#as i was writing i realize that there is a whole dynamic to explore with mikasa and her azumabito AND ackerman side

[chimneyz]

the writing for season 8 has kind of been annoying me. the pacing has been off and the character arcs have been, well pretty short in my opinion. if it were me i personally would have character arcs and storyline take up half a season or a whole season. i understand tim likes to write each episode last minute without planning a head but i think this season has proven that is just not the way to go.

before the season started there was some mentioning of hen and chimney having a bit of a strain on their friendship with the whole mara situation, we never got that. the mara storyline (with ortiz and gerrard) should of been a half season thing, it could allow that angst between hen and chimney (which could strengthen their friendship in the end) as well as exploring ortiz as an antagonist and also gerrard shouldn't of had his happy ending. even with the gerrard story we could of had interesting stories with bobby figuring out who he is outside the 118 and could of had a storyline of buck spying on gerrard to get him fired. and going back to the whole mara storyline we could of had some great dynamics to explore with hen chimney maddie and karen. having that arc end in the fourth episode of the season made it rushed.

then we have the athena storyline at the beginning with dennis jenkins and the blackbook which could of made for an interesting storyline for a half season, get to know dennis, him and athena reconciling, athena realizing that he did do the work to be a better man before she arrested him, how they system doesn't always work (especially for the rich and powerful) and gell you can even throw in that rookie and the abusive of power (credit 911 doesn't have the best storylines when it's cop related and do a terrible job at showing how brutal cops are :/)

the eddie accepting himself storyline was way too quick, it was resolved in one episode, that really should of been more of a half season arc. and we really didn't get much of the eddie and christopher arc either and will probably be rushed as well.

i honestly am not sure where they are going to go with for the maddie pregnancy arc but I was suprised on how quick it went with her revealing to chimney that she was pregnant. personally I think it should of been extended to both of them realizing they wanted a second kid, them discussing how to proceed and maybe some internal conflict of being concerned about it all.

then there is the whole bucktommy breakup, if this is really final that they are done there should of been some indication at the very beginning of the season that there are cracks in the relationship. and those cracks should of grown more and more apparent. also, if it's final (i really don't want it to be but who knows at this point) the ending shouldn't of been so open ended (but also how it seems so far is more similar to the third act of a rom com (i also could be very wrong hand have on my clown makeup)).

overall, the storylines and arcs this season have been bothering me, everything feels so rushed and that there has been no growth. do i think that it will stay this way, yeah it will but i just wish for more fleshed out overarching storylines.

[lemongogo]

they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think

[haljathefangirlcat]

Also a shoutout to whoever wrote this very salty episode summary on the RH wiki.

OP, I will literally never be able to thank you enough for exposing me to this.

Robin Hood Rewatch - 3x09: A Dangerous Deal

Sigh.

I mean, where do I even start? I remember this episode being bad, but I’m astounded at how truly terrible it is. Really the most misogynistic trashfire of an episode this show ever had the misfortune to produce.

Ranting ahead. Quite a bit of it.

Continua a leggere

[13uswntimagines]

Safe Harbor II (Alessia Russo X Singer!R)

Request: R and Alessia go to an award show, and just how they handle the whole public outing

Warnings: There are definitely some D/s undertones (and overtones) in this fic. The use of Daddy. Light Smut- not super descriptive, but it's there.

Author's note: This universe is super fun, and I'm going to keep writing in it. Let me know what you'd like to see. I really wanted to explore the difference between when r is submitting and when she isn't because I think the dynamic is fun. There are also a bunch of references to Sunset Boulevard because I love the musical and I think some of the things are fitting.

You sighed, fidgeting with the bow tie that defiantly remained crooked no matter how many times you tugged at it, trying to ignore the city lights glittering off the mirror that took up the entire wall. 

It was gaudy, and unnecessarily flashy in your opinion. Something you would never want in your own home, despite how… useful your stylist claimed it was. You supposed it did have its place, here in the world you did your best to avoid. 

The one you only tolerated because it let you do the thing you loved. 

The one the character you play was far more…comfortable in. 

You blew out another breath, undoing the silky material around your neck and letting it hang over limply across your shoulders. 

It wasn’t that you were… ungrateful. 

You were not. 

You understood how lucky you were. You appreciated the fans more than you could put into words. 

You just didn’t appreciate being paraded around like a circus animal for everyone’s enjoyment. Or an exotic creature to be gawked at. 

It felt like they owned you most of the time now. Like you were just a marionette dancing at the behest of someone else. Your life had turned into a performance. 

That’s pretty much all award shows were. 

Behind the glamorous veneer, they were filled with hollow conversations and forced smiles. While some genuine people like Taylor and Kelsea attended, there was a reason it was called a snake pit. 

It was why you detested them so much, and why you did your best to get out of them. 

Your manager, Pepper, had been very clear though. There was no getting out of this one. Not when you would be the first-ever recipient of the American Music Awards Horizons Award. 

“Let me,”

You blinked at the voice that appeared behind you, and the hands that landed heavy on your shoulders. They relaxed instantly under her touch. 

You hadn’t realized you were staring at yourself in the mirror. 

You dragged your eyes away from the polished version of your form to meet Alessia’s in the mirror. 

There was understanding in the depth of her blue. They made you feel naked, despite the dark blue shirt and silver vest that clung to you. 

She saw beneath the glossy shell of your character. She always had, and you had faith that she always would. 

She tugged gently on the silvery tie laying across your shoulders, the ring that perfectly matched it glinting off of the sharp hotel lights. 

You frowned at the ring, large and gaudy with a rock that sent flashes of light across the room with every movement of her hand. It was not the thin silver band you had slipped on after she said yes. 

You supposed you should be happy that she would keep the real one private between the two of you. Something the fans couldn’t have. 

Still. 

You let out another breath as the tie slid from your skin, and she used gentle pressure to turn you to face her. 

“You’re overthinking this,” She said when your eyes met hers again, as she used a finger to tilt your chin up. 

You hummed at the feeling of her hands brushing your neck in familiar movements, and the careful pressure of the tie. 

You didn't have to voice your thoughts for her to understand, not that you could form coherent words at this moment. 

It was always a… weird headspace for you, the space in between who you were, and who the world expected you to be.

What was making it harder tonight was that it would be the first time Alessia walked with you down the red carpet. Your stylist even had you in matching outfits, as if your arm around her wasn’t enough of an indicator that you were together. 

The whole thing made it nearly impossible to separate the different parts of yourself. 

“Take a deep breath for me,” Alessia said calmly, tightening the silky material around your neck, her gaze never wavering. 

She took an exaggerated inhale, and you did your best to mimic her, your pulse slowing automatically, the gentle lingering of her hands in your skin grounding you with her. 

“You’re not usually this wound for things like this,” She said, her voice soft, curious, but unwilling to push you like she normally would. 

“Sorry,” You mumbled, gaining strength from her steady hands. “I’m just. Sometimes I feel like I’m a piece in someone else’s game. It’s like they own me. I don’t want them to own you too, even though I know your fans are nearly as bad.” 

You could already see the tweets now, talking about the stunning blue dress she was in, and how it perfectly coordinated with the dark blue lapels of your suit jacket. 

They would dissect every interaction between the two of you, from how your hand rested on her waist to every look the two of you shared. 

Alessia’s eyes softened, as she finished the knot of your tie, tightening it just enough so you could feel it, but not enough that it cut off your air. 

It was comforting in a… strange way. Grounding like the collar you wore when the two of you were alone, or the bracelet that was always a part of your wardrobe, no matter how poorly it matched your outfit. 

“I know,” She said finally, and there was something more intimate in the words than the flashy hotel room deserved. Something deep, that belonged only to the two of you. “But they can’t own what they don’t understand,”

Her hands left the tie, moving up to cup your cheeks gently, carefully of the makeup your artist, Pamela, had all but forced on you. “They can’t own what they can’t see,” 

You made a low sound at the implication. 

It was why she was wearing a giant rock on her finger instead of the band you had gotten her. 

They could have that part of her and you, but they couldn’t have this one. 

“They don’t get to own who we are.” Alessia finished, leaning in and placing a very gentle kiss on your lips. “Remind me who you are,” 

You blinked at the feeling of her breath on your lips. 

“I’m Y/n Y/l/n,”

She hummed, kissing you again. “But who are you?”

A shiver ran down your spine at the order. At the reminder of the parts of yourself that she always held like they were precious and fragile. The parts she was fiercely protective of. 

Because even if this… facade belonged to your fans, the parts that really mattered were hers. 

“I’m yours,” You said, the words barely audible in the space between you. “Im yours, always,”

“Exactly,” She hummed, running a thumb gently over the skin below your eye. “And I’m yours too, no matter what ring Selena and Barbra decide to have me wear,”

You made a low sound, coming from deep in your chest, as the final tendrils of tension left your form at her reminder. 

Your relationship wasn’t a one-way street, though that’s what some people would assume if they knew about your dynamic. But the truth was that it was equally give and take. You supported each other and did things together. 

She was as much yours as you were hers. 

It still made you feel warm to hear her say it though. 

You leaned in and placed another kiss on her lips. “Don’t hold anything that happens tonight against me please,”

You didn’t add her title to the end of the sentence, despite how much you longed to. You knew if you did, you would never be able to leave the hotel room. You wouldn’t be able to paint on the face of a superstar. 

“Nothing within reason,” She smirked, pulling away from you. “I know you have a show to put on, but the rules still stand,”

You nodded, knowing that the rules always stood, no matter the setting. 

“Alright, lovebirds.” Your publicist, Tony, said, entering the room with a clap. “Your car is here, and Stevie is getting anxious about the paparazzi out front.”

“We’ll be there in just a moment,” Alessia said, her eyes and her steadying grip never leaving you. 

Tony huffed at the dismissal, settling down on the white sheets of the full bed closest to the bathroom. 

You rolled your eyes, stepping out of Alessia’s grip and grabbing your suit jacket. “You don’t have to babysit us,”

Tony made a low sound. “The last time I left you two alone in a hotel room before an award show you missed the Red Carpet, and Steve made sure I couldn’t sit for a week. I’m not taking a chance this time,”

You slipped the jacket over your shoulders, an easy smirk taking over your features. “It’s not my fault Ms. Kyle and Ms. Gordon always pick an outfit that makes Ms. Russo look so… delectable,”

Alessia couldn’t help but giggle, catching your hand. 

Tony didn’t need to know that she was the reason you hadn’t left for the VMAs on time. That the red and black suit you had worn made you too irresistible. 

“Whatever,” Tony huffed, pushing himself to his feet and leading you to the main room where your security, publicist, and team were waiting for you. 

And as you stepped out, you felt the mask of who you were expected to be slipping firmly into place, whether you wanted it to or not. 

******

You supposed you should be used to the cheering. The screams that followed you everywhere you went. 

The volume still surprised you as the dark SUV pulled up to the beginning of the red carpet, stopping so your door was positioned between two thick, red velvet ropes. 

“Ready?” Alessia asked, gently squeezing your hand. 

You hummed, glancing out the window towards the growing crowd, and the men dressed in dark clothing trying to hold them back. 

“As I’ll ever be,” You said, your voice taking on a quality that didn’t exist in your regular speech. 

You closed your eyes for just a second, taking a steadying breath before you grabbed the door handle and pushed open the door. 

The wall of sound that met you was indescribable, and the million-dollar smile you were known for came easily to your lips. 

You waved toward the crowd of screaming fans, and turned back to the car, extending your hand to help your fiancé out. 

Her fingers were warm as they wrapped around yours, and squeezed gently. 

It was a gesture that would go unseen by the blinding flashes behind you. One that was just yours. 

The fans only got louder as she emerged, her dark blue dress flowing across her curves, complementing the sharp lines of your suit. 

You wrapped your free arm around her waist to steady her, never letting go of her hand. 

“Such a gentlewoman,” Alessia said, her voice just barely audible over the squealing fans and the clicking cameras. 

Your signature smirk got wider, your eyes glinting in the camera flashes. 

“Only for you my darling,” You said in your best impression of Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, your smirk softening when Alessia giggled. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way,” She agreed, leaning in and placing a careful kiss on your cheek. 

The crowd responded immediately, cheering as though it was more than just a kiss on your cheek. You could already see the tweets and Reddit boards looking at every microexpression.  

You hummed, shaking your head, feeling the heat in your skin where her lips had touched you. It centered you as you stepped into the onslaught of people held back only by tiny velvet ropes and security. 

The fans and the paparazzi only got louder as you finally took your first steps on the red carpet. It was like standing too close to a speaker. The cacophony of sound vibrated in your chest, and voices blended together into indistinguishable mush. 

Flashes burned your retinas, never stopping despite you not being in paparazzi ally yet. 

You wished Tony would put up a no flash photography sign for you like they did at the zoo. He would probably laugh and remind you that the circus made no such exceptions for their animals. 

What was worse is that you were used to it. Your face was a commodity to be bought and sold, your attention probably garnering enough cash to last someone for the month. 

You easily navigated the carpet, following Tony as your security buffered you from the public from behind. 

The fans were too far back for you to interact with (you waved anyway, flashing them charming smiles), and you didn’t mind Steve, Clint, Loki, and Thor blocking any cameramen from getting butt shots as you approached the alley line with little Xs. 

You had a split second to breathe while the paparazzi focused on Hayley hitting the final X with Josh before one of the workers held up a sign with your name, and the yelling re-started. 

“Y/n, Alessia this way please,” The attendant said, directing you to the first x. 

You wrapped your arm around Alessia’s waist, pulling her close to you as you took the spot they wanted. You painted your famous million-dollar smile across your features and unwillingly dragged your eyes away from Alessia. 

The barrage of camera flashes was overwhelming, and the calls for your name blended together in a cacophony that would deafen even the most narcissistic of people. 

“Y/n to your left,”

“How about a kiss?”

“Alessia on your right,”

“Show us that ring,”

Your smile turned slightly more cocky, as Alessia’s left hand found the center of your chest, flashing the rock on her finger as she leaned in and pressed a kiss on your cheek. 

It was different than the private one you had shared. 

The kiss just spurred you on, your eyes twinkling with amusement as Tony gestured for you to move to the next X. You caught Alessia’s hand on your chest, bringing it to your lips, seamlessly showing off the expensive ring on her finger before you guided her to the next spot, your fingers running gently over the embroidery on the silky material of her dress. 

“Y/n here please!” The photographers yelled as you got set, and you tired your famous smirk toward the sound. 

“Alright Mr. Demil, I’m ready for my closeup,” you winked at the cameras as the clicking rapidly picked up, and you heard several chuckles from behind the cameras. 

Alessia also chucked from beside you, resting her hand on the center of your chest as the two of you posed again. Your arm tightened around her waist, your fingers tapping her hip gently just out of the view of the cameras. 

The two of you stood there for another long second, looking every bit the power couple you were portraying, before Tony gestured for you to move to the x. 

You squeezed her hip as she turned, leaning close to her ear. “Least I didn’t have to murder anyone to get their attention,” 

“No,” Alessia agreed with another giggle, aware that her response was visible to the crowd. “I guess that’s what happens when you’re a pop star instead of an old silent movie actor. Though your acting is quite good,”

You grinned widely, as you made it to the final X and she turned to face you. “It’s easy when I have you on my arm,” 

She hummed, a bit of red spotting her cheeks, and your grin turned quite wolfish as you tightened your arm around her to draw her closer for the final set of photos. 

“You’re just so ravishing,” You said, far enough away that you knew the cameras would capture it. “Isn’t she?”

You directed the last question at the men behind the cameras, and the clicking of the cameras increased. You didn’t add that their chuckles and cheering didn’t bother you because you knew that Alessia was yours as much as you were hers. 

Alessia hummed again, having expected you to do that. You were never shy with your admiration when you were in public. 

You leaned close to her ear again. “So ravishing that I can’t wait to eat you up,”

“I might just give you a chance later,” She laughed, pushing your chest very lightly. You pulled back with another cheeky grin, wiggling your eyebrows. 

“Alright lovebirds, that’s enough,” Tony said after several seconds, stepping in between you and the cameras, and gesturing you off the final X as the cameras all turned to whoever was going to be taking the alley behind you. “Reporter Row is next, but you only have to make a couple of stops so you’re not late to your seats,”

“Just Call Her Daddy and the slow-mo guy right?” You asked as you guided Alessia to a part of the carpet between 2 walls, hidden from view, and your security team created a little pocket around you. “And I want to say hello to the fans,” 

“Yes,” Tony nodded, looking over his shoulder at the line of media outlets standing less than 3 feet apart from each other. “I’ll keep the rest away from you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded once, leaning into Alessia’s hand that was still on your chest for a long second. 

It didn’t matter how many times you participated in Red carpets, how many times you were trotted around like a show pony in this parade of excess, it never got any less overwhelming. 

You took a deep breath before you let Tony guide you forward, your million-dollar smile taking over your features once more. 

You waved at the reporters as Tony directed you past them, only stopping for the slow-motion camera (dipping Alessia in the photo) before you were standing in front of Alex Cooper. 

“And here is the couple that everyone is talking about. You both look absolutely stunning,” She said, smiling too widely with an easy wave of her hand. “how does it feel to be here at the AMAs,” 

“Thanks, It’s great,”  you matched the expression, tightening your arm around Alessia’s waist. “The fans have been amazing so far and I’m very excited to get to see the performances tonight. Plus any time I get to spend with my gorgeous fiancé is amazing,” 

You winked at the camera and placed a very sweet kiss on Alessia’s cheek. Both women giggled, and Alessia ran her thumb over the back of your hand. 

“And you’re receiving the very first Horizons Award,” Alex pushed on, knowing she had a very limited time with you. 

You nodded, your expression turning serious. “I’m very very honored, though I think the spotlight should really go to the people doing the hard work like folks at the Trevor Project and GLAAD,” 

Alex nodded. “You’re also performing tonight. Any spoilers you can give?” 

You hated how quickly she moved on from the topic you actually cared about. The topic that could actually help other people. 

But you didn’t show it on your face. Instead, you let your features turn mischievous, meeting Tony's eyes off to the side. “You know I don’t like to give away my secrets,” 

It was a silent signal that you could handle this yourself. That the slight podding wasn’t an invasion you needed him to deal with. 

Alex chuckled, holding her little microphone out to Alessia. “What about you Alessia, anything you can say?” 

“I actually haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure it’ll be fantastic,” Alessia said and you turned your entire attention to her. 

You were sure that there would be memes of the way your expression immediately softened, or how she had all of your attention the second she spoke, but you didn’t care. 

Alex shook her head in mock disappointment. “Well, I’ll let you two go, good luck tonight,” 

You blinked back toward Alex, smiling brightly once again. “Thanks,” 

Then you let Tony guide you away, keeping a protective hand on Alessia’s waist as you headed towards the arena, and you felt your shoulders relax. 

The hardest part of the night was over. 

*****

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you made it to your seats in the front row, with Haylee and Josh on your right and Taylor and Travis on your left. 

You supposed they wanted to keep all of the footballers together so they had something to talk about while their significant others were stuck being exhibited on stage. 

“What’s your color?” Alessia asked, gently squeezing your knee as the show went to commercial break. 

You hummed at the all too familiar, catching her hand and intertwining your fingers. So far the show had been… bearable.

There were a couple of good performances, and you had won 3 awards. There were also minimal jokes from the host directed at you and your fiancé, which you appreciated. 

You were feeling good. You were feeling in control. 

“Green. Are you enjoying the show?” you asked, leaning in close to her in case one of the online fan cams was trained at you. 

She nodded. “The performances have been very good. I really liked Luke’s,”

You grinned wider. Luke Combs had done a mashup of Beautiful Crazy and Forever After All, both of which were songs that you had helped pen. “It’s funny you’re marrying me when you're such a sap for country music,”

Taylor gasped to your left, leaning around Travis to playfully glare at you. “Are you making fun of country music over there?” 

You turned a mischievous smirk on her. “No. I would never,”

She rolled her eyes dramatically at you. “Pop music is just glorified county you know?” 

And you couldn’t help but smile at the pompous tone. 

“Maybe country music is just slow pop music,” You shrugged, matching her tone. 

“I’m confused by what’s happening,” Travis said over your head towards Alessia. “Do they do this frequently?”

Alessia couldn't hold her giggle anymore. “Since they met. You would think that neither of them writes country music,” 

“Oh,” Travis said, turning a slight shade of pink. 

This wasn’t your first time meeting him, but it was his first time attending one of these with Taylor, and you could tell he was nervous. 

You leaned back into Alessia’s side, just as the lights flashed, indicating that the show would be back in 30 seconds. “I’m glad you liked Luke’s performance,” 

“And I’m going to love yours too,” She said, and you made a low sound. 

You were most nervous about what she would think of what you had planned. The performance that you had been working on for weeks. 

Her opinion was the only one that mattered to you after all. 

The lights flashed again, in the 10-second warning and Tony materialized in front of you. “Hey kid, I need to steal you,” 

“Go be amazing,” Alessia said softly, pushing you gently to your feet. 

You sighed, eyes darting back to you when she gently tapped your ass as you stood, and she looked the picture of innocence. 

Travis was coughing to hold in his laugh from the other side, and Taylor was smirking. 

You rolled your eyes and let Tony drag you away, though Taylor did catch your eye as you left, sending you an easy nod. 

At least you knew that Alessia would be entertained while you were gone. 

*****

Alessia could understand why you despised award shows as much as you did. 

You had disappeared 45 minutes ago, and your seat had been filled by a random stranger only there to make the arena look full. There were more commercials than performances or actual show. 

Though it was nice to talk to Taylor and Travis, it was inherently boring and slightly unnerving because of all of the cameras. 

The announcer kept mentioning that you were coming up or up next, and really Alessia didn’t think anyone needed more suspense. 

And then Taylor was whisked away by Tree, and the lights were flashing, and she knew that it was finally time. 

Taylor stepped out onto the stage with a brilliant smile, walking to the front. 

“As artists, we have incredible platforms. We have fans that stretch around the globe, and our next performer has gone above and beyond to give each and every one of them a voice,” Taylor said. “From raising more than 600 million dollars for charities like the Trevor Project to granting more wishes this year than anyone else, all well releasing an album that stood at number one for a record 29 consecutive weeks, she is the embodiment of what a star should be. That is why she is this year’s recipient of the Horizons Award. I’m honored to welcome my friend, Y/n Y/l/n,”

The stage shifted, the side Taylor was on was going dark while the curtain lifted on the other, revealing you standing in a spotlight. 

You weren’t dressed in the suit she had last seen you in. Instead, you were in a white shirt, suspenders, and Khakis, and you were barefoot. 

You took a big deep breath, your shoulders moving with it as the opening piano notes of the song started, and Alessia felt her own breath catch in her throat. 

It was when the party’s over.

You looked up at the crowd and started to sing. 

At first, Alessia thought that this was going to be the performance. Just raw and painful. Completely vulnerable. 

But off to the side, another spotlight shined, showing a dark-haired woman in a white flowy dress that had yellow around the bottom, matching your kakies. She danced towards you, the dress billowing around her ankles as she twirled. 

She touched your shoulder and you melted into her, catching her hand and beginning to dance. 

Alessia’s breath caught. The world had never seen you dance before. Not like this. 

There was a lot of push and pull. Moments where the dancer would hold you close and others where she would shove you away. With every movement, your perfectly pressed clothing became disheveled, one suspender dropping, several buttons of your shirt coming undone and your always immaculate hair going very messy. 

The two of you flowed together in a beautiful story of pain and disappointment. 

It was… indescribable, and Alessia and the entire arena were entranced. 

She could feel herself leaning forward as you got to the bridge. 

You twirled the dancer, pulling her close so your foreheads touched and your lips were nearly brushing. It was intimate and stunning, but Alessia didn’t feel jealous. 

Let’s just let it go

Let me let you go

You breathed heavily, the sound echoing around the arena, as everything stopped. 

Quiet when I’m coming home and I’m on my own

The dancer pulled backward, walking away from you, and you left your arm out, fingers stretched as she disappeared off stage as if you were calling her back. 

Suddenly you were alone again, stuck in the spotlight. 

And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

Your voice faded out and the stage went dark.

Everything was silent for a long second before the crowd erupted around her, people pushing themselves to their feet as the lights came back on. You ran your hand through your messy hair, pushing it back as you bowed to the standing ovation. Your eyes roamed the crowd, finally landing in Alessia. 

Your head tilted at her in acknowledgment, like you were asking ‘What’d ya think?’ in the stupid southern accent you sometimes affected to make her laugh. She nodded. 

Words could not describe how proud she was.

Her chest welled up with pride. With awe until it was practically overflowing. She felt lucky that she knew you. That she got to love you. Even the parts of you that you didn’t like to talk about. 

She sent you a kiss, and you caught it, sliding it into your pocket with a wink. And then with a blink, the mask of your character was sliding back into place as your fingers briefly ran over the braided bracelet that never left your wrist. 

Taylor approached you with a crystal trophy, passing it to you with a hug and words only you could hear whispered in your ear. 

You nodded as you pulled away, saying something back with a cheeky smile. Alessia knew there would be lip readers all over TiK Tok later trying to decipher the exchange. 

And then you turned back to the audience, looking out over the crowd like you were royalty surveying your kingdom, your eyes twinkling as they continued their ruckus applause. 

You waited another long second before you held up the crystal trophy reminiscent of how Alessia had helped hoist the Euros trophy, before you took another bow and then were gone, disappearing backstage with Taylor. 

She wasn’t sure how you got out of your speech, but she guessed Tony would release one for you later.

“That was fucking incredible,” Travis said as they retook their seats. “How does she sing that high and dance at the same time?”

Alessia dragged her eyes away from where you had disappeared. “She does a lot of breath training,”

Travis nodded like that answer was sufficient, just as Tony appeared in front of them again. 

“Do you want to go backstage? I'm not sure if Y/n will be coming back out,” He said softly. “The show is almost over anyway,”

She met his gaze, seeing the message that he hadn’t said out loud. The worry hidden in brown eyes. It was familiar in a slightly unnerving way. 

You were always the consummate professional, brushing off concern with ease and navigating situations that put you on edge without a hair out of place. 

You would push through because that is what the Hollywood machine expected from you, even in your most vulnerable moments, and no one would know the difference. 

You were excellent at pretending until you weren’t. 

She knew from just one look that one of two things had happened: you had asked him to come get her or he had seen you struggling and done it himself. 

“Sure,” She said, letting him help her up. “It was nice meeting you,”

She directed it toward Travis who nodded in return.

“Taylor should be out in a few minutes,” Tony said toward the man before he led her away. 

She didn’t look back to see his response, staying very close to Tony as he led her out of the row. 

Clint took up her back the second they made it to the aisle. 

She didn’t ask Tony if you were ok, though she wanted to. She would just have to wait and see for herself. 

******

Your fingers curled against the wooden counter of the makeshift vanity, as you leaned all of your weight forward. 

You closed your eyes and did your best to focus on your breathing. 

You were ok. 

It didn’t make sense for you not to be. 

Your performance had gone off without a hitch. You had accepted your award and not made yourself look like a total idiot. 

So why was there a boa constrictor around your lungs?

Maybe it was how claustrophobic the little changing room they had given you was. Maybe it was the fake smiles and handshakes you had received from everyone except for Taylor.

You tried to pull in more oxygen, but it felt like you were sucking air through a straw. 

You shook your head, forcing your eyes to meet themselves in the mirror (adamantly ignoring the gleaming award sitting next to you), knuckles turning white as you tried to ground yourself in the moment. 

They were wide, terrified with pupils blown wide like you had taken too much of your ADHD medication. 

What the fuck was happening to you?

You tried to force another breath through your lungs, sucking in deeply through your nose and pushing it out your mouth. 

It shouldn’t be this hard. 

You didn’t even blink when the curtain that separated your small changing room from the hallway was slowly pulled aside. 

You didn’t have to. You already knew that the only person Steve and Natasha would let through was your fiancé. 

“Hey,” She said, stepping up behind you and placing a very careful hand on your shoulder. “Tell me your color,”

Her voice was soft but twinged with the edge of command that never failed to make you melt. She wasn’t asking you where you were at, she was ordering you to tell her. 

It took a moment for the question to filter past the roaring in your ears, and the rapid beating of your heart. It took another for you to assess what you were feeling. 

You knew you could just say yellow, the blanket term for caution, but you also knew you had a plethora of other options. Ones that reached past the traditional stoplight system to be more descriptive. Ones that made it easier to put your emotions into words- something you had always struggled with. 

You swallowed hard, reaching for a color that you hardly ever used outside of the bedroom, and even then you had only used it once. “Orange, I think,” 

Alessia’s hand tightened on your shoulder, but her expression didn’t change. 

Orange meant anxious. More than anxious really. It meant trapped. Too confined. Too constricted. 

It meant on the wrong edge of panic, but not far enough gone to be red. 

“Ok,” She said, her voice even, calm. A complete contrast to how you felt. “Can I come closer?”

It was probably a strange question considering that the changing room was so small that she had to be within a foot of you to be inside, but you appreciated the thought (likely born from the last time where you had pulled the quick-release cord on the rope harness Alessia had crafted and hadn’t wanted any contact for almost an hour). 

You nodded. 

You wanted her touch. You craved it, and a part of you knew it would be the only thing that would help you breathe again. 

“Words my little one,” Alessia prompted you softly. 

You nodded again. “Yes, please,”

She moved immediately, dragging her hand across your shoulders as she stepped behind you, and down your arm to rest on your wrist just above your bracelet while the other slid across your abs. You didn’t even remember undoing your shirt. 

Her chin hooked over your shoulder as she pulled you back into her, pressing her lips very gently to the skin under your ear. 

“Breathe with me,” She said, taking an exaggerated breath in, her chest expanding against your back. 

You did your best to copy her, even if it made your chest ache. 

It took several minutes, but eventually your stuttered, shaking breaths steadied, and you relaxed in her arms. 

“Good girl,” She hummed when she felt you settle into her, placing a very gentle kiss by your ear. “Better?” 

“Better,” You agreed. “Thank you,”

“Always,” She said, her fingers tapping gently on your abs. “Your performance was incredible by the way. I’m so proud of you,”

“Really?” You asked, your voice going soft, and an insecurity you didn’t let anyone by Alessia see creeping into your tone. 

“Yes,” She promised, her lips tickling your ear. “You were spectacular. You had everyone on the edge of their seats, including me,”

You leaned back into her, your head tilting to give her more room. “Thank you,”

It could be considered strange sometimes, how your need for physical touch changed after anxious moments. How sometimes you shied away from it and needed space to ground yourself. Other times you needed it desperately to bring yourself back down to earth. 

It could be considered strange how…quickly you could go from one end of the spectrum to the other. But it had always been that way.

You could tell that she was trying to gauge your mood by the way her hand splayed low on your stomach, shifting just enough so her pinky was brushing the waist of your khakis. Silently asking if you needed more contact. 

Your breath caught in your throat as her lips turned to your exposed neck, her teeth gently grazing the skin. 

“What is your color,” She asked you seriously, and you held in your groan at the tone. 

“I’m ok,” You said, fighting to keep your voice even, and your body still (one of the rules that existed when the two of you did things like this). “Want more,”

She hummed, but her hand didn’t move and her lips completely detached from your neck. “That isn’t what I asked you. Tell me your color,”

You met her eyes in the mirror, a shiver running down your spine at the icy blue you found there. 

You knew what she was really asking you. 

It wasn’t just about if you wanted to go farther. She was making sure you were still present. That you were there enough to consent. That you weren’t just doing what you thought she wanted you to do. 

You swallowed, working through what you were feeling, rolling through the more descriptive menu of colors you had to choose from. 

“Amber,” You decided. One of the colors that was in between green and yellow. The one that told her you couldn’t deal with anything heavy or teasing, but that you were coherent and most importantly able to consent. 

She hummed, her lips returning to your neck, and her hand glided further down your abs. “That’s what I thought too,” 

You couldn’t stop the low groan that left your lips when her hand slid past the waist of your Khakis, or when her thumb began to toy with the hem of your boxers. 

“You did so well tonight, my little one,” She said into your ear. “I’m so proud of you. Let me take care of you now,”

You let your head fall back completely on her shoulder, as her hand finally dipped into your boxers and her teeth gently joined her lips at the sweet spot on your neck. 

Her fingers were gentle as they walked down the front of your groin until they landed between your lower lips. 

She didn’t immediately go for your clit, choosing to dip lower between your legs instead. 

A shiver went down your spine when she ran through you, making a low sound just below your ear. 

“You’re wet,” She said, the words tickling your ear. “Is this for me, little one?”

You swallowed hard. “Always for you,”

Her teeth nipped at your ear. “For who?”

“You Daddy,” You murmured. “Always for you,”

It was true. You had been ready for her as soon as you saw her in her dress. 

Selena and Barbra knew that blue was your favorite color on her because of how it brought out her eyes. They knew you were obsessed with the feeling of silk and satin. 

They had known what they were doing when they chose your outfits, and not just in the sense of what the fans would think. 

She hummed, her fingers slowly dragging through you. “And to think all of those people out there think it’s for them,”

“Not for them,” You said, shaking slightly as a finger slipped inside. “Your daddy,”

“I know,” She agreed, her voice soft, soothing despite the harshness of her teeth on the soft skin of your neck, no doubt leaving a dark mark you would have to cover later. 

Or maybe you wouldn’t cover it. 

That was a decision that could be made later. 

“You performed so well. You’re so good,” Alessia repeated, as she finally began to move, a second finger joining the first after only a few thrusts. “Now let daddy reward you,”

She shifted so her palm grazed your clit with every movement as she picked up the pace. 

The pressure was perfect but it wasn’t enough, even with her fingers curling against your inner walls. 

As if reading your thoughts, Alessia’s free hand moved. It trailed up your arm to under your chin, cupping your neck, the warm metal of her ring pressing into your skin. 

She didn’t apply enough pressure to cut off your air, just enough for you to know her hand was there. Enough for the pressure to ground you. To prove that she was there. 

You sucked in a sharp breath, melting back into her. 

“That’s it, my good girl,” Alessia crooned, her mouth never leaving the abused skin just under your ear. “You’re doing so well for me,”

You were good. 

You were doing well.

You could feel yourself rising higher, the coil in your tummy pulling tighter. You knew what was coming, the sweet release that would wipe every thought from your brain. 

“Please,” You breathed out, feeling a smile curl on the lips against your neck. 

She hummed as if considering the request. 

The rational part of your brain knew that she wouldn’t string you along like she sometimes loved to do, not with the color you had given. The rational part of your brain knew she wouldn’t ruin the orgasm threatening to crash over you like she enjoyed when you were both bored at events. 

She wouldn’t make you wait when neither of you had agreed to play a game tonight. 

But the rational part of your brain wasn’t in control right now. 

“Cum for me little one,” She said after a long second, her pace never changing, the hand on your throat squeezing just a bit. 

But that was all it took. 

Your eyes rolled back in your head, and you felt the hand on your neck move to form a seal over your lips, stopping any sound from leaving you. 

Alessia kept up her movements, working you through your orgasm, and supporting your weight as you went nearly boneless against her. 

“Good girl,” She said, slowing her hands as the final aftershocks rocked through you. “Always my good girl,”

You groaned low, your eyes opening to meet her smoldering blue in the mirror and her hand fell away. “Say it again please,”

“You are my good girl,” She repeated, keeping eye contact with you, carefully removing her hand from your core. “And I’m so proud of you,”

She brought her fingers to your lips, and you accepted them without question, sucking greedily at her skin until it was clean.

She pulled them from your lips with a chuckle. “I take it you’re feeling better?”

“Yes,” You agreed, leaning back into her. “I don’t know what happened. I got off stage and it was like I couldn’t breathe,”

“Well, you went from a very emotional performance, which was breathtaking by the way, to winning a massive award,” Alessia reasoned gently. “That’s a lot of emotional bandwidth to handle,”

You made a low noise. “It’s always coming down that’s the hardest,”

“I know,” Alessia hummed, kissing very gently just below your ear.

“You helped,” You continued.

“I will always help you,” Alessia promised fiercely, and you believed her. “Are you ready to get changed so we can get out of here?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

But you made no move to leave her arms.

You were too comfortable to move, wrapped in her safety, and she let you stay there for a few more minutes before she carefully unbuttoned the two buttons left on your shirt, and did the zipper on your pants. 

You didn’t remember her unbuttoning those, but then again you were a bit… distracted. 

She pulled away as she dragged the shirt from your shoulders, dropping it unceremoniously on the makeshift table next to your Horizons award. You slid your pants down and turned to face her. 

“Selena dropped off my after outfit,” You gestured towards the garnet bag sitting in the chair behind her. 

Alessia undid the zipper, pulling out another blue suit, this one more plain than the first.

“I think she knew how this night would end,” Alessia said, passing you the extra pair of boxers Selena also included in the bag. 

You hummed, swapping the boxers. “Perhaps we’re getting too predictable,”

“Or our stylists just know us too well,” Alessia countered, holding out a black button-down for you. You slipped your arms through the sleeves and stepped closer to her so she could do up the little snaps. “And changing our… routine doesn’t exactly appeal to me,” 

“Me neither,” you agreed, taking the pants when she was finished and thanking the universe that there was elastic around the waist. You tucked your shirt into them and pulled on the dark blue vest that matched. “Will you help with the tie?”

“Of course,” Alessia rolled her eyes, pulling the blue silk out of the garment bag. “Come here my love,”

Your nose scrunched involuntarily at the nickname she had chosen, but you straightened and stepped closer to her.

“What’s with the face?” She asked, lips ticking up as she placed the tie around your neck. 

You shrugged, looking away slightly, red bleeding into your cheeks. “I like the other nickname better,”

“Which one?” She questioned, using a thumb to move your chin so you were looking at her again. “My little one or my good girl,”

A shiver ran down your spine as she repeated the nickname. 

It wasn’t the one she usually went to, because you didn’t usually enjoy it. But tonight was different. 

Something about it felt… right. 

“Ah,” Alessia said, reading your expression. “Keep your chin up so I can do your tie, my good girl,”

You let out a low sound but kept your chin tilted up. 

It only took her a second to do the knot, straightening the bow so it was centered. “There, good as new, and gorgeous as ever,”

The red on your cheeks bled down your neck and up toward your ears. “Thank you,”

“Always, my good girl,” She said, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “Do you want the jacket too?”

You shook your head. “Why don’t you wear it? It’ll look smashing with your dress,”

“It is a bit chilly in the hall,” Alessia reasoned, and you leaned around her to grab the soft material, holding it for her. 

She turned and you draped it over her shoulders. 

“Perfect,” You murmured, your fingers lingering on her shoulders.

There was something incredibly sexy about seeing her draped in something that was yours. You wondered if this was how she felt when she saw you wearing the braided bracelet (or your collar), or when she wrapped you in intricate knots or left dark bruises just under your chin. 

It was how you felt when you saw the real ring on her finger. 

“Enjoying the view?” Alessia asked, raising a perfect eyebrow at you. 

You blinked at her, not realizing she had turned to face you again. More heat joined the flush already in your cheeks.

“Always,” You said, your eyes crinkling with your smile. “You’re still as ravishing as ever,” 

“Let’s go before we end up here all night,” Alessia hummed, holding her hand out for you. “You might want to run your hand through your hair,”

“I think it’s adequately messy,” You shrugged. “The fans will enjoy every hair being perfectly out of place, and I’m going to put on a beanie once we get to the car,”

“Wouldn’t want them to see your favorite disguise,” Alessia said, as you took her hand. 

You wiggled your eyebrows. “No. Then I wouldn’t be able to sneak into arsenal games undetected,”

“You mean it wouldn’t allow you to get mobbed at games because your disguise is never good enough for general admission,” Alessia corrected, moving toward the curtain of the dressing room. 

“That was once,” You huffed. Alessia raised her eyebrow at you.

“Fine, twice,” You conceded with a wave of your free hand as she pulled you out of the changing room. 

“Try 6,” Tony said, as soon as you stepped into the bustling hallway. 

You didn’t ask how he knew what you were talking about. You didn’t have to. 

You knew your privacy wasn’t really private. Especially not here, even if you wanted to pretend it was. 

“More like 8,” Steve intoned, stepping away from his spot guarding the entrance to the little makeshift room. “You have a bad habit of ending up in places you shouldn’t be without enough security,”

You shrugged. “Yelena and Natasha are plenty,”

“Together, yes,” Steve sighed, as Clint appeared behind him. “Not when you only take one or the other,”

You rolled your eyes, stepping closer to Alessia, and wrapping your free arm around her lower waist. “Details,”

Alessia hummed, noting the change in your demeanor, her eyes drifting up to see the cause (a little black camera on the ceiling further down the hall). 

“Shall we go, darling?” You asked, again imitating Norma Desmond. “The cameras are waiting, Ms. Russo,”

Alessia nodded, squeezing your hand. “Yes, let's go home. I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to,”

“Ah yes,” You agreed, wiggling your eyebrows. “I still need to get my taste,” 

Alessia and your security laughed, though there was a glint of something very familiar in your fiance’s eyes. Something that told you that this night was far from over. 

Something that told you she would be… claiming you as soon as you were away from prying eyes. 

Something that told you this night would be ending with something just between the two of you. 

Something that was yours that the outside world couldn't take away from you. 

“Don’t worry, my good girl,” Alessia murmured, pulling you close. “You’ll get all the tastes you can handle,”

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri, inviting myself with a question. AceYuu, JadeYuu, RolloYuu. Favorite Tropes and Why?

Hello Sayo, nice to have you drop on in, have a seat. That's a sort of difficult question ( • - • ) … I think one of the main reason I like these three ships so much is my favorite thing to write is requited unrequited love, and there's a bunch of good chemistry to work that into these three guys. I like exploring the pining and denial stage of love, but there are some differences with each ship I like to explore.

AceYuu is friends to lovers to me. They just exemplify what I want out of a ship like that, there's a genuine friendship underneath everything that's built on mutual respect and affection that just isn't with some other pairings. I like exploring it from Ace's pov especially because I see him as someone who already has a good grasp on what it means to be a good and loyal friend, but is utterly powerless when it comes to genuine romantic love. He's got no idea what to do with himself other than continue to be Yuu's friend, not fully realizing that's the best foundation for a relationship. I like making Yuu a bit more accepting of their own romantic feelings but not of their place in Ace's heart. Jenny Studio Killers ship my beloved.

JadeYuu is Yuu falling first and Jade falling harder. The line I throw around about Jade finding Yuu boring at first isn't something I made up, it's his vingette level up line. "Oh no I don't think that now." He says with a smirk because he doesn't, but he does not really know what he thinks about Yuu so he doesn't give a concrete answer. Fun he supposes, he likes watching you move through the world. It's similar to how Floyd interacted with things at first, but he doesn't really like the idea of comparing you to Floyd... just what is this strange feeling? He thinks he likes it vs Yuu who took one look at Jade and that smile, that damned smile. You were in love from day one and a bit upset that your bad taste in men had followed you to a different world. But while you are busy trying to get over your feelings Jade is starting to realize his and once he does good luck getting away. He's intense, desperate, and so much deeper in love than you ever thought he could be. If you don't get married right this instant he thinks he might actually die, he's that down bad. And super pathetic about it too.

RolloYuu is love at first sight. I like fatal/doomed attraction with them too, just Rollo being in love with Yuu and Yuu being in love with Rollo but the timing is wrong. The circumstances are wrong, Rollo is maybe the one guy who genuinely wishes he was born in your world and would follow you there without hesitation (the original ending to my long fic had him doing just that) but is that really what would be best for him? I like writing him as obsessed with Yuu, and Yuu as knowing it is wrong to be enamored by that but they're just so tired of everything they want to stay with him. It's much more simple than the other two ships I should write for them a bit more... oh I've also found I really like writing them as childhood friends in my ayuus. It's a dynamic that sort of works with that whole doomed love at first sight thing, for me anyway.

[tocomplainfriend]

HAZBIN AND SA (+HB)

TW: SA and RAPE

THIS ITSELF DOESN'T TALK ABOUT THE SCENE! But the surrounding context.

So I really hate everything about how this has being treated. I am a SA victim and wanna talk about some stuff. If you didn't know, in episode 4 (I think) there is an exploration of Angel Dust SA, before going to do that lets see some stuff first:

She made a "cumming" joke about the song Poison (that accompanies the SA scenes)

This person over here worked on HH/HB (draws r-pe/non-con)

BLURRED AND CUTTED IMAGES: (Some are more or less explicit)

You know, that whole thing of shipping, and drawing porn of the canonical sexual abuser with the victim?

They also left this comment, under a comic where Val threatens brutal r-pe on Angel.

This person also worked in/directed the scenes of Angel dust Sexual abuse in the episode. The person that ships a r-pe ship and does all this shit is the one to work in this scene?????

ALSO????

Like??????? What happen here?

Also...

(The pinkie pfp person is 15 here too)

Why does Angel sexually harrases Husk non-stop (which is acknowledged by Vaggie)? Why is Moxxie SA by the succubus played for laughs? Same with Chaz or Blitz harassing him sexually or touching him without consent? Why did Stolas do so many unwanted advances towards Blitz, and that's literally the endgame couple of the show? (All of this are jokes, or by the Husk x Angel shit "ship moments"

WHY THIS TOO?

And yes you are "correct", something like Hypersexuality Trauma-should not being shamed. You are not a bad person, for dealing with this. BUT HEY, that doesn't mean you get to sexually harass people like Angel does to Husk or anyone.

Also, the problem is not having an SA victim's story. The problem is how it is treated and all the context that surrounds it. All of this above is that context! Why is so much SA jokes in Helluva? Why is that funny? You want to tell a story of SA, and anyone calling out the problems with it is deleting victims feelings and stories... YOU AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING JOKES DO THAT ALREADY. WHEN SA IS A JOKE FOR YOU, YOU ARE DIMINISHING SA AND R-PE.

There are also a lot of random fans saying that "Viv is an SA victim too"- #1 Where the fuck did she say that, cause you randomly saying that she said it doesn't mean shit. #2 DOESN'T DELETE THE WAY SA HAS BEING TREATED! THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MAKING A JOKE AS AN SA VICTIM ABOUT YOURSELF- SHE/AND OTHER IN THE TEAM ARE WRITING CHARACTERS GETTING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AS THE JOKE. -OR NOT UNDERSTAND LEGIT POWER DYNAMICS AND THE GROSS THING THAT STOLAS DOES TO BLITZ. OR THE LITERAL "SHIP COMPILATION" THAT IS PURELY ANGEL SEXUALLY HARASSING HUSK.

"Is important to represent SA survivors stories- specially men who-" BROTHER ALL YOUR OTHER MALE CHARACTERS SEXUALLY HARRASS/ASSAULT OTHERS AS A JOKEEEE. "They are in hell" BITCH A HUMAN, A REAL PERSON WORKING ON THE SHOW WROTE hahaha Moxxie gets violated by the succubus so funny lol. IT'S NOT "LOONA IS A BAD PERSON FROM HELL THAT'S WHY SHE MADE FAT JOKES AT MOXXIE" NO IT'S WRITTEN AS IF THE SA WAS FUNNY IN ITSELF!

This is also not a scenario where there was a realization of the problems in HB with all those jokes and the harassment, so it was trying to be fixed with a serious story in hazbin. NO, THAT'S NOT IT!!!!

If there was an apology of how the sexual assault was treated in previous works! "We'll make up for it!" (the fact of that was a thing in the first place, it's still bad). That would be a little different. BUT NO, IT'S NOT! IT'S HYPOCRITICAL AND GARBAGE BULLSHIT.

I think purely by the context already given here that I think the representation it's bad. I don't feel like it comes from a good place, due to the hypocritical shit, the comments, and the artist who directed it.

We could go really back and forth with the direct scenes of the episode. BUT THIS IS ABOUT THE CONTEXT SURROUND IT rather than the scenes themselves. (Which is partly connected to the fact that it's incomplete)

Here is the scene "Tuca and Bertie". Is Bertie telling her friend of her assault. It's amazingly respectful and well written. It's not graphic, and tells the story really well.

[q-gorgeous]

Thanks for reading my fic! I hope you enjoyed it, but i dont post things looking for unsolicited criticism, especially when comments made are untrue! This fic was completely finished before it was even posted as it was for invisobang! And I do know my stuff about miraculous :)

If people arent looking for critique of their work, i suggest not giving any. I made the choices i made for my fic for a reason.

Broken Dashed Ladybug Chapter 1

Being Ladybug was hard work, especially while still dealing the loss of Tucker and putting up with Dash at school. He was glad he had his trusted partner to fall back on in all of this.

ao3

ffn

hehehehe

Sam always knew she wanted to help people. 

They were always asked what they wanted to be when they grew up as kids. Most kids wanted to be a vet or a firefighter. Some wanted to be popstars or actors like the ones they saw on tv. 

As a kid Sam also wanted to be a vet. She wanted to help sickly animals and make sure they would feel better. But the sicker Tucker got, the more her ambitions changed. 

Vet, teacher, environmentalist, nurse, doctor. 

But as they got older and Tucker got sicker, she grew more disillusioned with the world. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, she’d never be able to help everyone. Not even those closest to her. 

Tucker died when they were thirteen. 

If only she’d stepped in sooner. If only she’d thought to call on her own family’s doctors sooner. If only their medical system wasn’t so fucked up in this godforsaken country. Then maybe everything would have turned out okay. Maybe her world wouldn’t have been shattered. 

She didn’t have any sort of hope left until her parents were talking to one of their rich friends about something called miraculous a few months later.

The miraculous were powerful jewels that granted the wearer immense power. There were many of them long ago. The fox, the turtle, the butterfly. The black cat and ladybug. Most of them seemed to have been lost to time though. 

The most powerful of all of them were the black cat and ladybug miraculous. Especially used together. Whoever had them both could make a wish and rewrite reality. 

Her parents didn’t believe in any of those stories but they didn’t hesitate in buying the butterfly miraculous when they were given the option. They didn’t even ask what it could do.

She had to get her hands on the miraculous. She could use the butterfly miraculous to find the jewels of the black cat and ladybug. She could use them to help Tucker. To get him back. 

She spent weeks planning ways to get the brooch from her parents. It was all for naught when her parents ended up simply gifting it to her. They thought she might like it. It fit her style and interests in the strange while still being elegant and regal. 

She pretended she lost it two weeks later. 

Her parents were furious but she couldn’t have them growing suspicious once she started using the miraculous and learning what it could do. 

When she put on the miraculous for the first time she was surprised to see a little creature flit out of it. Nooroo was the kwami of transmission. He explained that she could grant one person powers of her choosing and they would follow her orders. She could send them to find the miraculous for her. 

She transformed for the first time in her greenhouse. She called on a butterfly and did what Nooroo told her. Channel her energy and look for someone she could grant powers to. 

It took a bit of practicing, but after a moment of listening she could hear someone’s distressed thoughts. She sent her akuma off. 

Sam would get her wish. She needed to bring him back. She needed to help him.

She was going to save him.

[gnomewithalaptop]

I'm still too distracted to write so here have a list of YJ-cast centric fics that make me froth at the mouth

Kon-centric recs:

I Want It That Way (1990s Tim/Kon) by WynterSky / @wynterstars -- A revamped, 90s-style Superboy origin story with added Lex Luthor AND a lil bit of 90s Robin for spice and flavor. Honestly, this whole series is so elite -- goes hard with the Superboy mythos + angst PLUS the third fic leans hard into the secret identity shenanigans in a way that'd make Miraculous Ladybug jealous. The first fic splits its attention between Tim and Kon, but the latter two are solidly Kon-centric

one plus one (easy math) by connerdrakewayne / @comphetkoncass -- Cassandra Cain and Kon go to a gala together. I'm always a sucker for a good Cass + Kon friendship. This one's very short and sweet, and it gets the job done -- 10/10 would read again

a timeline can be a haunted house by connerdrakewayne -- post-universal reset Kon angst + terrible coping mechanisms! This one goes so hard I read it three times. Tbh this author has an excellent handle on Kon as a character in general, so I honestly recommend just checking out their whole fic stash

Tim-centric recs:

Top 10 Secret Identity Fails by @havendance -- Tim's new English teacher is his on-again-off-again superhero teamup Helena Bertinelli (aka the Huntress). This one's just fun, okay -- the whole thing reads like it could be straight out of Tim's 1993 solo run, plus I love the dynamic between him and Helena. Overall just a very cool vibe

only the dead stay 17 forever by Sky_Dust (couldn't find their tumblr sorry) -- Listen, I've really been restraining myself here, because I realize my love for time-travel bullshit is not universal, but I genuinely couldn't not include this one. This bad boy is a Tim-centric time-loop featuring a seriously unhinged Tim -- definitely a darker tone, but I can't stop rereading it

Bart-centric recs:

reflections on respawning: a gamer's uncertainty by merils / @mamawasatesttube -- Bart has a hard conversation about his death and subsequent resurrection (feat. Kon) man, I just vibe with this one so hard. It's such a thoughtful take on Bart's more contemplative side, while still managing to keep his personality intact

the backlash to the backlash to the thing that's just begun by @kermit-coded -- trans/gnc impulse my beloved <3 also we get some funky Max & Bart bonding, made much rawer and more real by the fact that it's the 90s and nobody knows what they're doing. Again, feels like it's straight out of Bart's solo series

Cassie-centric recs:

you and I, we are more than just this armor by @suzukiblu -- KonCassie bonding + gender feels. They're both so trans in this, and the author does a great job of really digging deep into their complicated feelings (both about gender and about each other)

(also PLEASE somebody give me more Cassie-centric fic recs I'm literally begging you)

Team recs

I'm all yours but you're all mine by suzukiblu -- Poly Core 4 Soulmates AU! Essentially, everybody gets their 'soulmark'/soulmate-identifier (not really, but the best word) right when Kon wakes up in his pod, and because Superboy hasn't really made his big splash yet, they misidentify their soulmate as Superman; this is an issue mainly because 1) they're all 14-15 and Superman is roughly 30-ish, and 2) by the time this fic takes place, Superman is pretty verifiably dead. Currently in-progress, but this is such an interesting and fun take on the usual soulmates trope. I pinky promise you won't regret reading it

Love, Not Loved series by @popsunner -- hoooomygod this series makes me cry literally every time I read it, it's genuinely one of the most realistic representations of grief I've seen on AO3. Basically explores the general fucked-up-edness of pretty much the whole YJ Core 4 Squad dying one by one, with each fic focusing on a different funeral (complete with survivor's guilt, regular guilt, and just plain old complicated feelings). We get Cassie feels, we get Tim feels, we get Bart + Kon feels -- it's the whole shebang. Don't worry -- there's a happy ending eventually, but you def gotta work for it. This series beat me up and stole my lunch money and I'd happily do it all over again

Lost the Last Piece of Me by InsaneTrollLogic / @last01standing -- YJ Core 4 Animorphs AU! I'm sad to say I've never read the original Animorphs series, but every single Animorphs AU I've ever read has been such high quality. Unsurprisingly (I love this author, okay), this fic is no exception to that rule. Solid alien-invasion plot, character driven, and the world-building is explained well enough that even a newbie like me can understand (feat. some TimKon, but it's not the main focus)

Ikonoclast by anantipodean (couldn't find a tumblr) -- Tim and Kon get sent to an alternate reality that's almost (but not quite) like their own. This one's just fun for me -- I love the TimBart buildup and the worldbuilding on the other Earth is a funky time. Also, the other universe's Tim is goth and absolutely cannot stand mainstream-reality Tim, and I find that extremely funny for some reason

[ultimate-marysue]

Thinking about writing something about RoyJay. I just love the idea of those two accidentally fumbling their way into having one of the healthiest dynamics in DC.

Like, they're both considered such fuck UPS by the cape community at large post drugs/pit madness. I just think they're both such no-bullshit people they would be actually really effective at cutting each other's self destructive/self isolating behavior. And at first they would fight it because "fuck you and your holier than thou shit", but they would eventually realize neither of them is judging the other. That they both come from a place of caring and empathy even if they can't always express it.

Like Roy has a lot of background on the Batfam dynamics from being friends with both Dick and Jason. He understands how it feels to not meet your mentors expectations and to be let down by them in your time of need. He's also a father that has lost his daughter and I think that he can both validate Jason's need for vengeance while also offering some perspective on Batman's self destructive behavior after Jason's death. I think that whole angle is so interesting to explore (even in a Bad Batdad or trying his best but it's not enough Batdad situation). Roy also would let Jason vent about his siblings sure, but once he calms down he'd force Jason to reckon with the fact that these are kids. Dick, Cass and Tim aren't at fault for other people comparing them to Jason, and unfair comparisons go both ways.

On the other hand I think that Jason is probably one of the better equipped people to help Roy through his addiction. Jason has never blamed Catherine for her struggles and understands that if she never managed to get clean it wasn't for a lack of love for him. He would be the most empathetic in that situation, understanding how fucking hard it is to stay clean, but at the same time he would never go easy on Roy because he knows that sometimes you need someone to hold you accountable until you can do it yourself again. Roy would really appreciate having someone that has his daughter's best interest at heart but doesn't judge him as a horrible father for struggling. It can be so hard when everyone else just assumes that you should be able to magically cure something that's affecting your brain chemistry because it's what "good parents should do". I also think Jason would point out the hypocrisy of Roy calling Dick a Martyr while pulling the same shit. Maybe Roy doesn't do it out of guilt and a savior complex but the end results are the same.

Like, I don't ship them just because they're two men standing next to each other being friends. I think that even from a completely platonic standpoint their dynamic must be so interesting because of all of the above. Canon doesn't do enough with all of those tasty parallels because they're cowards. They're in the perfect place to help each other and they have the no-nonsense attitude to keep each other in check. They wouldn't judge each other but neither would they try to fix each other. They'd help each other fix themselves. I'm chewing my arm off.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Was thinking today about Cherry Magic Thailand, and all respect to the writing (which deftly navigated the challenging task of adapting a full-on classic) and the rest of the cast and crew, but has any QL series' success hinged so much on a single actor going above and beyond in a performance as Cherry Magic Thailand does on Tay Tawan's portrayal of Karan???

That character could have fallen so detrimentally flat. He is perfection personified. Even after Achi discovers his so-called 'imperfections' (which are just that he sings bad and is crushing extra hard on Achi), the writing doesn't ever let Karan come off his pedestal. He remains put together, impossibly patient, and admirably righteous. His stress in life is that people don't respect his hard work because he's so beautiful! This character, in theory, should not really strike an audience as likeable. The writers could have used the one facet of his family-drama that emerges in the penultimate episode to build a deeper character in the writing, but elect not to even hint at it any earlier in the series.

So much heavy lifting is left to Tay, and the performance is a wonder to behold. Tay Tawan is certainly attractive in the way Karan is supposed to be attractive--fit, tall, handsome--but Tay's face and earnest dorky demeanor are unique in a way that seem far too rare in the influencer era. The breadth of his nose, the goofy joy in his smile, the clownish clumsiness, the nerdiness of his interests (the GMMTV actor most likely to be reposting a popular science article or rare animal sighting): Tay brings all of these elements of himself to bear on the poised idol of Karan, playing all the parts of the romantic hero while letting his own characteristics distill onto it so that the character actually contains valuable tension for the audience between his faultlessness and the slow reveal of his sincerity. That dynamic lies at the core of the show, and it's a less explored one in media, so all the more challenging to do.

But Tay understands the assignment. He goes full-in when Achi hears Karan's inner voice, squealing and talking manically fast (a real-life Tay Tawanism as well as a wonderful connection to Japanese performance styles). Once the characters begin their romance, so much effort is put in to have Karan looking at Achi, not just with love, but with the deepest gratitude. That's what most often had me crying. In fact, it often looked like Karan was on the verge of happy tears, overwhelmed by the fortune to love and be allowed to love Achi.

Being able to appreciate Karan's sincerity opens up an avenue for the audience to care about his challenges that on the surface seem so superficial. Tay is able to take this character's struggle to be taken seriously and make it as worthy and pitiable as any narrative about women in the workplace struggling with that issue, and that's not an easy feat in this day and age. Whether in Karan's affections or disappointments, Tay exhibits such humility and unabashedness in his performance throughout the series, it renders the otherwise familiar messages about the value of the small unappreciated things in the world as enchanted and life-changing.

And incredibly amongst all this, the series REQUIRES by its very title for Karan to have a sex drive, and even that desire threads through Tay's portrayal of the character as he interacts with Achi, maintaining an incredible balance between a fun and dorky excitement about sex and a potent sensuality (it's such a great sex scene when it finally comes).

Tay took a paragon and made him such a fully fleshed-out and realized character. I just can't imagine the series working without such a masterfully crafted performance. The whole cast did great work, don't get me wrong. Tay's is just one of those magical reminders about what the art of acting can achieve.

[tizeline]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

LMAO so I started listing my favorite duos and I realized that it's just. Literally any duo with Donnie in it. Doesn't matter which duo, if Donnie is there I'm probably gonna like it, regardless of which iteration of TMNT (yes he is my fave, how did you guess)

Okay but putting Donnie aside for a second, another dynamic I adore is Leo and Splinter cuz like aifdjskhasf Leo in every iteration is such a daddy's boy lmao. And seeing how his need for Splinter's approval effects him, both in the iterations where Splinter is a good parent and the iterations where he's... uh, not quite as good of a parent is so compelling to me.

Raph and Casey. I don't think I need to explain this one, they're besties in every universe. I also enjoyed Raph and Jennika in the IDW comics quite a bit.

And listen, I KNOW the whole Leo and Raph feud is a bit overdone at this point, but I DON'T CARE, I like it! I feel like rottmnt especially changed things up in an interesting way, instead of Raph not wanting to be bossed around by Leo, it's basically Raph trying to get Leo to boss him around and Leo refusing to act like a leader.

Also April's relationship with the turtles in general, but especially in rottmnt. April having known the turtles for years before the show starts is a great idea and I'm really hoping future TMNT iterations decides to go that route as well.

Oh and I really like Draxum's dynamic with Mikey and Donnie specifically! I know I said I wouldn't bring up any more Donnie dynamics haha but I still wanted mention this, Draxum and Donnie are so similar and I really wish we got to see them interact more in the show

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite Books I Read in 2023

I read a ton of good novels last year- 36 in all (and uh, 78 manga/graphic novels, but we'll examine that in another post). Here's a link to my Goodreads year in books (the manga is at the beginning, the novels start with Siren Queen) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I reread a ton of Discworld this year, and it's as spectacular as ever. But what about new reads?

Well, here are my favorite books I read in 2023!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

This is an autobiographical memoir about the abusive relationship the author went through with her ex-girlfriend. It's absolutely gut-wrenching, and at times, achingly beautiful. Machado uses the house she shared with her girlfriend, which she calls the "dream house", as a back drop. It's a place she always wanted and also a place she became trapped in, Machado's language is beautiful as she explores the relationship from different lenses-- The Dream House as Lesbian Cult Classic, the Dream House as Noir, the Dream House as Creature Feature, the Dream House as Stoner Comedy....All facets of the relationship are explored in a way that grips you by the throat and makes you remember everyone who ever tried to suffocate you-- but it also explores the hard work of moving on, of picking up the pieces, of living and embracing tenderness along with hardship.

I especially related to Machado's struggle to talk about abuse between queer lovers because of her fears of giving homophobes more ammunition...and when she says "we deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity", I felt that deeply.

This wasn't just one of my favorite books this year, it goes on the list of all-time favorite books. I wish I had this kind of writing style. I'll be returning to this again and again.

Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao

A middle-grade novel about a Chinese-American teen who feels a bit alienated from his heritage, which becomes a bit of an issue once he finds out the First Emperor of China has possessed his A.R. Gaming Headset. Now he needs to close a portal to the underworld with the help of other kids possessed by emporers.

This was a whole lot of fun, and often quite poignant. I was unsure if I could really enjoy middle-grade books as an adult, and this absolutely proves I can. There's a lot of really interesting Chinese history blended with action-packed fantasy, and exploration of the complicated feelings a kid can have about their own heritage . The dynamic between Zachary and Qin Shi Huang was so entertaining with the Emperor being villainous, heroic, charismatic, detestable-- and Zachary realizing how his complicated feelings about him mirror his relationship with his culture at large. There was also a lot of fun with other historical figures, and Xiran's take on Wu Zetian is a joy. (Also, if you like Yu-Gi-Oh!, you'll probably like this, since Xiran says it was one of their influences).

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Rose is young woman who's raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, and she's a devout, obedient daughter. But some weird things are happening. She's seeing a terrifying demon everywhere, insects are coming out of her mouth....and she's possibly having feelings about other girls. What's going on?

Yes, this is by the Chuck Tingle who makes all those Tinglers. But THIS one... will make you tingle with fear! It's a great horror novel! It's skin-crawlingly creepy at times, but also does a great job digging into how fundamentalist dogma harms queer people, and the hypocrisy of such beliefs. The conversion camp aspect is handled tastefully, and overall it was a great spooky read that's also ultimately very affirming, cathartic, and hopeful.

Qualia the Purple by Hisamitsu Ueo

You might go into this thinking it's just a quirky yuri light novel about a schoolgirl and her crush who sees everyone around her as robots (like literally, when she looks at someone she sees a robot instead of a human). But it quickly becomes surreal queer psychological horror steeped in absolutely wild applications of quantum mechanics and thought-provoking time travel.  Some of the quantum mechanics  exposition dumps were a bit much but I deeply enjoyed having my mind cracked open by this book. 

It's one of the most interesting takes of time loop stories I've seen. But it definitely covers a lot of rough subject matter, including a relationship with a serious age gap and extremely messed up relationships, so be cautious if you have triggers.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

This book follows Miri, whose wife goes missing on a deep-sea submarine mission for six months. Miri thought her wife dead, but she miraculously returns one day...but her wife has changed. She's like a stranger. She may have bought the horrors of the sea home with her.

This is a gripping exploration of grief and loss combined with a delicious, slow horror that creeps under your skin. There's excellent Lovecraftian and body horror elements to the novel, but it works very effectively as a metaphor for a loved one going through trauma, and a relationship starting to crumble because everything seems different. A moment that really stuck out to me is when Miri copes with her wife's disappearance by frequenting an online community where women roleplay as wives with husbands missing in space. The way the online drama of the community interacted with her grief was  both funny and heartbreaking. 

This is another example of a book that makes me deeply jealous with its lyrical writing, and another one for the ever-lengthening all time favorites list.

Otherside Picnic Volume 8: Accomplices No More by Iori Miyazawa

The latest entry in a series about two girls exploring an alternate dimension full of creepypasta monsters, while also falling in love with each other. See my other reviews here and here.

This volume has the payoff to a lot of careful character work and relationship building, and it was completely satisfying. In fact, it was...show-stopping. Spectacular.  Incredible. I loved the exploration of how love, sex, and romance are so different for different people and it's impossible to put it in neat boxes. The frank and messy conversation our leads have about their relationship was perfect and so was that absolutely  bonkers, wonderful finale. This is another one for the all times favorite list, and I loved it so much I wrote a extremely long review/recap here. 

Queer Ducks (and Other Animals): The Natural World of Animal Sexuality by Eliot Schrefer

This was a well-researched, well-crafted, easy to read book that explores queerness (mainly homosexuality, bisexuality, trans and genderfluid expressions in animals, and even the question of if and how animals can related to gender) in the animal kingdom. Though it's definitely aimed at teens, I learned a lot from it (who knew female bonobos were such life goals) and it presented its information in a fun way. It included some interesting examinations of how proof of homosexuality and bisexuality in animals was historically suppressed and filtered through homophobic assumptions. If you want to learn a little animal science in an accessible format, definitely check this out.

Night’s Edge by Liz Kerin

The story follows Mia, a woman in her 20's living with her vampire mother. Her whole life revolves around not drawing suspicion towards her Mom. She also has to make sure to feed her Mom some of her blood every night--lest her mother fall back in with her abusive boyfriend and start hunting humans.  But when Mia meets a cute girl, she starts to dream of living her own life...

It was a really interesting use of vampirism as a metaphor for both living with a parent struggling with addiction and having an abusive parent. It's just a well-told, heartwrenching tale that got deep into the character's mindsets. I thought the ending was bit abrupt and rushed, but it did make more sense once I realized this was the first in a duology. It's a fascinating take on vampires, and I'm interested in seeing more.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

This novel follows a middle-aged Muslim female pirate living around the Arabian Peninsula. She's supposed to be in retirement, but wouldn't you know it, she's lured in for one last job! I she rescues a kidnapped girl,  she'll have all the riches she needs to set her family up for life. So Amina begins her adventure of fighting demons and monsters and ex-husbands. But the job might not be all it seems.

This novel is full of all the entertaining swashbuckling action and shenanigans that any pirate story should have. It's a rollicking good time, and feeds my craving for middle aged women going on quests and kicking ass. Amina's journey is a fun, wild ride full of dynamic characters and interesting mythology!

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

Juniper is friends with a successful Chinese-American author, Athena Liu, and has always been deeply jealous of her. When Athena dies in front of her, Juniper decides to steal her manuscript rooted in Chinese history and claim it as her own. But plagiarism might catch up with her...

This is a strong example of a book I thought was really well-done, but one I'm probably never going to read again. The way it depicted Twitter drama is just too accurate and I got anxiety. It did such a good job putting you in Juniper's awful shoes so you can feel the pressure close in along with her. The book's commentary on the insidious racism of the publishing industry was effective, and it made a horrible character's journey fascinating to follow. I was so intrigued yet anxious I had to force myself to finish the last few pages.

Bonus read:

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldtree

A very cute novel about an orc named Viv who decides to retire from the violent life of a bounty hunter and run a coffee shop instead. She ends up getting a lot of assistance from a succubus named Tandri...and my, is that a slow-burn coffee shop romance brewing? This book reminds me a lot of various cozy slice-of-life anime, and it's nice to be getting more of that feeling in book form. I wish there was a little more specific to the fantasy world rather than making it a coffee shop that line up 1 to 1 to a modern day shop, but it was definitely a sweet read.

[vinelark]

ALL timkon recs I BEG

hello hi! here are some of my favs! it got long so putting some under the cut

💄 Lipstick on the glass by @cairoscene read for timkon being soft and goofy and disgustingly in love, set in vague future college-y years with amazing core four dynamics too. cair is one of the funniest people to ever exist and we are so blessed that they decided to write some timkon. (also read for my own greatest contribution to literature, the fictional “jerry the void nexus” meme)

🎢 been a number and a name by @wynterstars i had SO MUCH FUN reading this one, a 90s comics-divergent AU where robin and superboy become friends—and crushes—when superboy is pretty new on the scene. feat. lex luthor being terrible, tim staging a rescue operation that at one point involves platform shoes and a blonde wig, spice girls references, and fantastic action sequences. it’s also a series, with an installment focusing on kon & clark, and a currently updating longfic sequel with SO MANY timkon identity shenanigans (my beloved) and kon feelings (also my beloved).

📸 the surveillance series by @smilebackwards i feel like i rec this all the time but it’s because it’s THAT GOOD. a tim-centric AU where tim joins the family late, but is still involved in bat business without the bats realizing. there’s some fun timkon identity shenanigans at the top, and some of my all-time favorite tim characterization (ruthless! lonely! brilliant!) plus a great tim & bruce arc, too.

🦉 Detours by miyaji_08 this is part 2 of a series and i def recommend reading the whole thing! a reverse robins + joker jr au that has lots of trauma and lots of healing, and in part 2 there’s timkon identity shenanigans that’s simultaneously enemies to lovers + And They Were Roommates. tim sure does run a gauntlet of horrors in this series, but it has so much healing and also one of my fav reverse robins concepts i’ve read so far.

📱 unfurl by @burins tim and kon might be dating, and there’s no kryptonian sex ed handy. bruce, being bruce, makes it his business, which means talking to clark and Realizing some things about his own feelings. superbat are billed first here, but i think timkon steal the show—i laughed out loud like five different times reading this. hilarious and sweet on all sides. (and if you like this, check out their timkon road trip fic!)

🌾 A Saturday Evening by malcyon in which tim visits the kent farm for family dinner with kon, feat. very sweet established relationship timkon and fun superfamily dynamics, and it touches on tim’s past grief over kon’s death (and complicated feelings post-undeath).

🤼‍♂️ Sore Loser by @hearteyeshayley kon learns that tim always let him win while sparring, and has to process that. this was such a fun exploration of tim’s prowess as a fighter—one who regularly has to go up against superpowered friends and foes alike—and also tim as a person who is always doing mental calculations about the people around him (in an endearing way). kon, too, got his time to shine and grow, and the ending was so smart and sweet.

🔮 Ascension by Violet_Witch an AU longfic where tim is a witchling and kon is a fallen angel who has (oops) just lost his wings. tim sets out to help get kon’s wings back, and there’s a ticking clock because angel wings are dangerous in the wrong hands—and tim has a big, horrible secret that’s about to come due. the plot/worldbuilding of this was WILDLY cool, and there was a big ol misunderstanding in the middle that had me clawing my face off (in a good way).

🌌 straight on ’til morning by merils kon vs. the terrifying ordeal of growing up, feat. sweet friends-to-lovers timkon and really thoughtful exploration of some of kon’s canon past relationships and their abusive dynamics. i haven’t finished this one yet but it’s been rec’d multiple times and i’m excited to dive back in (and it's recently complete!)—and what i have read so far gave me an amazing sequence of kon and dick interacting and dick’s big brother mode activating in an instant, which is something i now desperately need more of.

📧 aaaand would it even be a reclist by me if i didn’t include send to all by @cairoscene the absolute moment i find myself feeling down i go reread this and boom. i am instantly laughing again. timkon are just one part of a bat grab-bag here but they are so so funny and cute and in-character. maybe one day i’ll compile the timkon-centric sequel that exists in my head but for now i’ll just go reread this for the zillionth time.

okay yeah!! i’m probably missing so many good fics here because i constantly have like a zillion tabs open that i plan to read someday. also i reserve the right to reblog later like OH I FORGOT— but in the meanwhile, happy timkon reading!

[mydearestbeloved]

Movie night with jinwoo, reader and either jinho or jinah where they watch The Descent. When the creatures appear and chase down the group, reader's and jinwoo's hunter instinct kick in and they start animatedly discussing how to best take the hoard down like taking advantage of the creatures' sharp hearing, using the complex structure of the cave etc. out of work habit. Meanwhile, jinho/jinah is there like this isn't a horror movie anymore you guys are ruining the mood 😭

This scenario fits them so well I almost can't believe it 😂

Unfortunately, I'm really bad at anything horror in general. There are only some horror comic/anime that I can stomach just because of their art/animation. Live action is a hard pass, I apologize. I'm a bit better at thriller though 🙏

So, I could only do so much research on The Descent without traumatizing myself. And since I'm not sure if I can put this scene in Trial Player AU official story despite this fitting so perfectly in Jinwoo's and Reader's dynamic, I hope you'll enjoy this short blurp I managed to write somehow:

---

The living room was cozy, dimly lit with the faint glow of the TV as The Descent played on the screen. Jinwoo, you, and Jinah were huddled together on the couch, surrounded by snacks and blankets. The eerie silence of the cave scenes drew everyone’s attention, the tension building as the group of explorers stumbled upon the terrifying creatures.

When the monsters lunged out, Jinah let out a yelp, clutching a pillow to her chest. But instead of joining her in the panic, both you and Jinwoo leaned forward, eyes narrowing, the gears in your heads visibly turning.

“Did you see that?” You said, pointing at the screen. “They rely on sound to hunt. If they just stayed completely still and silent, they could avoid detection.”

“True,” Jinwoo replied, nodding. “But if they had to fight, the creatures are blind. You could take advantage of that by using misdirection—maybe toss something to make noise and attack from a different angle.”

“Exactly! And the cave’s layout is complex enough to set up ambushes. Funnel them into tighter spaces, limit their mobility—”

“Or use the stalactites as natural weapons. It’d take some effort to break them, but with the right leverage, they could cause a collapse to take out several at once—”

“ARE YOU TWO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!” Jinah’s voice cut through your animated discussion, her face a mix of horror and exasperation. She looked between the two of you, utterly scandalized. “This is supposed to be a horror movie, not a Hunter Strategy 101 seminar!”

You blinked, momentarily startled by her outburst. “But we’re just—”

“NO!” Jinah jabbed a finger toward the screen. “The whole point is to feel scared and helpless, not to turn this into a tactical training session! Do you even realize how much you’re ruining the mood?!”

Jinwoo raised an eyebrow, glancing at you. “We’re just… analyzing.”

“Stop analyzing! The monsters aren’t even real!”

“But Jinah,” you interjected with mock seriousness, “if you think about it, the group could totally survive if they—”

“OUT!” Jinah threw a handful of popcorn at you, her glare enough to make you and Jinwoo raise your hands in surrender.

Jinwoo smirked as he leaned back into the couch, clearly amused by his sister’s frustration. “Alright, alright. No more strategy talk.”

Jinah huffed, hugging her pillow tighter. “Good. Now let me enjoy the movie before you two decide to strategize about how to survive Jaws next week!”

You stifled a laugh, whispering to Jinwoo, “Bet we could totally handle Jaws too.”

Jinah groaned. “I heard that!”

---

Thank you for your ask! 💞

[dmsr-art]

I wish I had one of those "this is a work of fiction" disclaimers from old video games to use as an emoji reaction on people who are like "oh no how dare you like cnc and incest and power dynamics you must approve of those things happening in real life if you enjoy reading them!" like hi. shut up. people in real life hey man how's it going style. I like the fake shit and if me and my wife write out roleplays where our characters are sicknasty daddy daughter kissing. that's Our Business as Grown Adults who have Common Sense.

like yeah fiction can hurt you it can be used to indoctrinate you and make you believe that some things are normal and okay when they're not. that happened to me when I was a kid! I know how bad and sad it gets!

but also. fiction can give you the tools to recognize when things that are happening to you are Not Okay. you can point to a book where someone gets attacked and say "this happened to me" and you can get to a safer point with the communication opportunities that fiction can provide you. gothic fiction was meant to be a cautionary tale. yeah it's hot taboo shit is hot but it serves as an example of "this is a bad thing to do to people in real life."

also like nobody else is reading me and my wife's freakshit but us so shut the fuck up and tag your shit appropriately. if people don't wanna see it then that way they won't see it! and people who Do wanna See can find it easier!! ya know??

anyway hi thanks for listening I hope you wake up feeling the perfect amount of rested and that the shower stays the exact temperature you want it to stay at for the whole time you're in there. have a lovely rest of your week

CO-SIGNED.... BECAUSE THAT WAS SOME REAL SHIT YOU JUST SAID!!!

they are larping 90s "violent video games make u violent irl" rhetoric but with sexual kinks now. and they are too stupid or not self aware enough to realize it. it's always "so u support incest???" but never "so u support murder???" they fully understand that u can watch and enjoy violent horror movies and not want to recreate what u saw but lose their god damn minds when two trans gfs on twitter call each sister and accuse them of wanting to fuck their actual real life relatives.

i know most of these ppl are just young and dumb. i HOPE they'll grow out of it and learn to mind their business. it's still very jarring to me bc when i was a teen on the wild wild west internet NO ONE was like that!! i was out there exploring sexual taboos via fiction and it was chill af. ppl were minding their own business not throwing wild accusations around... don't like don't read was the norm!! OUR MOMS READ FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC... LIKE COME ON.... this shouldn't be an issue 😭😭😭

[chin hands] anon i am happy to listen, thank u :3

[shadowshrike]

The Curious Case of Halsin and Astarion's Ascension

For anyone who's occasionally poked around my stuff, you probably know that I found my Evil run of Baldur's Gate 3 (by which I mean my selfish run where I tried to gain as much power, wealth, and companion trust as I could) to be my most satisfying thus far. Part of that was the unique experience of having Halsin ask to join Tav and Astarion's relationship post-Ascension.

At the time, I said yes because it made sense for my character to "collect" an Archdruid. Out of character, I was tickled by the idea that Halsin confessed after Astarion became the new biggest bad in the land. Halsin was supposed to be a Good guy. Surely, either a possessive Astarion would be spitting mad about the arrangement, or Halsin would have second thoughts about Mr. Vampire Ascendent once he got a taste. I was ready for the drama.

It never came. In fact, the glimpses of their dynamic were so comfortable and playful that I was shocked.

Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about Halsin and why he might act how he does throughout the Ascension storyline. I realize most of this can be handwaved with 'fanservicey romance writing.' That's true for parts of all romance paths, honestly, and I don't consider it a wholly bad thing given the game's goal to make you its center. However, I think being dismissive of the writing is not as much fun as building headcanons that work with any set of behaviors or lines you get.

So enjoy some theories pulled from datamined dialogue and my personal games. As always, this is completely hypothetical - I encourage everyone to write 'canon' in their personal playthroughs however they prefer.

Note: it's impossible to get all these lines in a single run due to some hinging on Astarion leaving and some may be bugged or near impossible to trigger. They're just being used to explore a character and dynamic that I don't see much of around fan spaces.

Halsin on the value of lives

To briefly set the stage, it's important to understand how Halsin views life and justice. He spells it out rather clearly if Kagha kills Arabella and her parents are also dead.

Halsin doesn't consider himself to be an arbiter of good and evil, only a steward of nature and its Balance. He highly values life. However, it's not him, the leader of the Grove, who is ultimately responsible for deciding Kagha's fate; it's the wronged parties or, barring that, nature itself who should decide her true punishment.

Halsin: As for the idol? It's nothing compared to a life. A mere object, next to one of nature's creations. I cannot absolve you, even if you are repentant. The girl's parents should have decided your fate, but they perished. Instead, nature will judge you. You are banished from this place - banished from everywhere the Oak Father's creations thrive.

But valuing the sanctity of life doesn't mean he doesn't also understand the importance of sacrifice. For example, if Wyll chooses his freedom over his father, Halsin counsels that it's a necessity to sacrifice to grow at times, no matter how unpleasant.

Halsin: You made a hard choice, Wyll. But not one that is unknown in nature. At times, a seedling must strangle the very tree that bore it, if it is to survive.

The price of 7000

So, Halsin's not a big fan of sacrificing life, yet understands that sometimes, people need to die for others to thrive.

But what about 7000 lives? A whole village worth?

That level of sacrifice sounds an awful lot like the day his life was destroyed by Ketheric and the Shadow Curse. A horrible event that haunted his every thought and deed for the next 100 years.

Within this context, it makes sense that all of his responses during the Ascension, whether Astarion does it or not, are focused on the price being paid. He usually emphasizes the sheer number of people affected and never discusses Astarion's potential evil (more on that later) or the undead nature of those lives.

Halsin: Stay your hand, Astarion. To sacrifice so many is a tyrant's ambition.

Halsin: All those lives snuffed out, just to grasp some power. That was craven - unnatural.

Halsin: Astarion resisted the allure of Cazador's would-be powers - and I am glad of it. Whatever he would have gained would have come at a great price.

The interesting part about this is, as an Archdruid of Silvanus, those undead lives should be considered an abomination. The Oath of Ancients oath break if you free the spawn reminds us of this. So Halsin's advice to save the spawn is not necessarily druidic advice - it is a personal opinion wrapped in flimsy druidic justifications.

He even recognizes undead as unnatural when you enter Cazador's home:

Halsin: A lair of undeath - most unnatural. We must tread carefully.

Yet about the spawn, who are undead and an intimate part of that unnaturalness, he says this about releasing them:

Halsin: Good - they deserve a chance at life. Nature will handle their fates from here.

Mercy for all monsters?

This is interesting to compare to another encounter with a smaller version of an eerily similar choice in Act III. The mindflayer in the Windmill - a person turned into a monster, much like a spawn. Allow it to live, and it may devour a family. In that case, Halsin says:

Halsin: We allowed this unnatural thing to live - now a whole family's worth of blood is on our hands.

He joins a host of other Good companions who curse themselves for showing mercy where it wasn't warranted. These are largely the same companions who would also save the spawn.

Karlach: This is our fault. These people died because of us. What were we thinking?

Wyll: Justice does not entail granting mercy to monsters. We should not have let this abomination go free.

Gale: A cruel conclusion to the mercy we showed, but hardly an unpredictable one. As long as it lives, so will its appetite.

The contradictory perspective taken during these two storylines shows the importance of emotional context in how we make decisions. For most, their traveling companion, who also has a tadpole, is the first vampire spawn they've ever met, while mindflayers have generally been the big evil this entire time. This could lead them to feel as though a horde of spawn may have enough humanity to need a chance, while a newborn Mindflayer should be exterminated on sight. Also, most of the other Good companions are relatively young and idealistic, so it makes sense that some may make foolhardy, heroic decisions.

But this encounter also begs the question: if these heroes are so distraught by having the blood of one family on their hands due to a single hungry mindflayer they saved, how could they justify letting 7000 starving monsters with unquenchable bloodlust free? Are they simply kind-hearted and short-sighted? Or maybe they're only optimistic about the hunger of vampire spawn, despite having personal examples of both a spawn and a mindflayer who manage their hunger equally ethically - by feeding on enemies and criminals.

Their naivety is driven home by Jaheira not being moved by the mindflayer or the spawn due to her extensive life experience. She believes in both cases that the greater mercy is to kill the creatures now.

(About the spawn) Jaheira: And what of the living they'll feast on, should they not prove as admirable as Astarion? They deserve a chance, too.

(About mindflayer) Jaheira: Look well. Our stupidity. Our price to pay.

Halsin is even older. He's a devout druid. He recognizes undead as unnatural. By all accounts, he should be on the same page as Jaheira to preserve the Balance. Yet in the face of that, he still advises to give the spawn a chance to live free, likely wreaking havoc wherever they need to feed.

I like to think this strange blind spot in his doctrine is due to a combination of Astarion's presence humanizing the unknown spawn, therefore making their unlives worthy of protection, and his own history as a genocide survivor creating an emotional reaction strong enough to override his usual wisdom. The price of a village is simply too devastating and personal for him to condone. No matter what letting 7000 ravenous undead free may mean.

Making the price worth it

Once you've ascended Astarion, you may be surprised that Halsin - generally a good man - is now steadfastly on Astarion's side. His reactions to the Gur conflict highlight this. If you side with Astarion against them, he's not happy, but resolute.

Halsin: An unfortunate battle... but I must stand by those I count as allies.

And if you decide Astarion is evil now and side with the Gur, Halsin doesn't seem to care about what Astarion has become, only that you allowed the sacrifice to happen and then let it go to waste:

Halsin: We allowed Astarion to sacrifice so many, only to just turn on him soon after? We should have stopped him sooner.

In contrast, many other companions call Ascended Astarion a monster, evil, or maniacal if you turn on him. They believe killing him at that point was the only right answer.

Karlach: It's done. It had to be done. Astarion was... out of control. Gods dammit. Look, he was an evil leech, but he was ours. I thought he'd changed. I was wrong. I always am these days.

Minsc: Do not mourn Astarion. The Gur are known to be a just and righteous people among the Rashemaar. They named Astarion monster, and so monster he was. Yes, Boo - even if he sometimes seemed a friend.

Gale: That's one scourge eliminated. A vampire with that much power would be a death sentence for this city. A pity Astarion didn't understand that. Or rather, didn't care.

Lae'zel: Astarion proved himself no less maniacal than his master. His death was a favour - to him, to us, and to the city.

Wyll: Hunt the monsters of the Sword Coast, protect the people - that was my promise. Killing Astarion was the right thing to do. I have to believe that. But I'm not proud of it. Not after... all this.

Ignoring Astarion's evil and telling you that you shouldn't have betrayed him may seem odd for a character who usually has a strong moral compass. Especially since Halsin doesn't tell you that you shouldn't have betrayed Shadowheart if you choose that path, though he's wary of that decision since you're handing her over to Sharrans. However, if Halsin's focus is on the 7000 lives and not on Astarion's personal kindness or cruelty, it makes more sense.

The people are gone. There is no taking back all those lost. So he's left with the need to make their sacrifice something other than a meaningless slaughter. The power for his companion must be worth it.

Halsin on Evil Astarion

You may be thinking, "Okay, but even if it's all about the mass sacrifice mimicking his own horrific past, shouldn't he still care about Astarion being Evil? He doesn't like evil acts at all!"

That's mostly true. Halsin certainly hates Shar for personal reasons and can get upset when you do cruel things. However, he's also potentially had a bit of a soft spot for Astarion since Act I, when you can decide the vampire spawn is evil and kill him or kick him out of camp.

His lines for this are actually shared with Karlach, Wyll, and Jaheira, according to the data. The uniqueness is primarily in his distraught line delivery.

If you kill Astarion, Halsin admits that he liked the guy even though he was a killer:

Halsin: Rest in peace, Astarion. You may have been a blood-thirsty murderer, but I liked you all the same.

And if you send him away, Halsin says this about Astarion being alone in the woods:

Halsin: He's someone else's problem now, anyway. Woods are full of boars. Maybe he'll learn his lesson and start hunting something that won't miss him when he goes.

His camp reactions immediately after Ascension mirror this attitude of concern rather than condemnation of evil. If Halsin speaks directly to Astarion, he sounds exasperated (the way Halsin says his name always makes me snicker) while Halsin once again brings up the idea of the price being paid.

Halsin: Astarion... you have ascended amongst the ranks of the undead. I can only hope that you do not come to regret the price that you paid.

However, the almost identical line if he's talking to another player character is delivered differently, particularly in how he says Astarion's name. It's more concerned than judgmental, implying that his frustration with Astarion is coming from a place of worry rather than pure anger.

Halsin: Astarion... he has ascended amongst the ranks of the undead. I can only hope that he does not come to regret the price that he paid.

This is particularly notable because it's in contrast to Shadowheart, who has a very similar line after her evil choice, but the emotion behind both sounds more similar to my ear.

After that initial comment, Halsin can banter with Ascended Astarion about how he's turned the player into a vampire spawn if there's a player romance. Unlike most of the other companions who can comment, such as Wyll and Gale, he expresses worry for both of them, not just the player. He also explicitly explains he has no intention of kink-shaming them, just warns about how dangerous having a master/thrall relationship can be if made real.

Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall...? A harmless game, until it becomes real. I worry for the two of you, Astarion. For your sake, I hope some of it is just a fantasy, deep in your heart.

But perhaps the most blatantly accepting we see him of Ascended Astarion is if they go to the Drow twins together. There are always some playful lines with one another if they're both present, but one is unique to Ascension if the player bites Halsin as a spawn during the scene. Halsin's response is light and delighted, acknowledging Astarion's role as not just a vampire, but the lead in your new relationship.

Halsin: Ha - tickles. See what a bad influence you are, Astarion?

Combine with Halsin's direct propositioning of Astarion if Astarion teases him about his night with the player, and there's a case for long-held attraction as well, regardless of alignment.

Astarion: I hear things got wild between you two. I hope no one was too badly mauled. Halsin: We're all in one piece. Perhaps you'll join us next time. Astarion: It's bad enough having one person with fangs trying to keep control of themselves. Two of us could be dangerous.

All these lines, taken together during times when others label Astarion a monster, suggest that Halsin accepts Astarion as a whole. He doesn't believe in trying to change people's nature, so maybe he sees any distasteful deeds as part of Astarion's, the same as an owlbear cub eating its mother might disgust some though it is completely natural.

It makes sense, then, that Halsin might be proud of Astarion for choosing morality or personal growth, but he isn't too bothered if that doesn't happen either. What line Astarion would have to cross to earn Halsin's true ire is unknown. The reverse is a much more complicated question (mostly because it's plausible that many of Astarion's lines are rooted in deception) that I may delve into another time.

Is this whole relationship a little ironic given that Halsin is The Selfless Good Druid and Astarion is The Selfish Evil Undead? Absolutely. But that's the fun of it, in my opinion. It adds depth to these characters in ways that rarely shine through during a singular playthrough, especially since very few will do the crazy thing I did with an Ascended Astarion + Halsin romance.

It sure makes for narrative fun, though.