#as annoyed as i get that the time war is against the DALEKS. i do love it so much

[gotyouanyway]

ooooh i love the idea that they all knew the time war was coming. “collective premonition” “felt in our bones” over generations. something something time senses and collective consciousness and drums for heartbeats. delicious

[asexual-doctor]

Season 10

The Three Doctors 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

Two *_* (I'd like to rewatch his episodes but really not looking forward to having to sit through the missing episodes. Maybe I'll buy a couple of the ones that have been animated when I go to England). I remember liking this episode and my opinion hasn't changed much. It's great to have three Doctors together for the first time, even though One just makes a cameo but seeing him so ill really made me sad. Omega is a great villain and it's nice to see the Time Lords. I liked Benton acting like Two's companion and the Brig ... oh my god, he's so obtuse and close-minded and so done with Two, magnificent.

Carnival of Monsters 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑

Not a great episode. The grey fellas were rude and annoying. But we have confirmation that the Doctor is against animal exploitation so I just love him more. Also, he had the Time Lords ban the microscopes by being a nuisance which means he was so annoying that they had no choice but to do what he wanted and that's top-notch characterisation of the Doctor, well done. (And I'm again begging Big Finish to do an Academy era range with both the Doctor and the Master being little shits.) And greatest incoherence here, the Doctor doesn't speak Polari. That's pretty much all that I'll retain from this episode.

Frontier in Space 🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑

I wanted to like this episode because it's Delgado's last appearance and ... I didn't. And I'm a bit mad because I feel his last episode was such a waste! I mean, it had potential. I liked all the political stuff with the big revelation about the Master's bosses. The main trio is on fire: Jo is great and we do get very juicy interactions not only between the Master and Three (the Doctor asking the Master if he's alright when he talks about peace) but also between the Master and Jo which is obviously reminding me of Clara and Missy. But all of this is drowned into coming and going and escaping from one prison to another and it made this episode unnecessarily heavy. Anyway, I'm very sad that my favourite idiot isn't coming back and I'm now gonna go and cry.

Planet of the Daleks 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑

So this episode is supposed to continue where the previous one ended, except that it's not really. And considering how much I disliked Frontier in Space, I'm kinda glad that it's something different. And it was much better! There were much less useless bits, the atmosphere in the jungle was well done, the Spiridions were interesting, although I'd wished we'd learn more about them but I get that it wasn't the point of the episode. The Thals were ok, special mention to the commander that I really liked. And I liked Three's speech at the end about not making war look glamourous. All in all, not a great episode but still enjoyable.

The Green Death 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

It's one of the only episodes of classic Who that made me cry. Not that I'm sad that Jo is leaving (I did warm up to her a bit but she still annoyed me most of the time) but because the Doctor's reaction broke my heart. And it's a good episode (who said that classic Who wasn't political?). It's coherent all along, it's funny: I had forgotten that the Doctor dressing up as a cleaning lady was from there and it really made my day. Mike Yates gets even more developed. All great stuff, really.

[riversofmars]

Love Is The Only Mission - Part 25

“Is this it then?” The Doctor asked, eyeing the guards that stood in a semi-circle around them, weapons drawn. “Your final victory?”

“Over you? Yes. You were always going to lose, Doctor. But to use one of your companions to defeat you, that’s a particular delight,” the Master pointed out with a wide grin. Helen stood a few steps away from him. Her expression was blank, yet strained. Her chest rose with laboured breaths as she recovered from the effort of her actions.

“You’re underestimating her, you bit off more than you can chew,” the Doctor stated defiantly.

“I don’t think so. She may need to work on her stamina at little but the intent was unwavering. Baby steps. Her friends one day… a civilisation next. And then on to the Daleks,” the Master hummed as he crossed the short space to stand beside Helen. He reached out and brushed disheveled strands of hair back.

“You won’t succeed!” Liv snapped, bile rising in her throat for seeing him touch her.

“But my dear, I already have,” the Master laughed and caressed the linguist’s face to antagonise her further.

“Helen will never, she would never do what you want her to do. I don’t care how much control you think you have over here. There are some things she would never do. Genocide being one of them,” the med-tech shouted passionately.

“Now, really, I think I’ve had quite enough of you, Miss Chenka,” the Master gave an exasperated sigh. He dropped his hand and turned to face the Doctor and Liv with a cruel smile. “The Doctor I can take home to Gallifrey. The High Council will reward me for bringing a renegade home. They have been keen to enlist him in the War effort, they would be terribly cross if I didn’t deliver him, but you? Well, I don’t need you, not now that Miss Sinclair seems so perfectly amenable,” he hummed in a low voice that sent a shiver down Liv’s spine. The feeling of threat only worsened when the Doctor attempted to pull her behind himself. She didn’t let him, she could stand her ground and fight her own battles, but the look of malice in the Master’s eyes terrified her. “And I must say, you really do annoy me. Every time I’ve met you, you’ve been nothing but a pain in my backside, so I think it’s about time we put an end to our mutual acquaintance.”

“Master-” The Doctor started but the medical director wasn’t listening.

“Restrain the Doctor,” he barked at his guards and two men lunged forward, grabbing hold of the Doctor.

“No!” The Doctor fought against them, Liv tried to hold on to him but they pulled him away from her, dividing them up. A wave of panic threatened to overtake the med-tech.

“Well then, Miss Chenka…” the Master spoke again, tense with excitement. “I wonder if Miss Sinclair would do the honours…” Liv’s eyes shot to Helen. She felt cold all of a sudden, at the blank look in her eyes and the prospect that yes - if the Master demanded - she would kill her. Maybe this was it, the inevitable conclusion to their adventures. Even when she had laid her heart bare to her, there was no way of knowing if she had ever truly listened at all. The Master had taken that away from them. Helen was well and truly lost and the only thing Liv had left to do was gather her courage and hold her head high.

Suddenly, an alarm blared.

“What is that?” The Master snapped at his security chief.

“Oh, you know, just a little contingency, should things get out of control,” the Doctor smiled and the Master whirled around:

“What have you done?!” He growled.

“Opened all the cells in this complex. I rigged it all up to this little device just in case,” the Doctor revealed as he pulled a remote control from his pocket that he had engaged moments before.

“You interfering imbecile!” The Master shouted, losing his temper and Liv let go a sigh of relief, she knew she could rely on the Doctor.

“Everybody needs a hobby,” he answered smugly. “I don’t know what and who you have incarcerated here to experiment on, but you’re all out of their cages now.”

“Mandrake?” The Master snapped at his security chief who nodded quickly.

“On it,” he answered and taking most of the guards with him, he rushed off.

“Then we bring this to a close so we can deal with other pressing matters,” the Master took a deep breath, regaining his composure and purpose. He fixed his eyes on Liv, as seemingly, he had not forgotten about her.

“Now, Master, don’t do anything hasty. We can find a solution here. Let us go, let us take Helen, deal with your experiments before all your work is forfeit,” the Doctor said, hoping to draw his attention away from his friend.

“I don’t need any of it, so long as I have Miss Sinclair,” the Master gave a dismissive wave.

“And Gallifrey will be happy with that?” The Doctor pressed.

“Gallifrey?” Liv echoed, surprised.

“Supposedly, this is some kind of a weapons program, the High Council’s dirty little secret do deal with the Daleks,” the Doctor explained quickly and Liv gave a sigh and a shake of her head:

“Your people never fail to disappoint…”

“Enough, we are done here,” the Master interrupted and grabbed a stazer from one of the remaining guards. “No-one can help you now, Miss Chenka.” He turned up the dial from stun to lethal. “This is truly the end of the line for you. It hasn’t been pleasant.”

Liv looked away from the Master as the futility of the situation sunk in. It was instinct, more than anything else, but she sought out Helen’s eyes. Even if she knew they wouldn’t shine with affection and comfort for her, she still longed for her to be the last thing she saw. Why not? She was the reason she was here after all. And if Helen was gone, really, truly gone. There was no point in carrying on anyway. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to be put out of her misery. She took a final deep breath and closed her eyes.

A shot rang out.

[plum-pudding-and-honey]

MONTHLY RANGE : Eight & Charley

Storm Warning - 3.5/5 : the plot is not the best thing I've ever seen but it's still a good introduction story for Eight on audio and to be fair it just made me want to drop everything and hop after him. I like Charley's background but I really just can't stand her. I don't hate her, she's interesting and I totally understand that people love her but I've never really warmed up to her. I also have a problem with the "classic" format : 4 episodes of 20-30 minutes which, sure, allows the writers to give the story and the characters more development, but which I find particularly long. I just find it very hard to focus for two hours, unless the story is very compelling

Sword of Orion - 3/5 : (god this is loooong) The atmosphere was interesting, so was Deeva (although I thought her being an android was quite obvious but wtv). The other side characters were all quite boring though and I couldn't bring myself to care about them. The android/human war was also an interesting point, it's a shame it didn't get developed more than that

The Stones of Venice - 1.5/5 : Oh my God do I hate this. Two hours which felt more like six hours of whining and complaining and "Estella, my beloved, forgive me here" and in the end, I'm not even sure whether I want to kill the Duke or myself. Just... zero empathy for this guy and Estella. Pietro was a bit more interesting although fish gondoliers who have evolved to survive the sinking of the city? Really? No. (Not just because evolution doesn't happen over a hundred years. Try a million.) Churchwell was equally annoying (I mean, as a librarian, I'm all for art preservation but have some decency here man) and the cult, well I've got no opinion whatsoever on them, that's how useless they are in all of this. The only thing that kinda made this thing worthwhile was this bit of conversation between the Doctor, Charley and that gondolier guy about the Duke waiting a hundred years for Estella and how Charley points out how long it is waiting for someone to return and how Eight DID wait a hundred years before seeing Fitz again and I'm not okay about this (and this was released shortly after Escape Velocity was published so I'm definitely gonna take this as a Fitz reference fight me on this)

Minuet in Hell - 3/5 : The Doctor being imprisoned and amnesiac for 3/4 of the episode was very looong. I liked the interactions with Gideon Crane but since the viewer already knows which one is the real Doctor, I really didn't see the point of making this last for so long. Also it robbed us of more Eight/Brig time and that's a shame. And those American accents are just horrible, I couldn't understand most of what Dale and the Senator were saying. The vilains and the Psi (psy?) machine were kinda interesting (although they also sounded pretty annoying) but in two hours and a half, they really could have been developed a bit more. Same goes for Becky Lee and her supernatural hunter gig that was way underused. The Brigadier is a huge asset, let's be honest. And the EDAs are canon in the BF universe, so that's that. (yes there was a Fitz reference in The Stones of Venice, I will not shut up)

Invaders from Mars - 2/5 : I love the idea behind this episode : the panic caused by Orson Welles' reading of the War of the Worlds, a false invasion in fact hiding a real invasion. It could have been great. But it's not. First, those accents and voices, again NO. For a medium that relies only on sounds, it's  really a big issue here (I mean how are you supposed to take the alien invaders seriously with those voices???). Mark Gatiss loves the Ice Warriors and we've seen with the Empress of Mars that he can write decent episodes with them so why didn't he use them here? It could have been so creepy (which, for a Halloween episode, would have been neat). Instead he gives us a cheap version of invaders, a nazi guy, Russians and an atomic bomb, and mobsters. And it's too much, it's too confusing, it's too many characters. It's a mess. The Doctor is adorable playing private detective but then he accidentally reveals his plan to the bad guys (I mean...) and the aliens are killed by the Russian guy everybody thought to be dead and his atomic bomb : no, that's bullshit. Also, bury your gays : totally gratuitous and unnecessary (what was even the point?). Yeah, huge disappointment.

The Chimes of Midnight - 6/5 : cHriStmAs wOuLdN't bE cHriStmAs wiThOuT oNe oF mY pLuM puDdiNgS (tfbgvfgtv) Finally something GOOD. Eight is at his best sassfull self, the different parts are well articulated, it's funny and creepy at the same time and the paradox surrounding Charley is well exploited. Robert Shearman even succeeded in making me care about Charley. Edith is touching, even the other characters are, and that ending is really nicely done and coherent. I also really like how Eight is depicted here, especially in his relationship to Charley (and his companions in general). He really cares about her and yet he doesn't tell her the truth, he's been lying to her ever since Storm Warning because he selfishly hopes that if he doesn't speak about it, it's all gonna go away, just like he will do later with Lucie and her auntie Pat and that's Eight in all his glory : he loves his companions but he's got this kind of superiority complex that makes him think he knows better than them and which makes him treat them like shit more often than not (and ok, Charley gets a lot of crap from him). They are all aware of that, as we are, and yet they still love him and we still love him and I don't even know why.

Seasons of Fear - 3.5/5 : The format was interesting, the change of scenery for each episode really helped to not lose interest in the story. I also liked Grayle, he's an interesting villain but the immortality thing could have been handled a bit better in my opinion, especially the losing your loved ones part. I actually liked Charley there and her varied suggestions to get rid of Grayle. The mystery around her thickens and I did not remember that ending! The Nimons were a bit unexpected but ok I guess. But I found the conclusion very disappointing, too easy.

Embrace the Darkness - 4/5 : I love the atmosphere of this one, especially the beginning : the "something touches you in the dark and you realise it's not your friend" trope is classic but the audio only aspect of the thing gives it something more (especially of you listen to it in the dark). Like the previous one, I liked the pace (it didn't feel like this thing would never end which is something worth mentioning). The fact that there aren't too many characters also helps a lot. And I can't help myself to compare it with Sword of Orion : the settings are similar, it's a huis-clos, and they're both written by Nick Briggs. I find Embrace the Darkness much better, the characters are actually likeable (and they all don't die at the end, quite the opposite) and interesting. The Cimmerians were also nicely done and I really liked how different senses are brought into focus here, how the viewer is brought closer to the characters because they can't see. Hearing becomes central then but taste and touch are also prominent (I especially liked the way the Cimmerians share their history with the Doctor and Charley). The Doctor is well-written (I love his "conversations" with Rosum) and this tendency to self pity himself every time he makes a mistake is very Eight (Orbis). 

The Time of the Daleks -  2.5/5 : The first part was good. And then it got so confusing, I actually lost the plot several times because my mind kept drifting away. There are way too many comings and goings through those portals, too many side characters that weren't interesting in the least. Learman's motivations as a villain are ridiculous (she wants to kill Shakespeare to be the only one who remembers him because everyone else is too stupid to understand his works... yeah, right).

Neverland -  4.5/5 : Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead, Zagreus sees you in your bed and eats you when you're sleeping (sorry I had to put it). So … yeah, that was breath-taking. That was an amazing conclusion for Charley's arc, the neverpeople are pretty cool and Romana and Rassillon are a nice little treat. The plot is coherent and the two hours and a half passed very quickly which is always worth mentioning. About Eight and Charley, now. As I said, I'm not a fan of Charley : I find her too perfect (and I just can't stand how she speaks, I know it's kinda shallow but when her voice is the only thing you get out of her, that becomes kind of a big deal) and I really don't ship her with Eight (although I recognise that they might be romantically involved, a lot like Ten and Rose, I simply choose to not see it). That being said, I liked how she stood up to the Doctor at the beginning, how she called him out on his bullshit ("Happy Birthday, Charley! Happy Birthday, he says. Only it isn't my birthday. It isn't my birthday because I'm not supposed to have any more birthdays") and used the TARDIS against him. I also liked her comparison with Peter Pan because, yeah, that's the Doctor, she gets it. I understand why she asked him to shoot her at the end but I don't think she was fair asking him to do it because she knows, everybody knows, that he won't do it. He won't do it for someone he despises, so Charley? Nope. And yeah, her dying was the obvious solution, I get that,  but that's the epitome of everything I don't like about her. Charley Pollard, always making the right decision even if it means sacrificing herself, Charley Pollard always nice and caring and clever and adventurous, and in a way she reminds me of Rose (although Rose was a jerk to Mickey) and I hate Rose. As for the Doctor... Finally he gets the consequences of his actions and yet you can't help but feel sorry for him. Because like Charley said he’s sweet and he truly thinks what he’s doing is good. And that cliff-hanger! I AM BECOME ZAGREUS! YES BABY. In conclusion, it’s a great episode, regardless of my feelings towards Charley

Zagreus -  4/5 : Let's be honest, the first time I listened to it, I hated it with all my guts (and I also fell asleep at some point in the middle), so I wasn't really looking forward to giving it another chance. But I'm glad I did. This time I really took the time to listen to it properly and knowing roughly where this was going, I loved it? I mean ok, this thing is more than three hours (not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me) and it's completely bonkers and WTF but there IS a certain coherence to the thing that I hadn't picked on the first time I listened to it. So, let's start with the obvious : Zagreus/the Doctor/Paul McGann giving us the performance of his life. He's GREAT and if I didn't already love him I would certainly after this. He's creepy and disturbing as Zagreus (he slapped Charley!!) and his voice when he's the Doctor, when he begs Charley to kill him ... yeah, I was dying inside there. By the way, I liked the parallel with Neverland and Charley begging the Doctor to kill her, except that she actually does it. The Brigadier/TARDIS was equally brilliant. I got a lot of the Doctor's Wife vibes here - except that the TARDIS is evil and HATES the companions, and her conversation with the Doctor, her fit of jealousy was brilliantly done. I also loved the bits with Five, Six and Seven (except it's not really them but it actually is) and they were hilarious when they're working together towards the end (Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedle-ego). It was a nice hommage to Alice in Wonderland, coherent until the end (and let's be honest the bit with Schrodinger's cat only it's the Doctor who is in the box? Brilliant. Again.) And as an anniversary episode, it worked for me. I probably didn't get all the references but I picked up a few of them and it was nice to include the BF cast, even if it wasn't in their usual roles.

Overall opinion : This is not as bad as I remembered. I postponed relistening to these for a long time because I remembered it way worse than it actually is (in my defence, I listened to those episode some 8 years ago when my English wasn't so fluent). I still don't like the classic format because most of the episodes feel reaaaaally long and I'm not a fan of Charley. I did like her arc though, it was interesting to  explore the fixed in time events and the consequences of the Doctor kicking the laws of time in the nuts, way before Ten. The resolution of this arc was also brilliant in my opinion with the anti-time and the Time Lords/Rassillon mythology. The quality is fluctuant : the Stones of Venice, Invaders from Mars and the Time of the Daleks being the bottom of the barrel while the Chimes of Midnight, Embrace the Darkness and Neverland/Zagreus are amazing. And Eight changes so much through his life : he's so hopeful and sweet and utterly optimistic, a drastic difference from the Time War series (which I just finished before listening to this) where, although his core qualities are still there, deep down, he's lost so much and been through so much crap from everyone. I don't know if any other Doctor went through that much (War Doctor excluded) tbh. His relationship to his companions is also quite unique I think, maybe I'll write something about that one day. Now for the Divergent Universe arc, which I don't remember fondly either. Let's see if I change my mind as well.

[oswildin]

The War Within ~ Dhawan!Master x F!Reader

Request: Hi, an awkward bean here. But what about a TimeLady!Reader saving Dhawan!Master from that Green dimension thing. Perhaps the Master had feeling for her, yet never knew she had survived. Maybe she had a perception filter on and finally found the master having been looking for him cause she too has feelings for him. Hehe. ( @drapetxmaniia )

Summary: (Y/N) was a Timelord. She’d ran away, searching for her friends, but when she returned, her home was burnt. She knew she needed to find her friends.

Warnings: Angst and a bit of sadness.

(Y/N) had survived the destruction of Gallifrey. She had to watch her home burn. She mourned her planet, a fire within her burning as she felt rage. Rage against whoever had done it. She knew of the two Timelords that had ran away from Gallifrey. The Doctor and The Master. In fact she knew more than of them. She was their friend. Well, was.

She was more a friend to the Master, as she’d know him longer. The Doctor had ran away long before the Master followed suit. She always knew he was unpredictable. He was almost unhinged at times. It started ever since he looked into the time vortex. The drums.

She tried her best to be there for him, but it was hard. He was aggressive, spontaneous (in a bad way) and crazed. But she couldn’t help but still try. Try to make him better. She eventually fell for the fellow Timelord. She knew nothing could ever happen. He didn’t have interest in relationships. Friendship or romantic. He would say he only needed himself.

Then he left. He left her behind, disappearing from their home without a word. She somewhat resented him for it, but understood. He couldn’t stay in the place that had created him. She dreaded to think what he’d been doing over the decades. The war between the Daleks and Timelords began, ending in destruction everywhere. There were tales of how The Doctor saved them from the war, locking them away in another dimension, safe from harm but also trapped from the rest of the universe.

However, it seemed the Timelords only grew angrier, more reckless. They felt powerless, which led to utter chaos. The founding fathers started to do things that were unthinkable. They began to turn against their own. Wars were erupting around the planet. Timelords fighting Timelords. Their population was slowly dwindling. (Y/N) knew she needed to find the Doctor and the Master. They were the only two she knew could stop the madness.

So there she was; travelling the universe in a TARDIS she stole. Isn’t that how all great stories started?

She’d been able to trace the Doctors steps easily. She wasn’t exactly discreet. Any sign of trouble, she would be there. But the Master on the other hand...

Last she had heard he was dead. She didn’t believe it. It wasn’t in his nature to stay dead. He always somehow managed to survive.

So she kept searching. Hoping.

(Y/N) had decided to go home, try to find out more from the founding fathers, seeing if they could use them to track down the Master. But when she had arrived... her whole planet had been destroyed. Fires were lit, buildings had fallen... there was no sign of life.

That’s when (Y/N) had decided to go after the Doctor. If she couldn’t find the Master then at least she could find the Doctor. Her TARDIS had brought her to a bunker on Earth in England. Her ship disguised itself as a small brick building next to the bunker. She stepped out seeing the planes on the runway. Then she heard voices, and yelling. She quickly ran towards the bunkers entrance, peaking round the corner, seeing the Doctor and her companions with a man who felt familiar. They were surrounded by creatures that shone bright.

The Doctor played a recording of the mans voice back to him, as the man seemed to look disappointed, and annoyed. The next thing she knew the man had disappeared with the creatures, leaving the others alone.

“What happened? Where’d the Master go?”

One of the humans asked, causing (Y/N) to look surprised. The Master? He was the Master?!

She instantly ran back to her TARDIS, scanning the area the creatures had just been, trying to find an energy source or remnants of where they had come from. Finally she locked onto something, pulling a lever as her ship took off.

The TARDIS jolted as she landed. She quickly ran to the door, opening it as she was met with a dark, desolate place. She looked round, feeling her senses going off the charts. The energy was unbearable. She stepped out, walking forward, eyes searching wildly.

Suddenly, she was attacked from behind as a hand covered her mouth. She tried to get the persons hand off of them as she kicked behind her, causing the person to hiss in pain and loosen their grip. She took it as an advantage as she elbowed them in the side, managing to slip away from their grip. She grabbed a device from her jacket, aiming it at the man as he did the same. She narrowed her eyes, before realising who it was.

“Master?” She questioned, still holding her device in his direction. The Master titled his head slightly, wondering how the woman knew his name.

“How do you know who I am?” He asked, his voice low. She shook her head, lowering her device.

“Don’t you recognise me?” She raised a brow. “I know I’ve changed a bit but, come on.” She laughed lightly. “Thought Timelords were meant to recognise each other.” He narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“The Timelords are dead.” He hissed, stepping towards her.

“And yet, here we are.” She swallowed hard, looking at him in the eye as he slowly lowered his device.

“(Y/N)?” He questioned, brows furrowed. She smiled at the man.

“Bout time.” She folded her arms. “Thought I was gonna have to get the photo albums out to remind you.”

The Masters features softened as he realised who she was. He blinked a few times, shaking his head.

“How did you survive?” He asked, looking her up and down.

“I ran away.” She replied shortly. “But you know Gallifrey has been burned.” She told him, walking back towards her ship, which had disguised itself as one of the bizarre wire/chord looking things. “We need to find who did it.” She entered her ship, the Master hesitantly following. He felt his hearts racing as she spoke. He didn’t know how to tell her, he was the one to destroy their home.

“I ran away, trying to find you and the Doctor.” She told him, as he entered her ship. “Chaos was starting to erupt in the city. Then the whole planet. Wars broke out between our people.” She shook her head at the memory. “They turned on each other.” She stopped, looking over at the man, whose eyes were soft.

“How did you know where I was?” The Master asked, raising a brow.

“I have my ways.” She responded shortly. She seemed colder than he remembered. He remembered her being full of life, loud, bubbly... the woman stood before him was different. She was colder, more stern, rarely wore a smile.

“How long has it been?” The Master inquired, walking towards her.

“I stopped counting.” (Y/N) shrugged. “Wasn’t important anymore.” She looked over at him. She couldn’t help her feel her hearts race at the sight of him. Little did she know, she felt the same. “Why did you never come home?”

“Why would I?”

“Because I was there.” She furrowed her brows. “I waited. Every day I wondered if you would show up. And when the wars began...” She shook her head, looking down. “For some reason I hoped it was you that had started one. Just so I could see you. My friend.” She pulled the lever, the TARDIS beginning to disappear into the vortex.

“I’m sorry.” He told her sincerely, grabbing her arm as she went to turn away. She looked up at him, her eyes holding tears, but she refused to let them go.

“It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that we find whoever burnt Gallifrey.” She told him, snatching her arm away as she rounded the console. The Master sighed, closing his eyes before speaking.

“It was me.”

The room fell silent as (Y/N) listened to his words.

“What?” She asked, turning back to look at him.

“It was me. I burned Gallifrey.”

“No.” She laughed lightly. “No, it couldn’t have been.” She ignored him as he tried to talk to her, before she snapped. “Why?!” She shouted. “Why?! Why would you do that?!”

“The things I discovered... they deserved to pay.” He told her, his eyes sad, but also holding anger of his own. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “They were corrupt... The Timeless Child...” He started but she cut him off.

“Stop. Don’t.” She shook her head, hands trembling. She knew the prophecy, the stories...

“I’m sorry.” He told her once more, as she felt her hearts break.

“Why? Why did it have to be you...” She looked at him, eyes glossy as her cheeks were red from anger.

“Because no one else was going to do it.”

An hour or so later, (Y/N) reappeared after storming off. Her face was pale as her eyes were red. The Master could tell she had been crying.

“Does the Doctor know?” She asked, looking over at him.

“Yes.” He nodded. “She has yet to find out the full story though.”

“Still fighting then?”

“Yes.” He bit his cheek.

“When will it end?” She asked, more herself as she sat beside him on the steps.

“Do you hate me?” He asked quietly, turning his head to look at her as she stared at him, laughing to herself slightly.

“I could never hate you. And that’s the problem.” She sighed, looking down. “I want to hate you. I’ve tried over the last 200 years.” She admitted. “But I never could.”

“Why?” He asked, raising a brow. “You have every right to.”

“Because I physically can’t.” She told him quietly. “Didn’t you ever wonder why I always stood by you? Why I always followed you round? Why I was so sad when you left?” He went quiet, looking at her as he analysed her features. “For a genius, you are thick.”

They both went quiet as the Master finally clicked what she was implying. She went to stand, as he grabbed her hand, looking up at her as she stood before him.

“If it’s any constellation...” He paused. “I feel the same.” He stared up at her. “When I... Destroyed our home... I hated myself for so long. Because, I thought of you.” He told her quietly. “I thought I had sacrificed you, to end the chaos. I thought I had killed you.” He admitted as she looked down at him, her mouth slightly agape. “I suppose I’ve been angry at the universe since.” He mumbled under his breath. (Y/N) sent him a small smile as she held his hand back. She sat back next to him as they just sat in silence, appreciating one another’s company.

“200 years?” The Master raised a brow. “I thought you said you’d stopped counting.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, lightly whacking him in the chest.

~

Taglist: @blamerogertaylor @asupersonicwoman @a--1--1--3 @dannighost @imagine-whatever @wonders-of-the-multiverse @yourlocalspacebisexual @the-sweet-space-bi @impalasquiptyseven

~I’m beginning to get a bit confused with who wanted to be tagged! Please message me if you aren’t tagged and want to be!~

[mw-draws]

Everything I love about each Doctor

1 - grumpy grandad, but deep down he's one of the most chaotic incarnations of the Doctor. He hates everyone except the two humans he kidnapped, his granddaughter and his many adopted children throughout the years, ho hoho hmmmmm? Very relatable

2 - galactic hobo. Literally. He annoys everyone with his recorder but plays it anyway. Oh my giddy aunt. Loves his companions, bit of an idiot, but I love him

3 - James Bond if James Bond was an alien who knows a lot, but also very little about earth. Vinusian Aikido King. every two minutes, he's decking everyone in sight. Hates his companions at first, but grows to love them and gets very attached. Doesn't listen to the brigadier at all and I love that for him

4 - literally the biggest goof this side of the universe has seen. His big long scarf can be used as a weapon against whoever he pleases. Extra as fuck, loveable grin, jelly baby addict. Loves his friends. Hates Harry Sullivan

5 - big soft baby, literally the softest. Hates his friends, but loves them so much. Clumsy and bit stupid, but that's what makes him loveable. No sense of direction. Cricket king

6 - big gay coat. Would sell Peri for a corn chip. Chaotic bastard. Would fight god if given the chance.

7 - doesn't take any shit. Would die for Ace but would fight her at the same time. Evil little imp, would destroy you at chess. Loves tea and rice pudding. That's just a fact.

8 - victorian gay. Poor baby doesn't know what's coming. Confused, but at least he has comfy shoes. He's baby. Has the most extra tardis console of them all, still absolutely gorgeous though.

War - hates everything and everyone. Doesn't have time for anyone's shit. Just get to the point with him. No time for anyone. Emo.

9 - even bigger emo. Hates everyone. Poor baby is scarred from the war. Depressed, lonely, needs a hug. Bit stupid, but loveable. Sarcastic. Hilarious. Doesn't know when to stop

10 - slut. Dumbass. Confident in everything he says, even when he's wrong. weLL. Loves all of his friends. Big soft puppy. Would fight Donna Noble. Would lose. Goes too far sometimes. Still a bit emo.

11 - poorly co-ordinated giraffe. Bow-ties. Less of an emo, but gets big sad. Loves his tardis. Loves biscuits. Loves his friends, hates himself though. Just wants to have fun.

12 - big emo hours has returned. Grumpy space dad. Hates everyone, but learns to be happy again. #1 lesbian supporter. Wants to be bffs with the master again. Rants about space when he's supposed to be teaching something that has nothing to do with space. Soft. Venusian Aikido King has returned. Runs like a penguin with his arse on fire. Funky space grandad. Plays the guitar on a tank. Fuck davros lives. Scottish.

13 - happiness personified. No longer emo. The literal sun. Puppy. Good at hiding things. Loves her friends. Scronch. Is actually in love with her tardis. Just wants to see the universe with her friends. Super protective of her friends. Terrified of being seen as a killer. Fuck Dalek lives. How do phones work? Confused. Dumbass. Would fight god. Super strong. Gorgeous. What past?

[happymeishappylife]

Big Finish Audio Adventure Review: The Sky Man

Overall, this is a solid story, but this chapter of the War Master raises some big questions for those involved. But it’s well acted, its well produced and the time that elapsed in this story doesn’t not feel rushed or forced. Plus this really does open more of the door to what does the Master do when he’s not trying to completely destroy the Doctor and also what the Master would do if he ever travelled with a companion. But let’s look at the questions that were raised.

First, Cole Jarnish, is dying really such a terrible idea rather than surviving by travelling with the Master? Like I get that at the start of this story, he’s still in shock at the events around him and that’s why he escaped into the Master’s Tardis, but why would you trust him to take you somewhere where you can save the day? You’ve already been exposed to how the Master lies and how the Master is well aware of what’s going to happen because he is a Time Lord, and yet you think he’s good enough to try and help you save a planet? I find that a little unbelievable, but the way the stories are going, that’s the point of the Master’s manipulation and I fear what will happen to Cole the longer he travels with Master.

Second, Master why do you want to corrupt Cole? To the Master, he’s just a pest and he was annoyed that he snuck into his Tardis. This man literally means nothing to no one, he was an accident that happened or as gets stated, a Paradox. Why take him with you? Like I could understand if this was someone who was connected to the Doctor and he wanted to corrupt them, but Cole isn’t. So why is he going to the trouble to corrupt him?

Third, Master, why are you so obsessed with the Cybermen? Like I understand the fascination when he is plotting diabolical plans against the Doctor, because the Cybermen represent the failure and corruption of humanity, which the Doctor seems to love so much. But outside the Doctor, he has a very unhealthy obsession with them and his non-interference, but oh wait here, use these cybernetics parts, Cole, is so obvious that he wants to create them. I’m looking forward to hopefully seeing the consequences of these new Cybermen later in the stories. Also, there were jokes that Master’s wine wasn’t that good, but I bet it was delicious.

Fourth and finally, where did the Daleks go? Did the Master really outrun them finally? I’m just curious about this since you know, the Time War is on. I’m sure they will turn up, but I just find this suspicious.

Overall Rating: 8/10

[timeagainreviews]

Vengence on Gallifrey

Welcome back, friends. We’re meeting up sooner than we usually do! I could get used to the idea of a new episode every Wednesday and Sunday. Wouldn’t that be swanky? In the time since part one of "Spyfall," there has been a lot of speculation and theories about what would be in store for part two. How many of your fan predictions came true? I know a couple of mine did. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Before part two aired, I revisited part one. I was curious to review O’s storyline in light of the big reveal. Would I notice any nods or giveaways to his being the Master a second time around? The answer is basically, no. Other than the Master’s reaction of "ridiculous," to the inside of the TARDIS, there’s not much telegraphing to be had. I did, however, notice some things that seem head-slappingly stupid upon a second viewing.

My pal Steve compared the episode to "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker," in that it moves so fast that you don’t have enough time to realise how stupid it actually is. One of those things I noticed the second time around was the big glass box in the middle of O’s home. My mind had kind of glazed over by that point that I never questioned how stupid it was that he would have a spring-loaded glass box in his ceiling. Now, I’m only human, but the Doctor isn’t. Why didn’t that seem weird to her that he would have a trap hanging from the ceiling? It made me think of Troll 2 when the dad walks over and grabs a fire extinguisher conveniently propped against the house. Why was it there? Because the plot demanded it.

Despite this, there is one thing I feel deserves saying. As much as I liked "Kerblam!" "The Witchfinders," or "It Takes You Away," I haven’t watched any of them since they first aired. I haven’t watched any of season 11 since my initial viewing. Regardless of any plotholes I found, I wanted to rewatch Spyfall. And I think that goes to show that despite various failings on Chris Chibnall’s behalf, he’s got me watching the show again! What then is different?

My first response would be that the stakes are higher this time around. A lot of that has to do with the fact that the Master is back. Regardless of how overused he may or may not be in the new series, their relationship has gravity. As an agent of chaos, the Master ups the tension as we have a history with him. Like with the Dalek in "Resolution," he lends a familiar element that this new era deeply needed. In these past few days, I was truly worried about how our friends were going to get out of this mess. I haven’t felt that way about Doctor Who in a long time.

When we last saw our heroes, the Doctor had been transported to the brain realm and the companions were about to crash on a plane. Through a bit of time travel, the Doctor saves the day via phone app, thus continuing the trend of the Doctor messing with Ryan’s phone. At least the dude got to keep his data this time. I found the whole sequence with the Doctor making plaques and laminating belaboured the point a bit, but it was cute.

We learn that the Doctor is walking around in some sort of synaptic realm. She meets Ada Lovelace who seems to think it's her own mind, but that was her best guess. I would complain that it was a weird design if it was a mind, but then I remember "The Invisible Enemy," and realise how much worse it could have looked! According to Ada, she’s been visiting this place since she was a wee bairn. She seems rather cool about the whole thing but is perplexed to see the Doctor.

The two flash into Ada’s timeline of 1834, where the Doctor has found herself at a steampunk convention. I found some of the steam-powered devices like the grenade to be a bit moronic. It was so unbelievable that my initial reaction was that she was in some sort of alternate history. But no, it’s just goofy. The Master discovers the Doctor survived and goes to finish the job. Before the episode, I was thinking "I hope they show the inside of his TARDIS." Turns out they already had. I guess it’s the same size on the inside. I had kind of expected it to be like Clara and Me’s TARDIS in that the diner was just part of the facade with the real bit hidden away. But no, his console is right there in the main room. Weird. Also, remember when chameleon circuits used to make TARDISes look inconspicuous? The biggest thing we ever saw it do was when the Master’s TARDIS became a truck. The coolest camouflage still goes to my man Professor Chronotis’ TARDIS in Shada. It was just a door along a wall. How cool is that? Not complaining, merely lamenting the loss of simplicity.

From within the Master’s TARDIS we see Barton confront the Master. The conversation between these two really only serves to show Barton as alive, and establish the power structure which is that the Master is in charge, which we already knew. It also establishes the existence of a sculpture that looks like something a third-year art student might have half-assed while hungover. Barton goes to intercept the companions, while the Master takes care of the Doctor. He makes a grand entrance with his tissue compression device doling out murder without reason. Did anyone else wonder why the device seemed not only to shrink people but also to turn them stiff like plastic or wood? I suppose compacting material like that could increase rigidity, but it was an odd choice.

To get the Master to stop killing people, the Doctor placates his ego by getting on her knees and calling him Master. It was, for lack of a better word- hot. Ada shoots the Master with a steam-powered gun and they get away. This was more of Chibnall’s weird relationship with guns. The Doctor says to Ada that she doesn’t approve, but the second Ada uses a grenade the Doctor is like "Hell yeah, this is my bad bitch Ada! Represent!" It’s like in "The Ghost Monument," when she hated the use of guns against a group of emotionless robots and then used a bomb to take out the same group of emotionless robots. It’s almost as though it’s not the killing the Doctor hates, it’s the inefficiency of the whole thing. "Mate, use bombs, way more effective!" Okay, Chris.

In the last five minutes of part one, I wasn’t sure if Sacha Dhawan was going to be a good Master or not. I was worried he was going to be too flamboyant, but the second he hits the screen in part two, it’s as though he had always been in the role. I really love him and Jodie Whittaker’s chemistry. It’s great to see her Doctor faced with someone truly evil, and I feel as though it’s given her a lot to work with. Watching the two of them verbally spar is nothing short of delightful.

Barton comes up empty-handed in his search for the companions, which is no sweat off his back as he is Mr Tech Empire. After a little bit of finagling with the internet, their faces are soon posted everywhere as wanted criminals. Exactly like in "The Sound of Drums," they’re going to have to go off the grid. They even take refuge in a construction site! Doing so gives them a bit of downtime to talk and regroup. In a moment of clarity, it dons on them that they don’t really know the Doctor all that well. They decide that after all is said and done, they’re going to have a talk with the Doctor. Like many people, I was hoping that they would visit this concept, as series eleven made them seem a little too keen. It was a welcome bit of character development.

Another thing I love about this scene is that Graham isn’t annoying in it. "But Natalie," you say, "I thought you loved Graham!" And you would be right, I do love Graham. But I feel like it’s worth pointing out that they didn’t ruin him. Usually with a lot of shows and movies, if something is good or popular with fans, the tendency is to overdo it. This is the same lovable dude from the previous series and I feel that should be acknowledged. One of the things I really admire about Chris Chibnall is that he really seems to know his own character’s voices. One of my biggest issues with Clara Oswald is that her personality was all over the board. We don’t get that here.

Having travelled with the Doctor for a while now, the companions decide to carry on like she would have them do. They still have their spy gear and like exploding cufflinks and Graham’s laser shoes, and their timing couldn’t have been more perfect as the baddies from part one show up. Sadly, they’re not the Voord as me and many others had hoped. They’re a species known as the Kasaavin. It’s a name that’s about as inspired as Ranskoor Av Kolos, and that is not a compliment. It’s simply a very forgettable name. I dunno what it is, but I really hate the way Chris Chibnall names stuff. He’s willing to do groan-inducing puns like "Arachnids in the UK," or "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," but then decides to reign it in with "Resolution," despite the naming convention established in previous Dalek stories like "Revelation of the Daleks," or "Remembrance of the Daleks." Though I suppose in his defence, "Resolution," is about a singular Dalek. Either way, Graham’s laser shoes save the day. It’s ridiculous, but unlike the Master, it is a compliment when I say it.

The Doctor has now regrouped with Ada Lovelace and Charles Babbage. After a bit of fangirling on her part, she goes into Doctor brain mode. She pieces together that the multiple maps of the earth are, like I had guessed, different points in time. The aliens are spying on important people throughout time, for some reason that still makes zero sense to me. Why would they care about the Earth’s technology? Wouldn’t their computers completely best our technology? What threat could humans pose to them? I thought their sights were set on taking over the universe, but now it appears their sites are set on one planet’s technology. I guess you’ve got to start somewhere.

The Doctor surmises that the Kasaavin must have difficulty keeping their form in our universe, thus a need for a machine that keeps them stable. This, of course, is the bad art student sculpture we saw in the Master’s TARDIS which has now found its way into Charles Babbage’s study. This must have been too close to the truth as at this moment a Kasaavin shows up. The Doctor uses this as an opportunity to hitch a ride off of the Kasaavin’s energy surge in hopes to end up back in the present day. As she does, Ada grabs her hand and is transported as well. Instead of 2020, they end up in the year 1943 during a Nazi blitz on Paris. Literally, the first person they encounter is another historical figure- Noor Inayat Khan. That’s gotta be some kind of record for the show- three historical figures in one episode.

After establishing that they aren’t Nazis, the Doctor and Ada hide in the safety of Noor’s home. However, it is then that the Master shows up in full Nazi regalia and orders a team of Nazi soldiers to fire into the floor and leaves. I, like many of you, was immediately confused. The Nazis weren’t known to ally themselves with people of the Master’s current complexion. However, we learn that by using a series of perception filters, the Master has disguised himself as white, which makes sense in relation to the show. We discover the Doctor and Ada narrowly averted death as they were, in fact, hiding in the floor.

On the other end of things, Graham, Ryan, and Yaz use being under surveillance to draw Barton’s people into a trap. Using Graham’s laser shoes, they steal a vehicle and head to stop Barton. Speaking of Barton, we’re treated to a deliciously dark scene between him and his mother. It was pretty obvious that the woman strapped to a chair in his bad guy lair had to be his mother, but that didn’t make it any less funny.  This guy is such a piece of work that not even his mother likes him. He tells her that she is to be the first person to be subjected to his grand scheme. After being taken over by blue electricity, she appears to die. What a dick.

Back in Paris, the Doctor realises Noor is a British spy. Using her telegraph, the Doctor baits the Master by tapping out four beats- the heartbeat of a Time Lord. Unable to resist, the Master taps four beats in response to the Doctor. What happened next was one of the coolest things I’ve seen on Doctor Who in a while. The Doctor and the Master make contact telepathically, something of which hasn’t been seen in the show for years. I quite literally threw my hands up into the air with joy. Kudos to Chris Chibnall for giving me the nerd feels.

The Doctor and the Master meet up atop the Eifel Tower where they have a rather intimate conversation. We find out it was the Master who killed C in the previous episode. So yes, they did waste Stephen Fry, which officially makes me a disappoint. The Doctor deduces that the Master isn’t actually in control of the Kasaavin. Instead, the Master has merely allied himself with them, claiming to have given them a broader scope of vision. I’m not exactly sure how going from wanting to take over the universe to taking over a small planet is a broadening in scope, but stop asking questions and watch the show.

Now, remember how I just gave kudos to Chris Chibnall? Well, I am going to have to take those back. In an attempt to delay the Master, the Doctor gives him away to the Nazis. She makes them think he is a British spy and directs them to their location. However, not only does she do this, but she also disables his perception filters. So effectively, the Doctor, a white woman, gives up a brown man to the Nazis. It wasn’t enough to make them think he’s a spy, they had to also see that he had brown skin. I was honestly a bit disgusted by this. How would they even recognise him as the same guy they were told was a spy? They’re going to arrive and find a person of colour in a Nazi uniform and not know who he was. Jesus Christ, Chibnall.

The Doctor uses the Master’s TARDIS to get back to the present time, just in time to find Barton unrolling his big plan. He goes on a long speech about how we give all of our information to corporations and how we should watch who we allow to pry into our privacy. It’s the social media equivalent of "Don’t blink." It’s a very effective bit of writing on par with one of Steven Moffat’s better speeches. It’s a shame it was preceded by the Doctor selling the Master out to Nazis.

So what’s the big plan? Well, remember the spy woman in part one whose DNA had been rewritten? And remember how Barton was only 93% human? It turns out that the Kasaavin plan to rewrite the DNA of the human race and turn us into hard drives by storing information within our DNA. They do so by using our smartphones and tablets against us. In the same arc of blue electricity as Mother Barton, people all over the world begin to be assimilated. During this entire press conference scene, I’m not sure if any of the actors in the audience were given proper direction as they have the most benign faces throughout most of this. Barton, whose speech went from zero to megalomaniacal in the first few seconds, should have sent up red flags across the room, but instead, they were as serene as cows. It was bizarre.

That was it, that was the big plan. Turn people into hard drives. I think? I had to ask a few of my friends what they thought it was supposed to be because I was worried I had missed something. Were they trying to take over the bodies of humans so they could have corporeal form? If so, then why say they wanted to store data in our DNA? Why do they need so much data storage anyway? Have they got a huge stash of hentai in their universe? Were they torrenting all of Doctor Who? Seriously, I do not understand their motivation or their methods. But honestly, I hardly care, because the real star of the show is the Master.

Having waited 77 years, the Master shows up just in time to be kind of late to the show. Like, he didn’t even buy a gun in that time. I do however look forward to the Big Finish audios pertaining to that era of his life. However, in the meantime, the Doctor took it upon herself to put a bug in the Kasaavin’s system which negates their mission and reverses the conversion. She informs the Kasaavin that the Master had planned to double-cross them. As they depart from our universe, they take the Master with them, but not before he mentions to the Doctor that Gallifrey was destroyed.

After getting Ada and Noor to their respective timelines, the Doctor goes to see Gallifrey for herself. Sure enough, the once-great Time Lord society has been raised to the ground. It’s a powerful bit of acting on Jodie Whittaker’s behalf. Devastated, the Doctor returns to the TARDIS only to be greeted by a hologram of the Master telling her it was him that did it, as a sort of act of punishment or vengeance. This is a much needed source of motivation for the Master’s current rage, considering how much of a departure it is from Missy’s redemption arc. Remember the timeless child storyline I’ve been dreading? Well, I’m genuinely surprised to be sitting here today to tell you that it has piqued my interest. Having something to do with the founders of Time Lord society, Rassilon and Omega, the implication is that their legend is based upon a lie, thus the Master’s final warning to the Doctor at the end of part one. 

So who is the timeless child? Well, I am relieved to say I don’t think it’s the Doctor. My wildest guess is that she was some sort of person that didn’t experience time like the rest of us and was killed to harness that power. Think Rusty Venture powering his dream machine with the heart of an orphan. Like I said, my wildest guess. The biggest takeaway from all of this is that I’m sitting here speculating about Doctor Who. With Moffat’s plotlines oftentimes leading nowhere interesting, I had grown wary of speculation. Why wonder what was next when it was most likely something disappointing? It’s nice to feel intrigued by Doctor Who again.

Upon returning to her fam, the Doctor is distant and quiet. The companions can tell something is up, but as they decided earlier, they needed to have a talk with the Doctor. The Doctor concedes and tells them the basics- she’s a Time Lord, she’s from Gallifrey, she can regenerate her body, the Master was her friend. This bit of truth on her behalf seems to please the trio as they don’t press the issue further. The Doctor throws the TARDIS into gear and we’re left lingering on her face for a moment before the episode ends.

Afterwards, my wife and boyfriend and I sat in silence. As the biggest Whovian in the house, I think they were waiting for my reaction. And in some ways, I think I was too. I really enjoyed the episode, I did. But I had my issues, which I’ve listed extensively above. My main qualms at that time were of structure. Much like the first episode, this one was clunky. The pacing was definitely better than last time, but still had issues. But otherwise, I needed to think about what I had just seen. I liked the anti-fascism angle, save for the Doctor selling out the Master to the Nazis. And there were a lot of great callbacks to classic Who. My wife had checked out at the DNA storage bit because she’s a giant nerd and was feeling nitpicky about the science in a science fiction show. But it was Duncan whose comments I think were the most on point. He told me that he, as a casual viewer, was lost throughout much of the episode. For him, a little bit of explanation peppered throughout the episode would have gone a long way.

One of the most persistent flaws in classic Doctor Who is that oftentimes they would explain what was happening within the final episode of a story, leaving you in the dark for the first few episodes. In the same way, Spyfall had left him feeling lost. I even said it recently that I am not the kind of fan Doctor Who needs to please. I will watch the show regardless of its quality. If someone as fanatical as myself was feeling confused, imagine how my boyfriend felt. It is, as he said, why people start tuning out. The show is on course to what may possibly be one of it’s best seasons in years. I’m hoping that the next few episodes give us a bit of breathing room before throwing us back into the deep end.

[mca-attack21]

DALEK

This is my first Doctor Who Imagine. It is based off of Season of Season 1 episode 6 with the 9th doctor and the Reader taking the place of Rose. Though I suppose you can imagine it with any of the Doctors. Word Count: 2827  This is my Masterlist where you can find more doctor who imagines.

Traveling with the Doctor was a truly indescribable experience. He took you on adventures to places that your mind couldn’t even begin to fathom. Today though, your destination was not by choice. The TARDIS had been drawn by a signal and you wound up six miles under ground in Utah. The year: 2012. The Doctor knew that it was never a good sign when the TARDIS was forced off course. This whole situation was giving him an uneasy feeling. He however decided that it was best that he hide his concern until it was proved warranted.

“So what exactly are we doing here?” you asked as you exited the TARDIS and looked around. It appeared as if you were in some sort of museum.

“I don’t know yet,” the Doctor said as the lights came on. It was then that the two of you saw that this was no ordinary museum. The artifacts were entirely alien. The doctor reached for your hand with a smile, “Shall we?”

As the two of you explored he reminisced and explained to you what the different artifacts were. He stumbled slightly as he saw what was unbeknownst to you the head of a cyber-man. “Doctor what is it?” you asked pulling him from his state of disbelief.

“An old friend- well enemy of mine,” he muttered. He reached out to touch the glass surrounding it and set off the alarm system. Within seconds the two of you were surrounded by guards with guns. The Doctor pushed you behind him protectively. “Gentleman, what can we do for-” the doctor started before being shoved forcefully to the ground and handcuffed.

The guards led the two of you into an office where a man was observing more artifacts. “I wouldn’t hold it like that,” the Doctor explained to the man.

“Why is it dangerous?” the man inquired.

“No, it’s just wrong. May I?” the Doctor said moving towards the artifact. As he did the guards re-positioned their guns.

“Stand down and give him use of his hands,” the man said before handing over the artifact. The Doctor took it from him and turned it around before using it to play music. “Who are you?” the man questioned.

“I’m the Doctor. Who are you?”

“Like you don’t know. I’d like to know how you managed to get 53 floors down in one of the most secure places on earth. Quite a collector yourself, your accomplice is easy on the eyes,” the man continued gesturing towards you. This comment had made you feel uneasy and you wished you could have left.

“So you are an collector of things you can never understand. And because you can’t understand these incredibly remarkable items, you lock them up,” the Doctor decided.

“And you claim greater knowledge,” the man scoffed

“I don’t need to make claims. I know how great I am,” the Doctor replied.

“And yet I captured you, right by the cage trying to see my one living specimen. And now you and the pretty lady are at my mercy.”

“And what is it that you’ve got down there?” The Doctor asked

“Oh you will see,” he answered, and then turned to the guards, “inform the cage we are headed down and take the girl upstairs,” he then turned to the Doctor, “and you, Doctor with no name, come and see my pet.”

The doctor was lead back down the hall to where the two of you were captured earlier. He hated being separated from you and having no idea of where you were. But there wasn’t much he could do, after all the two of you were severely outnumbered and outgunned. He was brought out of his thoughts when the annoying man began to speak again, “We have tried everything to get it to speak. While the creature has shielded itself, we have seen definite signs of life inside.”

“Inside what?” The Doctor questioned. Before the man could answer, the door opened and revealed a Dalek. The Doctor was completely caught off guard. He didn’t even entirely understand what it was that he was feeling. Just seeing the Dalek had brought it all back- flashes of the time war-the screams. He didn’t even notice when the chamber door was sealed behind him.

Then it came to life, “The-Doctor-Enemy-of-the-Dalek-Exterminate-Exterminate,” it said as it started functioning.

The doctor sprinted to the door and started banging on it. “You’ve got to let me out!” he cried. Defeated, he turned around to face it again. And then he realized it wasn’t working, “It’s not working,” he declared in disbelief before laughing. “you are powerless. Nothing more than a glorified paperweight, You can’t kill me, you can’t kill anything. You have no purpose. You are nothing,” the Doctor taunted. He turned away for a moment to regain his composure. “What are you here for?” he asked.

“I-am-awaiting-orders,” the Dalek explained.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” asked the Doctor.

“I-am-a-solider-I-was-bred-to-receive-orders.”

“You are never going to get any. Not ever. Your race is dead. They burned in the time war. The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second,” the Doctor beamed.

“You-destroyed-us?” the Dalek asked.

The Doctor’s face softened. He had to turn away, For a split moment he thought he had imagined hearing emotion in the Dalek’s voice. He had done it. He had destroyed an entire race. But what had it cost him? Everything.

The Dalek seemed to pick up on this moment of weakness and asked, “What-of-the-timelords?”

“Dead. They burned too. The end of the last great war,” the Doctor answered reluctantly.

“The-coward-survived,” the Dalek commented

“Oh, but I caught your little signal, ‘help me’, poor little thing, but no one else is coming. There is no one else left,” the Doctor explained before the weight of that statement fully sank in.

“I-am-alone-in-the-universe,” the Dalek realized.

“Yep” the Doctor confirmed.

“So-are-you,” the Dalek returned. And this caused the Doctor’s face to fall. He was alone. The last of the timelords. It was then that the Doctor was escorted out of the room. He tried to warn them that it was not safe to keep the Dalek down there. But the man ignored him walking into the room to speak with his prized possession.

The doctor was taken to a room where he was chained up. “What the hell do you think you are doing?” he demanded. He tried to break free, but to no avail. They removed his jacket and placed him against a metal table of sorts.

The man entered the room with a team of what appeared to be scientists who he ordered to begin running tests. “So now I have a second Alien, last of his species,” he said. The doctor was shot with a beam and shrieked in pain. The man was staring at a screen. “Two hearts- how clever. Let’s see what else we can take from you,” he muttered.

“So that’s it, you're not a collector, just a scavenger.” the Doctor shouted

“What I am is brilliant. I take the alien trash that appears here and use it to make advancements in science. Just last year we were able to cure the common cold. Of course we didn’t spread the cure- only private investors with deep pockets,” the man grinned as he began to walk away.

“At least the Dalek is honest,” The Doctor said.

The man turned around, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“The Dalek does what it was born to do. For the survival of its species. You on the other hand are just a monster,” the Doctor answered.

“Then I will just have to live with that won’t I?” the man said

“It’s going to get out. It will kill all of us. I’m the only one who can stop it. It’s woken up and knows I’m here. It’s going to get out,” warned the Doctor.

“Well then, my men will handle it,” he said while hitting a button that shot a ray into the Doctor’s chest causing him so much pain he could not speak. “And I wonder about that doll you brought here with you? I guess I’m just going to have to run tests on her too,” he laughed.

“Don’t you dare,” the Doctor screamed before being hit again with the beam. The pain was too much and he blacked out momentarily.

He vaguely heard the man shouting at his men “What do you mean she is gone, find the girl?”

-------------Meanwhile-----------

You had managed to duke one of the guards and hid in a locker room. It was here that you found a uniform and badge of one of the other guards, who must have been showering. You changed quickly and headed towards the TARDIS. On your way you heard the screams of something. You went towards the noise flashing your badge and hoping no one would realize that you didn’t belong there.

You were let into the vault and there it was. You had never seen anything like it before. You walked up to it and whispered, “Hello there, my name is Y/n, I’m with the doctor, we can help you. Are you in pain? Tell me what to do.”

It was silent for a minute before responding, “I-am-dying.”

“We can help you,” you answered.

“I-am-the-last-Dalek. My-race-is-dead-I-shall-die-alone,” it explained.

You reached up and touched the Dalek, not knowing the consequences that would follow. It immediately came to life and broke free from the chains. The scientist ran into the room and tried to force it back into the cage. The Dalek didn’t hesitate before killing him. You were pulled out of the chamber and it was shut. You heard the Doctor’s voice from over the speaker’s system. “You’ve got to get out of there. It will not stop until every single one of you is dead. Y/n listen to me, you have to run. You have to run the fastest you have ever ran in your life. You can’t look back. I’ll find you- I’ll get you out of here. RUN!” he all but screamed through the PA.

You listened and tried your best to ignore the screams and gunshots echoing behind you. You found a staircase and started to run up it. You thought that this would stop the Dalek seeing as it had no way to climb them. But then it started levitating and chasing after you. You ran into a room full of more soldiers. They ushered you away before opening fire on it. You looked back and caught a glimpse of it. It was like it was looking into your soul.

You continued to run up more flights of stairs when you got a call from the Doctor. “Now’s not a good time” you huffed as you continued to run.

“Where are you?” He demanded.

“I’m on the 49th level running up” you answered.

“We have no choice but to seal off the bunker. You have to make it to level 46.”

“Can’t you stop them from closing?” you objected

“I’m the one closing them, it can’t wait. For the love of God just run. Your life depends on it!” he ordered.

As you rounded the last corner you saw the door closing. You gave it your all, but it wasn’t enough. You fell to the floor utterly exhausted. It was then that you heard the muffled sounds coming from your pocket. “Y/n! Y/n did you make it? Say something!” the Doctor panicked.

“I’m so sorry” was all you could manage back. You turned and saw the Dalek closing in. “It wasn’t your fault. Remember that, it wasn’t your fault. I wouldn’t have changed a thing” you said before hearing the dreadful word “Exterminate” followed by a blast of electricity.

Meanwhile:

The Doctor pulled the phone from his ear not wanting to hear your last painful screams. His dreams would already be haunted by you. Regardless of what you said, it was his fault. He should never had brought you here. He should have fought to stay with you. “It killed her” he muttered in utter disbelief.

“I’m sorry” he man offered.

“I said I’d protect her. She was only here because of me. And I could have killed that Dalek in its cell, but you stopped me.” the Doctor continued.

“It was the prize of my collection!” the man exclaimed.

“Your collection? Well, was it worth it? Worth all those men’s deaths? Worth Y/n? Let me tell you something, mankind goes into space to explore. To be part of something greater. But you, you want to drag the stars down and stick them underground and label them. You’re about as far from the stars as you can get. In your own right you may be a genius. But no one will ever remember you, it will never get any better for you than this and now you have nothing” the Doctor fumed.

“And you took her down with you. She deserved so much more. But no one will know her or how wonderful she was. It’s over now” he whispered to himself, just starting to feel the pain in his chest. He was going to walk out when the transmitter screen came back on.

“Unlock-the-Bulkhead-or-Y/N-will-die” the Dalek demanded. Sure enough there was video feed of both of you on the screen.

“Y/n! I thought you were dead” the Doctor rejoiced.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy” you replied trying not to get too hopeful.

“Unlock-the-Bulkhead-or-Y/N-will-die” the Dalek repeated before adding “What-are-the-use-of-emotions-Doctor-if-you-will-not-save-the-woman-you-love?”

The Doctor battled with himself before ultimately unsealing the bunker. He couldn’t stand the idea of losing you twice.  He ran down to alien exhibits to find some sort of weapon and the raced back up to where you were. “Y/n. get out of the way!” he demanded.

“No, I won’t let you do this” you said standing protectively in front of the Dalek.

“That thing has killed hundreds of people. It killed my people. I have to finish this.” he said.

“Funny Doctor it isn’t the one pointing a gun at me” you answered.

“I’ve got to do this. I have to kill it before it hurts anyone else” he yelled.

“Look at it doctor” you instructed moving slightly out of the way. “It just wants to feel the sun.”

“But it can’t” he said lowering the gun.

“It couldn’t kill me, it felt my fear. It’s changing Doctor. What about you? What the hell are you changing into?” you questioned.

The doctor placed the gun on the ground and started towards you. “ I couldn’t...I wasn’t...Y/n, they’re all..they’re all dead,” he struggled.

“Why-do-we-survive?” the Dalek asked.

“I don’t know,” the Doctor replied.

“I-am-the-last-of-the-Daleks,” the Dalek stated.

“You’re not even that. When you used Y/n’s energy to regenerate you started mutating. That’s why you couldn’t kill her. Why you can’t kill me, You are turning into something new. I’m sorry” the Doctor explained.

“There-is-so-much-pain-so-much-darkness-Y/n-give-me-orders-Order-me-to-die” it pleaded.

“I-I can’t do that” you answered glancing back at the doctor. It was an impossible thing to ask of someone. You’d be responsible for it’s death. In a way you already were. And for the deaths of all of the soldiers.

“You’d be showing it mercy. Daleks can’t live as mutations it goes against everything they believe.” the Doctor spoke up trying to help.

“Okay-just do it then-I order you to” you said turning away so you didn’t have to watch.

“Thank-you” was the last thing it said. The Doctor quickly ushered you out of the room and the two of you heard the explosion. He was talking to you, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying. You barely registered being lead into the TARDIS or her whirling off into neutral space. You didn’t remember the doctor taking you to your room and didn’t realize he had come back to check on you.

All you could think about was how alone the Dalek was. The last one of its kind and you had made it die. You ended a species today. There would never be another Dalek. And then you thought of all the people it had killed. They all had families that they were supposed to go home to. But they would never see any of them again. It was your fault. You could’ve died today. That could have been it. And the Doctor. You never thought about how alone he truly is. His entire race is gone. And yet he is so kind and brave. He has saved so many.  

The tears continued to stream down your face as everything continued to race through your mind, The Doctor pulled you into his arms. He had never seen you cry before, it scared him and made him feel horrible at the same time. He wanted to assure you that everything would be okay. But instead he just held you, glad that you were safe in his arms. For now, that was enough.    

[majingojira]

Crossover Universe Musings -- Aliens

One of the things about working in a mixed Crossover Universe, linking to other series not because “it's cool” but from in story crossovers, meetings, and homages and the occasional pseudo-scholarly article, is that a lot of “Blending” happens.  And it really is rather fun. Or, rather, it’s a time-saving measure because having X number of species all being basically the same is just annoying as hell.  But remember, working in the “Crossover Universe” is like trying to piece together what happened at Pearl Harbor using only the movies made about it.  Here are some results, let’s see what you recognize. 

The Elder Things - One of the oldest sapient species in the universe, and also the ugliest. The Barel bodied, flam-footed, branching-tentacle armed, winged, starfish-headed horrors of Lovecraft.  They made many ancient technologies later species would claim as their own.  Also known as The Quintessons. 

The Ascended - A collective of various species that have shed biological form to exist as energy, thought, and smug. Many species achieve this, and each group holds itself to different standards.  They are all obscenely powerful, and when they act, it is rarely small. Also known as Any Number of God-Like Beings in Star Trek, The Ancients, Ultraman and other Ultras, The Mu (RahXephon and others), and Preservers. The later of which is partly responsible for why there are so many transported human cultures out in the galaxy.  The Time Lords - Ya know these goons.  That one meddling Doctor pops his head up everywhere.  The Celestials - GIANT SPACE GODS! They silently judge for their own reasons.  And tinker.  Because they are bored.  The Xothians - Better known as The Star Spawn of Cthulhu, or just the Star Spawn.  Powerful beings in mind, soul, and body. They have squid-heads, dragon bodies, and roughly humanoid shape. Usually standing between 3 and 23 meters tall.  The “Great Race” of Yith - They mentally transfer themselves into different species to learn, but generally have a habit of stranding their ‘preferred’ host body’s original mind in their last body.  So, yeah, they’re dicks. But they LOVE learning.  The Mi-Go - Aliens from Outside our reality, true Outsiders.  Horrific to view in their true form and masters of biomechanics, they sometimes like to show up on earth as Yeti rather than their true insect/fungal forms. Their aims in our universe are not nice.  The Neural Parasites - These are beings that either dominate a host humanoid or ‘blend’ with them to share knowledge and experience. The former is best represented by the “Let me play god!” Goa’uld.  The latter is best represented by the Trill. They have only recently diverged into separate species.  They have also been presented as the “Bluegill.”  Though for the record, it was the constructions at Egypt and other locations that brought the Goa’uld to earth, they had no hand in it at all.  The Colonists - The most commonly known “Grey” type.  They made first contact with Earth in 1947 and started setting up for colonization of the planet. They weren’t the only aliens to visit that year, but they were the only intentional ones.  The species infects through a “Black Oil” virus that infects a sapient species and converts it into one of them. Immature forms are more savage than the adult ones.  They use technology to take human form, but the technology didn’t always work well at first.  In the 50s and 60s, their human forms were basically shells of flesh with no blood, and no heartbeat -- and they could never quite get the pinky right. Plus, their bodies vaporized on death.  Today, they just are better at changing shape but after 60 some years of preparation, they lost interest in the earth due to climate destabilization. Examples are seen in The X-Files and The Invaders.   The Asgard - The other type of Grey, smaller, smarter, and less dickish. Examples include Stargate SG-1 and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. 

Xenomorphs - a.k.a. The Brood. A Genetically engineered bioweapon of a species that got out of hand.  Who made them?  Some jerks.  The Predators  - a.k.a. The Yau’tja, The Hirogen. They have a hunter-based culture.   Expatriated Humans - They are people who were transported elsewhere by other species and have since become their own cultures.  Some become different species, such as the Thoans, Jaffa, etc. 

The Kree/Kherubim/Capellans/Eridaneans/Sontarans - Between the Ancient and Expatriated Humans lie this species and its offshoot cultures.  They look human, but thanks to differences, they tend to be more physically fit, more durable, heal faster, and extremely long-lived.  This is in part due to nanotechnology, and in part due to genetic engineering on their part.  Some of them crash-landed on earth (or rather, several different ships of theirs crash-landed on earth at several different times) and they tweaked history every now and again.  Some are more ‘enhanced’ than others, and their society did assimilate a few other sapient species into their midst, but they are few in number.  The way to tell the cultures apart is to see if they have an elected “King”, or a ruling council.  Or if they obey a biocomputer. The societies have been at war with themselves and others for a long time and have a long history of using clone troopers as needed. Most look human, but some are not.  Some are blue, and some have true ‘dome heads’.   Kryptonians and Viltrumites/Daxamaites - They started as a mining colony for the above species.  They altered themselves to face the harsh environment: Both had high gravity, but one was a cold world with low light, so they used nanites to store extra energy, enhanced their senses genetically and nanotechnologically, and also could use their nanites to make a heat-based energy weapon in case of emergencies.  The latter had to fend off savage beasts so regularly, tweaking themselves to better survive combat was more useful than just having bigger guns to fend them off.  When the Kree/Capellan civilization was in one of its downturns, the two were left to themselves and decided to act on their own initiative.  They had their experiences of trying to be a galactic power in their own right, but the Kryptonians mostly turned in on themselves, while the Dazamites/Viltrumites cut such a swath through space, biological warfare and decimated the species.  Then Krypton blew up, leaving few survivors of that planet too.  Though, thanks to humanity’s special ability to crossbreed with damn near any non-Terran sapient species, members of each group view Earth with special importance.   The Rutan Host/Changelings/Founders/Skrulls/Daemonites/Formless Spawn of Tsathoggua - Shapeshifters whose natural state is liquid.  They are intelligent, but their young, sent out to explore the universe then find their way back home, can be very dangerous as they can be ... infectious.  Not as bad as another species from their home planet that got out in the universe -- no. Not as bad as that... Thing.  Or the horrifying Blob that originates on their homeworld but also barrels through space.  But, a juvenile member can dive onto another being, “Blend” with it, and then take its form.  However, this process is always a battle of wills, and people of strong minds and hearts can overcome the being and gain elastic abilities from the encounter.  Often referring to themselves as “Plastic” or “Elongated” men.  It’s pretty Fantastic.  BTW: Skrull is a slur against them.   

The Borg/Cybermen - Humanoids who, in order to survive, replace their weaker organic parts with mechanical ones.  They share their ‘gift’ with as many species as they can.  Also, they are dicks.  The Klingons/Draconians - Honorable Warriors with forehead-ridges and a dark complexion.   The Sarmaks/Kaldanes - a species from an other-dimensional version of Mars (I call it “Nevernever Mars” because crossovers) who tried to invade earth in 1898.  The War of the Worlds and the Barsoom series demonstrates this species. 

The Dholes/Space Monsters/Uchuu Kaiju - Massive, planet boring worms that fly through space and crawl through dreamlands.  They are the most terrifying species known that isn’t an out-and-out god.  The Myceneans - Gigantic beings, 3 to 30m in height (depending on how you allow things in your crossover universe), they alter themselves genetically and mechanically to become living weapons.  They are really only distinguishable by one feature: Having a secondary head usually in the enter of their chest.   The Cybertronians - Lastly, I’ll mention the most infamous Elder Thing creation (other than Shoggoths). They’ve been locked in a war that drags other species down with them for hundreds of thousands of years.  They are also insidious invaders, disguising themselves as different native machines to get one over on their foes.  While some do try to help, most of them view organic life with revulsion.  There are biomechanical Cybertronians that can disguise themselves as other living beings.  These are ostracized in their society but still employed as spies on other worlds.  One possible timeline has this species locked in combat with another creation of the Elder The Zentradi and Meltrandi.  4m tall giants who live for war.  This would lead to a 1999 crash landing of a Cybertronian city-ship, and it’s recovery/refit by humans who made jets based on the corpses of dead Cybertronians.  This technology was sometimes called “Robotech.” Other species of note that don’t have crossover representation, but are important to other degrees and are better known include Vulcans, Romulans, Daleks, Ogrons, Unas, Replicators, Klyntar, Color Out of Space, Majesdenians, Flying Polyps, Star Vampires, Xiclotlian, and Zarr.

[nerdtrash-iteration]

(Re)watching Doctor Who: series 7

Alright onto Matt Smith’s final series. I had heard a lot of complaints about this series before diving in but I wanted to keep an open mind about it. Let’s go.

Series 7 (Eleventh Doctor) Part 1 7.X1: The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe I honestly really like this Christmas special. It isn’t one of the better ones but I think it’s charming for what it is. I really like the forest setting and the digger crew, they had loads of personality. I love how protective the mother is of her kids. I really like the pseudo Time Vortex used at the end and the happy ending it brings. Yeah the kids aren’t amazing characters and the plot is a bit all over the place, but I still really liked it. Also the ending scene with the Ponds is really touching. 7.1: Asylum of the Daleks This gave me a bit of tonal whiplash seeing Amy and Rory broken up all of a sudden. And I was dreading another Dalek story. But I really liked it! I love the creepy setting, the interactions between Amy and Rory and this is the first time I’ve been excited about a Dalek story in ages. Loved this first version of Clara. The ending really surprised me and really got me emotional :( Overall a decent start to series 7. 7.2: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship Mixed but mostly positive feelings on this episode. I think the villain and the plot aren’t great and definitely could have done some tidying up. But I do like the goofy tone and the new characters we meet. Especially Rory’s dad, a legend. 7.3: A Town Called Mercy Ugggghhhhhhh. Again there’s that bias against stories set in America. I do like some things about it. Love seeing the Doctor angry and trying to enact moral judgment. Some interesting ethical stuff at play here. This guy is a doctor helping people but he is a war criminal. But I just found it mostly underwhelming. Didn’t care for the cyborg nor the setting. 7.4: The Power of Three Disappointed this wasn’t the 3rd episode in series 7, would have really been good timing. Anyway I’m very fond of this episode. Love Rory’s dad again, love the slow pace allowing the characters to have meaningful interactions. I like that it’s addressed that Amy and Rory really do have the ability to spend weeks away from their “normal” time apparently without missing anything. The ending is pretty weak but I have heard there were production issues around that so I’ll forgive it. This is a bit of a frustrating episode in the context of the next one when you look at the arc of the Ponds, but I do like it on its own. 7.5: The Angels Take Manhattan I remember friends of mine being devastated when this episode aired. So I know this is the last episode the Ponds appear in and I know what’s happens to them in the graveyard at the end. But I was really impressed with the use of time travel in the episode’s plot, especially how the novel predicts what happens. I was annoyed at how inconsistent the Angels were at times. In the scene before Amy and Rory jump, there were plenty of times where no-one was looking at the Statue of Liberty Angel. Why didn’t it take them then??? Also while I love the episode on its own, it is strange in the context of the Ponds’ arc. These last few episodes have had them conflicted on whether they should continue travelling with the Doctor. In the previous episode, they decide they will. And now they’re dead. Just seems a bit jarring with its pacing. But overall I do love this episode. Part 2 7.X2: The Snowmen Damn, do I have mixed feelings on this episode. I think I saw bits of it at the time of airing? Anyway I really don’t care for the Snowmen, the ice nanny nor the Great Intelligence. I only really cared for the Great Intelligence as a character in The Name of the Doctor. Most of the time I found him really boring. Anyway plenty of positive things in this episode. Love Matt Smith’s Victorian garb. Really like this new version of Clara and the use of the Paternoster gang, especially Strax. Also I will always be mesmerised by the scene where Clara ascends the spiral staircase through the clouds up to the TARDIS. The whole double life things she has going is a bit weird, didn’t really get that. 7.6: The Bells of Saint John Yiiiiiiiiiiikes. This single episode made it very clear to me why so many Doctor Who fans hate series 7b. This version of Clara really ain’t it so far, but I think that’s mostly down to this really bizarre script. Clara being someone in her mid 20s who doesn’t know how to connect to WiFi, Jesus Christ. I know it was 2013 but STILL.  Also she makes ONE JOKE about Twitter and the Doctor responds with “Omg you’re a genius now, how can that be”. I hated that. Had anyone in their mid 20s actually glanced at this script? I thought the WiFi plot was ehh. But it was quite chilling to see how it ended. With the villain being reduced to a child state, that was really sad. I also really liked the TARDIS appearing on a plane, with Clara still holding her cup of tea. And the Doctor cycling up the Shard. It’s unfortunate that Clara outsmarting the bad guys is nullified by the fact that her intelligence is not her own here. Anyway a very frustrating start to series 7b. 7.7: The Rings of Akhaten This episode was definitely an improvement to me over the very shaky start. Clara has a bit more to do here, we see some depth with how she feels about her mother’s death. I really like Akhaten as a setting. The monster is alright, not amazing but I’ll take it. I also like some of the interactions the Doctor and Clara have. Overall a decent step forward. 7.8: Cold War Oh no, here we go again. Nothing really glaringly bad about this episode but I just found it really lackluster and boring. I felt Clara went a step backwards here and didn’t have much to do. Setting didn’t really interest me. I did actually like Clara’s interactions with the trapped Ice Warrior. That was cool. 7.9: Hide This! This is a decent one for me in series 7b. I adore the authenticity with the ghost hunters’ costumes and equipment. I really felt like I was watching a 70s horror film. This is one of those rare cases for me where giving a sci-fi explanation to something supernatural makes it more interesting. I thought the pocket dimension was creepy and I loved the future-dweller’s use in the story. Few quibbles being I didn’t think the ghost hunters had quite enough chemistry. Also I found the rules of the episode a bit inconsistent. Apparently it’s near impossible for the TARDIS to survive long in the pocket dimension. And yet it gets in there twice? 7.10: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS Another episode I have mixed feelings on. FIrstly I adore the setting. I love being reminded that the TARDIS is a truly complex and dangerous beast to be in the belly of, especially when it is being threatened. I liked that the Doctor and Clara have some solid interactions here, with the Doctor venting his frustration at her constant reappearances as different people. I really liked the group’s future selves being used as the villains. I thought the resolution was okay, could have been a bit more interesting. I didn’t super care for the three brothers in this storyline and thought lying to one about being an android really took me out of it. But decent overall. 7.11: The Crimson Horror Ahhhhhh, I really wanted to like this episode. I really like how it starts with the Doctor and Clara being absent for a while and seeing how the mystery unfolds. I like the Paternoster gang and I really think the villain’s plan is interesting. A religious cult foretelling the apocalypse and building a perfect town for select members. And then causing said apocalypse. But when the Doctor and Clara return it all goes to hell. I hated the Doctor kissing Jenny Flint, that was really out of place. As well as the erection joke, just why. I found the villain extremely cartoonish and not in an enjoyable way. She literally says “Die, you freaks!” towards the end. Also Clara really was not it in this episode. I thought the weird parasite thing was pretty cool though, right level of creepy. And I liked the scarred daughter getting her revenge. But overall a very frustrating episode. 7.12: Nightmare in Silver God, this episode annoyed me so much. I really wanted to like it. It had a really good creepy setting. Good way to bring the Cybermen back. I liked some of the side characters, particularly the emperor in hiding. But God, I hated the kids in this story. They just suck. Super annoying. Really didn’t need to be there. Also I wasn’t into the Doctor/Cybercontroller interactions. There wasn’t enough of a distinction for me to take it seriously. It just felt like Matt Smith talking to himself and trying to sound menacing. 7.13: The Name of the Doctor And we’re at the end of this strange series of Doctor Who! I think this is a pretty solid end. I was sick of Trenzalore being referred to and not making sense but I’m glad we got some clarity on it here. I liked the use of the psychic conference call and the Paternoster gang’s involvement. I thought the Whisper Men were decently creepy. Really liked the idea of the TARDIS’ exterior growing. And I was glad that Clara’s multiple lives were finally explained. And I felt it worked pretty well. And it was a lovely tribute to the series as a whole, seeing her with multiple Doctors. My main quibble is that Jenny was revived really quickly after the Whisper Men killed her?? That was quite frustrating. Overall I didn’t hate this series. But I did see why so many were frustrated by it. There are some decent stories in here but there’s also a whole lot of mess as well.

[isagrimorie]

I am excited that they confirmed what we all thought it was but also kind of disappointed, I hoped it was some other classic villain, but it does make sense that it would be the Doctor’s archenemies. Especially since only one species could strike terror and get under their skin so thoroughly. 

Tim Shaw fancied himself the Doctor’s arch enemy but the truth of it was, he was just an inconvenience to Thirteen. He was personal for Ryan and Graham, but she’s already categorized Tie Shaw as only an annoying enemy who managed to use more powerful beings to further his ends. 

So it made a certain kind of sense that the Doctor wasn’t as spitting mad enough to personally deal with Tim Shaw. He was a nuisance for the Doctor, someone the Doctor can easily rile and put down. 

The New Year’s special though... and noticing on rewatch the fear on Thirteen, and recalling the Jedi’s popular phrase: fear leads to anger, and anger leads to hate. 

This is definitely true of the Doctor’s feelings for the Daleks. 

This is why I also think it could be a proper time to see how Thirteen would deal with the Daleks. Especially in the face of the Doctor’s newly reclaimed pacifism because to quote DS9, it’s easy to be a saint in Paradise. 

It’s easy for the Doctor to preach pacifism when she’s not facing a species she loathes with her entire being. A species that caused countless deaths and a Time War so vast and savage they were forced to participate in it as a soldier. 

The Doctor’s Time War angst and anger was dealt with but her anger for the Daleks remains strong. Twelve may have lived with that hate for so long it’s like an old friend, as long as the Daleks don’t cross paths, he won’t bother them but the hate there’s still ever present and explosive but properly managed. 

Except now the Doctor’s in a new body with a new outlook one where she’s very firmly holding on to the ‘be kind’ ethos they set for themselves. She’s slipped when she’s alone but not enough, is this the episode where we find out who Thirteen is in the dark?

One very interesting thing the Doctor mentioned was that the Dalek’s been slumbering since the dawn of time and either they’re a remnant from the Pandorica or the Dalek itself was a Time War!Dalek. 

IMO Time War!Daleks are a breed all its own and I also feel like the Doctor’s feelings against Time War!Daleks burn hotter than 10,000 supernova stars. 

Hopefully though, this episode will do for the Daleks what series one’s Dalek managed to do: establish the Daleks as menacing. 

Also, this is why I feel like the New Year’s Special is more finale than 11x10.

[thirteenthbidoctor]

Series 11 Review

Okay now that we have the whole series time for a review! 

My favourite episodes of this series have been Rosa, Resolution, The Witchfinders, and the Demons of the Punjab.

Overall, I’ve enjoyed this series, but it hasn’t been amazing. I think as a whole I’d give it a 7/10. They haven’t explored the dimensions of the Doctor’s character and backstory as much as I would have liked, but for me Jodie has done very well in capturing the character, even in moments where the script has let her down. 

I would like to see more of the Doctor’s dark side. I appreciate the fact that she’s following twelve’s advice to run fast and be kind, but a couple of times I feel as though she’s let the bad guy off too easily (Tim Shaw, to name one) and her compassion has been a little less three dimensional. Since the Time War, the Doctor has been struggling with their moral compass, and some of thirteen’s actions haven’t quite rang true for me in light of that. A couple of her more morally dubious actions have been kind of swept under the rug (eg. killing Charlie in the Kerblam factory) in the interest of maintaining her image of being kind and merciful. It’s like she’s trying to keep her ruthlessness from her companions (in Resolution when she insisted on facing the Dalek alone), and I’d love to see that explored a bit more in terms of how the team would react if she did something really morally reprehensible. Having said all that, I really like Jodie’s take on the character. Her expressions, body language, and tone have all captured the character perfectly and she’s doing an amazing job. 

Some of the plots have been done very well, but a number of them have fallen flat. A few started off with a good premise, but their plots fell a bit flat (Kerblam, the Tsuranga Counundrum, and the Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos). The historical ones were generally high quality, and there’ve been bits and pieces I’ve liked and disliked in every episode. While I did start to get annoyed by the super convoluted plot arcs of the Moffat/RTD era, I’ve been a little disappointed by the mostly stand alone plots seen in this series. There have been a couple of decent attempts at character arcs (Ryan and Graham’s relationship + dealing with the loss of Grace), and I liked the treatment of Ryan’s dad- not immediate unconditional forgiveness, but not a complete unwillingness to see his side. 

For me, some of the best bits of this series have been the character driven moments. I teared up when Ryan said Granddad for the first time, and I liked the moments with Yaz’s family were done well. While there’s been some good character moments, I feel like there hasn’t been enough conflict between the characters (or even for individual characters) to promote character development of the sort seen in characters like Amy and even Clara. The conflict seen between the Doctor and past companions fueled character development and growth much more than team TARDIS always agreeing with each other. I liked the scene where the Doctor didn’t want Graham to kill Tim Shaw, as it was almost the only Doctor/companion conflict in the whole series, but it also irritated me because of the Doctor’s hypocrisy. She’s killed far more people, and with less provocation. 

Music. I really loved the music of the last few series, and while there has been some good music this series, I feel like it doesn’t live up to the Murray Gold orchestra. It doesn’t have the same emotional impact without some of the larger than life musical scores (I Am the Doctor) and character motifs (Amy’s Theme, Clara’s Theme). The closest it’s come to that sort of effect this series was the Dalek music (and Ryan’s music in Arachnids in the UK). For me, the lack of dramatic music has definitely been the cause of some emotional scenes falling flat. The Doctor’s impassioned speeches against a backdrop of silence just aren’t the same. 

TL;DR- Series eleven has had its ups and downs, but I am cautiously optimistic for the next season. I hope in the year off, the writers take the audience feedback (both negative and positive) on board before moving forwards with the series.

What are your thoughts? Shoot me an ask, or a message, or respond in the notes of this post!

[theskyexists]

Eve of the Daleks: Mostly didn't like it

Ok I will say this: Chibnall's dialogue is so baaaaaddd, the pacing is so baaaad, the mystery and suspense is instantly broken, the Doctor rallies neveeerrrr or only at the very very very last moment. It's not for me that is to say

But. 'the good hearted weirdos are actually the keepers' and a shot to Dan looking at Yaz to Yaz looking at the Doctor to the Doctor looking at Yaz and noticing and Yaz going 'what??' all defensive

Well she said exactly what I thought: you've not done a good job saving people so far have you? Ya didnt even figure out that it was bc of your reset - Daleks had to talk some exposition about it.

I like how they were like: uh you genocided the war fleet Doctor no excuses.

And then Sara has to actually remind her Nick will DIE if he doesn't survive this time lol (except then later there's no hurry or desperation bc apparently the next go round he'll...be dead we just said but everybodys just going on about the next loop)

Did NICK SERIOUSLY OUT- TACTICALLY-DUCK THE DALEKS????????

don't like that bc the Doctor was just coming to save him heroically. So first the narrative has her talking talking talking but never knowing a single thing just not knowing what the audience already does and she should have known if she really was SMART and then regurgitating what we've already been told. Then the character actually calls her out on being not smart enough to do anything or realise that one of em is gonna die for sure. Then the narrative takes away her ability entirely to save him when she at last decides to do so.

Why. If there's a damn door they can get to now. Would you formulate a long term plan? Why?

Sonic ventriloquism. Why - explain this beforehand. Before you're gonna use it. Why discuss the plan for five whole minutes. This isn't a live DND campaign. This is a SHOW YOU'RE WRITING. IT'S TV. WHY ARE THESE EPISODES SO LONG CHIBS CANT DEAL WITH IT.

Speech. Excuse to speech. Explicitly tell us the thesis statement. I GIVE UP.

What are the stakes? can't u just wait it out? There's Daleks here. Do we need to kill them or is the priority breaking out? Wouldn't it have been better if the Doctor had reverse engineered the Daleks' ability to teleport into the loop? Wouldnt it have been better to bounce their life signs around NOW and make a break for the door NOW? the Daleks wouldn't have known where to go. (There could be other ones down there - that's not a reason bc the Doctor can KNOW whether they are there or not using her sonic. The statement should have been: 'we gotta get to the door' Doctor: 'no, there's more down there'. This is like that shitty heist episode that made me give up on getting back into dw and on the Twelfth Doctor entirely at the time )

Ok that's a good twist.

They DONT win the next one. That's the weird thing about Chibnall. It's like he puts these dysfunctional, annoying, shit-ly executed things in, and then suddenly a quarter of the time the narrative suddenly becomes self aware and says: yeah, isn't the Doctor stupid? And being ineffective and corny? And I'm like.......I don't like that either. Because she's my Doctor and a woman and it doesn't feel like tragedy 80% of the time.

OH GOD. I HAD TO PAUSE OH GOD. OH NO. Why do I feel such dread about this conversation. Oh yeah bc this episode has broken all trust I have in Chibnall again. The problem I have with his dialogue is that it's too natural. Haha. ... It's long-winded, people get confused, they express the mundane and the boring and repeat themselves. Conversations are earnest, and awkward and almost pointless half the time.

The only highlights of this episode so far has been anything to do with Dan and Yaz. Alas most of the episode has been spent on the guest stars and a bit of the Doctor being suddenly powerless against two Daleks.

What would have made sense - what would have made this episode crunchy, is if the Doctor had been the only one to remember the loops. The Doctor and the Daleks. This would have elevated and empowered the Doctor as a matter of the narrative. While the humans run around - getting affected by different circumstances, by the Doctors instructions, and somehow - somehow - at poignant moments - they remember echoes to do things differently. This would have been interesting - to see cause and effect - and it would have been interesting and hit a million times harder, if the humans believed every time that they were dying for real.

OK THAT WAS A GOOD CONVERSATION AND I ACTUALLY JUMPED WHEN THE DALEKS TURNED OUT TO BE BEHIND THEM

WHAT - Dan just says it. Lol.

Yaz copying the Doctors tone.

Did the Doctor forget to bounce their signals. Ah decoy loop. Ah wait the decoy loop is next. That was a bit hard to follow. Probably bc they didn't have any more time to spend on it.

Why didn't Yaz and Dan duck tho. Could have made a point of that no longer working.

Big problem with the stakes is naturally how the Daleks sometimes are hyper accurate and sometimes can't shoot for shit. Also - a tank couldn't blow them up two times ago.

I love Sara's accent so much.

NICE PARALLELING THERE

Ok I quite liked that last bit. Thasmin is canon and it was the best part of the episode, include our guest stars parallel and Dan wingmanning all knowledgeable.

But why does Yaz feel it is so impossible to tell the Doctor. That's what I would have liked to find out this episode. El sigh....

Hey it's train guy!!! Nice.

[the-desolated-quill]

Nightmare In Silver - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Neil Gaiman writing a Cyberman story? What could possibly go wrong?

...

Fucking EVERYTHING!

I... You... Wha... What the hell happened?! This came from the same guy that wrote The Doctor’s Wife, Coraline, The Sandman and American Gods? This piece of shit came from him?... THIS?!?!

Look, the Cybermen are very precious to me. They’re my all time favourite Who baddies due to their timeless themes and limitless potential. Which is why it breaks my heart whenever I see them mistreated like this. I mean... Jesus Christ!

Nightmare In Silver picks up where The Crimson Horror left off with those two kids blackmailing Clara into getting a free ride in the TARDIS (yeah, that didn’t make sense in and of itself. The girl Angie says she’ll tell her dad that Clara is a time traveller, but what are the chances of her dad actually believing her? Come off it!). Normally I despise children (both in real life and in fiction) and this episode very handily reminds me of all the reasons why. God I hate these brats! The little boy (Arty I think his name was) is this big wooden dork and Angie is quite possibly the most spoilt, arrogant, ungrateful little shit I think I’ve ever seen. She’s travelled to another planet in a spaceship that’s bigger on the inside, and what’s her reaction? ‘Oh this is so boooooooring! Oh Clara you’re so stupid! You always spoil everything! I want to go home!’ Oh go fuck yourself, you moaning little bastard! What’s worse is that these kids don’t actually play any sort of role other than needing to be rescued. You know characterisation has gone seriously wrong when their personalities are actually improved by Cyberfication.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about the new Cybermen. While I do prefer the RTD Cybermen in terms of design, these new ones are quite cool. More robotic looking this time around and I’m fascinated by the suggestion that at this point in their history they’re less cyborgs and more biomechanical, converting flesh directly into metal. It’s been a running thing that each new Cyber design in the series represents another advancement in their evolution, and this feels like a very logical leap to me. I also really like the Cybermites. Much prefer them to the Cybermats, which I’ve never liked. What I really don’t like however are the superpowers. My jaw hit the floor when that Cyberman started running at super speed like the Bionic Man, not just because the effect looks like shit and there’s no way Angie would have survived being hit with such speed and velocity, but because it’s a leap too far. Same goes for Cyber body parts detaching and operating by themselves, as well as Cybermen being immune to lasers and upgrading themselves so that they can’t be electrocuted. They’ve effectively become an army of Cyber-Supermans. They can just do anything now. They’re way too overpowered to the point where it all starts to become laughably absurd, and because we no longer know what their limitations are, they become more vague as a threat, and therefore more dull. (Also how come the Cybermen never use their super speed ever again? That ability could have come in useful multiple times).

Actually I tell a lie. They do bring back one limitation from the classic series. It’s... hmph... their weakness against gold.

For those of you who don’t know, in the classic series they introduced the idiotic and nonsensical idea that the Cybermen were vulnerable to gold because it’s a non-corrosive substance that can clog up their breathing apparatus and suffocate them. First of all, since when did Cybermen need to breathe? Second, what does being non-corrosive got to do with clogging up anything? And third, why specifically gold? Couldn’t you clog up their breathing apparatus with something else? Like water for instance? And it just got worse and worse when it developed from gold suffocating them to gold just affecting them in general. Despite being bulletproof, apparently you can kill a Cyberman with golden arrows. Rubbing Adric’s gold badge on the Cyberleader’s chest plate in Earthshock was enough to hinder it, and there was one really low moment in Silver Nemesis where the Cybermen were destroyed by Ace using some gold coins and a slingshot. It’s quite possibly the most embarrassing aspect of Cyber lore and it makes me cringe whenever I think about it, so you can probably imagine my relief when the Cybermen first arrived in New Who back in 2006 and there wasn’t a single mention of gold anywhere.

Now imagine my horror and disappointment when the Doctor is able to briefly incapacitate the Cyber-Planner inside his head by slapping a golden ticket on his face. And somehow Gaiman managed to make it even worse by implying that cleaning fluid can have the same effect. Yes. Cleaning fluid. So the Cybermen are an unstoppable force that will not rest until they’ve hunted you down and converted you, and you should be very afraid of them... unless you’ve got a bottle of Toilet Duck to hand, in which case you’re basically fine.

Yes the Cyber-Planner makes its first appearance since The Invasion way back in the 1960s. It’s no longer a brain inside a giant metal apparatus however. It’s now a Cyber hive mind/network that assimilates other beings into its consciousness, mostly children in order to use their imaginations for military strategies. Until it catches sight of the Doctor that is and tries to assimilate him. Which leads to quite possibly the worst thing about this episode. Mr. Clever. 

The Doctor being cyber-converted could be legitimately frightening, seeing this manic, warm hearted adventurer become a cold, calculating menace. Unfortunately that’s not what we end up getting. Instead we end up getting more of Matt Smith’s goofy bollocks. Mr. Clever (ugh) is just too emotional. He’s not his own character. He’s just the Doctor but evil. What’s even weirder is that the Cyber-Planner talks about how emotions are useless and that everyone is better off without them whilst it’s displaying emotion. It’s really inconsistent. I was astounded by the number of critics at the time praising Matt Smith for his performance because I honestly thought it was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. Watching him yelling and gurning his lines like an insecure pantomime villain was just embarrassing, and it shows a complete lack of understanding of who the Cybermen are (and I don’t just mean the whole emotions thing). As I’ve said numerous times in the past, the Cybermen aren’t evil like the Daleks. They’re altruistic foes. They honestly believe what they’re doing is helping us. That’s what makes them so frightening. By making the Cyber-Planner the default cackling baddie who’s evil just because, it makes the Cybermen less interesting and, as a result, less scary.

Speaking of actors giving bad performances, Jenna Coleman, I know you’ve been lumbered with a really shit character, but can you at least try to deliver your lines in a manner that isn’t smug or smarmy. Every single line has this air of snugness about it, which is irritating in and of itself, but there are occasions where it becomes really inappropriate. There are Cybermen about to breach the comical castle and the kids are in danger, and yet Clara is wandering around without a care in the world. Um Clara, shouldn’t you be panicking? Just a little? And there’s one really shocking moment where one of the soldiers informs her that someone has died, and Clara doesn’t even so much as react. In fact she’s surprisingly glib about the whole thing. I don’t know if it’s bad acting or bad directing. All I know is somebody fucked up. (Also I could have done without the bit at the end where the Doctor describes Clara as a mystery inside an enigma wrapped in a skirt that’s a bit too tight. Just... ew).

Beyond that, there isn’t really a whole lot to discuss. The theme park setting is nice, but we don’t really get to explore much of it. Jason Watkins is always good in everything he’s in, but he’s barely in this before he gets converted and is left to stand silently in the background with the kids. In fact the whole thing feels really rushed and under-developed. The punishment squad could have been interesting to explore, particularly in the context of the setting. It’s 1000 years after the Cyber Wars. The Cybermen have become the equivalent of mythological bogeymen, and now this rag tag group of failures and rejects are about to come face to face with their worst fear. The return of the long thought extinct Cybermen, now more powerful than ever. Think of the drama you could wring out of that. Instead they barely get a look in. They’re just a bunch of nameless redshirts that we don’t give a shit about. Same goes for Porridge. Warrick Davis gives a decent performance, but his character just isn’t very well developed. You could have expanded his character greatly. Given him a whole arc with him coming to terms with the horrible decisions he made in order to end the Cyber Wars (wait. He’s over a 1000 years old? Well I suppose if Liz 10 can survive well past 300 years in The Beast Below, I guess it’s possible) and finally reaccepting his position as Emperor. Instead it just feels like he’s going through the motions. He never actually changes or evolves. He just returns to being Emperor because... the script said so.

Nightmare In Silver is bad. Like Revenge Of The Cybermen/Silver Nemesis bad. The plot is weak, the characters are under-developed, the kids are annoying, the Doctor and Clara are still just as obnoxious as ever, and they completely botch the Cybermen. I pity anyone who tries to write a Cyberman story in the future after this disaster.

[tardispowered]

Doctor Who Book Review: Only Human

Summary

Non-Spoilery Review: Absolute garbage.

Spoilers Below the cut.

To put it simply, this book was a mess. The writing was good in that it flowed well. In that the dialogue was clever and there were times when I laughed. There were moments when it almost reached something profound. Where I thought it would examine something interesting. It never did, but the potential was there. It could have been a lot better. But it’s not the wasted potential that annoys me the most. Not even the skewed characterization of everyone besides Rose. And even she had moments where I had to squint. No. It’s the hateful bits that really got me, written under the name of comedy.

But let’s break this down one thing at a time.

Plot: An absolute mess, especially as it went on. It was easy enough to follow from point A to point B, but there was both too much and too little going on. You had caveman Das who was transported to te modern day and has to stay because …reasons. You had Jack who had to stay with him.

You had Noble Savages Neanderthals where were just as Smart as the Humans but didn’t Lie so you knew they were Good. (Not that you see any more of them beyond the Noble Savage part  save for Das who became ‘civilized’ so it’s all right then) You had the primitive  Humans who will eventually be Evil and Wipe Out all the Neanderthals because that’s humanity for you. Also Rose marries into them…for reasons.

You have the time traveling humans living in this time period with them. Oh and also they have restricted emotions because emotions bad… Oh and one of them is evil and creating the perfect Humans called Hy-Bractor…who just do whatever she says and also eat people. (no comment on how the perfect human is perfectly subservient). You have Quillien who is a time traveler who refuses to express his emotions and is ostensibly the hero of the story…and does fuck all to earn it…

All of this in a little over 200 pages.

You also got a book that tried really hard to be a light and frothy adventure that dipped a bit into the Tim Burton well for no reason whatever near the end. Other than to be…well it’s a cool visual I guess. Chantal opens 9 up and does some surgical stuff. Cool imagery I guess. Nothing really comes of it. Rose is decapitated for a while? Cool imagery I guess. She’s not too too bothered.

And I mean, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a light and frothy adventure.

But it would be even better if it wasn’t A] Mean spirited as hell and B| kept characters in freaking character.

Let’s tackle B first… because whoo boy.

The Doctor

The weirdest thing is that 9 doesn’t sound too different than he should. His voice is in place. His mannerisms are in place. And then he drops words like ‘copping’ (which is UK slang for getting together yeah yeah yeah. Though at least somewhat innocent in that context) and says at one point: ‘tough titty.’

I just

I am still not over that one, frankly.

Tough titty.

Really?

Also his underlying sadness and grief that is very much a part of his character with the beginning is only touched on briefly (and cheaply). Now, I’m not saying that every 9 book has to be a slog in the Marsh of Sad, but the only mention of it is when he gets the Mood Lifter pills and is like: “Yeah my planet blew up and I used to be sad about but I’m not for some reason”

OH GEE. Glad the Time War wasn’t a BIG FREAKING DEAL that severely impacted your personality or anything. Whew!

(also apparently these mood lifters also act as mind control? Which isn’t very well explained and seems to suggest that if you feel good and blasé you’ll automatically listen to what the controller says which…what?)

Also he gooses someone to get a reaction out of them—which is just no. I can’t imagine any Doctor doing that, let alone 9. Especially not in that context.

When Rose gets married to the caveman Tillun…for reasons… and the Doctor takes her away, Tillun tries to attack and 9 basically trips him to the ground and the Doctor says something broadly like: It sucks to be used. Doesn’t it? You’ll get over it. And later Rose says the Doctor enjoyed doing that and it’s implied that he did.

And yeah 9 can be a little bit show-offy when faced with a rival to Rose’s affection. Like with Jack (who was kind of too full of himself) and Adam (who was definitely too full of himself) But aside from attacking 9, Tillun was a pretty ok guy. Rose seemed to like him.

I mean, 9 or hell, even Rose. Why not go out on a limb? Could just talk to him and convince him that they were asking the right thing. Tillun could have gotten more characterization and so could they. It could have been a negotiation and an understanding rather than just violence. But I mean the Doctor is cooler tripping someone to the ground and showing his badassitude.

Also he somehow makes the humans temporarily able to breathe fire to fight back against the newly created Hy-Bractor and nearly wipes out the entire species but isn’t too worried about it. Like obvs 9 has no problem with genocide. Even of a violent species out to kill him. It’s not like Rose convinced him to save a dalek or anything. Also good thing they Hy-Bractors have nothing more complex beyond basic emotions or personalities so we don’t have to feel bad for them dying.

Lucky us. 8|

Rose

I  thought Rose was pretty alright. She was actually the most solidly characterized even if there were parts where I was like ….wut? For instance she found Tillun hot because he was fit (which is understandable) and thought he had kissable floppy hair. I mean… this is a time before basic hygiene. I am not sure that his hair would be all that kissable. Just saying. Oh and for some reason she keeps thinking Quillien is a lech even though he doesn’t do a damn thing to her. But then when she decides to get married to convince the idiots to save themselves, she ends up in the equivalent of a fur bikini (because of course she does) and Quillien gives her a lusty stare (because of course he does) and it’s just kind of brushed aside.

Yeahh…that’s great.

Wonderful.

Just what a 9th Doctor book needs honestly 8|

 Jack

Basically, the story had no idea what to do with Jack and it shows. He’s just packaged off to look after Das, a caveman shunted forward into the present day. And he doesn’t do much but report on what Das is doing. And I mean it isn’t great, but it isn’t horrible—

Well it wasn’t horrible. Until Anna Marie.

Das likes Anna Marie. She’s attractive to him. She’s short and fat and has facial hair and a big nose, and doesn’t laugh much. Oh and her friends call her, and I quote: “Big Fat Anna Marie No Mates.”

Because it’s FUNNY. Because she’s UNATTRACTIVE. Ha ha. The Neanderthal likes the seriously ugly girl. Let’s all laugh at this side-splitting situation.

And that would be bad enough—but Jack is so damn judge-y about it too.

Jack.

Jack.

He would sleep with a yeti if it took him out for coffee and yet oh no god forbid a girl is short and fat and hairy. She’s obviously a Neanderthal. And he keeps shaking his head like how could Das like her. Ew.

But it’s a JOKE. HUMOR. HA HA

Thanks, I hate it 8|

And since we’re segueing into it, when Das said he wanted to marry Anna Marie, her father cried because he thought she’d never find someone not like her stick thin conventionally attractive sister.

It doesn’t matter if Anna Marie finds Das attractive or not. We never find out. But she doesn’t matter as a person. All she matters is as the butt of a joke. But look she’s happy so it’s okay. Only she’s happy because it’s implied no one else will give her the time of day because she’s so ugly. And it’s apparently okay to call her out on it because God Forbid she not be fuckable. It doesn’t matter what her personality is. Doesn’t matter what her hopes and fears are. Her talents and her flaws. Just that she has facial hair and so is basically worthless so she should thank god this Neanderthal came along and wanted her otherwise she’d really be useless.

Also, it was pointed out that her family is Irish. Which, granted I am not from the UK but this feels particularly racist to me.

Because yes, this is the kind of story we want from the 9th Doctor. The Doctor who struggled to cover up depression. Who did the hard thing because he thought it was the right thing. Who cared about people.

More than that, the Doctor that was played by Christopher Eccleston who fought to keep his Manchester Accent. To make the initial run of DW like it was. Rose was a chav. It didn’t matter. The Doctor was rough around the edges and didn’t speak in Received Pronunciation. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was they were who they were. They were worthy of love and respect. Rose didn’t have to be super intelligent to fly with the Doctor. The Doctor didn’t have to sound like he fell from London to be the Doctor. And, more than anything, that is who the 9th Doctor is and should be.

So no. No. There is so much more wrong with this book (like a particularly egregious cult of the Doctor moment) but I am not giving it any more of my time. It’s not in my headcanon. I don’t want it anywhere near me.

I give it half a star for decent writing but beyond that it can die in a fire.