#as much as i personally love malice
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I've always been transfixed by a charr commander fucking hating Ryland's guts, after the bullshit in Bjora and esp after Drizzlewood I just think that would be cool to explore. However I've never kept a charr commander so it's never been a legitimate option for me EXCEPT. I have Eon. And I have been wanting to insert them more fully into the story. It would be interesting for Eon as well because they have always felt that the Legions abandoned them, similar to what Almorra feels, and that theyve always been another disposable soldier, so having the perfect golden boy doing everything that's been told to him on the other side is something that sounds fun to explore.
#gw2#gw2 charr#eon#as much as i personally love malice#eon would have such a problem with everything#theyd rather see the legions burn than anything else tbh.#being the Perfect Soldier for the legions in drizzlewood for Morale.#it really makes them hate everything more#this is also really difficult to do with eon bc right now they look like they're going to a rave.#its just like the opposite vibe they stand out so much.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Isn't that loner guy looking over here? He wants some friends, I guess. Does he think we'll come over if he keeps glancing at us? That's impossible."
MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023). Episode 6.
#my personal weatherman#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#asiandramanet#dailyasiandramas#mlmsource#jdramasource#*#faiza gifs#HEAD IN MY GODDAMN HANDS THIS EPISODE HAS DESTROYED ME.#all of yoh's inner doubts. and his insecurities. and his low self-worth and low self-esteem.#and segasaki was and is NOTHING but kind to him. he's BLUNT. it CAN come across as rude. yes. but he SPEAKS in that manner.#there is no malice NOTHING ever like that. SEGASAKI I LOVE YOU. and YOHHH baby WHEN U REALISE! JUST HOW MUCH!#SEGASAKI LOVES YOU!!!! YOU WILL KNOW!!!!
225 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reverse is like when a (historical-ish or not) fantasy setting kind of implies itself to have a homophobic or misogynist societal outlook where like you get characters talking About being isolated or unaccepted for their romantic/sexual interests or how they're meant to be more than a housewife or etc, but you never really see much societal enforcement of these norms whatsoever beyond the broadest strokes of 'marriage is between men and women and women are supposed to be housewives, probably?'. Like it's just a vast open space for readers to project homophobia and misogyny on, but lacking in any real exploration or engagement.
Like I'm not saying like 'put in a gaybashing' and it doesn't have to be (and probably Shouldn't be) 24/7 pain and suffering and anguish, but if you want arcs about characters struggling with their sexuality or marginalized gender roles there should probably be more than just a loose implication of something they have to struggle Against.
#Less common in broader historical fiction/fantasy more common in LGBT+ oriented indie projects#Recently steamrolled through a webcomic that I liked a good deal but has this Badddd and I am nothing if not a nitpicker#Like wholly revolves around the main character profoundly rejecting women's gender norms and a side gay arc but everyone#who is aware of this is just like. Immediately pretty much down with it as if it IS normalized.#I also think people hesitate to have Good or at least caring characters reflect their societal norms and it's like... homophobia#and misogyny is not always Pure malice and hatred. When it's a cultural norm it's something that will be internalized to some extent#by all members of society including very kind and loving people. There's going to be struggling to understand loved ones or like#being homophobic/misogynist towards them in ways the person understands as for their loved one's own good and etc.#That doesn't make it A Good Thing but like a lot of bigotry is more subtle rather than being outright malice and cruelty
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.
like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.
and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.
(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)
#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp#and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats#being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME#vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters#and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes#being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and#looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice#and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like#'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.'#'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.'#'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically'#like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art#bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it.#do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark#mine#destiny 2#lightfall#destiny 2 lightfall#eos destiny essays
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities
#txt#was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn#and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting?#i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings#im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to#overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do#its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice#the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you#still lack#even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is.#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)#i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at#such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them#i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own#personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes#people really do find things that they love within them.#anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art#sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on#and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me#but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back#and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit#that it’s all worth it. ya know?
455 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
As an addition to my last reblog: I'd like to, as gently as possible, ask people to please reconsider when drawing someone cross-eyed/wall-eyed to indicate that they're either having a moment of stupidity or are in general not a comparatively smart character
I get it, it's hard to let go of your beloved cartoon roots, but I'm asking for this to be considered nonetheless
#ideally i'd love for media to not caricaturise people as some sort of 'low IQ' indicator#and to just treat their characters equally and not derogatorily based on perceived intelligence#i got sad and frustrated when this trope cropped up in dungeon meshi#mind i don't think people are actively doing this out of malice#more likely it's from people who purely learned the trope from existing media#and have not personally experienced having these sort of issues with their eyes#or knowing someone who does#and therefore not knowing how much it can sting that people think your crossed eye/lazy eye/etc makes you less reliable#and just lesser of a person in general
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
no context no details "these days ppl can't Work Through Conflicts or they don't Try hard enough & this is why Communities are broken :(" how is it meaningfully different from "look at the divorce rates Today vs in the '50s :( everyone just throws marriages away. Women aren't having Kids everyone just throws Families away"
"oh these days people can think about their experiences as Trauma or Abuse simply if they Want to :( you can't even talk to anyone anymore, if you make them uncomfortable (through no fault of your own. they're too sensitive & i'm simply always Being Normal) they'll be crying victim :(" how is this meaningfully different from "ugh how can a man talk to a coworker woman anymore or even look at her. how can men try to flirt with and date women anymore :( everythinnng's misogyny ohh harassment assault oppression because you breathed in her direction :("
#i don't even value the No Context ''community'' as necessarily worthier than these Marriages & Nuclear Families#if preserving any group as a community means like ''this person doesn't want any contact w/this other person?#what Disposability Politics they're engaging in :( foregone conclusion they must 'forgive' to maintain community :)''#then what tf is this community trying to be. if it can be destroyed by the truth...if it must be maintained by kindly facilitating abuse...#even setting [abuse] aside like so do you think anyone Can't insist someone else can't have interpersonal access to them for any/no reason#if you think it's for No Good Reason then like. what Connection do you think you might succeed in reclaiming there?#z for zachariah book ending. no scenario where Anything should be ''preserved'' via authoritative enforcement (much of any other kind?)#now thinking of aplatonic people. the ''friendships'' i had where Someone decides we're friends now & i'm Mean for being like tf?#other Stock ''Friendly'' Activities that if someone initiates it's Mean to refuse. presumptions it's Unfriendly to not live up to or w/e tf#then multiple Friendships where someone's abusive. won't take No for a [i don't want to give you a shoulder massage] Will be demeaning#not meaningfully different from [ways romantic relationships are supposed to work] or [family] or [coworkers] or [classmates] orrrr#again like ''social skills'' is to neurodivergence as ''financial literacy'' is to impoverishment#''Just be normal'' like which people / what experiences / whose voices must be Excluded for a ''Just Being Normal :)'' situation#community MUST be good like uh must family? marriage? romance? love? friendship? What community. what family. etc#''ugh Everyone can call Everything trauma/abuse'' that's right. we can consider context always. ohh Everything's sexist now smhhh....#ohhh i can't even uncritically say words i always say with 0 sense of malice or harm w/o some rword crying Ableism#no not Literal rword haha. Gay As In So Stupice lol. you don't call rworded ppl rwords it's bad taste etc theoffice.png
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.
#trying to be as vague as possible even tho this is someone I know offline and no one involved follows me online#on one level I get it that relying someone who is forgetful and does things slower/differently than you can be frustrating#but like its a medical condition. and u dont need to know someones medical info to have some empathy instead of assuming malice/incompetence#i just found out they have adhd today but day one i was able to go 'wow i did not like the way they handled that but i dont think they were#being hurtful/careless we just handle this task differently. rhey didnt do anything wrong and i can let this go and adjust my expectations'#not to say im perfect and never ableist towards others. my first reaction to seeing traits i dislike in myself (from my disabilities)#in others is often to get annoyed and needing to adjust my thinking#i get annoyed with myself when I cant focus / cant be coherent or concise / cant finish tasks quickly etc#→ get annoyed sometimes when I see others doing that → realize thats not fair to them → realize thats not fair to myself#→ assume good intentions and find ways to communicate/collaborate better with them → get along better and maybe make a new friend!#sorry i am rambling#idk its scary seeing someone being disliked for adhd symptoms/traits that im mostly doing a good job of managing/hiding in this#social environment so far and knowing that could happen to me in the future#but im also like ready to have this persons back#me 🤝 them: prioritizing the wrong tasks and overexplaining things and struglging to get our points across#and not noticing when we talk too loud and forgetting tasks halfway thru etc#not to be that guy but : without love it canmot be seen!!!!#lifes so much better if u just assume ppl arent doing things a certain way to be annoying + let go of / adapt to the thing that are annoying#but not harmful#thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life#just like dont assume malice. assume u dont have all the info. approach ppl/situations with empathy.#or youll make yourself more miserable needlessly#again like only for shit that's not harmful obv#i need to shut up and go to bed
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
—oc tag game
tagged by the usual angels @risingsh0t @simply-jason @aragorngf and @shellibisshe 🩵 thank u all sm this was so fun!!
tagging: @lizzywizzy @teamhawkeye @ghostfvcker @lesbian-croft @bloodskinandteeth @rosayoro @bunfey @aelyosos @florbelles @unholymilf @elluvians @nokstella @nuclearstorms @gcthamqueen @lxmbert @darksunning @serenedy @oc-musings @koudelka @leviiackrman and you!
—FAVORITE OC
🔮 sibyl delauvéy. she’s just been my baby cs i love the witcher universe so much, comfort game fr. it’s the perfect vehicle for me to tap into one of my favorite aesthetics of all time; mystical high fantasy that’s still kinda dark and gritty and UGH. i love her idk i love this game so much and love the idea of spellcasters
—OLDEST OC
⚡️lottie byers. technically she’s the oldest, cs i’ve had her name and her fc and her aesthetic for the longest. although conceptually she isn’t, but some ocs have developed and evolved and have sorta existed before i knew what ocs were but lottie is the oldest that i had inserted into the source material
—NEWEST OC
💥 nicole moore. truth be told— i still don’t know what i’m doing with her outside of giving könig a “he said no pickles” gf. and really that’s all i need don’t @ me just take her and run idk hehe
—MEANEST OC
💎 jen daniels. her attitude is simply unmatched and her dick game is huge. jk but really she walks into rooms guns blazing always and will set the mood to maximum hostility. always. it’s fun for her idk but also it made me chuckle cs i love mean women and los santos is the perfect environment for it cs everyone sucks
honorable mention: lottie byers.
—SOFTEST OC
☀️ andie la croix. she is the moment, the fan favorite, the sunshine motif. this is the oc that i have put all of the love i have in my heart into so i hope it translates into how she is perceived by y’all 🫶🏻
honorable mention: sacha leone.
—MOST STAND OFF-ISH OC
🔮 sibyl delauvéy. she genuinely is the biggest recluse of all time— it’s a miracle that anyone still knows where she is and how to find her. anna henrietta is the single exception to her endless string of “do not perceive me” glares and quiet exits from whatever the fuck she was dragged into today. so true queen
honorable mention: elvira hawke.
—SMARTEST OC
🏜️ rosalind tyler. the canon chemical engineer. do i have to say anything else LMFAO
🥀 mildred malice. her whole bag is reanimating corpses through medical procedure so DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE
—DUMBEST OC (AFFECTIONATE)
🔥 oslo avery. it’s… impulsivity that really gets them into Situations. cs the rapture is literally happening and they fight a one man war basically so like. yeah, they are Going To Do Something Stupid cs it would be funny and they need the laughs. “what, you gonna call the cops? i AM the cops.” you know
—OC I’D BE FRIENDS WITH IRL
🩷 bianca vionetti. she’s a good time gal and we love to see it. i did on purpose make her friend shaped and it works! it just works!
honorable mention: andie la croix.
#i was gonna do the three pic header style but i didn’t like the colors i was working with and it had already been too long so#just text 🫶🏻#wanted some personality tho i picked some emojis#anyways— i love u all so much mwah#thank u for wanting me to do this#oc: sibyl delauvéy#oc: nicole moore#oc: andie la croix#oc: bianca vionetti#oc: oslo avery#oc: rosalind tyler#oc: mildred malice#oc: jen daniels#oc: lottie byers
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
me to myself, full of joy and self love: there is something wrong with me. lol
#I like her I do!!! but I also like her and him and them#and I want to take a tour of the world and sleep with all my long distance friends who are into me#and at the same time I'm not talking to anyone like that except her#and she's good!! she's attractive and chill and down to earth and has a job and it's good right now#but what if I meet the man of my dreams in Chicago this summer?#what if I go with my brother to the gym and meet that guy I follow on insta and we instantly click?#what if I'm out skating and a hot nb person on their skateboard falls down bc they're watching me skate and super into it?#what if what if WHAT IF!!!?#there is something wrong with me#and I am not saying that with malice or disgust or even minor negativity just#its just true#it's kinda fun that it is true. it's okay#I wish she could be my friend again#I wish she knew I loved her#I wish you know how much I love you dear reader
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Monster Falls Apart & The Monster Exposed: forehead kisses and touches
#the monster falls apart#the monster exposed#ogeretsu tanaka#hadakeru kaibutsu#revisted this series because it's both hot AND heartbreaking AND fulfilling (and idc for her more recent series sdfhfnf)#anyways I really love kan-chan. I love the way his story is told from multiple POVs and how his character changed over time#I love how his story with Yumi is not just a black and white 'this person is evil this person is a helpless victim' story because it's more#complicated than that. it's about the cycle of abuse and about trauma and about how both of them were not right for each other.#sometimes loving someone isn't enough and you can't magically make them go back to the person they used to.#like I think Yumi stayed out of guilt and a false sense of pride even when he was for all intents and purposes emotionally cheating#and I think the biggest act of love Kan-chan was still capable of at that time was letting Yumi go and breaking up with him.#And then there's Shuuna. ah man. I like that he's sooo out of his depth lol#he's soo in love and he has no idea how to tackle the whole mess that an older Kan-chan is but like#the love they have for each other and the way they DO manage to get through to each other? yea.#you can really feel the difference in maturity at times and that's also a really well done characterization!!#I liked the one author's comment where it's said about him that he went through love on easy mode until he met Kan-chan haha#also the flashbacks... that's a lotta baggage. like I don't blame Yumi for not knowing and it makes sense Kan-chan won't forgive himself#but still. he was never just some evil guy who did that shit out of pure malice when he was experiencing so much abuse and pressure.#(which doesn't make his actions any more okay but it makes his character more complicated and tragic.)#oh and one final thing I love about this series and the connected stories: the thing about life is that it goes on and the people who leave#our lives still continue living in this world. and you may choose or just happen to never meet again.#and no matter who hurt who the memories of each other will remain. the bad. but also the good.#and hopefully you get to continue on making new- making good memories.
1 note
·
View note
Text
My problematic trait is that I will watch chaos unfold around my coworkers and not offer any help unless they look to me for it
#personal#its not out of malice or anything its more like#these 80 year old ladies are very stuck up and they value respect#so much so that i cant force myself into their work without them feeling disrespected.#this has happened when my other coworkers pitch in to help when not asked and later the old ladies bitch to me about it#so i just watch. and they mess up. and they give themselves anxiety. and they dont know things.#and they never really look to me for help.#but that also means they dont consider me a bitch so#i will watch them fuck up on purpose :)#the intricacies of respect and hoops i have noticed between the 50 yr olds ans the 80 yr olds is super super interestinf.#im in my 20s and im not about to start pointless bullshit. if you want to fail on your own go ahead.#i told my other coworker that i do not like the old ladies. they do not understand why other coworker puts their 2 cents in.#its because they are fucking up and they are arguing with people and need an outside solution to pitch in.#it will not be me to do that. because i love boundaries and if the old ladies consider that disrespect than i respect that line.#just gotta know how to play all of them#and the 50 yr okd coworker who always pitches in to help me i greatly welcome it. because if im fucking up. i need need need help#i will take it and thank you so much.#my autistic trait is to know the script for every human person around me so im everyones favorite person :) its less stressful that wau
1 note
·
View note
Text
gojo never imagined an arrange marriage with you, but now you’re all he can think about.
he thinks about you when he’s training, when he’s seated at his round table, when he’s in his bed, everywhere, every time, you’re all he can think about.
and you’re oblivious to it.
you heard the gossip everywhere you walked, about the girl gojo was pleading with his family to marry. how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, how much more elegant she was compared to you. you knew you were never his first choice, not even his fifth, but it hurt even more when everybody acknowledged it.
you stopped wearing your wedding ring, started acting like you were just another person there. luckily gojo didn’t seem to be in any hurry about making heirs, so pretending like you two were working things out didn’t even matter anymore.
you find yourself alone most of the time. your maids were kind and patient, but they had so many things to do throughout the day that you felt awful pestering them to walk around the estate with you.
eating dinners with gojo became normal, but most of your other meals were in silence, always feeling like a speck of dust in the large dining hall.
one day when you’re walking around aimlessly you stumble across the training grounds, the open space below you filled with men swinging wooden swords back and forth at each other.
it wasn’t difficult to find your husband, his white hair hard to miss in a crowd of others. he didn’t notice you watching from above, and so you stayed hidden, not knowing if the men were picky with who watched them.
he was swift and agile. everything he did was precise and with meaning. no wonder he was named the best warrior of the north.
you found this to be more entertaining than walking around the gardens for the tenth time or watching the cooks assemble the next meal, so you didn’t even notice how gojo looked up to see you, somehow slipping away without you knowing.
you were in a state of watching but not really thinking, almost jumping out of your skin when you heard his voice behind you.
“didn’t know i had an audience,”
you yelp, flinching as you look behind you to see your husband all sweaty, panting slightly as he moves his hair away from his face. you eye the stairs that led him up here, wondering how you could’ve missed that.
you laugh sheepishly, giving him an apologetic smile as you pick are your nails.
“i’m sorry,” you scratch behind your ears, feeling heat rise to your cheeks under his intense gaze. it’s unfair how pretty somebody can look, especially after training for an hour straight, “i was just walking around and i saw this.”
he waved it off, shaking his head as he leaned his sword on the wall.
“not a problem,” his eyes shine, “i just would’ve tried harder if i knew my wife was watching.”
my wife.
the words fall so smoothly from his lips you wonder how many times he’s said it before. with malice, hatred, necessity?
you smile a little bit, eyes crinkling around the edges as you look away briefly, not noticing the way gojo chased after your cheerful face.
“how’d you get up here? where are your ladies?” he asks suddenly, looking around at the fact that it was just you up here.
“my what?” you say, looking up at him through furrowed brows.
“you know,” he waves his arm around as if that would help, “you’re ladies in waiting,”
you scrunch up your nose a little bit, something he noticed you did when you were confused.
“oh, well, my maids are working right now,” you tell him, noting that he still didn’t look any less confused.
“no, not your maids, your ladies,” he tilts his head to the side, “the girls your family sent them up to help you around.”
you stare at him, unblinking.
“the girls that are your friends, the ones that help accustom you…” gojo trials off when he realizes he’s not getting anywhere with you.
you feel even more embarrassed than when he caught you watching him, hating the way you were clueless at yet another thing in this life that no one explained to you.
“the girls you hang around with?” he finally lands on, hoping this jogs your memory.
you shake your head, eyes wide as you fidget with the fabric of your dress. his eyes fall onto your finger, lingering on the fact that you’re not wearing your ring.
“who do you spend your time with throughout the day?” gojo seems even more lost than you. he’s seen you with…? well surely that one time…?
“by,” you swallow, embarrassed, “by myself. i walk around a lot.” you admit sheepishly.
“your family didn’t send…?” he answers his own question with his silence.
this entire time you’ve been alone?
he opens his mouth to speak but somebody beats him to it.
“satoru! get down here! we’re still not done!” his friends shouts from below, and you look over your shoulder to see all the men staring at the two of you.
gojo stares at you, unblinking.
“i,” he swallows but can’t find any words.
you can’t either.
he leaves you there, running down those stairs as he shouts at the other guys to resume what they were doing. that entire day he was off his balance because he kept looking up to see you there, but you weren’t.
maybe you were just walking around, like you said.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#satoru x reader#gojo drabble#jjk x reader#jjk drabble#gojo angst#arranged!gojo
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#having a rough one#feeling like shit frustrated by every day chores wondering when anything will feel like it's worth it#telling myself i can't rely on outside validation but it's the only fucking thing that makes me feel good and i just want to scream#i am sick of my fucked up brain and my maladaptive coping mechanisms and my stupid fucking feelings#i am so mad at him for hinting that he's back. like i never ever attributed malice to his intentions before#i always always gave him the benefit of the doubt but like what if that was always giving him way too much grace#motherfucker is trying to fuck me up at this point there is no other explanation#and the worst part is i know I'm not gonna call him out on it bc despite it all i still fucking love him#screaming into the void#personal
0 notes