats in every fairy tail au i make but never explicitly stated

hes deaf, he was born hoh but its gotten worse over the years, especially after Deloria

he has lacrima hearing aids and will turn them off if someone is being particularly annoying and he just isnt in the mood

he stress cooks and has gotten pretty good at it

he has a recipe book full of Isvan style foods and those are his favorite to make

He realized hes lived in Magnolia longer than he ever lived in Isvan and it tore him apart

When he writes things down, its a mix of Fioren and Islavic/Isvani writing

when he gets tired or really stressed he speaks his native language without realizing

hes a secret theater kid

hes the type to hear a song and lie on the floor for a couple hours

he tries to say he doesnt, but my god does he live off drama

he flirts when hes nervous bc its a very fun image to me

a weird amount of ppl hes dated/friends with were his enemy/rival in a sense

THATS ALL TY FOR THE ASK SORRY ITS KINDA SHORT AND ALL OVER THE PLACE

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

Hello! You may not remember a blog, "grouse-greyseed", a whispering voice among your followers, or a mutual you never spoke too. That was me, I deleted that blog because I had felt being online was crushingly lonely, and I didn't have the confidence to try and change that. I'm making a new blog because I think I understand myself and my fear better now. So, here is a little about me!

You can call me Thimble or Grouse, and I use she/it pronouns. I suppose, you could also call me Needle, Thread, or Spear, if you want!

I am especially interested in where the natural and artificial worlds come together and intersect. I use the tag "between" to indicate things that I think blur those boundaries especially well. I use the tag "spinning" to denote posts I make myself.

To give a list, things I enjoy or find interesting which I dedicate tags to include:

Natural History (I have an undergraduate degree in biology, and I have a lifelong passion for animals, especially birds. However, I also lump geology and astronomy in here as well. I don't necessarily like the term "natural history", but its the best I can come up with for now.)

CE (Short for "Common Era", but I suppose also "Current Events". I use this as a broad tag for humanities topics, which will include discussion of at times difficult subject matter, so if that's not what you are looking for I suggest filtering this tag.)

paint and fabric (For all sorts of visual art. I especially enjoy modern and contemporary art, embroidery, felting, and puppetry!)

qwerty (I have a recent interest in computers, and while I am not very knowledgeable about them I enjoy learning new things! Recent convert to linux mint, please be patient with my ignorance. Also used to tag sci fi art.)

sun moon and stars (I use this as a general tag for fantasy art, particularly stuff that focuses the sun, the moon, and the stars. Those, and fairies, have always had some sort of personal significance as long as i can remember. Probably the Waldorf schooling. May also post/reblog empty spaces type poetry under this tag. If you do not want to see that, block this tag.)

me when (haha funny relatable)

In addition to this, as I am here in this wretched place I of course will post and reblog stuff about my favorite stories. Expect to see a lot about Revolutionary Girl Utena, stuff by Ursula K. Le Guin, Labyrinth and Dark Crystal, Dungeon Meshi, Otherside Picnic, and more! (Have you figured out I'm a trans lesbian yet?)

I will occasionally post or reblog empty spaces type writing, or stuff adjacent to it. As such, this is an 18+ blog, and I will block minors who interact with it.

My main goal with this account is to continue to learn, and to meet people who share my interests. Due to a confluence of circumstances, I think I've lead a relatively sheltered life in some ways, and am in the process of reassessing a lot of stuff I've taken for granted for a long time. I'm not completely naive, but rapidly realizing there is just so much I don't know. I've been diving into as much reading as I can nowadays, and am eager to read more! If you like, you can feel free to send me recommendations for books and articles on the topics I'm interested in! Anons are off, I won't bite, unless u bite first.

[skyfish7]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern. (Got tagged by my dear friend @29daffodils, thank you, this looks interesting! If you're interested in any of those fics, please click the title and it will guide you to the fic on AO3.) More Beautiful than the Moon [ How would you like to continue your romance storyline? A. Stay with Luo Binghe. B. Try to seduce Liu Qingge. This might or might not be reversible, so choose wisely…/ ] ship/fandom: Liu Qingge/Shen Yuan|Shen Qingqiu, The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (I'm already cheating in the first one but I think the first sentence only isn't enough to convey anything so please excuse XD)

------------------------------------ Safe With You Cold. Wet. Dark. The boy's eyes can't see through the blurriness, his ears can hear only muffled noises of struggling. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, canon-divergent (Technically three sentences, I know but words alone don't make much sense right?) -----------------------------------

Convince me Otherwise It's the first day at uni for Team and things are supposed to go well, but in fact, Team's morning has already been quite eventful. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, musician AU -----------------------------------

Come Home With Me It's one of those days, Win spends working from home. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between U|Hemp Rope, post-canon -----------------------------------

With You through the Seasons It happens in early spring, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the road, in the middle of town without any prior warning – Xie Lian's car dies. ship/fandom: HuaLian, Heaven Official's Blessing, Modern AU ----------------------------------- We'll still be Us It was one of those nights when Megumi was lying wide awake, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom into the endless, merciless darkness. ship/fandom: GoFushi, Jujutsu Kaisen, Yakuza AU (OK those last four definitely followed a pattern and I don't really know what to think about that XD) -----------------------------------

Dragonfly “Hey, Akihiko,” Haruki starts when he can't stand the atmosphere anymore. ship/fandom: AkiHaru, Given ----------------------------------- My Boyfriend might suck at Games but he holds the High Score in my Heart Exam season sucks. ship/fandom: RitsuMafu, Given -----------------------------------

Waking up with You "Rise and shine, Sunshine, it's a beautiful day and we have plans today," Nao's whisper tickles Natsuya's ear as he bends down to wake his lover. ship/fandom: NatsuNao, Free! -----------------------------------

With You by my Side Once a year, sometime in April, without any fail, the former swim team of Iwatobi High makes an effort to meet up in their home town to catch up with each other and wallow in the nostalgia of their beginnings. ship/fandom: MakoHaru, ReiGisa, AsaKisu, HiyoIku, NatsuNao, SouRin, SeijuuGou, MomoAi, Free! ----------------------------------- So, do I see a pattern? A few of them start similarly, like the four that I pointed out. Then there are two starting with direct speech and a few starting with very short or only one-word sentences. Honestly, I don't really think too much about how to start a story because that's usually the easiest thing for me to do - to write the beginning. I just go with whatever pops up in my head when I start writing. I hope it's interesting enough to keep people reading but that's not for me to judge, so you tell me! :) Another thought that just crossed my mind is, why do most of my titles sound so lame? ;_; (It's truly one of the most difficult things when writing, if I don't know the title from the beginning, it's a struggle until the very end when I put the fic on AO3) Tagging some of my writer friends (no pressure to do this but I'd love to see it!) @tehalex3-blog, @radiodread, @berrynthewood and... I think my other writer friends aren't on here or I forgot their handles, sorry. Whoever comes across this and wants to play along, please feel free to do so!

[gillianthecat]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

Thank you for the tags @negrowhat @callipigio @respectthepetty @lelephantsnail and @firstkanaphans! I loved reading your answers.

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

I only started watching BL in July, so the genre as a whole took me as a surprise. And early on I didn't really know what to expect, so I wasn't really surprised by anything. But recently both Big Dragon and Eternal Yesterday have moved me in unexpected ways. Big Dragon because the story ended up being so different, and much more interesting, than the first episode led me to expect, and Eternal Yesterday because I started it having basically no idea what to expect and it's blown me away with it's storytelling and it's weird concept that somehow is tender and heartbreaking and funny and so very human.

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

Probably I would say Color Rush. I know it didn't come out this year, but that's when I saw it. It was one of the earliest BLs I watched, and I went into it with high expectations based on hearing great things about it and it just didn't work for me. I was intrigued by the concept, the execution just felt too sketched out to make it work for me. (Also I really wished that the only time it shifted into color was when the dude whose name and sci-fi identity I forget was actually seeing in color, and that it was in black and white for the rest. That alone would have made the world building feel more solid.) That said, I'm curious to re-watch it (since it's so short) and see if my opinion changes with a lot more BL under my belt.

If we're talking shows this year, probably Senpai This Can't Be Love! which started off intriguing, and then just kind of fizzled out. I didn't even watch the last two episodes. War of Y was more frustrating and infuriating, but I didn't have expectations for it in the first place so I wasn't that disappointed.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

AHH! How do I chose??? The ones I've given 10/10 have been: I Told Sunset About You, Bad Buddy, Old Fashion Cupcake, Utsukushii Kare (My Beautiful Man), Semantic Error, Blueming, and To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories. But even though I was a bit frustrated with the ending, the one that felt most like my show as I watched it week to week was The Eclipse. So maybe I will put that.

What are your favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

I made another post listing my top ten BL relationships so I will copy and paste it here. I don't know if my "couple" list would be different, but in making this one I was thinking specifically about the way they love each other, and if it felt like a love I believed.

Qi Zhang & Ye Guang (About Youth)

Pat & Pran (Bad Buddy)

Da-woon & Si-won (Blueming)

Mark & Vee (Love Mechanics)

Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare/My Beautiful Man)

Nozue & Togawa (Old Fashion Cupcake)

Jae-young and Sang-woo (Semantic Error)

Seo-joon & Ji-woo (To My Star & TMS2)

Fighter & Tutor (Why R U?)

Akk & Ayan (The Eclipse)

I wrote that in October, so I'd now add See-eiw & Cake (My Only 12%) and Yai and Mangkorn (Big Dragon) to the list. And Mitsuru & Koichi (Eternal Yesterday) will probably end up on there once it finishes.

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

Hmm. I'm taking this to mean someone who's never seen BL before. Probably Semantic Error or Old Fashion Cupcake. Both are really well crafted series, and are simple but still nuanced and interesting stories. I'd also put Bad Buddy on the list, in some ways it exists in conversation with other Thai BL, but it was the first I watched (besides ITSAY) and it still made sense to me and in a way that made it a good intro to Thai BL. There are many other shows that are a little odder or more difficult (ITSAY, Utsukushii Kare, Blueming) that I think could be a great introduction for the right person, but I wouldn't give them as a blanket rec.

And it's far, far too early to say as it's only been one episode, but if My School President keeps it up, that would be on the list as a tropey Thai high school BL expertly executed.

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

I have watched very little that wasn't BL this year. But The Devil Judge, despite being pretty obviously a gay romance story under the censorship, isn't technically a BL so I will say that one. If I'm allowed to go back to fall of 2021, (it ended less than a year ago!) I will put Wheel of Time.

Being late to the party means that a lot of you all have done this already, but as far as I could tell @thequeenofsastiel @petrichoraline @iguessitsjustme @biochemjess @bengiyo @benkaaoi @chawarin-panich @asdfghjklmpff @aliceisathome @clairificusrex @respectthepetty @poetry-protest-pornography @waitmyturtleshaven't yet.

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Nagi, have anything to say?

*In the check-up room, Kazuichi is sitting down as Nagi begins to do test on Kazuichi...*

...

So... how is it? Did you find anything?

Well I did discover a few things; when in the simulation - you seem to suffer from feeling nervous, restless or tense. Your heart-rate tends to increase in certain situations that don't involve murder, you have trouble sleeping and often after these fits of panic attacks you tend to feel weak and tired.

Okay but doesn't everyone else get like that? We were in a killing game.

I understand that but I think it's fairly noticeable even during your time at Hope's Peak Academy along with outside the simulation that it does fit the criteria for an anxiety disorder.

So I think I'll be listing off the types of anxiety you might have if that's okay.

U-Uh, okay sure thing...

I think from what I gather so far; you might be suffering from generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder and social anxiety disorder...

generalized anxiety disorder? Uh, can you uh... explain what each mean? I don't get it.

Very well, I'll explain all these to you. Generalized anxiety disorder is persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about activities or events — even ordinary, routine issues. The worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance, is difficult to control and affects how you feel physically. It often occurs along with other anxiety disorders or depression.

Which when looking into others; I think those 2 match mostly because you don't seem to have any issues with being separate from your parents nor do you have agoraphobia or selective mutism since it seems you can talk to the others just fine or take drugs.

Which narrowing it down, I think you might have panic disorder and social anxiety disorder.

So I got those, okay what does it have to do with that? Can ya explain?

Very well, I'll speak as best as I can; panic disorder involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes or panic attacks. You may have feelings of impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, or a rapid, fluttering or pounding heart or heart palpitations. These panic attacks may lead to worrying about them happening again or avoiding situations in which they've occurred.

While social anxiety disorder involves high levels of anxiety, fear and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.

I see... so your saying I have those? I know I had a lot of issues with middle school so I think the second one fits me.

Most likely from what I gather and since you tend to make really bad decisions based on when your stress or anxious; I feel these fit.

That's at least what I was able to figure out from your general behavior and attitude and maybe it could explain why; you weren't diagnose or medicated and given your poor background, it could explain a lot.

[remyfire]

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

[zorosdimples]

49, 56 and 57 for Yuuji and the self ship asks!!

(🩷 u, missed you today kae!!)

leigh—i love you so much 🥺

49. do either of us have a hard time being away from the other?

while yuuji and i are both incredibly independent, we both struggle with being apart! i think that he’s a little needier than i am; he’ll be gone for a few hours on a mission and text me “i already miss u :-(” and “don’t find anyone else while i’m gone :-(” . . . when he finally returns—even if it’s only a day later—he’s like a puppy with how excited and affectionate he is. i definitely struggle with being apart, too, but i show it and say it less because i tend to internalize my feelings! distance does make the heart grow fonder, though, and i think yuu secretly enjoys how i cling to him a bit once we’re reunited.

56. what do we do turn the other on/put each other in the mood?

yuuji is (for the most part) unintentionally sexy; some of his habits—like throwing on a pair of sweatpants in the morning to make me coffee only to yawn and stretch like a big cat—drive me insane. but he also knows that little acts of service carry me a long way. like showering/bathing together and helping me wash my body, giving me a massage, clasping a necklace, putting his hand on my thigh to “steady me” while he drives. he can be smooth when he wants to be!

as for me… it’s not difficult to turn yuuji on. he’s insatiable and the smallest things will make him horny. got forbid i wear tight pants or some shorts—or even a dress or skirt, for that matter—because all he can do is think about my ass. and sometimes he just finds the way i look at him sexy; like if he’s teasing me and i get all bitchy (grumpy and pouty), he eats it up. it’s easy for me to intentionally work him up! any physical affection really does the job. all i have to do is sidle up to him and start petting him and he’ll be putty in my hands… sighhhh baby boy <3

57. who’s the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart?

we have to order groceries online and pick them up because we are both THE ABSOLUTE WORST! every time we go to the grocery store in person it takes forever because we’re getting distracted by all the new and delicious options… and as a result end up with way more than we initially planned to get. we’re both the ooohhhh let’s try this! and this! and oh my god do you see this? type and it can get out of hand very quickly. it’s better if we make a list, complete our order online, then pick it up without having all of the tempting options right in front of us.

[mangalover4321]

While finishing up Requiem of a Redemption, I wanted to share some of the music I listen to while writing and what songs I think definitely reflects back on Shinjurou and the entire story. So here is the first part of my list of songs!

First up!

Za Za by Biv

This one has had the biggest impact on my writing and story. It is the song that I have connected with Shinjurou. Especially these lyrics right here:

Your voice is all I see too, the love I couldn't feed you I shouldn't try to teach you, all I wanted was to reach you Hold you till the sun up and turn the fuckin world off It's just us, just rip apart my flaws, love You never should of hurt, just because I'm so fucked up This is all that I deserve

It is just absolutely heartbreaking and related to Shinjurou as a person.

The War II by heylog

Fantastic song from heylog! They are one of my favorite musicians and I can not stop but praise their music! Everything is so amazing and it was hard to pick just one song from their entire career but the War II is definitely the most influential one on Requiem of a Redemption. Here are my favorite lyrics:

i'll fight till death if it keeps u safe i'll kill them all just to make sure ur okay they charge at me, hold my ground, be brave i lost my mind and there's nothing that remains

Tutorial on How to Smile by JAXXON D. SILVA featuring Haydn and GRXGVR

Honestly, I really just love the beat in this song, keeping the pace throughout it the same. My favorite part of the songs:

I'm only happy doing something that I'd die for Is there any tutorial on how to smile more, oh yeah

Hospital Beds Part II by Ethel Cain

Again, this song reminds of Shinjurou dealing with the fact that Ruka was actively dying and he could not do anything about it. He's already lost so much and with this, it really is the breaking point. My favorite part of the song:

I’ve been broken before But this time I’ve lost my life Cause every time I held yours You made me wanna keep mine

Ethel Cain just has an absolutely beautiful voice and you can feel the heartbreak in her vocals throughout the song.

Kill Me by XXXTentacion

Just...dear God, these lyrics are something else. Again, this song pulls at Shinjurou's PTSD and depression eventually descent in alcoholism. The most impactful lyrics from the song:

Kill me now, numb the pain, I just want it to stop Run away, run away from my broken heart

Sleepseason by slen featurin Idstayawaytoo

Sleepseason is one of my all-time favorite songs and not just because of the impact it had on Requiem of a Redemption. Just understanding the feeling of wanting to be better, again and again, and struggling to do it (which again relates to Shinjurou). My favorite lyrics from the song:

I'm sorry I apologize- 'pologize If I hurt you with my lies- with my lies I'm trying to be better now- better now I'ma get it right this time- right this time

Star Shopping by Lil Peep

Absolutely beautiful. This song always gets to me and I can not say it enough: this song is so influential. It doesn't matter how it relates to the story by the overall tone and musical composition in the song is something else. My favorite lyrics from the song:

Look at the sky tonight, all of the stars have a reason A reason to shine, a reason like mine and I'm fallin' to pieces Look at the sky tonight, all of those stars have a reason

The Devil Told Me I'm Not Alone by Gemini Aaliyah

A heartbreakingly beautiful song from Gemini Aaliyah. Great for helping to write some difficult scenes.

ITIIITIATIIHYLIHYL by Blackshape

This is a very unique song and I found it by accident! This is one of my favorite songs to listen to when writing fighting scenes. My favorite part of the very short lyrics:

If this is all there is I hope you live

Swan Dive by Convolk

Great song by convolk! This song is tied with another Convolk song, Anxiety, which I will include in my next post.

My favorite lyric in the song:

Why can't I seem to let you in Never really loved the man I been Never really kept my word but I'll run away Things caged and kept from you

Part two of my list will be posted song as well!

[13eyond13]

Hello I just excited saw your tags on an L post about what you think his enneagram type is !!! Can you go deeper into what u see his type as and why?? :)

Hi hi! I got into the Enneagram a couple years back for funsies, and I think L is probably a Type 5 with a 6 wing, which I guess is called either "The Troubleshooter" or "The Investigator" (lol, fitting).

The Type 5s tend to be quite logical and independent and intelligent, very focused on gathering information and sussing out meanings and analyzing and interpreting data. The Type 6 tends to be skeptical and private and cautious and focused, which I think would be his most likely secondary type (rather than the Type 4, which is a bit more of an artsy and emotional and sensitive type).

Here is what the write-up for the 5w6 says:

People with an enneagram type 5 wing 6 personality usually identify the most with the type 5, but also share traits with the 6 type. They tend to be practical, independent, and logical in their behavior. They are much more cooperative than other 5 types and have a passion for using their knowledge to solve real-world problems.

Basic Fear

Five wing sixes fear being useless or incapable. They seek to improve the world around them in order to feel worthy.

Basic Desire

Their basic desire is to be competent and useful. They usually show this by picking up new skills and pieces of knowledge that can be of benefit.

Troubleshooters may withdraw from others to cope with stressful situations, which can tend to make them feel lonely.

In summary, Enneagram 5w6 personalities tend to...

Be hard-working and analytical problem-solvers

Withdraw from others when stressed

Prefer to spend time thinking alone

Fear being incapable or incompetent

Make practical and logical decisions

Enneagram 5w6 Strengths

Being focused and well-organized

Passion for learning and growing

Solving difficult or complex problems

Remaining calm in times of crisis

Enneagram 5w6 Weaknesses

Struggling to relate to and understand others

Tendency to be private and defensive

Being perceived as cold or aloof

Difficulty taking action when uninspired

How Enneagram 5w6 personalities like to work

Communicating with an Enneagram 5w6

Avoid emotional expressions and allow five wing sixes space to think and process.

Meeting with an Enneagram 5w6

Keep meetings short and sweet; focus on clearly addressing the purpose.

Emailing an Enneagram 5w6

Be direct when emailing, allowing five wing sixes to share insightful and new ideas.

Giving feedback to an Enneagram 5w6

Offer constructive criticism and honest feedback; give specific areas for improvement.

Resolving conflict with an Enneagram 5w6

Focus on logically expressing your perspective; work toward a mutual understanding, allowing them time to think privately, if needed.

Enneagram 5w6 Motivations

Enneagram 5w6s tend to be motivated and energized by...

Solving or preventing problems

Spending time alone to gather their thoughts

Feeling like they’re contributing to society

Pursuing knowledge in the specific area that sparks their personal interest

Enneagram 5w6 Stress

Enneagram 5w6s tend to be stressed and drained by...

Spending too much time around others

Needing to be emotionally vulnerable

Feeling unwanted or rejected by others

Self-doubt and insecurity

--

I think it all sounds a lot like him. The introversion and fierce independence, the problem-solving skills and preoccupation with privacy when socializing, withdrawn when moody and listless when uninspired, etc. The list of strengths and motivations reminds me a lot of him when he is successfully honing in on Kira during the beginning of the story, and the stresses and weaknesses remind me a lot of L when he is struggling more during the Yotsuba Arc.

[ceramicdove]

hello dove! i am intending to send a similar ask to matthew and angie so if u see them answering asks of the like thats whats up. anyways, i finished jane austens persuasion today. its a rlly lovely book, pondering on something i never rlly thought of but which has enlightened me quite a lot as someone in the position of persuader myself. theres a lot of craft put into it thats very clever and delightful... but i only realised it by reading the introduction after reading the whole book! im not very good at noticing literary techniques at all or implications in words and actions unless theyre very obvious :( reasonably this troubles me (although i hope this ask does not do the same for u)

as someone who reads a lot i assume or just has a great deal of passion for what u read , what do u do to become more sensitive to texts so u can form such nuanced and layered takes! or really how do u read in general?

hello to you too, lab! it took me a while to get around to this, though I strongly enjoyed angie’s and matthew's responses. I've yet to read persuasion, but you make me curious about it, so I may add it to my reading list. Thank you for choosing me to answer this as well! It's an honour.

angie and matthew both wrote very solid and informative responses with more practical advice, so I will ruin this streak of well-sharpened answers by offering you the most dove-like response there is: one that is very long, tangential, and convoluted. this is a theoretical and personal response, it will carry parts that are more like general rants on how people engage with reading, rather than things targeted at you specifically. but this is just how I am. you likely already knew that when you chose to ask me this.

To preface my actual thoughts with a more personal & anecdotal segment: despite your assumption, I actually don't read a lot (what even is "a lot"?), despite wanting to. I'm frequently disappointed with my short-comings in reading and analysis. I have glaring issues with feeling restless and having a poor attention span and memory while reading, which makes it difficult for me to parse through long texts. Like you, I struggle with taking certain things at face value. I have to rely on re-reading a lot.

It's something I beat myself up over frequently. I'm very eager to pursue knowledge, and I always feel like the more I learn, the more I realise I ultimately know absolutely nothing. It's so easy to feel unbearably small. It's a very human thing, but it also makes it difficult to healthily relate with myself when I set such a high bar. at times, it has made me very doubtful about whether my thoughts are worthy of sharing.

Plenty of those who either are or wish to be into analysis & literature place a lot of value and pressure on the act of being someone intellectual, someone who reads a lot, someone who can read a book one time, understand it, and walk away to the next book. I get a lot of youtube videos about literature in my recommended, videos about people who read dozens upon dozens of books in a year, people who read 15 long books in just one month. It's a nice mental image, no? you must be so smart, being able to say "I read 100 books this year!"

I have never read 100 books in one year. I probably never will.

I think many of us don't engage with reading the way we should. I think there's too much pressure placed on being fast and doing more, instead of taking your time and doing better.

reading is a skill. the ideal way to improve a skill is not by mindlessly practicing a lot or as fast as you can, just so you can feel fulfilled by the concept of practicing so much. the ideal way of improving a skill is by identifying your own blind spots, your pace & personal needs, and understanding each piece of knowledge you gain as you evolve.

this is NOT to say that anyone who reads a lot must be a faux-pas intellectual who doesn't actually understand what they're reading, or that you HAVE to pour over every paragraph in a literary work in order to be a good reader. my point is that the desire to "read more" (implicitly the desire to be fulfilled, passionate, smart) is a slippery slope into feeling inferior because you can't read fast enough, can't understand a specific metaphor, can't understand a book if you only read it once, can't do [X] and [Y].

we are all different people, with vastly different minds, needs, and limits.

this is something I'm still coming to terms with. I'm 17, going on 18, and my relationship with art & analysis is constantly shifting as I age. but, fucking hell, you can read just 3 books front-to-back in a year and still have that be more impactful than reading 30 books, solely based on what you read and how you choose to extend your time and sensibility to the work.

You can dedicate a year of your life to loving one singular work, researching all of its references, absorbing its vision. You can do that with just one work, and have that singular experience expand your general culture, evolve your relationship with art and analysis as a whole, or even change your life. Conversely, you can have a massive bookshelf and still have the sensibility & analysis skills of a cardboard box. We are obsessed with doing more, and subsequently beating ourselves up for not doing more, for no reason at all.

the point I'm trying to make is that many of us are a little too hard on ourselves, or are looking at things from the wrong angle. and I really do understand your sentiment of being troubled! I finished utena last night and found myself almost overwhelmed by how much content & symbolism there was that I still needed to go back to and grasp. there were moments when I questioned my own merits as someone who enjoys critical analysis.

but there's a reason why many books have published student guides: lots of people will naturally struggle to grasp certain literary devices. there is no shame in using whatever resources you have at hand. there are entire books and blogs published on understanding specific authors and their works. there's a reason why author's notes exist.

there will be authors who will confuse you, authors that will make you second-guess yourself constantly, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. we all have different lives, minds, and artistic visions. some authors just have narrative voices you can't connect with very well, and that can be a matter of personal discrepancy. there will be times when you will have to offer yourself patience or look towards external sources. similarly, because you have your own individual mind and vision, there will be instances where other people may seek your help, or praise you for how easily you could grasp an idea that is natural to you, but complex to others.

part of my sensibility as both a reader & writer came from acknowledging all of the aforementioned things, and fighting to untangle them in my mind so I can read in a way that is natural to me and my needs. this is something I still do every day. I still doubt myself every day. I still feel guilty every day. for not being smart enough, not understanding things fast enough, not being a good learner, not being able to use my own words when I need to. but ultimately, I try to remain as open as I can.

would some people be surprised to hear that a lot of my ideas on ES, the ones you and I have spoken of, stem from information I've slowly picked up from other people? I did not re-invent the wheel! I was just open to everything until I started to alchemize everything I learned into my own ideas.

I was insanely different when I first started reading these stories back in the summer of 2021. it's now december 2022, I have re-read some of them more times than I can count. I have read other people's thoughts, at first passively, as a neutral audience member taking everything in, then critically, as someone who has a more solidified vision. the thing is, I still remain open, and still believe I essentially know nothing. but I needed external influence to get to this point.

angie is actually someone who helped me feel more driven towards pursuing and sharing my thoughts with people before we were even friends like we are now, and his analysis & writing is very meaningful and dear to me. it can be really important to have people you can talk to and share ideas with, and that can prove to be mutually beneficial as well. I'm not exactly sure where I'd be now if it weren't for his presence!

in my own case, another part of being nuanced and layered lies in my nature of being open. there is no secret mechanism to this. the truth is, I am inherently what some would call naive. the word "naive" is quite derogatory, and it's true that carrying this childishness has caused me a lot of cognitive dissonance, emotional turmoil, and consequences. but, sometimes, and especially in the field of art, it grants me a special kind of sensibility. it's part of who I am. I am very open to wonder and to child-like feelings. I am very prone to offering the benefit of the doubt and to believing in everything and everyone. I am not a push-over, but I am malleable. I absorb everything around me until I can mature my knowledge and evolve my own ideas.

this can be a downfall, it can cause me to become so conflicted with my ideas that I can't bear it, and it has isolated me at times. but it has also manifested itself as an artistic and interpretative strength, an internal world I see that others cannot.

look into yourself and how you engage with art, and come to terms with your own strengths and needs as someone who both creates and engages with creations. you are a very sensible and intelligent person, and I admire you for that. perhaps we all just need more time with ourselves in order to find a method of engaging with texts that is more personal and holistic to us.

generally speaking, in no particular order, this is what I do:

-> I re-read the material as many times as I feel called to. re-reading is my natural way of evolving information. I seek patterns and reoccurring symbols, structures that sew the story together.

-> I take note of any terms or references that are foreign to me, and I research them as deeply as I can to see if I can find anything useful to my interpretation. sometimes, I will put coloured post-it indexes on the pages of a book to mark information I plan to research at a later time, or I use my highlighter chrome extension if I'm reading digitally. wikipedia, articles, academic papers, and guidebooks are my best friends.

-> I stay open to what other people are saying and weigh in their perspectives. I try to understand people's backgrounds, as well as what they seek from the story, so I can understand why they look at it in that way. I take information that is new and intriguing to me, and I leave the rest behind.

-> I can get very restless and overwhelmed quickly if I focus too much on a text, so I give myself time to process information. I write down analysis notes, half-baked as they may be in the beginning, in order to unravel any confused and tangled thoughts in my mind and give myself space to think and evolve more calmly.

-> I listen to ambiental music or meditate in order to cool off and allow ideas to come to me more easily. entering this flow state can be crucial to me as someone who easily gets too energetic or tense when trying to process information and ideas.

-> I try to take a step back when I am frustrated with my understanding of a text, and I either seek external resources, come back to it a bit later, or I put it on the backburner for when I feel that my reading skills are more developed and I can tackle it more confidently.

I could say a million other things, but I already think it's a miracle if you even read this far in the first place. if you did, thank you. I emphatise with your feelings a lot, since I have shared similar experiences with understanding prose, poetry, and plays alike. this is something I am still actively learning for myself. I hope we can both continue finding ways to grow as readers!

[blues824]

wait do you still accept requests for obey me?? if so, can i request the brothers with riddle s/o?? y'know like his personality and also the overblot. i kin riddle. 😔 thank u. <3

I do write for Obey Me, as well as a list of other Fandoms. I should probably update the list, tho.

However, as of now, I am not accepting any more requests until August 20th because I will be adjusting my schedule to accommodate my writing and my schoolwork. 

Lucifer

It is purely comical how short you are compared to him and his brothers. He would be one of the ones to tease you about your height, and you would get mad. It was a lot like how he called Luke a dog or a Chihuahua (fun fact, I have a German Taco dog myself!)

He understands your strong desire to maintain order within the household, however it has been proven to be more than difficult. You would not let this stand, and you’re always looking for a challenge anyway. Every time any of the brothers broke a rule of the House of Lamentation, you would collar them. 

He gets a bit concerned whenever you dive very deep into your studies and limit yourself to certain activities. You would rather stay in and study for a test that isn’t for another 2 months rather than go out to dinner with him. Some days, he would drag you to Hell’s Kitchen and just not give you a choice.

When he asks about why you’re so dedicated to the rules, you tell him about the one time where you went against your mother’s commands and got in really bad trouble for it. The free study time you had was immediately revoked and she watched you like a hawk.

After a few months, you just can’t take it anymore. You are done with how your hard work never gets noticed or how the brothers keep breaking the rules. You were just so tired. So, it led to your inevitable overblot.

No one knows what’s going on, all they know is that you are covered in ink and you have what seems like a monster trailing behind you. No one knows… except Lucifer. You see, he had asked a bunch of questions about where you’re from and you told him about overblot and how it works. He (rather easily) defeats you and you are lying unconscious. He carries you to your room where you can rest until you wake up.

When you do, you tell him about how you were raised in such a toxic household. Your parents never got along and your mother was just horrible… probably worse than the Red Queen herself. As Lucifer listened to you, he was growing angrier that you had to endure such pain in your life. 

Mammon

How in the hell did you agree to go out with this man?! Did you gain an attraction to rule breakers or something? As you can probably already tell, your personalities are going to clash… but you really took the whole “opposites attract” thing seriously.

He’s the main source of the chaos in the House of Lamentation. He’s the headache that keeps coming and going every time he walks in and out of the room you’re in. He has been beheaded so many times it’s not funny anymore.

He acts attention starved whenever you are studying. He will drape himself over your lap to get your attention. Sad golden retriever energy right here. Whenever you decline a date and choose books over him, he will get upset.

He definitely asks why you aren’t paying attention to him and out of exasperation you spilled the tea. You told him that the one time you slacked off, you got in a lot of trouble for it and you would never make that mistake again. He was sad that you called hanging out with him a ‘mistake’.

After a few months of him following you around like a lost puppy while also tending to the other brothers (and by tending to, I mean collaring). You eventually snapped and started cackling out of nowhere. Ink started pouring from your mouth and started covering your skin. The brothers were all in shock as your voice had another accompanying it. It looked like a creature was dragging on behind you as well.

You became aggressive, causing the brothers to turn into their demon forms. You were destroying the garden as well as some of the house. He then remembers that this is life-threatening for you. Your body wasn’t meant to withstand the raw negative energy surging through you.

After tiring you out, you eventually pass out. He volunteers to carry you to your room, where he waits by your bedside until you wake up. When you do, you tell him about the borderline abuse you went through growing up. Mammon made a vow that he tries his hardest to keep: to make sure you never have to go through anything like that again.

Leviathan

He wouldn’t comment on your height. He likes you too much, he can barely talk to you normally. How do you expect him to tease you about something out of your control? However, he will still be poking fun at Luke… unless you tell him to stop.

He usually doesn’t cause as much chaos, considering he’s locked up in his room. You understand that social anxiety is real and so you applaud him for finding a way around this obstacle (remember? Virtual classes). You only wish that the students back at Heartslabyul were as resourceful.

He won’t directly ask you for attention. He’s gonna gaslight you. Talking about the whole, “Of course you wouldn’t want to pay attention to me. I’m just a yucky otaku, after all.” You, coming from the toxic family you have, were able to see right through his pick-me boy facade. You told him that you needed to study and would hang out with him when you had free time.

When you finally get fed up with him, you yell at him to go away and leave you alone. You also added the “you act worse than my mother, and she was absolutely insufferable!” and now he looks like a kicked puppy.

One day, he noticed that you were collaring your friends left and right, while your face was red in anger. It truly looked like you were a volcano about to erupt. You snapped at everyone who dared step in front of you. Then, you erupted. The ‘lava’ was ink, seeping from your mouth and crawling all over. A monster started forming behind you, and it was huge.

Each brother turned into their demon forms and teamed up to defeat you. Levi knew this wasn’t you. Your voice was two-toned, and it reminded him of a game he had played a while ago. If it were anything like that game, then he knew it was life-threatening for you to be in this state.

Once you passed out, he stayed by your side. He wouldn’t leave you for one second, not even to eat. Whenever someone tried to take him out of the room, he’d attack them. When you woke up, he apologized. It was a sad and genuine apology. You forgave him, but told him that he’d have to build up your trust in him again.

Satan

Wouldn’t directly make fun of your height. He would do this thing where he uses you as an arm-rest to remind you of how short you are. Also, he would either hand you a ladder when you are reaching for something, or he’d lift you like Rafiki did to Simba in The Lion King.

He understands your unusually strong desire to maintain order. If he could collar his brothers, he would with no hesitation. However, it irritates him whenever he is the one with the collar on. He makes it a point to never make you angry again.

He also understands why you dive so deep into your studies. He would much rather keep his nose in a book than go out with his brothers any day. He gets angry whenever you turn him down and study instead, though. 

After a while in the Devildom, you start getting stressed. Making sure everyone followed the rules, trying to stay on top of assignments, trying to maintain the social aspect of your life… it wasn’t good for your mental wellbeing. It was just too much for you to deal with. So, you accumulated too much overblot.

Ink started flowing out of your mouth and spreading to your arms and legs. Your voice was accompanied by a voice that went 5 octaves lower than normal. Satan saw you transforming and it almost came as a complete shock… almost. If he only saw the signs that were right in front of him, he could have prevented this somehow.

He and his brothers easily tired you out and you fell. He carried you to your room and laid you on your bed. He left for a brief moment and came back with a book. He planned to read the story of Alice in Wonderland to you.

As he read to you, he noticed that your fingers started twitching. He took your hand in his, kissed your knuckles, and whispered many apologies to you. When your eyes fluttered open, he pulled you into a tight embrace, mainly to hide his tears of relief.

Asmodeus

He’s the shortest of his brothers, so he doesn’t make fun of you. Instead, he would give you tons of compliments. He would also have fun making outfits for you based on the Queen of Hearts. He loves the bold reds and gold paired with black and white.

He’s the life of the party, so your personalities tend to clash a lot. The amount of times he’s been collared is astronomical. However, he takes it any other way besides a form of punishment and will style his outfits accordingly.

Also, he doesn’t like to study at all. He hates it when you don’t go out with him and instead you have your nose in a textbook. He will pick you up and carry you out of the house if he has to, but you have to go shopping with him >:(

When you tell him about your toxic mother, he’s the kind of demon to hand you a box of tissues and comfort you. He is angry that you had to go through such a traumatic childhood. Then he’ll take you shopping to take your mind off of your horrible memories.

With each time you collar someone, you accumulate quite a bit of overblot. Because the brothers can’t go 5 minutes without breaking some sort of rule, you gain too much overblot. As he saw the ink spread all over you, he felt guilt consume him. This was his fault.

When he and his brothers took you down, you fell to the floor. After bringing you to your room, he will make sure that you are well taken care of. He can’t help but feel responsible and therefore obligated to do these things for you.

When you wake up, he will cry tears of joy. He will help you out of your bed and shout for everyone else. He apologizes so many times, it’s not even funny anymore. However, that guilt still consumes him to this day.

Beelzebub

He’s too nice to make fun of your height. He might make fun of Luke, but that’s because he’s technically a child. It’s like calling him ‘kid’. Being the tallest brother, however, he will help you if you need anything from the top shelf.

You have a rule where no one can eat your tarts without your permission. You have told him again and again about this rule. He forgets one day and violates that rule and he was stuck with a collar around his neck until he apologized and made you another tart.

I don’t think he minds studying too much. He’s doing better than Mammon academically, so yeah. Plus, if he didn’t have good grades, he’d probably be kicked off of the Fangol team. You just have to have tons and tons of snacks if you want him to pay attention and not eat the assignment. However, he doesn’t like it when you choose studying over hanging out with him.

While taking a nap with your usual sleeping buddies, you have a horrible nightmare. Your insufferable tyrant of a mother caught you outside with a tart in your hand. You woke up screaming and both Beel and Belphie looked at you for an explanation.

Once you told them about your traumatic life, Beel proceeded to hold you in a bear-hug. He didn’t know you went through such a tough time so young. He felt angry at your mother for traumatizing you. 

After a few months of collaring people, stressing over assignments, and trying to follow the rules of the House of Lamentation in addition to the Queen’s… you overblot. It scared him because you told him that it could be life-threatening. He didn’t want to lose you.

After defeating you, he carried you to your room. He stayed by your bedside everyday and night. When you wake up, he pulls you into a tight hug. No words were exchanged, but you knew that he was promising to you that you would never have to go through anything like that again.

Belphegor

He definitely would point out your height at any chance he gets. He would call you “short”, “shortie”, “shortcake”, and he would lean on you like you were an arm-rest. He would taunt you whenever you tried reaching for something high up as well.

He doesn’t understand your strong dedication to the rules. He also doesn’t like when he gets collared for sleeping. Like, it’s not something he can control! It’s not fair! You think rule-breaking is black and white, but he tries to get you to see the grey area.

He may sleep during class, but he retains the information in his sleep. Therefore, he has pretty decent grades. However, he doesn’t enjoy it when you choose to study rather than cuddle him while napping. Like, how rude >:(

While napping with him one time, you have a nightmare. Belphie notices you tossing and turning while crying and he wakes you up. When you tell him that your mother was in your nightmare, he uses his power to get you back to sleep and have a more peaceful dream.

When you wake up and tell him that your mother has been watching over your every move since you could remember. You would be punished if you got anything less than 1st place in anything. You’ve been practicing magic since you could read spells. He gives you a hug and tells you that your mother isn’t here and that you could take it easy now. He’d protect you (sure…)

After about a year passes for you in the Devildom, your stress levels reach an all time high. You are collaring people who break even the slightest rule, you are worrying about assignments that aren’t even due until a few weeks, plus you died so you just weren’t the happiest camper. As a result, you overblot. Belphegor feels guilty. How could he not? He is responsible for 2 of 3 of the factors of your overblot. He uses his powers to make you go to sleep, so you fall. He has Beel carry you to your room and place you in your bed. Belphie lies next to you and waits until you wake up.

[lovetals]

hey bestie😁

can i req a ayaka, ganyu & keqing x gn!reader (seperate)

and its basically their favorite cuddling positions, like for an example spooning, sweetheart cradle, etc etc

+ and why its their favorite, maybe a few scenarios with them if u want

ty! i love ur work. u dont have to do this if u dont want to :)

cuddle time!

synopsis: just some cuddling hcs and their preferences uwu

characters: keqing, ganyu, ayaka (seperate)

deets: fluff, very ooc characters, ganyu’s is way too short i’m sorry ganyu fans 😭

notes: eek my first ever request!! you have no clue how thrilled i was to get one, anon! (≧▽≦) i’ll be honest, i have no clue how to write these characters, but that just gave me an excuse to read about them on wiki hehe >:3 tho i do apologize if they come off as ooc because of it—i wasn’t able to think up any scenarios because of that so i do apologize 😓 i hope these headcanons will suffice, maybe one day i’ll do a scenario <3 also, tysm for being so sweet in this request! you make me want to pinch your cheeks and call you adorable (/▽＼*)｡o○♡

had to look up some cuddling positions so a majority of the ones i reference/list came from this article

keqing

❀ i think keqing would actually be really lenient when it comes to cuddling, she doesn’t have much complaints and is just pleased to be close with you. her only request is to be facing you and to always have your face visible to her. right off the bat it’s obvious that she dislikes the yin-yang position and the mirror, though the last one isn’t really what we imagine when we hear the word “cuddle”

❀ since she’s a hard worker that never slows down she does slightly favor the one where you lay across her lap because it’s so convenient when her work requires her to sit in one place (she loves to run her fingers through your hair or to be able to rub her thumb across your cheek)

❀ a con for being a hard worker, however, is that she never notices just how long she’s been working without a break and when she’s told to take one she brushes it off. i think keqing actually doesn’t burnout very quickly or get exhausted often, her motives to keep working drives her far and to great lengths, she gets a boost when she accomplish something, especially if that something is to prove a point

❀ this isn’t to say to just leave her be, please keep an eye out for her and make sure to know when she’s reached her limit :(. she needs this to be pointed out to her sometimes even if she tries to keep track of it herself

❀ when she has reached her limit it’s not too difficult to get her to relax, all you gotta do is the sweetheart position. she gets so sleepy during this and drifts off quickly, trying to bring her head and hands as close to your chest as possible

❀ loves it when you run your fingers through her hair btw, but since her hairstyle is kinda hard to navigate around you take it down, removing any accessories that keep it up

❀ overall, she’s fine with any cuddling position so long as she gets to see your face—it’s a sight she loves to end the day with and to start another

ganyu

❀ another person that’s fine with any cuddling position, but unlike keqing she loves spooning. it’s so easy to do and requires minimal effort, which kinda works out for her since she’s prone to falling asleep quickly. ganyu usually drapes her arms over your shoulders from behind to fall asleep so she tends to be the big spoon on accident

❀ don’t forget to be the big spoon every once in a while tho! she loves to be the one hugged at times even if she isn’t very vocal of it at first

❀ one thing she loves more than spooning is the sweetheart—it’s so comfortable and if she’s the one resting her head against your head she gets to hear your heartbeat. she also must trust you quite a bit to let you rest your head near the top of hers since her horns are rather sensitive—a feeling that i’m not sure if she enjoys or not

❀ i think ganyu would also be a fan of the courtship at times, she enjoys the feeling of your hands in hers and it gives her the chance to compare the size. it serves her a reminder that even if she is half-qilin, even if she isn’t sure where she belongs, she will always feel at home with you

ayaka

❀ i know that i’m just repeating myself at this point when i say that she loves any position, but given her past you have to agree with me on this. just a simple action such as handholding is enough to make her blush heavily so to be cuddling you? oh my... (￣▽￣*)ゞ

❀ a position as simple as spooning would definitely be one of her favorites, she likes it when you embrace her from behind while she does some work, but for moments when you lay in bed she prefers the sweetheart

❀ since ayaka hasn’t really gotten to experience much affection growing up she seems to prefer being the little spoon/being held by you, but would want to try to switch the roles out of curiosity. she actually likes it quite a bit so don’t be shy to ask if she’d like to switch! she’d be more than happy to comply

❀ one thing that makes ayaka different from the first two that i wrote is that she loves it when her legs are wrapped around yours. the pretzel is the one that makes her fall more in love with you. she can’t explain why she loves it so much other than that she just enjoys the feeling of being closer to you a lot. ayaka doesn’t like to leave much space between the two of you so she tries to close it as much as possible

❀ as flexible as i made her out to be, she really doesn’t like the courtship position—it’s something she’ll refuse as politely as she can. the feeling of someone’s lips on the back of her hand is a feeling she’s familiar with and hates it—it just reminds her of how those in inazuma view her and the distance she can’t close with them due to her social status. even if the roles were reversed she still doesn’t like it: ayaka likes to think of you as her equal

❀ but it’s kind of difficult for her to think that way with how much she looks up to you, thanking archons that she’s so lucky to have found someone as great as you

[sipsteainanxiety]

from the prompt list, bakugou w a short s/o and an “against the wall kiss” 👀👀

sorry this is so late uhhh college fucked me over 😀 but im on summer break now so hopefully i can start answering asks again 🥴 this one shot kinda sorta got away from me hsjsks

word count: 2.7k+

mentions: idt i used pronouns?, prolly slightly female coded tho, maybe ooc baku, suggestive content at end u have been warned, older au

You were (maybe) pissed at Bakugou.

You understood the urge he had to continuously train. To build himself up to the high standards he set as he grinded to become a full-fledged pro hero. You got it, you really did. He worked so hard for his goals, and you endlessly supported him from the sidelines as you worked towards your own. You knew how difficult it was for him, how full his schedule could get. And it didn’t matter to you at the end of the day; as long as you were together, you could handle the occasional bouts of loneliness. You were not that dependent on him, after all.

Between both of your busy schedules - with you in grad school and him working as a sidekick - there was hardly any time to really hang out together. Sure you both lived in the same apartment, but your different working hours made it hard to see each other at times. It didn’t bother you too much; not particularly. Sometimes, you would wake up in the middle of the night to see him slip into bed beside you, exhaustion apparent in the way he would immediately pass out. It was those instances you treasured, just holding him as he dozed away, completely unaware.

But sometimes, there were moments when there was a patch of free time that matched up in both your schedules. You would seize the chance to finally get some awake time together, doing whatever you both wanted. Sometimes you would laze around in the living room. Other times you would have a nice little date at a restaurant. It didn’t matter to either of you. The moments were so rare that you took what you could get.

Recently, however, you found that Bakugou… was starting to flake out on your free time together. You didn’t mind the first time. Or the second. You knew that there were often instances where he had to go into the agency he worked in to take care of unexpected business that randomly popped up. It made all the difference, seeing that he was in his pivotal years of being a sidekick; what he did now would make or break his transition into becoming a pro hero. It wasn’t until he flaked out on your fifth evening together that you started to figure that something… just wasn’t right.

You knew his schedule. Knew that he usually spent a couple hours training before coming home. So he was either overtraining himself - again - or coincidentally kept getting on site calls on the same days you both had a date planned. You weren’t angry by it, but rather, confused. And a bit worried. So you confronted him about it - just to make sure he wasn’t unintentionally harming himself with work overload, as he tended to do every once in a while.

And, well, his response didn’t do much to ease up your stormy thoughts.

“’ve just got a lot to do, babe,” Bakugou had grunted one night after he’d slipped into bed again in the wee hours of very early morning. “Work keeps pilin’ on. I’ll make it up to ya later, promise.”

Later never came, it seemed.

Again, and again, and again, he flaked out on your little dates. You learned not to expect much from him in those regards. You reassured him that you didn’t mind, no really, you didn’t, you understood. But you were growing tired, and this just piled onto the worry you had for him and his tendency to just keep going until he burned out. You were a patient person, yes, but even you had your limits.

It wasn’t until you realized you hadn’t seen him in over a month that you started to get a bit pissed.

Maybe it was the stress of finals season. Maybe it was the fact that you’d lately been waking up to cold, empty sheets - the kind that told you he’d ended up spending the night at the agency again. Maybe you were simply PMS-ing. Maybe you were just that fucking touch-starved. But your emotions were everywhere, and you decided that you would let yourself be a bit angry. Just this once. Not at Bakugou, in particular, but at life. At his job. At his tendency to overwork himself so much for his dreams.

...which maybe did essentially extend to being pissed at him. But you knew he couldn’t help it! He was trying to be a pro hero, and you’d be damned if you’d stand in the way because of your petulant emotions! So you tried to hold it all in, gathering all your emotions up and squeezing them into a teeny tiny ball. You tried not to pester him too much, but he eventually started being less and less receptive even through texts, and you… didn’t know what to do anymore.

And… well… you ended up stewing in your thoughts for well over a week, rotating between being worried, mad, lonely, desperate - the whole nine yards. And that teeny ball just ended up growing… and growing… and growing… Until it eventually got to the point where you were a messy ball of emotions ready to burst. But you liked to think you handled them pretty well.

At least, until Bakugou came home early one day.

You were just folding some clothes, ruminating in your emotions and thoughts as you often tended to do when you weren’t busy studying. You were at an odd impasse where you were angry, understanding, and sad. They didn’t make up a good combination. You hadn’t heard the front door click open and shut. Nor the sounds of Bakugou shoving off his boots and tossing his bag to the side. Or the bedroom door creaking open. But you did feel the arms snake around your waist, a heated kiss pressed to the back of your neck.

To say you jumped would be an understatement.

“Jeez, Katsuki!” you nearly shrieked out as you flinched out of his hold, turning around abruptly to shoot him an annoyed glare. He raised an eyebrow at you, glancing down at your balled up fists that had one of your jeans held in them. “Don’t just sneak up on me like that, holy shit! I nearly had a heart attack!”

“Feelin’ a bit on edge, huh?” he hummed out as he watched you step away from him, folding up the jeans in your grasp before setting them down on the bed next to the other pairs of pants you’d folded.

“You could say that,” you murmured as you nimbly stepped around him as he tried to wrap an arm around you again. Ignoring the way he stared at you, you focused on putting away the folded clothes into their designated drawers. You were still trying to process the fact that he was here. He was home early for once, a rarity in itself. You were chewing on the emotions currently on your plate, though, unsure of what to digest. Eventually, you decided that being just a bit irritated was good enough.

“Is it school? Ya got finals, right?” Bakugou asked as he tried to step up closer to you again, only to have you dodge around him and make your way out of the bedroom. You could hear him following behind you like a lost, spiky puppy, but you made a point not to look at him for too long. You could still distinctly see the furrowed brows on his face as he stared at you so hard it was almost akin to a glare.

“Yeah,” you answered in a sort-of clipped voice. Part of you knew you were being a bit petty. He didn’t deserve this kind of relationship stress on top of whatever he was dealing with at work. But you couldn’t help it. You wanted him to know you weren’t pleased with what had been happening. Eventually, you’ll talk to him, but for now you’re content with letting him follow you around as you tended to the chores you’d accidentally let pile up. And if that was an excuse for you to figure out what to say to him, then, well, he didn’t need to know that.

He didn’t say much after that, instead just watching you carefully as you walked to and from the laundry machines to pick up and dump some loads in. You occasionally had to dodge by him, avoiding his touches like they were the plague. But he mostly just stood in the bedroom doorway, watching you fold the clothes with his arms crossed against his chest. He almost looked intimidating like that, with his solid build and sharp, crimson eyes. You knew Bakugou was not one to wait for long. Frankly, it surprised you that he went almost ten minutes without doing anything.

It wasn’t until you’d accidentally cornered yourself by the closet that he made his move.

You heard him before you felt him. The heavy steps he took behind you before something grasped your upper arm and turned you around. You barely had time to drop the hoodie in your hands, your back coming into contact gently with the wall next to the closet door. You glanced up at Bakugou, the way he practically trapped you against the wall. His eyes pierced through your own, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to dance your way out of this.

“You’re mad,” he stated gruffly, leaning down further so that you could just barely feel his hot breath on your forehead.

“I’m not mad,” you said in return, turning your head to the side so that you wouldn’t have to look up at him. It hurt your neck to do so, the difference in your heights stark with the way he had you pressed against the wall.

“Yeah you are,” he muttered as he leaned and pressed a kiss against your neck. You tried to ignore him, still staring out to the side as you tapped your foot against the ground to release some of the adrenaline that was suddenly rushing through your veins. You wanted nothing more than to just embrace him, sink into the hold you’d been craving ever since he started working more. But, well, you were also a tad bit stubborn. “Tell me.” He wasn’t asking, he was demanding.

“I’m not,” you instead insisted, breath hitching slightly as he turned his head to start pressing kisses along your jawline. You hunched your shoulders slightly, feeling the strands of his ash blond hair start to tickle your neck. You would not succumb..!

“Bullshit,” he breathed into your ear before you suddenly felt him grasp your cheeks with his hand, turning your head so that you could look up at him. You watched the way his hair framed his sharp face, admired his smooth skin and brilliant, brilliant eyes. He tilted his head down until his forehead pressed against yours and forced you to keep eye contact with him, your breaths mingling together in the small space that separated your mouths. “Talk to me.”

You simply stared at him for a bit longer, closing your eyes momentarily before opening them. “I’m not mad,” you whispered softly, feeling his hand move to rest on the dip of your hip. “Not really. I’m mostly worried,” you felt his eyebrows raise slightly, “about you. You work too hard, and I worry you’re not letting yourself rest.”

“I can handle myself,” he frowned, and you immediately knew he was starting to get a bit irked himself.

“I know, I know,” you rushed out before he could assume anything else. “But you need breaks, y’know? And I…” you trailed off for a moment, eyes averting from his own. “I miss you. A lot. I haven’t seen you in a month, Katsuki, and I missed…. us.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Bakugou asked quietly, his hand opposite hand moving so that it could cup the curve of your cheek, thumb brushing against it gently. You lifted your own hand to grasp at his wrist. As though if your hold were any looser, he would disappear again, out of your grip.

“I didn’t wanna bother you,” you admitted, leaning into his touch when he pressed your foreheads closer. “You’ve been working so hard, and you’ve been so busy… I’m not gonna stand in the way if it means you’re getting closer to becoming a pro.”

“You wouldn’t bother me,” he scoffed, making you scrunch up your nose when his breath puffed against your face. “What kinda fuckin’ hero would I be if I couldn’t balance my shitty schedule? I…” He swallowed slightly, his Adam's apple bobbing a bit. “I’ve been busy lately, yeah. I needed the money and the recognition. I didn’t mean for it to cut into our date time, or whatever. It kinda escaped me.” The hand on your hip slipped behind you to wrap around your back. “But I’m here now,” he said firmly, his nose rubbing against yours.

“Yeah,” you whispered, tilting your head up until you could just barely feel your lips brush against his own. You closed your eyes. “You are.”

With that, you pressed your lips together, feeling the way he sank down heavily into your embrace. He smelled like smoke and caramelized apples, along with a touch of lavender that you knew came from your own shampoo. He always liked using the brand you had, even if he would vehemently deny it every time you brought it up. He tasted like chocolate and cinnamon, likely from the protein bars he had stashed in his bag. He felt like a warm fire, encompassing you in your entirety, filling you with warmth until you felt woozy from the heat.

One, two, three, four, both your mouths parted and rejoined together as you desperately, desperately held each other. It had been too long since you’d been in each other’s presence. Being this close to him, you could easily feel yourself letting go of all the emotions that’d built up over the past month. Seeping away into nothingness. Five, six, seven, you eventually lost count of how many times you both went back for more. More, more, more, you couldn’t get enough of his intoxicating aroma. His hands wandered along your body, pressing you closer to him as though he could meld the both of you together.

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled after he fully parted from you, bending down slightly as his hands grasped at your thighs. You had but a moment’s notice before he hoisted you up, your back firmly pressed against the wall as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Then he dove right back in, your hands coming up to hold his face as he bit at your bottom lip.

From this position, you had to bend your head down slightly to be able to meet his lips. Your hair fell in curtains around the sides of your face, occasionally brushing against Bakugou’s cheeks and neck. His grip increased on your legs as you nipped back at his lips, a deep sort of rumble escaping his chest that seemed to seep into your own.

“Fuck,” he repeated as he broke away from you to start leaving hot kisses along your neck again that seemed to tingle in just the right way. You hummed as you moved a hand to grip at his hair, tugging it slightly. “I missed you so fucking much.”

“I know,” you replied as you felt him bite down slightly at the junction where your neck met your shoulder. You sighed out. “I know.”

You gasped slightly as you felt him take a step away from the wall, arms suddenly moving to wrap around his neck as he walked backwards until his legs hit the side of your shared bed. He promptly fell down onto it, an ‘oof’ escaping your lips as you found yourself laying on top of his waist, torsos still pressed together.

He murmured something as he rolled over until you were trapped underneath him again. The softness of the mattress underneath you contrasted heavily with the hardness of his chest. You gazed up at him with flushed cheeks, your lips throbbing slightly with how much he’d kissed you. You barely had time to let out an eloquent ‘huh?’ before he was diving back down to kiss the sensitive part of your neck. You could feel him smirk against your skin, his teeth nipping it gently as his hands roamed along your waist.

“I said I would make it up to you later, didn’t I?”

masterlist

u didnt hear it from me but baku was workin extra hours to buy u a 💍

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

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