#its so individual
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🫵 this is gonna get personal for a sec, I'm bisexual and demisexual, and my family keeps making homophobic comment. I haven't come out to them because of the comments, I just need something honestly.
[I have not edited this and I wrote it p soon after waking up so apologies for any typos or tangents — I hope the point shines through — in case someone hasn’t told you today: You’re valued, You’re worthy, You bring something to the table no one else can bring; Yourself. And I’m glad you’re here🩷]
Hey lovely anon,
Let me start by saying: You owe no one the priviledge of knowing that side of you. That’s a gift you choose when and where and to whom you give. Just because they’re family does not automatically give them an all access-pass to all of you. It’s a privilege earned through mutual respect and kindness. Don’t feel that you must come out to them, especially if you worry it’s not going to be received well.
I understand the wish to share it, because it is a part of who you are but you must remember that there is no arguing with ignorance, especially not if it’s stubborn and self-inflicted.
A therapist once told me that everything people say to you is a reflection of themselves. Meaning, if people feel the need to joke about you, point fingers and criticize you unwarranted, it’s usually a marker that they see how evolved you are, how smart and accepting and glowing you are. They see how easily you rest in yourself and allow others to do the same; and they’re uncomfortable with that because they lack those skills, and so they must try to knock you down to their level, so they can feel better. Let them try. The key in doing that is to Observe their behavior but don’t Absorb it. Know that it’s not you they’re talking about when they say those things; it’s them. And that’s got absolutely zero to do with you.
Don’t sink to their level, that’s exactly what they want, anon. Rise above it, floating over their lowly, narrow-mindedness really puts just how small their world is into perspective. Becoming bitter only festers into something worse, and you shouldn’t allow that kind of rot into your garden, it you can avoid it. Cut it out at the root and let something better and healthier grow instead.
Next, I want you to remember that there are people out there who will celebrate you, who will love you and accept you as you are and as you grow, regardless of what labels you pick up or put down or replace or find again (because labels are just a marker of here and now, not a definitive statement, because people aren’t definite—I’m not trying to sound like those people who say sexuality is just a phase but rather that you should focus on what feels like you right now rather than search for a label to put on it; sometimes there isn’t one, and that’s okay too. Which I’m probably only feeling called to say because I wish someone had told me that when I was younger and obsessing over what word to introduce myself to the world with, instead of just introducing me as myself)
And maybe your family can learn how to be those people, in time, if they’re willing to learn; oftentimes people are cruel towards things they don’t understand—and it’s not your job to force someone them to understand, anon.
You can present the opportunity to them, but you can’t make them learn. They have to want that for themselves. Give them time, sometimes they need that. But if they refuse then that’s their loss. You don’t have to make a big fuss about this. You just don’t grant them access to that part of you indefinitely until they earn it back. Simple as that.
A piece of advice from someone who had to learn to bite their tongue instead of engaging with idiocracy: Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is learn to shrug it off. No, it’s not fair and you want to educate, you want to share your truth and teach them some empathy. But you can’t. It’s not up to you.
And it’s an endless cycle. They won’t learn until they want to. So unclench your jaw, and drop your shoulders and learn the beautiful words: “Sure, whatever you say!” Before promptly moving on so you don’t feed their need for discussing things they dont understand or have a say in, in the first place.
They expect a fight. They expect to be proven right in their belief that they’re the rational one by making you lash out. And if you simply dismiss them in a levelheaded way, then you strip them of both of those things. You signal that “I heard what you said, but that’s an immature and uneducated thing to say, so I’m going to give you the grace of letting it slide and moving on” - akin to not entertaining a petulant child; they don’t know better, or feign not to anyway. So you’ll treat them as such. They say kill them with kindness, I prefer gentle redirection. You’re not hardening to match them, you can be firm and gentle at the same time. That’s real power. That’s maturity. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that your journal and or your therapist will hear all about this.
But move on. Save yourself the added irritation.
Next ask yourself: Do you love yourself? Do you accept yourself? Have you made a home for yourself in your body and soul and stand by it, no matter what? Do you show up for yourself and trust yourself?
That’s all you need at the end of the day, anon. The opinions of others who don’t understand you—and sometimes don’t wish to understand you— don’t matter. The right people will not always understand you at first; but they’re curious about you, and want to learn about you because they love you.
I can’t say if your family falls into that category, and the experience of hearing harmful, ignorant comments from the people who are supposed to be in your corner is all too familiar in the community. But my old 7th grade teacher once sat in our class, which consisted of 20 young girls—all of whom struggled with our identities in one way or another— and told us a story about her son, who was maybe 5 or 6 at the time. She told us how he came home crying after being called names by the other kids in his class. Before messaging the school, she sat with him, hugged him and asked him to repeat everything they’d said. Every little thing.
He did. He listed it all— admittedly very juvenile insults but to a five year old they’d been detrimental— and when he finished, she looked him in the eyes and asked:
“Well, are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Are you all those things?”
“No! That’s why I’m so upset! It’s not true!”
“Okay, then that’s all that matters. Who cares if they *think* you are something. If you know you’re not, you’ll prove them wrong eventually by simply not becoming their assumptions.”
I’m sure she phrased it more in a way that a young child would understand but to us, who were older: 13 and having to decide who we were, it was a golden. Once you know yourself, anon, it takes a lot for people to get to you. Because anything they throw at you, you simply hold up to the truth of you, and if it doesn’t fit; throw it away. It’s not yours to keep then.
Regardless of the outcome, if you choose to come out— because it is your choice, and you don’t have to be out to be in the community, and you don’t have to be out to everyone you know— Know who you are. Rest in it.
When people question it or try to tear it down; don’t crumble. You can’t be a twig here, anon. You have to grow to a point where it takes more than a miss-step to break you.
You have to rest in your own self like an old oak tree with roots reaching miles down into the earth and branches stretching tall to the sky; unafraid to be seen— because there’s nothing about a tree that doesn’t belong here. You’ve grown that tall on your own; you’ve earned this spot in the sun just by staying true to yourself.
All that noise, wind and earthquakes doesn’t matter. You’re rooted in the earth’s core. It’s taken too much strength to grow to be knocked over by a gust of wind or stone thrown. Tree’s aren’t bitter either. Or vengeful. Its so easy to become that but don’t. It’s not worth it. Be as a tree: observing, sometimes seemingly still but always growing quietly. Be everything you wish to have: you want safety and security; become a shelter for yourself. You want friendship and love? Become your own biggest adorer, and your own most trusted friend. You want power and respect? Learn to be powerful without being cruel, and to respect yourself even on your bad days, and bad years. When you do that, others who have done the same healing will recognize it in you, and vice versa, and you’ll find what you’re looking for when it’s meant for you; because you already have it all in yourself. No one can take it from you, or give it to you if you’ve already given it to yourself. And why shouldn’t you? You deserve all those things and more.
Stand tall, anon, and know yourself. You know who you are, and you know there’s people out there who love you, and support you, even if you haven’t met them yet.
I’m with you. You’re not the first to walk this path and you won’t be the last, in that sense you’re never alone. We’re all cheering you on☀️
#it’s hard to give peptalks on this stuff#its so individual#but i hope some of this helps or resonates in some way at the very least🌈❤️#i’m wishing you all the best in the world anon#as a fellow bi I get it#esp when biphobia is as rampant as it is rn#but you’re the only one who knows who you are; screw em if they can’t appreciate what you offer#someone else will💙💜🩷#pep talk#encouragement#pride#asks and answers#ask game🫒
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Great news for uninsured adults in the USA who want a COVID-19 booster! It now appears that ALL CVS locations are now active participants in the Bridge Access Program. The Bridge Access Program gives out free Covid-19 vaccinations to 18+ adults who otherwise can't afford one, so if you have a CVS near you, please go get one! For others who don't have a CVS near them, please go to vaccines.gov, click on "Find Covid-19 vaccines", fill out which vaccines you prefer (you can mix different vaccines if you have to so i reccomend just marking all of them for the age groups you need), and when the next page loads mark the "Bridge Access Program Participant" option to see only locations that are Bridge Access Program participants. Hopefully, other places that aren't CVS will start participating soon, so just check back every so often to see if there are any updates. The CDC Bridge Access Program website also has more details on what locations will be participating, but only CVS is appearing as an active participant on the vaccines.gov location finder at the moment.
#covid19#covid#coronavirus#vaccines#covid vaccine#bridge access program#CDC#signal boost#please share#coronavirus vaccine#covid19 vaccine#covid 19 vaccine#novavax#moderna#pfizer#also interesting side note but i havent been able to find any vaccine other than novavax near me#perhaps this is just a regional thing or maybe novavax is cheaper to make so those are the most common?#anyway thats why i made sure to tell people its okay to mix up because im going to have to bc i got moderna every other time lol#mayyybe other vaccines will become available in the future??? but ive had close family catch covid left and right so im not waiting#also does anyone know why the bridge program only bridges access to 18 or older individuals?#like i knew the gov didnt care about children but god damn lmao
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Of @ghostreblogging, Where Danny has the same tax evasion skills as his parents. Kind of a coffee shop AU, but well, its gotham.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#I cant write anything remotely serious to save my life#so here#Batman doesnt meddle with JLD entirely bc he doesnt fucking want to. also he might be a little banned.#this is why they have a wholeass dept. the issue may be in Gotham but the JLD also have individual members for this#aka it'll most likely be patched to Dick and Raven for both geographical location and the issue in question.#...who might call Tim. which will probably circle back to Bruce again because its more abt internal economy. Danny might need a lawyer#but for now he'll delegate it to supernatural-adjecent contacts. thanks#mistart#dc fanart
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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Star Wars was and has always been meant to be hopepunk and good vs evil at its base, not grimdark and 'morally grey' and 'subversive', and this is a hill i will die on
#star wars#pro jedi#because the jedi are the ideal#they are the ones that we are meant to look at and want to emulate#not realistic i know but there are individuals that do live up to that#the idea of leaving the world a little better#doing the best you can with what you've been presented with#that's what its all about#fighting for those that can't#(its so sikhi coded of them and what i wish i could be)#my star wars meta#i love! the jedi order!#i love! the rebel alliance!#i love! the resistance!#personal#series talk: star wars#series talk
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when the beat drops or whatever tf you call it in classical music in Danse Macabre Op.04 Camille Saint-Saëns (1875)
#its literally been my no.1 spotify song of All Time for three fucking years#not of individual years just of All Time in that little spotify ranking page you can look at#mine#you know my head is fucked when i looked up when it was composed and saw the date and though 'damn it's so young' girl no tf it is not#it's over 100 years old. which i. guess is young for such an iconic classical piece but come on
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posted this forever ago as part of a bigger compilation BUT i think it deserves to stand on its own. i was gonna add more color BUT that didnt happen; thus it doesnt translate aswell that hes freezing the water around him. BUT now you aware and you can see it. you can see it
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#OLD AS FFFUUUUCCKK BUT THIS WAS ONE O THE FIRST ANIMATIONS I MADE BACK WHEN I WAS REAAAALLY GETTIN BACK INTO THE GROOVE#OHHH THE HHAAAIR THE POSINGE THE WEIGHT THE PERSPECTIVE AND THE FLOW AND YEEEESSS IM STILL SO PROUD#SURE THERES MISTAKES. SO MANY MISTAKES. BUT IT STILL MOVES AND ITS STILL SO COOL. YIPPEEE!!#i think im gonna gradually post the other animations i made forever ago individually#they were all clumped together! and i simply do not like some of them as much as others. those are my special children whom i love more#the others shall be fed to wolves.
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it can't be too hard right?
it's easy not to think about things, he tells me i don't think all the time! wait...
—
a scene from a fic that i have no clue if ill finish, let alone post, but look i made fanart of my own thing that doesnt even exist :D
#I DID IT! took longer than i was planning for it to take but shorter than most art#WHICH IS A WIN MY BOOK!!#anyways this is in reference to a scene right after laios calls chilchuck 'chil' for the first time#and he responds to it with no hesitation :]#id say more but i do actually want to challenge myself to write this thing#ahhh i loved working on this. did you know how happy i was. i got to make laios pine AND draw chilchuk 50 times its a win#anyways. laios pining content..... please.... maybe even... jealous laios content.....#chilaios#uhhhm hm. should i tag them individually. sure im proud enough of this#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#i wrote his last name as times again damnit#laios#laios touden#aaaand thats it#ENJOY YOUR FOOD#EAT UP CHILAIOS NATION#also. i linked a youtube video from a third party cause i couldnt find any official spotify links so just deal with that
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Are you an AraSol enthusiast. If you’re a Sollux fan you must be it’s impossible to enjoy him without also enjoying araSol. It comes with the xbox
HELL YEHA OFC I LOVE THEM
theyre so endgame 4 me
i also think they are the coolest characters in homestuck. nobody else on their level
#ask#anon#homestuck#aradia megido#sollux captor#arasol#arapostings#2024#vioart#ICB I GOT AN ARASOL ASK UAAAAAAAA#wnt2 megadump my arasol essay so bad... but its so sentimental ughhhhhhhhh embarrassing#they make me spin like crazyyy theyre literally so fun so amazing both individually and together#ik hs has a lot of themes around what makes someone "cool” and whatnot but.#these 2 hv clocked it. embodied it. way before everyone else
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As promised — all freebies are now available as one big download, including backgrounds and assets!
Daggers, stars, blood, textures, and everything else. I counted everything while sorting, and there are 231 brushes for Clip Studio, and a few more for Photoshop, Procreate, and Krita. Yippee!
Thanks for your support! 🥰
#patreon stuff#its a big ass file so I do recommend using the library if you want individual things lol#my art#freebies#etc etc hello world
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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day 260 Swampert
buy stickers, commission a pokemon, or support me on kofi!
#swampert#pokemon#pkmnart#pokemon fanart#pokemon art#pokemonart#i'll post the compilation post for the prev generation and sticker (pre)orders soon! im just busy this week 🙇♂️#(would people want me to put up sticker preorders for stuff i haven't posted yet here--i've been working on some evo lines together#even if its not part of the current gen)#also my queue does run out monday so i might take another break starting then to focus working on some other things#also sorry for not responding to individual asks but unless they're inquiries related to comms i like hoarding them (thank you everyone 🥺!)
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into the hobie-verse! (inspired by all the hobie concept art)
prints
#at the end of the day i think they made the right choice going with the design they did#but that doesnt mean i can't still brainrot over all the potential hobie variations#tall!hobie with those headphones might be my favourite like i think if i saw him in theaters i mightve had a heart attack#its so cool how christie tseng managed to indicate so many subtly individual personalities with each design and i tried to carry that over#like how hobie (foreground right side) is sorta moodier#and how hobie (white hair and white pants) is a bit more boisterous compared to the others and their laid back attitudes#i might be reading too much into this#hobie brown#spiderman#spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#spider punk#stillindigo art
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Fuck it, two hedgehogs.
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#art#sonadow#I GUESS YEAH?#if this feels off its because sonic had a different expression before#but i took 80% of the time on this struggling with sonic#shadow tho? i got him down immediately. wild. anyways.#i like the individuals so
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"Maybe white men wouldn't have overwhelmingly voted for Trump if it wasn't for feminists telling them they're bad all the time!!1!!" Weird how everything men do ends up being women's fault somehow
#men sold women's rights to our own bodies for cheaper gas prices. i could not give less of a shit about their takes on feminism#that one post going around about how misogyny has increased tremendously over the past few years#with all the replies like 'well women tell cishet white men that patriarchy and racism are bad and that hurts their feelings--#--so its understandable they become violently misogynistic and the solution is for you to be nicer to men!!!'#ohhhh my god quit your entitlement for one fucking second. trumps laws are killing women in droves#us politics#(also i feel the need to add that i am fully supportive of lgbt+ and gender non conforming individuals)
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Science-themed Mermay Day 2: Cetacean
Blue Whale + Vaquita
#mermay#mermay 2024#mermaid#i picked the largest and smallest cetacean#not so fun fact: the vaquita is on the brink of extinction due to fisheries bycatch and pollution#its estimated that there are only ten individuals left in the entire world
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