#i hate feeling left without a support network and

[13eyond13]

Hello I just excited saw your tags on an L post about what you think his enneagram type is !!! Can you go deeper into what u see his type as and why?? :)

Hi hi! I got into the Enneagram a couple years back for funsies, and I think L is probably a Type 5 with a 6 wing, which I guess is called either "The Troubleshooter" or "The Investigator" (lol, fitting).

The Type 5s tend to be quite logical and independent and intelligent, very focused on gathering information and sussing out meanings and analyzing and interpreting data. The Type 6 tends to be skeptical and private and cautious and focused, which I think would be his most likely secondary type (rather than the Type 4, which is a bit more of an artsy and emotional and sensitive type).

Here is what the write-up for the 5w6 says:

People with an enneagram type 5 wing 6 personality usually identify the most with the type 5, but also share traits with the 6 type. They tend to be practical, independent, and logical in their behavior. They are much more cooperative than other 5 types and have a passion for using their knowledge to solve real-world problems.

Basic Fear

Five wing sixes fear being useless or incapable. They seek to improve the world around them in order to feel worthy.

Basic Desire

Their basic desire is to be competent and useful. They usually show this by picking up new skills and pieces of knowledge that can be of benefit.

Troubleshooters may withdraw from others to cope with stressful situations, which can tend to make them feel lonely.

In summary, Enneagram 5w6 personalities tend to...

Be hard-working and analytical problem-solvers

Withdraw from others when stressed

Prefer to spend time thinking alone

Fear being incapable or incompetent

Make practical and logical decisions

Enneagram 5w6 Strengths

Being focused and well-organized

Passion for learning and growing

Solving difficult or complex problems

Remaining calm in times of crisis

Enneagram 5w6 Weaknesses

Struggling to relate to and understand others

Tendency to be private and defensive

Being perceived as cold or aloof

Difficulty taking action when uninspired

How Enneagram 5w6 personalities like to work

Communicating with an Enneagram 5w6

Avoid emotional expressions and allow five wing sixes space to think and process.

Meeting with an Enneagram 5w6

Keep meetings short and sweet; focus on clearly addressing the purpose.

Emailing an Enneagram 5w6

Be direct when emailing, allowing five wing sixes to share insightful and new ideas.

Giving feedback to an Enneagram 5w6

Offer constructive criticism and honest feedback; give specific areas for improvement.

Resolving conflict with an Enneagram 5w6

Focus on logically expressing your perspective; work toward a mutual understanding, allowing them time to think privately, if needed.

Enneagram 5w6 Motivations

Enneagram 5w6s tend to be motivated and energized by...

Solving or preventing problems

Spending time alone to gather their thoughts

Feeling like they’re contributing to society

Pursuing knowledge in the specific area that sparks their personal interest

Enneagram 5w6 Stress

Enneagram 5w6s tend to be stressed and drained by...

Spending too much time around others

Needing to be emotionally vulnerable

Feeling unwanted or rejected by others

Self-doubt and insecurity

--

I think it all sounds a lot like him. The introversion and fierce independence, the problem-solving skills and preoccupation with privacy when socializing, withdrawn when moody and listless when uninspired, etc. The list of strengths and motivations reminds me a lot of him when he is successfully honing in on Kira during the beginning of the story, and the stresses and weaknesses remind me a lot of L when he is struggling more during the Yotsuba Arc.

[autogyne-redacted]

Let's Talk About Security Culture: Why Keeping Secrets is Cool and Sexy

It's a natural impulse -- if you love crime -- to want to talk about how great it is. And if you hate America, it's only natural to want to share your dreams for its future with the rest of tumblr dot com. It can feel brave and transgressive. And there is a drive to share your soul with the world at the heart of social media. Surely I should be posting the most concrete implications of my politics, right? This is the poster's curse.

Security Culture refers to a set of "best practices" developed over the past several decades, largely (in a US context) coming out of radical environmental groups as they faced intense state repression, infiltration and entrapment. If you're not familiar, there's some fascinating crimethinc write ups to give you a window into that world:

Much of it boils down to: don't talk about crimes, past or forthcoming with people who don't need to know about them, and be mindful of the possibility of surveillance and infiltration. And, we can support each other as a community in minimizing risks, with an eye towards enabling bold action rather than getting bogged down in fears and anxieties. The guidelines that make sense for AG-based trouble-makers are different from the guidelines that make sense for posters, but plenty of common principles apply. To speak briefly to our position here as posters:

First, it bears saying that long term anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Unless you've never accessed Tumblr without a vpn, and avoided connections with other ppl who can be associated with you/your location, and never shared pictures without scrubbing metadata, and a bunch of other 100% consistent steps, it's trivial for the state to know who you are.

Second, just because something isn't actively being prosecuted now doesn't mean it can't be prosecuted later. The priorities of the state change and a shift in power towards the right or a growth in radical action from the left can suddenly make it a priority to destroy anarchist networks or just find a few ppl to prosecute as examples (who probably weren't that plugged into larger networks before getting arrested). Advocating for specific anti-government crimes or declarations of intent to commit such crimes are likely prosecutable, and even if charges don't stick, they're an easy vector for legal harassment.

Third, it's worth thinking about heat as separate from prosecutability. There are modes of engagement that may not be directly criminalized but signal that you are someone worth watching. Some people choose to be public in ways that make heat unavoidable. But it's worth noting that heat isn't strictly individualized, that it persists over time but also is going to shrink over time.

It's easy on here, ime, to see yourself as a proud member of the crime fandom but not much of a content creator. And it's easy to feel like you've generated an amount of heat where you're locked into that role. But heat you generated 10 years ago is probably pretty well gone. Heat you generated 5 years ago has faded substantially. It's worth thinking about how the world might shift in the coming years and what doors you want to keep open.

The non-individualized nature of heat also means that leaning into the spiciest of anti-state positions will make it a bad idea for people who are acting out those positions end up tied to you. Loudly talking about how "more people should be doing [X/Y/Z]" unfortunately sets you up to remain distant from people who might be doing or thinking about doing such things.

Which brings me back to: keeping secrets is sexy. Not spelling everything out builds intrigue. You can lay out a theoretical position and leave working out the practical implications of that as an exercise for the reader. There's value in opacity. The poster's curse and the drive to confess are extremely convenient for the state, but we can resist them. We can hold dreams in our hearts that we refuse to offer up to the posting spectacle.

[drunkkenobi]

Hi bb, ty for the prompt to write my thoughts!

So I can't get on tumblr at work anymore unless I go outside to get good signal on my phone so I have only been privy to what's going on here today from friends on discord. So maybe I'm missing some nuance or the what my mutuals think and I apologize in advance for that but I'm going to speak plainly.

This is the only way Watcher is going to survive.

The view counts have been steady through Mystery Files season 2 but they aren't, like, astronomical. A video with a million views nets a channel between $10,000 - $30,000. Guys. That's nothing for Watcher. They have to pay each of their 25+ employees a salary with insurance and benefits and for everything else their channel requires. Steven said in the video today that a season of Ghost Files costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't think everyone is hearing that part and understanding how much money that is, especially compared to many other YouTubers they watch. I'm not an expert on other YouTubers but I look at the Sims people I watch. They are successful with views in the hundred k range because they are a company of one. Themselves and maybe paying a freelancer to help edit their videos. For one person, the stakes are lower and the potential for profit is higher! Especially for gamers that are filming in their homes. YouTubers like this, making niche content on the cheap, are who is going to make it in YouTube now.

Watcher is none of those things. They have, from day one, wanted to make high quality unscripted content. All of their shows are shows. They aren't just "Ryan and Shane do [thing]" or "Steven eats [whatever]". They are shows, like ones you see on cable TV or any streamer. And shows are not cheap. Unscripted is cheaper, sure, than scripted. But that doesn't mean cheap. Especially not with the sheer production value we've seen on all their shows, in particular Ghost Files (hundreds of thousands of dollars). That is how much something like Ghost Adventures costs, which is on Travel Channel, an actual TV network that puts up all those costs.

So. That's why Watcher has to pivot to survive.

I think it's a great idea, personally. And yes, I am in a position where I can financially afford it no problem, which I know is a privilege! I am very lucky in that regard. And I understand that many people are upset they won't see the boys as easily on YouTube anymore. That is valid! But they have openly said they are totally fine with password sharing and I think that's a great way to cut down on costs for some folks. Also right now there's a great deal on the yearly sub for early subscribers. $40 for a year is cheaper than any streaming service and it doesn't go to anyone other than Watcher.

I understand that people feel hurt and blindsided, but I think Watcher is also feeling this too. They have been so excited about this and being able to make whatever they want without having to worry about sponsors and now they're mostly seeing anger directed their way. Especially at Steven. Steven is not rich. You know who's rich? David Zaslav, a man who is single-handedly ruining Warner Brothers and making himself a billionaire while he's at it. THAT is the kind of person we should be directing our anger at streaming prices and quality of the media landscape at. Not one small business that is just trying to survive so they can continue paying their employees.

And one more thing. I've seen folks saying they'd rather watch more ads than pay and while I get that, that's not going to help Watcher make what they want. YouTube famously demonetizes videos with swears which is why I can't watch a video with DRAG QUEENS without every other line being bleeped and Watcher has been so good about not bleeping their content because they know we would hate it. And YouTube does this because of advertisers. Advertisers only want to appeal to the most broad of audiences so that means not supporting anything slightly left of center. Having to deal with ads sucks from the creator perspective and does not help them in the long run.

Anyway, this is all a bit rambling, but these are my thoughts on WatcherTV. I'm extremely excited to subscribe and make them make more Weird Wonderful World. I hope to see you all there.

[avelera]

hi, I hope you don't mind me coming to kind of vent in your inbox (please toss this out if you do) but I was reading your post on the contrasting way Viktor and Jayce view their first meeting and it got me thinking about how some people just sorta brush aside Jayce's suicide attempt here as being somehow pathetic or an overreaction to what they consider a slap on the wrist and I kinda get really mad about that perspective because I don't think people really follow through on what the trial actually meant for Jayce and what the consequences reasonably could have been. people seem to think he was just embarrassed by the trial without understanding that that kind of reputational hit can be, and clearly was, ruinous.

setting aside entirely the emotional/psychological repercussions of having the thing he'd dedicated roughly 2/3's of his life to taken away, his very public trial ended with his own mother making an insanity plea on his behalf and his extremely wealthy and influential sponsor dropping him like he was radioactive and the actual ruling body of the city declaring him dangerously incompetent. do any of those people who deride him for the suicide attempt actually take the time to think about what that outcome means for him in a social and professional context? he jokes to Caitlyn about working in his family factory but honestly, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that the fallout of the trial has made him a social and professional pariah and his reputation is in such dire straits that he may be entirely unemployable within Piltover, perhaps even to the point of being toxic to his own family business if they take the reputation hit by association with him.

it's not actually hyperbole or an overreaction for him to stand in the wreckage of his life and think his life is over, to be at a complete loss as to how to move forward or come to the belief that moving forward is impossible and despair, especially if he doesn't have a support network which he pretty clearly doesn't. his only connections appear to be his mother and Caitlyn and, for obvious reasons, they're not viable at this time.

he was drowning and Viktor threw him a lifeline and he spends the literal rest of the story trying to return the favor.

Sorry for the delay in responding, there's a lot here I want to address.

First of all, I absolutely agree. I think people underestimate just how much that trial left his life in wreckage. That said, there's a few points I'd like to add some nuance to from my perspective, along the lines of YEAH THIS WAS REALLY BAD and people underestimate how much Viktor did for Jayce with his vote of confidence.

(This is gonna be a long post y'all but I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about Jayce here so buckle up if you do proceed.)

1 ) The Kirammans dropping him as his patrons is absolutely devastating. It's actually the moment I think I hated Cassandra Kiramman for the most, which was turning Jayce away from her door at his lowest point, and cutting him off from Caitlyn, who seems to be his only friend before Viktor. I think it also demonstrates just how severe the crime was that she did so, by the way, I don't think she was just being cruel for the sake of it. But the fact that in 1.04 she's then showing off Jayce as an accomplishment of her house is particularly infuriating as a result. It's also no exaggeration to say that the Kiramman rejection was the final straw for him. After that, he decided to take his own life, so Cassandra would have been, in my opinion, directly responsible for his death (ironically saving her own life down the line, but then Arcane S1 is a series of hinging butterfly effect moments) if not for Viktor.

2 ) One layer of nuance I wanted to add to the Kiramman rejection in particular that you mentioned is the idea of him working at the Talis hammer factory because I think about this a LOT.

I do want to push back a little on the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a living for himself at the Talis hammer factory. To me (as someone whose family has a family business, though I don't work for it), it was never in doubt Jayce would have been able to work there the rest of his life. It might have been the only place he could get a job in Piltover, in fact, at least one with any sort of prestige or intellectual pursuit attached (basically, with anyone attached or graduated from the Academy).

However, I think Jayce would have had to work in a non-scientific part of the factory, either out on the floor or in the back office. And this is what I've been wanting to address in meta for a while now.

Caitlyn asks him what he's going to do next and Jayce says, "Work for the Talis hammer factory, I guess?" and she exclaims, "You can't do that!"

I think the nuance missing from your point that I'd like to add my view of that scene to is that Caitlyn is essentially saying, "That would kill you."

I get the very strong impression that Caitlyn and Jayce bonded over being members of their family who wanted bigger things than what their parents wanted for them. It's basically there on the page in this exchange.

We explore directly that Caitlyn wants to be a detective instead of working in politics like her mother, and pursues her dream despite adversity and her mother's disapproval.

But I think from this exchange and the one Jayce also has with his mother Ximena, we can glean that the Talis's also wanted Jayce to work for the factory, the family business, instead of going to the Academy to pursue his dream of magic.

(Also as a person whose family has a family business, that I don't work for, that has their own career and faced a lot of consternation from my family in my desire to be a writer, I feel this one very keenly.)

Jayce to me reads as someone who had to fight his family all his life to avoid going into the family business, in his pursuit of something greater.

With the Hextech dream taken away, all that's left to him is his family business, the thing I'd argue we have evidence that he's been fighting to avoid his whole life. It doesn't inspire him. It's not what he wants.

Joining the Talis factory would kill him. And that's what Caitlyn points out, and that's when he realizes she's right and goes to finish the job by his own hand instead. Further evidence I would say that working for his family business would represent a death of the soul to him, such that a physical death is preferable. But since his family built the business, and his mother clearly has reservations about his pursuit of magic, I think we can safely say he's been feeling similar pressures to Caitlyn to conform and join the business instead.

3 ) Now to go back to Viktor, I think this is another reason that Viktor literally and spiritually saved Jayce's life. Jayce outright says to his mother that if his own family won't believe in him, he'll find someone who will. Whether you read Viktor/Jayce as platonic or romantic (spouses are family, after all, which is how I read it), Viktor is Jayce's family from that point forward.

But Viktor doesn't bring Jayce back from the brink just by believing in him at his lowest moment (which is so powerful it can't be underestimated, btw) he also gives Jayce a bit of tough love too just when Jayce needs it.

Like many children of privilege (I'd firmly put Mel in this category, since she too is "trapped in the family business" I'd argue), Jayce saw himself at rock bottom after he lost his patron, the benefits of his House name, his family's support, his research, his equipment, access to his one friend, his access to the Academy, and his reputation.

Viktor points out that he never had any of those things growing up.

I think this is a welcome slap in the face for Jayce. Viktor rose to be the Dean's assistant on ability alone, without any of the scaffolding of privilege, and it humbles Jayce just when he needs it. Viktor is telling him that Jayce already has everything he needs to succeed and that others like Viktor have gotten further with less.

So not only does Viktor give his vote of confidence, he materially shows Jayce there is a way to achieving his dreams without all of the things he just lost.

Not only that, he's won the respect and assistance of someone who has done it before, someone who admires him for what he's done, someone who will help him make this dream a reality when no one else would.

Of course Jayce dedicated his life to Viktor after that. Of course he saw Hextech as their shared dream after that. I'd argue that of course he saw his life as belonging to Viktor after that point, because Viktor saved it.

[ratking-mo]

A Night To Remember (Part 1)

Synopsis: Viktor was dragged to one of the many events held in Piltover by Jayce, wanting to bring him out for "support." He agreed to know, sense it was Jayce that was asking him, but he generally began to feel bored and irritated (as presumed.) But then, Mel came to him, giving him advice he simply had to take.

Word Count: 1.8k

Author's note: I've been having these three on my mind for the past week, and I NEEDED to write something about them. I decided to break it off into two parts because it was getting kinda long, so the smut will be held in the next part. SO, keep an eye out for the next part!

[Next Part]

------------------------------------------------------

As classical music filled the air, and the well-off and high-statused mingled amongst themselves, the gala went off without a hitch. This party was just like any other event held in Piltover, viewed and used as a chance to network and schmooze amongst each other.  Faux laughter filled the air from some groups, while a few pairs danced along with the music, most likely in hopes of spending the night alone. It was like any other night.

But there was one new thing. One thing that was out of place.

And that was Viktor.

Viktor was sat off to the side in one of the few chairs in the venue, slumping against this cane. His eyebrows were furrowed as he distantly people-watched, letting out a heavy exhale through his nose.

He hated these parties. He had been invited to a handful of them in the past, and he went to one or two of them, sure. But he always came out of them feeling socially and mentally exhausted., at that point he just viewed them as being a waste of energy. 

Viktor closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that if he nodded off, time would pass by quicker (and no one would bother him.) That is, until he heard a familiar set of heels clicking, coming near his quiet area. 

“I didn’t expect you to join us tonight..” Mel remarked, his voice carrying a calm air of surprise. In her hands she held two long glasses of champagne, holding the left one out to Viktor. “You usually use your illness as an excuse to not go.”

“Ms. Medara.” Viktor greeted as he opened his eyes, lifting his gaze to meet her. His eyes shifted to the glass for a moment before letting out a soft chuckle. “Believe me, I was going to..” He commented as he reached out, gently grabbing the drink from her hand.”...but I was given some rather convincing persuasion.” He told her, nodding his head to the left.

Mel lifted her eyebrow curiously before glancing over her left shoulder. She then gave a faint smirk. “Oh, I see..” She hummed. 

There near the center of the room stood the golden boy himself, Jayce. Through his time in the spotlight, he had learned to wear a mask of comfortability and insincerity like many others. It was like a learned formality at this for him. If it weren’t for Mel’s presence and support, he probably wouldn’t go at all.

Though, as the events grew larger and more confidential, and Mel was typically busy with others, he found himself needing the support of someone else close to him. Plus, he viewed it as a win-win.  Viktor, in his introverted nature, rarely went to these parties, meaning he didn’t have anyone outside of Jayce. 

He saw this as an opportunity to help Viktor get out more and offer his support.

“He asked me to come about five times within the past two weeks,” Viktor told her as he swirled around his drink, lifting his eyebrows as he gazed at the liquid. “He was very insistent.”

Mel let out a soft laugh in response, turning her head to look at Viktor once more. “He’s stubborn in that way.” She commented. “Tell me, did he do that thing where he..” 

She waved her hand for a moment before pointing her to her face. Her eyes widened slightly as her eyebrows knitted together, giving a hesitant smile. It was the face of a begging puppy, one seeking out sympathy.

Viktor snorted at the sight, shaking his head for a second. “That was the final blow into getting me to come, actually.” He chuckled. “You can’t say no to face like that.”

“No, you really can’t,” Mel responded as her face fell back to normal watching the man sitting in front of her. She then glanced upward when the musicians finally switched to a new song. Her gaze remained up, listening for a few seconds before lowering it to look at Viktor. She then gave a faint smirk, though it wasn’t conniving. Not at all. It was one of…

Interest.

“May I ask for a dance?”

She inquired, putting her free hand out towards Viktor for him to take. 

Viktor paused for a moment, blinking a few times as his gaze flickered between her and her hand. “Ms. Medara…” He started. He then looked to the side, thinking about it… a dance with councilmen Mel Medara herself is something to be envied. He should feel lucky. He then gave a half smile after a second, chuckling out. He moved to lightly grab hold of her hand. “I may have to lean on you, you know.” He informed her as he slowly got up, placing his drink on the nearby table, and getting a better hold on his cane.

“Understood,” Mel responded with a soft nod, placing her drink on the table as well before leading him out to the full ballroom.

As the music kept its slow rhythm, the two danced against one another in a light, warm embrace. Viktor leaned against Mel with slight restraint to not cause her to fall over, his free hand keeping a light grip on her waist. In turn, Mel rested both her hands on Viktor’s shoulders, swaying along as she let the music fill the room. 

The dance was slow, nearly hypnotic. It was as though Viktor had forgotten he was in a room filled with dishonesty and was in a place that was… foreign, to him.

He was always up and working, busy with projects and bettering hextech. Despite the wishes of others, He never had the time to slow down. He never wanted, to slow down. Though, tonight?

He was beginning to finally tolerate it.

Viktor was soon pulled out of his introspective thoughts as he felt an added weight on his shoulder, glancing over. His eyes widened slightly when he spotted Mel’s head, her head chin resting against his shoulder and her warm cheek close to his cold one. Her breath tickled against his ear as she began to speak. 

“Are you upset with him?” She asked, referring to Jayce. “For dragging you away from work.”

“...” Viktor glanced towards Jayce for a moment with half-lidded, pondering eyes. Only to be met with Jayce looking right back at them. The second the two made eye contact, Jayce seemingly flinched, a faint redness rushing to his cheeks as he turned away to get back to his conversation. What a silly man.

“...No, no.” Viktor dismissed with a headshake, a faint smile curling on his lips. “I can’t stay mad at him, even if I try.” He stated.

Mel hummed in response, closing her eyes for a moment as she began to choose her next words carefully. After a moment, she opened them, glancing over at Viktor. “Do you want to go home?” she asked.

“Yes.” Viktor’s answer was nearly instantaneous. He then blinked a bit, letting out a slightly rushed follow-up. “N-not that I’m not enjoying my time with you, Ms. Medara, I just-”

Mel let out a soft laugh, closing her eyes for a moment. She found him cute, in an odd way. “Calm down, calm down, I understand.” She dismissed. She glanced to the side for a moment, making sure there were no prying eyes before lowering her voice to a whisper. “If you really want to go home, Viktor… You’re going to have to give Jayce a reason to bring you home.”

Viktor paused for a moment, the words leaving his throat at the advice. That could be taken in so many ways… 

“May I ask you to elaborate?” He requested.

Mel’s hands began to slowly move from Viktor’s shoulder, gliding down his arms in a firm, but careful hold that sent goosebumps down his spine. 

“Sometimes even I want to leave these things earlier than intended,” she started, a soft sigh punctuating the start of her next statement. “But you know how interested everyone is in getting into the mind of the Jayce Talis.” She motioned towards him for a moment. “He doesn’t pick up on many queues. But…” 

Mel’s fingertips slowly danced across Viktor’s chest. “As you probably know, he’s like a dog.” 

Her fingers tangled around his tie, playing with it before grabbing it in a firm hold. 

“If you give him a treat, he’ll do anything you ask him to.” 

Viktor visibly stiffened, swallowing a lump in his throat. He could feel the heat steadily rising to his face as he began to process everything. Was it from her suggestion? Was it her? Was it the prospect of being with Jayce in that way?

He could hardly tell. 

“A-” Viktor quickly cleared his throat in an attempt to calm himself. He needed to act as though everything was normal, as to not draw attention…

“Are you suggesting that I seduce your partner?” He asked her, lifting an eyebrow as he attempted to understand the idea. 

“I'm not suggesting anything,” Mel replied with a soft laugh, letting go of the tall man’s tie. “I’m just… merely offering you the best option for getting out of here.” 

Viktor gazed down at her for a quiet moment, biting his lower lip as he attempted to think straight. This might be the best option for him for… many reasons, none in particular. 

“...what do you gain from this?”  He asked. 

“...” Mel looked to the side for a moment, lifting her eyebrows quietly. She then moved, slipping her free hand into a hidden pocket on her dress, and pulling something out. “All I ask,” She gently pressed something against his chest… it felt like… a key? “Is that you try to hold him off until I arrive? Hm?” she suggested.

Viktor went quiet, his face blooming into a bright reddish color and causing a stark contrast against his usual sickly demeanor. That was the key to her home, he realized… 

“...I..”

He slowly lifted his hand, gently putting his hand over hers.

“I’ll see what I can manage, Ms. Medara.”

Mel smiled lightly at that. “Good.” She responded. “And… don’t think of him as being solely my partner.” She phrased, slowly slipping her hand out from under his. 

“He’s practically yours too. And I don’t mean in the way you’re thinking,” she informed. 

Viktor stiffened, feeling as though it was getting hard to breathe. He tried to respond, only stammering croaking out from his throat and causing him to flusteredly turn away. 

Mel let out a soft giggle, covering up her mouth slightly. “So this is why he finds you so cute..” she smiled. 

Her head turned slightly as she heard footsteps nearing,  watching as Jayce hurriedly began to walk over with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“He’s coming,” Mel remarked. “And he looks ready for a treat.”

“...”

Viktor took a deep breath in, and out, pulling away from the loose embrace to stand up straight. 

This will be a long night…

[pawberri]

Uh, someone who’s most likely in the situation you described. Who’s starting to break past their skepticism and trying to start working on myself. Any tips?

My biggest thing is that when you decide to come out you should give those you trusted to come out to permission to gender you correctly and like "come out for you" to people because it's so nice when your support system fills up without you having to burden yourself with coming out to each and every person and debate them on ur right to exist... and even when people don't support you they have to go thru the buffer of other people... i did it en masse through social media and through my family gossip network and it was so much less exhausting than the other side of my family that doesn't whisper network the info to each other... you will feel like it's a burden and a big risk but it's good for allies and people who aren't hurt directly to help you and split the labor of it... and even when people are cruel and homophobic to you life gets better when they're gone and you're not teetering on the edge of being hated or not hated. also I wrote a note to my parents and left it in the house so I didn't have to say it to their faces lol

All of this hinges on safety of course but if you're safe... do it...

Also stop honoring the opinion of anyone who treats you poorly as valid. Before you're out it will feel like it takes an absurd amount of generosity to be kind, but once you see just how little it costs someone to respect you and how many people WILL respect you... you'll see how cruel and pointless bigotry is. If you keep considering it a valid position to treat you like shit you'll be burdened thinking about whether or not you deserve to be a person and You Do Deserve To Be A Person. The position that being transgender is bad or scary is a wrong and unjustifiable one and is a flaw of the person holding it and not you

Also don't wait to come out to start hormones or making steps towards presenting how you want

[moniairis]

I love the team ADeuce + Grim and Prefect. They rent free in my head. I mean, I love the 1st year gang in general, but these four have a special space in my heart.

They are such a wholesome team of friends. I've always loved Deuce since day 1, Ace came a little after. But they gained my eternal love and respect after they travelled by public transport to Sage island because they had a "help we're stuck" text. Two 16 years old straight up left their families and home during the FREAKING holiday (the only few weeks they can see family during the school year-) so they could help their two friends by traveling for 2 or more days in public transport. They deserves the world for it (even if calling the police would have been quicker- The feeling are there and well received-)

And don't get me started on Grim because, like I would do to my cat, I would forgive him anything. Like. He doesn't want the tuna because it's not his usual brand ? Yeah you little picky one. You annoy me. You will eat this....okay don't look at me like this, I will get you your usual one tomorrow. Can I pet you ?

For Ace and Grim it's more a kind of love-hate, like you love your annoying sibling. "You are a jerk. But you will fight for me and I will fight for you. And your funny. And sometime cute. Don't smile at me like this-". And Deuce is a sweetheart. I can say a lot but between the chick incident and "I want to make my mom proud of me now-". Boy had his redemption arc before the start of the game, let me be there and support you 🥺

So, all of this to say I love them. They are a wholesome team of friends. And they feel like home. The kind of feeling you only have with close friends. People who will see you at your best and your worst and wants you whatever you are at your best or worst. People who will love your qualities and your flaws, see in you and love things in you you thought everyone would hate. The kind of people you go see to "do homework/help for something. But not long, we have things to do" and screw up things. You ended up talking about all and nothing until night falls and after.

Someone once told me they are friends you make that become your family, a second family you made for yourself and have chosen. I really think that the kind of friendship these four have/will have. They care for each other. Will go save the others/worried to death even if -honestly- the others kinda deseved it (we remember all the Anemom incident, the text of Scarabia without respond without thinking ADeuce would freak out or the "leaving school to save Grim without telling anyone". I mean- They are a chaotic group- They take turn in facepalming and competiting for the 1st place at the most problematic member of the team-). They are like a bunch of siblings facepalming/laughing at the mess another made but who will always be there for each other.

EVERYTHING, just to say I started to write a Shroud family fluff and had the need to write a whole page about a "broom trip" - a road trip with broom of these four during the summer break between their 3th/4th year. Like "come on buddies. We're are freshly adults. And we're going to go on a trip before we're going to be busy with internship/graduation/future." Obviously they ended losing themsleves in unknow woods. Obviously no network. Yes. They did fight a Phantom again. Yes. I have now a new thing to write about the whole trip because it has nothing to do in the Shroud family fluff but it's super fun-

I need to learn how to summarize things and go to the point.

[dotthings]

The few Dean fans left in the Destiel lane have big soft spots for Cas and I feel that gets taken advantage of. Cas is important to me, I connect with Cas similarly to how I do on Dean, so it’s feelings in stereo all the time shipping this ship, I use neither just for a ship, I ship because of my feelings for both. But majority of the Destiel lane is dominated by Cas stans, who are the loudest and most numerous and get most of the engagement, and it’s not a very Dean supportive environment. Don’t confuse Dean fans who love Cas, and Destiel being a ship we love, because we love and respect both characters, with a willingness to tolerate the rancid Dean hating takes from Cas stans or willingness or obligation to be NICE to Cas stans who hate on Dean.

My love for Cas doesn’t mean I’m going to be NICE when Cas stans start in on Dean. (I had to ditch a lot of the Dean stanning lane due to how they treat Cas, and I’ve done the same due to how Cas stans treat Dean).

And if I had a dime for every time a Cas stan complained about me and said I only use Cas for my ship…while they don’t care how Cas stans treat Dean or how they use Dean for a ship. Not to mention—relevant context, I’m one of the og Cas fans. I was fascinated with him from his first appearance. I was there for S7 and the Save Castiel campaign. I sent a blue tie to the network. Once I loved Cas, I could not imagine spn without Cas. When Cas gets lost, I mourn with Dean.

The potency Destiel has for me has been amplified by how complex Dean and Cas are and that I love and relate to both of them. Dean and Cas brainrot forever, not just “shipping Destiel.”

[whathorselegs]

An unnecessarily long ramble about Shirase's role in Storm Bringer - Part 1

Storm Bringer's Themes and Shirase

At it's core, Storm Bringer is about the many ways someone can be dehumanized and also the many ways a person can exhibit humanity without necessarily being 'human'. Nearly every major character within this book showcases these themes from Chuuya to Adam, to Verlaine, to Dazai.

And yes, even Shirase, however I think the way these themes affect Shirase's character is overlooked a bit, because compared to everyone else, he's ordinary and often times being annoying. The dehumanization he experiences isn't some Big Bad, but that doesn't mean it's not there. The way he regains his humanity is with an internal struggle. It's not as exciting as everything else, so it's no wonder it doesn't get talked about as much.

However, I'm obsessed with it, so I'm going to talk about.

The Dehumanization of Shirase

'The young man would then rivet, wipe, and remove its burrs. Then another part would come his way. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. He would do that as many times as it took until he eventually thought, I've had enough of this. After finishing the next metal part, he was going to quit and go home. He had that same thought every single time he worked until the bell eventually rang, letting all the workers know that their shift was going to end in five minutes. Only during those five minutes did the young man feel some what human.'

This is how we are introduced to Shirase and for me it's one of the grimmest passages in the book. There are certainly events that are more horrifying, but this is grim in such a mundane way, and its because this is how a lot of people spend their lives. This is the type of dehumanization real people can easily relate to.

Working day after day, hour after hour as a cog in a machine, loosing everything you are to your job that you hate until the end of the day where you can regain your sense of self.

Asagiri will often not use a character's name at the start of chapter to create some mystery as to who they are, specifically he does this a lot for Dazai. However it's still interesting me that in this whole passage, it's not until the last paragraph that Shirase is named. By Chuuya. Until then, he's nobody, just a faceless worker, only becoming a person once he's relevant to the plot.

In this passage it's also noted that some of the other workers try to invite Shirase to eat together, but Shirase declines. They are all older than him, it doesn't mention any names and there's no indication that Shirase considers them his friends. Why would he? This is a place were he doesn't even feel like himself, how could he possibly form friendships?

The most interesting way, to me, that Shirase is dehumanized throughout Storm Bringer is the way several characters treat Shirase as insignificant or as someone to be used/disposed of, despite those characters being ones who we root for.

The Port Mafia treats him as a hostage, all his friends had been shipped away to different parts of Japan. He has no support network anymore, he's alone. He lives with the knowledge at any moment the Port Mafia could decide to kill him.

Murase, despite caring for Chuuya and 'wanting to show him the light' does not extend that same kindness to Shirase. He uses Shirase as a means to get Chuuya to come to the police station. Murase even bullies Shirase whilst arresting him.

'Nobody cares about small fries like you, so you've got nothing to worry about.'

It's an off-handed comment and probably to be funny and out of the context of the dehumanization theme it is. But everyone in this story is telling Shirase the exact same thing. He's worthless. Shirase isn't worth Murase's time, he isn't worth saving. Whilst Murase talks to Chuuya about living in the light, he has Shirase locked away in a dark cell left to rot. Because Shirase isn't important.

Murase sets it up so Shirase's freedom is dependant on Chuuya's choice. If Chuuya agrees to be an informant, Shirase will be let go. He doesn't give Shirase the chance to fight for his own freedom because he has nothing Murase wants.

It might be annoying the amount of times Shirase claims he's 'the king' but when everyone else treats him like nothing, it's not surprising to me that he's so desperate to be recognized.

Adam, is perhaps the worst offender of this. He does not like Shirase and whilst I'm not saying he has to, he is also our main narrator through out the book. He interacts with Shirase the most. He also thinks Shirase lacks intelligence and is an annoyance. Despite being programmed to save humans, he treats protecting Shirase as a chore, even though, Shirase is the exact type of person he was meant to protect. An ordinary one.

When Verlaine attacks Shirase in the cells, Adam gives up and accepts Shirase's fate despite saying several times how terrified he is.

'Shirase's voice trembled with fear.' 'Shirase's voice quavered like never before. It took everything he had to simply stand on his own two feet.' 'He was too astonished and afraid to even to even yell out.' 'The worst thing that could happen right now would be losing Master Chuuya or me and being unable to follow with our plan to ambush Verlaine. He had two more targets remaining. There was still hope.'

He's as good as sentencing Shirase to death here because his life isn't as important as Chuuya's or his own. Shirase is disposable. Adam says as much when trying to convince Shirase to come with them. It's made all the more heartbreaking when Shirase is looking to Adam for help but Adam has ready decided he can't do anything.

He says that there was no chance of success at saving Shirase but as soon as Chuuya is in danger, Adam is able to break free from the wall he's trapped in. The possible outcomes don't matter anymore, Chuuya is in danger and he has to try and save him. Something he wasn't willing to do for Shirase.

After Shirase falls unconscious from being poisoned Adam leaves him locked in a storeroom and says he should be safe there. Despite the alarm system broadcasting that everything within the building is going to burned and everyone needs to evacuate. Implying anyone left behind will also burn. When Shirase wakes up alone, thinking he's been abandoned, he easily gets out of the storeroom, meaning anyone could have just as easily got in and killed him.

'The poison was probably meant for Master Chuuya while Shirase was merely collateral damage.'

This what Adam says about Shirase being poisoned and I can't tell if it's supposed to Adam saying how the military sees Shirase or how Adam feels about him. Because it's exactly how he treats him.

The dehumanizing way Adam treats Shirase affects how the reader views him too. Readers are already inclined to dislike Shirase after the events in Fifteen, now in Storm Bringer we spend most of our time with a narrator that also doesn't like Shirase. So when Adam exhibits a lack of care towards Shirase, calls him dumb, annoying and dismisses him, the reader is easily led into doing the same.

And it's sad because Shirase is genuinely scared and struggling throughout the story. But we almost only ever see this during the few parts that are narrated from Shirase's perspective.

Which I will talk more about in Part 2 when I discuss Shirase's overall arc and the ways in which he regains his 'humanity'.

If you read all of this, then thank you :D I hope you enjoyed

Disclaimer: This is not hate on Adam's character, I love him, however this post is about Shirase not him.

[whineandcheese24]

personally, I'm not at all disappointed that they gave Buck a queer arc before Eddie, or that they switched love interests, and I actually feel better about this interview for a few reasons

Point 1 - Buck is bi, Eddie is not: This is my personal hc so no hate if you disagree, but I always viewed Buck as bi, and Eddie as demi. We know he had issues with Ana and is now having issues with Marisol, but he really did seem happy and comfortable in those moments with Shannon, which is why I never quite got on the "Eddie is gay" train. I know the chances of a major network tv show (or even any tv show) actually using the word demi out loud is slim, but it's still what I want and think fits best (and I wouldn't be surprised if they left Eddie unlabeled, seeing as they haven't even officially given Buck a label), and having Eddie get into a relationship with Tommy would feel as shallow and not-right as his previous relationships. This story of meeting a guy and having a crush and being kissed and asked out by a guy when you've never even conciously considered guys before just fits better on Buck than it would on Eddie.

Point 2 - Buck needs to go first: Jumping off the last point, if we're going with the opinion that Buck is into men, while Eddie is into Buck (which I've seen a lot of support for within the text and the fandom) then Buck needs to have his arc first. I can't see Eddie even considering that his feelings for Buck are more than platonic without Buck coming out. By having Buck come out first, Eddie has the chance to look at him and go "huh? didn't realize that was an option" (kind of like how he did in the coming out scene with realizing Tommy, a character established to be very similar to Eddie, is gay). Buck's character arcs tend to be loud and blunt with him getting hit on the head by the point, he learns by doing. but Eddie's arcs tend to be calmer and quieter and more introspective, with little things building up until they blow over, he learns by thinking. By having Buck come out first and date, not just a guy, but a guy Eddie's friends with who is very similar to him, it becomes another little thing that can help Eddie on his journey

Point 3 - Eddie can still be queer: One of the worries about this interview might be that they decided a queer Eddie arc didn't work, but the way I see it, they were considering queer Eddie. Not just in a jokingly-sending-my-costar-fanfiction way, but in an actual writers-and-directors-etc-are-seriously-considering-this-arc. That's huge. And we joke about Lou going to pr jail, but this is a serious thing, and the cast and crew know that. I seriously doubt if they weren't comfortable with the audience knowing they wouldn't have told Lou not to say anything, or that he didn't still ask if he could talk about it. The way I see it, the cast and crew and writers and network were seriously considering giving Eddie a queer arc, and are okay with the audience knowing it, maybe because they're considering giving him a slightly different queer arc in the future.

all this to say: This arc with Tommy works best with Buck having the physical experience of dating a man, and Eddie watching from the side and starting to consider it in his own mind. And just because they dropped Eddie's arc with Tommy, doesn't mean they can't give him his own different arc later down the line

[thegreathomestuckreread]

maybe if i get all of this out of my head i will be able to relax to sleep. this is probably gonna be a little disjointed.

i just feel like the second half of this year my entire life just fucking imploded. i got covid for a second time in july and it's completely fucked me in precisely the ways i spent years screaming at everyone about. it feels like i'm paying with my life for everyone else's negligence, i never stopped masking and being careful and now i'm the one with long covid. i know that's not how the world works but it's just not fucking fair

i barely finished my summer contract with significant accommodation, i haven't worked since then (end of august), and now the dream position i was waiting all year for has opened for applications and i can't fucking do it. i can't do it. i don't have the energy

one of my uncles died suddenly and unexpectedly in november, he went in to have one if his kidneys out and fucking bled out from medical complications, and now another uncle is dying from three different types of cancer with less than a year to live, and that's with doing chemo, it's only two months without

it feels like my own parents' deaths are creeping up on me and i haven't even established myself as an independent adult and now it feels like i never will because the economy was making it hard enough when i was able to work and take care of myself but now i can't even fucking do either of those things

i'm hearing from my dad about how my cousins are taking care of my uncle while he's doing chemo and it terrifies me that i don't think i can do that for my parents if they end up needing it, i don't think i can take care of them if/when they need that and simultaneously in that situation i'm going to lose their care for me because i'm still very dependent on them

idk it just feels like the height of my life is over and everything i have to look forward to now is just scary bad shit, all these fucking huge terrifying things are looming over me in the future and i hate it. i have no idea how i'll survive after my parents are gone

and it's like. i need to fucking chill because i'm not alone. but i also don't have a very wide network to rely on and i'm terrified of needing to rely on that so heavily

and the worst worst WORST part of all of this! is the fucking isolation that comes with trying not to get sick again because FUCKING NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT COVID ANY MORE. i'm so fucking lonely and touch-starved but i can't do anything about it without risking my fucking life because no one cares any more

and like. okay. i know that everything i'm freaking out about is further off than it feels, and that with time i will learn more about my body and how to handle it and things will get easier for me. my mother has already assured me that her and my dad already have their own plans if they need care in their old age. and plans and supports for me and for my own independence and all that will come into place over time. and my parents very likely both have, at bare minimum, ten more years left in 'em, which is a long time. and i'm not alone. i'm not fucking alone in this. i know this

it's just too much. it's too much at once. and i miss my fucking partner. and their dog and their mom. and staying overnight at their place all the time. we talk all the time of course and we do phone calls and video calls but i haven't been able to see them physically in months. i miss going shopping by myself. i've needed to go buy new winter boots for months but i never have the fucking energy. it feels pointless anyway because it's not like i'm ever leaving the house for anything besides being ferried to medical appointments and back. i miss my fucking job working in the arts, and all the wonderful coworkers i would be working with in that new position if i could apply to it. i miss feeling like i had some idea of what the future might look like for me. i don't know any more. i didn't even have a detailed plan just start working full-time and move out of my parents' place. ideally in some fuzzy further future get married and have kids. like, none of this is like a precise plan, just very loose goals, but all of it. it's all gone now

i know things will get better and easier it's just. it's just a lot. and i'm still mourning everything i lost. and fucking angry that i'm even going through this when i am one of the only people who never stopped giving a fuck about covid. and looking around me and seeing still everywhere no one cares any more

ugh idk if this helped anything lol i'm probably just gonna have the same meltdown again in a couple weeks because that's my life now i guess

[lovjiwoong]

twenty six — NOT. A. DATE.

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gender neutral reader

warnings: playful insults, cursing

genre: fluff, comedy, very tiny angst

word count: 0.4k

previous • masterlist • next

taglist: @honeyhuii @soobin-chois @fylithia @enhacolor @ja4hyvn @bambisgirl @hiqhkey @its-madi @bobariki @yizhoutv @userjuyo @end-hyphen @yeosangiehwa @kayleeshinee @joonsytip @justasoftstan @strawberri-uyu @sunflowerbebe07 @mingiholic @strawberry-shortest-cake @hanniehaeism @l33j3n8 @nar-nia @sollum @angeltetae @amethyistheart @starryyeonjun @minhui896 @joshuaahong @zuzu-the-simp @wanna-skinny @jeonginssa @lightprincess-world @woozarts @ahnneyong @canberrachloe

networks: @kflixnet

a/n: hiiii loves <3 i'm back (again), i know i take a lot of breaks but my mental health isn't too good this year and sometimes i struggle but you guys are amazing and so supportive and i adore you 💕

The day spent with Jeonghan was nice, he treated you to pizza and you both spent a considerable amount of time on the beach just watching the sun go down. It was like he knew exactly what calmed your nerves without you telling him. You always loved a sunset, the vibrant colours were euphoric, the oranges, the pinks and the gorgeous red sky as the sun was about to disappear was perfect.

"I think you're brave for what you did, like really brave, and I'm proud of you for not sitting quiet. He deserved it." Jeonghan's kind words left an impression on you. Hearing him say that meant a lot to you, you could tell those words were sincere and he meant them.

"Thanks, Jeonghan. I'll be honest, there was a part of me that wanted to just ignore it. To just block him again and pretend like it wasn't happening but I had to protect myself, my friends and anyone in the future he could have hurt." When you turn to face Jeonghan, he's already looking at you, you hate to admit it to yourself but he looks pretty when the orange from the sunset shines on his face, "You did the right thing, y/n. Because of you, you're safe. And you've saved others. But I can tell you right now, that had you not have said anything to anyone, we would have protected you. None of us would have allowed him to mess with you."

Unbeknownst to you, spending the day with you was something that Jeonghan never knew he needed until it happened. As the day was coming to a close, he didn't want it to end. He enjoyed spending time with you. He still felt guilty for how he had treated you and he wished you two could have been friends all this time. Every time you made eye contact with him, his heart raced a little. When you made your little sandcastle and took photos of it with such pride, seeing you smile after a terrifying experience with your ex made him smile. Watching you fall earlier in the day into a hole in the sand sent the both of you into fits of laughter, your contagious laughter had onlookers around you laughing too. It was a sound that Jeonghan was sure he would never be tired of hearing. And when the laughter died down, and he looked out onto the ocean, that's when it hit him: he had feelings for you and oh boy, were they strong.

[kajaono]

How 911 7x04 supports four different readings

A long term, a short term, a canon and a subtextual one and all of them are valid

Just as a short reminder. In 7x03 Buck meets Tommy for the first time and instantly smitten by the cool hot pilot. Turns out the hot pilot and his best friend are best buddies. Buck feels left behind. So 7x04 lets us believe he tries everything to get Eddies attention. Turns out, he actually wanted Tommys attention. So, thats the narrative we are working with

Canon and short term narrative

So on a canon level we have Buck meets a cute pilot, tries everything to get his attention, breaks his best friend foot, gets rewarded with a kiss, a boyfriend and a coming out. A clear BuckTommy narrative.

Long Term narrative

And now it gets compliacted. Is Bucktommy a long term option? Is this a) "we see you read Buck as queer AND you ship Eddie and Buck... but the network says "no" to canon Buddie, but "yes" to bi Buck, so we give you everything we can"? We saw similar things in The Witcher for example, where people read Jaskier as pan and in love with Geralt and season 3 made really clear: "Yes he is pan, but we will never make Geraskier canon. BUt here: Jaskier now has a boyfriend."

Which btw doesn't make the queer coming out arc and the queer relationship less important or valid. I think the storytelling couldn't be more clear how much it cares for BuckTommy.

Or is this b) slow burn? Introducing: Marcus Pike aka Pedro Pascal in season 6 of The Mentalist:

For those of you who have never watched The Mentalist (have you been living under a rock?!) . It is a typical (and extremly good) crime show, 22 episodes each season, and one episode: one case

The main couple, Lisbon x Jane (Jisbon):

These cuties here. Six seasons of slow burn and pining. And the moment they nearly got together this show did what every good show did back then. They introduced a new love interest, and one half of the main couple falls for him:

Even though everyone knew that Jisbon was endgame it added even more tension, made the pining and slow burn even longer.

So what of those two options is Tommy? Someone to make the pining even longer? Or a compromise because canon Buddie is not possible?

Only time will tell and I am super curious for your opinins, Because i Think this is also where the ship war comes from.

Because Tommy could be both and it is aboslutly not clear if Tommy is here to stay or only a plot device

This is also where the subtextual narrative kicks in

If you see it from a long term POV this whole "i try to get your attention" could have second level... which eventually could be about Buddie again. From a long term POV. As in: "I wanted Tommys attention because I really liked him and because he helped me realize my true feelings... and I realized I could never have your attention." something like that.

What I want to say is: 7:04 is written in a way that the canon narrative we have today can be changed easily later without destrorying the legacy it has: canon bi Buck. Or it will be forever a Bucktommy ep... which is also amazing! (I am here for both ships! Multishipping yay!)

It is so so hard to tell and I want all your opinions in my inbox. Is Tommy a plot device that leads to canon Buddie or here to stay? Keep in mind this show could go on for ten more seasons...

And leave me alone with ship wars. If i get too many hate messages I will write a meta why Buck x Eddie x Tommy will be endgame, I swear

[hottiemcdottie]

Hello. I hope you are doing well.

I'm a new fan of Monk, and I have a question about Tony/Monk and Bitty/Sharona.

I have started to read your fanfiction novel, Mr. Monk and The Port, and I like Monk's and Sharona's chemistry already. The only thing I dislike is the cursing, which is just a personal preference. I know you are a big shipper of the two, and so am I, but I just was wondering if you ship Tony and Bitty as well?

In some of your post, you mentioned both Tony's and Bitty's choice of action. I never put that much thought into it. I just thought the two are incredible actors, which they are.

I sense that you ship Tony/Monk and Bitty/Sharona behind the sences, and with their unmatchable chemistry and double act, do you think anything ever happened between them behind the scenes? I'm not counting on it because Tony is married, but I would like to hear your thoughts.

Another question, how do you think Tony, as well as the main cast, responded to Bitty Schram leaving? There's no comment on anyone's behalf, besides the network's statement. The cast's chemistry is really good. Everyone played their part well. It saddens me that Bitty left because of a contract disruption, or the reason she truly left, because she truly made the show. This is talked alot, but the way the writers have written Sharona's leaving was horrible.

Anyways, thank you for responding in advance. Take care!

Hello friend!

I see you have caught onto my not-so-subtle hints!

Unfortunately, as Bitty Schram is currently out in Idaho and appeared recently on a MAGA podcast (without video), I have had to give up my ship, as I can of course not support anyone who stands with MAGA. She was not asked to appear in the Monk movie, and that's justified in my opinion.

But yes, before this I did think Tony and Bitty had at least done a tiny bit of kissing off-screen. I don't think he would cheat on his wife in any substantial capacity, so that's just speculation. They had major chemistry though, and it was clear they adored each other and that never changed. It's the root of the double act they were able to create.

And I still think Adrian and Sharona would have been a good match when he'd done some recovering. I think Monk very obviously was in love with Sharona and she loved him back. I think Bitty was pretty clear on it because she said in an interview that Sharona (and she herself) "loves him no matter what" which is a nice statement. And of course Tony said he couldn't think of any other guest star in the 8th season that mattered to him, which was VERY sweet. The writers even said they wrote Sharona as the exasperated wife.

It was also so sweet to see how excited and happy he was to have her back for the 8th season. I hated the storyline but you could see the love and chemistry had gone nowhere. Their acting choices really did reflect their feelings for each other and I loved that.

I'm disappointed in Bitty Schram, of course, given that I would have expected much better from an East Coast, NYC-adjacent artist, but I have to shrug at it too. When MAGA loses in November, they'll go back to whatever they were doing before and maybe she'll come back to the East Coast. Who knows?

So the original reason for her firing was stupid and inept management, and she did deserve better than she got. And I do think she had massive chemistry with Tony Shalhoub and that for me translated into potential for romance once Monk did some recovering.

I like to think that now that he lives in New York with Molly, Sharona comes to the city to see him.

Also thanks so much for reading the fic! It's the ending I would have wanted for them before the movie came out.

[wyntereyez]

Here we go, Part One of my scream into the void. Here I'm going to talk about my mother

Some of you may remember my posts about how two birthdays went by without her saying anything, and how when she did finally bother to text a month after that second birthday, there was no acknowledgement of my birthday or her silence, and how I agonized over whether I should respond (and eventually chose not to.)

I don't regret this.

My mom left our family when I was thirteen. Before then, I was a 'mama's girl,' though damned if I know why. Probably because she was the parent I saw more, I guess.

I want to say those first thirteen years weren't awful. But there are things I remember that stick with me that weren't good.

She wasn't much of a cook. So I grew up on frozen, processed food, and shockingly, my health reflected that. And, oh, did she make me feel like shit about my weight. She constantly bemoaned how hard it was to buy things for me because my waist was so big and I was so short (this was, btw, before a growth spurt). She refused to buy jeans for me because she couldn't find any that fit my proportions. It was fucking YEARS before I finally bought my first pair of jeans as an adult because I knew I was too fat for them. So all through school, I wore stretch pants, and was constantly made fun of for them.

Then there's my hair. She didn't care to do anything with my hair. She convinced me I wanted it long, then never maintained it, just put it in a ponytail, which did me no favors. My hair was seldom cut because it stopped growing past a certain length, and was always limp and stringy and oily. There was one time - ONE - where she did something with my hair - she got me a perm when I was eleven. It was an awful experience, and taking care of it was miserable and I hated those picks needed to constantly smooth out the perpetual tangles. It made me hate doing anything with my hair.

It should not have taken over twenty years for me to realize I had curly hair that was actually really nice and easy to care for when anyone bothered.

My mom taught me that I was fat and ugly and there was nothing I could do about it.

Then she left us. She got a job where she worked third shift, and slept pretty much all day and ignored us. The only time we really saw her was when she was getting ready for work. She'd spend hours doing her make-up - for a factory job - blasting Bonnie Raitt's 'Something to Talk About' on perpetual repeat. To this day I absolutely HATE that song. HATE IT.

She'd met a guy on third shift, got caught cheating, and just left us.

They had just bought a house and a second vehicle together because they had two steady incomes. Now she wanted to leave us struggling.

My Dad gave her this option: He'd leave, she could have the house, the car, and us. She'd have everything, along with child support, and he'd get a couch at his brother's house.

She didn't want us.

So she left, taking only the family car, leaving us with a tiny Chevy S-10 pickup for a family of four. She didn't want shared custody. She didn't want to pay child support. She wanted nothing to do with us.

She then proceeded to make life Hell for us. While she did, with great reluctance, occasionally let us visit, it was rare. She also did everything she could to make sure we didn't have a support network. My Dad's side of the family is terrible - I will talk about them much later - and they wouldn't help. My Mom's side of the family cared for us, but my Mom did everything in her power to make sure we couldn't go to them for help. She knew her parents liked my Dad far more than her new guy, so she was going to make sure they wouldn't have any kind of relationship with my Dad.

She also wanted us to be spies. She had this idea that my Dad would be her safety net if the new guy didn't work out, so she made damn sure my Dad couldn't meet anyone or have any kind of life. And she wanted us to be her spies; she would quiz us about what Dad was up to, and persuade us to tell her everything, then she would proceed to leave nasty phone calls or messages on his bathroom mirror, because she'd kept a key to the house.

Meanwhile, she continued to be the world's worst mother. She had my two half-siblings, and we had to watch them get all the attention we never got, because unlike us, they were her children. She'd occasionally buy clothing, usually used stuff she found at yard sales that didn't fit (she seemed to think I was her size, despite me being taller and skinnier than her). Once she bought me a maternity outfit because she knew that would be the only thing that would fit me.

She also basically destroyed my past. Remember my despair that I couldn't find any medical records? She took a lot of things, including pretty much every baby picture of me, and left them in her parents' garage, which was exposed to the elements and eventually flooded and collapsed. She casually destroyed it and just doesn't care.

So, it's been years of barely tolerating my mother, occasionally trying to have some kind of relationship with her and wondering why I bother.

Now, she did once, not long after they divorced, ask if I wanted to live with her. Just me, not my siblings. I refused. I didn't want to live with a strange man and be second fiddle to my half siblings. And it would have gone very, very badly. I would have been living with a heavy smoker with ultra-conservative views whose fire-and-brimstone mother was the kind of person to get involved in everything. I would have received no health care, never been able to go anywhere, would have had to transfer to a school with the worst reputation in the area, probably would have had to help care for my half siblings, would not have new clothes, would not have gone to college, and would probably have the worst flea infestation because she doesn't really clean, either.

And the last time I saw her? She got into this anti-vaxx rant that was somehow also horrifically racist, and all I could think was, "Yeah, I'm never going to see you again."

She's just...UGH.

[redditreceipts]

The trans movement at large doesn't give a single damn about TiF bodily (even transitional) or reproductive autonomy and no one's fucking saying it but it's true.

Rape is "just getting laid" and sometimes "hole is owed" for career maneuvers and for "having societal power over trans women." Nonconsensual and unaware detransitioning of TiFs during bdsm isn't considered rape or transphobia or misogyny and can't be discussed even when no information about the perpetrator is given at all beyond their action because it's supposedly "transmisogynistic" to even say that it happened (way to tell on yourselves, TiMs and transmisogynistic TiF white knights) and it's supposedly "transmisogynistic" to share cautious and preventative measures against being hormonally detransitioned without consent or awareness for "safer" bdsm.

Prostitution is great ✨ except when it's to "use" a cis man (mutualistically) for networking purposes.

I'm processing all of the shit they put me through and all of the exact opposite of support that the trans community has for survivors, transmen included, transandrophobia bloggers and baeddels and irl trans community are all the same, and feel like I'm bleeding out on the inside but no I have to go work an over ten hour shift for pennies.

I hate them. I hate them so much. Left libertarian and liberal "queers" are the same as the rightwing religious fanatics regarding females, only virtue signaling.

hey :)

first of all, sorry for the late answer, I am trying to give a thought-out answer to an ask and sometimes, that takes a bit

and secondly yes, they don't care about bodily autonomy in the sense that they don't care about addressing the root of the issue. Most genderists do say verbally that they support the right to an abortion, but the issue won't be resolved unless it it understood that the female body is seen as a factory for new workers and soldiers in a patriarchal capitalist state. Women, the only ones who have control over this process, actually have an immense leverage if given control over their own bodies because they are inseperable from the means of production and have to be convinced and consenting to give pleasure to a male or new workers to a capitalist. That's why female bodily autonomy is incredibly threatening for a capitalist and patriarchal state, and that is also the reason for taking away that very right, be it by making it extremely expensive or outlawing it completely.

But gender identity believers can't admit that the subjugation of the woman is because of her body, because that would invalidate trans identity.

Politics are about our bodies. Work is performed by our bodies, and we can't identify into or out of a female body just as a worker can't identify into a capitalist* or a Black person can identify into a white person.

But genderists will never solve this issue, because they are allergic to material reality and because of that, every talk about "bodily autonomy for women" is just some sad echo from the days when feminism was interested in women's liberation.

It's actually good that you're angry, and you have every right to be! I don't know your personal history, but being angry can be a reason to change the world for good :)

*Yes, a worker can become a capitalist because the mechanics of capitalist vs. worker are different from the mechanics of woman vs. man, but my point is that identity alone is not a relevant factor in material reality.