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myforeverforlife · 4 years ago

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the way to your heart.

For another anon! Chanyeol and 62. "You're not as quiet as you think you are." + 103. "Sharing is caring." (I hope you like it! 💕)

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Word Count: 3,374

Masterlist

You watched with bated breath as your coworker, Minkyung, finished filling the newest batch of cream puffs. The bakery kitchen was warm from the ovens, but you didn't mind — not when fresh desserts were close by.

"Oh my god, you're so good at this," you praised. Just as you tried to pick up one of the round puffs, Minkyung reached out to swat your hand away.

"Don't even think about it. You want one, you have to pay. Being part of the staff doesn't mean you get to eat everything."

"Auntie won't mind," you wheedled. "And it's just one teeny, tiny cream puff."

Minkyung sighed, eyes roaming over each bit of pastry as she tried to figure out which was the least fit to be sold. "Here," she finally said, picking up a slightly-lopsided puff and holding it out to you.

You popped it into your mouth eagerly, humming blissfully as a burst of strawberry-flavored cream exploded in your mouth. "These are amazing!"

"Good." Minkyung sent you an appreciative smile. "I'm going to finish decorating, then you can take these out to the front."

At that moment, you heard the sound of the bakery door opening. The customer went the extra lengths to ring the bell on the counter, two sharp dings echoing in the air.

Sneaking a quick look at the clock, you rolled your eyes with a smile. "Coming!"

You pushed the kitchen door open, wiping your hands on your apron. "You know, you don't have to ring the bell every time."

The man at the counter grinned, leaning forward on his arms. "Sorry, was I too loud? I tried to do it gently, I swear."

"You're not as quiet as you think you are, Chanyeol. Sehun didn't come with you today?"

Chanyeol frowned at this. "Hey, what about me?"

"You always come here after your last class, Yeol. Plus, your mom owns the place, why wouldn't you come here? I rarely see Sehun, though." You copied Chanyeol, leaning on the counter as well. "How is he doing?"

"He's okay. How have your classes been?" he asked, eager to shift the conversation away from his best friend.

You shrugged. "The usual. I still hate the fact that I have to take Stats."

Chanyeol smiled sympathetically. "That sucks, sorry about that." He hadn't taken a math class since high school, which brought him no end of relief. As a student at K-ARTS, Chanyeol only had to worry about music. "What about your history class?"

You perked up at this, a glimmer coming to your eyes. "Oh my god, it's amazing. We started learning about Japanese feudalism this week, and there's so much to cover."

As you launched into what you had learned, Chanyeol couldn't help but chuckle at your enthusiasm. He wondered if this was what he looked like whenever he was talking about music, or writing and composing songs with Sehun. You and Chanyeol were in two completely different majors, and at different colleges, nonetheless. If it wasn't for this bakery, you probably would have never met.

"Sorry," Chanyeol heard you say. "Am I boring you?" He glanced up to see you rubbing the back of your neck in embarrassment.

"No!" he shouted, cringing when you flinched. "No," he tried again, at a normal volume this time. "Sorry, I think I'm just tired from classes."

Thankfully, you bought the lie, eyes softening in sympathy. "Stop staying up late and gaming online. Sehun always tells me you guys play League for hours when you should be sleeping instead!"

Sehun, again? Every time you mentioned his best friend, the envious green-eyed monster hiding deep inside Chanyeol tried to climb out. It was a juvenile emotion, yet like with every other emotion, Chanyeol felt it strongly. You didn't even think of Sehun in a romantic way, and Chanyeol knew that Sehun fet the same way.

His mind knew better, but why wouldn't his heart listen?

The front door opened, a familiar permed figure entering the bakery. "What are you doing here?" the woman asked, addressing Chanyeol as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Hi, Mom. Just keeping Y/N company."

"Hi, Auntie." You waved at Chanyeol's mother. "I didn't know you were coming in today?"

"Yoonha called out sick, and I know that the neighborhood kids usually come here after school. I didn't want to leave you here by yourself," Chanyeol's mom said. She let herself in behind the register, searching for a clean apron.

"You didn't have to," you said. "I can stay longer, if you need me to."

She waved this off, tying the laces of her apron around her waist. "Don't trouble yourself. You're a college student, you need all the rest you can get. Dowon will be coming in half an hour earlier anyways, so we'll be okay." Chanyeol's mom left for the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind her.

"What time do you finish today?" Chanyeol asked.

You glanced down at your watch. "I'm off in an hour, but I have to run by the store for some more pens." A few wrinkles appeared on your forehead as you frowned. "I've used up almost all of my favorite pens with note-taking, and the others just aren't the same."

Chanyeol grinned, amused by how particular you were with your stationary. "You wanna grab something to eat with me after? There's a really good pizza place that I've been hearing about."

"Do they have chicken wings, too?"

"And cheeseballs," Chanyeol added.

"Count me in! You don't mind stopping by the stationary store with me, though?"

"Of course not, I love hanging out with you." Chanyeol froze, surprised by his own boldness. But you didn't seem to notice, beaming brightly.

"You're sweet, Yeol. Now I can't wait for my shift to end! Are you gonna wait here?"

"Yeah, I'll get some homework done. I brought my guitar too, I was gonna see if Mom could take it home for me." Chanyeol reached down, picking up his guitar case from where it had been hiding out of sight on the other side of the counter.

"I'll make sure to bring you some snacks while you're waiting then."

At the mention of snacks, Chanyeol began looking over all of the pastries and cakes in the display cases, round eyes wide as he looked for the perfect, sugary after-school sweet.

The students in the neighborhood began to flock over to the bakery as school let out, children of all ages coming in to make the most of their free time. Most of the customers were high school students, groups of friends giggling over inside jokes, and the occasional couple out on a date. Other students came with their parents, as a special treat for a good grade on a test, or just to spend some time bonding together. It always warmed your heart to see how happy the bakery made these customers. Some of them came often, and you easily greeted them by name whenever they stopped by. The customers were just as happy to see you, always glad to see a familiar face.

As much as they loved you, there was no denying that the neighborhood had a special spot for Chanyeol's mother. She was a social butterfly, much like her son, and was able to recall even the most specific of details about her customers. She came out to the front to help you as things got busier, seamlessly taking on tasks at the counter with you or going to help Minkyung behind the scenes.

Every so often, your gaze wandered over to where Chanyeol sat in his corner, guitar propped up on his knees as he worked. Although there was music playing in the bakery, you could still hear the strumming of his guitar as he played with ease. Soon enough, you weren't the only one who was paying attention to him.

Chanyeol strummed away at his guitar, pick in his mouth as his foot tapped against the floor. You recognized the chords of a Crush song, something he often played whenever he was in a good mood. As he finished playing, a few of the customers began clapping. Chanyeol's head shot up in surprise, almost identical to a meerkat.

You joined in the applause, smiling proudly when Chanyeol looked over to you.

His large ears started to turn red at the tips, a bashful grin appearing on his face. "Thank you," he said shyly.

"Do you take requests?" one boy asked, moving around in his chair to face Chanyeol.

"I can try."

You watched in awe from the counter as Chanyeol took on song requests from a variety of genres. Most of them were pop songs, others more R&B or alternative. But with each request, Chanyeol managed to play them almost perfectly, only hitting a few snags a couple of times. You knew that Chanyeol was musically talented, but not to this extent. The customers were just as transfixed, many of them staying longer than they usually did. No one was able to resist being drawn in by Chanyeol's aura, by his friendliness and cheerful attitude.

Before you knew it, your other coworker came in. You couldn't believe how much time had passed, but you were also glad that your shift was over.

Chanyeol noticed how you took your apron off, heading to the back as you got your things ready to leave. He finished the song he was playing with a flourish, smiling at the student who had requested it.

"It's time for me to head out," he said, much to the disappointment of some of the students.

"Will you come play for us again?" one of them asked.

"Definitely! I'll keep practicing until then." Chanyeol winked, packing up his things and going to the kitchen. He ran into his mother as he opened the door, barely avoiding bumping into her.

"Are you leaving? Y/N's about to head out too," she said with a knowing look.

"I know. We're gonna go shopping and grab some food together."

Chanyeol's mom held up a finger, turning around and going into the small room reserved for her office space. Chanyeol dutifully followed along, placing his backpack and guitar case on a chair. "Mom, can you take my things home for me?"

"Of course." His mother took out a few bills from her wallet, giving them to her son. "Make sure you pay for Y/N's food too. Oh, here's some extra!" She pulled out another bill. "And grab some more dog food for Toben on your way home."

"Mom," Chanyeol whined.

"He's your dog. After all the begging you did to get a dog, you won't take care of him?"

Chanyeol knew it was wiser in the long run to just suck it up if he wanted to avoid a long lecture from his mother. "Fine." He accepted the money, smooching a grateful kiss to his mother's cheek. "I'll text you when I'm on the way home," he said over his shoulder as he left.

You were just saying your goodbyes to Minkyung, already changed out of your work clothes and back into your regular clothing. Chanyeol couldn't help but notice that you were wearing the hoodie he gifted you for your birthday a few years ago, the same year you came to work at the bakery.

"Ready to go?" you asked him, moving the strap of your bag onto your shoulder.

Chanyeol could hardly believe it — this was an outing for just the two of you. It wasn't a date, but Chanyeol still felt the exhilarating rush of butterflies in his stomach.

He nodded, moving past you to hold the door open. "Let's go!"

One subway ride and a few minutes of walking later, the two of you found yourselves in one of your favorite shops. Chanyeol felt out of place, a giant among the colorful pens and rolls of washi tape. It was easy to get distracted when everything was so pretty, and you were no different.

"Look at this bookmark," you exclaimed holding one up for Chanyeol to see. It was mostly translucent, covered in delicate drawings of flowers.

Chanyeol came over to stand by you, picking up a similar floral bookmark and sticking it behind his ear. "What do you think? Do I look pretty?"

You burst into laughter, the perfect reaction that Chanyeol had been hoping for. "Yes, very pretty," you agreed. Reaching up, you placed your bookmark behind his other ear. "Now you're twice as pretty."

Placing his hands underneath his chin, Chanyeol blinked innocently.

"Wait, I need to take a picture of this," you said between giggles.

Chanyeol gave you various poses, both of you finding the impromptu photoshoot more hilarious with each passing second. You hurried to find your pens before the shop employees could get annoyed with you for being too noisy, leaving with a paper bag of goods.

"So where's this famous pizza place?" you asked, putting your purchases into your shoulder bag.

"It's not too far away. I didn't realize that store was so close to it until we were on the subway." Chanyeol switched places with you on the sidewalk, taking the spot closest to the street so that you were walking on the inside. It was a simple gesture, but it still warmed your heart nonetheless.

Had Chanyeol always been this considerate? You had known him for a couple of years, but you only ever saw him as your goofy friend. It was strange to realize that Chanyeol could be such a gentleman as well, your thoughts drifting back to the way he had taken song requests without a complaint back at the bakery.

"Y/N?"

You looked up, eyes wide. Sometime during your reverie, the two of you had come to a crosswalk. The light was still red, people on both sides waiting to cross. "Sorry, what?"

"Do you want to sit inside, or outside?" Chanyeol pointed across the street at a restaurant. You could see groups of people eating inside or out on the patio, each caught up in their own conversations.

"How about outside? It's such a nice day today, it'd be a waste not to enjoy it."

Chanyeol grinned from ear to ear, pulling the beanie off of his head as he ran a hand through his silver hair. "You're right." He nodded towards the street as the light turned green, stepping off of the curb once it was safe to cross.

Ordering was simple, and even considering how busy the restaurant was, your food still came out fairly quickly. Your mouth watered as you looked at all the food, spicy chicken wings piled up on a plate, a large pizza taking up most of the table. Chanyeol was already biting into a cheeseball, stretching out the stringy mozzarella cheese inside.

You soon found that the restaurant really did live up to its praise, falling in love with the pizza as soon as you took a bite. "This is so good," you gushed.

Chanyeol smiled, reaching for a slice himself. "I'm glad you like it. I figured we could deserve a treat, you know, with the new semester starting and all."

"Don't remind me," you groaned. "I rarely have time for myself, nowadays."

"Same here." Chanyeol took a long sip from his soda before speaking again. "School just gets harder as we get older, huh? I miss the times when we were young and we just had to turn in a packet at the end of the week."

"Now it's just endless amounts of assigned readings and papers. And making music, in your case. What's it like this semester?"

"I did a lot of acoustic music last semester, but someone I worked with let me try out his electric guitar and god, it was awesome. The way it feels just to hold one of those, Y/N, it's insane. We've been trying to write a few songs together." Chanyeol grabbed a piece chicken, taking a huge bite out of the small wing.

"With your senior, right? The lizard guy, Gecko?"

Chanyeol choked on his food, coughing as he reached for his water bottle. He gulped down half the bottle in a flash, eyes still sparkling with mirth. "Gaeko," he corrected with a laugh.

"I was close!"

Chanyeol nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "I gotta call him that next time — Lizard Guy."

"No," you pleaded, shoulders slumping. "You know what I meant. Anyways, didn't you work with him before too?"

To your relief, Chanyeol went along with your attempt to brush off your misunderstanding. "Yeah, Sehun and I worked with him before. He's really — he lives, breathes, eats music. I've never seen anyone as passionate about music as him."

"Wow." You lifted your eyebrows, clearly impressed. "I already thought you were like that. No wonder you two get along together."

The rest of your meal passed by as you and Chanyeol talked about other things on your mind. From talking about Chanyeol's latest compositions and favorite songs, to your anthropology class and latest drama you were binge-watching, there wasn’t a dull moment in between. There was never a boring moment with both of you, even in lazy, restful times like this.

"Ugh, I don't think I can eat any more." You leaned back in your seat, both hands on your stomach.

"We have one slice still. Someone's gotta finish it." Chanyeol wiggled his eyebrows, pushing the slice closer to you.

"Fine, but only if you help me out — sharing is caring." You ripped the slice in half, leaving the other piece for Chanyeol.

"Does this mean you care about me?"

You paused, the pizza slice halfway to your mouth. "Of course I do, Yeol."

Chanyeol brought his elbows up onto the table, thumbs fiddling with each other as he mustered up the courage for his next words. "Uh, I have a performance coming up in a few months. Sehun and I are gonna perform some songs that we've been working on since summer. Do you want to come?"

"Yeol, I'd love to! I'll be there, no matter what."

Your friend cleared his throat, suddenly finding it hard to look you in the eye. "I mean as a date. But it doesn't have to be," he tacked on, worried that you'd be scared off. He took a brave peek at your face, noticing how you were shocked into silence.

"A date?" you repeated. Your breath started to quicken as it finally started to make sense — Chanyeol had been acting weird around you because he liked you. The revelation made your heart race.

Chanyeol nodded, chewing on his lips as he waited for your answer.

"Okay," you replied, completely taking him off guard.

"Really?!" Chanyeol's voice boomed, garnering the attention of a few customers close by.

"Yes," you said with a laugh. "It's a date, Yeol."

He stretched his hands out high into the air, a relieved smile on his face. "Oh my god," he breathed out. "This is great."

"Chanyeol, people are starting to look." You trued to hide your face with your hands, unable to stop yourself from giggling.

"Let them look! I'm going on a date with Y/N!" His happiness was infectious, quickly taking over you as well and leaving a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Chanyeol gobbled up the last piece of pizza left for him, and paid for the bill without letting you pay for a single cent. It was still light out, but the streetlights were just beginning to turn on.

"I'll walk you home," Chanyeol announced, proud to have the honor of doing so.

"Are you sure? Your mom will worry if you're home too late."

"I'll let her know, don't worry." Chanyeol started walking, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.

You hurried to catch up to him, your bag bumping into your hip. Once you were by his side, you wrapped an arm around his.

Chanyeol jumped slightly at the sudden contact, smiling shyly as he realized it was you. One of his closest friends, his longtime crush, and now the possibility of something more.

Somewhere, after years of getting to know you, he had found the way to your heart.

A/N: this was very loosely inspired by exo-sc’s “rodeo station”! It’s definitely one of my favorite tracks off the album! I figured a couple of college kids would probably hang out around smaller, more casual places than a luxury department store like the apgujeong galleria haha, but I really love getting to write college chanyeol who’s loved by his neighborhood. also, I was eventually going to write sehun in during his performance with chanyeol, but the fic was already at 3k+ words, so I had to stop myself 😂

#exo #chanyeol #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol fanfic #exo scenario #exo fanfic #writings

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fraudulence-paradox · 3 years ago

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08/15/2021

Well, at least school will be in-person again soon. In exactly 3 weeks I’ll be back to the old grind… sort of. Everyone at [School] is required to be vaccinated so I don’t have to worry too much, but regardless, I and everyone else will have to get tested monthly, and to wear masks at all times. I’m not looking forward to it. But whatever. It’s what I wanted, right? Supposedly?

There is almost no news to report, really. A------ and I have started going out to physical locations again. Like, we went on a bar crawl a few weeks ago. We’re back to going to restaurants. She can finally spend the night at my place (even though B-----n isn’t fully vaccinated, but who cares—if he gets sick, he gets sick. I may get a little flu-ish but so far no one in my age range has been hospitalized if they were vaccinated, and I’m in decent shape). So that’s nice. It was weird during the height of everything, between her and I. Not in a relationship sense, but in how we could hang out. Basically every weekend, I’d go to her place Friday, and leave Sunday after church (which good lord, I forgot how much I hate church, and they’re Catholic, so there’s an extra layer of shittiness to church, but I won’t get into that here). It was strange.

I would go to bed in their little guest room every Friday and Saturday night and wonder, is this normal? Do girlfriends’ parents normally let their daughter’s boyfriend just crash in the spare room every weekend? It was so odd. I’m not sure how to properly express it. Like, I almost felt bad that I was like an extra child of theirs, consuming their resources. They took her and I on this vacation to a lake house out in the middle of nowhere. It was really great, don’t get me wrong. I had a lot of fun, and honestly I feel like A------ and I grew as a couple as a result of cohabitating for so long, but I had this deep niggling feeling that I was doing something wrong by coming along. I don’t know. It was a fun trip though.

That was almost a year ago now. I spent a lot of time on the little dock by the water, fishing with her dad. I suck at fishing, but it was a halfway good time. A------ and I spent a lot of time indoors, either working on school stuff remotely, or watching movies late at night in the basement. During the days we didn’t have school things to be doing, we kayaked on the lake (like at least a few miles either time), fished together, and on the way home we hit a hiking trail really early in the morning. It was so nice. I can still remember the damp, cool October air biting at my skin while we walked. It was something like a 5 mile hike too, which is a lot for us, but we made it. It was a nice Autumn memory that I don’t think we would have been able to make in the midst of the pandemic if we hadn’t been able to get away to the middle of nowhere like we did.

Something unrelated I’ve been thinking about today is motivation. When I was younger, like middle-school younger, which by now is (good lord) 10 years ago, I used to draw and play music all the time. I used to think it was because I just liked to do it, but I’m beginning to realize, maybe that’s not true.

I used to have dreams of just running away and becoming a caricature artist on the boardwalk in NJ. Or to go become a busker and play guitar for tips. Neither ever panned out. The closest I came was going to the boardwalk with my cousins once, and drawing one stranger’s picture (rather poorly and unflatteringly); or maybe the handful of times J--- and I, or any of the bands we were in played at bars or coffee houses. We didn’t do these things for “fame” per se, but we always had it in the back of our minds that maybe someone would think we were good, and would want to hear us play more music. Or I thought maybe people online would suddenly start reposting my art, or at least it would get some traction or low-level internet fame. Obviously, neither of those things ever happened.

These days, I rarely draw or play music. I do it just enough to try to keep my old skills active, and not let them erode too much. They have, but I’m at least fighting it. But today, I had a rare treat—my roommates were both out of town until at least tomorrow. No one was home. I rarely have an empty house.

When I was like 16 (8 years ago?!) and my parents would leave the house, and my siblings were all gone, it was jam central, man. I’d be playing that guitar, and fucking wailing vocals, and just generally going to town. But today, with an empty house for the first time in god knows how long, I tried to do that again, and the magic was just gone. I didn’t really enjoy it. I’m not sure what happened. Maybe it’s that I’m not as good as I used to be, but I’m still decent at guitar, better than I was at the height of all of that stuff. I think what it was is that I’ve just given up.

It’s so hard to want to keep practicing a skill you know will never be appreciated, or really even enjoyed by anyone. Maybe someday, with a lot of work I could even be a great singer-songwriter or something, but I’ll never quit my day-job. In all likelihood, I’ll never be good enough to even play in those bars alone again. I’m the definition of “peaked in high school”, so what’s the point? Why try?

I don’t know. I wish I still could. I don’t care about “fame” or dumb shit like that, but it’s more of, what am I even doing this for? Why bother practicing if no one else cares? Just for myself? Ugh. I don’t care if I get good at it. Why does anyone do anything? Why am I going to school for something I vaguely care about. Why keep at anything. Why do anything.

I could just lay in bed all day, working from home at some bullshit half-assed job and collect money. I’ve done that in the past. Why not go back to that? Why is that so dissatisfying if the alternative is also dissatisfying? What do I even want to do with my life? It’s too late to do anything now. I’m fucking locked into this Ph.D. stuff, and I do think, at least in an abstract sense, what I want to do is teach. But it’s so hard to care sometimes.

I just wish I cared about things anymore. I don’t. I miss caring.

Why did I quit smoking weed if I wasn’t gonna care about stuff anyway? Fuck.

#journal #diary #motivation #covid #coronavirus #school #grad school #depression #i used to like things #i don't anymore #hobbies #nothing interests me anymore #anhedonia #sad #despair

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pixiegrl · 4 years ago

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Jingle Bell Rock

Luke has the perfect idea for a Christmas gift for Ashton.

This is part of the Lingerie 5sos verse. I've wanted to write this part for a while because I thought it would be cute if Luke proposed to Ashton and well. Here it finally is. A little Christmas treat. Thanks to @lifewasradical for letting me yell at her about this. Love you babe!

On ao3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28330056

“Michael, I’ve had an idea,” Luke says into the phone when Michael picks up. He’s met with dead air, staticky on the other line. Luke pulls the phone back from his ear, checking to see if they’re still connected.

“Michael, are you there? This is important.”

“Sorry I just can’t believe you’ve had an idea,” Michael says, snickering on the other side while Luke pouts.

“Oh fuck you Mikey, I have tons of ideas,” Luke says, pouting further as Michael’s laughter grows from a snicker to full blown cackling.

“I know, I know. You’re just so fun to fuck with,” Michael says. His laughter dies down as he gets a hold of himself. Luke waits until Michael finally calms down, rolling his eyes.

“Are you finished?”

“Yeah, yeah. You said you had an idea?”

“I’m going to get Ashton an engagement ring.”

Michael pauses, “Luke, you know you’re engaged already right?”

“I know, but after the whole foursome thing I want to show Ashton that I love him just as much as he loves me. That he’s the only one for me. So, I want to get him a ring of his own. And I need your help shopping.”

“God that’s so...horribly sappy. You two are the most vanilla people I know.”

“Michael, will you help me or not?”

“I’ll help. Give me like 30 minutes and I’ll come pick you up, okay?” Michael says. Luke hums out a confirmation and hangs up the phone.

Luke has a rare day alone, something that never happens. Ashton’s gone off shopping somewhere, leaving Luke alone for the day. Luke’s been thinking about doing this for awhile, getting a ring for Ashton. He’s looking online at a few things and decided that he doesn’t want to get Ashton a diamond ring. It seems too ordinary and plain for someone as amazing and wonderful as Ashton. Luke’s decided on a gemstone, he’s just not sure what stone. Luke’s hoping that seeing them in person will help him make a choice.

It’s easy for Luke to get ready, already wearing his plaid pants and black crew neck shirt. He feels cozy in them, soft and warm. He feels less like Stage Luke and closer to the Luke he is at home, Ashton’s fiancé, happy and content. He grabs a pair of his black boots and his wallet, running his fingers through his curls in the hallway mirror before patting Petunia on her head.

“Be good while I’m gone okay Tuney,” Luke coos at her, rubbing her ears and pressing a kiss to her head. He gets a lick on his cheek in return, laughing in delight at her. Luke’s phone buzzes, signalling to him that Michael’s outside. Luke grabs his keys from the key hooks at the front door, locking the door behind him.

Michael’s idling in the driveway, flipping through his phone while All Time Low plays in the background. He glances up at Luke when he opens the passenger door, climbing in and slamming it behind him.

“You’re dressed down today,” Michael comments, putting the car in reverse and backing out.

“Just felt like wearing this today,” Luke says, shrugging. Michael hums in response, taking them out on the road and on their way to where they know the stores are

“Do you actually know where we’re headed or are you hoping to drive around in circles looking for a jewelry store?” Michael asks after a few moments. Luke pulls his phone out of his pocket, clicking through his recent search history on Google Maps.

“I know a place we can go. I’ve been looking at this for a few days.”

“Oh shit, you’re serious about this,” Michael says, glancing at the Google Maps directions when Luke gives him his phone.

“Yeah I’ve been thinking about it for a couple weeks. Ashton was really uncertain of our relationship after the foursome and we talked it out, but I’m worried he’s still unsure of us. I mean, we’re getting married, Michael. I don’t want Ashton to ever be unsure of us.”

“I can’t believe he would be. You two have been gross and sappy and in love since practically the minute we met Ashton.”

“He thinks he’s not enough. Or he thought he wasn’t enough? Either way, I want to show Ashton that he is and I love him in the same way that he loves me. So, a ring,” Luke says.

“You actually thought about this.”

“I’m a good gift giver when it’s not for you,” Luke says, laughing when Michael pouts dramatically. It’s fun, driving in the car with Michael, swapping stories about Ashton and Calum, the Christmas gifts they’ve planned for each of their partners, trying to take festive photos for their families (Michael complaining about how hard it is to dress three dogs up for Christmas photos, Luke talking about how much Petunia enjoyed the reindeer antlers as a chew toy instead). Luke feels like as much as he gets to see Michael, he doesn’t really get to sit down and talk to Michael. Even if it’s just a car ride to go shopping, Luke enjoys spending time with Michael, even if it involves some light ribbing.

They pull into the parking lot of the jewelry store soon enough. Luke feels like he might throw up, bouncing his leg from how nervous he is, tapping his fingers on his thigh. Michael leans over, squeezing Luke’s hand.

“Deep breathes Luke. Ashton loves you, you already know that. Getting this ring is just simply another symbol in a long list of symbols of your love.”

“What if I pick the wrong ring?”

“I think that would be literally impossible, but even if you did, Ashton would love it anyway because it would be a gift from you. He would never hate anything that you could give him,” Michael says, smiling at Luke. Luke smiles back, edges of it tense, and squeezes Michael’s hand back, breathing in and out to try and ground himself. Michael’s right of course. No matter what Luke picks, he already knows Ashton loves him and that they’re forever. The ring isn’t as important as any of that.

“You ready?” Michael asks. Luke takes a breath, lets it out, and nods. They leave the car, Luke entering the store first. There’s a woman at the corner, who glances up when they walk in.

“Welcome. What can I help you with today?”

“I’m looking for a ring?” Luke says hesitantly, cringing at himself when he hears the words. Michael snorts behind him. The woman smiles gently, clearly taking pity on how awkward Luke must be.

“Are you looking for a diamond or something else?” She asks. Luke cautiously approaches the corner.

“Something else. Maybe something red,” Luke says. He’s thought about it, the red of a gemstone complimenting the red in Ashton’s moon tattoos, the heart on his wrist.

The woman smiles, heading in the direction of where those rings must be. Luke follows after her, leaving Michael to poke around the earrings.

She reaches into the display area, pulling out a bright red stone, set in a simple gold band.

“It’s a ruby. Symbolizes love, passion, and energy. It’s perfect for what you’re looking for. This one is a size 9, but we can resize it if you need it,” She says, holding the ring out to Luke. He takes it gently, turning it over in his hands and smiling gently. It glitters in the light, bright and sparkly. Luke knows it’ll look good on Ashton, standing out against his skin.

“That’s the perfect size. It’s perfect. I’ll take it,” Luke says, smiling. The woman smiles, telling Luke the price of it. It seems reasonable enough, Luke nodding when she asks if the price is acceptable. She takes the ring back from him, moving around behind the counter to place it in a box and ring him up. Luke knows he’s probably being a little hasty, picking a ring so quickly, but he knows it feels right. Something about the ring feels like it’s meant for Ashton. The woman smiles as she hands the bag to Luke.

“Good luck. I hope they enjoy it. Happy holidays,” She says, smiling. Luke gives her a soft smile back.

“Thank you. I hope so too. Happy holidays,” Luke says. Michael’s already at the door, holding it open for him as they leave and head back to the car.

“It looks nice Luke. I’m sure Ashton will like it.”

“You think so?”

“The color works well for him. He’ll love it and what it means,” Michael says, reassuringly. Luke smiles, opening the car door and settling into the passenger seat.

“You know what else Ashton might like?” Michael says as he slides in, starting the engine.

“What?”

“You in some festive lingerie. Really adds to the whole ambience of the affair,” Michael says. Luke can tell he’s teasing, but it might not be such a bad idea. Might even be fun for Luke to do.

“Think so?”

“You’re not actually thinking about it, are you?”

“Why not? I’m sure Sierra and KayKay have something in stock that might be fun to wear. A little red and white number.”

“Are you gonna do a dance with it? Oh, wait! You could do the Mean Girls dance. Full Jingle Rock number. Ashton would really get a kick out of that,” Michael says, laughing as he drives them in the direction of the store. Luke blushes.

“I’m too clumsy for that.”

“You are not. It’s an easy enough dance just...stay out of the way of stereos so you don’t kick one in Ashton’s face,” Michael says. Luke rolls his eyes, but Michael has a point. It might be fun to put on a show. Luke knows Ashton likes him in lingerie, so why not incorporate it into their gift giving.

Luke’s still trying to talk Michael into doing something similar for Calum when they enter the shop. The bell jingles over the door and Sierra and KayKay both look up from the counter, grinning widely when they see it’s Luke and Michael.

“Luke, sweetheart! What brings you in today?” Sierra calls, rounding the counter to pull Luke into a hug. She’s nice today, wearing a black bodysuit and black jeans. Kaykay is clearly checking out her ass, blushing when Michael elbows her, grinning.

“Looking for something seasonally appropriate to surprise Ashton with.”

“You know, like Mean Girls,” Michael says. Luke throws him a glare, but Sierra and KayKay are both nodding along.

“You’re in luck! We have a whole section for festive looks. It’s more classy than what you’ll find online, but we do pride ourselves on being better,” Sierra says, taking Luke’s hand and tugging Luke in that direction.

As expected, there’s a lot of reds with white trim, bows and ribbons over everything. There’s a handful of green pieces too, Michael drawn towards those to look through the pieces. Sierra holds one out to Luke, a simple bralette in red satin, white trim around the edges and a simple satin panty, little red skirt with matching trim on it.

“If you’re going for the Regina George aesthetic, I think this is perfect. Simple and understated, but elegant. Would make your legs look great with a nice pair of stockings and a heel,” Sierra teases. Luke hums, taking the set in his hands and admiring it.

“Your ass would look great in it,” Michael says, glancing over at Luke while he looks at his own green set. Luke hums, turning it over in his hands. It would look good on Luke and he has the perfect red heels for it.

“Wouldn’t look too trashy?”

“I don’t think you could ever be capable of looking trashy,” Sierra reassures him.

“What about the dance though?”

“Oh that’s easy,” KayKay pipes up, drawing all their attention to her.

“It is?”

“I memorized that dance in middle school cause I thought I was so cool. Just tell me when it’s good for you and I can show you both how to do it.”

“You sure?”

KayKay waves it away, “It’s certainly easy enough to learn.”

“You haven’t seen Luke and his coordination,” Michael snips. Luke rolls his eyes, flipping Michael off while bringing the pieces up to the counter.

“I have some coordination, Michael.”

“Are you sure? I’ve watched you trip over air before.”

“As opposed to you just falling off a stage.”

“How dare you mock my traumatic moment Luke. Worst friend ever,” Michael complains dramatically. Luke rolls his eyes.

“Yes, I’m the worst friend in the world Michael. As you like to tell me all the time.”

“Good, you need to know it,” Michael says. He’s grinning though, leaning over to press a kiss to Luke’s cheek. Luke grins back, bumping shoulders with Michael. It’s fun, getting to spend the time with Michael, having someone who accepts him, rolls with all of the things that Luke asks.

Luke and Michael leave the shop with the promise to text KayKay when they’re free to set up a time to learn the dance. They leave the shop, making their way back to the car.

“I can’t believe you’re going to learn the Mean Girls dance for your Christmas gift to Ashton you’re literally insane,” Michael says, unlocking the car and getting in.

“I think you mean that we’re going to learn the dance together,” Luke says.

“If you make me break an ankle, I will sue you.”

“Scouts honor you won’t.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Michael mumbles. Luke smiles. It’s going to be a perfect gift for Ashton, he just knows it.

***

Luke’s ready for Christmas. He’s been up since 7:00am, woken up by Ashton pressing kisses to his skin. Luke hates being up early, but he’ll willingly do it for Christmas and morning kisses with Ashton. Eventually, Ashton had left their bed for his morning run and to take Petunia out, while Luke had agreed to set up for gift exchange and coffee. Luke waits till Ashton’s out the front door before shimming out of his pajamas and grabbing the lingerie set from its hiding spot. He puts the bra on first, sliding on the panties. He pulls a pair of white thigh high stockings up his legs, adjusting them till they feel right and sit perfectly on his legs. He pulls his pajamas back on over the set, deciding that he’ll put the skirt and heels on right before he does the dance.

Luke heads downstairs, leaving the skirt and heels in their downstairs bathroom, the one place he knows Ashton won’t go into before exchanging gifts. Ashton’s already left his half of the gifts downstairs, gift bags and wrapped boxes and a small basket filled with small wrapped gifts. Luke smiles, re-adjusting everything until there’s enough space for him to put out his gifts for Ashton. Luke’s gone for getting gifts that are more food based this year, cookbooks and boxes of tea and coffee, things that he knows mean the two of them can spend time together. Luke’s been basking in their quasi-break, getting to spend all of his time with Ashton. He wants to continue that, dedicated nights to quality time and the cookbooks had seemed like the perfect idea for it. Ashton’s always talking about exploring different foods and this has seemed like the perfect chance. He’d also bought a mini waffle maker that makes the waffles heart shaped because it was sappy and cute and he knows Ashton will laugh at it but use it every morning. He’d gotten Ashton some new shirts and ties, soft material and deep, rich colors, for when they tour again or go out for press. They’re perfect simple gifts that Luke’s happy about. He puts the ring box in his pocket once he’s set up all the other gifts and goes into the kitchen to make coffee.

Luke’s heating the water up, scooping out some of the Winter Blend ground coffee they have into their french press when Ashton comes back from his walk, Petunia panting at his heels. Luke turns around, bending down to coo at her as she takes a drink of water from her bowl.

“Aw, did Ashton make you run too much?” Luke asks her, giggling as she splashes water onto the floor trying to lap up as much water as she can.

“She could use it,” Ashton grumbles, coming into the kitchen. Luke leans over, waiting till Ashton’s close enough, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You’re all sweaty,” Luke says, wrinkling his nose.

“I did just go for a run. Not my fault you can’t wait for a kiss,” Ashton snorts, pressing another kiss to Luke’s lips, despite his half-hearted protests.

“Shower first, then presents,” Luke says, allowing himself to steal one more kiss from Ashton before pushing him in the direction of their bedroom. Ashton laughs, but goes willingly, leaving Luke to finish up with making their coffee. Luke carries it out to the living room, Petunia close at his heels, knowing that there’ll be treats for her under the tree too. Luke sets the mugs down, picking Petunia up and placing her on the couch next to him. He scratches behind her ears, scrolling through his phone and texting his family, wishing them a merry christmas and promising to call them after opening gifts.

Ashton comes back down the stairs, humming quietly under his breath, smiling when he sees Luke. He takes a seat on the couch, curling up next to Luke and taking his coffee mug.

Ashton makes Luke open his things first, insisting that he wants to see what Luke thinks of them. Luke’s charmed by it, excited for the makeup and the earrings, the spa basket of things Ashton’s given him. He adores the little jewelry box, laughing when he realizes that it’s Petunia. Ashton’s bashful when he hands Luke the last two boxes, taking Luke’s breath away when he pulls the dress out of one, beautiful pink tulle, with little beaded pearls and flowers. It’s the lingerie set that gets Luke though, royal blue with the black lace. It’s not something Luke would pick for himself, prefers lighter colors, but it’s a beautiful set and he’s glad Ashton picked it out, can’t wait to try it on. Ashton’s thrilled about the cookbooks, laughing at the waffle maker and promising to try it this morning. He keeps leaning over between gifts, pressing kisses to Luke’s lips and thanking him over and over again, in between Luke’s giggles and smile.

Eventually they open everything, including the toys and dog treats for Petunia. Ashton stands, clearly ready to make food.

“I have one more surprise,” Luke says, blushing when Ashton looks down at him.

“Oh?”

“Yes, but you have to sit back down and close your eyes.”

“I do?”

“It’s a surprise,” Luke insists, setting his mug down on the table and getting up. Ashton rolls his eyes, but sits back down.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I love you very much. Now, close your eyes and wait for me,” Luke says. He waits till Ashton’s closed his eyes before leaving the room, heading to the bathroom and changing into the lingerie skirt and sliding his heels on. He takes the ring from his pants pocket, sliding it into his bra for lack of a better place to put it.

Luke takes a breath, leaving the bathroom and trying to be as quiet as possible, making sure his heels don’t click on the floor. He wants it to be a surprise for as long as possible. He finds Ashton still sitting on the couch, eyes closed, tapping his fingers against his thighs.

Luke strikes a pose and clears his throat, “You can open your eyes now.”

Ashton does, cracking up a smile and laughing brightly when he sees Luke. Luke blushes.

“Very nice Luke,” Ashton says, once his laughter has died down, still smiling.

“Well, now you’re just saying that.”

“Am not. You look very lovely. Seasonal and all.”

“I learned a whole dance.”

“You did?”

“KayKay taught us the dance from Mean Girls.”

“Do I get to see it?”

“You can’t laugh,” Luke insists. Ashton crosses his heart.

“Promise I won’t,” Ashton says, giggling anyway. Luke rolls his eyes, grabbing his phone off the table to queue up the song.

The opening notes of Jingle Bell Rock play through the speakers on Luke’s phone. Luke starts to dance, trying to remember the steps KayKay taught him. He forgets the dance part way through, opting to just twirl at one point, knowing the spinning of the skirt will distract Ashton from his forgotten steps if Luke can draw attention to his ass and legs. It works, Ashton’s gaze fixed on Luke the whole time as he does his best to impersonate Regina George. Luke ends on a spin, angling himself in front of Ashton on the final note.

Luke lands in Ashton’s lap, knees bracketing Ashton’s hips. Ashton hums, hands on Luke’s hips, tilting his head back to request a kiss. Luke obliges, leaning down and pressing his lips to Ashton’s fingers tangled in his hair.

“Best gift yet,” Ashton whispers onto Luke’s lips.

“I have one more for you.”

“Really?”

Luke nods, leaning down on his heels. He reaches into his bra, pulling the ring box out, opening it up. He glances up at Ashton, sees his wide-eyed expression of shock.

“Lu…”

“Ashton, I know you gave me my ring and I know you proposed to me all those months ago, but with everything that’s happened recently, I realized that I haven’t told you how I feel. I know you always say you know and that it’s oblivious, but you deserve to have me say it over and over again. I love you. It’s just part of who I am, all my love for you making me who I am. You’re passionate and strong and supportive. You’re my other half and sometimes it feels like you know me better than I know who I am. I wouldn’t be here today without you and your love and guidance and support. You deserve to have a symbol of my love, to have a constant reminder of how much I love you, how much you’re a part of who I am. I love you and I want to marry you. So, Ashton Irwin, will you marry me?” Luke asks. Ashton’s smiling, eyes wet with tears, as he takes Luke’s face in his hands and kisses him.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Luke Hemmings. But you already knew that,” Ashton says. Luke laughs, thinks he might be crying his own tears of joy, as he takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto Ashton’s finger.

“Oh, it’s a perfect fit,” Ashton says, holding his hand out to admire the ruby stone.

“It was meant to be,” Luke says, leaning back in to kiss Ashton. They kiss for a few more minutes, enjoying the warmth and love from each other.

“Best Christmas ever?” Luke asks.

“I got you in lingerie and an engagement. I’d say it’s the best Christmas ever,” Ashton says, grinning.

“I love you Ash,” Luke says, pressing one final kiss to Ashton’s neck.

“I love you Lu. Now let’s get up and make some waffles in the shape of our love and call our families,” Ashton says, kissing Luke’s cheek. Luke laughs, detangling himself from Ashton’s lap and standing up. Ashton follows suit, tugging Luke towards the kitchen for breakfast. Luke thinks Ashton is right. It’s the best Christmas Luke could have asked for.

#5 seconds of summer #lashton #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lingerie sos #lingerie luke series #a nice little dash of christmas lingerie for the holiday #please enjoy this #my writing

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balancingdiet · 5 years ago

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Tabula Rasa

Detective Conan & Magic Kaito Characters: Shinichi/Kaito Words: 3100 ish Chapter: (1) … (18) (19) (20)

Shinichi always finds his neighbour weird. But he didn’t expect to find his neighbour lying on a patch of grass and donned in Kaitou Kid’s costume, too.

Dear Diary, 24 Dec

Hello! Before I start, let me first introduce myself. My name is Aoko, and I like to cook and volunteer at the hospital. There’s always this sense of accomplishment whenever people enjoy my cooking and company, and it makes me happy when they are happy!

What else... Oh, I haven’t thought of what I want to be when I grow up, but I do have lots of inspirations around. First of all, my dad is a Police Inspector! And Kaito, my childhood friend/neighbour is an amazing magician! Both Keiko and Sayaka, my close friends in high school, aspire to be a baker! Yuna too, wants to be a vet.

Ok, I think I’m starting to drift away from the main topic... Anyway, this notebook was a gift from Kaito. Or not. He said he got it as a complimentary item for some stuff that he bought online... But well, the fact that he even thought of me is already pretty sweet.

I originally wanted to use this book to do my homework, but Keiko suggested writing a diary with it, so I shall give it a go! Let’s see how long this diary-keeping thing will last (^-^)v

Dear Diary, 4 Jan

Bakaito got a cold today.

Okay. Let me rephrase that.

Kaito got a cold today.

Well, I guess he doesn’t deserve to be called Bakaito when it was sort of my fault that he became sick... But he’s so stupid! Yesterday, I told him I needed help because I sprained my ankle at the supermarket, and he came WITHOUT HIS COAT. It was such a long way home! What was he thinking??

But yeah... so now we’re both stuck at home. Me with a sprained ankle and him with a fever... I guess I can't see Kaito's ice skating fails any time soon! (≧∀≦)

Dear Diary, 22 Jan

Today, Kaito and I went to volunteer at the hospital.

We found out that Mika-chan’s dad passed away last night.

This is so horrible... Mika-chan loved her dad so much.

When I heard the news, I couldn't control myself and had to cry in the bathroom while Kaito started the magic show on his own.

I felt bad. The atmosphere wasn't great and Kaito wasn't in his best condition either, yet he still put on a smile the entire time.

Ended up, his performance cheered me up too.

I don't know what I'd do if Kaito wasn't there.

Dear Diary, 1 Feb

( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ

KAITOU KID SUCKS

KAITOU KID!!!!

SUCKS!!!

( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ ( •̀ω•́ )σ

Dear Diary, 28 Apr

It’s been a few months since Kaitou Kid returned.

I never like him, and will never understand why everyone treats him like a celebrity either. But now... I think I should start viewing this from another perspective.

Since Kid first disappeared, and also mom’s death... I rarely see dad ever energised for anything. But after Kid returned, he's so much more motivated to go to work now. Speaking of which, dad was on his way out to the office before I went to school this morning. He even agreed when I suggested to make and deliver him bento dinner. He never wanted them the last time, just because...

But even though I’ve decided this MAY be the best for dad, that DOESN’T mean I will EVER tolerate Kid’s criminal ways!! Dad is definitely gonna catch him in the end, and by then, let’s see if he can still walk around in his costume!!

Seriously though, what’s with his hat.

He looks stupid.

(」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣

Dear Diary, 18 May

Today, Kaito and I went to Tropical Land.

I know I should at least be a bit happier when I had so much fun, but I still feel a little bad... especially when the reason why I asked Kaito out in the first place was because I thought he was Kaitou Kid! Or at least that was what my dad thought.

But in the end, I’m glad Kaito proved my dad and I wrong.

How can he be Kaitou Kid anyway?

I think I owe Kaito more than just an ice cream treat for ever doubting him. Maybe I should ask him out to Tropical Land again properly next time. And then we’ll have real loads of fun!

Dear Diary, 30 May

EDOGAWA CONAN THE KID KILLER IS MY NEW IDOL!!!

I have no idea who this kid is, but he’s really, really smart and cute! And comparing to all the Kid’s fans out there, I can’t believe it’s A CHILD that knows what’s right and wrong...

Hakuba-kun always uses the right words to irritate Bakaito, but I think the name “Edogawa Conan” has more effect on him. If I could get an autograph... I think it would be the best thing to use to tease Kaito and his stupid obsession with Kaitou Kid! (｀▽´)

Dear Diary, 21 June

Today is Kaito’s birthday!!

I used to always buy him magic crafts and gadgets from our local bookstore, but now that he has the capabilities to make his own tricks, it’s a definite no-no! I considered bringing him to his favourite Ramen store, but I figured it’d be the easiest to just ask what he wanted to do or eat instead.

Guess what was his answer?

He said he wanted me to teach him how to cook fried rice.

I was like what?? That’s it? And he said yeah. So we spent the entire day getting the ingredients at the supermarket before going over to my house. It was easy and Kaito got the steps fast, but... silly Kaito. I mean... if he ever wants to eat it, he can tell me and I can always cook it for him.

But oh well! It’s nice to know Kaito wants to learn something else besides magic tricks. I had fun teaching him anyway. And I believe he had fun too!

As long as he’s happy, I think that’s all that really matters.

----

“Kudo-kun!”

Shinichi shut the notebook and turned, watching as Takagi walked to close their distance on the rooftop. Keeping the book inside the pocket of his suit jacket, Shinichi greeted back.

“I thought you’re taking a break.” Takagi gestured to Shinichi’s suit once he stood beside him. “Turns out you’re reading your notes? For a case?”

“No, it’s not anything related to work.” Shinichi afforded a smile, but there was just so much his lips could move as his heart squeezed at the thought of Kaito.

Takagi nodded understandingly and said nothing more, which Shinichi couldn't be any more thankful for. “Anyway, I’m not sure if anyone told you since you missed this morning’s debrief, but a new division is on its way.”

“Yeah, Inspector Megure did tell me,” Shinichi said.

“I’m so glad things are going back to normal for us again.” Takagi heaved out a relief sigh after a long stretch. “And maybe by then, you can also focus on what’s worrying you all these while.”

Shinichi blinked. “...What?”

Takagi raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been worrying about something, or someone, haven’t you?”

"Um..."

“I may be wrong, and I’m sorry if I am. It’s just that I noticed some similar things in you that I had whenever I worried for Miwako-san.” Takagi scratched the back of his head. “I hope things are okay for you.”

“...Thank you.” Shinichi turned and looked over the view beyond the roof. “Anyway, you’re not wrong. There’s someone I’ve been worrying about recently.”

And that was all Shinichi could say.

It wasn't just for the sake of Kaito’s privacy or identity. The truth was, Shinichi had no idea what to do besides worrying. And this was the first time he felt so, so useless in this entire decade of his life.

He pressed a hand over his suit, feeling the bulge from the notebook.

“Then I hope things will work out for that person too...” Takagi’s voice trailed off as his brows furrowed in concern. “Actually, is he or she someone I know? I’ll be more than glad to help if I can.”

“No, you don’t know him... but he did knock you out disguise as you before,” Shinichi muttered at the end.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Shinichi smiled. “Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Takagi slapped a hand over Shinichi’s back. “We’re a team after all.”

----

Dear Diary, 16 July

Kaito has been pretty busy lately. And tired. Yes. Definitely tired.

I thought it was related to his track-and-field club and went to ask Chihaya-chan, but she said there wasn’t any recent competition lately. In fact... Kaito hasn’t been an active member since many months ago.

I then asked Kaito a few times about it, but he always deflected my questions and started talking about other things. And that is ALWAYS his habit. Guess what, BAKAITO??? The more you try to avoid, the more obvious it becomes! <(｀^´)>

I'm so frustrated at him, but you know what’s even more frustrating? It’s the way he never fails to make me want to forgive him in the end even though I should have stayed angry at him longer. Always giving me those pretty roses and placating me with Tamago...

So SO FRUSTRATING!!

Dear Diary, 11 Aug

Kaito fell asleep in class again.

It’s not like I’m worried for his grades when he never needed to pay attention in class to score well (;¬_¬) What I’m worried about is his health.

I’ve already given up asking why and what he is exactly busy with, but I’m afraid he’d started stressing himself to attend the volunteering sessions with me, just because he doesn’t want me to worry...

I’m grateful, and forever will be, for those days when he accompanied me to visit my mom and even signing up for the volunteering program just for me. I’m really, really grateful for all he has done and all that he is doing now, but what I want is to be able to help Kaito, to lift whatever burden he is carrying... And what I want even more is for him to trust me. Trust me enough so that I can do all those things I want to do for him...

Just... ugh.

Stupid, stupid Bakaito...

Dear Diary, 9 Sep

Today is my birthday.

We didn't have school and Keiko asked why I didn’t take the opportunity to hold a party, but to be honest, it slipped my mind. I had been so busy with homework and worrying about... well, yeah.

Dad has work, but he wished me early in the morning before he went. Keiko, Sayaka and Yuna came over to my house and baked a cake for me. Everyone in the hospital helped to celebrate too when I went to volunteer in the evening. Kanna-chan even made a bracelet as a gift! Having a party or not, I still feel extra loved today.

As for Kaito... he had wished me in the morning through a text, but I didn’t see him all day. He must be busy.

It’s fine anyway. There’s always next year.

OH my god. Bakaito CAME.

Guess how did he do it?! He had climbed up to my balcony and scared the hell out of me! AND HE STILL HAD THE CHEEKS TO SAY HE WAS 12 MINUTES EARLY. He must be some monkey in his past life! ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

He then asked me to follow him to his backyard. Like, seriously, he could have called or texted me on the phone instead of climbing up to my balcony... but beside the point, I followed while he led the way.

And turns out this Kaito... He had cultivated a bush of blue roses as a gift for my birthday.

Oh boy... It is really, really beautiful!!!! And I think I must be so overwhelmed that I just... sort of pounced onto him as a form of...thanks. (//∀//)

I called it a hug, and he called it an attempted murder.

Then with only 3 minutes left, he sang me a birthday song with Wasabi and Curry sitting on his shoulders while Tamago sat on his head. I think I hadn’t laughed that hard since ages.

And I think I hadn’t seen Kaito looked so bright and cheery for a long time.

He told me to make a wish afterwards. But to be honest, I don’t think I needed one.

At that point of time, I felt as though all my wishes had already come true.

Dear Diary, 1 Nov

With the way Bakaito has been handling his life, I knew he will fall sick sooner or later...

He’s now down with a cold and a fever and has been missing from school for three days.

I was so tempted to tell him a ‘I told you so,’ when I dropped by his house for a visit, but I rather Kaito get well soon than to jinx him any further. He kept on drifting in and out of his sleep too, and it pained me when I saw him like that.

I stayed till dinner time and had to force feed him the porridge I cooked, while convincing him that I DID NOT put any fish in it for about 90 times. He seemed to care more about the non-existent fish than his fever and the medicines he hadn’t eaten. Silly Bakaito.

Maybe I should visit him tomorrow again.

Dear Diary, 2 Nov

Today, Kaito got admitted to the hospital. He’s getting proper treatment, but he’s still sick, which is why it’s getting worrisome. This is the first time he’s been sick for so long.

And luckily Jii-chan was around... Or I don’t know what to do alone...

Dear Diary, 3 Nov

Kaito Kaitojis Kaito iskasit

Kaito is Kaitou Kid.

The portrait of his dad in his room... I thought it was just an ordinary portrait. I thought...

I’ve thought so many things.

I just wanted to pack Kaito’s clothes. I don’t know why I heard a sound behind the portrait. I don’t know why I decided to give it a push. I don’t know why the portrait could flip.

I don’t know why I ended up in another room.

I... don’t know.

In the end, I had to lie to Jii-chan that I had something urgent and couldn’t bring Kaito’s clothes.

I can’t face Kaito.

I just can’t.

But then... What should I do now?

Dear Diary, 6 Nov

Kaito is well.

That’s all that mattered for now.

Dear Diary, 7 Nov

THIS BAKAITO. DID HE SERIOUSLY SEND A HEIST NOTE RIGHT AFTER HE RECOVERED?!

WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO HIMSELF.

Dear Diary, 10 Nov

It’s been a long time since I went to Kid’s heist.

Tonight’s loot was a golden sapphire, and it was held inside a museum of a very, very wealthy man... And thanks to dad, I got into the museum and avoided being squashed by the crowd that were cheering outside, but I wasn’t allowed to hang out at the main area. I went to the security room instead.

The heist lasted around ten minutes, which was quite typical, based on what I heard from dad. Blackout. Smoke bombs. Escape. But for that ten minutes, dad had spent the entire day with the Task Force and the owner, just to prep enough to take down Kid.

And as for Kaito... he probably used hours and hours to plan, hours and hours to prepare, and hours and hours to do all of everything for this... and yet after a day or two, he would return the loot back in great condition...

Why?

I can’t figure Kaito out . Or Kaitou Kid. All these things... they don’t make sense. And if I can’t understand, I can’t find any reason to forgive Kaito.

But I want to.

I really want to.

Why is he making it hard for me to do so?

Dear Diary, 14 Nov

What should I do?

Dear Diary, 16 Nov

What should I do?

Dear Diary, 20 Nov

What should I do?

Dear Diary, 22 Nov

What should I do?

Dear Diary, 28 Nov

At the rate Kaito is sending his heist notes, I’m pretty sure he’s going to fall sick again, what’s more the weather is getting really cold soon... How does Kaitou Kid keep himself warm in his costume? And that hat... it’s just ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous...

Maybe I should have made a wish when Kaito asked me to on my birthday.

Maybe I should have told him how I feel.

Maybe.

I don’t know anymore.

Dear Diary, 24 Dec

This diary is one year old now.

How time flies so fast...

Oh, and it’s Christmas tomorrow too. Keiko had invited me to her house to celebrate, and I think I’m going to go.

It’s the only place I could go.

Dear Diary, 18 Jan

During the volunteering session today, Kanna-chan told me she missed Kaito and his magic shows.

It’s good to know I’m not the only one too.

But even though I feel that every single day, being told about it by someone else caught me off guard, and I didn’t really know how to response. So I just... told her he will drop by soon...

I think Kanna-chan wasn't convinced though, which isn't strange. I mean... I'm never a great liar after all. But it's ironic how Kaito hasn't seen through the things I've been hiding from him until now.

----

Shinichi reached the last written page of the book.

(But it wasn’t the end. In fact, there wasn’t an end.)

He brushed a finger at the bottom of the page, feeling the creases caused by the countless blotches of dried, water stains...

Shinichi closed the book.

Of course he knew better, but it was easier, and nicer, to think it was simply water and nothing else.

#kaishin #dcmk #detective conan #Kuroba Kaito #kudo shinichi #tabula rasa

28 notes · View notes

junionigiri · 5 years ago

Text

and you say, stay Chapter 6 - What You’re Missing

Chapter summary: Secretary Uraraka goes out on a date.

Rating: T

Thanks to the Director, she sleeps a grand total of 4 hours that night. Seems that no matter what that guy does, she ends up sleep-deprived. If it’s not deadlines, it’s unwarranted marriage proposals, and if it’s neither of those it’s his weird words and his clueless stare and his warm jacket and his infinite mochis and the silly boop at her nose and the best first date she’s ever had.

Granted she doesn’t have another first date to compare this to, except for that one guy in high school who gave her the french fries that came with his burger. Maybe it’s too presumptuous for her to say that it’s the best date ever. But, Director Todoroki closed down MightyLand for a date! And let her ride Space World seven times!!! If another guy existed in the world who could bring her to a private date in an amusement park and then feed her five-star food under the stars please stand up.

Actually, it didn’t have to be as stellar as this one. Anybody else who isn’t her Demon Boss is welcome to make her feel as giddy as she does now. Ochako still hasn’t accepted that she can allow herself to feel this way for her demon-of-a-boss. It doesn’t stop her stupid mouth from smiling the entire night, though.

“Your owner is too much. He totally ruined all the other first dates for me,” she tells Her Very Own Victoria (Victoria II for short) sourly. “And you smell like him so it’s also your fault I couldn’t sleep!”

The doll smiles innocently.

“Humph! You’re lucky that you’re really cute and really soft,” she mutters, burying her face into the cat doll’s plush head for the umpteenth time. She’s so frickin’ fluffy and just the exact size for hugging. Ochako can forgive that she looks like the first cat she’s ever met who has managed to become the bane of her existence.

Mid-hug, she feels something within the doll. Something hollow with edges, hidden within Victoria II’s little jumper. Warily, she inspects the pocket and fishes out a pretty box tied with a ribbon.

A teardrop-shaped moonstone hanging from a delicate silver chain shimmers prettily when she opens the box. It’s nothing like the big or flashy white gold/diamond encrusted pieces the Director gave his previous girlfriends, but Ochako instantly likes it without question. It’s dainty and so, so pretty, glowing a shade of blue that’s just like moonlight.

But she keeps herself from becoming too excited. There’s no note, no labels, nothing. Director Todoroki didn’t mention that he had two gifts for her and there’s no reason why he’d buy her anything like this. Maybe he left it here by accident?

She could have waited to ask him when she visits his penthouse in an hour, but she’s impatient and it might be awkward to tell him he gave her the wrong gift in person. She takes a chance and sends him a casual SMS:

Uraraka Ochako (0455 AM) [image attached]

Uraraka Ochako (0456 AM): this was in Victoria II’s pocket (*✧×✧*)

Director Todoroki (0456 AM): Of course it is. I put it there.

Director Todoroki (0456 AM): Do you like it?

Ochako is surprised for a couple of reasons--one is that he’s up super early, and another is that what, it wasn’t a mistake! Why would the Director give her something like this after treating her to so many other things last night?

Well… it isn’t always easy to see the Director’s intentions, but Ochako has had a nine-year master’s class on that. The most obvious answer is what he said last night--that is, it is simply something to say goodbye, to show his appreciation. Some bosses are just that generous. She’ll happily ignore all the other weird, confusing, (heartracing) things he said and did in favor of that very reasonable explanation.

Uraraka Ochako (0457 AM): Of course, Director!

Uraraka Ochako (0457 AM): I mean, sure do! (=✪ᆽ✪=) Thank you, I really like it!

Uraraka Ochako (0458 AM): Oh, I’m also leaving for the penthouse in a while. Please wait for me.

Director Todoroki (0458 AM): I’ll be fine. You can come to work at seven.

Uraraka Ochako (0459 AM): Are you sure? I’m awake now, it’ll be easy for me to come to you to assist you.

Director Todoroki (0501 AM): I’m sure. Just be ready with our agenda when I get to work.

Director Todoroki (0501 AM): [image attached]

Director Todoroki (0502 AM): By the way, this Victoria is requiring you to wear that necklace today.

The image he sends her shows the living British Shorthair in all her irate glory. She’s loafed up over a futon and frowning enthusiastically at the camera as if she’s aware that the photo is meant for Ochako. She’d chortle at the ridiculousness of it, but then she sees the Director’s long pajama-clad legs and a portion of his bare torso in the background and suddenly her face feels ridiculously hot.

Stupid Director. Despite that she sends him another thank you message and takes another moment staring at the necklace. It’s so pretty over her fingers, is it really okay to just wear it?

She clasps the delicate chain around her neck and stares at the moonstone hanging near her collarbone. Oh no , it looks nice on her. She can wear this to work everyday, and judging by the angry cat’s grimace she really has to.

Well, orders are orders, she thinks coolly as she tries her darndest not to explode in a giddy mess while getting ready for work.

“Ochako-chan?” Mina asks with narrowed eyes as soon as she steps in the office at six thirty in the morning. “You’re late?”

Office hours begin at eight, but the staff of the Office of the Executive Director usually starts their day at six. For Ochako to appear thirty minutes late without the Director is terribly unusual, and immediately everyone’s glaring at her suspiciously.

“Sorry. Traffic. It happens,” Ochako answers, fighting not to avoid everyone’s eyes. “But it’s okay, the Director knows. You guys shouldn’t worry about him being in a bad mood or anything.”

“This is most alarming,” Iida murmurs with a concerned flash of his glasses. “This has only ever happened once in your nine year history with the company! And that was during the big earthquake 5 years ago!”

Kirishima shakes his head. “Nah, she was in the director’s mansion during that one so it doesn’t count. But there was that time when the trains shut down so you had to parkour your way across town to get to work! The Director went Demon-King Mode over that one.”

“Yeah, and then he bought you a car. And then you gave it to Shoji,” Monoma deadpans in sheer, palpable jealousy. “So what, the Director’s gonna buy you another car today? Can you at least drive it once before you give it away?”

Honestly, why does everyone remember every single thing about her work history? “He isn’t going to buy me another car, Monoma.”

“If he does, you lose and I get the car.”

Whatever. “Deal.”

Satisfied, Monoma twirls back to his work and the others follow. All except for Camie, who’s waiting for her at their reception desk outside of the Director’s room. The taller secretary greets her with a coy smile. “Ocha-babes, those stories were cray. Did he really buy you a car?”

Ochako laughs nervously. “Yeah… he didn’t want me to be late ever again, but I can’t just take a car , y’know?”

“Ya. I gotcha,” Camie says with a wink. “That fab necklace tho? Wouldn’t guess that was Directoroki’s style but it’s cute on you so I say, keep that one.”

“Wh-what? No, this isn’t from--”

Maybe the wide-eyed sputtering is more incriminating than anything because Camie’s smile is bordering on shit-eating. So much for her elaborate lie of ordering it online. In any case, it’s too late to defend herself when Director Todoroki himself arrives without warning.

They stand up and bow. “Good morning, Director Todoroki.”

Even though it’s another rare morning where Todoroki had to do all his morning rituals by himself and his tie is a little crooked, Ochako is surprised at just how dapper he looks in a suit and how his hair looks different when it’s styled for work. She wonders why she’s taken aback by him now when Director Todoroki being handsome isn’t really anything new--in fact, it’s a requirement, the product of her hard work on most days. Is it because she didn’t see him at the penthouse today?

There’s an extra split-second his eyes spend searching for the stone over her collarbone, and another for his mouth to quirk upwards in approval. And then she knows exactly why she feels so weird.

“Secretary Utsushimi, confirm our next meeting with Takami-san from the Chairman’s Office. We need to see them before noon today. Don’t take no for an answer.”

“Gotcha, Director.” Camie is on it in a flash, that knowing, dangerous smile never leaving her lips as she dials the number. Ochako tries her best not to shudder.

“Secretary Uraraka.”

“Yes, Director.” After years and years of serving him, that’s all she needs to know what she has to do next. Gathering the day’s schedule, priority documents, and urgent letters, she follows him into the office.

Three days pass by them in the usual whirlwind of meetings and gruelling office work. Thankfully Director Todoroki has stopped acting as strange as he did during their private goodbye party, and Ochako has been able to focus on her work as she usually does. With the art center opening looming closer and closer and the day of work they’ll lose tomorrow for the annual mandatory Company Day, lord knows they need it.

There’s lots to be done, but on that particular day, Ochako is working double-time. She even skips lunch in favor of munching on just a couple of strawberry chocolates while she drafted letters at the speed of light. By 5 PM she is 95% done, so it’s worth it.

She lets herself drink her second cup of coffee in the office pantry next to Camie when Mina wobbles in, tired as hell herself. “Move over, ladies. I need coffee and I need it now,” she slurs hoarsely.

“Gurl, here you go. Rest. Relax. Lubricate.” Camie pushes a freshly made cappuccino over to her, which the pink-haired girl takes gratefully.

“Thanks gurl! You the best! Endeavor Secretaries are like, a different breed of human, ” Mina says with a sigh. “I haven’t seen the two of you get up from your desks the entire day, how are you guys still alive? ”

“Nah, I was just trynna keep up with Ocha-babes. She’s like, in beast mode today.”

Ochako laughs awkwardly. “Sorry, Camie-chan! I told you you could take a break anytime. It’s just that I have to leave early today, so…”

Mina makes a blubbering noise over her coffee. “Oh gurl wait. Is that today!?”

Ochako beams. “Yep!”

Camie looks at them one after the other. “Uh. What’s today, fam? Are you winning the lottery or something?”

“No, ~duh~. Well, maybe that’s one way to put it? The Lottery of Love. ” Mina snorts. “Our dear angel secretary here is finally going on a date!”

“Oh. Worm.” Camie’s smile is both coy and intrigued. Ochako can almost hear her thoughts ( I thought you and Directoroki was bonin’, but okay ) but all she says is, “That’s lit, fam~get it, gurl, I’m rootin’ for ya~”

Ochako shakes her head. “Nah, it’s just a blind date. I don’t even know if we’re gonna get along, so...”

Suddenly more energized than the half-dead state she was in when she walked in, Mina vibrates in excitement. “Oh my god, Ochako--I know the guy, okay, and like, I won’t spoil anything but I’m super sure that the next time we talk about it is the two of you inviting us to your wedding. So you better not be late, because--”

A shattering noise interrupts them from behind.

“--Bakugou’s as impatient as the Demon-- aaaaah, Director, you’re bleeding, what happened?!?! ”

“Ah.” Director Todoroki was, for one reason or another, looming behind them and holding a designer cup from Hermes. Was. Now it’s just shards of 100,000 yen ceramic along with blood and steaming green tea, which he regards with cold nonchalance.

“I broke my cup,” he replies blankly.

Ochako is the first to jump to his aid. She zooms past the other girls so she can take all the broken pieces off his hand and examine all the cuts up close. “I can see that! Director, what were you thinking?! Be careful! Oh my gosh you’re really bleeding!”

There are exactly four cuts, the longest of which is less than 1 cm, nothing deep, nothing that can leave a scar. Good, good. The tea hasn’t burned his right hand, which is a miracle. “Director, you’ll be fine. We just need to disinfect this quickly. I’ll bring you to the infirmary right now.”

Out of nowhere, her hands feel warm. Not from the tea or anything, but from something intense starts to make her skin tingle. When she looks up, Director Todoroki is staring at the point of contact of their hands, his gaze unreadable.

“... sweet,” Camie mumbles behind them.

The moment breaks. Ochako (and judging from the chill behind her, Director Todoroki as well) glare at her, while Mina gives her a sharp, meaningful nudge to the ribs.

“The cappuccino, I mean. It’s super sweet. The power of stevia, amirite,” the other secretary explains, smiling away the pain at her side. “Ocha-babes, the infirmary’s too far away. You can take care of Directoroki in the office, right? We gots a first-aid kit there.”

Ochako doesn’t appreciate the way her eyebrows raise, but Director Todoroki does not seem opposed to the idea. She leads the way back into the office, pulls out the first-aid kit, and treats his wounds over his plush office sofa. “Director, I know you’re clumsy sometimes but how did this even happen?! Should we return this set of tea cups? They might be defective...”

“No, this was an accident. There’s absolutely. No. Problem,” the Director grits out. He seems annoyed for an entirely different unspoken reason, but if he isn’t going to say anything, Ochako isn’t going to pry.

A few gentle dabs of disinfectant and a few bandaids later, the Director’s hand is looking better. If he needs to be in a photoshoot within the next 24 hours she’ll just have to tell the photographer to hide his right hand somehow. “There. Good as new. Well… almost.”

Todoroki flexes his hand experimentally. “It is. You can get back to work now.”

“Oh, about that…” Ochako straightens up and tries to keep her face from being too excited. “I’m almost done for the day, Director. All I need is your signature for this letter here…”

She shows him the English-language letter she drafted for him earlier. He looks through it with a scowl, taking longer than usual to search for any errors. She’s confident that there are none, though, and it is almost begrudging how he picks up his fountain pen to scrawl the characters of his name at the bottom.

“Thank you, Director,” she says with a bow. “Now… since all my work is done, I wanted to ask if I can leave early.”

Todoroki regards her with another fresh, cold scowl. “All of it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen that report from General Affairs yet.”

“You gave that assignment to Secretary Utsushimi. But, Shinsou from General Affairs submitted it this morning. You already replied to them.”

Todoroki hums. “How about that meeting with the Belgium group?”

“Monoma-kun and I have sent you and all the other division heads the agenda,” she answers confidently. “You also replied to us already.”

“And the marketing report for--”

“--there are corrections to be done over at Chief Midoriya’s office. Asui-san is taking care of it.”

“... Victoria.”

She blinks. “She’s admitted overnight at Dr. Koda’s clinic for an executive check-up, isn’t she?”

Todoroki huffs. “... well. It seems that you’re truly done for the day.”

Ochako raises her eyebrows expectantly. “... so…”

He stares at her for a few, strange moments. She feels his eyes scan hers, and then the necklace around her neck. He obviously isn’t happy for some reason, but his mood shifts a little seeing the stone over her collarbone.

“All right,” he says. Ochako wonders if she imagined him mumbling, you win. “You are dismissed.”

Ochako smiles and bows as she leaves the office. “Thank you, Director. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Oh my god. I pulled it off. Feeling adequately victorious, she takes her phone out and sends someone a message. I’m on my way. See you in twenty minutes!

She makes it to the Dagobah Seaside Park in eighteen minutes. Normally she’d be wary to appear so eager, but Kirishima-kun and Mina-chan were pretty pushy about her not being late, so she rushed there as quickly as she could. She only had time to fix her hair a little as she stood near the bench where she’s supposed to meet her date. She fishes out her phone just to make sure that she hasn’t missed this guy, but then an abrasive voice calls out to her from behind.

“Oi.”

Turning swiftly, she looks to the source of the rasp. “Oh… Bakugou Katsuki-san?” she asks cautiously.

“Yeah. Who else?”

He’s got the most intense pair of red eyes she’s ever seen on a person, and the fluffiest blonde hair. The scowl on his face looks as angry as it does in all the photos that Kirishima has shown her. Even the rasp of his voice is exactly the same as it sounds in all his Youtube videos. It’s impossible for her to mistake the guy for anyone else, and he knows it.

“Yeah, who else?” she agrees with a laugh that she hopes doesn’t sound too uncomfortable. “Nice to meet you! I’m Uraraka Ochako.”

“I figured. You’re the only roundface in this shithole,” he says with a shrug.

“ Roundface?! ” she repeats, after an affronted pause.

“Yeah.” Bakugou has no reservations at all to peer in closer to her face, as if examining an alien life form. “Shit. I thought Shitty-Hair was shittin’ me when he showed me that picture of you stuffing your face with beef ribs. I didn’t think anyone’s face would be this round. What the fuck. You’re like a fuckin’ hamster.”

“Hahaha, oookay.” Ochako steps back away from his fingers which definitely has ill intentions against her cheeks. “Well, I dunno what to tell you, I was born with ‘em. How about you, were you born with Pomeranian fur on your head?”

She definitely doesn’t want to be rude, but he’s managed to say so many curse words and vague insults within the first five seconds of meeting her, and it’s weird.

Bakugou scowls at first, which she expected, but then he laughs--a rough, barking sound. “Damn, talking shit off the bat? To me?! I underestimated you, cheeks, you’re tougher than you look.”

Ochako scrunches up her face. “Not used to it?”

“Nah.” Bakugou smirks. “That means you can keep up with me. Let’s go. Wasting fuckin’ daylight here.”

Ochako follows him along the boardwalk and into a small, hip restaurant at the beachfront. Kirishima must have told him about her fear of fire, because he tells her that he would have brought her to this grill he liked that served ‘good spicy shit on skewers.’ He assures her however that ‘this dump isn’t that bad and there’s no fire.’

“Oi, Soysauce-Face! Get us a table,” Bakugou barks as soon as they step in the establishment.

A tall, plain guy whom he addressed as ‘Soysauce-Face’ turns to him with an exasperated look that turns into a smile when he sees Ochako cowering behind her handbag. “Oi, Bakugou! Date night, huh? I didn’t think you had the balls to go through with it.”

”Go die,” Bakugou grumbles. He doesn’t even wait for the guy to take them to their seats and just picks the nicest booth with a view of the ocean, tossing out the little reserved signage on it without remorse. Meanwhile the guy, whose name is Sero according to his nameplate, follows her with a menu.

“So… Uraraka, huh?” Sero grins after she introduces herself. “You’re Kirishima’s friend from the office. Well, it’s been ten minutes and you haven’t run away screaming from Bakugou yet, so I guess it means the date’s going well.”

“Shut up, Soy Boy,” Bakugou grumbles. “Get us some fuckin’ ramen already. Roundface is starving.”

So, from the first few moments of the date, Ochako can already pick out things about Bakugou that definitely leave much to be desired. The most obvious of them is his potty mouth and his staunch refusal to call anyone by their actual names. Even though ‘Roundface’ and ‘Angelface’ are better than the names he called his friends (apart from the rude names he called Kirishima and Sero, he called Mina ‘Raccoon-Eyes,’ and there were two others in the group called ‘Pikashit’ and ‘Ears’), it’s definitely putting a damper on the entire dating experience.

Okay, so that’s the biggest problem with Bakugou. The other things, she admits, might just be her being picky. Like Bakugou ordering for them without asking her what she liked. Bakugou scowling at everything. Bakugou’s tendency to scream when he’s calling for Sero’s attention. Bakugou picking a place that’s super crowded and not at all private and intimate. Bakugou only being kinda tall but not really that tall, unlike Director Todoroki--

--He drapes his coat around her easily. He’s much taller than her and has wider shoulders, so naturally she’s--

Wait, Ochako thinks in alarm, Where did that come from?

“Oi. What’s eatin’ you, Cheeks?” he grumbles as she literally shakes her head free of any invasive thoughts about the Director.

“Nothing,” she laughs awkwardly. “Just that, um, this ramen’s really spicy, huh?”

“Hah? That shit is not spicy.” To demonstrate his point, he dumps another handful of ghost peppers in his. “Mine’s better. Try it.”

Ochako rolls her eyes. “Thanks, but I’m not interested in getting hemorrhoids.”

“Roundface, what the fuck. Don’t talk about that kinda shit in front of food.”

Okay, so maybe she’s just picky. If she ignores all those things, this date is actually pretty fun. Despite all the profanities, Bakugou is an interesting person to talk to. He has a lot of stories as extreme investigative journalists tend to have, but to her surprise he asks her things about herself and almost seems (begrudgingly) interested. Ochako can’t imagine why--she’s just an average secretary of some hotshot executive downtown--but somehow she’s telling him about her interest in astrophysics and judo classes at the Gunhead Dojo, and suddenly she seems pretty interesting herself.

“Huh. And here I thought you were some fragile chick,” he says with a smirk. “You know you gotta prove it now, right? On our second date, we should try to beat each other’s asses or something.”

“You got weird kinks, mister,” she says with a playful look of disgust.

“What, you gonna say no?”

“Well… you look like you could use a good ass-kicking. Let me think about it.”

He laughs gruffly again, and is it weird how comfortable she feels? He doesn’t seem to mind when she acts like herself.

And he really is handsome, the way bad boys are handsome--rough, headstrong, the exact polar opposite of the quiet, refined grace that Director Todo--

“Seriously cheeks, if you got hemorrhoids I’ll take your ass to a CVS or something.”

Ochako puffs her cheeks. Dammit, she’s finally spending time with a guy who isn’t the Director, she has to be better than this! “Let’s stop talking about hemorrhoids. Don’t talk about that kinda shit in front of food.”

Bakugou grins. “Weirdo. What kinda office lady talks like that?”

… It’ll take a lot of getting used to, but she guesses that the two of them can get along, after all.

Oh, although there is another thing to be concerned about--all the looks they’re getting in the restaurant. She should have expected this since she is with Bakugou Katsuki, the infamous independent journalist who’s known for exposing corruption and organized crime and living to scream about it. She’s still surprised when the first set of fans come up to their table asking for an autograph, though.

“B-Bakugou Katsuki-san?” a timid college kid asks, shaking in his boots. “I don’t mean to bother you, but I’m a big fan of Ground Zero , and that expose you did on Detnerat Corp was--”

He clicks his tongue. “Piss off, nerd. Go die.”

“Bakugou-kun!”

“What?”

Ochako is about to defend the poor fan, who is shaking even more in his boots. But then the kid bows, looking happier than a lark. “Th… thank you for the words, Bakushinchi! Oh my god, dude, did you see that? Bakugou-fuckin’-Katsuki cussed me out like I’m trash!!! Did you get it on video?!”

Dumbfounded, Ochako watches as the fan gushes about the experience to his other friends. She looks at Bakugou oddly. “Okay, that was weird.”

“Tch. Yeah. All fuckin’ nerds is the same.” He dumps his chopsticks on the table, followed by a few crisp bills from his wallet. “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”

Ochako doesn’t argue. It’s about time they left anyway--has it really been three hours since they started talking? Sero waves at them with a smile that’s all too exasperated as they leave his restaurant.

They move on to a cafe that’s definitely quieter and less crowded than Sero’s. There are very few people giving them interested looks, but no-one looks like they’re going to bother them. Ochako gets a giant strawberry parfait while Bakugou frowns at her over his espresso.

“Tch. You’re gonna get diabetes,” the irate blonde grumbles.

“I’ll live,” she says with a happy sigh. “Gosh, strawberries are the best. And look how pretty it is! You don’t know…”

With the taste of strawberries lingering in her mouth, she follows him... Flowers of all colors surround their feet, glowing ethereally under the moonlight. The city below, the stars above. It’s a beautiful night.

“... what you’re missing,” she finishes lamely. Suddenly, the parfait doesn’t taste that good anymore, and she only has Director Todoroki in her mind. As she has intermittently, for most of the night.

She sucks at dates, doesn't she.

“I’ll live,” he says with a scowl. “Anyways, you told me that you had something to ask me.”

Oh, right. Her lackluster dating history aside, there’s another important reason why she agreed to this blind date at all--the fact that Bakugou Katsuki is a brilliant investigator.

Suddenly pensive, Ochako puts her dessert spoon down and takes a deep breath for courage. “Right. Um, so I know that we just met and I shouldn’t ask any big favors, but--”

Bakugou clicks his tongue so sharply he could have cut her bangs. “Just spit it out, Pink-Cheeks!”

“Okay, geez.” Again, Ochako takes a deep breath. It isn’t easy telling anybody this, because the hazy memories have an alarming tendency to make her hands shake. “There’s an incident that I’ve been trying to get information on, but over the years I’ve come up empty. Since you’re good at this stuff, I wonder if you can help me find it. Oh, but it might be impossible--”

“Unless you’re makin’ shit up, I’ll get that, no problem. What, you think I can’t? ” With an insulted grunt, he says, “What incident are you talkin’ about?”

“I’m not making it up,” she says, although there’s a tiny sliver of doubt at the center of her heart. Who knows how much of that did or didn’t happen when her memories are so bad? “There used to be a neighborhood near MightyLand in the nineties that’s demolished now. Back in 1995, a fire broke out from one of the houses there.”

“... a fire, huh.”

Ochako nods. “A big one, too. I… don’t remember why, but I was sure it was... arson. I’ve looked for articles about arson or accidental fires or anything at all in that year, but apart from records of Endeavor buying out that land years later, there’s nothing that comes out.”

She had considered that no-one would care about fires in a neighborhood filled with poor people, but it’s frustrating that there’s absolutely zero evidence of it happening.

Bakugou, unexpectedly, has her rapt attention. “Endeavor bought out that land, huh.”

“Yes,” she answers carefully. “But years after that incident. From what I know, they eventually gave that land to the Might Group, which they used to expand the amusement park. It’s all legitimate.”

He rubs his stubbled chin thoughtfully. “Ya got a clue about the people in that fire?”

Ochako is hesitant to say anything about that. But she relents, “I’m sure there was… a woman there. And a boy. Probably five years old at the time. Um, I’m not sure about the others.”

“Huh.” The interested glint in the blonde’s eyes intensifies like ember. “Were they mother and son?”

“Um.” Come to think of it, even if her instincts told her they were mother and son, suddenly she’s not so sure. She can’t even remember what they looked like anymore. “I… don’t remember--I mean, I don’t know who they are, so it’s hard to tell.”

“So I take it you didn’t check for records on kidnapping or anything like that.”

“... no.”

She can hear his thoughts racing a mile a minute. “Yeah, sure. I’ll get you that story, Roundface. Fuckin’ easy.”

She exhales in relief. “Thanks so much! It’s been on my mind for so long, it’s driving me crazy.”

It’s also a relief for her that Bakugou doesn’t ask her any questions as to why she’s interested in the incident, although that’s a little strange in itself. Either he’s figured out things on his own, or he expects to know as the investigation goes on. But if he asked, she’s going to give him an honest answer. Anything, as long as she gets some clarity after twenty-four years of wondering.

“... oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t even offer you any compensation or anything.”

Bakugou shrugs. “Ain’t interested in your dirty corporation money. But there is somethin’ you can do for me.”

She should have known. The mischievous smile on his face and the menacing twitch of his hand going for her face is all bad news. “You are not pinching my cheeks on the first date, Bakugou Katsuki.”

“No?” he snickers. “Newsflash, Angelface. I do whatever the fuck I want.”

Outside that particular cafe, Hagakure Tooru, the overworked secretary of Marketing Division Chief Midoriya Izuku, is grumbling all the way home. “Tsuyu-chan, I’m so tired! How have we lasted in Marketing for this long?!”

Tsuyu makes a sound that sounds exactly like a frog’s croak. It’s a weird mannerism that gets her a lot of weird looks, but Tooru reckons that all brilliant people had weird mannerisms and that’s probably the price to pay. Anyways, Tsuyu-chan is cute when she does it. “It’s super tough, Tooru-chan, but we get by. Besides, Midoriya-chan is a good boss who always knows what to do, so that makes it a lot easier.”

“Oof… he’s good all right. Too good,” Tooru huffs in exasperation. “I mess up at least once a day! And he’s always so nice about it. Sometimes I wish he’d just tell me off, y’know? I’m starting to get embarrassed!”

Tsuyu chuckles. “Just keep doing your best, Tooru-chan.”

“I aaam! But I know he’d like a secretary like Ochako-chan. Too bad that she’s the demon Director’s--”

Oh, speak of the devil?? Or, the angel, in this case. “Isn’t that Ochako-chan in that cafe over there?!”

On a table near the glass windows of a trendy cafe, Uraraka Ochako sits across a blonde guy with nice arm muscles. She seems to be smiling at him. “Oh. You’re right, ribbit. ”

“And on a date?!”

Tsuyu nods. “It’s nice that she finally has some free time since she’s resigning. Anyways, we should…”

Click.

Tsuyu looks at her with wide, unbelieving eyes. “Did you just take a picture of her and her date?”

“Uh, yeah?? I mean, look at how sweet they are! That guy’s touching her face so tenderly~”

“I wouldn’t call that touching,” the green-haired girl comments, pointing to the picture. The blonde guy’s obviously pinching her cheeks like dough. “And I think you should delete that photo. We should respect their privacy.”

She chuckles as she presses send. “Too late~! I’ve sent it to our group chat with Ochako-chan! Aw, Tsuyu-chan, don’t look so worried, I promise that this is just for the three of us!”

Tsuyu croaks. “That would be okay… except you sent it to Midoriya-chan, ribbit .”

Tooru does a double take on her phone screen. Oh, shit! “Wait, I can delete this--” she cries, just as a little checkmark at the bottom of the photo appears with the word read. “Oh noooooo! Not again!”

“Ribbit,” Tsuyu sighs in exasperation.

At around the same time, Shouto is drinking with Midoriya at his penthouse. They have their usual glasses of whisky between them. Sato comes by with a plate of zarusoba for him and katsudon for his green-haired friend. Shoji comes back from Dr. Koda’s to tell him that Victoria is doing splendidly. It’s a pleasant, stress free night and there’s absolutely nothing in Shouto’s mind that’s bothering him.

“You’re awfully relaxed,” Midoriya observes with a curious smile.

He sips his whiskey with sheer ease. “I am. All our projects are going along well, and Victoria’s healthy. Why wouldn’t I be relaxed?”

He laughs. “Uraraka-san’s blind date’s going on right now, isn’t it? I’d have thought you’d be, um, curious about it by now.”

“Why would you assume that?”

A muscle visibly twitches under Midoriya’s eye. “Well, you know, ‘cause you’ve been so dead set on wooing her so she’d marry you? And you made me do all those crazy things to help you? Not that I’m complaining about how crazy stressful it was or anything, but…”

Shouto cuts him off with a look of nonchalance. “Even so, I’m not worried about Secretary Uraraka going out on a single date with an unremarkable person. Objectively speaking, there’s no way that an ordinary person will interest her after our date.”

“Well, you may be right. But she wants ordinary, so I mean, I’d be a little worried.”

Midoriya is always expecting the worst. Shouto, however, is completely confident in this one. No ordinary man can do all the ordinary things she wants the way Shouto did them for her. “This date will end earlier than either of them planned. I’m sure of it.”

“Well, okay.” Midoriya’s phone vibrates on the table at that exact moment. He makes a surprised sound as he sees the screen. “Oh. Secretary Hagakure sent me a picture… huh, hottie alert, three bomb emojis…?”

“... you allow your secretary to speak to you that way?” Shouto asks, genuinely curious.

Midoriya laughs awkwardly. “N… no, she must have sent this by accident again. I mean, it’s fine, one time she sent me a video of Kirishima-kun doing push-ups at the helipad at Endeavor Tower… oh wait, I shouldn’t have told you that--”

Shouto shows him a face that just does not care, and Midoriya’s relieved for that. “Anyway, just gimme a sec to delete this… wait. This is Uraraka-san and--”

Shouto watches all the blood drain from Midoriya’s face, which happens in an impressive span of 0.75 milliseconds. “Is this… Kacchan?! ”

Shouto takes the phone from Midoriya’s grasp before either of them realize it. On the screen, Secretary Uraraka sits at a nondescript cafe. She’s wearing the same outfit she wore in his office hours ago, with the moonstone gleaming blue over her pale collarbone.

Across from her, an ordinary blonde man--no, an ordinary blonde punk --is reaching over and pinching her cheeks. The guy is smiling. Uraraka’s got an uncomfortable grimace that can easily be mistaken as a smile.

What the hell is this.

“T… Todoroki-kun, my phone, you’re destroying my phone--” Midoriya pleads from somewhere next to him.

How dare this… whatever the hell this guy is. Pinching his secretary’s cheeks familiarly and making her uncomfortable. Unforgivable. “What the hell is a Kacchan?”

Midoriya yelps as the world rumbles around him. “Th-that’s a guy I knew from childhood! Kacchan--I mean, Bakugou-kun… he’s that reporter who does those exposes! Remember, he did that one about Detnerat a couple years back?”

Ah, that one. He and his team exposed that the company used their technology to spy on their consumers for all sorts of delicate data. They were involved in a lot of unsavory things--organized crime, graft, bribery, cults. It was big news that led to their downfall and indirectly helped Endeavor Inc. prosper. Shouto thought it was impressive before, but now...

“That is not an ordinary man. Why would Uraraka be with him?”

Now, he feels threatened. Another person is out to get someone that belongs to him . And for once, he isn’t sure about the outcome.

“I… I don’t know,” Midoriya yelps. “Wh… where are you going, Todoroki-kun?”

Before he realizes it, the quiet Shouji and the alarmed Midoriya are chasing him as he’s on the way out of the door. He clicks his tongue and rushes out of the penthouse in irritated silence.

Ochako massages her cheeks in irritation. “You really went overboard there, Bakugou-kun,” she grumbles.

He sneers at her. “Your fuckin’ fault for having marshmallow cheeks.”

Bakugou doesn’t have a car, just a motorbike. He offered to take Ochako home on it, but it’s too scary. If she got in an accident, she wouldn’t be able to participate in Company Day, and Director Todoroki wouldn’t be happy about his office starting the games with a big disadvantage.

They’re waiting for the Uber to come pick her up. Bakugou clicks his tongue in distaste. “Tch. That icyhot bastard. Shitty Hair and Raccoon Eyes told me all about how he got you dangling on a string.”

She laughs lightly. “No, he’s not as bad as it sounds.”

He scowls. “Yeah he is. I get it if you’re just a chickenshit who’s scared to die on a motorbike, but you don’t wanna ride with me ‘cause you’re afraid of disappointing that half-and-half for fuckin’ Company Day. Your shitty boss has got you fuckin’ whipped .”

That almost sounds like a valid point. Puffing her cheeks in annoyance, she mumbles, “I’m also scared that you’ll kill us both. Don’t get me wrong.”

“Whatever.” Bakugou mindlessly fishes out a cigarette from his pocket. “That Uber’s taking his time. I’m gonna give that bastard a piece of--”

When the lighter comes out of his pocket, Ochako’s heart stops. She watches, frozen, as his thumb grazes the wheel of the lighter, threatening to form sparks. The fire’s already starting in her head even before it does in reality. She wants to stop him, but all she can manage is a squeak.

He hears her frightened noise and looks at her with alarmed red eyes. “Shit, I forgot.” He raises both his hands in the air. “I’m not lighting anything up, okay, calm your--”

It happens very fast: one moment Bakugou is talking, the next a hand decorated with bandaids appears out of nowhere and shoves him right in the face. He manages a swear word in before he attacks the person by pulling on his tie and swinging a fist.

The fist misses--barely. The other person steps backward, fist drawn back and mismatched eyes absolutely livid. Ochako finally processes what’s going on.

“Director Todoroki?!”

True enough, Todoroki Shouto is there on the sidewalk, eyes glowing and aura so threatening she swears she sees a mountain of ice looming behind him. He’s got a hand on Bakugou’s collar, while Bakugou has one hand on his. They both burn with obvious murderous intent.

“Half-and-half bastard!” Bakugou grits out, struggling against his grasp. “The fuck was that for?! You wanna die?!”

With a cold, cold voice, Todoroki answers, “You were about to send my secretary into a panic attack. I merely did what I had to do.”

She knew about the Director’s temper intimately. He’s calm like a bomb hiding in the lull of the ocean--cold, controlled, and terrifying in that way. But this… this is different. It only lasted for a few seconds when his hand landed over Bakugou, but Ochako saw it: unfiltered, uncontrollable rage.

For a moment, Ochako thought she was looking at Todoroki Enji.

Her instincts scream at her to stop him before it’s too late. “Director, I’m fine! Please don’t hurt him!”

“Tch, who’s hurting who? I’ll kick his ass!”

Thankfully, despite Bakugou’s rant, the Director listens to her and lets Bakugou go. The frightening chill in his eyes gradually ebbs, slowly, slowly. It takes a few moments before it’s completely gone, leaving a mildly confused look in his eyes that tells her he isn’t sure how he got there either.

“Secretary Uraraka--”

“--Kacchan! Todoroki-kun! Stop!!!”

Chief Midoriya comes running out from a car somewhere, followed by an alarmed Shouji. Ochako is left wondering what a Kacchan is, until she sees how the blonde’s face sours instantly.

“Shit, here we go,” Bakugou mutters, rubbing his face violently with one hand.

“Ohmygod I was so worried that both of you were hurt I didn’t know what was going on Kacchan I swear but we found out you were with Uraraka-san by accident and Todoroki-kun got worried and I swear I tried to stop him but--”

Ochako can hardly process a single word Chief Midoriya is saying. The other men are also starting to appear pretty overwhelmed about the word vomit accompanied by an onslaught of tears. Bakugou, in particular, is beginning to tick like a dynamite about to blow.

“--and if you were going to fight in the street Shouji-kun and I were ready to punch you guys just so you calm down but I’m glad you didn’t and--”

“Shut the fuck up, shitty Deku!”

This time, Bakugou launches himself toward the murmuring Chief, who gasps and flinches away. Luckily, the stoic Shouji successfully separates the two of them. Amidst the curses of the angry blonde, he turns questioningly to Director Todoroki. “Sir.”

The Director merely shakes his head. “We’re done. Secretary Uraraka, you’re coming with me.”

Before she can stop him, the Director’s grip is already on her wrist and she’s being dragged to his car. “Wait, Director--”

“Oi, asshole.” Bakugou’s stare is dark and unforgiving when he regards Todoroki again. “You think you can just walk away from me after trying to beat the shit outta me? I can charge you for assault, y’know.”

Director Todoroki gives him a look that’s just as dark. “Are you threatening me? Is this the part where you’re going to blackmail me for money?”

“Don’t insult me,” he growls. “Fuckin’ rich boy, you think throwing your dirty money around makes your problems go away? You think people can be bought and treated like property?”

He’s staring at the point where Todoroki’s got a hold on Ochako’s wrist. The Director notices and pulls Ochako even closer to him, far from Bakugou’s reach.

Midoriya turns to Bakugou. “Kacchan… please. Director Todoroki isn’t going to do it again,” he whispers fearfully.

Bakugou rubs his face with his hand. “Shut up, Deku. I’m not gonna ruin your shitty boss. But remember that I can if I want to.” He doesn’t hide the look of disgust in his eyes seeing Ochako behind the Director, but he still calls out to her as if he wasn’t there: “Uraraka, I’ll call you. I’m outta here.”

“A… all right, Bakugou-kun. Thank you,” she manages to say as he leaves, even when her wrist starts to feel like it’s freezing.

There’s a look in Bakugou’s eyes that tells her that he plans to come back for her soon. For her not to worry, he’ll get her out of there too, because suddenly he needs to do it for her. It doesn’t last long, though, as he shoves his helmet on and rides off on his motorcycle, not looking back once.

Todoroki Shouto’s grip on her suddenly feels like a ball and chain. As they walk to his car, he doesn’t let her go.

#bnha fic #todoroki shouto/uraraka ochako #todochako #kacchako #my writings #oh a love triange #second lead syndrome

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kaibagirl007 · 5 years ago

Text

Costume Conundrum

(Halloween time story set in my RP verse with @xstar-dustroleplayx)

Mokuba often stopped by Kaiba Corp on his way home from school. He would check-in with his brother to find out the other’s plans for each evening. Normally they would vary between: working late, working very late, and working extremely late.

Recently though Mokuba had noticed a change as less and less overtime was being worked. In fact, his brother was now more likely to be home late due to spending time with his boyfriend, Aqua, instead. Not that Mokuba minded in the least as they also spent plenty of time with him too.

Sometimes even Aqua’s twin, Yami, joined them in one big happy family get-together. And on rare occasions,- when she was staying with her brothers instead of their parents,- their sister Brunhilde would also join in the fun. Mokuba liked her, she was very much his ‘partner in crime’ whenever they got together. It had been a while since he’d last seen her though. He missed her, sometimes even more than he missed his brother working late.

Knowing his brother would likely disapprove of the game he was currently playing, Mokuba turned off his Switch as he exited the elevator and made his way to the CEO’s office. He’d barely had chance to enter before his brother’s boyfriend began talking to him.

“Good news, Mokuba!” Aqua excited called out from where he sat perched on the desk’s corner. “Bunny WILL be spending Halloween with me and Yami after all.”

“She will?” He felt a rush of excitement at being about to see Brunhilde once more. “That’s awesome!”

“I take it you’ll be inviting her to go trick-or-treating with you and Yugi’s gang?” Kaiba enquired before taking a sip of the freshly made coffee his boyfriend had brought him just moments before his brother’s arrival.

“Of course!” Mokuba beamed as he reached for the hot chocolate waiting for him on his brother’s desk and sank down into the spare chair ready too drink it. “Unless you plan for her to stay with you guys or Yami?”

“She’d prefer to be with you.” Aqua assured the youngster that he’d get to spend quality time with his sister. “Once you’re done trick-or-treating though, I’m sure you’d both be welcomed to join us at the orphanage’s party. Right, Teddy Bear?”

With his mouth full of coffee, Kaiba simply nodded.

“All right! This is gonna be the best Halloween ever!” Mokuba stated with wide excited eyes. “What about Yami though? What are his plans?”

Aqua’s face brightened as he proudly announced, “He has a date.”

“Another one?” Kaiba asked sceptically. “With the same guy as before?”

“Uh huh. This will be their third date. I told him that for their fourth one, they should do a double date with us so that we can get to meet this Josh guy for ourselves.”

“Hmm… I ‘guess’ we could…”

Guess? The joy seemed to drain from Aqua’s face at the lack of enthusiasm in his boyfriend’s response.

Noticing the sudden change in mood, Mokuba placed his half-full mug on the desk and diverted the topic. “Do you two have costumes picked out for Halloween?”

“Not yet.” Kaiba responded to his brother’s query. His eyes momentarily lingered on Aqua’s gloomy face before turning to Mokuba as he continued to talk. “Whatever we decide though, it shouldn’t be anything monstrous. There will be kids there of all ages and some of the younger ones are easily scared. I don’t want any of them having nightmares as a result of the party.” Another glance towards his boyfriend saw the somber look still on his face. He reached out for Aqua’s hand and gave a gentle squeeze.

Aqua mustered a soft smile in response to his boyfriend’s efforts to ease the unintentional hurt. He knew the other hadn’t meant to upset him. Clearly the idea of a double date wasn’t something to be mentioned from then on though.

“Nothing scary, huh? Well, then how about going as characters from a kids movie or something?”

“That would work.” Kaiba nodded at his brother’s suggestion. “Not sure who or from what exactly…”

“You watched Wreck-It Ralph with them a few weeks back when you arranged for that retro gaming weekend at the orphanage. You could go as Ralph and Aqua as Felix. It’d be perfect, bro! You know, since you both have the heights and personalities covered already by just being yourselves.”

Laughter filled the office, courtesy of Aqua. He calmed himself before leaning across the desk upon which he sat and nuzzled his boyfriend’s cheek. “Mokuba’s right. You’re a gigantic, ill-tempered softy with a big heart.”

“Someone has to be,” Kaiba smirked as he pulled back slightly so that he could catch a glimpse of those now joyful ruby eyes. “We can’t all be small bundles of optimism and sunshine like you are.”

“See what I mean?” Mokuba giggled as he watched the pair share a quick kiss. “Perfect.”

“It’s a plausible idea.” Kaiba stated as he and Aqua straighten up again. He was willing to go through with it if the other was. “What do you think, Muffin?”

“Me? Well, I… er… I very much like the sound of cosplaying as a couple-“

“Ralph and Felix it is.”

Aqua’s heart sank at seeing the speed Kaiba seemed to disregard what he had said. He at least thought the other might have given his idea some thought before its dismissal. Obviously not, so what was the point in even asking? He could feel himself starting to get agitated as he watched Kaiba search online for their costumes but said nothing. He didn’t want to push his boyfriend beyond a comfort zone if that was the issue at hand, especially after the other’s birthday surprise a few nights ago. Instead he turned the conversation back to Mokuba. “What about you? Do you have your costume sorted?”

“I sure do,” he beamed with a thin layer of chocolate residue on his top lip. “I’m going as Kaibaman. Seto’s already had adjustments made to one of his KaibaLand outfits for me. I also figured that I could take Narce trick-or-treating with me since people would be less likely to ask questions if they assumed she was just part of my cosplay… Anyhoo, what are your plans for this evening, bro?”

“I’ve got a conference call to make with a client in another timezone,” the CEO explained as he viewed the costume he intended to purchase for himself which included lots of padding to bulk out the top half of his body. “I won’t be done here until 7pm onwards. You should both head off without me. In fact, Roland will be leaving shortly too, if you go ask him I’m sure he’ll give you a ride home.”

“Good idea.” Mokuba nodded and got up from his chair with the intention of going in search of Roland. “Promise me you won’t work too late though, bro. Say be home before ten?”

“I will be.” Kaiba assured. “I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to be.”

Satisfied with the answer he’d received, Mokuba bid his brother goodbye and left the office.

“I should get going too,” Aqua stated. Slowly he got down from the desk and began to move away. “See you tomorrow.”

“Aquamarine… Before you leave, I’d like a quick word.”

Hearing the seriousness of the other’s tone, Aqua stopped with the door handle in his hold and turned around to look back towards the desk. “Yes, Seto?”

“I’m sorry if I unintentionally upset you earlier.” From the response he’d gotten, Kaiba could sense the other was still hurting a little, hence why he gave the apology. Even if neither of them were to fault, he was willing to take the blame if it brightened his boyfriend’s mood. “I want you to know that I’m not opposed to having a double date with your brother. It’s understandable you’re excited for him, but if Yami is as wary about dating as you say he is, I think you should let him be the one to decide how and when we meet his boyfriend. Speaking from experience, I cannot stress the anxiety it causes to be ushered into things you are not ready for… Give him time, okay?”

“I will,” Aqua nodded, now aware of the angle on the situation that he hadn’t quite seen for himself. “I just really want him to be happy and find someone, like I found you.”

“I know you do. And I’m sure he knows that too.” Smiles were exchanged between them. “Have a good evening, Muffin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye-bye, Teddy Bear.” Using his magic, Aqua blew a parting kiss of gold sparkles towards his boyfriend before leaving the room.

Now alone in his office,- and with a face half covered in golden speckles,- Kaiba returned to completing the purchase of the two halloween costumes. With both of them placed in his cart, he hit the checkout button and was met with an advertisement for ‘couples’ cosplay outfits’. His eyes skimmed over the images of almost all exclusively heterosexual couplings. Ohhhhhhh, THAT’S what Aqua meant when he said he likes the sound of cosplaying as a couple. I thought he just meant both of our costumes being from the same franchise.

Kaiba’s gaze bypassed the screen as he contemplated what to do next. Should he go ahead with the order and costumes they’d already decided on or start over? What would they even cosplay as otherwise? Did Aqua have something in mind? Surely he would have said something if he had, right? Should he call him and ask? Then again, he couldn’t just discard his brother’s suggestion. Either way, someone was going to be left disappointed…

Damn it, I shouldn’t have left it until last minute to decide on our costumes and ordering them! Next year, I’m planning things WELL in advance. He hit the back button and returned to scouring the selection of outfits on offer. If my Aquamarine wants to cosplay as a couple, then cosplay as a couple we shall!

—

A couple of days later, Aqua returned home to his apartment with a spring in his step as he carried his costume in a hangable garment cover. Today was Halloween and after having finished work early for the day, he was now about to change for the party at the orphanage in a couple of hours time.

“Oh, I didn’t expect to see you there, Yami!” he’d jumped at the sight of the TV being on with his brother slouched in front of it. Excitedly, he unzipped the garment cover to show of his outfit for that evening. “LOOK at my costume! I’m going as Fix-It Felix and Seto as Wreck-It Ralph… “ his words trailed off as he took a closer look at his brother eating Blue Eyes Berry Blast cereal directly from the box as he watched the TV, something the other only did if he was feeling down. “Oh no… did you lose your job?”

“No.” Yami calmly replied as several small brightly coloured balls levitated out of the box and into his mouth. “Just taking a sick day.”

“You’re sick?”

“Not quite…”

“Then what is it?” Aqua asked as he studied his brother’s face, now noticing the redness of his twin’s eyes and nose.

“I, um…I… I got dumped.” Yami confessed as he fought back another wave of heartache.

“What?!” Aqua’s heart sank as he saw his brother dissolve into tears. He placed his costume down on the spare chair and raced to the other’s side to hug him tightly. “Oh, Moony, I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s not much to talk about.” Yami sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes whilst he remained in his brother’s hold. “Josh texted me on my way to work and said it was over. Apparently, he’d been seeing several others as well as me and decided he liked one of them better; I mean, who does that?”

“What an asshole!” Aqua growled as Yami commenced sobbing heavily. Again his heart broke for his brother and he realised how lucky he’d been himself to have bumped into Kaiba on that overcrowded train. Sure things hadn’t been easy for them to get to where they were today, but he knew there was no way his Teddy Bear would have ever played him and broken his heart like that.

Several minutes past before Yami’s sobs and tears ceased. Slowly he pulled back from his brother’s arms. “For a moment there, I thought I might have found something with Josh. We were getting along so well. I was even planning on testing his reaction to some of my magic tonight. Nothing fancy, just little tricks I could easily pass off as Halloween hijinks if his reaction wasn’t quite as hoped… But now, I just feel extremely foolish for having thought of him as my boyfriend in the first place.”

“Forget about him, Moony. He’s not worth your tears or time.” His words didn’t seem to register in those waterlogged eyes. Unsure of whether or not his twin would be okay without him there, Aqua pulled out his phone. “I’m going to call Seto and tell him I can’t make tonight.”

“What?!” Yami couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Don’t! I’ll be okay, I promise, you go and have fun.”

“I’m NOT leaving you like this.” Aqua pouted with tearful eyes of his own. He didn’t want to let down either of the two most important men in his life and wished there was a way he could make it possible to be with both of them… An idea suddenly hit him and he brightened up. “You can come with us! I’m sure Seto won’t mind, and the kids at the orphanage will just LOVE your magic tricks.-“

“Akie, no!” Yami was too slow in stopping the other from dialling the CEO’s number. “You don’t have to do this! I’ll be fine… honest!”

Not only had Aqua dialled his boyfriend’s number, but he also had it on speaker phone as it was swiftly answered. “Hey, Muffin!”

“Hey, Teddy Bear…” Aqua’s voice was slightly slower and more high pitched than usual.

“There’s only two situations were you talk in that silly voice, and since we’re not in the bedroom, I can only assume you’re after something?”

“That’s your bedroom voice?” Yami tried his best to just mouth his astonishment but failed spectacularly as he snorted in amusement at seeing his twin glow with embarrassment.

There was a tired sigh across the line. “You have me on speaker phone, don’t you?”

“Yeah. It’s just Yami though, Bunny’s already at your place. Besides, I bet you have me on speaker phone too.”

“That’s different; I’m driving. AND I’m alone… What’s up?”

Aqua’s embarrassment was short lived at seeing the brief smile it had brought to his brother’s face. He flashed a smile back as he answered his boyfriend’s query. “I was wondering if it would be okay for Yami to join us tonight?”

“You remember what I said about the double date thing, right?”

“I do. Trust me, it’s the complete opposite. Sorta.”

Yami stared in confusion and whispered to his twin, “What’s that about double dates?”

Aqua waved his arm to single the other to be quiet. “He er, got dumped and doesn’t want to be on his own right now.”

There was no way Yami was going to take the blame for ruining the couple’s plans,- how dare his twin lie!,- and was about to argue that he said no such thing when Kaiba beat him to breaking the silence:

“I’m sorry to hear things didn’t work out between you and your date, Yami.”

“That’s okay, he was an asshole anyhow.” he shrugged things off casually in response to the genuine concern being shown.

“Even if that’s true, I’d be happy for you to hang with us tonight.”

Yami was overwhelmed at the kindness being shown to him by his brother’s boyfriend. Things may have soured on the dating scene, but there were still people out there who cared about him. “Thanks, I’d like that... Providing I won’t be infringing on things, that is?”

“Of course not.” Kaiba assured. “I’ll pick you both up in a couple of hours. If you’re going to be wearing a costume, make sure it isn’t anything that would scare a small child.”

“Got it.” Yami confirmed as he exchanged smiles with his twin.

“Have I ever told you, you’re the best?” Aqua beamed with pride at just how wonderfully accepting his boyfriend truly was.

“Lots of times, especially when I-“

“You’re on speaker phone, remember? Gotta keep it clean.” Aqua felt his face flush as he raced to interrupt his boyfriend before details of their sex life were spilt for his brother to hear.

“No Seto, please continue.” Yami chuckled. “I’d love to hear all abo-OUCH!!! Okay, I think Akie wants to end this call now.”

Kaiba let loose a small laugh as he’d easily envisioned the sharp elbow jab that had been given to Yami’s side. “Bye, Muffin.”

“Bye, Teddy Bear.” Aqua ended the call and continued to menacingly glare at his twin. “Pervert.”

“Pfft, like Seto would have really gone ahead with sharing intimate things like that,” Yami shrugged off the look that he knew wasn’t serious. “I know he’s unpredictable at times, but he strikes me as the kind of person that would just wind someone up, not kiss and tell.”

The mock angered look was dropped and Aqua went on to raise the subject of his brother’s outfit for the evening. “What costume are you planning on wearing?”

“Well I was going to be a rather scary-looking werewolf, though I guess I’m going to have to abandon that until next year now.” The elder twin silently pondered what else he could throw together at such short notice. “Do you think a vampire is considered too scary? Obviously I’ll leave off the blood, but do you think Seto would approve of my choice?”

“I know a costume he does approve of.” Aqua smiled brightly.

“No, I’m not wearing that ridiculous sleepwear of yours.”

Ignoring the swipe taken at his Blue Eyes onesie,- which happened to match the ones owned by both Kaiba brothers,- Aqua raced to the spare chair, picked up the garment cover containing his costume and held it out towards his brother. “You go as Felix and I’ll raid my closet to make Vanellope’s outfit. That way our cosplays will remain on theme and be ‘Seto Kaiba approved’. Besides, we both know Vanellope is much more my style.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him?” Yami sighed as he took the costume from his brother. It was pretty obvious that his twin had seized the opportunity with all his might to change to the character he would now be portraying that evening. “Seto’s no stranger to you crossdressing. I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded if you had told him that you would have preferred to dress as someone more feminine.”

“But he was so happy when Mokuba made the suggestion, I didn’t want to disappoint him.” Aqua countered in his defence whilst failing to mention he had hinted an alternative. His eyes began to darken slightly as he thought back to his Teddy Bear dismissing the idea of cosplaying as a couple.

“Akie…” Yami frowned at the sight he saw. “I know you like to see others happy, but it’s okay to put your happiness first every once in a while.”

Aqua remained silent as he took in his brother’s words. Was he always going to be like this and put other people before himself? What was so wrong in wanting to see happiness in others’ eyes, especially his boyfriend’s? “I better start working on my outfit if we’re going to be ready for when Seto arrives. I’ve got at least one colour spell to cast.”

With that said, Aqua headed to his room and left Yami standing their holding the Fix-It Felix costume.

—

As Kaiba pulled up to his mansion, he saw Fuguta standing by the limo that would soon be chauffeuring Mokuba and his friends around as they went trick-or-treating.

“Is my brother keeping you waiting?” the CEO asked as he unloaded the huge box of candy treats and his costume from the back of his Mercedes.

“Only by a few minutes, sir.” Fuguta replied and rushed to help his boss with closing the car door.

“Thanks.” Kaiba bobbed his head in gratitude for the assistance that hadn’t been asked for. “I’ll see to it that he’s out here asap.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Fuguta remained by the limo’s side as Kaiba walked up to the mansion and entered by using his elbows to push down the door’s handle whilst he balanced the heavy load in his hands.

Now inside, he wasted no time in shouting up the huge stairwell. “Mokuba! Brunhilde! You two better not keep Fuguta waiting any longer!”

“Sorry, bro, we’ll be right down!”

Satisfied with his brother’s response, Kaiba made his way into the kitchen. He carefully placed the huge box and garment cover on the breakfast bar top, and then set about making himself some coffee. Faint murmurs of ‘ooooh, oop oop’ left his lips as he happily hummed to himself. Tonight was going to be the best Halloween ever. The kids at the orphanage were in for a real treat with all that he’d prepared for them,- which Roland was currently overseeing the final stages of set-up,- and he bet that hardly anyone would recognise him in his costume.

“Ooooh, oop oop!”

With the coffee pot now brewing, Kaiba headed towards the refrigerator to retrieve the milk. There was a slight,- almost dance-like,- flare to his steps. I can’t wait to see Aquamarine’s face…

“Ooooh, oop oop!”

Just as he was about to open the refrigerator, his eyes caught sight of a goose waddling towards him on his left and his happy mood instantly vanished. Where THE FUCK did that come from?!

“HONK!”

Kaiba’s heart raced as fear took a hold of him. He franticly scrambled backwards to put distance between himself and the goose which only followed him instead. “Stay back!” he yelled and extended his arms in an attempt to shoo the bird away.

His actions caused the goose,- which he now noticed was wearing a ribbon tied in a bow,- to rear its wings and hiss. Oh god, he hated that noise.

More fear filled Kaiba’s body and in act of desperation, he looked for something to use as a weapon if the goose should lunge at him. He saw a huge knife block to his right and pulled out the cleaver which he then held before him in a shaky hand.

“WHOA, WHOA!” Mokuba’s voice sounded as he came rushing on the scene. His eyes were almost as big and fearful as his brother’s as he stepped beside the bird and gently eased it back with one arm. “It’s okay Seto! It’s not a goose, it’s just Nacre. Look.”

The bow around the goose’s neck was undone, causing a small golden star that had held it in place to dissolve into dust. The nightmare bird instantly transformed into his beautiful pet dragon.

“See? It’s Nacre. She wouldn’t ever harm you.”

It was a spell? Kaiba didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or scream obscenities at his brother. He put the cleaver back in the knife block before his trembling legs gave way and he sank to the floor. His arms then reached towards the curious little Blue Eyes trying to determine what was wrong with her human, and pulled her into a close embrace before burying his face against her scales. In a moment or two he knew he’d be okay, he just had to regain control of his breathing first.

“This is my fault,” Mokuba remorsefully confessed. “We were playing Untitled Goose Game and I let it slip out that you have a fear of geese. Brunhilde didn’t believe me, so we cast a charm on Nacre… I’m sorry, Seto. I never thought it would be this traumatic for you.”

Kaiba’s head slowly rose and he met his brother’s eye. “You were playing that trash?” He wasn’t sure if he felt more betrayed by his phobia being revealed, or the fact his brother had been playing,- and thus, had purchased,- the game that had kept the European release of Duel Links from the number one spot in the games chart.

“I’m to blame just as much!” Brunhilde,- dressed as the Kiwi Magician Girl, and holding Mokuba’s Kaibaman helmet,- bravely declared as she now stood several feet away from the two brothers. Even if Kaiba wasn’t the tsundere she’d been assured by others that he was, she wasn’t about to let her friend take all the flak for the prank they’d just pulled. Yes, she’d found it funny at first, but soon changed her mind at seeing the distress that had been caused. “It was my game we were playing and I shouldn’t have doubted what Mokie told me… I’m sorry, Mr Kaiba.”

You’re such a liar, Bunny. We both know it’s MY game. Mokuba thought as he watched his friend speak to his brother. He had to give her credit though for use of his nickname and addressing the other so highly. It was bound to strum a heartstring or two with his brother so he’d go easy on them.

“I accept both your apologies.” Kaiba told them after a moment of brief consideration. Neither of them had meant to cause harm; they were just mischievous and naive, and both seemed genuinely remorseful about the whole thing. Even so, he still had a reputation to uphold. “We’ll put this incident down to ‘misadventure’… But if either of you tell anyone about this, you’re dead.”

Aw yeah, we’re off the hook! Mokuba rejoiced at hearing the jesting threat they’d received. He took his helmet from Brunhilde whilst his brother battled with the dragon refusing to let him get back up onto his feet.

“Oh, I won’t tell anyone,” she smirked. “For a price, that it.”

Now back on his feet, Kaiba raised a quizzical brow at hearing the girl’s quip.

“Don’t push your lucky, Bunny,” Mokuba tittered as Nacre returned to his side. “You do that, and they may never find our bodies.”

Whilst Kaiba appreciated his brother’s continuation and reenforcement of the menacing jest, he wasn’t about the let the brazenness of his boyfriend’s little sister go unrewarded. “Name your price, Kiddo.”

Brunhilde hadn’t expected her demand to taken seriously. She kept her cool and replied, “Three bars of chocolate ought to do it.”

Kaiba made his way over to the huge box of candy destined for the orphanage, and pulled out a multipack of five bars of the requested confectionary. “Catch.”

“Not fair!” Mokuba protested as he watched his brother toss the whole pack towards his friend. “How come she gets candy and I didn’t?”

“You want candy? All you had to do was ask. Here, take this.” Kaiba reached inside his jacket’s inside pocket and tossed a roll of hard candies his brother’s way.

Mokuba caught the candy which he nearly lost to Nacre who attempted to catch them in her open jaws. He was less than impressed with his reward. “Really, Seto? Brunhilde gets chocolate and I get your crappy matcha candy?”

“Take it, or leave it.” Kaiba told his sibling. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the little spellcaster opening her multipack.

“Here, Mokie, I’m not going to eat them all.” Brunhilde dropped the extra two chocolate bars she’d been given into her friend’s treat bucket.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, and NEVER turn down free candy on Halloween.” She took the roll of hard candies from Mokuba’s hand and dropped them into his bucket too.

“Before you three leave, I want a quick snap,” Kaiba said as he took out his phone. He then waited for his brother to place on the helmet before taking a picture of the trio of duel monsters. “That’s great. Now get a move on before you make Fuguta wait any longer.”

Mokuba and Brunhilde waved goodbye as they left with Nacre. Kaiba returned to making his coffee and forwarded the picture he’d just taken to his boyfriend’s phone.

[TEXT from Sugar Muffin] OMG, they look fantastic!

[TEXT to Sugar Muffin] Not as fantastic as we’re going to look ;)

—

Rather (un)surprisingly, Aqua’s yellow hoodie was the only thing that had required a colour charm spell to make it mint green for his cosplay. Everything else,- including the double layer, pleated black skirt,- he already had at hand for recreating Vanellope’s von Schweetz’s look.

All he had left to do was his hair, which would take no time at all. It simply needed to be placed in a high ponytail with a dark pink tie, and some candy themed clips on one side. He was halfway done when there was a knock at the door. “Moony, could you get that? I’m still busy setting sprinkles in my hair!”

“Sure. It’ll probably be Seto anyway.”” Yami shouted back from where he sat playing with the golden toy hammer that had come with the costume he was wearing. Lazily he went to answer the door and greet his brother’s boyfriend. “Aqua’s still changing, he’ll be done in… a… Whoa, is that really you Seto?”

“Yami?” Kaiba stared back at the gaping mouthed plumber who wasn’t his boyfriend. “Why are you wearing that costume?”

“I was about to ask you the same question, Sergeant.” Yami opened the door wider and gestured for the blonde haired woman to enter. “Aaua told me that you were going to be Wreck-It Ralph tonight.”

“Originally I was, yes.” Kaiba entered the apartment with the first tinge of embarrassment he’d felt since putting the costume on.

“So what happened? Why are you standing here dressed as Calhoun? I mean, you look great and everything…”

“I wanted to surprise Aqua.” Kaiba couldn’t bring himself to look at Yami as he spoke. Damn it, he felt so foolish right now! “When we were discussing costume ideas, he mentioned that he liked the sound of cosplaying as a couple. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time. I learnt what he truly meant just as I was about to place our costumes order and… I didn’t want to disappoint him so changed my outfit accordingly so we’d get to… Heh, I’ve made an idiot of myself haven’t I?”

“No, you haven’t.” Yami assured. “But you and he REALLY need to learn how to communicate better.”

Kaiba wasn’t sure what was meant by the remark. He felt that despite their disastrous start at admitting feelings for one and other, he and Aqua were doing well together as a couple. Was his boyfriend’s twin trying to imply that they weren’t? Why would he do that? Was it because he had bitter feelings about being dumped earlier that day?…

“Seto, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I really need to know… Is that a breastplate you’re wearing?”

“Yes,” he answered with a little too much assertion than he’d intended. “They’re completely fake.”

The sound of excited footsteps running down the hall could be heard and Aqua came bursting in on them in full character mood. “Hey there, Stinkbrain! Bet you’re surprised t-to… s-see… m-me…? ” his words became spaced and stuttered as his eyes landed upon his boyfriend. “Teddy Bear?”

“I’ll um… just leave you two alone.”

Kaiba waited until Yami was out of earshot before talking. “I don’t understand what’s going on here, Muffin. Why are you dressed as Vanellope instead of Felix?”

“I um… er… Well, you see… Yami needed a costume, and I… I thought it would be okay for him to have mine. I knew I could pull off this look,. It’s more my style after all… If I had known you were going to do THIS, I.. I w-w-wouldn’t have… given Yami…”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Kaiba hugged his boyfriend who he could see was becoming upset over the situation. “If anyone is to blame here, it’s me for trying to surprise you.”

“I didn’t think you knew what couples’ cosplay was.” Aqua sniffed as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“I didn’t.” Kaiba confessed. “I discovered it purely by accident. It went straight over my head when you mentioned it.”

Aqua failed to hide an amused laugh. He really had been worry about nothing when he’d assumed the worst. Pulling back slowly from the embrace, his fingers traced the curves of his boyfriend’s tight bodysuit and armour. “You crossplayed for me too.”

“I didn’t see the big deal.” Kaiba casually shrugged. “It’s just clothes, right?”

What he’d just been told was a huge contrast to the way his boyfriend would have felt about wearing such an outfit at the start of their relationship. The fact his Teddy Bear now felt so carefree and without worry about other people’s opinion of him, it brought a smile to Aqua’s face… but it didn’t stay there. “I’ll have a word with Yami and change into Felix for you.”

“No, that’s not what I want.” Kaiba stated as he looked down into those eyes that failed to portray the other’s joy. Aqua wasn’t going to change because he wanted to, he was going to do it because he thought that was what was wanted of him. Kaiba now understood what Yami had meant by communicating better and sought to do so from then on. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want complete honesty from you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“If given the choice, who would you rather cosplay as, Vanellope or Felix? Ignore the fact that I’m here like this, and tell me which one makes YOU the most comfortable.”

Aqua hesitated for a moment before answering honestly like he’d agreed. “Vanellope,” he spoke quietly as if ashamed of his answer.

“Vanellope.” Kaiba repeated and nodded to indicate that the choice was every bit a valid as the man making the decision. “Then STAY as you are. Your happiness makes me happy.”

“What? No, I can’t! You went to all this trouble for me-“

“It’s NEVER any trouble when you’re involved. YOU’RE never any trouble, Aquamarine…” Kaiba’s hand found it’s way to softly caress Aqua’s check and help calm his boyfriend’s agitated state. “Besides, even if you were, I would gladly inconvenience myself for you.”

Aqua could only stare into those eyes fixed upon him with nothing but love and warmth. He returned his own in the form of a deep kiss delivered to his boyfriend’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispered when they eventually parted.

“What for?” Kaiba asked as he reconnected to the ruby gaze that now sparkled brighter than the stars in the night sky.

“For loving me.”

A tearful smile was given in response to those words. Although Kaiba had never said the phrase ‘I love you’ himself, he was emotionally moved to know that his feelings towards Aqua were felt nonetheless. “You’re welcome, Muffin.”

The couple were about to share another kiss when the sound of Yami’s voice caused them to cease, “You two may have no trouble seeing beyond your costumes, but from where I’m at, it looks completely wrong to see a grown woman and child locking lips.”

“Thank you for ruining our moment, Moony!” Aqua snarked at his twin before he burst into gentle laughter. “I guess we do look pretty weird together.”

“Don’t worry, next year we will match in all of our ‘couples’ cosplay’ glory.” Kaiba assured dramatically.

“How can you be certain?” Aqua laughed as he hugged his Teddy Bear once more.

“Because we’ll sit down and decide on things together. No more surprises.”

“No more surprises, ever?”

“I guess I could make the odd exception every now and then-“

“Okay, break it up you two!” Yami physically placed himself between his brother and the CEO. “We’ve got an orphanage to entertain this evening, remember? From now on, we should remain in character until the night is through. No more smooches for you.”

“Okay, I can do that.” Aqua grinned and then headed towards the apartment door. Over his shoulder he playfully teased, “As husband and wife though, have fun when one of the kids asks you to share a kiss at some point during the party.”

Seto simply smirked as he followed on behind whilst Yami was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t too late to don his twin’s Blue Eyes onesie after all.

#my crappy writing #rp stuff #fanfiction #Aqueto #xstar-dustroleplayx #REALLY long post ;;>.>#I didn't intend for it to become this but it did ^^;;#I hope you enjoy #sorry for the sucky ending >~<#............................#I'll get around to everyone's RP replies as soon as I am able #my health isn't the best right now and I just wanted to post this fic I promised xstar-dustroleplayx

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years ago

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tfw hating life enough for a reeadmooore

‪yesterday afternoon i’d blocked out 3 pgs in my sketchbook & by that night i was thinking like well i’m so close to finished the sketchbook finally (ive been using it about a yr and a half by now) that i could just stop drawing when i hit the end there‬

but i’d mentioned the impending end of my sketchbook space a friend is already in the process of sending over some they havent ever used so that will at least mean if i stop drawing it’ll just have to be because i want to lol

like in this case it’s special b/c of course i’ve had periods where i’m like smh what if i just don’t draw anymore, but that’s tended to be about being frustrated w some element or other of it all. this time it was mostly just that every day of my life i have a tiny bit less motivation or energy or etc. yesterday i was thinking all day about offing myself, which i’d done the day before, and done today too

like, it’s nothing new, i’ve been hating being alive and wanting to kms and only moving in the direction of less disappointment to more disappointment and having to care less about things i previously cared about because for one reason or another things get to a point where it only adds frustration to my life anymore

but despite depression and wanting to die and life being miserble all being Not New, that doesn’t mean that it doesnt matter anymore, because after day after day after day after day after day of it for years and years, you’re in a worse place than you were a while back, even if you do feel the same. even a single day of wishing you were dead the whole time is shitty enough. feeling overall like even if you’re in a good mood now, you know your life is trash and you’re going to go back to feeling bad soon, is also shitty enough

like the thing that drawing had going for me is that, like reading and writing sometimes and even some other shit, it’s something i like to do. i do it for myself, really. but it helps that its the way i trick ppl into being here in the first place to see anything i’m talking about. i have really crap appeal. i mean i’m bad at being appealing thru shit i draw, but it’s still way more of something anybody wants vs like five yrs worth of my text posts. like...i have over 10x more followers than i did on a blog where i rarely drew anything ever

but anyways despite me drawing b/c i enjoy it, i enjoy enjoying things less. always in the middle of that “loss of interest in pleasure” life lol.......it doesn’t really matter how long i do or don’t keep drawing, b/c i mean, it doesn’t much matter to me whether i’m having fun or not. i can be enjoying drawing and still wanting to die, because that’s whats happening lol.....nothing that’s a personal factor of my life is all that important to me, because my personal existence is not that important to the person living it

also it sure hasnt helped that my sense of things like whether my life can get better or i’ll have the opportunity to pursue my nonexistent dreams or live an ideal version of my life that also doesn’t exist are all at all-time lows and only just getting lower day by week by month by year. the only way i can even look at cheering myself up is from a day-to-day perspective. and i can have a slightly more fun day than usual and then be extra down on the very next day b/c of how being a bit less numb means you’re crap-feeling emotions are now game too. and i’m very aware of how, if you’re not in a position that insulates you enough, if things get worse for you, that makes “things getting worse for you” more likely, and it’s an exponential drop that gets harder and harder to climb out of, and even if you move back up a notch out of good luck, you’re still just as likely to be knocked back down to where you were. the odds of me suddenly not only not fucking hating being alive but also having a life that doesnt fucking make me hate being alive? that’s a funny joke

‪also it’s frustrating that whether i feel good or miserable on any given day only really exists if i say something about it in a post like this lol... like i might feel awful one day but if i dont have it in me to spend ages writing about it, which is difficult also b/c putting feelings into words where ppl will only fully Get It if they’ve felt that way too, anyways if i dont write about how shitty i feel and post it then maybe later on when i’m feeling a little better or feeling a different kind of shitty, i also won’t be interested in being like “oh btw i felt awful the other day.” and if i don’t mention it, as far as everyone in the world knows, it was never a thing that happened, so it might as well not have. i mean, as a person i might as well not be happening, especially since i don’t want me to be happening lol‬

and like i was saying to someone the other day, its a lot harder via text to talk about shit b/c like, if you’re with a friend in person, you can talk abt boring or silly things and its easy and makes a good conversation. whereas talking via twitter means it would be clunky and time consuming to layout exactly had empty and depressing my existence is, and silly shit isn’t even worth the energy when you’re having a convo w lengthy gaps in it, so you can only really talk about the broadest, most interesting shit. which i don’t have much of, oh well

i do like talking and talking to people actually, it’s just rough when it’s all a few ppl online, even though i alsp extremely appreciate those people and enjoy the talking. it’s like, chatting to ppl online is like a piece of chocolate cake. it’s delicious and you love it, but it would be amazing if it was the extra bonus on top of getting solid meals every day, instead of it being the only thing you have to eat and you get it maybe once or twice a week and it’s still wonderful and is all the more valuable for it, but it isnt the same as getting enough to eat always, or Knowing you’ll keep getting enough to eat

anyways my social life is always its own special kind of depressing, even when i AM in the same place as friends. you’d have a hard time finding a situation where the concept of What I Have To Say seems interesting or even relevant to other ppl. and im not sure i’ve ever been in groups where i feel totally comfortable with everyone there and don’t feel out of place. so talking about the idea of knowing you always have access to someone to talk to or be with in person or having friends who you know you can hang out with and they actually like you and you still expect to have them a few yrs down the road—all that’s always been a “well, in theory i mean” or “at least, i imagine it would be like that” issue for me

tbh i generally feel the most comfortable enjoying myself when i do something alone; maybe it’s because i have more experience of ppl im around treating me really shittily than treating me well

ohhhhhh wellllllllllllllll what else do i have to talk about. hmmm the fact that feeling like i wanna die only seems to be regarded as an issue of “well are you gonna or not,” aka if you havent its a Victory and a happy situation instead of it being a matter of EVERY DAY I’M A CONSCIOUS ORGANISM I WISH I WAS DEAD AND MY EXISTENCE HAS BEEN HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION FOR AT LEAST THE LAST HALF OF IT

like how heartwarming that i’ve been actively suicidal for how many years? 6? 8? but i havent yet!! i always want to but just never get around to it and so this time for sure lol no more fooling around!! oh dammit and there goes another birthday still alive. like this is some elusive new years resolution or novel i mean to write.

funny i mention it because there’s practically nothing anymore that i want to do. even if i THOUGHT my life would ever become okay, i want fuckall out of it. i only exist, baby............and it’s like i said earlier, whenever i try to come up with a sad amount of potential motivations NOT to die, i have to realize that none of the shit is actually for me, or directly about me, or centered on me. like, this shit lost its charm ages ago.

well anyways. i suppose thats all i can think to say now. and it doesn’t make a difference whether i talk about my shitass existence and how crap i feel or not. it just gives the chance for a bit of it to exist in the world via a few other ppl being aware of it for a few minutes maybe, because who DOESNT want to thoroughly read a shit essay by some random weirdo about how everything sucks. the end

#i was innovative and typed this in twitter dark mode so my phone could have a break from me embedding the keyboard in the screen #anyways i wanna dye 😂😂😂

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jelanisaeed · 4 years ago

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Starborn Truths - Chapter 1: Starborn Bakari

Starborn Truths

Chapter 1: Starborn Bakari

Only a few days before the winter solstice. Bakari frowned, toying with his dreadlocks. Every solstice brought harsh memories. A side effect of transitions, Loony Lytton had explained. None, however, hurt worse than winter. It sought to hurt him, he decided and received its wish every year. If only the nightmares left him alone.

The change of pace helped some. Wintergreen Forest had the most beautiful evergreens coated in soft blankets of snow. A Northern Philosian staple. Though winter always marred these scenes with land-ravaging blizzards. Unprovoked and rude.

Thankfully, only the geezers shoveled out campsites. Bakari only needed to apply the protective wards.

“Bakari, get off yer lazy arse!”

And avoid Nowles, of course. Now that man knew how to ruin a peaceful morning. Bakari found him at the base of the tree. Flailing his stocky arms for the unneeded attention his shiny bald head provided. Unlike the other bandits, his silver parka seemed too big. However, his silver boar brooch and golden earrings made all comments mute.

Couldn’t taunt the Task Manager no matter how nauseating his voice was.

“Yer sposed to have cleaned the horses!”

Even worse when Nowles was right. With that smug smirk smeared across his plump face—no dignity with that one.

Usually, Bakari ignored the man. Everyone knew to give him space when he took to his favorite tree. And that was what he did. Climbed higher this time around until he found a sturdy branch to rest on. As well as sharpen his arrows. Couldn’t forget that.

“Aye Nowles,” but today, he surrendered without fuss. Shouldering his quiver, Bakari leapt off the branch and landed with ease beside the startled man. “I’ma handle it. Ain’t nothing bad no ways.”

Washing the horses was a breeze. The perfect stress relief for a dreadful week.

“Ya think so, huh?” Nowles grinned, rubbing his puffy blue eyes. “Guess again, runt! Knox needs the full service on those beauties. Make ‘em shine!”

Master Knox? Bakari frowned. He always informed Bakari of these tasks personally. Telling Nowles…Bakari fought to calm the anxiety surging through his soul-stone. Hopefully, everything was fine.

His conflict, however, never made it to his face. Only a scoff as he strolled away with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Whatever,” he droned. It didn’t take an empath to feel the anger seething through Nowles with each lazy step Bakari took. But being one sure made it even more satisfying. “It’ll be handled.”

Bakari never had hectic early mornings like these geezers. Though, many blamed it on his age. With the privileges Master Knox allotted him for being the youngest. Spoiled, some called him! Bakari, of course, denied such heinous accusations.

Not his fault Master Knox liked him better.

Bakari found the horses near the edge of the camp. In a makeshift stable of wood and bushes. Tyrell—the hottest bandit, easily—watched over them, scowling when they danced upon his arrival.

What could he say? Animals loved him.

However, Bakari knew this cleaning was long overdue. Weeks of constant travel left many of them filthy and fatigued. Thank the kiinbies they found a new refuge after their last one was raided.

Bakari waved at the burly man. Tyrell was Master Knox’s enforcer. Built with a towering frame stacked rippling muscles but softened by his glowing hazel eyes. Smooth, driftwood skin engraved with tattoos across his arms and lightened scars peaking through his clothes at the neck. A handsome man with his bushy, mahogany afro.

If only he trimmed that scruffy beard.

“Bakari,” he nodded, casting a glare at Master Knox’s bucking steed, Shanita. A beautiful horse with a thick, crimson spotted white coat and wavy black hair.

“Yer late,” he rumbled, folding his arms over his massive chest. “Knox expects this finished before his return.”

Of course. Master Knox always expected his tasks finished before his return. And never had Bakari been a second late. “I hear ya,” he waved him off and got to work. “I’m gonna finish.”

Tyrell scoffed but said nothing. He never did. Bakari supposed that was what attracted him. No nagging and patronizing, just cool acknowledgment. Now if Nowles treated him like this, maybe they would get somewhere.

Then again, Nowles loved to annoy everyone. A miracle no one killed him yet.

Bakari moved onto the last two horses. Skylight—Tyrell’s stallion—accepted the wash without fuss. Much like his rider. Cleaning his golden, white speckled coat and wavy black hair brought a shine to him.

Mystro, his eager steed…was a task. An excitable one that danced at the slightest touch! Still, bathing him had its joys and Bakari laughed as the water splashed onto him. All worth it in the end. Now, his blue coat sparkled, and his silver hair fell neatly. Mystro just needed the extra attention only Bakari could give.

Now about that peach craving…

“You spoil him,” Tyrell scowled. Not that he could talk, feeding Skylight those sugar-coated apples. “One day he’ll be rotten.”

“Yeah and he finna be in great company with Skylight if ya keep that up, Tyrell.”

Their banter faded away soon after. Master Knox arrived in a gallant stride. Glimmering gold of his eyes pulsing with untold stories of strength and love. Much like the glowing sheath strapped at his side.

“Tyrell, Bakari,” The tenor of Master Knox’s voice came silky. Almost hiding the authority hidden beneath the veil. Just like the dreaded temper that earned him the title, Knox the Whisper. “Have my requests been met?”

Bakari interjected with a cheerful, “Of course, Master Knox,” and gestured to his handiwork, “inspect if ya like.”

Master Knox didn’t bother. Rarely ever did he. Hard to miss the sparkle in their fur. Bakari performed all his tasks at his best. The reason why he was the best archer amongst the group.

I’m just that good, he smirked. Master Knox spoke to Tyrell, conversing in topics Bakari never cared to understand.

A hand squeezed on his shoulder. “Ba,” Master Knox began with a smile. Only Master Knox called him that. Filled it with an enduring, fatherly love he felt deprived of. A love Master Knox oozed through the pores of his soft blackberry skin.

“Come with me. We have much to discuss.”

Bakari loathed these talks. No matter the topic, they tragically ended in him losing a shouting match. Knox had a way about him. Once he flashed that smile and pulled him close, Bakari lost the will to fight.

“Yeah, yeah—I’m comin’,” Bakari followed with a sigh.

The two walked through a hectic campsite. Whenever Master Knox came around, the men lost control. Rushed to finish any last-minute tasks until they tripped over themselves. On a good day, Bakari would laugh from the safety of his favorite tree. With some popcorn, if he had any.

But Master Knox had other plans for today. “Ba, you turned seventeen last month,” he began, hands shoved into his silver cloak’s pockets. Something rattled in there, Bakari swore. “I can’t keep you here.”

Keep him here? Bakari laughed. No man in sight had the power to keep him anyway. Not when warmth surged through his eyes and its heat trickled down his skin and settled in the palm of his hands.

A flicker of magic engulfed them.

Cobalt like his eyes. It caressed his silver leather gloves as whispered sweet nothings in his ears. Could they hold him hostage? Bakari doubted it. Maybe one day he would learn who this mystery captor was.

“You’ve grown cocky,” an amused chuckle filled the air. Master Knox stared at him with a gloved hand gripped on the hilt of a deadly sword. Even sealed, Bakari felt the pulse of magic incinerate his in moments, leaving only sparkles in its wake.

“Do you needa be reacquainted with Jaudamu?”

Jaudamu. A sacred blade said to be forged from pieces of Lord Jualoza’s sunstone. With blinding solar magic, a single slash cremated opposition. Not an enemy Bakari wished to have.

“No, Master Knox,” he stammered, fighting against the anxiety in his soul-stone. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean no disrespect.”

Master Knox nodded and removed his hand. “Now listen. I’m not sayin’ you must leave. But yer danuko has protected you for three years. No one knows Bakari Deyneth.”

Sorrow needled at Bakari’s senses as Master Knox surveyed the camp. At thirty-seven, Master Knox lost many of his dreams and ambitions after joining the Bloody Castors. A choice life forced upon him. A curse, Bakari decided as he caressed the back of his left hand, the kiinbies couldn’t purge.

“Start over and have the life you deserve. The life I never had.”

Bakari knew he had to leave. Between the training and online school, Master Knox made it a point to prepare him for a new life. One devoid of crime and filled with dreams. Dreams robbed from Master Knox and Tyrell. Dreams his danuko secured him.

Dreams he deserved. “Master, I appreciate it truly,” he smiled and pulled the man into a hug. Dreams Master Knox deserved to see accomplished. “I’ll leave…just not yet.”

Someday soon. Regardless of how ready Bakari felt for the world. He swore an oath to spread his wings and soar when the time came. Just not today. Not when he was still a runaway.

“I promise I will.” Bakari pulled away and wiped the tears from his master’s eyes. “‘Sides Master, you need me! Ain’t nobody ‘round here a betta archer than me—Huntsman!”

Master Knox laughed. It rang through the forest and filled with air with vibrating joy for Bakari to soak in. “I’ll accept that.” With joyful tears, Master Knox urged Bakari to close his eyes. And so, he did and found something cold resting against his neck. “Happy Belated Birthday, Huntsman.”

A necklace. A silver necklace decorated with a cobalt arrow.

“I know I’m not yer father. But I’d like to think of you as my son…if you’ll allow me.”

Bakari marveled at the chain. Fathers always gifted their sons with jewelry as they entered adulthood. After losing his father, Bakari never thought he would receive anything. Yet the kiinbies surprised him again with a loving surrogate.

“Do ya even hafta ask?” he muttered. “You always been a father to me.”

Master Knox smiled. A beautiful sight. Stress and danger left his features hardened and cold to the touch. Bakari feared the man would never experience true joy again! But today changed that. A smile tugged at his lips until he let it spread across his skin and tickled his ears.

“Excellent. Now, gather the men. We have a new mission.”

#LGBT #Afrofuturism #Starborn Truths

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rorykillmore · 7 years ago

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alright this is a christmas gift for @digitaldragoon, who requested a heather chandler/heather duke daemon au fic! honestly having the chance to explore their relationship a little more introspectively was a blast (if also inevitably sad) and i do hope i wrote dontae okay. i went back and reviewed some headcanon posts about him but i was still like “I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM IN ACTION YET WHAT IF I’M NOT DOING IT RIGHT”

anyways, giz. thank you for being such a kind, loyal, and engaging friend for all these years. i always feel so encouraged to feel good about my own writing by you because your enthusiasm and interest in our dynamics always feels so genuine. and the feeling is more than mutual, because your ideas for interactions and the way you handle your characters make every rp with you worth looking forward to. i know that sometimes you have a harder time than you’re willing to admit, but in spite of all that, i’ve never seen you treat anyone with anything but kindness, interest, and sincerity, and it’s one of the things i admire most about you. i hope you know that even when you’re feeling at your lowest, your warmth is contagious enough to spread to all your friends.

merry christmas!!!

“It’s whatever. All our daemons are assholes.”

“Are you seriously not even going to tell me where we’re going?”

Heather Duke sounds vaguely annoyed which, granted, is pretty much standard for her. Heather herself shoots her a smirk -- although privately, she hopes she isn’t too seriously bothered. It’s hard to tell, sometimes, and she reminds herself that Duke can’t be blamed for not entirely trusting her.

“You’re gonna see in a minute. Hold your fucking horses,” she responds never the less.

At least Dontae doesn’t seem too visibly bothered, if that’s any indication. He’s fluttering along confidently at Duke’s heels, while Finley prowls at the other side of Heather’s, keeping a pointed distance. Heather will admit it, if only to herself: this bothers her a little. It’s not like Finley to be reluctant to engage other daemons, but he and Dontae do not exactly get along.

Whatever. If they can keep off each other’s throats for a couple hours, this will work -- or she hopes it will, anyway. They reach the storefront, and Heather Duke pauses, nonplussed as she squints up at the sign above them.

“Argosy --” She cuts off, and the tone of her voice changes slightly. “Argosy Books. This is the oldest bookstore in New York City.”

“And the biggest,” Heather adds, because they can’t forget that. From what she’s read online, she knows this place has six full floors of books -- many of them rare first editions. It seems right up Duke’s alley, although she can’t deny a part of her’s intrigued as well.

But this is supposed to be for -- her friend. She’s not shopping for herself today.

“I didn’t know what you wanted for Christmas. Or like, what you’ve already read,” she explains, downplaying. “So. Pick something, and I’ll buy it for you.”

Even Dontae has gone still now, his head cocked slightly to one side. Heather Duke blinks at her, surprise flitting across her face before she can stifle it. “Are you fucking with me?”

Heather tries to look nonchalant as Finley winds around her ankles. “It took us like, forty-five minutes to get here. I’m not gonna waste that much time on some joke.”

Duke looks back up at the sign, seemingly on the verge of hesitantly allowing herself to believe it. It prompts Heather to add, a little briskly, “Besides, you... deserve it.”

She can apologize all she wants, she figures, but she’s gotta back up her intentions somehow. At this point, all she wants is for things to be better -- better for all of them. There’s no point in staying pissed anymore. Sure, Duke might’ve been awful to McNamara, but she and Mac had been pretty shitty to Duke before that -- it all looped back around to that same, vicious cycle.

And she’d long since gotten tired of it.

Duke eyes her almost awkwardly, and then looks away again. “...Yeah. Well. I guess they might have something worth picking up. It can’t hurt to look.”

Heather smiles at her in lazy encouragement, not too concerned with trying to get her to drop those still-sometimes-prickly walls (they’re pretty much primarily defensive, she realizes at this point), and they head inside.

She knows this place is supposed to have a lot of books, but there are -- a lot of books. Scanning the maze-like shelves in silence, she feels a faint prickle of curiosity from Finley and doesn’t bother to stifle it (just like she hasn’t stifled his feelings throughout the entirety of this encounter, that mingled shame and pride and wary fondness he brims with whenever they’re around Heather Duke).

“I can’t believe this is just one floor,” Duke breathes beside her.

“Of six,” Heather adds, and they smile at each other for a fleeting moment.

Said moment is broken by none other than Dontae. Later, Heather might look back and think it was some kind of reaction to his person’s vulnerability - maybe him trying to protect her, in a way - but she feels rather than sees Finley get bowled off the shelf he’s leaped onto by one of Dontae’s wings.

She and Duke both whip around in time to see Finley scramble to his feet, spitting furiously. Dontae didn’t really hit him hard - it’s more outrage that Heather feels from him than pain - but she knows her own daemon, and she knows he’s not about to let something like this drop. He’s lashing out in the next moment, claws raking at Dontae’s wing, and Heather braces herself for a scuffle --

“Stop!” Duke snaps, and they all freeze.

Heather’s not sure why she didn’t expect the intervention. Stuff like this isn’t necessarily isolated to Finley -- Dontae picks fights often, and while she’s always gotten the feeling that Heather Duke doesn’t particularly like it, she’s never seen her confront her daemon in public.

“Can you go five minutes without causing drama?” she continues, glaring at him. “Christ. Like we don’t have enough of that to deal with.”

Dontae looks -- well, Heather can’t tell if it’s angry or ashamed, but he ducks his head, feathers ruffled uneasily. Whatever his intentions had been, Heather thinks he didn’t actually mean to upset his person.

The fur along Finley’s spine bristles still, but he casts a slow look from Heather Chandler to Heather Duke and back to Dontae -- and then starts to slink away. Uncharacteristically for them both, Heather is quick to scoop him up to try and circumvent any more trouble.

“Sorry,” Duke mutters to her.

Heather shrugs it off, in spite of the fact that she’s never sure what to make of Dontae’s general hostility. “It’s whatever. All our daemons are assholes.”

“Hey!” Finley protests from her arms, but she ignores him, smoothing over his fur where Dontae ruffled it.

“So,” she ventures in an effort to move past it. “Where should we start?”

Duke looks relieved to have the opportunity to go back to focusing on the books. She glances around, eyeing up some of the labels that designate the different sections. “I dunno. Wanna check out what they have in classic literature?”

Heather’s smile is a little more genuine, this time. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t share at least some of Duke’s fondness for it. “Sounds perfect.”

Classic Literature, as it turns out, is on the second floor, so they head upstairs together. Heather eventually feels that the coast is clear to let Finley go back to roaming on his own, and Dontae - well, Dontae doesn’t seem subdued, exactly, but he also doesn’t try bothering Finley again.

“Did you see what they want us to read for English once school starts up again?” Heather asks. If it’s a little gingerly, well -- there’d been a time, not so long ago, when both of them would’ve outwardly scorned talking about books. But a lot’s changed since then.

“To Kill A Mockingbird?” Duke almost smiles again.

“I thought it was funny. We read that in like, tenth grade, at our school.” Maybe the curriculum's a little more generalized here because of the rifts, Heather guesses. People from Narnia, or whatever the fuck, wouldn’t have read stuff like that.

“All of you read it in tenth grade. I read it in eighth.”

“Nerd,” Heather shoots back, but it’s borderline affectionate if anything. “You know, someone told me Harper Lee wrote a sequel -- like, really recently.”

Duke’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’re fucking kidding me,” she blurts, and Heather can’t help but take some satisfaction in the fact that her news has its intended effect. “Finally.”

“Maybe they’ll have it here.”

There’s something content in the way they start browsing the shelves together -- something that feels almost alien, until Heather realizes it’s just that she hasn’t felt it in a long time. Not with Duke, anyway.

This is... nice. Even the daemons aren’t tense anymore.

She missed it, she admits to herself.

Maybe one day she’ll be able to say as much out loud.

#fic #digitaldragoon

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gonnabesyk · 5 years ago

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November 19th, 2018 9:14am

I’m in a bad spot. Most vets will be closing soon for a week or more due to Thanksgiving, but my other ferrets are beginning to show symptoms of ECE. I’m not sure what I’ll do if there’s a sudden emergency; we called all the animal hospitals within 2 and a half hours of us and are equipped to treat ferrets.

I was quite impressed with the vet we saw on Saturday. We had to go back to the same clinic we visited on Halloween (where we had a negative experience), but there was a different doctor there this time. He did a thorough examination of Icky, asked exactly what was going on with her, took a fecal sample, etc. I mentioned ECE and though he hadn’t heard of it, he stepped out of the room and did some research. I brought it up to the other doctor at this vet and she brushed me off. Probably because she didn’t know what it was, but was too proud to admit it. Dr. Bob (I think that was what they were calling him) even gave us Prednisolone instead of Prednisone (which is hard on a ferret’s liver). I was actually blown away by that, to be honest. In a good way.

Last night when I went to put Jowee and Skitters in the bathroom to play, Skitters seemed very lethargic. I offered him food and treats, both of which he turned down. Extremely unusual for him. He was shivering uncontrollably just like Icky was on Friday evening. I didn’t get much sleep last night because I was so concerned; each time the ferrets made a sound I’d jolt awake in a panic. From 3 - 7 AM I heard Skitters get up twice to use the bathroom. I could tell it was diarrhea before I even checked.. I was right - dark green, mucusy diarrhea that smelled strongly of sulfur. He’s sick now too :( This is a lot of heartache to handle at once, especially since it could all have been avoided if I’d just walked away from baby blaze at the pet store. Like Jim told me to. He’s always right.

Here’s the problem: the vet only supplied us with two sub-q needles/syringes.. Icky hasn’t had fluids since yesterday morning, but she still needs them. And Skitters will need them as well, but Dr. Bob won’t be at the clinic today. I really, really don’t want to put up with the other doctor there again :( She gave me a terrible feeling, insisted baby blaze had worms and pushed deworming meds on us. Ferrets so rarely get worms, it’s almost not even worth considering. Some deworming meds can make ferrets very sick too, which shows me she’s not very knowledgeable about them..

I wish we could just call and pay for more supplies, but I’m certain we’d have to take Skitters in for an exam :/ Each time I bring a ferret to this clinic, I’m scared they’ll deworm it without asking for my explicit permission. On Saturday, the vet assistant (whom I very much don’t care for) listened to Icky’s symptoms, then gave her opinion: “Well I think she just needs de-wormed.” I didn’t ask for your opinion!!! You aren’t the vet! Both times we’ve seen her, she’s told us the same story about the infamous 5-pound ferret she owned that ate candy and popcorn, and the time he got stuck in a tube because he was so obese. Don’t give me your medical opinion on ferrets when you can’t even fucking feed them properly. Overweight ferrets are basically unheard of; if you have one, it means you’ve royally screwed up. Besides that, ferrets are strictly carnivorous - their bodies aren’t designed to eat anything that isn’t meat. They cannot process sugar, feeding it to them is beyond irresponsible. I have no idea how her ferret didn’t die from an intestinal obstruction if it ate popcorn that often. Holy shit.

I’m getting off topic, though.. I have unflavoured Pedialyte, a couple recipes for duck soup, ferretone, high-calorie vitamin paste, etc. I just need needles, syringes, and some pouches of sub q fluids. I can’t obtain that last thing legally without a prescription :( The vet might supply these things, but they’ll absolutely charge a premium for them. On their own, these things are so cheap… Realistically, how am I going to abuse sub q fluids? Heck, I can buy the needles online… But they wouldn’t get here in time!

We’re gonna call the vet soon. Please wish us luck.. Lack of sleep and concern for my pets is destroying me. Just don’t know what I’ll do if I lose any of my babies. ECE is often given cutes-y little names: “green slime disease” or “the greenies”, but make no mistake: it’s a killer if not treated aggressively.

#vent #pets #2018

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kxias · 7 years ago

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...so, yeah, don’t rlly know how the fuck i got accepted to be quite honest w you??? like that definitely sounded fake but yet here we are??? anyways, hi, i’m red (she/her pronouns please) i’m 19 and i live in the est timezone and i am so, so excited about this roleplay — like i said, highkey was not expecting to get accepted so it certainly came as a shock when i refreshed the main before leaving to grab dinner and saw my post? i’ve been dying to put this muse of mine into play for a month or so now but i really haven’t been able to find a group that i was Down for up until i saw this one ! i am a heaux for uni rps, an even bigger one for the greek life rps since i in a million years would never be able to join greek life (yay introvert!!) and while i wasn’t here first time around, i’m happy to be here now and writing w all you lovely people ; i’m working on getting her stats and wanted connections up so pls bear with me, classes started back today and i’m trying to sift thru all the junk of my online courses while attempting to enjoy my last moments of freedom but they’ll be up soon ! in the meantime, there’s a bit beneath the cut about my baby angel and a few ideas to tide you over, make the heart go red and i’ll pop in your ims for plots ! and yes, i do ramble like this all the time so Get Ready !!

tw: death, slight depression, mentions of verbal/emotional abuse

have you read the gossip blog lately ? apparently, a GIGI HADID lookalike was seen strolling across campus with their DANCE textbook. but nah, that’s just KAIA ZAMAN, the TWENTY year old JUNIOR, i’m sure you know HER. they’re mostly known as THE SANGUINE because they’re very SILVER-TONGUED and INTREPID but also RETICENT and GUILELESS.

so kaia was born and raised in chicago, illinois, the only child her parents ever had due to a few factors — one of which being that it was incredibly hard for her mother to carry a child + rushed into an emergency hysterectomy right after kaia’s birth, so she was their rainbow baby

her parents did everything in their power to make kaia as happy as they possibly could since she had been everything they’d wanted for so long, so whether it was letting her watch another cartoon before bed or enrolling her in dance classes at the age of three after a full-fledged obsession with the nutcracker reached its pique, they pretty much granted her any wish she could’ve possibly had

at age four, a few nights after christmas, kaia and her parents were on their way home from dinner, taking a road that was pretty notorious for collecting black ice in the winter and got into a really bad accident, and this cost her both of her parents

so in her father’s will + due to a lack of any other eligible family members, kaia was left in the custody of her uncle ( dad’s younger brother ) and it was...disastrous, to say the least; daniel had pretty much resigned to a life of forever being a bachelor and fucking around and now he had a four year old niece that he was expected to raise???

her uncle was a trashbag with a few shreds of decency (driven by guilt) in him — he wasn’t going to dump her into the foster system but he sure as hell didn’t want anything to do with her ! so in true trashbag fashion, he just decided to completely neglect her, pretend like she wasn’t there and hope she’d get the hint, and it took her a while to figure this out?? kaia was a sweet kid who went from having a shit ton of affection and love to being ignored and treated like she was a nuisance, and it fucked w her head at four years old

she wound up raising herself; all her uncle was good for was giving her a place to live, making sure she had clothes on her back and food in her stomach, and putting on an act when people gave a second glance their way. the only time he really wanted anything to do with her was when he could benefit her somehow, like keep one of his girlfriends around ( they all found kaia adorable and daniel ‘admirable’ for stepping up ) or when it came to the $$, her parents had left her a little but daniel pretty much absorbed it and took it for himself, to throw more parties or buy booze or play sugar daddy to one of his hookups?? like i said, trashbag

kaia and her uncle were roommates at best, and that was pushing it — she struggled a lot with the neglect internally, and her way of coping was to push it down, push it down, suppress with a smiling face and act like all was well. daniel was enough of a decent person to let her continue with the dance lessons which she absolutely adored, dance was her Everything, and by the time she hit high school, she started teaching classes at the studio she learned at in order to make some $$ that daniel wouldn’t take for his own

the older she got, the more she’d fight back a little against daniel and they had their fair share of fights ( which usually ended in daniel saying something to shut her down entirely and she’d scramble away ) but even despite that, sHE NEVER GAVE UP HOPE ON HIM...?? like, kaia always gave him the benefit of the doubt even though he’d proved himself time and time again thAT HE DIDN’T DESERVE IT

to her it was v black and white, she didn’t understand why tf he wouldn’t just get over himself and be a Family ( daniel is Where she gets her stubbornness tbh ) but despite having a little resent towards him, kaia never ever stopped hoping that he’d wake up one day and they’d start being a family and she still hasn’t bc optimist in the highest degree

when it came to college, kaia knew if she didn’t get out of chicago she was literally going to be sick, there was just smth about the loneliness there that made her skin crawl ( she also hates the winter now so she had to get as far away from snow as possible lmao ) and so she was like “alright i need a college on the west coast and w my dance major”, found crawford, and it was Settled

you ain’t getting my gossip blog secret out of me *wink*

anyways, now that the tragic backstory has been #unlocked...onto kaia

she’s the sanguine, which basically means bitch is a ball of sunshine, which she is — there’s no such thing as a stranger in her world, she likes constantly being surrounded by people ( bc she gotta make up for being lonely all those childhood years, thanks a ton dAN ) and making new friends and going out, she just loves people and people usually love her, she knows how to reel them in and keep them by her side, girlie will do Anything

she flat-out refuses to see the bad in people, even if it is staring her in the face, and this is where her stubborn nature comes in to play?? you can’t tell her anything, once her mind is set on something there is no hope of ever talking her out of it, she’s got to come to her senses on her own and even then it’s usually too late or she diminishes the impact of it?? she’s rash and got bad tunnel vision so it’s p clear where disaster lies w her

has the unhealthiest coping mechanisms on the history of the planet, tbh; she thinks the cure to everything is putting a smile on and acting like it’s not a problem and while that works when one fails a test, it doesn’t work w everything and she’s just forced so much pain and depression and anger down that it is Bound to come right back up at some point, so basically homegirl is a ticking time bomb

kaia’s also a people pleaser, she’d literally give you a kidney if you asked, which makes it easy for people to manipulate her?? and she doesn’t always see when she’s being manipulated either?? and won’t always stand up for herself when she’s being treated unfairly??? she just likes keeping the peace if at all possible

blurs the line a lot between doing things because she can and doing things because she feels an obligation to so she doesn’t let anyone down

ever since her parents died, she doesn’t like to give anything a second-guess — if she wants to do something, then she’s doing it, because it may not come back around again or she may not have the chance to. is the Definition of living in the moment, which is nice in theory, but kaia is v bad at compartmentalizing so it’s easy for her to get off track or ofc do things that will come back to bite her

dance is life, i’m not even gonna go into detail on it bc this is long enough already and like.....it’s just her whole world, ok, moving along

she wants everyone to let her in but she very rarely returns the favor, which is why i gave her the reticent trait?? she doesn’t tell people about her parents or her uncle, doesn’t let people see that iceberg of emotions underneath the surface, she acts like if it doesn’t exist then it doesn’t as far as anyone’s concerned???

girl is one of the greatest friends you could ever have but is a piece of work when you think about it, tbh, so that being said come love us !

and if you read this far: the reason this STUPID vine is my ooc tag is bc i have an ex named kyle who is a piece of trash and that vine is a p accurate description of how i feel about him.....plus it just makes me laugh ok going now

#「 •• 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 ; what the fuck is up red.#crwfrd.intro

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cosmosogler · 8 years ago

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hello i am here. i took a break from pokemon today except to check up on the pelago for about two minutes while i was waiting at the doctor’s office. and i guess i’ll do the daily stuff in fifteen minutes.

i have been having weeeeird dreams again. i think it’s the birth control... i very rarely have dreams like that when i’m NOT on birth control. it involved me watching a let’s play of sonic adventure 2′s two-player thing and the players couldn’t figure out what to do despite the directions showing up on the screen. i wanted to scream.

then i was looking at sky scrapers. i recognize them in retrospect - they’re in the Big City. i am not usually up that high to see the top of the buildings. there was a family-owned sub sandwich place with a big sign that read “We Cater!” in yellow cursive. it was on top of a radio tower. i mistook it for a billboard until i leaned over and saw the counter with the meat and bread and stuff. there was absolutely no room for a kitchen or tables and the restaurant, or room, was about 10 by 10 feet with glass walls and the sign over the door. i asked “how did this happen?” out loud and then i woke up.

the early part of the dream was me wandering around in the fog on a dock that was also a college campus. i had to get an ark down from the mountain. because i needed more bible symbolism in my dreams? there was some kind of party going on, because every now and then people would appear from the fog wearing bright colors and carrying balloons and prize bags and kazoos and stuff. i think they spoke simlish, or something i didn’t understand very well. i ended up getting the ark down by doing a weird optical illusion thing. i was standing far away from it, so it looked small, so i just picked up the small ark between my thumb and finger and put it in the river. then when i got close it was big again. i think that’s where they were playing the video games. it was in a wooden room at least.

the thing that makes these dreams weird is that they are even more disorienting and mashed together than usual. generally there’s some kind of theme connecting my dreams, like the colors or mood or some phrase or motivation. or i will deliberately try to leave one dream if i don’t like it, and once i leave i forget what i was doing and have the new dream. there’s nothing particularly sexual or anything in these dreams, as you can see, but :/

i don’t like it at all.

i felt that disorientation all morning. the shower was a haze, and right after i washed my hair i couldn’t remember if i’d washed my hair yet or not. there was still soap in my hair so i figured it out. when i left to drive to the doctor’s i forgot the garage door was broken. then when i was driving i started dissociating really bad. i was trying to watch the road, but i was also like observing myself driving and everything looked really far away and it was hard to focus. usually when i’m driving and something like that happens a million alarms go off in my head, and that happened, but it was also hard to care. i made it to the doctor without incident though. when i checked in i noticed they had monsters inc on in the corner and there was a little kid watching it with her mom and that cheered me up a little bit.

the doctor changed up my birth control prescription, so hopefully i won’t be so sore and sick all the time next month. she also recommended that i start keeping a food journal to see if there are patterns in what makes me sick and less sick. so i will make more of an effort to write down what i ate and how i felt afterward. i totally forgot to take my anti nausea meds twice today but it was ok.

i was ok driving home. i put on some music i like. i decided to hold off on picking up the new meds until tomorrow to see if my other prescriptions are ready by then. i still have some time left before i need to get more wellbutrin and stuff, so hopefully if there’s a problem i can get a refill from my doctor on monday.

for lunch i had my leftovers from manuel’s. a spinach enchilada and some espinaca con queso. it’s a pretty cheesy meal, but i did ok. i felt just as sick as yesterday and i ate roughly the same amount, which was about three quarters of what i had rationed myself. after that i was doing something on the computer... i don’t remember what it was. i think i was looking at some videos i didn’t have time to get to yesterday and when i finished that, my brother and dad had moved all the bookcases out of the hallway and into my sister’s unoccupied room. so dad asked me to clean the floorboards. so i took a rough cloth and wiped off the dirt. dad is going to paint the hallway sometime in the near future. i was going to say he didn’t need to bother, but, thinking about it, it really needs it. there’s still crayon markings from when my brother was a toddler a few years after we moved in.

after that i called the outpatient hospital thing that my therapist recommended! i am going to be “assessed” on monday. it meets for like nine hours a week. i am hoping i get in, and i am hoping it will be helpful, although i am not sure what it entails or how many weeks i will theoretically be attending. i will have to remember to ask those questions on monday. i also looked up some reviews online and there weren’t any comments on being “treated like an animal” or “left in the waiting room for 7 hours” so i am hoping it will be good. they also take my insurance.

after that i bummed around on tumblr until i realized it was too late to also call the school about my tuition. maybe tomorrow...

dad and i went to thai food for dinner. i started feeling really sick about halfway into my soup but i forced myself to continue eating because thai food is my favorite. like, i have liked almost every thai dish i have ordered at any restaurant. this one doesn’t make the very best food, but it is very good, and they also do vegetarian soups which are magnificent and i can’t seem to find any other thai place that makes them. so dad and i go to this one. i decided to try something new and got “spicy noodle.” which was basically black pepper with some noodles and broccoli. it was pretty good!

dad was too tired to go to the game store to play terraform mars so we went home after dinner. i set up onitama and got him a beer and we played a round of that. it took like 25 minutes, while with asher they usually took 10 to 15 minutes. dad ended up pulling a very unexpected win in literally the last turn after i’d put pressure on him since turn 3 or so. it’s like chess except more crowded and fewer options. it’s hard to explain without the board and pieces in front of me.

after that i sat and thought for a while. my sister used to have a very similar problem to the one i am having now. constant stomachaches, feeling nauseous, stuff like that. that started when we were very young, like “eating solid food now” young, and seemed to still be happening when i left for high school. when i see her next, probably on easter for the family gathering, i will ask whether or not that ever stopped or if she just started hiding it better. i think she started feeling better after having a nose surgery... so it might not be the same problem. i have a much wider nose and don’t have a lot of breathing problems except a weird respiration cycle that probably developed because of my heart problem.

after that i was talking to asher and i brought up that game where you find a young teenager with like a sparkledog oc and you draw it and make the kid happy. an artist named coral did that for me once when my secret santa was a no-show one year. i was 14. it blew my mind! i spent so much time after that trying to draw like her. my style is much different from hers now, but i think i am about at the same level technical wise. i have never been a popular artist but i think having someone with practice draw your first oc is kind of magical regardless.

so i spent like two hours combing through the internet looking for goofy ocs made by kids. i noticed that my little pony and five nights at freddy’s is very popular. i don’t know much about those... but i found a few examples of “baby’s first character” so i will try to at least do some sketches tomorrow evening. maybe it will help me start drawing again.

i wanted to go to bed at 11:30, but now it is 12:30, because i am dumb and said “i’m just gonna write something really quick” at 11:30, which is when i ran out of resources to find mostly unironic eye-searing sparkledogs.

also in one of the “young artist” groups on deviantart there was tentacle porn and i don’t know how to feel about that. (it was... pretty vanilla actually.) and some vaguely sensual shirtless photo realistic paintings of star wars fan characters. and there was one folder with pages upon pages of ms paint anime drawings by one person from 2010.

i don’t miss being a kid.

i’m going to try to sleep and hope my hellacious dream torment ends soon.

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sulfurousdreamscapes · 8 years ago

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It was the morning I was going to get the bow. Made from the wood from the Tha'syl forest, it would be the first bow I would use in my whole life that wasn’t a hand-me-down. The entire previous night, the song of the Cleric had been ringing in my ears. I went to sleep humming it, and I woke up humming it. I’d heard it only once before, when we made camp, on our quest to retrieve the goblet of the elven queen. And yet, it had remained lodged in my head like a fly in a spider’s web. I’d devoured it, and now it was a part of me: every note, every sound, every plucked string of the harp, every beat of the drum.

“I don’t really know if I’m ready for this,” I said, kneeling before my mentor, the old elf Dorannir. He conferred the bow to me, and I didn’t really have much choice in accepting it.

“You’ll never be ready for it if you keep wondering,” he said, “I spent a good deal on having this made, just for you. You deserve it, more than anyone else I know.”

“Even more than Tele'zica?” I asked. The very name made his face drop, and I fell sorry for bringing her up. “You know I would rather not have to think of her,” he said. I nodded and apologised. I felt the bow in my hands. I drew the string and fired at a blob of goo jumping around near the trees. It died instantly. Satisfied, I retrieved the arrow, and also some of the gold the blob had left behind.

I had an MP3 of the song. Yeah, that was a different era—YouTube was too unknown, and you didn’t have Spotify or Pandora to stream songs from. Back then, you searched high and low on the Internet for songs. And this song, from the MMO? Oh, it was rare. I found it on a file sharing tracker: a private one. It was like my little treasure. I played it over and over again. That probably explains my obsession with it.

Dorannir had been moved by the song too. Or well, that’s what I called him most of the time, but his screen name was Sugi49. The 49 stood for the year the People’s Republic of China was founded. He’d admitted that he’d had questionable taste in screen names as a kid. Any way, he had some video editing program, and he was working on a video for the song. It would have lyrics, and graphics and even animations and stuff. I think you kids call it ‘lyrics video’ nowadays.

“I know what you’re wishing,” I said to him over MSN Messenger, “You wish Tele'zica was here to hear the song.”

“Yeah,” he replied. He sent a nudge, which shook the entire chat window around. He knew I hated that.

I knew the full lyrics to the song by now, and I’d sung it a few times. Sugi49 wanted to hear me sing it, but my voice was too terrible for that.

I played the recording back. My microphone was terrible, and it picked up a lot of noise. All in all, it sounded like my voice was coming out of a shoddy radio. With a beating heart, I searched online for a host to upload it on (again, you have to remember that this was a time before Google Drive, Vocaroo, Dropbox and all these fancy services). I didn’t find one, so I told Sugi49 that I’m going to send it over MSN Messenger. And I did. And on my speed, it was going to take four hours to send one audio file. I sighed.

“It’s not really very good, and the microphone is bad too, so like, don’t judge it too much, okay?” I said.

Sugi49 lol’d. “I just hope neither of us have a disconnect. Then we’ll have start the transfer all over again,” he said. Ugh, I thought—disconnects are the worst.

I spent the next hour reading the MMO’s official forums. It was our own little community. A little hidey-hole from the rest of the world. I say this in retrospect, of course. Back then, it was just there—just so obvious, that I never even questioned it being there for me. I wouldn’t have used the term ‘escapist fantasy’ then because it just sounds so patronising. Like I’m a fucking child who needs escapist play to feel good about myself.

And then, on another lazy refresh, I saw the thread. It was Dorannir’s thread about the lyric video he’d made. “What the fuck?” I said to him over messenger, “You didn’t show me first?”

“Surprise!” he replied.

The video had been uploaded to this new video uploading site that was starting to pick up popularity. It was like Photobucket for videos, you could say. They called it… YouTube.

I started playing the video, and it took ages to buffer. I decided to leave it on buffer and left the computer. I helped mum cook, and she was glad about that, for once. I was glad I could make mum happy. Even though she’s a bitch most of the time.

When I returned, I hit play on the video. The video wasn’t really special, you have to understand. It was actually quite bad in comparison to what gets made today. But Sugi49 had poured his everything into it. It was full of effects. There were images from the game: wallpapers from the official site, key art, concept art, loading screens, even a screenshot or two. Sugi49 had used almost every transition and every effect available in his program. There was that old-timey-movie effect, there was the black-and-white, there was the shredder transition.

The song was ethereal, and Sugi49 had used imagery from outside the game, too. Clouds, forlorn-looking elven girls, full moons shining over the sea. There was an album cover, too. The band was Nightwish. He loved them, but I only got into metal much later.

And of course the video stopped buffering midway through. So much for waiting an hour for it to load.

Sugi49’s video blew up on the forum. No one had really made a lyrics video for this specific song from this specific MMO before, so it proved to be really popular, and a lot of players with internet connections far better than mine praised him for his effort and how cool the video was and asked him if he was going to make more.

He didn’t talk to me much that day. Of course he didn’t. He was too busy talking to people on the forum and answering private messages. He didn’t even show up in the game. I tried playing a bit myself, using my new bow, but I couldn’t bring myself to hum the song anymore. I didn’t even like being a Cleric class and using the bow. I wanted to punch the Cleric ‘Sister’ who sings the song in the game. It’s a stupid song.

I asked Sugi49 on Messenger if he listened to my recording. He said my connection dropped during the transfer and it was interrupted. I started the transfer again. Meanwhile, an anime episode I had on download finally completed downloading, so I hit play. As a side, I feel like the long downloads from back then really meant something. When you’ve had to spend days for an episode, weeks for a series, a month or two for a game, you start to treat them as something special. It’s almost like spending money on entertainment, except not.

I left a comment in the forum. “Nice video, Dorannir,” it said. Nice and simple. He never thanked me for it. Fine, I thought. I’ll just listen to J-Pop and anime themes. Fucking Sailor Moon cared more for me than Sugi49.

I didn’t really know what came over me to hate Sugi49’s popularity. It was like he’d been torn away from me. He’d become famous and now he probably didn’t care about little ol’ me. It was so stupid, but I couldn’t shake it off. Mum asked if I’ll help her cook. I told her I’m not feeling up to it. She said something passive aggressive. I sniped back. We argued. Also, fuck Sugi49.

In the evening, I asked him if he’d listened to my recording. He said he hadn’t. Then he checked, to make sure. Nope, the file download had stalled at 42% for some reason, and it wasn’t moving beyond that. We waited half an hour to be sure, and then cancelled the transfer. “This is never going to work,” I typed, and deleted a sad face emoticon before sending the message.

“Prolly not,” he said.

“Enjoying your new-found popularity?” I asked.

“Yeah sure, why not,” he replied.

“Well, there are people who don’t enjoy popularity, you know. Or like, there’s impostor syndrome, if you’ve heard of that,” I said.

“Ugh, so many PMs,” he said, “I give up answering all of them. Brb, gonna get some lunch.”

I played the recording of my voice again. And again. My own ugly voice singing to myself. I wanted to get on a boat, ride out into the middle of the ocean, and drown the damn recording. I’d let it sink to the bottom of the ocean floor only after I was sure it was dead. Unfortunately, digital data cannot be drowned.

That, and I’m scared shitless of open bodies of water.

Call it prophecy, call it a vision from the future, call it what you will. I realised how little all of this matters. I won't be playing this game forever. It's not even particularly huge, so it's almost likely going to be shut down at some point. Will Sugi49 and I still be friends then? Will the forums continue? Probably not the latter—those will be shut down with the game. The roleplays, the fanfiction, the discussion threads and polls, all gone. All the comments praising Dorannir and his mighty lyrics video would disappear into the aether of the internet, only to be resurrected in some Internet Archive page—if anyone cares to look.

It made me sad.

I messaged Sugi49. "Sorry," I said. "What for?" he said almost immediately. "I don't know, just sorry, I guess," I said. He sensed that I was having a pretty profound time right now, so he chose to accept the apology.

"Can you upload that audio to YouTube?" he asked me. He helped me put the audio into a video container with a basic title screen and a graphic of the game. It was kinda cool. I set it for upload, and sighed, almost certain that my connection was going to drop, or the upload was going to stall, or someone was going to bomb my house, or I was going to die in a flood, or something.

I went around looking at some fanart. and that's when I got a message from an excited Sugi49. "You won't believe what just happened," he said. I disagreed, but never mind. "Tele'zica just messaged me. She said the video is great. She's alive! I don't believe this," he said.

The irony is that he definitely didn't believe this, but I did. I mean, why the hell would I care enough to not believe it.

"What did she say?" I offered some interest.

"Nothing, just 'great video'," he said, but soon after added, "She's asking me how I am and stuff now. She's really back."

"Good for you," I typed, and deleted it without sending.The upload was working, so I just stared at the progress bar for a while. It moved really, really slow.

Somewhere in the game, in a forest where monsters once roamed, I sat down next to the campfire. "It's nice to be alone," I typed in the local chat. There was nobody around. Just me, and the chat box. There will be a time when even I won't be here. And the chat box won't be here. We'll only remember it by screenshots—old photographs proving that it once existed, and that it displayed people's messages.

Everything passes? The bow I have, that Dorannir spent so much gold on. The graphics and sounds here. All gone, but still tormenting me in my memories.

So what happened then? No, my YouTube video upload failed. And then at one point, my computer broke and I had to get the hard drive formatted, so I lost both the audio of me singing and the video I'd made out of it. Sugi49 and I stopped talking daily, then weekly, then monthly, and now we barely say hi.

Nearly a decade later, his lyrics video is still up on YouTube, although the comments have stopped trickling in. I can always revisit that—until YouTube is gone too, I guess.

This post was delayed due to technical issues.

Today’s throwback story is about a really tall tower.

#writing #writers of tumblr #writeblr #story #short story #spilled ink #spilled words #words #daily writing

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5hfanfiction · 8 years ago

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Please Notice (Chapter 1)

Summary: Camila Cabello has made Lauren’s life a living hell ever since freshman year of high school. In her junior year, Lauren finally meets someone who makes her feel less alone. The problem? She lives thousands of miles away. For over a year, Juliet has been Lauren’s rock. Lauren thinks she’s finally found the girl she’s meant to be with - but her friends aren’t so sure. In fact, they’re not even entirely convinced that she’s real.

[ 01:28 ] Can I call you?

[ 01:29 ] Aren’t you at school?

[ 01:29 ] Ditched. Please? I need you.

Lauren bites her lip, staring at her phone screen and trying not to cringe at how desperate she sounds.

Phone calls are rare occasions between the two of them and Lauren very seldom asks about it. There’s some kind of unspoken barrier there that tells her she isn’t supposed to. The times they have called one another were very spur of the moment, and about ninety-five percent of the time Juliet asks. Of course, Lauren always obliges.

Today, she just really needs to talk to her.

She needs to hear the sound of her voice that she’s almost forgotten. Even if it’s static-y and warped through the phone lines, it’s still Juliet, and she’s still the only person Lauren wants to talk to when she has a day like this.

Lauren’s not really sure why she’s reacting so badly to the day’s events; her friends have been much harsher on her and Camila’s treatment has been much worse. So why was today the day she decided to let her emotions get the better of her? She was supposed to be in history class, bored out of her mind and day dreaming about a life beyond high school - a life with no Camila, and hopefully a lot more Juliet.

Instead, Lauren had skipped class and drove herself home, knowing full well she’d be getting an earful tomorrow when her friends saw she didn’t show to her seventh period English class that they all shared.

After months of just taking it, the Juliet criticism combined with Camila’s treatment had become too much in the moment. That horrible sense of dread washed over her and she had to leave. She had to go. She had to be anywhere but there.

But now she’s home, and she doesn’t feel any better.

She needs Juliet.

[ 01:34 ] I’m sorry, babe. I can’t. I’m with my parents. Why? What happened?

Lauren’s face falls and her stomach drops in the worst of ways.

She’d been hoping that for once, she could do things on her terms. That she could need Juliet and Juliet would be there, just like Lauren was.

If Juliet ever messaged her asking to call, saying that she had a bad day, Lauren would drop everything and pick up her phone. There’s no question in her mind. Anything that was happening could be put on hold, because Juliet needed her and Lauren would go to the ends of the Earth to make Juliet feel safe.

She throws her phone down onto the bed, pacing around her room as anger slowly fills her body.

Why does Juliet get to decide when they do and don’t talk? Just for once, can’t Lauren dictate anything that happens in their relationship?

It’s not selfish to want to talk to your girlfriend every once in a while. And shouldn’t Juliet want to talk to her? They’re in a relationship. A long distance one, at that. Phone calls and video chatting are the only forms of verbal communication they have - and Juliet doesn’t have a webcam, nor the means to FaceTime, so phone calls are their only option.

Lauren knows that she and Juliet had an agreement not to show one another pictures of their faces, that they should fall in love blindly, but she is in love, and shouldn’t a year and a half be enough time to have proven her sincerity? She’s ready. Juliet says she’s ready - but with one condition. It has to be live. She wants the first time they see each other to be real. Not just a simple photograph. Real.

Lauren can appreciate that, but there’s been no progress made. Juliet can’t buy a webcam on her own, and every time Lauren offers to pitch in, she’s completely shot down. Lauren’s been extremely patient, has never interrogated Juliet or questioned her authenticity, but days like these make it really hard.

She can deal with not seeing her for a couple of months - after all, she’s gone this long, what’s a little while longer? But she needs something else. Something tangible. Something other than voiceless instant messages that could be written by anyone anywhere. It’s so impersonal, and to be honest, Lauren’s never been much of a texter. Or IMer. Whatever the term may be.

She’s one of those put the phone down and take a look at the world types. Not that Lauren doesn’t accept or appreciate technology, she just thinks it’s abused in today’s day and age. She’s okay with a few texts here and there and some brief computer time, but she’s always been the kind of person who lives in reality. Not online. That is, until her entire world became only accessible to her through computer and phone screens.

Lauren’s adopted a different lifestyle for Juliet. One that includes the obsessive checking of her phone and computer for messages. She doesn’t go out as much, and prefers not to venture anywhere she’s sure won’t have Internet connection.

What if Juliet gets hurt or upset or just wants to talk and Lauren’s not there? She could miss a phone call opportunity or even worse, just a chance to talk to her girlfriend.

Her friends have noticed this change in her, and it’s probably one of the reasons they’re so against Lauren and Juliet’s relationship. Even Lauren has to admit she’s changed a lot of the things that made her her to be with Juliet. But these are all necessary sacrifices she’s willing to make. Love is all about compromise, and Lauren’s more than willing to adapt if it means keeping Juliet in her life.

So why can’t Juliet have the same courtesy? Why can’t she bend a little? Why is everything always on her terms? They can only call when she’s able to, they can’t video chat because she doesn’t have a webcam, the possibility of them meeting isn’t even a prospect because she refuses to give Lauren her address - and California’s a pretty big place. She wouldn’t know the first place to look.

Lauren’s tired. She’s tired of giving and not getting anything in return. Tired of Camila and tired of her friends and tired of wanting someone who can’t be touched.

But mostly she’s angry. Angry that she’s treated this way. That she’s done nothing to Camila Cabello and she still walks around school shoving and taunting her like she’d run her dog over. That her friends can’t trust her to make decisions on her own. That maybe she can’t make decisions on her own. That she’s having a shitty day and her girlfriend won’t even talk to her. That everything in her life has turned out this way and she can’t do anything to change it.

She finally stops pacing and walks over to her phone, fully intent on giving Juliet a piece of her mind. As rare as phone calls were, fights between the two of them were even fewer, but this felt almost inevitable.

Lauren takes a seat on the edge of the bed, grabbing her phone and seeing she has quite a few unread messages. All from Juliet.

[ 01:47 ] Baby?

[ 01:52 ] Laur, I’m sorry.

[ 01:52 ] Believe me, if I could call you, I would.

[ 01:59 ] God, I’d do anything to hear your voice right now.

[ 02:09 ] Please don’t be mad…

[ 02:21 ] Are you okay? Please answer me.

[ 02:34 ] I’m sorry. I’m saving up, okay? I’m gonna get a webcam and we can Skype whenever you want and you’ll be able to see in my eyes how in love with you I am.

[ 02:45 ] I know you’re mad at me, but please just respond and let me know you’re okay. I’m getting worried.

[ 02:48 ] If you really need me to, I’ll call, okay? I’m with family but I’ll go to the bathroom and we can talk. Okay?

A wave of guilt instantly washes over Lauren and just like that, all of her anger has dissipated.

She’s starting to realize how much of an ass she was being, and all at once she’s extremely grateful that she hadn’t lashed out at Juliet like she’d been planning to.

None of this was her fault.

It wasn’t Juliet’s fault that Lauren’s friends didn’t believe she’s real. It wasn’t her fault that she had a bad day. It wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t talk. And it definitely wasn’t her fault that Camila Cabello existed.

With a sigh of irritation, directed only at herself, Lauren shakes her head and messages her girlfriend back.

[ 02:56 ] No, I’m sorry. I’m okay. You really don’t have to do that. I’m just… having a tough day. You make it better, though.

There’s an immediate response, and Lauren chews her lower lip anxiously wondering if the other girl had just been sitting there staring at her phone, waiting for a reply.

[ 02:56 ] Are you sure? I want to be there for you.

[ 02:57 ] I’m sure, and you are. Did you mean what you said about the webcam?

[ 02:57 ] Of course I did. And I meant the part about my eyes, too. And being in love with you. Because I am. Totally in love with you.

Lauren giggles softly, amazed at how easy it is for Juliet to turn her mood around. No one’s ever had this kind of effect on her, and while a little scary, it’s a good feeling.

She imagines it’d bother her a lot more if it were someone else. But it’s Juliet, and Juliet has this incredible way of making Lauren feel safer thousands of miles away than anyone else could with their arms wrapped around her.

[ 02:58 ] I’m in love with you too, dork.

[ 02:29 ] I’m not the dork, you’re the dork, dork.

[ 02:29 ] The fact that you just used dork that many times in one sentence proves that you’re the dork.

[ 02:30 ] Fine. But I’m the luckiest dork in the world.

The day goes on with no more noteworthy occurrences, but Lauren falls asleep that night with her phone in her hand and a smile on her face thinking that maybe she’s the luckiest dork in the world.

But, as it usually goes for Lauren, that happiness is extremely short-lived.

She wakes up to forty-six unread messages - one from Juliet, and the rest divided up between Dinah, Ally and Normani in a group chat they’d created forever ago.

She immediately sits up in her bed, confused and concerned. She checks the time. She isn’t late, so there’s no reason for them to all be texting her like this.

Swallowing the lump beginning to form in her throat, Lauren opens her phone and checks the messages.

[ 06:23 - Dinah ] Cabello’s gone too far this time. Whatever you have with that ‘Juliet’ chick, end it. She’s one of them, Lo.

a/n: dun dun dun… sorry about the little cliffhanger there, you’ll definitely learn more about that next chapter. until then, i’d love to see all of your speculations :p also!! i was super overwhelmed by all the positive comments and you guys wanted some more, so i’m givin it to ya. thank you to everyone who’s taken an interest. i’ve got lots of plans for this story and will be continuing it as a series. sorry if this was a little short, the next chapter will be much longer. this was just kinda givin you some insight on lauren’s feelings and the juliet/lauren dynamic, so let me know how you liked it! hope you all have a lovely day x

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #angst drama #humour #romance fluff #submission #Please Notice

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