#as a fellow bi I get it

[stephofromcabin12]

🫵 this is gonna get personal for a sec, I'm bisexual and demisexual, and my family keeps making homophobic comment. I haven't come out to them because of the comments, I just need something honestly.

[I have not edited this and I wrote it p soon after waking up so apologies for any typos or tangents — I hope the point shines through — in case someone hasn’t told you today: You’re valued, You’re worthy, You bring something to the table no one else can bring; Yourself. And I’m glad you’re here🩷]

Hey lovely anon,

Let me start by saying: You owe no one the priviledge of knowing that side of you. That’s a gift you choose when and where and to whom you give. Just because they’re family does not automatically give them an all access-pass to all of you. It’s a privilege earned through mutual respect and kindness. Don’t feel that you must come out to them, especially if you worry it’s not going to be received well.

I understand the wish to share it, because it is a part of who you are but you must remember that there is no arguing with ignorance, especially not if it’s stubborn and self-inflicted.

A therapist once told me that everything people say to you is a reflection of themselves. Meaning, if people feel the need to joke about you, point fingers and criticize you unwarranted, it’s usually a marker that they see how evolved you are, how smart and accepting and glowing you are. They see how easily you rest in yourself and allow others to do the same; and they’re uncomfortable with that because they lack those skills, and so they must try to knock you down to their level, so they can feel better. Let them try. The key in doing that is to Observe their behavior but don’t Absorb it. Know that it’s not you they’re talking about when they say those things; it’s them. And that’s got absolutely zero to do with you.

Don’t sink to their level, that’s exactly what they want, anon. Rise above it, floating over their lowly, narrow-mindedness really puts just how small their world is into perspective. Becoming bitter only festers into something worse, and you shouldn’t allow that kind of rot into your garden, it you can avoid it. Cut it out at the root and let something better and healthier grow instead.

Next, I want you to remember that there are people out there who will celebrate you, who will love you and accept you as you are and as you grow, regardless of what labels you pick up or put down or replace or find again (because labels are just a marker of here and now, not a definitive statement, because people aren’t definite—I’m not trying to sound like those people who say sexuality is just a phase but rather that you should focus on what feels like you right now rather than search for a label to put on it; sometimes there isn’t one, and that’s okay too. Which I’m probably only feeling called to say because I wish someone had told me that when I was younger and obsessing over what word to introduce myself to the world with, instead of just introducing me as myself)

And maybe your family can learn how to be those people, in time, if they’re willing to learn; oftentimes people are cruel towards things they don’t understand—and it’s not your job to force someone them to understand, anon.

You can present the opportunity to them, but you can’t make them learn. They have to want that for themselves. Give them time, sometimes they need that. But if they refuse then that’s their loss. You don’t have to make a big fuss about this. You just don’t grant them access to that part of you indefinitely until they earn it back. Simple as that.

A piece of advice from someone who had to learn to bite their tongue instead of engaging with idiocracy: Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is learn to shrug it off. No, it’s not fair and you want to educate, you want to share your truth and teach them some empathy. But you can’t. It’s not up to you.

And it’s an endless cycle. They won’t learn until they want to. So unclench your jaw, and drop your shoulders and learn the beautiful words: “Sure, whatever you say!” Before promptly moving on so you don’t feed their need for discussing things they dont understand or have a say in, in the first place.

They expect a fight. They expect to be proven right in their belief that they’re the rational one by making you lash out. And if you simply dismiss them in a levelheaded way, then you strip them of both of those things. You signal that “I heard what you said, but that’s an immature and uneducated thing to say, so I’m going to give you the grace of letting it slide and moving on” - akin to not entertaining a petulant child; they don’t know better, or feign not to anyway. So you’ll treat them as such. They say kill them with kindness, I prefer gentle redirection. You’re not hardening to match them, you can be firm and gentle at the same time. That’s real power. That’s maturity. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that your journal and or your therapist will hear all about this.

But move on. Save yourself the added irritation.

Next ask yourself: Do you love yourself? Do you accept yourself? Have you made a home for yourself in your body and soul and stand by it, no matter what? Do you show up for yourself and trust yourself?

That’s all you need at the end of the day, anon. The opinions of others who don’t understand you—and sometimes don’t wish to understand you— don’t matter. The right people will not always understand you at first; but they’re curious about you, and want to learn about you because they love you.

I can’t say if your family falls into that category, and the experience of hearing harmful, ignorant comments from the people who are supposed to be in your corner is all too familiar in the community. But my old 7th grade teacher once sat in our class, which consisted of 20 young girls—all of whom struggled with our identities in one way or another— and told us a story about her son, who was maybe 5 or 6 at the time. She told us how he came home crying after being called names by the other kids in his class. Before messaging the school, she sat with him, hugged him and asked him to repeat everything they’d said. Every little thing.

He did. He listed it all— admittedly very juvenile insults but to a five year old they’d been detrimental— and when he finished, she looked him in the eyes and asked:

“Well, are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you all those things?”

“No! That’s why I’m so upset! It’s not true!”

“Okay, then that’s all that matters. Who cares if they *think* you are something. If you know you’re not, you’ll prove them wrong eventually by simply not becoming their assumptions.”

I’m sure she phrased it more in a way that a young child would understand but to us, who were older: 13 and having to decide who we were, it was a golden. Once you know yourself, anon, it takes a lot for people to get to you. Because anything they throw at you, you simply hold up to the truth of you, and if it doesn’t fit; throw it away. It’s not yours to keep then.

Regardless of the outcome, if you choose to come out— because it is your choice, and you don’t have to be out to be in the community, and you don’t have to be out to everyone you know— Know who you are. Rest in it.

When people question it or try to tear it down; don’t crumble. You can’t be a twig here, anon. You have to grow to a point where it takes more than a miss-step to break you.

You have to rest in your own self like an old oak tree with roots reaching miles down into the earth and branches stretching tall to the sky; unafraid to be seen— because there’s nothing about a tree that doesn’t belong here. You’ve grown that tall on your own; you’ve earned this spot in the sun just by staying true to yourself.

All that noise, wind and earthquakes doesn’t matter. You’re rooted in the earth’s core. It’s taken too much strength to grow to be knocked over by a gust of wind or stone thrown. Tree’s aren’t bitter either. Or vengeful. Its so easy to become that but don’t. It’s not worth it. Be as a tree: observing, sometimes seemingly still but always growing quietly. Be everything you wish to have: you want safety and security; become a shelter for yourself. You want friendship and love? Become your own biggest adorer, and your own most trusted friend. You want power and respect? Learn to be powerful without being cruel, and to respect yourself even on your bad days, and bad years. When you do that, others who have done the same healing will recognize it in you, and vice versa, and you’ll find what you’re looking for when it’s meant for you; because you already have it all in yourself. No one can take it from you, or give it to you if you’ve already given it to yourself. And why shouldn’t you? You deserve all those things and more.

Stand tall, anon, and know yourself. You know who you are, and you know there’s people out there who love you, and support you, even if you haven’t met them yet.

I’m with you. You’re not the first to walk this path and you won’t be the last, in that sense you’re never alone. We’re all cheering you on☀️

[v-tired-queer]

Y'ALL HOLY SHIT I just found out that I can be trained in swords by an organization in my area with different classes!! They have ones for daggers and long swords and other kinds of European swords that I can't fully remember right now because I'm too excited!!

I CAN LIVE OUT MY DREAM OF BEING A LESBIAN WHO GENUINELY KNOWS HOW TO WEILD A SWORD!!!! ⚔️✨️❤️🧡🤍🩷💖✨️⚔️

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be a very specific experience, but I think a huge reason I didn't even realize or even want to be bisexual was specifically because of this intersection of my manhood and the way it's viewed

There's this toxic merry-go-round I find myself riding where I am so desperate to not be one of those guys to a woman that it winds up being an inability to connect to women* because of this hyperpolicing I end up doing. For the longest time, I repressed myself because of this impulse, and I find it interesting. It's interesting seeing how this aspect of patriarchy impact me in such a way that I was too afraid of myself and the people around me.

As a trans man, I felt the pressure to prove both that I'm not one of those men, but also, that I wasn't this predatory trans man, that anything I did was in service to proving why I should (or should not) continue to exist. Simultaneously, I am both not a man, but also a predatory man because of my transness, a threat to be contained. I felt this before as somebody who is multisexual, but it somehow affects me more in the aspect of how I interact with women* and womanhood* from the outside.

There isn't an overarching theme to this post, a message about what you can do. It's mostly reflecting on my experiences and thinking about where my impulse to think myself as guilty until proven innocent plays into how I've started viewing myself. I don't want to overgeneralize, but I've seen this expressed by many a trans man*.

[laismoura-art]

🌸🌸 The Order of Cetrion: The Protectors of Life and Virtue 🌸🌸

I was thinking. It is a bit sad that we know nothing about Harumi's clan.

BUT, as Harumi is my main girl and making AUs and Headcanons for her has become a second nature, I thought, "Oh, well! Why not create a clan for her myself? :D"

And thus came: The Order of Cetrion!

Hear me out!

It is canon that Harumi has connections with the Umgadi, so two possibilities came to mind:

The Shirai family came from Outworld.

Their matriarch was a Umgadi who was unsatisfied with their chastity rules and fled to Earthrealm to build something of her own.

She married an Earthrealmer, and so came the first generations of Shirai in Earthrealm.

But I like this one better:

The Shirai are originally from Earthrealm, and for generations, the Grandmistresses, the matriarchs of the Shrai family, have led their clan in defence of Earthrealm (though in a smaller scale in comparison to the Lin Kuei).

They were requested by Lord Liu Kang to participate in the Mortal Kombat on behalf of Earthrealm.

The current Grandmistress herself volunteered as champion and won the tournament!

Her skills did not pass unnoticed by the leader of the Umgadi, who, with the permission of her Queen, Sindel, invited her to stay longer and exchange skills.

Every generation of Grandmistress-to-be was invited to visit Outworld and train with the Umgadi before they could take on their role as head of their clan.

The latest Grandmistress to be invited by the Queen was Harumi Shirai. She was trained by the Umgadi leader at the time, Li Mei.

Harumi trained along two Outworlders named Tanya and Jade and a fellow Earthrealmer named Suchin. They became good friends!

Now, you must be wondering, "Why the Order of Cetrion?"

I imagine Liu was initially taken aback by the idea of bringing Cetrion back, given her corruption and deception. However, Liu considered that if there's one thing that can corrupt, it is fear.

Cetrion feared her mother and the consequences of going against her designs.

But now. Now Kronica was gone, and Cetrion had nothing to fear! There were no secret designs and no sacrifices to be made.

The Goddess of Virtue was free. Free to be virtuous and free to fight for life!

She became a much more active goddess, making actual efforts to protect Earthrealm. She felt joy like never before!

The Shirai were not the first to worship her. But were the first to offer to build a clan of warriors in her name and aid her in her mission to defend Earthrealm.

In exchange for their services, Cetrion gifted them with the most prosperous lands, one their could grow any sort of plant (even the outworldly ones) at any time of the year, so the Shirai could develop and spread their herbalist skills!

The Shirai Gardens are well known for being guarded by magical (poisonous, hallucinogenic) plants!

Another good question you may have is: "Are only women allowed?"

Yes. Much like the Umgadi, only women are allowed to become warriors of Cetrion.

However, men are allowed into the clan if they are to marry one of the warriors!

When a man wishes to marry one of Cetrion's warriors, he must first prove himself worthy of her!

He must go through a trial by combat and face the Grandmistress herself. It is not expected that the man defeats her, just that he fights and persists. Only then, it is proved how willing he is to become hers.

Kuai Liang was named honorary Cetrion warrior when he was merely a boy, perks of being Harumi's best friend. However, it did not free him from the trials!

Kuai Liang fought the Grandmistress Harumi Shirai, and through every flaming punch, he made clear how much he wanted to be hers!

2 years later, another warrior fought for her hand, the first Shirai Ryu Initiate, Hanzo Hasashi!

The warriors were allowed to have as many partners as they desired as well as date among themselves. The Grandmistress performed the trials as well as the weddings!

Only someone above the Grandmistress could perform her wedding, so Harumi invited her former teacher, Li Mei, to perform the ceremony.

Her brother-in-law Tomas walked her down the aisle.

Due to... family issues, Bi-Han did not participate her and Kuai's first wedding.

But by the time of their second wedding, he was in a much better place and agreed to walk both her and Kuai down the aisle.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hey! You made it to the end!! So, thoughts? Questions? Suggestions?

Please, invite me to talk more about my girl!👀👀🩷

Tagging the gang for more brainstorming: @mikka-minns @thedragonholder @dinainsun @gwenthefirecracker

[capybaraonabicycle]

Anne: I want to be like you: Unmarried because I don't give a shit about romance.

Josephine: Anne, I'm a lesbian. And my wife just died.

[decepti-geek]

see, since discovering that there's like, an active Worst Witch fandom, the burning question on my mind is how many 2017 show fans have also read the books

for the specific reason of, are people aware that in the books, it is the Grand Wizard who fulfils Miss Bat's role of remembering Algie and wondering what happened to him for thirty years

[bilestat]

not to be a loser but I’ve teared up from happiness multiple times over bi buck

[dolores-slay]

Current state of Utena discourse of twitter seems to be like the exact thing everyone would expect to come out of current social media and utena combination but somehow still infinitely more disappointing that it's actually happening.

Idk what started it but now we have people saying there's no way a person can be attracted to someone who ends up abusing them. And the uncharitable followup from that would be to ask 'so is being attracted consent to getting abused by someone?'. And it's a question I don't really want to hear answered honestly because I know the honest answer would be that yes, so many queer people, many of whom are fellow women attracted to women, do think that by being attracted to men, bi women are at least in part bringing on their own abuse.

And Utena is cool to them, they want to relate to this character, of course she didn't bring on her abuse! Which necessitates her being a lesbian, maybe with comphet, and interpreting her as anything else is just delusional hc at best and lesbiphobia at worst.

Thing is there's been people for over 20 years now, existing together in online communities, some of which interpreted Utena as lesbian and some of which interpreted her as bisexual, and we could all exist at the same time because not only is SKU a work of fiction and its characters are not real people, but is also NOTORIOUSLY open to different readings and interpretation and never really provides you any straight (heh) answers to much of anything. One thing we 10000% know is she's not straight.

Usually I have no issue with hyperspecific labeling cause people are allowed to define themselves however they damn want BUT what I'm seeing is specificity about the identities of fictional characters making people go to online war and everyone could really, really be doing something else with their time.

(not to mention the bigger bog going on with calling out longtime fandom archivers for liking a compelling villain or going 'hmmmm kinda sus to me' over not expressing ones fascination with said villain in a way that would be convicing enough to you, personally, that they don't endorse the villain's actions. Like there's media illiteracy which I am myself guilty of often, and then there's just being malicious)

[bylertruther]

sometimes. people on here will say things where i know if i point-blank asked them "hey, do you like butches, femmes, and people that do not 'look' or 'act' queer?" they'll of course say yes duh. and i know if i asked them, "cool. do you think that an androgynous person or 'very gender nonconforming' (for lack of better phrasing) is more queer than someone that isn't?" they'll say no of course not.

but then you read the things they've said about how queer people present themselves, how they "should" present themselves once they've reached a fully realized state, and how it relates to gender and relationships and its like Hmmmmmmmmmm. i don't think you do like any of those three groups i mentioned actually if that's how you really feel on those issues lmao.

it's the same school of thought behind the perplexingly popular idea that because noah wears athleisure, he couldn't possibly be gay (before he came out, this was the common sentiment; and even now, people act like finn is more queer than noah, just because he "looks and acts" like it according to them). this idea that you have to look and act a certain way to be Actually Queer or Queer Enough, and if you don't, then that's because you've fallen victim to conforming or you just aren't as comfortable with your identity. (what? as if there's a single queer identity to begin with?)

that if you're a queer guy and you behave or look masculine, then you just haven't come out of your shell and accepted yourself or experimented enough. that if you're a queer woman and you're feminine, then the same applies, or you're not as queer as a butch woman, who does exhibit gender nonconformity, for example. and if you're butch or femme (+ other equivalents), or in a relationship with your counterpart, then you're perpetuating heteronormativity, as if that's even possible, and we all know that's so very, awfully, terribly Bad, you're a stain on the community, and you have issues you need to work out.

people don't have to look or act in a particular way to be acceptably queer enough. we don't all gravitate towards certain expressions of gender nonconformity or androgyny just because we're queer, and a failure to do that doesn't suggest that we're uncomfortable with ourselves and our identity. you can continue to be yourself as you were even after realizing you're queer. that's not impossible or a bad thing.

femmes and gay men that are masculine in any capacity are not traitors, confused, or less gay. some people are the way that they are, regardless of their sexuality. we don't all morph into the same person when we realize we're queer. that shouldn't be a difficult concept to understand? that's literally just... being a human and treating queer people as such.

those evil gay people who are in "masc/fem" relationships aren't perpetuating heteronormativity either. just because they exist outside of your realm of understanding, or have the kind of relationship that you wouldn't personally want for yourself, that doesn't mean that they aren't members of your community—which is the queer community, in case you forgot—and don't deserve respect, too.

like. it's just so demoralizing lmao. what's so hard to understand about accepting that people are all different and that just because we may belong to the same community, that doesn't mean that we are all the same and must fall in line? it's so tone-deaf, insulting, and just plain unrealistic. you may not mean it that way, but it is. that rhetoric just is.

feminine gay women exist. masculine gay men exist. sometimes they may experiment with their gender expression once realizing this, but they don't always and they don't have to to be considered queer. butch/fem relationships and other similar relationships are not imitations of heterosexuality, because they're fucking gay, and they do not adhere to traditional heterosexual roles, because, again, they're fucking gay.

your experiences and beliefs are not universal. gay people are not clones of each other. stop invalidating or speaking down on other queer people just because you can't relate to them personally. i know some people don't mean to insinuate these things, but you do. you are. constantly. and the people that fall in those categories you've deemed unacceptable and other, see it.

it's so... exhausting to face that in this space, which is supposed to be a respite from the physical world where that happens, too. and those actions, those beliefs that people share, they also bleed into the physical world and how you interact with other people in your community. it's not just little words that you write and have no meaning. it doesn't start and end with a fictional character. the things that you say matter and sometimes they're very troubling.

people who have been in those "fem/masc" relationships, or that identify with any kind of similar label, have not lived a life that's an imitation of heterosexuality, nor are they any less queer than you just because you haven't been in/participate in relationships like that.

[villalunae]

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN

[cicadaknight]

i need an enemies to lovers tale in which a transmasc knight falls in love with their rival

[moonlightsapphic]

EDVIN OMAR NO

[forcebookish]

discarded a longer post about this but something about when ppl speculate about a bl actor's sexuality with "i don't want to assume anyone's sexuality" always about them being possibly gay annoys me. it's never like, "oh he might have a girlfriend, but i don't want to assume he's straight."

idk, it gets under my skin

because when i read it i read, "i'm not going to acCUSE anyone of BEING GAY," ya know?

[impishtubist]

Favorite anons?

So I actually don't know who all my anons are! They might be the same person or multiple people. Of course, I am kissing my Temeraire and Hawkeye Pierce and Remus Lupin breeding anons on the mouth. I still have a soft spot in my heart for the Moonchaser breeding kink anon (who then revealed their identity to me). I'm always glad when someone comes into my inbox in defense of canon Sirius, and also when someone also agrees with me re: fanon Sirius and fanon Remus. I love the anons who bring me prompts or headcanons or crack ideas. I had some Blackcest and Sirry anons in my inbox for a short period of time. I enjoy when people pick up on the Ineffable Wolfstar AU that @lynxindisguise and I were building and send their own thoughts in. And of course there were the series of anons a year or so back where we spun a tale about Remus marrying rich men and murdering them and then being like "oh no" when he got to Sirius 😂 Oh, and my McKirk anons! Someone (I think I know who) likes to leave Bones McCoy headcanons in my inbox and those are always fun.

I honestly don't even care about the hate anons! I have been here for far too long for hate anons to bother me (also I have blocked so many people that I don't get many of them). But the hate anons just give me something to laugh at.

[oasatelematics]

being bisexual really humbles you like randomly snapping out of the static noise of being in love and realising damn im really going googoo gaga starry eyes and so on over a guy who is literally just some guy

[lepakonpaska]

caution, gay joy and rambling in the tags ⚠️