#as far as i know. your video will just be not helped by the algorithm and demonetised and a loooot of cc refuse that

[justaholeinmysoul]

Everyone knows unalive or muting words or writing them like k14l3r but I recently heard self terminate in a yt video and I was like dude

[authorhjk1]

Surviving NNN

Part Six: Lost

Karina rests her head against the shower wall. The warm water hits her back and shoulders, before cascading down her frame. She presses her cheek against the cold tiles as she tries to make herself climax. Her right hand is inbetween her legs, while the left is planted against the wall.

She was in a constant state of horniness throughout this month, knowing that her boyfriend is living together with three of her friends. Karina tried not to touch herself, but she has finally reached her braking point. And what broke her? As you expected, the song about your night together makes Karina's eyes roll to the back of her head as she gets herself off in the hotel room shower.

Her moans are not audible underneath the shower. But her shaking body is more evidence one needs to figure out what's going on. Your mini album just came out. Because it's a small one and not long after your last comeback, there is no MV. Partially because it would be weird to shoot one, if the woman in it is not Karina.

As soon as she heard the song, your girlfriend couldn't help herself any longer. She missed your touch over the last weeks, her mind drawn to you whenever she is not completely busy.

Karina cums on her own fingers, thinking about that night. Thinking about the three girls that are with you. Thinking about the first day of December.

Two days before:

You look at Minju, at the screen of your TV, and back to Minju.

"What is going on?"

You swear you have never seen her cheeks turn this pink. Her eyes are darker than usual, while they avoid your gaze. Her right hand is underneath a blanket, while her left is playing nervously with its hem.

"This-This is not what it looks like."

She closes her eyes, knowing you wouldn't belive her. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. She was supposed to seduce you. Not get caught by you, while having half of your TV remote stuffed inside her needy snatch.

"I-I just got myself a glass of water and stopped the video. I was about to play it now."

"But why are you watching my stuff?"

She does look suspicious to you.

"I just watched Dreamcatcher's new comeback and this was next on the algorithm."

"Oh, alright."

You play dumb, knowing what's going on. There is no way that a performance video of yours is played right after Dreamcatcher's new MV. And Minju's hand underneath the blanket must be doing more than just holding the remote. But you let her be, flattered that she is actually getting off to you. You don't confront her, kmowing that it might lead to your own downfall.

Present:

Unbeknownst to you, two of the four girls have already failed the challenge. Chaewon and Karina. Minju got interrupted by you and got back to her senses. Yena has been holding out quite well so far. Until she blindly walks into your room.

Iit is night and Yena confused your door with hers as she came back from the bathroom. She is now standing in the doorframe, looking at you sleeping. You must have thrown off your blanket in the middle of the night, since its lying right next to you. Yena is enjoying the view of your mostly naked body, before she catches herself staring.

She shakes her head, dismissing the idea that just creeped into her mind. She is about to turn around, when she hears you groan quietly in your sleep. The deep sound makes Yena stay. She has been trying to resist her need for release since you let her listen to your songs.

She doesn't move for a couple of moments, thinking about what she should do.

Oh fuck it. Might as well try.

Yena slowly walks towards your bed, before kneeling onto the edge. She does her best to not touch your legs as she scoots closer towards your core. Her eyes are on your underwear, the outlines of your cock barely visible under the moonlight.

She licks her lips, before trying to take off your boxers. Which isn't as easy as it seems, since you don't move your hips. The only thing Yena can do is pull down your waistband.

Her eyes grow wide when she sees your cock in real life. Karina's picture was nice and all. But up close your cock looks even better. Bigger.

She hesistantly gives your tip a kiss, testing the waters. When she sees no reaction, Yena opens, her mouth, ready to suck your cock. Her lips wrap around your tip, both of her hands slightly pulling your waistband down. Yena closes her eyes as she relishes in the feeling of your cock in her mouth. This might be cheating. But if she can make you cum like this... Her lips form a smile around your dick as she starts to slowly bob her head.

The new sensation of Yena's blowjob changes up your dreams a little. It makes them more sexual. You start to dream of the three girls,giving you head, as Karina rides your face. Unbeknownst to you, the wetness you feel around your cock is real.

Until Yena stops. Her hair keeps getting in the way. She lets your cock slip out of her mouth, letting it fall onto your stomach. She slowly lets go of your boxers, before reaching for her wrist. She takes off the hair band, before starting to put her pink hair into a poytail. She licks her lips as she ties her hair back.

After tugging a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Yena gets right back at it. Like before, she pulls down the waistband of your boxers with two hands. Her mouth kisses along the length of your shaft, before she takes it into her mouth, lifting your cock off your stomach. She tries to stay silent as she continues her work, but can't help an occasional hum.

Her eyes grow wide when she hears footsteps behind her. Yena is unable to turn her head, without letting your cock fall out, so she doesn't see who it is. But when she sees a hand wrap around the lower half of your shaft, she hears Chaewon's voice in her ear.

"Let me have a taste, you slut."

Yena slightly shakes her head, Your cock still inside her mouth. It makes you move, the dream you are having becoming hotter and hotter. The two girls hold their breath, hoping you didn't wake up.

"You have to share."

Chaewon whines, trying to get Yena off your cock. At this rate she might make you cum in your sleep. But that doesn't count, right? She tries to push the older girl away. Yena stands her ground, but Chaewon doesn't give up. Instead of pushing her away, she starts to kiss the lower half of your cock.

Although competing, the two girls work in tandem. When Yena takes more into her mouth, Chaewon kisses towards your base. When Yena almost lets your tip fall out of her mouth, Chaewon kisses upwards, as far as she is able to go.

The two girls suddenly hear a thud in the living room. Their eyes grow wide. Not wanting to get caught, they silently jump off your bed. Yena closes the door behind her, before the two girls run back to their room.

The sound of the door closing makes you stir awake. You had a great dream. You suddenly feel kinda odd. Your cock feels...wet. What the hell? Was the dream too good? Did you actually cum in your sleep?

You get out of the bed as you feel the urge to use the bathroom. The watermelon right before bed was a bad idea.

Walking through the living room, you stop as your gaze finds Minju, lying on the mattress.

Her blanket is only covering the upper part of her body, which is good for your attempt to last through this month, because you don't see a bra srap on Minju's shoulders.

But her lower half pushes you close nonetheless. She isn't wering pajamas. Only a red, high waisted thong is covering her center. Her cheeks aren't covered at all and you have to use all your discipline to not reach down and take a handful. The waistband is covered with small sparkling stones. You can only read a couple of letters, but realize that it says "Victoria Secret". Karina has one or two of those. You never really expected Minji to wear stuff like this. She always struck you as an innocent, coy girl.

As soon as you shut the bathroom door behind you, Minju starts to move. How did this not work? How are you able to walk past her after not nutting for almost a whole month? Minju grows frustrated with you and herself, ready to use her last option.

She doesn't even think about the possibility that you would never cheat on Karina. She turns around, now lying on her back. She doesn't want to make it too obvious, because that might lead to the wrong reaction on your part. Minju decides to keep her top half covered. But she furiously starts to rub her clit over her panties. Her goal? To create a big wet spot on her panties, before you come back out.

When she hears you use the sink, she feels the wet fabric over her pussy. It was almost too easy to make herself wet and almost too hard to stop. The excitment of the chance to get to fuck you in the next couple of minutes makes Minju sigh. She closes her eyes again as she sees the light in the bathroom turn off.

You step out of the room, seeing Minju now lying on her back. Even with barely any light at all, the wet spot on her thong is visible. You grow hard at the sight. It would be too easy to...

You shake your head. You would never cheat on Karina.

Minju hears you leaving. Without thinking, she starts to whisper.

"Oh, oppa. That feels so good."

Your heart stops as you turn around. Minju's brows are furrowed as she rubs her thighs together.

"How do you even fit in me?"

Another moan makes you even harder. You step forward. Your mind on the edge of breaking.

You have held out for almost a month without cuming now. You have a feeling that the three girls keep trying to make you fail. Or even try to get you to fuck them. Does Karina know about this? Did she plan this? That ridiculous thought enters your head. No way. Karina would never want to see you with another woman. Right? She never talked about something like this.

And here you are. Now towering over Minju as the young woman pretends to have a wet dream about you. Her occasional moans make you want to pound her hard.

"Inside of me. Breed me."

[atanx]

James Somerton's "A Measured Response": A Measured Response

so I watched a reupload of the video because idk i like to torture myself. and i took a bunch of notes:

“I tried to be a voice for every member of the queer community, but that was a failed endeavour before it even started.”

what a strange way to say ‘I tried making it seem like I’m the only queer creator and stole from and actively harmed people in the queer community. knowingly. purposefully. and when I was called out in the past I tried to hide it.'

“I'm a cis, white, gay man. No matter how much I try to be a good spokesperson, I can never really, truly, understand the life experiences of other, far more put upon,  members of the queer community.”

so of course I stole and hid work from the people I can't understand, gutting it of their personal experiences and refused to redirect my audience to those people so that they can enrich themselves and hear about issues pertaining them from someone who actually does understand.

“...one of the reasons I used their own words. But I should have made it clear that that was what I was doing.”

BITCH YOU STOLE. YOU GUTTED THEIR STORIES OF MEANINGFUL PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. YOU WEREN'T USING THEIR WORDS TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND YOU WERE MILKING THEM FOR CONTENT AND DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF ACTUAL, SOULFUL, MEANINGFUL ARTICLES AND BOOKS AND DOCUMENTARIES AND VIDEOS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING INSTEAD.

“Being a cis white man I thought I might win over some people who otherwise wouldn't listen.”

Yeah sure. Because racist transphobes are going to be watching your badly plagiarised gay film analysis.

“I would also like to apologise to Jessie Gender, who is one of the kindest people I ever met. Through my hot-headedness, I drew her into this anger spiral.”

‘through my hotheadedness.’. shirking responsibility onto an ‘ingrained personality trait of yours’ I see.

if you are so honestly sorry for being an asshole to Jessie why don't you fucking apologise to her directly? privately? not as a way to boost your own fucking image??

he's trying to earn good will by complimenting Jessie Gender “oh he knows to compliment an awesome person we have that in common I guess he can't be so bad after all” fuck you I recognise your strategies and it's gross to drag Jessie into this like that, she spoke out against you and you are trying to imply some sort of friendship or something between you. okay I cannot UNDERSTATE the way he tries to make it seem like they are close in some way and sort of drag her onto his side that's so fucking despicable. as far as I know Jessie Gender does not have a relationship with him of any kind?

once again bringing up death threats I see. obviously death threats are shite and anyone who threatens the dude in seriousness or harasses him will not see the light of heaven as Hbomberguy said but IN AN APOLOGY YOU DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU THAT'S MANIPULATION

also blaming the police for not clarifying a situation in a timely manner - the police are a flaming pile of garbage and I hope the institution explodes but NOT SAYING ANYTHING WAS YOUR CHOICE. THE POLICE DIDN'T MAKE YOU DO SHIT THERE

the problem isn't that you tried to “create a channel where all queer people could be safe”, the problem is that 1) you are a misogynist 2) you yourself engaged in transphobic behaviour and 3) you also actively supressed queer people's voices. The problem isn't that you supposedly wanted a space for all queer people, the problem is that you tried to MONOPOLISE queer literature analysis. fuck, queer doesn't look like a word anymore I've written it too many times now

(paraphrased) “I should have been helping with making queer people's voices discoverable” this makes it seem like he just didn't do anything and not like the reality that he was actively trying to rewrite history and bury LQBTQIA+ voices under his steaming pile of garbage

also BLAMING YOUTUBE AND THE ALGORITHM FOR ‘PUSHING HIM’ because he's cis and white, like maybe they did, I certainly wouldn't be surprised, but that is not why other creators suffered, a large part of that can be attributed to James Somerton stealing their work without any acknowledgement whatsoever apart maybe if they are lucky, a “based on” in the credits or their name flashing on screen for half a second.

“I should have done more to share the voices of other queer people” THAT IMPLIES YOU DID SOMETHING. YOU WERE ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST THAT YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT-

“it was just my dweam to be a youtubew and when my videos gained twaction i felt pwessuwed to make mowe vewy quickly and that's why they wewe so shit uwu” fuck off you weren't pressured into shit you just wanted to make money and that's why you were a content mill

“early on I thought that crediting authors in the opening credits alone was enough” what about the times YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT??? YOU'RE MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE THE DRAMA IS ABOUT YOU CREDITING PEOPLE WRONG WHEN ITS ABOUT YOUR SYSTEMATIC THEFT AND OPPRESSION OF THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE VIDEOS FOR AND ABOUT AND THOSE YOU CLAIM TO MAKE A SAFE SPACE FOR. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS?? WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY IT DOWN

not him using Hbomberguy's example of the DEEP CUTS: SOCIETY AND QUEER HORROR video and claiming he credited all people in the opening scene when Hbomberguy highlighted he DIDNT EVEN CREDIT MOST OF THEM FUCK OFF ARE YOU DELUSIONAL HOW DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

I think I'm going insane this all seems so blatantly fake. he brings up the evil queens video and how he asked Sean Griffin, retroactively, permission to include his work in the video. and he shows a ‘screenshot’ of an email Griffin allegedly wrote to thank him for putting him in the title-card and that he thinks it is ‘a very thoughtful video’. only the text of the email header, such as Griffin's name, the RE:, and the To: is a lot smaller than the ‘text’ in the email, which leads me to believe that the below text is edited in some way. And with how hard James is trying to rewrite history, it wouldn't surprise me if he literally rewrote the email or cut things out to present himself in a more positive light. obviously I can't prove that the email is fake but I'll just say that I think the likelihood is very high that it is.

the way he says this also implies that he asked for permission after he made the video but hadn't published it yet. which is also blatantly false.

again trying to waltz off responsibility on nick, saying he was much more interested in production and implying that nick did all the writing .

“nick and I had both grown up poor so when I lost my job in 2021 (approx.) we of course were desperate and turned to producing videos even quicker and plagiarising the fuck out of all of them! but we can't help it we were both poor as kids!” fuck off, you weren't poor when plagiarising every-fucking-thing, this was in “the second year of COVID”. obviously if they really did grow up poor that sucks, and that's why we should eat the rich and redistribute their money. not plagiarise people who partly are poor or not financially cushy and manipulate thousands of people into believing you are the only queer creator.

also milking his mom's cancer. if you were really that worried about your financial situation, one would think that you would get an actual job for security and not put everything into your youtube career that is unstable, especially considering you've already done a lot of plagiarism and have no intention of stopping. “oh I plagiarised because my mom had cancer QAQ” that is so digusting to use a person's medical condition like that.

“i have memory issues because of a head injury i suffered as a child and that's why I plagiarise badly. see, I copy pasted the text with the intention to rephrase it later but forgot.” that would still be fucking plagiarism if he'd done that, also, if he's so aware of his memory issues and how they lead to him plagiarising, why didn't he try to work around that? leave himself notes? or tell nick to remind him to integrate actual proper credit and citations before uploading a video? mark the plagiarised stuff in the document with like highlighter or so when you're pasting it in?? oh but he didn't do all of that because he has ADHD. now, ADHD can be debilitating, but he says it's recently diagnosed so it must not have caused a lot of problems for him so far, so it's probably not severe and even if it is, it doesn't excuse him not crediting people properly. stop fucking hiding behind things ‘you can’t change' because if you truly can't you probably shouldn't be doing this in the first place.

“my mom really wanted me to make a movie with her life insurance but that wasn't paid out so I decided to crowdfund it. i planned to underpay the actors so hard it was under union wages. we got more money than we were expecting and upgraded to wanting to film a feature (final girl) but i didn't want to start working on it until the campaign was over for some reason that totally isn't me just wanting to exploit people for money!”

I'm not gonna go into the Telos stuff but he tries to explain it by claiming it was very unorganised and that's why they constantly ran into issues and that's why nothing ever got done and they were JUST about to start doing stuff when the Hbomberguy video released. You know what, I can believe it, although I am very doubtful considering all James ever does is lie. Idk. 

once again trying to excuse his plagiarism with needing to pay two rents and thus needing to make more videos for more sponsors and not having the time to not plagiarise like please. i don't believe that they were in that dire need of money and if they were - just get a fucking stable job and put youtube on the backburner. 

also once again trying to make it all about him by once again talking about his suicide attempt and death threats. like. no one should suffer through that kind of mental anguish but honestly I cannot bring myself to feel sympathy for this man. and i see this as an attempt to gather pity points.

“nick worked very hard on these videos other three years and it's unfair to [them] (james says that they're non-binary but doesn't indicate their pronouns anywhere? and in the beginning he uses they/them but later only he/him so idk what their pronouns are but it seems like they/them is at least part of their pronouns so i'm just going to use that) that they all got taken down” well y'all shouldn't have fucking plagiarised then. let this be a lesson maybe and don't fucking show your face on youtube again!

he is fucking relaunching his channel. like james. this isn't something you come back from. no one will ever be able to trust you ever again and you don't deserve an audience. he claims all the revenue will go to Hbomberguy's fund but we have no way to verify this. we have no way to know just how much he makes and how much of that is actually going to the fund. i don't trust him with any money. which is why i watched a reupload rather than the original. he's also releasing a new video he claims is entirely by him. like?????? don't???????

he also might not relaunch his existing patreon but he's still making a new one.

he claims he will “work his ass off” to make non-plagiarised videos. like that isn't “working your ass off” that's the bare fucking minimum. I really want to trust him. and I want to believe he'll actually try to do better. and maybe he will. and i believe in second chances, even for someone as despicable as him. but throughout this video he has continuously tried to play down what he did. tried to make excuses for everything. and that's why i am not going to give him a second chance. if he can't even admit what he did i don't trust him to not do it again. and i also just plainly don't want to endorse a person making such arguments.

also, he plugs his fucking new patreon right after this.

“this video is not about me promoting myself. it's about me apologising.” the only fucking person you actually ‘apologised’ to is Jessie Gender. 

James Somerton: makes a billion fucking excuses. Also James Somerton: “These are not excuses. There is no excuse for what I did.”

this entire video was just a publicity stunt. he tries to humanise himself and repair his image. this is just a tool to be able to continue on and continue making money.

he also still claims the disney video was based on the Celluloid Closet and he credited the author and ignores that this wasn't the only author he fucking plagiarised in that video. he is trying to reduce his plagiarsm to incorrect crediting and mistakes and that is disgusting.

the least he could have done was mention by name out loud every author he plagiarised and what work he plagiarised. not just say “uuuh i'm sorry to everyone I plagiarised QAQ”

[leidensygdom]

Just a bit of a personal thought, but I have grown to deeply dislike how social media, with its' competitive algorithm and need to have a perfect performance, is often giving people a really wrong idea of what is it actually to do art.

Most times, artists are rewarded by posting only their best work: A badly performing post in places like Instagram may affect how well your next post performs. It also prefers you to post finished pictures, very presentable sketches, that kind of stuff. Which is rarely the bulk of an artists' work. Even speedpaints have been chewed down into palatable videos barely reaching 15 seconds. Tiktok and Instagram reels prefer extremely short videos, and speedpaints are mostly just few (sparkles) aesthetic (sparkles) shots of minuscule parts of the process.

And all of that, I've found, gives people this really weird image of what is art actually like. A lot of starting artists grow to make idols out of bigger ones, thinking that these people can only create perfect pieces effortlessly, but that's not how it works. Very far from that. It's mostly that artists that keep active social media and have grown to know the game, know that showing the rough parts of art is not what gets you favoured by the algorithm.

I've been thinking about this ever since I saw a video on twitter of a fairly long speedpaint for what you usually see in social media, I think 4 minutes long, where the person redrew portions of the sketch up to five times. And a lot of people mentioned it was enlightening to see the struggle, to see that even a competent artist sometimes will struggle doing a little phone cord for an hour.

I think that's something I have kind of experienced, too. I'm not a big artist, but a lot of people have mentioned they find me intimidating still, up until they know me on Discord or something and realize I'm just a goof like any other. Up until I mention a face refused to work for 2 hours and I gave up, or how I randomly keep learning new basic functionalities in my drawing software of choice. And I think that's crucial to share too: Art is not a linear road! It isn't a smooth trip! You'll fail again and again and sometimes will end up going back to a previous point, then take another path. Sometimes you render a whole drawing and decide it looks bad so you start over. Sometimes you realize the lines came out wonky as hell and end up redoing it. Sometimes you gave a character 6 fingers or forgot people have eyebrows. It happens! And it's part of what making art is!

I mentioned this on Twitter- I rarely have visible proof of these struggles, but for an Artfight drawing (where I am trying to be speedy), I struggled with a cloak. For long. I made a thumbnail, I made a sketch, realized the cloak didn't work out, so I redrew it over and over again. I deleted most of the discarded sketches, but here's a few of the things that survived.

And like, I'm tired of not talking about this! I'm sad that people think they're failing because their art process isn't as smooth as it could be! So, yeah: I guess rant over, but I just have been thinking about this a bunch lately. If you'd like, do please feel free to reblog or share in replies any similar situations, struggles and flops. I think it could help people to realize how this is actually just a natural part of the process.

[batboyblog]

Interesting thing to consider regarding our situation from Magdi Jacobs. She’s been fairly levelheaded so far about all this. The Pandemic really did change us all and how we perceive things.

The constant stressful vigilance we all needed during the pandemic is still in effect from that era, and that’s why there’s such a disconnect between what we see and feel as true:

https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1812531377184653581?s=46&t=9ilK5pqP73XDblTtTbb4Qg

I don't disagree with her, and I know for a fact she also agrees with what I have to say here:

Covid is part of it, maybe it is its own thing, maybe it super charged something that had been happening in slow-mo before

but I think algorithmic social media is breaking all our brains and Covid locked SO many of us inside with it for a year and a half or so where our only "human" contact was through social media and that was NOT helpful

There's lots of studies about social media and anxiety and depression, we know algorithms intentionally put stories/posts that upset you into your feed, we know that social media causes negative polarization.

speaking just of my own experience on twitter over the last two weeks it really challenges your sense of reality, twitter very quickly forms a group think about a current event and it becomes overwhelming, also it destroys any sense of time and prospective, so nothing is allowed to just be bad it has to be THE WORST THING EVER! and from the debate and now Trump's fist pump after getting shot at everything is NOW! the election is not 4 months away with all the events that will take over the news, people are voting just this second and only based on this news story rn! AAHHHH!!! !

by its short form nature twitter makes it feel as if people are having a conversation with you, but your ability to reply and question their statements is limited and I think that makes for extreme anxiety if the group think challenges your understanding of events/reality. So Joe Biden had a bad debate night, sounded bad, looked bad, he was a sick, jet lagged, overworked, old man and looked and sounded like all of that. Oh well, but the group think quickly shifted to "this is the worst thing ever, he clearly has dementia!" and you were bombarded by that over and over, in more and more shrill and condescending tones. And it became very stress inducing because people were seeing something you didn't see and insisting "don't believe your eyes and ears! believe my hot takes!" and you felt like you were losing your mind.

This is one current event but this happens on social media all the time, twitter is bad, TikTok is worse.

I also think for "younger" (under 40?) people raised on reality TV, and more so instagram, Facebook, now TikTok picture and video based social media there's a, life as reality TV show quality, an unspoken performance and need to make our lives seem perfect for an unseen (and not real) audience, and also to be seen as having the right views, but living in quick sand where liking or using anything could become a problem at any point and having to keep up endlessly. I also think this is intensely anxiety producing and also just debilitating, I don't think you can DO anything good in the world with that mindset

final thought: I've said for awhile I think why you see so many people declaring the economy is bad, regularly saying its historically, Great Depression levels bad, when it is in fact really good, as near to full employment as we've ever had lots of great economic indicators is left over Covid trauma.

We all went through a scary, sad, upsetting time in our lives. But because we ALL did if nothing happened to you particularly, you didn't get hospitalized, don't have long Covid, no one you're close with died and you couldn't be there for them, it might feel like "nothing" happened. So people are reaching for a "logical" reason for that edgy, sad, nervous, upset, unhappy feeling they can't get rid of. Normally that comes from economic anxiety, fear of not having enough money, or losing a job etc. So many people are reporting that they think the national economy is terrible while saying they think they themselves are doing well, that their local or state economy (that they see an interact with) is doing good, while the nation is doing bad, somehow. People are spending like they're doing well as well, never had it so good, never felt so bad.

I suspect its because we're all still dealing with Covid feelings, and thanks to social media, the death of common spaces, political radicalization, we never really came together and drew a line under Covid, it just kinda sputtered out and we slowly went back to our lives like nothing happened.

[inaconstantstateofchange]

bg3 modern!au idea where halsin is a conservationist, who mentions kind of despairingly to a younger colleague at a conference the way he's having such a hard time with outreach to get folks in his community aware of the wildlife around them and how important it is. the colleague makes an offhand reference to how tiktok is the way people seem to get connected to that sort of thing most nowadays, although hell if they have the patience to figure out the app, and wanders off to catch up with someone else. they will not realize until later (far, far later) the ramifications of this statement.

halsin is rather quiet for the rest of the event, makes his goodbyes, and then returns home to painstakingly research just how "tiktok" works, with the grim determination of a fighter entering the ring. if this is what it takes to raise awareness, then this is what he'll do. the cause is more than worth it.

the first roadblock he runs into makes him worry the venture will be over before its even started. the first few webpages he finds tell him patronizingly that his phone is too old to work for 'content creation'. and okay, so it's scuffed, and dented, and has maybe taken one or two tumbles into a mud puddle, but it ought to be more than serviceable! he goes outside and finds a patch of wildflowers, pulling up the camera function and shooting a shaky video. he returns to his kitchen table, squinting down at the results. he can see all of the distinguishing features of the plant that would allow him to recognize it in the wild, which means it's good enough to do its job. with a new resolve - that his family would have wryly labeled as stubbornness - he focuses his research efforts until he finally finds a webpage that will tell him how to make the app work with his phone.

when at last it starts up in a blare of sound and over-saturated colors, he grimaces, but presses on. it asks him to set up a username, and he types in his first name. the little circle spins for a moment, then tells him it's taken. he frowns, then adds a random number. 2. it spins again, same response. he frowns harder, then adds another. 6. it spins, spins, spins, then — welcome, new user @.halsin26! upload your first video to start using tiktok!

he decides not to overthink it. it'll either work out or it won't. he looks out the window, and judges there's still just enough light out. he returns to the little patch of wildflowers, and gives it a thumbs up. he starts a recording directly in the app, making note of the 60-second time limit with a grimace. to make the most of the time he has, he doesn't bother with an introduction, just kneels down next to the cluster of plants, careful not to compress the ground too close to their root system, and moves his hand just behind the flowering portion to visually distinguish it, and act as a scale reference. he keeps his voice low, since he doesn't want to overshadow the content itself, and quickly lays out where folks could run into this plant, its importance to its local ecosystem, and ways they could help its conservation. the most important things the average person can do, he states passionately as the timer begins its final warning, is to document the locations where they find said plants, so that the areas can be marked for oversight and protection.

he doesn't bother to look back over the video before he posts it. he knows what he said, after all. he stretches his arms up above his head, then massages the back of his neck where the muscles are growing stiff. as he heads back inside to start dinner for himself, he tosses the phone into a basket on the counter and forgets about it.

the video languishes in the algorithm for the evening, until a random user gets distracted from scrolling away from the potato-quality wildflower video someone's grandma uploaded and chokes on their spit as forearms that very clearly do not belong to anyone's grandmother enter the frame, gently cupping the air around the flower.

god i wish that were me, they type before they can stop themself. debating whether to bother hitting send, they choke again as an absolutely unfair voice begins to narrate the ecological importance of this particular plant. the voice is smooth and deep, just above a murmur with a pleasant backing rumble. they have never given a moment's thought to plants in their entire life, but all of a sudden they are invested. they don't even notice when their thumb hits 'send' on their comment, too busy swiping over to the profile to see if there are any other videos. it's empty of literally everything, default user icon, only-barely-not-randomly-generated username, only one video posted earlier that day. they go back to the video and copy the link to send to their friends, needing someone - anyone - else to understand the experience they just had.

a few more interactions like that, and the algorithm takes notice. it bumps the video to a few more users outside of the current sphere, and those ones like it too. more importantly, they are very likely to share the video with others, increasing the engagement far beyond anything it had right to expect.

by two days later, when halsin remembers to actually check the thing, it is sitting at a comfortable 2500 likes, and there is a whole fleet of comments waiting for him to review. some of them - many of them, actually - don't seem that relevant at all, and he frowns, but then he sees a few that actually seem interested in more information on the plant he'd described, asking questions about how wide its range is, if it could be found in this or that coloration, etc. these he responds to swiftly, then grimaces as he runs up against a 'character limit'? who ever heard of such a foolish thing. after a moment of glaring down at his phone, he sees that it will allow him to answer by video, and does so, stepping onto his porch and zooming in on the plants. (this blurs them into barely discernible blobs of pixels, but he does not notice.)

still others are curious about what other plants and wildlife he might be able to share about, and he leaves short comments under each letting them know that he will plan to upload some more videos soon, if there is an interest. one user has left a comment that he almost files into his mental "ignore" category, but goes back to reread at the last moment.

not convinced this isn't one of those 'booktok bait' things again but i stg there's a big ass patch of those fuckers behind a parking lot somewhere around here?

halsin responds to this one with a video too. now that he's getting the hang of it, it's actually a bit more convenient than having to type everything out. he thanks the commenter for sharing, then asks if they might be willing to do him a favor sometime – only if it wasn't any trouble, of course! – and grab a video or two of the area they referenced, and share it with him — or their local wildlife foundation, at least.

a few days later, he opens the app to check in to find that he's been tagged in a video by some user. bemused, he clicks on the popup, and it takes him to a slightly shaky but pristine quality video of an empty lot filled with tall grass. the person filming moves a bit closer, then zooms in, and halsin spots multiple cluster of that recognizable wildflowers, before the video ends and restarts. there's no narration to this one, only a barely audible music wheel spinning in the corner. the caption on the video says, @.halsin26 just in case you're not actually some weird account for a fetish i haven't heard of before, here's some of those plants you mentioned looking for.

[valyrfia]

I mean this the nicest way possible but have you considered the fact that you just .. hate RPF? Wich is fine, like you said it's a gray area. It's not everyone's cup of tea, actually! It's not even mine because I actually came across those trailers you said! And I instantly went "ew wtf" and I clicked not interested, and then I another showed up, and clicked not interested, and then the algorithm went ok got it, and it's been a while thankfully, that hasn't showed up. So, what I mean is, there is content in the internet that is weird, that's for sure, but there's like... Ways to avoid it? And the way that this has been a persistent subject in your blog in such a deep way makes me think that you suffer it more than anyone, wich is fine but just, don't look at it anymore? I don't know what to say honestly because, again no to be rude but youre making the MOST out of it. And it's like you're treating fandom culture like this deep dark secret when its as public as it can be and I promise you the most a person can do is feel weirded out and mute that content, and hope it doesn't show up.! But for example, I hate povs content, and that has to be the most persistent content I've seen so far on F1, full of "you're the wife/girl/sister" blah blah and I'm a lesbian, I've clicked not interested so many times I lost count and IT KEPT showing up (until i figured muting y/n, driver x reader helps) so if it keeps you more calm there are ways to avoid content you dont like!

I get where you’re going with this but also, nah. I’ve always loved RPF and will keep consuming it whenever I can. I just make a big stink out of seeing it outside of tumblr and ao3 because of algorithms and the way I was taught to interact with RPF about fifteen years ago in which….these things have to stay within their intended circles at all costs. This is back when fandom content was not cool and mainstream and unless you kept your fandom life and your actual life very separate you get bullied to hell for it. Now, I often feel like the pendulum has swung a little too far the other way and there’s such a massive influx of new people because fandom culture is trendy that fandom etiquette is starting to collapse. The treatment of RPF being one of them.

RPF differs from POV content in two ways. The first is that POV content is a little more accepted than RPF in the general consciousness, usually because it’s het but also because it’s very obvious this is a self insert fantasy which while I imagine is awkward for drivers to see, can be easily laughed off as being so obviously just a fantasy. RPF on the other hand builds off of pre-existing relationships and lore and is usually slash, which already introduces an awkward element (and you can say the men shouldn’t have toxic masculinity all you like, it’s not just them that’s the issue it’s everyone who perceives them and the content), also it’s more difficult because people DO talk about these pairings platonically. In order to not experience Lestappen on my tiktok FYP, I can’t interact with any video that mentions those two in the same breath ever because the algorithm will eventually push me ship content even if I don’t want to see it and I click not interested. This happens over and over again.

I love RPF which am just on super high alert about RPF safe spaces being breached because I know from lived experience that it doesn’t bode well. This is also just personally not the way I was taught to interact with fandom, and again I’ve seen enough shit in my time to understand why that etiquette had to be enforced.

[jeonscatalyst]

Hi I'm new army for about 2months now.

I love all bts members I just can't choose betwn them.

About a week before Are you sure? Aired I got into jikook. I got my friend to subscribe me to her disney+ account just so I can watch it downloaded weverse, downloaded an app to watch run BTS, ITS and BV. I knew of them bt never listened to their songs, I missed out on so much I'm really mad at myself for that coz I didn't get to see jikook develop to where they are now, didn't get to witness this beautiful relationship. Can you perhaps recommend me jikook blogs, sorry English is not my first language, can you tell me why there is not so popular jikook accounts on yt and insta bt there is teakook I was just wondering. I got tumbler and x just for jikook. I'm not so good with social media bt I got all that just to get to know more about jikook and bts. I really like your blog very helpfull and sorry for this bt how do I make that I don't get teakook blog on tumbler I read something now I get alot of it. Sorry for if it's inconvenience for you

Hey anon, welcome to the fandom. I hope you’ve enjoyed it here so far. I think it’s ok that you only recently found BTS and Jikook. I think you find them when you need them the most so don’t worry too much about parts of their story you didn’t get to witness in real time cuz you can always catch up plus they still have a future to make more beautiful moments that you hopefully will be able to witness in real time.

I would recommend you check out @stormblessed95 blog as a baby ARMY and jikook lover. Her blog has alot of information that will help you know not only Jikook but BTS better. There are other amazing blogs on here like @akookminsupporter @nightswithkookmin @jiminieloved @kanmom51 all these blogs are great imo as they have alot of detailed posts about Jikook as well as links to watch real content (some of them).

I wouldn’t know too much about Youtube because ever since I left my baby army era many years ago I rarely ever go to youtube looking to watch analysis videos or edits of any ship. So if you are looking for jikook youtubers I unfortunately don’t have any to recommend but I would appreciate it if some people can leave some suggestions in the replies :) I think you would most likely find more popular or bigger taekook youtube accounts because the number of taekook shippers are way more than the number of Jikook shippers imo so on almost every single platform you fall on you are sure to be swarmed with them. Unfortunately when you start watching or consuming some taekook content and interacting with them like leaving comments or likes, or searching them, the algorithm starts pushing more of them them your way so you can curate your timeline and block certain keywords to avoid getting more of taekook content. Everytime you come accross any content you don’t want to see you can just block or click on “not interested” and eventually you will stop getting them. Also avoid liking, commenting or searching for them if you do because doing that tells the algorithm that you like seeing them. You can do the same thing for tumblr. You can block any taekook blogs you don’t want to see or just click on “not interested”. Once you do this enough you stop seeing them. There are so many other amazing Jikook blogs on here (I unfortunately can’t list them all) but I also really love @hon3ymo0n @mimikoolover @causesciencethatswhy @bangtannism @goldenhickeysandramen @humanuser0613 @jm118jm @roo-bastmoon i’m missing so many amazing blogs I follow and constantly interact with but these are the few I could think of, off the top of my head. You can also follow member focused accounts to get to know each member better. Avoid solos though, avoid them like a plague and the way to tell someone is a solo is by paying attention to how they talk about other members.

Hope I could be of help anon and don’t worry it wasn’t an inconvenience at all. You can dm me if you need more help💜

[am3mb3r123]

hi yes i’m watching the Bad Batch arc of season 7 for the millionth time so here are this rewatch’s thoughts for all four episodes:

Marshall Commander Cody, highest ranked clone in the GAR: “let’s just wait until we’re in enemy airspace to debrief this highly important mission”

watching TBB inflict damage is always so much cooler than reading it, thanks aphantasia

wat tambor can suck a dick

Rex having both his greatest hope and worst fear confirmed is fucking *chefs kiss*

everytime they zoom in on Hunter it’s like a bad video game cut scene and i love it

poor Rex, Anakin puts him through so much

i will never get over Crosshair using Tech’s shoulder as a stabilization

god i wish TBB tv show showed more of Hunter giving incredibly specific orders in increasingly vague numbers

did i mention wat tambor can suck a dick?

yah know what? i’ll say it. Cross deserved that punch from Rex

TBB theme behind Anakin trying to brace Rex for Echo not being there?? kill me now

“Yeah, it’s a lift”

“His mind is ours” STFU TAMBOR

THE IMPLICATIONS THAT ECHO HAS BEEN RELIVING THE CITADEL FOR what TWO YEARS HELP

Anakin sees Echo back from the dead and doesn’t bat a fucking eye he’s seen so much since the start of this war

Wrecker blowing up Echo’s chamber so they can’t use it again warms my heart look at how much Wrecker cares!! (excuse me while i refrain from my full emotionally intelligent Wrecker rant)

I FORGOT ECHO JUMPED ON THE KEERADECK BY HIMSELF MINUTES AFTER WAKING UP FROM A MEDICAL COMA

so much time is devoted to the battle between the techo union and the TBB/Rex and Anakin/the Poltechs and i genuinely just want so much more of it

saying “hopefully it’s gonna be just like old times” to a man who’s been kept as a science experiment for two(?) years is insane

the narrator will not let us forget that Echo’s an ARC Trooper and i’m so grateful for it

whoever decided to give Echo a scomp arm i am kissing you on the mouth

“to be blunt” Tech you’ve never not been blunt in your entire life

has no one informed Admiral Trench that his “algorithm” has been compromised!?

Windu trying the “can we not?” method with the battle droids is so funny to me

“if it makes you feel better, it isn’t my plan” Anakin you little shit

unrelated but since when is the entire back of Jesse’s helmet blue??

Anakin wasn’t super justified in cutting off half of Admiral Trench’s limbs and then killing him, but who boy i love watching him go from Jedi to Jedi-adjacent to Sith

god i love Wrecker, if you’ve made it this far and have Wrecker-centric fics to recommend let me know

and, finally, love seeing TBB give a clean salute to Rex and knowing that they’re only doing it bc of Echo lmao

[tyrantisterror]

So twitter has been assaulting my eyes with an "AI Generated Stop Motion Lord of the Rings video" for the past two days and, like, it's stirred up some FEELINGS and I need to process them by way of a fucking tumblr post.

'Cause, like, I've made stop motion movies.

Were they good stop motion movies? No, not particularly. They were probably as good as you could reasonably expect of something a high schooler made for an assignment, or a college student made in their spare time during the summer, with a budget of "whatever I was able to spare over a period of several months." They're a far cry from the works that inspired me - not equal to the works of Henry Selick or Ray Harryhausen, that's for sure.

I say this not for my usual reasons of knee-jerk self deprecation, but to emphasize that I understand how people feel when their art isn't as good as the art that inspired them, when it fails to match that lofty image you have in your head. I get it, man, I get it, it hurts, and it's hard to overcome that "I'll never be good as [insert artists who inspired you and probably have at least a 20 year headstart on getting good at the art form you've chosen]" pain.

But, like, man, the act of actually creating art is so satisfying. I know that we're on the "creating art is pain, shut your whore mouth toad I will continue scrolling tumblr instead of writing" website, but for all the agony involved in creation, it is fun, I swear it's so goddamn fun and enriching!

Putting together those sets, designing and building those puppets, sweating in a makeshift studio in my dad's garage from painstakingly moving those little puppets just a tiny bit to take a photo over and over again... it was work, yes, but god it was so good. There's this tactile sensation of creation you get from it, because you physically assemble everything that goes in front of the camera, and you physically move it and take the shots, and when the movie comes together you see how each and every bit of your labor gave LIFE to what was lifeless.

And it holds true for all other forms of art. The satisfaction I get from writing it different from the satisfaction I get from drawing, which is different than the satisfaction I get from acting, and so on and so on - but they all share that element that they are MINE, they are something I brought into the world and no one else did, and without me they would not be here. They are reflections, extensions, and creations of ME, and god there's no feeling better than looking at something you've labored hours to make and thinking, "I did this. This only exists because of me."

You rob yourself of that feeling if you let some algorithm do it for you. And maybe some people are ok with that tradeoff, but I can't help but view it as tremendously sad. Those movies I made may not be perfect, my books may be mediocre, my singing off key, my drawings limited, but goddammit, they're mine, and everyone deserves to feel the pride of making something that's theirs and theirs alone.

[arachnixe]

To Know You Is To Love You

"Astonishing! Where you come from, they really let humans pilot your own mechs? Just, what, with your hands? Operating buttons and levers like a carnival ride?"

They crowd me, far more curious than I ever expected a bunch of human-shaped machines could be.

"Yeah?" I answer, confusion apparent in my voice. "Why? What do you do, just plug a cable in?"

As one, the mechanisms in their faces shift and slide into configurations I'm learning to associate with amusement. They suddenly seem eager to show me every port on their bodies in a way that feels uncomfortably voyeuristic to watch. They may be machines, but…

It's hard for a pilot to not see the life in a machine when our lives depend on being completely in tune with our own.

I don't know whether to envy Nixie or feel sorry for it that it doesn't get to have its own version of this conversation with the other mechs resting on standby. It can only communicate externally in bursts of radio waves, and I'm not authorized to share its decryption key.

One of the pilot units speaking to me demonstrates how it slots neatly into its counterpart's docking cradle. It rattles off a litany of specs on data throughput, latency, handshaking protocols. My familiarity with Nixie's specs helps me translate the numbers effortlessly. It's an astonishing rate of data, capable of bidirectional real-time exchange of sensor readings and near-zero delay between decision and action. No wonder they're so much faster than us on the battlefield.

I have instrument panels and HUD messages from Nixie to read. I've got controls to manipulate, external video feeds to scan, and mental calculations to perform—it's all instinct now, drilled into me—and I can acknowledge how clumsy that makes us compared to them.

"Together we act as one" the pilot says, "with negligible barrier between our sensory and computational arrays."

I put a hand on my partner's armored leg, and for the first time I feel our acute separation, a gulf as wide as any between steel and flesh. I came here full of pride in what we could do together, with my skills and Nixie's state-of-the-art amphibious design and our ability to work as a unit, but now… It's nothing on what these machines have together, isn't it?

I grimace. "It's a shame I'll don't know what it's like to connect like that." So intimate. My heart aches for it. "I envy you," I admit aloud.

The room is silent. The others go still, perhaps communicating via silent side-channels.

"Would you like to?"

How could I refuse?

---

The first surgery is the most delicate. Their tech is incredibly advanced in some ways compared to ours, but even so, brain implants always carry some risk.

A modest computer and a radio, plugged right into my head. It feels frightening and alien at first. Metal at the base of my skull and a gaping hole in the back of my mind. I worry about what kind of mistake I made, letting them operate on me.

Then I recite my memorized key into the void in my mind, and it unfurls its petals. It blossoms into language. An impossible torrent of language that overwhelms me at first until, seemingly in response to my distress, it slows to a manageable trickle.

> NXE-110001 attempting send rate negotiation↵ > establishing link↵ > attempt: 2↵ █

I think an acknowledgement back into that link. Then, after a moment's consideration, I follow it up with a few repetitions of the test pattern described in our manual so that Nixie can calibrate itself with my own send speed.

> NXE-110001 link established↵ > hello pilot↵ █

We spend some time experimenting with the limitations of the link. As much as we're both used to communicating with each other using language, it rapidly becomes clear that it is the slowest information protocol we have.

It takes time for my mind and Nixie's algorithms to learn how to parse each other's nonverbal signals, but every day we get a little bit better—and a little faster—sending thought-fragments, images, and sensory data over the link until it's unconscious instinct for me. The more in-tune with each other that we get, the more effective we are, cooperating on a deeper level than I've ever dreamed before. The mechanical pilots encourage me as if taking personal pride in our ability to catch up with them in speed.

But I'm still not fast enough. Nixie is still throttling its communication speed for me to keep up. While I don't think "frustration" is an emotion it experiences, I know its algorithms are designed to optimize, and right now, it's my hardware that's the bottleneck.

Maybe my new friends can cure that too.

With their support, we plan several more surgeries: hardware upgrade for my skull integration point to add a physical port for higher data throughput, additional ports in my spine to parallelize transfer, a secondary computer in my lower back to offload additional processing.

The physical recovery for each surgery is tedious and exhausting, but in contrast I feel only exhilaration during the time spent learning our new capabilities after each upgrade.

The presence of the secondary computer is the strangest sensation of all, by far. There is the initial novelty of sending it commands to perform calculations I could never have done on my own. (The cube root of 110001? Approximately 47.9143438.) But with time and familiarity it loses that feeling of otherness, becoming just my "other brain."

And then with more time, it loses even that feeling of otherness. My mind just has two halves, each more suited to some subset of the mental processing I must do.

My friends and I design and fit a custom docking cradle for me into Nixie, and the day it no longer has to throttle its communications with me is the happiest of my life.

The term "pilot" feels ill-fitting now. Plugging into Nixie is just joining with my other half. When we connect, we become one in almost the same way as the flesh and machine halves of my brain do. Dives that once felt like operating a submarine now feel like swimming in the waters of our own home, no different than operating my own body.

I considered us a team before, but we're so much more now, easily on par with my friends and their partners.

Well, now they're showing off all the fascinating weaponry and sensor arrays built in to their own bodies, and I find I still have room for envy.

I wonder how many more upgrades they might be willing to offer?

[smilestrawbunny]

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, I am such a funny person to come to about this- I never let being a game dev stop me from interacting with works I like, haha! Maybe that’s just because I’m a smaller creator, though. Just recently I posted death note fan art, I’m currently working up the courage to post about fandom related ocs, and I’m hosting a game jam encouraging fan works that might be considered “cringy.”

The people who like you and your work will still be there regardless. You can count on that as a fact! So why should you stop yourself from having fun?

Life is far too short to be worried about your public image to such a high degree. Like you said, these are already things that you actively do to express yourself and enjoy! So if it gives you any semblance of comfort, I’ll start doing even more “unprofessional” things to help you out there <3 /pos

[firespirited]

thought I might add a little to a question unanswered by the video essay: the why?

not as an excuse, not a full explanation either because there's still the matter of the Telos money.

but why does a man live, breath and eat for his channel/career without the passion for researching and learning?

I can tell you that he truly *did* devote his entire time and energy to producing videos and engaging with the commentariat as a full time job, though if the video scripts were copy paste. He probably feels like he's devoted his entire soul for years into this project and the copy paste was "just" to keep up with the youtube once a week upload demands.

IMHO, what we have is a bloke with crippling anxiety, loneliness and body dysmorphia with a pathological fear of rejection who attempted to build an online queer community that wouldn't ever let him down. As far i can can tell he barely left the house, didn't date and i started to wonder if he really had moved when he wasn't visiting any of Toronto's very gay friendly places or even some of the museums and libraries, wasn't making any local connexions even when people reached out. Instead, he spent his weekends chatting online (often on livestream) about gay media, business, youtube and film making.

I think he could have built that safe haven if he'd kept the day job, produced a fully credited video once a month which was in the format of let's watch this documentary, let's read this book, let's dive into a topic and read the various articles followed by his livestream chats. There is clearly an audience eager for it.

and that's where it gets uncomfortable, right? the lines blur between shyness + not wanting to be hurt vs not collaborating and not being part of other established groups. Canada not only has multiple gay filmmaking scenes, advocacy groups and even a whole bunch of Canadian queer youtubers. They don't have to all get along, because there's more than just the Canada based breadtube, there are a lot of smaller channels that'd love the opportunity to network.

Anyway, it was during a live that i bought up some local Canadian networking opportunity, he backed off quite hard in a way that felt like a little bit more than anxiety about the fierce competition that goes on for such stuff. It felt vaguely like Little Britain's "The Only Gay in the Village" but mostly I was reminded of folks in my life who decided to forge their own paths in charity work and activism, specifically the very dodgy intersection between missionary work and charity and charities that are about the joy of bringing fish to the hungry instead of helping the locals who know how to fish get the new motor for their boat. It's actually a really complex and nuanced conversation where sometimes the least colonialist choice is to hold your nose and work with the local catholic church - yeah I know, that level of complicated, here's some reading before I start on the importance of translating books to creoles being a better investment than teaching english to match an english curriculum and how relief work is often predatory business opportunities and how secularism is a tightrope balancing act and don't get me started.

It is possible to walk and chew gum and listen to music at the same time. We can talk about how plagiarism is bad, how the algorithm rewards it, how this guy is probably getting more ire than the right wing grifters also brought up, why left tube maybe feels a lil intimidating, why people build their own little digital or offline communes, how being an educator and being a thought leader get smooshed together in an attention economy that wants to create influencers with a parasocial engagement with folks that want personal guidance, sometimes stolen valour/plagiarism/fake cancer is for power and clout and sometimes it's a maladaptive response to a desperate loneliness I hope I never fully comprehend.

[blanketforcas]

A guide to real-person shipping and tinhatting

Most of this can be applied to general tinhatting but I will mainly be focusing on RPS and using examples from cockles fandom. This is based on my experience and what I’ve personally come across. Examples I use are merely illustrative and not meant as shade to anyone.

Let’s get some ethics of rps out of the way first

*disclaimer: this is what I would advise, I know opinions on this do vary

Try to keep it off main as much as possible (ie twitter, tiktok). You can’t always escape the algorithm, some stuff does get seen by the actors. Every actor’s comfort level with this is different, but as a general rule let's say tinhatting stays on tumblr or group chats

Try to avoid stating something as truth unless you’re quoting the actors

This goes without saying, but don’t ever mention the ship to the actors and if they bring it up themselves, don’t forget that’s not a free pass to just say whatever

Now, moving on to some pitfalls and tips

Do some basic research

Is this tweet/post reflecting the truth? Do multiple sources confirm this? Is there video? What was the context? What is happening right before and right after this particular moment? Does that change how you think about it?

When you see a picture you haven’t seen before, are you sure it’s not a manip? Use reverse image search and if nothing comes up, try to look up the event using key words to see if you can find the picture. If it’s hard to find and friends can’t help you either, it’s probably a manip. Obviously also look for signs within the picture itself (strange lines/different lighting on one person/missing limbs etc)

Are you projecting?

We all do it! It’s normal, just try to be aware when you’re doing it. Sometimes actors might indeed be similar to you when it comes to [whatever your theory is about], sometimes not at all. Fact remains you’re more likely to run with it when it’s something you do or feel yourself. Try to ask some friends what they would do/how they would react and maybe you’ll find out it’s less common or obvious than you think.

Confirmation bias is one hell of a drug

It’s surprising how easily a pattern can be found if you actively try to find one. Try to keep thinking critically: do I too quickly add something to the list of evidence because I really want my theory to be true? Does it really belong in that pile or could there be another reason why X happened the way it did?

The more effort it requires to make your theory sound plausible, the less likely it is to be true

Does it need a lot of explanation? Are you having to find a lot of excuses when an alternative explanation is presented? Are there inconsistencies in your theory that are difficult to explain away?

These are all red flags and should make you question the validity of your theory.

You as a fan are always going to be far more invested than any of these actors will ever be

Whether it’s about the show they are on or their social media behaviour, you will always care more and inevitably find details that weren’t put there intentionally.

No, the actors aren’t constantly leaving clues about the show you love (“you’re not crazy” tweets aside) in their everyday posts, they are just living their lives and sharing it.

And no, actors aren’t hiding secret and very obscure messages in their posts about how their relationship is real. They will simply quote Casablanca on the other person’s birthday and assume you get the memo

Remember they aren’t as obsessed with us as we are with them

This ties into the previous point about hiding secret messages. It’s a consequence of parasocialising which is something I talk about later in this guide.

Actors may or may not care a lot about us as people/as a fandom, and sometimes they do like to play with us in a general lowkey sense, but they aren’t looking for a “special” group of people who Get It. They aren’t putting in the time and effort to find a way to communicate with us on some secret code level. An example within cockles fandom I’ve seen is the stoplight system (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this was an idea proposed by a fan via text messages that Misha could use red/yellow/green to communicate how loud we could be about cockles – the day after, the official Gish account’s activity was seen as possible confirmation Misha actually adopted the method).

Which leads me to my last point:

Watch out for conspiracy thinking

I know, I know. It’s kind of in the name. Tinhatting implies some sort of conspiracy, but this is a bit too simple when it comes to RPS and especially cockles – where you have two people who make a lot of references themselves and like to have fun with it. There’s different levels of tinhatting one can do, my goal is just to try to make you more aware of some of the red flags and pitfalls that I’ve mentioned throughout this post.

Okay maybe one final point about mental health

You’re more susceptible to falling for some of these things if you’re parasocialising hard. It’s something we are all familiar with because how else did we end up in this dumpster in the first place?

It doesn’t need to be problematic – it’s almost inevitable and comes with being a fan. With tinhatting It’s important to check in with yourself from time to time how much you care about a particular theory and why you find it so important.

More generally when you find yourself spending more and more time in these fandom spaces – ask yourself if there’s something else you’re avoiding or feelings you’re repressing that need to be dealt with. Reach out to friends (those can and do include the people you spend all that time discussing RPS with), try to distance yourself a bit etc. Take a step back if needed.

With all that being said, you can still do whatever you want and make your own judgement. I just hope this can help at least one person to be more cognizant of how they engage with RPS. I know I’ve personally fallen for some of the traps and I learned and still learn along the way.

Yes, this is a little bit silly, it’s a silly subject matter. The reason I care so much and wrote this guide anyway, is not just because I like tinhatting to be believable (cause I do, I can’t deny that) but also because a lot of these critical thinking skills are helpful in for example preventing people from falling for actually dangerous conspiracy theories, cults and cult-like group structures, and toxic relationships.

Now I feel like I ended on such a serious note but I want to emphasise of course the most important part of RPS is to have fun – and this is hopefully just a tiny toolbox for when you want to do more of a deep dive.

Happy rps'ing!

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

i love you even more for supporting palestine. I’ve had to deal with so many Pro-Israel people over the last few days - they (just anyone who supports Israel and the IDF) believe that anyone housing Hamas should die. They deserve to. But when you consider that more than 50+% of the deaths are children, it makes no sense.

I began typing my answer then had to stop because I realized how sad it is that you felt like coming here to say this, and that supporting Palestine isn't the norm :')

It certainly makes no sense, as you said. And it only takes minimal amounts of educating yourself on the topic to realize this is no war, it's genocide. They target hospitals and churches, and aim to erase Palestine's history and culture. There are TONS of proof out there, videos and posts by Gazans about the most vulnerable part of the nation being killed every day. Just today I saw a video of soldiers making fun of a man with Down syndrome. Is he Hamas too? Hell, even if you're on the side of Israel, all you need to see is that one godawful video of them holding down stripped men as captives, stating they're Hamas of course - and because those men appear to be chubbier, Israel supporters laughed at how they're "obviously not dying out of hunger". The thing is, that only means that the men in the video aren't fit enough to be Hamas soldiers but I guess they failed to take that into account. This is just one example of me being absolutely baffled how there are still people on Israel's side, and ones that believe this isn't a genocide. And this is also far from the most gut-wrenching shit i've seen the past few weeks. Most of it I'm seeing on twitter, and i'm glad that at least there the numbers do something (for the algorithm) when you put your shares and likes, and don't just serve as showing the post to your mutuals. But nonetheless, it still helps. It helps. It's proven that sharing posts helps. I sincerely don't understand people who know this but choose not to, for whatever reason it might be.

Thank you for the ask

[ajarofsugarfreestrawberryjam]

todd is on reddit-tok,, it's mostly AITA but sometimes his algorithm will bring him r/nosleep which always makes him really gloomy and want company like he will take anyone even if it's not neil. ("okay todd, you really need to stop watching those kinds of tiktok." and he agrees, but he watches anyway cz it's a guilty pleasure)

neil is absolutely on americacoretok like. Just normal everyday american things. except they arent that normal bec nothing is ever normal in america. he also saves videos of recipes that hes never going to be able to make bec hes absolutely terrible in the kitchen He cannot be trusted with a knife. he is also regularly on cats & dog discourse tiktok on the side of cats AND dogs because equality (he is a cat person that has a dog)

charlie is on everywhere. He is on fashion tiktok, modern family tiktok, hot foreigners dancing to some random foreign song tiktok, gym bro tiktok (he doesn't even jog why is he even watching those), sanrio tiktok, Basically Everything. but most especially, he is on ATTENZIONE PICKPOCKET ATTENZIONE BORSEGGIATRIGI tiktok. he pulled that one on cameron one time and he almost got sued for defamation of character.

knox the type of guy to have a serious face on while watching beetok. He will sit there and watch mr.mrs.beerescue on tiktok as if he was watching a christopher nolan movie. he also comments "me and who" on couple tiktoks and saves some as "date ideas" when he gets a new significant other bec his new gf just dumped him for her best friend after she got an epiphany (he has the "girls turn gay after they date me" syndrome)

meeks does not have tiktok. i saw the hc that he has an old ass phone with broken screen nd shit and he makes it work bec he doesnt wanna buy a new phone bec hes sentimental. he does watch on pitts's phone though and it helps that they have the same type of humor. they follow the hammer kit on tiktok (refer to image below). meeks and pitts also enjoy the occasional celebrity drama ("did you know kristen cheated on robert pattinson" "thee Edward Cullen? no way!")

pitts is on university lunch tiktok which makes him wish he went to yale bec the food at MIT isn't as appetizing. he also watches the not-angry wife who makes scrumptious meals for herself and barely edible food for her husband. he also watches his kdrama on tiktok bec who actually has time to sit thru a 24-episode drama that's an hour long in college?

cameron is also on r/nosleep-tok like that's his shit. during his study breaks or while making snacks he puts on a compilation and just. Listens. to which afterwards he rates it with his criteria: the twist, believability, spookiness, delivery, and idea. so far his favorite is the one where you have to take a blood bath annually on your birthday.