#very few times do we get to have performances that explore kindness with so much depth

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Was thinking today about Cherry Magic Thailand, and all respect to the writing (which deftly navigated the challenging task of adapting a full-on classic) and the rest of the cast and crew, but has any QL series' success hinged so much on a single actor going above and beyond in a performance as Cherry Magic Thailand does on Tay Tawan's portrayal of Karan???

That character could have fallen so detrimentally flat. He is perfection personified. Even after Achi discovers his so-called 'imperfections' (which are just that he sings bad and is crushing extra hard on Achi), the writing doesn't ever let Karan come off his pedestal. He remains put together, impossibly patient, and admirably righteous. His stress in life is that people don't respect his hard work because he's so beautiful! This character, in theory, should not really strike an audience as likeable. The writers could have used the one facet of his family-drama that emerges in the penultimate episode to build a deeper character in the writing, but elect not to even hint at it any earlier in the series.

So much heavy lifting is left to Tay, and the performance is a wonder to behold. Tay Tawan is certainly attractive in the way Karan is supposed to be attractive--fit, tall, handsome--but Tay's face and earnest dorky demeanor are unique in a way that seem far too rare in the influencer era. The breadth of his nose, the goofy joy in his smile, the clownish clumsiness, the nerdiness of his interests (the GMMTV actor most likely to be reposting a popular science article or rare animal sighting): Tay brings all of these elements of himself to bear on the poised idol of Karan, playing all the parts of the romantic hero while letting his own characteristics distill onto it so that the character actually contains valuable tension for the audience between his faultlessness and the slow reveal of his sincerity. That dynamic lies at the core of the show, and it's a less explored one in media, so all the more challenging to do.

But Tay understands the assignment. He goes full-in when Achi hears Karan's inner voice, squealing and talking manically fast (a real-life Tay Tawanism as well as a wonderful connection to Japanese performance styles). Once the characters begin their romance, so much effort is put in to have Karan looking at Achi, not just with love, but with the deepest gratitude. That's what most often had me crying. In fact, it often looked like Karan was on the verge of happy tears, overwhelmed by the fortune to love and be allowed to love Achi.

Being able to appreciate Karan's sincerity opens up an avenue for the audience to care about his challenges that on the surface seem so superficial. Tay is able to take this character's struggle to be taken seriously and make it as worthy and pitiable as any narrative about women in the workplace struggling with that issue, and that's not an easy feat in this day and age. Whether in Karan's affections or disappointments, Tay exhibits such humility and unabashedness in his performance throughout the series, it renders the otherwise familiar messages about the value of the small unappreciated things in the world as enchanted and life-changing.

And incredibly amongst all this, the series REQUIRES by its very title for Karan to have a sex drive, and even that desire threads through Tay's portrayal of the character as he interacts with Achi, maintaining an incredible balance between a fun and dorky excitement about sex and a potent sensuality (it's such a great sex scene when it finally comes).

Tay took a paragon and made him such a fully fleshed-out and realized character. I just can't imagine the series working without such a masterfully crafted performance. The whole cast did great work, don't get me wrong. Tay's is just one of those magical reminders about what the art of acting can achieve.

[vickyvicarious]

"He is young and strong; there are kisses for us all."

May 16

"He is so young and strong and of blood so pure that we need not defibrinate it."

September 8

Thinking about this echo, and the way Lucy and the suitors + Van Helsing provide a kind of opposing force to Jonathan and the vampire ladies + Dracula.

In both cases, we have the young, appealing innocent who is soon to be married and has entered a new phase of their life (Jonathan/Lucy). Both have an older foreign man become very interested in them and very fond of them in their own way (Dracula/Van Helsing). Both have three 'admirers' who want to 'love' them (vampire ladies/suitor squad).

Of course, noting this is nothing new. Plenty of people (and I myself) have pointed out these and other parallels between all these individuals. But I want to go a little farther with it today.

A vampire's 'love' is one of corruption and consumption. Jonathan was held captive in Dracula's castle, and forced against his will to adopt a largely nocturnal schedule*; he had to adapt in this and many other ways to his captor's way of life. The vampires had him in their control from the start, and he had to behave in certain ways to please Dracula lest he suffer consequences of his displeasure. Dracula was extremely possessive of Jonathan, right up until he wasn't going to be around anymore, and then he was happy to throw him aside for the others to devour. Despite this 'sharing', he and the vampire women are at odds and dismissive of one another (he spends most of his time shooing them away from Jonathan, they scoff at and mock him), and whatever love may have been there in the past is clearly long gone.

Human love is one of dedication and trust. The suitors (and later Van Helsing) all come to Lucy. Both initially, in visiting her to make their proposals at her house, and then later on coming to her home when she is ill; they come to her side when she is in need, and they drop what they're doing to adapt to her. When Lucy has to turn two suitors down, she feels awful about not being able to please them all, but each of them emphasizes that they don't hold it against her at all, and they will remain devoted to her friendship. None of them are possessive of her. (Admittedly, Van Helsing does somewhat frequently work to keep Lucy's loved ones apart from her, ushering Arthur away or drugging her to sleep when he's there; but he also invites them to come and help her with their transfusions.) Arthur, the one she has chosen at the exclusion of the other suitors, is notable for being especially welcoming to the others. It is on his behest that both Jack and Quincey arrive to help Lucy in the first place, and he is extremely grateful for and welcoming of their efforts in that vein (pardon the pun):

"Young miss is bad, very bad. She wants blood, and blood she must have or die. My friend John and I have consulted; and we are about to perform what we call transfusion of blood—to transfer from full veins of one to the empty veins which pine for him. John was to give his blood, as he is the more young and strong than me"—here Arthur took my hand and wrung it hard in silence—"but, now you are here, you are more good than us, old or young, who toil much in the world of thought. Our nerves are not so calm and our blood not so bright than yours!"

And this quote brings me to the next detail I find so interesting. In order to finally escape alive, Jonathan turns many of Dracula's tricks against him. Just to name a few, he does things such as: wall-climbing, sneaking around while Dracula is asleep, stealing Dracula's belongings. There are a lot of reversals between them in the last few days, both in Jonathan's explorations and his attack on Dracula. He's 'fighting fire with fire', so to speak, and it works to get him out of the castle. Later on, we see even more of this when he is hunting Dracula down near the end of the book.

He's far from the only person to do such a thing. Dracula himself is very deliberately doing this sort of thing throughout much of the book, from imitating Jonathan in the Castle to innovating ways to work around old vampiric limitations. And Mina is of course a whole example on her own of weaponizing the enemy's own tools against him. But so is this Van Helsing + suitor squad group in a really interesting way. Even Lucy herself, though due to circumstances, she's not the most intentional/active participant in doing so. Let's look back at that quote above again. Van Helsing says that Lucy "wants blood, and blood she must have" - in order to stop her from becoming a supernatural vampire, instead they willingly perform a sort of medical vampirisim. Here we once again see the contrast between modernity and the supernatural, and interestingly, how they overlap to cross purposes.

Dracula takes Lucy's blood away. Van Helsing (by proxy at first) gives it back. Dracula wants Lucy to become a vampire, and drink the blood of those around her. Van Helsing, in giving her transfusions, enables her to drink in their blood in order to prevent her from becoming a vampire. The three vampire women wanting to gang up on Jonathan and drain him of his strength. The three suitors join together to take turns sacrificing their own strength in order to supply Lucy with more when she's in need of it.

Dracula wants her to take, just as he and the vampire women do. In fact, almost everything he does to turn her involves depriving her of things: restful sleep, blood, eventually her mother. But in her friends, Lucy is surrounded by people who love her and give freely, and this saves her (at least temporarily). They all work together and love one another in a way deeply at odds with Dracula and other vampires' form of consumptive 'love'.

And so their vampiric actions of transferring blood between bodies are life-saving instead of life-taking. Jack and Van Helsing even remember a version which is all the more a mimic of vampiric body language and leans way into the vampire-as-disease metaphor, with the reference to the time Jack sucked "from [Van Helsing's] wound so swiftly the poison of the gangrene" - it's got the mouth on skin, the sucking, but it's taking away illness rather than infecting someone. It also fosters a long-standing dedication and love, which in turn lends itself to the saving of someone else. This too ties in to the way vampiric love isolates, while human love connects.

* Lucy, meanwhile, in fighting against her terrible dreams, often attempts to be awake at night and is unable to do so. A more nocturnal schedule would make her safer, since her sleeping state is where Dracula has the most influence over her.

[catboybiologist]

Be honest: do you think there are femboys who aren't just eggs?

Yes, and tbh I resent that their existence is questioned so much. And I know this is gonna be considered a Bad Take by many people I've fostered a community with, so uh. Yeah.

As a former femboy, and current dykey/tomboyish trans woman, gender nonconformity within your actual gender is an essential part of a trans or genderqueer identity. In a lot of ways, my transition goals are the inverse of being a femboy- I'm going from a feminine man to a masculine woman. And yet, the trans community doesn't question my feminimity as a masculine woman in the same places where many people would question the masculinity of a feminine man. And don't even get me started on where NB identities fit into all of this. This is largely coming from the same place where people are okay with women wearing pants, but men or AMABs in general wearing skirts is Bad (tm).

Like don't get me wrong. The caricature of the Bad Trans pushing all the femboys to become eggs is a wildly overexaggerated, and I've met many, many femboys online that used that caricature to excuse rampant transphobia. But. I hate that there's a but. But.... I literally experienced it myself many times during my femboy days, especially online. Here's a short list:

-Had a transmed bombard me with harassing messages and comments on reddit telling me that I was a "fencesitter" and I just needed to "fucking transition already and stop making trans people look bad"

-Had a trans woman I knew irl shove an estradiol pill in my face, and try to order me to take it, in front of a group of people I wasn't even fully comfortable presenting as a femboy to, until she was eventually asked by someone else to stop.

-Had several comments indicating that I should be force femmed in femboy subreddits

-Had many, many DMs trying to tell me I was a "failed man" that should just transition already

And to clarify- all of this is so, so mild compared to transphobia that myself and others face. But it is a very real thing that happens. To many femboys, I think this is the first time they've received any kind of queerphobia or questioning of their identity, so it feels far worse in their heads than it really actually is. And, to be fair, I think it mostly happens from the more gender binary minded cis community than it comes from trans people- but as I've said, I've had it coming from trans women both irl and online.

I've also tangentially noticed that it seems to be transmed adjacent. Not saying that this anon is, or others who try to encourage femboys to explore their gender, but there certainly is a correlation. If its difficult for you to acknowledge cis gender nonconformity, then its easy to see that extending to a lack of understanding of nonbinary people or others with different trans experiences.

Every time one of these things happened, it didn't put me any closer to transition. It made me feel unsafe. It made me feel on the spot, and scared, and almost outed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again- if you want historical parallels to femboys, we have a perfect example in drag. Drag is performative, over the top femininity that has become its own artform, style, and means of expression in a way that is intrinsically tied to gender nonconformity. Being a femboy is also all of those things. And guess what? Many drag queens have used it as a way to explore their own gender and realize that they're trans. There are also many who are cis, and remain confident in that identity. Is the percentage of trans people among people who have done drag at some point higher than the general population? Of fucking course- its one of the few places where exploring gender is encouraged and celebrated. Of course trans people flock to that. And the exact same thing is true of femboys. Are a higher proportion of femboys trans or eggs than the general population. Of course. It's a great venue for trans people to explore their identities. But even more of them are

Am I saying you're a bad person if you encourage femboys and gender nonconforming people to consider the possibility that they're trans? Of fucking course not. It was the gentle, affirming pressure with respect and care for my comfort levels from several incredible trans women I know irl that eventually made me confident enough to start HRT. Their continually support is a key factor in my social transition plans for the future. I needed that pressure, and I think everyone, including people who aren't actively engaging in gender nonconformity, needs some push to question their gender and start unlocking cis+. But to be blunt, questioning whether cis femboys even exist is not gentle, comfortable, and affirming pushes.

[skyclan-funny-name-squad]

Im going to explain my au starclan now.

There is no Dark Forest in this version of Starclan, only the Seasonal Borders. For instance both Tigerstar and Bluestar are Starclan cats, but they would be different kinds of Starclan cats.

Starclan is divided by the four seasons, and how you performed in life determines which season you are assigned too. The season is determined both your own opinions of yourself and personal reasonings for why you did things, along with the actual actions.

Each area is a perfect encapsulation of the season, Newleaf is BEAUTIFUL with flowers, Leaf-Fall has so many colorful leaves, and Leafbare is picturesque with frozen lakes and glistening snowbanks.

Greenleaf is the closest to Starclan as we know it. All year long it is warm and the prey runs very well. It's also very much the default tier, you were a background cat your whole life and did nothing but be a background cat? Congrats you're getting into Greenleaf. Kits are also automatically placed into Greenleaf.

Newleaf is a lot like Greenleaf but not as perfect, you're more likely to get rain and colder days. These are the cats that tried to do what's right, but fell short in very reasonable ways. This is for cat's like Blackstar or Mudclaw who really did good things and did try very hard and genuinely believed they were doing the right thing, but still had some black stains on them they couldn't wash away. Comfortable, but not perfect.

Leaf-fall is more on the brisk side. Lots of rain, and while prey isn't the easiest to find, there is prey, a cat can be mostly comfortable here, even if it's not the nicest life. This is for the cats that had negative intentions, but didn't do enough harm to be considered irredeemable or had reasonings that are sympathetic enough. Cat's like Ashfur or Mapleshade who did a lot bad, and maybe can't be forgiven, but weren't the worst ever and honestly didn't even do more damage then an intense battle between clans could possibly have done.

Leafbare is covered in snow, it's actually quite beautiful. Prey is very scarce but not completely missing, it's hard to keep warm but cats wont suffer from things like frostbite or anything, so they're just cold. It snows often, and many Leafbare cats will stick together if they're compatible enough to keep warm. Rarely there will be a more warm day as well, it's livable. A cat won't be the most happy here, but they have enough to be content, especially once they get more used to the cold. This is cat's like Brokenstar and Tigerstar who knew full well they were doing immense amounts of war crimes and didn't even have a good reason for them.

Depending on your season will also show how easy it is to dream walk, a Greenleaf cat can do so with ease, but a Leafbare cat will have to work hard for a long time to slip into a dream even once.

Cats can cross the borders, but only going down and up to the original season. A Newleaf cat can never enter Greenleaf but both a Newleaf and Greenleaf cat can visit Leaf-fall. To prevent trouble though, kits can only cross borders going down further then Newleaf if accompanied by a Greenleaf cat. So cat's are constantly crossing the borders, perhaps a Newleaf cat misses snow and so they spend a few hours frolicking in Leafbare. Or maybe some kits want to see their morally questionable Leaf-fall parent so a Greenleaf cat supervises the meeting. This keeps cats from being permanently separated from each other, but also keeps it so cats who may be more fond of other seasons can actually still experience those seasons.

This establishes Starclan as less like heaven and more like a genuine place where dead cats can rest and explore. Sure it's not ideal to be in Leafbare, but there's still things to do and prey to hunt. Even cats in Leafbare have a say in things if all of Starclan is pulled into a meeting, after all sometimes to best understand how to tackle a threat is the observations from a previous threat.

Along with that cats will often bring gifts as they cross borders, like yeah if you're in Leafbare most cats might not like you but sometimes someone from another season will come with a huge mouse and give it to you so you make sure no one bothers them while they roll in snow. Or your mom brings you a thrush because even though you did bad things she's still your mom and she loves you. If anything, it encourages Leafbare cats to make connections and friends after death, helping them become more well rounded and less aggressive.

[apostaterevolutionary]

Collecting some thoughts on veilguard cause tbh I really don’t know how to feel lmao so. Unstructured ramble time

I’ve watched the trailer and the demo and I feel very. Idk? Still ‘wait and see’ mode for me. It’s been 10 years. Inquisition imo was the weakest of the 3. And while I have kind of moved on from DA there is a part of me that wants this to just blow everything out of the water and be amazing. I’m just not sure if that’s what I think will happen. Right now, I just think it doesn’t feel dragon age-y enough (in terms of what I, personally, consider the defining traits of the series) but I don’t want to jump to conclusions with so little information

The trailer was. Fine. Vibes were a little off but given its Varric narrating, it makes sense (also. Unpopular opinion lmao. I love Varric but I don’t think he should be a companion again. If there’s a carry over companion, it should have been Dorian. And tbh he could still be there, considering they said 7 companions but Varric is not included in that. So did they mean 7 *new* companions and maybe a few others? Advisors again maybe? Idk. Maybe Varric is a temporary companion, but I don’t think he should be there except maybe as a cameo. Scout Harding is an unexpected but fine carry over though). I don’t really have an opinion yet on the companions themselves cause there’s just. Nothing to base an opinion on other than the character designs

Gameplay demo shows that they’re definitely going very Inquisition-y. As in, continuing further down the path it started. Which isn’t unexpected, but is a bit disappointing, though not necessarily a dealbreaker as of yet. It’s probably smart tbh to go more in an action rpg direction than back to the crpg roots given it’s going to be compared to bg3 no matter what they do - better to differentiate as much as possible. Though I don’t think that’s why they did it, probably more a happy accident. I just. Idk, I found inquisitions combat a bit boring and I haven’t been impressed by what I’ve seen yet. But a 20 minute demo is probably not enough to really form an opinion

I feel like you can still see the echoes of this being a live service game at one point too. Healing potions coming from pots found in the environment (I never got over healing spells being cut btw lmao, bring back spirit healers already), the “ability wheel” (unsure about that too, given it sounds like we can’t control companion characters anymore? Kinda really don’t like that :/), stuff like that. I still feel like DA2 combat was the perfect balance between fluidity and strategy but it is what it is. It performed badly, so they’ve disregarded it wholesale rather than consider that some aspects of it may still be worth exploring. It sucks, but that’s capitalism I guess

As for all the other little things, idk, I really am not sure what to think yet lmao. Some sound good. Some less good (why only 2 companions, I don’t like that at all - also weird that the demo shows you won’t have a tank for the initial bit of the game. That’s a weird choice). Nothing to make me go aaaaaa either positively or negatively yet. I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are just so complicated about it, but also kinda empty at the same time. Like. It’s a bit of kombucha girl meme but also muted? I would like to feel just. More about it. But I don’t yet. I’m too unsure. Not quite numb, but almost tbh

At this stage, I feel like I’m gonna wait till it comes out and see what happens. No pre-ordering until I get a better idea. It’s like. With origins, I’ve played it a lot. DA2, even more - countless times lmao. Inquisition though, I played 2.5 times immediately after release and have tried to play it multiple times since but. I only ever get 10-20 hours in before I get bored and can’t make myself continue. I’ve tried many, many times and idk why but I just can’t do it. I never even played any of the DLC, so like. I kinda need to do that first if I’m gonna play veilguard but I have never succeeded before so idk how I will now lmao. But I feel like at least trespasser is necessary and I have genuinely never played it. And I gotta play the rest of the game first to get there and I genuinely don’t know if I can sksksjs

And with that in mind like. If inquisition is that unappealing to me, a game that feels very inquisition-y, potentially leaning even more into the stuff I didn’t like about it, is. Definitely not what I was hoping for. It’s still possible it’s leagues better than inquisition and actually playing it will be a great experience. But right now I just don’t know. I probably won’t be able form any kind of opinion until it comes out and I start getting info from trusted folks that I know have good DA opinions lmao

Idk. I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or a hater, and I genuinely don’t think I am being a hater at all, but I am just. Very tired and nervous. But also cautiously hopeful. I’ve said ‘idk’ a lot lmao but I truly don’t know at this stage. I guess we’ll see. Let’s hope it’s actually amazing and the very thing we need to make the series as a whole feel like it used to for us lapsed DA fans

[talleyuh]

i don’t think anyone was waiting at the edge of their seat for descendants: rise of red, but i feel like the premise had a lot of potential and a few small changes could’ve made the movie a lot better.

1. if the movie started with a cold opening with red causing some trouble around wonderland with a few friends, it would’ve shifted the tone of the movie to set it apart from the past descendants movies. we could’ve seen red, her friend maddox, and a few other people all acting like a version of robin hood and the merry men: thwarting the queen and causing minor chaos as rebellious acts. we could’ve seen that red has a desire to be good by stealing food for the poor, creating diversions to get people away from the guards who plan to execute them, or even releasing prisoners. that way it would’ve shown that even though she thinks of herself as good, she doesn’t have the most noble methods of carrying out good.

1.5 i think if they made the queen of hearts actually care for red deep down would make her more dynamic. even though she’s extremely controlling over red and wonderland, it would be to prevent red from ever experiencing humiliation or insecurity like she did.

2. by establishing that red has friends, being sent to auradon alone by her mother to take over would’ve cut off her emotional support system and be essentially forced to do what her mother says or be stranded in a strange land alone.

3. before the orientation day ceremony, we could see red and chloe butt heads while moving in their dorm or something. red is obviously in a very tormented place and one theme they tried to explore with chloe is performative kindness, so red could’ve seen right through chloe and ignored her.

4. when they eventually go back in time, we could see the nuances in the older characters and not everyone being as perfect as they seem. for example, ella could’ve been going to auradon on an academic scholarship instead of paying for tuition like everyone else, so she really tries to keep her head down and stay out of trouble. she only befriends bridget out of pity, since she’s either ignored or outright bullied by everyone else. bridget could struggle with forgiving people or moving on from being mistreated even though she’s naturally peppy.

i think charming’s character could’ve been a bit of a player (cliche i know) which is why ella originally rebuffed his advances, but then have him genuinely pursue her. also it would’ve been so fun if ella asked fay to help her with her outfit and have her hesitate to talk to charming at castlecoming since she has to go home at midnight and then they played “so this is love” to show the moment they fell in love. plus we’ve never seen someone’s fairytale play out on screen.

5. i think that we should’ve gotten a get ready montage for castlecoming, specifically with chloe and red finally getting along as they got glammed up for the dance. they should’ve both been in ball gowns (not the high low ones we kept seeing in the earlier films). the costume designers could’ve even added purple motifs to show how the two characters were coming to finally get along and see each other. like chloe could’ve worn a dress in a lavender-periwinkle color, or a deep royal blue that looked a little indigo. red could’ve worn a red-fuchsia to show her coming to a common ground with chloe with the purple and a pink to show her growing closer to her mom.

6. i think the prank at castlecoming should’ve played out, so we could see red, chloe, and ella be there for bridget. i think it would’ve made more sense if bridget was pranked at castlecoming and ella wasn’t there for her bc she was hanging out with charming, and after that bridget was angry so she stopped being friends with her. that would explain why she hates her so much all those years later.

7. as cheesy as it would’ve been, we should’ve gotten a scene where they supported each other and bridget stood up for herself against her bullies and that’s when red and chloe went back in time to see the changes that they made.

*the movie wasn’t all bad, i liked that they gave chloe a more nuanced view of goodness after spending time with her mom who did not grow up with as much privilege as she did. i feel like they could’ve had a scene where red learns that she can’t cause chaos because she thinks she’s helping. i think we should’ve gotten more from the villains, especially malifacent and hades. also if we saw red’s internal struggle between good and evil more (aka her wants vs her mom’s wants) and how that affected her relationship with chloe.

[ditch-lily]

so I wanna do a little trip/photo dump of my latest jeffy adventure. I may delete this who knows but for now, adventures below!

I tbh wasn't at my best during this trip, I had a bit of a not fun ocd episode while traveling and I do feel like I spent most of the trip trying to get back to my baseline okayness - so to my lovely friends and travel partners thanks for being awesome and treating me with kindness!! I really, really appreciated it 💖💖

okay now time for obnoxious trip slideshow haha

chiang rai was beautiful. we went to an insanely gorgeous garden cafe on the first day

on the second, we went to the white and blue temples

btw I love doing street photography so 2 of my favs from chiang rai:

and now...jeffy day

tbh by the time Jeff was onstage I'd been standing around since 2pm (he got on stage...at 10pm 😭) the things We Do for Barricade. I was soooo sweaty and frazzled by then

it was a very cool set up tho! it was a little music festival, lots of food/etc, and they lit up hot air balloons over our heads

we saw a few performers and slot machine!! who were right before jeff. finally got to see them live and ohmygod did they pop off!! at one point they were in front of us just tearing up the stage for ages, they threw guitar picks at us haha (I did not catch one lol)

and then jeff.....look we all know how that went down

but here's a screenshot of when he Looked at me the first time and i fucking realized if I can see them.....they can see me. no??? jfc i think i like super reacted, flailed backwards a bit I think. i prefer to not beobserved okay?? but anyway and that's why he came for my throat later i believe. demon

then look after jeff it was just jumpscare after jumpscare, bumping into his band member at midnight in our hotel lobby (all the musicians and sound crew were having a big drinking party on the steps of the hotel. jeff wasn't there tho) and then the next morning bumping into rasika checking out etc etc

okay some of my fits on the trip! day 1, then jeffy day and the next travel day, which ended up being the Day we followed Jeff and his team around at the airport, unintentionally

each of these in front of the cupboard nowhere near as good as jeffs lol

some of the treasures i got at the show! these are mainly bread's amazing creations. @patpran thank you so much i adore my jeffy cat stickers ;.;

also (made by another fan) the jeffy pop socket i'm screaming,,,,,should i put it on my phone..

okay now bkk!! i got a few street shots cause i love doing that

then witnessed jeff on the bts and found some cat pants

and went plus size shopping at platinum mall. i knew about the names before hand but oh my god im laughing

and then!!! bang sue junction, which is mile and apo's fav hang out spot for vintage shopping. sadly we didn't bump into them. but it was such an awesome place to explore

we also wrote a lil letter each and wrapped up some presents to send to jeff. i would like to say it takes 2+ ppl to puzzle out a thailand post box and how to put it together (and there was only 2 of us at that point lol ;.;)

okay i was gonna add more but that's heaps, i think. despite my brain being frazzled 24/7 on this trip it was a good one. thank you so much to @patpran who showed me all the cool places and was a very lovely travel partner!!! you were awesome!!!

i'm honestly so grateful i got to go, and have these experiences ahhhhh, i'm gonna treasure it (sorry post trip emo-ness) anyway i gotta get back to work now but, if you've read this far, you're a star haha <3

[paxopalotls]

RAHH i just read both your tue danny / phantom / dan centric works, and how does it feel to be so correct and compelling and correct? more seriously - what about TUE / TUE Danny do you find most interesting to explore? do you have any characterization / headcanon that isn't necessarily canon compatible? and free space (please ramble about them as much as you want)

Sorry it's taken me so long to go through my inbox! I hope you don't mind the long text; TUE is one of my favorite episodes and Dan is a character that I find very fascinating.

Thank you for the kind words aahh! I don't often write so it means a lot that you liked my works. For context if anyone else is reading this, I wrote a couple IB fics about Dan/Phantom, and my thoughts about him, which I'll elaborate on here.

I have a lot of feelings about Dan, especially since he as a character is so tragic. It's strange to me that no one ever mentions the fact that when Vlad performed the removal of Danny's human half, it was Phantom that betrayed Vlad, not the other way around. I always thought that meant there was something wrong with Dan after the accident also. I delve into it a little in my fic, but I do have more thoughts about his attitude. It's interesting to me that the comic portrays his actions as being motivated by Vlad's self preservation and selfishness, and I don't necessarily disagree, but I do think it's more complicated than that. I personally believe his actions have a very complex motivation, more than just "Vlad is evil so fusing with him made Danny also evil".

It's difficult to deal with grief, and from the few scenes shown, it seems Dan dealt with it by shutting down. I also think he had a lot of conflicting feelings of grief and rage; Danny was the one who regularly defeated the ghosts, but he was also the one protecting them from the human ghost hunters, releasing the ghosts back into the GZ rather than allowing them to be taken for experimentation. I think it would anger him that his lenience towards the ghosts was taken advantage of, leading to the deaths of his friends and family. Vlad never showed an inclination towards abusing the ghosts, so this is what I believe caused him to do such uncharacteristically violent things like paralyze Johnny 13 from the waist down, permanently damage one of Box Ghost's eyes and one of his hands, and destroy Ember's vocal cords.

Something I touched on in my fic too is that I believe Danny has a weird relationship with death, due to the fact that he managed to come back from it, and also due to the general existence of ghosts in his life. AGIT states that all ghosts are people who've died, as well as that some lose their humanity over time. Due to this, I have a belief/theory that Dan expected his friends, if not family, to come back, and when they didn't, he dealt with his loneliness through anger. In TUE, he acts like he doesn't care about any of them, but I think he actually cares too much. He is caustic and taunting towards them, his parents especially, because his anger at them for hurting him is compounded by his grief at their loss.

In addition, the interference of Clockwork probably also contributed to his anger; there are two timelines that exist, the one where Danny lost and the one where he didn't, and the only reason that he won was because of the interference of Time himself. I think this is a lot of what motivates Dan's actions in TUE; he's trying to prove to Danny that the timeline is "inevitable" because he's trying to prove it to himself. His loved ones have already died, and he's angry that this alternate Danny gets a second chance. The only moment of true vulnerability we see in him during TUE is when he realizes that Jazz, his Jazz from his timeline, had always known who he was. It's obvious that despite his efforts to seem unemotional about everything, all of his actions are due to his turbulent emotions, and this is even more evident in canon due of AGIT confirming that ghosts are beings of emotion.

I do think Vlad's emotional state also compounds with this, since Vlad as a character is more prone to hiding his hurts than Danny, which is a large part of what makes up Dan's personality. In addition, Vlad's character is largely driven by a desire for family and affection, but he responds to this insecurity with a need for control and self-aggrandizement. Vlad's goals throughout the show are to amass power, largely to prove himself to those he cares about - Danny and Maddie - as well as to spite those he hates - Jack. His feelings for Jack seem more complicated than that, however; he is upset at what he sees as a betrayal by someone he obviously cared about; the two of them were best friends and roommates before Maddie was in the picture.

I think both Danny and Vlad center a lot of themselves on the people they love, though it's more evident on Vlad's side, and Dan as a combination of them does as well. His tendency is often similar to "splitting" in BPD, where he responds to a perceived betrayal or personal weakness with volatility, which is something Vlad does as well, with Jack, Maddie in some ways and especially with Danny. Dan as well responds with hostility towards people he is attached to who he perceives as hurting him, something that is complicated by the fact that part of what he blames them for is the fact that they died. He is especially ruthless with people he sees as betraying him or his lenience, like Valerie and the ghost rogues gallery; this is also a combination of Vlad and Danny's personalities. Vlad's hatred tends to be more long-standing than Danny's but he also tends to be more methodical with his actions. Danny on the other hand responds to his own anger with immediate aggression, but lets go of slights relatively quickly. Dan, as the combination of the two, holds grudges for a long time, but tends to rely on brute force rather than long term plans like Vlad would have.

He also has a lot of self-loathing, which he projects onto Danny and Vlad from this timeline, Danny especially. As I mentioned earlier, a large factor in this is Clockwork's direct involvement in the current timeline, which superseded his. In addition, I think that Danny and Vlad's interpersonal dynamic might have fed into this; both of them can't bring themselves to permanently harm the other but they do both hold some level of resentment for the other, Danny more-so since Vlad has an attachment to him. Danny's hatred for Vlad especially seems to derive in part from his own fears about himself and his selfishness, and I think that influences the way Dan interacts with both of them.

TLDR: Dan's specific concoction of mental illness derives from both Vlad and Danny, which affects a lot about how he acts and feels. There's a lot to explore about his trauma and how that relates to his new place in the current timeline, and I have a lot of feelings about him. (He makes me sad!!)

[scorchedthesnake]

March 7, 2011

I moved to New York City in August 2010. My life before New York was something I’d grown completely unsatisfied with: I had moved to Connecticut for graduate school in 2001, had weathered two recessions in the relative security of academe but could see the writing on the wall for the doom of that profession and so had, via my teaching assistants union, begun to work for our international union as a communications staffer. This had given me a way out of Connecticut, though escaping the cultish environment of the union would still take a few more years.

The person I was back then was very unlike the person I am now. I wasn’t very much fun those first nine months in the city because I was just so afraid of everything. Bars scared me; too many strangers. Clubs scared me; too dark and too many unknowns and unpredictable scenarios. I was happy to be in a new place but petrified by what that freedom actually meant, and I had yet to find any place to belong or feel at home in.

I worked on 7th Avenue back then, around 27th Street. I remember sitting in my dreary cubicle that Monday, when I got a message from my best friend Matt, asking me if I wanted to go to a show that evening. No, I said, I really just want to go home and hide from the world. It’s the show John (O’Malley) is working on, he said, and he got us comps. Well what kind of show is it, I asked? “We’re gonna, like, chase sexy dancers around a warehouse.” Oh god that sounds so stupid, do I have to? “Just come with me, if you hate it you can leave.” 

So around 7pm I walked over to 10th Avenue and the block was so dumpy back then – junkyards, warehouses, not much else. I saw a small line of people gathered at the address I’d been given, so I approached and was handed this card:

I don’t remember anything about checking in or what it was like seeing Manderley for the first time, though I do remember Maximilian being there, giving a short speech and then we were taken to the elevator. I remember getting off the elevator on 3, and taking far too long to explore an empty Macbeths bedroom before, I suppose, figuring out I should investigate the other floors.

I’ve told this story often, though: at some point I came across an extremely attractive man moving quickly, so I did what it seemed like many others were doing: I followed him. We were in the 2nd loop by now, and I had realized it was a loop; but my target soon was running down High Streeet and through a darkened door and it slammed in my face and, to my surprise, was locked.

Oh, there are secret things all over here, aren’t there?

So I picked up his trail again as soon as I could, and stuck as close as I could. Including when we stumbled down all the flights of stairs and I wondered, should I call for help? Is the performer injured? But I stuck to him like glue and when he again approached that darkened door I was close enough to get inside.

And so the highlight of my first show was seeing Luke Murphy in interrogation.

After the finale I reconnected with Matt. We had, of course, seen completely different shows. As we exited we saw John. “Did you get any one on ones,” he asked? One on whats? “Well, I had one where the man in the lobby took me into a room and started putting on makeup.”

No we hadn’t seen anything like that. We immediately set about buying tickets for later in the six-week run. And we wandered the streets for a couple hours after that, comparing notes, feverishly reconstructing what we had just experienced. 

Obviously I did not sleep that night.

So much of the time you don’t know when everything has changed. You realize it long after the fact and in retrospect. Not this, this I knew was a fundamental shift. I’d never felt my senses at full alert like that, my mind racing trying to make sense of something so visceral. The music rang in my ears for hours, days later, and I knew when I came back, I’d need a plan.

[davidchiemcore]

transcript for DRDT Prologue Episode Five

Xander: All right, we did it! We introduced ourselves to everyone, Ms. Teruko!

Teruko: To be honest, you did most of the talking. I didn’t say too much; I’m not very good with people.

Teruko: Anyway, it seems like no one else has a clue as to what’s going on right now.

Eden: What do we do now? Should we just wait here?

Charles: Obviously not. What would that accomplish?

Hu: Perhaps we should explore the building further. Most of us came directly to this room.

David: I agree. If we look around, we’ll probably find some more clues, if not an exit.

Rose: What if we’re stuck here forever?

J: Don’t say that! How can you be so sure?!

Whit: I think we should all just lie down and take a nap. Kidding.

Ace: Let’s find whoever’s responsible for kidnapping us and beat the shit out of them!

Teruko: …Seems like we can’t even reach an agreement on what to do next, much less find a solution.

MonoTV: Puhuhu!

Veronika: What was that strange laugh, just now?

MonoTV: (＃°Д°) Sorry to keep you all waiting! I just wanted to make sure you all got to know each other first!

Levi: I believe the voice is coming from the speakers of that big screen.

Teruko: As we all turned to look at the source of the noise, the screen flickered on.

Min: “A brand new tv show… Danganronpa: Despair Time.” Are we doing some sort of TV screening?

MonoTV: ＼(＾o＾)／ No, silly, you’re going to *be* in this show! You are all the participants in an up-and-coming, super-exciting game show, broadcasted to the entire world!

Xander: The hell are you talking about? I’ve never signed up for any such thing. We were supposed to be at the entrance ceremony for Hope’s Peak Academy, so what the hell is going on?!

MonoTV: o(=ω< =)ρ⏜☆ Sorry kids, but your class is canceled! Aren’t you glad you don't have to go to school? No need to thank me!

Charles: This is completely ridiculous. Did you kidnap an entire class of Ultimates to coerce them into performing for some sort of asinine show?

Hu: There must be someone speaking from behind the screen. If we could find that person, we could ask them our questions directly.

MonoTV: (*￣m￣) No need to look for me, I’m right here!

MonoTV: Introduuucing–! The most important character in the cast, MonoTV! That’s me!

Teruko: …

Arturo: What is that ugly object?

Whit: Issat one of those old TV things?

Arei: It’s on some sort of weird pedestal. And it’s on, even though it’s not plugged in anywhere.

Nico: …Oh!

Teruko: Is something the matter?

Nico: ……It’s a cat.

MonoTV: Wrooong! I’m very clearly a dog.

Rose: Umm, you don't look at all like a dog. Aren’t you obviously a cat?

MonoTV: No way! Absolutely not! Could a cat do this?

MonoTV: ………………………………………………woof

Xander: Alright, this situation has got a little too ridiculous. I’m probably having a crazy dream right now. Can someone pinch me awake?

Arei: Okay, if you say so!

Xander: OW! I didn’t say to punch me, that hurt!

Xander: Wait, we’re getting distracted from the real issue at hand! Just what the fuck is going on right now??

Xander: First we all wake up in some weird building, find out we’ve missed the Hope’s Peak entrance ceremony, then this thing shows up and tells us that we’re going to film a TV show?

MonoTV: …

David: Are we not going to get an explanation?

MonoTV: The thing is…

MonoTV: I had this whole bit prepared, where I would explain everything about this premise, in a long and dramatic fashion…

MonoTV: Then I realized that that would take way too long! Besides, the audience has already seen this kind of explanation a bazillion times over, it would be so boring if I dragged it out any longer!

Ace: What the hell are you talking about?

MonoTV: So, I’m just going to explain you guys’ circumstances here as concisely as possible. 

MonoTV: First things first. You guys aren’t going to Hope’s Peak. You missed both the entrance ceremony and your school year by a long shot. A few years, in fact.

MonoTV: You can’t leave this building that you’re currently in. So, get comfortable with the fact that you’re going to live the rest of your life in this confined space.

MonoTV: Don’t worry, there are facilities for everything you need.

MonoTV: If you so desperately desire to escape this place and return to the real world, you can kill someone else here, yadda yadda yadda.

MonoTV: Then you have to do a class trial and get away with your crime or whatever. If the murderer is caught, they get punished.

MonoTV: If they get away with the crime, they can leave this place and everyone else is punished, whatever, same old stuff. Sorry I have to explain all this, workplace requirement.

MonoTV: Weeell, I think that’s it. Are there any more important things I forgot? Otherwise we’re all good to go.

J: Hang on just a sec, you just glossed over a bunch of important things!!

Veronika: If I understood your explanation correctly, the main takeaway is that we can’t leave this place unless we kill someone else.

Ace: W-W-WHAT??? Murder?! There’s no way something like that is gonna happen, right?

MonoTV: Yup, you got that right! The reason you all were brought here was for the filming of the “Killing Game TV Show.” Like it or not, you guys are only here to start killing each other.

Eden: There’s no way any of what you said is true! I refuse to believe it!

MonoTV: Refuse to believe it all you want. You’ll have plenty of time in the next few days to confirm the truth of what I’m saying.

MonoTV: Trust me there’s no avoiding your fates. No escaping outside, no ending to the TV show, no finding a way around this. The killing show is going to happen, whether you accept it or not!

Arturo: You piece of garbage… Do you think you’ll get away with this?

Arturo: People will notice that we’re all missing, and then the police will arrest you!

Rose: That’s right… I don’t think the outside world is going to miss 16 Ultimates.

MonoTV: Puhuhuhu. The outside world?

MonoTV: I said this was a TV show, right? So who do you think is watching it?

Whit: Uh, snuff film enthusiasts?

MonoTV: Everyone in your precious, so-called “outside world” is going to be watching this TV show. They’re gonna watch you all brutally murder each other, and they’ll be fine with it!

MonoTV: This is high entertainment, after all!

J: You’re kidding, right?

MonoTV: I’m just going to be honest with you guys. Y’all have been missing from society for a real long while! And the world’s changed quite a bit! Everyone’s totally ok with watching you all die!

Xander: No way… No way…

Xander: No way anything that you’re saying could possibly be true. I’m still dreaming, aren’t I?

MonoTV: Your participation in this show is not contingent on your acceptance of this situation.

MonoTV: The faster you accept it, the faster you can acclimatize to your environment, so I would suggest that you come to your senses soon.

MonoTV: Well, this concludes my explanation! You are now free to do as you wish. Return to your suites to sleep, explore this building, go to the cafeteria or a snack, whatever you want!

MonoTV: And remember, if at any point you tire of this life here, there’s always that one way out!

MonoTV: Farewell!

Levi: Wait. I just have one question for you.

MonoTV: Hm?

Levi: Are you the one responsible for this situation? Are you the mastermind?

MonoTV: Yup, I’m pretty much the boss of this place! I control everything, from the filming, to the production, to even the 30 second commercials that I’m gonna air on every other channel!

MonoTV: You’ll need a Danganronpa Prime Subscription if you want to skip those commercials!

Levi: I see. In that case…

Levi: Stop talking.

Teruko: Suddenly, Levi lunged at MonoTV and grabbed him high off the ground. He moved so fast; I didn’t even notice that he had moved at first.

MonoTV: YAAAAAAAHH!! What are you doing? This is harassment! Put me down at once!

Levi: If I were to destroy you, this whole “killing game” operation would shut down, right? You are the root of this problem.

MonoTV: Wait! Don’t do it! If you do…

Teruko: …Oh no.

MonoTV: If you do…

Teruko: I have a bad feeling about this.

MonoTV: You’ll be punished.

Teruko: …

Teruko: LEVI, WATCH OUT!!

Levi: ?!

Levi: …

Hu: What just… happened?

Teruko: …

Nico: Y-You almost… almost died…

MonoTV: Do you understand the situation you’re in now?

MonoTV: I enforce the rules around here. Fail to abide by the rules and you will be punished.

MonoTV: There is no escape from this death game.

Eden: N-no…

Eden: Please… I don’t want to hear this anymore… Just let me out…

MonoTV: Sorry, no can do! If you want to get out so badly, well, you know what you have to do for that, right?

Xander: Like hell any of us are going to commit murder! We’re not going to follow your stupid plan!

MonoTV: Say that all you want, but sooner or later you’ll crack!

Levi: Even if I can’t destroy you, I have faith in my classmates that we’ll remain together and not succumb to such a desperate act.

David: Mr. Levi’s right! We’re all going to work together! We’re not going to fight each other like you want us to!

David: Do you really think we’ll lose hope because you say we will? Give us more credit. We are Ultimates, after all.

MonoTV: Whatever you saaay~! Keep telling yourself that!

MonoTV: Well, that’s my cue to leave for real this time! Do whatever you want! After all, you’ll be here for a while. So why not have some fun?

MonoTV: Upupupu!

Prologue - Surviving Students: 16

MonoTV: Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention.

MonoTV: Even if you can find a way to destroy me without getting killed, it’s not going to do anything. There’s someone controlling me, so I’m not the source of this.

MonoTV: You said you wanted to trust each other? Try this one on for size:

MonoTV: The real mastermind is one of you.

MonoTV: Take that information however you will!

MonoTV: That concludes the prologue of this little show! Don’t forget to stay tuned in for chapter 1, dear viewers!

[the-amber-raven]

Random question... No pressure to answer.... But do u perhaps have any prompts for buck&bobby fics... I have a few fics of them that im working on but i wanna try writing smth simple for a writing exercise since i havent been writing very much lately

Alright so I don't know if I am the best person to ask this because really this is just a list of the stuff I'd love to read... and there's enough of it that I waited until I could answer this on my computer instead of typing it out on my phone 😂 Also a lot of these ended up kind of related to some of the texts I included in the texting fic, probably because I went through so much of the canon for it that they're all front of mind, but you could probably also use some of those sections to help augment some of these ideas??

But some Buck&Bobby related ideas that I reckon would be great fun to explore:

Bobby and Probie Buck at the Springsteen concert. I feel like this is a criminally underused plot point from the pilot episode that I desperately wish more fics touched on. Like what made grouchy Captain Nash decide to go to a Springsteen concert with the probie that was driving him nuts?? Did he have the tickets and he thought maybe the bonding activity would help him connect with Buck thus making him more likely to listen to him? Were they Buck's tickets and he didn't have anyone to go with and he totally faux-casually was like "hey Bobby you're a Springsteen guy, you want to join me? Totally fine if not though!!" except despite trying so hard to keep his cool everyone could see how insecure he was feeling about having no one to go with and Bobby felt bad for him so he agreed to go? Were there shenanigans at the concert? I had Buck planning to like walk somewhere less crowded and then order an uber to get home in the texting fic and I totally imagined Bobby just going "........ this is how get murdered get in my car I'm driving you home."

The Pops nickname, which is the other criminally underused little detail from the pilot. Given we only heard about it then, my headcanon is that Buck was kind of using it as a teasing nickname that was a mixture of him trying to fit in at the firehouse by giving Bobby a mocking nickname that was probably on the edge of disrespectful (like a "wow, you're old, Pops" sarcastic kind of vibe) and partly way too real except he wasn't in a position to admit his terrible relationship with his father then. Which is why I think he then stopped doing it - getting fired made him rethink things, gave him more respect for Bobby so he retired the kind-of mocking feedback and buried the "desperate for a dad" even further... but I would love to see him then break out the Pops later on in the canon, where it actually flips to a mark of the respect and appreciation that Buck has for Bobby's role in his life. So I guess in terms of writing a story, something like an "X times Buck made fun of Bobby by calling him Pops, and X times Buck used it to mean 'you're my real dad'." (Bonus points for having him call him that in front of Phillip Buckley? 😂)

Buck returning to work after the lightning strike. I feel like there's something really interesting you could pull from this part of the canon. Because Bobby is clearly concerned about Buck (he hovers around him when he's doing crowd control instead of being, you know, with the patient and he gives him the perfect performance review score) but he's also clearly trying to act on the lessons he learned during the ladder truck era - namely that he can't wrap Buck up in cotton wool and keep him from doing the job he loves. So there's something in the conflict he must be feeling around that time (and I headcanon that he doesn't let Buck up the ladder for months, a mission that is aided and abetted by Chimney and Eddie). But there's also something in the fact that Buck actually wasn't as keen to get back as he had been during the ladder truck. It could be a fun reversal of roles story, where Bobby gets overly enthusiastic about getting Buck back on the roster ASAP when he gets cleared to show that he's listened and he wants Buck back but it's actually Buck this time who has to tell him that he wants to take it a bit slower and take his time.

Ladder truck recovery period. We know from 3x01 that Bobby accompanied Buck to some of his PT sessions and was involved quite a bit in his recovery - I've touched on it in the texting fic and in words, how little they mean but I've always wished there were stories that explored this era because it's such an interesting part of their journey - Bobby feels so guilty over the bombing, and he's also come to care for Buck a lot but he's also refusing to admit it's a father/son relationship even though it's exactly how he's acting...

Tsunami AU - there is exactly one thing that would make the tsunami arc better for me and that is if the 118 found out that Buck and Christopher were caught up in the tsunami way earlier than all of them converging at the field hospital. I would love to see a fic where Bobby (and the others) get sent to the firetruck and get told about the off-duty firefighter named Buck who saved them all but was swept away by the receding wave alongside his kid (and yes I know I did this exact scenario in mortifying ordeal but it's not the same because Bobby actually is Buck's (adoptive) dad in that one so different dynamics at play than the canon one)

Something to do with the Buckley parents - maybe like 5 times Bobby learns something about the Buckleys (maybe stuff like they're teachers, Buck used to hurt himself to get their attention, they skipped Maddie's wedding because they didn't approve of her husband, they kept their dead son a secret and didn't even tell their other son, and I don't know something totally random (maybe how they seem to have plenty of money - they invested in Hershey and that's why they live there??)) + the time he finally meets them (you could do Buck Begins, but I think it could be even more interesting if it's during the lightning strike)

And one more that came to mind when I was thinking about Buck Begins - the missing scene of Bobby talking to Buck after they pull him out of the factory fire. I was so devastated when I found out they deleted a scene showing them talk AND HUG and oh my god would I love to see it play out in a fic at least.

Lol these were probably way longer or detailed than you might have wanted or expected 😅 But I do hope one of these might inspire the muse and get those creative juices flowing! I know I would be intrigued to read any one of them 👀

[lemonhemlock]

Hello there 👋 some thoughts, if you will:

1) i think tensions are always high during the show. people are upset headcanons aren’t correct, they’re upset stories aren’t going where they wanted. they take this out on other fans who also wanted different stories, but in another way. in a few weeks i predict much cooler waters, because the ones who get angry with nothing to show for it will burn themselves out, and the ones who head for ao3 will be doing that

2) ship wars ramped up before the season, but having no content on any side didn’t help things. much like last season, it’s down to the smallest looks and moments. which we can also see as a positive! so much to dig into! lots to explore for all our favorite siblings 🤗 (i also think, unfortunately, helaemond being brought up a bit on the press tour only added fuel to the fire. the actors were very kind about it, but the fact that they didn’t immediately say “impossible, she’s married to the other brother” made one side angry, and the fact that the actors attempted to hype up what little interactions Helaemond had made the other side frenetic. can’t win for losing.

3) we have two years to digest this! gods know HBO is not rushing into getting this out. however you feel, there is a lot of time to sit with it and respond. we literally haven’t seen the full finale yet 😭 who knows, maybe there are still things to be enjoyed!

hope you have a great day!

bestie i don't know where you got the impression we have things to digest because we have even less interaction between the green siblings than we did in s1 😭

ship wars are never going to die, unfortunately, at some point you just have to blast von dutch and laugh at the clownery

as for people being disappointed: it's one thing to be disappointed bc your headcanons didn't come true and bc they settled on a different interpretation of events. but ripleystark said it the best: do these characters have internal integrity? can you get them from point A to point B in a believable way? is there a progression? do they have a clearly defined motive? or do you have to perform in the mental gymnastics olympics in order to explain their actions? that's another thing entirely. forget book purism. do these characters make sense in the story on screen or are they pastiches and mouthpieces and narrative devices?

there is a way to make anything work if you put effort into it. there is a way to write alicent betraying her entire family as organic. i wouldn't agree with it and think it a dumbass change, but it can be done by a competent writer! just like there is a way to make helaena fatalistic and forsake both her brothers in a compelling way.

there is a way to write regicide aegond and stick the landing. for example, why isn't aemond preoccupied by the fact that aegon is conscious and walking around and getting stronger? and, honestly, WHY is aemond still prince regent if aegon woke up and understands his bearings? aegon knows what happened, and, even if he didn't, larys impressed the danger upon him. why isn't he dismissing aemond and throwing his ass in jail if he is so terrified of him? this whole "escape" storyline works if RHAENYRA is about to invade, BUT NOT for aemond! aegon is the king, it doesn't matter if he is invalid, he can still order people about. did they not make a huge case about viserys dragging his corpse to the iron throne to rule in rhaenyra's favour? so many logical inconsistencies like this.

perhaps the last episode will be slightly better with context, but i don't see how it can be MUCH better and address all of these problems in one hour of screen time

[mm-nani-fics]

[PondPhuwin + Firstkhao Fic] Scent of a Boyfriend

I was chatting with @namtantam about how many billion WIPs we have AND ALSO about how Khaotung should kiss EVERYONE anyway here is me trying to share more of my WIPS and also Khaotung and Phuwin making out. Hope this encourages you to keep working on yours bb!!!!!

pair: khaotung/phuwin (for this excerpt), overall fk+ppw foursome rating: teen (for this part); making out and drug use summary: phuwin gets khaotung high and the thing about khaotung is that he's such an agreeable stoner

----

Khaotung always thought Pond and Phuwin would be too loud to make for company he would enjoy. But then they’d gone to Japan together and he doesn’t know if it’s achieving that milestone together, performing in a foreign country where none of them can speak the language or realizing that Pond was just as much of an overeager puppy as First, but he kind of likes hanging out with them now.

Or it might be that Phuwin has a very large, very beautiful house and weed so good that it feels like it should be illegal. 

Khaotung is floating, pleasantly high, unperturbed by whatever ruckus Pond and First are creating, all the way over on the other side of the room that’s as big as Khaotung’s little apartment. 

He’s humming along to Phuwin strumming a few lazy chords on his guitar, content enough that it doesn’t really register when he’s stopped, the simple melody still playing in his head when Phuwin kisses him. 

Khaotung’s immediate thought is to stop it but his slow reflexes keep him in the kiss long enough to realize that his boyfriend is in the room, as is Phuwin’s. There’s more to this kiss than some cheap thrill of adultery, but figuring out what that is, is beyond Khaotung’s current brain capacity. 

He figures if he keeps kissing Phuwin, Phuwin will eventually tell him. 

Phuwin’s fingers come up to rest on his neck as he deepens the kiss, his long fingers tapping a rhythm that Khaotung immediately recognizes as what he was just playing on his guitar. Khaotung keeps the melody alive in his head to the beat of Phuwin’s fingers as Phuwin slowly runs his tongue over his lips. Like a good guest, Khaotung’s lips fall open, letting Phuwin’s tongue continue its slow exploration.

Phuwin does pull away eventually, maybe even too quickly. Khaotung doesn’t really understand the passage of time at the moment, they could have been kissing for a whole day but he does kind of want to keep doing it. He darts a quick curious glance to where First and Pond are arguing over whether or not a college girlfriend is enough to make Pond’s sim bisexual. 

They haven’t seemed to have noticed Khaotung and Phuwin making out and it’s been long enough that even Khaotung is in need of answers, ‘What was that for?’ He asks when Phuwin finally pulls away. At the end of the day, he’s pretty tired and Phuwin’s weight on top of him does feel kind of nice.

Phuwin’s answering smile is playful, ‘Did you like it?’

‘Yeah, but-’ Khaotung tilts his head just so over in the direction of their boyfriends planted in front of the television.

Phuwin raises an eyebrow at him with a hint of incredulity, ‘My boyfriend really wants to fuck yours. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed? He’s not particularly subtle about it.’

And this time when Khaotung turns to look at them, Pond has somehow flung himself onto the beanbag First was perched on and they are engaging in what Khaotung thinks is a tickle fight. It isn’t entirely subtle but Pond is certainly more subtle than Phuwin.

Khaotung turns back to Phuwin with his mouth in a little circle. He’s surprised but at the same time it does explain a few things about Pond’s little imprinting onto First situation.

[zmayadw]

Okay, so I feel a bit calmer this morning, even though I still feel very much sad and disappointed with the whole Moonvale thing, but I'd like to share a few thoughts with you all, both bad and good, concerning the game.

And if you know me by now, you also know I can't write short posts expressing myself, so feel free to skip this long post! 😅

Alrighty, so let's begin:

From the moment Everbyte announced Moonvale I was very excited. As Duskwood was an amazing game, I only expected for the new game to be even more amazing. Logical, right? I never expected it to be a Duskwood sequel, and that was absoluetly ok for me, because no matter how much we all wanted and hoped for it, I was more than willing to give the team that made so wonderful and amazing game as Duskwood a chance to amaze me once more. And when they said that Duskwood will be a part of the new game as a side story, that excitement was only getting bigger.

And so here we are, two agonizing years of waiting later, only to be welcomed with this huge disappointment.

When I started with Moonvale, I really took it slowly, exploring everything carefully before even opening the chat and actually starting with the game and the story itself. And lo and behold, what do I see? No possibility for a premium package, but a lot of options for a ridiculously priced packages to buy jewels for, at that moment, who knew what, but I had a suspicion what it was for. Nonetheless, I dissmissed it for the time being, even though it was getting me a bit frustrated, and decided to move on and start with the story.

The story itself started quite good. I even started to laugh at one point realizing and thinking to myself Gosh, those Everbyte people really like the woods! The character/actor of Eric is nice, I like him, even though he seemes to be pretty clumsy! 😄

Now, the actor/character of Adam is probably the one of the rare things that amazed me from the start! His performance was so great, and I think I read it in someones post this morning how someone also thought he looks alike Rami Malek, and that was my first thought, too! Ok, so far not bad at all one would think, right? Wrong!

At first I didn't really pay attention to, or even realized it, but as other characters started to appear in the game, everything started to scream AI. The chats with those characters just didn't really feel right, you know? And I was really appalled by it. I mean, come on Everbyte, did we really come to this? Are you doubting in your capability of creating something great so much, when we know you damn well CAN do it? Or has the usage of AI became so much needed/mandatory ( I don't know what word to put here really or to explain it better), that you cannot do anything without it? Considering so many creators of all kinds are fighting so hard to stop it from being used in everything, I suppose no. But then again, I don't know if my knowledge about it is sufficient enough, but I can voice out my opinion, and I don't like it at all!

Ok, I have to admit, the chat with Ash about us and Duskwood wasn't bad,or the chat between Ash and Charlie about us, but that is all good(ish) I can say about that.

By this time I was really getting annoyed and frustrated, and as some of you might saw one of my post from yesterday, when it gotten really interesting in the story and my insufficient amount of jewels prevented me from seeing some photos/videos, I was so fucking angry and disappointed that I was very VERY close to just drop the whole thing and stop playing. But I continued, just for the sake to finish it.

And when I finally did finish it, not even the last video of Alan's body camera, or the message after that from Jake, lifted my spirit. All I could think of was how sad and disappointed I was. :(

I really expected an amazing and great game from Everbyte, considering Duskwood is one of THE BEST games I have played. But to get money grabbing, AI screaming thing, that was looking so promising...it just saddens me. I know they need to make money somehow, I'm well aware of it, but not like this. Not like this!

Will I continue playing it? Yes, I probably will, but mostly because I want to see how it will continue with the Duskwood sidestory. Also, I read people are considering using the mod pack if/when it becomes available so they can see the premium/special options, but I won't do that. I don't judge anyone here, do what you want, this is just my opinion, but no matter what, I still have respect towards the creators, and using those mod packs just doesn't feel right to me.

So again, yes, I will continue with Moonvale, but neither will I pay for special options (unless they by some miracle make it like with Duskwood, which I doubt but one can hope!), nor will I use the mod pack of any kind. And I really REALLY hope by all thats sacred, that as the Duskwood side story advances, those jewels won't be necessary to use there, because in that case, that's it from me, sayonara/ goodbye/farewell/adios to Moonvale completely. At least I will always have Duskwood.

Thanks to anyone who managed to read till the end! 💚 Take care all, and let's hope that all this won't get any more worse than it already is!

[podklb]

Nate-Centric Fic Recs: Part 1 (Gen)

This is my first post in ages, because I have decided I have something of value to contribute! And that is my knowledge of excellent fics about Nathan Shelley. I love pretty much all the characters on Ted Lasso, but Nate is my favorite, I’ve got a bit of a mental collection of great Nate fics, so I thought I’d type it out and share it with the world. 

When I started to write this out, I realized that I have too many recs for a single post, so this one is just for gen fic, and shipfic will be in a separate post.

Nathan Shelley Gen Fic Recs

do you believe in ghosts? by @atlanticsea, ~2.5k. A character study of Nate’s journey through S1 and S2, gorgeously written with a very cool ghost metaphor woven throughout.

talk about me, make it all about you by @ohlafraise, ~1K. Nate and Jamie run into each other in S3. This fic is thoughtful, funny, insightful, and deeply satisfying, all in under 1000 words!

he can’t play it any faster when he plays the blues by @thatsparrow, ~3.5K. Rupert takes Nate out for drinks after work. This has a fantastic Nate POV that lets him be complicated about Ted and Beard and Rupert and beautifully explores all of his layers of feelings on top of feelings throughout the evening.

I Knew I Was Right (I Learned I Was Wrong) by @fandomfrolics, ~6.5K. After Nate leaves West Ham, Rebecca invites him to spend several days on her yacht. Beard tags along. The connections Nate has with both Beard and Rebecca and the way they unpack their past hurts and slowly begin to move to a different place than they started from is fascinating. This story understands all three characters extremely well.

Kitman, Backup, Wonderkid by @bisexualshakespeare, ~.5K. This is actually a filk, which means a fannish song! I love this type of fanwork and Ted Lasso fandom has very few, but we are very lucky that the ones we have are by bisexualshakespeare, who is one of the best filk lyricists I've ever encountered. This song is to the tune of Loser Geek Whatever from Be More Chill and it's absolutely perfect. Please PLEASE if you check this out, actually listen to the performance of the song, which is emotional and devastating in the best way. The lyrics are a perfect encapsulation of the headspace Nate would have gotten to by the S2 finale, and S3 so far has made it just age better and better. If you are a Nate fan, this is worth the 6 minutes of your time that it will take to listen to it, I promise.

Self-Care Tips for Lonely, Bitter-Hearted Fools by @boglady, ~5.5K. This is a character study of Nate via a bunch of self-care advice that is extremely unhelpful/frustrating/condescending because it doesn't acknowledge or address his actual needs. Kind of like most of the well-meaning advice he gets in canon! This fic is so smart about Nate and about retelling canon moments from his POV. Very formative to me when I first fell in love with this character and was gobbling up every fic I could find about him.

For a Minute There I Lost Myself by @boasamishipper, ~7.5K. Nate muddles through figuring out who he is as a head coach at West Ham. It takes him some time, but it's a beautiful journey, and the West Ham player OCs are well-developed and delightful! I love that this fic is about Nate continuing his journey on his own, that his growth here comes purely from figuring himself out, and he doesn't need the other Ted Lasso characters to do any of that work for him. He's got this!

Can't Take Them Anywhere by @hacash, ~2K. The history of kit man Nate's very detailed and specific list of what to not do with hotel furniture. One of the tags is "potentially the real Nate Shelley villain origin story" and that captures so much of what I love about the fic. It's hilarious and fun! While at the same time there's a real undercurrent of how deeply messed up and unfair it is for all the players to be so immature and self-centered and for Nate to constantly be the one who has to clean up their messes! A delightful romp, but with weight to it. Perfection.

Leave Elegance to the Tailor by TwelveLeagues, ~3.5K. Nate shops for a suit with Ted, then with Keeley, and then with Rupert. Like everything TwelveLeagues writes, this has incredible nuance and character insight in pretty much every sentence. Seeing the way Nate changes over time is painful, and the end is devastating, but there's also hope because throughout the earlier scenes we've seen so thoroughly who Nate is at his core and that he's so much more than the terrible situation he ends up in.

[chrysanthemumgames]

Hello!  I love your game! I always liked reading about antiquity, and this game is such a lovely way to have some fun with Greek myths. Your writing is wonderful: the pacing is nice, the language is very eloquent, and the characters are charming—considering that it is only a WIP, you've done such an amazing job! I don't think I've even noticed any bugs or typos! This is brilliant! 

I loved the moment when Hades and the MC greet Hera, and if you play as "on the more socially-graceful side" Persephone, Hera recognises it and comments on how your character "rather effectively covers [Hades'] weaknesses." And then later, the game also says: "You can manage well enough with it, and you think your participation probably smooths out what might have otherwise been a few minor bumps in things." I really like the idea that a charming consort doesn't clash with Hades, but sort of complements and completes him, that your differences don't impede your coregency but strengthen it (personally, I'd love to become a proper Marie-Antoinette, a charming social butterfly overshadowing my socially awkward husband, lol, but never mind that).

Also, I am so excited to see what will come out of the possibility of starting your own cult! With a temple, too! Oh! I really hope we'd get to interact with our followers more, solving their problems, sure, but also just having fun, you know? I mean, having more of a "Cult of Dionysus" rather than "Eleusinian Mysteries". Because, so far it sort of feels like we don't play as much as "Demetra's child" but rather as "customisable Persephone". I love Dionysus, and I think it would be great if we had a choice to lean more towards Dionysus than Persephone. Because as it is now, most (if not all) details, in choices and in flavour text, relate much more to Persephone, like being a deity of spring (and not harvest, fruits, or vine) or having a very plant-based magic (and not something more chaotic and unhinged). Which is to be expected, of course, and I'm not saying that something should be different, this is literally the premise of the game, I understand that, but I think it would be cool to have a chance to choose something more Dionysus-related, perhaps in later chapters. I mean, like, for example:  

1) when Charon asks: "What would you like out of your time here?" to be able to answer something like "just to have fun" or "throw a party";

2) or when Pyri asks: "What do you do?" have choices like "theatre", "dancing", or "playing music and singing" (I think this kind of falls into the "exploring the arts" category, so I'm not saying there should be an extra choice as such but rather perhaps just a little mention of theatre and music in the following flavour text?);

3) or when the game says: "In between the work of getting your garden established, you find that over the next few weeks you have a fair bit of free time to spend as you like" choose to do something more chaotic? Boisterous? Wild? Like, get really wasted? Have a party with some souls? Organise a theatre performance? The present choices are totally fine, but they all do seem quite... tame. But perhaps in the future, we get to do something more rowdy? Unhinged even?

4) or have an option to decorate your head with grapes and ivy;

5) or be able to grow grapes in your garden? We can, of course, grow berries, fruits, and vegetables, so, again, I'm not saying there should be an extra choice, but perhaps just a bit of additional flavour text?

But again, this is just some backseat comments; feel free to ignore them! The main thing that I wanted to say is that your WIP is beautiful, and I really hope you won't abandon it! I am so very excited to see it finished! And I'm sorry this turned out to be so long! It's OK if you just leave it unanswered!

Hi there!

I'm really glad you're enjoying FoA; I have to admit that there are typos, though, so I'll call myself lucky that you haven't found any. ^^;

As to your suggestions, definitely reasonable of you to notice that the Dionysus-flavored options are not yet as prominent. One of the things I have slated for my eventual big editing phase is putting more of those in; some of them may even look like yours, as you've spotted quite a few places where they might fit.

Generally, the move to more revelry/wine/overall unhingedness is meant to be a move, rather than something the PC can be equally at the beginning alongside the spring/life/plant stuff, so there won't be loads of opportunities for it right off the bat, but I do want to add more as the story progresses, and I've admittedly been kind of neglecting that so far. Fair point. :)