#arthur knows what Merlin does for work and he’s just lying

[larluce]

Part 2 of my angst Merthur AU where Merlin has the short-term memory of the girl of 50 First dates. For more context read part 1 HERE

Credits to @mine087 and @warypumpkin whose comments/ideas left on the first part I used for this part.

Most days Arthur can fool Merlin. By the time he lifted the ban on magic, he had well-crafted routine. Merlin would wake up asking for Gaius and the druids, who now worked as physicians in the castle, would tell him Gaius went to the suburbs to treat an illness and would be back tomorrow. And when a very upset and confused Merlin claimed Gaius had been kidnapped, they would tell Merlin he must have really hit his head hard because Agravaine's conspiracy with Morgana to kidnap Gaius happened months ago. Then Merlin would get out of his room and discover a Camelot that welcomed magic again and that would distract him enough. Then, in a stroll around the citadel, Arthur would relate him what supossedly happened in the battle where they saved Gaius and finally defeated Morgana.

Merlin: (nervous) So you know? About my... (not able to say it)

Arthur: (casually) Your magic? Yes. You used it to save me and I catched you for once. (sighs) I didn't react well.

Merlin: (laughs a bit) I bet. But I guess you came around. You lifted the ban! It’s exactly how I imagined it! Thank you! You don't know how happy this makes me.

Arthur: (murmurs, with a sweetbitter feeling) You say that every time...

Merlin: What?

Arthur: I said you said that the first time too.

Merlin: (frustrated) I wish I could remember. How Camelot became what it is now.

Arthur: (forces a smile) You heard the druids. It's just a temporary amnesia. You'll remember by tomorrow.

But there were also the bad days. Where Merlin cannot be convinced that easily and finds out the truth by his own means. He would scream and shout in dispare and rage, Arthur always being the reciever of it. Yelling at him for lying to him, for making his life a set up, blaming him for Gaius' dead, his condition, everything. And then...

Merlin: (hurtful) I killed your father!

Arthur: (sighs, swallowing the pain of going through this again) I know. You were Dragoon. You told me that before.

Merlin: And I freed the Great Dragon! I poisoned Morgana!

Arthur: (yells) I KNOW! (Tears well up in his eyes) I know everything. You want me to hate you, to get me to execute you or stop caring for you and it won't work!

Merlin: This was my plan all along. Pose as your friend, manipulate you so you would lift the ban-

Arthur: Stop.

Merlin: (yells furious) And take away everyone you love just as you did with me!

Arthur: (his voice breaks) We are even then.

Merlin: (screams and his magic gets lose, breaking the windows and causing an earthquake)

Arthur: (doesn't even flinch, he's just sad)

Merlin: (drops to the floor and breaks down crying)

Arthur: (hugs him, rubbing his back) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Merlin: I lied about your mother. She was real.

Arthur: (his hand stops rubbing Merlin's back, frozen and eyes wide)

Merlin: (gives a dry chuckle) I guess that one was new.

Arthur: (cries silently, but doesn't let go of Merlin)

One particular night-over year since the accident-someone does something different when Merlin has one of his "bad days".

Gwen: (enters Merlin's room) You are being unfair.

Merlin: (in disbelieve) I'm unfair? I'm the one whose whole life is a fucking theater play!

Gwen: I'm not saying that what Arthur does is okay. Gwaine and I tried to talk him out of it multiple times. But at least he's not doing this to intentionally hurt you. On the contrary, he wants to spare you the pain. While the only thing you do is guilt him and then say hurtful things to him everytime you find out.

Merlin: (resentful) Oh, poor, poor Arthur who doesn't want to deal with the consecuences of his actions!

Gwen: He's been dealing with the consecuences of his actions for over a year!

Merlin: (stunned)... It's been a year?

Gwen: (nods, sadly) I know for you Gaius' dead is recent and it's hard to see beyond your own grieve. But Arthur's been grieving too. He lost his last remaining family in that rockfall... and also a friend.

Merlin: ...

Gwen: (sighs and spots Merlin's parchment, the one Merlin wrote for himself and hided in his magic book and has random entries from the days Merlin found out the truth) Hide that well or they will take it when they search. (leaves)

After a moment of quiet reflection in his room, Merlin resolves to seek out Arthur. But when he arrives, Arthur’s chambers are empty. Deciding to wait, Merlin glances around, curious if anything has changed in the past year. Yet Arthur was careful enough to keep it as how it was a year ago.

Then, something catches his eye—a book on Arthur’s desk, unfamiliar and out of place. Merlin picks it up, flips it open, and recognizes Arthur’s handwriting.

Another dawn. Another day of lies.

Today Merlin moved through the day as if nothing were wrong. He approached me smiling again, asking if Gaius had returned from his trip yet. I told him no, not yet. Not until tomorrow.

I never thought I could despise a word as much as I hate "Tomorrow."

A shudder runs through Merlin. How many times has Arthur said it? How many times has he promised a tomorrow that would never come?

He nodded and joked about Gaius’s terrible sense of time. I laughed. It tasted like ash.

He teased me, rolled his eyes at council meetings, even scolded me for not wearing a thicker cloak in the cold. For a few hours, I could pretend. Pretend that Gaius was just away. Pretend that Merlin was still himself. Pretend that I hadn’t failed them both so utterly.

Pretend Merlin doesn’t loathe me.

Merlin turns the page, his fingers brushing over the smudged ink—tears, perhaps, or the shaky hand of a man pushed to his limits.

Gods, this is worse than battle. Worse than betrayal. Every morning, I resurrect a dead man for him. Every night, I bury Gaius anew.

And another page.

Is this how Morgana felt?

She, too, lived in a world of half-truths, of secrets festering until they poisoned her. I failed to see her pain until it curdled into hatred. Now I watch Merlin’s face fracture every time he dicovers the truth.

Perhaps this is my penance. For Morgana. For Merlin. For not listening to them when it matter.

And another page.

Merlin, I was a fool. You warned me time and again and I dismissed you. I called you an idiot, a coward, when all along, you were the wisest of us all. How many times did you save me, only for me to repay you with scorn? I thought I was being a king—strong, unshaken—but I was only proud. And now, when I think of the secrets you must have carried alone, the burdens you bore in silence… I should have listened. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry.

The journal trembles in his grip. Arthur’s pain is raw, unfiltered. Not the king, not the warrior. Just a man drowning in regret. For Morgana. For Gaius. For him. For everything.

I'm ruined.

Merlin looks at me, and I want to live in that gaze forever. He touches my arm to steady me, and my skin burns. He speaks, and I hang on every word like a drowning man gasping for air.

Gods help me, I love him.

And it is the cruelest twist of fate that he will never know.

How could he? When every morning, he wakes up not remembering the day before? When every night, I am forced to lie to him again? When the truth of my feelings would only burden him further.

I could tell him. Just once, just to see how it feels to say it aloud. But what then? Tomorrow, he would wake up, and it would be gone. And I would be left with the hollow echo of a confession he cannot keep.

No. This is my penance, too. To love him silently. To carry this alone.

So I will love him in silence. And I will let him go every day. And that will have to be enough.

The journal slips from Merlin’s fingers, landing on Arthur’s desk. The weight of Arthur’s words pressed against his chest, the last confession carving deeper into his heart.

A year. An entire year of Arthur carrying this alone. A year of Arthur waking each morning to carve open his own wounds, just to spare Merlin the pain of knowing. The grieve.

And what has he done? Screamed. Blamed. Twisted the knife deeper every chance he got. Responded Arthur's relentless love with nothing but anger in return.

The door creaks open. And Merlin doesn't need to turn to know who it is.

Arthur: (face pale in panic, but eyes and voice exhausted) You weren’t supposed to see that.

Merlin: (turns, eyes with unshed tears) Gwen said it's been over a year since... (not able to say it)

Arthur: Since the rock fall, yes. One year and two months to be exact.

Merlin: And you lied to me. (the first tears fall) Every single day.

Arthur: ... Yes (braces himself, as if expecting a blow, and explosion)

Merlin: Why?

Arthur: (confused, not used to Merlin not exploding) Why what?

Merlin: Why do you do it? The lies, the pretending. Isn't keeping up this charade tiring? Futile? Boring even.

Arthur: ...

Merlin: Be honest with me for once, please.

Arthur: (thinking) Because I love you. (says, smiling sadly) Because for a few hours, you get to be happy. (his voice cracks) And I get to pretend I didn’t take everything from you.

Merlin: It wasn't your fault.

Arthur: (Stunned) What?

Merlin: It wasn't your fault. Gwen is right I've been unfair. I was just mad and hurt and I took it out on you. I'm sorry.

Arthur: (tears well up in his eyes) You don't have to say that just because you feel sorry for me.

Merlin: No! (approaches and takes Arthur by the shoulders, desperate) Arthur, I need you to believe me because tomorrow I'll forget and I won't know everything you've done and how cruel I've been. (cries) I won't remember that you love me.

Arthur: (open his eyes wide, terrafied, tries to deny it) Merlin-

Merlin: I love you too! That's why it hurt so much when you trusted Agravaine over me. But of course you would. He was your family. You would never blame me for trusting my mother over you.

Arthur: It's not the same. You've known Hunith your whole life.

Merlin: Alright, then my father. If my father had appeared out of nowhere, trying to bond with me, would you blame me for trusting him over you?

Arthur: (a flash of pain in his eyes) You did meet him. For a day.

Merlin: (surprised) I told you about my father? (a realisation) Tell me it was during a good day.

Arthur: ...

Merlin: (brings his hand to his face) Gods, I hate myself so much.

Arthur: You were grieving.

Merlin: You were grieving too! And don't change the subject. I just told you I love you!

Arthur: ...

Merlin: (hands holding Arthur's face) Say something.

Arthur: (exhaled, ragged) What's the point? (voice breaking) Tomorrow, you won't remember this. You’ll wake up and I'll have to lie to you all over again. And you’ll hate me for it.

Merlin: Then don't let me forget.

Arthur: (confused) What?

Merlin: (releases him, turns to the desk, grabs a sheet of parchment and Arthur's quill and says as he writes) I write to myself. On the bad days. Notes about the truth. Hiding them does no good if I don’t look for them. (thrust the parchment at Arthur) Read it to me. Tomorrow. And every day after.

Arthur: (takes the note)

The note reads: Arthur loves you. You love him. Gaius is gone. It’s not your fault. It's not his either. Stop hurting him.

Arthur: (doubtful) You think it'll work?

Merlin: I don’t know. But it's better than... this. (gestures between them, referring to the distance, the lies, their broken bond)

Arthur: (still doubtful)

Merlin: (pleads) Please, it's just one day. If it doesn't work, you can go back to your charade.

Arthur: (incredulous) Are you actually allowing it?

Merlin: I know it hasn't seem like it, but I don't like hurting you. If I didn't have this condition I would cool off and apologise by the next day of my outburst. Had I known I've been doing this for so long... (holds back the tears) But if the only way to stop myself from hurting you is staying ignorant of what happened then I'll allow it.

Arthur: You're the one who's been hurting me? (A disbelieving laugh) Merlin, I've been hurting you every day!

Merlin: We've been hurting each other, alright. (holds Arthur's hand) I don't want us to hurt anymore.

Arthur: (shaky breath) Merlin...

Merlin: Can we talk? Properly talk? We still have a few hours.

Arthur: (nods)

And they talk. The good and the bad about the thing they've done before and after the accident. Somehow they end up lying in bed, side by side.

Merlin: (curled against him) I love you.

Arthur: (so happy and so sad at the same time) I love you too. More than I can explain.

Merlin: Will you tell me you love me? Even if I don’t remember? Even if I yell?

Arthur: (promises) I will.

Merlin: Kiss me.

Arthur: (taken aback, unsure) I don't think it's right to-

Merlin: I don't care if it's right or not. (lifts his head, eyes pleading) If this is the only day I remember, then let it mean something. Please.

Arthur: (kisses him)

Shortly after, Merlin falls asleep in Arthur's arms.

That's all I got for now (again)

Tagging @andrealux21 , @keitorin3 , @keepsecretsjusttokeepu , @escespace , @sugar-coated-prat-dragon , @herstarlight

[merlinmylove]

Guilty or not

As everyone should know, the combination of Gwaine, boredom, and alcohol, does not bode well. Especially for a certain manservant who hasn’t had a drink in over two years.

A short patrol around the eastern borders of Camelot had quickly become an impromptu hunting trip: jovial and relaxed.

The knights of Camelot, their King, and his servant were all sitting around a large bonfire, drinking and having fun. Well, the knights were having fun; Merlin had spent most of his evening preparing, cooking, and cleaning, but finally, come nightfall, he was able to sit down and enjoy a warm cider with the rest of the men.

It was his first drink in many, many years, and he thoroughly enjoyed it. He sipped it gently as it warmed his hands.

After some time, Gwaine grew bored, and suggested they all play a game of “Guilty or Not.” Upon the confused looks, he explained the tavern game.

“We each take a turn making a statement, and if it applies to you, or you are guilty of doing this, you must take a drink.” He took a small sip of his ale as an example.

Merlin laughed with the others. It sounded like harmless fun.

“Eventually, we will all be so drunk we end up revealing all our darkest secrets.” He shot a wicked grin to the group, who chuckled at him. As he was the one to suggest the game, Gwaine volunteered to go first.

“I am guilty of having more than two maidens in my bed at once.” He grinned and took a dramatic sip. Elyan smirked as he took a drink. Everyone hollered and laughed. “Alright, because you drank, it’s your turn now, Sir Elyan.”

“I’m guilty of…stealing from the palace kitchens.”

Everyone drank at this, including Arthur, and the laughter continued. “Who now, we all drank?” Someone asked, and Gwaine pointed. “Elyan gets to pick who asks the next question.”

Merlin watched as Gwen's brother pondered for a moment before he pointed at Leon, who was sitting next to Gwen's husband.

“I pick Leon.” The knight smiled at his commander. Sir Leon, who sat opposite Merlin, looked deep in thought. “Alright, alright. I’m guilty of…” He paused and smirked, “— lying to the King.”

Once again, everyone drank, and Arthur laughed loudly. He slapped his hand on his thigh in mock surprise. Merlin nearly fell off their shared log from the movement.

“What? All of you! For shame, I’ll have to throw my own knights in the stocks. Fine, fine. I get to choose, then. Merlin, you’re next.” Arthur cocked his jaw out and eyes Merlin in a combative way.

“Please, he’s got nothing exciting to add. Let’s see, he’s guilty of falling asleep standing up.” Sir Kay laughed, and while Gwaine smiled a little, it wasn’t entirely genuine.

“Or guilty of tripping over his own feet into cow dung!” Arthur added, laughing. The young servant sat beside him, nursing a small cup of cider. He’d only drunk twice so far. He smiled and pretended to think.

Fine, if this is how the Prat wants to play it.

“Hmm…” Merlin hummed. He looked up at the clouds above the trees as he spoke perfectly clearly. “I’m guilty of receiving the favour of a Princess.”

No one drank. Not even Arthur. Merlin, however, took a big sip of his cider. Feinting innocence, he asked, “What? Have none of you revived such a gift?”

“What?!” Arthur exclaimed as he grabbed Merlin’s shoulder. “Who in their right mind would give you a favour?” Had Merlin not known his king so well as he did, he would’ve assumed the outrage was real and not just a way to cover up his surprised shock.

“You sound awfully jealous there, princess.” Gwaine teased. Neither Merlin nor Arthur deigned to respond.

“Mithian — yes, she asked me to call her by her maiden name — gave me a silk embroidered neckerchief as a token of our friendship. She called me handsome and said should I ever wish to work as a court physician, I would be welcome in her Kingdom.” Merlin smirked at his King.

Silence befell the camp. The knights sat with mouths wide open, staring at him. Merlin smiled innocently. He reached down into a bowl and popped a grape in his mouth. He chewed loudly in defiance.

“Since no one drank, I suppose I should ask another question.” He tapped his chin in false ponder. Beside him, Arthur scoffed because, of course, he did. Merlin decided on his next question.

“I am guilty of throwing hard steel objects at innocent servants when they’re two minutes late with breakfast.” He looked pointedly at Arthur, who had to take a small sip. The mood around the campfire soured a little.

“Alright, fine. It won't happen again. Next question; I am guilty of spending all my free time at the tavern.” Arthur tried to get back at Merlin, making him drink, but only Gwaine and Kay drank. The King rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Merlin. We know that’s where you spend your free time — and your working hours too!” Arthur cajoled, but Gwaine coughed. They both look over at the knight. “I’ve never seen him there, Princess. Never.”

Now, everyone looked at Merlin. Raised eyebrows and confused smiles stare back at him. Merlin shrugged at them.“You do know I have another job, right?” Arthur nodded uncomfortably.

“I’m a physician; I heal your citizens. I make and deliver medicines, and I forage for herbs and ingredients in the woods at night when I have time.” Merlin ate another grape, and the knights hummed in understanding. They’d all seen him return in the early mornings, covered in moss and river water, bags filled with plants and.

“Or maybe I’m simply visiting a friend; my free time is my own time, sire. It’s not for you to judge.” Merlin poked a knobbly finger into Arthur’s rib. The King huffed a little in defeat and smiled.

Leon, however, looked a little unsure. “But then why does Gaius always say that you’re at the tavern?”

As Merlin answered his question, he directed his head at Arthur, because really it was for him to hear.

“To be fair, he’s only said that, like, twice. And both times, I was out...snooping.” Arthur laughed at this, as did many others. Merlin’s eyes softened at his king as he continued.

“As a servant I am often overlooked, and so I hear and see things others don’t. I spend some of my time spying on people who wish our King ill. I find the proof and hand it over to the guards because who would trust the word of a servant? Occasionally, I handle the situation myself. But any other time you’ve not found me, you've just come to your own conclusions, and even when I tried to correct you, you didn’t believe me…so.”

Merlin ended it all with: “I’ve only set foot in a tavern twice — and always with you.”

“And once with me!” Gwaine shouted and held up his cup in a mock salute. He was clearly wanting to smooth over the conversation and get back to the fun.

Merlin saluted with his cup, too, allowing his friend to steer the conversation. “Alright, enough serious talk. Let’s get deeper! I am guilty of being banished!” Gwaine drank at his own question and laughed as Lancelot drank too.

They decided it was Sir Lancelot's time to ask the question. “Oh, it’s me then? Hmm, I am guilty of passing the knight's test on the first try.” He drank, as did Leon and Kay.

“That’s not fair, we never had a test!” Elyan interrupted, but Arthur held out his hand. “You helped me retake Camelot after Morgana invaded. I’d say that’s a pretty good test of strength. In my eyes, you’ve all passed the test on the first try.”

Gods, his king was incredible. Even now, surrounded by the dark trees and the moonlight shining down, his golden hair glowed like a crown adorned his head. He sat tall and confident on a log, legs stretched out before him, warming his feet by the fire.

Merlin hated how beautiful he looked, even while disheveled and tired.

“In that case, Merlin also passed the test.” Lancelot pointed out and threw him a bread roll. “You go next.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say next, or what he could possibly confess too, without revealing his magic. Most of his life has been, and must still, remain a secret. But he could possibly bend the truth a little. Besides, this was meant to be a fun game.

“I am guilty of sharing a bed with someone here.” He took a sip and then another. Both for Gwaine and for Lancelot.

Percy and Gwaine drank too, and Lancelot giggled a little as he took a small sip of his drink. “Don’t suppose you mean that in a friendly way, Merls.”

He winked. Nope, he definitely did not. Once again, laughter and voices echoed through the trees, as each knight tried to pry out of the others whom they might have shared a bed with.

The evening continued in a happy fashion, each man making more ridiculous and fantastical statements and more and more alcohol being drunk. Their happiness was infectious, and soon he felt himself relax and bask in the happiness.

He drank once, and then twice, and then again, and again, and again until he lost count of how much cider he’d drunk.

Merlin, who rarely partook in these activities, was beginning to feel the effects of the copious amounts of alcohol he’d drunk. His legs were heavy, his ears ringing a little, and his blood rushing through his body with excitement.

He was a giddy and giggly mess.

The moon was shining bright. The birds were asleep on the branches above their heads. The grass was lovely and dewy to the touch. His hands were kept warm by the hot cider in his cup, his feet too were warmed by the fire, and his King sat next to him, their thighs touching.

Merlin hadn’t had such a lovely evening in the longest time.

“Now you again, Merls.” He heard Percival tell as he wiped a tear from his eyes. Sir Kay had told a particularly funny story involving a donkey, a tavern wench, and a missing apple pie.

Merlin, who was already drunk and trembling with excitement, stumbled up to his own two feet. This would be fun, he thought. Everyone thinks him an idiot, but this will show them he can be just as brave as a knight.

“I am guilty of surviving a serket sting!”

He took a big swig of his cider and sat down again. He laughed at their shocked faces. Of course, they didn’t believe him.

“I’ve got the scar to prove it,” Merlin said, and he lifted up his shirt to show the left side of his torso, where the scar was still etched into his skin. Around the campfire, murmuring and gasped voices echoed.

“Merlin!” Arthur yelled, pulling him closer as if he was currently in any danger. As knights, they had all seen wounds and scars like that before, but only ever on dead men.

“How did you survive it?” Percy wondered out loud. Merlin smiled at his friends' worried eyes. He was so happy he had them in his life.

“Dragoon found me,” Merlin explained as best he could. Of course, it had been his dragon coming to his rescue, but he couldn’t say that. So a tiny little lie was all the answer he could give. “He saved my life using magic, which is why I could never tell anyone.”

Leon gulped, and Arthur winced in embarrassment. Any whisper of magic would’ve been a danger to Merlin, and they both knew it. Even if he was just the recipient of it.

“How did it even happen?” Arthur kept his hand on Merlin’s side, warm fingers tracing the scar. Merlin’s skin shivered at the touch.

“Remember when I told you that I snooped around?” Arthur nodded.

“It was after Morgana had returned to Camelot. I suspected she was secretly working with Morgause to overthrow you and Uther. She was, of course, but I couldn’t tell anyone. So instead I spied on her, and kept foiling her plans whenever I could.” Merlin chuckled at the memories, failing to notice the horrified looks on the knights' faces.

He went on to explain how Morgana had discovered him in the woods that night and left him to die in a serkets nest. He could see the heartbreak in Arthur’s eyes, but as usual, his king hid it well from the others.

If Merlin was a braver man, he’d kiss him happy again.

“They say the pain is…unimaginable.” Elyans soft spoken voice drew Merlin away from staring at Arthur's eyes. Elyan sighed as he spoke, as if he didn’t even want to hear Merlin’s reply.

“Oh, it was more painful than anything you will ever experience on the battlefield. Death by a thousand cuts would be more merciful.” Arthur’s hand gripped at his torso and pulled him in even closer. Merlin revelled in it.

“How are you so…nonchalant about this?” Sir Kay seemed baffled at Merlin’s comments. Perhaps to a younger knight, it was difficult to understand the plights of servants and how impossible it was to keep a certain royal prat alive.

“Oh, it’s like I always say: try your best to hide your sadness!” Merlin winked at him, which earned him another strange look.

Hmm. This simply wouldn’t do. He was having such a lovely evening, and Merlin refused to let the good times pass.

“Now, don’t look so down! I lived, and I spent the whole next day cleaning his highness’s royal socks!” He jabbed, but no one laughed.

He’d have to find another, perhaps funnier or more surprising, sin to confess... “Ugh, you guys are no fun! Next one, I am guilty of grave robbing!” Merlin declared happily.

Multiple eyes were fixed on him as Merlin took another sip. No one drank. Hmm.

“Another one then, alright. I am guilty of breaking into the royal treasury.” He boasted as he took another big gulp of cider. No one spoke or drank. Something had to change, surely they had more things in common.

The warm apple cider filled him with courage, and Merlin knew exactly what he would say. No one would ever have guessed this!

“I am guilty of attempted regicide!” Merlin yelled happily. He took a hefty swig of his drink, smiling sappily at Arthur. There, that ought to get the conversation going again.

No one noticed Gwaine taking a drink.

“You’re supposed to drink, Arthur.” He said, handling his arm as he tried to lift the cup to his mouth. The king stopped him.

“Merlin,” Lancelot tried to interject, protective as always, but the damage was done. He sat down again as Leon looked over.

“Me or my father?” Arthur questioned with sadness in his eyes. He looked like he couldn’t possibly believe what Merlin had said, yet he needed to know the answer.

Merlin shrugged, still feeling warm and pleasant from the cider. “You. I never actually harmed Uther, even though I wanted to. And believe me, I wanted to.” He grumbled.

“But don’t worry, Arthur; It was Morgana who had enchanted me into killing you. I didn’t do it on purpose. Thankfully, Gwen noticed my behaviour and stopped me. Lance also helped break the curse.”

Merlin rambled and waved at Lancelot. “Your wife is so smart and so kind, even though she hit me over the head with a bucket.” His two best friends had worked tirelessly for days to end the curse before Merlin ended Arthur’s life. He loved them both so much.

“You were cursed to kill me?” Arthur grabbed his hand and drew Merlin out of his happiness. He nodded dumbly.

“Morgana kidnapped me and stuck this ugly snake thing in my neck. It took over my mind and body completely, I barely remember waking up. Guess we should all be thankful I am a terrible assassin.” He giggled and sipped a little more cider.

“Leon was in on it, too! He gave me weapons, and my only real plan failed because you turned around at the right second. Otherwise, the arrow from Leon’s crossbow would’ve killed you instantly.”

The senior knight gasped in realisation, “You told me you needed a crossbow to kill the king! I never thought you were being earnest, though. I just assumed you were annoyed with Arthur, as usual.” Leon looked at Arthur in apology, but his fellow knight grabbed his hand.

As Lancelot held his hand, he grimaced. “He also poisoned your bath water, sire, and rather spectacularly if I may say so. It was bubbling and oozing green, I’ve no idea how Merlin thought anyone would get in there willingly. It melted away the steel, and we had to replace the tub.” Lancelot tried so hard to turn the conversation pleasant again, by making a joke, but no one laughed.

A pity, Merlin thought. The memory of it was rather funny.

Merlin smiled at Arthur again. “Don’t worry, sire. I would never actually harm you. Gaius believed my subconscious was working against the cursed snake, deliberately trying to fail my attempts. Even while cursed and unconscious, I would never wish you harm.”

Now happy that he had assuaged Arthur’s worries, he continued on his course. “But it wasn’t just you. I also considered killing Bayard once after the poisoned goblet, you know. Remind me never to drink poison for you again; it was awful.”

“And I tried twice to kill Cendred and Alined for harming you and Camelot. They both wanted to start a war, but I didn’t let them.”

He pursed his lips in deep thought. “Does it count as regicide if I tried to kill a Duke? Because Lord Abarnathy had it coming.”

“How did you…what?” Percy asked gently about the admitted treason, and Merlin was very happy to explain.

“The old duke was far too handsy with the young maids, so I doused his regular sleeping draughts with a tincture of poppy flowers, which is said to have a rather…relaxing effect. Safe to say, he’s never gonna get it up again.” Merlin giggled into his cup, the cider warming his lips.

“You made the master of coin impotent?”

“Yup!”

“Any other important people you’ve killed or seriously injured?” Leon choked, and Merlin replied simply.

“A High priestess or two.” Arthur’s grip on his thigh tightened, and Merlin delighted in it. It wasn’t just the alcohol keeping him warm.

“I killed Nimueh after she released the questing beast so that you could live. A life for a life.” His king looked at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open. Merlin was happy to see that his king was happy about this. He was rather proud of that decision.

See, he thought, as the knights seemed perplexed. He could be brave and dangerous, too. Merlin added at last;

“And though it was technically Morgana who delivered the final blow to Morgause, I was the one who cracked her skull open.” Merlin smiled happily.

“Merlin, mate, let’s get you some water. Right, come here.” Gwaine, ever ridiculous but kind, tried to get him away from the fun with promises of fresh water.

Water.

“Speaking of water, my dead lover lives in a lake.” He said as Gwaine handed him a waterskin. It was refreshingly cold. He drank half of it. For a second, he wondered if Freya ever drank the water she lived in, but as she was dead, he assumed she didn’t.

Gwaine sputtered above him, and Arthur withdrew his hand that had been holding onto his thigh for so long. He missed the touch already. “I haven’t seen her in a while. I’ve been far too busy looking after a certain king.” Merlin reassured the man, hoping he wouldn’t be too upset.

The hand didn’t return, and Merlin felt himself grow colder. Why did Arthur stop holding his thigh? It was so nice.

“Your lover?” Someone asked, Merlin couldn’t make out who. He downed the rest of his water. “Well, we only knew each other for two days before she died in my arms, but I buried her in the lake, and I still see her from time to time. She’s very nice.”

“You’re drunk outta your mind, aren’t you? None of this is true. I don’t believe you.” Kay muttered to himself.

“When was the last time you had a drink, Merlin?” Gwaine asked as he handed Merlin another waterskin.

“D’you remember when we fought those pheasants? In the perilous lands? Yeah, I found you in a tavern!” Merlin beamed.

“What on earth were you two doing in the perilous lands?” Elyan exclaimed.

“Looking for a fisherman’s trident, or hook, or something. We had to save Arthurs ass like always; he wore this cursed bracelet from Morgana, and he was about to die, but in the end we saved him!” He clapped Gwaine's chest as if they had just won a round of dice.

“He joined you on your quest?” Leon whispered incredulously.

“The bracelet was cursed?” His king mumbled as he kept his gaze down.

“Yup, she wanted you to die alone and afraid. Horrible, horrible person. She’s done so many awful things that you don’t know about because I couldn’t tell you.” Merlin said and clicked his fingers to explain. “Like when she framed Gwen as a sorceress so she would burn at the stake.”

“What?!” Several people burst out.

“The love enchantment, it wasn’t real, of course, but you knew that. Morgana planted it so Gwen would die. Lucky for all of us, I found a sorcerer willing to take the blame and escape, otherwise, she would be dead now.” He sombered.

Arthur, Elyan, and Lancelot all looked at each other, horrified. “She wanted to kill Guinevere?”

“Hmm, she feared she would be the queen of Camelot, and Morgana detested the idea of a servant,” Merlin spat, “sitting on her throne.” Although her plan did work in a roundabout way, Gwen had, out of fear for her life, decided to stay with Lancelot.

“So you found Dragoon, and what? Asked him to take the blame and burn at the stake? Who in their right mind would do that?!” Arthur reacted. At least he was looking at Merlin now. Good, he had missed his pretty eyes.

“Someone who didn’t want to see you heartbroken. Anyways, we both knew he would escape, and it enraged Morgana. That was a fun day.” Merlin kicked his feet together.

Wait.

“Dragoons escape, that is, not Gwen's trial. That was horrible, and I still have nightmares about it. But seeing Morgana slowly getting angrier and angrier was fun.” He explained to Elyan, who hasn’t been present for any of this. He had unfortunately been the victim of Morgana himself, though.

Which reminded him;

“It was also she who kidnapped you and Gwen because she knew Arthur would come to your rescue. And because he would have to cross the border, it would incite a war. She was working with Morgause and Cendred to organise the whole thing.”

Gwaine tried to grab him and make him stand up, but Merlin didn’t feel like it. He had more to say.

“I think it’s my fault she turned evil, you know…because I tried to kill her. But I had no choice! Morgause had cursed the whole of Camelot to sleep, remember? When we tried to dress your father up as a servant woman? And the only way to end the curse was to kill Morgana.” Merlin spoke to his shoes, toeing his left foot under some wet moss.

She never forgave him for that. And maybe he would never forgive himself for it either. Oh well.

“Anyways, they’re both dead now,” Merlin mumbled into his waterskin, the cool water calming his too-hot skin. Gwaine still had a hand on his shoulder, steadying him. Such a wonderful friend, and handsome too.

“Thanks, mate. But let’s get you some food to soak up the cider, huh?” Gwaine replied as Merlin realised he’d said the last part out loud. He was handed a somewhat stale bread roll. Merlin munched on it.

“I think you should sleep now, Merls. Come, I’ll get your bedroll out.” Percival stood up and gestured for him to do so, too, but Merlin simply giggled.

“Taking me to bed, Sir Knight? You know, I had a dream like this once, only you were not wearing—”

“Someone make him shut up!” Arthur grumbled angrily, and Merlin winked at him. “Don’t worry, sire, I’ve dreamt about you too.”

Arthur grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer, clearly not done with the conversation. Merlin would have made an embarrassing noise had this not been in front of the others.

“All of this happened, and you never told me.” Arthur's voice was small. It hurt his heart to hear his great king speak like this. Arthur deserved all that’s good, not deception and lies.

“Well, how could I? She was your friend and equal, the King's ward…I was just a servant.” Merlin hummed in response. That part was true.

“You were never just a servant, though, at least not to me.” Arthur professed.

“Maybe not to you, but to anyone else I was. And still am. My word counts for nothing, so I tell no one.”

Sir Leon handed him another piece of bread. “What else have you done for Camelot but had to keep secret?”

Too much, was the answer. Too much to remember. Merlin tried to focus his thoughts, but his brain felt like scrambled eggs. After a few seconds, he could recall a couple of memorable stories at least.

“I killed Cornelius Segan when he attacked. I killed both of the undead armies, even though Morgana took the credit for the first one, despite it being her who summoned the skeletons.” Bitterness soaked his voice as he remembered how spiteful she had looked at him.

Thankfully, his second attempt had worked better.

“The second time, I killed them with Lancelot's help.” Merlin smiled at his friend, who smiled back. “He protected me as I went up against Morgause and emptied the cup of all the blood. Gods, there was so much blood! And it took days to scrub the floors clean, I still have blisters.”

Merlin thought further back.

“I stopped King Alined when he gave you a love potion so you would defile Lady Vivian, and her father would start a war in her honour. I couldn’t tell you because then you’d confront him, and he would demand a war against Camelot. After all, I was just a servant, and such an accusation would be a slight on his character.”

Arthur inhaled quickly as Merlin kept talking. “Keeping you out of the loop was safer for everyone.” He swallowed some dry bread and reached for his cup, but it had disappeared.

Huh?

“Anyways, Gwen broke the love potion, and you were saved! And you ended the fight in an honourable way like always.” Merlin was nothing if not besotted. And a little miffed that he never got a chance at kissing Arthur.

The King and Leon had opened their mouths in recollection and seemed to be processing the memories in a different light. Merlin ignored this and continued.

“When a sorcerer tried to kill your father in a tournament, I interrupted his fighting so he would lose.”

That had been a difficult week, and he missed Gilli very much. He would like Gwaine, Merlin realised. He’d have to write to him and hope he would come visit one day.

“Also, I stopped the Witchfinder and any other druid catchers who captured innocents for payment. Your father bought humans, Arthur — he bought people from them with no proof that they were sorcerers. You know Gaius was innocent, but the witchfinder's word was final. Others were innocent too…like Freya.”

He sighed and kicked his foot a little. A small pebble flicked across the camp. Merlin suddenly felt cold and tired; the cider had either worn off, or he was simply feeling the effect of the evening turning morose.

He looked down at his bread roll.

“I’ve thrown out so much food and drink because someone had poisoned it. That’s why I always eat off your plate, I am your poison tester. Gaius says I’m immune to a dozen poisons at this point.”

At least that was cool. He didn’t have much else going for him, but at least he could drink hemlock and survive long enough to make his own antidote.

“I have done so much work from the shadows, sire, I cannot recall it all,” Merlin whispered into the sky. The cider was no longer making his skin buzz but had instead become a thundering headache.

“You’re not really a manservant, are you?” Leon surmised. He phrased it like a question, but everyone could hear the truth in his statement.

“I was awarded the position as manservant to the prince for saving his life. All these years, I’ve done exactly that, yet no one has noticed.”

Arthur moved away from him. Merlin felt himself grow colder.

“I know none of you believed me when I spoke of it before, but I have always been Arthur’s protector. Call me spymaster if you wish, for all I do is look out for him. And sometimes Camelot, but always Arthur.”

“So you’re not really a fool then; that was also a lie.”

“No…just another part of my charm. I’ve always been clumsy, but playing it up helped cover up my spying. No one would believe me capable of snapping a man’s neck if I kept spilling wine all over myself at dinnertime.”

“Have you done that?” Gwaines sad eyes met his and Merlin nodded. Sure, he’d not done it with his hands but rather his magic…but as his magic was a part of him, so yes.

“Come here, Merlin. Let’s get you ready for bed.”

“No, no, I gotta get Arthur ready for bed, he gets prissy when I don’t tuck him in at night and then I gotta listen to his complaints in the morning, and then he will throw his breakfast at me and—”

Arthur stopped his rambling. “Shut up, Merlin.”

“You always say that, but we both know you don’t mean it. You like my voice and my rambling, even my nagging, you told me once that it brings you peace and that it calms you down when you’re—”

Arthur clapped his hand over Merlin’s mouth. Merlin licked it.

“Gross.” His king grimaced and pushed Merlin into Lancelot's arms. “Hopefully, he will sleep off this ridiculousness. We will talk tomorrow.”

“He always calls me ridiculous, but we both know he doesn’t mean it,” Merlin mumbled as he leaned on Lancelot. The older knight walked them over to the shaded corner of the campfire. They had splayed out some bedrolls for the first watch there, and Merlin was happy to see his next to Arthur’s.

Side by side. Next to each other in sleep but never in life.

“It’s not fair, y’know,” he mumbled into his friend's arm. “Gwens got both you and Arthur, and I’ve got none, she kissed him and I never did. And Will died and Freya died, and Gilli left and you married Gwen, and I’m all alone. I share a room with Gaius, ugh.” His mouth was stale and dry.

Lancelot pulled his boots off and removed his jacket. Merlin’s limp arms allowed him to do all the work.

He smacked his lips together. “And I’ve got no one; the only one who talks to me is ‘Garrah but he’s a rude old lizard, and he never laughs at my jokes, and he doesn’t like Arthur, so I don’t like him anymore, and my mother lives so far away, and—”

Lancelot helped him lay down into the roll, literally tucking him in. He’s so kind, the very picture of a knight. If Merlin had been born an artist he’d like to draw Lancelot with his red cape and glorious hair.

“And I’ve killed so many people, and I hear their screams in my nightmares, and I can hear the sound of druid children screaming for help when I’m out in the woods, but I ignore them because all my attention is on Arthur, and the guilt is eating me alive.”

Merlin closed his eyes and felt Lancelot stroke his hair, just like his mother used to do when he was sick.

It was a welcoming comfort in the cold forest. He felt the ground rise up and down underneath him like a ship on the waves, except he’d never been on a ship, he’s hardly ever left home before.

Maybe one day, he and Arthur could go on a boat trip. They’d fish and bask naked in the sunlight, pick seashells, and count the birds.

“But he has to do the rowing because my arms get tired easily, and I bet he’d look good covered in sweat and sea salt,” Merlin told himself as he tucked his chin into his arm.

In his sleep, he failed to notice the confused and horrified looks from all the knights.

- - - -

“So we all agree never to let Merlin drink again, yeah?” Gwaine told the group. The fire crackled throughout the camp. The men nodded as they kept their gaze on the sleeping servant. He had fallen asleep within seconds.

“Did any of you know?” Arthur accused his knights and frowned when Lancelot returned to his place. He nodded gently.

“I knew some of it, sire. But not all. Merlin keeps his cards close to his chest and rarely tells anyone unless he must. He prefers to act on his own.”

“He spoke as if you’ve helped him with his spycraft before,” Kay remarked, and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sure you’ve all heard that when I first became a knight, it was at the basis of a forged seal of nobility.” He saw the men nod in acknowledgment.

“Who do you think made that near-perfect seal?” Lancelot smirked a little at their baffled expressions. “He’s smarter than he lets on. By playing the part of an idiot, he stays alive.”

“Looks like he deserves a day off,” Leon joked. “Working three jobs; manservant, physician, and spymaster…he’s been busy.”

“If I may suggest something, Arthur? We could invite Hunith to Camelot, allow her to stay for the spring harvest, and a longer stay would please Merlin greatly.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. The knights dispersed around the camp, some to tidy and some to keep watch. But Arthur stayed on the log he once shared with Merlin.

He watched as Merlin’s chest rose and fell in perfect silence. His servant looked so innocent and sweet as he slept, but Arthur knew now that his demeanour could be deceiving.

Merlin took on the role of spymaster voluntarily and untasked simply because he wanted to protect Arthur.

Merlin had killed people. For him. For Camelot.

Merlin, the same man who cried at pretty flowers and baby birds, had snapped a man’s neck. He’d attempted to kill several kings. Despite all this, Arthur wasn’t afraid of him. He could never be afraid of Merlin.

While he had always felt as if he knew Merlin like he knew himself, it turned out that Merlin knew him better. “I do enjoy his nagging. As annoying as it can be, I do enjoy it.” He admitted to himself, not caring if the others heard. Merlin knew him so well that he had even noticed this.

Now that Arthur knew this other side of him, he could begin to mend the broken trust between them. He would show Merlin that he deserved his honesty. That it was safe to tell him more of his secrets without fear of losing their friendship.

To think that he might never have known this side of Merlin, had he not been in a stupor. All this was wilfully concealed from him. For his own good, as Merlin described it.

Arthur didn’t recognise half of the names Merlin had mentioned in his drunken state, but he hoped Merlin would be brave enough to tell him about them in the morning. Or maybe the day after, depending on his headache, come morning light. Gods knows how much his own head will hurt when he wakes.

Arthur readied himself for bed, missing the touch of Merlin’s expert hand. He downed enough water to sober him up and unlaced his boots. Merlin was fast asleep in the roll beside him, and Arthur found his presence comforting.

Merlin had always been a comfort to him. His easy smile and happy laugh. His bright eyes and mischievous behaviour enticed him. He had never let anyone in as close as Merlin.

Merlin had entered his life ten years ago and attached himself to Arthur like fungus to a tree. And Arthur had enjoyed every last second of it.

Merlin meant more to Arthur than he’d ever admitted to anyone, let alone himself. Hearing Merlin’s drunk admission of wanting to kiss him filled him with hope.

Tomorrow, they would talk.

Tomorrow, Arthur would tell Merlin all that he deserved to hear.

Until then, he fell asleep breathing in the scent of Merlin, feeling his warmth beside him, and listened to his sleepy, senseless mumbling.

[igniferrus]

God. So I've been thinking about BBC's Arthur Pendragon. I work a job heavy on the manual labour and light on the mental labour, so I have a lot of Free Brain Space.

But I started off wondering why there are so many fics about Arthur learning how much Merlin does for him, and so few of the reverse. Because there is no way that Merlin isn't in trouble 89.2% of the time, in some way or another. We see Arthur protect Merlin after his dumbass confession to Uther, and also bodily haul him out of the throne room for safety reasons. No body else could get away with stealing the Prince's food, or disappear or days and keep his job!! And Arthur doesn'teven know they're bound by destiny, he just really likes Merlin! He's just some guy Arthur found and chased around a market.

And then I remembered that so many people forget that Arthur Pendragon is fundamentally A Good Man. I know the show refused to give him permanent character development, but even his base character is a good guy! The most assholish thing we see him do is in the first episode, throwing things at the servants. And then, compared to the rest of the series, that feels very out of character!

Yes, Arthur uses Merlin as a training dummy, but I'm sure that's just to get him to quit. And it's only shown early in the first season. Arthur is consistently shown as caring for his people (refusing to enforce Catrina's tax increase, willing to die to fix his unicorn mistake), more fair about magic users despite only seeing it used for evil (saving Mordred and the woman who gave him the Horn of Cathbhadh. He even tries to give Kara an out, for Mordred!), and cares deeply for those around him! He loves Gwen. He loves Morgana. He loves Merlin. He loves his knights. He even loves Uther!

It's not his fault that the people around him refuse to allow him to make his own choices. Gauis, Uther, and Merlin all lie about his mother. Merlin and Morgana don't tell him about their magic. Morgana doesn't see him as any other than an extension of Uther, despite knowing him for years.I t's so easy to judge him as an outsider with all the facts, but we should remember that Arthur's is intentionally left out of the loop and judge him from that perspective. He does the best he can, with what he knows!

Merlin, despite being repeatedly told that he and Arthur are in this together, and need each other, does not tell Arthur anything! Arthur is not allowed to make an informed choice and he shouldn't be punished for that. Even when Merlin finally comes clean, Arthur doesn't rage! He's hurt and upset that his "only friend", the "only one [he] can trust" have been lying to his face for a decade, which, understandable, but he chooses Merlin anyway! He wants to be held by Merlin at the end, thanks him, and asks him to stay they same after Arthur's death!! Because he still cares for Merlin!

Arthur Pendragon's character development is stymied at every turn by the show and its writers, but even then they couldn't stop him from being a good man!!

This was more rambling and less coherent than I wanted, but it's been hot out lately and my brain is cooked.

Anyway, I am first and foremost an Arthur Pendragon apologist.

[sightofsea]

merlin fic recs?? <3

And Time and the World Are Ever in Flight by horsecrazy

most recent read and I highly recommend it. arthur returns and makes the long journey to find merlin, who has become a sheep farmer in ireland, and has to figure out modern life alone along the way. perfect banter VERY silly while also holding a lot of gravity and most importantly it's funnyyyyyyyy like actually truly funny

A Different Wilderness by spqr

honestly started me on this reread. it's a finale role reversal with some not so easily conquered epistolary flair. created in me new issues and voids that are still gnawing at me. yay <3

The Change Trilogy by emmbrancsxx0

my all time favorite. arthur returns but like he really does return when the world needs him the most and it's badddd out there. AND EVERYBODY ELSE RETURNS TOO!!! angsty but just the perfect amount. a continuation from s5 that really is like the true finale to me. it's insane. it's perfect. it's a full world in there. lovely torture but again not overplayed. everything feels earned. and it is also at times very funny.

The Perfect Scry by DisaLangois

This is what I mean by magic revealed by in a gaslighty kinda way. Arthur thinks Merlin doesn't know about his magic and tries to use it for tactical purposes. Merlin rolls along with it. Perfect fic for people who love liars lying and lies. And again: funny. I love when things are funny.

And like the cycle of the world, we begin again by kathyrnefromphilly

Another Arthur returns fic that's more like a cozy little blanket to fall into. Lovely side characters fun prophetic dreams and Arthur learning how to drive a car.

There Is No Roadmap To Your Life by truelyesoteric

Another Arthur returns fic what can I say I love it I love this shit. But this one's different because Arthur has BEEN returning, reincarnating and not knowing Merlin and dying, in the 1500 years between then and now. Along with everybody else, who is also back. And American. And Uther's running for Congress. And they all play basketball. And the best part is that it all works somehow.

[icantwatchtvaloneforthelifeofme]

OK ONE MORE EXAM TO GO AND IT'S THE FUCKING FAKE ASS ONE SO I'M HERE AGAIN THEHEHEEEHE but only for one episode bc i do need to go over stuff a little bit, just a teeny bit

s2 ep2 whwihwwhwo

i remember literally nothing

01:42: if uther and arthur didnt go around killing people all the time maybe poeple wouldnt want to kill them as much

02:48: this is actually the stupidest game ever

03:49: stop that's hilarious, the way for them to forget your authority is to use your authority to make them forget it. wow

04:25: oh my god im actually going to start crying he's complaining about having privelage shut up bro

04:40: dude no stop this is not a lightbulb moment you did not think og anything SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIMSELF

05:06: MERLIN WHAT WAS THAT SOUND YOU EMITTED what was that that squeak im dyng

05:09: i love how every single conversation they ahve is so formal. "it is conjured by sorcery" "then we must destroy it" father son bonding whooo

05:23: STOP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH WHY CAN THEY READ EACH OTHER SO WELL THAT ARTHUR IMMEDIATELY KNOWS THAT MERLIN IS TROLLING HIM

05:41: you must tell no one i have returned to camelot AND THEN LO AND BEHOLD MERLIN ARRIVES i swear he acts like he's clumsy bc he thinks its funny

06:19: this is about to be the funniest thing i have ever seen

how is this gonna work like does he think no one will recognise him im so confused

07:33: OH MY GOD SHE'S SO PRETTY IN THAT DRESS I AM CRASHING OUTHTUTUTUTUT

08:25: NOT THE CUT DIRECTLY IM WHEEZING

08:48: this might be the funniest scene ive ever had the honor of watching bc my stomach hurts

the astronomical events of trolling that is happening here is hurting my head

09:39: im actually snorting stop not the random solidarity in idiosy

10:05: this is about to be soooo fucking awkward i dont wanna do this it's so obvious he's never accepted hospitality before bc you ask where you're sleeping you never assume

11:38: fucking amateur assasin

13:34: you are knocking each other off horses idk how much courage is involved. stupidity, definitely

13:58: the only way this can go is his ass needs to be absolutely whooped

15:22: well i am dissapointed to say the least

16:08: this couldve been a much more wonderful episode tf is this

18:46: SOMEONE BE MEAN TO HIM TF IS THIS BULLSHIT

19:45: GO MERLIN NICE TIRADE oh he's so me immediately running away after saying a load of shit

21:39: ohhh need validation for self esteem i think i see you

22:27: for someone who's constantly lying, you are a realllyyy bad liar merlin

22:57: oh my god he's so dense how id he survive for one day in court oh it;s bc HE'S SURROUNDED BY YES MEN

23:08: oH I HAVE TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH I APPLAUD GWEN FOR SAYING SOMETHING BC I DO LOVE HER SO MUCH YEYSYEYSYS GO BESTIE SAY IT ALL

24:02: YALLLL OH MY GOD I LOVE GWEN I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SHE SAID EVERYTHING I WANTED TO SAY IN A SINGLE BREATH I WOULD DIE FOR HER I AM NOT KIDDING

24:06: NO FUCKING WAY GWEN OH MY GOD TO GO "MY LORD" AFTER THAT JESUS THE FUCKING AUDACITY I WOULD LITERALLY KILL FOR YOU

25:03: dude you are literally going to poison her stop acting like you can cook and save yourselves please

25:36: THE ABSOLUTELY BAFFLEMENT ON MERLINS FACE IS FEEDING ME RN and then the way he absolutely immediately goes back on what he said and asks for help oh you poor pathetic boy

26:01: he's so dense there is actually no way gwen said all that and OH WAIT he becomes mean when he cares HE DOES WANT TO IMPRESS GWEN

27:45: be so fr gwen you know he didn't make it

30:11: OH MY GOD STOP I LOVE THIS DYNAMIC SOOO MUCH I LOVE IT

30:43: i swear he's so sweet but he is also a walking trainwreck created by uther and i swear to god he needs someone to knock some sense into him

31:41: HHAHAHAHAHHSHAHAH THIS IS THE STORY OF ARTHURS LIFE I SWEAR TO GOD there is potential for major character development and then someone wants to kill him and it all goes down the drain bc he needs to become the future-king-killing-machine that uther made him into

32:56: the character development is sooo odd like he has the spirit but also like none of the actual attitude. it's going nowehre and im bored

oh my god they shouldve let him be nice in an arthur way yk not in a gwen way. his way of being nice would be mean-nice, not nice-nice, he doesnt have that in him why is being forceddd

33:38: not stop pushing this narrative i dont want it i want them to be close close friends and she gets to be honest with him all the time and gets to pull his head out of his arse I DONT WANT CLOSE UPS OF THEIR HANDS TOUCHING STOP

33:47: STOP THIS FUCKING SHIT NO WHY ARE THEY KISSING ALREADY ok even tho im against this i can see that it shoudnt have happened now, give it like 3 more episodes? please tf is this i want ot tear my hair out 4 MORE EPISODES AND IT WOULDVE BEEN AMAZING

SHE'S SO PRETTY OH MY GOD IM GONNA KMS STOP IT SHES SO PRETTY AND HE'S SO PRETTY OH MY GOD HIS JAWLINE HER EYELASHES SHUT THE FUCK UP even tho this scene is like against me, it's soooo pretty

34:02: why is it so long? like an hour and nothing happens whose idea was this

34:42: arthur why would you hurt her like that ok can you look at her like she means something for at least 3 sec after instead of having that oh shit i made a mistake look on your face immediately please

35:22: im sorry did no one in a crowded area think it was weird for some random dude to be peaking into a tent?

37:17: IF A LANCE CAN PIERCE ARMOUR WHY ARE YOU WEARING ARMOUR?

37:40: yalllll if they would stop rushing it i would be so much more open to this but theyre going wayyy to fast and i really dont like it, not in the least. also i need a cut to the other dude thinking "waht te fuck happened between the both of them"

41:50: is this supposed to be the redemption? cause it's fucking stupid and not effective at all. it's literally not even connected to the central character development of this episode

42:23: tere is nooooo way the hcaracter development is just him like gaining common sense? obviously avoid bloodhset that's supposed to be your responsibility as ruler and im supposed to applaud this? fuck thattt

42:36: this scene would be nice if it wasnt for the kiss HOWEVER THESE IMPLICATIONS THE WORDLESS ONES ARE GIVING ME LIFE AND I LOVE THEM LIKE IT'S REALLY CUTE WQHICH IS WHY THE KISS DIDNT HAVE TO HAPPEN LIKE NOT AT ALL

43:46: oh bestie you are lying to yourself it's not but that's fine. but also her dress in this episode is sooooo pretty i want to die

well i think we can say i am thoroughly dissapointed but also laughed out for this episode and even tho the blurb was super interesting i am not wathcing the next one bc apparently i am excercising restraint yayaya

[escespace]

Merlin And Arthur modern settings with a twist

Merlin walks into his trusted coffee shop. Locally owned, familiar customer service, he's known them since he moved to the city. Strangely there's someone at the cash register when he goes to place his order , it's not a place where there are lines or a lot of new customers.

He doesn't pay much attention until the conversation in front turns up the volume beyond what is normal for the quiet place.

"There is no way to screw up a simple order of black coffee and yet human idiocy ends up surprising me!" Said the burly blond who turns his back on him

"Hey hey! that's enough, My friend"

"Do I know you?" He turns to it and can tell that the front is just as impressive as his back had indicated.

"I'm Merlin..."

"so I don't know you"

And we know how this romantic introduction continues. The difference is that this time Freya, who is working the cash register, has been tired of the customer since he came into her store like a wrecking ball pushing other customers and ordering fancy franchise coffees until that after a lot of time wasting she forced him to make a normal request, then she decides to push the coffee in the hands of the unknown man as a courtesy of the house hoping that he would eventually go away (and hoping she would not have to intervene in whatever that pair is referring to by " Take You Apart" and "blows")

The unknown blond does not leave but has the decency to seem surprised by the attention he's been drawing as he retreats to the corner table.

Merlin is near the cash register to talk to Freya but it seems that the only thing he wants to talk about is the blond idiot, which tires his friend out. With a cake stuffed in his mouth she shushes him away, which makes him sit at a table with a direct view of the blonde.

From that position Merlin comes up with the brilliant idea of playing a harmless joke.After all, anyone who yells at the adorable Freya deserves it, right? I won't say yet what happens but it involves public wifi.

It's only when Arthur arrives at his apartment complex, where of course all his loved ones live, that he notices people looking at him strangely. Leon handed him a cream without saying anything when he passed by. Morgana can't stop laughing like a deranged hyena and Gwen is hovering around him like a disappointed mother, trying (and failing) to give him a lecture on safe practices (SAFE PRACTICES OF WHAT?)

After a while they finally take pity on him (more like they want to see his face when he finds out) and they show him a Twitter post he apparently made that same afternoon where he asked: "what could it mean if there are itchy welt near my You know?"

HE DOESN'T EVEN POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA

That one was definitely not posted by him. But then, what happened?

He delegates to Morgana the task of investigating what happened because he has no experience with technology and she has contacts. It is clear that someone entered his media but they doubt that it was only to post a silly message in an abandoned account.

The problem was that Morgana's contacts couldn't find anything even the next day. Luckily, Arthur was expecting it and didn't stop, instead preferring the old way. He checked the time the post was made and remembered that right at that the day before at that moment he was in the annoying cafeteria.

Surprisingly, the tall black-haired man is there again. And Arthur's not lying to himself, the back and forth he had earlier with that guy distracted him from the terrible day he'd been having, you could even say it was fun. He can go and bother him and do what he came to do, he is a multitasker and a skilled one at that.

"looking for trouble again?"

"That would be looking for you and, no thanks, I wouldn't disgrace myself that way"

...

"You think you're so smart but the truth is it takes more than just a quick tongue to get you far"

"You wish you could see my tongue being quick, my friend, you're not so lucky"

...

"that's not even a word!"

"Didn't you hear me say it? Let me repeat it, DOLLOPHEAD! That's what you are! "

...

And somehow they end up talking about why Arthur is there:

"Hahahaha! Whoever made this is a genius!"

"It's an eight-year-old's joke. It's not funny or stylish. Apart from that, this person entered my abandoned social networks, I don't even remember the last time I logged in... Who knows what else he has done with my data"

"You know what? I have exactly what you need"

He hands him a card that says "Golden Age: Private Investigation" and Arthur laughs

"What? You a private investigator?"

"If you don't want it..."

He tried to take it from his hand, but Arthur quickly put it in his suit jacket and, without stopping to stare at it, he walked away.

A week passed before he decided to visit the supposed offices of Golden Age and it was not in the least because of his problem with infiltration of his social networks. The truth was that nothing happened after the damn post. There was no missing money or corrupted files, and Morgana had her best technicians checking the devices associated with the organization at all times.

Before Arthur reaches the building where the offices are, he notices that there is a commotion in a remote place. There he finds Merlin surrounded by unfriendly looking men and what does the idiot do? He makes them even angrier with his mockery.

Arthur couldn't even get close because Merlin ended up showing them something from his phone. He held the device being too haughty and it seemed to be well earned given the cautious reactions he received

It seems that it was not enough because the next moment the thugs were advancing on the slender black-haired man. He was agile enough to get under the pile of arms but almost ran over Arthur, who was stupidly blocking the exit from the alley, before continuing straight towards the road with tremendous car traffic

Arthur will never admit that he was paralyzed when he noticed that Merlin didn't even take his eyes off his cell phone as he continued running. The thugs followed soon after, though not as nimbly, among the honking vehicles.

It was a miracle (more likely thanks to his obsessive observation skills) that he noticed what was really going on.

It wasn't that Merlin was a lucky bastard. The bastard was controlling the cars in some damn way until he finally reached the opposite end of the street Just as the police sirens started to sound nearby and the thugs had no choice but to start running towards a parked van

Now, now. If there's one thing Arthur is grateful for in life (and there isn't much of that) it's for making him smart. He's gotten to where he is because of his abilities, despite what anyone says, among which he takes most pride in his ability to recognize talents that would be valuable in his organization, and no matter what Merlin was doing he surely could serve well in the team.

Unbeknownst to Arthur, of course, that during the week he took to think about whether or not he should go to Golden Age, Merlin was also doing research and nothing he found about Arthur sat well with him.

This is then just the beginning of the most ridiculous and exasperating relationship of rivalry-friendship (and perhaps something more) between a genius hacker with a Robin Hood complex and a corporate who works on a line not very legal (aló? Mama? I'm in love with a criminal)

.

.

.

Holy heavens, have mercy on me and stop sending me ideas because I don't know how to write them!!! 😫😫😫

I swear that after so much thinking about this idea I already know what the first meeting between Arthur and Merlin's associates in Golden Age would be like: Lancelot and Gwaine (a disaster involving weapons and a very stressed Merlin). I also know that Arthur is in a relationship with Vivian at the time he accepts his friendship with Merlin for what it is (and neither of them like each other romantically at this point but they don't need to be in love to be their weird themselfs with each other) And VIVIAN BEGINS TO COMPETE ALONE FOR ARTHUR'S ATTENTION (She thinks she's competing against Merlin but the reality is there's no competition to begin with)...

Now now if only I could SIT DOWN AND WRITE INSTEAD OF FANTASIZING

[thisisjustmefangirling]

Merlin rewatch : 2x09 "The lady of the lake"

Freya must have been so cold wearing these rags…

Gaius, your acceptance/resignation towards people being sold for a price if they have magic freaks me out.

As if Merlin was going to let a defenseless looking girl stay in that cage… Especially someone with magic. He feels empathy for them.

Is that the first time we're seeing the Rising sun tavern ?

Oh Merlin is using so many spells in a few minutes, I'm loving it…

"Here, I thought you might be cold."

"I just saw you and… It could have been me, in that cage".

WHY is Merlin not stealing from the kitchens instead of bringing Arthur a rotten apple and a stale piece of bread ? The NERVE ?! I wouldn't have given this to anyone, even less my BOSS, a PRINCE.

Arthur's indignation : "I am fighting fit!"

I think this is where we're getting started with the fatphobic jokes…

Arthur has scratches/scars on his chest ? Where did he get that ?

Merlin giving Arthur "Sire" because he knows he fucked up…

Oh Freya was a druid ?

Merlin !!!! How did you not realise that that bathwater was BOILING and could COOK ARTHUR TO DEATH ?

"You need to warn them, Sire. The girl is dangerous. My informer told me she was cursed."

"How so ?"

"He didn't know. But he said even the druids were frightened of her. They cast her out of their camp."

So Freya is an outcast. Just like Merlin, in some way. Merlin is so powerful it'd be easy to be afraid of him once he's mature enough. He's not part of the druids. Neither is Freya.

Add butter to that bread and cheese and you get un jambon-beurre haha.

"Believe me, it's fit for a prince" hahaha no shit Merlin !

"He knows but I'm not sure he understands". => Merlin about Gaius knowing about Merlin's magic.

"Magic is not a curse. It can be a gift!" Oh baby in 1x01 you feared you were a monster ?

Merlin is lying to Gaius' face and his very inquisitive eyes…

Merlin stealing Arthur's food is supposed to be a joke, okay, but I'm not sure I like it now. Arthur is being deprived of a good breakfast and lunch. He'll be cranky come evening. Give him food.

"Merlin is my servant, he has my absolute trust. If you have a problem with him, you come to me. Do you understand ?"

This line is doing things to my heart, oh la la…

The fact that Arthur doesn't question Merlin AT ALL about his strange behaviour, they just bicker about the stolen sausages and Arthur's weight and then Merlin just… leaves. And goes straight to see Freya.

"I scare most people away" Freya you deserve better…

"You can't always trust people."

"I know. That's why I left home."

Merlin :/ Babe <3

Let it be remembered that Merlin can make flowers appear, but not food.

"With you, I can just be who I am. We don't have to hide anything. I don't have to worry."

"Being different is nothing to be scared of".

AND THAT SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK !

Awww Merlin behaving like a lovesick puppy <3

This is the first time Merlin even THINKS about leaving Camelot. He's known Freya for two days. He's just really desperate to be known for who he really is, and to be free…

Moths and woodworms : the "reasons" why Merlin is snooping into closets and bedside tables he should not be touching at all.

"Running an errand for Gaius" : excuse number 1 for weird shit and secret missions Merlin is doing.

Arthur not giving a fuck about Merlin possibly crossdressing for fun in his spare time : "As long as you do a decent day's work, Merlin, that's all I care about. […] What a man does in his spare time is completely up to him". And then the compliment : "colour suits you Merlin".

This is day three now.

"We can leave tonight, as soon as it gets dark, and we can be together".

Horses, blankets and food and they won't need more. A second kiss, and goodbye. Freya doesn't have the heart to tell him.

"There was a time when you thought twice about lying to me".

Yet Merlin said "Of course not!" which such an air of sincerity… Oh yeah, he's turning into a really good liar…

Mais Gaius t'es tellement une grosse balance, t'es là à lécher les pompes d'UTHER au lieu de régler le problème avec Merlin !

"You can never understand. Do you know how it feels to be a monster? To be afraid of who you are ?"

"Freya is very different from you. She's dangerous."

Oh I didn't remember Arthur saw her in her human form ! Lol he's just there blinking as she's turning into a bastet…

I can't freaking believe Arthur's guards and knights are running away while Arthur is trying to fight the bastet !

MERLIN ! You almost crushed Arthur to death !

He's petting her head ???

OH is Freya a rape survivor, forced to kill people by the mother of her rapist ? That's so fucked up…

"Please go."

"No. I'm not leaving you here".

The PARALLELS with Arthur's dying moments !

"One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise". Okay but do we actually see that happen in the next seasons ? I don't remember her.

What I do remember from years ago is directors saying that Colin held that level of intensity and sadness for hours in the rain for those lake scenes.

It's the first time he has to light a funeral pyre for a friend and it sadly won't be the last…

That last scene with Arthur always gets to me. Arthur might be oblivious to a lot of things but he pays attention to Merlin more than Merlin might think, I'd say.

"Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it ?"

Arthur has seen Merlin doing the weirdest things in the past four days or so : stealing his food, calling him fat, giving him stale food to eat, stealing a dress, being accused of hiding a druid… And he doesn't accuse Merlin of anything himself. He thinks "Oh, Merlin has been upset. I must find out why. Maybe it's because of me." and then he sort of apologises and when words fail him, he uses action to make Merlin smile again. Because seeing Merlin smile, as we'll learn in the next seasons ("I haven't seen you smile in the past three days") is important to Arthur. Because he cares. Another thing that gets to me is that when Merlin is sitting upset doing his chores, Arthur usually comes to sit next to him, at his eye level, or even UNDER his eye level sometimes. Yet, a Prince should never be sitting at a lower level than a servant or any lesser noble. He gives himself the look of a listener, and he's bad with words and feelings (because of his father's shitty education) but he TRIES.

Last episode was Arthur centric, with Arthur showing his most intimate thoughts and feelings to/in front of Merlin : his grief and guilt about his mother's death, his rage at the idea that his father was responsible for her death, that he was a hypocrite and a liar... This episode was Merlin centric. I wonder what next episode will be like.

This episode was really good at exploring Merlin's feelings about his magic, his identity as a warlock, his sense of loneliness at the heart of Camelot. Gaius cares about him but is still loyal to Uther, and Merlin is not sure Gaius really understands him and what it's like to be a warlock. Arthur... Merlin cares about Arthur and Arthur cares about him, but Merlin knows that he could end up in a cage just like Freya. And I think a part of him might resent Arthur for it. Or at least, at the end of the episode, he's tired of his chores... But no wonder. Your crush is killed by your soulmate, and you still have to show up at work the next day and shine his boots ?

[thatfanfictiongirl76]

Merlin Magic Reveal Rec

Ever since I watched Merlin over 10 years ago, I’ve been obsessed with magic reveal fics. And I can’t believe I haven’t made a rec of all my favorites until now.

Arthur's Silent Guardian

By: Sydelle Rein

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5699021/1/Arthur-s-Silent-Guardian

Summary: After hearing that a sorcerer named Emrys is protecting a Pendragon of all things, one sorcerer decides to take matters into his own hands and find out why. Even if that means kidnapping the prince of Camelot as bait.

My Comments: I rewrote the above summary, so it’s different from the author’s. Anyway this is one of my favorite fics. I always have loved magic reveal fics, and this one has the added bonus of tying in Emrys as well. While the magic reveal doesn’t happen in the first fic, trust me it’s worth the wait and suspense. I also love the author's OCs in this fic as well. I highly recommend this one.

Status: Complete

Length: 6,071 words

Sequels: On Shaky Ground --https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5890430/1/On-Shaky-Ground

               Of Walls and Scars --https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7721465/1/Of-Walls-and-Scars

Peace for Our Time

By: Angry Purple Fire

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18198221

Summary: Arthur has a request for Merlin. A request that is a little out of the ordinary. He wants him to learn magic.

My Comments: Have to say that this is one of my favorite fics. It is a magic reveal fic, like most of the fics in this rec. I have to say that I’ve never seen this twist on it though. So I highly recommend this fic, it really pulls in everything you could want from a fic like this. 

Status: Complete

Length: 91,060 words

Virtues, Chicken, and Destiny Series

By: Nyxelestia

https://archiveofourown.org/series/68975

Summary: Arthur had never looked forward to becoming king, but the crown had never felt so heavy as the moment he realized everyone he loved was lying to him. If he wants answers, he's going to have to find them himself.

My Comments: This is one of my favorite Merlin Canon series. It's written by one of the kinkmeme-merlin mods herself. This started as a one shot that turned into a rewrite of season 4. I have to say I really enjoyed how she pulled Emrys into this quite a lot. It's definitely worth a read.

Status: Incomplete 

Last Update: 6/14/24

Length (Whole Series): 104,986 words

Allow One to “See”

By: Mollrach13

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16729350

Summary: When the King is attacked in his tent while on patrol and falls into an unending sleep, everyone is worried. What they don’t know is that Arthur is fine. In fact he is standing right here next to them, watching them all fret over his prone body. To stave off the boredom whilst waiting for a cure to be found, Arthur takes to wandering the castle and soon discovers a hidden side of Camelot that he never knew about. 

My Comments: This is a fic I found years ago, and yes it is a magic reveal fic. I fell in love with fics where Arthur learns about Merlin’s magic. Not to mention him seeing a completely different side of Merlin. So if you enjoy magic reveal fics, you will definitely enjoy this.

Status: Complete

Length: 28,398 words

Nimueh’s Spell Series

By: Talis_Borne

https://archiveofourown.org/series/54685

Summary: Emrys and the Once and Future King have been prophesied to become partners in bringing Albion to fruition for hundreds of years. For that to happen, Arthur will have to finally discover and accept Merlin’s magic. But how does a Prince, who has been raised to believe that all magic is evil, overcome his own prejudices to accept a sorcerer as a full partner? That isn’t a moment, it’s a journey. 

My Comments: This is a favorite series of mine that I just fell in love with. I love the characterization of the characters, not to mention the magic reveal was just incredible. I also love the drama that the author brought into this. I desperately wish the author had finished the series, although they did leave off at a good stopping point. I highly recommend giving this one a go. You won’t regret it.

Status: Incomplete

Last Update: 12/10/16

Length (Whole Series): 209,132 words

From the Start

By: CrzyFun

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12662994

Summary: Merlin sat frozen. On the one hand, he should really leave. If the stranger really had seen him use magic then he would accuse Merlin of being a sorcerer, which was a death sentence in these parts. On the other hand, could he really leave a man to die in the woods?

My Comments: This is an absolutely amazing fic about Arthur finding out about Merlin’s magic in the beginning of the series. It goes from season 1 to season 3, and is just phenomenal. Highly recommend this fic!

Status: Incomplete

Last Update: 1/30/23

Length: 130,621 words

[hopelessromantic5]

Another Merthur drabble, this one a tad happier.

It had been an innocent touch. One that Merlin, for all his worries, thought he had gotten away with.

Honestly, it wasn’t even a thought, it was an instinct.

Arthur was preparing to step out of their tent and take on four men at once, ‘a show of strength’ Uther said. This was ‘The Tournaments to end All Tournaments’.

Merlin thought it was stupid and reckless. Especially for a man, a King no less, to voluntarily throw his own son into the mix. But that was Uther, he supposed.

Still, it worried Merlin. This wouldn’t be the first time a foe disguised himself as a knight to attempt the murder of his Prince.

That won’t be happening, as far as Merlin is concerned. Over his dead body.

Arthur watches him now, as he buckles the last straps in his armor. Merlin only looking up to meet sparkling blue eyes as he hands over the Prince’s sword. Merlin knows this will not be the sword he wields, once and forever. No, that sword was lying safely at the bottom of a lake, with Freya. At least, he felt some relief in that knowing.

Still it hurt Merlin’s heart to think he could not gift it to Arthur now, when he needs its strength the most.

“What’s wrong? Not worried are you?”

Merlin snaps back into himself. “I’m only worried about the dents I’ll have to bang out of this armor later.” The raven boy rolls his eyes, continuing the show they put on. Sometimes for their own amusement, sometimes to stay afloat in a sea of hopelessness.

“It won’t take me long.” The prince replies haughtily before turning back to Merlin. “I’ll try to keep your precious metal in perfect condition.”

Merlin knows he meants something else. He knows it is an unspoken promise to come back to this tent, no matter what.

“Let me just double check-“

“Merlin.” Arthur sounds exasperated but Merlin hears the fondness hiding just behind it.

“It’s just a double check, to make sure it all in place.” Merlin placates, stepping forward once more to look over the links and plates and layers that would be keeping his future from harm. Forgive him for wanting to be sure.

He ran his hands along the front, checking each crevice for any unprotected skin or limbs. He ran his hands down the length of Arthur’s arms. His right, protected by the same plates as his chest, his sword arm. His left remained just chain and cloth. Flexibility needed for the shield. Not that he expects Arthur to keep the shield in his hand for longer than two seconds anyway.

The horns blares announcing that the next bout will begin momentarily, Merlin realizes hurriedly ducking down, checking all the straps, not too tight, not too loose.

“Alright. You’re ready.” Merlin says, not fully feeling it.

Without thinking, he brings both hands up to cradle Arthur’s face, for just a moment. He feels soft skin, a sharp jawline for only a heartbeat, breifly meeting ocean eyes, before shoving Arthur out of the tent flaps and hoping that he didn’t get killed or maimed.

Merlin doesn't realize what exactly he has done, until two days later.

Of course, Arthur is victorious, despite Merlin’s worries about Sir Theron having ill intentions.

Therefore, the celebratory feast is in his honor.

Merlin may complain and berate Arthur about his head getting too big, but in reality, there is no one else in the kingdom that deserves the honor more than the Prince. He does more work in the castle, for the citizens, and just in general, than Uther has ever done in his life. Arthur isn't yet twenty one. He is Head Knight, he trains squires and deals with grain reports to ensure they are 'done properly'. He never turns away a citizen that comes to him for help, and he will always stand up for the innocent, even if it means his own punishment.

It's a lot to put on any one man, so yeah, Merlin would say he deserves a feast. At the very least. Merlin doesn't even make any jokes about Arthur getting round at the waist, both of them knowing well that the Prince is in excellent shape.

Merlin stands behind Arthur, attending him, as he always does. And subtly listening in on he and Morgana's whispers about their guests.

It was a single second between Merlin looking toward the rest of the room filled with people, and Sir Theron standing from his place, quick as lightening, and sending a dagger sailing through the air towards Arthur's head.

Oh gods, not this again. Merlin thinks. Just before his instincts can kick in and wordlessly move the knife three inches to the left in midair, something… strange happens.

The dagger makes it about two feet from the Prince before completely disolving into…sand? Merlin wouldn't have beleived it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes.

It wasn't he that did this. At least…he didn't think so… Oh no.

Oh no oh no ohnoohnoohno. It's all that he can think as everyone in the room stands frozen, apart from the knights of camelot that jump to grab Sir Theron and throw him in the dungeons.

Even Theron himself doesn't fight it, too stunned at the fate of his terribly thought out murder scheme.

"Father, may I… be exused?"

Uther is almost in a trance looking down at the pile of sand on the high table. "Of course. Go. Rest. You did well today."

Merlin could almost scoff. The man doesn't even look his son in the eye whilst giving him the barest amount of affection that any human could possibly manage. Arthur has almost been hurt or killed more than once because of these stupid tournaments, and all Uther can say is 'You did well."

Merlin doesn't know his father, but he surely must be better than Uther could ever attempt.

Arthur makes his way out of the Great Hall, sending Merlin a look that conveys the Prince wants him to follow.

He does. Reluctantly.

Oh gods. What does he know? What is Arthur going to do? Will Merlin be dead by sunrise? Surely not…right?

They finally, painfully find themselves in Arthur's chambers and it is deadly quiet. Only the night's summer breeze entering through the open window.

Arthur turns to him, and immidiately, with one look, Merlin knows. Merlin knows that he knows. The panic starts to set in and it must show because Arthur's face softens, infentesimely.

"Merlin." He says quietly. As if berating his magical manservant for not knowing that he wouldn't kill him on the spot if he found out.

Merlin can only helplessly shrug in response as a single tear slides down his face, expression unchanging. He might not be able to stop himself from crying but he would not sob. He would not lose himself that way, not in front of Arthur.

Arthur approaches slowly. While Merlin knows that he won't harm him, he appreciates the gesture.

"I assume that wasn't you, just now." The Prince says.

Merlin gasps inaudibly.

Arthur continues, as if he hadn't heard. "I mean it was you, but it wasn't. Not just now."

Merlin slowly nods. "I don't really know what that," he gestures towards the door, the outside world, "was. But I have a…hunch." The warlock looks down at his own feet, deeply ashamed.

"So do I." Merlin's head lifts at Arthur's words and finds him smiling. Like he knows something that Merlin doesn't. Then, he takes another slow step. "Do you remember a few days ago, just before my first round of the tournament, you were looking my armor over…"

Merlin hides his flushing face behind his hands, hoping to be swallowed up by the ground. "Yes. I remember." He whispers and then inwardly groans at how emotional and damning his words were.

"Well," The smug prat was still smiling, almost laughing to himself. "When you touched me, I saw your eyes flicker just for second. I'd have missed it if I wasn't already looking. You seemed not to have noticed. But I defintitely felt…a veil go over me. Like something was now standing between me and any threat I could face." Arthur stood a foot away, not looking away from Merlin for a second since they entered the room, his manservant was getting increasingly intimidated and red.

"But…" he thought for a moment. "The tournament, how did their swords not…"

"I don't beleive they ever got close enough."

Merlin rolls his eyes, out of habit. "Yeah, yeah, you're the greatest warrior there ever was," He scoffs. "I'm telling you, you don't watch that ego, it'll outweigh you. And that's really saying something."

Merlin nearly winces after he finishes speaking but jumps when Arthur starts laughing and shaking his head. "Gods, what am I going to do with you, Merlin? You insult me, you unintentionally save my life with magic in front of the king, and you seem to give no thought for your own head attatched to your shoulders." He sighs an exasperated sigh. Suddenly he's closing the distance, reaching out his hand's to cradle Merlin's face but, unlike him, Arthur does not pull away. "Promise me that you will be careful." He whispers, staring directly into Merlin's soul, magic and all.

"I will. But I cannot promise I won't use it, if it saves your life, even if I have to-"

A fire lights behind Arthur's eyes. "What? Even if you have to what? Burn for it?"

Merlin nods, strong hands still holding him in place.

"I'm not worth that, Merlin. It is not an equal trade, my life for yours. Not even close." The Prince's ire was turning to anguish. He now knew exactly how exposed and in danger Merlin was, just for existing.

"Don't ever say that to me." Merlin says this quietly, in their bubble, but his voice holds the conviction of a king, a god. "I would die a thousand times if it meant you survived. A world without you in it is not a world I can tolerate." Merlin goes to move away but Arthur etertwines his hands behind the raven boy's neck, holding him there.

"What about my quality of life, Merlin? Don't I get a say?" Their foreheads press together, they breathe each other's air.

"No. In fact, consider every decision you'll ever need to make, already made for you."

Arthur has to laugh. Partially because he knows Merlin is right. Maybe he's always known.

[keitorin3]

OK so I'm new to Tumblr but I had this weird (but I think is awesome) idea that I really just wanted to share.

So I am a big fan of the Damien/Merlin AU idea. It was actually inspired by a book I once read in Ao3, full credits to the author.

Damien AU

I imagine Merlin was obviously immortal and been around waiting for Arthur, and during this time ~ like 4 to 5 years before Damien's 30th birthday ~ he was about to go on Vacation to the Pacific but got news of a new medicine program ~ or something ~ in America and changed plans.

He's a 21-22 year old meds/arts (idk either sound plausible) college student who befriends a girl, Kelly, due to an unfortunate encounter (Kelly was in the wrong place at the wrong or right time, and Merlin jumps in to help but it was unnecessary as Kelly being a badass takes them down. She's an aspiring war photographer, she got to know some fight moves!)

Their friendship was built and thanks to Kelly with her connections and friends, Merlin meets Damien Thorn at a get-together he was invited to at the pub.

Picture Merlin seeing this dark haired and scruffy version of his dear friend wearing modern clothes and a brown leather jacket. His accent American and Merlin's magic is suddenly gooey and vibrating under his skin when they shake hands. But his smile... Merlin was gone for that smile.

Kelly: *Introducing Damien and Merlin*

Damien: *Smiles* "Damien Thorn, Pleased to meet you."

Merlin: *Dazed and goofy because he's magic high and hooked* "Merlin Thorn, I met you pleased..." *Suddenly realises, and blushes bright red* "Wait! No- I meant Emrys! I'm Merlin Emrys! Your not Thorn, wait no! I'm not- I mean uh... Pleased you met me-- NO-?!!"

Kelly: *At some point pulled out her camera and start recording*

Damien: *Surprised and charmed by the adorable guy with cute flushed ears* *Smirks pleasantly and flirts back*

Merlin: *Scrabbles on what to say, unknowingly flirting back*

Kelly: 'Oh just wait until I show Simone this!'

And so not long after the two met they started dating. At first Merlin thought he could help Damien remember, but over their time together Merlin came to really Love Damien. He loved Arthur and a part of him always will, but getting to know Damien, Merlin fell fast.

Meanwhile Kelly is being the ultimate Wingwoman who's looking forward to the day they get married so she can play all the *cough*blackmail*cough* memories shes caught of them.

Now, Damien who has never been so happy before meeting Merlin, saw Merlin as like his Ray of light and lucky charm. Since his entire life has been a series of misfortune all around. Merlin, this skinny, pale white, big earred, doe eyed guy with a heart stopping smile. Never has he fallen in love so seamlessly.

Damien: *During their third Date where Merlin is arguing over something with sparkles in his eyes. Damien not even sure what he's saying, smilies fondly at the adorable man.*

Merlin: "Damiiiienn! Are you listening to me?! What's going through that thick head of yours?"

Damien: *Laughs* "Nothing, it's just, there's something about you Merlin. I can't put my finger on it." *Gives Merlin a significant look* "But you're special."

Merlin: *Flushes red while flailing in embarrassment*

They are together for a year before merlin gathered the courage to tell Damien about himself, his magic and his past. He has made the mistake of lying to Arthur in the past and after recent years of therapy, he could not live in another lie with Damien.

It took time to process after being shown evidence of magic and weeks of discussions ~ a lot of them hard for Merlin to tell as he cried at times like Arthur's death and Camelots fall, going through depression while isolating in a cave for a century.

In the end, Damien determined Merlin's character and love to be true. And honestly wasn't even mad at the other. Damien could never fully be mad at Merlin. Not when he can see the cracks of a too worn heart, hidden behind a youthful face. It makes his own heart break at the seams.

So Damien held on to this impossible man, and swore he would not let him go.

Merlin: *Makes a butterfly with his magic, eyes glowing like golden stars, gazing back at Damien like a miracle come alive*

Damien: *Laughs when the butterfly lands on the tip of Merlin's nose, who makes a cross-eyed at the small creature.* 'You were a fool Arthur. The world was by your side and you left him alone.'

Damien: "I Love You, even if you're an old magical man of legend."

Merlin: *Hits him lightly for the old comment before kissing him* "And I love you, even if you're a bit of a sap."

Damien: *Kisses back* "Not that your complaining."

Merlin: *Heavily in love* "No, no I am not."

It is not long after this where their bond has gotten stronger, that Damien proposes to Merlin.

Kelly is there to film and photograph the event with Amani as help (the two helped plot to get their besties together after all). It was beautiful and made even more magical when Merlin, overwhelmed with such happiness, released some of his magic and caused it to rain flowers and sparkles.

This was so fun! And I wish I had the patience to actually write a book of this. I'm not done yet, I've still haven't reached to Damien's 30th birthday, when his powers Awaken. I've got ideas, and even more crossovers to think of for this and other AUs.

I'm still thinking if I should make this mpreg like the fic (the top Ao3 link). I quite like the idea of children honestly. Like bring back Aithusa as DamienxMerlin's kid.

Till next time, fellow dreamers~! 👋🥰✨

[larluce]

Rules: you will be given a word. Then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

I was given the word TIME by @tansyuduri . Thank you SO much for the tag! ❤️

The first one is a fragment of the next chapter of my fic From the Grave to the Craddle

The second one, a fragment of the next chapter of my fic Protecting the Dragonlord's Son

The third one, a very future scene that will happen on my Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

And the fourth one, a scene from Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU that will appear once is fic (Yes I'm working on that too) , which I'm co-writing with @evadne01 and @rubinaitoart by the way!

- T -

The wooden dummy falls to the ground, the sound of the impact muffled by the grass. Arthur gasps, sweat running down his forehead and nose. He's exhausted, he had to defeat ten 'bandits' today, but the adrenaline is still strong in his veins, so he doesn't abandon his defensive stance. He's sure this is the last one, but there was always the possibility that he had miscounted or that his master had added more hidden dummies to take him by surprise.

“Boo!” a voice shouts behind him and Arthur turns quickly, almost dropping the handle of his sword, startled. Those electrifying blue eyes he knows so well look at him mischievously accompanied by a big smile worthy of someone very pleased with himself.

“By the gods, Merlin!” exclaims Arthur. “One of these days I'm going to stab you by accident if you keep doing that.”

“With a wooden sword?” Merlin looks at him with a raised eyebrow. Arthur looks at his sword.

“It's more dangerous than it looks,” the blond defends his trusty weapon, stubborn and proud as only a fourteen-year-old can be.

Besides, I'll soon have a real one, Arthur thinks with excitement, Emrys promised me.

“Your reflexes have improved, Arthur, good job,” as if he had summoned him with his thoughts, his mentor emerges from the shadows. He has a slight smile on his face, just a hint of a smile, and yet it is the widest smile he has seen in years. “Merlin, what did I tell you about butting in on your partner's training?” the old man scolds his other pupil.

“Oh, but he was done!” Merlin retorts, but when he sees that his master does not take his disapproving look away, he sighs. “I'm sorry, I won't do it again.” Emrys just shakes his head.

“Help Arthur out of his armor and we’ll start your training,” the old man turns around and, with a movement of his hand, makes the wooden and straw dolls scattered on the floor stand up, as if they had a life of their own, and follow him in a row behind him, marching.

“You see that?!” exclaims the twelve-year-old warlock, between impressed and irritated, pointing in the direction his mentor went with the fake bandits. “He didn’t even use a spell or anything. He just…” he imitates the movement with his hand in an exaggerated manner. “That!”

“You can also move things without casting any spells, Merlin,” says Arthur as if it were no big deal, while trying to undo the straps of the armguard. “Ow!” he complains when his friend removes the shoulder pad with his arm in the wrong position.

“Don't move,” Merlin warns. “Moving objects is one thing, Arthur, animating them is another. Even with spells it’s hard to achieve-Stop moving!”

- I -

“I’m fine now. Really.”

Arthur stares at his servant’s face for a few seconds to make sure he’s not lying. Merlin knows this, so he holds his gaze, even though he feels self-conscious at the intensity in the prince’s eyes. He understands that after so many lies Arthur doesn’t believe him right away and that they have to rebuild the trust between them.

Merlin understands that, but… Is it necessary that Arthur looks at him straight in the eyes like that?

“Very well,” the prince finally agrees. “Since we have that settled. We need to talk about the dragon.”

“Oh…” Merlin gets nervous again. “Can’t we start with something else?”

The young warlock doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the dragon right now. Not when the worst mistakes he’s made are related to it.

“No, Merlin,” Arthur says in a tone that almost sounds apologetic. “We have to start with this. My father is going to question you about the dragon.”

“What?!” Merlin screams in panic. What does he mean Uther is going to interrogate him again? He barely survived the first interrogation!

Noticing his distress, Arthur quickly grabs his arm with one hand. Merlin is puzzled for a moment. Does he think he's going to run away?

“It's just a routine investigation,” the prince reassures him, and the hand on his arm begins to gently caress him with his thumb. “You were the last to interact with the dragon and the dragonlord, so he wants to know if you have any information that could help stop them.”

Merlin looks away and blushes helplessly. It's absurd, it's not like it was the first time Arthur grabbed his arm or held him this close, but it was always rough and in a camaraderie-like manner. This… this feels more intimate somehow. It's…

As his anxious hands begin to play with the sheet he remembers that he's sitting on Arthur's bed. Right, Arthur has sat him on his bed! Since when does he do that?

“Merlin?” the prince snaps his fingers, bringing his servant out of his thoughts.

- M -

Much to his dismay, Carleon realises how doomed his nephew actually is.

It was no secret that the King of Camelot was a falcon lover, especially merlins. They were the national bird par excellence and their hunting was forbidden throughout Camelot kingdom. He's been informed its King has 6 pet merlins, 1 that turned out to be a magical creature and 5 common merlins that he has entrusted to his most trusted knights and they are better trained than any domesticated bird ever seen in all Albion. Everyone knows that Arthur Pendragon loves those merlins with his life.

And his nephew, his nephew had...

Arthur: (barely contained rage) He shot him with an arrow that went through his wing and chest. (His voice breaks a bit) He was just two years old.

Carleon: I'm sure my nephew didn't mean to... I mean, I don't think he knew it was one of your merlins. He's still not aware of all the new customs of your kingdom. Where we come from, bird hunting is very common-

Arthur: In other words, he didn't even want to kill my merlin in an act of defense or attack, but just for the fun of it.

Carleon: You have to understand. He's young, immature.

Arthur: We're the same age. Are you implying that I'm not mature enough to be king?

Carleon: ...

Arthur: Of course you are. That's why you keep sending raiders to my borders. That's why you haven't wanted to sign a peace treaty or negotiate with me in my nearly two years of reign. You think me incompetent, an easy target, and what word did you use? Immature.

Carleon: Well, you risking your kingdom to go to war with another just because your bird pet was shot doesn't exactly help my image of you.

Arthur: (pauses dangerously, and says in a low voice) "just because your bird pet was shot." (Repeats, raising his voice, furious) Just because your bird pet was shot!

Carleon: We have several falcons in Gwynedd too, I'm sure we can come to an agreement-

Arthur: Blizzard.

Carleon: ... Pardon?

Arthur: My merlin, the one your nephew injured, is called Blizzard. I took care of him since he was an egg, I saw him hatch, I fed him myself, I saw him grow, molt his feathers, he was the first of my merlins to learn to fly. My merlins were one of the few joys and comforts I had after my father passed away and my home was almost burned to the ground, King Carleon. My merlins are not my pets, they are my children and you are offering to replace him?

Carleon: (shocked) No... I mean...

Arthur: Well, I'll give you the same solution. You replace your nephew.

Carleon: (furious and offended) You little brat-

Arthur: Be careful with your words, I think you forget that I still have your prince's life in my hands.

Carleon: (sighs to calm down) If you kill him there will be war. Be reasonable.

Arthur: I tried to be reasonable with you several times in the past and you rejected each opportunity. Don't call me unreasonable now. Your prince committed a crime in my kingdom. If it had been anyone else, the sentence would have been the same. I'm just enforcing the law, it's not my fault that the prince wasn't aware of the laws of the lands he was trying to steal from me. Besides, weren't you looking for the perfect excuse to go to war with me? Well, here it is. Aren't you happy?

Carleon: (threatening) If you execute him, I'll have no mercy when these lands are mine.

Arthur: I admire your optimism, as if Camelot's army wasn't as strong and large as yours. But guess what? Even if you left a river of blood in your wake, nothing, absolutely nothing, will bring you back your beloved nephew.

Carleon: ....

Arthur: (laughs humorlessly, his eyes glazed over) It hurts, doesn't it? You won't see your nephew again and I won't see my Blizzard again. Nothing will bring him back to me.

Carleon: (sighs) Alright, I underestimated you and I was greedy and for that I ask for your forgiveness. I'm willing to negotiate now.

Arthur: I don't want to negotiate. I want justice.

- E -

Everyone eyes are on the sapling now. Horrible realization in their eyes. Gwen gasps and covers her mouth, her eyes watering. Leon pales so much it's almost funny. Percival, who seems dead inside, hardly responsive, opens his eyes wide as the only reaction to the news. Gaius… Gaius already suspected, of course, but it doesn't make him look less devasted.

Gwen: Why? Why would they…?

Arthur: They wanted to punish him. Something about him doing more wrongs than rights with his power, I don't know. (Thinks) And honestly I don't care. Who are they to decide? What right do they have?

Gaius: Rather Merlin wronged them. They’ve meddled in Camelot’s affairs twice before. Lady Sofia and Lord Aulfric. Princess Elena. Merlin stopped them every time.

Arthur: (Thinking) Nobody thought to tell me any of this until now? (Bitterly) So it was personal?

Gaius: I… wouldn't be able to tell.

Arthur: (about to lash out) You knew that and you thought going for them for help was the best idea?!

Gaius: I…

Gwen: (scolds) Arthur! (rests her hand against his arm, and both Leon and Percival bow their heads a little.) I know you're hurt. We are all hurting. But don’t You dare blame Gaius for this. Don't You dare!

Arthur: (composes himself) You’re right. My apologies, Gaius. You are not at fault, lets focus in what we can do to get him back to normal.

....

That would be all.

The word I choose is LATE.

I tag: @evadne01 , @rubinaitoart , @theroundbartable , @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral .

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 6 - A Remedy to Cure all Ills

Before I start, let me just say, I'm really happy I'm getting to rewatch the earlier seasons. Of course the next random episode might be literally season 5 or something, but it's great that it hasn't happened yet.

Let's fucking start bitches

Not the wiggly evil fingers just a few seconds in.

Damn boy you got some dirty ass nails, wash your hands.

MORGWEN MY BELOVEDS!!!! Also the way Gwen looked at Morgana after she asked who'd she want the flowers to be from. Girl looked ready to risk it ALL, let me put a screenshot actually.

OUGHHHH the brainrot is real with these two

LIKE??????? GWEN'S THIRSTY (me too)

Alright girls, enough yearning please

Ugh, I hate the little sound the bug made when it dropped from the flower. Butthole clenched in digust.

Oh thank god they DON'T show it literally entering her ear. That would've been so gross.

LETS GO INTROOOOOO

Oh Gwen looks BEAUTIFUL in that yellow color. It does everything for her!!

"She's all but dead, Merlin." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GAIUS

Most suspicious ruse of all time. "Oh, i have a cure for all ills. And also I know the king's ward is very sick. But anyways, I'll be at the inn :)." Bitch.

"But I'm not worried." me when I lie. Merlin is so bad at lying, jesus fuck

Merlin sits down to stop pacing. Arthur gets up and starts pacing. Two sides of the same coin or whatever.

Underrated Arthur shirt is the purplish one he wears in the scene where he begs Uther n Gaius to hear the strange man out. That color looks good on him. It might be his red shirt but in a weird lighting?? I can't be sure.

I really like when Gaius gets to talk all medical considering how limited the medicine world was at the time. It's really really cool, I love seeing this insight into what was possibly like to be a physician at the time. I don't of this happens much in the show.

Arthur really is so trusting when it comes to his loved ones. Of course he's not at fault, like he said what do they have to lose at this point, honestly I've done the same. It's just. Heartbreaking to notice that trait knowing what comes next.

"Science is knowledge." Merlin is such a nerd, I love him.

Oh, not Gaius and Edwin having a lying competition over here. There's a better term for it, but whatever.

Gwen is SO FUCKING GORGEOUS but girl please that's a fucking sorcerer, go AWAY be SAFE. She's so smart though. Immediately knew something was off. He tries to be all "She may die :(." to get her to be worried and not suspicious, but it literally doesn't work. She leaves the room but not because she thinks he's got Morgana's best interests at heart. She knows something is wrong. She also knows she holds no power. And on the chance that he is right and Morgana dies, she'd never forgive herself.

The fucking lying back and forth between Gaius and Edwin. Like. From the outside, it sounds like a perfectly normal convo. But they both know it isn't. And WE know it isn't 'cause we know Edwin's full of shit.

Interesting how Arthur isn't seated but Uther and Morgana are.

Who the fuck knocks on someone's door, doesn't hear an answer, and then just let's themselves in?? I'm sorry, if you're a stranger, I'm not doing that. The fuck's wrong with you Merlin, you nosy boy??

It is so sickening that these villains of the week have views that we can agree with. Yes, magic is a gift and can be a force for good, you're right! But it's because of Uther and his oppression that they turn bitter and ruthless and vindictive. And yes, you do have to eliminate those who are like Uther because they will only propagate the same corrupted and repressive beliefs. The problem, the layers, is that some of those people are actually very much capable of understanding the very fundamental logic that "Sorcerers deserve too live in freedom" but they're so filled with fear and propaganda of the contrary that it's so hard to get out of it. And that's why, if they killed Uther with magic, Arthur would hate magic even more (just like it happens in canon), which would then just repeat the cycle, etc etc. You need to uproot the system, but killing everybody is not the answer; but also having to teach such a fundamental thing, that certain humans deserve basic rights, is such a painful thing to teach, and the oppressed does not have the obligation to do so. But then the cycle just repeats and repeats and it's SHIT. Anyways.

It's so funny that in season 1 they hadn't figured out the cgi for the golden eyes so they just. simply don't show it.

The things Edwin say are like. Well-meaning. But there's just this off vibe that the most intelligent characters (Gaius, Gwen, Merlin) can just. pick up. And even though Merlin really likes what Edwin is saying, there's just something telling him... it's wrong.

Uther, of course, would never even believe anyone would just lie so blatantly and manipulate him like this because he thinks himself very intelligent; which is why he's falling for everythinggg that Edwin says. But, credit where credit's due, Edwin is an excellent liar.

Gaius wears the most cunty ring on his pinky finger, hello?

I want that ring bro.

Oop, not Gaius having his cowardice and betrayal shoved right in his face. I get it, you wanted safety. But there's consequences to your actions. And I know Gaius feels so guilty about all his friends that died at the stake while he remained safe and sound.

If Gaius would've left in this episode, replaced by Edwin, I bet Morgana would've felt so guilty. In her mind, her illness is what caused him to leave. Gaius truly was there for Morgana and Arthur in ways Uther simply could not.

OOP Gaius and Kilgarrah meeting!!!!!!!! I forgot this happened lmao

Gaius got a little taste of how infuriating the dragon is.

Wait, Gaius was employed for Arthur's birth? That's so interesting. He probably already lived in Camelot but he's been a court physician for 20 years. He was already quite old by then.

It's the way that Gaius is just. Ready to throw his whole life away to make sure Merlin is safe and sound. That's his fucking son, bro!!!

What the actual fuck, they're gonna make me cry :(((( Gaius called Merlin a blessing and his son, I can't.

THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE IM GONNA CRY

Gwen is so iconic, speak the fucking truth girl.

THAT ICONIC GWEN LINE YESSSSSSSSSS QUEENNNN

Not Gaius with his lil blanket and lil fire. He looks so smol, it's so funny.

Edwin could've waited a lil bit before going all murder on Uther. That just looks suspicious as fuck ngl.

GAIUS GETTING BLOWN BACK SHOULD'NT BE SO FUNNY BUT--

I wonder how Arthur knew that his father was ill. It means he went into his room, but why? Did he have some feeling about Edwin? About Gaius leaving? Was it some courtly concern? I'm assuming no one else would have the privilege of seeing Uther at night except for his son and ward so.

Yes, Merlin, just stare at the floating axe that's being controlled by the evil sorcerer right in front of you, you're so smart. Also the slow-mo is so goofy.

It's interesting that they shot both Merlin and Edwin's eyes up-close when they did magic, Merlin to do the golden eye effect, but for Edwin it seems that his pupils just change size. I wonder if not all sorcerers have their eyes glow, if it depends on the magic. Edwin is using dark magic, could it be that? That's interesting, imo. Dark magic equals no golden eyes. Kinda fun.

Violent ass death for Edwin, damn. Axe to head, bitchass

Oh it must be so weird for Merlin to be touching Uther like that. Like that's intimate as shit.

So cuteeee Gaius calling Merlin a genius, they're adorable. He's so proud. That was a feat, though, just pure improv and luck. Merlin is still a noob at controlled magic so this was really damn good.

Love that it's so canon that Gaius potions taste like fucking ASS. Uther's face, lmao.

Interesting that Uther asked if Gaius remembered his friends that burned at the pyre, and Gaius answers "All of them." and Uther doesn't even comment. As bonkers as it sounds, they truly are friends in some capacities. I wonder if Gaius could make Uther change his mind. Not Morgana or Arthur, but Gaius. But he made the choice to abandon magic, Uther presumed because Gaius understood its dangers, but if he were to find out that actually Gaius doesn't agree, I wonder what Uther would think about that. Like a genuine and open convo about it. I think he'd just arrest Gaius for it, but I don't know. I think there's at least some reality where he gives it some more thought. But I don't know if he'd ever repel the ban, more because he'd have to admit that he was wrong, and admitting you're wrong is also accepting and processing all the shit you did for that wrong thing, and I just think Uther is too cowardly to do so. He knows it would break his mind to truly process all the pain and horror he's caused; so no matter his inner philosophies, he'll never repel the ban, because the damage has been done, and he'd rather live like that than start anew in the new reality where he's wrong.

"In the fight against magic, you are the one person I can trust." yet again. Gaius going against this? Uther can't fathom it. He's so confident that Gaius is 100% on his side.

Arthur smiling at Gaius, awww.

Two pretty bestfriends. No wonder half the kingdom wants to fuck them both. Also what the fuck is a "freeman"??? Genuinely, what is it??

And that is it. Loved it, of course.

[t0ast-ghost]

Time for episode 27 (Errand Of Mercy) all I know is it’s something to do with Klingons.

Hoppin’ to it:

- War happened so fast

- SULU IN CHARGE OF THE BRIDGE! YEAHH

- It’s so funny how the welcomer has such a short name, and then Kirk is like I am captain, James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, blah blah blah

- okay guys, who painted the goats? Real funny

- I kinda like how chill the council is

- WHAT THE FUCK?? Those are literally just a bunch of guys..

- THEIR OUTFITS IM SCREAMING (they look like Merlin and Arthur holy moly. Kept them in their yellows and blues which I love and respect)

- “He is not a spy.” oh my fucking god you’re terrible at this Kirk. Can’t let Spock go for one second istg

- “I don’t trust men who smile too much.” that’s a pretty good rule of thumb to have tbh

- he’s so pretty oh my he’s so- my heart

- “He’s my friend.” BRO CAN YOU BE WORSE AT BEING UNDERCOVER??? Okay but the soft look that Spock gives after is amazing

- Kirk’s dramatic ass

- They invaded his brain what the fuck

- Kirk trying to get into a fight AGAIN.. Spock is like smh gotta save this idiot

- “You didn’t really think I was gonna beat his head in, did you?” “I thought you might.” “You’re right.”

- Kirk hid lying against stairs. Spock literally ran behind a tree. I don’t understand how they think this will work, and more I don’t understand how it does work

- lmao both Kirk and the Klingon commander hating on the councilman

- The scales are off the charts

- Once again it is brought up how Kirk is just like the enemy and that they are animalistic and predators. It’s interesting to see the shows and when these episodes occur where they are set in space (usually on a planet similar to earth) and technology is so advanced but they bring in the idea that no matter how advanced we get we will always go back to instincts, we will always want to fight.

- “Go climb a tree.” This bitch. Get it I guess.

- My favourite part of this show is how they shave the sideburns to be points.

- AHHH OUTFITS

- “7824.7 to one. I endeavour to be accurate.” “You do quite well.” Holy crap just kiss

- I like when the extreme heat started it quickly flipped back to the enterprise crew jumping up out of their seats

- They sound like children trying to pick fights and Ayelborne is a very tired parent that needs to get involved

- wow a whole episode without McCoy

- “Even the gods didn’t spring into being over night.” Good line from Spock

That was an… interesting episode..

Masterpost.

[threbe]

He doesn't have what he wants sadly

Honestly I don't think a lot of characters have what they want in this story

Yes I'm talking about Arthur even Merlin, and all of the people in Camelot they do not have what they really want they are in denial and delusional

In the same goes for what's being said here by Anna

And

That's the thing I don't think diodora has everything he wants

He's still technically not healthy even when we were first introduced to him he was still seemed sick even now he's possibly still really sick he's never had a mother in his life he's probably wanted that I'm not sure if he even has friends or even has met other children around his own age besides maybe anna from what it seems this interaction has shown

He knows iron sides been lying to him about life outside of Camelot I'm sure like many others in Camelot he's wanted to go outside and see what it's like out there he knows it can be a scary as his father's describes diodora situation isn't that different from gwaian

He truly isn't going to find answers he seeks there even Arthur lights and him and that's why he's currently in The cauldron the only real way he's going to be able to get Ironside back to normal is with percival's help but due to how this chapter went them being allies doesn't seem like something that's going to happen at least not in part two possibly by the end of part two maybe by part three of diodora realizes that Percival might be the only person who can help him but then we have to look back on what Guinevere said to Ironside

About him dying and deodora's arms are maybe even percivals ???

Not completely sure it's really up in the air with who he'll be dying by

I could see it where it is Percival who does finally kill Ironside for killing his grandfather I could also see it where Ironside dies protecting deodora I could see it where it also chaos turns on iron side and kills him in front of Percival and diodora but diodora still blames Percival possibly having a parallel back to this moment here with Anna

Where he'll never be able to fully forgive Percival

Another theory I have is that iron sight might die before Camelot goals to lions again like we saw in guinevere's vision and it could be the eldora taking his father's place as The Red Knight helping Arthur fight the seven deadly sins with his own fragment of chaos inside of him that actually like to see this happen cuz I think it actually be cool deal Dora even after taking on chaos still thinks that Percival in the sins are the reason his father has completely lost himself and forgot about him and then ended up dying and him not learning the truth till later on down the line after Arthur's defeated or whatever happens with Arthur I don't know this is just a theory not sure if it'll happen it could nakuba likes to pull surprises out of nowhere

Like the surprise of Merlin being in lions I talked about this in another pose but it's clear she's there and that in the vision Guinevere head she's showing up with the other sins to stop Arthur even though I don't think Merlin will be completely on the sins and the four nights side after all chaos is something she looked for for 3,000 years

and even though it might still seem like a mistake that Arthur has it and he and chaos have just become one being similar to how Elizabeth and her past so far one being now both Elizabeth of the past and the princess Elizabeth everyone got to know at this point I also mentioned in another post I don't think we'll be able to save Arthur cuz like I just mentioned he and chaos are just one being now I thought maybe percival's magic could work but there is a still a possibility that maybe iron sides hope for Theodora could still come true maybe life Spirit magic will work on diodora and he did be able to be saved at some point and be healed long enough to at least be able to see what Britannia is like

[like-sands-of-time]

Do you think the writers realized that the way Gaius was flipping back and forth between "Merlin you're overreacting/seeing things that aren't there/trying to change the future" and "Merlin the situation is dire/this is definitely what's happening/you alone must do this ~dangerous~ thing"

Combined with the way he is a known sorcerer, not only to the court but to the king, kept like the other magical artifacts for times of injury to the royal family that his magic might be useful

Combined with the way this man picks and chooses when to help magic users escape Camelot unharmed or when to stand by and see them captured/killed

Combined with the way he gaslights the shit out of morgana even after he knows Merlin and Morgana know of her powers

That it All equates to a massively manipulative person????? He's doing everything he can to survive, damn the very real shit going on around him. Oh what's the best course of action for another child of magic born to the same lady Vivienne who's first child you snuck out of camelot? Keep her in the dark, keep her fearful and unaware of her dreams and her powers, but yeah she's Evil now because she chooses to see the good in magic and the evil in the king for killing it (which is just another plot issue but whatever nows not the time).

We can only imagine what Camelot looked like in the days of the dragons and all other magic kind, probably a lot healthier, more vibrant, more prosperous. Nevermind that Gaius got to spend his whole youth with that prosperity, Morgana (and Merlin) surely can't miss something she never had!!!!!!!!!!!

And Merlin! Sure he takes Hunith and Balinor's boy in, because he needs an apprentice, because the circumstances line up, because destiny, whatever the reason. And he cares about Merlin's life enough to sacrifice himself multiple times (only because Merlin is Emrys the god among men, immortal, sworn to serve Arthur the once and future king for all of time) But he does not really help Merlin in the following ten years. The boy who came to Camelot, the opinions he held, the care he had for others, that boy is lost or warped more like through years of Gaius' (and Kilgharrah before they just like changed his personality) careful commentary undermining Merlins beliefs and changing his actions. Then when said actions obviously work out poorly(think, self fulfilling prophecy episodes, episodes where Merlin is convinced to outright lie to Arthur's face, etc) then it's Merlins fault and Gaius is there to comfort him and then they share a funny little moment and everything's fine !!!

Like, did the writers mean to write it like this because ho-ly shit! That's how it reads every single episode. Merlin the young warlock would not have done these things. The boy he was in season one? When confronted with admitting his magic(the thing he was so self conscious of, but so proud of at the same time) or lying to Arthur to his face he would have spoken the truth. Gaius (and Kilgharrah) turned him into a man deceitful manipulative tool, bent on controlling Arthur without ever telling him the truth and letting him make his own mind.

Because that Arthur, the Arthur of season one, would have taken in the knowledge of both Merlin his friend, and morgana his sister, and stood up for them, helped keep them safe, accepted them and their magic. That Arthur clearly loved morgana and Merlin above all else, even though he struggled with saying it, he proved it in his actions. Merlin (through his mentors) TURNs Arthur from magic, when he was willing to save Mordred, willing to sympathize with magic users, to see their worth, to spare them if they did not commit crimes, willing to accept the help of a foreign mage in the caves, and willing to question his father To!! His !! Face!! About the knights code.

You're telling me Merlin would forget about these things, would lie to Arthur that Morgause lied, when he could have just said, hey she showed you your mum, but killing your dad isn't the answer. How FUCKING hard would that have been? This show made Merlin a bad guy, a man against his own kind. that's the real tragedy. Merlin, emrys, would never do these things in season one. He had to be convinced by his mum not to tell Arthur after will died. He was willing to share. The show themselves didn't want it, because it provided comedy(how does Arthur not see!!1!) And angst (how does Arthur not see !?!)

[justalittleobsessed]

🧡 A Little Fanfic for You... Or My Fic Masterlist ✍️

Fandoms: Merlin, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (all iterations)

Total Fic Count: 31

Main Fic RN: When the Thunder and Lightning Comes (I Know That You'll Be by My Side)

All fics can be found on AO3!

*Last updated October of 2024!

Merlin:

How to Reveal Your Magic Because You Have No Sense Of Self Preservation Whatsoever: A Guide By Merlin Emrys

A series of unrelated one-shots and short stories about Merlin revealing his magic because both he and all his friends are idiots. Also, Merlin, for the life of him, has no sense of self-preservation at all and I try to embody that in these fics.

Series info as of November 2023:

Not completed

10 works (listed below)

Best + Bitter = Better (one-shot, 2,637 words, part 1 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

This was actually happening. They were being serious. They were actually being completely, utterly serious.

“You can’t actually believe this.” He gestured wildly to the group of people in front of them. Well, as best as he could tied up. This was one of the most ridiculous things he had ever heard. This was… this was… he didn’t even know. “This is complete bullshit.”

“Emrys was clear in his instructions. You must be sacrificed in order to bring peace to Albion”

OR

The one where Merlin has had enough of everyone's shit.

Ironically Alive (one-shot, 3,139 words, part 2 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Gwaine smiled that way he does when he wants to tick Arthur off. So really, it was his normal smile. “Seemed like a perfectly reasonable detail to point out.” He flipped his hair to the side, turning to face Arthur.

“Perfectly reasonable?!”

Behind Merlin, he heard some of the bandits shifting, whispering to one another. He was pretty sure it went along the lines of ‘what in the hell is going on’ and ‘there can’t actually be that many mysterious magical druids with blue cloaks that talk about destiny and give out magical red amulets to help stop enchantments that one sorcerer meets’, which, unfortunately, was sad and accurately true.

OR

Merlin is never relaxing ever again. He was going to make sure of that after this shit.

Pick Your Poison (Literally) (one-shot, 2,469 words, part 3 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

So. That… just happened. Leon, in his lifetime, had witnessed many strange, unbelievable, and frankly quite concerning things. When one lived in Camelot, and was friends with both Arthur and Merlin, one usually got into a lot of crazy and unbelievable situations. And Leon was no exception.

But this. This had to take the cake. “Merlin.”

He hummed in response. It was entirely too calm. “Why did you just drink poison?” Fire, no literal fire and chaos reigned around them.

“It seemed like the reasonable thing to do at the time.”

And yet, he found himself not surprised in the slightest.

Leon pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling the oncoming headache behind his eyes. Goddamn fucking stubborn idiot.

OR

Merlin decides poisoning himself is the best way to prove a point. Leon is just tired. So tired.

Caves and Valleys and Magic, Oh My! (one-shot, 2,603 words, part 4 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Merlin stepped back. He was… appalled. Shocked. Angry. Slightly hungry. MAD. Who did they think they were?!

“Excuse me?!” Arthur screeched. “Merlin has magic?!”

“Yes.” Leon deadpanned. “Now please, Merlin.”

How did he get here? How did this happen to him? Why was his life like this? He just wanted to be in his nice warm bed and instead he was soaked, stuck in a magical cave, and made to listen to his friends reveal all his secrets.

Right. Sounded about accurate.

OR

Merlin just wants to be home. Unfortunately, it seems like everyone else his different ideas. Typical.

Let's Do the Time Warp (Hopefully Not Again) (two-shot, 9,946 words, part 5 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Merlin, mate. He’s not lying. I wish you two were married. I, for one, would be your best man, obviously.”

"Poetry," Leon mumbled behind him, "Goddamned poetry."

Merlin gave him another startled look-voice rising in distress. “You were my best man!”

Oh, how thoughtful. Too bad he doesn't remember.

Gwaine gave him a thumbs up. "Okay."

OR

Gwaine is generally confused about everything that is going on. Merlin, on the other hand, just wants to go back to his NORMAL, totally STRESS-FREE life. Hahaha.

Just Another Tuesday (one-shot, 3,104 words, part 6 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

Arthur… really didn’t understand what was happening here. Look, he was generally confused by Merlin most of the time - the man was a riddle wrapped in an enigma with a side of sass to boot. But this was too much, even by his manservant’s standards.

“No. I refuse to believe this. You,” He pointed at the woman, who had just been walking on water, and then to Merlin, who had just kissed the lady who was walking on water, “and you are not married.”

Merlin and Freya held out their hands. Rings that formed out of water moved onto their previously empty ring fingers.

“Oh,” Merlin said, like an ass, “I think we are.”

OR

Arthur just wants to be in bed. It seems the entire world is against that idea.

Today Has Been Like... Torture (one-shot, 2,299 words, part 7 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Wait a minute… Do you have a pit of fire?”

The shack they were in was very small. Very cramped, and very much smelling of blood. They both looked around the room as if a pit of fire would suddenly appear. Merlin hoped a pit of fire would suddenly appear. That would make getting kidnapped on a Sunday worth it.

Murder Man looked at the ground sadly. “No.” His voice was quiet, sad. So disappointing. A pit of fire would’ve really spiced things up.

OR

Merlin is positively bored. Sounds like a great time to get tortured, of course.

Call It Like It Is (one-shot, 2,900 words, part 8 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“How do you…” Arthur wiggles his fingers, like he’s teaching magic to a five-year-old, “conjure the fire?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Merlin starts, because what the fuck else does he have to do, and Lancelot just looks at him with that stupid look he always does when Merlin’s about to say something particularly stupid- “I call it forth from the deepest pits of hell.”

OR

Everyone may know about Merlin's magic, but nobody knows what he's actually capable of. Merlin decides that this is a great advantage when your boyfriend is an idiot.

To Be a God (one-shot, 2,419 words, part 9 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“Bow before me,” The sorcerer announces from his perch atop a pile of rubble, “for I am the Mighty Emrys, and I am a god.” It’s not a very mighty perch for someone who claims to be a god. In fact, it’s a very sad, unremarkable perch. Or maybe he’s just a sad, unremarkable man.

“No, I’m Emrys.” Merlin bites back.

“Maybe… we’re all Emrys.” Gwaine breathes out. Gwaine, Merlin thinks, really needs to shut his mouth.

OR

The one where someone claims to be Emrys, and Merlin decides to put him in his place.

Just a Minor Accident (one-shot, 2,431 words, part 10 of How to Reveal Your Magic series)

“I’m sorry... I must’ve misheard you. What the hell did you just say?” This can’t be real. This cannot possibly be real. He must be hallucinating. Hearing things. Maybe he’s finally lost it. That would make more sense than this.

Gwaine grins back at him with a somewhat manic smile. Merlin tries to sink deeper into his bed. “I said that we accidentally raised the dead.” No. He heard right.

OR

The Knights raise the dead. Merlin just wants one full night of sleep, please.

The Once and Future Reign (one-shot, 7,034 words, part 1 of In Another Time series)

It started with Merlin. It always starts with Merlin.

Just One Yesterday (chapter story w/ 4 chapters, 24,076 words, on hiatus)

Merlin had waited a long, long, long time for the return of Arthur. Maybe even the knights or Gwen. What he wasn't prepared for was an ancient evil rising up to destroy the world. He certainly wasn't prepared for six new occupants in his house, who had no idea how to navigate the new world around them. But, he could handle it. After all, he was the most powerful being on the planet. How hard could it be?

Auribus Teneo Lupum (chapter story w/ 1 chapter, 5,691 words, on hiatus)

Morgana had unleashed something onto this world that had shaken Merlin to his core. Something cold and dark and not at all right. It swirled and settled inside of him, mocking his magic.

No matter what happened in the next few days, Merlin knew that nothing would ever be the same.

The Remnants of a Warlock (one-shot, 6,588 words)

Merlin sees everybody he has ever held close to his heart die off one by one. But he always moves on. He has to. So he locks it up and keep moving, because that's what he does. It's what he'll always do.

OR

The one where Merlin watches as all his friends die. He might see them live, too.

TMNT:

Move Along

Mikey's got this bad habit of dying, and his brothers got this bad habit of not liking that. Mikey would appreciate it if his brothers would stop caring so much, and his brothers would appreciate it if he could start caring about it a whole lot more.

It's gonna be a wild ride.

Series info as of November 2023:

Not completed

2 works (listed below)

I Get Knocked Down (But I Get Up Again) (chapter story w/ 50 chapters, 131,830 words, completed)

Mikey lives, and Mikey dies. He’s been doing it for years, and yeah, sure it’s not his favorite thing to do, but it’s whatever. It’s nothing to worry about. He’s not worried about it. He just hopes his brothers never find out, ‘cause he has a feeling that they’d way overreact.

OR

Mikey’s died a bunch of times and is totally Okay™ with this. His brothers? Not so much.

When the Thunder and Lightning Comes (I Know That You'll Be by My Side) (chapter story w/ 18 chapters, 50,102 words, updates frequently, side story to main fic)

Mikey lives, and Mikey dies. His brothers live too, although they don't die, and find it very concerning that Mikey continuously and worryingly continues to do so without caring. They'll get Mikey to understand that maybe that's not all that great... as soon as they figure out what's going on, that is.

OR

Mikey keeps dying. His brothers would greatly appreciate it if he would stop doing that, please.

On Some Days (one-shot, 2,431 words, TMNT - All Media Types)

Sometimes, if he listened closely enough, he could hear their voices. Not often, not often enough, but sometimes.

It's too Quiet. He misses the Loud.

Life Could Be a Dream (chapter story w/ 9 chapters, 35,678 words, TMNT 2003, TMNT 2012, TMNT IDW, completed)

"Hey Raphie..."

"And that's another thing," he adds, narrowing his eyes, "since when do you call me Raphie?"

Since forever. He wants to say. But that was before, and this is now. He thinks he might kinda hate now.

OR

Mikey, being Mikey, finds trouble. It's just that this trouble seems to involve him being human. It also seems to involve him not talking to his brothers, or having a dad, or being a ninja. So there's that. But all those things can be fixed, right? Something's telling him it's not gonna be as easy as it sounds.

Awaiting Your Arrival (With Simple Survival) (one-shot, 3,481 words, TMNT 2012)

Michelangelo runs into Dimension X with a goal in mind and an unwavering faith that his family will follow right behind him. Except Dimension X screws up that from the very beginning. And keeps continuing to screw up. Again, and again, and again.

OR

Mikey learns how to survive.

Whumptober 2023

Michelangelo-centric whumptober fics!

Series info:

Completed

11 works (listed below)

If Only the World Could Stop Spinning (one-shot, 2,019 words, part 1 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Denial Only Gets You So Far (one-shot, 1,569 words, part 2 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

All That Burning (one-shot, 1,058 words, part 3 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2012)

Just a Flesh Wound (one-shot, 3,301 words, part 4 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Under Pressure (one-shot, 2,965 words, part 5 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

A Survivor's Guilt (one-shot, 833 words, part 6 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - The Last Ronin)

Don't Go Silent on Me (one-shot, 2,846 words, part 7 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Actions Have Consequences (one-shot, 3,524 words, part 8 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2003)

Something Old, Something Treasured (one-shot, 3,517 words, part 9 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT 2003)

Broken Promises (one-shot, 2,228 words, part 10 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - The Last Ronin)

Not the Best of Days (one-shot, 3,926 words, part 11 of Whumptober 2023, TMNT - All Media Types)

Whumptober 2024

More Michelangelo-centric whumptober fics!

Series info:

In progress

1 work (listed below)

Just Out of Time (one-shot, 771 words, part 1 of Whumptober 2024, TMNT 2018)