#as long as I've got someone to rant at work
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irregularcollapse · 2 days ago
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Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about how you feel about the mota fandom and what happened to you :/ I meant to send a message earlier but life got in the way. I hope you're feeling better now, and I can only tell you that your fics and writing are some of my favorite in the fandom. Just by reading your stories, I can tell the care that was put into choosing each word to best convey the story and the characters' feelings, and it is really somethinf I admire :) I hope I can be as good a writer as you someday ❤️ And for the mota fandom, I totally get what you and that anon said! If you'll allow me a bit of a rant, to me, the mota fandom is full of well-intentioned people but I found that one of its problems is that, as much as there is enthusiasm, it is going in circles. Many have said it and I've noticed it too, but some have a tendency to jump on other people's ideas without giving credit or even asking if it's okay to expand, and on more than one occasion I found one of my ideas in someone else's inbox just a week after I'd posted it which threw me off posting any kinds of hc or random ideas, I only post full fics now because I'm scared that people will see an idea/au that they like on my blog and decide to expand on it without my consent or even crediting me for the original idea :/ To me that sucks because what I love about creating is the interactions with people, but because of the seldom posting except for full fics I don't get much 😂 And I know I could post snippet or hc, but the overenthusiasm bordering on no fandom manners that I've noticed stops me from doing that. Also, as a writer, it is quite discouraging to see people constantly reccing the same 5/6 fics/authors. Don't get me wrong, those are GREAT fics and authors, but babes, there are over 1,000 works in the clegan tag on ao3, why are we constantly reccing the same fics as in summer 2024. It feels like people only read the fics with the highest hits count, and from an outsider's pov, you'd think there are only 10 writers in the mota fandom 😭 I don't if it's bc the mota fandom is new so there are a lots of people from tiktok/that weren't on tumblr/in fandom before but it truly feels like fandom manners are getting lost, despite the plethora of incredible creators in the mota fandom. So there's this opposition between the enthusiasm over new ideas that seems to die down as soon as a story is posted, except if if it's one of the big fics from the summer. Imo the actual recognition of fics doesn't follow the enthusiasm of ideas and hcs, which is a bit of a shame I think, and to be quite honest, it made me lose my motivation to write for mota bc it just feels like I'll post a fic, it'll get traction for maybe a day or two, and then it'll be forgotten somewhere when people sort ao3 by number of hits or kudos
Anyway that was quite long I'm sorry, you don't have to answer this at all, I just needed to get this off my chest, but I really hope you know that even if it may not feel that way, you are an amazing writer, who clearly loves your stories, the characters and the words you use, and that is translated to the ao3 page <3 You truly are one of the most talented fic writers this fandom has, and I'd support you and your stories in whatever fandom you may be in ❤️
I assure you, anon, that you're not the only person to feel this way! I've had quite a few private conversations with friends and mutuals about really similar experiences and observations, and how disheartened and uncomfortable it's making us feel.
I guess people don't say anything because they don't want to be seen as sowing discord or being mean. I know that there are going to be people who might see this and interpret it as me "fuelling fandom discourse" or "fandom wanking" or "being a cunt" but actually I'm just talking about how we treat creators in online spaces, and the way that people en masse have apparently forgotten that creators in fandoms are people.
I had another anon tell me that someone laid claim to one of their ideas in the tags of their headcanon post, and I don't think you're the only person whose idea has been stolen and passed to another writer. I'm really sorry that's happened to you, and you're so right to not feel like posting anything because of it! This is truly the kind of stuff that makes people not want to participate or put themselves out there. Sometimes it's even writers doing the stealing, blatantly and without credit. It makes me think that a lot of people haven't shared creative spaces before and don't know how to be polite.
I also 100% agree about the fic rec thing. It's really disheartening to see the same fics passed around over and over again, not only from a writer perspective but a reader perspective. Something that seems to have emerged in fandom spaces over the years is deifying certain authors of popular fics - fic authors being treated like celebrities, the concept of a "must-read fic", even people only reading fics and authors that are already seen as popular/successful. I get that some people don't want to spend time scraping ao3 for niche fics, that's super understandable, but that's also why it would be nice to see a bit more adventure and variety in fic rec lists!
There is a low-key competitive feeling which a few people have mentioned to me - the feeling that there are people who want to "win" fandom or be the most popular/most reccd/most recognised writer, or whatever it may be. I just feel like anything that makes people feel like they're better than others is... come si dice... not good. I think it's a shitty way to treat people you're sharing a creative space with, to view them as competition and commodity.
Writing for consumption or writing for audience approval isn't something I've ever done, but I feel like it's cropping up more and more in fandom spaces too - not just MOTA, either. That's sort of a different discussion, but I do feel it's related to the copying/stealing in a way as well.
Now I also have to apologise for this getting too long! I'm glad you got it off your chest, and please feel free to come off anon at any time, because you've got an ally in me (and others too, I assure you). I think that everything you've said here merits consideration from everyone, at the very very least! It's in the interest of pursuing a more inclusive, supportive fandom space.
Thanks heaps as well for saying nice stuff about my writing! I only ever want to tell stories, and to give people something to enjoy that has clearly been created with care and consideration. I write to express things I want to express, and so it means a lot to me when other people see what I'm trying to say and pick up what I'm putting down. Truly madly deeply, my most boundless thanks!!! ♥️♥️♥️
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petitepatateuwu · 2 days ago
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Have some rants about my fav Sonic ships
Trust me when I say this is not what I intended to do for Valentine's day, but my access to the proper materials for my next big project is currently fairly limited, so instead have this (I didn't think I had so much to say I got a bit carried away 👉👈). This is heavy with aro/ace/aroace discourse because as an aroace myself I cannot help it, and huh, reminder that this is just for fun and everyone's opinions are accepted around here as long as it's respectful :3
Espilver is so wholesome I am willing to temporaly remove the aromantic label I put on both these guys. And when an aroace person is ready to drop this label for a ship you know it has to be good. (They're still both asexual idc tho)
I am prone to shipping Sonic with pretty much everyone (elligible for that at least) while thinking he's the biggest aroace mood ever (but I know I am not alone on that one)
Since I've started posting Sonic fanart, there has not been a SINGLE sonadow ship art, but I still really love this ship. Like it's mostly what got me into Sonic in the first place but I don't want to draw it (honestly I think my mind is just drawn to less popular things, I mean sonadow is already everywhere on my dashboard)
Because (except for espilver) my top ships are sonjet and surgamy, I'm basically shipping your two main hedgehogs who are sometimes implied to have feelings for eachother in a gay relationship with a green person with spiky hair and an attitude, and I thought it was funny because it was NOT on purpose xD
Speaking of sonjet I have like three different timelines existing in my mind with this, because I love the "they never dated but they are definitely exes now"/"they tried smt some time ago it didn't work out" narrative, but also the one where Sonic can be the perfect boyfriend and respond to Jet's needs and issues I imagined for him, and also the one where Jet is a total girlfailure of a man who tries to rizz up someone who has zero clue.
I have thought over and over about Blaze ships and my mind just blocks it. At first I thought it was just Silvaze because I was overprotective of my Silver's orientation (when I first saw it I thought "yeah he's aroace", and I'm not a fan of shipping a guy and a girl just because they interact with eachother and are close). But it's everything. Sonaze? I mean she blushed around him on several occasions, so what? I feel like she's just not used to social interaction. Blazamy? I see the fluff, I see the awesome lesbian couple (and I'm an Utena fan, I gotta love the pink/purple yuri), but it doesn't light up anything in me. Are they any other Blaze ships? Idk, but I can't see her with anyone romantically. Never has a character given me so much aroace vibes that the very forces of nature are preventing me to ship her.
Vectilla activates my brain chemistry like crazy. TF you mean the only "sega-approved" ship is between two grown ass people who are not even part of the main character group? And one is a single mother too? Like it's very simple but it's already a norm breaker in my opinion. Though usually a bunch of male characters have their own personally-crafted love interest, they fall in love for no reason and the love is immediately reciprocal because of course it is (*cough* looking at you ninjago). I think it also work because both Vector and Vanilla have their own things going on, and the romance is just a nice plus. And since Team Chaotix is already the peak of Sonic found family, it's also cool to think about the shenanigans with the children (aka Espio, Cream and Charmy). I am a strong Vectilla shipper and I will make you care about them >:)
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myheadgoesaround · 2 years ago
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yay! I got my co worker to watch a "Thousand Autumns" too!
*evil cackle, Yan Wushi style
I have dragged my colleague to the same pit of despair of not having a season 2 of this masterpiece. Now we will wallow in sorrow together. lol.
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navramanan · 1 year ago
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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cjlouwho · 6 months ago
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The Fight
Tommy calmed himself before he walked into the station. Closed his eyes and did the breathing technique he'd learned in therapy years ago.
They needed to talk about this. He couldn't handle it if something happened during Buck's shift and the last words they had spoken to each other were in anger.
He spotted Buck fairly quickly. He was in the middle of a workout, sitting on a bench and lifting weights. Although it looked like he was mostly talking to Eddie.
Eddie, who was standing in front of him, nodding his head as Buck spoke.
Eddie eyed Tommy first. “Buck,” he said in the middle of Buck's rant.
“-and I- I don't think that's fair, Eddie. It's not fair of him to- to treat me like I'm a child-”
“Buck,” Eddie repeated, louder this time.
Buck groaned. “What?”
Eddie pointed behind him. “Tommy.”
Buck froze, then slowly turned to see Tommy standing behind him, staring at him. After a brief glance, Buck cast his eyes downward.
“Hey, man,” Eddie greeted. Buck rolled his eyes.
“Hey, Eddie,” Tommy replied. “Mind if I talk to Evan for a second?”
“Nope. I'll be upstairs.”
Tommy watched as Eddie headed upstairs, waiting until he was out of earshot to turn back to Buck. “What are you doing here, Evan?” he asked.
Buck placed the weights he had resting on his thighs down on the ground. “Working.”
“Your shift doesn't even start for another twelve hours.”
Buck got up and began placing weight plates on the barbell. “I asked Bobby if I could do a twenty-four instead. He said yes.”
“You literally told me two days ago that they weren't allowing overtime right now.”
“Did you really come all the way here to keep fighting with me?”
“First of all, I'm not the one who started the fight,” Tommy said, stepping closer, “and I'm not the one who can't look their boyfriend in the eyes.”
Buck stopped messing with the barbell and glared up at Tommy. His eyes were red, although Tommy couldn't tell if it was from crying or rage. “Better?” he asked bitingly.
“Yeah, actually, it is. It's a great improvement from you walking out on me this morning.”
Buck crossed his arms defensively. “There wasn't anything left to say.”
“I strongly disagree. We've both talked about this before, Evan. How you don't like the feeling of people walking out on you. How it scares you, makes you worry. Did you forget I told you the same thing? How it reminds me of what my dad did to my mom and me over and over again?”
Tommy swore he could see a twinge of guilt flash through Buck's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with more anger.
He moved closer to Tommy. “I wasn't going to sit at your place and be berated for however long you decided to yell at me-”
“I was not yelling.”
“-for doing my job.”
Now it was Tommy's turn to fill with a new wave of rage. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it back, pursing his lips as he thought over his words. “You were not doing your job, Evan,” Tommy spoke slowly, carefully. “You made a bad decision that could have gotten you killed.”
Buck scoffed. “Danger is part of the job, Tommy. I thought you of all people would understand that.”
Tommy felt like pulling his hair out. They'd had this whole argument a few hours earlier. No matter what he said, he couldn't seem to get through to Buck. “You ran into a burning building without your gear, Evan! There were other firefighters there, but you just ran in! You could have died!”
“But I didn't! God, Tommy, you're acting like I'm a baby! I've been doing this for years; I know what I'm capable of!”
Tommy brought a hand to his forehead, pressing against his temple. This was pointless. “I don't even know why I came here,” he said with a shrug. He gave Buck one last glance before turning to leave.
“Still don't know why you're angry at me for saving someone's life!” Buck called out to him as he headed for the door.
The words made Tommy turn on his heels. “You really don't know why I'm angry with you?!” he asked. The question came out harsher than he intended.
Buck stood his ground. “No, I don't!”
“Unbelievable!” Tommy let out a humorless laugh. “Because I love you, Evan!” he exclaimed. “I love you so damn much! So, yeah, it makes me a little angry when I see that you aren't in this as much as I am. That you don't love yourself enough to care if you come back home!”
Buck felt like his heart was beating out of his chest. It took him a second to find his voice again. “You... You love me?”
“Of course I do, Evan.” Tommy spoke as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Have for quite a while now.”
Buck moved closer to him. “You don't think I- I'm in it as much as you?”
Tommy let out a deep breath. “I didn't mean it like that,” he said, his voice calmer now. “I just meant... I always try my damndest to make it back to you, every shift. Every call I go on, you're in the front of my mind. Be safe for Evan, stay focused for Evan, make it home because Evan will be there waiting. And I don't expect you to love me back or anything like that, but it would be nice to know that you try to make it home to me too.”
“I do,” Buck replied earnestly. “I do try, Tommy. I- I, when I was on that call, I ran back in because of you.”
Any anger left in Tommy's body was replaced with confusion. “What?”
“The guy I went in for, his- his boyfriend was yelling for him. He was panicked, like he- he would go insane if something had happened to him. All I could think about was you. How I'd go crazy if you were in a burning building and I- I couldn't get to you. I couldn't think of doing this life without you, Tommy. So, I ran in. And, I mean, you can ask Bobby, I'm not careless like that anymore, not like I used to be. And I do love you, Tommy. I love you so much it scares me. I promise I'm in this with yo-”
Before Buck could even process it, Tommy had cleared the space between them. He brought his hands to Buck's face pulled him in for a kiss.
Buck couldn't help the surprised moan that escaped him as Tommy pressed himself even closer. Buck grabbed onto Tommy's shirt, tugging on it like he was desperate for more.
It wasn't until tongues got involved that there was the sound of a throat being cleared behind them.
They stopped, both breathing heavily, then turned back to see the rest of the team watching them from upstairs.
“I knew you two lovebirds would work it out," Eddie said with a smirk on his face.
Chimney sniffed, earning him looks from the others. “I'm a sucker for romance,” he explained.
“I tried to get them to back off,” Hen defended. “I mean, not very hard, but I did try.”
Bobby simply smiled down at them. “Buck, your shift doesn't start until tonight. Go home.”
And well, they weren't gonna argue with that.
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evasive-anon · 1 year ago
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Jason Attacking Tim at Titans Tower
Fanon vs Canon
We've all seen the versions in fanfiction but I'm not so sure everyone's seen the original so if you're one of those batfam fans who doesn't want to read the comics (regardless of reasons) but you are curious about how it actually went this is for you.
What I'm addressing:
What does Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?
Did Jason drug all the other Titans?
Did Jason really wear a Robin costume?
Did Jason slit Tim's throat or call him replacement?
Did Jason actually break Tim's bo staff?
Was Tim crying or scared?
Did Jason write a message on the wall in Tim's blood?
Did Jason's eyes glow green?/Did he follow pit rage mechanics?
Panels and details below. This is a LONG one.
What did Jason actually say to Tim during the attack?
Dialogue in fanfiction during the Titans Tower attack varies based on what kind of fic you're reading but usually its either 'time to clip Replacement's wings' if its staying a beatdown whump 'or oh no precious lil bby why is no one watching you' if its an accidental child acquisition. Not judging either option, but this ain't about them its about the real shit.
Look at these opening lines:
Hey, Tim. I was here first.You're the Red Hood. You've been cleaning up Gotham the easy way. Easy? What do you know about easy, Tim? You had a father that looked after you. You went to a private school, right? You slept in a bed. I slept on the streets, I lived in the alleyways in Gotham. Trying to survive. Until Bruce took me in. I trained as hard as I could. I did whatever he asked. . . at least at first. But it didn't matter. They said I wasn't tough enough to be robin. But today, they say you are. Show me, Tim. Show me what you have that I didn't.
Jason really puts himself out there in all of his dialogue in this encounter, the struggle of having to fight for anything and everything he got in life, even the things that came to everyone else for free, and then being told he wasn't even good enough for the things he fought for.
There's a trope in fanfics that if Jason knew Tim stalked Batman and forced his way into being Robin that it would change how Jason felt about the situation but that's even addressed in this comic:
You were a kid, worried about how Batman was spiraling down into darkness. You spent weeks tracking the dark knight. Solving a mystery no one else could. You discovered who he was behind that mask. Millionaire Bruce Wayne. You were so pleased with yourself, I'm sure that you forgot who you were really dealing with. I know Bruce Wayne. And let me tell you, Tim if someone was trying to find out who Batman really was. If someone was stalking him for weeks. He'd know about it. You can't be that good. I am. He let you find him. And I bet he said the same thing to you as he did to me, didn't he? That you had a talent to make a difference in Gotham. That he needed someone he could trust in war on crime. That you were one of a kind. The light to his darkness. Robin, the Boy Wonder.
Tim saying 'I am' is really such a moment that doesn't come through in text because he is right that he really did do that but I also completely understand why Jason wouldn't believe it.
TBH my favorite part is how done Tim honestly sounds with Jason thoughout all his trauma dumping. Like imagine a grown man who used to work the same part time job as you breaking into your house, dressing up in your work uniform, ranting about how much the job ruined his life while he beats your ass??? God, and he probably had to write a fucking report about it after. RIP Timmy.
What do you want? Do you want to be Robin again? Is that it? You... want to take it away from me? Why in the hell would I ever want that? Don't you get it? When I died no one cared! No one remembered me. Are you completely insane? No one could forget you. I've spent my entire career wearing this mask under your shadow. I had to convince Batman to let me try this. All because he'll never stop blaming himself for what happened to you. You ask me, that's the only reason he hasn't taken you down. He's holding back. But me? No freakin' way. That's the Robin I wanted to see. Still. You do realize the whole idea of training a teenager to fight against something he'll never eradicate is a mistake. It didn't even surprise anyone when I died. When I failed. I failed-- but I'm still beating you. Do you think you're that good now?! Do you really, Tim? Yes.
Tim bashing Jason across the face as he says 'no freakin' way'? *chefs kiss*
Jason drugging the other Titans to knock them out?
Little bit true, Kory was actually just already away from the tower and BB and Cyborg were about to bounce because of the drama going on with Donna's return but Jason like super tazes them and then drugs Raven who he thought already went through enough shit without him knocking her out violently.
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Note: Jason says in the text here that he never rolled with Cyborg or BB but like he actually did in some comics so?? The continuity is lie I guess idk.
Did he show up in Red Hood gear or a Robin costume?
Both tbh but he spent most of the time in the Robin costume but bro actually made a stripper rip away version of his Red Hood gear so he could dramatically reveal the Robin costume underneath. I can't believe no one ever includes that in their fics its so fucking funny.
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Does he call Tim 'replacement' or slit his throat?
No, this came from a Batman comic with Hush not Teen Titans. That incident takes place in a graveyard not Titans Tower and he calls Tim pretender not replacement.
Does Jason break Tim's staff?
Tragically, no. The bo staff snap would have been iconic. Instead he just takes Tim's staff and beats Tim up with it and breaks stuff. BUT!! He uses it to bust a statue in the TITANS MEMORIAL ROOM which is a place in Titans Tower just for having statues of dead previous titans and Jason is rightfully pissed he didn't get one. Like Tim is correct in saying no one forgot him still but like I would be hurt too if all my friends made cool statues of friends that died and then just left my zombie ass out, like wtf.
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Note: I am seriously losing my shit that I have never seen someone bring up the memorial room in a fanfic. That is so much angst material. 😭
Tim crying/ being scared?
Hell no. He's a fucking Robin you know he's being a sassy boy the whole time, even towards the end when he's about done he's still saying he's her and I love Tim for that.
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Note: There are a few different times where Tim does a flippy Robin move and then Jason just fucking copies it like flexing that he can do it too, and its just so petty and stupid he's trying so hard to be better than an actual child. 💀I get why in the context of the situation but its still so ridiculous.
Message on the wall in Tim's blood?
TBH I really don't know for sure on this one?? Like its implied that he did but Tim isn't bleeding all that much throughout this beatdown and like we don't see Jason do it just the Titans reacting to seeing it after. It could be Tim's blood, it could be red paint, and it could even be that Jason packed an actual bucket of blood to bring with him to write a message with after he finished. TBH the world is your oyster on this one.
Note: If anyone can find another comic where this event was brought up where they actually clarify it was Tim's blood hmu and I'll update this but I couldn't find any.
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Pit rage/ glowing green eyes?
Fanon only at this point in the comics. Jason is seems to be himself and even thinks Tim and his friends are pretty cool at the end, and he's just like reflecting on if he had good friends if he would have turned out better as he leaves.
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strangersteddierthings · 1 year ago
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"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.
Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"
"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.
"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."
"I know you do. It's disgusting."
"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"
"You don't have to convince me you love him."
"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.
Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.
"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."
She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"
He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"
"Heteronormativity."
"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"
"Yes. Sorry."
He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"
Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"
Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"
She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."
"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."
"What does Eddie do to try?"
"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.
"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."
"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"
Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."
"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.
Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.
"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.
"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."
"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."
Steve nods.
"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."
He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"
"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."
Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.
"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."
"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."
Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."
"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"
"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems
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winterzsurprise · 5 months ago
Text
Change My Mind [2]
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Pairing: BTS x reader
SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.
Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.
Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor
Words: 8.6k
I posted this a day later than the one on ao3 because I forgor :''DD
Seeing the support and comments from both website got me off my ass to fix the storyline, even made a lot of changes on the chapters I've had preserved.
this chapter got rewritten a LOT, and was longer than it initially was so I hope y'all don't mind long chapters.
<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>
__________
There's been times where your heart has truly fluttered for a man throughout your lifetime. Too many times has it been because some of your bosses (read: Jimin) flirted with you but you have never felt anything remotely giddy for anyone else outside the group.
Except for the man now sitting in front of you, flashing you a dimpled smile after handing out his card with an ease you only see in your friends and male leads in dramas. An action more attractive than any kabaedon or flexed muscles.
He's attractive but you don't like like him.
Yoo Guwon came to you as a bashful giant, rubbing the back of his head whenever he’s flustered and a constant sheepish smile featuring his deep set of dimples indented on both cheeks. He’s charming and articulate with his words just like a lawyer would be. Everything about him reminds you of another gentle and clumsy giant probably hunched over his music equipment back in the BigHit building.
It’s only been a few hours but you surprisingly covered most of the basic grounds of first meeting conversations during the short time you drove around Han River in a two seated bicycle. From the meager questions of ‘what dreams do you have?’ to the more complex and deeper ‘If the world falls into ruin, will you burn my body when I die?’. 
Too graphic for a first date but you wanted to test the waters and you concluded that he’s too perfect.
He knows the right words to say, the proper way to act and it makes you suspicious. Your mother has never recommended you to a good guy before, having a track record of ten shitty suitors who all ran their mouths about their mediocre achievements, and dared to ask you about your purity before ranting about how dirty you are for not saving yourself for your husband the moment they find out you're not a virgin anymore. Then all of a sudden, she led you to good boy Guwon.
And it makes your skin crawl.
What did that woman eat? Has your father fed her something bad this time? What is she planning? It’s scary how she has finally advocated for an actual nice guy.
After taking you to a museum you're sure Namjoon has visited once, he drove you both to the Han River to rent a double seated bike to drive around with before ending the night with a nice reservation somewhere in the Seocho district.
The place is as sophisticated as fine dining areas usually are. With an intimate lighting, marbled tabletops matched with soft cushioned seats and high ceilings to make space for modern glass chandeliers, the restaurant was no doubt expensive, the type you have to reserve a spot two months prior to be able to experience its greatness. The point was driven home when you saw the amount of zeros it cost for one can of soda. 
You asked him how he managed to get a table and he went down the rabbit hole of the many advantages he got from successful cases, ranging from a free monthly subscription to fruit baskets to a free week-long voucher to a five star hotel somewhere in Busan. 
Going back to the butterflies, while not as wild as it got when Hoseok possessively wrapped an arm thrown around your waist to pretend as your boyfriend to ward off a persistent suitor, they're there, albeit subtle.
Very subtle.
Maybe it's in the way he didn't think twice to hand out his card towards the waiter in the most suave way with the thick golden watch decorating his wrist, sleeves neatly folded up to reveal the thick cords of veins on his forearms with his hair strewn messily and a dimpled smile that made you react like that.
You ignore the voice comparing his uncannily similar traits to someone else.
Meeting Guwon wasn't like how the movies illustrated love at first sights. They talked of fireworks exploding in the background and hearing the sweet chimes of wedding bells upon eye contact but for him, it's just that. A meeting far more formal than you'd like. He has a lot of qualities that check your list of husband material traits yet instead of butterflies, you could only feel an echoing hollowness in your chest as you listen to him list out his future plans. 
It felt like surrendering to the fate the divinities had weaved out for you which is being an untethered forced to love someone you don't even feel any spark with.
He's a nice man who’s offering a comfortable future and you're just a woman who wishes to live a lavish life at home while your husband wastes his years away in the office. You might be a hopeless romantic who wished for soulmates and the like but you're not blind to the opportunity Guwon offers you.
You haven't texted the gc anything during the date other than the selfie you took before you left for the date but there's been constant vibrations in your purse and it's no doubt the guys asking for updates but for a moment you wanted to try to focus on the man before you.
Not that it wasn't hard to try with Guwon anyways.
Whenever the man spoke of his achievements and hobbies with a humble approach, he never forgot to ask you for your opinion or input on the topic. You also noted how he has never cut you off and let you speak whenever you wanted, listening with an eagerness only your friends usually show. He asked relevant questions with a genuine curiosity, eager to know more about you. 
So when he asked if you wanted to go on a second date that night, it came to no surprise for anyone when you accepted it albeit the heaviness in your heart.
It was funny how eagerly you searched for a husband you could bring to your parents' doorsteps but the moment someone with all the qualities you seeked came, it felt disappointing. Boring even.
But you can learn, this man is your ticket to living without working anymore.
It came to no one's surprise that your mother was overjoyed, she wasted no time calling you before you could even change to squeeze the memory of today out of you.
The shrill scream of victory she let out that night was unforgettable because finally, a suitor you actually liked. Your dad even congratulated her off-screen for her matchmaking achievements before telling you to bring Guwon home to meet them.
Logically, you’re aware you've won the love roulette—Guwon has it all, he checked every box on your list, yet it felt like defeat and it tasted foul, bitter on your tongue.
You couldn't tell them that it was you deciding to settle, that would break her heart.
Tapping the end call button felt like the dam breaking and all the water held onto for so long flowed out. You fall lifelessly on your bed with a heavy sigh. Taking a couple evening breaths, you finally opened the group chat with an overwhelming number of unread messages.
[Today, 08:49]
[08:49] Mimi: I'd run my bank dry to take you on dates if you'd dress so pretty like that, noona~
[08:49]Tete: We're really seeing this for free when the poor guy has to pay for it. #livingapriviledgedlife😁👍
[08:49] Hobi: Wow noona🤯
[08:50] Yoongs: 👍
[08:55] Tete: Wait, I don't think those shoes fit you, go back home and change it😁
[08:56] Jinnie: Hey, you're showing too much skin on the first date! Go back and change!
[08:57] Joonie: Ignore these haters noona, I hope you enjoy your day😊
[Today, 21:48]
[21:48] Jinnie: are you home yet? You haven't seen our messages in HOURS.
[21:48] Tete: NOONA DID YOU GET MURDERED?!😱
[21:50] Joonie: Let's be rational guys, don't jump to conclusions. The date might just be going great if she's busy enough to not check her phone😊.
[21:51] Mimi: doing great? don't scare me like that hyung😵‍💫
[21:51] Tete: BUT WHAT IF SHE GOT KIDNAPPED HYUNG????
[21:51] Hobi: please reply soon, we're worried🥲
Jungkook's absence from the conversation didn't come to you as a shock, the kid doesn't even reply to you for a week despite being one of the people who raised him. Nonetheless, you sat up from your bed to record a quick video of you giving them a thumbs up and turning the camera to show your room.
The latter was an assurance to Taehyung that no, you also didn't get kidnapped into someone else's house to be someone's housekeeper, and no, it wasn't a clone either.
The moment your message gets sent, the replies blow up your phone almost instantaneously.
[22:28] Mimi: noona you're alive!
[22:28] Joonie: How did the date go?😊
[22:28] Jinnie: how nice of you to remember to update us PEASANTS.
[22:28] Mimi: How was Guwon?
[22:29] Tete: I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE WENT WITH YOU ANYWAYS
[22:29] You: Shockingly, he's a pretty nice guy. Not too bad on the eyes, and pretty smart. I think you'd get along well with him, joon. He's a lawyer so he covered most of the expenses today😁
[22:29] You: Overall, it was great, we're gonna go on a second one. He's pretty cool.
Instantly, messages from the members, even Jungkook’s to your surprise, flooded your screen.
[22:30] Tete: Noona you've been cursed! We need to bring you to the nearest shaman to break it!!
[22:30] Mimi: don't joke with us noona
[22:30] Mimi: I just got goosebumps!
[22:30] Joonie: Congratulations are in order then? Will we be expecting him around you soon?
[22:31] Yoongs: I need to meet him, need to know if he's good enough
[22:31] Yoongs: men are trash, I need to see him for myself before I decide
[22:32] Yoongs: and you know what they say about lawyers, they LIE. I wouldn't trust him 
[22:32] Jinnie: WE need to meet the man who managed to steal your heart! I want to talk to him😊
[22:32] Mimi: don't use that emoji again, hyung
[22:32] Hobi: SCARY JWANN😱
[22:32] Joonie: Let’s not threaten anyone please.
[22:32] Joonie: But I'm really happy for you 😁.
[22:33] Tete: Those periods really scares me hyung…
[22:33] Tete: Somehow, I don't think you mean it…
[22:33] Joonie: What makes you think that, tae?😁.
[22:33] Tete: ����
[22:34] Ggukie: a few drinks will fix you up, noona😁
[22:34]  Mimi: you'll invite me this time right?
[22:34] You: I don't know, you already used your mischief hours this week, I doubt Sejin would be so kind next time.
[22:34] Hobi: if he does that right now during practice, I also wouldn't be so kind to him😊
[22:34] Mimi: you are scaring me hyung…
[22:34] Hobi: good😊
[22:34] Tete: Hyung, are you just gonna ignore Jungkook leaving?!?!!?
The messages continued for a good five minutes, mostly consisting of holding Jimin back from leaving practice and him sending pictures of the infamous Hoseok death glare from across the room before your doorbell chime rang, making you shoot up straight.
A beat. Then it continues in three quick successions, the knocks almost in sing-song and sounded like two hands were used to produce the tune, giving you an inkling on who might be visiting you at this late hours of night.
Padding out of your room, the front door suddenly swings open without warning and you yelp. By the doorsteps stands the intruder, a tall man in a black coat with his face hidden by a mask and a cap. Your body would've frozen a thousand times over if you didn't know this stranger who's hugging two paper bags, one overflowing with snacks and the other a breeze away from tearing apart from the weight and water drenching the material of the bag.
"Hi noona!"
After today, seeing Jungkook felt like a cure, his presence alone repelling the heaviness in your shoulders and you ushered him inside and he wandered into your home with ease, approaching the coffee table to place down the shopping bags. 
Suddenly you remembered what he had scheduled prior.
"You're putting me on Hoba’s punishment rotation, what are you doing here?" 
He giggled. “We both know he won't, hyung loves you more than me.”
He falls on your couch with the ease of someone who has visited your space numerous times throughout the years, propping up his feet on the back support and folding his arms underneath his head before staring up at you, expectantly.
"Anyways, I brought us food and drinks, don't I deserve a little praise?" 
Sometimes it's easy to forget how young Jungkook really is, forced to grow and act mature to blend in with his surroundings, you've always seen him stand with pride alongside his hyungs. Seeing him awaiting for your praise so eagerly like a pup fills your heart with awe.
"Yeah yeah, good job. Now move over, let me sit down."
You tapped his arm, motioning him to move over so you could sit next to him, something he obeyed without resistance, busying himself in removing the contents from the soiled paper bag instead.
“Couldn't you have put some effort into it? At least sound grateful.” He pouts. Placing down the cluster of beer cans, you turned to him and pinched his cheeks.
“Oh my dearest darling, thank you for saving this noona of yours. Such an amazing baby I have here.”
Despite being the one who asked for it, Jungkook only rolled his eyes with a barely held back grin as he slapped your hands away, making you laugh, and turned to the bag holding the snacks he bought. You didn't miss the redness dusting his cheeks or the cheeky grin that tugged his lips wide as he spilled the contents of the last bag onto the table.
There's a significant amount of sweets and snacks laid before you, as well as stacks of canned beers and you turned to him with furrowed brows.
"Wouldn't this ruin your diet?"
He waved you off with a huff. "I work out enough to eat all of these in one sitting."
Instantly, your mind brings you back to white walls and gray furniture, faced with manager Sejin who warned you about interfering with the idols' diet at the start of your career. If it wasn't for Bang PD waving off their concerns, saying they needed to be rewarded for their hard work anyways, you would've been long booted out of the company.
It's a matter long settled yet it remains to weigh heavily in your head.
Seeing the hesitation in your eyes, Jungkook continues.
"I can show you proof of my efforts," 
He then reached down to the fabric of his shirt tucked into his jeans and tugged it up, flashing you the tightly corded muscles in forming on his abdomen and the thin happy trail you often see when patting his sweat down during concerts and you hastily pulled it back down with a yelp, cheeks growing hot while he laughed.
As he throws his head back in his mirth, you couldn't help but notice the way adulthood has taken away the fullness of his cheeks and has sharpened his features. A far cry from the sensitive young boy who cried his eyes out every time his hyungs got hurt. 
There was no denying that Jungkook had grown without you noticing and it makes your chest swell with pride knowing he's been raised well by the others, in extension, although not so much, you as well.
"Don't worry so much about me, noona. I can handle the consequences now, you leave the reprimanding to me."
Under the warm overhead light of your living room, even with the exaggerated puff of his chest and his nose turnt up high, Jungkook's shoulder had never looked sturdier, reliable, in your eyes. You smiled, reaching to pinch both his cheeks making him grin wider than he already was.
"Look at you acting so cool, when did you grow so much?"
He rolled his eyes, pulling your hands away from his cheeks and entangling it with his. “I've always been cool, you just don't pay attention to me, noona.”
Before you could reply, he's already moved to reach for the beverages on the coffee table, popping two of them open and handing you one can, immediately you take a swig.
The beer fizzled in your tongue and left a trail of burns down your throat. The sensation is refreshing nonetheless and you place it down next to him before picking up the large bags of chips and standing up.
"I'll go put these in a bowl, go put something on the tv."
"Can I play anime?"
You waved at him dismissively, unable to find it in yourself to say no to him as you head towards your kitchen to transfer the junk into a bowl when a shrill tune from your bedroom cuts through the air, someone was calling you. You look over to Jungkook, scrolling through his phone, no doubt looking for a movie online.
"Gguk, can you pick up the call for me? My hands are busy right now."
There's a shuffle of feet behind you and in a moment, your phone quietens down. Finished with filling one bowl, you turn to find Jungkook leaving your room with a deep look and your phone in hand. His jaw set tight as he stood there with furrowed brows, eyes lit with irritation.
Looking at his reaction, you asked about your mysterious caller.
"Who was it?"
When he turned to you, the tick in his jaw dispersed. All of a sudden, he's smiling at you with mischief twinkling in his eyes, the change giving you a whiplash.
"It was the others, didn’t answer their calls cause I want you for myself tonight, noona."
(Later on, you'd find yourself staring at the many unread messages and two missed calls from Guwon, wondering in your drunken state if you've muted your phone at some point earlier.)
Hearing it from his lips now, your body locks, heart stuttering in your chest and butterflies exploding in your stomach, spreading a tingly feeling throughout your body and you laugh. 
"Where did you hear that line from, brat? You just activated my fight or flight!"
"Taehyung says that and gets thanked but when I do it, I'm punished?" He pouts, stomping as he approaches the island counters and crossing his arms on the marble surface.
It reminded you of a bunny you saw from a video on the internet, angrily thumping their feet at their owner when it was being purposely ignored.
“In his defense, he does it while he’s acting like my crazy ‘exes’ and saves me from dates.”
“That’s just favoritism! I saved you once from a date!”
You threw him a deadpan stare. "Throwing me over your shoulders and kidnapping me isn’t the same as Tae and Jimin acting crazy enough to make the other guy uncomfortable to save me.”
Hoseok had your favorite troublemakers kneeled on the floor with both their hands up and facing the wall at the time, punishing them for being an hour late to their practice. He had called you in, asking if they had been accompanying you during —they weren’t. 
Long story short, you didn't risk sharing Hoseok’s wrath with the two and took Jungkook instead, a decision you quickly regretted later on in the night when instead of approaching to act like one of your exes when you gave him a signal, he hoisted you up onto his shoulder and ran away while your date only watched in terror.
“Now that’s blatant favoritism! I didn’t kidnap you, we ran away together into the sunset! It was romantic!"
"Not for the other guy, no! He was shitting bricks when he called my mom. She got me squatting the entire afternoon when we met again."
Mentioning it alone made phantom pains throb in your knees and thighs, you shivered. If torture wasn't a socially unacceptable and punishable offense in the modern world, you were sure your mother would have stripped you down to your underwear and made you squat under the sun in front of your family house instead. 
The absolute fury she unleashed on you that day is enough proof that she would've done it with no hesitation if it was lawfully appropriate.
"That's too much for a failed date."
"No reason to dwell on it. Main point is, don't take notes from dramas anymore."
With a last roll of his eye, Jungkook then picked up the bowls and brought them to the coffee table following you who had returned to your seat ahead of him. Once the two of you are situated back on the couch, he navigates through the streaming app for an interesting title before eventually settling on the romance anime he claimed to have heard amazing reviews about.
Without hesitation, Jungkook navigates himself into a familiar between your legs and leaned back on your chest, head finding his rightful space under your chin with a precision gained from doing so for years.
It goes without saying that Bangtan is affectionate. With the pressure they had during their rise to fame, it wasn't shocking that they comfortably seeked each other's comfort and spared no skinship. As one of the only staff within constant exposure that's close to their age, you too became one of their pillars of serenity. 
It was the reason you had crushes on everyone at least twice during your time as their make-up artist, not that any of the boys knew nor does it matter.
Stability and work takes precedence over something as shaky as love.
There's only so much comfort another man can offer, your mother says from years before.
Jungkook more than anyone else in the group. 
As a boy who sacrificed his childhood and time with his parents to pursue his dream, you felt more inclined to watch over him than the others who were adults by the time you joined. You were there for his first heartbreak, his first drink, his high school graduation; the point is, you were there and you held him every time he struggled with problems—mostly girl problems—he's too shy to seek his hyungs for.
But now with his growth spurt, cuddling up to you like he used to when he was younger with his gangly legs awkwardly hanging from the couch, carelessly leaning his head in between the mounds of your breast while his large hand mindlessly drew circles on your knee, you found yourself wondering about the appropriateness of it all.
A man and a woman alone in a room at night in close proximity, body leaning against each other. Society would argue they wouldn’t end the night as friends anymore after the encounter.
You paused mid-drink and grimaced.
It must be the beer talking.
"Noona."
"Yeah?"
"Wrap your arms around me, it's cold."
You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's not though? I always keep my house warm." 
He let out an exasperated groan before reaching behind to grab your arm and roughly slinging it on his shoulders.
As time continued its cycle and episodes started to fly across the screen, the pile of opened beer cans on the table expanded. You really tried to focus on the movie but the feeling of his fingers tracing stars on your bare thigh left you oddly bothered. Jungkook has shifted his position higher at some point during the movie, his body now turned sideways, successfully squeezing himself into the small space between you and the back of the couch, legs entangling itself with yours while an arm is thrown across your body.
This position puts his nose closer to your ears and it makes you shiver. The feel of his hot breath fanning across your skin has given you more goosebumps in under an hour more than you've had throughout your life.
Even drunk, you could feel the building tension thickening around you and the will to tell him to off ebbs away with every caress of his fingers.
Gone were the innocent traces of stars and hearts on your thigh, his hand now grabbed onto your waist almost possessively, thumb rolling slow circles on your bare stomach; the motion conjuring the most unholiest of thoughts known to mankind.
When the credits started rolling, you knew you had to draw the line before you lost yourself to intoxicated thoughts and end the night with regrets.
"Time for you to go home now, your hyungs must be looking for you."
You tried prying his hand from your waist so you could reach for your phone on the table only for him to tighten around you, stopping you from moving away. He groaned, head nuzzling closer into your neck and his lips grazed your skin. 
Instantly, electric jolts shoot through your body.
"Jungkook, I need to get my phone and tell someone to fetch you from here."
"Can't I just stay the night? I'm too comfortable right now…"
The gruff in his voice and the sensation of his lips moving on your skin has your stomach fluttering and you're too drunk to address the growing heat in your abdomen but thanked the sense of professionalism seeping through the fogs of your intoxicated mind.
Managing to pry him off, you reached for your phone and opened up SMS to tell Jin to pick their youngest up.
           [01:21] You: Jwannn
           [01:21] You: can you pick up your kid from my house? He's drunk and stinkyyy
           [01:23] Jinnie: your knight in shining armor is on the way!
“Just let me stay the nighttt,” he whined into your skin.
"I don't have any more spare beds other than this couch for you to sleep in, Gguk. I turned the other room into a closet, remember?"
"I can just sleep with you on the bed, we used to do that, didn't we?"
He attempted to reach around you again but you pushed his limbs away once more before slapping his arm.
You tried not noticing how thicker and harder the muscles felt, you really did. 
"But it's different now, Gguk. Come on, go wash up and drink water, I've already told someo—"
The moment you rose to stand, his arms shot around your waist in record speed and pulled you flush to his front, nuzzling his nose on the back of your neck before he sighed. When the first hot exhale hits your skin, you flinch away but the limbs wounded tightly around your middle restrict you from moving.
You try to ignore the heat simmering under your skin but it was hard when you felt the press of his plush lips on your nape as he leans closer into your skin. 
“You always smell so nice, noona.” He whispered breathily, the sensation of his moving mouth sending shivers down your spine and you shivered.
“I-I can give you my lotion brand later, let me go so I can get it.”
“But I'm comfortable here…”
Mustering every strength left in your body, you manage to pull an arm out of the death grip he had on your body and slapped his hand. Jungkook easily ignores it.
“Come on Gguk, let me out now. This isn't appropriate.”
"How is it different now?"
The alcohol intoxicating your system loosened your grip on your inhibitions and your lips regrettably moved faster than your brain.
"You're a man now, Gguk. Honestly, we shouldn't be even doing this right now. It's inappropriate."
You try to stand once more, managing to pry him from your waist and standing up before his arms hooked around you once more and tugging you back down, this time on his lap as he burrows his head onto your back.
"Gguk?"
"Yo-you see me as a man, noona?"
As a child your mother has taught you how words could heavily influence and drastically change a situation, now as an adult, you've mastered the art of speech. But as you sit still on his thighs, body warm and inhibitions blurred by the alcohol, your loose lips have led you back to the very thing you try to avoid.
"It's hard not to think so when you've grown up this much."
In a flash, Jungkook is now hovering over your face as he places you back down on the couch, his nose a hair's width from touching yours and his hands planted on each side of your head. 
There's a feral hunger swimming in his eyes as it stared into yours, desperate and intense before it fell to the plush of your parted lips and his gaze darkens. All of a sudden, you're a prey pinned down by an apex predator who's ready to devour you at any given moment.
Fire alarms blared in your mind and you regained control over your senses.
“Jungkook.”
"Noona."
You tried wriggling out of his grasp but it was no use, he's stronger. "Get off of me, kid."
“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a kid anymore?”
“I'm not hearing anything out when you're acting like this, Gguk.”
He scoffed. “I just want to sleep here, in the same bed, nothing else is gonna happen. Why is it such a bad thing?”
“It's different now, Gguk. Come on, let me go.”
“How is it so different? You and Jimin hyung cuddle sometimes, I've seen you fall asleep next to Hobi hyung once, why is it different with me?”
“It's different because we're both drunk and things could happen.”
“I wouldn't mind it.” Jungkook responds with a cheeky smile. His grip on one of your wrist loosened enough that you were able to hit his arm and he giggled in response.
“But I do. It wouldn't be fair.”
Even something as small as letting one member stay at your home without the others can be the loudest announcement for the rest of the group. All those times you've rejected your friends, with reasons like ‘I don’t want to risk everything’, and ‘I don't want to hurt the others’, to turn back around to accept their youngest would be hypocritical of you.
He scoffs. "You tell us about all your stupid dates, don't you think it's more unfair for us?”
A familiar weight grows in your chest. Guilt tasted like rust on your tongue and dug into your heart with a ribbed knife. Your own late night thoughts manifesting before you and you pushed him away.
After everything, you were all friends, you trusted them more than you do with your other circle. There's not a secret left undiscussed between the eight of you so it was no surprise that you had indulged them with the details of your quest for a husband. Nobody ever raised any complaints with you sharing your days so you never thought twice about it.
It's been five years since Jin had confessed, three for Taehyung. Their eldest had confessed for the sake of him finally being able to move on after your rejection and with how he acted after, you had believed him. It was different for Taehyung who had continued to act like normal after his confession, neither dejected nor did he show signs of letting go but he did introduce a date to your group once, a year later, so you had assumed the same.
Were you wrong after all?
“Jungkook, we're drunk. Let’s talk about this tom—”
“I've never been more sober in my life than I am right now, noona.”
You didn't respond, couldn't reply.
What were you supposed to even say?
Jungkook usually obeyed you and his hyungs without hesitation, happily offering his aid whenever he could. He's the type of friend who's run himself dry just to fetch you a cup of water from the other side of the world but now as he hovers over you, he became a whole new person.
Greed has always been an irritating parasite that eats away at a person's morals but somehow in your drunken mind, you thought it looked so good on him. It fits him and his generous character the way one light clothing molds well with the dark fabrics. His familiar scent of vanilla and coconut clouded your senses, calming your panicking mind into a hush, leaving nothing but the thoughts of how his lips tasted and wondering if he’s as sweet as he smelled.
He let out a shaky exhale from through his mouth as he watched your parted lips with a rapt attention as if hypnotized by the way they subtly trembled with every breath that passed through.
In the pregnant silence of your room, his voice cuts through like a knife.
“Can I kiss you?”
He whispers against your lips, voice breaking in the middle from the weight of his request, honeyed and pleading, as if your kiss holds the answer to the problems of the world and holds the power to break him.
His hand travels up to cup your cheek oh so carefully like you're fragile china yet you feel yourself shatter under his touch.
You are losing grasp on your sober thoughts as lust starts to cloud your already compromised judgment, his request far too tempting to ignore.
Maybe a kiss wouldn’t hurt. 
But wouldn’t it be unfair for the others who have expressed their romantic intentions to you since years ago? 
It was a last ditch effort to reason with your mind and your body froze from the cold wave of realization. In the short time after his question, you recall the confessions you turned down to not ruin the relationship Bangtan has established for themselves and the bitter taste it left on your tongue.
“Jungkook… we can’t.”
Watching his expression contort into confused hurt almost made you want to take your words back, but your mind takes you to memories of apologetic and understanding smiles you’ve received throughout the years and the aches from those moments resurfaces, squeezing your heart in a tight grip.
“I-I’m sorry I can’t control my feelings, I just wanted to tell you about it… Thought that maybe after this, I could move on.” An apologetic voice whispers, the memory of premature confessions in the middle of a cleanup resurfacing.
“I can’t—I can’t do it to them, it’d be unfair.”
You pushed him back and he relented, letting himself be sat back onto the other side of the couch defeatedly. Despite it, his tight grip on your waist remained, pulling you flush to him and burying his face in your chest as if trying to hear the lie in your words through the beatings of your heart.
“I’m also seeing Guwon now.”
“Then don’t let me meet him. I-I don’t know if I can take it.”
It was heart wrenching and at the same time, left an uncomfortable twist in your stomach. Jungkook never had to beg since you first met him, everything he could ever want was given to him by you and his hyungs without hesitation. Hearing him plead for you to never bring Guwon around if fate had actually paired you both, it was a different kind of pain.
It felt like thorns growing and rooting its stems of pointy ends into the deepest parts of your heart. You hated this, but you don’t want to hurt any of your boys by accepting one.
Relief comes in the form of Taehyung when he busted into your apartment while Jungkook has excused himself to your bathroom to sober up just a moment before. Seokjin trails behind him, calmer than the younger man who declared his arrival with a deep voice and a loud bang of the door. You immediately thought of the elderly couple and the new family of three living next to you and internally facepalmed.
“Noona! We’ve come to take Jungkook away!”
Kim Seokjin’s face has never been more handsome when he closed the door behind him, and you verbalized your thought, leading his ears to glow red in embarrassment.
“Am I only handsome to you when I’m closing the doors?! This face that people fawn over all over the world?!”
“It’s your true calling, door guy.”
“Oh shut it hyung, you’re making my head hurt.” Jungkook mutters as he reentered the living room, looking far better than when he left.
The tension was palpable, the effect of a rejected profession still raw and thick in the small joined space of the living room and kitchen and you caught Jin's eyes as the two youngest bickered, there’s a knowing look passed between you, an unsaid ‘let’s talk later’ hanging in the air.
“Hey, just because you got to escape Hoba’s practice without scratch doesn't mean you're hot shit, show me some respect!”
Seokjin scolds, accompanied by a playful kick to their youngest’s butt. Immediately the stuffy air dissipates and Jungkook responds in kind; by kicking him in the shin, hard enough to launch Seokjin into another lengthy nag.
It was a quick retrieval after his rant. Jungkook lets himself be towed out of your apartment by an oddly enthusiastic Taehyung who's going on about a new game trailer he saw online while Jin has offered to be left behind to clean up the mess. It was no doubt obvious, the familiar awkwardness and tenseness brought by a rejected confession lingered in the air when they arrived, it only took him one look at you and he already knew. 
The moment the door slams shut behind the boys, he immediately began:
“Did he admit it?”
His voice was soft yet it rang loudly in the pindrop silence of your living room. The sigh he let out echoed more when you nodded.
“I told him to not do it, you know? But you know how stubborn he gets.”
You didn’t reply. You simply move, walking to the trash bin to put the empty beer cans in and Jin follows close with the bowls stacked on top of each other to place in the sink. It was a brief moment of reprieve. He let the moment from earlier simmer in your stomach, let the smoke from it fill your lungs and weigh your heart till you burst.
Out of the seven boys, you've always turned to either him or Yoongi as they're older than you, so it came to nobody's shock when you break and told him.
“It just never gets better, I always feel guilty even if I didn’t choose. I’m just lucky I didn’t have to suffer through seven of these, I don’t think I could take it and just quit.”
It was a thought you’ve entertained when Taehyung came to you with his heart in his hand, giving it to you carelessly despite knowing how you’ve handled the other confessions. He was all dopey smiles and flushed cheeks, it continued even when you’ve pushed his heart back to him with an apologetic look.
Seeing the happy creases in his eyes iron out despite the huge boxy smile continuing to play on his lips, the existing pressuring guilt reawakened. Taehyung’s heart that gleamed and glowed gold, vulnerable for you to take and use from where it settled in the middle of his offering palms. You could’ve taken advantage of it all as they were rising in fame, when they were facing discrimination from the other companies and had found comfort in you but you didn’t.
Even with the attraction you've felt for them, you were nothing but a makeup artist to the company. Another asset to deploy and replace if it got annoying to handle. You couldn't risk your career on uncertainties, this is your dream job.
You loved them all equally and held them in the same regards as the others, they’re your best friends, chosen soul companions even without the marks to solidify it. 
They loved you and you loved them all but you wouldn't bet your life on an uncertain future.
“You should give us more credit, you know?” 
He says from the kitchen sink, the sound of water slowing into a halt. Seokjin didn’t move for a while. When he did, it was to place down the plates, washing his hands before turning around to face you.
“We’re grown adults now, we can handle rejection so don’t feel too bad about it. You can choose and we’d even help you keep it a secret from everyone besides us eight.”
It was genuine. Even in the haze of your intoxication, those words felt like a cool balm for your aching heart. While Namjoon’s words were cited research, formal and factual and Yoongi’s were calming droughts to ease the discomfort of sadness brought by gloomy thoughts, Seokjin speaks from the heart, true and unbiased but says it with a gentleness and care. 
Guilt sets like a boulder on your heart. Being able to feel, to experience such a privilege when all you've done is break his heart since your hunt for a husband, the weight in your chest multiplied and tears sprung from your eyes.
You wanted them but you couldn't risk your dream job, couldn't risk a friendship as precious as theirs for kisses and hugs that eventually has its ends.
You didn’t even notice it when he crossed the distance between you both and pulled you plush to his chest but you recognized the familiar sensation of plush lips pressing against your forehead.
If it lingered a few seconds past what's platonically allowed, you didn’t mention it.
Seokjin’s muted scent of freshly baked cakes brought silence to the rampaging waves of thoughts in your mind and if you pressed your nose flush to his chest to bury yourself in his fragrance, he didn’t say anything, bringing one hand behind your head protectively.
“I'm sorry to put you through this pain, Jinnie. I-I didn’t know.”
“I knew you didn’t know but I'll be fine... eventually.” He breathes out before leaning down to bury himself into the nest of your hair. "As long as you're happy, then I am too."
It was heavy, being loved and held so preciously even after you’ve turned him down, it felt cruel, sadistic even. But like the selfish woman you are, you accepted it. Soaked in his affections greedily.
“You know, he asked me to never show Guwon around you guys.”
He sighed. “I knew he would.”
“Do you want that as well?
Silence followed but you heard his answer loud and clear.
The second date happened after the first leg of the tour in Seoul.
Although planned suddenly, you appreciated the downtime after being lost in the haze of rushed outfit changes, reapplying makeup, and patting sweat from foreheads. If anything, you were thankful you could loosen up after earlier. The awkward tension didn’t go amiss, it only took Namjoon and Yoongi one look between you and Jungkook before taking charge on how the night progresses.
Yoongi didn't waste any time waving you over to ask for help for his makeup, even when he was already being prepped by one of your older colleagues, Ji hae. Thankfully, the woman lets you take over, saying she wanted a snack anyways.
The man didn't bother asking you what happened and settled comfortably in his chair but not before offering you the snack he bought earlier and was laying neglected on his lap. Yoongi asked about Guwon in a hushed voice, because while you were living in a reverse harem with most of his brothers, he was genuinely curious about your boyfriend-to-be.
Maybe it was the fact he has never admitted his affections for you that made it comfortable to discuss topics you could never talk about with the others with him, but you let your tongue a little loose.
And he listened.
Yoongi has always been a man of action not words, his love language has always been opening water bottles, blankets appearing from nowhere when you're passed out on their couch, and listening attentively. Despite what the world says about his nonchalance and silence, in your eyes, he's the sweetest guy on the roster—not that you'd tell Jimin that of course, he'd riot if he were to find out.
By the end of the concert, Guwon asks you on an impromptu date. A simple late night walk on a market nearby because there's apparently a food fair, and as usual, the expenses are on him. Hungry with a principle of never turning down free food, of course you accepted. 
Though you had a long time deciding whether to go or not with Jungkook’s confession still fresh.
Minutes later, he's waiting for you by the exit. The scene of him leaning on his Mercedes, waiting for you to reach him at the bottom of the stairs looks like it was pulled out of a kdrama.
Oddly enough, they didn’t question your lack of updates in the group chat but Jimin reached out later on and you suspect he told everyone your whereabouts instead, hopefully minus the date part to spare the others (read: Jungkook) from heartbreak.
The fair looked like a mirage of a paradise in the night hidden away in a small gently-lit up alley. The path was lightened up with gentle lanterns hung above you, the warm colors setting a more intimate scene. It wasn’t as luxurious as dinner from yesterday or as calming as the bike ride around the Han river but you appreciated it nonetheless.
You’re ready to drop dead but you pushed through, you wanted this relationship to work. Because then, maybe the monsters—your mother and her wide selection of personalities as well as aunties, her friends, trying to refer you to their horrible sons—haunting you from under your bed will finally leave you alone.
It was cruel that you’re using someone else to erase the memory of being professed to by one of your best friends.
Guwon was happy enough to take charge the whole date, leading you from food stall after food stall, ordering whatever your eyes lingered at which is half of what the fair offers. He understands your lack of responses as it is, tired from work, and talked enough for the both of you. Which you are grateful for.
He talked about his job and what happened that day, willingly telling you about the story of how he and his co-workers clicked back in College, never to part till now in the field they wanted. He spoke of his dreams, how he envisioned his dream home by the province surrounded by nature and the cat named Nabi waiting for him at home.
There's nothing more blatant of a signal than the last part, whether you accept it or not depends on you.
Normally, you would've frowned at the thought, immediately thinking of running away but as the night deepens and stalls start to close, the idea grows more and more tempting despite the logical voice in your head disagreeing. Seeking a distraction and possibly leading on a kind man is cruel, both to him and you.
But at the end of the day, it’s just an escape from the reality you're stuck in, a temporary answer to a long time problem. 
How harmful can it be? 
People had hookups before, you’ve had hookups before your mother has started a hunt for your husband this year so what are you so reluctant for? 
If this man is to be your husband, you should check your physical compatibility right?
You shivered. God, you sounded like one of those shitty guys you’ve dated before.
"Hey, the stalls just closed. Are you fine with me driving you back to your house?"
His voice cuts through your deep thoughts and you turn to him. Even in the dimly lit corner of the alley, Guwon looked attractive as ever with his dimpled smile and laid back attitude, his soft eyes gleaming under the lanterns, affections overflowing from his gaze and you. shuddered from its weight. 
Staring at the man, you wondered if you'd ever fall in love with him as he seemed right now.
Soon enough, you both arrive in front of your apartment building. However, not every plan goes through as you thought it'd go and you find two familiar figures rushing down to meet you. 
Taehyung didn't hesitate to run up to you with open arms and a wide smile. He didn't even care that you both almost toppled over if it wasn't for Guwon hand supporting you from the back.
"Wh-why are you two here? Shouldn't you guys be resting?"
Jimin shrugged but you caught the mischievous glint in his eyes as a small smile tugs his lips. "Hyung got so worried and wanted us to make sure you got home safely."
"Even a thumbs up would be great but you ignored every text and call! Jin hyung panicked and sent us out, if you didn't come home, he would've had a huge manhunt for you." Taehyung chimed in, pulling away but keeping his hands on your shoulders as he stared deep into your eyes, as if trying to hypnotize you into believing them.
Jimin snickered. “Yoongi hyung was an hour away from declaring you missing so the good dongsaengs we are, we decided to camp outside your apartment.”
You would've accepted his explanation, it was logically sound yet the dark glint of mischief and something else in his eyes as his gaze bounced from you to Guwon told you a different story.
They've always had to interrupt your dates when it becomes sour but this was the first time they've confronted a potential partner outside the intentions of ruining a date because you wanted it to suck.
This was them laying their claim over their own, a silent statement. A declaration you try not to think so much about, fearing you'd dig yourself deep and fall to your death.
“These must be one of your kids?” Guwon asks from behind, reminding you of his presence and you turn to him with an apologetic look.
“Yeah, Taehyung and Jimin. I practically raised them.”
Jimin scoffs and your head snapped to him, widening your eyes in warning to which he ignored. “Just because you’re a year older, doesn’t mean you could say you raised us you know?”
“See what I deal with everyday?” 
Guwon laughs lightheartedly before patting your head to get your attention. “Since your kids are here to protect you, I should get going now.”
“Drive safely.”
“See you soon?”
“Definitely.”
Then he placed a haste kiss on the edge of your lips, catching you off guard and you froze. Guwon was already in his car by the time you realized what happened and turned to chastise him. You couldn't even knock on the passenger window when the arms coiled around your shoulders tightened and tugged you close.
Letting Guwon kiss you in front of one of the men who confessed to you once was the first mistake, second was looking up at Taehyung whose hug is starting to hurt.
Gone were the usual giddiness and child-like enthusiasm that would pour from his eyes. It was replaced by a colder glare, almost blank and emotionless as it narrowed behind you and jaw locked tight. There was something primal in the way his hand behind your head was pushing you closer to him as if he was hounding over his game from another predator.
Goosebumps prickled your skin awake.
If butterflies exploded in your stomach and ignited a molten heat in your abdomen at that very moment, it's a secret you’d take to your grave.
“Tae?”
“Noona, I think we should head inside. It's getting cold.” Jimin’s sweet voice sounded forced and you resisted the urge to look at him.
While their reaction to being challenged is obvious, you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why he should feel like that when he’s been seeing other people since his confession. From your past dates where he attended as one of your escape plans, he’s  never expressed such an intense show of displeasure so you thought his fleeting crush had passed.
Until tonight.
When Taehyung pulled away, the traces of his hostility were gone and you had to double take at how vastly different he's appearing now. He has his lower lip pushed out into a pout, eyes wide with mirth as he reaches up to cup your cheeks, his warm palms heating your cold-nipped skin.
“Aigoo, you're so cold noona. Let's go in and binge that foreign show you've been following.”
With hands now intertwined, he leads you inside the building where Jimin was already standing inside and was holding the door open for you both. You were being tugged into your own home yet you couldn’t help but feel tense as Taehyung and Jimin welcomed you back in with the same dark look you saw earlier.
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blumineck · 1 year ago
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hi! you're great I love your work! I've got a weirdly specific archery question and thought I'd send it to you in case you'd find it fun to have a crack at
say you're an expert archer originally from Vietnam sometime in the late bronze age. say you're a super duper expert archer because it turns out you're immortal, and so you do your archery across Eurasia through the first millennium BCE and the first millennium CE and into the age where gunpowder weapons are evolving into cannons. that's a long time to be alive and you do lots of hunting and fighting with all kinds of bows and shooting styles, especially war archery on horseback. then you're out of the picture for a while, let's say you're peacefully sleeping for a handful of centuries. (this is about Quynh from The Old Guard who alas was not peacefully sleeping)
all of a sudden you blink and you've gone from the era where firearms were just starting to develop and maybe with this new flintlock thing guns could eventually get good enough to rival a bow and arrows— bam, now you're in the 21st century. what kinds of modern archery tech would you be most excited to try out? what would you think of a compound bow? Olympic style archery? plastic fletching?? how about the modern reproductions of what are now considered historical bows and shooting styles? is there anything about 21st century archery that you'd want to rant about at length? other opinions about these newfangled takes on your trusty old bow and arrows you care to share?
This is a phenomenal question, and thank you for asking it! Here’s my 2 cents:
The thing about modern archery is that for the most part, modern bows are designed to make it easier to be accurate, to the stage that modern target accuracy is probably better than it’s ever been historically.
BUT, if we assume Quynh is capable of feats of archery that match the level of melee combat skill that e.g. Andy has, then she doesn’t NEED it to be easier to be accurate.
My guess is that someone like her would actually find most modern archery developments needlessly slow and awkward. Compound bows and Olympic recurves are NOT designed for instinctive, fast shooting, and would probably feel quite restrictive once she got over how easy they made accuracy.
BUT, I imagine she would be blown away by the range and arrow speed that modern bows can generate, and there are some recurves (and at least one compound bow), that have been designed to make use of the efficiency of modern materials and bow design, while still allowing traditional shooting styles, and those, THOSE are something an ancient immortal archer might fall in love with! (FWIW, my own go-to is a horsebow made with carbon-fibre limbs and a modern limb profile, and for impact energy it can match some traditional bows with a draw weight that’s 50% greater. The Oneida eagle compound could trump that).
So yeah, it might take her a bit, but once she gets her hands on the right equipment, she’d be (even more) TERRIFYING!
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girl-of-many-fandoms · 1 year ago
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Insufferable
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Pairing: Tim Bradford x Reader
Summary: Y/N has a lot to say about her lovely T.O.
Warnings: none
MASTERLIST
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"Hey sunshine, haven't seen you since roll call." Y/N shot daggers at her friend as she plopped down into her seat.
"I have had a long morning and that infuriating thing of a man didn't make it any easier." Nolan, Chen and West couldn't help but laugh at their friend's misery. They all had the pleasure of working with officer Bradford one on one so they knew the hell he was giving the rookie.
"I honestly don't know how you all put up with him and his method of training. I swear to God that man is half robot, half man. He's insufferable!"
While she was busy ranting about Tim, she failed to notice her friends were no longer snickering at her rant, smiles long gone frome their face as Tim stood silently behind her hearing every word from her mouth.
"I'll add that right to the list of names I've been called, Boot." Y/N felt all the colour drain from her face hearing Tim's voice directly behind her. She stood up and turned to face him.
"Sir I'm sorry-"
"Save it, let's go." Tim stormed off towards their patrol vehicle, not interested in hearing a thing she had to say.
"Someone's in trouble."
"It was nice knowing you."
"I hate you all." Y/N managed to take a bite out of her sandwich and a large gulp of her soda before trailing behind her clearly ticked off T.O.
Tim sat in the driver's seat, watching her drag her feet back to the car. She wouldn't admit it but the officer scared her even more in this moment as he watched her like a hawk.
He watched silently as she got in and buckled up. With a shake of his head he started the vehicle and pulled away from the curb. He drove past three blocks before he finally said something.
"If you think that I have been hard on you these past couple months, I am about to make your remaining months as a rookie even more insufferable. I could easily make this your last day but that would be me being nice."
Y/N wished that she could've disappeared at this very moment so she wouldn't have to deal with whatever hell Tim was surely going to put her through.
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petersasteria · 9 days ago
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Hey, It's Been A While - G Dragon/Kwon Ji Yong
Pairing: GD x Reader Summary: long time partners that don't have the same goal
A/N: i just want to say that it's been a while since I've written a fic and this is my first time writing for GD sksksks I've been wanting to write for a while now and I just want to thank @ldydeath @thanosscross @loveesiren @welcometoyunosworld @dollzites @natalicss for inspiring me to write again <3
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He was your whole world. You were his. Everything seemed right until it wasn't.
A year into your relationship, everything was still phenomenal. It was like the honeymoon phase never ended. He treated you right and he did right by you. You pampered him when he was tired and he always sent you updates when he was at work. He even started sending you food, knowing that you always forgot to eat on time.
God, you were in love with this man. After your first year together, you knew he was the one. You knew in your heart that nobody could replace him and you hope that he felt that too.
Years go by and suddenly, you've been dating for 9 years. Everyone was pestering you to get married already, but Ji-yong never asked... not yet. Your relationship with him was never rocky and despite multiple breakup rumors, it remained stronger than ever. It stood the test of time and Ji-yong liked to prove people wrong all the time. He brought you to events all the time and he would be the one to send you those shitty rumors first before anyone else would, just so the two of you could make fun of it.
God, he was in love with you. He loved every single moment he shared with you. It was weird because he figured that he was the only man in the world who falls in love with you even more when you're angry. He absolutely loved you when you were angry because he loved seeing your real emotions toward things that angered you. He loved supporting you when you got angry. If you were cussing someone out during a rant, he'd do the same thing because he knew that you'd look at him, laugh, and forget what you were even angry about which annoyed you a lot, but he knew you were thankful. Your first year together was the best year he ever had. He wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Years go by and he's still so madly and sickeningly in love with you. He would never want to hurt your feelings that's why when rumors started going around about your breakup, he'd make sure to send it to you first attached with a cruel joke that only you two would understand. He'd smile to himself when you give it a 'haha' react and reply with another joke. It'd be enough to put him in a good mood.
Lately, he's starting to notice something different about you. You were a little bit sad, but he didn't know what to do and it scared him because he'd usually know what to do and what to say. He could read your expressions so well and it killed him that he couldn't read it now. For the first time in 9 years, he couldn't understand what was wrong.
To remedy the situation, he took you out on a date in a very expensive restaurant. He didn't care how much he'd spend. He just wanted to see you happy and to know if something's wrong. He wanted to make you feel better.
Obviously, that action didn't register the same way to you. He wanted to talk to you and ask what's going on, and you thought he was proposing. Of course, none of you knew what the other was thinking during the time both of you were getting ready in the same room. He glanced at you as he put his cufflinks on and smiled when he saw you smiling to yourself. 'My girl's back.' He thought. You looked up at him as you smoothed out your dress and smiled, "Ready to go?"
The whole ride going to the restaurant was quiet. It was a comfortable kind of quiet. The soft music filling the car and the reflection of the lights coming from the street lamps and shops illuminated your faces perfectly. He wanted to take multiple pictures of you then and there to make it his new lockscreen, but he didn't want both of you to get injured because he was too busy driving. Despite having a lot of money, he didn't feel the need to hire a driver because he thinks that going on drives with you is intimate no matter where you go.
You arrived at the restaurant and got seated at the best table with the best view. You scanned the menu, ordered your food, and smiled at each other. "Um, it's been a while since we went on a proper date. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love staying in, but I just feel like dressing up with you and going to a fancy place for a change. If that's alright?" He asked, anxious for your reply. He didn't know why he was anxious around you. He guessed that maybe he didn't want to upset you by saying the wrong thing.
"That's perfectly fine, Ji." You smiled shyly, thinking he's nervous about his proposal. "I'll go wherever you go. We've been together for so long, I can't even remember what it's like to function without you."
Both of you laughed and agreed. You started talking about your job and how you're eyeing for that big promotion because the pay is better and the office is bigger. He just kept listening and laughing and only talking when he was curious about one topic or if he had any opinions or views about something you said. At one point, he couldn't help himself because of how your face was perfectly illuminated by the light coming from the restaurant's warm, dim lights. He asked for you to pose as he took multiple pictures. Some of it were candid shots of you asking him to stop because it was taking too long. Despite all the magazine-worthy photos he took of you, he chose the most candid one as his lockscreen because it took him back to when you first met.
"I'm really glad that you're smiling again, Y/N." He said as he toyed a little bit with his dessert's toppings using his dessert spoon. Your head tilted a little bit to the side as you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. What was he talking about?
He looked at you and said, "Oh, I mean it's nothing bad... I hope. Um, recently, I noticed that you were sad and you had this expression I couldn't read and I panicked because I didn't know how to fix it and you've never been so closed off like that with me. Now that you're smiling and laughing, it makes me feel better that you're feeling better." He breathed and smiled a big smile, "I'm really glad you're feeling better. You can tell me if I've done anything to upset you, you know that right?"
You nodded your head and said, "You did nothing wrong, actually. I guess I was just a bit sad because of what people are saying about us... or about me."
His eyes went dark and said, "What?" He wasn't aware that people were saying stuff about the two of you or about you, specifically. It angered him that people were trying to breakup the one relationship he cherished the most. He felt betrayed and backstabbed. You nodded and said, "They said that you didn't really love me and that I'm just a placeholder for when you meet your true love."
He was so hurt that you said that so casually. "Anyway, I don't believe it anymore because it's ridiculous! Especially now that it's happening." You said giddily. He chuckled in confusion and shook his head slightly, "I'm sorry, what's happening?"
"You know..." You said in excitement. "No, I don't know actually." He said with genuine confusion.
"Oh. Is this not what I thought it was?" You asked in a small voice, feeling absolutely mortified and embarrassed.
"What are you on about, my love?" He asked. He didn't understand. He didn't have a clue at all.
You gave him a tight-lipped smile and said, "Let's just go home."
As soon as you got home, you marched straight to your shared room with Ji-yong quickly following behind. "Hey, what's going on? Please tell me. You know that I don't like to be kept in the dark about things that concern our relationship."
You looked at him as you took off your shoes and earrings. "Fine. We've been together for 9 years and you still haven't proposed. Why?"
He chuckled, "Is that it? Is that why you're so upset? I can answer that right now."
"Okay. Please enlighten me."
"I don't believe in marriage and starting a family, Y/N." He said coolly. "I thought it was obvious? I mean, we have a great relationship going on and I absolutely adore you and everyone knows that. I just don't feel the need to put it on a piece of paper. You're the only woman in my life and I'm the only man in your life and it's always been that way. Everybody knows that."
Your heart shattered into a million pieces. "What?" was all you said. He shrugged and sat down on your shared bed, "Yeah. I thought you knew? I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I genuinely thought you knew this whole time." You shook your head and started crying.
You sat down on the bed next to him and started crying. He pulled you in for a hug, but you pushed him away. He was hurt that you did that because you never pushed him away before. "What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing your back and pushing your hair away from your face.
You looked up at him and said, "I don't think I can go on this way."
"What do you mean?" He panicked. Is this it? Is your relationship ending after 9 beautiful years?
"We have different goals. I want to get married and have kids, Ji. I find it so selfish of you to not tell me and expect me to be okay with it now. If you told me that 9 years ago-"
"You would've left immediately, I know you would. Please don't leave me now. We're doing so great." He pleaded.
"Ji-yong, please-"
"Will you marry me?"
"What?" You looked at him like was crazy.
"You wanted to get married, right? I love you too much for you to walk away. Let's get married and have kids like what you've always dreamed of. How many kids do you want? We can move out of here and find a more quiet place for us to start a family and-"
"I don't want you to hate me."
"I could never hate you, Y/N. Don't be silly."
"Oh, but you would. You'd resent me for marrying me because you never wanted to get married. You'd resent our children because you never wanted to have children. We want different things in life and maybe we were just meant to meet, but not destined to be with each other."
"Y/N, I love you. Please marry me."
"You're just asking me that because you want me to stay, not because you want to marry me. Ji-yong, my love, it's okay. It'll take some time, but I hope you find someone who has the same goal as you."
Those were your last words to him before you parted ways. Your breakup was called the "breakup of the century" because it shocked everyone.
-
It's been 2 years since then and Ji-yong heard that you were getting married and that you were pregnant. He was truly happy for you because you got what you wanted, but it killed him to know that it's not him you're marrying and it's not him who's fathering your child. He was invited to the wedding and so are Daesung and Taeyang. They didn't want him to go because they knew it would hurt his feelings, but he assured them that he'll be fine. He moved on... a little bit.
He hoped to talk to you, though.
He wandered around aimlessly through the halls and hoped that by sheer luck, he finds your dressing room. He spots a group of bridesmaids and he switches on his charm and asks them if they were your bridesmaids. They said yes and he immediately asked where your dressing room was.
They led him there before leaving. He could hear you singing softly to yourself, indicating that you were alone. After all this time, he still knew you like the back of his hand. He smiled to himself and knocked on your door.
"Mom, please calm down. For the nth time, I don't need water!" You said through the door. He chuckled to himself before opening the door.
"Sorry to disappoint. I'm not your mom." He said softly. His gaze immediately falling on your beautiful face matched with your perfectly styled hair, then on your white wedding dress.
"Ji-yong."
"Y/N."
"You're here! Wow." You said in surprise. "Um, please sit." You motioned for him to sit on your couch and you sat down next to him.
"You look beautiful, Y/N." He smiled. His smile reached his eyes and you gave him a shy look. His compliments still gave you butterflies.
"Thank you. I'm glad you could make it."
"I'm sorry, Y/N." He said. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. Now that I look back, it really was shitty of me to tell you that I didn't want to get married and expect you to accept it. It was also shitty of me to propose to you just for you to stay, and you were right. I would've hated you and I don't want to hate you because I love you so much. In fact, I love you so much that I can't let you go."
"What are you saying?"
"I don't know what I'm saying." He chuckled bitterly. "I want you to be happy with me, but I can't make you happy because I can't give you what you want. He makes you happy and I hate that. I don't want you to leave him because I would never want to breakup a family... that's not who I am."
"I just wish that I was different. I wish that I believed in marriage, so that you wouldn't marry that guy and have his child. I wish it was me you came home to. You'll always be the love of my life, Y/N. I screwed up, but I never lied to you. I've done a lot of shit in my life, but loving you and being with you is different. I meant what I said that day when I told you that you're the only woman in my life."
He pulled out his phone and showed you his lockscreen from that night at the restaurant. "See? I never changed it. I'll always love you and it'll stay that way until my last breath."
You stayed quiet. Why was he saying all this?
"I love you. I respect you. I already care about your kid and I haven't even met them. I guess what I'm saying is, something in my gut tells me that we're definitely destined to be together and in some fucked up way, I hope it's true."
"I'm confused." You told him.
"Get married, Y/N. Go. I'm not stopping you. I'm not a cruel person and I know how hard you've worked in planning all this. I know you so well, after all. I'm just saying that one day, I know you'll come back to me."
"What if you're wrong?" You asked. "I love my fiance."
"I know you do. Just not the same way you loved me. Our 9 years wasn't a joke. We're basically married at that point." He smirked. "You deserve a happy marriage, Y/N. I know you're happy."
He stood up and walked to the door. "I just have this terrible gut feeling about that man that I can't shake."
With that, he left the dressing room.
--------
A/N: I planned on smth very angsty, but I couldn't stop typing until it led me to that ending HAHAHAHA
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gub-bins · 12 days ago
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YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY ANY MONEY TO SEE SPACE BABY.
YOU HAVE TO PAY MONEY IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT EARLY, ALL AT ONCE, WITH THE CREATOR TALKBACK. THIS IS A STARKID BUSINESS MODEL THAT HAS EXISTED SINCE 2014, IT IS NOT "BEHIND A SECOND PAYWALL", IT IS A WAY TO GIVE A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY TO THE ARTISTS WHO WORKED ON THE SHOW KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IT IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PILOT AND COULD FLOP.
anyways. hi this is my rant blog so here's the rant
tldr: starkid needs a social media manager, they don't make the youtube residuals or ticket sales profit you think they do, chicago and la are great places to do theatre due to the audiences they draw but they are SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE, capitalism is rotting this country from the inside out and starkid knows this better than anyone
first and foremost:
curt mega is not a legal representative of starkid and he is entirely within his rights to defend misconceptions about the art he makes. he is so respectful to the fandom on here, even apologizing to the confessions blog after accidentally following them because he wants fans to have a safe space where they don't feel like they're being monitored by someone from the company. there is nothing wrong with him trying to assuage people's fears about the show. debunk whatever you want my dude (including if i say anything wrong in this post!)
i am not, under any circumstances, a blind defender of starkid. they've made choices that i do not enjoy in the 15 years that i've been watching them. like i say in this post, i think fans need more notice than a week if there is going to be a livestream we have* to pay money for. i would like a musical that is composed by someone other than jeff or clark. i wish the black friday deluxe download had the digital ticket in it. i wish jangle ball could've come to the actual southeast rather than claiming to be coming to the east coast then hanging out in new york (but as you'll see, that would've cost MONEYYYY). you will notice that these are nitpicky personal grievances. that's the point. im not gonna shell out completely for a group of white guys in LA, no matter how autistic i am about the musicals they make.
as someone who also donated to starkid returns and has also been disappointed to see how long it's taken for this stuff to get off the ground (I absolutely loved cinderella's castle but i would not have minded waiting for it if it meant we got space baby sooner or sissy/ttip. i want to see/read Sissy SO FUCKING BAD)
but think about it. starkid returns made $386,000. a weeklong rental of the El Portal Theatre costs $12,000. so for two weeks of tech thats $24,000. the two weekends of performances were $6,000-7,500 each. it's $7500 per shoot day for a film production. already, that's almost $50,000. Now think about renting film equipment, making costumes, sets, props, paying the cast, crew, theatre technicians, house management, REHEARSAL SPACE RENTAL, we don't know if any of the actors had to be housed in LA while they were working on the show, not to mention getting merch made (FUCKING EXPENSIVE). And that's just on Nerdy Prudes. They also had an entire fucking national tour to fund. i ain't doin the math on every theatre they rented for that tho.
while the 10iversary kickstarter made about $547,000, considerably more than SK Returns, that money went into funding the travel and stay of the fuck ton of people who came to LA for the show, renting the Ace Hotel Theatre, funding Black Friday, and of course the unfathomably expensive Wiggly plushes, which were very kindly restocked what, three or four times? because the FANS kept begging for them. and then after all of that was said and done, the company took a huge hit with the pandemic. Some of the SK returns money probably went into making Workin' Boys too! That's what happens when a global pandemic shuts down all your plans for two years!
i was also surprised to hear that space baby wasn't going straight to youtube. I had it in my mind that it was going to be something similar to Movies, Musicals, and Me. I see now that I was incorrect. It's experimental. It involves SO MANY ACTORS. and not to mention starkid has been doing the digital ticket prior to youtube release thing for YEARS. my main thing is that i would be totally totally fine with having to buy another ticket for space baby (which is only $10 by the way, less than all of their other digital tickets. not to mention it includes the talkback afterwards) if they had only clarified it just a little bit earlier. Nightmare Time 2 was announced on October 8th, 2021 and the first ticketed livestream wasn't until the 23rd. that's two weeks, a whole week longer than we got for space baby. however, im willing to understand that there probably wasn't as much time to announce things/people have been a little bit scrambled lately due to, i dunno, having to evacuate due to the raging wildfire.
unfortunately, people aren't always going to understand that making art is fucking expensive in this day and age. i hate that starkid has to keep reiterating that but it might be smoother if they had a media trained person running the socials who had a prewritten explanation of "making stuff costs money" for the people who don't get it. and then when starkid DOES do stuff for cheap they get taken advantage of. i'm still not over those fuckwads who bought meredith's beautiful handmade coasters at VHSCC and upsold them for three times as much money. the people who bootlegged the black friday digital ticket and posted it online just cause they didn't want to wait the measly 3 months it took for the show to get posted online.
being angry when the person who made the show is looking at the tumblr tag for the show because he wants to see what people are saying about the show he made comes thru to clarify some misconceptions when the tumblr tag is full of people not understanding the starkid business model that's been around since 2014 is not the move. not the move!!!
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thankskenpenders · 3 months ago
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Today we got some news regarding a big change for the Ian Flynn's Q&A podcast, the BumbleKast. As outlined in a blog post by Ian, starting in 2025, all Sonic-related questions submitted to the show will first need to be screened by Sega. (I have to assume this is also why Ian announced they'll no longer be doing live Q&As starting next year.)
Frankly, I can't say this is particularly surprising.
While the BumbleKast is ostensibly a podcast about Ian's work as a freelance writer for all sorts of things, and also just a place for him to shoot the shit about stuff he likes, he's still predominantly seen as The Sonic Guy. Sure, he also does a bunch of other freelance work for other series, and original comics like Drogune, and he's also the narrative mastermind for the whole Rivals of Aether franchise these days, but it's his insights into what goes on behind the scenes with Sonic that people really care about. Your average Sonic fan can't just go up to Iizuka or whoever and ask him a question about the current state of the lore, but Ian's inbox is always open.
Because of this, I've thought a lot about the BumbleKast's place in the fandom and The Discourse in recent years. Ian wants to be as open and honest as he can about his work, and I think that's admirable. To me, hearing about creators' struggles and the shit they go through just to get a story out the door tends to make me sympathize with them more. Sometimes a story just doesn't turn out as well as you'd hoped, but you're on a tight deadline and all you can do is move on to the next project. I've even softened a bit on Penders over the years as he's shared more about the absurd situations and odd creative demands made behind the scenes at Archie. Unfortunately, not everyone has that mindset.
Ian's basically always had obsessive haters who were eager to take everything he says out of context to try and stir up shit, but that used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie comics. Most of the fandom didn't give a shit about what Ian was doing with Sonic and Sally's love life or whatever. Most of the fandom wasn't even reading those comics. But Ian's gone from being a writer for a non-canon spinoff comic, to being the initial lead writer for the first ever canon Sonic comic series, to being the new main writer for the games themselves as part of the official Sonic Lore Team. Way more Sonic fans care about his work now, and when he's so open about his work that makes him an easy scapegoat.
It feels like damn near every week on Twitter Ian's personal trolls have posted yet another BumbleKast clip out of context to rile up the fandom and make it look like he has no idea what he's talking about or like he has some kind of agenda. And, unfortunately, people often fall for this. Of course, it also goes the other way, with people more sympathetic towards Ian taking things he says about Sega and framing them as proof that Sega has no idea what they're doing with the brand. Which, well, let's be real, isn't always the most unreasonable thing to think, given Sonic's rocky history. But I'm surprised it took this long for Sega to start paying more attention to what gets said on the BumbleKast when fans use it so regularly as a source of drama.
I've also often felt that they just need to be WAY more selective about what messages they respond to on the show. Questions Ian can't actually answer due to NDAs, questions that are borderline incomprehensible, "questions" that are really just fan ideas. And the haters, oh, the haters. Ian does not need to put up with angry rants about how he should make SonAmy canon or what the fuck ever. Even if Ian's willing to put up with it, as a listener it can make the show just super unpleasant at times when someone aggressive pops up with an inflammatory question. There have been entire BumbleKast Mini episodes I had to skip because they were just obsessive critics of Ian's paying to grill him on a dozen different things and treat him like an idiot.
But at the same time, I get why the show got to be this way. It's become a part-time job for Ian with multiple new episode a week. Given how piss poor the pay tends to be for freelance writers, I can't really blame him for wanting to keep this secondary stream of income open, and to not have to refund people left and right for rejecting their questions. The man's got bills to pay. (And so does Kyle, for whom managing the BumbleKast seems to have become a full-time job.)
I dunno. The man's got the patience of a fucking saint. I would've quit the franchise if I was in his shoes, with people wishing he would die for shit like minor disagreements over Sonic's characterization or him misremembering an obscure old lore thing. While I do hope that Sega doesn't keep too tight of a leash on him moving forward, and I hope that he's still able to speak his mind about his work, part of me also hopes that having to be much more selective about Sonic questions results in less bullshit like this.
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gublerryswift · 3 months ago
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All these little things pt.1 | Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
fluff <3 The little actions that made Spencer fall in love with you
Warnings: None!
Content: Reader helping Spencer with migraine, friends to lovers but not yet
You joined the team only one year after Spencer, you and him were the youngest on the team and ended up growing really close over time. You two not only bonded over being the same age and sharing experiences, but both of you we're also the biggest nerds to ever walk on the face of the earth. 
It all started when Spencer came to work with a ‘doctor who’ mug that was shaped like TARDIS, it immediately caught your eye, as you were a fan of the show for a really long time and, it only being your third week on the job, you were really looking for a reason to become friends with the team. 
“Spencer, is that a doctor who mug?” You say, approaching his desk and leaning against it to face him 
“Yeah, are you a fan?” He says, looking up at you 
“Of course! I've been watching it since I was a child, i'm obsessed with it. Actually, i am going to need the name of the place where you bought that mug” You smile as you remember the afternoons spent in your childhood home, watching doctor who and eating a mountain of chocolate 
Spencer smiles at you, happy to have someone who shared the same interests as him, maybe, he thought to himself, he would finally have someone to listen to his nerdy rants. 
A month later, you two were already acting as if you've known each other for your entire lives, discovering other shared interests, similar humor and life experiences, you two were perfect for each other. You had gotten close to the rest of the team, but what you and Spencer had was something else, and everybody noticed. 
“Hey, do you want to marathon some documentaries with me? I've been meaning to watch them, but I would love some companion” Spencer says to you, as you both got ready to leave the bullpen 
You're caught by surprise by his invite, you've been meaning to invite him but never gathered the courage to do so, scared that your friendship wasn't at that point yet, you were glad he had asked. 
“Yeah, of course” You smile at him, “What are they about though?” 
His face lit up at the question, clearly excited to tell you about them, you loved how passionate he was about his interests, and you loved to be the one who heard all his rants. 
“Alright, so there's this one, which I think you'll love, that is about the history of music and music genres” 
“Oh, I will love that. Let's go?” You say, holding onto his arm as you two walk to the elevator 
“Ohh and there's also this one about unknown facts of the French Revolution, it's in French and might not have subtitles yet, but I can whisper the translation for you while we watch” 
“Sounds fun, Spence” You giggle at his enthusiasm as you two head to his house 
You two spent the whole night watching the docs and then talked until late at night, he didn't let you grab a taxi that late, so you ended up sleeping at his couch (after arguing a lot, because he wanted to leave his bed for you).  The next morning, he woke up early to make you coffee and breakfast. You spent the rest of the morning together, laughing and talking about random topics. For you that was it, he was now your best friend, and you knew he saw you as such too. 
Now, 5 years later you and Spencer are the closest you've ever been, the sleepovers at each other's houses are basically routine, you two will go on road trips when off of work, share hotel rooms while away on cases, do everything together. With time, both of you started blurring the lines between friendship and something else. It was clear to everyone else that you two felt something for each other, it was even clear to both of you, but neither would ever risk confessing. 
Until, Spencer started noticing these things, little things that you did, and they made him fall so deeply in love with you. Then, there was the moment he knew he had t have you. 
He had been complaining to you about his migraines, the next day you appeared with two drinks in your hand and a bag full of stuff 
“Good morning to you” He told you, smiling at you as you put all the stuff you were holding on his desk
“Good morning spence, I spent like, 3 hours searching stuff to ease migraines and I might have the solution to your problems” You say, pulling out all the things you bought him. 
“You didn't have to do that” 
“Of course I had, you're my best friend and there's no way I'm letting that beautiful brain of yours keep hurting” You smile at him, you really hated to see him in pain, and you knew that migraines had a big effect on his mental health, he always seemed more irritable and sad when he had those. “Alright so, according to my researches' caffeine can help, so this is a black coffee, with very little sugar which I know you hate, but it's for your health so drink it” You hand him the coffee and watch him take a sip and make a frown
“Alright doctor, what else” He's laughing at your serious tone that really makes you sound like you're his doctor, but also his heart couldn't help but flutter at how much thought you had put into helping him get better, how much you cared about him 
“The article also said ginger helps, so I made you ginger tea, which has sugar so that's a win for you, and also a sleep mask because they said that dark helps. Also, you need to start sleeping earlier, you can't keep going to sleep at 4 a.m and expect to be fine” You finished helping – and lecturing – him, with a smile on your face, Spencer tended to close himself off to being helped and taken care of, and you knew how hard that could be so you were happy to help him. 
“Thank you honey” He says, smiling at you 
“You're very welcome spence” You smile back at him and start making way to your way to your desk “... oh, I forgot” you say turning in your heels “Get up” 
“What, why?” His face is confused as he gets up from his seat 
“For this” You hug him deeply, not letting go until a couple seconds have passed “my grandma always says love heals everything”, Spencer's face softens, and he hugs you back. 
He pulls away, still smiling, and says “Thank you”. You both hug again before separating. 
This was it, there was no way he could hide it anymore. Even if it ruined everything, he had to tell you how much he loved you. 
For the rest of the day, Spencer did what you told him to do, even clocking out earlier to try and sleep better. But, throughout the whole day all he could think about was how much you cared for him, how you inadvertently told him you loved him. The next day, his migraine really had gotten better, and he would choose to believe it was you who made it all better and not the ibuprofen he had taken before sleeping. 
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callme-holly · 2 months ago
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okay do this with whatever boy(s) you want but like what abt them x reader who is just like the happiest person ever. they havent lived the prettiest life, its clear, but theyre still so happy, they just find a way to love everything. the way theyre always laughing, the way they point out simple things with just beaming joy. theyll see a random bird and start ranting about how cool it would be to be able to fly like that, how they love birds and how beautiful they are. they see bugs and talk about how pretty they are even if theyre a bit scared of it. they gush about how the grass feels cool at night and the way it gives them goosebumps all with a smile of giddiness at the dark. theres nothing they dont love, and they make sure he see the beauty in everything too, slowly but surely.
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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𝐚/𝐧 : im finally on christmas break y'all!! i've still got quite a lot of requests to get through, but im scatty as hell so please bear with me
Darry Curtis:
Your positive energy is something Darry craves in his life. He’s been through more than anyone should ever have to face, and when he met you, you were like a breath of fresh air. He knows your life hasn’t always been perfect, but neither has his, and you two balance each other out.  After a long day of work, all he wants is to sit on the couch with you curled up beside him, rambling about all the little things in your day that have made you happy. He loves the sound of your laugh, your smile, and the way you move your hands when you talk. He starts to notice things he might not have noticed before and learns to slow down a little and appreciate life as it comes. 
Sodapop Curtis:
You and Soda are a match made in heaven. You’re both such happy, positive people, despite everything you’ve both gone through, and people can't help but envy you both.  The two of you will sit together on the porch and talk for hours about your day, no matter how good or bad it may have been, pointing out all the little things you loved about it. Soda makes it his sole challenge to make you laugh all the time; he just loves seeing you smile. You both see the world from the same point of view, and no matter what it throws at you, you both learn to love every little thing. 
Ponyboy Curtis:
Pony finds your happiness both relieving and fascinating. We all know he can get a little down sometimes, and having someone like you around to pick him back up is something he needs.  Watching the sunsets together is a key part of y'all's routine; you always take the time out of your days to sit together and watch all the colours as they blend into one, appreciating the beauty of nature. Pony will read poems to you when you’re both alone in the house, and you’ll always make an effort to point out the tiny little details, laughing about them and smiling throughout. 
Johnny Cade:
Johnny’s homelife is pretty awful, as we all know, so having someone like you around who is always so upbeat is something he desperately needs. He loves listening to you ramble, and he’ll just nod along as you tell him about all the wonderful little things you saw on your walk. He can’t help but smile whenever you do; he laughs when you laugh. You really help to brighten up his life, and you help him see things a little more positively, even if it’s just for a little while. 
Dallas Winston:
Your positivity probably annoys Dally a little. It’s not that he wants to rain on your parade; it’s just that he can't see what's so good about the world that you need to constantly be talking about it. He always tries to make a snarky comment whenever you start gushing over something small, but the moment he sees your smile, he forgets whatever it is he was going to say. Something about your outlook on life confuses and intrigues him, and he slowly starts to realise it’s not all bad.  He’s not the type to gush about it, but sometimes you’ll catch the subtle things he does to show his appreciation for you: the way his smirk softens when you laugh, the way he pulls you closer when you ramble. 
Steve Randle:
Steve is drawn to your energy like a moth to a flame. He’s home life isn’t grand either, and it amazes him how you manage to find so much good in the tiniest things. He teases you for it, but he loves the way your eyes light up at the simplest things, and he finds himself going out of his way to make you laugh or smile. On his lunch break, he’ll hold you close while you tell him about all the things you’d seen on your way over, and he’ll just chuckle and kiss you softly. Your positive perspective is something he needs desperately, and he finds that time seems to slow down whenever you’re together. 
Two-Bit Mathews:
Two thrives off of your happiness and always manages to return it with the same energy. He loves how you can see the silver lining in almost any situation, and he always finds himself joining in with you as you marvel at the little things in life. Your laugh has him cracking up, and if you’re smiling, so is he. He firmly believes that you light up any room you walk into, and he just helps to keep that light shining bright.  While he’s probably the most positive one of the gang, he’d never taken the time to slow down and appreciate the little things until he met you, and now thats he’s got you, he can’t seem to stop.
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jokingmisfit · 1 year ago
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Never Again.
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Platonic Yandere Metal Family x Reader
Prompt- “It’s midnight! Where the hell were you?”
Notes- Reader is Dee’s twin. No gender mentioned that I remember. Heavy is 13 as in canon and Reader and Dee are 16
Warnings- Reader is injured, Reader was stabbed, Victoria yells at reader, Victoria and Heavy torture people in the living room but we don't talk about that, reader is scared of being seen as weak
The red head ranted and threw items across the room. You didn't pay much mind to the words because you knew whatever you answered wouldn't matter.
Finally the woman, your mother, hovered over you fuming. “It's fucking midnight! Where the hell were you?! Huh?!” She looked expectantly while crossing her arms.
The floor seemed more interesting than the anger or at least that's what you pretended was the case.
“I lost track of time at the library, that's all.” You exasperated.
Finally your father who stayed quiet spoke up. A menacing smile and a tilt to his head. “The library closes at 9.”
Sighing you look up. “I'm friends with the librarians kid she let's us stay as long as we stay in one spot and keep it clean… Normally she let's is know when it's closing time but she got busy and we all forgot.”
“Heh, and you expect us to actually believe you?” Your mom sneered.
“Why wouldn't you?” You asked nervously. “I've never done anything like this, I don't skip school, or get in trouble, or talk back… I made a mistake and I'm sorry.” Your hands shook lightly as you held yourself up. Only glancing at your parents as the seem to boil.
Nothing you said seemed to matter though as you spent the next hour be berated by both your mom and dad. On top you're grounded. 2 weeks. School then home then school then home. Nothing else, nothing more.
It was 1:13 when you finally got back to your room. It didn't make much sense to you how your twin or little brother acted out but you do something wrong once and you get banned from living a life.
At least they didn't find out the truth. Maybe they knew you were lying and that's why they really punished you, but it didn't matter as long as they didn't know what really happened.
Because what really happened will haunt you, and you refuse to let them know how weak you truly are. You would always pride yourself in being independent. While Dee and Heavy leaned on their parents you distanced yourself from them.
You had a job, you had good grades, and as long as no one noticed, you had good health
But of course that's what the big problem was. Bruises from where the men hit you rose across your body. And blood spilled onto your clothes where they slashed at you. The room was dark and your parents didn't see anything, but there were bruises forming on your face.
You were exhausted and you knew if you went to sleep now you might be woken by someone else and they'd see the mess that's been made of you.
You laid for 2 hours in that alley. That's enough sleep right?
Dee opens your door and slinks into your room. He thought you were pouting. He knew you got into trouble last night, but didn't expect what he saw.
If only you could have stayed up.
~~~~~~
You were sitting slouched on the floor book loose in your grip. You had tried staying up, but it clearly didn’t work. Bruises dispersed against your wrists, arms and face. Your tanktop bunched up slightly by your slumped form showing off the bandages delicately wrapped around your midsection.
Dee had made a decision at that moment to let you rest and to figure out what the hell happened to you.
You woke up to chaos. Your eyes were still heavy and blurry. The noises still didn’t quite reach your ears yet. It was the warm palm on your face that had you trying to wake yourself up. Your body was weighed down with pain.
Blinking quickly, large blue eyes and a frown were the first thing you were met with. “Dad?” you choked out, “What- what you doing?”
Your throat burned slightly, but it was nothing compared to the pain in your side. You couldn’t comprehend the fear of your family finding out what happened, you were too drained, too hurt.
“I’m putting you in your bed. You fell asleep on the floor.” Your father says smoothly.
It was disturbing hearing this voice so early. His normal pitch was lowered several octaves and his smile was nowhere to be seen. 
You tried to help by standing, but you were quickly tutted and moved into his arms. Of course you wanted to try, you still didn’t want to seem useless. It was concerning, you could hear your mother hollering in the background.
The worry was overwhelming. Was she angry with you or what happened? Will this change how they see you forever? Are they disappointed? What were you supposed to say?
Breathing deeply you were still held to your dads chest. It took a moment to realize he was in the bed with you. Holding you close to him as you lay on your non injured side.
“What’s happening?” you rasped out. As nice as it was to be held, your mom was upset and he should be with her.
Your dad let out a breath. “Your mother is taking care of some things while I take care of you.”
Humming acknowledgement to him you rested your eyes again.
Of course Glam kept it simple. He didn’t need to tell you he already stitched your side. He didn’t need to tell you that Dee hacked the library cameras and found the men who hurt you, or that the “things” Victoria was dealing with were the men that harmed you. He didn’t need to tell you that Heavy was so upset that he offered to help Victoria deal with these men. He also didn’t need to tell you that Dee was handing in the paperwork to the school for you to be homeschooled and a letter telling the librarian you won’t be coming back.
All you needed to know was you were safe.
And you’ll stay safe no matter what your family has to do. This will never happen again.
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