#as per usual I think I’m hilarious

[primal-con]

Here’s how Earthspark Jazzwave can still win!! Aka I haven’t been able to stop thinking about girl Jazz in ES since @fanficmaniatic’s post about her and now I’ve got brainrot for she/her bisexual Jazz and he/him lesbian Soundwave (is delusional) :’//

[persephoneggsy]

Another AU I think about a lot but haven’t talked about before is my Warden Fergus Cousland AU

Basically he manages to make it to Denerim before the Landsmeet and reunites with his baby sister, and Riordan convinced him to become a Grey Warden bc they need all the help they can get (even though Fiora, Fergus’s sister, doesn’t want him to go through the Joining for several obvious reasons).

And because he’s the newest Warden, Morrigan goes to him about doing the dark ritual. He isn’t sure he trusts this ritual, but Morrigan says it’s a way to save his sister’s life… so he agrees. It probably helps that A) he doesn’t know much about Morrigan but he knows that Fiora considers her a dear friend, and B), homeboy is pretty desperate to save the last bit of family he has left so he’ll do whatever it takes.

He’s not sure about having a child again, so soon after Oren and Oriana. Morrigan says he won’t have to worry about it, but that almost makes him feel worse. He feels like he failed as a father once already, and now he’s not even going to be present in this one’s life?

Anyway, the ritual works, his sister slays the Archdemon, is confused as to why she didn’t die (though she and Alistair are, of course, happy about that), and maybe Fergus will tell them one day. For now, he has to contend with being a Warden and the rightful Teryn of Highever, two things that weren’t meant to coincide. More pressingly, he thinks of Morrigan often, wondering if she had the baby, if she’s truly alright.

When Fiora sends him news that Morrigan’s been spotted, he almost surprises himself with how quickly he volunteers to go find her. After all, Fiora is busy ruling a nation now.

He finds Morrigan, who tells him she’s had the child and that he’s safe, and then Fergus makes a decision: he wants to go with her and meet his child. Morrigan hesitates, but ultimately agrees. Fergus leaves behind some kind of message for Fiora so she knows he’s okay, then he goes through the eluvian with Morrigan.

They’re not quite… together, but as they coparent Kieran, they start to bond. Eventually, they fall in love.

[eternal-moss]

When it comes to Farcille, most people talk about either the resurrection & subsequent bathhouse scene, or post-canon. But not many people talk about this moment from pre-canon which I think can be read with romantic connotations pretty easily

This isn’t much in the way of evidence per se, but Falin’s expression here is unusual compared to how she usually looks. Something about it feels…. gay to me lol

This 100% reads like someone introducing a partner to their family. Falin is normally pretty blushey as a default look to her face, but it’s obvious that she’s pretty excited about it, which Laios states himself

THIS MOMENT!! Possessive Marcille!! She’s never usually this forward but in this moment Marcille is pissed. Mainly because she likes to coddle Falin, and also probably wishful thinking that Falin was happier at magic school (and while meeting Marcille did make Falin slightly happier, she was pretty outcast & it doesn’t seem to be somewhere she enjoyed much. She ran away partly because she was worried about Laios, but also she never liked it much there in the first place), hence Marcille’s insistence to bring Falin back later on. That does actually happen I just didn’t add the panels

I’m sure there was genuine concern for Falin’s (presumed lack of) agency in running away, and actually considering the magic school to be better for Falin, but also Marcille is known for wanting control over certain things and probably just wanted Falin with her, from a selfish perspective & also to ‘protect’ her.

Anyway, then Falin bursts into the scene, and the whole ‘it’s not his fault’ looks so much like one of those ‘it’s not what it looks like!!’ romantic tropes, so much so that the crowd assume it to be a lovers spat lmao

Falin downplays how excited she was to see Marcille (and also because the situation is pretty tense) by saying ‘It’s been a while huh?” pretty casually.

“What we’re you thinking?” “…. Do you have any idea how worried I was?” I love these lines, they’re so Marcille. The way she snaps from furious to soft to furious again shows just how much she cares about Falin.

And then this final moment in the dungeon is so hilarious to me because it totally feels like the trope of ‘person trying to impress their love interest’ and goes just about as well as those sorts of schemes tend to work lol

[buskingalbatross]

AmazingPhil channel marathon musings

during a pre-show q&a back in november, in response to a question about what show someone should binge next, dan said they should watch all of the AmazingPhil channel from the start. I was not the person who asked this (nor was I at this show), but regardless I did decide I wanted to take dan’s suggestion seriously. just a few days ago, I finished watching all of AmazingPhil in chronological order. and now i really want to talk about what it was like and why I would recommend marathoning his channel to pretty much anyone—because it was a blast.

I watched all of the 369 currently public AmazingPhil videos over the course of 35 days, which is from my perspective a pretty casual marathon. 369/35 = roughly 11 videos a day, though due to algorithm and monetization policy stuff, phil’s videos became longer in duration around 2015-2016; for many years, most of his videos were around 4 minutes long or less, which for me meant that early on in this marathon I was watching more videos per day, and then later on my pace slowed. phil’s videos with dan are usually pretty long as well, so if I had something like a baking video or wdapteo up next to watch, I might have only watched one or two videos that day. 

unsurprisingly, watching all of phil’s videos in order in a relatively short span of time gave me a really cool perspective on how phil has grown as a person and as a YouTuber over the past eighteen years. surprising to me, though, was how I felt like watching his channel in such a linear way felt a bit like coming to know who phil is for the very first time, again. despite having watched his videos for over a decade, i feel like i understand his style and creativity and personality more fully, and in general better, than I did before. watching 2007 phil become 2009 phil become 2011 phil and so on in the span of a few days or a week meant seeing clearly how his sense of humor evolved, how his editing and creativity developed, how his perspectives on life and relationship with his audience shifted. much as when you binge an entire tv or book series and immediately afterwards feel like you’re brimming with information, and have all the context, that’s sort of how I felt. and it was new for me because I’d never done that with phil’s content before—I’d never followed the course of his life the way you might a fictional character’s. 

AmazingPhil is also an incredible capsule of 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s Western internet culture, obviously. it’s like an anthropologist from the future with a very hyperspecific thesis topic’s dream treasure horde. what a person can learn about one corner of the world, and one corner of society, from AmazingPhil’s videos is, well, a lot. I see so much cultural value in AmazingPhil, it’s insane. his videos are not sketches, essays, and commentaries on society and life like Dan’s, but I’d make the argument (as I’m sure most of you would) that they’re just as important and critical to helping people understand themselves and the world they live in. and the kind of people they want to be, too, perhaps.

there were also certain videos that stuck with me more than they had in the past. I discovered new favorite videos and videos that I considered more interesting than I previously had. (I tried just now to make a list of some of these but it rapidly got too long, so instead I’ll restrict myself to mentioning only one, a new favorite, from 2021: “I Got Catfished.” - which i think is a fantastic example of phil’s storytelling style). dnp have both said before that they view life as a performance – and phil is without a sliver of doubt a magical and incredible performer. he knows so well how to tell stories with words, pacing, structures, and effects that are hilarious and entertaining; he turns anecdotes from his life into these amazing whimsical pieces of art made in a way no other person has ever made things. YouTube has from the beginning presented him with the perfect way to be creative in a way that suits him. and more than that, i found that it was never even remotely unpleasant to watch his videos every day for over a month. there is simply not an AmazingPhil video that doesn’t bring me joy and make me sit there smiling like a fool. my cheek muscles are probably stronger than they were 35 days ago. 

so, to you I say, go: watch all of AmazingPhil, draw your own conclusions from his current oeuvre and deepen your parasocial relationship with Phil Lester in ways you cannot yet comprehend. I really recommend. 

(final notes: one side effect of watching all of phil’s videos was being unexpectedly yet thoroughly convinced he does indeed possess psychic talents. even though i don’t believe in magical anything, i do now believe phil lester inherited prescience from his grandmother.) 

(also dan is completely right that every time phil changes his hair, he regenerates into an entirely new man.)

(also also I made an AmazingPhil spotify playlist that is highly specific to my music tastes but that anyone is welcome to listen to all the same) ✨🐗💙🥱

[ladyelissarose]

Can you do like Hobie smut, your writing is GOOD.

Let it be a jealousy kinda thing I haven't seen much of Hobie being jealous

‘I’ll Show You Jealous’

Hobie Brown aka Spider-Punk x female spider-woman reader. (he calls her ‘webs’)

Trope; best friends to lovers

Warnings; 18+ Smut! NSFW. Jealous sex, it starts quite rough then ends soft. Hobie being Hobie- but jealous ;) slight fingering.. mostly smut y’all .

Summary: Being best friends shouldn’t have any feelings in between right? Especially jealousy when Hobie thinks your hanging around too close to a certain Spider-Man? What does it take for him to come to terms on how he ‘really’ feels?

Authors note; My favorite anon!! I’m sorry it took me a few days to get this out, but I’m glad to say it’s all yours now! I hope you like it, I’ve never written for Hobie before!! Enjoy love!!🫶🏼🌻

“You see? That’s why I think you’re one of the funniest! You’re hilarious and you get my humor!”

An effortless chuckle left your lips as your hand slipped off of Ben Riley’s back, where it had been first when you patted it.

You two had just come back from a short mission, which was as per usual… putting an anomaly where it belonged, and making sure canon took place as it should. Hobie stood in the distance watching you both communicate so freely and happily, like if you had been best friends, like you were with Hobie. I mean, that’s all you too should of been.. best friends.

But in the pit of his stomach and behind his tough and sarcastic behavior about not liking commitment, all he wanted to do was commit his life to you, and make you more than his ‘best friend’. The only thing was.. he didn’t know how to tell or show you. So painfully he witnessed you give away your laughter and touch to someone else, if not others that weren’t him. So to avoid staring at this heartbreak, he went back to his universe.

Soon you had let Ben go and looked for the one that made you smile the biggest, warm your heart, and give you a certainty of safety and care no matter what crazy shit you two did. But, he was no where to be seen. A frown made it to your lips after you had checked everywhere, you even went up to Miguel’s lair to check if Hobie wasn’t lurking around and stealing his lunch- and yet, he wasn’t there. You sat for a minute and thought that maybe he went home, but… he always waited for you to come back from a mission, so you could eat together and go on a short ‘joy swinging’ across the universes.

Hoping you’d find him at his universe, you clicked on your gizmo and went to his place, falling in love with the aesthetic of it all as you arrived, and it reminding you of every detail about Hobie too. You swung around his home- he wasn’t there. At his favorite hideout clubhouse- he wasn’t there. Even stopped by the stand where he usually took a sweet bread or two without being seen- he wasn’t in sight. Finally stopping to take a break, you thought for a few seconds before it clicked for you.

“What the hell… where could you- oh! I know.”

What concerned you though about the place where he could possibly be, was the fact that you told each other that you’d go there if something was wrong or ‘a talk’ needed to happen, meaning it was very serious.

Upon arriving to the tallest skyscraper in your universe, you let out a sigh of relief as you found him there, playing a soft tune on his guitar.

You walked slowly towards him, knowing he’d feel your presence, as his spider senses would tell him immediately. You slid off your mask as you called out,

“Hobie?-“

Hobie’s shoulders tensed as he muttered immediately,

“Jus’ leave me be… please?”

Worry but you as you heard him, his slightly broken voice,

He’s never told you to leave him alone, instead the opposite, always subtly begging you to be around his presence, whether it was him lurking around with your favorite snack, or playing your favorite songs on his guitar. Hobie was smart, he found out ways to keep you around that didn’t include him actually telling or asking you to be… and so far it has worked like magic.

It was your smile that had him loosening up, the little squeals you let out when Mayday was being extra adorable, puppy eyes at the sight of kittens or his favorite of all time, your mere presence that gave him motive to fall for you.

With you he felt free and safe, he knew he’d give up an entire universe if that meant he could be with you. But lately as you’ve been given more privileges, you’ve been a little too absent for his liking, and he didn’t appreciate how you were hanging around Miguel and Ben Riley more than him.

Trust was something you too have built quite strongly sense the start of your friendship, and he should’ve confided in that trust and believe that you haven’t ghosted him for someone else… yet here he was… sadly plucking on his guitar strings to your favorite tune- ‘Vigilante Shit’… thinking that maybe you have.. but here you are. Speaking out to him as if you were desperate for him.

“Hobie please, I can help-“

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

With a scoff you recalled your guys’ words,

“We said we’d come here for something important.. and today I couldn’t find you anywhere.. so I thought this would be the place.. and here you are. So, what’s wrong Hobie?”

He then stood up and mumbled to himself,

“It’s nothing, I shouldn’t of come.”

Your spider senses heard him clearly tho, so before he was about to walk off you genuinely said,

“Hobie.. you know I’m here for you. Regardless of what it is.”

Hobie turned to you and walked close, watching how you didn’t walk back but stayed in place as his sassed,

“Are you sure? Didn’t think you’d be after being with everyone else all the time.”

You sensed his words, and could feel the weight of jealousy in them, it only caused you to realize that he felt just as protective of you, as you did for him… but you hid your jealousy better. So you took the chance to tease him,

“Are you jealous Hobie Brown-“

Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms he pouted defensively,

“No. Absolutely not-“

You tried to tease him more as you pushed the guitar on his shoulder,

“Then what’s wrong? Looks like you are jealous-“

He sent a playful snap at you so you wouldn’t touch his treasure as he did his best to reassure,

“Tis’ nothin’ webs… I promise.”

His closed off attitude told you it was more than nothing, and you wouldn’t have it.. not his half or full lies about what’s going on. Hobie was about to walk away past you, but you grabbed his arm and insisted,

“Hobie! If you don’t do or say something about what’s going on with you I will explo- MMPH!!”

His warm hands got a hold of your face, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips. Eyes going wide open at the shock his actions caused you, but you couldn’t pull yourself away.

Not when you could see the way he had his shut with force, and the how his long lashes that you were always jealous of brush over his cheeks… you couldn’t deny how much you loved every detail about him. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of the cool of his nose ring press up against your nose, and his soft breathing hitting you, his lip ring marking a place on your lip as he gave you a bruising kiss.

You didn’t realize how long it took you admiring what you’ve always loved about him before you reciprocated the kiss, brining him closer to you by the collar of his jacket. But he slightly pushed you away, and before you could interpret something wrong, he muttered against your lips,

“you think I’m jealous webs?”

With a short chuckle you replied with sass,

“I think you’re very jealous Hobie.”

He smirked and webbed you your hands in an instant, your eyes found his with matching glares, filled with desire. He then put you to lay on the edge of the building, your head leaning off as he growled,

“I’ll show you jealous.”

With expert hands he was able to find your hidden zipper and slide down your pants along with your panties, enough to free your cunt for him to touch. Your hands as they were webbed up, hung off the edge, dangling down, stretching you a bit. Hobie pulled you close to him by gripping your thighs tightly, then he tore the web off your wrists with the pick for his guitar.

You were just about to reach for him, but he pushed you back once again, and laying his pick between your teeth as he ordered,

“Love, you keep that there safe for me.. and these hands.. hold onto the edge… don’t touch me until I tell you.. understood?”

You nodded once, taking all his commands in, wanting to meet them all, but Hobie hovered his face over yours and asked calmly,

“Words love.. do you feel ok and safe?”

You knew if you had a problem with something he’d adjust the universe to your liking, but right now you felt good and desperation. So you worded with the pick in between,

“I feel goo’.. I just wan’ you… I nee’ you.”

Pressing a hard kiss to your lips, feeling his favorite metal pick touch him, it stirred him on to take you now. His fingers found your cunt and stuck two in, going knuckle deep as your were soaking and taking him smoothly. With pride he watched your face contort in pleasure, the most beautiful moans leaving your lips because of him.

Your chest heaved for air as he pumped harder and faster, wanting you to come apart by his hands. The beauty of the city lights below you couldn’t compare to you, you were far too bright and gorgeous, so many things at once you were and yet, you were the most fit and complete person he had ever seen.

Your walls squeezed around his fingers, informing him you were near as your moans turned into cries as well. He teased you a bit as he slowed the pace, hearing you cry for ‘him’ had him groan and feeling his pants tighten more.

“H-Hobie! Ah please! Please-“

“What do you want love-“

“More! More please..”

Your eyes teared up as you cried for him, wanting to feel more of him as he had spurred on your high then took it away. He sucked on his fingers, letting out a moan,

“Sweet as always love.. never doubted you..”

Hobie then kissed your face, letting you taste yourself on him as he took the pick from your lips and he unbuckled his pants, sliding them down as he worded to you,

“C’mere love.”

Latching onto him as your arms wrapped around him, he pulled you up into his lap, sitting where you were at the edge, while looking up to you as your face was almost right at his. You both were breathing hard as you ran your hands through his hair and rested the other on his neck, Hobie’s hands exploring your back and thighs while kissing your neck. It was an all new sensation you both felt, not wanting to end it and growing addicted by the second. Hobie’s cock rested between your thighs, hitting his stomach and leaking precum, it had you reaching for it and playing with the red tip. He pulled you in for a kiss as you began to take him into your hands. His hips bucked up as your hands slid up and down his large length, spreading his cum and rubbing the tip with your thumb. He was getting to his high not so slowly, your hands bringing him on faster than he thought, so he abruptly stopped you with a pleading voice,

“Please love, need to feel you.. ready?”

You were already lifting your hips over his tip as you responded,

“I’m so ready.”

It wasn’t long before you slid down on him, your soaked walls taking him in right away. Once he bottomed out you both knew deep down, that you wouldn’t last long.

He was so deep, his tip touching your cervix, Hobie picked you up as he gripped your thighs tightly, then he slid you back down, groaning into your lips at the pleasure he instantly felt. Hobie didn’t care and wasn’t afraid of the position he was in, as he sat at the edge of the skyscraper, with you in his lap taking all of him. He confided in his strength to withhold you, and make you feel good more than anything. You than began to bounce on his cock, letting out whimper’s and mewls when you slid back down, feeling the stretch overtake you. Hobie helped you speed up as he took control and moved his hips to meet you at every thrust. Warmth began to seep into your core again, but burning more this time. You pulled Hobie closer to you as you begged,

“I need you more- please!”

“I know my love.. me too.”

Hobie needed the same, and fully take control, so he changed positions and laid you on your back, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his hands as they were above your head, and took a deep breath as you prepared for what came. With locked gazes, Hobie pulled back and thrusted into you right away, loving how you responded to him so well by clenching around him and moaning his name. Little by little he picked up his speed, knowing you both needed your much needed release, warmth engulfing you both as well as a passion for more.

Hobie railed into you now as he asked in between pants,

“Who do you belong to love?”

Breathing out a moan when he hit a particular spot, you cried out,

“Y-You! You Hobie!!”

Letting go of your hand to hold your hips down with extra force, Hobie punctuated each word with a harsh thrust,

“You. Sure. Love?”

Hitting your cervix every time had your toes curling and backs arching to him while you whimpered,

“Yes!! I’m yours Hobie Brown!!”

You could feel him throb inside of your walls, as you clenched around him, nearing your release. Hobie could feel the release nearing too, your warm walls taking him in and milking his precum into you. Now all he desired in that moment was for you to let go for him, and only him. Increasing his speed and piercing his grip into you, Hobie demanded with a sweet but firm tone,

“Beg for me love.. t-tell me who it is that is making you co-come.”

Doing his best to hold on a bit longer, Hobie awaited your answer, pleading from his heart that it’d be soon as he wished to claim you already and paint your walls with him. You clawed his back and pulled him closer, kissing his earlobe you then panted and moaned into his ear,

“Only you can Hobie.. please- ahh! Make me come- please please Hobie!”

His jealousy for you along with a new unlocked sensation… possessiveness, had him wanting to here you beg more.

“Beg me to make you come-“

He then lowered his hand to your clit, and began to rub tight circles around your bud, urging you to cry out in a desperate tone, tears evident that you were desperate.

“-AHH!! Oh Hobie! Please- please baby make me cum! Only y-you can!! So p-please!!”

Letting out a deep breath Hobie moaned into your hair,

“Come my love, come wi’ me.”

Feeling him pulsate along with his sharp thrusts, had you coming undone under his arms, coating his cock with your juices. Hobie brought you in for a deep kiss when he came, swallowing yours and his moans as he then slowly rode out both of your highs, wanting it to last a little longer. He was the opposite from how he started, which was rough… but now he gave gentle strokes, only pulling away when you told him it was too sensitive now. You were both out of breath and pulling away at once to catch some air, your chests touching from how close you were but also how much air you were taking in. Hobie gave your forehead a short but meaningful kiss before pulling away, but instead you pulled him in for a hug, hiding your face in his neck as you reassured him,

“I’ll only and always be yours Hobie Brown.. I promise.”

Hobie squeezed you tight and was grateful for your embrace, and he ran his fingers through your hair, as he returned the promise,

“I’ll be yours too love.. forever.”

Your eyes twinkled, as he confessed,

“I’m sorry I never made it clear webs.. but I do love you… very much so.”

With a soft peck you replied,

“I love you too… I always have Hobie.”

In a silence you too held each other, satisfied with your actions, more in love and thriving for more days like this to come.

Maybe this love making session was unexpected and out of the blue for the both of you, but it felt so right, and so good. A little breeze of wind then brushed by, causing you to shiver a bit in Hobie’s arms, a second didn’t go by when he suggested,

“Let’s get us home yeah? Don’ want ya to get cold lovie…”

Carefully he helped you put back on your suit, being extra touchy but extremely gentle as he zipped you up (but he didn’t do this before taking a look at your- his cunt now dripping from his cum.

Soon you too helped Hobie with his pants, and getting his guitar safely back into his hold. Both slipping on your masks, you were ready to swing home, but your legs were a little to wobbly for your liking. Hobie caught the slight stumble before holding you up and telling you,

“I’ll carry you home.. on my back lovie.”

With you tightly secured around him, he took off and swung towards home, going through the city so you could have the last look of the city night lights… as he knew it was one of your favorite parts of being Spider-Woman. Efficiently he swung by a stand full of flowers, plucking one off and easily giving it to you, a smile made it to your face as the rose was given to you with a brush of his hands touching yours. You blushed hard like if it was the first time he touched you, and hadn’t just made love to you on the tallest building of your city.

You never felt fear as you embraced him with the rose in your hand tightly. You trusted Hobie’s skills as you had seen them be incredibly strong and capable of much, while swinging he’d collect something he’d like and hand it to you.. so far you have 3 different flowers and a lollipop. Hobie had sticky fingers.. but you didn’t mind it, he wasn’t selfish with his findings.

It didn’t take long when you finally arrived at your balcony, he made sure your feet were flat on the ground before letting you go. Walking into your dark home didn’t feel lonely and filled with void like before, now you held Hobie’s hand tight as you led him to your room, wordlessly telling him you really wanted him to stay the night, if not forever. You both jumped into the shower wanting it to be quick, your night having been long and you both were craving to lay down in one another’s arms. Hobie’s hands never left your body as he helped you scrub down, he never looked at you like you’re a piece of meat.. but as if you were such a treasure to behold. It didn’t matter about your battle scars or the shape of you, he was now addicted and more in love. You treated Hobie the same way, wanting to show him that you indeed wanted him and him only, asking him questions about how he does his hair and wanting to memorize his steps to keep his styled hair in tact (as you loved how his hair looked) Drying off in fluffy towels, and sharing the air-blow dryer, you too were soon ready for bed. Hobie lifted you up from the thighs and carried you in, laying you down gently and pecking your lips all so romantically, before plopping himself on top of you. A breathy groan left your lips as he cuddled into your stomach, acting innocent and slightly ignoring how he had dropped onto you. He made sure he was in a good spot, not wanting his hair to be in your face, but close enough where you can rub his head. Soft kisses were given on your tummy as he worded again and again, softly yet possessively,

“You’re mine.. all mine. This body, your heart… you. Right baby?”

You could never say no.

“Yes baby.. all yours.. all of me.”

He smiled to himself as he lastly cooed,

“I love you..”

His chest warmed up as he heard your reply,

“I love you more..”

[marragurl]

Saxaphone player Gallagher has not left my mind since the jazz night art dropped AND THEN Robin saying Halovian’s innately have good voices and Sunday used to hum lullabies to her as kids happened in the 2.2 special program, and I’m sure you guys can see where my unfortunate Galladay heart is going with this.

Whoever decided to make this art, I love you. I hope your pillow is cool every night, you’re never stuck in traffic, and your water is refreshing with every sip.

Also the art of Sunday with the White Gentlemen drink in the S.P.A.R.K.L.E jazz night event has also spiraled into me delusionally thinking that’s his go to drink. Which is hilarious since Robin has hinted before that he seems to have a massive sweet tooth in her letters.

(Sunday how do you even make holding a drink menacing, Sunday please get some therapy-)

So imagine this:

Pre 2.0 Galladay, where they’re both wary and suspicious of each other but didn’t do anything outright. Sunday slowly began to visit Gallagher’s bar whenever he had time to observe the Hound, initially on the down low just to get a sense of what he was working with and what to keep an eye on. He always gravitated to that one corner booth that every bar had with the most privacy, and just stalked there for a few hours before leaving. (Smol menacing birb in a tree vibes)

Gallagher obviously knew that Sunday was doing this (even though everyone else seemed to somehow completely miss him, Gallagher wouldn’t be surprised if Sunday was doing some weird Harmony mind tricks), and after the first few “stakeouts,” he bit the bullet and actually approached the table to engage with Sunday, on the off chance this was some weird “test of loyalty” by the Halovian to see if the Hound would swallow his pride to serve his so-called masters.

Nothing terrible happened, but he remained passive-aggressively polite when serving him, and Sunday remained passive-aggressively cool-headed in response. There was some snark of what dear “sweet-toothed” Sunday would want at a bar, and an icy reply of “aren’t you the master drink smith? Why don’t you show me those skills you boasted about?” which led to Gallagher being petty and giving Sunday the White Gentlemen drink, both for the story behind it being such a metaphor for Sunday, and because it was on the more bitter side of alcoholic drinks.

Sunday wasn’t too against the drink; it wasn’t something he would have ordered if it had been his choice, but it wasn’t a bad drink by any means. He couldn’t help but continue to drink it even after Gallagher left his little hidey booth to go back to the main bar, but he’d never stoop so low as to complement the Hound. Of course, he never ordered anything else from then on, only White Gentleman. In fact, over time it seemed to slowly get better, the flavors grew on him, and he couldn't help but look forward to it during difficult nights in the Dreamscape.

If Gallagher tried to needle him into a different drink, Sunday just bit back a “oh? Admitting defeat? I thought this was your best drink for me?” with a little smirk while Gallagher had to use every bit of self-control to not punch him in the face.

As time went on, the bar slowly became a place Sunday frequented to not quite relax, but to get away from the hustle and bustle of Penacony and his duties as one of its main faces. The stresses slowly started piling up, especially with the Charmony fast approaching in a few months and all that came with it.

Gallagher didn’t seem to loosen up regarding his attitude with Sunday, but he did get better at shoving down the visceral hatred he had for everything to do with The Family and Sunday as time went on. He didn’t get soft with Sunday per se, but he definitely kept an eye out for him, and definitely knew when to cut off his drinks on days where it seemed that Sunday wasn’t all that there for their usual veiled comments towards one another when he went to serve him his drink.

It started small, with Sunday staying later and later until sometimes he was the last one to leave the bar to return to reality. Gallagher wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, still wasn’t quite sure this wasn’t some weird long-term test Sunday was devising, especially since he still seemed to be the same ruthless Family member, the same Head of the Oak Family, when Gallagher was working as a Bloodhound outside the bar. For some reason though, within the enclosed space of this strange sanctuary, it was almost peaceful between the two.

One night, there was something wrong when Sunday entered the bar during Gallagher’s shift. He saw a bit of a crowd near the small stage that was within eyesight of his little hidey booth, it seemed some of the musicians of the live band were arguing? He watched as Gallagher came over, seemed to try to speak with the group before honing in on one of the musicians who had been making the most noise and seemed to be about to get physical with the rest. Sunday watched as Gallagher picked up the musician by the scruff of their suit with one hand and carried them towards the doors and lightly tossed them out.

(It was the first time Sunday had actually seen Gallagher perform anything resembling the actual duty of a Bloodhound. It only hit him that he’d only ever seen the other when giving reports, orders, or at the bar. Why was this so shocking to him, he’d seen the man’s arms before, hard not to with his slovenly dress and messy clothing style, as if he couldn’t bother to hide away his imperfections from the world, not like Sunday who refused to be seen by the world, to dare to show one thing off about himself despite his countless failings- he’s getting far too distracted by one meager showing of strength, focus Sunday)

There had always been a live music segment. Sunday was curious to see what would happen with the band missing a member, but was distracted by Gallagher placing his usual White Gentlemen in front of him before heading back to the musicians without a single word to him. Gallagher took a moment to speak with the rest of the band, who seemed to be coming out of their shock and took on worried looks. Sunday could only watch in muted shock as Gallagher went behind the bar and came back with a case, opening it to reveal a saxophone. He then went on stage with the rest of the group, positioned himself further to the side and in the back amongst the shadows within Sunday’s line of sight, and played with the band for the rest of the night.

Sunday couldn’t look away.

He was frozen as he watched Gallagher seamlessly transition from song to song, taking only small breaks to continue serving the other patrons before heading back in. Sunday only remembered about his own drink when his gloves began to get wet from the ice melting into condensation on his glass.

Something felt off within Sunday, and for the first time since Robin’s debut, he couldn't help humming to the music of the band, music that wasn’t of his own sister’s making. He couldn’t help but remember those little concerts the two would have, taking care of his little sister, his only world. He would do anything to keep the Harmony, to keep their family going. When was the last time they truly spent time together? Before he became the Head of the Oak Family? Before he couldn't recognize his own smile?

He was so lost in his thoughts, in memories he thought he buried, that he didn’t realize that it was once again closing time, and he was once again the last one left. He only snapped out of it when Gallagher came by to grab his empty glass, only quirking a questioning brow at him before heading back to the bar.

Gallagher had been keeping a quiet eye on the Halovian that night from the back of the band, in the shadows he felt the most comfort in when in the Dreamscape of Penacony. He had watched Sunday’s eyes glaze over, and the only reason he hadn’t felt offended by the seeming disinterest was the look in the other man’s eyes reminding him of his own when he looked in the mirror. The same look of shame, regret, loss, longing, of the wishes to regain everything he had lost. The same look he strove to hide under every bit of the facade he had crafted of this new self, but came back all too often with every reference of the Family found within his prison in the Dreamscape.

Maybe it was the shared nostalgia within his own heart, that little bit of his true self that he thought died when the Family tore out everything that made him who he was, that made him return behind the bar and begin making Sunday another White Gentlemen, giving Sunday a small nod to beckon him over. He wasn’t expecting anything from it, and he masked his own surprise when Sunday actually left his little shelter to come and take a seat in front of him at the bar. Even while out of it, Gallagher made note of the quiet confidence the other still carried himself. Nothing seemed wrong to anyone else looking at him, only for the lost look in his eyes.

The first time in the many months that they’ve been skirting around each other, and finally they seemed to be face to face.

It was quiet as Gallagher made Sunday his usual drink, a drink he had been slowly changing over the months to be sweeter and sweeter that Sunday never quite seemed to notice, or if he did, he never said anything, only seeming to savor it more each subsequent night. Maybe not even Gallagher noticed his own changes to the drink, subtle as they were.

It was quiet as Sunday took the finished drink, and it was quiet as his eyes slid over the bartop to see the saxophone case laying open with the instrument inside. It was quiet as Gallagher followed his eyes, as he came out from behind the bartop to take the saxophone out and take a seat in a chair only one seat down from Sunday’s. It was quiet as Gallagher began to play to his audience of one.

It was quiet as Sunday quietly hummed along.

It was quiet as they both knew that it would not last.

OK yea so this was all because I heard ‘La vie en rose’ at the end of the Jazz night event and went “Damn I wish that’s Gallagher playing on his Sax” and then we spiraled.

Uh. Idk what it is with me having a small ship moment which then spirals into a full blown writing session. My mind blanked out and as I came to I find out that I made a whole ass little one shot over here then completely forgot about it WHOOPS

So yea, hope my fellow Galladay enjoyers… enjoyed! I think I’ve slowly begun to crave… not domestic or fluff per se from these two, but after every AO3 fic being super dark between them (which I get! They are the toxic yaoi kings of Penacony as of writing this, no one is denying that!) I think I want to see them be explored in a more melancholic sense. Not quite the “forbidden” love angle, but in the “damn we kinda have some parallels, and maybe in another life we could have gotten along but there’s too much baggage and anger, both historically and currently to really even try anything”

I have this feeling this may not be the last time I write about these two… is Galladay going to be the ship that gets me to actually use my AO3 account?

[youcouldmakealife]

KS Fill: Mike/Liam; happy place

For the always welcome prompt: Anything where Mike and Liam are happy

Teensy bit NSFW because, well, it's Mike and Liam.

The kitchen’s always been Mike’s favourite room of the house.

Well, Liam would like to think it’s his second favourite room, but it probably isn’t. It’s not like they keep shit confined to the bedroom or anything anyway. There isn’t a surface in this house that Liam hasn’t gotten bent over at some point, though Mike was very, very thorough about disinfecting the kitchen counter after. Totally anal about it.

“Why are you snickering to yourself,” Mike says.

It doesn’t even come out suspicious, he’s gotten into such a rhythm cutting little stars out of a sheet of cookie dough. He probably wouldn’t admit this even to himself, but while Mike may like to cook, he loves to bake. Only ever does it for others, though, like the baking itself isn’t unmanly but eating the results is.

That means Liam usually only gets to sample his baking one filched cookie at a time, which is bullshit. But also, probably good for his career. Mike’s just as good at baking as he is at cooking. Possibly even better, but Liam’s got a sweet tooth, so he’s probably biased.

“Liam,” Mike says, and Liam realises he hasn’t bothered to answer.

“Thought of a sex joke,” Liam says.

Mike snorts. “Of course you did,” he says. “Do I want to hear it?”

“You always do,” Liam says. Mike secretly thinks he’s hilarious.

“Go ahead,” Mike says, trying and failing to sound long-suffering. Cutting little stars is clearly his happy place. Liam’s going to go completely nuts online later buying cookie cutters. He wonders if they have little skulls and crossbones or rockets or something. Maybe Mike will let them keep a batch of cookies if they’re badass enough. Probably not, but a man can hope.

“Remember how we fucked in the kitchen?” Liam asks.

“Which time?” Mike asks.

Liam waves a hand. “Irrelevant to the joke.”

“Okay,” Mike says. “Yes, I remember.”

“So I was thinking about how you were, you know, super thorough cleaning the counters off after?” Liam asks.

“I prepare food on these counters,” Mike says. “They need to be—“

“Not saying you shouldn’t have been,” Liam says. “Just, you know. That was kind of anal of you.”

Mike doesn’t stop himself from snorting in time. “That was bad,” he says, a second too late. “Completely juvenile.”

“I know,” Liam says cheerfully. Made Mike snort, though, so what does that say about him?

Mike looks down at his handiwork, a sea of stars across the baking sheet, enough for every member of the roster.

“You’re making two batches, right?” Liam asks. It’s just the team for this one, no significant others or kids, so technically only one batch is needed, but one per person doesn’t work out well. There are thieves on that team. He should know: he’s one of them.

“Three,” Mike says. “Make sure there’s enough for the support staff.”

Once again, Mike is going to be the most popular person at the team Christmas party. Third straight year. Liam thinks they should make him a trophy or something.

“Can we decorate them to be North Stars?” Liam asks. “Or is that not Christmassy enough?”

“Why do you think I picked stars, Fitzgerald?” Mike asks, and Liam grins at him. “Why don’t you make yourself useful, find the green food colouring for me?”

Liam has no idea where the fuck it would be, but he has eyes and hands and enthusiasm, and the full awareness that Mike will gripe at him from across the room like a backseat searcher until he locates it.

“Why would it be in there?” Mike asks, as Liam opens the cupboards, and Liam grins at the mixing bowls. The griping’s already begun.

“Baking stuff,” Liam says.

Mike sighs, and Liam moves one over.

“Liam,” he says, and Liam grins wider. “Really?”

“Tell me where to go, and I’m there,” Liam says, but instead Mike pins him against the counter, basically surrounding him. Liam leans back into him, closes his eyes when Mike wraps an arm around his chest, brushes his lips against Liam’s temple, the kind of thing he’d deny was a kiss if asked. ‘What? Kiss you? My mouth just happened to be in the area, don’t flatter yourself’.

Liam tilts his head up, and he gets a proper kiss for that, though Mike pulls away just as he’s starting to get a crick in his neck. He always seems to know, somehow.

Mike presses another not-kiss to his cheekbone, then smacks his ass. “Go find me the food colouring,” he says.

It takes ten minutes, and Mike almost throws the cookie cutter at him, but eventually Liam locates it.

“Can I help make the frosting?” he asks.

“You just want to lick the beaters,” Mike says, but he doesn’t say no.

[bellaxgiornata]

This is sort of a headcanon one but also a bit like the title one too I guess?

I’m curious how Matt and reader (from whichever of your stories you think fits best) would react getting back to find a raccoon has gotten into some alcohol and they now have a random drunk raccoon in their apartment?

Honestly I have no explanation for why I’m asking this, I just thought it would be hilarious to find out how they would react. I also have no idea if alcohol harms raccoons but for the purpose of fun, let’s assume the raccoon is completely unharmed, just intoxicated

(Yeah idk 😂. Have fun figuring this one out)

I am so sorry for the delayed response to this one (and the others I still have from my follower celebration, which I promise I will get to them all at some point, I have not forgotten)!

I've also been internally dying every time I read this one because it screams FFTD Matt and Reader. Like, I have no idea how a raccoon makes it up to the sixth floor of an apartment in Hell's Kitchen, but I don't care because I love this so let's go with it!

Headcannon is below the cut as usual!

Matt and Reader are coming home from a night at Josie's where they'd been drinking with their friends. Both of them definitely have had a couple of drinks and are feeling a little buzzed.

The entire way up the elevator to their floor, Matt is being a little handsy and whispering his usual flirty comments into Reader's ear. Her body's reaction to him as per usual is further riling Matt up.

But when they finally step into the apartment, Matt sobers up a little bit because he notices something is off. Something doesn't smell right and he hears noises that don't appear to be coming from where Mittens is sitting in his cat tree.

Reader immediately catches onto the way his demeanor has changed and asks him what's going on, but he only holds up a hand to quiet her and whispers, "Stay here."

Matt gradually makes his way down the entry hall, his head shifting back and forth as he tries to focus his inebriated senses on whatever is happening.

Eventually he stops by the leather couch, a look of sheer confusion on his face that Reader can see from the bright light of the billboard across the street.

When she asks what's going on, Matt slowly replies, "I...think there's a raccoon in the kitchen. And it-" he stops to audibly sniff, "-smells like it's gotten into the beer."

Completely shocked, Reader cautiously hurries down the hall over to Matt in the living room, flipping on the lights as she goes. She spots Mittens in the top of his cat tree by the window first, noticing how he's sitting pin straight with his ears back and focused on something in the kitchen.

When she slowly turns to follow both Matt and Mittens' gaze, she spots a chubby raccoon sitting on the kitchen counter and partially leaning against the opened jar of trail mix she just made yesterday for Matt, looking as if he's struggling to hold himself upright. On the floor in front of the fridge, there are two empty bottles of beer.

"Oh no," Reader mutters, which immediately has Matt asking what's going on. "He definitely drank some of your beer, Matt. And he's--he's eating your trail mix..."

Matt's expression immediately changes to something dark and serious. "I'm sorry, he's eating my what?"

Before Reader can respond, Matt's hands are on her shoulders and he's ushering her back away from the kitchen. "Take Mittens," Matt orders her, "and get in the bedroom. Let me deal with this."

"What're you going to do?" Reader asks, scrambling to grab a confused Mittens out of the cat tree.

"I'm getting that thing out of here and saving my trail mix," he answers, heading over towards the closet with his suit.

"Matt," Reader says, eyes going wide as she backs into the bedroom with Mittens in her arms, "please tell me you're not about to beat up the poor drunk raccoon for eating your trail mix."

Matt stops in front of his steamer trunk and glances back towards Reader and Mittens, a scandalized look on his face. "Of course not, but I'm also not about to approach a drunk raccoon without any sort of protection on. I'm not crazy."

Reader slips into the bedroom with Mittens in her arms, sliding the door shut after herself as she shakes her head, whispering under her breath, "So help any man, woman, or drunk raccoon that gets between the Devil and his trail mix."

"I heard that!" Matt shouts back.

Moral of the story, don't touch Matty's trail mix. He'd even fight a drunk raccoon for it--and honestly, I'd love to see an inebriated Daredevil wrestle a drunk raccoon away from his trail mix and out of the roof access door. Though...I'm not sure how clean that jar of trail mix would be now after tiny little raccoon hands were all up in it...

[in1-nutshell]

TFP Lithia sounds like it would be a hilarious dose of chaos! I can see Ratchet flipping out and Miko having a grand old time dragging Lithia into as many shenanigans as she can!

(If inspiration strikes to have RB Blades make an appearance, I think that could be fun too, but only if it works with what you have in mind)

Maybe I should write more one on one stories with the kids or specific bots in the future.

Hope you enjoy!

Lithia and Miko's day out

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Hinted romance, Cybertronian reader

TFP/RB

Per usual, Miko had decided to tag along on today’s mission through the groundbrigde.

As much as Lithia loved her human companions, she could feel her optic twitch hearing the energetic teen running off for the 100th time.

Apparently scolding her wasn’t going to help, in fact Lithia was sure that it encouraged Miko to do more running.

But despite this, Lithia couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about the girl getting scolded.

Maybe she was just bored?

…

…Oh, she hoped this wasn’t going to back fire and bite her in the tailpipe.

Lithia catches Miko looking at the groundbrigde as it started whirling to life. She quickly plucks the girl into her servos. Miko: “Hey! Lithia put me down! They need me!” Lithia raises an optic, half amused and half frustrated. Lithia: “And pray tell what you are going to do?” Miko just crossed her arms, still in the bots servos. Miko: “I can do stuff!” Lithia shakes her helm. Lithia: “Miko—” Miko: “If you’re going to do the scolding, just bring me to Ratchet or Bulkhead. No offense, but you’re not exactly the ‘enforcer’ type.” Lithia: “Some offense taken, and I was going to ask if you wanted to go somewhere while the others are out.” Miko was about to say something but stopped and looks at Lithia shocked. Miko: “You can leave the base?” Lithia: “Yes? What you think I couldn’t?” Miko: “I just thought you were confined to the base cause Ratchet told you to stay.” Lithia: “Well… this trip is going to be our little thing.” Miko gasps a bit, and a wide smile grows on her face. Lithia makes a shush motion before the human could say anything. Lithia: “If you can wait a few days, behaving, I’ll make our trip happen.”

Lithia was not expecting Miko to actually behave the next few days.

 Everyone noticed how much Miko had mellowed down.

She didn’t even give a second look at the groundbrigde being activated.

Not a muscle ready to run for the portal.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack were concerned that Miko may have been sick.

Ratchet has already told the Wrecker’s that Miko was healthy, but that didn’t mean he also didn’t worry about her.

Lithia reassured Ratchet and the others that she would keep an optic out for her.

It gave them some comfort knowing another set of medical optics looking out for the human.

Finally, the day came.

Lithia had gone to pick up Miko from school after half day was done, saying it was a favor for Bulkhead.

As soon as Lithia hit the end of the towns limits, she suddenly slammed the acceleration catching Miko off guard.

A swirling groundbrigde swirled as they went through

…except they didn’t end up in the base…

Lithia transformed after letting Miko out.

The normally extroverted girl found herself sticking close to the medics pedes, even jumping when the large doors opened.

A large orange and white mech came out. Miko relaxed a bit seeing the Autobot badge on his chassis. Lithia smiled widely before running to the mech, trapping him in a tight hug. The orange and white mech hugged just as tightly. Miko just stared at them. Miko: “Umm… hi The new bot looked over at her and then at Lithia. Lithia: “She knows Blades, I need to keep an optic out on this little troublemaker.” Blades: “Oh?” He kneels to get a better look at Miko. He gives her a smile that rivaled Lithia’s. Blades: “Hey there! I’m Blades!” Miko: “…Miko…”

Turns out Lithia had reached out to Blades about having a day out on the island.

He knew that a human would be joining but didn’t expect Miko, but was welcoming nonetheless.

Miko had a blast with the tour of Griffin Rock’s most seen places.

She was seriously thinking about moving here when she was older.

The two bots also chatted happily while Miko was taking some pictures.

As much as she wanted to go with them to the more crowded areas, the phrase ‘robots in disgses’ kept on ringing in her head.

The girl tried to get into her usual antics, but apparently Lithia had taken a note from Arcee’s book and created a holoform to snatch her when things were getting a little too extreme.

Extreme as in Miko trying to steal a jetpack or ride a giant mechanical bull.

Blades was a nice bot to talk to, he reminded her a bit of Bulkhead.

He even let her inside his cockpit for a little joy ride.

Miko: “So Blades, what’s up with you Lithia?” Blades: “Like what?” Miko: “You two seem close. Are you guys an item or something? Or did you guys use to date?” Blades paused before laughing. Blades: “Hahaha! No, no Miko she’s my Amica.” Miko blinks for a second. Miko: “…So she’s your ex?” Blades: “No! I’m not and have not dated her. She’s like my best friend! Besides Bumblebee of course.” Miko: “You know Bee?” Blades: “Yep! He’s the best!” Miko: “… Did you know Lithia has a thing for Bee?” Blades: “Oh my Primus I thought I was the only one! Are they dating yet?” Miko: “No, at this point only a natural disaster is going to get them to confess.” Blades: “Agreed. My team has a betting pool on when they are going to confess, you wanna join?” Miko: “There’s other bots!?”

Blades had to stop the girl from trying to contact his team several times.

He finally understood what Lithia meant about Miko being a bit of a handful.

The copter was just thankful that she stopped after he faked getting hurt after she pushed some of his buttons too hard.

Lithia has no idea what the pair are talking about.

She is just happy that the two are bonding.

Sadly, it was soon time to leave.

After a few hugs and a promise to visit again in the future the pair left Griffin rock.

Lithia and Miko walk into the groundbride in the base. Lithia: “You know its kind of weird that no one called—” She didn’t get to finish her sentence as she was tackled into a tight hug by a familiar yellow bot. Bumblebee: “Beep bep bep Boop bop?! (Where were you two!? We’ve been calling for hours! We thought the Con’s got you!)” Lithia: “We didn’t get anything.” Miko shrugs before getting scooped up by fretting Bulkhead. Lithia looks over at Ratchet. The doctor had a look of concern, relief and anger. Ratchet: “His question still stands Lithia. I would have expected this behavior from Miko, not you.” Lithia raises an optic as she gets out of Bee’s grip and crosses her arms. Lithia: “First thing, leave Miko out of this. Second, we didn’t get any calls. Did you use the right com line?” Ratchet: “Of course I did!” Lithia looks at the screen before sighing. Lithia: “You were calling on the old line.” Ratchet looks at the screen. Ratchet: “…It appears I did. But where were you two?” Lithia smiles patting her father on the shoulder. Lithia: “Just visiting Blades.” Bumblebee: “Beep boop bop? (You know Blades?)”

[knoepfl]

A Senseless Assumption

Fandom:Senseless Genre: Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life

Summary: Tim LaFlour prided himself on being a people person—or at least someone who could tell when things weren’t right. When his girlfriend starts acting differently, he jumps to the obvious (but hilariously wrong) conclusion: she’s on drugs. Cue misunderstandings, comedic chaos, and a lesson Tim won’t forget anytime soon

Pairing

• Tim LaFlour x Reader (Romantic relationship)

Trigger Warnings

• Mentions of Mood Swings • Misunderstandings About Drug Use • Comedic Gender Stereotypes • Mild Language and Arguments • Mention of Food Consumption

Masterlist

Words: 1055

--- Tim LaFlour had a knack for spotting the weird in any situation. It wasn’t a skill he worked on, per se—more like a side effect of being weird himself. That’s why he couldn’t ignore the fact that his girlfriend, his awesome girlfriend, had been acting...off.

"Hey, babe, can you pass the salt?" he’d asked a couple of nights ago over dinner.

She’d glared at him like he’d just asked for her kidney. "Get it yourself, Tim."

Normally, she’d laugh at his laziness or toss the salt at him with a grin. This time, she looked one eye-roll away from stabbing him with her fork.

And then there were the other things. Like how she cried during a cheesy dog food commercial and then got mad at him for laughing about it. Or how she devoured an entire bag of chips and then ranted about how terrible they were.

It wasn’t like her. She was usually chill, the calm to his chaos. Now, she was a walking rollercoaster.

Tim brought up his concerns to Darryl the next day while they were hanging out in their dorm.

"Dude, I think something’s wrong with her," Tim said, pacing the room.

Darryl barely looked up from his textbook. "Wrong how?"

"She’s acting...I don’t know, weird. Like, mood swings, random crying, snapping at me for no reason. Yesterday, she called me a ‘human disaster.’" Tim paused. "Okay, that one’s fair, but still. It’s not like her."

"Maybe she’s stressed?" Darryl suggested, scribbling notes.

Tim shook his head. "No, man. Stress doesn’t explain it. You don’t just snap out of nowhere. I think...I think she might be on drugs."

That got Darryl’s attention. He stared at Tim, eyebrows raised. "Drugs? Seriously?"

"Yeah! Like, what if she’s doing something hardcore? Like, I don’t know, LSD or something."

"You realize LSD doesn’t cause mood swings, right?"

"Okay, well, I don’t know the specifics, Darryl!" Tim threw his hands up. "I’m not a drug scientist. All I’m saying is she’s not herself, and I need to figure out what’s going on."

Darryl sighed. "Have you tried, you know, talking to her?"

Tim blinked. "Talking? To her? What if she lies?"

"Or," Darryl said dryly, "what if she tells you the truth, and it’s something completely normal?"

But Tim wasn’t listening. He was already planning his next move.

---

Tim decided to keep an eye on his girlfriend for a couple of days, subtly. At least, that’s what he told himself. In reality, his version of subtle was about as subtle as a neon sign.

When she got up to grab a snack, Tim casually leaned over her bag and peeked inside.

"Tim, what are you doing?" she asked, catching him mid-snoop.

"Uh, nothing!" he said, straightening up and grinning. "Just making sure you didn’t forget your, uh, keys!"

She squinted at him. "My keys are in my pocket."

"Well, good! Crisis averted!" He gave her a double thumbs-up and backed away.

Later, he tried to sneak a look at her phone, but she caught him again.

"Why are you acting so weird?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Weird? Me? Ha! You’re imagining things." He let out a nervous laugh and quickly changed the subject.

By the third day, Tim was more convinced than ever that something was up. He decided it was time to confront her, Tim LaFlour style: with absolutely no tact or planning.

---

"Alright, babe, we need to talk," Tim announced dramatically as she sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.

She looked up, clearly annoyed. "About what?"

Tim took a deep breath. "Look, I know you’ve been going through some stuff lately. And I just want you to know, no matter what it is, I’m here for you."

Her expression softened slightly. "Tim, that’s sweet, but—"

"Even if it’s drugs," he blurted out.

She froze. "...What?"

"You don’t have to hide it from me!" he said, sitting beside her. "If you’re, like, experimenting or whatever, I’ll support you. Unless it’s meth. Or heroin. Or anything Tony in the quad sells—seriously, don’t trust that guy."

Her jaw dropped. "You think I’m on drugs?"

"Well, yeah! I mean, the mood swings, the random crying, the way you yelled at me for eating your leftover pizza—"

"You ate my pizza?"

"Not the point!" Tim waved it off. "The point is, you’re acting different, and I’m worried about you!"

For a moment, she just stared at him. Then she started laughing.

Tim frowned. "This isn’t a joke, babe. I’m serious."

"Oh my God," she said, clutching her stomach. "You think I’m on drugs because I yelled at you? Tim, I’m not on drugs. I have my period."

He blinked. "Your...what?"

"My period, Tim. You know, hormones, cramps, mood swings? The thing every woman deals with once a month?"

Tim stared at her, completely dumbfounded. "So...you’re not on LSD?"

"No!"

"Not even a little?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, Tim. I’m not on drugs. I’m just dealing with my period. And by the way, you ate my pizza."

Tim leaned back, processing this information. "Okay, so...all this time, I’ve been freaking out over something completely normal?"

"Yes."

"And you’re not secretly meeting Tony in the quad?"

"No!"

Tim let out a breath. "Wow. That’s...actually kind of a relief."

---

Once the misunderstanding was cleared up, Tim went into full boyfriend-repair mode. He raided the kitchen for chocolate, offering her a candy bar like it was a peace treaty.

"Here. For the hormones," he said, handing it over.

She snorted. "Thanks, Tim. Very thoughtful."

"Hey, I’m trying here! I didn’t know this was, like, a thing you go through every month. You should’ve told me!"

"Most guys don’t need a tutorial on basic biology."

"Yeah, well, I’m not most guys, am I?" He grinned, throwing an arm around her.

She couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he was trying so hard.

"Okay," she said, leaning into him. "But next time, just ask me what’s going on before assuming I’m on drugs."

"Deal." He kissed the top of her head. "And, uh, sorry about the pizza. That was totally my bad."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "You’re lucky you’re cute."

"Damn right I am."

And just like that, they were back to normal—or as normal as things got when Tim LaFlour was involved.

---

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Weekend all :) First off sorry I forgot to thank everyone last ep. My Chris rage was immense so it knocked me off kilter haha So thank you all for reading ❤️ We’ve hit another fav on my list. The dance alone makes this episode amazing. It’s also the things leading up to it that are also great. This definitely has the why aren’t you together moment? Excited to cover their iconic dance. Let’s get going.

4x18 Backstabbers

We begin with Tim telling Lucy they're not riding together. That she's with Nolan and he's with Aaron today. I love Lucy’s little nose scrunch. Clearly not happy she has to ride with someone else for her shift. Riding with Nolan wasn’t on her list of things she wanted to do today and it shows. I can't get over her dislike of being separated from him for the day. I do love her sassy reply though. Can’t let him know not riding with him bums her out.

Also we all know he would rather be riding with her as well. But you know neither of them can admit as such. Because god forbid we do that eh? So they bury their feelings in their banter per usual. Definitely got that old married couple energy going on here. The sassy eyebrow pump she does is so cute. Tim is gonna miss her we all know it haha We also get that Tall/Smol shot I love so much as well. Always happy to get one of those.

They pass Webb on their way to the kit room. He tells Tim what a good job he did on the Stewart case. Lucy is smiling then putting things together. Saying isn’t she the one who solved it? The one who made the connection? Also that she got punched in the face while arresting him...

Tim cutely says ‘You’re jealous.’ Clearly amused by this reaction of her's. Then goes on a classic Tim rant. Asking if that’s why she does this job? For high fives from Webb? We all know that’s not what she’s asking for here Timothy. Lucy tells him it would be nice to have some recognition. It is part of the reason she took being his side. Amongst other reasons….

He then does what he thinks she wants and it backfires. Pretty badly. This isn’t what she meant by recognition. I do love him winking at her while he’s explaining it to Webb. Saying how he couldn’t have solved it without her. All it does it make Tim look even better. Because Webb just continues to praise Tim. He can't possibly think that's what she wanted LOL Now it looks like he is being selfless and sharing credit.

Lucy’s reaction is hilarious when he asks her if she feels better? Cleary not Timothy... She is still pissed because this is after the fact. She wanted the recognition when the case happened. Not after when Tim’s name was already the arresting officer. It's not the same thing. Oh my love you aren’t getting what’s she’s throwing down right now ha Her body language and facial expression expressing her discontent with him.

Aaron joins them and makes the worst decision he could. Kissing Tim’s ass. Idk why he would think this was a good idea. Especially after riding with the female version of Tim LOL Tim is straight forward with Aaron. Tells him to not kiss ass and set up the shop. He turns to Lucy looking for advice. Wisdom of any kind. She is the Tim dictionary after all. No one better to go to about this man.

Unfortunately she is too caught up in own thing to dispense anything helpful. Just goes off on a rant about credit. How he shouldn't let Tim just steal it from him. Poor Aaron is like 'uhhh but I’m a rookie…so that is not helpful at all' ha I love her pout and restlessness as the scene ends. Lucy is so salty and needs to vent. Aaron is not your guy for that sadly.

We catch up to Lucy full on ranting to Nolan about Tim. Telling him it’s not even about the recognition. I mean…it kinda is ha She continues on saying how every single case file has Tim’s name on it. How she’s the one filing all the reports for it. She asks Nolan how she’s supposed to take on more responsibility if no one knows what she’s capable of? Nolan being the dope he is tries to get factual on her. *sigh* John this is why you are just friends LOL You clueless dope.

Asking her 'Wasn’t riding with Tim her idea?' Lucy says yes cause he takes on all the high profile cases. Which is huge for her. Nolan adds in that she is seeing a down side to that now? She nods and he continues to put his foot in his mouth cause Nolan. Saying she should just get reassigned then. Tim would understand. (I don’t know he would...) Also that's not what she wants at all. She was upset they weren't riding for one day together. So there's no way she's walking away from being his aide.

Nolan is being such a man right now. Trying to solve her problems when she just wants to vent. To hear ‘yeah that sucks .’ Or ‘Tim should give you credit’ I love her calling him out on it. Like listen John you are here to listen not problem solve haha Luckily he does as such and repeats back that Tim is the "worst" (I mean he’s not she just stupid frustrated with her work hubby ha). Lucy’s cute little smile after he does is adorable. Like good boy Nolan. ha

We flit back to Tim and Aaron. He tells Tim he’s ready for any test he wants to throw his way. Tim says that’s why he’s not going to. That Harper is a great T.O. (Look how far we’ve come since s2. My heart.) He’s been on the job long enough he doesn't need them. He lets Aaron know today isn’t about if he will make it. It’s about what kind of officer he will become when he does.

Aaron asks Tim how they’re gonna find that out? Tim says by figuring out his superpower. He starts to list everyone’s. He’s spot on for Harper and of course for his girl. I mean her empathy is one of her biggest strengths. She is very good at adapting to any situation. I mean her biggest adaption was Tim at first. Hehe It is her superpower no doubt.

He then says Nolan talks a lot LMAO Aaron isn’t disagreeing….I love Tim’s answer to his follow up question. That if he doesn’t have one he’ll be Smitty Haha Aaron looking nervous and feeling like this is still a Tim test somehow…I mean it is. Just a character based one. Which is pretty damn important to Tim Bradford. So...you should be nervous. lol

This next portion for Tim and Aaron is hilarious. They’re called to a guy magnet fishing. He tells them he found something strange. It’s a sword. Aaron mentions a murder that involved decapitation recently. Tim tells the man they’ll need to take it. He looks bummed but says at least he can get money on something else.

Aaron panics and levels Tim. Knocks him to the ground immediately. Poor Tim and his back issues. I have those now it hurts to watch him tackle him to the ground like that. Tim makes a crack saying 'Clearly being able to identify fake grenades is not his super power.' LOL Aaron makes a face and we see Tim’s back covered in goose crap hahaha Oh Aaron is bombing left and right.

They're back in the shop and Tim is eating his potential super powers for breakfast. Kudos to Aaron for suggesting more and more though. Except Tim is destroying every single of one of them…It’s so funny to watch. I mean it’s not funny for poor Aaron LOL Just more proof no challenges him like Lucy. Truly no one can match what she brings to their dynamic. You know Tim feels it when she’s absent. So he is just mowing down Aaron in the process haha poor guy. I do love Aaron though. He’s such a goober and it shows through out the rest of this season and into the next. He was a great addition to the cast.

Tim and Aaron respond to domestic call. This man just got paroled and wants to see his son. His ex is fighting him saying he can't be anywhere near them. Tim takes the man's ID to run him and Aaron asks to talk to the man. He does a good job calming him down with his own experience. Tells him I’m sure he’s dreamt of this moment for years.

He’s also sure this wasn’t how he expected it to go down. That he needs to remember it’s been years for them. They've been living their lives while he was gone. So they might not be ready but someday they might. Gives him his card and the number for James if he needs it. They can help him get back on his feet when he's ready for it. Tim walks up and tells him good job. Finally got one right. Yay Aaron.

Tim walks up to Aaron at the wedding reception to discuss his super power. Wanting to make sure he knows what it is. He's been searching for their entire time together. Tim tells him that it’s experience with being incarcerated. Clearly he has a connection to those that have been in prison. That empathy and compassion is what he can build his career on. Gah I love when he’s in teaching mode. Fine af. *fans self* Teach away sexy. This scene ends with funny bit about the park moment haha I enjoyed them together a lot.

This next moment is an all time fav of mine. Tim surprising Lucy not once but twice with his actions. First off by bringing up that dance he 'owes' her from 3x14. You know Tim kinda made the first move with her more than once before they were together. 3x14 being one and this being another. He’s the one to bring the dance back up. A dance I’m sure she never expected him to bring back up. We all know he wanted to dance with her and this was his sly way of doing that. So he uses the guise of saying it's still owed to her.

Tim ‘I don’t do weddings’ Bradford wants to dance with his girl. This is his way of getting that but still being himself about it. Acting like he has to do this. When I’m sure that dance has been on his mind on and off since that moment happened. We see right through you Timothy but it's ok hehe The absolute sass from Lucy is on par for her. Always toe to toe with him. She too is excited he’s cashing this in. You can tell she is happy he remembered this dance. A debt was owed hehe Tim making a face but you know he loves it. She is his equal in so many ways but especially for banter. Tells him like it is and he keeps coming back for more.

Ahhh these two idiots in love. Looks at this man when she takes his hand. That is his full blown Lucy smile. That 'I’m a goner for this woman and would do anything for her.' smile. She is the only one who brings that out in him. He’s so love with her at this point you’d have to be blind not to see it. He lights up when she takes his hand and makes a classic Lucy expression at him. You could power a city with that smile of his. The way they walk onto the dance floor you'd think they were each others date to this party.

Harper’s daughter earlier said she liked her mom with James. Noting that ‘You’re happy when you’re around him.’ These two are never happier than when they are around each other. Their true self’s come out and they are radiating joy. Look at those two above. They are carefree and light as a feather in this moment. Projecting heart eyes as far as the eye can see. You’re never gonna see them be this way with their current SO’s. They don’t bring out the best in them. Anyone around them can see they’re gone for one another. Except them….

Tim is heart eyes galore for his girl from the minute they hit the dance floor. Lucy is flying pretty high herself. Look at the way she is looking at him in that first gif. Transparent as ever at hiding her feelings for him. Tim starts off with the thing he knows is bugging her. He didn’t spend the day with her but he knows her. Knows it ate at her all day long. He also knows it's something he needs to rectify.

Lucy has simmered down at this point about it. It’s evident in her reply to him. Tim forges forward anyways. I do want to note the eye contact between these two. It never breaks as they speak to each other. It's so intimate. I love him gesticulating his fingers around her hand. Re-wrapping them around hers as he explains himself. It's a cute fidgety thing he does while trying to get what he needs to say out. It's the little things I love so much .

He starts out STRONG complimenting her. Not only complimenting her but saying she is in the top 5 he’s ever trained.(Psst. She was the best one.) No better praise she could receive in this moment than that. Lucy being Lucy has to make a joke. She craves his praise but also can’t handle it at the same time. I feel that girl I’m the same way. Tim is looking down at her with massive heart eyes might I add. Saying he wants her to have a successful career.

He wants to support her career the way she’s always supported his. No hesitation and putting her first. Look at the way she is beaming up at him when he says this. The way she's searching his face as he speaks. Gah how do these two not know they’re in love? Honestly. She looks so enamored with him as he’s talking. Their smiles and heart eyes are so loud. They’re screaming how they feel to the entire party.

Tim shocks her even further with his next set of comments. Lucy is already on cloud 9 as is. He’s asked her to dance, he’s complimented her in the best way and said he wants her career to be successful. She is in serious shock when he tells her he’s listing her on all future reports as the arresting officer. Lucy is in awe of this man right now. Not only for doing this but for how he’s grown. As a person and as a sergeant.

For him to step aside like this and give her the glory. To put her career ahead of his so she can succeed. The way she says ‘But you’re senior officer.’ Reminds me of her in 5x12 being in the same amount of disbelief replying ‘But that’s a desk job….’ Lucy can’t believe what he’s giving her and putting aside. He finishes it off with his version of I love you at this point. Saying she deserves to be recognized. What he's also saying is she deserves to be recognized by him. He's so damn soft in the delivery of his words. His body language also as relaxed as we've ever seen it.

The way he looks at her while he says this. Be still my heart. Screaming his feelings in this moment without realizing. Showing Lucy he hears her and has done something about it. That he cares, wants her to be a success, and that he’s putting her first just like she always has done for him. Lucy is sassy in her retort because she can be. (Ain’t no one else talking to this man the way she does) She is looking up at him with the same amount of affection he's shooting her way. Telling him 'You’re right I do. Thank you.' haha Look at her. She’s saying I love you right back in this moment. *sigh* These two.

Everything about this moment makes me squee. The non stop romantic looks they’re throwing each others way. The way they’re gazing into each other eyes the entire time. Forgetting everyone else there and the fact that they can see this love fest. Then comes the cutest most carefree part. Look at the smiles on these two! They’re so gone for each other at this point. I imagine this would be similar to how they’ll dance at Nolan’s wedding. With a little more closeness and kisses ha

Seriously though. Have we ever seen Tim this happy and relaxed? Only when he’s with her. It’s oozing out of him in S4. The laughing, the smiles, Lucy complimenting his moves. That glorious smile of his when she does. Be more in love you two. If someone just saw these gifs no context. They’d think they were a couple in love having the time of their lives on the dance floor. It’s hard to believe they were dating other people at this point. I mean look at this scene. They look so damn happy together. Truly just enjoying one another’s company.

Lucy is beaming with happiness when he spins her around. How he leans into her as he spins her around. Her laughter as she leans into him after he does. My heart is gonna implode from the cuteness everyone haha There’s a reason it’s one of my all time fav moments. It’s so sweet Imma get diabetic. Such a good episode I cannot. One of my favs of the season. For this moment alone right here. *sigh* I love them. Moments like this I knew were cementing them for s5. Slow burn at its finest.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

James and Nyla ❤️

Grey, Wes and James making the video while Silas critiques them is hilarious. Makes me laugh everytime cause they’re so bad LOL

Thank you again to everyone. You all are the best for your continued support. The likes, comments and reblogs are everything to me see you all in 4x19 :)

[nerdgatehobbit]

I was tagged by @old-man-ghost thank you!

Between me not having gifs to post and that recent post I reblogged on physical media, I’m going to do something barely within the letters but hopefully within the spirit of the tag game. The original game is posting gifs from your favorite movies without labeling them. I’m going to do a sentence or two per movie mostly so this post isn’t just this paragraph & a photo.

Beauty and the Beast (1991): This one should not be a surprise at all. <3

(If BATB 2022 had gotten a physical release it’d be here as well)

The Librarian trilogy: Are they good movies? Not really, but they feature my blorbo Flynn Carsen and without them the show wouldn’t exist. Well, excitingly there’ll be another sequel show soon.

4 Pokémon movies: I enjoy all four of these movies, although probably my favorite is 4Ever.

Muppet Treasure Island: So quotable and funny, I’ve loved this movie for a long time.

Robin Hood (1973): Another long-time favorite, I do enjoy the music & characters.

George of the Jungle: Quite possibly the funniest movie I’ve ever seen, to the point even explaining a joke becomes hilarious. It also has a lot of heart & thought put into it. Please note that nostalgia is probably a factor here along with most of these choices.

The Court Jester: Another excellent comedic film with heart. It is fun to see Glynis Johns & Angela Lansbury as the main female characters.

Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella: I enjoy all three versions I’ve seen (1957, 1965, & 1997) although my favorite is 1997 in part because I saw it first as a kid. Frankly, I think we should get a fourth movie based off of it if the movie industry is doing all these remakes anyway.

Love & Friendship: A very amusing adaptation of Lady Susan; it’s more biting than the usual Austen adaptation I think. While I definitely enjoyed Sense & Sensibility (2024), I think I need a bit longer than a movie to determine if it’s a favorite.

Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron: I love the original movie and have done so since I first saw it- which likely was within a year or so of its release. Its soundtrack, animation, story, and characters are all awesome. While I’ve gathered the recent cartoons go against the original movie’s message, I’ll be honest that didn’t stop me from getting my own little Spirit plushie.

Bridges Live: So what happened is that I got this back in January 2023, having adored BATB 2022 and spotting that Idina Menzel (Elsa!) is involved both on the CD and the concert DVD. It was such a good time that things spiraled from there regarding me obtaining Josh Groban content. I still need to watch them in Chess in Concert though.

Tagging @asokatanos @magic-owl @ladytharen @mylittleredgirl @hopecomesbacktolife @kiashyel @jadelotusflower @captains-clever-goose @ladyofthelake @fantasysci5 and anyone else who’d like to participate! (Feel free to do the gifs instead of my non-standard format)

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

Hey! Now that you’re back I wanted to ask about Resident Lover? I remember you were on the team- but then the game came out and your name wasn’t on the dev list... what happened?

I can’t escape this question can I- and for those of you who messaged me, I did delete them in hopes of avoiding this- but I don’t want rumours to spread so lemme be transparent.

Also pls read this for how I’m handling coming back to this blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/741337986608873472/complex-feelings-and-absolute-pandemonium-about-my

No, I wasn’t kicked off the team, nor was I invited back when I left- and they made the right choice doing that. I was not mentally stable. I didn’t take the project seriously, I had jealousy issues, and didn’t take criticism well- I self destructed badly- blew up and burned that bridge to ashes, not to mention what sorta hurt I caused the team.

It did hurt a lot when I saw the game release. I was so upset, and spent so many weeks thinking about “what if I didn’t fuck up”. But there are no “what ifs” in history, we are meant to go through what we do in order to become the best versions of ourselves. The whole ordeal was part of the last push I needed to finally seek professional help. And the fact it still hurts whenever I see it around means I still care and carry guilt about everything that happened.

I’m practicing exposure therapy to try and heal that gaping wound. RE8 has turned my life completely on its head and I don’t want to abandon it- the best outcome will be the day I can download and play the game and find it within myself to genuinely love it with no more wounds to lick- but for now I’m content with seeing it float around every once in a while on my dash.

Out of respect- I hope none of you will pester the devs about this either. They did something amazing, and I’m so proud of what they’ve accomplished. Out of all of them I really miss MJ. They were the best, most hilarious friend- I always thought they were super attractive- and the whole reason the game was possible. Show them some love- idk message them “you’re cool!” for me or something. Anon ask if you have to. Don’t tell them I’m the one who sent you- I think it’ll be funny to just have a whole buncha people messaging them outta nowhere bahaha

And with that I hope this clears it up and stops people from messaging anymore about it. It’s still a sensitive wound I’m working to heal and I’d like to do it at my own pace<3 I don’t regret the experience, I’m in such a better place now because of it. I would love to make peace with my past self and accept the pain as a part of growing.

Until then enjoy me going back to my usual shenanigans before all the shit hit the fan. I’m very excited to draw more Spider Donna and Beneviento Sisters, I hope y’all enjoy it too<3

Update edit: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737803172475781120/stupid-lil-update-i-wanna-do-as-per-my-pinned

Update! https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737980137572892672/people-who-knowknew-me-personally-probably-arent

Update that shows old sprite: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/738487941680316416/want-me-as-a-professor-okay-damn-ignore-the

Update where I rant about Angie and Daniela with a cat: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/740499151828156416/can-we-see-the-png-of-the-angie-sprite-holding-a

Update about the dangie ask on the RL blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/742312364040454144/hey-just-a-heads-up-that-the-rl-team-recently

[renata-has-thoughts]

W/c: ~1.7k Pairing: gn!reader x John Constantine

Includes: NSFW, Top reader, handjobs, masturbation, car sex (sorta…ig…car handjobs?). 18+ per usual.

A/N: I HAVEN’T WRITTEN IN FOREVER. I’ll spare everyone the details, but this was quite possibly the worst period in my life to start a Tumblr blog. Shits been crazy. I’ll try and get more stuff out soon, apologies!!

Your boyfriend’s travels never failed to enthrall you. Without a doubt, they always came with surprises, ill-timed quips, and incredulous feats of the supernatural. You took a liking to being his ‘getaway driver’, or, essentially, just the person who brought the battered, bruised, and exhausted man home back in one piece. Especially considering he never ended up getting his driver’s license. It allowed ample time for John to splay out his daily adventures to you from his indefinitely-claimed shotgun seat.

“-I made it so complicated, forchristsake, in the end it was just about giving the soul back up to him. Easy.” John complained, bringing a lit, half-smoked cigarette back up to his lips as a sort of punctuation.

“Odd,” you smirked, “you have a sort of instinct to give it up easily,”

Your hands were on the wheel, eyes on the road, but you didn’t need to have any resounding focus on John to know he was giving you a stare from hell and back. You were thoroughly amused, and paid no effort in hiding a smile.

“You think you’re funny, dontcha?” He replied breathily, as if he had been punched in the gut by your words.

“Mm, in fact, I think I’m hilarious,”

Defeated, John turned his head back to greet the cigarette he held in his hand, eyes once again taking in the road before you both.

It was late, empty, and one-laned, lined by bowing trees, limbs extended as if praising the sky above. It was quiet.

John’s passenger side window was cracked just enough to create an escape route for the smoke to retreat. You could hear the background chirp of crickets and low tones of faraway owls in the thick summer air of the backroads. The atmosphere was pressingly calm.

John never was too big of a fan of calm.

He reached over to fiddle with the car radio with his free hand, still taking draws from his cigarette with the other.

“I’m not sure we’re going to get many inner-city stations out here, Johnny. I’ve got CDs in-“

“There we go.” John interrupted, settling on a strong connection he found. The music was a soft lilt amongst the rest of the night, a soothing and permeable volume. “Wanna know a secret?” John asked rhetorically, retracting his hand from the radio to rest on his inner thigh.

“I don’t really have an option, do I?”

“When I was younger, Blur was one of my guilty pleasure bands.”

So that’s which band was playing. The melodic undercurrent of your drive.

“John, a boy band fan. I can’t believe it.” You teased, tilting the corner of your mouth up. “And to think you were in the punk scene all whilst getting a rise outta probably some tories kids. What a poser.”

John winced playfully. “I had a crush on…fuck, uh…Damon, right. I had a crush on him throughout my teenage years.”

“I’m exceptionally jealous.” You remarked with sarcasm dwelling beneath your words.

“Mmm, well, I don’t recall him ever giving me a blowjob that resulted in what felt like two orgasms at once…so…I think you’ve no competition.” He grinned with heavy-lidded eyes, likely referencing the last time you two had fucked.

“Thank god. You may be a slut, John, but you’re mine, right?” You concluded, sparing a glance to meet his pretty eyes. His darted away from yours the second you made to latch onto them.

You feigned a pouting expression. “That’s no answer, Johnny.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m a slut, just for you.” He sighed, but not without the hint of humorous understanding.

“Atta boy.”

John made a barely audible strangled sound. So small picking up on it would be more difficult than a city station in the furrows of a forest. But still possible.

“Can you repeat that for me?” You encouraged, suddenly vying to hear his filthy back thoughts.

“I said,” John began, pressing the cigarette between clamped teeth, taking the now independent hand down to grope aimlessly one, two times at his groin. He emitted a staggered whimper in a pleased, desperate reaction.

“That’s what I thought. I expect no less of you.”

“Fuckin’ hell…” John grumbled, muffled by his smoking as he continued his habits, fingers extending and contracting around the swell in his pants.

“What a predicament. Constantine is so needy he’s taken to near-jacking off in my car.” You mocked, “Albeit I’m not all that surprised, if I’m being honest.”

“I’ve been away from you for a week now…cut me some fuckin’ slack.” He sighed, returning his hand to his cigarette, his other free hand swapping to pick up the responsibilities.

“I get that, but all I said was that you’re a slut. Now you’re getting off-“ -John impeded your words with a garbled moan- “just to my insults alone. Which…yeah, makes sense.”

“Shut up, I know, I know…” John muttered hazily, now unzipping his pants.

“Shut up? I thought you were enjoying me rambling dirty things to you.”

“T-Turn of phrase, you bastard,” John huffed, palming at the waistband of his now-exposed boxers, toying with the mere concept of touching himself.

“So is that a ‘keep going’ or-?”

“Yes, for fucks sake, that’s a keep going,” John complained, taking a quick drag from his cigarette before thrusting a hand down his pants to aimlessly grope at himself. He added a small, “please” eventually.

“Christ, John,” you chuckled, driving with one hand, the other kneading at your forehead as you shook it in disbelief. “You kill me sometimes. I mean,” you began, resting your elbow on the console between you two, offhandedly gesturing towards him as you spoke, “…I mean, you can’t even wait until we get home?”

“Not when you’re calling me your slut and bullshit like that, n-no,” John moaned, his cock now out and clasped in one hand, cigarette to mouth in the other, with his head thrown back.

“Damn you, pretty boy. Damn you.” You muttered as you felt your body stir amidst his moans. You had another twenty or so minutes to go until you got home. No way you could hold out.

“Pretty boy…hmhnnm…I like that a lot,” his hand was moving lazily now, thrusting from head to base in a tired grip.

“I’ve gotta admit, John, you had me pretty fucked over when you were gone all this week. I swear my moans would’ve turned a deaf man to a hearing one. All ‘cause of you, of course.”

“Tell me how you’d touch yourself.”

“Fast.” You said with finality, reveling in the cacophony of curses that melted from John when you said that. “...and rough. Just like how we fuck, hmm?”

“Yeah, yeah, just-just like how we fuck.” John gasped, breath only coming in sporadic, far between bursts, separated by an asphyxiated period of whines. One of which was a jumbled mess of your name. Soft and uncharacteristically vulnerable.

You’ve never parked a car on the side of the road faster.

“Fuck you, pretty boy. Fuck you and your stupid fucking pretty moans-” You grumbled, unlatching your seat belt and then leaning over the console, finding a position with your knees facing him, hand swatting his away so you could take over jerking him off.

“I love it when you steal control of the situation from me,” John moaned, leaning back into the chair, eyes fluttering closed as you took the reins for him.

“I know you do, Johnny, that's why I’m doing this. I’d go as far to say I know you to a fault, right? Knowing all your…” you flicked several fingers over the head of his cock while thrusting your hand, much to his audible pleasure, “...weaknesses.”

“Know me too well, know me too bloody well, fuck!” He rambled, absently bucking his hips into your grip several times with less than poor composure.

Taking note of his unbridled desperation, you picked up your pace to something nearing brutal. His breath picked up as a consequence you easily reveled in. You didn’t stop exploiting his sensitive spot around the head of his cock, and ended up with a grin every time he whimpered. Thank fuck this backroad was empty.

A low rumble grew in Constantine’s throat as he bit his lip, trying to gather himself under your influence.

“Don’t bother with that dignity bullshit, love. You know I love hearing you.” You reminded, careening over to kiss his exposed neck, with his head thrown back, you couldn’t help yourself.

“Okay, yeah, yeah…please-please keep going.” John sighed, his moans making him tremble at this point. “I think ‘m gonna cum.”

“Then cum for me, make a mess outta my hand.”

“Fuck-yeah, I w-will,” he groaned. Soon after his back arched and his eyes snapped tightly shut, shaking as he did as he promised, spilling over your still moving hand. You kept going throughout his orgasm, using his cum as a lubricant. Slowly but surely, you winded down as did he. His back straightened out, and his eyes fluttered back open to meet yours.

“Well, thanks.” He mumbled, smiling broadly, with the hint of weariness in his voice as he calmed down.

“Anytime, Constantine.” You replied, returning his pleased expression. Before he could stop you, you wiped your cum-ladened hand over his trenchcoat, drying it. He opened his mouth to tell you off, but you silenced him with a passionate kiss. He gave up the fight and melted into it, but when you pulled away, he muttered something along the lines of, “this is my nice coat.”

“Alright. Let's get ourselves back home, shall we?” You said, resuming your position in the driver’s seat, buckling yourself in. John, too, righted himself, slipping his boxers and pants back on with a small, shaky exhale of contentment. You added, as you shifted back into gear and got on the road, “We can finish what we started when we get back.”

“...finish?”

“Yeah, gps says we’ve got 15 minutes to go. Think you can recover in that time frame?”

“Do I think I can recover? One look at you and I’m painfully hard, love.”

“You’re such a charmer, Johnny.”

“I try.”

[watatsumiis]

I honestly adore your bitey series, and saw your suggestions were open. Do you mind if I suggest Arlecchino, Beidou, Hu Tao, Rosaria, Yanfei, Kuki, and Ganyu for the Bitey Series? I'm super interested in your hc ideas gkjddfgkl (Don't feel bad if you wanna not write for some of the characters I just listed gjkfdkfjgljk I just went with six because each of your bitey posts also have six so I used it as a baseline jkfgjkdgjk) I hope you're having a good day/night!

Thanks so much for the request!! I’m more than happy to do this, I really had a lot of fun writing the bitey reader series, something about it just makes my little heart happy <3 It seems like you actually submitted seven here, which is alright!! Thank you for noticing about the number of characters i usually have per post, it means a lot to me kjdkdfs

I think i may have to give Yanfei, Shinobu and Ganyu a miss for now since I’m not familiar at all with writing them, but I’ll keep them on my list, don’t worry!

Content: Gender neutral reader who bites as a sign of platonic affection. 

Arlecchino is used to being bitten. She works with children who will bite for a large myriad of reasons. She may not like it, but she understands it comes from a place of not being able to verbalise a certain emotion. At first she’ll be concerned that there’s something wrong, and will try to pinpoint what it is. Eventually, she’ll move on to being mildly annoyed, shooing you off, and then finally just settling for it and realising it’s just a way of you asking for attention. If she’s busy, she may brush you off and move away, but she’ll make a note to give you the affections that you’re pining for when she has a moment. If you have a particularly close relationship with her she’ll let it fly if she knows you’ve had a bit of a rough/long day.

Beidou finds it kind of funny, though she doesn’t entirely understand it. She’ll just laugh like you’ve told her some kind of hilarious joke, shaking her head and tutting her tongue as she pats you on the head and jokes that some kind of shark or something must’ve gotten on board while her back was turned. Though if you consistently do it, she may ask if you’ve gotten into the liquor (she’s got a few crew members who get a little… bitey, once they’ve had a few drinks), or kind of semi-awkwardly try to redirect you onto something (or someone) else. Eventually she just resigns to her fate though, and you get to nibble on her to your heart's content! She’ll just sort of phase it out after a while.

Hu Tao kind of adores it - she lives for non-traditional acts of affection and the like, so will almost immediately try to get you back. She’ll turn it up a notch and just CHOMP down on you, giggling all the while. She thinks it's a very silly and fun way of communicating affection, and it feels strangely natural to her, as do most ‘unorthodox’ ways of making people know how much she likes them. She’s fairly well known for doing things like this in her own unorthodox way, and once she knows you're open to it, you'll often find yourself on the receiving end of one of her rather 'quirky' ways of showing affection, which include tying things to the ends of your hair (usually ribbons, feathers or charms for warding off spirits or bad luck), pocketing some of your belongings while you're not looking or just grabbing ahold of you or your clothing and clinging tight.

Rosaria is entirely baffled, and maybe even a little offended. She’ll pull away sharply and give you a stern look, but won’t directly say anything about it. If you try again, you’ll earn an annoyed sigh. Repeated attempts will reward you with progressively more annoyed reactions, eventually escalating to you getting bopped (mostly gently) on the head with a book or paper she has on hand. After that, if you do it again, she can and will just walk away. She doesn’t understand and doesn’t really have a heavy desire to try and understand - all she knows is that it’s bothering her and she doesn’t like it. If you're in a situation that she isn't able to walk away from, you'll likely find yourself getting scolded or grumbled at - don't get too upset though, she isn't really that mad, and will forget about it pretty quickly.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

[jmr-observingfromafar]

could we perhaps get a lil taste of the ronance fic your writing? im curious

AAA im so glad you asked :D also first ask hello !!!

vague plot: it's basically the classic post-canon (or at least post s4), Robin works at Family Video and Nancy totally doesn't keep coming in bc she has a crush, and Steve's being great as per usual helping them out with their gayness. it's nancy pov rn but who knows it might turn into duel bc i like robin's thought process too lol. also multi-chap is sounding more and more appealing but i have no clue what else to write. lots to think about

no clue if this'll ever see sunlight but this might just motivate me to finish it so here's some gay stuff:

“ “I swear to God, Keith makes us stock the top shelf just so he can watch us suffer, he’s weirdly starved for entertainment for a guy who works in a video store-” Robin cuts herself off as her eyes flit up to Nancy, words dying before they reach her parted lips. Robin must be cold if the thermostat’s on this hot, Nancy thinks as her face flushes, beginning to sweat under her top. She wonders, rashly, when the girl would've had time to crank up the heat between now and when Nancy walked in, considering Robin hasn't left her since. 

Maybe I’m running a fever. 

The idea shouldn't sound nearly as appealing as it does. 

Robin coughs slightly, darting her eyes to the side. She pushes the tape across the counter, uncharacteristically quiet as she continues to watch Nancy. 

“Thanks,” Nancy attempts, voice echoing through the silent storeroom. 

“I’m at your service, Wheeler,” Robin says with theatrical arrogance, and Nancy laughs behind her hand at the ridiculousness of it. It reminds her, hilariously, of Steve in his high school days, with Robin puffing up her chest and running a hand through her hair in a hilarious impression of her coworker. But this is infinitely better, she thinks, what with Robin being entirely too genuine– and just plain dorky– to actually be any type of “high school hotshot”. 

Nancy smiles inwardly, spacing out and just reveling in the way she holds Robin’s gaze...

Until she snaps up and realizes with a horrible jolt that she’s been staring directly at Robin in silence for entirely too long, and Robin’s stopped laughing, stopped all together, in her tracks. Robin's eyes have gone wide, locked on Nancy in a way that makes her feel stuck to the carpeted floor, and Robin's cheeks are dusted a pretty pink like she’s just put on blush and oh, no she’s surely embarrassed and Nancy’s gone and fucked everything up–

“Uh-” Nancy grabs the movie hurriedly, suddenly feeling wildly frightened. Robin continues to watch her, blue-gray irises peering at her through lashes that flutter and brush against her cheekbones as she blinks slowly at Nancy. Nancy clears her throat. ”

there it is! if anyone has suggestions for stuff they'd wanna see in the fic lmk and i might use it for some inspo :) interactions make me feel happy that people enjoy my stuff so pls dont hesitate to interact if you have Feelings about this and wanna give (polite) input!