#as someone who does academic research for fun

[anonymous-dentist]

I've gotta actually feel bad for the helpful members of the wiki team because they all know that their wiki is god awful for any kind of accurate information. It got to the point in December where they'd stream working on the wiki to prove that it's a totally legitimate service but like. Also it's objectively terrible! Any website trying to gather and consolidate information should focus on, you know, having accurate information before trying to make it big via connections with the Quackity Studio Team and with ccs.

Like, did you know that the wiki supposedly has a podcast going with ccs to talk about Lore And Stuff? With a whole One Single Episode? And then there's them reaching out to streamer mods to ask about boundaries to put on the wiki that's a whole Problem in itself, and the wiki team repeatedly sending weird unfunny donos to Fit and "jokingly" heckling him and Tubbo and Phil and whatever cc they feel that they can "banter" with despite not knowing these people whatsoever and despite the ccs really just not giving a shit about the wiki anymore. Like, I don't think a single cc outside of the one dude that did the podcast with the wiki team has mentioned the wiki in any substantial way since November when Cellbit called the wiki and its members out for messing with both his and Richarlyson's pages- without citation or reason- to add the family dynamic.

But then the team has its connections within the Quackity Studios team itself, and that's how it gets some of its information about the server itself. And that's admirable in its own way, I guess, but the way certain members of the wiki team act really just makes it seem like they're trying to nepotism their way(s) into making it big and/or make it onto the Q Studios team itself.

And the thing is? There are people on the team who at least seem to genuinely want to make the wiki a useful tool again. They know that they have problems, but things are rarely ever fixed because whether or not it's fixed depends heavily on which admin is online when you @ them on Twitter or dm them. In my own experience, I've been ghosted for over 12 hours before a different admin got online and answered me, and then a third different admin got back to me after that. The first time I dmed them, two different admins dmed me, and their responses were entirely different. One was helpful, the other just kinda brushed off my concerns entirely.

Going through the wiki's twitter account, you can see exactly where the wiki's priorities lie, because the majority of the account is non-stop retweeting of (very good!!) fanart of the English-speaking ccs, primarily Philza and the "Death Family", as they call Phil and Missa and Tallulah and Chayanne and Wilbur. Sometimes it's Fit instead. Very rarely will you find any retweeted art of the Brazilian or Hispanic ccs outside of the occasional Guapoduo/Spiderbit fanart, and there's very rarely French fanart retweeted. I've never seen fanart of the Hispanic ccs retweeted. I don't think I've seen fanart of a single female cc retweeted ever from any language. When art of the Death Family is retweeted, it rarely contains Missa; it's mostly all just Phil fanart, which just really shows the bias going on because you know which wiki admin is behind all this. They're the same one who donates to Fit every day and tries bantering with the ccs and tried applying to Purgatory and... yeah.

Oh, and the wiki's One Certain Admin will just come out and tweet that something is canon without it being canon. Take their tweet from what I think was the second day of Purgatory, aka when Baghera and Cellbit jokingly called Phil "dad" out of character, and when that One Certain Admin tweeted (this is paraphrased, btw), "So the found family is canon now! Let's put it on the wiki!"

And when the wiki's account will retweet other things that aren't canon, like calling the Prison Ghost "the Ghost of q!Cellbit" on the first day of prison without waiting for confirmation.

And it's HORRIBLE because I know that there are "good" wiki admins on the team! They can be very helpful! They're so willing to work with Tumblr and our complaints that they listened to me when I recommended they make a Tumblr account so we can have open communication with them rather than have everything depend on the Twitter community, and they're working on the account and putting a little team together for it as of last week when we last corresponded.

It's just that. The wiki sucks. It's a mess of disinformation and headcanons with no citations and no protections against disinformation. They could lock down certain pages until things are cleared up. They could appoint only certain people to be able to work on character pages to ensure fact-checking and citing.

They could do anything, but they won't because information isn't the wiki's priority anymore. It's starting to become clear that the point of the wiki is to be the wiki with no actual work put into being the wiki. And it's sad, because the wiki used to be actually useful for so long. But, at some point, it stopped being reliable, and you can see the public starting to realize it starting in November when the wiki account started trying to do literal damage control streams to show that the wiki is reliable, and then there's now when ccs who used to reference the wiki all the time rarely do so because they know that it isn't an actual source of information anymore.

Imagine that.

[oillipheist9000]

Heyy

So, this is mostly just a fun timeline I made with little research backing it, but I thought it might be cool to share?

It goes through what historical events happened throughout Alastor’s life that might have impacted him and sets the stage for what his life might have looked like. It does hinge quite a bit on US history, so I will also touch on parts of that for our friends who aren’t from the US and don’t know : D

Now keep in mind that this is more of just a list of fun facts that i’ve shoved into a readable outline, than anything put together lol.

Alastor is said to be in his 30’s or 40’s when he died in 1933, this puts his year of birth at a rough range of 1890-1900. For the purpose of this timeline, I will be assuming that Alastor was born in the year 1902 because I want to. This would make him 31 at the time of his death.

In 1892, the supreme court ruled on Plessy vs Ferguson, which was what established the idea of ‘Separate but Equal’ <- (i'm assuming people know what that is and stuff, if you don’t know, feel free to ask, I can give more of a history lesson)

From 1900-1909, education past the 5th grade did not EXIST in New Orleans for black children. This is a large part of why I believe a birth year of at least 1900 would be more accurate for Alastor, as he would have been 7-9 (2nd-4th) when middle school (6th-8th) became available to him.

In 1917, McDonogh No. 35 High School became the first public high school for black teens. Alastor would have been 15 in my timeline. This means that he would have likely been out of school for a year under the assumption that he wouldn’t be able to go anymore. (There were a couple private schools, but those were Expensive!!)

1920: KKK reemerged in Louisiana <- (again, assuming people know the history on this, if you would like a quick history lesson, lmk!!)

In 1921, Alastor graduated! Yay!! He is now 19!

Now, a fun fact! Throughout all of this, radio has not existed as a Thing in New Orleans. Alastor would not have grown up listening to the radio. It would have been new tech for him!!

In 1922, the first radio station came to New Orleans!!! It’s called WWL and it runs … drumroll please … ADS!!! In an attempt to raise funds for Loyola University! Exciting, right? : D

By 1927, the Federal Radio Commission was established in an effort to help organize airwaves, which had become messy and disorganized from the abundance of unlicensed, random people broadcasting.

1933: Alastor dies D:

Also 1933, oddly enough, A newspaper somehow managed to get radio stations in New Orleans legally banned from airing news from the last 24 hours?????

An interesting note. This ban went through in the summer. Deer season is in the winter (Dec-Jan), so it was either banned 6 months before or 6 months after Alastor’s death

1934: FRC is replaced by the Federal Communications Commission

This is pretty much all I have. I also am including some of the links to sources that I thought were interesting. Super open to discussions and questions lol. Hope someone enjoyed reading all this lmao

And also @nunalastor cause you seemed interested and I finally got everything together lol

[gingacat]

twisted from: no one, she's just a Brazilian piranha

name: Valesca Vêkanandre

birthday: July 11 (Cancer)

age: 16

height: 147 cm

homeland: the twst equivalent of the Amazon River

grade: Freshman

class: B

club: Film Research Club

best subject: Astrology

hobbies: Capoeira

favorite food: Acai

least favorite food: Raisins

talent: Gambling

nicknames: Val-val or Lele (Cater), Madame Veinarde (Rook), Tuna (Grim)

Personality

Valesca is someone who's easy to get along with, she's friendly, cheerful, sweet and always has a genuine smile on her face. However, despite being academically knowledgeable, she's really dense when dealing with people.

Valesca finds it very hard to not only understand what people say, but also even listen or pay attention to them. She is the kind of person that always seems to not accompany what is happening at the moment.

Her solution for this is to always guess what others wanted to say to her, since she is a proud luck relier. This can lead to a lot of confusion and a lot of headaches for Azul.

Valesca is also very superstitious and strict with her beliefs, no matter how childish they may seem to be. “No, I can't step on the lines of the floor tiles, because if I do so, I'll die!!!”

She has a specific way of doing everything, since she believes everything has their own right way to be done. For example, if she has to open a door, there is a specific way to do so, like opening and closing the door three consecutive times, and if she does it wrong, bad things will happen. (They won't, but she believes they will.)

Background

Valesca had a considerably normal childhood. Her family was a big one and she lived with her 4 grandparents, mother, father, stepmother, 3 siblings and 3 half-siblings. Well, it actually was a turbulent and chaotic childhood, but she's had happy memories and cherishes her family.

(Sorry this is lazy 😭)

Unique Magic

Fortune Telling

After picking a target, Valesca has to guess anything about them that is true at the moment and then she can add a command for the target to follow. Only if her guess is right, the command will be followed for the duration of the spell. However, for the sake of adrenaline, Valesca can only guess ONCE and if it's wrong, it's over and she'll have to choose another target.

For example, she can guess that idk Lilia is hungry and add the command that he needs to fry some eggs. If the hungry part is right, then wherever Lilia is, he'll stop doing whatever he was doing to start frying eggs.

It's like controlling people but in a very stupid and more complicated way. Valesca thinks it's fun!!!

Trivia

The name Valesca is a reference to a Brazilian singer, Valesca Popozuda. Her last name, Vêkanandre, is a reference to a Brazilian meme, Lohane Vêkanandre.

(i might add more things here later)

a/n: phew this is the right one!! for the people who replied to the previous post, sorry i made a mistake 😅, but still thank you!! 🫶

[seruadoric]

unmasked .

incl . xie bi'an and fan wujiu ( wu chang ) , luchino diruse ( evil reptillian )

request . “ with a s/o who often wears a mask to cover their whole face, but when their in private and feel comfortable they take it off ”

content . requested work , possibly ooc , implied poly relationship w/ wu chang , headcanons , gn!reader

XIE doesn't immediately express any curiosity towards it, unlike fan and luchino.

. fan shows more interest in the mask than xie. he understands if it's for your own comfort, and won't force you to take it off for him whether or not you're in a relationship.

. both xie and fan don't pressure you about it and let you take your time with them. the two of them are very loyal and patient, so it's not a worry with them.

. xie is always very gentle and soft with you, he would be happy to see your face. just knowing that you're comfortable enough with him to reveal yourself just like that - it must not be a very easy thing to do.

. but then again, unmasked or not, it will not affect your relationship in any way. he's very loving towards you, and it remains like so.

FAN is more straightforward and outwardly expressive than xie - if he takes interest in your mask, expect a few questions about it.

. though that does not mean that fan would continuously prod about the topic; if he sees that you're uncomfortable with it he would stop immediately. though the reason as to why you wear it remains unknown, he keeps his mouth shut if you express any discomfort about the topic.

. you can't have a good relationship without trust and patience; fan knows that. he tries his best to be patient with you, and doesn't pressure you into anything. he understands your boundaries and doesn't cross them, he just learns how to shut up about it.

. fan understands the gravity of this gesture; he would be grateful that you trust him enough to show your face - something that you wouldn't do for just anyone. maybe after some time of being with him, you finally take it off. fan is proud about that gesture, and you know that he is.

LUCHINO's manic curiosity brings him success in the academic field, yet it also leads him into territories of taboo.

. luchino doesn't strike a conversation with someone first unless he finds them especially interesting. if something about you provoked the curiosity and interest in him, he'd approach you and start a conversation.

. similarly to fan, he may as well ask a few questions out of curiosity - though he understands if you don't want to disclose any of them. he might be a bit persistent on it, but ultimately doesn't mention it again.

. i believe he would be more casual than xie and fan once he sees you bare-faced. he doesn't find it that big of a deal; it's irrelevant to your relationship.

. though he knows and takes that as a sign of trust from you. he trusts you as well - you'd know from how he lets you in on his research and things he usually keeps private from others.

. he's glad you trust him enough, but something so small would never change your relationship. whatever you look like beneath that mask, he'd love you irregardless.

this was just my personal perception of wu chang and luchino, it might be a bit ooc ໒ っ˕ - ১ i've reread their lore multiple times to get a decent grip on their personalities, though i'm not sure if i did a very good job on it ! still, this was very fun to write ໒ ◜ ﻌ ◝ ১

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

“And the relative simplicity of her music works with people who just want something mindlessly play in the background. It's also really easy for average people- who have no musical background- to sing along with. The lines are simple rhymes, and she never really uses any specialized vocal techniques like Vibrato. Basically, it's music for bland people who think salt is a spice.”

Some of your takes are valid and it’s healthy to critique anything that amasses such a large following in pop culture. However I would argue there is a way to do this without coming across as a pretentious undergraduate who read a few required and recommended readings from the syllabus and now sips their tea with a pinkie protruding. Let’s remember that tumblr is not inherently full of academics and defining anyone who hasn’t got a certain level of education as average or bland is such an Americanised, my way or the highway way of thinking.

It is possible to have differing opinions to others without insulting their intelligence or falsely presenting them in a certain way. Average people as a term in general, is quite elitist and classist. For example, I have a PHD in literature and am a classical musician. I work in publishing and academia.

That said, I still enjoy pop music, sometimes something can just be enjoyable and it’s not that deep.

Criticising Taylor Swift is low hanging fruit for a lit major who claims to be allied with as many causes as yourself. Or, if you do decide to continue with it, I hope you do it in a more articulated manner that focuses more on the quality of your arguments, and not just an assumption that those who oppose you are stupid or “bland” when I suspect the truth is much more complex than that, as it always is.

Best of luck with further studies. I hope to see more diverse content from you in the future, maybe some literary analysis of contemporary texts, or other artists who you deem intellectual enough to enjoy, or some recommendations.

Honestly- I do not know with which tone I should address this anon. I cannot tell if you are being hostile- but I certainly feel that you are being condescending.  

Thanks for at least direct quoting my words with which you draw issue. I appreciate it- some people send me critiques but fail to outline which of my posts is the problem.  

I can capitulate to exactly one of your points- and admit it is a good point- that I am overly sassy on occasion. The post you are angry about is just me chitchatting with someone about Swift’s live shows- it wasn’t a literary analysis. I cannot do an academic analysis of her live shows- but that does not mean I don’t have an opinion of them.  

Again- it was opinion not argument or analysis. Not a serious post. This is not a blog where I am going to speak like an academic all of the time. I’m here to have a little fun- and try to remind myself why I actually do love what I do for a living.

Generally speaking- I will try to make a more obvious, clear difference between what is just an opinion and what is a researched, literary argument on Taylor Swift in my future posting. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.  

There are some other things about your ask that I want to address, because it struck me as a bit unnecessary.  

You say that I’m “coming across as a pretentious undergraduate who read a few required and recommended readings from the syllabus and now sips their tea with a pinkie protruding” (para. 1). This is condescending. No, I did not simply “read a few required and recommended readings” to complete my education. You say you’ve got a PHd in the same discipline- and yet you want to tell me all I did for my degree was read a couple of books? You should know the kind of intellectual work that goes into real literary study. I am trying to show people with this blog, at least in some small way, that while literary study is not so straightforwardly quantifiably valuable like, for instance, physics- it is still a real discipline. With real requirements on argumentation and logic. It takes intellectual skill to wrestle with concepts in literary theory – but more so to apply them in synthesis and interpretation of textual evidence.   

SO, why are you essentially patting my head and saying ���aw-cute she read some books and now thinks she’s smart?”   

To be clear- I am not in undergrad. I have finished two different degrees and am currently working on my third.

Why would you accuse me of classism and elitism predicated solely on a bad joke in a post wherein I am not even doing any real literary analysis? What prompted that? I made no effort to even pretend the post in question was little more than opinion- my real posts however, about literary analysis, I take great pains to research and edit those together with care.  

Also, “Americanized” what? Are you American? Because people ‘round here don’t care about what level of education you’ve got? The access to education varies remarkably state to state- and down into Latin American too- and we all know it. So, there is very much a culture of “help each other out when struggling” and not a culture of thinking that everyone of Earth needs to go through American University in order to matter. What are you talking about? Do you think American’s hold the monopoly on having Dogmatic views or “my way or the highway” thinking? That’s obviously not true- so what are you trying to say here?  

Did you miss the part of my Bio where I talk about being a teacher? I am a teacher in one of the poorest- most unfunded places in the country. My friend- I am repulsed by the idea of classism- I take my position in my community very seriously. Knowledge is not a stick with which I attempt to beat others down- Please understand that.  

Next, you say it is possible to critique without insulting people’s intelligence (para. 2). um, I did not insult anyone’s intelligence? I said their taste in music was bland, which does not correlate to an assumption on their intelligence. Um- I have also said many times that I like simple pop- music. Am I calling myself stupid because I’ve been listening to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter on repeat? NOpe. It’s just a silly little song- and dancing to it makes me feel cute, young and free- but it’s still a bland song with no literary or moral value. What exactly is the problem here?  

Okay, within this same point you draw issue with my use of the word average, saying that “average people, as a term...is quite elitist and classist” (para.3). Okay, you misinterpreted my use of the word “average” here- as I was not referring to people as “average” because they have no education, or a different education compared to my own. I was only using the term in the most colloquial sense- meaning “in general” or “on average” as in the median percentage of people have no musical background- therefore they find simplistic pop music the easiest to digest and the simplest thing to play in the background or sing to on car trips. It’s pleasing to the ear because we don’t have too much “work” into understanding it- that's what I mean when I say it’s bland. 

If oatmeal was a type of music- it would be pop music. bland filler- but you know it can still be good.   

Okay, let’s talk about your final point “Taylor Swift is Low Hanging Fruit” (para. Whatever I can’t be bothered to count). Ummm? A billionaire musician who has massive worldwide acclaim and social impact is “low-hanging” to you? I mean yeah- she's clearly not worth study through the lens of poetical semiotics, or God forbid- Linguistic Morphology; however, there are several different ways a good analysis of her work could function- through feminist, Marxists, Post-colonialist, or anything under the umbrella of cultural studies. I also intend to do a rhetorical analysis on her use of “lower class” aesthetics and how that attracts the audience she wants. And, I’ve done a couple of syntactical analyses. However, I had to prop those up with a dichotomization of her work to someone with more impressive literary value, like Kendrick Lamar, because her work alone is not strong enough for that type of analysis.  

Apologies if I have written a return, you did not expect or want- perhaps, I should be less sensitive on the internet. I do often brush off people's condescension, especially when I notice that they are extremely young or just do not know anything at all about my field of study. Because why worry about uninformed opinions? I wanted to speak with you, however, because you do care. It is obvious, and I am glad that people do care. I admire you for caring about the integrity of the discipline- but I really wasn’t doing what you thought I was doing.  

 I admire anyone who also studies Literature, and you say you’re a classical musician, I think that’s so impressive! I love classical music! Rachmaninoff makes me feel insane! I love it! You know that one O’Hara poem? The one that is an ode to Rachmaninoff’s birthday that ends “you’ll never be mentally sober” because I feel that line in my bones. And don’t even get me started on Tchaikovsky- Truly, you might never hear the end of it. (CAnnoNS!!!!??? what a guy)

 I just wanted to clear up anything that you found offensive- but I also defended myself because you do know what I’m talking about when it comes to literary study- and so the conversation took priority over the other meaningless “hate” messages I get. And- boy howdy- I've been getting hate messages pretty much daily. 

Promise to no longer be condescending to me and I think we ought to be friends and not fight- let me start- what did you concentrate on for your PHd? 

 I, myself, focus on post-colonialism, feminist theory, and post-modernist thought in American Literature. I work mainly within US Multi-ethnic literature, though, outside of school, I have an intense fascination with medieval or ancient Literature- primarily, these days, classical Sanskrit poetry. Last year it was an obsession with old Norse literature- lol I like to switch things up. Have you ever read the Heliand? It’s about Viking Jesus- so cool and written in old Saxon! But, anyway, I think the unique prosody of Sanskrit is so neat-o. My other obsession is this one old french poem called "le roman de silence" what a crazy little gender-bending 13th century thing that is (haha). And this doesn't even get into my philosophical preoccupations- though I believe I will discuss those on my blog, too, at some point.

Anyway- perhaps I will talk about my more niche interests on this blog- all good things in time. I have no interest in solely focusing on Taylor Swift forever- but I do want to finish saying all the things I’ve been holding back for years. I think it’s important- because Swift holds such a massive influence over people. It’s healthy, as you said, to critique people like that.  

Okay- Sorry I talked soo long. Peace Out :)

[mycolorscheme]

tw suicide i guess but it's from a research viewpoint mainly and also abuse within the nest. also this connects to the sunshine court bear with me

i wrote this whole essay a year ago on suicide clusters in schools and it was focused on high schoolers but a lot of my research came from adolescents as a whole and some of my sources were about college students and i learned a lot about how different factors can create suicidal behavior such as academic pressure, athletic pressure, etc and the combination of many factors only exacerbates this which is all pretty self explanatory but suicide clusters is the phenomenon of when a couple suicides leads to a domino effect of suicides and suicidal attempts. a mainstream pop culture example would be heathers (except the initial suicides were murder coverups) but on a more local scale this happens at a lot of schools and my high school was an example of it. part of why this happens is because it is (unfortunately) common for people to have suicidal ideation and tendencies, but once someone around these people commits suicide, it begins to feel like more of a tangible reality. in addition, being in an environment where even one suicides or death has occurred can often be very depressing and soul crushing and horrible and decrease people's mental states further.

as someone who did all this research and wrote a 10 page paper on this stuff, reading the sunshine court was incredibly interesting. these ravens are ultimately so traumatized and brainwashed beyond belief. they do not realize that they have been indoctrinated and have been part of a cult and they spent so long without being able to talk to anyone who could tell them how messed up the nest is.

like. they were not able to communicate with their families from the day they entered the nest. they were living on 18 hour schedules. they did not leave the nest unless necessary or interact with people outside of their team or ever really seen sunlight. that is beyond absolutely insane.

and their king, riko, kills himself (ironically also in a murder coverup, bringing it back to heathers). and then they are sent home to people they haven't talked to in years. and they don't know how to adjust back to normal life.

so of course they are lashing out. and it does not surprise me that they are trying to end their lives.

and then another one of their teammates kills themselves. and then another one. and then another one tries but is found before it is too late. and it creates this chain of suicides because what do they have to live for if not their team. they are a raven though and through, and even after they graduate and leave the nest, they never really leave. so they all get placed in suicide watch.

and then they are called back for the next season. and that is the worst thing that could possibly have happened to them in terms of their mental health. to make matters worse, they have a new coach who i cannot imagine they will instantly trust. and at the same time, their old coach that they were probably so frightened of but felt like they needed is nowhere to be found. and to add on, the entire power structure of the ravens has been dismantled, and they will all fight to be at the top.

and yes a lot of them are horrible people but a lot of it is a byproduct of the environment they were forced to survive in. some were already violent while others turned to violence when it became needed. they need time to heal and to process and to come to terms with the fact that what they endured was not normal. that playing a sport at a collegiate level, even for the chance to go pro, should not mean completely devoting your entire life to the sport and nothing but the sport. that it is crucial for their mental wellbeing to experience life and relax and have fun and eat junk food every once in a while.

and while i'm so glad jean is out of there and is able to start healing, my heart goes out to the ravens who are still stuck in the nest. because yes, they have the choice to leave, but they do not have the mental capacity to even realize that that is an option.

but i hope in the next book we see them slowly start to break. that the summer they had returning to normalcy alerted something inside of them deep down that what the nest is and how the ravens operate is so fundamentally wrong and so, so messed up. and i hope that the new coach isn't a bastard. but i don't have high hopes about that. to be completely frank.

all in all, the phenomenon of suicide clusters is a big issue, and i hope that at least one person found it interesting to read about the sunshine court and the ravens through the lens of suicide clusters. if you ever need mental support, there are more resources now than ever. your life is worth so much more than you could ever even comprehend. every little dot on this planet makes a difference. i love you all.

[icantspellthings]

Mirrorverse AU but like it's the Mirrorverse within an AU as in they're in the Terran empire, but they're not on the Enterprise.

Coffee shop AU where Spock puts poison in one of his adversarys coffee cup but Kirk the cute guy he has a crush on cidentally takes it instead. Spock will now have to either stop him from drinking the coffee or sneakily slip him the antidote, it's a meet cute(ugly) and someone does get poisoned.

Rival Academics AU, Spock is a renowned research scientist for the Terran Empire, McCoy perfected the Agony booth and various other tortured devices for the Empire. They have a one-sided rivalry because Spock keeps making improvements or writing critiques on McCoy papers. Spock thinks they're flirting in his Vulcan way because scientific debate and collaboration is how they flirt (see, he's improving on McCoys design! McCoy also used his advice on the next prototype, he also writes Spock highly emotional correspondent on a regualr basis, clearly they're in Lov- I mean in Logic) McCoy gets increasingly pissed off at every new paper Spock published. Until one day, they finally meet in person, and then (Sexual) tension explodes, McCoy stabs him with a poison hypo.

Idk it's just very fun to imagine, it's like cute AU but they're evil actually.

More AUs below

Academy AU where Bones and Jim met for the first time because Jim "accidentally" stabbed his roommate, and Bones gets assigned as Jims new roommate. Nobody messes with the Med track students because they know that medical officers can kill you in all sort of horrible new ways you can't even imagine. Bones likes Jim, so he's always helping Jim cover up his "accidents." Jim thinks that the doctor is an opportunist trying to curry favour from a future starship captain.

Flowershop/Tattoo Artist AU Spock owns a Flowershop, and Kirk owns the tattoo shop next to his. Spock is extremely annoyed by all the loud noises from the tattoo parlour and Kirks insecant flirting. So he hacks Kirks' medical files and starts sending over plants and foods that Kirk is deathly allergic to in hopes he will die. Kirk thinks Spock is flirting back, so he smells the flowers and stabs himself with an EpiPen. Misunderstanding ensues, many dead, many more experienced second-hand embarrassment.

Doctor and Patients AU Bones is an ER doctor on rotation that night. Spock and Kirk comes in all fucked up and bleeding, scratch marks, stab wounds etc. Bones fix them up and ask what the hell happened, but they're too embarrassed to tell him it was a sex thing, so Bones assumes it's typical terran empire stuff (murder and sabotage). Spock and Kirk become frequent visitor to the ER because they're enamoured by Bones, who is oddly gentle for an Imperial doctor. Hijinks happen that lands Kirk in the hospital for a long stay, and Bones offers to poison the people hurting Spock and Jim. They fall in love as Jim slowly recovers from the attempted mutiny. Angst and confusion as Bones is torn between Spock and Jim, not knowing they BOTH want him.

[dinoshimaaa]

had a little brainrot about something. you know how in the interdarshan competition event happening later in the update, wanderer will most likely be representing the vahumana darshan which specialises in history and social sciences? makes me think…

hear me out, history major!kuni who doesn’t really have a lot of friends and sits by himself in the lecture hall, but nevertheless gets good grades for all his assignments.

history major!kuni who just shrugs when you ask for his secrets on how to score in quizzes and assignments and probably just goes “just study it’s not that hard”.

history major!kuni who acts nonchalant about his major but is secretly a huge history geek.

history major!kuni who, upon seeing some online user misunderstand the history of a certain time period in inazuma, is quick to berate them by typing out a 5 page long essay as to why the user is invalid and therefore he should cease to exist, under the reddit username u/TheBalladeer6.

history major!kuni who studies alone in cafes and libraries, so no one ever notices the subtle sparkle in his eyes whenever he does research on a certain historical era he’s particularly interested in.

history major!kuni who is secretly (would never admit it to anyone) very passionate about history and its people’s impact on today.

history major!kuni who flawlessly recited the entire history of tatarasuna in detail while drunk on firewater. (thank you, ajax.)

history major!kuni who buys little keychains and enamel pins of historically significant places, some of which are souvenirs he bought overseas.

history major!kuni who travels overseas not to sightsee or to eat local food, but to read up on the history of the places he visits, sometimes coming back with a whole ass completed report that no one asked him to do.

history major!kuni whose mother is the ceo of a famous fashion brand, and occasionally requests for her son’s help in modelling for her company. (kuni adrien agreste era?)

history major!kuni whose mother, raiden ei, does not want him to follow strictly in her footsteps and wishes for him to choose his own path, but he misunderstands this as her neglecting him throughout his childhood.

history major!kuni who has many private consultations with professor nahida, the peculiar child-looking professor who hides an astounding amount of wisdom behind her big doe eyes.

history major!kuni who doesn’t even need professor nahida’s help in academics, and only spends time with her because of her comforting presence (again, would never admit this to anyone).

history major!kuni who, when comfortable with someone, would talk their ear off about a random history topic unprompted. any time, any day.

history major!kuni who only shrugs it off if you compliment “oh wow, you’re so good at history!” but goes stunned in admiration when you add on to his history ramblings.

history major!kuni who drags friends and close ones to museum outings together, but is slick about it so you don’t make fun of his geekery.

“hey, some rando asked me out on sunday and i don’t want to ruin my image by rejecting her upfront, so go to the museum with me sunday morning so i can tell her i’m busy.” “sure, kuni, sure… definitely not because you wanted to see the new exhibit on fontaine’s olden technology, no?” “pfft, what? of course not.”

history major!kuni who can go into heavy detail, and will, in a history topic if you expressed curiosity in it.

history major!kuni who only lends his history notes to close friends and people he thinks are passionate about history enough and hence deserve to see his (totally not) high quality, organised, 37-hour-long-preparation notes.

history major!kuni who thinks of travelling around the world (he has the money) or being a museum curator after he graduates.

[doomspiral]

hi first anon who asked abt historical pru posts and how much i love them i almost forgot to ask this. as someone who wants to start reading historical nonfiction books for fun, what would u recommend/what are some of ur favourites? and what resources do u use to find books to read? im not particular abt whether theyre considered beginner reads and stuff i just want to start a reading list. and if any of ur mutuals who like reading historical nonfiction have any recs id love them too!! thank u sm doom

Quick rundown is that you should keep in mind that this is research for writing fiction, and not research for academic writing or argument. The rules are different!

That said, when you get a source you should interrogate it while reading on what the bias is of the writer (where they're from, societal status, the tilt they put on their work because of their opinions, the time period, etc) and then afterward decide if they did a good job at what they set out to do (this is found in the forward or opening paragraphs of the work). A work that does not have any place to list their sources in some way is for entertainment only, and not to be used as any form of research, fiction writing or otherwise.

Places you can get these books is the internet archive, ebay, thriftbooks, abe books, local bookstores, used bookstores (if you can find a university or library that has one of these, you win), the library itself, or if all else fails you can go to a new book store.

Here are some of my suggestions:

The Reconstruction of Nations - Timothy Snyder Male Fantasies (volumes 1 and 2) - Klaus Theweleit Iron Kingdom - Christopher Clark Red Famine - Anne Applebaum The GDR - Jens Schöne

These aren't the only books I personally use, but they make for a good place to start :)

[mercurygray]

Literally don't know if it's my lack of self confidence or anxiety that's giving me intrusive thoughts. I've always wanted to write for BoB but never did. It wasn't ever an issue or anything I just kind of enjoyed the fandom from afar. Since seeing Masters of the Air trailer I've been inspired but underwhelmed by self doubt. I want to make OCs and participate in this fandom when the show airs but feel I will be mocked or critiqued if I don't research the history of the period or get something wrong. I'm not academic. I'm just about the blorbos. But the BoB fandom strikes me as hugely intellectual and the fic is always immaculate and we'll researched even stuff that is made up is feasible because of the research. I feel masters of the air is gonna follow the same pattern and I feel intimidated. I'm stopping before I'm starting. I don't want to enjoy the fandom from afar but I don't want to put the legwork in to make a fic historically accurate. But I don't want people jumping on me for being so ignorant. I don't even know what or where I can get face claims from that era to use. I guess this is a cry for help

Kind Anonymous Friend, you come sit over here by me and let's talk.

First, let's start with one thing - there's no right or wrong way to be in a fandom. Fandoms need readers and observers just as much as they need writers, and just by you being here, and being willing to listen and talk, you are valuable, and you are part of the community. Please do not underestimate that.

Second, that's great that you're feeling inspired! That should be celebrated and held close! Even if you do nothing with that idea, if nothing comes from it, that's still valuable too.

I was like you once; I watched Band of Brothers and I didn't come back to write anything for it for nine years, because just like you I was really intimidated.

Every writer likes something different, and does this work for different reasons. The research part is fun for me, so I do a lot of it. (It's me! I am part of the problem!) I know of plenty of authors who care much more about the emotional feel of the thing and couldn't care less about historical facts. You have to figure out what makes sense for you - and it sounds like you already have. Knowing yourself, and your reason for being here, is a great thing. Hold on to that. That's important.

On the flip side of this, every reader likes something different. I'm sure there are some people who think my approach is total bunk - and that's okay!! And I know that there are people who really don't care for the original character approach; thankfully some of those people are still on speaking terms with me even if they don't necessarily like what I do. Not everyone is going to read everything - what matters is that your people find your fic.

I think if you're open about what your process is, or why you're here, people will be more likely to appreciate what you have to offer, or know that while you're a nice person, they're unlikely to enjoy your story and give others the space to appreciate it in peace. I know that's certainly been the case with me.

I think if anxiety about sharing or being mocked is a big deal for you - and it sounds like it is - maybe sharing some of your ideas in, say, a smaller group of friends could be a good idea. And nothing says you have to be public with your ideas at all. Maybe they're just for you. That's okay, too.

And to your last point regarding face claims - there is no right or wrong way to make an OC. I personally think faceclaims are overrated. Most of my characters don't have them.

I hope this helps. I'm giving you a reassuring back-rub and wishing you good luck -and if you need to DM someone, you know where to find me. I believe in you.

[emotionally-charged-arson]

Character Spotlight: The Chemist (Ayreon's The Source)

Ask and ye shall receive.

In the grand scheme of countless intertwining Ayreon headcanons infesting my brain, I like to have a nice, compact theme to refer back to for each album. Arjen is borderline intentional about not putting themes in his work, but they creep in anyway and you can dig them up and work off of them with a little elbow grease.

For me, The Source is about loss of purpose, which is sort of an overarching theme of the Forever saga anyway, but it shows up on a more intimate level in this album. Especially when you pull traits for characters out of thin air when you're 14 and eventually find a red thread through the lot of them you didn't actually plan for.

I did a really general overview of most of my versions of the Source cast and their whole deal while they're on Alpha. Just a whole mess of science, religion and state all crammed into one, eventually leading to the 'Frame taking over. In some way or another, these people all know each other and support a cause of some sort. When they're forced to leave their home planet, they have to grapple with the fact that their lives there were altogether pointless and figure out how to embrace the sense of rebirth that's a part of the Forever package.

Almost all of their arcs follow the same overall timeline: they had some *thing* they had worked towards for the better part of their lives, it's all ripped away in an instant with Alpha's destruction, and during their time on Starblade, they work their way back up to a new sense of collective self-worth.

There are, however, a few notable outliers. The Captain, The Chemist and TH-1 still have that theme thing going for them at the end, but how they get there is a little different.

So. Chemist. Like I said, pretty much everyone in the cast has an idea of who everyone else is. Not this guy.

Thomas Giles Rogers is an organic chemist with zero personal affiliation with any other character pre-album story. He graduated from the same enormous central university most of them did, but had no interest in tying his research, much less his entire career, to the fate of the planet itself. Not that he was ever offered or cares about politics at all, but still.

His motivations lie on more personal grounds. Giles is prone to stress, nervous breakdowns in academic settings, all that fun stuff. He always has been. His doctoral dissertation and the ten years of his career following it were dedicated to the synthesization of safe alternatives to sensory deprivation drugs. Either supplemental to the process or replacing it entirely. His "big" project for most of that time was an injection meant to temporarily alter the human respiratory system, allowing someone to breathe underwater for therapeutic processes.

The endeavor was a total failure, for all the resources put into it. Giles is forced to abandon the project after years of constantly being denied grants to pursue its production. People not prioritizing what he wants to use it for, his ineffective presentation, him refusing to let people hire him for research to weaponize it, whatever. All that work was for nothing and it takes genuine a toll on him.

It's really just a career slump, but his self-worth is so firmly attached to his perceived academic success that he can't cope. Four years before TDTTWBD, he drops all his research, picks up some entry-level lab tech job and just goes through the motions. No grandiose motivation to save the world like the rest of these yahoos, just surviving.

But anyhow. Russell does his thing, the 'Frame takes over, and one way or another everyone except Giles is crowded in Nils' basement accepting their fate and hopelessly looking for livable planets with no power or digital resources.

Gross oversimplification of Chronicle I, by the way. Russell drags a broken android into the place, Floor shoots Simone's ear off, etc.

The only remotely plausible option is Y, pretty grim given that the surface is uninhabitable and colonization could only occur if everyone somehow grew gills. As Hansi laments when a switch goes off in his brain and he remembers some science expo he went to a few years back, where some guy was presenting prototypes for...pretty much exactly that.

By pure coincidence, Giles is one of Simone's clients, signed onto her private practice she started after quitting her job as the previous president's counselor. She knows where he lives and works, and she and Tommy manage to track him down amidst the literal apocalypse outside (on account of Tommy having no scientific background and pretty much no other use to the group than scavenging for essentials on the surface in this part. Bonus points that he knows how to use a gun and supposedly doesn't care about his own death).

Giles, like a lot of people has basically been hunkered down in his apartment since the 'Frame took power (about three weeks) and is all paranoid and starving when they find him but they find him, take him back and convince him to pick his work back up all the same.

So he's part of the group now, and alternative to everyone else on Starblade who has no point to their lives now, Giles has FAR too much of a point. Using years old notes and limited resources, he has to create the greatest scientific advancement in the history of mankind in the maybe....six months that people onboard are able to live outside of suspended animation. The total extinction of the human race to follow if he fails.

This...does not mix well with

1. his whole self-induced, major-accomplishment based pressure thing since it's a wildly amplified version of it

2. The fact that he killed a woman during Run! Apocalypse! Run! (defending another character but still) and his control to give life and take it away over so many people, existing and prospective, constantly rotating in his brain

3. The more upbeat, hopeful characters unwittingly holding their expectations for their brave new world over him and what Liquid Eternity needs to be to satisfy them

4. Pretty much everyone else involved in the political side of things deliberately ceased contact with friends or family outside the party's inner circle, to prevent distractions or the possibility of blackmail, while they were still on Alpha. That devaluing of personal relationships is what they're conditioned to and this is more the focal point of Tommy, Floor and Tobias' sort of...joint character development situation, but it has an effect on Giles. This much more openly sensitive, emotional guy is surrounded by these jaded assholes who have no sense of the pressure he's feeling in more ways than one. This effect also applies to James (Historian) in a way, and the two actually kind of have a rapport going about it at the end of Chronicle II (syncing up with their little Condemned To Live duet), but the only person who seems to fully get what's happening to Giles is Simone, someone who deliberately separated herself from said jaded political asshole clique and who has prior knowledge of his experiences on account of literally being his therapist.

All in all just. Not having a good time, insisting that he has to do this alone and eventually external assistance from one or more characters being the only thing that solves it.

The other part of this compact theme thing is that our purpose, our humanity, is defined by our relationships and reliance on other people. We need something to strive for in order to feel like a person, and ultimately that 'something' comes down to either the preservation of the self, the other, or of the collective.

Once you resolve that, there is one other thing that defines the human experience and that is death.

Death and a point, a person, to avoid it in the name of. And Liquid Eternity took both of those things away. From there arises stagnation and a lack of purpose with no means of escape, the hallmark of the Forever Race.

-

-

-

(gosh, I wonder if that ties into members of the party forcing away loved ones in the name of their progress even though it was pointless in the end. Or TH-1's self-preservation being their downfall after all the talk of cooperation and acceptance of emotional openness. Who's to say.)

[eponymous-rose]

I found it super useful to do this in a previous year, so here's all the stuff I've got going on for the next three-month quarter. Hope this is interesting to anyone thinking of going the academic route or just curious about what their professor does all day when they're not teaching!

Context: I'm a fifth-year assistant professor (tenure-track) at an R1 public university in a science field.

I'm just teaching the one class this quarter! It's a class I created myself and have taught on four previous occasions, so I have a lot of really great materials available to me. Its enrollment has also quadrupled since the first time I taught it. Womp-womp. Designing and giving lectures 3x/week, creating new assignments 1x/week (carefully ChatGPT-proofed when they're not integrating critical assessments of ChatGPT), writing two take-home midterms, grading all of the above, and, of course, innovating on the course. Trying out some fun new activities to replace the individual projects that have become unwieldy with this number of students. And, inevitably, the scheduled and unscheduled office hours.

I'm primary advisor for a great new grad student, but, in all the federal government's deadline-y wisdom, the grant proposal I was going to use to fund his research fell through. While we scramble to re-submit, the department has given me 9 months of funding, but that also means this student is going up for some highly competitive graduate fellowships to help fill the financial void. Lots of working with him to craft his very first proposal while we talk the undergrad to grad transition, classes, and These Winters Oh You Know (he's from the PNW, he's all set). His actual research is a little on hold for now, but we'll be doing some very cool stuff collaborating with a friend at another university as well as someone at a federal agency that I'm gonna sweet-talk into inviting us down for some in-person work in May. We meet for an hour every week.

As part of that, I'm meeting weekly with my co-PI on that failed proposal to craft a resubmission (we got very positive reviews, just didn't make the funding cutoff). It's a process!

My other active grad student is getting to the end of his PhD already! He just wrapped up two internships this summer and is full of ideas and new directions, which is great, but also: now is the time to find that finish line. He has his last pre-defense exam coming up soon, and my job is to make sure he has a solid story to tell that has a well-defined ending. I'd like to see him publish another paper before finishing as well, and I think he'll have no problems doing so. He's on a federal research grant and also needs to discharge some responsibilities there and make sure he has a transition plan in place for whoever takes over from him. Had a friend at another institution reach out expressing an interest in hiring him for a postdoc, and he's interested, so also going to try to get him a visit down there. We meet for an hour every week!

Said student has also initiated a collaboration with some of his friends from school back in China to do some truly wild stuff, and honestly in this case I'm just along for the ride and to gently steer them back on-course when they start getting a bit in the weeds. We're meeting every second week, and the biggest thing I have to do here is make sure he has open access to a supercomputer to do his thing. It's cool to have reached the stage where my main responsibility is to get out of his way.

Said student also independently reached out to someone with a really cool dataset, and after a meeting carefully smoothing over that e-mail from "blasé demand for free data" to "opportunity to collaborate as a team", we've got a pretty cool project lining up. Might have to wait until after his PhD defense, though.

I have another grad student who took a job elsewhere and really, really wanted to finish his Master's remotely, which is all well and good, but honestly, doing that while trying to start a new job is soul-crushingly difficult. Our department has recently created an option to get a Master's without writing a thesis, so I need to follow up on that and get him this Master's degree.

A former student has reached out about converting his Master's thesis to a journal article, and that'll be a long process, but sure? Maybe? We'll figure it out.

A colleague and I have decided to create a research project for an undergrad who reached out to us looking for opportunities to get more credits. We're still not 100% sure where we're going with this, and a lot will depend on her programming skills, but she's only a sophomore and so we'll ideally have several years to work together on this research. We meet once a week.

Said colleague and I are also working on blending our research groups a bit (mainly because it's awkward to have 3-person "group meetings"), and as part of that we're trying to find a time to have both groups do biweekly coffee-shop meetings where we discuss a cool paper in the field.

I'm participating in a weather forecasting competition that involves writing a forecast 4 days a week, occasionally sending out reminder e-mails, meeting weekly, and probably giving a briefing at some point.

Traveling in October to give an invited seminar at a very big-name university in my field. This has been happening more and more lately (I've now given invited seminars/keynotes in four different countries, to say nothing of the conference talks elsewhere) and I have a pretty solid template for a one-hour talk, but this is a group of people who specialize in my area of research, so I've gotta step up my game there. I'll also be meeting with folks there for a day and will have to figure out what to do with my course while I'm gone.

One other bit of out-of-state travel in October is to attend a meeting of a national group I'm a part of - they've thrown in an early-career workshop, and the whole thing is being paid for, so I'll be there for one extra day learning me a thing. Excited that my grad school officemate will be there!

Final travel this quarter will be during the final exam week, when I go to a giant conference in my field along with my nearly-finished PhD student - we'll both be giving talks there, and since it isn't my usual professional organization hosting it, I get to avoid all of my usual wave of volunteer responsibilities. Phew.

This isn't happening until January, but I was invited to speak at the biggest student conference in my field, and while I can't travel there, they've set up an opportunity for me to do it virtually - I need to get my materials to them by November, I think.

I'm still on the editorial board for three different academic journals, which comes with a fair number of reviews (often "tiebreakers" when the other peer reviewers are in disagreement) every month. Genuinely really enjoy it, because otherwise when the heck am I gonna find time to deep-read any new papers in my field? Also writing reviews for federal funding agency grants now, which is a longer process but also very interesting and helpful.

I'm coordinating the charitable fundraising among the faculty in my department this year - I have a meeting coming up with the head honcho at the university level about what charity drives we'll be doing in the run-up to the holiday season and then I think I just mostly forward e-mails? This is a new position for me.

I'm one of four faculty (plus a grad student) on a new hire search committee for a tenure-track faculty member. It's been interesting thus far, but due to some financial tapdancing going on at the moment, we may delay the hire by a year. Our department typically gets 100+ highly qualified applications for each position (which is wild, we're not huge and have like 21 faculty total), so that's a huge time sink once the ball gets rolling on it. We did put together the ad we were going to send out.

I extended my term on the college's scholarship committee, which generally involves a couple meetings a year of giving out extra money to students. Good stuff, especially since we received a gift at the college level recently that means nearly everyone who applies gets something.

I'm working on a research project I got funded through a small internal grant - it's been weird to have a research project that's just me doing coding and writing. I really need to block out some protected time for that! It's a fun project and I think I budgeted for two publications. We'll see how it turns out!

A while ago, I was approached by a truly giant scientific journal to write a review article about my entire research focus. I brought on three colleagues who had written similar reviews in the past, got our proposal approved, and promptly had multiple freakouts trying to get a full draft written. Recently got most of that draft completed and sent it to the editor, who had AMAZING and detailed feedback. This is the kind of article where we have an art team at our beck and call to create graphics for us. We really want to do this right.

I got pulled into a research thing with a national lab a while ago and keep forgetting about it - my role appears to be mostly done, and now I mostly just occasionally get random e-mails with dire security clearance warnings that amount to "I wrote this whitepaper report, can you confirm I properly represented your contribution?" It would be lovely if a publication came out of this, it's fun work (not military), but who knows.

A colleague and I are waiting to hear back on a really, really cool grant proposal we submitted a couple months ago. We probably still have 6 months before we hear anything, but man, I think about it every day. It would be so neat and the program manager agreed that it was an awesome idea, but of course now we're in the reviewers' hands. We might do some preliminary work in anticipation of possibly having to resubmit next year.

Speaking of grant proposals, I need to at least put a draft together for a new project. As my grad students graduate, I need funding to bring new ones on! This is also the one thing my department chair has suggested is a little weak on my CV: number of grants obtained. It's SUCH a long process, with probably 80-100 hours of work for each grant proposal written. Ugh. It is fun when it's an idea I'm excited about, at least.

I'm on the committees of about a half-dozen grad students (and am anticipating possibly hearing from one more) - my role is mostly to provide very occasional guidance on the overall research project, providing specialized knowledge the student and their primary advisor may not have, and attending all exams. I also have to keep an eye out for and help mediate any issues between the student and their advisor. That can get messy.

We have 3 weekly seminars in the department! They're very interesting and I'm mostly just glad I'm not coordinating one of the seminar series this year.

I've started getting inquiries from potential graduate students. See above re: not knowing if I'll have funding for a new student next year. Why can't we just coordinate our deadlines?

I've started working with a science advisory board for a major organization within my field, which has been interesting so far! As a more junior member, my input isn't being super actively sought yet, so I get to just learn about the processes involved and nod sagely a lot. Thankfully the two-day meeting last week was remote.

I'm on another national committee that's currently working on organizing our next big conference in late 2024. There's always a lot that goes into that (and I don't have a super high opinion of the guy running the group after he posted some crappy stuff about students on social media), but thankfully I've managed to dodge some of the bigger responsibilities.

I'm part of a very cool peer-mentoring group where I chat weekly with scientists in different-but-comparable fields about any and all of the above. It's very nice to have a bit of a place to vent!

Oh yes, and the tenure/promotion-application process kicks off this year. I have a meeting next week with my mentoring committee to see if they feel I'm ready to go up. Here goes nothing...

I think that's mostly it? It's gonna be a busy 3 months. Time to make some lists...

[emmg]

Serious Writing Can Go Eat Ass: A Memoir

As someone who professionally churns out words for the academic circle jerk—a place where people basically worship the Chicago Manual of Style—it feels like there's this massive disdain, or maybe more like unfiltered contempt, for anything resembling fun in writing. Want to spice up an article with some personality? Throw in a funny quote? Craft a clever phrase that might break the mind-numbing monotony? Well, too bad. It will be swiftly dismissed and frowned upon by "peers" who clutch their red pens like they’re about to perform a literary exorcism.

This disdain doesn’t just stop at academic writing either. Oh no, it follows you into your creative life, like a clingy ex, making you feel guilty for producing anything outside the suffocating realm of “serious” content. You want to write something a little frivolous? Maybe funny? Maybe smutty? Maybe just angsty trash? Well, you better remember that it's not "serious" writing, and thus, has no worth. Or maybe you’ll hear that professor's voice in your head, the one who scrawled passive-aggressive margin notes admonishing you for taking a single, harmless stylistic risk. And just like that, it becomes second nature to hate or feel embarrassed by whatever you produce for fun.

Don’t get me wrong, I love academia. I’ve worked as a model since my early teens, which means I’ve spent most of my life living in a constant state of disconnection—always moving, always on the outside looking in. So, I turned inward, and I read. And read. And read some more. I learned and absorbed everything I could. When I finally made it to university and discovered this obsessive, laser-focused intellectual pursuit—complete with professors who actually encouraged my hyperfixation—it was like stepping into nerd heaven. The research, the archives, the thrill of translating that one obscure quote, the victory of pestering some librarian across the country for months and finally getting access to those oral histories—it’s exhilarating. I’m addicted.

But man, does this “serious” environment suck the joy out of anything that isn’t deemed important or intellectual. It’s fantastic at making you feel ashamed for enjoying "lesser" forms of creativity.

In this essay I will—no, but seriously, let me just give you my Ted Talk on how traditional writing conventions can absolutely, 100% eat ass. Maybe quite literally. They drain all the enjoyment out of writing. I love writing, but I hate looking at what I produce because of it.

On the flip side, I absolutely love the time we’re living in. Thank God for AO3. I adore fanfiction. I love that there’s no joy-sucking overlord policing my words when I get lost in a fandom and write purely for the fun of it. That’s true freedom.

This is exactly why I'm so hardcore about the whole comments/kudos culture. I will absolutely drown anyone who graciously shares their work with the world in praise. Why? Because I freaking love what they create, and I refuse to let anyone feel the way I do—like their creativity doesn’t matter. So yes, thank you, bless you, saint you, for sharing your fanfiction. I will devour every word, and then I’ll devour you, dear author, in an avalanche of gratitude. Keep writing, or I swear, I'll find you and flood your inbox with even more love.

I really wish my professional life hadn’t done such an impressive job of absolutely wrecking my self-esteem when it comes to personal writing. I don’t even give a second glance at what I toss out into the world anymore. Just yeet it into the depths of AO3 and forget it ever existed. Notifications? Turned off. Comments? Oh, I’m far too mortified to respond—though I make a half-hearted attempt sometimes. It’s that weird feeling of being undeserving, or embarrassed, or something equally stupid.

I don’t even know if I’m alone in this feeling. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. It’s just a random slice of my thoughts. I’m 28, I shouldn’t feel like I have to hate my creative side for not being “serious.” I’m too young to be this bitter about what I create. Not that there’s an age limit on this kind of existential dread. Anyway, thanks for coming to my impromptu mental breakdown. Peace.

[meirimerens]

"great discussion"? dude you just went off on someone who was simply sharing their enthusiasm about the kin and the game. you didn't need to go all redditor-debate-king on their ass and act like your response is a peer-reviewed academic paper. you took his response to your friends, tore it apart, and then came back to tumblr to act self-righteous about it.

oh you're so silly aren't you! when i said "great discussion", i meant it. heartily, fully, like i would have told a friend after a debate in philosophy class. i like that we're able to discuss these things. and i'm glad this reblogger came to me with their opinions, because it was (as far as i can recall) the first time someone brought up the Kin being any way a "careful" depiction of real-life cultures. i've repeated many manyyyyy maaaany ways in my reply that it is far from what i've heard from most people, from most indigenous people in this fandom. the fact that tone does not carry through internet back and forth is not my problem. and the fact that you are reading haughtiness or self-righteousness in it where it is not, is yours.

i took the reply to my group chat because there are central-asian indigenous people in this damn chat, who i assumed would know more + have other opinions that the replier, because. you know. the Kin is inspired by their peoples. and i wanted their opinion on it, because, you know. not mine.

you are assuming i'm taking issue with someone's appreciation of the Kin. i am not. i appreciate the Kin. i love the Kin. I love the Herb Brides, goddess bless. I always want people to love them, to be kinder to them. this is one of the reasons i reiterate myself that the main opinion that i've seen around the Kin is that it is mishandled. and i reiterate this because i (and many other people) want to recognize how the kin is mishandled. pretending that "oh you're just mad at someone being appreciative of the kin" was my take is bad-faith. you can be appreciative of the kin and recognize its mistreatment. you will have to. going "pointing out the racism in the narrative that has been multiple times talked about by the people it directly impacts is ruining people's fun actually :(" is a braindead take. just dust between those two ears my love.

i don't go on reddit for my own sanity. i didn't "act like [my] response is a peer-reviewed academic paper", it was the ramblings of someone who does research about things out of autistic fun and the tldr of multiple discussions i've had in this group chat, formatted like shit, no sources just vibes, and i've never claimed it to be anything else! i assume that when all you do is be on reddit, every lengthy person reads like a redditor.. i hope you're not taking Humanities in college.

you are making up imaginary things about me that straight up don't exist in the source material (or my own words) to be mad about, misconstructing my internet ramblings for something they are not, and applying bad-faith readings to my group chat's discussions because you don't like being told dissident opinions. i loved reading the replier's take, and am glad people are digging deeper into the cultures they're inspired by. Your bad-faith reading of what is ultimately Me Blogging and Being Lengthy Because I Read Shit For Fun (like a NERD! like some kind of... NERD!!) and out of autistic hyperfixating makes me believe you would be torn to shreds in any academic context worth their salt, even though my blog is not one. you shall be turned into dust!

[utilitycaster]

you NAILED it when you said a lot of indie ttrpgs are "rigid when i need openness and open where i need structure" like there is an art (and science) to deciding which mechanics fit the tone and intent of a game (and, frankly, and art/science to which mechanics even allow for fun) and I feel like that often gets glossed over in indie spaces.

Thanks! As a caveat, I am someone who primarily plays D&D, and a lot of my indie game knowledge beyond one-pagers is purely academic: it comes from a combination of watching actual play that uses different systems; discussions with friends who play different systems; and for lack of a better term informal research (following game designers, reading rule books).

This also means, frankly, that my primary experience with indie spaces (rather than games) has been through their absolute dregs: the specific sort of person who lurks in social media spaces searching for people mentioning either the games they Don't Like in a positive manner or the games they Do Like in a negative one, and then getting smarmy in the comments before the OP beats them with a spiked bat and blocks them and then they go off and make 2003 Nerd Media Forum Man comments of "oh...if only they would listen to my Logic and see the Truth" on their own blogs.

Most of the indie discourse has absolutely nothing to do with game mechanics, let alone setting or tone of the game, even though those are all crucial. People say the words "player agency" a lot but they don't actually mean it, since I guarantee if their players all unionized and said "hey instead of Crispy Dino Tender Knights, the d12 system for which your old roommate ran a successful Kickstarter campaign, could we play D&D?" they would tell those players to fuck off. Most of it is part of the general culture of identity through consumption, in which, in this space, you are not best described as a person who loves or plays horror or adventure or high fantasy (what you like and do) or even as someone with an interest in specific mechanics (a d20 system, a dice pool system, games based on tarot/oracle/playing cards, drawing/journaling games, GM-less games) but rather simply as someone who follows the arbitrarily correct companies. This is why Paizo (established in 2009; at one point was publishing the most popular TTRPG in the world; documented history of underpayment of artists and mistreatment of employees) is inexplicably treated, in many of these spaces, as more of an indie darling than Darrington Press.

(Sidebar: I think it's valid to not purchase from companies with values you find problematic and my point in bringing up Paizo is to point out that it's the second-largest name in the space and far from innocent, as well as to note that Hasbro has done some unbelievably awful stuff as of late. My problem is that indie spaces seem to overwhelmingly treat the two very separate and independently potentially true statements of "I don't like this company's practices, either for valid reasons of exploitative capitalism or for various personal gripes" and "the game system put out by this company is thoughtful, well-designed, and fits many people's needs, even if it does not fit mine" as entirely dependent on each other.)

A much shorter way to put it is how a number of smart people in the space have put it: when you ask for game recs and provide clear guidance on what you're interested in, the vast majority of people do not listen to you at all but instead bring up their favorite game even if said game is out of print, is prohibitively costly, and/or is truly unsuited for what you are intending to do. Because many, many people in the indie space, particularly the ones who engage with posts coming from those newer to it, seem to have defined themselves by their favorite game and then retroactively come up with reasons why it's the best and why everyone who plays something else, especially D&D, is stupid. This general second-banana mentality, of course, permanently cements them in that place, because they're so busy bashing everything they see as more popular that they define their favorites as games that are less popular and forget to explain why their favorites are actually good and back themselves into the corner we're seeing, in which people who champion one game will endlessly bash games that are remarkably similar and in doing so underline that this was never about gameplay or mechanics. (This is also really true in actual play spaces, and honestly a lot of nerdy media spaces.)

ANYWAY I think there absolutely should be a wide variety of games, and I even think it's good to have games with pretty strong similarities that are different enough to support different genres! I think more choice is great! But yeah, I think a lot of people who disparage specific mechanics (like a d20 system) on the whole do not actually think about what the game that uses those mechanics are trying to achieve. Again, I think PbtA as an engine does sound pretty fitting for its original use as Apocalypse World, but, not gonna lie, Monsterhearts is never going to be my thing and while I'm not sure it ever would, I think it could have been closer to my thing had the mechanics been customized to the setting more. I think games that put most of the rules onto RP segment of gameplay have a place, but it's really genre dependent! D&D does not support the same type of story as Good Society, and it's just as stupid to try to run the heroic fantasy system in the comedy of manners system as vice versa - and a lot of people do not understand that. Mechanics that make it easy to succeed (D&D) and mechanics that make it much harder (Blades in the Dark) and mechanics that ensure eventual failure (Dread, 10 Candles) all have their place, and both players and designers should be prepared to speak to their choices.

[dystopicjumpsuit]

Okay okay so, I feel like I'm betraying Kix because I already love him and Maree together BUT for the OC ship thing, could we get your thoughts on Maree x Tech? 👀👀👀 please and thank you

No need to feel disloyal @secondaryrealm! I'm not really possessive of my OCs or the canon characters I ship them with in that way. It's always fun to think of what-if scenarios, and it doesn't take anything away from my fics if people want to ship the characters with somebody else. The more, the merrier! 🫶

I think this is actually a really fun ship! Ignore the timeline issues; canon doesn't exist, and neither does time.

Smut below; MDNI.

They met when Tech read one of Maree's papers and found what he believed to be an inaccuracy. He contacted her directly and sent her a correction. She replied with her source material, which turned out to be from a classified report that was never made available to the general public. Tech sliced into the GAR records database and confirmed her claim. He didn't apologize, but he did acknowledge that she was correct, and he commended her on the thoroughness of her research. She was intrigued to find someone who was as invested in that particular area of study as she was, so she invited him to speak with her in person next time he was in the Core Worlds. He didn't reply.

Weeks later, he showed up at the library and introduced himself. He revealed that he had read everything that she had published in preparation for their meeting, which horrified her (her early work was decidedly not up to her current standards). He reassured her that he had run an analysis based on contemporary publications and found that any inaccuracies noticeable in her early-career publications were only the result of emerging research, and that they had all been as accurate as possible at the time of publication. They started discussing the incredible rate at which the field was evolving, and before they realized it, it was well after dinnertime. Maree asked Tech to join her at dinner so they could keep talking. Tech asked bluntly if her dinner invitation was intended as a romantic gesture. Maree replied, "Only if you want it to be."

Tech proposed that they defer that decision until after dinner, to which Maree readily agreed. Halfway through their appetizer round, they got into an argument about what tactics would have improved the outcomes of the second battle of Geonosis. They were still arguing about it when they stumbled into Maree's apartment, leaving a trail of clothing all the way to her bedroom.

"Ridiculous," he scoffed, dragging his teeth softly over her neck. "That would have resulted in a far less efficient victory." He gripped her breast firmly, grinding his cock against her ass as he caressed her clit with his other hand. "It would have saved countless lives--oh, Force, yes, right there--you're making an assumption based on conjecture--OH!" His breath grew ragged as he thrust into her. "Nonsense. It is an educated--kriff--prediction informed by data models developed by--kark, how are you so tight?"

4. After they became a couple, they carried out a very public flirtation in the form of blistering arguments published in academic papers. They very politely tore each other to shreds as they pointed out every tiny error and inconsistency in the other's publications. Maree had to install soundproofing in her apartment because every time one of them published a new paper, her neighbors would call in noise complaints about the volume of their amorous activities.

5. The rest of the Batch never found out why Tech suddenly developed a taste for spiced biscuits.