#as a victim of emotional abuse i dont like seeing people getting away with it and being encouraged to continue said abuse!!! i dont!!!

[narcissism-awareness]

i feel like you're kinda downplaying the possibility of pwNPD being abusive. your blog has a "oh it NEVER happens" vibe. im not officially diagnosed, but my psych test did end up showing symptoms of it. however, i do have bipolar, and the reality is that i have hurt people and that my mental illness *was* a factor in it. it didnt exist in a vacuum. especially when i wasnt medicated.

like i dont blame people who see me having BP and wanting to move away and call them ableist for that. my mental illness will forever be a factor in the way i experience world - and im not saying OH I WAS AN AWFUL PERSON TO THESE PEOPLE, but i mean it in a way "my cycles of mania and depression have hurt people dear to me, even though i wasnt directly hurtful to them". they couldnt cope with it or my needs and thats okay.

i feel like youre being rly dismissive of people who were abused by people with personality disorders. i was abused by someone w BPD and their mental illness *was* a factor in it. the same way my BP/OCD/BM/ADHD affected others. its dishonest to pretend NPD exists in a vacuum.

I never claimed that it never happens, just in most cases of people calling abuse "narcissistic abuse," their abuser was actually self centered or egotistical and not diagnosed with NPD. (most cases, not all)

It is not ableist to call out abusers who have NPD, what's ableist is to call an entire mental disorder abusive. Or to blame abuse on a mental disorder.

While sometimes we may unintentionally hurt others due to our symptoms, abuse is a choice. People choose to manipulate, use, degrade, and gaslight others. That's not something that happens as a symptom of a mental disorder.

It is true NPD can make us to have little regard for other people and their emotions, which can cause some unhealthy and unstable relationships. But it does not cause us to systematically abuse others?? Thinking that is ableism.

However I acknowledge how you said my blog can feel dismissive of abuse victims. Obviously, in any scenario abuse is not ok. Victims should be able to get resources to escape and recover from abuse. But ableism is not excusable just because your abuser(s) had a mental disorder.

The goal of this blog is to call out ableism and spread awareness about NPD. My posts are usually very matter-of-fact because of this, which may make me sound dismissive to abuse victims. (Keep in mind I am autistic and narcissistic so it's hard for me to judge how others will receive my tone)

I apologize for this and will try to be more welcoming to abuse victims when I can, but the main goal is still informing people about NPD and debunking ableist stereotypes.

[caluski]

this so-called "pop psychology" is a crazy thing. i think it wont be a surprise to anyone if i admit that for years now i have been working through symptoms that also overlap with covert narcissism (obsession with self-loathing, vulnerability to criticism, desire for attention) and while i generally avoid seeking advice regarding mental health online, in my most vulnerable moments i just cant help it.... and when i look up this particular topic, its especially horrifying how demonized narcissists are.

even when you look up "how to recover AS a narcissist", all the results focus on being a victim of a narcissist. to most people, a narcissist is a monster that you have to get away from, who wont ever love or deserve love, who doesnt deserve help even because they just wont get better. if a narcissist seeks help, it means theyve been misdiagnosed after all, because a real narcissist would NEVER want to change. if a narcissist claims that they have been cured, they are also lying as an attempt to manipulate and abuse people further. any narcissist's existence in your life is equal to them abusing you, of course. you are a narcissist forever, and theres no hope for you.

with my ocd, i think i got already used to people assuming intrusive thoughts really make us abusive and violent....... but never being diagnosed with narcissism, seeing my very flaws that haunt me be treated as The Irrefutable Evil, its horrifying like nothing else. am i really making any progress, or am i only getting better at hiding my monstrosity and manipulating people into thinking im a good person? even if i do heal and move past it, can i ever be sure its gone, or have i just mastered emotional abuse? can i ever be redeemed, can i ever get past it? because internet says that a narcissist should never be trusted.... so do i just live with that forever. your existence is bad in its core. your progress is a lie. your empathy is an illusion. dont get close to another person

[walnutcookie]

you should infodump about misfortune like. now /nf

SIR YES SIR . SALUTES.

im not sure how to tag all of this, doing my best but some of it Might be a little disturbing (with cartoony visuals). if you need it tagged with something specific please ask !!

(reblogs ok !)

misfortune is this silly raven thing . it is the Embodiment of misfortune and misery and feeds off of it, which means it is often causing harm to others for its own benefit

Its like . Ten feet tall or something HVXKDBD it can shrink and grow as it pleases actually (so long as it has enough power). Since it wants to feed off of and make someone miserable, it tries to choose its victims to be the most vulnerable people it can find. people who are isolated and dont have much support mostly, but also people who already have a lot of trauma and people dont know how to manage their emotions very well

Cappuccino was a perfect canidate !

i should give some more info about misfortune before i get into that though ,,, using its host/victims body, its able to cause things to happen (stack of papers getting scattered, bookcases falling over, lighting striking dangerously close, people around them getting hurt/even dying, generally unfortunate events). it tries to make things basically just The worst it possibly can be for the person it inhabits so it can achieve Maximum Misery (which is a tasty snack for it ! ). it can also do fun and silly things like cause its victims to grow bird parts - wings, talons, feathers, a beak, combinations of these things, etc - in a very Painful and grotesque way !! which also causes them to feel miserable! though it doesnt want to kill the host so it always makes these things temporary. additionally it can possess people and control their every move, causing feathers to grow from their skin the longer theyre posessed Which they will have to pluck later. also painful.

^ cappuccino growing wings

also Misfortune does not want its victims to die. if its victims die then that means their suffering is over - it would have to find a new host. So it makes the person suffer as most as possible while also protecting them and keeping them alive

that also includes keeping them from trying to kill themselves

using its previous host/victims body (my oc golden leaf cookie at the moment but that may change), it killed cappuccinos parents. For what reason im uh. not sure yet i still need to figure that out HDBFKH but it was Incredibly gruesome and uh. unfortunately little cappuccino was there to watch !

cappuccino's parents were Not nice people. they were incredibly abusive and neglective. cappuccino is like ,, age 5-10 at this time (another thing to figure out) and while her older sister latte was there she Got scared and ran away leaving cappuccino to fend for himself (latte is still fillwd with so much guilt over that bUT THATS A ramble for another time)

cappuccino is an Already traumatized young kid who just watched her parents die and is now all alone and an orphan . and is now going to watch as this giant bird thing claws through its host, causing them to scream out in pain and bleed out to death on the floor as the bird talks to little cappu !!! in spanish because for some reason me and my gf decided it speaks spanish but hey it works out cause so does cappu!

misfortune then crawls inside cappuccinos mouth. which again. is very painful. And very disturbing especially as a child

cappuccino lives with this thing for like twenty years, vaguely aware of its existence yet still filled with doubt. He knows she has bad luck either way and tends to isolate herself as to not harm others !!! all of the friends he made in school had bad things happen to them so hes become paranoid about getting too close to people. hes basically just accepted that shes not capable of doing good ,,, anything he tries to do just ends up going bad anyways. Which is why hes become a prosecutor !!!! you see Misfortune naturally gives her an advantage since giving innocent people (or anyone for that matter) lengthy sentences and other punishments causes a lot of misery and feeds Misfortune quite nicely ! it doesnt exactly Garuntee cappus win like. she still has to work for it. but he does get an upper hand (unknowingly) as misfortune encourages it. the reason she smokes a lot is because it helps him not feel so anxious and paranoid constantly that bad things will happen to everyone she cares about

theres a lot of habits hes picked up after dealing with this thing for so long. no cars/buses since hes been in FAR too many car crashes. keep pencils/writing tools dull as he tends to accidentally stab herself a lot. dont bother keeping places clean and tidy since theyll become dirty somehow anyways

cappuccino has a vague memory of misfortune. though since it was so long ago and also During a very traumatizing moment his mind has kind of distorted it to be some incomprehensible monster that appears in her nightmares. is it real? is he just imagining all of this? when wings grow from his back, is she hallucinating it? is something causing all of this bad luck, or is he just imagining everything? he cant tell if its real or not . she KNOWS something is wrong because it seems like life itself is determined to keep her from being happy. the thing is misfortune constantly lives inside of her ,, hes never seen misfortune aside from that very fuzzy (and distorted) memory from when he was a child. finally he Cant Take it anymore and just talks out loud to himself, trying to talk to whatever it is keeping him from being happy - again, not knowing if anything is actually there.

But there is !

And she is horrified as it starts to crawl out of his mouth!

theres a sense of relief and reassurance as At least now he knows its not all just his imagination but also. holy fucking shit. its not her imagination.

its all real. the memory from when she was a kid. hes being haunted by this Fucking Thing (which she realizes is a bird and not an incomprehensible monster) and its effectively ruining her life. it speaks to her - he figures out that it feeds off of his misery and that its been doing that for the past 20 years. And she just has to live with that

-

I could go on ,,, theres more to it actually but this post is getting Very long and i want people to Actually read it HXBDKHD

(UPDATE PART 2 HERE)

if you have any questions/comments PLEASE let me know i love talking about this thang !!!

[burning-sol]

im censoring any art i make of "her" and limiting reblogs because i do want to make vent art but i dont want to share a lot of details <- but if i dont share details it might make people feel wrong to later have interacted with any art featuring her at all. and i did make a post abt her in the past but it wasnt my intention to give the wrong impression of her because id genuinely experienced amnesia and couldnt remember the details about her. to be clear she's not real, she's not representative of any person in real life, i would describe her as a mix of my psychosis and what i recently realised describes maladaptive daydreaming.

i have been getting very very paranoid recently so ive been talking to xander and hy said he's going to help my get back in contact with a therapist when it gets the opportunity. i dont know how my behaviour has been perceived at all the past (???) amt of time, but i apologise if its caused confusion or distress.

anyways ill be talking about her under the cut with art but content warning it goes into talks about psychosis and emotional abuse and some transphobia and SA <- the art is evocative of that last thing i put it at the very bottom of the post. there's also talks about grooming..

i do have records of when she was first around but i only really looked at it to see how i drew her as i have a lot of amnesia around her and i dont like looking at old logs of things.. like. the thing is, there's a lot of stuff that happened online or i had uploaded online and i would rather let it remain forgotten rather than drag it back out. maybe its selfish of me but like i seriously dont want to think about the times i might have been groomed or the specifics of anything, i just want it all to go away. so yeah, i forgot about her and forgot about what she said or did because i wanted to forget and it didnt come up so it was whatever.

but there was a time where i was experiencing some different voices, ive had a track record of abusive voices throughout my life (to be clear xander is very different from that, to me it clearly has a wider depth of emotion and thought than these voices and actually has control over the body.. i just feel like i want to make that clear) and she was amongst them though i think she was different in her own way. the main reason i feel so scared of her is that i experienced a sexual hallucination perpetrated by her and i had to search up whether that was even possible because i have not heard anyone bringing it up before. but yes, that happened, and i dont claim to be a victim of sexual assault but it's still painful to think about and im still scared of her.

aside from the i guess "threats" of sexual interaction and recently threatening to leak sexually compromising information and photos of me, she is generally quite demeaning. she talks a lot about how i should just go back into being a complacent girl who does what she wants. she threatens to isolate me. i guess she's also threatened to hurt me physically too. its not real but at times it has felt like i am in literal chains and are at her whims and it makes me feel scared.

i dont know if its clear but there's a lot i dont bring up when it comes to any sexual trauma because i just. i dunno. i dont feel like any of it is worth talking about if im complicit in it, if its in my head, if its just nothing. things ive been involved in are deeply humiliating and hurtful. and of course i cant HELP but bring it up at times, as any person does, but out of everything i dislike talking about this trauma the most. id rather be quiet and not talk about anything and hell, i probably wont keep this post up.

a part of me realises it probably just hurts others that i dont talk to them about things like this. but talking to someone privately abt when im distressed makes me think about my previous toxic behaviours and i dont want to repeat that ever again, so i prefer to just stay quiet.

just typing this has made me exhausted from the emotional drain so ill stop this post here. thanks.

[spaceman---29]

It s telling that, in many conversations, boys feel the need to challenge or mock xxs s emotional honesty. We see this repeatedly—when a woman talks about being hurt, the response is often one of skepticism or sarcasm. "You re just bitter," or "who hurt you?" It s almost as though acknowledging xxs s emotional experiences would force a reckoning with something uncomfortable, something that many would rather ignore. But why is that? So they will have no shame demanding sisterhood when it suits them, cuz according to them, other women and girls do not deserve equal respect or reciprocity. Edit: taking this away because the mras found it and can't handle TIMs not being the center of attention for one fucking minute Ariana Grande has insane hair extensions. Kim Kardashian has had so much plastic surgery looking through the last decades of pictures looks like looking at different people. Any female celebrity walking the red carpet is wearing something no normal woman would ever wear, dresses that are basically see through, or so tight you can't breath. How can we relate to that? We can't see them as relatable or as "real people" because so much is put into making them look like dolls. And I can't help but think that's intentional Because what I'm aiming for is more resources to help impoverished women and girls, victims of trafficking, abused and raped women and girls, etc so that they have the ability to not have to go into prostitution (or other forms of 'sex work') and the ability to safely get out.It s telling that, in many conversations, boys feel the need to challenge or mock xxs s emotional honesty. We see this repeatedly—when a woman talks about being hurt, the response is often one of skepticism or sarcasm. "You re just bitter," or "who hurt you?" It s almost as though acknowledging xxs s emotional experiences would force a reckoning with something uncomfortable, something that many would rather ignore. But why is that? Because what I'm aiming for is more resources to help impoverished women and girls, victims of trafficking, abused and raped women and girls, etc so that they have the ability to not have to go into prostitution (or other forms of 'sex work') and the ability to safely get out. TRA love to pee Go to a scary room, and dont look back.

[friskyqwi]

Discard

The process of removing.

Possible Symptoms:

-Doubt,

"What if I'm wrong in my assertions?"

"Is doing this good for me?"

"Am I the narcissist doing the discard?"

"Am I no longer a good friend?"

-Fear,

"What if they hurt themselves because Im not there?"

"Will I ever make friends?"

"Is it my fault if something were to happen to me if I'm all alone?"

-Shame

"I dont know how to meet new people and specially make connections."

Content: Mental Health Journey

Discard, being discarded or doing the discard. Its never easy, the ripping of your heartstrings for reason in which is left determined by how things are going within the relationship dynamic. Regadless it's painful. Nobody likes to get dumped or feel bad for bumping, it awakens some sense of inadequacy when in the process you have been shamed and left shamed by something. But, its part of it and inevitable to find yourself in that spot, nobody's perfect. Even the narcissist know. Done by friends, family, group, ect, that well you find yourself alone by discard or walking away leaving everyone and everything behind. The avoidant and anxious parts of yourself know this song already, nobody's here forever, not even yourself.

This creates a gap, and empty space between you and them... them being what you considered back then as yours. But that notion collapsed and that's why one takes the steps to reasses your place in the new world of "them and you". Where YOU are the Discarder or Discarded... still banishment happened and what you thought was supporting now is ruin. The things that where built together is ancient history. The hardest part is how this domino effect happens when you are the one who has the problem. Its not simply a problem. The identity of the problem either is you or the thing that keeps happening to you due to lack of something that's not necessarily you. People still influence eachother even after discard. Discard doesn't happen when people grow apart. Growing apart is one thing (works like the season), while Discard is like a disaster struck and salvaging is done.

Left in doubt, thoughts like:

"I'm the person who didn't control her emotions, I'm the person who abused, and hurted people. Im the one who gets what she deserves. Im the one who has to kill herself cause of how vile she was."

... letting go. Of the things they said about me. Letting go of the things I said to myself. Letting go of everything and everyone involved. For years one is left with a rope hanging around one's neck. Waiting for a final veredic and judgement before execution. Guilty until proven innocent. When you are often victim of rumors and misunderstandings. One cant really tell the whole story when they tell you to leave. The worst part is when they want you back or you try to mend something that broke in hopes that probably things will be different.

I realized it will never be. So I discard, everyone and everything... looking as always at a distance and forward into a different horizon. Hoping that the same story doesn't repeat again, but deep inside you know even if you try to be yourself elsewhere I have to get over the fear. That even if it happens... I guess it just happens. I tried everything but... I can't make people change how they see me once their mind is made up... but I am who I am. Im just here, with all my flaws and strengths... nobody likes to be abandoned. But it just happens regardless if you are good, bad, narcissist, highly empathic, etc. It really shouldn't determine who you are to yourself. Just change happens.

[gay-furry-poseidon-lover]

"dont pick and choose" where is this enthusiasm for any other crimes that are blantly stated as happening in the musical?

Epic the Musical isnt meant to be perfectly accurate to the original poems. In Epic, we get "seven years shes kept you trapped out of your control, time can take a heavy toll." And then Calypsos songs from her perspective. They are emotional songs, thats like... what musicals are supposed to do, make you feel stuff. Lots of people dont interpret Epic Calypso as a rapist, because its not explicitly written to send that message.

Are we gonna talk about The Odyssey or are we gonna talk about Epic the musical. They are different. "people like Circe," In the Odyssey, Odysseus did not have a choice to sleep with her. He had to. Its not that people just suddenly dont care that she assaulted him, its that Epic is showing us a different version. And Epic's Calypso is shown differently as well.

"I spent my whole life here, was cast away when i was young, alone for a hundred years, i had no friends but the sky and sun," This is what we get about Epic's Calypso's back story. That is different from versions of the myth where Calypso just goes and lives on an island.

However you feel about her is fine, youre allowed to not like her, to hate her even. But this is a fictional character based on a fictional character in a poem from a very long time ago. These arent real people. Odysseus is not on the internet, hes not reading posts about people analizing Calypsos character in a musical and feeling victim blamed or retraumatized. And if you relate a lot to Odysseus and that makes you hate Calypso thats fine. Not everyone sees her in your same context though, and thats not an attack on you. If this is something that is so distressing to you, block people who post about her, hit not interested, stop engaging with it. Take care of yourself. But you don't get to just decide that nobody can like this character ever, and that if they do they're a bad person who thinks rape is okay.

Works of fiction aren't real. Obviously I think that killing a baby is horrible, whether the gods told you too or not. But I still love Ody. That doesnt mean I dont care if people kill babies. I enjoy Zeus's character and songs even though he forces Odysseus to choose between the life of his crew or his own, which is like definitely immensely traumatizing. Enjoying his part in the musical doesnt mean i think thats good?

A lot of characters from greek myth have raped people. But we have the understand that obviously that is bad and wrong, and we would never be fans or sympathize with abusers in real life. At least I do. I havent seen a bit of discourse about Zeus (one of the most famous aggressors) or about any other gods. People enjoy them freely, and thats generally fine.

Why is Calypso treated so differently. Like i don't think anyone is literally arguing that rape is good and its okay that Homer's Calypso did that, nor are they saying that to any victims in their life. And if they are, obviously thats bad. But people just enjoying this character isn't.

May I just point out that calypso is apologising (no matter how backwards it comes off ) only when Odysseus was finally freed by someone else from her.

And that until then she was still actively pushing Odysseus’ Boundaries??

Lighter mot or no she kept this man against his will for seven years. And she didn’t GROW UP on that island. She had a life before that— that led her to be trapped by the gods.

Like she IS a sympathetic and tragic character but let’s not act like she’s innocent.

“for seven years she kept you against your will”

THIS DAMN LINE. LISTEN. BLOODY LISTEN TO IT ALL. DONT PICK WHAT YOU CHOOSE.

There’s a REASON people don’t have an issue with Circe. Are happy to see her as a FRIEND to Odysseus. CALYPSO IS NOT THE SAME CASE.

[lemontongues]

just saw the ed piskor stuff and i dont have a ton of thoughts on the particular situation (honestly had never heard of him before) but the whole thing does just make me think about like. how much we as a culture desperately need to get better at developing procedures for handling situations where someone did or may have done something terrible, especially when we know they're not likely to face legal repercussions for it.

bc like, if you think about it imprisonment is rly the easy way out on a cultural level, bc the outcome for everyone not directly involved is "the person just Goes Away to a place where someone else is responsible for feeding and clothing and housing them and none of the rest of us have to grapple with the fact that theyre still actually a person who is going to keep on existing no matter how much we dont like it." but in a lot of these cases where its issues of sexual harrassment or emotional abuse or whatnot that are traumatizing to the victims but arent likely to even go to court, much less result in any jail time, like.... asserting that the morally right thing to do is to completely exile this person from society and that anyone who continues to support them is equally monstrous is just. not a functional strategy.

its the same reason why the aclu advocates for the rights of sex offenders yknow, like. actually creating groups of highly ostracized ppl with ruined lives doesnt help anyone? it makes it harder on victims who want to come forward (both because of the guilt some will feel over bringing those consequences down on their abuser and because everyone knows the kind of vicious backlash the victims will get from defenders of the accused), it breeds the awful public litigating of ppl's lives that we see every time allegations come out and everyone and their mother has to jump in and make sure the internet knows they have the Right Opinions on this situation that in no way shape or form involves them, and it can result in situations like piskor's, which is just a lose-lose all around.

like there absolutely should be consequences but a) imo we really gotta focus more resources on actually caring for and supporting victims than on punishing the accused anyway and b) a scorched-earth approach doesnt help anything and there needs to be more thought and nuance to the consequences than "we're kicking you out of society and anyone who doesnt immediately sever all ties with you should be ostracized too". sometimes ppl should lose their jobs if their jobs gave them structural power over the ppl they abused, sometimes maybe its not necessary. they're inevitably going to lose a lot of people in their lives when allegations come up because a lot of ppl will just find it repulsive to be around someone they think may have abused others, but maybe their friends shouldn't all have to immediately cut ties or risk being seen as guilty by association. etc etc. it just sets everyone up for a lot of additional suffering and trauma and i dont know what the right solutions are, but man i would rly love to start seeing more conversation around actual best practices and mitigating the gut-reaction lashing out from uninvolved parties on both sides

[kendylouwhoo]

As I turn inward and practice what I preach, I look at all the ways I've blocked out energies and what they have to teach. I never have had an issue "finding good men" most people want to be good. Finding a man who cares, has emotions and is physically there. I feel gross, how we put people in boxes, so I ask myself where that happening for me and it becomes clearer and clearer to see. Some have felt more hurt by the masculine energy. Not me, I realize, the grudges I hold, where I turn away and pretend it's not there, the pain I've felt that I want to pretend doesn't exist. I haven't had an issue finding a man... yet where are all my sisters? The friends I've had, the ones who were there, they too coped by being more masculine. It felt safer having that energy in a world such as this, but this is not how I find my bliss. I've blocked out the feminine because it hurt so bad. The hidden secrets, the lies the telling me I'm mad. I'm not sad I'm not doing it right, get out of my sight. The subtle manipulation. Telling me it's not them it's me. Pointing the finger at me, like I'm the only bad power that be. The hidden competition, you pretend doesn't exist. The cages everyone pretends aren't real. Yeah the feminine controls too and then hide it from you. The feminine never disappeared, wheather is was regresses and repressed, it just got really good at hiding. It controlled from behind the curtain and played the victim, stood there lying. It said your crazy, I'm not the problem. Look what you've done to me look how you have hurt me, look at you not me. Look how mean you've been look how selfish you are look how much I've done and you've done nothing. Look over there so I can enforce my hidden agenda. Put pressure on you and use you to keep playing out my abusive story...

And I see it now so blunt and so clearly. The walls I've put up have been around me. Locking away my own key, my feminine parts, not all, but the ones I deem unworthy. Oh and the guys, it's not them the narcissistic men I've felt hate, though I have used that word to try and seal their fate. It's not the masculine that's physically hurt me that I can't forgive. Or the ones who pushed and pushed until I gave in. Or the one that yelled until I numbed out... ok yes of course I've felt that hate but it was easier to heal within, because I can see it. I can see the hurt. It's the hurt I can't see that's been much harder to heal for me. How can you heal, when you've been gaslite into not believing it's even real? Your mind starts playing tricks and telling you lies, when before you could see the veil, now you also see a disguise. What ones real and what ones not?

And there it is. The anger boiling up. You lied to me you kept your love at bay. You were so scared to be wrong or bad so you made me your place to lay. Lay all your trash. The things you don't want to see. The things you don't want to do, someone else's problem, not you. Fuck I'm so mad... damn. I'm so hurt. Why did I let this happen... because it was me that didn't want to see. I didnt want to see all the things others denied. I didnt want to see all the things where people lied. Because when you see all the things people dont want to see, they dont hate themselves they hate me... at least thats been my story. Blocking these parts out from me, because they hurt me the most. The parts where you go crazy and call in the ghost. The ghosts that whisper in your ear you're wrong, you're bad and don't be queer. Don't listen to your truth, listen to my expectations instead. Fuck, that's what I blocked out, the feminine energy, all the dread. The narcissist that hides behind a wall of manipulation. The one who seduces you only to take what they want from you. I see it now clearly. Talking behind your back to make people more leary. Stay away from that person, don't get too close. Hiding the hurt they cause, so you can't have the most. I've kept women at bay, because I'm fucking scared of them ok! Feminine narcissism is so hard to spot. It's so hidden and and covered by giving. If I give of myself then no one will see that the giving isn't giving its a trap set up by me. To catch the fly. Oh my! I once was told, "I love you like a spider loves a fly" and now I see why... why I've blocked you out. Why I don't feel safe around you. Why I've made a Hartwell so no one else including myself can get in. I'm not blocking out the men. I'm blocking out the women, like me. A story in my mind, women are scary. Don't get too closer or they'll chop off your arm and before any one can see they will sew it back on and say the scars are because I did it to me. Damn. These stories. This fear of the feminine. I realize it's not just men who have hurt women, but all along, the feminine never lost their power. The story that men supressed women, I'm not sure it's all true... Regardless, I'm ready to write an new narrative, what about you?

Ok lets not jump to the new story yet. Dont bypass thinking we can just forget. Lets bring on the pain lets bring on the sorrow. I don't want to block you out any more, I want to look and see. How have I been what I say they all be? You know why I think people don't admit they are wrong? Because it fucking hurts. Hurtting others hurts yourself. The saying you can't hurt someone else with out hurtting yourself, I mean literally if you're not cut off from emotion, hurtting others feels like drowning in the ocean. You can feel the hurt you've caused and you can also feel the torment of how could I have done it. I never wanted to hurt anybody. And now I feel their pain and mine, yup I feel the torment. This is what taking responsibility feels like when you've crossed the line. And the clear it becomes, when you blame you are hidden. Hiding from how you've also hurt another person. If you judge someone else, it's surly in you. No matter how much you hide it no matter what you want to see, the only way through this is to feel, feel me feel them and love all of thee.

Ok I'm ready. I want to take down the walls. I want to see what I tried not to see. I'm ready to feel the hurt and pain and find the real me. I want to forgive the men, stop the stories I make of them. Realizing that what I blocked in those men were actually their feminine. I want to open to the beautiful flowers I feel all around. Bloom into the fullest, from head connected to the cosmos and all the way into the ground. Pachamama teach me how to share my healthy feminine. Father cosmos train me how to stay balanced. Spiral within me dancing, twirling and whirling like strands of DNA. Father, mother and me makes three. I want to be free and I realize that freedom is seeing all the traps I've set for me.

[maurenislife]

Ive had so many near death experiences that im numb, so living out everyday becomes very surreal like am i even supposed to be on this timeline? That nigga coulda took my life away….. and i wish he did cause now my existence is merely fixture and very much a joke cause im 99% guaranteed to make to tomorrow so people rag on me all day, make me feel inadequate and insecure and feel alone FOR WHAT? I WISH THAT NIGGA BLEW MY HEAD OFF for a infinite rest.

When you live against social norms your gonna be the brute of scrutiny and negativity yet everybody’s copying u and asking you for advice and money and status and up ur asshole but yet slicing it apart with a butcher knife.

Im a INFINITE BUFFET of culture,thought and prowess.

Im smart, im beautiful, im funny, im memorable.

Ive had to echoed to me throughout that im someone of value, how come it dont feel like it. How come it feel like im waking up to put lipstick on a trashcan 💔 like im washing a used car in the shower.

If i didnt have my job like my coworkers dude or my grandma idk what id do fr

Those two things keeping me here, i love my coworkers they are so nice to me like i never had people cook for me or ask me how i am or give me hugs like or care about my family life yanno.

Also idkkk ive been told I played victim my whole life. Whole time i am. Im a victim of sexual assault of emotional abuse and a constant victim of being shown no compassion no empathy nobody.

Its like a arena of people watching you get beat on, with a bloody nose and tears in your eyes, and theres a podium for speakers

“Your playing victim” as somebody watches u get raped at a party ….. yeah that type of shit

U think u can hurt me my mom has paid her dividends in full my baby 😪

Then it be ya friends

Then it be ya nigga who u lay next to

Its like who gone turn against me now?

It make it so i dont want no friends, i dont want a nigga, i dont wanna raise my own family. I dont have a goal or a lifetime achievement i wanna reach, i dont wanna go anywhere fr why plan vacations… why do anything. If there is a consequence leaning around the corner

You hurt and hurt and hurt and nobody kinda cares. It’s hurtful the pple who know u the least want u around, like wow i play a insignificant role in your life u want me alive idkkk that shit weird as fuck. I see why pple just idk they like this life shit backwards fr

[fallen--starlight]

hi tumblr user if-you-soul i need to preface this by saying i was actually discussing the god awful mischaracterization this fandom inflicts on HMS with my besties & opened tumblr to look for your reblog of that soul fanart saying "YOU fell for the character's facade that was meant to be dismantled by the viewer!" & got hit w this & it MADE MY DAY. i fucking love this album to death & im a soul fictionkin so these things drive me up a fucking wall

cccc is pretty straightforward while also being purposefully vague & left up to interpretation in many areas but soooo many people take interpretation to twisting the narrative until its no longer what it was & it makes me ask myself did we listen to same tracks here?? where are yall getting these things from???? this got rly fucking long so im adding a cut here voilá

when people talk abt the mischaracterization in the fandom its usually focused on heart & mind so im INSANELY glad to see someone talk abt the soul shit. cause what kinda crack are people on?? he never threatens to harm h&m except for at the end of TSE where he is... having a mental breakdown? have people forgotten what it's like to have a breakdown??? you say shit you dont mean bc you're splitting at the seams & falling apart. there is no point in the entire album where soul is portrayed as manipulative/entitled/evil/violent/abusive/erratic, which are descriptions a surprisingly large amt of ppl seem to subscribe to? HE'S A VICTIM !!!! & im so glad you said it! i too have been in a kind of middleman position to parties fighting with each other & its insanely detrimental to one's mental health & had me at an incredibly low point so yeah TSE feels deeply personal to me & soul's character in general (waves in soul kin again LMAO), drives me bonkers how ppl describe him.

mind WISHES he was unfeeling. heart calling him an automaton freak doesnt mean he doesnt feel! it means that he just PUSHES AWAY & REPRESSES EMOTION, or at least tries to. like one has to really emphasize that everything between the heart acoustic & the soul eclectic has mind clearly displaying rage & bitterness & all kinds of emotions. even the end of TME says "maybe my existence might be by design, a simple fact that he'll refuse to see" like bro says its a maybe & then immediately claims its a fact yall are falling for his facade so hardcore its not even funny atp. the way people treat heart is borderline gross, he is NOT an uwu baby innocent boy that doesnt know anything & ppl infantilize him so much idek why. heart represents emotion- ALL emotions. & you're right! emotions are so fucking draining & exhausting at times, especially if you're mentally ill! all this weird portrayal of evil mind & innocent heart is so ?? can i quote TSE with neither is wrong yet neither is right. all 3 of them are neither good nor evil. they're people. they're human. the album really emphasizes this a lot.

the juno incident & RoE in general is made to be a much bigger deal by the fandom that it really is. applies to more than one thing in cccc but RoE takes the cake tbh. & yeah! whole is an entirely fanon thing lololol like im pretty fucking sure even chonny jash has said this someway or another. what we call whole is literally just...chonny. i think ppl took dream's "when harmonia shines, atlas beholds her" & RAN. & honestly i like whole hcs but this brings me to another thing: i really feel like cccc fans come up with so many hcs & interpretations for the album that they forget what the canon is in favor of their fanon. there's so much shock gore & gore in general for lowkey no reason in here </3 its so much & for what. fanon is awesome like everyone should be free to do whatever but i do wish ppl would Remember Canon a bit more & separate their hcs from it more. along with the gore. where are yall getting all this insane amount of gore & violence from. i feel like any violence alluded to in the album is more metaphorical than it is physical bc emotions can be felt violently. internal violence. the album is abt the never ending cycle of mental illness getting better & then getting bad again & so forth as a natural part of life & accepting yourself in those moments.

tl;dr u r so correct & i couldnt agree more & you've voiced the way i've felt abt this fandom for ages we lost the fucking plot & kept running anyways lets pause & find it again thank you so much for sharing ur yapsesh with us

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[the-debunk-anon]

I’m so disgusted right now

I didn’t take this shit seriously because I’ve seen Bones do this stuff for years but when their father actually made that post on his Instagram I was worried - I stepped away from this blog for a few days because I needed to step away from the action directly for the sake of my mental health, though I had a trusted friend keep me informed of any major details (case in point)

I hope those server mods are ashamed. They might not be the ones faking the suicide, but they’re enabling and reinforcing it, which is just as bad. YOU! ARE! NOT! HELPING! YOUR! FRIEND! BY! ENCOURAGING! BAD! BEHAVIOR!

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I know personally as someone who was in my mid-late teens when I watched su, it really mattered to me to get to see a show that said parent figures aren't just right because they said so, and you DO deserve an apology when they hurt you, but one that also had the nuance to show that while you deserve reconciliation and apologies for being hurt by them, they also act with their own reasons and not usually out of a callous disregard for you. Like yes it obviously doesn't flat apply to full on abusive parents, but to parents who were neglectful without really meaning to be or being unable to do anything about it (like, parents who needed to always be at work or who couldn't be there for you) it's actually very relatable and well calculated. Ngl I think some people just dont know what to do with media they don't directly relate to or immediately understand. I did also see a lot of su criticals who tried to claim the show was about forgiving abusers for this exact reason, but I think you only really get that interpretation out of it if you think all media should be about you specifically

In all honesty, the diamonds really did show three different types of parents who are incredibly toxic and damaging to their children without meaning to hurt them.

Yellow is a workaholic, and holds a very strict no-nonsense attitude. She didn’t make time for Pink or treat her problems as legitimate until it was too late, but she did still very clearly care about her. She didn’t let her emotions show to anyone, least of all to herself because she saw them as an obstacle to what needed to be done.

Blue is her polar opposite, she suffered greatly from a loss and (in this case, correctly) blamed herself for every part of it while never actually processing or overcoming her grief. By not taking care of herself, she lashes out at others and cannot move forward. Before Pink was shattered, Blue was indignant, disdainful, and quick to take out frustrations on Pink when she felt “embarrassed” by her not conforming to their expectations.

White was condescending and more dismissive than the other two. Quick to belittle and intimidate to get her way. She loved Pink, yes, but more in the way one might love a nice coat. She was a perfectionist and projected that need to be right and perfect (literally) on every other gem, the other diamonds most of all as they are implied to be of her own creation. Her ego and inability to accept being wrong (or by extension, those she created doing what she decides is wrong) cause her to force Pink to fall into a role that she was never really suited to. She saw Pink as one of her greatest failures and something she needed to either fix or hide away.

All three of them together formed a very deeply toxic and emotionally abusive relationship towards each other and to Pink most of all. A few people take issue with Steven “forgiving” them as they misconstrue it as a victim forgiving abusers, but at the end of the day Steven is not nor was he ever Pink Diamond. He was mistaken for her and felt some of what she experienced because of that, but he was not a long-term victim the way Pink was, in a lot of ways he was an outsider who had context of the situation and wanted to step in to keep them from hurting anyone else.

More to the point, he doesn’t forgive any of them. He calls them out on their toxic behavior and tries to get the point across to each of them that the way they’ve been living isn’t healthy for anyone, and is actively traumatic not only to them but for everyone they hold power over. The end of the series sees him teaching them how to atone for some of what they’ve done and to help others heal, but he doesn’t stay with them, nor does he invite them to stay on earth despite extending that offer to just about every other gem he encountered. It’s established in the movie that he almost never visits any of them outside of his activism and subtly making sure they aren’t regressing into dangerous people again. In the epilogue series he is shown to be (rightfully) distrustful of Blue and Yellow as well as being openly afraid of White. He helped them feel closure for Pink and repaired the relationship the three of them had, and that was it. Even if he had been in that abusive environment for as long as Pink was, that isn’t an unreasonable response. Some victims of (unintentional!) emotional abuse do find catharsis in confronting their abuser once safely out of that situation and expressing the way that behavior harmed them. Some victims genuinely do want their abusers to become better and healthier people when the abusive traits stem from their own trauma or lack of emotional intelligence. There are other victims in the show who completely sever ties with their abusers and never interact with them again, so this wasn’t trying to push a narrative that victims MUST do that, it was giving people language and strategies to approach these conversations if that is something they want to attempt.

This was another of my famous rambles, but I suppose in conclusion I would say: whether SU crits liked it or not, the final arc of Steven Universe was absolutely helpful to people in toxic home environments. It also served as an allegory for queer children not being accepted by their parents for who they are, and how changing your perspective as a parent and accepting your child is legitimately a healthier option for everyone because to do otherwise just ensures you will lose them in every way that matters.

There’s just a lot of important takeaways from that arc, especially for children. I’m incredibly tired of seeing grown adults whining about it because they chose to take it literally. Well done on missing the point of a show for middle schoolers I suppose, but idk if you really just want to see all villains get killed for their villainy just go watch Breaking Bad or the lion king or something. There are plenty of shows where violence is the answer, there’s not any real point getting furious over one of the few that don’t use that as the ultimate conclusion.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[devilith]

hey @venusianenvy did u know that LOADS of people who ship incest ships and create art/fics about fictional incest are actually irl incest abuse survivors? do you understand even the most basic, simplistic definition of "cope/vent art" or catharsis? but even if thats not the case, you better get comfortable with the fact that incest has been depicted in fiction and human culture for tens of thousands of years (looking at the greek gods, for starters) and some of the most mega-popular mainstream series in the history of media are full of incest (ever heard of game of thrones?)

the fact is, abuse victims are allowed to be uncomfortable at ship art of some fictional anime siblings. no ones telling them they arent allowed to be squicked out or whatever. but its THEIR responsibility to click away if they see it, block the tags, and/or block the artist. it is NOT the right of ANY victim to police and control the artistic expression of other people, sorry. i know for a FACT that you arent going around and screaming "BUT WHAT ABOUT VICTIMS OF VIOLENT CRIME OR MURDER?" on every post about hannibal or horror movies. if something triggers you, its YOUR responsibility to manage your emotional reaction. this is literally the first thing youll learn from any therapist. your triggers are up to you to manage, no one else. i bet you arent sending your hilariously wrong, bad faith performative outrage to george rr martin or stephen king, right? i promise their books have been read by 10000000000x more people than some niche anime fanfic on ao3

this attitude is the same kind of bullshit that christian bigots pull whenever they demand that queer books and queer shows be banned because "it will ruin the brains of our pure innocent children" lmfao. if you dont want to see it, dont fucking look at it. block the artist and move on with your life like a normal person

@radfemsiren thats because radfem ideology is rooted in the same exact fundamentalist, puritan conservatism as actual literal fascism. radfems literally expouse the same exact garbage rhetoric and moral panic as the pro-censorship far-right. read literally anything about the history of art censorship in fascism and the nazi party and youll see exactly where radfems are religiously parroting the same exact puritan ideals. theres a reason why so many white supremecists and nazis always show up at radfem public gatherings, and theres a reason why those nazis are welcomed among radfems with open arms. when every single public gathering/protest embraces the nazis who turn up to support you, you should ask yourself why that is

@blind-seeing fandoms are dying for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the hostile and aggressively puritan environment people are desperately trying to turn it into. when every single attempt at artistic expression, whether it be through fic or art, is stamped down by performative moral outrage and artists are constantly harrassed, attacked, threatened, and suicide baited by terminally online puriteens, do you really wonder why nobody wants to make art or fics any more? do you really wonder why nobody wants to engage with fan communities or talk about the things they like, when everyone knows that an army of wannabe cops are foaming at the mouth waiting for the chance to jump on anyone who likes drawing two fictional cartoon characters the "wrong way"?

hey do you guys remember when like. brother/brother and sister/sister and brother/sister ships werent just normal, they were really common? parent/child ships werent as widespread as sibling ships but you still saw both of them a lot. like you used to see incest ships all the fucking time.

like you couldnt go five minutes on this hellsite without scrolling past wincest or thorki or any number of the dozens of popular hp incest ships. do people not remember the onecest takeover? the onecest dynasty? what about elsanna? what about all the fontcest that came out of the undertale fandom? mha fans loved shipping the entire todoroki family together. what about game of thrones just in general? the hitachiin twincest? literally everyone from osomatsu-san? usuk and all the other incest ships from hetalia? fucking HOMESTUCK?

it used to be that you couldnt throw a rock in ANY fandom without hitting a whole bunch of super popular incest ships. it was everywhere. it was NORMAL. because people didnt care about what anyone else liked in fiction, because everyone knew the difference between fantasy and reality. and its not like incest hasnt been one of the most popular porn categories all over the world for years.

now though, with the huge resurgence of evangelical puritanism in western fandom and the massive influx of alt-right christofascist antishippers, nothing is allowed to just be fiction any more. braindead little conservative assholes and bigots will scream and shit themselves over people shipping the elric brothers because fandom isnt allowed to be fun any more. antis will see someone talking about sebaciel and start spewing their disgusting rhetoric at everyone and being TERFS and wannabe cops until nobody wants to participate in fandom any more.

fandoms are dying and its antis fault

[bookofmirth]

frankly i dont understand that anon about cassian. because he absolutely defends nesta multiple times throughout the book. and apologizes for the 'everyone hates you' comment. he tells rhys off for being an asshole to nesta several times, he says that nesta has the right to know about her made weapons. ill agree on the lake scene. but i really dislike the take of 'cassian is borderline abusive to nesta because he snaps at her for saying intentionally nasty things' . when she says those things to be cruel, knowing that theyll get under his skin.

im not saying that nesta is always at fault because she definitely is not. but again its this weird thing where nesta is always the victim to some

I did lie a little bit in my last post, yes I am team female characters but Cassian and Lucien are honorary members of that team. Okay and Helion. But that’s it.

I think the intention is a big reason why people do or don’t like Nesta. Yes Nesta had trauma and mental health issues but there are a lot of times when she is very intentionally saying things that hurt people. She’s not just rude, she’s cruel. And this isn’t just acotar, this continues through acosf. Like you said, she’s not just pushing buttons, Nesta is like gleefully doing an emotional keysmash. Okay maybe not gleefully because we do see that she’s conscious of what she’s doing and doesn’t necessarily want to react that way.

I’m gonna be completely frank here - I would intensely dislike Nesta if I were to meet her irl because I don’t ever see a need for cruelty. She’d say something to push me away and I’d be like “ok bye then!” I know this will make people side eye me, maybe more than my post blasting the fandom earlier today, but it’s just how I feel!

I don’t really have a point here in responding to you 😅 I guess I try to understand everyone’s opinion of the characters. And it’s been a while since I read acosf, like I said in my last post, so I should reread before getting more into thoughts on nessian in that book.

A few more thoughts, there is a reason it took me three weeks to reply to that ask - when I first read it I really violently disagreed but I wanted to be fair to the anon so I waited. @symphonyofbleedingshadows can verify this 😂 I also don’t think that, much like the Archeron sisters, there needs to be a contest between the characters? Like who is more right than whom? Their relationship is complicated, honestly it’s probably more complicated than feysand’s is. I see a lot of conflict in their future and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is. As someone who has been in a long (long) term relationship, if fights were always about winning then the relationship would have gone nowhere fast.