#as long as it's not like...bullshit? i'll give her the benefit of the doubt

[bunnakit]

last twilight ep 10 thoughts, feelings, etc

back at it again at the krispy kreme friends. i cried this episode for so, so many different reasons. i'll also show you guys my raw reactions at the end of this, the insanity you guys don't see because i want you to respect me a little.

i didn't make one of these last week because i felt like that episode didn't need any words. some things you just need to feel and to talk about them cheapens what it truly is. that's not to say i didn't absolutely love everyone's posts and meta, i just thought anything i had to say could be felt in the episode itself and i didn't need to fumble my way through it.

Day is so at peace with what is going on and it's so beautiful to see, but the fact that he has to comfort his mother, that she's held onto this delusion that magically everything is going to be okay, is pretty irksome. she's had bare minimum a year, i think nearly two at this point, to accept the truth and she just hasn't and now it's biting her in the ass. but once again, this is something so realistic. i literally JUST dealt with this myself with my mother-in-law in October. once again P'Aof captures the truth of people and our natures.

and it's no wonder things have been so strained between Day and Night. she constantly forces Night to be Day's jailer, to escort him to his cell because the warden said so. it's a horrible position for her to put Night in and it's no wonder he feels so alone and abandoned by his family. it's no wonder Day resents him. Night is trying so hard to make them both love him again and he's been trapped in the middle of a war of attrition and paying penance for something that is in no way shape or form his fault. and then to later learn she HAS blamed Night? it's a horrible situation for him to be in, something he never deserved.

this was so sexy of Mhok, as most things are. you should have been there. it should have been you doing that for your SON. you should have taken the time to be there for him, to see that sight with him, to give him what he wants. but you weren't. you never are.

Day's mom stresses about Day's safety but safety is about so much more than a physical state of being. Mhok has done so much to ensure Day's mental safety and well being, he's done so much to improve Day's every day life. but that doesn't matter to her because she always refused to acknowledge things had gotten that bad. in another life Day never met Mhok and i wonder if things took a dark turn. i don't think Day was on a good trajectory.

here we reach bunn cries phase 1. i was so worried here that Mhok meant their entire relationship but i'm glad to see he just meant this chapter. they've started a new book together; no longer one about a caretaker and his charge but a man and his lover. what a gorgeous way to convey that journey. P'Aof i love you, do you know?

Night, i know i wasn't sure about you for a long time but you've really become one of my favorite people this episode. even Night can see his mom taking away Day's agency, can see her taking away everything Day has become this last year. he doesn't want his brother to disappear again, he just got him back.

god Day's bravery here. he's become so confident, so self assured, because Mhok taught him that he could be, that his blindness didn't make him weak. i know i say it every week lately but i'm so PROUD.

FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT. the way she took his phone away INFURIATED ME. you're taking away an important tool of freedom and agency from your FULL GROWN ADULT SON. where the fuck do you get off? and talking about doing things her way under her roof. if it was me i would be out of that house so fucking fast, staying with literally anyone else. the tragic thing is Day doesn't have that option. his disability has left him a victim of his mom's bullshit, given her a huge way to control him. it's disgusting, i'm sorry. i've tried to give her the benefit of the doubt for so long but she went way, way too far this episode.

even Night is sick of her shit and knows this is fucked up. Night once again i'm so sorry i doubted you. he knows how good Mhok is for Day and how good they are for each other. Mhok has only ever been kind to Night and i think that has gone a long way in Night's defense of him as well - not that i think he wouldn't have done it without that but i certainly think it has helped.

and what a fucking breakthrough this was. Day once again telling someone 'i see you.' Day is so good at seeing people once he lets go of his preconceived notions an biases. i can't imagine what a relief this was to Night to know it wasn't just his perception of the situation but something other people see and acknowledge. and he brushes it off, says it's because Day's a crying baby, but they both know that's not all of it.

bunn cries phase 2 is here. i BURST into ugly tears at this moment. it wouldn't be bunn meta if i didn't share a personal anecdote so here we go.

ANECDOTE START ->

i mentioned in my last post, prior to episode 9, that my dad was shit. i'm talking had me, an infant, in the middle of a meth den, in the middle of a raid level of bad. one of my earliest memories is a police officer kneeling down and talking to me while i colored in a coloring book and they searched the apartment. (my mom had no idea until a few years ago when a family friend shared this story. he protected me, thank fucking god.) my real dad went on to get clean (as far as i know) but was emotionally abusive among a whole slew of other issues.

when i was two years old my stepdad came into my life. he would've been just 27 at the time. he fell in love with my mom but wasn't sure if he wanted the responsibility of a kid. my mom said okay and broke up with him. they spent months miserable without each other (they've both told me their sides of this story) until my dad said okay, i can do this, and came back. and you know what? he was amazing. he didn't always get it right but he tried. he stayed up and read me The Hobbit and did silly voices for the dwarves and sang the songs and tucked me into bed and he loved me. (we have matching tattoos from that exact copy of The Hobbit, which i still have tucked away safe.)

we butt heads SO MUCH my teenage years. he had a temper and i was depressed and angry and dealing with so much teenage bullshit. but he still took me to breakfast every sunday, just the two of us, and we'd go see movies together. sundays were our day. he always called me his kid and people joked that somehow magically my mom had his kid before even meeting him. we even look alike. we have all the same tastes.

now as an adult we get along really well. (we still butt heads but it's bc we're exactly alike.) he and my mom have been together almost 30 years. he recently came into my office, a little tipsy, and hugged me and spent almost an entire hour telling me how much he loves me, how proud he is of me, how grateful he is that he had me as his kid, how having me is better than any blood child they could've had. (they tried for years but my parents were never able to have any kids.)

<- ANECDOTE END

some of the best family in the world is those that choose to be your family. i was never his responsibility, not really, but he put everything into being my dad. from just this little statement from Night i see so much of my dad in this moment and i couldn't fucking take it.

Night, i love you. i love you so much. he says it so effortlessly, so confidently. what a man.

so i acknowledge here that their mother is finally starting to get it. she's starting to get things right. she even makes Night's favorite food and makes sure he knows he's loved. she takes the time to try and understand Day, to blindfold herself like Mhok did, etc. and i acknowledge it takes people their own time to come to terms with things, to accept things, and maybe her journey of acceptance was a little longer than others.

however.

this scene shows that she always had the option to cancel. she could have always done this for Day. she could have been there. she could have taken him to the mountain and seen the sunset with him. i have to wonder if Mhok's comment really got to her, i have to believe it did. i think she finally realized that she can no longer be the one that's blind. she has to see reality. it's a big step for her and i'm happy but i'm still so annoyed it took this long for it to happen. but hey - parents fuck up. they do. they fuck us up, even if they don't mean to. once again it's something very, very real from P'Aof, even if i don't like it.

my first knee jerk reaction to this moment was wow, she's infantilizing Day again, but then i sat and really thought about it. in the context of this moment, i think this is okay. sometimes it's just nice to be cared for and Day seems completely receptive to it. fuck, i'm 31 and sometimes i just go curl up with my mom and let her pet my hair, sometimes she makes me my favorite food because she knows i had a bad day, sometimes she babies me a little because she knows i'm having a bad day with my disability.

not everything is infantilization. sometimes it's love and care, the only way they know how. sometimes all you want is a parent's familiar love from years ago. so in the context of everything, i think this was a really nice moment to see, Day taking comfort in his mom's love again.

and despite everything Day still managed to see Mhok, to show him he cares, he thought of him, and wouldn't leave him alone. and then he gives him an oven mitt he made himself, he painted himself, because Mhok took him to learn to paint without his sight. they're so fucking beautiful, so kind and gentle and loving to each other. they're so fucking considerate. Day says you're my sun, i believe in you, i'm proud of you, i support you all in one seemingly simple gift.

i'm reserving my thoughts from the preview for next week but i highly doubt things are going to turn out the way they seem to be teasing. i'll wait to see what happens.

as always thank you so much for reading my rambling bullshit. smooches, take care of yourselves, drink water, take your meds, eat something.

tag loves: @nutcasewithaknife @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious

oh yeah here are my raw reactions before i take the time to really think about everything i've watched.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

we need to have an honest conversation about hostile attribution bias, honesty, and bullying.

@deliciouskeys i've had enough of this shit. you wanted to piss me off. now i'm pissed the fuck off.

hey, hiiii. friends of hers? critics? whoever you are reading this and willing to hear me out, i just wanna start by saying don't hate on her or anyone for this. don't send harassment, don't send anon hate, don't even unfollow her if you do read this all the way and find yourself upset with the topics discussed or her actions.

or maybe you wouldn't anyway, and you've already decided i'm insane, fine. but if you are friends of hers, don't barrage her with verbal abuse of any kind even if you are disappointed or disgusted, i'm not about that. and good friends won't just coddle and take your side to enable the bullshit, but they won't try to hurt you when you're down either

and to clarify what this is? it is a harsh criticism of ongoing behavior i have faced from her behind the scenes. or out in the open i suppose but mostly unseen or dismissed.

yes, i have the motherfucking receipts. i've tried to condense them to what i found most relevant to the topics at hand without clipping the interactions so much that they would give a biased misrepresentation, but all conversations as of this moment and to the best of my knowledge are still available to view in full context. mine certainly won't be deleted.

i may have some bad takes sometimes cause i'm as perfect as anyone, which is to say NOT AT ALL. but i'll readily admit that and the fact that i work on it, CONSTANTLY. and before anyone decides to dig through my shit to see if they can find dirt on me IRRELEVANT to this situation to DISTRACT from what's being called out?

all i ask is a fair chance and moment of your time to show you what i've been through, because it's something she never gave me from day one. and bear in mind please, that i am pissed off because it's gone on long enough and now she's trying to drag my friends into it while CONTINUING TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK and feign fucking ignorance.

no more.

deliciouskeys? you. yes you, i am addressing you directly this time. i gave you a peace offering with the mike sully meme, and you just kept going.

since i poked my head into the boys fandom, you have been hostile to me, LIED about me, put words in my mouth, accused me of hostility towards you, assumed my intent while not only withholding the benefit of a doubt, but consistently. consistently putting me down and insulting me as some sort of estranged fandom villain who only exists or popped up to oppose you or ruin everything.

i'm not a fucking cartoon character, i am a person. i do not exist to supplant you or whatever weird shit you keep imagining me to be that makes you act like this.

almost every single thing i say to you, instead of actually LISTENING or i dunno, READING IT AT FACE VALUE, you take. hyperanalyze. and immediately give it the WORST interpretation you can. and that's if i'm lucky.

i'm not here for fandom wars and shipping bullshit. i'm not here for your false dichotomy fantasy. i'm here to be a bullshit shipper and have fun and try to get others to be more open and have fun too. maybe throw in a psa here and there for the things i find important.

i'm not here to get fucking bullied either or to watch others get bullied. you can take your assumed hostility and narcissistic PROJECTION and shove it straight up your ass if you think i'm going to tolerate it.

and what is 'hostile attribution bias'? it's this shit.

oh, and you don't have to assume it anymore. i'm fucking hostile. why am i hostile? oh... at this point, i KNOW you KNOW. but not everyone else does, so let's just lay it all out and let others draw their own conclusions. hm?

this was what set you off, right? the automatic assumption that this was someone i knew, looking out for me? i suppose that's possible but that doesn't mean i know exactly who it was or that i put them up to it.

and y'know, i might have even said that anon was a bit harsh and still given you the benefit of a doubt. anon was ANGRY and that's clear, but plausible deniability is so wonderful, isn't it?

but you've gone beyond that point. it wouldn't be the first time someone's noticed your behavior, and i can guarantee that. our first conversation was on my post about the comics and what they meant to me, sparked from an interaction i had with another fan of the show who refused to read the comics but still insulted them directly to me.

the bottom piece is from the post, the top would be the snippet of conversation with the other person prior. all of these are highlighted with slightly adjusted coloring for ease of understanding who's who. and granted, you could argue that i jumped the gun in my first response to you, but then you accused me of being hostile towards people who allegedly read and disliked them. and i had done no such thing, i literally was not addressing those people at all.

that was the first time you put words in my mouth, lied about what i said, and 'villainized' me for 'attacking people' made of straw i might add, when the post itself SPECIFICALLY STATED:

MISCONCEPTION.

so not the people, but the IDEA. an actually legitimately incorrect idea given context. i could go into a rant about how the comics cover one of the single most important and detrimental concepts to humanity (the war machine) and how american media is so piss watered down, propagandized and censored for babies and pearl clutching old people (and before you clutch your pearls over me 'attacking' babies and the elderly, i am not. i am criticizing AMERICAN MEDIA and PURITAN MENTALITY) that the comic itself was relatively tame outside of the american world view bubble, but that's not the point here, is it.

the 'many many' actually refers to people off of tumblr too, though i'm sure there's a fair share here of that mindset as it's found everywhere with everything. even then, i don't condemn the people. minds can be changed for ideas, that was what i was trying to do. maybe i need better methods and i can admit that.

still you chose to lie to my face or what, attempt to gaslight me?? whatever it was, it was enough for someone ELSE to step in and literally ask if you were BULLYING me.

and me, being the naive fucking moron that i am and thinking we ended on a nice punny note and the conversation wasn't so bad STILL gave YOU the benefit of a doubt.

did you extend the same courtesy to me later on? well, let's see.

no. no you did not. snippets of a convo from an anon ask you got on a proposed canon butchlander from when i tried to join in, you immediately accused me of things i have never said or done or even implied. and when i called you out on it, you immediately apologized (good on you, not included here but i DO acknowledge it and DID appreciate it) and i thought, "oh cool! we must be explaining ourselves to try and better understand each other so this doesn't happen again."

only for you to then backtrack and jump back on that ASSUMED HOSTILITY shit you seem to just LOVE huffing. but just for me i gather. maybe a couple others that i haven't seen or don't know about.

considering this is just the stuff i DO know about.

moving on.

you have questions? oh, what a cowinkydink, i have answers. if only you had just ASKED ME DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND LYING.

but to give some clarification to the numbered ones.

love the framing here. OF COURSE, WE are ONLY here to be a NUISANCE. must be nice being a real human who can interact with others instead of solely "bother" them. if you'd actually read the post, you might have seen it was about the BULLYING itself, not the bullshit that apparently makes you rabid enough to be a bully. great use of being obtuse.

stop putting words in my mouth. stop fucking lying about me. stop assuming my intentions. stop painting me for your weird ass personal agenda or vendetta. stop making up bullshit about me when you haven't taken two seconds to get to know me. i did no such thing as 'slur the cishets'. proof is in the fucking pudding.

ahhh... i understand why you don't block people. and i think i'm understanding the insidious behavior and bullying too. you're disgusting to people who you don't want to see the content of so that they'll block you while you get to pretend you're still on your little high horse of being the "less petty" or "bigger" person. and that way you don't have to see their content anymore, right? having your cake, and eating it too. it's smart. it looks good on you as long as people don't see the behavior, like you might actually want to solve problems.

although, if i'm to understand all this correctly, you don't want to given the continued hostility towards me regardless of what i do or say. am i getting this, more of that delectable plausible deniability? or am i giving you too much credit? do you even want the benefit of a doubt at this point? because you stated before you'd rather be considered evil than stupid.

oh, my mistake, "disgusting" than "ignorant". let me not do what you do and put words in your mouth. clarify for me, if you want to.

personally, i think ignorance is more forgivable than malice because at least the uninformed can learn better, while those with ill intent will seek to harm again, but to each their own i guess.

and if you actually have brain damage over a nonsensical but ultimately harmless shit joke online, i'd suggest seeking actual help from a doctor because that isn't normal. but i'm going to be generous and say maybe it was a bit much or gave you a recurring nightmare or something, i don't know you, in which case yeah, get help if you need it. i take mental health very seriously so i'm not joking or being sarcastic here. happy healing and sorry for the trouble if that's the case on this specific thing.

but oh! you just don't want to see it, right? TOO BAD BITCH, I GOT MORE TO GIVE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!

and i don't have a problem with you writing your personal views about a pairing, any pairing. if that were all you had done, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation or, if you don't care i suppose i wouldn't be screaming into the void.

but you explicitly stated your point of view was "pretty common", that defaults my view as "uncommon" or in other words, "others" me and those who like bottom billy. don't you dare deny that when you know for a fact it's true.

then citing reasons for why you believed your view was more "accurate". you then went on to claim you were "baffled" when if that were true and you were actually interested in TRYING to UNDERSTAND? YOU WOULD HAVE JUST FUCKING ASKED ME DIRECTLY.

not that i would owe you an explanation or apology, or anything. but i'd have been NICE enough to try and answer anyway to the best of my ability. here, i'll do it now.

i'm not a big fan of bottom homie for the same reasons i'm not at all a fan of (show) homewell. apart from the whole superdick/compressing anus thing, narcissistic abuse/grooming and exploiting someone's trauma for a toxic kink is not only a huge turn off for me, it's super fucking triggering based on my experiences and what i have been through. i've had enough people looking down on me and telling me they "know what's best for me" while trying to rob me of my humanity and use me for their gain.

the funny thing is that i relate to homie in that sense but consider myself a total bottom who also LOVES the 'dom mommy' in certain context, but i also share a lot of similarities with butcher as well and know they both have a lot of very intense differences from me. and homie has a fucking vibrator for a dick. you CANNOT make me want to miss a chance for that, it's just not going to happen. and if i ever want to explore any form of 'grooming' kink from a personal place? i'll stick to thanos and mistress death, thanks.

i also don't find toxic masculinity sexy, that's a red fucking flag for me more glaring than the entirety of homelander, i find POSITIVE masculinity far sexier and true 'top' like. MM has the most of that in my opinion and is the sexiest man on the show, besides the guy who plays black noir under the mask.

i also fully understand the kink on the other end, y'all wanna baby him cause he's never had a mommy and longs for some kind of nurturing parental love, and y'all also wanna fuck him cause he's hot. so ya smash the two together and embrace the infantilization kink (which is seriously not my thing)

and listen, more power to ya. if that's what you like, enjoy it. i'm not judging. i just don't have the same fucking taste and i'm entitled to that. i don't understand why you have to comment on it or be "baffled" by the idea that people can be different from you.

for the record, i don't want to smash the two ideas together, i want to help homie SEPARATE and DEMUDDLE the legitimate problems and confusion in his brain that makes him so vulnurable to women's manipulations, and help him grow the fuck up without wanting to fuck his own mother (if he hasn't already) or keep him baby minded forever. i want to untap his potential and see the man he can/would become depending on circumstance.

because i like redemption and character growth and am a sucker for second chances regardless of liking dark media, and there's a huge difference between "i like you" and " i like that you like me".

that requires a more careful handling than anything suface level, but regardless i don't enjoy exploiting trauma kinks or reinforcing toxic masculinity any more than i would enjoy yiff or snuff. i wouldn't judge someone for having the taste as long as no one real got hurt. but that doesn't mean i have to have their taste.

stop kink shaming me or being "confused" by my preference, i haven't done the same to you. and before you pretend you haven't or that i have.

if you were "seriously trying to understand" you would again, ASK ME DIRECTLY instead of this roundabout bullshit where you talk about it and 'how confused or tired' you are, but can't be bothered to take two fucking seconds to JUST ASK for a more serious answer beyond willem dafoe.

if i wanted to shame you for having a kink, i wouldn't be subtle about it. but i wouldn't anyway because i wouldn't even shame those who have a rape fantasy because i have one and have written and read plenty of it. i file it under 'horror pr0n' with a number of other things, and not every form or 'flavor' of horror pr0n that exists is going to be for everyone, much the same as fucking regular horror. but if it's FICTION, it shouldn't matter.

i understand that and if i judged others for having different tastes or acted... well like YOU, that would make me a hypocrite.

and your friend got it PERFECTLY on the first note. and then decided to enable the bullshit yet again by subscribing to the bane of human unity, tribalism. thanks for reinforcing the idea that this HAS to be a dichotomy WHEN IT'S NOT.

a little healthy teasing and competition? i'm game. it's too bad that's not what this was.

i am not your fucking enemy just because YOU decided i was, YOU do not get to decide that for me. but i'll give them the benefit of a doubt and say they were 'just joking', right?

that's ALL it ever is. "just jokes". but JUST when you or "your side" do it. it's not like you've ever been derogatory and petty about "your side" being the "good side" of fandom.

if you have to constantly reinforce and self assure how "good" you are compared to "others" specifically not part of your niche bubble?

you're an asshole who's not actually "good", full stop. if you have to measure your self worth based on what others do or comparing yourself to them, actually seek help because that's not healthy. just my two cents

but if you want to get technical, NO ONE IS RIGHT AND NEITHER BILLY NOR HOMELANDER IS TOP OR BOTTOM IN A TRADITIONAL SENSE, not just because opinions and preferences can't be right or wrong. because butchlander isn't fucking canon, isn't going to become canon, and as far as we know, both characters are confirmed 100% STRAIGHT within the show with toxic masculinity issues a mile long and would never wanna touch each other like that with a 10 foot pole, and homelander's shown exactly ZERO interest in actually being pegged thus far, so that idea's a headcanon.

even herogasm showed us that 3 on fucking 1 STILL wasn't enough to take him down and homie freaking out over a bruise from an unfair challenge of 3 on 1 because it had logically been a very long time since he'd been hurt makes reasonable sense on a basic surface level. he's then over it by the time maeve makes him bleed and carries on bleeding, and now butcher's dying and is the most vulnurable and literally weak because he's sick of the bunch, so... headcanons? headcanons are fine but let's not forget reality and then laugh at the people who remember it.

and if you had just asked me why i even brought up lovely amazing beautiful cishet women (not at all sarcastic, see above purple posts), instead of YET AGAIN. ASSUMING MY INTENT AND PUTTING A LOAD OF CRAP IN MY MOUTH. you can have that back by the way, what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

or for clarification on why i brought it up? i could have TOLD YOU MYSELF. because unlike SOME PEOPLE, when someone just ASKS a question or gives a neutral or even heated response? I DON'T ASSUME HOSTILITY OR TAKE IT PERSONALLY FROM THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SPORT.

fact (and correct me if i'm wrong): majority of people participating in shipping fandom are cishet women.

this is a simple fact, it doesn't mean anything beyond that, i specifically said both times there's nothing wrong with this.

a majority of people are cishet, so this is to be expected. it still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people.

fact: society has issues, ideas, and expectations that affect and harm us all. cishet, or queer. and these issues will and do present themselves in fandom and fan fictions whether we realize that or not. heteronormativity would be one of those. misogyny is another.

and one of my kinks is challenging that, or at least the way i see to challenge that while dunking on redpill idealogy and toxic masculinity because i fucking can.

and i just LOVE how you tout about having the "pReTtY cOmMoN" perception which newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO HETERONORMATIVE IDEAOLOGY IF YOU THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A REASON A MAN WOULD NEVER BOTTOM. you'd be surprised what people could get up to behind closed doors. but then you turn around and not only put more words in my mouth, enable anon to put words in my mouth, discourage getting a direct answer from me, accuse me and my friends of being the type to randomly accuse someone else of doxxing??? wtf even is that.

and of course. given your 'pretty common' perception being the total opposite of heteronormativity, it MUST mean that society has resolved all of its issues and come to accept queer people exactly as they are in all forms with no expectations or interference whatsoever, oh yeah. places like florida or uganda just totally don't exist. the u.s. isn't on the verge of becoming an actual fascist hellhole for us, and it is TOTALLY just... no one oppresses us. no one.

ESPECIALLY not the cishets.

and despite all the evidence to the contrary, you especially have done nothing wrong here and its all in my head. is that right? can you clarify for me? do you think that my situations have put zero pressure on me in my day to day life? on my friends' lives? do you think you didn't add to that? do you think you and company are the only ones that feel or react like humans?

imagine being so far up your own ass you tell the queer HOW to queer. or at least be a GOOD queer, right?

oh, i'm sorry let me not put words in your mouth. you were of course only laughing at me behind my back for the 'anti-cishet' things i never said.

and no. OBVIOUSLY i wasn't saying any of the shit you accused. i was saying i prefer SUBVERSIVE themes when i do my tops and bottoms and a more detailed look at that can be found in my purple all over responses or just the posts themselves, but if you still want to ask me anyway, i'll answer to the best of my ability.

and what a coincidence that despite you understanding top/bottom not just being related to penetration and some people will feel certain dynamics may be reductive, how ironic that you couldn't possibly fathom that as one of my main complaints.

you don't WANT to actually understand. you just wanted a circle jerk of confirmation bias.

this anon hit the nail on the fucking head. and you wanted to fight them?? i could have overlooked this but i wanted to touch on something really important because i don't know what anon may have seen but i once saw you answer an ask about homelander's redeemability and you cited "tough love" as a means to get there.

and as a former addict and narcissistic abuse survivor (specifying for context), i can tell you first hand "tough love" is not a real thing, and it's not discipline either because that requires teaching and providing tools for rehabilitation. but don't just take my word for it.

from a psychological perspective and to hear actual professionals go over the concept? "tough love" not only DOESN'T work. it is an excuse to be nasty and abusive to someone under the guise that you are only doing it to help them, when all it really does is make you an abusive fuck.

this would be why the SHOW had HOMELANDER of all people saying it, why what billy did to ryan is presented the way it was with HUGHIE of all people, the guy who was at the time dealing with a huge wad of toxic masculinity issues up his ass, 'got it'. and even BUTCHER'S DAD is presented as the piece of shit that he is who gladly passed on his curse to butcher like it was a 'gift'.

even the comics got this when they present butcher doing his scumlord over 9000 move to hughie and annie saying "cruel to be kind" about his own bullshit. no. no no no. he did NOT do that for hughie's well being. he did it for himself because he was a selfish prick.

and i want to be clear. i am being an asshole here and i fully recognize that. that's for ME to feel better because i am fed up with your bullshit. because you have spent your time poking and prodding me for a hostile reaction. well congrats motherfucker. you got it.

and there ain't NO fucking love there.

i won't be your enemy. but i am NOT your friend either. clearly YOU wouldn't want that anyway.

but because i always have to add in that disclaimer for basic human decency? EVEN WITH HOW I FEEL and what the actual science says about "tough love", i would still never tell someone they can't use it in fiction, presented as a toxic kink or whatever the fuck else. even if it triggers me. even if i have a thousand different reasons to criticize it and voice that in a separate space.

people can do whatever the fuck they want and i can't control that. neither can you.

but i don't have to engage with the content or speak positively on it or keep my mouth shut, and i'm not gonna harrass people or pull the kind of insidious bullshit you do either.

at the end of the day, this is fiction. and if you feel the need to run an entire fucking smear campaign about me over fiction and preferences??

stop lying about me

stop putting words in my mouth

stop talking about me behind my back

stop predetermining who i am for me

stop assuming hostility when i will flat out tell you my intent and you can just ask, that doesn't just go for me.

stop fucking gatekeeping and gaslighting.

I DON'T HAVE A DISHONESTY PROBLEM LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

and fuck you.

neither me nor any of my friends or these anons are crazy and i will not sit around while you try to fucking gaslight me or anyone else. try it again, i fucking dare you.

bottom billy lovers existing is not an attack on you. it never was. you don't own the tags. FUCKING DEAL.

this behavior? is UNNACCEPTABLE.

as for fandom? a few more things i want to cover. i couldn't have said it better than a friend of mine who while a little hectic and crazy sometimes, has been nothing but a sweetheart<3 that i just want to encourage and motivate to art or post pictures of her billy butcher kitty babygirl incarnate but unfortunately due to circumstances may be regressing back into her shell.

a message i will never stop promoting, whatever iteration it comes in, whenever it comes up.

i may disagree with what you are saying or doing, but as long as you are not harming anyone, i will fight wholeheartedly for your right to say or do so.

that is the philosphy of true freedom, THAT is what i subscribe to. and it pisses me the fuck off when i see people trying to punish or hurt people for things that hurt no one. we don't get to decide how other people want to live their lives. we can only navigate and hope we might find a friend along the way.

and THAT is the single greatest picture of captain america ever fucking created. no i will take dissenting opinions.

in regards to assumed hostility or hostile attribution bias, a more lighthearted and easily digestable demonstration is below.

gais... just don't do it. don't automatically assume that someone means you harm or pain simply because they disagree with you. this is what leads to more problems. this is what leads to human tribalism. this is what divides us. this is what destroys us. this is what leads to wars. fandom shipping bullshit or otherwise.

the fucking stupidest invention of humanity, fought over goddamn unholy wads of paper and scribbles of ink because people couldn't accept that their ideas weren't accepted by everyone else, and anyone who didn't fall in line got the axe. or alienated. or excommunicated. or accused of being a witch. or whatever.

but this is the kinda shit we need to nip in the bud at the most basic level we can, every time we can.

it's called intolerance of the intolerant. and it's how we stop hatred from fostering and the intolerance being tolerated and eventually taking over.

because assumed hostility? it IS intolerance.

people are not made from ideas, it's the people who make or break the ideas, not the other way around. and ideas can change.

that should never be seen as a bad thing because it's necessary for positive changes and better understanding as time goes on.

challenge yourselves and the way you think, listen to newcomers and welcome them, have healthy discussions, learn to agree to disagree. it's not that hard.

and i know, i get it. it's not easy, not that simple either. everyone's on edge, people are sickly addicted to hatred and anger because they are EASY. giving in to them doesn't require self control or any form of discipline, it is as simple as instinct. it IS instinct. but if humanity has ANY hope of moving forward?

we HAVE to learn to give people the benefit of a doubt. we HAVE to learn to listen to each other, *actually* listen and hear *exactly* what others are saying. HAVE to learn to identify the difference between a differing *non-hostile* opinion and actual *intolerance*

because the world has already seen what happens when we FAIL and eventually we WILL run out of chances to get it right.

please at least TRY to give the benefit of the doubt in an appropriate situation.

i'll lead by example.

keys? even you. even now, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt DESPITE how you've treated me AND my friends now. because MAYBE you were actually key in the sketch and just having a bad day each time we interacted or MAYBE you have some sort of trauma getting triggered whenever you see my shit or we interact or whatever the fuck it could be, MAYBE you are feeling the pressures of a self discovery coming out journey and it's manifesting badly (yes i did notice that and if this is the case i would still wish you nothing but good will and luck with that, not sarcastic), or some combination, there's a million reasons and i don't know you, so i'm not going to assume or say anything for certain.

unlike some people.

but i don't think you're stupid. on the contrary, looking at your posts, my first 'assumption' was that you are actually very well educated and were just enjoying having fun and being silly. later and based on some things i saw, it occured to me that your education/upbringing may put you at odds or at a disadvantage with connecting with people online or having them understand you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, it just means you're speaking different languages.

even the "tough love" thing could be a miscommunication/malapropism. it could also be internal denial because you had a loved one do that to you and still haven't come to terms with the actual abuse you were experiencing because "they knew best"

i've been there. but maybe i'm the one who's projecting just to give you the benefit of a doubt. is it fair for me to take out my own frustrations on random people? fuck to the NO. which is why i TRY regularly to keep that shit in line and my life private.

so i absolutely will not excuse you for being so blatantly dishonest about me either behind my back or to my face because even if you do think i'm being hostile (when i'm not), there's no excuse for that. no, i wouldn't excuse myself either.

that needs to stop in a general sense, and i know you KNOW you are doing that because you'd have to *actually* be the biggest fucking illiterate moron on the planet to not know at this point.

especially when i reached out to you before to try and resolve this calmly and you ignored me and then continued lying about me, yucking it up with anons and buddies like high school mean girls. officially. unironically. instead of doing an ounce of self reflecting.

and i didn't include those messages, but the continued disingenuity and callous misrepresentation is there. and especially the carving into my character to define me however you want without giving me a voice to speak for myself.

stop it. you know it. i know it. maybe you think i'm some country bumpkin cousin hick fucker who happens to conveniently be queer but is remarkably stupid or an easy target.

and maybe i am stupid for ever giving you the benefit of a doubt, but you don't get to rob me of my humanity or basic courtesy.

because YOU'RE human too. and you have a right to your thoughts and feelings and opinions, and i get that, and i support it

even if by some fucking bizarre coocoo for cocoa puffs alternate reality, butchlander were to become canon the way I saw it? i wouldn't gloat or celebrate or try to rub it in your face.

I would encourage you to keep liking what you like and keep being yourself, maybe even harder than before.

even knowing you wouldn't do the same for me. at least from personal experience. see any of the above. and if you think i'm a self righteous prick for it, so fucking be it.

but if you're going to be an asshole? at least own the fuck up to it.

oh, and by the way? i now headcanon that billy butcher once a month puts on a full body gimp suit and with ball gag to do some strange kinda unholy shit with fruit OR veggies (never both), and it HAS to be a waning crecent moon, because i fucking can. and you can't stop me. ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gais... don't immediately assume hostility. please. i know tone can be hard to interpret through writing or typic and emojis help, and yeah, i know i can jump the gun too. but i try to take things told to me at face/basic value or read them in a neutral tone and i think it helps too.

but we should never be judging anyone before we know them.

[resi4skz]

CHAPTER 11

Pairing: Christopher Bahng x Aubrey Williams (OC)

Warnings: smut

This is purely fiction! MDNI

*HAN'S POV*

After signing in the visitor form, the officer in front of me takes me to room with a very thick transparent glass in front of me. "You have 15 minutes," the officer informs and leaves as I take a seat on the provided chair. As I wait, I take out the necessary documents from my briefcase. The buzzer sound suddenly comes on and I glance up as Troy Parker walks in with 2 officers on either side of him. He was in shackles, making him walk in small steps.

"Who are you?" He asked as he sits down.

I take out my business card and present it to him. "I'm here on behalf of Ms. Williams."

"A lawyer?" He scoffs and looks at me. "I'm not signing shit."

"Unfortunately, Mr. Parker, you really don't get a say in this. You're convicted of attempted murder, assault and vandalism. There is no easy way out of this."

"I told you. I'm not signing anything."

"Plus, your mom confessed that you were planning to kill your wife, which may or may not add more years for you."

He scowls, narrowing his eyes. "Bullshit."

I lean back in my chair, sighing. "We have it on recording."

"My mother will never do such a thing," he spat out.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I take out my phone, find the recording and hit play.

"Why are you still defending your son?"

"Because he's my son! My only blood!"

His expression changes from angry to fear.

"She wasn't supposed to find out. We kept the secret and blamed it on her, hoping she stays with him. So when he saw she drifted apart from him, he became a different person. Went crazy. He told me."

"Stop," he shouts. "Stop it!"

"He told me what he was going to do. He even showed me the knife, saying he's gonna kill her and then kill himself afterwards. He....he made the whole plan."

I hit stop and slide the papers under the glass along wirh a pen. "Sign it."

"Fuck you." He spits at the glass.

"Do you really think you have a way out of this?"

"I know people," he said smirking. "I'll be out of here in a couple of days."

"Oh, the people you worked with? The ones who also testified against you and signed away your life?" His expression changes again. "They told us, me, everything. You're never getting out of here, Mr. Parker."

Annoyed, he picks up the pen and signs the divorce papers before passing them back. Smiling, I check the papers to see if he signed all of them and once I was satisfied, I secure them in my briefcase. "Well, Mr. Parker. Enjoy the rest of your time, however long that is." I turn to leave when he speaks up.

"That bitch cheated on me, just so you know."

I scoff, turning around. "Maybe consider the fact that she's finally happy and alive." Without saying anytning further, I walk out and shoot a quick text to Aubrey.

------------------------------------------------------------

*AUBREY'S POV*

I let out a sigh of relief as I read Han's text.

H: it's done

So as a celebration, I stop by a liquor store and get my favorite wine. As I drive towards Chris's house, my heart beats at a steady pace and I finally feel at peace. I had bought something for his birthday and could only hope he would like it.

Parking my car in his driveway, I walk towards his front porch and unlock the door with the key under his mat that he had left for me. He was still at work and wouldn't be home till dinner time. Plus it was his birthday today. So I made it my mission to cook him his favorite: lamb steak with mashed potatoes. I even cleaned the house a bit and took a shower. I changed into comfy clothes and went down to check on dinner. As I move around the kitchen, I suddenly felt his arms sliding around my waist I gasp as he kisses my neck. "Mmm, I could really get used to this."

I giggle and turn around in his arms. "Welcome home." I go on my tip toes and kiss him. He immediately kisses me back with the same amount of love. "I made your favorite."

His eyes lights up and looks at the dining table. "Aubrey, you didn't." I grin at him as he walks over to the table. "Bri, I had been craving this for weeks. How did you know?"

I smile. "Sit." As he sits, I grab the wine and two glasses. We eat our dinner in peace and take our sweet time with it. I tell him about the divorce papers.

"You're kidding me," he gapes at me.

"Nope. I'm now officially divorced," I smile widely as he walks to the sink and immediately starts washing the dishes.

I walk towards him till I'm facing his broad back and slide my hands around his waist, placing my cheek on his back. "Thank you."

We stay like that for a while until he taps my hand. "These dishes aren't going to wash themselves." I roll my eyes and poke him in the ribs. "Hey, wanna eat ice cream and watch a movie?"

My inner 10yr old cannot contain the excitement as I run to the movie selection and pick out 'Tangled.' Just as I put it on, he sits with two bowls of ice cream and I notice mine has chocolate and strawberry. "You remembered." How could he remember after all these years? I had only told him once.

"Well," he says as he takes a spoonful of strawberry icecream. "I don't know if I told you but I kind of had a crush on you during high school."

"What?" I glance at him eating his icecream. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Bri, we were in different grades. Besides, when you graduated and left, I concentrated on my studies. How was I supposed to know that we'd end up meeting again?"

"Christopher," I say as I set my bowl down on the coffee table. "Do you know how difficult it was to leave my only friend behind? Do you realize you were the one that my friends were jealous of every time we hung out?"

"Jealous? Wait what? Why?" Now he's the one setting his bowl on the table.

"We all had this huge crush on you." My eyes widen and I immediately shut my mouth and move the farthest away from but since it was a love seat, I couldn't really move any farther than I already was.

"We?" He smirks. "As in?"

"As in my friends from high school," I take a big spoonful of the icecream and look at the tv screen as Rapunzel lets down her hair to climb down from the tower. Why did I have to open my mouth? I feel him shifting closer to me making my heart go crazy.

"And?" He asks, his voice smooth like my chocolate ice cream.

I peer at him from the corner of my eye and he has this smile on his face so I shove a spoonful of icecream in his mouth. He grabs my face and pecks my cheeks as he shifts back to his original place. I go back to eating rest of the ice cream.

As the movie progresses, so does Chris's hands. I noticed when Rapunzel and Eugene were singing in the boat is when Chris laid his head on my lap and drew circles on my hand. I found it cute. With my other hand, I played with his hair. "Your hair is thin, I never noticed."

"Yeah, well I used to dye it pretty often and it dried my hair pretty quickly so I tend to not style or dye it more often these days."

"If you want, I can try out a few things for your hair. Some hair oils." This reminded me of the certain red clothing item I had bought earlier, packed in my bag.

"Anything you want." Anything I want? I shifted in my seat as my mind went elsewhere. God, what was wrong with me? I wasn't like this before. Was it Chris? Did he have this effect on me? He's been on my mind constantly ever since he's been back in my life. Which reminds me.....I look at the clock. Good, it's not midnight yet. Smiling, I bend slightly and hover over his ear. "Happy birthday." I whisper.

He turns his head and smiles. "Thank you."

"I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

I nod.

"What kind of surprise?"

I go real close to his ear. "Something you can unwrap me in." I pull back and his eyes darken. The next thing I know is that I'm being flung over his shoulder as he shuts off the TV and practically sprints upstairs. "Hey, put me down!"

"Not a chance," he swings open the door to the bedroom and finally puts me down. "Go put it on." The way he gazes into my eyes and I wanted nothing more than to have him his way with me. So I take my bag with me to the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom, I shimmy out of my clothes and slip on the red lingerie I had brought days prior with the mind of surprising him in it. Biting my lip, I survey it in the mirror. Even after all these years, I have kept in shape. By all means, I wasn't skinny per se but I had kept fit. The lacy bra perked up my full breasts and the lace went down my torso just above my belly button. The panties were the perfect size. The sudden realization hits me and I become shy knowing he's just within arms reach. I fix and fluff my hair and do a final check before heading out.

Opening the door, I see Chris looking out the window and he was shirtless with his black jeans hanging low on his hips. Sweet baby jesus. When he hears me, he turns around and time stops. It's just me and him and nothing else matters. "You look....wow."

I smile and slowly walk towards him. "You like?" I ask.

He nods. "Very much and I'm going to like to more taking it off you." My breath hitches as he strides towards me, cups my cheeks and smashes his lips on mine. I groan at the force and grip his sides as he devours my lips. "You taste so sweet."

"Gentle, Chris," I breathe out.

He shakes his head. "I don't think I can be gentle with you tonight, baby. I need you." He attacks my lips and places wet kisses down my neck and breasts. He nicks and bites my chest leaving evidence as I grip his hair, moaning out his name. His hand goes behind my back to unclasp the bra and when my breasts are finally free, he takes a moment to admire them before he tugs me along with him walking back towards his bed. Sitting down, he gets me to straddle him and I gasp because I can feel everything this way.

His lips never leave my skin. I kiss him again and rock my hips against his. He moans into the kiss as his hands now rest on my hips. I grind my hips again and I'm certain I heard him growl before I'm flipped on my tummy. "On your hands and knees. Now." His demand made my core wet as I went on all fours. This way I was exposed fully. I hear the belt buckle hit the floor and feel him coming behind me. I hold my breath when I feel him gently caressing my ass cheeks with both of his hands. When I reach to take my panties off, he grabs my hand. "No. It stays on."

And that's when I felt it. I cry out in pain and pleasure from the hit. I bite my lips when he smacks me again. "Fuck, baby. You look good in red."

Not being able to take it anymore, I wiggle my hips. I need him. "Chris, please."

"Say it, baby. Say what you want." I feel him shifting and I want to turn around so badly.

"Fuck me, Chris. Have your way with me, please" I breathe out. He groans at my request as he moves my panty aside and enters me from behind. I sigh in bliss and moan in pleasure as he fully sheathes himself inside me. "Move."

And move he does. He thrusts his hips hard and I grip the sheets below me. He feels so good that I don't want him to ever stop. Suddenly, he pulls out and I almost curse at him but he flips me over and takes my panties off before settling himself between my legs again. He leans down and kisses me while slamming his hips into me. I moan into the kiss as I wrap my arms around his neck. "Tell me what you want, Bri. And I'll give it to you. I'll give it all to you."

I gaze into his eyes as I cup his cheek. "You. I want you." He smiles and it's as if something in him switched on, his thrusts turned frantic and faster. I felt myself coming closer to my release. He then raises my left leg over his shoulder. "Harder." The new position makes him go deeper and I love it. Picking up speed, he grabs my breasts and gives them a squeeze. He feels me going over the edge and picks up the pace. I cry out his name, my body convulsing as he keeps thrusting his hips and groans when he finds his own release.

We both sag onto the bed, catching our breath. "You're wearing it again."

I chuckle as I turn to my side, facing him. "Only if you can do me a favor."

"Which is?" He breathes out. I smirk as I scoot closer so I can whisper into his ears. He turns his head towards me, his eyes hardening. "Yes, absolutely."

And for the rest of the night, he gave all kinds of favors I ask for.

------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, I visited Leanna at her apartment to spend the evening with her. "So. How are you and Chris doing?" Leanna asks, as we munched on snacks.

"We're good," I reply, smiling. "Really good."

"Psh. You have smitten written all over your face," she scoffs and I giggle. "If I didn't know any better, he's probably as smitten as you are."

"Well....."

"Oh, give me a break," she whines. "Why can't I find one for myself?"

"If you look hard enough," I began. "Do you want me to hook yo-" A sudden wave of immense nausea goes up my stomach and I clasp my mouth.

"You alright?" She asked, sitting up on her couch.

"Yeah," I say, breathing out. "It's probably nothing, just something I ate at lunc-" The nausea comes back faster this time and I make a run for the toilet.

"Hey, you sure you're alright?" I hear Leanna behind me as I make it just in time to puke my guts out in the toilet. She holds my hair up the entire time I'm hurled up on the toilet. "Is it something you ate?"

"Well, I had tacos for lunch," I say, flushing the toilet. A sudden thought comes in my mind as I'm washing my hands and I gasp.

"What is it?" She asks.

Taking out my phone, I open the calendar app and count the days. Holy shit. "I'm late."

"Oh, did you have a meeting or something?"

I give her a look. "No," I show her the calendar. "I'm late."

"Oh. Oh!" Finally she gets it. "I'll run down to the pharmacy."

********************************************************

I'm sitting on the toilet waiting. I glance at the sticks with the pink end in front of me as Leanna paces behind me. "Would you stop?"

"How are you not panicking right now?"

"Because I know it's not Troy's. Duh."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he's infertile." I replied as I pick up the stick and smile. "And I'm not." I point the results for her to see. Two pink solid lines.

"Oh my god, I'm going to be an aunt," she shrieks, jumping up and down. I giggle at her reaction. "Oh Chris is going to be thrilled."

"Let's hope so."

------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Chris to get home. I watched the wall clock like a hawk. Why is this so nerve wrecking? Then I hear the keys, the door opening and the scuffle of his shoes. He comes in view as he walks to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water.

Taking a huge gulp, I stand and walk over in the kitchen. As he turns around, he jumps. "Jesus, Aubrey!"

"Sorry," I reply.

"What are you doing home? I thought you were at Leanna's?" He walks over, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Change of plans," I answer as I nervously fumble with my fingers.

He takes my hands. "Everything alright?"

I smile warmly at him. I love that he's so gentle and caring about me. I love that he's always putting others before him. Taking a small step back, I reach for my back pocket to take out the three pink sticks from before and show him, smiling. I watch him blink before his eyes go wide and a part of me thinks I might have made a mistake. But then he scoops me up and spins me around, laughing. "Chris!" I giggle. "Put me down! I'm dizzy!"

He gently puts me down and leans down, giving me a kiss. "You just made me the happiest person on earth."

"You're not mad?"

"Mad? Baby, you just told me I'm going to be a dad. I'm estatic!" He replies, smiling from ear to ear.

I chuckle and wrap my arms around his torso, laying my head on his warm chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He wraps his arms around me tightly and we stay like this the entire night, even in bed when we're sleeping.

[tadpolesonalgae]

i know i have too many thoughts about cbmthy but i just saw that ask where op said they wonder how long until the ic notices reader is gone and it made me think as well. i've been giving them the benefit of the doubt for the last chapters but this ask just made go back to my "the ic is being mean to her" bullshit. i love the ic but in this story i really feel like they need to step up with her and i hope they apologize when she comes back. i've seen you say you don't mean to make the ic neglect her but they do. and even if she herseld doesn't see it as being neglectful it is. just because she likes being alone it isn't enough reason for how isolated she is from them and i get that she doesn't wanna be a bother so she didn't want to say anything to them but her being comfortable going to eris just makes me not want her to go back to the ic permanently. i think the worst is that this is years after she got turned so she's been in this state for years and no one did anything, like i know they had their hands full with wars and nesta and nyx and koschei but it's not fair that they just ignored her in favor of those problems and even worse that she was always the one being left behind. with the way you've written her it wouldn't take more than a good look at her to see the mess she was in. i remembered the conversation between nesta and elain too so i know the ic or at least nesta want to do something about her but elain was wrong by not letting her. i'll stick with my opinion from the last chapter too though, her dipping on the ic is also bad on her part as well because it's a shitty thing to do to her family but that just makes me go back to the core issue which is her and the ic don't trust each other or even look like they care much for each other, they don't act like they're family.

i know this is a popular opinion but i really think that after she heals and grows it would make more sense for her to stay with eris than with azriel. she wasn't thriving at all in the night court and there's not really much of a reason or even tension between her and azriel, it just reads like she loves him out of habit, like she always had that crush on him and since she hates change she won't let go of it even if he hurts her. but i know you said you wanted her to stay in velaris and be with azriel so i just hope you take into account that these people couldn't help her when she was at her lowest and treated her like a second thought so when she comes back healed and stronger you kind of have to be careful of how you write things so it doesn't seem like they only care about her now that she's strong and useful. also with healing come a lot of realizations, the most important being the people who helped you and the ones that didn't so when she finally reaches that stage i hope she tells the ic exactly that. i also see the ic having some trust issues with her though, they don't trust eris (for good reason too, eris kind of makes sure of it) so when she comes back after hiding so much from them and from being with eris it's normal for the trust issues to come

im sorry if i talk too much about this series but i can see myself in some things and it kind of hits harder for it. also tell me if im being pushy because im genuinely just trying to get my opinions across not trying to make you feel like you have to write this or that a certain way - 🧶

‘i know i have too many thoughts about cbmthy’

You literally don’t, I love getting to hear all of them so it’s not too much 😭

‘i just saw that ask where op said they wonder how long until the ic notices reader is gone’

Honestly it’s going to be pretty promptly because of the whole magic and prophecy situation? With Azriel knowing what he does now about how her power hurts her, and that she’s going to kill him, it would be weird for him to not call a meeting with the rest of the IC, which then will lead to Azzie realising she isn’t in the HoW and going to search for her :)

In regards for how long it’ll take for him to find out she’s actually gone to the Autumn Court, I’m going to try and have it also happen in the next chapter because otherwise I feel like that could be the story beginning to drag again and I really do not want that 😭

‘i've been giving them the benefit of the doubt for the last chapters but this ask just made go back to my "the ic is being mean to her" bullshit.’

Okay this is so difficult to respond to (for spoiler reasons, not emotional ones) but there is some casual stuff going on in the background that’s keeping them a little away from her? Also since they trust Elain’s judgement on reader as the one who’s closest to her, because Elain made a bad call about what she needs, that’s also getting in the way and contributing to how the IC act around her?

‘i love the ic but in this story i really feel like they need to step up with her and i hope they apologize when she comes back.’

I have actually already begun to write this scene! The idea for the dialogue came probably around a month and a half ago and I’ve just been adding bits and pieces to it since then to help me try and prepare when the time comes for that part of the story to unfold? Either way it’s probably going to be quite taxing for everyone in that conversation so it’s a little stressful to write, but it’s got to happen eventually so things can start looking up after so long 🤦

‘but her being comfortable going to eris just makes me not want her to go back to the ic permanently.’

This is actually one of the few topics in cbmthy that I’m excited to write/discuss? There’s hopefully going to be a patch of dialogue where Eris brings up how messed up that is (satirically, of course🙄) and that will be touched on! I’m both hoping and not hoping that it’s something some other people will be able to understand since I think it’s kind of difficult to explain why it’s sometimes the case one doesn’t want/feel they deserve help?

‘i know they had their hands full with wars and nesta and nyx and koschei but it's not fair that they just ignored her in favor of those problems and even worse that she was always the one being left behind.’

With this theme it’s going to be kind of difficult, because for this particular issue to be resolved it’s going to take reader understanding that she didn’t deserve that, whether it was intentional or not, and that is going to be a big step for her.

I think it’s quite simple to be angry or upset on other people’s behalf, but standing up for yourself can be so difficult when you don’t want to be seen or cause a mess? When others are being treated badly it’s obvious that they don’t deserve it, but when you’re the one on the receiving end it’s so easy to slip into the mindset of “it didn’t hurt me that bad” or “I don’t want to overreact to something small” so reader has to first overcome that before she and the IC can have that talk?

Even if the IC were the ones to initiate that conversation, we’ve already seen in part 6 when Azriel tried to apologise that she just cuts it short because she doesn’t feel like she deserves that, which is why I think she needs to go spend some time with Eris for a little to get a blunter point of view! 🧡💛

‘i remembered the conversation between nesta and elain too so i know the ic or at least nesta want to do something about her but elain was wrong by not letting her.’

Honestly whoever suggested the multiple points of view really saved the day with that one 🫣

Elain didn’t make the right call with that, despite thinking it was what was best for her, which just adds to the pile of issues building between reader and the IC, so there’s a lot to deal with already without the mess of her magic, Eris, and some other things on the IC’s side. Also, while there is going to be a conversation discussing the whole Eris thing, obviously it’s not all going to be magically resolved after a single chat, no matter what? There’s still going to be a lot to sort through between her and Azriel after the Eris moment happens, so that’ll be a boat load of fun to tackle 🫠

‘i'll stick with my opinion from the last chapter too though, her dipping on the ic is also bad on her part as well because it's a shitty thing to do to her family’

I’m glad you’re keeping that stance because yes the IC hasn’t been great with her, but she also has just made a pretty bad decision to deliberately go straight to someone she knows they have bad blood with (and for good reason as far as we know from the books)

‘it just reads like she loves him out of habit, like she always had that crush on him and since she hates change she won't let go of it even if he hurts her.’

That is a big part of Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You—the whole doing things habitually without questioning it? Her beginning to make her own decisions and come to her own conclusions (and making mistakes in the process) is something I’m personally enjoying getting to write about (even if it isn’t the best)!

‘so when she comes back healed and stronger you kind of have to be careful of how you write things so it doesn't seem like they only care about her now that she's strong and useful.’

That’s something I’m worried about, but she does have a lot to work on and heal, which her and Az should get a chance to work together on and have some moments of realisation 🧡💛

‘im sorry if i talk too much about this series but i can see myself in some things and it kind of hits harder for it.’

I literally love getting to read your thoughts on this story. Not only is it helpful to hear things you like or things you’re concerned about (like the Eris mess, and fair enough) but it also makes me so happy that you’re so engaged with it? Like that you want to talk about this fic and are interested in it just makes me so happy to read and reply to 🧡💛

[misty720]

Small note - Elodie is an OC from my second story and a main player in it. I just haven't worked on it in a long time...

Curses and Blessings - Ch 2:

Living on the Surface had its good and bad just like the Underground. Papyrus found society trying at times, but he was grateful for his little human and their three children. He was grateful to his sister in law for such an opportunity and for her unrelenting DETERMINATION to save them twice over. He loved his life, his career, his family, and all the opportunities afforded still. However, he realized he would have been just as happy back in Snowdin if he could still have his little family. He cared for people, his own kind and humans alike, yet he found some humans to be more tolerable than others, and the older he grew the less patience he had for nonsense. Whimsy, fun, and innocent jokes or pranks where not what he meant by 'nonsense' either. To put it bluntly, he didn't have time nor willpower to put up with bullshit anymore. Papyrus still believed in second chances, benefit of the doubt, and people having the potential to be better or do better, sure. It was simply that the man had found a threshold for his once unbridled patience.

Yes, life on the Surface had its curses as well as well as blessings. This thought hitched a ride in the back of his thoughts on his way to work which in and of itself was a blessing and a curse. Some days he felt more like a glorified babysitter than an entrepreneur or master chef and that included customers when necessary to deal with them.

Six in the morning wasn't terribly early for him specifically. Papyrus was used to waking up early, jogging, showering, and dressing for his role as Frisk's secretary until he was able to open his restaurant on the other side of town far from where MTT's sat. All of that went out the window the first month before he ever even served his first customer. His routine became more like wake up, run nonstop, drag himself home to either cook or eat whatever nice meal his wife could conjure, drag himself to the shower, and drag himself to bed. At least, until Monday rolled around giving him a day to rest and spend time with his family. Clising Monday was a promise he made Chara years ago when Kabel wasn't quite born yet. Six in the morning gave him a half hour to finish prep and help his bakers organize the baked goods before unlocking the doors. "ALRIGHT, PAPYRUS. TIME TO GET IN AND MAKE THIS ANOTHER AMAZING DAY. YOU WILL NOT FUSS AT THE NEW HIRES BECAUSE YOU'RE SLEEPY, YOU WILL NOT FUSS AT THE NEW HIRES BECAUSE YOU ARE SLEEPY, YOU WILL NOT FUSS THE NEW HIRES BECAUSE YOU ARE SLEEPY. THEY ARE STILL LEARNING AND VERY FRESH ON THE FLOOR. LET THE FLOOR MANAGER DO HER JOB. ELODIE IS CAPABLE AND A GREAT LEADER. DON'T HOVER OVER HER LIKE SHE'S STILL A CHILD. OKAY, IT'S GO TIME," Papyrus gave himself a little pep talk before entering his establishment. Even with its bad, Papyrus wouldn't trade a moment if it meant being anything other than a husband, a father, and a head chef of his own restaurant.

Meanwhile, Chara was giving herself a pep talk after making sure Serif had a way to school and quarantining her other two. "Sans! Thank you!" she greeted her brother in law as he pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, pal! How's the two little ones?" he greeted them rolling down his window.

"Kabel's fever is high, but Sylf is fine. I just don't want her going after being up all night sick. Frisk sent you instead because you can't catch it I bet."

"Oh yeah, ya think she wants that bug? I'll hafta go through Al's sterilization chamber before enterin' and leavin' work 'cause I could still be carryin' it. Ya sure ya wanna send this one? He could spread it. Meanin'... Luci and Cori will catch it. Meanin'... I can't protect ya from Frisk when she catches and feels better."

"If he was showing symptoms, I'd keep him home but I can't keep him out of school just because. Besides, the girls will probably have it soon enough and bring it home. It's been making rounds in school."

"Wonderful... Guess we better 'stock' up, eh?"

"Pfft! I would to be safe. Alright, son. Be good for your uncle and call me if you start feeling ill."

"Thanks for picking me up, Uncle Sans," Serif greeted him climbing in the passenger seat.

"You're welcome, kiddo. Just... try to stay away from your cousins and sanitize your hands," Sans advised leaving the driveway.

Chara went back inside not wanting to leave her five and six year old little ones alone for long. "Chara, you're not going to snap at your mini clone because you're sleepy, you are not going to snap at your mini clone because you're sleepy, you are not going to snap at her because you are sleepy. Kabel will need another dose of fever medicine in four hours, Sylf will be hungry in two, and I'll need to make sure that boy drinks something," Chara told herself.

"Momma, Bubby threw up on the stairs trying to get to the bathroom!" Sylfae called out the doorway.

"Fuck..." Chara exclaimed under her breath. "Thank you for telling me, my minion. Stay away from Bubby today, okay? I don't want you sick again." Her daughter agreed and went into her room that used to be her cousin Lucida's because it was pink and the girl liked pink over Corsiva's old purple room. Serif was the oldest therefore was privileged with Frisk's old bedroom with the built in bathroom Papyrus and Sans added on for her birthday one year. Chara's life, to her, was both a curse and blessing as well. She loved being a Mom and not needing to work, she loved that her husband was capable and loving, and she loved her friends and family, but in order for her to do all of the things she did and her family to have what they had, she had to sacrifice so much time with her husband. Many nights, he was home before midnight, but there had been plenty he didn't come shuffling in until two in the morning beat from running all over that restaurant. He had staff, he had a good name, and he took pride in his work as much as his family. It was just that sometimes, she felt he was more married to the restaurant than her. But, they had bills to pay and he already sacrificed one day of potential business to make her happy. How could she possibly put the pressure on him of choosing between his passion and his dream and his family when his business was supporting a comfortable life even with three children, one of which was a bottomless pit and could out eat both of them combined? No, she was a good wife and a fair partner so she would shoulder the downsides with the upsides. Afterall, the vow was for better or worse and she loved him deeply. "At least I have a puddle of half digested chicken nuggets, apple slices, and... when the hell did he get a hold of grapes?? The school doesn't serve them and we haven't bought any in weeks. Ugh! At least this and my minion will distract me for the day..." she thought aloud to herself grabbing the scrub brush and soap after checking on her sick boy laying in the bathroom floor.

"Momma..." Kabel groaned.

"Yes, love? Roll onto your side if you're going to steal the bathroom. I don't want you choking if you can't sit up in time. You'll suffocate. Here, try to sip on some ginger-ale and put some crackers on your stomach so you're not just hurling stomach acid," she told him setting a cold cup of soda and a sleeve of saltines in the floor.

"I'm not hungry..." he started tearing up. "I don't wanna be sick anymore."

"I know, baby boy, but you have to eat at least one cracker and sip this for me. The acid will hurt your throat if you don't." She sat on the side of the tub and petted his sweaty, rust colored hair. Yes, life for her was more good than bad and the bad wasn't even that bad considering what all she had been through, some her fault and some not. However, she wouldn't trade a second of it for anything else.

@papara-week

[the-unofficial-rakun-piratequeen]

My not very communist manifesto about productivity and self exploitation

I used to think that as long as "you give your best", it'd be enough even without succeding. But now I realize that the idea of "giving your best" is honestly bullshit. Giving your best 24/7 is extremely tiring, and even if you do succeed in anything, the difficulties for the next step are higher, so should I be eternaly giving my best in a pointless way? and, me giving my best for something, is it truly for myself if in the way I sacrifice so much? I doubt that if you give your all the reward will be fulfilling, after all whats the point of winning something if the other things are gone.

With that I mean wasting time, energy, effort, putting yourself in awful situations, blah blah blah. If something you are fighting for is so tiring that you feel that'll never end, or you feel that it's slowly taking away your will to live, then I can't help but doubt if I'm really doing it for myself. But if not for myself for whom?

Maybe some sense of trascendence after death, maybe for social approval, maybe to prove that I'm not all the bad stuff that has been said about me.

All the bad tags that were put into me when I was little remain in a very painful way. Whenever I do something wrong or miscalculate my next move, I can't help but think "Maybe they were right, maybe I'm useless". And now I realize that the more I try to fight it, the more useless I become, because sacrificing my mental health, my wellbeing and wasting time of my life only leaves me with less than what I had when I just started. So I do not plan on keep giving my best, not for anyone, I'll just give enough to pass through.

I prefer to be mediocre and not sacrifice anything if at the end a big part of the effort's reward won't even be for myself. Maybe one day I'll look back and regret that I didn't do enough, but I think that I'll regret more doing too much to end up with nothing. I only want to invest my time now in stuff that give me some sense. The problem is usually that type of stuff it's not something that 'll give me enough money to live. I truly think if at least there were still forest, or more public places with native species where I can forage, or some way to survive without being so dependant on what the higher ups give me access to, everyone would have it easier. If there were such places where one could still take enough for oneself of what nature gives without having to worry so much about ownership everything would be a lot better.

Did my rant into the social expectancy of productivity and the unfulfilling self sacrifice become a sort of slightly communist manifesto? I kinda think it did

But sadly I can only say it is what it is. And that kind of idealistic thinking can only be put to work if everyone agrees into not taking advantage of the system and give at least a little bit of selflesness to the world, but I see it kinda hard.

Thinking about it, when the church did good things (like xenodochiums or the hôtel-Dieu, social work and progress in general), usually it came from a sense of compassion, empathy for the other, community and union. When the church fucked up it was mostly because of the personal intrests of some specific parties.

I'm not a communist, I'm not christian nor religious, but even so I must admit that truly some of their ideas should be quite universal. If we think of our begginings as humans and the fact that we are gregarious, and one of the basis of our survival is being there for the other, when we act in a way that benefits no one but a small percentage that doesn't represent at all the population, when we fight with each other for the favor of the one who is in power, we loose part of our humanity. When we allow someone this god-like status, we are no better than ants , living only so the queen can pass on her genes, meanwhile the rest can have the bare minimum to survive.

We stop taking into account the individual while at the same time we hyperfixate on the individual. It's quite paradoxical because the individual we hyperfixate usually isn't ourselves, no matter how egoistic we are, the one we hyperfixate into is the same one we seek aprovation from.

It's like when we talk about the cult towards Elon Musk. Usually the profile of the people who follow him is slightly "selfcentered", or to put it in another way, the stereotype of a straight white man who thinks poor people are poor because they want to. So no matter how selfcentered they are, they still lose their individuality becoming nothing but an ant working for their queen hoping one day they can become her. Saddly that's exactly why things don't change. People don't want to beat the system, they want to get to the top of it, and it's understandable, no one wants to go to the bottom by trying to derrocate the state powers. No medieval noble would like to offend the king and become a slave.

in synthesis: FUCK GIVING YOUR BEST, FROM NOW ON THIS BITCH IS ONLY GIVING BARELY ENOUGH TO PASS

AND A BIG MIDDLE FINGER UP TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE (including myself and the person reading this, with all my love, go fuck yourself, tehe~ <3)

[rainbow-burst]

I'll Be changing names in this story...my friend's boyfriend is Tommy, my friend in question is named Angela and my boyfriend's name is Marco. (Again name changed)

So long story short Angela's boyfriend Tommy basically was talking mad shit about her and saying that she was like a shitty girlfriend and how she was not really good and she wasn't treating him well and she was always asking him for money and that he felt like he was like a pet to her and that he has to be careful around her yada yada caca anyway.

Well Angela finds out that Tommy was talking about her she flips out on everybody including my ass for some reason because I was supposed to be her friend and tell her even though

first of all that's none of my fucking business

second of all I heard that from a second person

third of all that's mainly you're a fucking boyfriend's problem not mine

and fucking fourth of all that's not my fucking problem.

Like the thing is I knew about it but I wasnt going to say shit because that wasn't my situation. And also why the fuck would I tell my friend about how her boyfriend's talking mad shit about her which is going to hurt her feelings because she already felt like they were going to break up and they are feeling distant??

Also yeah I can see why that would be bad but like I'm hearing this from another person so I don't know all the fucking problems.

so she got mad at everyone blocked everyone I actually kind of was like over it so I deleted her a little post she wanted me too do for her. Cause fuck you.

So Marco is my boyfriend and Marco and Tommy are good old friends, so Tommy's bitch ass was basically venting to Marco telling him how much Angela was just being a shitty girlfriend and so Marco was telling me about it and how bad Angela was being a shitty boyfriend too Tommy Angela's my friend so I'm just going to give her the benefit of the doubt, I mean I'm not in their fucking relationship like that so I wouldn't know. well turns out I should have probably told Angela even though again it's not my fucking business.

When I told Angela like "yeah it's true Tommy did say that" she got mad at me and was saying that's a girl code... Oh so now it's girl code first of all I'm not in your relationship, I'm not fucking your nigga, I'm not with your nigga, that's not my business girl, first of all she already knew that they were feeling distant I told her multiple times just talk to him about it but I guess when she did the nigga Tommy lied on my boyfriend Marco about it and basically threw me and Marcos as underneath the bus which I actually had to confront my friend about and tell her that that shit was bullshit of course she believed me because duh that shit was utter bullshit but for some reason she doesn't like my boyfriend now because he was being a best friend and giving a fuck about his friend.

[rametarin]

Don't answer if it's too personal but, was your mother diagnosed with anything or does she just hate men..or just you?

She's a sadistic psychopath that above everything else, doesn't do anything that could possibly get her in trouble with the law. But will act within the letter of the law to be as disruptive, obnoxious and controlling as legally within her power to do. So long as it's within a certain criteria. The problem is women in the US get the benefit of the doubt for most everything, and the margin between "insufferable psychobitch" and "woman just having a bad day- can we really afford to treat all women like this because of a few bad days?" are so murky.

She has studied enough psychology in order to better instigate and antagonize and hurt you psyhchologically without the law being able to do anything about it. Up to and including threatening you with homelessness and calling the police to weasel-word it to seem like a violent domestic disturbance is happening (no male sexed person wants or needs that smoke) and using the state like a 5 year old brat demands free shit or, "she'll tell her DADDY on YOU!"

I just have the misfortune to be the person she can reliably shit on and get away with it, and the only thing I can do about it to "improve" my life is voluntarily divorce myself from the situation and sit in a maggot infested homeless shelter, with no money, credit, transportation, career, or future. And because she's forced me to compromise my social life just to maintain this shitty status quo, I don't have any couches to surf in order to get away from her.

She hates and exploits whomever she has power over, and she makes very sure to be as meticulous as possible in acquiring power. She will premeditate everything and make it such a mundane or petty seeming exertion of power that it's ambiguous as to whether it was deliberate malevolence or just petty female hot blooded antagonism.

But I learned a long time ago, there is no spur of the moment with her. She premeditates every outrage to then perform the boohoo crocodile tears of someone trying to reap the benefit of the doubt by being an irrational woman. have her cake and eat it, too.

Any attempt I make to separate from her will result in me winding up in a homeless shelter with no money or credit or transport, if I'm lucky.

Any attempt to start getting my life together while living with her, she'll corrupt and threaten to destroy unless I agree to her coercion to give up just enough stake in whatever I'm doing so she can then coerce more compromise out of me, until I'm effectively a puppet.

I tolerate her bullshit to have a place to live while trying to study for something I can do from home, before making myself homeless. Like programming. But that's not a paid course, it's just something I've been trying to do between holding myself back from physically beating her to death, doing whatever petty bullshit she wants at any given moment, every other moment of the day, and trying to politely listen while she drones on and on and on about mundane shit before seguing into her usual "when JESUS comes back!" spiel.

She hates that I have any autonomy whatsoever over my life and she hates that she doesn't have this kind of control over anyone else. She's a hateful, shallow monster that once free of I'll happily never even acknowledge again, nor even show up to her funeral. I despise her and how she's deprived me of a life of any kind simply to have control over me, for the sake of having control over me.

[basket-of-radiants]

(Opinions on jasnah and if she's like.... a good person)

Whether she’s a good person or not is up to you my friend! Jasnah follows a much more utilitarianist set of ethics than most of the other characters. I usually tend to think that’s a good trait for authority figures, so long as they’re genuine about their beliefs. Sometimes the moral implications of the action itself are less important than the impact of said action.

Typically it is the more antagonist-ish characters who follow “greater good” policies, such as Amaram and Taravangian (although I still have no idea what he’s doing,) but I would be wary of dismissing that line of thinking altogether. There’s honestly nothing wrong with focusing on the wider scope and consequences of one’s decisions, and in fact, I would consider that admirable. After all, Jasnah is a reigning monarch who does have to consider sacrifice and what that means. Wartime ethics are a bitch and tough calls are going to have to be made. I’m not defending it outright; this line of thinking becomes very dangerous when you give yourself license to do anything and commit whatever atrocities you like in the name of the greater good. There’s no objective way to determine at what point you’re doing more harm than good, though.

For me, the question of Jasnah isn’t whether I agree with her values or not, it’s about whether or not I trust her to recognize when she’s going too far.

There are a lot of reasons not to trust her. She’s not the most empathetic person ever (although I do think she’s more emotionally driven than she or anyone else would care to admit) and I wouldn’t exactly call her kind. She’s a goal-oriented person, very driven and focused, so I could see her caring less about what’s right along the way than about getting her results. (She did swear “journey before destination” though, so I should probably believe in her more there.) Her stubbornness is also an issue; I don’t think she’s the type to ignore new evidence because it doesn’t fit her worldview perse, but she is definitely resistant.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Yes, she suggested that all the parshmen be destroyed. If that upset you or made you uncomfortable, you’re not wrong to feel that way. If that pissed you off and made you dislike Jasnah as a person, you’re not wrong to feel that way. I personally don’t find hers a defensible position. I obviously feel very different about all this, but as long as I’m writing this as a focus on Jasnah’s character, I guess I should do my best to explain. I always feel like I have to note that Alethi values are very very different from mine, and Dalinar and the others had already been waging genocide war on the parshendi for years. Compared to vengeance, I would call survival of humanity a somewhat more worthy cause. And Jasnah did have reasons for her opinions. Whether or not Jasnah cared at all about the common singers, her view was that were they to engage the Fused, all of the others would end up just becoming bodies for them. If that’s the case then there’s nothing that could be done for the common singers anyway, unless they were willing to just let the Fused win and not fight back. (Side note, the Fused provide a lot of other interesting dilemmas in of themselves about tactics and morals.) The only solution other than fighting back is negotiating. While I do expect to see more of that in the future, I can understand why at the time Jasnah was skeptical about that as an option. After all of her research, after having seen Dalinar’s visions, she had a particular idea of what Voidbringers were.

I want to address the singers first and just say that I really don’t believe that Jasnah is still interested in killing them. Yes, advocating for that at that meeting was a really shitty thing, but going forward I expect different from her. She seemed just as shaken as anyone to learn that the singers had been the original natives of Roshar, and while there was probably too much going on at the time for us to watch fully how she reacted, I assume she took a lot of time afterwards to reexamine her worldviews. If you’ll remember from Way of Kings, philosophy and the study of ethics is deeply important to Jasnah. Given all the information she has now, I don’t think she would be able to justify throwing away the singers for the sake of the humans anymore.

If she can view the singers as people as well and accept them into her bigger picture, I’d think I’d be able to trust her. She’s painstakingly careful and analytical, and I would like to think she would never make a major decision without fully thinking it through. In the past, from what I can tell, she hasn’t especially prioritized any one group over others (except for her immediate family,) she’s mostly been interested in understanding and furthering society and scholarship overall, and as such is respected everywhere. If the singers can be part of that, who knows?

More broadly than that, there’s a reason I have faith in Jasnah’s utilitarianism significantly more than I’d have for someone else’s, such as Amaram’s. I’ve mentioned “the greater good” a lot in this post, but Jasnah genuinely seems less concerned with that than she seems concerned with “doing the right thing.” She doesn’t take actions and justify them with her philosophy, she deeply examines her philosophy and then lets it inform her actions. I’m not as worried that she’ll get so caught up in her own workings she’ll lose sight of the right thing.

Just some more stuff on her as a person, people talk a lot about the scene with her and Renarin, and I haven’t. I don’t think it singlehandedly redeems her, nor do I think that if she had killed Renarin it would have singlehandedly condemned her. The scene is a demonstration, however, that she does allow her humanity to inform her actions. Not just in that scene, throughout the series she has shown that she cares about other people more than she’s willing to show. She’s shown to be forgiving, to welcome legitimate arguments against her, and to have faith that people will do what’s right of their own accords.

So! Still not going to answer if she’s a good person or not, but I’m definitely willing to give her a chance. I predict that she’ll make a lot of hard calls along the way that will leave a bad taste in my mouth. I can tell you with certainty that other characters have already done the same. Whatever happens, I do believe she’s trying to do good. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

[itsthestutterforme]

Thought You Hated Me (Matt Murdock x black!reader)

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, angst sorry guys 😬

Prompt credit @scvrllet :

"this is not what I meant when I said I wanted you to fall for me"

--

"Let's talk somewhere in private," Matt suggests. "Believe me, you don't want to do that." You threatened, heat enveloped you the more you looked at him. Your hands pressed into fists at your sides. Matt could hear your heart racing as anger took over.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important," he whispers to you. You rolled your eyes and took his hand to pull him into the hallway. "You have thirty seconds," you crossed your arms.

"Elektra-" you scoff at her name and turned to walk away but he caught your arm. You spun around and pushed him into the wall. His cane clatters to the floor and you hate yourself for having the urge to pick it up for him.

"What do you want from me, Murdock." "We need your help stopping the Hand. Elektra is involved with them. She died in my arms, I buried her. And now she's alive and walking like nothing happened," his states calmly, your forearm pressed against his throat and his hands loosely held your arm.

"Why would you need my help? I'm a killer and you don't associate with killers, right?" "This isn't about me, it's about Hells Kitchen." "No, this is about you getting your girlfriend back,"

He went silent for a moment. "I'm mature enough to know when I'm in the wrong. I'm sorry, Y/N. About everything."

"So you're fine with me killing this Hand? I mean come on, what kind of name is that?" You divert, not allowing his words to get to you.

"You're not going to kill anyone," "You plan to stop me, Murdock?" He grabbed your arms and pinned you against the wall where he once was.

"I did stop you, remember?" "I chose to stop," "Because of my influence," you scrambled to get away from his grip but he kept you pinned.

"Get off of me," he lets go of you and bends down to pick up his cane. "Innocent people are you going to die without your help." Resting your head against the wall in defeat. "I'll need to get my gear." "Lead the way,"

**

"This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to fall for me," Matt says as you collapses on top of them. "You said you would catch me," "You didn't tell me when you let go. And all your screaming threw me off as to where you were coming from."

You and Matt were tracking down one of the members from Hand. You followed him into a construction sight and he kicked the ladder down after using it himself, leaving you with no way down. That's how the two of got into this mess.

The two of you groaned as you rolled off of him and you laid side by side. "I can't believe that you're still afraid of heights," he says, cracking his back and rolling his shoulder as he sat up. "I can't believe you're still a douche bag,"

Your knees cracked as you stood from the pavement. "Damn we're getting old," you extended your hand and pulled him to his feet.

You handed him his cane and looked to where the guy ran off. "He was fast," you stated. "But not fast enough," you looked down at your phone with a blinking red dot.

"You tagged him?" You hummed in response. "I missed fighting together," "Oh yeah? Who's fault is that?""It's been years, can't you just give me a chance?" Matt asks.

"No," "Why?" "Because you don't deserve it. You hurt me deeply, Matt. It was more painful than any torture I've ever endured. And it was done by someone who claimed to love me." "I do love you," "Bullshit," "Why is it so hard for you to believe me?"

"I don't believe anybody anymore. Benefit of the doubt is out the window." "Y/N," "Let's just focus on finishing this stupid mission so I don't have to see your face ever again."

**

"How long until the building collapses?" You asked Stick as you looked up at the shaking building. Matt and Elektra were still up there while everyone else was still safe on the ground. You rummaged through your duffel bag and took out a launching hook.

"You can't use that from the outside," Jessica says. "I have to try," you rushed up about twenty feet from the building and shot up to a beam that was sticking out of the building. You tested it out with your weight and it remained sturdy.

"You remember which floor he was on?" You yelled over your shoulder to Jessica. "Around the twentieth, I think!" She yells over the sirens and horns.

You pressed the trigger and it lifted you off of the ground. You didn't allow your gaze to fall to the ground so you looked up to the sky instead.

When you heard Matt's grunts, you clicked the trigger to stop pulling you and kicked off of the window to gain momentum. You braced yourself as you came crashing through the window. You hooked the gun around the desk so it didn't go anywhere.

"Matthew!" You yelled. "Y/N?" He said in disbelief as he held Elektra, waiting for the moment to end. "Y/N!" You followed his voice and a pang hit your chest when you saw him holding Elektra. You never had a chance. You thought to yourself.

"Come on, I have to get you guys out of here," you grunted as you helped Matt to his feet. "You're not safe here," "Neither are you. People need you out there," you tell him. He holds his side as you walked him to the opening you made. "You two can go down together,"

"No, then how are you going to get down," the building rumbles and you all fall to the ground. "You let me worry about that. Go!" Elektra put the wire attached to the gun into Matt's hand and wrapped her body around his. "We have to go, Matt."

"Y/N," "Go, Matty." You pushed on his chest and he stares in your general direction. He was about to let go of the gun when Elektra grabbed it and launched them both out of the window. "No!" Matt yells as he descends down the building and lands on the sidewalk.

"Why did you do that! She going to die up there." "She told us to go," "I don't know what I ever saw in you," "You didn't," Elektra walks away. "She's not going to die on my watch," Luke says as he walks passed them and stares up at you looking out of the broken window nervously. "Y/N, jump out! I'm going to catch you!" Luke yells.

"I can't!" You yelled down at him. "She's afraid of heights," Matt tells Luke. "You need to let the paramedics take a look at you," Jessica tells Matt. "Not until she's back down,"

"Y/N, I'm the only one that can catch you without breaking anything," your stomach cramped at your nervousness as you stared down below.

They all look like ants. There's no way you're going to survive this. You shook your head at him and turned away from the window. You held on to the desk as you saw the room started to spin.

You felt lightheaded and before you know it, you're falling to the floor. "She's gone," Luke says. "Y/N! You have to jump or you'll die! Y/N!" Matt yelled up at you but you couldn't hear him as the rumbling of building intensified.

The last thing you saw before closing your eyes was pitch black and the wind rippling through your clothes.

You were knocked unconscious from a falling rock and laid there in the rubble as a massive beam falls on top of you and crushes your body. Matt tunes everything out and listens specifically for your heartbeat. It was faint but he heard it and spirits into the rubble.

Some search and rescue people followed Matt to where you were and pulled you out of the rubble. They attached you into the backboard and carried you into the ambulance.

**

You've been in a coma for five days. Doctors were surprised that you even made it to the hospital. Nearly every bone in your body was shattered.

Everything except your skull. They put you on a morphine drop before they reset your bones before putting an entire body cast on you.

Matt hasn't left your side since you were admitted, but you weren't responsive. Foggy, Karen, Luke, Jessica, Danny and Stick all came to visit you at one point. They only came once because they hated seeing you so lifeless.

Foggy and Karen came by with new flowers, like they always do every day. But this time, your monitors were all powered off and Matt held your casted hand.

"She.. stopped breathing five minutes ago." "Oh my God," Karen whimpers. "Go get a nurse," Foggy tells her.

"There's no rush," Matt says softly. "No, you don't get to give up on her," "I never gave up on her! I never left her side! She held on this long because she the strongest woman any of us had ever known. But the pain.. it was too much," Matt snapped. A nurse came in and nodded to Foggy.

"I'll give you guys a minute," "Thank you," "I thought she stopped caring about me because of what I did. But she never stopped caring, even when I made the wrong choice." Matt says after a long silence.

[dragonbugsuperior]

Something that I've been meaning to say about Miraculous's "Rich Girls".............

Before I even go into this, All you Lila, Chloe, and Kagami stans out there I suggest to skip this post, leave disgusting comments and I'll block and report you because I'm saying it now, that I will be saying some things about Lila, Chloe, and Kagami that aren't really pretty. If you like their characters "Yay!" good for you,

Nobody cares. grow up

So........something has been on my mind lately and I would like to get it off my chest because it's just been stuck in my head and I think it's good if I do make some clear points that clearly people are missing in regards to the show's "rich girls". So Marinette.....has been going through alot this past season and people are saying stupid things like "Oh wE NEeD a NEw LAdyBUg!"

Or "oH MArINeTtE iS teRRiBlE At dOiNg heR jOB!"

Let's dive right into this

I'll start with Chloe first. Chloe bullied Marinette. She has for 7 whole fucking years. Marinette has done nothing to Chloe literally. She hasn't bullied her, talked about her, criticized her, she has done nothing to that girl. But oh! Chloe is some rich snobbish brat that thinks everyone below her should be treated less of a human than she is. Where was her mom when Chlow started to go to school with Marinette? Also Chloe's mom not playing a big part of her life doesn't excuse her terrible behavior and awful treatment she has given marinette and students at her school. Just because her mom is a total snob and shallow person doesn't mean Chloe has to be exactly like her. It's okay for Chloe to express sadness and frustration but what's not okay if for Chloe to lash out all her negativity on Marinette as if Marinette has done something to her. Her parents have really failed her and she has failed herself. She's so full of herself that I'm starting to believe she's delusional. Clinging onto Adrien 24/7 at school like their some type of couple is already mouth-gagging. Like girl, he is not some toy that is all yours and that you can just cling yourself onto. I'm glad Marinette calls her out on her bullshit and handles Chloe's ass and she's not afraid to do so.

And that tacky ass makeup really defeats the purpose because it's makes her look worser than her personality. Tired of these blonde stuck up popular rich girls that think they can just overrule people.

Treating everybody around her like her peasants is clichè mean girl shit. I'm willing to go as far as to say she's a fucking narcissist. Having excessive interest and admiration for herself and treating everybody around her like shit as if she's 10 times more important than they are when in reality she's nothing but a spoiled brat that's jealous because she knows Marinette is better than her.

2nd to last....Lila

Literally 'lie' is in her name. She lies her mouth off and thinks she's fooling every fucking body. Marinette knows damn well she's lying and tells her up to her face in Chameleon. I'm sorry but her lies are ridiculous and the class is so undeniably stupid for believing her bullshit. Yea she's another "spoiled rich girl" her mom is present in her life but we know nothing about her dad. Don't know what happened to him and I don't care to know what happened to him. I know one thing though. Just like in Chloe's case, her dad being absent doesn't make it "okay" for her to be a two-faced person who can pathologically lie to people for personal gain. That's disgusting and weak of a person. She literally frames Marinette and corners her in the bathroom to a wall and pushed herself down the steps to look like she's actually injured. Her fans can try to shed all the light they want on her character but that's never gonna erase all the terrible shit she's done. And once again! Marinette has done nothing to Lila and somehow Marinette is Lila's main target. She lied about her friendship with Ladybug just to impress a boy. Her negativity she's trying to pass onto Marinette isn't working because Marinette is strong and optimistic. I can't believe she had fans, cough looks like a knock-off version of Dora cough. She's so stupid she really thinks Adrien wants to be with someone like her. A liar and manipulative bitch. lol

Kagami.......

"But Jen she's only been a character since season-

Yea I already know how long she's been in the show but that doesn't mean that I'm going to get her the benefit of the doubt. First time she met Marinette she treated her terribly as if Marinette did anything to her. Then again, people like to claim she's from a strict household so that gives her an excuse when it really doesn't. Secondly Kagami in general seems phony, Marinette is trying to be her friend and give up on Adrien just for her!!! and so she can grow as a person!!!!! Kagami chose Adrien over Marinette while Marinette gave up Adrien just so Kagami can have him. Seems like the only reason Kagami really wants to be friends with Marinette is because of Adrien. But let's not get into that.... In Animeastro she acted like she had a problem Marinette was talking to Adrien. I just don't get her at all. One minute she wants to be Marinette's friend (which I believe is completely fake) and then the next she's glaring daggers at her as if she did anything to her.

I don't even want to fucking hear "Oh but Jenny, Marinette didn't confes- SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Marinette has tried time after time to confess she's always getting interrupted. Kagami thinks of Adrien like some prize to win all for herself after only knowing him for not too long. Give me a break then she's the one who got akumatized over a fucking picture instead of asking Adrien "hey, what's this?" She got salty and got akumatized. In Frozer, Adrien told her that he had feelings for someone else, she jumped to conclusions and thought it was fucking Marinette and suggested him to "switch targets" he told her he wouldn't and she still pushes him to literally kissing him and then getting mad because he rejected it. Girl! Did he not fucking say that he has feelings for another girl and he won't be switching targets. She's really that desperate that she's telling Adrien to get over that other girl, and she's so fucking desperate she tried to kiss him then got mad when he didn't kiss her back. Let's not forget she literally cut out the fencing class picture and left Adrien and herself out. Then she gave us a little "insight" on how she views Adrien in Oni-Chan. "Image of Perfection" she likes Adrien because he's perfect? That's funny. Because for 1, he's not nobody is and for 2 that's a stupid reason to like somebody. Let's not also forget when she literally lied in Miracle Queen about the villain attacking people in love. She knows Adrien likes somebody else so why is she trying so hard to push into being with her? Desperate much? "We're so alike" and Kagami really believes their soulmates? She should just shut the fuck up. She sounds stupid as fuck. How are you "soulmates" with someone you just met not too long ago. Bless her delusional soul. After he rejected her kiss and only knowing him for 2 seasons. Liiiiike......are you that desperate for a boy. I can't wait to see her reaction to when Adrien dates Marinette. Lmao

It's so funny how all these girls think Adrien's theirs when in reality Marinette is his true soulmate and is gonna end up with him in the end. Adrienette is literally endgame. There's no need for people like Chloe, Lila, and Kagami to get on the way of that. It's also funny how people like to claim Marinette as the possessive one when all these rich spoiled brats have gotten akumatized over him, cling onto him like he's some coat rack, and go out their way to make Marinette feel terrible. And marinette has given Adrien up. The only real clear reason I can see the 3 of them act bitchy towards marinette without a reason would be because they're jealous and don't have the best lives at home and wish to be like marinette.

If I'm not mistaken who's the one that got bullied for 7 years straight and tries her very best to be strong? Who's the one that literally got sexually harassed by Felix? Who's the one who has anxiety? Who's the one who has pressure and responsibilities hunched all over their shoulders? Who's the one that has go around every fucking day to save their city? Oh okay. Everybody always wants to talk about how tough they are without actually going through some real shit. Because I don't recall Lila, Chloe or Kagami going through any of these things while treating Marinette like shit. Kagami is the one that lied to Adrien, Kagami is the one that treated Marinette like crap, Kagami is the one that pushed Adrien after he said he had feelings for someone else /this b*tch didn't even wait/, Kagami is the one that is acting like Lila and Chloe. Let Marinette act like how Kagami did, I'm pretty sure she would've got bashed.

Once they go through all that bullshit then we can chit chat until then, they don't know what struggle is. Spoiled ass brats who clearly don't deserve Adrien because they're immature. They think Adrien's "theirs" they pushed themselves on him as if they can't live without him and they do sneaky shit in order to be with him. Lila and Kagami have clearly showed they would lie to get with him and Chloe does too. Marinette has the courage to let Adrien go, I'm pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot Kagami would never let Adrien go.

And before people go around saying how it's their parents fault they act do toxically and immature (bc ppl like to give them excuses for their "mommy and daddy" issues) it's really not. Yes, it's partially their parents because they raised them but they also have a big role for their actions. No body is responsible for making Chloe, Lila, or Kagami a better person. No body. Stop putting the blame all on their parents because it's not just the parents I'm pretty sure Tomoe didn't teach Kagami to "lie" in order to get with a boy. Kagami chose to lie to Adrien in Miracle Queen with her own free will. Nobody said "lie to Adrien" Kagami lied that's her fault Nobody told Chloe to bully and belittle Marinette, Audrey is very shallow and brat-like but I don't recall her ever saying "Chloe bully Marinette" Nobody told Lila to constantly lie and manipulate people hell, her mom doesn't even know she's doing it! None of their parents are responsible for certain shit they do so stop pretending like their innocent kids that have horrible parents. I don't have time to analyze if Kagami is like Chloe and Lila or not because I know she is like them she acts just like them. Treats marinette like crap but acts different when Adrien's around. Simple. I tried to give her character a chance in Oni-Chan but after hearing how she views Adrien and how she acted in Miracle Queen I hated her even more than I did before.

Truth be told, Chloe, Lila, nor Kagami are nothing without Adrien. If we're really gonna go there. Their just some pointless characters that want to get in the way of things and can't stay in their places. Marinette made this show, she's the center of the plot, without her their is no Chloe, without her there is no Lila, without her there is no Kagami.

Call me absent-minded but I see alot of jealous hoes and I'm not with that shit at all. Sorry not sorry

[thundergrace]

did you see the preview for the next episode of gen q?! really hope tess isn’t actually dating cherie. and bette had so much chemistry with pippa! very excited to see what happens with them.

I saw it!!!

I don't understand what they're doing here with Tess and Shane. I don't know why they..... whatever I'm just going to reserve judgment because I've been very much into everything they've done so far this season, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt here.

Oh my Godddd!!!! Bette and Pippa! Okay let's talk about it. That was so fucking sexy. I knew it. I don't know what it can be long-term but man I want someone like this for Bette. Bette didn't get one word of bullshit past Pippa. Bette only responds to being challenged. It attracts her to Gigi on some level, but I think Gigi mostly challenges Bette by taking her out of her element. And it is very sexy.

But Pippa challenges everything that makes Bette who she is.... everyday she cares about. She challenges Bette professionally and artistically.

I think it could be a really beautiful relationship which is why it probably won't be. Lol well one thing is is Bette attracted to Pippa or is she just infatuated with her because of her work? I think if they're gonna fall apart it'll be because of this question

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, AM before community service vibe, hit me with it] Jimmy: [I think he made her breakfast but he didn't make her breakfast in a cute way he just like threw it at her lowkey and all his focus is on the kids and Twix so even if he brought it to her in his room which he probably would, he was just like straight in and straight out with nothing to say] Janis: [which she'd probably brush off as just that tbh 'cos not a dick and already knows he lowkey does everything for them, so she's not gonna be fully freaked out as of yet even if it's a bit awkward, they sometimes can be still at this point so it'd be like oh but not OH yet] Jimmy: [we all know he's not a chatty kathy and neither of you are looking forward to community service so yeah it's just like okay but then he's also not saying a word on this bus/train whatever they are using to get their ride] Janis: [and there's no not noticing that] Jimmy: [like he's probably got headphones on and he hasn't shared/ is drawing the whole time etc be more of an antisocial teen I dare you] Janis: [like she'd be trying to get him to chat for a bit but she's not gonna not take a hint so then it's awkward] Jimmy: [well done boy so mature of you] Janis: [save the row for after community service though 'cos cutting you the slack of maybe you're dreading it that hard/are that pissed off about it, as if she isn't too/this was fully your idea to get into trouble as well] Jimmy: [I love that you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt babe and obvs there is a bit of FML because he's got a full plate/doesn't wanna do this/is still in dublin when he was doing it so they could leave etc but we know what's really up] Janis: [to be fair, it's more like not dying to have this convo, like don't wanna seem like you're #tookeen even though expecting him to be normal ain't that but still] Jimmy: [can't be Grace about it in any way, don't blame you girl] Janis: [so obviously once this awkward however many hours is over, going your separate ways which brings us up to speed] Jimmy: [how hardcore he would've ignored her makes me die like how are you keeping that up for that long, you aren't that busy] Janis: [it'd be hilariously obvious if it weren't making her fuming instead, like] Jimmy: [thank god he's at least got his dad and siblings in his grill to distract him because we all know how badly you wanna break that resolve and just say something to her] Janis: [meanwhile nothing but time 'cos you ain't even trying to go home rn] Janis: If it's gonna be a problem for you, I'm sure I can get moved onto different hours or a different project altogether Jimmy: Do what you want Janis: It's community service, hardly comes into the equation Jimmy: you get what I mean Janis: Sure Janis: if it makes no odds to you then you don't need to make such a job out of ignoring me, like Jimmy: you don't need to flatter yourself that hard, mate Jimmy: bit busy weren't we Janis: Again, hardly Janis: it wasn't that taxing but yeah, you seemed well stuck in Jimmy: ain't such an athlete like you or nowt but gotta give it 🥇 Janis: If you like Janis: long as you show up, they record your hours either way Jimmy: sound like you've done this before Janis: I don't want to make my rap sheet any longer than it is, if that's what you're so concerned about Jimmy: yeah first priority that, keeping you on the straight and narrow 👮 Janis: Now you've got jokes Jimmy: Who's joking? Janis: That's my question Jimmy: I've CLEARLY got nowt else on, what with community service being such a piece of piss and you being a dream come true Jimmy: 'course you're gonna be top priority Janis: Don't be a dick to try and win an argument we ain't having Janis: obviously you don't wanna do it, neither do I Janis: but you signed up for it, I didn't force you so no point being moody with me over it Jimmy: 1. I am dick and I've never been nowt else Jimmy: 2. I could give less of a shit about community service, I told you that before Jimmy: 3. I signed up for getting in trouble, like you said, this is barely it Janis: I'm not disagreeing but you've always asserted you ain't thick so you've changed your stance on that one or you're being a stupid dick right now Janis: so your plan didn't work and your next one is to work really hard at said not trouble Janis: that makes sense, sure, tah for clearing it up Jimmy: You an' all so you should know what this about and what it ain't about Janis: That's code for let me ignore you in peace, thinly-veiled at best Janis: like I said, I'll move and then you can, if that's all you've got to worry about, you're welcome Jimmy: it's not code for owt it's a loud and clear, leave it out Jimmy: I didn't sign up for this Janis: For what? Jimmy: You're gonna try and fake this now, are you? Jimmy: like you don't get it Janis: I literally don't know what your problem is Janis: stop being a pussy and say it then I will Jimmy: Then just get out of my face Janis: I'm not in your face, fucking hell Jimmy: You're in my head and I don't want you there, alright? Janis: I didn't put myself there Jimmy: it's my fault then, whatever, nowt should've happened Janis: Alright Janis: then forget it did Janis: what, I'm gonna force you to do that now too, fuck off Jimmy: how the fuck is everything so easy for you? it's getting beyond a joke now, rich girl Janis: It ain't Janis: but what the fuck am I gonna do in response to that, ignore you back? Jimmy: Why not? It's obvs working so well for me over here Jimmy: that'll be why I need you to spell out what I should be doing as a next move Janis: I'm not going to tell you what to do on that one, that'd be fucked up Janis: you make up your own mind but you didn't ask me mine or give me a fucking chance to explain it either so yeah Janis: don't be assuming fuck all about my side of it Jimmy: I don't wanna hear your side Janis: Then yeah, you shouldn't have done it Jimmy: Tah for keeping up with what I said ages ago Janis: Whatever Jimmy: just fuck off out of it Janis: Fuck off telling me what to do Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: shit'll get worse than this? Janis: Your life is shit, yeah Janis: and I'm making it worse? Janis: Alright, if it were my fault then you'd be able to do something about it but it ain't so you're still fucked Jimmy: so comforting you Janis: you don't want comforting Jimmy: What do I want? Go on Janis: I don't know and I'm not offering an answer Jimmy: shut up then Janis: Why should I Janis: and why have you Jimmy: what kind of question is that for fuck's sake? Jimmy: I'm trying to sort my head out here and you're Jimmy: you're just Janis: Your head is fucked Janis: who's ain't Janis: I was just being your mate Jimmy: I can't forget about it Jimmy: or you Janis: You didn't look like you were having no trouble icing me out all day Jimmy: well I were Janis: Do you actually have to Jimmy: What else am I gonna do? Janis: Just be my mate, like before Janis: doesn't need to be complicated, like Jimmy: When were it simple? Janis: alright, so simple is an oversimplification Janis: I'm not fucking asking to be your top priority or dream or anything like that though, thanks Jimmy: And I'm not really saying that Jimmy: but being around you is like a ⏲ on a 💣 Janis: Well, why can't you Janis: why can't we Jimmy: How can we? Janis: seemed like you had the hang of it last night Jimmy: funny Janis: I don't think it needs to be serious Janis: mope about the state of the rest of your affairs all you want Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: we had a plan, this weren't part of it Jimmy: that's all I'm saying Janis: It don't need to be related to that either Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Alright Janis: we hooked up 'cos we wanted to, yeah Janis: so what Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a dickhead Janis: always have been Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: take my sorry Janis: I don't want it Janis: just Jimmy: so what do you want? Janis: Tell me what you want Janis: then if its the same and we need to change some rules then we can Janis: and if it ain't then at least I know and we can go back or not do it at all Jimmy: I asked you first Jimmy: and I showed you before that Janis: alright Janis: well I wanna do it again, obviously Janis: but not if you're gonna be a total twat, like Jimmy: I'm probably gonna be a massive twat Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I'll try and be a massive twat in a way you'll like, alright? Janis: My type, yeah, I remember the bit Janis: Be whoever you want, we don't have to know each other for this either Janis: no more than we do now Jimmy: mates, I remember an' all Janis: Right, so you don't have to blank me and be awkward, there's no point making this community service shit worse Janis: obviously the fake shit could confuse it but we know it's fake and anything that'd be weird to bullshit now we can cut out, change the rules, that's what I mean Jimmy: I won't make it weird again Janis: I get it Janis: 'cos I was still there in the AM, yeah Janis: we won't do that again Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's been ages and I weren't expecting owt to happen, least of all with you Janis: Likewise Janis: weren't the worst thing to ever happen though, was it Jimmy: I wouldn't want it to happen again if it were, that kinda thing ain't a #kinkunlocked soz if you're 💔 Jimmy: I know Mr Lucas is well into that shit but he's one of a kind, like Janis: Lucky for you we're not here to compare and contrast Jimmy: gutted for you 'cause you'd actually be 🥇 stood next to my ex Janis: can't all be RE teachers with halitosis 😍 Janis: I'll hold back on the sympathy card for her for now Jimmy: she'd never read it, can't Janis: 😏 shut up Jimmy: you don't want me to Jimmy: had a right mard on about my silence Janis: if you hadn't had enough of me telling you what a dickhead you are, I could carry on Jimmy: can never get enough foreplay me Janis: clearly Jimmy: you coming round or where are we going? Janis: There's probably a rule about this I should know, yeah Jimmy: you said we're writing our own rules Jimmy: has Bill's 👻 got his hopes up for nowt? Janis: nah, sounds like more fun than making you wait 3-5 working days 'cos you've pissed me off Janis: which I'm pretty sure is the advice so Janis: where else can we go right now Jimmy: my dad's car can take us anywhere you wanna go Jimmy: or just be the place we're alone in Janis: Alright Janis: gonna say, you don't need to take me anywhere Jimmy: bit 💔 that we didn't have this chat earlier, I'd have taken you all over our new bestie's house Janis: Likewise Janis: there'll sadly be other bullshit parties where less sadly you can actually mess my hair up Jimmy: you reckon we can use our new status with 'em to demand 💀👑 has a party at hers right now? Janis: Worth a shot Janis: bet she LOVES being a wingwoman Janis: ask if we can borrow one of her guest beds Jimmy: only if we actually use hers Jimmy: she LOVES a lie Janis: worth the risk of her NEVER cleaning her sheets again tbh Jimmy: she'd never have the strength tbf Jimmy: and all her maids are probably running round decapitated so Janis: 🐍 can definitely eat 🐔s whole Jimmy: yeah but then the 🐔 ain't crossing any roads to get her a new lad to torture or owt else she might NEED Janis: Ohh so that's what that's about Janis: makes so much sense Jimmy: 😱😱 SHE SAID NO 😱😱😱 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: like, jealousy is a disease, babes Jimmy: Asia said yeah but I dunno if I wanna go to her house Jimmy: might never make my way out again Janis: NEVER having a threesome with you and Asia Janis: idc how accomodating she is Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: accept the invite to the group 🗨 I started at least Jimmy: we're having a bloody top time Janis: I guarantee I can think of plenty more fun games to play Janis: all part of the foreplay, yeah, gotcha Jimmy: you tell me where to pick you up from or is hide and seek the first game? Janis: [somewhere in town that's not near his enough that she would just walk] Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: Feeling well patient Jimmy: [a 🔥 sext] Jimmy: that'll help Janis: I hate you Janis: not like I've been thinking about it since you left Janis: or like I'm in public rn Jimmy: 🤔 that don't sound like you hate me enough Jimmy: [an even more 🔥 sext] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I hate you so much Jimmy: I'm alright with that Janis: Good Janis: 'cos I intend on showing you just how much when you get here Jimmy: 🤞 I only get done for speeding on the way back Janis: 👮 cockblocking is not a thing I wanna get used to in my daily Jimmy: be alright, they look after their own, weren't that what you said? Janis: Sure, your fake ID also your badge, like? Jimmy: you gonna let me have any secrets? Janis: Depends, of course Jimmy: go on Janis: How interesting it is Janis: keep your boring ones by all means Jimmy: they're all boring 💔 I know Janis: I'll survive Janis: no fear Jimmy: unless I 💀💀💀 you Janis: yeah right Janis: catch me holding my breath on that one 😏 Jimmy: might be hard to breathe normally in a bit, yeah Jimmy: I get that Janis: Shh Jimmy: no need, there's nobody to risk waking up this time Janis: 1. I wasn't even that loud Janis: 2. I don't think anyone even woke up anyway Janis: 3. was your fault so Jimmy: 1. too right you weren't, that's what I'm saying, can be as loud as you want now Jimmy: 2. I'll take the blame for last night and the credit for the 🔊 in a bit Janis: Don't reckon your dad's car is soundproof Janis: but yeah, we can find out Jimmy: weren't planning to leave it somewhere any dickhead can enjoy the show Janis: Good to know Janis: can't just ambush a person with dogging, v rude Jimmy: heads up for next time then Jimmy: can't enjoy myself without 👴 about Janis: Fair play Janis: Lucas was in your wardrobe so 🤷 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: tah, the reminder'll get me through this Janis: So charming Janis: go back to telling me to fuck off, that was better tbh Jimmy: I've got hotter chat but if that's what you wanna hear Janis: Really Janis: where have all these words sprung from then Jimmy: feeling inspired Janis: 👻🖋💘 Jimmy: you're trying to give Bill my 🥇? bit rude Janis: I'm saying he'll be buzzing Janis: s'one old pervert who'll always be about Jimmy: well now I am an' all Jimmy: won't have to fake nowt for you, what a relief Janis: Funny 🙄 Jimmy: what's funnier is I might be lost Janis: You better be joking Jimmy: I'm just warning you, girl, I'm surrounded by houses, which don't look right for where you said you were Janis: What are you like Janis: no, I'm not getting you to pick me up from my previous, like Jimmy: 😎🚬 obvs Jimmy: hang on, I can do this Janis: Your navigational skillz ain't required for foreplay Jimmy: wouldn't be decent if I had none though Janis: 😂 Jimmy: Alright, I'm back where I fucked this up ⏲🤞 Janis: My faith is so real Janis: 🙏🙌😇 Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: got you something for the sorry you don't want Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: as long as my dad ain't Janis: You just stolen his car or? 🤔 hmm Jimmy: his car and the most #goals bottle from his stash Janis: 😍 Janis: that's for the bottle, obvs Jimmy: charming Janis: not faking shit, remember Jimmy: I'll have my 😭 when we've gone our separate ways and you're cracking on with the drink Janis: your loss if you ain't staying around to finish it with me Jimmy: would be a 💔 loss Janis: Be smart then Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: but alright, I'll have a go Janis: you have to stick around for a bit anyway Janis: give me chance to actually earn that 🥇 Jimmy: I've got nowt else on, been smart there, 'cause knowing you it'll take ages Janis: Piss off Janis: you don't know, that's the point Jimmy: calm down, mysterious lass not gonna unlock your secrets and your kinks Jimmy: have still got a job to go to, like Jimmy: can't be on a constant clock with you Janis: You coming to fuck or what Janis: don't put yourself down so much 💕 Jimmy: the point I were making were, if it's one of the other, we're both agreed on which one's getting 🔓 Jimmy: ain't trying to read your diary even if I were capable Janis: Duh Janis: Point I was making is you don't know how long it'll take me 'cos you didn't give me no chance Janis: no deeper than that, gotta relax, mate Jimmy: giving you the chance now, dickhead Janis: so grateful 🤤🤤😍 Jimmy: dunno how grateful this car will let you be but if anyone's a pro at 🙏🙌😇 against them 😈 odds it'll be you, Jules Jimmy: truly inspiring shit Janis: Bigger than confessional Janis: I got this Jimmy: time's come to prove it Jimmy: get in the car please Janis: As you asked nicely Janis: and I have wanted to do this all day Janis: [sup] Jimmy: [hands her the #goals because it's unopened bottle like good evening] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face like okay boy, I see you 'maybe finishing the whole thing and getting this car back in one piece is a bit ambitious then'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and starts driving them to wherever they can get enough privacy so enjoy the VIBE in this car for a bit lads] Janis: [trying to think of a way to say 'I missed you' that isn't purely that 'cos not trying to freak him out again so sat there drinking and 🤔] Jimmy: [sneaking all the looks at her that he can while still safely driving because ofc] Janis: [same obvs 'cos not driving so can be more shameless so enjoy all that accidental eye contact 'today was so...boring'] Jimmy: ['tomorrow'll be owt but' another look like challenge accepted and 😏 though god knows what you think you're gonna get away with sir] Janis: [IRL 🤞 and a shrug 'it can be'] Jimmy: [reaches over and uncrosses her fingers and then writes 'will' as in it will be on her hand with his fingertip like I got this] Janis: [just casually way too affected by that simple touch 'cos it's been a whole day and you're high-key, holding his hand for a bit but like HARD not cutesy 'cos intense af rn and then letting it fall to rest in your lap like hey] Jimmy: [driving a bit faster so you can get there faster without even really being aware of it and obvs leaving that hand there] Janis: ['you're not gonna get lost this time, yeah' half question half observation] Jimmy: ['be your fault if I do, won't it?' because she's his human sat nav but also v distracting] Janis: ['can't be that bothered, lost is where we need to be right now'] Jimmy: [nods because where's the lie] Janis: [just giving him swigs from the bottle like your parents' spidey senses are going off so hard rn] Jimmy: [I'm internally screaming you bad eggs] Janis: [my boo say safety first] Jimmy: [he 100% doesn't have his seatbelt on either because of that rib injury #tut tut] Janis: [I'm loling you grandma ily] Jimmy: [I do hate seatbelts tbf they are so uncomfy] Janis: [tru tea, we out here risking it all in all the ways Jimmy: [to be a 15 year old rebhog] Janis: [not gonna kill you for it don't worry] Jimmy: [get there before the sexual frustration kills you though] Janis: [we're definitely stopping at the first place that is deemed suitable, regardless of the plan] Jimmy: [mhmm that is the whole plan, stop as soon as you can lol] Janis: [we all know there is zero chill with how fast you're gonna be on him] Jimmy: [she's on a #mission just like he was the night before] Janis: [out to prove this is the best idea ever like debatable but we know where it ends up so go off] Jimmy: [he's got no room to say shit cos fake dating was his idea and like what the fuck was that boy] Janis: [love a bad idea moment, y'all are blatant god bless] Jimmy: [case in point taking this car wasn't a good one] Janis: [100% could lose your license before you get one] Jimmy: [at least your dad won't dob you in cos doesn't want police at his door again so soon] Janis: [like you stay away from those ribs 'til they're healed sir] Jimmy: [and his face because she'd know and we ain't ready to have that convo] Janis: [they've not been arrested/ran from a crowd recently enough and he doesn't seem like the type to be out brawling even if she don't know his life so yeah] Jimmy: [behave yourself Ian thank you very much, verbal arseholery only rn] Janis: [but this moment is not at all about you so good day] Jimmy: [nothing is ever about you sir but especially this] Janis: [when this is purely about them and that's why it threw y'all, no one to hide behind here] Jimmy: [the headfuck of feeling something really intensely for someone you don't even know/are pretending you don't even like] Janis: [least we can fake that this is purely sexual even though it's already not, see how long you can last lads] Jimmy: [It's gonna be fun tbh] Janis: [if you were confused before lollol] Jimmy: [so many mixed messages all the time good lord] Janis: [we should have the flat whites invite them to something to be fake at] Jimmy: [yeah just for that really awkward shift they'll have to do from the REALEST to the fakest cos we're evil] Janis: [like it should be something they can't just sneak off from to fuck, not easily anyway lmao, use your basic brain to think of a thing it could be] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna do here before we send them off to the hellishness that'll be chilling at Mia's?] Janis: [we know the vibe here I think, and they can get the invite before going their separate ways even so makes it easier] Jimmy: [literally as soon as they're done like oh hi] Janis: [fun never stops, will need to take this car back and walk tho lads] Jimmy: [at least you'll have plenty of time to 🚬 cos dreading this] Janis: [to the point you were definitely like shall we even but you must, dedicated to this plan] Jimmy: [this can be point scoring with 💀#2 cos in Mia's own home as well, she'll be livid] Janis: [if Asia is being all extra with her man, can easily spend that quality time with her and the tall one] Jimmy: [oh Asia, you know her man is gonna be so OTT too and not in a goals way] Janis: [lowkey like get a room, not that you two can talk but that's in a party setting usually, not your weekly sleepover moment lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna be adorable tonight cos gotta keep it #goals even if they'd rather get a room too lol] Janis: [at least you have some form of being a bit much but only so much you can get away with without being rude and you're tryna be friends now so unlucky, just 🚬 and talking over gameplans 'til you arrive] Jimmy: [when you're 😒 the whole walk but you gotta snap right into 😍💕] Janis: [when it's so confusing 'cos you do like each other but you're pretending you don't and then you have to be really OTT which is like a lil' too much, obvs, but some bits would be kinda nice like ???] Jimmy: [such a headfuck of a time, I love it] Janis: [we evil, so is Mia, hello] Jimmy: [it's just hit me that she'll have to wear his clothes for this sleepover moment because that's where they went he wasn't taking her all the way back to cali's to get shit and like I'm not fine] Janis: [right, she was wearing #2 dress, then they went back to his, so whatever she had on before the dress she would've had to put back on for community service so that'd be way too dirty by this point to wear tonight, make that a moment, bye] Jimmy: [RIP to me and Jimothy because you know she looks so good rn] Janis: [I'll see if I can find anything but it might all be a lil TOO basic but defs a thing like oversized top and boxers moment, when you out cute Asia and her mans when you walk through the door] Jimmy: [just effortlessly 🥇 you two] Janis: [we all been knew honey] Jimmy: [he should make them all personalised smoothies and get her to help him because way to score points because he's actually good at it but also they get to be alone for a hot sec because those rich bitches aren't gonna get involved like Grace and Tall Tammy would but Mia would 100% stop them by being all I need you to do such and such] Janis: [that's such a good idea, they'll be buzzing, even #2 if they made something uber clean and healthy] Jimmy: [yeah Janis' would probably the only one that'll actually taste nice because the flat whites will have gross healthy green ones or whatever but they'll be pleased put some fuckboy protein rich shit in Asia's bf's one] Janis: ['feel more normal?' 'cos so weird to be hanging with them for you both for different reasons] Jimmy: [looks down like he's in desperate need of that barista apron and does an OTT pout but we know he's surviving really] Janis: ['yeah, I'm gutted too' looking him up and down like not hot without it 😏] Jimmy: [throws something at her like a tea towel or banana peel not a plastic toy being wanged at her jaw full pelt sir] Janis: [lmao, batting whatever it is away like 'OMG, DON'T MESS AROUND HERE' 'cos her mum must do something with her days so I bet it's show-home levels] Jimmy: [Grace don't be spilling that smoothie you'll get murdered babe but you two have a little kitchen playfight when he throws something else at you cos that bitch and still in that flirty mood from earlier] Janis: [leave a mess on purpose 'cos not here to befriend you hun like whoops soz, we all know we're gonna need someone to come in and stop this going into a full thing so should be #2 for the throwback] Jimmy: [Mia sending her in cos she's a control freak and can't bear that they're in there living their best lives] Janis: [already mad at Asia on the low 'cos of her mans, the minions are not behaving rn lol] Jimmy: [she would not want him there AT ALL and you know Mia would be gutted she's not with Harry to bring him and make it awks] Janis: [like she does not want a boy seeing her in her PJs or doing a face mask or something 'cos she only hooks up so she'll be sitting there not joining in at all like 😒 probably with Grace if we're being real] Jimmy: [yeah cos Grace don't want anyone to see her doing anything ever unless she has perfect make up so] Janis: [got her on side at least] Jimmy: [meanwhile jj are just snuggled drinking their smoothies] Janis: [just imagined the kermit tea meme there for some reason] Jimmy: [Asia's bf probably downed his cos such a #lad] Janis: [#ladsladslads you know they don't drink at these things usually like why would they waste the cals but gotta 'cos he's here to seem so cool oh ladies] Jimmy: [Mia getting angrier by the second] Janis: [like how do I throw these boys out of my house without getting a rep as a total uncool bitch lmao] Jimmy: [*cough* lesbian] Janis: [we all know the invite was 1000% just for Janis and they've just ignored that lmao] Jimmy: [#tea I dread to think what cringe film they are probably watching rn] Janis: 😴💀🤢 Janis: please kill me Jimmy: [does something saucy like suck on her earlobe because okay I'll kill you but 'subtle' enough that the flatwhites can't be too mad but will still notice] Janis: [purposely takes some more blanket for them for the cliche of the flat whites thinking they're gonna be being saucy underneath but doesn't actually initiate anything 'cos was appreciative enough and it shows 😳] Jimmy: [gets even closer to her even though they were already close af for the cliche but also because he just wants to] Janis: [everyone pretend to focus on this cringe romcom quick] Jimmy: [giving her all the 😍 that are SO FAKE YEP and touching her so much not in a saucy way just in really soft ways like imma just lightly brush my fingertips over any skin that's exposed nbd] Janis: [we all know that kills you lowkey so much harder and you know he knows that so you're like 😒 but also in no way tryna stop him/leaning into him] Jimmy: [no boy that none of y'all flatwhites have been with would ever, like take a sec to just compare any of that to what Asia's bf would be doing #gross] Janis: [none of us wanna think about that, least of all Asia probs] Jimmy: [you missed your chance gal] Janis: [imagine, what a duo] Jimmy: [still would ship it harder than Ro and Drew though] Janis: [we can all be thankful we're not witnessing that rn, though he would be getting out of prison now-ish and she ain't dead yet either] Jimmy: [ew, I'm gonna just bring it back to JJ by saying he kisses her but in a really soft teasing way cos gotta kill her but again it looks chill and romantic compared to how extra Asia and her man are so points won with the rest of the squad] Janis: [when you are so mad but the 😍 are not fake either] Jimmy: [you both love this who are you kidding] Janis: [y'all do too much so now you're salty you've got to sit here and be vaguely sociable with these hoes lol] Jimmy: [casually counting down to when you can go have a smoke break without coming across as being rude] Janis: [way longer than you would like that's the tea, resting your head on his shoulder and absentmindedly pressing his sternum area, gently, checking how his healing is coming along without even thinking about it] Jimmy: [gotta play with her hair soz Grace look away] Janis: [just having emotions over there don't mind her, meanwhile, you have to show how BORED you are by laying in his lap instead, 'cos there's only so fake you can be without it being unbelievable] Jimmy: [they're all aware she's a bad bitch global] Janis: [like to think Tammy is just genuinely loving it lmao] Jimmy: [being such an attentive boyfriend by asking her if she needs anything to drink or eat or whatever quietly cos faking that you just genuinely wanna know and don't wanna disturb anyone else but we know they all 👂 and Asia is fuming on the low that her mans don't care at all] Janis: [breaking that bro-code and making him look bad, he will be so mad, oh no 😂 'causing drama with how #goals you are as standard, just snuggling into him harder in response like no, don't wanna move or have you leave thank you] Jimmy: [such a good snuggle moment ensuing, god bless] Janis: [fully imagine Mia switching this off like let's do something else 'cos she's so mad] Jimmy: [yaaaaas we must] Janis: [hmm, maybe some kind of sport moment like tennis is the cliche of course] Jimmy: [her dad would 100% have a tennis court or some bullshit lol] Janis: [such a posh girl flex, unless we're gonna commit and make her a horse girl but they will lose it lmao] Jimmy: [one of them definitely should be but maybe Asia or Tall girl because Mia would never give that much of a shit about anything lowkey like she has her eating disorder and her JJ obsession that's all folks] Janis: [that's true] Jimmy: [Mia has 10000% lost Grace if they gonna do tennis because she would not be about it, unlucky hun you can't win tonight] Janis: [I feel like it was her idea to show off to the lads 'cos she'd probably be good at it 'cos daddy's girl but like Jimothy is not interested and I doubt Asia's man is unless you're putting the whole outfit on babe] Jimmy: [I love how hard this has backfired] Janis: [she should nab Jimmy to play doubles but you don't know that JJ love competition so ha, make Janis play with Asia's boyf and hope he doesn't totally suck] Jimmy: [tbf Jimmy wouldn't have ever played before unless they do in PE some time or something cos not a posh boy so Mia would be thrilled to have him on her team while he gets the hang of that] Janis: [awkward moment when this is her gay fantasy and the lads are just there lmao] Jimmy: [at least he can make a thing of getting Janis to 'teach' him and shamelessly flirting because she'd be even more annoyed than she was before then] Janis: [when they won't do exactly what you want, oh Mia] Jimmy: [gotta order all the takeout at the insistence of Asia's bf so she actually has a breakdown] Janis: [so much food, Chinese fosho] Jimmy: [this is why Asia likes you boy] Janis: [bahahaha the 😍] Jimmy: [highkey the only reason she brought you along] Janis: [and to get fingered in front of her pals, obvs, cheers boy] Jimmy: [what a horrific visual so i'll imagine instead how much blatant shade JJ are whispering to each other to the point that Mia would defs know but she can't prove anything cos they could just be being saucy] Janis: [hohaha when you're literally gonna give her a breakdown tonight] Jimmy: [ultimate goals] Janis: [whispers 'tell me this ain't good foreplay' for the bants] Jimmy: [😏 because can't piss himself loling and then kisses her 1. so he doesn't 😂 and 2. in answer to what good foreplay it is #bants] Janis: ['think he's ready now' loudly @ Mia like teaching is over and so 😏 @ him] Jimmy: [I think it should be a draw because that'd annoy her thinking she'd win easily] Janis: [a mood, deffo, like you know Janis is sporty even if she ain't a tennis bitch, sort it out] Jimmy: [when you'd wanna play again to try and beat her but nobody is arsed like Jimothy is 100% gonna use the excuse of them being outside to pull Janis away to 🚬 and get a break from Mia] Janis: [can say they'll wait out front for their food also like further distance so they can actually chat without any chance of them being extra and nosy with it] Jimmy: [well played lads] Janis: [I also think they shoulda done really OTT grunts when they were playing 'cos amusing me so it would them, even if we inadvertently turn Mia on lmao] Jimmy: [bahaha] Janis: [#worthit] Jimmy: [gotta have whatever fun you can cos this would so crap] Janis: ['you reckon this is just her way of saying she's reconsidered on the spare room, like?'] Jimmy: [doing that lol you couldn't before] Janis: [we know when he lols it makes her 😍] Jimmy: [gotta have some back because she's so beautiful bye] Janis: [when you gotta make out hard to cover any feeling that ain't strictly sexual 'it's so good to actually do this properly without any of the bullshit for them'] Jimmy: [going as hard for the same reason but then after she's said that also going harder because you want her to feel even better than good cos 🥇 and you genuinely think she means it] Janis: [just being all kinds of hot with your 🚬s sharing smoke between making out 'promise you're gonna make this feel worth it by the end of the night?'] Jimmy: [going in even harder than you already were like I'll make it feel worth it NOW honey] Janis: ['fuck, Jimmy!' when you're already so frustrated and you've not been here that long 'we don't have to go back in, yeah' when you definitely do and you're not saying let's do one but you wanna pretend that much right now] Jimmy: [just dying because 1. you're as frustrated as her 2. you know she is and 3. she said your name so when you try and give her an answer it's just SUCH a noise but that's the best indication that you're on the same page rn that you could've given anyway so] Janis: [the biggest and realest 😍 'cos 'that was so fucking hot' and you can't not let him know in all the other ways beyond telling him] Jimmy: ['you' because she is the hottest and we all know it] Janis: ['for you' and the MOST eye contact honey] Jimmy: [just being as extra as Asia and her bf now soz not soz 🤞 that food doesn't show up for a bit lol] Janis: [soz delivery dude you're getting a show] Jimmy: [not that soz though because wouldn't even notice you atm] Janis: [literally gonna have to make a right song and dance of your approach like 'scuse me lads] Jimmy: [I just imagined the delivery man literally doing a musical number cos I'm a nerd] Janis: [lmao, also you're gonna have to go back whilst this is hot or Asia and her man will be raging] Jimmy: [can't let all your hard work being fake nice go to waste] Janis: [the saddest of times] Jimmy: [if they weren't having much fun before they'll have even less now we're forcing them to go back in] Janis: [Mia you better not start rn she'll be spitting blood from biting her tongue, like] Jimmy: [we should have her dad come back when they're all eating so Mia really wants to die] Janis: [Oh lordy, deffo, helping himself to the food too 'cos a rude dickhead] Jimmy: [oh god of course he would] Janis: [I bet he's lowkey creepy with her friends, not like he'd do anything but it's just awks] Jimmy: [just an uncomfortable vibe at all times] Janis: [everyone enjoy this, Mia try not to have a stroke] Jimmy: [at least JJ can be cheered by how much Mia is clearly hating life rn] Janis: [just being like 'your dad seems cool' 😏] Jimmy: [Asia chatting away to her dad oblivious god bless that dumb bitch] Janis: 💔 for you boys Janis: so blatantly wants a Daddy™ Jimmy: ain't even hungry now 💔😭🎻 Janis: [taking some of his food like if you're sure] Janis: now you're really devastated Jimmy: You're a dickhead Janis: Calm down, chubbs Janis: [offering her plate like swapsies] Jimmy: [fake 😍 as he takes it but obvs gotta be cute and feed her even when you're 😒] Janis: adorable Janis: ➕✔ Jimmy: try not to 🤢 like Jimmy: [Mia's dad 👀 taking her off to have a weird™ convo about boys] Janis: won't waste the food Janis: hit #2 with the fatherly advice whilst Mr Daddy is busy Jimmy: [does chat to her cos that bitch] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: Rude Jimmy: ? Janis: I want some 😏 Janis: feeling left out Janis: clearly the most in need, no other bitch here is in community service Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: [cos obvs gotta sit on his knee you're not 🎅 boyy] Janis: [does though, looking at him with big eyes like he's about to drop some real wisdom on her] Jimmy: [does whisper some stuff to her that he knows she wants to hear though] Janis: [a lil noise like 'scuse her] Jimmy: ['now that was rude' so only she can hear it and know that you're dying thanks very much] Janis: ['kinda your fault' whispered back 'cos well] Jimmy: [😏 unrepentant actually] Janis: [likewise that you ain't moving now you're here not soz everyone] Jimmy: [he loves it so you can deal ladies] Janis: [definitely not helping with the frustration but we know that's why you're doing it lads #shameless] Jimmy: [we 👀 you and so does Mia as she comes back from that fun chat] Janis: [if looks could kill] Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪 Janis: Well greedy, her Janis: had your turn already Jimmy: you better 💀💀💀 me quick, mate Jimmy: she reckons she can beat you to it Janis: 🎾 you to death Jimmy: hot Janis: that's definitely a shit horror movie Janis: give you all yankee accents and football and cheer uniforms and we're good to go Jimmy: rich girl rampage Jimmy: 🍅🍅 out of 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Janis: not alright with that score Jimmy: 🍅 or 🍅🍅🍅? Janis: Soz, just not used to not being 🥇 Janis: so strange Jimmy: I'll 🖋 you a decent film baby Janis: 🤤😍 Janis: Babe! Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can't wait to tell everyone you're gonna make me famous, OMG Jimmy: basically have done with my 📷 Janis: been a while, bighead Jimmy: can you wait a bit longer or what? Jimmy: [such a LOOK because we all know what he means] Janis: What if I can't? Janis: [a LOOK back] Jimmy: [literally can see how hard he's trying to think of a way to sneak off even for a second like] Janis: ['you're so cute' 'cos can just say that and no one's batting an eyelid] Jimmy: [when you're like oh that's so weird because I don't feel good at all rn big song and dance to try and leave this table with her immediately] Jimmy: [💀#2 backing up your fake story inadvertently like #same cos wanna be 🤢 thanks gal] Janis: [real mvp right there, so OTT like feeling his forehead and getting a glass of water for him before making Mia direct you to a bathroom] Jimmy: [I'm loling, what a shit evening you're hosting babe] Janis: [also lol how bad y'all are at this like we didn't know] Jimmy: [JJ doing the most to salvage their night] Janis: [and just doing the most] Jimmy: [#tea] Jimmy: [make sure you lock the bathroom door this time kids, don't need Mia coming to 'check he's alright'] Janis: [learn from your mistakes, when you know you don't wanna be interrupted this time 'cos not for show] Jimmy: [I do vote you get back in the bath though for the mems and because there'd actually be room for both of you to lie down unlike the state of Ian's car earlier just put some fancy towels in there so it's not freezing on any bare skin] Janis: [so considerate] Jimmy: [I is and he is] Janis: [just don't accidentally turn it on when you're getting carried away here] Jimmy: [cos god forbid rich people turn a tap you'd probably only have to push a button or something boujee] Janis: [exactly, and as amusing as it'd be, you're already down to wearing his clothes rn and you don't wanna borrow Mia's instead tah] Jimmy: [they would not see the funny side rn, levels of frustration are too sky high] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [not gonna be that mean lads you've already struggled enough by having to be here doing all this flat white bollocks] Janis: [Asia's boyf is deffo gonna say something gross to Jimmy and Asia should overhear at least and they go off to have an argument for the lols and awkwardness factor for all] Jimmy: [100% here for that because how real] Janis: Shit stirrer Janis: 😏 Jimmy: he must've heard I've only got the one good 👂 Janis: 🤞 that's all he heard and his own 👂s ain't as big as his gob, like Jimmy: 😏 Janis: How many boyfriends can we make her get through Janis: the real question Jimmy: Depends Janis: on Jimmy: first off if 💀👑 properly snaps tonight 🔪🔪 Janis: I would give that a strong 90% likelihood but tennis probably took it right out of here, no way she's gonna be up for a spree now 30% at best Jimmy: don't have to hold the 🔪 herself that's what her minions are for Janis: yeah, and look at the state of 'em Janis: #2 got no strength ever, my sister is squeamish as hell and wouldn't risk her manicure for it Janis: lurch might be up to it, if she's not too busy recording herself 'dancing' Jimmy: Alright, won't put my hard earned 💰 on owt Janis: so, what's your 2nd point Jimmy: Depends how long we're stuck in the BFF zone an' all Janis: 'course Janis: could continue to fuck up her 💕life after but that's only something a real good friend would do so Jimmy: duh Janis: have to be quick Janis: don't know how much of this I can hack Jimmy: we could just go on account of me 💀💀🤢🍜 Janis: sexy Janis: we could Janis: but it'd mean more hangouts more times, if we get this done, we've made loads of progress Jimmy: 🥇💡 mate Janis: 🔥 thank you Jimmy: 💣 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: speaking of, if I smack that lad after they've spent ages rowing I'll get a 🏆 instead of losing points, yeah? Janis: who from? Jimmy: who else but my true love? Janis: that's 50/50 Jimmy: ugh, but I wanna smack that dickhead Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor you Janis: 💔 Janis: could be making up as we speak Jimmy: Oi, I don't wanna start actually feeling 🤢 tah Janis: he could be the love of her life Janis: gutted Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🖋 a play about it Jimmy: will do Janis: sure it'll be a masterpiece, mate Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: all the 🦎 and 🐸 lads, like a more grim wind in the willows Janis: 'course you'd write a play with no girls in Janis: proper 👻🖋 move Jimmy: unless you wanna be in it Jimmy: only got the one muse, don't I? Janis: yeah Janis: not my fault your true love ain't very inspiring, like Jimmy: is a bit your fault Janis: you want me to give her lessons on top of being her bezzie mate Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: I am Janis: she ain't Jimmy: bad worker blames their tools, girl Janis: 🙄 Janis: can only be one or the other Janis: your type or your muse Jimmy: could be the artist himself Jimmy: might just be a bit shit Janis: depends what we're rating you on Jimmy: the finished 🎨 what else? Janis: the ❤s don't lie Jimmy: but they ain't worth as much if you're getting 'em for stuff like holding the brush the right way up Janis: can't get you an audience with taste Janis: if I knew where they were, wouldn't be here, would I Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: as muses go, you're alright Janis: Oh, tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: was gonna compliment you but if that's the level, I'll save it Jimmy: if I want one, I know how to get 'em Janis: I'm sure Janis: not from me though Janis: 😶 Jimmy: [does his best to try and get one from her, excuse him everyone] Janis: [shamlessly enjoying that] Jimmy: [you better give him one gal cos he's not gonna stop until you do #shameless] Janis: you are such a dickhead Jimmy: top at giving out compliments, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: afraid you'll never know Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and shamelessly back at it again at krispy kreme because we're all bored of the flat whites and no other reason oh no] Janis: [the levels of the lady doth protest too much, excuse them everyone, assumedly you're all entertaining yourselves right now/pretending not to watch] Jimmy: [tik toking like your life depends on it or something lol] Janis: ['alright, alright' out loud but not actually gonna compliment you 'cos then it wouldn't be real and we all know it] Janis: I was going to say you're better than you fake Jimmy: you can have that back an' all Jimmy: without having to force me Janis: you're only being generous 'cos I said it first Janis: don't lie Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'm saying it 'cause it's true Janis: 'course it's true Janis: having to fake I'm even slightly like them puts it down 1000s of points Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: like you said, holding the brush the right way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm giving it to you for Janis: Yeah, my art ain't all that Jimmy: I dunno, you have your moments Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏 back] Janis: why do you reckon they do this Jimmy: got my 💰 and ⏲ on for human sacrifice Janis: roll on the witching hour Janis: 'cos this is dry Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Jimmy: I'll find a way to make it #goals Janis: [IRL 🤔] Jimmy: [at least we can pretend the 😍 at how cute she is are fake] Janis: being boring is catching or I've just got a one-track mind Janis: you can't be the only thing in this McMansion worth doing Jimmy: should've used that backhand to beat her at 🎾 Janis: I am livid I didn't Janis: but you know what I meant Jimmy: you're not in the 🗨 with Asia Jimmy: bored but not yet 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: you are? Jimmy: always Jimmy: but I meant even northern ain't that thick Janis: I can only imagine what she can find to talk about Jimmy: herself obvs, that's all I wanna hear about 💕 Janis: 🙄 Janis: my point exactly Janis: that's one 🗨 and out Jimmy: [lies all over her dramatically cos SO BORED] Janis: [huffs as dramatically like take the hint ladies] Janis: she still trying to get on you then or what Jimmy: ? Janis: Asia Janis: in your DMs Jimmy: she's still got a boyfriend, last I heard Janis: Obvs Janis: but if she's willing to break girlcode Jimmy: she wants to date someone #goals Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: Yeah Janis: still, gutted there's not more solid proof she's a shite friend and feminist Jimmy: could get it if you want me to though Janis: nah Janis: reckon they know it Janis: I wouldn't trust any of 'em anyway Jimmy: not 🧠💀💀💀 either, you Jimmy: Is Mia's daddy still here or what? Janis: not in my DMs Janis: you had an idea? Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: just bored enough to try and cause that breakdown Jimmy: [IRL thinking winnie] Janis: he'd clearly go for it Janis: fucking perv Jimmy: don't reckon lads are his type any more Jimmy: boarding school were a time and a place Janis: 💔 babe Janis: his distrust of teenage boys is well telling Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you got any ideas in that big head or what? Janis: plenty Jimmy: I get it, you want me to make you tell me them an' all Jimmy: Alright Janis: can't say it weren't fun Jimmy: [we out here doing the most again to not be bored, bonus that Mia is livid] Janis: [she gonna snap Janis: [maybe she should and they can be like well give us a tour then so can be nosy] Jimmy: [as a nosy bitch I love that] Janis: [she can show-off and be a general posh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy lowkey shooketh by her big posh house but not gonna give her the satisfaction of knowing] Janis: fuck the spare room Janis: taking the west wing, like Jimmy: not sure you'll have enough leg room Janis: Beats my current digs Jimmy: not in the middle of nowt for a start Janis: anywhere beats there, obvs Jimmy: might move myself in, see how long it takes her to notice I ain't paid staff Janis: literally stealing my ideas but fine Janis: big enough for us all Jimmy: you'd have to just hide Jimmy: can't get the rich girl off you Janis: shut up Jimmy: but then how will I make a massive echo calling you a dickhead? Janis: You'll manage Jimmy: [playful nudge to annoy both her and tour guide Mia] Janis: [gives him a dirty look and an apologetic one to Mia like ugh, sorry about him, really trying to focus here] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: don't act shocked Janis: how you think the rich stay rich Jimmy: I were gonna offer to give you a piggy back so you don't exhaust yourself going round this massive palace but you'd never make it over the rich v poor divide to get on Janis: divide you put up and maintain Janis: just financed it, like Jimmy: gotta keep it looking nice, girl Jimmy: bit of working class pride or some such bollocks Janis: beats this middle-class minimalism Janis: besides, your injuries aren't healed enough Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: [a look back like you weren't worried earlier when we were doing all that saucy behaviour] Janis: [😳 and looking away] Jimmy: [walking ahead on this tour cos only so fake he can be before it's unbelievable and peeps know he's antisocial] Janis: you'll have to be back early for your sibs, yeah Jimmy: If you need an excuse not to have a cosy little breakfast with her and daddy, we can use that Janis: well yeah Janis: can't say I need to go to the gym if she has one Jimmy: watch her try and make us wait on her for our community service hours though Janis: she's so Janis: you know you go to the same shit school we all do, right Jimmy: bet her dad's 💔💔💔 Jimmy: could also fake that mine gives a shit where I am, there's another excuse banked Janis: not totally untrue the way your phone blows up sometimes Janis: no wonder her ma is depressed Jimmy: none of 'em need to know that's all my other girlfriends Jimmy: least if her mum shows up I can get back on track with causing that 😱😱😱 Janis: 'course Janis: her ma is her double so have fun with that Jimmy: 🤤🤤 Janis: don't make me 🤢 Jimmy: you'll have to swallow, food poisoning ain't gonna work a second time Janis: good thing I don't want you looking after me Janis: won't have to make such a scene, bound to be another bathroom soon Jimmy: won't thank you in my oscar speech then Jimmy: save it for my true fans Janis: you do that arsehole Jimmy: [comes back purely to talk to Asia like okay I shall] Janis: [is fuming] Jimmy: [I dread to think what she's saying to him but we know he can fake like he doesn't regret this instantly so] Janis: [just on your phone like there's something so interesting rn 'cos if you storm off they'll all notice] Jimmy: [is her boyfriend still there or nah cos I'm loling if he is] Janis: [assumedly, yeah, so you could talk to him for the pettiness of it all but we all know that wouldn't be fun so better to be going through your DMs like you're gonna respond Jimmy: [talk to some of the others as well boy, including Grace cos you know that'll annoy the bae] Janis: [😒 just coming up like 🚬 please and charging ahead to the garden/end of this tour] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna follow you gal even if it wasn't expected of him] Janis: [🚬 in silence like go away] Jimmy: [his turn to be on his phone while 🚬] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [takes a pic of her 😒 face because he's a dickhead] Janis: ['delete that' when you're so moody lol] Jimmy: [does not] Janis: ['Oi' louder like he didn't hear] Jimmy: ['what?' boy you know] Janis: ['delete that picture now'] Jimmy: ['calm down, not gonna post it' still hasn't deleted it] Janis: ['that's not the point'] Jimmy: ['what is your point, Judith?' when you're just asking her why she's so mad like you don't know] Janis: ['I don't want you having photos of me on your phone' and coming over with your hand out like gimme] Jimmy: [does give it to her because 💔 by that] Janis: [deletes it like there, not so hard 'thank you' and handing it back] Jimmy: [just taking his phone back like this is super casual] Janis: [we're all fine and casual 'cept you so aren't and you're just here seething like hope the rest of you convinced Mia she weren't allowed to come out and 👀] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 as soon as you're done with the first one, nhs direct will be fuming at you as well sir] Janis: [never gonna heal at this rate lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [not the time to have that argument sadly] Jimmy: [fight fight fight] Janis: [More likely than admitting why you're actually pissed off but instead just laying down on some sun lounger bullshit and closing your eyes like lalalala] Jimmy: [that would be an artsy photo but we not gonna] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: [so awkward cos you know he's not leaving] Janis: [when you just laying there waiting but you can hear he ain't like what to do] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's using this time wisely to deal with all the texts and shit he's been ignoring from Ian throughout the day and if there are any new ones from Cass cos not ignoring her ever] Janis: [be productive boy, we know you're ignoring all your fam all the time on the other hand so, finally sitting up like 'if you ain't gonna do this properly, we may as well just go now'] Jimmy: [comes to sit on the sun lounger the furthest away from the one she's on as a nice parallel to when he sat on the other end of the bench as far but as close as he could on school trip, but not yet looking up from his phone 'what are you on about?'] Janis: ['I mean, if you're going to jeopardize the plan by doing some ungoals shit I'm meant to then have an argument with you about, I can't be bothered, this is too much ballache as is, right'] Jimmy: [repeats what he just said but looking at her this time as if that will make her answer differently] Janis: [blinks at him like, really? 'what part of that did you not get?'] Jimmy: ['might be the part where you're not pulling your weight, fuck knows why I can't get my head round that though' sighs 'It were you stropping off and it were me who had to follow you to keep shit goals'] Janis: [a noise like um, what 'aside from the fact you walked off first, so you can't even have a go at me for it, I had to 'cos you were being a dick and what else could I do in response to that, nothing'] Jimmy: ['I walked off from the tour 'cause it's bollocks but I came back and now none of 'em could say I were being a dick' shrugs like the whole point is we play fake nice with them] Janis: ['yeah none of 'em can say that alright' 🙄 like don't be dense about it] Jimmy: [comes and sits on the end of the lounger she's on just looking at her 'what did you wanna do?' in reference to not being able to do anything else about him being a dick 'go on'] Janis: [looking back 'all I want is to not look like a twat in front of them, literally that's all' shrugs] Jimmy: ['Alright, you won't' draws a ✔ on her with his fingertip really softly and then looks back up at her 'promise'] Janis: [goes to say something multiple times but just nods 'cos safer] Jimmy: [just holding her hand and playing with it in a really soft way without thinking about it] Janis: [breathing out but in a calming down way not frustration] Jimmy: [a hug because that's something they do as mates nbd] Janis: ['this is such a headfuck' what part] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna do nowt that fucks you over' because way to say you care without actually doing it] Janis: ['we're on the same page then...' shakes head and then puts it in her hands like eurgh 'forget about it then?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where he goes to pat her on the head for bants but instead just strokes her hair cos he's the softest boy] Janis: [lying your head in his lap again 'just don't fuck Asia, yeah'] Jimmy: ['wouldn't if she paid us' has never meant anything he's said more than that lol] Janis: ['I'm glad to know the secret menu ain't just yous being pimped out, like'] Jimmy: ['me an' all'] Janis: [just snuggling on the low] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: ['we could sleep out here' like probably not in your current attire but you're well used to sleeping outside otherwise] Jimmy: ['if you want' because he's done it too lbr and also we know he'll do anything she wants to] Janis: ['probably have to wait 'til they're asleep' sighs] Jimmy: ['no challenge that' these boring bitches are gonna go to sleep early obvs] Janis: ['even lizard boy will wear himself out after a go, like'] Jimmy: [a lol but a grossed out sound with it] Janis: [lols back 'as far as fake boyfriends go-' running her fingers up and down his arm '-thanks for not being scaly'] Jimmy: ['least I could do when you're so...' not gonna finish that sentence thank you] Janis: [looking up from his lap like ?] Jimmy: [just looking back at her like] Janis: [wrapping her arms around his neck to pull her face up and his down to meet it so she can kiss him] Jimmy: [letting this be a full make out moment even though you've been out here ages and the flat whites are gonna be gossiping cos idc] Janis: [none of us care, Asia you got no room to talk today lol] Jimmy: [likewise Mia you've been the WORST host so you can't say shit either] Janis: [obviously you will be but still, we do not care at all] Jimmy: [and we know most of them are team JJ at this point so deal with that babe] Janis: [lmao she will never] Jimmy: [Oh Mia] Janis: [truly what is this obsession, we will never know] Jimmy: [when even Grace is like dial it back and she's the OG of having an obsession with Janis so] Janis: [is she your twin sister who you miss and don't think loves you? no, I don't think so and we know you don't like any boy so even if you wanted to bang Jimmy you wouldn't need to be this weird about it] Jimmy: [mhmm wants to bang her own dad more like] Janis: [awkwardddd] Jimmy: [not the issue of why she can't but imagine what he'd look like please] Janis: [my boo like he ain't even hot haha] Jimmy: [tea though] Janis: [we all know it] Jimmy: [we should have her mum be there being cringe when they go back in so lowkey they haven't noticed how long JJ been gone even cos ugh] Janis: [dranking, flirting with Asia's man 'cos inappropriate parents yay] Jimmy: [a richer less trashy version of Carly's mum basically but her husband's doing the cheating instead of her] Janis: [that's the vibe, watch out Jimothy] Jimmy: [he walks in and wants to walk straight back out immediately so HAS TO pull the bae closer to him soz not soz] Janis: [protect ya mans from this sad middle-aged lady, like] Jimmy: [for real, sitting as far away from them all as you can without making it obvious meanwhile just pulling her into your lap like DON'T MOVE EVER THANK YOU] Janis: [getting to be real cutesy with it, said like you weren't snuggling outside lmao] Jimmy: [any excuse to be softer than you're pretending you like rn] Janis: [thanks for the excuse lads] Jimmy: [whispering shade about her weird mum so you don't have to think about not knowing where yours even is or if she's alive or nah] Janis: [just loling on the low like babe, you're so funny, 'cos obvs you've never met the bitch either and wow, what parents she has, she's gonna wanna die, oh Mia] Jimmy: [I'd feel bad for you but you're an evil bitch so I don't and what's more important is that Jimothy is clearly lowkey sad] Jimmy: [they wouldn't notice but we know Janis always notices things so] Janis: [squeezing his hand like you good?'] Jimmy: [just snuggling into her more because nobody's batting an eyelid at that] Janis: [kissing his forehead and murmuring something comforting about him still not feeling well 'cos fake sick earlier] Jimmy: [we're leaning into this narrative because nobody wants to be here] Janis: [nobody bitch, making a point of getting really cosy like we're gonna go to sleep now like Mrs Mia can you fuck off lol, putting a blanket over them and a pillow behind her head so he can stay sleeping on her] Jimmy: [the only time Mia and Janis have agreed on anything cos she really wants her mum to fuck off also] Janis: [just stroking his hair like he always do] Jimmy: [don't cry rn boy there's no styling it out] Janis: [just wait out these awkward last moments 'fore everyone goes to sleep lads] Jimmy: [everyone just faking they are asleep like let this end] Janis: [gonna take this opportunity tho] Janis: hey Jimmy: Alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Jimmy: best night EVER Janis: 😏 Janis: least we worked out why they're all such bitches Janis: this is their idea of fun Jimmy: least it weren't all shit Janis: the food was pretty good, yeah Jimmy: meant to be me who's the fat fuck Jimmy: don't be coming for my 👑 tah Janis: I'll let you keep it Janis: no 🐸 Jimmy: can't fight you for it, too unfit, me Janis: shut up Janis: you're well fit, babes Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💖 Jimmy: [draws a heart with their initials in on whatever bit of her skin he can reach rn] Janis: [stops breathing for a hot sec] Jimmy: [keeping that hand wherever it landed so casually] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: what do you wanna do when we get out of here ⛓ Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Janis: Something actually fun Janis: I dunno what yet, I'll be thinking Jimmy: Alright Janis: is Tammy asleep already or does she need an Oscar? Jimmy: [throws something at her that can't be traced back to him because he's so asleep and so ill bye] Janis: [he'd feel the lols she's holding in so hard rn] Jimmy: [tickles her a little bit but like too lightly to actually make her lol] Janis: [just squirming away so hardcore I hope no one else is that close to yous two] Jimmy: [pulling her back to you even closer than she was before if that's possible] Janis: [when you wanna makeout so bad but you also feel so soft so you're like no we can't but also why not ahh] Jimmy: [we know it's gonna happen lads] Janis: [try to be quiet there are so many peeps in this room with you not asleep yet] Jimmy: [there's your excuse to be softer with it cos a bit quieter well it would be if you weren't so into it] Janis: [just clenching your fists 'til your fingernails cut into your palms tryna be quiet over here when you're fully dying] Jimmy: [at least he'd obviously be dying as much imagine if one of you was really into it and the other person was like meh] Janis: [you both love it that's why there's no denying that, if there ever was tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [consider not going all the way here though tah lizard boy is 1000% listening and he doesn't deserve the show] Jimmy: [I know you really wanna lads but I really don't wanna give him those mental images or sound effects] Janis: [though he should totally spread it around that you did 'cos just real] Jimmy: [he's so that dickhead] Janis: [playing into Mia's hands, someone has to this sleepover has been a total fail for you babe] Jimmy: [suddenly don't hate him as much do you hun] Janis: [new bff lol] Jimmy: [you two should totally sneak off though cos nobody can stop you if they fake sleeping] Janis: [you simply must] Jimmy: [Mia's room blatantly] Janis: [fuck on her bed and go through her things, literally the least she deserves] Jimmy: [making what would already be a 🔥 hook up even better] Janis: [least you can make some noise, her rents room is probably a million miles away 'cos posh people] Jimmy: [love that for you two] Janis: [mood and a moment, shame you can't sleep in there] Jimmy: [well they could as long as they get up before Mia does which realistic cos a bitch is on death's door] Janis: [lmao, it's just a weird fuck you flex that I'm about] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [taking a selfie so smug] Jimmy: [yaaas] Janis: [we'll pretend it's just for blackmail purposes later and not 'cos he looks that good but there's no denying your 😍] Jimmy: [we know they love an excuse for a photoshoot and the 😍 are mutual af] Janis: [honestly just staring at him appreciating for a hot sec] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? boy you know] Janis: ['it's rude'] Jimmy: ['what?'] Janis: [points at him like 'you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head and points at her instead trying not to blush] Janis: ['you're so' not purposely copying him from earlier but here we are] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her so you don't say something that we can't take back] Janis: [relatable] Jimmy: [I'm like how else can you fuck with Mia while you've basically got free run of her gaff rn lol] Janis: [there's got to be shit, like as long as you keep it quiet, you could do anything, within reason] Jimmy: [ninja-ing through the place] Janis: [also what can you do that she won't be able to say shit about/immediately know/assume it's you two hmm] Jimmy: [gotta be sneaky but yeah idk] Janis: [I wonder, maybe there's some cringe photos of her from childhood they could find? Jimmy: [love that and OMG maybe this is too far/ not feasible if her dad is like sleeping in his study wherever but I just thought what if they found something cringe about him/ his latest affair etc] Janis: [my mind was also there like no doubt his phone has a passcode but what if his laptop or something is open with an account logged in, I wasn't sure] Jimmy: [I say fuck it why not he's probably not that smart/ not expecting the sneak attack/ drunk] Janis: [let's do it honey, yo to the lo] Jimmy: [they're only gonna use it if she deserves it like when she gets him fired or something so it's her own fault] Janis: [mhmm, we know she has it coming so save it up honey] Jimmy: [that's her sorted then is there anything else we wanna have happen/ be said between them?] Janis: [1000% signing up for the dating apps and shit to find him...CATFISH HER DAD lmao we probably just need to decide how we're having them leave in the AM and then that should be good though] Jimmy: [obvs they gotta leave early so probably assume they can sneak off but I think they should all be up working out because Mia's that control freak who makes the squad except like Asia and her bf who refuse to get up lol] Janis: [what a disturbing scene like soz we gotta go rn immediately still] Jimmy: [Jimmy like I'm not dressed for your zumba fitness and also I'm not a wine mum so bye] Janis: [just get to be vaguely passive-aggressive about doing a real workout like buhbye] Jimmy: [love that for you both, Jimmy like I've got a puppy to walk because I don't kill and eat small living creatures 🐍] Janis: [so glad to be out of there alive tbh] Jimmy: [I dread to think what kind of weird intense workout Mia would actually do, oh girl] Janis: [the others just dying like how is she not] Jimmy: [fuelled purely by the mems of what a shit night she had] Janis: [and what 🔥 hookups they had all over your gaff] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimothy'll be getting through community service because of how good she looks in yet more of his borrowed clothes] Janis: [you need to sneak home for provisions soon babe but not this morning] Jimmy: [#never soz cali] Janis: [you can be home if you want the row or nah, we know the vibe for always] Jimmy: [Twix will never let you leave gal she'll be buzzing to see you] Janis: [like where have you been bestie lmao] Jimmy: [real loves of each other's lives] Janis: [at least community service today won't be as shit now] Jimmy: [thank god, it's hilarious that this convo started how it did] Janis: [shamelessly making up for the lost time like it's going out of style] Jimmy: [living for how highkey you two are always] Janis: [aren't we all, especially you two, random thought but do we wanna have anyone else stand out/be of note in community service?] Jimmy: [oooh that's a good idea boo] Janis: [it has potential if we wanna use it] Jimmy: [agreed, we'll have to ponder, have you got anyone she always takes pics with or anything that you're like when the fuck am I gonna use you?] Janis: [aside from the boys from the Netflix show, not really] Jimmy: [they probably don't look like they're community service lads sadly] Janis: [lmao probably not though this is prime jealousy time for you all] Jimmy: [we should totally exploit that if nothing else because Asia is no actual threat but a community service girl that she thinks is his type, like hello and we know he gets jealous if she literally interacts with anyone rn so] Janis: [why not I say] Jimmy: [all the content we can get from the headfuck this time period is, we gotta] Janis: [right, they're just jealous is the point, there literally doesn't have to be anything in it] Jimmy: [we 👀 you] Janis: [do you wanna skip to a bit of that, or something else, end this here???] Jimmy: [we should probably end this here even if we wanna do some of that because a bit rude to ruin day 2 of community service as well as day 1 lol like give them a good one first at least] Janis: [yeah it doesn't have to be immediate okay leggo]

[prorevenge]

You mess with my cat, I'll bury you.

Sit back, this ended up kinda long.

TL;DR: Shitty coworkers let my cat live in filth for a week while I'm out of town, I get one demoted and crush the others life into dust.

I like to think I'm a patient man. I'm hard to anger, my coworkers say they haven't seen me angry in the 2 years they've known me. I have firm boundaries and as long as you don't cross any of them I can let anything go.

One of my boundaries is don't fuck with my cat.

This story is about 2 of my coworkers and me, and happened the winter of 2013.

So I worked at a veterinary hospital as a vet tech/kennel attendant, and coworker 1 is a kennel attendant(KA) coworker 2 is the kennel lead(KL). KA is the one who comes in to take care of the animals, KL is in charge of overseeing everything boarding and kennel related. They both crossed that very simple boundary.

I went away over Christmas since I lived in another state from my family, and while I was out I left my cat to board at work(one of the perks is free boarding). I trusted my coworkers would take care of him even if it was a top 2 busiest weekend of the year.

So, I set up his cage the night before I leave. He's a shy boy so i set up a tent with very distinct blankets(one is bright green, the other has rocket ships). I kiss him bye, and am on my way. I enjoy Christmas with family, candy and fudge, and other things unrelated to the story, and come back 6 days after leaving.

It's late when i get back, so the hospital is already closed and everyone has gone home. We all have a key so I swing by because I miss my cat and want to take him home.

What I am greeted by when I get to him is those same blankets, the white rocket ships now slightly tan/yellow damp with urine, old desiccated pieces of shit and smears on the wall, and a very stressed cat that smelled like pee. We're talking 6 days worth of filth. All they did was put in more food and change the litter box as far as I could tell.

I saw red.

KA, the attendant, was scheduled to take care of the animals that holiday. KL, the lead, had been there 3 different days I was gone, including the last 2. Figuring out how to destroy these people became the only thing i thought about.

I'm scheduled to work the day after I get back, and KA is there. I don't look at her all day, as it's the only way I could contol my emotions. My blood is still boiling thinking about my boy who I'd had to bathe the night before(much to his chagrin). The sight of her makes that primal part of my brain reserved for beating the shit out of things starts to burn and makes my muscles tense.

(Now some important backstory here is that KA is kind of terrible at her job. We were kind of friends since she was the only one who wasn't shitty to me when I first started. Whenever I'd find something she messed up, I'd gripe to myself but I'd fix it. She did some write-upable shit on a regular basis. I never did anything because KL was already aware and working on her so I figured 'eh, none my bidness.')

I decided against violence and figured I'd let my manager handle it. At first, I just told him about the condition of my cat and kept the rest to myself. He agreed it was unacceptable and said he'd talk to her. She denied everything, said she'd changed my cats bedding every night, that he didn't get all of it in the litter box(unfortunately true, 12lb cat[not fat] aiming at a box made literally for kittens). Basically said I lied to my manager, to my managers face without batting an eye. I gave her the chance to own up to it because that would've come with punishment enough.

My manager told me what she said, and her blatant bullshittery poked the dragon that was already awake and pissed. I told him she's fucking lying, I work in the kennel too and not to mention I know my cats shit well. He believes me, and I not so subtly point out that if she pulls this shit on an employee pet, what has she been doing with the lot of random boarders? Manager thought it was a good point, and asks me to keep an eye out for mistakes and let him know what I find.

The next day, I was in the kennel alone without her, and I began to document every single thing she did incorrectly. Remember me saying how crap she was at her job? She left me a treasure trove of shit to dig up.

To name a few of these nuggets, every single animals cage was filthy, like multi-day filthy like my cats was, two dogs had had their medications switched for the whole week, there were copious amounts of shit left in the yard(big no-no, spreads parasites and disease), and not even her documentation and charges were entered correctly. It was a trainwreck that took me the whole morning to get back to an acceptable condition.

There was material here to get her enough writeups to lose her job if she had been perfect before, and she had already been disciplined a couple times for other shit she pulled. I gather it all together and bring it to my manager, who is horrified and says he's setting up a meeting with me, KA and KL, and him to discuss it all. He encourages me to hold my temper and call them on their bullshit at the meeting. Until then I hadn't even considered KL's complicity in this bullshit, but I immediately realized there were 2 people on my wrong side. KL was not as horrid at his job as KA, he was old as hell in a demanding physical labor position. I figured what he'd got coming will be enough so I could aim everything I'd got at KA.

What's the human equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel? Because this girl had already dug herself such a hole it was incredible she hadn't been fired already. She didn't do her job, she was stealing clients from the clinic by offering to petsit for cheaper instead of offering boarding(explicitly against our contract, fireable). She had been leaving 30 minutes early leaving the shit condition I'd had to deal with. And I knew all of this.

The day of the meeting rolls around, and KA and KL are blissfully unaware when manager calls us into the office together. We all sit down and manager begins to explain what the meeting is about. He was a fucking boss and we prearranged to give KA one more chance to own up to my face and leave out the rest at first. He had asked me how far I wanted to take it, I told him I had a lot of dirt. Let's let KA dig a deeper hole first so I can use it all.

She denied it all, swore up and down she had taken care of my poor cat properly. I graciously gave her the benefit of the doubt, saying ok I believe you did clean like you say, but then how did you miss this dried up piece of shit? She said my cat must've been dehydrated. I say "oh, well you documented he'd been drinking well all week, why would he be dehydrated?" She says it might have been just from the last day. She wouldn't just admit it... So I give my manager the look, and he tells her "ok so you took care of the cat, what about all of this?" And he pulls out my stack of evidence I'd collected.

KA's face paled. KL had been silent up to this point and starts trying to apologize on KA's behalf, saying it was a busy week and things slip through the cracks. I called their shit, saying I had been able to handle as many animals as she had had to a higher degree of cleanliness than the 2 of them could accomplish, so busy was not a valid excuse.

We went over every single sin KA and KL had committed for the past 3 days, individually and in depth with discussion about each one before moving on. As we worked through the stack, manager wrote up KA for every single offence that warranted it. By the end of it she had 6 writeups(3 to get fired). She was sobbing, saying she couldn't afford her kids daycare if she didn't have that job. My manager very pointedly told her he had never seen someone with such terrible job performance in 30yrs, and if she were worried about her kids she would have done her job better.

KL was written up and removed from his lead position, and KA was given the option to quit before she was fired.

The end.

... hah! No it isn't. This is ProRevenge, not GirlOnlyLostHerJob. Oh no, there's so much more.

Remember how she had been stealing clients from the clinic? She had built up quite a large client base, and had told me some weeks before she was about to quit her job and petsit fulltime since she hates her job sooo much. Plus when she returned her key after quitting, she made sure I knew the crying was fake and she was planning to put in 2 weeks in the next couple days.

At the clinic, we still saw all of those same clients she had skimmed all the time, and plenty of them asked what happened to KA. Manager told everyone we should tell the truth, since we had a petsitter we referred to and KA was not it.

For the next few months, we saw so many faces twisted into expressions of disgust, contempt, betrayal, worry when we told them why KA was no longer there and why they should reconsider letting her watch their pets. Literally dozens of people. Anyone who has tried to petsit or do yardwork for a living before knows how hard it is to build that client base. KA had a decent one, which we absolutely destroyed.

After a while, she texted me saying I was a piece of shit who was destroying her and her kids life and she couldn't afford daycare anymore. She went from 2 or 3 petsitting gigs a week(about 300 dollars a week) to maybe 1 a month. I told her to fuck herself and blocked her number, and haven't heard anything since. Bitch.

Don't fuck with my cat.

Updates:

Edit for those saying I'm a shit human for letting this go as long as it did: KA and KL cleaned sometimes, just not enough for my standards. KA had only been there a few months and it was her first big girl job (yes, kidS at 20yrs old), and there's a small learning curve. I figured it'd be ok for a week and was poor as shit at the time so options were thin. Until that week, i was there constantly cleaning to my standards so didn't know how bad these 2 would really let it get. Protocol said lead is informed of performance issues before manager, and as i mention he was aware and KA had already been written up a couple times. I was done when i realized just how far they'd let it go so i went over KLs head right to manager because they clearly weren't handling the issues at all. Even if my cat wasn't affected, I would've done the same, he was just unfortunately there because i had to go out of town. In hindsight i wish I'd said something sooner, but workplaces have rules and i was young and tender, and didn't know it was that bad until then. But yes I'm a terrible person who abuses animals, gets people SWATted, I'm pompous and arrogant and only care when things personally affect me and my cat. You're right, reddit!

Edit 2: I'll take this opportunity to give some advice on how to pick a good kennel facility. Always, i mean ALWAYS, ask to take a tour before leaving your animal. Dont schedule an appointment, ask to go back randomly. If they try to say no, say you dont feel comfortable leaving your pet without an idea of where they're staying. If they still wont, and even a manager denies a tour, take your business elsewhere as they probably have something to hide.

If you do get a tour, here are some things to look out for. Check water bowls for grime and dirt. Some pets are messy, but if a good number are dirty, it's a big red flag.

If the kennel smells strongly of some kind of air freshener, be wary and look around for messes. A good kennel attendant will smell pee and clean and replace things until they get rid of the smell; a bad one will spray some animal odor eliminator and cover it up.

Make sure everything looks organized, properly labeled, and has some kind of system to it. Cluttered storage and unclear labeling is where so many mistakes come from; make sure they take those little things seriously, or something big may slip through the cracks.

Finding a good clinic and good boarding facility can be difficult, but they do exist. And just like you wouldn't want you or your child going to a shitty doctor or daycare, I don't want anyone taking their pets to a shitty veterinary clinic!

(source) (story by Amesa)

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Hey, it's me again. The idiot rambling anon. I wasn't gonna spam you again, but then I read your responses. At this point, I'm convinced you're my alter ego, lol. My thoughts are all over the place, but I'll try to organize them. So, about Nick. I've purposely avoided talking about him so far, but why the hell not? Let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT of of those thirsty fangirls. But even if I was? I wouldn't get offended or butthurt, because another person likes different fictional

2) characters (of all things) than me. I mean, big fucking deal. Each to their own, no need for apologies. ;) (My tone is a little aggressive, I know, but I’m sick and tired of some people on social media –in and out of fandoms– acting holier-than-thou and sending hate messages and even actual death threats (!) to creators or people that express unpopular opinions*. It’s reached a point where many people feel the need to put disclaimers in their posts so as not to be attacked.)

3) Back to Nick. I liked him just fine back in early S1, when he was all mysterious and his background story was unknown to us. When we did learn about it and the fandom started acting like he’s that pure, handsome angel uwu? Nah. Obviously, he’s no Fred/Serena/Lydia,but he’s not a “cinnamon roll” either. (Imo, the only decent dude on that show is Luke.) I mean, if Nick was SO altruistic, he wouldn’t have joined this job. Or even after everything went down, he could have tried to help other

4) handmaids without expecting anything in return. But no, he only helps June and that’s because he’s in love with her. I’m not blaming him for trying to survive under such circumstances, but I won’t idolize him either. Now, in s2? I’m kinda neutral about him. I don’t hate him, but I can’t say that I’m a fan either. Not gonna lie, he bores me at times, because he’s just… there. No sparks, no fireworks. Not sure if it’s the writing that doesn’t do the actor any favors, but his acting hasn’t

5) really drawn me in yet. A counterexample to this? Aunt Lydia. Her personality is despicable 98% of the time and yet. Dowd’s captivating performance makes me want to know so much more about her character.) On the other hand, I’m glad that June has someone (besides Rita) to back her up in that hellhole. She needs comfort and allies. But the whole ‘tRu Love 5eva" fanon thing? No, thanks. Not only it doesn’t fit the tone of the series, but I also believe that sharing an intense, forbidden love/

6) during such a shitstorm is not the same thing as keeping it alive after all is said and done (post-Gilead). Maybe they’ll stay together (as long as Nick doesn’t die), maybe they’ll fall apart. I can’t really see June romantically reconnecting with Luke either. After everything she’s been through… She’s a completely different person now. Unfortunately, the same things goes for Emily and her wife. Even though I’d love to see her interact with both her wife and her child in S3.

———

My inbox is so beautiful right now! Never, ever call yourself an idiot, my friend. (If you are, then so am I!) Brain twins, you see.

(Also sorry about this being out of order lol.)

I was trying not to talk about him too cos generally I just … I prefer not to think about him much. The fangirls, just, *sigh*. I try to avoid as much as possible in this fandom, esp on tumblr. Just hang out in my quiet little, not-Serena-hating corner. I always feel a need to put disclaimers these days cos as much as I don’t really care about random hate, I’d prefer not to have to deal with dogpiles or to look at it lmao. Like people can go around just hating on any character here–especially if they’re women–but say one critical (not even hateful) thing about their male fav and things just go off. 

I’m more than aware the majority of people don’t like Serena and think she’s the worst thing ever. And fair play! (I get it… cos I’m not delusional. She’s awful.) Each to their own. I don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her. (There are a few posts I do engage with cos normally they seem like they want to go deeper in The Discourse but most Serena/Lydia/Eden/Janine/June-hate I just ignore.)

ITA. S1 was, like, okay. That’s Nick. What’s he up to? What’s his deal? (I don’t really care but I’m not opposed to him either. Just like I didn’t care about Luke’s backstory/escape.) He’s trying to be good to June and she needs that.When we did learn his backstory I was not pleased cos he seemed like a twerp but whatevs. Grey characters are grey. It wasn’t until S2 that I started to get irked by him (and the hypocrisy of his fans but that’s a whole other issue). 

I can’t agree ANY more with your assessment of Nick. Like that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been saying! Firstly, he was RIGHT THERE when the Handmaid/Ceremony thing was first suggested and was like “Oh, yeah, great idea!” to Fred. I get that perhaps he was pressured to go along to keep his job but that’s a stretch imo, and if you can give him that sort of leeway, why can’t characters like Eden, Serena, Lydia and June get the same benefit of the doubt for certain things? Why is Nick’s pressure to keep his job more important and forgivable than anybody else’s pressures? It’s like that entire scene doesn’t exist to fangirls and Nick is so precious and in love and wonderful. Then there’s the rape of June. Like I know it’s pretty controversial to look at it that way, but that first time, with Serena overseeing it like a fucking creepy pimp (YUUUUUUCCCKKKKK I HATE IT THANKS) was rape. June barely knew the guy and I’m pretty sure if she wanted to have sex with him it wouldn’t be like that! And sure, after that, it was totally consensual but that first time was not. And I’ve heard the justification and excuses of “Well, Nick didn’t have a choice either!” which I call bullshit on, cos Nick is not some powerless delivery boy. 

He’s a fucking Guardian who is tight with the top Commanders. He’s a man, if nothing else. Serena can act all high and mighty but she’s still a woman in a highly misogynistic society. I’m not convinced Fred would take his wife’s word over Nick’s tbh, especially if it was like “Dude, your crazy wife asked me to fuck the Handmaid you’re obsessed with”. If he really didn’t want to do it that badly, he could have taken that chance to report Serena. Even if Fred wanted to keep it hush hush away from other Commanders, he would have gone after Serena. Men are far more likely to turn on women than each other, esp in THT. But that’s just my take. Maybe I am missing something about Nick’s status. To me, it was like double rape. Neither of them wanted to do it, like that anyway. But Nick also did fuck all to stop it when IMO he did have some power to do something. He is not a helpless victim in that society, imo. Again, probably not a well-received opinion. 

Don’t even get me started on his “Poor me!” routine in S2 when June tells him to have sex with Eden. I’m glad she called him on that bullshit. (But again, over the fangirls heads. Enough about them!)

Basically, everything Nick has done wrong isn’t his choice; he’s just a victim. In a story about women, Nick’s victimhood at the hands of these nasty women and men is the real issue. Blah. Whatever.

I just find Nick lacks total self-awareness about being part of the shitty ass system. He kind of just floats around thinking nothing is his fault and he’s blameless for it all, and he certainly can’t seem to see it from anyone’s perspective except his own. He’s upset about Fred & June’s Jezebel trips, not for her own safety or well-being but mainly he’s jealous. Of course he’s concerned about her safety but I believe it takes a backseat to his jealousy. He just seems to never take any responsibility for anything.

And BINGO about the previous Handmaid. Nothing we’ve been shown has given any hint he cares about any other woman’s plight in Gilead other than June, and only cares about her cos he had a crush/fucked her/is in wuv wiv her. Basically, she’s HIS so suddenly he cares about her. Look how fast he dumped that Martha as soon as he got brooding about June. He’s done fuckall for anybody except himself and that alone makes me dislike him. He’s no better than Fred in that way for me. But where Fred can occasionally be an interesting villain, cos Fiennes is nasty good, I find the actor who plays Nick just… not engaging. And he’s not SUPPOSED to be a villain! He’s meant to be a good guy! It’s crazy. He’s not compelling, he’s not interesting. He’s bland. He’s not even good looking, lol. I was watching with a friend once and mention I thought Fred was way better looking than Nick and she just stared at me and said, “You shouldn’t say that. But me too.” So, count me in the camp that just does not get the appeal of the character OR the actor.

I don’t hate Nick generally. I am just totally indifferent to his existence. If he left the show tomorrow, I’d shrug and probably be a little glad I don’t have to see that bland moping anymore. If he stays, oh well. Shrug. And I just don’t want his and June’s star-crossed romance shoved down my throat. It’s so… I dunno. I’m not opposed to June finding solace and hope but making it some beautiful forbidden romance, I’m not buying it. Like you said, it’s all well and good in Gilead–but it doesn’t strike me as something that can be sustainable outside it. To borrow from you last time: It’s the Handmaid’s Tale, not The Guardian + the Handmaid’s Tale.

Okay, enough about that pipsqueak. I don’t even like talking about him, tbh. He’s not worth it when there’s so much else going on.

ITA about Luke/June too. I feel like the level of disconnection and trauma that they’ve sustained, especially June, they can try to reconnect but it’s pretty difficult and I think especially with June having a sexual/romantic relationship with Nick pulls that really tight. It’s just two different planets they live on now. I don’t doubt that she still loves Luke, but actually reforming the relationship they previously had seems like an impossible task considering everything both of them have been through. It’s sad, but … sadly true for many people. Relationships can fall apart for far less.

And on the same page about Emily/Sylvia too. She is just soooooo fucking broken, and hopeless, that if they have them just rekindle with no issues, it’ll be bad writing. (I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.

Back to Lydia: Exactly! There’s a character we know very little about and who is a horrible person, yet the performance by Dowd makes almost everyone go, “TELL ME MORE!” With Nick, it’s the opposite for me. I’m just like, “Please, less of this.”

[ecotone99]

[HR] The Peaches

Gerald pulled his Geo Tracker up to the house fifteen minutes early to his appointment with Mrs. O'Brien. He hated to be late. His baseball coach in high school preached the same motto to his team during his four years at the school; "To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be dead". Gerald liked that axiom.

He pulled the dusty sun visor down and slid the mirror open to give himself a final glance before going to the door. His blue scrub top had a small dirt smudge on the shoulder, probably from the seat belt. The car had more rust than metal, the interior upholstery was falling apart, and the transmission slipped more often than not, but the old Neon had done well the last two years. Just one job left. After that, Gerald could by whatever car he wanted. He just had to make sure to make this one count. Gerald's gaze then drifted up to his slim, oblong face. He forgot to shave this morning and his dark stubble peppered his pale skin. His eyes gave away his late nights, with dark bags hanging like loose teeth flanking his long crooked nose. Gerald drew back his lips like a dog snarling to expose his pearly white teeth. He held this look in the mirror for some time before deciding it would be best to tone down the smile a few degrees. Yes, that's it. The perfect used car dealer's smile. Mrs. O'Brien would either like him or she wouldn't, but it would not matter for long anyway. People in his line of business tended to die often. Gerald opened his door with a loud creak and climbed out to take a good look at Mrs. O'Brien's humble abode. His car had some trouble climbing the mountain roads leading out of Maggie Valley to Mrs. O'Brien's cabin. Her log home sat at the very precipice of the mountaintop community, overlooking all the other homes sitting on the hillside and the valley town of Waynesville below. From this vantage point, Gerald could see Shady Lane Trailer Park, the place he called home. He laughed. Not only was his car out of place on the slopes, he was as well. The air was still chilly this morning, his breath coming out in little white puffs. The closest cabin from Mrs. O'Brien sat two hundred yards below, and being this late in the season Gerald doubted anyone else would be living in the hillside community. Out-of-towners and old rich fucks are the only ones that could afford these homes sitting like castles overlooking the peasants. It made for a quiet morning atop the mountain, though. Gerald liked quiet. Gerald stepped up onto the wrap around deck, his footsteps amplified by the mountain acoustics making each step sounding like a giant monster making it's way down the slope. He liked that, it was appropriate. He rounded the corner and stopped at the heavy oak door. Gerald gave two hard knocks on the door. Nothing. He knocked harder this time. Gerald thought he heard something stir inside but once again, silence. Christ, he thought, don't tell me the bitch died already. This time Gerald did hear something, faint, but definitely there. Then again, louder this time, with more sense of urgency, as if she were afraid that she might not make it to the door in time. "Come in! Yes, please, come right in, dear!" Good, Gerald thought, with his teeth bared in malicious smile, Too feeble to make it to the door. This should make things rather easy. He hid the smile and replaced it with what he considered a genuine look of concern and care then creaked open the door a few inches. Unlocked. She's the trusting type, too. Gerald poked his head into the house, "Mrs. O'Brien?" "Yes, yes, dear. Please, come in," she responded before breaking into a coughing fit. Gerald slipped into the home and closed the door gently behind him as he placed his bag on the hardwood floor. His eyes were immediately drawn to the wall of windows that overlooked the valley below, still barely visible through the morning fog. Stuffed animals heads hung on every wall, each with it's dead eyes staring at him. He liked that. The great room consisted of living space, dining area, and kitchen. A staircase climbed up to a loft that ran the length of the great room to a walled off second story room which Gerald guessed would be the master bedroom. Still no sign of Mrs. O'Brien. "Hello?" he called out, his voice amplified in the great space. Shuffling came from the hall just passed the kitchen area. "Yes, hello? Is that you, Gerald?" A walker with tennis balls on both beet appeared from around the corner of the hallway followed by the woman that appeared in the file Gerald read before making his trip up the mountain. "Yes, ma'am. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. O'Brien," he lied. Mrs. O'Brien flashed him a smile that revealed more gums than teeth. "So you're here to kill me, right?" Gerald's fake smile faltered and a genuine look of surprise took its place. "Excuse me, ma'am?" he asked. Mrs. O'Brien's nearly toothless smile grew wider and she let out a tremendous laugh that surprised Gerald. She let go of her walker briefly to clap her hands together softly before she lost her balance and returned both hands to the safety of the handles. "Oh, goodness," she said, still chuckling, "You should have seen your face, kiddo. Did the good people at Horizon Home Health not warn you of my morbid sense of humor? I figured my last helper, Jackie, would have given you the scoop on ol' Mrs. O'Brien." Gerald relaxed a little and his faux smile and look of care returned to his face. "I'm afraid not, Mrs. O'Brien. I just didn't want you to think I was some kind of monster." Not yet, at least. We'll save that for later. "Actually, Jackie hasn't been into work the past few days. That's why they sent me today." Mrs. O'Brien's smile turned sour and her eyes had a glimmer of tears. "Oh, goodness. When the scheduling folks called me I just assumed she finally got her vacation she asked for. Is she okay?" "Well, she did put in for the vacation but our boss never signed off on it," Gerald replied, "I'm sure we'll her from her any time now, we have a pretty relaxed atmosphere at Horizon. My boss was just happy that I was able to come in her place." Gerald picked up his bag and motioned with it to the table, Mrs. O'Brien nodded and Gerald made his way over to set up his gear. "If I hear anything from her, you'll be the first to know." Mrs. O'Brien looked assured. "Well I appreciate that. Everyone there seems to be so close, like a family. That's why I like when you pay me your visits." "We are fairly tight-knit," Gerald lied. In reality, Gerald didn't give two shits about Jackie or her whereabouts. She was an airheaded cunt who was frequently late. To be late is to be dead. Jackie's recent absence did have its benefits, though. One last job, Gerald thought. "Well, honey," Mrs. O'Brien started, "If you're going to be with me for any amount of time we better get one thing straight, cut the "ma'am" and "Mrs. O'Brien" bullshit, please? I'm Cheryl to to my friends, and with such a handsome face as yours, I'm hoping I can call you a friend. Gerald gave a short, forced laugh. "Very well, Cheryl, I think I can manage that. Now, what can we do for you today?" Cheryl O'Brien fought with her walker, placing it in an angle to the kitchen table before plopping her fat body into the chair. Her nightie slipped shortly, flashing her hairy snatch at Gerald. He gave a slight grimace, she gave no notice. "Could you get me my afternoon snack, dear? I know that's a bit below your usual duties, but I am quite hungry. I usually go for peaches at this time of day. I keep them in the pantry, first door on your right down the hallway." Gerald gave a polite smile. "I would be happy to, Cheryl." She gave him a weak smile before breaking into another coughing fit. Gerald turned into the hall and opened the pantry door. His hand fumbled for the switch on the wall next to the door. He found it. A fluorescent light flickered alive with a hum. Gerald stood in the doorway, confused by what he saw. The pantry had three shelves, each running the length of the eight-foot long walls and coming together at the back on a five-foot wall. A single fluorescent light fixture with two bare-tube bulbs illuminated the room. It was very plain as far as pantries go; the contents, however, were the confusing aspect of the space. Peaches; well over three hundred cans of peaches lined each shelf. The shelves were stacked four high on each shelf, not a single can out of place. A voice broke Gerald out of his confusion. "Diced or sliced, dear, I don't mind!" Cheryl called from the dining room. "I'll see what I can come up with," Gerald called back playfully. Gerald walked back into the great room area where Cheryl waited for him. Her nightie slipped again in his absence, this time exposing a sad, sagging breast. Gerald politely shielded his vision. "Oh, goodness," Cheryl started, pulling the gown up to her chin, "I'm so sorry. Jackie usually isn't as punctual as you were today; I'm usually very-well put together." "No harm," Gerald replied, faking a forgiving smile. He set the can of peaches on the table. "Now, where can I find a bowl or-" "No matter," Cheryl cut in, "This will do just fine." Before Gerald could offer once more, Cheryl reached across the table and pulled the tab on the can of peaches. She turned the can on end and slurped the peaches straight from the can. Most made their way into Cheryl's mouth where she chewed them with an open mouth, while others down on or under her nightie. Gerald watched hiding a look of disgust as Cheryl overturned the orange mass in her mouth, thrashing every peach against the few teeth she still had in her repulsive mouth. She continued gobbling until she slurped the last diced peach from the can and placed the can on the surface of table, now littered with the half-chewed bits that escaped her repugnant hole. "You'll have to excuse me, dear, "she said licking her lips, "I was hungrier than I thought." She belched. Gerald gave her a half-assed smile this time. "No matter. I needed to have a record of food intake today, looks like we can cross that off the list." Cheryl smiled at him, masses of peach clung to her few teeth and the water from the can gleamed on her chin, neck, and cleavage. This may be the easiest one I've done, Gerald thought. "It also has a shower on your list for the day, Cheryl. Would you like to take care of that now?" Gerald asked, trying to hide his sarcasm. "That would be lovely, dear. The bathroom is the second door on the right. Go ahead and run the water for me, please? The water heater has an element that's been acting up and the water takes forever to heat up." Perfect, Gerald thought, The dumb bitch is giving me an opportunity to scope out the place. "Of course, Mrs.- ...I mean Cheryl." Used-car salesman smile. Cheryl's smile widened before she broke into another coughing fit. "Please excuse me," she said after regaining control of her breathing, "I'm still getting used to the air up here."

Gerald turned the corner into the hall. "Beautiful place you have up here, Cheryl. I love the location." For once, that was the truth. It would be days before anyone would be up here to check on the broad, plenty of time to get what money or valuables he needed.

"Isn't it beautiful? Jackie said the same thing the first time she came here. She was delightful."

"Yeah, we are all hoping she comes back after the weekend," Gerald called back. He looked back on habit to see if she made it into the hallway yet. With that walker and cough, she will be like a cow with a bell. He stole a glance into an open doorway, her bedroom by the looks with a hospital bed, daily medication containers, and pill bottles that littered her bedside table.

"I certainly hope so," she called back, still struggling to get to her feet in the dining room, "When I had her for lunch on Tuesday she left her purse here. I wouldn't think she could get too far without it!"

"Odd," Gerald called back, uninterested. He found what he needed. Tucked under an old rocking chair in the corner of her bedroom was a Sentry Safe lock box. The key was hanging from the lid. "Are doing alright in there, Cheryl?", he called back to her.

"Yes, dear, these legs just aren't what they used to be."

Gerald, satisfied with what he had found, made his way into bathroom where he would spring his trap on the old bitch. He flicked on the lights, felt through the curtain of the shower and turned the water on full blast. He slid behind the door and wrapped an end of a towel in each hand, a crude but effective garrote. "Ready whenever you are, Cheryl," he shouted into the hall.

Gerald smiled at his own wit. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. He heard splashing water and his smile faded. The water from the shower was flowing over the tub walls, forming small rivers on the floor that led to his feet. He hadn't bothered to open the shower curtain, the water effects were just for show to lure the old cunt in. Gerald looked into the bathroom mirror to get a look of what was obstructing the drain and he dropped the towel.

He felt his feet splashing in the water that now covered the entire bathroom floor as he staggered to the shower curtain. He blinked slowly, grabbed curtain, and shoved it aside.

Gerald killed before. He travelled often and travelled far. He always had a different name and background when he applied for these jobs, he was good a forging, faking, and acting. His kills were clean, usually strangulation. Sometimes he used insulin if the client required it for controlling diabetes.

This was not clean.

He covered his mouth and fought the urge to vomit or scream.

Jackie's blonde hair was red with the bloody water that surrounded her. Her face, what was left of it, secreted pus from the sockets that once contained eyes. Her nose was bitten off and floating by her shoulder. Each breast was a gory stump and her intestine hung out like tentacles for the lower half of her body was gone.

"Yes," a mangled voiced said from behind him, "When I had her for lunch Tuesday she forgot her purse."

Something whizzed by Gerald's head and a purse splashed into Jackie's watery grave, spraying Gerald with carnage. He did not dare turn around, his feet were rooted the linoleum floor.

The mangled, distorted voice continued, like a some alien child trying to emulate the English language; "I've killed before. I travel often and I travel far, always with a different name and background. Turn and face me, you may recognize my kind."

Gerald felt a warm fluid spread across the front of his pants. Something slithered around his feet be he did not look; he locked his eyes shut and began a pathetic cry. "You'll have to excuse me," the voice snarled, "These legs aren't what they used to be," the creature let out a tremendous cough, "And I'm not quite used to the air up here."

The being was close now. Gerald could feel its heat on his back.

"Face me, Human. Does mies jeschet boene doesef douvema enitemaus. What do you call me, Human?"

Gerald felt himself rotating and forced his eyes open.

He looked into the mouth of madness and saw the black maw of the universe stretch and grow exponentially without end or beginning.

Then, he knew nothing.

submitted by /u/kirkmaneuver [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2VCpp7A