#as this stupid guy sings and dances and just has a good time. Whenever i depict kenix dancing that scrapped idea always Haunts Me

[roboyomo]

oh wait. Did i ever tell you guys about a scrapped kenix idea i had like over a year ago. i just called it waltz of death and well. I think you get the idea from just that

[hannahssimblr]

There’s an argument at the nightclub door tonight. Actually, there is an argument at the nightclub door every time I show up here without fail, because I do not possess ID. 

“Of course I don’t have ID,” I explain to the bouncer, the same guy that’s here week after week yet refuses to admit that he remembers me, “C’mon, we both know how it’s going to be, we can do this silly little dance for two to three minutes and you’re going to let me in.”

“You’re too drunk.”

He’s right. “Look,” I sigh, “I’m here with girls, nice girls. Lovely girls and they’d like to come in too, wouldn’t you like for them to come in?” I cup the chin of Alison next to me, who theatrically bats her eyelashes and juts out her bottom lip, “Please,” she says, “we’re all so lovely and nice.”

The bouncer shuffles from one foot to the other, checking over his shoulder, and I know we’ve won. These men have a problem with underage boys coming into their clubs, but girls? The more girls the better. It doesn’t matter if they’re seventeen. 

“Go in,” He says through clenched teeth, “and no hassle from you tonight, you hear me?”

“What?” I say loudly as we pass, “Sorry, couldn’t hear you. Anyway, bye.”

The club is vibrating, strobe lights flash and music pumps so loudly that I can’t hear what anyone is saying. I think Alison is talking to me, at least her mouth is moving, so I lean in closer and bellow into her ear, “What?”

“I was singing,” she screams back, “I just like this song!”

Everyone around us is shrieking at one another too, either that or swaying exotically against each other on the dancefloor, college aged girls all wearing the same shoes, men in the same shirts. In one fleeting, sober moment I look around me, at the clouds of dry ice, feel the floor sticking to my shoes and wish I was hanging out with Jen and watching TV instead. The moment ends abruptly as soon as Fitzy from rugby throws himself onto my back and starts chanting “shots, shots, shots!”

“Yeah, okay shots,” I say, attempting enthusiasm, “fuck it. Anything but tequila.” 

As per my request we avoid tequila and we do some sort of hideous rainbow shot instead. I think that we are supposed to be impressed by the way the bartender pours it out, ten shot glasses in a line, each one of them a different colour, poured from the same nozzle. “You shouldn’t have bothered with that whole thing, they’ll all be down us in one second,” I tell him, but he doesn’t hear me. 

We dance for a while, or at least we try to as a dozen secondary school kids without a shred of poise or grace to share between us, and mostly we just leap around the place and do stupid moves so that we cannot be accused of earnestly trying, and open ourselves up to the risk of real humiliation. 

When Fitzy spots some girl he likes the look of, I try to force him to go and talk to her, but we won’t. He says he needs more shots for that, which is probably true because he’s a bit awkward, so I reckon Fitzy needs a few shots to get most things done. Maybe it’s a sign that one day he’ll be an alcoholic, but I try not to think about things like that when I’m jumping around on a crowded dance floor, it’s neither the time nor place for existential dread. 

“Puh puh puh poker face puh puh pokerface” Alison sings as she dances around me, “Can't read my, can't read my no he can't read-uh my poker face....”

Alison knows the lyrics to everything. Even songs that I’m only just hearing for the first time, and I don't know how. Either she listens to this kind of thing in her spare time or she just has an amazing memory. It’s an interesting and charming detail about her. She's a good dancer too, even when she's just being silly, and I've often noticed the way that other girls copy her moves, looking to her for choreography whenever she's on the dance floor.

“Oh, ohh oh oh, ohhh oh,” She vocalises, “I’ll get him hot, show him what I got…”

I smile at her, “What’ve you got, Alison?”

Her hand curls around my neck as she pulls my ear to her mouth, “MDMA, if you want it.”

“Ha! Where’d you get that?”

“Someone at school.”

“Yeah? What else do you have?”

She laughs, “Do you think I’m a pharmacy? C’mere,” She takes my hand and leads up away from the dancefloor, up a set of carpeted stairs and to a quieter landing near where the toilets are. We sit on a fancy little couch that is coated in years of filth while she digs through her little handbag. 

“Look, I’ll tell you the entire contents, a few pills, I’ve a little weed, three pretty squashed cigarettes, um, oh, a small bit of bag.”

“Oh, bag. I’ll take the bag.”

“Expensive taste, yeah?” She chuckles, “And you know, the idea of you on cocaine is like some kind of nightmare to me.”

“Why’s that?”

“You don’t need it babe, you’re already annoying enough.”

I gasp, “You’re awful, how can you say that?” but quickly give up acting offended and peer into the depths of her little quilted purse. My mother once told me to never, under any circumstances, go through a woman’s handbag but I honestly don’t think that rules like that apply to me.

I discover the saddest looking bag of cocaine I’ve ever seen and change my mind. “Fine, I’ll take the MDMA, but only because you insist.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I'll do it if you do it.”

“I know it's not your favourite...”

“Nah, no, come on, nobody should do pills on their own, that breaks my heart,” I hold out my hands like I’m receiving holy bread, and she tips one out of the little bag for me. 

“Hey,” I rest my neck against the back of the couch, “We could do it the way those old ladies do at mass, yeah? Put it right on my tongue.”

Alison snickers, “I thought you were protestant. Have you even been to a mass?”

“No but please, I know how it goes,” I stick out my tongue while she delicately places a pill onto it. It starts dissolving straight away, the bitter chemical taste makes me wince and I wonder, just like I do every time I do this, whether it’s really worth it. They make these pills look so tasty with their bright colours and funny little imprints, but they're not exactly flavourtown.

“Are you single at the moment?” Alison wants to know, and I nod, grimacing as it goes down, “Yeah, why?”

“I knew it, you know why? Because you act like an unstable person when you are. You seem unwell at the moment.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, though it’s fine.”

I look into her eyes, the blue of the sky before rain, and allow my pathetic feelings trickle in for a second. Sometimes I feel as though there is some crucial, working piece of me that’s been plucked out, leaving all of the other parts churning aimlessly like a clock with a missing cog, hands twitching desperately, uselessly, unable to move forward. I don’t think I like to be alone, in any sense. I think I need other people to feel complete, and I don’t know why that is.

I brush my fingers lightly along the side of Alison’s thigh, “And you?” I say softly, “are you single?”

“Yes, Jude.”

“Will you kiss me, then?” 

Alison, when she kisses me, feels holy. She’s like a shrine whose feet I weep at, begging for healing. She and I, this is how we are, this is the cycle we repeat, when I’m lonely, when she’s lonely and we find ourselves in purgatory. She doesn’t want more from me than this, than this shallow kissing, masquerading as something with depth, and sex, sometimes, when we can find a place to have it. I shouldn’t want more either. I don’t think I really do, not if I’m honest with myself, but sometimes I want to ask her why not. Maybe she’s confusing on purpose. Maybe she just likes to punish men. I think that it’d be fair enough if she did. We as a collective have mostly been cruel to her.

“Are you going to bring me home?” She murmurs, and I tuck her wavy red hair behind her ears, “Not as long as I share a wall with my eight year old sister.”

“Oh, not ideal. Where can we go?”

“I think all of our options are outside.”

“Fuck sake, and it’s freezing. Why aren’t you ever around in the summer?”

“Sorry, but look, I’m going to start learning to drive soon. Once I have a car I’ll have a decent place to take you.”

She laughs, “A car?”

“Yeah,” I clutch our hands together and hold them to my heart. It’s thumping now that I am coming up, “Alison, when I get a car, I’ll ride you in the passenger seat any day of the week.”

“Jesus Christ,” she groans, and buries her face in my neck, “That’s the most romantic thing a guy has said to me in ages. How depressing is that?”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[shima-draws]

Hi all thanks for letting me infodump about my new kids <3 Anyway here’s their general info and personalities. They don’t have names yet so suggestions are welcome. Also elemental power suggestions are welcome (remember, this is within the ATS verse so it’ll have to be 1 of the 15 elements). Some of them are already set but not all of them so ;)

Protag boy: THE boy of all time. He’s lovable. He’s stupid. He’s absurdly powerful. He’s really chill UNLESS you mess with his friends then he goes apeshit. He’s got a boyish charm that every single member of the group is attracted to. He’s the official leader of the group and they would do ANYTHING for him. His childhood friend passed away due to an incurable illness so whenever someone gets sick he mother hens to the EXTREME. He rarely ever cries so when he does the entire group flips their shit trying to comfort him or trying to beat the hell out of whatever made him cry. And most importantly. He is BABY

(Yes I got inspired bc I’ve been watching too much shounen lately. I NEEDED to make the boy ever)

Mute girl: Originally she was a VERY famous singer but she “vanished” five years ago. She’s kept this a secret from the group. Due to trauma she has chosen to go mute and has not sung in a long, long time. She communicates solely through sign language and eventually the rest of the group picks it up. Is generally closed off, but opens up to the group as time passes. When she does finally get the courage to use her voice and sing again, everyone absolutely loses their shit at how beautiful her voice is and they all cry and it’s very emotional.

Rabid feral girl: Little feral child that is just a gremlin and was taken in by the group bc she had no family. She thinks of protag boy as her big brother and absolutely adores him. She’s also a BEAST in battle, one of the strongest members of the group. She has no memories of who she was before she met the group, and has a mysterious past that will soon catch up with her. She’s probably the most blunt out of everyone and can sometimes say rude things without meaning to. You want to get roasted by a 10 year old? Yeah she’ll roast you alright

Edgy boy: He’s stoic and strong willed and stupidly powerful. Has more of a physical fighting style rather than using magic. Was the first member of the group to fall in behind protag boy. Would do ANYTHING for protag boy, even betray the other members. Is surprisingly a really good dancer, but will only dance in public if it’s with mute girl (who’s also had dance training). Everyone is jealous of this. Is one of the few people to have known sign language from the get go, so he translates for mute girl a lot at the beginning. Might also secretly come from high society.

Standoffish mechanic: He’s a jerk, but he’s so lovable. Would die for protag boy. Protag boy gushes over his inventions and it boosts his ego way too much. He comes off as arrogant and cocky but he’s a real softie deep down :’) He butts heads with edgy boy a LOT. There’s some weird sexual tension going on there that nobody else wants to bring up. The “everyone is so not worth my time except for the people I love and care about” kind of guy. He will be brutally honest with you.

Non-binary parental figure: The oldest one in the group who watches over all the others. Very gentle and kind hearted, but willing to be strict if necessary. Acts as a sort of mentor figure to protag boy (and p much everyone else tbh). Is arguably the most powerful member of the group, but rarely ever uses their magic. They’re the kind of person that lets their kids learn their lessons the hard way. Is the first one to figure out mute girl’s story and acts as her confidant.

Violin boy: Has a history with mute girl and went through a similar trauma as her. Due to a misunderstanding he holds a serious grudge against mute girl which is eventually solved. He probably ends up joining the group. Or just runs into them once in a while. He’s socially awkward and can’t hold a good conversation to save his life…unless it’s with mute girl. Is actually very attractive but hides his looks due to low self esteem. Thanks trauma.

Himbo: I’m holding out for a himbo til the end of the night

(Dumb and strong and respects women and ride or die. Also gremlin girl’s best buddy and unofficial guardian. I really don’t have much else to say about him I honestly haven’t given him a lot of thought yet.)

Healer girl: Soft spoken and kind, she takes care of the group’s injuries and provides support in battle. Everyone’s a little intimidated by her bc she’s scary when they don’t immediately come to her for medical treatment after battle, or brush off their injuries. Grows close with mute girl. Is the calming presence of the group, and everyone comes to her when they are stressed. (This causes her to have a complex about being the calm one, the cheerful one, the one who always has their shit together. This is unhealthy. Lmao)

Smart girl: “I’m surrounded by idiots but they’re MY idiots” kind of person. Brilliantly clever and quick witted and has a sharp tongue. Thinks protag boy is SO dumb but she loves him anyway and has absolute faith in him. Has a loving family back home and gets embarrassed when her softer family side is brought up since she’s kinda arrogant and cold. Regularly spars with edgy boy. Gets easily flustered and then gets angry about it.

Cute baker: His pastries are SCRUMPTIOUS. He wears glasses. And has freckles. And he’s nerdy and kinda shy and awkward and he’s perfect. He’s more of a behind the scenes kind of strategist. He works with mechanic boy a lot to improve on their gadgets and gizmos and also on food related things. Is also wickedly smart but more in the book smart kind of way (while smart girl is street smart. Life experience smart.)

Now that you’ve met the squad…

(Also pssst tell me who you voted for in the tags/comments if you wanna!! I’m curious 👀)

[stars-tonight]

hiiii omg i really love ur work and ur aesthetic are just chef kiss 💋💋 i would like to request for a long romantic male match up pls

anon profile : 🎧

my pronouns are she/her

i prefer guys that are 178+ cus i like the height difference 😳 i’m around 165cm if you need to visual i like guys who can share me some TikTok memes and that are actually funny (he needs to have a humour or my life will be boring) maybe we can be chaotic together sometimes. i like guys who can vibe with me, i don’t become ‘high’ and chaotic all the time. most of the time im the kind that likes to stay on ground and just enjoy the peace, other times i’ll be the spawn of a devil and plot some ideas that could be fun but idiotic at the same time.

apparently i have some stress issues, like im prone to over stress myself and never realise about it. when that happens i tend to burst my emotions and get irritated. so i kinda need someone who can see the sign and cool me down?

i’m a girl that loves to study science and is good at it, but loves the artistic of life. i love going to museums and art galleries. i enjoy playing instruments and write songs, i tend to write songs about people or about my feelings. i like to dance on occasions too.

i’m that one friend that either hypes you up to do something stupid, or be the killjoy that prevents ur death. i love my personal space and tend to isolate myself, but when i really like you i will be clingy. i’m loud with my close friends and i don’t really bring up conversations with someone I’m not close with. my social energies dies up easily.

i love giving physical touch and probably quality time, and i really appreciate receiving quality time and acts of service.

my ideal dates are museums and aquarium dates. but on some occasions, i enjoy stay-in dates like baking cookies together and having movie marathons while cuddling.

i’m a cat person, and i dislikes watermelons, 100% they can have it. my mbti is INFP

headcanons

🥛 tendō is 187 cm

🥛 he's definitely chronically online and definitely has tiktok

🥛 he gives chaotic but chill energy if that makes sense; he's not energetic 24/7 but he's also not a couch potato

🥛 i imagine that's the kind of vibe you're looking for

🥛 he's a very chill guy (bro i just said that what am i doing 😭) and he's a go-with-the-flow, "no stress life's a game" kinda guy, so he doesn't get stressed a lot

🥛 but he's very perceptive and intuitive so whenever he notices you're starting to overload yourself or feel stressed he takes measures to help you calm down

🥛 ngl he's probably not the best at comforting you with words (flashback to "don't cry tsutomu!" *chops back*)

🥛 but he'll definitely crack jokes to lighten your mood and, post-timeskip, he'll make you your favorite dessert or chocolate

🥛 tendō isn't the biggest fan of science but you can't tell me he didn't sit outside and eat dirt as a kid

🥛 but he for sure likes art, especially those really strange paintings that are so questionable and mysterious and you just have to come up with some crazy story to explain them

🥛 honestly though, he'd find it hard to visit museums because they're kinda boring and you have to be quiet

🥛 he'd be the biggest fan of your music! would beg to sing along while you play an instrument

🥛 you'd conduct two-person concerts all the time (no audiences allowed except maybe for ushijima)

🥛 and tendō likes to let loose and have a little dance party every now and then

🥛 he's for sure the hypeman who puts everyone's life in danger

🥛 which means the two of you would either be a double dose of crazy and unhinged or you'll have to act like his mom and keep him from doing stupid stuff

🥛 i think he likes quality time and acts of service with his partner, especially quality time

🥛 baking cookies is such a cute date idea with tendō! he's great at baking and would for sure make it such a fun experience. you end up throwing little pieces of dough at each other and blasting music

runner up for you was suna rintarō!

[error-pleaseleaveamessage-error]

So... may I interest anyone in some silly Ninjago tickle headcanons? These aren't based on the movie, I'll make a separate post for those.

Kai imposes his big brother antics on all the ninja, because it's sibling instinct! How could he not go in for a hair ruffle or a poke or two? He absolutely loves messing with them.

They love messing with him right back so it all checks out.

Jay's being too snippy? He's getting pinned on sight and laughing too much so he can't say anything stupid.

Cole won't stop hogging all the snacks? Surely, leaving yourself wide open for an attack isn't the smartest move... someone could scribble where he least expects.

Zane's choosing to hound in more on his oblivious act when swiping the last bit of ham? Kai can do the same thing, except no Zane - air tickles and wiggling above his tickle spots do not count as tickling so why is Zane giggling so much?

Nya is sympathetic but does nothing most of the time. It puts some slack off her back. (That doesn't mean she's immune, Kai has no problems with tackling her and her attitude.)

Although, Kai is not immune to revenge either...

Kai can get too cocky. Which turns Cole, Jay, and Zane into tickle monsters who are very hungry for revenge.

Speaking of tickle monsters, even with Kai's big brother energy, Cole by far takes the tickle monster title.

Which could be considered unexpected, he's a rather reserved sarcastic guy in the beginning. But being with the team unlocks a very silly part of himself.

He's more often than not found himself giving into the feeling and pretending to feast on Jay's ribs, or even demonstrating just how tickly raspberries can be on Zane.

He definitely does tickly nibbles and raspberries all the time, he claims it's not unfair because anyone can do it.

Jay and Zane are very weak for raspberries. Zane because it bugs his nervous system and overrides his thinking patterns, and Jay because he's a squirmy wiggly guy.

Speaking of, Jay cannot sit still. He sucks at tickle games like that. He can't keep his arms up or not laugh, it's impossible and rude. He must be pinned down otherwise someone could get a new bruise or lose a tooth.

His laugh is highly contagious, very loud, and bright. Perhaps even theatrical, Cole compared it as a tease and Jay was aghast.

Jay, himself, gets embarrassed about his laughter but more so about his facial expressions. He cannot contain himself and thinks he looks utterly ridiculous.

Cole definitely flushes up at the mention of his own laugh or smile. He was criticized constantly when he was dancing or singing, visual arts and all that. He was not good at smiling on cue and didn't like his own smile anyways.

Thankfully, everyone reminds him just how sweet his half-grins are. Much to his embarrassment.

Zane does not find much to be embarrassed about with tickling, aside from his lack of experience.

He has tickle fights practically every day thanks to the rest of the ninjas. He usually comes out on top, in his own opinion. It's difficult to find weak spots on a body not made of flesh.

This does not stop his friends, and they find a few ticklish spots. They also find out he does, in fact, blush. Which they do not fail to point out, adding even more fluttery feelings in his stomach.

I stand by Jay having a very ticklish tummy, he cannot deal with many tickles there for long before he goes silent but squeaks between inhales.

He swears he just about perishes when Kai puts him into his lap, automatically arching his stomach into the tickles with no way to escape.

He didn't stop giggling for several minutes, and he spent the majority of that time plotting his revenge.

Jay is the only one able to use his elemental ability for tickles, only in small notches of course. His pokes are far more deadly for that reason, he can take down anyone in seconds.

Zane folds the quickest whenever he uses his lightning, probably to do with the fact that he's a robot. Jay loves messing with him and testing different tickle spots each and every time. Pretending his ticklishness has changed since yesterday! They must experiment further.

Jay and Zane seem like the tickler types to perform experiments on their victims. Zane will always count ribs no matter what, even making the ninja count themselves and not lose track. Or else they must start over...

Zane loves pinning people down, the reward is very satisfying. He gets to watch Kai's eyes widen in pure gleeful panic and his struggling renew, frantic to pull his arms down.

His teases are usually posed as questions. He likes to make them admit to their panic and happiness.

"What's so funny? I have done nothing and you are giggling."

Everyone falls for his questions, and Zane has the time of his life.

He has this signature look on his face, posing for innocence.

Quite similar to Jay who smiles very, very wide when he corners somebody.

Or even Cole who looks downright sinister with a big toothy grin.

Maybe even Kai who cracks his knuckles menacingly with that gleam in his eye.

Nya is very scary too, she knows the way to crack even the toughest of nuts. She's lived with Kai after all, and Kai is simultaneously proud and terrified.

If they even dare challenge her in the slightest, she doesn't hesitate to make them eat their words. She doesn't do countdowns.

Sneak attacks do not work on her either, she is a hard cookie to catch.

After everyone trains some more and gains their ultimate potential, that becomes a slightly harder feat for her to keep up.

Cole, Kai, and Jay refuse to admit they're ticklish. Nya and Zane have teamed up before.

Oh, tag-teaming is utterly mean. It's immediately known there is no escape, it's futile.

Cole can't stand it specifically because he's very stubborn, and holds in his laughter so as not to give them satisfaction.

When he lets out his first giggle, he's done for. He pounds the floor, literally causing an earthquake alone with how he claws the ground.

I think when Jay's completely wrecked, after being tickled, his hair stands up as though he was shocked.

Kai's blushing face can actually burn things. He learned this when he was pressed on his stomach, burying his face into the carpet and he heard sizzling among his giggles.

Jay does hide and seek while Cole does chases. Enough said.

Kidding. Jay loves playing hide and seek, as a hunter he's making jokes and teasing his victim before he gets his hands on them. In hopes to make them giggle and reveal themselves. Cole likes to give his victim hope of getting away before speeding up, scooping them into his arms, and spinning them around. They have tag-teamed like this before, and Kai couldn't stop blushing for hours.

When Lloyd joined the team and they all got used to him. The fun way to deal with his attitude was tickling.

Lloyd has had little to no affection his whole life, so to suddenly gain four brothers and a sister overnight was a lot.

They don't want to overwhelm him, so when he starts snapping back they know it's time to pick it up a notch.

He's a walking tickle spot, much to their delight. Any kind of scribble or poke rewards a yelp or squawk.

Lloyd is always one to curl in on himself at a moment's notice. When he starts training more he learns how to squirm away but usually, he defaults to trying to protect himself.

He hates the tickle monster bit, it flusters him so much he can't stand it. He also can't stand jokes while being tickled because he's already laughing.

Lloyd's still mentally figuring out his kid self when he's aged by the tea. The ninjas don't stop ruffling his hair or poking him.

But he can fight back and have more of a chance. He gets to use every single technique they've used on him, right back at them. It's too satisfying and he gets drunk with power. Practically going till they've had tears in their eyes.

The revenge is swift and devastatingly ticklish.

Baby talk kills him even more now because he should be a teen, he tries to imply. But no, Jay loves to coo over his red face and use a high-pitched voice to narrate his every squeak.

It ends with cuddles and check-ins. It usually does. No need to go too far. Lloyd is a sucker for a few gentle hair scratches.

Your honor. I'm very soft for them.

I have more thoughts but here are a lot of things about them!!

[queennai714]

Random hcs I have because I may be cringe but I'm free part 26 (Ninjago, again)

My Ninja singing hcs cuz I love music and singing and I think the sillies would too.

When it comes to Cole, there are only two ways the hc can go, either you think he's terrible, like in the oni trilogy, or he's a wonderful singer with a beautiful natural voice and the technique to match, who just doesn't know what to do with that stupid Gloworm song (I mean COME ON, he went to the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts ffs). I choose to believe in the latter. Whatever you choose he is still vastly better at dancing than singing.

Kai actually has a pretty great (and fittingly, very powerful) voice and he could be amazing if he ever decided to take actual lessons, but he couldn't care less. What he's interested in, and therefore weirdly good at, is distortion. Growls, vocal fry, screams, even just regular old belting, anything that would push anybody else's voice to its limits, he can do it all and does so willingly and extremely well. (Cole is lowkey jealous)

Jay can SING omg (when he's actually trying anyway). Jay's the kind of guy who has a wonderful (and surprisingly powerful) natural voice without any kind of lessons or training but if he isn't focusing on/into the song or doesn't really care abt how he sounds then it just sounds like talking/shouting. But when he's alone, or listening to smth he really likes, or deliberately trying to impress, bro sounds ANGELIC (Cole and Kai are BOTH jealous of this one(and this one kinda feeds into my Japanese Jay hc but my brain decided that when he's doing more hardcore stuff, he sounds like mafumafu))

Once again, this one was hard because Zane only ever sings with the help of some kind of nindroid shenanigans, so I dont have a lot to go off of but I'm happy with what I came up with so 🤷‍♀️. Anyway, Zane's normal speaking voice is really clear and smooth and slightly accented and wonderful and he has perfect understanding of music theory and all the technical aspects of making a voice sound pleasant and musical, and he sounds really good when he hums, and he's got the technique DOWN, but his voice just always sounds weird somehow, so whenever he wants to sing along to smth and sound a certain way while doing it, he'll just replace his own voice with the original vocalists or another generated voice that he thinks sounds good. He still has an absolute blast though.

It is a rare and I mean RARE occurrence to hear Lloyd sing and 99% of the time someone does manage to pick up his voice, he sounds slightly below average, even if he's actually putting in some effort for once. But that ultra rare 1%, when someone manages to overhear him late at night, almost silently raiding the cupboards for candy as he quietly sings the softest, sweetest, and most comforting melodies to ever be given lyrics, then he sounds pretty wonderful. Don't let that fool you though, it's his comfort zone for a reason.

Like her brother, Nya has a pretty awesome natural voice, but, also like her brother, she doesn't really care for "normal" singing. She tends to lean more towards rapping, usually resulting in her unconsciously putting more energy into rap segments than the rest of the song, and the rest of the team. However, she absolutely ADORES hearing the others sing, especially Jay "What? He just has a nice voice. It has absolutely nothing to do with our relationship, no way". Its like she can sense whenever Cole and Jay are having another random duet and she always manages to "coincidentally" appear before the song ends.

Pixal was originally programmed by Cyrus Borg to have a lovely, gentle, mother-like singing voice, and she definitely appreciates it (its surprisingly come in handy on quite a few missions) but she finds it just a little too different from her normal speaking voice for her to get totally into it. She usually prefers to stay away from vocals anyway, finding that she has more fun tapping her fingers or toes or even just making percussive mouth sounds to the rhythm of whatever's playing (and these days, she's kinda hesitant to even do that, ever since Zane accidentally let it slip that he thinks its "positively adorable")

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFX)

*an overdrive bar appears and lands in the middle, summoning the number 10*

FFX is by far the coolest setting for any RPG I have ever seen. It is so incredibly unique, I have not seen anything like it. Other cool things about it? It's the first FF that wasn't 100% composed by Uematsu! This is the mainline FF that brings in my man Masashi Hamauzu, who makes a Lot of really good songs here and later. There's also Junya Nakano, but I don't know his work as much cause he's not as much of an FF guy :(

When i was making this list, something I tried to avoid and failed, was exclusively battle themes. But alas, I love the battle themes in this game so much, that they all trump any overworld/event themes in my brain😭. Please give a look at the honorable mentions for some of those that I like (and more battle themes sorry).

5. Blitz Off! Sports are battles, right? A battle between athletes? I think it counts. I also want to say: I hate Blitzball. I do NOT want to be a Blitzball when I grow up. I do however, love this song. This was the only saving grace as I tried and failed (and eventually succeeded) to beat the Luca Goers so the Aurochs could get the trophy. It's a bop, I love the boops throughout the song cause it's like little waterdrops (water sphere), not to mention the fucking BASS on this shit. It's got a fun melody, and a lot of neat instruments (like the whole game has but I feel like I've made this point with every game since VII LMAO). I love how this song goes absolutely ham, and then Right before the loop, it gives you a little bit of a quieter droning jam.

4. Fight With Seymour First of all: Fuck Seymour. This stupid blue spiky hair having ass with his dumb eyebrows and his 20 boss fights and his "ohhhhh yuna ahhhhhhhh blehhhhh" (I love Seymour and by that I mean I love to hate him he's perfect). I had heard this song before playing X and I was so excited to hear it, only to discover THAT IT ONLY PLAYS IN THE FINAL FIGHT AGAINST HIM WHICH WASN'T EVEN THE HARDEST ONE (my hope absolutely did end there). ANYWAYS. His song fucks. This song is like the One Winged Angel of FFX, because it feels like a bunch of mini compositions were made first, and then they were all put together somehow masterfully. Every instrument is super cool sounding, and this song proves that the Trash Can Lid is the greatest cymbal you could ever ask for. The keyboard goes ham the entire way through, and I feel like I'm dancing at the club (this would be if I did hypothetically dance and also go to clubs).

3. Battle Theme Remember last list when I said it was a while before I used a normal battle theme? Isn't it awesome how I'm immediately breaking that pause even further? I feel like I'm going to keep saying this, but this song is a bop!!!! All of these songs are bops. I remember initially not really feeling the MIDI ass opening, but it has absolutely grown on me over time and now it's just iconic to me. I love when after the song takes a bit to get going, the melody gets louder with a bit of a synth organ backing it, not to mention when it slows down a bit (not like, tempo wise, but in instrumentation). For some reason, that section is in my brain is attached to switching out party members (my favorite mechanic of battle), so Auron saying "Let's go." is basically an extra bit of the song to me XD. Shoutouts to synthesizers and MIDI trumpets, we absolutely love you.

2. Otherworld This is just... a song. It's a straight up metal song in my Final Fantasy, something that I would hear on the radio growing up (not actually but can you imagine??). Hearing this towards the beginning of the game was already super cool, with the Blitzball match and seeing Auron look over the city (so cool....), but then you also have it as the final boss theme????? (I know it's not the final boss but like he's BASICALLY the final boss) That's even cooler. Catch me headbanging and singing along whenever it pops up. I love the guitar shredding, and the part of the lyrics where it backs off of the super deep growl to give a sort of spoken word section that sounds like it's coming through a radio.

1. A Contest of Aeons So far, this list has mainly been "this song is on here because it is a banger" and less emotional importance, which is strange, especially after the last list. A Contest of Aeons fulfills that requirement, at long last. This song takes the main prayer song/Hymn of the Fayth, and turns it into something worthy of being a grand finale. It also plays during one of the absolute coolest boss fights ever; all of your summons/aeons sacrificing themselves so you can finally break the endless cycle the world suffers, but it also hurts so much because they have carried you through the entire game and now they have to fall to your hand. I love the constant orchestra in the back, giving the song a tense, urgent feeling. My absolute favorite part is when the choir continues to raise with the addition of the tambourine, not to mention the part right after where it sounds like pyreflies are dancing around you.

Honorable mentions go to: Prelude, Movement in Green, Mi'ihen Highroad, Assault, A Fleeting Dream, and Challenge.

[vad-hander]

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

genre: series | idol!au | smut | angst | fluff | slow burn | unrequited love | friends to lovers (oops) | mutual pining | teenage to adults | idol!nct, idol!reader, teenage to adults (trainee days until today)

words: 20k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

-

Your mom always found it important to let everyone she talked to know how much you loved to dance, how much you enjoyed singing. She always found it important to not let that go away, always found it the biggest goal in her life to make you happy, to make you someone she could always be proud of. 

Since you were 3 your mom took you to music school and when you were 4 you got accepted to a dancing school. Shuffling singing, dancing and actual school when you were 8 made your life insanely difficult. Every day you went to bed you cried yourself to sleep after your mom gave you a good night kiss and turned the lights off. You just wanted to be like your school friends, you wanted to play at the playground after school with them, you wanted to spend time with that boy Soonyeon from your class that you liked, but the only thing you were doing after your last lesson was over was going to another school and then going back home. To do math homework you struggled with, to learn new melody on the piano for the end of semester show. 

You could not remember what it felt like when your neighbor suggested to ask your mom to take you to an audition to her work, when you were 14. Probably it was a very exhausting and tiring thought, you looked back at it. 

“You practically got scouted in front of your school, this is big luck. I’m glad we kept in touch with Yuri, I didn’t know she worked at SM Entertainment.” Your mom couldn’t stop herself talking even for a second placing dinner in front of you. 

“Where’s dad?” you chimed in getting a disappointed look from her. You shouldn’t interrupt her when she talks, you beat yourself suddenly. 

“He’s being late, now dig in.” she placed a bowl of rice in front of your face and you did it happily, munching on pork and rice. “This is a great opportunity, I always knew I’ll see you shine on stage, now it’s just the perfect time. All of the hard work I put in you will finally pay off.” 

“Mom, it’s still an audition, even if Mrs. Ong asked me to come, it’s an audition. I might not pass. I didn’t, two years ago at JYP, if you remember.” you sighed at the memory of not passing. 

“You worked hard, you lost weight and your face got prettier since back then, you’ll be just enough to get casted.”

“Mom!” you exclaimed feeling tired of her being this way. “Don’t.”

“It’s a good thing you got prettier, otherwise all of the work not only me, but you put in, would’ve gone to waste.”

“I don’t want to be prettier, I don’t want to lose weight, I don’t want to go to that stupid school to sing those stupid songs, I don’t want to dance to those songs they make me to. I just want to make friends, I want to be normal.” you jumped up from the table. 

“What else do you want?” she chuckled sarcastically at you making you furious. 

“I want to date that boy I always liked, I want to do everything my classmates do. Do you know that Hyejin has a boyfriend, she sleeps with him too? And me? I don’t know how to speak to guys because the only man I talked to was a 60 year old pervert who always caressed my thigh right next to my underwear whenever he helped me with stretching. I don’t want anything you’re making me do. Because of you I fucking hate singing and dancing, maybe I should’ve let that old bastard rape me so you’d get back to your senses?” 

“Watch your mouth, Y/n.” was all that you mom said. You threw chopsticks that you held on to tightly through your speech unconsciously, running up to your room. 

You were 14 and fucking hated every second of your life. 

“Y/n, sweetheart, it’s dad. Can I come in?” his soft knocks made your heart warm. You closed the book you were reading and called him to come in. “Hi baby, how are you doing?” he sat on your bed and extended his hand to caress your hair. 

“She already told you I’m a disgusting human and you’re here to tell me I’m grounded for a year?” you sighed and looked away. “As if it makes any difference, I’ve lived my entire life as if I’m grounded.” you chewed on your cheek. Silence that fell over your room wasn’t an awkward one, your relationship with your dad was always different. You always wondered how he ended up loving your mom, but then always came to conclusion she probably tricked him into this marriage, and to be fair, you wouldn’t be surprised if she actually did. 

“Come here.” his fingers tapped the bed right next to him, and you squeezed your body right next to his, hiding your face in his chest. “I know everything you feel, baby. I know you’re traumatised with your mom’s parenting style, and everything that happened due to that…” you heard him sigh and wondered if he thought about the time you told him about your weird dancing coach. “I always tell you that kids that aren’t allowed to do things usually are the most rebellious ones. And I know that you’re rebellious by nature, you’re my baby girl.” he chuckled and you couldn’t hold back a smile. 

“I am.” you mumbled quietly. 

“I don’t find it wrong that you want to spend your time with friends and boys in particular, I’d be happy you brought a boyfriend home one day.” you nodded, wondering where he leads this to. “But we both know, moms not going to let you drop everything. She never told you this, right? It was her dream, she spent her entire childhood trying to get in one of the entertainments, everyone refused her, and then there’s you. She put in so much work since the day you were born. She thought through her plan for your life the first week she found out you’ll come to our lifes. Please forgive her, she just lost her senses when you got scouted by JYP.” 

“They just asked me to come to an audition, refused me too. I feel like she lost her senses when I was around 4.” he chuckled and pulled you closer. 

“Maybe, but it gave her hope that everything wasn’t worthless. That she put in work in you that will pay off. More importantly, you put in so much work, nerves and your entire life to get in. If you put aside your mom, don’t you love to dance, sing, doesn’t it make you happy when you come up with melodies on your piano?”

“It makes me happy when I see your proud eyes at the result of my work. It makes me happy when you sit down with me at the piano and come up with melodies too. You’re the one that helps me to get through difficult days, I don’t know what I’d do without you dad.” 

“Oh, baby, I didn’t expect you to say something like this.” you giggled and raised your head to look at him. 

“Let’s pretend that I said something you expected.” you leaned back “What would you reply?” 

“I was thinking you’d say you like all that you do and I’ll tell you that going to that audition will most likely help you to get out of the cage you’re in. If you’ll pass, another life is going to be right before you. I know for sure you’ll love it. No mom, no music and dance school. You’ll meet people your age, no matter what the outcome is you’ll get extraordinary experience. I usually don’t ask you to do things but I’m asking you to go there. I’m asking you to go not with the same intentions as your mom, I’m asking you to go because I believe in my baby. Your dad caressed your hair and looked you in the eyes. 

“Okay… I’ll go.” You nodded after giving the thought a few minutes. “But take me there, come with me, not her.” 

“Of course, I’ll come if it’ll make you feel better.” 

“Thanks dad.” you wrapped your hands around his neck “I love you.” 

“I love you too baby. Any ideas with what you’re going to audition?”

“Hm, I’ll think that through.” you chuckled. 

-

“Do you want me to come in with you or is it too embarrassing to come to an audition with your dad?” 

“It’s not.” you smiled shyly “but I’d appreciate you not coming.” he chuckled and nodded understandingly. 

“I’ll park my car over the corner and will wait for you at the cafe across the street, okay? Call me if you won’t see me.”

“Okay, dad.” you bobbed your head and undid your seatbelt. “I’ll go.” you smiled.

“No matter what happens, I love you and trust in you.”

“Thank you, dad.” you forced a wider smile and leaned in for a hug. 

“Good luck.” you could feel him watch as you ran into the building. 

“Excuse me, which floor are auditions?” you asked the security guard at the entrance and he led you quickly to the elevators, pressing the fifth floor for you. 

“One of the scouts will meet you at the floor, good luck!” you nodded and gulped while the door was closing. 

“Don’t worry, Y/n, it’s fine. You’ll either kill it or embarrass yourself, both are experience, it’s fine.” you squeezed your fists and stared at your reflection in the elevators door. 

“Y/n, hi!”

“Mrs. Ong, you’re here?”

“Of course, I scouted most of the boys and girls in here today.” you pursed your lips, looking around “Sit down there, I’ll call for you later. And, good luck, Y/n.” 

“Thank you!” you sat down onto the free seat next to a boy around your age. 

“You’re here for the audition?” 

“Of course.” you turned to look at him. “Why else would I be here?” 

“To support someone maybe.” he chuckled and ran his eyes quickly from you onto the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m nervous and talk silly.”

“It’s your first time?” 

“You mean the audition?”

“Well obviously, not like I’m asking you if it’s your first time talking.” you chuckled and he looked you in the eyes shyly. 

“Yeah, it is. It’s not yours I assume?” 

“I had one before, not much experience.” 

“Still more than none, I guess that’s why you’re talkative.” he played with his fingers nervously. 

“That’s my coping mechanism. I’m scared shitless. If I’m passing I’ll hopefully be happy and if I’m not… well, mom’s going to eat my brains out.” pursing your lips your eyes met his. 

“You’re very pretty, and outgoing it seems, I’m sure they’ll like you.”

“Thanks, but talent is what matters. I don’t want to be a pretty doll, I want to be someone worth it. Worth time put in to train me and worth the time of people that could possibly watch me on stage one day.” 

“You’re… you’re unique. With the way you’re thinking. Everyone just want to get in here no matter what but you’re different, it’s nice of you to think about things like that.” he smiled. “I’m Jaehyun, by the way.”

“I’m Y/n.” you gave him your hand to shake. “How old are you?”

“15.” you nodded and looked away. “And you?”

“14.” 

“You look much younger.” 

“You mean childish?” 

“No, I mean you look… pure?” he chuckled. 

“Maybe I am pure and this is my chance to unwind.” you played with your eyebrows and looked at him expecting his answer. 

“Y/n, come with me, it’s your turn.” suddenly Mrs. Ong’s voice made you turn your attention to her and stand up quickly. “I trust in you.” she smiled at you and lead to the door. 

“Good luck.” Jaehyun spoke when you stood up. “Hope to see you next time as trainees.” 

“Right back at you.” you smiled and paced behind Mrs. Ong. 

-

“Text me every day before you go to bed. Don’t forget to keep the diet, train not less than 2 hours a day.” your mom spoke monotonously, putting the shirts, that you purposefully left in your closet, into the suitcase. “Don’t talk to boys and focus on work. Do everything they want you to do, don’t talk back and be the good girl you always were.” 

‘Don’t talk back at her. Two hours. Just two hours before freedom comes.’ you repeated a mantra in your head.‘Keep quiet and nod.’ 

“You hear me, Y/n? Keep away from boys, they’re not good in general and especially when they’re at the dorm all alone with you.” 

“We’re going to live on different floors, mom.” 

“Still, we should have a conversation about… sex.” you rolled your eyes and held back a smirk. 

“What you want to tell me about it? Details?” 

“Y/n! I’m not going to let you leave.” 

“Why? No worries mom, if I’m getting a boyfriend, I’m going to let you know about it fourth.”

“Fourth!?!” she exclaimed loudly. 

“Me, him, dad and then you.” you forced a sarcastic smile.

“You’re definitely not going anywhere.” 

“Honey, please, let’s be supportive. Our daughter’s leaving to Seoul for god knows how many years.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” she nodded quickly. It always surprised you how the tone of her voice changed when she spoke to him. Could she possibly love him more than you? 

“I trust you with anything you’ll decide to do. I know you’re responsible and I know you would never make mistakes or anything that I’ll disapprove of.” he pecked your forehead and looked at you “Just during your award speech don’t forget to thank me, okay? Something like ‘I’d like to thank my dad who always took my side’. Okay?” 

“Of course, dad, I’ll call you every day, okay?” you bit onto your lower lip to prevent from crying. “I love you.” you sobbed into his shoulder. 

“I love you too, baby. I’m going to take your luggage into the car.” his hands let go of you and you watched him disappear behind the door. You walked around the room, staring at every corner of it to keep something in your memories. 

“Y/n, I beg you, condoms.” you chocked on air, walking closer to the woman you called your mom. 

“Are you possessed?” you chuckled and stood right in front of her. “I’m going to miss you, no matter what.” you smiled and pulled her in a hug, wrapping your hands around her shoulders. 

“Good luck.” she sighed and broke off the hug. “Now go, no tears, it’ll make your eyes puffy when you’ll arrive.”

“Okay.” you nodded and left the house. 

-

“This is your room, you’re going to share it with another girl. She’s not here yet. This floor is girls floor. You’re lucky there’s not that many girls, the guys have four people in a room.” you nodded and sat down on the bed. “The rules are as simple as ever. Singing and dancing practices are 6 days a week, multiple variations of lessons are going to be suggested to you next week at the general meeting. Your school transfer papers are ready so you’re all good to go to Seoul’s School of Performing Arts. Wednesday’s are your day offs from practicing. Try to study properly, if you’re going to debut we’ll help you with school. We’ll provide the floor with nanny that’ll cook for you, any other food is prohibited. Your phone is going to be taken from you to completely concentrate on work. You can always come up to your manager if you need to call your parents. No late night outings or anything like that, all of you will be looked after carefully. First of all, almost everyone here are minors, second of all it’s about discipline. If you work hard it’ll pay off with rewards and debuting too. Good luck and take a good rest, you have busy days ahead. Okay?”

“Okay.” you nodded. “I love it here.” you smiled widely. 

“Good to know. Don’t feel too lonely, some girls are coming within the week. Three floors lower is boys dorm. You can get to know them for the meantime.”

“I’ll take some rest.” you smiled and felt nervous at a single thought of going to boys floor all on your own. 

“For everyone to feel more or less at home, for upcoming two weeks we’re planning dinners for everyone to attend. At 6 today the manager will pick you up to meet everyone either way.” she smiled and turned on her heels to leave you on your own. 

-

“I heard there’s only one girl at the dorms yet.” a guys voice made your heart stop. 

“I wonder what she’s like.” The other one replied.

“Maybe not too young.”

“Hopefully.” the voices of the boys made it seem as if they were not much older than you. They laughed hysterically at whatever was said afterwards.

“Worth a shot or not.” someone giggled.  

“Shut up, you nasty dickheads.” you hit one guy with your shoulder, walking past them blindly. 

There were not more than 10 boys in the hall of the building and they all walked behind you when the manager signalled to follow her. You walked into the bus first, sitting down onto the seat that seemed to you the most attractive. 

“Walk past.” you could see a guy trying to sit down with you in the reflection of the window. 

“I’m… ugh, I’m not one of the guys who talked about you. I’m… Jaehyun.” his voice made you confused and you turned around immediately to take a look at him. “Do you remember me? The guy with dumb questions at the audition.” he smiled sincerely and you chuckled. 

“Jaehyun, I remember.” you smiled. 

“Nice knowing you passed.”

“Are we competitors now or what?” you made a low giggle and squinted your eyes. 

“I’m not sure we’re bound to fight for one spot. I’m sure you and me are designated to different gender groups.” 

“Okay, you can sit with me then.” you tapped the chair and he lowered his body next to you and stared at the window once again. 

“I came two days before you. They’re nice, just hormonal… like everyone here, I guess.” he giggled but stopped quickly seeing you unamused. “I mean it, everyone’s just goofy because practicing didn’t start yet for neither of us. Don’t take it too seriously.”

“I don’t care, it’s whatever. Why do you care?” you turned your head to look him in the eyes. 

“Because you’re the person I know the longest out of everyone here.”

“Weak convincing skills you have.” you chuckled annoyed and looked away. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you can just tell me if they sent you for whatever. I’ll get it, I had friends at school who hung out with older guys. They told me what boys are like.” 

“Oh, no, no. I’m not sent, no girls are here yet, I feel obliged to keep you company.” 

“Thank you, Jaehyun.” you smiled and he lit up visibly. 

-

“I wish with all the advances they give us they’d hire people to carry us home after exhausting practicing days too.” Seulgi laughed at your comment and laid her back next to you. “I mean, I had school today and speech class and then vocal lessons for 3 hours and now we’re here. I’m not able to lift myself up from this floor.“

“We have to stand up and get back or we’ll get a strike for coming back home later than allowed.” Irene sighed and sat up next to Lami.

“Girls, hold up, boys manager will come in a minute.”

“Why?”

“No clue.” your coach Chaerin shrugged and waved goodbye at all of you. “Bye.” 

“It’s kind of weird. They usually never want us to cross paths.” 

“Maybe they’re debuting?” All of you looked at Seulgi. 

“That’s not possible.” You shook your head in disbelief, concentrating at one imperfect floor square in the room.

“Hi, everyone.” you raised your head to see the manager lead in the boys like little chicks. You chuckled to yourself at the thought and smiled widely the second you noticed Jaehyun. “Everyone please take a seat.” 

“Hi.” he whispered and bumped shoulders with you on accident while sitting down. 

“You know why we’re all here?” you whispered into his ear and he shrugged not knowing. 

“Okay y’all. All of you here are lucky enough to be picked out as first introduced SM Rookies.” you could hear excited noises all over the room. “I’m going to name your names to make it more official: Irene, Seulgi, Lami, Y/n, Taeyong, Ten, Jaehyun, Mark, Yuta, Jeno, Jisung, Hansol, Johnny and …” she paused and glued all of your attention to her. “And Johnny, yeah, that’s it.” she nodded and raised your head at all of you. “All of you are going to be introduced to the public through the month of December.” 

“December?” boys behind you sighed loudly and you turned around to look at them. 

“Wait, who’s that? I don’t know them. Yuta, Jeno and Jisung never heard those names before.” you leaned in closer to Jaehyun and he gladly moved closer to you. 

“They’ve been here for at least two months or so. Someone’s been really busy to not even notice new people.” he teased and you elbowed him. 

“December is so soon.” Lami said out loud and had everyone’s attention on her. 

“Oh, my bad.” the manager coughed and ran her eyes over the room. “December of next year. You have over a year to become perfect in every way possible. Please consider the fact final list can be changed due to many reasons. And more importantly, this doesn’t guarantee your debut.”

“How come?” Johnny sighed out loud. 

“You’re only going to be introduced as SM Rookies member, not more than that.” 

“It’s still cool.” Seulgi told him quickly and looked away. 

“I doubt it’s cool for Johnny, he’s been training since forever.“ Jaehyun whispered into your ear quickly.

“I hope for your cooperation guys’, don’t share this information with the rest of trainees yet. We’ll announce it to them later on. Even though I just told you it doesn’t mean you’ll debut, it really is a big step, so I hope you all will work hard. Good luck and as a bonus, all of you are allowed to come back to the dorms at midnight tonight. Come downstairs, there’s a small party organised for you.” she smiled and moved her head in her usual movement that signalled that she was done. 

“Can’t we go back home and change clothes? I’d like to look nice for a party.” Lami made everyone chuckle and then disappointed when the manager shook her head no and all you 13 very sweaty but very happy teenagers moved your tired bodies in direction of the first floor. 

“Don’t obsess over him.” Irene’s hand laid over your shoulder quickly. 

“Over who?” you raised a brow at her. 

“Jaehyun. He’s a nice guy I agree but I can tell you have a crush on him and he totally doesn’t.”

“What makes you think I have a crush on anyone? We’re friends, and actually, we’re friends only because he spoke to me first.”

“I’m just saying this because…” 

“Because you’re old and experienced?” 

“Oh, shut up.” she chuckled and pinched your shoulder. “It’s because we really have no time now to cry over broken hearts.” 

“I know, I never had time to cry over broken hearts.” 

“I’m sorry.” she caressed you quickly. 

“No need, even thought we’re all busy, I’m still happier than at home and have more spare time than at home. Everyone here are working for the same goal as me, so I’m only happy to be around people who understand.” 

“Just please, consider my words.” 

“He’s a friend, a friend who happens to be a boy, no more than that, okay?” you hugged her with your arm over the waist and the both of you entered the practice room on the first floor that was turned into a party space. 

“But how come you never saw them before…?” Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere behind your back when you stood silently staring at new boys. 

“Got my eyes set on you only?” you chuckled and regretted saying something like that, maybe it’s a bit too much you thought the next moment. 

“Same goes for me.” he chuckled and put his hand over your shoulder. 

“I was kidding.” you rolled your eyes and looked at him to see his face. 

“I know, I think in the past six months I learned to sense that. I was just playing along you loser.” you chuckled and looked at him. 

“Sometimes I think I’m all grown up and practically old, but then I look at Irene, or even Seulgi, Johnny, Taeyong and realise that we’re probably little kids in their eyes…”

“We’re probably old in Jisung’s eyes though.” his high-pitched chuckle made you smile

“How old is he?” 

“10.”

“What?” you choked on your coke. 

“Everyone were surprised when they found out.” 

“Hi.” you looked around and found one of the guys you haven’t met yet next to you. “I’m Yuta. My korean bad, sorry.”

“Hi, I’m Y/n, if you want to, we can speak in English?” 

“Okay.” he nodded and extended his hand to shake yours. “I believe you’re pretty.” he continued to speak korean. 

“It’s nice of you to say that.” you smiled shyly and pressed your body against Jaehyun’s. “I’m surprised we haven’t talked before. When did you come here?”

“I study korean for 6 months now. I come to Korea 2 months ago. I win SM competition in Japan.” you gave him a smile. 

“You’re really good already, you’ll probably beat me soon if you’ll continue studying.” 

“I need more korean friends.” he smiled “I have to be perfect in December.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfect.” you bowed at him lightly and excused yourself. 

-

“Are you okay?” A guy sat down in front of you when he noticed you cry. You hid your face in hair, sitting in the corner of the practice room alone. “Difficult day?” his hand caressed your shoulder and you raised your head to look at him. 

“No, I’m fine.” you shook your head a no and hoped it’ll be enough to make him leave but he didn’t move. 

“Someone who’s fine isn’t crying on the couch in the corner of a practice room like that.” you stared at him in disbelief.

“Your korean is insane.” you said amazed “i can’t wrap my head around how quickly you learned it” you laughed suddenly, thinking of what you said to him almost a year ago. “Didn’t I say you’d get better than me.” 

“You’re joking, it’s a good sign.” he smiled at you sweetly. “And you’re literally saying this to me every time I talk to you.” he chuckled shyly “Half a year left, didn’t I say I have to be perfect.” you nodded and wiped the tears off your cheek. “Tell me what happened? We were told to look after our younger trainees, you basically have to tell me what’s up.” he hit his shoulder with yours to push the truth out of you. 

“It was my birthday last week.” 

“I know, we threw you a small party, didn’t you like it? I thought Wendy said you’ll love everything she prepared for your birthday?” 

“It’s not the party.” you sobbed “Its the outcome. Our manager, she said I’m fat, she said it’s because I had too much food and I should never eat ever again even if it’s my last day in earth. She said she’ll ask nanny to not cook for me and she’ll check my weight herself every day. If I won’t lose it in a month she’ll get rid of me in no time.” 

“She probably joked, maybe she was in bad mood and you got under her hand.” Yuta wiped the tear on your chin and you flinched at the touch. 

“No, she was serious for sure. She dragged me to check my weight for the past three days, the only thing I ate was water and one small seaweed piece and it’s only different to hundred grams. She just said I’m useless and she’s probably right. Maybe I should leave company.”

“What? No, no, no. You were born to be here if someone needs to go then it’s her.” 

“Thank you for listening.” you stood up “I should get back home before I get a strike or something.” 

“Let’s go together.” he invited and you had no reason to decline. 

“She got especially mad because I fainted…” you whispered when the both of you walked slowly to the dorms. 

“What?” 

“We practiced the dance for 7 hours straight and I don’t know… I just felt dizzy and then fell. Irene said I dropped dead and she thought I died of heart attack or something. Chaerin called for help and everyone was scared and only our manager shouted at me for being an attention sicker, for being weak. I’m just not used to not eating, I’ll get used to it and then it’ll be okay, I’ll be fine with water only.” you smiled at him and kept on walking when he stopped. “What’s up?” you turned around to face him. 

“That’s not normal.” 

“Huh?” 

“What she wants from you is not normal. You’re beautiful, there’s no way she thinks you have weight to lose. She’s probably bullying you on purpose.” 

“Why would she do that?” 

“Because everyone likes you, people are here to support you, she doesn’t want that, she doesn’t need favourite’s in here.”

“I’m sure it’s not like that.” you shook your head in disbelief. 

“Come on.” he extended his hand to you and you took a minute to grab onto it unsure. “There’s street food on the way to the dorms.” he finally said couple of minutes after dragging you behind him. 

“I don’t want to.” you tried to stop on your heels but it seemed useless since Yuta didn’t even turn around to look at you. “Yuta, please.” you whined when you could see ajummas with food in a short distance. “I’m going to get in trouble, so much trouble, please don’t.” you were debating whether shedding tears right now was a great idea. 

“Two corn dogs and teokbboki, please.” he smiled at the lady and gave her money. You couldn’t work out where he had money from. His eyes ran over you and your face expression probably terrified him. “It’s food, not poison, just eat once with me, please?” Yuta leaned in and hugged you over the shoulders. “I won’t tell anyone and it won’t affect anything, tomorrow is our day off, isn’t it? We can go to a  hike and walk it all off, okay?” he smiled at you reassuringly and you knew you’ll look like a fool if you’ll refuse. 

“Okay.” you nodded and watched him take the food. “I have school tomorrow though.” 

“After school, I’m sure it’ll be okay if we’ll go after you finish.” 

“Yeah” you smiled with your lips drawing a thin line. 

“Now eat.” he pulled you towards a bench at the park you walked through on your way home and you sat down happily, feeling more than tired from all the practicing. Yuta took a corn dog out of the bag placing it in front of your mouth. Your hands raised automatically to take it from him but his hand pulled away, not allowing you to. 

“Bite.” he said quickly and you laid your fingers on your thighs, extending your neck to take a bite. He smiled proudly at you when you chewed and took a bite himself. “Are you from Seoul?”

“No, Ilsan. My parents live there, but I was actually born in Jeju.”

“Island girl.” he smiled and you shivered unknowingly. “I’m from a small town in Osaka.” He sighed and cicadas deafened the silence between you. 

“We never actually spoke properly.” you said suddenly. 

“I know, you’re usually with girls or Jaehyun…” he took a visible breathe in. “You two are dating, right? Did you tell him our manager bullies you?”

“Oh, no.” you laughed loudly. “We’re not. He’s the guy I met at my audition and he spoke to me when we became trainees because I was the only girl for a couple of days and he felt bad. We just kept on talking to each other, but we aren’t anything besides that…” 

“Oh, I’m sorry for saying this.” he widened his eyes and took another bite of the corn dog. “Finish this one.” you munched onto the corn dog while he looked you in the eyes quietly. “You’re just pretty, I thought Jaehyun took you the second he had the opportunity. Don’t think anything, it’s just a thought.” He chuckled noticing you look at him confused.

“Okay.” you nodded “He had no opportunities though.” you chuckled, finishing the food Yuta gave you. 

“How come?” 

“I’m fifteen and clueless to it all, let’s put it this way. Maybe it’s for the best actually, the less you think of being liked by anyone, liking someone and things like that, they’re taking so much energy, I don’t know how to cope with these things.”

“You’re silly.” he extended a rice cake on a toothpick to you and you sucked it into your mouth with a loud pop. “Still breathtaking though.” he said almost inaudibly. 

“Huh?” you looked at him confused but instead of repeating himself he forced you to chew on another rice cake. 

“So you never dated anyone?” 

“No.” you chewed and forced him to give you another rice cake. “Why are you so into this topic?” 

“I’m just trying to keep up the conversation.” he chuckled. 

“And did you? Date someone?” you thought your question through again and quickly stopped chewing. “You’re 19 this year and a football player, I’m sure you did. Let’s ask the question the other way, have you dated someone since you came to Korea?” 

“No.” he smirked at you for a long time. 

“Why?” you picked a rice cake by navigating Yuta’s hand and placed it in your mouth. “I kind of feel bad for all of you, there’s over 20 young men in one dorm, I’m sure y’all are in need of personal space and many more things and they’re not giving you any of it.” 

“Aren’t you in the same situation?” his fingers pushed the hair that got into your mouth to the back. 

“There’s only 8 of us and we’re girls.” 

“What’s is that supposed to mean? You don’t need personal space?” he chuckled and took a couple of rice cakes into his mouth. 

“How many times did you see your neighbours jerk off in secret?” you turned to face him properly noticing how he grinned like an idiot at you. 

“Quite a few.”

“See, and I never did because we’re not obsessed with something like this. That’s why I feel bad for you boys.”

“What’s your solution?” he looked amused by your words but you didn’t care about it. 

“Stop being filthy animals?” you chuckled and he laughed out loud. “Irene always says to not expose too much skin or hormonal boys from three floors under will rub their palms to blood at night.” he laughed so hard you had to take the food from his lap in case he gets it all over himself. 

“She’s quite a handful.” 

“She tells me to not talk to any of you.”

“Because she sees you’re beautiful and naive.”

“But all of you are practical losers, I mean… none of you hold any kind of danger towards any of us. I mean, the biggest harm you could make is jerk off to images of us if you have enough fantasy.” 

“You’re funny, I like you.” he smiled at you heartwarmingly. 

“You’re nice company, I like you too.” 

“I’m glad to hear it.” he leaned closer and pulled back all in a span of a second. 

“I think it’s better we go, I feel like it’s pretty late.” he agreed and stood up next to you, walking in a slow pace a step behind. “You know what I think of sometimes? When we’ll debut, or more likely if, we debut, what would our lifes be like? Will we be able to be with people who we love? Have kids? Or is it going to be all work until the day we die? I can’t help but wonder if everything we’re trying to reach so hard is a curse or a blessing?”

“Maybe it’s both.” 

“God, please, if debuting is a blessing, allow me to date Oh Sehun from EXO, god please, I’m not asking for much, just a handsome boyfriend like him to be mine.” you stretched your arms out and raised your head up to the sky, and asked loudly. Yuta stood beside you laughing. 

“You’re still a small silly child.” his hand pulled you by the shoulder towards the dorm. 

“God, please remember, Oh Sehun.” you laid your palms together and finally looked back down to walk. 

“Isn’t he like old.” 

“He’s maybe 20.” you nodded. “I don’t think I’ll debut any time soon so maybe I’ll be of age just in time.” Yuta chuckled again and the both of you got home in a great mood. 

-

“Y/n, hey.“ you raised your head when Yuta’s familiar voice called you. “Come here.“ He gestured with his hand vigorously, attracting attention from Lami and Irene that you sat next to. 

“What he wants?“ Irene squinted her eyes at you quickly. 

“How could I know, it’s not written on his forehead.“ you chuckled and crawled towards him, Johnny and Jaehyun on all fours, feeling too tired to stand up. “What?“ you spoke smiling, when you raised your head and found all of them smiling at you. “What happened?“ You cleared your throat and sat between Johnny and Yuta, crossing your legs. 

“That was just funny way of walking.“ Johnny chuckled and looked at Yuta.

“Is everything okay?“ You turned your head to look at Yuta while he was talking. 

“Yeah, why?“ you looked at him confused and hoped your face expression would let him know you didn’t want to talk about anything you told him last month in front of these guys. 

“You ate lunch, right?“ Your eyes ran around the room to avoid his concerned gaze, your head bobbing positively in reply. 

“Why are you asking? I’m always having all of my meals.“ you smiled at him with the sincerest smile you could give him and looked at Jaehyun. “Does he ask you the same things?“ 

“Me?“ Jaehyun chuckled at you amused. 

“I was just hoping I’m not the one he wants to nag on, I guess I’m wrong then.“ You sighed and stretched your arm out to Jaehyun. “Want to walk home together?“ His fingers held you tightly, giving you support to stand up.

“Yeah, I’m almost done for today. Johnny, didn’t you want to go ask our manager about home leave?“ 

“Yeah, let’s do this now.“ Johnny jumped up quickly and Jaehyun did too. 

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay?“

“Okay.“ You nodded satisfied at him and watched Jaehyun get up and leave. When the door behind Johnny closed you didn’t dare to move your eyes to Yuta, feeling how he kept his face directed at you, probably burning a whole in your face with his eyes.

“I’m not surprised.“ He said suddenly and stretched out his legs, finding balance with his palms against the floor behind his back. 

“What is that supposed to mean?“ You turned to face him.

“Don’t act all proud when it’s unnecessary.“

“Maybe I am eating, maybe I am not, how do you know? Don’t act like you know everything about me just because you saw me upset once.“

“Dodge Jaehyun.“ 

“What?“ You chuckled at his proposal. “Arrogant.“

“I meant dodge Jaehyun and I’ll get you food if we’ll get back home together.“ Yuta switched his sitting pose, trying to reach out for your hand. 

“What is the under text?“ 

“I don’t want you to die or get sick, is that enough for one?“

“I’m eating, stop. Focus your brain on something else. It’s sweet of you and all that, but I don’t need anyone to baby me.“ You shook your head and looked away, moving your body a few centimetres form him. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.“ He sighed and reached out for your hand. 

“Don’t.“ Irene’s voice hovered over your head and punched Yuta. Metaphorically, of course. “If she doesn’t want you then it’s time to grow brain to accept it.“ 

“I’m not trying to make her want me, she’s just…“ Yuta sounded sarcastic and you knew that this was a crucial mistake. 

“Then don’t reach out to her when she visibly moves away.“ You couldn’t understand why she got all worked up.

“She’s not under your control…“ you find it kinda funny how Irene didn’t let Yuta finish a single sentence, always chiming in half way. 

“She’s not under your control either! Think if you’ve been beating around the bush for a while you’re allowed to do anything?“

“What the fuck are you talking?“ Yuta looked furious, standing up and the urge to laugh inside of you faded away.

“You two, please stop.“ You stood up too to attract their attention more. “It’s a misunderstanding.“

“So you want him?“

“What?!?“you exclaimed. “Irene stop thinking every person who I talk to is somehow romantically involved with me. Just stop, I’m serious. I don’t you babying me, it’s embarrassing, when you do that. We were having a conversation, not related to being attracted to each other in whatever way. Why are you always keeping an eye on me? Are you obsessed? And you?“ You turned around to face Yuta. “You think I need your help? Advice? Support? No! You all just have a sick obsession of babying me and it’s not fine at all, go get a child together and take care of it, if the two of you are so focused on it!“ You turned your face to the door when you could hear Jaehyun’s laughter, running towards him quickly, catching him right at the entrance of the room. “Let’s go home, now, okay?“ His eyes ran over the room confused and returned to your teary ones. 

“Sure, let’s go.“ He nodded quickly and took your palm in his in reassurance. “What happened?“ Jaehyun asked in a while, after your fingers slip out of his. 

“You’re the closest person out of all of them for me.“ You granted him a shy smile. “What you think of me?“

“You’re the closest person out of all of them for me too.“ 

“It’s not what I meant.“ You shook your head and looked at your shoes.

“Oh, I’m sorry, what did you mean?“

“I think it’s better if I leave. I want to leave.“ You met Jaehyun’s eyes after a long pause.

“It’s not far, let’s just walk quickly.“

“I mean leave company.“

“What?“ He stopped on his heels. “Because of Irene and Yuta?“ 

“It’s too much stress, I don’t think I should be here, maybe I’m taking someone’s place.“

“I’m sure you don’t, they chose you. Weren’t you named trainee of the month like 6 times?“

“Seven.“ You corrected him quietly, forcing a low giggle out of him. 

“See, that never happened to me and I’m not dropping everything I’ve already achieved.“

“It’s because there’s only 8 girls and over 20 guys, competition is harder.“

“Don’t say that about your achievements.“

“Jaehyun…“ you shook your head. “Go back to the dorms.“

“No chance I’m going there without you.“ 

“I’m just going to walk around the city a little, I promise I’ll come back.“ You rubbed his arm reassuringly. 

“You say I’m the closest person for you and don’t even invite me… I’m offended.“ He shook his head and made a hurt face expression on his face.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.“

“I’m not going to let you get in trouble alone.“ 

“Stubborn.“ You smiled at his persistence. 

“Learned it from you.“ 

“Let’s go.“ You grabbed his palm and pulled him to go with you. 

“Where to?“ he asked excitedly and you chuckled at him.

“Dorms. If we’re going to sneak away like that, we’ll totally get busted.“ You sighed loudly hearing Jaehyun laugh behind you. 

-

“Did you…“ you cleared your throat and it gave Yuta time to turn around to face you “Did you get your ticket home yet…?“ He looked at you confused and you didn’t blame him. Not a single sigh towards him in almost a month and there you are talking to him all of a sudden all by yourself. 

“Why?“ 

“I… I thought you’re leaving…“

“Why does it matter even if I am?“ He squinted his eyes at you and you felt hurt, but moreover you felt like you deserved it. 

“I just thought you’re going to fly back home, I thought you’re hyped about it, that’s it…“ he looked at you with no emotion and continued to eat his rice. “I wanted to say I’m sorry earlier, but I was scared you’ll refuse me… You were just kind towards me and I’m an ungrateful bitch.“ You perched your lips when Yuta took a glance at you. “I never had friends, I don’t know how to take their kindness… my only friend in the past 14 years was my dad, because my mom constantly terrorised me to everything she couldn’t do in her life. I only made friends when I came here. You, and Irene too, just worried too much, I know. I’m sorry…“ you sighed and looked at your knees. Yuta kept on eating his rice with spam as if you were non-existent. “Can a have a bite?“ You caught his attention when he raised a piece of spam to his mouth. “You heard me, I saw you flinch. Now feed me.“ You moved closer to his body, pressing your thigh against his and opened your mouth with a sound as if you had your throat checked up. He turned his head to the side and bit onto his lip not being able to hold back a smile. The next second you were chewing onto the meat. “Rice too.“ He snorted at you but placed the spoon in your mouth regardless. 

“Why didn’t you leave?“ The sound of his voice in an empty kitchen made you shiver. It was too long since you heard him talk and you couldn’t hold back a smile when you heard his voice. 

“You’re saying all of the boys left?“ You turned to look at him excitedly. 

“I said nothing like that.“

“Oh, maybe it’s Jaehyun who told me.“ You stole Yuta’s chopsticks that he laid on the table and munched onto his food quietly. 

“Did all the girls leave?“

“No, Wendy’s here.“

“Oh, okay.“ He nodded “Everyone else left, you’re right.“ he inhaled and looked at your mischievous smile. 

“It feels like we’re in Harry Potter and everyone left for the Christmas break and we’re the only ones left because I have nowhere to go and your family went away.“ Yuta laughed at you. “It’s actually fun, except for the fact its autumn and they only let us leave because it’s possibly our last chance to breathe in fresh air as simple humans.“ 

“My flight is tomorrow night, you should go back home too. Isn’t Ilsan near Seoul?“

“It is, but I don’t want to.“ You looked away from him. 

“You told me your dad’s…“ you interrupted him the moment you got an idea.

“Hey! We’re all alone in a gigantic apartment. We can do literally anything. Let’s do something nasty.“ You made a movement with your hands all the villains did in movies, thinking of what possibly you could be doing.

“What is nasty in your opinion?“ Yuta’s eyes ran over your face.

“Show me Jaehyun’s room.“ his laughter was probably heard by Wendy three floors above you.

“Why?“

“I’m going to leave a note on his bed that he’s a stinky poo.“ 

“Very nasty of you.“ He shook his head as if he agreed but you knew for sure he faked it. “Maybe it’s better we watch something and call it a day.“ His fingers took the chopsticks from you. 

“Show me your room then?“ You asked mindlessly. 

“Oh no, it’s my private space.“

“Yeah private space of you and three more guys.“ Your feet made you stand up quicker than your brain worked. “To the left or to the right?“ You asked and looked for his reaction but he didn’t give you any. “Okay, I’ll start from the left. I’ll have to inspect all the rooms to see which one is yours.“ You wiggled your eyebrows and moved in direction of the first door. 

“And how are you going to find out which room is mine?“ his laughter confused you, you wondered if you randomly found out which was his on the first try. 

“The pillow always smell like its owner.“ you opened the door quickly and felt weird. Maybe it is wrong to go over all of their rooms while they’re obscene. 

“How exciting it must be to smell over 20 pillows, huh?“ You turned your head around at him and chuckled. “Don’t be surprised if there’ll be a weird rumour about you later on.“ 

“I have a feeling I’m in your room, you’re too nervous.“ You turned around when you could hear him approach. He leaned onto the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Is that your bed, should I start my inspection?“ You wiggled your nose at him and turned away to look for signs. You bent to see maybe on the wall next to the lower bed they had something stuck on the wall or something, but there was no sign at all. Your heart dropped to your feet, when you felt Yuta bump into you and grab you by your elbows, making you stand with your back close to him. “What? It’s yours?“ You couldn’t sense him get serious, laughing still.

“I’ll show you the room, fine.“ You clapped your hands, feeling Yuta tug you to walk in that position before him. “But you’re going to guess which bed is mine. If you’re wrong…“ he gulped above your ear “then you’re going back to Wendy, okay?“ you laughed at his conditions but agreed nonetheless. His hands let go of you the moment you stood in front of the first door on the right. You laughed at yourself for actually thinking you guessed at the first try and reached out for the handle, opening the door and walking in quickly. The gut feeling of yours told you Yuta would probably pick his bed on the lower level of the bunkbeds they had in each room. Lowering your head to see for any signs of the boy that stood behind you. 

“I’ll lay on the bed I think is yours.“ You sighed and stood in the middle to intrigue him or whatever. You probably looked idiotic and regretted not having Haechan around you for moral support. When it felt like you should make up your mind you laid onto the left bed randomly, you tried to seem confident, even though you chose it cluelessly. Yuta chuckled at you and walked in your direction. “I am right, right?“ You asked excitedly and looked at him, sitting up. 

“Hm, what if I led you to the wrong room on purpose?“ His smirk made you realise how foolish you were to believe him, sighing in disappointment. “Close your eyes, I’ll let you know.“ You did as he wished, feeling his body weight on the mattress next to you. His hand brushed against your thigh and you made a weird noise, shivering at the unexpected feeling. Yuta’s bright laughter filled the room and you couldn’t hold back from smiling. The silence ate you alive and it felt like forever since he sat down.

“Don’t tease, I want to know.“ You could feel him lean in and you perked up your ears, excited to hear the answer.

His breathing seemed heavier than usual and you wondered if it only felt this way because you never had his face this close in such silence. You bit onto your lip and wanted to look at him to scold, when he reminded you once again to keep them closed as if he could read your thoughts and you nodded. His body shuffled and the moment after your insides dropped down to your butt. His fingers ran through your cheek carefully, gently placing his fingers behind your ear, leaving his thumb to caress the soft flesh of your cheek. He pulled your face towards him in a quick but very careful motion and now his breathing made you feel hot. You gulped and found your throat dried out.

“Do you think you’d feel wrong if I kissed you?“ His lips were right in front of your ear, brushing against it from the way his lips pronounced specific letters. Your hand grabbed onto his arm unconsciously and he eased his featherlight hold in case you wanted him to let go. You shook your head a no. “Do you… Can I kiss you then?“ He noticed your eyes flutter “Don’t open your eyes yet.“ he sighed and ran his thumb over your cheek.

“I…Yes“ You whispered breathless. He made you feel hot, he made your heart beat in your ears and you just felt like staying in this position forever, right until the moment his lips laid gently atop of yours and you felt like you might’ve experienced a stroke. You couldn’t hold back a light gasp when his lips moved against yours and suddenly the embarrassment hit you like a rock. You wondered if he forgot you never kissed before or if he thought you at least knew how it worked but the fear you experienced from this proximity made all your inner senses numb. If he’d decide to ask you your name right now you most likely won’t be able to find an answer.

“Are you scared?“ He moved his face away just enough to be able to talk. You barely found strength in you to shake your head no and felt his lips in the corner of yours, pecking. “What did you feel then? Open your eyes.“ His nose brushed against your cheek forcing all of your insides to do a flip. “Did this make you excited?“ You nodded quickly and Yuta gulped in a smirk, running his fingers through your hair. “I’m glad, I’m glad I can make you feel excited.“ He smiled sincerely and leaned in once again to lightly brush his lips against yours.

“I’m sorry I’m not good enough.“ You mumbled under your breath when Yuta’s hand angled your head differently.

“Mmh, it’s not true.“ He took a deep breath in, connecting his lips to your jaw. “If you like me too, it’s more than enough.“ Your fingers finally let go of his arm when he blew onto the wet spot on your neck, you couldn’t believe how heavy it made you feel in your lower stomach, grabbing onto his shoulder for support.

“You like me?“ You asked him as if it wasn’t clear enough already. 

“Yes, since the first day I saw you from afar. I wanted to tell you I want you to be mine but I had no idea how to say anything in Korean except a simple hi.“

“Has it not been over a year since we’ve known each other?“ You looked at him confused.

“At first I thought you dated Jaehyun and then… then I realised I’m not as cool to do that. I just thought being friends is better than being ignored by you in case you turned me down, but not now, not when you lay in my bed.“

“So it is your bed?“ You smiled proudly.

“You silly girl, I’m trying to confess my feelings to you.“ He smiled at you sweetly and pinched your cheek.

“I just… I don’t know what to tell… nothing like this ever happened to me.“

“You can say that you like me too, or that you don’t. Anything is fine.“

“This room is too warm…“

“It isn’t, you’re just too worked up from me.“

“Don’t get your hopes high, it’s just warm here.“ he chuckled lowly and kissed you once again. “And I never kissed before, it’s only natural to get nervous, no matter who it happens with.“

“Okay, I agree.“ He nodded and moved back from you and you felt like you did something wrong so you caught his hand with yours.

“But you made me feel warm here.“ Your eyes glued his while laying his hand on your lower stomach. “I feel it because I’m attracted to you.“ You said quietly and moved your face in front of his. “Promise to make me the greatest kisser?“ You bit onto your lip and couldn’t help your heart from fluttering when he smiled back at you.

“I’ll try my best for you, baby.“ He laid your lips atop of yours once again and you couldn’t hold back your excitement.

-

“Jaehyun-ah!“ You exclaimed excitedly and waved at your friend. It’s been the longest in past two years you haven’t seen him. 

“Hi.“ he dropped his body on the seat next to you and looked at you weirdly. “Why are you looking at me like that?“ He squinted his eyes at you and made you chuckle. 

“Did you enjoy spending time at home?“ 

“We went on vacation.“ 

“I envy you!“ You sighed and looked at your hands that were laying on your knees. “You should’ve asked me to go with you! It must’ve been nice!“ You hit his arm playfully and leaned in more to look him in the eyes.

“Didn’t you go home? I would’ve taken you with me if I knew you want to.“ You made a cute sound, wrapping your hands quickly around his shoulders. Your head rested against his shoulder, while your eyes watched the door carefully. 

“Did you see Yuta?“

“Yuta?“ his arm that crawled slowly onto your waist let go of you, and you sat back up.

“Yeah.“

“Why?“ he seemed surprised and you tried to remember if you two ever spoke in front of Jaehyun.

“He said he’ll bring Japanese sweets for me, so I’m wondering if he’s back or not.“

“Oh, okay.“ Jaehyun nodded and turned to watch who entered the room “I don’t know actually if he’s back, I didn’t see him yet.“

“Didn’t see who?“ Ten sat down on the right to Jaehyun and stared at you. 

“Yuta.“ You said carelessly and sat deeper into the seat. 

“Ask John, they’re sharing room.“ Ten looked at Jaehyun probably thinking he was the one who searched for him. 

“Why everyone’s late?“ You tried to switch the topic, counting people in the room “There’s like half of us… Did you see new trainee’s by the way? 

“No, not yet.“

“I met the girl that came this week, and a guy Donyoung, he said he came 2 weeks ago but I never saw him when I was at the…“ you almost said at the boys dorm but stopped yourself halfway. 

“When you were where?“ Jaehyun’s attention was caught on you and it made you feel nervous. You couldn’t come up with anything that you could say.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.“ Irene, Seulgi and Wendy ran in quickly, sitting themselves in the same row with you. 

“Where did you three go after practice?”

“Oh…“ Seulgi sighed and you would lie if you didn’t sense something weird in the way they looked at each other.

“We ran into Sooyoung, trainee girl we run into sometimes in the practice room, remember? We chatted a little and lost track of time.“ Irene chuckled and caressed your knee in reassurance. 

“Oh, yeah. I heard she’s going to debut in that girl group they talked about.“ 

“Huh?“ Wendy looked at you confused “You heard about it?“

“Of course.“ You smiled widely. “I so wish all of us will get into that group. It’s going to be so much fun to debut together.“ You could feel your heart beat faster at a single thought of debuting. 

“I know, so much fun.“ Seulgi smiled back at you looking away when Irene gave her a look. 

“Oh, manager’s here.“ Ten pointed out and made everyone shut their mouths. 

“Seems like everyone’s here, great.“ She quickly ran her eyes over the tops of your heads and you couldn’t help but wonder how is that enough for her to recognise all of you. 

“I’m sorry, Yuta is actually not here yet, I heard his flight is pretty late.“ The manager sighed disapprovingly at Johnny and paused. 

“Well, he should’ve planned everything so he would not be late to an important meeting with everyone. Didn’t I say that everyone should be back by 5?“ Your eyes ran over the floor. 

“I’m sure if there was an earlier flight, he would’ve came in time.“ You whispered to yourself madly, not finding enough courage to say something aloud. 

“I’m sorry.“ Yuta ran into the room quickly, trying to catch his breath and you almost jumped up from your seat for whatever reason. Your eyes followed him quietly, watching him pick an empty seat way too far for you to watch him comfortably. He breathed heavily and tried to keep quiet at the same time, while the manager stared at him furiously but all you could think about was him turning his head to find you, but he didn’t. 

“Do you understand that allowing all of you to go back home is a huge bonus? It’s a privilege we gifted you as payment for your hard work. What next? Going to be late for schedules? You do realise that there’s over 10 people waiting specifically for you? Do you understand that staff at schedules is not going to wait for you like all of us did here? You’re a no one and will always stay as no one if you’ll keep this disgusting behaviour.“

“I’m sorry.“ he repeated again and lowered his head. 

“Foreigners like you always seem to think they’re needed here when in fact it’s you who needs us so next time find your lost conscience and get here in time. Maybe you forgot that I can get your Japanese ass out of the Rookies list? Out of the whole company too?“ You bit onto your lip so hard you could feel it start bleeding.

“Please stop.“ You cried out loud and Jaehyun grabbed your hand harshly to keep you quiet. 

“Y/n, you have something to say I see?“

“We’re not dogs.“ You stood up and noticed how everyone had their heads lowered.

“Y/n, please sit down.“ Jaehyun pulled onto your hand, whispering to you same three words.

“You’re the only manager that treat us like dogs. We are humans, some of us are probably much better than you are, that’s why you’re bullying us.“

“Get out.“ 

“Y/n, please say you’re sorry and sit down.“ Irene whispered to you too. 

“I will gladly leave and go to Lee Soo Man or whoever there is you’re scared of. I’ll go and tell them.“ You pushed Jaehyun from you and walked quickly towards the door. 

“If you’re leaving this door don’t even dream of ever debuting in your entire life.“ She spoke as if she put dots between every word in her sentence. You turned to face the room and got caught up in Yuta’s stare. He lowered his head like everyone else but still was able to look at you from under his forehead. Barely visible movement of his head and you lost your confidence in a second. He didn’t want you to go and he showed it once again with his head movement. “Sit down now and I’ll pretend you never opened your mouth.“ You could sense her fear, if she didn’t feel threatened by you she would not act this way, you just had the feeling.

Yuta’s fingers tapped an empty seat next to him in a swift motion and you quickly sat down next to him, not feeling like crawling over all those people back to Jaehyun. You knew it was embarrassing, making a scene and backing away is embarrassing. You couldn’t hold back tears that prickled your eyes, wiping them quietly while pretending you were listening to the manager’s speech.

“You’re idiotic.“ Jaehyun ran to you with the speed of lightning. “What if she would’ve done what she promised?“ He scolded you in front of everyone. The manager left but everyone still felt pressed down to their seats not knowing if your idea to tell someone about her bullying is a great idea or not. 

“So you disagree with me?“ You stood up to face Jaehyun properly “You think I’m wrong for saying we’re not dogs? All of you, right? Scared for your asses to be dumped out of here. I’m the only one who’s not afraid then, sweet. A whole bloody room of pathetic losers!“ You shouted and felt even more pathetic than you thought they were.

“No, Y/n, I agree with you… but there should be a better way to this than blowing up in the middle of the practice room.“ Johnny spoke out of all of them.

“Y/n, let’s think and work this out peacefully.“ Taeyong suggested from next to you. “I agree with you, what she said to Yuta is not how she should talk to us. It could’ve been any of us.“ Jaehyun rubbed your arm and hugged you from behind with his arm, his other slipped down to hold your palm. 

“He’s right. We need to go back… school homework is not going to disappear on its own.“ Jaehyun pulled onto your hand.

“Are you okay?“ You asked Yuta carefully, leaving Jaehyun ignored.

“I am.“ Yuta nodded and closed his eyes “Japanese ass and foreigner are actually the nicest insults I’ve heard from her.“ He chuckled and looked you in the eyes as if he heard something funny.

“I’m sorry.“ You glued your eyes to the floor, wishing that people around you disappeared, wishing that there was only Yuta and you, wished that he’d kiss you the way he did it two weeks ago, that evening, before he left back home. There wasn’t a night when you went to bed and haven’t thought of the kiss, there wasn’t a day you didn’t think of hugging Yuta, because the sudden realisation you never even hugged him pained you terribly. 

“Let’s go?“ Jaehyun pulled onto your hand making you upset with the fact punching him right now would probably look weird. You looked around the room and noticed how almost everyone have left to dorms, except a small group of people.

“Hey, I thought we can tell you, we’re having something like a little party in our room since everyone’s back and there’s only a month left. Want to come too?“ Mark said suddenly and you looked at him confused.

“It’s just me, Mark, Johnny, Yuta, Taeyong, Jaehyun and you, if you’ll come.“ Hyuck added quickly.

“Can you please bring Koeun with you?“ Mark said suddenly, forcing giggles out of all of you.“

“If she’’ll agree, okay, I will.“ You smiled and nodded.

-

“Where the two of you are going?” 

“Mart, need anything?“ Koeun said carelessly to not draw attention. 

“Are you two not scared of getting scolded?” Wendy asked impressed. 

“Koeun got sent money from parents, she wanted to buy sweets for our choreography teacher.” 

“Yeah, I did.” she nodded quickly and Wendy shrugged, opening the door to her room. 

“What if she’ll decide to check on us in fifteen?” 

“Wendy don’t care big time.” you rolled your eyes and waved Koeun away. 

“Okay.” her head bobbed as you two exited the apartment, heading straight to the stairs that would take you three floors lower. “Why you didn’t invite other girls?” she asked jumping onto each stair. 

“Because it’s a secret party. Mark probably invited me last minute because he wanted me to…” you squeezed your eyes at her in a second. “D’you like anyone?” 

“Like in what way?” 

“Would you kiss anyone?” 

“Y/n, what you’re saying!” she made a high peached sound and slapped your shoulder. “Would you?” she asked a moment later and a smile you gave her could only be called as an embarrassing one. “Did you already?” she jumped up holding onto your hand in a painful squeeze. 

“I…” you opened your mouth to speak but got interrupted but Koeun. 

“I just KNEW you and Jaehyun are the cutest couple ever.” 

“What?” you chuckled and pushed her off your shoulder. “I never kissed Jaehyun.” you rang the bell and the door got opened way too quickly for you to not have a jump scare. 

“Jaehyun what?” Taeyong asked as he met you with his wide eyes smiling. 

“I’m wondering if Jaehyun will sing the song with me.” 

“What song?” you couldn’t understand why Taeyong got so invested in your made up story,  so you just bent to undo your converse that you wore specifically to walk the stairs because they looked the most decent with your outfit. “We should be quiet, we didn’t tell anyone. It’s in Yuta’s, Johnny’s, Marks and Donghyuck’s room…” watching you undo your shoes. 

“What do you have for drinks and food?” Koeun asked excitedly. 

“Not much, I didn’t actually check what they brought.” his head turned away when all of you heard a thud on one of the doors. “Shit.” he whispered and froze, you froze too but then thought maybe it’s better to grab Koeun’s hand and run towards the room. You did so and opened the door loudly, making all of the boys freeze. 

“Got scared, losers?” you smirked and moved out of the way when Taeyong entered the room too.

“How… how did you know which room is Johnny’s room?” he stared at you confused. 

“I heard noises coming from them, you don’t need to be a genius for that.” you bumped your fist into his shoulder lightly and met with Jaehyun’s eyes. He stretched out his hand and you took it gladly, sitting down by his side. You couldn’t help but beam at the way Mark shyly invited Koeun to see next to him. You met eyes with Johnny, who looked more like a proud dad and you had to break eye contact when Yuta moved next to Jaehyun. You looked at him and almost said hi, only to notice that his eyes lazily brushed past you. You felt like someone pinched you and turned to look at Jaehyun who’s smile only grew bigger when his eyes met yours. 

“What was the initial plan for the party?” you whispered into his ear like you always did. Jaehyun’s hand slid down your body to find support for him by resting against the floor next to your side. 

“I don’t know.” his nose hit your cheek on accident and the both of you laughed loudly. 

“Johnny, what’s the plan?” 

“Chatting, music and I actually brought ton of food.” he stood up and his tall figure was enough to grab a bag that hid from your eyes on the second level of the bunkbed. 

“I thought you guys have something stronger.” Koeun said quietly looking at Johnny. 

“What you mean by that?” Mark tried to keep the volume low too. 

“Alcohol?” she blinked multiple times. 

“Aren’t you like… 14?”

“You’re 13.” she fought Donghyuck for some reason and you turned away the moment their fight got even more pointless and even more heated. 

“Want to eat something?” your head shook a quick no at Jaehyun and you looked at your knees. You’ve never been to such a party before but you were pretty sure it could get on the list of the lamest gatherings of 2013 for sure. “I have a lot of board games in my room.” Jaehyun cleared his throat to talk louder. “If anyone wants…”

“I want.” you nodded quickly and he stood up, leaving your back without support from his arm. 

“Anyone else?” your eyes ran over the room of unamused by this idea teenagers. 

“Ugh… I guess you can bring them and we’ll see.” Taeyong suggested and you perched up your lips. 

“Can you help me? There’s quite a few.” you agreed and stood up next to him, exiting the room and following him behind. 

“Who do you share your room with?”

“Taeyong, Jeno and Hansol.” 

“They’ll feel uncomfortable, I’ll wait outside.” 

“Okay.” you nodded and stood next to the door like you were on the watch. Jaehyun took quite a few minutes and you wondered if he got in trouble. Your head immediately turned to the right when you could hear the designated party rooms door open. Yuta walked towards the entrance quietly, not giving you a single glance. 

“Come with me.” his voice was emotionless while he put his shoes on. 

“I’m waiting for Jaehyun.” 

“Come with me.” he repeated monotonously.

“Where to?”

“Mart, come on, put your shoes on quickly.” his hand pulled you towards your shoes and you began to put them on. 

“But Jaehyun…” you whispered as you tied your shoe laces. 

“Y/n…?” he finally exited the room with a whole lot of board games with him. 

“I…Yut…”

“She’ll help pick food at the mart, don’t worry I’ll bring her back to you quickly.” Yuta tugged on your forearm and you exited the apartment while staring Jaehyun in the eyes apologetically. 

But as soon as the door closed, there wasn’t a single thought of Jaehyun left. Your head turned into Yuta’s direction in anticipation but instead of catching Yuta’s eyes in response, you were met with the back of his head. His hand let go of you to press the elevator button and the two of you stood quietly next to it. 

“Why did you ask me to come…?” you broke off the silence when the two of you weren’t far from the designated shop. If it didn’t weigh on him, it totally did weigh on you. You couldn’t guess he’d want to act quiet after the kiss you shared, you couldn’t wrap your head around it because every time you’d get any sort of reminder of Yuta you’d feel fireworks of excitement in your chest. 

“To help me pick food at the mart.” his fingers wrapped around the handle and he opened the door, letting you to come in first. “You can choose anything you’d want to eat. Anything you and Koeun would want to eat.” he corrected him quickly. 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why?” Even his sarcastic laughter and smile made your heart sink. 

“We don’t want anything.”

“It’s a lie. Come.” his hand pulled you to the beverages stand. “Juice, coke, soda?” you lowered your head and shook it. “Go pick, don’t make me annoyed.” his hand laid on your shoulder and squeezed it. “Come on.” he said softer and you thought to yourself that maybe it’s his way of showing care. Maybe with food he wants to let you know he likes you the way he meant it that evening. Your fingers reached out for two grape tasted sodas. “You can take more if you want to.”

“Shouldn’t we take some back for the boys?” 

“I’m not obliged to buy them shit.” he chuckled.

“Can I take one more, for Jaehyun?” 

“Yeah, sure.” he nodded and watched you get the drink. 

“Do you not want some?” 

“I’ll take what I want, don’t worry.” he bobbed his head at you and pushed you to walk forward, by laying his palm on your back. “Do you want snacks?” 

“Just take anything you’d like.” 

“You’re eating, right?” he looked at you, taking packs of jelly and crisps. 

“I am, stop asking this every time. I didn’t tell you because I wanted whole world to know.” 

“Okay.” his nod made you believe the topic was closed and sealed for a while. 

“Can you take those shrimp chips? Jaehyun loves them.” 

“Yeah.” he nodded and the two of you kept on walking around the shop. Yuta forced you to get ridiculous amount of snacks enough for two shopping bags, that each of you carried back to the dorms. You slowly moved your feet not knowing how to ask Yuta questions, how to get the weight on your shoulders out of your chest. He opened his mouth as if he could hear your thoughts, speaking. 

“Are you, by any chance… in love with Jaehyun?” 

“I thought we were past that.” you sighed and stopped in front of the building. Going up would mean you two are going to get back to all your friends. “I thought you know who I like.” 

“You’re always talking about him, I was just thinking there’s a chance you had feelings for him deep down of you.” 

“Why?” for some reason it sounded like Yuta was upset at your reply. “I… I was thinking of you… all those days. I was thinking when you’d come back how could we sneak away. You asked me to go with you and I thought because you missed me too and maybe wanted to kiss me… but I don’t think you did think of any of it.” 

“Y/n, I did think of you and the kiss too…” he finally took a look at you and you took a step closer. 

“I think I do really like you.” you whispered and stood on your tiptoes to match Yuta’s height. 

“That’s what I wanted to talk about when I asked you to come with me.” his fingers held onto your shoulder and he forced you to step back. “I think this is kind of wrong. I know I initiated all of it when you just wanted to see my room, but I think I lost my senses and I should say that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” you furrowed your eyebrows. 

“For getting your hopes high. There’s too many boundaries for all of it to go on.” 

“I don’t understand what boundaries you’re talking about.” your eyes blinked quickly and you couldn’t believe you were feeling hurt as much as you did right now. 

“You’re literally 15. I don’t know where was my brain, but I’m not going to seduce a fifteen year old to be with me.”

“Didn’t you say you like me? From the first day…?”

“I do like you it’s just that we’re not going to work out right now… you’re technically a child, I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I think it’s the best way. I still want to be your friend, I still want to take part in your life and I…” 

“So I’m a child?” you interrupted him when your brain finally processed what he did. 

“I mean you..” you couldn’t hear what he tried to say when you felt furious.

“Oh, I’m a child, so you decided to deal with this how grown ups like you deal with kids - bought me shit ton of sweets so I’ll eat them and forgive you for whatever shit you’ll try to say? Is that why you insisted so much on buying food? Take your bag and eat it yourself! Don’t try to talk to me ever again, I’m a child who you kissed. I’m sure they’ll kick you out if everyone at the company will find out.” you shoved the bag into his chest and walked quickly inside of the building. 

“Y/n, please wait. I didn’t want to fight, I’m doing this for the better. For the both of us. You’re probably going to debut in that girl group next year and things will get messy. I don’t want us to drown, please.” 

“I don’t want to hear your lame excuses. Take what I said before as a gift for your tremendous ego.” 

“Where are you going?” he walked up the stair behind you. 

“My room.” 

“Come back to Jaehyun, he’s going to get suspicious.” you breathed heavily and could not agree that Yuta was right about it. You turned to enter the floor with the boys dorm at and waited for Yuta to open the door. He let you in first and without giving his presence any sort of attention, you took your shoes off quickly, running into the room. 

“Where did you lose Yuta and food?” Johnny asked loudly and Haechan chuckled. 

“He’s behind.” your eyes ran over the room, noticing Mark having a guitar in his hands and Jaehyun sitting with his games on the bed, sorting out cards from one of them. “Did you already play?” you say next to him and watch his fingers move over the cardboard. 

“No, no one wanted so I’m just sorting out things.” he seemed visibly upset and it made you upset too. 

“Hey, let’s play together?”

”You don’t have to pretend you want to play with me.” 

”Jaehyun.” your hand laid atop of his and he raised his eyes to look at you. ”I never lied to you and I’m not planning on starting doing so. Closest person out of everyone here, and well… probably in the whole entire world, remember?” he nodded vigorously at you and finally laid cards with characters drown on them into its place. 

”What you want to play?” Your eyes quickly ran over the boxes laying over your best friend. 

”Halli Galli? I’m not that much of board game pro.”

”I’ll teach you. I’ve always played games on the weekends with my parents, and sometimes with friends too. It’s fun and helps you to not think about things. It always helped me to get my mind off the upcoming basketball games.” Jaehyun sounded excited while saying all of these things and you couldn’t help yourself but smile at him. 

”You’re really passionate about it. There’s not that many 16 year old guys who openly enjoy board games.” You chuckled lowly and looked around to see that no one actually payed attention to you two.

”I’m not openly enjoying board games, I just thought I should bring them here for boring evenings. You’re the only one who knows my secret, shhh.” he raised his pointing finger to his lips, leaning in closer to you to giggle in unison. 

”Okay, I’ll do my best to keep it.” you sat back straight and reached for the cards, setting up the bell between you two. The game went by quickly and you couldn’t help but exclaim in pain every time Jaehyun’s hand landed on top of yours on the bell.

”Are you a slow poke?” you laughed at him when for the fifth time in a row Jaehyun was slower than you.

”You’re too quick, give in once.” He whined and once you two placed your cards, you reached for the bell and came first. 

”You’re totally a slow poke!” You laughed loudly. ”We should’ve come up with a penalty.” 

”What else do you want from me? I already lost.” Jaehyun dropped his back onto the headboard in annoyance and you couldn’t help but lean in to him to hug his disappointment away. 

”Come on Yuno-ya” you forced him to move his body when you fell next to him and hugged. ”Do you not want to hug your misery away with your favourite bestie.” You chuckled and felt his hands wrap around you for a second before he pushed you to sit back up.

”Don’t call me Yuno.” He squeezed his eyes at you and began putting all the cards together.

”Why is that?” You chuckled at his antics.

”I’m mad at you for winning, don’t try to get under my skin.”

”Now that you’re grumpy like that I’m not missing my chance to tease you.” his sigh was loud enough for the whole room to hear you. ”Yuno.” You stretched your back and met eyes with Yuta, who you’re pretty sure unknowingly sucked all of the happiness out of your chest. ”I’ll go back.” you announced aloud. ”Eun-ah, are you going to stay for a while or…?” 

”I’ll…” she gulped and you could feel she wanted to stay.

”You can stay for as long as you want to.” Yuta said to her but looked at you. 

”Okay, I’ll go myself then.”

”Come on, Y/n, stay a little longer, we only played one round.” 

”Kids should be sleeping by now and I’m a child so I should head to bed.” 

”You’re a child?” Johnny chuckled ”Who said that bullshit?” 

”Someone did.” You shrugged and walked towards the door. ”Have fun and good night.” You waved at everyone and left.

-

December came quickly, and with having your debut as a Rookie right around the corner your whole life got even more turned upside down that it already was.

Getting back to practice after your ‘privileged’ days off felt good, mood of every trainee raising at the thought of upcoming debut, so dorm was mostly filled with teenagers who’s heads were in the clouds. 

But more importantly, all of you practiced so hard the only thing you did besides that was sleep. It helped to wash away thoughts of Yuta off your head. Sometimes you’d still catch yourself going back to his lips on yours, reminiscing of what it felt like, what he tasted like, but then you just talked yourself out of it. You were crying over a crush you never even realised you had before he made a move. You were glad now that the two of you left it as it is. At the end of the day, he maybe was right, that things would get messy eventually. 

“It’s tomorrow.” you ran into Jaehyun on your way to the dorm, feeling his fingers wrap around yours. “Can you believe it’s tomorrow.” he repeated himself. 

“Why are you so nervous?” you chuckled and squeezed his hands back. “They’re just going to post our photos on Facebook.”

“Aren’t you nervous of what people will think?” 

“Should I?” you laughed at him and he let you go. 

“You’re right, I probably shouldn’t too.” he inhaled loudly. 

“I didn’t mean it like that…” You gulped and got back closer to him. Maybe you shouldn’t have shoved your fake confidence in his face, you were maybe more nervous than he was, but showing it meant being weak, and you hated being weak even if it was in front of Jaehyun only. Being weak lead you to believing that Yuta wanted you and were promising yourself to not ever show any type of weakness. “Did you film a singing video?” you asked to move his mind onto something else. “Or a dancing maybe?” 

“Did you?” 

“Ugh, yeah, last week we went around streets and they shot a quick video of me singing. I wasn’t told much but it’s for their YouTube.” 

“Nice… I wasn’t asked for any of that… what if everyone did and I’m just an outcast… I knew I needed practicing and I knew I need to…”

“Jaehyun-ah?” 

“Mmh?” he shot his head up out of trance. 

“I’m sure you’re perfect, okay?” 

“Don’t try to comfort me.”

“What is up with your self esteem?” 

“Whatever.” he waved you away and turned to walk. 

“Huh? What’s that?” you tried to lift his mood up by giggling. “Want me to hold your hand tomorrow when they’ll post it?” you hung on his hand hidden in the pocket getting outside. 

“I do.” he looked you dead serious in the eyes and you swallowed a chuckle. 

“Are you actually scared?” you asked him softly and his nod made you regret your previous laughter and stop walking. “Okay, I’ll hold your hand, you don’t have to worry. I’m always around when you’ll need it.” you noticed his ears turn the slightest shade of pink. “Come on, you’re getting cold now.” you pushed him to go. 

“I have a laptop, we can gather in our living room. Do you know who else is being revealed?” 

“I think Lami and Irene.” you took a second to remember who was on the list you checked last night at the practice room. 

“You can ask them to come too.”

“I will, but I’m not promising anything, okay?” he nodded and you hugged him goodbye, leaving the elevator on your floor. 

-

“Oh, you’re alone?” Jaehyun asked disappointed. 

“Am I not enough company, Yuno?” you squinted your eyes at him suspiciously.  

“I thought they’ll want to gather for this moment.” he chuckled and shrugged after, letting you in quickly. 

“They just…” you sighed while taking your shoes off, preparing yourself mentally for a lie. You didn’t want to tell him you never asked them to come. First and foremost because you knew Irene would most likely decline, and because you knew Lami would totally tag along. She was small, cute and irresistible and once you’d suggest you knew she’d accept, so you opted to keep your mouth shut. Not because you were against either of them coming but just because you felt like they were not allowed to see your friends vulnerable side. You just felt like you were the only one who was supposed to live this moment through with him and you found yourself enjoying the idea of barricading the two of you out of the whole wide world. “Irene didn’t want to, duh.” you chuckled, “Lami had school things to do, so yeah… I’m sorry nobody else came.” 

“It’s fine, you’re more than enough.” he smiled fondly and invited you to the living room. His laptop stood on the coffee table and the room was surprisingly quiet. You expected to not be left alone with Jaehyun, but all the guys seemed to disappear from the dorm. Your brain suddenly traveled to the other time you were in the same dorm one on one with a guy, beating air for the slightest moment out of your lungs. 

“I’m probably acting foolish…” Jaehyun sighed and propped his body on the couch. 

“You aren’t.” you sat next to him, craning your neck to look at Jaehyun. “Are we going to see what people are commenting?”

“If you want to, yeah.” he nodded and the face expression he made made his dimples visible. You couldn’t hold yourself back, pinching his cheek right the moment he focused his eyes on the laptop screen.  

“You’re acting like a baby now.” you chuckled when he grabbed onto your hand, pushing it off his face. “A big ass baby.” you commented while his fingers ran over the keyboard, opening the right page. The fear you tried to hide hit you suddenly when your eyes could see the logo of the website and you wrapped your body around Jaehyun’s arm.

“It’s you.” he said suddenly, his voice dying in nervousness. 

“And you too.” you moved closer to the screen, running your eyes over and over again through the page as if it’s going to change. 

“They look young.” Jaehyun read out loud the comment you set your eyes on. 

“What’s else in there.” you gulped and reached for the laptop, hiding the screen away from Jaehyun. “He’s handsome!” you couldn’t hide away your smile, looking up from the screen at Jaehyun who seemed to not catch what you said. “The guy is a total visual!” you giggled and hid your face behind the screen to find something else. “I want more info on him. Hm…” you scrolled through “The guy from yesterday was totally hotter.” you met eyes with Jaehyun who finally seemed to listen. “I’m sorry love, Taeyong’s hotter.” you chuckled at the way Jaehyun smiled. “I can see him be the lead vocal.” you sighed “Visual, visual, cutie.” you scrolled mindlessly through comments. 

“I don’t believe that it’s there.” he finally spoke and looked at you weirdly. 

“It’s there, look.” you turned the screen back at Jaehyun. “I want him to debut soon.” you read the new comment that popped up. “Just admit you’re handsome.” you couldn’t hold back your smile anymore. The compliments you read made you feel as if they were directed at you, for some reason knowing people liked Jaehyun made you feel at ease. 

“Let’s see what people think of your singing.” Jaehyun suggested suddenly making that ‘at ease’ feeling fade away in a second. 

“It’s probably boring.” you rolled your eyes and hoped he’d move on to something else but he didn’t and the idea of him reading out comments about you made you freezing cold. It wasn’t really the perfect time and place to realise you were deadly afraid of what people think of you, but the thing happened anyway so you had to choke on your emotions and blink away the fear. You just felt like the both of you shouldn’t be scared at the same time, and while Jaehyun already was, you found it only logical to act all tough until the day he takes the lead from you. “Okay, go on.” you rolled your eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“‘She looks young.’ You really do.” you wondered if he’s going to add his cute remarks to every comment he reads. “Wow! Vocals!” he raised his eyes at you showing off his dimples. The front door made the both of your attention run to whoever entered the apartment. “Oh, Yuta, hi!” he smiled widely and lowered his head back onto the laptop. 

“Hi…” Yuta sighed and you could hear him walk in further, probably noticing you by now. “Y/n? Hi.” you didn’t want to seem weird but you didn’t want to turn around and see him either, so your pride took over and you ignored him. “What you two are up to?” Yuta’s presence made you shiver and even though you still couldn’t see him, you could feel him close behind you. You just waited patiently for Jaehyun to answer and Yuta to leave quickly but neither of them seemed to want the same thing, with the way Jaehyun turned his laptop towards Yuta. 

“I’m reading comments under Y/n’s video. We were posted today.” he smiled proudly and you couldn’t understand where that face expression came from. 

“What are they saying?“ Yuta seemed invested and you finally turned to face him only to find him leaning in to rest his knee behind you on the couch, balancing with his arm on the backrest of it. His eyes were focused on Jaehyun and you wondered if he tried to pretend you were invisible. 

“That she’s a great singer and pretty.” 

“When did they say I’m pretty?” you chimed in, moving a bit forward from Yuta. 

“I saw it somewhere.” Jaehyun quickly glanced at you. 

“Can I scroll?” Yuta moved his body more towards you when Jaehyun nodded and moved his hand onto your shoulder making you gasp in annoyance. You weren’t there to be the stand he can lean onto. “People really like you Jaehyun, I’m proud of you.” Yuta sounded genuine and you smiled at Jaehyun. You could read in his eyes he was happy with his older brothers approval. “You too, Y/n. I would be surprised if someone didn’t find you beautiful.” his eyes focused on you for a little too long before he turned back onto the screen. His body bent over your shoulder for a few more moments, standing up and leaving the two of you one on one again. 

“Who’s your favourite at the dorms?” you asked when Jaehyun was still scrolling through the comments section.

“Hm?” he looked at you puzzled clearly missing out the question. 

“Who do you think is your real friend here?” 

“You?” he asked confused, squinting his eyes slightly in confusion. 

“Nah, not me. I’m talking this floor.”

“Oh, this floor.” he closed the laptop to think the question through. “I don’t know, Johnny? I think I get along with everyone and I haven’t thought of it this way… I like spending time with Yuta, and then other guys too…” 

“You really are a baby.” you chuckled at him. 

“Why is that?” 

“I guess girls just built differently. There’s the talk who’s best friends with who, who fancies who. Who’d you want to debut with and things like that. Y’all are just chilled, I love that.” you nodded approvingly. 

“So who are you best friends with?” 

“I don’t know…” you sighed. “I thought I was close with Seulgi but recently we barely talk and I guess I’m just not interesting to her anymore…” you bit onto your lip. “I’m mostly hanging out with Koeun. Yeri too, but she’s kinda distant now too.” 

“Why though?” 

“I don’t know… maybe they just don’t like me.” you smiled at Jaehyun and he laughed loudly at your assumption. 

“I’m sure they do. Didn’t you tell me about that girl group? I’m sure all of you will debut soon. You’ll get super close once again  while preparing, I’m sure. We’ll probably get distant but I’m going to root for you no matter what, don’t worry.” his palm laid atop of your shoulder reassuringly and you squinted your eyes happily. A single thought of debuting with your friends took you to cloud 9.  

-

“Hey, hey, what’s up?” Jaehyun’s arms tried to catch you when you practically flew past him. Your feet walked quicker than you ever thought you were able to and even though you did notice him, there was practically no chance for you to give him any reaction with the way you walked. “Y/n, hey?” Jaehyun ran behind you and had to pull onto your hand when you didn’t stop even when the two of you were half way to the dorm. “What…” his mood visibly changed when he could see your face from under your cap. “You’re crying?” he asked confused. “Hey, what happened?” his voice became visibly softer and you raised your head to see him properly. “I’m confused… what happened?” he bit onto his lip while you tried to contain yourself to speak. 

“I saw the final list for the girl group. I’m not there.” you failed to speak more when another wave of tears fell over you. “I know now where they disappeared, I know why I felt left out, I wasn’t the reason, they knew all along. I thought we were friends. I was asked to come for a few practices but I knew something was off, if they said the group is debuting in August and now it’s May, and I literally was asked to come to like a practice a week. I… I don’t… I can’t believe they… I thought we were friends but they just lied into my face, said we’re going to be debuting together.” Jaehyun pulled you for a hug, while your breathing hitched terribly and you knew he could barely work out what you were saying. “They went to practice without me all the time, that’s why Irene always came late to the dorm. That bi… she lied to me when I asked her, I don’t want to sleep in the same room with her. I hate them all! I hate the company!” Jaehyun squeezed your body in his hands tighter and you felt small next to him for the first time in your life. 

“Y/n, please don’t cry so much, you’re going to have puffy eyes.” 

“You’re like my mom.” you swallowed a chuckle. 

“It’s not what I meant.” 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” you tried to take deep breaths but they still gave away your wish to cry. “My mom is just going to kill me, that’s it. I don’t know how to tell her.” 

“I know deep down she’s proud of you and loves you and you being here is enough for her happiness. If it’s not this girl group, it’ll be the next one. Im sure you were crossed off that debuting list because you’re too young for the rest of them. 98 right? Irene’s like 91, the rest of them around her age. You’re just a baby yet, they’ll put you in the next group…” Jaehyun’s fingers caressed your hair carefully. “Or what if their plan is to make a BoA out of you? Our generation BoA, even I’ll be asking for your autographs.” you raised your head from his chest to take in fully his effort to make you feel better. 

“I love you so much, thank you, Jaehyun. No one ever cared for me the way you do, I… I never thought I’ll ever be able to have a friend like you. Please, when you’ll find out you’re debuting, don’t lie to me, okay?” you smiled at him with a smirk. 

“Love you too, and no, I won’t lie. Didn’t we agree to never lying.” 

“We did.” you sighed and lowered your head back onto his chest. 

“Do you feel any better?”

“Now yes… but going to the dorm is just sounding disgusting. I’m probably going to fight with them if they’ll try to talk to me ever again.” 

“You know… I don’t want us to fight… but I guess it’s really not the girls fault. They didn’t decide on this… and well… I’m sure they wanted to debut with you, it’s just the company and I’m sure it’s for the best. They probably weren’t allowed to tell you.” 

“You’re right but still… I can be mad.” you lightly punched his shoulder and sighed. 

���You are, I’d be crying too if I were you.” 

“Glad to know.” you could feel his chest tremble with the laugh that escaped his throat. “Is it weird if I’ll ask you to let me stay on the couch of your floor…?”

“Probably…” he sighed looking like he thought about options. “Want to come to my house?”

“What do you mean?” you squinted your eyes. 

“My house is near, my parents won’t mind, we could probably stay there for a couple of days.”

“Together?”

“If you’re okay with it you can stay there alone…” he chuckled. “You just have to tell someone at the dorm, I’m sure they’ll notice.” 

“I’m not their priority, I’m sure they won’t.” 

“Oh, stop.” Jaehyun sighed, watching you get from his hold, walking towards the building. 

“I’m going to befriend your parents and stay at your house until the day those people move to their personal dorm.”

“Don’t act dramatic.” his hand fell over your shoulders, leading you to the building. 

“I’m still hurt and upset.” 

“I know, it’s normal. We’ll get over it, I’m sure.” Jaehyun’s hand squeezed your shoulders. “Actually, we were told we’re going to appear on some show.”

“What show?” 

“It’s something with EXO, I’m not sure yet, they just said we’re going to start filming soon and we’re practicing for it starting today.”

“Congratulations, you.” you put on a sincere smile even when you were dying inside from your own failures. 

“I wanted to tell you, before I realised you’re crying… it doesn’t matter actually, we’ll talk about it another day.”

“No, tell me, I want to know.” 

“Exo and all the SM Rookies boys are going to remake 90s songs… I believe original artist are going to come too… anyway… I feel like I’m showing off right now.” he chuckled awkwardly. 

“It’s fine, I’m serious. I love hearing you happy, it makes me feel better…” your fingers wrapped over his waist for a quick hug. “Please take Sehun’s autograph for me?” you said cutely.

“You know I’m probably going to be too scared to do so…” he sighed disappointed with his own cowardness. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at his cute face expression. 

-

“Jaehyun-ah?” your head leaned over the wall and you caught Jaehyun’s happy eyes on yours. “Hey, superstar.” you chuckled and walked closer to him. 

“Hi, fool. I’m not a superstar.” he hugged you quickly. 

“You’re all busy with schedules and I saw a couple of episodes of that EXO program… where’s my autograph?” Jaehyun laughed loudly and finally payed all of his attention to you. The living room of boys dorm was as lively as ever and you suddenly thought you two should go to yours, now almost empty, dorm. 

“We haven’t hung out probably in forever.” you propped your body next to his on the couch. “How are you doing?” 

“Glad to finally have time to rest.”

“Oh, I told you, you’re a superstar.” you looked around, watching guys doing something in the kitchen. Yuta was there too but you caught yourself thinking you didn’t care about him and turned back. 

“He’s like the most liked person on set.” Johnny chimed in and you had to look away to not burst out laughing at his face expression. 

“Anyway…” Jaehyun sighed loudly and Johnny moved his body away, giving you private space with Jaehyun, which you couldn’t thank him enough for. You crawled into the corner of the couch and Jaehyun moved next to you, looking you up. “What you’ve been up to? Lots of practice?”

“Yeah.” you nodded vigorously “This… and something else…” you bit onto your lip excitedly to not smile too brightly.

“What? You’re going to debut?” his hand laid atop of his mouth in shock. 

“No, better.” you chuckled. 

“Better than debuting is what…?”

“I’ve…” you sighed and moved your mouth closer to Jaehyun’s ear. “I’ve met someone and I think he likes me.”

“What?” Jaehyun’s eyes turned into big circles, making his mouth ‘o’ shaped. “Is it someone from the company?” he asked loudly and then lowered his head quickly to not attract attention. 

“No, it’s not. It’s someone I met at the mart next to the dorm. I dropped a bill and he gave it back to me. Funny thing I didn’t notice dropping anything, but yeah. He said he’d like to talk to me more and gave me his phone number and he’s been texting me nonstop. He says he wants to take me out soon and I’m nervous…” 

“Wait…” Jaehyun sighed and shook his head quickly. “You’re dating him?”

“No, dummy. Im telling you, he talked to me at the mart next to the dorm and asked for my phone number, I gave it to him and he texted me non stop.”

“Do you think he recognised you?” 

“Am I a TV star? How could he recognise me? There’s nothing to recognise.” you chuckled at his assumption. 

“I don’t know… how old is he?” 

“I have no clue… I think our age. He looks young… cute too…” you tried to contain your embarrassed smile at the remark you made. 

“Are you like already in love with him or something?” Jaehyun looked at you suspiciously and shook his head, moving his attention onto something else while you were coming up with an answer. 

“I’m not that easily convinced, Jaehyun. I have seen him only once, it takes more than that I guess to be in love.” 

“Okay.” he nodded and went quiet. The two of you barely spoke about such things and by barely you would probably say never before. You guessed he was uncomfortable talking about all things regarding love and the fact he kept a shroud of mystery over his feelings towards anyone you found it only obvious he let the conversation die. His tongue practically went numb whenever you tried to tease him over girls and you guessed he was more focused on getting his actual job done than you are.  

“I was just thinking… When we met and exchanged phone numbers he wanted to walk me back home because I said I live near…“ Jaehyun raised his eyebrow at you “No, I didn’t lead him to the dorm… I walked into a random building and waited until he left. I feel bad for lying.“

“Oh trust me you’ll feel worse if you’ll disclose you’re an SM Trainee living with another 100 of them in this building.“ 

“Very funny of you, Jaehyun-ah.“ 

“Where are you leading this anyway?“

“I was thinking of telling him I live at your place but it’s dumb now that I faked I live in that house.“

“Just meet him at the park or something. What’s the problem?“

“Ugh, you’re really annoying, aren’t you.“ You sighed and dropped your head dramatically on the backrest of the couch. “I’m just nervous, I was thinking we can blabber about it whatever and I’ll feel better. I never was asked out before…“ you sighed and he mirrored you. “Have you?“ 

“Have I been asked out before?“

“This, or have you asked someone out before?“

“Nah…“ He shook his head shyly his ears turn redder than tomatoes “Not many chances to get a love life while you live in a dorm with 20 other guys.“ You nodded understandingly and bit onto your lip. “Even if you’ll like him… don’t open up everything to him, okay?“

“There’s not much to open up.“ you moved your head back up to look at him “I won’t tell him anything about this, obviously.“ 

“I’m…“ he sighed “Being careful is the key I guess.“

“You’re such a grandpa and a party pooper.“ You rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder lightly. “You could’ve just said something like ‘I’m sure the date’s going to be great and the guy will turn to be a sweetheart! I’m rooting for your love life, bestie!’ 

“I’m rooting for your love life, bestie!“ He tried to copy the tone of your voice and you gave him an eye. 

“By the way, did you meet our new trainee?“

“A new trainee?“ 

“Yeah, she’s living in the room next to mine.“

“You’re still all alone?“

“I am!“ You chuckled and thought about their 4 person bedrooms “Imagine you were allowed to move into my room.“

“I totally can’t imagine my life without living with three other guys now, I’m sorry.“ You shook your head at him amused.

“Hey love birds, want to watch a movie?“ Johnny moved closer to you two once again.

“Hey, she’s got a boyfriend now.“ 

“You what?“ Johnny raised his eyebrows.  

“Shut up! I don’t!“ You whined at Jaehyun loudly, raising visibly volume of the conversation. The boys tried to keep the teasing between you three but now your whine attracted attention of the boys in the kitchen. 

“You don’t what?“ Donghyuck walked in closer, curious. 

“Want to watch a movie?“ You craned your neck at him, smiling. 

“Okay.“ He agreed unbelievably quickly. “Hey, who wants to watch a movie?“ he attracted more people and now more people sat themselves on the couch. Jaehyun suggested you’ll invite girls from your dorm and a couple of them came too, making the living room packed. 

When the movie was over you waved everyone goodbye quickly, and ran out of the dorm. Looking for privacy you ran one flight of stairs down, not expecting anyone to walk downstairs, since all girls lived three floors above. Your eyes ran over the screen of your phone, looking for new messages of your ‘boyfriend’. You could hear girls walk up the stairs quietly, not saying a single word. You sank into the message he sent, trying to come up with a better answer to the question he asked.

“Hey.“ you almost flue up the stairs when you heard a voice next to you. 

“Hi.“ You raised your head and gulped, hiding your phone into your pocket.

“I heard your conversation with Jaehyun.” Yuta stood one stair lower and you couldn’t work out why didn’t he sat down.

“And?” you rolled your eyes at him and tried to stand up. 

“You should stop texting that guy.” you fell back down facing him shocked. You haven’t given much thought which conversation Yuta could’ve overheard but now it kinda made sense. 

“And… why?“ You couldn’t understand where the sassiness in your voice came from, but either way it was already there.

“Do you know him?“

“Hm, is it written down somewhere that you have to know someone before dating them?“ 

“You’re already going that much forward?“

“Yuta, just go. No one needs your advice.“ his eyes dropped onto your pocket and your head laid atop of your pocket as if he was about to steal your phone.

“Is that him?“

“None of your business.“

“Hey.“ he looked away for a second and his face expression changed when he looked back at you, sitting down on the same stair. “I’m not here to make a scene. I care for you and want only the best… I’m serious, Y/n.“ 

“Why?“

“Just because.“

“Okay.“ You snorted at his lame answer. 

“Whats his name?“

“Jay.“

“And how old is Jay?“

“Our age.“

“Our age is how old?“

“I don’t know. I never asked…“ 

“Does he know how old you are?“

“Yes, he asked me before.“

“I know you’re going to be annoyed by me saying this… but I think you shouldn’t talk to him.“

“Huh? Why is that?“

“I think he’s going to scam you.“ 

“You have no right to say that!“ 

“A random guy you meet next to the dorm, he doesn’t tell you anything about himself but asks everything about you. I’m sure he’s a scammer, I’m sure he saw you on the internet. You can’t just risk everything dumbly like that.“

“How do you know he doesn’t tell me things about himself?“

“You just proved that.“he shrugged “You’re not going anywhere with him, that’s for sure. I’m not going to be surprised if he’ll try to fuck you and then somehow mess with your career.“

“Your imagination is insane, you’re insane.“

“Give me your phone, I’ll prove it.“

“No.“

“Come on, if I’m wrong I’ll do anything you’ll want me to.“ 

“Fine, but if you’re wrong, you’re not going to get out of it easily.“

“Okay.“ You fished out your phone and put it in Yuta’s hand. He immediately began typing, not even scrolling through the conversation. He sent the message and three dotes signalling that Jay typed back showed immediately. ‘Want to go to a hotel?’ he replied to Yuta’s whiny message that he wanted to meet. “See?“ Yuta’s fingers quickly typed a ‘you want to do what TTTT’ you would’ve laughed at the way he wrote if it wasn’t for the situation “Don’t tell me you think he wants to read books?“ ‘we could get a drink and then we’ll see what I could do with you.’ You swallowed a gasp and looked at Yuta who paid you no attention, submersed into the conversation. ‘Is it weird I’m getting turned on_? kekeke’ getting a reply of ‘oh don’t worry honey I’m getting a hard on from a single thought.’ Yuta locked your phone, putting it to the side. 

“So huh?“ Yuta chuckled “Tell me he wasn’t here for fucking.“

“You literally suggested it.“ you couldn’t fight it in you to not fight back even though you could see now he was right. 

“I said I wanted to see him, not suggested going to a hotel, drinking and doing shit. Why can’t you just say ‘thank you, Yuta’?“

“You’re wrong.“

“I can’t fucking believe you almost went out with a guy who’s initial plan was to fuck.“

“Stop swearing at me.“ 

“Is that all that bothers you? I literally saved you right now.“

“Are you trying to feel better about yourself or what?“

“Sort of yeah, I kind of prevented a guy from stealing your virginity against your will.“ You chocked and wanted to fight him, ask him why the hell he decided he knew everything about your body, but then you came up with a better comeback. 

“Not the first time someone tried to steal something from me.“

“What do you mean? Someone tried to hit on you?“

“Well he was successful with stealing it.“

“What…?“ Yuta seemed to be visibly taken aback and you would just love to take a picture of his face expression. 

“It’s you! You stole my first kiss!” You bursted loudly regretting being this loud on the stairs. 

“I asked you beforehand!” He fought back suddenly, visibly feeling at ease.

“It doesn’t matter, you kissed me and ran away.”

“Did that guy steal your second…?” he asked much calmer taking a moment to reply. 

“Im not telling you.”

“Did he or not?” Yuta sounded more persistent and you just looked away, shaking your head a slight no, knowing that he’ll notice. “You’re sure you still don’t have any feelings towards Jaehyun?” 

“What is up with your questions?” you turned your head back at him with raised eyebrows in one swift motion. Your voice sounded too high pitched for your own liking, seemingly amusing Yuta. He rested his palm against your cheek and your eyes fluttered before you came to your senses. “Move. Your hand. Away.” you put all of your strength to make words leave your mouth steadily. 

“I don’t want to.” you couldn’t work out if he smiled to make you mad or if he did it unconsciously. 

“What do you want, Yuta?” 

“Now that you brought up our kiss I just want another one.”

“Go kiss someone who’s not a child.”

“Whine some more.” he murmured and leaned in, running his thumb over your throat. 

“Yuta, I’m serious.” you pushed onto his shoulder. 

“Do you need to talk this out?” he sighed and moved back, making you lose any contact. “Let’s talk, I agree.”

“I…I feel like you’re going to do all of it once again.” 

“Do what?”

“Make me believe you and feel things for you and then just say that I’m a child.” 

“You’re not a child, I was dumb. On top of that you’re not 15 anymore.” 

“16 is not much of a bigger number.”

“It’s not, but I found out that the age of consent in Korea is 13, which technically means I’m not doing anything bad if I’m just kissing a 16 year old girl I’m going crazy for.” you couldn’t take his sudden confession, turning away quickly to hide away your beaming smile. “I wish we could have a date.” his chin laid on your shoulder and you shivered every time you could feel his breathing on your skin. 

“What took you so long?” you aimed to look him in the eyes but his sudden proximity made you just look forward to not get your faces too close. 

“Is it a question to fight or to tell me you needed me?” he moved away a little giving you space. 

“Both.” you turned your head to face him, taking not more than a second for Yuta to lay his lips atop of yours. Your cheeks flushed in an instance and the way his tongue slid against your teeth asking for permission to enter your mouth made you wrap your arms around his neck tightly. Yuta leaned onto the stairs behind him with his elbows, allowing for your chest to lay atop of his. Slight panic attack ran across your chest at the idea of him wanting for you to straddle his legs and you pulled back, suddenly realising that the kiss felt way too heated for what you intended. 

“What’s wrong?” his hand found your face, caressing your cheek carefully. “Your lips taste so fucking good.” his eyes took a long glance at your lips, looking back at your eyes with a smirk. “Pink and mine.” It seemed like he said it more to himself and you just overheard him on accident. 

“Yuta.” you pushed back and sat up, leaving him half laying onn the stairs. 

“Yes?” 

“I don’t like it.” 

“You don’t like what? Me?” his fingers gently ran down the back of your upper arm. 

“No, that it’s going so suddenly and so quickly. I don’t want to sit on your lap, I don’t want you to call me yours. What are we even? Nothing. Don’t push it.” he kept quiet, running his fingers up the skin of your arm and down. “And don’t touch me like that too!” you blew up suddenly  and chewed onto your lip, holding back tears with your very last breathe. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” 

“This is wrong, I just know it.”

“I know everything gives you stress, I’m stressed too, but this… I’m here to release it. I want to love you because I know I can make you happy and you can make me happy too.”

“I’m not going to be able to give you what you want.” 

“And what is it you think I want?” he chuckled and sat on your level. “I’m genuinely curious.”

“Sex?” 

“And besides that?” Yuta noticed your teary eyes, rubbing the back of his palm against your cheek. 

“More sexual interactions…?” 

“Anything else?”

“I don’t know.” you said confused not knowing what exactly he wanted to hear from you. 

“Why is that bothering you so much? I’m not asking for sex right now, and not planning on asking you for sex any time soon either.” he took a pause to lick his lips and it struck you suddenly how actually attractive he was. “Eventually, you’ll be the one begging for release and I’ll remind of your words angel, trust me.” 

“I’ll just say it. I heard you talking with Johnny about that girl you sleep with, I heard a lot and I know I’m not that.”  

“I don’t sleep with her, I slept with her. And there’s no way I want you to be like her, i was  not even thinking of sex with you but you’re hammering the thought into my brain right now.” 

“So you never thought of it? Because I’m not attracting you in that way?” 

“Oh God, Y/n, stop.” Yuta rolled his eyes in annoyance and pulled your chin to him with just two fingers, brushing his lips slowly against yours. 

“Yuta, I’m serious, didn’t you say you agree we should talk.” you tried to push him away once again, but Yuta got glued to your body. 

“Mmh.” he mumbled in reply, moving his lips onto your jaw. “I’ll agree with anything you say.” his tongue licked your neck and he raised his head suddenly. “Does the corridor seem too warm for you?” you chuckled at his sudden  remembrance of what you told him that night. “Do you feel warm down your stomach?” he murmured and placed his lips on yours again. 

“I’m not telling you.” you whispered out of breathe when he finally moved back. 

“I know exactly what you’re feeling.” 

“How come?” 

“I can sense it in the air.” a throaty chuckle escaped his mouth and you shivered. “Your sexual frustration is going to get the very best of you too soon baby, trust me.” his lips pecked yours and he jumped up unexpectedly. “Let’s go, I’m sure you need a break before you flood the building.”

“Yuta!” you punched his shoulder blade while his hand tugged you behind him. 

“Oh, by the way. We should keep this to ourselves.”

“Okay.” you nodded understandingly. 

“Not even Jaehyun.”

“But why? He would understand.” you whined a little. You were planning to run to Jaehyun right after. 

“If you’re telling him, you’re breaking my trust, you get me?” you nodded quickly and Yuta pecked your lips satisfied. 

[lolibles]

playing video games with them| anemo boys <3

characters: kazuha, xiao and venti

very fluffy, a little suggestive in kazuha’s part, slight slight angst for xiao, crack

synopsis: what games you play with them, how they act with you!

not proofread please don’t sue me this is also very random :)

kazuha

playing stardew valley and animal crossing with kazuha is my life goal that will never be fulfilled please cry with me. anyway, just imagine cuddling on the sofa under a thick blanket on a cold rainy day with cups of hot chocolate or tea whilst playing stardew valley. the both of you work through the first year slowly as little farmers doing cute little farm things. also if you ever chose to get into a relationship with any of the npcs in the game kazuha will not be happy, he’d definitely not talk to that particular npc because he is now kazuha’s “sworn enemy”. he will also be a pouty baby, so please apologise and give him kisses. and if you REALLY want to make it up to him, ask him to marry you in animal crossing and this man will be on his knees in a split second. he’d prepare EVERYTHING, from the venue, the guests, he’d even attempt to design his own tux for his little character to wear. and you guys would have such an adorable animal crossing wedding. also because kissing in game is not enough, he’d probably kiss you irl when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss the xx. honestly i see kazuha even going out spontaneously to buy you a promise ring with a little maple leaf engraved in it for you. yes it was an animal crossing wedding, but it was a wedding non the less. playing minecraft with kazuha please, its so fucking wholesome- he’s so good at the game and he doesn’t even try. he knows all the tricks and he’s so sexy with redstone you cant convince me otherwise. he’s also an amazing builder pls wtf. AND OH MY GOD, imagine playing the sims4 with kazuha, he’d literally cry inside. you both would sit next to each other in front of the computer screen for hours just designing your characters. and you would have a little cat too. everytime kazuha’s character flirted with yours, he will definitely shoot you one of his romantic haikus. also the first time your characters woohoo’ed, he most likely would have teased you and said “its unfair that only they get to woohoo you know.” anyway i think playing wholesome games with kazuha is 10 bells out of 10 bells.

xiao

now this one is kinda scary. i think its pretty obvious that xiao plays shooter games honestly. or anything that has to do with fighting. it wasn’t unusual to hear him literally SCREAM randomly throughout the day because of a game. if you ever play shooter games with this aggressive boy, please proceed with caution. i honestly feel like he would be so caught up in the heat of the moment he’d actually forget he was playing with you. so if he ends up getting angry, please bare with him- he honestly doesn’t mean to call you bad, or useless, or trash… I SWEAR. xiao will immediately regret his words and he’d feel so bad. especially after he notices how your mood just instantly dies. he’d feel so bad, even after he apologised and you forgave him, he can’t accept the fact that he just called you- the love of his life something so vulgar. and since he’s so awkward and bad with people he’d literally feel like crying on the spot. he wouldn’t know what to do to make it up to you. the next few days, xiao was so cautious around you- even if you didn’t think much about the incident anymore. in the end even xiao was unable to stay away from you for too long, and he’d ask you to watch him play games instead- which you happily agreed to. he loves it when you straddle him while he sits in his chair while gaming though he’d never admit it. but whenever you felt him get tense, all you had to do was give him a kiss and you just knew he’d calm down. you literally work magic on him. also occasionally you’d hear some idiots in his party talking shit about him, you wouldn’t think twice before speaking into the microphone and start standing up for him, and your grip around his waist would definitely tighten a lot more. “if i ever hear you talking shit about MY boyfriend one more time, i will literally come in game and beat the absolute fuck out of you.” yassss girlboss! xiao’s heart would explode and his face would be beat red, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. also he thinks your so sexy standing up for him like that, please don’t tease him about it. i rate him a “please dont scold me im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU SUCKKKKKK”

venti

oh my god, horror games. he hates them but he can’t stop. playing phasmophobia with him would be incredibly fun, but he would make you do all the work literally. he’d be too scared to do anything- and if you ever got caught with the ghost you’d be stupid to think he’d try to save you. he would be the first one out the door and running away. he’s also so loud, your honestly more likely to get jump scared by his screaming than the actual game. other than that i think venti likes to play the sims4 too, except he’s so chaotic about it. he wants to do challenges and he also wants to make like 10 babies with you even if your sims can’t afford them- cries when they are taken away. has all the packs and just enjoys fucking around with everything- also makes bets with you, like whether your baby is going to be a boy or girl, and if you lose you owe him a kiss or he asks you to do something for him. when he plays with you, he needs to be touching your body at all times. he says it makes him feel safe, and warm. so you just let him. venti also wants to play karaoke games with you, he loves your voice so much- whether you can sing or not he loves it. but he will tease you if you cant. he loves duetting with you, to him it’s something very intimate and close to home. he wants to hold your hand and give them a squeeze as an encouragement when you sing with him. and yes you guys probably have played just dance a few times, but venti gets incredibly tired after one round- so please bare with his annoying ass. i think venti is a solid 8 red bulls out of “ive already drank 15”

guys i was supposed to include aether but his part disappeared and i- </3 i’ll have to rewrite and upload it in a second part!! heh sorry for being gone for so long, anyway i have my presentations tomorrow, a test on thursday and another presentation on friday ;-; wish me luck! ill be back writing in a few days while i suffer rn sghshshsh

also @truegaypotat my love here is some xiao content <3

[theheavenlymoon]

Gojo Satoru as your younger twin

(Female reader and will be referred to as Y/N)

⚠️MANGA SPOILERS⚠️

(I’m not caught up with it myself so I’m going off of what I know)

Let’s say you were born 7 minutes before Satoru was

You never let him live it down

Both of you have the same crystal like eyes and white hair

You’re about 3 centimeters taller than him and he hates

He will wear hills to make himself more taller

Both of you would sneak out as kids (shocker)

Obviously as kids you guys were ALWAYS getting into trouble

Pulling pranks on everyone in the clan

Staying up past midnight to sing and dance to Cyndi Lauper

Cue both of you screaming ‘Girls just wanna have fun’

I’d like to imagine whenever you two walk in a room, ABBA starts to play. Specifically ‘Lay all your love on me’ (I have no reasoning I just think it fits)

Just Gojo things 🤪

I’d like to think you’re a more mellow Satoru

You’re just as chaotic and stupid but you hide a bit more

Your number 1 hype man besides the first years

You roll out of bed, your hair looks like a birds nest and your yawning meanwhile Satoru is like: “that’s my twin, isn’t she the most amazing woman to ever grace this planet-“

Would fight anyone who didn’t agree

Both of you talking about how hot Toji is

“I’d let him choke me.” “SAME, I want him to do unspeakable things to me.”

Being besties with Geto and Shoko

You were more close to Shoko but you saw Geto as a good friend

Geto jokingly flirted with you, all in good fun right?

Not for Satoru

He wouldn’t stop glaring at Geto the rest of the day (he would’ve done more if you didn’t beat him in Rock, Paper, Scissors)

You and Satoru are pretty much inseparable 🤚

The higher up are so done with your guys bullshit

They can’t catch a break tbh

If it ain’t Satoru doing something, it’s you

Unlike Satoru, you don’t date around a lot because no really seems to interest you

You like personality in you partners, they have to being something to the table besides looks

Until you met Nanami, but we’ll get into that later

Wearing matching sunglasses and blindfolds

Same thinking

“You know what we should get for dinner?” “Cold Soba?” “It’s like you read my mind.”

Both of you being the strongest sorcers

Both of you possess the hollow technique but your’s is orange instead of purple because you may not have blue like Satrou but you have red and yellow

You are each other’s anchors

When you two lost Geto you’d never seen Satoru so devastated

You were hurting as well, losing a friend is not easy to deal with, but you put on a strong facade for Satoru

Whether he saw through it, you’re not quite sure

But when you were going through hard times Satoru was right there, every step of the way (like you are for him)

Didn’t matter if you were on your period and was crying or if your insecurities got the best of you

He was always there when you need him

On a more happy note, both of you adopting Megumi was a blast

When you saw him, you just felt the need to protect him

He was so small and frail compared to you and Satoru

When tell Satoru you were gonna adopt Megumi he gave you a look and was like “Do we have too 😒” (satoru jealous confirmed 👀)

Cue him spoiling tf out of Megumi

I wouldn’t be surprised if Megumi got the “I like personality and idc about someone’s body ” from you

You taught him well 😌

Megumi has got a stable mom figure (you) and a wine aunt that talk shit about everyone

All three of you going to the park so you and Satoru can take turn pushing little Megumi on the swings 🥺

You 100% make Megumi homemade bentos

Satoru adds a few things in the bento but for the most part it’s you

Fast forward to where Satoru is showing off to Megumi while ‘fighting’ Sukuna on the school roof (could that be considered at fight?-)

You show up about 1 second later after Satoru said “just ten seconds” (you were looking at the deserts but they didn’t have any strawberry cake so you left)

You ask Megumi what’s going on and gives a brief explanation

“Itadori swallowed one of Sukuna’s fingers” he told you

You were a little surprised your main concern was Megumi

You used a reverse cursed technique to help heal Megumi

By the time you were done the ten seconds was up and Itadori was back

“Who the woman with the white hair?” he asked

“I’m Y/N Gojo, it’s nice to meet you Itadori.” You give him a small smile before Satoru knocks him out

The next time you see him is when all of you were going to pick up the final first year

“I’m glad to see both of you are alright.” You gave them a smile before explaining to itadori that you teach both of the first and second years (you teach the first years mostly but you help out with the second years sometimes)

After the first years get settled you call all three of them your kids

Technically you call the second years the same thing

Sometimes Sukuna will pop up on Itadori’s face to flirt with you just to get under Satoru’s skin

Does it work? Not really

You couldn’t care less cause like…he isn’t Nanami and Satoru know you’d never get with Sukuna in the first place 🤚

Doesn’t stop Sukuna from trying

This is random but you, Itadori, and Satoru singing karaoke

When we’re human specifically from princess and the frog

You = Tiana

Satoru = Prince Naveen

Itadori = Louis (the alligator)

Let’s focus on your interactions with your students for now

Everyone calls you Y/N-Sensei so they don’t get you confused with Satoru

You always make it a goal to compliment your students every once in a while

The work really hard and you couldn’t be more proud of them

“Keep up the good work Inumaki!!” “THAT’S MY NOBARA” “KICK SOME ASS YUTA!!”

You also ask how their doing mentally and other small things like that

Sometimes all they need is a hug and some praise for them to work even harder but also know that their work is being noticed

These kids have been through a lot, and as someone who has also been through a lot, you get it

All of your students have called you mom at least once

You always respond tho

All in all, your student love you to pieces

Now you and Nanami 😩

When you were younger you had a small crush on a boy but he didn’t like you back because “you’re too tall” (Satoru almost went feral, almost)

You’ve been a pretty insecure about it ever since

Now Nanami is 6’0 which gives you 3 inches and a few centimeters over him

And because of this you’ve been going back and forth about telling him for a while now

(Little do you know that Nanami has liked you since the day you two met)

You and him were pretty good friends

He calls you the more competent Gojo

When Satoru finds out about your crush on Nanami he has mixed feelings

(maybe screaming about Nanami in you room when Satoru was home was not one of your smartest moments)

Satoru constantly teasing you about Nanami

“Hey Y/N, is this you and Nanami?”

*does the make out thing where you turn your back and move your arms*

“I should’ve absorbed you when we were in the womb.”

Satoru can be a sweet brother when he wants too though

He constantly reassures you that Nanami won’t care about your height and while it helps it doesn’t wash away all the worry

At some point Satoru get tired of all the pining and decides to take matters into his own hands 💃🕺

He gets your students in on it too

All of them help compose a letter and Satoru gives it to Nanami saying it’s from you

The letter is basically like “I really like you a lot but I need to tell you in person so meet me under the cherry tree”

Nanami (who is blushing may I add) leaves to head toward the tree

(Shojou style bby)

After that he tells you that Nanami need to see you

Satoru stops you a little before you reach the tree to tell you that he and the kids forged a letter and that you’ll need to explain how you feel about Nanami for real

He also says that Nanami’s favorite part of you is your eyes and proceeds to steal your blindfold

Before you can beat him to a pulp he gives you a wink and then disappears leaving you flustered and mad

You take a deep breath and start to head towards the tree

When you make it there, you make eye contact with Nanami and your face immediately starts to get red

One of the strongest sorcerers stumbling over her words just for a guy

I don’t think Nanami understand the power he has over you-

ANYWAYS 💃

You decide to be as straight forward as you can and he accepts your confession! He tells you that was in love with you the day he saw you (which makes you feel a bit light headed)

After you guys plan out your first date both of you we’re bout to leave when-

“CONGRATULATIONS Y/N SENSEI” “Salmon!”

The first and second years (including Satoru) jumped out of the bushes they were hiding in and went to congratulate you and Nanami

Satoru smacking on the back going “I knew you had it in you sis.” While twirling your blindfold with his fingers

At this point, your face was different shades of red but you just shook you head and laughed

You were still a little angry at Satoru but in the end he got you a very caring boyfriend so you can’t be super mad at him right?

✨Back to you and Satoru✨

You can’t convince me that Satoru doesn’t love musicals

You just can’t

Takes you to every musical that’s available when you guys have days off

His fav is probably Heathers

When I said you guys can read each other’s minds I wasn’t playing

In battles together you guys can glance at each other and immediately know what the other wants/needs

One twin would commit mass murder for the other

Both of you will always be there for each other for infinity 💪

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[faesrepose]

what dating elliot’s stupid ass would be like:

elliot x fem!reader

kinda wrote this based off of me LMFAO

♡ smoking in your room, especially with el, because your mom is pretty laid back since she smokes as well

♡ this mf will call you at 2 am just to ask if you wanted to come over and smoke

♡ you guys are one of those corny stoners who love to watch bojack horseman or rick and morty after a smoke sesh

♡ foreheadkissesforeheadkissesforeheadkisses

♡ ELLIOT IS ALWAYS WITH YOU. he will not give you a break i swear

♡ he’s completely and utterly attached to you and always wants you to come over or come with him places just to have you around with him

“do you really have to go out tonight to dinner with your mom? come over and i’ll make you something bro”

♡ when both of you are stupidly high from a few bong rips, you try to force elliot to listen to kpop ..

♡ this mf laughs as he lets out a small cough from the j he just hit, “baby i’m not listening to kpop”

♡ this loser ends up liking the few girl group songs you played for him :|

“i see you over there tapping your foot to twice bitch”

♡ both of you fucking around and dancing to gee by girls generation LMFAOEB

♡ him genuinely wanting/trying to get clean because he has something permanent in his life that he doesn’t want to fuck up for once.

♡ reminding him how proud you are that he’s genuinely trying not to feed into his temptations with drugs

♡ rather than losing it on him, you remind him that this path is not going to be linear 

♡ “yo are you trying to like... seduce me right now?” anytime you make a stupid sexual joke around him and shower him in affection

♡ he likes when you put makeup on him 

♡ HE LOVES WHEN YOU PAINT HIS NAILS

♡ especially when you try different colors on different nails

♡ el is definitely comfortable in his masculinity that makeup and painting his nails or wearing things you have him try on do not bother him :’)

♡ smoking with him and his cousin in the living room all the time

♡ he definitely loves to watch true crime shit with you (especially while high) and have deep conversations about conspiracies and the murder cases both of you just watched

♡ you and jules making this mf dress up with cool outfits you pick for him from his closet all the time. listen, he won’t admit it but he likes to model for your fashion masterpieces

♡ he loves watching u sleep when he accidentally wakes up in the middle of the night or wakes up to you in the morning. he didn’t realize he could love a person in the way that he does with you so it’s a lovely sight for him

♡ “bro you’re so grooosss” he’d sometimes liked to say jokingly, any time you get carried away kissing up on his neck while he’s bein sweet to you whenever you guys are in his room

♡ YEAH THATS ANOTHER THING, you guys call each other dude and bro as if you two are best friends even though you’ve been dating for awhile now

♡ sleeping over all the time!!!!! you’re bigger than the other girls he’s been with but this doesn’t change anything though. what he feels for you is genuine and he sees you in such a beautiful light, an example being how he loves to offer you his baggier tees so you’re still included in wearing his stuff :(

♡ you sometimes feel insecure due to it but it’s not his fault. you just let your insecurities get the best of you

♡ “baby are you fucking serious? there’s nothing wrong with you. i promise you that you’ve got quite the killer body”

♡ him wiping your tears and kissing the side of your head repeatedly, making you laugh as a result

♡ trauma dumping because ya’ll both absolutely trust each other with so much.

♡ dumb texts between the two of you all the time

el ^_^ : guess what

you: meow

el ^_^ : deez nuts

♡ he’s always playing his guitar around u whenever you did homework or doodled in your notebook

♡ he loves to sing shit quietly for you all the time and you find it soothing

“ el that was really fucking good what”

“don’t lie to me”

“IM SERIOUS”

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Can I ask what it would be like for Solsu having to take care of drunk romanced companions? Bonus points if they're told about their shenanigans afterword.

Cait:

(Angry drunk)

•It's best that you don't drink in polite company with her. She's already a feisty individual with a burning passion for inflicting pain, you make her drunk and it's only a matter of time before she incites some horrible fight.

•Sounds funny, but it's really not. Reign her back. Please.

Curie:

.......you aren't really gonna let her drink, right? I highly advise you don't....

Danse:

(Horny drunk 👀)

•Danse hardly ever partakes in more than a couple glasses with company and this is exactly why.

•At first it all starts off nice and smooth, just Danse beginning to gradually relax- which is "outstanding" considering his usual rigid disposition. However once that fine line of too many drinks have been crossed, all hell breaks loose.

•It'll start with comments on your appearance, simple incessant "you look beautiful"s spoken with dazed eyes...then it escalates to Danse pulling you into his lap where you're met with his obvious "intentions" prodding you in the ass, all while being held in a bear hug from a blushing, smiling Paladin who happens to look like a kicked puppy when you make him calm down with a drink of water. Don't worry, he might mope but he'll quit if you tell him to.

•Perks back up when you tell him it's time to go to bed...only to mope even more when he realizes that no, it isn't for sexy times. No worries, he'll be happy so long as you let him hold you..

•Is absolutely ashamed and horrified of his behavior when he wakes up and you tell him what went down. Probably will hide his face in his pillows and try to disappear. Swears he won’t drink again and make a fool of himself like that….will totally drink some more.

•Just be lucky he wasn’t feeling melancholic like a post BB Danse would.

Deacon:

(Stupid drunk..)

•Ever seen that one video of that guy busting through drywall like Kool-Aid Man? That's Deacon's level of maturity when properly intoxicated.

•No worries, Desdemona is going to bitch at him from the time he does something too stupid until he isn't even drunk anymore. Frankly, he deserves it too- he's destructive, reckless, and...well..hilarious, but that doesn't mean it's redeemable!

•He seems to perfectly remember all his antics, some he even reflects upon with a proud grin..until his hangover ends up making him wince in pain. Just...take care of him, there isn't any point in trying to scold him. Des has that covered anyways.

Gage:

(Emotional drunk)

•A drunk gage was both extremely rare because of his genuine hate for alcohol and also very shocking. Sure, one may assume that someone so rugged and tough like a raider- especially Gage- would have no issue handling his liquor....oh how wrong you could be...

•You weren't entirely sure what happened, much less where he got the idea, but somehow Gage got the absurd notion that you decided he wasn't good enough for you and you were going to just leave him behind. He'd keep it in for a while, slowly growing more quiet as he took practical gulps of his drink. That doesn't last.

•Eventually he starts to cry, silent tears pouring from his good eye. Whenever you actually notice, it's too late. Just pray no one else is around when this next part happens.

•All it takes is you coming to his side, placing a comforting hand on his back and he crumbles. He'll grab you and push his face into your chest and start sobbing, wailing incoherently as he begs you to not leave him.

•It might seem humorous, but it raised several questions.

•The morning after his outburst, you wake up extra early to present him with a half way decent breakfast in bed- extra grease on the food for good measure. Once he seems to be more coherent, you make sure to talk to him about his apparent fear of you not loving him...which brings him close to tears once again whenever you finally convince him that you do in fact love him and won't ever leave his side so long as he loves you back.

Hancock:

(Stealthy drunk)

•Unfortunately, the mayor of Goodneighbor doesn't really have any fun antics..well at least any that would point to him being intoxicated. Sorry.

Macready:

(Over indulging drunk)

•Mac is arguably the best one to get shit faced with, especially if you like drugs and food. Oh yeah, something about eating while intoxicated is irresistible to him. Think of it like munchies, but in Mac's case, five times as bad.

• After a couple drinks, Mac nonchalantly will reach into his pocket- gesturing for you to come close- before putting a cigarette in your mouth and lighting up- using your's to light his own. If you don't set a stopping point, the two of you will wake up down two packs, several empty containers of jet, and crumbs everywhere.

•When faced with the consequences of his gluttony, Mac will just sit there and whine as his stomach does cartwheels. That's punishment enough...

Maxson:

(Mr. Vomits-a-lot drunk)

•It takes a whole hell of a lot for Maxson to get shitfaced thanks to his rather strict habitual drinking. After all, it would be a strange day if you didn't see him knock a bottle of whisky out before finally turning in..which was kind of sad come to think of it..

•Nonetheless, he does occasionally push his limits when he's especially stressed and it's never pleasant when he does.

•It was sort of funny, in retrospect. One minute you and him were sitting on the flight deck together, casually talking whilst finishing off a bottle of shitty vodka (unknowing that he had already burned through countless bottles before meeting you) when suddenly Arthur started to look pale. It just kept getting worse until eventually he was frantically motioning for you to follow him as he ran to the railings, sticking his head over before throwing up whatever was on his stomach..sending it to a several hundred foot drop below.

•It's a good thing you held him, otherwise the brotherhood might've been short an elder and you short a partner.

•When confronted with his..let's say "overindulgence", he'll sort of look away and try to change the subject. It's probably best if you try to hide liquor for a while. 

Nick:

(Doesn't drink....)

Old Longfellow:

With his age and experience? He's the same as Hancock.

Piper:

(Daredevil drunk)

•Hope you're sober, because if you aren't- there's a good chance you'll be spending the night in Diamond City Jail.

•Piper is reckless on a good day, putting alcohol with that in mass quantities and she's wild. Just hope you have strong will, because she sure as shit isn't going to back down easy.

•It's kind of funny, but her go to is to do crazy shit. Jump off the roof? Hold her cup. Want to vandalize the great green wall? Fuck yeah. Nothing beats the time she wasn't careful and threw a lit cigarette down Ann Codman's cleavage during a heated argument with her.

•She has no regrets either, so don't expect her to be remorseful in the morning whenever you tell her what she did. If anything, she'll just laugh next time she sees Ann.

Preston:

(Over thinking drunk)

•If it wasn't lowkey annoying, you'd probably think Preston's drunken neuroticism was hilarious. Not to be gotten wrong, but even sober, your love could be extremely insistent..mix his anxious attitude with liquor and you end up with a terrible night.

•You knew better than to let him have more than a couple beers, seeing as his tolerance wasn't exactly the best, and yet here you were. Preston pensively sitting at the bar beside you, rich eyes narrowed and focused on the liquid in his glass- his hands resting against his head.

•"I know you're dying to ask...." "Okay babe, since you brought it up...do you think putting electrical wire around our people's settlements would be a bad idea? It might closely resemble a prison but it's for their own good. Wait- shit, what about the kids? Oh god..."

•He may just sheepishly rub the back of his head and apologize in the morning..but he'll be quick to revisit some of the key points and ideas with you if you so much as give him a chance.

X6-88:

(Ridiculous drunk)

•It was only one time..thankfully.

•You, and your whole group of friends had to convince him to try it out- but once he started, he couldn't stop.

•This asshole would throw down drinks faster than Hancock..which was terrible considering his painfully low tolerance to alcohol.

•One thing goes to another and next thing you know, "The Wanderer" is playing in the background, X is singing and dancing like an idiot, and everyone is gathered around- terrified at what they were seeing. It's sort of like seeing a deathclaw do ballet- so, totally understandable.

•He dares you to bring it up later, dares you.

[ateezthings]

ATEEZ Reaction: Forced breakup with S/O + admitting their insecurities

@hongjoongscftie said: “Hey :) first thing,I hope you're having an amazing day! And secondly,could I maybe request an ateez reaction? I was thinking of the ateez members being insecure about something on themselves (like voice,looks,etc) and reader is telling them that there's nothing to worry about,and that they love them just how they are,and that they always will be there for ateez,but a week later the management is forcing reader to break up with their boyfriend,because it could affect their career,and as they are packing their things (member) walks in? I don't know if this made sense,and I'm sorry for my bad english 🥺”

I hope this is what you had in mind 😊 (Also please normalize dudes talking about insecurities)

 Genderneutral

Angst, Fluffy moments

Pairings: You x each member

Warnings: language, breakups, topics of body image, insecurities, crying (San’s part is the most heartbreaking)

Word count: 3.2K

 Songs, that convey the feeling I was going for:

     Twocolors – Lovefool

     Lauv – The Other

     Young Lions – You Are II

     One Republic – Didn’t I

     Halsey - Sorry

*~Seonghwa~*

“Do you like my voice?”

It was late. Seonghwa and you were in bed, about to fall asleep.

“Hm? Yeah, sure Hwa, there’s a reason you sell so many albums.”

“That’s not what I asked, I wanted to know if you like my voice.”

Now you sat up, he really was unsure of this. “Seonghwa, I love your voice… You don’t know this but whenever you’re gone over night, I listen to your demos to hear you sing because it helps me fall asleep.”

That statement conjured a shy smile on his face. “I love you Y/N” He pressed a kiss on your forehead.

…

“No no no… don’t leave me Y/N, please, don’t.”

After the very stern talk with their manager, you had no choice but to pack your bags. Halfway through packing, Seonghwa barged in, a panicked look in his eyes, worried when he saw your tear-stained face.

“We can talk about this… just please, don’t go like this” While begging you to stay he took your clothes out of the bag.

“Mr. Kim made it quite clear that I should leave if I don’t want to ruin your career… I don’t think we have a choice Seonghwa”

“We do, I’ll talk to him, we can be together... maybe we’ll have to stay quiet for a few months, but I can’t lose you, I love you so much and I don’t think I could live without you now, so tell me you really would be okay with leaving, because I don’t think you are” He spoke so fast, you had trouble understanding him.

A new wave of tears rolled down your cheeks as you slowly approached him. “I’m not, I’m not okay with leaving you because I need you too.”

He opened his arms to hug you. Feeling his heartbeat next to your ear calmed you down.

 *~Hongjoong~*

“Ugh, I need to train more” He mumbled when he saw himself in the mirror.

“What did you say?” You knew from your own experience that insecurities could consume your whole thinking, so you wanted to prevent that from happening to your boyfriend.

“I just wish I had bigger arms, I look like a weakling next to the other guys.”

“No… no you don’t, you look perfect to me, you know I love you the way you are… Please don’t think about it too much, Joong.”

“Baby, I love you too, thank you” He put an arm around you shoulder and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

…

You didn’t remember the walk home after the talk with Ateez’ manager. You couldn’t leave him. Hongjoong was the first serious relationship you had in quite a long time; you couldn’t give him up. But you couldn’t lie, talking to their manager intimidated you a lot. You didn’t know what would happen if you didn’t comply, and you didn’t want to find out.

You were still in a state of shock when Hongjoong arrived.

“Y/N? Are you home?” He practically ran to the bedroom where you were.

“Please Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t know they’d do this” He helped you sit up on the bed and crouched down in front of you. You still couldn’t talk.

“Babe, please talk to me.”

Finally, you looked at him. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to leave, but I also don’t want to be the reason for your problems… Please tell me what to do.”

“I don’t want you to leave me” There was genuine worry in his eyes. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you… and I think we’ll find a way to deal with them.”

At the moment, you really needed him to be optimistic for the both of you. Slowly, you cupped his face with your hands, you never wanted to forget his face. “I’ll stay with you.”

 *~Yunho~*

“Y/N, can I talk to you about something?”

“Always, babe, what’s going on?”

You two were cuddling in his bed after a long and stressful day.

“Do you think I should get a six pack?” When you looked at him, he was biting his lip.

“Where is this coming from?” You knew he needed to be in shape to be an idol, but he was, there was nothing you’d change about him.

He still didn’t look at you “I just… Sometimes when we have dance rehearsal, I feel stupid standing next to San, we’re both dancers but his abs are amazing, he’s been working so hard, and it’s really paid off… we gained a lot of fans through him…”

“Alright listen to me Yunho:  If there are fans that are only here for your look, that’s pretty shallow, of course it’s nice to look at pretty people but your message and the songs and your energy is much more important… You are in shape, you’re a main dancer, rationally I don’t think you need to change anything if you’re happy with yourself… and if you’d like to know… I like your soft tummy; I wouldn’t change a thing about you… I love you.”

He finally looked at you, his eyes sparkling, slowly breaking into a smile “I love you too, baby, what would I do without you?”

…

Tears were running down your cheeks, blurring your vision while you were trying to put your clothes into a bag. A friend had offered you could stay with him for a few weeks after Ateez’ manager told you, you needed to leave Yunho. You couldn’t believe it. They didn’t leave you a choice, either you’d leave voluntarily, or they’d have to take more serious measures.

You hadn’t talked to Yunho, but you figured their manager did. You didn’t want to make it harder than it already was. Leaving without a trace would be the best.

Suddenly you heard the door open, no, you couldn’t deal with him now.

“Y/N?” It sounded like he was out of breath once he arrived at the bedroom where you were.

“Y/N? please don’t do this.” His eyes were wide open.

“What choice do I have? You don’t need me to ruin your career.”

“I don’t care about that; I care about you… I can’t live without you, please” He moved closer to take your hands into his. His eyes stared into yours, you could almost see his pain.

You let yourself fall into his arms, letting the tears flow “I love you, Yunho… I don’t wanna go.”

He held you close to him, running his hands through your hair “Then stay.”

 *~Yeosang~*

“Hi, baby… I’ve missed you today.”

Yeosang had just come home from work. You greeted him with a big hug. He buried his head in your neck and you could feel him shifting some of his weight onto you.

“Are you okay, Yeo?”

You could hear him breath deeply. “Actually, no, I feel like shit… Remember how we were recording our new song today?”

“Yeah, the one you practiced really hard for.”

“Yeah that. And I totally messed it up… I couldn’t get this one melody right and they were all telling me how I was supposed to sing it, but I didn’t get it right, so I have to go back there tomorrow.”

The way he looked at you reminded you of a hurt puppy, your heart burst inside. So, you pulled him into a hug again. “I’m so sorry, Yeo, that must’ve felt horrible… but I think everyone has bad days sometimes.”

“But it’s made me really insecure of my singing now… I don’t know how I’ll shake that off…”

“It’s okay to doubt yourself sometimes Yeosang, but don’t forget that you’re a professional singer, you have a great voice, so many people love your voice, including me, and you will be able to nail it eventually, you just had an off day, and that’s totally okay… You know there’s probably days were even Beyonce can’t hit the right notes, so don’t worry too much.”

He chuckled a little at your remark and finally looked up at you again to press a kiss on your cheek. “Thank you, love.”

“Now relax and let me take your mind off that.”

…

“Yeosang, I’m sorry, they left me no choice but to leave…” The tears were streaming down your cheeks, you had given up on trying to hold them back a long time ago. Yeosang however, still hadn’t said a word since he came home to you packing your bags. He just stood in the doorframe to the bedroom.

“I’m not going to stand in the way of you and your career, I know how important it is to you, so I guess… I guess this is good-goodbye…” Your voice was dangerously unsteady.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” You tried to wipe your nose on the sleeves of your hoodie when he handed you a tissue.

Slowly he walked over to you and took you into his arms. You could feel his heartbeat.

“Please, don’t go now…” His voice was only a whisper. “Y/N… don’t you love me anymore?”

In between soft cries you managed to utter a response. “I do lo-love you… but is that enough?”

You looked up at him. You could tell he feared what was to come.

“It is enough for me… I love you so much Y/N, promise you won’t ever leave without talking to me first?”

“I promise” The kiss that followed tasted like salty tears, but it solidified the love you had for Yeosang.

 *~San~*

“San, are you alright? You seem distant.”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine”

You two were having dinner at your favorite restaurant, but he hadn’t spoken much. Usually, he’d tell you how his day went, but not today.

“Are you sure?”

“Alright, no… I feel under pressure because I need to maintain my abs. Now that I’ve showed them, I feel like everyone expects me to be the muscular guy now… but you know that’s not natural for me.”

You felt for him. He worked so hard but now it was getting too much.

“San, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone… It’s fine if your abs are not visible all the time… You need to take care of yourself… mentally… and I love you with or without abs if that helps.”

He softly put his hand on yours. “It does help.”

…

His management knew you two had been dating for only a few months, but it was getting serious. And they disregarded that. Being forced to breakup never even entered your mind, so it came as quite the shock to you when Mr. Kim, Ateez’ manager, revealed that you indeed had to break up with San.

At home you were halfheartedly putting your clothes in suitcases, but it felt surreal. Like a nightmare.

You had gotten so used to living with San and to think that it was all over now, because you needed to protect his career made your eyes fill with tears.

When the first tear hit the floor, you heard the door open. San stood next to you just a moment later. He himself had red swollen eyes, you assumed he had been crying too.

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re actually thinking about leaving me?”

“What choice do we have?” Your tears threatened to spill again.

“I-I don’t know right now, Y/N, but I’ll figure something- we will figure something out, please don’t do this right now, I can’t have you leave me, please.” The more he spoke, the faster and the more panicked his tone got, his eyes opened wide. His hands gripped your arms on each side. You assumed it took a lot out of him not to shake you.

“San, I don’t think that’s a- a possibility anymore… Mr. Kim, he sounded so serious…”

Suddenly he let go of you and took a step back. “Do you- do you want to go?”

You didn’t know what you wanted anymore. It was late and you were drained. Apparently, you hesitated a little too long for San’s liking because he turned around, headed for the door.

“No, San, don’t leave, please, I don’t-” But he was already out the door.

Had you not felt broken-down, you might have followed him out the door, but not like this. You collapsed to your knees and let the tears wash the little composure that was left, away.

 *~Mingi~*

“Wow, Y/N, you look gorgeous.”

Mingi entered your shared bedroom while you were putting on some makeup.

“Thanks, baby”

He walked behind you to look at the mirror. A few moments passed when you realized he was staring at his own reflection.

“What are you thinking?”

He took a deep breath before answering. “I’m wondering if my face is handsome enough.”

That was it, you weren’t having him doubting himself. You turned to look straight into his eyes. “Listen to me, your face is so unusually handsome, I’m still amazed whenever I look at you… your eyes are so warm, they’re my favorite feature of yours… also your face is doing a pretty good job at keeping your eyes, nose and lips in place, so you really shouldn’t complain” You had hoped a little humor would take his mind off his insecurity.

He chuckled. “That’s why we’re in a relationship, you always talk me out of bad moments… thank you baby.”

…

Mingi was already home when you got there. For a while you just looked at each other, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Hi…”

“Y/N, I didn’t know they want us to break up, I’m sorry, I’m going to talk to them.”

You couldn’t help but hug him. He was your safe place. “I don’t want us to breakup, Mingi… I can’t lose you” The thought of not having him in your life drew tears in your eyes, it was too painful.

“Shh shh, you’re not going to lose me… I won’t let that happen.” He tried to calm you down by caressing your hair. “We’ll find a way” He whispered, more to himself than to you.

 *~Wooyoung~*

It was very early in the morning. Wooyoung was already getting dressed while you were having trouble to get out of bed.

“Babe, do you think my thighs are too big? I feel like my jeans are getting tighter…”

Once you opened your eyes you saw Wooyoung trying to squeeze his fabulous thighs into some jeans, he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

You slowly got out of bed, not taking your eyes off him.

“Clothes can always be altered… and I love your thighs… they’re really… hot” You blushed a little.

“Is that so?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and kissed you.

…

Why did you have so many clothes? All the tears blurred your vision and whenever you put five shirts in your suitcase another ten were behind that, it was frustrating.

You tried to focus on the simple task of packing, trying hard not to think about the whole situation. You couldn’t believe they expected you to leave Wooyoung. You loved him, and he loved you. And that was supposed to not matter at all?

When you were done, you just sat on the bed. You were worn-out from crying so much.

You didn’t even hear him enter the apartment. Suddenly Wooyoung stood in front of you in the bedroom.

“I came as soon as I heard… I’m sorry babe… you don’t deserve all this shit.” He helped you stand up and took you into his arms.

“I’m just tired, Woo.”

His response was to hold you closer to his chest. “I know… we can go to bed.”

A few minutes later you were lying in his arm about to drift off to sleep, leaving your troubles behind.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I just have one question.”

“What is it?”

You could hear him inhale deeply.

“Would you- Are you considering leaving me?”

You didn’t think he’d be thinking about that. “Wooyoung, I love you; I will never leave you… I thought you knew that…”

He pressed a short kiss in your hair. “I just needed to hear that… I love you so much, little one.”

  *~Jongho~*

“Baby, do you think my butt is too big?”

You were just about to leave for work when you saw him standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom.

“Hu- wh-what?” You took a few steps towards him to give his booty a little slap.

“Jong, booties can never be too big” You smirked at him. “I love your cute little butt… and I love you… so stop being insecure about it” You pressed a kiss on his cheek. He blushed.

…

After your meeting with a KQ executive, you couldn’t think straight. They told you, you needed to leave Jongho as soon as possible because of his career.

Somehow you made it back home where you collapsed into your tears. After a few minutes you mustered up enough courage to pack your bags.

You left the apartment with two suitcases dragging behind you. You had almost made it to the end of the street when you saw him running towards you. “Y/N wait!”

When he finally stood in front of you, he was quite out of breath. Looking at him drew more tears into your eyes. You had trouble holding them back “Jongho, we don’t have a choice, I need to do this, I can’t keep hurting you more.”

“No, please, I love you, this is hurting me more than my career ever could… please don’t leave me, we’ll find a way to fix this.”

He held one of your hands in his two big hands, his eyes opened wide.

You really weren’t sure if you could hide your relationship from his agency and the fans. You were so unsure of the whole situation, but you knew you loved him.

After a few moments of silence, you kissed him with all your passion.

“I do love you Jong, but this is going to be really hard, so I need you to help me when I doubt myself, when I doubt us.”

“I will, I won’t let you go again.”