#as for me i always think her mom is the one with the noble blood and she's called larena arduenna of the uplands

[festivating]

Hey, weird question. I always see in stories people referring to Glinda's parents as Larena Upland and Highmunster Arduenna, but I went to double-check in the first book and she mentions twice that the Arduenna clan name comes from her mother's side. She says in the second chapter: 'Then I must overcome my natural shyness. My name is Galinda. I am of the Arduenna Clan on my mother’s side.' And then when they are meeting the Wizard: 'Oh, you useless thing, all talk and no—I’m Glinda from Frottica, if you please, Your Highness, descended matrilineally from the Arduennas of the Upland, and this, if you please, is Elphaba, the Thropp Third Descending from Nest Hardings. If you please.'

So I was wondering if you know how family names work in the Oz lore. Such as, if Highmunster is actually Upland, would Larena be called Lady Upland? I've been trying to write for practice, and the last name situation always gets me stuck.

Ah yes. The confusion regarding Glinda's parents comes from Maguire retconning her mother's last name in the third book. Kind of. Now I may be wrong about this but we never learn anything of Glinda's dad in the first book, it was always her mother brought up as being "of the Arduennas of the Upland." That made me think "Arduennas of the Upland" was the whole nobility thing and Glinda's dad was just some random guy, hence why her "good blood" was only from "one side."

BUT THEN. In the third book there's a very stupid and pointless family tree that shows her mother as an Upland and her father as an Arduenna. And in the fourth book, Glinda even refers to her mother as an Upland, and that as the reason why they're filthy rich. In my opinion that's just a continuity error? Because then does that mean the Uplands are the ones with the noble blood? And her father was an Arduenna this whole time when he was never mentioned before?

Maguire. What. Tbh, to this day I still don't know if I'm missing something there.

As to whether or not she'd be called Lady Upland, that's very much up to you I would say, since you get to assign Glinda's parents whatever last names you prefer thanks to canon being so messy there. Glinda herself is called Lady Chuffrey after she gets married, so there is precedent to women taking their husband's last names!

[kiyomitakada]

Light Yagami is compliant the entire first day they're handcuffed together.

Almost too compliant. L is not ruling out the possibility he'll strangle L in his sleep, hence why, as he shuts the hotel room door behind them, L silently decides he'll use his Whale Sleeping Method (standing up while shutting down alternate halves of his brain) tonight. Unfortunately he isn't quite as good as a whale is yet, but he presumes he'll at least notice Light's hand wrapped around his neck.

"Ryuzaki," Light says on cue, "why is there only one bed."

"That's because only you'll be sleeping," L says. "I am patenting my Whale Sleeping Method."

"The what — actually, I don't want to know." Light digs one thumb into his temple. "You're going to be watching me while I sleep, aren't you."

"Yes," L confirms.

"Right." Light sighs. "I'm sorry, but if you're expecting anything, you'll be disappo…"

He trails off.

L frowns and glances over. "Light-kun?"

"Ryuzaki," Light says extremely evenly, not looking at him: "what's today's date?"

"July 23rd, 2004," L informs him easily.

"July," Light mutters to himself. "J—fuck."

"What is it?" L asks, even as Light tugs him over to the bed in silence and sits with a thump.

"My father was in prison too," he says abruptly. "He said so."

"Yes." L is becoming a little annoyed, and more than a little intrigued. This version of Light Yagami — because he does seem to be a different version — is off in a million ways. He seems truer, more anchored in reality somehow, and yet the workings of his mind are more opaque than ever.

His fingers, L notices, are trembling.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did he go into imprisonment?"

"June first," L says, then — noticing Light's lost expression — "The same day as you."

"I have to go," Light says.

"The bathroom is five meters away from you."

"No, I have to go home. Sayu—"

Light stops. He shuts his mouth with a clack.

"Your younger sister?" What does Sayu Yagami have to do with anything? L could count on one hand the number of times Light has brought her up voluntarily. Is she a pawn? An accomplice?

"I need to go home," Light repeats, still not looking at him.

Instead of answering, L taps his nails against the chain between them. It rings metallically. Light drops his face into his hands.

L presses one finger into the corner of his mouth. Light is concerned about: the current date, his father's date of imprisonment, his sister. L flips through files in his head. Sayu Yagami, student, blood type O—

Ah.

"June eighteenth," L says. "Her birthday."

"I was supposed to take her to a concert," Light mumbles.

"Rather noble of you."

Light glares at him. L is almost taken aback by the genuine venom in it; it lasts for half a second before Light blinks and looks away again. "Mom wouldn't let her go. She'd been to one in March already. We were going to sneak out."

L studies him. This eighteen-year-old boy with every bone in his body calculated to align in only the most disarming of poses, now slumped inelegantly on the edge of a hotel bed. L had always wanted to see how Kira killed; had always wanted to see how Light Yagami's face, that confident and smiling mask, would split to reveal the ugly breathtaking truth of his cruelty.

That's the reason for all of this, isn't it? He wants to see Light honest.

And this — is honesty. Just not where L had expected it.

"Your father was allowed communication in his cell," L informs him. "I am sure he wished her a happy birthday on your behalf."

Light's mouth twists. "She thinks I ran off with Misa."

"Yes," L says. "You came up with the cover story yourself."

"There was something wrong with me then," Light mutters, but without any of his usual conviction. "Give me a phone. She deserves to hear from me."

"I can't do that," L lies.

"You can look at the goddamn texts when I send them, okay? Run it through all the detectors you want, I just — want to talk to her."

L allows himself to stare. Light looks back at him, unflinching. His hand twitches at his side, the same way it had when he'd screamed at L in the hospital when he'd accused Sayu Yagami of fitting Light's profile.

Hm. A hypothesis; an experiment. "One text."

"Fine," Light says too-quickly, and L hands him a burner.

[ @deathnotetober day 4: family ]

[forest-hashira]

Noble Blood - Chapter Ten

...hi guys. long time no see... i promise i didn't mean to make you guys wait almost two months for an update, but. i survived a hurricane and got a new puppy among other Life Things in the meantime, so. you know. also i had to split this chapter yet again, so the events i thought would be contained in one chapter (ch8) now spans four whole chapters, which means more for you guys to read! so i hope that makes up for it.

also, going forward, satoru's mother will be referred to as "gojo-hime", with "-hime" being an honorific used for high ranking/noble ladies. i am aware that gojohime is also a ship, but that is not what i'm referring to in this fic! for clarification purposes it will always include the hyphen in between the name and the honorific. anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

fic masterlist | read on ao3 | wc: ~6.2k | cw: gender neutral reader, the beginning of the aftermath of finding reader's dragon, satoru's dad is once again a dick, light angst, some crying, brief moment of light violence, i think that's it!

You exchanged a baffled look with your friends at the sound of your mother’s rage, though for a moment none of you moved, unsure of what you should do. When the sound of your mother’s voice grew closer, though, her anger practically rattling the walls, you nearly toppled out of your seat in your rush to meet her.

“Ma’am, you can’t go that way without—”

“I will search every inch of this estate if I have to!” your mother interrupted, and you opened the door to the dining room just in time to see her turn on the staff that were attempting to stop her. Her hair was a mess, a bit tangled and clearly unbrushed as it fell around her shoulders. She still wore her robe, a small bit of the fabric of her pajamas peeking out at the neck; it was unclear if she’d slept fitfully the night before, or if she’d even slept at all, but even with signs of sleep draped over her, she was a force to be reckoned with.

“If you do not tell me where my child is right this instant I will tear this house apart, starting right here in the hallway. I’ll pull the floorboards up with my bare hands. What has that man done with my baby?”

The servants in the hallway stood frozen in place, more than one of them having gone pale faced at your mother’s rage, but what drove you to call out to her wasn’t pity, it was the ache in your chest that had been there since you’d been commanded to stay the night away from home.

“I’m here, mom,” you said, stepping out of the dining room, still clutching Takara to your chest. “I’m right here.”

The sound of your voice had your mother whirling around again, her eyes wide as she finally caught sight of you. “Oh thank god,” she choked out, closing the distance between you in just a few steps and falling to her knees before you. With tears in her eyes, she looked you over for any sign of injury, taking your face in her hands and tilting your head back and forth, her voice nearly frantic as she repeatedly asked “What happened? Did they do anything to you? Are you hurt?”

“Nobody did anything to me, I’m not hurt,” you told her, your own eyes filling with tears now that you were reunited with your mother. “I’m okay.”

Your mother seemed to relax a bit at your reassurances, but when Takara let out a small, curious noise from her spot in your arms, your mother startled a bit and looked down. When she caught sight of the creature in your hold, her eyes flew wide again.

“What—”

“She’s mine,” you said quietly. “Her name is Takara.”

As you spoke, Takara shifted slightly in your hold, resting her chin on the side of your hand and looking back up at your mother. She didn’t make a sound, though her emerald eyes remained unblinking all the while.

After another moment of staring at the hatchling in disbelief, your mother lifted her gaze to yours again, and her expression softened a bit. “She’s lovely,” she said quietly. “I told you you’d find your dragon soon, didn’t I?” 

You nodded at her words, but when one of her hands released your face to stroke your hair, you felt your bottom lip begin to tremble as tears filled your eyes. “Yeah,” you agreed. “You did.” You didn’t protest as she carefully wiped away the tear that slipped down your cheek, though she didn’t otherwise acknowledge that you were crying, which you appreciated.

The moment between the two of you came to an abrupt end when Kenji and Niji raced out of the dining room, squeezing themselves between you and your mother, both of them sniffing you all over until the boys called them back. Seeing your friends’ dragons made you realize that your mother’s was absent.

“Where’s Spark?” you asked, brows furrowed slightly.

“Your father made him stay home,” she replied. “He wasn’t handling my mood very well, and probably would’ve just made the situation worse.” She stood, pulling her hands away from your face in the process, and offered you a smile. Exhaustion was plain as day on her face, but it was clear she was trying to hide it for your sake, so you said nothing. 

“Now,” she said, reaching towards you once again, as if to guide you down the hall and out the front door. “We should be getting home, don’t you think?”

Before you could give so much as a nod in response, a familiar voice set your heart racing with anxiety.

“They won’t be going anywhere for the next week,” Gojo-sama said, stepping into the hallway from who knew what room in the house. Despite the early hour, he looked as composed as ever, dressed in clothes that you could tell from barely a glance were more expensive than your family could ever hope to own, his greying hair combed back from his face, not a single strand out of place. His hands were tucked into the sleeves of his shirt, and he wore a placid yet stern expression.

Upon noticing his presence, the servants bowed deeply, then rushed to get out of his way. The rest of you – dragons included – turned to face him, practically frozen in place as you waited for him to speak again. Before you’d had to face him in the dragon housing the night before, you’d never fully understood why people feared your best friend’s father the way they did. It was clear to you now, though; his mere presence was enough to have you shaking, authority and muted anger practically radiating from him.

“And why, exactly, is that?” your mother asked. She was completely rigid at your side, but her voice was steady, not betraying any hesitance or fear she might have been feeling. 

“Because the first week spent with a dragon after bonding with them is an incredibly delicate time, as I’m sure you’re aware,” Gojo-sama replied, his voice dripping with condescension. “And historically, that period is especially precarious and important for metallic dragons and their riders. It’s best to disturb them and their surroundings as little as possible. Which means they’ll both have to stay here for the time being, I’m afraid. They need someone to keep an eye on them, to make sure nothing is going wrong, and that the whole process is as smooth as possible.”

“Are you insinuating that I am not capable of caring for my own child? That our own home isn’t suitable for them and their dragon?” Your mother’s voice was sharper now, a hard edge you weren’t used to hearing from here, even when she was scolding you or disagreeing with your father.

“What if I am? Metallic dragons and their riders deserve the best of everything the world has to offer, and you and I both know which of our families is capable of providing that.” 

The smug expression he wore didn’t last long. Her anger finally seeming to win against her fear of the man, your mother stormed towards Satoru's father and slapped him across the face before anyone else had a chance to stop her. 

You, Satoru, and Suguru watched, wide-eyed, as your mother lifted her hand as if preparing to strike him again, but this time he caught her wrist.

His eyes burned as he glared at her. “I would advise against trying that again,” he growled, voice low and simmering with danger. “Your luck will not be so good a second time.”

“And I would advise you release me right this instant,” your mother bit back. “If you don’t I’ll scream so loud the whole settlement will hear, and I’ll tell every single person that you kidnapped my child. That wouldn’t be a very good look for you, now would it?”

Gojo-sama’s face flushed bright red all over, briefly disguising the handprint your mother had left on his cheek. Even from several feet back, you could see the fury in his cold eyes – the same blue as Satoru’s, but completely lacking the playful warmth – and he only seemed to tighten his grip on your mother’s wrist.

The silence that blanketed the hallway was deafening, no one even seeming to breathe as the stalemate between the two adults dragged on. Just when it seemed that Gojo-sama had decided he was going to exact some sort of punishment against your mother for her behavior, another person stepped into the hallway.

“Goshujin-sama,” the woman called out softly, and your eyes went wide when you realized who she was. With her pale skin and long white hair – an even purer white than Satoru’s, somehow – there was no mistaking the lady of the house; Satoru’s mother, Gojo-hime. You dared a glance over at Satoru, unsure what his reaction would be to seeing his mother intervene in this conflict, especially since you’d gotten the feeling that Satoru didn’t often see his mother, much less outside her bedroom. 

Apparently equally as shocked by the woman’s appearance, both your mother and Satoru’s father turned to look at her. Your mother’s eyes were wide, and for the first time since she’d arrived, she looked almost embarrassed over her behavior. If Gojo-sama harbored such feelings, he did a much better job of disguising them. 

“Gojo-fujin,” the man replied, his tone measured, almost cautious, as he looked over at his wife. “Are you feeling well? I’m sorry if our… unexpected guest has disturbed you at all.” His words earned him a scowl from your mother, though she offered no actual argument, most likely in respect of the woman before her.

“A servant came to fetch me when they noticed your disagreement,” Gojo-hime explained, carefully making her way over to her husband. “I know you both want what is best for the child and their dragon,” she added, placing a hand lightly on her husband’s shoulder once she reached his side. “But you have differing opinions on how to give them that.”

Her gentle gaze landed on her husband’s, and she offered him a smile. “Why don’t you and I discuss it in a bit?” she suggested. “In the meantime, you should let this kind woman return home. She was just worried about her child when they didn’t come home last night. Weren’t you?” 

The last two words were directed at your mother, and she quickly nodded. “Yes, I was,” she agreed. “But I can see now that no harm has come to them. So if you would be so gracious to allow me to return home without argument, Gojo-sama, I will go willingly. And I will only return if I am summoned by you or Gojo-hime.”

Gojo-sama returned his gaze to your mother, clearly not thrilled by the proposal. He also seemed hesitant to disagree with his wife, though you weren’t entirely sure why; Satoru had never mentioned seeing his parents be even remotely affectionate with each other, and you found it hard to believe the man could actually feel love for another person, based on the way he’d treated you since you’d been caught with a metallic hatchling in your arms.

Eventually, though, he let out a sigh, and reluctantly released your mother’s wrist. “Very well,” he said, words clipped. “We will send for you once we’ve reached a decision on how to proceed." His eyes drifted to you for a moment, and he added, “Do not linger longer than you have to.” 

With a nod, your mother was quick to turn away from the man and hurry back to you. She pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly to her chest for as long as she dared. It wasn’t long enough to soothe the ache in your chest, even when she dropped a kiss to the top of your head before she released you.

She turned back to the heads of the family, bowing low and murmuring, “Thank you, Gojo-hime, Gojo-sama,” before making her way down the hall. You understood why she didn’t look back at you again, but every step she took brought you closer to tears.

You startled slightly when a hand landed on your shoulder, but relaxed again when you saw that it was Satoru. More than anything, you wanted to turn and fall into him, to let your tears fall and let him comfort you the way you knew he would, but the humiliation of showing such emotion – which no doubt would be perceived as weakness – in front of Gojo-sama made you feel sick to your stomach. So, instead, you offered your friend a small nod of thanks.

When Gojo-hime called your name, her voice just as soft as before, you both turned back to face her. The smile she gave you was gentle, her eyes warm and kind as she really took in the sight of you. “Would it be okay if we talked for a bit?” she asked. “We can go back to my room, if you’d like. We’ll have more privacy.”

The words had barely left her lips before Satoru’s hand was falling from your shoulder. You were quick to look over at him, and what you saw broke your heart all over again; you’d never seen him look so defeated, apparently resigned to the fact that he was likely never going to get any quality time with his mother ever again, even if other people did. 

Standing on the other side of the snowy haired boy, Suguru caught your attention, his expression painted with a worried frown that mirrored your own. Without even needing to exchange any words, you knew that the two of you were in agreement about what needed to happen.

“Only if Satoru can come with me.” As you spoke, you turned to face your friend’s mother, trying to remain respectful even as you asserted yourself.

Gojo-hime’s sparkling eyes drifted to her son, and her expression softened even more around the edges. “Of course he can come,” she agreed. “I would hate to separate you from your friends.”

Her words had your ears perking up a bit in interest. “Suguru can come too, then?” you asked hopefully; it didn’t seem fair to leave the other boy on his own if you and Satoru were to be whisked away for who knew how long.

“Absolutely, as long as that’s what he wants.” Her eyes drifted from her son to the dark haired boy then, her serene expression never changing. 

Suguru was quick to nod in agreement, though he said nothing.

“Very well then,” Gojo-hime hummed, her gaze meeting yours once again. “You can all follow me.”

Though he barely moved, the woman squeezed her husband’s shoulder for a moment. “I’m more than capable of handling them on my own, goshujin-sama,” she told him. Her smile seemed a bit tighter as she spoke, her words almost too sweet when addressing the man.

Despite obviously being displeased by the unvoiced rejection, Gojo-sama made no attempt to argue, only sighed and nodded. “We will speak about this again later.”

“Of course we will.”

With one last glance at you, the Gojo family patriarch took his leave, heading down an adjacent hallway, heading off to a different part of the estate to… do whatever it was he did all day, you supposed.

“Shall we?” Gojo-hime said, smiling at the three of you and tilting her head slightly in the direction she had first come from.

Wordlessly, you nodded, adjusting your hold on Takara to where she was secure in one arm. Once your other hand was free, you reached out and took Satoru’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before you started after the woman. There was a small sound of surprise from your friends behind you, but they quickly fell into step, Kenji and Niji taking up the rear of your little parade. At one point you glanced over your shoulder to see how the boys were feeling about the situation, and you noticed that Satoru’s other hand was gripping Suguru’s; for some reason seeing that made your heart give a little flip.

Soon enough, Gojo-hime came to a stop in front of a wooden door, delicately carved with what appeared to be cranes and lotus flowers. She turned the knob and pushed it open, then turned to the three of you and ushered you into the room first, only stepping inside herself and closing the door once again once Kenji and Niji had cleared the threshold. 

“Please, sit,” she encouraged, her smile never once leaving her face. “Wherever you’re most comfortable is fine, I don’t mind.”

The three of you sat down on some large floor cushions, all of them somehow both softer and more solid than you had expected. Once you were all settled, you realized you had wound up in between the boys, and for that you were privately relieved; having them on either side of you made you feel more secure. Kenji and Niji settled beside their respective masters, heads in their laps, eyes focused on Takara, where she now laid curled up in your own lap.

“Now, I know you’ve just had breakfast,” Satoru’s mother continued, “but would any of you like something to drink? Any tea, or anything like that?” When all three of you shook your heads, she settled down on her own cushion a few feet away, facing you. She spent a few moments in silence, apparently just taking all three of you in.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable under the weight of her gaze, no matter how kind, you allowed yourself to glance around the room. Despite the fact that the sun had risen a few hours before, the room was very dimly lit, the windows covered with heavy curtains, and the screens in the shoji door at the opposite end of the room seemed thicker than you were used to, not letting in as much light as the rest of the shoji doors in the rest of the house. You couldn’t help but wonder if the low lighting was because of her headaches. Satoru had told you before that, when he had his headaches, almost any amount of light felt like daggers in his eyes; maybe it was the same for his mother.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t go home with your mother.”

The words nearly made you jump with how quickly they drew you from your thoughts, and it took you a moment to realize they were directed at you.

“I’ll do my best to get you home to your parents as soon as possible,” Satoru’s mother promised. “But in the meantime, I’m glad to see that the clothes I sent for you this morning fit you.”

You nodded dumbly at her words, glancing down at your shirt. Seeing its color again had a question spilling from you before you could stop it. “Who do these clothes belong to? Satoru and Suguru don’t wear colors like this.”

Her expression grew sad at your enquiry and she dropped your gaze, though her smile remained intact. “I had a lot of clothes made when Satoru was very young,” she explained softly. “I… I had hoped for a long time that I would be able to have another baby, but it never happened.”

She met your eyes again with a small, bittersweet laugh. “But I accepted that years ago. I’m just glad the clothes won’t have to waste away in boxes anymore.”

Your throat felt tight as you listened to her speak, having not expected such an answer from her. It seemed almost miraculous that she could still be so kind after a hurt like that, and you were glad that she was so kind, so gentle, even if nobody would have blamed her if she’d grown bitter instead.

Maybe, you thought to yourself, she needs somewhere for all her love to go.

“Thank you,” you managed after a moment, blinking rapidly to keep from crying over what she had shared with you. “They’re very nice clothes, and I promise to take good care of them.”

“I wouldn’t be upset even if you destroyed them,” she assured you, then looked over at her son. “Satoru knows. He ruined more of his clothes when he was small than he would probably care to admit.”

When you turned to Satoru, you weren’t all that surprised to find he’d gone bright red, mumbling something under his breath about how it wasn’t his fault expensive clothes weren’t good to play in. The sight made you giggle, and you heard a soft chuckle from Suguru and another quiet, melodic laugh from Gojo-hime. With a groan, Satoru covered his face with his hands and flopped backwards, trying to escape the spotlight in any way he could.

Apparently deciding to have some mercy on her only child, Gojo-hime called your name again, waiting until your attention was back on her to speak again. “I really would like to know how you’re feeling about all this, and how you want to handle it.”

Your smile slipped at her words, and you took a moment to really consider what she was asking you. How did you feel? You weren’t really sure. Everything had happened so fast, you weren’t even entirely sure you’d processed all of it.

“Well,” you began tentatively. “It still doesn’t feel completely real, honestly. I mean… I’ve been waiting so long to meet my dragon, I guess I just kind of stopped thinking I ever would?” Your gaze dropped to Takara, who was already looking up at you, completely still except for her breathing. The corner of your lips twitched in the tiniest hint of a smile, and you stroked the top of her head lightly with a fingertip.

“I’m thrilled to finally have my dragon, of course, but… I just don’t understand why I’m the only person to bond with a metallic dragon in so long.” Your voice grew quieter and quieter as you spoke, until your words were barely above a whisper. “Why me? What makes me more special than anyone else? I’m not even from one of the big clans.”

You lifted your head to meet Gojo-hime’s gaze yet again; though her eyes were so much darker than Satoru’s, you could see the same warmth in them, the same openness. Despite your best efforts, you felt tears spring to your eyes once more. “Why did it have to be me? I never wanted to be anything special. I just wanted to meet my dragon and go back to how things were, living at home with my parents and spending time with my friends. I didn’t want to be anyone important, I just wanted to be me.”

By the time you finished speaking, your vision was completely blurred over and tears were pouring down your cheeks. Your breathing turned shallower, more like hiccups than regular breathing, and when you felt two sets of arms wrap around you, two warm, steady presences holding you between them, you only began to cry harder. Everything you’d kept bottled up, even beyond the previous day’s events, came pouring out of you, and you were powerless to stop it at all.

The feeling of two soft, slender hands cradling your cheeks caused you to finally lift your head from where it had fallen against Satoru’s shoulder, and you sniffled weakly as Gojo-hime carefully wiped your tears away.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed, thumbs stroking lightly over your cheekbones. “You were always going to be important. Everyone is important in their own way.”

“But some people are really important,” you replied quietly, still trying to quell your tears.

She only shook her head at you. “Everyone is equally important, okay? Everyone. I’m not more important than the three of you, or more important than any of the staff that work here at the estate. None of us can do what we do without each other.”

You were silent for a moment, but eventually you gave a small nod. “Okay…” you whispered. Sniffling again, you let yourself lean into her touch, your eyes fluttering shut as she continued to wipe your tears away.

“I don’t know why it was you,” she continued after a moment. “I wish I had an answer for that, but I don’t. But I do know that you’re going to do great things. Whatever reason you were chosen for, no matter what it is, you will be more than capable of living up to it.”

“How do you know that?”

Gojo-hime just smiled at you, her genuine affection for you spilling out in her words. “Because you won’t have to do it alone. The people who love you will help you through it all.”

You wanted to ask how she could be so sure, ask her why she was so confident that you would eventually be able to do whatever needed to be done, but you didn’t want to argue. Knowing she had faith in you was enough for the moment, and you nodded slightly, allowing her words to reassure you, at least for the time being.

Once she was convinced you believed her, Gojo-hime pulled her hands from your cheeks, moving back to her seat. She allowed you a moment to compose yourself and wipe the few remaining tears from your face before she changed subjects a bit.

“How do you want to handle this, sweetheart?” she asked. “I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to convince my husband to agree to everything, but if I know where to start, it will be a bit easier to get him to compromise.”

“I want to go home,” you answered, almost before she finished speaking. “I miss my parents, and I want to go home. As soon as possible.”

“Of course. It’s clear that your mother wants you back home as soon as possible, too, so I will do my best to make that happen. Anything else?”

Knowing she would sit patiently and wait for however long it took for you to come up with an answer did a great deal to ease your mind, and took off the pressure to already know exactly what you wanted. “I think… it would probably be good for me to train with Yaga-sensei. My parents will help me as much as they can, I know, but… metallic dragons don’t show up for no reason, right? And I need to be as prepared as possible for whatever is coming.”

Hearing yourself say those words aloud was almost surreal; it was a mature take on the situation, a logical next step, but you weren’t ready to be mature like that yet. You wanted to be a kid for a little while longer, to spend time with your friends without responsibilities for another year or two, but that clearly was no longer in the cards for you. Growing up was coming sooner rather than later.

You spent a bit longer considering what you wanted and telling Gojo-hime those things as you decided them. She’d said she probably wouldn’t be able to get you everything you wanted, but she had promised to try her best, so you had hope. It was hard to gauge exactly how long you’d spent in the room, due to the reduced amount of light, but it felt like you’d been there for ages. Not in a bad way, though; being around Gojo-hime with your friends beside you and your dragon in your lap was rather peaceful, actually, even if the situation wasn’t ideal. 

When you finally felt you had covered all your bases, you glanced over at Satoru, the smile he offered you doing wonders to boost your confidence that you’d done well. Suguru wore a smile for you, too, when you turned and looked at him. Though his smile was a bit softer than Satoru’s, it was no less encouraging, and you felt the last bit of tension bleed from your shoulders.

“Thank you, Gojo-hime,” you said, turning back to face the woman. “I feel a lot better now that I’ve gotten to talk it out a bit.”

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart. I know this is a lot, and I wanted to give you an opportunity to take it in.” She hadn’t said anything about it in all the time you and your friends had been in the room with her, but you could tell how tired she was. “I won’t keep you here any longer, though. You can go if you’re ready.”

You nodded, picking Takara up with one hand and carefully standing from your seat. The hatchling shifted in your hold, making a small mumbling noise before falling back asleep. You could hear your friends standing from their seats just behind you, and you bowed to the Gojo matriarch as you thanked her once again.

She waved you off with a quiet laugh. “There’s no need for those kinds of formalities when Gojo-sama isn’t around,” she promised. 

A bit embarrassed, you nodded, then turned with the boys to leave the room and give Gojo-hime a chance to rest. You turned back almost instantly though, a question you were eager to have answered jumping to the front of your mind. “Where is your dragon?” you asked curiously. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a dragon before.”

Her expression brightened a bit as she answered, “Oh, she stays in one of the housing buildings on the other side of the estate. You met her last night.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “I did?”

“You did,” she confirmed. “Takara is her daughter.”

Eyes flying wide with shock, you blinked dumbly a few times, before uttering a very intelligent, “Oh.” 

Your response drew another soft laugh from the woman’s lips, though it was clear she wasn’t making fun of you. “Funny how those things work out sometimes, hm?” she mused, then pushed herself to her feet.

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, once again turning to give Gojo-hime her space back. Before you’d taken more than just a couple of steps, though, you heard her voice call out again.

“Satoru, could you come here for a moment, please?”

Pausing, you exchanged a look with your best friend, only continuing on when he gave you a nod. Suguru opened the door, and you stepped out into the hallway, Suguru and Niji close behind. You turned back towards the room as Suguru pulled the door closed behind himself, and in the crack of the open doorway, you caught a glimpse of Satoru hugging his mother tightly, her arms wrapped around him as she pressed a kiss to the top of his head. You were quick to look away, not wanting to intrude on such a private moment.

The next day, after what you could only assume was a very long discussion with his wife, Gojo-sama summoned your mother back to the estate to discuss his proposal for your life going forward; thankfully you were in the room for the discussion, too. Gojo-hime had been right when she’d told you her husband wouldn’t agree to everything you’d asked for, but he had conceded to more than you had thought.

“Your child will stay here at the estate for the remainder of the bonding period, but after that they can return home with you for a while. Once their dragon is big enough to begin training under Yaga, they will live here for most of the week, but will be allowed to return home to you and your husband a day or two each week.”

“That is not acceptable,” your mother was quick to interrupt, already beginning to scowl at Satoru’s father.

“Which part specifically?” he asked, already looking a bit exasperated with the whole situation. 

“Expecting my child to live away from me most of the week for the foreseeable future. I won’t stand for it.” As stubborn as your mother was, you knew that this was one thing she would not allow Gojo-sama to deny her.

He let out a long sigh through his nose, closing his eyes for a moment as he asked, “What would you suggest as an alternative, then? Because it was your child’s idea to train with Yaga in the first place, and I doubt you want to deny them that opportunity any more than I do.”

Apparently a bit surprised that you were the one who had suggested training at the estate, your mother glanced at you briefly before returning her attention to the man before you. “I want them home every night for dinner and to sleep in their own bed,” she said. “They can be here during the day for training, and even for academic lessons, if that’s something they want, but they will be home to eat dinner with myself and my husband every evening, without exception, and will get to sleep in their own bed overnight.”

For a long moment – one that seemed to stretch on for hours rather than seconds – the two adults stared each other down, neither of them apparently willing to back down on the subject. The apparent stalemate they were in made you worry; what would your mother do if Gojo-sama told her no? And what would Gojo-sama do if your mother caused a scene? You were fairly certain you didn’t want to know.

Eventually, the man seemed to resign himself to the fact that this was not an argument he was willing to have, at least not right that second. “Fine,” he huffed. “They will spend their days here, and evenings at home with you.” He turned his attention to you, then continued. “Do you want to attend academic lessons with Satoru and Geto-kun?”

It rubbed you the wrong way that he didn’t refer to Suguru by his first name, even after the boy had been living in his house for nearly three years, but at the same time you were more than a little glad there was no apparent sense of familiarity between them. “…May I have some time to consider it?” you asked after a moment, hoping he would agree, because really, you didn’t know what you wanted just then. You felt your shoulders sag slightly with relief when he gave you a short nod before returning his attention to your mother.

“Once the bonding period has come to an end and the festival is over, I will see them escorted home to you. Are those terms satisfactory?”

“Festival?” you and your mother parroted together. Nothing had been said to you about a festival, so you were beyond confused.

“Yes, the festival,” Gojo-sama confirmed. “There has always been an elaborate celebration held when a metallic dragon appears and bonds with a human.”

“But nobody said anything about—” you began, but were swiftly cut off.

“And I apologize for that,” the man said, looking at you once again with his cold blue eyes. “But the whole celebration is non negotiable, I’m afraid. It is going to happen after your bonding period is over. That is final.”

His tone left no room for argument, and you felt your words of protest die in your throat. Tears burned your eyes as you nodded, whispering a small, “Yes, Gojo-sama,” as you dropped your gaze to your lap, where Takara lay curled up and sound asleep. The rest of the conversation between the two adults faded to background noise as you fought not to cry; you knew your mother would fill you in later on anything you missed or didn’t understand. 

When the two of you were finally dismissed, all you felt was relief. You kept your head down as you stood from where you’d been kneeling on the floor and followed your mother out of the room. She stopped once she heard the door shut behind the two of you, turning to face you in an instant and pulling you close, though she was careful not to crush Takara between you.

Unable to hold back any longer, you cried into your mother’s shirt, hiccuping nearly nonsensical statements about how you didn’t want to be the center of attention, didn’t want to be the reason for a festival; about how you wanted to go home and be with her and your father because you missed them.

“I know, baby. I know,” your mother soothed, rubbing your back and resting her cheek atop your head. “It’s all going to be just fine, though, I promise. Everything will be over and you’ll be back home before you even know it.”

“But it feels like so long,” you wept, words muffled by fabric since you didn’t bother to lift your head from her chest. “I feel like I’ve already been here forever.”

“It’s just a few more days though,” she assured you. “And besides, you have your friends here with you to pass the time. You’re going to be alright.”

“Do you promise?” you asked, finally peeking up from her chest. 

“Yes,” she murmured, kissing your forehead. “I promise.”

ok so, while i am in the process of learning japanese currently, i am by no means fluent, so the titles/honorifics that satoru's parents use for each other are based on some research i did! honorifics are confusing so i think i used them correctly, if not please don't skin me. also they are intentionally kind of archaic/ obsolete/overly formal, to fit with the traditions and dynamics of the family and the semi-historical setting of the fic.

taglist: @mitsuristoleme @redlikerozez @oceaneyesinla

@dr-runs-with-scissors @entirelysein-e @witchbybirth @sugurei @peachdues 

@whatthefucksatan @gods-landing @lu-dao-writes @roselleviennesstuff

join my taglist!

[chaoticbardlady99]

She's My Religion (Part 1: She's Cold, She's Dark, She's Cynical) Astarion x F! Reader

   Hello! I have been plagued with an idea! Enjoy! This will probably be a four part story, but I am not sure just yet!

Title from song “She’s My Religion” by Pale Waves

CW: Parental death, grief, murder, domestic violence, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of emotional abuse.

Synopsis- You are a paladin under the Oath of Vengeance. You escaped the noble life that was unwillingly thrust upon you. Now, on your way to kill your evil step-father while trying to find a solution for the parasite in your head- you find out he’s promised your hand in marriage to Lord Cazador Szarr and that he’s taken your mom’s life. Looking for some comfort- you go to Astarion, but you don’t hear the words you were hoping for.

*Gif does not belong to me- could not find original owner

Karlach whoops and cheers as she releases you from a rib crushing hug- Wyll and Gale are grinning from ear to ear. You are all elated for her that Dammon was able to figure out how to cool down her engine- even if temporarily.

  You know that she doesn’t want to hear about the future and the harm not going back to Avernus will cause so you don’t say anything while Wyll tries to lecture her. You are barely listening as the two of them go back and forth, but when Wyll glances back at you with a look that screams, “Can you please help me out over here?”

  You chuckle at your close friend’s distress and shake your head at him. Wyll adores Karlach- you know he would give her his own heart if he could. He just needs to let her come to her own decision- you’d like to think that Karlach might decide to go back until they can come up with a permanent solution. However, at the end of the day, it’s Karlach’s decision. You are just as unhappy with the impending doom your bubbly companion is facing, but that is not your weight to carry.

  “Unfortunately Wyll, I am going to support whatever Karlach wants to do for as long as I can emotionally tolerate it,” you give Karlach a playful punch in the arm, “you’re not allowed to die on me, ya know?”

  Karlach rolls her eyes and smiles- pulling you in for an awkward walking side hug.

 “Don’t worry Soldier- I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

    You all begin to head back to camp from Last Light Inn when Jaheira calls you from afar, waving you over. You look at your companions and they look back at you- equally as confused. You tell them that you will catch up with them in a little bit and they leave you there alone. Cautiously, you walk towards her- she did just threaten to kill you not even 72 hours ago and what an eventful 72 hours it has been. 

  You killed a devil, almost died killing that Devil, found out Astarion’s life is in far more danger than initially thought, watched Astarion convince a weird man to drink himself to death, watched an even weirder man be inhabited by a dead lady, fought shadows, and now, Karlach can hug people. 

  Life could not be any weirder, but you gladly welcome it over the mansion you had been trapped in after your mother married your step-father. The day you escaped from there had been bliss- despite how much you miss your mother. Your mother had been of noble human blood before she met your father (an elf). After one late night tryst and falling pregnant, her title had fallen significantly. She married your father and you had all lived happily together in Baldur’s Gate. You grew up poor, but Duke Ravenguard always tried to make sure you and your family had been taken care of. You grew up with Wyll Ravenguard and you have been tight knit friends almost your whole lives. 

  Until you were 14.

  Count Bridril Von, a high Sorcerer, had not forgotten your mother nor her breaking her promise to marry him by becoming pregnant by another. After your father died, he found your mother and enchanted her to become a mindless puppet. She would break occasionally, but ultimately you were left to fend for yourself against your 9 step-siblings (5 girls, 4 boys) and Bridril Von- who enjoyed taking out all his anger and hatred for your father on you. The only times he would claim you as one of his own would be when you had competed in various competitions and won- outranking his sons. The publicity he got from having a little sharp shooter and for “raising his darling step-daughter after she so horribly lost her hero father” was incredible. You became a show pony- a pretty, malleable little thing that was forced to perform and excel so that she could be treated with basic respect.

 The minute you were able to escape the Mansion from the Hells, you ran to the docks, bought a ticket to Silverymoon, took an Oath of Vengeance, and now you are here with an illithid parasite in your head. At first you had thought you were the unluckiest person in the world when you were kidnapped by a mind flayer, but your companions have quickly made the whole journey worthwhile- Astarion especially.

  You had met him before in your previous life as a troublemaking bastard and you had had conversations before- nothing too crazy nor serious, just quips and flirting back and forth. Astarion had been at the mansion frequently or you at the palace because your oldest step-sister, Daisy Von, is (was?) due to marry Lord Cazador Szarr. It was no secret to anyone, not even Daisy, that Cazador wants to marry you due to your likeness of a long lost love of his, but you are not of royal blood. Cazador would lose his alliance with Bridril if he married his boorish, rebellious, and unwanted step-daughter- despite your many achievements. You were grateful. You didn’t want to marry the man and Daisy was foolishly smitten- she could have him for all you care. That was your mentality before you knew he was a Master Vampire.

  Your family and Astarion’s ‘family’ spent a lot of time together. Astarion had become your escort around the palace grounds because Bridril did not want you to take the spotlight away from Daisy. 

 Originally, it had been Pale Petras, but you had unceremoniously kicked him in the balls after he had said something rather unbecoming towards you and had to be physically dragged away by Leon before he tried to kill you or worse. Astarion had immediately taken a liking to you for that alone. 

  When you had stumbled upon each other at the beach after the Nautiloid crash, it had been a little over two years since you had last seen each other. Without the watchful eyes of Cazador, your friendship and romantic relationship has blossomed. 

   You had been weary at first, worried that he was just getting close to you because he knew how much it would piss off Cazador if Astarion were to be with the one person Cazador could not have. Now, you are about 95 percent sure that isn’t the case, but you remain alert- just in case. 

  You are used to being used for an upperhand in the world and you hope everyday that you are more than an advantage against Cazador to him because he truly means everything to you. 

  Which is maybe why you are quite agitated with Jaheira taking precious minutes away from you that could be spent with your love. You offer her a smile as she holds out a letter.

 “A letter? For me? Oh Jaheira, you shouldn’t have!”

   Jaheira hides her amusement behind a scowl, “it came through here magically. Rolan was able to calm down the little portal it came flying through- I suggest waiting until you reach Baldur’s Gate to be sending and receiving mail.”

   You apologize and walk towards camp, opening and reading the contents in the letter. The letter rips open your entire body and it feels like the ground is going to cave in. You read and reread the letter multiple times- standing between the edge of Last Light Inn and the edge of Camp, not even 5 feet away. 

  Tav,

  My name is Mary, I was your mother’s lady in waiting. You were always so busy that we never got the opportunity to meet. I am sorry to tell you that I only have bad news.

 The Count had received an offer from Lord Cazador Szarr two weeks ago regarding marrying you that he is not going to refuse- initially he was, but then you continued to not come home and he became bitter. 

  Cazador expressed urgency regarding getting you back to Baldur’s Gate. Bridril has hired mercenaries to hunt for you.

  Bridril killed your mother- the whispers in the castle say it was not an easy or quick death. My understanding is that you took an Oath of Vengeance so I hope Bridril is on your list. Your mother was the kindest woman I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

   I know she would want you to know that she loves you, is proud of you, is watching out for you, and knows you are off to do great things. 

  Keep vigilant and may Selune bless your path.

  -Mary

     No. This isn't happening to you. You are only days- maybe even a week or two away from going back home, killing Bridril, and freeing your mother. You were going to be a family again. You wanted to introduce her to your companions and buy a nice little home to live in with her like you used to when you were little. You were going to tell her all about your adventures, your time on the Pirate ship that took you to Silverymoon, your life there as a Paladin, and his whole fucking excursion.

   She’s gone and the wail that threatens to crack open your chest is suffocating. You quickly walk to Astarion’s tent, where you have been sleeping most nights, and he’s not there. Of all the times you really need him to not be doing anything and yet! You shove the letter back in the envelope and absentmindedly throw it to another part of the tent- not looking and not caring. Your grief feels like it may kill you and you just need to be held- to know and feel like you aren’t completely alone in the world right now. 

    After a brief chat with Halsin, you discover Astarion is hanging out with Shadowheart behind her tent. You make haste that way- hoping they won’t be too mad that you are interrupting their wine and gossip time. You had gotten back earlier than anticipated and in other circumstances you might wait until he is done, but you aren’t in your right mind. 

  You approach the tent and hear them talking on the other side, facing the forest, and sitting on a log. The tears begin to manifest in your eyes as relief floods you- you are so close to feeling okay again.

  “How bloody hard is it to nicely, lovingly tell someone that you’ve been deceiving them this whole time?”

  You stop dead in your tracks. 

  No. 

  “Look, there is no good way to say it,” Shadowheart says, “you just need to own up to it and then be honest about all of it.” 

 “Oh yes because ‘I planned on seducing you, sleeping with you, and manipulating you from the start’ is such a great opener,” Astarion scoffs, “there has to be some other way to make it flow with the rest of it. A better way to tell her.”

  “No need,” you speak up miserably, coming around the corner, “you just did. Wasn’t that hard was it?”

  Astarion and Shadowheart look absolutely shell shocked to see you standing there. Astarion looks like he’s about to throw up as he gets up and looks at you softly, a pleading, panicked look in his eyes.

  “Darling!” he says, getting up, laughing nervously“you’re back early. I- can we-”

  “Whatever we are,” you say with a glare, tears now pouring and with as much hatred in your voice as you can muster, “or whatever you were pretending I was to you- it’s over.” 

  Astarion’s entire face falls while he’s staring at you and he looks like he might cry, he opens his mouth, “Darling, pl-”

   Shadowheart looks like she is about to speak up for him too, but you are far too angry, far too hurt- far too lonely right now in the world to let yourself be tricked into staying with him. They are best friends, she’s probably in on it too. 

 “No! I hate you so much!,” the venom in your voice being watered down by your anguish, “I hate you more than I thought I could ever hate anyone- undead, dead, or alive! I trusted you and you used me for your own gain- so unkindly, go fuck yourself!”

   You spin around on your heels, race over to your tent, and tie the flaps tightly shut. You slump to the ground and just sob- grabbing your mother’s old blanket that you had stolen before you left. You scream into it silently and all the pain in your body is threatening to make you burst apart at the seams. You wouldn’t be surprised if you did. 

  In less than an hour you have lost your mother, Astarion, and potentially your freedom. Astarion had used you to get one up on Cazador and he succeeded. Now that he knows what Cazador’s ritual is- he’s decided he’s done with you and every step you make has to be done cautiously because one slip up and you are going to be the consort to a fucking Master Vampire after fighting to avoid this for so long. All because Astarion just had to poke the bear. 

Astarion signed your fate using your blood as ink.

   Your throat is raw and your head is pounding by the time your lungs feel like they know how to properly breathe again. You hear someone knock on one of the wooden beams of your tent and you scoff.

  “It’s just me Tav,” Wyll says softly, “can I come in.”

     You get up and untie the tent flaps numbly. You look at Wyll, eyes puffy and red- your face streaked with tears. As Wyll walks into your tent, you get a glimpse of Astarion looking crestfallen as you invite Wyll in. You just scrunch your nose up in disgust at him before closing your tent. 

    Wyll is sitting down on your bedroll and you sit down right next to him- both of you looking at the ground. Wyll gently puts his hand on top of yours and smiles at you with his signature gentle, I’m here, grin.

 “My mom’s dead, Wyll.”

  “What?” 

 “Bridril killed her. She had snapped out of whatever hold he had on her when he agreed to marry me off to Cazador,” you choke out between sobs, “he killed her for trying to protect me. Now? I am officially going to be married off to a Master Vampire the minute I step foot in Baldur’s Gate if Bridril has his way.”

  “Oh Tav…”

 “And then! To make matters even worse?,” you look at him with disbelief and your voice sounds borderline hysterical now, “I overheard Astarion and Shadowheart prepping his ‘I’ve been using you this whole time and I’m ready to break-up’ speech. He was trying to figure out how to be nice about it.”

  Wyll stares at you with bewilderment. He is absolutely silent as you break down sobbing again, but he pulls you into him and you put your head on his shoulder.

  “I fe-feel so alone,” you manage to say coherently, “and so frightened.” 

  “I know you do my dear friend,” Wyll strokes your hair as make a mess of his shirt, “but you have Karlach, Gale, Lae’zel, Halsin, Scratch, and even an Owlbear Cub for Gods sake!”

  You smile at the emphasis on your rather dangerous furry friend. Wyll had asked what you were going to do with him when you got back to Baldur’s Gate and when you didn’t have a plan- both of you were a little horrified. You both decided to send it to Daisy as an engagement present once it’s big enough to stomp on Cazador and Daisy mid-wedding.

  “And besides,” Wyll says, “you’re my closest friend. I won’t allow you to be alone nor face this alone. I’m probably the best monster hunter you know.”

 “You are also the only monster hunter I know.”

  Wyll rolls his eyes and smiles brightly at you, “That’s besides the point, but I am going to let you sleep. You look like you need it.” 

   Wyll places a soft kiss on your forehead before he leaves your tent.

  “Thank you Wyll.”

    He turns around and smiles, “Any time Tav.”

_________________________________________________

Tag-list: @spacebarbarianweird @domainoflostsouls

[atopvisenyashill]

aegon executing essie and sylvenna is worse than anything rhaenyra has done.

im joking but im also not. that part made me ridiculously upset, even after all the atrocities that happened during the dance and you're one of the 5 people who might understand lmao.

aksjd YOU’RE VALID ANON!!

The young monarch, who had celebrated his fifth nameday only two days previous, was carried back to the Red Keep slung over the back of a horse, chained and weeping. His mother walked behind him, clutching the hand of the Dornishwoman Sylvenna Sand…

His mother, Essie, who had presumed to style herself Lady Esselyn during her son's brief reign, confessed under torture that Gaemon's father was not the king, as she had previously claimed, but rather a silver-haired oarsman off a trading galley from Lys. Being lowborn and unworthy of the sword, Essie and the Dornish whore Sylvenna Sand were hanged from the battlements of the Red Keep, together…

It’s just as bad as Blood & Cheese for me because the cruelty here is the point, just like B&C. Chaining a sobbing five year old up to death march him and his moms to be tortured, and then hanging them instead of beheading them because they’re “unworthy” of the sword so they get a slow death choking to death in front of each other. It’s meant to bring them low, to put them in their place, to build a wall between Essie & Sylvie and the noble class. It’s unsettling I think in part because of the focus on the trio as a family unit, and the “queerness” of it. We get several comments in TWOIAF and F&B bringing focus to how weird they are, how radical, and to have that little spark so brutally snuffed out. It really hurts!!

It’s a wildly unnecessary move too - I whack Jaehaerys constantly but when given the choice to take revenge or heal the kingdom after maegor’s reign, he explicitly chooses healing! he only executes those who tortured his brother, tyanna, and the kingsguard who refused to take the black! he very specifically reconciles with the faith & the warrior’s son by asking them to join him because their crime was attempting to take power in a power vacuum left by the failings of the crown. that’s exactly what sylvie & essie do! but aegon retakes the capital and refuses to heal the damage he and rhaenyra did - instead he makes it worse, turning the violence that had been used on him onto the people who stepped up where he failed AND all this after it was the greens who initially started locking the population of KL into the city like cattle to a slaughter. No way out, no king or queen around, and no blood on Sylvie or Essie’s hands but it doesn’t matter; because they’re lowborn, they deserve to die. To choke to death in front of each other, their weeping wailing son ripped away and made to serve the family who murdered his mothers. To remind him always that he is worth less, that his mothers are lower than shit in the sewer. Unendingly tragic, and so completely avoidable, but again - the evil of it is the reason it’s done.

[thejollyrabbit]

Posted about Bleach a few times recently and it got me thinking about Ships for it so here are mine off the top of my head (may edit/add in more later).

Ichigo x Orihime: I like how the series didn't start with her already liking Ichigo but actually being afraid of him before her feelings did a 180 after getting to know Ichigo better and learning about him as a person.

Chad x Isane: Big man meets big(er?) woman. It must be so hard for Insane to find someone not intimated by her height, I found a height chart of just the shinigami and not counting the dog or the dead kenpachi there are very few characters taller than her.

Renji x his own hand: because he can fuck himself.

Ichigo x Yoruichi: She is a big tease / older woman & he is a hormonal teenager, which the series has absolutely depicted him as, usually when dealing with her teasing.

Ichigo x Rangiku: tried to seduce Ichigo, who has been depicted as the hormonal teenager he is, for a place to stay in the world of the living.

Ichigo x harem: as a descendant of the Soul King, via his mom, and the noble houses of Soul Society, via his dad, Ichigo has the most royal/noble blood in the series. A series where a third of reality has a very old mentality on nobility, so if they hadn't "made" a replacement (& the series wasn't pure Shonen), I could absolutely so Soul Society making Ichigo the new Soul King and forcing a harem on him in order to preserve the royal bloodline. I don't think he'd like it but I could see it happening.

Orihime x Tatsuki: in cannon best friends and I've had the errant thought that Tatsuki wished she was the one groping Orihime instead of Chizuru.

Orihime x Chizuru: I've had the errant thought that Orihime would chastise Tatsuki for stopping Chizuru with physical violence, because Orihime liked getting groped (& maybe even how public it was, she could be perverted, I rarely kink shame)

Tatsuki x Chizuru: I've had the errant thought that Tatsuki got so mad at Chizuru for groping Orihime because she wanted to be the one Chizuru was groping.

Tatsuki x Orihime x Chizuru: Poly Yuri + a combo of my reasoning for their individual pairings.

Yoruichi x Soi Fon: in cannon I think Yoruichi knows Soi Fon likes her but, despite being a flirt, she chose to keep their relationship professional due to the power imbalance of their families...but if Yoruichi didn't care about that...

Chizuru x (only when she's older) Yuzu: I always get budding pervert vibes from Yuzu so I can see her getting together the biggest pervert in the series.

Mizuiro x Ikumi Unagiya: He likes older women and she IS the series' resident MILF.

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/iscend-phines/751334706465947648/bookdaemon-would-never-he-was-a-somehow-worse?source=share

Daemon is not a pedophile or a groomer in Fire and Blood. You have to review your definitions after a while.

And sorry, but the fact that there was domestic violence in the feudal era in no way justifies adding it into a series that adapts source material already rife with violence against women in the first place, including for the affected character of Rhaenyea.

Why add domestic violence when there isn't any in the source material ? What's the point ?

GRRM has already written about other relationships with domestic violence. So why add domestic violence where there was none AKA Daemyra ?! What's the fucking point ?! Not to mention that Rhaenyra already experiences various realistic violence in her own story. No need to add domestic violence to all that if it doesn't serve the story.

And I remind you that not all men, even in feudal times, were necessarily violent with their wives. Throughout history, good men and their wives have always existed.

So the excuse of “realism” to justify the fact that Daemon is violent with Rhaenyra they can kick it in the ass.

GRRM has written stories of domestic abuse before. Do you want to read this ? Well go read that. Or did the producers want to adapt that ? Well they just had to adapt another GRRM story ! Same if they wanted romance between girls ! GRRM wrote about it ! No need to invent Rhaenicent !

And yes, the show is trying to make Alicent look better ! Alicent wasn't a victim in the book, and she wasn't that young. What do you call it other than trying to make his character more likable for the audience ?!

And no, the producers don't understand anything about what they are adapting. They're not even able to admit that the entire central conflict is based on pure misogyny and tries to send the message that not everyone, including Rhaenyra, is apparently evil. That's not what dance is about. So sorry, but yes, if you are not capable of understanding the basic message of a work, then you do not understand anything about it in its entirety either.

Alicent stans disgust me deeply.

Crazy thing is that they could have made Alicent have a line of relatibility by just fully acknowledging that Dance was about misogyny instead of just about "the two sides are bad, full stop, no one is the aggressor to each other but rather both are to the realm".

How? They could have given us a backstory of Alicent as a normal noble girl with very strict, sexist father ands brothers, dead mom, and her quietly hoping to gain some prestige and power on her own. growing jealous of Rhaenyra being "handed" power or confidence or an "opportunity" after having married Viserys and become her stepmother. Show a pattern of this sort of jealousy. Instead it's this too-sheltered girl who doesn't know how to manipulate people or even try to to get them to do what she wants. How cunt would that have been?

As for Daemon, I think that, yes, why bother including a horrible thing that doesn't exist in canon?

P.S. I mean, the show makes it clear that Rhaenyra's doubted bc misogyny, but it doesn't really hit bc they can be more blatant with it. Felt too polite for a medievalesque world where a girl is finally heir.

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

The impact of toxic family dynamics in Till the End of the Moon (长月烬明)

A bit random and I have never done character analysis posts so it might not be as good as some other posts on here but bear with me.

I'm watching Till the End of the Moon (ep 25) and the recent development of Ye Bingchang's character into a full blown villain has made me hate her, but also empathize with her in ways I didn't expect.

To contextualise, Ye Bingchang 叶冰裳 is the second child and first daughter of the Ye family, and she is basically the perfect daughter of a noble Chinese family. She's sweet and kind, beautiful but not attention seeking, smart but not a smart ass, dutiful and filial, delicate and thoughtful. She shares a beautiful love story with Prince Xiao Lin 萧凛, the 6th son of the Emperor, so she's going to marry in the Imperial Family and no doubt bring honor to the Ye Clan. She seems to be doing everything exactly right.

And yet she's a second class citizen in her own family, who openly favours her younger sister Ye Xiwu 叶夕雾.

Now there are two levels to this.

1) They're openly and unabashedly favouring one child over the 3 others, but then still ranking the other kids, and somehow Ye Bingchang ranks lower than her brother who is a lazy and stupid gambler. Her family simply doesn't see her, she's completely forgettable to them, like her existence only matters because sure, she's their blood, but she's a complete afterthought.

2) The daughter they favour over her is Ye Xiwu, and Ye Xiwu is a monster of a golden child. She's completely selfish and narcissistic, she explicitly abuses her husband, she schemes again and again to seduce and try to rape Prince Xiao Lin, her sister's one true love and fiancé, and when this doesn't work she becomes physically violent towards Ye Bingchang as well.

Ye Xiwu is an extremely abusive and horrible person, straight up. And her family continuously makes excuses for her violent behaviour, dotes on her, spoils her, and barely has a look for Ye Bingchang, expecting her to forgive and turn the other cheek. The golden child / black sheep dynamic is at its peak.

I find it quite rare that in this type of situation, a show will have the golden child as our hero ; almost always, if there are complicated family relationships, the main character is the one who's rejected, underestimated, and who has to rise through those challenges (which applies to our main male character Tantai Jin 澹台烬 btw, and I think we could say a lot of the parallels between Tantai Jin and Ye Bingchang).

I can think of other cases where the child who was favoured is the main character over the child who is rejected (Jiang Cheng 江澄 in The Untamed 陈情令, Feng Chang 丰苌 in Who Rules the World 且试天下) but they're not as clear cut as this (Jiang Cheng being his mom's favorite and the only actual son of the family while Wei Wuxian 魏无羡 is also a black sheep on many levels, Feng Chang's more favoured brother Feng Lanxi 丰兰息 being fairly rejected as well and having to fight not to be poisoned).

The golden child as a main character works here because it isn't actually Ye Xiwu : we discover her character and the situation when the spirit of Li Susu 黎苏苏 travels back in time and takes possession of Ye Xiwu's body. Our main character is really Li Susu, and like the audience she's horrified to learn everything Ye Xiwu has been doing, disgusted by her abusive behaviour towards her sister and her husband, and at first disapproves of how much the Ye family favours her over Ye Bingchang. But she also comes to love the Ye family as her own, and the fact that they would neglect one of their daughters so much doesn't impact her affection for them.

We only learn about Ye Xiwu's abuse through flashbacks, so it doesn't have the same emotional impact for us as an audience, and we only brief moments of those memories so we don't have to confront the full magnitude of how horrible she was, including to Ye Bingchang. Again, Ye Xiwu tried to rape her sister's one true love and fiancé, and even after getting married herself she continued to throw herself at him, and when it didn't work she turned to actual physical violence on Ye Bingchang.

And throughout this, the Ye family excuses it all away, and even Ye Bingchang excuses it away. She forgives before Ye Xiwu even apologizes, because she knows that's what's expected of her, and she just tries her best to be a kind soul still defending her sister from people spreading rumors about her. In a way, she's a victim of domestic violence who forgives an abuser and thinks she just needs to be softer, sweeter, weaker, so maybe they don't feel like bullying her anymore.

So when Ye Bingchang tries to use the affection of men to get protection, to feel love and be sheltered from her condition, it's very understandable and to me resembles a lot of things I've seen in real life. And when she turns to resentment over her condition and decides she needs to gain control over her situation through getting some amount of power so she can protect herself, it's an arc we could expect from a main character.

She only becomes a villain after the arc of Bo're Life, in which our four main characters Tantai Jin, Ye Xiwu/Li Susu, Xiao Lin and Ye Bingchang are absorbed into a dragon's dreams of its past as a War God centuries ago. Ye Bingchang is "reincarnated" in this dream as a powerful immortal, a scorned lover but who has the power to actually be vengeful over the woman who steals the man she loves. The object of her ire being Ye Xiwu, reincarnated in a very sweet clam spirit woman, Ye Bingchang gets a taste of what power feels like, of what manipulation feels like, and of what revenge over Ye Xiwu would feel like. And when even in this dream life, Ye Xiwu is preferred over her and she ends up dying, she comes back to herself determined to change and not let others control her life anymore.

Every character (except Xiao Lin really) seems deeply influenced by what they lived in Bo're Life, having identity crises of sorts over who they actually are now. As an aside, it works as a pretty good plot device to suddenly get Tantai Jin a lot more open to Ye Xiwu/Li Susu and move their romance along, it almost feels like cheating but I'll allow it.

Anyway, Ye Bingchang has now slowly become as manipulative and cruel as her counterpart in Bo're Life, and it's easy to just see it as that counterpart taking over her body in a way.

But this manipulative and cruel streak is born out of the profound reality that she can not count on her family to protect her, and that the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally preferred her literal abuser over her.

She did everything right and it was never enough, so now it's time for her to claim her life back.

And again, in another show (like the Story of Yanxi Palace 延禧攻略 for example), this urge to climb to power so no one can hurt you anymore and take revenge on the people who ruined your life along the way, it would make you the hero.

But here, Ye Bingchang still can't win, and she actually turns into a villain.

[lylaseb]

After taking a break for a few days I’ve pretty much calmed down enough to be able to think about who my favorite characters are now that I’ve finished the show

Obviously spoilers if you’re not done with the show

1. I don’t like children but if I had sasha as a daughter I would work my butt off to ensure she got to eat every single thing she wanted to eat and I’d make sure to spend as much time as possible to bond with her and I’d teach her about the world while also shielding her from every kind of hurt. I believe in sasha supremacy. The moment she saved Samuel back in season 1 I immediately felt there was going to be more to her than just the comedic relief. She’s the loveliest ball of sunshine in the show and she deserved so much more screen time. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched her save kaya now and every time I go back to when she got carlo in one shot and then proceeded to look the cart dead in the eye without flinching even as the cart was about to charge at her I’m always filled with pride. She grew up so well.

2. Jean’s character development is one of the best in the series, and he’s charismatic but also incredibly relatable. From the looks of it he grew up in a relatively normal family, had a normal childhood, and he didn’t have ackerman/noble blood or titan powers or special abilities and yet was the best out of all of the ‘normal’ scouts from the 104th. I could go on and on and on about why he’s so precious but there’s just one thing I want to mention at this point because I just realized I’ve never talked about this before. He’s a decent man and I love him for it. It’s sad that we feel we have to ‘applaud’ or even comment on something like this but this is the world we live in. What I mean is, some guys are weird with their crushes, like predatory or toxic, but not jean. He never tried to manipulate mikasa and he wasn’t even annoying with it. Regardless of how she was as a person, he treated her as just that, a person, and as a friend. And he truly meant well. That’s unfortunately more than what we can say for a lot of men (and women). Also, he should’ve been the next commander and I don’t care if this has become redundant. I will die on this hill.

3. I just want to know why we weren’t given a backstory for hange. Levi had one erwin had one even jean had one (baby jean boy is the cutest 😭) the majority of the main cast had some kind of backstory but not hange. Why???????? Also, I’m not into girls but I’d probably marry her. And this is another thing that I haven’t talked about on here, which is that the entire time I was watching the series, the one and only time I actually teared up was when she died and met all of those that had passed before her. It was the whole situation of her doing everything she could to hold back the rumbling and then literally burning to her death and then meeting the others and her looking at the flying boat from a distance. The moment I heard Erwin’s voice saying “it took off” I lost it. I wasn’t sobbing or anything but internally I really was suffering. Most likely it wasn’t just hange but rather the weight of it all, and my heart hurt more times than I can count watching the series, but this really was the one and only time, which is saying something considering the show is basically just one massive heartbreak.

4. I know connie is popular enough but to me he’s still such an underrated character. Even back in season 1 where we didn’t get to see him as much, I always had a soft spot for him. I think it was mostly because he often acted like an idiot, which was endearing on its own, but you could also kind of sense that there was more to him than just that, much like sasha. And the affection that he had for his family and especially for his mom, my heart hurts every time I think about it. I wish he had been given more screen time. Also it’s probably obvious by now but since I haven’t said it before I’ll take this chance. I’d rather watch the show with Sasha jean and Connie as the main trio. There I said it. And I’m sure there are others who share my sentiment. Another thing that I’ve never said before is I feel like he had one of the best physical glow ups in the series 😂 I really really liked how he looked by the end of it. He was already handsome to begin with and it wasn’t like he had an enormous change in appearance either but adulthood looked really good on him. And I love a man who cuts his own hair.

5. I would love a proper prequel with Levi as the main character.

6. I really wish we got to see more of Pyxis. Go on and give us that in the prequel above 🙏

7. I was quite surprised I ended up liking Keith so much considering there isn’t much material to turn to, but his scenes in season 4 hit me like a truck. Don’t be shy and show us more of him in the prequel above 👍

8. Reiner also took me by surprise. I knew there must have been more to his story, alongside bertholdt’s and Annie’s, but I just didn’t feel anything for him in seasons 1 to 3. On the other hand watching him in season 4 felt like watching a whole other person. This probably sounds stupid but the thought of it is fair I think. If I had a choice I probably would have married hange and then raised Sasha, jean, Connie, Levi and Reiner as our children. Also I’m not denying that Reiner’s sins are real, but I still believe he deserved better. No one should have to go through what the warriors/Eldians in Marley had to go through. He literally developed a whole other personality to cope. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the guilt must have been eating him alive.

9. I still haven’t been able to get over Erwin’s death. I might not be able to. I mean, asking “What do you see here? What do you think the enemy is?” all the way back in season 1? Mentally the man was already in season 4 😩 It’s kind of sad but his absence in the last season made me appreciate him even more. Somehow he was always at the back of my mind. Also while he often manipulated people he rarely, if ever, did so with lies. He saw himself as an “expert conman” with “a whole slew of lies” but I don’t think this is true. The only one I can think of at the moment is when he arranged for the scouts to be told different things concerning eren’s location for the 57th expedition. But this doesn’t hurt anyone and it was mainly done for eren’s security and to lure out the possible spies so I’m not mad at this at all. He rarely lied about the actual facts of a situation, and I really respect him for that. He’s much less a conman and much more a hype man. Just for the record though I’m always going to feel 50/50 about him but despite this he’s number 9 out of all of the characters because the half that I do like is really doing its work like the rent is due.

10. Armin but the fact that I had to think long and hard about whether or not I liked anyone better...🤡 Season 1 armin is still my favorite armin, specifically the first half of it, and it’s not even close 💀 had this been based on just the rest of the series he wouldn’t even have touched the top 15. It’s simply amazing how he went from being one of the most promising, most inspiring characters to being one of the biggest letdowns in the entire series. That said, he will always have a special place in my heart. For me, a few of his best moments were when he was shaking in fear the first time the colossal attacked but still managed to find hannes and then asked him for help, when he comforted bertholdt by saying that cherishing one’s life is admirable too, and when he came up with that speech in order to convince the soldiers that eren wasn’t an enemy (yes he would’ve failed without Pyxis but, for me, the speech still remains to this day one of the most iconic and one of the most moving parts of the whole show).

Honorable mentions:

1. Falco the sweetest child

2. Most of floch’s lines in season 3 were chef’s kiss and even though I don’t agree with his ideals I still think his relentlessness and leadership were commendable

3. I really appreciate Artur and Lisa braus for their wisdom and their hearts of gold

4. Colt the best big bro

If we ever get a prequel or a sequel or whatever then I’ll probably make another list again

[gayhawkelatehomicide]

Updated Protagonist List

I'm going to add images to this, so it's going beneath a readmore for length reasons

Wardens

Aridhel Mahariel - bow rogue, romanced Zevran, straightforward dalish who neither understands nor cares about shemlen (or durgenlen) politics, blood magic is probably fine as long as you use it responsibly, anxious and blunt. "Let's focus on stopping the world-ending plague of darkspawn first, and worry about the rest of this bullshit later, hm?"

Saffron Cousland - sword and shield warrior, romanced Alistair, noble in every sense of the word but cheerful and friendly, Queen of Ferelden, Arlessa of Amaranthine (and Highever), killed Rendon Howe with her father's sword, fixated on duty. "Because it's the right thing to do."

Theodore Amell - arcane warrior mage, romanced Morrigan, bastardization arc powered by Morrigan whispering bad ideas in his ear, loves his terrible witch girlfriend, blood magic is fine and the chantry is oppressive, ambitious. "I am no longer baby, now I want power."

Renan Tabris - dagger rogue, romanced Leliana, exactly zero patience for shem politics, raised Andrastian (derogatory), canonically kind of a bitch, evil sense of humor, loves her stupid new shem baby brother, harden everyone, distrustful. "Like dogs, Shianni."

Valda Aeducan - two handed warrior, romanced Leliana, honorable and serious, trusts no one, girl raised in harsh political nonsense learns to trust her found family and forgive her bio family while unlearning bad lessons simulator, sneaky/quiet sense of humor, intense loyalty to her people, values tradition but values compassion more, genuinely regrets what happened with Trian. "For the honor of my house, though I myself have neither house nor honor."

Emmaera Surana - blood mage spirit healer, romanced Alistair, fey and strange, sweet but a little out of it, she and Merrill would get along so well because they both just say what they mean, falls for Ali like a ton of bricks after trusting him exactly 0% at first, has a council of spirits that advise her, definitely more than a little possessed, Templars aggro on sight, besties with Morrigan. "The Chantry won't tell you anything useful about the Fade, but I could. If you want."

Ashaterylen Mahariel - champion fighter, loves Morrigan but it's complicated, aggressive and no-nonsense, adopts Alistair as her comic relief to fill Tamlen's shoes, Not Okay™ but doing a good job regardless, my only warden who straight up dies, but we still get Kieran because magic, rather laconic, probably my most heavily headcanoned origins character. "Duty trumps sentiment. Every time."

Hawkes

Iris Hawke - knife rogue, romanced Anders, diplomatic but also way too intense for her own good, loves mages so much, circle mage Bethany, will do anything to protect what's left of her family, noble impulses but awful sense of humor, fanatic, very angry underneath her shell of politeness, diplomacy as a tool. "Why don't we try asking the Arishok nicely?"

Ian Hawke - elemental mage, romanced Fenris, sarcastic, sided with the templars because magic is an essential part of him but it's brought nothing but grief to him and his family, templar Carver, quip for every situation, never loses his positive outlook for long, self-loathing but doing his best not to make that everyone's problem. "Dad did WHAT for the Wardens? Why am I not surprised."

Kiera Hawke - two-handed warrior, romanced Isabella, sarcastic → aggressive, sad bastard warrior Hawke, everyone who gets close to her dies, Bethany dies, good attitude wrecked by the wear and tear of life, loves her buddies who are also terrible, angry and broken. "You tell me where Bartrand is, I'll help you wring his fucking neck"

Alice Hawke - knife rogue, romanced Merrill, circle mage Bethany, p much pure diplomatic, diplomacy as a way of life, mom friend central, no one is irredeemable, far too trusting, kind of a busybody, always thinks she knows best. "Clean your blades, watch your purse strings, don't be a dick."

Delilah Hawke - entropy mage, in love with Varric, pure sarcasm, sends Carver to the wardens, adores her stupid chaotic bisexual family, beat down by this world but stubbornly clinging to joy, flat refuses to talk about her problems. "Where would I be without my trusty dwarf?"

Quinn Hawke - blood mage, romances Anders, red from the beginning, low-key an asshole but also high-key he just doesn't know how to communicate, oldest sibling syndrome turned up to 11, inspired by Harker Zevsurana's Kier, fuck you mage rights. "Well, shit."

Andy Hawke - force mage, romances Anders and Fenris (it's complicated), strong purple laugh-or-cry type, so many canon alterations but the twins both live, grows a lot over the course of the campaign, big fuck the chantry, uses their staff as a polearm bc they're not great at magic, easily my most headcanoned Hawke. "Have any of you guys considered having a normal reaction to anything? Ever? Didn't think so."

Inquisitors

Miriani Lavellan - assassin bow rogue, romanced Solas, confused hardass Dalish girl doing her very best to navigate suddenly being in charge of all of this stuff, cares so much about everyone all the time, terrified but resigned to her responsibilities, self-sacrificing, sense of humor buried under all that sincerity. "I am the Inquisitor, through no virtue of my own. Vir suledin nadas."

Asher Adaar - two-handed warrior, romanced Sera/nobody (bc I meant to romance Sera but didn't know the right dialogue options so I kept waiting for it to pan out and it just sorta didn't), blunt and direct Tal-Vashoth mercenary who gets persuaded that maybe she actually is the herald of andraste, but honestly just wants to handle the things with as little religious and/or political nonsense as possible, blunt and violent. "We save Thedas TWICE, my hand wants to kill me, we save the exalted council specifically, and this is what we get?"

Stephan Trevelyan - rift mage, romanced Cassandra, a good sweet Andrastian boy, true prophet who has a meltdown when he finds out about Solas, best friends with Dorian, keeps the inquisition and wants to really save the world, a genuine idealist, stubborn AF. "Faith is a choice. The Maker set these events in motion so long ago we can no longer see His hand in them."

Samahl Lavellan - tempest knife rogue, romances Dorian, cheerful, sarcastic, and overwhelmed, insanely competent but good at hiding it, terrible little bastard, hates responsibilities, laughs in the face of danger (and Cassandra), keeps insisting he's not the Herald, kinda lazy. "I guess I'm learning now, aren't I, Mother?"

Riska Cadash - artificer knife rogue, romances Sera, direct and sometimes brutal but ultimately caring, criminal upbringing noble fashion sense, besties with Blackwall, andrastian and confused, consistently astonished by how easy it is to get things when you're the most important person in the world, one of my younger inquisitors but she doesn't act like it very often, really only when she's with Sera. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Dahlia Trevelyan - mortalitasi lightning mage, romances Blackwall, cheerfully irreverent young noblewoman flexing the edges of what she's allowed in this new role, filled with chaos and violence and entitlement. Fully does not believe in the Maker. Classically beautiful but with blue-gold eyes that go past "striking" into "genuinely unsettling" and, she caught some shrapnel from a spell gone wrong with her face a few years back so she's got distinctive scars. "Hey, look, at least dragons are real."

The Trio (all of whom have individual playthroughs but also come as a set)

Isene Lavellan - fire/rift mage, romances Iron Bull, primarily jokes and asks questions, basically a horrible mix of Miriani and Samahl. Sweet and a bit of a brat but ultimately up to the challenge. A disaster at the winter palace. Her general response to her workload getting heavier is to adjust the straps that hold the world on her back and carry on with a smile. "Bull, remind me why I accepted this job? Oh, right."

Harea Lavellan - knight enchanter and ice mage, romances Cullen, open minded and sweet, a bit naive but genuinely wants to make the world better, distressed by the mark and the everything but willing to bear it to keep others from suffering. Self sacrifice is a big theme here. Just a little (read: protected like Wynne) possessed by the actual spirit (of Wrath) who was attendant upon andraste, so she is quite literally the Herald. "No one is irredeemable!"

Rogelan Lavellan - sword and shield warrior, romances Josephine, kind of a hard-ass but willing to be romantic, would rather talk than fight but won't give up his ideals, careful and deliberate in everything he does but bold when he's made a decision. Stoic and pithy, but can be eloquent if he needs to. Understands shem bullshit better than most, because he's the kind of guy who studies the things that scare him. "Tell me how to help."

Continuities

Primary "Cannon" Continuity - Aridhel, Ian (or Iris), and Miriani - Protector, Catalyst, Survivor

Strong code of honor - Saffron, Iris, and Asher - Shield, Dagger, Sword

Fucked Up Andrastians - Theodore, Kiera, Stephan - Ambition, Sorrow, Faith

Terrible Senses of Humor - Renan, Alice, Samahl - Vengeance, Kindness, Laughter

Wrongest Choices - King, Viscount, Divine (I haven't actually made this playthrough but is a male rogue cousland, probably a guy Hawke as well and obviously not a mage but idk what class, and fem warrior Trevelyan)

Dwarf Run - Valda, Delilah, and Riska - Honor, Love, Trust

Definitely Not Possessed - Emmaera, Quinn, and Harea - Council, Temptation, Authority

Three Inkies - Ashaterylen, Andy, Rogelan/Harea/Isene - Sacrifice, Victory, Vigilance

[ultramarine-spirit]

Of all the parts of the novel that never appeared in the manhwa, which one would you have liked to see?

Well, the lucathy kiss scene is a given. Not only it is super romantic and cute, but we get to see Athy reach 18 years old and achieve her original goal of surviving until then.

Other than that, in no particular order:

- Lucas and Athy walking on air à la Howl's Moving Castle at their market date. One of the vendors calling Athy Lucas' girlfriend, Lucas wanting to deny it but Athy shutting him up so they got free food.

- Athy asking Lily if she wanted to get married and have a child, but Lily answering she loved Athy as a daughter and that she just wanted to stay by her side forever. Athy then replying Lily was like her mom to her.

- Lucas gifting Athy Nox. It's cute, but it also addresses how Athy felt incredibly lonely without Lucas and after Blackie's death (she didn't get over it as easily as in the manhwa), and having something truly of her own, not of the "character Athanasia". She also called Nox "the child you gave me" in front of Lucas which is so funny.

- Felix freaking out about getting old and offending Claude in the process because he is older than Felix. Claude forcing Felix to drink gross soup to "stay healthy" (torturing him) but Felix not catching on and being moved because Claude "worried so much for him".

- Athy inviting Lucas to see the stars while laying in bed.

- Every Single Cabel Scene. His duel with Lucas was especially hilarious. Him gifting Athy flowers from her own garden and Athy being offended parallels manhwa! Athy being charmed when Lucas did the same. Double standards much, Athy?

- Lucathy's second market date when Lucas doesn't deny being Athy's boyfriend.

- Lucathy's tea party over the lake. It wasn't anything special from a narrative point of view, but it was super sweet and fun.

- Athy insulting the men that harassed her and Jennette when they visited the market (using very colorful slang) and kicking them in the nuts with a candy powered by her mana.

- All of LP!Lucas' scenes. This was always impossible because Spoon wouldn't (and didn't) include the LP extras in the manhwa (I understand, it would make the fandom hate like 75% of the characters), but LP!Lucas was so great OTL.

- Athy defending Lucas in front of Claude and Claude saying he must have cursed/bewitched Athy lmfao.

- Athy shutting Roger and the foreign nobles up (who called her a weak and fragile princess and tried to choose a husband for her) by bending a silver spoon in two.

- Ijekiel rejecting Jennette. It was much more compelling in the novel, expanding on their relationship in a way the manhwa didn't at all, making it a lot less interesting. I wish the manhwa would have kept it as it was, I think both of their characters changed for the worse without that added depth.

- Jennette actually getting upset over literally everyone lying to her. Her reaction in the manhwa is just so unrealistic. Jennette showing her ugly emotions in general, Spoon really didn't let her and it made her character flatter.

- Duchess Alpheus making a small appearance. Ijekiel, are you an orphan in the manhwa?

- Aety being his own character separated from Ana. He was way funnier like that and his motives made more sense, even if he was a clown. Everyone recognizing he was just a fucked up dude.

- CHIEF GRANDPA ASKING FOR ATHY'S HAIR AND BLOOD. Claude exploding half of the tower in retaliation, and then Lucas exploding the other half when he found out.

- Lucas' whole relationship with the royal wizards (who were all ikemen, including Chief Grandpa, by the way). Lucas torturing them, the wizards hating his guts, them not believing Lucas could be in love, Chief Grandpa trying to sell Lucas as a groom to Athy.

-Lucas stabbing Claude AND Athy with the World Tree's branch. Yeah, I know it would have clashed with the more dramatic tone of the manhwa, but it was so good. Athy calling him a murderer was hilarious.

- Athy hiding Claude's identity with magic when they visited the city making him look super ugly and the local men making fun of him. Claude then teaching Athy how to gamble and crushing said men at their own game. Poor Athy thought he was trying to teach her a moral lesson lmao.

- Athy's 18th birthday party, her dance with Lucas and Helena's POV of the whole thing. Yes, it was as hysterical as it sounds.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

2, 18, 20? For the writing ask game?

Of course! ^^

2. That makes me laugh

... I don't think I have one. The most you might get out of me is a smile. Maybe, maybe a chuckle. Which... would be this? I suppose

“But I do need be properly introduced to the…” she paused to clear her throat, “the other King, do I not? Or what are the power dynamics between him and Julius?” “Augustus is the King of Clover Kingdom while Julius is the highest-ranking official among us knights. To put it simply.” “So technically Julius is in command of the armed forces of the kingdom?” “No, Augustus has the final say.” “So… Augustus could… beat Julius in a fight…?” She asked with a tone, which made it clear that even she didn’t believe her question. Fuego burst into laughter with her question, him placing his hand over his face. “I take that as a simple ‘no bloody way in a frozen over hell would that ever happen’,” she remarked after his laughter had calmed down. “Which begs the question: why have someone so weak, self-centred, and-“ “Incompetent?” She paused for a moment, before continuing: “Your words, not mine.” “Just between us.” “Naturally,” she affirmed, sealing the promise with a peck on his lips. “But yes. Why keep someone like him on the throne?” “The nobles keep him there out of tradition. The rest of us keep him around as our scapegoat.”

18. From that one WIP everyone has that has no plot, just vibes

This actually did have a plot, but alas... I think I incorporated something from this to a whump piece

But as his gaze continued further down, he saw how her spear had penetrated through his stomach. And his blood had coated the already rusted surface of Acier’s spell that was crumbling away, the same as his. They both were still forcing out mana, forcing out mana in a world where magic was life. I see… you don’t… forgive me… I’ve been a bad son, and a bad brother…. I’m sorry mom… I’m so so sorry. I didn’t-, I didn’t know how to be better. I’m sorry… I’m sorry… His vision faded away as he felt his body breaking from under him. There was a yell somewhere far away. Maybe, maybe someone calling out his name. “I’m sorry… for… being… a bad… brother….” He still mumbled as the hands of death yanked him. Or at least he hoped that they’d be the hands of death. He thought them to be too warm for it, but the blissful arms of never-ending sleep were better than the arms of a demon. There was a scream. And he hoped it was that of the approaching dark cloaked harbinger.   But instead of the sweet release of death, what he could hear, as if a whisper, in his mind through the approaching frost and darkness, was the voice of Acier. "You... killed my son too... Didn't you..? I thought that he was going to grow strong... But I guess I was ...wrong...."

20. From a scrapped project

I think this is scrapped at this point

The light is always there. But it can be seen only because it’s set in darkness. There is the bright light above, but it needs to travel through the endless space to get here. The vast, the empty, and the unknown. And the sun… The sun is in that very darkness. It pulsates in it. It lives in it. Even if it doesn’t seem like it. Because what we see is light, all around, which makes people smile. It makes them happy, and casts away worries and doubts, though there has to be some shadows dancing around. Since that’s how light work. Where there is light, there are shadows. But. What people seem to forget, is that light may only thrive in darkness. There’s no need for a source of light, in light. But when it’s set in darkness, it’s warmth and comforting presence is valued far more. How ironic, if you think about it. People take it for granted, until it’s gone. Until there’s nothing but shadows, dancing over the walls. Until it’s cold. And dark. Night. The night sky… It’s so vast…. Endless. And yet, somehow… those small specks of light bring people hope. The distant suns. Because the sun is also a star. It is that, and so much more. It’s a source of hope. But now, there is no sun. And it’s getting dark.

[navree]

lol yeah, it was on Twitter. it was brought up today when someone made a post on how aegon was/is alicent’s favorite. ppl jumped in questioning how alicent can truly love and choose her son when he’s a rapist and then things devolved from there. 🥲

anyways, i don’t want to bother you with my pre-baked thoughts and opinions so feel free to ignore but i feel like the writers are trying to tell two different, somewhat conflicting narratives - one, how it was only the patriarchy that stole the chosen one’s throne, and two, how the throne devours anyone and everyone who seeks it, causing characterization and storylines to clash.

imo the show lacks intersectionality. there are three main-ish characters they could use to explore this: cole, an ethnic minority and low-born (we know he’s not from some high noble home) who holds his knighthood, the epitome of a noble man, in high regard when in actuality they’re all protecting a corrupt system, Larys, who I remember during the hunt episode said he can’t partake in “things of men” or something like that due to his disability, and aegon, who inherited a birthright and role just because he was born male yet he doesn’t want it and doesn’t want what comes with being a targaryen son.

idk, these are just some thoughts. the patriarchy is a tool used to protect power and it affects women and men. all this to say, maybe they should have thought twice about making aegon a rapist (not every “bad” guy has to be a rapist).

First things first, sorry that Alicent feels a deep and unabiding love for her kids even when they do bad things, idk who hurt y'all but my mom once flat out told me that if I killed someone in cold blood she'd still love me even if was also disappointed.

(and also there's something about aegon being alicent's first kid and what he represented in a very lonely time in her life and all the complexities around their relationship and how they'll draw closer but i've discussed that a fair amount already in other posts)

I think you're hitting onto something when it's come to conflicting narratives within the show. I've mentioned this before, but this show has a significantly larger writing room than GOT and nearly every episode has a different writer, which means we've got ten different people telling their own stories in the midst of the overall story and eventually all coming into conflict. There's also just a lot of missed opportunities, like how Criston and Larys have interesting stories (one is an ethnic minority from a place that isn't even a part of the Seven Kingdoms and is at frequent odds with them as well as being lowborn, one is physically disabled and clearly discriminated against in his patriarchal culture due to that) that just aren't being explored, which I think is also due to how they rushed the timeline in this season. It does make the writing disjointed, and you get Rhaenys still bitter about being passed over one episode and then telling Corlys to let it go because she has the next, Aegon the irreverent rapist in one episode and then the guy who is willing to protect his mother from a dragon before she stops him in the next, etc. People can clash with themselves on occasion, that's called character growth, but when it just happens out of the blue because one guy wrote one thing and then the next guy wrote the other, it's just weird.

I'm always a bit leery of "the patriarchy affects men too" takes because, I mean yeah but that's realllllly not the main issue, that's a several rungs down the ladder sort of issue, but the show does have a problem in that it has a very surface level understanding of things like the patriarchy and sexism and how misogyny comes into play with other issues like class divide and rigid social structures and caste systems. That's why there's this odd thing they're doing with the idea that Rhaenya "Chosen By The White Hart Like This Is Actually The Last Unicorn" Targaryen is going to solve sexism just by being a woman on the throne and not delving deeper into that and the complex political power structures that rely on misogyny in Westeros. It's a very shallow understanding and it can make for a shallow story.

Aegon being a rapist meanwhile is just such an incredibly stupid and inconsequential choice that I hate for such a myriad of reasons that honestly? Unless they do something more substantial with that in upcoming seasons I'm gonna start ignoring it the way Viserys ignores his children because it is giving nothing. It's an especially galling choice because a) Aegon should not be "the bad guy", he is the leader of the other major faction in a full civil war, we should be getting his point of view and understanding his point of view and as TGC said, introducing him first thing as a predator turns a lot of people immediately off with no hope of getting them back and b) everything else they've done with Aegon is stuff I've really liked. Aegon wanting love so desperately but feeling like he's never gotten it and how that permeates his every interaction with the world, Aegon needing to be drunk constantly to cope with daily life because of how pained he feels (and specifically apparently needing to get blackout drunk before he engages in any sexual act, as told to us by Helaena, which is just such a wonderfully horrible bit of character information I don't see anyone discussing), Aegon being by and large a bit of a shit person but still feeling his affections deep down, like giving Helaena a present after "cheating" on her and immediately defending Aemond against Luke after he couldn't before and choosing to go along with Aemond and lie for Alicent even when his dad was screaming at him because for whatever else, even beyond bullying and forced incest marriages and feeling like his mom doesn't love him that's still his family and he does love them even if he thinks they don't love him back, his genre awareness, the way he, like Alicent, is doing his duty by becoming king even though he doesn't want it and hates everything about it and is terrififed of his fate. There's genuinely so much they've done with Aegon that's made him such a brilliant character to me, and one that I want to see more of (TGC I wanna see the Emmy winning acting in season 2, I know you can do it). So having this one stupid choice mucking it all up is incredibly annoying and so futile to the story at large, I hate it, I wanna kill it with dragonfire.

[grapecaseschoices]

For the tav backstories ask, how about 3, 7, 17, 23 for all of your tavs hehe (also jsyk I’m gonna properly answer your ask for these after work since I answered the wrong ask game lmaoooo)

[no pressure!! but yay!]

3. Who was your Tav raised by?

Wow you're really making me think!

Sekryd: I think by local guild members, my brain wants to say this. I'm doing a quick and dirty research run and it seems Gold Dwarves don't like anyone, in short. Except each other and mostly humans. LMAO.

I think her parents were traveling merchants. She didn't always travel with them but sometimes she did. When she was left behind in BG I think the guild as a whole helped raise her. Various aunts and uncles and piblings by heart if not name. Mostly though, it was an much older aunt that she saw as a grandmother.

Adair: His nanny on paper, but xyr's servents in reality. Mom was occasionally around and active. But it was mainly her nanny a nd the butler.

Orfeo: Himself. The streets? the occasional sympathetic and/or taking-advantage-of-a-hungry-urchin shopkeep. the occasional sympathetic and/or taking-advantage-of-a-hungry-urchin crimimal. But usually other street kids. But mostly himself.

Kaeliana: I'm still trying to feel around on the durge bg and what I want to work for her. Fel, of course, was one of the people. But I think she had foster or adopted parents for a time -- they were good people. I feel before that maybe a group home?

Integrity: His older sister and an elderly aunt for a time. [This may change but it works; definitely leans towards his protectiveness for tiefling women. Especially the ballsy ones.]

Andy: Too many people. If you could call some of it "raising". People who saw him as either an obligation or a tool. But the people who really raised him were his parents, for a time, and then his older cousin.

Kendis: Her parents and her brother.

7. Did your Tav travel a lot pre-tadpole?

Sekryd: Moderately. Mostly around BG. Mostly for business outside of it. She has passing familiarity with parts of the areas around her city. Waterdeep, Candlekeep. Been to the Sword Coast once.

Adair: To a couple of places extensively but not in the way xe is now. Mostly was a "homebody", in the sense that they had to be at home due to responsibilities [Noble, you see]. But, of course, would visit other nobles and etc.

Orfeo: [This may change] But I feel he was JUST starting out. He probably made out around the city and surrounding areas and was just venturing outward before he was snatched.

Kaeliana: She doesn't remember ... jk. Yes. Seems that Durge got busy and bloody.

Integrity: For a time. Before the hermit life. Call it the indiscretion of youth.

Andy & Kendis: Yes. Andy mostly lmao. Vengeance path!

17. What’s your Tav’s worst childhood memory?

Sekryd: Some other child, maybe another kid of a guild member, borrowing a book of hers and basically returning it like shit.

Adair: Her grandfather didn't really acknowledge her existence [but he was the only child of his beloved - though rebellious - eldest daughter]. But one time he invited her to an event, she was very excited. However, the night was -- not the best ... xe was used to people's muttered comments but usually they never stared xyr down. I guess it's different among your grandfather's people vs other nobles. The cherry on the cake was her drunk grandfather who left for home without her.

Orfeo: Just one?

Kaeliana: Blood. Blood. Bloodbloodbloodblood. She wish she could say it was that but that group home was the pits. Strangely she remembers THAT.

Integrity: Other than the racism, it was good. Most of his horrid memories started at their later teenhood [still a child, arguably. and yes they would argue.]

Andy: Man. ROFLMAO. Where do we begin~~ But no. It will always be his parents. His parents went on a trip and the boat disappeared.

Kendis: When their parents left her behind in the grove. They understand the reasoning, but it doesn't make what happened around it any better. For a time she thought they had died.

23. Share any hcs/anything you want to say about your Tav’s backstory

Sekryd: I believe has a skilled hand with a hammer. She will read. Anything. May be my most curious. That's saying something given Andy, Kendis, and Integrity are in the lot.

Adair: Is surprisingly a guile hero. Surprising because xe tends to lean straightfoward and blunt regularly. But I suppose facing fiends and ogres require the same silver tongue as dealing with nobles. I also picture him dedicated to his people [who have warm up to her and some also are protective].

Orfeo: He tried his hand at criminality [if yall were gonna arrest him for being poor, why not actually do something worth it yeah?]. But not really for him; far too cut throat [towards him .... and you know, maybe other people. Maybe he cares about that too.] Still. He has his moments and remembers some things.

Kaeliana: I haven't reached it all in Act 3. But I think before Orin got her, Kae was starting to wonder. Starting to have a change of heart. Before Wyll. I think it was from being a paladin.

Integrity: I put outlander in his bg but he's a Hermit. He left his grove/people/wte. Fuck them druids.

Andy:

Tremble for yourself, my man You know that you have seen this all before Tremble, little lion man You'll never settle any of your scores

Your grace is wasted in your face Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else Spend your days biting your own neck

Kendis: Very much still dead not-gf central.

[unreadpoppy]

LET'S DO IT. Care to share some info about your OC? Or a Raph headcanon?

One of the 2 headcanons i have of Raph is that he has a breeding kink. Like i don't care that he is ALLEGEDLY bad at sex in canon, you cannot tell me that once he got his hands on that sweet sweet crown and conquered all 9 hells he wouldn't be like "damn i gotta make a legacy off my own" and just.... try to get as many people as possible pregnant. Would he raise the children? Probably not, but i do think he would be intent on having like a lineage of tieflings that can all the traced back to him

My other headcanon is that he likes going to the theater, to watch like an opera, a play or a ballet. He just seems to me like someone who would appreciate the arts.

As for my OC's, at this point is so many I'll just give a quick run down of some of them (important to note, they were/are my dnd characters, although i've only been able to play with 2 of them)(also you'll quickly notice i have a thing for tieflings).

Gwendolyn "Gwen" Gray is a tiefling warlock/sorcerer whose mom had made a deal with a devil in the past and resulted in Gwen being born. She was raised by her mom in the middle of the woods and she was always very creative and hyperactive, and she wanted to see the world. At some point she discovers the truth about her dad and she makes a deal with him so that she'll be able to leave her mom (basically like hey dad gimme some powers so i don't die while adventuring and i'll do whatever you want). She has a pseudodragon familiar named Pendragon. When I played with her, Gwen was known for making very questionable decisions and throwing caution to the wind, and also taking/buying stuff she didn't need. I've played with her for like a year and a half until me and the other players quit the campaign due to some issues and if i get the chance, i'll probably play with her again in the future if i'm able to.

Elizabeth Adawolf is a human blood hunter who grew up as the second oldest child of an important duke, but on the day of her wedding with another noble, the church caught on fire and she was the only one who made it out alive (which is why half of her face is covered in burn scars and she doesn't have sight in one eye). The person who saved her was a tiefling blood hunter named Kallista and Elizabeth ended up staying with the blood hunters, and becoming part of the order of the lycan. She and Kallista fell in love and they had plans of leaving one day but were found out and during a confrontation, Elizabeth had to flee while kallista almost died. Elizabeth also discovered that the fire wasn't a random accident and when the campagin begun, she was being hunter down by the same person who killed her family. She is the only character I currently play with so she got even more traumatized during the campaign. She's a leader and the champion of the sun goddess, even thought she didn't ask for either of those, she's very anxious and also she loves swords and beheading an assholes. Also, I have written like 3 fanfics involving her (is it a fanfic if it is your own character?).

Also, Elizabeth's campaign is on hiatus but it's cause the DM decided to do a smaller campagin in the same world but in another part of the continent and in that one I'm playing as Kallista(who is a barbarian).

Galatea von DeWilde is, you guessed it, a tiefling whose parents were nobles who had trouble conceiving so they were told by this witch to do a certain ritual and 9 months later, a tiefling was born (even though her dad is human and her mom is an elf). Even thought her parents loved her, she was ostracized by her grandmother and some other family members but she didn't care much. When she was 5, her parents managed to have another child, this one being a regular half-elf. Galatea loved her sister but it did hurt her that some people seemed to care more about the new baby then her and after hearing her grandma say some hurtful things about her, Galatea starts manifesting some magic and also this shadow guy (who she saw as an imaginary friend) starts talking to her. She kept both of those things to herself. Also, when she began to use magic, a black spot appeared on one of her arms, and the more she uses it, the more is grows and at this point, her whole hand up to her wrist is pitch black. Anyways, she eventually runs away from home when her sister tells her that she overheard their mother and grandmother talking about marrying Galatea to some random guy so she would be far away. I haven't been able to play with this character yet and at this point i doubt I will but oh well.

Nyx Lenoir was a tielfing born on a cold winter's night to human parents. They were a happy little family and she was a sorcerer like her mom. Because the place they lived was very hostile towards tieflings, her paretns tried to keep her hidden but one day they had to go to a nearby town and this man discovered that she had magic by accident. The following day her home gets invaded and she is separated from her parents and taken to this magic school that is really shitty but she makes some friends and a rival. Eventually, she drops out of the school and goes to live on her own, while also trying to figure out what happened to her parents. She is a sorcerer/divination wizard, she likes mapping the stars and because i wrote this character while i had a hyperfixation on bears, she studied bears for a long time. She has a familiar named Griffin, and she's infamous in my dnd group because her background is a 24 page document, out of which 17 pages are just writing (the rest are reference pics). Also, I haven't played with her yet bu the DM promised that he would begin the campagin next year.

And as a bonus, shout out to my first OC, Solana Starfury, who was a high elf necromancer, who came from a warrior family and was kicked out of her home cause she couldn't lift a sword to help herself. First dnd character I ever made and played with, her campagin ended abruptly due to the DM having some IRL problems. I miss her.

Anyways, I skipped physical appearences description because this answer is already way too long so feel free to ask away.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Lindsay Lohan is probably one of the saddest cases of what happens to a child star that you can imagine. Once a promising talent starring in beloved films like The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, and Mean Girls, everything seemed to be on track for Lohan to have an incredible career… and then came the downward spiral. When you put the weight of being “the next big thing” on the shoulders of a child, it’s not gonna be easy for them to cope, and so this led to underage drinking with her mom, erratic behavior, and several trips to rehab.

During one of those trips, she was released to film a movie: I Know Who Killed Me. And while filming it, the subhuman leeches we know as paparazzi harassed her incessantly. The poor woman could not get a break at all, and in the end it led to a film that was so poorly reviewed and bombed so hard that it not only derailed her career in a way she couldn’t recover from, it got eight Razzie nominations (which is meaningless to be fair) and destroyed the director and writer’s careers pretty thoroughly. And worse than that, Lohan became the punchline for every unfunny hack television comedian out there. It really shows just how callous people were towards former child stars a little over a decade ago.

But as time has gone on and sympathy towards children abused by the Hollywood system has become the rule instead of an exception, this film has started to be reevaluated. In the 2010s and 2020s the film has started developing a cult following among people who appreciate its Giallo-inspired surrealism, intriguing plot, and its reflection of Lohan’s real life troubles in the plot. This isn’t exactly an uncommon fate for films of the 2000s led by then-controversial actresses—Jennifer’s Body has received a similar reevaluation and cult classic status—but considering just how reviled this film was when it came out, it is a little surprising to hear.

Then again, I think it’s pretty apparent this film could never be so bad; no matter how I would end up feeling about this movie going in, I knew that ultimately whatever hate this film got was likely overblown due to the tabloids at the time being out for Lohan’s blood. Now that I’ve seen it, and keeping what I just said in mind… Is I Know Who Killed Me really that bad?

THE GOOD

Lindsay Lohan, full stop.

While the writing surrounding her characters isn’t always amazing, I definitely think she’s putting her all into the performance (well, maybe not her all; those clauses in her contract kept her from full nudity in the strip scenes, which I honestly think was good). Dakota is a bit of a jerk with a heart of gold, and while she has a lot of flaws she ultimately comes off as the most noble character in the movie… for whatever that’s worth.

Also, as amateurish as it is, I am a sucker for the red-blue color symbolism the movie has going for it. I also really like the weird and surreal elements of the movie, like the psychic link and stigmata. These things aren’t taken quite as far as they could be, sadly, but it’s a bit more creative than you’d think a film like this would attempt. One thing that can’t be said about this film is that it isn’t stylish, even if it’s stylish in a pretty simple way.

The very best thing about this movie, though, isn’t even anything in the actual movie. Rather, it’s how this movie is a parallel to Lohan’s own real life. Dakota is an angry, flawed human girl who wakes up one day mistaken for this perfect angel of a girl that she clearly isn’t, and everyone around her keeps insisting she’s this perfect girl, all while ignoring her pleas for help because it’s just not convenient for them. It’s eerily on the nose in symbolically portraying the nightmare scenarios Lohan had to experience, and it manages to help at least make the film a bit more compelling than it would be otherwise.

THE BAD

So the movie has a lot of great subtext about how its plot can kind of relate to the nightmare Lohan was going through in real life. That’s neat, but it’s more a happy coincidence than anything that lets you recontextualize the film. What we actually have in the film is just...okay.

There are so many intriguing elements in it: Psychic twins! Stigmata! Red and blue color contrast! Buying a baby off a crackhead! But none of these elements are really held on or fleshed out enough to really be interesting. Like, look at the reveal of who the killer is. It turns out the killer was Aubrey’s piano teacher, a character who had one appearance at the start and basically never appeared again until the climax. His motives are unclear, his obsessions aren’t explained at all, all those prosthetic legs he has hanging around make no sense… Like I get ambiguity is important to these kinds of movies, but there’s a point where ambiguity goes from making something unsettling and mysterious to being really annoying. And it’s an easy fix too! Like give him a more sensible obsession like, oh, let’s say hands (he is a piano teacher after all) and then maybe at the climax have him go into a whole monologue about why he likes women’s hands. Maybe it’s because when he was a child he saw a picture of a famous painting in one of his school books and got a boner. I don’t know, just throwing out ideas here.

It doesn’t help that every single character in this movie is a cunt except Aubrey and her mom. Dakota I give at least a little slack, because having a jaded but driven protagonist is always fun, but she fucks her twin sister’s boyfriend and is pretty hostile to the people around her. Aubrey’s dad bought Aubrey off her bio mom and never told his wife and refused to help Dakota at all until the very end despite knowing she was right, the cops are all utterly incompetent and unpleasant, Aubrey’s boyfriend cheats on her at the drop of a hat just because he meets a girl who looks like her… It’s really hard to root for anyone here. Again, Aubrey and her mom are sympathetic, but they’re barely in the film. Aubrey is a plot device more than anything, and her mom just spends much of her screentime being a punching bag, facing Dakota’s anger or having to listen to her fuck Aubrey’s boyfriend, and by the end of the movie her husband is dead too.

Speaking of the ending, the movie just ends. Like Dakota finds Aubrey, lies down next to her, and then… That’s it. There’s not much in the way of closure of any kind, there’s not really any sort of ending… Maybe this wouldn’t be quite as frustrating since this is pretty typical of these kind of thrillers and can be effective, but the entire rest of this film is filled with so much surreal nonsense and amateurish storytelling and use of symbolism that it feels like a cheat. And the thing is, they had an ending that would have justified this! On the home media releases, there is an alternate ending that reveals the entire story was merely a book report being written by Aubrey, who essentially split her personality in two to make the twins (which is suggested by her smoking while she writes and the fact she’s wearing purple. You know, red plus blue).

And suddenly, everything makes sense: The amateur use of color-coding. The nonsensical symbolism of owls. The characters all acting like assholes. The lack of closure or cohesion. This all feels like shit a teenager would write… and with the original ending, that’s what it would have been! It probably still would have infuriated audiences, but I think it would have added a bit of brilliance to the film that would have helped it find its cult audience faster. It’s definitely not the film-saving masterpiece alternate ending that Fatal Attraction has, but I think it would have been a pretty bold way to conclude the film as opposed to the literal nothing that we got.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Like I said, it could never be quite as bad as critics said it was, and it’s definitely not bad enough to deserve so many Razzie nominations; everything bad said about this film is colored with the disgusting disdain for a troubled young woman who buckled under the gaze of the entire world. The question then becomes, “Is this movie any good?” And the answer to that is… eh.

Look, I can see why this has a cult following, and honestly, if you want to get a teen into Giallo films this is an okay choice as “Baby’s First Giallo-Inspired Thriller.” But I find the whole thing to not really rise above being just an okay movie at any given opportunity, and a lot of the symbolism and writing choices are extremely shallow (even if I mostly find it charming). If you’re a fan of the movie, more power to you! I certainly don’t hate this film. I just don’t particularly love it.

With that said, this score is just unfairly low. Somewhere between 5.6 – or 6.1 would be fine. Nothing about this movie is so offensively bad that it needs to be skirting with landing on the bottom 100. It’s a perfectly okay thriller with some decent parts and inspired elements that I just never felt congealed into anything greater, not some truly abysmal piece of garbage. I think I’d compare it to films I’ve already reviewed here like Boxing Helena or Gigli, films that never get to be quite as good as they should be but have unfairly negative reputations around them.

So yeah... I’m sadly not part of this movie’s cult following, but at least I can acknowledge it has gotten a pretty unfair rep due to forces outside its control that people weren’t particularly empathetic towards back in the day. It’s ok.