#as someone who dated someone for 6 years and met their/our best friend around the same time

[kuromi-hoemie]

y'know, i love reading the notes on this and watching everyone work thru their thoughts and feelings n whatnot, but you're like the one person whose tags i read and really thought Yes, you know exactly where i was coming from.

this is me

[sushis-wild-imagination]

Seventeen and first dates (all members)

More like this on Seventeen Masterlist <3 Requests are open! Genre: FLUFF

→ Choi Seungcheol

“You do look like a fish” he says.

You and cheol were walking around in an aquarium as your first official date. You both have been really close friends for a while before you decided to finally give into your feelings and see where it goes with each other.

You couldn’t be happier, cheol really was the best thing that happened to you, even friendship wise. The sweetest boy.

“Look, that looks exactly like you” he points to ansilly looking fish through the glass.

You put you lips out and pout like a fish.

“Close your eyes; you look exactly like this fish behind you,”

You giggle at that, you’ve never been told you look like a fish and that made you laugh,

“let me take a picture” he says.

You stand at the glass, with your lips out and eyes closed. After two clicks you feel someone in front of you and a pair of lips, pecking yours.

“Hey!” You were fully red. It was your first kiss with him. It was playful and so sweet. Nothing like you imagined but a 100 times cuter, innocent.

“Sue me! I stole a kiss” he says running away from you while you chase him.

“Come back here”

→Yoon Jeonghan

“You can’t eat anything if you don’t catch anything!,” jeonghan tells you while you stand at this pool like area for fishes.

You and Jeonghan confessed quite mutually to each other that you liked each other. All your friends could see it, how you would kick your feet at his messages and how he would giggle at yours. You weren’t just friends.

“You’ll let your girlfriend starve?” You ask acting offended.

He pauses for a second and scans you top to bottom.

“Yes”

You playfully smack him while the fish catching turns into a competition about who catches more fish. At the end of the night you had 6 fishes you caught, and you couldn't possibly eat 6 fishes so you gave some away to the kids who couldn’t catch any.

“If this is how we were going to catch fish, I would’ve taken you fishing instead”

“I am somewhat of a master fisherman myself”

You giggle at the reference.

→ Hong Joshua

You’ve liked joshua ever since he transfered to you school in high school. He was your bench mate and it wasn’t a long time before you fell for his charm, he was a handsome boy with such a kind heart. You still had an umbrella he gave you to use.

You met him again at a reunion after years and the group of friends planned to go to an amusement park that weekend at the reunion.

Seeing him again, after years set you off with some feelings, all unresolved.

You reached the amusement park as a group but little did you know it was a set up and suddenly you and Joshua were left alone.

You ended up touring the entire park, you realised he was the same crazy shua you knew and liked. Everything he did made you laugh.

“Here!” He says and hands you a bracelet he won shooting at balloons.

“A souvenir from our first date” he adds.

You look up at him in surprise.

“First date?”

“Unless you don’t want it to be”

“No, of course, I like that”

“Good”

‘Our first date’ rang in your head the rest of the day.

→ Moon Junhui

This was the first time you had gone over to your boyfriend, Jun's apartment. He liked decorating his apartment and interior design, his apartment was full of decorative items, you went through them all. it was fascinating how much you realise of a person just by seeing how they decorate their spaces.

Jun had called you over for a home cooked meal that he was so confident about. He was so excited to make you this Malapot that he knows he makes the best. He wanted to almost show off to you and impress you with his food.

You were excited for the food too, just listening to him talk about it made you drool when you made the plan.

"Ah it's ruined" you hear jun's voice from the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" you walk over.

"Somethings wrong, it's not tasting the way it's supposed to" he says dejected. You go over and he gives you a spoonful of broth from the pot. It was quite flavourful.

"It's good Jun, what's wrong?" you ask again.

"It's good, not great, I can do so much better" he was very disappointed. He just wanted you to enjoy his food and like his food.

"I'll eat anything you make junnie" you say hugging his side while his eyes never leave the pot in front of him.

You force him to look at you.

"There's always a next time, I'm not going anywhere"

He finally smiles.

→ Kwon Hoshi

You were cycling with your boyfriend of 1 week, hoshi. You met at a fashion show and immediately clicked. You fell for his goofy personality and felt this urge to protect him from the world.

He asked you out first and you happily agreed. Both of you had some feelings some flirtatious text messages happening between the two of you.

But today you could taste blood, he was cycling way too hard and you couldn’t catch up.

He was a little ahead of you while you volunteered to crash in the grass to relax, you would’ve died if you went on for a little longer.

You were panting while the tiger came back to you to check if you are okay.

“Cycling is too hard” you say between laboured breaths.

“You have no stamina” he smirks suggesting something completely different.

It was your chance to chase him down for that comment.

“We’ll see” you blush but also respond sassily chasing him in the grass.

→ Jeon Wonwoo

Jeon Wonwoo, your next door neighbour that had taken a liking to you, has made it routine to pick you up from office everyday, so you could go back home together.

You were still unsure about dating him and he gave you all the time in the world to come to a decision.

You wanted to surprise him today, by agreeing to date him. You had spent a lot of time together and he was a sweet guy. You were just scared of something, past relationships weren’t exactly a flower path. He understood that.

You came out of your office building, to see wonwoo, hopefully your soon to be boyfriend, waiting at his bike.

“Did you wait for too long?”

He smiles. “I’ll wait forever, if its for you”

Maybe you don’t have to wait anymore.

You take a deep breath and take his hands in yours.

“Listen, I had to talk to you about something”

His body language changes and he’s almost nervous. You fidget with his thumb, very embarrassed and shy.

“Whats wrong?” He asks getting concerned at how you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“I gave us a thought”

He visibly freezes. Like he’s preparing himself for anything thats to come.

“I like you Wonwoo, I know I’ve been scared but Im ready to get through that”

There is a glowing smile on his face. “I’ll treat you so well, I promise” his hand pats your hair. It makes you feel safe and reassured.

“So girlfriend?” He asks putting your helmet on you and buckling up for you.

Him calling you girlfriend sets your chest on fire.

“Yes, boyfriend” you squeak out, not used to this.

“Let me take you to the moon, our first date”

“I’ll go anywhere with you” you say softly, getting on his bike.

→ Lee Jihoon

Jihoon was a schoolmate first, your co worker second, he recommended you at the company you work at now. You became close with him being the only person you knew. Soon, this closeness turned into romantic feelings. You couldn’t get him out of your head.

You asked him out, you straight up told him, you like him and what he thinks about it. It was the first time you had seen him speechless. He took a minute to collect himself before he said “sure” and you started dating. Although his demeanour may seem as if he doesn’t care but you know he likes you too. There has been multiple times jihoon has gone out of his way to help you blend into your work and otherwise.

“Our first dinner in the studio” he said and it made you smile. You like when he says ‘ours’

“You never let me eat in the studio, how cone today you called me here”

His face turns red before he answers. “I thought it’ll be rude to have your girlfriend eat out while I work in the studio”

It was your turn to turn red. You mutter “cute” under your breath.

The power suddenly shuts down and the whole room goes pitch black. Jihoon steps out to see if its just his studio.

“I think something wrong with the generator on this wing” he says sitting next to you on the couch while you gobble up the food you brought for the both of you.

You hear him sigh and carefully lay his hesd on your shoulder.

“Are you tired?”

He shakes his head cuddling closer, you never took him for a cuddler but its like a cat, if a cat CHOOSES you to cuddle, you shouldn’t move. Thats exactly what you did.

You turn on the light on your phone and set it on the coffee table next to your food.

“Torch light dinner”

You hear him chuckle at that while you offer him some food almost feeding him.

You hoped the light never came back and this stayed like this forever.

→ Seo Myungho

You ran an art workshop where you met Minghao for the first time. You didn’t know what he did and who he was until you saw your pictures plastered all over the internet one day.

He was the first to say he likes you. You liked him too, he brought perspective to your life and you loved that about him.

You and him were at a library having a relaxed date but the thing is you suggested going to a library when you didn’t even read.

You look over at hao, sitting by the window completely immersed in his book, he looked gorgeous. You pick out a comic to read from the shelf. You were a bad reader, even comics bored you after a while. But since Hao liked reading you thought you can enjoy it too. You sat next to him on the couch he was at.

You flipped through the pages and almost got bored instantly.

“Trouble reading?” You hear a whisper next to you.

You look up, not being able to manage this front you put on to impress him.

This was the second time he caught you looking bored.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a reader”

“Everyone’s a reader, you just haven’t found the right book yet”

He’s so wise and calm, he brings stability to your chaos. He suggested a book you might like and he was right, you were immediately hooked to the premise and discovered that you like the thriller genre that doesn’t let you put your book down.

→ Kim Mingyu

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

You shake your head no. Kim Mingyu was a random guy you bumped into at a coffee shop you frequented at. You madecthe first move and dared to ask his number.

Turns out he was the sweetest guy you had spoken to in 4 years. He really reset your brain and suddenly you just wanted to do everything in your power to see where things go. You felt an instant connection you didn’t want to let go of and regret later. You decided you’d go for it.

Kim mingyu comes back to your car, you and him decide to watch a screening of cars 2 in a drive in theatre. You have never been to one and he was excited to show you.

As soon as he opens his package of food, the air is filled with the smell of burrito. It makes you hungry as soon as it hits your nose. But you already told him you didn’t want any, and asking for even a bite felt criminal.

But you were subconsciously staring at his food.

“You’re staring y:n” he calls you out.

You immediately snap out of it and look away, muttering a quick sorry under your breath.

You see him dig into his package and pull out another burrito wrap.

“This is for you” he hands you a wrap.

“No, Im really fine” you defend yourself again, but you were so so hungry.

“I know what ‘im fine’ means y/n, it means you’ll get hungry when you watch me eat” he says smiling like the big puppy he is.

You can’t help but give in, you take a wrap from him smiling sheepishly. He really was the best.

“You eat so well, it could make anyone hungry” you say cutely while he gobbled up his burrito in literally 2 bites. It was insane to watch this man eat.

He pats your head softly.

“HEY! Burrito hands!” You squeal while he laughs.

→ Lee Dokyeom

You and Dokyeom were cycling in the park. It was one of your first dates. You had met him at a coffee shop,ordering something you also liked so he offered to pay for yours too.

Here you were on another date with the goofball. The original plan was to bicycle around the park and get some lunch at a picnic spot.

But, as with dokyeom, he fell off his bike showing off some ‘cool’ moves to you. Although he made you laugh but the fall looked bad. You ended up getting him some ice from the store to press on his wrist.

“This is very normal”

“What do you mean?”

"I was a very… curious kid, i’d put my feet out on the road as a car would pass, just to see how it feels” you laugh out loud at that. “That’s hilarious”

“At least this is making you hold my hand” he says looking down at your hands pressing his with ice while your other hand hold his wrist in place.

This realisation makes your ears go red.

→ Boo Seungkwan

“I can’t believe it” seungkwan exclaims.

You met seungkwan as a trainee and you had become fast friends. But life happened and you decided not to be a trainee anymore. You ended up going for artist management and becoming a manager.

Life had plans of its own when they assigned you to seungkwan and your friendship rekindled. This time the friendship took a step further and you started to love spending time with him laughing with him.

One fine day in the car you blurted out that you liked him while driving him to a solo schedule. To your surprise he reciprocated these feelings. You were the happiest girl that day.

“What what happened?” You ask. You and seungkwan had come hiking to a mountain close to his place.

“My pants tore”

You laugh out loud. “What a memorable first date” you continue laughing while he scurries to cover himself with his bag and a towel he had brought in his little backpack.

“What a story, ‘kids, your dad hiked so hard, his pants tore on our first date’” you laugh thinking about the anecdote you have now you can use. Its a funny story.

“You want to have kids with me?” He asks stopping what he did and looks up at you

You freeze at what had just come out of your mouth. You did not mean it like that but now that you think about it definitely sounded like you wanted to have his babies.

“Um..”

“Thats cute” he says and a sense of relief washes over you as you try to come up with something else to catch the subject STAT.

→ Choi Vernon

Vernon wanted to watch this scary movie and you liked him so much you just wanted to be with him. But you forgot how scary scary movies can become.

Half way through the movie you were flinching and just uncomfortable in your seat, it really felt like someone was going to grab your feet from under the seat.

Seeing you this uncomfortable, vernon casually decided to put his arm around you and cover your eyes for you while you covered your ears with both your hands to protect yourself from jumpscares.

This position automatically made you lean into him a little and it made you feel a million types of a ways. He smelled good was the only consistent thought.

“Are you okay?” He asks leaning into your ears and whispering.

It sent a shiver down your spine. You nod without being able to push out any words. You liked being this close to him. ‘The things you do to me Choi Vernon’ you think to yourself.

You could watch a thousand horror movies if this is how you watch it.

→ Lee Chan

“Its burnt!” He exclaimed looking at the marshmellow you decided to toast for yourself.

“Thats the flavour!” You defend. You liked slightly burnt marshmallows.

You and chan are childhood friends that ended up falling for each other. Your way of showing love was through constant banter.

One such banter, Chan ended up confessing his feelings for you and you found it so cute.

You move away to get some crackers for the marshmallows. As you come back you hear a scream.

“Whats wrong whats wrong?” You panic and rush to him. You see Chan holding his fingers out and hissing in pain.

You immediately take his hand to inspect.

You see that it was a little red, he probably burnt himself. You see him think for a second. He is going to say something funny, you knew that look on his face, trying to cook up a joke.

“I burnt myself so you’ll like me” he said dramatically looking into your eyes.

The lamest joke ever made you laugh so hard, only because it was Chan who said it.

[literally-izzy]

Just Friends?

summary: you’re in love with your best friend who doesn’t feel the same way. right?

Modern AU!Anakin Skywalker and Fem!reader

A/n: ah! this is my first time writing a fic and i might’ve gotten carried away… there’s also original names. not all of the names are star wars related. please feel free to reblog! it would mean a lot!

cw: smut; unprotected piv, pet names, car accident..

Love. It’s a funny thing. I’ll never understand it. I only know that when it hits you, it hits you hard. Here I am, 25 and still pining over a man who doesn’t want me. You would think that after ten years I would forget about him and move on. It’s hard when he’s your best friend. Anakin Skywalker. I met him my sophomore year, his freshman year. Our moms worked together and became best friends. It was only inevitable that we would too. Every weekend was a movie night at the Skywalker house. Filled with love and laughter. The only times I hated it was when an unwanted visitor came. But I denied the real reason I disliked her.

I told myself it was just because she was too quiet. Not outgoing. Definitely not because she was dating him…. I hated the way he held her in his arms. I eventually began to realize it was because I wished it was me. Any moment I had alone with him was bliss. She didn’t go to our school. They met at summer camp the year before we became friends. So, school, especially choir was a safe place to be with him. He made me laugh like no other. And never changed the way he acted around me when his friends were around.

Now here I am, teaching a class of annoying seventh graders how to sing. Anakin is still in med school. I always admired him for it. He never thought he was smart enough for it. It took my encouragement. We still keep tradition and every Friday night; I go over to his apartment for movie night. When he graduated, he and his girlfriend, Padme, split up. So, for the past 6 years, I’ve never really had to worry about anyone else. He only had a few short relationships throughout the past six years since he graduated. Occasionally his sister joins us for movie night, that’s when we have to watch cheesy hallmark movies. Not that I hate all of them, but I dislike most of them.

I looked down at my desk and saw a text on my phone.

“Just you and me for movie night. Up for Fast and Furious?”

I smiled at the text. My students were currently working on their assignment, so I replied,

“That’s a stupid question, Anakin”. I put my phone down and I sat my chair.

He texted back almost immediately, “so I take that as a yes, y/n?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s a yes. I’d love to talk more but I have a class to teach. Love ya”

“I’ll say a prayer for those students lol. Love ya.”

I smiled at the last sentence. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Of course, we love each other. Mine just goes deeper than his. I’ve thought multiple times about telling him. But I just couldn’t. He’s always with someone new when I finally muster up the courage to tell him. And its not like I’ve stayed single. I’m actually with someone right now. He’s amazing in every way. He’s just not Anakin. I looked down at my phone again and realized I had a text from him.

“Hey babe, I’m gong out of town to see my parents for the weekend. I know you’re going to Anakin’s apartment for movie night, so I figured i’d tell you now”.

I feel like such a bitch. At least he’s not jealous of Anakin. My last relationship ended because I refused to stop seeing him.

I texted back, “okay, have fun!” I know I should’ve said more, but I really didn’t care. I saw another text from him but before I could answer it, the bell rang.

“Okay class, that’s homework if you didn’t finish it. Have a great weekend!” All the kids quickly piled out of my classroom. Once I was alone, I read the text from Trey.

“Okay. I will. Be safe on your drive up there.”

“I will.” I replied. I got my things together and walked out to my car. Once I got in, I connected my phone and started blasting love songs. I’m a hopeless romantic. I started driving.

He lives in the main part of Coruscant. Which is about 45 minutes away from where I live. I spent the drive belting love songs, consciously daydreaming about the life I could have with Anakin.

Once I pull into his driveway, he’s already outside waiting for me.

“Jeez, y/n, took you long enough” he smirks.

“Fuck off, Anakin” I laugh and flip him off. I walk closer to him and give him a hug. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it felt like hours. His muscular arms wrap around me tightly and contract as we breathe in sync. He smelled like the woods behind his house, where we used to explore. His curly dirty blonde hair that shaped his face brushed against my cheek as he finally pulled away. He stood aside, gesturing for me to enter his apartment.

“Wow, you cleaned!” I teased him as I took off my shoes and sat on his black leather couch.

“Yeah, but not for you. It is my bachelor pad after all” he smirked as he sat down beside me.

“Of course,” I said with an eye roll. I tried not to sound annoyed, but I know I did. Part of my annoyance isn’t even because I want him to myself. Some of it is because he’s not as careful as he should be. He just whores around because his good looks and charm let him. One day, he’s gonna end up being a baby daddy to at least three women. And I know i’d still be around to help him. Always being his best friend. Never the love of his life.

“Pizza should be here soon” Anakin interrupted my thoughts.

“Okay great” I give him a warm smile as he sits down beside me. He pulls out his phone and starts to text someone. I know I should give him his privacy, but I’m a nosey bitch. I discreetly shift my head and side my eyes towards his phone. He’s texting a girl named Aayla. From what I could see, they’ve obviously been hooking up.

“Who’s that?” I asked, letting my jealousy get the better of me. He looks up and smirks.

“Just a girl I’ve been seeing occasionally. Why? You jealous?” He teased. I knew he was teasing but I couldn’t stop my face from turning bright red. Every normal word went out the window. I couldn’t speak. Finally, I shook myself out of it and responded nonchalantly.

“Hell no. I don’t need whatever diseases you’ve contracted from your escapades” I teased. He laughed and playfully rolled his eyes. He put his phone face down on his lap and shifted his body to face me. His black ‘KISS’ tee shirt tightened around his body, outlining his stunning six-pack.

“So, how’s everything with Trey?” His face was calm. His lips pressed into a peaceful smile.

“Everything’s great. We just came up on 4 months together.” I couldn’t think of anything interesting to tell him. As bad as it sounds, my relationship with Trey is vanilla. Nothing daring or exciting.

“Can I ask you something?” He raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Of course,” I smiled.

He paused, thinking of what to say next. “So, I’ve only seen him a few times, but he looks awfully boring. Is he any good in bed?”

My jaw dropped. I started laughing a little. “I guess so. He’s only the second guy I’ve been with. I don’t have much to compare him to”.

“Wait, really?” He looked astonished.

I immediately started blushing. I felt embarrassed. “Um, yeah…”

“How come you never told me?” He looked genuinely hurt that I didn’t tell him I’ve only slept with two men.

“I don’t know. We’ve never really gone into detail about our sex lives”

“Yeah, but I mean, I told you when I lost my virginity at least. You didn’t even tell me that.” He sounded so hurt. And I could see where this was coming from. Besides this one topic, I tell him everything. He looked down at my hands that were fidgeting in my lap. All of a sudden, he grabs them. His big strong hands gripping my smaller ones, with a look of compassion on his face. “y/n, please don’t feel like you have to keep things from me. I’m your best friend. I would never judge you”.

How was I not supposed to melt. I nodded and swallowed, keeping my hands in his. “I lost my virginity when I was nineteen. In college. I was with Maul. I was embarrassed to say anything because you lost yours before me and I felt, different, I guess. After we split, I was scared to do it with anyone else. I’ve only recently slept with Trey.”

Just as he was about to speak, the doorbell rang. We knew it was the pizza, so he went up to get it. Once he got it, he walked into the kitchen. It only took a couple of minutes before he came back in with two plates of pizza. He set the plates down, walked back into the kitchen, and came back with two bottles of ‘Mikes hard lemonade’. He then sat beside me, turning on ‘Fast and Furious’.

We had gotten through the first three movies before I started to get sleepy. I tried to stay awake for another movie, but I couldn’t. We had talked about various things. Work, school, family, etc.

“I’m sorry, but I better leave. I’m starting to fall asleep.” I yawned tiredly.

His eyes widened. Then he started to look sad. “Wait, why don’t you just stay the weekend? I know you keep clothes in your car, and you said Trey would be at his parents’ house all weekend.”

I smiled. But then I started overthinking. What if I annoy him too much? We’ve never spent a whole weekend together without breaks. Or what if he wants to bring a girl over? I’d just get in the way. “Are you sure? What if you want to put your bachelor pad to use?” I slightly teased. Only slightly because part of me was serious.

He smirked, “Do you really think girls are over here every weekend?”

“From the way you talk about them, yes.”

He started laughing. “No, y/n. I’m really not that big of a man whore.”

I looked down at my hands, “Oh. Well, what about that Aayla girl?”

“Not important. We aren’t exclusive. She’s just something fun. There’s no relationship there. If there was, I would’ve told you, y/n.” He said seriously.

“Okay. I’ll stay. I don’t have pajamas in my car though.”

He smiled, knowing he had won. “I have a shirt and sweats you can wear.”

“Okay. Do you have a pillow for the couch?” I asked with a soft smile on my face.

“Yes. But not for you. You can have my bed. And that’s non-negotiable.”

I rolled my eyes as I stood up. I was too tired to fight. He motioned for me to follow him into his room. I’d only been in there once, and that was when he moved into the apartment. As we walked in, I was hit with the refreshing smell of his light cologne. His bed was in the corner, facing the door when you walk in. Across from his queen-sized bed was a tall, dark wood dresser. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a gray shirt and black sweatpants.

“Here, they might be a bit big, but you’ll just be sleeping in them.”

“Thank you” I smiled. He set the clothes on his bed before walking closer to me. Once he was close enough, he wrapped his strong arms around me. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent. His head rested on my dirty blonde curls.

“Goodnight, y/n”, he breathed out before pulling away. I sighed and smiled.

“Night, Ani”. With that, he smiled and walked out, shutting his door. I began to remove my clothes and replaced them with his. I was immediately engulfed in his natural woodsy scent. I then crawled into his bed. It was very soft, like laying on a cloud. His black sheets smelled like him. I laid there and started thinking about the future I could have if I just grow a pair and tell him. Eventually, I closed my eyes and drifted off, wishing he was laying beside me.

While I was sleeping, I felt something on my hair. I decided to ignore it. But I can't help but hope it was him. But I won't bring It up.

♡

I woke up to the sound of sizzling. I sat up and admired the way the sun shined on my body through the window above the bed. I tossed my legs over the side of the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I was hit with the smell of bacon, my favorite. I walked further in to see Anakin humming and cooking. He was so focused on breakfast; he didn’t even notice I was awake. So, I started to sing the words of the song he was humming. He quickly turned around with a huge grin on his face. His robe was open, exposing his bare chest. His body was God-like.

“You have such a beautiful voice, y/n/n” he complimented me. Sure, he knew I could sing, but this felt different. I blushed a little before responding.

“Thank you, Ani”. I smiled.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked with his eyebrows slightly raised.

“Yes, I did. Your bed is very comfy” I smiled.

He let out a small chuckle. “I know. So, I deserve a big thank you for letting you sleep in it for this weekend”

I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for letting me sleep in your incredibly comfy bed.”

“You’re welcome.” He turned back around to get our plates ready. Once he was done, he took them to the table and sat down waiting for me. We sat there and ate the eggs and bacon he had made. Then I remembered something.

“Last night, what were you going to say before the pizza got delivered?”

He looked down. He was thinking. “Well, I guess I was just surprised, I guess. It’s hard to believe you’ve only slept with two men.” I looked into his eyes and knitted my eyebrows.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, c’mon y/n/n. Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate how beautiful you are.” I choked on my water. I coughed for a few minutes before responding.

“Oh. Really?”

He smiled and laughed lightly. “Yes. Really.” I could’ve died right there. Why couldn’t he be mine?

Once we finished eating, I walked into his living room and sat on the couch. I got on my phone to check any missed calls or notifications I might’ve had. All I had was a text from Trey.

“Good morning, beautiful. Missed waking up next to you this morning” I didn’t. I wished it was Anakin.

“Why is he so cheesy?” I heard Anakin ask from beside me. I can’t blame him for being nosey, considering I did the same thing last night.

“I don’t know. It’s not my favorite if I’m being honest” I said with a slight grimace. He laughed before focusing back on his phone. I looked back down at the text and decided to respond.

“Good morning! Don’t miss me too much. Enjoy your time with your parents”. I rolled my eyes as I pressed send. I started scrolling on instagram. I stopped when I saw an engagement post an old friend from High school made. An instant feeling of jealousy and heartbreak came over me. I heard Anakin sigh as he started to speak.

“Oh yeah, I saw that.” He spoke as if it made no difference. It probably doesn’t to him. But to me, I feel behind. I thought I still had time to start all of that. Is 25 too old? He started to speak again when I didn’t say anything. “Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft, like velvet

“Am I wasting my life?” I looked up with tears begging to be released from my eyes.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He knitted his eyebrows together.

“I though I still had time before starting a family. I thought 25 was still young. But now, Casey is getting married.” I sniffled. The tears finally leaving my eyes. Without saying anything, Anakin pulled me into a hug. Once again, his woodsy smell engulfed my senses and I felt calm. My face was pressed against his bare chest, since he still hadn’t changed. He gently rubbed my back with his hand. After a few minutes, I pulled away to save myself from falling for him even more, if that was possible. He began to speak.

“I don’t think there’s a time limit. You start it when you’re ready.” He smiled softly.

“When did you get so smart?” I teased. He scoffed and playfully put his hand to his chest.

“I am deeply offended y/n.” I pushed him and we started laughing. He paused. “Hey, I have an idea”

“What?”

“Let’s go see my parents. It’ll give us something to do.” He shrugged. I smiled. I hadn’t seen them in a while.

“I love that idea. I just have to get my clothes out of my car and change” I stood up and did just that. I walked back in with my book bag and went into his room and changed. I walked out with my slightly ripped jeans and my favorite ‘Nirvana’ tee-shirt. Anakin smiled and walked into the room to change while I waited. He walked back out in black jeans and a plain gray shirt. Even in the plainest clothes he was ethereal. I grabbed my phone and his as we walked out the door.

•

On the drive to his parents’ house, we blasted our favorite songs. We belted our hearts out, laughed at the stupid shit he said. My heart fluttered every time he looked at me. The way he says my name. After 20 minutes, we pulled into his parents' driveway. We got out and he rang the doorbell. Their house was white and older. There was a wooded area in their backyard where Anakin, his sister Ashoka, and I would explore and mess around.

When I moved closer to my job, I was sad to be so far away. But when Anakin moved to Coruscant to go to college and Coruscant Medical School, I was elated. We were now only 45 minutes apart instead of an hour. I hadn’t been home in 6 months. My parents haven’t even met Trey. Which is intentional.

After a few seconds, his mom Shmi, opened the door and a huge grin appeared on her face. She then gasped.

“Oh! y/n!! It’s so good to see you!” She pulled me into a tight comforting hug. Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Nice to see you too mom” he teased. I pulled away and smiled. She walked forward and pulled Anakin into a hug as well. Just then, his Step dad, Cliegg, came out and gave me a side hug before hugging Anakin. Shmi finally spoke up.

“Well, come on in! I just made some chili if you’re hungry”. I walked into their house and was hit with the smell of her infamous chili. My mouth immediately started watering. I proceeded to the kitchen and didn’t waste and time on grabbing a bowl. Anakin soon entered behind me and did the same.

Once our bowls were filled, we went into the dining room and sat at the table. His parents joined us, and we began to make some small talk. Shmi smiled and began to speak.

“So, are either of you seeing anyone?” Before I could say anything, Anakin spoke up.

“Well, y/n has a boyfriend. But I’m not seeing anyone right now.” I smiled awkwardly, knowing Shmi would tell my mother. Shmi’s face looked almost sad, as if she wanted me to be single or him to not be.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! What’s his name?” She asked brightly. I looked up from the table and smiled.

“His name is Trey” I said quietly.

“Is that short for anything?” Cliegg spoke up.

“His name is Daniel Jones the third. Because he’s the third, he goes by Trey.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Anakin said almost offended.

“Well, you never asked” I replied. The rest of lunch went well. After a few more hours, we decided to head back home. We hugged his parents goodbye and got back into Anakin’s truck. Once we started driving, Anakin cleared his throat and started to speak.

“Are you mad at me?” He said as if he would start crying if I said yes.

“What? No. Why would I be mad at you?” I asked genuinely.

“I don’t know. You’ve just been distant recently, I guess.” He shrugged, keeping his beautiful blue eyes on the road.

“I’m not trying to be. You’re my best friend, I would never try to distance myself from you.” I sighed. He was right. But I’m only trying to save myself from utter heartbreak.

“Okay. I believe you.” And with that, we stayed silent the rest of the ride home. The only time we spoke was when we stopped at a drive-thru to get food. We ate in the car. Still staying silent. Once we pulled into his driveway, I got out and went straight to his room to change.

In had just finished changing, when Anakin walked in. He just stood there. He didn’t say anything. I spoke up.

“Is everything go-” I was cut short by Anakin when he pressed his lips onto mine. I didn’t even have time to react before he pulled away. His eyes widened.

“I- I’m sorry.” With that, he walked out of his room and shut the door. I wanted to follow him, but I could tell he needed to be alone. I sat on the end of the bed and ran my hands through my hair. I looked down and spoke quietly.

“What the fuck just happened?” I crawled onto the bed and laid down. Did he mean to? Was he fucking with me? Did he want me as much as I want him? No. He couldn’t. It’s been too long for him not to have said anything. I curled into a ball and fell asleep thinking about what just happened.

The next morning, I woke up ready to talk to Anakin. I changed into leggings and a plain blue shirt. When I walked out, I didn’t see him anywhere. I checked every room until I saw a note on his fridge.

“I went for a drive. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I’m so sorry. I’ll see you next weekend, I hope. - Anakin. I wasn’t angry at him for leaving, surprisingly. I understood. I walked back into his room, grabbed my stuff and left. As I drove back to my apartment, I couldn’t help but start to cry. I cried because I was hurt, confused, frustrated, in love.

When I pulled into the driveway, I sat in my car and cried some more. Eventually, I got out and walked into my apartment complex. I got in the elevator and kept my eyes on the floor so no one could see me cry. When the elevator rang, I walked out and ran down the hallway to get to my door.

I walked in and ran into my room. I crawled into my bed and cried. He kissed me and he regrets it. I was stupid to think that maybe we could be something. I fell asleep with tears still running down my cheeks.

After what was probably a few hours, I heard loud knocking on my door. I got up and opened it. Trey.

“Hey gorgeous” he smiled.

“Hi.” I said quietly. I stood to the side allowing him to come in. I couldn’t stop sniffling, so he turned around with a concerned look.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He said softly.

“I just don’t feel good” I lied. I couldn’t tell him that my best friend kissed me, said sorry, then left and I wished he wasn’t sorry. Trey walked over to the couch and sat down. He gestured for me to sit beside him. I did. Once I sat down, he pulled me close to him. I wont lie, Trey is very comforting. He is so sweet and honestly very good looking, but he’s not him. As much as I try to enjoy being with Trey I can't.

I sat there for what felt like another hour, before I got a call. I sat up and answered.

“Hello?” I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hi, this is Coruscant Hospital. Is this y/n y/l/n?” My heart dropped.

“Yes, it is”

“We have Anakin Skywalker here. You were number one on his emergency contact list. He’s in our trauma room right now. He got into a pretty bad accident. I would suggest that you come down and call any other family members”.

I froze. I couldn’t speak. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but I couldn’t make any sound. Finally, I said okay and hung up. I told trey what happened, and I left. I drove as fast as I could without getting pulled over. I sobbed thinking the worst. I called his mom and told her. She immediately tried to calm me down and told me she was on her way.

I pulled into the parking lot and ran in. I told the receptionist his name. She looked him up and told me he was taken into emergency surgery. I sat in the waiting room. His mom eventually came, and I told her. She held me as I cried. We sat in the waiting room for 4 hours. Eventually a doctor came out.

“Are you the family of Anakin Skywalker?”. We both nodded. “He’s out of surgery. He’s in a coma right now. He shouldn’t be asleep for long, but don’t expect him to be awake tonight.”

We nodded. A nurse came and led us to his room. As soon as I saw him, I immediately broke into tears. I pulled a chair up to the side of his bed. I sat down and grabbed his hand. He had a black eye, and his arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He had stitches visible on his chest, before they went under his gown. Shmi grabbed his other hand and gave it a kiss. We sat in silence before she finally spoke.

“He’s so lucky to have you, y/n.” She said softly with a light smile.

“What do you mean?” I asked with utter confusion.

“You bring out the best in him. He trusts you more than anyone. You’d drop anything the moment he asks you to. And you care about him so much. You’ve shed more tears tonight than I think I have in the last 4 years.” She explained.

“Of course, I care about him. He’s my best friend.” She just hummed in response. After an hour or so, another nurse came in.

“Unfortunately, only one of you can stay with him. It’s hospital policy.” I immediately went to stand up when Shmi spoke.

“y/n, stay. You need to. I’ll be back in the morning.” I she said sternly. I didn’t even try to argue with her. She left and I curled up in the chair and slept the best I could.

The next morning, his mom walked in and woke me up. She had brought me some coffee and a breakfast sandwich. We turned on the television and occasionally had a conversation. I barely let go of his hand.

Shmi left to get some lunch. I stayed. I held his hand with my left hand and used my right to caress his face. I whispered softly.

“Please wake up. I need you. I-I love you. Please Ani.” I begged. I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. All I wanted was to hear his voice.

After a bit, Shmi returned, and we talked some more. Once it got late, she left and went back home. I sat there and cried some more. I needed my best friend. I needed my Ani. All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in” I said calmly. Trey walked in with some food,

“I got you something to eat. Figured I could sit with you for a bit and then take you home.” He spoke.

I sighed. “Thank you for the food, but I’m staying here. I refuse to leave him.”

“Can I ask you something?” He said softly.

“Sure” I said staring at Anakin’s beautiful face.

“If that was me, would you stay all night, not eat and hold my hand?” He spoke softly, but I could tell he was sad and angry. How could I blame him? But I was tired of lying.

“No.” And I said that with full honesty. “He’s my best friend. We’ve been inseparable for ten years. Why would that change now?” I spoke quietly. Not once taking my eyes off of Anakin.

“You love him. Don’t you?” He questioned. I didn’t know what to say.

“Of course. He’s my best frie-”. He cut me off.

“Cut the shit, y/n. You love him. More than a friend. And I won’t stand in the way.” He said solemnly. He walked out and I didn’t say anything. I just kept my red teary eyes on the love of my life. Whether he felt the same or not, it’s true. I kissed his hand. And for the first time in years, I prayed.

I prayed to God that he wakes up. That I get my best friend back. I turned off the television and the lights. I sat there with only the beeping of the machines. I leaned forward, laid my head on the side of his bed and cried.

After a bit, his nurse came to check his vitals. I watched as she did her job. I could tell she was very meticulous, and I was thankful for that. After she left, I felt the urge to cry again. So, I pulled out my phone and called the only other person who comforts me. My mom. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before she answered.

“Hello?” She said calmly.

“Hey mom” I said, my voice cracking.

“Oh, baby. I heard what happened to Anakin. Shmi told me you haven’t left his side in almost two days.”

“How could I mom? He’s my person, my safe haven. I need him. I love him.” I said hesitantly.

“We all know that. We’re positive he does too. We were just wondering how long it would take before you noticed.” She said with a laugh in her voice. She was always good at seeing the positive in everything.

“Damn. We’re dense. I just called you to calm myself down but I’m getting tired so I’m going to try and sleep.” I said in a calm tone.

“Okay, sweetie. Call me if you need me. Bye.” And she hung up. I set my phone down and leaned forward again so I could keep holding his hand.

I laid my head on his arm and drifted off to sleep.

I heard talking. I thought it was just nurses until I heard his voice.

“No, don’t wake her. My mom said she barely slept. I want her to get as much sleep as possible.” It was Anakin. I shot my head up. When I did his beautiful ocean blue eyes were on y/e/c ones. I brought my hand up to cover my mouth as I burst into tears. He smiled and brought his hand up to cup my cheek.

“Never mind.” He let out a soft chuckle.

The nurses all walked out and shut the door leaving us alone. I removed my hand and spoke.

“You’re awake!” I exclaimed.

“Am I?” He teased. “y/n, I’m so sorry about what happe-” I cut him off.

“I love you. So much actually.” I blurted out.

“Wait, really?” He knitted his eyebrows

I nodded. “I love you. More than just a friend. I’ve loved you since the day we met. I’ve loved you through every friend, girl, or fight we’ve ever had. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed to tell you.”

His face calmed and he smiled. His hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward. When we were close enough, he pressed his lips on to mine. We kissed passionately for what felt like hours. When we pulled away, he spoke.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that. I only got girlfriends to distract myself from the fact that I loved you. I thought I finally had a chance until you got with Trey. I’ve tried so hard to contain myself, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to leave Friday because I couldn’t handle having to wait another week before I saw you again. And at night I came in and kissed your forehead against my better judgement. y/n, I love you more than any word could express.”

I started crying again. He pulled me close to him. I laid on my side with my head to his chest. And I stayed like that for the next three days until he was discharged.

•

I helped him walk out to my car. Once we got in and I started driving, he put his hand on my thigh. I smiled as I drove us back to his apartment. Once I pulled into his driveway, I got out and helped him get out. We walked into his apartment, and the moment his door was shut, his lips were on mine.

Anakin moved his lips from mine down to my jaw and neck. I let out small moans of pleasure. He moved his hands down and grabbed the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms so he could remove it. Once my shirt was off, we walked into his room. When we got into his room, he began to remove everything except for his boxers. I removed everything but my bra and thong.

“Should we be doing this? You just had surgery 5 days ago” I reminded him.

“Baby, I need exercise to strengthen my heart again. That shard of glass really fucked it up. And what better way to get it working than to do this?” He smirked while he explained. I chose to just nod.

He walked closer to me and caressed every inch of me. He brought his hands around my back and unclipped my bra. I let it slide down my arms as he admired my bare chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby” he grabbed my breasts and began to place kisses on my neck. He pushed me onto his bed and got on top of me. He brought his hands down and removed underwear in one go. I smirked and took my hand and placed it over his boxers, rubbing the impressive bulge. He let out a whimper, which drove me crazy. I pulled down his boxers and widened my eyes. He was huge.

Anakin took his fingers and began to rub my clit. I moaned and threw my head into the pillow. He leaned forward and placed my breast into his mouth.

“That feels so good Ani” I moaned. He began to move his fingers faster around my clit, causing me to squirm. It didn’t take long until he removed his mouth from my nipple and moved his body down.

He spread my legs open, and I felt him sucking on my clit. The feeling was phenomenal. He then started lapping at my pussy like he would die without it. He then took his middle finger and ring finger and began fingering me.

“Oh my god, Anakin. I’m gonna-” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. He let out a dark chuckle before he moved his body up.

I felt the tip of his dick at my entrance. He looked at me and smirked.

“Are you ready baby?” I looked at him and nodded. “Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Fuck, yes I’m ready.” With that, I felt him push his length in me slowly. I threw my head back and moaned loudly. Once I adjusted to his length, he began to thrust into me at a decent pace. He leaned his head down and kissed me deeply while bringing a hand down to rub my clit.

“Ani, go faster” I begged. He began to go faster and felt the knot in my stomach begin to unravel. I let out louder moans until they became incoherent babbles.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good around my cock.” Anakin let out the most glorious whimper I’d ever heard. That was enough to send me into orbit.

“I’m so close” I told him, and he began to thrust faster.

“Fuck baby, me too.” He whined. He kept thrusting faster until I felt my orgasm coming.

“Ani, I’m gonna come.” I moaned. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

“Come with me baby” and with those words I felt my orgasm take over my body as his thrusts began to slow down as he came in me.

“Fuck, y/n” He panted as he pulled out. He bent down and pushed his cum back into my leaking hole, eliciting a moan from my lips.

He got off of me and laid beside me. He then pulled me close to him, so my head was on his chest.

“You have no idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that for.” He confessed and I smiled as I began to trace circles on his chest with my finger.

“Me too” I replied. He leaned his head down and kissed the top of my head.

“I love you, y/n. So much.” He said softly as his hand ran up and down my back.

“I love you too Anakin.” I replied. We laid there, talking. At one point he brought the blanket over us. After a bit, we started to get tired, and it didn’t take long before I fell asleep in his arms. Where I belonged.

[helslastangel]

Mars in 1H & 7H Synastry: From My Experiences 🔞

Minors, do not interact. This one's not for you.

I know this is widely known with 1H Mars synastry, but it bears repeating: this is such an electric and sexy aspect to have!

...IF you like each other. But if you don't?

Especially if the attraction is one-sided? It is SO cringe. One of you could end up hating the other easily.

In fact, let me tell you two stories that show just how differently things can go with this aspect.

Positive 1H Mars Synastry

Guy A: Leo Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising & Venus

I have my Mars in his 1H and his Venus is in my 1H.

This a VERY physical aspect, so if you're the type who loves long hugs, hugs from behind, poking, nibbling, cuddling, kissing and a LOT of sex, even after YEARS together, then keep an eye out for this aspect.

Guy A was my boyfriend of 4 years and we broke up right around the time we would have been talking engagement and such. He was also my best friend for 8 years (which would be 15 years now if we hadn't stopped talking a year after the break up).

I was wildly attracted to this guy from day one. And vice versa! And when we finally got together? Literally could not stop touching each other. It was so funny at times. You know those annoying couples trying to hold hands, steer the cart, and pick stuff up all at once in the grocery store? Yeah, we were that couple. Typically, if I wasn't literally on his lap, I'd be under his arm or pretty much pressed up beside him somehow-and vice versa. Watching TV? Someone's head would be in the other's lap, someone's hands would be in the other's hair, or rubbing their arm or belly.

I remember the first time Guy A and I went on a cute lunch date, before we officially got together. Everyone was pointing and giggling at us because it was sooooo obvious we both couldn't keep our hands off each other at all. 😂

To this day, neither his parents nor mine can believe we didn't get married. We probably should have, tbh. Lol.

Negative 1H Mars Synastry:

Guy B: Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon & Rising, Aries Venus.

I also have my Mars in his 1H. (His moon is in my 1H).

Mars in 1st synastry in one-sided connections is the absolute worst because one of you is madly (VERY madly) in lust confused for love, and the other is perpetually annoyed but attached to the adrenaline rush from all the static, especially if life isn't otherwise exciting at the time.

Guy B was long-term frenemy who I did NOT like romantically and barely liked platonically. We met on a dating site and the conversation was great but from the 1st date in person, I was instantly turned off. All his mannerisms annoyed me, I wasn't attracted to him, and I didn't want him to touch me at all. My reflex was to pull away when he tried. He was extremely attracted to me for some reason despite this, and never let it go. Not even years later. He begged to stay friends when I declined a 2nd date and I was too nice back then so I reluctantly agreed.

Every time he touched me, I wanted to backflip into a volcano. A simple hug made me irrationally angry if he tried to linger half a second too long. It didn't help that he'd always complain about me giving "church hugs."

And before the men start carrying on about how he must have been short, yada yada yada... no, lol he's 6' 5" and fairly good-looking. Just didn't like him then and still don't now.

Our dynamic was always very aggressive, especially from my end. Even our mutual friends noticed that I seemed like a different person specifically around him and not in a good way. I was verbally combative and physically tense around him, even my voice sounded less soft and I was extremely sarcastic. I don't know if he's into girls who are normally like that or if his Aries Venus just liked the challenge, but that annoyed me even more. My dad met him once and immediately acted like he wasn't even there and my mom was like "Yeah, no, don't ever date each other because one of you won't make it out of that alive, it's very obvious."

She's definitely not wrong, our entire "friendship" was a strange anomaly defined around me being perpetually annoyed that he existed but also finding entertainment in all the toxicity and him pretending not to notice that Id happily sell him to the devil for a bag of chips and continuously convincing himself that I secretly liked him.

I told him multiple times he was free to react like a normal human being and not talk to me and his response was, "Eh, I know but somehow even though I hate arguing, I don't really mind arguing with you. Like I hate it but at the same time, it's you. I'm used to it now."

Idk to say about that but yeah, there you have it folks. The moral of the story is: there are always two sides to a coin 😂

Synastry is something that can go two (if not more) ways. No placement or aspect is ever guaranteed to be positive or negative, though some skew one way or the other. If they were, we could all find our perfect matches just by picking birth charts out of a jar and studying them. Be mindful and listen to what your heart and gut tell you and then use your head.

All that being said though, can I talk about 7H Mars synastry for a sec? GOSH I LOVE when someone's Mars is in my 7H.

Mars in 7H Synastry (Positive)

Guy C: Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Rising, Aries Venus

He has Capricorn Mars in my 7H and my gawd. So intentional. This was eons ago. Technically my second boyfriend, but this was the first serious boyfriend who I had all my first times with. The moment my very own McSteamy decided he wanted to date me, there was no long drawn out "should I, shouldn't I, she loves me, she loves me not" - none of that wishy-washy shit. He strolled right up to me and said, "Look, you're allowed to say yes, no, or "get lost, fool" -whatever you want. And I know this may seem a bit soon, and to be honest when I first met you, I didn't know what to think, you kinda seemed like a miss-goody-two-shoes type. But getting to know you for a couple months? I realize you're actually quite a rebel and adventurous like me, but also smart and know how to lay low and play a character when you need to. Anyway, I'd really like to kiss you, but I'm gonna ask you to be my girlfriend first, so let me know."

Well, hell I said yes before he was even done talking and he picked me right up and kissed me against the wall. That was my first kiss too, and a great memory. I love direct people who know what they want, aren't scared to take a risk and are comfortable taking the lead, especially when it's a relationship. That's a Capricorn Mars right there. With Capricorn moon in my 7H that was literally like hitting the jackpot- except I was so young. He was 8 years older than me and ready to settle down. I was just about to fly the nest and see the world and he was kind enough to realize this and not hold me back when I decided to leave.

I will say this placement is excellent if you're sure about wanting a family, kids, and the whole white picket fence thing. I made the right choice as I'm still childfree by choice now and would rather live a semi-nomadic life, working and traveling the world with someone who is the same kind of crazy as me.

I'm not sure if I've experienced any negative Mars 7H house synastry. There are so people I've connected with whose birthdays I've either forgotten or didn't ask for, so I don't have their charts. Of the charts I do have, Guy C is the only one I have this aspect with. I haven't quite felt the same 100% confident, 'all-in' relationship energy from anyone else.

I am curious about how the negative side of this would go, so if any of you have had bad experiences with Mars 7H synastry and want to share, let's meet in the comments 😹

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for breaking up with my partner over something my best friend told me?

Hi, I'm 20, (they/he) and have been seeing said partner, 23 (any, also I'll call them V from now on) for almost three years apparently. We met in 2020 at a BLM demonstration and quickly became friends. Back then I had been crushing on them for a while but was in a then closed relationship. My girlfriend of that time (20, she/her, let'scall her F) and I opened our relationship and around Halloween I told V. They asked if it was open sexually or also open romantically. After discussing it with F, we said romantically as well, even though I knew that I was unable to commit 100% to loving someone besides F.

Yes, I know. I should have been honest back then. And I was, in a way. I told V that I didn't think I could love them the same way I loved F. It didn't matter then. But it does now.

F broke up with me in February and since then V and I have gotten closer and gone on regular dates and stuff. I still can't love them the way I should, though. I don't know why. We send each other hearts all the time and I tell them I love them, but only in English, because the words in my native language are too heavy and more meaningful (to me at least).

Now I have thought about breaking up with V thousands of times, and always felt bad because how do I explain that even though I said it(that I loved them) I never meant it 100%?

Last week my two best friends W (20, any) and K(20, he/him) (who are dating btw) were supposed to look after my cat (3, she/her). V was there when W showed up and I explained what to do, when to feed her etc.

Now apparently, when I was gone for a hot second to take out the trash or something, V bit W. V has always been a very affectionate and touchy person which has put off both W and K before, since they barely know V and aren't that touchy even with people they know very well (like me. We've known each other for 9 years and been best friends for 8 and 6 of those respectively). So W told me they signalled that they felt uncomfortable with that but V tried to do it a second time and was only apprehended by W fleeing.

Normally, this kind of boundary violation would cause me to cut ties with someone immediately. I am not a stranger to unwanted affection and know that W feels extremely violated by this. It affected them so much they were mentally incapable to take care of my cat and in the end, V ended up looking after her. Which is why it is so hard for me to know what to do.

W is my best friend. I love them dearly and wouldn't have survived school without them. They were violated and felt so horrible and dirty they had to take a long shower to even feel like a person again.

V is my partner who keeps telling their friends and family how well things are between us. I love their mum and I know some of their friends through work and the CSD parade. I feel so guilty about sort of lying to them and saw this incident as an out of a relationship that should've provably ended months ago.

So would breaking up with them over this make me the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[not-goldy]

jimin has always been the one showing his attraction to jungkook while jungkook was the one who was shy about it. jimin was the one bringing up the hickey, saying he was with jungkook on his birthday, posting pictures about jungkook, while jungkook did none of those things. it's really interesting how you have persuaded yourself into thinking that jimin was the shy one and jungkook was the one encouraging jimin because it was absolutely not like that until jimin decided to take a step back from posting and engaging with jungkook. even in 2023, it was jimin who was the one consistently commenting on jungkook's lives while jungkook did it once! jungkook didn't visit any of jimin's promotional activities, yet you celebrate jimin flying to new york. you know jimin has always been the one to show up. when did the narrative change to fit your "jungkook is the best boyfriend" spiel?

Okay..... but Jimin didn't bring up the hickey Jungkook just snitched on him on his own.

Jimin is.... kinda shy though ....

I mean underneath all that rah rah

Sure he is extroverted but being extroverted don't mean you are impervious to shyness or vice versa.

Let me tell you a story

I met a beautiful older woman we talked we flirted we crossed certain lines flash forward 6 months and we are sort of seeing eachother but it's not official.

I wasn't fully out only a few people knew AND I wasn't prepared to come out not to anybody.

She seemed out out more so out than I was but for some reason she wanted to keep us a secret. She had divorced her husband because she admitted to him and herself she's gay.

Some how being with me was a bit embarrassing for her- she didn't say this but I just could tell. Me and her kids get along well and they all think I'm just a younger colleague of their mom.

Her ex husband thinks we are dating but he's always looking at me as some toddler and even joked a couple of times he would have agreed to a threescore with me if she wanted something "young and fresh"

One time he said now my ex can appreciate why men prepare younger women.

She doesn't say it bothers her as certain topics are off the table and we don't broach into that at all.

She's done well for herself over the years worked hard and climbed up the ladder and She's top gee in the work place. Everyone respects her but particularly so because she represents this conservative Christian family woman living the traditional life style.

She's been with others before me that's for sure but I'm the first after her divorce.

Now do I want to come out to everyone about my sexuality- no. But we were always arguing because I also didn't want to be kept a secret especially to people meaningful to us.

I wanted our relationship to be seen as valid and respected for what it was.

Saying this to explain the complexity of the concept of outing and showing- its not as simple as oh this person is bold and brazen and isn't afraid to hold hands and show affection.

My ex could do all that but still recoil in front of a different crowd. She doesn't mind being intimate and showing around her kids but she as a different person around her ex husband and their mutual friends.

She didn't mind being showy around my friends and family but around her colleagues she acted as if I'm just one kid who likes to bother her.

When I see Jungkook I don't see him picking and choosing or even reading the room most times- save for a few random instances. It can be frustrating dealing with someone like that who wants consistency to the point they become reckless.

When I was with her I was always accused of being reckless and wanting to ruin her hard earned reputation as a respectable woman. One time I kissed her in front of our colleagues and everyone cheered. But we didn't speak for a whole month afterwards because she said I embarrassed her. She said it wasn't meaningful because I was drunk blah blah blah. Fuck her. Hope she never finds love again.

In retrospect may be I could have been more thoughtful and considerate but geez I don't really play into respectability politics ion give a fuck what no one thinks of me or us.

Anywho try not to oversimplify some of these issues two things can be true at once it's not always either or and try to catch the nuances of some of these things.

And why can't they both be best boyfriends😩

They are both best boyfriends

Say it with me

[goldengleams]

torn - jamie drysdale x reader

———————————————————————

In which Jamie doesn’t have to navigate an injury alone.

Jamie Drysdale x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: medical inaccuracies, mentions of injury/surgery, please pretend the game where Jamie got injured was a home game !

———————————————————————

You swirled around your drink, staring at the television behind your friends’ head. Your best friend and roommate sat around you planning which house would be the first stop on the Halloween weekend party circuit.

“Y/N, are you even listening?” Your friend Meredith pulled you out of your trance.

“Uh, no, what did you say?” You asked, meeting her eyes just as she rolled them and looked back in the mirror to keep getting ready.

“I said we have to leave in forty-five minutes or else we won’t get to Sigma Chi in time,” she said. “Allison and Chelsea are already in their costumes, too, so you’ve got to get ready!”

You made a move to stand up and pull your costume on, but didn’t totally shift your focus from the game. The Anaheim Ducks were playing the Vegas Golden Knights and were down by one goal. You searched the screen for number 6, and hoped that things would end up good for your team.

It had been a long week of receiving midterm grades back and trying to adjust your focus to the second half of the semester. Your research lab gave you more hours, which was great for experience, but had significantly limited the amount of time you had to do other things. The last place you wanted to go was to a frat party on Halloween weekend.

“Is this party even supposed to be good? The last one these guys threw was trash, Mere.”

Meredith turned from her desk to give you a death stare. “You’re going to put on your Britney Spears “Oops!….I Did it Again” outfit, and you’re going to turn off the Ducks’ game, and we’re going to have fun, okay?”

“I feel like you’re going to have more fun than I will,” you sighed.

“Well, duh! You’re only half a drink in and I’m trying to get psyched for our matching Britney costumes!”

Meredith was dressed like Britney in the "…Baby One More Time" video and you were her counterpart in a tight red one piece. You both loved Britney, so the costume was a no brainer. She downed the rest of her drink and made a move to pour you a shot to take with her.

"We haven’t hung out in forever and this is going to be fun, I promise, Y/N.”

“I know, I’m just a little exhausted from this week,” you said. You rubbed your eyes and tried to get a little energy.

“You want me to make you a vodka Red Bull? That got you excited last time Trevor and Jamie came down."

“I think the last thing I need is that, Mere,” you chuckled.

“Okay well finish your High Noon and loosen up! You know Jamie wouldn’t want you sitting here having no fun!”

You guessed she was right. Jamie Drysdale, your boyfriend of a year, was over an hour away, doing exactly what he loved. You never expected that you would find someone and date them throughout college, especially not someone who didn’t even attend your college, but here you were. Jamie had swept you off your feet and you hadn’t looked back since. The two of you met during your summer internship as the social media manager for the team. After lots of nudging from Jamie's teammate, Trevor Zegras, you had hung out with Jamie alone and next thing you knew, you were dating a professional hockey player.

You were always so proud of him for doing his best out on the ice. Your friends thought your relationship was so cute and hoped for the best for both of you.

Jamie had gotten you to leave campus and come to a few Ducks games with your friends, but when they were during a busy week, you typically turned him down. Now, you hadn't seen him face to face in almost two weeks. You watched his games as much as you could, even when it interfered with coveted Halloween plans.

"Okay c'mon, no more hockey," she chided, pushing a shot into your hands. "Let's cheers to the fact that the basketball team is supposed to be there and I’m not missing my chance with one of those cuties!”

You groaned while Meredith clinked your shots together and threw hers back. You were about to drink yours to really get your night started when the sight on the television made your breath hitch.

A slow motion replay had just ended on the screen and you could see Jamie stepping off the ice with a trainer holding his jersey. You must have missed the actual moment.

"Mere, where's the remote?" You frantically looked around the room until you spotted the white rectangle.

"No, we're not watching this again, Y/N!"

You rushed to rewind to see what had happened and why Jamie had left, looking so unsteady. Meredith came to stand next to you and put a hand on your shoulder. Once you felt like you had gone back far enough, you pressed play.

"...Jamie Drysdale shaken up here, kinda favoring that left arm," the commentator trailed off and you were left with the slow motion replay.

Jamie had been shoved up against the glass by a member of the opposing team and crumpled to the ground. The commentators spoke about how the hit wasn't anything that deserved a penalty but their words started to fade into the background. Your eyes were glued to the screen.

"And that's not good," the commentator sighed.

"Holy shit."

You felt the remote slowly start to fall from your hand as your body trembled with the weight of what you just watched sinking in. Jamie was hurt. You'd never seen him hurt. The remote clattered to the floor.

"Y/N," Meredith started.

Your body started to move before your mind did as you grabbed your phone and opened it up to Twitter to see what people were saying.

"Hey, no, no. You are not wasting your time on social media, Y/N," Meredith said, taking your phone and setting it down. "Look, I don't know for sure what happened, none of us do. But it's up to you what you want to do next."

Meredith seemed to have sobered up and you instantly shook off the few sips of a drink you had. In your haste and confusion, you forgot that Meredith was probably the best person to have in your corner. She was studying physiology and sports medicine and had worked with a minor league baseball team.

"Is it bad?" Your whisper was barely audible.

"Shoulders are tough, it could be a tear or a separation," she sighed. "The way his shoulder was in a dead hang, it's probably a tear or a separation."

"Does he need surgery? A tear doesn't sound like it needs surgery."

"It depends," Meredith shrugged. "If it's bad enough, athletes are almost always recommended for surgery to speed up the healing process. It's hard to know from only seeing it that quickly."

You nodded.

"Well, I don't know which hospital he's at, I can probably call someone to give me the number of the trainer," you sighed. "I, uh, I feel like I should try to see him.”

She pulled you into a hug and gave you a light squeeze.

"I think you should, too. He's going to be so glad you're there."

The next few minutes were filled with you packing a bag with all of your necessities and a few pairs of clothing. Your school had given you Monday off, so you quickly planned to be in Anaheim for a few days.

Meredith made no attempt to leave you, even when you knew she was supposed to be ready to leave. Thirty minutes later, you had everything you needed packed and were in contact with one of your old coworkers who knew the trainer for the Ducks and gave you his number.

"Love you so much, Y/N," Meredith said while hugging you. "Give Jamie lots of TLC and text me when you get there, okay?"

You wiped your eyes before promising her you would. She shooed you out the door and you climbed into your car to begin the drive to Anaheim.

You played light music during the ride to calm your nerves. Heart pounding in your chest, you dialed the number for team trainer.

A long phone call later, you learned which hospital Jamie had been brought to. You learned from the trainer that they believed he had torn his labrum in his shoulder and was waiting to be brought in for scans.

Before you knew it, you had pulled up to the hospital. The bright lights blinded you in the wake of your destination. Once you parked, you exited the parking garage and texted the trainer to meet you outside.

"Y/N?" A voice called out to you. You turned to your right and saw a man in a black track suit waving to you.

"Hi, it's Chad, right?" You said, offering your hand.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you," Chad shook your hand and turned to walk into the building. You steeled yourself and followed him in.

"He's just finished his tests and it confirmed the torn labrum, like we suspected. Luckily, the orthopedic surgeon that's on tonight will be able to do his surgery before the night ends." he said, guiding you through the hallways. "His parents are trying to get on the earliest flight to come see him, they're hoping to be here by Sunday at the latest."

You tried to keep up his pace and take everything in as you chatted in the elevator.

"Jamie's on the third floor. They've got him on some meds to ease the pain now but they'll get him prepped on anesthesia and a block when they're ready for him."

Chad abruptly stopped in front of a door that he pointed out to be Jamie's room. "I'll leave you to it, I'm sure he'll be excited to see you."

Chad left you there alone, promising to be in the waiting area to keep an eye out for the doctor who would be performing the surgery.

You braced yourself as you gripped the handle of the door. Should you have texted Jamie beforehand?

You slowly pushed open the door handle and peeked your head around. Sitting in the bed in front of you was your boyfriend.

Jamie was dressed in a hospital gown with a blanket covering his legs. The bed was propped up and his arm was in a white sling, resting on some pillows to keep it in place. An IV was placed in the crook of his right elbow to keep him comfortable as possible.

“Hey,” you said quietly, trying not to startle him.

Jamie’s eyes left the television screen in the corner of his room and came to rest on you.

“Hi babe,” he said, a sad smile starting to take over his face. He tried to push himself up a little to greet you but he fell back to the bed in a groan.

“Don’t move, it’s just me,” you reminded him. “I’m right here, J.”

You walked over to his right side and set your bag down on the floor. Your heart melted at the sight of him looking so vulnerable in the hospital bed. You leaned over to run your fingers through his hair to give him some comfort.

“How are you feeling?” You asked, knowing the answer wouldn’t be ideal.

“I’m alright,” he let out a soft chuckle. “Been better, I guess.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” your hand trailed down his arm to meet his hand on the bed.

“We lost the game, too.”

“Shit,” you sighed.

You hadn’t checked the score of the game since you left your dorm. You were solely focused on getting to Jamie as quickly as possible.

“I’m sorry you had to drive down here on Halloween weekend to sit in a hospital with me. You shouldn’t have had to come,” he trailed off, closing his eyes as a wave of pain erupted in his shoulder. His right arm reached to pull his right closer to his body.

“Don’t say sorry, I wasn’t gonna have any fun this weekend anyways, not without you. Meredith was gonna get sloppy and then I’d have to wrangle her back to our dorm,” you mentioned, which was true. The whole weekend was going to consist of you following around Meredith as she got as drunk as possible. You got Jamie to let out a soft laugh. He knew how you and Meredith liked to go out and have fun, even if you went overboard most times.

“You have to have surgery, right?”

Jamie nodded, letting out an exhale as you mentioned the word surgery. You knew he wasn’t a big fan of needles or anything to do with hospitals, so you felt bad for him that he had to undergo emergency surgery.

“They said it‘a a quick surgery, thank God,” he breathed out a sigh. “Feels like my whole arm is out of place and it hurts like crazy."

For the first time since you walked in the room, you really looked at Jamie’s left side. He was trying to keep his body as still as possible so he wouldn’t jostle his arm. You could see faint bruises forming right at the neckline of the hospital gown. You didn’t get squeamish very easily, but the reality of Jamie’s injury was starting to make your stomach hurt.

“Missed you, been forever since I saw you,” he mumbled. You could tell Jamie wanted to change the subject and you couldn’t help but go along with him since he needed the distraction. You tore your eyes away from his shoulder with a shaky breath. Jamie needed you to be here with him.

“I missed you, too,” you said, smiling as he looked you in the eyes. His big blue eyes were clouded over and you wiped a tear from his cheek. “We have Monday off so I can stay with you until then if you want. I can tell you all about midterms and my research lab.”

“Of course I want that, are you crazy? Any Y/N time I can get is appreciated,” he laughed and grabbed your hand to kiss it.

You continued to chat with him until the doctor came in and told him they were going to prep him for surgery. Jamie tensed up but you reassured him that everything would be fine.

“It’s super quick and then we get to go home,” you told him. You leaned down to give him a kiss which he eagerly returned. You pulled back before he could deepen the kiss and make you flustered in front of the nurse who was checking his sheet.

“More of that at home?” He mused. You couldn’t help but smile at Jamie. He was a quiet guy, but around people he knew, he could be outgoing and playful.

“I probably shouldn’t say no to an injured guy,” you teased.

“I'm not just some guy,” he poked you in the stomach and made you laugh. You gave him one more quick kiss before turning to head out of the room.

Chad was sitting outside the room and you sat next to him. He told you he was planning on staying until Jamie was ready to head home, which would be shortly after he woke up and was able to get dressed. The surgery was an easy outpatient surgery, so you figured you’d be home right around midnight.

You got the rundown on Jamie’s recovery and what you should do to help him in the next few days. Chad warned you that he might not get much sleep due to the pain but that he should get some relief from the strong pain medication he would be taking a few times each day.

“It’ll be a little rough, but he’ll be in good hands with you and Zegras. He’ll bounce back quickly with PT,” Chad reminded you.

An hour went by and next thing you knew, a doctor was coming out to tell you that Jamie had woken up and could go home whenever he was ready. The doctor had cleared him and said he would be on the mend.

You went back into Jamie’s room, where you found him chatting to a nurse who was helping him sit up.

“Hi there, he just woke up and was asking for you,” she said sweetly, looking at you.

“He’s a little disoriented but he shouldn’t be in too much pain, the doctor uses a nerve block that will wear off within the day.”

Jamie lifted his head to see you standing there in front of him. He looked at you through half lidded eyes. He looked a little pale from waking up from surgery and moved slowly to get up with the help of his nurse. You took in how soft he looked as the nurse helped him zip up the Ducks sweatshirt that Chad had brought for him.

He now had on a black sling that would keep his shoulder in place and protect him from knocking into anything.

“Hi J,” you said quietly. “The surgery is all done, babe.”

He nodded and mumbled that he was ready to go home as you helped him into the wheelchair that would bring him to your car. Chad said goodbye to you as you left the room, telling you to call if you needed anything from him.

“He said he was ready to spend the weekend with you, what a sweet guy,” the nurse said, wheeling him out of the room.

“Yeah, he’s the best,” you said, blushing. “I got lucky with Jamie.”

You parted ways momentarily to go bring your car down so Jamie could get in easily. With some help, you got him sitting and thanked the nurse before she shut the door. You were really on your own with Jamie now. This didn’t usually worry you, but you wanted to keep him as comfortable as possible.

“Hey, it’s finally just me and you,” you said, looking over at him as you pulled away.

Jamie was leaned back in your front seat with his eyes closed, his head hanging down a little. He looked pretty comfortable, if the content look on his face was anything to go by.

“I told the nurse that I’ve got the best girlfriend in the world,” he muttered. “I told her that I wanna say ‘I love you’ soon. I don’t wanna take too long and miss my chance.”

“I bet she’ll be really excited to hear that, J.”

You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face. You and Jamie had agreed to take it slow when you started dating. At the time, he had really just begun his professional hockey career and you had a few more years left in college, so you weren’t looking to rush into anything that you couldn’t keep up with.

Neither one of you had said I love you yet, but more and more you were finding the words on the tip of your tongue. You were scared that saying it first would result in heartbreak, so you refrained from letting the words slip out. Even in his disoriented state, you knew Jamie would never say something untrue. His honesty was reassuring to you and you knew you could tell him how you really felt when he was feeling better.

———————————————————————

You filled Jamie’s prescription and headed back to his and Trevor’s apartment. A text to Trevor let him know that you were on your way back so he could help you bring Jamie inside.

Once you pulled to a stop, you sent Trevor a message and waited until he came outside.

“Jamie? We’re home,” you said, not trying to startle him. You placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to wake him up.

Jamie stirred, opening his eyes and looking around blearily. He let out a huff of breath as he took in the sling he was sporting. You figured he was truly seeing it for the first time since you had left the hospital.

"Why does my shoulder feel numb?" He questioned, dragging his eyes up to meet yours. You could tell he felt uncomfortable in the sling and felt sorry for him.

"It was from the surgery, J. Does it hurt?"

Jamie seemed to think about it for a minute before he shrugged. You flinched as he did so and he let out a groan. "Can't do that anymore."

“Trevor’s about to come down to help you walk upstairs, okay?”

Jamie seemed to acknowledge you and looked to see Trevor approaching the car. Trevor was sporting a hoodie and shorts and looked a little rough. You could imagine that the team was taking Jamie's injury pretty hard.

Trevor opened the door and you could tell he was trying to smile as he took in the state of his roommate in the front seat.

"Hey Jimmy, you made it home, man," he said quietly.

Jamie, not in the mood to talk, sleepily nodded and allowed himself to be gently manhandled out of the car.

"You didn't win, Z," Jamie mumbled as Trevor wrapped an arm around his waist to walk him towards the door to the apartment building.

"Couldn't focus without you."

You let Trevor bring Jamie in as you grabbed your bag and locked your car. You couldn't help but whip out your phone and take a picture of the two of them from behind. Trevor and you had similar personalities, both extroverted and ready for fun. You bonded with him immediately.

"Yo roomie, you coming or what?" Trevor called, turning back to see you behind them. "I might just steal your little boyfriend for the night if you don't hurry."

"You wish, Zegras."

———————————————————————

By the time you trekked up to Trevor and Jamie's apartment, Jamie was absolutely wiped. Trevor gracefully deposited him on the couch while you set your bag down.

"Thanks for your help, Z," you acknowledged. "Sorry the game didn't turn out well."

"No problem, and no one cared about that after seeing Jamie down. I think I'm still in disbelief," he chuckled. You knew Trevor was probably tired from the game and most likely had practice in the morning to regroup as a team.

"Was he in a lot of pain?" Trevor whispered to you. Jamie was half asleep and the news was playing on the television but you assumed Trevor was trying to be cautious around him. Trevor and Jamie loved each other like brothers and it was hard for him, too.

You nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah, it sucked to see him like that."

Trevor wrapped you in a hug before you could say anything else, assuring you that you would both get through it together.

"And when you go back to school to be all smart next week, I promise I'll take good care of him and give him lots of cuddles," Trevor assured you.

You laughed as he held up a salute towards you. Trevor had easily become one of your close friends within the past year. You always felt comfortable around him.

"That would be perfect, Z," you said, a genuine smile reaching your cheeks. "Go wake my boy up so he can eat something."

"Eat? He's dead to the world, Y/N!"

"And when the block wears off and he's in pain, he'll wish he took the medicine early to minimize it," you said in retaliation.

Trevor looked at you as he tilted his head sideways, eyes narrowing.

"Does Jamie know he's dating a know-it-all?"

"Yup, and he loves it, Zegras, " you responded teasingly.

Trevor followed your lead, waking Jamie up as you made him some toast so he could take a dose of medicine.

"She's making you toast right now, dude. She'll be back in a minute," you heard Trevor say as you approached them with Jamie's food.

"He was wondering where you went, y'know, since I'm chopped liver," Trevor joked.

"I'm right here, J. I brought you something," you said. You helped him eat some of the toast before taking some medicine. Trevor assisted you in getting him out of his jacket and into his bedroom as you cleaned up. Waves of exhaustion were just starting to hit you. A text was sent to Meredith to update her on the night to which you received a jumble of letters in response. At least someone was having a fun night. You brought your bag into Jamie's room to get changed and go to bed.

When you entered the room, you were surprised by the boys in front of you. Jamie was propped up on pillows, sitting half upright in bed while Trevor made sure he was comfortable. Trevor had helped him change and got him ready for bed. It was a sight for sore eyes.

"Your boyfriend ready for bed, Z?"

"Oh yeah, minty breath and everything. Hey, I work wonders, Y/N," Trevor quipped, always able to make a joke, even when he was tired.

You and Jamie said goodnight to Trevor. He told you he'd be back around noon after morning practice.

Once you had changed and washed your face, you took a deep breath before walking back into Jamie's room. Jamie had woken up a little in after eating something and had turned on Friends to watch.

"Need anything?" Your voice cut through the quiet hum of the television.

"Just you," he mused. You rolled your eyes as you turned out the light and joined him, but he knew you didn't really mean it. His teammates had always teased him about being whipped for you, but he never cared. Jamie loved to take you on special dates and show you around California since you were both still pretty new to the state. He thought you were such a smart girl and you kept him in awe every time you hung out.

"Thanks for tonight, Y/N. I know it wasn't really ideal," Jamie trailed off as you climbed into bed next to him. "I'm sorry I put you in these situations."

"You know there's nothing you need to be sorry about, right? It's not like this was your fault, J."

Jamie didn't meet your eyes as you inched closer to him. You were on his injured side, which was right at the middle of his bed on pillows to keep him steady in the night.

"Hey, look at me," you whispered. "I know what I got myself into when I started dating you. I'm not scared."

He could hear the reassurance in your voice and felt hopeful for the first time that night. You moved a little closer so you could hold his face in your hands.

In the soft light of the television, Jamie met your gaze. "I don't want to stop you from your future, Y/N."

You huffed out a sigh, kneeling and climbing onto Jamie's lap. He reacted in surprise, right hand coming to find your waist as you made sure to give him space for his sling.

"I'm gonna smush your face if you don't listen to me, Drysdale," you attempted, threateningly.

"I'm in for the long haul, okay?" You were now holding Jamie's face in your hands, staring into his eyes. "Y'know, if you want me to be."

Instead of answering you, Jamie leaned in to kiss you. You allowed him to push his tongue into your mouth, sinking into his touch.

"I want you forever," he mumbled into your mouth before pulling away. "I, uh, I know I'm not the best at telling you everything, but I love you, Y/N."

You could practically feel your pupils dilating as a wide smile broke out on your face. "And I love you, Jamie Drysdale. Took you long enough, you dork."

You finished your makeout session and settled into bed next to Jamie. You wrapped a hand around his stomach as you settled in to sleep on your stomach. You were almost asleep before you heard Jamie whisper something above you.

“Shit,” you heard Jamie say.

“Are you alright?” You leaned up, fearing that he had hurt himself, but instead he had his right hand dragging over his face.

“I won’t get to see you in that hot Britney costume.”

“Oh my god, I hate you."

"You said I love you, actually."

"Don't get smart, Drysdale."

"I love you too, babe."

———————————————————————

A/N: Hi guys!! Thanks so so much for all of your likes and everything! I've been thinking of writing this one for a while, so I hope you enjoy!

[graciegoeskrazy]

hello love, could you write something with healy reader and gabriette? like how their relationship works, maybe reader not liking her at first, preferring some other ex from matty and feeling abandoned by matty, and what matty and gabriette do so that reader feels better about them? thank you i love your writing

hc on reader and matty’s gf’s

matty healy + reader + gabriette (+others)

Warnings: language, parents dating, mention of anxiety, idrk, I did a hc my bad

A/n: oh hello random person I’ve never met in my life. Never met before mhm nope. Def not known each other since kindergarten. Nun uh nope. Anywhooo. Enjoy or I’ll find you. (Jokes on you. I’ve know this individual forever and they are the ONLY person in my real life that knows I write this shit and I completely forgot about that(I told them and a 1975 concert btw lmao) and I saw the request and forgot and i laughed at 2am bahahaha) jk love u bie

look at the photo they r so mamma y papa I casaanttttt

The thought of your dad and his love life makes u want to smile and puke all at the same time

You’ve never had a mom/mother figure growing up

That’s just how it was and you were fine with it

Your dad always told you ‘our family is perfect the way it is’

And you believed him

He had quite a few girlfriends when you were younger

None of which you really cared for

the most serious one in your opinion was with Gabriella

She felt like a true friend

And you were heartbroken when she left your dad

Understandably left your dad

I mean the guy was a mess

Even since those 4 years, u became more aware of how these ‘relationships’ really work

U learned what marriage meant and became fearful that your little family was going to change forever

After your dad and Gabriella broke up it wasn't long after that your dad found fka twigs

That one was a little more complicated

Just because you were growing up and becoming more mature and aware of things that were going on

She was nice to you, you cant deny

But your dad changed immensely while he was with her

He seemed to fall back into some of his old ways and that scared the shit out of you

The dynamic between your dad and you changed, not for the better

It wasn't that you blamed her for your father’s acting out

You blamed him and therefore turned on her too, never saying or doing anything mean, but just avoiding your father and in turn avoiding her too

But the moments where you did connect were lovely

There were just far too few of them

Your dad was even more heartbroken when they broke up which was surprising

You just let him be and made his emotions George’s problem

Charlotte didn't last long

you met her once at a party and they weren't even dating then

You technically weren't even aware they were dating until the news broke that they split

y/n | *1 attachment

y/n | since when did you have a girlfriend

y/n | yall like actually dated???

father healy | yeah lol

father healy | I didn't think it was gonna actually be anything so I never really told you

father healy | my b

y/n | dw.

y/n | sorry you have a complicated love life

father healy | its alright. Youre the only girl I truly need : )

y/n | awe u big ol sap

y/n | maybe you need to try someone whos not a model

y/n | or actress

y/n | just like a normal human ??

father healy | hm ok ill give it a thought

and then he dated fucking taylor swift

“What the actual fuck were you thinking?” You said storming into the dinning room.

“What?” All 4 boys said in unison.

You turnnd tour phone around and showed them all the page six article “Oh shit.”

“You’re dating DOCTOR TAYLOR ALLISON SWIFT?!?!?!”

George slapped him.“We told you to tell her before the rest of the world found out”

“You all knew?!?!”

‘Of course, we knew. We’re his best friend!” Ross said matter of factly.

“And I’m his own flesh and blood! There’s a pecking order!!!” Your gaze fell back to your dad. “You can’t do this.”

“What?”

“Date fucking Taylor Swift! She just got out of a 6-year relationship and you are the problematic guy on TikTok with a couple of good songs.”

“Damn, ok, thanks.” Adam said while bouncing his son up and down.

“You done?” Matty asked, getting serious and parental.

“No.” You said.

Matty gestured for yo to finish.

You thought for a moment and said “Fuck you.” You released a sigh you didnt know you were holding in. “Okay, now I’m done.”

He pated the seat next to him and you climbed over George like you’ve done since you were little to get to the seat. He moved a peace of hair out of your eyes and wiped your tears. “It’s not that serious. Yes, she got out of a 7-year relationship and I’m impossible to love so we’re taking it slow. Alright? And, look, I know you already met her but she would like to”

“Yes.”

All the boys chuckled.

Matty continued. “Listen, I want you to th-”

“Yes.” Matty laughed harder. “Dude it's Taylor Swift.” You said, mater-of-factly.

“Alright.” he sighed.

George pipped in. “Tell her where you’re going this weekend.”

Matty just deadpanned him, wanting to save that news for later.

No fucking way. You were about to lose your shit. “Where are you going this weekend?”

“... Nashville.” He said hesitantly.

“No, you are fucking not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you are fucking not.”

“Yes, I am…And you can come to.”

You cried more. Omfg you were going to the Eras Tour.

He hugged you and kissed your head as you buried your face in your hands. Everyone laughed at your antics. Yu hugged him back and said thank you. “I need to stop making me learn about your relationships through social media.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

Then they lasted for like a month lmao

When Gabriette came along, he actually told you before he told the internet!!!

You thought she was nice and super pretty

And plus you’ve never seen our dad this happy in a long time

Your dad had asked and made sure it was okay for her to come around during a party

You said it was no biggie but was slightly panicking on the inside

Just because you knew nothing about her

You stuck to George most of the night

Both men were fully aware of what you were doing - retreating into your shell - but didn't comment and instead let you be

You never liked parties in the first place and the added circumstances didn't help

She brought a dish and you coant deny it was killer

The music was really loud but she introduced herself and it was sweet

Matty noticed you later on a couch, staring out into space and sat down next to you

He excused himself from Gabriette and she understood what was happening

You assured your dad it had nothing to do with her or anything it was just the environment you were in

Which was absolutely believable and probably true

It was just your anxiety taking over in a space like this

Anywhooo the night winded down and it was now just you, your dad, and the closest inner circle

Including Gabriette

He pulled her aside again and told her that you were having lil sprouts of anxiety

She 100% understood and told him to do whatever he needed for you

He sat by you the whole night and she sat next to Charli

You became more yourself in the quieter environment

It was a fun end to the night

She spent a few nights over during winter break and you didn't mind

She was fun to be around

You both baked together which was a fun spur of moment things

It was never awkward

It was just fun with her

And you were glad your dad was happy.

[justagirlwith2manyfeelings]

My best friend and I haven't talked

My best friend and I haven't spoken to one another in 6 months.

Back in April, we went to our first Coachella together and things felt.. off. I knew she was kind of annoyed or upset with me because a week prior she sent me a text saying, "I'm getting married, Are you down or are you down?"

I was caught by surprise by this text because.. what do you mean you're getting married? When were you engaged? When are you getting married? Is this your engagement announcement? is this a joke?; these were all the questions going through my mind so I replied a simple, "Huh? lol" to which she said, "Exactly what I said, I'm getting married, lol" to which then she proceeded to tell me that she will be missing the first day of Coachella to get married and half of the second day, I am annoyed and upset because I realize she lied to me.

Two weeks before Coachella she tells me her boyfriend (who she's only been dating for less than a year at this point) is graduating from the Army and she wants to be there... I put the pieces together and realized she lied about the graduation and really she was getting married and the graduation was a cover story.

I was also annoyed because we bought our Coachella tickets months in advance and she wanted me to go without her and be with her cousins who I barely know and don't feel comfortable around. I tell her I will miss the first day too then or even just sell my ticket all together cause I was already getting anxiety about the situation.

When asking me about my thoughts on her engagement I said it may be a little too soon and after the things she's told me about it- sounds like he has issues, I told her how could she marry someone who has yet to meet her family, he has never met anyone in her life- I don't even know what he looks like and it just gave me red flags and I am very overprotective of my friends, especially her because she's very naive with guys and relationships and she's been in my life since 4th grade.

She doesn't reply to me for a few days and I send her an apology saying I overstepped and that I am happy for her I just want to make sure she is making the right choice.

Whatever.

We move past it and she ends up not getting married so we go to Coachella and the vibes are off, it feels awkward and forced, and mind you we have always been the kind of friends who go weeks without talking and months without seeing each other and it is normal the times we do link up, not this time.

On day 0 of Coachella, we finish setting up and start the party by taking shots and drinking claws. We have a moment of normalcy and we start talking like we normally do and then she's glued to her phone, I let her be while I go on my phone, and then she starts crying and telling me her boyfriend just broke up with her and telling her that she doesn't care about him and blah blah blah. I say the usual BFF thing, "Girl screw him we are here at Coachella." She vents to me and I listen with open ears and arms and no judgment.

The next day they're back together and she is making calls for him to get his windshield fixed she makes a comment, "I handle all his appointments, I'm like his little assistant." Which I thought was odd... I mean I do things for my man but I will be damned to ever say I'm like his assistant, NO- I am his partner and as his partner, I will help him in times of need.

Later in the day she starts giving me "tips" on how to get engaged quickly.

"Don't talk back, don't raise your voice, speak when spoken to, don't be too masculine, it worked of me, I got engaged in less than a year."

She says this to me because my boyfriend and I have been together for 7.5 years and aren't engaged and I want to be-but I also understand that my boyfriend and I started dating our senior year of high school and I just recently went back to school to get a degree so it is not the end of the world that I'm 25 and not engaged- I don't know it felt rude of her to say that as if I am not doing enough or doing the "right things" to get engaged.

I cook for my boyfriend

I clean

I help him with his finances

I CAN BE submissive but my boyfriend allows me to have a voice and doesn't mind if I talk back or raise my voice because HE KNOWS that I never spoke up for myself growing up, so he gives me space to speak up for myself- he does not think it is masculine of me to want independence because HE KNOWS that I fear dependency because of my mother and sister who have always depended on a man, I know I can rely on my boyfriend for anything and everything but I rather not because I genuinely love being independent but I do allow space for myself to rely on him and ask for help. I know my boyfriend wishes I would depend on him just to ease some stress on myself.

Anyways that left a sour taste in my mouth but pushed it aside for the remainder of the trip.

In May we planned a trip to Texas with my boyfriend and another friend a week before the trip my bestie sent a text saying she wouldn't be able to make it due to financial reasons- I am an understanding person but we had this trip planned out months in advance but she decided to spend $500+ on her boyfriends birthday gift- I am no one to be checking anyone's pockets but ... she knew about this trip way in advance so why would she do that? I'm left upset because everything was set, I reserved things for all of us to do in Texas and I was unable to get a refund for her ticket experiences. She paid the remainder amount she had on her flight ticket but nothing else.

That was the last I heard from her.

I guess she texts my mom from time to time and I guess she is officially married now and living in Texas- which she used to talk shit about when I was telling her how I wanted to move out there, the main purpose for that Texas trip was so that I can check out the Universities out there and houses. I don't think what I'm feeling is jealousy, because I'm not, I'm just hurt, confused, and annoyed.

Maybe our friendship ran its course and this is what I needed to come to terms with that that??

I don't know. Maybe I'm the asshole and I will eventually be OK with living with that.

I just felt left out.

[calyptrion]

Welp the whole month was basically us working without weekends for 6-8 hours a day so we entering new year with strong desire to run away and hide somewhere in the deep forest or a middle of the big city, maybe to disappear and start new life with new name.

//Us dumping about us meeting Christmas as a system below nothing serious

(A lot of melancholy and some sad thoughts)

Idk life was just too hard last couple of months so today we found ourselves in fully decorated for Christmas home burned out as hell but finally without new work to do. And we had this little conversation abut forests and stuff which was so wholesome and felt so light that I wanted to draw comics about it!

I (Alex) can’t say that I’m a big Christmas or winter fan. In our family It was never an important date, just another reason to receive gifts and see friends. I wasn’t really big "cold days long nights huge poverbills winter" enjoyer neither! But since Mike came along a lot stuff changed.

Sorry for that but before we "met" I didn’t believe people who love winter time with their whole hearts existed but god gives us challenges and sometimes they have form of an extremely obsessed with winter and new year preparations alter who won’t shut up until you buy them this specific gingerbread home fragrance because they “don’t feel like a holiday is coming without it!"

And you know what I am here for it! Mikes love for Christmas time truly feels like magic or at least gives warmth of normal family life that we both never had. And also feeling of another one in system experiencing joy and happiness is the best thing I can think about! I guess this is how It should be: with Christmas eve, hot chocolate and someone who truly enjoys this time around you. And after four years of celebrating together I can say I started loving this holiday too.

[dotspoetrycorner]

Grease Rise of the Pink Ladies Cynthia x OC Part 5

Chapter 5: When I hear music, I just can’t make my feet behave 

Word count:3.4k

Ella’s POV

After the brief time I had to enjoy my lunch, it was off to cheer practice. I actually quite enjoyed cheerleading, something that if you had told me 6 years ago I would have laughed at. But all my friends did it so I picked it up. After practicing a it, or let’s be honest goofing around with Dot, I heard a scream from a little ways away.

“Oh, Richie Valdovinos, you're despicable!” It was Susan. We all ran to see what was wrong and met in the middle of the field with the t-birds.

“What's going on here?” Buddy asked. “I had one soda with him last night to be nice, and now he won't leave me alone. He's stalking me!” Susan explained, although I’m not sure how truthful she’s being.

“She's flipped! She’s been tracking me like a bloodhound all day!” Richie defended. “As if I would chase after a boy like him!” 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

Of course Neil just had to butt in, “It means she doesn't wanna be bothered by any lowlife, dirty greasers. Or their whore sisters.”

One thing led to another, and a fight broke out.

“Stop! Wait!” Jane yelled, where did she even come from? “Richie was telling the truth, I saw it. I was under the bleachers.”

“Well, that figures.” Neil joked. I can’t deal with him anymore.

“Can you not be a jerk for two seconds!” I interjected. All he did was glare at me.

Jane continued, “Richie rejected Susan for a second date, not the other way around. He was a little rude about it.”

“Richie Valdovinos has never even had a second date.” Cynthia chimed in.

Then one of the t-birds said, “Yeah, not with a girl like her.”

I looked at Richie, he was definitely telling the truth. I put my hand on Susan’s arm and said “Susan, someone could get hurt.”

“I may have exaggerated a little.” She finally admitted.

And with that we all went our separate ways.

Counting down the minutes until home economics, the only other time during the day I get to be with my girls, was horrible. But, eventually that bell rang and I made my way over to the classroom. As I was approaching the door, of course, I had to run into Cynthia. We made eye contact for a split second before both looking away. It’s strange, it’s like we both knew we enjoyed spending time together at the drive in last night, and we both knew we used to be best friends, and we both knew we could be again, and yet somehow we’ve spent all day avoiding each other. 

I got in the classroom and sat down next to Dot, starting to listen to the teacher talk “We will be studying cooking, cleaning, rearing children, sewing, and budgeting for the home. What else does the modern woman need to know?” Then Susan just have to stir the pot by saying “I hear Jane could teach us a few things.” The class snickered but the teacher carried on, “I'm going to go grab the tuna from the cafeteria for our Jell-O molds. You may begin your assigned tasks.” Dot and I were tasked with cleaning all the ovens and countertops 

Then, I heard Olivia Valdovinos speak, “You’re right Susan, I think Jane can teach us a few things about those kinds of girls. And its not what you think.” She went on about her cousin in New York who knew Jane and told her Jane was a goody two-shoes who could never do anything bad. From Jane’s confused expression I figured the first part wasn’t true. Olivia found an old record player and started playing music and dancing, just to taunt Susan and Cynthia, Jane, and this girl Nancy immediately joined in. The rest of us looked at each other to really sure what was happening then I looked at Cynthia. She smiled at me and gestured for me to join her, they all looked like they were having so much fun, I’m not sure what came over me but I ran to dance with them. Soon everyone, even Susan was dancing all over the classroom. 

Suddenly, the door burst open and we all stopped. Someone bumped into me, pushing me into Nancy, who had been making something with a sewing machine, making the needle go right through her finger. Susan blamed the whole ordeal on Olivia, Jane, Cynthia, and Nancy, sending them to the principals office. I also got sent for being the reason Nancy got hurt.

[sillygooseassociation]

for the jru blurb thing: telling the kids they are having a sibbling. i need deets!

omg i feel like this could be a whole fic, maybe i’ll make a formal thing later, idk

in the JRU timeline, you and jason are engaged a couple months after your two year anniversary, at this point, the kids are 8 and 10. they met you 6 months after you and jason started dating and they love you from the beginning. you truly are the other half of jason, you compliment each other so well that the kiddos just instantly vibe with you. jason doesn’t ask them for their permission to propose to you but more so “how would you feel if y/n and i got married? your mom is always your mom, you’d just have extra love and she would be in our family. is that okay with you?”

the kids are just kinda dumbfounded like “i thought y/n was already in our family?” which of course makes jason fucking cry himself to sleep that night while you just hold him. anywho, they were so excited then when you got engaged because omg you’re gonna officially be their bonus mom! so when you find out four months later that you’re seven weeks pregnant, you’re not super nervous to tell the kids.

you know they love you (daisy asks you at least three times a week if it’s the day of your wedding despite you telling her y’all haven’t even chosen a date). so there’s not worries there, however, the two of them have been best friends for literally as long as each of them can remember. what if they don’t want to add someone to the mix? or what if they think you’ll love the baby more because the baby will be your “real” kid and they aren’t (which is absolute bullshit of course).

your anxiety brain and pregnancy hormones fuel your mind with these thoughts, leading to an anxiety attack and jason helping you to work through it. you thought about doing a cute announcement for the kids but with your anxiety, the two of you decide to just sit them down and tell them the exciting news.

“so, you know how y/n is joining our family?” the kiddos eagerly nod their heads, they’re legit so excited, it’s adorable. your anxiety calms enough that you continue for jason, “well, how would you feel about someone else joining our family too?” daisy and otis look at each other super confused before otis gasps, “ARE WE GETTING A PUPPY???” you and jason have absolutely no clue how your eardrums didn’t burst.

both of you chuckle, jason putting his hand on otis’s knee to try and bring him back down to earth, “no, not a puppy buddy, but maybe that’s something to consider based on that response.” jason looks at you with a smirk, you had been begging him for y’all to get a dog since you moved in a year ago, the smug bastard keeps denying you (little do you know it’s because he wants to get a puppy around the time you have the baby so that all the kids can have a built in new best friend, he’s such a fucking romantic it’s almost disgusting).

daisy just looks at you with wondering eyes, sure she would also love a puppy, but what are you talking about? she climbs into your lap, still small enough that she fits perfectly as she lays her head on your shoulder and plays with your hair, “who’s gonna join our family, y/n?”. you smile sweetly at her, then looking to otis, who is just as intrigued. taking a deep breath, you take jason’s hand into yours, “well, you two are going to have a baby sibling.”

you would have thought santa just stopped by to hand deliver presents based on how they react (lol). otis is running around the room, cheering, while daisy sits up in your lap, trying to hug both you and jason at the same time, though her little arms struggle with the reach. after a couple of minutes, otis calms down, sitting in jason’s lap, mirroring daisy on your lap as you sit next to jason.

“so, i take it you’re happy about the news?” daisy nods her head vigorously while otis looks at his dad like he’s stupid, “well, duh!” you smile brightly at your family, tears running down your face, which daisy quickly notices, “what, are you okay?” you nod at her as you wipe away your tears, jason rubbing your back, “she’s okay dais, y/n is crying because she’s so happy, not because she’s sad.”

daisy gasps, looking to otis as if she just found out the end of the world is coming, “wait! but the baby is gonna call y/n mom, won’t it confuse the baby that we call you y/n?” your heart flutters just a bit, this girl was so inquisitive, it made you so proud and she was already caring about the baby. you shake your head, “no, i’m sure it’ll be okay, daisy girl. i don’t want you to feel like you have to call me anything different just because a baby is on the way. i love you two just as much as i love the baby, no matter what you call me.”

daisy sheepishly looks to otis who plays with his fingers as he nervously speaks up, “but what if we want to call you something else?” the air hitches in your throat, even more tears coming to your eyes as jason smiles softly, watching the whole interaction. you smile at otis before looking to daisy who is already staring at you with big doe eyes like her father’s, “th-that would be perfectly alright with me.”

daisy clears her throat, playing with the ends of your hair for comfort, “well, we already have a mom. what if you were our mama?” cleared your throat to push back a sob that wanted to leave your mouth, looking over to see jason crying as well. you look back to the kids, placing one hand on daisy’s back and grabbing otis’s hand with your other one, “i would be so so happy to be your mama.” both kids smile brightly, laughing giddily before jumping off your laps and running to the other room to play.

jason pulls you closer by the hip, placing a kiss on the top of your head as you snuggle into his side, “i’d say that went well.” you nod softly as you wipe away your tears, “no offense bubs, but that was better than you proposing to me.” jason let’s out a loud laugh as he nods, laying his head atop yours, “fair enough, baby.”

[writteninthesewalls28]

Family

A story about a girl wanting to find out the truth

A/n: chapter seven!

Warnings: mentions of death

Milly’s POV:

After a full night of sleep with Calum next to me, I woke up the next morning, pretty relaxed. With the soft smell of vanilla, probably still from the scented candles we put on yesterday, I got out of the cuddly bed after noticing that Calum wasn’t next to me anymore. Every once a week, he gets up before me, carefully, so he doesn’t wake me up, and prepares breakfast with the things I love the most: pancakes, breakfast tea (yes, I am a full brit when it’s about that), honey, peanut butter and fresh fruits. It is a tradition we picked up from Calums mum, who did it for him and his sister when they were little. I, sadly, never got to experience that since my mum had to work a lot during mine, Louis' and Félicité's childhood. When we were older, we sometimes tried doing it for the younger kids, but 3 to 4 teenagers (ages 14-17) in a kitchen is not working out in the slightest. You simply couldn’t call the pancakes pancakes because they were burnt half of the time. But we had fun doing it and it helped keeping the mood up in the rainy Doncaster.

As soon as I stepped out of the bedroom door, I already heard Calum moving and working in the kitchen. When he saw me entering the room, he gave me a sweet smile and I myself felt like the honey he put on the table at that moment. How can someone be that perfect?

"Good morning beautiful!" He greeted me and gave a quick kiss on the cheek while carefully turning around the delicious looking pancakes in the pan.

"Morning, thanks for doing all this." I said, not really knowing how to thank him for all the extra work he does, just for me.

"Oh, no need to thank me, I love making you happy!" My Calum. He’s simply the best. "Come on, sit down princess, I'll do the work today!"

————————————

After the long but definitely good breakfast, me and Cal spent some time talking about upcoming events.

"We’re putting together a tour list at the moment. Should I show it to you, so you can think about coming to some of them?" Calum knew, I‘d love to just come with the boys on tour, but my job of course didn’t allow me a break of 6 months, so I‘m always very involved in the tour planning with the boys, to get to see them at least 3 times.

"Yes, I'd love that. By the way, how’s the album, how many songs do you have?" Calum and I are both very introverted and private about our job life, so even though we understand each other blind, we mostly don’t really have that much knowledge about one another’s job.

"We got around 5 songs where we are pretty sure, we’re gonna put them on the album they’re simply amazing." He sighed. "But other than that, we seem to have a lack of inspiration at the moment. All of us." It felt good to have a complete platonic talk with him, not even wasting a single thought about the whole googling-the-names thing because if I'm being honest I am kind of scared about that. I'd rather just not do it and pretend it isn’t even there.

Before I could answer Calum, we heard the doorbell ring. We looked at each other. "Did the boys say, they want to come today?" I whispered at Calum. He just shook his head as a response.

Slowly making my way to the door, I wondered who'd have the idea to visit us at a Tuesday morning at 10 am. Opening the door, the familiar face of an irish person, wearing one of his beloved cardigans in a soft baby blue and his strong accent when he said:

"Missed me?" Made me jump into his arms, screaming because of how happy I was to finally get the chance to see my best friend again.

"Nialler!! I missed you so much!"

Me and Niall definitely do have some history. As soon as Louis got put into 1D and the five lads started to hang out more, I of course also met them, shortly before I went to Australia for the exchange year, and immediately became best friend with Niall. You know, these weird people where you think, they have to be dating because they act so couple-like, but are actually just best friends? Yeah, that’s us. I remember having a very exhausting 30-minutes talk with Louis just because he was convinced I was hiding the fact from him that I was dating his friend Niall (which I‘d never even dare to do, he would’ve killed me) and then couldn’t believe we literally were JUST friends.

I really hope no one ever finds these chaotic photos from 2013 on my phone where I was on tour with them. Me and Niall used to cause so many problems and make the most chaotic things ever, but it was the best time of my life, even now.

"Why are you here though?" I asked after letting go of him. He looked at me with a huge grin on his face, showing he loves being with me as much as I do.

"I haven’t seen y'all in too long and since I do not have anything to do at the moment, I thought why not visit my bestie and her Australian boyfriend in this little city called Adelaide." Calum approached us from behind laying his arm around my shoulder.

"Not to mention that we just talked yesterday." He said, earning a confused look from me.

"I sent him songs." Calum informed me. I pouted.

"I didn’t even got to hear them, but you are showing them to my bestie?“ I asked. Niall simply couldn’t stop laughing, he wasn’t used to the daily banter me and Calum had whenever other people were around since he wasn’t visiting us that often, mostly also busy with touring, songwriting and promoting new stuff.

But that only made me even happier he was there right now.

"Come inside!“ I said to him, stepping away from the doorstep, to let him in our house.

The break I took from work, originally for other reasons, was the best idea ever. I got to catch up with Niall and we talked about the last year that we haven’t seen each other. Currently, all of my musician friends - which are basically all of my friends - are working on albums and preparing a world tour, also including Niall. He’s writing songs, already played some for me, and is gonna call his second album 'Heartbreak Weather' because of his breakup last summer, his songs representing his feelings to different times during the relationship.

"And how are you?" He asked me, after he literally talked for over 1 and a half hours about himself and how he’s doing. But I totally appreciated it, catching up with my friends, especially with him, was something I always enjoyed.

"I'm… good." I said, not sure, if I'd upset another important person in my life with breaking the current news to him. So that sentence seemed to describe my current state pretty perfectly.

Niall raised his eyebrows, immediately seeing through my lie, simply debating if he should say something about it. He decided to just let me go with it right now.

"Okay, that’s amazing!" In this moment, Calum entered the living room again, sitting down exactly in the same spot as yesterday when I came home and had that horrible conversation with Lou. For a moment, I couldn’t focus on what the two of them were talking about. I got lost in my thoughts, having a flashback from yesterday, how Cal comforted me, understanding how much Louis words hurt me. Is Louis okay now? Is he still angry? I stared at the spot on the comfy couch and stopped breathing for a second.

"Milly?" Calum said, waving both of his hands in front of my face.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I responded, snapping out of the weird situation I was in seconds ago. I was completely unsure and also scared what just happened, it felt like, someone held me underwater and I couldn’t break out of it.

Both of the men looked at me with a both worried and concerned look in their face.

"Are you okay? You are really pale." Calum said, softly placing his warm hand on my shoulder. Was there fear in his eyes?

"I'm not feeling so good right now, I’m gonna go upstairs for a bit." Seeing the worried look Calum gave me as he let me go, I added: "Don’t worry, I just forgot to take my medicine this morning." Which was the truth, I indeed forgot to take my pills to make sure my blood pressure stays okay and I don’t faint all of a sudden, but I never got this weird feeling from not taking them.

Cal's POV:

Of course he was worried when he saw her go up the stairs in a very slow pace, also scared she’s gonna faint on the stairs. But Niall asked him a way more important question in the mean time, he couldn’t seem to ignore.

"Why are both of you acting so strange? Please don’t tell me it’s nothing, I know there is something going on."

As much as he felt like ignoring this would be the best idea, his inner voice didn’t stop telling him that if he’d talk to Niall about Milly’s father’s death, everything will get a little easier, he won’t have to handle the whole situation and his knowledge completely on his own. Someone else would know.

"Milly is searching for her biological parents." All of the color in Nialls face who was sitting right beside him, suddenly vanished and he nearly got as pale as Milly was before she went upstairs.

"Oh no…. How is Louis?" Niall seemed to know that he doesn’t have to worry about his best friend, Calum would take care of her. But he knew Louis better than anyone else, he’s too protective to just not care.

"He and Milly had a fight on the phone yesterday, she was away for 8 hours and forgot to answer her phone while visiting the empty house of her biological parents." Calum explained the poor situation between the two siblings. He continued telling him about everything else Milly went through yesterday, not leaving out a single detail, and Niall got more and more uncomfortable on the sofa. When he finished a awkward silences stood between them, like a wall was built up in the middle of the sofa, Niall being the first to break it.

"And you? You seem to deal with something too." Calum definitely was surprised Niall also noticed that, since Calum tried hiding it pretty successfully in front of Milly, as much as he could tell.

"Well…" He tried thinking about a more gentle way of explaining his misery to Niall, but didn’t get a single idea. "I googled their names. I know I shouldn’t have done that since Milly basically forbid me to do anything without her consent, but I just need to protect her you know?" He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I found a obituary. And-" His voice cracked, he didn’t know how to finish this sentence, why he even started it in the first place.

Niall placed both of his hands on Calum shoulders.

"What happened?" Calum could easily spot the fear in Nialls tone.

"And it said that her father died right before her birth, that’s probably why she was adopted." He finally said it out loud. How relieved he felt. He finally got to say it.

But Niall obviously wasn’t very happy about that piece of information.

"He’s dead?" He asked one more time, getting a little nod from Calum. Milly really didn’t deserve this. She is such an amazing girl who is already dealing with so much in her life, death sadly being an important part of it. He'd love to just hide it from her for forever and make sure she never finds out, just to protect her.

"You have to tell her." Niall then said, much to Calum’s surprise.

"But Niall, do you understand this? He died, Milly maybe won't recover from another death in her family!" He tried explaining it to his old friend with a desperate tone in his voice.

"But what do you think will she do if she finds out, he boyfriend knew all along? Be happy that you tried 'protecting' her? She’s not gonna appreciate your concern for her, not this time Calum!" He got louder and louder, causing Calum to bring more space between them by sitting back a bit. He knew, Niall was right, he already felt it last night that his decision isn’t the best. But something in Calum still made him believe that this is the best way of dealing with the current situation.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[themculibrary]

Jimmy Woo Masterlist

A Damn Good Team (ao3) - Enigmaforum T, 1k

Summary: They weren’t the Avengers but they were a damn good team all the same.

They could do this. They would do this.

First meet contact. Second save Darcy.

Beyond Our Control (ao3) - cluelessrebel1988 T, 2k

Summary: An extended scene with Monica and Jimmy during and after the events at the end of WandaVision episode 6

Breaking All The Rules (ao3) - DGCatAniSiri scott/jimmy G, 1k

Summary: Jimmy is in Scott Lang's bed. That's really not how this is supposed to work.

choreography (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 9k

Summary: The alpha stood carefully by the biggest window in Scott’s house, keeping his hands to himself. Fate had just decided to fuck with Scott in a major way and the only comfort Scott could take from the mess was that Agent Jimmy Woo looked as freaked out as Scott was. Of course the first perfectly compatible alpha Scott had ever met in nearly five decades of his life on earth would be his goddamned case officer.

first date (ao3) - ChookTingle scott/jimmy M, 2k

Summary: Scott finally asks Jimmy out then turns up late for their first date. This doesn't end even half as badly as he expected.

First Move (ao3) - calatoria darcy/jimmy T, 3k

Summary: Post-Hex, Darcy and Jimmy keep dancing around each other. Who makes the first move?

Green Tea Panna Cotta with Cookie Crumble and Brûléed Plums (ao3) - derevko_child phil/melinda G, 3k

Summary: They both smell like they just came out of a coffee shop but Coulson smells like coffee and May smells like tea, and if twenty years ago, someone tells him that one day, he’ll be sitting in between the two of them, eating Chinese takeout for dinner, knees touching, watching tv and bantering like old friends, he’d probably think they’re crazy

Agent Jimmy Woo gets a surprise visit from old friends.

Hints (ao3) - amitiel, RikuKingdomHearts3 darcy/jimmy G, 1k

Summary: Darcy realizes that she has a crush on Jimmy so she figures that she'll drop some hints and get them talking about it so she can properly tell him. After all, no one can be THAT dense... right?

Normal People (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 43k

Summary: “Dating is a security risk,” Phil said. He patted Jimmy companionably on the shoulder as he said it.

Jimmy pointedly shrugged off Phil’s hand. “Seriously? Is this really the time?”

Phil shaded his eyes against the sun. They were both wrapped heavily in parkas, knee-deep in snow a couple of miles out from Mt. Lussari village. Nothing but brilliant blue sky, mountains, and the wreckage of a military plane with all the bodies suspiciously missing. “It’s always a good time. Especially if you insist on using unsecured apps.”

Only in a Sitcom (ao3) - ForASecondThereWedWon darcy/jimmy T, 26k

Summary: Darcy has no idea what the hell's going on with this WandaVision thing, but neither does Jimmy. It's kinda fun to have somebody to binge-watch alternate reality TV with.

Initiative (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 6k

Summary: “Hello again,” Scott said, as cheerfully as he could.

Standing by the holographic deck in the middle of the shiny new Situation Room in the shiny new HQ for ATLAS, Jimmy stared at Scott. “Did you need something else, Mister Lang?”

Scott winced. The past year since the Ghost Incident hadn’t changed Agent Jimmy Woo much. Same wary expression, as though Scott was going to cart off the TV if Jimmy turned his back. Jimmy was still looked perfectly folded into his black suit with the neat tie, his collar pressed to sharp edges. “No uh. Just want to say. I’m happy to be here?”

jurisdiction (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 5k

Summary: “Let’s say that I met someone kinda cute,” Scott said as he and Luis sat down for tacos in Taqueria El Farolito, hunched over their burritos against the bright yellow and orange wall. “But we didn’t meet in the best of circumstances, and they probably hate me. How would I fix things?”

never the wrong card (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 4k

Summary: Scott peeked in. He was a little late thanks to traffic. On a quick sweep of the place, he thought for a moment that whoever he was meeting was also late. Or had stood Scott up. No such luck. In the corner of the restaurant, checking his phone, was a guy in a suit with a white tulip pinned to his lapel.

Huh. Scott felt a little embarrassed for snipping a wildflower off the sidewalk now, but he’d genuinely forgotten about the flower thing until he was on his way. He sidled over to the table and sat down. “Paxton’s friend?” Scott asked, then added awkwardly, “er, hi.”

superheroes (ao3) - manic_intent scott/jimmy E, 7k

Summary: “Just gimme the chicken soup,” Scott said, once Agent Woo ran out of breath.

Woo blinked and handed over the plastic soup container. It was lukewarm to the touch and smelled rich and oily and herby in a way Scott didn’t recognise. Strange wrinkly red raisin-like things floated on the surface among odd white shards, and the chicken was a weird charcoal colour through the clear plastic lid. “Err. Is this really chicken soup?” Scott asked, trying his best not to sound suspicious and failing.

“It’s obviously chicken soup,” Woo said, a little defensively.

the mistimed bing (ao3) - Siria scott/jimmy T, 3k

Summary: “Oh, whoa, okay, wait, hold up.” Scott came to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk, clutching his bag of tacos to his chest. “I think he actually was asking me out.”

Wooing Bruce (ao3) - Blizzard_Fire jimmy/bruce T, 2k

Summary: Jimmy performs card tricks to calm Hulk down. In the year that follows, he and Bruce get to know each other.

[insomniaink95]

Don't hold your tongue to avoid conflict. Be an open ally to trans folk. You never know who in your posse needs to hear that message.

Several years ago, before I first really started using twitter or got active on social media at all, I would go to regular weekly game sessions where I would play TTRPGs with friends. This was back when I treated most of my characters as "support" and did my best to not role-play as role-playing made my social anxiety bite into my brain with its sharp venomous fangs.

One summer night after the game was done, when we were all hanging around outside for a bit and enjoying the unusual cool breeze before going our separate ways. An old friend who was visiting home from another state, and who was always eager to bring up topics that would make people interrogate themselves and their beliefs, posed a hypothetical question to our group of guys…

"What would you do if you were in a long term relationship with a woman, the love of your life, whom you were engaged to, the wedding date approaching… and she admitted to you that she was transgender and had been afraid to tell you because she didn't want to lose what the two of you had built?"

It was a good question for a group of (seemingly) young cis hetero guys to be asked back in the early 2010s. Most of my friends didn't really want to say anything and made noncommittal grunts to express that they were thinking about the question… but it was clear they were uncomfortable with the shame that could come with answering the "wrong" way and believed that either answer could be seen as shameful and would affect them socially.

This was back when my social anxiety was near its peak, so I want you to understand that I didn't really want to say anything either. I used to be much more conflict averse than I am now as well, but I had known one of the friends for my ENTIRE life, one that I knew since the moment they were born when I was 2 years old, one that I met when I was 6 years old, and the one I had the least history with who was a friend of a friend I had been around for about a decade but only sparsely within that decade.

My brain hadn't been constantly awash in gallons of adrenaline and cortisol for over a decade and a half, so while I still had the debilitating social anxiety, the extreme hyper-vigilance in social situations I experienced with it had faded over time. I was among friends. I shrugged and replied, still in a slightly noncommittal way with, "What difference does it make?" The guy I had only known sparsely for a decade stated roughly, "Nah, of course I would break up with him. He lied to me, there's no excusing that."

I had grown up on the internet during the early 2000's, mostly in and around the furry art scene, and it had shaped the way I thought about basically every actual meaningful thing I valued as a person and had affected who I WAS as a person in a massive way. That, added to the things I experienced back in school laid the groundwork of me developing into someone who was very passionate when it came to things like fairness, gaslighting, empathy, bigotry, reactionaries, greed… I could go on. So despite being held back by the nasty social anxiety and being quite conflict averse, I was also extremely passionate. It could've gone either way, 50/50 chance. I could've stayed quiet easily but I feel like my brain had a "Harry Dubois rolling a stat check moment" and it was a success.

I replied roughly, "You're saying your hypothetical fiancee, the love of your life, was right to be afraid of how you would react to her telling you she's transgender? And after the time you'd spent together and the love you'd shared you would just throw it all away?"

His response was roughly, "Should have told me up front. It's only right."

So I asked roughly, "So you're saying if she had told you up front you would've had a relationship and become engaged before getting married and everything would've been fine?"

His response was a definitive, "No!"

I replied roughly, "So knowing that one fact about the person who would develop into the love of your life, your fiance, would, if she told you up front, prevent you from ever wanting to get to know the love of your life, and if she waited until a later point in the relationship to tell you it would remove all value of your relationship with her in your eyes and you would dump her when the wedding was imminent?"

No response from him but I stated flatly, "That's fucked up."

He said, "It's my decision."

I replied, "Yup. Fucked up decision."

He said roughly, "That's how I feel, should've told me, and it's my decision."

I replied, "Okay. I'm just saying that's REALLY fucked up."

The conversation ended and he left shortly after that and then the rest of us dispersed and I didn't think about it again for roughly a decade.

Flash forward roughly a decade… A friend who was present within that group that day came out to me as trans. I had no idea. After we finished talking I did what everyone does when someone comes out as a different gender, different sexuality, that they're a furry, or that they're a porn artist, and you didn't have a clue. I looked back at the time we spent together and tried to see if there were any signals I could've picked up on. There weren't. She had spent her entire life up until that point keeping it a secret from everyone. I was no further than the third person she had told and the first person who had been told without it being a necessity. And then I remembered that discussion where I butted heads with the other guy. And I realized that what I said that day was probably important for her to hear at that time. I realized what she would've felt like if EVERYONE had remained silent too. Hearing what I said probably let her know that even here in hicktown she had at least one person she could confide in some day. That may well have been why I was the first person she told without necessity.

So yeah, in summation: "Don't hold your tongue to avoid conflict. Be an open ally to trans folk. You never know who in your posse needs to hear that message."