#as though your age is extremely private information and by asking you to put your age up there to interact with us we are trying to dox you

[peachyykira]

just blocked someone who followed with my hometown area code who was the same age as me…

they didn’t have any pics where I could see their face (and honestly I’m not sure it was their content) but I don’t wanna risk it.

idk like… at least announce yourself or something if you recognize me lol.

[thenexusofsouls]

Private Muse: Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan

[Bio and other information below the cut!]

Full Name: Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan (PAH-oo ZOH-tah Zanne, like "Anne" with a Z, heh); "Pa'u" is her title, meaning "Priest," and Zotoh Zhaan is her actual name.

Nicknames: Zhaan; big beautiful blue bitch (said several times by a member of her found family, Rygel).

Type of Character & Fandom/Source Material: Sci-fi canon character from the TV series Farscape.

What I Mean By “Private Muse”: This muse is only open to mutuals and people I already rp with, so no new partners with this one for now. Anyone can send her or me informational asks (ones that aren’t starters or rps, but that just ask questions about her), but for actual rps I’m keeping this mutuals and regulars only until further notice. If you aren’t sure if I would be willing to write Zhaan with your muse(s), you can always ask me through the inbox or messages.

FC: Virginia Hey as Zhaan

Species: She's a higher flora-evolved lifeform. In other words, a sentient plant.

Race / Ethnicity: Delvian

Age: ~812 cycles (years)

Gender: Female

Height: 5' 10"

Religious Affiliation: Delvian Seek

Romantic Orientation: Panromantic

Sexual Orientation: Demisexual

Occupation / Role: Priest; spiritualist; healer; scientist

FAMILY

Bitaal (husband, deceased); Stark (lover); and her entire found family on Moya which, for those unfamiliar with the show, allow me to introduce you to them. Likely, they won't end up in any threads, as I can't write them all, haha, but for the sake of completeness for the canon version of Zhaan, I'll put them here. Think... Guardians of the Galaxy with regard to how much all of the following folks all loved and supported each other... while also making fun of and bickering with each other, heh. All of these people came to mean a great deal to Zhaan, so I feel it's important to give you a sense of her "family" if you haven't see the show at all. It's hard to boil down four seasons' worth of people into tiny blurbs, but I'll just give you a little window into each of them, and if nothing else, it'll give you a sense of the kind of universe Zhaan is from:

John Crichton - A human astronaut from Kansas, USA, who accidentally went through a wormhole and found himself stuck in space with a ship full of aliens, heh. He never really lost the desire to return home, but his found family on Moya became a huge part of his life. He's a brave and good person, but he can also be naive and gullible sometimes. Sort of the "captain" of the crew, he's... also kindof not, heh. There are too many strong and conflicting personalities aboard Moya, so even though he takes charge quite often, it's not without regular dissent, complaint, and challenges. Even so, he's extremely protective of Moya's crew, especially Aeryn, whom he falls in love with.

Aeryn Sun - A former Peacekeeper (Sebacean species and private military force contracted by civilized planets to keep order) soldier and pilot turned fugitive. Raised in a very rigid, emotionally repressed, and violent military culture, Aeryn can be cold and emotionally unavailable. Deep down, however, she has a caring and courageous heart and will fiercely fight for what she believes in. She's an absolute spitfire. If she kicks your ass and tells you how much she hates you, you're doing something right with her, haha. She falls in love with John and, against her own culture and laws, ends up having a child with him.

Ka D'argo - A Luxan warrior initially imprisoned by Peacekeepers on Moya. Being a warrior is a large part of his identity and pride, and he is often guarded with his emotions, but he is a loyal friend and would easily die for those he loves. He's noble, strong, honorable, and brave. He was married, but his wife was murdered by her own brother because she'd married outside her own race. D'argo was then in love with Chiana (see below) for a while and wanted to marry her, but she betrayed him with his own son from his previous marriage and broke his heart.

Dominar Rygel XVI - A deposed Hynerian emperor and Peacekeeper prisoner for over 130 cycles. He's a whole lotta personality in a very small package, behaving very regally (or pompously) one moment and indulging in gluttony and kleptomania the next. Haughty and conceited, he can also be silly and sweet as well. Depends on the day and the moment, heh. He loves to hoard shiny things like gemstones. He floats around Moya in a small hovercraft, called a throne sled, since his legs are very short and stubby. Opinionated, and sometimes hard to handle, heh.

Chiana (left, with bonus background Rygel) - A young Nebari woman who learned how to survive the hard way as a child and ultimately decided to stay with the crew of Moya to ease her loneliness. Chiana is a wild child, heh. She's impulsive, chaotic, promiscuous, energetic, and unfortunately often irresponsible. She speaks and acts before she thinks most of the time, and that gets her into trouble, but when she loves, she loves fiercely, even if she's often afraid of admitting her own vulnerability and emotions. A poster child for fear of commitment, for sure. When she found out D'Argo wanted to marry her, she became terrified of being tied down and slept with his son on a foolish whim. After that, their relationship was never the same.

Pilot (right, with bonus Aeryn) - "Pilot" is his name, his occupation, and his species. Pilots bond with Leviathan species like Moya, creating a symbiotic and mutualistic connection that is both functionally and emotionally nurturing and facilitative. This particular Pilot is Moya's second after the first was forcibly removed by Peacekeepers. Pilot not only manages and monitors Moya's functions and health, but he also looks after and interacts with the crew as well. He lives exclusively in a den deep inside Moya and never leaves it. The crew are very protective of Pilot, as they are of Moya, and they look at him as a sort of guardian over them all because of his connection to their living ship.

Stark (with bonus Zhaan) - Stark is a Stykera (a subrace of the Banik, a Sebaceanoid slave race). The metal mask that covers half of his head is keeping an incorporeal portion of his head contained. That purely spiritual part of his head glows dark orange when the mask is removed. He only removes it when he is removing someone's pain or helping a soul over to cross over after death. Doing this is something he is solemn about and takes very seriously, but it also mentally destabilizes him at times, because he feels the pain, fear, and sadness of the souls he assists. Spoiler alert: Stark was Zhaan's lover and was devastated by her slow decline into illness and then her sacrificial death. Despite his grief, when Zhaan died, Stark helped her soul to pass to the next plane of existence, as she'd requested of him.

Their ship, Moya - A Leviathan species, this "ship" is actually a living, sentient organism inside which other beings can live, work, or be held prisoner. Leviathans are used by Peacekeepers as prison transport vessels. Moya, however, broke free of Peacekeeper control and went rogue, hence why she and her crew are hunted throughout the show as the Peacekeepers try to reclaim her. Throughout the show, Moya's physical and mental health were something to contend with as she dealt with things like injury, illness, fear, panic, and battle. It was often up to Pilot and the rest of the crew to keep her calm, happy, healthy, and functioning well, not only for their own safety, but for hers as well. Respect for Moya was always something solidly displayed by her crew.

Talyn, Moya's son - Yep, Leviathans can have babies! Although Moya's pregnancy was a rocky one and her crew was not certain the baby would live, it was a time to rejoice when the little one was born healthy. Talyn is an energetic and often willful little one, sometimes going against the wishes of his mother and her crew. A former commander of Aeryn's, a man named Crais, ended up living inside Talyn to help manage and guide him as he grew and found his way as a Leviathan, since he lacked a Pilot.

Potentially Triggering Material in Threads: Mental illness; mental instability; mental breakdown; violence; war; slavery; impulse control; murder; death; sacrifice; imprisonment; forced labor; illness; disease; loss; grief

Negative Personality Traits: I'm honestly struggling to think of some, heh, but Zhaan can be very stubborn at times, especially when she thinks she has the moral high ground. If she's dead set on something or has decided to do something and refuses to budge from it, she's nearly impossible to convince otherwise. She can be a bit erratic with her emotions under very dire circumstances, especially when the lives of loves ones are threatened and/or she's experiencing mental instability. In that same vein, when she is tapped into or taken over by her darker side, she can become violent, savage, erratic, unpredictable, and dangerous.

Neutral Personality Traits: Zhaan can become sarcastic, snarky, and even a bit biting in some situations with regard to her dialog. She may say things under her breath that in many cases are humorous on their surface, but also reveal that she's annoyed about something, or that she's trying to point out a way in which you're falling short of what she expects from you in a given situation. For example, during a situation in which the entire screw of the ship stood to imminently lose their lives, one of them followed their own selfish pursuit for something and was excited that they were close to attaining it. Zhaan responded with a deadpan delivery, "Amidst our misfortune, I'm pleased for you, John." In other words... that's great, but in case you forgot, we're all about to die, heh. But she phrases it delicately and almost kindly, more like a lesson taught rather than an outright chastisement or criticism.

Positive Personality Traits: Oh gosh, I don't have five years, heh. So many. Well, when she's in control of her mind and emotions, she's warm, giving, caring, loving, kind, helpful, wise, patient, gentle, selfless, dignified, honorable, considerate, empathetic... etc. Zhaan doesn't see sex, race, ethnicity, or appearance, she sees hearts and minds. She sees the diversity, splendor, and sacredness of life itself. She is able to see the good in almost anyone and draw it out of them. She most definitely brings out the best in those who spend any amount of time with her. I'm sure there more positive traits but you get the idea. Oh, she can also be pretty damn sassy and funny when she wants to be too. One of my favorite lines of hers was to her friend, Chiana, when she told a raunchy story and then said to Zhaan, "Should I be telling you this?" Zhaan's response was, "My dear, I've kicked more ass than you've sat on." (You can hear her say this in the fifth clip listed in the "Video Clips" sections below, at around the 4:30 mark. XD)

BACKGROUND & GENERAL INFO

Zotoh Zhaan is from the planet Delvia, home to the Delvians, a theocratic race. The Delvian Seek was the dominant religion, with their ruling class of priests called the Pa’u. Pa’u Bitaal, an influential conservative faction member, was Zhaan’s emotional counsel and lover. After he refused to agree to a peaceful transfer of power at the end of his tenure, he and the conservative wing of the Pa’u set about quashing all dissent, protest, and rebellion using the Peacekeepers as a kind of hired police force. As a result, Delvia became a police state that used fear, exile, and imprisonment to keep Bitaal and the conservatives in power.

Zhaan’s father was a victim of this, as he was arrested and sent to an asteroid prison camp. She felt personally betrayed by Bitaal and that he had betrayed the Delvian people. To stop him, she murdered him while they were joined in Unity. However, because indulging in their darker and more violent sides causes mental instability in Delvians, and because disruptions and traumas during Unity can be mentally devastating as well, the assassination broke her mentally. She descended into a violent and unhinged madness she could scarcely control.

Arrested, convicted, and imprisoned for Bitaal’s murder, Zhaan spent three cycles on a maximum labor planet. Her wild madness continued for 17 cycles before she was transferred to a prison Leviathan named Moya. Leviathans are living creatures inside which other beings can reside or be forcibly contained. Zhaan spent eight cycles inside Moya before the Leviathan broke free of Peacekeeper control and escaped. During that time, she decided to attempt to calm and realign her mind through prayer and meditation, and to join the Delvian Seek. Using meditative techniques, Zhaan was slowly able to calm the wild and violent madness in her mind and to stabilize her emotions. In doing this, she was able to become a 9th level Pa’u, and later, through further life experience, a 10th level Pa’u.

She took her religion and her control over her morality and emotions very seriously. Maintaining control over her darker side, however, was a battle Zhaan had to maintain for the rest of her life. It didn’t always come easily, and she sometimes slipped and did things she was not proud of. Whenever that would happen, she would retreat from the rest of her found family on Moya to meditate and recenter herself. If she committed a dire enough offense against her peaceful ways, she would forego her priest’s robes until she felt worthy of them again.

THE RELIGION OF THE DELVIAN PA'U

The Pa’u believe in a “Goddess” that they often pray to and regularly invoke. She is a kind, gentle, merciful, and tranquil deity. The aspirations of Delvian Pa’u are to attain a state of mental peace to emulate the spiritual tranquility of their Goddess. Pa’u have the potential to have many abilities, all granted by their Goddess and stronger the calmed and more mentally centered they are. Meditation is usually used to attain higher levels of calm in Pa’u, but great perseverance and dedication can also sometimes suffice, as was the case with Zhaan.

The majority of a Pa’u’s powers are nonviolent in nature, but they can be made to be violent in rare cases and under specific circumstances. However, if a Pa’u does this too often and abuses their powers, their sanity will eventually suffer and be lost.

ABOUT UNITY

Initiating Unity with someone is often referred to as “to share in Unity” or “to join with someone in Unity.” Zhaan has referred to it as “the sharing of thoughts and souls” and “the merging of minds.”

During Unity, the initiator touches their forehead to that of the other they wish to meld minds with. They will then share a consciousness, most intimate thing a person can do with someone (even more so than sex), but it’s also very dangerous as you risk a total mental break and insanity if it goes wrong or if you try to meld with a mentally unstable person. It leaves Zhaan very emotionally vulnerable and potentially changed for some time afterward each time she engages in Unity. Because of this, she does it sparingly and most often would prefer not to do it except under the most trusting or necessary of circumstances.

PERSONALITY & SUPERNATURAL ABILITIES

Despite her humanoid appearance, Zhaan is a plant-based lifeform. She is resistant to low temperatures and unharmed by experiencing extreme cold with minimal clothing. She’s also resistant to some types of poisons and pathogens because she is plant-based and not mammalian.

She greatly respects the sanctity of life. Things like improper respect for the sick, dying, or dead very much offend her. Removal of free will, such as restraining or containing the sick and dying against their will is something that also offends her.

As is the rest of her race, Zhaan has no self-consciousness with regard to her body, nudity, sex, or anything else of that nature. She often meditates in the nude in order to feel the freest and most grounded she can.

She is an empath. She can glean the emotions of others by touching them with her hands. She’s also highly emotionally intelligent, able to tell what people really mean even when they don’t say the exact words. She is good at detecting when someone is being less than truthful, and she tends to have a lot of patience for people experiencing volatile emotions.

Caution: BIG spoilers for the show beyond this point! Zhaan has so much love to give. She is, at her core, a kind, caring, and selfless person. She considers her life’s purpose as being to protect, heal, and give hope to others. Examples of this are seen throughout the three seasons she was on the show, but are no more apparent than in Season 3. When fellow crew member and friend Aeryn is killed, Zhaan enters Unity with her body, reaching her soul and bringing her back to life by infusing Aeryn with her own spiritual energy. This act leaves her so drained of life force that she begins to slowly die.

A few episodes later finds her very ill yet still attempting to be an active member of the ship’s crew and support her friends. Moya and the symbiotic alien that interfaces with her, Pilot, are dying as a result of a wormhole-relating merging of Moya and another alien ship. Chiana, a member of Moya’s crew and Zhaan’s friend, is devastated by this, since they may all perish if they decide to stay with Moya and not abandon her. Even though she’s dying, Zhaan takes the time to offer bits of wisdom and comfort to her. Chiana said she knew they were making the right decision, but that it was really hurting her. Zhaan gently replied, "In the time that is left, child, use your mind to satisfy your soul that it is correct." (See a clip of this below in the "Videos Clips" section, the first video.)

In order to save Moya and Pilot, and knowing that she is dying anyway, Zhaan prays to the Goddess to save them, telling her to “ask anything in return.” The price would be her life, and it means losing the chance of finding a planet with conditions that might heal her plant physiology, which her friends were attempting to do for her when this dire situation arose. Even knowing this, she makes the choice to sacrifice herself for Pilot and the living ship.

Zhaan's death... really could not have been a more meaningful and beautiful one. It happened on her terms, it was an act of pure love and sacrifice, and it really embodied who she was at her core. T^T Her final words were to address her friends who were present just before her sacrifice and attempt to ease their distress over her impending death. She says, "Sensitive D'Argo, Exuberant Chiana, Wise Rygel, Selfless Aeryn, Innocent Crichton, my children, my teachers, my loves, there is no blame, only what is meant to be. Grow through your mistakes and know, if patient, redemption will find you." (See a clip of this below in the "Video Clips" section, the fourth video.)

POTENTIAL STARTER IDEAS & VERSES

Canon verse: I mean, I can try? But I can't write a good number of Moya's crew, I just don't have those skills. But like if your muse(s) wanted to find her on an empty Moya being the only prisoner contained there? Moya doesn't speak so I wouldn't have to write much for her, and I could write Pilot no problem. So that's a possibility. Your muse(s) find Moya, board her, start searching around, and oops we've got a locked up Delvian here. XD

Canon-divergent verses: Time travel, alternate realities, parallel universes, and wormholes are all a thing in Zhaan's universe, so... really anything is possible. We can start a multiverse thing, a time travel thing, or meld things together in weird ways with enough imagination.

MCU verse: Zhaan could easily blend into anything space-related in the MCU. It'd be a bit of a stretch to have her be an Avenger at the compound, but listen, I'm here to have fun, let's do all the fudging we want, right? So we can definitely do a lot of different things in an MCU verse if you write those kinds of muses.

Pa'U vs. Dark Zhaan: We can start something where Zhaan is a Pa'U already, which would be my default, or when she's overtaken by her dark and violent side. Maybe your muse helps bring her out of her rage and/or mental instability in some way or otherwise sees that she's battling her own nature and becomes invested in some way.

FUN FACTS & COLORFUL INFO 

The color pattern of the skin of her face and head can sometimes shift, indicating various changes in her health. For example, if she is deathly ill or dying, the pattern may turn an orange-red color.

Her eyes also change color, but not in response to her health. They change from pale blue to bright red when her mind changes from calm to violent.

She’s sexually turned on by ionic radiation from things like solar flares and pulsars. They cause what she refers to as “photogasms” for her.

As a priest, she can officiate funerals and marriages, and give elegies for the dead.

Zhaan is a scientist in addition to being a priest. She specializes in chemistry, botany, biology, and herbalism. She’s capable of making antidotes and medicines for a number of ailments and diseases, as well as performing chemical and biochemical assays to investigate the properties of poisons and toxic substances.

Aboard Moya, every individual of the found family that all the main characters on the show become is from a different race that utilizes a different language. They are all always speaking their own native languages, but they can all understand each other with the help of “translator microbes,” microorganisms that infect and confer the ability to understand and speak the languages of others.

The show had creative ways of getting around saying certain words that were religiously specific or potentially offensive to viewers, often replacing the words with others that were used as if part of another language. This was also true for some units of time and distance as well. For example, amen = amet; minute = microt; year = cycle; and f*ck/f*cking = frell/frelling.

VIDEO CLIPS

Even though she's sick and dying, Zhaan comforts Chiana as the crew are forced to face having no choice but to abandon Moya and Pilot to save themselves.

A note on how Zhaan's wisdom in Farscape is something we can learn from, showcased in a short analysis of her and Rygel's relationship.

An informational video about Delvians that goes into some of Zhaan's nature and biology as a plant species.

Zhaan's death scene (Caution, spoilers and emotional scenes! But it's not violent or graphic, don't worry. Also, John Crichton's last words to Zhaan, "Wait for the Wheel," are from this quote he shared earlier, something his grandmother used to say: "Life is a Wheel that’s constantly turning. Sometimes it grinds you down into the muck, and sometimes it raises you up. Sometimes in life, you get a second chance. You just gotta wait for the Wheel.” He was referring to how Zhaan reinvented herself, found religion, and mended her broken spirit through the events of the show to eventually attain spiritual peace. For her, the Wheel turned round again, lifting her out of the "muck.").

An interview with Virginia Hey about Zhaan's character and her relationship with the some of the other characters on the show.

MUSE PLAYLIST

"Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt - This makes me think of Zhaan reflecting back just before her death on how much she loves the rest of Moya's crew, how they've stood by her through her trials, and essentially asking them to remember her fondly after she's gone, letting go for the final time.

"Glades of Summer" by Sirenia - This makes me think of the crew of Moya reflecting on how Zhaan has helped and guided them, taken their pain, and been their anchor... and then having to face her death.

"Ashes of Eden" by Breaking Benjamin - This for me is Stark during Zhaan's final days/moments of life, struggling to be strong in the face of losing her, not wanting her to die, feeling unworthy of her and of the honor of helping her cross over after death... but ultimately going through with it for her.

[planetsano]

one last thing! then I won’t be talking about this anymore! 🩷

in regards to user @/startitties

“the mods talked behind my back.” yes. someone contacted a mod about how she felt because she was uncomfortable. the mods then had a staff meeting about the correct steps to take the relayed the information to me, to which I then asked you about.

if you’re upset about that, then I genuinely don’t know what to tell you because we have a system set to handle situations like this. its a very normal way to handle it. i’ve been running servers for a while now and I learned through trial and error.

if you’re saying that you wanted to be included in a mod’s conversation about a complaint they received about you, but you’re also saying you feel.. “ganged up” on when I spoke to you privately one on one. let’s be serious.. that wouldn’t have gone over well with you at all.

the screenshots are there. I approached you with respect and I was very polite and professional to you. I gave you a chance to say what you were feeling, you said everything was fine but it in fact, was not fine. people cannot read your mind. if you pose as though you’re fine.. everyone is going to think you’re okay if you don’t speak up. sub posting and being passive aggressive is a shady way to move no matter how you look at it. and unfortunately, a member was made uncomfortable and spoke to a mod about what to do.

this is feeling like a.. “you can’t be uncomfortable with me because i was uncomfortable with you first!” kind of situation and it doesn’t work like that. i’m also not invalidating anyone’s feelings, I was completely open to hearing what was going on with you but you weren’t trying to understand or hear anything from me because you immediately put yourself in a victim’s role.

i understand not being comfortable with confrontation because i’m personally not, however, if a mod comes to you asking about a situation, its not blaming you or pointing fingers. you didn’t communicate anything to us and it blew up way out of proportion. yes? it’s trivial because it could have been solved through communication. we all have attachments to our themes because for a lot of us it’s our online persona.

you say you were “perfectly content” but you take to tumblr to blow a situation up, lie and spread a completely false narrative. you were “perfectly content” but you said there were “bad vibes” in a friendly atmosphere to which all active members can a test to because we really cut up the that vc channel. i’ll attach just a couple of everyone’s interactions with you.

going on tumblr and outright lying and spinning a very false narrative in your comments/to your followers is not how you handle situations, and unfortunately, that’s what happened on Stella’s behalf.

to blow up all this drama over the glitter divider and the pink spinning heart gif that everyone has or has used on their blog at one point seems really... immature, I’m sorry. We all love ours themes and we all work extremely hard on them but for all this to drag two, almost three months is wild.

to go online make these outrageous claims like calling us ableists for approaching you about the situation in a very respectful manner isn’t okay. Especially when half the mod team suffer from their own mental illnesses and the other half are neurodivergent themselves.

to make disgusting implications behind us “not doing ID checks” (when the mods and I do research on a blog to determine if they really are said age) when you’re in your twenties and you’re okay with interacting with and allowing 15/16 year olds on a nsfw blog you run is nuts.

this isn’t her first offense with accusing others of stealing from her— it just seems like a pattern. If you dig through, she’s made multiple accounts and the same set of issues have been following her.

the victim complex is ultimately what’s making this situation with me speaking to you as an admin and doing my role, the issue.

i’m not an enforcer, i’m an informer. you left on your accord and i’m happy you did yourself that favor.

UPDATE 10/18/23 — we all know you’ve been sending hate messages and threats to our inboxes. please stop.

good luck.

[sophiserrano]

THE BASICS.

full name: ananya saowaluk. nickname(s): meena, meen. age: twenty - seven. date of birth: august 8th. gender & pronouns: cis woman, she & her. orientation: bisexual. languages: english, thai, mandarin. occupation: model & influencer ( fashion + lifestyle ). clubs in high school: captain of the cheerleading team.

ABOUT MEENA.

trigger warnings: drug use, death.

has always been your stereotypical rich kid. the head cheerleader, prom queen and part of the "popular crowd", dating someone from the sports team, the brat. everything had to go her way and if it didn't, meena would have a completely meltdown — or at least one reminiscent of one. which was too be expected coming from a household like hers.

her mother was never around, apparently she got hitched after divorcing meen's father and completely ditched the family she'd started. and her father? he was there, but .. not at the same time. any sort of attention or time he had always went to his work and thus, leaving meena in the care of revolving nannies.

of course, resentment seemed to grow as the years went on. always picking fights with her father, acting out and doing the exact opposite of everything he asked of her. they’d fight a lot — more like she fought — and as a way to put an end to every single one of them, her father merely handed her his card; hoping a little shopping would make the problem go away. it did.. for a while, but the bitterness and anger never seemed to subside. she’s got a handful of daddy issues.

when it came to school, meena's grades were nothing above average and the only reason she actually bothered to maintain them was for the sake of cheerleading—the one and only extracurricular activity she did and enjoyed. which showed in the way she'd manage to become captain and took her role extremely seriously.

the lack of attention she got at home managed to transfer into her school life — wanting to be the center of attention in every aspect of it. she kept her social circle big by ensuring she was hanging around with the types of kids everyone wanted to befriend and tried to mimic the image of a decent human being ... but, deep down. she's far from it.

if she didn't consider you anything more than just someone she hung out with, or simply didn't like you, meena made sure that she'd take every opportunity she could to humiliate you. whether it was by gaining trust and throwing whatever information she learned right back at you ( privately or publicly ) or doing things she knows would embarrass a person, she did it. though, meena always played innocent — brushing it off as if it were an accident or because she "didn't know it was a secret".

truthfully, she's just an ugly person on the inside and she knows it. that’s why, for the most part, she tries her best to play the role of the ‘nice’ girl ( and fail miserably ) and anyone with a set of eyes can see it’s a lie. call her out and watch it instantly drop.

meena, practically having no one but herself her whole life, tends to think of only herself. wanting everything to go her way and if they don’t, it’d lead to a fight more often than not. she’s dramatic, tbh.

can very snappy, sarcastic and says things that probably come off as insensitive. plus, her inability to take anything serious seems to get her in more trouble than what it’s worth.

can handle herself in an argument, but is definitely not a fighter. she’s the type to figure out how to hurt you in other ways. a petty and sneaky queen. also can hold a grudge and will not stop being mad at someone until she feels like she’s ready to get over it—which won’t happen if the other person doesn’t say sorry to her. 

she’s got her phone out at all times. whether it’s to take videos of her day or photos of what she’s doing —meena always needs it. 

recently moved back to oregon, begrudgingly, because she's gotten so used to having daddy around to fix her issues but deep down, he's the only family she had and couldn't handle actually being alone in life. does live alone, of course, but she's not too far from her father's place.

RELATIONSHIP TO CHRIS / THE PARTY.

to everyone else, they seemed to be pretty good friends. somehow always hanging around in the same circles, laughing and goofing off but deep down .. meena didn't really care all that much for him. he was just ... there. though, that didn't mean she liked him. much to popular belief, meena couldn't stand him and would count down the minutes she could leave whenever they were together. why did she hang out with him? simply because quantity was better than quality in meena's eyes. like most of the "friends" she kept around. the night of the party, meena was off doing what everyone else was doing — drinking, getting high, laughing about all the dares. in fact.. when chris never came up from the surface, she was the very last one to stop laughing because of how serious everyone seemed to get. because of how serious the situation was. ultimately, she was the very first person to agree with keeping his death a secret between everyone involved. she had too much going for her in life and wasn't going to let this be the reason it all came crumbling down. and when everyone agreed to pretend as if it never happened, that's truly what meena did — continuing to show up, live her life and with the way she held herself, no one would've expected she'd been involved in anything. even now, if meen has to talk about the situation, it's in the most insensitive way .. as if it were something minor as opposed to someone dying.

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 9 in Twisted Strangetown: The Goth in Disguise

THE PREVIOUS DAY

H: Hello, lovely! Harper Morgan at your service. How may I help you?

A: Oh, shoot, I'm sorry. I was calling for my brother.

H: AKTU? Where have you been for the past year? Are you okay? And why wouldn't you answer any of our calls?

A: I'm more confused on why you're referring to yourself as "Harper" with your wife's maiden name.

H: You're dodging the question!

A: Okay, fine! I'm being held captive by SCIA.

???: We're not holding you captive. You're here because we need answers on how you were able to reverse the mind control. We need that information to save everyone else in Strangetown.

H: Save Strangetown from what, darling? They all seem fine to me!

A: Hamza, stop speaking like that.

???: There's an unknown force that's caused everyone's personalities to be set to the extreme, alongside giving them "brain fog" that we recently discovered that made them unable to recall past events and think for long periods of time. Things seem okay now, but there have been cases of the past of these extremities causing people to attack others.

H: Ooh, I get it! So we're preventing something worse from happening, right?

???: Precisely.

H: Well, I'll be more than happy to talk to you, love! In exchange, you can let my dear brother go free. How about that?

???: Depends on what you can provide.

H: Provide, huh? Oh, I can provide much more than you think...

A: Hamza, you're married.

H: Celeste said that it's okay to seduce people for money or power as long as I tell her first! And I hold the same rule to her, too!

???: Well, we'll see. What time works for you?

H: I can actually come by right now, dear! Just...give me some time to get ready, okay?

???: Got it. I'll send you the location. Be quick.

*Beep*

H: Can't believe I have to put everything back on...

NAME: HAMZA "HARPER MORGAN" TERRESTRIAL

AGE: ADULT

STATUS: ALIVE, FUNCTIONAL

I am unsure which of the two names was Harper's real name, but she seemed neutral for both so I assume it's a good idea to continue to refer to her as Harper.

Harper claimed to reside in Bluewater Village, but was temporarily residing in Strangetown for reasons she would not specify. She lives with her two kids, one of which was the product of an alien abduction and both of whom attend private school.

When I questioned Harper about "Celeste," the woman she had mentioned in the recording, she claimed that I misremembered and that she was single. She then proceeded to flirt with me as if she would forget, before I threatened to tell Aktu about what happened. This prompted her to confess that she did have a wife, and that the two were in an open relationship. I may have to confirm this with Aktu later, though I'm unsure if this information is important.

Harper followed this up by talking more about her wife, entering a long tangent about how amazing she was and how she was so lucky to find someone "out of her league." Once she was done, she then told me that there were rumors of gadgets being built in Strangetown that could potentially allow people to mind control others without possessing any supernatural powers.

This would likely mean that the town-wide control is the product of a haywire experiment. And there is one guy in town who already has a track record of haywire experiments that negatively affect the entire town - Loki Beaker. The good news is that Chloe and Lola were already at their place for observations, so I can simply ask them to bring him here.

Once our conversation concluded, Harper and I agreed to let Aktu go on the condition that he wore a tracking device in case we needed to locate him again. Aktu seemed okay with this, and the two of them returned to Bluewater with no complaints.

This concludes our first interrogation. It's time for us to collect our next suspect!

THE NEXT DAY

[krpositivity]

is there a guide on how to join rp groups on tumblr? //

Usually, you send in a reservation of some sort, alongside a public password (that makes you know that the faceclaim they placed on reservation list is one you reserved, or if it doesn't match, so you are aware and can send in a new reservation with a different faceclaim in mind) as well as a private password that only you and admin(s) will know (that makes the admins know it's you who made the initial reserve who's submitting and not someone trying to snatch). Depending on the context of the roleplay, along the passwords and faceclaim, you may be able to reserve a subplot, skeleton, superpower, university room, etc.

99% of the time, the group you want to join will have an application form as well as sample application to show you how to fill it in with your character's information! Some groups are "appless" and therefore require just you filling in that premade form and submitting it through their /submit link, though there are also groups that ask for a biography style of writing, and recently there have been one with some sort of an in-character questionnaire. Again, groups usually have that specified and provide a guiding sample! You apply with an empty blog, which can have any url, or a set format -again specified by admins in their rules most likely! Some directories put in a secret password somewhere in their rules that you need to add to your application so they know you read the page thoroughly (for example: tell us your favorite fruit in your application). You provide your ooc information through application as well, including your name, age (18+ or specific is up to you!), timezone, triggers or icks you need tagged, as well as the aforementioned private password.

Once you're accepted, given that rp groups on tumblr are closed type, you're only to follow the main directory and fellow members of it. Unlike in 1x1, in group rps you aren't allowed to reblog meme prompts made by third parties, rather only those posted by group admins. You should usually post an introduction post within the 48 hours of acceptance, and there you can explain your character's backstory, some additional information about them, quirks, really anything! as well as some plot ideas you have in mind for them that would make plotting easier.

As someone who is fairly new to group roleplaying, no one has judged me for it and everyone has been extremely welcoming in directories I've joined! I hope this is of any help nonnie and that you find a place to write at <3

♡

[captainsimagines]

pretty woman, this is me trying || two

Summary: Bucky Barnes does not like to be touched. He’s completely ready to live a distant life and give up when the time is right. Until Stark hires him his own personal pretty woman. Over time, Bucky Barnes begins to learn how to touch again. How to feel again. How to love himself again.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female SexWorker!Reader

Trope(s): Holiday Fanfic ; Slow-Burn ; Friends to Lovers

Based on the Song(s): sweet nothing by Taylor Swift and Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

(2/14)

Mini-Series 

Warnings: discussions about consensual sex work; strong language; references to sexual acts

Word Count: 3,380+

~

     Sometimes you loved your job. Sometimes you hated it.

On a night like this, however, you absolutely loved it.

Kendall was a forty-something year old man—he hadn’t disclosed the exact age for work related reasons—and he always picked the best restaurants. Italian cuisine, Chinese, Mexican. It was like he scoured all of New York for you specifically, and made note of the best ones.

When he had first sent you a message, you were weirded out by the lack of information on his page. You had sent his profile to be vetted through the website’s system, only to be told that he had special permission to leave his profile half blank. Apparently, Mr. Kendall No Last Name was a CIA agent who asked for the utmost discretion.

So with pepper spray and a letter opener in your purse, you risked it.

And boy, was that a good choice.

He never wanted to sleep with you. He just wanted company. Someone to talk to about his pending divorce and about stress from work. A hot meal was provided, a hotel room was usually booked, and reruns of old 90s movies played in the background as Kendall continued ranting, drinking his champagne and falling asleep before you.

He was attractive. Green eyes and curly brown hair. A muscular body that wasn’t too extreme. Lips that you had found yourself staring at for too long some moments. But they were so perfectly etched on his face, how could you not?

You’d be a liar if you said you weren’t excited for his dates. He was a repeat client, scheduled for Friday nights and sometimes Saturday mornings. He had been choosing your services for over a year, and Christmas time brought his highest booking rates.

One-thousand dollars a night. No sex, he wouldn’t let you pay for food, and he always ended the date with, “So, same time next week?”

Your phone pinged with the notification that he had indeed booked you for the same time next week.

Kendall wasn’t your only client, though. And just because he wasn’t asking you for sex didn’t mean the others weren’t.

Justin was usually an all-in kind of guy. You usually had to fake your orgasms with him. But he was attractive and held good conversation, so you put up with it.

Marvin just wanted blowjobs. Literally, that was all he ever asked for. Then he filled up the rest of his time with talk of Star Wars.

Leslie was your only female client. After doing your nails and gossiping about work, she went down on you. Like, for an hour straight. Then she pulled out the strap-on, laid on her stomach, and asked you to fuck her hard and fast.

She was probably the client you looked forward to the most after Kendall.

You unlocked your apartment door and triple-checked the lock after closing it. You had left your pajamas laid out and your skincare routine all lined up. You internally high-fived yourself for that.

Once you snuggled up in bed, you scrolled through your social media. You were private on most things, and your public sites had no personal photos. It was a hazard for work, so you compromised.

As your eyes became heavier, you clicked off your phone and turned it upside down on your nightstand. You had a free day tomorrow. No clients, just grocery shopping.

Your phone pinged. Had Kendall forgotten something? Did you remember to take your cardigan from the passenger seat of his car?

You groaned and unlocked your phone, squinting as the light nearly blinded you. It was a notification from the escort app—a private message. You debated opening it in the morning, but a free day was a free day for a reason. No work, no distractions, nothing.

You choked on your spit as you finished reading the first line. Flopping over in bed, you reached over to turn on your lamp.

“Good evening, Escort Renaissance.”

You rolled your eyes. It was a stage name you had picked as a joke, thinking you could change it later. But your profile was completed and made permanent once you created the account. You would have to contact customer service to change it or create a whole different profile. It was more work than you wanted to do.

“As you can tell by the encryption, this message is private. Not even the technology support of this app can view it. My name is Maria Hill, co-director of Stark Industries and field agent, tasked with contacting you through Tony Stark himself.”

This had to be a joke. It was a joke. No way this was serious.

“We were wondering if you would be interested in attending the annual Avengers Christmas Ball this month. Our only request is that you attend on the arm of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. If his history is a dealbreaker for you, please delete this email and sign the NDA that will appear in your personal email inbox afterward.

If you accept, would you be able to visit the Avengers Compound tomorrow morning, December 2nd, and possibly meet with the Sergeant? Specifics of this agreement will be, and can only be, discussed in person.

Thank you,

Agent Maria Hill, Co-Director

Stark Industries”

You blinked at the message multiple times, rereading it just in case something popped up mid-read and announced it was a scam. Because this had to be.

There was no way the Winter Soldier was in the market for a hooker.

~

     You were a stupid person. You were going to be proven right, that this was all a scam, and be absolutely humiliated at the front door. Or rather, front gate.

Oh my god, there were people with guns at the front gate.

What the fuck do you say? Hi! I’m the escort one of you signed up for!

You drove to the entrance and counted your breaths, trying to make the next inhale longer than the last. The man at the kiosk motioned at you to stop your car. Then five other people started scanning it and checking your tires.

“You know what? Forget it. I just remembered I had this appointment with my nail tech at one today, so I can just put this bitch in reverse and fuck off—”

“Are you M.R?”

Are you M.R?

“By M.R, do you mean Miss Renaissance?”

The man’s eyebrows knitted together as he read his clipboard again. “Yeah, the artist Stark wanted to speak with about a new piece for his office.”

You swallowed a whimper. The humiliation was turning to nausea now. “Yup, that’s me. Artist, painter, what the fuck drawer.”

He stared at you for a few seconds before shaking his head, deciding it was better to just let you through than deal with you himself. If anything did go wrong, the Avengers would handle you.

Oh my god, the Avengers would handle you.

Squealing all the way to the parking lot, you prayed to whatever entity would listen that this conversation went well. Did the Avengers often call for sex workers to… accompany them to Balls? Or did they employ them for what the job description literally said?

You were escorted through the entrance and down several hallways. They let you know where the bathrooms were, where the fire alarm was, where the I need an Avenger, stat! alarm was. They were color-coded, too.

You stepped faaaar away from the green one.

They made you sign an NDA regardless. You were sat in a large room that looked lived-in, with a kitchen off to the side and the entrance to the gym on the other. A stray cardigan hung from the recliner and several board games were stacked in the bookcase. Someone’s Netflix home page was on the TV screen, slideshow on.

These were the same people who fought aliens and killed people. Who carried guns and were hunted by the government for a time. Who had seen atrocious things and lived through immense trauma—

“Miss Renaissance!”

You startled, phone toppling from your already shaking fingers and onto the blue rug. You scoped the floor like Velma looking for her glasses, apologizing under your breath. Whoever stepped in front of you had very nice dress shoes.

“That’s me, I’m her. Hi.”

They held out a hand. You dared to look up, whimper fully released now as you realized whose hand was reaching down to help you. Never in your life did you think Tony Stark would help you stand. Let alone contact you. No doubt he’s utilized the services of escorts and the like, but did you ever think you’d be one of them? Nope.

“Glad to see you’re on time! And dressed incredibly saucy if I may add.”

You blushed, looking down at your attire. You had worn a knitted sweater and a pair of leggings, with sneakers and some fuzzy socks. It was almost winter, after all. Stark’s sarcasm is a relief really. It didn’t sound condescending.

“Well, they say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

“And what job do you want?”

“Why, hooker of course!”

Stark sputters a laugh, smiling wide. “Yay, I like you already. Follow me?”

The breath is knocked from your lungs in one big rush. All the worry you were feeling beforehand had seemed to diminish, now turning into something more neutral. If they didn’t want you around, then you’ll have left without making such a horrendous first impression.

“You sign the NDA?”

“Got the ink on my fingers to prove it.”

“You like the compound?”

“I prefer my little shoebox.”

“You like big, strong, burly men with long hair?”

“If they can fuck like Gods, I’m all for them.”

Another choked laugh. “Good to know.”

He led you into a more private area, and it wasn’t until Pietro Maximoff appeared from a side door that you realized where you were heading.

A bedroom.

Oh my god, Stark was leading you to a bedroom. Oh my god, was work starting already?

“Um, I was told this was simply a meeting and that I didn’t have to perform—”

“Oh, Hell. I’m sorry. I’m leading you to the Sergeant’s room because it’s soundproof. You are not fucking him.”

You blew a raspberry, shoulders falling limp. “Oh, yay, good. I didn’t shave.”

“You know what? Forget about Barnes. Be mine instead.”

It was your turn to laugh. Stark knocked on the door three times, rocking on his heels as he waited.

What would the Winter Soldier be like? Was he tough and rugged? Was he quiet and mysterious? Was he gentle and kind? Did he fuck like a God?

The door opened to reveal none of the above.

There weren’t words to describe him. None would suffice.

You were utterly, truly, awestruck. He had blue eyes that looked so damn sad but gleamed a beautiful silver. A nose with the perfect arch that was just a little scarlet on the tip. Lips so pink and precious and hydrated, your leg muscles clenched. Long hair up in a messy bun, conditioned and shiny. And his body…

You were ogling. You were being offensive. You tried focusing on the objects behind him but that only got you looking at his shoulder.

Metal. Metal and strong and shit.

You wanted that metal hand wrapped around your neck.

“Hi,” you squeaked, clearing your throat immediately afterward. “I’m—”

“Renaissance?”

“Ugh, that’s a stage name. I would have chosen Lightening Pussy if they allowed name changes, but Renaissance is all I’ve got to work with.”

The Sergeant blinked, blue eyes looking from you to Stark. “Come in please.”

Scratch everything you said before about this being a bedroom. This was a whole private apartment. His own marble kitchen, living area, a single bathroom, and an extra private bedroom down the hall. It was amazing, but it wasn’t overly personal.

Everything looked like a model home. Impersonal but practical.

“So what do you want to know?”

The Sergeant opened his mouth to speak but Stark beat him to it. “Are you available for the entire month?”

You scoffed, “Are you serious?”

“Dead. Barnes here has been talking about swiping his V-Card since he moved in but he’s got a lot to learn. I would pay you for the entire month, even past the day of the Ball so you don’t lose out on any income that could have come from other dates.”

“I’m—” Barnes cringed, whispering lightly. “I’m not a virgin.”

Stark cleared his throat, his face suddenly going serious. He looked at Barnes like he was trying to apologize, to speak with his eyes. A conversation that needed to be had without you in the room.

So you changed the subject. “I would have to let my other clients know as soon as possible. What dollar range are we talking?”

“Let’s say…” Stark pretended to add in his mind. “One hundred thousand?”

“W-what?”

“Is that too little?” Stark asked, pulling out his phone. “I’m sure Pepper said that amount.”

“One… One hundred thousand?”

“Yeah, see, here,” Stark said, turning his phone and showing you the email. “One hundred thousand dollars, paid upfront, cash or check.”

“One hundred THOUSAND?”

“Is she not getting this? I’m getting this. Are you getting this, Barnes?”

Barnes wiped a frustrated hand down his face, groaning, “She gets it, Stark. She’s just not believing it.”

You usually made rent on time. Sometimes you had to dip into your savings, but that’s what it was there for. One hundred thousand dollars could get you a better apartment. It could pay for travel. It could change your life.

You enjoyed your job. You didn’t mind the odd hours or the sex. You had a choice in it all. But would you like to do something else with your life that allowed you a different kind of freedom?

Absolutely.

“What exactly am I being recruited for?”

“Barnes,” Tony said, bowing his head a little. “Shall I leave you to it?”

Barnes nodded, still not meeting your eye. He was reserved, you could tell that by his demeanor alone. But there was something else about him. Something chaotic but pure, bursting at the seams. No word described him yet because you didn’t know him. You didn’t want to assume. So you left him as he currently was: Reserved.

When the door clicked, Barnes shot back quickly to sit on the couch. Several feet away from you.

“Do I smell?”

Barnes’s eyebrows pulled together. “What?”

“I showered last night and put on perfume, so it’s a problem with your nose. Not my pits.”

He shook his head, blinking as if to clear his mind. “Can I speak, please? And call me Bucky.”

Bucky. Even his name was unique.

“Stark is hosting a Christmas Ball on Christmas Eve and I need a date. But I don’t know anyone, so.”

“Ah, so your only solution was to hire a hooker.”

“I thought you were an escort.”

You shrugged, putting your purse down on one of the nearby bar stools. “When they don’t fuck me, I’m an escort.”

Bucky cringed, but quickly tried to hide it. Did this guy have a problem with consensual sex work? Because if he did then this was going to be a problem. You had no problem telling off the Winter Soldier. You didn’t care how red his ledger was.

“I just… I just need a date. I’m not expecting anything from you. But I would greatly appreciate it if you could accompany me.”

So, he did want you. Just in a whole other context. He was probably just too shy to send you the message himself.

“Alright. So is this like a test run? We ask each other questions and you see if you like me or not?”

Again, his face did some awkward contorting motion. “We don’t have to. I know enough.”

He… What?

“Did you guys run a background check on me?”

“Look at where you are.”

“No, no. For sure, I get that. But I’m supposed to be your date. What if people ask where we met, what our favorite foods are, what positions we like to cuddle in?”

“I’m positive no one will care.”

“Bucky Barnes, I am hot. You are hot. We would make a hot couple. People are always curious about hot couples.” You moved to go sit on the opposite couch, speaking simultaneously. “We should at least create a cover story.”

Then he did the weirdest thing.

He stood up the moment your ass hit the cushion, and went to stand near your abandoned purse.

Did he…Was he okay? Was there something else that needed to be addressed? In this business, you’ve seen it all.

People who have overcome trauma and want to explore the things they used to love. People who were battling trauma and wanted to see what they still liked. People who did not touch you, did not want you touching them, and just wanted company. People who fucked like they needed that release, like they were going to die without it.

“Bucky… I can leave now if you’d like me to. I know I come off strong, but I’ve found that usually calms my clients. Especially if they’re first-timers. But if you don’t want me—”

“I want you.”

You paused mid-air, looking at him. He had uncrossed his arms, as if to physically stop you from leaving the room. But you know that idea was exaggerated. It was probably just a reflex.

“Please stay.”

You sat back down, clearing your throat. “Ask me questions. Get comfortable with me. I promise I will do what’s asked of me and respect you and this place. I’m not trying to pressure you, but I could really use that money.”

There. It was said, it was out in the open. No taking it back now. You didn’t want to guilt trip, but you meant what you said. You wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t asked of you and you would make him and the team look good.

Hell, for that amount of money, you would fuck all the Avengers.

But… No. No fucking was going to occur. Just sweet talking, names exchanged, and whatever else this hunk of a man asked of you.

“I…” Bucky looked to the floor, throwing around your words in his mind. His facial expressions were difficult to read. He looked angry, but it could also be frustration. He looked sad, but it could also be boredom.

“Come back tomorrow,” he continued, finally looking up at you. The blue of his eyes glistened, locking you in place. “Come back tomorrow and we can… We can talk about our favorite colors.”

“I said they’d ask what our favorite foods and cuddling positions were.”

Then his chest rumbled, and the most beautiful quiet laugh spilled from his soft-looking lips. His eyes even adopted some of those lovely crinkles. Aging or laughter or otherwise.

You made him laugh.

Gods almighty, let the whole country know that you made him laugh.  

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Bucky Barnes.”

“See you tomorrow…?”

You repeat your name for him, enunciating the pronunciation and everything. He repeats it back to you, and you melt a little inside. Like marshmallows in rich, hot chocolate.

~

    It was Hell emailing your clients to tell them you would be unavailable for the rest of the month. Usually, December is your most busy month. But you would now be making more than you do in six months combined.

That is, if Bucky Barnes liked you tomorrow.

He was, perhaps, the most beautiful man you had ever seen. And the fact that he didn’t physically want you? Fuck your life.

But you were a professional and not everything was about sex. Companionship was a big deal during the holidays, and you were going to deliver.

You finished heating your tea just as Home Alone started on TV. You snuggled deep into your blanket, wincing when your fuzzy socks lightly shocked you. You warmed up your hands, glanced at the falling snow outside your window, and sighed as the opening credits began to roll.

It was your job to provide companionship.

It just always felt one-sided.

Because you were, sadly, so incredibly lonely.

~

[pynkhues]

do you think stewy used kendall when they were kids? or did they mainly just fuck around until stewy actually grew up and became a "vampire locust fuck." and realistically, do you think stewy is someone actually capable of love or is it just a complicated mixture of nostalgia and self-interest which manifests in "the friend card"

No, I don't actually.

I think that for a few reasons, first because they were likely very young when they met, and second I think that when they met, the disparities in their family wealth and power likely weren't as extreme as they became when they were older.

A lot of this comes down to timeline. I've been working on one for the show overall based off of all the bits of context and firm dates that the show drops on us, which I promise I'll actually post one day in its entirety, haha, but I think there are a few bits of information here that are important to your ask.

Firstly, we know that Kendall and Stewy went to Buckley together, which is likely where and how they met. Buckley is a real place – it's an elite Manhattan private boy's school which starts in kindergarten and goes up to ninth grade, so assuming that they started in kinder together, they likely met when they were only four or five years old.

(The rest is below a cut because this got a bit long!)

Meeting at that age, and particularly in a space of relatively-equal privilege such as an elite private kindergarten, is, I think, a pretty protective space. They're in a bubble together, and it's one where they have the same resources, the same sorts of toys, the same sorts of homes to return to. At that age, in a space of shared wealth, I think they would've felt their differences in other sorts of ways – Kendall had lots of siblings! I think it's kind of implied Stewy's an only child! Kendall has a much older brother with a different mother! They both have parents who are immigrants, but from very, very different backgrounds in terms of race, culture and class! In particular, Arian has spoken about Stewy having a level of generational wealth in his own family, where as Logan's come from poverty and Caroline aristocracy.

Of course, they're not going to be thinking all of those things in that many words at elementary school, but they do inform their characters, and I do tend to think that Stewy's more comfortable around wealth and the wealthy because of that background, while Kendall has inherited some of his dad's nouveau-riche insecurity.

The other big factor is that I think Logan's empire was really still growing when Kendall and Stewy were kids.

In terms of my timeline, I think we can generally guess that Kendall and Stewy were born in 1979/1980. This comes from the fact that s1 is explicitly set in 2018 and each season seems to be around four to six months, meaning Kendall's 40th birthday was likely late 2019 or early 2020. This would put Kendall and Stewy in kindergarten at Buckley in 1984/1985, and 1985 is a year with a significant canon mention. It's the year Logan took out the large debt to expand into cruises and parks.

To me, that's a pretty significant marker of the broader Waystar expansion that saw the company (and Logan) develop their cultural and political monopoly. It was likely that there were some teething years as the business stabilised too, so we can probably assume that business wasn't really booming until - - let's say - - 1988, and how that was received by the broader New York elite aka the other parents at Buckley, is anyone's guess.

My point is, is that while I think Kendall was always a little prince, Stewy was one too, and for most of their childhood and adolescence, they were in a little bubble where everyone had their family kingdoms, and it was likely not until college when they were faced with a greater mix of people from different social classes and background that they really felt their own, and each other's, social power. By that point though, I think they had twelve years of real friendship and history that meant any way they might've used each other was something that was mutual.

And I do think there's real love there between them. Arian has said so himself after all, but I think we see it in the show too where there's really human feelings beneath the business machinations for both of them. There's Stewy's guilt after abstaining from the vote of no confidence, as seen mostly in the Prague episode, but also I think in the way he watched Kendall during the vote, and the next time he was present with Logan confronting Kendall, he put himself between them. Don't forget after all, that Stewy tried to get Kendall out before he pulled him into the deal with Sandy, something that Kendall pretty clearly needs to do.

I think there's been real hurt a lot on both their parts too, and that's all tangled up in that history and that idea of what a future could look like, and I don't know! They both always keep the door open for each other, and I don't think that's just professional. If it was, Stewy's shown he can't really be trusted and Kendall's shown he's unreliable and manic at best, and yet they both seem to keep the other high on their call list, as s3 reiterated again with the trojan horse and the stakeholder vote, and I don't think nostalgia or self-interest is enough to keep that path to one another clear.

Is it a pure love? No, I don't think so, but I do think it's real. Stewy wanted Kendall out of a business he knew was killing him, he offered to be a friend first in a moment that really mattered, he refused to take Kendall's board seat when Logan offered it as a sort of vindictive prize – all of those choices are being driven by something deeper than professional self-interest, and I love it and them in all their complexity and messiness.

[conjurethecosmos]

Honey we need to talk - Steve Rodgers x little!reader

AN:///Hey this is my first fan fiction so please don’t be that hard on me lmao. also i just wanted to say that this isn’t a kink and I don’t write any kink related stuff. PSA age regression is a coping mechanism. If you like my work please like <3 also my asks are open so feel free to ask or suggest stories if you like :)

Word Count: 2k

(Y/N) POV

The surviving Avengers were finally coming back to the tower. Life had already changed just within the hours of the blip, but (Y/N) was alone and did not know about the blip. (Y/N) had been home at the tower safe, protected, from the terror that the avengers were fighting. She knew about Thanos and how he was trying to get all the stones, but the Avengers are the most powerful superheroes ever, they have to win, right? F.R.I.D.A.Y had been keeping watch of the currently sleeping (Y/N) making sure she was okay. The Avenger’s tower was known to be soundproof to keep the bustling sound of the city outside, which is why (Y/N) hadn’t been disturbed. The screams, screeches of cars, and general commotion of the people were not heard by the sleeping girl. F.R.I.D.A.Y did know what had happened when she lost contact with most of the avengers. She did not want to alarm (Y/N) since she had been extremely stressed out and with stress came her age regression. F.R.I.D.A.Y just did not want her to panic without anyone to physically console her since almost everyone she loved was gone. She would just wait till the remaining avengers arrived back to tell her what happened and so she could inevitably regress in the comfort of someone’s arms.

(Y/N) woke up with a yawn surrounded by scattered stuffed animals and ruffled bedsheets. The first thing that she wanted to do was to check her phone to see if Bucky, Steve, or Peter texted her to check up or send a picture of them together happy and coming home. Peter was a regressor like (Y/N) and they would always play together in the toy room conveniently located next to (Y/N)’s room. But, when she tapped on their phone it would not turn on. Even the dead battery screen that would pop up if she did forget to charge her phone the night before didn’t even pop up. So, she decided to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y what was wrong with the phone. “I am sorry (Y/N) I can not seem to turn on your phone, there doesn’t seem to be any issue with it” F.R.I.D.A.Y states. “What do you mean nothing wrong? It won’t even turn on. Ugh I guess I will have to go and get a new phone then.” (Y/N) says. That is when F.R.I.D.A.Y quickly responds “I am sorry to tell you this, but I have been advised to keep you inside for your safety.” She let out a huff and decide that she might as well get dressed. She doesn’t even know when everyone will be back, but the night before Steve called and said that they would all probably be back the following day. All she wanted to do is color and play with stuffies with Peter while Steve sat in the chair in the corner of the shared playroom reading a book.

Steve’s POV

Bucky disintegrated right before his eyes. His best friend, gone, all from a snap. Thanos had disappeared and left Steve, Natasha, Wanda, and Bruce enraged, however, what could they do. The flight back was solemn and quiet. No one dared to cry in front of each other despite the trauma accumulated today, save for Nat who sat quietly crying. Steve only looked forward to seeing his favorite person, (Y/N), which he cared for most of the time due to her tendency to regress when he is with her. He did not mind at all, in fact his caring personality just made him gravitate more towards being (Y/N)’s caregiver. His brain was going a mile a minute just thinking of how to tell (Y/N) that half the population was gone, including some people she loved so much. The avengers were informed by F.R.I.D.A.Y which avenger had sadly been blipped. That only caused the already somber mood to become worse. Steve just sat there staring at the many buttons on planes’ cockpit thinking about how (Y/N) would react to the news of Peter being gone. He was her only little friend, he was always there for her when she was having a hard day and needed to regress. They were best friends, just like Bucky and I. ‘I think I will just tell her as an adult and then take care of her if she needs to regress’ Steve thought. They then eventually started descending onto the landing pad on top of the tower.

(Y/N)’s POV

It was now about 8 pm. You kept youself occupied by cleaning since oddly enough the usual cleaner never showed up.You thought that it was weird, but assumed that the cleaner may have had the day off or something. The T.V. was also broken, like your phone it wouldn’t turn on. You could not watch the news or a movie, so you were pretty bored the whole day.  You were pulled out of your boring thoughts when you heard keys enter the lock on the front door. Steve entered first looking panicked as he looked around to see if you were there, alive. You smiled at him and gave him a big hug, which caused him to hug you tighter almost as if you would disappear right before him. Immediately, you knew it was a hard mission. I mean they were gone for weeks so it had to be hard. However, He had a look on his face that you had never seen before. “Honey we need to talk” Steve sighed. They both walked into your bedroom to talk in private. You sat down on your bed hugging your stuffed purple fluffy bunny that was won by Bucky at a fair one year. Steve got the chair by your desk and moved it to be in front of you and then sat. “So, I am sure you are wondering what happened today?” Steve asked. “Yeah kinda. I haven’t heard anything since my phone is broken and the T.V. was off” you huffed. “Sweetie there really isn’t a good way of putting this...” he hesitated for a second but then started talking again looking at you straight in the eyes, “So Thanos got all the stones and snapped his finger which caused half the population to disappear.” You then started hugging your bunny as he continued to explain which avengers were gone. Tears were already starting to spill as you shut your eyes tightly. When he mentioned that peter was gone that is when you let out a loud pained cry. Steve had to hug you, to comfort his princess. He was not sure if he should have told you that a ton of people were gone, but you needed to know. If he didn’t and you would have asked about Peter, it would probably cause him to burst into tears. You started to regress, he could tell because you started sobbing and rocking. He knew that he needed to comfort you better than just hugging you so he decided that distracting you might be better. “Princess, I know you are sad about what I told you, but I just want you to know I am here for you.” Steve calmly says. “Bu-But I wan Pete n buck” (Y/N) blubbered. “I know baby, you can cry as much as you want,” He says while placing your head on his chest. Tears stain his shirt. He was tempted to cry with you, but he knew he needed to save his tears for when he was alone. Now was the time for his princess to grieve. After you crying for about twenty-five minutes Steve grabbed your paci so you could sleep. He could tell you had regressed. He placed you on your bed to lay down with your favorite bunny stuffie in your arms. Steve decided to sleep in the chair for the night just to watch over you in case you woke in the middle of the night in need of some comfort. He sat there staring at your sleeping form silently sobbing just because of all the stress of the day. It just hit him like a wave, but he eventually fell asleep. You woke up at 2 am to use the bathroom. You looked around the nightlight lit room to find Steve passed out in a chair located in the corner of the room. You slowly walked over, stuffie in hand, to wake the superhero up. You could not go to the bathroom by yourself since she was scared Thanos would be outside her door. Not even the bravest stuffie you owned could calm your fears. You poked Steve’s thigh to wake him up. Steve looked around in a panic only to see your puffy face. “Hey doll, what does my little princess need?” he asks. “I need to go potty, but I scared to go alone...” You shyly stated. “That’s okay, come on baby.” He escorts you to the bathroom and back. “Um Stevie, could you pwease cuddle me to sleep. I scared to sleep myself?” You sheepishly ask. ”Of course my baby.”

The next morning

You had woken up small. You could only speak like a three-year-old. That was okay with Steve though because he loved caring for you. He carried you into the living room and went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and you a sippy cup with strawberry milk with a plate of mini pancakes. He turned on your favorite Disney movie while he cooked for you. Caring for you was a needed distraction. He needed to feel like he was making a difference and obviously, the events of the previous day made him feel like all his efforts of protecting America or the Earth were all for nothing. But, taking care of you was rewarding and therapeutic. “Stevie, thanks for the pancakes, dis milk is so good too!” (Y/N) exclaimed with a cute little smile. “Aw, you’re so welcome, sweetie.”

5 years later

Time had passed, (Y/N) regressed more often than ever. She was rarely ever her adult self. Thankfully Steve had set up a group talk therapy session with some survivors which (Y/N) joined every time they had a meeting. She would only talk about missing Peter while hugging a stuffie she would bring. The group members never judged her though since they all had their own coping mechanisms if they had any. She was usually really shy in front of the group since mentally she was three and really did not have that much to say in front of the strangers.

Eventually, Bruce hatched an idea to bring everyone back, which caused you to be alone again. You just stayed in the playroom alone playing with barbies or watching a movie. Steve would call you from time to time to check up on you, luckily F.R.I.D.A.Y was a great caretaker and gave you your basic needs. The Avengers were now successful in bringing everyone back. Sadly, Tony had passed away though. You attended his funeral with Steve at your side. You still hadn’t seen Peter yet but did not want to interrupt his grieving since Tony was his main caregiver and mentor. Tony was the only father figure he had and he was just gone. Steve decided it would be best to have you pick a stuffed animal at the store for Peter to keep during this hard time. You decided on a red bear with a gold ribbon on his neck. Steve had the red bear in his hands ready to gift to Peter, while you had a new Pink bear with a white bow around its neck that you named Poppy. Once the funeral was done Steve held your hand to walk up to Peter. He looked so small and in need of someone to care for him. Steve then spoke, “Peter, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know how you feel and if you need (Y/N) or me, don’t hesitate. (Y/N) thought that she should get you this special bear for you to give you comfort.” He handed Peter the red bear and Peter just hugged it close. Steve knew that he was going to have to take care of Peter and (Y/N) from now on, but he was ready for it. He loved you both dearly. “I hope you like the bear Peter, I thought you would like him since he’s your favorite color. See I have a pink one like yours, we’re twins!” You said trying to distract Peter. Peter rarely ever spoke when he was little, and this wasn’t any different. He eventually accepted your gift with a tight hug as his tears fell on your shoulder. 

Time skip: a couple of months

Peter eventually moved into the tower and got a room next to yours. Steve now had two regressors to take care of now, but at least he had the aid of Bucky who would just baby sit. You were currently in your room putting on one of Steves old shirts with black leggings. His shirts made you feel even smaller since it was so baggy. Steve then quietly knocked on your door for permission to come in. “Yes?” you asked. Steve then opened the door and stepped in with his hand in Peters. Peter had a smile on his face for probably the first time in months. You smiled back and then turned to face Steve who obviously wanted to ask you something. “Are you little right now (Y/N) or are you big because Pete wants to play blocks with you?” Steve asks. You beam and excitedly say, “I wan play blocks! Pete can we make a town wif da blocks and cars and my dollys?” This just caused Peter to run and hug you. You two ran to the next room to play together. Storage containers were quickly opened and blocks were scattered to begin construction on the town. Steve watched you two play from the door with a smile on his face. 

I am sorry this story was everywhere 

[abundanceofnots]

a little (just under 2k) playground scene with Lip and Ian as dads, as per @pink--and--white's request. i apologize to all actual parents in advance.

“How the fuck did we get here?” Lip asks through a huff of incredulous laughter.

Ian shades his eyes from the sun, turning to his older brother with a look of mock concern. “Your memory that bad already, old man? We drove here.”

It earns him a stinging smack on his thigh.

“Asshole,” Lip retorts back. “You know what I mean.”

Ian’s eyes flit back to the scene before them. “Yeah, I do,” he confirms a beat later, his voice more earnest this time.

This, by far, isn’t a new feeling. Lip’s had the exact same thought pass through his mind countless times in recent years, always in a momentary flash of warmth that filled up his whole chest. It happens all the more often now over the most mundane shit, though.

The first time was, probably, when Freddie was born. Then Ian got married, and Al came along, and Liam got to a good school—and after that followed every other quiet (not literally) evening when the whole family gathered up in the kitchen.

In those instants, Lip would stall himself for just a second, getting lost in the overwhelming sounds and visuals, and think, what the fuck.

He’s getting soft. That’s it, most likely. He’s getting soft and sentimental, going on with his extremely unexceptional life, wondering how in the hell did a piece of shit like himself get so lucky, and slowly becomes someone he’d gladly punch in the face not too long ago.

It hits him hard again, this strange sense of pride and wonder, as he sits next to his baby brother on a bench overlooking a kids’ playground.

This one’s the real deal. Everything here is child-proof and clean, with no syringe or dogshit in sight. Frank or some random homeless guy aren’t lying in a drunken coma by the swing sets. There’s not even one bullet hole in the slide. And maybe it’s not so hard to admit that this is actually pretty nice. That this is them now.

Still, the whole thing is, without a doubt, totally ridiculous. Here they are, Lip and Ian—the college dropout and the ex-con, the true sons of the South Side—sneakily munching on their kids’ packed afternoon snacks.

“Dumb luck, I guess,” Ian answers Lip’s question after some musing and takes a sip from Toe’s pink-colored juice box.

Lip hmms before he bites into a baby carrot. “For us, or them?”

“For us. Definitely.”

They’re just two regular dads who carry around lunchboxes and always have a wet wipe or a pack of tissues at hand, ready to blow noses and wipe off residue chocolate from chins and hands. There aren’t enough words in the English language that would describe how incredibly ridiculous this is, because once upon a time, not too long ago, still, Ian wore a jumpsuit with Dav on the nametag and believed this was it for him, and Lip thought the only way to get through life was by drinking himself through the ordeal.

How the fuck did they get here?

“Freddie! Hey, Freddie!” Lip calls out to his oldest, who hangs upside down from the monkey bars, effectively ignoring him. “Fred!” he tries again with an annoyed sigh, and the boy finally remembers how his ears work. “Can you help your cousin on the slide?”

“Okay!”

With a swift motion, Freddie pulls himself up again to grab hold of a bar, unhooking his knees in the process, and jumps down into the sand with practiced ease. He then immediately gets into a run, coming behind the red-headed girl in black overalls who’s been trying to climb the gentle ramp on her own.

“What was that about?” Ian inquires amusedly.

“Early puberty, I think. He doesn’t want us to call him Freddie anymore. It’s Fred. No Fredster, no Fredtastic, definitely no Fredosaurus. Just Fred. Apparently, I went to bed, and my son turned into a middle-aged man overnight.”

“Oof. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. The next thing I know, he’s gonna get a neck tattoo and his first STI. Al, buddy!” His younger son Alvin, at least, seems to have no trouble with hearing. “You need help? Want me to push you?”

“No, I’m good!” the blond kid shouts back from the swing, and to prove his point, he pushes himself harder off the ground to gain momentum.

Lip scratches his forehead. “They don’t need me anymore,” he comments darkly. “I am officially a bother.”

“You’ve always been a bother,” Ian notes before he stuffs his mouth full of grapes. “Come on, Lip. Freddie’s eight. He’s not exactly packing his bags to leave home. He’s still very much a daddy’s boy.”

“I don’t know, man. When I remember what I was already doing when I was his age….”

“Yeah, but that’s different. They’re not like us. They don’t need to be, and that’s a good thing.”

Ian’s right, but the concept of normal as something desirable, something he doesn’t necessarily need to rebel against, is something Lip may never fully come to grasps with. And neither does Ian, even if he says otherwise.

“We might be getting a dog,” Lip says after a while, pausing before he sinks his teeth into a cheese stick.

“No way!” Ian smirks at him. “Look at you, perfect American family and shit.”

Lip snorts at that. He and Tami are pretty damn far from perfect. “You not thinking about getting a pet? A friendly rottweiler for Mickey, perhaps?”

“No. First, I gotta talk him into having another kid.”

That takes Lip by surprise. He knows Ian absolutely adores his little girl, his mini ginger twin that everyone got to call Toe, short for Tomato, but he also knows the whole story behind how she came to be.

“Oh, yeah? You’d like another?”

“Yeah,” Ian admits, and as his eyes drop to his lap where his fingers fiddle with a paper straw, Lip realizes he sounds ashamed about it.

“Not as easy as poking holes in condoms with you guys, huh?” he jokes to release the sudden tension.

“Hah. No.”

“You told Mickey yet?”

Meeting his brother’s eyes again, Ian gives a noncommittal shrug. “I hinted.”

From experience, Lip knows that hinting in Ian’s case almost exclusively means Mickey is fully aware of his intentions and just chooses to ignore them before Ian confronts him head-on.

“Hopefully, you’ll have another girl,” he tells Ian after a quiet moment filled with children’s high-pitched screams and the steady screeching of a swing set. “It’s a lot more physical with boys. These two are already fighting like we used to.”

“Doesn’t really matter when you’re raising a Milkovich,” Ian remarks before yelling: “Hey, Toe? You wanna have a sip of your juice for me?”

The girl waves at them eagerly as she slides down the bendy chute. Getting to a run right as her feet touch the ground, she comes to a jolty halt in front of them, taking a good, hard look at the juice box as if only now realizing what’s expected of her.

“No, thank you,” Toe then peeps and skips off again.

“Polite,” Lip appraises.

Ian gives a low chuckle. “Fuckin’ weird, huh?”

“With Mickey as her dad? A little.”

They watch the kids play for a few minutes. Ian offers to exchange a cheese stick for three grapes, and Lip negotiates it up to five before agreeing.

“You think he’d be against it? Having another kid?” he asks Ian mid-chew.

“I mean, I wouldn’t blame him, after all the shit with Terry. Maybe with a second kid, he’d think there’d be twice the damage he could do. Dunno,” Ian surmises uncertainly. “I know how hard it was for him to even want a kid, and I get why he was scared. Don’t get me wrong, I’m shitting myself every day when I think of the ways I could fuck this up. But he’s a great dad. You saw him with Toe. She’s obsessed with him. The way she laughs at everything he says makes you think he invented comedy or something.”

Lip’s aware that their conversation turned sort of serious once again, but he can’t help not breaking into a smile. “Sounds like you’re kinda jealous of your husband there, Ian.”

“Oh, I hate his guts,” his brother confirms, only partially kidding. “I’m a fun dad, too, you know.” As if on cue, a figure coming their way catches his attention, and Ian nods to where his daughter’s playing, telling Lip: “Okay, watch this.”

Mickey gestures at Freddie with a finger to his lips, coming around the slide just in time to catch his daughter in his arms with a victorious roar.

“Daddy!” Toe announces the good news to everyone around with a loud squeal.

Ian gives his brother a pointed look.

“Fuck, man,” Lip huffs with mock seriousness. “You tellin’ me she loves her dad? What a nightmare.”

“Yo, lunch ladies.” Mickey suddenly approaches them with Toe at his hip. “How ’bout less chit-chatting and more kid-watching? Think I’d remember if I left my kid with a giant fuckin’ bruise on her forehead this morning.”

“Yeah. She’s had a bit of a scuffle with Alvin earlier,” Ian says, reaching out to soothingly rub Toe’s calf as if said scuffle and the tears it brought weren’t already long forgotten.

“The hell’s he doin’ fightin’ someone half his size?!”

“She started it!” Lip counters weakly.

“Okay.” Mickey’s mouth hangs open for a minute before he finds his figurative footing again. “I guess she had her reasons for that. And you should teach your kids to not fight dirty.”

“I go play now,” Toe informs him then, putting a stop to his rant and his bad mood in one go.

“Yeah! You do that!” Mickey replies as he puts her down, matching her level of enthusiasm. She heads for the extensive pirate-ship-like construction this time, watchful cousin Freddie already on her heels, and Mickey drops heavily next to his husband, letting out a prolonged groan into his hands.

“Tough day?” Ian asks needlessly.

“Igor’s a fuckin’ idiot.”

“Told you he was.”

“And I agree, so drop it, a’ight? Hey, by the way.”

“Hey,” Ian echoes before they exchange a quick kiss.

Mickey notices the juice in his hands then and perks up. “That raspberry?” he checks after he’s already snagged the box for himself, taking loud slurps from it to get every last drop. He finishes off with a belch. “Fuckin’ love raspberry.”

Lip finds that anything he’d say at that moment would only spoil the natural fucking beauty of it, so he just appreciates with a private snicker.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Toe yells from the top of one of the pirate ship’s smaller slides. “Come play!”

Mickey pats at Ian’s thigh. “That’s on you, man. I’m beat.”

Putting his fun-dad face on, Ian heaves himself up without a complaint. “Hey, jellybean! Do you think your dad can fit on the slide, too?”

Toe shakes her head vehemently, giggling as she watches Ian jog toward her. “No, daddy! No! No!”

“What, you don’t think I can?” Ian asks again, halfway through his climb up on the board. “Well, take off your socks now because they might get blown off! I’mma fit!”

“Daddy!” Toe howls with laughter as he bumps his head on one of the low railings.

Beside Lip, Mickey imitates the reaction, both his hand and the phone he’s holding with it to record a video visibly shaking. When he notices Lip staring, his grin falters a little.

“These two jokers,” Mickey complains after he ends the recording. “She always laughs at everything he does like he invented comedy or some shit.”

Lip answers with a knowing smile, his chest feeling full of warmth.

Seriously, how the fuck did they get here?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jack Bass x Younger!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Bass's.

Notes:

I have no idea when this is supposed to be set. Just go with it.

I have two things to say about Jack in this gif, though. 1. Does he not know how to carry a tray. And 2. I love this statement, here. Its like 'Bart's Dead, Chuck. I can barely contain my joy, Chuck. Its taking all my willpower, Chuck, to keep a monotonous expression. Also Chuck I am carrying a tray, do you see this?'

Plot: Bart Bass decides to be his creepy fucking self (Not that Jack is exponentially better in any way but whatever) towards you, Chuck's best friend- but thankfully, Jack accidentally walks in on the scene and gives you a get out of jail free card.

Good old 'lesser of two evils' shit. I love stuff like that.

Warnings: BART BASS being predatory, and a bit of age difference (You and Jack. I'm going by actors ages though so there's only a, like, 11 year age gap between him and Chuck which is not that bad if you ask me). Sexual references.

~~~

Chuck looks from his phone, that's flashing Blairs name, to you and your big, wide eyes and lips mouthing 'Don't you dare', then to his father quietly tapping away on his phone on the couch a few feet away... then back at his phone.

"Charles- " You hiss, prepared to threaten his very existence but he cuts you off first- slipping off the bar stool beside you and heading for the hallway.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Why am I friends with him again!? You think, but stay quiet and hope that Bart doesn't realise that you're back there despite having said hello to you earlier when he came in. You think, if you stay quiet like a mouse, he will forget your existence and keep texting until Chuck gets back- although, who knows how long he and Blair can go on for.

Depends what its about, honestly. If its about revenge or espionage... well, the conversation could last quite some time.

Should I just leave?

The impulse to run away is a strong one, as you sit there with your cheeks heating up and you start to feel nauseated. You never liked Bart Bass, from the moment you met him. Before that, actually. You had heard Chuck talking about him to Nate before you even became friends with them, and none of what you heard was good. And then you did meet him, one day when Chuck invited you over to do a school project. Or 'school project' as he so obnoxiously put it. You really did end up just doing a school project, though. Hence your friendship nowadays. Bart was creepy towards you even then, at 16 with terribly died hair and the wrong eyeshadow.

You've been very careful since then to never be alone with him like this. You would talk to him at parties if you were forced to, say hello to him when Chuck had you at his place and the man walked by, but that is the extent of your communication with the creep. Always, always, someone would be around. Chuck, mostly. But also staff, or Nate, or random fundraiser ladies, or Jack who Chuck the bastard never left alone with all willy-nilly like this, unfortunately, or Lily, or literally anyone else possible on the earth.

You've even hidden away in the men's bathroom, which is disgusting no matter how expensive the restaurant, with Nate before to get away from this man when Chuck once ditched you both at a dinner with him. And that's the story of how you got your first kiss, too, and it was from Nate Archibald. Hell yes.

That's how much this man makes you want to grab your bag and flee.

But you don't. You stay glued to your seat, super still, listening only to the tap-tap-tapping noises that Bart makes and the bump-bump-bump noises your heart is making right into your throbbing ears.

Until it stops.

Not the bump-bump-bumping, oh no. The tapping. And, nightmarishly, it's replaced by a groan and footsteps coming towards your turned back.

"Y/N," As soon as he says your name, his hands fall on your your shoulders and you literally jump under his touch. Shit- Shit- Fuck- what's happening- "I've been meaning to speak with you recently but Chuck- ah. Well you know him. He refused to share with me your telephone number. But I knew you'd turn up here at some point, so not to worry."

"Uh... right." You cant even force yourself to be your normal, cheery, polite self in this position. You just want him to get. off. of. you.

"Did you want a drink?" He asks, in that possibly cheery (But only because its slightly louder then his usual husk level) but mostly still scary voice he uses to convey emotion, letting go of you thankfully and rounding to the other side of the bar. You shake your head, though. He raises his brows, picking out a scotch for himself. "You don't drink? Shocking, seeing as you're friends with my son."

Oh I drink. You think, giving him a shrug. Just not in situations like this one. Also, what must he think of Chuck? Jesus Christ. For sure, your boy likes debauchery but what's wrong with that?

"Well, I like that." Bart pauses before pouring his drink, to appreciate you. "Mature."

Damn it. It makes your skin absolutely crawl.

"So... " You take a deep breath, tucking your hair back behind your ears rather then ruffling it back like you usually would to get it out of your face- lest that be recognised as some kind of extremely subtle form of flirting. God, fear makes you think weird things. "What did you want to discuss?"

"Oh- Just, your future. Where are you going to school? Will you be sticking close to us?"

Us? US? No, I'll be far far away, from you.

You don't really want to tell Bart where you're going to be going to school, because in your fear addled brain you know that that will just lead to 'Which campus?', or 'Where will you be staying?' and you really don't want it to go there.

You're just taking another, shakier deep breath, when the front door of the apartment opens and shuts loudly and set of feet trample down the hallway towards you. Immediately total relief plashes over you and you wipe your face. Oh, thank god.

Jack Bass appears in the doorway to the living room, looking as put-together yet somehow simultaneously still totally relaxed, as always, and forces aa polite smile onto his handsome face. "Brother. Y/N? Its good to see you."

You have no idea. "Good to see you too Jack. Uh- Chuck's in the bathroom."

"Thanks. For that... enlightening, information, Y/N. I needed that." You cheeks flare up in embarrassment, but ultimately you just roll your eyes as Jack flashes you a subtle wink, and turns promptly to his - much, - older brother. "Bart."

The older brother in question looks less then pleased at his baby brothers appearance in his home. Right now. And he possibly isn't thrilled about that little wink, either. Like you two are in on some kind of joke together. "Jack... What are you doing here?"

"Simmer down, bro. Just visiting." Even you know that that excuse is weak, but anything that comes out Jack's own monotonous voice right now is blessed where you're concerned so you certainly don't say anything. Or make any faces, which would be more appropriate. "Y/N, I don't think Bart-man here's too happy about my presence." Hm, no. You'd have to agree with that observation- not that you've looked up at Bart since Jack came in. You wont risk it. Jack glides through the room with the practised grace of a man who's lived 3 quarters of his life in suits and the other, happier quarter in board shorts, and ends up right next to your chair, an arm resting on the bench in front of you.

If you weren't already so nervous about Bart, you would blush about Jack.

"At least tell me you're glad to see me."

You grin, which is less forced then you thought it would be prior to trying it. Damn, he's good. You think, realising he just swepped in here and made you comfortable in less then 50 words. "Always, 'Uncle Jack'."

"Oh," He groans, like it physically pained him to hear you tease him like that. A tiny smirk even slips through his usually emotionless - well, not emotionless. He has one standing colour, that being sly, - stone statue of a face. "'Uncle Jack'- Please, stop. I'm barely a decade older then you."

That's enough to make anything else possible, inappropriate. Unfortunately. "Hey, I said I'm glad to see you." You wink, a bit sly yourself. "Count your blessings."

His grin widens a bit, like the dangerously charming Cheshire cat-type that he is. Genes that Chuck inherited, clearly, if his track record with girls say anything at all, but that Bart obviously missed out on. "You've got a point."

"She's a remarkable young woman." Bart pipes up, making your stomach tie itself up in knots again, and you immediately revert your gaze to your lap. Remarkable young woman... you want to barf. "Who, I was actually having a conversation with before you burst in here, unannounced." He takes a slow sip of his drink, then mutters. "And uninvited."

"Well that's great." Jack straightens up, clapping his hands together and finally showing his teeth in a smile. They're really freaken white, compared to his skin, deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun. "A visit would be kinda uncomfortable without a conversation; I'll join. I can converse with the best of 'em, Bart. I assure you."

"It was private." The old man sneers, thinking that he's got the upper hand on Jack, and all you can do is hope to god that he's wrong.

Jack turns his head back to look at you, and you meet his gaze tentatively. Your eyes scream, 'Please don't leave me alone with that guy'. He promptly looks back to Bart. "Well Bart why don't we ask the lady in the room what she wants? We are gentlemen here aren't we?" Then Jack makes a face, all crumpled up and unsure, for a moment. "Err. Well actually... 'gentleman' might be a bold faced lie. We'll ask anyway. Y/N! Do you mind if I weigh in here?"

"Not at all." You say quickly, flashing a tiny, thankful smile. He gives you another wink- this time actually subtle. So Bart didn't see it. Your smile gets a little bit bigger, relaxing. He's got you.

"Great." You watch him pull out the stool beside you, that Chuck - who has still not returned from his phone call with Blair. You assume some, likely cruel vengeance must be involved. Possibly involving that Humphrey guy, - had vacated and settles down in it. He then sets his arms firmly on the bench and looks up attentively at Bart, not breaking eye contact with him. Boy these Bass's like their stare downs. "So?" He prompts, expectantly. And a little arrogantly- a Bass speciality that you truly don't mind at all. "What's on the agenda, today?"

Bart glares heatedly, back.

~

Throughout the awkward discussion between the three of you, which your good friend Chuck has yet to return to discover - at this point you're resigned to him having climbed out the window and scaled the building probably, - , Jack constantly, skilfully changes the subject for you whenever Bart rears to close to somewhere uncomfortable. He makes jokes that make you laugh, he nudges you with his elbow at times - but never touches you any more then that, although you honestly wouldn't mind it if he did, - and takes the attention off you a lot. At times you truly thought you saw steam come out of Bart's ears.

When finally Bart gives up and excuses himself, saying he as an early dinner with Lily, you feel exhausted and relieved. After the door swings shut behind him, you cover your face with your hands and deeply sigh.

"So, what was that about? You looked like a trapped mouse. I recognise that look, I invented that look." You pull back slightly from your hands and glance over at him, to see him thoughtful for a moment. "Well, not by making it. By... causing... it... Either way, it was not good." He shakes his head, taking a sip of his own drink - scotch, - that he made Bart pour for him; Raising his eyebrows at you for an explanation over the rim of the glass.

Jack's always been great, like this. Even when he was horrible, he was the lesser of two evils between him and Bart. Good for a laugh and quality eye candy in a pinch- and that counts for a hell of a lot when it comes to surviving Bart Bass and the Upper East Side. And he had the power and pull of an adult, but knew what the hell was going on like one of you.

So he always made you feel at ease.

You ruffle your hair back, and sigh, straightening your back finally from their hunched over position they live in when you're uncomfortable and pushing back your shoulders. "He was just, saying some weird stuff... and Chuck disappeared to talk to Blair." At that, Jack nods in total understanding. Like ah, yeah. Got ya. Finally, you shrug. "He just makes me really uncomfortable. No offence, but I hate your brother."

As you watch Jack's eyes don't even flicker; He's totally on board with what you've said. Then he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp. "Ahh- I hate him too."

"As do we all." Chuck's voice suddenly pops up, as he appears in the doorway like Jack had earlier. You have to practice some serious self control so as to not laugh, at Chuck so coincidentally turning up again at the perfect moment to proclaim his hatred for his father. Jack grins back at Chuck coldly, nodding. Yeah. "Anyway, Y/N, I apologise but I'll be having to abandon you. Blair's waiting for me at her, empty, apartment." He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, in perfect Chuck Bass fashion, and you roll your eyes, grinning. Jack smirks. "But you're welcome to stick around a while and help yourself to the amenities All on my tab, of course. Good to see you again, Jack." Then he pockets his phone and heads toward the door. The second Bass of the day leaves the building.

"Bye, nephew!" Jack waives as the elevator doors close behind Chuck then swiftly turns around back to you, to which you raise your eyebrows. "So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno." Shrugging you grin and turn your stool to angle your legs towards Jack. "When Chuck says those magical words 'All on my tab'," Those words, oh; You speak them with just as much raw, breathy sexual arousal as the man himself would. As the words demand. 'All on my tab'. Good lord, sex if they were words. "I tend to take advantage."

"An easy girl to please; That's what I like to see." Your cheeks flame up at those words out of Jack's mouth as he turns to look down at the room service menu. Yes, Jack Bass has toed the line, between platonic and flirtatious since the very moment you met the man... but that seemed a little bit more then toeing the line.

And you get a far different reaction to him doing it then you do the other Bass brother.

You don't even really mind the implications of his words.

"You're staying back with me?" You ask, feeling hopeful at the idea.

"Yeah well, I cant in, uh, good conscience," He makes a bit of a show to you, of pressing his hand to his chest totally earnestly as those words 'good conscience' come out of his mouth. "leave you here unguarded in case Bart comes back, can I? Besides, the way you said 'All on my tab'- man, you could sell moonshine at an AA meeting with that voice."

"Ha," You laugh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. "Well, thanks."

"Oh. Don't thank me. You're just using what uh, your mama gave you. I actually encourage you totally, to do that more often- "

"No!" You exclaim, sighing in exasperation; But there is still a smile on your face you cant seem to shake. "For not leaving, today. When you walked in. It would've sucked if you had, not that I would've blamed you at all."

"Hey, just call me your knight in shining armour." He doesn't look up from the menu, flicking through it. Then turns to you with one of those beach boy/politician, toothless grins of his. "Besides you were automatically, my favourite person in the apartment. I mean, anyone with... uhhh- different, appendages to what I have, instantly gets a one-way ticket access to my rare bouts of chivalry. Now come over here, pick out what you want off here."

You just gape at him and that comment, making him stifle a laugh and return to the menu himself.

Bass's.

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[nctsjiho]

Shocking Truth Behind NCT JiHo’s Hiatus Revealed + SM Official Statement And Apology

July 24, 2021 By J. Mitchel (K!Today)

After an internal investigation of SM Entertainments financial reports, specifically those regarding NCT, the likely reason of JiHo’s hiatus from April to May of this year, has been revealed. The reason why this information, which I’ll be explaining in a bit, is only deemed “likely”, is because anonymous sources said this is only “part of a bigger problem”. However, what I’ll be diving into in a second is fully factual (unless stated otherwise), backed up by plenty of evidence, and I can conclude that this has been a driving factor of JiHo’s hiatus.

Visas, Working As A Minor And Bing A Foreigner Working In The Idol Industry

For those who aren’t aware, Geovanna Dubois, otherwise known as Lim Jiho, and debuted as JiHo, moved to Korea in late 2014. At that time she was only 13, turning 14 soon in international age, which made her a minor. Because her family stayed back in France, where she lived prior to becoming a trainee, she had to be assigned a guardian.

This guardian was an employee at SM Entertainment who was not particularly close to JiHo; it was stated that:

“(the guardian) was only in charge of legal affairs regarding JiHo and everything else: housing, medical needs, schooling, leisure and so on, was taken care of by other employees and managers - who kept in contact with JiHo’s family - until she was no longer a minor”.

However it was revealed that JiHo’s guardian had not taken care of their part of taking care of JiHo. For a total of 6 months, they did not provide JiHo with the right Visa (this does not include failing to renew her Visa when renewal was due). For a total of 4 months - beknown to managers and other employees - they violated the rules under the Child Labour Laws in Korea. And for her whole career up until April of 2021 they did not provide her with her fair earnings she deserved (more on this later).

Until 2020 all of this went unnoticed by the higher ups in SM Entertainment. An ex employee, who wanted to stay anonymous stated:

“There was always so much secrecy going on in the office. I felt insanely guilty towards JiHo because she wasn’t given fair treatment behind the scenes. Employees would fake reports about the state of JiHo’s legal documents. I thought it would all stop when she debuted, but things continued as they were.

… They withheld money from JiHo’s wage to pay off debt caused by the mistakes the employees made. One day the department got a 10,000,000.00 Korean won (around 8,500 USD) fine for violating Child Labour Laws. Instead of going to the boss, employees would take money from JiHo’s bank account - the guardian had full access to it - or would write it off on JiHo’s trainee debt. Something like this shouldn’t happen in such a big company as SM.”

If you thought this was bad, that was only just the tip of the iceberg.

Unfair Pay

As mentioned before, part of JiHo’s hard earned money would go to paying of debt and fines, but that’s not all.

JiHo is one of NCT’s rappers. But did you know she also participated in writing lyrics and sometimes help in arranging songs? Especially for Japanese releases. For most of her work she did not get credited, but apparently this was because of the percentage of her input being “too low”.

Whether this is a fair reason or not is not something I can comment on. In my small amount of research in this area I have found that not everyone gets paid the same just because they are credited in a song. And even if I find that logical, by that statement I would assume that JiHo should have been credited for every song she participated in.

However, that’s where I found out the reason as to why she might not have been credited for every song she worked on.

Comparing her with other members of NCT who have put in similar amounts of work into writing, producing, arranging music, as well as overall performing, making public appearances, modelling and other schedules, taking in account the money employees took away for debt, JiHo on average would receive only 80,6% of what her colleagues would earn.

Keeping that in mind, I suspect that if they would’ve credited her for every song, it would’ve been more obvious that she didn’t receive the payment she deserved whenever this news would come out. However if that was the reason behind this, they failed, because almost every source who is covering this news has at least mentioned this.

Today’s Reality

Before we go into SM Entertainment’s official statement and apology (yes I was also surprised by this), let’s talk about how these events have affected JiHo.

Of course we don’t know all the small details, and according to the previous anonymous ex employee there have been some problems with an ex manager, but in the big picture JiHo did not get affected by these past events on a day to day basis. Having said that, one thing does break my heart in this whole story. The same ex employee also stated that:

“While all this was going on, one of the managers - or maybe it was the guardian themselves - contacted JiHo’s family. They told them lies so that they would not ask JiHo to go visit them back home. Since her Visa wasn’t always okay, it might have caused problems once she left Korea. They also told her family it might be best for them not to visit JiHo because she was ‘doing fine’ and them visiting would ‘cause a distraction’. I once had JiHo’s mother on the phone, she seems like a sweet lady, who was heartbroken not being able to see her daughter for years, being under the impression that visiting her daughter would be a burden to her and her career.”

I hope that with everything that I’ve shared here, you can understand the severity of these events. Knowing that this is only a small percentage of the whole situation makes me scared to hear what else was going on. But let’s hope that things look better for JiHo’s future.

SM Entertainment’s statement

“This is SM Entertainment.

Earlier today, documents and numbers surfaced that we weren’t eager to show to the public. These documents revealed things that you weren’t meant to see either. For the longest time, we, the higher ups in SM Entertainment, were unaware of what was going on behind the scenes. That’s our mistake, and we want to own up to it now.

We should have been more thorough. We should have been more involved. But as we were tricked into thinking everything was fine, we decided to put faith in our employees and let them operate as they were.

Even though we felt cheated and tricked, we were not the real victims here. Lim Jiho, one of our idols, is the one who got tricked the most.

For the years we’ve known her she has grown incredibly much. She’s one of our most hardworking idols. She’s skilled in everything she does. She’s an inspiring and friendly soul and we, SM Entertainment, are extremely honoured to have her as one of our idols.

We are sorry to JiHo, to her family, her friends and her fans for all the discomfort, uncertainty and pain we have caused them. A simple sorry isn’t enough and that’s why we have decided to take some actions.

For JiHo: As you are aware, JiHo is now also under Esteem. The statement we have issued before still stands. We will work together with Esteem to provide JiHo with all the opportunities she deserves so she is able to grow in an even more talented and loved artist.

We will not only take accountability for the financial injury JiHo suffered, but also will try our best to put her emotional and mental health first. Many of these things we have and will continue to discuss with JiHo privately. She will, if desired, reach out to fans and friends on her own accord to talk about her side of things. So to respect her privacy we won’t go further into detail.

For family and friends: We are incredibly sorry towards JiHo’s personal and private relationships to which we caused damage. From the many foreign artist we have under our label, we know that homesickness and missing friends and family is natural. We did not mean to put even more of a strain on her relationships. Again we want to respect the privacy of everyone who is involved, so we will be reaching out to JiHo’s close family privately to issue a personal apology.

For the fans: We are again incredibly sorry towards all of JiHo’s fans who have been worried about her not only during her hiatus this year, but throughout her whole career. We know you want to see more of JiHo and we, along with Esteem and of course JiHo, will try and give back to you as much as possible by providing you with the content you deserve.

We know that the fans will be the happiest if JiHo is happy, so from now on we will make extra sure that JiHo’s happiness is our top priority.

Our apology doesn’t excuse our past actions and from now on we will try to be more transparent as that is something we heard many fans shared their concerns about. We want to let you know that most of the things we’ve discussed here are things we’ve been working on ever since JiHo’s hiatus started. But since the news is now public we want to assure the people that actions are indeed being taken.

We would also like to let everyone know that there have been actions taken in regards of the employees, managers and direct contacts who were at the base of all of this.

From now on we will be focusing on making things right and moving forward. Thank you for your patience.

Fans are happy to hear that SM is taking actions. Even if some things go unexplained and many fans don’t believe SM is being completely “transparent”, they are content things seem to start going into the right direction.

When more news surface (which I have a feeling it will) I’ll be updating you guys about this. For now I’ll leave you with some of the fans’ reactions to the situation.

What do you think about SM’s apology? And how do you feel about hearing the truth about JiHo’s hiatus? Let us now in the comments bellow or on our Twitter @KNewsToday

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, I’ve been tasked with researching Richard Plantagenet for a paper and thus far found extremely negative accounts of the king, his religious bigotry being a reoccurring theme (his treatment of Jewish dignitaries attending his coronation and his reasoning to join the third crusade etc)

I stumbled across your wonderful tag for Richard at the weekend and wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing your informed opinion of Richard and his views on religions ? Your writing seems very well balanced regarding his attributes and flaws. Thanks :)

Oof. Okay. So, a short and simple question, then?

Quick note: when I was first reading your ask and saw "Richard Plantagenet," I briefly assumed that you meant Richard Plantagenet, father of Edward IV, or perhaps Richard III, both from the Wars of the Roses in the fifteenth century, before seeing from context that you meant Richard I. While "Plantagenet" was first used as an informal appellation by Richard I's grandfather, Geoffrey of Anjou, it wasn't until several centuries later that the English royal house started to use it consistently as a surname. So it's not something that Richard I would have been really called or known by, even if historians tend to use it as a convenient labeling conceit. (See: the one thousand popular histories on "The Plantagenets" that have been published recently.)

As for Richard I, he is obviously an extremely complex and controversial figure for many reasons, though one of the first things that you have to understand is that he has been mythologized and reinvented and reinterpreted down the centuries for many reasons, especially his crusade participation and involvement in the Robin Hood legends. When you're researching about Richard, you're often reading reactions/interpretations of that material more than anything specifically rooted in the primary sources. And while I am glad that you asked me about this and want to encourage you to do so, I will gently enquire to start off: when you say "research," what kind of materials are you looking at, exactly? Are these actual published books/papers/academic material, or unsourced stuff on the internet written from various amateur/ideological perspectives and by people who have particular agendas for depicting Richard as the best (or as is more often the case, worst) ever? Because history, to nobody's surprise, is complicated. Richard did good things and he also did quite bad things, and it's difficult to reduce him to one or the other.

Briefly (ha): I'll say just that if a student handed me a paper stating that Richard was a religious bigot because a) there were anti-Jewish riots during his coronation and b) he signed up for the Third Crusade, I would seriously question it. Medieval violence against the Jews was an unfortunately endemic part of crusade preparations, and all we know about Richard's own reaction is that he fined the perpetrators harshly (repeated after a similar March 1190 incident in York) and ordered for them to be punished. Therefore, while there famously was significant anti-Semitic violence at his coronation, Richard himself was not the one who instigated it, and he ordered for the Londoners who did take part in it to be punished for breaking the king's peace.

This, however, also doesn't mean that Richard was a great person or that he was personally religiously tolerant. We don't know that and we often can't know that, whether for him or anyone else. This is the difficulty of inferring private thoughts or beliefs from formal records. This is why historians, at least good historians, mostly refrain from speculating on how a premodern private individual actually thought or felt or identified. We do know that Richard likewise also made a law in 1194 to protect the Jews residing in his domains, known as Capitula Judaeis. This followed in the realpolitik tradition of Pope Calixtus II, who had issued Sicut Judaeis in c. 1120 ordering European Christians not to harass Jews or forcibly convert them. This doesn't mean that either Calixtus or Richard thought Jews were great, but they did choose a different and more pragmatic/economic way of dealing with them than their peers. This does not prove "religious bigotry" and would need a lot more attention as an analytical concept.

As for saying that the crusades were motivated sheerly by medieval religious bigotry, I'm gonna have to say, hmm, no. Speaking as someone with a PhD in medieval history who specialised in crusade studies, there is an enormous literature around the question of why the crusades happened and why they continue to hold such troubling attraction as a pattern of behavior for the modern world. Yes, Richard went on crusade (as did the entire Western Latin world, pretty much, since 1187 and the fall of Jerusalem was the twelfth century's 9/11). But there also exists material around him that doesn't exist around any other crusade leader, including his extensive diplomatic relations with the Muslims, their personal admiration for him, his friendship with Saladin and Saladin's brother Saif al-Din, the fact that Arabic and Islamic sources can be more complimentary about Richard than the Christian records of his supposed allies, and so forth. I think Frederick II of Sicily, also famous for his friendly relationships with Muslims, is the only other crusade leader who has this kind of material. So however he did act on crusade, and for whatever reasons he went, Richard likewise chose the pragmatic path in his interactions with Muslims, or at least the Muslim military elite, than just considering them all as religious barbarians unworthy of his time or attention.

The question of how the crusades functioned as a pattern of expected behavior for the European Christian male aristocrat, sometimes entirely divorced from any notion of his private religious beliefs, is much longer and technical than we can possibly get into. (As again, I am roughly summarising a vast and contentious field of academic work for you here, so... yes.) Saying that the crusades happened only because medieval people were all religious zealots is a wild oversimplification of the type that my colleague @oldshrewsburyian and I have to deal with in our classrooms, and likewise obscures the dangerous ways in which the modern world is, in some ways, more devoted to replicating this pattern than ever. It puts it beyond the remit of analysis and into the foggy "Dark Ages hurr durr bad" stereotype that drives me batty.

Weighted against this is the fact that Richard obviously killed many Muslims while on crusade, and that this was motivated by religious and ideological convictions that were fairly standard for his day but less admirable in ours. The question of how that violence has been glorified by the alt-right people who think there was nothing wrong with it at all and he should have done more must also be taken into account. Richard's rise to prominence as a quintessentially English chivalrous hero in the nineteenth century, right when Britain was building its empire and needed to present the crusades as humane and civilizing missions abroad rather than violent and generally failed attempts at forced conversion and conquest, also problematized this. As noted, Richard was many things, but... not that, and when the crusades fell out of fashion again in the twentieth century, he was accordingly drastically villainized. Neither the superhero or the supervillain images of him are accurate, even if they're cheap and easy.

The English nationalists have a complicated relationship with Richard: he represents the ideal they aspire to, aesthetically speaking, and the kind of anti-immigrant sentiment they like to put in his mouth, which is far more than the historical Richard actually displayed toward his Muslim counterparts. (At least, again, so far as we can know anything about his private beliefs, but this is what we can infer from his actions in regard to Saladin, who he deeply respected, and Saladin's brother.) But he was also thoroughly a French knight raised and trained in the twelfth-century martial tradition, his concern for England was only as a minor part of the sprawling 'Angevin empire' he inherited from his father Henry II (which is heresy for the Brexit types who think England should always be the center of the world), and his likely inability to speak English became painted as a huge character flaw. (Notwithstanding that after the Norman Conquest in 1066, England did not have a king who spoke English natively until Henry IV in 1399, but somehow all those others don't get blamed as much as Richard.)

Anyway. I feel as if it's best to stop here. Hopefully this points you toward the complexity of the subject and gives you some guidelines in doing your own research from here. :)

[ticklygiggles]

Pranks for Lucifer | The Fantastic Three

Collab with @otomiya-tickles

A/N: Huhu, we're at it again! It had been a hot minute since my sweet Ginny girl and I wrote something together, and of course we had to write something with our current obsession: Obey Me!

Summary: The Anti-Lucifer Squad is plotting again like always, and Lucifer complains about it to Diavolo and Barbatos. Minor mistake! Looks like his borthers and that human aren't the only ones he should be careful of!

Words: 2,493

"What kind of plan?" Barbatos asked curiously, munching on one of his favorite Madam Scream's Macarons, looking as carefree as he could be, even as he was sitting right beside his Master.

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, not at Barbatos, but in general. He had been dealing with a particular trio all week and just told his two companions the gist of it.

"Now, you're probably overthinking, Lucifer!" Diavolo reasoned, his calm demeanor almost making Lucifer angry.

Of course he was not overthinking. He knew his brothers better than anyone, especially Belphie and Satan. They were always up to something, trying to embarrass and piss off Lucifer, and now they had found an ally and who knows what kind of pranks they pull in the Human World?

"I'm telling you," Lucifer said with a sigh, seeing how Barbatos reached out for another Macaron. "They're up to something. The human has been… extremely touchy these past few days,” he explained, recalling all the times he felt the human's hands on him only yesterday. "Faking they almost fell and landing on me, holding onto my sides and squeezing unnecessarily hard."

"Why do you say 'faking'?" Diavolo inquired, tilting his head to the side. "Humans are silly creatures and not as gracious. They tend to fall a lot, don't they?"

Barbatos chuckled behind a gloved hand and Lucifer looked at him cautiously, "Young Master, humans do tend to fall all the time, but is it not a little weird that Satan and Belphie seem to be there every single time it happens?"

"How do you know?" Lucifer asked, frowning a little.

Barbatos looked at him with a sided grin, "I have been watching too, Lucifer," he said and Lucifer couldn't stop the sudden warmth assaulting his cheeks, he cleared his throat.

"What? Why is Lucifer blushing?" Diavolo asked excitedly, pointing at Lucifer’s cheeks, which he tried to cover up with haste.

“Am not,” he said, but Barbatos already replied, “Hehe. Why My Lord, I think Lucifer is only telling us half of the story.” Lucifer turned his head rapidly, looking at Barbatos in surprise.

“What do you mean?” he asked, noticing the rather teasy look on Barbatos’ face.

“You act like you don’t know. But don’t go tell us something without finishing the story,” Barbatos continued, and Diavolo looked from one to the other, chirping happily “what what?”.

“There is nothing more I need to tell you except that they have been acting strange. Suspicious brothers, touchy human, end of the story,” Lucifer argued calmly, but his heart was racing. When he welcomed Barbatos and Diavolo into his private office and they spotted the scheming trio hopping around Lucifer’s door before bolting off, he thought he could explain briefly how they had been acting funny all this time.

Obviously he knew all their tricks and plans, and among them was one particular thing they were plotting: they were trying to tickle him, but was that really a detail he should mention? Ah, he shouldn’t have underestimated Barbatos. He tried to shrug it off and took his teacup for a few hasty sips, burning his lips slightly.

“Hmm,” Barbatos hummed, looking not so impressed.

“He is all flustered,” Diavolo observed aloud, still sounding slightly confused, but intrigued.

“Am not,” Lucifer sighed again.

"He does," Barbatos mumbled with a smirk as he reached for yet another macaron. "Can My Lord guess what Lucifer's brothers and that funny human are trying to do?"

"Don't," Lucifer warned, looking at Barbatos with nasty eyes and then at Diavolo. "There's nothing to guess, I was just letting you know since they were acting suspiciously when you-

"Are they trying to tickle him?" Lucifer widened his eyes slightly and he cursed when he felt the warmth over his cheeks creeping to his ears.

Barbatos covered his mouth as he let out a charming laugh. "My Lord really is quick," he said, clearing his throat. "Indeed, Lucifer didn't want to admit they're trying to tickle him. I think it's a fun prank," he teased, raising an eyebrow toward Lucifer and grinning wildly.

Lucifer growled just as Diavolo laughed brightly. "It is a good prank. I wonder if they'd found out where Lucifer is the most ticklish?"

"Shall we ask them?"

"Don't you dare," Lucifer said, feeling his stomach doing a little awkward flutter, his heart racing. "Look, I just thought briefly that they were trying to do so-

"To do what?" Diavolo asked with a grin just as wild as Barbatos'.

Lucifer stared at him. Of course he was going to force him to say it, he swallowed and settled into the couch, trying to look calm. "To tickle me, but of course they wouldn't dare to try something so childish."

The happy smirks at the sound of the word they were waiting for really made Lucifer feel uncomfortable, and he unconsciously tensed up completely, keeping the teacup in his lap as if it could offer some protection.

“No, perhaps they would not,” Barbatos said calmly. Lucifer’s heart was pounding against his chest. As much as he felt himself driven into a corner by these two, he refused to make the first move. The silence between Barbatos’ and Diavolo’s words seemed to take ages too, making the anticipation only grow.

“But we do. Don’t we Barbatos?” Diavolo said gleefully, confirming Lucifer’s fears.

“Yes, we do. I think Lucifer should drink his tea first,” Barbatos said. Lucifer really tried not to show how flustered he was getting here. They were just calmly plotting to tickle him now after all this, right in his face?

“Please do not lower yourselves to my brothers’ level,” he tried to argue, clenching the cup carrying the hot liquid in his hand. They were going to tickle him, they definitely were. He had to get out of this.

Diavolo chuckled, shaking his head softly. "When you know where Lucifer is ticklish, there's no such thing as lowering levels," he said calmly and Lucifer noticed how Diavolo's eyes were intently looking at his cup of tea, waiting for Lucifer to drink the whole thing.

This tea was the only thing protecting him from an inevitable attack, so he clung to his cup, not caring if the liquid grew cold.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Barbatos moving forward and Lucifer couldn't help but flinch backward with a soft gasp. Barbatos and Diavolo laughed softly.

"What is wrong, Lucifer?" Barbatos asked, grabbing a third macaron. "Are you a bit jumpy now?"

Lucifer wanted to disappear. "Why are you doing this?" He nearly whined, eyeing his companions and then the door of his room. "I'll kick you both out of here if you do anything funny," he warned.

"Now, Lucifer. Why are you being so mean? We just want to have some fun!" Diavolo said, overly excited. "And since you already finished your tea, I'm sure you want to have fun too, right?"

"My-!" Lucifer looked down and he widened his eyes. His cup was empty! Not even a single drop of tea inside. "What- how did you- No." It was no use though. Diavolo gently placed a hand on Lucifer’s leg while Barbatos leaned forward and easily and gracefully snatched the empty cup from his hands. Lucifer grabbed after it as if it would do him anything good, but Diavolo’s hand moved from his knee to his arm while Barbatos put the cup on the table.

“Shall we start?” he asked eagerly. Barbatos chuckled. “Please do not ask me, My Lord. It is your call.” Oh, that it was. Diavolo dove after Lucifer like a happy child, instantly grabbing ahold of his torso with wiggling and digging fingers. Lucifer gasped, but on his other side appeared Barbatos.

“S-stop, you two t-this isn’t.. H-hey!” he gasped, managing to hide his laughter so far, but still, they were going too far! Barbatos placed a hand gently on his knee and squeezed, firm enough to make Lucifer jolt a little.

“Sensitive as ever,” he said, and it sounded like a compliment, but Barbatos was smirking and ahhh Lucifer really wanted to squirm out of here, but he only felt Diavolo hold onto him tighter.

“Hey hey where do you think you’re going?” he teased, his fingers on his torso spreading out and digging in more firmly. Lucifer gasped again, fighting back any sort of laugh or giggle that threatened to come out.

“You’re aha- you’re beheing like Belphie and Sata-ahh!” Lucifer felt his ability to resist slip away more and more.

“Yes, your brothers! I understand this is what they wanted to see,” Diavolo replied, his fingers attacking Lucifer’s sides with frantic enthusiasm. When this didn’t give him the reaction he desired, the rapidly wiggling digits moved up higher and prodded against Lucifer’s lower ribs.

Diavolo's fingers rubbed the right spot over Lucifer's lower ribs, the sensation making him spasm heavily before soft, embarrassing giggles started to pour out of his mouth.

"Oh, well done, Young Master," Barbatos said and Lucifer tried to compose himself, but he was giggling already and he knew he couldn't stop now. The dam was broken.

"S-Stohohop im-immehehehediately!" Lucifer giggled, closing his eyes and feeling his cheeks burning as he got a hold of Diavolo's wrists. "I s-swehehear I wo-ahahaha!"

Lucifer kicked his legs as he felt Barbatos' hand creeping up his thighs from his knee, squeezing at the flesh near his inner thighs.

His giggling surely turned a bit more frantic and Barbatos chuckled. "Do not forget, My Lord, that Lucifer has an extremely ticklish lower body."

Lucifer growled and he felt embarrassed, exposed, humiliated by the fact that Barbatos knew this information about him. He hated how observant he wa-

"What? Right here?" Diavolo asked and Lucifer threw his head back with loud laughter as Diavolo's fingers suddenly vibrated against his lower belly. He bucked forward in an instant reflex, dropping against Diavolo who carefully steadied him with a hand on his shoulder while his fingers continued to knead the taut flesh of his lower belly.

“Diahah-a-Ahh Bahaharbatos nohoho!” Lucifer whined shamefully as he squirmed against Diavolo and Barbatos picked up his leg so he could squeeze all around his knee, including the back of it. Lucifer simply lay squeezed in between them, writhing and giggling uncontrollably. He felt his ticklishly assaulted stomach flutter even more from the inside when he heard the two men chuckle charmingly.

“I have not seen Lucifer enjoy himself this much in a while,” Diavolo said fondly. His hand that held Lucifer’s shoulder moved down and playfully squeezed Lucifer’s lower side, making him arch back again, gasping loudly.

“Eehehehehe y-you two are so- aahaha!”

Barbatos chuckled, "What, so you are not denying it, Lucifer? Are you enjoying yourself?"

Wanting to sound intimidating, Lucifer growled, but uncontrollable giggles filtered in as Barbatos moved his nimble fingers from Lucifer's knee, squeezing their way up to his inner thigh.

"Cuhuhuhurses! Stahahahap!" Lucifer threw his head back against Diavolo's shoulder, quickly turning it to the side to avoid that ridiculous gentle look he always gave him when Lucifer laughed so carefreely like this.

"He is still not denying it," Diavolo teased, clawing at Lucifer's lower stomach with one hand and tickling his lower side with the other, his thumb gently pressing against a pressure point on Lucifer's side that positively made him cackle and arch his back.

This was so humiliating! He couldn't stop his laughter and they kept finding and abusing sensitive spots that made him jerk and shriek and the worst part that he was not… totally hating this.

“Ahahah! Nohoho - ughheheehhe…” From wording various protests, Lucifer felt himself slowly calm down until he was merely squirming against Diavolo and giggling and laughing breathlessly. Once in a while he would mutter a soft “S-stohohop!” but strangely he kind of found acceptance in the fact that these two were going to tickle him until they were pleased.

By the time they were, Lucifer was breathing heavily, still chuckling and giggling a little. “A-are you done?” he asked, wheezing tiredly. The two men chuckled as well.

“Yes, Lucifer. We are done,” Barbatos said, finally sitting back and going back to enjoying the macaroons.

“That was fun! It was fun right, Lucifer?” Diavolo said, and Lucifer wasn’t quick enough to snap back, blushing slightly and his lips moving wordlessly.

“He is still not denying it. My guess is, he thinks so too,” Barbatos said, nodding with this satisfied look on his face. Lucifer tried to glare, but found himself failing to.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” he muttered, still short of breath, but he couldn’t fight the urge to smile again.

Lucifer shifted until he was resting against the back of his sofa instead of Diavolo's body, and as he cleared his throat, Barbatos gave him a refilled cup of tea. Lucifer mumbled a soft 'thank you' and his hands shook as he grabbed the cup.

Barbatos couldn't help but chuckle and Lucifer glared, a smirk pulling at his lips. "Are you sure you'll keep eating those?" He pointed at the macarons with a move of his chin. "You're going to get... soft," he teased and Barbatos raised an eyebrow.

"What? Soft like this?" He asked and Lucifer gasped when his cup disappeared from his hands before Barbatos' fingers clawed at his upper thigh. "Did you eat many macarons, Lucifer?"

"Ahahahare- are y-you cahahahalling me f-fahahat?!!" He squeaked, kicking his leg and pushing at Barbatos' hand.

The butler stopped and he basically swallowed a fifth macaron as Diavolo laughed at the scene, giving Lucifer his cup back.

"Ah, but it's a shame you don't want your brothers to see you laughing like that, Lucifer," Diavolo said, smiling brightly at Lucifer. "You look so beautiful laughing so carefree!"

Lucifer's cheeks flushed again and he let out a sigh, covering his eyes with one hand. "I told you to stop with the compliments, Diavolo."

"Doesn't Lucifer look absolutely beautiful when he laughs, Barbatos?"

Barbatos hummed, nodding his head as he drank a bit of tea. "Really beautiful, his brothers would probably be mesmerized… or scared?"

Lucifer snorted. "I don't wish my brothers to see me like this. They wouldn't let me live."

"Oh! So it's okay if we do it?" Diavolo asked and Lucifer swore he saw a tail wagging behind him.

He opened his mouth to say something back, but no words came out and instead, his cheeks turned red again.

"He didn't deny it," Diavolo said and Barbatos chuckled. "He did not, My Lord. Then, I guess that is a yes."

Lucifer cleared his throat, and closing his eyes, he drank more tea, trying to hide a smile behind his cup. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Yes. Only these two demons could ever have the chance to do something as humiliating as tickling him, after all, he also had a free pass to get a little revenge on them.

[purpletaecup]

6 ☾ these echoes of laughter fade into a distant memory

note: fully written chapter again this time, with social media half chapters coming later this week! this chapter is mainly Yoongi and we see a little bit of his side and how he felt in the past and how he feels in the present. not edited, wanted to post this before the concert so we can all cry together!

rlly important note: i suggest you guys listen to nineteen by hayley williams because i basically base this whole story off that song (and some chinese webnovels i read lmfao). It’s one of my favorite songs ever and it hurts a whole lot. I wish i could experience how I felt when I listened to it for the first time again. As always, feel free to vent/rant and tell me your theories about how the story is going to go! let’s cry together :’)

final note: IM SORRYYY FOR THISSSS don’t hate me pleaseee 

word count: 2,523

That night, Yoongi slept in your hospital room. The emotional weight of everything that had happened had kept him nailed to the chair beside your bed. The smell of the air after the rain permeated into the room and reminded him of the day that his lawyer delivered the divorce papers to you, who was alone at home and probably waiting for him. Looking back at it, maybe it was an impulse decision that he made due to the frustration and exhaustion that your marriage caused him. He grew weary and waking up in the morning felt like a chore. You were distant, he was distant and both of you were living lives going in different directions. But you loved each other, and for a while, he thought that could be enough. Evidently, it wasn’t. He doesn’t regret the divorce because in the end, he thought he was doing what was best for the both of you. He knew how tired you were and how you felt being around the people in his life. He felt the same way with the people in yours. Everything about your lives clashed and he thought that divorce was the best solution for both of you to become happy again. He wasn’t getting any younger, but you were still very young and you could still find someone who could love and cherish you better than he could.

He didn’t regret it.

He didn’t.

Or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. He didn’t regret it. He couldn’t regret it. But remembering how you looked when he came home that night breaks his heart to pieces. Your pale and shivering figure crying by the front door and the way your trembling hands shook him off when he tried to help you up. It was a sight that would remain ingrained in his mind and his heart forever. When you two finally made it inside your house to sit on the couch, he fully expected you to shout and scream and throw a tantrum about the divorce papers. He did not expect the quiet sobs that wracked your figure, or the broken “why are you doing this?” and finally the resignation in your voice when you told him you’d sign it. He remembered, at that moment, that he began crying too. He walked over and sat next to you and took you in his arms like you were his whole world even though he knew he had just ruined yours. With his head buried in your damp hair and neck, he whispered a million apologies. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry for wasting your time. Sorry for not knowing how to love you properly. Sorry for not trying.

These apologies meant nothing to you. They were nothing compared to the pain you had endured to be with him, to love him. He didn’t know that. For the last months of your relationship, he didn’t know who you were and that’s what pushed him to get the divorce. You were a shell of the woman you were when you two first met. Your smile didn’t make butterflies appear in his stomach anymore and your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter like it used to. It wasn’t the same anymore. You were both different people, changed people.

In the midst of this change, he was introduced to Yura by Jungkook. A model he worked with a couple times and a really nice woman. Beautiful, even. Almost as beautiful as you, he had thought when he first met her. Jungkook pushed and pushed for him to hang out with them and the rest of the guys and the more he saw Yura, the more he talked to her, the more he began to like her. She reminded him of you when he first met you.

You were 19 and he was 23 and you were modeling at the same set he was supposed to shoot at an hour later. He came early to help the staff prepare for his music video shoot and hopefully talk to the director but he had ended up watching your shoot for most of the time until it was his turn for the set. The people around you liked to say that Yoongi fell in love with you at first sight. He often refuted that it wasn’t at first sight because he wasn’t the type of person to fall in love because of how someone looks. In private, he told you that he fell in love with you at first smile, first laugh. The sight of you laughing genuinely in the middle of hydrangeas and baby’s-breath enchanted him so much that he remained rooted to the floor for the remainder of your shoot.

The laughs and the smiles were Yoongi’s favorite. You were the most beautiful person he’d ever met. You are still the most beautiful he’d ever met, but perhaps it was the exhaustion of life that wore the both of you down. What had started as a beautiful, youthful romance filled with picnics in meadows had ended with divorce papers on a rainy day in September.

These are the thoughts that followed Yoongi to sleep that night.

☾

[nov. 10, 2020]

The same thoughts haunted him day in and day out ever since he left that next morning at the insistence of Jungkook and Taehyung. He spent 4 days on his own, working and living his life but only on the surface. Conservations with people, including his friends, remained minimal. He couldn’t stop thinking about your broken and bruised body laying in the hospital bed, and he was anxious for the news of you waking up but none had come. He received no calls from the hospital since he left, and Taehyung said that visiting was meaningless unless the doctor told him new information.

Yura told him, verbatim, “I understand that you’re worried about her safety, but the doctors said she would be fine. She’s your ex-wife, I get it, but she’s not your responsibility anymore.”

In a way, she was right. But he couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of leaving you all alone there. He knew it was hard for Jin to come out because he was incredibly busy with work, and when he wasn’t traveling for his job, he lived too far from both of you to ever accompany you in the way that you needed. In addition to that, he had no idea what happened to you and your mom. The last he heard, which was when you were still married, you were on speaking terms with her and there wasn’t a problem between the two of you. At least not that he knew of. Namjoon was on a book tour and Jimin was constantly booked due to his dance career. In any case, you had no one here. Yoongi was all you had and that was evident in your unchanged emergency contact list.

After Yura had said that, he felt uneasy being around her so he told her that he truthfully couldn’t stand to just move on with his life while you were practically lifeless in the hospital, and if that was a problem with her then maybe they should just take a break from each other. He kept telling himself that he really liked Yura and he wanted what she could give him, but he couldn’t ignore the four years that you two spent building a life together. Especially not now that you were pregnant, a fact that he had kept hidden from Yura.

When he thought about the pregnancy, everything else seemed to melt away. Despite the circumstances, the news of your pregnancy made him happy. Extremely so, albeit a little scared as well. He wondered how long you had known, and if you were happy or scared.Or what if you didn’t know at all? As far as he could tell, you weren’t showing. There was no sign of a bump on your little belly, but the doctor’s words were irrefutable. There was a baby growing in there. A baby that was half you and half him and that thought of that made him smile like he hadn’t in a long, long time.

That night, he dreamt about a little girl with your eyes and your smile and a nose that resembled his. A laughter that reminded him of yours echoed in those dreams.

☾

[nov. 11, 2020]

Pleasant dreams faded into a pleasant morning as Yoongi woke up much earlier than he was used to and felt better than he had in ages. He spent some time by himself before his phone was bombarded by phone calls and text messages from the group chat with the boys asking him when he was coming for work.

As he saw the sun take its place in the blue skies and white clouds, he decided that the day was too beautiful to waste on a day in the company. 5 days passed since your accident and he thought it was time to go back to the hospital and see how you were doing. Of course he wasn’t expecting any changes to your condition considering he hasn’t gotten any phone calls from the hospital yet, but he thought it might make him feel more at ease to sit next to you.

On his way to the hospital, he stopped by the flower shop you often went to, the one next to the park with the yellow flowers that you liked so much. The woman at the front, whose name was Yerin by the looks of her nametag, recognizes you immediately.

“Mr. Min Yoongi? How can we help you today?” She asks, immediately standing up straight at your intimidating presence.

“Just here to get some flowers.” He replies nonchalantly.

Yerin runs around the counter to stand in front of him.

“Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

“No, not really—wait a second, that flower right there. Give me a bouquet of those.” He says, pointing to the bunches of purple flowers hiding behind Yerin.

She turns to see what he was pointing to. “Ah, purple lilacs. Okay, I’ll put it together for you really quick!”

He saw her go around the many shelves of flowers to what he assumed was the back inventory of the shop and didn’t see her come out until a couple of minutes later. In her hands was a beautiful bouquet of the purple lilacs with white baby's-breath. His eyes softened at the sight of the white flowers. The sight was familiar to him.

“That would be 25,830 won.” Yerin handed the bouquet to him and smiled.

He handed her 35,000 won, murmured his thanks and left. Once out of the shop, he was hit by the bright sunlight and couldn’t help looking over to the park. Kids were running around while their parents watched them on picnic blankets.

Warm and sunny days like this reminded him of you. Spending your days in the sun, laying on a picnic blanket and eating fruits, was your very existence.

He spends only a few moments admiring the scenery of people enjoying the weather before he makes his way back to his car and to the hospital. When he arrives at your room, nothing has changed except for the fact that your skin has regained a bit of its color and the bruises began the healing process.

Yoongi sets the flowers down on the table beside your bed. He moves the chair from the wall to the side of the bed so he could sit right next to you. His heart almost stops when he sees your face. It seems like the nurses changed the bandage on your head as the bandaging was noticeably lighter, but he could still see a bit of blood seeping through. The bruises on your arms and everywhere alarm him but he knows that you’re okay and you’re healing and that’s enough for him. It’s enough to know that you were alive and going to be fine.

His eyes trail down to your stomach and he lets it linger on them for a long time because he takes your hand in his and takes a deep breath. Two months ago he could have never imagined that this is where he would be right now. Two months ago, both of you had walked away from your marriage and Yoongi honestly thought that you two may never have crossed paths again despite his thoughts going to you more often than it should be. Now, two months later, you were divorced and pregnant with his child. His eyes continue to stare at your stomach, still flat and showing no signs of carrying a second life, and he resists the urge to caress it. You weren’t conscious and even if you were, would you allow your ex-husband to feel your stomach like that? No, probably not.

And that’s when he felt a twitch in his hand, not coming from his own. He looks down to see your fingers moving just barely. His first reaction was shock, then anxiety. He didn’t know what to do and the shock of your movement paralyzed him. It was only when he felt another movement, stronger this time, that he felt the need to press the call button to alarm the doctors and nurses. You were moving, which meant that you might be waking up.

The moments pass quickly and slowly at the same time. The doctors barely made it in time to see you flutter your eyes open and groan with a broken voice. Yoongi looked down at you, still holding your hand. You blinked your eyes multiple times. The light was too bright to take in all at once. He squeezed your hand at the relief he felt in seeing you wake up.

“Yn, how are you feeling baby?” He couldn’t help the pet name that came out of his mouth. You looked so vulnerable and fragile that it came out on instinct.

Yoongi waited for a reply for a little bit but heard none. The doctor came around to stand next to you.

“Miss Yn? Can you see us? Hear us?” he asked.

You nodded slowly, wincing at the pain in and on your head.

“Where m’I?” You attempt to speak out, but it comes out broken and croaky.

Yoongi is glad to hear your voice, to hear you talk for the first time in so long.

“You’re in the hospital right now, you were in a car accident but you’re okay now baby. How are you feeling?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You craned your head towards him, blinking furiously with your eyebrows furrowed. Confusion marred your features. Yoongi was scared that you finally realized he was here, with you, and would kick him out at any chance. He was scared that you were going to kick him out of you life before he could ever see the baby that you had made together, but this fear of his could have never prepared him for the next words to come out of your mouth.

“Who are you?”

☾

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